#me and my friend after getting jamba juice yesterday

[teenbiology]

what starbucks™ drink are the tlou girls ordering?

ellie has had a frappuccino once even though joel said it’s “not really coffee” (she ordered it just to spite him) only to fucking hate it so she gets random shit but when she needs energy she gets cold brews for sure with extra cream

dina is smart and knows what she likes and what will wake her up — she gets a vanilla latte with an alternative milk ;)

abby says she’s an expresso shots/black coffee all the way but she’s been caught enjoying a refresher or a tea with fruit in it on some occasions

[xoxoladyaz]

I'm Gonna Getcha Good

(Female Steve Harrington x Eddie Munson, Canon Divergence, Originally published on AO3)

A/N: I'm hoping to have updates for the Paramedic series and the final installment of "It Hits Different" up this weekend, but until then, enjoy part one of my series in which Stevie Harrington is just as obsessed with Eddie as he is with her!

“This is getting really sad, Harrington.”

Robin’s voice snaps Stevie out of her stupor, causing her to drop her ice cream scooper on the ground for the third time that day. Shit.

“I mean, seriously, Eddie Munson?”

“I know,” she groans, sparing one last look out into the food court. Eddie didn’t come to Starcourt all that often, but he usually parked himself next to the Jamba Juice with his friends when he did, which meant that Stephanie got to ogle him for the approximate fifteen minutes it took for him to slurp down his smoothie.

“Like, if there’s anyone out there who hates your guts more than me, it’s him,” Robin continues, disbelief coloring her words.

Stevie shut her eyes and exhaled sharply. It’s fine. She’s fine. “I know, Robin.”

“I mean, even if he was into preps, your friends made his life a living hell.” While Stevie normally enjoys listening to whatever Robin feels like rambling about – even though Robin has made it clear that she’s definitely not Stevie’s number one fan – she really, really doesn’t want to have to listen to this. “I’m just saying, maybe you should aim lower. I think Jim the janitor is looking for wife number three.”

Stevie slams her now dirty ice cream scooper into the wash bucket behind the counter with more force than she probably needed to use. Whatever, it shuts Buckley up, and when Stevie declares that she’s going to take the trash out, she doesn’t argue.

By the time Stevie is back in from her errands, Eddie and his friends are long gone.

/////

“Here.”

Stevie glances up from her packed lunch – leftover pizza for the second day in the row because she hasn’t had the energy to cook anything recently and just keeps ordering takeout – to see a sheepish looking Robin Buckley sliding a cup of USS Butterscotch across the small break table towards her.

“What is this?”

“It’s a genuine ‘I’m-sorry-for-being-a-bitch’ sundae.” Robin settles into the chair across from her, still looking a little peaky. “I, uh, definitely went a bit too far yesterday, and I made you upset and I get it, I mean, I’d be upset if someone made fun of me for who I like, and I didn’t know that you really liked him but I should have known because every time he shows up you get these big puppy dog eyes and - ”

“Robin, Robin, stop!” Stevie drops her pizza and holds up her hands. Robin cuts off and flushes bright red. “It’s okay. Really. Besides, if there’s anyone who deserves it, it’s me.”

“I don’t know, Harrington,” Robin replies slowly, and there’s a glimmer in her eyes that Stevie hasn’t seen before. “You keep doing things that sort of blow my mind. I think I might even be starting to like you.”

Stevie can’t help herself from smiling, nor can she stop the snort that leaves her throat. “Are you sure you’re feeling okay? Do you want me to call a doctor?”

“Ha ha, you’re hilarious.” Robin rolls her eyes, but she offers her a small smile in return. “Seriously though, Eddie Munson? Like, have you ever even talked to him?”

“Honestly,” Stevie reaches for her sundae and starts digging in, “I didn’t really notice him until after I graduated.”

“Really?” Robin scoffs. “He’s kind of hard to miss.”

Stevie shrugs. “I don’t know, I didn’t really care about anyone outside of Tommy and Carol when I was friends with them, and then after Barb died I felt like I was barely able to care about myself.”

Robin doesn’t say anything, so Stevie pulls her gaze away from her quickly diminishing sundae and towards her coworker. “What?”

“Are you, I don’t know, are you okay?”

Stevie feels herself relax which, huh, she didn’t even know she was tense. “I think so. Graduating helped. Finally getting away from Tommy and Carol and Billy Hargrove helped. Deciding to go to cosmetology school helped. And the kids - ” Stevie breaks off with a fond laugh, “the kids help a lot too.”

“Huh.” Robin is still just sort of looking at her, and that glimmer in her eyes is brighter. “Well, I’m jealous you got out of there. I still have a year left.”

“Ehh, you’ll have a better senior year than I did,” Stevie shrugs again.

“Seeing as Billy Hargrove isn’t obsessed with me, yeah, you’re probably right.”

“Just break a plate on his head, that’ll fix that.”

Now Robin’s eyes are so wide, they’re practically popping out of her head. “What?!”

Stevie bursts into laughter and yeah, Stevie thinks she’s starting to like Robin Buckley.

/////

“I still don’t get it.”

It’s been nine days since Stevie’s last Eddie Munson sighting and eight days since Robin and Stevie made up over some USS Butterscotch, and this time when Eddie and his friends sprawl around their usual table, Robin joins Stevie in her watching.

“Did you have some sort of awakening after watching The Breakfast Club or something?”

Stevie frowns, but she doesn’t pull her eyes away from Eddie. “What breakfast club?”

“You haven’t seen – no, you know what, I’m not going to let you change the subject this time. Why Eddie Munson?”

Eddie throws his head back, laughing wildly, and Stevie is suddenly wildly jealous that she’s not the one sitting at the table making him laugh.

“Stevie. Dingus.” Robin jabs her in the side and Stevie hisses but it’s a success, she’s paying attention to Robin now. “Why. Eddie. Munson.”

“I just – I don’t know,” Stevie sighs, rubbing her now sore ribcage, thank you Robin Buckley. “He just so alive and outgoing and real. And I dunno, I think it’s kind of sweet that he adopts all the weird loner kids at school, and I like his curly hair and his leather jacket - ”

“Stevie.”

“ – and that weird jean jacket vest thing that he always wears, and the rings on his hands, and his hands, his hands are huge and did you know that he can play the guitar because apparently he can play the guitar, I saw his friend putting up a sign for some band that he’s in - ”

“Stevie.”

“ – and he has such pretty eyes and a gorgeous smile and God his arms, have you seen his arms when he rolls his sleeves up - ”

“STEVIE.”

“ – and I want to drink smoothies with him and go to the movies with him and make out in his crappy van with him and then take him home and tie him to my - ”

“STEVIE!” Robin shrieks, smacking her hand across Stevie’s mouth, and it’s loud enough to draw the attention of the sophomores passing by the shop. Robin waves along with her other hand, and they shoot the pair weird looks, but they move past.

“First of all,” Robin finally says as she drops her hands from Stevie’s mouth, “never talk to me about the disgusting sex you want to have with Eddie Munson ever again, I will have literal nightmares about what you told me.”

“But - ”

“NIGHTMARES, Harrington! And second of all, Christ, I knew you had it bad, but I didn’t know you had it that bad.”

Stevie can feel herself blushing bright, bright red. “No I don’t.”

Robin just blinks at her. “Oh, really?”

“Really.”

“So you’d be able to talk to him like a normal person then?”

Stevie nods even though on the inside she is screaming NO NOPE NO WAY ABSOLUTELY NOT.

“Great, because he’s coming in here.”

Apparently her flight instincts don’t kick in when fighting interdimensional monsters, but they do kick in when Eddie Munson is within talking distance, because she’s dropping onto the floor and crawling underneath the counter before she can realize that’s precisely what she’s doing.

“Uh huh. Totally normal.” Stevie glances up at Robin and yep, Robin looks about as unimpressed as her tone. “I lied, by the way. He and his friends just left the food court.”

“Blergh.” Stevie knocks her head back against the counter and sighs. Robin shows her mercy, though, and lets her sit there and recover for five minutes until the kids come charging in, wanting Stevie to let them sneak into another movie which she does because she’s a pushover. Worrying about the kids is enough to get Eddie Munson off her mind, at least for now.

/////

If cosmetology school doesn’t end up working out, maybe Stevie should join the secret service or something because hey, she’s really good at surviving Russian torture. She can almost imagine the look on her father’s face if she added that to the resumé he continuously tailors on her behalf. Suck it, Dad.

(She might be a little high still.)

“I’d be a great secret agent,” she tells Robin, although Robin is still puking her guts up in the toilet next to her and probably isn’t listening. “Like James Bond. And Henderson could be Q!”

“Ugh,” Robin finally moans, “how do you know James Bond characters well enough to name them?”

“Uh, because my dad is obsessed with the movies, they’re, like, the only thing he watches when he’s home.”

“That sounds awful.”

“Ehh, Sean Connery is sort of hot. I like his accent.”

Robin makes a fake retching sound. “That is the worst thing you’ve ever said, ever.”

“Oh come on, are you telling me Connery doesn’t do it for you at least a little bit?”

“First of all,” Robin snorts, “he’s old enough to be my father, and second of all no, he doesn’t do it for me. I’m more of a Honey Ryder girl,” Robin sighs out, and then she falls quiet, too quiet.

Oh.

Oh.

“Well,” Stevie starts slowly, because she only has one shot at this, “your opinion is definitely wrong, because Solitaire is obviously the better choice.”

Robin sputters, and then she’s laughing, and Stevie tucks and rolls underneath the stall until she’s sitting across from Robin, and then they’re both laughing.

“Are you seriously arguing with the lesbian, dingus? Honey Ryder in that bikini is so fucking hot!”

“Uh, yeah, but she’s no Jane fucking Seymour, Robin!”

/////

Russian torture definitely sucks, but Stevie emerges on the other side with Robin Buckley as a best friend, and for Robin? She’d be tortured by a million Russians.

She’s really glad Robin is there in the aftermath. She’s a good distraction, goading Stevie into more arguments about James Bond and Bond girls and other movies when they finally run out of Bond films to talk about, and having Robin’s voice fill up the silence helps, especially on those nights when she can’t fall asleep without seeing Billy Hargrove’s corpse, or seeing the look on El’s face when she finds out that the chief isn’t coming back this time.

She doesn’t miss the mall. She doesn’t miss Scoops and its shitty customers and its even shittier uniform. She doesn’t miss Robin, because they’re working at Family Video together every day now. But in those moments where she lets herself not feel guilty for missing anything at the mall – which are few and far between, because everything has been tainted by Russians and by death – she lets herself miss the time she spent watching Eddie Munson from afar.

But then one day, Dustin Henderson walks into Family Video wearing a familiar baseball-styled tee, emblazoned with a large demon, and suddenly her days of watching Eddie Munson from afar are back, and it’s all going to be totally fine.

/////

It is not totally fine.

It is not totally fine, because now that Dustin and Mike and Lucas are in Eddie’s little club, they will not stop talking about it. More specifically, they will not stop talking about Eddie, and how cool he is, and how awesome his hair is, and did you know he’s in a band and he can play the guitar, Stevie, why don’t you play the guitarand he listens to metal music and it’s the coolest shit ever, stop telling me not to swear Stevie, you’re not my mom and Eddie’s really smart, actually, he’s just too smart for the school system and Eddie just wrote the most incredible campaign Stevie, you should have been there, and Stevie is about three seconds away from pulling her perfectly coiffed hair out of her head.

“Is this revenge?” Stevie moans, her face buried in the pile of recent returns.

“Yes, and it is so, so sweet,” Robin sings happily from behind her.

“ – was actually a lich the entire time – are you even listening?” Henderson’s outraged voice squawks from across the counter. Stevie sighs and forces herself to look over at him.

“Yeah, yeah, something about a barhop – ”

“Barkeep - ”

“ – and it turns out he was a witch the whole time?”

“ – a lich, Stevie, a lich – God, why am I even trying? Eddie was right, he said you’d never be able to appreciate the intricate world of D&D!”

Stevie feels herself gape at Dustin, because not only is apparently Dustin Henderson talking with Eddie about her, Eddie apparently doesn’t think she can appreciate D&D? Which, he’s not totally wrong, there are a lot of rules and things she doesn’t understand and she’s really bad at words, which Robin says is because she’s dyslexic, but she does actually try to understand what Dustin is talking about. It just – it makes her stomach feel icky, knowing that whatever Eddie said probably isn’t as nice as what Dustin said, and Dustin is rarely nice when he’s in one of his moods.

Robin, bless her, is apparently offended on Stevie’s behalf, and so she steps up to the plate when it becomes clear that Stevie is speechless. “Please tell Munson that he can judge other people’s capacity for decoding nonsense when he’s going to school full time and has an actual job.”

“And migraines,” Stevie adds in. “Lots of migraines.”

Dustin, at least, manages to look a little sheepish. “Sorry, Stevie. It’s just really exciting to be in Hellfire right now!”

“I know.” Stevie manages her best fond smile, even though she still feels unsettled on the inside. “I’m really happy for you, Henderson. So, how did you fight the lich?”

/////

The thing with Dustin Henderson is if you give him an inch, he’ll take forty-thousand miles, so now Stevie is treated to an hour-long play by play after every single Hellfire session wherein Dustin praises Eddie’s genius and how hard and intense the game is and you should really give it a chance, Stevie.

“Henderson,” Stevie finally cuts him off one Saturday morning. He’s cornered her behind the counter at Family Video after instructing Mike and Lucas to pick a good movie for once in their goddamn lives. Robin abandoned her to trail after the boys (traitor), and after twenty minutes of Dustin talking about the wondrous biology of acid frogs, Stevie’s patience is wearing thin. “I love you. You’re the son I never had.”

“You’re nineteen.”

“Exactly,” she nods, “the son I never had. But if I hear another word about the many uses of an acid toad’s bowel movements - ”

“Acid frog Stevie, weren’t you listening?!”

“ – I am going to lose my mind,” Stevie finishes calmly. (Much more calmly than the situation warranted, in her opinion.)

“This is important information, Stevie!”

“Dustin, how is this possibly important information?”

The bell above the door rings, signaling a customer has entered, but Robin greets them before Stevie gets a chance to. (Not that Dustin would give her the chance to, judging by how furrowed his brow is. He only gets that annoyed little squiggle in the center of his forehead when he’s about to launch into his most passionate speeches.)

“Because these are important things to know, Stevie!”

“Okay, Dustin, I hate to break it to you, but acid frogs aren’t real.”

Dustin snorts. “That’s not true, actually, the acid frogs of Eastern Australia are an endangered species - ”

“You know that’s not what I mean, Dustin!” Stevie throws her hands up in the air. “Your fantasy acid frogs aren’t real.”

“Don’t waste your breath, Henderson,” a nice voice speaks from behind Dustin. Dustin grins at the sound and turns to face the speaker. Stevie, meanwhile, freezes in place, a shiver running up her spine. “Such truths are wasted on the unenlightened.”

Eddie Munson strolls up to the counter, dropping his hand on Dustin’s shoulder and shooting her an icy smirk. “Well, well. If it isn’t the former Queen of Hawkins High. How does it feel to be one of the common folk, your majesty?”

A pair of snorts (coming from a pair of boys in matching Hellfire shirts whose names she can’t recall) trail Eddie’s proclamation, followed by Mike’s laughter from the back of the store. Dustin, the traitor, just shoots Stevie a smug grin.

(And look, she’s not panicking, okay? She’s not. It’s just that this is the first time that she’s ever talked to Eddie Munson, at least in recent memory, and it’s already off to kind of a bad start, and honestly he’s being kind of an asshole right now but ugh she still likes him and wants this to go well, why does she care so much about wanting this to go well?

Breathe, breaths, in, out. Robin rounds the corner and shoots her a worried look, but Stevie just shakes her head. She’s turned worse situations around. She can do this.)

“I don’t think there’s anything common about you, Munson,” Stevie replies, shifting her weight forward onto her right foot so now she’s leaning forward. “But I’m doing pretty well today. Or I was, until someone,” she glances quickly at Dustin before looking back at Eddie, “decided to spend fifteen minutes teaching me the seven best uses for acid frog excrement.”

“It was disgusting,” Robin chimes in as she joins Stevie behind the counter. “And also a little bit concerning, if I’m being totally honest. Like, that’s a lot of time to spend thinking about fake frog turds.”

Eddie blinks at them once, twice, before the smirk falls off his face and he collapses forward with a groan, removing his hand from Dustin’s shoulder so he can drop his head into it instead. “Really, Henderson? Has our kind not suffered enough?”

Dustin huffs out a breath. “It’s important information!”

“And I’m truly honored that you want to share it with me. I am,” Stevie cuts him off before he can continue. “I love our mother-son bonding time.”

“I’m not your son.”

“But I think I’ll go to your father if I have any questions about DND in the future, okay?” Stevie finishes, and she can barely stop herself from grinning, especially when she starts to hear Robin choke behind her.

Dustin just looks confused now. “My father?”

“Yep.” Stevie lets herself grin now and returns her gaze to Eddie Munson, who’s looking over at her now with a confused expression on his face. “Which reminds me, what’s the difference between wizards and sorcerers again? I can never keep it straight.”

Eddie drops his hand and gapes at her. Like, his jaw is practically on the ground. He backs up, away from the store counter and spins around once to look behind him (at his friends, who are also looking equally confused) before turning back around. “I’m sorry, are you – me?”

Stevie shifts closer to him, resting her chin on her hand so she’s gazing up at him. “I don’t see any other dungeon masters around here, do you?”

“What is happening right now,” Dustin murmurs out, and it’s not quite a question or a statement.

“Go play with your friends, Henderson, Mommy and Daddy are talking.”

“I – Mommy and Daddy?!” And now Henderson is shrieking, and Mike is poking his head out from behind the stacks to shoot them a glare, and Robin is trying really hard to cover up her laugh with her cough, and Eddie? Eddie is flushed bright red and just staring at her.

“So, yeah, wizards and sorcerers. I know there’s a difference, I can just never keep them straight. And since Dustin says you know the most about DND out of anyone, I might as well take lessons from the best, huh?”

“Oh my God. Oh my GOD!” Dustin is practically shrieking, and then Robin’s running around the counter and pulling him towards Mike and Lucas, ignoring his protesting.

“I – you – what? What?!” Now it’s Eddie’s turn to squawk.

“Also, I’m really glad you came in today. I mean, it probably was for a movie because, you know, Family Video,” Stevie waves her free hand around, “but I’ve been waiting for an opportunity like this to come up.”

“An opportunity for what?” Eddie parrots back slowly.

“To flirt with you, obviously.”

“Obviously – obviously? Obviously?!”

“Yeah, obviously. I didn’t get a chance at the mall because you never came into Scoops,” and okay, she wasn’t planning on laying it all out on the line here, but Eddie’s looking increasingly like he’s two seconds away from running and she’d really prefer it if he at least believed her when he ran away, “which was annoying because our ice cream was way better than Jamba Juice anyways - ”

“What?”

“ – and the kids have been talking about you non-stop for the last three months, and it really means a lot that you took them under your wing, and, I mean, I already thought you were hot - ”

“WHAT?!”

“ – and judging by the handcuffs on your belt, I think it’s safe to say we have things in common outside of the kids. And I might not be like naturally interested in DND or whatever, but I’d let you be my dungeon master anytime,” she finishes with a wink and yep, she broke him. He’s frozen and flushed she really, really wants to see just how far down that blush goes.

The taller of his friends – Jeff, that’s his name – walks forward and grabs Eddie’s arm. “This isn’t some sort of joke, right?”

“Nope!” Robin calls out before sliding to a stop in front of the counter. “She’s been crushing on him for months. It’s honestly been sort of pathetic.”

“Gee, thanks Robin,” Stevie rolls her eyes. Reaching for a nearby receipt, Stevie grabs a pen and quickly scribbles her number on the back. “Here’s my number. I’m home most nights after seven and I have every other weekend free. Make sure he calls me if he’s interested,” she finishes up with a click of her pen, and then she’s passing the phone number to Jeff.

Jeff smiles at her, a small, shy sort of smile. “I will. C’mon, Munson. Let’s go before your face freezes that way."

He grabs hold of Eddie with his free hand – Eddie, who’s still flushed and staring at her – and he motions for their other friend to grab his other arm, and with that, the trio of Hellfire boys leave Family Video.

“That was the worst thing I’ve ever heard,” Mike announces as soon as the door shuts, approaching the counter with a sour look on his face.

“I didn’t know you had game like that, Stevie!” Lucas crows, laughing at the sour look on Mike’s face. Dustin, on the other hand? Dustin looks as shellshocked as Eddie did.

“You – you’re into Eddie?”

“That’s an understatement,” Robin snorts. “Seriously, though, that was intense. I thought you were going to flirt with him, not kill him.”

“What?” Stevie shoots back defensively. “He wasn’t getting that I was serious and I wanted to make sure he knew that.”

“Don’t worry, we all know it,” Mike gags, and it’s enough to set Lucas off into giggles again.

“You’re into Eddie,” Dustin repeats, and then all of a sudden he’s beaming. “You like Eddie! This is PERFECT!”

“Oh, no, no, no! Dustin!” Mike groans, but Dustin is already running out the door.

“Don’t worry, Stevie! We’ll make sure true love prevails!”

“God, do we have to?” Mike whines again, but he dutifully follows Dustin out the door. Lucas shoots Stevie another wink and laughs before following suit, and then it’s just Robin and Stevie in an otherwise empty Family Video.

“That was probably a bit much.”

“Nah,” Robin shakes her head with a laugh. “It would take a lot for anyone to be ‘too much’ for Eddie Munson. He’s into you, dingus.”

“You think so?”

Robin knocks her head against Stevie’s. “I bet you five bucks he asks you out by next Saturday.”

“You’re on.”

/////

Three days later, Eddie Munson leaves Family Video with a wide grin on his face, and Stevie is too busy dancing around in excitement to feel too badly about her five dollars that are making a new home in Robin’s wallet.

[bee-a-ts]

I've not made a secret of having an absolutely awful week. I've tried not to trauma dump unprompted, either, so I've kept it vague, but in addition to the occasional tumblr post I've reached out to irl friends with statements on the theme. Some friends, and statements, repeatedly. Which isn't like me - I'm normally forthcoming with my stress when it's relatively minor. Or I'll say it once and leave it be. But I'm drowning right now and so I keep reaching out.

And no one. Not a single one of these good friends. Has done so much as said, "I'm sorry, I'm here for you," or asked more questions, or checked in, or, hell, sent a silly picture to try and cheer me up. It's like pulling teeth to get a response at all. It's always me reaching out first - how was your birthday, how was your move, how are you feeling, how was so and sos visit? Here, have a meme that made me think of you, here's a song that made me think of you, here's a picture of the sky in Seattle today, and on and on.

Is it unrealistic to expect a base level of reciprocal caring from close friends?? I know I can always be direct - "I need you to talk first, check in, think of me when I'm having a hard time" - but a, it takes the value out of it for me to have the only times I'm cared for be in response to a direct ask; and b, I have done that before. It's clearly not stuck.

I'm just - gods, I'm frustrated and angry and so goddamn sad. This is my life. I live alone. I do not have a partner, and probably never will. I need my friends, because I literally do not have a different support option. And it's been like this all month, sending message after message to the void for all the response I'm liable to get.

All that to say, I forgot to add kale to my Jamba Juice smoothie delivery this morning and had a fucking breakdown about it when I realized, because it was too sweet and without a vegetable I can't justify eating it so the whole thing will go in the trash. Thankfully, I found some spinach in the freezer and salvaged the situation. But it's so clear to me I'm taking out the stress of this month on my body.

Yesterday the only food I ate and kept down was a pastry and some carrots and seaweed during DnD. I had a banana and donut that morning, but I made myself throw it up.

I've been taking too hot showers trying to burn myself, and too cold showers when that doesn't work to try and make myself cry it out. I am constantly thinking about all the destructive habits I've used in the past and trying to redirect them, but a rubber band on the wrist only goes so far.

I'm exhausted and while this week really took the cake in terms of Extra Bullshit, the intense stress has been going on for two months now and it's looking like another two months of this at least. I don't know what I'm going to do. Probably keep hating myself and my body and coping poorly, if I'm honest. It's not like I'm actively suicidal - I'm not going anywhere. I'm just-

Fuck it, I don't know. Who cares anyway. Clearly. I'll be fine eventually, I always am. I'm used to being the only person taking care of myself.

I'll probably delete this later anyway.

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #359

“i’m only a crack in this castle of glass  /  hardly anything there for you to see”

Do you look better with your hair down or up? It's too short to go up. Has you mom ever directly told you that she favoured your other sibling(s) over you? Yeesh, no. Have you ever read The Outsiders? Seen the movie? Read the book, seen the movie. Adore both. What’s your favourite drink from Jamba Juice? I don't think we have those here. Can you stand eating the crusts of a slice of sandwich bread? I don't mind the crust at all. Do you do your homework at home or in class? Prior to college, I did my work right after getting home to get it out of the way. In college, I did it in-between classes or when waiting for Mom to finish class. Do you feel uncomfortable sharing drinks with other people? Yes, I never do it. Do you get jealous if your boyfriend hugs another girl? I'm single, but hypothetically, I wouldn't... It's just a hug. At least for me, it's just a friendly gesture. Is there something that happened in your past you hate talking about? A few things, yes. Is it hard for you to be “just friends” with the opposite sex? Nah. If you had to choose, what color is your favorite? Baby pink. How many times have you dated the person you’re with now? I’m single. Has anyone suspected you of being a different sexuality? Yes. Do you like chocolate or vanilla cake more? Chocolate. Does it bother you to have blood drawn or not so much? Nah. What color is your toothbrush? It's a white electric one. Do you normally fall asleep fast or slow? Ridiculously slow. Have you ever had a severe allergic reaction? No. What do you want to be for Halloween this year? I'd love to dress up as like a Ms. Oogie Boogie and take some cool pictures, but I highly doubt it'll actually happen. What color are your glasses, if applicable? Black. Do you still look in the toy aisle, or do you pass it by? I walk past it. What are your summer fashion essentials? I don't have fashion essentials for any season. Do you have your own website? For my photography, yeah. Do you think you would be a good salesperson? Ha, no. I worked in retail before and I fucking sucked. Do you like candy corn? NO. Just colored wax, ugh. Do you like to wear skirts? I don't wear anything that shows my legs. Were you happy as a kid? Yeah. That, talkative, and hyper. Favorite store to browse but not really buy anything? Haha, I LOVE going on MorphMarket now and again to browse the ball pythons especially, but boy if I had the cash and space would I buy like fifty of them at once. I don't really know about a store I like browsing but not buying from. Skittles or Sour Patch Kids? Both are great, but I guess Sour Patch Kids. BUT, if you throw SOUR Skittles in there... then it's a war lol. If tattoos were free, how many would you have? A HELL OF A LOT. I wanna be just about totally painted. Do you wear a retainer at night? Not anymore. I had one, but I stopped using it. Are you afraid of dolls, puppets, or clowns? I'm not a doll person, particularly porcelain ones. When you’re in your room, do you keep the door locked? No. It's not even closed. Do you think your face is mostly symmetrical? Actually no, and I'm self-conscious about it. Stupidest thing you have ever said out loud? OH Christ, I'm not retrospecting on this. What’s your least favourite ice-cream flavour? That I've actually tried, strawberry. It's disgusting. What was the last good news you heard? I got approved for TMS therapy! Who was the last person to comment on your Facebook status? My friend Lyndsey. How did you meet him/her? World of Warcraft. She's actually my guild master, and she is the sweetest damn person. Have you ever learned any self-defense? If not, would you be interested in learning? I haven't, but yeah, I'd like to. When was the last time you took a nap? How long was it? Yesterday. For some reason, I actually slept a LONG time, like at least three, but probably close to four, hours. I mean I was tired, but I didn't feel THAT tired. Do you like Gushers? YAAAAAAAAAAS What would you do if you could do anything without failing? Actually get a degree for SOMETHING. What is your native language? English. Do you have a younger brother or sister? A younger sister. If so do/did they really get on your nerves? No. We were very close as kids, but we've drifted apart. Now, she absolutely doesn't get on my nerves. I'm so proud of her. Name something that happened to you that was completely unexpected. Uhhh I dunno. Do you judge people that have multiple piercings? Lol wtf? No. Do you watch the Olympics? No. What did you have for breakfast this morning? I had Kix cereal. Do you like orange juice? Yes. So long as it doesn't have pulp in it. Do you think it’s cruel to keep an animal in a cage while you’re away? It depends on the size of the cage as well as how long you're away. Do you have a pet gecko? No, but I'd love a fat-tailed gecko. Are you scared of reptiles? Not at all, I adore them. Is your car messy? I don't have my own car. Mom's kinda is, though. It needs a wash badly, but because of her bumper literally being zip-tied on, she doesn't trust going into a car wash. And neither of us are about to do it manually, lol. Have you ever seen the show 16 and Pregnant? No, fuck that show. Do you buy expensive clothes? No. Does death scare you? Not really. What are your current goals? Conquer my social anxiety, get a job, lose weight, do something to strengthen my legs... Those are the four biggies. Do you clap or cheer when at a concert? I did both at the one I've been to. Do you drink coffee? What brand? No. Do you use a comb or brush? A comb. When you were younger, did you ever do that exclamation point that looked like an upside down triangle and had a really big dot? No. I loved the cutesy girl handwriting though, haha. I just could never do it. You’re locked in a room with the person you last dated, any problems? Well yeah, we're locked in a room lmao. What kind of relationship do you have with the last person you kissed? It's perfectly fine, we're best friends. Have you ever gotten burnt by a cigarette? No. Do you get mad when people smoke around you? Yes. Honestly, have you ever eaten raw cookie dough? Yeah, more than once. When was the last time you were on a city bus? Never. Do you have a garden? Does it have flowers, vegetables, or both? No. Where do you want to raise your kids? Who said I even want kids? Have you ever been to Cracker Barrel? Yessssss, good shit. Have you ever seen a ghost? I think I have. Have you ever burned an ant with a magnifying glass? No. Have you ever been to craigslist.com? Yes. Have you ever used Nair? Yes, on my legs. It works, I just have stupidly hairy legs that need so much to get it all. How many tabs do you have open and what are they? Two YouTube tabs and then Tumblr. What browser do you prefer to use? Chrome. What room are you in right now? My bedroom. Are you excited for anything this month? 1.) I get my tattoo on the 19th, and 2.) I start TMS next Wednesday. What language course did you take in school, if any? I barely survived one semester of Latin, then I did all four available German courses. What language would you most like to learn? I'd love to improve my German. What would you like to get a degree in? Photography. What book are you reading, what genre is it and do you like it so far? Wings of Fire: The Brightest Night. It's young adult fantasy, I think. Did you ever sometimes flip through your text books even when you didn’t need to? Yeah, mainly to just look at pictures because I was that bored in class, haha. What types of magazines do you read? None. Would you prefer to read a book, watch a movie or TV show, or play a video game? Play a video game. What’s your current relationship like with the person you lost your virginity to and do you wish it was different? We don't have any relationship anymore. I don't regret losing it to him, if that's what you're asking. If you mean our relationship stance, it'd be nice to still be in touch with him, but I know it wouldn't be healthy for me. Have you ever felt responsible for someone’s death? Pets, yes. No humans. What was the last book you recommended to someone? Idk. What’s the most difficult thing you and your current or last significant other have gone through? Distance was very hard. What’s your best memory with your ex? I'm going to assume this refers to "the ex." In which case, we were "play arguing," and I came storming into the kitchen after him to make a point, and I slid mid-sentence, and he caught me. We just held each other laughing our asses off. It's the simple things, man. Who was the last person that asked to hang out with you and what’s the story of how you met that person? Summer. My little sister and her were in pre-k together and became friends, but I gradually became closer to her than Nicole did when we were teens. Has anyone ever asked you out and you turned them down? Yes. Is there something you generally always ask for help with? Yeah. Like recently I've been having apples and peanut butter a lot, and I ask my mom to cut the apple because I'm terrified of knives. Do you feel comfortable telling people how much you weigh? NOPE. Have you looked at any old photos of yourself lately? No. In a relationship, have you ever been on and off with your partner? No. Do you consider cooking to be an art? Yes. Are you a fast or slow reader? I'd say I read at a moderate pace. Does it take a lot to gross you out? It depends on what it is, but I am actually more squeamish than I used to be.

[khoicesbyk]

My First Two Loves.

First Time Love. Part 1.

A/N: I’ve read a multitude of books. And this one is becoming one that I thoroughly enjoy. So; Talley Ho! *in my Sherlock Holmes voice*

Rated: Mature. Contains sexual content, brief mention of violence and strong language. You know? The basic usual from me. 😁 | Bolded and/or italicized words are conversations and thoughts of the characters. | Characters: Isaiah Harris (LI) and Kailah Price (MC) | All Characters: names (except MC) are property of Pixelberry. | All Characters are 18+ | A/N 2: This story follows the plots of Ch. 17 and 18. There are mentions of underage drinking in both this two part story and the original MTFL. This is also a story about sexual discovery. Reader discretion is STRONGLY advised. | A/N 3: Song and Story Inspiration: Chaka Demus And Pliers-Murder She Wrote | Childish Gambino-Redbone | Lita-Ciao Ciao | PJ Morton feat. JOJO-Say So | Rihanna feat Drake-Work | Daniel Caesar feat Brandy-Love Again | Current Word Count: 2,193 words.

Weekly Challenge Prompt: “I honestly don’t know.” This one was not only easy but hella fun! 😁

It was her first time ever experiencing something so life changing.

It was her first time experiencing him.

Let’s go back, shall we?

Kailah was excited for tonight. She was going to her bestie Brandi’s big bash. Brandi’s parents were gone for the weekend, she had the house to herself so what else does an 18yrold do? She throws a giant party for all of her friends and fellow seniors! Because; what 18yrold wouldn’t do that?

After she got herself all dolled up, and after she texted Isaiah and Jaylen a photo of her outfit; Kailah was down the steps; and headed for the door. Until she ran into her dad and had the biggest argument of her life with him. Not because of her grades or anything like that. No; it was because he felt she was abandoning her commitments in favor of; spending too much time with Isaiah.

And well; she felt like he was being a hypocrite and told him so. It wasn’t until she brought up her deceased mom that it all went left; and she was effectively grounded.

Leave it to her sister MacKenzie to come up with the plan of a lifetime. She was gonna sneak out and go to the party; despite her dad grounding her. Besides; she promised Isaiah she’d be there so she had to go. She didn’t want him to be there by himself.

When she got to the party; it was already popping and Brandi was already drunk. Kailah loved her best friend more than anything; but even she thought Brandi had over done it on the booze.

“Giiiiiiiiirrrrrrrrrrrrrrllllllllllll you made it! And damn you look sexy, baby! Somebody’s trying to get fucked tonight!”, Brandi said as she wobbled up to her best friend. “Babe! How much have you had to drink?”, Kailah asks her as she tries to peel her very drunken friend off of her.

“I honestly don’t know! I started drinking before everybody got here so…”, Brandi replied with a shrug; while trying to steady herself. “Okay! Let’s get you some water babe. You need it!”, Kailah says to her as she tries to steer her best friend to the kitchen.

That’s when Jaylen called out to them, “there you two are! And Brandi you don’t look so good.” “Kai was gonna get me some water! Isn’t she like the sweetest thing ever?!”, she drunkenly asked Jaylen before flinging herself across him. “Yeeeeeeah…I think I’ll get you that water. Come on.”, he tells her as he drags her to the kitchen. “Best! Boyfriend! Ever!!”, she drunkenly squeals as she follows him.

She hated to see them together so; she decided to find Isaiah. When she scanned the room she saw people; drinking, laughing, dancing and generally having a good time. But; she didn’t see Isaiah. Knowing Brandi’s house like the back of her hand; Kailah decided to check the backyard before she checked the basement. When she stepped onto the patio; she saw that the backyard was in shambles. But again; she didn’t see him.

Until he came up behind her and wrapped his arms around her waist. “You look like you lost something. Maybe I can help you find it.”, he whispered in her ear. She turned her head and smiled up at him. “Who told you to come out the house looking like a five course meal?”, he asked her; clearly letting his eyes roam over her body.

“Stop it! Are you enjoying the party?”, she asks him. “I mean if you wanna call high school cliches, cliques, loud music and spiked Jamba Juice a party then yeah; I’m having a blast!”, he says sarcastically with a shrug. She just rolled her eyes and giggled.

“But now that you’re here; I might just enjoy myself after all.”, he told her with wolfish grin.

“How’d you do on your test yesterday?”, she asks him. He raised his arms in victory and said, “nailed it!”

“Told you! Now all we gotta do is keep it up; and you’ll be pulling girls at Princeton in no time.”, she told him as she beamed with pride at him. He just shook his head at her.

“So, I was thinking about ditching this snooze fest.”, he told her. “Already?! Awwww!”, she pouted. It made him want to suck on her bottom lip. “I mean you could always come with me, ya know?”, he told her. “Ohhhh really? And where would we go; should we decide to leave?”, she asked him with eyebrow raised.

“We’d go back to my place. My mom doesn’t really have any restrictions on me having company over, plus my sister is at my cousins for a weekend sleepover thing and my brother is out with his friends for God knows how long; doing only God knows or who for that matter. So, we’d pretty much have the whole house to ourselves.”, he told her as he wrapped his arms around her again; and pulled her close so that she was flush with his chest.

“Tempting. And what would we do, alone at your place?”, she asked him in a not so innocent voice. “Whatever you want to do babe.”, he whispered in her ear. His voice was low and husky; and in sent a winding chill down her spine. Before she could answer; Jaylen popped around the corner; causing her to take a step back from Isaiah.

“Well! Well! Looks like juvie actually showed up, tonight! He’s not bothering you; is he?”, he asks her. While Isaiah rolled his eyes; she replied, “no Jay he’s not. We were just talking.”

“Are you sure? Because; you know that I can always have him thrown out of the party, right?”, he told her.

“Heyyyyy golden boy! Are you deaf? She just said that she’s fine!”, Isaiah snapped back at him; clearly agitated at this point.

“Who said I was talking to you, juvie?”, he told him. “Man! Don’t make me embarrass you in front of her!”, he replied to Jaylen. “Please do. Because; I’ve been dying for round 2 with you!”, he told him as he got up in Isaiah’s face. “I bet you have, golden boy! Especially with the way the last time went. You gotta regrow your balls somehow!”, he told him.

After remembering how the last time these two got into it turned out; Kailah stepped in between them.

“Stop it! Both of you! Jay I’m fine! I’ll be inside in a few. Go get the games started. We’ll be there shortly.”, she told him to get him to back down. Jaylen turned on his heel and went back inside.

That’s when she turned to Isaiah and said, “Isaiah please calm down! It’s not worth it!” She watched as he clenched and unclenched his fists.

But; soon he calmed down after he saw the look of concern on her face. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t let him get under my skin; but somehow he always does.”, he told her.

“It’s okay Isaiah. I know he can be aggravating at times. Trust me. Now let’s go play a couple games. And we can discuss leaving later.”, she told him as she led him back inside.

After a few rounds of truth or dare; that included Isaiah taking body shots off of Kailah and using her as a weight, Jaylen stripping down to his underwear and doing laps up and down the street and more than a few nearly embarrassing truths.

It was time for everyone’s favorite card game: Suck and Blow. The rules are simple: pass a card from person to person; by only using your mouth.

What started out innocent soon turned awkward between Kailah and Jaylen. When the card slipped from Jaylen’s lips before it reached hers. And; he inadvertently kissed her. “Oh geez! I’m so sorry, Kai! That wasn’t supposed to happen!”, he sheepishly told her. He had a look a completely embarrassed look on his face.

“It’s all good. ‘Twas an was accident. You good!”, she told him. In the very back of her mind; she wasn’t so sure that kiss was an accident or that he was sorry about it. Especially when she saw the irritated look on Isaiah’s face. But; it wasn’t her that he was irritated with. He knew that kiss wasn’t “accidental”. Or at least; he knew that it wasn’t an accidental kiss on Jaylen’s part.

After a few more crazy and hilarious rounds of Suck and Blow; the living room had dissolved into a full on dance floor. With bodies swaying to whatever random song played on Pandora; Kailah was hoping to dance with someone.

While Jaylen was dancing with a VERY drunk Brandi; Isaiah walked over and asked, “hey Kai…wanna dance?” She eagerly accepted his invitation.

Being that close to him, feeling his strong arms around her, dancing to the beat, inhaling the scent of his musky cologne. It all had changed the way she looked at him. The world just disappeared, when she was with him. It was there in that moment; where she realized how much she started to really deeply care about Isaiah.

That moment of internal bliss was interrupted by Lauren; when she swayed right into them both, spilling her drink on Kailah. “Seriously Lauren?! Look what you did!”, she snapped at her. “Whatever! Just go wash it out in the bathroom, you’ll be fine!”, Lauren snapped back.

Rather than punch Lauren in the face like she was dying to do; Kailah stormed off to guest bathroom to clean herself up. While she was in the bathroom cleaning herself up; she got a text from her dad.

Daddy-o: hey you two, they need me to work a double tonight. So I won’t be home until some time late tomorrow morning. Don’t wait up! Love you both. Goodnight.

Younger sister unit: Kk

Me: 👍🏾

That’s when there was a knock at the bathroom door.

“Hello in there! This is your friendly neighborhood chimney sweep calling!” With a giggle she replied, “you’re an idiot Isaiah! The door isn’t locked.” When he entered the bathroom behind her; she soon found herself alone with him. “Damn. Brandi’s parents must have some serious money. This is a nice ass guest bathroom!”, he said before asking her, “You okay? I came to check on you.”

“Yeah I’ll live. I just a got text from my dad. According to him, he’s working a double at the hospital; and won’t be home until some time tomorrow morning.”, she told him. He cocked an eyebrow at her with mischievous grin on his face and said, “so that means that you and I can go around town and cause mischief and mayhem!” She shook her head at him and said, “and what kind of mischief did you have in mind, Mr. Harris?”

“Well Ms. Price, the mischief I had in mind begins with us; getting the fuck outta here and going somewhere much quieter.”, he told her. “Is this your way of asking me to go with you; back to your place, Mr. Harris?”, she asked. “Not in so many words but; yeah.”, he replied as she wrapped her arms around his neck. “Hmmmm…I’d love to!”, she said. His eyes lit up like a Christmas tree.

“Perfect! There’s just one thing.”, he said. “What? What is it?”, she asked. “I’ve just been thinking about that so called kiss you shared with golden boy.”, he told her.

She grimaced as she thought back to it. “I’m sorry Isaiah. I wasn’t trying to be a jerk to you.”, she said to him. “I ain’t mad at you, Kai. It just got me to thinking. That’s all.”, he said to her. “Thinking about what?”, she asked. “It got me to thinking; why does golden boy get to have all the fun?”, he said to her. “What do you mea—“, was all she said before his lips devoured hers.

His kiss was hot, hungry, powerful and definitely horny. When their kiss was finally broken; she was out of breath and he was apologetic. “I’m sorry…I shouldn’t have done that.”, he told her. “No, you shouldn’t have!”, she said before she pulled him into another hot kiss. He effortlessly picked her up and sat her on the sinks’ marble counter.

With her legs around his waist; he leaned her back towards the bathroom mirror. They couldn’t get enough of each other. He started to trail hot kisses down her jaw and the hollow between her neck and her ear. Doing so, not only made her whole body hot but; it made her shiver. He wanted to keep going but; he stopped to whisper in a low growl, “ohhh yeah. We are definitely getting the fuck outta here, now!” She simply smirked at him and said, “Well…lead the way.”

With that; he pulled her off the counter and out of the bathroom and house they went, no goodbyes to anyone, nothing. They just left. When they got outside, he tossed her his extra helmet, she climbed on the back of his bike and they were gone. They were on their way back to his place; for a very fun end to their evening.

Stay tuned for Part 2!

😘

K.

Tag list: @txemrn @choicesficwriterscreations @choicesweeklychallenge @lucy-268

[lovemesomesurveys]

survey from diggitydoo

Have you ever felt a baby kick? I might have when my mom was pregnant with my brother, but I don’t remember.

What color pants/shorts are you wearing? I’m wearing black leggings. 

When is the last time you did something truly fun, and what was it? My Disneyland trip back in February. It still trips me out that was this year, it feels like forever ago and SO much changed shortly after. It’s wild.

What was the scariest moment of your life? I’ve had more than one, but some were pre-surgery fears. It’s a very scary time and my mind always went to the worst places. My surgeries were long and invasive, too. During one of them my blood pressure dropped really low and my body was just in freakout mode for a few days after the surgery. Like, I had to have a few EKGs and a cardiologist check me out cause my heart rate was high (the EKGs came back fine, though, and the cardiologist couldn’t find anything wrong) and they were worried about my kidneys at one point. I think my body was just under a lot of stress from the type of surgery and the conditions beforehand (I had been sick for one, but also the prep required being totally cleaned out and I think I was dehydrated because of that).

Have you ever heard of Leonard Cohen? Doesn’t ring a bell.

Pancakes or flapjacks? Aren’t they the same thing?

What kind of computer are you on? I’m on my Macbook Air. 

Do you eat Chinese food? If so, what's your favorite dish? I like chow mien, egg rolls, potstickers, and crab rangoon. 

What are you usually doing at midnight? Either scrolling through my social medias, reading, or watching TV.

Have you ever developed feelings for a friend, but you were already with someone? No.

If so, how did it turn out?

Give me your brief definition of love. I don’t wanna.

What is the most beautiful part of the human body, male or female? Hmm. Eyes.

What kind of shoes do you wear? Adidas.

What is the worst thing you've ever done when you were really angry?I just get really frustrated and upset and I shut down and cry. Are there any pills you take on a daily basis? If so, what? My pain medication. And for the next 10 days this antibiotic. It’s bad because I’ve had it since yesterday for an infection I’ve had for at least two weeks that we know of and the reason why I’ve been feeling sick, but I’ve yet to take it. :X I can’t be a normal human who can take pills, I have to crush mine and I’m dreading how horrible that’s going to be. I’m used to my pain medication at this point and it’s not really that bad. But more than that, it has to be spaced apart from my pain medication because it possibly can increase the intensity of my pain med, potentially causing breathing problems, so I’m like oh yay that sounds fun. Sigh. My doctor insists it’s fine, especially with my dosage, but it was scary to find that out. It’ll most likely be fine, but I’ve gotten so paranoid about stuff in recent years that I didn’t used to be about before. I want to start feeling better, but ugh. :/ I’m gonna take the plunge in like an hour. 

Do you like the smell of coconuts? I do. Not the taste, though.

What is the heaviest you think you can lift? 5lbs? haha.

Do you take Tums? Nah, I just take Pepto. I’ve taken them in the past, but they’re chalky and disgusting and sometimes made me gag, so bleh. Apart from their intended purposes, it had been recommended to me by a doctor to take them for increasing calcium cause they have a lot of that, but yeah I didn’t do that much.

Have you ever walked on a pier at the beach? Yes. 

How about under one? No.

At what age do you first remember feeling butterflies in your stomach around someone? I think when I was like 9.

Do you feel that way around anyone now? No. It’s been a few years since I’ve felt that or had feelings for anyone in the romantic sense. What does that feel like again?

Do you ever talk to yourself or think deep thoughts while on the toilet? I think about stuff, sure.

Do you ever sing to yourself? Yeah.

What is a sound that relaxes you? Certain ASMR triggers and ocean sounds.

How hard has it been to reach your main goal in life? I don’t even know what I want to do in life.

Do you remember the song about hoes in different area codes? Yeah.

What is your main heritage? I’m gonna be honest, I don’t know? I get kinda confused with what that is, exactly.

What kind of pickles do you prefer, if you like pickles? Dill pickles. 

What kind of cheese do you prefer, if you like cheese? I love a lot of different cheeses. I just love cheese.

If you could have a sea creature as a pet, what would you want? Nah.

How about a farm animal? Nah.

So, do you have hoes in different area codes? No.

What is the most annoying song you can think of that came out recently? Nothing comes to mind. I haven’t been listening to music lately, though.

What is a song that you hate to admit you like? I don’t hate to admit that I like any song I like.

What inspires you to get off your bum and do something productive? Uhhhh.

Do you ever use Urban Dictionary? I’ve used it, but not regularly.

Do you find the definitions on there to be generally funny or stupid? Both.

What comes to your mind when you hear the word 'transformation'? A big change.

What was something you regularly played with as a child? Barbies.

Have you ever given in to peer pressure? Yes.

What part of your body have you had the most problems with in your life? My back.

Do a lot of people check you out when you're in public? Ha, no. No one does. 

What is a good name for a turtle? *shrug*

Can you imitate any accents well? If so, which one(s)? Nope.

Do you like having your ear nibbled on? I haven’t experienced that.

What makes a good kisser a good kisser? I don’t know. It’s not sloppy? lol. How many times a year do you have a family thing? We haven’t had a big family get together in years.

What are the best things to put in a smoothie? I’m a very simple gal, I just liked strawberries and bananas. Unless I went to Jamba Juice where they add stuff and you can add extras like a protein or caffeine shot or something. 

Do you ever eat with your eyes closed and just focus on the taste? Nah.

What do you dislike most about where you live right now? My city is crappy.

Has anyone ever given you a rose/roses? No.

Are you watching your weight? I need to be gaining weight, I’ve needed to for the past few years now, but I’ve been unsuccessful.

Have you ever become really good friends with someone you found online? Yes. I used to have several close online friends back in the day. Also, I personally love our little survey community on here. We support each other in some way or another and keep up with each other’s lives through our surveys. 

What makes your best friend your best friend? She’s my mom and my rock and has always been there for me. I couldn’t do it without her.

Do you have a drunk uncle? No.

Do you hear weird noises in your house at night? No. I usually have headphones on, though.

What is something you do that is generally more like something the opposite sex does? Uhhh. I don’t know if there is something I do like that. Not that I can think of.

What is the girliest thing you do, if you're a girl? I don’t know. 

What is the coolest tattoo you've ever seen? That’s hard to say. There’s a lot of really cool tattoos. 

Have you ever created anything artistic that you're proud of? If so, what? I’m not crafty, artistic, or creative, sadly.

Do you only eat the middle of the oreo, if you eat oreos? I eat the whole thing, but of course the creme is the best part.

Do you know anyone with a huge ego? Yes.

If so, is there anything else about them you actually like? They’re very intelligent and would do anything for their loved ones.

Do you have any friends who are more like siblings to you? I don’t have any friends.

If so, what about them do you like most?

What do you like on your hotdogs, if you eat hotdogs? Ketchup and mustard. It’s very rare that I’m eating a hotdog at all, though. It’s been years since I’ve had one.

What is everyone else in your house doing right now? My dad is getting ready for work, but my mom and brother are sleeping.

How long do you think it would take you to run a mile? Pfffft. That’s not happening.

Look down. What do you see? My blanket I’m wrapped up in. What is a subject that makes you uncomfortable? Politics. 

What is a subject you can talk on and on about and not get sick of it? I like talking about any of my interests. 

What kind of mood were you in most of today? It’s only 6:37AM.

Has anyone ever walked in on you naked? Nooo.

Tell me an inside joke you have with someone. Nah.

What is the worst thing you've ever done to someone emotionally? Ghosting those I was close to. :/

How do you feel now about the first person you ever dated? I don’t feel anything towards them anymore. I don’t have any bad feelings or anything, it’s just been almost 15 years since then and we haven’t even been in each other’s lives in a decade now and I’ve long since moved on. 

How about the last person (your last ex)? I don’t have any bad feelings towards him either. I’ve moved on years ago as well.

What is the best invention ever invented? There’s been so many.

What is something that needs to be invented? I’m too tired to think of something.

What always makes you burp? It just happens. 

What are you doing tomorrow? Same stuff, different day.

[finity-andbeyond]

kissimmee | 2002

If you cannot get rid of the family skeleton, you may as well make it dance.

                                                                               -george bernard shaw

Daytona Beach, Florida

Summer 2002.

It had been a long damn day. And it was only ten.

It had been a day longer than Fin had even realised in his seven year old mind days could be. A day that started off in their motel room (room 115b - a family room with a double and two singles), just like the rest of them. He’d been brushing his teeth when the fighting started. Brushing his teeth and shaking his butt to the music that was playing through the beat up Sony radio that his mother played on every Saturday morning, and that was just to wake them up so they knew it was time for chores.

It had all been going so well, until their dad had told Indie that he couldn’t go and see his friend Carmen. Fin was by no means a genius, but he liked to think he could understand easy things. The wheels on the bus went round and round, sometimes mommies and dads didn’t have the same last name, and sometimes people (like them) were poor. He understood the harder stuff too, like why his dad’s parents didn’t want to meet him and his brother. He understood why sometimes he and Indie had to be happy with a pack of chips for their meal—a packet of chips and perhaps an orange picked from one of the trees that seemed to pop up in abundance in the glaring Florida sun. Fat, rolling juicy oranges that Indie would have to try and either cut with a butter knife or smash open on a rock. It was hardly an exact science, but it got the job done, and it meant that Fin ended up with orange juice dripping down his chin, but he’d always have a grin on his face.

He understood that sometimes (as his big brother put it) “You do what you have to do.” And sometimes that meant you had to take things without paying for them. Like bread or milk or cereal or peanut butter. He had been taught by Mami that stealing was wrong, and that he should never do it, but Indie had told him he could either take it or go hungry. It was hardly a choice.

Some things though, Fin just did not understand. He didn’t understand why he couldn’t go to Disneyworld but his friends could. He didn’t understand why people in school made fun of his name. He didn’t understand why his dad never seemed to want to be around his children, and if he was honest, he didn’t really understand why once a month Indiana had to go round to Carmen���s house.

Fighting between Jaxon and Indie was hardly news. The two could barely be in the same room without something going awfully wrong. Sometimes it was something as little as the way Indie looked at their dad that would start it off. Fin didn’t understand why.. but sometimes it almost seemed like Indie wanted to have a fight. Sometimes it was like he was picking away at a scab until it made Jaxon bleed out all these horrible words. Words that again, Fin wasn’t sure about. “Deadbeat”, “drug addict” and “visitation” were words that were thrown around a lot, but no matter how hard he asked after a fight had happened, his brother would never explain what they meant. The fights hadn’t ever really scared him. He’d grown up hearing them after all..but what was hard was when they happened during the rainy seasons. After a fight and when the smoke had cleared, Indie and their dad were forced to stay stuck in their tiny home and cool down on opposite sides of the room.

That was another thing. Fin didn’t understand why Taylor Russell had stairs inside his house. The stairs at the motel were metal and his mom had taught him to always go down them slowly, but never touch the railing because there were dirty germs on them. Fin didn’t understand why Indie didn’t call their mom “mom”. Fin called her “mami” or “mommy” but that was because he was little. That he got. Indie called her Bonita and not even their dad called her that. He’d asked her one day why their brother called her Bonita, and she’d just smiled and said “that’s my name, querido. You’re Infinity. I’m Bonita. But you call me Mami.” It was simple. Mommies had their own names, but dad’s and other people called them by their other fake name. Everyone followed that rule but Indie.

Usually the fights didn’t last too long—a crash of thunder in the dead of night that was followed by cooling rain..but today was different. Indiana had his fists clenched at his sides as he yelled back at their dad, saying words Fin didn’t want to hear, and so he didn’t. He covered his ears with his hands and closed his eyes, trying to detach himself. His mother had gotten up early to collect her food stamps and was headed down to the bodega so she could buy things to make a decent dinner after work. He focused. Hungry. Mami. Quiet. Repeat. He was getting good at this game.

As quickly as the fight erupted after Bonita had left, the time between it being over and Fin being yanked to his feet was pretty instantaneous. He opened his eyes to see his brother tugging him outside into the sun, and he scrunched his eyes indignantly, and he protested out loud as the door closed behind them and he was tugged along toward the stairs “Indie, the sun’s hurting my eyes-” Indie was still in fight mode. He snapped back “Tough fucking shit, Infinity.” Fin didn’t even have enough time to be upset that he’d been snapped at, as his brother sighed and at the bottom of the stairs, stepped in front of him “Get on my back. You can hide your eyes on my shoulder.” A piggy back? Those were always fun. Fin grinned and jumped on, not worried for a moment as Indie wobbled as he tried to regain his balance, because he always got it back and this was no exception.

They’d wandered a couple hundred feet out of the Broken Hill motel when they came to the main road. Cars zoomed past, and without warning, Indie stopped (but of course kept Fin safe and sound on his back). Fin frowned momentarily. Had his brother realised he hadn’t showered yet? That he had toothpaste and half a spoonful of milk from yesterday down his shirt? Did he smell? But as usual, Fin’s big brother was just doing a think. Thoughtfully, he asked his ward “Where do you wanna go today?” He was over the moon! They’d played this game before, and Fin knew the right answer. He chirped “Disneyworld, Indie!” Normally that was the cue for them both to laugh or start playing something else, but today his big brother seemed to consider it. He slid Fin down off his back and dug in the pocket of his jeans, pulled out some crumpled ones and some coins. He lifted his eyes to look at his brother “you got any money?” Fin ummed and dug in his own pockets, handing over without question the few coins he had, watching as his brother counted under his breath “Eight dollars and sixty three cents.”

Wow. We’re rich!

Okay. Maybe they weren’t rich...but it seemed that Indie was still deep in thought. He looked around them thoughtfully before he nudged his brother “C’mon.” he led Fin across the street and over a few blocks, by the end of which the seven year olds feet ached. It was only once they reached the Jamba Juice near the bus station. What on earth were they doing there? Indiana had explained to his brother more than once that they couldn’t afford the things that were made in this chain stores. The line for juice was coming out the door, and without a moment’s hesitation, Indie approached it, slipping his hand into Fin’s and standing beside a woman with a stroller and five other kids of her own. It didn’t take more than a millisecond for his hand to slip into the purse of this mother as she attended to two of her children who were fighting over a toy. It didn’t take more than a millisecond for Fin to be pulled away, but it did take a beat for him to realise what had just happened, and react with natural incredulity.

“Indie, you stole.”  His brother didn’t answer.

“....Indiana.” Fin persisted. Now that they were far away from the juice bar and closer to the ticket office, the elder boy hissed “Yeah, I stole it. But remember what I said? What have I always told you?” That stumped his brother a moment. Indie taught him a lot of cool stuff. He was his best friend, his hero and his teacher. Swallowing to try and dislodge the lump in his throat, Fin chorused the mantra he had been taught so early on in his life “You do what you have to do.” His brother nodded as he counted through the notes; notes crisper and newer than Fin had ever seen. He’d never seen a fifty dollar note before, and it was almost like seeing a unicorn. Indie looked around him, and having taken out all the notes, change and credit cards, he went over to a storm drain and dropped the wallet into it, stepping back over to his brother a moment later after he had pocketed the cards “Let’s get you to Disneyland, kid.” Wait, what?

If Fin could’ve flown, he would’ve been soaring above the treetops. He wanted to dance around the bus they were on. Indie had told him not to though, so he settled for relaxing against his brothers side and moving his feet to an imaginary beat. Indie hadn’t said anything since they’d gotten on. He’d asked the bus driver how close to Disneyworld he could get. The driver, a stout, aging black man shook his head “Y’all missed the bus for Disney already. Sorry. The closest I can get you is Kissimmee.” Fin mouthed the name while his brother handed over the fare. Kissimmee. Ki-ssi-mee. It sounded like a made up word, like despicable or ajax. Nudging Indie, who turned an eye to him, Fin tilted his head “Is Disneyworld in Kissimmee?” Indie cast a sympathetic look to his brother “Fin, there’s nothing in Kissimmee. We’re gonna have to walk a long time. I used most of the money on bus fare, and we’ve still gotta get back to ‘Tona. And eat something.” It was as though he’d only just considered that, as he bit his lip and looked away. His younger brother sighed “I wish Mami was here.” he mused, feeling his brother stiffen at his side. Maybe he missed her too.

It took almost three and a half hours to get to Kissimmee. Indie had said they were lucky-that if they’d been from Miami, or Tampa or the Keys that it would’ve taken a plane to get there. The brothers didn’t have passports, and Fin had never so much as been to an airport. It made his mother sad that he didn’t though. He knew that she wished she could go on the plane and fly to the place she came from to see her mami and papi. Fin had never even met them. He’d spoken to them on the phone when he’d been given it, but they never seemed to want to say very much to him. By the time they got there it was the middle of the afternoon, and Indie had insisted they finally have some breakfast. It took a while but they finally tracked down a Burger King, Fin having a happy meal with nuggets and Indie devouring a burger.

Then they started walking.

It was about thirty-five minutes before Fin started getting really tired. He started to slow down, footsteps becoming heavier and his body lolling after his brother. Indie noticed after a few minutes. He stopped and kept his back to his brother, but he didn’t have to say anything--Fin got it. He hopped back up onto his back and wrapped his arms around his neck. They walked for what must’ve been forever. Indie had figured if they followed the main road that they’d eventually come across a sign for Disneyworld, and his logic was right. Fin wasn’t the best at reading. He’d been set it as homework every day by his teacher, but his parents rarely had the time to check he was doing it or helping him. His dad worked weird hours and his mom had taken two jobs just to make sure they had a safety net.

He saw the turrets of a purple castle in the distance, and he pointed it out, shrieking louder than he should’ve so that his brother could hear him over the roar of traffic beside them on the road “Look Indie! Disneyworld!” he felt so excited he thought he might explode. Indiana had started to get tired somewhere into the first hour. He’d soldiered on though, not stopping once, and fiercely cursing at the people who had pulled over and offered them a ride. He had however stopped a few times to ask a bus driver or a cashier in a gas station for directions. Infinity could almost feel his relief that he would soon get to rest. To Fin’s dismay however, when they turned the corner...it was just another motel. A motel just like the one they’d come from, except it was bright purple. Outside the black sign read ‘Magic Castle Inn and Suites’. The turret he’d seen was decorated like a castle, but judging by the smell radiating from the place and the people who hung off it’s balconies, it didn’t seem like the Magic Kingdom he’d been expecting. Indie let him slide to the floor, and he stared at the motel in disbelief. Fin watched him with a worried frown. It was as though he could hear the cogs in his big brother’s brain turning. The thoughts of the almost six hours it had taken them to get this far. And it was all because of that fight in a motel.

A motel just like this one.

Indie clenched his fists. He grabbed his brother and dragged him to reception. Fin started to protest. The grown ups who worked there would be mad...but Indie was madder. The door opened and a bell chimed, and while Fin craned his neck to try and see where the bell was, his brother released him and charged to the desk. Indiana was still not tall enough to see over the top of the desk, and had to stand on his tiptoes, but while his baby brother sat in a chair and picked at a loose thread from his Crash shirt, Indie once again fought their battle. He spoke in a low voice to the bemused man behind the desk, a skinny man with ice cold blue eyes.

His brother returned to him, Fin finally looking up, blinking at him slowly. In his hand Indie held a piece of paper with some lines on it, and he jerked his head toward the door “Let’s go, Fin. Say thank you to the man.” If there was one thing that Bonita has made sure the boys never left the house without, it was their manners. Fin hopped up and waved to the skinny ice man, chirping “thank you, mister.” To which he received a nod..and a weird look. It almost seemed like the Ice Man felt sorry for them. Maybe he did. Maybe he knew how long they’d been on the bus. It didn’t occur to him that it could’ve been their dirty, a few sizes too small clothes.

Indie was pulling him down the street—in the direction opposite to the one they’d come. Then he made a sharp turn, and all of a sudden, the grey pavement below them turned to grass. Confused, the younger Waters piped up “Where we goin’ Indie?” His brother didn’t answer at first, but Fin could see another motel in the future. No.. this wasn’t a motel, it was a.. he frowned, trying to remember the word. It was the word they used when they talked about the people with lots of money. It was a.. it was a resort! A large, sprawling resort with carefully curated flower beds and a fountain outside its entrance. Were they rich now? Was this where the Ice Man lived? Was he coming to Disneyworld too?

To his surprise, Indie looped them round to the back. The sun was beginning to set now and the sound of crickets and the smell of lake water was starting to becoming more unavoidable. At the back of the resort was a lake, surrounded by water reeds, cattails and signs that had pictures of fish on them. When his brother stopped suddenly by the lake and released Fin, the younger boy blinked in confusion. Were they going swimming? Indiana was peering around now, brow furrowed and frowning as he seemed to search the sky for something. When he finally saw it he grabbed Fin and lifted him as high as he could, which couldn’t have been more than a couple of feet, but it made him laugh nonetheless.

“Look. D’you see it? Cinderella’s castle.” Fin felt his heart start to thump. Were they in.. he caught sight of the familiar turrets from the commercials and gasped, pointing at it with an excited cry “Indie! Indie look! We’re in Disneyworld! We did it, we did it!” He jumped down and threw his arms around his brother, overcome with emotion—especially excitement. He giggled softly and closed his eyes as he felt Indiana’s hand finally touch his back, whispering “Thank you, Indie. This is the best day ever.” He didn’t look up, but he didn’t have to. Nothing could’ve topped this moment.

“Wait here.” His big brother murmured, gently nudging him off “If anybody comes out, you hide and wait for me to come back, okay? Just like we practised at Dollartree.” Fin nodded his understanding, complete and utter faith in his brother, his hero overcoming any natural fear he might’ve had. Indie disappeared and for a moment, all Fin could do was sit on the mildewy grass and stare up at the stars as one by one they appeared. He stared as lights flashed from around the castle, as thought something was about to begin.

Indie came back after around fifteen minutes, his arms laden with snacks. Fin thought it best not to ask where he’d gotten them. After today and this trip? He was sure he’d never ask again. It was funny, he could never ever imagine being mad at his big brother again. With a tired groan Indiana collapsed down beside him, shoving the pack Doritos and four pack of sodas between them, ripping the Doritos open and shoving one into his mouth. Fin was confused “Why’re we just sitting here? Can’t we go on the rides?” Indie swallowed slowly as though in thought “...Nah. We’ve gotta stay here. We’ve got the best seats in the house though, trust me.” And Fin did. Completely.

It took about a half hour before he started to shift, beginning to get bored with just sitting. Indie was content or so it seemed, happy to eat his junk food and take a break from all the walking he’d done. Fin however was only seven and wanted constant entertainment. He hopped up “I wanna do something.” He stated purposefully. Indie lifted his head lazily, and replied curtly “Hop on one leg.” He did. “Okay, now..run over and touch that light pole.” He gestured to a light close to the hotel, which was now shrouded in darkness apart from that one source of light. Fin raced over as fast as his legs would carry him and ran back, out of breath “I..” he puffed “did..it..Indie.” His brother nodded, reaching out to hold him by the wrist and pulling him back to sit down, murmuring reassuringly “Won’t be long now. I promise. Do you want a gummy bear?” Well, since they were on offer.

Fin was about thirteen gummy bears in when he lifted his head at the same time as his brother, both of them having heard the faint music starting to play. A search light illuminated the turret of Cinderella’s castle, and Fin could faintly see something fluttering around it, and he grasped Indie’s arm, clinging to it “Look Indie! It’s Tinkerbelle!” His brother chuckled “Yeah, yeah I see her. You ready?” Out of his pocket he pulled a black, sleek packet. The tubes he pulled out were dulled colours, yellow, pink, green. Indie read the back with a frown before snapping one. Immediately color, bright and beautiful like the ones illuminated in the pixies that were being projected onto the castle lit the air. Indie did the same for each of them before holding them out “Which one d’you want?” Fin picked the green and yellow one, and Indie held onto the orange and pink ones. He was busy trying to loop them around his wrists when he felt a tap on his shoulder and looked to his left, to his hero beside him. Indie grinned and pointed to the castle, and as Fin looked up, the sky exploded in color.

Staring in awe, he was mesmerised as firework after firework exploded in front of him, seeming to fold and turn into the next one. His head snapped round to his big brother, who was watching him with a strange smile “Indie, is it magic?” He seemed to hesitate, before his smile grew and he nodded “Yeah, Fin. Yeah, it is.” Gasping with amazement and wonder, Fin rose to his feet and stepped toward the fireworks, or rather the trees and thick brush that separated him from stepping forward..from going inside the castle. He felt a hand on his shoulder and before he could turn, Indie stopped him from going any further by wrapping his arm around his brother’s shoulders, holding him in place “We’ve got our own colors. Hey, maybe if you wave your yellow one a yellow firework’ll go off.” Curious, he tried it. His eyes scanned the sky and as if by magic, a yellow firework exploded, and he gasped in amazement. Magic, he thought.

Indie really was magic.

[30daysofcharlee-blog]

Day 4

September 7, 2019

Today I consumed a ton of cleaning. I thoroughly cleaned my entire apartment from top to bottom. I began in the living room, then moved to the kitchen, bathroom, art studio, and ended in my bedroom. Acknowledging my consumption of clothes/shoes yesterday inspired me to even clean out my closets. I made quite a large donation pile filled with clothes, shoes and an old vacuum that I no longer need. Not only am I getting rid of clutter in my home, I'm also helping others which I feel good about. I never actually made it to Goodwill today like I intended but that's just fine, I can do it another day. 

After a morning of cleaning, I went to a late lunch with my mom at Punch Pizza. I consumed a large punch salad and two pieces of my pizza. I expected to eat a lot more of the pizza but I started with the salad and it did a pretty good job of filling me up. Then we went to Whole Foods to grocery shop and also got Acai bowls from Jamba Juice in the process. The foods I consumed so far today are some of my all time favorites, I mean what's better than punch pizza and smoothie bowls? My mom and I went back to her house and we consumed an episode of a show called “What would you do?” It explores how ordinary people behave when they are confronted with controversial dilemmas that require them either to take action or to walk by and mind their own business. I think it’s a great show and I'm actually not a big TV consumer at all. Consuming TV is more of an occasional thing for me.

I went home and decided to write this blogpost before getting into the shower and getting ready for the night. I’m going out to Marvel bar with a few friends and I’m really looking forward to it. I plan on consuming a few drinks, great conversation, and uber rides. My weekends are oftentimes filled with things like this, which I enjoy. 

Note: I’ve started collecting the tea bags I consumed and the wrappers they come in. So far I have 3 tea bags in my collection.

[toxic-trap]

You ever get really bored and decide you wanna do tag games / memes? Well that’s what my ass is gonna do. This is a tag from the Vent app.

random tag meme

(originally made by ??)

01: Tell me the truth, what made you start liking the person you like right now?

– Similar interests, similar views, also ace, their natural hair looks fluffy and cute... Also they seem to have really nice shirts. Just a side note.

02: What on your body is hurting or bothering you?

– My back always seems to hurt and my fingers too honestly. I can’t crack either of them and it sucks y’all.

03: What was your last thought before going to bed last night?

– Two different things; 1) worrying about work, and 2) thinking of how the in the hell to ask for someone’s number.

04: What are you listening to?

– My mom cooking and my niece being loud upstairs. Oh, and my brother playing his games.

05: What’s something you’re not looking forward to?

– Work, honestly.

06: Where do you think your best friend is right now?

– shrug emoji

07: Have you kissed anybody in the last five days?

– Like... romantically? Platonically? I mean this seemingly nice little old lady who sometimes works at the same time I do greeted me the other day and we did that cheek kiss.

08: Favourite song?

– A lot of my current favorites are fnaf fan songs and you can’t expect me to pick a favorite.

09: Kiss on the first date?

– Assuming I knew them and talked to them beforehand and they were okay with it then maybe.

10: Is there one person you want to be with right now?

– Aside from my crush (y’know, to hang out, which would be nice) but... das gay.

11: Are you seriously happy with where you are in life?

– So far I’m happy with where I’m going.

12: Is there something you would like to say to someone?

– I’m pretty sure they know who they are, so I’ll just say this: I’m stupidly anxious but know I am planning on asking you something.

13: What are three things you did today?

– Got up to go to the bathroom, and very soon I have to call work for my schedule.

14: Would you rather sleep at a friend’s or have them over?

– I would rather then come over, however if my house or room is a little messy I would go over or ask to hang out elsewhere.

15: What is your favourite kind of gum?

– Big Red and that bubble tape.

16: Are you friends with any of your ex boyfriends / girlfriends?

– Eh... I haven't blocked my ex but I don't talk to him either.

17: What is on your wrists right now?

– Two bracelets on each wrist.

18: Ever liked someone you thought you didn’t stand a chance with?

– That’s my current situation now. I mean I’m sure I have a big chance but my hell brain just doesn’t like me.

19: Does anyone have strong feelings for you?

– I would sure hope so. 👀

20: Are you slowly drifting away from someone?

– Not that I'm aware of.

21: Have you ever wasted your time on someone?

– If you count that dude I really liked in 10th (?) grade then yes. Fuck him, honestly. He’s the main reason why I suck at telling people how I feel and why romance sometimes makes me freaking sick.

22: Can you do the alphabet in sign language?

– I don’t know sign language, but I’m very much

interested in learning it.

23: How have you felt today?

– Just tired mostly. And a little anxious.

24: You receive $60 without any reason, what do you spend it on?

– That would last me months because I don’t really buy things often.

25: What is wrong with you right now?

– God, let me count the ways.

26: Is there anyone you’re really disappointed in?

– Hm... not at the moment.

27: Would you rather have starbucks or jamba juice right now?

– I don’t drink / eat either.

28: Why aren’t you in ‘love’ with your last ex anymore?

– I haven’t been ‘in love’ with anyone so...

29: How late did you stay up last night and why?

– It was around... 6-ish or so in the morning. Body just didn’t wanna sleep, I guess

30: When was the last time you talked to one of your best friends?

– If the dude who likes / liked counts as a best friend now, I properly talked to him for a bit some time yesterday.

31: What were you doing an hour ago?

– Laying in bed.

32: What are you looking forward to in the next month?

– Getting better at my job and maybe also... having a... partnerjaksla

33: Are you wearing jeans right now?

– Nope.

34: Are you a patient person?

– Most days I‘m too patient I think.

35: Do you think you can last in a relationship?

– I would hope so...

36: Favourite color?

– Blue!

37: Did you have a dream last night?

– I... don't remember.

38: Are you wearing jeans, shorts, sweatpants, or pyjama pants?

– Shorts. Pajama shorts to be specific.

39: If someone could be cuddling you right now, who would you want it to be?

– ... *flustered rabbit noise*

40: Do you love anyone who is not related to you?

– The friends I do have, of course.

41: If someone liked you right now, would you want them to tell you?

– They already did, but my hell brain is always just telling me otherwise.

42: Do you like meeting new people?

– I don’t mind it, but I hate how awkward I get when it comes to meeting new people.

43: Are you afraid of falling in love?

– It’s not the act of falling that scares me I think. It’s whether my feelings stay or my partner still feels the same after a while.

44: Ever self-harmed or starved yourself?

– I mean my eating habits are kinda bad but that doesn’t count as actively starving.

45: Has anyone ever told you that you have pretty eyes?

– I get that a lot, actually. Despite my dark ass circles and Walmart bags.

46: Have you ever felt like you weren’t good enough?

– Oof, have I ever.

I tag?: Hey man, do it if you want. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

[nsorchidsociety]

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It’s recently come to our attention the Galen Dining Center, also known as “in which the soccer team occupies” to campus tour guides, has gone undetected for many throughout their time at USC. What is the Galen Dining Center, you ask? That is what Steve Flanders, a senior, asked also. “I simply never… MORE “

5 GPA Boosters For The Fall Schedule

Believe it or not Trojans, choosing your fall courses is right round the corner. If you are not an engineer and also have a couple credits to spare, why don’t you take something completely ridiculous interesting  that will cushion your GPA at exactly the exact same time? After requesting the brightest and finest about, I have compiled some options That May just grant you… MORE “

Mad Men Returned to TV (And I Liked It)

Oh! Hey USC Basement. Superior news. Take out your fitted blazer, skinny tie, and pen skirt since the men of Madison Avenue come back! AKA Season 5 of Mad Men. The season began with a bang in a two hour premiere last Sunday. Let’s party like it’s 1966! MORE “

Cool Story Bro: “I must have clotheslined him”

A child, perhaps 14 or 15, was bolting towards me. Like, at top speed. And just like in the movies, time seemed to slow down. I couldn’t move. My ideas were all: “That is odd. He is running like, really quickly. He likely has to grab a bus. God I really want a Coke Zero. French fries. Jon Hamm. Wait, what–” MORE “

10 Totally Wonderful Things to perform (On Campus) Over Spring Break

So you are stuck on campus for spring break. Do not fret! (do people use that phrase anymore?) This can be your chance to take advantage of USC’s “one way” place for the best staycation. Yes I only used the term “staycation.” Here’s a few of our ideas: 1). Try every fast food chain onto Figueroa. If you currently live… MORE “

CampusCruiser offers new service “CampusLoser”

We’ve been ““ dressed to impress at the best rager on Thursday night. The clock strikes 1am with DPS nowhere in sight; a wonderful song comes on because you talk up the hottie you’ve been meaning to talk to for months. Then, from nowhere? The person you least want to view… MORE “

Cool Story Bro: The Laundry Room

This article is part of a brand new series in which Becca over-dramatically remembers “cool narrative bro” moments from her time at USC.   “WTF,” said a girl down the hall. Her voice seemed like evil grossness. The door to my New-North cubby-hole-of-a-dorm-room was wide open and the high-pitched voice kept at it. “Ewww somebody took my… MORE “

Breaking News College Professors Are Old

A recent study performed by the Old People Association of Educational Things and Stuff found that 89% of college professors are indeed age 60+. And yet, the evaluation not only quantified physical era, but psychological age, developing a record breaking statistic of college professors with an older mental age at 99 percent. The analysis… MORE “

‘Smash’ Smashes ‘Glee’ Just Like Woah

Even the premiere of NBC’s Smash past Monday has a great deal of folks talking ““ and hammering ““ about a series that could finally dethrone the sad, overwritten, burnt-out-at-three-seasons “struck” known as Glee. Ouch. That was mean. See, I was like Glee. I did. I loved Rachel, and Kurt, and mash-ups, along with regionals, but somewhere… MORE “

BREAKING NEWS: “The Muppets” Acquire NOTHING at the Golden Globes”¦ WTF?!

In the 69th Annual Golden Globe awards there were lots of winners, the huge ones “The Descendants,” “The Artist,” “Homeland,” and “Modern Family.” However, a night which attracts many winners also brings about even more losers. And while people might be angry that “Bridesmaids” didn’t win gold did Leonardo DiCaprio walk off… MORE “

21-year-old can drink in bars, can not afford to drink in bars

“I’m not ordering cocktails made of gold” Yelled one SC senior because he was escorted from a busy downtown pub yesterday evening. “Can they come off-brand?? Can you do payment plans?!” He’s only one of many students whose long-awaited 21st birthdays immediately tanked due to bar-drink sticker shock. “Fifteen dollars is either a bottle… MORE “

To Rick Perry, Love Santa Claus

Dear Gov. Perry, I’m not scared to admit the concept of me is a little creepy. I mean, it says in a tune I can see children when they’re sleeping. And while that’s true, I don’t abuse my position of energy to pedophilistically spy on minors nor do I use it to publically… MORE “

All Women in Sorority House Hate Drama, Charlotte

As past nights chapter dinner, a lot more individual talks, unlimited hours of   study, and a recent media release in the sorority have revealed, All the women in the Theta Delta Chi home have commented they, “Hate Drama.” Drama has been cast off with this category also, “Shitty,” and, “Annoying,” previously. The… MORE “

Beneath fire, NCAA remains committed to amateurism

Lately and always, the NCAA has already come under fire for its failure to Keep the Exact standards when dealing with distinct compliance cases, particularly when compared to 2010 sanctions against USC who have become viewed as too harsh and really helpless.     While USC confronted severe scholarship discounts along with a two-year bowl prohibit, ” the… MORE “

What Summer Orientation Should Have Been

Those still on campus for summer time might have noticed that it is abuzz with three-day bursts of panicky, fresh-faced nervous energy recently. People without much else to keep them amused are aware ““ it is summer orientation! If you are like me, you had been rejected when you implemented to work orientation (twice!) But also want you… MORE “

Involvement Honest signatures demonstrated to become binding contracts

The thrilling Involvement Fair was in full swing because enthused clubs and organizations lured involvement-hungry students in with guarantees of philanthropy, a great time plus melted oreos to a day which felt like being inside Satan’s drier.   Following the blueprint of Involvement Fairs anyplace, no stall visit was complete without the obligatory signing of… MORE “

My Inner-Battle about Whether to See “Pitch Perfect”

SCA’s “Outside the Box Office” film screening series is performing a sneak preview of Universal’s “Pitch Perfect” tomorrow. I have a reservation since I make a booking for whatever I’ve really heard of before studying the website. But I Can’t decide on if I should move or not, I keep swaying back… MORE “

5 Reasons Why “The Immortals” May Die Out

The Immortals opened last weekend, and audiences everywhere seem to think it wasn’t talking Greek.   (They had been right–it wasn’t.   Anyone who believed otherwise should see their health practitioner.)   Even the mythology-laced 3D sword-and-sandals film managed to top the box in the united states and in overseas markets with more than 30 million in each area.   Haroo, haroo, haroop-de-doo…. MORE “

Neighborhood superhero reportedly always remembers trash day, people’s names

From the warmth of superhero blockbuster season, a real live one has been recently found on campus. Early listed sightings were separate but seemingly described the exact same student who looked “like a regular dude,” but does some fairly nonregular things. Known only by his people moniker, “Steve” supposedly “consistently puts in for beer. And… MORE “

from Society http://www.nsorchidsociety.com/collegiate-honor-society-honors-everybody/

[lovemesomesurveys]

Who are your heroes/heroines, if any? My mom.

Did you/will you go anywhere on Sunday? Yesterday was Sunday and I didn’t go anywhere and I won’t be this upcoming Sunday either. The only time I’ll be going somewhere this month is tomorrow for my monthly doctor appointment.

What always makes you really tired? I’m just always tired.

When is the last time you did something sexual? Never.

Would you ever want to go on a cruise? They sound fun, but I’m a big scardy cat. The idea of being out in the middle of the ocean when you can’t swim and have a fear of deep water is terrifying. I also get motion sickness, so that wouldn’t be fun. I just don’t see being able to enjoy myself on a cruise.

Do you know anyone named Jane? What is your association with her? Nope.

How is your hair styled right now? How was it styled 5 years ago? It’s up in a messy bun right now. Five years ago I actually used to wear my hair down and it looked decent. 

Do you believe there is someone out there for everyone? I mean, you’d think with as many people as there are in the world you should be able to find someone. Several someones, potentially. But maybe you don’t cross paths with one of them. Or perhaps you don’t realize it or something happens that messes things up. Anyway, yes, I think you can find someone for you. The possibility is there. I wonder if I ever will, though.

What are your plans for the rest of this week? Same things I do everyday apart from my doctor appointment tomorrow thrown into the mix. Has anyone ever tripped you on purpose or vice versa? No.

Where would you like to go on your honeymoon? I don’t even plan on getting married.

Who is the last child you held? My cousin’s baby, several years ago. 

Would you ever spend all day making a ship in a bottle? I don’t see myself doing that.

Have you ever woken up not knowing where you were? No.

Do you still give those little paper valentines to your friends? I haven’t done that since elementary school.

Have you ever been in handcuffs? Why? No.

If you could trade hearts with anyone for one day, who would it be? Uh, I don’t want to trade hearts with someone. 

Who is the last person you showered with, if anyone? I only shower alone.

Can you answer seventy times seven off the top of your head? I can.

Do you get excited whenever you see a rainbow in the sky? It is pretty cool cause it’s not something I see very often.

What sport do you think is better than baseball? I don’t care about any sport. 

What is one thing you will never change about yourself? My open-mindedness. 

Would you consider naming your daughter Penelope? I don’t want to have kids. 

Do you listen to your heart or you brain? It depends, but my emotions do tend to lead the way a lot of the time. I can know something logically, but my emotions will say otherwise.

Would you know how to get to Canada by looking at a map? I think so. 

How did you learn about sex? My mom, school, TV.

What is something you remember from your childhood, but you remember it vaguely? My preschool days.

When is the last time you made the wrong choice in anything? I’ve made a lot of wrong choices in my life and it’s caused me a lot of problems. Just these past few years alone...

If you were in a movie, would you want a stuntman, or would you want to do the stunts? I’m in a wheelchair, so what stunts would be happening?

Do you know anyone who gets EVERYTHING they want because they are so spoiled? Yes.

Who, alive or dead, would you want to do drugs with? I don’t want to do drugs.

What do you think the 22nd century will be like? It’s pretty wild to think about what things will be like then. I wonder what advancements will be made. What will the people be like? What will people do? Will they never have to experience a pandemic? I didn’t think we ever would like this, but here we are. Will things finally be like The Jetsons? haha.

What do you think when you see roadkill on the side of the road? I can’t look, it makes me sick.

Did sex ed actually teach you anything? Yeah.

Have you ever had an ex that just didn't understand that it was over? Yes. He kept trying to get back together for several years after and I had made it very, very clear how I felt and that I moved on a long time ago. I was very straightforward about it. He just didn’t want to listen. We could no longer be friends anymore because of it, I had to cut things off for good. He’s a really nice guy, but it just didn’t work out. I hope he’s happy and doing well.

What do you think your mother thought when she first saw you after giving birth? She was very happy and excited.

What do you want to be buried with after you die? I want to be cremated. 

When was the last time you moved to a new house? About a decade ago.

What is the most interesting thing in the room you are in? I have a Baby Yoda/Grogu animatronic, which I think is adorable and really cool.

On a weekend, how long do you typically lay in bed before getting up? At least an hour, sometimes longer. 

How long was your longest relationship? On and off for about three years. <<< Same. 

What is your star sign? (ex: Aquarius) I’m a Leo.

Now what is the star sign of your significant other/crush? I don’t have a significant other or crush.

Which cities/states have you lived in? You can just name states if you want. I’ve only lived in California.

Tell me about how your parents met. How old were they? They met when they were coworkers at this store that’s like a Home Depot or Lowe’s when they were in their early and mid 20s.

Are you in college? If not, where do you want to go to college and why? I graduated UC back in 2015.

What makes your bedroom special to you/what is your favorite part about it? It’s my comfortable space where I spend a lot of time and it has all the things I love and collected. 

When washing your hands, do you wet your hands or put soap on first? I do soap first then add some water to get it really lathered up.

If you had to pick one chore to do today, what would it be? I don’t want to do any chores, though. ha.

When was the hardest you ever cried? What was the circumstance? Losing my grandparents and my dog, Brandie.

Where do you usually buy your clothes? Boxlunch and Hot Topic.

Are your fingernails currently short or long? They’re always barely there cause I’m constantly picking and clipping at them.

If you had to be a school teacher, which subject would you teach? English.

What do you usually order at Jamba Juice? I haven’t been there in years, but I liked strawberry banana or the blueberry acai. 

Have you ever been to see Rocky Horror? I’ve been to a few watch parties that the psych club I was in in community college put on every February. We did movie nights and that was our biggest one for sure. A ton of people would come dressed up and sing and dance along and there were props to use at certain times and things to shoutout at certain times. It was really fun.

How long have you had your cell phone? I just got a new one for Christmas.

Which gift cards do you have in your wallet? None.

Which celebrity do you think is the prettiest nowadays? Gal Gadot is really pretty.

[krissysbookshelf]

Enjoy An Exclusive Sneek Peek Of: Who's That Girl by Blair Thornburgh!

  Nattie has always been that under-the-radar straight girl who hangs out in the cafeteria with her gay-straight alliance friends.

She's never been the girl that gets the guy, let alone the girl that gets a hit song named after her. But when last summer's crush, smoking-hot musician Sebastian Delacroix—who has recently hit the mainstream big-time—returns home to play a local show, that's just what she gets. He and his band have written a chart-topping single—"Natalie"—which instantly makes Nattie second guess everything she thought about their awkward non-kiss at that June pool party. With her once-normal life starting to resemble a gossip magazine, Nattie is determined to figure out if her brief moment with Sebastian was the stuff love songs are made of—or just a one-hit wonder.

LEARN MORE

  CHAPTER ONE

Everything weird started the day my dad brought home the yurt.

“Robert?”

Anne McCullough, alias Mom, was peering through the windows of our back door, cup of coffee in hand, and frowning. Robert Schwartz, alias Dad, had taken the station wagon somewhere early that morning and was now puttering around in the yard. But since puttering was one of those activities Dad did to relax, like separating the recycling or buying dress shoes on eBay, I wasn’t exactly concerned.

“Nattie?”

Natalie McCullough-Schwartz, alias Nattie, alias me, was sitting at the kitchen table, chomping through a noontime bowl of granola. It was Saturday, after all, so I was entitled to loaf around for a bit, reading and eating cereal to the soundtrack of the college radio station that my parents had playing 24-7.

“Whuh?” I responded without looking up from my phone, where I was completing my normal Saturday-morning Pixstagram catch-up session.

“Where did your dad go this morning?”

“I dunno.” I shrugged. “Groceries or something? I was asleep.”

My mom was still frowning. She had her grayish auburn hair piled up on top of her head in a knot, which could have been either an intentional artistic look or just the result of not having brushed her hair yet. I was sporting a similar style, but for the latter reason.

“Sam? Did you see my husband go anywhere?”

Huang Xueyang, alias Sam Huang, was sitting at the desk in the kitchen, eating breakfast and probably checking his email from his family in China, and shook his head. Perhaps to assuage parental guilt over their blatant negligence of every school-related activity from signing permission slips on time to “not forgetting the date of the parent potluck for the third year in a row,” the McCullough-Schwartzes had been first to volunteer when the Owen Wister Preparatory Academy needed host families for foreign exchange students. So, since the beginning of the last school year, Sam Huang had been part of the clan. It was like suddenly having a fifteen-year-old brother, which I liked because it meant I always had someone to split a microwave lasagna with, my mom liked because it meant we were putting the spare bedroom to good use, and my dad liked because Sam played classical guitar and was “the son I never had,” which made Sam and me feel kind of equally uncomfortable.

My mom looked out the door again.

“Robert?”

Even though it was October, we still had the screen door up, because procrastination is a McCullough-Schwartz family value. So my dad should have been able to hear her, but she wasn’t getting a response.

“Robert?”

There was a definite tone now. Sam poured another bowl of Cocoa Puffs. I scrolled down my phone. At the top of my feed was an artsy shot of the Donut, the front-lawn sculpture at Owen Wister Preparatory Academy that was actually called something like Concentricity of Knowledge, a photo that was intriguing because one, it was a Saturday, so no one was at school and two, it was posted by user sebdel, alias Sebastian Delacroix, who had left Wister forever when he graduated. Or so I had thought.

“I think he’s . . . Is he unloading something from the car? Sam? Nattie?”

Sam smiled but shook his head. I wasn’t going to move, but Mom clearly wanted someone involved and I, as her flesh and blood, was beholden to her will.

“Nattie. Come here.”

Reluctantly, I tore myself away from creeping on Sebastian Delacroix’s Pixstagram feed and stood up. She took a pull from her coffee and narrowed her eyes, pointing out into the backyard.

Dad was definitely out there, wearing his weekend polar fleece and covering his balding head with one of his grimy bandannas. Next to him, on top of the maple leaves that no one had raked yet, was a stack of various pieces of wood, a beat-up red toolbox, and what seemed to be a heap of fabric.

“Looks like it,” I said.

“I can’t believe this,” Mom said. “And neither of you knew anything?”

She cast a hard look back at the room, where Sam Huang was now kind of cowering.

“Sam,” Mom said slowly and a little too nicely, “you know you can tell us anything. I mean, tell me. Especially about my husband’s whereabouts.”

“I . . .” Sam Huang darted a glance at the door. “I wasn’t supposed to say.”

Mom was not having it. “Come on, Sam. Where did he go?”

Sam Huang fidgeted again. “He said he was going to pick up something for the lawn. And that it was a surprise.”

“Aha.” Triumphant, and indignant, Mom swung open the screen door and started off across the yard. I unrolled my sleeves and followed, because it was chilly and I was curious. The ground was cold and a little mushy under my bare feet, but not cold enough to make me go back for shoes.

“Robert? What’s going on here?”

Mom marched right up to the edge of the little clearing Dad had made with his supplies in the corner of the yard, and folded her arms. Around us, the air was thick with mystery, and also fog. I tried to put it together: we already had a toolshed, and both Sam and I were way too old for a swing set. I had begged for a trampoline for my last birthday, but Mom insisted they were death traps, and she was probably right, given the way Dad tended to construct things. The McCullough-Schwartz basement was a graveyard of splintered IKEA dressers and oblong birdhouses no self-respecting blue jay would nest in.

“Oh, there you are!” Dad said, as if he’d completely missed her entreaties from the kitchen. He straightened up and mopped his face with the bandanna. He was beaming. “Looking good, isn’t it?”

“What is?”

My dad’s grin faltered just slightly.

“The yurt. Of course.”

“Nattie?” Sam Huang appeared, holding my phone, which I’d left on the kitchen table. “You have a message.”

I took my phone and unlocked it to discover not one message, but three.

From: Tess Kozlowski

JAMBA ALERT

where are you

it’s important!!!

“What’s a Jamba alert?” asked Sam Huang. “Is it an emergency?”

I considered. Last May, Tess had found herself mysteriously subscribed to text alerts about smoothie deals from Jamba Juice, which we both thought was hilarious, and so, naturally, ever since then, we have referred to every text message, whether smoothie-related or not, as a Jamba alert. I knew our role as a host family was to be ambassadors for the American people, or something, but this was a weirdness that went beyond national cultural differences and into the weirdness of my particular group of friends.

“No.” I locked my phone again. Tess was my best friend and the person I trusted most in the world, but she was also the most liberal person I knew, both in her politics and her definition of important. So I knew whatever her deal was could wait until after the yurt. Whatever that was.

“The what?” Mom was saying.

“Yurt,” Dad repeated, like this was a word people used every day. “The traditional dwelling of the nomadic peoples of the steppes of Central Asia. It’s a sanctuary.”

“Robert,” Mom said slowly. “We don’t dwell in the steppes of Central Asia. We dwell in the suburbs of eastern Pennsylvania.”

“Right, but that’s just the beauty of it. It’s like an escape, for the family, right here in our backyard.” Noticing me, he wiggled his eyebrows. “Whaddya think, Nattie Gann?”

Natty Gann was the name of a plucky Depression-era orphan from a 1980s Disney movie that no one except my dad seemed to remember. It was also his favorite, dadliest nickname for me.

“I thought you said you were going to build a hot tub one day,” I said.

Actually, the putative yurt was taking over the exact space where I’d envisioned having our spa. I’d always wanted to have a cool place to put my friends—Tess, Tall Zach, and Zach the Anarchist, alias the Acronymphomaniacs, which we called ourselves not because of any actual nymphomania, but because we were fond of abbreviations and also belonged to a club with an uncommonly unwieldy acronym. It had just sort of stuck.

“He said he’d think about it,” Mom corrected.

Bzz. Bzz.

I thumbed my phone unlocked again.

From: Tess Kozlowski

nattieeeeee come hang out

“A yurt,” Dad said soberly, “is much better than a hot tub.”

This I took issue with. Because while I knew that, as a teenager teetering on the verge of adulthood and also the college process, I should have capital-G goals like “achieving purposefully,” “actionizing change,” and “not failing the math portion of the SATs,” my number one actual goal in life was just not to be weird. A hot tub was different, sure, but in a cool way. (Well, literally in a hot way, but the point stands.) A yurt, though, would just be a monument to strangeness and eccentricity—and for what? I couldn’t put it on a college application unless maybe I was applying to something like architectural school. And even then they’d probably flunk me for being too weird.

“Now, just a second, Robert,” Mom said. “We haven’t even discussed this.”

“Right, I know. But I was browsing the online yesterday night, and someone in the city was getting rid of this yurt kit for practically nothing because he had nowhere to put it, but I had to act fast or else he was just going to donate it to charity. I picked it up this morning.”

Dad looked proud, but Mom looked positively pained.

“What on earth are we going to do with a yurt?” she asked.

“What on earth would a charity do with a yurt?” I asked.

It took Dad a minute to come up with an answer. “Hang out,” he said. “Do some art projects. Or just get some nice peace and quiet, you know? The guy told me the yurt is intentionally built with a low ceiling and door, so you can’t get in without humbling yourself—”

“It’s built that way to keep the heat in,” I pointed out, vaguely recalling a social studies class.

Dad wasn’t listening. “We’ll get some cushions out here, a couple of candles, maybe a cast-iron stove to burn up some logs. . . .” He got a dreamy look in his eyes.

Mom looked like she’d rather burn the raw yurt materials than any logs. Even though she is, professionally, a creative person, Mom is not a big fan of Dad’s weekend projects. Maybe it’s because she gets to build frames for beautiful paintings all day and he’s cooped up in an office doing whatever it is executive directors of nonprofit voting-rights advocacy groups do all day, or maybe it’s because he’s left one half-dug koi pond too many in our front yard, but either way, the McCullough-Schwartzes do not have a good track record with home improvements.

“You can’t just start building a yurt in our backyard, Robert,” Mom said. “It looks . . . ugly.”

“Well, sure, it looks ugly now,” Dad said. “But soon it’ll be a circular canvas tent!”

This did not placate Mom. “What will the neighbors think?”

“It’s not for the neighbors,” Dad said. “It’s for us. Look, Sam Huang loves it.”

Sam Huang did not look like he wanted to get involved in an altercation between his host parents. I briefly wondered what would happen to him if they got divorced. Or to me, for that matter.

“We need to have a place to relax,” Dad said. “It’ll be good for us.”

Mom pursed her lips. “Does the place to relax have to be so . . . visible?”

In my pocket, my phone buzzed for the billionth time.

From: Tess Kozlowski

NATTIE JAMBA ALERT GET HERE OR ELSE WE

WILL ALL BE VERY SAD

:’( :’( :’(

I decided it was probably time to indulge Tess. And also get dressed, because it was twelve fifteen and I should probably do something more with my day than Pixstagram stalking. I was curious about the outcome of the whole yurt-stravaganza, but knowing my parents, the odds of a swift resolution were about as good as me applying to architectural school.

“I’m . . . gonna go see Tess,” I said, and backed away slowly.

“Great,” Mom said, in a tone of voice that was anything but great.

“Have fun!” Dad said brightly.

“Bye, Nattie,” said Sam Huang.

The screen door slapped behind me as I crossed the threshold back to the warmth of the kitchen and the bowl of mush that had once been my breakfast. When I stomped down the back stairs ten minutes later, Mom and Dad were at the counter, Dad gesticulating wildly and Mom laughing over a fresh cup of coffee, Sam Huang was set up at his computer watching guitar videos on YouTube, and beneath everything else, as always, the radio was softly playing an unfamiliar song.

  Original post: http://ift.tt/2uuOt25

from Blogger http://ift.tt/2vGGPR0

[365-money-diary]

DAYS 70 - 76

DAY SEVENTY 

8:15 AM - I wake up feeling stuffed up. I had a cold all weekend and it’s not doing amazing things for my overall wellbeing.

8:45 AM - On my way to work, I stop at Dunkin’ Donuts and order a large hot black coffee and an order of hashbrowns. I stopped buying coffee Monday - Friday, but I have a little money leftover on my DD card for special instances. Today I am sick, out of toddy in the office, and I have a meeting at 10:00 that I have to prepare for and my intern will be at the office promptly at 9:00, so this seems like a good day to cash in. (No charge since I previously paid for my card to be loaded.) 

10:45 AM - After my meeting I check my accounts and see that nothing I spent over the weekend has hit #NOTSIMPLE. I check their support page and it says they’re aware of the issue and working on a solution soon. I also make more toddy for tomorrow, so I don’t have an excuse to stop at DD if I’m still feeling under the weather.

12:00 PM - I check the fridge and see that all of my Sprouts salad ingredients have held up over the weekend. I walk over and grab a bunch of kale and a can of ginger ale in case my stomach doesn’t react well to eating. $1.76

12:30 PM - Broth and salad. I save the ginger ale for “dessert.”

1:30 PM - I check my email and see that Facebook has sent me a $150 Amazon gift card for participating in a research study. Yes!

5:45 PM - I start prepping dinner before the game.

6:45 PM - Fries in the oven, we eat at half time.

8:30 PM - Cavs lose. Our house is very sad. My brain isn’t working very well from being sick, so we call it an early night. I’m asleep by 11:00 according to Fitbit.

DAY SEVENTY TOTAL: $1.76

DAY SEVENTY-ONE 

8:00 AM - I’m awakened by my boyfriend who is already dressed and out the door which is super weird for him. I shrug as I’m still a little pokey from NyQuil and sleep for another 45 minutes.

9:20 AM - “Late” for work. I’m still feeling super gross, but I pour myself a toddy and toast some bread which I accidentally burn. It doesn’t matter because I have no tastebuds.

2:00 PM - I am having a terrible day at work and I need nutrients. I get an Asian salad wrap from Chop Shop and a Cold Buster juice. $13.76

6:00 PM - Home from work. I am really exhausted and drained from the day. Boyfriend is not feeling well, but I push him out the door we go to AZ Mills. I buy a dress from the Levi’s store on clearance. $27

8:00 PM - We head back home. I’m not hungry from being upset from work and still stuffy.

10:00 PM - Pringles for dinner.

DAY SEVENTY-ONE: $40.76

DAY SEVENTY-TWO

7:45 AM - I am awake and anxious from last night 

8:45 AM - I arrive at work and I’m pulled into a meeting and before I know it, it’s 10.

10:15 AM - I get an unexpected text from my sister telling her she loves me and it lifts my spirits a little.

10:30 AM - I am finally starting to calm down, so I pour myself some toddy.

11:00 AM - I grab Fashion Square Food Court with colleagues. I end up getting a pizza from Fired Pie, but can only eat half. $9.17 

11:30 AM - I know I could use a little juice pick-me-up so I decide to try one of Jamba Juice’s concoctions. It’s not very good and I only finish half. $5.88 

2:00 PM - Our paychecks come. I deposit it into my checking account.

4:00 PM - I eat the rest of my pizza.

5:45 PM - I pull records for my set tomorrow at Valley Bar while boyfriend plays NHL on the X-BOX.

7:00 PM - We run to Phoenix to pick up some enamel pins I placed an order for. I’m starting an ecommerce freelance project soon, but I’m not including those expenses in here because they’re not personal.

8:45 PM - We order JJ for dinner. $21.80

10:30 PM - I’m exhausted from last night so I hit the hay. 

DAY SEVENTY-TWO TOTAL: $36.85

DAY SEVENTY-THREE

9:00 AM - I arrive at work and pour myself a toddy. I skip the toast because my appetite is still fucked.

11:00 AM - We all go to Noodles Ranch. I order a bowl of veggie pho. $10.64

4:00 PM - My face hurts so bad from my sinuses being clogged. I leave early to run home and take Allegra-D and Advil.

6:00 PM - My head finally starts to feel better. I put all my records in order for my set tonight and make sure I have enough tracks to cover 4.5 hours.

7:30 PM - I eat some chickpea salad for dinner.

8:00 PM - Off to Valley Bar! I load in and am ready to play by 9:00. There are a lot of friendly faces around tonight and I get compliments on my set. I know I still need to buy some more records to make it something I’m completely happy with, but overall I’m happy with it. I drink a few complimentary ciders throughout the night as well.

1:30 AM - Set is over! I pack up my stuff and get my check ($125) and head home.

2:00 AM - Bed.

DAY SEVENTY-THREE TOTAL: $10.64 

DAY SEVENTY-FOUR

8:30 AM - I am alive.

9:15 AM - Toddy. No toast today. We have a half day anyways and are going to eat lunch at 11:00, so what’s the point, really? I’m definitely super stuffy still, but am way better than I was yesterday.

9:30 AM - I deposit my check from last night into #NOTSIMPLE. I’m saving all the money I get from DJing for a new mixer. Only $1475 left to go.

11:30 AM - We all head out to Farm & Craft. I get a kombucha cocktail and some black bean tomato tofu thing. It’s so overpriced, but whatever, it’s Friday. $33.07

1:00 PM - Home. I am pretty exhausted and still super stuffy, so I lay down and watch 60 Days In until my boyfriend gets home from work.

3:00 PM - I get an email from #NOTSIMPLE saying they can’t deposit my check because it’s made out to my middle name. I contact support and start working on getting it squared away. Within the hour, they say I can redeposit it, but I left the check at work, so I’ll have to try again on Monday.

6:30 PM - Boyfriend is home. We watch a couple episodes of Cold Case Files and eventually drag ourselves out of the house.

8:30 PM - We go to Zia and I buy a used Kesha record and a Lost Balloons LP that came out today. I also see two new books from David Sedaris and Chuck Klosterman. I make a mental note to download these to my Kindle. $36.73

9:45 PM - We eat dinner at Red Robin. My Boca Burger is cold. Boyfriend pays.

10:30 PM - I am so exhausted. I fall asleep as soon as my head hits the pillow.

DAY SEVENTY-FOUR TOTAL: $69.80

DAY SEVENTY-FIVE

9:00 AM - A phone call from my sister wakes me up. We chat for about an hour and then I call my mom. Boyfriend wakes up around 10:45 and I cut my mom loose.

11:30 AM - We head to Cartel and Einstein’s. Boyfriend pays for both today.

12:30 PM - We try and figure out something fun to do today, but after going through all of our options, we eventually decide it’s way too hot (It’s already 105) and head home. We stop at CVS on the way so I can buy Allegra-D and some saline nasal spray. Damn, this shit is expensive. $35.44

2:30 PM - My boyfriend colleague is in Tempe and wants to grab lunch. We head to Haji Baba and all get falafels and hummus. I cover the tab for all of us and my boyfriend tips. $20.15 

4:00 PM - We binge watch some Cold Case Files before leaving the house again.

6:30 PM - We head to AZ Mills to play some arcade games at Tilt and to hit up the Nike Store. It’s very rare that I see shoes in my size that I actually like, but I spot a pair of Kobe’s that I can’t resist. They’re $100 at 20% off. $86.47

7:00 PM - Tilt is so great! I play a girl in Dance Dance Revolution who isn’t very good at all but we have a lot of fun. I show her some fun songs to play on light while I blast through them on standard and heavy mode. I used to be super good, but my stamina is terrible now that I am out of shape. Afterward, I am coughing uncontrollably and I feel like shit, so I just play pinball for the rest of the time. $21

8:15 PM - We head out and I grab a water from the vending machine. I carry a water bottle with me most of the time (especially during summer), but we both decide it would be an asshole move if I had them fill it up at the bar at Tilt. $2.25

8:30 PM - We stop at Walgreens on our way home and buy our friend a birthday card, some travel tissues, and a couple other goodies. Boyfriend pays.

9:30 PM - We arrive at The Whining Pig in downtown Phoenix for our friend’s party. I help myself to a blueberry sour on my boyfriend’s tab. It’s so yummy. I also find that birthday girl has saved me a vegan banana cupcake! I’m so stoked. I split it with another girl who seems to be super into nutrition. I laugh about how vegan food is still terrible for you (I mean we’re eating cupcakes), but she doesn’t seem to think it’s very funny. 

11:00 PM - We head to Cornish Pasty downtown and head to the basement. I order a New Belgium Kriek. At this point, I’m really not starting to feel well. I kind of regret drinking while sick, but because I went three months sober recently while dealing with UTI and vaginal issues, I kind of jump at every opportunity I get. At some point, boyfriend and I are both not feeling it, so we bounce. $9

12:30 PM - I eat a fig bar and we head to bed.

DAY SEVENTY-FIVE TOTAL: $174.31

DAY SEVENTY-SIX 

8:30 AM - I wake up coughing. Boyfriend suggests urgent care. At this point, I’ve been sick for 10 days and I know I’m dealing with a sinus infection. I agree.

10:30 AM - We grab coffee at Cartel and bagels at Einstein’s. I pick up the bagels. $7.56

11:00 AM - Off to urgent care. Not having insurance is lame. They prescribe me with Augmentin. I ask for a paper script so I can price match various places, but they accidentally call it into CVS. $170

11:30 AM - I show GoodRx coupon code to CVS folks and they run it through. I also grab some cough drops. Boyfriend pays because he feels bad for me. (He’s the one who got me sick after all.)

 3:30 PM - Fuck. I have a yeast infection. I google side affects of Augmentin and it’s on the first line of issues. I am eternally bummed. I text my sister (she’s a doctor) for support. She assures me that it won’t be like last time and that I’ll kick this super quick. I run back to CVS (I know we go there a lot and it’s really pricey but our closest grocery store is way further away.) and grab a Monistat 1. $24.85

5:00 PM - I am feeling terrible so I lay down and take a nap.

6:00 PM - Boyfriend wakes me up and says he wants to go back to the mall to play pinball. I am feeling better, so I join him. I still have money on my card from yesterday so it’s “free.”

8:15 PM - I am really hungry from not eating much today so I order Jimmy Johns. $10.12 

8:30 PM - We watch an episode of Cold Case Files and are in bed by 9:30.

DAY SEVENTY-SIX TOTAL: $212.53

[tavarillasgalen]

 So, yesterday was my 21st birthday.

I rode Bella and she was super. I actually used my tall boots for once, and it’s amazing the difference they make. I felt so secure and balanced; I actually felt like a good rider, and it helped that Bella was being good as well. Cantered without a fuss. I gave her some treats and a bath and then turned her out so she could enjoy the day.

I went to Jamba Juice and got a free smoothie. Then, I went down to Salt Lake bc I had planned to have a pregame at my apartment with some friends and then bar crawl with the ones who were over 21. I showered and cleaned the whole place and then did my makeup. My bf came over and he gave me a Polaroid camera! We cuddled and then we went to Trio to get dinner. I ordered my first legal drink - a glass of rose wine. I had some bomb pizza and he had pasta and then we went back to my place to wait for people to come. 

Half an hour past the time I’d told people to come, and no one had. Jaimie came soon after and so we talked with him for about an hour and a half. Neither he nor my bf were drinking, so I felt awkward, but I kept taking shots of Malibu anyway. I texted some people who said they’d come, and never heard back from them. One girl texted me at like 10 and asked if this was still going on, since she had nothing better to do.

Since it was a wednesday and it’s utah, bars closed at 1am, so the bf and I rolled out to Twist, where we met the girl who’d texted me and her roommate who actually had planned on coming. She lent me a 21st bday sash, the bouncer scanned our id’s and then we went in. Random people wished me a happy birthday and there was this group of three - two girls and one guy, who had obviously had a few drinks. They were so excited, telling me how awesome it was that I was going out on my actual birthday, saying how cute and pretty I was, and helping me with the bar. Asking what I liked and recommending drinks. When I wanted a picture, they were like “oh I’ll take it for you!!” They were so, so nice, it was lovely. I got a free drink from a guy at the bar and it tasted like candy, I was surprised. I’d never had an actual drink before, just the ones you mix yourself at frat parties, which aren’t too good. But that was really good. We went downstairs and I danced around a bit, then we went to Campfire Lounge, somewhere I’d been wanting to go since I’d first heard of it.

It was past midnight when we got there, so the kitchen was closed and we couldn’t make smores. But it was really cute, and all of the drinks had like camp names. I got one called “trail mix” with Bailey’s and raspberry liquor and other things. We went out and sat around the fire and talked until the bar closed. Then the bf and I went to McDonald’s and brought it back to my apartment to watch Netflix and then cuddle. 

[survey1000]

37.

01:tell me the truth, what made you start liking the person you like right now? His eyes 02:what on your body is hurting or bothering you? My head 03:what was your last thought before going to bed last night? Not too sure, probably thanking the Lord I didn’t need to go to work today lol 04:what are you listening to? Shake That - Eminem ft. Nate Dogg 05:what’s something you’re not looking forward to? Work on Monday 06:where do you think your best friend is right now? Not too sure who that is anymore ... 07:have you kissed anybody in the last five days? Nope, haven’t in the past 4 years 08:favorite song? Million Reasons - Lady Gaga 09:kiss on the first date? Probably not, depends on how long I’ve known the person and the feelings towards him 10:is there one person you want to be with right now? Yes and no 11:are you seriously happy with where you are in life? Not overly, if I could change a few things it would be nice 12:is there something you would like to say to someone? Way to much 13:what are three things you did today? Woke up, ate, and got changed 14:would you rather sleep at a friend’s or have them over? Depends because some of my friends live in the middle of nowhere so there’s not much to do, whereas I live in town where everything is haha 15:what is your favorite kind of gum? I don’t really chew gum anymore 16:are you friends with any of your ex boyfriends/ girlfriends? Nope 17:what is on your wrists right now? There’s a tattoo on my left one but that’s about it 18:ever liked someone you thought you didn’t stand a chance with? Every single crush I’ve had 19:does anyone have strong feelings for you? Probably not 20:are you slowly drifting away from someone? Feels like it 21:have you ever wasted your time on someone? Yep 22:can you do the alphabet in sign language? Nope  23:how have you felt today? 50/50 24:you receive $60 without any reason, what do you spend it on? Well right now I need to get my hair cut, so I’d spend some of it on that 25:what is wrong with you right now? Soooooo bored 26:is there anyone you’re really disappointed in? Not really 27:would you rather have starbucks or jamba juice right now? Neither, Tim Hortons all the way 28:why aren’t you in ‘love’ with your last ex anymore? Never was lol 29:how late did you stay up last night and why? A bit past midnight I think, and I was playing on my phone 30:when was the last time you talked to one of your best friends? Yesterday 31:what were you doing an hour ago? Sleeping haha 32:what are you looking forward to in the next month? Well on the 2nd I finally go to get my drivers ed papers signed, and then later that day I go for another tattoo appointment 33:are you wearing jeans right now? I can’t even remember the last time I wore jeans lol 34:are you a patient person? I can be lol 35:do you think you can last in a relationship for three months? I know I can, depends on the guy since I seem to go after the ones who don’t know what they want 36:favorite color? Purple 37:did you have a dream last night? Probably, I hardly ever remember my dreams

38:are you wearing jeans, shorts, sweatpants, or pajama pants? Yoga’s 39:if someone could be cuddling you right now, who would you want it to be? A nice guy would be nice lol 40:do you love anyone who is not related to you? Yeah 41:if someone liked you right now, would you want them to tell you? It’d be nice 42:do you like meeting new people? Not really lol I’m not much of a people person 43:are you afraid of falling in love? No, I’m afraid of rejection 44:ever self-harmed or starved yourself? Both 45:has anyone ever told you that you have pretty eyes? All the time 46:have you ever felt like you weren’t good enough? Everyday