#me awakening with a new gifset after a week

[nimata-beroya]

Since I've been re-vamping my blog a bit, adding some fun stuff, I thought that a new self-promotion post was also in order. So here you go, an improved masterlist of all my works published on Ao3 and all other content I make here on Tumblr (Updated: Dec, 2022).

I'd appreciate your reblogs and comments if you enjoy any of my works 😊🤩🥰 Give the creator some love 💕💕 But if you like none of those options, you could buy me a ko-fi ☕ instead!

(IDs in alt text)

The Bad Batch Appreciation Week 2021 Masterlist (gifsets)

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Rescue in Ryloth (complete, 670 words)

Teen | tw violence| one-shot | fix-it

The rescue of the Syndullas in Ryloth goes differently than it was planned

Rough Awakening (WIP, 9365 words of ?) ~~ Playlist

Teen | tw violence | 4 of ? Chapters | emotional hurt/comfort, whump, angst.

The Batch finally rips Crosshair away from the Empire’s clutches, but things don’t go so smoothly once he’s de-chipped.

On An Adventure (complete, 713 words) [SW X-tober Extravaganza ~ Day 2]

General | no warning | one-shot | Fluff

On a rare stormless night, 99 and Omega go for a little adventure.

Tomorrow Is a Good Day for Someone Else to Die (complete, 1152 words) [SW X-tober Extravaganza ~ Day 3]

Teen | tw referenced violence | one-shot | whump, bullying, minor injuries, blood

The life of Crosshair and Tech in Kamino as cadets has never been easy.

Seeing Red (complete, 1097 words) [SW X-tober Extravaganza ~ Day 6]

Teen | tw canon typical violence | One-shot | whump, serious injuries, blood, pre canon

The Bad Batch goes on their first mission to the battlefront. Things take a sudden turn south.

We Don't Leave Our Own Behind (complete, 1469 words) [SW X-tober Extravaganza ~ Day 8, 9 & 11]

Teen | tw at your discretion | one-shot | whump, dehydration, abandonment, season 1 finale fix-it

Hunter respects Crosshair's choice not to join the batch again, even if it's a karking ass-stupid decision. And yet, love, loyalty, and a tad of guilt —okay, okay… a lot of guilt— don't let him make the same mistake he did before, abandoning his brother.

•

Or the one where the batch goes back for Crosshair after leaving him stranded on the landing platform in Kamino.

Claiming the Soldier (complete, 919 words) [SW X-tober Extravaganza ~ Day 4]

Explicit [MINORS DO NOT INTERACT] | Tw sexual content | one-shot | smut, BDSM, femdom, male sub, x reader

You and Wrecker hit a life-changing milestone in your relationship.

More to come

On An Adventure (complete, 713 words) [SW X-tober Extravaganza ~ Day 2]

General | no warning | one-shot | Fluff

On a rare stormless night, 99 and Omega go for a little adventure.

3 Long Days (complete, 1573 words) [SW X-tober Extravaganza ~ Days 10 & 15]

Teen | no warnings | one-shot | whump, anaphylaxis, delirium

When Ahsoka falls ill, Anakin doesn't leave her side.

You're Still There, I know (complete, 2101 words) [SW X-tober Extravaganza ~ Day 25] ~~ Playlist

Teen | tw at your discretion | one-shot | whump, angst, post order 66, mind control, canon divergence

Riyo feels like she lost the man she loves. If only Fox would talk to her and explain why.

How to Save a Life (wip, 4027 words of ?) [Whumptober 2022 - Days 2,3, 16 & 31 + Bad Things Happen Bingo "Mind Control"]

Teen | tw at your discretion | 2 of 3 chapters | whump, angst, post order 66, mind control, post order 66, canon divergence, canon-typical violence, hurt/comfort, sequel to You're still there, I know.

No matter how much he screams internally or how many times Fox tries to kill Palpatine, or how many times he blames himself for not realizing the enemy was under his nose all this time, nothing changes. His body remains out of his control, only moving when Palpatine finally dismissed him from the office. He walks out like the automaton he has become, his mindless body following the orders of the Sith Lord.

Riyo will die at his hand, and there’s nothing Fox can do to stop it.

Something In the Dark (complete, 2569 words) [Foxiyo Week 2022 - Day 1 + Whumptober 2022 - Day 10 (Alt prompt)]

Teen | no warning | one-shot | Implied Torture, Whump, Hurt/Comfort, mutual pining

Senator Riyo Chuchi and Commander Fox have an unexpected encounter in the darkness.

High Above the Ground (complete, 1513 words) [Foxiyo week 2022 - Day 3]

Mature | tw mild sexual content | one-shot | smut, fluff, domesticity, no order 66, slice of life

Fox's very good, even if a little frustrating, start of a day.

More to come

Kadala (complete, 1197 words)

General | no warnings | one-shot | hurt/comfort, fluff

Mando returns to the Razor Crest after finishing a job and gets help from the little guy.

Drifting (complete, 359 words)

General | no warning | one-shot | angst

Din has seen death up close more times he can count and escaped it just as many. This time, he might not.

Sandawuni Va Umtidagir (WIP, 1524 words of ?)

Teen | tw violence | 2 of ? Chapters | canon-compliant, missing scenes, headcanons

The life of Din Djarin, beroya of the Mandalorian covert in Nevarro, turns upside down the moment he accepts the commission from the client. The quarry he’s after is like any other he has hunted before. He doesn’t expect to form a bond for a lifetime, nor the things he’s willing to do to protect the foundling.

Ramaanla (1k words) [Whumptober 2022 - Days 4, 17 (alt prompt) & 19 + Bad Things Happen Bingo "Hiding an Injury"]

General | TW mention of blood | one-shot | Whump, knees buckling, stabbing, hiding an injury, Mand’alor the reluctant

The duty of the Mand'alor is to look out for all Mandalorians. Sometimes, however, Din Djarin forgets to take care of one in specific: himself.

Magical Exhaustion (gifset) [Whumptober 2022 - Day 27]

Note to Self: Don't Get Kidnapped (gifset) [Whumptober 2022 - Day 30]

More to come

Help, I'm Alive (WIP, 2101 words of ?) [SW X-tober Extravaganza ~ Day 14 & 31]

Teen | tw at your discretion | 1 of 2 chapters | whump, trapped beneath debris, serious injuries, disaster zone

Ezra had imagined many times that he’d die in the heat of a battle against the Empire; he’s had several close calls already. But in his wildest dreams, he never foresaw that his death would come when a temple fell on top of him.

Road to Lira San [Series] (wip, 12,577 words of ?)

PARTS: One ~ Two ~ Three

Teen | warning; violence | 3 of ? works | angst, fluff, canon-compliant, whuump

Agent Kallus never imagined that the day he gets stranded on the Genosian moon, Bahryn, with the rebel Captain Garazeb Orrelios is the day he starts a journey to redemption. The path is not easy, full of risks, but it might be worth it when happiness such as Alexsandr has never known is waiting for him at the end.

An Explosive Situation (complete, 1897 words) [SW X-tober Extravaganza ~ Day 1]

Teen | tw canon-typical violence | one-shot | whump, hurt Alexsandr Kallus

After a solo mission to the planet Dela goes south, Kallus finds himself in a tight spot. The Spectres go to his rescue, but the actual saving turns out more complicated than expected.

Deconstructed Reality  (wip, 2.946 of ?) [Kalluzeb Minibang 2022] ~~ playlist

Teen | tw referenced torture and genocide, mind control, PTSD | 2 of 4 chapters | canon divergence, Bahryn with a different ending

What if Alexsandr Kallus has been a rebel all along, even if he doesn’t remember?

Running Out of Air (Complete, 1442 words) [Whumptober 2022 - Day 5 + Bad Things Happen Bingo "Clawing at Own Throat"]

Teen | TW Violence | One-shot | Whump, strangulation, force choking, implied beheading, implied massacre, nightmares

Kallus faces his worst nightmare yet.

The Tables Are Turned (3.1k words) [Whumptober 2022 - Day 25]

Mature | TW Implied sexual content | one-shot | mention of BDSM, whumpers are the good guys and the bad guys are the whumpees, role reversal, psychological torture, interrogation

Captain Rhamis of the Imperial Army takes the night off to indulge in his vices. Little does he know that his evening will go very differently than he expects. Instead of satiating his base urges, he falls into a trap, where former ISB Agent Alexsandr Kallus and Rebel Garazeb Orrelios force information out of him.

More to come

Orys Kinall: Post || Web page || Ao3

Lieutenant Onix: Post || Web page || Ao3

Sergeant Dropper: Post || Web page || Ao3

Corporal Clawbird: Post || Web Page || Ao3

Private Nock: Post || Web Page || Ao3

Private Ares: Post || Web page || Ao3

Nassa Luvira: Post || Web page || Ao3

Katkris Pex: Post || Web page || Ao3

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[unwinthehart]

*clearing throat* I’ve never said anything because on twitter is imposible to speak without being accused of something. Well I don’t fucking care anymore, you (not *you*, you=twitter) can call me a shipper, whatever. I think something is off, I’m not saying they had a big fight or that they never ever speak again but everything is weird. And here’s my impopular opinión, I think (believe, feel, call it what you want) that they liked each other, I’m not saying they were in love or that they have a relationship but girl, some bi awakening was happening there. Again, for me. When blanc0 left G and we found out I was shocked cause it was only a week after sanremo but Al3 said in the same interview that he had sex that week and everything went crazy since then. Like, three weeks after that we have the new girl living in his house (I’m not going to say the name of that fascist cause she only wants fame) and now she’s everywhere. But she only was missing when they last sing together, funny thing if you ask me. I kind of knew too that they weren’t going to meet in sicily because she was there. Since then I’ve seen the “lovely” couple fight too many times for my linking. I think Al3 is very smart and he doesn’t like the drama so he is avoiding everything and blanc0 seems to be having a weird time. So yes, maybe I’m crazy but you have to be blind to say everything is fine and nothing happened. I’m sad cause irama and rkomi had their performance tonight and they got their award and I wanted that. So I don’t know if we gonna get a happy ending and everything go back to normal or the brividiera is really over. I’m sorry for rambling here and I’m sorry for the english cause I’m from spain (today without s). You can post this or not I don’t care, I just needed to express myself 💖💖💖💖

I thought about this ask and I decided to post it, because you said it was fine and because I said in the past this blog is a safe place for whoever approaches it politely and I still maintain that. Also because for the love of everything, "shipping" isn't inherently bad. Yes, even real people. Rpf have always existed and I'm so not here for any fandom policing whatsoever. Whoever is irked by that has either not been on the internet long enough, or doesn't know how to properly interact with people. This is also not Twitter, so let's reassure everyone they can send what they fancy my way, providing they're not as*holes about it.

I'm not sure it's required of me to chime in, or if this is just a way for you to "express yourself" like you said. So I'm not adding my own two cents here, because it'd be, after all, just speculation, just like yours, since none of us knows more or better, sadly 😅

We always knew the Brividi Era would come to an end, sooner or later (I mean, still debatable, song's too important not to have an everlasting impact), but I completely feel your disappointment. Especially after seeing Rkomi & Irama duet. I know, I feel it too. I would have loved to have another performance and I still want to believe it's in the cards along the way (*whispers* Sanremo 2023).

I don't know if it'd make you feel better, but Blanco did thank "Ale" (not Mahmood, not Alessandro. Ale) and Mahmood liked his post almost right away last night. And if you want my opinion on this, I don't think there's been any fight or huge disagreement. Sometimes life just happens, and Sanremo/Eurovision sadly got us used to them being together so much for such a long time that whatever comes after can never be enough.

(*anything coming out of RTL is cursed and a lot to unpack everytime. Including the Future Hits event. I have like, 2436547656 gifsets in the making of the same interviews and. Yeah.)

[cassidysanne]

(X)

[earstwo]

     ✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

I hit 7k recently after losing almost 1.5k followers when I converted to a Reylo blog (not sorry in the slightest) and decided it was time to finally compile some of the INCREDIBLE fanfics that I’ve read since joining the fandom in December. 

I’m constantly impressed by the talent around here and I'm so grateful to love a ship that has some of the most amazing content I’ve ever seen. The creators in this fandom are second to none. I’m so thankful for all they do and all that they give to us. 

Please keep never stop sharing your gifts. <3 

**Note: Most (pretty much all) of these are rated E. 

Without further ado, here are (some of) my favorite stories: 

The Jedi Path  by SouthsideStory | 19k | E | I am such a sucker for Jedi Academy Ben and Rey. It’s everything I never knew I needed, and this fic is a beautiful rendition. If you know me at all, you know that I devour Angst with a Happy Ending stories, and this is no exception to that rule.

Exile by Ernzo | 22k | E | Oof. This one hurts. Leia sends Rey to the planet where Ben is exiled. It’s angsty and sad and cathartic in every way. I’ve read it dozens of times. 

Before the Saber Swings by @waterlilyrose​ | 28k | M |  Fuck. When I tell y’all that this story fucked me up, I mean it from the bottom of my s o u l. It stayed with me for days. I literally couldn’t get it out of my head. It felt so real to me that I was in physical pain while reading it. I also made an AU gifset of the fic with a quote from Buffy because I’m extra and love pain. 

penitence by @bettsfic​ | 16k | M | Look, Betts is one of my favorite fanfiction authors of all time. Her Bellarke works are some that I’ve read dozens of times and I was fucking ecstatic when I found out she also writes Reylo. This is an A+ TROS fix-it that is lovely and soft and sweet. 

The Writings of Ben Solo by BurnedStars777 | 39k | E | This was recced to me by the fabulous @galacticidiots​ and is just a fantastic story all around. Rey finds Ben’s journal whilst stuck on a planet with Kylo Ren and she (eventually) connects the dots. Rey falling in love with Ben sight unseen? Here. For. it.  find a thread to pull, and we can watch it unravel by again_please | 17k | E | A fantastic post-TLJ story with angsty and broody Ben and just some all around quality smut. I devoured this and have read it multiple time since. 

We Could Plant a House, We Could Build a Tree by @likeadove​ | 124k | E | I will probably never stop reading this fic. It’s such a beautiful coming of age story for Rey and her relationship with Ben as she grows up is just... gah. It’s fantastic. Please read it.    

Soul Searching by OptimisticBeth | 205k | E | Soulmates AU where Ben is Rey’s teacher? Sign me the fuuuuck up, and Soul Searching is so fucking well written. I go back to this one every few weeks and just gush at how great the world building is. I love the relationship Rey has with Leia and Han. It’s rich with love and angst and fluffffff. So good. 

Coveted by OptimisticBeth | 82k | E | WIP | OptimisticBeth is just an incredible writer, so you should honestly read all of her stuff, but I am so, so, so into this fic. It’s A/B/O and Ben’s Rey’s pack leader. He, along with a bunch of other Alphas are trying to court Rey, a highly desired Omega. It’s so fucking delicious, y’all. Alpha Ben Solo is just...it doesn’t get much better. 

A Treehouse Covered in Salt by violethoure666 | 34k | E | This fic made me cry my eyes out. I’m not kidding. It’s so raw and real. It hurts to read at some points, but you care so much about Ben and Rey in this that you fight through the pain. They grow up together as neighbors and Han builds them a treehouse where they meet throughout their childhoods/teen years. Prepare to cry but also be so fulfilled and satisfied. It’s wonderful. love it when you call me lover by @kylotrashforever​​ | 66k | E | WIP | First, let me say that anything by KTF is going to be gold. These fics I have listed are just a few of my favorites at the moment. Lover is hot as fuck (as is all of her stuff) but also fluffy in the best way. It’s in Sadsville right now so I’m fucking PUMPED for her to update. Ben’s a doctor who basically gives Rey a sexual awakening when he proves her statement of “I just don’t think I can come from (insert sexual act here)” very, very wrong.  

mountain at my gates by @kylotrashforever​ | 26k | E | More A/B/O goodness. Omega Rey’s car breaks down on a mountain. Ben is a mountain man Alpha. You can probably guess what happens from there. *fans self* 

take me to church by @kylotrashforever​ | 26k | E | I love this story so much. Ben is the pastor’s son at the church Rey grows up in. They start hooking up in secret and are terrrrrrible at communicating with each other which leads to angst. But it’s so sweet and soft while also being super hot. I love this Ben and Rey so much. 

Your Pretty Little Heart by @ever-so-reylo​ | 64k | E | The A/B/O Reylo bible, I feel like. They’re doctors and he’s a grumpy as fuck Alpha. Shenanigans ensue. And by shenanigans I mean a lot, a lot, a LOT of sex. 

The Food of Love by @lovesbitca8​ | 60k | E | Y’all. If you haven’t read this yet, please stop what you’re doing and read it RIGHT NOW. I ate this fic up in one sitting because holy SHIT it’s amazing. It’s so well written and the story is just... absolutely exquisite. Ben is cellist that’s also a famous rockstar and Rey’s an up and coming violinist and they fall in loOOoOOve in the best, most angsty, sexiest way. Please just read it right now. The scene when she firsts goes to his apartment and plays one of his cellos............you guys. It’s a lot.

Already Home by AttackoftheDarkCurses | 81k | E | This is soulmates + A/B/O so naturally I am obsessed with it. Rey gets connected with her soulmate via a website and he’s going by the name Kylo Ren. At the same time, she’s also moving in with grumpy librarian Ben Solo. She falls in love with both but has no idea that they’re the same person. It’s INCREDIBLE. 

Tangled but Unbroken by AttackoftheDarkCurses | 20k | M | I read this the other night and it’s so fucking soft. I am such a fucking sucker for growing up together fics and this is just such top quality. The braiding kills me every goddamn time. Also, I’m making my way through all of Attack’s works right now and they’re all incredible. Highly recommend. 

Dear Mr. President by @shmisolo​ | 89k | E | I love this Ben so much. The characterization is so on the money. The angst is absolutely delicious. The smut is top brass. Oh, and did I mention they’re soulmates? It’s everything you need, I promise. 

Good Day, Professor by @faequeentitania​ | 38k | E | One of the best Professor Solo fics out there. I’m such a sucker for age difference fics. Of course there’s angst, who do you think I am? 

Embers by sciosophia | 34k | E | Breaking up/getting back together fics are some of my favorites and this one is fantastic. The pining with these two is ridiculous. You just want to smush their faces together. It’s a beautiful love story. 

Reclaimed by @bettsfic​ | 14k | E | Ughhhhhhhhhh, Reclaimed. I am so in love with Reclaimed. Alpha Ben adopts Omega Rey after she’s rescued from this terrible Alpha that held her captive for most of her life. She doesn’t talk and Ben has to help her learn to be a human being and not just a subservient Omega. This Ben is the Ben of my dreams. No contest. 

the following are all written by  @kylorenvevo​. please read them all if you haven’t already. 

landscape with a blur of conquerers | 362k | E |  Y’all know this shit is fire. It’s basically the bible. If you haven’t read this yet, consider this as me yelling at you to do it NOW.   

like young gods | 84k | T | fuck, the Sword of the Jedi series is incomparable when it comes to in-universe fics. I cannot begin to express how much I love this story. It’s so soft and intense and sad. Like, gut wrenchingly sad. Ben senses Rey on Jakku when she’s six and he and Luke take her back to the Jedi Academy. She grows up with Ben. 

to kingdom come | 145k | M |  The sequel to Like Young Gods. I’m not gonna spoil much here, but just know I cried through most of this fic. I downright SOBBED at the end. It’s gorgeous and I will never stop rereading it. The love these two have for each other... it’s unreal. 

i kill giants  | 34k | E | WIP | The TROS fix-it we all need. Ben is alive and finds Rey on Tatooine. It’s soft and Thea does a great job of soothing so many of the gaping wounds we were left with after TROS. My heart soars every time I read a new chapter. This is what we deserved. :( 

the heartbreak prince | 58k | E | WIP |  Harry Potter AU. Professor/student. Size kink. Virginity kink. ANGST. All the good things life has to offer. Professor Solo is fucking filthy in this and I (along with Miss Niima)  am here 👏 for 👏 it. 

place the moon at my eyes (and her whiteness shall devour)  | 29k | E | Another breakup/get back together fic that I absolutely adore.

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Thank you to everyone that’s been so kind and welcoming to me the past couple of months! I love this fandom and its energy and enthusiasm and how much everyone seems to care for each other. I hope that I can continue to create content for you forever <3 

[annakie]

Notes on a Blog Cleanup, Part 5

...And now I’m at Page 611.  I’m in the end of 2016.  So, a little under 400 pages to get through another 18ish months.  Big change from the first 1000 pages being 18 months.

And this is when things go very, very wrong, for all of us, and then for me in a big way, in particular.

This is less about the blog and just more about reflecting on a time period.

And maybe my last post on this series.   We’ll see.

This got real personal at the end.  I’ll see if I keep it up tomorrow.

I really loved going through the last couple of years on the blog, but I was very, very much dreading getting to November, 2016.  We all know why.

The second half of 2015 was pretty great.  Went to NYCC a second time (though I never got around to doing recaps of that trip, which had its ups and downs but mostly ups), and then mom and I went on a Caribbean cruise, which I also didn’t do much recaps of.   Because on that trip, my grandmother had a big downturn on her health.  My mom nearly left the cruise early to fly back to Dallas (and the Princess Cruise people were so, so good to my mom when the front desk found out what was going on).  But in the end she stayed, but getting back home was like when everything really started going wrong, and why I say that the end of one of the best times of my life stopped after that cruise.

We got back, and a week later grandma had the stroke that signaled the end, and after a little over a month of hospice care that was very difficult to watch (and my mom and aunt and even dad were so brave about), she was gone.  Some good stuff happened in there, like The Force Awakens released, a fun Christmas party at work... but yeah.

I kept alluding to other bad things happening in 2016 and yet I honestly can’t remember now what was so bad, except that my oldest cat and my dog’s healths were both starting to fail.  I’m sure I had other reasons, but hey, from the standpoint of 2019, I’d just about to kill to go back to one ordinary weekday of January through very early November 2016 when we had a sane president and relatively sane political climate, I still had my job with the people I loved, and Jim and Cebu were still alive.   

Not that things are THAT TERRIBLE now, I just... really miss all those things.

I deleted a lot of political posts from the blog back then because, tbh, they just hurt to much to see.  I was like 90% sure Hillary would win, weren’t we all?  It wasn’t supposed to happen this way.

I got to one post the day the Cubs won the World Series and was like “That was the last day where things felt... hopeful and normal?”  Like wow this one really cool thing happened (at least to me it was awesome) and then like two days later... the world turned upside down.

I took the next day off work to stay in bed and just... cope.  When I went back to work the next day a friend of mine and I were talking and she told me that she knew how I felt but thought it wasn’t going to be that bad.  That maybe I was overreacting.   A year later she told me she was wrong to have told me that.

I’m counting the months until, hopefully, this is all over.  If we’re lucky, sixteen months.  If this impeachment thing actually yields results, much less.  If we’re very not lucky... much, much more than that.  I can’t even deal with the thought.

I’ve... decided to press pause on the blog cleanup, even though I have 600 pages (which is still THREE YEARS!) to go.  

I got to my first post where I admitted on the blog that I knew it would be Jim’s time to go pretty soon, and at the time, thought I still had around 6 months for Cebu.  

In the last few years, I have gone back and visited my posts about how my close to 17 year-old cat died on Christmas morning and then my 14+ year-old dog died three days later.  It was, so far, still considered to be the worst week of my life.  I had no family in town to turn to really, but they called, and friends who reached out online, and I made it through that time, but it’s three years later and it’s still hard to really think about when I’m not in the right headspace.  

The entirety of the end of 2016 until... honestly, like June of 2018 was like a freight train that hit and didn’t let go.  Things were actually okay when the grief cloud lifted around March of 2017 until the end of June, and then I found out my company was getting bought out, and then, well, this happened.  And it was worse than what I wrote in that post, to try and not mudsling as much as I could have.  

I am still finding posts I want to tag, entire gifsets I forgot to tag correctly here and there, or things that should have been tagged personal post or TAH or Mass Effect or whatever that weren’t.   As time goes on, I tag better and better though, and very little needs to be deleted other than “stuff is one sale right now!” or “This is no longer relevant” posts so... it’s relatively good now.

I’ve been feeling pretty shitty the last couple of weeks.  My dad’s oldest sister is dying, she’ll be gone in the next week or two.  I went to Palm Springs to visit her at the beginning of the month.  She was always so bright and vibrant and... classy.  I hadn’t seen her at all in like a decade though.  It’s weird how time gets away from you like that.  

The last time I’d seen her and my uncle, my entire family including my (mom’s sister) aunt, my (mom’s mom) grandma, my brother, (pregnant at the time!) SIL, and her parents were all supposed to go on a cruise, and Mom/dad/grandma/aunt and I were to stay with that (dad’s sister) aunt and uncle for a few days over thanksgiving before getting on the ship.  Grandma got sick, so I did Thanksgiving with (ds) aunt and uncle on my own.  And it was really fun.  I’d been so nervous at the time to be there without my parents and... nope it was a great weekend.  They took me to a Christmas fair, a NA Pow-wow (public was invited!), antiquing, bought me a sweatshirt and a copper bracelet... spoiled me rotten.  

Seeing her so diminished and what she and my uncle are going through now... very difficult.  My parents have been out there for over a month now, they’ll be there to the end.  

I thought I’d posted about this but I guess I hadn’t?  Over July 4th weekend I drove to visit my brother and sister in law and their (four!) kids.  My parents were there, too (they’re RVers, they can be wherever they want in a few days) My dad’s OTHER sister and his brother flew in for a day and a half, too.  I saw more family this year than I had than the past 10 years before this combined.  It’s really started to make me think about the value of family, if they’re good to you, which mine are, even if you don’t agree with them about everything.  

I thought I was getting sick all day, I came home from work at like 10:30 this morning, called into a meeting, slept through lunch, worked for an hour or two, had my afternoon meetings canceled by my boss then just laid in bed.  I was supposed to go play D&D4e tonight, and I didn’t go.  I could have.  I just... realized late this afternoon, I’m not sick, I’m just... blah.  I’m not sure if going through this blog was a symptom of that, or a cause.  

I think the impeachment stuff is getting to me, too.  It’s a part of how I feel.  I can’t stop looking for news of it.  I don’t want to get my hopes up.  I keep telling myself to let it go.  I can’t.  We are all so tired of what’s going on.  I’m exhausted.  We all are.

I can’t get the idea of moving to where my brother lives to be near him and the SIL and the kids out of my head.  I’ve been looking at real estate listings and can probably get a slightly nicer house there for what I could sell mine for here.  My job is... it’s fine.  But I could probably get a similar one there.  There’s one thing holding me here, my friends.  I keep wondering now if that’s enough.  I’ve lived in Dallas literally half my life.  Am I going to spend the rest of it here?  I’m not as happy as I used to be, that’s for sure.

Maybe.  It’s just a thought.  It’s a lot of work.  I don’t know.  I probably won’t go anywhere.

I think I need to go get some more sleep.