#me (posting the last little guy): i'm gonna draw another one and i will do it in less than a year

[lemonarts]

i drew an thing, it's based on this guy of @littleguymart i made it a lil extra fancy.

watercolour + ink on paper

[charbies]

linktober 31 - HAPPY HALLOWEEN!!!

I thought for the last day I'd write a little retrospective on what this whole thing was like and what I learned. I'm too tired to draw literally anything else I'm due for a break lol

So this was my second time ever attempting a linktober/october drawing challenge, but my first time managing to complete all the days and prompts. I feel super proud of myself and accomplished for pulling it off.

There were a number of things that were surprising and that were challenging for me that I wasn't expecting this month. If anything, I think this challenge really highlighted my flaws and mental blindspots with how I approach making art.

For one thing, I came away from this not liking everything I made. I think I only like about 9 or 10 of the 30 pieces I put out there. When I don't like my art, I tend to get stuck in this mental stalemate of refusing to finish a piece until I like it, but also refusing to retrace my steps and erase/rework what I have so far for fear of losing progress or not being able to replicate the line/angle/color/etc that I liked.

It was surprisingly hard to accept when I didn't like a piece but had to move on for the sake of time and post it anyway. But once I did it a few times, it got easier. I realized prioritizing my standards over my available energy is not gonna promote progress. If I kept sinking myself into one piece and not moving on until it was optimal, I never would have finished anything-- that was the pitfall that ultimately made me bail out 10 days in last year.

I also realized my sunk cost fallacy/"what if I erase this and can never redraw it good again" stems from some real lack of confidence in my knowledge and techniques with art. I'm self-taught, and I think I tend to believe that everything I make is a dumb happy accident, even though I have mental rules when I draw, use tons of references, and have a process lol. There are a few pieces I started over 2-3 times before I got them right, and that's starting to feel liberating instead of like failing to me now, which I never expected to come out of this experience so that's cool.

Another place I had to learn to let go of control in this was with allowing for style variation. I really wanted each and every piece to be coherent and painterly, like they all came from the same book or something. But then I couldn't decide whether I wanted to do all/no lineart, all/no detailed background, all/no heavy rendering, etc. At the end I settled on just keeping the same canvas dimensions and just prioritizing filling up the space. Glad I ended up doing this, because I really would benefit from continuing to chill out and scale back how much I default to making dramatic, high-render pieces. I gotta break out of my comfort zone and make more sketchy little guys!

Sometimes my attachment to the prompts fluctuated; some prompts I thought I would love and then just wanted to get them over with. Some prompts I thought I would hate and subsequently half-ass, then I ended up redoing them and putting more effort & time into and loved the end result!

It was funny to also see how some pieces that I loved straight up did not get a whole lot of notes or attention. Some pieces I was "meh" about did crazy numbers lol. I'm used to posting maybe 5-6 times a year on here, so I'm usually indifferent to getting notes (by which I mean, I'm super grateful for likes & reblogs and the super sweet & funny messages in y'alls tags, but I'm not butthurt when I don't get notes because whatever happens, happens). Churning out 30 pieces in 30 days made me sometimes get bewildered by what did and didn't get notes, but frankly in the end I think it helps reaffirm that I should continue putting whatever I want out there because it! is! not! graded!!!

So would I do Linktober again? Probably not, sorry! it was a lot of time & effort and took me away from fall festivities more than I would have liked. I kinda only managed to pull this off because I was transitioning between jobs this month and had a week off to just draw. But I also completely see the value in taking on a challenge like this and finishing what I started, I'm super glad I did this, I think my art improved from it. I would definitely do future drawing challenges/prompt things that are quicker or have less prompts!

My advice to prospective future linktoberers: pace yourself and be gentle; this is a great chance to do something exciting and new with your art, but above all it's about you having fun. There are no prizes at the end except for what you've learned and how you feel about it, and that's for the best!!

One thing's for sure, I am zelda'd out lmao so I'll be branching out towards some little projects I have lined up for personal art and other fandoms I'm into right now

So anyway thanks to all of you who read this or who gassed me up this whole month, I appreciate you!!!!!!!! ヾ(＾∇＾)

[hestzhyen]

Chapter 61 Deadbeat Posting

Hello, kind void. Let's get into it, shall we?

Bad TL of editor's notes:

First page: 交差する思惑-!! [kouki suru omowaku-!!] Intersecting motives-!! Last page: 座村の娘, 一般社会に紛れて... [Samura no musume, ippan shakai ni magirete...] Samura's daughter, blending in with the general public...

What is Going On?!

So, uh... is there a Maury or Dr. Phil in the Kagurabachi universe? Wait, no, let's start with the best part of the chapter:

lmao

THANK YOU for this little breather. It's still not enough but seeing Chihiro get babied by his new ninja maids is fucking hilarious. They really do just swoop in and take care of whoever their charge is- no wonder Samura put his foot down early on with them. Would have been the perfect time to learn their names too, but Hokazono-sensei must have a deadly allergy to names in text boxes.

If we're gonna be spending quality time with these guys, shouldn't we know who they are though? This isn't a Bandana or Ice Lady scenario; they're sticking around for at least the rest of this Samura-specific mini arc and interacting with Chihiro directly. If it's commentary on how they see themselves as tools, that's one thing. But I think this is just more of the same stinginess from the author considering we got a different name drop at the end of the chapter. I guess we shouldn't expect to keep seeing them after a certain point? I swear, if we have to wait for more volume extras to get these guys' names despite spending a good chunk of an arc with them...

Prep those zombie AU fics/fan arts

Welp, there's no doubt about it now- Uruha's actual status is yet another dangling thread that will be followed up on eventually. Let's toss it on the pile with all the rest.

Got some interesting lore implications about how the Lifelong Contract with the bearer of the blade might affect their body too thanks to this. I'm honestly more interested in that bit of information than anything else from this scenario, since we are still lacking on a lot of particulars about the nature of entering a contract with these swords.

I'm not really mentally prepared for whatever's happening to Uruha himself; if he's alive, I will be mad that I got jebaited and call hax like the petty baby I am. If his corpse is being used in unethical experiments... I do love me some horror but I will be Very Sad and Upset that it happened to Uruha. He deserves some dignity after what Samura did to him. No matter what though, the Kamunabi are doing some dastardly shit in secret right now, so... hooray one more thing we have to sit tight and wait to learn about.

So... is the general public OK with giant owl eyes darkening the skies 24/7 all across Japan? Maybe we're not meant to think too hard about this and just accept that it's happening because it looks cool. It's fun to imagine Samura brooding on some rooftop, waiting to use Crow to teleport to the first Enchanted Blade signal he detects though. Just like a ping! ZOOP! murder time! kinda thing.

Questions about Chihiro's contract to Enten aside for now (like so many others), if he can't even draw the sword without summoning a raid boss then how is he going to fight? Not something I think we'll have to wait too long to see so I'm actually looking forward to the next set of action scenes to see how Chihiro defends himself (with the Masumi's help). I hope it comes with some lore about how the contract works too but that could also come from whatever's going on with Uruha so I won't be pinning all my hopes on Chihiro here. He's got enough burdens already- and is about to add one more by acting as a bodyguard to an unassuming high school girl.

Infinite Aura Loss

"Call up one of those trashy daytime talk shows ASAP."

So... rather than deal with the Samura problem with all the stuff we've got set up already, we get yet more complications by revealing that not only did Samura have a daughter, he had straight sex at least once. And was even married before becoming a divorcee deadbeat dad who "killed" his daughter instead of trying to work things out. Damn this guy has issues.

Three years ago is when the Kamunabi rounded up all the Bearers into the Shame Boxes (sanso) after Kunishige's death- maybe this was the turning point for Samura. Based on the wording it's not like Samura's the only one who had loved ones to consider; he just chose the nuclear option and asked his ninja maids to set his daughter free from him for some reason. Useless to speculate until we hear it from the man himself but damn. Cutting your child out of your life so completely that she forgets you exist (and vice-versa!) is a bit harsh isn't it? She's going to have some serious bullshit to deal with very soon. Way to do all the wrong things out of guilt buddy. Did you at least keep up with the child support payments?

Mutton Chops not having any qualms about using an innocent girl as a pawn to get to Samura speaks volumes about why Samura didn't want her involved though. This org is not getting any praise for doing the right thing when we finally learn about them.

I'm not sure I like this development but it gets put into the "wait and see" category like so many other things have at this point. Hokazono's delivered pretty consistently so far so I'll give him the benefit of the doubt that there will be good payoffs for complicating things even further. Honestly? As long as this mini arc ends with more questions answered than asked, I'll be content.

Look, typical shounen fanservice! Kind of!

But of course we got a shitton of new questions about how this masking sorcery works, how they're gonna find her if no one can recognise her as Samura's child, what else the Kamunabi might have done with these powers at their disposal, if the Masumi did this on the down-low or if the Kamunabi also knew, and why the heck does Ms. Masumi have so many different types of sorcery she can do anyway? Transport, technique recovery, now hiding identities! I gotta learn why these ninjas can do so many things that seem to contradict the established rule of "one sorcery per person unless you're special enough to have two". Are the Masumi our gateway into learning about sorcery applications beyond one's innate abilities, such as channeling spirit energy into special objects designed for a purpose like the barriers Shiba configured to protect the Rokuhiras? Or is Ms. Masumi's ability something along the lines of being able to manipulate ink/inscriptions to invoke different effects? I'm going crazy...

I think I'll have an easier time if I just sit back and accept that a lot of things are going to happen because of the cool factor instead of any deep logic. It's not fair to the author, I know, but it's the only way I can keep my sanity right now. I'll be really happy if the doubts get shoved back in my face though.

War Orphan Society?

We didn't need to meet you guys yet either!

Hiruhiko's recovering offscreen so we get different folks collected by John for the Hishaku's PoV this time. Wonder how long they'll stick around before they get murked.

Kuguri (久々李) is the only name we got this chapter. 久 (ku) means ancient, a long time, or to remain unchanged. The intentions could be conveying a long and happy life, patience/perseverance, or just a name that will never sound out-of-date. 李 (ri) means plum tree, judge, official, or jailer for resilience/strength or justice and fairness (々 is just a kanji repetition marker). I'll go with [ancient plum tree] because it's cool! But obviously I'm not at all trustworthy on this so it's best to be sceptical.

We don't know the girl's name yet, but she's definitely a tomboy of some kind since she uses the male personal pronoun 僕 [boku]. I think she's actually the first one to use it in the whole series since most of the guys use 俺 (ore)- even Mr. Inazuma. The only exception I caught skimming through to check was Kyora (he used 私 [watashi], the polite pronoun for all genders). At any rate, hooray two more Hishaku members... we only have one or two left to reveal from the core group now. John Hiruhiko Kuguri Hatshaku Jane Samurai Worst Jeanist Tomboy (maybe) shadowy guy in the crazy subspace from ch. 7 ???

Another week of new Hishaku info, another week of waiting for the big Seitei War lore drops. I jokingly referred to this section with war orphans, but what if they really are? The Hishaku have deep resentment of some kind towards the Kamunabi -the government itself- and seem to be on hard times based on the state of their hideout. A lot of the members we've met seem young and disaffected too. Seems like more evidence they were on the side that lost the war to me.

Wonder how Kuguri knew Sojo and what exactly he admired about the greaseball. ...And which Bearer's blade he's got one-sided love for. My bets are on the Girl bearer but it could well be Sushi Chef or Samura too because this series loves to have men profess their deep love for other men.

I consider meeting Sushi Chef and Girl Bearer to be resolutions to a question instead of further complications because we've been waiting for information about them since they were teased in chapter 18. At the very least I want to know their names so I don't have to keep calling them Sushi Chef and Girl, y'know? Sushi Chef is probably the one we will meet next since he was conspicuously brought up last chapter... we'll see! Again! Hopefully soon.

Oh but speaking of Hiruhiko:

Look at this unhappy frog man.

Just keeping an eye out if he gets his Hishaku tattoo back or not for now...

One chapter left before the end-of-the-year magazine break, dear void; hopefully it won't leave us on a massive cliffhanger. I'm staying in it but man I would like more answers to come soon. I'm going numb from all the over-stimulation now. May this arc answer a bunch of questions before introducing many more, please and thank you, amen.

[ectohybrid]

TOGA HIMIKO HEADCANONS!!!!

from me, a very correct himiko fan :3

these are kinda sad so erm warning for that

no 1. she's intersex, specifically she has classic CAH. as someone who's intersex her childhood and the story really resonated w me so i hit her w the beam. sorry

no 2. due to being intersex she kinda feels othered from her friends. they don't really know her or what she's going through, quirk and otherwise, and it made her feel like some evil imposter already. she has always felt like the odd man out, like a wolf among sheep. it made her violently ill at times just thinking of spending time with them because she felt so bad for it. and she if she wasn't feeling bad about it, then her parents were shaming her about it as if it didn't plague her every day. girl was going through it

no 3. when she meets magne it's her first time being able to not only interact with another openly queer person but also the first time she's able to have a good girl friendship. they learn how they want to interact with femininity together, like in canon they're literally the sisters of all time. i love found family

no 4. since she wasn't able to be her true self for so long she's incredibly open about things, randomly spouting off thoughts and actions as she's doing them. this can be weird, from "i wonder if we're walking on unmarked graves right now and the dead guys are mad at us" to "i think i'm gonna poop in thirty minutes"

no 5. she loves a good horror movie, it's another thing she didn't really get to enjoy before leaving. in the league dabi of all people showed her jennifer's body and it's been her favorite movie since. she sometimes paces around in circles for a while replaying it in her head when she's stressed and can't watch it

no 6. despite her taste for blood and me drawing her eating raw meat, i don't think she'd like actual steak raw. if it's not charcoal she won't eat it. she's only eating her steak if it looks like dabi cooked it

no 7. when she still lived with her parents she had an online persona as her only release to be herself, and on there she and ochako were mooties :3 neither know that. one time himiko got online for the last time and posted "might not be on for a while, i'm sorry" and dipped. we all have that one old mootie who disappeared, she's ochako's now twice over

no 8. she likes to debate silly things, she sees debate as fun conversation and nothing personal. this has led to a ton of heated argument with the other person storming off and her standing there confused

no 9. she did have a brother, a twin brother, but her family made it nigh impossible for her to keep up with him. shigaraki, spinner, dabi, twice, they all take up the spot in her mind in different ways. she likes to watch shigaraki play games over his shoulder and not say anything till he's about to win- scares him out of his skin. he never lets her play with him though, and that's where spinner comes in. she'll play with him in the mha equivalent to cod and mario cart. dabi's that angsting brother role, and she likes to steal his jacket. he got her one that looked sorta like it, she wore it till it ruined beyond wearing, then dissected a stuffed animal and shoved inside as a keepsake. twice is a brother in the way the two naturally click in conversation, activities, everything. he'd be the twin she never had if she didn't have one

no 10. her twin is neito, the last time they ever spoke was a little interaction in public before he got into UA. she asked him if he wanted to catch up and he- out of fear of what their parents would say- ran. she didn't see him one on one like that ever again

[dbnightingale24]

Getting Lost In The Silence With You

An Emmett Lovestory

~~

~~

Surprise, and Happy Halloween!!

I just wanted to make something fluffy and loving, since I'm always giving you guys angst and despair 🙃 anywho, I hope you all enjoy this little story, I hope you're enjoying one of the best days ever, and please be safe! As always, thank you to @fuckingbyefor the amazing moldboard, and for just existing. Alright, enough of my rambling, enjoy!

Like always, Tumblr is on it's bullshit, so I'm only gonna post part of it here, and leave the link to my AO3 if you wanna read all of it.

Word Count: 15,618

Warnings: SMUT (18+ Minors DNI), Swearing, Drinking, Heartbreak, Dealing with Loss, FLUFF, Angst, Friends to Lovers, Self Doubt, A Bit of Self Loathing, uhh...I think that's it?

Song(s) That Inspired This Chapter: You Are The One I Waited For, I Knew It All Along

~~

I do not give permission/consent for my works/stories to be posted elsewhere.

~~

You keep your giggles quiet as you feel something tickling your toes.

Emmett.

‘Happy birthday,’ he smiles down at you after your eyes finally open.

This has been routine for the past three years now, and you can’t help but smile at the fact that you and Emmett have had each other to lean on. You wonder how something so beautiful came from such an ugly turn of events.

When Emmett found you, you were both wary of one another. He hadn’t meant to find you, and you hadn’t meant to find him. He stumbled across where you’d been hiding, searching for materials to stock up on. The second he found you hiding, you both pulled your guns on one another. While you were more than sure that he could see the fear in your eyes, you saw the emptiness and despair in his. Yet the longer he looked at you and the more you shook, the softer his features became.

He held a finger against his lips, a sign for you to be quiet, and slowly led you out of the closet. You warily grabbed the few of the things you had and followed him. You’re not sure why you followed him to this day.

“What were you doing there?” he asked softly, once you two had reached where he was hiding out, putting away the few supplies he was able to scrounge up on his trip.

“The same thing everyone else who’s alive is trying to do. Hiding.”

“That’s a terrible hiding spot.”

“It worked out just fine for me for the last two months.”

“Are you alone?”

Silence.

He turned around to see you standing there, eyes watering as you tried to look anywhere but at him.

You’d been alone for a year at the time. There hadn’t been anyone you’d confided in, and you didn’t find yourself wanting to know anyone. The last person in life died in your arms and you’d decided to keep to yourself from then on out. It just felt like the best idea; the safest in this world surrounded by danger.

“I don’t mean to be harsh, you just...that spot was dangerous. Even more so if you’re alone. Have a seat. Have you eaten today?”

“Don’t eat much,” you mumbled, taking a seat at his table, looking around the empty space. “I don’t hunt unless I have to.”

“I’ll get you something, just sit tight,” he told you softly. 

You looked around and saw the different drawings, a few pictures, and wondered how long it’d been since he lost everyone.

“Th-thank you,” you told him softly, pulling out a bottle of wine and setting it on the table.

Seemed like a pretty decent peace offering. 

“Where the hell did you get that?” he half smiled, coming over and picking up the bottle in admiration. 

“Some of it’s self made, others are from...before.”

“How old are you?”

“What’s the date?”

“October 31st.”

You smiled and shook your head, wiping away a few tears, “I’m 27 today.”

He offered a sympathetic smile, “happy birthday.”

And that’s how it started. You never intended on staying with him, and you’re more than sure he never meant to let you stay, but you both soon found that you enjoyed the company of each another. It’d been a long time since either of you had people in your lives, and it just felt nice to have someone around.

Even if you two didn’t say much to each other for the first few months.

Every once in a while, he’d hear you crying and sit by you, softly placing his hand over yours and you’d squeeze it softly. Other times, he’d have restless nights, tossing and turning for hours, and you’d just sit by him and take his hand until he felt at ease. In exchange of him getting food, you taught him how to make his own wine and vodka. You would share books, and every now and again you’d both go to the nearby falls together just to hear something.

This stayed a constant for months until he found you listening to your iPhone one day.

“How do you still have one of those?” he marveled, putting a plate of venison in front of you.

Deer was his specialty.

“My best friend figured out to make a battery one night,” you laughed softly. “She was drunk as shit, but real determined to make it work. She refused to lose all of the comforts from the way things used to be. It was the last gift she ever gave me. I’m not the best when it comes to things like that, so I try not to use it often. I don’t wanna end up breaking it and being fucked,” you finished with a scoff as you pressed ‘pause’ and set it aside.

“What’s special about today?”

“It’s Christmas Eve.”

“Explains why it’s so damn cold,” he muttered, and you laughed softly. “Anything good on there?”

“Depends on what your definition of good is,” you smirked, pouring the both of you a cup of wine. “Being a Jersey girl, there’s a lot of Springsteen on there-”

“You’re from Jersey?” he questioned before he realized he cut you off, “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to...”

“No, it’s okay. We’ve never talked about it. Um yeah, I was born and raised in New Jersey. My parents moved to Millbrook after I went off to college. I was here visiting when...when everything happened. Got stuck,” you chuckled humorlessly. “At least I don’t have to worry about paying off my college loans,” you muttered as you cut up your deer and Emmett laughed.

It was the first time you’d actually heard him laugh.

~~

You can read the rest here.

taglist: @autumnrose40

[streamafterlaughter]

Fundamental Differing

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nav | chapter XXI | masterlist | playlist | pin board

Chapter XXII: Blood Sugar Sex Magik

tags/warnings (spoilers below the cut!): MDNI 18+ ONLY! angst, drama, confession, tension, ALL YOUR FAVORITES! rockstar!eddie x rockstar!reader, afab!gnc!reader, mentions of reader being bisexual. dual pov

a/n: buckle up people it’s a doozy. i think you’ll like it though.

cw: unprotected p in v, oral (afab receiving), graphic content not meant for people under 18. MDNI, NSFW.

a/n: haha. hey. hi guys. sorry for all that waiting… i hope it was worth it. This chapter is a little different, no prologue flashback, one scene instead of multiple. Decided this deserved its own chapter. a nice lil mindless sex scene for your reading pleasure. thanks SO SO MUCH for reading, and for your patience!

Disclaimer: i do not give permission to repost my work, please let me know if you see my writing posted anywhere else. reblogs welcome and encouraged to support the author!

—

Your POV

Shit. Shit, shit, shit. You were drunk, but not too drunk to forget what you’d said last night.

The sunlight streams through the blinds, giving the room an orange glow. It’s early, but the bed next to you is empty. Understandably. Shit! You sit up, groaning as the movement makes your head throb. You’re in your underwear, and the shirt you’d worn to the bar last night. You can feel the underwire of your bra digging into your flesh. There was absolutely no reason to go that crazy last night, not if this is the aftermath.

As you’re gaining the courage to stand, the door swings open, and you catch Eddie’s eyes for a millisecond before he looks to the floor, face beet red, breakfast burrito clenched in his grip.

“Sorry, shit, I thought you would have left by now.” Eddie tries to leave the room, but you stop him before you know what you’re doing.

“Wait! Wait,” He stops, slowly stepping back into the room. “Eddie, I am so sorry.” You blurt the words out before you can chicken out. “That was so unfair to you. I was so wasted and I was celebrating, and I wanted to tell you about it but I-”

“Y/n,” Eddie’s voice is calm, firm. “Slow down.”

You take a deep breath, centering yourself. Your head has stopped spinning since Eddie’s appearance in front of you, but you try not to make too much of that. He’s dressed in his usual attire, a pair of black ripped jeans, beat up sneakers, and a well worn band t-shirt. Today’s choice just so happens to be the homemade, one of a kind Death Dance Approximately shirt you’d given to Eddie a lifetime ago. He’s since cropped it right above his navel, exposing his midriff, including a tattoo you’d forgotten existed: Your initials on his hip bone.

Shit!

“Okay,” You start, unsure of how you’re gonna dig yourself out of this one.”I want to apologize.”

Eddie’s face contorts, confusion carved into his features. He leans against the wall, still so far away from you.

“What for?”

You gesture loosely to the air. “Well, you know, everything. Last night.”

“Everything, huh?” If you didn’t know any better, you’d think he sounds hurt.

“It wasn’t fair. I was drunk, I shouldn’t have barged in here, put you in that position.” You trip over yourself, feeling your throat tighten. Do not fucking cry right now.

“Well,” Eddie draws the word out slowly as he pushes off the wall and towards you. “I can only accept that apology under a certain condition.” He looms over where you sit on the edge of the bed, surrounding you. He smells freshly like cigarettes and mint, clouding your brain as he fills your senses.

“And what would that condition be?” You try to sound unbothered, but your words come out meek, nervous.

“If you mean it or not.”

You gape at him, unblinking, waiting for him to crack, to say “Nah, I'm just kiddin’! We don’t have to get into this right now!” But he doesn’t. He takes another bite of his breakfast instead before tossing it on the dresser, completely unfazed by your silence.

“Do I mean that I'm sorry?” You’re playing very, very dumb right now.

Eddie isn’t willing to drop it, though. “Sweetheart, c’mon. We’re adults. I thought we were over this tiptoeing shit.” He cocks his head to the side, eyes rolling.

“I-” You huff, flustered with the way his neck flexes.. “Look. I didn’t want it to happen like that.” You look at him, determined to get through this without actually admitting anything. “I didn’t mean to say it.”

“Why not?” Eddie shrugs, like this is no big fucking deal.

–

Eddie’s POV

He really hopes you can’t tell he’s sweating. He can feel his heart in his throat, choking him with every breath. He keeps his eyes on you to focus. He can’t let you go again. Not after those words have left your mouth.

“Why not?!” You shake your head at him, frustration practically bursting out of your ears. Good, he thinks, you deserve to squirm a little. “How about, because this is what happened the first time? We moved too fast, we didn’t think, and look how that ended up! Or, how about, you’re supposed to be getting well, and the last fucking thing you need is me distracting you. Or, because if this doesn’t go well, we still have another month on the road together! And the fans, what are they gonna say when-”

“Stop.” Eddie shakes his head, kneeling on the floor in front of you. He should be pissed, but he can’t bring himself to be even a little upset. He has the upperhand now, and all he wants is to hear you say it again. Sober, this time. “Please, just tell me if you mean it.”

–

Your POV

I should lie to him. It’s not a good idea to tell him, not right now. You could take it back, this is your chance to make everything go back to that uncomfortable, tension riddled “normal” you’ve become so used to with Eddie. Things would be so much easier if you could just lie to him. But the way he’s looking at you, with a hopeful discretion, chocolate eyes wet with unfallen tears. makes every rational thought slide out of your brain, only leaving room for the way he’s pleading with you, wordlessly, as his hands grip yours tightly, hopefully.

“I mean it. Of course I fucking mean it, Eddie.” You barely get the words out before he’s climbing on top of you, hands letting go of yours to find purchase on the mattress either side of you, and you let yours fly to his hair, tangling your fingers through it like it’s second nature. You are quickly overwhelmed by him, your space completely infiltrated. The walls you’d been reinforcing to keep him out now crumble without a second thought, and he’s the one behind the wrecking ball.

“Thank fucking god.” He mumbles against your lips, and you smile into the kiss as he lays you down on the mattress.

“Eddie, wait,” You come to your senses, one final time as his mouth detaches from yours. “Are you sure this is what you want?”

Eddie has moved his mouth to your jaw, and you feel him chuckle against your skin as he kisses down your throat. “Even after all these years, you still doubt that I want this? That I want you?” You can feel his hand slide up your shirt, his skin lighting yours on fire. “You are all I want. All I could ever want. In fact,” He pulls himself away from your neck to look at your face. He’s serious suddenly, all traces of sweet teasing gone. “I should be the one asking if you want this.” He moves to get off of you, but you wrap your legs around his waist, holding him down. You’re tired of pretending not to want him, of avoiding how you feel because it’s easier. “I do. I really, really do.”

Eddie groans as you pull him back to your lips, letting the kiss say everything you’ve wanted to this whole tour. You hold his face in your hands, afraid he’ll disappear if you let go. His hand finds your skin again, sliding up your back to where your bra is still clasped. You’re nodding before he can even get the question out, and you feel the relief as he unhooks the fabric. He tugs your shirt off swiftly, and you let the straps of your bra slide down your shoulders.

–

Eddie’s POV

He separates from you then, getting up to kneel in front of where you lay on the bed, mostly exposed, save for your modest pair of black cotton panties. “Fuck,” The word comes out in a heavy breath as he takes in the sight before him. Your torso is littered with tattoos he’s never seen before, including one nestled between your tits. And speaking of, he can’t help but let his eyes land on your chest, admiring how your nipples have pebbled even before he’s really touched you.

“Still beautiful as ever.” He’s mostly talking to himself, but you smile up at him, eyes crinkling around the edges, and he feels his dick throb in his too-tight pants.

“I can’t be the only one exposed here!” You exclaim through giggles, and he obliges without argument, yanking his shirt over his head before moving back towards you.

–

Your POV

He’s been shirtless in front of you a few times over the past month, but not in this context. You watch, delighted as his abdomen tightens when you run your fingers down his stomach, along his happy trail to the waistband of his pants. You rake your fingernails over his skin, trace the new ink you hadn’t yet seen up close, listening to his breath hitch when you unbutton his jeans. Before you can yank his pants down, though, Eddie grips your hand in his, moving it back to the mattress. “We’ll get to that. Let me taste you first.” If you weren’t so eager, the words would have knocked you out, but you nod again as Eddie climbs clumsily off the bed to kneel back on the floor. He takes hold of your ankles, swiftly pulling you to the end of the mattress. You feel those pesky bats in your stomach for the first time in what feels like forever, heat rushing to your face as Eddie moves further in between your legs.

He’s in no rush as he moves up your body, lingering to place soft kisses in the crevices of your knees, the plush of your thighs, the peaks of your hips. He ghosts over your clothed heat, nose grazing your mound as he watches you writhe and plead above him. He’s amused by your eagerness, you know him well enough, but you can’t bring yourself to care. You want him, need him, and you’re tired of pretending you don’t.

Eddie is about to yank your last shred of clothing from your body when there’s a knock on the door.

—

Eddie’s POV

You have got to be fucking kidding. “What?!” He shouts, irritated, relaxing only slightly when he feels you giggling underneath him.

“Have you seen Y/n?” It’s Steve, taking his morning roll call. Eddie looks to you for the answer, but you only shrug, face getting redder by the second.

He moves to get off of you, but you follow him like attracting magnets, attaching your lips to his neck as he tries to answer his friend, causing his words to get lost in the fog, only letting out a strangled “Uhh…”

“Ed?” Steve twists the doorknob, out of habit probably. You flinch, and he feels his heart crack. “Wha- yeah! Sorry, I'm a little busy right now!” He clenches his teeth to keep from moaning as you lick a stripe up the column of his throat.

“Busy? You wanna know busy?!” Eddie can picture Steve behind the door, leaning into the peephole, one hand on his hip the other gesturing wildly. As pretty as Steve may be, the image is killing Eddie’s hard-on right now.

You’re not about to let that happen, though. “Steve, go away.” A command. He shifts, dick twitching in his pants again like a fuckin’ teenager.

“I-,” Pause. “Y/n?”

“Yeah.”

Silence. Then the fading of his footsteps down the hall. Eddie wills himself to look at you again, and is rewarded with your shit eating grin. “You are such a brat.” He scoffs, no actual effort behind the insult.

You have the gall to pout at him, like you’re an innocent bystander.

“Does this mean you don’t want to fuck me anymore?”

He gapes at your question, blinking rapidly as he digests it.

—

Your POV

You’d meant it to lighten the mood, but you’ve caught him off guard. Instead of his answer, you’re greeted with another interruption beyond the door. “Hey, love birds! Steve sent me over here because it is far too awkward for him to talk to you in this position, but I, frankly, am happy to relay the information.” While Robin is talking at you, Eddie is making his way closer, lowering to the floor while you bite back laughter at the mess you've gotten yourself into.

”We check out in two hours. If you plan to live out your honeymoon a little longer, it will be on your own dime!” Eddie kisses up your leg, grazing your skin with his nose, sending chills up your spine. Robin is seemingly unaware of your state, or she genuinely does not care. “We’re all going out for dinner tonight before everyone goes home, and both of you better not skip it to cuddle up in bed, you can do that for as long as you want, starting tomorrow. Also,” Eddie’s yanking at your waistband, his body shaking with giggles that you echo despite the knot in your stomach tightening with his touch. “Why are you laughing? What are you guys even doing in there? I know you’re not still asleep.”

”Robin!” Eddie calls, voice strained against his laughter. “I’m trying to eat!”

You drop your jaw, sending a backhanded slap to his shoulder.

”Did you guys get room service? Got any extra-,”

You cut her off with an involuntary moan, caused by Eddie slipping a finger past the damp cotton barricade of your underwear to slide teasingly between your folds. You smack a hand over your mouth, but it’s too late. There’s no way she didn’t hear that.

“Are you okay in th-“ It clicks. Finally. “Oh my god. Oh my god! Are you guys fucking?!” No regard for her fellow guests, or her best friend, Robin is cackling on the other side of the door. You’re in crisis, and she’s laughing!

”We’re trying!” You shriek back, feeling the frustration build as Eddie’s finger circles around your clit, causing you to grind against his hand.

“Oh my god. Wait. Is this first time?! Am I interrupting? Holy shit, I am so sorry-“

”Robin!” Eddie shouts again, this time sternly, losing his patience.

“Yeah?”

”Leave.”

”Yup, yup. See ya!” And finally, the fading of her footsteps, scurrying down the hall.

Eddie turns his face back to your center, littering kisses on your thigh as he wiggles your underwear away from your body.

You can’t help but get in one last dig. “You think she’s going to tell Gareth?”

His smile drops from his face completely, jaw tightly clenched. “I have no problem ignoring him yelling at me on the other side of that door. I think at this point he knows I don’t listen to him. And, he’d probably be relieved to find out I grew a pair.”

You scoff, ready with a wise ass remark when he shuts you up with a slow, wet lick between your folds. He glides your panties the rest of the way down your legs, and you don’t miss him pocketing them before moving his hands back to your thighs.

“Fuck,” you whine, desperately clawing at the sheets as Eddie’s tongue latches to your clit, tracing eager patterns across the bud. You drop your head back to the mattress, willing your brain to turn off. Eddie groans into your pussy, rutting against the mattress as he slips a single ringed digit into your hole. You buck your hips, aching for more and blinded by how good it all feels, how familiar. You’d had your fair share of one night stands since leaving Eddie, enough to get used to the normalcy of bad sex. Now, you’re blinded by how Eddie reads your body, like you’re written in a language only he can understand.

His tongue moves in circles over your clit, fingers curling steadily inside of you. The sounds he causes you to make are wet and absolutely filthy, but you can’t bring yourself to feel any shame. It’s Eddie, after all. You can feel your desire ripple through you, the coil in your stomach tightening with each swipe of his tongue, every stroke of his finger. He doesn’t relent, keeping an agonizing pace while you grind your pussy against his face, desperate for release. In response to your begging, Eddie groans into your core, the vibrations sending a shock of pleasure up your spine, and your vision goes white.

“Eddie, I’m gonna, fuck I’m gonna come!” It doesn’t take you long to feel your resolve snap, sending your legs shaking on either side of Eddie’s head. He holds you in place, still lapping at your juices as he claws at your hips, a response to the desperate praise you sing for him, an unintelligible string of curses and his name through breathy sighs as you attempt to slow your heart down. Eddie only pulls away when you tap the top of his head lightly, signaling your overstimulation. He releases his mouth from your core with a wet pop, and you can see his lips and chin are shiny with your arousal.

“Good as you remember?” He hovers over you, teasing smirk on his swollen lips as you scoff, rolling your eyes.

“Even better, somehow.” You wrap your legs around his waist, pulling his body flush against yours. Your breathing is still ragged, heart still skipping around in your chest as he closes the gap between you, letting you taste yourself on his tongue. You take his distracted state as an opportunity, tightening your grip around him, flipping him onto the mattress, landing on top of him a little less gracefully than you’d have liked, causing Eddie to burst into laughter. You’re quick to shut him up, grinding your sensitive cunt over his clothed cock, feeling it kick up at the contact. “You wanna help me get these off?” You ask sweetly, toying with the button of his jeans.

—

Eddie’s POV

“Jesus Christ, sweetheart.” His head falls against the mass of pillows, head foggy with the heat between his legs. “Keep doin’ that and I won’t even get the tip in.” Eddie grips your hips harshly, willing you to be still. Touching you doesn’t help in centering himself, though.

“What a shame that would be,” You tease, unclasping his belt as you speak. “Guess I’ll have to move quickly.” Eddie gets the hint, tucking his thumbs into the waistband to assist in getting his stupidly tight jeans off. He’ll curse himself about it another time, though. Right now, he’s solely focused on you, yanking his pants and underwear from his body, and tossing them to the floor carelessly before straddling him again.

You’ve always been a tease, and even all of this time apart hasn’t changed that, Eddie notices. You move slowly, sliding the length of his cock between your wet folds, head lolled to the side as you close your eyes, as if focusing into the feeling between your body and his. Eddie bites back a groan as he watches your performance, awestruck by the closeness. You infiltrate his senses, and he wills himself not to close his eyes from the pleasure.

Finally, after what feels like eternity, his swollen tip catches on your entrance, jolting him into action. He takes his cock in his hand, preparing to line up to your center the way he must have hundreds of times before. Even after these years apart, the distance both emotionally and physically between you, it is a second nature to him. You’re about an inch away when he has a moment of clarity.

“Wait,”

You huff in complaint. “Seriously?”

“I don’t have a condom.”

–

Your POV

That has never stopped him before, and you can feel the panic in your throat as you ask the question. “Have you ben fucking other people?”

He stutters, “Well, I-”

“Wait. Don’t answer that. Did you wear one when you were fucking other people?”

“Of course.”

“Okay.”

“Okay?”

“Okay. I’m on the pill, you’re being safe.” You shrug. Nonchalant. Not desperate at all.

“What about you?”

“What about me?”

“When you fuck other people, do they… ?”

“I just said I’m on the pill.”

“Yeah, okay, but you don’t know who these guys are, what diseases-”

“Okay, Eddie, stop. First of all, how do you know what genetalia the people I’m fucking have?”

That shuts him up. “Yeah. Also, if you must know, I have made all the people with penises wear a rubber. Feel better?”

Eddie is silent, and you let your brain run with your panic again. The mood is dead, Eddie is over the spontaneous, passionate confession and he’s never going to speak to you again.

“Okay.” He shrugs, and before you can respond he grips your hips, guiding you down onto his cock as you roll your hips forward, taking him deeper. Without much effort, you take his entire length, reveling in the familiar stretch of your walls. He lets you set the pace at first, a vice grip on your hips as you gain your strength, bouncing on his cock as he bucks his hips into you. You feel him growing impatient though, his thrusts growing eager, hands migrating up to grab your tits. Though you would love to draw this out, make him beg you for it, you find you’re just as desperate, watching him beneath you, mouth slack and eyes glossy, a picture you’ve missed for so long.

He finally sits up, and you let him wrap an arm around your waist, flipping you onto the mattress. Effortlessly, Eddie gains control, lifting one of your legs to wrap around his waist, allowing him even deeper inside of you. The new sensation draws a guttural moan from you, unabashed and absolutely filthy.

“Fuck, I missed that sound,” Eddie speaks between grunts, seemingly hypnotized by the way his movements cause your boobs to bounce. He continues snapping his hips, prodding that spot deep inside, that only he’s ever been able to reach. “Thought about ‘em all the time. Couldn’t let myself forget those pretty noises.” All the while, you can’t form a single coherent thought, brain foggy from the heat, coil in your stomach tightening again. He looks so beautiful above you, curly bangs stuck to his face with perspiration, eyes blown out with desire.

Eddie babbles on, ever the talker. “Missed these beauties,” He holds himself up with one hand, the other squeezing your tit again teasingly, and you giggle. “And this pussy too, so much.” the same hand travels down, ghosting over your skin until he reaches between your bodies, rubbing sweet circles on your clit. “Best I ever had, only one I ever wanted. Takin’ me so well, sweetheart. You feel so fucking good.”

“I missed you too, Eddie. You make me feel so good.” It’s a whisper, all you really have the strength for. He’s panting, resting his sweaty forehead against your own as you breathe into each other’s mouths, and his smile widens with your admission. His rhythm stutters slightly, but he doesn’t relent. “Need you to say it again, baby. Wanna hear you tell me again.”

You don’t have to ask what he means. Through your haze, you can barely get the words out, but you muster enough from the way he’s looking at you. “I love you, Eddie.”

Eddie groans at your words, throwing his head into the crook of your neck, like he’s embarrassed by his sensitivity “Fuck, I love you too. I love you so much, y/n. So. Fucking. Much.” He punctuates each word with a thrust, bringing you to peak.

And he’s right behind you. “Where should I-” He lifts his head up, and he looks at you with wide, frightened eyes.

“Inside, Eddie, please come inside me.” Your breathing is ragged, legs twitching rapidly as you cry out, white knuckles gripping the mattress.

“Shit, baby, fuck!” Eddie keeps his pace until you can’t hold on, the tether finally snapping as your walls tighten around him. You throw your arms around Eddie’s shoulders, nails digging into his skin as his cock twitches. He comes with you, spilling inside of you as a shiver runs through his body. You bring your mouth to his, swallowing his whines as you both ride out your orgasms, skin sticking to skin with sweat and spit.

Reluctantly, Eddie slips himself out of you, causing you to whine at the loss. Before you can say anything, he’s rolling out of bed and into the bathroom.

—

Eddie’s POV

He needs a minute. Maybe an hour. Realistically he’s gonna need a month. Shit. Regret isn’t the right word. Ashamed, maybe, of his lack of resolve when the subject comes to you. He’s vulnerable, exposed. He tries to shake the intrusive voice from his brain yelling in his ear that he doesn’t deserve to be loved, especially not by you.

“Eds?” Your voice pulls him from his thoughts, and he takes a deep, heavy breath before returning to you with a wet cloth.

“Sorry, got a little lost.” He chuckles, suddenly unsure how to approach this. Post sex for Eddie lately had consisted of a brief wave and a paid cab at most. Something tells him that isn’t the correct approach this time.

“Where’d you go?” You tilt your head, lending your ear like nothing’s changed since yesterday.

Eddie shakes his head. He won’t let himself ruin this again. “Nowhere more important than here.” He slips the cloth between your legs, gently wiping your inner thighs as he speaks. “Just had to pinch myself a few times.”

When you smile at him, he forgets everything he’s supposed to be worried about. He can only smile back, briefly before he kisses you again. He makes a point to be gentle, to show you he means it. Nothing is more important than here, now, with you. When your hands lace into his hair again he can’t help but sigh, as if relieved to be in your arms again.

He can’t fully shake the tension, though, and you seem to sense that. “We’ll figure this out, okay? We can talk after dinner. Just float here with me a little longer.” Your soft hand caresses his stubbled cheek, tickling him slightly as he reads your features. There is so much love in your eyes, it causes his heart to race.

Eddie nods, leaning his cheek further into your palm. You lean in again, kissing him gently as if sealing your word. He pulls you into his lap, holding you as closely as he physically can. You stay like that for awhile, before migrating to the balcony, lazily draped in t shirts as you smoke your cigarettes, enjoying each other’s presence. For now, Eddie can relax. Even for a few minutes, he is grateful for the silence.

—

tag list: @children-of-the-grave @five-bi-five @wiildflower-xxx @beebeerockknot @champagne-glamour @xxgothwhorexx @therensistance @chonkzombie @brxkenartt @sidthedollface2 @bibieddiesgf @gaysludge @eddiesguitarskills @potatobeanpies @poisonedluv @kellsck @m-chmcl-rmnc @veemoon | send a message to be added🫶

[coralpolyp]

I'm not dead!

Hey look here's a redraw of the really terrible bit of digital art I did for last year's Mar13 day as proof! Apparently I didn't even finish the first one on time! Yikes!

I'm well aware that it's been a minute or two since I last posted anything on here or on AO3 - to be more precise, it's been since Splatoon 1 died and I wrote that 8000 word depressing thing - I don't know why 8000 words always seems to be my sweet spot, but it's good to know that I have one. That being said, and with Side Order: Dark Side Mix currently MIA, I thought it'd be a good idea to to have what it is that I'm doing right now on-record in some capacity, for the one or two people who were wondering.

The next few weeks are exam season, so I don't think it's going to be smooth sailing per se, but Dark Side Mix will be completed. After running into a snag with the opening act - namely with the fact that it sucks - I started reworking the entire fic from top to bottom under a new name...and then I lost motivation to do that because perfectionism set in, and I haven't really touched it in a little while.

In the time that I've been away from it, I feel like I've become increasingly aware of how that perfectionism negatively effects me and my work - namely the fact that very little of it actually exists. I mean, sure, people seem to like the stuff that does exist, but there isn't much, and a lot of things are unfinished - usually because I placed too much value on the potential of "the idea", and spent so long labouring over the start of it that by the 10,000 word mark I had realised the flaws of the idea and lost interest in it.

I can't help thinking that's a bit lame. Every other writer has 100s and thousands of words of terrible amateur works they can go back to and laugh at, before they created the masterpieces they're known for now, and my story is that I just kinda show up every once in a while.

I think there's a real beauty to that - creating for the sake of creation, with no fucks given. Maybe this isn't the finest example, but I finally started listening to My Dad Wrote a Porno recently and...I mean... the sheer lack of fucks given is well and truly a gift that keeps on giving. Same goes for Philosophy of the World. Or SMG4 back in like 2014. Or old Eddsworld stuff. There's just a certain carefree joy (or existential dread in the case of the Shaggs) to it all that you never get anywhere else. It's like the difference between a 30 second gesture drawing and 6 hours of carefully-deliberated-over anatomy.

All that is to say - Dark Side Mix is a fundamentally flawed story. It is not high art, it never will be. I should probably just get it out there in it's entirety for the world to see in the time I have available to write, and then move on to the next "brilliant-idea"-that's-actually-just-ok. Nobody likes an "idea guy" - what good is it to spend one's entire life going around saying "I never finished this story, but it was great in my head, and the bit that you can actually read was alright too,"? Creativity should be about getting in there, making a mess, and having fun - let fanfiction be fanfiction, with that being addressed to nobody but myself, because nobody else needed to hear it.

Oh, also, another reason for my absence besides creative block and exams - I'm getting into comics! That, and practising my art fundamentals a whole bunch - I don't think my drawabox is particularly interesting to look at, so I haven't exactly been posting it. I've decided that I want to try giving an idea I had for what would've been another depressing Squid Sister 8000-worder the comic treatment, although you shouldn't expect to see that anytime soon, considering how long it's gonna take, and the fact that I would want to release something like that in no more than two parts.

[dope-trope-105]

Wanna Watch a Movie?

Modern Aegon II Targaryen x Reader

A/N: A prequel to "Piña Coladas", set in the same storyline as "Enamoured by Strawberries" and can be considered a prequel to that as well. I've written this fic in a way where you see the reader's relations with a lot of people in the Targaryen family, and how they hold a place for her in each of their hearts. And I may have pushed this in a little "love triangle" trope as well, which I might continue in future parts or I might not. Summary: The beginning of the vacation of all the Targaryen children, and a cute family lunch beforehand.

Warnings: Age-gap, an obsessive and calculated Aegon.

Word Count: 4.1k

It had been another shitty morning for you at the mansion. Daemon had woken you up, his loud voice coming from your door to take laps shaking your brain like he’d made you do the moment he decided he could. It was the worst possible way to wake up, seeing as you weren’t even a morning person. Yet, as you sat by your mirror running a comb through your hair, freshly showered and post-run, you felt great. You loved this part of the day the most, which was why you’d let Daemon force you to do this every day, your lazy ways needed the push. And it felt phenomenal to not feel like a slug after waking up as well. 

You did the same routine as every day, though you opted to wash your hair today. But after getting dressed as comfortably yet fashionably as you could, you headed for lunch, your stomach growling with hunger. As you walked through the large hallway, having made a right to the grand central staircase, you saw little Aeggie and Visie playing with Ana, their au pair, on a carpet in the living room. You waved to her, giving Aeggie a small kiss on the cheek as he came running up to greet you. Visie preferred Dany's company, but Aeggie had become obsessed with you in a matter of the one minute he spent in your arms. He was only three as of now, looking up at you with large, violet puppy-dog eyes as he lifted his arms, "up-up-up" leaving his mouth in his adorable baby voice. 

"You can take him to lunch, I was just getting ready to do so," said Ana. 

You nodded, flashing her a smile as you lifted Aeggie up, resting him on your left hip. One of his little hands went over your shoulder while the other twiddled your earring.

Little Aegon was a curious baby, his fiddling always finding something on your person to adore, sometimes your earrings, sometimes your necklaces, your bracelets, or even your hair. You walked behind the staircase, finding the smaller drawing-room, Rhaegar sat there with Aemond, who was on his laptop, they were both conversing. You walked over to them. "Hey guys, whatcha doing?" you said, grabbing little Aegon's arm to stop him from pulling your earrings off. "Just chatting," said Rhaegar. Aemond beckoned you to him, and you walked to stand near the armchair he sat on, glancing at his screen.

"You remember I was reading Critique of the Power of Judgement last night?"

"Yeah, yeah, the five-part by Kant you were telling me about?"

"Yeah, that one. Turns out, I hit a bit of a snag. That man's fucking diabolical, it's almost like I’m supposed to read it and decipher it on my own. I know you've got some app or something that answers everything, would something help?" he asked, looking up from the screen to you as you sat on the armrest.

"Umm, yeah, Reddit. It’ll probably have a bunch of people giving different answers, and you could read different perspectives, and find your own amongst them, there’s also chat gpt, it’s this AI-based website, I think, that just scrolls through everything on the internet and gives you the best answer. Use small sentences, I'm sure you'll find what you're looking fo- what are you doing?" You stopped mid-sentence as the sound of a camera made both you and Aemond turn to Rhaegar. "You guys kind of look like a married couple," Rhaegar snickered. You scoffed. Aemond frowned.

"I'm going for lunch, you guys gonna join us?" you asked.

"Yeah," said Rhaegar, eyes on his phone as he scrolled through the pictures he took.

"Yeah, I'll come to you for help, thanks for the advice," Aemond said.

You nodded, turning away and walking down the stone hallway. Aeggie was very calm in your arms. Rhaenyra had been grateful to you for this since day one, he was a noisy baby, but in her arms or yours, he'd almost always end up completely relaxed. More often than not, you'd find the crying baby being handed to you along with his sippy cup, and he'd settle down fairly quickly. Right now his head rested on your shoulder as he played with the hem of your top. You smiled as you whiffed his platinum hair, and it smelled like babies do. The hallway to the dining hall was one of the longest, tapestries hung on both sides. You'd glance at each and every single one as you walked to lunch every time. You always took your time in this hallway, strolling as the only sounds were your breathing and your echoing footsteps on the cool stone floors. Little Aegon would sometimes babble lightly. You reached the end of the hallway soon, turning left and entering the large doors of the hall, which opened to the dining table, chatter filled the air. Most of the family sat there.

"Hey guys," you said, walking in, as greetings rang across the table. Rhaenyra smiled at Aeggie, who'd now fallen asleep in your arms. She began to get up. "It's alright, he's asleep, eat your food," you said to her, and she flashed you another smile, settling back down into her seat. You walked to your own, Aegon, who sat in his own chair moved yours so you could sit. You uttered thanks to him as you settled into your seat, folding one foot upwards, adjusting so Aeggie lay on your chest, soft snores coming from him.

The dining hall, like the rest of the castle, was of stone and decorated in a dark, yet luxurious manner, its stone appearance giving it this beautiful, authentic ambience that was not very common, yet touches of modernity to balance it out dotted the place. The table was stone with dark marble designs, and the seats were plush pale green and light pink. You took out your phone, flipping through your notifications before turning it off and setting it on the table. Baela had been busy chatting away with Viserys. She turned away from him to your direction and softly elbowed you so as to not disturb the sleeping Aeggie.

"Yo, I spent almost all day yesterday begging Father, and he said yes to allowing a trip for us, I'm thinking Bora Bora," she said. You hmm'ed, approving of her choice, obviously. 

"When are we going?" you asked. "Tonight?" she questioned. "It'll take all day to pack, how long are you thinking?" you asked, a whine evident in your former sentence. 

"A week? I want a vacation, I've convinced Jace, Mr. Vizzy and his sister here, Vizzy is gonna convince Rhaegar, Aemond, Helaena and Aegon, Daeron's in already," you nodded thoughtfully. You looked over to Vizzy, who nodded at you with a confident smirk on his face. You knew the stubborn boy would get it done within the hour, no issues. He was one of the most persuasive people you knew. You continued chatting with Baela, ever so often running your hand over Aeggie's small body.

Unbeknownst to you, Aegon was simply gazing at you. He'd known about your slight crush on him for a while now, but you kept it under covers. Since the moment he did realise that about you, he'd caught himself staring quite often. He was so lost in his thoughts that Daeron slapped his arm to make him look away from you. He looked back at his younger brother, annoyance evident in his gaze, who leaned in and whispered, "Daemon's caught you staring. If you're really going to undress her with your eyes, at least don't do it in public for all to see," he said, scoffing.

It was well known Daemon had taken a liking to you, he treated you like Baela, only he shared more interests with you. He played a paternal role in your life since you’d moved into the mansion. Aegon did not want to mess with Daemon one bit. He turned back to his meal, uninterested as he'd throw glances at you ever so often. Aegon loved it when you doted on him. He enjoyed it far more when you'd start to get all girly for him, getting flirty, and touchy, but he knew of your inexperience. You were a master of the pre-sex, you were good at flirting, you knew the right thing to say, the right moment to touch. But Aegon knew if he were ever to take you to bed, you'd completely give in, and let him lead.

He'd seen you interacting with others too. You were very sweet at times, like with Baela, with little kids, and especially little babies. Your actions showed affection, your hugs were long, your words thought out, and you were attentive to those you talked to. This was the reason Aemond had taken a liking to you, as a friend even if you were much younger. He'd seen you two have discussions quite often. And sometimes it made him jealous.

You were also a brat. You'd quip, snap and even anger easily. You were social, but if someone tried to cross limits, your temper would take. Your words could be the most bitter of poisons laced in the sweetest honey. It was obvious the only way to handle you was to dominate you. Take Daemon, for example, he was sweet with you but very strict. Aegon knew about the training, and the pride Daemon held in seeing you excel at it. You were angered easily, yes, but could be subdued if caught by surprise. That's how he imagined you in bed, obedient but demanding, bratty but submissive. You'd top him only with his guidance, only if he asked you to and taught you to, and he'd still be in control. He'd teach you things about him, about your own body. The thoughts made his cock twitch, and he threw you another glance.

Little Aegon on your chest had stirred, and you calmed him as he moved his head, resting on your plush chest, his hand gripping the neckline of your top. The baby had luck, Aegon thought, internally scoffing at himself for being borderline jealous of a baby. He lifted his head to see Daemon looking at him, a lazy gaze settled as if the rogue prince was waiting for him to mess up, so he could pounce. Aegon struck up a conversation with his brother, who eyed him ever so often regarding you.

Beala and you slowly chatted as you ate your food, conversation striking all across the table. "Well if you girls are going to be packing for Bora Bora, who's gonna take the high Valyrian classes?" questioned Daemon, and both of you groaned. Studies you shared with Baela, though you studied biology, she studied psychology. But nonetheless, both of you studied High Valyrian, History and English together. Both of you planned to study from home till you turned twenty and jump straight to majoring in your specific fields. Rhaenyra laughed at your reactions, until Baela chimed up, "Luke, Rhaena and Joff should be the ones being taught, maybe we should leave Jace behind, have you heard his Valyrian?" Baela laughed, and you snorted at Jace's defeated look.

It was true, Jace suffered quite a bit with the language. "I was literally kidnapped, and I spoke Valyrian properly Jace," Dany teased, referring to her mom keeping her and Viserys away from the family till Dany had turned thirteen and Rhaegar decided to intervene, taking his younger siblings with him away from their abusive household. "Alright, don't go on making him cry now," Rhaenyra laughed, snickers rising from across the room and Jace groaned. 

"Welp, I guess we're leaving Jacey behind, enjoy the stormy beaches," you shrugged, giggling at Jace whose eyes bugged out of his head, air-fiving Dany from across the table. "I still don't understand why we can't go," Rhaena whined. Luke shook his head in agreement. "Not getting into this again," Baela sighed, shoving her food into her mouth. 

Lunch was finished soon, and Aeggie had woken from his slumber, crying. "Awww, don't cry baby," you cooed, trying to make him stop. "Give him here, he must be hungry," said Ana, walking over to you as she took the baby from you, who screamed louder before becoming completely silent as he was handed a bottle. "Just like you brother," snickered Daeron. "You'd be writhing in pain but the moment you're handed a bottle, all's well," Daeron made eye contact with his mother before hiding his smirk behind his hands, all of you silently laughing as Aegon frowned. But most of it fell deaf on his ears as he saw you, lips completely sealed off by your palm as you covered your flushed face with your hair, trying not to laugh. "Alright, that's enough," said Daemon. The laughing stopped, but Aegon was sure that order was directed not in his defence, but towards him. Nonetheless, you went back to your room, laughing along with Baela.

By the time night fell, the living room was filled up with items of luggage as arguing came from your room from the next room. "No, not that one, I'll look like a whore," your voice came. "Isn't that the point?" Baela's annoyed voice retorted. "No, I wanna look sexy, I don't wanna look like a prostitute," you said, making Alicent groan at the brash discussion between you girls as the argument continued. Everyone was sitting in the living room, your room was only a floor above, and your audible arguments made it clear you'd forgotten to shut the door. "Why couldn't we just go tomorrow, this is a nightmare," you whined again. "Bitch, Bora Bora is worth this," Baela quipped. "Well, of course, you'd say that, you were probably packed last month," you said, Baela's loud groan of frustration was the only reply. You blamed yourself. Both you and Baela had decided to laze around in your room, and when the time to board was only an hour away, Viserys called you to ask if you were done. Since then panic has sprung across your room.

"Alright, Alright, Alright. Let's just make a plan, we still have forty-five minutes," you finally said. "Forty-four, now but ok. We have seven days, we need two flight outfits, seven outfits for the day, seven for the evening, seven for the night, seven to sleep in, seven for swimming and seven pairs of lingerie. I'm thinking three extra pairs of nightwear, bikinis and lingerie," you finished. 

"Plus we need to plan footwear and jewellery for each outfit, plus makeup, skincare, hair and body stuff," Baela added, "and a toothbrush," you added. It was actually quite funny for the family listening to you two pack. Nonetheless, you came up victorious with the plan and had everything laid out on the bed, only needing to pack it all, Baela had gone to her room, left of yours and done the same. Then you girls switched rooms and scanned each other's things, came back out, approved of each other's choices and went back to your own rooms to pack everything. 

By the time you girls were finished packing, you had almost been reduced to tears while Baela was rethinking every single outfit she packed. Your luggage had been brought down a few minutes before you came down the stairs, promising each other to buy outfits if you didn't like what you had already packed. But once you were surrounded by everyone, your entire group hugged the rest goodbye and boarded the jet. 

Aemond and Rhaegar had decided to sit at the far back, followed by Helaena and Dany. This was the quiet part of the flight. They had been speaking quietly, not much, just silly conversation. Then sat Viserys, Jace and Aegon, they were planning what to do, discussing destinations and all. In the free space of the jet in the front stood you, Baela, and Daeron. Aegon had butted out of the discussion soon, rotating his seat so he could speak to Daeron. But even that had been short-lived for he simply retired to rubbing his fingers over the cold beer bottle as he watched you, seat almost completely reclined. He had sunglasses on so you couldn't see his gaze. But he was completely enamoured.

The stress of packing had you and Baela completely unwinding on the flight. Both of you had downed three shots and had ended up dancing with each other. Aegon watched you swaying your hips, arms going over Daeron's neck often as you three sang out some stupid rap. You had very little tolerance and had resolved to become a tumbling, giggling mess already. Baela was pretty much the same. Jace, Viserys and Daeron all sat in the front, drinking, and playing cards, and were responsible for the music, 

Ever so often Daeron would walk up, always to you. Aegon didn't like how his brother was almost a spitting image of himself, so you'd let loose around him too, he wasn't the same as Aegon obviously, but in your mind, it'd do, and Aegon knew that. The kids would cheer as you and Daeron danced together, your hands on his neck, his hands on your waist. You were slurring out the lyrics, Daeron laughing nonstop as he sang along with you, his deep voice a sharp contrast with your high-pitched one. A turbulence had you falling into his arms, him catching you easily as you leant onto him completely, laughing into his shoulder. Aegon's knuckles had become white from the tight grip on his bottle, his irritation turning to anger when Daeron turned to him, eyes directly with his, he knew he was watching. A slight smirk rested on his face, soon turning back to you.

You guys' party had only lasted for a few hours, because two hours later or so, Baela and you had completely worn out. To Aegon's utter delight, sometime after you guys were done with the music, you'd sat on your seat in front of Aegon and spun it so you'd be facing him. Nobody really paid attention to the both of you, Baela was sitting on one edge, talking with Jace quietly as the three boys plus her and Dany played uno. The ones behind them were either asleep or typing away, although Aegon suspected that it was just Aemond, who couldn't be less bothered with anything. You tapped his arm, waiting for him to reply as you sat on the edge of your seat, hands resting on your knees. He lifted up his glasses.

"Why didn't you dance with us?" you asked, a slight pout on your plump lips that he couldn't look away from, your breaths were slightly heavy and you were still off balance. Apparently sometime during the dancing you had downed two more shots. "Hello?" you questioned, dragging out the word when he didn't answer. "Didn't feel like it," he shrugged. He didn't know why, but he liked playing games with you. Acting indifferent just made you more incessant with him. He loved it. "So you're just going to sleep through the whole flight?" you said, a frown evident on your face. Aegon wondered if he had been a little too indifferent.

"Maybe, do you have something in mind?" he asked. You looked up at the ceiling, taking your lower lip between your teeth as you thought. Suddenly your eyes gleamed.

"Wanna watch a movie?" you asked. Aegon saw an opportunity.

"Where would we sit? Two separate seats for a laptop screen is too far," he said, you frowned again. While Aegon had known you were flirtatious, he knew you wouldn't be too bold with him. Though he basically threw you a bone of an opportunity, he wasn't sure you'd take it. And when your frown didn't budge, he sat up, face coming closer to yours as he leaned towards you, eyes boring into yours."How about you sit in my lap? The seat's big enough for both of us," you smiled at his suggestion. "Okay," you said, colour flowing onto your cheeks, fingers reaching for the laptop bag kept on your table.

Aegon laid back again, his seat had already been adjusted to the point of basically being a bed. "Come on then," he said, and you stood up, turning around and sitting on the edge of his seat before scooting towards him until your back hit his chest, you moved your head to one of his shoulders before turning around, forgetting what you were going to say when you realised how close you actually were.

"Something on your mind?" he questioned, a lazy smile settling on his face at your expression. "I-uh, yeah umm, can you see the screen?" you breathed out. He could smell the cherry lollipop you'd been eating to mask the vodka on your breath.

"Yeah, no issues," he shrugged, snaking his arms around your waist like a seatbelt. He watched you basically squirm under his gaze, your smile only growing wider as you blushed more. Aegon was loving this, he couldn't give half a flying fuck about the movie if he could be doing this with you for two more hours. Testing your limits and watching you squirm. Your eyes went back to the laptop as you opened Netflix, you'd lifted one leg up, and balanced your other hip somewhere along his thigh as your head rested on his shoulder. "What do you wanna watch?" you asked him, not turning around this time, you didn't trust yourself. 

"Anything," he simply said, one hand playing with the hem of your shirt. Your hair smelled like your shampoo, with a hint of sweat too. He'd rested his head back. "Grown-ups?" you questioned. "I don't think I know it," he said. "It's a comedy, see?" you clicked on it for him to read. He nodded, knowing he wasn't going to be watching it, but wouldn't hurt if it were a comedy. You played it, relaxing back into Aegon's chest.

You'd be giggling here and there, pointing out all of the numerous celebrities that kept showing up. It had been ten minutes into the movie when Aegon's hold slightly relaxed, his hands going back as one of his rubbed small circles on the outer side of your thigh, maybe a little close to your ass but he blamed it on your shorts. It was a very absent-minded move, but he felt you tense slightly. He saw the goosebumps rise on your flesh. A smirk grew on his lips. "Are you cold?" he asked, his fingers now grabbing your thigh as he moved his thumb across your skin slowly. You cleared your throat. "No," you squeaked. You could feel his breath on your neck, your heart had been exploding. Nonetheless, you looked back at the screen, mind focused solely on the hand on your thigh.

You'd passed out in less than halfway through the movie. Aegon's movements had at the beginning been invasive but soon became relaxing until it almost lulled you to sleep. Aegon softly called out to you, but you didn't say anything. He grabbed the laptop, turned it off and dumped it on the table next to his seat. Aegon had also gotten tired. It was around 4 am on Dragonstone right now, so pretty late for you all. You'd slightly stirred and moved to rest your head on his chest sideways as you curled your legs up slightly, cold no doubt. Aegon had one hand resting on your thigh as he drifted to sleep as well, the smell of you enough to relax him more than two Xanax.

He'd woken to find the frowning face of his brother sitting in front of him, you still in the same position, fast asleep. When his gaze didn't waver, Aegon slightly groaned. "What do you want?" he whispered, voice thick with sleep. "What are you doing?" Daeron asked, annoyed. "Sleeping," he shrugged. "She's basically a child," he said. "What does her being an infant have to do with anything?" he quipped. "Aegon you know this is wrong," Daeron huffed, sitting back in his chair, most people were still asleep.

The sky was a warm orange colour. "She's just using me for warmth, what's the big deal in that," he said, bored of the conversation. Daeron was far too annoying sometimes. "You know how she feels about you," he finally said. Though he did not want to speak out the truth. Aegon smirked. "And how are her feelings about anyone any of your concern, dear brother?" Aegon asked. "Because you'll just end up using her," he said. This didn't feel right. Aegon put his head back, eyebrows furrowed in thought. Would he actually just use you, or did he feel something for you too? His hands absent-mindedly rubbed circles on your thigh again. He closed his eyes again. He'd rather sleep than think.

[tumfullofblue]

I would do anything for another barney fic >.< UHHHHHHG I love that man so much. Maybe a continuation of the last fic where the reader comforts him?? And we hug a lil and give him a kiss on the forehead :,D <3

ʕ♡˙ᴥ˙♡ʔ Aww Nonnie! Of course I'll be happy to write more for Barney! Here's a bit of a conclusion to my last post aboiut him. It's a bit short but sweet. Hope you enjoy it! ᵔᴥᵔ

"Oh? Still awake I see."

You heard a voice over your head and raised it to look up at Barney as he descended from roof's stairacase. You were in your little nook, the place almost at the ceiling, laying in your made-up bed and reading a new book you managed to scavange in your last trip. You loved the feeling of yellow pages and the weight of old books in your hands, no matter what the text was about. And sometimes even Barney sat down and listened when you were reading something out loud. He was holding a crate with empty beer bottles and when you raised your eyebrow with a small smirk he shrugged his shoulders.

"Hey, I had a tough day, kid. Besides, this beer could go bad any second. I would never forget myself if I let it go to waste!"

"Sure, sure," you purred, watching him go downstairs quetly, trying not to rattle empty bottles around. Not just because he was afraid of waking up doctor Kleiner but you also know he was scared of drawing attention of Lamarr, still lurking somewhere in shadows. "You gonna sleep now?"

"Yep. What about you?"

"I, uh… I'll just finish this book and then I'll nap."

Barney didn't answer you. You've heard him doing something down in the lab, even though he was trying to be queit. You wondered what he thought about up there, on the roof. If he was listening to CP's on a stollen radio device. Or simply looking up at the black sky full of stars. He quickly ran back to you and grinned, crossing his hands on his chest and laying his head on your bed.

"Reading at night will make your eyesight drop, hun. Put that book away, c'mon now. You want me to tuck ya in?"

You giggled and playfully swatted his hand. "I'm not five years old, you know. You keep calling me 'kid' and I'll start calling you 'old man'!"

At that, Barney feigned offence, placing a hand on his chest. "Old man? Me? Honey, I'm barely--!.." he wanted to say his age. But… he couldn't remember the last birthday he had. Or how damn old he was. He could see the first gray strikes in his raven hair. Could see wrinkles on his sun-kissed skin. His life wasn't easy; maybe that's why he was feeling older than he actually was. Especially with such a bright sunshine that you were. He cleared his throat when you gave him a look.

"Sure. Call me whatever, hun. As long as it makes you happy. Won't stop me calling you 'kid' though, cause that's exactly what you are. Gotta live with that name for the rest of ya life, I'm afraid."

You huffed and layed back on your thin pillow. Maybe you didn't mind that nickname that much. You listened to his advice though and closed the book.

"Hey," Barney got your attention once again, just as you were turning off the small lamp above your head.

"Hm?"

"I, uh… I'm really glad we talked tonight. And over the beer, too? You know how to spoil a guy, darlin'. Next one's on me. And that's a promise."

You smiled and shifted on a bed closer to him. Your hands wrapped around his shoulders and Barney, suprised by your action didn't react at first. But his hug in return was just as soft and warm. He held you in his embrace for several minutes, allowing you to enjoy holding him close. Being protected. Being safe. Good thing you didn't see his eyes tearing up.

"Alright, alright," he grumbled playfully, getting you unhooked and cupping your cheeks, looking into your eyes. "I'm bein' serious here. Go to sleep." "Not yet. Gotta give my favorite old man a kiss goodnight." You pulled him closer yet again and pressed your lips against his forehead. You swore you saw him blush. He grumbled playfully about you being a little rascal and then you finally let him go. Barney send you a wink and started walking downstairs again. You followed him with your gaze and closed your eyes with a soft sigh, wishing you were the one to care for him, to ease his burden.

You had him and he had you. No matter what would happen tomorrow, at the end of the day, you would still have your rooftop and your black sky and each other's stories.

And maybe a kiss at the forehead for a goodnight. You would now look forward to it.

[insert-clever-username-1133]

*burns down building cutely* guys im literally just a girl!!!

welcome to my blog

hi guys!!! im loralai but you can call me lora. this post is a running collection of all my chaos

you guys like lists? good bc that's all ive got for you

~

stuff i do

art

i draw in ibis paint on my phone with a disc stylus and use capcut to edit animatics (which yes, i can still do, despite being in the us). most of my stuff is tagged with either #art or #doodles, rarely both. doodles is my old tag for sketches and... well, doodles. i put everything under the art tag now

writing

i have one published fic right now with another multi chapter on the way and some one shots im going to get to eventually! i don't have an update schedule. im little1133 on ao3

music

if you have perfect pitch talk to me please i need someone who understands the feeling when you get a song stuck in your head and you can't remember what key it's in but all the keys you picture it in sound wrong so now it's in your head but it sounds WRONG

fandoms

epic the musical

this is my main fandom right now! epic has had a huge effect on my life, gotten me back into drawing and writing :) im always down to yap about the babies or read your fic or whatever

i love odypen so so much. also i heard someone use the ship name penelody and that's the prettiest ship name ive ever heard i think. platonic eurypoli is also one of my favs. im a eurylochus defender for life

if you follow me you are big time signing up for epic spam

kotlc

this is my longest-term fandom i think. i love this little fandom so much!! Katie (@ myfairkatiecat , very cool user) got me into it last summer (i know, not very long term for my longest term fandom. im young okay). im a keefe defender (sorry stria) and i love fintan pyren a normal amount. fav ships are sokeefe, dexiana, and fintante! i am a sucker for platonic sophitz. they go well together what can i say

iywalirayhtdwa > wiityispb

percy jackson / riordanverse

i love love love this series so much. leo is my baby. percabeth should be called smartwater for ever and ever. i don't participate in this fandom because i learned my lesson from kotlc about joining the fandom before you're done reading and ive already gotten spoiled enough just from random youtube comments. am i really going to abstain from this fandom until ive read all however many series there are? probably not

greek mythology in general

dnd

yeah... right above this is percy jackson and epic the musical. you knew this was coming. im rapidly turning into the greek mythology kid. it's bad.

hadestown

i listened to the soundtrack with animatics a bit ago and im planning on watching a recording of the actual show. this musical has already. made me. FEEL THINGS. A LOT. doubt comes in absolutely broke me which im sure isn't a surprise to anyone who's seen hadestown. just like in epic Hermes is a whole vibe and a half. living it up on top, chant, and why we build the wall have alternated being played on loop in my brain. this musical is literally so.

im currently playing in a dnd campaign (#ivanna) as an elven wizard named Ivanna and in the late planning stages of dming a campaign (#crossfire campaign) for me and my friends. im unwell about both of these things

mouthwashing

i... don't have much to say about this fandom. im not very active in it. love the fanart. love daisuke and anya ofc. we be taking responsibility with this one

elnea kingdom

i don't really post about this game on here because the fandom is mainly on Reddit. this is here purely for propaganda. look up this game and play it. you know you want toooo ohh you wanna play it soooo baaaad

posts i want you to see

too lazy to do this list rn. im gonna link the seaglass vacker eyes post, the Ody is the short one in odypen, and some of my top posts later

tags ig

#art - self explanatory.

#bookmark - things I'm saving to refer back to later.

#liveblog - ive been doing this less lately but it's always a tradition for me to do at least a few liveblogs whenever im consuming a new media. i love this tag because it contains my magnum opus: my huge reblog chains with every little thought i had while reading kotlc. all of them have like 40 self reblogs to just add to them. there's a chain for each book, and i did it for the first like 5 or 6 books. i highly recommend looking at those they're very funny.

userboxes + other

i don't have a dni. if i don't like you ill block you

im not donating to your gofundme

my interests are subject to change on a whim with zero warning

[gamebunny-advance]

Doodle Dump

Been a while since I've posted a collection of bad sketches. Notes under the cut~

1-2) AC:OS Seals. So, I didn't want to give up on making those seals for you guys even though my enthusiasm for it kinda went away~ The melon soda seal feels like it's missing something, and I think the sea captain seal is giving too much Admiral Bobbery for its own good, so I might redo that one entirely. I don't hate them, but somehow they're not reading as very "Animal Crossing" to me. I think I need to get more creative about the facial features.

3) Pudding. Another attempt of designing Yuru's main mask. I think it's cute, but I'm still not sold on it. I like the colors at least, but I think I want the mask to have a big gaping mouth so he doesn't need to take it off to eat. I'm just having a hard time keeping it cute when the mouth is open.

I dunno if Pudding is gonna be their final name, but I guess it suits them.

4) Kun3h0 ver. 4(?). I'm sorry. I'm really sorry, but I just can't stop trying to redesign Kun3h0. Lately, I've been thinking that I'd like to try and make her a little less symmetrical for more visual interest. Originally the change was as simple as just adding the gauntlet to one arm (similar to be VERY early iterations of my "vtuber sona" with their one-paw glove), but then I started changing her more, and ended up with this. It's cute, but somehow I think it makes her theming even less apparent XP (her tummy lines were doing A LOT to sell the fact that she's a robot and not someone just dressed in sci-fi-ish gear).

I changed her eye color to green to draw in focus to her face (which is important for a V-Tuber design). Originally I thought I was achieving that by making the hair so much darker than everything else, thus drawing attention to the head, but I think changing the eye color to something unique helps even more with directing your eyes straight to the face.

I dunno. I like it aesthetically, but I feel like I'm losing the story here. In the last design, even though it was kinda generic, just having the clear indicator that she was inhuman did a lot to inform her character, but when I lose that, I lose the one real point of interest she had.

Then again, I've never truly had a good grasp on Kun3h0 as a character, so maybe that's what's wrong. Maybe if I sit down and actually write even a basic backstory for her, then I'd have some more direction besides, "girly robot Y2K inspired game character with a heart/bunny motif".

5-6) P2 Kliff (Banana Split/Original). So, I wanted to make a version of Kliff that fits more into my aesthetics. (Read: I wanted to make him pink). It isn't meant to be a replacement for him, just an alternate palette. In fact, I kinda liked this outfit enough to try it in his original colors too, and I think it works~

However, I dunno if I completely like the Banana Split colors

The outfit is based on this sketch from Kliff's original concept drawings.

I have NO idea what's going on in his chest area. They can't be the buttons on the top because he's wearing a turtleneck (unless it's a vest, and he's seriously wearing 3 layers in this fit). I don't think it's a lanyard because he already has a name tag on his shirt.

So I interpreted it as a necklace. I dunno, I've always felt like one of Kliff's understated traits is that he's clearly fashion conscious given how much he accessorizes and that he has the confidence to even run around in a coat that yellow, so I don't think it's out of the question that he'd wear more jewelry.

[skzoologist]

My mooties

⋆｡ﾟ☁︎｡⋆｡ ﾟ☾ ﾟ｡⋆ ꨄ︎ ⋆｡ ﾟ☾ ﾟ｡⋆｡☁︎｡ﾟ⋆

⤐ @dmnksrt - One of my irl best friends, you guys can thank her for so much, because she is my number 1 fan and keeps cheering me on. Without her, I wouldn't have written this much. She's a victim of accidentally being converted into a kpop fan, purely because I was also dragged into the fandom. Even though she stans another group and man (Suga), we still ramble to each other for hours easily. Once she gathers the courage to post her own fanfics, you can be sure I'll be there to support her immediately. Her brain is wonderful, just like her, I wouldn't hesitate to commit arson for her sake. Her tag is 'my Darling', no, we aren't dating, in case any of Nat's anons come here asking that.

⤐ @nerenbe - Well well well, if it isn't my menace herself. This lil gremlin is the sole reason I am in this fandom altogether, since she just kept singing 'Star lost' while we were in the Christmas market in the year 2023. I guess this is what I get for dragging her into so many animes and manhwas, haha. She isn't really active here, but know that she loves to murder me with pics and memes of my bias and wrecker. Truly, she lives up to her nickname.

⤐ @shetherocket - The last of my irl best friends, the poor one who isn't in the kpop fandom and has no idea wtf I am saying to her, ever. It's really funny actually, as she just nods as I speak, no clue about anything. But she likes Felix! Loves his softness and sunshine self, so I sometimes spam her with him lmao. I am never going to be sorry for that :D

⤐ @thightswideforhanin - First ever person to loudly admit Bae wrecked her, and hard. I always enjoy her reblogs, she was one of the first ever active members of my blog.

⤐ @theo4eve - A shy follower of mine who gathered enough courage to speak to me, and would you look at that, we speak more regularly now :) He's very sweet, which is why I just call him my Sunshine. Always manages to put a stupidly big smile on my face with his wonderful reblogs, and is just a very sweet person in general. Also writes his own stuff now too, and I'm very proud!

⤐ @jinnie-ret - Jinnie-ret, Jinnie-ret, the person who started it all. She was the first skz writer who noticed me and decided to raid my blog, quite literally. She recommended my work on her blog and I got a big influx of people, making me breach the 100 followers threshold. I still can't believe she'd followed me back, when I've been her silent follower for months by that point. While we don't speak a lot, as she is busy, I know she's very welcoming and kind (also my brit mum, because she decided to adopt me lmao).

⤐ @atinyniki - Niki, my precious little pocket pookie who just loves to pester me and absolutely shower me in love, no matter how hard I keep pushing it away (this is the norm for me and my friends). She's absolutely sweet and so strong, I look up to her in that sense to this very day. We easily start gushing about ATEEZ or my husky puppies for a good while, or even start planning some gut-wrenching fics together xD I am so happy she wrote to me, even if she keeps insisting I am cute, falsely.

⤐ @writingforstraykids - Nat, my talented menace! I love her art, oh my god, I cannot wait for her to draw more, even if that is a year later or more. And her soft thoughts? Hell yes! She's the one who usually gets to see my own random thoughts about the boys (hence our collab), because she's my mootie and they get VIP services :) I am forever afraid she's gonna do what my menace does and send me pics of the boys... I would straight up die on the spot.

⤐ @cheesemonky - Leisel! While we don't talk a lot (timezone differences and my depressed, anxious self), she's cute and so supportive. I just know if we would talk more, our chat would be filled with rambles and thoughts about TXT, haha.

⤐ @yangbbokari - Mumu, the chaos child. We didn't get to know each other well yet, but she loves to say random shit and cause mayham xD Very maknae line coded.

⤐ @lilmisssona - Sona, my sweet sonata, who is so sweet and supportive of me despite barely knowing me, it gives me diabetes. I already love her works, her AUs are very interesting. She also loves my two puppies, and I am only glad to provide her with photos and videos of them.

⤐ @minholing - Jenny, my lil biologist sprout. While she left, I will await her return here. Who knows, maybe by then I'll be able to accept her hugs more easily.

⤐ @kimistorm - We don't really talk, but we occasionally tag each other in some games. Her works are really nice and sweet, I wouldn't be surprised if she is like that too.

⤐ @miuracha - Miu, the legend amongst us. I haven't really gathered the courage to talk to her yet, but I do know she is an absolute sweetheart who only deserves the best. I hope life finally gives her a break, and very soon.

⤐ @silverstarburst - Silver, my star and guardian wolf, thanks to her protective nature over her friends. Our friendship started with her tagging me in a Jisung photoset, completely unprompted. That was a sign, so true that we now regularly talk here or on discord. Bless her and her gif/photo sets.

⤐ @galaxycatdrawz - A very active moot of Nat, someone who gave me even more meme ideas when I started memeing Nat, being the menace he is. Thus, he shall be named my official meme partner. While we don't talk regularly, that doesn't mean he isn't fun to be around.

⤐ @thatonedemigodfromseoul We haven't really talked a lot so far, but that is how it is when you just meet someone.

⤐ @dean-a-mean-tae Ah, yes, sweet Ronnie, who likes to sing my praises, even though I am average at best. No, please, don't look at me like that guys, I'm sorry- We have this mouse and cat game where we compliment the other in an endless cycle. Also let me tell you, when I first saw that they mentioned me, saying how good my silly fics are, I just sat in front of my screen like a confused and emotional dumbass. Definitely will remember that day for a good while, haha. I look forward to getting to know them better, if life allows it.

If I didn't tag you here, that either means I am way too nervous to do so (you're probably a big writer blog), or I just straight up forgot with my smooth, pea-sized brain. Please do reach out to me, I assure you I didn't mean to somehow offend you.

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[diorkyeom]

‘✷’ : CHAPTER SEVEN “the seokmin version”

<< prev chapter | ao3 fic | next chapter >>

chapter word count: 5.7k+

chapter warnings: none

summary: "lately, seokmin had come to a realisation. joshua hong, seokmin thought, was a little bit of an enigma." - in which seokmin has known joshua for years, but he's always been a bit of a mystery to him. and as the days go by, he finds himself falling further and further for the enigmatic man, wanting to find out who the real Joshua Hong is behind his polite smiles and warm eyes and sweet words.

notes: every time i post a new chapter it ends up being my new favourite

"I'm leaving right away today," Seokmin declared to the literature office the moment he stepped inside after finishing his last class. "No staying late to do marking for me."

"Good for you," Yuna said drily. "Go away, then. I have fifteen students who handed in work late. And I need to mark it by tomorrow."

Hayoung groaned. "You and me both. But I actually only have three kids, so I'll probably be out in another hour or so."

Minjun stormed into the office at that moment, carrying a stack of papers and huffing. He slammed his papers down on his desk with a loud thump, drawing the attention of all the other teachers. 

Yuna blinked, eyes widening at the black, inky mess. "Minjun, is that—"

"The printer," Minjun said, "is broken. Really badly. And the IT department have already fucking left. I'm gonna have to stay behind to fix it, because apparently no one else on this floor is competent enough to do it, and you're all gonna help me."

There was a beat. 

"Well, I guess that's my cue to leave," Seokmin chirped, and then beamed brightly, grabbing his bag and backing out of the door. "See you guys tomorrow!"

"Lee Seokmin, you come back here!" Yuna screeched, but the door was already swinging shut, and Seokmin skipped down the hallway with a laugh, on his way to find Joshua. 

It had been a few days since their late-night discussion under the streetlamp, and things were still pretty much normal between them. 

Seokmin still grinned and chattered and occasionally stumbled over his words, and Joshua still nodded and listened and watched Seokmin with that soft, soft gaze, adding in his own teasing remarks and letting Seokmin ramble as much as he wanted. 

Joshua was still the Seokmin version of himself, the version he put on when he and Seokmin bumped into each other at school, or when Seokmin popped over to their house to say hi to Jeonghan, or simply whenever they were in public, in broad daylight. It really must have been hard for him to switch it off, Seokmin mused, but he was okay with that. 

Joshua was understandable now. He was still rippling and changing and effervescent, but Seokmin could identify what all the different colours were. 

Seokmin thought briefly that maybe Joshua would never cease to be an enigma. That he’d always be confusing and elusive and endlessly pretty, all at once. 

It didn't really seem like a bad thing. 

He hummed to himself as he walked down the Music corridor, before poking his head into the classroom that Joshua was working in. His eyes widened, and he quietened his steps as he took in the scene before him. 

Joshua was sitting at the piano in the corner of the room, a student sitting on the chair beside him, and he was going over chords and playing around with melodies for her. His voice was calm, carrying gently through the empty room as he played a few chords, spreading them out and explaining his process. 

"—really, really lovely," he was saying. "Honestly, diminished seventh chords work really well, but maybe you might want to try some ninths? Something that sounds sweet and dramatic, and the arpeggios would work really well for that."

He demonstrated, improvising a melody on top of the accompaniment, and the loveliest, most delicate sound floated through the air, all pale warmth and swirling leisurely through the room, before making its way to Seokmin at the doorway.

Joshua continued to thoughtfully glide his way across the keys, eyes following the movements of his fingers, the music singing under his touch, glass-smooth and pretty and golden, and Seokmin’s eyes were wide as the melody slowly trailed away, resting still and calm under Joshua’s fingertips.

“Something like that?” Joshua suggested to the student next to him, all casual, as if Seokmin’s heart hadn’t started hammering rapidly in his chest from the display of such gorgeous sounds.

The student nodded eagerly, listening intently as Joshua began to explain the overall idea of a piece that she should aim to achieve, and that was when Seokmin decided that maybe he should wait outside of the classroom until he was finished.

Once he was out in the empty corridor, he put a hand to his forehead, sighing. 

That was weird. Seokmin didn’t normally start feeling dizzy whenever he listened to Seungkwan practise his musical theatre songs, nor did his heart start racing when Soonyoung showed him the new song he’d made Jihoon compose for him. It was just music, after all. Just his friends belting out notes, sometimes nonsensically, oftentimes obnoxiously. It wasn’t anything special.

But Seokmin thought about Joshua’s eyelashes fluttering as he traced watercolour patterns across the keys, the gentle, pensive expression on his face as the shimmering softness unfolded before the silent room, the way his own heart was still beating abnormally loud in his ears simply at the memory of Joshua playing the piano.

He closed his eyes, fingers finding the strap of his shoulder bag, grasping it tight. 

That hadn’t just been music. It had been something far too beautiful for words.

“Seokmin?”

Seokmin’s eyes flew open, and he turned to see Joshua leaving the classroom behind the student, who shouldered her bag and turned back round to give a last quick wave to the music teacher.

“Thanks so much, Mr. Hong! I’ll see you next week!”

Joshua smiled, returning her wave. “See you, Yerin.”

And then the girl was off, speeding out of the Music department, and Joshua turned back to Seokmin, the endeared fondness of his expression changing into something sweeter, fluffier, softer. It made Seokmin smile, in spite of himself, because that smile? That was Joshua’s ‘Seokmin Smile’.

“Shua hyung,” Seokmin greeted, shouldering his bag and pushing up his glasses in one motion, missing the way that Joshua’s eyes brightened at the greeting. “I heard you talking with that girl a few moments ago.”

Joshua hummed, popping back into his classroom for a moment to grab his bag and his coat, before promptly reemerging and walking beside Seokmin down the corridor. “Yerin’s normally very good with her compositions. She just has trouble getting the ideas in her head down onto paper, but once she cracks that, she’ll do really well.”

Seokmin grinned, nudging Joshua with his elbow. “She’ll do even better now that she has you, I just know it. You’re really good, hyung.”

“Aw, thank you,” Joshua said with a chuckle. He pushed open the doors to the Music department, letting Seokmin leave first. “I should hope so, though. I’ve been playing music for several years now. It would be a bit worrying if I wasn’t.”

“You know that wasn’t what I meant,” Seokmin insisted, half-whining, before smiling as Joshua looked up at him, eyes twinkling. “You should play something for us at some point, Shua hyung. Maybe at the next Game Night. It’d be fun!”

Joshua tilted his head, and they finally stepped through the school’s front doors, entering the cool late afternoon air. The slight breeze ruffled Joshua’s hair as he adjusted his coat in his arms, gaze sliding away from Seokmin’s and out into the distance. “You want me to play for all of you?”

Seokmin thought about it for a moment. “Maybe just for me?” he suggested. “If you’re uncomfortable with showing everyone.”

For some reason, his words made Joshua’s posture stiffen before easing a millisecond later, shoulders relaxing as he continued to look forwards, before finally his eyes found their way back to Seokmin’s. 

He smiled, irises sparkling in the faint sunlight. “Maybe.”

And then he shook his head, so his hair was no longer in his eyes, bumping against Seokmin lightly with his shoulder.

“I haven’t seen you all day, though. Tell me about your day?”

Seokmin immediately brightened, leaping at the chance to ramble to his Shua hyung, launching into a full, exhaustive run-down of what had happened to him throughout the seven hours in which he’d been at work.

Joshua had gone back into full gentlemanly polite mode again, wearing his pretty, courteous colours once more, all soft cotton candy and not-quite within Seokmin’s grasp. It really did seem to be his daytime default, to infuse one of his personalities into him at all times, but Seokmin could see how they genuinely were always just Joshua too.

He cherished these moments, where it was just the two of them, walking to work or back from work or just randomly bumping into each other at night. It felt special, when no one else was around, when Jeonghan’s rippling gaze was no longer fixed on them, when Soonyoung wasn’t creating the latest distraction just within their line of sight. It was just them.

Just Joshua and Seokmin.

And Seokmin especially cherished those random night visits, where they suddenly spotted each other walking on opposite sides of the road, or where they wordlessly decided to come back to that one bench beside the river that Seokmin had first seen Joshua on his nightly walks. There was something more precious about them, more delicate, vulnerable.

Joshua was more himself, then. He smiled more easily, talked more easily, asked Seokmin questions but also answered them too, straight-on with no elusive dancing around. He was, all in all, much more comfortable when it was just them, and it was something that Seokmin felt almost honoured to witness. 

With every nightly meetup, Joshua seemed to relax even more, and for reasons unknown to Seokmin, it made him feel all happy and fluttery inside whenever Joshua’s eyes softened into gold and the cotton facade all but melted away.

───────────── ‘✷,

“I get what you mean,” Seokmin said thoughtfully, pushing up his glasses as he frowned down at his own book, “but I think saying that Achilles was dealing with ‘the everyday gay traumas’ isn’t going to sit well with the examiners.”

The students laughed, and Seokmin smiled, blinking wide-eyed at them.

“Don't get me wrong, I agree wholeheartedly. If you can somehow manage to fit that analysis in with the themes in the Iliad, I'll personally bake you a cake."

There was a clamouring of noise, the students excited by the idea of being able to get sugar. 

"Mr. Lee!" one boy called out. "Isn't 'love' one of the themes in the poem? Wouldn’t it be really easy, then?"

Seokmin paused, looked down at his book, and then looked up at them again. "I'll bake you a cake if it makes sense within the context of the essay question," he amended, and then waved his hand. "Okay, okay, shh! Please discuss the passage we just read with your partners. Please don't make me talk about baking cakes. I'm not very good at it."

"Oh, come on, Mr. Lee! That can't be true!"

“My sister once set the oven on fire while baking a cake!”

“Can I bake a cake for you instead, Mr. Lee?”

"Mr. Lee! What's your favourite cake flavour?"

"Please just finish this task," Seokmin begged, half jokingly, tapping his pencil against his copy of the Iliad. "If I talk about cake, I'm gonna want to have some when I leave work."

"Why is that a bad thing, sir?"

A phone alarm went off, and Seokmin looked over at his desk, turning off the alarm, before looking back at the students and snapping his book shut. “Oh, dear, looks like that’s the end of my book study session. You guys have to go home now, without finishing the incredibly riveting extract analysis task I prepared for you.”

There were varying degrees of cheers throughout the room, and Seokmin smiled and shook his head.

“I am, however, going to be setting it as a mini task for you to complete for next week’s session, okay? Because we were meant to do it today, but we had no time.” And then he waved his hand at them, gesturing for them to quickly leave. “Now shoo. Go home and rest. I’ll see you all later.”

There were choruses of “goodbye”s and “thank you”s as the students left, and Seokmin watched them go with a slight fondness on his face. 

Hayoung had asked if he’d be willing to start a book study session for the literature students who were in their last year of high school, and of course, Seokmin had been more than eager to say yes. It was a session that included a mixture of his, Hayoung’s and Minjun’s students, since they were the teachers with classes for the older years, and Seokmin had taught all of these students at least once during their time at school. Of course he was going to say yes to giving them study sessions so they could do their best in their upcoming exams.

What could he say? He had a soft spot for memories.

Once the last student had exited the room, Seokmin gave a soft sigh, pushing up his glasses and sat down at his desk, checking his phone, and then tilting his head at the text that flashed up on his screen.

[ jihoon hyung !! ]

your demo sounds incredible by the way

it’s been finalised and everything and the other producer really likes it too

you could seriously have a career in singing if you wanted, seokmin.

Seokmin shook his head, scrunching his nose to prevent his glasses from sliding down. He sent a quick “i’m glad it’s been approved!!” back to Jihoon, but just smiled at the last message, setting down his phone and standing up once again, pushing up his glasses with a finger. Maybe he needed new glasses. These ones weren’t sitting properly.

He hummed to himself as he began to tidy away the room, adjusting chairs and tucking back the curtains, the melody of Jihoon’s new song finding its way inside his head.

‘To You’, the song was called, and Seokmin was certain that it was one of Jihoon’s most heart-wrenchingly beautiful songs to date. Shining, warm, hopeful and romantic, and also utterly wonderful to sing aloud.

The room was entirely empty, and Seokmin’s voice steadily grew louder as he sang along to the melody inside his head, spraying the whiteboard with a cleaning spray and then wiping it down.

In this swirling day

You’ve given me a small piece of happiness

You’ve given me all the smiles of the world in my hands

So even if I run out of breath on a steep road

Even when I lost my path on a cold day

We’re still holding hands with warmth

Seokmin paused then, the main melody echoing around in his brain as he gripped the cleaning spray dramatically as if it were his mic, and belted out the ad-libs and countermelodies, pouring his heart out into the harmonies that, in the safety of the empty classroom, no one would hear but him.

To you, to you

The story I wanted to express

To you, to you

I want to say more things like this

Oh-oh, in this swirling wind on this day

If an eternal love exists

Then that is what you are.

Slowly, dramatically, still basking in the heartfelt afterglow of Jihoon’s incredible new song, Seokmin lowered the cleaning spray and lowered his head, scrunching his nose so that his glasses didn’t slip off. 

It was a beautiful song, about loving someone who was understanding, gentle, caring, even when they didn’t say a word. About being loved in the most precious way.

“Seokmin?”

Seokmin flinched sharply at the sudden voice, so suddenly that he squeezed the spray too hard and sprayed himself in the knee. “Oh, shit!”

He whipped around, looking around the classroom to see who had come in and hoping against all hope that they hadn’t heard him singing, only to see—

“Shua hyung?”

Joshua was leaning against the wall at the back of the classroom, smiling. He stepped away from the wall when Seokmin turned around, and his eyes were glowing with something so, so gentle as he walked through the tables to get to where he was standing. “Hello.”

“Um.” Seokmin stood there, awkward, attempting to smile and give a wave. “Hi? How long have you been standing there?”

“Sorry, I came in halfway through,” Joshua said, chuckling a little. “I came here to, you know, walk home with you. And I didn’t want to interrupt your singing session, so I was just kind of standing at the back by the door, waiting for you to finish.”

Seokmin looked down at his hands and then hastily set everything back on the desk, wiping his knee. “Oh. I see.”

“Wait, let me help you with that,” Joshua said, noticing the wet patch and immediately grabbing a few tissues, before kneeling down in front of Seokmin to press the tissues against the spot. “Sorry, I guess I startled you a lot, huh?”

“No, it’s fine, I’m just a scaredy cat. Plus, when I sing I sound really, uh, weird.” Seokmin swallowed, his earlier surprise at Joshua’s sudden appearance now beginning to wear off. But as Joshua looked up at him, eyes caramel gentle in the light of the afternoon, he wondered vaguely why his heart was still beating so fast. 

Joshua rose to his feet so he was eye level with Seokmin. “You sounded so pretty,” he said, and he said it so sweetly and so honestly that Seokmin found himself blinking rapidly, cheeks heating up almost instantly. “The song sounded so nice. You have such a beautiful voice, Seokmin.”

There was a definite blush on Seokmin’s face now, the embarrassing kind of blush that went from his ears right down his neck, and also rendered him absolutely incoherent. Joshua was still smiling at him too, damnit, and it made it all the more difficult for him to focus on scrabbling a few syllables together to give a response.

“It’s not mine,” he blurted out, a little too loudly, and Joshua blinked in surprise.

“Not… yours?” Joshua’s brow creased in confusion.

“The song,” Seokmin elaborated, and then scrambled for his phone to unlock it and bring up an audio file. “It’s Jihoon hyung’s. He’s made a new song, and he asked me to record the demo for it.”

Joshua’s eyes widened at that, amazed. “You’re the person that Jihoon asked to sing in his demo? Do you know how incredible that is, Seokmin?”

Seokmin shrugged, bashful. “Not that incredible? It’s just a demo, anyway. Hyung offered to pay me, but I said it’s okay.”

Joshua shook his head. “That’s still amazing. Jihoon never lets people look at his things until they’re finalised.” He looked down at the audio file on Seokmin’s phone, the cover-less ‘To You’ file staring up at him. And then he looked at Seokmin with a small smile. “Could I… listen to it?”

Seokmin stared at Joshua for a long, long moment. Joshua smiled back, and it occurred to Seokmin that the elder was smiling more and more these days, his face becoming more relaxed, his eyes more willing to curve into their pretty little crescents at the things that Seokmin said.

And then he decided, oh, what the hell. If his Shua hyung wanted to listen to it, then Seokmin would let him listen to it.

So he sat down on the floor and beckoned Joshua to sit next to him, and then pressed play.

It was the first recording that he’d done, running straight through after practicing the melody a few times with Jihoon, and his pitch was off in some places and he came in late in others, but Joshua listened intently, eyes fixed on a random spot on the floor as Seokmin’s voice rang out through the speakers of his phone. Seokmin wanted to cringe, wanted to turn off the audio and wrench his phone away because it was embarrassing, especially when it was Joshua listening, but every so often the elder would lift his eyes up to look at him, and his eyes would be so wide and awed that he couldn’t bring himself to do anything else but stare right back.

The recording finally finished, and Joshua sat back, pressing his lips together. Seokmin watched him, anxiously, finding that he really was nervous of what Joshua’s opinion was.

“Pretty,” Joshua said simply, and then his face softened even further as he smiled. “It all sounds so pretty.”

Seokmin blushed again, looking away, pleased. “Really?”

“Yeah! I really love how your voice sounds, and I think this type of song suits it really well,” Joshua said, and Seokmin’s heart swelled with something warm and pink and happy. “I love the song, too. I want to learn the chords so I can play it.”

“Jihoon hyung will be happy to hear that you love his song,” Seokmin said, beaming. “You can ask him for the finalised audio once he manages to get the boy group to record it, if you want. I’m sure he’ll be willing to give it to you.”

Joshua just hummed, tilting his head. “I don't know. I think I like the Seokmin version better.”

“The Seokmin version?” Seokmin repeated, biting his lips to prevent himself from smiling too widely. It sounded… nice, when Joshua said it like that. Like Seokmin’s recording had meaning.

“The Seokmin version,” Joshua confirmed. He nudged Seokmin with his elbow. “Hey, maybe this can be the piece that I play for you one day. Maybe you can sing with me too. How about that?”

Seokmin couldn’t help it. He beamed, the giddy happiness evident all over hstopped biting his lips and beamed, and the giddy happiness was evident all over his face but he couldn’t help it, knew nothing would be able to prevent him from grinning widely, oddly thrilled at the idea of having some sort of singing duet with Joshua.

“I think I’d like that a lot.”

───────────── ‘✷,

“I don’t think I like that. At all,” Seokmin sulked, and Soonyoung sighed.

“Seokmin, you made this demo. Demo. It’s an example piece that’s gonna be heard by loads of people! It’s literally what it’s designed to do. Be heard.” Soonyoung stabbed a finger on the table, and then pointed at Jihoon’s laptop. “Your voice is gonna be heard by so many people, and you’re not gonna know most of them. But that’s what’s meant to happen.”

Seokmin shuddered, displeased, and Jihoon tapped his fingers against his laptop. “I don’t think you’re helping the situation, Soonyoung.”

“But he needs to know!” Soonyoung protested as Jihoon just shook his head. 

“Seokmin,” Jihoon started, “You’re willing to let Soonyoung hear it, yes?”

Currently, Jihoon, Soonyoung and Seokmin were sitting at the dining table in the latter two’s apartment, and Jihoon was playing the demo for them all to hear, Soonyoung was talking incredibly loudly and Seokmin was sulking.

He crossed his arms, pouted, and avoided their gaze. “I guess,” Seokmin muttered dejectedly. “Didn’t know that so many other people would hear it too.”

“Seokmin, it’s meant to be heard—”

“We’ll only let the relevant people hear it, obviously,” Jihoon said, talking over Soonyoung. “So that’ll be me, the other producers, Soonyoung, and the idols. Is that okay?”

“Also any other choreographers they bring in—”

“Is that okay?” Jihoon repeated, pointedly ignoring Soonyoung, making the choreographer huff petulantly. The other kept his eyes on Seokmin, however, calm and patient. “We won’t do anything that you’re not comfortable with. We won’t show it to anyone, if you don’t want to.”

“Actually, we kind of have to, ‘cause that’s what a demo is for,” Soonyoung said, before Jihoon shot a glare in his direction and he widened his eyes innocently. “What? I’m right!”

Seokmin shook his head, putting his elbows on the table and squishing his cheek against his palm. “I suppose that it’s true,” he said. “I just… I’m still not sure if I was all that good.”

Soonyoung smiled sympathetically. “You have really bad self-esteem issues, Seokmin. Your voice is so, so incredible.”

Instantly, Seokmin’s brain conjured up a memory of Joshua’s earnest smile and that gentle, melodic voice saying “You have such a beautiful voice” all golden and lovely and he blushed, rapidly dispelling the thoughts before they showed on his face.

“But other than the people at the company, we won’t show anyone else,” Jihoon promised, giving Seokmin a small, reassuring smile. “In fact, you don’t have to show anyone else either. No one in our friendship group even has to know.”

“Okay,” Seokmin said, and then smiled a little. It was touching, how sincere Jihoon was being about all of this. And then his eyes widened. “Wait, but if I do tell someone, like, right now, is that okay?”

Jihoon blinked, and then frowned. “Um, technically no, but if it’s someone in our group then we can tell them not to talk about it anywhere.” 

“Why do you ask?” Soonyoung added. “Did you show it to someone?”

Seokmin took his elbows off the table, nodding. “Just Shua hyung. He heard me singing, so I showed the recording to him.”

Soonyoung blinked. “Shua hyung?”

“Joshua hyung,” Seokmin said helpfully. “It’s a nickname for him.”

“No, I got that part. It’s just…” Soonyoung trailed off, and he and Jihoon shared a significant look, one that Seokmin couldn’t decipher. “Anyways, that’s okay. Just tell him not to tell anyone else, you know?”

“Moving on, though,” Jihoon said, swiftly changing the subject, a slight twinkle in his irises, “I have another track I’m making right now, Seokmin, and I was wondering…”

“Oh, hell no. One is enough for me. Get Seungkwan to do it!”

───────────── ‘✷,

Seokmin flopped down onto the sofa, breathing out contentedly as he wriggled around amongst the mess of cushions until he was more comfortable.

“Ah, this is so nice.”

“I’m so glad to see you making yourself at home on my sofa,” Jeonghan remarked drily, coming into the room carrying a plate of biscuits. “Also, move over or I’m not giving you any cookies.”

“Cookies!” Immediately, Seokmin shot upright again, zeroing in on the plate as Jeonghan set it on the coffee table, grabbing one and stuffing it into his mouth. Around the mouthful of crumbs, he said, “Thanks, Jeonghan hyung!”

Jeonghan just laughed, selecting his own biscuit and curling up on the sofa. “Of course, Seokmin. I love feeding my cookie-loving gremlin every time he decides to barge into my house and steal all my snacks.” Before Seokmin had a chance to protest at the description, he shoved another biscuit into the teacher’s hands. “Anyways, to what do I owe the pleasure of your visit?”

“Just ‘cause,” Seokmin said brightly. “Also Soonyoung hyung’s at the studio, and being at home by myself is so boring.”

“I’m being your surrogate roommate, hm?” Jeonghan teased. “Well, you’re in luck, because my housemate has disappeared too. Joshuji’s at church, so it’s just only lonely me, all by myself.”

“Not anymore, though!” Seokmin chirped, and then threw himself into Jeonghan’s personal space, cuddling up against his shoulder. “Don’t worry, Jeonghan hyung! Seokminnie is here!”

Jeonghan laughed and let Seokmin squish himself into his side. “Lucky me.”

There was a short silence then, as Seokmin squashed himself as close to Jeonghan as possible, and Jeonghan focused on nibbling his way through his biscuit. It was a lazy day, a calm day, but Seokmin’s thoughts were running, racing through conversation threads even as Jeonghan seemed content to just sit in silence for hours until Seokmin decided to go home.

But Seokmin couldn’t go home without at least trying to talk Jeonghan’s ear off.

“I’m gonna set my seniors an essay on the Iliad next week,” he said suddenly, his brain latching onto any old thought thread it could find and running with it.

Jeonghan laughed. “Your students are going to love you for that.”

“They will!” Seokmin insisted, pulling away from Jeonghan’s side to sit up properly. “It’s on the theme of ‘love’. They’re all obsessed with that theme in this book. Which is weird,” he added thoughtfully, “because I thought that they’d be more interested in the war and the anger and the moral struggles in it.”

Jeonghan shrugged, leaning back and gesturing dramatically with his half-eaten cookie. “What is love if not the biggest moral struggle of all?”

Seokmin laughed, flopping back down so his head was resting on the armrest, nestled amongst the cushions once more. “You’re right, though. Especially with Aphrodite being the main cause of the Trojan War. She’s basically the reason behind all their problems.”

“Really?” Jeonghan said. “And I thought the goddess of love was meant to be kind.”

“Kind?” Seokmin repeated. “She’s horrible. Unpredictable. Definitely an inconvenience, and mostly a nuisance.” He paused, and then continued, “But that’s what love is, I guess. You can’t pin down love. Sometimes it’s beautiful, and other times it’s painful, almost heart-wrenchingly so, and you can never be prepared for it.”

Jeonghan watched Seokmin talk, an almost parental fondness colouring his gaze, like a mother watching her child explain something they were incredibly passionate about.

“Love is often confusing, too,” Seokmin said. He wasn’t looking at Jeonghan anymore, directing most of his thoughtful musings to the ceiling, hands waving around. “And can be confused. With desire, lust, anger, hatred. There’s a very fine line, you know?” He lifted his head up to look at Jeonghan. “Maybe that’s why love and war are such prominent themes in the poem.”

Jeonghan just smiled. “Really?”

“Yeah! Loving brings a desire for safety, for comfort, and sometimes, people can be so desperately in love that they’ll do anything to have that comfort,” Seokmin said. “And other times—well, most of the time—people are willing to be soft for that love. They turn soft, craving that gentleness and reflecting it in the way they act around the person they most want to be loved by. And if that person disappears… well, then you harden your heart, and find you don’t want to love anyone ever again.” Seokmin clasped his hands together. “That’s what Achilles does, by the way.”

“Wow. That’s so fascinating,” Jeonghan said, nibbling at his cookie again. “Tell me more.”

And Seokmin did. It was nice, to analyse aloud, but also to analyse aloud with Jeonghan. The elder didn’t provide much to the conversation, simply sitting there and smiling and asking Seokmin to tell him more, but it was nice. 

It made his thoughts drift to Joshua, just momentarily. Thinking of how Joshua would have listened to him talk. Of how Joshua’s eyes would have followed his every move, how he would have smiled and hummed interestedly and let Seokmin talk, and talk, and talk, and talk.

An hour later, Seokmin was still talking, and as Jeonghan continued to blink unmovingly at him, he wondered whether the elder had managed to fall asleep with his eyes open.

“—so I think it’s only logical that Seungcheol hyung is Zeus,” Seokmin finished. “Jupiter. He’s a scary, scary guy, but also everyone loves him and knows about him ‘cause he’s so huge.”

Then Jeonghan’s head turned. “Okay, are you talking about the god or the planet here?” he asked. Definitely not sleeping, then, Seokmin concluded, pleased. That meant his entire rant about which god each of their friends were hadn’t gone unheard.

“Both,” Seokmin said cheerfully. “Seungcheol hyung is both the planet Jupiter and the god!”

Jeonghan chuckled, leaning back. “If you say so.” He pursed his lips, thinking, and then tapped Seokmin on the knee. “You’re the sun god for sure, though.”

“Who, me?” Seokmin tilted his head, and then beamed. “Aw, thanks hyung. Also, did you know that Apollo is the only god of the classic pantheon to have the same name in both Greek and Roman mythology?”

Jeonghan smiled. “I don’t know what that means. I do know, however,” he added, “that you’re as bright and lovely as the sun, and fill up the entire room with light the moment you walk inside. Everyone gravitates towards you, attracted by your energy, and people always love being with you.”

Seokmin blinked, not expecting such a sudden onslaught of compliments from Jeonghan. “Really? You really think so?”

“Of course.” Jeonghan’s smile turned a little knowing, a little devious, eyes glittering like ripple waves on a lake. “And you know what you said about love before? I think the Sun would want a gentle love. Where someone softens themselves in the Sun’s presence.”

Seokmin hummed contemplatively, sitting up. “A gentle love? Who’d love the Sun like that, though?”

“A Venus,” Jeonghan said, smiling wider. “I think the Sun would be best loved by a Venus.”

That made Seokmin pause, frowning thoughtfully, before a slow smile spread across his face. “I like your thinking, hyung! I guess you really were listening to me while I was talking, huh? I’m impressed.”

Jeonghan pointedly ignored the jab, and simply shrugged. “The Sun would love Venus very much, too,” he said. “And the Venus would love you as easily as breathing. Because Venus is basically the god of love, right? They’d love you a lot.”

Seokmin blinked once, and then twice, before his eyes widened. “Wait, are you still talking about me? I thought you were doing general analysis!”

“I’m talking about anything you want me to talk about,” Jeonghan returned, adjusting himself on the sofa. His ass was starting to hurt from sitting in the same position for too long. “But I think the Sun would dote on the Venus and think they’re incredible, and the Venus would love the Sun immensely and devastatingly gently.” 

Seokmin’s face was contemplative for a moment, thinking over Jeonghan’s words. Jeonghan could almost see him trying to figure out what was going on, what Jeonghan meant, where all this was going. Eventually, though, he seemed to give up, his gaze becoming unfocused and the corners of his lips turning wistful as he wondered.

Jeonghan wondered who Seokmin was thinking about.

“Do you really think so?” Seokmin asked, turning to Jeonghan, and his eyes were wide, voice hushed, like he couldn’t even believe it.

At that moment, the front door opened, and there were a few moments of rustling sounds before Joshua peered into the living room, back home from visiting the church, and Jeonghan watched as Joshua’s eyes softened almost instantly and Seokmin’s entire being lit up as they made eye contact, and he smiled to himself.

“Yeah,” he said, but no one was listening to him anymore. Joshua and Seokmin were already in their own world, as Seokmin leapt from the sofa to bound over and ask the elder about his day. Jeonghan just smiled even wider. “I do think so.”

taglist (send ask to be added): @fairyhaos @atinycupofpositivitea @my-moarmy-heart @weird-life-of-a-closet-fangirl @lilsafsafbooyah @stqrrgirle @bittersweet-folder @weird-bookworm @ultrara-re @tianakings @bangantokchy @tiinkerbell @ahuiahoe @leigh-darling

[genericpuff]

Alright, update on the tablet situation, I do NOT have good news but there are some silver linings.

First off, thank you all so much for your patience. That one week I took off to relax seemed to be an invitation for the universe to fuck with my shit because my tablet literally chose the worst time to get on my nerves ( This is totally not something I'm gonna bring up with my therapist as proof that I'm not allowed to rest /s) I've tried just about everything to get it working again, I got a replacement 3-in-1 cable and even that didn't do anything, so I've ordered in a new pen, but that's not due to show up for another week or two.

However, I do not want to wait a week or two on the off chance that a new pen even solves the problem.

So the GOOD NEWS in all this is that I do still have my iPad. It wasn't setup with Clip Studio Paint because I own a perpetual license for my PC, but seeing as how now I can't use it on my PC (at least not with my tablet pen) I've gone ahead and setup the mobile version on my tablet, thankfully I got a discount because I already own a perpetual license but it's still gonna cost me $10/month so that's yet another subscription to slap on the 'ole credit card.

Now that does mean I have to go through the painstaking efforts of moving everything from my PC onto my tablet, but thankfully that issue is easily solved with cloud backups and transferring. Really all I need to be able to do is draw, I can still do speech bubbles and text input and texture overlays and all that post-production stuff on my PC, but anything that requires actual drawing I'm gonna be using my iPad for. So please, don't mind if you notice some weird little art differences between Episode 30 and 29, I'm adjusting to a new workflow! It shouldn't be too bad because I'll still be using the exact same brushes and textures and all that fun stuff that I do on my PC, it just comes with the adjustment of drawing primarily on iPad, which I don't normally do (I usually only draw on my iPad for tattooing and that's in Procreate which I still suck at using outside of lineart LMAO)

This is a very stressful situation that I'm hoping will only be temporary until I get that new tablet pen, and if THAT doesn't solve the issue, then I'm gonna have to start shopping for a new tablet entirely, and that's not something I can do immediately because I'm already starting to struggle financially due to the slow season creeping in at work and I'm still paying off that new PC I put down on layaway (which I'm regretting already). All that said, if you want to help a pal out, please consider tossing a dollar or two at me on my Ko-Fi, it's all gonna go towards a new drawing tablet if I need it (and if the pen solves the issue, then you'll be helping me stay afloat so I can keep bringing you guys the good shit LOL)

What's wild is that in all my Google searching, I found a thread from two months ago with literally the EXACT same issue, under the exact same conditions, in which OP's tablet pen unexpectedly stopped registering with their Huion Kamvas 22 Plus that they had owned for two years. According to them, it did start working again, after resetting the PC and re-installing the driver over and over again, but I've already done that myself a ton of times and I'm tired of being let down and that doesn't seem like a "real" solution beyond luck, so I'm gonna take a break from doing that while I get my iPad set up. I have the sneaking suspicion this might have to do with some recent Windows updates that just rolled out, my PC had definitely gone through a couple leading up to the malfunction. This wouldn't be the first time Microsoft has fucked with my tablet functionality so I literally wouldn't be surprised if it was something like that. Either that, or the '2' in Kamvas 22 stands for "will only last for 2 years before stopping entirely" LOL

Anyways, that's all for now. Thank you all so much for your patience and understanding through all this. While I don't want to have to reduce the quality or frequency of what I put out for you guys due to technical issues, I also don't want the comic to stop entirely, so if this turns into one of those desperate situations where I'm delivering you guys episodes of Rekindled drawn on a Nintendo DS, so be it. I'm not gonna let this beat me.

[scriv3lloirl]

Your response to my first ask made my day, I cheered and jumped for joy (I didn’t literally jump since I read it in the car, but you get the idea). Sorry I read it an hour late, I didn’t get the notification 😔 Also I hope it’s fine I’m sending a response, I don’t know if you saw the tags I reblogged with and also talking with you just seems delightful so yeah—but if I’m ever annoying or a bother just let me know and I’ll stop! :)

Bit of a fun fact is we had a fall/winter musical theatre showcase on December 19 and I actually sang Dentist! for it! It was my first time singing or performing in front of people (shocker that the guy with social anxiety also has stage fright), but it went well! :D There’s gonna be another showcase in April and I’m hoping to sing as Audrey || in Feed Me (Git It!) and mayhaps Mean Green Mother from Outer Space as well, but I don’t even know when auditions for it are yet so we’ll see what happens for that.

Saw your last post and hope rehearsal went well! They can be exhausting so hope you rest up well. I’d draw fanart for you but my drawing skills aren’t too good yet, I like drawing and want to improve but as of now yeah—I could write you like a Little Shop of Horrors fanfic if you want though? Like if you got any requests I could try, but just to warn you motivation’s a struggle with me…but I’d try for ya.

You thought you ramble? Try my autistic ass, I yap a lot and sorry that this proves my point 😅 Rest up and enjoy yourself :)

I always try t' match m' responses t' th' length of th' ask I receive so.. hopefully I did that.

This is such a sweet ask, thank you. N I'm 100% fine wit responses! I actually encourage them. I might not always respond right on time (seein as this ask has been sittin in m' inbox fer a few days,) but I always get around t' em!!

Don' worry, I see yer' tags when ya reblog m' posts. I always love readin folks comments when they do that. Makes me smile. N I promise ya ain't ev'r gonna be annoyin, sweetheart. I love receivin notifications from ya. It's nice.

'Dentist!' is such a fun song t' sing, n I promise thas' not me jus sayin that. I bet you sounded awesome! Th' first song I ev'r sang in front of folks was, funnily enough (at least t' me,) 'Suddenly, Seymour.'

Dunno if anyone else finds humor in that like I do, but I sang Audrey's part in a karaoke. You be sure t' keep me updated on that showcase, lemme know what song ya pick n how it goes when ya audition!

You don' gotta make me fanart if ya don' want, or a fanfic, but thas' quite th' offer. I'll be sure t' keep that in mind, but I'm sure yer drawin skills are great! Not forcin ya or anythin, but I'd love t' see some art you've if y'ur willin t' share.

Motivations always a struggle fer us too, we burn out so damn quick it's almost embarrassin. Right now we're kinda forcin ourselves t' draw jus so we can make a few posts later but God.. I'm not proud of how any of them look, lemme be so honest. I'm sure you'll see one up later t'day actually.

Anyway. I'm distractin m'self so I'm gonna post this b'fore I muck somethin up.

(I ain't gonna reread this again fer th' 5th time again, so forgive me fer any sorta spellin errors n th' like.)

[shinydelirium]

hi, just wanna say that without the essays and analysis people as you have published here, I wouldn't love Kiro as much as I do nowadays, he's my precious sunshine. I don't really expect anything from Papergames as a company, so I'm keeping my little treasures regardless of what's gonna come out of it in the end. do you plan in the future to explain what you think ended up going downhill with the direction of the game you have briefly mentioned?

Hello @ladyjune26! Thanks for the ask and being so very patient with me on answering. Here are the major complaints/pet peeves I have with what Papergames has done and continues to do to lessen my love of the game and their treatment of Kiro as a main love interest: *WARNING* LOTS OF RANTING AHEAD

Kiro always being the "odd one out of the bunch" in regards to karmas: Honestly, why did Papergames think it was a good idea to do this? I can tell which love interest they favor most over Kiro just from looking at the karma illustrations during group events. It's almost like they use a different filter on them or use a different artist completely to draw his karmas cuz his stick out like a sore thumb. A perfect example would be from last year's Xmas/New Year's event (Modern Rhapsody) where all the guys get stylish hairstyles and Kiro gets the short end of the stick. They forgot he's a main love interest and now he's just an afterthought. Another example is the Valentine's event where all the guys get kiss karmas and say "I love you". All the guys have open-mouth kisses with their eyes open and once again they don't do that with Kiro. IS IT REALLY THAT DIFFICULT TO BE CONSISTENT!?!?! MAKE IT MAKE SENSE!!! Plus, why can't they ever draw MC in gorgeous outfits or hot and intimate scenes with Kiro? She constantly looks plain and boring in many of them. Her relationship with Kiro is no longer friends anymore. THEY'RE LOVERS!!! Also, no creativity. There's a lot of karmas where they draw the same old stuff in them like a teddy bear, daisies, sunflowers....COME ON!!! THOSE AREN'T THE ONLY THINGS GOING FOR HIM!!! 'The Versatile King' my ass!!! Don't make statements like those if you can't even fulfill them. If they need ideas for karmas I have plenty...no wait, they already used them for the other love interests which leads to the next point.

Kiro has been reduced to a minor character/NPC role: In season 1 main story, Kiro had the least amount of screen time. I remember a Weibo post where a CN player calculated how much total screen time he had and it was 80 minutes! I haven't exactly tested if this was true but I've seen many CN fans mention this. Also, throughout season 1, his major plot points were all put into Rumors and Secrets and they're still doing it in season 2. And don't get me started on how much repetitiveness on certain aspects of his character...ISTG, I'VE NEVER SEEN SO MANY METAPHORS ABOUT A BEAR IN MY LIFE!!! Starting to see the pattern now?

Nothing gets changed when Kiro fans address issues: There was a time when during one of Gavin's bday karmas, his fans were hounding customer service to add the gingko bracelet to MC's wrist and within a very short period of time, it was done. However, whenever Kiro fans want something changed, nothing, ABSOLUTELY NOTHING, gets done. A while back, there was a magazine advertising the game and for some very strange reason, they typed Kiro's name wrong and his birthdate. The entire Weibo page was just post after post about it. There's no excuse for such a small mistake which could have easily been avoided.

His karmas are released last: Whether it's the Fragrant Sunshine ERs, solo Wish Tree events, or in general, Kiro tends to be the last one scheduled. So far, he has not had a single free SR/SSR karma this year and it's already July. When the first kiss karmas were released several years ago, Kiro was once again the last one released.

Storyline and character arc: Are they ever going to address how Kiro can change into his silver-haired Helios form? Why does he have those markings on his right arm and how can they appear and disappear whenever? Is he ever going to find his master KEY? Why does Kiro look so much like his master KEY who was the previous Helios? Does that mean KEY also had blue eyes? What is this mission they keep teasing about? HELL, HIS ORIGINS!?!? There's been no story development whatsoever and they keep reusing the same stuff in the chapters. What happened to all that awesome character development in the first half of season 2? Crumbs keep dropping but it leads to nowhere. Here's a hot take: Westmoon had a much better, cohesive story overall. I am forever sad that it's over. If it isn't already obvious, the writers are heavily milking the main story. As much as I don't like season 1, at least it was more entertaining and mysterious especially when MC "died" and ended up in Winter World where all the love interests didn't know her. They should have continued from there. It would have been interesting to see how the relationships developed and MC ended up staying despite everything. Did she have to go back to the "main world"? There's just too many questions or maybe I'm being too analytical.

Kiro is constantly paired with Victor or Gavin during top-up karmas: Mostly he's paired with Victor and outshines Kiro's karmas in art style even if Kiro's karma is a SSR one. What are you trying to say Papergames? Always catering to the love interests who are the most popular in the fandom and give you the most money. I never see Kiro paired with Lucien. The unfairness is through the roof when this happens.

Dates that coincide with Main Story: For real though. Whatever happened with that? I remember there were a handful of these dates that follow-up with events that occurred during the main storyline (i.e. Light Pursuit- God tier date👌and Clinic date). PG completely did away with them for some reason. It gave so much insight and fleshed out Kiro's character more. I have yet to see a SINGLE date in season 2 that does this.

That's pretty much all the major issues I've come across. There are others but I've done enough nit-picking. However, don't let my opinions sway your enjoyment of the game. If you still like it, then please by all means, continue to play. Hope you have a wonderful day and take care!