#me projecting on estonia LOL

[estoned-png]

the baltics are the holy trinity of sleepers

-lithuania sleep talks A LOT like bro is jus yapping about god knows what, he also tosses and turns ALOT

-estonia gets sleep paralysis. at some point bro isn't even scared, he just mentally rolls his eyes and tries to go to sleep bc sleep paralysis demon can't catch him if he closes his eyes lol also HOGS THE BLANKET BIG TIME

-latvia is a sleep walker like he opens doors and walks down halls without waking up it's wild, he's definitely scared the crap out of estonia and lithuania before. he falls off the bed more than the average person too lol

needless to say, they hated sharing a room when they lived with russia

[six-paths-of-jeanmarco]

OGAE Second Chance Contest 2023 (My Top)

inspired by @residentraccoon's post and this one video yt keeps recommending me even tho I haven't enjoyed the lame karaoke party they also happened to host the contest at that much

1 OLLIE - Venom (Estonia) - best song that hasn't been sent to Eurovision this year imo 2 Ulrikke - Honestly (Norway) - they should've went with this one if they really wanted a safe choice for the win 3 Jann - Gladiator (Poland) 4 RODAN - Introvert Party Club (Czechia) - very biased about this one; I mean, come on, it's the ultimate introvert party anthem 5 Vicco - Nochentera (Spain) 6 Lazza - CENERE (Italy) - I'm still surprised they haven't sent Il bene nel male instead giving how obsessed the fandom was with it 7 Filip Baloš - Novi plan drugi san (Serbia) 8 Ruta Mur - So Low (Lithuania) 9 Chérine - Ça M’Ennuie Pas (Belgium) 10 Elsa Lila - Evita (Albania) 11 Marcus & Martinus - Air (Sweden) - overrated tbh, Six Feet Under is so much better 12 Andreea D Folclor Orchestra - Perinița mea (Romania) - typical Romanian wedding song and I happen to hate weddings but this grew on me way more than I want to admit lol; genuinely wondering if they would've flopped just as hard as D.G.T. or it would've been the most unexpected dark horse of the year, had it been sent to Eurovision instead 13 KUUMAA - Ylivoimainen (Finland) 14 Jerry Heil - When God Shut The Door (Ukraine) 15 Will Church - Hold On (Germany) 16 Ryan Hilli - In The Silence (Malta) 17 CONNOLLY - Midnight Summer Night (Ireland) - still weirded out by the moves she made in the middle of the performance; no seriously, was she feeling good or 18 Harmonija disonance - Nevera (Lei, lei) (Croatia) 19 SunStroke Project - Yummy Mommy (Moldova) - I like the beat and that's kinda it; very disappointing compared to their other entries and tbh Du-mă would've been a much better entry 20 Edmundo Inácio - A Festa (Portugal) 21 24.Avenija - You Said (Latvia) 22 Langi Seli og Skuggarnir - OK (Iceland) 23 EYJAA - I Was Gonna Marry Him (Denmark) - not a fan of the lyrics in the least, just wait for the guy to come back or go with him lmaooo; they should've sent Freedom instead imo

[danielfuckingricciardo]

Because I’m in the Eurovision mood I thought I’d share my favourite song from each country (past and present!)

1. Albania 🇦🇱

2022 - Sekret // Ronela Hajati

2. Andorra 🇦🇩

2006 - Sense Tu // Jennifer

3. Armenia 🇦🇲

2014 - Not Alone // Aram MP3

4. Australia 🇦🇺

2015 - Tonight Again // Guy Sebastian

5. Austria 🇦🇹

2014 - Rise Like a Phoenix // Conchita Wurst

(This song makes me feel emotions every time damn it!)

6. Azerbaijan 🇦🇿

2021 - Mata Hari // Efendi

7. Belarus 🇧🇾

2014 - Cheesecake // Teo

(Underrated tune fr)

8. Belgium 🇧🇪

2015 - Rhythm Inside // Loïc Nottet

9. Bosnia and Herzegovina 🇧🇦

2011 - Love in Rewind // Dino Merlín

10. Bulgaria 🇧🇬

2017 - Beautiful Mess // Kristian Kostov

11. Croatia 🇭🇷

2023 - Mama ŠČ! // Let 3

12. Cyprus 🇨🇾

2018 - Fuego // Eleni Foureira

13. Czechia 🇨🇿

2019 - Friend of a Friend // Lake Malawi

(Was very hard to choose between this one and Lie To Me. It’s a very close second)

14. Denmark 🇩🇰

2021 - Øve Os På Hinanden // Fyr Og Flamme

(Was robbed in the semi-finals imo)

15. Estonia 🇪🇪

2015 - Goodbye to Yesterday // Elina Born + Stig Rästa

16. Finland 🇫🇮

2022 - Jezebel // The Rasmus

(Should have done so much better imo)

17. France 🇫🇷

2016 - J’ai Cherché // Amir

18. Georgia 🇬🇪

2011 - One More Day // Eldrine

19. Germany 🇩🇪

2011 - Taken by a Stranger // Lena

(Better than Satellite for sure, but Satellite slaps too)

20. Greece 🇬🇷

2008 - Secret Combination // Kalomira

21. Hungary 🇭🇺

2018 - Viszlát Nyár // AWS

22. Iceland 🇮🇸

2020 - Think About Things // Daði og Gagnamagnið

(Basic I know but it’s just such a good tune)

23. Ireland 🇮🇪

2011 - Lipstick // Jedward

(Not sorry about this one it slaps and Jedward are my kings)

24. Israel 🇮🇱

2015 - Golden Boy // Nadav Guedj

25. Italy 🇮🇹

(Gonna have to do a top five because I have such a thing for Italy in Eurovision I can’t pick just one oop)

2017 - Occidentali’s Karma // Francesco Gabbani

2015 - Grande Amore // Il Volo

2018 - Non Mi Avette Fatto Niente // Ermal Meta + Fabrizio Moro

2021 - Zitti E Buoni // Måneskin

2019 - Soldi // Mahmood

26. Latvia 🇱🇻

2022 - Eat Your Salad // Citi Zēni

(As a vegetarian and a bisexual I approve this message)

27. Lithuania 🇱🇹

2021 - Discotheque // The Roop

28. Luxembourg 🇱🇺

1988 - Croire // Lara Fabian

29. Malta 🇲🇹

2022 - Je Me Casse // Destiny

30. Moldova 🇲🇩

(My second favourite Eurovision country so here’s a top three)

2022 - Trenulețul // Zdob şi Zdub & Advahov Brothers

2018 - My Lucky Day // DoReDos

2017 - Hey Mamma // Sunstroke Project

31. Monaco 🇲🇨

1964 - Où Sont-elles Passées? // Romuald

(When I say I have an obsession with this song I mean it. PS Monaco plz come back we miss you!!)

32. Montenegro 🇲🇪

2015 - Adio // Knez

- Ranking Morocco doesn’t really feel fair because they only participated once lol -

33. The Netherlands 🇳🇱

2016 - Slow Down // Douwe Bob

(Hehe 33 Max Verstappen number it’s fate fr)

34. North Macedonia 🇲🇰

2012 - Crno I Belo // Kaliopi

35. Norway 🇳🇴

2009 - Fairytale // Alexander Rybak

(Listen I know it’s a basic choice but this song is iconic for a reason y’know? It slaps)

36. Poland 🇵🇱

2022 - River // Ochman

(King of the vocals fr brings me to tears every time)

37. Portugal 🇵🇹

2021 - Love is On My Side // The Black Mamba

38. Romania 🇷🇴

2010 - Playing With Fire // Paula Seling + Ovi

39. Russia 🇷🇺

2016 - You are the Only One // Sergey Lazarev

(Listen I’m a Sergey Lazarev stan first and human second. Between 2016 and 2018 I almost exclusively listened to his back catalogue and nothing else)

40. San Marino 🇸🇲

(Underrated country fr no one gets them like I do so they also get a top three)

2022 - Stripper // Achille Lauro

2021 - Adrenalina // Senhit + Flo-Rida

2019 - Say Na Na Na // Serhat

41. Serbia 🇷🇸

2023 - Samo Mi Se Spava // Luke Black

- Also not counting Serbia and Montenegro because they don’t have an emoji flag and they only participated twice -

42. Slovakia 🇸🇰

2010 - Horehronie // Kristina Pelakova

43. Slovenia 🇸🇮

2023 - Carpe Diem // Joker Out

44. Spain 🇪🇸

2019 - La Venda // Miki

(When I say this song was robbed I mean it. One of the biggest injustices faced in Eurovision was Miki coming 22nd)

45. Sweden 🇸🇪

(Sweden get a top three because they’re Sweden… they always slay)

2015 - Heroes // Måns Zelmerlöw

2012 - Euphoria // Loreen

2017 - I Can’t Go On // Robin Bengtsson

46. Switzerland 🇨🇭

2021 - Tout l'Univers // Gjon’s Tears

47. Türkiye 🇹🇷

2010 - We Could Be The Same // maNga

(Türkiye come back we miss you!!)

48. Ukraine 🇺🇦

(Another slay country so here’s a top three)

2018 - Under the Ladder // MELOVIN

2007 - Dancing Lasha Tumbai // Verka Serduchka

2021 - Shum // Go_A

49. United Kingdom 🇬🇧

(In the name of patriotism, of which I have very little, let’s do a top five + an honourable mention)

2012 - Love Will Set You Free // Engelbert Humperdinck

2022 - SPACE MAN // Sam Ryder

1981 - Making Your Mind Up // Buck’s Fizz

1968 - Congratulations // Cliff Richard

1976 - Save Your Kisses for Me // Brotherhood of Man

+ my honourable mention, Freaks // Jordan Clarke which should have been our song for 2019 but the British general public have no taste. I firmly believe this is why they no longer trust us to hold a national selection anymore lol

50. Yugoslavia *insert flag here*

1989 - Rock Me // Riva

(Basic choice I know, to pick their only winning song, but it slaps)

And that’s everyone!! Feel free to judge me hard for my tastes lol 😂

[tanglewoodpetz]

Locations - Pt 6, and Pts 5+6

We're closing in to the end of the project. We've got 3 of our four 6th gen pups. But let's not get ahead of ourselves.

Part 6 ended with Dogil, Dyfrdwy, and Estonia

I got icy eyes! And I don't know how to pronounce the Welsh name. Heck, I'm having trouble spelling it and have to look back to my notes repeatedly, lol!

Estonia and Everest gave me lots of colorful pups, but I went with a pup that has a trait I haven't kept yet, mutated eyelids. And they don't even match his coat color!

Meet Frankestein!

He's spotless, and the dark brown lids fit well enough with his cherry coat, I think.

[hetaliashitpostingftw]

HETALIA OFFICE MASTERPOST

Lol you know The Office? Its good but what if it was like,,, H e t a l i a?

ALLIES

America: Baaaaasically Michael from The Office. He likes leading and cares about the team, but can be a little... out of hand... sometimes. Canada: He sits in the corner and no one knows he’s there, but he’s always pulling his weight in projects. China: Always calling for tech support. Always. It annoys the heck out of whomever’s sitting next to him. France: Is the one who “accidentally” sends an email around to the people at the office which has “inappropriate” content.  England: Getting up in arms because either America’s being incompetent or he’s fed up with France’s nonsense. Russia: “It’d be a shame if something were to happen, da?” (he doesn’t work well with other people, too many HR complaints).

AXIS

Germany: He isn’t the boss but he is the annoying backseat driver who isn’t even second in command. Italy: “Lets go to a ✨𝒌𝒂𝒓𝒂𝒐𝒌𝒆 𝒃𝒂𝒓✨ after all this guys and someone else can pay!!!11!!” Japan: Forgets about the work and is watching anime with his screens turned away from everyone else.

BALTICS

Estonia: Guess who’s 𝓣𝓮𝓬𝓱 𝓢𝓾𝓹𝓹𝓸𝓻𝓽 👁️ 👄 👁️ Lithuania: "Okay you want me to do that? I’ll do it just dont fire me pls dont” Latvia:"Hey boss what about the fact that you’re doing it wrong?”

EASTERN EUROPE

Romania: Actually does the work but doesn’t tell anyone when he’s done so he can sneak off and do whatever Bulgaria: Microsoft paint obsessed Ukraine: Cares for everyone like the epic mom friend she is Belarus: She doesn’t work there. She’s just there. And so far no one’s had balls enough to tell her to go.

MEDITERRANEAN EUROPE

Spain: "Hey guys I know you didn’t ask but ill make you all lunch! It’s going to be pasta! For the fifteenth day in a row!” Romano: RAGEWORKRAGEWORKRAGEWORKRAGEWORK- Greece: That one person with the “hang in there bby” poster as well as countless cat photos in frames. He also does his work but he’s real quiet about it. Turkey: Likes to hang out by the water cooler and gossip. Cyprus: Best friends with Greece but works surprisingly well with Bulgaria (or, he does, after an incident of him stealing his yogurt). Vatican City: Keeps a bible with him but follows most things he’s told to do. Monaco: She’s a seceratary but only because she’s able to get out of more work that way.

NORDIC EUROPE

Denmark: Keeps a little box of “creativity legos” on his desk which he plays with. He works in Human Resources and loves it. Sweden: Takes orders for the company’s product and is very organized. Keeps a little picture of his family on his desk which he’ll talk to anyone about. Finland: Has his headphones on all the time and sCrEams at anyone who dare interrupt his work.��He also coordinates all of the holidays around the office, as well as parties. Norway: He has a thing for the cute guy in HR and keeps trying to meet him “causally” over by the water cooler. Has a plasma ball on his desk because it looks cool. Iceland: His brother got him an unpaid internship (which he hates) and so he spends a lot of time complaining and texting Norway angry gifs while he goes and hangs out with others his age in the breakroom.

LOW COUNTRIES

Belgium: Brings in cookies for everyone every Monday.  Netherlands: Works with Sweden and the two of them have desks next to each other. He helps Sweden when he’s having a prank war with Denmark. Luxembourg: Some higher-up executive who comes down every once in a while to flaunt his awesome-ness and dole out orders.

CENTRAL EUROPE

Austria: Plays classical music off his computer but without earbuds b/c he doesn’t know how. He’s low-key annoying but doesn’t know it. Slovakia: Has the coolest mousepad ever. He also contributes a substantial amount to most meetings. Czechia: Set her space up to be the neatest in the office. She’s one of the more successful members. Hungary: Made a pinterest board of house ideas in her spare time which she makes Austria look at. She doesn’t really care about the work, she’s just there. Switzerland: Financials. He also calls home at 12pm every day to check in on his sister and make sure everything’s okay.  Poland: Decorated the fuck out of his cubicle. Prussia: Has a whole collection of weird-ass ties which he switches. Some say he’s never worn the same one twice!

ASIA

Hong Kong: Also interning, but he doesn’t hate it and takes it instead as an opportunity to take photos of people and make them either cursed or into memes. Macau: Is the second-in-command in the office and basically controls everything since america isn’t great at it. South Korea: Water cooler? He likes to hang out with Turkey. Thailand: Keeps a cool and ornate whiteboard which he likes to take notes on. Vietnam: “What do you mean I have to work with someone else?!?!?!” Taiwan: She works under Denmark in human resources and often has to resolve conflicts. India: Sometimes invites Vietnam to play chess with him online on their monitors.

AFRICA

Egypt: Stole some of Denmark’s legos without his knowledge so he could build too. He’s pretty bored even though he does everything. Seychelles: Sits by the window and doesn’t get her work done since she’s distracted. Cameroon: Playing pranks on Australia when he gets bored, mostly after he’s finished his work.

OCEANIA + CARIBBEAN

Australia: “OY MATE SO YA WANT TO FOIGHT??!!” (he’s on for that prank war) New Zealand: Sits next to Cyprus and sometimes falls asleep, but Cyprus thinks he’s *kinda* cute and doesn’t wake him. Other than that, he’s really good at running meetings. Cuba: Brings fancy chocolates or other things which he takes out to share with special people on special occasions. He’s pretty nonchalant but comes off as intimidating for some.

[yourdarlingfaux]

lol more asks cuz why not

(u dont have to answer if u dont wanna but idk u did say multiple are okay)

Is there a ship you no longer ship and why?

rant about any ship you love but feel like you don't talk about enough

(ok this aren't listed question) is there any pairing you think is better as a friendship?

if you could rate all your hetalia ships from 1- how ever many you have( 1 being your favourite) what would that list look like?

if you could go to the wedding of one of your ships- which ship would it be? and why

which ship is the most chaotic?

what would your ships be like as parents?(you can do one ship if you want or mulitiple)

anddddddddddddd

give a description of your ship/ships in a nutshell, so like what is their dynamic basically like

oof sorry about so many askssss

l do be curious tho

Dude omg please don't be sorry look you are SPOILING ME with these thank you very much I crave attention lmao

⚜ Is there a ship I no longer ship? Why?

Hm.... there’s none that I can think of! So if I ever dropped shipping something it’s probably because I forgot! :p

I would be putting FrUK/USUK here but I was never really avid about them to be no longer shipped and I still like them on occasion

⚜ Rant about any ship I love but feel like you don't talk about enough

Spaus!!!!!! Spain and Austria!!!! I talk about Fraus but Spaus??? Nationverse Spaus??? They had the same thing going except.. a very different energy. These are two men who married while still trying to find where they fit in the world, they fought wars against each other, they were not perfect in any way, but they were husbands, and they always respected each other as such. Human AUs, same thing, they weren’t perfect, they had to grow so much to get to where they are, and often times they'd go DAYS without speaking to each other, but they'd still sit down and chat with their music, Spain on the guitar and Austria on the piano, sometimes they wouldn't play long, but just a few notes and strums exchanged served as a reminder that when they're ready to talk again, they're both ready for each other

Omg wait brain juice FLOWING Hungary x Belgium.... it’s always been hard for me to like them bc of the ship name (for some reason??) but I’ve been thinking about it and I just... wow...... Horse knight woman(? Woman debatable) and a woman who smells like chocolate :) mm.. that’s a vibe

Also I have very very VERY few Ideas on this but Belarus x Seychelles SLAPS in the most positive way 

⚜ Is there any pairing you think is better as a friendship?

Hmm, I’m gonna have to go with USA x N. Italy!! I love them together a lot but I have a hard time seeing them actually being in a romantic relationship :0

Also Estonia x Finland! I think they’re good friends! MAybe tried some intimate stuff in the past but Finland moved on from that and Estonia, in my hc, discovered he’s hetero/aro ace! Which in this case just means Ukraine pretty--

⚜ Rating all my favorite 2p/Hetalia ships from 1-5 because I have way too many ;,)

Hetalia ships in order of how much feeling I have for them when I look at the list

France x Austria

France x Russia

France x Turkey (gee haha I wonder who my favorite character is)

Cuba x Canada

Germany x England (more in human aus tho :) )

Honorable mention!: Romania x Prussia

Honorable mention #2!: Netherlands x Canada

Fav 2p ships in order of how often I think of/write for them

2p France x 2p Austria (wow! shocking!)

2p Sweden x 2p Finland

2p Germania x 2p Ancient Rome

2p Russia x 2p China

2p Germany x 2p Italy

Honorable mention #3!: 2p Egypt x 2p Turkey x 2p Greece [ETG trio]

⚜ If you could go to the wedding of one of your ships- which ship would it be? and why

2p Ancient Greece and 2p Ancient India! I’ve never written them ever and 2p Ancient India is barely a figment of a character but holy shit!!! They would have an amazing wedding!!! No expenses spared and absolutely extravagant!

Or 2pSufin! Cool wedding! Small and cozy because they both have sensory processing issues and it’d just be a very comfortable place to be! :)

⚜ Which ship/s are the most chaotic?

Romania x Prussia (if you can’t imagine why this would be.... I don’t know what to tell you)

Prussia x England (two tired overworked punks)

2p Greece x 2p Japan (half their dates prob consist of running from p!gs for being caught spray painting places that are queerphobic or xenophobic and the others are spent in libraries and museums)

2p Italy x 2p HRE (two kids who don’t know what emotional regulation is)

⚜ What would my ships be like as parents?

Ok! I’ll start out with the ones that I’ve already given children :)

2p Ancient Greece and 2p Ancient Rome (Famous AU): They..... they really tried... they tried so hard to work out their issues for the grandkids, but of course in the end that never works.. they raised the Italy brothers after an accident happened that left them as orphans. Eventually, Melita did leave Cassius, but she also left the grandkids to be looked after by him, and she continued to be absent until the kids were in there mid-20's. Cassius tried his best with what he had, but his best wasn't healthy and was too much self projection because he didn't want them to be hurt as he was, but it backfired, it backfired a lot.

2p Germania and 2p Ancient Rome (Famous AU): Cassius was there to help Berinhart help raise Roland the moment Roland was turned over to Ber's custody, like, that very night. Though Cassius wasn't always present because he was still "with Melita" at that time, but once he was responsible for his own grandchildren, that did start changing in "getting the kids together for socializing" so they could start seeing each other more. Berinhart is a good parent, well rounded and knows how to motivate positively for even the most mundane things

2p Sweden and 2p Finland (most AUs): They adopted two kids: Jack (2pSealand) and Kurt (2pLadonia). Tobbe’s not the best with getting along with children but he’ll be damned if he’s not going to try his best to be with Vaito to raise them with him. Tobbe makes the meals and teaches them to cook and how to clean up after themselves and Vaito teaches them how to clean up bigger messes so Tobbe doesn't have to look at them. Kurt and Jack are in good hands :)

2p France and 2p Austria (however this is only in my Genshin Impact/2ptalia crossover au): François isn’t really interested in a kid of his own and didn't know Roland "had" a kid until he went back to Roland's hometown with him, it's not that Roland didn't talk about Nikki, it's that he never mentioned that he was actually the one raising them until Roland left to travel the world, which left Nikki with Berinhart. François is glad he doesn't have a complete parental role with Nikki but he will fight tooth and nail if harm ever falls on them. And Roland loved taking care of Nikki because they're a founding just as he is but he just didn't feel like he was prepared or good enough to be a good parent for them.

⚜ A description of my ship/s in a nutshell / My ship dynamics in a nutshell

I think I have a wide range of ship dynamics ranging from:

Total of 1 braincell combined and they share it like the three fates in Disney's Hercules (Prussia x America namely)

Socially stunted smol and socially stunted tol

Classy gossip partners apparently

Homophobic bigot because of Unresolved Catholic Trauma and woman who thinks that All woman are bisexual (too niche? It's 2pRome x 2pAncient Greece in human AUs)

I have too many tbh, I don't prefer one type of ship over another so I really can't put all of them here-

Person who's experienced way too much trauma at a young age x person who had a lot of different trauma at a young age and are doing their best to help each other recover (2p France x 2p Austria)

[tvwriteups]

Notes as they happened.  I might do more general commentary later. (Might also not.)

France, Italy, and Spain in the last group. Hmm.

I watched the SFs on my laptop. I’m watching the grand final on a large screen TV with surround sound.

Malta

Well, getting the party started. I don’t think she’s a particularly strong singer.

Albania

A much, much, much better performance here than in the SF.

My only criticism is her walk to the front of the stage - needed more direction for that. It kind of felt like she did that too casually.

Czech Republic

This song just bores me.

I give them credit for vibrant colors.

But I take that away because I hate camera tricks. I’m more annoyed the second time around.

Germany

I’m expecting this to suck.

Not sure “I’m tired” are the best words to start with.

I don’t like the start but...it kind of gets better. The bridge of the song is awkward.

Ugh, the “sister” part is awful. The music builds to try to make this song more dramatic but...

I mean, not Lithuania-bad but almost. I haven’t heard four of the songs but I’m already predicting this for last.

Russia

I really don’t like this song at all. It tries too hard.

It doesn’t help that all I’m thinking of is when Sergey competed last time.

I wonder how many people watching this right now are thinking the same thing.

Denmark

Is it makeup or is she not getting enough sleep? Not as fun as the first time.

San Marino

Says a lot about this year that this is a middle-of-the-pack song.

I actually love that these guys love being here. They’re having fun.

North Macedonia

I’m just not a fan of this song. It gets repetitive very quickly. (I can’t believe that’s a criticism I’m lobbing at it after watching the “na na na” song.)

She does better with the belting than the lower register stuff.

Sweden

He started really well. I was loving his voice. But...

I don’t know. I like parts of the song but not altogether? It just kind of gets too busy for me at the end.

Slovenia

I really like the chorus of the song. It’s weird that it holds my attention for how little is happening on the stage.

Cyprus

Either they’re better in the final or this just plays different on a big screen.

You know, I think it’s that I don’t like it being played sexy. I think it would’ve worked better for me if it was played for “fun.”

The Netherlands

I hate the staging so much. Would’ve worked better with him standing at a microphone. Does he not have stage presence? Is that why he has to hide behind a piano that they don’t even show him mime-playing?

Light ball of randomness. Not really a fan of sad songs winning...if this wins.

Greece

This song feels like someone Frankensteined pieces of three different songs together. This song is weird, the presentation weirder but it’s holding my attention.

I’m laughing.

Those ribbons. Those strong, indifferent ribbons.

Israel

Don’t care for the video screen presentation.

Don’t care for the song.

Is the crowd singing along?

Bored.

That ending is just weird to me.

Norway

Ha ha!

Seriously, no way this guy is straight.

This is the most Eurovision song of the year. The beat carries the song and the singers just go for it. It’s admirable. I love them!

UK

Even your postcard is lame.

Not sure that light is even synced right.

I don’t like his voice on the verses.

Swedish guy took the better song for himself. So repetitive.

One of the backing singers has more charisma.

This is as bad as the Belgian entry.

Gosh, North Macedonia chick’s eyes look weary.

Serhat is a dentist?!

Iceland

I don’t understand how something can be this weird and not hold my attention.

Estonia

I hate the chorus.

Oops, camerawork.

So many leather jackets this year.

I hate the visual effects.

Belarus

They really brought the dancers.

I spent this second watch more or less watching the dancers. More enjoyable that way.

Azerbaijan

Crowd likes this for some reason.

Hate the lyrics.

This vocalizing part is ... ugh, effects.

France

This was a lot better than I was expecting. Good performance. (Granted, I had low expectations.)

Italy

You sure got the crappiest location for your dance.  Yeah, shipping container port.

I can’t really follow the song. It’s not bad. It’s just very different.

Sincere.

Kind of reminds me of that time Hungary sent that domestic violence song.

Not sure it’s a one-listen song.

Serbia

I forgot this song had made it through.

She can’t go near an MRI machine.

Switzerland

Crowd just roared for this one.

Oh, this is also a very Eurovision song.

There’s nothing about their dancing that’s remotely dirty.

I don’t really think he’s all that compelling dancing in isolation. He needs those backing dancers to make him look good

Australia

Time for this weirdness.

Can’t wait to see the discrepancy between jury votes and televoting.

I still hate this. The only part of this song I like is the bridge.

Maybe I’d be more impressed if I didn’t know someone who sings opera.

Spain

I love that Spain is trying.

This is a good performance.

This song is too fast though.

Former Eurovision Contestants

Conchita Wurst performing “Heroes”

I adore Mans but I think I prefer Conchita singing his song.

Mans performing Fuego; not a fan of this rendition

Eleni gets “Dancing Lasha Tumbai” (or whatever the hell it is)

There’s more dirty dancing here than the Swiss song.

Verka gets “Toy”

The gold and silver lame!

Those backing dancers in those outfits really make this act for me.

I think this was a good way of getting these songs back in while not feeling too familiar and repetitive.

Hallelujah!

This year:

No really good song.

No outstanding voice.

No ridiculously charismatic performer.

Madonna Interview:

Awkward interview with Madonna.

Madonna totally comes off like a mom.

I mean that mom when you’re a pre-teen and you’re trying to distance yourself.

The Idan Raichel Project

Just not my kind of music

Eh.

Cuervo interview

Guy don’t know what ESC is

They need to cut this interview before he backs himself into a corner

The mentalist again

This has to be rehearsed. Seriously.

Netta

Not into this.

Now I understand bringing in Madonna

Norway made me smile the most. I’d vote for Norway.

I think the crowd really loved Switzerland.

Madonna’s Performance:

I’m so used to Madonna lip-syncing so this is weird for me.

I’m underwhelmed by Madonna.  First time I’ve ever written that in my life.

This is why she lip-syncs. But, like, why the eye-patch? That can’t be good for the depth perception.

And now they’re closing voting.

I don’t think pre-recorded Gal Gadot should qualify as having Gal Gadot on your show.

Does Gal Godot need lighting this soft?

Jan Ola Sand

I wonder if Russia hacked the televoting.

Juries

Portugal gives 12 points to the Netherlands

Azerbaijan -> Russia

Malta goes for Italy

North Macedonia -> Italy (this one surprised me)

San Marino -> Italy

Nederlands -> Sweden

Montenegro -> Serbia (duh)

Estonia ->r Sweden

Poland -> Australia 

Norway (Alex Rybak) -> Czech Republic? Really?

Spain -> Sweden

Austria -> North Macedonia

UK -> North Macedonia

Italy -> Denmark

Albania -> North Macedonia

Hungary -> Czech Republic

Moldova -> North Macedonia

Ireland -> Sweden

Belarus -> Israel

Armenia (Aram! He has way more Personality here than when he performed.) -> Sweden

Romania -> Australia

Cyprus -> Greece and cue the groaning

Green room

Back to juries:

Australia (Not the old Asian lady) -> Sweden (Another reason why I want Australia kicked out)

Russia -> Azerbaijan (duh)

Germany -> Italy. Oh good.

Can’t wait to see how many public votes Iceland gets.

Belgium -> Italy

Sweden (Eric Saade) -> Netherlands

Croatia -> Italy

Lithuania -> the Netherlands

Serbia -> North Macedonia

Iceland -> Sweden

Georgia -> Czech Republic

Greece -> Cyprus. Boos. LOL

Latvia -> the Netherlands

Czech Republic -> Sweden

Denmark (Rasmussen) -> Sweden

France -> The Netherlands

Finland -> Sweden

Switzerland -> North Macedonia

Slovenia -> Czech Republic

Israel -> the Netherlands

How do juries work? Is there lobbying that goes on behind the scenes? Are people just happy that FYROM got a real name now? Is the singer just a really nice and lovely person who built up a lot of goodwill the first time she competed? Was the jury presentation THAT MUCH BETTER than either performance I saw?

Now time for public vote where we see Norway cleanup LOL

I actually want Sweden to win because Petra.

This show feels so long.

Sweden green room.  More Jan Ola Sand

Reverse order points:

Oh, this is different reveal order. Usually they did least to most.

Ouch UK.  Ouch!

Predicted that with Germany! I’d rather be UK in last with getting at least 3 public votes than finishing where Germany did with ZERO from the public.

Norway gets 291 points!!!  In the lead!!!

Iceland with 186 points!

France gets 38 points.

Russia got 244 points and the lead.

Switzerland got 212 points

Czech Republic got 7 points ...... totally opposite the jury. muahahaha

Australia 131 points

Azerbaijan gets 100

Italy gets 253 and the lead

Netherlands 261 points and the lead.

North Macedonia 58 points. Not surprising.

Sweden 93

[moonprincess92]

The Rebelcaptain Food Travel AU round robin

What the hell is the Rebelcaptain Food Travel AU Round Robin?  Basically, this all started with a video of Diego Luna eating stuff and naturally, our brains just went to ‘rebelcaptain food travel au’. Jaded made a moodboard for it and @sambargestuff made the comment that it would be cool if different writers from all over the world in the fandom came together to write this story, since we are from so many different places, and we all apparently took to this idea with gusto, hahahahha. 

So what is this fic gonna be about?  Cassian is a famous food/cooking show presentor about to film a new show that showcases food from around all of Europe. Jyn is a freelance camera operator who gets offered the job to film this show last minute after their usual camera person can’t make it. 

Together they, along with their crew, travel around Europe for 3 & 1/2 months filming episodes based around all the different countries (AND MAYBE THEY FALL IN LOVE A LITTLE ALONG THE WAY, EEYYYYYYY)  

Sounds cool, but how is writing this fic going to work?  Basically, each chapter will be based around one city and/or country in Europe. A different author will write each one. I will write the first chapter that is set in London, England and if absolutely no one else wants to take a crack at it, I will also write the last one. 

Sounds cool as, how do I sign up?  Just let me know! Reblog this and add, reply, send me a msg, whatever you want just tell me what country/city you would like to write about. I will collect everyone’s responses to see whether there’s still interest in this idea and make a list. Then, we’ll go from there!

I want to do this, but I know nothing about food :(  It’s ok, you can always base your chapter more about the country, or the relationships, or the funny comments the show gets on Youtube, or anything else really. 

But I’m from X country and someone’s already doing that one :(  It’s ok, we can have six Germany chapters and zero Croatian, it’s totally fine if someone is already doing a country you’re interested in! 

I want to write about X country but I’m not actually from there :(  It’s ok, so long as you are comfortable writing about whatever country you want to pick. The whole idea of this is that people who are familiar with somewhere get to write about what they know, so this fic will hopefully feel authentic and realistic! I mean, maybe don’t write about Greece if you’ve never been there, don’t know anyone from there and aren’t familiar with Greek food, but perhaps you lived a year abroad in Romania once? Use good judgement and you should be fine. 

I’m from America/Asia/Oceania/Africa and don’t feel comfortable writing about Europe :(  It’s also ok! If anyone wants to we could always write a sequel based in other areas of the world! I’d love to be able to include absolutely anyone who wants to do this. For simplicity and organisation’s sake, we’re going to start with Europe, but there’s no telling where this could go in the future. 

Are there rules? Deadlines? Exactly how committed to this do I have to be?  The idea is that this is a fun way of everyone being able to come together, so there’s not going to be too many rules and/or limitations, and definitely no deadlines. We want to keep things as light and no pressure as possible. There will simply be a set of guidelines to give everyone a clear sense of what we hope to achieve with this project, which I’ll put in a seperate post 

Blah, blah, shut up Jordan, just give me the list of countries already  FINE lol, list of potential countries in the order that they’d be written in are:  England (story starts here)  Ireland/Scotland/Wales  France  Belguim  Netherlands  Germany  Denmark/all the Scandinavia  Czech Republic  Poland  Eastern Europe (Lithuania/Estonia//Ukraine/etc)  Southern Europe (Romania/Bulgaria/Croatia/etc)  Greece  Hungary  Austria  Italy  Switzerland  Maybe Spain and Portugal?  End of the story back in England! 

This list is not exclusive. We can add/take away countries as needed. Again, if more than one person wants to write about a particular country, maybe we can organise it as each does a different city there. 

Anyway, I think that’s enough info for one post. Again, for the guidelines I’ll link to the other post. I’m also going to tag some people who I believe have expressed interest in this in the past. 

Again, if you are potentially interested in being a part of this, please reblog & add or reply which country and/or city you’d like to do!!!!! 

Thanks so much guys xoxo 

Tagging: @ibonekoen, @k-lara7, @pingou7, @cornholius, @redstyxsora, @imsfire2, @scruffyhappaboreherder, @ruby-red-inky-blue, @thenewleeland, @polynesianhermione, @firefeufuego, @rinsantago, @rxbxlcaptain, @finns-roses, @the-space-narwhal

[kyuubikun]

tagged by @theselkiemaiden (who has an A+++ url, tbh)

•Name: Courtney

•Nicknames: lamp shade....kyuu...Q....

•Gender: female 

•Height: 5'8″~

•Sexuality: lesbian but probably panromantic....idk man

•Hogwarts House: i took the test once but i forgot??

•Favorite Color: silver...

•Favorite Animal: TRICO!!

•Time Right Now: time for bed

•Cat or Dog Person: im very low key and afraid of anything having to depend on me and im used to cats but really i just want everyone to love me

•Favorite Fictional Character: mmmmmmmnnnn

•Number of Blankets usually 2

•Favorite Singer/Band: i tend not to get suck on one or the other but I love anything Origa or Josh Groban or by Joe Hisashi

•Dream Trip: Back to the homeland! Estonia!!

•Dream Job: I wanna work on traditional animation projects

•When Blog Created: oh wow idk...2011/12?? •Current Number of Followers: 100 or 1000 maybe but probably not 10000

•Why Did You Make This Tumblr: everyone was migrating from DA //shrugs/

•Why Did You Pick Your URL: was neopets name then DA name so....ehh i hate it lol

Tag 20 people: ???

@weeaboosupreme, @artistic-alien, @sugapieissofly, @kkelenca, @ai-kae, @looz-y

[ao3feed-spamano]

Love Bites

read it on the AO3 at https://ift.tt/2OY14FG

by TheRealCheese34

Alfred and Ivan have rivals since first grade, but when Alfred screws up, they wind up practically best friends. As you can imagine, Alfred is a bit flustered, especially since he just figured out his crush on Ivan. Now, they're stuck doing a project together, and Ivan is just way too nice. Alfred can barely contain himself at this point. Poor guy.

 I have no idea what I'm doing sorry

Words: 5613, Chapters: 2/2, Language: English

Fandoms: Hetalia: Axis Powers

Rating: General Audiences

Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings

Categories: M/M

Characters: America (Hetalia), Prussia (Hetalia), Russia (Hetalia), Canada (Hetalia), Cuba (Hetalia), England (Hetalia), France (Hetalia), Japan (Hetalia), Greece (Hetalia), Lithuania (Hetalia), Poland (Hetalia), Germany (Hetalia), North Italy (Hetalia), South Italy (Hetalia), Austria (Hetalia), Hungary (Hetalia), Spain (Hetalia), Latvia (Hetalia), Estonia (Hetalia), Ukraine (Hetalia), Belarus (Hetalia)

Relationships: America/Russia (Hetalia), Canada/Cuba (Hetalia), England/France (Hetalia), Greece/Japan (Hetalia), Lithuania/Poland (Hetalia), Germany/North Italy (Hetalia), Austria/Prussia (Hetalia), South Italy/Spain (Hetalia)

Additional Tags: Alternate Universe - Middle School, Crushes, Christmas, Sleepovers, help me i'm dying, first fic I'm sorry, a couple people don't really show up much sorry, centered around America, Russia is a perfect bean, guess I should mention that he's kinda the bottom, no smut tho, lol sorry

read it on the AO3 at https://ift.tt/2OY14FG

[rasmuskuber2year]

Evaluation

For this project i had an amazing opportunity  to make a music video for one of the most well known rappers in Estonia, Bad Art. Offer came through my brother who have been working with Bad Art for last 1-2 years. Making very visually pleasing videos for the artist. I really wanted to be part of Bad Art’s new comeback. He hasn’t been on Estonian music radar that much in last 2 years but within that 2 years he’s slowly been coming back. And now 5.March he will release he’s full album which is mostly designed and shot by my brother (visual sides*). So now i can be part of this journey as well! 

The idea was to mix live action footage with motion graphics typography/lyrics. Since my brother had shot the rough video in studio against black background, footage was already taken care of. Since my brother knows how to hold a clean and simple look, video had to be similar. Usually me and my brother can’t work together since he sometimes doesn’t know how to give me feedback so i wouldn’t take it as offense etc. Hence him and i are very self critical about our work! We managed to get over that barrier and we work together much smoother now!

My brother have helped a lot with design decisions and feedback during this project! The time that i’m writing this, music video isn’t 100% complete since client deadline is 5.March and i just couldn’t complete it for University deadline because i also helped Salem with music video and Advanced Compositing was very heavy project as well.

About other music video that i shot for Salem. One night i saw Salem and Bailey in Uni and asked what you up to, do you need any help with planning or/and completing it? They both said yes sure, we need some help. So i helped them from planning, filming to editing. I SHOULD NOT HAVE edited any of this projects video because my aim was on other music video. But as i’m writing this i have been also editing that music video for Bailey because there are clearly some miss communication or broken promises from various sides! That took a lot of my own time! 1 whole day for filming the video, many nights talking with Bailey and Salem, asking whats going on? When do you want my help etc. As far as i know this project has been dragging since January! In the end i just fu*king felt sorry for Bailey, i saw the potential in her and in that song. So i wanted to give everything from my side to make her first music video best as i can! I just can’t start something and leave it when it’s not finished or sh*t (lol i just did, my own project...) But anyway, i wanted all the best for both of them. And i ended up with 2 projects that are both 50% done... On the bright side i got more experience shooting with Movi and C300. I think some of the shots came out as absolute gold! And i made new friend/contact - Bailey. She seemed very satisfied with my work and hopefully we can work together in the future, on even bigger projects.

In addition to already doing 2 projects. I also helped Charlotte from 3rd year on our Music video Deadline day. This shoot was well planned and she knew what she wanted from it. Luckily she was very open for my suggestions as well and mixed them together, we got some ABSOLUTE BANGERS!!! And massive props to everyone involved especially DANCER, he was PURE FIRE!

Sh*t, that was a long evaluation...

[stilinthehetaliafandom]

Hetalia fanfiction chapter 3

There was a glossy screen on the opposite side of the wall from the bed Italy was resting on. If you looked at the sleeping Italy you would see a colorful ball hovering over his head. It was flickering and projecting images onto the glossy screen, which came alive with the vibrant colors from the ball. These colors formed to make images. The 2p!countries had clear images, even colored, of all of the memories inside Italy’s head. 2p!Norway was holding something that resembled a TV remote, but of course it was colored beautifully with all the brightest colors one could think of. One by one, the other 2p!countries came into the room, some amazed by the color everywhere and some disgusted, a few confused.

“What is this Italy?” 2p!Germany looks at the country, then glances at the screen. It was currently showing a small man who was chasing the viewer shouting about “becoming part of the Roman empire.”

“This is a projection of my doppelganger memories. These are some memories from his childhood. Looks like he actually fell in love with this realm’s Holy Roman Empire.” 2p!Italy indicated to the screen. Sure enough, the viewer had their lips pressed to the other country. 2p!Italy looks utterly disgusted. “I killed Holy Roman Empire because he was starting to annoy, always chasing me around shouting some nonsense about how I made the empire fall apart or some **** like that. My doppelganger is pathetic.” Suddenly, 2p!Romano interjects out of nowhere.

“Hey is that me?!”He looks at a chibi-romano, who had just lost interest in his younger brother and had walked off to a cheerful Spaniard. Upon seeing his doppelganger, (1p!Spain)for the first time, 2p!Spain also replicated the disgusted look 2p!Italy had earlier.

“Norway, can you fast forward to more recent times? This doppelganger probably never even interacted with my doppelganger when he was a child. Right Russia?” 2p!France steps forward, looking at the remote-control device in 2p!Norway’s hand. 2p!Russia nods with 2p!France’s suggestion.

“Yeah I think we have seen enough of this guy’s childhood.” 2p!Norway smiles happily.

“Of course.” 2p!Norway chants some enchantments and shakes the remote. The screen shifts to a world meeting.

“Alrighty then! Let’s start the World conference! Let’s resolve problems all over the world one by one! Even if it’s a tough problem, if we work together, I’m sure things’ll turn out okay! Well then, I’ll go first! About that whole global warming thing everyone is talking about I think we’ll be okay if we create a huge hero and have him protect the Earth. By the way, no one is allowed to disagree okay?” America speaks on the screen. 2p!America realizes this man was his doppelganger and is appalled by just how stupid his idea was. If it was possible to look more annoyed at the mention of his counterpart then that is what happened to the 2p! as this first impression was not quite a good one.

“I agree with America....”

“Man up! Tell us what you think!” After the on-screen Switzerland scolds Japan, 2p!Japan almost nods with him, already judging his 1p.

“I’m against it. I can't agree with such an unrealistic suggestion.” 2p!England recognizes his counterpart and tries to memorize his look, face, demeanor, even the tea he was holding. Without realising it, he was judging his 1p from just a few words and actions he had done on screen.

“Then I shall have to disagree with both England and America!” 2p!France looks at the projection of his 1p on the screen, confused as to why he was on such strange terms with England and America

“Which is it then?!” The 3 on-screen countries begin to argue, ranging from topics like the “queen’s English” and the statue of liberty, earning a collective facepalm from the 2p!countries.

“Again? You guys never grow up. Be a little more mature. I’ll give you these snacks. Have some and calm down.” 2p!China says nothing while watching his counterpart, merely staring and trying to memorize features akin to the way 2p!England had done earlier.

“Don’t want them.”

“Say Russia, aren’t you gonna say something?They’ll stop fighting if you go over and step in.” 2p!Spain rolls his eyes at his 1ps’ cheerful and positive words, short as they were.

“What? Me? I wanna see Lithuania get in big trouble, then cry to me for help.” 2p!Lithuania dislikes his 1ps fear of Russia, and 2p!Russia is disapproving towards his own 1p.

“Then Latvia will be right behind.” 2p!Latvia watches his crying, nervous 1p and nearly vomits in disgust. He decided right in that instance he hated his 1p, no questions asked.

“You shouldn’t pick on the weak, Mr Russia.” 2p!Estonia doesn’t realize his 1p was onscreen and misses it.

“Stop right there. If you get any closer to Lithuania I’ll whip out the Poland Rule on you and make Warsaw your capital.” 2p!Poland doesn’t say anything about his 1p but notes that 2p!Lithuania smiles at 1p Poland’s kindness.

A sleeping Greece shows up on screen. 2p!Greece shakes his head at how his counterpart could sleep so soundly during such a chaotic meeting. The onscreen chaos continues, America asking if there were any hamburgers and England and France continuing to fight, with China saying “Ai-yah they don’t need me!” Then, out of nowhere…

“That’s enough all of you!” 2p!Germany jumps at his 1p’s loud and serious voice, then looks a bit annoyed. The onscreen Germany continues to speak.

“Germany?” A confused England and France look at Germany's way.

“This conference is to resolve problems so why are we creating more? At this rate we will be repeating the dancing congress. We should calm down and discuss these matters. If you want to say something, first show clear and accurate data! And then talk! You’ll have 8 minutes to talk. That’s a strict rule. Now if you want to talk, raise your hand, but do so in a way that does not mock my countries’ past.” The hand of the viewer goes up. Germany gives the affirmation to speak, and Italy does so, saying his iconic:

“PASTA!”

Yes i did a reaction fic in a way, of the 2ps reacting to the first episode lol. I hoped you liked it.

[borisbubbles]

ESC 2021 Preshow: 08. France

Barbara Pravi - “Voilà”

Autoqualifier

France going from 3rd last on my ranking / likely last place in the finale to 8th place in the ranking / probably top 3 in the Grand Final. 😍 WHAT A GLOW-UP.

So, “Voilà” is epic, obviously. Yeah I will skip the theatrics, each and every one of you know this song and we all know it’s probably the best French entry in ages. 

Funnily enough, I didn’t care for “Voilà” when I first heard it lmfao. It felt similar to the song Patricia Kaas went to Eurovision with and while “Et s’il faillait le faire” has its fans, I was never one of them. Worse, the internet immediately resorted to refering to “Voilà” as a “masterpiece” which is probably the pretentious statement you can make about Eurovision songs. Guys, it’s an Edith Piaf-inspired tribute act. Calm the eff down. Still, even at this early a stage I was instantly charmed by Barbara’s introspection and pluck even if I didn’t care for the music at first. After all, Barbara was the mastermind behind jesc HITS “Bim bam toi” and “J’imagine” and if she wants to bring a song that puts HER SELF at the forefront, she’s perfectly entitled to do so. About fucking time. On top of that, I thought the ending was sublime, even in studio version. “Why can’t the entire song be like that”, I thought. And then, E:CVQD arrived and Barbara SERVED, OUTSOLD, SLAYED, etc every superlative under the sun. 

So remember when I aired my critique regarding Gjon? “Tout l’Univers” is an “Objectively Strong” composition in that it employs music theory to conjure up a song that sounds impressive on first listen. But behind that academic skill lies virtually nothing of interest. I cannot connect with it beyond a base level because what does it tell me about Gjon or his story? Technique without a heart or a soul is merely pretense. But I suppose it can sound sophisticated to someone who doesn’t know what “sophistication” is. 

Barbara, however. Her personality just SPRINGS FORWARD on an approachable level from the first note. “Voilà”s’s technical expertise and Barbara’s own perfomance talents carry this vibe, this SERVE of personality, through the full three minutes without ever getting boring or tedious and they leave me craving for another listen. ALL OF THESE ARE AMAZING TRAITS IN A EUROVISION SONG. And this is just from the studio version, the live stage show makes it even better. 

So yeah, homeboy’s got his work cut out for him because if this is his competition he’ll have to graft hard for his victory.

NF Corner -  C’est Vous Qui Décidez

In what would become a running theme amidst countries this year, France led the charge in a personal project called #OperationForget2020, in which every trace of last year would be subsequently memory-holed. To acheive this, they revived their NF, gave it a new name and pretended it was ~The First NF of Its Format~ (so basically doing what Lithuania did last year when they rebranded Atranka into PiN).

INCIDENTALLY, this would also wind up the best NF of the year, pretty much by default because France had the most to win. Even though Barbara was the obvious winner from the instant the songs were revealed, the French had some excellent back-up options in their arsenal. Let’s rummage through them shall we?

LMK - “Magique”

R&B Trap wench <3 “Magique” starts off pretty and cute for fifteen seconds, before whiplashing hard into kick-ass tropical house territory. Her Slovene spirit mothers Raiven and Lea Sirk are so proud of her <3 She definitely deserved much better than the result she got (being NQ with the audience O_O), but lol it’s France, they ain’t NEVER crowning a sexually confident sassy woman, let’s not kid ourselves. 

Céphaz - “On a mangé le soleil”

This Hat God had me at that title. “We have eaten the sun” 😍😍😍😍. More songs should adopt a fatalistic environmental angle by using consumption-related metaphors à la “we’ve devoured out planet :burp:, MOAR”, and then set this suuuuper cynical and depressing text to an upbeat and optimistic soundtrack <3 The “Hey ya” tease of it all. 😍

Amui - “Maeva”

So cheerful it turns a surly cretin such as myself into a blundering mass of uwu. It’s like a nillies Eurovision semi NQ’er suddenly wandered into the set, so derivative and repetitive and tacky but SO fun and happy-go-lucky <3 The entire premise of “Maeva” is basically like: “VISIT FRENCH POLYNESIA, WE ARE THE MOST HOSPITABLE PEOPLE ON THIS EARTH” <333 using this message in the middle of a worldwide viral pandemic <33333333 Normally fun-trash like this would be murdered at first sight by any jury, but whoops “Maeva” turned out a massive televote hit HEHEE 😛 and finished third in the televote despite being last or second last with the jury. Those Tahitian diasporia votes coming through <3

Adriamad - “Allélujah”

TACKY EUROTRASH <3 Lol when I think of it, did I like this NF because it was good or because it was so fun-trash. Anyway, this display of diversity would normally be on my shitlist but it’s honestly SO OTT in its ~People Of The World Of All Colours Are Equal~ message it circles back into funny. The eye gimmick, the hammy choreography, the obnoxious fusion of several cultures into a nondescript ethnotrash hodgepodge, the fucking LYRICS everything is so funny and so entertaining it’s giving me LIFE. 😍 I’d say it deserved better but “Allélujah” stranding in the demifinal (not a typo) is honestly a much, much more satisfying result <3

Predicted Journey - France

Barbara is going on that Mahmood trajectory, I see. Early fave who gets near unanimous critical acclaim, rules solely on top until the other contenders show up and is then put on the backburner because she’s an autoqualifier and therefore isn’t a part of the “who will qualify?” discussions. Then, the rehearsals will happen and everyone will remember “hey, that French chick we almost forgot about is actually REALLY good” allowing her to pick up momentum again, catapulting her into the top five. So it is written, such it shall be.

The question is... Can she win? 

The answer is: yeah, possibly? At this point we have three potential contenders: Gjon for Switzerland and Destiny for Malta are the main rivals and I’d say Barbara has one big advantage over Gjon and Destiny: She already has a great live performance to back up her potential winner status. In fact, Barbara is a fave to win because we know what she’s going to bring in Rotterdam.  Gjon and Destiny could theoretically still bomb if their staging is off (and both are getting theirs done by Sasha Jean-Baptiste, soooooo) and their contenderness is based on things such as hype and expectation. Barbara meanwhile already had her baptism by fire when she competed in E:CQVD, which she handily won.

The problem though is Gjon Muharremaj. For the average eurofan, France and Switzerland have similar entries and it will result in a tug-of-war between which of them has the better song. Either could win this televote bout, and whoever does could beat Malta.. .but that would require Malta to have a disappointing televote result and with each passing day this is starting to look less likely. (Jury results matter less because they’re probably the top 3).  Personally I don’t really have a preference between Barbara OR Destiny as a win for either would push Eurovision in a better direction (A Gjon win though... I am TERRIFIED that may result in a 2022 contest filled with Vincent Bueno’s and Vasils), but if these three are indeed the top three, Barbara’s position is the most secure although she’s probably also the least likely one to actually win. Pray that I’m wrong though and we can all meet at her flat in Montmartre for a covid-proof afterparty. 

Projected placements:

> Grandfinal: 1st-5th (predicted Runner-up)

THE RANKING: 

01. 02. 03. 04. 05. 06. 07. 08. FRANCE - Barbara Pravi - “Voilà” 09. BULGARIA - Victoria - “Growing up is getting old” 10. LATVIA - Samanta Tina - “The moon is rising” 11. GREECE - Stefania - “Last dance” 12. SWEDEN - Tusse - “Voices” 13. IRELAND - Leslie Roy - “Maps” 14. CROATIA - Albina - “Tick Tock” 15. MOLDOVA - Natalia Gordienko - “Sugar” 16. ITALY - Måneskin - “Zitti e buoni” 17. ALBANIA - Anxhela Peristeri - “Karma” 18. UNITED KINGDOM - James Newman - “Embers” 19. LITHUANIA - The Roop - “Discoteque” 20. ESTONIA - Uku Suviste - “The lucky one” 21. FINLAND - Blind Channel - “Dark side” 22. AZERBAIJAN - Efendi - “Mata Hari” 23. the NETHERLANDS - Jeangu Macrooy - “Birth of a new age” 24. CZECH REPUBLIC - Benny Christo - “Omaga” 25. DENMARK - Fyr og Flamme - “Øve os på hinanden” 26. SLOVENIA - Ana Soklič - “Amen” 27. SWITZERLAND - Gjon’s Tears - “Tout l’Univers” 28. ROMANIA - Roxen - “Amnesia” 29. SERBIA - Huricane - “Loco loco” 30. POLAND - Rafał - “The ride” 31. ISRAEL - Eden Alene - “Set me free” 32. GEORGIA - Tornike Kipiani - “You” 33. PORTUGAL - The Black Mamba - “Love is on my side” 34. SPAIN - Blas Cantó - “Voy a quedarme” 35. NORWAY - Tix - “Fallen Angel” 36. CYPRUS - Elena Tsagrinou - “El Diablo” 37. AUSTRIA - Vincent Bueno - “Amen” 38. NORTH MACEDONIA - Vasil - “Here I stand” 39. GERMANY - Jendrik - “I don’t feel hate”

[borisbubbles]

ESC2021 Preshow: 20. Estonia

Uku Suviste - “The lucky one”

Semi 2, #02

Going through the motions of 2021′s shitty NF season, it was a given that the critical mass of the “2020 returnees” competing the selections in these would win them hands down. 

So given how much i DISLIKED the offensively boring abomination “What love is”, and how PAINFULLY inevitable Uku’s victory in a decent Eesti Laul (um spoiler for NF corner?) seemed to be, It’s actually a shock I ended up liking Uku? But I do, lol and I’m not apologizing, sorry boos. 

In fact, I was rooting for Uku to win EL as soon as I saw his performance in the semi. “The lucky one”, which suffered from Aggressive Autotune + Forgettable Melody (we need a name for this. I propose Roxen Syndrome?), is legit good live and harps back to the (admittedly better) “Pretty Little Liar”, and that’s good enough for me. 

Of course, I am aware of the obvious ~*SOULLESS HIMBOT FROM THE DREAM FACTORY*~ label attached to this this entry (written by Uku and something called “Sharon Vaughn” are we certain this person isn’t just Kontopoulos in drag?), don’t worry. I rank him twentieth, not seventh. 

Fortunately, Uku is a mandroid from the SAME sweatshop that gave us Lucie Jones a few years back - in other words omfg he’s barely functional. 😍 Droning robot turned incompetent DRAMA KING <333333 The amount of EFFORT that needs to be thrown in to keep a ~pretence of competence~ is the most tangible in the backing vocals, which trail Uku’s like a shadow and STILL his voicecracks come through at key intervals <3

😍😍😍😍😍

The pathos of Uku throwing in high votes he cannot sing and then his voice breaking over the strain each time, gets me, okay? He doesn’t need a crystal ball to show me, baby it’s clear that you don’t know him :SOB:.  So dramatic, so inept, so unintetionally comedic, so Uku <3 

In other news, this lockdown had better end soon because with each passing day I feel like I’m turning further into a cat lady. 

ps: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KYXNeYXUmEQ&loop=0  😍😍😍

NF Corner - Eesti Laul 2021

Finally a decent Eesti Laul, lol. I wish I could say it was good, but it had one of the weirdest semi split’s I’ve ever seen. EL’s first Semi was without exaggeration the WORST show in the entire season, and the second was a contender for the BEST one across all NFs???? I suppose EXTREME Evil and EXTREME Good balance each other out in blistering adequacy? 

Anyway, I’ll now proceed to ignore Koit and Egert and Karl Killing and Hans and all the other bad (non-Linna/non-Kéa) entries from semi 1, and proceed to an NF Corner composed ENTIRELY of semi 2 songs :-)

Jüri Pootsmann - “Magus Melanhoolia”

It was between Sissi and Jüri for the Token Superfinalist Contender slot on this list, and Jüri is infinitely more notable. Sorry, Sis ur time (to win Eesti Laul?) will come once you figure out to write good music :(

Anyway, what can I even say about Jüri because lmfao what a baffling entry. Registered BARITONE JÜRI POOTSMANN coming back with a an experimental lounge jazz song that is song almost entirely in falsetto. 😍 The camera angles <3 the fact that this already INCREDEBLY short song includes 10 seconds of Jüri standing on the stage looking bored <3 what a fucking baffling entry, I have no opinions, only exclamations of surprise. 

REDEL - “Tarttu”

I HAAAATED “Tarttu” on first listen. 😂😂😂😂 but seriously though, this is downright epic. The UNPLUGGED Meiekündimees MADNESS of it all, now condenced into a equally nonsensical song that is basically like “X is a wooden town but NONE OF THEM ARE AS WOODEN TOWNY AS TARTTU. *incoherent kazoo noises*” 😍😍😍 Once got the chorus stuck in my head at the zoo as I was watching the penguins getting fed and it was one of the most bizarre synesthesic experiences I’ve ever had lmfao <3

Gram-of-Fun - “Lost in a dance”

If you’re wondering what the sort of music I listen to Eurovision is like - this is it. INCREDIBLY good and addictive and EMOTIONALLY tangible 80s New Wave is my fucking jam, can we have entries like this in EVERY selection from here on out? WELL DONE Kristel... on composing this wonderful song, less so on the Kazka-esque vocals that caused it to tragically NQ in the semi. 🙄 Still, BRING THEM BACK (and restrict Kristel to a songwriter only role, plz.)

Gram-of-Fun were my fave, but because they NQ’d somebody else had to fill their shoes in the finale. I’ll now reveal who it was

Kadri Voorand - “Energy”

IT WAS HARD DECIDING BETWEEN SUURED TÜDRÜKUD AND KADRI THOUGH. But given that Charlotte Perelli is guaranteed to appear in Sweden’s NF corner (um is she? :counts on fingers: Clara, Evas, Dotter... ehh sure I’m committed now I guess), it would be best NOT to post Dagmar & Kaire as they fucking clown her lol <3 But their song WAS pretty antiquated schlager...

Kadri otoh... absolutely breaks all records for me by delivering a unicorn: an entertaining stripped-down piano ballad. For the most part because she has incredible emotional delivery that serves personality on a fucking pyrotechnical level, like onn-stop “Loudmouthed Oaf Energy” in the form of a introspective jazz ballad <3 Can you imagine Estonia actually picking this? They could have come left-handside. 

But will Uku do well? :o

Predicted Journey - Estonia

He won’t come top 10, if that’s what you mean by “well”.😂 If you mean “qualify for the Grand Final” then... potentially? Semi 2 is less of a crapshoot than the first semifinal however. At this stage, it’s pretty much “okay, so these twelve acts can qualify... but which ten will?”.

Fortunately for Uku, he is one of aforementionned twelve possible qualifiers. (the others are: san marino, czech rep, greece, moldova, iceland, serbia, albania, bulgaria, finland, switzerland and denmark). UNfortunately for Uku, he’s one of the candidates for the two NQ slots inside that group of twelve.

The problem with Estonia is that their entry is a televote-friendly ballad, stuck in a really televote-UNfriendly slot (#02), in a semi where the jury vote will very likely put them outside the top 10. If we add in a dark stage and Uku’s shaky vocals, they don’t look particularly secure. 

However, I also think Estonia can qualify relatively easily because “televote-friendly ballad” is a unique niche inside that semi; the other ballads (Switzerland is NOT a ballad), won’t be getting many votes and Uku’s appeal as a handsome man with a dramatic song will make him stand out in spite of his spot in the running order, as LONG AS his vocal delivery (or that of the prerecorded backing vocals) remains adequate enough. If not, he’ll be swiftly forgotten and NQ.

Another thing that can cause Uku to qualify is if at least two others of the twelve underwhelm (my money for that would be on Albania, Denmark, San Marino and/or Czech Rep), making Uku the lucky one as he’ll ascend in the ensuing powercreep.

At any rate, it’s really difficult to gauge how well Uku would do since I haven’t really thought about the other BL qualifiers’ odds enough. His televote should be strong enough to avoid bottom 3, I think, and I think it’s safe to say he won’t come top five. Between those values, pffffew, who can possibly tell? I’m not burning my fingers on that. 

Projected placements > Qualifier Tier: Borderline > Semifinal: 6th-14th (out of 17) > Grand Final: 17th-22nd (out of 26)

THE RANKING

01. 02. 03. 04. 05. 06. 07. 08. 09. 10. 11. 12. 13. 14. 15. 16. 17. 18. 19. 20. ESTONIA - Uku Suviste - “The lucky one” 21. FINLAND - Blind Channel - “Dark side” 22. AZERBAIJAN - Efendi - “Mata Hari” 23. the NETHERLANDS - Jeangu Macrooy - “Birth of a new age” 24. CZECH REPUBLIC - Benny Christo - “Omaga” 25. DENMARK - Fyr og Flamme - “Øve os på hinanden” 26. SLOVENIA - Ana Soklič - “Amen” 27. SWITZERLAND - Gjon’s Tears - “Tout l’Univers” 28. ROMANIA - Roxen - “Amnesia” 29. SERBIA - Huricane - “Loco loco” 30. POLAND - Rafał - “The ride” 31. ISRAEL - Eden Alene - “Set me free” 32. GEORGIA - Tornike Kipiani - “You” 33. PORTUGAL - The Black Mamba - “Love is on my side” 34. SPAIN - Blas Cantó - “Voy a quedarme” 35. NORWAY - Tix - “Fallen Angel” 36. CYPRUS - Elena Tsagrinou - “El Diablo” 37. AUSTRIA - Vincent Bueno - “Amen” 38. NORTH MACEDONIA - Vasil - “Here I stand” 39. GERMANY - Jendrik - “I don’t feel hate”