#me eyes bleeding: you guys I watched all of campaign 2 in 2 months

[erandraws]

Save me hot boi, save me

[imaginaryelle]

I just re-watched THAT scene and a thought hit me: Lan Wangji just stands there watching Wei Wuxian fall from the cliff... Why doesn't he jump onto his sword and swoops down to at least try to save him? Or is he all out of spiritual power? Or does it simply take to long to start and rev the sword? Not saying it's a plothole, I was just wondering...

I mean, I think this is a fair question and I know I’ve seen it discussed elsewhere. I just can’t seem to find the post or remember if any conclusions were reached, so I’m excited to dive into this. As always if anyone has insights or headcanons they want to add on to this, please do.

Because I like pictures, here’s ep 33 Lan Wangji holding his sword and staring in horror as Wei Wuxian falls (what is Jiang Cheng thinking? Who knows.) 

Why isn’t Lan Wangji doing anything? He just stands there for long enough that Jiang Cheng backs away and leaves him on the outcropping, all alone.

Poor guy.

Okay, moving on. I think there are at least two ways to approach this, and one is from the production perspective (since this cliff encounter is a thing that only happens in the drama) and the other is from the in-universe perspective (aka, Doyalist vs Watsonian), so I’m going to look at both.

For the production pov, there’s really only one scene (I think) where we see anyone actually riding a sword in the drama, and it’s when they’re confronting the water demon/abyss in Caiyi (ep 5). At that point there’s no prep time, everyone just jumps up and then steps onto their swords (which is actually even more ridiculous to me than the image had already been in the novel because I thought they were at least riding on the scabbard but no! Riding the bare blade like a skateboard. I love it.)

How majestic.

Lan Xichen is the only graceful and cool person here. The only other sword-riding shot in this scene that shows more of a person’s body than their head and shoulders is when Lan Wangji drags three people into the air at once and we get a brief glimpse of Su She’s feet kicking wildly.

So, based on this scene’s execution and the general scarcity of other sword-flying scenes (even with the Nightless City confrontation, Lan Wangji just flies in with his quqin, no sword under his feet), my out-of-universe theory would be a combination of budget and aesthetic at play. If the production can get by on wire work with super extra long jumps that don’t seem to require actually riding the sword, they will. It’s logistically simpler, and it frankly looks better on screen. It’s also a staple of the entire film genre, whereas this sword thing is not, so the crew and effects people would have more experience with it as well. (In-universe I have a lot of questions about Wei Wuxian’s retained ability to do those jumps. Do they not use spiritual energy? Does he still have spiritual energy, just not a golden core? Is he using resentful energy instead? How does this work?)

From a more story-side view on the production, they’re working against the fact that they changed the plot to add Lan Wangji’s presence at Wei Wuxian’s death and they want to capitalize on that relationship, so having Wei Wuxian knock himself over the edge as he destroys the seal (or something where he steps back as Jiang Cheng rushes him or any other number of possibilities) no longer fits with the emotional beats they’re trying to hit. Also they really need Wei Wuxian to die here for the plot to function. Having Lan Wangji mount a sword and swoop down to try and save him again just adds extra complications and delays the desired outcome of WWX = dead and LWJ = distraught. In that sense, it really does start to look like a plot hole, because it feels like they’re ignoring the capabilities of a character in order to get the result they need. I do think they try to address this, but since multiple people have this question and I personally had to watch the scene more than once while actively thinking about it to notice all the relevant details… the efficacy of those efforts is maybe questionable. (Also like.. why does Jiang Cheng wait three days to go look for Wei Wuxian’s remains? Why is anyone waiting at all? Why is anyone surprised they can’t find a corpse when the visual we get implies Wei Wuxian is falling into lava? There are many, many questions that can be asked here and for a lot of them the out-of-universe answer is probably going to resemble “because the plot/original source material demands it” without much helpful in-universe support.)

In-universe (and probably more pertinent to your question), yeah, Lan Wangji could be low on spiritual power (and upon rewatch, I think he genuinely is). He could be physically exhausted as well as injured, too. For someone who carried three people in two hands 2-3 years ago and canonically has only gotten stronger since, he sure is having trouble pulling one person up over the side of a cliff. And that exhaustion really isn’t outside the realm of possibility, no matter how strong and powerful he is. He just traveled pretty far! If the theories that he found A-Yuan before coming to Nightless City are true (since he’s not injured in those flashbacks), he likely spent a ton of spiritual power even before getting into this battle where he first confronted Wei Wuxian and then started fighting pretty much everyone on the field by himself. Then, in a moment of fear-induced distraction, he gets injured! He’s actively bleeding! So yeah. He could definitely just be physically exhausted.

All that blood loss is not a good sign, and it actually speeds up (visually) as he expends this effort. We can see his arm trembling all throughout this scene, and then his grip slips (thus the face). Even after that he slips again, not losing his grip, but losing the strength to hold himself up at all. In the end he’s literally just lying on the rock depending on gravity to keep him in place and putting everything else he has into holding on to Wei Wuxian. He can’t do more than glare in Jiang Cheng’s general direction and tell him to stop.

Bichen is right there. If he had spiritual power left, I think he’d probably be sending his sword out to block Jiang Cheng’s angle of attack. That, or he needs two hands to accomplish such an action (It doesn’t require hand motions later/in the future, but maybe he develops that skill precisely because of these events). So yes. He’s physically exhausted. He’s spiritually exhausted. But I think there’s more going on here, too: He’s also at the end of his rope emotionally, and that’s how he ends up standing there, horrified and unmoving.

He’s had a rough time recently: Everyone hates his best and only friend/love of his life, and he has to listen to them call for his death/judgement at fancy dinner party meetings on and off for over a year. No one will listen to him when he tries to present a different view. Even his own brother is (not unreasonably) much more concerned about Lan Wangji’s personal safety than what his silence on this issue is costing him emotionally, and his uncle is distinctly unsupportive of the friendship from the beginning.

I think Lan Wangji spends a lot of time questioning his upbringing in those months (we see him actually verbally do so when he’s punished after Wei Wuxian’s death, but I think it starts well before that). What is right and wrong? Who decides it, and how? When does justice and holding people responsible for their actions turn over into unjust persecution? What is true, and what is a lie, and how much does that matter when weighed against social/political/spiritual harmony? These are concepts that are buried pretty deeply in the Lan Sect’s teachings but the world is twisting all of them before his eyes, and I have to think that takes a toll on him. Additionally, just as things start looking up (they let him write the letter to invite Wei Wuxian to Jin Ling’s celebration! They listen to him, other people support his idea!), he has to deal with the facts that:

1) His best friend who he’s in love with just killed a bunch of people, including Jin ZiXuan and some of Lan Wangji’s own Sect brothers.

2) Wei Wuxian is clearly losing control of his resentment-based cultivation path, and is thus personally in danger on a spiritual level, and

3) Everyone now wants to kill Wei Wuxian again, possibly even more than they did before, and anyone who supports Wei Wuxian is an enemy of the entire cultivation world.

Later in the series, Lan Wangji says he regrets that he wasn’t at Wei Wuxian’s side at Nightless City. That he didn’t support him, despite what we see of him trying to help Wei Wuxian find Jiang Yanli and then, after she dies, stop him from killing himself. To me, this could very easily imply that Lan Wangji is still trying to walk a tightrope in those scenes, or perhaps trying to be a bridge. He’s deliberately not choosing a distinct side, because he refuses to hate and reject Wei Wuxian, but he’s also refusing to declare open support. He’s acting entirely on his own, in a balancing act between friendship and love vs his family, his entire life’s teachings, and all of his society. Certainly I find that sort of situation exhausting, and I’ve never had to do it for something so high-stakes or large-scale.

Then there’s the actual cliff scene itself, where he’s visibly desperate. How intense does an emotion have to be for Lan Wangji to so clearly show it?

Wei Ying, he says, come back. He knows Wei Wuxian is breaking down. He at the very least guesses that he’s going to do something wild like step off that outcropping, which is why he follows him in the first place. But he has no idea what to do, so he tries the same thing he’s been trying for years: Come with me. Let me help you. This is a bridge, and he’s offering to help Wei Wuxian cross it. But just like every other time he’s tried it since the Sunshot Campaign ended, it doesn’t work.

Note that Lan Wangji actually is flying here, without the sword, so if he doesn’t have any spiritual power when Jiang Cheng shows up, this is probably a last, desperate burst to go with this last, desperate act.

I don’t think he really has a plan here. Not a new one, anyway. This is a still a plea of Let me help you. And, notably, Wei Wuxian doesn’t accept his help.

Not once during this whole scene does Wei Wuxian reach up with his free hand or try to help Lan Wangji help him in any way. He smiles, and he says: Lan Zhan, let me go. Because he doesn’t want a bridge. He doesn’t want to go back. Honestly it’s a pretty explicit and heartbreaking message: Lan Wangji’s offer of help is not enough to make Wei Wuxian want to stay alive. Not right now. He needs more than that. He’s lost too much to believe, right now, that anyone is going to choose him and his side, or that he’s worth that effort. And to be clear, Lan Wangji isn’t even offering that in this situation. Wei Wuxian is one slippery handgrip away from death, and Lan Wangji is still not saying “You, I choose you.” From anything Wei Wuxian can be expected to infer, his offer here is no different than it’s ever been: let me show you the way back to the right path. Let me help you fit back into the world the way you used to. And Wei Wuxian can’t do that; he has no golden core, it’s literally impossible even if the rest of the world would let him try. But at this point he doesn’t want to go back either. He doesn’t even want to try. That world hates him, and willfully misunderstands him, and has taken too many people from him now for it to be worth staying in. He wants to die.

And then Jiang Cheng arrives.

Wei Wuxian’s reaction to his brother’s presence is to smile, say his name, and just–accept his hatred. He closes his eyes and waits for the sword to fall even as Lan Wangji calls for Jiang Cheng to stop. The only time he shows distress between stepping back off the cliff and his actual death is when Jiang Cheng twists his sword and compromises the stability of the outcropping so that Lan Wangji is also in danger.

I think it’s possible that if Jiang Cheng had also reached for him and tried to pull him back up, things might have gone differently. Maybe that would have been enough to alter Wei Wuxian’s thinking. But as it is, when Wei Wuxian falls, he falls with his limbs relaxed and a smile on his face. There’s no flailing and screaming like when he was thrown into the Burial Mounds (in ep 33. There’s some arm-waving in ep 1). And I think that moment of him pushing Lan Wangji back and then letting go, more than anything, is what stops Lan Wangji in his tracks, because Wei Wuxian could have saved himself. He had strength and energy left. Enough to push Lan Wangji up and back and nearly to a standing position. He could have accepted Lan Wangji’s help, easily. But he didn’t, because he wanted to die, despite all the effort and inner turmoil Lan Wangji has gone through on his behalf (most of which Wei Wuxian doesn’t know about but, still).

That’s a pretty serious emotional kick in the head. Lan Wangji cannot ignore, at this point, that even if he did have any physical or spiritual energy left, Wei Wuxian doesn’t want to be saved. And that’s when we get this face (actually from ep 1):

He has nothing left. He has at this point spent over a year, maybe two, trying to save someone who, when it came down to the final moment, didn’t want to be saved. There’s nothing more he can do, in this state of exhaustion and despair, and it wouldn’t matter if he tried.

Personally, I think he looks like he’s about to be sick, and I don’t think it’s just the image of Wei Wuxian falling and dying that’s working on him here. It’s also the knowledge that he fucked up. He didn’t do enough, or more accurately, didn’t do the right things, in order to encourage Wei Wuxian to keep fighting for himself or anyone else (I’m not saying this is a healthy or reasonable thought, I just think it’s a thought he’s having). And I think this realization plays directly into how he treats Wei Wuxian when he comes back sixteen years later. He knows that questioning Wei Wuxian on his path of cultivation doesn’t go where he wants it to, so he doesn’t do it. This time is going to be different. He’ll break rules. He’ll drink alcohol. He doesn’t scold Wei Wuxian for making dumb, selfless decisions like transferring the curse mark from Jin Ling’s leg to his own, he just accepts it and expresses concern over Wei Wuxian’s well being. He stops asking if he can help and starts just doing it: Wei Wuxian can’t walk so he’ll carry him. Wei Wuxian needs someone to speak for him, so Lan Wangji will do that, with his brother and with the whole cultivation world. And then we come to this:

This is exactly the same move. Wei Wuxian will protect Lan Wangji, but not himself.

But.

Lan Wangji is no longer trying to be a bridge. He’s not going to hold out his hand for Wei Wuxian to accept or disregard. He’s crossed over to be on Wei Wuxian’s side. And that’s what makes the difference.

[blackaquokat]

The Song You Might Have Been (Chapter 3)

Link to Chapter 1 and Chapter 2 here!

A/N: Should I be putting Trigger Warnings for Attempted Murders? In that case, there’s one for this chapter.

Also, yes, this story does actually have an underlying plot, and it comes into play now.

---

It’s not until the end of Week 2 that the first attempt on your life is made.

You’re working at the dishes, sweating in spite of the cold water. Overall it’s been a fairly normal day. You sent out another letter, chatted with Yancy’s gang, spent some time in the yard. You’re finally settling into a routine. That worries you. Does that mean you’ve been here too long? Should you be letting yourself get comfortable?

You’re so lost in thought you don’t notice the shadow growing across the wall in front of you until you're setting aside another dish. You spin around just as a hand gripping a shiv aims for your stomach. 

You grab at the hand by the wrist just in time, but your arms are wet from the sink water, so your grip slips. You manage to redirect the weapon enough that it just grazes your arm and then you punch the guy with your other hand. You aim a kick at his hand to knock the shiv out, but he moves at the last minute. When he tries to tackle you again, another figure barrels into him like a raging bull, knocking the shiv across the floor.

You go for the weapon as the other two struggle. When they break apart, your assassin punches at your rescuer (Yancy?!) and knocks him back to the ground with a bleeding lip. The assassin hurries to his feet, but when he sees you ready to cut him with his own shiv, he turns heel and starts running off.

A club comes from out of nowhere and cracks across the guy’s head. The inmate falls to the floor in a heap. 

You let out a shuddering breath and look up to see your terrifying boss guard of the kitchens, Rex, standing over him.

“Not about to let a perfectly decent dishwasher go to waste,” he comments with a twirl of his club. “Not when that dishwasher promised to include a new poetry collection in that library of theirs.”

A hysterical laugh bubbles out of you. It doesn’t stop until tears are running down your face (you almost died, you almost died) and that’s when you notice the throbbing in your forearm. You realize that the shiv cut deeper than you noticed before. Blood is dripping from your skin to the floor.

Shock, you think. I’m going into shock. 

“Hey, hey, Eagle.” Yancy climbs to his feet and approaches you not unlike one would a spooked horse. “It’s alright, it’s alright. Why don’t we get youse to the doc, yeah?”

You wipe away your tears with your unscathed arm and nod. “I...yeah.”

Yancy glances over at Rex, who twirls his baton again. “I’ll just take care of this guy. Permanently.”

“No!” you blurt out. When Rex and Yancy stare at you with blatant “have you lost your mind” expressions. “I don’t recognize him from court,” you explain. “Which means he’s killing me for another reason. I need to know why.”

Rex and Yancy exchange a glance. Rex shrugs. “I can live with that reasoning.” He grabs the unconscious inmate by the foot and starts dragging him away. “I’ll inform the warden of the near shish kebabing!”

Later, in the infirmary, after your arm is stitched and bandaged up, Yancy speaks up. “Youse would’ve let Rexy boy kill that guy if he didn’t have that info.”

You shut your eyes and sigh. “I...I guess so. Yeah.”

“Usually it takes more than three weeks before newbies are comfortable with murder.”

“Yeah, well, this isn’t the first time someone tried to kill me. Only that time there was no one to help, so I…” You flex your hand and cringe at the pain the movement elicits. “I took matters into my own hands.”

Yancy’s looking at you with contemplation, his hand stroking at his chin. There are tattoos on his fingers too. “Youse full of surprising depths, ain’t you, Eagle?”

“I threw boring out of the window the day I was born.”

Yancy laughs and shakes his head.

“So what the hell were you doing in the kitchens, anyway?”

Yancy’s humor dissipates. “I, uh...I was stealing some bread rolls for the group. Then I saw that guy tip-toeing about and decided to see what the hell he was doin’.”

“You saved my life.”

He shrugs, suddenly looking sheepish. “Youse were doin’ just fine without my assistance.”

“Yeah.” The two of you smile. “But I appreciate it nonetheless.” A beat of silence passes. “You planning on telling me what you know about my case anytime soon?”

Yancy looks around the room. The doctor had left a few minutes ago to tend to someone else. “Not here.”

“When we get back to our cell then--”

“No, not there either. I’ll tell you tonight in my, uh...secret place.”

---

That “secret place” turns out to be the rooftop of the prison in the middle of the night. 

“Shouldn’t there be guards up here?” you point out through chattering teeth. Most romantic and dramatic novels fail to mention just how damn cold it is on rooftops at night.

“I’m owed a few favors,” Yancy explains simply. “Nothing gets a system going like favors.”

“That is true.” You plop down onto the floor and cross your legs. You immediately regret moving so suddenly when pain shoots up your arm. “So what have you got for me?”

Yancy sits down in front of you, his knees bent almost to his chest. “That dead attorney youse told me about? The one youse were framed for killing? He’s been here before. Talkin’ to another inmate by the name of Louie Winfield. We called him Scrawny Louie.”

You perk up. “You’re kidding me. Is there anyway I can talk to--”

“The guy was found bleedin’ out in the showers last week. Dead ‘fore anyone could blink.” 

Your shoulders drop. “Of course.”

“That bein’ said,” Yancy leans his head into his hand, “when I heard youse’s story last week, I thought, well, there’s no such thing as coincidences, yeah? A dead inmate and a dead lawyer who’d been chatting it up for months? Another lawyer with a spotless reputation takin’ the fall? I didn’t look forward to havin’ another dead inmate on my watch, so I figured I’d keep my two eyes on youse and see what I could see, you know?”

Your elbows rest on your knees. “Are you...you’re saying there’s an inside man here? And that he’s involved in my case somehow?”

“I ain’t sayin’ nothin’. All I’m doin’ is pointin’ out a whole string of coincidences taking place in a very short amount of time.”

 “All these coincidences happening around the time I was investigating Connor Smith…” you bite your lip, “and Merrill Byron.”

Yancy’s eyes pop out of his head. “Youse just pullin’ my tail, right? Ain’t that the guy who runs that charity orphanage or whatnot downtown?” At your questioning gaze, he tacks on, “We get the paper every week, remember? I keeps up-to-date on the outside when I can.”

“He’s also best friends with the deputy commissioner and backs several other political campaigns in the city.”

Yancy slack-jawed gaze doesn’t let up. “Is youse crazy? Youse tellin’ me that’s the guy you was investigating that got youse in here?”

You lift your eyebrow by way of response. 

Yancy bursts into laughter and shakes his head. “Shit, Eagle, youse got a spine of steel, don’t you?”

You shrug and tighten your arms around yourself, wincing at the stabs of pain in your forearm. Damn, it is cold up here. “I have to. Someone like me, working with the District Attorney? The shit I had to deal with from the other attorneys in the office was worse than facing criminals in court.”

“Should I feels offended that criminals aren’t as much a bother as the people youse worked with under Lady Justice?”

The two of your share a laugh over that, before Yancy asks, “When we met youse mentioned that Byron was embezzling from that orphan charity of his?”

“And probably funding the newest drug empire in the city.”

Yancy strokes at his chin. Quite the habit of his, you’re noticing, for someone without much in the way of a beard. “That makes sense. Poor dead Scrawny Louie was a dealer on the outside and continued his operation on a smaller scale in here. Had to tell him to keep it on the downlow more than once, otherwise the Warden would catch on.” He must see the question in your eyes. “Not much for snortin’ myself. Makes me sneeze. I like to keep a clear mind, I do.”

A thought occurs to you. Something that somehow you didn’t think to ask earlier. “So what did you do to land in here in the first place?”

Yancy’s gaze darkens. “I thought we were talkin’ about youse and how youse ended up in here?”

Tender subject then. Maybe you’ll try to ask him again later. Or you’ll just look into it yourself when you get out of here. 

(You have to think in “whens.” The moment you start thinking in “ifs” will mean you’re starting to give up and you do not give up. Ever.)

“Okay.” Your shoulders feel stiff, so you roll them to loosen up the muscles and tendons. “So what do we do now?”

Yancy’s relief at your dropping the subject is minute, but you catch it nonetheless. “Well, youse came here to Happy Trails at an ideal time. Visitation is this Sunday. Youse could probably pass this information to whosever’s workin’ on youse’s case. Now, youse shiverin’ so much youse makin’ me cold just lookin’ at you, so let’s get back to the bunk, shall we? Next time we’ll bring blankets.”

“Next time?”

Yancy wiggles his eyebrows. “Youse think I was gonna let this slide? Nah, I’m gonna find the bastard who’s killin’ for the outside and make ‘em pay. I doubt your assassin is the only one in here.”

You can’t help the grin sliding across your face. “That mean you’re gonna help me out?”

“Our goals appear to be coincidin’, don’t they? May as well meet here to compare notes and investigative realizations, ya know?” He holds out his hand. “Whaddya say, Eagle? Youse too much of a goody-two-shoes to work with a criminal?” His tone is entirely teasing and it makes your grin widen. 

“Well, I’m in prison right now too, aren’t I?” You stretch your uninjured arm out and take his hand. “I know how to adapt and conquer.”

“That’s what I like to hear, Eagle.”

---

When you ask to interrogate your assassin, Yancy says it’s not necessary. 

“Youse let me worry about that amateur killer, hey Eagle? His face isn’t one you need to subject youself to again.”

Later, when he comes back to the cell with bloodied and split knuckles that you don’t ask about, Yancy reports that the guy was hired anonymously. A letter under his pillow with a bag full of contraband. The letter was tossed into the furnace, so there’s no chance at comparing handwriting or anything like that. 

Still, it’s something to report to Damien when you see him at Visitation.

“Somehow, I am not surprised to hear that you’ve managed to investigate your case from inside prison,” Damien says in response to your discoveries that Sunday  during Visitation. “I’ll pass it on to the people looking into your situation. I am, however, concerned about this attempt on your life. Do you want me to pull some strings with the Warden? Get you into protective custody?”

You shake your head. “It’ll be easier to gather intel if I’m out and about. No worries, I’ve got my own protection detail.”

Damien grins brightly at you. You hadn’t realized how much you missed your closest friend until now. “So you did manage to make some friends, huh? See, you don’t realize how likeable you are, my friend, I knew you could do it.”

His praise makes you straighten in your chair. “Well, I mean, it helps that I’m trying to get that library implemented. Which reminds me, are there any strings you can pull in that department to get things moving along?”

“It also doesn’t surprise me that you’re trying to improve a prison’s quality of life from behind bars as well,” Damien teases with a shake of his head. “I’ve put in a good word, made some members of the department read your appeals. You’ll be glad to know you are this close to annoying them into doing something about it.”

“That does make me happy.” 

“Even if you aren’t cleared for a full on library at some point, I’m sure you’ll at least get more books.” Damien gives you a knowing look. “Not that that’ll stop you from aiming for an actual library, I’m sure.”

“You know me.” You cross your arms and your ankles. “I’m all about an even distribution of knowledge across classes and situations.”

You and Damien sneak in a quick hug before a guard calls you out for touching the visitor. “Stay safe, my friend,” he calls out by way of farewell.

You wave until he’s out of sight.

“Ain’t that the guy gunnin’ for mayor?” 

You turn around to see Yancy staring at the space Damien just exited through. “Yeah. We’re University buddies. I wouldn’t be where I am today without him.”

“In a prison with a target on youse’s back?”

You punch him lightly in the shoulder (and then marvel at the fact that you’re comfortable enough to do that with him). “On the District Attorney’s team. I spent a lot of my time in law school in a nonstop puddle of anxiety, and he not only supported me through it, but he also put in a good word to the DA to give me a chance. It took a year and a half of interning before I got a job.”

Yancy stares at you as the two of you head for the yard. “Thought youse weren’t good at makin’ acquaintances.”

“I’m not,” you confirm. “But Damien is. He saw a lonely, cranky person who came from nothing and decided that person was worth getting to know. I didn’t trust it for a while, but eventually...I did.”

“How?” The pain in his tone throws you for a loop and breaks your heart at the same time. “How do youse trust that someone won’t leave you behind?”

You look at him. Hopefully he won’t interpret the sympathy in your face as pity. You heard that the last person who pitied him ended up bloody and bruised in the infirmary. 

“It...it takes a while. I’ve had a lifetime of experience with people leaving me behind in some way or another. I’ve only been able to really trust three people: my parents and Damien. There’s an element of...taking a leap of faith, when it comes to trusting someone. And I’ve hit the ground hard in the past.”

“What makes youse so sure you won’t hit the ground again?” Yancy challenges, insistent.

“I’m not.” You sigh and look out at the prisoners mingling in the yard. Yancy’s gang is in the corner, laughing and pushing playfully at each other. “But Damien’s been there for me for years. And...I realized how exhausted I made myself, waiting for him to let me down. But he doesn’t ask for my trust, doesn’t ask for me to give more of myself than I’m willing to give. He just...accepts me for who I am. Same with my mom. There’s not much more I can ask for than that.” 

You glance at Yancy out of the corner of your eye and pretend not to notice how misty-eyed he looks. “It’s hard to give yourself to other people. Especially if you’re used to relying on yourself. I have to say, though...I can’t regret finally letting someone in.”

Yancy doesn’t look at you. Probably doesn’t even realize you’re looking at him. Doesn’t realize what you’re saying.

I was you, once. Distrusting and isolated. Ready to leave people before they could leave me. I still am, in some ways. And that’s okay. It doesn’t make you broken. Just lonely. And you don’t have to be lonely if you don’t want to be.

“Yeah, well,” Yancy sniffles. Once again, you pretend not to notice. “That’s all well and good until it’s too late.”

You finally turn to him, the bitter sadness in his tone chipping at your chest, but when you reach out to comfort him, somehow, he pulls away and scurries back into the prison.

You can’t help but feel like you’re missing something important.

---

The fact that you don’t learn the reason behind Yancy’s imprisonment until you’ve been in jail for almost four weeks is impressive, honestly. 

No one is willing to talk about it. Not that Yancy is secretive. He’s blatant about so many of his crimes, from the murderous kind all the way to the not-so-harmful loitering kind, but funnily enough, Tiny is the one who finally clues you in when the two of you are alone in the kitchen together. Apparently Yancy thinks it’s for the best to have your inmate protection detail extend to your job, so Tiny has switched from laundry to dishes with you.

“He killed his parents,” Tiny tells you. “His dad was a piece of work, a total dick. Not sure about his mom, but...I don’t think she was supposed to die. I think she was collateral damage. It was a pretty bad situation. Not that he’ll ever admit that. It’s bad for his reputation in here if he’s seen as anything but the cold bastard who murdered his own parents.”

That...that makes a tragic amount of sense. (For all the other unfortunate happenings in your life, at least you had loving parents. Well, one of them. The other wound up six feet under far too soon than he deserved. But Dad was good to you while you were alive, and you never stopped missing his embrace.)

Tiny tugs on your collar until you’re nose to nose with her. “I wouldn’t mention that to him, you hear me? The boss gets really intense about his parents. It’s not pretty.”

“I’ll take your word for it.”

“And if you tell him I’m the one who spilled the beans, I’ll cut you myself.”

“My lips are sealed.”

She nods and releases your shirt.

You keep to your word and don’t mention your newfound information about the most important inmate in Happy Trails Penitentiary. But the information stays in the back of your mind.

You’ve already written up a mental list of things to do when you get out of here. Now you’ve definitely got one more thing, placed below improving the meals here in Happy Trails and getting that library implemented:

Find out what happened with Yancy and his family.

---

The prison mattress is not comfortable. At all. Most of your nights for the first few weeks involve staring at the springs of the top bunk and willing yourself to sleep.

At least Heap-Ass came through on the items you asked for. He slipped a bundle of ballpoint pens and paper under your pillow sometime when you weren’t in your cell. All it cost was six packs of cigarettes you’ve been hoarding. (It’s a good thing you don’t smoke, otherwise this form of currency would be much harder for you to handle.) Your lists are far more coherent, less smudgy, and less ink-splattered.

It takes about five weeks as well, since your arrival, to finally hear back from the state legislature about getting an expanded library collection. 

You’re summoned to the mail room by an equally eager Rex and grin like an idiot at the sight of four large boxes. Rex tears one open with extreme prejudice and the two of you stare in giddy delight at the books inside. You go for another box to open. 

“Is my poetry in there?!” Rex demands as you start sorting through the pile until you find the letter included with the packages.

“I’ve been asked to please stop my letter campaign,” you report to Rex. “And to stop heavily implying that I know enough dirty secrets to get some of them thrown out of the office, or at least in the tabloids for a few months.”

“Damn, Eagle,” yes, apparently the guards have picked up your nickname too, “you’re fearless, aren’t you?”

“They sure are,” Yancy declares upon his sudden entrance in the room. “So we got ourselves an expansion, huh?”

You victoriously hold up a copy of the Velveteen Rabbit. “I can’t wait to see Tiny’s face when she gets this.” You gesture at one of the still unopened boxes. “See if you find anything you like, Yancy.”

“What about my poetry?!”

“No worries, Rex!” You gather a pile into your hands and scan the spines. “Looks like we’ve got Pablo Neruda, T.S. Eliot, Yeats, oh!” Your grin stretches into something even brighter. “We got Langston Hughes and Edna St. Vincent Millay!” You pull out the Langston Hughes collection. “I wonder if I can talk them into sending over Lola Ridge next…”

“Wait, what?” Yancy steps up and pulls a copy of The Sun Also Rises from the box to examine. “Youse want more?”

“This is just the beginning, Yancy.” You take a moment to flip through the Langston Hughes book. “I’m hoping to get an actual library here, not just a bigger book cart or closet.” A page title catches your attention and you stop to read the contents:

“Hold fast to dreams

For if dreams die

Life is a broken-winged bird

That cannot fly.

Hold fast to dreams

For when dreams go

Life is a barren field

Frozen with snow.”

You don’t realize how quiet the room has become until you mutter the last word. You look up and realize your little reading attracted the attention of passing inmates and a few guards. Rex is looking into the distance with a dreamy, glazed look, the Pablo Neruda collection clutched to his chest. 

Yancy, meanwhile, is staring at you like he’s never seen you before. “What...what was that?”

You flash the book cover at him. “It’s called ‘Dreams.’ It’s one of my favorite poems.” When he doesn’t stop staring, you hand him the book and return to your pile. “I don’t read Langston Hughes all the time, but he’s definitely someone people should be familiar with.”

“Why’s that?”

“There are plenty of renowned old-ass white male writers,” you respond. “People should be just as familiar with the ones who aren’t white. Or male.”

Yancy shakes his head. He still looks rather wrong-footed. “I’ll take youse’s word for it.”

He says that, but that evening, while you’re once again trying to fall asleep while every spring of the mattress presses into your back, Yancy’s head pops down again and he drops a book onto your lap. It’s a book of Yeats poetry.

“Read it.”

“I have, Yancy--”

“Out loud,” he clarifies. After a beat of you giving him a stern Look, he tacks on, “Please?”

A tender smile grows on your face, while your mind ponders on how the hell you’ve gotten to the point in your life where you’re going to read poetry out loud to the most feared man in the prison. And how you’ve gotten to the point where you can demand he speak to you more politely than he deigns to others.

“Um...was there any in particular you wanted me to read?” you ask when he disappears into his bunk again.

“Dealer’s choice, Eagle.”

You flip through the pages until you find “Reconciliation.” Before you start reading you find yourself muttering, “Life is already so goddamn weird.”

“Some may have blamed you that you took away

The verses that could move them on the day

When, the ears being deafened, the sight of the eyes blind

With lightning, you went from me, and I could find

Nothing to make a song about but kings…”

The consistent mutterings echoing in the hallways quiet down as you read. If this kind of undivided attention keeps up every time you read out loud, it’ll get you spoiled for when (not if) you get back to the DA’s office.

“...My barren thoughts have chilled me to the bone.”

“...I don’t understands all of it,” Yancy says suddenly, when you finish. “But youse make it sound nice.”

“If it helps,” you reassure, “I don’t always read poetry for the deeper meanings. It gets exhausting analyzing literature. Sometimes it’s good to just read for enjoyment. Comfort.”

“...got any others in that book youse’s fond of?”

“Yeah, do another one, Eagle!” shouts Shithole Hank from three cells down. 

“Speak up! We can barely hear you out here!” Jimmy joins in.

Jesus Christ, you’re going to get even less sleep than usual at this rate. “Okay, fine. What about ‘When You Are Old’?” 

To your surprise, Rex is the one who answers back. “That’s a good one!”

Why am I more accepted in a goddamn prison than my own workplace? Maybe better not to read too much into that one.

You clear your throat and start reading again. 

“When you are old and grey and full of sleep, 

And nodding by the fire, take down this book, 

And slowly read, and dream of the soft look,  

Your eyes had once, and of their shadows deep…” 

---

Link to Chapter 4 here!

Thank you for reading! Please relbog/comment! If you want to be tagged/untagged for the rest of this series or this pairing, please leave a message in my inbox!

@starcrossedforever87 , @dontworryaboutanything , @beereblogsstuff , @falseroar , @intemperantiae , @memetoyoko , @soul-wolf , @marki-dumb , @withjust-a-bite , @raimeyl , @scribbeetle , @its-dari , @neverisadork , @silver-owl413 , @sassy-in-glasses , @chelseareferenced , @sketchy-scribs-n-doods , @axolittle-boi , @wildfandom , @shrinkthisviolet , @purple-anxiety-blog , @conceitedink , @skidspace

[eponymous-rose]

Talks Machina Highlights - Critical Role Highlights C2E33 (September 11, 2018)

Tonight’s guests are Taliesin Jaffe and Liam O’Brien!

Announcements:

Support the RavenRook Kickstarter! Brian used one of their notebooks to take notes in his own home campaign. (”I was the Marisha.”)

The NYC live show on Thursday, October 4 still has tickets available! (Liam: ”It’s like the inside of Gilmore’s mind, that theater.”)

There’s a new State of the Role video on YouTube and the website!

Between the Sheets, CR’s new show, premieres on Monday, September 17 at 7 PM Pacific on CR’s Twitch channel, and then on YouTube about 36 hours later. The first episode features Taliesin Jaffe and is over an hour long. Brian: “Taliesin is like an endless well of darkness and love and joy. So many bad things.”

All Work No Play is returning! Premieres on the Twitch channel (also later windowed to YouTube) on Friday, September 28 at 7 PM Pacific. A dire warning from Brian: “Have liquid nowhere near your mouth.” Liam: “We’ve seen some things.”

CR is raising money for the Pablove Foundation!

@critrolestats for this episode:

This is the first episode of campaign 2 to have no crits.

There were 16 spells cast this week. Ten of them were Disguise Self, six of those by Jester. Taliesin: “Sometimes you don’t want to be the guy who’s nine feet tall in the theater.”

Of the eight Sending messages Jester has sent this campaign, only her last one to the Gentleman was under the 25-word limit.

Liam: “I feel so sad that Laura can’t be here tonight, because I, personally, wanted to know what Laura thought about what happened in the last episode. I share your disappointment that I’m not Laura Bailey.” Taliesin: “He’s making a suit. It will eventually be okay.”

Caleb’s feelings about the ocean were tied up in finally being out of the Empire. “It was just a rare moment where all the things that weigh on him heavily receded for a bit.” Seeing Crownsguard in town did ramp up the worry again.

Taliesin hadn’t actually seen snowfall until he was a teenager, so the first time that happened was “an intense experience”. Caduceus has spent a lot of time thinking about how large the universe is, but having this confirmation was a really wonderful thing for him. He’s on a delighted high right now, and they’re going to have a hard time getting him away from the ocean.

Everyone talks briefly about their respective Tumblr Aesthetics. As you do.

Caleb’s thoughts on the ocean and the dodecahedron: “Confirming to himself that the universe is wide and vast and complicated, and there’s a hidden logic to it all. It was like seeing his heart’s desire splayed into an abstract form in front of him.”

Brian reminisces about some time they spent on the beach together. Liam was a sea monster. Ashley was attacked by a bug. Perhaps unsurprisingly, the police got involved.

Taliesin confirms that Caduceus really likes the group. “I mean, he doesn’t have a lot of people to compare them to.” He feels like he “really gets” Jester; she seems like the easiest book to read. Taliesin: “He knows what he knows. He knows he doesn’t know a lot, but he knows it doesn’t matter.”

Caleb didn’t assume that Jester’s mom was evil, it just didn’t sound like a great childhood. Caleb still feels sad that Jester had to go through that. “Nobody’s evil, it’s just that life is life and hard. He sees that Jester’s mother obviously loves her very much and is like, ‘I wish she got to see more of her.’” Brian points out that Caleb’s thoughts about other people are always much kinder than his thoughts about himself. Caleb’s constantly thinking, “Ah, this is what life would be like if I wasn’t terrible.” Taliesin points out that it is, by definition, what his life is like, but he’s not there yet. He feels detached.

Caduceus doesn’t understand “the entire nature” of the relationship between Beau and Jester and their pets. “I think if we had another person in the party, he would have the same-- ‘Cool, another.’ This is just three more living things to communicate with.” He likes the owl best so far.

Caduceus doesn’t really get what’s going on with Jester and the Gentleman. Taliesin: “That’s cool, man, get to know your dad!” Liam: “Caleb thinks that all of the Nein, except for Jester, are kind of fucked up and kind of problematic in their own ways... and then Jester’s one of us, more so.” 

Caduceus has a pretty positive relationship with his family. He’s 50-ish, which is the equivalent of early 20s. “He’s literally grown up in a monastery, so his early 20s is not necessarily other people’s early 20s.”

Gif of the Week: Travis’s Lore Alert.

The show gets derailed by Brian’s Dune-blue eyes. “Are you spicing?”

Part of Caleb being more watchful over Jester is being out of the Empire. “He sees chances to help people---he’s irredeemable, but he’d like to be helpful if he can. From his point of view, he’s got things that he’s going to do.”

Brian asks if Taliesin and Liam think there’s such a thing as an irredeemable character. Taliesin on Percy: “I tried to make an irredeemable character and failed.” As long as they’re not a caricature, it’s hard to pull that off. Taliesin: “As long as you have a character who’s trying to move toward something.” Liam: “I definitely intend Caleb to have some chance for redemption.” He doesn’t know where his story will go, but he wouldn’t play him otherwise. Taliesin: “He’s a villain only in his head, which is really the hardest fight of all.”

Dani points out that the Gentleman clearly wanted to keep his relationship with the Ruby on the down-low, and Jester bringing it up could backfire badly.

Marisha’s off-screen trying to catch a fly. Liam: “It’s Vecna. He’s immortal. He’s just been flying around the studio for months.”

Caduceus was looking for a particular kind of information, and “the lighthouse called to him. The lighthouse was his mission. If he’s focused on something like that, he’s focused. It’s very hard to distract him.” He didn’t get as much out of it as he wanted, and badly wants to know more.

Taliesin wrote a segment about the Wildmother in the upcoming artbook, some of which wound up bleeding through to Caduceus. Liam and Brian discuss Taliesin’s amazing writing.

Liam and Marisha get into an argument about the tower. Marisha: “Sometimes it’s just fun to hop the fence to say that you could! I’m not in this episode! Stop talking about me!”

Fanart of the Week: the Ruby of the Sea by ZomgDae!

An extremely deserved shout-out to Rachel Romero for everything she does!

Taliesin is asked if Caduceus has trained himself not to show anger, sadness, or fear. Taliesin points out that Caduceus hasn’t had a lot of reason to be angry, sad, or afraid yet. “He has a lot of very quiet and very personal delight. He’s not a creature of heavy desire. He’s not missing a lot. If something hadn’t gone wrong in his home, he never would have left it. He’s seen violence, and he’s very comfortable with the nature of violence.” Liam: “In the National Geographic sense.” Taliesin’s excited to see what happens if he or his companions are put in a place of real peril.

Liam was entertained that nobody playing the game picked up on Marisha, Matt, and Taliesin’s alter egos in the werewolf one-shot. Laura’s going to be up next in the DM chair at some point, and Taliesin has a fun idea as well.

Fast Times At Talks Machina: After Dark High:

Taliesin thinks Molly and Caduceus would get along pretty well; they had a lot in common. Taliesin was finishing up Molly’s playlist this week, and all the songs he cut wound up finding their way into Caduceus’s playlist.

Taliesin owns a book about presidential beards (because of course he does) and wants to take Brian through that journey. Brian actually grew his beard in the first place because Laura made a comment about him not looking good without one in an early episode of TM.

What would they use the dodecahedron for in real life? Job interviews, auditions, dates...

Dani asks about Frumpkin. Caleb specifically summoned Frumpkin as a cat because he’s a cat person, based on his experience with his childhood cat. Liam’s cat named Frumpkin was actually a siamese, not a bengal like in-game Frumpkin.

Taliesin: “All of our characters should have pets like Strawberry Shortcake.”

We leave you with this image:

[salty-dracon]

ace hang plays secret heroes the d&d campaign part 3

(they’re level 8??? i think???)

DM: The path through the woods is dark. You can only see the path in front of you and the various trees around. Someone roll me a perception check. 

Lily: *rolls* 1. 

DM: .... Okay? Uh... it’s dark. 

Val: Okay, so we’ve gotten ambushed by a swarm of rats, a bear, half a dozen hellhounds, two night hags, and ten ogre zombies... uh... now what? 

Arthur: I’m almost out of rage for the day.

DM: You suddenly hear the sound of hoofbeats. Suddenly, from out of the darkness, emerges a figure. It is wearing dark-colored armor and is riding a black horse. It carries a longsword in its hand. You can see its face- brown hair, luminous red eyes and pale skin. “To think that you overcame all that I put in your way... I should not have underestimated you.”

Brid: Can I see any of his skin?

DM: You can see his face. 

Brid: “Hey, handsome.”

DM: “Is that your way of throwing me off guard? Pitiful. And you call yourself a paladin.” He begins to circle around you on his horse, tracing a circle with his sword in the dirt. 

Brid: What can I tell about him? 

DM: He’s wearing black armor and is riding a horse with a weird aura. 

Brid: Mkay.

Lily: “So you’re the one who set all those things after us?”

DM: “But of course. These woods are dangerous enough. Yet you braved the creatures I sent after you. I am the last thing standing in the way between you and the sanctum. Of course, if you go there, you’ll find everyone already dead.”

Morgan: “So you killed the agents we were sent to meet?”

DM: “There is a festival tonight, is there not? The feast of the moon. There were many at the church... men, women, children... ” He holds his sword out. It is stained red with blood. “What do you think I was compelled to do when they watched me murder two of them?”

Arthur: Dear god. Um... “You killed every last one of them?“

DM: “Correct. But I found you had not reached me yet. What I seek lies somewhere upon your bodies... and I will have it as soon as I kill the last of you.”

Arthur: Um, DM?

DM: Yeah?

Arthur: What if we die? 

DM: .... I kind of didn’t expect you’d be this level by now, actually, so... you might not.

------

DM: Its hoofsteps catch up to you. You are hiding in the trees. “I know you’re there... ” It trots in a circle, awaiting your next move. Okay, everyone roll for initiative-

Val: FIREBOLT THAT BITCH

Lily: Crossbow his horse.

Brid: Not wasting my javelins. 

Arthur: *shrug*

DM: So... same as always. *rolls* Okay, Lily, followed by the Blackguard, then Val, then Brid, then Arthur. Anyway, it doesn’t matter for this round because y’all get the jump on him. *rolls dice* His steed takes 6 damage, and he takes... 11. Okay, Morgan shot the firebolt that hit his body, so he turns towards Morgan and Grustat and raises his sword. He charges into the forest. 

Val: Shit. 

DM: He *rolls* hits for *rolls* 1 damage. 

Val: Thank god. I dodge. 

DM: Okay. Brid? 

Brid: I stay put. 

Arthur: Greataxe that bitch and activate rage. 

DM: .... 4 damage. 

Lily: I run to the other side of the pass and climb a tree. 

DM: Okay. Acrobatics check. 

Lily: 10, plus modifier. 

DM: Okay, you’re good. You climb the tree. The Blackguard notices you, however, and casts, uh.... chill touch. You watch a ghostly white hand crawl up the tree and grab you, dealing *rolls* 7 damage. Okay, Val-

Val: FIREBOLT

DM: .... Okay, that’s... 18 damage. The blackguard’s steed disappears. 

Val: Okay so he’d be knocked prone, then? 

Lily: *smiles*

Brid: Nice. 

Arthur: GREATAXE AT ADVANTAGE

Brid: Uh.... uh.... Thunderous smite! Can I cast that at second level?

DM: *sigh* No. 

Brid: Dammit. 

-----

(One would-be-hard-except-they-literally-all-got-the-jump-on-him battle later)

DM: The Blackguard grasps his chest and backs away from you guys. “Perhaps I shouldn’t have underestimated you... even against myself. You especially, girl... you’ve grown.” He points at Verity. 

Brid: Do I know him? ... “Do you know me?”

DM: “Ha. How could I forget?” He casts Find Steed again. Another black horse appears next to him, which he quickly mounts and rides past you. You watch him disappear into the darkness. 

(Everyone is quiet) 

Lily: Oooooh, plot development.

Brid: Where the fuck would I know him? Hold on, where’s all that shit I wrote about my backstory- is he my dad or something? Did my dad just try to kill me?

Lily: Would it be the first time? 

Val: Nope.

-----

DM: You enter the sanctum. True to the Blackguard’s word, you find the walls stained with blood, and the bleeding, cold bodies of men, women, and children all over the ground. They have all been slashed in various places- most likely by the Blackguard’s sword. Not a living soul remains in the sanctum, except for you four.

Brid: I collapse to the ground and cry.

Arthur: I do the same.

(Val and Lily stare at each other)

Brid: At least be fucking sad, you edgelords!

Val: Listen, Morgan is a stone-faced mage, he is not going to cry over dead bodies.

Brid: What is he, that guy from Noragami with the fucking katana?!

Lily: I’ll just step out for a bit, then. See if there’s someplace to sleep without the bloodbath.

Brid: Is that in character for you? 

Lily: Yeah, Kory’d try to be useful without being too sentimental. Anyway, what can I see and where can I move?

DM: There’s a door behind the altar. Trying not to slip on the pools of blood or step on the bodies of the dead, you reach the door. You attempt to open it, but you only hear a clatter. It’s locked. 

Lily: I search the door. 

DM: Perception check. 

Lily: *rolls* 4. 

DM: There’s a keyhole for a key. 

Lily: ... really?

DM: What?

Lily: I pick the lock with my thieves’ tools.

DM: Great idea. Dexterity check.

Lily: Uh... 3.

DM: ...

Lily: I try again.

DM: ... Why?

Lily: We have nowhere else to go!

DM: ... You can just search the room, y’know.

Val: Anyone of note?

DM: A man in black robes is lying behind the altar.

Val: I search him.

DM: Roll me a Perception check.

Val: ... 1.

DM: Oh, for the love of- *sigh* 

Lily: There’s something on his person, isn’t there? 

DM: Lily, why don’t you check? 

Lily: *rolls* 2. 

DM: ... I’m technically not allowed to do this but... there’s a key on his belt.

Lily: I unlock the door with it. 

DM: Good job, you two. 

Lily: I exit the door. 

DM: The area behind the altar is bloodless, though a bit dusty. It’s filled with supplies for the church. There’s some bedrolls and food back there. Perception check. 

Lily: *rolls* 1. 

DM: ... are you fucking kidding me oh my god what the fuck

------

DM: Okay, good morning, guys, what’s good? I guess you’re preparing to leave for Steelfield.

Lily: I steal some bread from the stores.

DM: Dexterity check-

Brid: “Put that back, we’ve got enough shit and I’m not stealing from a church!”

Lily: I slowly put the bread back. 

Brid: “Good girl.”

Morgan: I steal some bread while Verity isn’t looking. 

Brid: You son of a bitch. 

Morgan: Hey, it’s gonna go to waste if we don’t eat it, right?

DM: Dexterity check-

Val: *rolls* 9. 

DM: .... Nope.

Arthur: We’re only a day from town, aren’t we? Besides, I can forage if we can’t get food until then. 

DM: Okay, so now what? 

Lily: I guess it’s time we leave.... Brid, can you like, lay them to rest or something with your paladin powers? 

Brid: ... I try? 

Lily: Okay, you do that, I’m gonna run outside and see what the road’s like. 

DM: Good choice. 

Val: We’re about to get ambushed, aren’t we? 

Lily: Okay, I look outside. What’s the road like?

DM: Perception check. 

Lily: *rolls* 20. 

DM: .... god, why couldn’t you have pulled this last night... anyway, you see a fork in the road leading to some large plains. The other road, the road to Steelfield, looks pretty clear, except for what looks like a number of guards around Steelfield’s walls. They look strange, though... almost like zombies. Also, you notice someone watching you not far down the road. It’s the blackguard from last night. 

Lily: I’m not picking a fight. 

DM: It’s unarmed. It looks like it’s packing up camp. In no state to fight you. 

Lily: ... I approach him? 

DM: *happy sigh* Yeah! Exposition time! Are you stealthy or open? 

Lily: Stealthy. 

DM: So you just sneak up on the guy. Okay. He’s about forty feet away. So, as you sneak up behind him, he says “Come on out. I don’t want to fight you.”

Lily: I walk out. 

DM: The blackguard’s camp looks like a small campfire. Its glowing steed is tied to a tree, carrying a couple of packs of stuff. The blackguard speaks again. “How long have you been traveling with the girl?”

Lily: “You mean Verity?”

DM: “Yes.”

Lily: “About three months. Why, do you know her?”

DM: Roll me a charisma check. 

Lily: *rolls* 10. 

Brid: Awwwww.

DM: “I was her caretaker when she was a babe. I taught her everything she knows.”

Lily: “So are you her father, or-” Wait, how much of Brid’s backstory do I know? 

Brid: Uhhh... Let’s just say you know I was raised by my church. 

DM: “She does not carry my blood, but she is nonetheless my daughter. Rest assured that I do not wish to harm her.”

Lily: “Are you an enemy of CROWN?”

DM: “No.” As he boards his horse, he smiles at you. “The amulet you’re carrying- see that you bear it safely to the queen. I also recommend you visit one Sage of Serpents in the forest just out of Steelfield. She may provide some insight that will prove useful in the future.” With a friendly wave, he rides off into the distance, toward the righthand path, leading into the open plains. 

Brid: ... I do have a dad... and I called him sexy... 

DM: It’s a mistake anyone would make, believe me. 

Val: I’m sorry WHAT

-------

[newssplashy]

World: Now running for office, Adam Greenberg. You may remember his first at-bat

GUILFORD, Conn. — Adam Greenberg, wearing a violet tie and an assured expression, inched closer to the edge of his chair at the Guilford Community Center.

At stake was the endorsement of 40 Republican delegates to run for Connecticut’s 12th Senate District seat.

Ted Kennedy Jr., a son of the senator from Massachusetts who died in 2009, had held the seat for four years and was now leaving office.

“I was confident,” Greenberg said last week as he thought back to that moment this spring when he addressed the delegates. “When I’d walk into a batter’s box, I was very prepared.” He said he felt no different as he staked out to the delegates how he would conduct his candidacy.

Greenberg, 37, chief executive of a health and nutrition company, had competition that day. Jerry Mastrangelo, a co-owner of a chain of gyms, was also seeking the Republican endorsement.

And for a while, Vincent Candelora, a Republican assemblyman in Connecticut, thought he would, too.

“But when I heard Adam’s name come up, it took me aback,” said Candelora, who ended up giving the nominating speech for Greenberg and watching him easily beat out Mastrangelo for the endorsement. “I remember thinking, wow, I never thought Adam would ever be interested in this arena. It gets tough, at times. But after I met and spoke to him, I realized it was somewhere he should be.”

And somewhere Greenberg never thought he would be during all those years that he tried to battle back from the beaning he suffered in his first major league at-bat.

A former all-state baseball player at Guilford High School and a ninth-round pick of the Chicago Cubs in 2002, Greenberg was called up to the major leagues on July 7, 2005. The Cubs were in Atlanta, playing the Braves.

“I unpacked my bags at the hotel for my first time as a professional baseball player,” Greenberg said. “I was thinking, I am here to stay.”

Two days later, still preparing for his first moment on the field, he sat at the end of the visitor’s dugout, at what was then known as Dolphins Stadium, as the Cubs prepared to play the Miami Marlins. Cubs manager Dusty Baker had resolved to get Greenberg into a game in Florida because his parents were in town.

“I don’t know what the Cubs expected of him,” Baker said, “but I liked what I saw. His head was on his shoulders as a player and as a person. He was confident but not cocky.”

Greenberg waited for his chance that night, squeezing a bat while wearing batting gloves. In the top of the ninth, with the Cubs leading, 4-2, the team’s pitching coach, Dick Pole, told Greenberg he would be hitting for pitcher Will Ohman.

Greenberg grabbed a helmet. His teammates wished him luck as he climbed the dugout steps.

The Cubs’ first hitter in the ninth, Todd Hollandsworth, grounded out to short against the left-hander Valerio de los Santos.

Then it was Greenberg’s turn. It would be lefty against lefty.

“It didn’t matter to Adam if it was against a right- or left-handed pitcher,” Baker said. “You come up facing everybody. He wanted the at-bat. Every kid remembers his first at-bat.”

Greenberg dug in for the first pitch, slightly bending his knees. It was a 92 mph fastball.

“You get three-tenths of a second,” Greenberg said. “The first tenth I’m thinking don’t bail because if it’s a curve I look stupid, and it’s strike one. The second tenth I realized the ball wasn’t breaking. By the third tenth, my only thought was to get out of the way, and the only thing I could do was to turn into the catcher.”

The pitch struck him under the helmet, the impact sounding like an explosion as he collapsed into the dirt in front of Marlins catcher Paul Lo Duca.

“It scared me to death,” Greenberg said. “My eyes rolled into the back of my head. I grabbed my head because I thought it was split open and that I would bleed out and die. I never lost consciousness. I said two words three times: Stay alive, stay alive, stay alive.”

“Paul Lo Duca looked down and said in a calming voice, ‘Stay down, you are going to be OK,'” he added. “One of the questions the trainers asked me was, ‘Where were you two days ago?’ I said, ‘I was in the minors, and I’m not going back.'”

In the end, Greenberg did go back to the minors — for eight more years. It was a struggle. He had suffered a concussion from the beaning and was then left with vertigo symptoms and vision issues. He did not play baseball the rest of that season and, a year later, with him back in the minor leagues and flailing, the Cubs made the decision to release him.

That led to a minor league odyssey that included stints with other organizations, along with a heavy dose of independent league baseball. A second chance in the major leagues continued to elude him.

In 2009, Greenberg was made aware of a campaign started by a Cubs fan, Matt Liston, to secure him another chance to play in the majors. Nothing came of it.

But several years later, in 2012, after Greenberg had played for Israel in its unsuccessful bid to qualify for the World Baseball Classic, David Samson, then the president of the Marlins, offered him a one-day contract to appear in an end-of-season game against the Mets.

Greenberg accepted, and his new teammates, aware of his saga, embraced him.

“What I remember about him was that he was a cool guy,” said New York Yankees outfielder Giancarlo Stanton, who played right field for Miami that night.

In the bottom of the sixth inning, Marlins manager Ozzie Guillen called for Greenberg, wearing No. 10, to pinch-hit and lead off the inning.

New York Mets pitcher R.A. Dickey, who won a Cy Young Award that season, threw him three knuckleballs. Greenberg took the first for a strike, then swung and missed at the next two.

He walked back to the dugout, his teammates hugging him, the crowd standing and cheering. His major league career was over, but it now included more than just a beaning.

“I wish he had faced Dickey first,” Baker said, thinking back to 2005. “It might have been a totally different story.”

Greenberg remembered feeling overjoyed that he had gotten a second chance, as brief at it was. But the feeling didn’t last long. A week later, his wife Lindsay’s identical twin, Melissa Marottoli Hogan, was admitted to the hospital with Stage 4 lung cancer. She died two months later.

And then, on the night of the funeral, Greenberg got a call from the Baltimore Orioles, inviting him to spring training. Once again, he said, he needed to find a way to balance his emotions.

He was now 32 and running out of time, but he reported to the Orioles early in 2013, still intent on proving he could play at the big-league level. But he was not offered a job. Instead, he again signed with the Bridgeport Bluefish of the independent Atlantic League, giving himself one more chance.

But for the first time, he added, “I had my doubts.”

“My wife was still in trauma,” he said. “My business was taking off. And it began to affect my performance. My average tanked. There was no inspiration to go to the park.”

One night, in a game in Maryland, Greenberg drifted back for a fly ball. It hit the tip of a finger on his throwing hand.

“The finger exploded, split in half,” Greenberg said. “But I went back into the clubhouse feeling more relieved than I’d ever been. Somebody was essentially saying to me, ‘Well, are we good now?'”

He did not play after that season. And by March 2018, his new path seemed assured. Along with running his business, he had written a book and had become a public speaker. And by then a friendship forged at a gymnasium years before was helping to open another door: politics. More specifically, a seat in the state Senate.

“In my position, I have probably talked more people out of running than into it,” said J.R. Romano, chairman of Connecticut’s Republican Party. “I lay down the specifics of what it’s going to take, how hard it will be and the personal difficulties associated with how much they will be attacked. I wanted Adam to know, as a friend, that I was not trying to talk him into something he didn’t want to do.”

Greenberg said the decision to seek the Republican endorsement for the seat was not easy.

“For two nights, I didn’t sleep,” he said. And then he made up his mind to go for it. “Here was the chance to do something on a large scale to help a lot of people,” he said. “I thought I could be that guy.”

And now he will be — if he can win the election. It will not be easy. The Democrats have controlled the seat since 2004, and Kennedy’s two victories over his Republican opponent Bruce Wilson were by enormous margins.

Greenberg does not describe himself as an acolyte of President Donald Trump, who is not particularly popular in parts of Connecticut, a consistently blue state. He said he veers from Trump’s policies in some very specific ways and cited his support for abortion rights.

“I asked the Republican caucus, J.R. Romano specifically, what would my obligations to the party be,” Greenberg said. “When they said you can make your own decisions, I said, ‘I’m in.'”

The Democrats have endorsed Christine Hunter Cohen, the owner of a bagel company in Madison, who sits on Guilford’s Board of Education. Both she and Greenberg are running unopposed in the August primaries.

Nick Balletto, Connecticut’s Democratic state chairman, acknowledged that “Adam has a great story” but maintained that Cohen’s experience in public service would be a significant factor in the November balloting.

Still, the Republicans see a Connecticut footprint that Greenberg can build on. He was born in New Haven, attended public school in Guilford and moved back here in 2013, where he and his wife are raising two sons.

“What I know is what I bring to the table,” he said. “I accomplished something that is very difficult; very few people have a chance to make it to the major leagues. I have been knocked down and gone through tremendous struggles. I can relate to those who also have.”

In a sense, Greenberg is digging in once again, 13 years after a pitch hit him in the head and changed his life. He would appear to be as determined as ever.

This article originally appeared in The New York Times.

John Altavilla © 2018 The New York Times

source http://www.newssplashy.com/2018/07/world-now-running-for-office-adam_30.html

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Trump’s 41 most eye-popping lines from his Pensacola speech

(CNN)President Donald Trump was in Pensacola, Florida, on Friday night to rally support in advance of the Alabama special election between Roy Moore and Doug Jones on Tuesday.

Trump's speech was a classic in the Trump vein. I went through and picked out some of the most eye-catching lines. They're below.

1. "And you think this crowd is big, you should see right now what's outside. Congratulations."

Trump is always, always, always obsessed with crowd size. He views it as a measure of success. Or popularity. Or something. Also, I love the "congratulations" thrown in there. "Congratulations for being a big crowd. Well done."

2. "The Emerald Coast in the great state of Florida, where we had a tremendous victory, didn't we?"

Not sure if you heard, but Trump won Florida in 2016. Also, he won the Electoral College when no one thought he could. Also also, the election was 396 days ago.

3."Let me begin by wishing each and every one of you a very Merry Christmas; right?"

So we are saying "Merry Christmas" again!

4. "There's been no first year like this, or at least just about no; I think the answer is no, but I have to be very accurate because of the fake news back there."

The best first year. I think. Probably definitely. Also, fake news.

5. "By the way, how are your 401(k)s doing? Not too bad, right?"

[checks 401(k)] Not too bad!

6. "With us it goes up, with them it goes down -- and that's the end of the election, right?"

I'm convinced! (Trump is talking about the economy here and previewing his 2020 argument against Democrats.)

7. "We're going to speak the plain truth, and really the truth that you just want to hear -- you have to hear. They don't want to hear."

This idea, regularly pushed by Trump, that the media isn't interested in hearing the truth, is both wrong and pernicious.

8. "Did you see all the corrections the media has been making. They're saying sorry -- they've been doing that all year. They never apologize."

A few things here: a) Yes, the media makes mistakes b) When we make mistakes, we admit them, try to be transparent about how they happened and work to ensure they don't happen again, and c) If we in the media are "saying sorry" then how can it also be true that we "never apologize"?

9. "Get yourself a lawyer and sue ABC News. Sue them."

Trump's logic here is that because ABC News correspondent Brian Ross' incorrect report about the Russia investigation drove down the stock market briefly, people who lost money should be allowed to sue him. That is, um, not how any of this works.

10. "They apologized -- oh, thank you, CNN. Thank you so much. You should've been apologizing for the last two years. True. True."

CNN did not apologize. We corrected a story. Which happens. It's called accountability.

11. "We've created 2.2 million new jobs, factories are coming back to our country."

Trump's own Labor Department puts that number slightly lower: 1.9 million jobs.

12. "Any Hispanics here? Any Hispanics? Any Hispanics? You guys were great."

Hispanics: Terrific job. At something. I think.

13. "Remember, they weren't going to vote for me because I'm going to build the wall -- but they want the wall too."

Trump got 28% of the Hispanic vote in 2016. Mitt Romney got 27% of the Hispanic vote in 2012.

14. "What, we have Cubans here tonight? Good. Was the number 86% in favor of Trump? A tremendous percentage."

Trump won 54% of Cubans in Florida in 2016.

15. "Consumer confidence is at a 17-year high -- think of that."

True!

16. "We have some very good things happening with respect to health care, and the taxes are a part of it, and you'll see what happens right after taxes. You're going to see what happens."

What a cliffhanger!

17. "I kept you out of the TPP, which would have been a total disaster for you and for everybody else."

Trump is not down with TPP.

18. "They then come back because we're the big piggy bank that everybody likes robbing."

Potential future national motto: "America: We're an easily-robbed piggy bank."

19. "I love these guys. Look at these guys, 'blacks for Trump.' I love you. I love you. I love you."

I love you, man (is a terrible movie).

20. "Hillary resisted and you know what happened? She lost the election in a landslide."

Final 2016 popular vote count:

Hilary Clinton: 65,853,516

Donald Trump: 62,984,825

21. "This is a rigged -- this is a rigged system. This is a sick system."

This is the president of the United States. The head of the government. Telling people that the "system" is "sick" and "rigged." Truly amazing.

22. "We have a rigged system in this country and we have to change it. Terrible. Terrible."

See #21

23. "Thanks to General Mattis and the military leaders and the allies -- Mad Dog -- Mad Dog Mattis. Mad Dog Mattis."

I have long believed that if Mattis' nickname was "Tiny" rather than "Mad Dog," Trump would have been less inclined to choose him as Secretary of Defense.

24. "Oh, surveillance? That sounds familiar. That sounds familiar. Remember when I suggested something like that -- everyone said, Trump, why is he saying? Well, it turned out I was right about that one, wasn't I?"

You were not. Trump said that President Barack Obama ordered wiretaps of him at Trump Tower. Every intelligence agency has said that didn't happen.

25. "We'll have borders on top of borders."

What would that, um, look like?

26. "We will stay American and be proud of it -- and that's what's happening more and more. That's why I see all of those red hats and those white hats. I love those hats."

Make your own MAGA hat!

27. "I said, you mean I beat Abraham Lincoln? That's pretty good for 10 months."

He's talking specifically here about the number of regulations he's gotten rid of since becoming President -- in case you were wondering.

28. "When we were doing well during that beautiful election night -- when we were doing well all over Florida, I said, was the Pensacola area included yet? And they said no. I said, guess what? We just won that election."

The election ended 396 days ago.

29. "Did you see West Virginia? I love West Virginia. West Virginia. I love West Virginia."

Things Trump loves according to this speech (so far): Blacks for Trump, West Virginia, MAGA hats.

29. "We make the greatest missiles, the greatest military equipment anywhere in the world."

The best missiles. Not close. Believe me.

30. "The first thing I see is that big beautiful Merry Christmas sign. I mean, can you believe it?"

Um, yes?

31. "It was summer, but I said, you know, we are going to say Merry Christmas. But let me just tell you, the department stores, right, they had the beautiful red walls, they had snowflakes all over the place, they had everything. Only one thing missing, the words 'Merry Christmas.' They are using those words again. Do you notice? They are using those words again."

Trump 2020: "I brought back Christmas. You're welcome."

32. "This guy is screaming, we want Roy Moore. He is right."

In case there was any doubt why Trump was in Pensacola, this should clear it right up.

33. "I love our veterans."

Running list of what Trump "loves": Blacks for Trump, West Virginia, MAGA hats, veterans.

34. "I can't believe that Arnold Schwarzenegger bombed so badly on 'The Apprentice' -- my poor, beautiful show. Oh, it was so successful. We get a big movie star and he can't pull it off."

This came in the middle of Trump talking about the Veterans Affairs Department. Why? Your guess is as good as mine.

35. "These are bad people. These are very, very bad and evil people. They know who they are."

Trump is talking about people who disagree with his agenda. And, yes, this contributes to our inability to disagree without being disagreeable. Or avoiding villainizing those who don't agree with us.

36. "They will lie and leak and smear because they don't want to accept the results of an election where we won by a landslide."

Final 2016 popular vote count:

Hilary Clinton: 65,853,516

Donald Trump: 62,984,825

37. "A poll came out today on CNN. Such a fake. A poll came out."

I think Trump is referring to this Pew poll that showed him at 32% approval. But, how did he see it since he always says he never watches CNN???

38. "We need some love in the country. I would love to bring both sides together if that's possible. There is a lot of hatred out there."

"These are bad people. These are very, very bad and evil people. They know who they are." -- Donald Trump, like 30 seconds before this quote.

39. "Although I'm doing a good job, I guess, right? I'm President. I'm President."

I have absolutely no idea what he's going for here. But, he is President.

40. "And she said no, no, no, my bunch of dummies -- bunch of dummies."

Trump takes an, ahem, dim view of the campaign Clinton ran.

41. "Whether we are from the city or the country, and whether we are black or brown or white, you've heard it before, we all bleed the same red blood."

"No one makes me bleed my own blood." -- White Goodman

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Gaming enables Aaron Sanchez put together for mound

TORONTO — As with pitching, Aaron Sanchez takes his video gaming severely.

“I do not want to talk myself up but I assume I play way an excessive amount of. So if I am now not properly then there’s a problem,” he stated with a grin.

The 24-yr-vintage Blue Jays right-hander is featured on the Canadian cover of “MLB The Show 17,” the newly released baseball (generic term) for the Ps four.

For Sanchez, the sport is greater than a laugh. It enables him to preserve up with the most important leagues.

“If I’ve time pre-sport on my begin, there is an option wherein it indicates all of the games which might be going to be played that day and you can pass and select the matchup in terms of pitchers, how they think the lineup’s going to be,” he said.

the sport also frequently updates rosters, putting call-America inside the lineup if it thinks they’ll start.

“So I will attempt to get a touch scouting report earlier than the game in phrases of what guys like to do,” stated Sanchez, who went 15-2 closing season and led the Yankee League in earned-run average at 3.00. “there are (hitting) hot zones which are pretty (real) to real existence.

“It’d sound a touch weird that you can get a scouting document from a video game but it is clearly feasible,” he delivered with fun.

Sanchez grew up gaming in Barstow, Calif., as a minimum as a lot as his dad and mom could allow him.

“When I had the unfastened time, I was surely either on my Ps Portable or within the backroom in which my mother and father did not understand that I used to be gambling,” he said with amusing. “however I have continually played ‘The Display’ and (am) just humbled to also be on the cover of this and representing Ps. So it’s cool.”

In being the game’s Canadian cover boy, Sanchez is following in the footsteps of teammates Jose Bautista (2012, ‘thirteen) and Russell Martin (2015) and the now departed Brett Lawrie (2014).

Toronto third baseman Josh Donaldson became also on the cover of both the Canadian and U.S. editions an ultimate year.

This 12 months, the U.S. cowl capabilities Hall of Famer Ken Griffey Jr.

“I think that changed into one of the coolest reports about this,” stated Sanchez. “I always funny story around with my pals and get in touch with myself The child, (so) to be a cowl athlete with the real Youngster is some thing surreal.”

When Sanchez isn’t gambling “The Display,” he favors EA Sports activities’ NHL title over the FIFA game this is famous with some of his teammates.

“it is a bit bit extra speedy-paced,” he said. “Football isn’t always truly something that I watch in real-life. I generally tend to play games that are something I really like. I’ll play Madden, I will play Supercross, I’ll play golf.”

When he performs “The Display,” he will usually choose a new challenge.

“I know myself so nicely in the sport that I’ll try and play my pals inside the league. So from time to time I play the Phillies and pitch as (Vince) Velasquez. every now and then I play the Mets and pitch as (Noah) Syndergaard.”

but there are times While he performs for continues.

“If I’m playing and i really need to beat them, I will typically pick out the Jays and pitch myself due to the fact I realize me the fine.”

Gaming typically beckons at night time for Sanchez.

“My recurring is proper before bed. If I have time to play after the sport Whilst my day’s done, I’ll get on there and play a few friends or play my ‘Street to the Show’ or get on my season mode I have started. I do play as much as time lets in, I guess you may say.”

Textual content Adventure video games Assist Distant places Soldiers

For those of our international locations preventing ladies and men who get deployed, finding a way to pass the time can be tough. you can handiest log a lot time operating out, or every other bodily sports made to be had to you anyplace you’ll be stationed, earlier than things begin to turn out to be a drain to your thoughts. Solution? Gaming. free Text video games.

Positive, many troops may like gambling their console games down range, however there’s the constant fear of something taking place to their machine inflicting it to break. The choice to play Large Multiplayer Online games exists, but possibly there isn’t always enough bandwidth to pipe your recreation through. Heck, maybe you acquire a netbook as it’s reasonably priced and lasts some time, leaving you missing at the requirements to play many of the ones MMOs out there. Here is a really reasonably-priced (unfastened) way to bypass the time and also have a few amusing. Textual content based RPG games or MUDs (multi-consumer dungeons).

With the multitude of Online Text games to be had on your enjoyment, there are continually a ramification of options to be had for what to play. I, personally, locate that gambling unfastened Textual content video games maintains my mind occupied When it is not busy protecting the country. It gives me a innovative outlet to exercise parts of my thoughts which might be otherwise unused whilst out in doing the army job. I’m able to easily hook up with an available net source and play Online Text games to my hearts content, socializing, fighting different games, or just going for walks around killing each denizen inside the Online Textual content game global in which I pick out to play. The opportunities are infinite for those folks out here, and those of you who might be in some of the trickier places obtainable.

The advantages to simply zoning out right into a video game are quite obvious: passage of time. Nothing honestly helps passing the time more than logging some unfastened hours preventing the forces of magic or possibly building a Clan that worships a forbidden deity of a protracted-misplaced culture. you could without problems burn via most of a deployment running out, doing all your process, and gambling a few Text Adventure games.

Yet any other benefit of gambling these unfastened Online Text games is the potential to hold your social networks. Logging into this type of Online Textual content video games, even at a few abnormal hours in comparison to our buddies returned domestic, gives you enough opportunity to speak, perhaps about real existence, or possibly accomplishing a roleplaying scenario inside those Textual content Journey video games that will help you forget about your difficult conditions (despite the fact that simplest for a bit while). I find that simply having the ability to speak to pals from my Iron Realms On-line Text games helps me push through a number of the harder humps I come across whilst deployed. Being far from households and pals may be difficult, but being able to log in as my favorite characters and communicate to the ones who have end up friends through those loose Textual content games makes it a lot less harsh for me after long months of living the deployed way of life.

The closing large benefit I can hit on is a technical one. While I’m deployed, I see a lot of my brothers and sisters in fingers the use of netbooks. It would not truly provide a lot for gaming (unless you are willing to attain lower back and play games from lengthy ago), and most of the time the simplest element it is accurate for is checking 1ec5f5ec77c51a968271b2ca9862907d or playing solitaire. The netbook I exploit is Complete of masses of spreadsheets and documents about Textual content based RPG games, consisting of my dust purchaser (ZMud for individuals who are curious). it is were given a protracted battery life (that is splendid thinking about how hardly ever you get time to surely charge it returned to Complete lifestyles) and decent difficult power space (300 gigabytes average for most netbooks on the market) for storing all of your pics, motion pictures, tune and miscellaneous Text primarily based RPG facts. The exceptional element: they run ALL Online Textual content recreation customers I have ever visible hit the marketplace, that means you may use your favorite client and simply log in, gambling until your eyes bleed.

How Video video games Helped Me Give up Smoking

In rather latest years, there has been a campaign of anti-smoking advertisements from BecomeAnEx.Org, and i loved them. It was the primary time I felt like a person simply found the name of the game to quitting smoking, and supplied it from a sympathetic angle, with a humorousness and a sincere choice to Help people who smoke.

I have seen many commercials in opposition to smoking over the years. Some have attempted preventing cigarettes by means of unveiling statistics about smoking and its enterprise, with this self-righteous “look how clever we’re” method this is as an alternative alienating. it’s like being instructed to Stop smoking by using a person who is greater invested of their advertising pitch than the trouble to hand.

After which there have been the deluge of “scare tactic” classified ads that Show you blackened lungs and those residing with tracheotomies. even as I think those advertisements maintain a few well worth, they may be much more likely to offer a smoke pause, as opposed to without a doubt supporting them to Give up. Our selective reminiscence kicks in, and kicks out the awful ones.

The aforementioned marketing campaign, however, nailed the essence of the smoking hassle in some short moments. It mentioned that smoking is strongly related to habitual conduct; you smoke together with your morning cup of coffee, during your morning ordinary, or in the course of satisfied hour on the bar. these commercials suggested that you could relearn all of those sports without a cigarette. The only approximately glad hour even cautioned you “keep a larger in a single hand and anything but a cigarette within the different”. this is clever advice.

bodily addiction of nicotine is Nothing Whilst compared to the intellectual dependency of smoking. That is why sporting a patch doesn’t immediately restoration the trouble; a smoker still wants to keep and smoke a cigarette. mental dependency is king. I used to be pretty fortunate; I regularly gave up smoking honestly due to the fact I used to be now not taking part in it anymore, and that made it a ways less difficult to stroll away. however some of that recurring smoking through association became still rearing its unpleasant head. Getting rid of these previous few lines of defense may be the hardest.

When you Give up cigarettes (or are in the procedure of doing so), you can word positive new behavior taking up quickly. As soon as of them is the well-known one: consuming. And other ones pop up, like chewing the caps from pens (until they may be completely unrecognizable). however, one interest that interfered with my smoking changed into totally by chance, and Yet so powerful at preserving my thoughts and frame off of smoking, it must be endorsed in guide groups: playing video video games.