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#me or that that's my husband like it's weird. it's fucking weird!! it's not something that people are supposed to believe i guess
bellysoupset · 3 days
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Posting this and running away
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"What is this?" Jonah chuckled, gesturing vaguely to the image in front of him. This was easily the weirdest thing he had seen in a while.
Leo was inside the bathtub, with no water, in the middle of the day, wearing just his boxers, head leaning back and scrolling in his ipad.
"Hey," the blonde turned his head slightly, voice all soft, "missed you."
How could Jon not melt around this man? He entered further in the bathroom, crouching down to kiss his fiancé and Leo grimaced and pulled back, causing Jonah to whine, "what the hell?"
"You don't wanna kiss me," Leo cringed, "I ate something weird and it messed with me. I just puked," he gestured vaguely to the closed toilet with his head. Jonah raised his eyebrows, surprised.
Leo didn't look sick... But now that Jon looked closer he could tell the sweat clinging to his temples and over his lip. Instead of pale, he was flushed in a slightly unnatural way, specially given how cold their bathroom was.
"Is that why you're in the tub?"
"Yeah, still feel pukey," Leo groaned and slid down in the tub, resting his feet on the opposite end and dropping his ipad to the side. Now that it was no longer blocking Jonah's view, he could tell his fiance's abs were slightly bloated, the usual line separating its quadrants all but faded, "I don't know what's wrong with my office, you'd think such a fancy building would have a decent catering."
Jonah grinned, collapsing down on his ass instead of staying crouched down and leaned in to push Leo's hair back, away from his sweaty forehead. The blonde let out a happy noise at the hair pet, "why don't you come to bed? You can feel sick in the bedroom, where it's comfy."
Leo snorted at that, turning his head so his cheek was pressed to the cold rim of the tub and going boneless as Jonah petted his hair, "bedroom feels too warm, was making me claustrophobic."
"And the bathtub is not?"
"You may question my methods, but not my results," Leo smiled, looking up at him and grabbing the ditched iPad, "I want a March wedding."
"Okay?" Jon moved on the bathroom floor, stripping the thick wool vest he was wearing over his shirt and removing his belt so he was more comfortable, throwing them on top of the sink, "why March?"
"Because I don't wanna wait until October next year," Leo pouted, turning on the screen. Before Jon could question why March and October were the only options, Leo said, "I made a pinterest board."
Jonah couldn't stop smiling, it was embarrassing and hurting his cheek muscles, "you made a pinterest board," he echoed, amused and endeared to hell and back. Leo glared at him, pushing the iPad in his hands.
"Stop looking at me with this stupid smile and look at the board," he tapped the screen, then curled up with a grimace and planted a hand on his stomach, pressing slightly and bringing up a sick burp, "god..."
"Should I move from the line of fire?" Jonah squinted at Leo, noticing the way he was gulping down.
The man shook his head, taking another gulp, "swallowing air," he cleared up, "not gagging."
"Counter intuitive if your stomach hurts, no?"
"Trying to burp," Leo cleared up with a strained voice, digging his fingers in his tummy, until another little sickly burp came up, "urgh, it's stuck."
"My husband, the romantic," Jonah teased him with an eyeroll, then scooted closer, "sit up, let me thump your back."
"Like a baby?" Leo snorted, but obeyed and let out a pleased noise as Jonah started doing exactly that. A couple pats in and he brought up a large, brassy belch.
"UUruorup- Fuck, that felt nice," he hung his head between his knees, breathing out in relief, "look at the board."
"Bossy," Jonah glared at the side of his head, then actually looked at the board. It was a collection of farmhouse weddings and hotels and event-centers... None of it looked very Leo, "uhm- these are the ones you liked?"
"You hate them," Leo sighed, "I don't know, everything I'm able to find is either those ultra girly things that only Wendy could like or, if I search for gay-wedding, it's like they're competing to see who can be more cringy."
Jonah cackled at the bitchiness, earning himself a smile, "this is nice," he leaned against the tub, all but sprawled on the bathroom floor and pointing a picture of a tall, reflective ballroom. Leo draped himself over the edge, squinting at the screen.
"That's a cathedral, Jonah," Leo said dryly, "I'm not gonna get married in a church, thanks."
Jon let out a scoff, "it's in your board!"
"As inspiration! Because I like-" he cut himself off with a nauseated gulp, "the-the tall ceilings..." Leo's voice trailed off and he raised a hand to his mouth, the other one darting up so Jonah could help him up.
Jon was up in a flash, grabbing Leo's hand to hoist him up and leaving the iPad on top of their sink, while the blonde fell to his knees before the toilet and gagged weakly over the water.
He cringed in sympathy as Leo retched and a thin dribble of colored in spit fell in the water, causing him to say in a thick, nauseated voice, "Oh god..." then gag once more, bringing up a mouthful of frothy, beige vomit. Jonah gulped down against the knot in his throat, forcing his gaze away and planted a hand on Leo's naked back. He was covered in cold sweat, muscles seizing under Jon's hand as he continued to heave for another five minutes.
Leo let another sickly burp, the groaned and collapsed forward, causing Jonah to scramble to grab him by the shoulter, "don't split your head open, Leo!"
"Uhhmm, wasn't gonna..." He scoffed, pressing his forehead to the cold porcelain, "I still feel so queasy..."
Jonah hit the flush, then combed his fingers through Leo's sweaty bangs, touching his cheek and forehead inconspicuously. He wasn't feverish and Leo let out a little snort, "I know what you're doing, Dr. Banks..." he blew out another soft burp, "I wanna go to bed but I'm all sweaty..."
"Couch?" Jonah suggested and Leo lifted up his head, considering it for a minute before nodding.
"Yeah okay, help me up..."
It was a bigger hassle than expected, as Leo washed his face and brushed his teeth, only for the toothbrush to send him into another gagging fit, but eventually they managed to move into the living room and Leo collapsed down on the cushions with a sigh, "Jon..."
"I know, I know," he grinned, sitting next to the man and planting his hand on his boyfriend's bloated belly, "tummy rub."
"You're the love of my life," Leo said in a pleased tone, eyes slipping closed as Jonah started rubbing his hand in a soft, gentle circle over his distended abs. It wasn't much of a massage, but he was afraid of putting too much pressure, with all the angry gurgling going on inside.
JD, who had been very busy chasing her toy mice, perked up at the sudden company and jumped on the couch as well, meowing and stepping on Leo's thigh in order to headbutt Jonah's chin.
"She's ignoring me," Leo groaned, pressing a hand on his stomach, "I stepped on her tail earlier."
"Well, I can't blame her," Jonah scoffed, kissing the top of JD's head, "Leo didn't mean it, baby."
As if she understood him, JD crawled on Jon's lap, nuzzling the inside of his arm and letting out a happy meow. Leo opened his eyes to glare at the cat, pouting.
"It was an accident! I was rushing in," his stomach let out a loud growl and he squirmed, gulping down, "Jon..."
"Shit, give me a second," Jonah sprung up, taking JD with him, and rushed to their kitchen, in order to grab a bowl. By the time he made it back, ten seconds later, Leo had his eyes squeezed shut and was breathing slowly through his mouth as if he was giving birth.
"Here, here, here-" Jon pushed the bowl under his chin and Leo grabbed it with sweaty fingers, but didn't immediately retch. Jonah cringed, planting JD down and moving so he wasn't directly looking at the bowl, but could help Leo hold it up, "baby?"
A nauseated hiccup shook the blonde's frame and he let out a moan, leaning forward and drooling over the bowl, "fuck..." he cleared his throat, taking a deep breath, "my stomach hurts."
Jonah frowned, not liking this one bit. He hated the strong feeling of concern, over something so dumb like food poisoning, but he couldn't help it. Leo worried him always.
"Leo, no, don't do that!" Jonah groaned, as he realized his fiancee was shoving a finger down his throat to trigger his gag reflex, "don't force it-"
Leo shook his head, pulling back his hand and burping wetly over the bowl, "I can feel it in my stomach..." his voice was thick with queasiness and he hiccupped again, his belly letting out a disgusting wet sound, "Urgh, fuck..."
"Can I h-" he never finished that sentence, as there was a sudden wet noise in the back of Leo's throat and the blonde folded in half, projectile vomiting in the bowl.
He hung over it, panting as if he had just ran a marathon, before letting out a dainty little burp and another impressive stream of sick fell from his lips. Leo let out a whimper, coughing, then sighed, "Holy fuck... I feel tons better," he said hoarsely, causing Jonah to let out a disbelieving snort.
"Are you sure?" Jon scoffed, biting down a gag of his own, his mouth watering like crazy at the gruesome sight. Leo nodded, forcing up another burp.
"Yeah... Like crazy better," he rolled his shoulders, then let out a whine, "aw angel, you look grey. Sit down, I can clean this up-"
"No, I'm o-Oo-" Jonah interrupted himself with a retch and Leo let out a little giggle, planting a kiss in the inside of his wrist, since his boyfriend was sitting on the couch's arm, and slowly getting up.
"You're fine, uh?" He chuckled quietly, grabbing the bowl and gingerly walking to the bathroom to empty it out. Jon let out a humiliated sigh, sitting down on the couch and staring at his feet. He thought he was over this, he hated when Leo was feeling sick and his body decided to attention seek.
His belly clenched and he brought up a little sickly burp, breathing out slowly against the prickles of nausea... "Hey," Leo crouched in front of him, between Jon's knees, "you're okay? Are you sure it's just sympathy sickness?"
"Yep," Jon gulped down, nodding, "are you-"
"Really, I'm fine. That's on me for being too lazy to cross the street to go to the restaurant that I know won't make me ill," Leo rolled his eyes, leaning in and hugging Jonah by the waist.
In this weird position, with his boyfriend down to his knees in the rug, it was easy for Leo to drop his face to his lap and Jonah leaned back, starting to pet the golden waves of hair, "don't take this badly," he said slowly, while Leo sat down on the ground, leaning his head back to keep getting his hair petted, "but you suck at event planning."
Leo let out an offended huff, but didn't say anything and Jonah folded in half to kiss his forehead upside down, "I'm gonna take this from you and I'll scout for a location, okay? You worry about the damn flowers or what not."
"Anything more inconsequential you wanna hand me?" Leo pouted, causing Jon to grin and kiss the tip of his nose.
"Test me and I'll put you on water duty," he teased, before falling back against the couch, "so March?"
"Yeah, March," Leo smiled, then let out a little pleased sigh as JD sniffled his hand and came to sit on his lap.
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dexter-erotoph · 6 months
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i havent mentioned how unreasonably happy i am about this….. id say im like one of eyes’ biggest fans i love them so much
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forestgreenlesbian · 6 months
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#feel like my relationship with my younger brother is changed completely forever not to be dramatic lol but i am sad#we used to b very close but he has kind of. found his faith again and gone full missionary christian which like. i knew meant the dynamic#was doomed lmao but actually acknowledging it makes me sad i feel like i'm grieving for the friendship we used to have even though#it is literally a me problem i think from his perspective he doesn't think anything has changed. but i feel weird about everything#also his new gf is nineteen and he is. almost 25 and i am the only one who feels weird about it like i know she's over 18 but! idk i can't#tell if i'm being overly cautious or if my gut instinct is right. my sister & her husband have a similar age gap but they met when they wer#both over 30 so like. it didn't feel weird. and i didn't feel comfortable actually seriously talking to him about it apart from the first#time he mentioned her over facetime (he went to another country to do mission stuff & met her there) so like an idiot i've just been#making jokes about the age gap becausee like. thats always been our thing lightly bullying each other lol but he blew up at me and said#i've had nothing positive to say about her since he's been back home and that he thinks i hate her and i'm out of line for constantly#implying he's creepy for dating someone younger. idk i felt like such a freak idiot horrible person about it. it completely blindsided me#bc yes the jokes were coming from a place of idk how i feel about this situation so i'm going to rely on the humour-based communication#we have always fallen back on as a safety thing but i guess i was wrong or the dynamic shifted or something anyway it's all fucked#& everyone is just telling me i feel weird out of some?? misplaced kind of jealousy thing?? because i'm 'losing' my brother to his gf lol#which does not feel right at all he has dated so many other girls and i have never had a problem it is literally the age gap like i haven't#even met this girl i'm sure she's very nice! i just worry about her being nineteen!! jesus. and yes maybe i do feel some resentment around#a brother younger than me who seems to be able to live his life with zero difficulty whilst i'm stuck being this unemployed loser who ruins#literally ever friendship & relationship ive ever had but i think thats ok right like i can't help feeling that. i don't fucking knowwww#am i just projecting all these sad feelings about our friendship dying onto his new relationship or like. am i right to be genuinely#concerned she's six years younger than him and still a fucking teenager!!!!!! i don't know
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incesthemes · 7 months
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hey girlie it’s me, sam winchesters gay lover, your mootie 🥰🥰🥰 i just wanted to let you know, that your tags on the post about that wincest video are based and i agree with every word, hashtag slay couldn’t agree more i loved reading your essay in those tags heart ❤️
omg thank you!!! i'm basically only capable of talking in essays whether people want me to or not, unfortunately
i just have a lot of feelings on this topic and the whole "canon or not canon" argument is weird to me; the themes are pretty darn clear in supernatural (it is NOT known for its subtlety) so idk man. they don't have to kiss to be canon. and they don't have to have a romantic relationship to be canon either. how many times do they get into relationships with other people only for it to be treated as cheating/betrayal/abandonment, only for them have to give up that relationship in order to reaffirm their devotion to their brother
that's just what the text says. i'm not under any kind of delusion that they have some secret sexual or romantic relationship, but that doesn't change that sam and dean are each other's most important person regardless of that. which is really awesome imo, that romance isn't treated as more important than whatever horrible thing they have with each other, and that they don't have to consummate their relationship with romance/sex in order for it to be the most important one they have
(and of course there's romantic/sexual subtext, like parallels and metaphors and misunderstandings and jokes, but to me that just provides a solid foundation for presenting this relationship between them as the most important even though it's not romantic or sexual—because this language of romance is the only one we know, really, when it comes to writing important relationships between characters. it's the only one we know in our own personal lives, to a large extent. so you use the romance/sexuality to symbolize the actual bond they have. which is so much worse lmao)
anyway i think spn is fairly unique in this way because of how no other relationships can really ever stand parallel to the one they share; even in other shows that center male friendship, romance is allowed to coexist with brotherhood. for sam and dean, it's not, and that becomes a point of tension and conflict and resolution many, many times over the course of the show. so like yeah!!! just because it's not romantic or sexual doesn't mean it's not canon, in the sense that their relationship is the point of the show, and it is the most important relationship they have. they chose each other above all else, every single time. yknow, it's "the epic love story of sam and dean" and all that
#ask#sorry. i did not intend to write another essay about this#but as i said i am only capable of talking in essays. my apologies#to be honest the only reason i have so much to say about this is because i have seen some truly baffling takes about what sam and dean are#and every time i see one i have to sit here and think about it. like how did you arrive at that conclusion. what are you watching#mostly in terms of like. people saying sam and dean are not weird and codependent and enmeshed with each other#that's just blatantly not true because again. this show is about sam and dean and their relationship. textually subtextually metatextually#the concept of even having to defend their relationship as canon is as confusing to me as having to defend umm rubysam is canon#or something#like it happened. they were together in canon. we saw them have sex. you can't say rubysam isn't canon because it's right there#same thing with sam and dean. the difference is the nature of their relationship and the fact that i guess people don't want to like#think of it as canon when it's not romantic????#it's such a no-brainer kind of thing. like the fact that i'm sitting here trying to explain myself is embarrassing me bc it's like#no shit sherlock#but again the only reason i am thinking about this so much is because i keep seeing people trying to deny or downplay their relationship#in the first place#which is BIZARRE to me#like idk i don't see people trying to deny that ummmm fuck. killua and gon hxh aren't canon friends#that they don't even like each other#wow i'm seriously rambling. apparently i have more to say about this topic than i originally conceived#idk man i get people are uncomfortable with incest but the point is that it's like. not. their canon-ness is not related to incest#they're just insane about each other and they are each other's most important person. they are more important than romantic pursuits#the uniqueness is that it trumps all other relationships and cannot coexist with any others. that's what's so canon about it#it's not just friendship. it's not just brothers. it's not just husbands. it's everything and nothing and so much more all at once#shrugs. sorry for rambling AGAIN#i hope i'm making sense here#supernatural#wincest#spn posting
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running-in-the-dark · 7 months
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had one very short interaction with my mother-in-law and once again I think I won't get through living here until the end of March :)
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Oh to be Suzanne Collins and have little social media presence and to write a book regarding whatever current societal trend is bothering her at the moment.
#i am feeling. bothered. this weekend#i am hanging out with my wealthy cousins for their bridal shower--thank christ they are not asking me to bring anything--and tired#everyone always talking about their accomplishments and im liek... pls im wanting to go back to my boyfriend and cat right now#everyone asking what i'm doing for work--because that's all ppl seem to care about in this goddamn family--and i have to say#'i'm looking for something else'#like yoo i already lied a whole year about freelancing when really i was attempting to freelance but not getting anywhere#like i was all 'oh i make x a month just workig on my computer!' when really i was making diddly squat#end this fucking generational cycle of lying about yourself because you have to prove to everyone you are ok#i want the suzanne collins life where i can do my writing hobby without putting this fake social media persona on where i police my thought#and only post about cutesy happy things (since my genre is cozy fantasy; i have no intelligence to write anything more complex#and no passion to write anythign other than sf/f#BUT SHOUTOUT TO MY COUSIN'S HUSBAND WHO ASKED IF I READ AND MENTIONED THE WHEEL OF TIME SERIES AND MY NEURONS ACTIVATED LIKE 'HAVE YOU HEAR#OF PRATCHETT AND BRANDON SANDERSON AND GAIMAN? I CAN GIVE YOU RECS#but other than that i have to deal with my aunts bragging about their kids#one of my aunts is kind of colder and i always got this weird vibe from her like i had to earn her love which... ok. whatever. i also think#she considers me very dumb#the only bright side to any of this shit is im not in college anymore thank christ#all my cousins who are in college still have this... 'energy' around them#you know? that 'wanna kms low key but im pretending to smile and laugh' energy#delete later#tw family
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mer-se · 4 months
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it’s crazy how people don’t think their death will affect people around them even if you aren’t close to them, or even if they were just semi passing encounters like no, others feel it. my neighbor died and as I park my car and look up at her dark little house it makes me so sad - I wanna go inside and turn on the lights she always has on. People notice and will feel it even if you don’t believe it.
#and I feel so bad because I saw her a couple of days ago and she was trying to give me flowers but I was rushing back to work#they’ve been on her porch she said take some and I haven’t and ew I feel bad#she was always trying to give me flowers and stuff because knows I like em#she was a lot but had a lot of issues going on#she use to come over crying all the time I knew so much about her life#and she genuinely cared about all of us over here#been like 16 years#I use to walk and also be chased by her dog way back in the day#stood in between her and her husband in a fighting match#one time she slid a picture of an owl under my door and we were so fucking creeped out because what#turned out it was her and she gave it to me because I love animals and photography hahah#l'd hide from her but feel bad and end up listening haha#she’d give me birthday cards because I share a birthday with one of her daughters#definitely an end to a era#I feel bad for her daughter she was sitting in her car while medical examiners were in the house#a bunch of ominious black vans outside for a bit#I should've taken the flowers 😕#I felt crazy guilty afterwards to the point I kept mentioning it and now I’m wondering if my spooky bitch body knew something#it's me and I wouldn't be that surprised I am all knowing even if I don't know you know?#seems odd#anyways I was thinking of leaving something for her daughter but I’m not sure when#she wasn’t home today#I’m not surprised by that#the flowers are still on her steps and it makes me really 😖#anyways life is short and weird and sad and ppl care
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designernishiki · 1 year
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sometimes i kinda wish mirei wasn't killed off because boy the divorced exes dynamic with majima could've been so god damn funny
#everyones seen my 'if you see my ex-husband at pride' post. thinking about that sort of thing#like yeah i know y5 said they werent exactly on bad terms (though i think that was vague and debatable considering the way she#recounts her backstory with haruka not really painting him in a great light- for understandable reasons mostly dont get me wrong- but my#point is . i think there may have been more passive aggressive animosity lingering in there than what was presented in the romanticized#retelling of the story later on in the game basically). but come on. you cant tell me they'd get along just fine if she were to have lived.#say what you will about her and her intentions and etc but regardless she DID tear kiryu's family apart and guilt trip the SHIT out of him#to do so. knowing majima. and knowing how majima feels about kiryu. do you think he'd be like. cool with that#like if/when he heard the whole story i do Not think mirei's Heartwarming Vicarious Dreams would be enough to excuse the damage she did#and its such a wild coincidence itd be hard not to think- at least just a tinnnyyy bit- that she somehow found majima's weakpoint#(kiryu) and attacked it on purpose out of spite or something.#yeah all that and i think their relationship mustve been inevitably Very toxic and fucked up considering. everything about both of them#especially at that point in time. plus the very weird and not great gap in maturity (18-19 vs 27-28) and all that. no way that ended just#totally chill and amicable. no fucking way. she had fair reason to harbor resentment towards him and i wouldve liked to see that honestly#anyway so i mean you see what im getting at. perfect setup for the most toxic but kind of hilarious divorced dynamic Ever#if she were to ever come anywhere near kiryu again majima would be there in 0.2 seconds to sheild him from impending psychological warfare#rambling#majima#mirei#y5#yakuza 5 spoilers
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greppelheks · 10 months
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honestly people in this country have not heard of the saying the more the merrier, and have not figured out what it means to be hospitable yet
#personal#I've had like 20 people ask me if I have plans for new year's eve yet and I said I don't and Nobody asked me to join them#and these are all people that like to spend time with me and tell me how much they like me all the time#my friend has hundreds of friends yet he still spends every christmas alone in his apartment#and NONE of his friends have asked him to spend christmas with them#what is wrong with people#new years eve okay but how are you going to let someone spend christmas alone?#y'all are having dinner anyway invite one extra person over who gives a fuck if it's not family your family sucks anyway and he's great#or just the amount of times I've asked people to do something fun and they're like I'm already going with (these six people)#my friend asked me to go to something and I said I'm going with my friend would you like to join us?#I asked my coworker to go out for a drink and she said her husband was picking her up#so I told her he could join us if they both wanted that'd be fun and she was Shocked#????#this apparently does not happen?#there's this weird designated group of people that time gets spent with and you will just not be invited#and there's also a weird thing about couples only spending time with other couples and they dont invite their single friends anymore ??????#I don't understand a lot of things#I was raised by books that didn't take place in this country maybe that's why I have different ideas when it comes to this#and like the most social and kind people too right??#confused.....#we ran into a friend we all VERY much like we were all SO excited to see her#and we were on our way to go out for dinner#and everybody was like it's so good to see you hi how are you#so i invited her over for dinner and everybody was like ?????#what the fuck do you mean ????? we're... wha???? you're all acting like feral dogs#I've spoken to a lot of people from different countries who moved here and they're like it's impossible to make friends here#because they will just not invite you out when theyre hanging out with a group of friends#you can not become part of their friend group because That's already their friend group - even if they like you a LOT#and I'm like I know I don't know what the fuck is wrong with us
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my-thoughts-and-junk · 9 months
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anyway back to thinking about fionna and cake for the night because simon compels me
#random thoughts#adventure time#petribell compels me...#honestly the idea of this fifty sixty something man busting it down with a thirty something and THAT being what fixes him???#like the opposite of what usually happens#usually this would be a midlife crisis but his life is already so goddamn weird#this would be like the most normal thing he could do#it's so fucking funny like hold on#like i appreciate the jokes ive seen about simon being like a fucking horndog??? have yall seen those#just like elizabethian levels of 'this man has not fucked in centuries'#i do think that if simon and fionna got together it would very much be a 'rpg hero and his besotted wife keeping the home' dynamic#simon IS a house husband. he fucking gardens. knits.#no wait hold on how fucking funny if in the new season they address how simon is so fucking old he's gonna die like sooner rather than later#how advanced is their medical technology regarding old world humans and would simon use it#cuz like simon is human classique. his medical needs are likely very different from other future humans. even finn!#how long do humans live. are they gonna give simon a bonkers robot body#anyway how funny would it be if simon somehow got deaged and THEN he and fionna get together#marceline's just like 'you boyified my dad???'#btw if simon and fionna arent physically in the same room in the next season like at all ill be so mad#like at least have them message each other once per episode i live for their fucked dynamic#anways simon has like ten twenty years tops#will they address it or will they just like casually stay in the timeline where they don't have to think about it#DID WE SEE SIMON IN THE DEATH WORLD IN TOGETHER AGAIN#like full on i think they'll somehow make simon immortal#he will somehow deage it'll be weird#they'll do a too young it'll be great#fionna being into simon is in character for her btw as far as finns go#they're into older people like as a species#boing
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raeathnos · 9 months
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#I will never fail to understand my parents logic#tarp blew off my husband’s broken down car yesterday#they waited until it was dark out to tell him#there’s a forest out back and so my husband rightfully tells them that that’s not 100% safe he’ll do it in the morning#he forgets which like okay#but then they don’t say anything to him and instead say something to me at 10pm as I’m about to go to bed#and get huffy when I tell them that’s not safe one of us will do it in the morning#‘we told him that yesterday and he didn’t do it and now you’re not either’#yeah because we live at the edge of a forest and I’m not going out on the poorly lit back street at night#also like this is the first I’m hearing of this so like#idk they wanted it done yesterday and I’m only just hearing of it now idk what they expected#also like people forget sometimes my husband isn’t purposefully not putting the tarp back#‘he should have done it when it was still light out’ yeah but he forgot#and while I appreciate them reminding about it#it’s not helpful that they’re giving me attitude about something I’m only just learning about#and it’s not helpful that they’ve been upset about it all day and choose not to say anything until 10pm once again#idk what kind of fucking weird logic they run on#but they pull this crap all the time and I’m tired#it’s not even a big deal tbh and they’re blowing it up and making us sound lazy and ungrateful and I’m just#it’s his car if anything he’ll get a ticket not them#like chill tf out#not putting the tarp back is a character flaw apparently#pls stop
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spikeyjo · 5 days
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also uh im kind of not thinking about it much because its insane. but if everything goes right (and i mean a considerable amount of things that probably wont go as planned) but if they DO... i will have a major surgery in like two weeks
#vertical sleeve gastrectomy to be exact insert nerd emoji here#i might document a lot of whats going on with it and even take some videos honestly#not to share here other than some oversharing text posts about probably constipation LMAO#but like no one shares whats it like to be mentally ill and go thru vsg and like the process and not many people as young as me get it#feels weird calling myself young on the chronically 13 year old website#but anyone that does post about it posts for like a year and then falls off the face of the earth#genuinely there are so many youtubers that start talking about this stuff#then you find their channel three years deserted and its like man.#i sure hope this means you found better ways to spend your time#and like okay time to get sappy and corny as hell in the notes so go ahead and skip this part idk who even reads my notes hello#but basically everyones that gets this shit is like you gotta find your why#and most of them have kids or like a husband or plans to travel the world or do better at their job#and none of those things really apply to me#i kind of have the perfect storm for being fat#i dont do anything work wise that encourages any kind of movement#im chronically afraid of planes and i cant afford that shit anyways rn#also not very good at romance LOL and never want kids and my entire family is also fat barring my brother#thats not to absolve myself of any of the blame for this shit either like i know i put myself in this situation#i just think like wow my life is pretty much perfect for staying fat but i DONT WANT THAT#I want the highlight of my week to be more than eating takeout man#i want to live life instead of meal to meal to something better#idk what yet maybe jewelery piece to jewelery piece#i could do some serious kandi making while im down for the count#but i dunno man my therapist tells me that in order to feel like a person and not get tired of life i have to do people things and#participate in life yknow?#and its hard to do things like go to the gym talk to people explore fashion styles when i have this overloomingness of being fat#so i guess that could be my why? like i want to experience more of life#i want to be able to walk in a mall and look at all the stores. i want to walk in a mall period. cause it fucking hurts the way i am now#thats all to say the actual “why” that i have is Goddamn it i want to be able to jump from a swing#and not break my fucking ankles
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fuzzyunicorn · 3 months
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Fully meant it when I asked what’s ur🖤 toxicology report? Hopefully high as hell
#b4 any1 whines 1st of all SHUT THE FUCK UP & 2ndly know n understand I want n need him🖤 2 be toxic#not 4 me but 4 others as a deterrent 4 the fuckin’ creepy men creeping on me constantly like bitch boy @ chick Fil a who punishes me 4#being visibly uncomfortable n scared bc he won’t stop being a fuckin’ creep yeah uh try it in front of him🖤 n watch what happens :)#men touch me when they want to and for how long they want to this applies to men at drive thru windows & know my male tarot clients are#touching me & 4 too long like one guy kept finding reasons to touch my hands & would hold onto them 4 as long as he could like no#stop u don’t have any right or privilege or entitlement to fucking touch me#like what the actual fuck? stop it or lose ur hands. my husband would very much enjoy removing ur fingers w pliers don’t make me encourage#him🖤 2 do exactly that sadly it takes other scary men to make creepy men stop being creepy towards women/girls & that really says something#so yes I need n want him🖤 2 b xtremly toxic like no u can’t speak 2 the male waiter I’ll order 4 u like yes pls & it prevent me from getting#touched & my hands held by random men who I do not know and am not interested to know#this is y I want feminism 2 revert back to the good ‘ole times where men could socially n legally duel w no consequences & b rewarded 4 it#hehe b weird 2 me n my husband takes it life like yes pls as it should b bc too many women end up dead by the hands of deranged men & that#is facts#I’ve literally had to barricade myself into rooms where men who were trying 2 do things to me so they couldn’t
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moe-broey · 6 months
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I am...... getting A Little nostalgic for Stardew Valley........ but I know it is SUCH a commitment like if I get back into that shit I'm blacking out for a month. I Cannot Allow It
#GSJAGSKAHSKSJ#i miss .... my goth stay at home malewife and my goth chickens and being the wizard's pet guy#furious and devastated you get nothing for maxing out the wizard's hearts. bullshit.#i wish you could romance the wizard......... i know there's mods but i play console LMFAO#i also miss emily... peak weird woman. she is SO AWESOEM#emily and sebastian were the ones i was split between marrying and i went seb bc i felt deeply#slotted into being a 'cisguy' and. while playing as male absolutely was integral to my transition actually#like the very start of the game i was fucking ruined. grampa nooo don't die AND you respect my identity as your grandson........ WAH#but like. i just needed something queerer. like who you're with doesn't determine who you are#but. i mean. it's MY self-indulgent male fantasy and i need MORE QUEERNESS. EXPLICITLY.#also was sobbing like.... husband AND husband..... holy shit........ gay marriage IS real and so am i .....#got slightly off topic but the fact that i was split between romancing seb or emily and also was EXTREMELY#EXTREMELY EXTREMELY WANTING TO BE THE WIZARD'S PET APPRENTICE SO SO SOOOO BAF#BAD#AND I DESPERATELY WANTED TO HAVE THE OPTION TO ROMANCE HIM#says. something about me. i think.#also my whole ass shane saga. he's not my type but i do absolutely feel for him. we can be buddies. i wish the best for you.#i am primarily motivated by chickens though i am so sorry. i am A Farmer.#IN. THE LOOSEST DEFINITION OF THE FUCKING WORD BC ALL I WAS INTERESTED IN WAS CHICKENS#I HAD SOME CROPS SEASONSALLY BUT. ALL I EVER WANTED. ALL MY HEART DESIRED. CHICKENS#also men long for the mines. and the skull cavern. i was barely a fucking farmer i was dungeon crawling 80% of it.#ALSO. LINUS. I LOVED LINUS I MADE IT MY MISSION IN LIFE TO BEFRIEND LINUS#and ALSO be his pet guy. more platonic this time but like. local young man looking for older men to imprint on#MY GRAMPA JUST FUCKING DIED. AND I'M TRANGENDER. A BRAND NEW MAN. GIVE ME A BREAK!!!!!!!
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nkogneatho · 8 months
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"𝐈𝐓'𝐒 𝐑𝐀𝐈𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐌𝐈𝐋𝐊"
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𝐉𝐉𝐊 𝐋𝐀𝐂𝐓𝐀𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍 𝐊𝐈𝐍𝐊
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—cw: lactation kink, mentions of pregnancy, dirty, nasty, depraved stuff, vaginal sex, period oral mention, monsterfucking in kuna's (sukuna's is way too dirty), dry humping, drinking breast milk obv, not proofread (this is too long and i have an event tomorrow)
—a/n: i have officially lost it. is it obvious i have lost it? idk if this is the best or the worst thing you will ever read but this is very depraved and nasty. like...aaaaaaaaaahh okay i am normal. i put my big titties non existent breast milk into this so please read it all and i hope you enjoy.
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𝐆𝐎𝐉𝐎 𝐒𝐀𝐓𝐎𝐑𝐔
— satoru is the man who is always up for something new. especially, if it involves pleasing you because he's a good husband and that's good what husbands do. he knows how to pull out the naughty parts out of you, but he had to work his way up.
"I am just saying. It helps. Believe me," your husband was arguing with you.
"Cut it out, Toru. I am not letting you suck my boobs."
"But why?"
"Because it's gross and weird." The moment those words left your mouth, he audibly gasped.
"Did you just call our baby's food gross?" You rolled your eyes. He's always like this. It's not like you weren't curious of his reaction when he does taste you, you were just scared that he'd be disgusted. Plus the post pregnancy hormones are worst as they make you emotional over the silliest things.
"Please, baby? Just this one time. I'll be a good boy I promise." You hate when he addresses himself as if he's an angel. He is a mischievous devil inside. But rather than having him pester you for the rest of the night and ruin your hard earned sleep (since your baby's cries always wakes you up) You thought maybe let him and just get it over with...
"mmph ffhuck." His moans vibrated through your skin, "mhmm god ywo twaste shwo good." The moment he said that, all the insecurity left your body, and heat forming between your legs.
"Ngh—toru..." you felt so embarrassed—so dirty when his eyes locked with you. Your lashes fluttered and you looked away but you swore you could feel him smiling on your nipples. Your husband really digs out the emotions you never thought existed within you.
He was pressing them together, playing like he had just found a new toy. You had never seen so much amusement in those blue eyes as much as of now. Bright pink tongue lolling out to taste the squirting liquid when he squeezed both your breasts together.
"Feels good, right baby? ah!" *slurp* He wiped the dripping milk at the end of his lips with his tongue, and you couldn't process. You felt so wet. And he knew you very well. After all, you've been together for so many years.
"Lay down baby. I'll fuck you while I drink you." You never thought you'd ever hear that sentence but there it was.
𝐅𝐔𝐒𝐇𝐈𝐆𝐔𝐑𝐎 𝐓𝐎𝐉𝐈
— toji has always been an experienced man. he has definitely tried a lot of things. but there's always areas to expand knowledge and new things to learn. he wouldn't do anything that makes you uncomfortable but he knew the person he was marrying wasn't ordinary. you, deep down, were just very dirty like him.
You had your legs stretched on the sofa, upper body resting on your husband's lap. Since you guys had a baby, it was very rare for you rest. Being a parent is the best thing in the world but it also feels worse than a 9to5 sometimes. Today was a good day though. Your boy was sleeping soundly and you had some quality time to spend with each other. Well, it's hard to go on a date at this time, but you both were just happy to be in each other's presence.
Toji was mindlessly flipping through some channels after he got bored halfway through that one movie he was watching. His emerald eyes fell on your ipad screen where you were scrolling through what seemed like a baby product websites.
"I thought we had bought everything for little gumi." You looked up at him then back to the screen.
"Oh this isn't for gumi bear. This is for me. These are called breast shells."
"What? Show me." He took the ipad from you and carefully observed the product you were supposedly buying. "So what is this a fashion accessory for mommies now?"
"Hehehe," you giggled. "No, baby. My breast oversupplies sometimes and it ruins my dress. They prevent that." You watched him as he sat there in silence, poking his tongue inside his mouth. Within two seconds, he flipped you on the sofa, and gently climbed on you.
"Why are you buying that shitty thing when I am right here?"
"Toji, what do y—OH MY GOD!" he pulled out both your breast pretty quickly, all thanks to your maternity clothes. He knew you won't stop him. He knew you would get wet when he'd do that. And he was right on the money. He started sucking so hard, you felt...foreign. He had sucked them a hundred times before but watching him flick your nipples with his tongue and the milk trailing down, fusing with the tastebuds until it goes transparent and his adam's apple bobs when he gulps it. fuck.
Toji's obvious boner grinds against your heat as he suckled on those pretty tits. The wet patch on your panties were now staining his grey bottoms too.
"Overflowing down there too, mama? Hmph," he chuckled. You were to focused on the feeling of his lips on your nipples that you forgot to see his right hand moving down to cup your heat.
"Ngh—twoji," you mewled.
"Don't worry, baby. I'll take care of you." Thick fingers circled your wet clit, "Ya don't need those shells or whateva when i am right here." He is a great husband. He even saved you so much money that you were gonna spend on those silicones.
𝐆𝐄𝐓𝐎 𝐒𝐔𝐆𝐔𝐑𝐔
—suguru worships you. it isn't obvious but you can feel his devotion towards you. the way his droopy eyes lights up when they fall on you, or his ears turn red when you kiss him. he loves how you take him in, struggling a little at first because he is girthy and a bit long, but when he bottoms out, you finally exhale and relax your walls around him. holy shit. he loves it. but this time, something different struck his curiosity.
"fuck. you sure we can do this baby?" He asked.
"'s okay, sugu. doc said we had to wait like six weeks and it's been three months." You were so busy in your post pregnancy life that you barely got time for just each other. You hadn't even kissed properly in months. "plus," you reached for his cock, "i need you." Those last words came off as a whine. You needed him and who is he to deny you off your pleasure.
You were on top of him as you positioned his boner to your entrance. He watched as your cunt swallowed him. This time, not struggling as much. Thanks to dilation.
"anh! suguuu~ mhmm missed your cock." You moaned so beautifully, he found himself falling in love over and over again. Yet, something was different. Normally, his eyes would focus down on how you well you take him as you ride it, but today he had found something rather more interesting. Your big tits bumped against his face and he couldn't take his eyes of those nipples. Those glistening nipples. He could see droplets of milk settling and honestly, they looked so fucking tempting. He let his intrusive thoughts win as you felt a warm sensation on your boobs.
"haaa—fuck. sugu, mhmm—no, it's gross" He didn't reply. He didn't need to. Pretending he didn't hear that was just right. Why would you even think anything about you is gross. He would kiss the soil you walked on.
"so fucking sweet. my sweet girl." *sucksucksuck* "these are f'me too, right? these were made f'me. hmm...sweet *suck* fucking *suck* girl.
congratulations. you just unlocked his new kink.
𝐍𝐀𝐍𝐀𝐌𝐈 𝐊𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐎
—nanami is a gentke lover. we all know that. he is only mean in bed if you ask him too. that alone needs a lot of convincing because he is scared of hurting you. he is not too kinky but you can't say he's completely vanilla. he enjoys wrapping a tie around wrist as be eats you out. he also found himself getting hard when you called him "daddy." So yeah, he is a little kinky. But not in a million years Nanami Kento would've thought he would get hard watching you wipe the excess milk off your breasts.
"So i just put her down to sleep," you walked out of the baby room, with your left tit out, wiping it with a napkin. "What do you want for lunch—Kento?" He immediately broke the staring contest he was having with your boobs and looked at you.
"Yes, sweetheart?"
"Is everything alright? Is there something on my breasts?"
"Yes—I mean no. of course not." It was rare to hear panic in his voice which only made you mroe curious. You walked closer to him, hsi breath heavier than usual.
"What's wrong, Ken? Talk to me." shit shit shit. you were too close. he could feel your wet boobs rubbing against his cyan blue shirt. If you got any closer, you would loathe him for having a boner for such thing. He was ashamed of himself.
"Why are you looking away, baby? Do you not like me anymore?" Fuck. You're so stupid. Not like you? That man is in love with you so much. He cannot contain himself. You tried to get closer but he tripped on the foot of the couch and felk on it upright, and you on top of him.
oh.
OH.
You could feel it between your legs. You didn't even kiss him and it's not like you were seducing him earlier so you connected the dots pretty quickly on why he was hard.
"hmm hmm" you giggled. "is this what makes you hard you, ken? my lactating tits?"
"don't say it out loud, please." it was so fun seeing him all flustered. you adjusted yourself on top him as you thought of something very dirty.
"wanna taste? i know you're curious." he hesitated a bit, but a man like him can only go so high with his walls before he breaks them and let's his wife take control.
He started off with a few licks, testing his feet into the water. It was sweet with a hint of tanginess. The moment he felt it squirting a lot when he sucked, he fell in love. He acted like a kid who had just discovered magic. You chuckled between your heavy moans as you witnessed him trying to fit in your tits in his mouth as much as he can. You start grinding on him and it only makes him more desperate. He taps your thighs, a cue to pull your dress up and throw it in the floor. You watch as he hungrily latches his lips on your nipples quickly again. Your dress was not even off your arms yet. Nanami had discovered his obsession when he watched you squeeze you tits to squirt your milk on him.
𝐑𝐘𝐎𝐌𝐄𝐍 𝐒𝐔𝐊𝐔𝐍𝐀
—sukuna didn't even think it was possible for him to have a child as him being a curse and you being a human but here you were. he was in love with you. maybe his expression for love was different than others, but you felt it. be wasn't an embodiment of rage, but rather an overflowing confidence in his skills. That's where the cockiness came from. Existing for over a 1000 years, he thought he had experienced everything. Well...he was wrong.
"So...you just out this device on your chest and it gathers your milk?"
"Yes. It's called a "breast pump" and not a device," his vocabulary according to the new era was still weak but he was working on it.
When you detached the the vaccum of the breast pump from your boobs, Sukuna's eyes were fixated on them. He loved your tits. He had his fair share of biting and sucking on them till they were sore, but today they looked so plumped and so...succulent??
"What are you staring at? You want to drink it too or what?" You joked as you closed the lid of the bottle.
"Yes." You stared at him. Two minutes of complete shock snd silence.
"What?"
"What? You said if I want to drink it, and I answered."
"Yeah but—"
"Be a good wife, my little human. Good wives obey their husband's wishes." (Please let the feminist in you shut up for a sec and enjoy cuz i know he'd say smtg like this)
"Kuna...I don't know. It's nasty, y'know?"
"I think you're forgetting that I am a monster, baby. I ate you out during your those days of the month. This is less dirty." He yaps a lot someone shit him up before I die from embarrassment.
Sukuna laid you on the bed gently after getting you undressed. For the first time in so.many years, you were feeling shy again in front of him. It was quite an amusing sight to enjoy for him. He summoned a mouth on both his palm and licked your nipples. He wasn't sucking yet, but the hint of sweetness still laced his tastebuds.
"I am going to squeeze your breasts in my mouth now, okay?" Why did he feel the need to announce it? Weren't you already so flustered?
The tongues on his palm licked the skin of your tits before squeezing it when his mouth crashed against your nipples, spraying the milk. Sukuna sometimes forget you're a human. You're delicate unlike. The strong force of the suction made you whine and moan so loudly, it vibrated through the walls of the bedroom.
"mhmm I did not know my beloved wife enjoyed such depraved acts," he smirked when his thighs brushed against your bare pussy. you were dripping wet.
"Don't worry, little one. Let me please you. Hope you have pumped out enough in that bottle of yours. Because, I am going to milk you dry today."
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taglist: @aztecbrujeria @sachiyoh @hellkaiserinphoenix @his-saiko @kokonoiscoconut @numbinyourchest @shewritesallnight @valiantmilkshakekoala @oreo-creampie @kutabaka @gojoxxluv @desi-the-blue-eyed-kakushi @chronic-claire-universe @katsukichu @shutyourwhoremouthbecky @mostlyhornyandsad @leelee-66 @stargirlstabber
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Diabetic Steve who is at a Dairy Queen with Robin after he went with her to an all girl punk band that’s she’s been wanting to see for years. Steve had been feeling weird all day but he didn’t want to bail at the last second because he knew that Robin would just cancel everything to take care of Steve.
(Steve would do the same for her).
Steve plops down into a booth while Robin goes to order them food. He pulls out his pod and winces when he sees his glucose level.
64 and going down. Not a good sign.
Just to be sure he pricks his finger and holy shit, he’s actually at 43. It’s at that moment, when Steve is wiping his finger with the alcohol wipe, that his phone decides to loudly beep to alert him that, “hey you’re crashing pretty hard and fast— take care of it soon!!”
Steve is rifling through his bag while Robin is already trying to rush their orders.
“Shit,” Steve mumbles to himself. “I’m out of fucking juice.”
His hands start to shake and Robin begins to freak out. Steve is always so in control of his diabetes, she’s never seen him like this. So, Robin does what any other person would do and grabs the largest blizzard she has ever seen on the online orders tray and runs over to her best friend.
“Here! Have this, I’m going to try to get you some apple juice!”
Steve just nods his head and slowly spoons some of it into his mouth.
“This tastes like shit, by the way.”
“You’re welcome, dingus. Now shut up and eat.”
The worker behind the counter comes over and starts talking to Robin after she sits in front of Steve. Steve can’t really make anything out right now since he’s trying to focus on making his hands work. But, he thinks he hears the mention of calling 911 and an ambulance.
Time passes a little slower after that. Steve somehow manages to get down enough of the ice cream that he is slowly rising again.
57 after he pricked. Thank god.
It’s at that moment that Eddie Munson, lead singer of Corroded Coffin, walks in. He went to his best friend’s, Chrissy’s, show and needed a pick-me-up after helping her lug all of her equipment back into their vehicle.
He goes over to the online orders tray and it’s empty. He doesn’t really mind waiting. He walks over to the counter and sees that the worker is extremely frantic as she sorts some shit out.
“Hey,” he starts, his fingers tapping the fake granite counter top. “Just checking, I’m here to pick up an order for Edmundo and it’s not on the tray. Do you know when it will be ready?” He flashes an awkward smile and the worker just points to the table behind him.
“We’re working on it. Your nightmare of a blizzard was needed for something else. Give us five minutes.”
Eddie nods and slowly turned around, where he sees the most gorgeous man eating his blizzard. Reluctantly, he might add. The man has on a light pink t-shirt and brown corduroy pants, thick lensed glasses sliding down his nose. The woman across from him was clad in funky colors and had a dirty blonde bob. She was talking extremely fast and gesturing with her hands a bunch.
Chrissy would love her.
He walked over and tapped the man on the shoulder.
“How’s my blizzard?”
He slowly looks up and Eddie is met with honey brown eyes and beauty marks for days. A straight nose and an angular jawline. Jesus Christ.
The woman looks like she’s about to say something, but the guy beats her to it. “It tastes like if a unicorn threw up in my mouth, but it prevented me from passing out. So… thanks.” He smiles. “I’m Steve.”
Eddie needs to become Steve’s husband immediately.
“And I’m in love.” He pauses and then sees the look of glee on Steve’s face. “EDDIE. My name is Eddie.”
“It’s nice to meet you Eddie. Are you free tomorrow?”
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