#me ignoring luca's red flags

[jaegerisim]

Vent post y'all are gonna hate me for.

I viscerally hate how the Duffers treat most of their non white or queer characters and I hate even more viscerally, how y'all big byler blogs in your circle jerk of other 5 big byler blogs casually like to ignore many red flags the show has.

Y'all like to say: "tHe DufFeRs ArE gReAt WrIteRs" and it's like girl, who are you lying to??? They aren't top shit writers at all. The Duffers are pretty mid imo. Yeah, they run a good show that's fun to watch and theorize abt , but that doesn't mean they're good writers cuz they're not.

1. they completely side lined Will during s3 for the sake of their straight romances: lumax, jancy, mlvn, duzie and partly stobin (even if stobin wasn't endgame, thankfully, Steve's intentions were clearly wanting to date Robin and they gave it a lot of screen time). Will was sidelined bc he didn't fit the straight romance plotline bc they planned to make him gay or whatever. Now in s4 Will and his feelings have been used as mlvn toilet paper. Yes, we like to say this is build up for byler but canonically, Will's feelings have been used to clean the shit mlvn leaves behind.

2. Billy was sympathized a lot during the last 2 seasons. They gave him the sad backstoryTM in order for ppl to feel sorry for him. Billy's backstory is literally Jonathan's but whatever.

3. El's anger issues are constantly girlboss-ified. They down play her bullying situation and literally just use it for El to be a ''girlboss" without realizing how triggering that is. As someone who has lived bullying, seeing it be ignored by canon and fanon is super sad. The whole Rink-O' Mania experience must have been so traumatizing for her yet, everyone absolutely forgets abt it 🤷🏻‍♀️

4. Robin, Erica and Argyle are stereotypical characters. Robin is the quirky lesbian with social anxiety, Erica is the badass black woman and Argyle is the Latino stoner that sells weed to white kids and works as a pizza delivery guy.

5. Altho Argyle and Eddie both do drugs, (Eddie actually sells K-12 to a minor and nobody batted an eye. He has a huge fan base). Eddie is held in a pedestal bc "poor thing 🥺 he lives in a trailer with his uncle 🥺". Tell me a single fact you know abt Argyle that isn't "he smokes weed", "he is Jonathan's only friend", "drives a van" and "he works at a pizzeria". Exactly, Eddie is given a useless backstory and Argyle isn't.

6. Dustin stopped being important to the plot sometime around s2 and s3. He is only there to curse and be mildly funny. My guy needs to hangout with ppl his age cuz he only hangs out with seniors.

7. El needs to stop having so much "I'M THAT BITCH" screentime like I need in s5 for El's arc to not just be her becoming more powerful and falling in love with Mike. I need the Duffers to explore her trauma and problems.

8. Angela should have been run over by the van.

9. Patrick should have been given a backstory that isn't the basic "strict black parents that hit their kids cuz they are a disgrace". Patrick's backstory is actually racist af, fight w the wall.

10. As Lex already said, they didn't trigger tag the ep where Jason and his friends assault Lucas and Erica. Like wtf? Why was that necessary? Why did I have to see a black boy being held at gunpoint by some white guy?? Was it relevant to the plot?? I don't think so. And then I've got to see ppl online be like "Jason wasn't that bad. He was just mourning" like bitch you can stfu. This is what happens when you make the racist assholes conventionally attractive.

Also the fact that Lucas's arc is fulfilled by him fist-fighting Jason and "embracing his weirdness" aka accepting he is black. His arc was not fulfilled at all cuz that ending spoke so loud to me. It showed how little empathy ppl have towards the struggles poc ppl living in the Midwest have. Y'all circle jerks can only see racism when it's super obvious.

Furthermore, parents complained when ST showed "an excessive amount of smoking" yet nobody batted an eye when Billy tried to run over Lucas, when Erica (an 11 y.o ffs) was chased by white kids or when Lucas was held at gunpoint by Jason.

All of this happened while they focused on Max's guilt and mourning that, yeah, are important but certainly not less important than racism!!!

11. In s3, they gave us that whole Nancy vs The Bigots arc that was honestly just triggering and useless. It didn't help Nancy's character at all, quite the opposite it put unnecessary angst.

12. Lonnie being presented as an abuser just for him to never be spoken of again. Can we please get to explore the trauma he left the Byers's with?

13. The fact that both queer relationships are considered "sloppy seconds" is extremely sad. Both Vickie and Mike are rebounding from their failed relationship with Robin and Will. These 2 ships have caused more commotion than Jancy and Jopper together! (These last ships are technically sloppy seconds too but everybody forgets that. Shocker!!)

14. Last but not least, ppl blame Argyle for being the one to get Jonathan into smoking weed as if Jonathan probably wasn't the one looking for it. Let me tell you, that you only find weed if you look for it.

[sonicasura]

Reno reminds me a lot of Lucas somehow.

But for Kafka and Knack, aside from having mysterious earth-shattering abilities, they seem like completely different brands of stupid.

I'm not sure how to put my finger on it...

I definitely see where you're getting at. Reno and Lucas are like the responsible siblings trying to keep their more reckless counterparts (Knack/Kafka) out of trouble. They do enjoy some good shenanigans but will lose it if someone close to them is ignoring the problem or red flags.

Knack and Kafka are the gentle powerhouses. They're smart in their own ways but will miss certain cues at times. Both need someone to hold them back or keep either from doing something really stupid.

Impulse control for the gremlins to put it in a lighter tone. Although they tend to switch roles from time to time. 😅

[starmanbyler]

see this actually made me realise something. this person is right. mike was not trying to control el and he didn’t really care much about how she looked or how she dressed.

how does this help my case??

well, why do you think they made max say ‘not hopper, not mike, you.’ ? there was no indication that hopper nor mike had much to do with how el dresses. in fact it’s pretty overt what max actually meant by that and i think this person may just be wilfully ignorant about it. it’s not about clothes.

max was talking about el finding herself and understanding what she actually likes. she literally said ‘how do i know what i like?’ and they just loveee to brush over that??

EL DOESNT KNOW WHAT IT MEANS TO LIKE SOMETHING!!

how does this not raise any red flags to these people???

this ties into that whole argument that it’s supposedly ableist to say el isn’t ready to date, when until she was 14 she didn’t even know how to tell what clothes she likes. if she can’t tell what clothes she likes, how do you expect her to know what she likes in a relationship and who is good for her?? i’ve gone over this so many times but the only understanding el has of romance is mike kissing her + overdramatised old romance movies. this is Not Good for her bro??

max’s comment there had nothing to do with clothes. what she’s saying is that she should live based off of what feels like her, not hopper or mike. in hopper’s case, she probably just means that most of el’s current life is based around hopper’s, her clothes, her home, the tv shows she watches. and the mike comment is also about this but also about mike himself. i think it’s sort of saying that mike may not actually be what el likes.

max urges el to do some introspection and reflection and try to figure out if she likes mike for mike or if she likes mike for what he represents. whether that’s in the way that he’s the first person she felt she could trust, or the way he just is her romantic partner and she sees that as a positive thing because of it’s portrayal in media and she sees her friends having relationships and thinking that’s just the norm.

the whole ableism discourse is odd to me. it’s not even like it’s canon that el is disabled. people act like she’s just autistic (which she may well be) and in which case, it would be dumb to say she can’t date, because many autistic people are able to have good relationships. the problem is that el is severely traumatised and sheltered and quite a few years behind on her understanding of the world. for example, she didn’t know what a friend was until just 2 years before.

and the argument that she’s not ready to date is not inherently about her having trauma or possibly a disability, it’s based on her as a person because we can see in text and subtext that she doesn’t understand her own relationship or feel how she ‘should’ in a relationship. people with trauma or disabilities are often able to have relationships, and el could at some point but the show tells us that she isn’t ready, and she isn’t in love with mike.

it’s not about the clothes. mike doesn’t care how el looks. he said he liked the new look. which ironically i think represents her independence and understanding of herself. mike and el would both be better off without each other romantically. i honestly feel like him saying that (‘i like the new look by the way’) in a meta sense, was more like him accepting that she should go in a different direction (and so should he) and that m&m scene, despite what people think, didn’t seem like a ‘getting back together’ scene to me. it felt more like an amicable reunion, they never officially reinstate their relationship, they just decide to stop the fighting and get along. i know lucas said to win her back, but then there was the weird music and weird face of mike before him soon having this scene with el.

it felt to me like mike was accepting their breakup and realising they don’t work. i also do not think that they were together between that point and the very end of s3. it would explain why he looked so shocked after she kissed him. the ambiguity confuses me and i wish they had touched a bit more on what their ‘making up’ even meant but overall i think it was first el realising they don’t work, then mike realised, but el changed her mind because she had lost something stable in her life. that’s one idea. i’m not too sure why exactly she decided to say she loved mike and kissed him at the end of that season, and if anyone has any ideas i would be interested

[thecleverqueer]

Random Thoughts on Star Wars Ships (Part One)

First, I’m going to focus on toxic Star Wars ships that I absolutely despise. There are three. They are all canon. Some of them are more serious than others, but all of them are incredibly pernicious and problematic. To say they’re my “least favorite” would be selling my hatred of them short, but yeah… the word “loathe” comes to mind. They are as follows:

1.) Luxsoka (aka Ahsoka Tano and Lux Bonteri)

This is my least favorite ship of them all because watching it unfold at times was physically painful. Part of me doesn’t understand it, but the other part of me knows that it was likely just a tepid attempt by Filoni egged on by Lucas to make Ahsoka more relatable. It didn’t work.

I guess the premise didn’t start out too bad with “Heroes on Both Sides” aside from the fact that it sort of felt forced and completely unnecessary, but holy fuck did it go off the rails fast!

Lux’s behavior in “A Friend in Need” was completely unacceptable and inexcusable. I mean, less than 10 minutes into that episode, Lux is threatening to shoot Ahsoka with a deadly firearm, followed by him stunning her unconscious, stealing her ship, hiding her lightsabers from her, then meeting up with known terrorists with anti-Jedi sentiment and history of violence against Jedi. Then, there’s the unwanted kiss. He just sort of grabs her and kisses her against her will to shut her up. She tries to wiggle herself out of it, and when she finally succeeds you can tell she’s PISSED. Rightfully so. Technically, that’s sexual assault. The episode ends with Ahsoka somehow being more fond of him, I guess… I assume it’s related to trauma. I don’t know.

Anyway, the last time we see them together is in the Onderon arc, Lux has fallen for and appears to be in a romantic relationship with Steela Gerrera, and Ahsoka finds a way get over him, which, good for her. It takes two episodes (of a four episode arc) of her being completely insufferable, but she gets there. Ahsoka deserved better anyway. By the end of the arc, she sort of does this attaboy shoulder slug to Lux after Steela kisses him for luck. By that point, Ahsoka probably also found Steela to be pretty hot, and at least one of them got to kiss her. Steela should have kissed you, Ahsoka, but we can’t win them all.

Filoni basically said he was experimenting with this anyway, and I would say that this particular experiment was an abject failure. I’m just glad that it fizzed out before it ever became anything. It was trash. Utter fucking trash.

2.) Anidala (aka Anakin Skywalker and Padme Amidala)

This is another toxic relationship that I don’t really understand. No. I mean, I do get it. It’s a plot point that gets us to a specific place in a character’s development.

It’s unfortunate really. Padme is supposed to be this badass strong, independent woman, and yet, she blatantly ignores countless red flags during “Attack of the Clones” that should have made her turn away… Anakin being generally creepy, crossing her boundaries, frequently interrupting her, admitting to being a dictatorial fascist… I guess I could technically write all of that off because sometimes your brain short-circuits when you’re in love, and you miss red flags. But… genocide? That was a bridge too far. She should have ran. She should have reported the incident to the Jedi council, but she didn’t because she’s “in love” and actually just a prop.

Their relationship didn’t get much better during the Clone Wars. Anakin guilted her often when she chose duty over desire, something her role in the galaxy required. It was also pretty apparent that Anakin didn’t trust her as far as he could throw her based on the way he acted during the Rush Clovis arcs. There was a point where it felt like their relationship should have ended during season six. Padme needed a break, and told Anakin that she just couldn’t do it anymore after Anakin brutally beat the dog shit out of Clovis. But then, more trauma. Maybe the moral of the story is to avoid “romantic” relationships when you’re in the midst of a traumatic experience because it’s going to end badly, I don’t know.

Then he kills her in “Revenge of the Sith”. Well. He force chokes her and she dies of a broken heart… and then he proceeds to lose his shit, force crushing an entire room with overwhelming emotion (say what you will about the Jedi and their obsession with not forming attachments and overcoming feelings but… *gestures vaguely at this incident right here*).

It’s just an incredibly disastrous toxic sludge of a relationship. And, I know I was more vague about this one, but honestly, I could write a novel about it… so, I’ll spare you.

3.) Reylo (aka Rey Palpatine/Skywalker and Kylo Ren)

I hate this one too… mainly because Kylo tells Rey that she’s “nothing” except to him in “The Last Jedi” and that bothers me. This is something a narcissist might say to someone they’re abusing and gaslighting in an attempt to make them stick around, and that is just gross.

If Rey had actually been a nobody, it may have been less offensive, but she’s a fucking Palpatine. She’s not a nobody. Her grandfather (who isn’t actually her “grandfather” as her father was just a Palpatine clone, and goddamn, I’m going to need a better explanation for all of that shit because it just makes me dizzy, but I digress) was an oppressive emperor that reigned in terror for decades. She’s far from a nobody. In fact, Kylo’s grandfather (actual grandfather, not a clone) was Palpatine’s bitch. He should at least show her a little respect.

He was also generically mean to her during the entire sequel trilogy.

This one ended in death too, but at least it was Kylo’s and not Rey’s death. Again, Rey exhibited this weird mental exercise where she sees Kylo Ren and Ben Solo as two different people instead of them being one-in-the-same (much like the mental gymnastics that everyone does with Vader), so she tries to validate the whole thing. But, he’s an asshole too. She should have faced it.

[starboundanon]

Hello!!

I'll start by saying that I love your fics and really like your blog ♥️ I agree with great part of your takes, especially about how dark of a character Anakin/Vader truly is, despite the fandom woobifying him! I also apologize in advance by how big this ask is 😭

That said, there's something that always made me curious and I'm burning to ask... You've said in a previous post that you didn't like how easily Padmé forgave Anakin for everything he did in canon, that you thought it was psychotic. So what separates Padmé's unconditional forgiveness of Vader's crimes from Luke's equally unconditional forgiveness, for you? I mean, both characters were personally, terribly hurt by Vader. I admit that my knee-jerk reaction when I see people with a similar opinion is always "oh, it's sexism, because Padmé is a woman and Luke is a man, and compassion from a man is revolutionary while compassion from a woman makes her weak" 🙄 but you've always seemed so sensible and reasonable and that can't be the case with you. So I'm genuinely curious about your perspective! Especially because you ship Vaderluke like I do, and Luke and Vader's relationship under romantic lenses gets easier to compare with Anidala.

(Also this entire ask works under the assumption that you do appreciate Luke's forgiveness of Vader, despite knowing he was a terrible father in canon—a far cry from fanon's Dad Vader—and obviously didn't deserve it. I got the vibe from your fics and your posts that you do! But if you don't and you think RotJ shouldn't have ended like that, actually, then I understand that I clowned and you can just ignore this 🤡)

I agree with you that a lot of the heat Padmé gets in the Star Wars fandom (while Luke is canonized for essentially carrying her legacy and vindicating her beliefs) is the result of sexism. But in my own experience within this fandom, anon, I’ve seen sexism against her in the opposite way that you’ve described, and it was that sexism that I was reacting to in the ask you’re referring to here, and the reason why I unintentionally sounded so snarly.

Playing that ask game came on the heels of reading post after post after post praising Padmé for her unwavering faith and loyalty, for her selfless forgiveness, for her unconditional love for her husband. And while, yeah, sure, those things are technically all virtues, praising a woman for having those qualities in response to her mass murderer husband slaughtering hundreds of children REEKS of sexism and tone-deafness to me.

Because that really is the perfect woman, isn’t it? She’s loyal to you no matter what you do, you are the only thing she wants in the whole galaxy (despite being rich, with an important, full-time career, pregnant, or a fucking QUEEN). She will defend you after you’ve physically assaulted her and die believing you were a good man. She will forgive you, love you unconditionally, ignore every single one of your red flags and literally die of a broken heart if you betray her. A flawless, devoted woman!

…At least, at the time of answering that ask, that was the spiel I had gotten from a myriad of stanakins, and from George Lucas’ writing after watching AotC for the first time. I was reactive and unnecessarily vicious in that ask — and I apologize for being that way — because I don’t think Padmé’s unwavering dedication to Anakin is admirable, anon. I think it’s unhealthy. And I LOVE that it’s unhealthy — I’m a darkfic writer, I love unhealthy ships! — but I was just so sick and tired of people giving Padmé the Virgin Mary treatment when her relationship with Anakin was fucking UNHINGED.

Luke’s forgiveness of Vader has its own undertones of unhealthiness, but it also has things Padmé’s doesn’t. Even when Luke can feel Anakin’s conflicted feelings through their Force bond, he still has moments where he doubts there’s actually still good in his father, where he declares him dead like Obi-Wan did, when he lashes out and tries to KILL him for threatening Leia — Luke forgives Vader, yes, but at least we get to see him being ANGRY with him. We don’t get that with Padmé. Anakin confesses to murdering Tusken children and Padmé looks at him like THIS for fuck’s sake

The only reason we don’t get to see Padmé pick up a blaster and aim it at his grinning face on Mustafar IS sexism, imo. She’s eight months pregnant! Where’s the rage? Where’s the resentment? She has none, she isn’t allowed any! Why? We can debate it till we’re blue in the face, but I will always consider it a massive disservice to Padmé’s character that she was denied the humanity Luke was given in the OT, to the point that her and Anakin’s relationship came across as so ridiculously codependent it was almost silly.

[mixsethaddams]

Knife To The Throat

Day 4 for @febuwhump. (Yes I know I’m late I’m catching up as best I can. I’ll add all these to ao3 soon too, I might end up just bulk posting them all there by the 28th instead of on tumblr.)

Steve Harrington, Robin Buckley, Jim Hopper, Joyce Byers, Murray, Enzo

Words: 1166

Warnings: The title should be treated as a red flag. PTSD. Implied murder-suicide.

Steve never truly recovered from everything that went on in the Upside Down. 

None of them did, to be fair. They had their mandated therapy sessions and various hospital appointments to make sure their core temperature wasn’t showing any signs of harbouring a parasite. Everyone else seemed to be able to move on though, and that’s where Steve fell down. 

He listened to Hopper tell a story about the war once. The Chief detailed the emotions that still overwhelmed him when he thought back on it, how he struggled to fire his gun to protect himself because it reminded him of being right back there in the dark, surrounded by enemies and with no way out. Hopper spoke of nightmares, of sudden flashes of moments he thought his life was over, of losing his friends. Steve listened with wide eyes and it felt like his own thoughts were being read aloud by someone else. But Steve wasn’t a solider, so it couldn’t be the same thing, right? He was probably just being dramatic, so Steve never mentioned how he felt to his therapist either. He didn’t listen to any of Hopper’s war stories after that. 

Steve kept it buried as well as he could. He didn’t always manage to be entirely subtle about his reaction to the little things that triggered whatever it was he was going through. Sometimes he was already in the middle of grabbing the nearest weapon by the time he snapped out of it. Passing it off as a joke to the right person was easy, Tommy Hagan thought it was hilarious when Steve picked up a rock and threw it at a particularly large black labrador. The dog was fine; Steve managed to abort the throw just in time. Steve was not ok, however. He couldn’t help but think how awful it would have been if he actually hit the poor dog. 

“Steve, you need to listen to me,”

Steve never lost the control he worked so hard to keep. Well, almost never. He punched one of Jason Carver’s friends in the face at a memorial service. He was out cold immediately and it took three people to stop Steve from kicking the poor boy in the head when he was on the ground. Fuck that guy. He deserved it. He should never have said that Steve couldn’t protect Max from Eddie Munson. Didn't know what the fuck he was talking about. Sure, the reaction was a bit bigger than what most people would have had, but Steve protected his friends as best he could, and that prick made Lucas cry by talking about Max. 

“It’s ok, it’s all ok, you don’t need to- Can you please look at me?”

His feelings of being a total failure were already high in his throat, and it boiled over right as he was being dragged away from the memorial by someone speaking fucking Russian. 

He screamed at them and wriggled out of their grip, falling heavy onto the ground as they finally got him out of the building. Hopper and Murray stood with their hands outstretched, palms up, placating him. Another man Steve didn’t recognise stood with them, eyebrow cocked in stoic concern. As he asked the others if this boy is ok, he looks like he is having heart attack maybe?, his accent made Steve’s blood run cold. No, no. They were not letting him go back into that bunker, they were not handing him right back over to the enemy. Steve’s vision swam as he turned and ran, ignoring the shouts behind him. 

It didn’t take long for a small group to find him in his parents’ kitchen, backed into a corner with one knife pressed to his throat and another swinging wildly to stop anyone coming too close. Blood from his neck dripped down onto the white shirt he wore to the earlier ceremony. 

“I’m not going back there,” he hissed, slicing through the air in front of him as Joyce tried to approach. 

“I know, I know,” she soothed, taking a step back and holding her hands up in surrender. “We’re going to stay right here, okay?”

Steve’s eyes flew around the room, looking for escape. He was boxed in. Hopper and Murray were in the doorway, Robin blocked the back door. The Russian was standing near Murray. Too close to Robin. She was exposed. He couldn’t protect her like this. 

Steve lunged forward and grabbed Robin, spinning her around so her back was against his chest. He held her tight and moved one of the knives from his neck, to her throat. She gripped tight to his forearm, trying desperately to pull it away. Steve was strong from years of sports and fighting, much too strong for her to compete with. She couldn’t move him. 

“Steve please-” she gasped, feeling the already blood-warmed metal against her skin. 

“I won’t let them take us,” he whispered into her ear. “They won’t get us,”

Steve glared over Robin’s shoulder at the tight faces around him. Hopper moved towards them and Steve spun around to slash a knife in his direction. Robin’s fingers tightened even more around his arm and the blade dug into her skin, adding her own blood now to the mess. Joyce’s eyes went wide as she watched Jim try get close.

“None of you are taking us back down there, do you understand me?” said Steve, his voice far too calm. Hopper felt a panic rise up in his gut at the deadpan tone. 

“Steve, Steve, sweetheart, please,” said Joyce softly.

“I kill us both first,” said Steve, bringing the spare knife back to rest just below his adam’s apple. “You won’t get either of us,”

“They don’t want us,” cried Robin gently, her feet kicking out as she tried to stay on her tip toes to avoid the pain of the tool digging into her neck. “They’re our friends,”

Steve kissed the side of her head and buried his face in her hair. His wild eyes glared out sideways at the others in the room. 

“Shhh, shhh, I thought so too,” he said shakily, pressing his back harder into the wall behind him. 

“Please kid, come on,” said Hopper, one hand on his gun and the other stretched out in front of him. The Russian already had a gun trained on Steve. Murray was frantically dialling a number on the phone that hung on the kitchen wall. The knife against Steve’s neck flew out to point at Hopper briefly before returning to squeeze against his already torn skin. “Put them down, and we can talk,”

“No!” snapped Steve. Everyone froze as his hands visibly tensed around each of the handles. 

“Love you Rob, you hear me?” said Steve. “I have to keep you safe, it’s the only way,”

“Not like this,” she pleaded. “We’ll find another way to escape,”

“Put them down, Steve!” called Hopper, now pointing his gun.

Steve planted another kiss to Robin’s temple. 

“No,”

[sterlingarcher23]

- Henry/Vecna is dumb -

There, I said it. You are giving this guy way to much credit. - He is not playing four dimensional chess, nor is he two steps ahead of the party, this guy is not very intelligent, he is an ignorant 12 year old in the body of an adult with a magnifying glass. (Which is actually fitting since his opponents are kids themselves ; they are fighting against the school yard bully even though he doesn't look like one.)

First of all: Foresight is not one of his abilities (please check with the Fandom Wiki. None of his victims had it either). What he showed Nancy was his power fantasy (they just reused the shots).

1. Ignorance: When Max entered his mind lair, he was confused by it (she later stated that she had the feeling that she was not meant to be there). However, Henry did not ask himself what was going on - he wasn't curious at all how she did it. That's already a red flag, telling us that his intellect goes only as far as his revenge goes.

2. Speaking of victims: A man with a plan has a back up. What if one of his victims leaves Hawkins? Or dies in an accident. Whatever. No backup plan or person in case things don't go as planned. - And through Will we do know that things didn't go as planned. If he is so clever why not have such a backup? It also shows that he didn't learn from experience.

3. His latest plan didn't go as he wanted it to go. The proof is in the show, when Will says (who actually IS still connected to Henry) that he is out there, hurt and angry. - If things were gone as planned, then why is he angy? Oh... Because Nancy, Steve and Robin held a barbecue party with him and shot him. If he is playing four dimensional chess as some think, then why didn't he secure his physical body with more protection. Demodogs or something, anything he keeps super close. Yes, they use that little concert to distract the demobats from the house but something tells me that wouldn't necessarily work with all the entities in the UD and even if: Learning from experience (Music helped Max. Can I counteract this next time - if Max's Walkman wouldn't have been crashed, Lucas would have been able to help her maybe.) or actually having foresight or just a little bit of brain would have prevented things from going not as planned.

Like throwing a welcome party for any intruder at known gates. Isn't he and/or the Mind flayer aware of those? He got into Nancy's mind but didn't see that they were using a specific gate to get into the UD? Or at least send out his minions to find unsecured gates and say hello next time they dare to enter. Like.... The freaking curse portals! - No matter how you look at it, Henry did nothing to take precautions at any point. The vines incident only happened because Robin is clumsy. (not blaming you, Robin) Worst Bond villain ever. He was lucky that his plan wasn't foiled completely:

Zero points for Slythering for having sheer dumb luck.

4. He didn't plan on using Max. He just didn't. No idea why people believe that nonsense (similar to the Vecna has her "soul" which is debunked by the show itself that e.g. showed her being herself and aware of Lucas for a reason AND the script - "Like when Eleven sent One into another dimension." - The writers gave us a huge clue that Max's mind is in another dimension and not with Vecna .). And yes, sorry, but it is nonsense. It defies storytelling logic:

Henry wanted to kill her to make his plan work and suck her out via psychic absorption as a bonus. That El came around was not planned but he decided to use that and torture her, taking revenge, "Now I want you to watch", by killing and absorbing Max in front of her eyes. He even says it "It will be over soon", meaning Max would be gone. Why say all this if he intended to do something completely different with Max? Because if his ritual would have been successful, her destroyed body wouldn't be of much use. He wanted to take revenge by destroying Max and then kill El. And he didn't absorb her, nor did he lose on purpose as Will's statement confirms, to then use Max or whatever....

El saved Max and resurrected her, sent her mind into another dimension according to the script and now she is an unknown factor for Mr. "I have big plans" - That's it. Everything else is just defying the narrative and logic in itself. It's the dumbest of ideas ever.

But I guess this other nonsense gives you a lot of clicks and ad revenue on YouTube?... Same people made up things like "Brenner is Vecna" or something before S4 was released. Based on what? (At least give it some thought - especially when you make money with it.) It's honestly infuriating that people get clicks with nonsensical stuff like that and use doctored images as thumbnails to draw attention....But I guess it's similar to so called journalists on nerd sites that don't question the Duffer's contradicting statements and copy paste from one another. Sorry for the rant.

One could just also mention what's in the show itself in terms of symbolism like for example using flower imagery in regards to El or the pinecone in Lucas's hand. El revived Max by using a psychic bond via her own mind - the pure antithesis of what Henry does. Or looking at specific songs used that foretell several plot elements very precisely. Admittedly it's probably to subtextual. Anyway....as usual I digress.

Then of course El interrupted the ritual. The look on his face was already pretty telling: Surprised. Even shocked. - That he says "You've already lost" is only true because he knew that Max would die anyway through the psychic link during the ritual. He brought her to the brink of a heart attack. This link however was then completely separated by the trio in the Upside down when they attacked his body. He disolved and in the UD he didn't look pleased.

He could further not anticipate that El would revive Max and it wasn't him having anything to do with this either. For several reasons: A) is subtextual: the use of red light in contrast to blue light. That's signaling El's interference for example in the snowball room when it appears too when the camera pans up to her. And it's not a super crimson light but more slightly blueish (I will discuss El and her color later). It's a visual clue besides the memories and the sound used (not to mention the Neverending Story song lyrics that apply here and later in the hospital). B) the flower imagery and how they established El and Henry as foils, inverses... opposites. C) The most obvious: If Lucas wouldn't have dragged Max away, her body would have been desintigrated as the portal opens, clearly shown by the death of real world villain number 2 (forgot his name). D) all of what Henry does is telling us a lot about his character. He's not good in planning, he actually just does things. He lacks intelligence and interest, he is ignorant. He was surprised and not interested in finding out why Max entered his mind lair, as he was confused when El fought back in the lab and sent him in another dimension.

Henry is just a kid that wants to beat you with his toy shovel because you accidentally destroyed his sand castle. He is a bit manipulative but then he was able to make a bullied kid believe he's an ally by putting on a friendly face. I wouldn't say that he is that great at these things either since it doesn't need so much to do that.

Honestly, saying Henry does not plan very well is very generous. His "plans" always get screwed up and he makes up something new as he goes along. So to speak those aren't even real plans: That's just doing things.

At best...

[csvent-2]

Big red flag that the Succubuns owners aka Luca and Yves shuts down public discussions about problems as soon as they can. They don't have a public feedback channel so people can't make criticisms or suggestions. Instead, you have to do it privately through a Google Form, which allows them to ignore things if they wanted to. The whole Matentines stuff rubbed me the wrong way since I know I was super uncomfortable with the breeding stuff. I never sent in a form though but apparently others did.

They addressed people being uncomfortable in a blog post and made minor adjustments to it being very public. But the whole time they talked about it, they kept emphasizing how it wasn't that many people complaining about it. To me that seems like bull because they don't address things unless there's a lot of backlash. It was just weird to me in general they kept emphasizing that it's not that many people who dislike it, but then went on to basically defend their reasoning about adding breeding and making it a super big deal to explain everything about why they're keeping it. Not to mention the very end of the post was them literally saying it was the end of conversation, implying they don't care about anything else people have to say about it.

🌸

[yyukhei]

Lol I sent this to a fic account that writes smut and hates Lucas. You can literally see in her pinned post that she explicitly says she doesn't support Lucas like she's the moral police or something. I couldn't help myself because I'm sick and tired of tolerating and being nice with these self righteous smut writers—

"You're so up your own ass that you don't even bother to research and inform yourself that the original account who accused Lucas was/is a marketing account that's already been sold. I don't even want to be nice at this point because you and so many other fic writers on this app think you're moral champions because you don't write for Lucas while you write the filthiest shit about real people. Not hating about the fanfiction, just saying that there's no place for thinking that your morals are so high in comparison to those who believe in innocent until proven guilty or who believe in Lucas's innocence from the piles of recorded evidence that sm did not even bother to do. And it's quite telling that you don't find it a red flag at how sm did not even bother to give a proper statement for him and is simply just waiting for everything to simmer down because they're incompetent in protecting their artists— especially their foreign artists. You can ignore this ask or give me a smug and snarky answer, I don't care. But I hope you read all the evidence proving his innocence before you do the same to anybody else in the future. Yes, someone's reputation very much impacts their livelihood, so don't even act like the rhetoric you're spreading isn't harmful."

And I linked 4 sources of evidence and if she still doesn't open her eyes then I don't know what to say lmao

Damn anon, that's savage lmao but i cant blame you for being fed up

when ppl so loudly declare themselves ot6 they open themselves up to questioning and criticism. but the fact that so many people ignore the evidence is baffling??? ive seen so many ppl on twitter saying its antifeminist to still support and im BAFFLED

"we have to believe the victim to support women"??? what happened to innocent until proven guilty???

[amorisland]

My LI UK S8E2 thoughts

I can’t get over the age gap with Davide and Gemma it gives me the ick so badly I really hope he doesn’t pick her

I love to see the friendship brewing between Indiyah and Amber and I like how Indiyah was like “no its disrespectful that I can’t remember his (Ikenna’s) name” 

I really like Luca’s glasses with the chain… I just really like him idk why even though I have a feeling he might be a fuck boy and if he’s around with Casa Amor I have a bad feeling about it sigh

I feel like Dami isn’t interested in Amber idk I just get the feeling he’s waiting for someone else to come in :/

The way the boys are so confused whenever the girls are mentioned or shown to kiss other girls lol 

I’m dying at how Luca asked Paige her favorite sex position then immediately forgot it, I’ll take it that he was flustered and saw Amber’s big reaction to the question and in the moment was like “oh yeah it must be her because of the reaction” because right after it blinked red he was like “oh shit yeah it’s Paige” honestly I think he has the right spirit but is a little confused lol

Andrew looks so much like Curtis I can’t take him seriously I’m sorry 

Amber’s evening outfit is stunning 

Fuck of course Davide picks Gemma I need this couple to go home NOW its so uncomfortable I actually hate it, should’ve known when Davide says he goes for younger girls but that’s TOO young 🤢

[muertawrites]

Cheaper by the Dozen (Eddie Munson x Reader)

Summary: idk just Eddie being a dad to his adoptive child Dustin

Author’s Note: i adore the idea of eddie and reader being surrogate siblings / parents to dustin and the other geeks. i don’t want kids but i’ll be real bummed if i don’t get to be the cool aunt at some point in my life. eddie and reader are aged up because i’m 26 and need a man with a fully developed frontal lobe. (unrelated side note: i’m a redhead and i would literally melt into a puddle if eddie regularly called me “red” like he did max. muerta.exe has stopped working.)

Dustin was a good kid. A great kid. Spending time with him, watching him grow up from the little boy you used to babysit on weeknights into the snarky, slightly larger boy he now was made you happier than you'd ever let him know (his ego was already huge and you didn't want to inflate it).

There were just days when you wished he'd leave you the hell alone.

Your closeness with Dustin wasn't helped by the fact that he was also super close with your boyfriend, Eddie. Ever since joining the Dungeons and Dragons club for teens Eddie ran as a volunteer at the Hawkins Library ("See, you're not as scary as you look. You're soft and gooey on the inside." "Shut up. I'm metal as fuck." "You're so cute when you're grumpy." "Babe, please. Let me have this."), Dustin was attached at his hip, adopting him as a surrogate brother the way he'd done you as a sister. It was nice getting to hang with both of them, joking with Eddie about already having a kid together and who would get custody if you were to ever break up, but Dustin sometimes had a hard time with boundaries.

Like this morning, when he stormed into Eddie's bedroom, rudely waking you both from a peaceful slumber.

"What are you guys still doing in bed?" he demanded, pulling up the blinds to let in the morning sunlight. "We've gotta get going!"

Eddie groaned, reaching for the blanket and pulling it over your heads. Dustin ripped it back down, to which Eddie responded with a string of curses.

"Dustin, you should really stop walking in on us," you grumbled. You opened your eyes just enough to look at him, squinting through the haze of your grogginess. "We have sex in here. Is Eddie's bare ass really something you want burned in your memory?"

"You never complain about it," Eddie mumbled. You pinched the softness of his stomach, to which he grinned, eyes still shut.

"This is important," Dustin argued. "It's Hellfire's Six Flags day! Mike and Lucas are waiting outside."

Eddie raised his wrist to check his watch, squashing you between his arm and chest. He sighed.

"It's seven in the morning, dude. We don't leave until eleven."

"We've gotta talk strategy. Which coasters we ride and what order we ride them in could make or break our experience."

"He's got a point," you yawned into Eddie's t-shirt. "If you don't plan your meals right, he'll puke."

Eddie ignored your advice, opting instead to hug you closer, his arms wrapping around you in a protective cocoon to block out the light and noise Dustin wreaked upon you.

"Mommy and daddy are sleeping," he dismissed. "Go play outside."

Dustin scoffed.

"Can we at least hang out inside while we wait, or are you gonna be gross back here?"

"Nah, we don't need any more kids," Eddie deadpanned. "You guys can come in. Just shut up and don't touch my stuff."

Dustin sprinted from the room, rattling the floor as he went. A few moments later, the chaos of three teenage boys rumbled through the trailer, making it impossible for you to fall back asleep. Eddie growled in frustration, stubbornly pulling the blankets up around you once again.

"We remembered to get condoms, yeah?" he asked.

"Yeah. Why?"

"Because I'll be damned if I ever spawn a little gremlin like that."

You giggled, pressing a kiss to his chin and savoring the scratch of his stubble against your lips.

"I dunno," you teased. "I kind of like the idea of calling you 'daddy'."

Eddie hummed, a devilish grin curling across his handsomely round cheeks. He kissed you, playfully pulling your lower lip between his teeth. 

“You think if we’re loud enough they’ll fuck off?” he wonders wantonly, hands roving up and down your body. You laugh. 

“Not in front of the kids, Eddie.” 

🌹💀get your eddie fix💀🌹

[2jaeh]

ORPHIC : YUTA X READER

genre: smut, angst

warnings: mature themes, enemies to lovers kinda, kinda toxic theme, multiple smut scenes, swearing, alcohol, toys. 

slight jenoxreader 

word count : 17,5k (sorrry he’s my ult)

author: sin! 

You and Yuta never had a good relationship within your group of friends. The closest the two of you ever came to even slightly caring about each other was...in bed. After some friendly advice you decide to venture out of this toxicity and an old friend comes to the rescue. Thinking things will finally settle and you are ready to move on, Yuta comes to the realization that he wasn't a fan of you leaving him for someone else. 

A/N: WHOA this took me so long to write and rn its 2am and I barely proofread anything and just wanted to post it already! ALSO I just wanted to add Jeno is practically my ult as well and I wanted to use him for this scenario ! I promise Ill make it up to you guys with a full length fic of him lol Anyways enjoy. 

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

You couldn’t understand why you hated him so much. Was it the way he did his hair ? The way he rolled his eyes at every snarky remark you directed at him ?

Or was it the way he stared at you from across the room, a smirk on his face signaling that it was going to be one of those nights.

You joined this collective of artists or the “blank space” as you were known to the public, a year ago. The team did everything from clothing to organizing crazy exhibitions, and the best part of it all was that the team members remained anonymous.

Now some of the members were already in the spotlight for their personal artworks and collections but anything under blank space was under that name only, promoted only under its respective social media accounts. The collective was founded by Taeyong, an introverted guy you met at a fashion show you once worked at. He approached you the night your art hit the runway and you’ve been working for him ever since.

You didn’t know everybody under Blank Space except for the people Taeyong trusted the most. Which from possibly 50 designers, only reduced to a total of nine close friends.

Taeyong, Johnny, Ten, Renjun, YangYang, Doyoung, Sungchan, Lucas and You.

And then, there was one person you called a friend when the mood was right. When he was not being an absolute pain in the ass.

Yuta Nakamoto.

————————————————————————

“So there’s a launch happening this weekend over at the shed” Taeyong announced to your friend group who were barely paying attention thanks to Yangyang attempting to stuff four marshmallows into his mouth. “Come on you can do one more” Lucas edged him on while Renjun shook his head disapprovingly and Sungchan tried to suppress his laughter.

“Guys please pay attention” Doyoung, the only type of authority around here spoke up, finally quieting down the room and allowing his best friend to speak.

Taeyong cleared his throat and shifted nervously as all eyes were focused on him again. “I’d like all of us to attend, maybe look for a new recruit” the timid pink haired boy spoke and everyone nodded knowing the routine of these launches at this point.

“Can we party hard or is this just one of those save face kinda gigs ?” Yuta raised his hand and the spark in Lucas’s eyes indicated that he may have had the same idea.

You rolled your eyes and crossed your leg over the other, “Yuta’s having a dry spell he wants to find some damsel in distress to get into his bed” you turned to him and he only smirked at your snarky comment.

“Well now y/n it’s only because you haven’t been in the mood for my dick lately” he pouted and Renjun threw his head back, followed by groans from both Johnny and Ten.

“I’m not in the mood for the two of you today seriously” Ten chimed in, rubbing his temples just waiting for this group meeting to be over. “Yeah me too” Johnny added, “you two fight the entire week then hook up over the weekend, we are tired.”

“Why are you guys tired ? Are you doing the fighting and fucking ?” Yuta scoffed and Doyoung jumped to his feet, folding his arms across his chest as he looked down at the scowling black haired man,

“This is a work meeting. If it's not about work” Doyoung eyes moved to you, “then we don’t want to hear about it.”

You nodded after getting reprimanded but Yuta being Yuta just snickered and downed the rest of his coffee, unbothered by what any of the people in the room had to say about him.

“Okay then well I’ll see you guys Friday night, if you find a possible recruitment just text the group chat and we will decide as a team then and there” Taeyong wrapped up the meeting and everyone dispersed back to their work stations to finish up any outstanding projects.

Blank Space had its own office block but you guys were the only ones with a private floor at the very end of the hallway, far away from the part-timers.

Everyone had their own cubicle made up of makeshift drywall, so it was private but not private enough. Taeyong felt that closed offices made no sense for a room of creatives and when working on bigger projects it was easier for members to move their stations to their partners' cubicles.

Your cubicle though had the unfortunate fate of being placed in front of Yuta. The members had tried to swap with either of you but neither of you budged. Moving meant there was a problem and showing that you had an actual problem with the other person meant it could sabotage the team and things may go sour.

So both of you conceded. Trying your absolute best to stay out of the other person's way during work hours. But it was impossible when bickering was just something you guys did.

From the very beginning You and Yuta had disagreed on almost everything. Both of you were pretty stubborn people and had a very similar mindset. Then on a random drunken night Johnny suggested that you and Yuta needed to release your anger in bed and the next day you’d be best friends. Yuta was pretty adamant on the idea and not only did you hook up once, it became this ongoing hell of fighting, building up your anger and releasing it during mind blowing sex.

Neither of you questioned the abnormality of your relationship. Rather, you ignored the red flags and the toxicity of it all and just assumed attraction only happened through liquor, high sexual needs and boredom.

“Hey y/n sorry about snapping like that earlier” Doyoung stepped into your cubicle, his gummy smile showing as he nervously scratched his head.  “It’s no problem, I’m sorry about my stupid comment” you pressed your lips together feeling a tad guilty that it all started because of you.

“You guys really love riling each other up don’t you?” Doyoung took a seat opposite you which was a bit unnatural for anyone who walked by. Doyoung was a very reserved person and never bothered to converse with any of you besides Taeyong. Unlike the rest of you Doyoung was recruited to handle finances and foresee the operation. He appreciated the arts but never delved in it, hence his awkwardness with the openness and unhinged personalities of the group.

“I get that it can be...exhausting” you sighed, propping your elbows up on the counter and pouting.

“Then why do you continue ?” Doyoung quizzed and you shrugged, “stress relief ?”

Doyoung chuckled at your words and pushed his spectacles up his bridge, “you guys are the ones stressing each other out,” Doyoung turned back to look at Yuta who was busy sketching and turned back to face you,

“All I’m saying is that maybe it’s time to look for a stress reliever that doesn’t result in anger the very next day, you guys need to move on.”

Move on.

Doyoung’s words swam in your mind hours after the short conversation had ended and you wondered if it was indeed time to move on. You looked up from your desk and to your surprise Yuta’s eyes were locked with yours as he twirled a lollipop in his mouth.

The issue was, as much as you hated him you couldn’t deny he was so goddamn hot. From the long hair to the edgy attire, physically he was your type. Personality on the other hand, it was like nails against a chalkboard.

Unbearable.

You kept your eyes locked with him until he slowly pulled the sweet out of his mouth, licked his lips and blew you a cheeky kiss from across the room.

“Moron” you mumbled and shook your head trying to ignore his devilish motives and get back to work.

Doyoung was right. You definitely needed to find someone to distract yourself from Yuta’s hold over you.

———————————————————————-

It was the night of the launch and everybody showed up with their own rides and  began mingling with former clients and partners. You arrived with Ten and Lucas who already decided to pre-game drinks just in case ‘there wasn’t enough at the party.’

“Hey please do us a favor and not hook up with Yuta tonight��� Ten wrapped his arm around your shoulder as the two of you maneuvered through the groups of people. “Not planning on it” you replied in his ear, “and besides Doyoung already beat you to that pep talk.”

“Doyoung ?” Ten wrinkled his nose before ordering the two of you a mojito from the open bar.

“Yeah he said that I should move on, possibly find a new hookup” you shrugged, retrieving the drink and headed to a balcony that overlooked the first floor of the launch party. There were bodies of people everywhere, networking, checking out merchandise or just getting plain wasted.

“Seems like Lucas has already been cut off from the open bar” Ten pointed out, watching the tall man try to push his way back to the bar but the bouncer refused him to do so.

“Let me go help him out, I'll catch up later” Ten sighed and gave you a pat on your shoulder, “and yeah find a new hookup, if Yuta gets to sleep around so can you.”

You watched Ten disappear into the crowd and twirled the glass in your hand wishing what he had said was that easy.

There were no rules about hooking up with other people or just any reinforcements in general when it came to you and Yuta. But you we’re well aware of his loose sex life. There were many times where Yuta ended up going home with some random person if he wasn’t in the mood to hook up with you. But You on the other hand, never bothered these days because you were either too busy or whoever you met just ended up boring you to death.

“Y/n ?” You heard someone say from behind you and to your surprise it was a face you hadn’t seen in years.

“Jeno ? Oh my God” you quickly gave the blonde boy a quick hug, taken back by how much he had filled out since high school.

Jeno used to help you out from time to time during proms and fashion shows, lending out his strength to build anything from sculptures to installation art in the city.

“I was wondering when I was going to bump into you at one of these shows” his bright smile turned his eyes into crescents as he joined you at the balustrade. The Jeno you knew in high school was a lanky shy kinda guy but the Jeno you saw now was confident, mature and outright gorgeous.

“I’m quite surprised seeing you here actually” you chuckled shyly, “I didn’t know you’d pursue anything in this field to be honest.”

“Wow” Jeno mouthed and cutely grinned, “hmm that kinda hurt considering I’m the one who made the centerpiece of this entire launch”

Your eyes widened as you looked down at the structure of colored sharpies bound together to create a giant rubix cube in the middle of the party. “Holy shit that’s awesome my boss would absolutely love you” you gasped, knowing Taeyong absolutely loved installation art especially at a large scale like this.

“Oh who’s your boss ? I’m actually a free agent right now” Jeno replied and you quickly remembered the reason you were even at the launch in the first place. “Wait! We’re looking for recruits right now, let me just tell the others about it” you said excitedly, handing Jeno your drink and pulled up the group chat on your phone.

A few minutes later everyone confirmed the meeting place of a private room located on the second floor, quiet enough for a quick interview and decision. The best part of this job was everyone was so connected that there was no need to go through the process of a full portfolio look and a million interviews, all you needed was a trusted ally within the group to vouch for you and you were already one foot in.

“Ten and Yangyang took Lucas home after he tried to challenge the bartender to an arm wrestling match” Johnny entered the room and sipped his whiskey while Renjun and Sungchan followed close behind him. Taeyong and Doyoung stood in front of the room discussing something amongst themselves while you and Jeno took a seat on the burgundy couch.

Yuta entered shortly after, drink in hand and you noticed his eyes narrow in on Jeno who sat close to you. “Okay everyone who’s able to make it is here let’s get started” Taeyong clasped his hands together, “everybody this is Jeno Lee and a long time friend of y/n.”

“Not that long but yeah we did work together” Jeno chuckled and got to his feet, “well I’m an installation artist, I actually made the centerpiece in tonight’s launch.”

“Wow, it's amazing!” Renjun complimented and Sungchan agreed, giving Jeno a thumbs up, “yeah man that piece is brilliant.”

Jeno smiled from ear to ear as the meeting proceeded with everyone going through a few of Jenos works and what he could bring to the team. While your teammates concentrated on Jenos work all you could concentrate on was Jeno himself.

You wondered if Jeno knew how gorgeous he was in his effortless tank top and denim jeans combo. You hoped no one caught you staring but someone was well aware of your actions.

Yuta watched how you looked at the young guy, he wasn’t stupid, he knew when you found someone attractive and the way you were ogling Jeno right now, he didn’t like it at all.

The meeting ended and everyone welcomed Jeno to the collective. Johnny gave him a few pointers on which coffee to order from the cafe next to the office and Sungchan exchanged gamer tags with his new friend.

“I’ll see you guys on Monday” you waved as everyone exited the meeting and before you could make your way to catch up with Jeno and Sungchan you were being pulled back into the room.

“Your place or mine ?” Yuta mused and snaked an arm around your waist, looking down at you with dark eyes.

“Neither” you responded, “I’m gonna hang with Jeno and head home, you should find that little damsel to play with”

“Don’t be difficult y/n we're long overdue for our therapy session now” he groaned, pressing his lips to your ear and jaw. As much as he aroused you by just breathing you thought about what Doyoung had said, you needed to move on from this mess.

“Listen I think we need to just stop our sessions” you stepped away from him leaving Yuta slightly taken back from your actions, “let’s move on, be out of each other’s way and not make the group uncomfortable okay ?”

Yuta watched you press your lips together and finally make your exit, leaving him completely alone. You denied his advances for the first time since the two of you started sleeping together and something in him broke.

————————————————————————

Monday came around and the whole team buzzed about Jeno joining the team. Usually a new recruit would hang downstairs with the part time designers but because Taeyong trusted your judgement on Jeno, he was able to integrate with the team.

“Man that Jeno guy seems real chill” Yangyang hopped alongside Johnny and Yuta who were doing the morning coffee run. Yuta kept his composure despite knowing he wasn’t a huge fan of someone new joining the team and throwing off the dynamic. Hands in his pocket he ignored Yangyangs endless questions about the meeting, allowing Johnny to entertain the eager young boy.

“All I know is that having Jeno around means I don’t have to do all the carrying when Lucas bails on me” Johnny sipped his drink as they made their way back to their office. To their surprise Jeno had just arrived, looking like a lost puppy as he examined the names of the floors next to the secretary desk.

“Speak of the devil” Johnny threw his arm around Jeno, startling the boy and led him over to the elevator, “we’re at the top floor newbie, make sure to get an access card from Taeyong.”

“T-thanks” Jeno grinned and bowed politely to both Yuta and Yangyang before stepping into the elevator. The other guys barely bothered with Yuta’s reaction to Jeno because he rarely liked anyone enough to show any sign of enthusiasm. Jeno wasn’t going to change that.

The elevator opened to the top floor and Jeno awed at the chilled atmosphere you all had created here. From Ten’s thousands of plants around the room, Taeyongs fish, a pool table brought in by Lucas and gaming stations set up by Sungchan, it looked like paradise.

“This....is so cool oh my God” Jeno stepped in, his eyes wandering all over the place until it locked on you hanging over at the fish tank with Taeyong.

“Y/n!” Jeno jogged over and you greeted him with a wide smile and a tight hug, “Jeno you made it!” You gleamed. Jeno quickly shook Taeyong’s hand unsure of how formal of a boss he actually was.

“Whoa I feel like a principal” Taeyong giggled as he dropped a few fish flakes for his babies. “Wow, does everybody have their own cubicle ?” Jeno strolled around the room taking a peak at the vast versions of decor each cubicle adorned.

“Yeah” you responded, “but I don’t think yours is ready yet right Doyoung ?”

“That’s right,” Doyoung replied and folded his arms across his chest, “you don’t mind sharing for the week do you ?”

Jeno shrugged and looked over at you, “I was hoping to catch up with y/n anyway, I don’t mind sharing if it’s okay with you ?”

“It’s perfectly fine” you assured him and gestured over to your cubicle, “me casa is su casa.”

“I’m just gonna need some admin stuff sorted Jeno can you join me for a bit ?” Doyoung asked and Jeno nodded, giving you a quick hug before heading off to the administration offices with Doyoung. You watched the blonde guy exit and something just felt so much brighter in the office. You felt a sense of excitement of what’s to come now that Jeno was back in your life. But like all sunny days there always comes a thunderstorm and yours was staring you down like he was waiting to rain on your parade.

“What ?” You blinked, and Yuta shrugged as he peeked into your cubicle. “It’s a bit small isn’t it ? Don’t think two people can work in here” he raised his brow and looked over at you.

“It’s fine” you sighed and pushed past him, “it’s only for a week and he’s not a stranger to me, why do you care ?”

“I don’t” Yuta mumbled, dragging his feet back to his cubicle leaving you questioning his slightly odd behavior. Your mind quickly snapped out of it when Jeno had made his way back, that bright smile spread across his face and suddenly it felt like sunshine filled the room once more.

“I’m back!” He sang and pulled a chair opposite you, retrieving his laptop already looking like a regular in the office.

“Did Doyoung tell you about tonight ? Our little welcoming party over at Kleo’s Sky Bar ?” You asked, skimming through your emails for the day. “Oh, yeah he did, I mean you guys don’t have to do all of this” Jeno chuckled shyly, those pretty eyes distracting you for the third time that day.

“Nah we do it for everyone, and it’s better you know everyone drunk to avoid future surprises” you pointed over to Lucas who was coaching Yangyang through a trick shot at the pool table.  “Gotcha” Jeno nodded, as he watched one of the balls fly off the table and nearly knock Renjun in the back. It was chaos absolutely everyday in the office and you knew Jeno was going to love it here.

But even with Jeno in front of you, your new distraction, your new beginning, like Doyoung and Ten had said you needed, it was a habit at this point to look across the room, wondering what Yuta was up to. You watched him remove his cardigan, exposing his arms in those loose tank tops he always loved to wear as he concentrated on a sketch in front of him. Thankfully he was fully immersed in his work for once to take notice of your eyes on him. You continued observing him, watching him nod along to probably some alternative song blaring in his headphones as he sketched away on his iPad. He was so effortlessly attractive when he wasn’t aware of it.

You needed to snap out of this daydream.

“So are you seeing anyone these days ?”

“Hmm ?”

Jeno laughed as you finally realized that he’d been talking to you and you mentally cursed yourself for even being distracted by Yuta of all people.

“I’m sorry..Uhm no I’m not seeing anyone” you replied, tucking a strand of hair behind your ear and Jeno nodded cutely, “uh good...uhm not good that you’re alone but I was hoping you weren’t...God I’m still so bad at this”

You felt your cheeks heat up seeing Jeno fumble over his words and get nervous about asking you such a question. He was so adorable and something in you also wondered if he was like this in a relationship, or in the bedroom.

Was he dominant ? Was he passive ? Yuta was very dominant and you’d even rile him up to the point of him making you shut up with his actions.

“Y/n ?” Jeno waved his hand in front of your face and you shook your head, you couldn’t believe you did it again. What the hell was wrong with you ?

“Oh my God Jeno I'm so sorry...these emails are just a pain in the ass” you lied but thankfully Jeno took the bait and nodded, “it’s okay I’ll let you get back to work, I was going to go down to the cafe, do you want anything ?”

“Yeah a cafe latte would be great thank you” You felt guilty but it was still only two days since you decided to cut off Yuta so adjusting was going to take a bit of time.

Jeno had left for the cafe and you quickly dove straight into your work, hoping the time would just fly by. That was until you heard a knock and watched Yuta saunter into your cubicle and take a seat right in front of you. You watched him prop his elbows on the table and his piercing eyes narrowed down on you as if he were waiting for an answer.

“Why are you here ?” You questioned him, doing your best to divert your attention from his chiseled arms and exposed chest.

“I want an explanation,” Yuta said calmly, his voice deep and monotone.

“To what ?” You knew fully well what he was talking about but you were really  not in the mood to talk to him about this.  Yuta sighed and cocked his head to the side, clearly annoyed by your response. “Why the fuck are we calling it quits when we are nothing to each other ? Can’t we just hook up and ignore each other as usual ?” You sensed the annoyance in his voice. Denying him that night was indeed eating him up since you’ve never done it before.

“Yuta that’s the whole point” you rubbed your temples, “if we are nothing to each other then we shouldn’t be hooking up, it just ties us together for absolutely no reason.”

Yuta stayed quiet for a bit and eventually just nodded, “fine do whatever you want I guess.” You watched him walk out, not bothering to give you a second look and you wondered if the unsettling feeling you were experiencing in this moment was how he felt two days ago.

Nothing made sense.

————————————————————————

The evening arrived and everyone was in good spirits because you were all headed to one of your favourite spots in town. “Lucas you gotta do karaoke tonight” Sungchan threw his arm around the large brown haired man as they entered the bar. “Hmm give me a few rounds of drinks first” Lucas stuck out his tongue as he gestured to the waitress to get the gang the usual table.

Thankfully tonight the bar was fairly empty which meant that the gang could really loosen up without the prying eyes of strangers wishing you’d all just leave.

“Wow this place is pretty cool” Jeno gleamed, allowing you to enter the booth first like a true gentleman before scooting right in next to you. Yuta opted for the seat at the very end as usual, so he could sneak off to smoke without bothering any of friends every couple of minutes. The position also gave him a clear view of you and Jeno who were snuggled up in the corner already lost in your own private conversation.

“Beer ?” Johnny nudged Yuta, snapping him out of his fixation. Yuta nodded and slumped back in his seat trying his best to focus on whatever Renjun and Yangyang were talking about. It’s not like him to feel this way. Usually by now he’d be seated next to you, annoying the shit out of you until he saw those pretty eyes glare at him with rage. Then after you’d have a few drinks you’d be leaning on his shoulder, playing with his rings until he offered to take you home, and then-

“To Jeno!” Lucas yelled, lifting up a shot glass of God knows what and rallied everyone to join in on his toast.

“To Jeno” you grinned leaning into Jeno’s side and clinked glasses with him. Jeno felt warm, comforting, he made it so easy for you to just enjoy having him around rather than it being a task. That’s what a healthy relationship was like wasn’t it ?

“Jeno Im glad and also sorry that you have to join the most annoying group of people ever” Doyoung half smiled and Taeyong waved his hand, “we’re not that annoying Jeno I promise” the pink haired boy reassured him despite Renjun and Ten agreeing with Doyoung’s words. Jeno just laughed it off and turned to you with a bright smile as he draped his arm over your shoulder,

“Kinda feels like fate that I bumped into you huh?”

You know he may have been joking but Jeno was really unaware that his presence really was the antidote to getting rid of the Yuta situation. The team loved him, he was someone you knew and could trust, it was all right there for you, written on paper. Nothing could possibly go wrong… right ?  

“Fourth round is on me” Taeyong held up his card to the waitress despite his tired eyes were quite evident. Everyone was well over tipsy and Lucas had already entertained the bar with his beautiful rendition of “Starboy” by The Weeknd and Johnny stepped in as his air guitar player in the back.

“Gotta go to the bathroom!” You whined while Jeno helped you to your feet as you pushed your way past a sleeping Renjun and a spaced out Sungchan. You could tell tonight was going to take a toll on everyone tomorrow morning.

You quickly exited to the back where the bathrooms were located. You walked down the dim hallway, mentally thanking yourself for not overdoing it with the alcohol as each step became darker and darker.

“Watch your step” someone said and you turned around to see Yuta leaning over a railing with a cigarette sticking out of his mouth.

“Yeah” you managed to say and entered the bathroom before he could say anything else. The lack of alcohol didn’t stop the intrusive thoughts of Yuta filling your mind as you stopped to wash your hands. All you could think about was if he was going to be there when you walked back. Was he going to say anything ? Was he going to do anything ?

Were you going to do anything ?

You stepped outside, head a little more muddled than when you walked in and your first question was answered, Yuta was still there leaning up against the wall looking ahead of him. You slowly began your journey back, keeping your head down to avoid any type of confrontation with him.

“Y/n….” He mumbled, reaching out until he had a grip on your wrist causing your eyes to look up at him. Why did he look so goddamn breathtaking right now, with his stupid black hair all messy and his eyes luring you in like a lion to it’s prey.

“W-what ?” You replied, unsure why you still allowed him to hold you or even have the nerve to stop you from getting back to the rest of your friends. Yuta pushed himself off the wall and turned your body so you were now pressed against the concrete and his body was pressed against you. Your breathing hitched as he ran his fingers lightly down your arms. His eyes concentrated on his movements while yours focused on his face, watching him bite down on his lip as he took in the position the two of you were now in.

“You remember a few weeks back and I had you up against this wall moaning my name ?” His voice was so low that it aroused you, making you mentally curse yourself for the lewd thoughts.

“Yuta…” you sighed but there was a hint of desperation in your voice surprising yourself but not really phasing Yuta at all.

“Yeah just like that” he hummed before pressing his lips to your jaw, and peppered kisses all the way down to your neck. You felt yourself willingly giving him access, melting into every kiss he placed on your warm skin. Yuta’s hands grabbed your waist and pinned you against the wall while your hands instinctively wrapped around his neck and into the soft tufts of his hair.

“Yuta…we shouldn’t…I shouldn’t” you breathed, feeling yourself pulling him closer instead of pushing him away.

“Tell me no and I’ll stop y/n '' Yuta said into your ear to which you responded by pulling him by his belt buckle and pushed yourself up to capture his lips. Yuta’s dominance finally showed when he slipped his leg in between yours, giving you the chance to gain a bit of friction your core so desperately desired at this point. You felt Yuta’s smirk in your kiss when you began grinding down on his thigh showing him the obedient whore you were for him. Nothing Yuta loved more was for you to beg for him, beg for his touch, need him. That was until the two of you heard footsteps and to your dismay it was the last person you’d ever want to see you trapped against a wall with the man you hated.

It was Lee Jeno.

“I’m sorry I - I’m sorry I’ll leave you guys alone-“ Jeno stumbled, he felt his cheeks heat up and made his quick exit out of the hallway.

“Jeno!” You called, pushing Yuta off and tried to neaten yourself. Yuta felt a heated sensation overcoming his body the moment he saw the look in your eye when you saw Jeno and the way you pushed him off like he was a piece of trash. Like he was nothing.

“You know maybe if you’d stop pretending like you don’t wanna fuck me then we can go back to normal” Yuta spat, not caring about the unfortunate situation that had just unfolded.

You turned around to face him and the next words that came out of your mouth you weren’t sure if you were going to regret it or not.

“You’re right Yuta that’s all you are to me and that’s all you ever will be, a good fuck for about an hour and that’s it. Other than that there’s no use for you. At all.”

You stormed away before Yuta could respond, but by now you would have heard his curses echoing throughout the hallway, the whole damn bar would’ve heard it. But there was nothing.

Absolute silence.

———————————————————————

It had been two weeks since the interaction with Yuta at the bar and what you had to him still resonated with you, wanting so badly to apologize. But each time you saw him at the office he paid you little to no attention, going on about his day peacefully and you didn’t want to interrupt that.

Jeno thankfully understood the situation and was more than willing to be the rebound guy, his only rule being that besides work related matters you needed to cut off communication with Yuta altogether.

‘It was the only way you’d get full closure and my mind would be at peace’ Jeno had said after you gave him the rundown of everything that had happened.

Jeno and you agreed to just casually date, nothing official and nothing too serious. You guys went on movie dates, cafe dates and kept the physical aspect to a minimum. It was simple. Laidback. A very normal form of dating.

“Y/n I’m gonna need you on a photo shoot set in a few hours” Taeyong peeped his head into your cubicle and you looked up at him with a frown, “I thought we were working on that rappers record party ?”

“Yeah that rapper wants you, Yangyang and Yuta to tag up the wall for a video segment of his photo shoot” Taeyong replied with a shrug and left you bewildered.

Yuta. From all the damn people he could’ve chosen you had to work beside the person who practically called trash in your last meeting.

Great.

You wrapped up the last of your work and headed downstairs to the parking lot where an Uber was waiting for you. Thankfully Yangyang  could talk anyone’s head off because just sitting next to Yuta during the car ride felt tense. Normally he’d be pushing you into Yangyang or commenting on how his tattoos were better than yours. But all he did was look out of the window watching as the buildings moved past, keeping his airpods in to avoid any type of communication with anyone.

“You guys are finally here! Good Mark Lee is waiting for you at the shoot location” a woman dressed in all black led you into what looked like a gymnasium turned into a giant canvas.

“Are we going to paint all of this ? Man this is going to take forever” Yangyang gasped as the three of you walked through cans of paint, staff members and models.

“You guys are the designers from black space who did that painting over at Jynx Club ?” A young guy approached who you quickly realized was the new hot rapper around town, Mark Lee.

“Uh yeah, that’s us” you chuckled shyly and looked around, “are we really doing up the entire room ?”

“Oh hell nah just the backdrop behind me” Mark waved his hand, “we just laid everything out for a few cgi effects but you guys, do ya thing over there!” You watched the hyped boy get called over by the director leaving the three of you faced with a gigantic piece of white board and no idea.

“Since you guys are uncultured and probably don’t listen to Mark Lee, let me be in charge of this piece” Yangyang pulled out his iPad and began scrolling through some of his sketches. “Be my guest” Yuta shrugged, completely disinterested in the topic and most likely just wanted to get done and go home.

Yangyang finally settled on something that utilized all three of your styles and you all put  on your white overalls, immediately getting to work.

The vibe of the whole job was quite chilled and because of the fumes most of the staff had left the gymnasium leaving the three of you to work in peace. “God I need to pee so bad,” Yangyang groaned as he dangled from a ladder, an aerosol can in hand and a nearly completed section in his corner.

“Dude take a break we’re way behind you anyway” you walked over to steady the ladder as Yangyang finally made his way down. “Thanks guys, be back in 20” he shot you a thumbs up and disappeared into the tunnel leading to the gym lockers.

The tension returned but it was somehow worse than ever before. Even though Yuta was minding his own business for the first time while retrieving a paintbrush he looked at you. There was no unsettling glare or the feeling that he was pissed off at you, he just looked at you like he’d look at anyone else.

And somehow that felt even worse.

“Yuta…do you mind if we talk for a bit” you cleared your throat and he looked over at you and removed one of his airpods signaling to you that he was listening.

“Okay Uhm well I want to apologize for what I said that night” you bit down on your lip, “I didn’t mean it, and it was selfish of me to even think of you like that after coming onto you in the first place.”

Yuta blinked and eventually just nodded, “apology accepted, and I can see that you like Jeno so I’m trying to stay out of the way” he shrugged and continued painting as if this conversation wasn’t that deep to begin with.

“Are you not going to get me back? Are you sure you’re Yuta ?” You raised a brow and Yuta’s manic laugh echoed throughout the gymnasium, “you want me to be mean to you ? Wow y/n that’s truly some kink you got there”

“Ugh you know what I mean” you shoved him playfully, unaware that the brush you were wearing was still wet and now Yuta’s jaw adorned a light shade of orange.

“Oh shit I’m sorry” you quickly said but Yuta had already responded by swiping his red painted fingertips across your cheek and smirked, “now we’re even.”

“Hey mine is way worse than yours!” You grumbled and flicked more paint at Yuta which then enabled a paint war between the two of you. Yuta giggled so much that for a second you forgot how silent he actually had been the past two weeks. He was back to his usual self and so were you, playfully making a mess with him until Yangyang emerged from the tunnel and yelled,  “What are you morons doing ?!”

You and Yuta stood still in the middle of the room both covered head to toe in paint but the scene was way too comical to hold in your laughter any longer.

“Yangyang we’re so sorry but look, it gave the canvas a little more color” you gestured to it and you weren’t lying, it actually did look a lot better than before.

“Fine you two can go on break, I'll finish up so we’re not sitting around until midnight” Yangyang huffed and returned to his masterpiece. “Is there a place to clean up here ?” Yuta asked and the woman from earlier on walked in and pointed to the tunnel located in the back of the gym, “there are bathrooms and showers back there, our crew provided fresh towels as well so go ahead” she smiled and you silently thanked her before heading to the tunnel with Yuta.

“God I have paint everywhere” you whined as you took a look at yourself in the mirror. Yuta chuckled as he began inspecting himself, looking at the peculiar fingerprints all over his face and neck. “This shit better not stain my skin” he grumbled as he picked away a piece of paint from a crevice in his ear.  “Tell me about it” you responded and began removing the overalls. All you could think of was jumping into that shower stall and allowing the hot water to melt away all the grime and paint when you noticed Yuta was already down to his boxers.

Your gasp made Yuta snicker to himself as he walked around the bathroom looking for the ideal stall to take his shower in.

“Nothing you haven’t seen before” you heard him say before hopping into one of the stalls and drawing the curtain. Despite his words being correct it still made your cheeks heat up with embarrassment. You guys were comfortable like this before, not now, not with Jeno in your life.

You shook your head and entered a stall opposite Yuta and a few rows down, just so you weren’t close to him but not far enough that made you feel alone.

“Fuck how is their paint on my ass ? That’s impossible!” Yuta groaned and you couldn’t help but laugh, “TMI, Yuta” you replied and Yuta scoffed, “says the person who’s responsible for this.” The banter ended and again all you heard was the sound of both showers hitting your bodies simultaneously, the air filled with steam and more unusual tension.

“Y/n ?”

“Yeah?”

Yuta was silent for a while and then you heard his water turn off. “Do you uhm mind checking if I got all the paint off my back ? I’ll uhm put my boxers on” he mumbled and you felt your heartbeat speed up.

First of all the Yuta you knew would’ve just walked over butt ass naked and pulled your curtain aside not caring at all. The way he acted now was out of character, but somewhat familiar.

“Yuta I’m still in the shower and naked” you chewed on the inside of your cheek while you waited in silence.

“I’ll close my eyes, I just don’t want this shit to dry up when we get back to work later” he replied and you heard his light footsteps coming toward you. Quickly moving your hair back and holding the curtain against your body, you slowly peeled back the material to reveal Yuta with his back facing you and with his eyes closed, like he said.

You peered down at his golden skin, taking in his broad shoulders and tiny waist as you inspected for any more signs of acrylic paint.

“Uhm yeah you have a little on your shoulder blade and lower back”

“Do…you mind…”

You bit down on your lip knowing this was already crossing the line. But you had just made up and it was your fault that he had paint on his back in the first place. It was innocent. That’s what you had to keep telling yourself while staring at one of the sexiest people you had ever met.

You began rubbing away pieces of the paint, ignoring Yuta’s whines when you used too much pressure. Your hands traced down to his lower back, settling in the dip as you tried to remove a very stubborn piece of paint.

“Ugh this one is not coming off” you scratched at it and to your surprise Yuta had let out a moan instead of the usual wincing.

“I don’t mean to kink shame but-“

Yuta spun around and glared at you, challenging you to finish your sentence but you were more concerned at the fact that the only thing protecting your nude body from Yuta right now was a thin piece of fabric.

“Yuta!” You scolded and he rolled his eyes, “oh please y/n I’ve seen it all, now can you please help me with the paint ?”

You watched wide eyed as Yuta stepped into the shower going back on his word to close his eyes and face the wall. You couldn’t believe what was happening right now but the quicker you removed the paint the quicker he’d be out of here.

“Aren’t your boxers…going to get wet ?” You watched him step closer to water already allowing his hair to soak up the warm stream. “Well you’re not gonna let me take them off with you in here and I’ll probably just go commando when we get back to the office” Yuta shrugged and you should’ve known that was one of his options since he has done it in the past.

You sighed and let go of the curtain allowing your naked body to be free and go back to work on his paint splatter. Yuta was calm and collected throughout the process, you silently commended him on his restraint, that was until he decided to turn around and look at you.

“Y-Yuta you promised” your voice was small but you still didn’t do much to cover up your body. Yuta leaned against the cold ceramic wall as he stared at you, his stare was dark, inviting you in like that night at the bar.

“I’m not going to do anything y/n unless you want me to” he reassured you, still maintaining a distance and doing absolutely nothing to persuade you. But did you need persuasion when all he needed to do was be in the same room as you?

The two of you stared in each other’s eyes for a few minutes and you had no idea who actually made the first move but there you were in the center of the shower stall, in a random gymnasium, kissing Yuta Nakamoto.

Yuta’s bare body was pressed against yours as the two of you fought for dominance in the kiss. You placed your hands on his chest to which he responded by wrapping his arms around your waist, pulling you closer until his hardened member twitched against your stomach. There were no words, just actions. Each kiss only made you more desperate for him, not feeling this type of arousal since that night at the bar. He was the only person who could turn you on to the point that every image of Jeno was erased from your mind.

You tugged down his boxers with urgency and Yuta helped you quicken the process, quickly kicking away the piece of clothing and had you pushed up against the wall with your legs wrapped around his waist. Yuta pulled away from your lips with a sultry bite on your bottom lip and lined up his member with your core. He kept his eyes on you the entire time from the moment he slipped into your wetness to the harsh thrusts he was now giving to you against the coldness of the wall. You felt like you were complete, filled with the right amount of passion and ecstasy. God you hated to admit it but nobody could fuck you the way Yuta did. Absolutely no one.

Yuta slowed down his thrusts and you brought your feet back to the ground, gesturing for him to take a seat on the floor and got on top of his member once more. Yuta threw his head back as you rode him relentlessly, grabbing onto your ass as he tried to meet your rhythm. The sight of him partially under the water and his swollen lips was delicious, you couldn’t ask for a better view right now. Yuta on the hand was also enjoying having you bounce on his length, quickly realizing that the women he had bedded during his time without you were not worth it. Not a single one of them made him feel the way you did. Even the times you guys were fucking around he’d sleep with other women because he didn’t want to admit that you are his best. You will always be his best.

“G-gonna cum” you panted and Yuta quickly rubbed circles on your clit to help you reach your orgasm. He watched your body spasm and you threw your head back with a soft moan. The sight alone made him come undone straight after you, filling you up completely.

You slowly got to your feet with the help of Yuta offering his hand and managed to finally catch your breath.

What the fuck did you just do ?

“Before you say this was a mistake and you hate me, hear me out” Yuta spoke up, “I need to know something”

You bit down on your lip. “Yeah?”

“Do you like me ?”

“What ?” You quietly questioned and Yuta sighed, rubbing his temples, “do you like me y/n ? actually like me ? Or is it you just like fucking me ?”

“I don’t know Yuta you know that I’m seeing Je-“you began explaining before Yuta quickly cut you off. “Don’t say his name, listen I know you like fucking me because that’s what happened right now despite whatever feelings you have for…Jen..him.”

“So what am I supposed to do ?” You asked, still unsure of how you were even going to face Jeno back at the office after this.

“Use me,” Yuta deadpanned, “keep me as your dirty little secret and I won’t tell a soul. I just don’t want this to end. I’m fucking addicted to this, and clearly you’re in need of me just as much as I need you.”

Yuta took a step forward and cupped your cheek with the palm of his hand. “I just crave you all goddamn day and nothing is fulfilling that need until right now.”

You knew exactly what he was talking about but you couldn’t bring yourself to share how much you ached for him. Late nights when you were alone you even pleased yourself with memories of him. You were unsure if it was lust at this point or you actually missed being around him. Despite every fight and argument the two of you had, there was something always drawing you in.

“First of all I don’t hate you” you sighed and he chuckled dryly before you continued, “I don’t know if this is a good idea but I’m only agreeing because Jeno and I aren’t serious yet and if we are-“

“I’ll back off I promise” Yuta quickly added and you nodded, “he can’t know about this, nobody can.”

“You have my word” Yuta pressed his lips together and for the first time he looked absolutely serious. Something in you made you trust that he wouldn’t fuck this up, because that would mean the one thing he wanted most right now would fall through.

You just hoped that this little need the two of you had for each other wasn’t turning into an…obsession.

————————————————————————-

“You guys are finally back” Ten stretched his arms above his head as you, Yangyang and Yuta returned back to the office after quite an eventful afternoon.

“Wanna see pics ? It turned out great!” Yangyang grinned quickly, running over to the older guys, showing off his artwork. Jeno was over at the game area with Sungchan completely invested in beating his friend in a round of Call Of Duty.

“Hey you” you sunk into the beanbag next to Jeno who shot you a quick glance before concentrating on his next move, “your hairs wet, why ?”

“Showered after the painting session” you answered diligently hoping there were no follow up questions. Thankfully he was way too invested in his video game to care much, you really weren't in the mood for an interrogation after half a day with Yuta.

Jeno asked a lot of questions when he felt insecure about something. Even though time had been short with him, it still somehow felt like a 2 year relationship. For a young guy Jeno was pretty old fashioned, he made you pick all the date places and never bothered to make the first move physically until you hinted to him that it was okay.

He was so different to what you were used to and you were afraid that if you didn’t speed things up with him this little secret with Yuta would turn into a reality.

“Hey y/n can you help me with lunch ?” Doyoung called from the makeshift kitchen area a few feet away and you silently thanked him for distracting you from your thoughts.

“Hey Doyoung” you smiled as you began opening containers from the Chinese delivery you guys frequented. “Just wanted to check in with you” Doyoung sweetly said as he grabbed a few utensils, “you and Jeno huh ? Was that part of my advice ?”

You pressed your lips together and nodded. “Yeah I guess so, it also helps that I’ve known him for a while now and he did actually have a thing for me in high school” Doyoung cocked his head at your words and leaned in, “and you liked him back or you’re seeing something in him now that you didn’t see before ?”

“U-uhm I think he’s hot” you chewed on your lip and Doyoung chuckled softly, “you know not everything is about looks or…hooking up, do you enjoy his time ? His interests ? His company ?”

You turned back to where Jeno was still playing his video games and you did feel a little confused as to what you guys actually did have in common. “I mean…” you began, crossing your arms across your chest, “we’ve only been seeing each other romantically for two weeks I think it’s too soon to tell.”

Doyoung combed back his hair and instead of bringing forth his insight in order to make you see things clearer he just nodded.

“You’re probably right, well I wish you guys all the best, it’s better than being with someone who doesn’t care emotionally right ?”

You slowly nodded and with that Doyoung began taking the food to the dining area leaving you with more confusing thoughts than you had before.

Lunch and the rest of the evening went on smoothly. Yuta stayed out of your way and there was absolutely no sign that the two of you we’re together that day. It was easier to fake seeing Yuta since the group knew the two of you would’ve been bickering straight after hooking up. It was the perfect illusion.

“Mark Lee’s party is at 9pm tomorrow night you guys, don’t forget” Taeyong looked around the room until he heard a confirmation from every single mouth.

“9pm ? Shit would it be okay if I only stuck around for an hour ?” Jeno sighed and looked over at Taeyong, “my brothers in town and I promised I'd get him from the airport at 10:30.”

“Well you’d have to show one of the guys here how to turn the installation on” Doyoung’s worried look matched Taeyong.

“I’ll be there to turn it on I’ll just need to leave straight after” Jeno assured them and squeezed your hand under the table, “it’s all really sudden but you’ll be okay right ?”

“I’ll be fine, I’m probably going to head home after the music video airing anyway” you smiled at him and he placed a soft kiss on your forehead earning a whistle from Lucas.

Yuta awkwardly shuffled at the sudden PDA and he hoped no one at the table noticed but it caught the attention of none other than Johnny Suh who narrowed his eyes at his coffee run mate.

The evening had wrapped up and everyone had already headed home except for Yuta and Johnny who were adamant on finishing a photography project for a band they were working with.

“Trouble in paradise ?” Johnny hummed as he edited an image on his laptop. Yuta, who was busy sorting out the Polaroids, turned to face his large best friend with a lost expression.

“Huh?” He raised a brow to which Johnny shook his head still staring at his screen.

“I can’t believe this, after all these fucking hellish months now you realize you like her?”

Yuta leaned in on the desk. “What the heck are you on about Johnny ?”

“Y/n” Johnny sighed and your name made Yuta’s heart race a bit, hoping Johnny hadn’t found out about the shower incident. God you’d hate him forever if anyone found out.

“Listen Johnny we-“

“You like her! After all those months of fighting I knew you were secretly in love and now” Johnny threw his hands in the air, “now that Jeno has entered the arena you have ruined your chances. Way to go buddy.”

“Wait what ?! I’m not in love with y/n!” Yuta scoffed. Saying that sentence out loud felt like a lie even though he couldn’t fully convince himself.  Was he in love ? Was Johnny mistaking love for just lust ?

That’s all it was and ever was right ?

You enjoyed fucking around with him and he was okay with it. That’s what he wanted too. Even if you didn’t answer his question of whether you liked him or not, it was okay. Whatever you wanted was okay as long he got to be with you.

“I’m not in love with y/n.”

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

You and Jeno arrived at the party with Yangyang and Sungchan all helping carry equipment for Jeno’s installation. The piece was a pixel art board that formed Mark Lee’s latest EP cover, and once plugged in it gave it an animated effect, basically bringing the EP cover to life. You marvelled at the hard work Jeno had put in, it was just a shame that he wasn't sticking around to receive praise from everyone who attended.

“Are you sure you’ll be okay here ? I know how much you hate these parties” Jeno pressed his lips together as he brought you into a tight hug. You hummed and looked up at him smiling, “Only been dragged to one of these parties a million times, another round won't hurt.” Jeno responded by pressing his lips to your forehead before joining Sungchan in setting up the installation. You always wondered why Jeno opted for your forehead instead of your lips most of the time despite already having your first real kiss. You understood he wasn't big on PDA, but the only time you ever got to kiss him was at your apartment door when a date had ended or when you sneaked in a kiss at the cinema. As much as you liked his chivalry, God at times you just wished he took initiative and bent you over your kitchen counter and had his way with you. It was kinda humorous how Jeno was the ideal type of any women out there but for you, you needed an unhinged, sex-crazed maniac to match your energy.

You needed Yu-

“It looks really good Jeno.” Your breathing hitched when you heard Yuta’s voice from behind you. You turned around but to your surprise he wasn't alone. Yuta was accompanied by a familiar face, Mei, a part-time designer from a few floors down. The way she held onto his arm made something stir inside of you. Your cheeks burned up and you dare say it for the first time you felt...jealous.

You were used to seeing Yuta with many different girls but it was always some nobody that he never bothered to introduce to the group. He always made sure none of them integrated with his work life but Mei, Mei was the first person you actually knew.

“y/n its been a while, Oh my God you look great” she said sweetly and you returned a friendly smile despite your awkwardness. Yuta gave you a quick glance not really paying you any mind as he kept a steady hand on Mei’s lower back, the two of them practically looking like a couple. It made you feel uneasy. After all he had said to you that afternoon in the shower, It seemed like he didn't mean it.

“It’s perfect Jeno you really outdid yourself” Taeyong applauded as the rest of the team finally arrived, all congratulating Jeno on his first big project under Blank Space. Jeno shyly thanked everyone and checked his watch, sighing that it was already time for him to depart.

“You're going now ?” You walked over to wrap your arms around his waist. You didn't care much before about Jeno leaving early, before Yuta decided to bring a date to the party which meant you would definitely be on your own. Jeno pouted and stroked your head, “yeah, we're still on for Sunday though right ?” and you replied with a nod before sinking into one of his very warm hugs. You had no idea why, but the need to ease your jealousy and get back at Yuta was so strong that you ended up pulling out of the hug and kissed Jeno in front of everyone. Thankfully Jeno didn't shy away and maybe the guilt of leaving you made him return the kiss, wrapping his arms around your waist, pulling you against your body.

“Get a room you guys” Ten joked when the two of you finally pulled away, and Jeno chuckled shyly before leaning into your ear, “let’s do that more often” he cheekily smiled and pecked your lips once more before making his way to the exit. Johnny watched as Yuta still looked visibly uncomfortable, more so now than before. But Johnny also knew how damn stubborn Yuta was and watched him throw his arm around Mei, departing from the group most likely for the rest of the night.

It was late into the night and Yuta was already way too many shots down to call himself sober. Mei was talking but he was not listening. Mei was a nice girl who had made it known to him that she liked him for a while now, but unfortunately for her she was not you. All Yuta wanted was you and again he cursed himself for being so fucking hooked. He wanted to make you jealous but after he saw you kiss Jeno it just came back to him ten thousand times harder. He came to terms with his addiction now in his drunken state he was scanning the crowd for a glimpse of the only person he cared about.

You.

“Hey I'm going to leave now...do you want to come with ?” Mei nervously bit down on her lip hoping the man she's been pining for months will finally take notice of her.

“Nah im good, I’m probably going to wait until my friends leave” Yuta replied coldly, his eyes still scanning the crowd as he took another sip from his jack daniels and coca-cola concoction. Mei nodded, disappointed that her night had not gone as planned and left silently, leaving her date to finally gain his freedom.

Yuta scanned the crowd for the tenth time until he did a double take at a figure in the back corner, dancing on their own with no care in the world. Downing the rest of his drink Yuta kept his eyes focused on you despite the alcohol blurring his vision and his body feeling heavy, he had to get to you.

You were in the same state as him, most likely worse since Lucas challenged you to a drink off. You had no clue when you separated from the rest of the group so you stuck a little corner hoping to sober up before heading home. As you swayed along to the music you felt someone wrap their hands around your waist and the familiar scent of that Tom Ford perfume made you realize who it was.

“Yuta…” you groaned, pulling his hands away from your body, still remembering how awful he made you feel a few hours earlier. God were you the rebound chick now ? The thought alone was sickening.

Yuta, still blissfully unaware that you were mad at him, still pushed his body against yours until your back was pressed against the wall and you had no choice but to look up at him. You watched him move his face down in order to capture your lips, but you quickly evaded it with a turn of your head. Yuta scoffed and sufficed for your neck, giving you soft wet kisses all the way down to your collarbones until you pushed him off yet again.

“What the fuck ?” He growled in your ear, “I thought we had a deal.” You rolled your eyes at him, there was the side of Yuta you hated the most. You wondered how long it would be until he factory reseted back to an asshole.

“I thought I was first choice” you snapped at him, “all your talk about no one can satisfy you like I can, use me y/n, I only want you” you mimicked his voice and flipped him off with your finger. Yuta knew you were jealous but it was kind of ironic given the situation. You were the one in a relationship, not him. “Oh so I'm supposed to see you suck face with Jeno but I can't have any fun y/n ?” Yuta had you back against the wall, this time his hand was locked on your jaw with his lips against your ear.

“Maybe I should've fucked Mei” Yuta’s voice was dark, you felt him smirk against your ear when his words clearly affected you, “Maybe if I fucked her she would've been so good that i would forget all about you y/n.” Your eyes darted to him and he cocked his head, challenging you, waiting to see how much you could take before you caved. Normally you’d be the one getting Yuta riled up like this. It was common knowledge that Yuta was a very jealous person and just mentioning another man sexually he would lose his mind. Once you were craving his attention and casually mentioned to him that if Doyoung was interested you’d let him screw you on his office desk, and Yuta responded by fucking you senseless in the supply closet until the only name that escaped your lips was his.

But now the tables were turned and you didn't want to hear about Mei. You didn't want to picture her next to Yuta let alone in bed with him. It was selfish on your part considering Jeno, but you wanted Yuta all to yourself.

“Shut up” you narrowed your eyes at him and grabbed a fist full of his shirt and brought him closer. Yuta traced his thumb over your lips and smiled, already knowing he won this round.

“Tell me why I cant fuck her right now y/n, tell me” he coaxed, and you responded by pulling him into a sensual kiss, your tongue slipping into his mouth and your hand palming his member until you heard him groan in your ear,

You pulled away from the kiss and pressed your swollen lips to his ear, “Because...you're mine.” Yuta licked his own lips at your words and grabbed at your ass,

“Show me I'm yours, baby.”

You had no idea when and how the both of you got to Yuta’s apartment in one piece but the moment he had his foot in the door, Yuta was tugging your dress over your head. “Fuck why do you always wear the most  complicated things” Yuta whined which you found cute even though you would never let him know that you were well aware of his adorable side. Sighing from victory, Yuta finally got your dress off and pulled you into his familiar bedroom, which you honestly missed so fucking much.

Taking in the familiar scent of his perfume and his slightly messy room, with posters on the walls, and a rack of band shirts - it was his little heaven and you loved it.

You walked over to lie on his bed, sinking into the soft fabric of the bed sheets as a familiar rock song began playing from Yuta’s stereo. You watched him as he discarded his shirt and ripped jeans, showing off his chest tattoos and belly ring, just the sight of him was already making you wet. Yuta was none the better, groaning as his boner pushed against the fabric of his underwear as his eyes took in your body, sexily laid out for him like you used to be.

“Fuck…” his lips parted as he watched you spread your legs, waiting for him obediently. Yuta crawled up onto the bed and nestled in between your thighs, his mischievous eyes looking up at yours before he began peeling away the thin piece of fabric revealing your core.

“You're…so…wet baby” he said in a low voice and leaned in to give your heat a soft kiss. The instant contact made your body shiver, reaching down to play with his dark curls. “Yuta…please” you whined as he continued his light kisses, not giving you the pressure you desired. Yuta looked up with an innocent face and cocked his head, “Why should I do it ?” His fingers traced circles on your hips and abdomen, waiting for an answer.

“Because…you’re mine Yuta, I want you…all to myself…I want to please me, only me” you threw your head back. Not having sex for over a month was really getting to you and the frustration had you saying just about anything. Yuta watched you squirm and after hearing those words he figured it was a good enough reward for his dear fuck-buddy. Yuta kissed your core once more but this time his tongue darted out every once in a while, awarding you with a better sensation. You moaned inaudible words as he began eating you out like a pro, lapping away like his life depended on it before inserting two fingers inside you.

“Yuta wait I’m gonna-“ you grabbed onto his hair, feeling your orgasm come on way too early for your liking as his fingers moved rapidly and his tongue licked away at your clit. Yuta ignored your plea knowing this was only the first of many and honestly he was glad that he was still the only man giving you orgasms for the past couple of months.

Yuta pulled away, a devilish smirk spread across his face as he watched you cum all over his fingers and just as your vision was in focus you had the pleasure of seeing him lick his fingers clean as if he just had the most amazing meal ever,

“Mmmm tasty” he bit down on his lip and winked at you. God he was so damn cocky, and it didn’t take you long to recover from that orgasm to make room for another. You got to your knees and sat back, your face now level with Yuta’s clothed member.

Yuta groaned as you palmed him, his length already twitching against your touch. He wouldn’t admit it to anyone but since the night you had called it off with him, his desire had subsided and he wondered if you were the sole reason for his high sex drive. You placed your lips against his belly ring, giving it a kiss before pulling down his boxers and allowing his member to spring free. Yuta cursed as your tongue swiped across the tip and you looked up at him with those large eyes, and Yuta knew exactly what you were waiting for. Positioning your mouth over his tip, you waited until Yuta grabbed a fistful of your hair and guided you down on his length, groaning loudly as you took in all of him.

Yuta’s hips began to meet your rhythm and the grip on your hair tightened, the sudden roughness made you shiver with excitement. You and Yuta always liked it rough, since it took out your anger on each other and any type of nurturing or romance would throw off the dynamic.  

Yuta threw his head back as he released, keeping you on him until you swallowed every bit. He muttered curse words as he pulled out and watched you lick your lips, swiping the corner of your mouth with your thumb and sucked it off.

“Yum” you mimicked his words from earlier with a smirk essentially driving Yuta crazy with lust. You giggled as he pushed you onto the bed and attacked you with bites and kisses, leading from your neck down to the valley of your breasts. “How long until you get hard again?” You sighed playfully but winced when Yuta’s teeth sunk into your skin, punishing you for your words.

“Cocky aren’t we ?” He moved back up to your lips and kissed you passionately. Just as you began melting into the kiss, Yuta pulled away and jumped off his bed heading to his closet.

“What are you doing ?” You groaned as you watched him sift through the mess of his closet until he finally retrieved a familiar box. “Yuta you’re literally hard right now, come on let’s just fuck already” you whined, knowing that when Yuta brought out that box it was his way of getting rid of your bratty attitude.

“If you wanna be impatient two can play at that game” he grinned and hopped onto the bed, pulling out his favorite pair of hair cuffs and with ease, cuffed you to his headboard. You watched him look through his box of toys, rubbing your thighs together excited about what his choice will be.

Yuta grabbed something out of the box and discarded the rest onto the floor, making his way back up to your body and pressed his lips against your ear, “you remember the safe word baby ?” Yuta pecked you when you nodded and you watched him insert a mini vibrator in your core and roll off the bed with the remote in his hand.

“I wasn’t even that mean to you” you grumbled, still getting used to the device inserted in you. Yuta shrugged and turned the device on, keeping it on a low setting as he watched you stir in his bed.

“I’m not punishing you for that actually, I’m punishing you for something else you did” he said calmly, pacing around the room butt ass naked.  You frowned and thought back to the party when he had found you, what did you say to him ?

“I’m sorry I pushed you…away” you pouted but a moan escaped your lips when you felt the setting turn higher and you watched Yuta shake his head, “nope that’s not it.” You groaned and threw your head back, unable to even think what the hell he could be on about. Yuta would get mad at every little thing so it honestly could’ve been anything.

“Can’t I have a hint or something ?” You pleaded and Yuta raised his eyebrow and eventually sighed, giving in too easily. “It happened in the beginning at the party” he said annoyingly, and finally something in your brain clicked.

“The kiss ? You’re mad over the kiss ?” Your words fell off when you felt the vibrator go another setting higher, the new speed was decent enough to start building a second orgasm. “You don’t sound like you’re apologizing for it” Yuta scoffed and dangled the remote in front of your face, “this goes up 4 more speeds y/n.”

“Why do I need to apologize for kissing my boyfriend when-“

Another setting higher.

“Fuck wait Yuta” you breathed, it was impossible to even keep focused at the new speed and the sensation was now running throughout your entire body. “You kissed him in front of me to make me jealous didn't you?” Yuta questioned and you nodded frantically, pressing your thighs together to ease the intensity, “yes yes oh my God, I wanted to make you….jealous because you brought someone else…and..fuck” just as you felt your body finally build up a perfect orgasm the vibrator suddenly turned off and you were met with Yuta’s cocky smile.

“You like to have it all don’t you y/n” he hummed as flung the remote aside and knelt between your thighs that were shaking from the orgasm denial. “You want to fuck me, but not let me fuck anyone else, you want Jeno but you don’t want me to get mad over it” he continued as he pulled the dripping wet toy out of your core and tossed it to the floor. Yuta placed his hands on either side of you and looked down at your defeated face and smiled, “Do you want me to fuck someone else?”

You shook your head and Yuta undid one of the handcuffs. He pressed a soft kiss to your cheek and again asked you another question, “Do you want to fuck me ?” and you quickly nodded, earning your second hand free from the cuffs allowing them to fall to your sides. Yuta placed his hand around your throat and squeezed gently, smirking as you arched your back, thirsting for him so desperately.

“Who would fuck you better, me or Jeno ?” Yuta mused as his hand released a bit of pressure on your throat. “Y-you” your voice was small and Yuta released your throat and his hand moved down to smack your thigh.

“Say it, say who will fuck you better” he hissed.

“You Yuta, you will fuck me better than anyone…better than Jeno” Yuta grinned at your words, a little surprised that you used Jeno’s name in such a blasphemous way. He was in euphoria at this point. It was all he needed to hear after continuously seeing you and Jeno look as if you were in love with each other.

It was all wrong.

You and him loved each other.

Fuck. He loved you. He really did.

Yuta pushed his length into your core and groaned as the realization of his thoughts and his conversation with Johnny all hit him at once. The sight of you beneath him, moaning his name and your confession that you wanted him over Jeno. It was all too much.

You moaned as he thrusted into you, his hips violently hitting against yours as your nails dug into his lower back. The lewd sounds filled the room and for a second the two of you looked into each other’s eyes, both feeling something…different. Usually Yuta would be fucking you from behind, his favourite position because he loved looking at your ass but tonight especially after his sudden questioning, he took care of you differently.

You don’t know what came over you and it was yet another thing you never did during sex but you pulled him down to kiss you. Your lips moved passionately against his, desperately clinging to his body as his strokes became longer and more powerful. Yuta sighed into the kiss, palming your cheek and his movements suddenly became more gentle as if he were making love to you, not fucking you.

“Yuta…I’m close” you moaned into his ear, loving this new feeling of him on your body. Yuta hummed in response and quickened his pace, making sure to sneak in a kiss every now and then until he finally brought you to your long awaited orgasm. You watched him bite down on his lip as he thrusted into you, chasing his own orgasm until he pressed his against your ear and said the words you never thought you’d hear from him.

“I love you y/n”

Your body slightly froze as Yuta finally came and he rolled off your body, mentally cursing himself for allowing those words to escape his mouth at this moment. But it’s what he felt.

Johnny was right.

“W-what ?” You finally managed to say and turned to him. Yuta licked his lips and kept his focus on the ceiling above him.

“You heard me right” he said calmly and you felt your heart race. Where was this coming from ? He was the one who always implemented the no romance rule and he chooses now, the moment you’re seeing someone else to confess to you.

“I have to go” you murmured and jumped off the bed, starting to collect your clothes from the floor. You heard the bed creak and Yuta sat up and watched you dress up. “It’s late now y/n and you drank, stay the night and leave when the suns up” he insisted, eventually grabbing his own boxers,

“Here you can sleep in one of my shirts and you’re welcome to sleep in my bed for the night.”

“Y-you…that was one of the rules…no staying over” you were biting on your nails, everything that had happened in the last ten minutes made no sense. Yuta shoved the shirt into your hands and sighed, “Look, we don’t have to talk about what I said or what happened, just stay the night and you can go back to your perfect life with Jeno.” Yuta began making his way to his door when you grabbed onto his arm making him stop in his tracks,

“Where are you going ?” You asked him softly.

Yuta looked at you and sighed, “I’m going to sleep on the couch.”

“Yuta..”

“What ?”

“Stay with me.”

—-—————————————————————

You had no idea why you had told him to stay in bed with you considering all that had happened a few minutes ago. But here you were, curled into his chest listening to his heartbeat as he lightly stroked your hair.

“How…long ?” You broke the silence and felt his heartbeat slightly race, “The realization came recently but I’ve…always liked you y/n” Yuta responded softly.

“Well you don’t have a good way of showing it” you rolled your eyes and Yuta’s soft laughter filled the room. “Well at first you actually were annoying but I did find you cute” He replied and shifted until you were on your back looking up at him,

“You put up with me and we’re not afraid to fight back. You know it’s not even about the sex, I think we’ve always enjoyed each other’s company, we just have a weird way of showing it.” You listened to his words and did a bit of reflection for yourself. You were already well aware that he occupied your mind 24/7 and did not enjoy seeing him around other girls he would eventually sleep with. But was this…love ? You weren't so sure.

“Do you ever think it’s more of an addiction rather than…love ?” You looked up at him, hoping your words did not offend his sudden confession in any way. Yuta sighed and rolled onto his back, staring up at the ceiling deep in thought.

“What is love then ?” He murmured, clearly by the look on his face he had been pondering on this question for a while now. You joined him in laying on your back and looked up at the ceiling, “love is when the other person completes you” you began, “when you’re having a dull day and just the sight of them could turn that around. Love is wanting to protect that person all the time, it’s just love.”

Yuta turned to you, “have you ever been in love ?”

You shook your head. “I don’t think so.”  Yuta shrugged and returned his focus above him, “whatever you just described is how I feel, but maybe I’m just still hung up on the Jeno situation.” You felt a pang in your chest as if you just completely destroyed his spirit. You always saw Yuta as a strong confident presence, yet the person next to you seemed lost, he looked broken. But deep down you knew that whatever he was describing had floated in your head from time to time, maybe it needed to be said out loud for you to finally realize.

“Give me a week”

“Huh ?” Yuta’s eyebrows raised at you.

“Give me a week to figure all of this out and we will have this talk again” you sat up and looked back at him. Yuta propped himself up on his elbows and shook his head, “y/n, if you don’t feel the same way it’s okay I won’t come in between you and…Jeno anymore.”

“Yuta”

“Hmm?”

You pulled the boy by his shirt until you were able to lock your lips with his, slipping your tongue into his mouth and he mimicked your actions before pulling away, a confused expression spreading across his face.

“I don’t know where this is going to go and whether we’re right for each other,” you chuckled dryly, “but I will always want you Yuta, you’re not coming between Jeno and I because the one who wants… .”

————————————————————————

It was finally Monday and you already regretted seeing Jeno at the office since you faked a terrible hangover to get out of the Sunday date, something that wasn’t entirely a lie. You spent the whole of Sunday laying in your bed thinking about the night you spent with Yuta and all that was shared during the morning.

You thought back on your own words about what your version of love was. Protecting someone. You reminisced about the days when Yuta got sick after a night out and you were the one to take care of him despite his protests. You thought back to when the two of you were working on a project, arguing as usual and you managed to slip on a wet paint spot, causing you to sprain your ankle. Yuta was the one to help you around the office when needed, he wasn’t appointed to you nor did he have to use up his own time to help you but he did it anyway.

When you were having a dull day the person you loved would find a way to brighten it up, just the sight of them was enough. There was an occasion where a client got real mean with you in the office, and hated the project you worked almost a month on, refusing to pay you for the labor you had put in. Yuta had seen the commotion and joined you in your booth and the two of you flooded the clients company with hilarious bad reviews anonymously until you were literally tearing up from laughter. That was one of the rare days the two of you didn’t get into an argument and the moment completely slipped your mind. You had  forgotten that Yuta and you actually shared fond memories of each other outside the bedroom.

You thought about every moment you got to the office and Yuta would be sticking his tongue out at you, calling you names and being a jerk as usual. But days when he had to work out of the office felt boring, empty, it wasn’t worth sitting in your cubicle without seeing him across from you.

But then after feeling the warm fuzziness of knowing Yuta felt the same way about you, your phone buzzed with Jeno’s name across the screen. Why were you doing this to him ? Why was Jeno in the crossfire when all he wanted to do was get to know you better ?

All you ever wanted was a distraction from the man you were scared to fall in love with.

“Heyyy you, you feeling okay ?” Jeno beamed when you entered the office, immediately bringing you into a tight hug and ending with a kiss on the cheek. You nodded and the sense of guilt over took your body as you looked up at his cheery smile.

“I heard you guys got so wasted at the party, damn I wish I stayed” Jeno giggled as the two of you walked hand in hand over to your cubicle. “Yeah it was…crazy” you faked a smile before settling in your seat. You looked across, a force of habit and you were greeted by a soft smile from Yuta before quietly returning to his work.

“I was thinking we should go see that new marvel movie tonight, what do you think ?” Jeno’s eyes were so bright and full of energy that everytime you looked into them it just made it harder to keep up your facade. “I’m pretty busy this week but hey Friday you can come over, I…need to talk to you anyway” you bit down on your lip and Jeno’s expression changed from excited to slightly wary, clearly noticing that something wasn’t quite right.

“Is….everything okay?” He asked in a staggered voice, and you slowly nodded and reached to squeeze his hand, “yeah let’s hang out on Friday okay ?” You smiled and Jeno pressed his lips together and nodded. You watched him exit your cubicle and all that was left in your view was the only person you wanted to see today, Yuta.

Yuta looked up and caught your stare, smiling softly as he rested his chin on the palm of his hand and winked at you. It was sweet and innocent, nothing like how he usually acted from across the room. You found yourself blushing and hid your face until you heard a beep come from your phone. Opening the messenger app you were greeted by a picture of yourself hiding your crimson cheeks with the message ‘Cute’ attached to it.

y/n: didn’t take you for a simp.

yutaa: fuck off, I have a folder like this.

You stifled your laughter when Yuta sent a screenshot with a folder just of you in your cubicle. From you flipping him off, to you glaring at him clearly pissed off at something he had said, and one of you trying your best to pay attention to whatever story Yangyang was on about.

y/n: oh my god you’re a BIG SIMP.

yutaa: maybe.

y/n: well I do have ONE of you that I don’t have the heart to delete.

yutaa: oh really ?

You sent Yuta a picture you absolutely treasured of him in your bed fast asleep hugging one of your plushies. It was one of the last nights you had with him before things got sour. Normally you’d never allow him to nap in your bed after a hookup but he looked so at peace and so adorable  that you decided to bend the rules a little.

yutaa: that was a good ass nap. yutaa: simp.

y/n: maybe.

The rest of the day went on and honestly you felt as if you were on cloud nine, chatting to Yuta like he was your high school crush. Smiling every time he texted back and glancing up every now and then, waiting for him to look at you with that cheeky grin. But as reality set in and Yuta’s smile faded, you were still dating another man. Who now had his arms wrapped around your waist peppering kisses all over your neck and shoulder while Yuta looked on, not being able to do a thing about it.

————————————————————————

The team decided to head out for dinner the next day, and something in Jeno had switched. After Yuta had watched him cuddle you until the day was over, you barely even got the chance to talk to Yuta face to face since Jeno offered to take you home. He was being suspiciously clingy and you wondered if he suspected anything.

“You’re okay with sharing a pasta and plate of fries ?” Jeno smiled over at you, one hand rubbing your waist and the other holding up the wooden menu. You nodded and Jeno placed his order in with Johnny who was doing the rounds for everyone. Yuta sat across from you and you could feel his stare on you from time to time, and the moments it felt like he was staring, Jeno’s grip on your waist got tighter.

“Is...is something wrong ?” you leaned into Jeno as he took a sip of his water. Even though he was smiling, his jaw was clenched signaling that he was trying to suppress himself from doing or saying something. “I'm just really tired” he rubbed your back and to your surprise leaned in to capture your lips. It was innocent but your lack of effort to mind his feelings wasn't good enough for Yuta. Frankly he had no idea where you two stood at the moment, for all he knew you could be playing him right now. It probably wasn't the case though, but Yuta was not really used to his life getting a happy ending. The night drove on and the group split with you, Ten, Doyoung, Taeyong and Renjun seated at the table while the rest of the guys were hanging around the bar babysitting their drinks. Jeno was really a changed man since high school. He was so confident, well-built and a good socialite with the team. You watched him lean against the bar counter, drink in hand entertaining whatever story Lucas had for the night.

“So you and y/n huh ? Have you scored yet ?” Lucas raised his brow cheekily to which Jeno chuckled and shook his head, “Really Lucas ? were talking about my sex life now ?” Yuta was in conversation with Johnny and Sungchan but he couldn't help but overhear your name in the chat next to him.

“Yeah man, I'm sure she’s good too after locking down my boy Yuta” Lucas smirked and Yuta flinched when the boisterous man grabbed onto his shoulder and pulled him into the conversation. “Even though they hate each other I just know they had the best hook ups” Lucas laughed despite Johnny trying to make him shut up.

“Well that’s all over now” Jeno’s eyes narrowed on Yuta before looking up at Lucas, “she invited me over tonight and considering the type of pictures she sent me, i'm guessing it’s going to be one hell of a night.” Yuta’s chest felt tight not only at the possibility that you may have invited him over to finally sleep with him but mainly because of the way Jeno spoke about you. He probably only shared that information to appease Lucas but hinting at you sending him nudes was not something you would like the guys to know about.

“She’s really been trying to speed up the process between us too it's cute actually” Jeno continued as Yangyang and Lucas egged him on, “that night after that painting you guys did for Mark Lee she was practically begging me to fuck her after our movie date. God if my brother didn't give me all those errands I would've done so right on the kitchen counter.”

Yuta shot back the rest of his drink and stormed off as Lucas and Yangyang hyped up Jeno, pouring him another shot and laughing erratically in their drunken state. From where you were seated you saw Yuta storm off and watched Johnny run after him worriedly, making you slightly anxious.

“Yuta don't listen to them man '' Johnny huffed as he finally caught up to his friend a few blocks down from the restaurant. “I dont fucking care man I really dont” Yuta chuckled dryly and ran his fingers through his hair, “It doesnt matter because at the end of the day im still the worthless piece of shit and guys like him are God fucking sent.” Johnny watched Yuta’s expression change and he turned around to find you standing there, desperately looking between them for context.

“Yuta what happened ?” you asked in a small voice and the familiar sting in his chest returned, hearing you call out his name, following him out here while Jeno was still inside, it was all just confusing to him.

“I thought you giving us a week meant you felt the same way and I could finally relax knowing you were going to be with me y/n” Yuta groaned in frustration while Johnny took a step away from the heated exchange. You shook your head as you approached him, “yes I did, so what's the problem ?” Yuta scoffed and folded his arms. “What's the problem ? doesn't look like anything’s changed y/n. I have to see you act like the couple of the year after telling you how I felt about you ? That's brilliant.”

“I told you I would speak to him this week” you snapped, unbothered by the now random onlookers who were concerned at the scene taking place. “But fine honestly Yuta if you really want me to say it you have my permission to fuck some random girl until im finally free.” You rolled your eyes about to turn on your heels to leave when you felt a tug on your wrist and Yuta pulled you into a kiss. He held your face in his hands as he kissed you passionately, sighing as he slowly pulled away and pressed his forehead against yours,

“When I said I loved you I fucking meant it y/n, I only want you. But please, if youre going to invite him over or send him dirty...pictures atleast tell him not to tell the whole fucking world about it.”

You took a step back and frowned at his words, “What ? What pictures ?”

“The ones he told Lucas about, y/n honestly I don't care I was just mad that he was airing your business out like that” Yuta bit down on his lip and yet again you were deeply confused as to what he was on about.

“I...I didn't send him anything” you responded, “I didn't invite him over tonight and I definitely haven't sent him any...nudes.”

“Tell that to him then”

You turned around and noticed most of the team was now outside watching the commotion go down and right in front was Jeno, who by the look on his face had most likely seen the kiss you just shared with Yuta.

Jeno approached the both of you with an irritated groan and scoffed, “I was going to ignore the signs but God I was so right, you were still fucking him this entire time ?” You lowered your head and Yuta glared at Jeno, “If you knew all this time why didn't you just break up with her and move on ?”

Jeno rolled his eyes and took a step closer to Yuta to which Johnny quickly responded by placing a firm hand on Jeno’s shoulder making sure the boy was at safe distance from his best friend.

“I'm not like you Yuta” Jeno licked his lips, “unlike you I respect her, I understand that she was going back to you because you like to play around, you never cared about her until I showed up. You were threatened by the fact that you were no longer in control of her.”

“Nobody is in control of me first of all” you chimed in, “and second what’s this about me inviting you over and sending you nudes that apparently the whole fucking bar knows about”

“It's just banter y/n” Jeno shook his head.

“Banter ?” Yuta repeated, “didnt know talking about how you were going to fuck your girlfriend on the kitchen counter in front of her coworkers is banter.”

“What?” you walked up to Jeno, “W-where is this coming from Jeno ? you’re not like this.”

“Well how am I supposed to be y/n ?” Jeno raised his voice, “you wouldn't mind if he said that to you. You're always letting him get away with shit. Im the one sitting around here knowing my damn girlfriend is fucking around with someone else yet somehow still trying to forgive you and figure this out.”

“Why, though ?” you shrugged, “Is it because you want to prove to other people that you're the bigger person ?”

“Would you rather be with someone like him ? someone who will probably throw you aside after he’s bored, or someone like me who was always patient, always willing to put you first no matter what” Jeno reached for your hand, his eyes widening when you shrugged him off.

“Someone who I barely know that talks about me to my friends like im just some kind of whore or someone i've known for a while and not once shared anything intimate that happened between us,” you looked over at Yuta, “It was my one rule, the same rule I gave you Jeno and he was, Yuta is the only one who has abided to it.”

“y/n Im sorry,” Jeno lowered his voice, “we hurt each other and I want to fix that, just make your final decision...me or Yuta”

“Jeno….I apologize for using you, I'm sorry for leading and hurting your feelings” you began and Yuta slowly shook his head and turned around ready to hear the bad news that always seemed to follow him,

“But as crazy as it may sound to everyone here, I'm most like myself when I'm with Yuta, I love the person I am when I'm around him” Yuta turned at your words and instead of the sting he felt a sense of warmth. Hearing you say that in front of everyone who wanted the two of you apart, besides Johnny ofcourse, was absolute bliss.

“Who knows maybe it won't work and it will explode but I really want to try, that's the thing I'm most sure of, I really really want to try” you smiled as Yuta made his way over to you and pulled you into a tight hug.

“Let's get out of here” Yuta whispered before placing a kiss on your cheek and draping his arm over your shoulder as the two of you exited the street walking away from the mess and not even giving it a second glance.

The two of you ended up at your apartment full of smiles and giggles as you slowly discarded your clothes on the way to the bedroom. Once your back touched your soft duvet covers Yuta pressed his body against yours and peppered your skin with kisses all the way up to your ear. “I want to try something different” he whispered and you nodded in response while Yuta pulled his shirt over his head and discarded his jeans. Yuta pulled you on top of his body and returned to your lips, kissing you slowly and passionately. His touches were so delicate and nurturing that every time his fingers ran down your back you felt butterflies in your stomach. You unhooked your bra shimmied out of it, still attached to the addictive taste of Yuta’s lips. He slowly rolled you onto your back and left soft kisses all the way down your neck, down the valley of your breasts until he reached your abdomen. You watched as he pulled your underwear off, looking at your body like it was the most beautiful thing he had seen. That was it. Instead of lust he looked at you with love. He looked like he wanted to take care of you, be gentle with you, savour every moment he had with you. Your breathing hitched when you quickly realized that he inserted himself inside of you and used one arm to steady himself on the bed as he lent down to meet your lips. His strokes were slow but sharp, digging his nails into your thigh from time to time, preventing himself from losing control. Wanting to feel more of him you signaled that you wanted to switch positions and Yuta licked his lips as he watched you place your knees on either side of him and sit down on his member. “F-fuck” he cursed as you began to ride him, keeping to his wishes of keeping things calm and slow. Yuta wrapped his arms tightly around your waist as the two of you kissed in between your moans, twirling your tongue with his as your hips slammed into his.

“Y-Yuta…” you moaned, feeling a tear escape your eye as the long night and the building orgasm caught up with you.

“Yes baby ?” he hummed in your ear.

“I really fucking love you” you sighed, just the words finally leaving your mouth made you sob with joy. It felt so fucking good to finally say it out loud.

Yuta responded by flipping you onto your back and chased both his and your orgasm, fucking you with his usual intensity until you came and he followed straight after, filling the room with heavy pants and both of you trying to catch your breath.

“I love you too y/n” He finally said, bringing you to his chest and pressed his lips against your forehead.

The two of you lay in your bed both napping for a bit until the first sight of dawn began filling the bedroom. You winced at the sun and hid your face in Yuta’s arms as he grinned at your actions.

“I don't want to go to work!” you grumbled.

“Fuck go to work after all the drama you caused ?” Yuta pinched your cheek playfully, earning a nudge in his side from you.

“Anyway” Yuta continued, “I got an email from Taeyong and he said if we want we can work remotely, he gave us the Okinawa project.” You sat up in bed and turned to face him, “the Okinawa project ? Its 9 months in Japan, the same project the whole damn building was trying to get” you blinked, still unsure if Yuta was just fucking with you.

“That's the one” Yuta shrugged, “anyways he said he was going to send either of us anyway since he knows we always get the job done. Oh and he actually said something really funny actually”

“What ?” you raised your brow and watched Yuta reread the text message on his phone.

“He said Doyoung was the one who suggested the two of us be the ones to go, who would've thought ?” Yuta closed the messages and tucked himself back into bed.

“Yeah” you smiled, “Who would've thought.”

THE END

[sylver-drawer]

Nah fr tho what was up with Lucas casually being like “yea I let thousands of people die to spite the world tree! What of it?” Like ???? What am I supposed to like his character after hearing that? Are they going for cool points or smth lmfao? Sorry to say but if athy marries and puts someone like him on the throne the whole country is fucked 💀

Yeah??? I know Lucas lovers love that deranged child to the point they genuinely think there’s nothing wrong with him, but like??? At this point, Spoon is quite literally going “this man has no moral compass at all and would/has let the world burn just because he doesn’t care” in bold letters on a sign and majority of the Lucas lovers/Lucathy shippers genuinely just,,, ignore it???

Like it isn’t old information we’re going off of. This happened like four chapters ago, and the story’s Deus Ex Machina admitted it himself without a single ounce of guilt, literally complaining that the world tree asked it of him.

A while ago I fought with an avid Lucas stan who absolutely refused to believe Lucas was a bad person. I brought up that one scene where he literally went “If Athy dies, I will blow Obelia and the world up” and they went “but he only thought about it so he didn’t do anything wrong :(((“

And I could literally only stare at the screen. Blinking my shock away. Like ok, if I think of committing mass genocide, it’s ok? Not a single thing about me is flawed or a heavy red flag, I’m the purest bean in the world?

I pray to the gods that Athy doesn’t marry Lucas because he doesn’t give a rat’s ass about Obelia or the world. All of the men in the story suck, but please don’t give the throne or shared title of the throne to a man who openly admits and bemoans about how their parent told them to save a civilization from perishing from a slow, painful death giving disease. If you’re going to marry anyone, meet a new person idk, just someone who’s a decent person? Especially when lately. Athy has been so serious and focused about becoming a good empress and ruler. Like she’s actually serious serious, I don’t think she’s ever been so determined about something other than living. The first step would probably be to make sure your partner at least cares about humans.

I feel like avid Lucas and Claude apologists would acknowledge how terrible the two are if the story actually framed their actions seriously. Claude’s done so many things people love to ignore and/or forget about I could practically write a book, and we’ve already mentioned the thing about Lucas. The story mentioned it so quickly and almost like an offhand comment. When you’re scrolling really fast because you’re reading or mostly look at the pretty art, you don’t notice the heavier, more implied and intricate details.

There was maybe three panels of that one scene. Him going “oh yeah, sometimes the world tree would tell me annoying stuff like ‘go save these people suffering’ and I was like nah that’s stupid because you’re annoying”, and then Athy making a face. But that was literally it.

I’m honestly kinda?? Lokey disappointed it didn’t focus on that fact more? Like Athy was an orphan, she had to fend for herself just to survive. And this man just admitted to her. This all powerful, practically godlike plot device. He just admitted he has the power to save multiple countries suffering all over the world. But simply doesn’t because it’s annoying. It honestly reminds me of billionaires, officials, and etc in our modern world? Like you have all this money and power, and you use it for either luxury or proffit or just plain old selfish hate when you could end poverty and world hunger. We are literally taking our steps into a world war three, people are dying and suffering everywhere, and people who have the power simply choose not to use it.

If people liked Lucas because of his looks and personality, Athy could easily just find someone similar to Lucas. There are so many handsome men in the world of WMAMP who have a sarcastic, teasing nature that I’m pretty sure her options aren’t limited to the Apathetic Plot Device Who Would Definitely Call Me Slurs If He Found Out I Was Gay and The Kid Who Walked Into Her Private Library Once. We literally have Helena’s brother and ‘the lone wolf’ as potential interests right there. Or hell, what about Cabel or the Arlantan Prince? Siodonnan Royalty??? Why doesn’t anyone make self insert OCs to ship with Athy, because honestly any option is better than the two we have.

[stranger-nightmare]

I love in discourse about billy, everyone seems to forget one real big thing.

Billy has been abused his whole life. He is never seen as someone who knows what the fuck a ‘gentle touch’ is.

He is beat by his dad for any little thing he does.

Didn’t watch max close enough? Punch to the face.

In mad max which excellent book for purely maxs story being told and her pov but Didn’t want to deal with being bitched at? Got punched in the face so bad his eye swelled up and then Neil beat the shit out of him with his belt.

Came home without his car, dazed and probably very confused, bloody nose, got hit by his dad again.

He was never once given a moment to change. Not once. By anyone.

So much so one happy memory and a soft touch from El, made him rethink and then sacrifice himself because let’s be real if he survived, what would have been left for him? Nothing.

People are very quick to jump on only billy about his shit behavior but not Jonathan who unknowing to Nancy took photos of Her in her bra then developed them. So he planned to what? Just develop them and then throw them out? Let’s be real here. We know why he developed the photos. He’s a teenage boy.

Steve before he became mom, was a giant fucking dick, he let his friends spray paint that Nancy was a slut on the town movie theatre sign. Yeah he was a basic one dimension billy who redeemed himself but he was still a massive dick.

Now billy is often seen as racist because out of all the kids Lucas was the one he targeted hard, right? And while I won’t say that’s wrong for BIPOC folk to be like that’s racist because I can never know the feelings of seeing that and being like ‘that’s racist shit that happens everyday to me Or my friends ECT’ and I will never say people who think that are wrong. Interpretations are all going to be different but From an outside look, Lucas was the one upsetting max in that moment. Lucas was the one she was fighting with. So from an outside view it can be seen as him picking Lucas because he was the one he saw getting at max.

Now does it probably have seeded undertones that were learned from his actual PoS dad? Yeah probably.

In mad max it says that Neil is a fucking awful man that sort of pushed himself on her mom cause they worked together at a bank. And Susan as shown in the book is pretty much a ghost who ignores what happens and ends up just fusing with who ever she is dating. And doesn’t see the red flags until it gets to a bad point.

Theirs a moment in the book where billy gives max a cigarette because she’s still in the ‘trying to bond’ phase and Susan yells at him but the second Neil pulls up, Susan knows, if she says what happened, Neil is going to be 1000xs worse to billy then she ever could. So she lets it go. That’s the one time you see someone slightly care if billy is hurt or not.

Is billy good? No. because he’s not, he’s a shitty teenage boy with anger issues.

Was he a 17/18 year old kid who the one person who loved and protected him left him with an abusive father knowing what would happen? Yeah he was.

Billy had no one. Until the day he sacrificed himself for max and for el and everyone, he had no one.

But no one wants to see that side of it.

That billy isn’t the abuse victim they all want him to be.

His trauma made him angry, made him hate, made him continue the cycle of abuse.

He wasn’t what people wanted him to be because he never had a chance. But people don’t want to think about that. That not all abuse victims become stronger from the abuse. That they can become abusers themselves.

Remember it took a soft touch and a happy memory for him to help instead of hurt. If one person had before he got flayed, was like

“Hey it’s okay. Stop being a dick. And let me help you”

Maybe they would have stopped the mind flayer before it took half a town being goop monsters and billy getting stabbed through the chest sacrificing himself.

But that’s just my thoughts. Because billy sucked, he sucked big time. But he was also a kid, an abused, very fucked kid. Who learned to hurt because that’s the only thing he’s ever known. Love what’s that? The one person who loved him, left him.

Billy sucked. But Billy fully deserved more then what he got.

yeah this is mostly the point I was trying to make, like I was only ever looking into and discussing the background and development of his character, like I have never and will never like or condone any of his behaviour bc that boy is an asshole no doubt about it, but there’s more to him than that

but yeah a lot of people seem to be quick to just say he’s an abuser and that’s that, which yes is true but I just think there’s more to it than that, all I was ever really trying to say was I definitely think there was a layer buried within Billy where he had the potential to grow and become a better person if only he was given that opportunity to, because as we saw when it came right down to it he did sacrifice himself for Max and her friend that he barely even knew, when push came to shove he did do the ‘right thing’, again I know this doesn’t justify or redeem his behaviour but it was a step in the right direction at least

anyway yeah I’ve said all that I can really say about him now so yeah

-hope

[diavolosthots]

I saw the amazing fic about about Diavolo meeting his mc’s strict religious parents. Could you maybe do that with Lucifer too?

Yes! I actually had a lot of fun with this. I went ahead with Christianity on this since it was the easiest

Warning: religious... Assholes?

...And I was there (LUCIFER X GN!READER)

Religion. He scoffs at the concept; at the belief in someone greater than yourself. As the avatar of pride, he believes there’s nothing and no one greater than one’s self. Besides, he knows it’s just a sick way for his father to gain recognition he never got from his children, or at least not enough. Why worship an entity who pulled you into existence literally for his own amusement? For his own sick pleasure? God doesn’t care; he never did. And as a former angel, as the former favorite, he should know that. He does know that. So he doesn’t quite understand that aspect of humanity and he thinks it’s ridiculous that you’re getting worried about what your family might think of him. 

“Lucifer, you’re literally a demon. Your name screams red flag to any religious family, and you’re also like… super tall with dark hair and red eyes. They’re going to be scared.” He scoffed, “You weren’t scared.” You rolled your eyes, “yes, but I’m also a dumbass. You can’t compare years of deep rooted religion to someone like me, who has an open mind and was quite literally thrown into hell for an exchange program.” Really, he hated even having this discussion with you. He told you before that one thing he would never do is change himself to appease someone, especially someone he doesn’t even know, but for some reason you still found the need to try and ask him right before you showed up at your parents’ house with him. 

“Sorry, darling but I wo---!” The front door opened, revealing your mom who first looked at him and then back at you, smiling happily and taking you into her arms, “(Y/N)! We missed you!” You smiled softly, hugging her back, and silently praying that Lucifer won’t do something idiotic, although you could almost bet on it, “I missed you too. Mom, this is my boyfriend,” Lucifer smiled, his red eyes holding a mischievous glint behind them as he took your mom’s hand in his and kissed the back of her hand. You rolled your eyes; show off. “Nice to meet you madame, my name is Lu--!” “Luke. His name is Luke.” you intervened, smiling sweetly and taking his other hand, dragging him inside, “is dad here?” 

Lucifer narrowed his eyes behind you, but he didn’t say anything. Not yet. “He should be back any minute. He went to get takeout so we could all enjoy some food while we got to know each other.” Your mom smiled up at Lucifer, slowly taking in how tall he actually is, “oh my! Aren’t you a giant!” “actually ma’am I’m a de---!” “Decent sized fellow who had good luck in the gene pool!” You laughed softly, yanking him down to sit beside you on the sofa while he glared at you out of the corner of his eyes. “Apparently so!” Your mom laughs softly, “would you like something to drink, Luke? A glass of water? Wine?” Lucifer smiled softly, “water is fine, thank you,” and watches your mother leave before turning to you, “You’re lying to them. I told you before that I won’t create a fake persona to appease anyone and you ignored that. You can be glad we’re not home right now beca--!” “Honey, where are you?” a man called out and he scoffed silently at realizing it’s your dad, who walked in with a few bags of take out. 

“Daddy!” You jumped up, going to hug the man in front of you and Lucifer swallowed thickly; you call him daddy too. He stood up, smiling softly and holding out his hand to the man in front of him, “A pleasure to meet you, sir, my name is Lu---!” “Luke! He’s my boyfriend and he wanted to meet you guys!” He growled lowly, barely audible, as you interrupted him a second time. Your father raised an eyebrow, looking Lucifer up and down. He was well dressed, your father had to admit, and he seemed to have manners… He reluctantly put his hand in Lucifer’s, giving it a firm shake which the demon returned. “Firm grip, son. I like that.” Son? Lucifer didn’t particularly like that. “Sit down. I got chinese so we could all get to know each other.” 

After everyone gathered at the table and started on their portions, you felt the tension in the air grow, knowing that there’s questions weighing on your parents’ minds. “So.. Luke. There a reason you’re dressed like Dracula or are you into cosplay or something?” Lucifer paused for a second, almost going to sass back at your father but a hand on his thigh reminded him to be nice. He shook his head firmly, “no. I suppose it’s just my style. I have been told by several tailors throughout the cent---.... The years that black and shades of red suit me well. It brings out my eyes and it holds a sense of seriousness to me, which is important in the business world.” Your mother’s face lit up, “so you’re a businessman?” Lucifer slowly nodded, “yes. I hold the manager position if you will.” “At what company?” You silently cursed your dad; how could he find a way out of this. “Modlived. We create weapons. It’s a private company, not meant for the general market and thus I can’t speak much of it.” Did he just… flip the devildom name and make a fake company? Smart. Your mother seemed to smile even more, giving you the ‘wow’ mom look at which you rolled your eyes. 

“Hm.. interesting. Well, Luke, you seem like quite the catch.” Lucifer mentally cringed but opted for a soft smile instead, “thank you, sir.” “But there’s one thing.” Lucifer already knew. He knew the minute he walked into the house and everything seemed full of bright colors and bible verses; crosses on the wall and statues of angels that would never look like humans depicted them, “yes?” “Are you religious? We want our little angel with a nice christian man after all” This time he actually scoffed; if only they knew what an ‘angel’ you were. “No. I am not religious.” You watched your mother place her hand on your dad’s shoulder who obviously doesn’t seem amused. “No? Any particular reason?” “I just know that the man upstairs could care less about any of the people on this planet and his little ‘angels’ are nothing more than frauds who can’t seem to think for themselves and instead, find the need to follow every little one of daddy’s little orders.”

You dropped your fork; wrong answer. You turned to look at Lucifer with wide eyes; and he was doing so good too! “Lu--” “No, darling, it’s quite alright.” Your father glared at Lucifer, standing up, “No. It’s not alright. I might have been able to accept your lack of faith, but I will not tolerate you pissing on my religion, boy.” Oh.. You could feel the anger underneath Lucifer’s skin and you were thankful he was so easy to control it. Lucifer stood up, glaring back, “I am not a ‘boy’, as you so kindly put it, and my name isn’t Luke; It’s Lucifer. I should know what I’m talking about, considering I knew the man personally.” your mother let out a gasp at his name, still hoping it’s some kind of joke, “Luke, I don’t know what kind of game you think you’re playing bu---” Lucifer let out a sigh, “humans. For a species who believes something that was written down thousands of years ago by a few illiterate idiots, you fail to believe in things that are right in front of you.” He looks straight behind your dad, making the window explode and your mom shriek.

“What the-- Are you really the devil?!” Lucifer silently groaned but opted to roll his eyes instead, “No. My name is Lucifer and for some reason you humans can never get that right. The devil is a whole different person.” Your mom clung to your dad and you tugged on Lucifer’s shirt, “g-get out.” Your dad tried to sound stern but you knew he was just as scared looking into Lucifer’s red eyes right now. “Gladly. Thank you for the food and I’ll be taking what’s mine.” Before anyone could say anything, he picked you up and threw you over his shoulder, walking out to the sounds of your parents screaming for you to come back. 

The next thing you knew, you were back in the Devildom and on your own two feet, “Luke? Really? You couldn’t have made Lucien or Lucas or anything like that out of my name?” He pouts softly but you were trying to be angry at him, “Lucifer! You were supposed to go along with it and have a nice meal with my parents an--.” “Lie. You wanted me to live a lie. I told you before I refuse to change myself for anyone; I am proud of who I am.” You rolled your eyes and turned your head but he caught your chin in his hand and brought your face back to look at him, “My name is Lucifer and just like your ignorant parents, you best make sure to remember that, Darling.” 

[sheryl-lee]

speaking of toxic st fandom, im literally so fucking sick of some st fans still fucking hcing max as a lesbian. like i hc her as bi and yeah elmax is cute enough but like ??? why are we completely ignoring and invalidating her relationship with lucas. and this season was THEIR season. their relationship is probably the best one on the show imo and if i see one more person say max is a lesbian i’m going to scream

oh i have not seen that often (i try to stay largely uninvolved from the st fandom) but yikes that's not it. i get headcanoning her as bi like you said, but claiming that she's a lesbian completely undermines lumax and the importance of that relationship to both characters. idk people who do that are huge red flags for me. i bet if lucas was yt that would not be as much of a thing.

this is the problem with fandoms (especially yt people in fandoms); they only like poc when they fit their fantasies or headcanons, otherwise they are villified and/or discarded. that's so fucking awful.