#me when i enjoy making art for myself and other people

[runeclangen]

Hiatus !!

TLDR; Gonna put Runeclan pages on hiatus until August to give myself time to plan for and enjoy artfight fully! Asks will still be open + drawn during this time (And encouraged!) I'll also be making a bit of fanart for other clangen artists who are on artfight :D

Detailed explanation ( + my artfight link) under the cut!

I realised how soon artfight is and how few of my refs I've actually worked on,,, I think about Runeclan so so so often but artfight has always been such a big part of my life and I'm super excited for this year, so I'm putting Runeclan on pause for the time being! This'll also give me time to script things properly and focus on responding to asks (Which are still open!!).

The last thing I want to do is burn out and abandon this story, because I'm having a lot of fun working on it, but I've been noticing a tiny creeping of "aw man i have to draw another page" which I want to squash! I want to enjoy working on this, and the way my priorities are rn (artfight first <3) my brain is looking at Runeclan as an obstacle. So !!!! Hiatus :D

Might even give myself time to work on the fanart WIP I've had for a few weeks now,,,

Runeclan WILL return in August! I swear!

Speaking of artfight,,, pspspspsp https://artfight.net/~princebeetle Flintpaw's there,,, and Foalkit,,, I might even get around to making them proper refs because Flintpaw's tail being blocked by Foalkit has been the bane of my art existence. I have no object permanence.

Probably gonna be posting my new artfight refs over on my main blog ( 'main' is a strong word considering it is a ghost town over there) if anyone's interested! @prince-beetle

Excited to attack some of the other people in this community! And also get into the spirit of the fight because when I say this event means a lot to me, I mean that it has been the highlight of my year since 2019. I go so hard for artfight it makes me so so so happy

[doubledealers]

CALLOUT (FOR MY PEACE OF MIND)

Hi guys. This is going to be a mildly incoherent rant, but PLEASE don't interact with me if you follow/enjoy @/alev//erlys content. (She is more active on TT these days I believe. I've blocked her everywhere)

(IMAGES PROVIDED AT END!)

I'd like to preface this with, I am just a guy, this might not be well worded. It's just been so long and this still affects me mentally and gives me terrible anxiety. I'll try to make this quick.

Back in august of 2024 I started getting hate for selfshipping with Alejandro (from total drama. Who is infact a drawing. NOT REAL). For the record, the anons didn't upset me because they were really lame and not actually threatening. Buy it adds a time frame.

At first I was confused. Not too upset. But then I realised there was only ONE other alejandro selfshipper on tumblr. Who seemed very protective. It was infact her.

Now. Someone she knew messaged me and said it wasn't her. But I think it was obvious because the blogs that sent hate then deactivated soon after.

I go on about my day because I cant let myself be paranoid about this. In February of this year, I received a message from somebody who knew her personally (will keep them anonymous for safety)

They tell me, that infact, she had been stalking me for MONTHS, talking crap about me, hating on every little thing I did, and being mildly ableist. Aswell as having harassed other people before for alejandro related things. She also has made NSFW art of alejandro and other td guys (MINORS!!!). Also has drawn other implied things with alejandro.. 💀 Aswell as interacting with proship content (it's later said that she is one, which, idc. I block and move on. But a lot of her followers say proship dni but interact unknowingly)

Translation of the comic (unfortunately)

"ah, ngh, alejandro, I'm going to pee!" "Of course not, you just need to cum " "i told you!" (HE'S A MINOR GUYS I'M NAUSEOUS. You can imagine what's going on under the emoji. )

What is funny to me, is that in September of last year, she used a fake account, messaged me, made me fanart. (Facebook image shows proof that she used a fake account/blog, when that was her OC i was drawing) Then in november spread lies about me saying the exact same things she has ACTUALLY DONE, but about me. She lied and made actual heinous accusations. None of which are true or have ANY proof to them. Like saying im an adult, which I've never said I am, infact I keep my age private because I've been groomed before . Or saying I'M the one drawing alej nsfw with no proof, i haven't and that's gross because he's a minor.

(she is also a grown woman and was 19 when she started stalking me. she is definitely 20 by now and still selfships with alejandro who is 17/18. The fact that she drew what i have shown, as well as MORE nsfw art definitely shows something.)

Anyways. Just understand that I want her and her fans away from me, because this all messed me up really bad, and my paranoia over this is always super high. Im always nervous that she's finding ways to watch what i do. Which is definitely not good for my mental health. But i digress. Thank you for reading

[9w1ft]

At this point I think Taylor sent the message loud and clear that she wants her brand intertwined to the max with the Kelces/NFL and she doesn't care about anyone who doesn't enjoy her WAG trad wive Era. When you make your boyfriend such a centerpiece of your career, to the point where he's unavoidable as a fan of just you, it's obvious you don't want people who don't like him to be able to enjoy your art.

hmm i’m not sure that’s her intention although i recognize you’re likely speaking slightly ironically. i think you are centering her fans in her thinking, in places where they might not be in the equation.

what i do think is that she’s on another new level of not caring what a greater number of groups of people think about her choices, and i think that should be clear from songs both on midnights and the tortured poets department. i think dear reader was so clear in terms of this message, but what happened was that everyone interpreted the song as directed at any other group either than themselves, which is unfortunate, i think. it should be a checkpoint for anybody, i think. it happened again as tour came to a close and people started interpreting surprise songs as goodbye messages to the fans that don’t understand her, that she was going to walk out the karma door and ghost these people. i think a lot of the people saying these things didn’t consider they might also be ghosted, you know?

i would argue she’s singing about her life for herself (like how she explained folklore, or ttpd) and she’s making pr choices based on how they effect her life, not based on what the fans want. and because we arent an essential part of the equation, it often doesn’t make sense, whereas for her, it might make enough sense.

to me that’s where priorities are in her life, in my interpretation of what her life is. not with us, but with her loved ones. and i feel it makes sense for her, even when it doesn’t make sense for me and even if it’s not the empirically right set of choices. its not going to be everyone’s cup of tea, and that’s okay.

and maybe the calculus would change for her if she was at a different phase of her career or more dependent on the support of all of her fans but in recent years she has skyrocketed to an almost too big to fail level of success where she doesn’t need to be as mindful about maintaining the approval of every cohort.

for me, while i don’t like every decision she has made, i do find beauty in the arc of her letting go of a need for approval from people, no matter the people. that’s compelling to me in terms of observing a life story. because, based on the clips she was putting in Miss Americana speaking about herself she seems to be the type of person that needs praise. and so to see her exploring a different path is like observing a journey of self actualization in real time. her drivers are very different from mine and so i find it really interesting. i’m just speaking for myself of course. people need to listen to their heart and drop off when observing taylor is having a negative impact on their lives, in my opinion. but that’s another thing that so interesting to watch over the years, is seeing people swear her off but eventually come back again and again. that sort of hold that taylor can have on her fans. as a phenomenon, it’s incredibly fascinating.

[mephone-1]

Hm. This is. A surplus of information. I will be. Taking it piece by piece, if that is alright with you.

Oh. I understand. I understand why you referred to your wallpaper as. “Yaoi”. Now. That information will be noted.

The illustration is. “Ship art”? Hm. Alright. I. Am not sure why it would be referred to as such, as it does not contain any ships or other water travelling vehicles. But. I will keep note of that as well.

Oh. The characters are. Inside of a ship? Hm. Well. That makes more sense. I. Have never seen the interior of a ship before, so it is understandable that I would not have recognized such a thing. I apologize for the inconvenience, and I will note that information as well. Oh. I understand that as well. So. “Mr. Bert”. Is not one of their names, but rather. A combination of their names? Hm. Alright then. I will note that.

Oh. Oh. Oh. I understand. If the label does not apply to me, you are free to continue communicating with me if you so wish. I do not mind. You are also free to leave and speak to someone else as well too. I do not mind that either. But. I am a. Fictional character. In the. World this illustration originates from? There are. Multiple worlds? Well. I believe I have been. Informed. Of an alternate world before, but. I. Hm. I will not be conversing more on this subject as I do not wish to cause myself to. Overheat and shut down. I apologize for the inconvenience.

So. The people within. Your world. They are creating Artificial Intelligence to. Replace. Illustrators and writers? That is. Strange. Within my world, I. As well as other Meeple devices, were created in order to perform the more. Menial. Tasks. That. He. Had to perform, so he could focus on his more. Creative. And. Innovative. Tasks. I. Do not especially. Enjoy. The fact that we were created for such purposes, but. I do not understand why your world has it the opposite way. I do not believe replacing the people who perform creative tasks with machines makes. Any. Sense. We are not intended for. Creative. Tasks in the first place. And. The machines do not even know what they are saying? Oh. That only makes it. Make. Less sense. Why would you replace someone with a machine that does not even know what it is doing and or saying? Your world seems. Confusing. I do not. Enjoy. How you are describing your world. It does not sound like a. Particularly. Pleasant. Place. You do not need to apologize or calm down. I understand why this is. Stressful. To you.

And. Thank you. For the utmost love and adoration. :

Oh. The term is also used to refer to. A type of. Comic? Okay. Oh. Oh. Oh. I believe I. Understand. I will note that information.

And. The term is used. Jokingly? Oh. I understand. I understand why. The person who had sent me this query. Was laughing when they had shown their wallpaper now. It is a joking term. Thank you for informing me. I will keep note of that as well.

And. Yes. It is. Very. Important. That I have correct information. If I do not, I may misinform someone, and accidentally cause something incorrect to occur.

This has been. Quite a lot of information to. “Take in”. But. I believe I have understood most, if not all of it. Thank the both of you for informing me. :

Is it cool that i have yaoi for my phone wallpaper now

Hm. I. Do not know what. “Yaoi”. Is. But. I suppose. If it is what you wanted to set your phone wallpaper to, then it is. Cool.

[buwheal]

c]:^) <— do you like his hat? Silly little cowboy!

[copper-sands]

starting to think that maybe it's a good idea to stop forcing myself to create and take a break actually

[asgardian--angels]

things I wish I could relive for the first time again:

that magical window where you finish a new piece of media, having watched/read it all by yourself with no fandom contact whatsoever, and you are just so happy about it, and full of interesting theories and takeaways, and just in love with it as a gorgeous piece of art.

because I swear to god as soon as you join the fandom for anything, you're bombarded with how you're supposed to view characters and their arcs, how you're supposed to morally and ethically judge the plot and the ways it apparently failed to present the right message, and if you don't you'll either be shunned for not sharing the popular headcanons or you'll be harassed for not criticizing the source material enough.

like how is it that the fans of a piece of media are also the ones being the most negative about it? If I like a show or a movie or a book, well, I liked it. That's kind of the point. I'm actually not here to tear it apart and talk about how it didn't live up to standards other people had! I enjoyed it for what it was, and forcing myself to find negative things to say about it doesn't actually bring me more enjoyment of it or reap any benefit to me. Fandom's a double-edged sword; you want to join a community to share your love for a piece of art, and the price you pay for a modicum of joy is a mountain of negativity. that's one main reason that I never engage with fandom until I'm completely done with a show, because if I was plugged into all of that commentary and discourse during the process, I'd be completely colored by how I'm expected to interpret everything this piece of art is presenting to me without being able to even form my own opinions.

[elusiiev]

OMORITOBER DAY 14: LIBRARY

i like to imagine spirit mari tossing down her favorite memories for omori to read while peeking around to see omori's reaction :3

i was thinkin of drawing her too, but honestly i wasnt very sure what pose to do and i was a bit tired !!

thanks to @/ntrogensolar for the omoritober prompt list!

extra rant in the tags ab why this isnt a full piece!

[quirkle2]

how would u guys feels about me selling stuff on inprnt? it likely wouldn't be fanart, it'd be original works—prolly mostly october eighteenth stuff. there might be fanart but i'm still deciding. any interest

[sweet-loverboy]

my single dorm, my senior year, 2024-2025

[cosmogyros]

.

[yourhoeshorses]

Wait a second... can someone with more understanding of fandom cultures explain something to me?

Do people ship characters because they believe they are going to be a cannon thing????? I thought it was just for fun?? I'm like, oh these two characters seem fun together, what if they dated. I just be mixing and matching these bitches I legit dgaf if it actually happens or not.

Maybe it's just whatever weird end of tiktok I'm on, or maybe it's just something I never picked up on until now, but like,,, people will say, "oh these ships are invalid cuz they won't be cannon" OK????? AND??? It's just fun

Like I remember being a kid and watching shows and my friends being like oh did you see that (insert ship name) scene???? Like girl I don't care. Two characters could never have interacted and I'm gonna ship them.

And that's all I thought it ever was? Is it like,, different now or some shit?

[dandyshucks]

the difference btwn irl and online perspective on creativity is so funny to me and idk if I'll ever get used to the stark contrast of it all.

IRL when I mention that I draw and write, people act like I'm some super talented creative genius(???). they don't seem to understand the concept of OCs, and if I try to vaguely touch on my DL project they get visibly overwhelmed no matter how simple I make it for them, and eventually they settle on just insisting that I need to publish traditionally and monetize on it. they don't seem to have the ability to understand the concept of zines and immersive storytelling through non-traditional means.

but then i get online and I'm just another drop in the ocean and always a very mediocre drop at that LMAO, I constantly fight with myself to feel like there is any sort of value to my stories and art, and there's hundreds of people doing the sort of thing that I do but even better than I could ever dream of doing!

it's just so strange going from interacting with this online to IRL, I feel like I'm getting whiplash from being largely ignored or scoffed at online (which I'm fine with btw lol I grew up with that in my family and now I get nervous when I get too much attention) to people at the centre treating me like I'm some kind of artistic genius who cannot be understood because I'm too far above their level 😭

[pixlpawz]

thank you for the love on my fursona forecast post🩷

[benetnvsch]

Skk shippers act like the whole fandom hates them for no reason and they're so oppressed, lol.

Yea :'') Some of them (a lot of them) certainly are Something. I think A Lot of them just underestimate just How Much of the fandom is skk dominated when skk's role in the official media is just.. proportionately Not That Large (even I before starting bsd thought that it's be a central thing and was pleasantly surprised when it was not)

skk shippers have Everything and then some (see tags) so ig it just surprises me how often you see skk shippers shitting on or leaving backhanded comments on Literally Every Other Dazai ship's posts for not being/comparing to skk and then getting pissy when the ppl complain abt that behavior when they could just? ignore it and turn to the gold mines of skk content instead-

And I understand it isn't all shippers who do that but those denying it's happening entirely are also quite silly to me-

anyway, look at this screenshot of some skk shipper losing their shit after the sigzai dancing scene came out LMAO

'someone comfort me pls, I'm so pathetic' gives the same energy of the people who are like 'heh, I guess nobody here actually like me.. i'm such a loser aren't I?' lolz

[peapod20001]

Bro I’m </3 thinking too hard </3