#also pls if anyone annoys you for politing minding your own fucking business

[unwinthehart]

*clearing throat* I’ve never said anything because on twitter is imposible to speak without being accused of something. Well I don’t fucking care anymore, you (not *you*, you=twitter) can call me a shipper, whatever. I think something is off, I’m not saying they had a big fight or that they never ever speak again but everything is weird. And here’s my impopular opinión, I think (believe, feel, call it what you want) that they liked each other, I’m not saying they were in love or that they have a relationship but girl, some bi awakening was happening there. Again, for me. When blanc0 left G and we found out I was shocked cause it was only a week after sanremo but Al3 said in the same interview that he had sex that week and everything went crazy since then. Like, three weeks after that we have the new girl living in his house (I’m not going to say the name of that fascist cause she only wants fame) and now she’s everywhere. But she only was missing when they last sing together, funny thing if you ask me. I kind of knew too that they weren’t going to meet in sicily because she was there. Since then I’ve seen the “lovely” couple fight too many times for my linking. I think Al3 is very smart and he doesn’t like the drama so he is avoiding everything and blanc0 seems to be having a weird time. So yes, maybe I’m crazy but you have to be blind to say everything is fine and nothing happened. I’m sad cause irama and rkomi had their performance tonight and they got their award and I wanted that. So I don’t know if we gonna get a happy ending and everything go back to normal or the brividiera is really over. I’m sorry for rambling here and I’m sorry for the english cause I’m from spain (today without s). You can post this or not I don’t care, I just needed to express myself 💖💖💖💖

I thought about this ask and I decided to post it, because you said it was fine and because I said in the past this blog is a safe place for whoever approaches it politely and I still maintain that. Also because for the love of everything, "shipping" isn't inherently bad. Yes, even real people. Rpf have always existed and I'm so not here for any fandom policing whatsoever. Whoever is irked by that has either not been on the internet long enough, or doesn't know how to properly interact with people. This is also not Twitter, so let's reassure everyone they can send what they fancy my way, providing they're not as*holes about it.

I'm not sure it's required of me to chime in, or if this is just a way for you to "express yourself" like you said. So I'm not adding my own two cents here, because it'd be, after all, just speculation, just like yours, since none of us knows more or better, sadly 😅

We always knew the Brividi Era would come to an end, sooner or later (I mean, still debatable, song's too important not to have an everlasting impact), but I completely feel your disappointment. Especially after seeing Rkomi & Irama duet. I know, I feel it too. I would have loved to have another performance and I still want to believe it's in the cards along the way (*whispers* Sanremo 2023).

I don't know if it'd make you feel better, but Blanco did thank "Ale" (not Mahmood, not Alessandro. Ale) and Mahmood liked his post almost right away last night. And if you want my opinion on this, I don't think there's been any fight or huge disagreement. Sometimes life just happens, and Sanremo/Eurovision sadly got us used to them being together so much for such a long time that whatever comes after can never be enough.

(*anything coming out of RTL is cursed and a lot to unpack everytime. Including the Future Hits event. I have like, 2436547656 gifsets in the making of the same interviews and. Yeah.)

[binniedeactivated]

hello binnie 👉👈 can i request a dom!beomgyu x fem!reader smut that follows the enemies to lovers plot line? maybe add in some degradation kink and jealousy or something (if possible) 👀 thank you!!

𝐏𝐀𝐈𝐑𝐈𝐍𝐆 | 𝐝𝐨𝐦!𝐛𝐞𝐨𝐦𝐠𝐲𝐮 𝐱 𝐟𝐞𝐦!𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫

𝐆𝐄𝐍𝐑𝐄 | 𝐚𝐫𝐫𝐚𝐧𝐠𝐞𝐝 𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐫𝐢𝐚𝐠𝐞!𝐚𝐮, 𝐞𝐧𝐞𝐦𝐢𝐞𝐬 𝐭𝐨 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐬 𝐚𝐮, 𝐬𝐦𝐮𝐭

𝐖/𝐂 | 3.2k

𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐒 | 𝐝𝐞𝐠𝐫𝐞𝐝𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧, 𝐣𝐞𝐚𝐥𝐨𝐮𝐬𝐲, 𝐫𝐨𝐮𝐠𝐡 𝐬𝐞𝐱

a/n: this is my first time writing an arranged marriage fic so tell me if ya’ll like it (pls)

in his cleanly tailored black suit, an impatient beomgyu taps his foot in the corridor. he checks his watch for the fifth time in 6 minutes, looking over at the guards and driver with frustration.

“I don’t understand what’s taking her so long. what is she doing?”. he seethes.

“if you like I can check on her for you sir”. the maid asks politely. beomgyu nods and gestures toward the spiraled staircase of their oversized, luxurious home. “can you please? thank you”.

you were finishing the last touches on your makeup. you loved your outfit and you thought you looked gorgeous in your skin tight , satin salmon colored dress. however the only thing bad about this outing is that you had to go with your husband, choi beomgyu. marriage is one of the happiest times in any woman’s life but not yours. you didn’t have the beautiful, unpredictable love story like the average person. instead you were arranged in a marriage with a person you weren’t compatible with.

and the worst part about it all is that you couldn’t back down even if you tried. coming from a rich and rather popular family yourself, they wanted you to marry someone similar that could possibly understand you better and match your sentiments and luxury. so they picked the infamous choi beomgyu, apart of one the biggest, richest clans in the nation. as soon as you and beomgyu first interacted you knew there would be nothing to look forward to other than the downfall of your marriage. and you were just waiting for your family to see that.

“excuse me? mrs. choi? mr. choi was wondering if you were going to be ready any time soon?”.

you rolled your eyes. “tell him I’m coming down. I don’t know why he’s rushing me”. she nods her head and closes the door while you grab your purse. you took one last glimpse in the mirror and spread just a bit more glitter gloss on your lips before you were walking down the staircase. glancing up from his watch annoyed he glares up at you and tries his best to keep his eyes from skimming your curves.

“I don’t know why it takes you so long to get dressed. we’re going to an anniversary banquet not the grammy awards”.

“I don’t know why you feel like you have to rush me all the time. I said I was coming down. the venue is only 10 minutes away and the event doesn’t start for another 30 minutes”.

you say with just as much attitude as him, the guards helping you step into your heels as soon as you arrived at the bottom of the staircase. you whisper a small thank you while another wraps your fur coat around your neck. by this time anyone who worked in the choi residence were used to their frequent bickering. so there was no use in trying to get the duo to stop.

“yeah and we have to account for traffic. you also know that since I’m the son of the chief I have to be there on time. I don’t have time to be waiting for you to play in your little makeup box”.

you both head out of the door with the guards helping you to the car. the car was the worst out of all locations. since you two had a designated driver everywhere it meant that you would have to sit in a partitioned backseat with beomgyu.

you began talking as soon as the door closed behind you. “just because you get dressed two hours before every event doesn’t mean I have to do the same thing”.

“did I even say that? I’m just saying you have to start taking time into consideration. I don’t care how you get ready”.

“you were implying it so I’m letting you know. And I don’t care if you’re the chief ‘s son or not. I don’t care that you’re my husband. I don’t have to listen to you”.

“if you keeping doing what you want to do you’re going to give both of our families a bad reputation and we’re both going to lose our status and become poor. and I’m sure with all that glamorous shit that you wear becoming poor is your biggest nightmare”.

“and do you see how cocky you are? I’m pretty sure becoming poor is your biggest nightmare too. so how about we not go into that subject?”.

“I’ll go into whatever subject I want to go into because you don’t listen”.

“and who exactly do I have to listen to? please tell me”.

beomgyu rolls his eyes and sighs, he diverts his gaze to the scenery out the window while shooing you off. “you know what I don’t care anymore”.

you smacked his hand away. “don’t shoo me away Iike I’m some animal beomgyu. have some damn respect”.

“why would I respect you if you don’t respect me?”.

“I’m done talking to you. just stop talking”.

“good I’ve been waiting for you to be done”.

“good”. you say turning towards your own window in frustration. god he knew how to work your nerves.

“good”. he repeats back. and the both of you maintain the silence until it was time to actually speak at the event. it was the choi clan’s anniversary tonight and everyone couldn’t wait to see their baby boy beomgyu with his wife. it was something they all couldn’t believe considering they all raised him since he was in diapers. however acting like a married couple with beomgyu was the last thing you wanted to do tonight.

but nevertheless beomgyu snatches your hand in his before you two walked in the corridor. you wanted to say something but you guys were immediately bombarded by hugs and kisses from grandpas, grandmas, uncles, aunts, and even old cousins. most of them complimented how cute you two looked together and even asked when you guys were going to have children. you could just puke at the thought. you and beomgyu hadn’t even slept in the same bed.

the both of you sat down to your assigned dining table and other than the fact that you had to play pretend with beomgyu, you admired the historic decor and architecture of the venue.

“oh my gosh you guys are just so adorable together! let me tell you when beomgyu was little he always wanted to get married. he always talked about having a wife it was so cute. I’m glad to see he got his wish with someone as beautiful as you!”. one of his aunts complimented you both as soon as you sat down. you plastered on a fake smile and beomgyu nods with another fake smile of his own.

“can I get a picture if you don’t mind? I would love to add this to my photo album!”.

beomgyu puts his hand up and laughs, “auntie you really don’t have to right now. we can take pictures later”.

she flips her hand in the air, “oh! nonsense beomgyu! now you two pose for my camera”. she insists holding it up. you just wanted to come out of your body for a moment to see how awkward you both looked.

“guys! sit like you love each other. maybe you can kiss him on his cheek? that would be adorable!”.

now that was way too far for your liking. you shook your head and laughed to avoid it but you felt beomgyu nudging you underneath the table.

“just do it”. he murmured.

“no I’d rather be caught dead than lay my lips on you”.

“stop acting like a fucking child. just do it”.

for the sake of the status of you both, you positioned your lips right near his cheek but not letting them touch. she held up her camera but quickly put it down and laughs. “I don’t know why this looks staged. you two love each other! how about you just kiss? the cheek kiss looks a bit too fake for me”. she says before holding up her camera again.

the both of you swallow. he turns to you, “i promise after this my lips will never touch you again”. he whispers.

“good”. you mutter.

“good”. he repeats. he holds his breath before pressing his lips against yours. she quickly snapped the picture and jeered at the cuteness of it. but you couldn’t help but think about the softness of beomgyu’s lips and how they matched perfectly with yours. how he kissed you so passionately in such a short amount of time. how he made your heart pound. he quickly pulled away once he realized he was kissing you a bit too long knowing you were probably going to scold him. but for the first time in a long time you didn’t really want to.

the event was starting and the both of you bit your lips while diverting your gazes elsewhere. as the night progressed, oddly enough you avoided each other at all costs. even if that meant sparking conversations with a couple of gyu’s cousins just to do so. but like the jealous cousins’ they were though they were definitely doing more flirting than conversing. you had to say receiving other male attention wasn’t half bad. it wasn’t like you and beomgyu were a thing anyways.

beomgyu gently stirs his cup though, eyeing you from across the room. his uncles were giving him advice for marriage but he could only focus on the way his cousin subtly flirted by kissing you on the back of your hand multiple times. and it didn’t make it any better when you were blushing in response. it scared beomgyu because he hated you. and you hated him. so he couldn’t understand why he was getting jealous but he was and he couldn’t stop himself. his jealous aura made things much colder especially when you two were back in the car.

“and then here you go, having an attitude about something else“. you roll your eyes. as the door closed after you.

“i don’t know why you say shit like that if you know you cause them”.

“what did I do this time? I barely said a word to you tonight”.

“exactly. you were too busy exchanging them with my cousin”.

“and why does it concern you? we’re barely a couple let alone married”.

“do you realize that if you even slip up a little bit it affects our reputation? do you not think about that?”.

“why aren’t you addressing your cousin too then? he was flirting with me first”.

“and you were flirting back”. beomgyu snapped with his annoyed gaze out the window once more. you stared at him curiously.

“what? are you jealous?”.

“stop talking to me”.

you roll your eyes at his attitude again. he pissed you off so much. “I don’t even know why you’re jealous. we kissed for the first time tonight. we’ve been married for almost a year. doesn’t that say something about this whole entire relationship?”.

“I said stop talking to me”.

“what did I say about me not having to listen to you? I’m tired of you thinking you own--”.

in the blink of the eye beomgyu grabbed you and pulled you on his lap while his hand squeezed your jaw tightly, squishing your cheeks inwards.

“you know what? shut the fuck up. shut up. I am sick and tired of your attitude. every single time I say something you escalate it and drag it. no one can ever tell you shit because you feel like you know everything. I’m sick of it. I don’t want to be in this marriage as much as you but guess what? we don’t have a choice. I don’t want to spend the rest of my life arguing with you this shit is getting old. do you understand me?”.

your eyes grew as his tone of his voice. he slipped into a dialect you never heard out of him before. your heart raced and you nod at his words with your jaw aching painfully. he finally releases you and you glare back at his angered face while touching your jaw. you breathe heavy,

“why couldn’t you have gotten your point across without putting your hands on me?”.

“because I know you’d like it if I put my hands on you wouldn’t you?”.

and after that line, there was nothing but the heated stares and silence rising from the space between you. beomgyu took this time to admire your body from this close. he lets his fingers brushes against your thighs, following up your curves and your boobs and you let him. because it’s what you wanted. it’s all you wanted. you wanted beomgyu to touch you.

he stared you in your needy eyes before clasping his hand around your neck.

“you like it don’t you?”.

as soon as you bite your lips and nod beomgyu is already crashing his lips into yours. it was a kiss identical to this kiss from earlier except this time he kissed you hungrily. all this time he was craving you and now he couldn’t get enough.  each time he pulled back for air he went in for more allowing his tongue to battle yours like a warrior, both pair of your hands curiously wandering the unfamiliar body of the other. he lifts your dress up and you unbuckle his slacks. he inches down to your neck and sucks skin burning hickeys that elicited soft moans from your lips. and they turned beomgyu on more than they should’ve because he never heard you moan before. he unzips your dress, let his fingers tease your slit through your panties while his tongue made a trail to your nipples.

you gasp in shock at the way he was sucking them, his head bobbing slowly on each nub before flicking them with his tongue. you mewl soft enough to be inaudible to the driver. not that he could hear much anyway with how loud the engine was roaring. he sticks his fingers in your panties and tease your clit while sucking your nipples obediently like the puppy he was. you push down and grind on his fingers, never in a million years thinking you’d be moaning for gyu like this.

he clasps his hand around your neck once more watching your grind your hips down on his fingers. he scoffs, “with the way you speak to me you don’t deserve to feel this good”. your head tilted back as your needy noises flooded the air. you wanted him so bad. you knew this wouldn’t be enough to get you off.

“look at your face. you want to be fucked don’t you?”. you nod as best as you could. “beg for it”.

you shamelessly obliged. “pplease beomgyu, please fuck me”.

“tell me that you’re going to stop talking back to me“.

“ffuck i’m going to stop talking back”. you groan.

“tell me you’re going to work on your attitude”.

“I’m ggoing to work on my attitude!”.

“you promise?”.

“yyes I promise”. you stammer.

words couldn’t explain how good you felt when beomgyu finally stuffed himself in you. he kept his thumb on your clit and fucked up into you as fast and hard as he possibly could. he disregarded your sweet cries or the love bites you created in his neck. he disregarded how much you clawed at his shoulder blades or squeezed the back of his neck. you were sopping wet for him and he wanted to feel all of you. he didn’t care how rough he was. he wanted to teach you a lesson once and for all.

“you’re so fucking--mmh”. beomgyu groans.

you caress his wrists while he chokes you and you moan while mindlessly drooling all over his fingers. he rubs your clit in small circles. you pant heavily feeling your hips stutter in his thrusts. “yyou’re going to make me ccum beomgyu-”. you whine, “fuck you’re going to make me cum”, you whine in a higher tone than anticipated. 

“after you cum I don’t want to hear any mouth from you anymore. who owns you?”.

“yyou ! you own me beomgyu! fuckkk I’m cumming”.

your hips bucked while you released only for beomgyu to clutch your thighs and continue his sloppy thrusts inside you. you feel bad for the mess you were making on his lap but it seemed as if he didn’t care. you whined into the crook of his neck while he was overstimulating you until he finally got his fix.

“I’m almost done baby”. he groans while thrusting into you a few more times before painting your insides with his cum. with a heaving chest he lands a hot blooded kiss on your mouth.

“if we’re... going to start being nice to each other i’m sorry for talking to you that way“, -- “you just get me so angry sometimes”.

you couldn’t believe your ears. choi beomgyu was apologizing. you swallow your pride and kiss him back.

“it’s going to take a long time for me... to get used to being nice to you but I’m willing to try“,--- “and I’m sorry for my attitude and the way I belittle you. I’ll work on it”.

beomgyu smirks. “because I own you right?”.

you roll your eyes and playfully scoff. “fine”.

[indiavolojones]

anon your MIND… 

 YE━(｡･`ω´･｡)ゞ ━S!!

Idk if you meant this as a request but I did it!!! I hope you like this incredibly spur of the moment, university wicked au lmfaoaoooo

5kish words, gen, asmo/solomon

“I can’t concentrate on coursework or go to bed if you’ve got someone moaning in your bed every other night.”

“Sounds like a personal problem,” Asmo sniffs, and Solomon very quickly finds the situation slipping through his fingers. All of his phenomenally constructed arguments for why Asmo should be a respectful roommate have disintegrated in the face of Asmo’s pure obstinance. “Besides, where would I take my partners if not to my room?”

“Their rooms. A car. A bathroom.  A dark alcove somewhere. I don’t care--anywhere else but here.”

Pls keep in mind a bunch of small notes:

-I haven’t seen Wicked, only listened to the soundtrack! I don’t remember what happened to make them room together/much of the plot hahaha. This is less of a wicked au and more a magical college au, whoooo~ -I made up so much shit for this. I was pulling lore outta my ass like nobody’s business -Everyone is human! -I skipped around a lot, so if there’s something that doesn’t make sense pls ask and I’ll clarify hahaha, I wanted to keep this short!! (is,.... 5k short...)

-

-

-

“We're all supposedly the best of the best, and yet none of us could stop a burst pipe," Solomon bemoans the status of their old dormitory.

“In our defense, it happened in the middle of the night and we had no idea what was going on?" Simeon offers, tilting his head with a sympathetic smile.

"But midway through the semester!" Solomon won't admit that the loss of one of his few friends being constantly at his side is more daunting than he thought it would be. Simeon is a phenomenal roommate, and understands Solomon better than anyone.

With the unfortunate mad dash to get all the affected students into new, undamaged rooms, the two of them are being split up, and now Solomon will have to get used to another, likely annoying roommate.

"I never realized you were this dependent on me." Simeon teases, and Solomon glares at him. Simeon swirls himself around in Solomon’s desk chair while Solomon walks by, cardboard box in his arms. Just to annoy him, his foot shoots out to stop Simeon mid-spin, and Simeon huffs, looking up at him.  

“Didn’t you say you were going to help?” Solomon asks.

Simeon laughs.

“You asked me to come help move boxes? I thought it was for sure because of you freaking out at getting a new roommate.” Solomon’s lips quirk downwards, and turns his head away with a scoff as he brings the box to the corner of his new dorm. Simeon props an elbow up on Solomon’s desk and watches the other.

“What could you possibly do to help with that?” Solomon asks, palm pressing to the box and releasing the sealing spell on it. “Do you have a solution for this?”

He gestures at the other half of the (thankfully) large room.

Instead of the traditional bunk bed and lower desk set like on Solomon's side of the room, the other half of the room consists of a large wardrobe as additional closet space, an extravagant vanity filled with beauty products, and a nest. A massive nest of pillows, sheets, and blankets—describing it feels ridiculous, but to look on its glory is surprisingly enticing. It does look… very comfortable.

“I think it looks rather nice,” Simeon examines the fairy lights strung up around the walls near the bed. The edges of his roommate's influence barely encroach onto what Solomon would consider to be his side, but as he’s the one imposing on this person’s space halfway into the year… he’ll bite his tongue.

Realistically, there’s no reason for RAD to have shared dorm rooms--the school is prestigious enough that each student could probably get their own living suite… but the chancellor of their particular location is the direct son of the president. He’s a bit eccentric, and enthusiastically vocal about the benefits of shared dorms as integral to the relationships they develop with their peers.

(There are things Solomon’s heard of him too: how he’s the youngest person in his role, how despite the accusations of nepotism he’s completely taken the magical community by storm in his unconventional approach to education.

An interesting man that Solomon would enjoy meeting face to face, rather than admire on a podium, even if he is quite handsome.)

Simeon purses his lips, before snapping his fingers, “A privacy screen?”

Solomon rolls his eyes hard enough that they feel like falling out of his sockets.

“I don’t know why you’re so up in arms about this. I’m sure your roommate will be fine,” Simeon says then, gentle--Solomon looks at the opposite side of the room and has his doubts. “It’ll be good for you to try making more than three friends, you know.”

Taking the books out of the box and lining them up on the shelves of the book case, Solomon tosses a glance back at Simeon.

Simeon isn’t wrong.

Solomon could be the most powerful sorcerer in the world, but it means absolutely nothing if he can’t effectively operate in the modern magical community. Maybe if he was born several hundred years earlier he could have swept up the world in the sheer magnitude of his power, but nowadays, politics infect everything. Solomon can’t patent a spell to wipe his ass without a sponsor, and no one wants to sponsor the intense kid with a bad attitude.

His ability to cast magic without any kind of aide or incantation launched him into the spotlight at an early age. Solomon has always been aware of what other people thought of him. When empty praise didn’t ingratiate his sycophants to him, it just as easily turned to criticism; kids are cruel, after all. As a result, Solomon has always struggled connecting with others.

By the time he realized he would have to work on his people skills to get anywhere, he was halfway through high school with a bad reputation, no friends, and no open doors.

(Funnily enough, it was around the same time that he met Simeon that he realized he needed to be less of an asshole if he was to ever get anywhere in life.

Simeon has been integral in teaching Solomon "how to person", as he puts it.)

“Who’s your new roommate, anyway?” Simeon asks when Solomon doesn’t respond to his comment. “I don’t think you said their name.”

"Did I not?” Solomon hums, “It’s someone named Mephistopheles.”

“Mephistopheles?” Simeon parrots, head tilting to the side, “Didn’t he get expelled?”

As Solomon opens his mouth to question Simeon, the door handle jiggles as someone unlocks it.

It swings open unceremoniously, followed by the quiet moans and shuffling of clothes as two people stumble inside the threshold. Simeon and Solomon can only watch in stunned silence as the taller, curly haired man presses a shorter woman against the wall, his face fully obscured in the curve of her neck as he lavishes it in open mouthed kisses.

Her eyelids flutter, he must be doing a great job--but the second she makes eye contact with Solomon, she shrieks.

“Asmo, Asmo wait--” The girl bats at his chest, her face bright red, “There’s people here!” Asmo pulls his face away from her skin to look at the room, a gorgeous smile on his face as he notices the others does not falter in the slightest.

“Oh, you’re Solomon!” Asmo smiles, before looking at Simeon, “And you’re Simeon. Lovely to meet you both.” Solomon looks at Simeon for some kind of hint as to what the fuck he should do here,  but Simeon also seems at a loss. Before either of them can say anything, Asmo slides a hand up the girl’s side to cup her cheek, speaking to them even as he stares deep into her eyes.

“Now, would the two of you kindly get out?”

-

-

-

The rest of living with Asmo is pretty much a continued repeat of their first meeting. Multiple times a week, sometimes once or twice in a day. Solomon has no fucking clue how someone like Asmo gets any schoolwork done, or hell, when the other gets sleep?

Regardless, it’s two weeks of Asmo getting laid and Solomon not getting proper amounts of sleep, and he’s sick of it.

“There need to be,” Solomon grimaces, swirling around in his desk chair but faltering as Asmo emerges from the bathroom, toweling his hair and jeans hanging low on his hips, “...ground rules.”

Asmo tilts his head, “Rules?” He says the words like it’s a foreign language, new and clunky in his pretty mouth. Solomon wants to sock him.

“You can’t keep bringing partners back here,” Solomon says. Asmo goes back to toweling his perfect fucking hair.

“And why is that?”

“I can’t concentrate on coursework or go to bed if you’ve got someone moaning in your bed every other night.”

“Sounds like a personal problem,” Asmo sniffs, and Solomon very quickly finds the situation slipping through his fingers. All of his phenomenally constructed arguments for why Asmo should be a respectful roommate have disintegrated in the face of Asmo’s pure obstinance. “Besides, where would I take my partners if not to my bedroom?”

“Their rooms. A dark alcove somewhere. A car. A bathroom. I don’t care--anywhere else but here.”

Asmo ponders this for a moment, before he shrugs his shoulders as he walks across the room to his drawers by the window, “Nope. I don’t think that’s considerate for them.” He digs through to presumably find a shirt, and Solomon bites the bullet.

“You’re on academic probation, aren’t you?” Solomon says, and Asmo freezes with his back turned to Solomon, tension evident in the line of his shoulders. When he turns around, his expression is colder than anything Solomon’s ever seen directed at him. In his brother Levi’s words, there it is: the infamous Bitch Smile.

“I didn’t know you cared about gossip,” Asmo looks like a dragon picking his teeth with human bones as he sits against the window sill.

The afternoon light drifting in through the sheer curtains casts him in an ethereal glow, and Solomon bites back his unnecessary request for Asmo to move out of such flattering lighting so he can negotiate with him properly.

“I don’t, which is how I know it’s true.”

“And? What? You’re going to try and blackmail me with this information?” Asmo sneers, but even crippling distaste is an attractive look for the other.

“Don’t be ridiculous,” Solomon scoffs, “I’m offering to tutor you.”

Asmo blinks at that.

“I won’t tell anyone. You know my grades. Half of our required classes are together, so it’s not like it would put me under any more stress than not sleeping. And I’m not unreasonable,” Solomon says, “If you must bring people over, just let me know in advance and I’ll go to a coffee shop or the library. I do need to sleep, so I want them out by nine or ten at the latest.”

Asmo doesn’t immediately say no like Solomon thought he would, so things are already going much better than he expected. However, it still does not prepare him for Asmo’s response.

“Fine. Is that all you want?” He asks, and Solomon pointedly ignores the double entendre.  

“I want one of the shelves in the bathroom cabinet,” Solomon blurts, because Asmo has too many beauty products and there’s no space for him in the current set up. Asmo’s brow rises, even as his mouth twist into a wry, surprised smile.

“Maybe.”

“I can work with maybe,” Solomon smiles in return, standing and extending his hand out for a shake. “It’s a deal, then?”

Asmo stares at the hand, his expression unreadable, before something seems to break. He pushes off the window sill and in a few short strides, huffing with laughter, “What’s with the handshake? So formal.”

Solomon doesn’t rise to the bait even if there is a light dusting of pink on his cheeks. This is the first time they’ve touched, he realizes as his magic hums as Asmo’s hand is warm and steady in his own.

“It’s a deal.” Asmo says, and there’s a hint of interest in his eyes as he seems to see Solomon in a new light.

-

-

-

Solomon doesn’t mean to overhear it. He spends so much time in RAD’s library that it’s essentially his second home.

“How’s your shady roommate?” He hears a voice say, and it’s familiar enough to jarr Solomon from his thoughts.

A tinkling laugh, and Solomon blinks in realization. Asmo? Solomon tries to not eavesdrop, tries so hard to not let his interest wander from the potion formula in front of him, because it really has been giving him trouble...

“He’s not bad. Too stiff. Looks great when he comes out of the shower,” Asmo purrs. Solomon feels the bright pink blush rise to his cheeks. They’re talking openly about this in a library, of all places. RAD’s library is unreasonably huge, though--even on a busy weekday, one could be several aisles away from another human being in this space.

They’re both taking the same potions class, so it’s not too far off the mark that they’d both be in the same area looking for reading materials. Solomon should really just leave before he hears anything else that makes his ears burn.

“I don’t trust him.” Asmo’s brother, Satan, says. Of course. Solomon grinds his teeth. Asmo hmms.

“He definitely has a weird powerful vibe about him. I don’t blame you. His face just looks like he’s up to something,” Solomon swallows the spike of hurt that hits at Asmo’s words, even if he’s heard them before. Two months since he started tutoring Asmo. Three months since he moved in. Their cohabitation isn’t domestic, but it is at least civil. “I’ve seen him sleep but I don’t believe it, you know? I’ve never seen him do anything for fun. He’s so pent up and proper that I’m not sure how he does it.”

“He doesn’t.” Satan tsks, “You’ve heard about what happened, right?” Solomon feels his blood run cold.

That was different. It was an accident. He was a child. He was weak then. Solomon would never do anything like that on purpose again. Surely, surely Asmo wouldn’t--

“Of course! It figures though, all the super powerful kids are fucked in the head. But other than that, he’s not bad.”

But he’s not bad. But he’s not bad. As if Solomon would ever settle for not bad after such an callous description of his person. Fury, the kind that makes his magic churn under his skin at a rolling boil, rises in him: at Satan, at Asmo, at himself for.. For what? Believing that Asmo may actually have been different? That they could have been friends?

“What was that?” Satan asks, likely sensing the swirl of Solomon’s magic.

Cursing inwardly, he wrangles his wild emotions under control through years of practice. He will not prove them right. Solomon closes his textbook. His chair screeches against the floor as he stands, Satan and Asmo crossing out of the aisle into the open study area where Solomon has been seated, completely unhidden.

“Were you eavesdropping?” Satan accuses, his bright green eyes sharp and disdainful.

Years and years of diligently studying. Never losing his temper. His single minded determination to better himself has erected a wall that others look on in contempt. Do not prove them right about you, Solomon tells himself, nails digging into his palms hard enough to leave red crescent marks. Do not let the rumors be true.

He cannot look at Asmo, so instead, he smiles at Satan.

“No,” Solomon laughs, and the politeness in it is so fake that it hurts, “I was studying for the same test that Asmo is studying for. Voices carry quite well in a library.”

Satan glances at Asmo, but Solomon still cannot look at him. Tossing his book haphazardly into his bag, he throws it over his shoulder.

“I’ll leave the two of you to it, then.”

-

-

-

“Solomon, hey, wait!” Solomon is not running away, but he has a very brisk pace and does not feel bad when Asmo has to job to catch up with him. “Listen, about what I said--”

Solomon stops sharply enough that Asmo almost runs into him, but Solomon uses his magic to help steady Asmo. It isn’t to be helpful, it’s to stop Asmo from getting close enough to touch him, as if that will protect him from all of these hurt, churning emotions. He exhales through his nose.

“Since you’re actually taking the time to go to the library… I don’t think you need my help anymore.” Solomon forces himself to look at Asmo, steeling himself against whatever petulant expression is probably on the other’s face.

“Right?”

Asmo’s face is not petulant in the slightest. He seems… upset? Solomon feels the beast snarl inside him, a lick of rage at the downtrodden expression on the other’s face. He gets caught shit talking him openly and then has the gall to look hurt when he gets his free tutoring cut off? Asmo’s family is disgustingly rich and well connected. Let him lose his pride and ask them for help.

Solomon will last the year. He and Simeon will room together next year. Asmodeus will not be what breaks him.

Asmo falters at the intensity of Solomon’s gaze, the severity of his words.

“... Right.” Asmo says, and Solomon lets his feet carry him away before either of them say anything else.

- - -

After a week of tense, peaceful avoidance, Satan dropping into the seat opposite him at the campus coffee shop is the last thing Solomon expects.

“I apologize for my conduct the other day.”

Solomon blinks at him.

What is Satan doing here? Irritation immediately blossoms in his chest--he may not be furious anymore, but that doesn’t mean he wants to see Satan, nor had he expected to.

After cancelling their tutoring sessions, he’s made it a point to spend as little time in their (when had it become their room? It was always Asmo’s room at first) room as possible. Sure, it means spending garbage amounts of money on overpriced coffee and shitty wi-fi when the library gets too stuffy, but at least he can breathe.

None of that explains why Satan is here. Apologizing to him. Surely it must be some kind of a trap? A childish prank? Really? Would Asmo stoop so low? He doesn’t know either of these brothers enough to truly say. It’s best for him to be polite for now, until he can figure out Satan’s true motiv--

“You realize that a lot of people don’t trust you because there’s a moment on your face where you look like you’re actively plotting, and then you say some polite nonsense,” Satan says, and Solomon’s brain stops like a record screeching.

“Is this really an apology.” Solomon says, drily. Satan shrugs his shoulders.

“That was an observation. This is the apology.” Satan clears his throat, looking Solomon straight in the eyes. “It was unbecoming of me to speak of you like that in public. I should know better, and I’m sorry.”

“It’s what you thought,” Solomon says, because it’s true. It’s what they all think, and for a good chunk of his life, Solomon rarely tried to make them think differently.

“It was ignorant.” Satan’s bright green eyes stare into his own, and Solomon senses no dishonesty in his words. When Solomon speaks, he finds that he actually might believe them.

“Apology accepted.” Now leave me alone.

Satan narrows his eyes, “Really?” Solomon resists the urge to pinch the bridge of his nose.

“Yes, really.”

“Will you speak to my brother again, then?”

“It’s a little presumptuous of you to ask for my forgiveness and a favor in the same breath.”

“Asmo flunked the last test,” Satan says, in lieu of a proper answer, “He’s in a world of shit at the moment.”

“Why doesn’t he try flirting with the professor?” Solomon scoffs.

Satan props his chin up on his hand with a lopsided smile that’s far more relaxed than he’s ever seen from the fourth brother, “That’s the thing, he hasn’t. Lucifer chewed him out about it and he took it with his tail between his legs rather than kick up a fit about it too.” Solomon’s quick mind lets him skip over the next lines of whatever shitty banter they’ve got to reach Satan’s point.

“You want me to tutor him again.” Solomon asks in disbelief, despite himself. Satan snorts and leans back.

“Nothing so pedantic as that,” Satan waves the notion away, “Just stop avoiding him at every turn, and hear what he has to say. If you’re still mad at him after that, then that’s perfectly reasonable too, considering my brother is one of the biggest assholes to ever exist. He’s unbearably dramatic when he gets into fights with his friends.”

“... Friends?”

Satan stares at him like he’s grown another head, “Obviously.”

Solomon laughs so hard, he’s sure that he’s confirmed all of Satan’s weird opinions of him.

-

-

-

“Solomon?” Asmo breathes his name, hand lingering on the doorknob as he enters the room to see Solomon sitting in his desk chair.

“Satan talked to me,” Solomon says, reveling in the stunned look on Asmo’s face, before crossing his arms, ”He apologized for what he said. And then he asked me to at least hear you out because you’re sulking.”  Asmo pouts at Satan’s words, and Solomon quirks his brow.

“Is he wrong?”

In response to this, Asmo’s face looks pained, lips pressing together as he glances to the side. He’s like a petulant child, Solomon thinks, even if he’s somehow still amused by the other’s expression.

When Asmo looks at Solomon, and he throws his hands up in the air,  “I shouldn’t have said it. There, are you happy?”

“Not really,” Solomon admits, “I understand why your brother might think that of me, but to hear it from someone that I’m helping out...” He adds a little bit of a softer, sadder tone to his voice to make Asmo writhe, and ha, does it work.

Asmo groans, ruffling his hands through his hair, “Alright, I’m a dick! Are you happy? I’m a gossipy bitch and I say things I shouldn’t. You helped me out and I.. took advantage of it. I’m sorry!” Asmo’s arms cross, and he looks so genuinely uncomfortable that Solomon wants to laugh.  

“You’re terrible at this. I was confused as to why Satan might say I can still be mad at you after you say your piece but.. I get it. You’re even worse than he is at it, dare I say.”

“You haven’t met our eldest brother,” Asmo sniffs, before continuing, “Besides, words and emotions are hard, bodies are easier,” Asmo shrugs, like it’s the simplest thing in the world.

“You sound like a bad high school drama,” Solomon scoffs, rolling over Asmo’s affronted gasp, “In any case, I heard you flunked the last test we shared. Maybe if you spent less time flirting with the TA in that class, you could retain the information on the board.” Solomon brings his knuckles to his chin, holding his elbow in his other palm.

“It can’t be helped. If we can get you set up with some extra credit there and you ace the next few exams that should keep your grade above water.” Solomon runs the numbers in his head, but Asmo is waving his hands in the air.

“Wait, wait, waaaait! You’re forgiving me?”

“I’m considering it. You have to make it up to me somehow, but as for the tutoring.. we’re too close to exams for me to want to deal with another roommate if you get yourself suspended. I don’t have blackmail material on anyone else, unfortunately.” Solomon’s kidding about the blackmail, but Asmo deserves a little ribbing after that awful apology.

Although Asmo doesn’t seem offended by the joke. No, it actually seems to be... the opposite? As he speaks, Asmo’s looking at him with a blinding smile.

“Are you listening to me?” Solomon frowns, knocked off balance by Asmo’s expression, “Because if you aren’t, I swear i’m going to--”

A flurry of motion, Asmo crosses the space of their room quicker than Solomon’s ever seen him.

Asmo’s hand cups his face, the other lands on his hip; Solomon has very little time to think, because Asmo’s gorgeous face is in centimeters away from his own. The scent of Asmo’s perfume fills his senses, rendering him stunned--Asmo glances down at his parted lips, and then back up at Solomon’s eyes.

Asmo kisses him, and Solomon’s magic blows out the fuses in their entire building.

-

-

-

In the chaos of their plunge into darkness, Solomon’s hands shooting out to shove Asmo back accidentally activates his magic, and Asmo stumbles a few paces further before falling to the ground.

“Ah,” Asmo yelps, at the same time Solomon rises from his seat, “What the hell, Asmo?”

They’re not in total darkness, thanks to the dim light from the streetlamps outside, but it still takes Solomon’s eyes a few seconds to adjust. Asmo’s vague form is still seated on the floor, propped up on his elbows.

“What was that?” He demands, still haunted by the firm press of Asmo’s lips against his. Asmo shifts to get up, and Solomon’s arm immediately reaches out to offer his assistance. Asmo huffs at the motion, but takes his hand anyway.

“I thought I could make it up to you this way.”

“By offering to, what, make out with me?” Solomon says, disbelief mounting. Asmo shrugs his shoulders, one hand trailing up Solomon’s hip.

“Sure, we could do that. We could do whatever you want,” and now that Solomon’s eyes have adjusted to the dim lighting, he can see the coy smile playing at Asmo’s lips, “I see how you look at me, how could you not? Besides, you’re quite handsome yourself…” Asmo purrs, his free hand reaching up to graze against Solomon’s blushing cheeks.

For a moment, Solomon hesitates--Asmo is gorgeous. Even if Solomon were deaf to the campus’ adoration of him, he would have to be blind as well to not realize that just by existing near Asmo. There’s always a mix of challenging and inviting in his eyes, an ease that shows itself in all of his movements. Asmo exudes a level of sensual energy that is a powerful skill in its own right, and Solomon is a healthy young adult…

But Solomon has no desire to fall into Asmo’s bed like another one of his hundreds of admirers, clamoring to get into the other’s bed space. He has more important things in mind.  

“That’s not what I meant by making it up to me!” Solomon is very proud of his voice not cracking as he pushes Asmo’s hand away, and the coquettish expression is quickly replaced by Asmo’s pout.

“Well, how else am I supposed to show you how truly repentant I am!” He whines at his failed seduction.

“I can’t even begin to explain how screwed up that is, Asmo.” Solomon groans, running his hand through his hair, “You could have offered me another shelf in the bathroom cabinet or more sink space and I would have considered it a start.”  

Asmo blinks, tilting his head to the side, “... Really? That’s all you want?” He seems stunned that someone would turn down his body.

“Now that I know you were going to offer your body, half of the sink sounds too fucking small, doesn’t it?” Solomon retorts, and Asmo laughs.

A loud knock startles both of them out of their conversation, and he hears the muffled voice of their RA from the other side.

“Are you alright in there? There’s been a power outage -- will you be alright casting magelight, or do you need flashlights?”

Solomon, in desperate need of a reprieve from Asmo’s… Asmo-ness… goes to open the door as the RA speaks. After a quick exchange of assuring the doting senior in their pajamas, Solomon shuts the door with a sigh. When he turns around, Asmo is seated in his desk chair with a soft pink magelight floating idly nearby. Asmo seems to be deep in thought, and Solomon approaches him with slight hesitation.

As soon as Solomon gets closer, Asmo’s gaze snaps up to look at him so suddenly that Solomon almost balks.

“I know what I can do for you,” Asmo says, his eyes twinkling with mischief and utter glee. The pink light casts an almost eerie, and somehow still enticing shadow on the other’s face.  

Solomon isn’t too proud to admit he’s terrified by whatever Asmo is about to offer.

-

-

-

“... So you didn’t sleep with him?” Simeon asks, and Solomon chokes on his tea.

“What! Of course not!” He coughs through his instantaneous response, pounding his fist on his chest. “He said… oh hell, I can’t say this, it’s ridiculous.” Solomon covers his face with his hands, an unbidden blush rising to his cheeks.

“He said he was going to make me popular,” Solomon groans, a little quieter in volume. Simeon is silent for a long enough time that Solomon takes his face out of his hands to look at him questioningly, but Simeon’s got one hand over his mouth as he shakes in stifled amusement.

“Wh--” At Solomon’s confused expression, Simeon is unable to contain himself any longer, bursting into a loud fit of laughter. Simeon throws his arms around Solomon in a crushing hug, even as Solomon tries to shove his way out of it.

“Oh, this is going to be great.”  

-

-

-

I feel like this would definitely be considered #crack or #ooc slightly because it’s always hard to translate personalities that are defined by specific experiences (such as being alive for thousands of years) into any AU, but especially ones where they’re only 19/20 year olds lmaaoo

Facets of their personalities I tried to keep: Solomon’s ambition/the fact that people think he’s so shifty, and Asmo’s sexual bravado/blatant insecurities of his person. Who knows if that comes off here, but hey, I had fun lkajflaks

As always, ty for reading!!! I appreciate your kind words and responses on my stuff ;w;

[littlelovelymemes]

✰ * º ❛ even more popular text posts ask meme. ❜

‘  my kink is getting some fuckin sleep.  ’ ‘  omg here goes your lil crybaby ass.  ’ ‘  the beatles wouldn’t even fucking exist if big time rush hadn’t paved the path for them so shut the fuck up.  ’ ‘  don’t start buddy. don’t you dare.  ’ ‘  gay rights? true, as a gay, i am always right.  ’ ‘  not to vent, but: fuck.  ’ ‘  the worst pain is to make small talk with someone you once told everything to.  ’ ‘  i think i accidentally break my own heart a lot.  ’ ‘  sometimes ‘brb’ stands for ‘be ready bitch’ so you have to be careful.  ’ ‘  i want to kiss you in a way that makes you not want to kiss anyone else ever again.  ’ ‘  shout out to the people who are still friends with me even though i’m a fucking idiot.  ’ ‘  it’s safe to assume that at any given moment i want to go back to bed.  ’ ‘  i’m a big fan of anything that will help me chill the fuck out.  ’ ‘  i don’t go through people’s pictures on their phone cause i wasn’t raised in the jungle.  ’ ‘  i think we, as a people, just need to have a glass of water.  ’ ‘  i don’t have enough black clothes.  ’ ‘  sweetie, i could sleep for ten years and i’d still be tired.  ’ ‘  i would sleep so much better with your arms wrapped around me.  ’ ‘  me??? tired??? sleepy??? yes, constantly.  ’ ‘  i’m pb&j -- petty, bitter, and jealous.  ’ ‘  the fact that sloths aren’t extinct somehow proves that if you go at your own pace and mind your own fucking business you too can succeed.  ’ ‘  i wish i could be the person i want to be, but i’m too tired.  ’ ‘  i always look sleep deprived. is that hot?  ’ ‘  just because there’s always room for improvement doesn’t mean you’ll never be good enough.  ’ ‘  my heart is a soft and sensitive mess.  ’ ‘  all i want is a big garden and no responsibilities.  ’ ‘  honestly someone not liking beyonce is a deal breaker and not for any political reasons, but just like you’re probably, definitely really boring.  ’ ‘  hey guys, i’m a huge fan of genuine love and affection.  ’ ‘  now i’m falling asleep and she’s calling a crab and he’s having a smoke and she’s kissing the crab.  ’ ‘  i’ve been ever since i heard ‘lonely’ by akon at 9 years-old.  ’ ‘  my new years resolution is to stop.  ’ ‘  i’m irritated cause i’m not lovable in a romantic soulmate way.  ’ ‘  i hate knowing that people that ruined parts of me still live and function like nothing ever happened.  ’ ‘  i know i’m cute, but you can remind me.  ’ ‘  hey, just wondering, but are you fucking kidding me????  ’ ‘  i can’t wait to be in love with someone who is also deepfuck in love with me and we love each other forever n’ ever.  ’ ‘  me? clingy? yes. please don’t leave me.  ’ ‘  girlfriend application compatibility question: do you keep your depression pile on the bed or on the floor?  ’ ‘  anything heart shaped is automatically 200% better. this is a fact.  ’ ‘  today’s agenda: screaming into the abyss.  ’ ‘  going from ‘today is a good day’ to ‘i hate my life’ takes me approximately 2.6 seconds.  ’ ‘  everyone needs to wash their face and go to bed.  ’ ‘  i’m worth so much more than the ways i’ve been treated.  ’ ‘  hey, can i claim you guys as dependents on my taxes?  ’ ‘  i really just ignore phone calls. like leave a message. i don’t check those either but like  ’ ‘  i honestly just want to pack my bags and go travel the world and see and explore everything possible.  ’ ‘  remember being little and thinking dandelions were fun or a pretty color or something and every adult in an 80 mile radius wouldn’t let you say that without screaming IT’S A WEED.  ’ ‘  why did we just accept catdog?  ’ ‘  my ‘stay in bed all day’ game’s too strong.  ’ ‘  you deserve to be loved without having to hide the parts of yourself that you think are unlovable.  ’ ‘  i always forget that i literally don’t owe anyone anything!  ’ ‘  i wonder what it feels like to know what the fuck is going on.  ’ ‘  honestly... us girls? us women? we always out here, knowin.  ’ ‘  would an alien think i’m pretty?  ’ ‘  i love boys, but only as a concept.  ’ ‘  why do parents get mad when you sleep in all day? like i’m staying out of trouble and i’m not spending your money like what’s the issue here????  ’ ‘  i identify as an inconvenience to the world.  ’ ‘  i seriously regret telling anyone, anything, ever lmao  ’ ‘  dating me is like dating a five year-old. i need all of your attention and i’m cranky if i haven’t had a nap.  ’ ‘  i’m literally tired of myself.  ’ ‘  don’t introduce me to ur parents unless you plan on marrying me because they’re going to love me and ask about me for the rest of your life lol  ’ ‘  what the hell is a straight person? only straight thing i know about is the edge of my beloved sword.  ’ ‘  i highly recommend never having feelings.  ’ ‘  self care is going into a cornfield at night to get abducted by aliens.  ’ ‘  staying up late with another human is such a weird thing like you get this special bond and a what-is-this feeling  ’ ‘  do u ever feel like ur not even friends with ur friends?  ’ ‘  um no offense but whom’st’ve going to loveth me?  ’ ‘  date a girl who fucks everything up.  ’ ‘  not all who mcfreakin wander are mcfreakin lost.  ’ ‘  i may legally be an adult but don’t be fooled. i have no idea what i’m doing.  ’ ‘  a fun and interesting fact about me is that i’m a fucking idiot.  ’ ‘  you can start again anytime!  ’ ‘  all you can do is learn your lesson. there’s no point in wishing you had did differently. the past is the past.  ’ ‘  i can’t believe an angel like me has to suffer so much.  ’ ‘  you’re all so obsessed with love and being loved. what about just going to sleep?  ’ ‘  i’m smart, but i do dumb shit anyway.  ’ ‘  tbh i never deal with my emotions. i just let them ravage my body and then go to bed and then i wake up and do it all over again.  ’ ‘  first of all: i don’t know shit, so jot that down.  ’ ‘  i’ll just ¯\ _(ツ)_/¯ my way through life.  ’ ‘  i’m tired of things costing money.  ’ ‘  don’t you hate it when you’re dead inside and run out of apps to refresh?  ’ ‘  who cares? do better, move on.  ’ ‘  i don’t need a significant other. just a significant income.  ’ ‘  appreciation for everyone who’s ever talked to me bc i’m annoying and dumb.  ’ ‘  thnks fr th mntl llnss.  ’ ‘  what  hasn’t killed me has just made me overly sensitive and defensive.  ’ ‘  i don’t know shit ya’ll!!!!! i’m just out here.  ’ ‘  binge-watching is great until you run out of the show and have to start watching it weekly like some sort of medieval peasant.  ’ ‘  i’m in the wrong realm and i think everyone can tell.  ’ ‘  this might come as a shock but I’m Not Feelin too good my dudes.  ’ ‘  i’m alive, but only ironically.  ’ ‘  there she goes again being over dramatic and by she, i mean me.  ’ ‘  do you ever feel like have tried Too Hard to a friend and now you have become That Obnoxious Weirdo?  ’ ‘  lgbt: lasagna! garfield’s beloved treat.  ’ ‘  my favorite phrase in the english language is ‘i shit you not.’  ’ ‘  i’m a real boring bitch! a snoozer!  ’ ‘  i honestly look so good lounging in an oversized t-shirt and no pants. when will someone experience the blessing of domestic living w/ me?  ’ ‘  you don’t understand how hard it is to take a selfie when you’re ugly.  ’ ‘  you son of a mumford!  ’ ‘  hi, i’m here to ruin everything.  ’ ‘  you can tell a lot about a person by looking at their hands. for example, if it’s a skeleton hand then they’re dead.  ’ ‘  the year is 2020 and i am found guilty of treason against the united states for vague blogging that i hate someone and donald trump thought it was about him.  ’ ‘  everybody calm down, we’re going to be fine! :))) we’ve weathered worse than this! :) :) :) :) really all this panic just seems like a huge overreaction imho   ’ ‘  no beta readers. we publish our crap writing like men.  ’ ‘  i need $$$$$ not feelings.  ’ ‘  ‘idk imma see’ = i ain’t coming, never was coming, never considered it, never gave it a single thought, only remembered cause you asked again.  ’ ‘  oops, i don’t care lol  ’ ‘  why girls always crop the halo out of their selfies? stop being so modest. we know the truth.  ’ ‘  maurice, you’re not gonna fucking believe this,  ’ ‘  i always get told i look like a bitch bc i’m always glaring while i walk, but i’m not glaring, i’m squinting. i have sensitive eyes. they’re watering.  ’ ‘  concept: it’s 3 am. candle lit room. a record is spinning. you’re kissing me. we have no worries in the world. we’re warm and content.  ’ ‘  i need to go into the forest and scream for an hour and a half.  ’ ‘  pls kill all men who yell at girls from cars.  ’ ‘  life really isn’t what i expected it to be. less quicksand. almost no quicksand to be honest. lots of metaphorical quicksand tho.  ’ ‘  i have a question for u: like are u done... like is it over?  ’ ‘  we all have that one person who ruins your day by being alive.  ’ ‘  we all have that one person who ruins your day by being alive. for me, it’s myself.  ’ ‘  whenever i see police i always try not to act suspicious and fail internally even though i never did anything wrong.  ’ ‘  new years resolution: less bitter, more glitter.  ’

[jerkcobain]

How i want to grow this year!

11/18/19 3:35pm

1. Learn to not take everything so personally

I have a tendency to get defensive if someone points out something I'm self-conscious about. For instance T was telling me about parasocial relationships and used the example of me and the garden (lmao) and instead of taking it on the chin and shooting a joke back at him, I took it way too personally and basically tried to argue my way out of it even though I totally do have a parasocial relationship with them and most other celebrities lol.

It's very hard to not immediately react, so I'm going to try to take a beat and tell myself it's not personal and that they're not attacking me. That being said, being sensitive to my own feelings is not a bad thing! In fact that leads me to my next thing

2. Learn to notice and communicate feelings as they’re occurring

This is extremely hard!!!!! But in the long run its going to save so much time and frustration for both of us. Next time T or anyone says something to you that doesnt sit well, just straight up tell him “that hurt my feelings”

This goes for all other emotions too! Good and bad! Tell T when youre feeling tired, sad, gross, and especially TELL HIM WHEN YOU FEEL HAPPY! That way there is no guessing on his part or making him feel like he’s done something wrong when he hasnt AND then he knows that youre having a blast just by being with him!

3. Wear what you want

Don’t worry so much about what T might find you attractive in. Sure he’s not gonna love all of your outfits, but if you’re feeling good then thats all that matters. This goes a little with dont take things so personally, but the next time he comments something negative about something youre wearing tell him “well I like it so too bad” or “i feel good in this” or simply “mind your business!” he will LOVE that you’re being assertive, and you’ll feel way more confident 

4. Become a better listener for T

he’s not the type to opening share his feelings either. In fact he’s much more eager to hear mine. But he has his own stress, worries, dreams, fantasies etc and i want him to feel like he can tell me all of it!

so this really ties in with the first thing. If he’s telling you something that pertains to your relationship, you cannot take it personally. You must do your best to listen and understand where he is coming from. You cannot make him feel like if he opens up that you will judge or yell at him. Make sure to offer him comfort and THANK HIM FOR OPENING UP. 

5 Take a Break

if youre in a heated conversation about awkward feelings and things, don’t be afraid to tell T you need a minute to collect your thoughts but you really want to continue the conversation

leave the room and do your best to calm down. Think about where he is coming from and consider both of yalls emotions. This is your time to make your thoughts clear so that you can communicate to him exactly what you want/need/feel. 

6 Come up with code words for complicated feelings

this is really silly and i saw it in a relationship advice video lolololol but it made a lot of sense!

Find a pattern with your emotions, things that often come up and fix them with a simple code word so you dont feel like you have to explain yourself over and over again but also so that T can understand exactly what youre feeling and vice versa

some feelings i’d like to have a code word for:

I’m feeling really ashamed for not having a job yet and its making me feel helpless and like a burden

I miss my mom, I’d like to hang out with her soon

I miss my brother, I would like to hang out with him soon

I feel like i need a girly/ pamper night

I feel gross for no apparent reason and i probably just need to wash my face but i promise it has nothing to do with you

something news/politics related has upset me and it has nothing to do with you

I’m feeling really insecure about my body rn could you compliment me

I’m feeling really insecure about my body rn pls do not mention my appearance in any way

I’m feeling really sexy and playful

I feel really uncomfortable in this situation can we leave

I am tired of socializing can we leave

I am having a really good time and i would like to stay longer than planned

I’m really tired and not really in the talking mood

I’m really tired and i just want to be quiet by myself for a bit

We’ve entered into a topic that is very serious and tricky (example: # of children we’ll have/ are we having a wedding etc) and i am not in the right frame of mind for it

I am tired of being in this room but i also dont want to leave the bed

I am tired of being in this room and i would like to leave

I dont want to talk about my day, something happened that bummed me out

I dont want to talk about my day, but everything is okay

I feel lonely, its probably bc we’ve both been on our phones for a while or bc you’ve been gaming

I dont know what to wear and i want you to genuinely tell me which outfit you like better

I dont know what to wear and i do not want your input

I have feelings to share and i want your advice

I have feelings to share but i just want you to listen and comfort me

I feel like i’m being annoying and i am sorry

I cannot match your energy level rn please do not take it personally

I am fucking hangry and i’m going to kill myself and every one near me if you talk to me

I am approaching hangry, sorry if I seem quiet or distant i just need to eat

I want to listen to music but i dont know what i want to hear and i also dont want to interrupt your radio time lol

You’ve been playing games for a while now and i miss you

Please keep playing your game i am having fun by myself

You have really hurt my feelings and i need a minute to myself and i love you

I am confused by my own emotions and I need a minute to figure them out

Please stop making fun of what i’m wearing, I felt really cute and now i feel ugly

I feel extremely stressed and anxious and i might snap at you I’m really sorry 

I’m really worried about you and i would like to know what is on your mind

I’m really worried about you and I think it has something to do with me but I’m not sure

I do not know how to comfort you rn and I’m sorry but could you tell me what you need/ want from me so you can feel better

I feel depressed right now and there is nothing you can do

I feel depressed right now but theres something you could do to help

I feel depressed right now and i do not know how i want to be comforted

I feel depressed right now and i have no idea what caused it or how to make it better

I know you were only joking but i took it personally and hurt my own feelings 

I have been thinking about something you or I did/said a while ago and I know i should have said something back then but its been bugging me so can we please have a conversation about it now

I hate all of the clothes that i own rn and this outfit was the best that i could do but i still feel really ugly pls be nice to me lol

I think I just said something really mean and i instantly regret it and I would like to apologize to you

I didnt realize what i just said/did was mean and i will try to avoid saying/doing that in the future and i would like to apologize

I feel like this argument might escalate and i am not ready for it

I am in an argumentative mood, i’m sorry please just dont talk to me

I feel like this conversation got out of hand and is now an argument but i am not sure how it happened and i would like it to stop and hug you

I’m feeling really homesick even tho i am already home

I am overthinking the hell out of this and i need you to talk me down but please do not be condescending or tell me to “stop worrying”

I know i asked you to explain this thing to me but you sound really condescending

I just fucked up a really basic math problem, be nice to me bc I am already threatening myself with suicide lol

lol okay i’ll stop there but i will add to the list the more i think about it