#me actually playing: NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE
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scribblesandink · 10 hours ago
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Her lungs had cleared and she was full of energy, giggling and trying to get as much attention as possible
.
The women exchanged a confused look
"You're.... A musician who doesn't like being recognized? "
"Ironic, I know. If you really want to, I can't stop you. You've probably heard at least one of my songs at some point, a few of them got extremely popular. My last name is Olympic"
"Cocky, are we? "
She quickly googled him and her eyes got huge, face going blank
"You.... We're kidding. Holy shit"
"Nope"
"Damn. And you're just..... In a public gym? In the middle of the night? "
"I'm on tour and the show got out late"
"My son is actually a huge fan of yours" One of them looked away from the phone "He plays Take Me To Church all the time. No idea why, we're not religious"
Apollo shrugged
"The song is just a general vibe of feeling like you were born wrong in the body or life you were given. The references to religion was.... Just a metaphor. And while some people resonate with that, not everyone does. And that's ok"
"Huh. That makes sense I guess"
"Also, I'd appreciate if none of you would make it public where we are, since I usually come here after shows when I'm on tour and would rather not be crowded at 2 in the morning"
"Not a problem"
Do you think covid existed in the Season? Do you think that for 2020-2021 Zeus couldn't host two Seasons. He had to wait until 2022 when restrictions finally lifted?
I'm gonna assume that covid didn't exist for my own sanity
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wannaeatramyeon · 1 day ago
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Goo Kim x Reader: Phone Call
G/N. Silly. Fluffy. Masterlists
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"How's my favourite person doing!" Goo chirps down the phone.
"Fine."
A pause. "Aren't you going to ask how your favourite person is doing?"
"No. I don't have one."
A beat, a blink.
"Your favourite person is me, right?"
"Nope."
"No?"
"Nope." You repeat, matter of fact and popping the 'p'.
Goo pulls a face. It's not that he particularly cared who your favourite person was before, but now that you've spelt it out clearly that it isn't him - he discovers that he cares a whole damn lot.
"Sweetheart," he begins and he knows this is embarrassing to ask,  "it's definitely not Gun... Right?"
"Gun?" He can hear the smile in your voice, "I mean, I think Gun is pretty nice."
"Nice?!" Goo's voice has already risen by a couple dozen decibels and he is this close to shrieking. He can't tell whether you're being serious or not. Who in their right mind would describe Gun as nice.
"Is that pretty head of yours just for decoration?" He asks, sour and incredulous at your response and you chuckle down the phone.
"I think he's nice."
Goo imagines you shrugging as you answer. Nonchalant and casual, probably doing something else like keeping one eye on a shitty kdrama playing because this conversation is silly to you yet your playful taunts and teases make him feel like punching someone.
Someone whose name starts with Gun and ends with Park.
"Cupcake," Goo figuratively and literally swallows his pride. He grits out his next words. "You like me more than him, right? I rank much higher on your list of favourite people than him, right?"
You hum a response. Neither a yes or a no and Goo wants to tear his beautiful, perfectly styled blonde hair out.
"Maybe." A crunch.
And it becomes apparent that Goo really is correct. You're munching on some potato chips, something you like to snack on as you watch your favourite dramas. Your concentration split between some trash on the screen and this conversation which actually matters. It's of utmost importance. A matter of life and death.
Goo feels a tantrum coming on.
"Ok," you admit with another crunch, "I guess I do like you better."
And just like that, Goo's bitterness and annoyance completely evaporates. It's replaced with insufferable smugness and a surge of affection for you.
"Thought so," he smirks, ignoring the relief that floods his entire being and the blood that rushes to his cheeks.
You snort down the phone and deadpan, "Did you now."
"Of course. Never doubted your good taste."
"Sure. Now why did you call me?"
"I-" Goo starts and his mind blanks. He had completely forgotten.
A pause, a crunch.
"Call me back when you remember," you say, hanging up the phone, cutting off Goo's whines and protests as you shove more chips into your mouth.
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nativegirltapes · 2 days ago
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hii ! i’m literally obsessed with angel and drew so i made a list of songs i think fit them :)
angel’s songs (imo)
- push 2 start by tyla
- she by harry styles
- real woman by partynextdoor
- six feet under by the weeknd
- good graces by sabrina carpenter
- bordersz by zayn
drew’s songs (imo again)
- kitchen by kid cudi
- velvet light by jakob (this is actually on his playlist)
- how deep is your love by bee gees
- prisoner by the weeknd & lana del rey (a song he would play with angel maybe!!)
- luther by kendrick lamar & sza
- company by justin bieber
idk if this is accurate i was just bored lol i love ur writing sm never stop plz 💓
omg what i love this !!!!!!! I AGREE with literally like all of these. real woman and six feet under are sooo angel 😫😫 like she really just about money, shopping, being boujee, and pleasing her man lowk …. likeeeee angel i love you ….
LUTHER ???? that’s so drew hello???? i looked up the lyrics cuz im unfortunately not familiar with that song (i don’t really listen to kendrick) AND HELLLLLOOOO yea dats angels mannn 🎀. & “company” reminds me of like the beginning of angel and drew, where they’re kind of just messing around bc drew couldn’t dare be seen with someone so young ……………… but nope ! she bags that old cookie 🍪
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days-until-burnout · 3 days ago
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Brian and Impulse playing Minecraft with each other but can't focus on the game because GAY 💅
📧 Day 112 -
Characters - Impulse/Grian ft. Joel, Jimmy, and background Words - 706 Time - 45 mins Content - Modern AU
impulseSV joined the game
Grian stares at the chat, hands frozen, hovering over his keyboard and mouse. The voices coming from his headphones become white noise, his vision tunneling to the words; more specifically, the name.
<Smallishbeans> o/ <impulseSV> o/ <SolidarityGaming> hi :D <SolidarityGaming> do you need us to find you? <Tango> nope! <Tango> he’s ours! <Etho> yep yep <Smallishbeans> i am going to kick you out! <Etho> can you not ^_^ <Smallishbeans> >:p
Grian watches the messages fill up the corner of his screen, suddenly having an out of body experience. Then his heart is pounding, then his ears are ringing with the laughter of Joel and Jimmy, and his hands begin to shake where they are. He goes lightheaded when he stops breathing.
“G, you’ve gone quiet,” Jimmy laughs, too giddy to be mocking. 
Joel, on the other hand, cackles maliciously; that is Grian’s answer to why this is happening. Still, Grian has never wanted to strangle him more than when he speaks again. 
“Come on, Grian. Let’s go say hi. I need to kill Etho too.”
Jimmy laughs. 
Skizzleman blew up by creeper <GeminiTay> SKIZZ!!!! <Smallishbeans> lol <GeminiTay> don’t laugh!!! <Skizzleman> stupid creeper!!! <Smallishbeans> do you have your spawn <Smallishbeans> nvm <Smallishbeans> walk <GeminiTay> rude <Etho> rude <Etho> jinx <GeminiTay> shut up etho!!!
Grian blinks, startled, when his screen flashes. He finds himself in the middle of the forest, Joel and Jimmy walking circles around him, still laughing right into his head. Jimmy crouches in front of him, and other times, he would have punched him out of the way, but he is still frozen on the spot. In response, Joel punches him along, whining about him not moving. 
He stutters, the bare minimum sound making both of them shut up, “Wh– Why… When? How…? Why?”
“Well,” Joel starts, giggling. Grian sees Joel’s character running ahead, his own jumping to him in flashes. “I invited Etho way back when, because you know. And then Tango, because I felt bad because Etho is a nerd. And then Gem, so we can kill Etho twice as effectively. Then—”
“You wanted to spend time with him,” Jimmy cuts in, punching Joel to shut him up. He screeches when Joel gets his axe, critting him once. “Stop! Joel, stop! I’m almost dead! Joel—So we– So Joel brought him over!”
“Say sorry,” Joel demands, critting Jimmy again with his fist. 
“Get away!” 
Grian cringes when Jimmy starts screaming, not even getting relief when he runs away. Joel chases, of course, but their voices stay on his ears. 
His screen flashes a couple more times, until they find an opening. 
<Smallishbeans> eefo <Smallishbean> where are you <Etho> don’t :< <Smallishbeans> community service! Etho was doomed to fall TangoTek was doomed to fall SolidarityGaming was doomed to fall <Smallishbeans> where are you gem Skizzleman was doomed to fall <Smallishbeans> hi gem :D <GeminiTay> hi :D
Gem appears on screen for a brief moment, then she vanishes. Joel follows after, and Grian’s vision blurs where he stands. He drags his hands from his table, just staring at the screen until a figure sneaks into his field of vision. 
impulseSV whispers to you: hi grian :) 
This cannot be happening. 
He stares, then stares some more as Impulse's character sneaks closer, that simple face getting closer and closer until it nearly fills his screen. Very relevant, actually, because Impulse very much takes up plenty of space in his head. 
impulseSV whispers to you: are you okay? impulseSV whispers to you: can you show me around? if you are not doing anything, but if you are, can we schedule for another time? :) Smallishbeans whispers to you: you are such a loser GeminiTay whispers to you: don’t just stand there!!!
He can still hear Joel’s cackles, and he can visually see Gem shaking her head. In between deaths and teleporting, Jimmy and Joel must have jumped to another voice channel. Though he cannot tab out to check, he does not need the confirmation either way; so he focuses on what is in front of him. 
With shaky hands, he finally manages a message.
You whispers to impulseSV: i have time now 
And his heart nearly leaps out of his chest. 
impulseSV whispers to you: thank you :)
_____
fgyfsyghua i was going to write more, but i spent half a day laying down staring at the ceiling. so now, just going for something safe, aka a request
[click for a random day]
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slimybeth69 · 1 day ago
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Que Será, Será: Part 6
Rating: Explicit- Smut, violence, drinking/drug use. MDNI!! Summary: It's almost twenty years after some weird outbreak almost happened but the CDC took care of that...Now you're living in Austin, Texas as an adult.What happens when you meet Joel Miller who hasn't been hardened and ruined by twenty years of murder and loss?
Warnings/Tags: DaddyDom!Joel/ you. no use of y/n. No physical description of the reader besides one tattoo. Reader has a background story. Drinking/drug use. Slow burn. Smut. Angst. Cheating. Graphic depictions of violence. Eventual loss of virginity. Use of nicknames/pet names (lil girl, baby girl.) DD/lg dynamics. BDSM play. Unbeta'ed. WIP. Cross-posting from my Ao3. chapter warnings/ tags: embarrassing situations, porn, thigh fucking, teasing, Joel snoring.
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“Hey! I’m so fuckin’ sorry! Jeeeeesus, I feel like such an asshole.” Joel is speaking fast and with apologies all tethered to his words. “I’m real sorry. I left my phone n’ keys in my brothers truck after he dropped me off from the bar last night. Feel like a dick. Didn’t get my shit back ‘till just now when he dropped ‘em off t’me.” Joel sighs loudly. “I’m sorry. Hope yer’ not mad at me.” He sounds fretful. Worried.
“No. Not at all. I get it. Shit like that happens.” That does come out of you very casually. 
“I got worried as hell when you didn’t text or call. Nothin’. I thought fer’ sure you were gonna think the worst, block my number. Never talk t’me again.” Joel chuckles nervously. 
“Nah. I was hanging out–”
“Readin’ yer’ spooky stories?” Joel asks before you can finish and now… you might be in love with him. Fuck. 
“Yeah… I was actually.” You smirk against the phone like an idiot. 
“You wanna… come read ‘em here? I just watch football on Sunday… but, I wouldn’t be mad if you wanted to just come, I dunno, sit in my lap and hang out. Could smoke, drink a lil.” Joel speaks quietly and almost bashfully. You dunno.
You’ve done worse things in your life behind the wheel of a car, okay? You’re not even drunk. Not even a little. Nope. Feel bad for driving under the influence? Absolutely. But, you’re fine. You took your time packing your lil spend the night bag with your stuff for work tomorrow because he said you should stay the night. Okay. You’re calm and cool. Not overly excited. You brought your laptop so you could comfortably read your ‘spooky stories’ aka real life murders that have taken place. Joel is so cute. Fuck.
When you get to Joel’s house it’s almost two in the afternoon. You guys still have most of the day to spend together and hang out before you have to really go to bed. No more all nighters. Neither of you were children. He’s sitting on his front porch in one of those nice wooden rocking chairs. He has two of them. They’re big and sturdy and look kinda cozy, actually. He is at your door, opening it for you before the truck is even off. He doesn’t let you get out, he runs his hands along your thighs as you turn to face him in an attempt to jump down. 
“Sorry.” Joel smiles up at you apologetically and continues moving his hands up and down your legs softly. 
“Should be.” You tease him but lean in and give him a small, fast kiss. He hums happily in response and holds his hand out. You go to put your hand in his but he pulls it away with a sucking noise on his teeth. You pinch your brows together at him and he holds his hand out again, saying nothing. You look and he wants the two bags you have in your hand. 
“Lemme carry ‘em.” He says after a second you you hesitating. You eye him up and down. 
“Why?” You’re not suspicious or anything. You know he’s being a gentleman… you just… dunno. It’s weird. 
“Y’serious? Really?” Joel grabs the bags and the gentleman leaves him as he abandons you in the truck and starts towards the house. You roll your eyes and follow him inside. He’s walking upstairs already and you’re chasing him up, touching the backs for his thighs and his ass and he’s swatting your hands away. 
“S’no fun, is it?” You tease him and squeeze his ass playfully through his jeans. He jumps and glares at you over his shoulder. 
“S’fun when I do it to you.” he grins as you get to the top of the stairs. “Real fun.” 
“Oh, I bet it is.” You grin back at him as he walks into his bedroom. He sets your bags on his bed and turns to you. 
“Football’s on. Wanna come sit n’ smoke with me while I don’t pay attention?” He asks, chuckling softly. 
“Why wouldn’t you be payin’ attention?” You bat your eyelashes at him and smirk. 
“‘Cause my team sucks— what do you mean?” Joel gives you his goofy, dumb smile and wraps an arm around your waist. “I am real sorry. Feel bad y’probably waited up fer’ me n’ I didn’t call. I sat here all night just feelin’ bad.” Joel whispers before he kisses you softly. “Don’t wanna make y’sad.” 
“I wasn’t sad.” You lie. You lie so hard because you’re not gonna let him know you were sad. You don’t get sad over boys. You already cried once because you thought he went home after he ate you out. No. He won’t know it. 
“Well good. I’m glad y’weren’t cryin’ in bed. I don’t want ya doin’ that over me.” He kisses you again softly. You kiss him back but are thinking about a casual way to ask if he’s interested in marrying you really quick. You just wanna know what it feels like to be married to him and then everything can just, go back to normal. 
“I was a lil disappointed but, I didn’t let it ruin my night.” You lie again.  Joel smiles and kisses your forehead now. 
“Good.” Is all he says. “Get yer’ spooky stories n’ lets go smoke n’ I have a bottle of somethin’ downstairs.” He smirks as he walks towards the door but he waits for you. You grab your laptop and follow him down into the living room. He has a nice big, brown suede couch and a matching recliner. An ottoman to put your feet on. A table on either side of the couch. You set your laptop down and follow him into the kitchen just so happy to be here and be with him. You weren’t expecting to see him ever again. So, this is exciting. You’re not trying to hide that. You want him to know you’re happy to see him. 
“Did you have a good day yesterday after you dropped me off?” You ask as he grabs a cup and a decently priced bottle of whiskey and sets them next to each other. 
“I did. Groceries n’ normal bullshit. Had to get my laundry from the cleaners.” He explains. 
“You don’t do your own laundry?” You are slightly entertained by this for some reason. 
“Hell no.” Joel shakes his head and grabs ice from the freezer. “Haven’t done laundry since Sarah moved out.” He’s chuckling now as he puts the ice in the glass. 
“Did you… make her do your laundry before that?” You squint your eyes at him. 
“Hell no.” Joel says again but he laughs now. “I did mine n’ she did her own when she got old enough.” He laughs and pours whiskey into your glass half way and looks at you with a raised eyebrow. “Do you need… a coke or somethin’?” He says it with a wrinkled nose. You laugh at him. 
“Are you a whiskey snob? If y’are… I got a good story for ya… it’ll piss ya right off.” You smirk and lean against his counter. “I do want a coke.” You grin. Joel groans loudly and goes back to the fridge. 
“Let’s hear this good story, lil girl.” Joel rolls his eyes and doesn’t sound amused already. 
“You ever heard of The Reach—” You start but Mr. Miller finishes. 
“81? I sure have. Why? Y’know ‘bout it?” He pulls his head back from the fridge and stares at you with heightened eyebrows. 
“I do. Have you ever had it?” You ask curiously. Joel shakes his head no but stays quiet. “There is some back at my house– Cody is a huuuuuuge whiskey guy. I had no idea. None. Just thought it was like… expensive, ya know?” You nod at him and he nods back and then frowns before you can finish. 
“You put that into a Coke?!” Joel is so upset with you. So hurt, and so disappointed. 
“I didn’t know how much it cost!!” You exclaim.
“Almost more than my house!!” Joel almost shouts at you but it’s funny. “Jeeeeesus.” He shakes his head in disappoint again and pours Coke into his semi-expenisve whiskey and groans. 
“Oh god. Guys and their shitting on things girls like.” You sip your drink as he rolls his eyes. 
“I’d shit on anyone who did that.” Joel grumbles at you but is pulling you into the living room. He sits right beside you on the couch and hands you your laptop. “Let’s see these scary stories you’re talkin’ ‘bout.” He sighs and puts his feet up on the couch. He says it like you ran in here trying to show him this blog. So excited about it. You smirk and open the laptop. 
As the screen resumes the last internet browser page you were on… you snap the computer shut and do absolutely nothing else. Nothing. You freeze but you know what he saw. You were looking right at it… with him. So. You both know what you saw. He’s silent. It’s just very quiet minus the TV in the background. Finally, after so long of no talking and not even looking at him or moving, even… the man speaks. 
“What…what was that?” He asks very curiously. You’d be curious too, if you were him. You are dead on this couch. The first person to ever die of real embarrassment, honestly. You forgot what you did before you cried yourself to sleep in bed last night. What you used this computer for… You’re going to pass away right now. This is…not happening. No. Can’t be. 
There is no way that the last browser you had open on your computer was a fucking porn website. And… porn is so normal, Joel probably would have laughed about it with you but what you had in the search bar… and what you had pulled up on the screen wasn’t alarming or even unnatural. No, not at all. So natural. Two natural bodies. A man and a woman… 
The man… might look like Joel… a little bit. And the girl… might look like you… a little bit. The search bar definitely didn’t have the words ‘hot gray fifties man younger girl’ in there. No. It fucking can’t. You are trembling. He’s not going to see the search bar. No. Only you know what you typed in last night but the resemblance between those two actors and yourself and Joel are… uncanny. Honestly. You were… so excited when you found it– kind of nervous because for two seconds you thought Joel made a porn with you while you were sleeping. The two people were not you guys. Looked a lot like you guys though. Just enough differences and also too many fucking similarities for it to not do what you wanted it to do. So, that’s even more annoying. It didn’t even work. You were too upset about being not ghosted. So. You’re dumb and embarrassed. 
“Hey, what was that?” Joel asks after what feels like an hour of you just looking at your closed laptop. 
“N–”
“Don’t say nothin’.” Joel barely lets you even start. So. He knows. 
“What did it look like?” You ask, snapping your head to him now. He has the smallest smile on his face, leaned in trying to see the screen you snapped shut. You wonder right now if Cody would buy you a new laptop if you smashed this one. No. He wouldn’t. He’ll buy himself $125,000 scotch though. So. Cool. You swallow hard.
“Uh… it kinda looked like me?” Joel flicks his eyes between your closed computer and your almost tearful eyes. You’re not crying. Just haven’t blinked in eight minutes. 
“That’s crazy you think that.” Is all you can come up with because you’re stunned that this is happening to you right now. Joel shakes his head in bewilderment. 
“I know what I saw.” He points to the computer. “Open it.” 
“No.” 
It’s a standoff… a staring contest… a who can hold their breath the longest competition. You lose and blink first and when you do— Joel takes the computer from you, so quickly. You didn’t think that’s what he was going to do. You freeze and Joel freezes too, his hands are about to open it. 
“Do y’wanna show me yer’self or… do I need t���look?” Joel is smirking over at you. It might be less worse if the computer is in his lap and not right in front of you. You can at least not look then, feeling less shame for a moment until he shames you himself. 
“Do it.” You whisper, shielding your eyes from the monstrosity that is about to unfold. Nothing bad is going to happen. Nothing. You know this. It’s just going to fucking make him way to happy. Way too happy. Like when you told him your sex toys didn’t do what he did to you. UGH. 
“Y’sure?” Joel raises one brow at you. 
“I’ll… never open that computer myself.” You speak with no emotion because he’s already doing it. It takes three seconds for the screen to come to life. 
There it is. Joel’s fucking body double… railing some fucking twenty five year old. Hard. You turn away. You can’t look and see what he thinks of this. It’s too much. You hear the computer keys click and then the video starts to fucking play. Loudly. It’s…porn sounds. Moaning and skin slapping together. This guy is talking dirty. The girl is calling him daddy… You feel like you could throw up. 
“Damn.” Joel whistles after. “I don’t really watch porn but…this is good.” He speaks to the computer, apparently, because you’re facing the complete opposite direction now. You’re thinking about putting your hands over your ears, but Joel wraps his arm around your waist and pulls your back into his chest a little. “Watch it with me.” He whisper.
“I’m too embarrassed to be turned on.” You groan and close your eyes. 
“So… we’re not gon’ do nothin’ today. I have self-control. I can teach y’some if y’need me to.” Joel isn’t teasing when he says this. He’s so serious. It for some reasons calms your nerves and also offends you a little bit. 
“I have self control.” You roll your eyes but lean into him and put your head on his shoulder and reluctantly watch the screen of your laptop with him. 
“Ok.” Joel snorts at you but holds you against him when you try and move away. “Tell me what you like ‘bout the way he fucks her.” Joel whispers into your ear quietly. You snap your head up to him with wide, questioning eyes. “I know why y’picked it… wanna know why y’kept watchin’...” Joel whispers again and his breath in your ear gives you goosebumps. You swallow hard again and watch the screen. 
Joel’s twin has your look-a-like on her knees with her chest pressed into the mattress. Her back is arched so dramatically that it looks like it might hurt, regardless, the guy in the video is…hammering into her and she is begging him to make her come and he keeps telling her no. He’s spanking her with some fucking sex thing. You dunno. It honestly looks like something that would come on the handle of a child’s bike. Buncha lil tassles! But!!! This one is leather and all black and he is… spanking her. 
“I like all of it.” You shrug your shoulders not wanting to say thing specific because you don’t wanna sound silly or inexperienced. Your answer isn’t enough for him. 
“You like how she’s layin’ on the bed?” He asks, holding his hand up to her like you cannot see. 
“Yeah, sure.” You nod and shrug your shoulder closest to him. He respires through his nose quickly and then points to how he’s holding on to her hips and slamming into her from behind. 
“Do you like that?” He sounds so curious to know if you really did like it, and almost like he knows you didn’t. But you did. 
“Yeah. He’s really givin’ it to her.” You whisper this now, because saying it in a regular volume feels dirty. When Joel speaks, he also whispers. 
“Do you like how he’s tellin’ her not t’ come?” Joel isn’t looking at the computer anymore, he’s looking right at you and you’re trying not to look at him. You shrug your shoulders and say nothing because that sounds horrible. Being denied a come??? No thanks. You’re good with coming freely whenever you want. “Why dontchya know, lil girl, tell me?” He coos to you softly and sweetly. 
“I dunno. Do you like being told not to come?” You do look up at him now and he’s already nodding.”
“Yeah.” Joel smirks a little. “Not always n’ not forever… but yeah.” He speaks in his normal tone again and looks back at the screen. He points with his finger to what the porn star has in his hand. “Do you like that ?” Joel looks back at you now. Emotionless. He doesn’t want you to know if he likes it or not. What a fucking ass. 
“I dunno. I’ve never… been spanked befo—” You’re casually explaining your inexperience to him when he cuts you off. 
“No one’s ever spanked you? Not even foolin’ around or nothin’?” Joel sounds shocked. You shake your head. 
“No, I just… I dunno.” You avoid his eyes. 
“S’wrong?” He closes the laptop and suddenly this has turned into a serious conversation. 
“Nothin’.” You’re just being shy. This is weird. You hate that he’s probably slept with thousands of women and you… are you. So. You’re feeling intimidated. 
“Tell me.” Joel pushes but not angrily or aggressively. He’s trying to figure you out. 
“I don’t even know what’s wrong! I’m just embarrassed.” You sink into his couch and rest your head back on his shoulder. 
“Of what!?” Joel points to the computer “That? Don’t be. That’s fuckin’ normal. Hot. Guy kinda looked like me, huh?” He says this like it’s supposed to comfort you. “You watch that last night? Missin’ me?” Joel whispers now and still speaks too comfortingly…almost condescendingly, but not quite there. It’s making your lower stomach flutter though. You nod silently. “Awhh ain’t the lil girl real sweet, you come?” He is grinning but whispering and still talking so nice.
“No.” You whisper. 
“S’how you wanna get fucked? Or y’watchin’ it ‘cause I told ya I liked it like that?” He asks softly, turning to speak against your forehead. 
“Lil of both.” You mewl quietly. Joel lets his head fall back against the couch and he sighs softly. “What’s wrong?” You pull your head off his shoulder and look at him. 
“Not one single fuckin’ thing.” Joel chirps happily and pulls you into him tighter. “Go n’ read yer’ scary st— or finish yer’ lil video if ya want.” Joel lifts his head and is grinning at you playfully. “Dirty Bird.” He pinches your side, puts your laptop on the couch beside him and stands up. 
“Where ya going?” You watch as he walks towards the kitchen. He holds up his empty beer bottle and then disappears. 
Holy fucking shit. You open your laptop and close out of that shit so quickly and open your blog. Oh god. That wasn’t too bad though. Pretty good actually. Kinda hot. You wonder if that’s a normal thing to do. Watch porn with the guy you wanna fuck. You don’t really want him looking at another naked woman… so… you dunno. Might not do it again.
Joel comes back with a joint behind his ear. He’s so fucking hot. Fuck. His jeans and his t-shirt. Shit. He said nothing’s happening tonight… why? You don’t ask. No. Enjoy this. Live in the moment. He sits down practically on top of you and looks at your laptop to see what you’re doing. 
“Okay… these are the spooky stories..” He nods his head and reads a couple words and then pulls his head back and looks at you. “That’s– uh.. That’s not spooky, babe. That’s a graphic description of someone bein’ murdered… it looks like.” Joel checks the screen again and then looks back at you. “Yeah.”
“It’s a true crime thing.” You explain. “It tells you al the horrible details of crimes that they normally leave out of the podcasts…” You nod sadly.  “I like reading though…so it’s not too bad.” You shrug. Joel is blinking at you. 
“Y’wanna know all this shit? It doesn’t make y’sad?” He is confused.
“I mean… sometimes ‘cause, yeah it is sad. It happened though– I dunno if that’s disrespectful but the lady who does this blog is always real nice. There are certain cases she won’t talk about ‘cause the families had said they don’t like when people do stuff like that.” You explain but Joel isn’t swayed. 
“Yeah… that’s kinda weird t’exploit someone’s murder.” Joel shrugs his shoulder. 
“She doesn’t make money. Those weird podcasters do. Not her though– at least I don’t thin. She’s never gotten a red cent from me. Never asks.” You shrug. 
“Eh, I don’t give a shit enough to argue with you ‘bout it.” He shrugs, kisses your cheek and watches the TV. You have to sit with that statement for about three minutes before you decide you also do not give a shit enough to care and don’t fight with him. 
Football is… fun? You dunno. Not a real fan. Some of the guys on his TV though are CUTE! What!? Jeeeesus and they’re just running around hitting each other? 
“Why don’t they do that all the time?” You ask, holding your hand to the TV. He doesn’t look away from the screen when he answers you. 
“Do what?” He is interested in the game. His team must be doing good or something. 
“Uhh– the sounds— the player sounds.” You nod and look over at him, ripping your eyes away from those men on the screen. 
“What’re y’talkin’ ‘bout? He still doesn’t look at you. 
“Okay, so they’re always talking. Blah blah blah– like we aren’t watching the fuckin’ game they’re talking about!? Stupid. Tony Romo’s voice is fucking annoying. I’d rather hear the players!!” You exclaim. 
“The players aren’t sayin’ nothing. They’re just gruntin’ n’ talkin’ shi-”Joel stops and looks over at your innocent face. 
“It’s better!! Better than Tony fucking Romo. Jesus.” You roll your eyes and go back to your blog. 
What a great time for Matt or as you put him in your phone as ‘matt cat cute tattoos’ decided to go ahead and text you. The message– as well as his name– pop up in the corner of your computer and you get a notification ding, a loud one. 
Looked cute yesterday. Wyd today?
As soon as you get it, Joel’s entire body stiffens besides you but he says nothing, doesn’t move. Nothing. You don’t know what to do. Bringing this computer into Joel’s home has been nothing but bad— just bad. It was bad at first..then kinda good again…now so bad. So, so bad again. Shit. Joel still doesn’t speak and you don’t know what to say so you just exit out of it– and then sit there. 
You watch the TV and the clock on the screen was at fifteen minutes when you looked and it stops so many times. So many times that clock stops and starts and they add time to it again once. It’s not until there are only two minutes left in the quarter that Joel speaks. 
“So… who is Matt?” He asks so casually. 
“Just a guy from the cat shelter.” You explain innocently. 
“Oh, gotchya.” He nods his yeah slowly, you can see him nodding out of the corner of your eye. “He that cute?” 
“Oh god.” you put your head in your hands. “I gave him my number yesterday after you dropped me off because I didn’t know if you like– really wanted anything to do with me.. Like actually? Ya know.” You don’t look at Joel because you are too scared.  “Kinda the same reason you liked Ava’s picture before we hung out that night.” 
“Yeah…I see what yer’ sayin’...” Joel sighs but he sounds like he has more to say. He does. “We had hung out though…” Joel is not looking at you either. You both are just speaking facing the TV on the wall in front of you. 
“I know…” You’re shaking and you wonder if he can feel your trembling body literally touching his. 
“Did you go see him last night?” Joel asks emotionless and now you turn to look at him because no you didn’t. Didn’t even think to text him because you had already forgotten about Matt. If you had even fucking remembered in your sadness… you might have gone to see him. 
“No. I didn’t.” You say so confidently and now he looks at you. “I swear I didn’t.” Your eyes scan all across his face and he stays emotionless, doesn’t smile…nothing. 
“Why?” He is still so calm. 
“What do you mean?” You’re stunned to say the least. What the fuck? Did he want you to? Is this a trick? You’re so confused and wanna know what the fuck is going on. 
“Why didn’t you go see him? I blew you off last night n’ you still didn’t go see him?” Joel asks, now a little curious.
“Blew me off?” You wrinkle your brow at him and he panics for half a second in his eyes and then goes back to being calm. 
“Didn’t call or text you.” He defines being blown off to you like you don’t know what the fuck it meant. 
“No. I know that… but I don’t think that’s what you meant to say. What happened last night?” You turn it around on him and wait for his response. 
“Tell me why you didn’t go see that guy and I will.” He pulls away from you a little and you do it too at the same time and read his face. You dunno. It’s just handsome Fucker. 
“No. Did you really forget your keys and phone in your brothers truck last night?” You ask quietly and Joel groans.  
Doesn’t matter. You’re off the couch and running up the stairs to get your stuff. He lied to you. Lied right to your fucking face and then continued to fucking lie. Are you kidding!? He’s chasing you, faster and with more desperation this time. You’re flying up the stairs and into his room. You cannot slam the door in his face because its his house and his bedroom so you run in and grab your stuff off the bed but he’s in the doorway when you turn around. Panting. 
“Move.” You snap at him but he shakes his head. “Then I think I’m officially being kidnapped or being held hostage and I will fight you off. I will fight you so hard.” You point at him but you will not fight him. He could kidnap you and you’d be fine with it. Unless he was with Ava. Then you’ll just kill him. Skip the fighting part. 
“No.” Joel shakes his head again. “Not fuckin’ kidnappin’ you. Grow up.” he snaps at you and is still panting. You roll your eyes. 
“Old!” You snap back at him. “Fuckin’--- just old! Fuck!” You are so pissed and do not know what you’re saying. 
“Stop it.” Joel waves his hand at you and pinches his brows together. 
“No. Tell me what happened.” You bobble your head from side to side and cross your arms over your chest with your bags still in your hand. You purse your lips together tightly. 
“Got more drunk at the bar with Tommy than I usually do, n’ he dropped me off. I just fell asleep ‘fore I could call you. Got in bed and had the phone right there in my hand…just passed out.” He sounds ashamed of himself. 
"That's same shit excuses the thirty year old's I stopped talking to would use. Awesome.” You roll your eyes and think about what Patti said. You’re not asking him shit and don’t care anymore. 
“We had just’ finished a big job the day before– bunch’a guys from work were there.” He shrugs his shoulders. 
“Why not just tell me that?” You press your lips together again. 
“‘Cause of what you just said. I don’t want you thinkin’ that’s the kinda guy I am.” Joel sighs. "We were just celebratin'. Made good money on that job. Drank more than normal."
“Well… now I think you’re a liar. So, that sucks. You could have just said that to me last night when we were texting. Could have just sent me 'At Bar'... I would have figured it out." You sigh loudly and work up the courage to try and leave even though you don't really wanna. You're gonna though. You’re leaving. Lyin’ aint your flavor baby! You don’t play that shit. No. You can deal with emotionally unavailable. You can deal with distant– love that apparently… but you won’t be lied to. 
“I’m not a liar– look.” Joel pulls his phone out and shows you the screen after he pulls up some bullshit. It’s a picture of him and his brother at the bar. Cool. Who cares. 
“Okay, I dunno that you came right here after. You were so quick to lie to me.. Which is what I have the real problem with– not you getting drunk. I don’t give a shit about that. I’m not dumb and naive.” You go to push past him through the door but he doesn’t budge. 
“C’moon.” He sounds sad but you don’t care. 
“No. You’re willing to fuckin’ lie to cover that shit up…something soooo stupid and meaningless.  Something I would have been mad about? Yeah I would have. But would have gotten over--- in a couple days! ‘Cause ya were honest with me. Not lying to get me to your house. Ugh. Fuckin’ gross.” You scoff. 
“You wanna go home?” Joel asks now in a very firm tone. You don’t. You were having so much fun before stupid Matt. Having fun pretending to watch football and snuggle with him!!
“Not really!! I was having fun!!” You exclaim in frustration.
“So stay!” Joel exclaims in matched frustration. “I just didn’t want you fuckin’ bitchin’ at me ‘bout my drinkin’ with my brother! Sorry!” He is still frustrated. 
“Um. No. That sounds stupid.” You roll your eyes at him. "Lie to me to keep me from being upset with you about something?"
“You really think Imma liar?” Joel sounds so hurt now and you see in his eyes that he actually is a little hurt by this. 
“Welp, seeing as you lied. Kinda.” You huff angrily. Joel rolls his eyes. That’s the straw on the camel's back right there. “Fuck you. How are you going to be annoyed? I told you the truth!” You snap at him. 
“Fuck you, too!” Joel snaps back for… no reason. Just said it to say it. It’s kind of cute but also incredibly annoying. “How do I know yer’ not lyin’ ‘bout going to see that guy. You lied to me about being a virgin that first night... told me ya weren't... why?” Joel flicks his eyebrows up to you. 
“BECAUSE I WAS ASHAMED!!?? DIDN'T THINK YOU'D WANNA SEE ME AGAIN IF I TOLD YOU!!??” You shout. Joel's shouting is much different from yours. Very loud. Much louder and deeper and bellowing. 
“SO WAS I!! SAME REASON!!” Joel shakes clenches his jaw tight. "I’m fuckin’ ashamed I got that drunk." Joel exclaims at you in frustration-- much softer now though. but then he just groans before he speaks again. "Fuuuuck. I hate this shit. Stupid shit.” Joel throws his hands up in the air and huffs. “I’m goin’ to watch football.” And then he marches his stupid ass right downstairs. You flick him off for two full minutes now that he is out of sight. He is kinda right. Sonofabitch. You hate when men are right. Hate it. You don’t even wanna go back downstairs. But you do. Joel is sitting where he had been before and doesn’t look at you when you come down– with no bags. You feel so uncomfortable. 
“Do you want me to stay?” You grumble. Joel snorts. 
“Do you want to?” He scoffs at you softly still looking at the TV.
“If you’re going to talk to me like that, no.” You roll your eyes. Joel flicks his head to you now, with soft eyes and small smirk... and pats his lap. “What?” You're confused. 
“C’moon.” Joel nods you over to him.
“You want me to come…sit on your lap?” You raise one eyebrow at him suspiciously. He silently nods. Then he beckons you again with another patting of his muscular thigh with his fucking big, strong, stupid hands. You say nothing and don’t even look at him as you shuffle to him. He holds your waist and sits you down on to him. The back of your thighs is right on top of his and you’re more on the couch than in his lap. He looks down at you and smirks. 
“I won’t lie t’ya anymore. I’m real sorry. Didn’t wanna look like n’ ass. N’ I did anyway.” He runs strong hand across your legs softly and scans your face. “N’ I believe y’didn’t go see that Matt fucker.” He grumbles his name and makes you chuckle. “Why’d ya think I wouldn’t want nothin’ t’do withya?” He’s somehow leaned in and now only inches from your face. How did this happen?
“I dunno– you’re kind of established n’ I’m not.” You whisper softly. “N’ I thought maybe all you wanted was... the only thing I got to offer.” You chuckle but there are other emotions brewing inside you. Shit. You’re not gonna cry. No. You will not. 
“Stupid.” Joel leans in and kisses you softly, his tongue flicks across your bottom lip but doesn’t enter your mouth or do anything else. You whine softly when he pulls away. “Football.” He nods his head to the TV. 
Fuck. He does have self control.
Joel leads you upstairs for bed later after locking all the doors and windows, checking the thermostat and making sure all the blinds were shut. You cant help but wonder if he does it ever night as a cute lil routine and now you are in love with him. No you’re not. Stop doing that. No. He’s a man and just regular. You keep telling yourself that as he walks you into his bedroom and pulls his shirt off over his head and tosses it in the hamper. 
“You got pjs or do you need something?” he asks, knowing you have a bag of clothes… he carried it in. 
“I have —” You’re trying so hard not to smile at him for no reason as he grabs a t-shirt from his dresser and tosses it on to the bed near where you’re standing. 
“You could use that if you wanted.” He’s being so serious. If he’s being cute and flirting he isn’t showing it as he works on his belt. Your body jolts into gear when you become fully aware that you’re just standing there staring at him. You pull your own shirt off and unclasp your bra around the back and let it slide down your shoulders and arms. You half expect Joel to be staring at you stupidly like an idiot, but he just walks behind you, brings his rough, strong calloused hand to your waist, squeezes softly and walks into the bathroom. 
You throw on his t-shirt and pull your shorts off and walk into the bathroom with your toothbrush feeling…so silly for some reason. You shouldn’t!! He wants you here. Gave you the stupid shirt without you asking. He knew you wanted it. Or he wanted you to have it… which was even cuter and made you even more nervous and feel even sillier. 
Joel hands you toothpaste as you stand in front of the vanity mirror. It’s a good mirror. You’re thinking about how good it would be to sit on the sink and pick at your face in this fucking thing while you brush your teeth. You might if you ever get an opportunity. You brush real good and follow Joel back into the bedroom, he waits for you at the door of the bathroom and extends his hand to you. To walk to his bed. Six feet away. You do not give one single fucking shit. He could hold your hand into the zombie apocalypse if he wanted. You’d let him lead you right into that shit. Fuck.
He pulls the sheets back for you and walks around the bed as you crawl in. 
“Hey.” He growls once he’s in bed. You’re so far away from him. There could be three more people in here. 
“Hi.” You have to speak with your real talking voice to make him hear you. 
“You could come closer.” He chuckles softly. 
“Why is it so big!?” You smirk at him as you have to take several hands and knees over to him. 
“I’m a big guy.” Joel shrugs. 
“Not this big!” You snuggle right up into him and now there is… still an entire queen sized bed left over where you had just crawled from. You giggle excitedly and wiggle around beside him. He is warm and perfect and smells like Joel and this is exciting. You're so happy to be here.
“What’re you wormin’ around fer?” Joel looks down at you, smirking. 
“I dunno. Just happy to be here, I think. Got the sillies or something.” You giggle up to him. “Do you not get in bed and get all excited to be in bed n’ snuggly next to someone??” You look up and him and suddenly feel kinda dumb but he doesn’t let you for long as he wriggles down beside you and wraps you up in his arms. 
“ Shiiit… no. I’m a grown man.” He sounds offended that you’d ask him that. “But you can squirm n’ worm all around next to me whenever ya’ want..” Joel chuckles and kisses the top of your head. 
“I got a cat yesterday. S’why I was at the cat shelter.” You whisper up to him. “Her name is Agatha Christie.” You add quickly after a second of silence. Joel tries and fails to stifle his laughter. 
“What!? Did you pick that name out? Poor cat.” He’s still laughing and jostling your whole body around as he laughs heartily. “Why’d ya get a cat?” 
“I’ve wanted one for a while.” You snap at him. “And her name is good!! I like spooky stuff… Agatha Christie wrote creepy detective books!! Death on the Nile!! So good!” You’re semi offended. Joel rubs his hand all along your back and shoulders. You're running your hand all across his soft n' smooth stomach except for a lil trail of hair that leads down into his boxers. He's so soft n' pudgy but firm and tight at the same time. You wanna run your tongue all along him. Shit. Talking about cats. Fuck. Okay.
“Issa good name fer’ you. Yeah, yer’ right.” Joel is still chuckling. 
“I didn’t even name her that!” You poke him in the sides and he grabs your wrist gently. 
“I’ll spank you into next week. Don’t.” He growls it. 
“Next week? For a poke? Seems excessive…” You roll your eyes at him but, you want him to. Want to poke his soft and pudgy and perfect tummy. It's calling for you.
“Don’t…” Joel is warning you. 
“Are you super ticklish?” You’re not going to tickle him…because you don’t like being tickled. Hate it even though it...tickles and makes you laugh.
“Just don’t.” He sighs loudly and lets your wrist go. It was never tight to begin with. You just like him holding onto you.
“Fine.” You feign annoyance as you kiss his shoulder softly. He sighs softer now and rubs your back gently again. 
“Roll over.” Joel whispers quietly. You do exactly as he says and might never question him ever again. He molds himself into your back and ass and his legs are pressed into yours. He is engulfing you. His mouth is right beside your ear now. “Glad you stayed.” He murmurs softly. 
“Me too.” You breathe out softly. 
“I’m gon’ tease both of us a lil now, don’t get too worked up, ‘kay Cricket?” He snickers so softly in your ear as he pushes his groin into your ass softly. “Love teasin’...” He keeps speaking as he grinds against you. “Feels fuckin’ good, don’t it?” His voice is so soft and if his cock wasn’t getting hard against you, you’d fall asleep he’s so calm and soothing. 
“Yeah…” You sigh because it’s all you can do. His hand is moving all across your stomach and down between your legs for… milliseconds. It makes you groan and him chuckle each time. His strong fingers pinch and tug at your nipples softer than the first time he touched them. 
“You like this? Want me t’stop?” He kisses behind you ear gently and then breathes out against you as he works his cock into the V between your closed legs and pussy. “Shit.” Joel chokes it back and pushes into you harder. You can feel his searing hot length against the skin of your inner thighs and through the fabric of your panties. “I gotta stop.” He chuckles but does not. 
“Keep going.” You whisper to him and pause for a moment. “Please?” You really want him to keep going…you’re not really sure why. It doesn’t feel like much of anything to you other than something hot and hard between your legs. “Don’t stop… Mr. Miller.” You bite your bottom lip and cringe and how awkward you are and then Joel reacts to this.
“Jesus fucking Christ.” He spits the words out and pulls you back against him even tighter, his forearm between your breasts and now his hand is around your neck softly, he’s breathing into your ear. “What did you say?” He whispers but there is force behind this whisper. 
“Please don’t stop, Mr. Miller.” You whimper softly as his hand tightens around your throat. “I’m sorry?" You’re kinda scared because this giant man has his hand around your throat… but is still doing whatever it is he’s doing between your legs. Fucking your thighs? Dunno. He’s still doing that but faster now. And choking you moderately. 
“Fuckin’ naughty, lil girl.” His voice is so deep, fuck. Okay. Is he mad? 
“Do you really like that?” You ask nervously but his body is already telling you that he does… his voice is saying.. Maybe? His hand leaves your throat and his body stops moving against yours. 
“What’d I do?” he holds his hands up and freezes. You look at him over your shoulder and he’s panting, sweating a little, but looking at you fearfully. “M’sorry fer’ whatever it was…” 
“What? You didn’t do anything..” You blink at him. He blinks back at you. 
“Huh? Then what’re you talkin’ ‘bout ‘cause I love all that.” Joel sighs softly and relaxes. 
“Me calling you Mr. Miller?” You raise your eyebrow at him. Joel snorts and lays back in bed. 
“Uh…yeah. I fuckin’ do.” Joel shakes his head. “S’fuckin’... I dunno. I dunno why I like it. Yer’ the first woman t’ever call me that in bed...damn... I liked it though fer' some reason.” Joel sighs loudly. “Sorry. I ain’t mean fer’ it t’go that far. I snuck right outta my boxers.” He rubs the sweat off his forehead and looks over at you. “Y’like all that?” 
“You weren’t mad at me?” You’re still blinking a little. Joel looks like he’s replaying the last four minutes in his head to think if you did something to make him mad.
“No.” He says after a moment and then looks over at you. “What’d I do t’make y’think that?” 
“Uh… choked me? Sounded real mad?” You gawk at him. 
“Didn’t like bein’ choked?” 
“Well now that I know you’re not mad at me… I think I did? I dunno. Let’s do it again.” You suggest eagerly but he just laughs. 
“Nah, ‘cause then it wouldn’t be teasin’.” Joel shrugs his shoulders. 
“That is terrible.” You groan. “Don’t like teasing.” You whine and then face the other way again, annoyed. 
“Lose yer’ attitude, lil Bird.” Joel spanks your ass softly over the blankets. “T’cute to be all ‘tudinal.” 
“I thought you liked a bratty lil girl.” You mock him gently and smirk, getting comfortable in the bed next to him.
He chuckles beside you and rubs the fat of your ass over the blankets now. “Yeah… I do.” Joel sighs loudly and rolls back over to be behind you again. “Goin’ t’sleep now, really.” Joel kisses behind your ear and the the back of your shoulder and the top of your head. His arm drapes over your side and then it’s quiet. 
You’re too excited to sleep!? What!? Why did you not feel this way the last two times? You slept fine. Mr. Miller!! This sonofabitch gets you all horny for thigh fucking and then is sleeping behind you first? Unfair. Not cool. Okay….without that real loud fan from your place…his snoring is kinda loud. Real loud. Right in your ear loud. Is he being so fucking for real right now? This has to be a joke. 
No. 
He is so fucking for real. And the man…sleeps like he might be dead. If it wasn’t for the snoring…you’d think he was how he reacted to literally nothing you did. He had to be faking and pretending. You eventually weasel your way back across this football field sized bed and…the snoring isn’t too bad over here. Still kinda loud. You’ll be fine. You’ve slept through worse. Fighting parents (screaming dad) all night sometimes. This is nothin’. 
It was not nothing.
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tag list: @immyowndefender @korikolove @untamedheart81 @fanficlover1414 (i'll add or take you off, just let me know!)
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thedeluluverse · 2 days ago
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Author’s Note:  Welp, this ended up way longer than I plannedXD Sorry for the delays but I hope y’all like it and please please please gimme ALLLLLL the feedback! Been a while since I wrote and very nervous haha XD
Summary: Y’all have been friends for 5 years, but there are still sides to him that you’d never imagined. Will his tricks work or push you away?
Pairing:  prisonguard!sunoo x inmate!femalereader (mentions of Sunghoon)
Rating: 18+
Genre:  angst, smut, one-shot, prison au, yandere fic, happy ending
Word Count: 4,124
Warnings: 18+ MINORS DNI  extreme “Brought the Heat Back” feelings, explicit content, oral sex (f. receiving), breast play, squirting, clit play, praise kink, neck kissing, degradation, unprotected p in v (be smart kids), yandere/obsession themes, secretly monitored self-pleasure, wrongful imprisonment, Y/N glossing over red flags (don’t do this irl pls)
Since the summer before you went into high school, you and Sunoo have been friends. It started when you went to his friend Jake's house for an end-of-middle-school pool party, and you both bonded over judging the annoying tweens around you.
As fate would have it, you ended up having many of the same class periods all throughout high school and grew even closer over several study sessions. Both went solo together to dances but acted like one asked the other when anyone asked to avoid looking pathetic.
That is until the senior year Sadie Hawkins dance. A new student had joined the roster and immediately became the focal point of school for you. His name was Sunghoon, and he was the right amount of reserved and sarcastic to give you heart eyes.
Despite your nerves and insecurities, you worked up the courage to ask Hoon (a nickname he recently accepted after many hangouts together) to the dance. To your surprise, he rapidly accepted your invitation!
Proud of yourself and overwhelmed with excitement, you call Sunoo after school to tell him of this accomplishment and see if he wanted to go shopping with you this weekend.
After a quick snack, you call your best friend, "Hey, Sun-sun, are you busy?" "Nope, Y/N, just avoiding homework, haha. What's up?" "Ohhhhh well, nothing much except I asked Hoon to the dance, and he said yes! Can you believe that???".
Deafening silence extinguishes your enthusiasm as quickly as it sparked, "Um, Sunoo...you there?"
A couple more seconds pass, and he says, "The call is still going, isn't it?" With a scoff, you retort, "Oh, excuse me, sassy king, it was hard to tell when you made no indication that you heard me."
He has the nerve to get offended and goes, "Sorry if I didn't clap for joy at the fact that for the first time since we came to this shithole, I'll have to stay home for a dance. I mean, whoopee for you, but you gave me no warning that you'd abandon me like this."
You are speechless. It's the last reaction you expected, and now you feel bad for not at least letting him know. "I... I'm not sorry I asked him, but I apologize for not setting you up or warning you first. I can try to hook you up with my friend if you want!" "No, it’s fine. Have fun. I have to get started on homework. Talk to you later. Unless you forget all about me...”
With that, he hangs up and leaves you stunned, sitting on your bed slack-jawed. You honestly thought he would be happy for you. Feeling lost, you call your friend Ara, "I have no idea why he would react that way. Can you believe that?!"
She gives a disappointed sigh, then says, "I actually can. Imagine if he gave you no heads up and sprung on you having a date to the dance. And don't even pretend like that'd be okay with you, girl.”
Dejectedly, you admit that she’s right and just can’t get over the intensity of his reaction, to which Ara says, “Oh come on, you can’t be this clueless... he has had a crush on you forever.” “WHAT? Noooo, don’t give me false hope like that.”
She snorts. “Heh, you finally admit it. You have a thing for him! Well, it looks like you have to choose. Pretty new boy or tried and true rock?”
Pondering her words, you make a plan of action, “Hmmm, well, I may never get lucky enough for a guy like Hoon not to reject me, so I’ll stick with that, and then next week, I’ll tell Sunoo how I feel.”
Giving a hum of approval for your plan, Ara warns you not to play with either boy’s emotions or neglect your own. “Do what makes you happy, Y/N; whoever you don’t choose will just have to deal.”
Meanwhile, Sunoo avoids you like the plague for the next week, even going so far as to switch lab partners.
All of that is almost forgotten once the day of the dance finally arrives. You feel like the prettiest vampire queen in a floor-length ruby-toned number that lays perfectly off your shoulders and hugs all the right places.
After Hoon's mom drops you off, the night is a blur. A magical blur where he indeed must be a prince in another life with how well he is treating you. After a couple of slow songs with y'all almost kissing, you excuse yourself to the restroom to try to settle your nerves and try to summon some courage.
You exit, and upon reaching the hallway, you see Sunoo. He looks awestruck, and you blush. "Hey, Y/N, I'm really sorry. I overreacted, and well, I miss my friend. Will she accept me back?"
Pretending to think, you finally smirk and say, "I suppose I will accept your apology. I missed you too!" After tightly embracing each other, he steps back and says, "Well, my beautiful bestie, you wanna head back in and ditch Mr. Stuck Up? The chaperones are dissociating, so I'll be able to sneak in no problem."
You back away, upset, "First off, flattery won't get me to allow you to talk badly of him or convince me to sneak you in. Secondly, he is not stuck up; he is just still fairly new and reserved. Once you give him a chance, you'll see he is really cool!"
Rolling his eyes, he walks away, waving you off, "Have fun with my replacement. I'll see you around, maybe.."
In shock, you are frozen in the shadows when Hoon comes to find you. "There you are. You were gone so long that I got worried about you and had to come look for you. Everything okay?"
Smiling away the tears threatening to ruin your makeup, you nod and head back inside. You try to enjoy the rest of the dance, but the look in Sunoo's eyes haunts your memory.
It was like when he got picked last for dodgeball and by the opposite team, not even by you, but more intense and frightening if you're honest.
After graduation, you hear he got accepted to the security guard training program at the local jail while you were still waiting to hear back from your photography internship. It was annoying, but you try to hope it'll still happen.
The park was quiet for once, so you head over to take some more nature shots in your free time. Panning over to the left of you, a figure comes into focus, coming towards you. Shockingly, you see Sunoo smiling in your direction, and anxiety freezes you in place.
"Hello, stranger," he quips as he sits beside you on the bench. You scoot away from him, annoyed that he was so lighthearted when he was the one who parted ways.
"Can I help you, Mr. Kim?" "Why so formal? It's just me, Y/N." Crossing your arms, you look the other way and say, "Well, I don't tend to act friendly to people who walk out of my life for stupid reasons."
Pouting, he gets up suddenly, leaving you even more confused than before, then reappears about 5 minutes later with two cups in his possession. "All right, peace treaty apple juice. Let’s forget about all the high school silliness and share this with me before I go off to training.”
Almost denying his request, you realize how dehydrated you are and say fuck it downing the whole thing.
Not even 5 minutes pass, and you start to feel weird. You are barely able to convey this to Sunoo before you pass out. Unable to tell how long you were out, you awaken to being handcuffed and shoved in a police car.
Through half-open eyes, you scan around for Sunoo or anyone you know, but all you meet are the blinding sirens, which only make the pounding in your head worse.
The entire ride to the processing center, your mind is racing, trying to figure out how you got in this predicament, and freaking out because your independent life has only just begun and you had so many plans!
They bring you in and take your mugshot. Nobody is telling you what is happening, assuming you are only playing naïve to pull one over on them.
Going down the hall of multiple holding cells, the current inmates look just as confused as you feel, wondering what such a young girl is doing in this wretched place.
Distracted with your thoughts, you practically are thrown into a tiny room with just a bed, sink, and a hole to use the bathroom with no windows.
About to ask why you were not given the option for a call or are being separated from the rest of the people (not that you were upset, but it was worrying you how dangerously you were being treated), the female guard shoves you into the room and slams the door in your face with a "Shut the fuck up you waste of space."
Seems like around 3 days have passed. The only way you can tell is because you have been given 6 meal trays and heard from your trek to your room on the first day, inmates being upset they only get 2 meals daily.
While you are still confused about why the hell you are in this place, your strategy at this point is just to do as you are told and try to stay low until you can speak to someone with legitimate authority.
With this new mindset, the rest of your body is returning to normal, which is mostly a good thing...
The exception is your libido. It has returned with a vengeance, and once the lights go out on the 4th day, you decide to risk it not having spotted a camera yet.
Between your regular sex drive and all of the unfairness and frustrations with your situation, you cannot hold back any longer.
Right before you are about to hit your climax, you hear the keys in your door and freeze.
Pretending to sleep, you roll over onto your side and stick your fingers in your mouth to hide the smell of your sex, hoping they will buy that you still soothe yourself this way as an almost adult.
The door swings open, and you hear the footsteps approach you. You try to keep breathing normally even though you are terrified. The figure above you chuckles, and your heart plummets.
You try to convince yourself you are going insane, but there is no denying it once you hear the voice say, "Now, when did you start sucking your fingers when you sleep? In all of our sleepovers, I have never seen you do that."
You shoot up and start bawling, finally letting your body release all of the emotions that have been pent up since this whole ordeal began. Wrapping your arms around his neck, you pull him down into a tight embrace. Big mistake.
As he stands back up, he notices the sweat along your hairline from your previous activity and widens his eyes in concern, "Oh no, Y/N, do you feel okay? Are you getting a fever? You felt warm just now."
Blushing quicker than ever, you fervently shake your head in denial, "No, Sun-sun, I feel fine; was just a little warm, I promi-“
He cuts off your sentence by grabbing ahold of your chin and tilting your head up as he moves even closer to your ear whispering “Don’t lie to me when I saw everything you needy slut.”
Your eyes widen in horror, and confusion clouds your brain again as you look at him through your peripheral vision, "Wait, what do you mean? How? Why am I in here?"
Sinisterly chuckling, he gives you his cheeky smile. "Patience, I'll answer your questions and then help you with your little dilemma. Terribly sorry to interrupt, by the way, but you looked so sinful that I was hoping to catch you in the act." "Um, and what makes you think I would've let you? Or even needed your help?"
Sitting on the bed with you, he quirks up an eyebrow, "Slow down, I still haven't answered the first round of questions."
Pouting, you sit back against the wall and hold your knees to your chin, a medley of unpleasant feelings swirling in your gut.
Tucking a loose piece of hair behind your ear, he begins addressing your queries. "Okay so I may have commandeered the feed from your camera into a personal monitor so I can keep an eye on you. No biggie between friends, right?"
Your face turns red at him, using that title from when he went to M.I.A. for weeks after graduation. "How dare you..." you scowl at him. "Oh, now calm down, drama queen, so I can continue with my answers."
Begrudgingly, you do so but not without a lethal side eye aimed at the wall, slightly scared to direct it his way.
You never thought your friend would spy on you or call you a slut and aren’t keen to find out what other secrets are lying in wait.
Continuing his replies, “I know you would’ve let me because even if you try to deny it, we both have had feelings for each other since week one. As to you needing my help, I know you had everything perfectly under control but I feel like you crave more than your fingers kitten.”
Not daring to speak when he clocked your shit so accurately and your face looks like a tomato, you just hide your face. "Knew it." He states smugly. "Alright, on to the next matter: why are you here? It's all thanks to me, of course."
Slowly, you raise your head in horror as your entire body shakes. Scooting back as much as possible, you ask, "Wait, you are playing a trick on me, right? There is no reason for you to do that. Nice try, dude.."
He stands up and starts pacing around the room, "Oh, I had my reasons. First, things were getting too serious with that Hoon guy, and I didn't like it. And you might have found out you got accepted to a photography internship, which would take you away from me, and that can't happen...not yet. So, I would check your mail before you and only take out mail from the places you applied."
You stand up now with fists balled up at your sides. "What are you going on about? Not yet? Why don't you want me to be happy?" you scream at him with tears running down your face for the second time tonight.
As he approaches you, he wipes a tear from your cheek and kisses your forehead, "Oh darling, you still don't get it. I want nothing more than for you to be happy. Just not without me and not before I unlock the key to your tight pussy that I've dreamt about for years."
You freeze, staring at the wall, "What did you do? You still haven't answered why I got thrown in here and treated like a villain. Tell. Me. Now."
He sits you down on the bed again, looking down as if you were a rat caught in his trap. Which you were, by the way.
He squats down, staring into your soul as he reveals the remaining puzzle pieces. "Well, I got accepted into this place as a star trainee with excellent scores. They basically told me to use my best judgment and make them proud. My parents were not thrilled that I hadn't pursued a more upstanding career choice, so I wanted to prove to them that I could thrive here. You just happened to be the perfect muse to show them all my skills."
Taking a deep breath and looking too excited to finish relaying this info to you, he continues, "Well, when I spotted you in the park looking dejected but having that trying-to-distract-yourself look in your eyes, I knew it was my time to strike. I expertly mixed apple-flavored alcohol in the juice and then 'spilled' some on myself. I called a couple of buddies in the force to come over and help execute my plan."
All of your tears have dried up as you are burning up, wondering who the person is in front of you. "Don't worry, it gets better," he says as he pats your knee.
Cracking his neck, he nears the end of his story. "So basically, you are in here because I made you look like an underaged alcoholic by having the empty bottle right next to you, then lying to the officers and saying you were pressuring me to drink with you. Oh, also, you were trying to sell shots to our classmates and even the middle schoolers. They are so worried about this getting out with the mayoral election coming up and your parents being his friends that they aren’t allowing any visitors or calls from or for you until the sentencing.”
You stand up, knocking him on his ass in fury, "How could you?! If you had just told me how you felt ages ago, you could have gotten what you wanted instead of keeping it in and becoming this creepy psychopath! I demand a lawyer!”
He cackles while fully lying down on the floor, "You have no pull, sweetheart, but nice try, hah! Even your parents aren’t asking about you, hoping this all blows over and they can maintain their perfect image."
With his eyes closed, still laughing, you cage him beneath you and start to choke him. This time, he freezes and smirks up at you, "Oh, this is how you wanna play it, huh? Pretending you are furious instead of insanely turned on and hoping this ends with you knowing how I feel inside of you. Cute, really."
You scowl down at him and are about to get off of him when he roughly grabs your hips and pulls you back down onto him. "Oh no, there's no getting out of this. How does it feel finally being able to feel how excited you make me? Honestly, it feels like you are excited, too, with the wet spot you left on me."
Face flushing in embarrassment, you glance at the floor to escape his intense gaze, but all masking ability flies out of the window as soon as he bucks his hips against you, eliciting a breathy whimper from your throat.
The moment it exits your mouth, you bite your lip and try to escape his hold. Or at least you meant to...
Instead, you end up grinding against his hardening cock through both of your pants. Feeling his deep chuckle against your clit, you spasm, and he just grins as he pulls you down to attack your lips with a furiously passionate set of long-awaited kisses, entwining your tongues and both assaulting the other's lips with teasing sucks and bites.
When you finally can pull away and catch your breath, he sits up as you wobbly stand and immediately backs you into the bed with his arms on either side of your head, licking from your collarbone up to your ear lobe, enjoying you moaning his name.
That was the final straw of resolve. It snapped like the tiniest twig in your core, and an animalistic need overwhelmed you as you dug your claws into his back underneath the plain white under-uniform tee that clung to his muscles just right.
Gasping for air, you beg, “Sunoo. Please...I need you.." while trying to undress him.
He smirks while he cocks his head to the side, "You're lucky hearing you beg was my last thread of teasing you leaving. Strip for me, needy whore."
With that, you spring onto your feet like a lithe cat and strip with lightning speed, laying back on the bed with everything exposed down to your arousal-soaked lips.
You usually were shyer, but you couldn't help it after the earlier interruption, plus finding out he felt the same way. You would deal with the red flags after you came.
Staying in his simple yet sexy white tee and dark grey workout pants, he descends like a hawk. He licks a broad stripe from your pussy to your sensitive bundle of nerves, making you cry out and grip his hair to keep your soul from flying out of your body too rapidly.
Immediately, you trap his neck between your thighs, not letting him weasel his way away and tease you for a second more.
He picks up on your neediness, and tongue fucks your velvety cunt whilst moaning into you, letting any insecurity of smelling or tasting weird disappear without a trace.
Rising up on his elbows, he makes a show of licking his lips, leaving his chin shiny with your pleasure, and makes his way up your body so you can taste yourself off of him as he makes circles with his thumb on your growingly sensitive clit.
Feeling your high about to crash upon you, you exhale, "Sunoo, I'm about to." Yet, before you can finish your sentence, he shoves you off of the edge by taking your plump breast into his mouth and matching the pace of his fingers with his tongue around your nipple.
As you cum, he disappears between your thighs again, not wanting to waste a single drop (or leave any evidence) while continuing to squeeze and slap your tits. When he can feel you are getting close again, he quickly makes space between your bodies, causing you to sit up and dig your nails into his thighs, making him moan loudly.
Then he adds salt to the wound by lightly slapping your pussy, making you squirt for the first time all over the bottom of his shirt and dick print.
Straddling him now that he is fully erect is torturous; while you nibble along his neck and behind his ear, you ask, “C’mon Sunoo, I need to feel you in me...please.”
Throwing his head back to allow you to kiss more of his neck, he just smirks and says, “Well, someone is needy tonight...well, you have been such a good little thing for me, I will grant your wish, pretty. First, you have to get up so I can get out of these damp clothes”.
Feeling bold, you raise up just enough to pull down his pants along with his boxers and then straddle him again while he sits up and removes his shirt while kissing and playing with your perfect tits.
After you give him your adorable yet seductive pleading eyes, he stops wasting time. He flips you onto your back again and, with utmost sincerity and care in his eyes, says, “You ready? Stop me if it hurts, okay? I really do care about you.”
Tears welling in your eyes, you nod and subtly pull his hips closer to you. You have liked him for a long time, and despite all of the nasty lust that has occurred tonight, it was weirdly healing at the same time.
He slowly slides the tip in, and after a few seconds, you surprisingly quickly can let him quicken his thrusts and go even deeper, both uttering sensual guttural noises in unison as soon as he bottoms out.
You notice him blush and quirk your eyebrow this time asking what is going on. He looks to the side then admits,” Well, this feels amazing, like even better than I’ve imagined, and I know that sounds cliché, but trust me...that’s a big deal. And well, I don’t think I’ll last much longer, sadly; I want to, but...yeah, sorry..”
Latching your ankles around his hips, you just bite your lips and eyefuck him as a green light, to which he gives you a deep, caring kiss as he slowly hits that sweet spot inside you, resulting in a simultaneous orgasm with the both of you collapsing in sweet bliss.
He cannot stay around too long, or the guard headquarters will get suspicious, but he lingers as long as he can while he tries to rinse out your delicious scent from his clothing.
You have the best sleep that night and are oddly comforted by someone caring that much. You are at peace knowing there are mutual feelings and hoping y'all can date normally once you are released.
Until you are released (about a week later), Sunoo frequently visits your cell of solitude because he is the only guard who can "handle" you. Over time, you become closer and decide that you will finally pursue a healthy relationship once you are free, and he will not have to stalk you anymore.
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the-greatest-magic-of-all · 4 hours ago
Note
“SIRE!” Ick shrieked as he practically threw himself out of the carriage’s window as soon as it stopped. Kicking up dust as he scrambled to Riz’s side, careful not to accidentally overshoot and fly through the portal.
“Ugh,” Riz couldn’t help but groan. Yeah, he should’ve expected a last-ditch effort to get him to stay. Turning to a bent-over, panting Ick, Riz crossed his arms and bluntly asked, “What now?”
Once he’d caught most of his breath, Ick pushed himself to stand upright. Readjusting his robes before settling his hands behind his back in tight fists. “Your Majesty, I implore you to listen to reason. You simply cannot leave us.”
“It’s actually very simple,” Riz shot back, trying not to let pure frustration drip from his every word. Unbeknownst to him, his frustrations were showing in other ways. Thanks to the chaotic, primal nature of the Feywild, the rulers of its vast and varied realms held sway over everything within their domains. Including the physical world. Far up above the village of Bugbarrow, dark clouds began to form and swirl. “My job here is done, so I am leaving. End of story.”
“B-but without a King present—”
Nope! That’s it! Riz is done playing nice. “Fine, Ick! I’ll give you a King!” He muttered as he set his briefcase down in order to yank the Sword of Shadows from it. Unsheathing it in one fluid movement, the shadows curled and twisted around his hand as Riz looked Ick dead in his eyes and said, “I challenge you to take the Crown from me.”
A wave of pure yet nigh invisible magic erupted from Riz’s form, surging out in a wave until it reached every corner of the Goblin Court. The King had declared a duel. The air buzzed with arcane anticipation. Every Goblin that wasn’t already outside and/or keeping an eye on the leaving brides quickly made their way out. None of them dared to go closer than needed, but none wanted to miss this.
Royal Advisor Sir Ick, for his part, flinched as The Sword of Shadows was drawn, but he stood his ground. “Sire,” He said slowly, his voice low and his face stony as he shook his head. “My answer is the same as it was several days ago. I will do no such thing.”
Almost all at once, the arcane energy of the duel was dispelled. Riz groaned. Fine! (The storm up above crackled with lightning.) He didn’t need this stubborn bastard to rid himself of this stupid title. “Well! Then—” Riz turned away from Ick and toward the audience that had gathered in the village’s square. Throwing his arms open, he raised his voice as he said, “—I challenge anyone here to take the Crown from me!”
Another duel declared, the magic surging out once again. Air buzzing with anticipation as thunder rumbled from the clouds overhead. Only… Not a single person spoke up. Riz’s eyes darted around the group of about hundred and twenty or so Goblins that all stared back at him with looks of amusement, defiance, or, worse yet, pity. There wasn’t even a foolish, spitfire teen that volunteered just for the hell of it. What in the actual—
“Seriously? Come on, folks! Free crown? Fancy castle? Ultimate power?” Riz asked, feeling like a cheap car salesman as he offered up things that people have literally killed for. “No one?!”
Fabian (who got his name back on the way here) could barely keep his laughter to himself. Slapping a hand over his mouth once, Riz picked up on it and whipped around to glare at him. “What? Don’t get mad at me!” Fabian whined from where he was posted up near the still-open portal. “Seems like everyone here is just as fond of all of that King business as you are.”
“You are not helping,” Riz hissed, even though he knew there wasn’t much Fabian could actually do. The best he could do would be to take the title from him. And there was no world where Riz would leave his friend behind in this place. No matter how much he’d love it. Dragging a hand down his face, Riz tightened his grip on his sword as he (reluctantly) tapped into the vast pool of magic the title of Goblin King provided him. To the end of making sure that his voice was heard all throughout the realm, “To the entirety of the Goblin Court and every Fey within it, I challenge any of you to take this Crown from me!”
A third duel declared, this time with enough magic sent out to the farthest reaches so that any who accepted Riz’s challenge could teleport to him as soon as they did so.
And yet…
Nothing.
You’ve got to be kidding.
How bad could the last Kings have possibly been that every last soul within the Court agreed that their best bet was a seventeen-year-old sleepless detective who regularly takes vitamin gummies and whose first best friend may very well be his client?
Surely, they could do better?!
Tiptoeing back over to where Riz had gone silent as he stared down at his feet, Ick quietly tried to begin with, “Sire—”
“Sir Ick,” Riz cut him off. Eyes still focused on his old, leather briefcase kid shoes, but his voice was as grim as a grave. His family had done their damndest to escape this place; there was no way in the Great Wheel that he was getting trapped here again. Lightning crackled overhead as he locked eyes with Ick and quietly said, “Unless someone in the next few moments challenges me for the Crown, I will call upon anyone in the Feywilds to come and take it from me.”
“Wait! Please,” Ick said, his hands fluttering about as if he wanted to grab Riz, but, unlike Drezza, he did not have the nonchalantness to do so. “Your Majesty, for not only our sake but I’m sure your Mother’s, who I would assume would not wish for you to die so brutally, don’t.”
“Is that what you’re all worried about?” Riz asked, lifting his head with furrowed brows, some of the clouds dissipating into rain somewhere else. By the Gods, why would they think—“I’m planning on conceding after a few rounds of combat. You don’t have to kill me. No one does.”
Ick shook his head. “Yes, they do. A living loser of a Crown Contest will not be tolerated.”
A bit less jovial now that death was on the table, Fabian pushed off of the hut he’d been leaning on to walk over. Grimacing, he raised his hand as he caught Ick’s gaze and asked, “Now, by ‘not be tolerated,’ you mean?”
“I mean that if his Majesty is revived after losing, the victor will likely not take kindly to it and will seek to kill him permanently,” Ick explained as a mumbly chorus of agreeance sounded from the audience of Goblins still around them. He turned back to Riz with a solemn look as he went on, “And I assure you, since no one within the Court is willing to fight you, the victor will want you dead and buried for good.”
Crouching down next to Riz’s sagging form, Fabian winced and muttered, “That’s a rough one, Detective.”
“Thanks for the fantastic colour commentary, Fabes,” Riz said tonelessly before he collapsed to sit on the ground. Yes, it was undignified, but he couldn’t give less of a shit about any of that. Sword across his lap, head in his hands, and words muffled, Riz asked, “If I die by other means, will the crown still belong to me?”
Clearing his throat, Ick did what he did best. “I assume you are planning to be revived promptly? If so, then yes, you will still be King since the title is linked to your soul. Of course, you could chance waiting for a usurper to come and take the title while you’re deceased, but you’d risk said usurper taking too long.” And having to find and pay someone to cast True Resurrection on him. Ugh, fuck all of this Fey bullshit! “See, you can’t leave, Sire. As I’ve said, we need a King or else—”
“The Court ceases to function,” Riz droned, imitating Ick’s precise and persnickety inflections. Scowling up at his Advisor with his chin in his hand, he asked, “Why is that exactly?”
“Oh, well, you see…” Ick began, adjusting his glasses, before he launched into what Riz had to assume was a complete and total list of all of the King’s bureaucratic, courtly, and arcane responsibilities. Riz managed to keep up while Fabian zoned out almost immediately. He couldn’t blame him.
The list Ick was laying out before him was mind-numbingly long and convoluted. Sure, there was stuff in there about governing and shit, but there was also his duty to host diplomats for as long as what felt right(?!) and the need to oversee and approve court appointments and new court members. It was all too much for one mortal to do! Hell, he’s not even sure an Archfey could pull this off!
Wait… If it’s too much for one person to do… But then how would he get them to agree to that…? Oh! Well… If Fey bullshit got him into this mess, then perhaps it could get him out of it.
The clouds began to slowly part.
“FINE!” Riz shouted, interrupting Ick’s absurdly long list as he shot to his feet. With a renewed energy, he sheathed and packed up the Sword of Shadows, stood up straight and asked, “How about a bargain?”
Riz could feel the pique of interest not only in Ick but also everyone around them, including Fabian. Who kept crouching as he smirked and arched a brow at him.
Ick, who’d been a bit put out for being interrupted, furrowed his brows in thought for a couple of moments before straightening up himself. A nod, “I’m listening.”
Perfect.
Hands kept loosely behind his back, Riz innocently asked, “How many boroughs would you say the Court has?”
“Twelve, your Majesty.”
Riz took a deep breath, settling himself the best he could before he began, “Perfect, each of them will hold a free and fair election to elect a leader of said borough, which we’ll call a Minister. They will lead and make decisions on behalf of everyone in their district and congregate… two seasons a year, let’s say Spring and Fall, in Hornhallow to discuss bureaucratic choices for the whole Court.”
Oh, yeah, baby!
Guess who’s getting democracy forced onto them!
The sounds of confused and slightly alarmed words and worry shared throughout the surrounding Goblins grew louder and louder the longer Riz went on. But no outright objections, so Riz would take it. Ick did attempt to raise a finger to interject, but Riz quickly shot him down. “I’m not done! All twelve of them will be led and managed by a Prime Minister, whose main job is to oversee the entire Court and bring up only the most important and pressing matters to the King. And guess what, Ick?”
“What?” Wide owlish eyes stared at him in… wonder? Horror? Both? Riz didn’t know, but it felt good to see all the same.
“I’m looking for an outstanding candidate for Prime Minister who already knows his way around the Court’s intricate bureaucracy,” Riz said with a crazed smile and wild eyes. “I hereby delegate all of my responsibilities and duties to be distributed between the Ministers and you, the Prime Minister. However, if need be, I will have the final say on any issue they bring to me and reserve the full right to veto anything or anyone I desire.” Sticking out a hand toward Ick as bright beams of sunlight burst through the cloud cover, revealing a beautiful blue sky, Riz asked, “Do we have a deal?”
Check fuckin’ mate!
Ick was left more than a bit stunned by his Majesty’s not-quite-trick. But he wasn’t ranting and raving at being forced to take on more work. Hell, stunned might not even be the right word now that Riz thought about it. He was just simply quiet. Head hung low, claws fidgeting, tail pensively swaying back and forth. Riz watched as thoughts raced through the Advisor’s mind, and the Goblins of Bugbarrow held their breath, all of them waiting for Ick’s answer.
After a few more moments of quiet, Ick raised his head, held up a finger and asked, “Will all arcane powers and responsibilities still entirely lie with you?”
Huh. Not a rebuttal. But a clarification.
Hope bloomed in Riz’s chest as he thought about Ick’s question. If he couldn’t give away all of his duties, there were worse ones than wielding the magic of this place and having to deal with defending the title from usurpers every so often. In addition to signing some papers and acting as a figurehead. Plus, that meant he got to keep the cool shadow sword! Perhaps this King thing wouldn’t be so bad.
A genuine smile growing on his face, Riz gave Ick a nod as he said, “Yes, I’ll—”
Before he could finish, Ick quickly clasped their hands together, “Deal!”
With that one word, the arcane foundations of the Goblin Court shook. From within their clasped hands, motes and streaks of light and colours erupted out in nigh blinding brilliance. And just like that, the world was different.
As Riz, who felt instantly lighter and freer than he had in a couple of days, caught Ick’s gaze and asked, “You gonna be alright?”
Ick smiled at him and shrugged, “What’s a little more hard work?”
Shaking on it one last time, Prime Minister Ick gave Riz a bow before he bid the people of Bugbarrow good day and left in the carriage in a hurry to get those elections up and running. Riz gave him a little salute as the carriage passed him by before turning to Fabian and sighing with relief.
“Well done, Detective,” Fabian said, smiling (what Riz would later look back on and realize was a lovestruck smile) as he ruffled Riz’s curls. “Ready to go home?”
Leaving a mini offering for when you awaken - Thanks for chatting with me while work has been boring me to death :3
----------------------
Fae Wilds
Fabian flinched his hand away when Riz swatted at his fingers, the goblins hand connecting with his knuckles with a stinging crack since he wasn’t pulling his punches. Not anymore. The creature that had tried to hand Fabian a strange piece of fruit snarling at the goblin and earning a venomous hiss from the detective in response before it skuttled up the tree and out of sight into the canopy.
“Just because someone is handing you something doesn’t mean you have to take it.” Riz took a calming breath, rubbing at the bridge of his nose under his glasses before resettling them on his face properly. “In fact, put your hands in your pockets. Please.”
The goblin had needed to explain this to Fabian six times already but the Fae Wilds tended to make most people who weren’t native a little vague at the best of times. He wasn’t mad at his friend, not really, he was just kind of wishing he hadn’t let the half elf invite himself on this little mission in the name of ‘watching Riz’s back’ for him. Sure, adventuring with a partner was much more enjoyable than going solo like he usually did but gods was it stressful when he had to keep an eye on Fabian the entire time. If he’d known Fabians human heritage would cause this much of a handicap on his resistance to the confusing influence of this realm he wouldn’t have let him come at all.
This excursion wasn’t in relation to Fabians case anyway, the leads on that one having run dry a while ago, but Riz still had bills to pay and the half elf was fine with him taking other clients in the meantime. They were in the Fae Wilds searching for information, the detectives current client swearing that his daughter had run off with a member of some fairy court and wanting to know where they’d gone. When Riz had gone through his daughters things he’d had to agree, some of the items and letters she’d left behind faintly humming with traces of magic from this realm when he’d checked them over.
So here they were, just the two of them, trying to find someone they could get information out of without trading away something irreplaceable. Riz had gotten a few leads from some of the less dangerous creatures in the area and had been verifying some of it with another when he heard Fabian speaking with someone behind him. The goblin having to whirl around quickly to smack Fabian on the leg to stop him from saying his name to a beautiful, naked woman that looked like they were carved out of a still living tree. Riz narrowing his eyes and baring his teeth when they ran a flirty finger under Fabian’s chin before giggling and wandering away into the forest around them.
“Oh, sorry The Ball. You were trying to get my attention?” Fabian had stared wistfully after the retreating figure until they were impossible to spot among the foliage, the half elf making a choked noise when Riz reached up to grab him by the collar of his jacket and yank him down to the goblins eye level.
“Stop. Saying. Your. Name. and REALLY stop saying your FULL name. Even if they don’t want to steal it they can do some pretty horrible stuff to you if you’re not careful.”
“Ah. Right. Sorry. Force of habit.” Fabian grinned, happy to let the goblin manhandle him around if he wanted to even though it would be very easy to resist. It meant he got to look at his face up close, even if his brows were knitted together in a frown and his ears were pinned back in a way he knew meant he was upset or worried.
“Fuck, okay. I know you’re having issues remembering all this because of-“ Riz let go of his collar with one hand to gesture vaguely around the pair of them, indicating the fae wild at large. “-but it’s going to cause problems if you keep doing that. So. Give me your name.”
“Hmm? Okay, It’s…” The half elf frowned, his own ears drooping slightly while his eye darted, unfocused, from side to side as he tried to think. “I don’t… why can’t I remember?”
“Oh, good. Excellent. I still remember it so that worked.” Riz let go of his collar, pressing their foreheads together in a brief nuzzle before stepping way from him. “You gave me your name. I’ll give it back once we go home but at least I can keep it safe for you until we do. For now you’ll just have to go by… I dunno. Maximum Legend until we leave.”
Now that a creature of this realm had control of the half-elfs name hopefully it would have the duel effect of helping to clear his mind somewhat. Maximum Legend, for his part, was doing an excellent impression of a stunned fish. Mouth hanging open slightly as he stayed crouched in the position Riz had left him in.
“That’s���. what the fuck The Ball? How in the Nine Hells did you even do that?”
“I am a creature of many talents.”
The half-elf scoffed in response but didn’t argue, standing back up to his full height and following along behind Riz as he started walking again.
It's always a delight to chat with you, and it's one of my favourite things to do! Thank you for this gift. Here's a little something in return, pulled from some of our recent chats.
---
Maximum Legend—ugh, he couldn’t believe Riz was throwing that one drunken night on Leviathan in his face—kept a hand on the hilt of his blade as he stood back to back with Riz as several masked goblins surrounded them. They’d been on their way through a forest of trees as tall as skyscrapers with thick and colourful underbrush. Following their only lead regarding the location of Riz’s client’s daughter, Sarah. Up until they’d been ambushed, of course.
He’d been ready for a fight, but he felt Riz hesitate at the same time he did, thanks to giving their attackers a second look over. Rusty pitchforks, worn sickles, and recently repaired spears. Masks made up of ripped fabric and threadbare work clothes covered with patchwork leather armour. If they were bandits, they had only just started out, but something told them that these people weren’t even that.
Riz glanced at Maximum Legend to make sure they were on the same page before he called out to one of the goblins in Gukliak. Maximum could only follow parts of the back and forth that occurred. He could surmise that Riz had asked the troupe if they’d seen a Halfling girl running around with a member of one of the nearby Courts.
For a moment, the goblins looked shifty about it, but Riz… insisted that her father only wanted to know that she was safe and bring her home if she wasn’t. A bit of conferring between the troupe and another quick exchange with Riz before they lowered their weapons. Giving them both a nod to follow.
The troupe of goblins kept them close as they led them through the forest toward a small village by a winding creek. Small farms on the outskirts of it with farmers tending to strange beasts and even stranger crops. Little houses and shops were built into the massive ivied tree trunks or carved out of giant moss-covered boulders. A village square with a tall pole wrapped in colourful ribbons and flowers that goblin villagers pass by and congregate at to stare at him and Riz as they’re led deeper into the settlement.
Eventually they are led to a hollowed out giant tree stump where the missing daughter, Sarah, a young ravenhaired Halfling woman sat in a garden of tall grass and wildflowers, playing a guitar for a hoard of young goblins. It was a sweet sight to watch for a moment or two. But sooner than later, one of the kits noticed their and their guides’ presences and a whirlwind of chaos erupted.
Sarah stopped strumming, sitting up alarmed as some of the kits raced towards a couple of the goblins who guided them here—their parents, obviously. While others, the ones on the older side stayed and began to swarm Sarah as if they could hide her with their bodies. And that is nothing to say of a matronly Goblin woman bursting out of the stump and rushing to put herself in front of Sarah and the kits as she hissed at the guides and the outsiders.
Maximum watched as Riz lowered his ears in submission to her obvious authority in this place as he began to speak to her slowly in Gukliak. At first, she wasn’t having it; not even some nudging from their guides was enough for her to let them come any closer. But luckily, Sarah was far more willing to humour them.
Slithering out of the pile of kits, she threw her guitar over her shoulder as she walked over to the Goblin matron to put a hand on her shoulder. Telling her that they most likely weren’t here on the Goblin King’s orders. She recognized their clothing; they were from her home plane. Here to rescue her. Sarah smiles at them and tells them that Drezza is just worried about her because she sees her stolen daughter in her, that’s all. She’s happy to talk to them and explain what happened to her.
You see, Sarah Timbersage had been having a really tough time at college, at her dead-end job and at home and… she’d met a guy. Handsome, almost too good-looking for words. Elven, she’d guessed at first, but he’d been light on the details. They’d exchanged letters, back and forth; old fashioned, but she’d liked it. He’d said that she could come live with him, that he’d take care of her, and she’d want for nothing…
As the fifth daughter of eight children, it was an enticing offer. Believable, too, he’d given her a beautiful necklace as if it were nothing. She hadn’t even realized she’d been enthralled until she was deep in the Feywild, within the Castle of the Goblin King. Who, she’d quickly realized, was only going to add her to a collection of “brides” he kept as a testament to his power. Including Drezza’s daughter, Pollina, though Sarah hadn't known that then. Only by pure luck did she manage to escape the fortress and disappear into the forest surrounding it.
Sarah doesn’t know how long she wandered, but one morning, after spending the night hidden in a rotted log, she was found by some of Drezza’s children. The sweet things had realized that she was not only hungry and thirsty, but also the mortal woman the Goblin King had sent scouts to find.
Now, you have to understand. Within the Goblin Court, you’d be hard-pressed to find a soul that actually revered or even liked their King. Hell, they hadn’t particularly liked their last dozen Kings! Might makes Right in the Court of Goblins, so one of the most popular ways for anyone to gain power is to kill a more powerful being than themselves and assume their title.
The worst thing is? It's an arcane issue. It doesn't matter if the courtiers and subjects of the Court despise whoever holds the title of Goblin King, no matter how this so-called King drags their Court’s reputation through the mud unless one of them can defeat him? There's nothing they can do to strip the Court-given powers from him. As much as they hated to admit it, the current Goblin King was very powerful.
And if the smoke signal from the outermost of the village's farms was correct, he was on his way here.
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whoslaurapalmer · 1 year ago
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local woman buys horror game, bypassing that it says horror and she typically doesn't really vibe with horror just because the graphics looked cool, plays said horror game at night and becomes increasingly concerned about the serial killer noises the dishwasher is making in the other room
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aaarkhamknight · 2 months ago
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Just some cute brotherly bonding between Jason and Damian 🥰
2019 Batman Vol. 2, Arkham Knight
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shima-draws · 1 year ago
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God gives his toughest battles (being at work DESPERATELY wanting nothing more than to be at home playing the new Genshin Fontaine update) to his bravest soldiers (me)
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moeblob · 7 months ago
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You literally spent three hours having an ENTIRE SCHOOL (teachers included) slut-shaming a guy just for him to be a (spoiler).
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pixelatedraindrops · 7 months ago
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Yuma Month: Day 20: Truth
The truth…is uglier than you could have ever expected.
tw // vomit (spoilers too)
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...happens only if he ate a meat bun prior to this
(all vomit in rain code is censored in pink glitter ✨)
based on this post I made long back
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gxlden-angels · 1 year ago
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Bro I hate fundamentalists and culturally-fundie parents they'll say shit like "spare the rod spoil the child am I right haha yea my parents used to have to beat my ass with a switch almost everyday but I sure did learn my lesson" but like??? no you didn't??? you were hit multiple times for something you very obviously did not, in fact, learn
Like studies about how harmful even lightly spanking children is aside, you're literally contradicting yourself?? Some even admitted they got worse as they got older cause they wanted to see how far they could push their parents before they got punished
And studies not aside, you're gonna get child raising advice from the same book that tells you to stone your wife if her hymen doesn't break on your wedding night instead of the decades of research we have now?? Just say you're a bad parent and move on my guy. Skill issue
#bro I had a coworker go 'unpopular opinion I think some kids really do need beatings' and I'm like????#unprompted???? what's going on there????#well anyways I ended up going 'yea so I plan on specializing in play therapy with autistic children so I've been learning about talking#to children and the ways their parents and environment affects them'#and they're like hmmm but beating this kid with a stick after they broke something or I upset them to the point of yelling is good actually#had a boss say it taught him and his kids respect cause they were hard-headed#and I'm like?? that's fear not respect! they fear punishment! they do not act out of respect for you!#he's a conservative christian black man tho so he's like 'But Authority!' like bro I don't even respect you what are you on about#'You don't respect police and their authority?' Nope! I fear them! I do not respect cops and every cop/cop-adjacent person I personally know#has reinforced that for me#'We'll agree to disagree' Cool! Doesn't mean you're not wrong! I could believe trees aren't real but that is in fact incorrect#then he pulled out the bible verse and I was like ah okay I forgot you like 'here's how to treat slaves' book you're so right bestie#I'm totally wrong now and so sorry for doubting you and your 2000+ year old book I don't believe in <3#They'd go 'well I turned out fine!' then say something that directly contradicts that#anyways I need christians to get their grubby little hands off the current state of Child Protection and Rights in the U.S.#So we can actually start working on helping kids without the force of christian hands suffocating them#cause homeschooling and child raising by evangelicals are so fucked up bro I'm tired of this shit#I'd only stay in my current state to help children get out of that cycle since I'm in the bible belt#ex christian#religious trauma#child abuse tw
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1960z · 3 months ago
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what the fuck is wrong with him
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spacedlexi · 5 months ago
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the post about the mirrors between the Kenny & Jane fight and the Minnie & Clem fight just reminds me of all the similarities between Violet and Kenny. like obviously they’re different characters, I just find it interesting how they share so many traits (being very loyal, may or may not sustain an eye injury, like fishing even if one is rod fishing and the other is spear fishing). there’s some more similarities I forgot to mention but I’ve been patiently waiting for someone to draw Violet and Kenny fishing wearing “women love me, fish fear me” hats or something.
oh yeah, ALSO. they both have moments where you can fight them and calm them down (Kenny on the train, Violet in the ending where you didn’t save her).
this is just so interesting! wish other people acknowledged it.
anon unknowingly unlocking my beef with kenny defenders who hate violet
vi was one of the first characters for me where i realized that a female character can have all the traits people will defend in their favorite male character(s) and yet theyll still find a way to absolutely despise her for some reason
kennys #1 defense is that him losing his family is what drove him to the brink and its soooo understandable for him to act out the way he does (brutally killing people, abusive even if it comes from a place of wanting to protect "his group"). but violet, who acts the way she does (isolationist loner) because.... she lost her family... is a disloyal bitch for some reason 😐 even while shes nothing but loyal to clem regardless of choice (people are quick to defend louis' actions in ep 2 as well and his behavior never makes Him disloyal for some reason 😐 "he lost his best friend!" and vi lost her best friends/gf because of marlon so?), and only has a lapse in judgement after you (determinately) "betray" her 💀 AND she apologizes for it if you do!!
if nothing about violet changed besides her pronouns the fandom reception to her would be so dramatically different and i refuse to believe otherwise
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setaflow · 9 months ago
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So I saw (2our)dust last night and I had a thought
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