#me when I'm lactose intolerant

[mukuharakazui]

My favourite Town of Salem headcanons for the townies are the ones I have based on things that frequently happen in-game. People mix up the Medium and the Doctor because they're identical twins with similar names. The Spy, Lookout, and Jailor have an elaborate, 3-way secret handshake. The Transporter is transgender, celibate, and doesn't drink alcohol. The Mayor is a fucking idiot.

[arctic-hands]

For real tho health freaks who scream about how sugar and salt will kill us all and try to push for restrictions on things like candy and chips for SNAP recipients or politicians who try from time to time to replace food stamps all together and give out Government Approved Staples like bread and peanut butter and Government Cheese are gonna kill a whole lotta sick and disabled people like

Diabetics

POTS sufferers

Hypotensives

People with peanut allergies

People with celiac disease or wheat allergies

The lactose intolerant

People who can't eat solid food

People who are undernourished for any reason and need all the calories they can pack on

So-called "picky eaters" who can't tolerate certain tastes and textures without getting violently ill

A myriad of other human conditions that cannot be neatly tallied into categories because the human body and human experience is vast and infinitely variable

But I don't think ableds really care about us and our health like they like to claim so they can harass us about it, do you?

[creepyscritches]

The way I am a bottomless pit for the paneer butter masala the restaurant down the street makes... I put myself in a food coma last night from it (no survivors) and I'm already like "Man I could go for some butter masala and garlic naan"

Maybe this means I should learn to cook this dish next 🤔

[animeomegas]

Nooo, this pizza has made me sick!! Damn you dairy and gluten!

I'm only half way through editing the next chapter, but I promise I'll finish it off first thing tomorrow when I'm feeling a bit better.

It won't be long until you can all meet our mystery man...

[forgotten-daydreamer]

why is it that every time i eat anything my belly hurts >:( i'm gonna need you to stop doing that right fucking now.

[dirtcola]

elimination diet update: nuts and eggs (and possibly soy? i accidentally ate some today oopsie) seem to be okay for me. More and more signs pointing towards dairy as the culprit of my allergic reactions... 😳

[sleepyandweepyandtired]

@somethingintheforest yes! And it gets worse - the reason soya is such a common dairy alternative is that the proteins are similar to milk proteins so it's not only possible but actually pretty common to be allergic to both dairy and soya!

gasp

GASP

[asrinchine]

When the food is fucking spicy and they tell you to drink milk because it helps.

lactose intolerant people :

[r0semultiverse]

me: mmmm iced creammmmm I'll eat a lot this time my tummy: hey heres slight discomfort for a bit thanks to that me: ah ok less next time then, got it my tummy: that wasn't the point- me: only a few scoops per day got it yep :)

[mukuharakazui]

Four times this week I have spent twenty+ minutes pocketing a really nice Heavy who was crazy good at the game and was always checking back on me, sharing their food, and making sure they stay around cover for me when they're the one getting shot at. And then I have been utterly flabbergasted when they've turned on voice chat and are absolutely no older than 13 and young as 7.

[helsensm]

The aftermath of the karaoke night by @1aik-lieutenant - I saw it and immediately wanted to draw something aahhjJHFH 🙈

+ random thoughts and headcanons

they. are. hammered.

yep, the gang decided that Kenshi is the one to lead the way back home. The man has NO IDEA where they are 😔 (they stumbled upon Waccas)

Johnny is a high-functioning alcoholic, he drinks almost every day and usually can hold his liquor. But when he's out partying or having fun with friends he loses control and often is the first one on the floor.

Kung Lao drinks as much as he can but he also eats a lot (like A LOT) so somehow he's the most stable of the four.

Raiden switches between silent smiling (he's just happy to be there 😊) and loudly talking about random things. Also I wouldn't be surprised if he's the one who starts beef with a sketchy group of people down the alley.

Johnny was the loudest singer but it was Kenshi and Raiden who lost their voices the next day.

OF COURSE they were singing International Love among other songs, this goes without saying!

I hope Johnny is not lactose intolerant cause I'm pretty sure it's a milkshake…

It's either a double date OR - and hear me out! - railao are not together yet, but that night they were more physically affectionate with each other than usual and both realized they don't mind to take things to the next level 👀

…or they continue to not talk about their feelings so the ache and desire will burn them from the inside because DRAMA 😌♥️

[modernmutiny]

Man i appreciate fanfic writers So Much already but i just read a line in a fic abt putting fruit in the bottom of a bowl of cereal and maybe I'm just a little high but my mind is Blown. Now I'm sitting here imagining cut up strawberries then milk then Cheerios and that sounds just. So Good

[ambreiiigns]

i'm hungry but i'm so scared of eating anything bc i know for the next three day it's gonna be non-stop food and i don't know if there's any lactose that can help me

[ffwritingortheattempt]

i'm finally listening to a band i used to love. I stopped listening to it because of who the band reminded me of and made my heart hurt just a bit. I don't think I'll stop thinking of him when I listen to the band any time soon, it's already been 8 years the memories haven't faded yet. It's funny because i never actually started a relationship with him, but somehow this makes feelings stronger? the what if of it all, even if i know deep inside that it wouldn't have ended well. All this to say that I am mazed at the connections that we make between the people we love and the things they love and at some point that thing will continue to remind us of them after they have left our lives. I'm finally listening to the band again and somehow are now okay with the fact that it reminds me of him. And it reminds me of some of the little things about them that I have decided are worth remembering.

[primthegreat]

More of my family quotes as batfam, enjoy!

-------‐--------------------------------------------------------

Dick: God, my stomach hurts so much right now

Tim: What did you eat today?

Dick: well... I mean, I had chocolate milk when I woke up, the a turkey snack stick or something with string cheese, I made nachos but the ones where you put cheese on chips and microwave it, then I had another glass of chocolate milk with that, then I got ice cream

Tim: ... Dick you're lactose intolerant

Dick: Yeah? My stomach still hurts

Tim: *walks away*

_______________________

Tim: I don't know Steph I think we shou-

Stephanie:*puts her hand over his mouth* not now kitten whiskers, daddy will discuss it with you later

Tim:*licks her hand*

Steph: Ew! Dude, what the fuck!

Tim: No no no, I should be saying that to you why on earth would you say that to me

Steph: This is NOT very demure!

Tim: kill yourself, actually, I'm gonna go kill myself and you're the reason! *walks away*

Steph: That's not very cutesy, Tim!

_______________________________

Jason: *calls Dick* Hoe, the things you've lied about

Dick: I plead the 5th you have no proof

Jason: Bitch what? No, wtf kind of answer is that?

Dick: Sorry, what did you need?

Jason: Did you steal my sandals?

Dick: OH! Yeah, I did *sends a picture*

Jason: ... are you wearing mismatched socks with sandals?

Dick: No! *looks down dramatically and gasps* I am! The scandal!

Jason: Die, please, I'm begging you.

___________________________________

Dick: *sends and image to damian*

Dick: Do I need it?

Damian: STOP.

__________________________________

Last one happens all the time to me but the image was from my sister, I think the 83 things in the cart was very Dick like.

I didn't know if I should have put damian or Bruce but whatever

[emphistic]

"I'm Lactose Intolerant"

Things Reader Should Acknowledge: I ACCIDENTALLY POSTED THIS ALREADY BECAUSE I FORGOT TO SAVE IT AS A DRAFT, i have yet to get the hang of tumblr, yuuji hasnt been born yet, the itadori parents neglect their children so grandpa takes care of them, waaaaaay later is when yuuji is born, sukuna gets his tattoos when he is older

Prologue: As summer nears its end, and autumn takes its place, you find yourself in quite the situation. A new family has arrived in the neighborhood, and your parents have tasked you with greeting your new neighbors. A wacky grandpa, a gloomy tween. Seriously, could things get any worse?

A/N: Sukuna is 10 years old, while reader is 9 years old. However, Sukuna was held back a grade, so guess who is joining your class this year? *cue the confetti*

Please REFRAIN from REPOSTING MY WORK (REBLOGS ARE EXEMPTED FROM THIS RULE)

PS: i know little kids shouldnt be walking the streets alone, but lets just pretend the world is a better place

Chores are boring. Errands, on the other hand? Well, not so much.

You shielded your eyes from the rays of the sun as you walked down the street, avoiding the cracks on the pavement. The sky bled as the sun set and the songs of the birds started to come to a halt. It was a typical Saturday, help get the groceries, head home, and assist with dinner as much as possible. However, what wasn't typical was the fact that there was a moving company's truck blocking your way home.

Wow, there's definitely a better way to go about this, you sigh. Mindlessly, you kick a pebble aside and tighten your grip on your tote bag as your stride continues.

Several men in navy colored uniforms carry boxes as another man, who you estimate is a septuagenarian, surveys the workers from the front lawn of his new house. The man, who you also assume is your new neighbor, has his hands clasped behind his back and wears a green wool sweater.

Deciding to be polite, you clear your throat, neaten up your braids, and slowly approach the man, cautious as you try not to give him a heart attack. At nine years old, one may not know much, but one might know that killing your elderly neighbor is a pretty wack first impression.

The man looks quite surprised to see you approach, and even raises a white brow.

Okay, maybe this is a bad idea, you think as your palms start to sweat. You go through several introductions through your mind just to go with the most lame one.

"Hello, sir. My name is Y/N L/N. I'm your . . . uhh, new neighbor," you cringed at yourself before holding out a hand to the man.

"Ah, wasn't expecting to meet my neighbors on the first day here. I am Mr. Itadori, pleasure to meet you," his voice sounded like that of an old man's, yet, it had such a warm, cozy feel to it. He took your hand and gave it a firm shake.

"Likewise," you say, after a few seconds of silence.

"Should a girl, — pardon my rudeness — as young as you, be walking out here alone at this time?"

"Aha, my parents trust this neighborhood enough. And anyway, I was only getting groceries from the store, it's not too far from this block actually." You pointed a finger in the direction of said store.

"Wow, you must be pretty responsible for your parents to be sending you out for groceries, huh? Good to know some children in this neighborhood help out their families," Mr. Itadori turned to face a boy, probably not much older than you, who was carrying boxes into the house when he put emphasis on the word "some".

The boy had pink unruly hair, that was slicked back and spiky. You held back a giggle at the sight.

"Grandpa, I'm literally moving furniture into the house. What are you looking at me for?" The boy grumbled, but he didn't stop as he moved the boxes.

"I never said you didn't help out. I was just simply telling Y/N here, about how some children help out their families. No need to get upset now, Sukuna." Mr. Itadori gave a small chuckle, before abruptly turning to face you.

"Oh, right! How rude of me, I haven't introduced you to my grandson."

"Oh, no worries. You guys are probably busy—" You began, before being cut off.

"Nonsense! Sukuna! Come here, boy."

Sukuna muttered something, and dropped off a box by the front of the house before moving over to you and his grandpa.

Now that the boy was closer, you could make out his red eyes, and the frown on his face. Looking back at Mr. Itadori, you noticed he did not share the same qualities as his grandson, and instead had brown eyes.

"What are you waiting for? Introduce yourself!" Mr. Itadori lightly pushed Sukuna closer to you.

The taller boy stared at you for what seemed like forever, before averting his eyes to the ground and keeping them there. "Name's Sukuna."

"Y/N. But I think your grandpa already mentioned that," you tried to lighten the mood.

You swear you heard him say something along the lines of "pretty name" under his breath, but before you could ask, Sukuna retreated to his boxes. His grandpa looked displeased at that. Actually, that's quite an understatement. He looked furious with Sukuna, but he didn't do anything other than sigh and bid you adieu and good night.

You slowly walked back to your house, your arrival being a little later than usual, which your parents questioned you about, to which you explained that there was a truck in your way.

When it was time for bed, you did as you usually did. Showered, changed into your pajamas and watched a movie before cleaning up and preparing to actually go to bed. As you moved to close your window blinds, you noticed something you hadn't seen in a long time — considering no one's occupied the house next door since it was put on sale — there was a window right across from yours, and the light was on.

You didn't plan on becoming a creep at such a young age, but due to curiosity, you didn't peel your eyes away from the window. It surprised you to see that the room across from yours was a bedroom belonging to none other then Sukuna. When you saw the pink spikes of his hair come near the window, you quickly shut the blinds.

The next morning, your mom shook you awake.

You groaned, "Mom. . . What is it?"

"We have new neighbors, honey! I've already started prepping for baking an apple pie for them—" You let her ramble on while you were still half-awake.

Oh, right . . . you never mentioned your meeting with the Itadoris. Now you have to introduce yourself to them, yet again.

"—I just need you to grab a few ingredients for me, if you don't mind."

"Sure, Mom. No problem." You stretched out your arms and yawned.

"Perfect! I'll let you get ready then. I'll give the list on your way out." Then, your mom got up, and shut the door.

You yawned again and rubbed your forehead. This was definitely going to be an interesting day, to say the least.

You met your mom downstairs and she instructed you on the ingredients you needed to purchase. "Uh huh, got it. Thanks. Bye, Mom!

Still half-asleep, you slowly slipped on your sneakers and headed out through the door. The sun warmed your face, yet sent a chill down your spine.

Apples and lemon.

Apples. . .

And lemons.

You hummed to yourself as you walked down the street, passing by the Itadori house.

Apples and lemons—

"Gah!" A little rock got in your way, and you were about to faceplant onto the sidewalk when you felt a firm hand on your shoulder reel you back upward.

You turned to see who your savior was, and cocked your head to the side in surprise.

"Sukuna? What are you doing out here?"

"No 'thanks for saving me, Sukuna'? Also, contrary to your belief, other people in this neighborhood get out the house too, y'know?"

You scoffed, jutting out your bottom lip, "Thanks."

Sukuna held a smug look on his face.

"So . . . you gonna take your hand off my shoulder, or should I do that tor you?"

He looked taken aback, and swiftly returned his hand to his hoodie pocket. "I have to go get groceries. My grandpa sent me, because our house is basically empty?" Sukuna acted as if that was common knowledge.

"What did you have for dinner last night, then?"

"Ordered in."

You mumbled, "Figured."

"Anyway, Grandpa told me you know where the closest grocery store is? I need . . . directions."

"Oh! Right," you scratched the back of your neck. "I'm actually heading there right now. You can come with." If Sukuna didn't want to go with you, he certainly didn't show it (surprisingly).

"So you're actually going to turn this way, down here, across this weird looking house or something — I actually don't even know if it has someone living in it — then go in front of this—"

"Stop talking, and maybe we'll get there faster," Sukuna muttered.

You turned around to face him; he had his hands in his pocket and wore a bored look on his face. You huffed.

"Go have someone else show you the way, then. Y'know, I was actually trying to be nice to you and all. I'm even showing you the shortcut. And now look at how you're treating me." You turned away from him.

"'Trying to be nice'? Please. You haven't asked me how day was going. 'Trying to be nice' my ass."

You ignored his use profanity at such a young age, and you came to a skidding halt; Sukuna even bumped into your back when you stopped abruptly.

"What is your problem!? So what if I haven't asked you how your day was going? SO WHAT? You haven't asked me either. If you don't like me just leave. me. alone!"

"People are so uptight these days," Sukuna shrugged.

"Uptight? UPTIGHT? Please, be my guest, and show me how I'm the uptight one here." You couldn't believe this dude. He's the only other kid in this neighborhood — besides your sibling — and he refuses to be cooperative, kind, nonetheless, a decent person.

The rest of the walk to the grocery store happened in silence. And believe me, the silence was loooouuuuddd. You wholeheartedly believed Sukuna would leave, but he didn't. Which made you even more mad.

The bell above the door chimed when you stepped in the store, out of pettiness, you didn't even hold the door for Sukuna. He scoffed at that, and you turned around to face him. "Well, here you are. The grocery store. Happy now?"

"I'm never happy."

Wow, he must've been dropped on the head as a baby, because he certainly did not get the personality from his grandpa.

You walked through the aisles one by one and searched for the items your mother requested.

Apples and lemons.

You didn't even bother placing them in a bag, insisting on carrying them yourself. Meanwhile, Sukuna was still trailing behind you, much like a lost puppy. His groceries were all in a bag, and he looked ready to pay, but he was still behind you.

Finally, you got sick of his weirdness, and peered over your shoulder to get a look of his face, which was frowning, "Why are you following me?"

He looked like he was pondering, thinking of a way to answer your question. "Girls shouldn't be walking around alone. Especially you."

"Ugh, there you go again. Always thinking you're better than everyone else. And, whaddya mean 'especially me,' huh? You don't think I can handle myself? Are you here to protect me or something? Swooping in to save the day, my knight in shining armor? Seriously, Sukuna."

He groaned, and dragged his free hand down his face, "I came from a not so safe neighborhood. Can't you see I'm just trying to look out for you? If some man came up and harassed you, and I was shopping in some other aisle, would you blame me too?" His voice softened on the last part.

"Forget it, you're right. I'm wrong," you sighed and walked to the register.

When you got home, your mom ushered you inside and hurried to start on the apple pie. You bit your nails as she worked, and she quickly took notice of that.

"Something wrong, sweetie?"

You shook your head, and mouthed a simple "no".

While you were upstairs reading a book, you heard the beeping of the oven, signaling the completion of the baking process. Before you could even put down your book, your mother called out to you from downstairs.

She welcomed you in the kitchen and took great care in wrapping the freshly baked pie in tinfoil and sending you off to the Itadori house. But before that happened, however, she made you memorize your speech, reminding you to inform your next door neighbors of who originally made the pie. And with a soft pat on the back from your mom, you were off.

It was a quarter past 12 o'clock when you finally found the courage to knock on your neighbor's front door. You heard a "coming!" from inside the house, and returned your hand to its side.

Loud footsteps came closer until finally the door was flung open. You were greeted by the sight of Mr. Itadori in a fluffy red robe, and equally fluffy slippers.

"Ah! Y/N. What a pleasant surprise to see you here."

You stuttered a bit, "Hi, Mr. Itadori. My mom and I wanted to formally introduce ourselves, and welcome you to the neighborhood — I didn't mention our very much brief meeting yesterday."

"Oh wow! You can tell your mother I appreciate her kind welcome." He turned his head into the house, and called for, "Sukuna! Come here, boy."

"Oh, I wouldn't want to be a bother—"

"Agh, you children. Always the same. Nonsense, Y/N. Utter nonsense."

Sukuna stood behind his grandpa in record time, his speed surprised you. "What's she doing here?" He sneered. You offered him a glare in return while Mr. Itadori was oblivious.

"Don't be rude to our kind neighbor. She's here to formally introduce herself."

"Again?"

"Yes. Again."

"Whatever."

Your eyes flickered back and forth between the Itadoris' banter. "I've brought some apple pie — my mom baked it."

Mr. Itadori's eyes lightened up as you presented the tinfoil covered dish to him. "It smells delicious! You really didn't have to, my dear."

"It was no big deal, I promise," you laughed (nervously).

"I will put this on the counter, one second," Mr. Itadori walked away, leaving you and Sukuna alone. The taller boy crossed his arms and leaned against the doorway.

"Apple pie? Really? Are you trying to kill me and my grandpa? I'm lactose intolerant. We're lactose intolerant. He just didn't want to seem rude, so he's putting it away."

"Oh. . . uhh, I didn't know that—"

"I can tell. You didn't think to ask first? How considerate of you, Y/N."

You stumbled on your words.

"I'm just messing with you. Apple pie is his absolute favorite."

Your jaw dropped six feet, before you came back to your senses and rolled your eyes, "Did you have to scare me like that?"

He laughed aloud, "Duh. Shoulda seen the look on your face. Priceless!" He continued to laugh, while your expression remained stoic, trying not to laugh as well. You didn't want to give him the satisfaction of thinking he was actually funny.

When his laughter subsided, he cocked his head to the side. "What's with the face? Girls don't know how to joke around or something?"

You frowned.

Mr. Itadori returned to the both of you and patted his grandson on the back. "Well! Thank you again, Y/N. Tell your family I say thanks and appreciate their kindness."

"Of course. I'll be going now." You waved to Mr. Itadori — feigning ignorance to Sukuna — and walked back to your house next door.

When Sukuna and his grandpa sat at their newly assembled dining table, they both couldn't believe how good the apple pie tasted. Sukuna even asked for a second slice.

Mr. Itadori broke the silence, "So, school starts tomorrow."

Sukuna glanced at his elder, and raised a brow.

"Since you don't know anyone else at your new school, you can ask Y/N for help. She'll be in your grade anyway."

Sukuna sighed, "Grandpa, why are girls so difficult?"

"Ohoho," Mr. Itadori's laughter boomed throughout the house. "You're a funny one, Sukuna," and he ruffled his grandson's unruly hair, messing it up more.