#me casually working my hyperfixations into every aspect of my life

[sharkpheus]

Agent 8 grad cap!!

Agent 8 grad cap!!

[lieblxng]

im developing a lot of aus including the reverse au which is currently only available for rose, but leon also has it developed, i just forgot to put it in the verses page for him haha but wow im developing a reverse verse for a chara i dont have??? i might as well throw damos on the blog and be the only person in the pkmn rpc who plays him LMAO i cant help falling for obscure characters but i think he might have a better chance in getting interactions than my etrian odyssey muses but no if anyone wants to do damos,,,,you can hmu 😳😳 i cant reply it or see it if you do tho LMAOO

anyway reverse!damos here who goes by lazarus (meaning: my god has aided me) is not a nice farmer unlike his normal verse, instead being akin to a mercenary, but he kinda fills in the role of marcus - he has the ability to manipulate the hearts of pokemon, even legendaries and because of this, he’s been fiddling with legendaries and experimenting with things to try something out - and while reverse!arceus has been severely weakened from an intense fight or a meteorite too (im still figuring it out) and lost its life plates, lazarus finds it. it’s on the brink of dying, and instead of returning the plates like a nice person, lazarus only thinks of profit and benefitting himself - because it’s so vulnerable, it manipulates reverse!phae into summoning the lake guardians, where it promptly fights them and steals their gems before kicking them into the dirt. then he uses said gems to restraint and fully take control of reverse!phae before inserting the plates back into it, saying it will only get them back if it corporates. yes, lazarus literally pulls a cyrus being the first one to actually create a draft of the red chains to have arceus under its command. one of cyrus’ pc posts is “According to myths, the Pokémon created Sinnoh with its power. However, capturing the Pokémon with a Poké Ball prevents it from using its full power... But with the Red Chain, the Pokémon can be shackled, and its power can be used without restraint...” and he’s implying arceus with the first mention of pokemon, so maybe the red chains can be used on god??? i dont see why not, although the lake guardian was made more to check the creation trio than god itself, but why wouldn’t you have checks against god? “The Pokémon of the lakes and Mt. Coronet are somehow connected. Capturing the Pokémon of the lakes will free the Pokémon of Mt. Coronet. From the Pokémon of the lakes, crystals can be extracted to create a Red Chain.” i know he implies the creation trio with pkmn of mt. coronet but technically arceus lives in mt. coronet as the hall of origins can be summoned there LEMME HAVE THIS - 

originally i was going to have reverse!arceus be a completely neutral god, both in personality and how it handled things - just create life, casually, and just head out and do nothing for them - “the humans can handle their planet however they wish to. if they destroy it, they destroy it.” and i was trying to redesign it and it kept coming up as punk (more below because this is a long ass post)

so i was like, aight i guess i’ll go with what my heart wants but something still didnt feel right, because punk is an expression more than just a simple fashion statement - it was created to rebel against those who tried to hold you down and mold you into who they wanted you to be. to defy the shitty standards of what’s supposedly normal. and then it all clicked when i looked at this vid 

ive heard the music itself and one of my favs, but not the music video so i kinda just exploded with ideas and it really completed the punk i wanted to go with - funny thing, im a bad character designer so i scrapped the punk look and pulled a unique thing with phae’s case - legendaries and mythics are statements of unchanging, fixated ways while normal, evolvable pokemon are statements of improvement and change - growth, which is something phae is completely jealous of. gods don’t evolve; they don’t change. so i thought, why not keep its original look (i love it too much anyway and i cant think of anything better tbh for phae) to reflect that aspect but have the way it governs and behaves different? normal!phae and reverse!phae are still similar but opposite - normal being the kind, caring god and reverse being the relentless, uncaring god. both are the two most popular aspects and themes of gods and how they treat those beneath them, so i thought it worked.

reverse!phae never wanted to be a god. it’s immature and uncaring on purpose to get the attention of the creator of the original one itself; to be a sign of rebel, to show that it was its own character and no one can morph it into what they want it to be. it revels in its creations screaming in pain, as nothing else entertains it so and because it empathizes with them. it sends the world into pure chaos a majority of time so no one enjoys living. seeing its creations, both human and pokemon, excel in the trials and tribulations of this hell; seeing them perform so expertly under extreme stress, how humans and pokemon can come together and defeat anythin - and rebelling in their own right and way give reverse!phae so much hope and relief. that it’ll be able to do the same. and once reverse!phae does get its creators attention, you bet it’s gonna be very angry on why it exists. it might even try to murk its creator. it’s more of a “i didn’t ask to be born so i’m gonna make it your problem” type of person, and a god prone to violence - often fighting with its own creations, like even the lake trio and the creation trio. but it checks them all every time, and it’s so hungry for an actual fight that reverse!phae can actually work for and struggle for and feel like it actually won. and that’s when lazarus comes in. that’s where lazarus comes in.

how much it hates lazarus. how much it hates lazarus. it hates everyone, but lazarus has a special kind of hatred reserved just for him. in fact, hatred isn’t the proper word to explain the intense, raw, unfiltered feelings reverse!phae has for him. on one hand, it absolutely respects the honest work he puts in to further himself, but on the other hand, being the one on the receiving end of his malicious intentions is never ideal. it has no interest in whatever petty crimes he wants to commit, but trying to take god and become it yourself? completely admirable. a fantastic way to rebel, but having to have someone chain you down and control you? reverse!phae’s worst nightmare. i’ll get into that later since this is already long enough god help me

is reverse!phae messed up? yes, severely. that’s kinda what happens when you rot alone in the depths of dark space for eons. no human nor pokemon - no, no living being can ever handle that. both normal! and reverse!phae have the same backstory, but different reactions to it. reverse!phae wants everyone to scream and lash out, it wants everyone to rebel against their origins and become their own people, even with the immense baggage on their shoulders. it wants everyone to risk death to accomplish their dreams. it laughs in everyone's faces before spitting in them. i think reverse!phae will be one of my most violent takes on a muse, if not, my most since it is god and the shit it talks can easily be proven right. it constantly berates and breaks people down into pieces. no one understands it. it hates everyone and everything it sees. it doesn’t need love and kindness, it just needs a body to break. which is untrue, because obviously its yearning for love and kindness - something its never experienced - and it’s lashing out for attention. secretly hoping someone will just hug it and all its problems away. that everything will be okay in the grand scheme of things. that it won’t have to have the unlimited stress of being a god anymore.

usually when i put my touch on muses, canon or not, they’re primarily good people with hearts of gold. even with ones less so, they’re not as intense as this. so working with that kind of character is thrilling and i’m excited to see if i can get anyone interested with it lmao- reverse!phae’s name might be nou or chali, what would be better? sorry this was such a long post!! i’ve been working on this since last night and it’s been really fun to develop like this again - i only get this kind of productive with my hyperfixations, so they’re both a blessing and a curse -  i think this is everything i have rn for the reverse au but ii’ll be going back into it

[redandfranticfeelings]

okay ive been wanting to make a post like this for a while but i wanted to make it an essay and i dont know if i can really organize my thoughts in that way yet, so here’s a chronological bullet-pointed dump to explain my very important thesis:

be more chill is about internalized ableism, and jeremy, michael, and christine are all highly autistic coded. this is going to be very long and detailed but only because there’s a lot of details that work very well under this lens.

there’s probably even stuff i missed but this is already extremely long so it basically just functions as a way for me to collect a bunch of details that i can piece together later in a more coherent manner.

“more than survive” in the context of jeremy being autistic works so much. the theme of wanting to be just socially acceptable enough to not burn out or be harassed is so relatable, and it visually establishes very early how jeremy is isolated from his peers due to his own awkward behavior and hypersensitivity. it’s coupled with his very obvious anxiety disorder, but the social aspect just screams autistic coding to me. i take this song to basically be “not having a meltdown is basically my goal but i would love to be neurotypical enough so i can heighten my standards and actually enjoy my social life.” some choice segments:

“if i’m not feeling weird or super strange, my life would be in utter disarray, cuz freaking out is my okay”

jeremy’s house being a mess is partly due to his dad’s serious depression, yeah, but i believe the other aspect is that jeremy’s executive dysfunction makes it just as hard to clean up in his place

he gets super anxious at the prospect of his expected routine being shaken up and having to make the decision on his own of how to get to school

“so i follow my own rules and i use them as my tools to stay alive” honestly sounds like a euphemism for autism to me

jeremy not really realizing that he’s staring at chloe

“avoiding any eye contact at all” explains itself

michael’s introduction, oh my god, every time i watch this part i just adore it. i could talk a lot more about michael’s autism later but this whole segment sells it especially.

first off, michael keeping his hood up and headphones on in a deliberate attempt to avoid social interaction and stay in his own space is such an autistic mood. even before this scene he’s constantly moving in the background to his music a la stimming. in the later performances he spends a lot more time playing with his hoodie strings and even chews on them!!

the fact he doesn’t talk to or even really look at jeremy until his song is done playing also feels very autistic to me! and the way he dances so confidently and basically pretends even his best friend isn’t there for the time being because he’s engrossed in his own passions.

michael is a great friend but it’s clear that he doesn’t really understand that his coping mechanism doesn’t really work for jeremy, and that even though michael feels confident reclaiming his identity as a ‘loser,’ jeremy doesn’t really feel any better about it. i think a lot of autistic folks, or at least i do, have this tendency to assume what works for us works for everyone around us at first due to our struggles with empathy. michael tries his best but struggles to see outside his point of view. it’s mind-blindness in action and jeremy can’t communicate why it upsets him any better than michael can pick up on it not working for him.

near the end of the song, they have a brief moment where all the ensemble crowds in around jeremy and the lights start flashing, which i interpret as a visual representation of sensory overload.

we’ll talk more about her soon, but outside of jeremy’s fantasies about her, christine also avoids social interaction during this number, constantly hiding her face in a book and avoiding eye contact just as much as jeremy. people forget that she’s not comfortable with unexpected social interaction, and that really informs my headcanon for her which brings us to....

“i love play rehearsal” is an autistic anthem. it also works, possibly even better due to in-text evidence, as an adhd anthem, but combined with the above it makes so much sense for her to be comorbid autism/adhd. i did a breakdown of the song in this context before, but i’ll sum it up here

the song showcases what having a special interest/hyperfixation is like. christine is singing to jeremy, yes, but she really seems so caught up in her own passion without much regard for how jeremy is following it, and even cuts him off from responding to her once or twice because she’s just so hyped up on her own feelings. she also basically implies her happiness is reliant on her special interest which is very relatable.

lines like “you follow a script so you know what comes next” also really sell the interpretation that christine isn’t good in unpredictable situations, and has so many identity issues and likes having something to look to where things are laid out for her. i think that stability is what a lot of autistic people look for, especially teenagers.

also with that in mind, look at how upset she gets watching a play she loves about get rewritten into something weird and new that she doesn’t know.

also gotta love how she still self-isolates before this song by focusing on her book, until she has a reason to infodump to jeremy. and then feels guilty afterwards and goes right back into her book while apologizing for getting “carried away”....biiiig mood there

the whole intro scene showcases both of their awkwardness so much. jeremy gets completely thrown off by her sarcastic comment about the swim team and almost believes it, which implies that he can’t read tone very well. and then christine’s “you’re a virgin” comment comes across like she really didn’t think about how that would sound to jeremy before saying it since she only made the clarification after he was ready to panic about it. she has a habit of speaking before she thinks, i think, the self-harm comment is also very awkward considering she barely knows jeremy.

after that scene we get “more than survive reprise” where jeremy admits to routinely having such bad breakdowns that he needs to step out and go to the nurse which works for both the anxiety disorder and the autism interpretation.

i’m not quite sure whether i see rich as autistic (i see him with a lot of mental issues for sure though) so i can’t say much on “the squip song” but there’s definitely something to describing a confused autistic kid as “almost helpless.” rich definitely has a habit of giving too much information though, i’ll say that.

“two player game” is just jeremy and michael being autistic solidarity: the song. i guess this is a good place to say that jeremy and michael work well as a contrast b/w two sides of autistic community, the side that struggles to function and desperately wants a change bc they’re afraid of being alone forever, and the side that tries to love all their symptoms and embrace their autistic pride. and as coincidental icing on the cake, jeremy wears blue (associated with the derogatory views from autism speaks) and michael wears red (associated with combating said views through autistic pride).

btw you could probably attribute michael’s ability to casually down a long-expired crystal pepsi as a sort of weird sensory quirk. and his fixation w/ that sort of memorabilia honestly feels like a special interest in its own right!

both “nice sideburns....wolverine, right” and “like in x-men????” using fiction as a reference point for real life always gives me autistic vibes (esp the first point where he awkwardly uses it to start conversation). can we assume x-men is a special interest? :3

jake referring to jeremy as a ‘freak’ when the squip turns on is really sad in this context but it also does make so much sense

now we get to the squip.....and what do you know, it uses tactics from abusive therapy used on autistic children. dare i say that “be more chill” as a song isn’t just an abuser’s song, but an ableist’s abuser’s song.

first off, the “spinal stimulation.” here’s a not so fun fact: electroshock therapy has been used to discourage autistic behavior in very recent years. (content warning in link for graphic description of ableist torture)

then the lyrics, in which the squip mostly focuses on jeremy’s posture and physically punishes him for disobeying. jeremy is shown to really struggle to stand up straight and pose himself in a normal, confident way, and i think that tendency to be unaware of what our body is doing is a pretty autistic thing?

the fact the squip singles out stammering and refers to jeremy’s “tics and fidgets” brings attention to two more autistic traits of jeremy’s

the squip basically punishes jeremy for responding “incorrectly” to social situations like rejecting brooke, even if they aren’t objectively wrong. it eventually just starts speaking for jeremy because jeremy seems incapable of acting natural. the squip is an abusive autism parent.

“sync up��� demonstrates jeremy’s weird relationship with empathy. he wants to be nice to everyone- will has even called him “deeply empathetic”- but he’s initially really bad at seeing other people’s point of view, which is why he positions himself as sort of against the world, seeing everyone as better than him or trying to set up these barriers of Coolness where everyone else must be perfect compared to him. he’s so surprised to learn that the popular kids also hurt because of his strict idea of the social structure. it’s a combination of low self esteem and a black-and-white viewpoint.

let’s go back to christine. the squip, already established as ableist abuser, finds her “highly unusual” for acting in a way that disregards everyone who views her. she has very strange and specific visions in her head, and it seems very natural for her even if jeremy struggles to follow along.

in later performances, she chews on her sleeve and spins around during AGTIKBI. that’s stimming, babes. also gotta acknowledge “i don’t always relate to other people my age, except when i’m on the stage”

i’m gonna use this section to talk about jake and christine. christineis a bit unsure when interacting with jake, until he validates her interest- her acting is what really touches him. but jake, while good-hearted, has trouble being self-centered and thus not fully aware of christine’s own needs and space. so christine is always a little uncomfortable around him, especially in public, and not always willing to socialize. he is right about her being kind of stuck in her comfort zone, though, not doing anything off of her stage. and he is genuinely nice to her, it’s just a matter of their social strategies clashing.

the fact that the squip blocks out michael...i’ve had a lot of times in my life where i was told that socializing with other “weird” people would be counterproductive for my social development and it was part of why i was stuck with so few friends. so i really feel the idea that blocking out the person who helps you feel confident in your atypicality is framed as a good thing so you can act more socially adept, and that doing otherwise would just drag you both down.

hot DAMN does “loser geek whatever” make so much sense for an autistic kid with internalized ableism.

“it’s not only school that’s rough, being lonely’s stupid tough” makes it pretty clear this isn’t about the school social scene as muc as it is the entire social scene of the world. we may not see it, but it’s just (not) interacting with people in general that jeremy can’t stand.

“michael says that weird is rad but feeling weird just makes me sad” as stated above, makes a Lot More Sense with the idea that michael is both a more confident autistic and really bad at addressing jeremy’s own internalized ableism and desire to make connections outside his small friend group.

everything about jeremy boiling down all his problems to his “instincts” sucking and needing to basically be told what to do really highlights how autistic kids can feel broken because of their inability to fit into the social norm, to the point where we repress every behavior that actually makes us feel comfortable and unique. 

not to mention the line about him being seen as a “normal handsome guy” since autistic people tend to be infantilized and never seen as desirable (will roland also implied this line has trans coding which is another discussion altogether but i feel i should acknowledge that here)

all of those terms that jeremy calls himself near the end- namely weirdo, misfit, oddball, freak, failure- all of this sounds like the shit people throw at autistic kids. like this goes beyond anxiety alone, this is jeremy being outcasted and oppressed by the general public due to his behavior. especially the “please don’t speak” part, considering how often autistic kids are mocked for misunderstanding when to speak, how to speak, and what to talk about. jeremy needs some freaking love. :(

“michael in the bathroom” is a panic attack, related to severe anxiety, but i do see a lot of aspects that play into autism as well. the little nervous stimmy movements of foot-bouncing and picking at grout, the explosive sensory overload during the “knock knock” section of the bridge, the whole concept of losing the only person you ever managed to connect to without sacrificing who you are, dealing with this massive change to your sense of philosophy and reality where you pinned everything on one person to ground yourself, and thus you’re now completely lost trying to isolate yourself from this big overwhelming social gathering...neurodivergent anthem all around.

jeremy and christine’s couch interactions during halloween give me such autistic positivity. christine basically echolales jeremy’s weird noise and they both have so much fun vocal stimming that they forget there’s another person in the room. it’s such a sweet moment until jeremy ruins it by realizing that asking her out right after a breakup is Not Really Good For Her.

christine’s reaction to the fire demonstrates a clear case of hyperempathy to me. it isn’t discussed as much as a complete lack of empathy, but autistic folks are prone to feeling way too much especially when it comes to others’ pain. christine talking about how she hates that everyone’s hurting and desperately wants to help but doesn’t know how, and how we’ve already seen how much she struggles to connect with others like jake....it’s a very relatable, very specific autistic mood.

going back to the theme of jeremy and empathy, christine’s above hyperempathy kind of breaks this mold, and while jeremy always does feel for the other kids, by this point he feels so strongly- particularly for christine, who he also saw as a perfect confident being until now- that the squip can manipulate him into “fixing” everyone the same way the squip was supposed to “fix” him. and he never considers that christine doesn’t need to be fixed because he just projects his own insecurity that strongly onto everyone else who seems “weird” in the same kind of way- hence why he assumes michael is jealous of him back in MITB. it’s likely a result of the squip’s manipulation but i feel like mind-blindness is a factor, even if jeremy switches between struggling to process others’ emotions and being extremely empathetic.

michael’s special interest saves the day!!! :D

the whole fight b/w jeremy and michael, assuming it comes from a genuine place of repressed bitterness, has a lot of added subtext with them both being autistic. jeremy accusing michael of “giving up” on social interaction, michael envies jeremy for trying bc michael is clearly Not comfortable in most large social settings, jeremy envies michael for his pride, it just hits home for me i guess

rich calling michael “antisocial headphones kid” honestly how is michael not canon autistic

in the off-bway version michael briefly speaks too loud forgetting that jeremy’s head still hurts which is a relatable Forgot About Boundaries thing. plus him smacking rich playfully forgetting that rich is Still In Pain

“voices in my head” works nice as a fuck-societal-norms-and-just-be-happy song. “embrace the traits that make you so odd” in particular :’)

jeremy remembering christine’s infodump about her obscure bowling alley performance art idea and bringing it up to her again!!!

the squip doesn’t go away because ableism and the anxiety it brings and all the upsetting symptoms of autism don’t go away, but with the right support and confidence you can live with them!!! good message for mental disorders in general and works very well in this context!!!

so in conclusion.....be more chill is autistic pride!!!

[asoulofstars]

Random Love (1/?)

I am now starting a series of loving on the people I follow, just because I can. These posts will be made on this blog with appropriate tags, because I want everyone who follows me to see these blogs & be graced with amazing writers.

Today, we are featuring Malakh @seacache. I’ve been writing with Malakh for almost as long as I’ve been roleplaying. He’s an absolute delight, both in character and out of character, and he has played such a wide variety of muses. 

Malakh is one of those partners that will go out of his way to send you things when he knows that you need it, or when he sees a meme that he knows you would love to have people send things in for, or just because he can. 

Malakh balances so many fucking muses in a way that I don’t think I’ll ever be able to, even as I continue to add muses to my multi every time I get a new hyperfixation. 

Malakh’s characters are all so unique and nuanced, and I can fucking hear the canon characters’ voices every fucking time. Malakh is one of those writers that I actively read his threads and replies just because I enjoy his writing, even if he’s not writing with me. 

He also is just such a wonderful person to write with and collaborate with. He remembers details about Riona that he then uses in threads or askbox things that he throws at me. He works with me to find a beautiful common ground between our muses, even when the muses are certainly in no way compatible, like Riona and Frank or Riona and Erik. (And this is not in regards to romantic shipping, which they are also in no way compatible, but like...some of his muses just shouldn’t be part of Riona’s life and are. XD) 

But, like, with romantic shipping, Malakh and I just casually have a poly ship going on with his Kirk, Spock, Bones, an NPC Uhura, and Riona. And I think this half-began because I kept saying ooc about how Riona really wouldn’t be jealous of Kirk’s relationships with Spock & Bones in particular and would probably call them her boyfriend’s boyfriends. 

But, like, Malakh’s also just a fucking delight out of character. He’s so damn easy to talk to, and I know that I can always just go in and yell about whatever is on my mind, which is really nice, because sometimes I just have to yell and get it out of my head. 

And he knows that he can do the same thing. I don’t know if we’ve ever started a conversation in a normal way once we began communicating consistently; we mostly just show up on Discord kind of !!!!!!! about something. 

So, seriously, if you want to follow an amazing writer who thinks about every aspect of his characters, who doesn’t romanticize things, who writes people and not just tropes, then you should follow Malakh. He truly is a blessing, and I don’t know if Riona & I would still be around without him.

[the-ghost-of-jason-todd]

i’m enjoying voltron more as a casual fan than i did when it was my hyperfixation.  never thought that would be how it worked out, but here we are.  focusing all my free time on every aspect of voltron and the fandom was ultimately unpleasant--stepping back to enjoy the show at my own pace and ignoring everyone’s goddamn opinions is oddly peaceful.  there was something ruthless about the front lines of the fandom that set my teeth on edge.  i never fully relaxed, honestly.

i was pretty afraid for a bit there that the anti/anti-anti divide was going to gape open and swallow me whole and i’d never be able to look at voltron without my problematic goggles on.  i thought i’d never escape that sinking feeling of liking something that antis deemed a problem.  you know what i mean?  that ‘if you were a good person you’d NEVER even THINK of enjoying x problematic character/trope/ship’ rhetoric that’s designed to punch people in the gut with shame and guilt... it permeates fandom spaces and it hurts so much to face that constantly.  it was like mental flagellation, lmfao.  for every impure ship you look at uncritically you receive a strike, and you only need one strike to get blacklisted from decent-sized parts of the fandom/put on a blocklist somewhere/get bombarded with anon hate/called an apologist.

and i mean, obviously i still like discourse.  i have opinions and i’m always ready to hear new things.  but i’m not about that life of moral perfectionism--i’m not into deciding who is safe and who is unsafe, who shows the right amount of respect for the right demographics, who is pure of heart.  it’s just... the parameters for all these things are constantly shifting and it’s impossible to stay on the cutting edge of purity.  soon enough what was once pure becomes problematic and that’s just how it is.  and besides that, i like to think that people can change, you know?  i can’t stand how hostile the environment gets--how casually people will tear each other apart.  

it was miserable how stressful it was trying to navigate discourse and form objective opinions while everyone around me was invested body, mind, and soul, willing to crusade for their beliefs.  i’m glad that after everything i can still enjoy any piece of it.  

[admoooosa]

Hey! I am truly in love with all of your character drawings and illustrations, it really seems like you're completely in control of what you're trying to portray with their expressions and gestures and it seriously blows me away! I wanted to know who or what you studied, what advice you have for people who are trying to make art that is as playful and genuine as your work? I haven't seen any questions in your feed so I'm not sure if you answer them but that's okay, hope you get this :)

Hey!! Sorry for the late response, I actually saw this ask on the same day you sent it and it made me happy!! It also  made me scratch my head tryna think of a good answer... I don't really have a clear oneThere aren't any asks in my feed because nobody has asked me anything! I don't blame them, since I don't seem to ever post texts or anything casual/interesting enough to spark conversations or give the impression that I'm willing to discuss anything with anyone in public -- but you're the first person to send an ask in like 2 years LOL. The first actual question, actually?? I think it's possible to count the number of asks I have received in my tumblr lifetime with a half of one whole hand (so that's 2 or 3 fingers...? 2 or 3 asks. U decide....).

For 'what I've studied', it's hard to say. I don't recall ever trying to closely study art other than some observational drawings and paintings... As of this writing, my only experience with formal art classes only lasted one semester two years ago! (This will change)I do make small observations from time to time. Maybe that's how you're supposed to study. I don't know what bearing this has on my art since the subjects I draw don't actually exist in real life more than half of the time, but!! Some parts of them do exist! Like.. hands. And pants. (Very) Human interaction. And emotion... Which comes from personal experience and observation (both artwork and real life). I also like animals... Frogs and Lizards are my favourite.

When you asked "who", I'm assuming you meant artists I like a great deal! So! I will give you a list;most of these artists also exist outside of tumblr. I'm listing artists at the top of my head, with works that have stuck with me

http://pietroant.tumblr.com/

http://sangobouro.tumblr.com/

http://blackyjunkgallery.tumblr.com/

http://millionfish.tumblr.com/

http://www.anatolahoward.com/tagged/art

http://pixelp.tumblr.com/

http://jingae.tumblr.com/

http://snoozlebee.tumblr.com/

http://manalon.tumblr.com/

http://winter-cakes.tumblr.com/

http://stringbing.tumblr.com/

http://mobble.tumblr.com/

http://pixelatedcrown.tumblr.com/  (mario cars 2 made me cry)

http://kficc.tumblr.com/

http://stevieborbolla.tumblr.com/

http://nishantsaldanha.tumblr.com/

https://alvinfai.tumblr.com/

http://abigaildebusk.tumblr.com/

https://mosaur.tumblr.com/

http://spencerwan.tumblr.com/

http://kazu7800.tumblr.com/

https://twitter.com/pa__luis

http://alexandrediboine.tumblr.com/

https://yesthisisaaron.tumblr.com/

https://twitter.com/EoghanKerrigan

I am sure some of them are familiar!!!!

I don't feel it would be accurate to say that I've been studying these people as I don't try to closely imitate or understand every aspect of their work. Rather, I am driven to create by them...? They are amazing!!!! I really don't know what it's like to study artists or how it should be done! At least, I can't remember if i have? It really feels like I haven't been studying at all. It has been a few days since I saw your question and my mind is still spinning! But one thing is certain!! Drawing is a lot more exciting once you've come to realise that you can draw anything in any way you like. This should have been obvious to me sooner, but I've overlooked the incredible variety of art we have for too long. There was a time when I was hyperfixated on a single look for drawings. I recommend surrounding yourself with as many kinds of art/artists as possible to get an idea of how limitless fun and appealing artwork can be! I think I got a sense of it this way.

It's especially important to remember that producing art is a concious effort. Artists do things on purpose!

So if you see an interesting picture and think "oh that's interesting to me", the artist probably thought the same when they were making it. And if you're interested in bringing that into your own work, there's no need to hesitate in trying or learning (unless you're committing a crime).

So... my advice to making playful work is; start paying attention to the things you consider to be playful (by the sounds of it, anything you honestly enjoy or are amused by), then put it into your work...And it’s ok to draw a picture only because you want to see it exist