#me and my dumb little projects
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taps mic. ahem.
help a student write a dumb rvb research paper? pretty please?? for funsies???
This is exactly what it sounds like.
My current final of the year for my language composition class is a massive synthesis + argumentative research paper on any topic of our choosing, and Roosterteeth + RVB has too much messy junk going on that I’m knee-deep invested in mentally at this point to pass up the opportunity to write about it.
And yknow, I see a ton of media analysis posts coming out of the fandom all the time and I’ve always loved seeing it and reading into it and sharing ideas and whatnot and this feels like my way of doing that too.
Essentially what I’m reaching out for is for you guys to help me crowdsource resources and share your ideas with me to include in my term paper*.
things that would be wizard cool of you to send me are:
any interviews or behind the scenes with the cast and creators you happen to know of
your own analysis or hot takes of the characters or the show as a whole
what the show has meant to you
any clips of old Roosterteeth expos
for the older fans, a rough idea of what the release timeline looked like for the episodes and what the buildup and fan reaction was for each one
any commentary or hot takes on how the fandom has changed since you joined/that you know of
what Roosterteeth did wrong (writing wise and irl)
what Roosterteeth did right (writing wise and irl)
tropes within the show you noticed whether originated by the show or not
tropes within the fandom, things like similar portrayals or bad/good takes on characters or face canons that span artists
literally anything you can give me, media, commentary, or opinion wise
(not to say I can’t find things on my own, I already have, but this is also about varying opinions and the general outlook of the fandom as a whole and measuring the broader impact of a show like RvB and it would be incredibly cool of you to help me out even with just crumbs of character opinions)
The idea is to get evidence together from clips, personal anecdotes, and opinions so I can present an accurate read on the fandom, especially when it comes to fan interpretation of RVB vs Roosterteeth’s intentions for the show (and behavior as a company) and explore what the show was supposed to be, what it literally is, how people see it, what its impact has been, and a general overview of the it’s legacy and lifespan, that sort of thing.
My thesis is most likely going to end up something in the ballpark of “How Roosterteeth exemplifies the Franchisation of Indie Media” or “Why RvB is one of the most complicated/misunderstood/divisive shows in modern media” or “How Fandoms interpret and recontextualize media”
I’m going to guess that I likely won’t be able to post the finished paper up online without a solid buffer window to avoid the two mortifying scenarios that are (a) being accused of creative plagiarism and (b) having to tell my instructor that the tumblr account with a 100% match to my course final is, in fact, my tumblr account, are two things I desperately want to avoid.
However if I can, simply for the sake of contributing to the fandom and creating something for us to all contribute to and discuss and crediting various peoples’ help and input would be ideal and, if at all possible, that would be the end goal.
so yeah. if you’re up for it I’d love for you to dm me your thoughts or (more conveniently for the both of us) fill out this Google form down here!
*im not gonna, like, repost your detailed character analysis as my own or something. I’m just trying to find some good quotes, general opinions, and ideas from the fandom so that I can accurately represent them and do our little corner of the internet Justice. And also because the audience of a work is a massive factor in media analysis lmfao. and also to create a community sourced Fun Thing™️ we can all look at and bite the corners off of instead of watching Roosterteeth crash and burn in the backgroun
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Could you explain your position on Shallura? Since Allura was established as a teenager when she started dating Lance and Shiro was very clearly an adult. I can understand the bi shiro headcannon but the shallura thing worries me
i am going to remind yall that i have been in this fandom since 2016. and in the early seasons, allura was not established as a teenager. in fact she was coded as older, as closer to shiro's age -- there was a specific divide between her and the younger paladins that she did not have with shiro. they made her younger (both explicitly and in mannerisms) as the show went on. and i do not give a fuck about voltron like...post s4 and i didn't even watch s7-8. so like. especially with older fics, im going to enjoy shallura.
#also this is less relevant and i was going to put it in the main post but i cant find the words for it#but i found your last sentence kind of condescending. “the shallura thing worries me” as if i am your little project and things arent going#to plan. as if you are the Knower Of All Things and i am straying from my path lol. twas odd#and this is a controversial thing to say i know it but like#we take fandom way too seriously. if someone decides in fic to make two characters the same age to ship them or whatever. do we really need#to get the torches and pitchforks. like i can understand discomfort when people ship like shiro and pidge or something but. also. i feel#like you can just block and move on?? like i dont ship sheith bc they are brothers. to me. but also i dont think sheithers should be#harassed or any dumb shit like that. i think its so so whatever like theyre Lines man theyre moving lines#at the same time i understand that peoples headcanons can be reflective of their worldviews (like when racism/transphobia/sexism shine#through someone's headcanons/characterization) but how much scrutiny is too much? when do we get to remember that fandom is a place to#work with the FICTIONAL? where you can change details without consequence? i saw a fic where keith was the older sibling and shiro was the#younger once. it was a good fic. how come we can play with ages but only when the Fandom Council approves?#i guess this is a really long and clumsy way to say like. you do not own the fandom nor do you get to dictate my work. and while there#is always room for necessary criticism please also think critically before you post your criticism#anyways#rant#ask
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Lemon
#carsaadi#art#my art#madness combat#oc#doodle#madness#combat#taika#madcom#madcom oc#madness combat oc#madness project nexus#madness combat project nexus#he eated.#a lemons.#hate this stupid critter/aff#FUCKING BEAST NEEDS TO EXPLODE#Gives me such awful cute aggression#GRHRHGEHRHG#dumb little side note#his hair shrinks too#in the second one#no one will notice this#smile
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Did you hear of the news?
I have. :(
Everyone else has their tributes so, here, a summary of my experience with Dragon Ball.
I was in fourth grade art class. A kid had the February 2005 issue of Shonen Jump, back when Shonen Jump was still physically printed here. I recognized Atem on the front cover because the Blockbuster around the corner from our house had DVDs (I think they were DVDs and not VHSs then since I distinctly remember it having a menu and special features) of some of the later episodes of Duelist Kingdom and my brother and I watched them on repeat. So I was like oh, hey, what's this? They make books of that stuff? I don't remember the conversation but the kid ended up giving me that issue, and I took it home with me.
There were a LOT of significant, groundwork things happening in that issue, now that I think about it. We were just beginning to see Sanji truly in action against Pearl. The Dark Tournament was in it's early stages still with Roto fucking around and finding out against Kurama. Sakura shears off her hair in a move that rearranged sexualities the world over. The reason Atem was on the cover was because Yu-Gi-Oh Millennium World was just debuting its first and second chapter. Bleach wasn't even serialized yet. And Dragon Ball, of course, was also there, about a hundred and fifty chapters ahead of everybody else.
Keep in mind that this was my first experience with manga, period. So my very first experience with Dragon Ball opened on this:
and ended on this:
Yeah. Truth be told, at the time Yu Yu Hakusho piqued my interest more than Dragon Ball (a guy fighting with plants? how creative!) but I never did forget these chapters. I thought the art style was so different from the others.
At some point after this, probably between several months and a year and a half, the TV happened to be on one evening when Toonami was airing Dragon Ball Z. Oh hey, I said, I recognize that art, I know those characters. So I hung around and watched some of episode 281. Two things about watching that episode stick with absolute crystal clarity in my mind to this day. Firstly: Buu choking Vegeta out with his arm freaked me the FUCK out as a child. I could not tell you why I had a fear reaction to it but hey, there you go. The second is this:
Specifically I remember 'You died once. If anything happens to you now, you won't exist anymore. There'll be nothing I can do to bring you back.' Not precisely word for word over the years, but Schemmel's tone of voice on this particular lineread. If I had to guess I'd say it was because at that point in my life, uh, death was kinda permanent? So wait, what do you mean died ONCE. Doesn't that apply to everyone?
This still wasn't enough to get me super invested in it though, it just didn't seem like something that would appeal to me that much. So a couple years go by, I don't think about it all that much, and then of course, TFS hits the scene and drops DBZ Abridged. So you know. As a shithead middle schooler with a shithead sense of humor I thought it was the best damn thing since sliced bread. (My biggest character flaw is that I still think a lot of Season 1 is genuinely funny)
And that was really the extent of my interaction with the franchise for the next several years. Say what you will about DBZA but they did manage to put it all together such that someone who had a nonexistent concept of what the original context was could grok it with not a lot of effort. Some time in high school, I think I was around 15, I decided to bite the bullet and read all the manga, as much to increase the funny factor of DBZA as sheerly for the sake of being able to say I had. Stick it to the other weebs, y'know. Now they can't say I didn't know anything about good anime. This was unfortunately at a time when all that was available online were dirty poor-quality scans and questionable translations, but read it I did. I went 'yep, that sure is about what I expected', and proceeded to get on with my life. GT came and went, I looked up and saw Battle of Gods coming out and went 'oh hey that's still a thing huh', kinda was peripherally aware of all the divisiveness of Super as it was happening, didn't really pay it much attention, just stuck to DBZA and quite a lot of wiki-ing.
And then, this time of year about three years ago now, in the middle of conversation with @prophecydungeon, Dragon Ball somehow came up. Something to do with 'Even though I'm not hugely into DBZ's story or whatever Toriyama does have some great character designs' (yes I was referring to Vegeta and Future Trunks at the time, no i will not stop being predictable, yes i am a parody of myself). They eventually brought up the DBS Broly movie and said, and i quote: 'that was a solid 1.5h of unbelievably fun and wacky animation'. Having seen the Gogeta vs Broly part of it on twitter and been like 'damn that animation's kinda off the hook actually, good for them good for them', my response was to be like. Oh word? I've got a spare hour and a half to kill, sure, fuck it, why not, time to watch DBS Broly.
I think that movie was precision crafted to hit me in the hyperfixation, if we're being honest. Opening on a solid 20 minutes of Lore and Worldbuilding and then having most of the rest of the runtime being mindless slobberknocker fun by way of some of the hardest animation flexes ever? I was done for.
In summation. I have been aware of Dragon Ball for a lot of my life, in that its presence was pervasive and enduring as I grew up. I may have been late to the game of actually wholeheartedly enjoying it, but enjoy it I do. Dragon Ball is the roots of a vast tree of anime, and in reading it I began to understand why that is. I respect it for that, and I love it for that. My current fixation may have shifted, but as far as time devoted to one individual thing goes... it took me a year and a half to watch my way through all of the anime and read all of the manga. ALL of it. So there's something good in there, I'd say.
#rip to a legend#text from the mod#tangentially related: i am not actually dead#it's just that between school and my job and the pirate brainrot#(the previous four months of which was feverishly consumed with a 16k word project)#i have had neither time nor impetus to make dragon ball funnies#there is also the fact that my stupid autism brain is still fuming over the website changes#that have fucked up the Aesthetique of the text posts and made them much more annoying to get in a usable form#thus adding steps to what was a simple and comfortable process#and aforementioned idiot dumb brain has not stopped pitching a bitch fit over the inconvenience.#i know it's a stupid hangup. believe me i am fully aware. but there is so little i can do about it#so i am sorry about my long absence. i really truly am.#especially to the asks that have been chillin in my inbox for all this time now#it's just that they're interesting questions that deserve me giving 100% of my brainpower to them ya feel#i want to devote appropriate attention to these little funnies and not phone it in or half ass it LOL
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Trying out this whole "animation" thing, it's kind of a small niche community though so idk
#bandit's doodles#no fandom tags today#It's all me baby#That's what I'm talkin about!!#who needs fanart (me) when you can have critter#but honestly self love is important so I'll say this is fanart for myself#Be careful I might get all parasocial with myself#Stupid joke I'm sorry#i was just imagining the whole time I was doing this#what if you saw him climb through your window and then pull this#Honestly I think I'd flick him out and see if he bounces on the ground#Spoiler he does#Cartoon logic and whatnot#Squashed by an anvil and gets a big bump on his head and that's it#thats why he's on a windowsill btw#This was my first time doing proper animation#Ive done little animatics before that I just keep to myself#But never like#Frame by frame animating#so if this is stupid that's why lmao#i like it though#Making my little sona look stupid and dumb is my favorite thing#Good for releasing my pent up idiocy#Project that shit onto the funny doodle cat yeah#anyways new wonderlust ep today (it's midnight on Saturday rn)#so probably expect something that related soon knowing me#dude looking at these tag walls make me realize#If I talked to people I'd be the most heinous double texter known to mankind#a force to be reckoned with#I had another tag but I ran out of tag space so this is goodbye for now I suppose lmao
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(tags from @neathyingenue @zeebreezin)
hang on have I not mentioned this enough- Hi! Yes! Vincent is Catalan, from Barcelona! I usually talk about them as being/using Spanish but that's honestly just because I know that's what most people would recognise/understand, compared to how relatively niche Catalan is unfortunately. A lot of the time it's more important in the moment to connect somewhat even if it's not entirely accurate "^^ (and they do use Spanish, it's just their second language instead).
Being Catalan specifically is a key part of Vin as a character because, well... I'm projecting, honestly! I live in Barcelona! I may be British, but I've lived here for most of my life now and it's an equally important part of me as a person. Writing about Vin is an excuse to write about the experience of immigrating (though admittedly in reverse of my own) as well as Catalan language, culture, politics, history...
One day I'll sit down and write out some of this stuff and approximately nobody will know the cultural/historical context <3
#putting this on a separate post bcus its unrelated to that one + i wanted to ramble a lil#yknow i should of expected the catalan to be pointed out by a. the one other person who speaks spanish and b. the linguistics nerd aksjdgf#love you both xD <3#but yes vin is me projecting/exploring my own life <3#its just that the average person knows. so little about catalan language/culture (<- lives in barcelona tourist center. its so bad)#tourism pays for a lot of stuff here but christ are a lot of them dumb as rocks#(no shade to anyone here tho genuinely. im just salty about irl stuff pff)#also re: that last paragraph. id also have to fight my own brain a bit tbh#vins thoughts on many things being directly influenced by their experience w/ and hatred of spain vs-#-vs me not wanted to be White British Guy Talks About Racism yknow#and also spains intra-country disputes vs everything spain did outside of the country#gah. idk. anxiety yippeee#this post is messy but it needs Out i cant keep messing with it#oc: vincent bell
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I’m finding that the laziest moments of Doctor Who’s writing are the ‘retroactive twists’ - when the show runner reveals something happened way back over there, in the past, before they were even running the show. And we swear it happened, way over there, far back, and you didn’t see it because of reasons but it’s definitely been happening! And it totally makes sense and I absolutely didn’t just pull it out my ass to justify my paper thin plotline! All this kind of writing does is make me miss self contained season length plots. We’ve had people complaining that Moffat was guilty of the “this thing is big and scary and it’s going to happen, oh god it’s showing up, we’re going to discover what it truly is….. next season!!!!!!” plotline (and yes. he was. twelve is my fav doctor but yeah Moffat loved a mysterious horse and a big stick) but now suddenly when RTD gets out his own mysterious horse and a big stick, it’s got to be genius! everything is eventually going to make sense! and we’re absolutely not being had by a man who used to be able to write this show and is now a hack!
#FUCK OFF RUSSELL#write a good show or go home christ alive#it’s just nostalgia glasses. we could get an episode where all 10 does is sit in a daybed and list the symptoms of shingles#and a lot of people on this website would be falling over themselves to try say that yeah it’s not good! it’s not well written! but it’s fun#and obviously that’s all doctor who needs to be. fun! not good or interesting or well written or good scifi but fun. just mediocre mush fun.#im sorry that you love dave 10nant so much (name censor bc tbf this ain’t his fault he’s just here)#that you cannot handle admitting that RTD is bad at his job now or that bringing 10 back as 14 was a shit idea#and that plotline was boring and kinda dumb#but it’s true. it’s gone downhill. RTD does not know what this show is anymore#and I frankly think he’s gone from a fanboy being able to write his dw dreams and make them episodes#from a man who views this show as his little pet project that sprung him into success#the best episodes are written by people who love this show. adore it. think of it as something big and grand#and are so thrilled that they get to add part of themselves to it with their stories and words#it’s why he used to be good. and now he doesn’t really care anymore and it shows.#it’s why my favourite doctor is my favourite doctor (and probably why people adore 9 + 10)#because you can feel the love exuding from every performance. it’s a childhood dream. there’s not time to waste a second of it.#sorry but this season was bad and the overarching story was bad#and the Christmas special is going to be bad. because it hinges on the idea we’re going to ‘find out more next time!’#shut up and tell me now. or at least in the season. ‘ooh ruby’s snow power will be explained next season’ NO! EXPLAIN IT NOW#doctor who#dw#dw negativity#rtd2 era#rtd2#rtd
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What they don't tell you about sewing is how much darn ironing it takes.
And don't get me started on owning cats and trying a new hobby.
Why did I decide mending my topsheet was necessary a week before moving?
I'm, like, nearly done but _geez_
#sewing#ironing#small sewing project#oh hehehaha im gonna fix my frayed top sheet#quick and easy project it is not#a week out until i get my little sewing table for my machine and until then im hunched over on the floor like a little goblin swearing#pedal is too short to put the dumb machine on the kitchen table#ugh sewing#i know its gonna be worth it for a job well done but my back is NOT thanking me#mending#mending bed topsheet
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Transmasc Fluttershy my beloved <3
#projecting onto a fictional character who?#not me#trans#transgender#transmasc#mspec#maybe a demi boy flutter?#demiboy#mlp#my little pony#my little pony fim#mlp friendship is magic#fluttershy#mlp fluttershy#transmasc fluttershy#I have let the transmasc infect me and now it will infect you too#transmasc flutter ftw#also whenever I see “ftw” my first thought is not “for the win” but is in fact “female to w- oh right 'for the win' yeah.“#just like acab being “assigned c- oh mhm yup 'all cops are bad' yeah” I'm very dumb
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Hello Zoe, your mirobotter fic was a paradigm shift and a work of genius!! I haven't stopped thinking about it all weekend!! In it you mentioned that there was an article about the 2017 draft class talking about each other -- is this a real thing we can behold with our own hands and eyes?
i would've sworn i was referencing Very Real Things but i tried hunting around for articles with at least a quote from each of them talking about each other and apparently! there are none!! i would have bet actual money that there was at least ONE article like this written by mike heika and posted to nhl dot com forward slash stars, and yet.
the closest i found, as far as official articles where they're kind of talking about each other, is this one from this past october where all three of them are more just talking about The Team and Doing What It Takes To Win. this one from when otter & robo were about to start their first pro season with the texas stars (and miro was already more established) focuses more on otter & robo and sees them talking a little bit about the draft class.
' “I like to call myself a top forward prospect, Miro is one of the best defensemen in the league already, so that obviously panned out. And then they got a top goalie prospect,” Robertson said. “I think it was a pretty succesful draft that year. In the next couple years, I want to be able to have it where people mention how that draft changed the franchise.” “I think we want to make our mark on the Stars and maybe be remembered as one of the better drafts the Stars have had in a while,” Oettinger added. “It would be cool to have me and (Robertson) both make the team at some point soon and be representing that draft class and having people look back and say, ‘Wow, that was a great draft for the Stars.'” '
which is cool!! but there's no miro there, he is simply haunting the narrative for jake & jason as the ghost of hockey future. and then every article about the 2017 draft class is more just .......... people from the front office and/or various coaches talking about them, rather than them talking about themselves. the thing is, i know they've all talked about their draft class — even miro!! but those quotes must just be confined to media availabilities, or other random solo interviews.
this is going to eat away at me now so i will. probably. chip away at hunting down quotes they've given on each other and compiling them somewhere, if only so i can have it as a reference point!
& in the meantime i'd like to issue a formal apology for gaslighting both myself & you into believing there was a '2017 draftees on 2017 draftees' article out there
#replies#jason robertson#jake oettinger#miro heiskanen#like look i love a dumb little project#but honestly i can't believe that it's kind of my only option???#why has no one made them talk about each other all at once!!#& then put whatever was said down in an article on espn or the athletic or whatever. For Me.#from a quick cursory search there's also so much more from jake & jason talking about each other and/or miro. + a little of miro on jason#i Am Sure miro's talked about jake before i just literally can't find it anywhere. where is the inherent goalie/dman bond when you need it!#also !!!!! i am so so glad you enjoyed the fic#this research will surely only give me more brainworms about how the three of them Fit Together
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You know what? I'm gonna say it. I'm vouching for Montana to join the huge honkers club.
#look.#he's the 4th biggest state with rly high elevation and a lot of. erm. Land Mass. iykwim.#I'm obsessed with the homophobic homosexual slur sayers group chat lately. by that i mean wyoming idaho montana#TO ME THEY ARE FRIENDS.#hunting. fishing bros. they r huge DUMB farm dogs who beat tf out of each other playfully like they'll throw down. wrestle in the dirt#montana wins 👎👎👎👎👎 usually. unless its 2v1#oregon meanwhile a little further west like. Exhausted by this. his husband and his homophobic jock friends. they will not stop fighting.#they are in public. if he takes them to yhe shore they will try to drown each other. wyoming almost full ass dies#OMFG WAIT NAW FR I MET??? SOMEONE FROM WYOMING TODAY FOR THE FIRST TIME EVER.#YALL ARE REAL???? YALL ARE REAL!!!!!#they were..... wearing a FANTASTIC amount of minions merchandise. which to me only confirms that wyoming is in a time bubble#causing it to perpetually exist 10 years in the past#i fully said omg never met someone from wyoming before!!!!! and they said lmfao well there isnt rly that many to meet tbh. like.#YAS. rocking that least populated state title#to me that means he has SEVERE empty head syndrome. dissociative disorder 🫵 maladaptive daydreaming 🫵 im projecting.#its not a problem for him tho he's got a huge ass fantasy world he's been cultivating in his head since the 1800s. this bitch loves books.#and when i say bitch i mean BITCH. victoria my dear beloved darling made a post about it but WOW. he is a CUNT.#the west is full of mean girls !!!!#disgusting of them#lune talks#lune talks even more in the tags 😐#i cant keep DOING THIS.#wttt#wttsh#ben brainard#welcome to the statehouse#welcome to the table#REMINDER THIS POST WAS ORIGINALLY ABOUT MONTANA'S HUGE FUCKING TITS. REMEMBER THAT REMEMBER. OKAY? GOOD#wttt montana#i hereby deem alaska mass montana texas. the huge knockers club.
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Witchy talk:
Being a left-hand path witch doesn't mean I'm incapable or unwilling to help others, including strangers. I will bless those who helped me with eternal gratitude so all their future endeavors will be smoother.
#personal#witchy things#even though I'm kinda low energy with so much Astral projecting to have my body heal faster without me suffering i can do this small thing#plus doing good energy spells are good for mental and physical health#i spend more time using up my energy in not-so-nice things and that may have made me sick#gonna also meditate and “leave” for a little longer to continue getting rid of this rash that no longer itches#I'm not completely healed from this reaction but i did some energy work and have more stamina to do my exercises and even some house work#I'm being soft lately but if you fuck with me I'll funnel my cancer on your ass so I'd heal faster#tired of low energy do-gooders trying to bind me as if i haven't done this shit for more 30 years. im turning 44 on the 26th#i aint a beginner despite all the youth glamours i use to knock decades off my appearance#just added that on cos some stupid ass try to do a love and light binding after i admitted my path#bitch i don't bite your weak bitches unless you either spy or pull dumb shit on me every light witch that is a friend of mine knows this#i will defend and protect those that show me respect and kindness
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[pained wailing emoji]
#.pdf#rd#THE REST OF THIS IS JSUT ME WHINING. FEEL FREE TO IGNORE#i dont wanna go to work ‼️‼️‼️ i feel like i am nearing a breaking point i am sofucking burnt out#every time i go to work. my brain gets Scary at me. stresses me out. dont like it ☹️#im supposedto be going in tonigjt but im dreading it sososo much#my work hour options have changed from “fully flexible” to “7am-9pm only” whcih yeah i know that doesnt sound that bad. but i have non-24#(circadian rhythm disorder that makes me sleep progressively later every day circling fully around the clock over ~3 weeks or so)#and bcos of it often i have to force myself out of bed in what my body thinks may as well be the middle of the night just to get to work#and then i dont ever get enough time to recover from that to actually let my sleep fall back into its natural schedule wjich is the only#time i feel properly rested. so essentially im chronically sleep deprived which is making me chronically stressed and way less productive#i just reslly really want to fucking save up a little money and just Not work for a week or two. bjt. with my sleep bullshit i cant really#work enough to be able to put anything aside. at all#so. kind of an unrealistic desire i guess. lol#ive been feeling like this ever since like early january when i was told i ahve to stick to a more normal schedule. & its only getting worse#idont know i just wishthere was something i could do that was fully flexible on timing but also doesnt havw the kind of workload that would-#-stress me out like basically anything with longer-term projects so ykmow Most flexible schedule jobs.#i do have one thing in mind i could do on my own but its dumb and probably wouldnt make much money and has startup costs i cant afford rn..
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Merry christmas/ happy holidays!!!
@p-riama @girlwiththepapatattoo
(Modern KenUno kiss methinks? Pretend there’s mistletoe above their heads 🙂)
#KenUno#unoken#kenhana#KenUno smut is good - but KenUno FLUFF?????? GIVE#just realized she’s kissing his scar AAAAAAAAAH#it’s 1 am here I’m half dead lmaoo#also I haven’t said this before but yes I draw Unohana with a little bit of toned muscle cause - she works out? so duh?#big tall scary husband cuddling his tiny wife???? and me projecting on the wife cause I want that too? wow#me🤝Unohana : liking big tall dumb ass men who don’t like to wear upper body clothing#please ignore these tags I’m having a moment AAKEJSS#(I’m also extra annoying cause I’m seeing my boyfriend today I miss him sm)#bleach#bleach tybw#Kenpachi Zaraki#retsu unohana
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There is this part of me that wants to wallow in self-pity, that wants to believe I'm doomed forever and that there is nothing good waiting for me. But the funny thing is, it's not true. I am better than I used to be. I am healthier than I used to be. It's just tiring to always try to be better. And while it is a possibility that the doom part of me will turn out to be true, there is a possibility that it won't.
#like yeah im a little bit dead. yea im a little bit pathetic. yeah im an adult living with my mom and maybe there really is something wrong#with me regarding the fact that ive never had any romantic/sexual relationships#and maybe it is pathetic how i hide all my silly creative projects from everyone but the strangers on the internet#and maybe its miserable that im posting things like these here#but fuck it#im not 14 anymore. no one is abusing me at home. i have some interest in what im doing. i have an okay job.#im studying what im interested in. im no longer having episodes of panic where i had to lie in bed to calm down.#havent had a panic attack in crowds for years#i think im no longer weird with men. like i used to be afraid? but not like really. i just avoided them like a plague#and was weird when i had to interact with them#now its gone#i have a car!! i can leave whenever i want to !!!!#i earn enough to travel!!! no further than europe but still#and im not exactly dumb! i have a masters degree! with honors#when i was in highschool i never imagined that i would like to travel or have another degree and then another!#i never imagined that i would be okay working together with people. that i would be fine being in their company and cracking jokes with them#overall im most definetely a mess but a much lesser mess than i used to be.
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adhd curse and blessing is that i am a really good beginner in practically anything and only get shit as i progress, but this leads to me excelling in things i try out and then seeing an entire new life trajectory in front of me where i start a whole business about the thing i am good at trying out only to realize a lifetime of it would bore the hell out of me and abandoning it just as quick, but by then i will have read several articles and blogs on it, bc hyperfixation, and then when i go back to my regular current life i do it with a new lil outlook on life.
#made a cold drink that was super yummy and imagined a whole lemonade shop with customized catering services#aka you have an event and need lemonade? i'll make up an entire new drink for your event and prelare and serve it to you at that event#etc#me looking up truck prices and ice cube makers#that's the shit i mean#i will not do it I know i will not do it the truck i am looking up knows i wont do it#but by next week i will have a handful of new insights and will make statements that will be perceived as oddly observant#yeah bc i observed the shit out of the lemonade business for two days before i had to get back to my regular shit#i was a local lemonade kingpin within the span of five years in my little mental getaway#and now i am back to writing project reports whats new#dumb stuff#personal#adhd
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