#me during most of it: what a fun little show w/ great music and vibes! i love watching these idiots going on their silly little adventures!

[justwatchmebloom]

i recently watched cowboy bebop for the first time (i'm late i know i know) and i am not okay

[lilacsandwhiskey]

I’m currently obsessed with tiktok and tom holland so I’m obsessed with imagines about both. i think it would be cute if you do a tiktok trend with the boys but like the world doesn’t know about reader and Tom so people are shipping her with one of the guys? like from the tiktok? Tom maybe gets jealous or something ? idk i’m rambling haha

Thanks for the request anon :) I hope this was okay!

Heartbreak Anniversary

Pairing: Tom Holland x Reader

Warnings: mentions of pandemic and COVID, cussing, maybe suggestive at points???, angst, jealous Tom, uhhh sucky writing and no proofreading so bare w ya girl n kinda longer than I anticipated but here we are :)

Notes: italics = flashback

If someone asked you how you managed to get a life as crazy as your’s, you’d simply reply “just meet Harrison and become best friends.” You almost couldn’t fathom what your life looked like right now - you sat in the kitchen with your two friends, Harry and Tuwaine, who had fallen into the pits of TikTok with you, while Harrison, Sam, and your beloved, Tom, sat in the living room, screeching at the television as they watched a game. All of this, while in the middle of a worldwide pandemic.

You didn’t officially live with the boys, but you might as well have. Your apartment was only minutes away, but with how communal your living situation was, Tom simply talked it over with his brothers and best friends, who didn’t even hesitate to scream yes when he asked if you could stay there. It was “safest,” he explained when he begged you to come stay for a while. So you did.

How did we get here? It all started with a little project, Harrison Osterfield, and him playing cupid.

——————————

“Clumsy, are we?” Harrison managed to balance you as you tripped over your own two feet, walking into the studio. “What makes you think that?” You huffed back, a small laugh escaping your lips. “Just get that vibe.” He replied, shrugging with a smile.

It didn’t take long for you and Harrison to practically become the best of friends. He soon was inviting you out to drinks with his friends, who immediately accepted you. Though you and Harrison’s friendship was strictly platonic, you found him itching to find out about your relationship status. “Should I even wonder, Harri?” “I mean, no. I’m just curious.” “I thought I told you before I’m not interested in a relationship right now.” You said, glaring at him with a smile. “I didn’t ask that, I was just curious. So anyway, are you coming to the pub tonight? I’m dying for you to meet my friend, Tom.” The excitement in his voice was too much to understand, but instead of questioning, you just replied with a yes.

There you were, walking through the doors of the pub at 8pm sharp. Your eyes finally spotted familiar faces who were calling out to you. You followed suit, inching your way to the booth at the back. “Y/N!” They called, urging into hugs. “Hi everyone!” You replied, taking a seat. Tuwaine was already scooting over your favorite drink towards you. “Told you we’d always take care of you! Anyway, we’re celebrating tonight. Tom’s back home!”

Your eyes landed on the curly-haired boy who had a gentle smile playing on his lips. “No need for anything big, I’m just glad to be surrounded by my favorite people.” Tom said. “Nice to meet you finally, Y/N. Glad to finally put a face to the name.” Tom held a hand out, gripping tight to yours as he shook it. Little did you know, Tom was well-aware of what your face looked like. He hadn’t been able to stop scrolling through your social media pages after Harrison had posted a picture of you, him, and Tuwaine on his story during a night out.

———————————

“So who’s this girl you’ve been posting?” Tom said, trying to be as nonchalant as possible during this conversation with his bestfriend. “Y/N, I thought I’d mentioned her to you.” Harrison said through the phone. “I don’t believe you have, are you like…” “No, no, dude, you know I’ve been talking to Grace.” “I know, but I was just worried my best friend had moved on without telling me!” “You know I would. No, she’s just a friend, we met during a project. Grace actually loves her, and so does everyone else - including your brothers. Have they not told you about her?”

Tom tried to think back to his conversations, only briefly hearing mentions of your names when he’d ask what they’d been doing. He couldn’t help but scroll through your pictures, soaking up every aspect of your life, well, only what you displayed. You had a dog, bingo. You seemed to be funny by the way you captioned your pictures, good. You seemed to have fun, love your family, and live a life that perfectly reflected how Harrison had described to him after he had came to the realization that Tom had already began crushing on you just by what he’d started telling him and the way you portrayed yourself.

Tom begged Harrison to be his wingman. Harrison practically scolded him the first few times. “I don’t want you to mess up this friendship.” “She’s not just a fling, Tom.” “Can’t you just be friends first?” Tom would settle for the last comment. “Fine, introduce us.”

————————————

Your conversations with Tom seemed so effortless that night. With too much alcohol in your system, you found yourself completely flustered by how pretty he was with his glazed eyes, rosy cheeks, and the constant giggles escaping his lips.

Though nothing ever happened that night, you found yourself spending more and more time with Tom in the coming weeks. Harrison didn’t mind as his relationship was truly flourishing with Grace. Weeks later, Tom had finally kissed you out of the blue and it changed everything. He was leaving for a few more weeks for filming, and instead of gaining the guts to make it official that night, he waited until he came back. It was the first thing he asked you when you reunited.

But, it wasn’t as simple as that. The logistics, the orchestrating, there was so much planning involved with what felt like should just be simple. Tom had fans, and sometimes they weren’t so nice. Tom wanted to protect you in every way possible. Though it was obvious you’d been hanging with the guys, since some of them had posted you, you had just figured that if you went out in public, you’d all go together and you couldn’t spend too much time just next to Tom. Posts were limited, it was all planned to a T. But you didn’t mind, because Tom made you happy and you knew it was for the best.

For a while, you did long distance. Your relationship had been based off of late night or early morning FaceTime calls, quick calls in between breaks, and short text messages throughout the day. It was hard but worth it. But this last time didn’t last near as long as others.

When word of COVID swept through the news, the world became frantic in all aspects. When everything began going into lockdown, Tom was sent straight back home from filming.

———————————

Laughter erupted between Harry, Tuwaine, and you. Tuwaine had showed you a both a video on TikTok he came across of a girl dancing in the midst of her friends to the song Heartbreak Anniversary. Though her coordination was obviously great, it was the reactions and how aggressive she was doing the dance that made it so funny.

As if on cue, Tom, Harrison, and Sam walked into the kitchen, Harrison mentioning that they couldn’t hear their program over their laughing. That’s when they found themselves gathered around the phone, joining in the laugher.

“I think we should recreate it. I think Y/N should learn the dance and be in the middle. It’ll be too good.” Harry said. “Me?” A nervous laugh escaping your lips. “For sure, we learn dances so fast, you’ll have it down in no time.” Harry was right - over the last few months, you’d formed certain hobbies with each of the boys. You had became just as close with them as Tom was, and one thing you and Harry found yourselves doing often was learning dances in the backyard, most likely disrupting the neighbors from your obnoxious cussing and laughter.

After protesting the dance, the guys had won and you were now practicing the dance. You felt so dumb, you couldn’t help but laugh. You didn’t allow the boys to see it so that when you videod, it would be their fresh reactions. And that’s what it was -

The boys circled around you, ready to endure the dancing. Right before, Tom had pulled you aside and reiterated not focusing that much time on him, though he wanted you to. You agreed, understanding the circumstances considering the world still was unaware of your relationship. To everyone else, you were just some friend that came to hang out every now and then.

So when the music started, you kept that little rule in the back of your mind. You tried to spend enough time with each, trying to make them laugh which definitely worked. You added your own flair to the dance, leaning back towards each of them, causing them to spit out laughter. You still found a moment with Tom, because it’d be too obvious that you were not trying to be obvious if you didn’t (haha).

Afterwards, the guys laughed over your shoulder as they watched their own reactions. “You killed that!” Sam exclaimed.

Hours later, you all sat in the living room, engrossed in your own thing - television, telephone, reading, someone was doing something. That’s when Tuwaine busted out laughing. “Shit, these comments are ruthless!” “Hmm?” You said, not even thinking to go check on the video you’d posted. When you opened up the app, Tom was looking over your shoulder to look for himself.

“Yeah, Harrison and Y/N are def fucking”

“Y/N and Haz 👀👀👀”

“Look at the way Haz looks at her 😍 obvi in love”

The comments continued. You cocked your head, watching back at the video. There was nothing much different between your interactions other than he was laughing the most - but that was just Haz. You shook your head, laughing as everyone but Tom joined it.

“Dang, Y/N, didn’t know we cared so much about each other!” Harrison said, giggling. “Right, just so in love!” You jokingly fell back into the couch, but soon noticed that Tom was barely participating in the jokes. Instead, he was leaning back, barely cracking a smile, even when you tugged his arm. You tried to shake off his reaction, not expecting him to actually be upset.

—————————

“I think I’m going to shower, wanna join?” You pulled out some sweatpants from the drawer that you’d claimed. “Why don’t you go ask Harrison?” You stopped dead in your tracks. “Excuse me?” Tom stayed silent. A nervous laugh escaped your lips, in hopes that his words were only joking but the straight face he was giving, along with no eye contact, made it clear that he was not joking.

“Are you being serious right now?” You asked quietly. You felt yourself beginning to get upset, considering you had never given him a reason to believe that for one, you’d ever cheat, and for two, that you and Harrison had ever had sex. He was well aware of the friendship that you had before Tom came along, and not only was it strictly platonic, but Grace had been in the picture the whole time.

Tom finallt replied with a shrug, which elicited rolling eyes from you. “You’re unbelievable.” You slammed the door to the bedroom, slamming the bathroom door across the hall. It may have been absurd, but in that moment you honestly were shocked. You and Tom had never really argued about something like this before - it just never showed itself as a problem. It wasn’t like you hadn’t been rumored dating each one of the boys before anyway, you didn’t know what was different.

Harrison had obviously heard the slamming of the doors, including the other boys who surrounded him. Sam pushed the television, looking around at the group, who was already exchanging looks. “Nose goes.” Tuwaine said, instantly pinning his finger to his nose, the rest of the boys following. Harrison was the last to reach his nose. “Aw, come on. You know this is probably about me.” Harrison whispered. “Guess you gotta find out.” Harry replied, shrugging.

Harrison slowly made his way to Tom’s room, slowly knocking before opening the door. Tom was laying on the bed on his phone, seeming that he was not phased by the events that seemed to have just occurred. “Tom?” “Hmm?” “What’s going on?” Harrison asked, inching closer to the bed.

Tom laid his phone on his chest with a smirk. “Why don’t you go find out?” “Seriously, Tom? Are we twelve right now?” Harrison huffed back, crossing his arms. When Tom didn’t reply, Harrison felt like tugging his hair out. It wasn’t very often that the two lads argued, but Harrison honestly couldn’t believe that THIS is what the argument was about this time.

Harrison made it clear time and time again before Tom and you had started dating that you two had been platonic from the beginning. Harrison loved you like a sister, but never anything more. Tom was well aware of that - so he didn’t understand why he was lashing out?

“Look, mate. I don’t know why you’re acting like this, but I can guarantee you, that if you keep on, Y/N isn’t going to like it. You have no right to take it out on her. You know she wouldn’t do that to you in a million years, hell, you know I’d never do that to you in a million years. If you want to be mad, be mad at me, though you have no true reason to be. Fans make assumptions all the time. You can’t possibly be upset when you’re the one who continues to vow her as a secret to the world. You orchestrate every plan with her to make sure that it looks like you’re not dating, so yeah, people might get skeptical. I’m sorry that you’re feeling insecure right now, but you have no right to accuse her of anything.” Harrison had no intentions of giving a speech, but he knew that it had to be said. Tom just looked at him, and for the first time, Harrison couldn’t get a read on him.

Harrison made his way out of the room, almost colliding with you as you came out of the bathroom. Harrison gave you a sympathetic smile before going back to the living room. Confused as to what had just happened in Tom’s room, you took a deep breath before opening the door. There was no doubt that you were still upset, but you also were bothered about the fact that this came so suddenly. Or had it? Had he been so skeptical before and you’d just never caught on? How could he not trust you?

As you walked in, Tom laid on his side away from you. You let out a small sigh, placing your dirty clothes in the hamper and walking over to the bed. “Tom?” No answer. “Can we talk?” Though you couldn’t see around him, Tom squeezed his eyes shut at those words. He finally turned over. “Hey.” You said. “Hey.”

You assumed an apology would come after that, but it never did. You tried to be reasonable. “I get it.” “Hm?” “I get it. I’m sorry that you’re feeling like this. I can’t say there haven’t been times I’ve gotten a little jealous or scared or insecure when you’re miles and miles away. But I’m right here. You have nothing to worry about.” “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have acted that way towards you.” “It’s okay, but you have to trust me. We’ve been together over a year now and this conversation has never came up. Why now?”

Tom took a minute to gather his words. He let out a slow shaky breath. “I don’t know how to put it into words. When I’m away, I long to be back home with you. It seems so simple to know that I get to home and you’re here for me. So, now that I’m home for longer than a week, I recognize that you have developed these amazing friendships with people who can be here for you more than me, and sometimes it just feels unreal that I have you - like I don’t deserve you. I just love you so much that the thought of you being with someone else ever hurts me, and I think that’s why the comments got to me so much this time. Y/N, I think I’m ready to tell the world. I’m tired of keeping you a secret. I want to show the world you’re mine, I want to be the one they make those comments about. Ridiculous, huh?” Tom let out a small chuckle and shook his head.

You grabbed his hands, shaking your head. “Babe, if it weren’t for Harrison, we wouldn’t be here. The relationships I’ve grown with everyone is over our shared love of you. We are so grateful that we can be altogether in each other’s presence and enjoy it because we all have a shared love. You’re so important to all of us, and that’s just how it works. I’m ready to tell the world if you are. I’d love nothing more than to finally call you mine publicly… and maybe go on a date outside of our backyard when this pandemic ends.” You say with a grin. He pulls you on top of him, laying a slow kiss on your lips. “You’re so important to me. Let’s show the world how much.”

[hauntedwitch04]

hi lovely !! i'd like to request:

(from marauders era)

💑 -> send me in details about your personality, features, hobbies...and I’ll tell you with which character I ship you (please specify the fandom/s you like)

i'm quite short, i have a round-ish face and big amber eyes and my hair is long, straight and light brown, cut into layers. i love to draw, paint, make little doodles on the corners of my pages while studying or taking notes. i also love reading and dance and listening to music. sports and playing instruments just isn't for me. i'm very very talkative, quite sensitive, outgoing, and love being around and talking to (most 💀) people. people say i give off positive vibes and am warm and friendly. traits i admire in people are being thoughtful and loyal to and defending your close ones. i need my me-time once in a while and love walks. i also love small pieces of jewellery, and going shopping but coming back with practically nothing new because i'm too indecisive. and people buying me gifts or writing me little notes or sending posts saying this reminds me of you, no matter how small it is, just the fact that they thought of me is <333 i like being around people that'll stop me from overthinking and motivate me to have more fun, and they're being more extroverted than me will make me feel safer in the social situation (for some reason?). i am quite a people pleaser and cannot say no to save my life, so i like to be with people who'll be able to speak up for me in case i start blabbering and going off track because i'm trying to refuse in a nice way. hanging out w friends and ideal dates, my ideology is the same. small groups/only one on one, but something wild and fun like an amusement park or drive to a town we don't know. oh aaand my hogwarts house is ravenclaw and i'm a libra

okay that's it, thanks for reading my thesis 😭😭😭

Celebration -  My masterlist I Ask I Join the Taglist I Promts

Author's note: Hi darling! Thank you so much, you gave me a tons of information to work with. Btw, from what you sent me I ship you with REGULUS BLACK!

Premising that I LOVE Regulus, I hope you like my idea.

I think the two of you are meant for each other, because in some way you complement and improve each other.

Regulus is a great listener, and could listen to you for hours.

He loves listening to you talk about your favorite books, never getting tired of seeing that light in your eyes that you see when you talk about something you love.

I picture his books and notebooks filled with your drawings on the edges, so that he remembers you during class.

Every time he sees them he can't help but smile and think back to when he sees you again.

She loves seeing you draw, as well as loving your drawings.

He tried to draw something for you too, but according to him it is nothing compared to yours, even though it was very beautiful.

You love to spend time sitting in his room reading, drawing or doing homework while listening to your favorite songs.

He has also taught you how to dance, just a few steps, but he likes being able to teach you something that since childhood he considered something boring and now he considers beautiful only because of you.

He often plays the piano for you too, dedicating the songs he writes to you, because yes I can imagine a Regulus writing love songs for you.

In addition to the songs, he often leaves you notes scattered in your stuff like books, sweaters or under your pillow, and you can't do anything but melt.

Unlike you he is not a very outgoing person, but being with you he has opened up a lot more to people.

You like to go to Quidditch games, and you talk about them a lot in general.

I think Regulus is the kind of guy who gives you an avalanche of gifts. His favorites are jewelry, especially necklaces. He even gave you a necklace with your initials on it, and another with a crest of his family, to show you his love.

It has often happened that you defended him from the attacks of some Slytherins, from insults thrown at him because of your relationship, or from the Gryffindors, because of his family.

On the contrary, he defended you when some of your housemates attacked you because you were with a Slytherin and especially with a Black, even if they were just jealous. You never saw him so angry, and god he was hot.

Assuming he and Sirius get along, when he and his friends invited you to a Gryffindor party, he had been the one to keep you from freaking out and making you feel safe, before taking you away to a quieter place.

You love going for walks and often get lost in nature and your own conversations.

Regulus is also teaching you how to say no to people, because sometimes it's not always right to say yes to everyone, sometimes we have to think about ourselves too, believe me honey I know.

I love Regulus, I repeat, and after imagining this I can't help but love him more.

Hope you enjoyed sweet anon, have a great day!

[nctinfo]

[TRANS] Johnny & Jaehyun’s interview with W Korea May 2020 issue!

Today was a day where we borrowed the cinematic imagination of the 1996 film <Romeo and Juliet" directed by Baz Luhrmann and created two Romeos. Both of you portrayed the 'Modern Day Romeo' well, how did you think the shooting went? Johnny: It felt like we came out to play. The setting too, it felt just like any small town in America. When I was leaning against the bed during the shoot, I danced excitedly while holding a bunch of grapes (laughs). Romeo, I think, is someone who is honest with his feelings and who wants to achieve love till the end. Thanks to this, regardless of what others might think, I had fun during the shoot. Jaehyun: From the Hawaiian shirts with palm trees to leopard print belts. Above all, the outfits were bold. The point of today was to act like someone who plays around and has always worn this kind of style. There was a scene [in the movie] where Romeo flips over the white blankets and plays around with Juliet, but it wasn't easy [to portray that scene] because of the blood that rushed to my face (laughs).

It’s a shame we don’t have a Juliet today. If you were to summon Juliet right now, what outfit would she appear in? And what do you imagine would be the first thing she says? Johnny: A simple outfit would be nice. For today’s shoot I was wearing a white short sleeved t-shirt and cream coloured jeans, so Juliet would have a similar vibe and would say ‘Are you doing well?’ filled with affection and excitement. Jaehyun: She’d appear in a white t-shirt and blue jeans. With a short ‘I missed you’.

There are two male leads in the movie <Romeo and Juliet>. There is Romeo who is a romanticist with rich emotions but who is hesitant in front of love, and there is Tybalt who is a calm strategist but sometimes emits fiery charms like a bulldozer. Between the two, who do you feel like you're similar to? Johnny: I think I'm similar to Tybalt who wants to be like Romeo. I'm the type of person to carry out something immediately when you decide on it. On the other hand, I want to learn from Romeo's attitude to be faithful and honest with your feelings the moment you fall in love. Jaehyun: I'm the opposite of Johnny. I think I'm Romeo who wants to resemble Tybalt's calm and analytical side. Normally, I'm the type to follow my feelings rather than reasoning, so if I had to choose between the two, it would be Romeo.

If some day your story gets made into a movie, what song would you want to be played in the ending credits? Johnny: On bright sunny days like lately the mood is refreshed and tender. If the movie will be about me in spring, then Mac Miller’s ‘Circles’ would be nice. If I ever get to make a movie in the future, any Coldplay song would be good. Coldplay’s music feels like home, music genres come and go, but in the end when I need stability I always seem to turn to Coldplay. Jaehyun: In my own movie, first of all I don’t think we need a post credit scene (laugh). I’ve always cherished Chet Baker’s ‘I fall in love too easily’. It’s a tasty song that you can listen to on repeat with an empty head, without thinking anything. Chet Baker’s trumpet performance and voice always strangely draw my ears in.

The title song 'Kick It' of your 2nd full album <NCT#127 Neo Zone> that was released in March actively incorporates the identity of cine kids hero, Bruce Lee. Taking over Bruce Lee's baton, is there a movie protagonist who you want to express musically? Johnny: Exactly two people come to mind. First, Brad Pitt from the movie <Fight Club>, I want to try a song with a strong beat with a fighter's unique fiery temperament. It would be great to incorporate the shocking twist of the movie. The other is Will Smith in the movie <The Pursuit of Happiness>. It's a 'life' movie I want to give five stars. No matter what twists and turns, it's a movie that eventually ends with a happy ending. It would be nice to sing [a song] with a message that even though it's hard now, you'll be happy in the end. A slow ballad would suit that, right? Jaehyun: Even though I acted as him today, Romeo would be fun [to express]. It would be a song that shouts love, but it would be perfect if it contains everything from joy, anger, sorrow, and pleasure like in the movie. When I think of James Dean in the movie <Rebel Without a Cause> I imagine music that puts together spicey funky beats based on the old sounds of jazz bands. Recently I'm really into jazz, soul, and R&B, so a band sound is essential.

Even if it's not someone who everyone knows like Bruce Lee, is there someone you two consider to be a hero? Johnny: I don't really express it well normally, but my mom? I'm an only child that was born late, so I always stuck to my mother when I was young. Looking back, I think my mother was a person who sacrificed herself to her family but still valued her happiness. I want to resemble the way she always lives consciously while having fun. It was my mother who taught me how to feel and enjoy every moment. My mom often told me that the experience of 'trying' something is important. For example, I spent my childhood in the United States, and no matter what, we always celebrated the independence day, which is on July 4th, with family and watched the fireworks. On days when the moon was bright and full, we'd be outside watching it. Thanks to this, I think I've grown up as a person with rich emotions. Jaehyun: my grandmother. Despite nearing 80 years old, she had been a dancer until recently and is now retired. She doesn't miss the broadcasts I appear on and watches everything, and after the broadcast ends, she will always send me long KakaoTalk messages with feedback. Because she's a dancer, there are times when she points out my fingertips and neckline but in general, she tells me what kind of mindset I should have when it comes to life. I always get advice from teachers and people around me, but strangely, every word from my grandmother seems to really pierce me. [She tells me] Don't mind others, live enjoying everything you can take on. I still hold [those words] close to me.

It's been quite a while since the first stage you did in the name of NCT 127. What was the driving force behind you during this long time? Johnny: fans, members, family. Looking back, it seems like it was people that led me. Fans are the 'reason' for me to do something. The members are my companions who walk together for this reason, and wouldn't my family be my roots. Having a place to go back to is a completely different story. I think it's family that shows me that I can fall sometimes and that I have somewhere to go back to. Jaehyun: I was able to endure my trainee days purely because I liked music. It's the same now. Of course, our fans who like our music and who come and watch our stages are a great strength too. One difference is that, until now, I relied on the people around me and tried to lean my body on the 'crew', but I seem to have found a driving force within myself recently. I give myself strength by pushing myself or complimenting myself, that's how I find enlightenment within myself. In this sense, as a human, I feel like I'm going through a time of maturity.

If you could go back in time, what would you tell yourself if you could pat yourself on the back right before going up on the stage for the first time? Johnny: ‘Have confidence. Even if your spirits fall, work on everything’. I don’t know how it might have looked on the outside but my state of mind now seems to be very different from then. I’m much more free now. I kept telling myself that I’m nice and confident, and now I think I am able to stand confident like this. I don’t know why I only saw the flaws in the past. Now, rather than trying to make up for my weaknesses, I tend to focus on maximising my strengths instead. Jaehyun: ‘Do what you want, what you think is right and what you like. Of course I know you’ll do fine, but it would be nice to be a bit more daring.’

What are 3 adjectives that describe you? Johnny: Energetic, romantic, selfish. The last word I chose because I think in order to make another person happy, I need to be happy myself and only when I have a sense of security I can care for other people. Jaehyun: I like classic stuff so first of all, classic, continuous because I always try to learn and grow, and firm in terms of trying to remain as stable as possible.

What were you born with, and on the other hand what weren’t you born with that you’re trying to achieve? Johnny: Seems like I was born with curiosity. Like I’ve mentioned before, my mom has influenced me a lot. On the other hand I want to make passion my thing. Sometimes I look at the members when I’m lazing around. Everyone has their ‘one passion’! Jaehyun: Ever since I was little I would always fix the TV at home whenever it broke down. I think I’ve been born with dexterity. I seem to be good at sports, but I really need flexibility (laugh). I also want to break up with my short lived resolve. To speak, I lack persistence a little. When I really like something or if I have a clear reason to do it, my body moves. If there’s neither, I fall into the swamp of one short lived resolve to another. (laugh)

As a listener of <NCTs Night Night>, a show that was hosted by the two of you in the past, I think you were compassionate and were counselors who had shown more empathy than other people of your age. Today, let's write the concerns of you two. What's your biggest concern now after passing April 12th, 2020? Johnny: Although it's a little embarrassing to say it in words, my biggest concern these days is how to be a strength for the fans who we can't meet because of the recent situation. Most importantly, I don't want to be distressed and spend this time more meaningful. Jaehyun: What the heck to do at home! I'm the type to be very active. Nobody can go outside so I'm working hard in trying to find something I can do home alone. I've watched movies, listened to music and cooked, but I can't help but still feel the itch [to do something].

When you watch your web variety show <NCT LIFE>, you two are often seen standing in the kitchen. Is there any dish you want to make for that one precious person in the future? I wonder what the specific recipe is and what the mood of the day will be like. Johnny: First of all, I wanna make breakfast. Omelets are good to eat in the morning. Omelets are well made when you think 'even though it's bad, it's good'! Stir-fry onions and bell peppers until they become sweet, then sprinkle some pepper to finish it. The time would be good at 09:30 am when the sunlight is strong enough to see the dust. That precious one would be sitting in a chair (laughs). The table will be set with cutlery and two cups of coffee. So that you can open the morning in a relaxed and simple manner. Jaehyun: Samgyetang and stir-fried pork, is that too native? (laughs) If I had to choose one, I will pick the stir-fried pork that was also complimented on <NCT LIFE>. Sometimes only red pepper paste or red pepper powder is used for the sauce, but I tend to use both. It would be great if there was a pretty plate with fruit too, it's the perfect dessert.

Even if it’s not a cooking moment, what’s the time, place, thing or person that makes you the most gentle? Johnny: From noon to 2pm. I feel the most peaceful when the sun is shining at that time. I don’t really care about the place. As for a thing, a scented candle that I have received as a gift while filming <NCT LIFE> in Thailand. For people, anyone! Jaehyun: Late night nearing the dawn. I really like watching the night view. I think the Han River could make me the most gentle. Personal things like earphones or speakers. Being together with family would be nice.

As a person and as a musician, what time do you think you’re going through? Johnny: I always feel like I'm at the starting line. Even when I do the same thing, I have to have a new mindset in order to grow. Jaehyun: It’s a slow process for humans but I seem to be slowly becoming more mature. As a musician, when the time comes I’ll be looking from a distance thinking I’m making ‘my own’ thing.

Translation: Alex, Esmee @ FY! NCT (NCTINFO) | Source: W Korea Scans — Do not repost or take out without our permission!

[meangirlsx]

I saw Beetlejuice for the second time recently, and like I shared some things about Mean Girls with you all after I saw it, here are some thoughts and notes and fun facts about Beetlejuice:

Toward the beginning of the show, Beej has a joke where he says he feels invisible and powerless, like a gay republican

It takes people a second, but the audience bursts out into laughter

And then he nods, like he’s saying, “Yep, I said it” and everyone breaks out laughing again

And he does the nod again and gets another break of laughter

And once more, and you can already tell the audience is like in the palm of his hand

He also makes a joke that seems self-deprecating and then deflects it onto an audience member in the front by saying, “This guy knows what I’m talking about!”

He does that a few times throughout the show

And at the end of the show, he makes a joke at the guy one final time and then switches out of his Beetlejuice voice and back into Alex just long enough to say, “Thanks for being here!” to the guy

Dana was on for Lydia and y’all she is so incredible

I feel like with Sophia’s Lydia, you get that the character was always strange and unusual and got more so and darker after her mom died, but at least to me, I get the impression that it wasn’t a far leap for her as a character

Dana’s Lydia has a sweeter, softer, higher voice just by virtue of it being Dana

But she also plays her a little softer and more innocent and more like you really get the feeling that she was a good deal different when her mom was alive

Both are totally valid and fantastic interpretations, so it was fun to see this other version

It also felt a little less shocking then when Lydia thinks Adam’s ultimate dad joke is really funny and says she likes the Maitlands

It really gut punches you that she just wants a healthy, happy, stable family

In Ready Set, Not Yet when Barbara goes, “Look at these jugs!” Beej whips around with wide eyes, realizes she’s talking about actual pottery and not her boobs, makes a disappointed face, and no one processes it until he walks off and then they’re just dying laughing

Then at the end of the song, when Barbara says they’re maybe 80% ready and Adam says 78% instead, she nods like she’s totally in agreement

In Fright of Their Lives, when Adam tells Barbara her first “best primal scream” is brilliant, Beej turns him around to face away from her

Adam looks like he’s trying to be good and make Beej happy by not interacting with Barbara in that moment but as soon as she tries again, it’s like he can’t contain himself from loving and supporting his wife with everything in him

David’s Adam is just really freaking adorable, guys

He really embraces the whole “I’m a huge dork and madly in love with my wife and that pretty much sums me up” personality

Also someone posted on here a while back that they think the severed head that pops out of the trunk looks like Nic Cage and I was pretty close to the stage and I still back this

During Beej’s soliloquy, on the album he doesn’t go all operatic until, “I know that beggars can’t be choosers” but at this performance he did it right away from “I want freedom” and it was so overdramatic it was amazing

Once the Maitlands fight with him and he storms out of the attic, they start getting so angry together, and Adam gets all worked up like he’s going to yell something insulting but instead just yells that Beetlejuice needs therapy and he hopes that he gets it

Like they’re so nice and pure they can’t even be mad without hoping for good to come to the person they’re mad at

In “No Reason” when Delia says, “life coaching, nailing it,” she bops her little hair bun

I’m also fairly certain she tries to dab at some point during the song

And at another point in the song, she does that Fornite dance where you pump your arm and leg on the same side while like hopping?

Tbh a lot of her little quirks are her trying to be cool and relatable and just not fully understanding the current culture or the fact that Lydia is very much not into it

In Say My Name, he shouts, “Fake cartwheel!” and then twirls behind Lydia like he’s pretending to do a cartwheel but wouldn’t land it if he actually tried

Then when he yells “assassinate,” he pulls the top part of his wig back to reveal a brain, and he doesn’t cover it back up until a good moment after Lydia says, “No!”

At the start of Day-O, when Delia calls Charles an “amazing, amazing man,” she straight up starts crying

So now we’re into Act II

Presley comes out for Girl Scout and the entire audience just cheers because who doesn’t love Presley

The first time she turns her back to the audience, you see that her backpack is just O V E R F L O W I N G with Thin Mints

When the music changes for a few seconds after “they had my back if anything went wrong with me,” she’s like freaking out and breathing heavy and trying to calm herself down

And then she jumps RIGHT back into her happy place when she hits “jamboree, soda pop” and everyone in the audience like lost it over that

In the transition between outside and inside the house, Sky says it’s so dark and pulls out her flashlight because she’s always prepared

She holds it beneath her face and says “boo” and then “just kidding, hope I didn’t scare you”

And then something scares her and she starts breathing and counting and Lydia just goes, “You’re fun”

It takes Sky exactly 0 seconds to reply, “I like you, too”

I can’t remember if Dana does this as Sky, too – she probably does

But when Alex sings “clean, white shorts turning brown” Presley spins on the landing of the stairs like she’d been trying to get to a bathroom and just couldn’t make it and wow it’s funny but your heart goes out to her in that moment even though you know it’s not real

Also for anyone who’s been curious or concerned, Sky is totally fine by the time she leaves – she doesn’t die or get hurt or anything

Lydia pays her for some Thin Mints and she leaves, like honestly the girl’s got some steel bravery

Presley and Dana are just so cute onstage together, like you can tell they’re loving it

Later, in “What I Know Now,” Presley is back as the Dead Rider and in a moment where everyone is watching Leslie as everyone has sort of crowded around Lydia, Presley reached out and held onto Dana’s arm for a minute

Then she turned it into her character moving Lydia because the ensemble members move her around in that part of the song

They’re so supportive and proud of each other

Right after Charles proposes to Delia, Lydia comes running in trying to tell him that the house is haunted

So Delia hides under the covers instead of in the bathroom or closet or whatever and takes her vape with her

And Lydia tells her dad to grab everything so they can get out and she pulls the sheet off the bed and sees Delia and after a long pause, Delia says, “Hey” and sooooo much smoke comes out of her mouth and her voice is all deep

Back in “Barbara 2.0,” when Kerry first sings “Say hello to Barbara 2.0,” she leans one leg on a box and flexes her arms down in front of her stomach and it’s adorable

Then when Adam sings, “the old one’s fertilizer,” Barbara just totally giggles

They’re so in love

Kerry and David have a slightly different vibe than Kerry and Rob but they’re already such great scene partners and so sweet together

Toward the end, when they’re all trying to trick Beej and Adam yells for everything to stop because he has something to say to him, the entire audience gets so excited and then so quiet, waiting for him to own Beej

And when he starts by saying that Beej has been harassing him the entire show and pauses at, “And I gotta tell you”, you can tell everyone thinks we’re about to get a comment on sexual harassment

And Adam finishes by saying, “It. Has worked.” and EVERYONE goes insane

And then he’s full-on making out with Beej and Beej is just in AWE and the audience can barely breathe

Barabara tries to do it, too, but she leans in and she just can’t bring herself to do it

During “Creepy Old Guy,” Alex gives Beej the most innocent, hopeful look that makes you almost happy for him and almost forget that all of this is Very, Very Wrong

It looks like Adam is Beej’s best man and Barbara is Lydia’s maid of honor and like Delia is probably like a bridesmaid

They get to the “I do” and you can feel that everyone kind of can’t believe it actually happened and it’s like this creepy, shocked feeling that settles over everyone but then immediately all the tech goes crazy because Beej is becoming alive

As a very briefly alive Beetlejuice, he goes on this total anxiety/emotional spiral from “the world is so beautiful” to “what if I’m never happy again” to “we don’t teach men to process our anger and that’s a sad truth that indicts all of us” to “so maybe, maybe I’ll just try murder”

Tbh the entire show is an impressive showcase for Alex but that moment is a rollercoaster and a mini masterclass in portraying different emotions and making social commentary and maintaining the humor all at the same time

He puts on this ENTIRE persona for the entire show, which is obviously very common for most characters/actors but like this is a whole other level, I think

The way he moves, of course the way he talks and sings, the way his eyes look, literally everything is different and it’s so, so clear that he put SO much work into creating this character

Okay that’s my Alex Brightman stan rant now back to your previously scheduled programming

At the start of his goodbyes, Beej mentions a possible future “vision quest” to find his dad and just goes, “Sequel?” and then does his puppet hand like he did for the Handbook for the Recently Deceased and in “Say My Name” and makes a “squa squa squa” noise like those horns people play from their phones to back up their own joke (I’m so sorry I don’t know a better way to explain it or if there’s a real term for it because y’all it slays the audience)

At the curtain call, everyone in the audience is of course screaming for Dana and the entire cast is just so proud of her and they’re doing everything they can to show it

Alex, especially, just fucking bows to her and claps like he’s in awe of her

And the last note I took down is a tech thing so if you don’t want to know how they do the lifts of Barbara and Lydia, just stop reading here

I didn’t catch it when they lifted Barbara up the wall for the exorcism

But I caught it when they lifted Lydia up the stairs and I’m guessing it’s the same mechanism for both

There’s like this black seat attached to the wall beneath the railing

I only noticed it because I was up close and on the side and looking for it but like you really don’t notice it

So she can like casually straddle this thing and rest herself on it and it will lift her up safely

I’m sure there’s more to it than that to make it totally safe, and also she can bring her legs and feet pretty close together while she’s up in the air so there has to be some explanation for that, too, since that would be difficult if she were sitting and she’s also clearly standing and not sitting

But it’s awesome

And Adam has been hanging out near there with a mop and mop bucket, cleaning up little things onstage, which is totally on-brand for him and you don’t question it for a second

But then when Lydia comes down and steps away from the stairs, Adam just dances right over to the seat, stands in front of it, and knocks it into the bucket with the mop

Again, I was looking for it

They do a really great job covering that kind of stuff

Guys this show and the entire team that puts it on is just so, so incredible

If anyone has any questions about the show that I didn’t address here, feel free to ask

And if I don’t know the answer at first, I’m seeing the show at least one more time and can pay attention to something more specifically to get you an answer

[kamikui]

Onmyoji Movie

HI so I watched the Onmyoji Movie based off of the game last night and . . . . that sure was something!

In all honesty despite the weird path they decided to take, I actually enjoyed the movie. The music and detail in the scenery was amazing, I LOVED the costuming for a lot of the background characters esp in the Demon Realm, and a lot of the easter eggs that were hidden were nice. 

BUT. but. As someone heavily invested in the lore of the game (especially concerning Ibaraki) how they decided to deal with the movie was like. really confusing. It genuinely felt as if NE gave the directors a cast of characters and let them do what they wanted from there w/o any prior knowledge of the game.

(spoilers down below)

Before I really pry into that though, I’ll kinda note some of the characters.

Seimei/Qingming was actually my favorite. I think this is sort of an unpopular opinion right now, but his characterization was so nice even if it sorta leans into the basic drama hero type personality. In the game Seimei is supposed to be you/the player, and not everyone is going to have the same interpretation of him-- and that’s what the movie felt like, a different interpretation. I will say I didn’t really like them making him related to their version of Orochi. I believe the snakes name was Xiangliu? I can’t remember, but I didn’t see the reason in that. 

If anything, keeping him a fox and having a version of Tamamo no Mae popping up to offer advice to help with the situation would’ve been nicer, and that’d keep more of Seimei’s backstory kept in tact-- because asides from him becoming an Onmyoji apprentice at a young age we literally do not know shit about him. And legit I wouldn’t necessarily mind bc it’s a movie, you’re not going to get everyone’s backstory within 2 hrs, but we can’t really get attached to him.

Yao Bikuni/Baini was. Hm. I like her as a character in the movie, but I don’t like where she’s placed as a character in the movie. She’s a Seer? in the game and tbh it should’ve stayed that way, like I honestly can’t see her willingly working for one clan. “But how would she--” In game she is also influenced by Seimei pretty heavily, as in the in game chapters she believed he would be able to kill her. Up until she got manipulated by Orochi, she stuck to his side. With the Stone plot in the movie, if it put him in danger she would be there in order to try and help him, OR, try and pull him to join Orochi if they went that route. And they KINDA tried to hint at it when Seimei “died” with Orochi using her image, but like. come on man. Let Yao be evil for a little bit.

That being said I didn’t like the Master & Shikigami bit with those two, or the implied romance they tried to pull with them. Canonically Seimei legit brushes her off and when shes like “ohhh you’ll kill me right” hes like “lol sure” and thats IT. Literally any form of romance that’s tried at Seimei he brushes it off. he’s not into it he’s an amnesiac.

The “Oh if you become my shikigami you won’t become evil” thing was :/ to me as well because again, canonically, even though Seimei is being taunted he can contain the Kitsune part pretty well even when he wasn’t aware he was kitsune. Like I think the part as a kid was a good bit to add since it’s when he’s first being exposed to Onmyoji type stuff, but like. idk idk I couldn’t vibe with that power dynamic while they were trying to hint romance.

Continuing on with Hiromasa/Yuan Boya and Kagura/Shenle, again considering this is a movie, I’m somewhat content with their characters.

I really liked how energetic this Kagura was, and given they weren’t able to do her actual backstory, I liked the one she was given. Her introduction in the movie was really great too-- and compared to Hiromasa I felt they gave her a little more attention? Which like fine, but not so good for Hiro.

They didn’t even. Discuss his archery skills at any point which was disappointing. The most plot relevance he (and honestly Kagura too) had was finding Seimei while trying to arrest him but that’s it. And yes they showed some of his skill while he was fighting Kamaitachi, but that’s the extent of it. AGAIN i’ll consider the fact this was a movie and they didn’t have enough time to fit EVERYTHING in, but since they gave Yao and Seimei so much attention you would think they’d be able to spare some for the other two protagonists in the game. 

Before I leave those two tho I’m still trying to figure out what the fuck happened in the end. Like did hiromasa get promoted in some form? was he given credit for what happened between the demon realm? Why did he separate from Kagura since they got close during the movie? I guess like bc work duties but still. I have no idea tho like i was sitting there not processing a single thing. Regardless I did like Hiro and Kags acting like siblings despite in this canon them not being related (at least it’s never clarified).

Ok so before I dive into the whole mess that is the Cimu/”Ibaraki” character, stuff on side characters.

While I didn’t like the outfits for Sakura(? Momo? Both of them?) or Chocho, I liked the roles that they held as sort of trainers for the rest of Seimeis shikigami. In fact I liked the whole courtyard ordeal in general. I have my own worldbuilding thing that has a similar theme so seeing it being used canonically was pretty nice. I do wish we could’ve seen more SSRs or even SRs though. Like, why couldn’t Aoandon be hanging out in the courtyard to give gossip to Hiro & Kagura? Yamakaze or Shishio hanging out in the forest, or like. bruh even Jikikaeru as the boss in the Showdown considering he runs that in game. 

I did like the fish man! I really did, but literally everything about him could’ve been Jikikaeru, I don’t think it’s that hard to make a frog man. 

Also as mentioned previously it would’ve been nice to see Tamamo make an appearance considering he makes random ones every now and then. The Mujou Brothers could’ve helped the shikigami when they were escaping Seimeis courtyard, Shiranui could’ve been an entertainer while they were traveling through the demon realm, HAKU??? couldve been one of Seimeis shiki?? literally anyone. They have all these misc characters in the background but barely any of them resemble in game characters.

GOD EVEN KOSODENOTE COULDVE BEEN THERE . . . . at the scene where Kagura was messing with jewelry and clothing . . . Koso couldve been the seller. Aobozu could’ve worked at the shrine . . . . I just. Man.

ANYWAYS . . . pulling from that and going into whatever the hell Cimu is. god.

So according to casting, Cimu is supposed to be Ibaraki. But the thing is. There’s only like. 3-4 Elements about Ibaraki that goes into him. Everything else is Shuten which i honestly find pretty funny?? Take away the homophobic jokes and combine the gay coded character into his love interest. Which I mean that’s better than making them brothers but at what cost.

anyways. Cimu previously being an onmyoji but turning evil -> shuten previously being a monk and turning evil. The design of the hand that Cimu uses as transportation -> SP Shutens design where he sits on two hands. Red hair -> shuten. The horns, eye color (minus scleras), arm getting chopped off, and his ambition to grow stronger are really the only parts of Ibaraki that’s in the character-- and even then you could say Shuten has a similar ambition of growing stronger. It’s just so scuffed. 

ALSO IT DOESN’T MAKE SENSE. literally it doesn’t make sense when you look at the characters.

Why couldn’t they just stick with Kuro Seimei considering the fact that this Ibaraki works with Ootengus and Yuki Onna/The Snow Queen? They could’ve given Seimei a twin brother to work off of this. But like if they really wanted to keep Ibaraki and Shuten, they could’ve made it that Shuten was being manipulated by Orochi and Ibaraki was serving him, because there’s a LOT of shit you could do just with Shuten by himself. Legit no reason to combine the two since they’re BOTH heavily marketed characters. 

Legit like, Shuten being controlled, given Ibaraki’s loyalty to Shuten he would most likely follow him no matter what, and even like. Have a form of Momiji to kind of help out-- probably at a heavy expense of Shuten doing something for her, but still. like i LOVED the snow queen, I loved this interpretation of yuki so I wouldn’t want to get rid of her, but they shouldve went with Seimei 2 instead of “ibaraki”. It’s just so much and it doesn’t make sense. 

Now orochi himself and how that was handled was like. Okay I guess. If anyone was being talked to through their head at the time it should’ve been Yao Bikuni considering she allies with him in canon at one point. but like whatever. I did think the end was neat where Seimei forced him into becoming his shikigami, like I liked that whole process. Otherwise all antagonists were pretty underwhelming.

I also was not fond of the ending where like Seimei just turns away at the broken bridge. Like does this mean the Demon realm is completely cut off now? just fix the bridge. Also does Seimei just fuck off?? I know theres a scene where he’s standing on the roof but. i dont know. 

Regardless the movie was great, I had fun watching it. When ibaraki came in I accidentally paused the movie a couple of times while spamming screenshots. Even tho hes like kinda ugly but that’s ok. There WERE some angles where he was hot as hell but otherwise they did his actor so dirty. The horns were just. God I won’t delve into that bc this post is long as hell BUT. BUT. THE MOVIE WAS GOOD. just not if ure into the lore for the game LMAO.

Ok that’s it for now bye

[luvneedsnosyt]

My Favorite Albums of 2020

Here is my list of my personal top albums of 2020

You can find my separate list for top EPs of 2020 here

My Previous monthly lists from 2020: January, February, March, April, May, June, July, August, September, October, November

My list last year for my top albums of 2019 can be found here.

Honorable Mention:

Aluna - Renaissance Genre: Synth Pop / Dance

Lead singer from AlunaGeorge steps out on her own with this fast paced romp. She brings along many well known producers like Diplo (who she’s signed with as a solo artist), KAYTRANADA, SG Lewis and more.

Proof: Warrior (Feat. SG Lewis) / Body Pump

Big Gigantic - Free Your Mind Genre: Electronic / Dance

The Colorado duo Big Gigantic’s big breakout was their sixth album in 2016’s Brighter Future that really expanded the reach of their high octane music. Four years later we have their follow up in this joyous affair. With their use of horns (one of them is a trained saxophonist) they always have a big band feel that meets the club in their sound that's so infectious.

Proof: Burning Love (Feat. Kidepo) / You’re The One (Feat. Nevve)

Cam - The Otherside Genre: Country / Pop

I’m not typically a big country fan but this country with a little infusion of pop is something I can ride for. Really digging the ways Cam expanded on a typical country vernacular while still staying true to it as well.

Proof: The Otherside / Classic

CloZee - Neon Jungle Genre: Electronic / World Bass

CloZee’s musical landscapes are living breathing entities. Her music is lush and vibrant that seem to flow to and frow with a breeze. Not what most people would attribute to the genre which is why it stands out.

Proof: Winter Is Coming / Heya

dvsn - A Muse In Her Feelings Genre: R&B / Neo-Soul

The third album by Toronto R&B duo dvsn and this is by far their best. A seductive and savory exploration through love, sexuality and heartbreak.

Proof: Dangerous City (Feat. Ty Dolla $ign & Buju Banton) / A Muse

Duke Dumont - Duality // Duality Remixed Genre: Electronic / Dance

This is sort of a greatest hits with some new songs masked as a debut. The fact most of these songs we have heard before and some way back to 2015, knocks this album back a bit on my list. That being said Duke Dumont is one of the best at funk infused dance music and this album bangs!

Proof: Ocean Drive / Together (w/ How To Dress Well) // Ocean Drive (Purple Disco Machine Remix) / Together (Luttrell Remix) w/ How To Dress Well

Empress Of - I’m Your Empress Of Genre: R&B / Pop

Empress Of’s sophomore album Us was quite an upward trajectory from her already good debut album. On her third record here that momentum is kept going with a little flair. This is her most danceable record yet with some nostalgic synths added to her musical attire that’s an accessory worth attention but not too distracting.

Proof: Bit of Rain / Love Is A Drug

Fakear - Everything Will Grow Again Genre: Electronic / Dance / Tropical House

French DJ Fakear’s eclectic sophomore album is lush and expansive in it’s sound. You feel enveloped in an exotic and kinetic world that you can’t help but get lost in while listening. 

Proof: Sekoia / Rituals (Feat. Luiza Fernandes)

Georgia - Seeking Thrills Genre: Synth Pop

This sophomore album by the english singer is a riot full of pulsating beats and neon lit synth patterns. The singing has Santigold/M.I.A. vibes without being an emulation.

Proof: Never Let You Go / Ray Guns

Halsey - MANIC Genre: Pop / R&B

It’s been a pretty dramatic rise for the singer. She was already a sensation by the time her debut album Badlands came out in 2015. Now she’s one of the sought after features and a pretty big act in music. This third album MANIC is her most consistent, powerful and best. She has perfected how to utilize her raspy voice and how to connect with the listener and evoke strong emotions. 

Proof: you should be sad / Without Me

Illenium - ASCEND (Remixes) Genre: Electronic / Dance

Illenium’s ASCEND was my 3rd favorite record of 2019. As quite a nice gift Illenium dropped off this super sized remix album with at least one remix of each song off the glorious album. 

Proof: Good Things Fall Apart (3LAU Remix) Feat. Jon Bellion / In Your Arms (Alan Walker Remix) Feat. X Ambassadors

Kingdom - Neurofire Genre: Electronic / Neo-Soul / Dance

Even if you don’t know Kingdom off the top of your head you’ve probably heard a Kingdom produced song without knowing. He’s been a behind the scenes go-to producer and runs a label that has such artists as Kalela and Dawn Richards on it. Neurofire is a smooth soulful electronic album that has such an contagious bob to it you can’t help yourself but start dancing.

Proof: High Enough (Feat. Tiara Thomas) / His n Hers (Feat. Semma)

Lady Gaga - Chromatica Genre: Pop / Dance

Despite her immense success, Lady Gaga is not a complacent woman. After readjusting her sound to something more stripped down on 2016’s Joann, Gaga did another about face this time leaning into the EDM world and making an ecstatic dance record. Linking with many big hitter DJs for production work in Tchami, BloodPop, Madeon, Skrillex, Axwelll and others, who create a great vivacious platform for Gaga to strut all over.

Proof: Stupid Love / Replay

Låpsley - Through Water Genre: Indie Pop / Electronic

It’s been four years since British singer Låpsley’s debut album. But it seems that time was well utilized as this is a great leap for the artist. I enjoyed her understated debut but here she was able to incorporate a little more kinetic energy in her recording while keeping the sentimentalism of them really effectively.

Proof: Ligne 3 / Womxn

Lastlings - First Contact Genre: Electronic / Future Bass / Dance

I haven’t heard the early EPs from Australian dou Lastlings so first listening to this album was quite a pleasant surprise. There’s some definite influences from fellow Australian act RÜFÜS DU SOL here. And influences that they utilize nicely.

Proof: Deja Vu / No Time

The Strokes - The New Abnormal Genre: Alternative / Rock

It’s not often an extremely successful rock group after an extended hiatus returns and makes one of their best albums. Working with Rick Ruban the legendary New York group returns after seven years with an album that exerts a high level of confidence and maturity. It doesn’t scream out at you as an album yet the music is incredibly in depth and rewarding.

Proof: Brooklyn Bridge to Chorus / Not The Same Anymore

Sylvan Esso - Free Love Genre: Synth Pop

For their third album the North Carolina based duo took a slightly scaled back sound as the tone is a bit more somber and muted then their past albums. The indie pop is much more dominant over the Electronic aspects of their music. It still however is their enjoyable meshing of the two and there’s still plenty of danceable moments, they are just more interspersed in a more internal faced record. 

Proof: Ferris Wheel / Frequency

Tchami - Year Zero Genre: Electronic / Dance

The French DJ Techami finally drops a debut album and what a blast this is. Year Zero is a joy ride form start to finish with no real filler tracks of straight enjoyable dance records. 

Proof: Ain’t That Kind Of Friend (Feat. Modesty) / Ghosts (Feat. Hana)

Tyler Swift - evermore Genre: Indie Pop / Folk

The second of Taylor’s 2020 albums; made with the National’s Aaron Dessor. This one you can tell is a bit of tracks that didn’t fit the construct of folklore. This has a bit of a “thrown together” feel, which sounds more harsh then how I mean it. With that being said these are still more of probably my favorite iteration we’ve seen of Taylor so I enjoy it immensely. More on folklore below.

Proof: ‘tis the damn season / ivy

We Are The City - RIP Genre: Rock / Alternative

This is the fifth by the Concadian Rock group but the first I have heard by them so I can’t offer insight on how this fits in their past work. But when I heard the guitars and crashing drums come in on the thunderous opener “Killer B-Side Music” I was instantly hooked. This is a fun and emotionally gripping journey through this groups organized chaos. 

Proof: Killer B-Side Music / Saint Peter

The List:

Last One Out: The Naked And Famous - Recover Genre: Synth Pop

New Zealand band The Naked and Famous return with their fourth album full of their patented form of catchy synth pop meant to excite and evoke. The songs are take their shoes off and make themselves at home in your head demanding a sing along.

Proof: Sunseeker / Bury Us / Come As You Are / Coming Back To Me

35. Grimes - Miss Anthropocane Genre: Synth Pop / Electronic

It’s been an odd couple years for the singer/producer Grimes as her high profile relationship has pushed her further into the celebrity life then she has been in the past. Despite the chios she still is an extremely talented musician and this stellar album shows that off nicely. I feel Grimes was a bit too harsh on her previous album, 2015 Art Angels, which had a more general pop sensibility. I genuinely loved Art Angels. With her own frustration Grimes went back closer to her early sound with this follow up. Her ability to bend song structures to her will creates an ever changing and unpredictable landscape for the lister to get lost in.

Proof: So Heavy I Fell Through The Earth / Violence (w/ i_o) / Idoru / We Appreciate Power (Feat. HANA)

34. Taylor Swift - folklore Genre: Indie Pop / folk

Taylor had a busy quarantine using this time to link up with Aaron Dessner of the National and Jack Antonoff to make not one but two albums. The first one here a surprise drop in July hit everyone in all the feels. The stripped down sound felt right at home with the isolation a lot of us were feeling during this pandemic. Taylor’s writing is as piercing as ever over these mellow and somber tracks.

Proof: cardigan / my tears ricochet / seven / august

33. Dua Lipa - Future Nostalgia // Club Future Nostalgia Genre: Synth Pop / Dance

English singer Dua Lipa confidently busts out the sequence for this dazzling sophomore album. As the title suggests this is a futuristic blast from the past with influences from the 70’s disco and 80’s synth pop in a modern ensemble. The songs are all catchy af and danceable as hell but you still never lose sight of the true centerpiece and that is Dua’s authoritative voice. She has the perfect vocal conflexion for electronic songs as it's commending enough to not get lost in the kinetic ensembles but also light and malleable enough to ride the harmonies with grace. As can be seen by her getting all the GRAMMY nominations the world is taking note of this pop force.

Proof: Don’t Start Now / Cool / Physical / Break My Heart // Hallucinate (Paul Woolford Remix) / Don’t Start Now (KAYTRANADA Remix) / Physical (Mark Ronson Remix) Feat. Gwen Stefani / Cool (Jayda G Remix)

32. KAYTRANADA - BUBBA Genre: Electronic / R&B / Dance

Montreal based producer KAYTRANADA picks up right where his 2016 debut left off with this smooth and sensual vibe fest of an album. The album doesn’t ever go for anything too high or too low. The tempo is pretty consistent in a controlled bob that can get a crowd up and dancing or can be played in the background for a chill environment.

Proof: Go DJ (Feat. SiR) / 10% (Feat. Kali Uchis) / Need It (Feat. Masego) / The Worst In Me (Feat. Tinashe)

31. The Killers - Imploding The Mirage Genre: Rock / Alternative

With over 16 years in the game, The Vegas rock group and one of my personal all time favorite bands has not lost a step. Imploding The Mirage follows their 2017 Wonderful Wonderful as a return to their early form. This new album is a triumphant and boisterous affair exuding with confidence that only a group together this long can employ.

Proof: Dying Breed / Caution / Running Towards a Place / When the Dreams Run Dry

30. Blanche - EMPIRE Genre: Indie Pop

21 year old Belgium singer Blanche’s raspy commanding voice is one beyond her years. It’s very delicate while demanding your attention. On this debut she utilizes the effective voice nicely by surrounding it with a cinematic harmonious backing. 

Proof: Empire / Till We Collide / Fences / How Does That Sound

29. BRONSON (Golden Features & ODESZA) - BRONSON Genre: Electronic / Dance

Connecting from an admiration of each other’s music, Seattle electronic duo ODESZA and Australian DJ Golden Feature team up for this new trio that merges their sounds while give us something completely new from the artists. Where ODESZA’s sound is more light and airy this collaboration is darker and dense. The weight of each track give them a powerful emotive feel as they blend into each other while the album progresses. 

Proof: HEART ATTACK (Feat. lau.ra) / KNOW ME (Feat. Gallant) / TENSE / DAWN (Feat. Totally Enormous Extinct Dinosaurs)

28. GASHI - 1984 Genre: alt-R&B / Synth Pop

It’s been a long road GASHI, growing up as an Albianian refugee before his family settled in Brooklyn as a child. GASHI struggled initially to learn English and eventually used music as his tool to learning the language. Dropping out of college to focus on music GASHI dropped a mixtape and couple albums that were pretty below the radar. It seems in 2018 connecting with DJ Snake was a catalyst for the singer. His last two albums have a focused synth heavy vernacular with an 80’s nostalgia. There’s a slightly haunting tension in his music that brings a level of wonder and mystery. The slight reverb makes the tracks feel as though they are recorded in a dark void with the jabbing synths as youre neon guilding light. 

Proof: Mama (Feat. Sting) / Paranoid / Never Give Up On Me / Mr. Ferrari

27. Caroline Rose - Superstar Genre: Indie Rock / Alternative

Starting as a more folk/country based artist, the NY based artist took a dramatic shift in her music to a more indie rock style with some hints of synth pop and the move has proved rather fruitful. On her fourth album Caroline has hit a rather confident sweet spot. Superstar is filled with tunes you can jam out to with reckless abandon. 

Proof: Nothing’s Impossible / Got to Go My Own Way / Someone New / Back at the Beginning

26. Jason Ross - 1000 Faces // 1000 Faces Remixes Genre: Electronic / Dance

Seven Lion’s understudy takes an emphatic step out of the shadows and it’s quite a big step! 1000 Faces pushes the twin cities DJ in the mix of top electronic DJs. He definitely shows off how he learned the use of dead space from Seven Lions but in his own style for dramatic drops in his ensembles. Suspense is used almost as an instrument leading to crashing moments meant to get you up and moving and your feelings yanked on.

Proof: When the Night Falls (w/ Fiora) / One that Got Away (w/ Dabin & Dylan Matthew) / Known You Before (w/ Seven Lions & Emilie Brandt) / 1000 Faces (w/ Dia Frampton) // Leave Me To Wonder (Just A Gent Remix) w/ Fiora / When The Night Falls (AWAKEND Remix) w/ Fiora / Known You Before (Trivecta Remix) w/ Seven Lions Feat. Emilie Brandt / Shelter (No Mana Remix) Feat. Melanie Fontana

25. HAIM - Women in Music Pt. III Genre: Pop

The HAIM sisters are slowily chipping away at their sound adding in more elements, while also chipping away at the patriarchy. Women in Music Pt. III is a further expanding the trios musical pallet with more R&B and Jazz sensibilities then we’ve heard from them before. Their strength is still their strong consistency. At 16 tracks this album still feels like there isn’t a wasted moment, every song is solid in its own right and contributes to the overall arc of the project. My sneaky favorite track is the smooth “3 AM” that sounds like it could be on a Janet Jackson album with it’s soulful and catchy as hell chorus and bouncy beat that get your head bopping and shoulders rolling. 

Proof: Gasoline / Don’t Wanna / 3 AM / Now I’m In It

24. PVRIS - Use Me Genre: Rock / Scythe Pop / Alternative

Rock music as a genre has been a bit pushed back from the limelight the last few years. However that doesn’t mean the genre is dying and great acts like PVRIS prove that. Following up their thrilling 2017 album All We Know of Heaven, All We Need of Hell we see the rock group experimenting more with their sound. The 2019 EP gave us a teaser of the ways Synth Pop will infiltrate their vernacular more on this record. That doesn’t mean they are “going straight pop” here as this is still a rambunctious form of rock music. Just more blurry around the edges. PVRIS and lead singer Lynn are able to evoke such strong emotions in ever track, it’s impossible to not feel and sympathize with what her emotion is for that track while listening. 

Proof: Death of Me / Hallucinations / Old Wounds / Wish You Well

23. Disclosure - ENERGY Genre: Electronic / Dance

After a decade in the genre and more then a 5 year break from their exhilarating sophomore album Caracal (one of my personal favorite records of 2015), the London DJ duo return with this double album stuffed with euphoria inducing dance tunes. The name of the album is the consistent throughline, every track is bursting with vibes and energy. There’s also an obvious globalization with their already inclusive music with many songs featuring singers in other languages and using themes from that culture in the beat making. It’s quite a thrilling journey that keeps you guessing song to song what will come up next.

Proof: Lavender (w/ Channel Tres) / Douha (Mali Mali) w/ Fatoumata Diawara / Tondo (w/ Eko Roosevelt) / Know Your Worth (w/ Khalid)

22. Deante’ Hitchcock - BETTER Genre: Hip Hop

What an impressive debut from the 27 year old Atlanta rapper. I wasn’t up on Deante’ until this album came out so I don’t have knowledge of his rise but this was a great introduction to him. You can really see the merging of older Atlanta influences from Goodie Mob, Outkast and Ludacris with new hip hop from J. Cole, Kendrick Lamar and Wale in his sound. Hip Hop is in a funky moment right now as there’s a bit of a struggle on what the dominant sound and style will be. This is a necessary struggle for such a diverse and malleable form of music. For me this is my favorite form of the genre and seeing new artists like Deante’ and JID come in with such vigor let’s me know it’s not going to die off. 

Proof: I Remember / I Got Money Now (Feat. JID) / Circles / Angels

21. Alina Baraz - It Was Divine Genre: R&B / Soul

The soothing and sultry vocals of singer Alina Baraz have been some of my favorites since she slid on the scene as the vocalist on Urban Flora EP with producer Galimatias in 2015. Her soft and understated Soul music flows and sways in your head like a mellow gust of wind picking you up and carrying you to a better place. Starting from her previous project, Alina’s partnership with Khalid has quickly become one of my favorite pairings, that I hope they continue. 

Proof: Morocco (Feat. 6LACK) / Endlessly / Off The Grid (Feat. Khalid) / More Than Enough

20. Harry Styles - Fine Line Genre: Alternative / Indie Pop

On the first round of albums from the One Direction boys I will admit I was more drawn to ZAYN’s alt-R&B sound. But even with that I still enjoyed and could tell Harry was doring much more musically on his 70’s rock influenced self titled solo debut. It only took him two tries to perfect his sound on this brilliant follow up. On Harry Styles I felt Harry was emulating his influences a bit too much but here he’s perfect keeping that same nostalgic vernacular while modernizing the sound. The 26 year old brit boasts a level of confidence here that is pretty engraved in the music. The R&B banger :Adore You” was my favorite song on the album on the first few listens but eventually the emotionally gripping closer “Fine Line” caught up with me for all the feels.

Proof: Watermelon Sugar / Adore You / Lights Up / Fine Line

19. Sufjan Stevens - The Ascension Genre: Synth Pop

Sufjan is an artist that likes to bounce around in styles project to project and this might be his most dramatic bounce as he takes on a more electronic palette then his normally acoustical vernacular. It still is a Sufjan album and very internal and subdued in vibe, but with a more expansive musical landscape that makes his normally intimate and crouched music a bit more of an expansive and sprawling affair. The moments of emotional outburst are mostly through the synths and drums rather than Steven’s words and lead to the tracks all individually wound tight with tension and then carefully crafted moments of erupting release. 

Proof: Video Games / Ativan / Sugar / America

18. Krewella - zer0 Genre: Electronic / Synth Pop / Dance

Good things come to those who wait and we had to wait quite a while for the sophomore album from the sister duo of Krewella. zer0 is a burst of danceable pop tunes stuffed with numerous outside influences on the sisters. There’s some general pop influences from artists like Christina Agulaera, there’s electronic backings with notes taken from contemporaries like Alison Wonderland and there’s a definite spine of their Pakistani heritage audibly visible as well. This is quite a confident and exhilarating cannon shot of an album by the duo I feel has been a bit criminally overlooked.

Proof: Good On You (Feat. Nucleya) / Anxiety (Feat. Arrested Youth) / Ghost / Greenlights

17. Jack Garratt - Love, Death & Dancing Genre: R&B / Pop / Electronic

British singer Jack Garratt returns with his bursting soulful vocals over a unpredictably windy electronic pallet. Every track by Jack Garratt takes the listener on quite a picturesque journey with dramatic shifts in tone and pace. In much less deserving hands this can be a recipe for a disastrously chaotic listen but as mentioned before Jack’s smooth vocal delivery is an effective juxtaposition to the kinetic melodies. You never know what the next turn is but whenever you feel lost, Jack extends his voice as a helping hand to reel you back in. Eventually you just know you’re along for a ride and to buckle up and enjoy.

Proof: Time / Return Them To The One / Better / Circles

16. Charli XCX - how i’m feeling now Genre: Synth Pop / Dance

Only 8 months after her third album Charli returns with possibly her most refined project of her career. Made during the first month of the stay at home order from the pandemic, how i’m feeling now is an album about isolation and loneliness. Equipped with her standard unique form of deconstructionist pop and electronic melding with a dash of 0 fucks given, the rushed nature is sort of a vernacular the tracks wear proudly on their sleeves. There’s a stripping of some of the plasticity making the raw emotions of the tracks stand out.

Proof: forever / enemy / i finally understand / anthems

15. Louis The Child - Here For Now Genre: Electronic / Synth Pop / Dance

After a couple EP’s and a speedy rise, the Chicago based Electronic duo Louis The Child release their debut full length album and flex a bit more diversity then we’ve previously seen from them. WIth a sound a bit more geared to expand their audience the group dables more in R&B, Hip Hop and pop then in their more electronic focused EP’s. This expansion is not a dilution at all though. Their unique melding of grooves in unorthodox way is on full display across this joyous album.

Proof: Nobody Like You (w/ Vera Blue) / Don’t Mind / Free (w/ Drew Love) / Fade Away

14. Jessie Ware - What’s Your Pleasure Genre: Pop / Dance / Soul

Needing a reset, UK’s Jessie Ware took a break from music to focus on her family and other forms of collaboration like her podcast Table Manners. Shortly after the birth of her second child, the itch came back but with a new outlook on life it was a different itch. Jessie has been one of the great sad song writers of the last 10 years, on What’s Your Pleasure? Jessie wanted to focus more on the positive love she has in her life and how she just wants to joyously dance in celebration of it. Using Disco as her muse Jessie makes a modern discoteca equipped the listener with alacrity and positivity while promoting they get up and get down. The timing of such an album was quite intuitive and brilliant by the singer. She started recording the album in 2019 but by the time it was ready to release was in the middle of a pandemic. Perfect timing for such a jubilant album.

Proof: Spotlight / Save A Kiss / Adore You / Mirage (Don’t Stop)

13. Buscabulla - Regresa Genre: Latin / Pop / Dance

When Latin synth pop duo Buscabulla returned home they did to a post-hurricane Maria Puerto Rico. After years in New York they were returning to a place they love but that was forced to change dramatically. The married couple came equipped with a new record deal and new found personal stability, but chose to surround themselves in the instability their friends and family were forced to live with after the natural disaster. Despite the chaos their music evokes hope, and joy. My limited and very broken knowledge of Spanish doesn’t give me much of an insight on the song meanings but the vibe of this whole album just gets me up off my butt and moving my feet and hips. The latin based rhythms with an Electronic pop influence makes this project quite an infectious and joyous romp.

Proof: Vàmono / El Aprieto / Mío / NTE

12. Purity Ring - WOMB Genre: Synth Pop

The third album from Canadian duo is a bit of a return to their darker and more brooding sound of their debut from the glossier and brighter sophomore album. Some of these descriptors may sound like a negative but trust me it is not. Now I seem to be in a minority that enjoyed the more electronic and pop focused sophomore album a bit more than their debut but it was still their debut that drew me in to them so this return is not met with any dismay from me. Always fascinated with the human body, WOMB is a coming of age album focusing on the weird things our body begins doing as we mature and how that affects us emotionally. It took them five years for this third album from another eternity but sometimes maturation just takes some time. 

Proof: pink lightning / i like the devil / vehemence / stardew

11. Run The Jewels - RTJ4 Genre: Hip Hop

The first track is quite an exhilarating indication that even though this is the fourth record from the duo Run The Jewels, they haven’t lost any of their vigor. Dropped early during the protests going on around the country for police violence, RTJ had impeccable timing for their best project to date. All RTJ albums are quite a whirlwind and this is no exception. Both artists have been in the industry for over 20 years, but their collaboration has brought them both to new heights of notoriety for each of them. With this new stature nothing has changed in their music though, they still want to provide you music to party to and music to revolt to.

Proof: yankee and the brave (ep. 4) / JU$T (Feat. Pharrell WIlliams & Zach de la Rocha) / the ground below / a few words from the firing squad (radiation)

10. Super Duper - HALLELUJAH! Genre: Electronic / Dance

The full length debut from Nashville producer Super Duper is quite an endorphin shot in the ear. I first found out about Super Duper seeing him open for Petit Biscuit a couple years ago without knowing anything about him. I enjoyed his use of electronic backdrops with reverb and echo to create space within it along with the cleaver voice samples and hard hitting drum patterns to inhabit said space. I immediately found his debut EP and eventually his follow up. When his EP Prelude came out earlier this year there was a noticeable uptick in the pop sensibilities in his sound. Sometimes this can be considered a negative but here it added another form of personality. His earlier albums were all expansive landscapes but the increase in pop singers and vocal samples adds a further human element for the listener to identify with as they explore these powerful backdrops.

Proof: We Had Everything / Quiver (Feat. Lonas) /  Feel Good (Feat. Bre Kennedy) / All On You / Religion (Feat. Bre Kennedy)

9. Joji - Nectar Genre: R&B / Pop

Japanese singer George Miller has come a long way from his jokester YouTube days to his sophomore album here. Beginning his career in entertainment as an online shock humor performer, Joji is known for being responsible for the “Harlem Shake” meme craze years ago. In 2017 Miller decided to focus on a legit music career dropping off his debut EP In Tongues that year. The EP was a good introduction but suffered a bit of consistency. The kinks were ironed out a bit for his debut album, Ballads 1 which had the gut wrenching “Slow Dancing In The Dark”. There still was a bit of consistency issues present though but those are all but fully worked out on this impressive sophomore effort. Creativity was never an issue for Joji’s music but needed to be channeled more in a cohesive direction across a whole project and it seems he is able to find that focus here. “Run” is up there with one of the most beautiful songs to come out this year. It is pretty impressive the growth Joji has made in four years and I can’t wait to see what’s next.

Proof: Daylight (w/ Diplo) / Run / Sanctuary / Afterthought (Feat. BENEE) / Your Man

8. Shallou - Magical Thinking Genre: Electronic / Synth Pop / Future Bass

After a few lovely EP’s over the years, LA producer Shollou dropped off his melodic and ethereal debut full length. Shallou’s form of electronic music is very subdued and modest on the surface yet expansive and encompassing the deeper you venture as a listener. Where the music lacks in flash it does not lack in complexity, emotional depth and infectious melodies. Shollou created worlds of subtlety and sophistication, that double dips as easy listening sounds or music to immerse yourself and get lost in.

Proof: Forget / Mutual Love (w/ Zachary Knowles) / Silhouettes (Feat. Vancouver Sleep Clinic) / Older (w/ Daya) / Good Together (w/ Ashe)

7. The Weeknd - After Hours Genre: alt-R&B / neo-Soul

One of my favorite artists making music today (and one of the inspirations of me making this blog in the first place), The Toronto based singer Abel Tesfaye goes a bit back to his roots while still expanding his musical palette on his fourth full length record here. As the 2018 EP My Dear Melancholy, hinted to us, the neon lighting synth pop of his precious two records are taking more of a back seat for the dark and moody R&B melodies of his first record and mixtapes.The difference is his early mixtapes were a consistent mood but After Hours is a whole experience. Now as a more seasoned artist Abel is able to more effectively mold the atmosphere to his will. And take in previous explorations as well as new ones into his atmospheric sound seamlessly. “Blinding Lights” that would have fit perfectly on Star Boy or “In Your Eyes” equipped with some new jazzy saxophone yet neither standing out in the whole composition of the project show this dexterity off well. The former being possibly the most successful single of 2020.

Proof: Scared To Live / Heartless / Blinding Lights / In Your Eyes / After Hours

6. Jonah Mutono - GERG Genre: alt-R&B / Soul

London based Kenyan singer Jonah drops off a gorgeous debut album here. Jonah, who himself grew up in a very religious family, has been hiding his sexuality and this album addresses how that puts a strain on him and his relationships. GERG is a gripping expose as the singer comes to terms with his own needs and desires and brings to light them for the audience to see and feel. His voice is both commanding and soothing, mostly in a deep somber tone but can get up to some surprising heights when needed. His music sort of sounds like a cross between Kwabs and Frank Ocean. “The Low” which specifically is above loving someone in private from your family is maybe one of the most feels inducing songs of 2020. 

Proof: Shoulders / If You Mean It / The Low / Circulation / South Bank

5. Phantogram - Ceremony Genre: Synth Pop

Despite the chaos in the world that is defining 2020, the return of one of my favorite groups in music is about finding the love that will keep you positive and moving through it. It’s been a bit of a journey for the New York duo with some thrilling highs and heartbreaking woes. After the success of their 2009 debut album Eyelid Dreams. The group really took their time on their sophomore effort knowing this will more be what defines their direction and sound then the debut. After a couple EPs to hold fans over when 2014’s Voices dropped it was a triumphant release that pushed their notoriety in the indie pop world to great heights. The next year was a gifted creative experiment collaboration with Oukast’s Big Boi in the Big Grams EP, but later that year tragedy struck with lead singer Sarah Barthel’s sister committing suicide. Three was released in 2016 written and recorded during the morning of this death which led to a much more emotionally charged offering. For their fourth album they could have kept with the darker vernacular of its predecessor but after going through the healing process from their own heart break, Sarah and Josh wanted to instead offer a record of healing and hope to the world in a time we all need it. That doesn’t mean Ceremony is devoid of the impacting sentiments of before. Ceremony is still as much a personal record as Three, but looks more to the future with a hopeful viewpoint then the past looking record before it. A necessary step for anyone to take towards healing from a trauma and/or tragedy. Nothing shows this off more than the poignantly brilliant “Pedestal”, possibly the most passionate and emotionally intimate record of the group’s career, that never fails to leave me in goosebumps no matter how many times I listen.

Proof: Dear God / Into Happiness / In a Spiral / Pedestal / Let Me Down

4. Childish Gambino - 3.15.20 Genre: Hip Hop / R&B

For possibly his final album as Childish Gambino, Donald Glover left us an interesting crescendo of his musical career. 3.15.20 is a conglomerate of his previous albums wrapped up in a concise and cohesive, yet exploratory and eclectic album. The Boom Bap inspiration of CAMP, the spaced out futuristic wonder of Because The Internet, and the nostalgic and funk driven change up of Awaken My Love! are all represented here. The way the album meaders has been something critiqued of this record, but I find it’s part of it’s creative charm. Time being a theme of the album you feel the way time is a bit aimless as it just progresses, which leads to the moments you remember really sticking through. On your first listen you never know what time has in store for you on the upcoming track. Some may think this is peculiar and too subtle of a final statement, but I think it fits the artists perfectly. Donald can be in your face, but as his career in comedy and Television progressed he found his sweet spot at being subtle and rewarding those that pay attention to the margins.Who knows what is next for Donald’s career (he is halfway to an EGOT), but if this is the end of his musical journey I am very glad to be a witness of it.

Proof: Algorhythm / Time (Feat. Ariana Grande) / 19.10 / 42.26 / 47.48

3. Kacy Hill - Is It Selfish If We Talk About Me Again Genre: R&B / neo-Soul / Synth Pop

It has been quite a journey for the 26 year old singer to this point. After beginning a career in modeling at the age of 16, a venture that she sort of fell into and wasn’t something she was passionate about, Hill also began dabbling in music. While on tour with Kanye West as a backup dancer for the Yeezus Tour, Kanye heard a self released single of hers and immediately signed her to his G.O.O.D. Music label. This is around when she popped on my radar. After a 2015 EP and a 2017 Album, Kacy decided to leave the label which leads us to this self released sophomore album from the singer. It seems the roller coaster of the young singer’s career up to this point has given a clarity for Hill to create her most emotional gripping and cohesive project. Part of the strength of this album was working intimately with Francis and the Lights who is a producer on 6 of the 11 tracks and gives the project it’s common vernacular. Utilizing Francis’ Synth and bass heavy backdrops, Hill allows her sweet falsetto to hit some impassioned locations. There is a sort of yin and yang to her vulnerable lyrics and the darker cavernous production that give each track depth. Kacy is now in full control of her music and we see she is very capable with this role.

Proof: To Someone Else / Much Higher / Porsche / I Believe In You (Feat. Francis and the Lights) / Six

2. Kasbo - The Making of a Paracosm Genre: Electronic / Future Bass

It’s easy to get lost in the lavish and vibrant ecosystems of Swedish producer Kasbo’s immersive music. Kasbo’s debut album Places We Don’t Know was easily one of my favorite and most replayed albums of 2018. For the follow up. Kasbo ups the ante a bit with this lush and cinematic offering; each song is rich with so many layered melodies and bursting with gripping emotion. The coatings of pianos, synths and vocal samples are woven together with an orchestral composition. The tracks all have a form of deep breathes inward and explosive exhilations that lift the listener up in their swirling harmonies. Though the pieces all are vast and expansive they are both introspective and affectionately personal. Kasbo had a very tough time in between his debut and sophomore albums, with an undiagnosable bout of severe hearing loss. Once his hearing returned and he was able to continue where he left off on his music you can hear the sense of leaving it all out there in this project. He doesn’t know if the condition will return so he made sure to make this project one that conveys what he needed to convey; which despite that scary premonition is unbridled hope.

Proof: Play Pretend (Feat. Ourchives) / Blur / Lune (Feat. Vancouver Sleep Clinic) / Staying In Love (Feat. Nea) / Show You

1. Tame Impala - The Slow Rush Genre: Synth-Pop / Electronic

From the opening chopped up and synth-out vocal sample you realize this journey the multi-instrumentalist from Australia is about to take us on is one much different than his previous efforts. It took Kevin Parker 5 years to follow up his mega acclaimed third album Currents. The album pushed him to a new stature selling out large amphitheaters on his own and as a consistent festival headliner. The long wait and meteoric rise proved fruitful for this outwardly exuberant and extroverted yet simultaneously introspective and internal album. The Slow Rush is for anyone that connects with people who while socially at parties or clubs constantly feel hidden to the world. Those who both see the world moving around them at a fast pace yet still feel as if they are moving in slow motion.

Musically, The Slow Rush is a sonic fondue pot of many genres and timelines melted and stirred together. There’s both nostalgia and futuristic aspiration swirled in every track with footsteps in every decade from the 60’s to 2020. Imagine Hall & Oates, Pink Floyd and Daft Punk having a musical orgy while on acid. Despite the sheer vast amount of styles and genres being pressured into this album there is an uncanny level of sophistication by Kevin in this science experiment of an album. The project’s crescendo is the psychedelic thunder cloud of “It Might Be Time”. The track starts out airy, spacious and understated, slowly synth keys start jabbing in, yet still don’t ready you for the bombardment of 808’s, and symbol crashes of  the momentous chorus that hits you right in the gut and gets you on your feet. 

The Slow Rush is both an album you can put on at a party as well as chill alone and vibe out to. On the surface are the euphoric dance indications but a deeper inspection, should one wish to take on, finds the emotional and gripping crosscurrents that are interwoven throughout. If there’s levels of protection from past pain, and uncertainty for the future holding you back, well “it might be time to face it”.

Proof: One More Year / Borderline / Posthumous Forgiveness / Breathe Deeper / On Track / It Might Be Time

Others:

Good: Abir - HEAT, A Boogie wit da Hoodie - Artist 2.0, AceMo - I Want to Believe, AceMoMa - A New Dawn [HOA007], The Aces - Under My Influence, Action Bronson - Only For Dolphins, Active Child - In Another Life, Actress - Larama & Desire, Adrian Younge & Ali Shaheed Muhammad - Jazz Is Dead 001, Adrian Younge, Ali Shaheed Muhammad & Roy Area - JID002, Aesop Rock - Freedom Finger [Music from the Game], Aesop Rock - Spirit World Field Guild, A. G. Cook - Apple, Agnes Obel - Myopia, Alanis Morissette - Such Pretty Forks in the Road, Alaska Reid - Big Bunny, Alec Benjamin - These Two Windows, Alexandra Savior - The Archer, Allan Rayman - Christian, Alicia Keys - ALICIA, Allie X - Cape God, ALMA - Have You Seen Her?, Aloe Blacc - All Love Everything, Aminé - Limbo, Andrianne Lenker - songs, Andy Shauf - The Neon Skyline, Ángela Muñoz & Adrian Younge - Introspection, Angelica Vila - Deception Szn 1, Angel Olsen - Whole New Mess, Anna Burch - If You’re Dreaming, Another Sky - I Slept On The Floor, Ariana Grande - Positions, Armin van Buuren - Lost Tapes, A$AP Ferg - Floor Seats II, Astrid S - Leave It Behind, Atmosphere - Whenever, August Alsina - The Product III: stateofEMERGEncy, The Avalanches - We Will Always Love You, Ava Max - Heaven & Hell, AWOLNATION - Angel Miners & the Lightning Riders Baauer - PLANET’S MAD, Bad Bunny - LAS QUE NO IBAN A SALIR, Bassnector - All Colors, Baths - Pop Music / False B-Sides II, BENEE - Hey u x, Banoffee - Look at Us Now Dad, Beach Bunny - Honeymoon, beabadoobee - Fake It Flowers, Becca Mancari - The Greatest Part, Becca Stevens - Wonderbloom, Benny the Butcher - Burden of Proof, Best Coast - Always Tomorrow, Beyoncé - The Lion King: The Gift (Deluxe Edition), Big Sean - Detroit 2, Bishop Nehru - Nehruvian Tuesdays: Vol, 1, blackbear - everything means nothing, BLACKSTARKIDS - Whatever, Man, Black Thought - Streams of Thought, Vol. 3: Cane and Abel, Blu & Exile - Miles, Blxst - No Love Lost, Bombay Bicycle Club - Everything Else Has Gone Wrong, Bongeziwe Mabandla - iimini, Boniface - Boniface, Botany - End The Summer F(or)ever, boy pablo - Wachito Rico, Brandon - Coming Clean, Brandy - B7, Bree Runway - 2000AND4EVA [Mixtape], Brent Faiyaz - Fuck The World, Bryson Tiller - A N N I V E R S A R Y, Bryson Tiller - T R A P S O U L (Deluxe), Buddy & Kent Jamz - Janktape Vol. 1, Buju Banton - Upside Down 2020, Busta Rhymes - Extinction Level Event 2: The Wrath of God, Burna Boy - Twice As Tall Cam’ron - Purple Haze 2, Cassian - Laps, Caribou - Suddenly, Carly Rae Jepsen - Dedicated Side B, Car Seat Headrest - Making a Door Less Open, Chelsea Cutler - How To Be Human, Chloe x Halle - Ungodly Hour, Circa Waves - Sad Happy, Clap! Clap! - Liquid Portraits, Cleo Sol - Rose in the Dark, clipping. - Visions of Bodies Being Burned, Common - The Beautiful Revolution (Pt. 1), Com Truise - In Decay, Too, Conway the Machine - From King To A GOD, CRi - Juvenile, Cults - Host, Cut Copy - Freeze, Melt D Smoke - Bad Habits, DaBaby - BLAME IT ON BABY, DaBaby - My Brother’s Keeper (Long Live G), Daecolm - Figur£$, Dan Deacon - Mystic Familiar, Dave East - Karma 3 [Mixtape], Declan McKenna - Zeros, Dee-1 & Murs - He’s the Christian, I’m the Rapper, Dehd - Flower of Devotion, Delacey - Black Coffee, Delta Heavy - Only in Dreams (Remixes), Denzel Curry - UNLOCKED [Mixtape], Destroyer - How We Met, Diana Gordon - Wasted Youth, Diplo - Diplo Presents Thomas Wesley Chapter 1: Snake Oil, Diplo - MMXX, Dirty Projectors - 5EPs, dj poolboi - it’s good to hear your voice, DJ Snake - Carte Blanche (Deluxe), Drake - Dark Lane Demo Tapes, DRAMA - Dance Without Me, Dreamville - Revenge of the Dreamers III Echosmith - Lonely Generation, EDEN - no future, Ekali - A World Away, Ela Minus - acts of rebellion, ELIO - u and me, but mostly me, Ella Vos - Turbulence, Ellie Goulding - Brightest Blue, E.M.M.A. - Indigo Dream, Eric Bellinger - Eric B For President: Term 3, Eric Bellinger - Hor D’oeuvres, Ethan Gruska - En Garde, Everything Everything - RE-ANIMATOR, Everything Is Recorded - FRIDAY FOREVER, Example - Some Nights Last For Days Fana Hues - Hues, Felt (Murs & Slug) - Felt 4 U, FINNEAS - Blood Harmony (Deluxe), Fiona Apple - Fetch The Bolt Cutters, The Flaming Lips - American Head, Fleet Foxes - Shore, flora cash - Baby, It’s Okay, Four Tet - Sixteen Oceans, Freddie Gibbs & The Alchemist - Alfredo, Free Nationals - Free Nationals, Future Islands - As Long As You Are, Future Utopia - 12 Questions Gabrielle Aplin - Dear Happy, Galantis - Church, PG-Eazy - Everything’s Strange Here, Gengahr - Sanctuary, Gil Scott-Heron & Makaya McCraven - We’re New Again: A Reimagine by Makaya McCraven, Glass Animals - Dreamland, Good Sad Happy Bad - Shade, Gorillaz - Song Machinem Season One: Strange Timez, GRACEY - The Art Of Closure, grandson - Death Of An Optimist, Gregory Porter - All Rise, GRiZ - Chasing The Golden Hour Pt. 3 [Mixtape], Grouplove - The Healer, GUM - Out In The World, Gus Dapperton - Orca, Guy Sebastian - T.R.U.T.H. Half Waif - The Caretaker, Haiku Hands - Haiku Hands, Hannah Georgas - All That Emotion, HAWA - the ONE, Hayley Williams - Petals for Armor, Henry Hall - Neato, Hinds - The Prettiest Curse, HMLTD - West of Eden, Hudson Mohawke - Airborne Lard, Hudson Mohawke - B.B.H.E., Hudson Mohawke - Poom Gems, Hurts - Faith Icarus - Unfold, Isaia Huron - Libbie J Balvin - Colores, Jacob Latimore - C3, Jacob Latimore - Leo Season, Jack Harlow - Thats What They All Say, Jadakiss - Ignatius, Jade Novah - Stages, Jason Isbell and the 400 Unit - Reunions, Jay Electronica - A Written Testimony, Jean Dawson - Pixel Bath, Jeezy - The Recession 2, Jeff Tweedy - Love Is The King, Jeremy Zucker - love is not dying, Jess Cornelius - Distance, Jessie Reyez - BEFORE LOVE CAME TO KILL US, Jhené Aiko - Chilombo, John Legend - Bigger Love, JoJo - good to know, J Lloyd - Kosmos, Jonah Yano - souvenir, Joyner Lucas - ADHD, JOYRYDE - Brave, Juice WRLD - Legends Never Die, Juicy J - THE HUSTLE CONTINUES, Junglepussy - JP4, Justin Bieber - Changes, Justine Skye - BARE WITH ME (The Album) Kaash Paige - Teenage Forever, Kacy Hill - Just Circling Back Here: Is It Selfish If I Talk About Me Again (Remixes), Kali Uchis - Sin Miedo (del Amor y Otris Demonios)∞, Kamaiyah - Got It Made, Katie Day - Mydata, Katie Gately - Loom, Katy Perry - Smile, K CAMP - Kiss 5, Keaton Henson - Monument, Kehlani - It Was Good Until It Wasn’t, Kevin Morby - Sundowner, Khushi - Strange Seasons, Khruangbin - Mordechai, Kiana Ledé - KIKI, Kid Cudi - Man On The Moon III: The Chosen, Kid Krow - Conan Gray, Kiesza - Crave, Kiiara - lil kiiwi, King Princess - Cheap Queen (Deluxe), Kllo - Maybe We Could, KLOUD - AUTONOMY, K. Michelle - All Monsters Are Human, Knxwledge - 1998, Kodaline - One Day at a Time, Kygo - Golden Hour, KYLE - See You When I am Famous!!!!!!!!!!!!, Kylie Minogue - DISCO Lane 8 - Brightest Lights, LANY - mama’s boy, LA Priest - GENE, La Roux - Supervision, Last Heroes - Finding Light, Laura Marling - Song For Our Daughter, Laura Veirs - My Echo, Lauv - ~how i’m feeling~,  Lecrae - Restoration, Lewis Del Mar - AUGUST, Lianne La Havas - Lianne La Havas, Lil Wayne - Funeral, Little Dragon - New Me, Same Us, Little Mix - Confetti, LL Cool J - Authentic, Logic - No Pressure, Long Beach Dub Allstars - Long Beach Dub Allstars, Lonr. - Land of Nothing Real, Louis Tomlinson - Walls, Loyal Lobos - Everlasting, Lucas & Steve - Letters to Remember, Luh Kel - L.O.V.E., Lucky Daye - Painted (Deluxe Edition), Luke James - to feel love/d Mac Miller - Circles, MAITA - Best Wishes, Major Lazer - Music Is The Weapon, Mala Rodriguez - MALA, Margo Price - That’s How Rumors Get Started, Marsh - Lailonie, Marsh - Lost in You, MAX - Colour Vision, Maya Hawke - Blush, Mayor Hawthorne - Rare Changes, Medasin - RIPPLS, Megan Thee Stallion - Good News, Megan Thee Stallion - Suga, Midwife - Forever, The Midnight - Monsters, Mija - Desert Trash, Miley Cyrus - Plastic Hearts, MisterWives - SUPERBLOOM, Mitch - Better For You, Moaning - Uneasy Laughter, Moses Sumner - græ, The Mountain Goats - Getting Into Knives, Mourning [A] BLKstar - The Cycle, Mura Masa - R.Y.C., mxmtoon - dawn/dusk Nada Surf - Never Not Together, Naeem - Startisha, Nap Eyes - Snapshot of a Beginner, Nappy Roots - 40RTY, Nas - King’s Disease, Nathaniel Rateliff - And It’s Still Alright, The Neighbourhood - Chip Chrome & The Mono-Tones, Neon Trees - I Can Feel You Forgetting, Netsky - Second Nature, NIKI - Moonchild, NNAMDÏ - BRAT, No Mana - Secret Level, Norah Jones - Pick Me Up off the Floor, Nothing - The Great Dismal, Nothing But Thieves - Moral Panic Ohmme - Fantasize Your Ghost, Oh Wonder - No One Else Can Wear The Crown, Okay Kaya - Watch This Liquid Pour Itself, Omar Apollo - Apolonio, Omarion - The Kinection, Omar S - You Want, Open Mike Eagle - Anime, Trauma and Divorce, Orion Sun - Hold Space For Me, The Overcoats - The Fight PARTYNEXTDOOR - PARTYMOBILE, PARTYNEXTDOOR - PARTYPACK, Passenger - Patchwork,  Perfume Genius - Set My Heart on Fire Immediately, Petit Biscuit - Parachute, Pet Shop Boys - Hotspot, Phoebe Bridgers - Punisher, Photay - Waking Hours, Pictish Trail - Thumb World, POLIÇA - When We Stay Alive, Popcaan - FIXTAPE, Poppy - I Disagree, Pop Smoke - Shoot for the Stars Aim for the Moon, Poolside - Low Season, Porches - Ricky Music, Post Animal - Forward Motion Godyssey, The Professionals (Madlib & Oh No) - The Professionals, Princess Nokia - Everything Is Beautiful, Princess Nokia - Everything Sucks, Public Enemy - What You Gonna Do When The Grid Goes Down?, Pure X - Pure X Quinn XCII - A Letter to My Younger Self, Queen Naija - missunderstood RAC - BOY, Ratboys - Printer’s Devil, Real Estate - The Main Thing, REASON - New Beginnings, Recondite - Dwell, Rhys Lewis - Things I Chose to Remember, Rina Sawayama - SAWAYAMA, Riz Ahmed - The Long Goodbye, RJD2 - The Fun Ones, Ro James - MANTIC, Royce da 5’9” - The Allegory, Russ - SHAKE THE SNOW GLOBE, Ryan Beatty - Dreaming of David Sad13 - Haunting Painting, SAINt JHN - While The World Was Burning [Mixtape], Sam Lee - Oh Wow, Sam Smith - Love Goes, San Fermin - The Cormorant I & II, Sasha Sloan - Only Child, SAULT - Untitled (Black Is), SAULT - Untitled (Rise), Savannah Ré - Opia, SAYGRACE - The Defining Moments of SAYGRACE: Girlhood, Fuckboys & Situationlists, Sea Wolf - Through A Dark Wood, Selena Gomez - Rare, Sérgio Mendez - In the Key of Joy, Sevdaliza - Shabrang, S.G. Goodman - Old Time Feeling, Shabazz Palaces - The Don of Diamond Dreams, Shamir - Shamir, Shoffy - Flash, Shopping - All or Nothing, Sleepy Hallow - Sleepy Hallow Presents: Sleepy For President, Slowly Slowly - Race Car Blues, Smashing Pumpkins - CYR, Smino - She Already Decided [Mixtape], Special Interest - The Passion Of, Soccer Mommy - Color Theory, Social Club Misfits - Feared by Hell, Songhoy Blues - Optimisme, Son Little - Aloha, Sorry - 925, Spacey Jane - Sunlight, Spencer Brown - Stream of Consciousness, Steve Aoki - Neon Future IV, Steve Spacek - House, Stormzy - Heavy Is The Head, STRFKR - Future Past Life, Sturgill Simpson - Cuttin’ Grass Vol. 1 (Butcher Shoppe Sessions), Sturgill SImpson - Cuttin’ Grass, Vol. 2 (Cowboy Arms Sessions), Sub Focus & Wilkinson - Portals, $uicideboy$ - Stop Staring at the Shadows, Surfaces - Horizons, Sweaton Klank - Good Days, Sweet Whirl - How Much Works, Swing Ting - 100 Dances, Symba - Don’t Run From R.A.P. TeaMarr - Before I Spill Myself, Tech N9ne - Enterfear, Tennis - Swimmer, Teno Afrika - Amapiano Selections, Terrace Martin, Robert Glasper, 9th Wonder & Kamasi Washington - Dinner Party, Terrace Martin, Robert Glasper, 9th Wonder & Kamasi Washington - Dinner Party: Dessert, Teyana Taylor - The Album, T.I. - The L.I.B.R.A., Tiana Major9 - Back At Sixes And Sevens, Tiësto - The London Sessions, Tink - Hopeless Romantic, Thao & The Get Down Stay Down - Temple, The-Dream - SXTPA, Theophilus London - Bebay, THEY. - The Amanda Tape, Thundercat - It Is What It Is, Thunder Jackson - Thunder Jackson, Tkay Maidza - Last Year Was Weird, Vol. 2, TOKiMONSTA - Oasis Nocturno, Tom Misch & Yussef Dayes - What Kinda Music,Toni Braxton - Spell My Name, TOPS - I Feel Alive, TORRES - Silver Tongue, Tory Lanez - The New Toronto 3, Trey Songz - Back Home, T.R.U. & 2 Chainz - No Face No Chase, Two Feet - Pink, Tycho - Simulcast, Ty Dolla $ign - Featuring Ty Dolla $ign Various Artists - Bad Boys For Life Soundtrack, Various Artists - Birds is Pray: The Album, Various Artists - Ophelia Presents: Advent Volume 1, Various Artists - Ophelia Presents: Advent Volume 2, Various Artists - Promising Young Woman (Original Motion Picture Soundtrack), Various Artists - REPRISE: A Roc Nation Album, Various Artists - Sable Valley Summer Vol. 1, Various Artists - The Turning (Original Motion Picture Soundtrack), Varsity - Fine Forever, Vic Mensa - V TAPE, Victoria Monét - JAGUAR, Vistas - Everything Changes in the End, Vundabar - Either Light, Vybz Kartel - To Tanesha Washed Out - Purple Noon, Waxahatchee - Saint Cloud, Whitney - Candid, William Black - Pages (The Remixes), WizKid - Made In Lagos, Wiz Khalifa - The Saga of Wiz Khalifa, Wolf Parade - Thin Mind Xavier Omär - if You Feel Yaeji - WHAT WE DREW 우리가 그려왔던, Yellow Claw - Never Dies, Yellow Days - A Day in a Yellow Beat, YG - My Life 5Hunnid, Yo Gotti - Untrapped, Youngr - Memories, Yumi Zouma - Truth or Consequences, Yves Tumor - Heaven To a Tortured Mind Zeds Dead - We Are Deadbeats (Vol. 4), Zeds Dead - We Are Deadbeats (Vol. 4 Deluxe) 070 Shake - Modus Vivendi, The 1975 - Notes On A Conditional Form, 2 Chainz - So Help Me God!, 5 Seconds of Summer - CALM

Meh: ARTHUR - Hair of the Dog, The Black Lips - Sing in a World That’s Falling Apart, Bring Me The Horizon - POST HUMAN: SURVIVAL HORROR, Bruno Major - To Let A Good Thing Die, Cuddle Magic - Bath, Don Toliver - Heaven Or Hell, Eminem - Music To Be Murdered By, Foogiano - Gutta Baby, Frances Quinlan - Likewise, French Montana - CB5, Future - High On Life, Future & Lil Uzi Vert - Pluto x Baby Pluto, iann dior - I’m Gone, Ichiko Aoba - Windswept Adan, IDLES - Ultra Mono, Jacob Collier - Djesse, Vol. 3, Jason Mraz - Look For The Good, Jaunt - All In One, Jaye Jayle - Prisyn, Lil Baby - My Turn, Lil Uzi Vert - Eternal Atake, Lil Uzi Vert - LUV vs. The World 2, Machine Gun Kelly - Tickets To My Downfall, Masiwei & Higher Brothers - Prince Charming, MHYSA - Navaeh, Nicolas Jaar - Cenizas, RARE Sound & K Camp - Rare Family, Rich The Kid - BOSS MAN, Rich The Kid & YoungBoy Never Broke Again - Nobody Safe, Rico Nasty - Nightmare Vacation, Social Club Misfits - MOOD // DOOM, WHIPPED CREAM - WHO IS WHIPPED CREAM?

[fmdminheearchive]

hello everyone! finals + anxiety are totally beating my ass right now, but i still want to do some stuff for the event!! so, this post is a plot call!! i’m going to describe what my three kids’ll be up to during the event/some thread ideas, and if you see anything in particular you’d like to snatch up, just let me know via dms or replies! and if you’d like me to come to you, please hit the like button! i know i’ve been slacking on plotting with new people over the last couple of weeks, but i’d love to, so :pleading_face: maybe this event is a good spot to start. also, if you want my d!scord, hmu for it! i find it a little easier to reply on there through my anxiety.

minhee

minhee is so pleased about this whole thing!! she hate hate hates her mother’s stupid christmas and new year events, but this year! she won’t even be in seoul!! suck on that, mom! a little sad that she won’t be with mouse because she got her a really cute cat christmas present stocking ):

dec 25th: concert day! minhee is excited for it. she always loves concerts!! excited to be performing little touch. not much else to say here, but come hang out with her backstage!

dec 26th: minhee needs a roommate so! if your muse is looking for a roommate who probably won’t be spending that much time in the suite, then minhee is your gal! 

her randomized drawn card was yellow!! dance machine minhee is in her element! genuinely just there to enjoy herself and do some dancing! flash mobs are meant to be fun, right?

during the afternoon, she’ll probably hit up the italian restaurant, and then head off for a spa day, to be finished off soaking in a hot tub!! someone please join her <3 

holiday ball!! she’s excited to go to an event like this with co-workers and friends instead of her parents and their high society frenemies. someone come drink and decorate cookies with her, it’ll be so fun, i promise!!

dec 27th: she’ll probably spend her free day in the pool and the hot tubs again, and eat at the korean / american bbq grill restaurant! after docking, she’ll definitely be going out to visit taipei! she’ll do some shopping, drop her bags off at her suite, and then head back out to take in some nightlife. if anyone’s muses are interested in partying with minhee during their free night, hmu!

dec 28th: today.... will be minhee’s own personal hell. she drew the red card, which means she’s going to... have ... she’s... going to... have to cook. on top of that, she’ll probably be hungover too. somebody please help her and stick her on like washing up duty or something.

she’ll be back to her regular self by the time they’re backstage at the concert again though, don’t worry!

dec 29th: on the 29th, minhee is gonna treat herself to an all she can eat meal at the sushi restaurant! but otherwise, today she’s just going to be exploring all the different parts of the ship she hasn’t been to yet so there’s nothing there!!

dec 30th: she drew blue, finally! minhee is always down for more spa time. i think she’ll go for the free mani-pedi, so if anyone wants to chat shit with minhee over getting their nails done, now is your chance! 

her free time this evening will be spent... in the bar again, but also in the game room maybe!! she’s shitty at card games and always tries to cheat, so if anyone wants to hang out or tell her off for cheating, come on downnn.

dec 31st: concert will go well, as per usual!!

new year’s party!! minhee will be very drunk ringing in the new year, v excited for the fireworks, and probably in search of someone to kith at midnight. 

jan 1st: luckily, lipstick’s fansign isn’t until the afternoon, and... that’s the first time anyone will see minhee that day. she’ll be sleeping off the results of the previous night for as long as she can get away with. lipstick members, fuse members and gal.actic members, i’m sorry for her crankiness already.

eunah

the christmas season this year is a pretty big deal for eunah, even though she’ll be spending it like this. it marks the one year anniversary of her starting to get help for her eating disorder, so she’ll probably be in a kind of funny mood as she thinks back on the year and how far she’s come.

dec 25th: excited for the concert, especially since 7rophy’s set is over pretty early in the show. she’s hoping to just relax backstage for the rest of the show.

dec 26th: eunah’s going to room with lux because... why wouldn’t she. her having a roommate doesn’t really matter too much though because she’ll just sleep, wake up, leave for the day, repeat. she won’t be spending any time in the room anyways.

she drew red for her card for the 26th!! eunah actually likes decorating, so she’ll probably be enjoying herself well enough. unfortunately she’s tiny so if anyone tall would please help her reach some stuff, that would be much appreciated.

she probably won’t spend the whole time at the holiday ball!! she’ll mingle around for a couple of hours and then dip out to rack up charges on her bill as she sets about calling her family back home. 

dec 27th: i think eunah’s going to spend the 27th curled up in the library for the most part!! she’ll probably duck out to go for sushi if anyone wants to join her, but mostly she’s just going to relax, read, and maybe work on some lyrics.

she’ll probably head out to taipei during the evening though to do some light shopping, but that’s about it there! (unless anyone wants to drag her along to anything.) 

dec 28th: on the 28th, eunah is very happy that she hardly bought anything the prior evening, because she drew the blue card! she does really love shopping, so someone come with eunah for a treat yourself moment! 

same as the previous concert, she’ll get 7rophy’s set out of the way and spend the rest of the time relaxing.

dec 29th: eunah will be spending the 29th moving between the library, the games room, the observation lounge, and, of course, the sushi restaurant. just a chill day!! maybe she’ll go to the spa for a massage, if anyone would like to join her. she’s always apprehensive going for one, but they help her a lot. 

dec 30th: eunah drew red, so that means she’ll be cleaning! she’s surprisingly hardy when it comes to cleaning, so she won’t be shying away from anything. maybe she’ll convince your muse to scrub a bit harder? or... once again... she’ll probably need help reaching some shit. 

dec 31st: you guys know her concert routine by now.

i think!! eunah will actually allow herself to have some fun and get drunk at the new year’s party! she’s a big lightweight, so it won’t take much. does anyone wanna come to the theatre with her?? preferably any other musical kid?? so they can drunkenly sing theatre duets together!!

jan 1st: she’ll put on her best smile for 7rophy’s fan sign, but she’ll probably not be in the most... energetic mood. or whatever eunah’s version of energetic is. she’ll be amicable though, as per usual!! wish, 7rophy or silhouette members please come get a coffee with her while they’re waiting around.

dowoon

dowoon is pretty neutral about the whole thing!! as per usual, he’s just vibing. he doesn’t really care about christmas. can’t help but cringe at some of the spectacle people get up to when it comes to like extreme amounts of lights, so he’s happy enough to be somewhere that at least feels like it has a right to be decorated.

dec 25th: dowoon will put his best foot forward at the concert, like he always does! after charm’s set, you can probably find him facetiming his dog. 

dec 26th: dowoon is rooming with yeonggi because they are bffs!! stan dogi <3 

after that dowoon is headed to the pool, courtesy of the blue card he drew! kinda wishes he drew yellow instead but he likes swimming well enough, and will probably enjoy playing games!! someone come race in the pool w/ him maybe. 

he’s honestly most excited to try all the different restaurants, and will be starting with the french fine dining one because he thinks he’ll like it the least. 

doesn’t really care much about the holiday ball, but a party’s a party, he supposes, so whatever. 

dec 27th: today dowoon is checking out the sushi restaurant!! 

aside from that, he’s just relaxing in his suite LOL

will go out to get something to eat and maybe a couple of drinks in taipei in the evening though, if anyone wants to join him. 

dec 28th: dowoon drew blue again!! he’s not big into shopping for himself (at all), so i think he’s going to use the money to pick out some nice gifts for his parents and his dog, and maybe something small for himself.  

then it’s concert time! dowoon does his dance, he’s great, that’s all there is to know. 

dec 29th: the next restaurant on dowoon’s list is the italian place!! again looking for a food critic partner in crime xoxo

otherwise, dowoon will probably just be vibing in various places around the ship. god, he is so boring. 

dec 30th: dowoon drew yellow, and he’ll be sneaking off to join the red team to clean! he’s a decent actor and is known to work by himself a lot, so i don’t think he’ll be that suspicious. 

last restaurant today!! the korean and american bbq grill. he left it for last because he knew he was guaranteed to enjoy it. 

dec 31st: concert. hit hit hit hit sound.

new year’s party!! omg i am opening the floor to something inch resting if anyone has even read this far........ who wants to kith at midnight? but like not in the fun minhee way, maybe in a kind of emo we drank together for the last couple of hours on the observatory deck way and now we are kissing because it’s the new year. but like also dowoon does not like to Feel so he’ll probably be like “bye” and just fucking leave right after. nice one bro this is why you don’t get any.

jan 1st: dowoon holds his alcohol pretty well, so he’ll be fine for the fan sign, but if any of the members from charm, origin or mars need a pick me up, he doesn’t mind giving them some painkillers or whatever.

[dherzogblog]

songs/20

Happy Holidays Everyone! I started making these yearly playlists in 2001 as an attempt to connect with friends in the wake of 911. It was just before the dawn of ITunes, and way before social media. We were not in touch like we are today. I burned dozens of individual cd’s one at a time, printed up customized jewel case covers and snail mailed them all out. It was an annual month-long labor of love. Over the past few years, streaming music has made it much easier and faster to compile and distribute, and frankly much more fun. I still look forward to putting the playlist and blog together and sharing it with all of you. Particularly this year as it gives me a chance to connect with so many friends I haven’t seen in quite some time. It was a tremendously challenging year for all of us. I was grateful to have had my family here in LA the entire time, we remain healthy and well. The west coast Herzogs know just how lucky we have been. The next year will not be without its own challenges, but I'm hopeful we are able to move past this pandemic and the exhausting events of the past 4. More than that, I look forward to seeing each and every one of you in 2021. Until then, be safe, be well, and be good to one another. Enjoy the music.

ox peace, dh

Los Angeles CA. December 2020

Khruangbin - Time (You And I) Don’t ask me to pronounce the name of this eclectic trio from Texas, but this dubby disco tune had me returning to its chilled out groove often during the last few decidedly “un-chill” months. Dreamy and funky, the groove takes me back to NYC’s early 80′s club scene and Ze Records releases from the likes of Kid Creole and Coati Mundi.

Anderson .Paak- Lockdown Scenes from the front, June 2020

.

Bill Withers (1938-2020)- Use Me The legendary Bill Withers left the playing field at the top of his game in the early 80′s, hardly heard from again. And while he didn't pass from Covid, his healing pop hymn Lean On Me seemed to be everywhere as people found music to help them cope with the challenges of the pandemic. Withers left behind a legendary and enduring group of hit songs that moved easily from soul to folk to pop, not to mention the subtle rolling funk of this one.

Black Pumas- Fire Strong debut from an unlikely Austin duo that garnerd both buzz and grammy nods. The critics are calling it “psychedelic soul”. Not quite sure that nails it, but like the artists coming up next, they’re carving out new ground while drawing inspiration from classic sources.

Gabe Lee- Babylon

Marcus King- Wildflowers and Wine

Charley Crockett- Welcome to Hard Times

Three artists that are literally changing the face of Country and Americana music. Soulful, authentic and diverse, reaching back for inspiration but always looking forward. If you like this sort of stuff they are all worth checking out. Each album is filled with quality songs.

Low Cut Connie_ Private Lives Philly’s Low Cut Connie are back at it with a double album that plays like the soundtrack to a boozy night at your favorite bar. Sweaty, funky and not a little bit messy. If Peter Wolf and Bruce had a kid it would be this blue eyed soul boy. Adam Weiner grew up in the shadow of the Jersey shore and can't help but have a bit of that E Street hustle.

Willie Nile- New York at Night One of New York’s beloved adopted  son’s dropped this love letter right into the jaws of a battered metropolis driven to its knees by the pandemic. It was heartbreaking to listen as the “city that never sleeps” came to a full stop. Somehow I still found myself coming back to it, imagining night’s ahead, when NYC is back on its feet and I’m roaming its streets. Looking for music, a beer, or maybe just a slice, and fueled by the irreplaceable energy and promise of the greatest city on earth.

The Long Ryders- Down to The Well Americana pioneers the Long Ryders reunited last year for a surprisingly solid album. This single sounds like it could have been recorded during their 80′s heyday featuring their trademark Byrds like jangle and harmonies, but the lyrics mark this song as unmistakably 2020.

The Speedways- Kisses Are History UK power pop outfit reach back to the the 60′s on this sweet slice of retro pop perfection.

Billie Joe Armstrong- That Thing You Do

In the early days of the pandemic we had all our kids (+ a significant other) at our house for a few months. It worked out great and we were luckier than most. The biggest issue was keeping enough food, weed and wine around.  There were some great nights with amazing meals, followed by gathering around the TV together. We re-watched The Sopranos, binged Billy On The Street, and revisited some of our favorite movies. One night we went back to a old family favorite, Tom Hanks’ underrated love letter to the one hit wonders of the post Beatles era, That Thing You Do!  I’ve seen the movie several times and it never fails to please. A true feel good film and a perfect Kodak snapshot capturing a simpler time in American pop culture. 

While we watch the unlikely chart topper’s The Oneders  fizzle as fast as they rose to fame, its not really the point. The movie is really an old fashioned love story. Playing like a perfect hit song you can listen to over and over, full of both hooks and heart. I always thought the title track, written by Fountains Of Wayne leader Adam Schlesinger  (who we lost to Covid), brilliantly captured the British Invasion sound every group wanted after The Beatles stormed America. Green Day’s Billie Joe Armstrong must agree. During the pandemic he cut an album’s worth of cool covers including a faithful version of this one.

Gerard Way (W/Judith Hill - Here Comes the End A tale of discovering music in 2020:  Heard this on a Netflix trailer for the series The Umbrella Factory. Turns out it is performed by Gerard Way (My Chemical Romance) who also writes the comic book the series is based on. (got all that?) He’s joined on this searing garage/psych rave up by the talented and versatile Judith Hill doing her best Merry Clayton.

Hinds- Spanish Bombs I’ve been following this Madrid based, all female outfit of punky garage rockers for a few years now. I think they are pretty great. This track, recorded for a Joe Strummer tribute bursts with an unbridled joy the stone faced and politically minded Clash could never muster. I bet Joe would love it though

The Secret Sisters- Hand Over My Heart Have enjoyed their harmonies for some time now. This one gives me vague Wilson Phillips vibes and I don’t really mind. 

Tame Impala- Breathe Deeper I know I’m supposed to like this guy, all the cool kids do, I’ve even seen the band at Coachella. Over the years very little of the music has stuck to me, but the pandemic offered a bit more free time to dig into this funky dubby, chilled out jam, and it stuck with me. Not to mention that 2020 was all about deep breaths.

Ledisi (feat.Corey Henry)- What Kind of Love Is That Ledisi is back with some slinky, sultry R&B and jazzy vocals

Dinner Party- FreezeTag An R&B/Jazz collective featuring Terrace Martin, Robert Glasper, 9th Wonder and Kamasi Washington use sweet soul on heartbreaking and all too familiar tale..

Toots and The Maytals- Time Tough  I’ve written an awful lot about my love for Reggae over the years. Right after Bob Marley kicked the door down for me, Toots showed me around the house. Ska, rock steady, and roots. He was true reggae royalty and sadly we lost him to Covid, just after he released what would be his last album. Check my Toots tribute blog and playlist.

Mungo’s Hi Fi- The Beat Goes SKA! These clever UK roots reggae collective never fail to surprise. This kitschy Sonny & Cher cover managed to make me smile every time I heard it. No mean feat in 2020

Stone Foundation (feat. Durand Jones)- Hold on To Love Frequent collaborators with Paul Weller  (he appears on a track on the album), Stone Foundation are back with another batch of their UK soul revival stylings. This one features Durand Jones ( of Durand Jones & The Indications) on vocals and some great reggae style horns at the top.

The Pretenders- You Can’t Hurt A Fool Can’t resist a good torch song, especially sung by the smokey voiced Chrissie Hynde. Was kind of shocked at how many good songs were on this album.

Shelby Lynne_ Don’t Even Believe in Love Sultry country soul and one of her strongest albums in awhile.

Jaime Wyatt- Neon Cross Outlaw country has a new bad girl. And in case you didn’t think she was serious, she enlisted producer Shooter Jennings (and his mom Jessi Colter on one track) to help make her point. 

Daniel Donato- Justice 25 year old guitar prodigy call his music “cosmic country”.  Ok, now I’m listening. You should be too.

The Jayhawks- This Forgotten Town 30 plus + after their debut this Twin Cities alt country group led by founding member Gary Louris continue to deliver. They find their inner Neil Young on this one.

Lucero- Time To Go Home God I wish I was in a bar right now listening to this, even if I might be crying in my beer.

John Prine (1946 -2020)- Lake Marie We lost so many this year, but this one really stung. A true American songwriting treasure, who was still making great music against all odds right up to his untimely passing. His songs are known for their simplicity, and economy of words. but this one goes against the grain. I’m still not exactly certain what it’s about. Sorrowful and haunting, yet somehow uplifting and redemptive. I heard him perform it live here in Los Angeles a just over a year ago and it has stuck in my head ever since. There is surely a place in heaven for the great John Prine.  He sang about it on his final studio album in 2018. Ironically it became the last song on his last record.

Thanks for making it this far....

***Play the entire songs/20 Spotify playlist HERE!***

[haosvteen]

i said i was going to post my slept on kpop playlist, so here it is!! this is just my favorite boy groups because that’s like...who i listen to lol :) i hope you like it!!

if anyone wants to read my rambling thoughts and favorite lyrics from each song, they’re under the ‘keep reading’ cut :) it took me like two hours to do, so if you wanna take a quick peek at me talking about “vibes” of songs and coming up with dumb little scenarios for the songs, please do :)

p.s. feel free to take a look around my spotify, i have a bunch of dumb playlists lolol

7 Days - NCT Dream: i just love the vibe of this song, it’s one of my faves to just chill and dance in my room to || ‘7 days a week, i’ll always / hover by your side / so just tell me comfortably / whenever you call me, / i can just run to you’

Break Your Rules - The Boyz: idk why but this song reminds me of a montage in a show of a boy falling in love with a girl...basically i just wanna fall in love || ‘my dreams are filled with you all night / now is a chance to make them come true’

Let me hear you say - Seventeen: you know i had to put this in like it’s probably my favorite song from an ode. just the pre-chorus, the chorus, the whole thing...*chef’s kiss*. minghao really shines in this song too (proud of my bby) || ‘i only wish for you yeah / you’re the only one sailing in my heart’

Not Alone - NCT 127: nct is typically known for “noise music”, but i don’t think people really take the time to look into songs like this that are just so pretty and beautiful || ‘even if the black night gets longer / i`m not afraid / embrace my dream more’

Drift Away - Seventeen: this song!! it’s just the sweetest sounding song, like it really is just like honey to me. that’s weird, i know, but it just makes me so happy and reminds me of like walking through a park in spring with flowers on the trees and blowing through the wind || ‘you who’d lean on me during hard times / walking slowly and heavily / and then you became a part of my memories’

Best Friend - NCT Dream: just another cute lil song that’s fun and makes me happy hehe, leave it to the dreamies || ‘you came out a bit late / but I’m used to it / because of you it’s okay yeah’

Playdate - EXO-CBX: omg can someone please just come sweep me off my feet for a casual, fun date in the city...that’s what this song reminds me of ugh i want it so bad!!! || ‘are you ready to be loved? / i'll catch a shooting star / and place it in your hand’

Hello - Seventeen: jun, seokmin, mingyu unit let’s get it!!! i love this song so much, it’s just a great song about having a lil crush and it makes my heart happy..also makes me want someone to have a crush on me like so badly. side note, but can we please talk about mingyu’s part in the bridge?? || ‘You, more than my heart / i’m curious about your heart / you, from now on / i want our days to be each other’s days’

Get Cool - Stray Kids: just a super fun, chill song to listen to maybe while by the pool or on the beach. this song it suuuch a personality song like it’s so fun || ‘let's not worry so much / just for today’

1 to 10 - Day6: this viiiiibes of this song holy sh*t. and like i don’t know anything about music or anything, but the way the notes sound at the end of the chorus?? are so?? perfect?? like they just sound so great to my ears. is this a normal thing? someone lmk || ‘i know you / no one knows you / nobody loves you / more than me baby’

I Do Love U - Monsta X: yet again just another fun song that makes my heart happy, like i love listening to this song on drives with the windows down. another song about a crush, further proving that i want someone to have a crush on me || ‘i like you, i like you / even explaining it with words, it’s lacking / i love you, love you / expressing these words / i do love you’

Love Me Now - NCT 127: nowowowow yeah, i love this song. it’s a super chill song to listen to and very easy to sing along to, so great for drives. i really love haechan’s voice in this song, he has an add-in during the second chorus, i think, that i really like || ‘when I walk the path, your scent is passing by / so I subconsciously looking for you again / the rain is pouring and it takes me back to that time / on that street where I kissed you’

WITH U - Ateez: so basically this song makes me want to have someone who is in love with me and wants to spend time with me. it is just such a romantic song and i can’t want to be with someone who i’m completely in love with and who is completely in love with me and we slow dance in the living room to this song || ‘do you remember? / the promise I made to you that I would never stop / i'm still walking / no matter what difficulties may interrupt me’

Sun&Moon - NCT 127: this was actually one of the first nct songs i heard!! i really love the pre-chorus of this song, like okay get into it!! very romantic song and imo also pretty sexy vibes || ‘even if you’re in a place / where I can’t touch you / i can feel you’

Love Again - Baekhyun: alright this song...does things to me. like...the lyrics i- maybe it’s because baekhyun is my exo bias, but like...boy can get it...immediately. (also if joshua hong is bored and wants to cover this song...that would be appreciated) || ‘say that you love me again / don't leave me alone baby / just stay for the night baby, yeah’

I Wish - Seventeen: okay so i’ve barely seen anyone talking about this song and uh??? what’s up w that??? this is actually probably my third favorite from heng:garae after l&r and mymy. it really just reminds me of walking down a snowy street at night, hand in hand with the love of your life || ‘sometimes I think of you / i cry and I laugh / i'm trying to erase you / with a broken heart’

Trauma - EXO: bruh the very beginning of this song, i think someone is right in my ear. this song gets me hyped, no lie, like i dance to this in my room like at least five times a week and pretend i’m in a club or something. it’s so fun imo (if nct dream is bored, do they wanna cover?) || ‘the wounds come back to life / i try to avoid them but get hurt every time / i know, it can’t just be me’

Save You - GOT7: hm, i can see this playing when y/n rolls up to jackson wang’s pool party. this is just a super chill, fun song i really like!! also can we talk about that pre-chorus || ‘i'll find you / you don't have to call me / always be with you oh’

Fronting - Seventeen: THIS SONG, i listen to jihoon’s bridge every day and i’m not even kidding. this song is such a bop. this is one of the top kpop songs that gets stuck in my head. honestly, please just look up all of the lyrics to this song because it’s actually very iconic imo || ‘i woke up, even in dreams, baby / i still dream of chasing you, what should i do? / there is no other girl like you / seventeen can’t control these feelings’

Betcha - Baekhyun: this was probably my song of the summer in 2019, i listened to it first thing every single time i got into the car to go anywhere. i can’t even describe like?? why i like it so much?? it just makes me feel special, like if you think about the lyrics while listening...perhaps i feel like the only girl in the world...perhaps || ‘it's just the two of us / what you waiting for? / you're my soul / we're gonna be perfect for each other / i believe it, no doubt’

Network Love - Seventeen: int’l line, let’s get it. this is just a super fun song that (once again) i love just jamming out to in my room. also minghao is super impressive in this song imo :,) || ‘before i meet you / i don’t know where / the world is so big’

See You Again - Monsta X: lowkey, don’t clown me but i’ll listen to this song in the car and pretend my “boyfriend” & i just broke up and i’m driving away from his place. why am i so dramatic, guys i am actually the most dramatic individual on earth. nonetheless, this song is fire (wish hyungwon had more lines but you know...life isn’t fair so) || ‘when I finally open my black eyes now / i end up feeling this void / i beg you to grab my hand / so that I can feel happy again’

#Summervibes - GOT7: they did not lie when they called the song summer vibes, but it really is. this song makes me feel like i’m on a romantic vacation with my “boyfriend” (jinyoung wya) and we’re just having fun in love and OOO possibly we’re dancing with each other late at night at a beach club or something and we’re both a lil tipsy and i’m going to stop before i write a whole scenario (psst i know this is japanese, but still it’s a bop so i included it) || ‘the dazzling prism of a diamond ring is shining on you / the waves ripple disorderly / shooting a cinematic scene so it doesn’t disappear / i wanna let it remain in my heart’

Swimming Fool - Seventeen: y’all knew it was going to be on here like it’s me we’re talking about here. do i even need to explain?? like this song made me a better person and change my life, it is so fun and i want to see it live one day however i know that it’ll never happen, but i can dream. this song is one of the best of seventeen’s entire discography and i just love it so much everyone listen to swimming fool and give it love because maybe if we show it enough love, then perf unit will perform it live again pls pls pls. and also let’s take a moment to discuss the lyrics because this song isn’t simply about some buys having a fun time swimming. no, it’s all a ~metaphor~ because like you’re the pool/water and they’re a swimming fool because they are just so entranced by you and in love with you. and i think that’s beautiful. in this essay i will... || ‘because i’ve fallen for you / i’m drowning in you / my movement becomes slower / and i start to lose my breath / i’m a swimming fool’

[ambitionsource]

wait i actually have more weirdly specific questions (if ur up to it) - how do the kids feel about poetry? do they follow any sports? what childhood tv shows were their favs? do they have celebrity crushes? fav coming of age movie? how are they doing in quarantine? what time in history were they obsessed w as a kid? have they ever been to summer camp? what type of candles do they like? what song do they cry to? how do they drink their coffee/tea sorry if u’ve answered already/too many questions

wooooo thank you for your patience iz!! we’re gonna go point by point

poetry?

charlie loves it genuinely and will read it for fun. riley likes it enough but doesn’t go out of her way to read it. farkle loves coming up with insane explanations for the metaphors and is smug about interpreting it in class. zay doesn’t care for it, neither does lucas. asher appreciates it but finds it boring; dylan likes it for the same reason farkle does, only not to look smart but to come up with something completely crackheaded to combat farkle’s interpretation (which he can’t then say isn’t correct, bc its poetry, so all interpretations are valid!). isa doesn’t like it because she doesn’t get the metaphors on paper the same way she can pick them up in film. maya hates it even though multiple people have pointed out that song lyrics are basically poetry -- she will tune you out.

sports?

sports aren’t Big at aaa (aside from dance), but there are remnants here and there. riley follows basketball of course -- even tho as demonstrated in 110, she cannot play it to save herself -- and she tried out for cheer in 9th grade at her old school but was rejected from the squad (another bad mark on a terrible year). farkle prefers wii sports over any actual sport, but will sometimes watch golf with stuart because it’s quality time with his very busy father. charlie did soccer when he was younger before it got phased out by dance and semi keeps up with it. dylan also “played” soccer, but this meant the other little league teammates getting pissed at him bc he never paid attention to the game and was just like “hey! hey, dennis, look at this!” and did like 3 cartwheels across the field. it was a smart move when randall pulled him from the team bc those intense soccer moms were gonna like beat them up fDJSKG. so now dylan is just an unofficial gymnast instead.

isa doesn’t like sports but played them a lot with foster siblings, and even though she sucks she gets very competitive. lucas liked baseball and was good at track in middle school, but he never thought about doing a sport for real because he knew he was going to quincy eventually where his dad is a coach... yeah. no. but he’s great at running fast from the police!

maya hates sports (aside from the art of dance). waste of time, waste of energy. asher has never done a sport nor ever contemplated a sport. the most Sport he’s endured is going with jade to support dave at his swim meets (where nigel also does swim) and suffice to say, asher wasn’t there to look at the swimming.

childhood tv?

dylan to this day is a spongebob squarepants STAN. legend, icon, scholar, best television show ever made, in his opinion. he also was well-versed in pokemon, adventure time, gravity falls, and phineas and ferb. asher and lucas both didn’t watch lots of tv growing up (if at all), so dylan considers it his job to give asher a thorough education in the quality tv he missed as a kid.

maya was all over hannah montana (miley is still a role model to this day for her), and she, zay, and charlie all remember the fever dream that was shake it up. zay especially loved it bc he was (is) obsessed with zendaya. zay and maya both also watched victorious. charlie was sharing a tv with four siblings so he just ended up watching whatever the dominant sister that day wanted to watch. riley was a disney channel girl, and farkle was a pbs scholar (arthur, cyber chase, fetch! with ruff ruff man... classics).

 celebrity crushes?

zay = zendaya (as previously mentioned). charlie = harry styles to a major degree, although his Cover Story would be zendaya if you asked (ironically). maya = britney spears (but in a I Want To Be Her way, major idolization rather than attraction) and technically the same for valerie de la cruz but like... rip to that lmao. isa = loki, yes we know, but sometimes it be that way (altho that does extend a little bit towards tom hiddleston in general). asher = logan lerman, aka the main valid white boy who dresses nice, is polite and soft-spoken, and minds his own business (not to mention he is the Same Type as dylan). dylan = had crushes more on like... personalities so like ash ketchum and percy jackson, and now its irrelevant bc he met asher and became obsessed and its like every other potential crush just flew out the window of his brain. it’s full asher territory in there nowadays.

riley doesn’t have a specific one, she thinks lots of people are Pretty but no one particularly strongly. farkle doesn’t have one because he’s insane and doesn’t have the mental capacity. lucas doesn’t have one because he’s demi and also hates most celebrities as people.

coming-of-age movie?

maya’s is mean girls. farkle’s is ladybird. zay’s is easy a. riley’s is bend it like beckham. isadora’s is eighth grade. charlie’s is dead poet’s society. asher’s is perks of being a wallflower. dylan’s is spiderman: into the spiderverse. lucas doesn’t know movies.

quarantine?

we’ve somewhat discussed this before, but ultimately es and i elected to let aaa remain in a nice, calm universe where they don’t have to endure covid. lucky them. blow a kiss to the ether for us, buds,

fave time in history?

riley is huge on ancient greece and greek mythology. maya loves the theatricality and Drama of the roaring 20s (a baby flapper at heart). zay vibes hard with the 80s. charlie likes the fashion and romanticism and music and art of the 70s (that sort of flowery positivity clashing with the rebelliousness of the movements of the 60s... yeah. that hits something in him). farkle’s is the great depression not only bc he’s an emo but also all the raw and desperate art that came out of it. isadora was a egyptian mythology kid. i know lucas sounds lame (he is), but i don’t think he cares about history -- but if pushed he’d probably say the 90s bc he dresses like he’s straight out of there, everyone was angry rocking, and he wasn’t born. asher likes the victorian era bc of the sheer elegance and Aesthetic to everything. dylan doesn’t have a favorite time period because due to being the subconscious multiverse conduit (i.e. the being that is somewhat connected to every other version of himself) sometimes he wakes up and for a minute he doesn’t even know what year it is 🤪anyway...

summer camp?

charlie has been to many a christian youth summer camp. zay went to the kossal program, but that was basically it. lucas no although he probably wished he could be anywhere else during the summer sometimes including a camp he would hate. riley went for a few years in elementary school. isa has gone to a couple of “foster kid” summer camp bonding things that she despised. farkle went to jewish summer camp One time and was like that was HORRIBLE, never make me spend a whole summer outside AGAIN. asher was more of a Enrichment courses at the rec center during the summer kid than a camper. dylan no because the orlandos couldn’t afford something like that. same for maya.

candles?

riley has a small variety of scented ones that are like... warm scents, like cinnamon and stuff. asher a couple that smell like clean linen but his fear of accidental fires keeps him from ever lighting them. maya has one and it smells like “star power,” a gift from her mom one christmas. isadora can’t have any because many of her foster homes don’t allow them. lucas legally shouldn’t be allowed anything that catches on fire. dylan doesn’t have one but similarly should not be given one. the minki have a whole collection for different things so farkle can just pluck one at any time if he needs one like for a super fancy bath or whatever the fuck rich people do.

mental breakdown song?

charlie’s are “falling” and “from the dining table” by harry styles.

riley’s is “manhattan” by sara bareilles and “rainbow” by kacey musgraves.

zay’s are “imagine” by ariana and “dear life” from the step up soundtrack (post zc breakup).

farkle’s are “vienna” by billy joel and “get it right” from glee.

asher’s is “don’t cry” by ruel.

isa’s is “you are my sunshine” because valerie used to sing it to her a lot when she was really little, so it will always make her a little emotional.

dylan’s (although rare) are “soon you’ll get better” by ts and “make you feel my love” by adele. the second one is because his mom loved adele when she was just starting out bc 19 was released the same year that she passed away so there’s a lot of like subconscious association there even if he doesn’t realize it.

maya doesn’t have one, and lucas also doesn’t have one because in the rare moments he does cry its in his closet in the dark silence alone bc he literally can’t stand the sentience of knowing he’s crying so. sensory blackout.

coffee / tea?

riley will add at least 3 sugars to anything, but she’s ultimately an iced tea gal. lucas drinks it black but only because it never occurred to him to add anything to it and so it’s a big wake up call when he realizes you can drink it and have it NOT be bitter and horrible and demoralizing ( “i thought we were all just suffering for the caffeine fix??” ). isa is a tea girl mostly, although she wishes she could drink black coffee for the aesthetic (and hates that lucas can... it’s like... he didn’t even Earn that aestheticism, smh). asher doesn’t drink caffeine bc it makes him Jittery (and he’s already jittery) so he’s like... the lemonade bitch at coffee shops which kin, and then dylan definitely drinks caffeine but not thru coffee, he’s more likely to get like a hot chocolate.

farkle lives on coffee but he can only drink it from home because they’re rich and can have like fresh ground good imported whatever the heck etc etc so he’s like spoiled about coffee. zay will hit up a starbucks now and then and will order coffee at a diner, but he’s not too attached either way. maya is a fun n free starbucks gal with her frappes and lattes and lots of cream (whipped or otherwise). charlie doesn’t drink coffee or tea bc hes hyper aware of his body and health (he doesn’t really have soda either) and it was frowned upon in his house.

[daggerzine]

Ray Farrell on music and his time at SST, Blast First, Geffen and many more.

Ray Farrell has had a lifetime surrounded by music. First as a fan as a young kid and then eventually working for a series of record labels. He’s obviously a fan first and foremost as you can tell by reading below. It also seemed like he was there at the beginning of some major music scenes happening.

I had met Ray very briefly at one of the A.C. Elks hardcore shows that Ralph Jones put on in Atlantic City in the Summer of 1985 though Ray doesn’t remember it (honestly, a bunch of us were standing in a circle and chatting so I’m not even sure if any proper introductions were done).

Anyway, knowing some of the record labels that Ray had worked for I wanted to hear the whole story. I contacted him and shot him some questions and he was more than happy to elaborate and let us know where he’s been and where he’s going.  Take it away, Ray!

 Where did you grow up?

RF-Jersey City and Parsippany, New Jersey in the 60/70’s. I have two younger brothers.

What did you listen to first…classic rock or stuff earlier than that?

RF-Rock wasn’t classic yet. My earliest memories of music are my parents’ modest collection of 45’s and grandparents’ 78’s. My mom had a handful of singles on Chess and Satellite (pre-Stax)  that she said fell off a truck. We rented our house from a family connected to the mob. The records probably came from them. My mom and her sisters often sang Tin Pan Alley era songs at family gatherings. Harmony was encouraged!

Some records I heard as a toddler stayed with me forever. Lonnie Donegan’s “Does Your Chewing Gum Lose Its Flavor?” is a skiffle classic. Chuck Berry’s “Guitar Boogie” and “Last Night” by the Mar- Keys are still favorites.  I remember being spooked by the overblown production of the “Johnny Cash Sings Hank Williams” e.p. on Sun Records. In the mid 60’s, my mom had top 40 radio on in the house unless my dad was home. When I was in kindergarten, a high school neighbor in our building babysat me for a couple hours after school a few days a week.  Her girlfriends came over regularly. They listened to a lot of doo-wop, which I still love today. The babysitter and her friends taught me how to slow dance, even though I wasn’t nearly a full grown boy. J

My best friend in 7th grade was a Beatles fanatic and we immersed ourselves in decoding clues to the “Paul McCartney Is Dead” gimmick. That was a brilliant scam and a fun short term hobby.  It was a deep dive into The Beatles music as a junior music detective.  By the time I started buying records, The Beatles were on their way out.

I happily lived for many months on only three albums-

CCR’s “Bayou Country”, Iron Butterfly’s “In A Gadda Da Vida” and the Beatles “Sgt. Pepper.” I joined the Columbia Record Club. I got the first twelve albums for one buck. That was a popular scam.  Those first twelve records shaped my taste because they were the only records I had. I didn’t know what to order but I chose very well in retrospect. After that, I bought a lot of records. I didn’t smoke, but many of my friends did. A carton of cigs cost the same as an lp- 5 bucks.

I learned in 7th grade that if I knew the songs that girls liked, we would have something to talk about. Girls loved Tommy James and The Shondells and The Rascals. I still do! I had a wider range in music taste than most of my high school friends. Everyone in my extended circle loved the Stones, Neil Young and the Allman Brothers. In a tighter circle we were into David Bowie, Lou Reed, Sparks, Todd Rundgren etc. I loved Mountain, Led Zep, Hendrix, Budgie, The Kinks, Alice Cooper, Sabbath. At first, The Stooges seemed too deep and serious for me. A little scary because I thought if teenagers felt like this all over the world, I’m doomed.  I bought the album with “Loose” and played that song for weeks before listening to the rest of it. The girl next door had Iggy’ s “Raw Power” album the week it was released. When glam rock was happening in England, there was a weekly NYC radio show that played the Melody Maker Top 30 singles. I was fascinated by T.Rex, Slade, Hawkwind.  I don’t recall if prog rock was a tag yet, I knew that I didn’t like songs that rambled on for more than 7 minutes. There were exceptions of course- some King Crimson, Yes, Mahavishnu. I was impressionable. Radio station WBAI hosted “Free Music Store” concerts with local acts. One show was a keyboard  group  called Mother Mallard that had banks of synthesizers on stage. They were similar to the music of Phillip Glass and Steve Reich, who you would only hear on that same radio station. I talked myself into buying their records, but it took years to comprehend them. I was too young to be listening to such serious stuff. I played soccer and ran track for a couple years. During meets at other schools, I made friends. At parties I heard Issac Hayes, Bohannon and James Brown records. Brown was all over top 40 radio. Rhythm guitar was my jam! Soul and funk records were best for that. I spent many nights listening to AM radio. The signal travels farther at night, so I’d listen to stations far away. It didn’t matter what kind of music it was. Some of my relatives had short wave radios. I was more interested in radio production than short wave content. The production quality has not changed much since then.  It often sounds like broadcasts trapped in the ether for the last 30 years.

 While I was in high school, it was common for local colleges to host rock and jazz concerts for low prices, sometimes free. The schools had to spend the money sitting in the student union coffers.   There was a live music club in my town called Joint In The Woods. The venue began as a banquet hall that doubled as a meeting hall for Boy Scout Jamborees and the like.  When it became the Joint, it was a disco. The first night of live music was a show with Iggy & The Stooges. The regular disco patrons were pissed!  The guys were mostly goombah’s in Quiana print shirts and bell bottoms. Three or four guys smacked Iggy around after his set.  Sure enough, he played Max’s Kansas City the next night as if nothing happened. Because of this club, touring bands were suddenly playing in my town. Badfinger, Roy Wood’s Wizzard, Muddy Waters. The NY Dolls were scheduled but didn’t show up. Springsteen was often an opening act. The N.J. legal drinking age had just lowered to 18. It was a great time. I was still in school, so I wasn’t staying out on weeknights.

I was determined to learn NYC music history by hitting all the Greenwich Village clubs and talking to the owners and bartenders. It didn’t matter what kind of music they specialized in- I was into the vibe. There were occasional scary nights parking near CB’s or jazz spots in that neighborhood. Folk music was on FM radio at the time. A high school friend booked a local coffee house called Tea & Cheese. Mostly locals and ambitious tri-state artists. Martin Mull, Aztec Two Step, Garland Jeffries. Some of Lou Reed’s touring band, The Tots, played there.  I went to all kinds of record stores, mainly those that sold rock imports and cutouts. I was fascinated by the street level buzz of a record. In ’74, I heard dub reggae for the first time. The only stores to get that music were in Queens because there was a strong West Indian community there. It may have been the “Harder They Come” soundtrack that got me started. There was a “pay to play” radio station in Newark - WHBI. DJ’s had to buy their airtime. Arnold “Trinidad” Henry had a weekly show playing new calypso and reggae. He was more into calypso than reggae.  A lot of calypso was political and comical. Arnold was fascinating! There was often a personal crisis he’d talk about on the air. My favorite incident was when he said that his life had been threatened during the program, so he locked himself in the studio.. Someone called the cops. They convinced him to unlock the door. He just wanted more airtime.  Arnold played the first reggae dub track I’d heard- full dub albums were a new concept at the time. Most dub was found on the flipsides of reggae 45’s. One of the shows sponsors was Chin Randy’s Records in Queens. I trekked out there by train to buy my first dub records. That was a trip! Randy Chin’s family went on to start VP Records.

 What was the first alternative/independent music you got into? How did it happen (friends? older siblings?)

RF-The term “punk” as a music style hadn’t been coined yet.  I vaguely recall equating “punk” with the great “Nuggets” compilation or something Greg Shaw might have writ in Bomp Magzine. I didn’t identify labels as independent. I knew that if the label design was simple and the address was listed, it was probably a small company.  There were plenty of record stores carrying obscure stuff.   I bought import records from a few NYC stores. I took the bus in until I was old enough to drive.  One store Pantasia, was up in The Bronx. I went there one Christmas eve day to get the import of the second Sadistic Mika Band album. The clerk talked me into buying the harder to find first album as well. He said it sounded like Shel Talmy produced it. I knew who that was and it was a revelation to talk to somebody in a record store at that level. That is what a record store should be! I read Phonograph Record magazine, Bomp and Trouser Press regularly.  Patti Smith and Television self released their debut singles- those are the first “indie” records I bought, followed by the first two Pere Ubu singles.  I remember hearing the Modern Lovers’ “Roadrunner” from the Bezerkley Chartbusters comp on WFMU and thinking that there must be more music like that. It was refreshing.

Seeing Patti Smith and Television perform at CBGB’s changed my life. I connected the dots. I had BÖC albums on which Patti had co-writes.  She had a poem insert in Todd Rundgren’s “A Wizard, A True Star” album. She read a Morrison poem on a Ray Manzarek lp. She wrote for rock music mags with distinctive style. I read a brief story about her in the Voice and went to see her do her annual Rock N’ Rimbaud show. Shortly after that she and Television played CBGB’s for six weekends in early ’75. Both bands were really great. Patti didn’t have a drummer yet. Richard Hell was a big inspiration to me.  He looked cool. He played bass like he just picked it up the month before. That was a new concept.  Television changed bass players in the middle of the residency. Television was the first band I saw with short hair and they dressed like teenage delinquents circa 1962. The CBGB’s jukebox had a good number of 60’s garage records. In my head I conceived Television  to be inspired by that music.  Made sense to me- Lenny Kaye, who assembled the “Nuggets” comp,  is in the PSG. When I went back to see Television headline, The Ramones opened. Seeing The Ramones again, Talking Heads opened. It seemed like the streak of seeing great new bands would not end. They were distinctly NYC sounds. They could not have merged anywhere else.  I remember avoiding the band Suicide because I didn’t think the music could be good J. Bands like Tuff Darts, Mumps and The Marbles opened shows but I wasn’t thrilled by them. A CBGB’s band that doesn’t get mentioned much is Mink DeVille. They wore matching outfits like they were playing a low budget Miami dive in 1962J.  The club still had the small corner stage. The p.a. was ok and the bands had small amps. The music wasn’t loud in a “rock” way. You could sit at a table right in front of the band. Although we consider the club a birthplace of punk, the club showcased local bands that had been around for a while. I think the club upgraded the p.a. once before building the big stage. I realized at that point that when a band was great or at least interesting live, the records were basic documents of the band’s sound.

What was your first job in the music scene/industry?

RF- Before realizing I wanted to be in the business, I hounded import mail order guys on the phone about non-lp b-sides and albums that weren’t released stateside.  I was fascinated by the process.  Why were some records not in stores even though they had local airplay? My dad did not listen to much music, but he had an army buddy that made a living in Al Hirt’s band. He came to our house once. He gave my dad a copy of John Fahey’s “After The Ball” album, which he played on.  I liked his stories about the session man side of the business.  Fahey treated him well.  I was generally shy, but when it came to music I would approach anyone I thought I could learn from.  I heard horror stories about the music biz in NYC but learned later that those were a mob related labels. At the time, I thought the entire NYC music biz might be that way. I planned to move to California anyway.   In high school, I go-fer’d at local Jersey radio stations and talked my way into meeting a few top FM radio dj’s. I thought I wanted to be a professional dj, but my dad wisely talked me out of that. The itinerant radio jock life would not be for me. It was a racket.

In ’76, I took a long low budget cross country trip with my high school sweetheart.  Along the way, I stayed in Memphis for three weeks with a cousin who was stationed at the Millington naval base.  Got a job at a hip movie theatre that served liquor.  I found Alex Chilton in the phone book and spent an afternoon talking with him. I wasn’t yet legal drinking age in Tennessee. It amused him that a fan showed up in his town who was not old enough to drink.  En route to Cali, Tulsa, OK was on my route to find Shelter Records and studio , but it  shut down and the label moved to L.A. At the time, Dwight Twilley’s “I’m On Fire” was a radio hit. I didn’t think there were still bands like that. Twilley was from Tulsa, but had moved to L.A. by that time.

When I arrived in L.A. I visited small label record company offices. A few offered me jobs or references. I spent two weeks crashing at the Malibu house of a distant family friend. I didn’t want to live in L.A. but I was encouraged by the opportunities. I got a job at the famous record store- Rather Ripped in Berkeley, CA.

 Patti Smith told me about Rather Ripped before I left Jersey. In ’75, she and her band went to California for shows in L.A. and Berkeley. The northern Cali shows were set up by the store. She did a poetry reading there. This is well before “Horses” was released.  I bought a couple records from the store’s Dedicated Fool mail order service. They had a monthly catalog on newsprint. Thousands of records in tiny font.  Every record was described with a few words. This is 1976 and punk rock was just getting started. I worked as a prep cook in a charcuterie associated with Alice Waters’ famous restaurant Chez Panisse. The proprietor knew the record store owners. I wasn’t actively looking to work there, but I talked about music all day every day. They fast tracked me for an interview. Because of a scheduling mistake, Tom Petty interviewed me for the job. His first album just came out and “American Girl” was close to being a hit single. The band came to the store before a local show. Tom overheard the owner apologizing for not being able to do the interview, so he offered to conduct it.  It was great. I knew all about his label, Shelter Records.  I deliberately avoided talking about The Ramones and Patti Smith because punk was new and against the grain.  At the end of the interview Tom told the owners that if he lived in Berkeley, he’d buy all his records from me.  The store owner still had to interview me formally the next day, but I knew that I nailed it.

 It was owned by two dynamic gents that were connected to Berkeley society and Bay Area journalists. They weren’t typical record store guys. They celebrated the 70’s in the moment. They held court with well known music scribes, musicians, dj’s. They were good friends of The Residents. Perhaps my strangest story is meeting The Residents with the Rather Ripped owners at a S.F. Irish bar that specialized in Irish Coffee’s. I had only recently heard of the group, so I was not cognizant of their marketing myth.   At the bar, we were with our girlfriends and wives. One of the Residents tried to convince me and my gf to go back their place for a hot tub session.  I laughed out loud and said “geez, what a bunch of hippies”! We didn’t go. In retrospect, I should have gone on the condition that they wore eyeball heads in the tub. At that time, The Residents rarely performed live, but they did in 1975 for the store’s birthday party. The early Bezerkley Records (Jonathan Richman, Greg Kihn) was distributed to stores through Rather Ripped. Their office was a few blocks away. At the store, each employee had unique music taste and expertise. Pop music was changing rapidly with a new energy. Some of us were tapped into it.  We all had to know the key new releases in every genre because we were tastemakers. Major labels would beg us to do window displays for new releases. But if they could not find a store employee that liked that artist, it was no go. So, no Pablo Cruise window display.  We weren’t against major labels, but we put a lot of energy into selling the ton of music that we loved. Our focus was on imports, indies, promos and cut outs where we could get a good price mark up.  We had a rare record search service with customers all over the world. We’d find rare records through trade-ins and by combing record stores all over the state.

There were a few import distributors, but they weren’t hip to many small run U.S. independent releases. That was understandable because bands didn’t often press enough records for a distributor to get excited about. In other words, why spend half your day hunting down records that were only pressed in small quantities. Just as they start selling, you’re out of stock. There gonna sell a hell of a lot more Scorpions’ picture discs!   As always, some distributors financed exclusive re-pressings of records that had momentum. The only way to get records like Roky Erikson’s “Two Headed Dog” single or The Flamin’ Groovies’ “You Tore Me Down” 45 was directly through mail order.  I wrote to label addresses listed in Trouser Press and fanzines to buy direct in order to sell them in the store with no competition. Major label sales reps didn’t prioritize us  because we didn’t shift bulk units of the hits. However, we were so plugged in to the lesser known artists that we were a good place for record companies to try and start a buzz. We could swell 50-100 of a record that all the other stores sold a handful of. Bands showed up at the store while touring.  Springsteen bought Dylan bootlegs from us by mail order. Patti Smith’s manager Jane Friedman used the store as a home base when Patti and John Cale came through the area.

Berkeley is in the East Bay of the S.F. bay area. A few months after starting at Rather Ripped, I realized that the city had a rich music scene well before punk /new wave started. There was Fantasy Records, a well known jazz r&b label but best known for CCR;  Arhoolie, Solid Smoke, Metalanguage;  the contemp classical labels- Lovely Music and 1750 Arch; folk and blues labels like Takoma and Olivia. Of course, bands like Chrome and others started labels to release their own music. Ralph Records was started by The Residents, and they began signing bands.  Rather Ripped was also a center for improv, electronic and meditation records.

In ’77 or ’78   I joined the nascent Maximum Rock N Roll radio team. This was well before the magazine. In the early days there were weeks when we didn’t have enough new punk records to fill the two hour weekly show. Tim Yohannon was all about energetic, real rock n roll, so he filled in the program with records by Gene Vincent, The Sonics etc. BTW, Tim applied green masking tape to the three closed sides of every record he had. He gave me a Mekons double single  he decided he didn’t like. It was in a  gatefold sleeve that he sealed shut with his green tape!  Sometimes he re-designed the cover art…never for the better. He made his own pic sleeves for 45’s that didn’t have them. Bands would stare at their own records in bewilderment. Tim was archiving the records of the entire punk and hardcore movement worldwide.

Eventually, Tim brought in Ruth Schwartz, and Jeff Bale as co-hosts- both great people.  Jello Biafra was a frequent guest. Tim assembled the “Not So Quiet On The Western Front” lp and later organized syndication for the radio show. I remember hearing the first Disorder ep and thinking -this is the future! J  It was exciting. But soon, most hardcore records sounded alike to me. It was like- “Do you want more fries with your fries?” I went to plenty of live shows without knowing a lot about the bands playing them. I was happy when the fashion trended away from jackboots to sneakers…getting a boot kick to the head in a stage dive could be brutal.  I didn’t see a lot of skinhead violence at shows, but I know it was changing the scene.

San Francisco and Berkeley were important music centers, activist meccas as well as creative artistic and intellectual hubs.  Yohannon had history as an activist. He identified with public protests for causes & social issues.  For many teenagers, punk rock was a rite of passage. I think it changed a lot of kids’ lives for the better.  The overriding message was to be civically aware of what is going on around you and what affects your life.

 Tell me about your time at Arhoolie Records. Where was it located?

Rather Ripped’s owners had a falling out and the remaining owner just wanted to sell records and antiques with his wife. He moved it to a nearby city. Just before the store closed, he told me of an open position at Back Room Distribution, a division of Arhoolie. It was in El Cerrito, a small town north of Berkeley. Chris Strachwitz, the owner of Arhoolie is a legendary record man. He recorded many of his early blues albums with a tape recorder in his car.  He owned the legendary Down Home Music store in the same building.  Separated by partition behind the store was Back Room.  It was an indie label distributor for blues, folk roots music. Rounder Records was still a new label at the time. I gotta admit, when Rounder issued The Shaggs “Philosophy Of The World’ I was in seventh heaven. I worked primarily for the distributor, grooming to be a sales rep but I spent a lot of time in the store.  At first, I didn’t yet relate to blues and country music. But there were a lot of touring artists in those styles making a living. It was a strong network of clubs, fans, radio shows and press that fueled it. The store had an incredible selection of obscure 50’s/60’s rockabilly and garage band comps. The Cramps were my favorite band at the time.  The rockabilly comps  mostly on a the Dutch White Label, were treasure troves of insane songs.  My heart was in new music- whatever you wanna call it, punk, new wave, art music. That’s the business I wanted to be in.  I used my time to learn more about distribution operations. The people that worked at Arhoolie and in its community were fun music heads. There were a lot of good musicians among them.  It was a great time to live in Berkeley.

What was next, Rough Trade and CD Presents? Was that in San Francisco? I went to that Rough Trade store a few times and it was an amazing store.

I knew folks from Rough Trade UK because I bought imports from them to sell @ Rather Ripped. When they wanted to open in the U.S. they contacted me, but at the time the wage was low and there wasn’t enough space to work. I was interested in working in the distribution division, not the store. They speiled something about it being a socialist business.  I stayed at Arhoolie for a little while longer.  In the meantime, I was offered my own weekly late night radio show on Pacifica’s  KPFA in Berkeley- same station as Maximum Rock N’Roll. I took over a show called “Night Sky”, an ambient music program. My interim program title was “No More Mr. Night Sky” until I settled on “Assassinatin’ Rhythm”. The station’s music director was a contemporary classical composer closely associated with avant -garde and 20th century music. A major segment of my show was for industrial, post-punk and undefinable music. I hosted a few live on- air performances with Z’ev, Slovenly and Angst among others. Negativland’s “Over The Edge” program started on KPFA around this time. KPFA was 100,000 watts of power with affiliate stations covering the Central Valley down to Fresno and Bakersfield.

 When the time was right, I moved to Rough Trade’s U.S. distribution company in Berkeley. The record store was in San Francisco. We distributed a lot of British records sent by Rough Trade UK, often in small quantities.  Rough Trade US was set up to press and distribute select RT and Factory records by Joy Division, ACR, The Fall, Stiff Little Fingers, Crass. It was cheaper and more effective to press in the U.S and Canada. I also distributed some U.S. labels but there was one Brit on the staff that hated most American music.  On top of that, it could be a dangerous place to work. One of the staff was importing reggae records and weed from Jamaica to our warehouse. The local connection was shot on his porch shortly after he picked up a shipment! I was lucky to spend a few days travelling with Mark E.Smith of The Fall. He loved obscure rockabilly and garage band records. I was able to return to Memphis for a while to prep the first Panther Burns album for release. Tony Wilson of Factory put up most of the money to keep RTUS going. He was a brilliant character, but I learned from talking with him how not to conduct business. I often got sample records from bands that wanted distribution. Pell Mell’s “Rhyming Guitars” e.p.  was the start of my long association with the band. I enjoyed selling records to stores all over the country. I learned about local scenes, records, fanzines, clubs and college radio stations everywhere. Making these sources connect for touring bands and record sales was exciting. Because Rough Trade is British, we had the benefit of connections with club dj’s. We pressed and promoted New Order’s “Blue Monday” single on a shoestring budget.  For a long time, it was the best kept secret from the mainstream.  I left Rough Trade for Subterranean Records ( Flipper etc) for a spell while working in a record store. The guy that put up the money for the record store ran guns to Cuba through Mexico. Thankfully, not through the actual store.  I booked Cali shows for Panther Burns, The Wipers, Sonic Youth, Whitehouse.

Who owned the CD Presents label? I remember that Avengers compilation.

It was owned by a lawyer, David Ferguson. He had a recording studio as well.  I didn’t understand why he wanted to run a label. He did not have an ear for music. But we did release a Tales Of Terror lp!  He almost released a DOA album that I thought the band would kill him over. Many years later I got into a fist fight with one of David’s employees in a limo ride shared with Ferguson and Lydia Lunch. We fought through the window separating the driver from the passengers. I would love to recreate that for a film. Good times!

My main role there was to set up the first Billy Bragg record in the U.S. Billy’s manager was the legendary Peter Jenner and both were great to work with. They were using CD Presents as a stepping stone to a major label. In the meantime, I knew a few people at SST. Joe Carducci is an old friend. He was pitching me to move to L.A. and work there,  but I resisted for a while. I had just met the woman that I knew would be the love of my life. I didn’t want to move to SoCal. Joe gave me an ultimatum. He sent three advance cassettes that convinced me to go- Meat Puppets’ “Up On The Sun”, Minutemen’s “Double Nickels” and Huskers’ “New Day Rising” That’s an excellent recruiting strategy. I later married the love of my life.

On the side I booked shows for bands I loved. Gerard Cosloy asked me to book Sonic Youth first northern Cali shows. I also booked shows for The Wipers and noise band Whitehouse

Was SST Records next? How long did you last there and what was that like?

I was there for three years. “How long did you last there?” sounds like I was biding my time :)   I’m often asked about my time with SST.

Carducci hired me to do PR. That meant publicity, college radio, regional press. Video was a valuable promo tool. MTV’s “120 Minutes” program was a great way to promote our records.

In 1987 we put out more records than Warner Brothers. By that time, I hired people to help.

I’ve done a number of interviews about SST. If you have specific questions, shoot. I recall that my social life was almost entirely with my co-workers and bands on the label. I was nearly oblivious to music from other labels. I was a big fan of Dischord and Homestead. Metallica, COC, Voivod and the Birthday Party/Nick Cave were my non-SST staples.

I think around this time I had met you briefly in NJ at one of the Elks Lodge shows that my old friend Ralph Jones put on. Were you living in NJ at that point or just visiting?

You’ve mentioned that before and I don’t recall the specific show. I moved out of NJ permanently in ’76. I came back for annual summer visits to NYC, north Jersey and Philly. Some high school friends went to Upsala College, then the home of WFMU. On my first visit back in ’76  I met Irwin Chusid and R. Stevie Moore. Some high school friends were connected to Feelies before they took that name.

Was Blast First! next? I met Pat Naylor once and hung out with her at a show and she was really sweet.

Yeah around the time I left SST, the folks in Sonic Youth called saying that they had left as well. They wanted me to be involved with Blast First! in the U.S. I knew Paul Smith because he released their albums in the UK. Blast First UK released a number of Touch N Go and SST records. The label was a division of Mute which had a  U.S. deal with Enigma. My job was almost entirely “Daydream Nation” promotion. It was so much fun to be able to go deep  with one album. We issued Ciccone Youth shortly afterward, which augmented the overall Sonic Youth story.  The only other active touring band was Band Of Susans and on a limited level, Lunachicks and Big Stick.  It was only one year of work before Enigma cut Mute/Blast First loose. I went on Sonic Youth’s Soviet Union tour and I had a few memorable meetings with Sun Ra. David Bowie called a few times asking about recording studios that Dino Jr and Sonic Youth used.  Bowie had a brilliant idea to record Suicide’s “Dream Baby Dream” with Glenn Branca’s large guitar group. We tried following up on it but Bowie was immersed in Tin Machine and other projects.

Was it on to Geffen then?

Yes, Sonic Youth had good meetings with the label. I had recently met Mark Kates who was championing the signing.  He suggested that I come in to meet the entire company. He brought my name up with David who said, “we need someone like that here”.

I had fleeting thoughts that working for a major was “selling out”...punching corporate clock. I wanted to apply what I knew on a larger scale.  

What was that like, working for a proper major label? Was David Geffen still involved?

On my second day there, David called me into his office. He is down to earth, street smart. Like many of the best in the biz, he didn’t have an attitude.  He had met with the Meat Puppets. He sensed that Dinosaur Jr. was important. I reminded him that I was not hired for a&r.

He said- “I don’t assign job titles. If you find something else you’d like to do here, you can pursue it ‘after 5pm’ ”. I found reissue projects like the Pere Ubu box and Raincoats catalog. I recorded a new Raincoats album.  I signed Southern Culture On The Skids, Garrison Starr, Skiploader. I assembled and recorded Rob Zombie’s Halloween Hootenanny comp. With Sonic Youth, I pondered making records with John Fahey and Townes Van Zandt. After ten years, it was time to move on.

Tell us what you do now, didn’t you get involved with digital music at some point?

Geffen Records was folded into Interscope in 1999 and I was bored with the limitations of the business as it was.  Digital music was gaining ground solely through illegal file trading on Napster. I knew there would be a major shift in the business moving to digital. I worked for the download site. eMusic.com, signing distribution agreements with labels. This was years before iTunes and YouTube. Major labels would not work with us because mp3 files are open source files that could be traded freely without control.  They saw eMusic as a facilitator of illegal file trading. Like marijuana use leading to hard drugs!  In the big picture, I knew that digital downloads weren’t “sexy”.  But at some point, digital music would develop into something easier to track and use. We skipped the major labels. The bigger independent labels understood that digital music would be the future.  It was a great place to be. I knew a lot of music, but I had no idea there were so many labels in every country. One label owner told me that I had the best  job in the world. I knew that to explain this new unproven music format it could be an uphill climb. So I took the time to research label websites for song samples. That way I could find common ground with label owners. There’s surf music in Brazil? There’s a young female cellist duo in Prague that make energetic music? There’s archaic royalty rules connected to opera arrangements? Bring it on!  It certainly changed how I listen to music.

It was a time when business rules and legal rights had to change in order to deal with digital income disbursement. For example, digital downloads could be sold by the song while royalty payments were based on album sales. eMusic was at the forefront of those changes. When iTunes launched, digital music was “legitimized”. Borne out of eMusic was RoyaltyShare which provides a royalty accounting platform for labels. It is now a division of The Orchard and I divide my time between The Orchard and RoyaltyShare.

Who are some current bands you are into?

A loaded question! I listen to a lot of new music. I spend a lot of time listening to records and cd’s in my collection. Of current artists,  I really like Steve Gunn’s music. I listen to the projects involving members of Sonic Youth.  Bill Nace, Kim’s partner in Body/Head is a guitar genius. Body/Head’s music is a cathartic experience for me.  London is lucky to have Thurston Moore living and working there. I think the music they make separately is far more exciting that what Sonic Youth would’ve made if still together.

Lately I’m digging Melenas from Spain, Hayvenlar Alemi from Turkey. Quin Kirchner is a Chicago based  drummer that put out a great jazz record in 2018 called “The Other Side Of Time”. I think he plays on Ryley Walker ‘s records.

Because I’ve spent so much time with the music of Sonic Youth, Branca and Rhys Chatham, I crave the occasional dive into instrumental symphonic guitar army and tonal stuff. Current favorites in that vein are Bosse De Nage, Pelican, Sunn O)))

Given the chance I’ll see any performance by Mary Halvorson, Ches Smith, Marc Ribot or Mary Lattimore.

It took me years to get it, but I’m now a big fan of Keiji Haino’ music.  Dean McPhee is a British guitarist I really like. I just bought a couple of Willie Lane lp’s on Feeding Tube.

I research music history and the development of the industry. There are historical and social components of every type of music by culture, country, time period. I love stories about riots at premieres of new avant garde works. I read a book about famous classical composers in the 18th Century playing home concerts (salons) where people are talking the entire time…but they are paid handsomely for the performance.   Streaming music sites and YouTube are vast repositories of music and cultural documentation.

Do you still make it out to many shows?

I go to two/three shows a month when I’m home and more when traveling especially NY/London. I start work early in the morning so I’m not out late often.  I understand why people see less live music as they get older. I’m done with music festivals. The Big Ears Festival is the only Stateside event that might inspire me to stand for eight hours.

I always hear music by new artists that I really like. I don’t always go to see the live show. Sometimes I hear a new band that sounds like a band  I liked 20 years ago.  I wouldn’t deliberately see a band that uses another band’s sound as a template.

 What are your top 10 desert island discs?

I cannot do 10. It’s 20 or nothing. If you say sorry Ray, it will be nothing. FineJ If I’m on an island, I’ll listen to the ocean waves and sounds of nature. If I’m relegated to a desert, I’ll listen to the blood coarsing through my veins.

Miles Davis- Kind Of Blue

Television- Marquee Moon

Peter Brotzmann- Machine Gun

Sex Pistols -Never Mind The Bollocks

Rolling Stones- Let It Bleed

Soundtrack – The Harder They Come

Billy Harper – Black Saint

Kleenex/Liliput- First Songs

Patti Smith Group -Easter

Hound Dog Taylor & The Houserockers- Houserockin’

Led Zeppelin- Houses Of The Holy

Sonic Youth – Daydream Nation

Elvis Presley- Sun Sessions

The Cramps- Songs The Lord Taught Us

Pell Mell -Flow

Procol Harum- A Salty Dog

Sibelius- Complete Symphonies

Lou Reed -Coney Island Baby

Meat Puppets- Up On The Sun

The Kinks- Kinks Kronikles

 “Hmm....Flow or Star City?”

 Any final words? Closing comments? Anything you wanted to mention that I didn’t ask.

I’ve been involved off and on with the artist Raymond Pettibon for a music project called Supersession. He has made records under this moniker before. This project began in 1990 and stalled for many years. We revived it a couple years ago. I play bass. Raymond wrote many pages of words and lyrics that he passed to the band, encouraging us to write music behind them. It’s different from Raymond’s other records because it is not improvised. Rick Sepulveda, our guitarist is a great songwriter and he wrote music for Raymond’s words. Rick sings a bunch of the songs because Raymond loves his voice. We did a  NYC performance in November that was really fun. So now of course, I’m thinking we should play monthly in L.A. We are nearly finished with the album that we recorded at Casa Hanzo, the San Pedro studio Mike Watt owns with Pete Mazich. Raymond is a brilliant man; fun and inspiring to work with. When I practice with Rick, he’ll often break into a cover song deep in the recess of memory. Like John Cale’s “Hanky Panky Nohow” ,Kevin Ayers’ “Oh Wot A Dream” or the Doors “Wishful Sinful”. We may cover a Harry Toledo song. It’s a blast.  I hope to have the album finished in July.

 Tav, Bobby, Pell Mell and Ray 

[saltine-kakyoin]

OH SHIT!!!! my clown ass never saw that u rb'd those ask posts, i was Looking at my notifs to see if u would so i could send u some but SOMEHOW I MISSED IT??? clown hours.... ANyways for the emoji one have 🤗💙💘🍀😇 and 👍 (tried to not do repeats from your ask 2 me cause they all apply anyways but, Regardless) and for the questions post, maybe 5, 11, 12, 17, 20, 23 and 25? ;__;/ ily so much and i hope u have a rlly lovely night!!! and that this coming week is kinder 2 u!!!! 💖💖💖💖

ahhh, it’s no worries!!! idk about you but for me, tumblr has been having the Time of Its LIFE lately wrt notifications and most disconcertingly, unfollowing people! D: so i completely get it, it’s no worries!!! ;w;/ i already know for a Fact i’m going to write so so much, so i’m gonna put this under a readmore >w< ruth 🤝 sarah respectful lesbian moments

edit: so I finished writing it and it’s Insanely Long- just in case you don’t make it to the bottom, thank you mein broth-er!!!! ; O; i hope you have a wonderful night too!! writing all of this out made me reminisce on some really nice times, and I’m having an a1 night! ^^ ilysm! it’ll probably be daytime when you read this, so i hope you have a great day! <3

🤗 given the chance I would gladly hug you

on god!!!! ;___; i think i would frfr dissolve if a got a Ruth-Certified hug, things have been so overwhelming lately

💙 you are my closest friend

the feeling is mutual!! <3 we don’t always get to talk often, but fhdhshg when we do we talk about like All of the Madness in Sarah’s Mind^tm, and you are so patient + tolerant of my incoherent ramblings which is something i don’t think i’ve ever fully experienced? anyhow, after a year (more than a year?) of having these kinds of convos and going through the general madness of life together, I totally agree ;w;

💘 I love you so much

i love you too!!! so so much!!! 💃🕺 i don’t think words will ever be able to express how much i love and appreciate you! 💜💛

🍀 i’m lucky to have met you

i know we talk about this often, but seriously i feel the same way! it’s a little crazy that we met, technically, because Joseph Joestar tm deserved more than to be a cheater... there is something hilarious about this wild friendship rooting from him!! of all jojos!! 🤢 but i’m so grateful that we met, it’s been such a wonderful ride ;w; <3

😇 you’re a sweet cinnamon bun

🥺🥺🥺🥺 bro i- fhdhghdhgh thank you!!! ;o;

👍 you are fun to be around

ahhh, thank you!!! i am glad you feel this way bc whoo boy, i think some other people would look at the madness i tell you about and go 👁️👁️ that’s a no for me, luvs. remember last year when i was losing it tryna prepare for ren faire + i cut my palm on that one glass bottle? bc a- i barely do and b- i feel like that moment encapsulates the nicki minaj roman holiday-ness of my life XD i’m really grateful you’ve stuck around through it all 🤗💕💖

now buckle in bro!!!! the essays are incoming!!!

5. Name a movie that makes you genuinely laugh.

i swear on my life the Mortal Kombat movie from 1995 is a national treasure, it is SUCH a solid movie and has so many funny moments. Robin Shou makes such a 🥺🥺 Liu Kang, and jesus fuck he can be so savage when the script calls for it!! there’s one part where he takes Johnny Cage’s luggage and straight up fucking chucks it into the ocean + then bullies him about it later! honestly the Ballad of Johnny Cage and His Luggage is one of my favorite parts from the movie <3 if you haven’t seen it + you like cheesy, old school movies, i really recommend it!!!

11. Describe the memory of the last time you felt true happiness.

So I can’t remember the last time I did, bc my memory is horrifically terrible + probably getting worse as time goes on?? but i will tell you about one of the more recent times I remember! :D There is one crucial expository note for this memory- my brother-in-law makes THE best chili in the entire world. my brother and I were trying to recreate it because it’s such a simple but delicious + filling meal- I think this was our first time trying to create it? and it was SO chaotic, the tomato sauce and stuff kept popping and burning me and we weren’t 100% certain that we’d gathered the right ratios for the ingredients and it was just. madness lmao. Chance’s chili is one that you leave alone for multiple hours at a time (I think this is the case for all chili but i don’t cook often enough to know ;__;), and we were kinda 👀👀👀 because we weren’t sure it’d turn out right? But it did!!!! I vividly remember when it was finished and we taste-tested it + went oOOH FUCK! it wasn’t quite the same as chance’s but ohhh my god it was so good 🥰🥰🥰 but yeah!! we ate it all up and I think this was around the time I started my playthrough of Esteban for Dragon Age 2? which was one of my favorite playthroughs for the entire franchise... he’s just a simple ig beard model mage ;w; i wanted to show you what he looked like in this post but the formatting went wonky so ig i’ll just post him separately?? it’s 1000% in-character for him to infiltrate my jojo blog 😔

12. Name a song that makes you feel ethereal.

hm...I’d say it’s between Forget About or Feet of Clay! They’re both such light and tenderhearted songs, and when I listen to them I feel like I’m in an apartment kitchen slow-dancing with a love, and it’s so dark except for the slowly rising sun. I don’t know if that feeling could be described as ethereal? but it’s close enough for me

17. What is something you own that is important to you? What makes it so important?

I have a small collection of scripts from the shows I’ve been in, and two of the most important ones are from the plays my high school put on during my sophomore and junior years, The Nit-Wits and The Musical Comedy Murders of 1940, respectively! The Nit-Wits has a ton of sentimental value to me because it was the last show I genuinely acted in, and it was a show we had to pull together in 2 or 3 weeks!! We were originally going to do a murder mystery play for the fall, but none of the cast was feeling it and it just wasn’t going to come to life in time (honestly this speaks volumes for how much we weren’t vibing with it, because all of our shows came together at like.. the final dress rehearsals if not opening night lmao). I vividly remember we took a vote during rehearsals about whether or not to switch the show, and then we did and it was SO fun + chaotic!! My character was one of the only regular characters in the show, but I think everyone else had a lot of fun acting as actors who were hired to be maniacal, and that made acting off of them so fun! I remember there was also a night my friend Adonis almost tore the entire set down because he ran through a door and tripped over a set brace in his haste!! The Nit-Wits is hugely important because it was a really fresh acting experience for me, and again, my last time genuinely on the stage and not behind the scenes!

MCM is important to me because it was the first play I ever stage managed! I’d stage managed our musical the spring prior, but that was a huge undertaking and involved many different people and moving parts. Stage managing a play, at least at my high school, was a calmer and more intimate experience, and one I really enjoyed! Another huge reason I treasure MCM’s script is because it is one of the last shows I had with my friend I told you about- he was a senior. I have little notes and doodles from the cast and crew scattered throughout my book for this show, and I remember being so irritated by this because it meant I was losing space for stage directions, cues, and notes. Now, I’m super grateful to have these scribbles- it’s one of the only things I have left of him. 

On that note, relating to him, MCM is also the show which birthed my most horrific theater horror story!! During one of the performances, I guess he forgot his line?? idk. But he ended up jumping six pages ahead of where the current scene was (I knew this bc I was following along in my book backstage + was frantically trying to figure out where he’d gone), which threw the entire cast, who were all tragically onstage, way off-track. This resulted in the most frightening game of script ping-pong I’ve ever seen: he’d skipped six pages ahead, so Adonis ended up saying a line from two pages after the six-page skip, and somehow someone else went!! oh I have a response to that line! And then said something like 9 pages back! I think the lead actress tried to ground everyone back to the lines they were supposed to be saying, but she ended up just saying a lot of their lines? And one of those lines that was supposed to be said by someone else was supposed to cue a black-out that someone got murdered in, but my lighting techie was SO fucking lost (we were both huddled over the script next to the breaker trying to figure out WHERE the hell we were! i think i had a flashlight in my mouth so I could flip through the book with both hands and thus faster??), so ofc the lights stayed up! I remember getting through this scene being the most painstaking endeavor of my entire life, but thankfully intermission was right after it! We actually extended intermission because the cast needed a hot second to fuckign RESET for Act 2 bc sweet jesus that was so bizarre...Needless to say, after that show we never messed that scene up again + everyone who acted in the show became super anal about knowing their lines as the years went on. The Six Page Skip became a legendary part of our hs theater Canon (like biblical canon ;w; although I don’t think anyone’s talked about it since my class graduated) alongside the times one of our ensemble dudes had to break through the roof of the girl’s dressing room to retrieve the keys to the theater + i got stuck on stage!

20. What’s the sweetest thing someone has done for you?

I really had to wrack my brain to answer this one, as I’m generally not the person people do things for, you know? This answer goes wayyy back, to 8th grade :O but so! there is mild exposition for this- when I started middle school, I lived in North Carolina, but we moved to Florida right before 7th grade bc my grandma is ill. We lived with my uncle while we were looking for a house, so I went to the local middle school bc why wouldn’t I? but in November, we finally found a house + my mom was like....So... are you going to switch schools or...I’d struck up some really solid friendships in this time, so i was like Mom I’d Rather Die OAO. So, we struck up a deal that I’d get to stay at that school on a zone waiver + that she’d drive me to school everyday. Sometime closer to the end of eighth grade she was like, yeah so.. I can’t do this for high school, it’s too much gas- which was valid! I was really sad about it, but I sucked it up.

Anyhow, fast forward to the last day of eighth grade, which was perhaps the saddest day I’d lived up until that point, mostly bc I knew I was probably never going to see all my friends again. My best friend, who I was like hardcore v close to + the person I shared all my wacky AUs and OC’s and headcanons with, was waiting with me for my mom to come pick me up, and then!!! When my mom pulled into the school she suddenly whipped out this lengthy letter she’d written to me about how much she enjoyed my friendship and how grateful she was that we were able to have lunch together (lunch was.. tragically ;__; the only time we really saw each other that year), and that she would never forget me! And she’d drawn me a ton of fanart from all the things I was obsessed with back then!! it was so much so fast, but then my mom was yelling at me to get in the car and I had to go :(

We kept in touch through email freshman year + fake-dated bc a senior was stalking me? ;J; and then we went to Megacon together! but I became really heavily involved in choir and theater after that, and we just kind of drifted apart :( we do follow each other on ig tho! It’s insane to think about her and that letter because on GOD ruth, that was a thinly veiled love letter and I never like... wrote her anything back that was as worthy as what she wrote me. But, she’s doing really well in uni now, so I guess it’s all okay? idk! ; o ;

23. What’s your zodiac sign? Do you think you fit the general characteristics of that sign?

I’m a Cancer!! and also a metal dragon by the Chinese Zodiac, which I’ve always thought was pretty sick! :3 I am 10000% your stereotypical Cancer, super emotional and introspective + often prone to tears ;u; My mom always said that dragons are steadfast and loyal people, and I think this also applies to me, to a fault. I checked around some websites to see what characteristics were often applied to metal dragons specifically, and it seems they are pretty strong-willed, ambitious, and generous? I don’t know if you could call me strong-willed or ambitious, but it’s all good ig.

25. What’s a song that gives off good vibes anytime you listen to it?

Ohh man, I went in on this question for Shannon, but bc I was digging around my library for Jules, I actually found an old fave! This song is from one of my all-time favorite musicals, Once on This Island- it’s The Human Heart! This song is so sweet, and god between the writing for the orchestra + the writing for the ensemble, this song is a straight masterpiece <3 I love love love the line, “Through your love you’ll live forever”, and although I am Hardcore Terrified of getting a tattoo, I really want that line tattooed on my body. if you have time, I recommend giving Once on This Island a listen!! I’ve never heard a show that uses its instruments and singers the way OoTI does (and holy FUCK it is so breathtaking live!!! I got to see it on Broadway and bro.... 🥺🥺 it was transcendental..)

[skinfeeler]

meandering diary post, or the melancholic tale of my 24-hour completely onesided romance in the context of the human condition

[[MORE]]

i've been a member of a student organisation for queer people for about half a year now. this means that i hadn't attended an introductory period yet — once an academic year, at the start of it — but that i knew basically everyone who organised it.

after a few days of miscellaneous activities that were mostly 'okay' (minus a drunk fall of my bike at some point) i knew a couple more people. still, it was nothing like the summer camp at the end of it.

the first 90% of the journey was by train. i shared four seats facing each other with three other people, including a girl who was slightly taller and a bit older than me. she had brought a wine bottle and so it happened that the four of us already started drinking at about 15, not even at the camp yet.

we got along though— especially this girl and i. we talked a bunch about the kinds of exercise/sports we like. she was my second round that day in explaining the rules of roller derby, i can do it in about 20 seconds now with the help of the images from the 'basics' section of this article: http://mtlrollerderby.com/the-rules-of-roller-derby/?lang=en w

e also talked about gender a bit. it went all right. we had a later conversation in our bunk that day where we really bonded, about trauma too and all that stuff.

"we have a bond, i think."

that was later though, for now i was still on my way. at some point i turned inwards as i sometimes do and during one of the transfers while outside she pulled me away and asked me if i was all right. i explained that i just have a few issues and that sometimes they played up. she gave me the big scarf she was wearing and told me to put it over my head and narrow my field of vision that way, just kind of hide in it. that that's what she does when she's not well. that was nice of her.

we missed the train-bus connection because we went to the supermarket of the small remote village to buy more wine, but we got picked up by a second bus a bit later.

once at the place i changed into a sexier outfit and instantly felt more confident. this was immediately crushed once people started making (completely benign) jokes about std tests. i started thinking about my own test and the rape that happened before it and just went sit somewhere with a beer bottle to be sad. one of the people who i knew was an organiser but didn't personally know asked me if i was all right and i stood up and tried to ask if we could go outside for a bit, but didn't manage to speak because i was already crying. fortunately he understood the cue. i told him about that i got triggered and he made sure to make it clear to me that the committee would do its best to look after me if i allowed him to tell that sometimes i get like this, with them not having to know what exactly. i took him up on the offer, and it helped that subsequently an organiser would occasionally come to me when i lost my vibe, which was quite often.

but in that moment just knowing people actually take it seriously was enough, and i told him that the best thing now would probably just be to rejoin the party and chug my beer, and so we returned inside and so i did.

a while later i lost a good portion of my energy again. in a fateful moment, i decided to go back to my room which i shared with others. my new friend was talking about speed with another girl, who ended up giving it to us.

"i'm done with this crap. you can have it if you want to."

i don't have the required associations to procure anything like this myself, so i thought i'd not pass up on the opportunity.

the four of us went back downstairs.

first i was cold, tired, and dull. now i possessed immense warmth, energy, and clarity, almost immediately.

i asked my friend if this is about what i should be feeling. she told me it was, but also immediately switched to her more caring tone and that i should be careful.

"if you ever want to try something, you can always do it at my place."

sounds like a fucked up bid to get me in a vulnerable situation, but given the context and her general conduct i am certain she really was just caring about me in a slightly dark way.

there were drinking games that we played in teams, in most of them chugging alcohol fast combined with skills of physical dexterity was determinant. in my current state, i was absurdly good at both on top of my usual degree of mastery and won us the tournament. it was nice to get cheered on lots— it was cool to be in a parallel dimension where suddenly the skills i had were brought up a number of times in the days after.

i had a great night. i hadn't been (that) happy in months. every moment my body was bursting with energy. i love dancing, and i especially love dancing when weird fellow mental cases who have taken it upon themselves for reasons i don't understand grasp both my hands, pull me in, and keep me very close to them. later we sat on a couch and i leaned against her and it was very nice. every time i asked her if she was uncomfortable she pet my head for a bit, so obviously i was instantly in love.

alcohol disables your mental safeguards and this can backfire. cigarettes just make you slow. speed simply solved every problem instantly.

we danced until 0400. after that we were offered a joint by someone and we passed that around in a circle so we could sleep better. it worked very well, but by the time we went to bed, it was simply almost time to get up, and they don't fuck around with schedule at student camps.

i woke up in agony because the day before i went on camp i had a really intense derby training, and when i dance, i really love to bring my hips into it. everything between my waist and knees was searing, burning, i had to stretch and massage until i took the edge off enough that i could convince myself that i wasn't injured. the night before i hadn't felt anything at all. obviously i was also more hungover than ever before, but like, whatever. because i value a varied diet and a rigorous exercise routine, i decided to take it easy from thereon, only start drinking in the evening, et cetera. i was already going to skip sunday training for this, and additionally there are a few resistance training goals that i want to meet in the near future.

these three felt otherwise. they would go on to drink all day. it was very difficult to talk to any of them, although they seemed to be having fun though. i was kind of bothered that i couldn't talk to this girl meaningfully at all anymore at some point, so during that day and the last day of camp i kind of stopped feeling something for her entirely, which was very odd, completely unlike how it usually goes for me.

we played some games, including a quiz. my team won the quiz, but not the other game.

that night most of my acquaintances were absent for the first part. the sweet autistic metalhead i met earlier had gone to her one-person bedroom to decompress, the three from the start were apparently on a walk that i couldn't safely participate in, the others were fuck knows where. i was in a really, really bad mood. i knew that speed would solve all my problems, allow me to join the dance party going on. instead i wasted away on a couch for a while.

then there was dinner, and then an awards show. two games won (the beer game counted) meant i was called in front twice and won a shot of hard liquor as a price, thus twice in a row. very convenient for my fealty to fitness, but at least nice.

afterwards, a number of friends were periodically back on the dance floor in shifts, and the shots were doing their job. the nice thing about shots is that they mean you don't constantly have to piss as with beer, so they made a nice base for the rest of my consumption that night.

i found my new favorite pop song dancing with the girl who i have a particular unbreakable fealty to— that resultant from me breaking down in her arms about a girl not liking me back earlier that year lol

that girl would eventually do some things to me that would present one of the main causes of me at times completely turning inwards and become unable to talk to people, simply looking on and knowing my humanity has been taken away from me by many people.

but right there, dancing, knowing i was surrounded by people who care about me even if i am nothing like then, i was doing just fine, despite having quietly had a mental breakdown on that couch where everything at once played up.

eventually the music selection turned to shit and i decided to do the smart thing and have six hours of sleep instead of two. some sweet angels made sure to coax me into drinking lots of water.

"you'll be grateful in the morning."

a decent night, minus the transmisogynist components of some sketch one of the members of the previous committee did. i'll talk to her about it soon and i'm confident she'll understand how it was hurtful— i had a drunk conversation with two other girls in the restroom about it and they were fully behind me and encouraged me to do this.

the next morning almost everyone was still drinking, despite the fact that most of the day we would just spend in a bus bringing us back from the middle of nowhere.

at some point i sat down on a couch and for the first time in days, took out my ear buds and listened to some music i like.

it was cathartic and i had a particular kind of realisation.

i had spent an entire alcohol getting fucked up to music i could only tolerate there and then, under bright lights and with accompanying alcohol. drinking the kind of alcohol i don't like drinking because it's what was available, hanging out mostly with people with whom i have very little in common. in general, kind of losing myself.

i knew what i needed to do, what i can do soon. all i need to do is get out of this house to a better place, get my painting station set up, keep being involved in the roller derby, and maybe somewhere along the lines i would figure stuff out for myself.

of course, there are certain social circumstances that need to happen to me too, but i certainly can't do that while inert.

i had skipped the derby's general member's meeting on friday. it was the only one of the year, and i really wanted to attend. they were discussing attendance policies, and i feel i could've really learned a lot about the members of the league from that. debates about derby as its own reward and assuming the inherent joy of cooperation versus a dedication to structured sustained development and competitivity, or any of the ways one could frame that.

i had missed a training, when i had immediate short-term goals that i could have fulfilled that training.

the other rookies like me, and so does the trainer. not because of my ability to chug alcohol really fast — although i intend to impress them at the party we apparently have soon — but because of my dedictation, fervor, and general attitude.

maybe there is a common source to the fact that i can dance better than i can talk and that i feel i'm more meaningfully together with people when i'm on wheels than when i'm not, generally speaking at least.

it feels like there's a rift between me and the rest of humanity, but a little less on the track than most other places.

but then speed also helps.

it helps everything. it makes me feel happy.

but i know i can't actually take this as often as i would need without fucking myself up. still, on our way back, alienated and exhausted, i was constantly craving it.

when we got out of the bus and a people hugged me goodbye, i did meditate for a bit on the fact that i did create many new bonds. maybe i'll get more out of them than i felt by the last day, but it's complicated.

and now i'm at friends who fed me and gave me weed to finally fucking calm down. it's all right.

i miss my friends in london who i feel separated from only by distance.

[sole-cuore-amore-e-droga]

Tel Aviv 2019: Straight outta Slovenia to Eurovision with a dreamy couple

Oh boi, now here comes another NF I wasn’t interested in. I don’t hate EMA as a thing, it’s just that it’s infamous for not listening to what people want most of the time, often axing their faves (BQL, Raiven, Nika Zorjan, even going as far back as Saša Lendero and Nina Pušlar...). This year it seemed like Raiven finally had what it takes with her post-dubstep-era dubstep tune, “Kaos”. BUT did she go? Oh nope

Instead we got possibly the best thing that ever happened to Slovenia. That thing is this one entry sung by a cute crossover of Lorde and that trombone fetus thing from Courage the Cowardly Dog (well, at least she looks better than him, hence why ‘cute’), Zala Kralj, and she has her 2-year-long partner Gašper Šantl by her side too, to make up the musical part for the couple’s Eurovision 2019 entry for Slovenia, “Sebi”.

Let’s start reviewing this by complimenting its atmosphere. It’s cosmic. It’s pure. It’s pleasant. I feel like I’m floating among the stars... in the same way as if someone is projecting a star backdrop on a wall and I’m just against the projection, dancing silly. I feel like I’m covered in stardust. This is achieved by the composition of the song, which is very melodic, although a bit background-music-like. It incorporates a lot of those softened hi-hats, soaring synth waves and harmonious additional backing vocals (I think I heard those? whatever that was that adds more depth and gorgeousness to the song...). The lyrics are also cute, the poetry here is pretty fascinating, and I love the hints of intimacy and nature. The chorus reminds me that you have to stay true to what you are and who you stand for, and you don’t need to apologize for being different. Something along the lines of this. And Zala sounds like a person that could do a vocal ASMR therapy - and I imagine that as something that gives tingles to my neck everytime I hear it. You just need to strip the melody away and let me listen to more of those silent, soft-spoken, eerie whispers, and usually I feel creeped out and want it to stop, but at the same time it’s seducing and oddly enough I want some more.

This song has its faults though - it’s supposedly the song being repetitive (look at that chorus’ lyrics, just repeating 3 lines during it doesn’t really suffice, especially with the song being composed like THAT), Zala’s vocals being so hauntingly chill they even sound too calming or too monotonous, and this song is a simple electronic track with it just flowing all so well? Like, it’s something you’d find more on an unknown project’s Bandcamp page and that project usually has 1500 views or so on their videos. It’s a soothing ocean, it’s a galaxy, but sometimes the silence overwhelms you too much you just want to fucking scream... or fall asleep and miss the beauty of it all.

So as a whole it’s a stellar ride through galaxies and supernovas: the song. Great production, slight lo-fi vibe (idk how to explain it but everything here feels so... hmm... soft tune and quiet vocals make it to be something of the more indie-er side of a lower-cost production I suppose?) and sparks of pure bliss raining down on me whenever I remember or hear it. Truly, truly some indie goodness.

The most interesting part? The guys seem too overwhelmed about their Eurovision experience! Sure, Eurovision doesn’t require a too-laidback approach from the participants, but there always are Eurovision non-enthusiasts (seriously, don’t yell at Eurovision participants on Youtube comments when they fail to recognize a language of a song’s from a previous year! Just because they didn’t hear it and/or forgot the language, doesn’t mean they need to be put at stake), or those who just didn’t expect to win their NFs and then are like “shit um now I need to do something about that Eurovision thing I guess”. Salvador never really watched it before, AWS didn’t really hope to participate in Eurovision at the early stages of their NF, now we don’t really hear much Eurovision news and shit from these two Slovenians... well except of them releasing a shortened version of their song so it could comply to Eurovision’s lenght rules (giving it an apt sub title - “Dare to Dream Version”), declaring that one line of the song’s will be sung in English so that everyone not speaking in Slovenian could understand it better (just like Lea sang the end of “Hvala, ne!” in Portuguese because... well we all understand either of them, do we? lol) and that their staging will be similar to the one they had in EMA, and that their stage clothes won’t be the same but of a similar light color. They do have Eurovision in mind, but not quite as much as some other participants, and that’s perfectly fine. As long as they do their job right, that matters.

Approval factor: I may let you in on a little secret here - this is, in fact, my absolute favourite Slovenian entry this decade, if not overall. I have a hard time approving Slovenian entries because they end up lacking something at the end. This one... kinda fits in well with me, so Zala and Gašper did enough of THAT to warrant a big fat thumbs up for me.

Follow-up factor: Wasn't a big fan of Lea's song, BUT I can confirm that she started something good for Slovenia in Eurovision, especially after qualifying. And the couple certainly continued it, so it moves on well! ^^

Qualification factor: Now that's an interesting question... I might be wrong but a part of me fears for them to become the fan favourite duo/couple with a really pretty song that doesn’t qualify, like it already happened to Norma John and ZiBBZ before. They even have been drawn to semifinal 1, ffs. But maybe there’s still a spark of hope somewhere for the two, and I’d be inclined to believe that there is. I don’t wanna see sLOVEnia flop on the year I like their song, ffs. So I’m seeing a borderline result for thee, you the nation of usually fairly-underrated songs. Maybe this cosmic sea beauty will be in them finals.

NATIONAL FINAL BONUS

So, EMA 2019, eh? I guess that was a thing that happened. I at least admire the fact that they used dancing robots for their “not-so-postcards-but-postcards” that played before each performance (I mean, you’d get camera shots of the stage being set up for the act to perform next with their info graphic in the NF’s LED background and next to it there was a re-creation of The Creation of Adam with the other hand being one of a robot’s <3, then cut to EMA’s visual design of the year and the dancing robot person, another shot to the performing act, and then lights out). They had a good time there. And there was a duet singing Salvador Sobral’s ESC winning song, one of them performed by a person who had to be Salvador for a TV show. Ah, fun. I wasn’t all in up for the she-bang (instead I watched A Dal Semi 2 and Supernoval final on that night), but I got some other goodies that I noticed that people noticed before me, for y’all to reminisce. Here are some moments and some songs that lost to this lovely pair:

• So what’s the deal with Raiven, anyway? She’s on the show for her third time, and has already firmly grasped onto the iconic NF partaker’s status, together with.. well... other NF 3-timers (that are mostly from Sweden). This time she went all her way out to prove y’all that “dubstep’s not dead in 2019!!!1″ with her song, “Cows” “Kaos”, and a rather interesting effect show taking place on her face. I don’t know why but Raiven’s and Aly Ryan’s from Germany stagings remind me of each other, maybe because of them being so interesting? Anyway, like as usually, this multicolored songstress failed to grasp the victory of her country’s national final, and honestly, good for that to happen because in my irrelevant opinion, the dubstep in “Kaos” is ridiculously unnecessary and it doesn’t make the song flow very well. Just rework the chorus to make it more suited to the song and maybe it could have worked, as the last 30 seconds and the verses actually rock! I love me some songs that make me feel like I’m listening to sunset transcribed to actual melodies and sounds.

• The 2015 entrant couple, Raay and Marjetka, are incredibly restless for some reason, and it’s that because they have co-written quite a few songs over the past few years even since their eventual victory as themselves in 2015. Maybe they’re the Slovenian Stig Rästa, probably as in “we loved the Eurovision green room experience so we always want some more!” kind of way. This year they did 2 songs: an electro-swing inspired number about Fridays and “spending some quality time with one’s girls” for the Slovene JESC debutee Ula Ložar and a radio-pop-esque track for a lady named Kim (not Verson). The one that I gravitated towards more will have its video down below and it is probably obvious a bit now. And if it was my will, I’d’ve replaced Raiven with the below lady in the superfinal because... frankly, yet again, I’ll restate that imo it wasn’t Raiven’s year even without the eventual winners having participated...

• For a country of whose NF’s I didn’t seem to care about, they indeed had quite a few nice numbers. I already shed my thoughts on 2 of them, now here’s another one. Somehow, most countries out there shied away from having rock songs (well except Hungary because I don’t really see any other NF with more than 3 of those clearly audible rock/metal tracks, maybe has to do with the fact they already sent one last year), and as a result, none of the actually submitted ones won because things didn’t really go well with even the slightest rock-sounding songs last year (except one of them almost got into top 10). So one of the rock gems we happened to lose came from Slovenia. INMATE brought the 00s American alt-rock sound that was popular with uncomfortable teens that acted outrageous with their song “Atma” (which somehow means “soul”??). And man they were banging.

• There’s not much I want to say about the rest of the NF’s gems that you missed. Well, there was one song about horses that is considerably well-received by the fandom, perhaps because of the slow and relaxing ballad sound that surrounds it (but they don’t know the lyrics enough to start hating it). And a song co-written by last year’s Svenskfloppen winner that, as he was destined to, flopped in Melodifestivalen as well. And a decent club track that was actually one of my other favourites, together with “Atma”. And some 00s teen sitcom theme song performed by a completely-careless-about-their-image-band (they call themselves Lumberjack but they dress nothing like ‘em, I assure you) with chill-surfer-attitude-bearing, long-haired lead singer. They brought in a nice vibe at least with their color-splashing LED images and slightly energetic performance. And like I said about how the lead singer looked... well just look at him and try to not see him as a troublemaker teen archetype from a high school rom com or at least irl that can’t score a date:

Damn, Manel Navarro really let himself go.

• Lea Sirk, besides performing the ESC winning song from two years ago in a duet with someone, and obviously re-appearing to be a honourable guest after having won EMA last year after like 4-5 tries, also served her part as a jury member. Y’know, one of those people that maybe visibly or not visibly tried to push Raiven to her eventual EMA win after her 3 tries so that she wouldn’t become an annoying NF hogger for years on end. Well that didn’t happen because the televoters went for the Zalšper couple! You gotta love it when the teleaudience picks that song for Eurovision that is performed by those that didn’t specifically submit it because they wanted Eurovision, right? Well apparently, Lea took the loss of Raiven as a small stab to her heart and was heard complaining about the unexpected outcome (simply not being able to believe Raiven lost), out loud, to the viewing audiences at home and in front of computer screens. Yep, THAT happened... And I couldn’t be bothered to find a clip of it anymore, so instead I’ll post some pictures of a visibly shook Lea with her new hairdye on fleek (I guess that was to reflect Raiven’s love for hair dye?):

noooo why do I have to give a trophy to those whom I did not support to win... well fine I will

With all that out of the way, I just really hope for this lovey-dovey duo all the best possible with having to carry the responsibility of representing a country in a very big European music competition on their shoulders. They aren’t seemingly stressed out themselves from the looks of it (if they were in a Brantsteele’s Hunger Games simulation, they’d be those people who’d pick flowers all the time), but you know what happens when you’re given such a big honour but you let what the honour stands for down, upsetting the others who look up to the honour somehow. Terrible, terrible things. Hope the haters don’t grind these two down if anything happens. Srečno!

[vskpop]

My 30 favourite songs of 2018

YouTube playlist ⋅ Spotify playlist

30. Heroine – Sunmi

I hesitate to call Sunmi feminist – does she consider herself one? Can k-pop really be feminist? – but her matter-of-factly, eyes-wide-open songs that touch on the position of women in relationships and in society are the closest thing to genuine female empowerment I’ve seen in k-pop. It doesn’t hurt that every single one of her songs is amazing.

29. Bboom Bboom – Momoland

Considering I usually hate “viral” songs – I’ve been brainwashed to like Gangnam Style just recently – I’m still shocked at how much I love Momoland’s Bboom Bboom. I’m also proud to say that I was an early adopter of the song, and watching their success skyrocket made my Q1. I’m still not tired of the sax line and of the “GREAT!” shouted during performances. This song (and Momoland, really) is just irresistible.

28. Retro Future – Triple H

The last ever song by Triple H (anger abounds) is just a taste of the genre-bending, sound-mixing, absurd-lyric-writing that we could have gotten for many years. Their retro-future has nothing to do with the Jetsons, and much more with insane 80’s synths and, well, that sexy vibe.

27. Love Shot – EXO

Well, EXO, that was last minute. My ambivalence towards EXO is represented by this song, which I both find ridiculous and adore at the same time. This song’s luscious synths and layered vocals make it elegant, then the performance makes it kitsch. I don’t know if I’ve been brainwashed, but it’s so great.

Other songs of note: Electric Kiss – Tempo – Gravity

26. Not That Type – Gugudan

A thousand times yes for Gugudan doing edgier concepts. Not That Type is the spiritual successor to A Girl Like Me, and it’s almost as good. This song, however, is even tougher and more explosive. The new 8-member Gugudan is off to a great start.

Other songs of note: The Boots – Shotgun

25. Beautiful Feeling – Day6

Yet again, it’s my special skill to ignore all the popular songs that a group has, and in this case the rock vibe that defines it, and pick the sweetest, mellowest song they’ve put out. Day6 make some amazing power ballads, and Beautiful Feeling gives me warm and fuzzy feelings every time I listen to it.

Other songs of note: Days Gone By – Headache – Shoot Me – Somehow

24. Dinner – Suho ft. Jane Jang

I don’t know how the powers that be decided that this duet should happen, but the result is everything. Jane Jang’s one-of-a-kind voice layers beautifully over Suho’s, who ended up being often overlooked as an EXO vocalist for all these years.

23. Remember Me – Oh My Girl

Every single Oh My Girl put out is juicy in its on way. They may always go back to their foundational dreamy pop, but they never fail to throw in a twist. Remember Me’s EDM flavour and heavy rap are a total change from Secret Garden, but the song still blossoms into a romantic, airy chorus, and all of the members find something to sink their teeth into.

Other songs of note: Secret Garden – Magic – Love O’Clock

22. La Vie en Rose – IZ*ONE

My resolve to ignore the existence of IZ*ONE (and survival show groups in general) faded at the first two octaves of La Vie En Rose. This song does so much with so little: the atmosphere it creates, and the contrast between the powerful pre-chorus and the understated chorus are what makes the song for me. In the meantime I’ve started to learn their names, so I’m doomed.

21. I Want You – SHINee

SHINee’s constant stream of releases this year is at the same time a new beginning and the beginning of the end. It’s hard to imagine that a whole year has passed since Jonghyun, and it’s hard to think that the group has survived even though these songs are concrete proof. I really struggled to make it through the more melancholy songs, so I picked I Want You out of a series of basically perfect tracks.

Other songs of note: Good Evening – Chemistry – Electric – Who Waits For Love – Countless – Our Page

20. LATATA – (G)I-DLE

I would be surprised if there was a single Boombayah lover who didn’t love this song. It has the same (pseudo-Indian?) influences, the same rhythms, the same anthemic quality. Latata is catchy, hypnotic, fun, and showcases all the members equally (ok, maybe Soyeon a bit more than everyone else). This is a textbook debut for 2018.

Other songs of note: Maze

19. 1, 2, 3! – Seungri

Here’s someone who usually did club music and for once didn’t, and I loved it anyway! 1,2,3!  is retro, guitar-led and much more lighthearted than anything Seungri has ever done. It’s lovely to see a less sultry (and a biiiiit slimy?) side of him. Also Anda.

Other songs of note: Hotline – Where Are You From

18. 22 Century Girl – fromis_9

I feel that my obsession with fromis_9 is still at its earliest stage, and that by the end of 2019 I will have gone totally mad for them. I am in love with their singles – To Heart, Love Bomb, what instant classics! – but the whirlwind of sounds of fever dream 22 Century Girl have stolen my heart.

Other songs of note: To Heart – Love Bomb

17. Blue Moon – Gyeong Ree

Another one for the theme of this list: house! Give me all of it in your pop songs! Here’s hoping that Gyeong Ree (wasn’t it easier when she spelled it Kyungri? Anyway) continues her solo career with such intriguing, sophisticated but super-fun songs.

16. Stay Here – Sojung

I don’t know exactly, but I cry my eyes out more often than not when I hear this song. Ladies’ Code’s Sojung’s voce is as light as a feather, until it explodes in the soaring chorus. Everybody knows that I love any power ballad, but the complex emotional balance of this one is just on another level.  

15. Now or Never – SF9

I can’t say I’ve been following SF9 as idols, but I have been listening to all their releases and they have given me nothing but quality. I know I complain about songs with drops, but the deep house (yep, again) and that sensual “jealous” have been killing me ever since they came into my life. It might be my favourite hook of 2018.

14. I Love You – EXID

I was a bit taken aback by EXID’s Lady earlier in the year, but it was love at first listen with I Love You. The distorted hook opens and holds together a song that has all the best of EXID, including Solji, who has returned stronger than ever with flawless vocals and zero shame.

Other songs of note: Lady

13. Dejavu – NU'EST W

You guessed it – house. Nothing has given me as much joy as the rise of NU’EST W, and I’ve been even happier because they did it with superb, incredibly on-trend songs while retaining the dark charm of their pre-success material. They really leaned into the “sexy bandit” thing, and I’m all for it.

Other songs of note: YlenoL – Shadow – Feels – Help Me

12. Oh! My mistake – APRIL

This song is fluffy and super-poppy and at the same time side-eye in music, if that was ever possible. The super-innocent and cute concept that APRIL have been doing since forever is now tinged with tongue-in-cheek sarcasm, and a little creepy synth that perfectly matches the theme of the track. It’s so addictive and so delicious.

Other songs of note: Oh-e-Oh – BEEP

11. Snapshot – IN2IT

I love when smaller groups do really, really great and out of the box stuff instead of copying their more successful peers. I’ve watched countless performances, entranced by the bass that opens the song, holding my breath for that “heartbeat go fast, heartbeat go slow”. This is one sexy song, and IN2IT are one good rookie group that I will keep my eye on.

10. Timeless – NCT U

Leave it to me to find the most niche release a super-popular group has had, and fall in love with it so deeply that the rest (most of which I hated, not sorry) doesn’t count. NCT are too big of a group with some really, really good singers hiding in the back line while the rappers swagger about. I loved that some of them got their chance to show off and I adore this poetic, heartbreaking song.

Other songs of note: Boss – Baby Don’t Stop – Replay (PM 01:27)

9. Shine – Pentagon

I have to wonder if this song would have been higher in my charts if it wasn’t for the bloodbath that was of Pentagon and their career after this song came out. It’s such a pity that such a feelgood song has become, well, not so feelgood. This song’s wonky piano riff and anthemic chorus are still a delight, and their personality really shines (LOL) through. OT10 forever.

Other songs of note: Off-road

8. The Grand Dreams – Minseo

Where did Minseo even come from? Why hasn’t she been here our entire lives? Her dreamy vocals have been giving me life this year, and her refined musical sense (or of her producers, really) is a breath of fresh air when everything gets a bit to same-y in k-pop.

Other songs of note: Is Who

7. One of Those Nights – Key ft. Crush

Key came in last minute and slapped us all in the face with a perfect album that is reminiscing of SHINee’s work from earlier in the year, but also shows his personality as an artist. The lead single One of Those Nights moves fast and interweaves the melancholy of the lyrics in the music. Both Key and Crush are shockingly good vocalists, but together they just make each other shine even more.

6. Allegro Cantabile – Nature

Random music terms / Italian? I had to check it out. Nature put out something that’s a musical number, j-pop anime opening and k-pop bubblegum all in one. Their vocals are amazing and they are adorable. I’m excited to follow them into 2019.

5. DDU-DU DDU-DU – BLACKPINK

Is this Blackpink’s best offering? No. But what does it say when your not-best is still miles ahead of the competition? Blackpink have been doing k-pop bangers better than anyone else, and DDU-DU DDU-DU, from Jennie’s spitfire rap to Rosé’s melodies, hits all the right spots (like a ddu-du ddu-du).

Other songs of note: See U Later

4. Puzzle Moon – GWSN

This song is so good. These girls are so good. As I put together this list, I realised how much all I wanted in 2018 was a good deep house sample, and GWSN delivered. The bass contrasts elegantly with the tiny voices, and the obscure chorus – “make it moon” – emphasizes the magical atmosphere of this song.

3. Air – Winner

I miss old Winner. New Winner’s YOLO swag annoys me at best, so I dig through their b-sides in search for what we lost when Taehyun left. Air’s appropriately breathy chorus and gentle, romantic atmosphere did it for me and managed to put Winner on my podium yet again. Good job, Winner. Now stop it with the tropical house.

Other songs of note: We Were – Movie Star – Raining – Have A Good Day

2. KILLING ME – iKON

The year started well for me (and everyone else) and iKON with Love Scenario, but I had no idea of where it would bring us. Killing Me’s bitter, moody atmosphere made for the dance song of my dreams. The decisive beat and array of distortions somehow create an eerie, understated atmosphere. It’s a dance song, but make it sad and a little creepy.

Other songs of note: Love Scenario – Rubber Band – Beautiful – Perfect – Freedom – Don't Let Me Know

1. Oh My – Monsta X

I know. I am annoying myself by picking a b-side as my favourite song of the year, but here we are. Monsta X have become one of my very favourite groups and, while their album songs have always been amazing, to me Oh My summarizes everything I love and everything I want from them. In a year of minimalism, it’s loud, larger than life, unafraid of bleeps and bloops, rich in both vocals (Kihyun!) and proper rap sections. It’s the powerhouse that I expect from them and I hope to hear again and again.

Other songs of note: Jealousy – Destroyer – Fallin' – Spotlight