#me + denise + one hour of gossip that’s all i ask for

[abiiors]

well then 😭😭

[gaymy-raudenfeld]

Home is Where the Heart Is

I’m posting a little late, even by American standards, but I made it in time! A merry pitchmas to @snowbritt and all of you wonderful people. I haven’t posted any fanfic in a while so this may be a bit rusty.

Summary: When the Bellas find out they’ll be getting a house and sharing bedrooms, Beca tries to use the opportunity to get close to Chloe. When she doesn’t act fast enough, she spends the following months pining after Chloe and trying to find a chance to get close to her. Beca gets her wish in an unexpected way.

Rating: T

Word Count: 3.1k

“Dear Barden Bellas,

Due to your recent streak of wins at the ICCA finals, we have decided it is only fair to award you the way we have awarded our other prestigious acapella groups in the past. We have secured the funding and approval to build a lodging house for all current and future Bellas to reside in throughout their time at Barden University. The proposed blueprints are attached…”

Beca was cut off by the screaming. The girls couldn’t believe it. They had won back-to-back ICCA championships and now they were being given their very own building. They could finally practice outside Barden’s tiny black box theatre, free from the drama kids who kicked them out so they could rehearse and the motion lights that sometimes left them singing in the dark, like some kind of cult-

“Wait a minute,” Fat Amy interrupted everybody celebrating, “this floor plan only includes six bedrooms.”

“Well then I guess we’re gonna have to double up.” Cynthia Rose said, eyeing Stacie.

“I wanna be with Jessica.” “I wanna be with Ashley.” Ashley and Jessica said at the same time.

“And we have to save one room for the new Bellas.” Beca added. The girls began to talk amongst themselves again when Fat Amy quietly approached Beca.

“How about it, shortstack?” She said, leaning in. “I promise to give you ample warning about any gentleman callers I may have.”

“Yes… I mean no… I mean what?”

“This is like the third time I’ve caught you daydreaming today; you have GOT to tell me what is on your mind before you wander into traffic or something.”

“How is telling you gonna stop me from wandering into traffic?”

“It’s not, but I won’t be able to hear your gossip if you’re in a coma.”

Beca sighed and lowered her voice even further. “Listen, if I promise to give you more details later, will you be chill about letting me room with Chloe?”

“Chloe?” Fat Amy questioned. “She takes forever to get ready before every practice and recital, which YOU were complaining about just last week. Are you sure you’ll be able to deal with Chloe’s daily makeup routine when you’re sharing a bathroom?”

“It’s not that big of a deal, I could get used to it.” Beca shrugged.

“What’s going on?”

They were interrupted by Stacie calling everyone to attention. “Okay! So the room assignments are gonna be one free room for new recruits, Ashley & Jessica, Denise & Cynthia Rose, Fat Amy & Beca, me & Chloe, and… Lilly sleeps in a room by herself. We all good with that?” The Bellas voiced their agreement.

“Fuck.” Beca muttered to herself.

The girls began to scatter, some still chattering excitedly about the Bella House, which would be ready by the Fall semester. When almost everyone had cleared, Fat Amy turned back to Beca. “You wanna tell me what that was about?”

“I may have… developed a crush on a certain Bella.” Beca said, turning beet red.

“No way!” Fat Amy whisper-yelled. “Let me guess. Is it Stacie? Her legs are about as long as you are, so you get a good view.”

“It is NOT Stacie. Although you do have a good point about the view.”

“Well who is it then?”

Beca took in a deep breath, preparing to unload her secret. She breathed again, and as she exhaled, she said “Chloe.”

“Chloe?? Of course! The first time you met you were naked and it did something to you, psychologically.”

“It was the second time, and she just, wouldn’t leave my shower until I sang with her and I did and then I joined the Bellas and everything was totally fine.”

“And you JUST developed this crush?”

“It’s possible I was too traumatized by the event to understand my feelings until recently.”

“Yeah, or you’re just a clueless girl who fell in love with an even more clueless boy for like, eight months before you broke up because you realized you have feelings for a girl in your acapella group. Which, by the way, was bound to happen, with the amount of time the nine of us spend together.”

“Damn Amy, have you actually been paying attention in your psychology class?”

“Enough to know that you’ve got the hots for your redheaded best friend, and your life is only gonna get worse if you don’t tell her about it.”

“What do I even say?”

“That one’s on you, loverboy. Now, I gotta get out of here and meet a gentleman caller.”

Beca quirked an eyebrow. She was going to need to find a way to tell Chloe her feelings before the living arrangements were settled.

-

Beca did not find a way to tell Chloe her feelings before the living arrangements were settled.

Fall came in the blink of an eye and she found herself face-to-face with a slew of problems, including arranging new Bellas routines, her music theory professor who seemed to have it out for her, and the fact that she had a growing crush on her best friend and acapella group co-leader. Things were off to a great start.

The summer spent apart had only deepened Beca’s feelings, which was irritating. It didn’t help that she and Chloe spent a ton of time together choreographing dances for the competitions later in the year. Whenever the girls had to pair up, Chloe walked straight to Beca, grabbing her wrists with intention. Like she knew exactly what she was doing. Like she belonged there.

“Bec?” Chloe had clearly been trying to get Beca’s attention.

“Huh? What?” Beca’s train of thought was broken.

“Are you ready to show them the moves we came up with?”

Beca nodded eagerly, attempting to make up for spacing out earlier. “Yep. Totally. Let’s do this.”

Chloe started leading Beca around the makeshift rehearsal area they had created in the Bella House’s living room. They had to move the couches around and it wasn’t as big as Barden’s black box but at least it didn’t smell like feet. It was easier to focus on what was in front of her, which, at the moment, was a certain redhead.

Chloe smelled like clean laundry and cherry blossoms, a product of the showers that were much easier to take now that she didn’t have to use a communal bathroom built for thirty people. Chloe may take a while to get ready, but Stacie takes even longer, and sometimes Chloe walks down the hall to Beca and Amy’s room and borrows their shower. Their bathroom smells like vanilla and cherry blossoms for hours afterward, and it drives Beca nuts in the best way possible. She watched Chloe perform the new routine with confidence, poise, and accuracy, and she felt her breath hitch in her chest.

What she didn’t feel was the edge of the coffee table as she tripped and fell backward onto its hard surface, banging her head. After everyone’s initial shock had passed, they went to check on Beca to make sure she was okay.

“I’m fine.” Beca stated assuredly. “Really, the worst thing I hurt is my ego.”

“Your head sounded like a bowling ball hitting the floor” Lilly said, almost imperceptibly.

“BECA!” Fat Amy shouted. “CAN YOU SAY YOUR A-B-C’S BACKWARDS?” She was speaking more slowly than normal.

“You know I can hear you right?”

“And isn’t that supposed to be for sobriety tests?” Cynthia Rose asked.

While they had been chatting, Chloe had sat down next to Beca and helped her sit up. She had her hand on Beca’s back, propping her up just in case she felt dizzy.

“Are you okay?” Chloe asked concernedly.

“I’m fine,” Beca repeated, much softer this time, “really.”

Chloe was looking into Beca’s eyes, just checking her pupils. Such a clinical action, but Chloe made it seem so tender. She ran her hand up Beca’s neck to the back of her head, feeling for any irregularities. Beca felt chills run up her spine as Chloe rubbed her fingers across her scalp. She hoped she wasn’t being too obvious.

Chloe pulled back. “The bad news is you might have a small concussion. The good news is that lump on your head just may make you taller.”

“Ha-ha.” Beca fake laughed.

Stacie chimed in, “I had a concussion once and my doctor told me not to sleep. Wait. It was either my doctor or my mom. I don’t remember.”

“I think the best thing for Beca to do is to go lie down.” Cynthia Rose added.

“Does that have anything to do with you not wanting to practice the new routine?” Beca quipped from the table.

“If I carry you to your room can I not answer that question?” Cynthia Rose replied.

“Fair enough.”

Cynthia Rose crossed the living room to scoop Beca into her arms, and was about to lift her off the table when Fat Amy piped up. “Uh, um, Beca can’t stay in our room.”

“Why not?” Beca squinted at her roommate.

“Because… I’m going to have... a gentleman caller….. or two….. this evening.” She began to trail off near the end.

“Right on.” Stacie nodded in Fat Amy’s direction.

“Okay so where am I taking Beca to?” Cynthia Rose asked, still positioned to lift Beca.

“How about my room?” Chloe, who had been sitting quietly next to Beca for some time now finally rejoined the conversation.

Beca tried to be cool, looking at Stacie. “Is that alright?”

Stacie nodded. “Yeah, sure, I was planning on going out after this anyway.”

“Great, then it’s settled.” Cynthia Rose said. “I’m carrying Beca to Chloe’s room.”

-

They quickly discovered that Cynthia Rose couldn’t carry Beca up the stairs wedding-style. So it turned into Chloe and Cynthia Rose flanking Beca on each side in case she became dizzy after hitting her head.

“I feel like a fucking hospice patient.” Beca half-joked as they reached Chloe’s room and they helped her lie down on the bed.

“I got it from here, C. Rose thank you.” Chloe said, ushering her out and gently closing the door behind her. She turned off most of the lights in the room except for some string lights and a single lamp that emitted a soft pink glow.

“Wow, you went hardcore doctor out there.” Beca said a bit jokingly.

“This is like, my seventh year of school. If I can’t recognize a concussion when I see one I should just quit now and go back to clown camp with Aubrey.”

“Yeah I… I’m sorry BACK to clown camp?!?”

“It was a dark summer in middle school.”

“You owe me a story Beale.”

“I don’t owe you anything Mitchell.”

The two locked eyes from across the room and Beca felt her heart jump into her throat again. Good thing she was already lying down this time; nowhere to fall.

Beca relented. “How about an ice pack?”

Chloe nodded, a contented look crossing her face. “That I can do.”

She returned moments later with an ice pack, an extra blanket, and a box of chocolate chip cookies.

“Oh my God.” Beca stated when she saw the care package Chloe had assembled for her.

“I thought you might want the rest of these before they were devoured.” Chloe said, handing Beca the cookies.

Beca quickly opened the package and grabbed a cookie to chow down on. As she was popping the dessert into her mouth, she unthinkingly said “I love you.”

“I love you too.” Chloe said, perched on the side of her bed. She seemed more sincere than Beca was expecting. She awkwardly swallowed the large bite of cookie she had in her mouth in an attempt to change the topic as quickly as possible.

“So I’m concussed?” Beca asked, reaching for the blanket to put over her legs.

“Yep.” Chloe stated. “Couldn’t keep up with my choreo, huh?” She winked, handing Beca the ice pack. Beca didn’t want to talk about the real reason she injured herself: that she was too busy watching Chloe dance to pay attention to her own feet.

“You know I’m a notoriously bad dancer.”

“Is that why you always need my help during practice?”

“Yeah, if it wasn’t for you I would have done this like ten times already. I’m taking advantage of your veterinary health training.”

“Always good to be able to practice on someone who can give me feedback.”

“As long as you don’t shove a thermometer up my ass.”

“Well, Stacie IS gone for the rest of the night…”

“Watch it, Beale.”

The pair laughed for a second before settling into a comfortable silence. Chloe sat on the edge of the bed, tracing swirling patterns in her sheets. Beca looked around at the room she missed out on at the end of the last semester. It wasn’t all that different from her own; the only important difference was the girl she was in the room with.

When it became clear that Chloe wasn’t going to leave, Beca began to ask questions. “No plans tonight, huh? You’re not having a tinder-venture like Stacie or whatever the hell Amy is doing in our bedroom?”

Chloe chuckled. “No, nothing like that. I haven’t really gone out on a date in a while. Besides, I want to make sure you’re okay!” Chloe moved closer and fussed with Beca’s blanket.

“I appreciate the gesture, Chlo, but you’ve definitely got better things to be doing on a Friday night.” “Nothing more important than you.” Chloe looked up, meeting Beca’s eyes and offering a smile. Beca sheepishly looked away. Was that as serious as it sounded? Probably not, right?

“Do you mind if I…?” Chloe trailed off, motioning to her covers.

“Do I mind if you sleep in your own bed? No, not at all, just help me get over into Stacie’s bed.” Beca began to push herself up with her arms.

“You don’t have to move, actually.” Chloe said. Another surprise.

“Are you sure? It’s not that big of a deal.”

“Please, Beca. It’ll be easier. I’ll even let you be the little spoon.”

Beca scoffed. “What makes you think I want to be the little spoon?”

“Don’t you?”

Beca hesitated. “…….Fine.” She scooted over and allowed Chloe to slide in next to her. She could feel the warmth from Chloe’s body contrasting the ice pack she had been holding to her head.

“Is this good for concussions too?”

“Yep. Vet’s orders.” Chloe said as she settled in.

After a few minutes had passed, Beca spoke again.

“You know, I wanted this room really bad before we all moved in together.”

“Really? Aw Bec, you should have said something sooner. I’m sure Stacie and I would have been fine in your room-”

“It’s not really about the room. More like, the roommate.” Beca felt her stomach drop as she began to hint at her feelings for Chloe.

“Oh.” Chloe just said back.

Oh God. Oh fuck I’ve ruined everything I can’t believe I just came onto her like that-

”That’s really sweet of you Bec.”

Beca couldn’t believe it. The world was still intact, somehow. She inched backward into Chloe, and felt the redhead silently move closer to her at the same time. They fell asleep with their legs tangled, both tired from the long day.

-

The next morning Beca woke up early to a throbbing in the back of her head.

Ah, fuck. Beca thought to herself as she reached back to rub the tender part of her scalp, still half asleep. She was surprised to grab onto a face just behind her own.

“Good morning to you too.” Chloe said, muffled by Beca’s hand.

Beca turned over. “Shit. Sorry about that. What time is it?”

“Like… 8:30 on a Saturday. Are you late for morning yoga?”

“Fuck you.” Beca laughed and poked Chloe’s shoulder. “Ah man. I really stayed in here the whole night.”

“And you only snored a little bit.” Chloe joked, still lying down on the pillow.

“She’s feisty in the morning!” Beca retorted, eliciting a smile from Chloe. They were face to face now. Inches from each other. Beca watched the soft morning light filter in over Chloe’s face. Her hair was shining. She could see each fleck of gold in Chloe’s big blue eyes. Beca couldn’t help but think how beautiful she looked.

The moments passed by silently as the girls enjoyed the most intimate moment either of them had experienced in a long time.

“Beca?”

“Yeah Chloe?”

“Would you be okay if I kissed you right now?”

Beca didn’t even give herself time to think before blurting out “Yes.” And in an instant, Chloe’s mouth was on hers. The kisses were delicate and sleepy, but full of the spark that had been building between them since the first time they sang together. When they needed to pull away for air, Beca took a moment to marvel at what was happening. “Woah.” She said, a look of incredulity on her face. “Did Chloe Beale just kiss me?”

Chloe nodded and the biggest smile spread across her face. “Sure did, Beca Mitchell.”

Chloe dove back in for more kisses and Beca eagerly responded, only interrupted by Beca’s brief cries of pain when Chloe’s hand accidentally wandered to the bump on the back of her head.

-

That afternoon Beca made her way back down the hall to her bedroom so she could get ready for the day. She ran into Fat Amy eating a popsicle on her bed.

“Amy, you’ll never believe what happened this morning.” Beca began.

“Let me guess, you finally sealed the deal with ginger?”

“How did-“

“It was my plan all along Beca! Do you think it’s a coincidence that I kicked you out of the room last night?”

“I thought you were seeing someone. ones. whatever.”

“I lied so you could get into Chloe’s room and make some music with your mouths.”

“Amy!”

“I TOLD you I would always give you ample warning when I had any gentleman callers! Because I’m a decent roommate, Beca, and I’m even better because I got you hooked up with your ladycrush.”

“Was it your plan for me to get a concussion too?”

“Sometimes you just have to seize the moment.” Fat Amy said, swinging her popsicle around emphatically.

“Wait a minute. Aren’t those the ones I bought?” Beca said, nodding at the popsicle.

“Ah yeah. See. I may have taken the last one as a reward for being a fantastic matchmaker-slash-roommate. I figured helping you get with Chloe would outweigh my poor decisions.”

Beca rolled her eyes. “You’re lucky Chloe is so great, otherwise you would owe me a new box of popsicles.”

The End.

[doof-doofblog]

"She Don't Scare Me No More!"

Monday 17th May 2021

Hello everyone! I realise this post is quite late, I've been working so many hours under the sun recently, I'm finding very little time to sit and make a post. So for the meantime, I'll probably be doing catch up posts, I'll still notify you on any EastEnders news making headlines etc! But before we jump into this week, we need to recap on the happenings of last week's epic episodes following Ben & Callum's wedding. It was eventually revealed that it was actually Kat who Whitney ran Gray's car into. But the main thing that been playing on my mind, and possibly you guys also - that car has now become interest in the hit and run, the police know that the car belongs to Gray, do you think if they do tests on it they'll find some form of DNA from Tina Carter??? Could this be the beginning of Gray's demise?! Of course I'm just speculating, but I'm sure you'll all agree that it's about time that Gray got captured!

Other than this unexpected hit and run, Ben and Callum's wedding went off without a hitch, other than Phil learning about Callum betraying the Mitchell family, but after what's happened to Kat, is Phil going to let this one with Callum slide? Or is he going to make Callum know that he hasn't been forgiven? Oh and speaking of Phil and Kat, it looks as if their relationship is hot gossip, as now Kathy, Linda and Sharon are all aware about their fling. When Phil steps into the ambulance with Kat, he looked genuinely concerned for her - do you think it's possible that he's fallen deeply for Kat?!

Also which has also grabbed my attention is the new, I guess you could call it a promo picture, of Janine's return to Albert Square! It makes it feel much more real now, knowing that she's returning to the Square, as far as I'm aware there has been a lot of gossip with people assuming that Janine could be the one to bring down Gray!! What do you guys think of the new picture?! Are you excited for Janine's return as much as I am? I'm looking forward to hearing your thoughts on this particular subject!

Lastly, before we focus on Monday's episode, another spoiler I have heard is regarding Bernie. We know that Bernadette has offered to be Stuart and Rainie's surrogate as she knows her family are in desperate need for the money on offer. But during a recent episode, a doctor/nurse informed Bernie that for her to have a successful pregnancy, she needs to lose weight. Rainie wasn't best pleased when she learned that Bernie had suffered miscarriage a while back, could it have been due to her weight? However, as much as Bernie is eager to please Stuart and Rainie and help both them out as well as her family, it seems that Bernadette is going to suffer from some kind of eating disorder - could it be bulimia? I happened to notice that  she recently went to throw away a piece of toast but Mitch and Karen stopped her before she could. Could this be the beginning of Bernadette's eating disorder storyline?!

Now focusing on Monday's episode, quite a lot of different things happened, but first I'm going to start off with the happy news that Bailey was finally found safe and well. The Taylor have been completely distraught by her disappearance and being going out of their minds with worry. However, during the last couple of days, unbeknown to them, Amy has been hiding Bailey at the allotments. The one thing that I never really understood is that Amy knew her family we worried sick, so why would she lie to Bailey informing her that her Dad was angry at her for running away, suggesting that she stays away a bit longer. 

But Denise happened to notice Amy's behaviour and become increasingly suspicious of her. Amy has been nicking food from all sorts of different stalls for Bailey, so when Denise catches her out in the street and asking why she's not in school, Amy lies informing her that she's taking part in a chess club during break time. But Denise seems to know her soon-to-be step-daughter all too well, and ends up following Amy and finding both her and Bailey sat in a shed at the allotment. 

I have to be honest, it was a beautiful scene when everyone on the Square began to applaud Bailey's return to the Square, and the way both Bailey and Mitch's faces lit up as they saw one another and she ran into her Dad's arms, it really moved me. It kind of puts it into perspective, sadly some children who disappear or run away from home, some sadly never get found or return home. It's clear to see that everyone is relieved to have Bailey home safe and sound. 

--

Sticking with the Taylor's, we need to discuss Bernie. She still hasn't told her family that she has offered to be Rainie and Stuart's surrogate, being seeing them struggle for money is making her more determined than ever to make sure she can lose the weight to be able to carry a baby safely. It seems though that her family isn't the only person she hasn't told - her new girlfriend Molly happens to think that Bernie has a "Friend" who is doing the surrogacy. 

But when Molly happens to mention the future plans she wants to have with Bernie, going on holiday etc etc, Bernie happens to inform her that she couldn't, using the excuse that her family are skint and she can't afford to go anywhere right now. But Bernadette soon comes to realise that she can no longer hide the secret from her new girlfriend and comes clean that it's actually her who's agreed to be a surrogate. Needless to say that Molly is not best pleased with Bernie's decision, claiming that giving away a baby isn't normal. 

But Bernie I think knows more than anyone what it must be like to fall pregnant and then to devastatingly lose it. We know that Bernie's first major storyline on EastEnders was her miscarriage. As the episode progresses, Molly tries to convince Bernadette that being a surrogate is not a good idea, but once Bailey returns home and Bernie overhears her Mum informing the family that even though they may not be rich, it makes them the most strongest and powerful family ever! Feeling her Mum's positive energy and realising her Mum is right, Bernie informs her girlfriend that Bailey ran away because she felt guilty of her family not being able to afford looking after her, but with the money she'll receive from the surrogacy, she'll be able to provide for her family - and in her world, her family comes first, always have and always will! Which kind of means that maybe sadly Bernadette and Molly's brief relationship has come to an end. But as time goes on, will Molly be able to see Bernie's point of view? Will she be able to come round and support her girlfriend's decision? 

However, later when Bernie finds Rainie and informs her about the good news about Bailey returning home safe and well, she informs Rainie that she's going to start herself on the strict diet the following day to make sure she can lose the weight. But devastatingly Rainie reveals the devastating blow that she and Stuart are going to look for another surrogate, as the risk of losing the baby is too high if they were to continue with Bernadette as the surrogate. Leaving Bernie completely and utterly devastated, almost pleading Rainie for her to give her a chance to prove herself. But I feel I can kind of understand Rainie's concern, as she said herself she's not getting any younger, so in her mind, her chance to become a Mum is slowly drifting away from her and with Bernadette having to lose weight, it could take quite a long time, time that Rainie simply doesn't have. I did feel for Bernie, will she able to persuade Rainie to change her mind?

--

Elsewhere on the Square, Sharon is having to put up with her brother and the flashy women he keeps bringing back to her apartment. I have to say I thought it was brilliant at the beginning of the episode when Sharon completely embarrassed Zack in front of his lady friend, who happened to stay the night before. She quickly informs Zack that he needs to find a job if he's thinking about sticking around in Walford and suggests that he approaches Ruby at her club. But, as Sharon heads out, it seems that her brother has had more than one lady friend that he's been bringing round to the flat. Sharon is horrified when she notices another lady on the Square wearing her blazer and scarf and demands it back! 

Eventually she bumps into Martin as he returns from home from Kush's funeral. I just have to say that I loved the look of confusion on Martin's face when he's asked about the crash that happened and Sharon informs him that it was Kat - but the fact that Phil has been sat by her bedside every night. It looks as if the news about Kat and Phil's fling/romance is slowly spreading around the Square. But then Sharon also informs him that her brother has arrived on the Square and she's sent him across to Ruby to see if she can give him a job. 

I guess it's hard to tell how Martin is feeling at this point, however as soon as he comes face to face with Ruby and Zack, he really is not pleased with what he's witnessing. Zack is once again back to his old tricks and is horrendously flirting with Ruby. Martin informs him that he is in fact his bosses wife, so he needs to be incredibly careful not to cross the line where his boss is concerned. But Ruby informs her husband that she is glad to have him home and she missed him terribly, which kind of eases Martin's mood, but something tells me that this Zack is going to cause a stir. What do you guys think?

--

Finally I have to mention Nancy and Mick, I have to say though, it's been really lovely seeing these two share scenes again, I've really missed that Dad and Daughter bonding from these two. Nancy informs her Dad that if he's still willing to go to the Doctor's appointment then he can still join her. When she pops by the Vic to inform him the time, even though Mick reassures her that he'll be there, Shirley is suspicious to what the two of them are planning/doing and informs her "technically" Granddaughter that Mick needs to focus on writing his victim statement for court and can't have any distractions.

However, even though that of course Nancy wouldn't want to distract her Dad from something as important as his victim statement, but she feels happy that her Dad joined her for the appointment. However, from what I can gather, it looks as if that Nancy is having to wait 12 more months until she can go through with being sterilized, is it something to do with her being the right age? I'm not so sure, I think I missed that bit, however I recall Nancy mentioning that she is old enough to make the decision if she does wants kids at aged 16, but she's not allowed to make the decision if she doesn't want children at the age of 27?! Does she need to be 28 then for them to go through with the sterilization? 

She agrees to wait for the 12 months as she is completely certain that her feelings is not going to change on the matter - however, can I just say? - How much do you guys want to bet now that during these next 12 months, at some point Nancy will find herself pregnant? What will she do if she does??? - But back to the present, she informs her Dad that if she agrees to wait for the next 12 months, she wants to make sure that her Dad promises to do something for her also - read his victim statement aloud in court. She's hoping it'll give him the opportunity for him to have his say - about how everything that happened with Katy truly made him feel! 

As they arrive back on the Square, Mick heads to the Vic and gets his head down to write his victim statement, as Shirley enters and sees her son working away, she questions him whether he wants her to go over it. However Mick informs her that she'll be able to hear it for herself as he's agreed he's going to read it in court. But as Shirley voices her concern, Mick informs her that he's changed his mind about reading his statement - Katy doesn't scare him anymore! Although, unbeknown to them, as Mick is sat inside the pub writing his victim statement, Katy is stood right outside the pub, watching, staring, waiting! What is she doing back in Walford? Shouldn't she be behind bars? If there's going to be court date coming up, surely she's broken the rules of her bail if she's arrived back on the Square? I'm intrigued to see what's going to happen next. I hope Mick doesn't see her, he'll flip his lid! I have to be honest though, I'm looking forward to seeing the court hearing, as hopefully we'll get to see/hear what kind of sentence Katy will get and whether justice has been served!

Thank you all again for reading, I know it's been a while but I truly appreciate you all taking the time to read and respond! I can't wait to see what happens next, please feel free to leave me a message or comment on any of the storylines happening in EastEnders right now. I'd love to hear your thoughts! Thank you again everyone, enjoy the rest of your evening! Love you all xXx

[sweets-fanfics]

Homecoming 11

Title: Old lives revisted

Wordcount: 2986

Warning: Mary is in it and I hate her so there’s that.

A/N: Just some fluff and giggles.

Tags: @rollyjogerjones

----------

��You ride around looking for any sign. Hell, you even went to where they were going to be meeting and only found a small amount of blood.

 You were stressed and finally just sat on the side of the road to try and think of a plan. Maybe Dutch had been right about holding back and making a plan. You raked your fingers through your hair.

 “Maybe I got too excited, He’s probably fine.” You saw to Suzie as she rubs her nose on your shoulder. the sun was starting to rise slowly. You took it as a sign to give in for the night and head back. But as you began to climb up something in the back of your mind made you turn around and look at the horizon.

 As you did you saw the outline of a horse with someone laying on it’s back. You squinted your eyes a bit to get a better look. “Athena…” You called out with a bit of hope. The horse looked towards you and began to trot towards you.

 You ran up quickly seeing Arthur passed out. “Arthur.” You call shaking his shoulder. You see a bullet wound in his shoulder. “Honey, please wake up.” You beg softly.

 He grumbles a bit under his breath, “Y/N… did you sneak out again?”

 “Nows not the time Arthur, let’s get you back to camp.” You grab Athena’s reigns and lead her back to camp.

 Mary-Beth and Karen come running with Dutch close behind. “Arthur?” Mary-Beth asks as Arthur falls off of Athena on to his back on the ground.

 “Arthur! My boy, what happened?” Dutch asks.

 “Ah, Dutch, I told you it was a trap.” Arthur groans. You hitch Athena and Suzie up as Swanson and Dutch carry Arthur to his tent.

 You tried to enter the tent but Miss Grimshaw pushed you out. “Y/N, go get some clean rags we can use.” She ordered in a calm voice.

 “Okay…” You peeked over her shoulder at Arthur who just gave you a small thumbs up. You hurried over near the food supplies looking for anything to use.

 “Is Arthur okay?” Karen asks. She spots the clean rags right away that you were too stressed out to see.

 “Uh… yeah… I just… I don’t like even the idea of losing people.”

 “I don’t think anyone does.” She sighs.

 “But I just got this family…”

 You didn’t realize you said that out loud but Karen smiles and pats your shoulder. “Go check on him.”

 You rush back to Arthur’s tent where Grimshaw is sitting next to him. “Oh good,” She stands and pushes you down into the chair she had just been in. “I’m going to go see if I can get some food for him. You stay here and if he starts bleeding again you call.”

 “Okay… Thank you, Miss Grimshaw.”

 She leaves and closes the flaps of the big tent giving you two some privacy. Arthur is still conscious as you grab his hand and rub your thumb on the back of it. “You can go to sleep if ya want.” You suggest to him.

 He strains a bit and looks up at you, “But then I wouldn’t be able to see your pretty face.”

 You smile and kiss his forehead, “I won’t leave your side.” You promise. He laid back still not going to sleep but just sitting in the comfortable silence. “Wanna get married?” You ask suddenly making him look back at you.

 “You don’t wanna marry an old ugly outlaw like me.” He chuckles and squeezes your hand.

 “Oh, Arthur you ain’t old or ugly.” You smile, “And I do. But if I asked too soon…”

 “No that’s not it… just what made you say somethin’ like that so suddenly?”

 “I thought you were dead when I found you on your horse. It was a wake-up call… and it made me realize that I want to have a future with you.” Arthur weakly scooted over and pulled you next to him. You curled up placing your head on his shoulder. “I think we should get married, and have a nice little cabin with a perfect view of the sunset.”

 You hear him hum in amusement, “That doesn’t sound like too bad of an idea…” He kisses the top of your head, “However, I thought the man had to ask.”

 You laugh, “We are coming into modern times, Mr. Morgan. I believe it’s okay if a lady asks first.”

 “Well then, I guess I should accept.” You smile at him and lean forward to kiss him on the lips. “I should tell ya though, I’ve been engaged before.” You look at him curiously, “She broke it off cause her daddy didn’t like me.”

 “What a horrible reason. What was her name?”

 “Mary.”

 “Oh.. I had heard some of the girls gossiping about her,” You propped yourself up on your elbow. “Arthur Morgan, I’m goin’ to marry you even if my daddy tried to rip us apart. Even if he was in my life before the last couple of months I’d still stand my ground.” Arthur smiled and kissed your nose before leaning back and hissing from the pain.

 “Well, I’m gonna have to get better first.” When he looked at you you were staring off into space, “You okay?”

 “Can ya keep a secret from my brother and father?” You ask in almost a whisper.

 “Of course.”

 “I was almost engaged for a time.” Arthur gives you a look of amusement and shock as your cheeks turn pink. “Before Henry’s riding accident I lived in Saint Denise for some time on my own. I was working as an understudy for a shop in the city that makes wooden instruments. I was making money so Henry could finish his degree.

 I met a man he was the son of this man named Angelo Bronte, he’s this mobster who has a hand in most of the businesses in Saint Denise. Anyway, I had met him when he came into the shop because his guitar strings had all been cut and he needed help restringing it. My  boss there let me help him and after that, he would try to have some excuse to come into the shop every day I worked. Like… buying new strings or lookin’ to want to buy a new instrument. Anything to talk to me. Of course, I wouldn’t tell Henry cause he always had some strict no relationship rule in case someone would recognize our real last name.” You chuckled to your self a bit as you took a breath.

 “Sorry, anyway, the boy’s name was Luca, he one day came up to me as I was finishing my workday and he grabbed my hands and said, ‘Y/N I want us to run away and get married,’ I was so confused since we had hardly held hands and he suddenly wanted to get married. I had told him I couldn’t abandon my brother, but he seemed so adamant. We made a plan to meet at one of the bridges in the middle of the night. I went and I waited for a few hours… But he never arrived.” You sigh, “The next day on my way to work I saw him exiting the church in a black tux with a lady in a wedding dress. He looked so happy. He must have found my face or something, cause he looked at me but pretended he didn’t even know me.” You shake your head at how naive you were.

 “He sounds like an asshole,” Arthur mumbled. You smile and kiss his cheek. “I definitely won’t be ditching you for some other lady. You are all I want.”

 You lay your head on the pillow next to his, “Let’s keep the engagement a secret for now… I don’t know how to tell Dutch.” You turn and look into his perfect eyes, “Will you sleep now?”

 “Only if you stay next to me,” Arthur mumbles, clearly falling asleep.

 “I’ll never leave your side.”

  ------------------------  

 (A couple of months later)

     You’re sitting on the dock with your feet dipped into the water when Arthur sits in the chair that’s next to you. “Hello there, Mr. Morgan.” You smile.

 “What are you up too?” He asks.

 “Avoiding my father,” You admit. He and Molly had been in a screaming match for the past couple of weeks. Which had only escalated to Dutch blaring his music loudly throughout the camp.

 “Ah, they still arguing?” Arthur looks back as Dutch and Molly seem to have their backs to each other.

 “He asked her if she could be more motherly to Henry and me.” You roll your eyes. “We are not going to be like them when we are married.”

 “I don’t think we will have the same problems as them, However…” You look at him as he hands you a letter. “I got this from Mary today.”

 “What did she say?” You ask before looking down and noticing he hadn’t even opened it yet. “Arthur, I don’t have to read this…”

 “No, go ahead. It’s probably her begging for my help again… Or telling me how bad a person I am.”

 You narrow your eyes as you open the letter and read it. “She wants to meet you in Saint Denise…” You look back up at him, “You gonna go?”

 “Will ya go with me, I don’t want to go by myself.” He stands and extends a hand towards you.

 “Of course.” You smile and accept his hand as he helps you up. You shake your feet to dry them before slipping your shoes back on. You had on your Green skirt and white blouse since the summer heat had been making you not want to wear pants. “Let me grab my bag and put my hair up.”

 “You gonna do that braid crown thing?” Arthur asks following you.

 You giggle a bit, “Yeah, probably. It fits better with my hat.” Hosea had gone out and got you your own hat. It was a black stalker hat with a blue band around it. It was pretty big on your head so you had started putting your hair up to make it fit a bit better.

 You had moved into Arthur’s tent over the months. When Dutch asked why you had said you just wanted to keep an eye on him while he’s recovering. Which wasn’t completely a lie.

 Arthur sat on your shared cot while you effortlessly braided your hair. Arthur loved watching you do your hair, he said it’s like watching an artist complete a masterpiece. You would call him crazy but still, turn bright red.

 When you finished you turned to show Arthur the finished product he smiled standing up. He came up with your hat in hand and kisses your forehead before putting the hat on you. “Let’s go, miss.” He says taking your hand.

 The two of you walked past Dutch as he leaned on the post of his tent. “Where are you two goin’?” He’d been getting suspicious of the two of you. Of course, you don’t think he could catch on about the engagement but you could tell he thought something was going on.

 “Saint Denise. I need some new rosin for my bow.” You say with a sweet smile.

 “Rhodes doesn’t have it?” He asks.

 “No music store in Rhodes. We’ll be okay.” You wave him off as you both take only Arthur’s horse.

 Bear who had become almost full-grown is sitting standing ‘guard’ but his tail starts to wag as he sees you, “Bear, stay here and be a good boy.” He whines a bit but follows orders.

 “You sure have trained him well,” Arthur comments as you two ride out of camp.

 “I needed somethin’ to do when you resting.” You feel his arm around you tighten a bit as he picks up speed. “I trained him to growl at Micah on command.” You admit with a smirk.

 “Miss Van Der Linde you are a force to be reckoned with.” Arthur chuckles.

 “Soon to be Mrs. Morgan.” You smile proudly.

 “Well as much as I wanna, I can’t call ya that yet.” You shrug defeated.

 “Fine… if I must, I’ll be patient.”

 You can feel him chuckle, “Thank you.”

 You love the comfortable silence that always sits with you and Arthur. The camp can get so hectic and loud that little moments like these always made you feel better. The two of you ride in silence as Arthur stirred Athena towards Saint Denise.

 “Where did it say to meet her?” Arthur asks you.

 “The saloon.” You answer as he brings Athena to a stop. He hops off and hitches the horse before helping you down. “Nervous?” You ask him.

 “Eh… not really.” He takes your hand and you can tell he’s nervous by his sweaty palms.

 You squeeze his hand making him look down at you. “You got this cowboy. I’ll be your back up.”

 He smiles and the two of you enter the building. Arthur looks around a bit before stoping his gaze on a particular woman who is sitting alone. She was really pretty and you suddenly felt like you couldn’t compare. The two of you walk up to her making Mary lookup. “Arthur,” She begins to smile but then sees you at his side. “Who is this?” She asks.

 “Mary Linton this is my fiance, Y/N Van Der Linde.” Arthur introduces. You blush a bit not expecting him to call you his fiance.

 “Oh…” She says not really looking happy. Still, she reaches forward and shakes your hand. “Nice to meet you.”

 “Same to you miss.” You say softly.

 Arthur begins to pull out a chair for you when Mary speaks up again, “Actually… I’m sorry miss Van Der Linde, but I need to speak to Arthur privately…” You and Arthur look at her then each other.

 “Oh…” Is all you can get out.

 “Y/N can stay,” Arthur announces but you cut him off.

 “No, Honey, it’s okay. I do have to go to the music shop anyway.” He looks at you a bit nervous but you just smile at him, “I’ll be safe.”

 Arthur sighs a bit before kissing you on the cheek, “I’ll come to get ya if this is fast.”

 “You got it, cowboy.” You turn to Mary, “It was good to meet you, Mrs. Linton.”

 She doesn’t say anything as you exit the saloon. You sigh a bit frustrated that she didn’t want you there. But you trusted Arthur and knew he wouldn’t be dumb.

 You walk down the streets towards the music shop however when you get there you see it’s all locked up. You peak through the window only to see everything inside with a layer of dust.

 “Once the owner passed no one wanted to keep it open.” A painfully familiar voice says behind you. You look over your shoulder to see Luca smiling at you. He’s in a fancy suit and looks to be on the way to somewhere. “How are you, Lovely Y/N?”

 “What do you want?” You ask hoping he hears the annoyance in your voice.

 “I was on my way home and I saw a beautiful girl who seemed lost.” He smiled at you but it didn’t have the effect it used to have on you.

 “I’m not lost. I just wanted to see if they were still open. So go home to your wife.” You begin to walk away but you hear him following after you.

 “My father made me marry her, Y/N.” He pleads to try to hold one of your hands. You pull it away and give him a dirty look.

 “You made me stand at that bridge for hours like a moron.” You say starting to feel angry. “It was clearly a sign we were not meant to be because I have found someone who I am happy with.” He looks heartbroken. “So go home to your family. And pretend you never knew me.”

 “Y/N wait,” He begins to call again.

 “Y/N, There you are,” Arthur says trotting up on Athena. “Ready to go home?” He asks politely as he gets off the horse and kisses your cheek. He looks up at Luca and raises an eyebrow. “Can I help you?”

 “Your… the someone.” Luca says a bit dejected. Arthur definitely stands above Luca. Arthur seemed like a giant compared to him. “A… cowboy really?” He asks making you roll your eyes.

 “Oh, he must be Luca,” Arthur says as it clicks to him. He holds out a hand for Luca to shake. When he grabs it Arthur yanks him close and whispers something in his ear that you can’t hear. When Arthur pulls back he smiles at you and starts leading you to Athena. “Was good to meet ya.”

 “What did you say to him?” You ask as he helps you up.

 “Nothin’ just introducing myself.” Arthur shrugs. You turn towards Luca and see him practically running away.

 “Gonna tell me what you and Mary talked about?” You asked as he rode you home.

 “Sure, She asked me to talk to her daddy who still doesn’t like me so I turned her down. Then she asked me to run away with her,” You felt a pinch of jealousy but tried not to make it visible, “Of course I told her no again, and then I asked her not to contact me anymore.”

 “Why?” You ask.

 “Cause I know she was just using me and I don’t need that in my life. All I need is you.” You feel him kiss the top of your head. You lean back into him and you know you’re safe in his arms.

[imagine-that-100]

Drunk | Part 8 |

Description of Part 1: Matty Healy x Reader (Female) | When you come back home to Manchester from University, you get invited to a house party filled with your old friends from high school. You hadn’t seen most of them for 4 years and the house brings back some old memories of the parties you once attended. Getting drunk with old friends ends up being better than you imagined.

Word Count: 12.2k

A/N: Okay hopefully by the end of this I will have redeemed myself from the torture I made you read last week? Hope you don’t hate me anymore xx Thanks for reading and love you all! Let me know if you want to be tagged x

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| MASTERLIST IN BIO | 

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You slowly got yourself back together over the next few months with the help of your friends. Y/B/F practically came and lived with you for the first month because you became morbidly depressed.

You ate junk food most nights because you couldn’t be bothered doing anything. You slept most of the time because it was just a way for the pain to go away.

But you got yourself up every day and made yourself presentable. You didn’t let your emotions get a hold of you at work. You had people to take care of that were in much worse situations than you, so you kept your emotions at home.

About a month after you ended things with Matty, you started to go out to parties again. Initially you really didn’t want to. All you wanted to do was stay at home and go to sleep but they all forced you out.

And in the end, you were really glad that they did because you felt better. You started to feel like yourself again. And you quickly got back into the rhythm of going out with your friends and having a good time again.

You also kept in touch with Denise and Louis like you promised, and you were so thankful they were still nothing but lovely to you. They still treated you like one of the family and you took Louis out to the cinema like you promised him.

He seemed to have a great time and the film that he chose was also surprisingly good, so you had a really good time too. You of course got him the McDonalds that you always got him when you looked after him for his tea.

You honestly loved the kid so much you wished he was actually your brother.

Over the next few months you were your old self again. You were happier and you made the most of the summer holidays whilst you had the time off. You went out so much you had to put everything in your calendar of your plans.

You barely had a second to yourself. You were going on a last-minute girly holiday which you were really excited about. The day before you were due to go away on that holiday though you had a little break down.

You were just thankful that your girls were there to pick you back up though. Matty had posted a picture of himself with Halsey and you just knew it was a couple’s photo.

You wouldn’t lie and say it didn’t make you upset because it really did. You just sat and cried about it for a good hour until Ava saw that he’d posted it and called you up making sure you were okay.

You obviously weren’t and she came around straight away. You told her how you just hated everything about the situation. You hated that you weren’t over it, you hated that your heart hurt every time you thought about him and you hated how you felt like you were nothing to him.

He meant the world to you and you still loved him. It just wouldn’t turn off and you were thankful that Ava just sat and listened to what you had to say.

But she called the other girls around and you had a good afternoon together until you had to go your separate ways so you could finish packing for your holiday.

You were going with Ava, Stacy, Y/B/F, Caroline and Alisha. They arranged it as a surprise for you for your birthday and they somehow let your school give you the time off so at least you got to miss the holidays with all the children taking up the pools.

You were away for your birthday and you were so excited to spend your birthday in the luxury of an all-inclusive holiday. And that seemed to be the cure that you needed for your heart.

Whilst you were there you and the girls when to various clubs where you pulled different guys and you didn’t feel sick afterwards. You found yourself having fun and you got your old mentality back.

You got more dick over there in the space of a week than when you started Uni and went to fresher’s week. The other girls were happy for you and you slowly felt yourself become more open to the idea of being single again.

You didn’t go for any of them more than once and on one night you managed to get 2 different guys to shag you. One at the beginning of the night and one at the end.

Needless to say, you were more over Matty when you came back off your holiday than when you went. You felt better about yourself and got your confidence back. And you definitely didn’t keep that to yourself.

You posted so many pictures on Instagram that the world didn’t know what hit them. Or you liked to think of it like that anyway.

And what made it better was that a certain someone had definitely seen them, and it proved your point that you wouldn’t be sad and broken like he’d left you forever.

And you knew he knew because you and Ava were chatting to Ross on the phone because things were still great between them. Ava was telling him all the gossip about everything that had been going on but was currently telling him that one of the guys you’d shagged was also staying at the hotel you were, and you kept running into him.

Ross ended up saying, “Jesus Christ Y/N, that’s gotta be the awkwardest thing in the world”

You and Ava laughed at that but before you could reply you could hear George shouting on the other end of the phone, “Is that Y/N? Put her on speaker”

Ross agreed and you had a chat to them when George started asking what was going on. George had been great with you. He’d kept in contact with you and you spoke every week or so. He knew you didn’t want to talk about Matty, so he kept everything light and he told you about the tour and how they were getting on.

You loved hearing the stories because you did miss Matty keeping you up to date with everything but at least you still had your best pal George.

“So, Y/N/N what have you been up to on your holiday?” George asked you and you smiled at how excited he sounded to speak to you.

“Getting dicked” You told him and both you and Ava started laughing.

“Check you out. How many you bagged so far?” George said seeming as excited as one of the girls.

“She’s up to six different ones in five days and we have still got two days left so I recon she’ll be on ten before we leave” Ava chuckled, and you let out a laugh at that along with Ross and George.

“Ohhh Yeahhhhh! Get me the dick” You joked, and George and Ross burst out laughing.

“Oh dear, same old Y/N” George sighed which made you smile.

“You know it Georgie” You told him, and you carried on your conversation for a little while.

All whilst Matty was listening in on everything because he was on the other side of the room to George and Ross.

~*~*~*~*~*~

When you got back from your holiday you all decided to have one more night out with your girls until you all had to return back to reality. And you were so glad that you did.

Whilst you were out you ran into some one rather unexpected. You’d been into Manchester with the girls but all managed to catch the last train back to Wilmslow, so it didn’t cost you a bomb to get back home.

You decided that you would go back to the bar that you usually went to because it stayed open till 3am and the vibe in there was always good. You went in and sat on one of the high tables with stools surrounding that had been abandoned.

There were about 20 different glasses still on the table but none of you minded and you went up to the bar to order you drink. Whilst you were up there though you looked towards the guy next to you and really recognised him.

After looking for a second but not realising who it was you looked away, so you didn’t appear to be a creep. The guy was really cute. He had a chiselled jawline with cute brown hair that was swept back like Ross’.

You waited patiently for the staff member to come and serve you but after a minute you felt the guys eyes on you. You looked back over to him and smiled when your eyes met his.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to stare you just look really familiar” He apologises and you felt relieved that it wasn’t just you.

You smiled and told him, “It’s okay. I thought I recognised you too!”

“What’s your name?” You asked the cute guy.

“Tom, what’s yours?” He told you but the name didn’t ring any bells.

“Y/N” You say, and you saw the wave of recognition fly across his face.

“Oh my god, it’s you” He gasps, resting a hand on your shoulder excitedly. But from the look on your face he could tell you didn’t remember him.

“You don’t remember, do you?” Tom asked and you shook your head with an apologetic smile.

“I’m sorry, I’ve got no clue”

Tom then lent closer to you and said into your ear so you could hear him over the noise, “I won’t go down in history as the guy with the best pick up lines, but I’ll go down on you”

Tom couldn’t contain his smile as he then watched the recognition light up your face.

“Oh my god, yes, Tom, of course. You look great, how’ve you been?” You asked him like you were old friends.

“I’ve been great thank you, how are you?” He asked and then you chatted along for the rest of the night.

“You never called me for that drink” You pointed out and he started telling you about how he was going to call you the day after he met you, but he genuinely lost your number. When he came to check his phone, it was nowhere to be found.

Tom told you how he was gutted about it because he really wanted to take you out. You joked that he ‘lost’ it on purpose, and he told you multiple times that he really didn’t and to make it up to you he bought you a drink.

To be fair to him, Tom bought you drinks for the remainder of the night and you danced with him a fair amount until he whispered into your ear, “Do you wanna get outta here?”

Of course, you nodded your head because he was still one of the most stunning people you’d ever seen, and he’d been a perfect gentleman all night. He’d gotten a lot better looking since you’d last seen him and you didn’t think that was possible but there he was.

He had broadened up since last time, and you could feel how strong he was when his arms were around you. And you felt safe in his arms. Safer than you had done in a long time so when you woke up the next morning and he asked for your number you made sure that he gave you a quick call so the number wouldn’t be lost.

And that was how a blissful 2-and-a-half-year relationship formed. You started dating him straight away after that night and you got on like a house on fire. You told him about your past and your worries about another relationship just 3 months after your old one but he never pressured you into anything but that ended up being the best thing.

You fell into an amazing loving relationship and you were so horrendously happy. Tom was your Prince Charming and came and saved you. He gave you hope in the male species again and you were both so happy.

So, when Denise ended up seeing you about 3 months into your new relationship, she thought you looked like a completely different person. The light in your eyes was back and you seemed like yourself again which made her really really happy.

Initially though, when you took Louis out, she could tell you still weren’t yourself and only two weeks after splitting with Matty, she didn’t expect you to. The second time she saw you though was just before your birthday and you looked a lot better.

It was a week before you were due to go on you holiday and she’s asked you to babysit Louis the first time which you happily agreed to. However, when the front door opened at 2am you didn’t realise the surprise that was waiting for you.

Denise had forgot to tell you that Matty was also due home the same night so when you got up to greet Denise at the front door, your smile fell off your face when you saw who it actually was.

You both paused and gazed at each other for a moment until Matty put his keys down on the side. The action caused you to start being human again and your heart hurt slightly looking at him. After all you’d only been split up about a month.

You saw that he had lovebites on his neck that looked like someone had punched him it was that big. You found it childish, you were 23 now, did anyone really need marks on their neck anymore?

You could tell he was completely pissed as well. He stank of cigarettes and lager. You’d grown to love the slight smell of tobacco that always lingered around Matty but tonight he smelled fucking disgusting. It was like he’d been chain smoking.

“Why are you here?” Matty questioned and you frowned at him.

“Looking after your brother” You told him, wondering why he didn’t know.

“Right” Matty said before kicking his shoes off and continuing to chew the gum that was in his mouth.

When you didn’t get another response from him you nodded to yourself and grabbed your car keys from near where his now lay. You pulled the front door open as you mumbled under your breath, “Great chat”

“He’s fine by the way. Just in case you were wondering” You said before shutting the door behind you and pettily driving back home annoyed.

The next time you babysat for Louis was 3 months into your relationship with Tom. When you walked into their house Denise thought you looked amazing.

She asked who it was that was making you smile like a schoolgirl and you told her about you and Tom. She was over the moon for you and she said that the next time you came around she wanted to meet him.

“Well you’ll see him tonight. He’s going to come and pick me up” You told her. You were staying at his tonight because you were both going down to Liverpool tomorrow for a concert and you were going to spend the day out together before you went.

“Oh, I’ll hopefully get home before Matt does then to see him” She said, and your smile faltered slightly.

“Oh honey, I’m so sorry I forgot to tell you that Matty’s on his way back home tonight…” She started but you assured her you would be fine. 

There wouldn’t be a repeat of last time, you had moved on and you were happy again. You really didn’t care if you saw him again at this point.

Just after Denise went out you and Louis sat down and had a semi-serious conversation about what you both wanted to do. You gave him the choices of a movie night, cinema, bowling or crazy golf and he found the decision difficult.

Of course though, the first thing that Louis did was make sure that McDonalds would be involved which he was very pleased about when you agreed. He then decided that you would be going to the Trafford Centre to play crazy golf which you both found hilarious.

You both had a blast and after you’d been beaten by a child, you took him to McDonalds in the food area. You honestly loved taking him out, he never failed to make you smile and he seemed to love having you around. Since you’d met him, he really seemed to love you and you were glad that nothing had changed.

You ended up going to the arcade that was also in there as well where you managed to spend over £30 on nothing. The only thing you kept from your spending spree in the arcade was the pictures that you and Louis got at the photo booth and a teddy that he won.

Afterwards you then took him into HMV so he could buy a DVD that you both could watch when he got home. He chose Man of Steel which had just come out on DVD which actually turned out to be a good film. A lot better than the other Superman movies you’d seen.

After that though it was 11:30 and you reluctantly told Louis that he had to go to bed. You weren’t tight though you didn’t say it he had to go to sleep you just needed to keep up a good impression, so Denise still allowed you to come around and hang out with Louis when she went out.

“Okay, I won’t go upstairs and go on my PS3” Louis said as he hugged you goodbye.

You chuckled and hugged him back, “I won’t tell if you don’t”  

“Thanks for today Y/N” He smiled just as he was about to leave the room.

“You’re very welcome. I’ll see you soon, I promise” You grinned, and he said he would hold you to it.

After he went upstairs you got yourself comfy on the sofa and you turned on some shit TV. You got yourself too comfy though because the next thing you knew the front door was being opened and you’d woken up to the TV being a completely different programme than you left it.

You rubbed your eyes and picked your phone up. It was 1:30am and you immediately texted Tom to say you were ready to be picked up, you already couldn’t wait to get back to sleep.

Matty came into the lounge and seemed shocked that you were in the house. You smiled when he came into the room and tried to look past the shocked look on his face.

“Hey Y/N, what are you doing here?” Matty questioned but at least it was kindly this time.

“Looking after Louis again whilst your Mum’s out” You told him with a smile.

“Ah right, isn’t he like fifteen now? Shouldn’t he be staying home alone?” Matty thought out loud and you shook your head.

“He’s twelve” You told him like he should know.

“Oh, shit yeah” Matty said before sitting down on the other sofa.

“How are you anyway?” You asked him. 

You were curious, you couldn’t lie. You always wondered and you did miss checking in with him.

“Yeah I’m good thanks. You doing okay?” Matty asked and you nodded.

“Yeah, I’m great thanks… How are my boys doing?” You asked with a big grin thinking of the lads.

“They’re good, they’re good. I just dropped George at home for the night and Hann and Ross are the same as usual. Fucking idiots mostly” Matty grinned and you couldn’t help but chuckle.

“Oh dear” You smiled, and you checked your phone again.

After a second of silence Matty looked back at you and noticed you on your phone. “Do you need a lift home? I didn’t see your car” He asked genuinely.

“Ah no I’m good thanks, I’m getting a lift” You smiled.

“You sure? I don’t mind”

“Honestly it’s fine, he’s already on his way” You told him before returning back to your phone.

Just as Matty processed what you said and just as he was about to ask who was picking you up, your text alert went off. Matty watched as you grinned down at your phone before picking your jacket up from next to you.

“Actually, he’s here” You said standing up.

Matty stood up as well so he could show you out. “Who’s coming getting you?” Matty asked, curiosity getting the better of him.

“Just Tom” You said shrugging your jacket on and then pulling the door open. You didn’t even realise that Matty wouldn’t have even known who Tom was when you just said “Cya”

When you walked out you saw Tom walking up the driveway to meet you and you smiled at him. “Hey, thanks for coming getting me” You said before quickly pecking his lips.

“It’s okay” He said before he caught your lips again for a second and you smiled up at him lovingly.

You started walking towards his car, but you noticed Tom turn back to look at the door and nod (in a friendly way) towards Matty, who you actually forgot was there. You turned back and sent a little wave his way before you reached the car.

Matty watched as Tom opened the door for you and you climbed into the passenger seat of the car. After that Matty closed the door behind him now fully understanding the difference in your behaviour from the first time to the last time he’d seen you.

The first time you looked sad still, almost depressed but now 6 months since you’d both separated you were happy again and looked so much better. You still didn’t quite seem yourself because Matty knew your tells, but you looked happy. And that was something Matty could say he was jealous of.

He thought that maybe he needed a dose of the same medicine. So that’s what Matty ended up doing.

In the New Year it was officially put on both Matty and Halsey’s Instagram that they were a thing. People had been speculating about it for a while, but they had finally made it official and when you found out you could honestly say to yourself that you were happy for him.

You were in such a good place in your relationship with Tom that you didn’t think anything could put a downer on it. And it couldn’t.

You were so beyond happy, and everyone seemed to love him. Tom fitted in so well with your friends and your family loved him just as much as they loved Matty.

Even Denise loved him when she forced you to bring him around after a year of her not yet meeting him. She’d asked you to sit in with Louis for a night again but after not bringing Tom around to meet her multiple times throughout the year she said he could come and sit with you whilst you had your movie night in with Louis.

She loved him and she treated him like she’d known him for years. Tom seemed to love her too especially when she thanked him for keeping you happy for the past year.

She reluctantly went out after that and you all sat in and had a movie night. Louis had a list of movies lined up that he apparently knew you would love, and he wasn’t wrong. The kid probably knew your movie taste better than you knew you.

That night when Louis had gone upstairs on his Xbox you and Tom just stayed on the sofa and carried on watching movies. You ended up having a good night in and you ended up falling asleep with your head in his lap.

When Matty and Denise returned home together that night they walked into the lounge to find you fast asleep using Tom’s lap as a pillow and him falling asleep too. Matty’s eyes found you before they did Tom and he saw how peaceful you looked.

You looked just like you used to when you were curled up next to him in bed. You looked peaceful which was nice for Matty to see but his heart sank when he saw you were lay in Tom’s lap. Just a few years earlier you would be lay in his lap like that.

When Matty closed the door to the lounge Tom woke up and picked his head up off the sofa. He smiled at both Matty and Denise saying a soft, “Hey” and then quickly followed by an apology for falling asleep.

Denise said it was no bother, whilst Matty stayed quiet and walked into the kitchen. Tom softly woke you up and you got up and spoke to Denise for a little while. Tom chatted along with you whilst Matty kept himself to himself and only speaking when he had to, so he didn’t appear rude.

Denise loved to see you happy and it did make Matty happy too. He was glad he hadn’t ruined your life like he was slowly ruining his own. He was happy that you were happy.

~*~*~*~ 2016 ~*~*~*~

Your happiness with Tom lasted until January 4th, 2016. You’d had a great 2 and a half years with him but you both decided to mutually call it off. There wasn’t a future with him, well not the one that you wanted anyway so you thought it was best to go your separate ways and stay friends with each other before you grew to resent him.

But you didn’t mind. You looked at the split as a positive thing. And you found yourself getting back on track a hell of a lot faster than you did when you split up with Matty.

You guessed you’d grown a lot as a person the past 3 years, that or you were just happier because you hadn’t been cheated on.

Just after you’d split with Tom you got a text from George. It wasn’t about anything to do with Tom which you were sort of thankful for and the message the text contained made you unbelievably happy.

Hey Y/N/N. Hope your good! I just wondered if you wanted to come to the album release party again? We’re planning on dropping it Feb 26, so the party starts at 7 on the 25th. Really hope you can come, feel like I haven’t seen you in ages. Miss you loads, hopefully see you there x

Your heart melted at the message and of course you replied to him telling him you’d be there. You wouldn’t miss it for the world. The singles that they’d dropped last year, Love Me and Ugh!, were tunes so you were really excited to hear some new stuff from them.

After the breakup with Matty you boycotted their music for a long while until you could listen to Matty’s voice without getting upset or angry at it. You were glad you’d got past that stage because you had enjoyed their music for years and they had some really good songs that you sometimes just wanted to listen to.

January past by fast with you moving into your own little flat and getting your life back in order. You found it weird living on your own again, but you found yourself enjoying it at the same time. February came around quickly and one day you were in your car driving to the supermarket when the radio presenter caught your attention.  

“Right so we’ve got a new one here. It dropped today, February 15th 2016, and I’ve gotta say it’s a great song. It’s the latest single from The 1975 and it's off their new album ‘I Like It When You Sleep, For You Are So Beautiful Yet So Unaware Of It’. Yes, it’s a bit of a mouthful but I’ll tell you all right now it’s going to be a banging album” The presenter said just as you were pulling into your parking space.

“So here it is… Somebody Else by The 1975” He said and then the music turned up.

You parked the car and sat listening as Adam played the synth until Matty’s voice rang out, “So I heard… You found… Somebody else… And at first… I thought… It was lie”

It was needless to say that the song struck a chord with you. It was the ultimate break up song. One that you could dance and cry to at the same time.

You sat there contemplating what to do because by the end of the song you had a feeling the song wasn’t about Matty’s break up with Halsey last year. Different things about your relationship with Matty started flooding back to you and your heart sank at it.

The song should have been reminding you of Tom, but it really didn’t. You didn’t think you would be phased if you saw Tom with someone else and after a month of not being together it really should be playing on your mind.

But no. You thought about Matty and how it did sting when you first saw him with someone else. Like when he posted that picture with Halsey way back in 2013 after you’d split you remembered how heartbroken you were by it.

But it was another part of the chorus that made you think it was more about you than it was about Halsey. For a start you didn’t think Matty would write an anthem about her after she literally outed his private secrets when she released her album last year.

The song Colors was clearly about him and it actually shocked you when you listened to it. You wouldn’t have shared any of Matty’s secrets like that, so it made you question how nice of a person she actually appeared to be.

But the main reason the song struck you was the lyric “I’m looking through you while looking through your phone and then leaving with somebody else”

That line alone took you back to 6 months ago. Steve had invited you to another school reunion sort of party but this time everyone’s other halves here invited. So, because you and Tom were in the area visiting family you both went.

You walked in and hugged Steve because he was greeting people as you went entered the house. The place looked fancier than usual, but that was probably because now that you were 26 and all dressed like it.

You’d got there a bit late because you and Tom couldn’t put each other down so when you entered you could tell that your friends knew whilst you were late. Y/B/F came up to you and gave you a hug calling you a dirty girl and you couldn’t stop yourself from giggling.

Stacy and Alisha were also there, and you had a quiet giggle about it with them. With Tom not too far behind he was chatting to the other boyfriends that he knew well by now. You were all in happy relationships and you loved your little group dynamic.

As you were chatting though you felt arms wrap around you from behind and lift you up into the air. You let out a little screech until the culprit placed you back on the ground and you managed to get out of their grip to see who it was.

You turned to see the eyes of a very giddy George and you practically jumped on him to hug him. “Oh my god, Hey! How have you been?” You all but squealed.

George chuckled still hugging you tightly, “I’m good. How’s my favourite sister?” 

It was then your turn to chuckle and you told him, “I’m amazing thank you”

Once George had released you, you saw that behind George was Ross. You gave him a massive hug because you hadn’t seen him since he and Ava split up. You wished it would have worked out for them but unfortunately the distance was something Ava found really hard to deal with. You were just happy they were still friends with each other after they ended things.

Adam wasn’t far behind and you of course gave him a big hug too. He really was the cutest one out of them all and you missed him like crazy. He was always so clever, and you missed him coming up with guitar riffs all the time. Especially when he played something you knew that you could sing along to.

After you released Adam you saw that Matty was there too just a few feet behind them. You smiled at him and didn’t have the heart to not give him a hug like you’d hugged the rest.

“Hey” You smiled as you hugged him.

He hugged you back like any friend would and returned the pleasantries. You’d heard through the grape vine that he wasn’t with Halsey anymore and when she dropped Colors you’d been dying to speak to him.

“How’ve you been?” You asked him.

“Yeah alright thanks, hope you’ve been alright” Matty smiled at you.

“Yeah I’m good thanks… Can we have a chat later? When I don’t have to mingle anymore?” You asked him, hoping he would say yes.

“Yeah, sure” Matty nodded at you and you smiled at him before you were captured by another familiar face from high school.

Later on, you’d found him, and you went outside for a quick chat with him. He smoked and you got on with each other like normal friends which you were pleased by. You didn’t have any bad feelings towards him anymore. It had been 2 years and you were now in a happy loving relationship, so you had nothing to complain about.

You asked him how he was doing after the whole Halsey situation and he confessed to you that he was pissed off a bit when he heard the song, but he couldn’t do anything. You just felt the need to reassure him that you wouldn’t do anything like that.

“I guess I just wanted to make sure you knew that I wouldn’t do anything like that… I don’t mean like writing a song or anything but the stuff that we talked about… I would never dream of telling anyone else” You told him genuinely. You just wanted to make sure he knew.

“Not even our Tommy boy?” Matty joked, trying to make light of the situation.

But you wanted to keep it clear. No joking involved. 

“No, I haven’t and won’t tell him anything” You told him in a serious tone.

You watched as Matty took a drag of his cigarette and blew the smoke out in a long breath. “Why?” He questioned looking into your Y/E/C eyes.

“Because it’s none of his business. The stuff you decided to tell me in private aren’t and never will be my secrets to tell” You told him, finishing up with a kind-hearted smile.

Matty took another drag of his cigarette before blowing the smoke out the side of his mouth so it wouldn’t get you. He knew that you never liked to have the smell of cigarettes to linger on your clothes. 

He smiled slightly, “Thank you, I appreciate it”

“Anytime” You smiled before looking back inside seeing a bunch of people surrounding Tom that he definitely didn’t know. 


“Right, well, I better get inside and save Tom before he gets mobbed” You joked and Matty thanked you once more before heading inside.

The rest of the night was a fairly normal party. You drank like you normally would in a civilised place and you had a really good night. You had a catch up with everyone and barely had a moments peace.

But there was one moment when you did find the briefest of moments to yourself and that was went everyone was chatting around you and you took your phone out of your pocket and started scrolling through it. You were looking through the shit that you’d been tagged in on Facebook and twitter and found yourself smiling at it. You were happy in your own little world, just zoned out from everything around you.  

So, you didn’t notice Matty on the other side of the room, lent against the back door watching you. Matty found himself smiling watching as your grin got bigger as you scrolled through your phone. He knew you were probably looking at a stupid meme that Ava or Stacy had probably sent you, but he liked seeing you happy.

You were in your own little bubble for a few minutes and Matty found himself enticed by you, and you weren’t even doing anything. He just couldn’t stop looking.

However, Matty watched as your little bubble burst when Tom wrapped his arm around your waist from behind. You turned your head to look up at who’d captured you this time and smiled when you saw your handsome boyfriend.

Matty watched as you lent back into him as you put your phone away and he saw you looked to the ground nervously when Tom started whispering something in your ear. He watched as the smile that was already on your face turned into a big flushed grin and you nodded your head when you next looked up at Tom.

Matty didn’t know why but his heart sank. He knew exactly what Tom had just proposed you do and Matty felt himself deflate.

He didn’t know why though. He didn’t want you anymore but at the same time he didn’t not want you. Yes, you were beautiful, you always had been, even in high school but he didn’t want you like he once did when you were together.

All Matty could think was that he shouldn’t care but he did. He cared that you were happy, but he didn’t like to think about the fact that you were about to leave with someone else when the last time you’d both come to one of Steve’s parties you’d be leaving with him.

He didn’t even want to picture what you would both be getting up to after you’d gone. He didn’t want to think about how happy Tom made you. But at the same time, he was glad Tom made you happy.

Initially, when you dumped Matty, he thought that there was no way it would be forever. He just thought you’d come back around, and you’d start up again. He didn’t think that when you split it would be the last time that he saw you for more than 2 minutes in 6 months.

But from the time he saw you for 2 minutes to now he saw the huge difference in you. The first time he saw you, you still looked broke but the next time you looked a lot better and more like yourself again. And when he saw you with Tom that time that he’d come home to you both on the sofa you looked so happy that Matty longed for that happiness.

Matty then watched as you then went and tried to slip out with Tom unnoticed. But your eyes found Matty’s and you sent him a small smile that he knew meant bye. He smiled back at you and nodded his head to signify that he was saying a silent goodbye.

So, as you were sat in the car listening to the song you found a stray tear running down your face. And when it ended you sat there for ages wondering what to do with yourself.

“Fuck” You whispered, wiping the tear from your face. 

Somebody Else was about you.

~*~*~*~*~*~

February 25th, 2016 rolled around quickly and for the occasion you decided to dress yourself up a bit. It was too cold for a dress, so you made the effort of wearing wet-look leather pants with a pale pink shirt. You finished your look off with a leather jacket and some black heels that you loved.

You had your hair down and you actually felt pretty for the first time since you’d split up with Tom. You hadn’t had an excuse to go out yet, so you were definitely making the most of this occasion.

You did your make up simply too. Nothing too out there but you also didn’t look like you made no effort. You just went with a natural eyeshadow with a winged liner and you were proud of yourself after you’d done it.

When you got to the venue that George told you about you gave your name to the guy on the door. He asked for your ID and you happily gave it him.

You were really excited to see your old friends; you hadn’t heard from them in a long time. Too long, considering you used to speak to George almost every other day.

You’d missed Ross too since his split with Ava, but you understood it. People needed their space after a breakup. Even if they were still going to be friends afterwards.

You climbed the grand hotel stairs until a member of staff showed you into the function room. Even before you walked in you could hear the rumble of hundreds of voices and it only became louder when the door opened.

When you walked in you were overcome by pink light. You’d seen their new album cover and loved it, but you didn’t expect there to be this much pink at the party.

But you were wrong. Littered around the side of the room were loads of neon signs and you recognised some that you saw. There was one on the stage that’s simply said, ‘The 1975’ and you had to say it looked very aesthetically pleasing.

You didn’t see anyone that you knew directly in front of you, so you just went to the bar to get yourself a drink before looking around all the different neon signs.

You recognised the ‘Love Me’ one and the ‘Ugh!’, along with Somebody Else and The Sound. You couldn’t believe that they had released two bops a week after each other and you were sure that there would be more on the album.

You were already proud of them for their new stuff and you wished you’d got a chance to tell them in person before now. In all honesty you wished you were in contact with them more often than you actually were.

You hadn’t spoken to Matty since Steve’s last party and you had only texted George about a month after that. You hated to message them, you always felt like you were interrupting as they were always away and knowing your luck, they would more than likely be on stage when you texted.

You walked around the noisy hall wondering around the neon lights. You guessed that they were song names from the album, and that thought was confirmed when Adam found you.

You saw Adam’s cute smile as he made eye contact with you from just across the room. He excused himself from the people that he was chatting to and came over and gave you a big hug.

“Hey you” You chucked as his arms wrapped around you.  

“I am so glad you’re here Y/N/N” He whispered into your ear and you let out an ‘awh’ as he held you.

“I’ve missed you so much Adam” You squeezed him again before letting go.

Adam chuckled, “I’ve missed you calling me Adam”

“Oh no, have they made you forget your first name?” You joked but Adam nodded, and you couldn’t contain your laughter.

Adam laughed along with you, “You know them, I don’t get my first name and they bully me”

“I’ll hit them for you, don’t worry” You chuckle shaking your head before turning slightly to look around the room.

You noticed the pink vibe again and looked towards the ‘Lost my head’ sign and you had to say, “I’m loving the pink vibe you’ve got going on”

“Yeah it’s cool innit, it’s all the song names” Adam smiled.

“Ah I love it” You said just before your name was shouted across the room.

“Y/N Y/L/N” A voice boomed, and you turned around wide eyed to see George stood on a chair pointing at you.

When you realised you weren’t in trouble you laughed at the sight in front of you. The wild head of hair that was George Daniel jumped off the chair and came towards you with his arms wide open.

“God, I have missed you” He grinned, and you chuckled telling him that you missed him too.

Ross soon followed and after you were done hugging him you saw that Matty was around as well. He sent you a grin and you couldn’t help but grin back.

“Come here you” You smiled walking towards him so you could give him a hug.

Matty wrapped his arms around you, and you did the same to him. He gave you a tight squeeze and he said, “Hey, you okay?”

“Yeah, I’m good, how are you?” You asked before letting him go.

“I’m really good thanks” He smiled at you and you now stood with the boys surrounding you in a chat.

“How’ve you all been anyway?” You asked them after the pleasantries were out of the way.

“Yeah were good, been busy but glad it’s all out of the way for now” George smiled at you and you nodded.

“Yeah I bet you all are, stressful times releasing new songs and an album” You said remembering from the last time they released things.

They all nodded around you and you were all smiling like giddy school children. Ross then grabbed your attention and asked, “Have you heard any of the new ones?”

“Of course, I have” You smiled and smiled at them. You were stood near the neon sign that said ‘The Sound’ so you moved towards it and announced, “This one’s a fucking banging tune”

You held the bars it was attached to and they all smiled at you. You grinned as the pink light illuminated all their faces and you had to say that pink was a good colour for them.

Especially when it contrasted with their dark clothing. You were at least glad to see that the black jeans and black shirts were still around.

“Ah you like that one then?” Adam asked you and you nodded.

“I like them all. But as always I’ve got my favourite” You told them moving back towards them again.

“And that’s The Sound?” George questioned with a grin, but you shook your head.

“Nope” You said holding your answer back until one of them asked.

“Which one is it then? Love Me?” Adam asked.

You shook your head and chuckled, “Nah, Somebody Else is such a tune” You told then with a smile but then made slightly longer eye contact with Matty.

You think for a split second you saw something click in Matty’s eyes and he knew that you knew. You weren’t bothered by it at all. He was entitled to write songs about his own feelings, that was completely fine. You just didn’t expect him to articulate his feelings into words so well.

But you knew Matty had a way with his words. The whole of the first album was practically a 70/80’s teen movie and you loved every song on that.

“Well if you think that one’s a good one, you should wait until you hear the rest of the album” George said taking your attention again.

“I’m so excited to listen to it tomorrow” You smiled.

“You’ll hear it later tonight” Ross pointed out.

You smiled, “True but you know I like to listen to new music properly”

“Ah yeah, so you’ll be annoying Tom all day with our music then?” Adam asked you.

“No actually, it’ll just be me” You smiled, realising where the conversation was headed. 

You forgot no one would have told them at this point.

“Ah no where’s Tom escaped to then? Is he here by the way?” George asked, looking around the room slightly to have a look.

You softly chuckled and with a soft smile, “No, it’s just me. I’m not with Tom anymore”

At this you watched as all of the smiled fell off the boys faces, and you saw them look between each other for a second not too sure what to do. They looked completely shocked and, in a way, it was almost humorous because that was what everyone’s reactions had been like.

“Oh my god, are you okay?” George asked, pulling you into him to give you a side hug.

“Yeah I’m fine, it’s been a month and I’m honestly fine” You smiled wrapping your arm around his back.

“You don’t have to say that Y/N, your allowed to not be okay”

You chucked and looked around at them all. “No honestly I mean it, I’m fine. It was a mutual thing and it was for the best. It was probably more my decision than it was his”

“Well as long as you’re happy, we’re happy” George said before kissing the top of your head.

You nodded in confirmation, “I’m happy, don’t worry”

You looked towards Matty and you could see that he was giving you the look that screamed that he was trying to figure out if you were being truthful or not. You smiled at him knowing what he was doing and gave a little nod.

Matty seemed to accept this with a wary look but he gave you a smile. He could also see that you didn’t really want to talk about it, so he changed the subject for you.

“So, what do you think of the new theme?” Matty asked you, gesturing around the busy room.

“If you’re on about the pink, I love it”

“Yeah, you even dressed for the occasion” Adam pointed out with a grin.

“Haha I didn’t even realise I’d done that” You laugh looking down at your pink shirt. “But yeah I love it. But what the fuck is up with the album name?”

“Blame Matty. You know how poetic he likes to get” Ross said pushing Matty’s shoulder in a playful manner, which you giggled at.

“Of course” You trailed off with a grin and Matty shook his head at the situation. However, they were then pulled away from you which you obviously didn’t mind about.

You decided to wonder around the room and take in all the neon signs. You liked to guess what each song was about by the song title and what it sounded like and when Matty came up to you about 10 minutes later he seemed to have guessed that’s what game you were playing.

“That one’s an instrumental. No lyrics… Well not really anyway” Matty explained from just behind you and you turned to him and smiled.

“You got a lot of instrumentals in this album?” You questioned as you continued to walk around the neon signs.

Matty followed you and confirmed, “Yeah, we’ve got a fair few. The one named after the album is a long one”

You chuckled and turned around towards him, so you were now slowly walking backwards. “Really? … Is it as long as your hair?” You giggled.

Matty laughed at that and then ran a hand through his hair, smiling, “Yeah, I decided to keep it long” 

You grinned back and chuckled as you reached up and started running your hands through his hair. His curls had gotten really long since the last time you’d seen him and now he also kept a little bit of hair on the sides.

As you ran your fingers through it messing it up, Matty grinned but then grabbed your wrists so you’d stop. He pulled you towards him and brought your hands down so they were trapped between the both of your bodies so you couldn’t continue.

“You really haven’t become less annoying, have you?” Matty joked, still grinning and keeping you in place.

You shook your head and giggled, “Nope” 

You shared a laugh with each other before you turned around and you started looking at the neon signs again. You walked and chatted with Matty for a bit until you stopped dead, when you saw what one neon sign in the distance said.

“Wait, you’ve got a song called Paris?” You asked him with your eyes were glued to the sign.

You just about tore your eyes away from it when Matty said, “Yeah”

After a long second, you decided you’d just ask, “Is that one about m- “

“Just the chorus… Just the chorus on that one” Matty confirmed offering you a smile.

You didn’t really know what to say to that. You obviously didn’t mind, if anything you were glad that you helped him make his amazing music in a way, but you didn’t know what to say about someone writing a song about you.

“You’re quite the muse Y/L/N” Matty smiled before walking towards the ‘Somebody Else’ sign and tapping the bars that held it up a few times.

“Did you actually like this one?” Matty asked and you could tell he was genuinely curious of your opinion. Just like he was with your reactions to the songs on the Self-Titled album.

“Yeah I loved it... You made me cry” You told him honestly.

Matty walked back towards you and offered you a sad smile, “I’m sorry”

“Don’t apologise, it’s amazing. I really really loved it. You’re very good and putting your feelings into words... I’m glad I’m friends with a lyrical genius” You smile at him.

Just as Matty was about to reply you heard your name being shouted by a familiar voice and then a body running to you and wrapping their arms around you. You looked down slightly and realised that it was Louis.

“Oh my god, hey!” You gasp feeling more excited than when you’d seen the boys.

When Louis let you go you asked each other how you were, and you were thankful he was doing great. You quickly fell into a conversation with him and Matty started to feel like he was third wheeling a conversation. But at the same time, he couldn’t stop smiling at you.

Your eyes flicked down and noticed Louis had a drink in his hand and your eyes went wide.

“Wait what are you drinking?” You questioned.

“A double vodka and coke” Louis told you like it was no big deal. But it definitely was to you.

“Oh my god! Does your Mum know?” You asked with wide eyes.

“Yeah she’s over there, she bought it me” He told you nodding towards where Denise was stood. 

You already couldn’t wait to chat to her.

“Oh my god. I’m gettin you drunk tonight” You grin before pulling him into you for a side hug.

“Finally” Louis grinned, but you frown at him.

“Wait, Matty hasn’t done that yet?” You said looking from him to his older brother.

When you were together Matty always said that he couldn’t wait until he was older to get him completely drunk. You actually couldn’t believe he still hadn’t done it.

“Not yet” Louis said whilst Matty shook his head before taking a sip of his own drink.

You guessed it was now your responsibly to get practically your little brother wasted.

“Well I’m gunna get you very drunk whether your brother likes it or not” You grinned.

“Well you can put them all on my tab. Fill your boots kid” Matty smiles and you grinned at Louis excited face.

“Just don’t share a bottle of vodka with anyone” He told Louis sternly.

“We don’t need it getting that messy at this party” Matty said looking up to you with a little knowing smile. 

God, it seemed like so long ago that you were sat in that bathtub with him drowning yourselves in that bottle of vodka.

You chuckled at what Matty said and nodded in agreement. You really didn’t want Louis to be getting up to that. In your mind he was still a cute and innocent 10-year-old child like he was when you first met him.

After that, the night moved on and you did get Louis quite drunk with Denise and Tim’s approval. You were doing shots every 10 minutes with him by the end of the night and he was definitely enjoying himself. But he was definitely going to have the worst hangover in the world the following day.

When it reached 2am you were feeling tipsy despite having loads of drinks. You should have been on the floor asleep like Louis practically was, but you felt okay. You felt like you could keep going another few hours.

“Y/N, you up for going out?” George asked you, waving you over to the circle of people that had congregated.

You walked towards the group and nodded your head, “Of course”. You smiled looking at the people around you. It was the boys, John, Jamie and their manager Jamie.

And you did all go out after saying goodbye to everyone and you had a really good night. Jamie Oborne left you all at about 3am, you could tell he only came out because the boys had forced him too and he didn’t want to say no. But it was nice to see him again after all these years, and he was still as lovely to you as ever.

You got on with the rest of the lads like you’d never left. So much so, that you were absolutely drinking them under the table and you probably put away more alcohol any of them by the time you were kindly asked to leave the bar.

John and Jamie said their goodbyes to you before they jumped in the closest taxi and then you were just left with your boys. “I don’t wanna go home yet” You whined in the empty street.

You wrapped your arms around Ross wanting one of his comforting hugs like you used to get all the time. His pulled you into his arms as the rest of the boys stood around you debating what to do next.

“Everywhere’s closed though Y/N/N” Ross pointed out as you hugged him. 

You whined closing your eyes. You just wanted more time with them.

“We could just go back to ours? I’m sure we’ve got bottles of stuff back there?” George suggests and you jump at the idea.

And that’s where you all ended up in Matty and George’s flat. It was a different one to the last time you’d been which you were sort of thankful for. You didn’t really want to think about that depressing time when you were having such a good one tonight.

You end up drinking in Matty and George’s flat for another hour or two and you all seemed to be having a great time. Even when the boys started slowly falling to sleep you were still having a great time because you still had someone to talk to.

Matty, of course, wasn’t tired and was still keeping you entertained with his chat. You missed seeing them all, so you were really glad you had the night out with them. You were really thankful that you’d been invited.

You were sat on the ground cross legged in front of Matty. The other boys’ snores from next to your ear hand it difficult to hear what Matty was saying to you moved. You’d been sat like that for 20 minutes before you realised that you needed another drink.

“Do you want another drink?” You asked Matty as you attempted to get up. Your head was now fuzzy, but you still knew what you wanted.

“Sure” Matty smiled.

“Sweet, can you help me up please” You asked him, reaching your arms out to him.

Matty chuckled and took your hands in his before holding them tightly before pulling on them. You then got up with ease and you grabbed both of your glasses.

Matty watched as you walked to the kitchen door and he saw you wobble your way into the room. He saw things going south so he decided he should probably be a good person and stop you from having another drink.

Matty got himself up and made his way over to you. He watched as you stood at the counter trying and failing to pour the vodka into the glasses.

A bit of it spilt over the side and Matty smiled at your attempts before he took the vodka bottle off you and put the lid back on it.

“Come on Y/N. You’re half asleep” Matty pointed out before you could ask why he took the vodka away.

Matty saw that your eyes kept dropping and he could just tell from your body language that you were tired. “Come on” Matty eased you out of the kitchen by taking your hand.

You practically fell into Matty when he pulled you out of the room which caused him to throw an arm around your shoulder so he could keep you up if he needed to.  

In your drunken and drowsy state, you leaned on Matty to get you into the correct room because you really couldn’t see straight. You felt him lead you through into a room and he made you sit down on what was a really comfy bed.

“Matty, I’m cold” You whine wrapping your arms around yourself.

“Oh god, not you cold” Matty joked but he said it with a smile.

You let out a little giggle at that and watched the long-haired boy in front of you twirl on the spot like he was looking for something.

“Here you go” Matty said picking up a black hoodie that was hung over a chair in his room.

“Thank you” You said already beginning to shiver.

Before Matty knew what you were doing, you took your shirt off over your head and you were sat on his bed with just your bra on your top half. Matty’s eyes widened before he turned away from you to give you some privacy.

He busier himself by routing through things on his desk until a minute passed and Matty looked at you and you were in his first album hoodie. He watched as you immediately climbed into his bed and lay yourself down.

“I’ll see you tomorrow Y/N” Matty said as he grabbed a blanket from the floor and headed towards his bedroom door.

But before he got to the door, you called him, “Where are you going?”

“George’s room” Matty tells you, holding his blanket up to show you.

You shook your head at him. “No, I’m cold. Come warm me up like you used to” You whined.

“Y/N/N...” He started but you interrupted him.

“Don’t leave me cold, sad, and alone. Please” You pleaded.

Matty stopped at that and turned the light out. He shut the door and made his way around to the other side of his bed whilst asking, “Why are you sad?”

Your eyes adjusted to the darkness as Matty’s got under the covers and he put his arm around you. You turned toward him and hugged yourself to him and rested your head on his chest.

“I just miss you guys so much” You half whispered, feeling a lump in your throat. But Matty could still hear the sadness in your voice.

At that revelation Matty started rubbing your back to sooth you more than to bring you warmth. He didn’t really know what to say to that other than the obvious.

“We’re only a phone call away” He said as he pulled the covers up around the both of you some more and then continued to rub your back and your arm that now lay over his stomach.

“Yeah but you’re all busy and I never wanna bother you and I don’t wanna make things awkward more than it already is after everything. It’s just when I lost you, I lost them too and you know...It hurts a bit” You rambled holding back tears but Matty could hear your emotion in your voice.

“I’m sorry Y/N. I really am” Matty told you as he kept a hold of you.

“It’s okay” You whispered.

“No. It’s not, but I’m trying to be better. I promise. Screwing you over really fucked me up for a long while and I don’t wanna do that to anyone again” He said honestly, and he felt you take a fist full of the top that he still wore.

“I just want you to know that I’m actually sorry. Like really sorry” He expressed, and you could hear that he meant it.

“Thank you” You half choked out but the way you said it pained Matty. It hurt his heart to hear you upset again.

For a second you debate asking something that’s been on your mind since things ended between you. You didn’t really want to ask and bring it back up, but 2 years was a long time to wait for your answer.

“Can I ask you a question?” You asked him.

Matty nodded his head saying “‘Course you can”

“Was it just her or was there anyone else before?” You asked reluctantly.

It took Matty a second to realise what you were talking about until it clicked for him and his heart sank. You must have wanted to know the answer to that for years and you’d had to live not knowing.

“It was just her. I promise. I’m a dickhead, it shouldn’t have even happened the once. I am genuinely so sorry” Matty told you.

“Did I do anything wrong? Like did you do it because I wasn’t doing something right?” You asked, the lump in your throat making it difficult to get out.

“No” Matty admitted holding you slightly tighter. “God no… You were the best thing that ever could have happened to me Y/N. I was just a fucked up prick who couldn’t see what he was about to mess up. I genuinely hate myself for it”

He then felt you let out a shaky breath at that and his hand started rubbing your back more. He felt so guilty that he’d caused you this much pain that you obviously still felt over 2 years later.

You had never felt any relief like the one that just ran through you.

You took a second to collect your thoughts until you found the courage to say, “If it helps, I don’t hate you for it anymore”

“How - Why?” Matty asked finding it unbelievable. He didn’t understand how you could have forgiven him for it.

“If it hadn’t happened, I would have never found Tom again and you would have never got with Halsey and even though we aren’t with them now they both still made us happy”

Matty wanted to say that he thought that Tom made you a lot happier than Halsey made him. Not because she did anything wrong, just the fact that Matty was wasted and high all the time and it was another relationship that broke down because of his recreational activities.

Matty felt the urge to ask you about what happened with Tom, but he thought against it. That was a question for another day. So Matty turned the subject to something a bit lighter.

“Hey, you know if you miss us you can call us whenever you want, right? We miss you too. We miss everyone” Matty assures you with a sad smile on his face that you couldn’t see.

“Even Steve?” You questioned with a little laugh.

Matty chuckled, “Yeah but only a bit. He’s still an arsehole”

That made the both of you chuckle and after a minute you were both lay in silence. The only sound that could be heard was the both of you breathing and you felt quite peaceful.

You didn’t know whether that was down to Matty’s presence or the alcohol though.

You craned your head up to try and look if he was still awake and when you saw him move to look down at you, you got your answer.

“Thank you” You told him.

“It’s okay” Matty replied, not really understanding what you were thankful for completely, but he had a few ideas to choose from.

You lent forward and your lips found his for a few seconds. You felt his arms still for a second as the action must have surprised him slightly.

It was just a small and simple kiss. One of forgiveness and thanks for taking care of you. You’d missed him a lot the past few years and you’d finally got the apology and answers you’d so desperately wanted after such a long time.

You pulled away and you rested your head back on his chest. You listened to his heartbeat to try and lull yourself into sleep like you used to.

“Night Matty” You yawned as you closed your eyes.

Matty put his head back down on his pillow and started to rub your back again. “Goodnight Y/N/N” He whispered with a smile.

~*~*~*~

The feel of his lips grazing up your thigh makes you lightheaded as you once again felt the sensation of Matty being between your legs. The anticipation of what was to come had you gripping the bedsheets and your breathing was a little shaky.

Feeling his lips on your skin once again, felt amazing even when he teased you by ghosting over where you were aching for him and proceeding to carry on kissing up your body. His hands felt like they were everywhere at once, his body consumed yours in the best way. He knew what you liked so he repeated what he knew.

Matty pushed your hoodie up exposing more of your skin to him and you allowed him to take it off you. He hadn’t even done anything yet and your breathing was already ragged, and you were excited for the first time in a long time.

Matty pushed you back down onto the bed and the way he looked at you with those lustful eyes made you want him to take you there and then. But you knew Matty liked to drag things out and the way his eyes danced across your exposed chest you could tell he would take his time.

Matty lent forward and kissed your lips a few times before his lips started to trail down your body. Eventually, his lips attached to your chest and you couldn’t contain the moans that wanted to escape your lips anymore.

You weren’t even trying to keep the curly haired boy off you. You wanted him to carry on.

“Matty” You groaned trying to get his attention away from your chest. You wanted more than just his kisses.

It didn’t seem to be working so you repeated yourself, “Matt” and you knotted your fingers in his long curly hair and pulled on it.

Matty looked up into your eyes and by his look alone he made you nervous. Especially as he got closer to you. You hadn’t been with him for so long and the thought made you nervous.

In a good way though. You just hadn’t thought about him in that way for such a long time. Yet you wanted him like it was only yesterday you started seeing him.

“I’ve missed you” He said in a low husky voice that he knew drove you insane.

Between his kisses you managed to say, “I’ve missed this” which makes Matty groan.

Matty’s lips connected with yours and you moan at the contact, especially when his hand moves down between your legs and he starts pleasuring you like he used to.

You moaned into his kisses which were needy and rough, both of you getting exactly what you wanted from it. You felt lucky he could tell exactly what you wanted so when you were about to ask for more Matty curled his fingers inside you which caused you to moan loudly against his lips.

It dawned on you that you’d wanted this for a long time. You wanted him again, and nothing about this was something you’d ever regret. You really wanted him. You wanted Matty.

Just as things were about to escalate further, you were startled by the sound, “Y/N”

You opened your eyes to a very mundane setting with your heart beating rapidly. You looked around slightly and realised you were in Matty’s new bedroom and you were lay on his chest, the same way you’d fallen asleep probably only a matter of hours ago.

You looked up at him with wide shocked eyes. You couldn’t believe you’d just had a dream about him almost fucking you whilst lay in his arms.

“You okay?” Matty asked you.

You nodded clearing your throat, “Yeah”

Your heart was rapidly thudding in your chest and it took you a few deep breaths to calm yourself back down. You realised you had hold of a fistful of his top that he still wore, and you slowly let go of that as your breathing returned to a normal rate.

“Sorry, you were breathing dead heavy and it sounded like you were having a nightmare” Matty told you.

You rested your head back on his chest in your previous position before letting out a long breath.

“No, it’s okay. It was just a dream” You whisper already starting to fall back to sleep but Matty was now wide awake after that sentence.

He thought you were groaning and calling his name in your sleep because you were scared. A smile appeared on Matty’s face at the realisation that you were actually dreaming about him in a completely different way.

He chuckled silently to himself before he hugged you slightly closer to him. And Matty fell asleep with a smile on his face.

At least you still thought about him the same way he thought about you.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Taglist: @the-girl-before @dot-writes @lololovestaylor @murderousginger @peachquestions @siwiecola @nostalgic1975 @fairyyyfloss @theycallmenefi @colette2194 @maroonmolly @sexycleopatra @mrsprescott @fullmoonremus @whenthe-smokeisinyoureyes @minigranger @bitcheswithbrokenhearts

[letmetellyouaboutmyfeels]

hi i'm crying over garcyatt so i'm just gonna prompt drop... them finding out that poly marriage is legal now *sobs*

Gaaaaaaah God I wish that for them, my darlings. (As a note, poly marriage is not actually legal, this is if it did become legal. In case there is confusion.)

Flynn was making dinner when Lucy burst through the front door. “Did you hear!?”

He wracked his brain, trying to think what she could be talking about. There hadn’t been any particular gossip in the group, nothing from Rufus or Denise… he didn’t listen to the radio on his commute, preferring music, so if there was a new political scandal he wasn’t aware of it. He’d worry it was the kids, but Wyatt had been home with them all day and Flynn had been here for half an hour so he was pretty sure if Maria had gotten into trouble at kindergarten or Ethan had tried to stick his finger in a light socket, Wyatt would’ve told him already.

“No?” he answered, setting aside the pasta sauce.

Lucy, instead of explaining anything, marched up to him and took his face in her hands, kissing him deeply, soundly, for quite some time.

Flynn responded (how could he not), his hands falling to her waist, and when she pulled back, he saw her eyes were shining in that particular way that meant she was trying not to cry, or had perhaps already done some crying. Her cheeks were rather pink.

“Is everything all right?” he asked. Was something going on with the timeline? Had the outcome they all still feared - Rittenhouse returning - come to pass?

Lucy nodded, and smiled brilliantly. “Wyatt?”

“Shh!” Wyatt padded quietly down the stairs. “Ethan’s still asleep, took me forever to get him to nap today - what? What’s wrong?”

Lucy reached out her hand and Wyatt took it automatically, shooting Flynn a bewildered look. Flynn shrugged.

“It’s legal,” Lucy announced, her voice soft and awed. “They legalized polyamorous marriage. We can - it can be all three of us.”

Wyatt flushed and Flynn could see him swallow. “You - you mean - you’re sure?”

Lucy nodded, and this time tears really did fall. Flynn kissed her cheeks, tasting the salt, and reached out for Wyatt as well, the two of them pulling him in. Wyatt immediately tucked his face into Flynn’s neck, shaking, breathing heavily.

They no longer had to worry about legal issues if something happened to one of them. They didn’t have to hide things to their neighbors, Maria’s teachers, at work. They could stop being careful, stop double checking, stop hiding.

“I love you,” Lucy whispered. “I love you so much.” Her nails dug into his back. Flynn rubbed her shoulders, kissed the top of her head, kissed Wyatt’s temple. His heart felt so full he feared it might fall out of him.

“Shit,” Wyatt mumbled. “You know what this means? We gotta have a wedding.”

“We don’t have to…” Flynn started.

“Nah, we gotta.”

Flynn nudged Wyatt’s hair with his nose. “Does that mean you want a wedding?”

“…maybe?” Wyatt hadn’t gotten anything with Jess, just the two of them at the church with Jess’s parents witnessing.

Truth be told, Flynn was a bit old fashioned. He liked the idea of all of them together, making promises, reaffirming their bond in front of their friends.

“We can do that, then,” he said. “If that’s what you want.”

Wyatt nodded into his neck. Flynn’s shirt was a bit wet - at his collar and at his chest where Lucy had buried her face - but he didn’t comment on it. He just kept holding them.

Dinner could wait a little while.

[crossbows-and-moonshine]

Dark Ages (DarylxReader)

Can you do a Daryl x reader where the reader gets a small cold and daryl becomes extremely over protective which annoys the reader and ends in fluff??

Warnings; flooof

-----------------------------

You sat on the couch lounging about lazily, flipping the page of a magazine that was years old and had no place in the new world, oh how you missed celebrity gossip. You sneezed softly, covering your nose, you’d woken up feeling a little under the weather. Daryl's head whipped to you from where he was sat in the armchair, cleaning his crossbow. He looked mortified and you just quirked a brow at him wondering why he looked like he’d just witness someone kick a puppy in front of him.

“You’re sick? Why the fuck didn’t ya tell me!” he frowned, his bow falling to the floor with a clatter as he stalked over to you, sitting next to you and feeling your face. You huffed, swatting his hand away and moving back slightly.

“It’s just a cold Daryl, I’m fine,” you whined, smacking his hand once more when he tried to reach out and feel your head again.

“What, are ya a doctor now? Might not be a fuckin’ cold,” he scowled, clearly unimpressed that you wouldn't let him check you for a fever.

“Trust me, it's a cold,” you snorted, trying to go back to reading your magazine.

“It could be a virus, or the fuckin’ flu! Don't ya know that shit can kill ya now, we’re back in the dark ages here y/n,” he protested, taking the magazine and flinging it across the room. You squinted at him with a sigh.

“Daryl…” you started, but he was having none of it.

“Nah, come on, you’re seeing Denise,” he demanded, making you bristle.

“No, I don’t need to see Denise,” you insisted firmly.

“Ya say that like ya got a damn choice in the matter,” he left no room for argument as he stood and dragged you along with him, maybe when Denise told him it was a cold, he would give up about it and calm down.

“Yeah, it’s just a cold. Just take it easy and drink plenty, you'll be fine,” Denise smiled after she had checked you over, Daryl stood watching like a hawk.

“See, I told you,” you smirked at him, maybe a little smugly, but still. He crossed his broad arms over his chest with a huff, clearly unhappy and not really placated. You had a sneaking feeling that despite Denise confirming what you had already told him, he wasn't listening anyway. You were right, when you got home he made you get in bed, wrapping you up like a little burrito. He returned a few minutes later with a steaming cup of tea as he sat on the bed facing you.

“You really don’t have to do this Daryl, it's just a cold,” you sighed, you knew he cared and it was sweet, but sometimes he could be so overbearing. Just last week you stubbed your toe and he came bursting into the room with his bow at the ready. When he realised no one was in the room trying to murder you, he had refused to let you walk all day and forced you to rest, for a fucking stubbed toe.

“We don't know that,” he replied, handing you the tea as he watched you carefully.

“Denise said its a cold,” you sighed exasperatedly and he narrowed his eyes at you.

“The fuck does she know?” he huffed petulantly, and you squinted over your cup.

“You’re the one who wanted me to see her in the first place,” you stated with a smirk, he just growled in response.

“Yeah, well…” he frowned, moving to tuck you in more.

“Daryl, seriously, I’m fucking fine okay? It’s a cold, I’m not dying!” you scolded. He moved back, his jaw clenched as he glared at you.

“Fine,” he spat, standing up and leaving the room. You flinched when you heard the front door slam, the man could be dramatic at times.

You did feel guilty though. You knew he just wanted to help and he cared but you felt crappy, you just wanted to rest, not have him poke and prod at you like he expected you to grow another arm or turn into a damn waker. You didn't go after him, you knew him well enough to let him cool down first, you really didn't feel like having a shouting match in front of everyone here, it wouldn't have been the first time. It was about an hour later when you heard the front door open again and you got up and made your way downstairs. Daryl was in the kitchen pouring himself a glass of water. When he heard you, he turned to look at you before turning back around, still mad at you it seemed.

You inhaled deeply, swallowing your pride as you walked over and wrapped your arms around his middle from behind.

“I’m sorry,” you sighed, clinging to him. You felt him relax as you held him and his hand came to rest on your arm.

“It's fine,” he said gruffly. You moved away and he turned to look at you, he looked so sad and it instantly increased your guilt.

“Its not fine Daryl, you were being sweet, I’m sorry for being a bitch,” you admitted, looking at him sheepishly.

“I know I was bein’ a bit much, just care is all,” he shrugged as he glanced down, his hair falling over his eyes. You stepped closer, once again wrapping your arms around him as you looked up at him, not letting him avoid your eyes.

“I know you do, and I love that you care. I shouldn't have snapped,” you blinked up at him as he just looked down at you, his hand coming up to stroke your cheek.

“Feelin’ any better?” he asked as you leant into his touch, it made his lips quirk into a small smile, he always loved how you did that.

“I do actually, I think your tea really helped,” you grinned up at him. You saw his chest swell with pride that something he did actually helped you and made you feel a little better and you resisted the urge to pinch his cheeks, you knew he’d kick your ass if you did that.

“Good, still want ya to rest though, at least for the rest of the day,” he said, making you bite your tongue, he cared, that was all that mattered.

“Alright, on one condition. You rest with me,” you smirked, he huffed a laugh, leaning down to kiss your lips sweetly.

“Deal, now get your ass upstairs woman,” he snorted, shoving you lightly towards the stairs.

True to his word, when you got upstairs, he climbed into bed with you and just cuddled you for a while, talking about anything and everything with you. By the end of the night, when you hadn’t sneezed anymore, he finally seemed to grasp you weren't in fact dying and all of his tension seemed to melt from him. You knew as soon as you got another cold though it would happen all over again, but this time you’d just let him fuss over you, knowing it would make him feel better.

Taglist; @risingphoenix761 @daryldixonandfrogs @arlaina28 @divadinag @keeperofwonderlandus

[cartoonfangirl1218]

This is my son

So in honor of YJ: Outsiders and the fact that we have an onscreen view of Amistad. Here is a little fic I did ages ago of how Rocket may have introduced her son to the Team. Lots of info was taken from the comics since the show doesn’t explore Raquel’s past a lot. Hope you enjoy. 

Raquel sighed as she settled a fussy Amistad for bedtime. She had to read him three books by Dr. Seuss and sing to him before his eyes even started to droop. He was a stubborn little boy, sorta like her. She gently rocked his blue cradle before turning off the lights to his room. 

She padded downstairs and glanced at the old Colonial grandfather clock. 11 pm. It was that late, maybe if she tried to really hard, she could write her economics proposal now, half of her History essay and then finish it in the morning along with her trigonometry homework. 

She shook her head as she thought over the coming morning, she'd have to do both essays right now especially if Amistad won't eat his food right away. It's a literal battle to feed him, and then get him out of the house to daycare. She hated the thought of dealing with him when he gets older. 

She settled on the living room couch spend out the books she needed and her laptop on her lap with a tray of coffee cups. 

She had crunched through the history essay. It was defiantly not her best but it would have to do, she'd settle for a C at the least. 

Then Augustus Freeman aka the superhero alien known as Icon came in. 

"Raquel you're still up?"

"No, I'm sleep-walking. Yes I'm still awake" Raquel snapped back sarcastically. 

"You do know that you have training with the Team tomorrow afternoon right?" Raquel groaned. 

The life of a teenage superhero. She recently joined a Team of teenage superheroes who no longer wanted to be treated as sidekicks. Batman (yes that freakin Batman!) was the one who assigned them black ops missions as they saved the world. 

Unlike some of the sidekicks like Robin or Aqualad, she had only become a superhero two years ago when she and her ex-boyfriend, Noble (the irony) had tried to steal some stuff from this old Colonial house that had been standing since the Civil War. 

While Noble looked for things to loot, she had been fascinated by the immense library the house had. She always loved to read and dreamed of becoming a writer, so that room was like a personal heaven for her. She wanted to just curl up on the old couch and look at the gleaming hardcover volumes. 

Then they saw the alien technology. 

Unfortunately they hadn't counted for the house to be occupied by a superhero. Augustus Freeman, lawyer by day but in reality a three thousand year old alien, the last of his kind as all aliens that crash land to Earth seem to be, who fought for justice. 

Though they had ran away that day, Raquel had returned to the house. 

She had been the one to convince Augustus to become a superhero. He was Batman. She was his Robin. Icon had initially refused, but she kept needling him until he had decided to give it a go. 

The city sure needed them as heroes. Dakota City may not be a Gotham in terms of danger, but there was plenty of violence and injustice that needed to be righted.  

It had been a tense first months since Icon was so damn conservative and analytical while she was more impulsive, liberal and action-oriented. But they eventually made their partnership turn into a smooth in sync team. 

Back back to her impulsive habits.

Something she wished she reined her impulsivity earlier. That same impulsiveness led her to agree to having sex with Noble. Their relationshop didn't last, him being an asshole had a major part to do with it. What did last was the fact that she had gotten pregnant. 

Raquel never felt so miserable in her life. The taunts and the whispers and the same old comment, "Oh she's from Paris Island what did you expect?" 

Abortion had been an option, Augustus highly advised it, and Noble even gave her the money to do it when he found out the news. But she quite obviously didn't get an abortion. 

She asked and asked around for opinions and the answer was always "Yes, get one" but she had felt disappointed by that. She finally realized that disappointed was that she had wanted someone to say "No, keep the baby" because she, she wanted to see this through and have a baby. Not the smartest decision in the world, but it was her's nonetheless. 

Despite his disapproval, Augustus had been very helpful when she had been pregnant. He dealt with her food cravings and mood swings, and buying baby stuff, reading parenting books and eventually with the labor. Amisted's middle name was Augustus in honor of her mentor, and she had asked him to be the godfather. 

Her friend, Denise even stood in as Rocket for her while her baby bump started to show. Make that ex-friend. The girl ran off with Noble awhile later, insisting "He changed." So what? You don't date the ex that got your friend pregnant, it is a common friendship rule! She hoped they gave each other syphilis.

Eventually she settled into a routine of taking care of Amisted in the mornings, drop him off at daycare, go to school, take care of him until he fell asleep and then do homework at whatever hour at night. In the weekends it had been easier since she could spend the whole doing Mommy and Me stuff with Amistad and more leisure time while he napped. 

Then she joined the Team, and things started to go a bit downhill. Besides the missions, they had required training sessions with Black Canary, and strategic planning with Captain Atom. And then, Miss Martian, such a sweetheart, always had plans for Team bonding time. It was a bit stressful with work and such, not that the team members didn't get that, they went to regular school too. But... She hadn't told them she had a son. 

It's been four months now, and they had no clue. Just as she wanted. It had been a struggle, with the lies on why she was so tired, her refusals to join Team bonding (on account of being needed at home), her worry during overnight missions (IT WAS OVERNIGHT, WHO KNOWS WHAT MIGHT HAPPEN TO AMISTAD WHEN SHE'S GONE!!). She'd saying that she was babysitting her baby brother, but Robin was starting to question why she was always babysitting when her parents could do that. 

There was one embarrassing incident, that she had fallen asleep next to Wally, when she heard the alarm, mistaken it for the baby monitor and started rocking Wally's head like how she usually rocked Amsted when he was crying. That involved a very interesting yet lame explanation about her Rosemary's Baby inspired dream.  

It's just she always swore to herself that she wouldn't be the kind of teen mom that let all things go. That she failed at school, hardly cared for her child and did whatever she wanted. She did want to get straights As and be a good mother. She loved Amistad more than she loved anyone else in the whole world and the thought of someone trying to harm him made her want to kill. But it was all so stressful. 

"You know, Raquel I'm sure they would understand.." Augustus started to say, 

"Don't finish that sentence" Raquel scowled. 

They had been having this argument ever since she joined the Team. "Just tell them you have a son, they'll be understanding." Augustus insisted. 

Oh, no they wouldn’t. They're teenagers. No offense to her own kind but teens are very critical. And she did't want to further the stereotype that girls from the 'hood' were sluts that had babies and nothing else to show for the life.

Okay, yes she was from the hood and yes, she had a baby but that was where the parallels stopped!

Besides she wanted so badly to impress the Team with her maturity and bravery and just general heroics. The whole having a son thing would kind of ruin it. 

Oh and ruin any possible love life. 

Most boys at her school avoided her like a plague and those who didn't. Well they thought she was so easy because she had a child. Perverts. 

She hated school for all the people and the Team was the only place she wasn't judged. Sure, she wasn't spending so much time hanging out with them as she would like too but she still appreciated hanging out with them. They were chill, and mature and they understood all the grey in life. 

Grey like death, cloning, discriminations, things out of their control. They couldn't be blamed for being a White Martian, or raised by villains or having to kill people.  

But grey situations like teen pregnancy hadn’t been out of her control. It had been her own stupid decision and there wasn't anyone to blame but herself. 

"Raquel, they've been through a lot. They won't judge you so harshly." 

"Yes they will" Raquel muttered bitterly. 

"Raquel please think about it. It would be a lot easier on yourself. You could take Amistad to the Cave, and I'm sure Red Tornado could take care of him while you're on missions, I'll help of course. Please consider it." 

Raquel didn't know why, but she was tired of hearing the same explanation of why she should tell. Augustus didn’t understand. It wasn’t like he went to work where people stared at him as if he were trash. He didn’t have to deal with the mothers gossiping about him when he picked Amistad up from daycare. He didn't have to explain to Amistad, why no one wanted to go on playdates with him. 

"No, I cannot tell the Team, I just can't! Once I tell them, they’ll think I'm just another idiot that sleeps around. I have been trying so hard to go to school, and take care of Amistad, and live a normal life. But I can't! Sometimes I just wish he hadn't been born. Then I feel like a horrible mother because I do love him, I love him, he's he's my baby boy but it's it's... 

I mean yeah, I always talk about how the Team is so mature and how they’ve been through stuff, but they wouldn't understand this. They're still teenagers. They’re gonna be like the kids at my school, offering me condoms and sending notes on HOW TO USE a condom. 

You’ve got to believe me I did use one. I just didn't know how put it on okay. No one teaches you how to do that. They just say use it and you'll be safe. Well that didn’t worked did it? 

The team cannot accept me. They won't. I'll spell it out for you. My own parents didn't accept me. They took me to the hospital, confirmed I was pregnant, and left me. They left me in the hospital and drove away. I spent three days in that hospital with nurses pitying me or scolding me on how I could have done this to myself and how I ruined my life!" Raquel shouted.

After those three days in the hospital, she had gone to Augustus’ house in tears and explained what happened. He had offered for her to live in the third floor of the old mansion and that's where she had stayed. 

Eventually, months later, with a lot of prodding from Augustus she decided it was time to face her parents and confront them for what they did to her.  She told him that they had refused to see her, but it didn't exactly go that way. 

"And that time I told you I would face my parents after what they did to me. I lied. I didn't see them at all. I mean I was going to, but they weren't home. My sister, Denise was. And she was so surprised and happy. Know why? 

Because my parents told him I was dead."

Augustus stared at her in horror which only made her talk faster to get the whole awful explanation over with. 

"They said that on that day they drove me to the hospital. They collided with a car and it burst into flames. They couldn't have my funeral because they didn't know which ashes were mine.

They went through so much trouble pretending to grieve and needing their privacy and lied to my sister about it. 

How could I face them after hearing that! 

My own parents would want me dead then have to admit to having a teen mom.

My own parents who were suppose to love me unconditionally, left me! That's why I can't tell the Team. I mean if my own parents who cared for me for 13 years want me dead then how can people I know for less than 7 months ever understand." Raquel slammed her laptop shut and stomped up to her room where she fell onto her bed, crying. 

It had felt good to let it out in the open. The whole thing with parents had bothered her. 

She agonized over it for days afterward as. And for a short period, she acted extra nice to Augustus, in case he ever decided it was stupid to keep taking care of her. Until she realized he would never do that. Sure, he could be critical of her choices but he wasn't heartless. 

They developed a respect for one another. He had became her grandfather figure. Plus she was pretty sure if he hadn't ran for the hills after she gave birth to Amisted, he wasn't going to leave any time soon. 

Agustus entered her room a few minutes later, cautiously knocking on the door before he sat at the edge of her bed. 

"Raquel, I'm sorry about your parents." He whispered softly. 

"S'okay. I've gotten over it." Raquel mumbled to her pillow. 

"I promise I won't badger you to talk to the Team about Amistad." He told her.  

"Thank you" Raquel sighed, turning over to face him. He looked so grim and forbidding in the moonlight. It was so unlike him to her. She was used to seeing  the soft smile that she had seen wear when he played with her son. To her, he was far too compassionate and mellow to be intimidating. 

He let out a deep exhale, his large hand ruffling her cropped hair affectionately. "You must know, not everyone is going to leave you for your mistakes. You are a very smart lady, and you have been a better mother to Amistad starting at 14 than many have been starting at 30. I think we've both learned a lot life lessons from taking care of him. He brings a certain liveliness to the house, and I'm never been prouder to be called Uncle Auggy." 

Raquel gave a thin smile, "And what about my parents?”  

"I can't condone what they did, Raquel. But I promise I will not do that to you. I'll even fight Batman myself if he or the Team thinks less of you for this. You are more than your mistakes. It’s what you have done to fix them and improve yourself that makes you a good person. You haven't lost your drive, your integrity or your spirit, and you are willing to make sacrifices for your child. If the Team can't see that. You should feel that they are less than you instead of the other way around." ----------------------------------------------------------------------------—————The next afternoon at training, Raquel kept glancing nervously at the door. 

After her talk with Augustus yesterday and a long restless night, no thanks to Amistad’s latest nightmares about It. She and come to the decision that she would finally tell the team. She agreed with Augustus that she should stop pinning shame onto herself and she should judge the Team for their reaction. 

Also she knew what harm secrets had done to the Team, and it was unfair that she knew so much of their struggles and they didn't know hers.

Besides she remembered his other points, it would make life a whole lot easier for her if the other members took turns to take care of him. It wasn’t like everyone was going to react like her parents. 

Worse case scenario would be that she got kicked out of the Team. Augustus leaves the League. Then they both would be banned from ever super-heroing again.

Okay that was probably an exaggeration. 

But then again, Batman could do anything. Especially if he got angry that she lied to him.

With those doubts swirling in her head, Raquel didn't feel like a good idea any more, and was trying to think of a way to contact Augustus before he entered the Cave. 

I should leave. I'll stop them before they even enter. This is stupid. I'm right. What kind of person WOULDN'T judge a teen mom. They're all gonna think I'm a slut! Why would that want to work with a slutty superhero? I'm going to get kicked out for sure.

She glanced at the zeta-beams, wondering if she could make her escape before anyone would notice. 

Just then the computer announced,  "Entering Icon A-14. Entering Unknown Person" 

Raquel let out a silent moan. Here comes the judgement day.

The whole Team, and Back Canary looked questioningly at the two entering. 

"Awww Rocket, is this your baby brother?" Zatanna asked.

Icon pried a nervous Amisted clinging from his leg, handing him to her told and and went to talk to Black Canary about the situation. 

Raquel bit back an instinctive aww as Amistad tried hiding his face into her shoulder. He was just so adorable! 

"He's so cute!" Miss Martian squealed. 

"I guess he's cute" Superboy grunted. 

Raquel took a deep, shuddery breath "Uh well...That’s what I wanted to talk to you about. I haven't been entirely honest with you about my home life and the exact way we are related. You see, Amistad isn’t my brother. 

They stared at her questioningly. 

"He's my son," They stared at her in silence with confused looks on Miss Martian and Superboy's faces. The others gave embarrassed glances at her. 

"I don't get it. Aren't you only 16?" Miss Martian asked innocently, Raquel nodded reluctantly. 

More staring. This was as awkward as she feared. They were never going to treat her the same way again. Forget getting kicked out, she might have to quit. She wouldn't be able to deal with this kind of silence and pitying stares aimed her. 

Since it seemed like her announcement had stunned them into muteness she decided to make an exit. "So, yeah. That’s my big..secret. I should be going." 

She turned to leave when Wally zoomed in front of her. "Can I hold him?" 

Raquel was so surprised that she almost dropped Amistad. Hold him? No one ever held him, but her and Icon. 

Yet she saw the sincerity in Wally's eyes, and the encouraging smile, nodding at her to say yes. No one had ever looked at her that way after they realized her teen mom status. No one ever looked so eager to hold her son. 

"Yeah, um here you go.” She placed Amistad in his arms, and corrected the way to hold him. 

"Hey Amistad, it's your Uncle Wall-man. We are gonna have a blast when you get older" Wally said holding out a finger for Amistad to grab. 

"Wall-e?" Amistad asked, wonder and amazement streaking across his face, making him look even more adorable in Raquel’s eyes. 

"No, no not the robot. I'm the greatest speedster of all time. Superhero of this Earth. I save the day with charm, and wit and the amazing power of science!" Wally gestured exaggeratedly.

Raquel smiled at him. She never been so grateful for the hungry speedster in her life. 

"Thank you" she mouthed to him, and he mouthed back "No problem," as he continued detailing his amazing exploits to the boy who was clearly going to idolize him when he got older. 

Slowly the others gathered around them.

"Is he gonna be visiting more often? I have the perfect bat light he'll love." Robin said. 

"We can be like his honorary aunts and uncles," Zatanna chimed in, cooing at him.  "That would be great, that would be really great.” Raquel smiled, feeling like she was starting to truly become apart of the Team’s ragtag family at last. 

[iridescentwinters]

with a heavy heart

— summary: au! it was the monday after, a.k.a nora’s first day. and while making new friends, she learns about her old ones. more specifically her old best friend.

↳ part three of the four-part series “puppy love”

↳ also available on ao3

nora inhaled the cool spanish breeze.

oh yeah, she thought giddily, i most definitely am back home.

luckily, nora’s father hadn’t sold the house after they left, so they managed to move back without finding a new place.

nora smiled, as she looked outside her bedroom window and caught sight of her swing set. she had pretty good memories there, with alejandro especially.

alejandro…. the name made her smile fade slowly. her eyes then trail over to the house next to hers. maybe it was because she hadn’t seen the place in so long, but it seemed so… lifeless. the colour most definitely let her know that the de miguels were in due for a repaint job.

but the lights were out. and it was only early evening. did they move out? she wondered. no way, she thought with a shake her head. it was alejandro’s great grandmother’s place and his sister isabella loved it. she turned away from the window, after deciding on not giving it more thought. she was only a year older than me but was still a kid. she obviously lost the whole home sentiment.

“nora.” her father called her name after knocking on her slightly ajar door. “your mother’s calling for dinner.”

nora looked back at the man. “she managed to cook?” she asked, surprised. mr grace shrugged. “if your definition of cooking is pouring water into three cups of mac n’ cheese, then yes. she did.”

the girl smiled. “can’t say no to instant mac n’ cheese.”

of course the weekend passed by quick, and nora found herself looking into the mirror, straightening out her already straightened clothes. she applied her signature red lipstick (something she picked up from her mother), but was wondering if it was a bit much. sighing, she scolded herself. stop overthinking everything!

grabbing her bag which was on the floor, she looked through her window again. her father had gone for a quick stop at the minimart that was around the corner and passed by the house to see if anyone was home, but he found that it was empty. so the de miguels did move out. nora wondered if they left the country.

standing up straighter, she held her head up high like how her mother taught her to whenever she was anxious or afraid, before turning on her heel and walking out of her room. it didn’t matter if he was still here or not. they weren’t friends anymore, and she’d make new friends. she gulped at the thought of new friends. hopefully she did.

her parents were already sitting at the dining table. the kitchen was starting to look normal again because of the grocery shopping they did over the weekend. mrs grace set a bowl of cereal at the vacant spot of the table, along with a glass of water. there was a brown bag sitting on the kitchen counter. “ready for your first day?” she asked. nora nodded, despite feeling quite the opposite of ready. she was feeling the normal first day jitters, and she wasn’t really in the mood to listen to her parents saying that everything was going to be fine.

half an hour later, the three of them were in a car, on the way to the first destination which was nora’s new high school. once they reached the school, mr and mrs grace looked back at their daughter.

“have a good first day, baby.” mrs grace said. “remember, don’t trust everyone immediately.” mr grace warned. that made nora’s heart drop.

“i’m not naïve like that anymore, dad.” she muttered, fiddling with her chain. mrs grace gave her husband a pointed look, but that didn’t change his stern expression much. “i know you aren’t. it’s a reminder.”

i think i have enough memories that serve as reminders, thank you very much, she thought sarcastically. not wanting to start an argument, she nodded. “okay. see you later.”

“do you need a ride after school?” mrs grace asked. “your dad could–”

“nope. i’ll walk. bye!” nora said hurriedly, getting out of the car. their house wasn’t that far from their place anyway.

walking up to the school, her eyes scanned her surroundings. she couldn’t really identify anyone yet. a good sign, i guess? she thought, before entering the building. it was definitely much larger than her middle school.

here we go.

looking around, she tried to find the office to get her schedule and locker number and key, but found it to no avail. sighing, she knew she had to ask someone. who should i ask?

looking forward, she saw a hijabi leaning against the row of lockers, on her phone. nora walked to her. “hola.” she greeted, starling the girl a little. “hola.” she replied, putting her phone away. “need something?” she asked a little curtly, but nora understood why. everyone that was passing by them were giving them–her weird looks, and if they were with a friend, they’d immediately break into whispers. people really have nothing better to do other than gossip, huh. and have they never heard of muslim women who wore hijabs before?

“i’m new here.” nora admitted. “and i’m kinda having trouble finding the office. could you help me out?”

the other girl’s eyebrows raise. she then kicks herself off of the lockers. “new, eh?” when nora nodded, she shot another question. “where you from?”

“the states.” nora replied. “wisconsin, specifically. i used to live here, though.”

the girl nodded in understanding. “cool. i’m amira.” she said, extending her hand out. nora took it, and shook. “nora. nice to meet you.”

amira tried to hide a smile creeping onto her face. “well, what are we waiting for? let’s get you to the office.”

the girls talked more as they walked to the office and they found out that they were in the same grade. then after picking up her schedule, they also noticed they shared quite a few classes together too.

as amira continued to talk while they walked to their first period, nora smiled. my first friend, she realised. that wasn’t bad.

lunch rolled in and nora was currently sitting in the school cafeteria with amira and three other girls; viri, cris and eva. she’d met the other girls in her classes through amira and they immediately welcomed her into their friend group. speaking of classes, turned out that at the mention of her name, some people did recognise her and vice versa. and it wasn’t as scary talking to them again.

it really was just the first day jitters.

while they talked, cristian appeared at their table and greeted them–well, eva, and invited them to a party this friday. nora knew for a fact it was the awkward scrawny kid cris she knew. he still had that scar on his eyebrow.

cris didn’t seem to recognise her, though. he smiled at her. “hola,” he greeted her, “i don’t think i’ve ever seen you around. i definitely would’ve remembered a face like yours.” he sounded flirty.

nora smiled at him fondly. definitely not because of his greeting, but how much he changed over the years. he definitely boosted in the confidence area. “nora.” she said, as he kissed her cheeks.

cris’ eyebrows furrowed in thought for a few seconds, before returning back to his normal facial expression. “well, nice to meet you. and i expect to see all of you on friday.” and after puckering his lips in eva’s direction, he walked off.

nora looked at eva with her eyebrow raised. “he seems to fancy you.” she teased. eva rolled her eyes. “he’s a fuckboy,” she deadpanned, “he likes everyone.”

nora laughed. she then brought her water bottle to her lips, drinking out of it.

viri squealed. “we definitely have to go!” she exclaimed. “alejandro’s definitely going to be there.”

nora suddenly choked on her water at the mention of an alejandro. the girls looked back at her in concern. cris patted her back. “you okay, girl?” the blonde asked, and nora nodded. “yeah, drank too quickly.” she rushed out a response awkwardly. “um, who’s alejandro?”

viri’s jaw dropped. “you still don’t know who alejandro is?” she asked, before looking at amira accusingly (who lifted her hands up in surrender). cris grabbed eva’s phone from her hands, and went onto instagram.

“this, is alejandro.” she said, tapping on one of the photos.

and nora knew that it was her best friend alejandro. she’d recognise that narrow pale face and those hazel eyes anywhere. she let cris show her all of his photos, and despite always finding him handsome, he definitely left the baby look in the past.

nora also noticed that he barely smiled in any of the photos. maybe he left that behind too, she thought. cris closed the app, and handed her phone back to eva. “and viri’s soo in love with him.”

viri?

nora looked up at the beaming girl. “you like him?” she asked. the other girl grinned sheepishly. “he’s cute! the cutest. and sooo nice.”

amira snorted. “just because he said sorry after bumping into you doesn’t make him the nicest person.” she sassed. and before viri could have a say, she continued. “also, he’s a fuckboy too. he’s humping and dumping. pretty sure i saw him making out with alicia yesterday.”

cris let out a series of ‘ooo’s. “also saw denise crying in the bathroom yesterday.” she lowered her voice. “alejandro dumped her over text. apparently it was pretty rough.”

nora’s face fell. alejandro? she thought to herself uneasily. no, that couldn’t be my alejandro. the ale i knew couldn’t even hurt a fly.

“he just needs someone to change him.” viri stated confidently. eva smiled sarcastically. “and it’ll be you, won’t it, mrs beltrán de miguel?” she joked, elbowing the girl.

all the colour drained out of nora’s face.

it was alejandro.

“you okay, honey?”

nora stopped picking on the food on her plate and looked up at her mother. “yup.” she said, nodding for better effect. in reality, she really wasn’t. her head couldn’t wrap around the thought of alejandro becoming…. someone like that. what happened? what changed? she was in dire need for answers, but she had a feeling she’d never get them.

mr grace wasn’t at the table with them. he was still at the office. nora wasn’t expecting otherwise. usually, he’d come home at around 9 earliest. most days it was just nora and mrs grace having dinner together.

the older woman pursed her lips together as if she wanted to say something, but she eventually didn’t and dropped the matter. the two sat in silence, continuing with their dinner. all the small talk was done earlier that evening.

not feeling hungry anymore, nora stood up from the table and cleared out her plate before placing it into the dishwasher. she looked at her mother. “i’ll just be in my room doing homework.” she said half-heartedly. mrs grace nodded.

before she managed to make it to the stairs, the doorbell rang. nora’s eyebrows furrowed. who could that be? her dad wouldn’t be ringing the bell, he had a key. and she hadn’t disclosed her address to anyone at school.

maybe it’s a neighbour.

“i’ll get it!” she yelled, and walked to the door. peering through the peephole, her face fell. shock overtook her features. wait, that’s….

ding dong!

“nora?” her mother said her name. “i thought you had it!”

“i-i do.” she responded a little incoherently. she finally opened the door.

she was standing face-to-face with alejandro beltrán de miguel.  

[neganandblake]

I think I liked you better when you didn’t have a knife in your hand, Peaches.... Chapter 55 - A man at the door

When Blake finds herself sold out to the Saviours by her abusive fiancé, she realises that she's certainly not on her own anymore and finds an unlikely friend in Negan. And Negan does NOT like men who beat their girlfriends, one tiny bit…

Chapter 55 - A man at the door

[Blake, still on house arrest, gets an unexpected visitor (or two...)]

Blake gave a huff.

The past few days had seemed to drift by slowly, and at first, Blake had been as upbeat as she possibly could be, about being kept trapped inside her own home, for no good reason. For the idea that she would see Negan any day now, made her heart beat that much faster inside her chest, making al of this worth it.

But after six long days went by, Blake had come to the conclusion that perhaps the dark-haired Saviour was, in fact, not coming back.

Maybe he had found someone else to capture his interest….

Maybe he had been killed…

But Blake not wanting to dwell on either of these things, had finally realised that perhaps he just didn't have the time, or the energy to keep visiting her.

It was at least an hour's drive from the Sanctuary, and gas was like gold-dust in this world.

Perhaps Negan had finally realised that she just wasn't worth it.

And that, really, was no-ones fault but Blake's, after all.

She had been the one who had decided to leave…

To come here…

To leave him…

So why did she expect Negan, of all people, to keep his promise of a date to her.

He didn't owe her anything after all.

They weren't a couple. They weren't….well, anything.

He wasn't hers.

But these fact still didn't serve to make Blake feel any better.

She had been under house arrest for almost a week now. And being trapped under this roof with no one to talk to, was driving her crazy.

Blake was currently sat on her large couch, as the sun set through the window behind her, having read and re-read the same paragraph of her book four times now.

She was frustrated and bored, and longed for…just a walk….or a chat with someone. Someone who wasn't Rick at least…

The brown-haired man had called in to see her about three times in six days. With both of them getting more and more irritated with each other with each visit that passed.

What good was it doing keeping her here?

Stopping her socialising with people? How did that even make sense?

She had, of course, vented these frustrations with him. But he had just scowled at her and warned her that this was for her own good….that he needed to be able to trust her.

But Blake knew for a fact that in a community this small, it was likely that no-one would ever trust her again.

Rumour spread fast here, and she had seen, through shaded blinds, across the street, the residents of Alexandria stopping and pointing up at her house, gossiping….talking about her.

Not much had changed there of course, but it was having no visits from people she had considered her friends that had hurt the most over these long six days of confinement.

Apart from standing guard outside, neither Tara, nor Aaron, nor Eric had come inside to see her…to talk with her…

She knew they had likely been told everything by Rick and Michonne now, but that didn't mean they knew the full story. Blake still had her own side to tell and it made her infuriated that she had not been given the chance to say her piece.

The only person, bar Rick, to actually try and confront her about Negan's visit had been Rosita. Who had stood on the doorstep of Blake's house, with eyes full of seething fury.

But the caramel- blonde woman had not bothered to open the door…not wanting to hear Rosita's bullshit right now.

She knew Rosita had her own vendetta against Negan...for both Spencer and Abraham's' death…..but that was something that Blake was not prepared to get involved in anymore.

She wasn't going to sell Negan out to her, of all people.

For some reason Blake felt slightly threatened by her…having seen a questioning, doubtful sort-of look upon her features that first night of being back here at Alexandria. The brown haired woman obviously not believing that David could ever have been so harmful to Blake. And that doubt hurt Blake a lot.

But to everyone here of course, Blake needed to remembered, David had been charming, with his blonde hair and good-looks, always saying the right thing at the right time. A model citizen.

So why would people ever believe that Blake was indeed telling the truth, the problem being that she herself, had hid his abuse too well from everyone at the time.

The caramel-blonde woman turned the page in her book with another small huffy-sigh. But her green eyes were no longer moving, fixed to one spot on the paper….no longer reading….her mind too busy focusing on other things.

But she couldn't help but jump suddenly, as there came a loud knock upon her front door.

She gave a sudden tired moan, closing the book and tossing it down onto a couch cushion beside her and getting to her feet.

It was guaranteed to be Rick again….probably wanting nothing in particular but to sit there, sigh for a bit and throw stupid questions her way about exactly what she was doing at the Sanctuary all that time.

Blake today, was just wearing a white t-shirt, tucked neatly into a pair of tight-indigo jeans, with a large brown belt slung around her middle…but not having the luxury of going out, she was barefoot, not having bothered with shoes and socks.

She had tried, of course, to leave, it had taken her less than a day to attempt it. But Father Gabriel and Sasha who had been standing guard at the time, had firmly told her to turn around and go back inside, both of their hands moving to knives positioned at the waists.

Blake, at this, had just rolled her eyes.

Had they really seen her as that much of a threat? But she had reluctantly scoffed and gone back inside, slamming the door furiously behind her, not wanting to try and find out what lengths either of them would go to, to keep her inside.

But Blake, now, striding through her hallway once again, tugged open the door with a loud, irritated huff.

"Look, Rick," she said in a tired voice. "I've told you-"

But Blake stopped short as she saw who was stood on the other side, silhouetted in the hazy evening light.

"Tara?" Blake murmured, parting her lips.

Tara was stood there, in a navy t-shirt and jeans, hands dug sheepishly into her front pockets, chewing on her lip…her eyes full of something sad and imploring.

She was silent for a long moment, staring up at Blake, before finally opening her mouth….

"I thought we were friends," said the dark-haired woman in a sudden dejected voice.

Blake immediately gulped.

"W-We are," she said reassuringly, cocking her head to the side.

It was strange to see Tara like this…..after six days of only seeing her through a window.

But the dark-haired girl just shook her head.

"You lied to me, Blake," she said, a sadness in her voice now. "You told me you had nothing to with him… with Negan….and then he comes to visit you here?!"

Blake chewed on her own lip now…a strong sense of guilt passing over her….making her stomach churn violently.

"It wasn't important…" she tried to argue.

But Tara cut across her.

"Bullshit," she cried suddenly, her voice becoming higher in pitch and louder now. "Of course it's important. They killed Denise, and Glenn, and Abraham and Spencer….and you're just standing there acting like it's the most normal thing in the world to be shacked up with that asshole Negan. He bludgeoned people to death, Blake!"

Tara was breathing hard now, her chest rising and falling rapidly from her outburst. But Blake wasn't far off mirroring her stance, standing there with wide eyes, rubbing at her own arms, feeling defensive….her heart hurting now.

"I know…" she said in a quiet tone, her voice wavering as she spoke.

"No, you don't," said Tara shaking her head and staring at Blake sadly. "Because if you knew what was truly capable of, you'd have never invited him in , Blake. You'd never be involved with him at all. Because he's a monster."

But Blake gave a tiny frown, gulping again now, and shaking her head.

So many conflicting feeling rising within her, as Tara made to turn on her heel having said her piece, making to turn away.

But Blake spoke suddenly.

"But he's not," she said with a whisper, as she gazed back at her dark-haired friend. "He's not…"

Tara looked wide-eyed back at Blake over her shoulder, but it was a long, drawn-out moment, before she finally spoke again.

"I trusted you," she said despondently, Blake watching, as angry tears spilled from her friend's eyes.

But that was all Tara could manage to mutter, and she rubbed at her face, turned back around, and disappeared off down Blake's porch steps, without another word.

Blake gazed skywards suddenly, trying as hard as she could to stop the tears from spilling from her own eyes.

Shit.

What had she done?

She had pushed away one of her only friends in this world, for a man who she wasn't even sure was ever coming back anyway….

She let out a shaky breath now, making to turn around and head back inside. But before she could do so-

"Blake!" came a sudden voice from behind her drawing her attention back around.

She steadied herself slightly, to see the tall and handsome figure of Steve, coming bounding up the porch steps towards her, two at a time, looking like an excitable puppy.

He was tonight, wearing a light blue t-shirt, black pants, and was carrying a bottle of something in his tanned, muscle-bound arms.

Blake let out a small breath of air, still feeling like she wanted to cry right now, as she blinked at him.

"Oh..uhhh…hi, Steve…." she began, rubbing at her arms once more. "..I'm sorry, but now's not really a good-"

But Steve gave her a lop-sided sort-of smile, holding the large dusty bottle of wine out towards her.

"I just thought you might want some company, seeing as you're not allowed out," he asked tilting his head and offering her an encouraging look. "Thought you might do with some cheering up. And hey, what situation isn't improved by copious amounts of alcohol, huh?"

At this, Blake looked down her feet letting out a small laugh, as Steve's words lightened the mood slightly.

Well maybe a drink would help take her mind off of everything….and ease the pain of her conversation with Tara.

Because Balke now found herself hurting more than ever. Feeling oh-so alone.

Like she had no-one.

And so, Blake gave a small nod, before she could stop herself, taking the bottle gently within her grasp, and biting on her lip.

"Sounds good," she said taking in a deep breath, and gesturing for Steve to follow her inside.

It hadn't taken long before the pair of them had found themselves sat on two high barstools beside the island counter in her open-plan kitchen, already on their second glass of the vinegary-tasting, red wine.

Their conversation had drifted from one subject to another for the past thirty minutes, Blake relaxing a little and opening up in his presence.

They had so far lightly touched upon the subject of David…or Steve's own deceased girlfriend, pets that they used to own, and cities they had visited in their youth, as well as brief catch up on what had happened at Maud's drinks party last week, slightly ruined by the Saviours showing up just before it kicked off.

"So what did you do before?" Steve asked now, in a gentle voice, taking another small sip of his wine. "Y'know, in the real-world?"

Blake could have skipped all the chit-chat if she was honest and just stuck to the alchohol, but she knew she needed to be polite.

"I worked in an office," she said waving a hand dismissively. "It's wasn't anything special. You?"

But Steve smiled, scratching back of his neck with his hand. "I was training to be a PT- Personal trainer."

Blake gave a nod. Of course he was.

Steve was lovely, of course. But she had been there done that, with someone like him….with David….a handsome , carefree guy…..who had in fact proved to be the exact opposite of that.

Blake nodded….trying to think of something to say, but before she could do so, Steve had suddenly licked at his lips, staring over at her.

"I've missed not seeing you around lately," he commented, a little shyly. "I know Rick's trying to keep under wraps exactly why he's keeping you shut in here, but I just want you to know, that if you want me to try and talk to him, I can."

Blake gave a small smile.

"You're sweet," she began gently, shaking her head. "But-"

But before Blake could utter another word, Steve had, all of a sudden, scraped back his chair and got to his feet, moving around the island towards her.

"Listen," he said in an earnest tone, suddenly changing the mood in the room completely, and coming to stop at the still-sitting Blake's side, staring down at her. "I know I haven't been here that long...and we haven't known each other for even a month yet….but…hey, life's kinda short and, well…..."

Steve paused momentarily, licking his lips slowly once again, before sighing and giving a brief shake of his head.

"…oh….screw it-"

And with that, Blake felt her eyes widening into huge orbs, as Steve brushed back a strand of her caramel blonde hair from her face, leaning in suddenly towards her, his lips moving slowly to meet with hers.

Oh, fuck...

But before Blake could make a move to stop him, or even pull away…her heart hammering a drumbeat of fright inside her ribcage….

...a sudden loud and angry voice filled the room-

"Oh, you better be fuckin' jokin'!"

Steve suddenly pulled back from her, swinging suddenly around on this the spot, as Blake peered around his tall and broad form...

...only to see a person she recognised very, very well, stood in the doorway to the kitchen.

Negan.

He was stood, in his usual black leather jacket, white t-shirt, and black biker boots, with Lucille now grasped tightly within his gloved hand.

But it was his face, that made Blake's breath hitch slightly as she looked at him.

She could tell immediately that he was seething, his jaw tightly clenched and twitching with pure fury. His eyes were black and his chin lowered, looking more intimidating than Blake had ever seen him.

But Steve gave a frown at the dark-haired Saviour, eyeing him, looking a little confused. "Errr, can I help you?" he asked in a slow voice.

Blake knew that Steve, unlikely to have ever clapped eyes on Negan before, of course would not recognise him….but she prayed for his sake he would figure it out quicker that Negan would give him cause to.

But Negan ignored him, instead, his chocolate eyes were fixed on Blake.

"This fucking guy?!" asked the bearded Saviour with incredulous raised eyebrows, cocking his head to the side and arching his back with every syllable he spoke.

He pointed at Steve with the end of his barbed-wire covered baseball-bat, which unfortunately only served to make Steve's frown deepen slightly.

"Look I don't know who you are, but-" the younger man began in a sincere tone, but Negan suddenly turned to face him, narrowing his dark eyes.

"Well, holy fuckin' shit," said Negan in a loud, obnoxious tone. "Either we've not been introduced, or else I failed to make a strong fuckin' impression on you're the first time. Either fuckin' way I think I'd better refresh your goddamn memory."

Negan took a step forwards, gripping Lucille threateningly, and coming nose-to-nose with Steve.

Both men were tall, but perhaps Negan had an inch on the younger man….or maybe it just seemed that way…the way Negan loomed over him frighteningly.

"Uh..can we not…." said Blake with a tired sigh, pushing herself suddenly from the chair.

But both men ignored her, their eyes fixed on one another.

"I'm Negan," said the dark-haired man in a sudden low growling voice, as Blake saw Steve almost instantly give a gulp.

There it was…

That dawning realisation….that look of utter horror appearing in his eyes as he realised just who he was dealing with.

"..and this, is Lucille," continued Negan, raising the end of the baseball-bat so that it was level with Steve's face. "And…well….she is lookin' kinda thirsty tonight, don' you think?"

But Blake pursed her lips together a little angrily now, marching straight up to Negan.

"Nope…nuh-uh…" she said in a scolding tone, suddenly rounding on Negan and coming to stand in between him and Steve. "Not in my fucking kitchen, Negan."

And almost at once, the dark-haired Saviour turned to her, a hint of a grin twitching its way onto his lips.

He gave a small sigh.

"You really doin' this to save your fuckin' tiles, Darlin'?" he began, leaning his face into hers. "Or are you actually doing it to save pretty-boy's fuckin' face?"

Blake shot him a sudden unimpressed look, gazing up into Negan's dark chocolate eyes, as he leered over her, his free hand suddenly snaking around her waist possessively.

She tutted, as Negan spoke again.

"I mean, hell, I know I'm a bit late for our date, Peaches," he said flashing her his pearly white line of teeth, as her tugged her body firmly into his. "But did you really move on that fuckin' fast? With this fuckin' guy too?! I mean, jeez, he looks like the goddamn missin' link."

Steve at their side, merely looked on meekly, trembling in his shoes, as Blake lifted her hand to Negan's chest and gave him a gentle shove away from her playfully.

"Stop it," she reprimanded, flashing him reproachful look, before turning swiftly to Steve.

The man, around Blake's own age, now looked about six-years old, standing there, wide-eyes and apprehensive.

"You should probably go, Steve," she uttered, offering him a sort-of apologetic look.

And almost at once Steve nodded reverently, and eased past the pair.

But Negan, as cocky as he was, stuck out Lucille suddenly stopping Steve in his tracks before he could go anywhere.

"Oh Steve-y–boy," he said in a low growl of a voice, staring back at the young guy, with an arrogant grin, now plastered across his bearded features. And with that, Negan leaned up close to Steve's face intimidatingly. "If I ever fuckin' catch you tryin' to kiss her, or in fact, even fucking looking her way again, I'll be painting these fuckin' floor tiles a nice red colour with the shit that comes out of your skull. We clear?"

And Steve certainly looked clear, as he gave a dry sounding audible gulp, before walking swiftly away as fast as his legs could carry him. And it wasn't a moment later than Blake heard the door slam loudly behind him.

Almost at once she turned to Negan, and offered him a reproving look, tilting her head to the side, letting her long, caramel hair drift easily over her shoulders.

"You are such an asshole sometimes," she said shaking her head and pouting.

But Negan merely smiled, strutting over to her and leaning in towards her closely, his lips almost brushing hers, before he brought his mouth slowly up to her ear.

"Don't pout, Darlin'," he said in a low and husky voice, pressing a grin into her hair. "It makes Daddy wanna do very, very bad fuckin' things to you."

And with that, Blake couldn't help but let a moan of want slip quietly from her lips….as her fingers suddenly curled around the fabric of his leather sleeve….

...before Negan pulled back, letting his mouth finally find hers...

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[pedroscurls]

Title: The Moon (Part 12.)

Character(s): Negan, Simon, and Dwight Summary: Negan is on the road with Simon and Dwight. Word Count: 1,904 Author's Note: No Luna in this chapter! This is completely told in Negan’s POV which is completely different for me, but I will attempt it! Things will pick up, very slowly, so please stay tuned and keep reading! You know, only if you like hehe. Enjoy!  Taglist: @miiraal | @clinicalkayla​ | @ronweaselz​ | @heartfulloffandoms | @warriorqueen1991 | @dead-head-joker | @eliselulu23 | @may85 | @negantrashlucille23 | @myheart4ever47 | @almostinwonderland

(GIF Source: @mypapawinchester)

Fucking fuck. I couldn’t get through to Luna. She wasn’t answering. I was slowly losing patience. It also wasn’t fucking helping that I was in a damn car with Simon and Dwight. It seemed almost comical that we were bunched into one car; it was as if we were all going on a damn road trip.

“What if –”

If Dwight wasn’t driving, I would have tossed him out of this car before he even decided to finish that sentence. He acts like that thought hadn’t crossed my mind, but it was the only option that I forced myself to not succumb to.

I didn’t want to believe or think that Luna was gone, dead. I didn’t want to let down another woman in my life.

“Shut up,” Simon said.

Phew. Thank you, Simon. If I hadn’t known better, I would have assumed that Simon had a little crush, but having my right-hand man care for a woman that I desperately wanted to make up with was a bit comforting.

“Hey, I’m just thinking logically here. We’re nearing noon and we’ve been driving since last night, Negan. What are the chances of us finding Luna?”

He really wanted his fucking ass kicked.

“And you’re going to tell me that if Sherry was out here, you wouldn’t go fucking looking for her? Would you let some other man tell you that we should give up, go back the fuck home and just let her go?”

Dwight didn’t say a word. He knew I was right. I always was, but his silence and the look of irritation flashed over his features which made it all the more exciting to rub it in his face.

I loved being right.

“Oh, Dwighty boy, you didn’t answer me. Cat got your tongue all of a fucking sudden?”

“I get it,” he replied.

“No, you see, I don’t think you fucking do. Luna is part of the Saviors. We always make sure that our people are safe, right? That’s what I am trying to build here, D.”

“Then why do you act like you’re in love with her or something?”

That hit a nerve.

“Pull over. Pull the fuck over.”

Dwight glanced at me with slight regret in his eyes. Too fucking late. I was going to teach him damn lesson.

Once the car stopped and Dwight put it in park, I stepped out and walked around the car to the driver’s side. Flinging the door open, I pulled him out from the car and held him roughly by the lapels of the vest he fucking stole from Daryl.

“Do you really want to fucking test me while we’re out looking for Luna, Dwight? And if I were you, I would be really fucking careful with my answer.”

“I – I,” he stuttered.

“You what? Huh, D? That’s your problem. Sometimes, you never know when to shut the fuck up. As of late, though, you were doing a wonderful job but I guess that streak has ended.”

“I’m sorry, Negan…”

His voice was shaky now. I grinned. I didn’t even have to lay a violent hand on him and he was already apologizing.

“Apology fucking accepted!” I released him from my grasp, watching as he straightened himself out.

“Simon, see if you can try and get a hold of Luna.”

Simon reached for the walkie-talkie and began talking into it. I was hoping that there would be an answer now that Simon was the one attempting to talk to her, but after a few minutes, all we heard was static.

“We better continue, Negan…” Dwight suggested.

“Good idea. Let’s go.”

We all packed into the car once more, driving down the empty roads. We had no idea where we were going. Being the leader, I was hoping that I would have some sort of control on this spontaneous trip, but I didn’t. I hated not knowing shit and Luna was showcasing my biggest weakness.

I was growing impatient. I knew where we going and how far we were getting from the Sanctuary, but I needed to know she was okay. I needed a fucking sign to tell me that she was still alive.

I had failed Lucille and I fucking failed Luna.

“Do we have any fucking idea where she may have gone?”

“Well, we found her at an abandoned store. I highly doubt that she’d go back there,” Simon replied.

“Well, I guess we’re just fucking following an empty road then.”

“So, Denise tells me that you two have taken a liking to Luna…” Dwight mumbled.

Simon arched a brow, “What are you trying to get at?”

“Nothing. I’m not into the gossip, so I didn’t believe her, but – Have you?”

“We’re out here fucking looking for her. What the fuck do you think?”

“Well, I guess what I’m trying to say is, why? Of all the women we pick up and save, why her?” Dwight asked.

Simon and I glanced at each other. We both didn’t have a legitimate answer to that. She just came into our lives and captured our attention in such a way that no one ever had since the world ended.

“For me, she reminds me of what was once pure in this world. It’s like a glimpse of the old world, I guess,” Simon responded.

I nodded in agreement. I knew if I started talking about her, I was going to admit shit that these two men didn’t need to hear. In their eyes, I was still this fearless leader, but deep down, I was scared shitless.

I had an image to uphold. I had a reputation to be this merciless leader and protector. I had this persona that just came out once the dead started walking the Earth.

But Luna…

She fucking shut that shit down and made me feel vulnerable. Like I could be myself again. And I needed to tell her that.

“What about you, Negan?” Dwight asked.

“Well, she’s fucking hot. What can I say? I wouldn’t let a woman like her run away in this dangerous world. Are you fucking kidding me? Have you seen those eyes and pouty lips?”

Simon arched a brow. He must have known exactly what I was doing.

Dwight chuckled. Well, at least that earned a laugh from one of the two men I was traveling with.

“She is cute,” he responded.

“Dwighty boy, I don’t think Sherry would like you complimenting other women, would she?”

Dwight cleared his throat. Maybe I went a little too fucking far.

“I don’t give a shit what Sherry thinks anymore.”

Well, fuck. The look on his face and the tone of his voice – He seemed like he didn’t care, but I knew that was simply to cover his ass. If he had shown any interest in his former wife, he knew the consequences. Hell, the damn burn was proof.

“Ice cold, Dwight. Ice fucking cold,” I grinned.

Changing the subject, Dwight suggested, “Maybe we should check Alexandria. Maybe she went back there.”

“And why the fuck would she fucking do that if she killed one of their people?”

Simon glanced between Dwight and I. The tensions were high and I knew that we were all getting irritated, showing no results or progress in finding Luna. I was expecting to find her within the few hours she left the Sanctuary; I was certainly not expecting to be out here for half of a day.

“Dwight makes a good point, Negan. Luna would probably want to apologize, even if that means she dies in the process of it,” Simon reasoned.

He was right. Fuck. He was fucking right.

“If she’s there, no one better have fucking touch her. Dwight, head to Alexandria.”

The ride to Alexandria was short. It had to be a quick visit. With only us three barging into a town filled with people who wanted their revenge, it wouldn’t end well if they decided to attack us.

Dwight stopped the truck just outside the gates and I climbed out, following Simon. I looked at Rosita and grinned. She still looked pissed as ever.

“Haven’t you caused us enough trouble?” She snarled, opening the gates.

“Usually I’m all for fun and games, doll, but we’ve got some fucking business to tend to and I’ve got to talk to your fucking fearless leader. Now, where is Rick?”

Without allowing her to answer, Rick instantly approached us with narrowed eyes. He never did like my surprise visits.

“What are you doing here?” He asked.

Usually, I would be grinning from ear to ear, but not today. Not now.

“Where is she?”

“She? Who are you talking about? Rick replied.

“The fucking woman who killed the man who tried to kill you and I the other day.”

Rick narrowed his eyes. There goes that fucking stink eye again.

“I haven’t seen her. Why would she be here?”

If I wasn’t pissed off before, I was fucking livid now. We were wasting time. I shouldn’t have fucking listened to Dwight. We just wasted about two hours only to find out that she hadn’t come here to Alexandria.

I should have known better.

Simon and I should have known better.

“Dwight!” I yelled, looking over my shoulder.

We had to leave now. From the look on Rick’s face, I knew he was thinking the same thing.

“You know what, Rick. Never mind. We’ll leave you to be on your merry fucking way. We’ll be back in a couple of weeks for a supply pick up.”

I slowly walked back to the truck. I couldn’t make it seem like I was a bit afraid of what may happen, but as soon as I climbed into the truck with Simon and Dwight, I knew we would be okay.

“Fucking drive, Dwight.”

Once we were back out on the road, I grabbed the walkie-talkie and spoke into it.

“Luna, stop this shit, please. Fucking come home already.”

I waited. I waited. And I fucking waited.

All I was left with was fucking static. I would have tossed this damn walkie-talkie out of the damn window if it didn’t mean that this was my only source of communication with her.

“We could have all fucking died back there,” I told Dwight.

“But we didn’t,” he quipped.

I narrowed my eyes and instantly smacked the backside of his head. He grunted, rubbing it continuously as he kept his focus on the road.

“Yeah, we didn’t, but we wasted fucking gas and time. Those are resources, Dwight. Luna’s probably steps ahead of us.”

“She couldn’t get very far by foot, boss,” Simon said. He was trying to calm my nerves. It wasn’t working.

“She left almost fifteen hours ago, Simon! Did you forget what she fucking do before this world went to shit? She worked for the damn police department. Pretty sure she was fucking involved with the FBI too. If anyone can survive and get far in this new world, it would be her.”

Dwight whipped his head. He probably wasn’t expecting that and I probably would get shit when Luna finds out I fucking let that piece of information slip.

“She worked for the government?” Dwight asked.

“Why else do you think she’s got a good shot?” Simon replied.

“Fuck, enough talking. She left yesterday. We have to find her or I fucking swear, shit will fucking go down when we get back to the Sanctuary.”

[nolimitsongrace]

September 1: The Solution to Offense

The Solution to OffenseSeptember 1, 2020

…If thy brother trespass against thee, rebuke him; and if he repent, forgive him. — Luke 17:3

I was once offended by a missionary who lied to me and led me into a web of deceit that hurt me deeply. What really hurt was that I had trusted this man and had such a high regard for him. But when I discovered what he had done — and that he had done it deliberately — it was like a knife had been plunged into the depth of my soul. Every time I saw that brother and how casually and unrepentant he behaved about what he had done, the devil twisted that knife in my back another turn and caused that deeply intense pain to be inflicted all over again.

I really didn’t know what to do to resolve the situation. I felt the missionary should be held accountable for what he had done to Denise and me and to our ministry — but there was no way to hold him accountable that we could find. So he just drifted away freely, facing no consequences for the deep wound he had caused in my heart.

*[If you started reading this from your email, begin reading here.]

One day as I lay in my bed, pondering this situation, the Holy Spirit spoke to my heart and said, “Rick, your only option is to let it go. If you hold on to this pain and hurt, it will imprison you to your emotions and hinder you from making the forward progress I want you to make in life.”

Was the Holy Spirit really telling me to just let it go and act like what this minister had done never happened — while I continued to rub shoulders with him from time to time at meetings that we were both required to attend? This seemed like a most difficult thing that the Lord was asking me to do!

Meanwhile, the offender felt no guilt for what he’d done. He suffered no pain for the suffering he had inflicted on us. He was free in his mind from the entire matter! He didn’t wrestle with a single thought about his betrayal of a fellow minister and brother in the Lord. Instead, I was the one who was bound, consumed with negative thoughts and feelings of hurt, pain, and offense. It was like this man had no conscience — and that ate away at me too.

Have you ever held on to an inward offense instead of dealing with it quickly? If so, you know that it has a way of eating away at your soul — spoiling your outlook on life, adversely affecting your view of others, and, of course, negatively impacting your spiritual life. Furthermore, when you allow offense to fester in your soul, you become less and less guarded with your own words about your offender. It’s not long until you start talking about the other person who offended you rather than praying for him or her, because as the Bible teaches, out of the abundance of the heart, the mouth speaks.

Have you ever been guilty of telling others about a negative thing that another person said or did to you? If you did, were you aware that you were defiling your listeners? You were staining their thoughts with a negative opinion that could change how they see and respond to the person who offended you. Every time those who heard your words encounter your offender in the future, they will likely remember that report you gave them.

This is precisely how gossip-fueled scandals are created, many of which cause irrevocable damage. No one wins when bitterness is allowed to take root and then spring up to defile many.

Instead of being free in my own situation, I found that my mouth had become a vehicle to say ugly things about this man every chance I got. Maybe my words were not so direct and caustic, but they left an impression for any listener to understand that I had serious doubts about the integrity of this leader. Without directly accusing him, I was purposefully casting a shadow on his integrity.

Finally, a day came when I sat down with this man — one of the most difficult things I had ever done — and expressed my feelings to him. To make sure there was a witness, I brought along another ministry leader to listen to both of us and judge the situation. After hours of conversation, rehashing the story over and over again, it was obvious that my offender was not repentant or even slightly sorry for what he had done. This led me to a choice: I could stay hurt and in bondage to my pain forever, or I could choose to let it go and walk away free. “Letting it go” is exactly what the Holy Spirit had already told me to do!

That night, I was reminded of Jesus’ words in both Luke 17:3 and in Mark 11:25. In Luke 17:3, He provided a solution: “…If thy brother trespass against thee, rebuke him, and if he repent, forgive him.” Then in Mark 11:25, Jesus gave the full solution: “And when ye stand praying, forgive, if ye have ought against any…”

I had rebuked this missionary in the presence of another leader, yet it made no difference. But even though he had not repented, my options were still the same! I could remain in emotional bondage to the pain he had inflicted — or I could forgive him and walk away from that table free, even if he never, ever recognized the extent of the damage he had done to us.

Jesus expects us to take the mature role and to forgive others, regardless of how they behave. The word “forgive” is the Greek word aphiemi, which means in modern terms to let it go. Rather than be held hostage by what someone has done to you, or by what you may think that person has done to you, Jesus says, “Aphiemi — let it go.”

But often the only way you can truly dismiss, release, and let go of an offense is to get into the presence of the Lord and let Him help you. Just go to Him and say, “Father, I’m not willing to be bound by this offense. I refuse to be imprisoned by these feelings of hurt, rejection, or humiliation. Right now before You, I choose to let it go in the name of Jesus.”

You are the only one who has the authority to rip the root of bitterness and offense out of your own heart. If you’re ever going to be free, move forward, and live fully in the power of God, you’re going to have to release the offenses that you’ve allowed to build a stronghold in your heart.

Also, please be aware that bitterness doesn’t just hinder your walk with God. It will also impede your fellowship with others. The fact is, if you’re bound by offense against one person, that bondage will affect your other relationships as well, because the poisonous attitudes you carry in your heart against one person will affect how you respond to everyone else.

You may have suffered a hurt or offense in the past that harmed you terribly. In fact, it may have robbed you of something that can never be returned or restored. But if you refuse to forgive — to let go of anger, animosity, and bitterness — that offense will continue to work its destruction in your life. A past-tense problem will become a present-tense issue when you refuse to let go of your bitterness. If you don’t get over that past offense, you will give it the power to damage and even destroy your future as you drag it along like a bag of garbage or toxic waste. At some point, you have to just let it go and get over it for your own benefit and for the benefit of those around you.

I don’t know what may have happened to you in the past or what offense you may be holding against someone else right now. But I want you to know that you can walk free of those negative, unhealthy attitudes and emotions if you’ll make the decision to exercise your authority over your own heart and mind. Someone may commit an offense against you by speaking or acting inappropriately toward you without your provocation. But you cannot be offended unless you take the offense to yourself. You always have a choice.

It is a difficult lesson to learn, but learn it you must. There is no other way to move forward in God. When an offense is hurled at you, you are to deal with it scripturally the best way you can. But if you cannot bring it to a peaceful resolution, you are called to let it go. As you do, you will walk away free — free to be all God intended for you to be as you pursue the destiny He ordained for you.

So make the choice today regarding every past offense, hurt, or disappointment: “This day I let it go, and I walk away free!”

MY PRAYER FOR TODAY

Father God, I repent for the offense I have harbored in my heart toward people. I see now that offense has held me in a prison of my own making. I have been tormented by it, and it has kept me from making spiritual progress as I should. Rather than allow offense room to continue festering in my heart and soul, today I make the choice to let it go. I forgive my offenders, and I extend the same grace to them that I want others to give me. Right now I receive freedom as I choose to walk away from the offenses that have held me in bondage for so long!

I pray this in Jesus’ name!

MY CONFESSION FOR TODAY

I declare by faith that I am an offense-free person! Others’ actions, or lack of actions, do not have the power to put me into a state of bitterness and offense. To be offended requires my agreement, and I will no longer agree to stay in a state of unforgiveness and offense. I release those who have violated me in the past, and I will never bring it up again to them, to others, or to myself. I completely and freely forgive them. As a result, I am a free person with no oppressive, parasitic appendages hanging on me any longer!

I declare this by faith in Jesus’ name!

QUESTIONS FOR YOU TO CONSIDER

Have you ever held on to an offense that sabotaged your present or future? How long did you allow that offense to adversely affect you before you finally decided to let it go and be free of it?

Do you know any individuals right now who are held in a spiritual prison because they won’t forgive people that they perceive have done something wrong to them? After reading today’s Sparkling Gem, how should you minister to them to help set them on a path of freedom?

Is it possible that those who have offended you didn’t even know they offended you? Has the devil perhaps conjured up a bogus issue in your mind to steal your peace and rob your joy? And even if the offense is real, don’t you think it’s time to obey Jesus and let it go?

[newyorktheater]

“Daddy,” a play by Jeremy O. Harris, who made his Off-Broadway debut a few months ago with his controversial “Slave Play,” could be accurately described as a porn melodrama about a love/hate triangle. The triangle consists of Alan Cumming as Andre, an older white art collector; his young black lover Franklin, an artist (Ronald Peet); and Franklin’s religious mother, Zora (Charlayne Woodard), who disapproves of his son’s relationship.

But that description doesn’t completely capture this ambitious, intelligent, and in-your-face provocative play, rendered astonishing under the direction of Danya Taymor and the terrific performances of its cast. Among the delights of this joint production of The New Group and Vineyard Theater: a working swimming pool, used often, liberally spritzing the theatergoers in the first row; a gospel choir that the script describes as “Franklin’s forgotten heart and soul” ; larger than human-size dolls; a couple of erotic spanking sessions; frank and frequent nudity; a dissection of the modern art world; a vivisection of a gay relationship; a confession of black self-hatred; and a last inning surreal reveal that gives a deeper meaning to the title. We first meet Franklin and Andre on the night after they themselves have first met, at a nightclub, around the pool in Andre’s sleek modern house in Bel Air, a ritzy neighborhood in L.A. Matt Saunders’ set, appointed with recognizable works of modern art, looks like it’s lifted from a David Hockney painting (complete with the beautiful young man swimming in the pool.) Franklin gossips about famous artists. Andre rubs his face up and down Franklin’s legs. They are both high. They both get naked. The three-member gospel choir is in the background from that very first scene. Franklin soon moves in with Andre. We next meet Franklin’s best friends, Max and Bellamy, and his art dealer Alessia. It’s not until the second of three acts that his mother Zora pays a visit. Although “Daddy” is subtitled in the program “A Melodrama,” there is less of an over-the-top plot here than that genre designation generally implies. “Daddy” focuses more on an exploration of the characters. Harris even offers some of them up with an edge of satire. But the intelligence and relative subtlety of the direction and performances smoothes that edge into credible characters. As his friends, Tommy Dorfman as Max and Kahyun Kim as Bellamy are hilariously but believably self-centered and L.A.-millennial inarticulate. Bellamy considers them so close that the three of them have “Not friendship. Familyship.” But even as they luxuriate in Franklin’s new surroundings, they criticize him for rushing into this May-September relationship. Hari Nef is spot-on as Alessia, Franklin’s art agent, as she tries to cover up her surprise that, as she sees it, Franklin has become a kept man: “It’s the Medicis, the Guggenheims, the Rubells, the Getty’s, that are responsible for all the art we love. So don’t be ashamed.”

Charlayne Woodard does wonders with Zora, who prays frequently, talks about the devil, quotes Scripture as a weapon, calls Andre Methuselah, and belittles Franklin in ways that make him regress to child-like behavior. But at the same time, she comes off as chic and no-nonsense, rather than fanatical and absurd. The first encounter between Andre and Zora is precious, showing the distance between A and Z. “And what do your people do?” Zora asks. “ Which people?” “Oh excuse me, I mean your parents, family. He answers “they do all sorts of things. None of it of much interest. Or with much interest.” Then he asks her the same. “We come from a factory town. Furniture folk. Lot of work with our hands. Before that we were tobacco folk. Again, work with our hands.” Franklin, she observes, has found a way to work with his hands, creating dolls such as those he played with as a child.

But of course it’s the performances of celebrated veteran Alan Cumming and relative newcomer Ronald Peet that form the center of “Daddy,” and they are bravely naked in more ways than one. The interaction between Andre and Franklin is sometimes strange, often bluntly erotic, but stimulating in other ways as well. In one fascinating, even-handed conversation that reveals an insight about art, and the perhaps unbridgeable gap between white and black in America, Franklin discusses the work of an unnamed black woman artist, and how Andre only sees the beauty in her work, not the pain that comes along with it.

I didn’t fully board the bandwagon for “Slave Play,” which, for all its intelligence and provocation, I found too derivative, diffuse, intellectualized, and too long. This second play is far longer, but it is also more focused, less airily cerebral (though just as intelligent), more original. Is it flawless? (Is anything?) Could Franklin’s behavior in Act III be made less weirdly melodramatic? (Well, we were warned.) Could the arc of Andre and Franklin’s relationship be spelled out more clearly? I could quibble. But my heart belongs to “Daddy.”

Daddy The New Group and Vineyard Theatre at Signature Center. Written by Jeremy O. Harris. Directed by Danya Taymor, Scenic Design by Matt Saunders. Costume Design by Montana Levi Blanco. Lighting Design by Isabella Byrd. Sound Design by Lee Kinney. Hair, Wig and Makeup Design by Cookie Jordan. Vocal Arrangements by Darius Smith. Original Music and Arrangements by Darius Smith and Lee Kinney. Intimacy and Fight Direction by Claire Warden. Movement Coordination by Darrell Moultrie. Doll Design by Tschabalala Self.

Cast: Carrie Compere (Gospel Choir), Alan Cumming (Andre), Tommy Dorfman (Max), Kahyun Kim (Bellamy), Denise Manning (Gospel Choir), Hari Nef (Alessia), Onyie Nwachukwu (Gospel Choir), Ronald Peet (Franklin) and Charlayne Woodard (Zora). Running time: Two hours and 45 minutes, including two intermissions. Theater tickets: $40 – $135 Daddy is scheduled through March 31, 2019. It is entirely sold out. I’d be surprised if it’s not extended.

Daddy Review: An Interracial Love/Hate Triangle Starring Alan Cumming, Charlayne Woodard “Daddy,” a play by Jeremy O. Harris, who made his Off-Broadway debut a few months ago with his controversial “

[touristguidebuzz]

A Glimpse of The Plaza Hotel in Balanga, Bataan

Out of Town Blog A Glimpse of The Plaza Hotel in Balanga, Bataan

Hotel Review: The Plaza Hotel in Balanga, Bataan

There’s more to Bataan aside from its rich history, culture, and tourist spots.

One of the most notable landmark you should visit, or hotel where you should stay at rather, is at The Plaza Hotel in Balanga (hotel info).

It was March 27th this year when I decided to celebrate my birthday in Bataan. Travel time from Manila would be 3 hours depending on the traffic. First, we dropped by at the Bataan Tourism Center to get a map and asked for itinerary on what to do in the city.

The Hotel

If you’re a fan of the American TV Series, Gossip Girl, you’d think that its façade somehow resembles The New York Plaza.

It is located at the Plaza Mayor de Ciudad de Balanga, and is adjacent to the City Hall and the 18th century cathedral.

The Plaza View Deluxe (Photo from hotel’s official website)

But don’t let the classic architecture fool you – wait until you use their elevator and its touch sensor feature to navigate between floors.

You’ll also be greeted by the warm smiles of the hotel staff and you can experience an uncompromising throughout your whole stay.

The Plaza Hotel is equipped with 34 rooms, each with comfy beds and plush linens, flat screen TVs and complimentary WiFi. You can choose rooms ranging from Executive, Deluxe, Premiere Deluxe, Plaza View Deluxe, Suite Room, and Presidential Suite. Each rooms has an in-room safe, in-room coffee facility, mini-fridge and hairdryer.

Best view of the plaza can be seen during night time — wherein you can get a spectacular view of the lights and dancing fountains. From the rooftop of the hotel, you can get an awesome panoramic view of the beautiful city. A grand water show in front of the hotel is being held during the evening.

Café Kyoto and The Plaza Brew

The Plaza’s in-house restaurant – the Café Kyoto – is located at the third floor of the hotel. Plethora of Japanese viands await those who would try dining here.

Café Kyoto has a welcoming atmosphere, with its earthy-toned interior, velvelty chairs, wooden tables, and a great view of the city.

Chef Honda of The Plaza Hotel in Balanga, Bataan

Thick Bone Pork Noodle Php 380

Small Sashimi Platter Php 650

This restaurant has opened the same time the hotel in 2004, and been serving fresh Japanese cuisine since then. During our stay, we tried the Thick Bone Pork Soup Noodle Php 380 which has this rich soup and deep flavor that leaves me wanting more. Included also in our lunch set is the Spicy Tuna Php 350 which balances the flavor of the soup we ordered, and the Sushi Assortment Php 650 good for 2-3 people.

All these food are prepared by their executive chef – Chef Honda.

Also, you can have your caffeine fix at the coffee shop located at the ground floor of the hotel. It houses an extensive collection of vintage stuff, and fancy decors for a relaxing ambiance. You can choose from their handcrafted brew, wide selection of desserts, and all-day breakfast menu.

Events Place

Whether you’re looking for a place to set you business meeting/conference or organize a wedding reception, The Plaza Hotel can provide you with a spacious function rooms as your venue. It can sit up to 200 people.

Visiting Mt. Samat Shrine

Visiting the Mt. Samat Shrine is one of the most fulfilling events in my life. It is a historical landmark built to honor the bravery of the Americans and the Filipinos who fought during the second World War.

Mt. Samat Shrine photo via Bataan.gov.ph

Take note that there is an entrance fee of Php 20 for students, Php 30 for local tourist and Php 50 for foreign tourist.

Before you get up close at the 92-meter memorial cross, you need to walk for about 10-15 minutes at the 448-step zigzagging footpath through the bloodstone, which is said to be the rocks from Corregidor, stained by Japanese blood.

Once you reach the top, a breathtaking view of the Colonnade from up above. It’s a marble-capped structure with an altar, esplanade, and museum containing the remains of the war. There are also displays of the soldiers’ uniform and some weapons.

Want to get the best view of sunset? Then visit Mt. Samat.

The Plaza Hotel in Bataan

The Plaza Hotel Book Online via Agoda Address: Plaza Mayor de Ciudad de Balanga, Balanga City,  Bataan TEL:  (047) 237 1037 / (02) 775-9145 Globe: 0917-310-5083 Smart: 0998-541-1741

Also Read:

Vacationing Over the Years: Things to Consider When Planning For Future Travel

Hotel Review: Marco Polo Ortigas Manila

List of Beach Resorts in Bataan

Travel Tales: What I love about Bataan

A Glimpse of The Plaza Hotel in Balanga, Bataan Denise Alyssa G. Villamar

[ethanalter]

Emmys: ‘Master of None’ Co-Star Lena Waithe On Crafting Her Coming Out Episode, ‘Thanksgiving’

Lena Waithe as Denise and Aziz Ansari as Dev in Netflix’s Master of None (Credit: Netflix)

As we enter Emmy season — nomination voting runs June 12 to June 26 — Yahoo TV will be spotlighting performances and other contributions that we feel deserve recognition.

As the co-creator, star, executive producer, and a writer/director of Master of None, Aziz Ansari is the face of the acclaimed Netflix series, which earned him an Emmy for Outstanding Writing last year. But Ansari and his alter ego, struggling actor and foodie Dev Shah, take a backseat in two of Season 2’s standout episodes. For example, the sixth installment, “New York, I Love You,” offers up a triptych of stories following New Yorkers who exist outside of Dev’s day-to-day life.

And while Dev is very much present in the eighth episode, “Thanksgiving,” it’s not his story that’s being told. Instead, this moving, hilarious half-hour puts his friend Denise, played by Lena Waithe, front and center for an autobiographical account based on her own experience coming out to her mother, portrayed onscreen by Angela Bassett. “What’s so cool about Aziz is that he’s the sort of dude that wants to surround himself with really interesting people,” the actress tells Yahoo TV about creating an episode where the ostensible star plays second fiddle. “He really wants to be able to pass the ball, and that’s how I want to work as well.”‘

It’s worth noting that life doesn’t completely imitate art in “Thanksgiving,” which takes place over the course of multiple Turkey Days, starting in the early ’90s and ending in the present day. Writing her first Master of None script in collaboration with Ansari, Waithe says that certain liberties were taken in terms of characterization and incident. But she hopes her own experience can inspire similar stories from other artists. “We’re ready for more stories like this,” she says emphatically. “There could be a show all about a queer person of color and her friends, and people would show up for it. I think they’re hungry for it!”

We spoke with Waithe about the writing process that resulted in “Thanksgiving,” and how her mom reacted when she learned she’d be played by Angela Bassett.

Lena Waithe as Denise in Netflix’s Master of None (Photo: Netflix)

“Thanksgiving” obviously came from a very personal place, as most of the Master of None episodes do. How did you translate your own life into this episode? A lot of it came out of a conversation I had with the writers about my life. They asked the question, “How did you come out? What was it like?” and I started to tell them. I was very honest, and that conversation was very animated. Afterwards, they were like, “Yes, that’s the story we have to tell, because we haven’t seen it before.” I actually didn’t think my story was that special! But Aziz and Alan [Yang, Master of None‘s co-creator] said that there was something really cool about it. The writers are the ones who came up with the way to frame it, so that we could get all of the information into one episode.

So the idea of structuring the episode around multiple Thanksgivings emerged from the writers’ room? Or was that also based on your life? It was definitely in the writers’ room, but the Thanksgiving idea was based on stories I told them about women talking around the table, and the conversations we would have. I thought it was so smart to play with those different timeframes; once they told me that I was like, “Oh, that’s brilliant.” Aziz and I were able to hit the ground running once we got that framework.

Dev has elements of Aziz in him, but also has his own distinct personality. How different is Denise from you? I think the biggest difference is that she’s a lot more laid back; I’m more animated, a little bit more high strung, and a little louder. But I’m just as blunt, we have a similar fashion sense, and I go hard for my friends. This was the first time I’d ever written anything for myself, and I stretched myself a little bit in writing it. I’m familiar with the tone of the show, and I definitely know the guidelines in which we color in. To me, it was more fun writing for the mother, for Catherine. It’s harder to write for Dev, so I would always tell Aziz, “You handle that,” because it was so specific to his voice. There was no weirdness between Aziz and I as we were writing it; we were literally passing the laptop between us like a basketball.

Angela Bassett as Catherine in Netflix’s Master of None (Photo: Netflix)

Speaking of Catherine, what elements are there to her character that you based directly on your own mother? The big thing was that I wanted to make sure she felt human, and that she wasn’t the villain. She was just a person that had this thing thrust upon her that she wasn’t very well equipped to handle. That happened in real life, so I really wanted to make sure that came across, and the fact that even though she doesn’t always know the right things to say, a lot of her [actions] come out of love and protection for her kids. A lot of people have said to me that they love that she’s not damning her daughter to hell, and she’s not disowning her. It’s more a case of, “I can’t wrap my brain around this, so excuse me while we go on this bumpy road to comfort level.”

She’s different than my mom, because my mom’s not a television character, so there was a lot more to lean on. Angela really created the character; she understood what we were doing, and brought her own flair to it. The cool thing about it is that nobody is pointing a finger at the mom and saying, “She’s awful.” Everybody’s saying, “This is just a really refreshing look at what it’s like to come out within a black family.” And I think, to me, that’s a huge triumph, and I take a lot of pride in that.

Kym Whitley as Joyce and Angela Bassett as Catherine in Netflix’s Master of None (Photo: Netflix)

Are the other two women in the episode, the aunt and the grandmother, also based on people in your own life? Absolutely. The grandmother is loosely based on my grandmother, my mother’s mom, who passed away, so it’s definitely very much a tribute to her. She’s the one smoking cigarettes with plastic on the couches, and saying crazy stuff. That was her all day long! I do have a biological aunt, my mom’s sister, so Aunt Joyce is a combination of her and a lot of my mom’s friends who were very much my “play aunts” growing up. In the episode, we never specify if Joyce is Catherine’s sister or friend, and I love that the lines are blurred. My mom has a lot of close female friends, and they all had different ways of gossiping, different ways of talking about what was going on in the world, and different ways of talking s**t. So Kym Whitley [who plays Joyce] is really, I think, the unsung hero of the episode. She embodies all of these black women that you’ve ever met, and that you know have your back.

What was your reaction when you found out you’d be acting opposite Angela Bassett as your mom? Honestly, I thought she was a little out of our league. You can ask Melina [Matsoukas, who directed “Thanksgiving”] and Aziz; I literally told them, “Y’all are crazy. This is not going to happen.” But Aziz was like, “We’ve got to reach for the stars. Let’s see what happens.” I was in London at the time, and he emailed me saying, “It’s looking good.” And then two days later, he was like, “She’s doing it.” It made me go, “We’re making something really important now! We can’t bulls**t; Angela Bassett is gonna be on set!” [Laughs] We had the episode written, and were making changes and tweaks to it, so I think we all realized we had to step it up.

What was it like telling your mom that she’d be played by Angela Bassett? Here’s the funny thing: she actually found out before I could tell her! We were trying to keep it under wraps, and Angela went to the Emmys and was on the red carpet when someone asked her, “What do you have coming up?” She blew the lid off by saying, “I’m going to go play Denise’s mom on Master of None.” People ran with the story, and that’s how my mom found out. She was really excited and happy.

What was your favorite scene to write in “Thanksgiving,” and which was your favorite to perform? The one that I enjoyed writing the most was the scene between Catherine and Joyce after Denise has just come out to her. I like writing for black women period, and there’s nothing more amazing or hilarious than two older black women who are single as hell, talking about a young woman being gay and what that means. It was like they were playing tennis — it was awesome. People expect Denise’s coming out scene to be the one I liked performing the most, and I loved doing it. But I really liked the scene at the table with Nikki [the second girlfriend that Denise brings home, played by Erica Mena]. It legit felt like a family, and Erica did a phenomenal job poking fun at herself. We found our groove in those scenes at the table, and it was really fun to shoot.

One of the things that Master of None does really well is illustrating how specific cultural stories can also be universal. We’ve seen coming out stories told before, but “Thanksgiving” tells it from the perspective of a black woman coming out to her mom. How did you find the universality in what was a very specific experience for Denise? When I write, I don’t necessarily think about making something universal. Whenever a thing is very specific to someone’s experience, it can’t help but be universal. The thing I hate the most is when people write up the middle, because when you do that no one can really relate to it. It feels like you’re actively trying to appeal to everybody, and it goes to that saying about “if you try to please everyone, you’ll please no one.” This might make me some enemies out here in the world, but I don’t have a desire to please everybody. I just don’t. I’m an artist, and I want to make things that are specific, honest, and fresh that appeal to me and my senses. It’s my job as an artist to keep my finger on the pulse; that way if things that only appeal to me stop appealing to the world, it means I have to get out in the world and touch people. Writing something that is specific and makes me laugh is how comedians work. If they tell a joke that doesn’t make them laugh, how can they expect to make somebody else laugh?

Are there any specific prejudices within the black community about gay rights and coming out that you wanted to make sure you hit through writing this — not as a lesson, but something for families to watch and come to some sort of understanding? I think there are prejudices in every group. That’s made very clear in the scene with teenage Denise when she comes out to Dev. She says, “Some black people think being gay is a choice.” But no group is a monolith; I’ve seen images on the Today show of black parents who have trans kids and they’re super-embracive. I think it’s more generational than it is cultural. Now, remind you, there are elements of the culture that speak to some of these elements of homophobia. As each generation passes, the easier being out and being yourself will become. It’s the old ways of thinking that we have to rid ourselves of. My mother and aunts are of a different generation, and came to this belief system that we, as a minority, have to do everything we can to assimilate into our society. That means being married, getting a house, having a good job, and being a contributing member of society. For my generation, it’s about, “I may not wanna have kids” or “I may not wanna buy a house with a white picket fence.” It’s about changing up the status quo.

In terms of deciding the personalities of the two women Denise brings home to meet her family — the level-headed Michelle, and the wacky Nikki — how many variations on those characters did you explore? Michelle [played by Ebony Obsidian] is loosely based on my actual girlfriend, Alana, this very professional, awesome girl who’s very much my equal and we just vibe. No shade to the Nikkis in this world, but there are phases you go through when you date people like that. You want somebody to have fun with; they may not be your level intellectually, but you’re just like, “This is fun, we’re vibing, I like looking at you, and we have more sexual chemistry than we do an emotional one.” Aziz and I liked the idea of Denise bringing home a chick that’s not as popular with her family, but they didn’t love the first girl either because she was a girl. I’ve only brought home one girl, and that girl is the girl I’m currently with, because I know how significant that is. Even when you’re straight, bringing home people is weird. When you’re gay, it’s even more heightened, and I think we kinda wanted to show that gay people go through those weird dating phases, too.

Assuming the show doesn’t return, as Aziz has suggested, do you have an idea in your mind as to where Denise goes next in her life? Sure. I think that’s just the writer in me. I hope she eventually gets engaged. Maybe have a kid, and be a cool radio personality. She’s very blunt, and I think she has a great voice. I want her out there giving her opinions about things that are going on in the world. She’s sort of like a black Judge Judy, and I would love for her to have a job where she gets to give her blunt advice to not just Dev, but to everybody. That’ll be my dream for her.

Since Dev’s culinary series, BFFs, is defunct, maybe he and Denise could team up for an advice show. I’d love that! Advice from Denise & Dev. We’ve already got the title! [Laughs]

Master of None is currently streaming on Netflix.

Read more from Yahoo TV:

Emmys: ‘Master of None’ Music Supervisor on His Proudest Moment

Emmys: ‘Bates Motel’ EP Kerry Ehrin, Star Freddie Highmore on their Friendship

Emmys: ‘OITNB’ Star Laverne Cox Revisits Sophia’s Brave Pushback Against Solitary Confinement

Emmys: ‘Better Things’ Creator/Star Pamela Adlon on Being the Boss

Emmys: ‘Westworld’ Star Thandie Newton on Embodying the ‘Daring and Vicious’ Maeve

Emmys: ‘This Is Us’ Star Milo Ventimiglia Gets Misty Revisiting ‘The Pool’

Emmys: ‘Stranger Things’ Star David Harbour Revisits Sheriff Hopper’s Tough-Guy Moment

Emmys: ‘Feud’ Star Susan Sarandon on ‘The First Time I Really Felt Like Bette’

Emmys: ‘Westworld’ Star Jeffrey Wright Revisits That Reveal

Emmys: ‘Legion’ Star Aubrey Plaza on ‘Trying to Act Like Beyoncé’ in Dance Scene

Emmys: Alexander Skarsgård Revisits His ‘Big Little Lies’ Therapy Session

Emmys: ‘Gilmore Girls’ Star Lauren Graham Revisits Her ‘Scariest’ Scene

[nolimitsongrace]

September 1: The Solution to Offense

The Solution to OffenseSeptember 1, 2019

…If thy brother trespass against thee, rebuke him; and if he repent, forgive him. — Luke 17:3

I was once offended by a missionary who lied to me and led me into a web of deceit that hurt me deeply. What really hurt was that I had trusted this man and had such a high regard for him. But when I discovered what he had done — and that he had done it deliberately — it was like a knife had been plunged into the depth of my soul. Every time I saw that brother and how casually and unrepentant he behaved about what he had done, the devil twisted that knife in my back another turn and caused that deeply intense pain to be inflicted all over again.

I really didn’t know what to do to resolve the situation. I felt the missionary should be held accountable for what he had done to Denise and me and to our ministry — but there was no way to hold him accountable that we could find. So he just drifted away freely, facing no consequences for the deep wound he had caused in my heart.

One day as I lay in my bed, pondering this situation, the Holy Spirit spoke to my heart and said, “Rick, your only option is to let it go. If you hold on to this pain and hurt, it will imprison you to your emotions and hinder you from making the forward progress I want you to make in life.”

*[If you started reading this from your email, begin reading here.]

Was the Holy Spirit really telling me to just let it go and act like what this minister had done never happened — while I continued to rub shoulders with him from time to time at meetings that we were both required to attend? This seemed like a most difficult thing that the Lord was asking me to do!

Meanwhile, the offender felt no guilt for what he’d done. He suffered no pain for the suffering he had inflicted on us. He was free in his mind from the entire matter! He didn’t wrestle with a single thought about his betrayal of a fellow minister and brother in the Lord. Instead, I was the one who was bound, consumed with negative thoughts and feelings of hurt, pain, and offense. It was like this man had no conscience — and that ate away at me too.

Have you ever held on to an inward offense instead of dealing with it quickly? If so, you know that it has a way of eating away at your soul — spoiling your outlook on life, adversely affecting your view of others, and, of course, negatively impacting your spiritual life. Furthermore, when you allow offense to fester in your soul, you become less and less guarded with your own words about your offender. It’s not long until you start talking about the other person who offended you rather than praying for him or her, because as the Bible teaches, out of the abundance of the heart, the mouth speaks.

Have you ever been guilty of telling others about a negative thing that another person said or did to you? If you did, were you aware that you were defiling your listeners? You were staining their thoughts with a negative opinion that could change how they see and respond to the person who offended you. Every time those who heard your words encounter your offender in the future, they will likely remember that report you gave them.

This is precisely how gossip-fueled scandals are created, many of which cause irrevocable damage. No one wins when bitterness is allowed to take root and then spring up to defile many.

Instead of being free in my own situation, I found that my mouth had become a vehicle to say ugly things about this man every chance I got. Maybe my words were not so direct and caustic, but they left an impression for any listener to understand that I had serious doubts about the integrity of this leader. Without directly accusing him, I was purposefully casting a shadow on his integrity.

Finally, a day came when I sat down with this man — one of the most difficult things I had ever done — and expressed my feelings to him. To make sure there was a witness, I brought along another ministry leader to listen to both of us and judge the situation. After hours of conversation, rehashing the story over and over again, it was obvious that my offender was not repentant or even slightly sorry for what he had done. This led me to a choice: I could stay hurt and in bondage to my pain forever, or I could choose to let it go and walk away free. “Letting it go” is exactly what the Holy Spirit had already told me to do!

That night, I was reminded of Jesus’ words in both Luke 17:3 and in Mark 11:25. In Luke 17:3, He provided a solution: “…If thy brother trespass against thee, rebuke him, and if he repent, forgive him.” Then in Mark 11:25, Jesus gave the full solution: “And when ye stand praying, forgive, if ye have ought against any…”

I had rebuked this missionary in the presence of another leader, yet it made no difference. But even though he had not repented, my options were still the same! I could remain in emotional bondage to the pain he had inflicted — or I could forgive him and walk away from that table free, even if he never, ever recognized the extent of the damage he had done to us.

Jesus expects us to take the mature role and to forgive others, regardless of how they behave. The word “forgive” is the Greek word aphiemi, which means in modern terms to let it go. Rather than be held hostage by what someone has done to you, or by what you may think that person has done to you, Jesus says, “Aphiemi — let it go.”

But often the only way you can truly dismiss, release, and let go of an offense is to get into the presence of the Lord and let Him help you. Just go to Him and say, “Father, I’m not willing to be bound by this offense. I refuse to be imprisoned by these feelings of hurt, rejection, or humiliation. Right now before You, I choose to let it go in the name of Jesus.”

You are the only one who has the authority to rip the root of bitterness and offense out of your own heart. If you’re ever going to be free, move forward, and live fully in the power of God, you’re going to have to release the offenses that you’ve allowed to build a stronghold in your heart.

Also, please be aware that bitterness doesn’t just hinder your walk with God. It will also impede your fellowship with others. The fact is, if you’re bound by offense against one person, that bondage will affect your other relationships as well, because the poisonous attitudes you carry in your heart against one person will affect how you respond to everyone else.

You may have suffered a hurt or offense in the past that harmed you terribly. In fact, it may have robbed you of something that can never be returned or restored. But if you refuse to forgive — to let go of anger, animosity, and bitterness — that offense will continue to work its destruction in your life. A past-tense problem will become a present-tense issue when you refuse to let go of your bitterness. If you don’t get over that past offense, you will give it the power to damage and even destroy your future as you drag it along like a bag of garbage or toxic waste. At some point, you have to just let it go and get over it for your own benefit and for the benefit of those around you.

I don’t know what may have happened to you in the past or what offense you may be holding against someone else right now. But I want you to know that you can walk free of those negative, unhealthy attitudes and emotions if you’ll make the decision to exercise your authority over your own heart and mind. Someone may commit an offense against you by speaking or acting inappropriately toward you without your provocation. But you cannot be offended unless you take the offense to yourself. You always have a choice.

It is a difficult lesson to learn, but learn it you must. There is no other way to move forward in God. When an offense is hurled at you, you are to deal with it scripturally the best way you can. But if you cannot bring it to a peaceful resolution, you are called to let it go. As you do, you will walk away free — free to be all God intended for you to be as you pursue the destiny He ordained for you.

So make the choice today regarding every past offense, hurt, or disappointment: “This day I let it go, and I walk away free!”

MY PRAYER FOR TODAY

Father God, I repent for the offense I have harbored in my heart toward people. I see now that offense has held me in a prison of my own making. I have been tormented by it, and it has kept me from making spiritual progress as I should. Rather than allow offense room to continue festering in my heart and soul, today I make the choice to let it go. I forgive my offenders, and I extend the same grace to them that I want others to give me. Right now I receive freedom as I choose to walk away from the offenses that have held me in bondage for so long!

I pray this in Jesus’ name!

MY CONFESSION FOR TODAY

I declare by faith that I am an offense-free person! Others’ actions, or lack of actions, do not have the power to put me into a state of bitterness and offense. To be offended requires my agreement, and I will no longer agree to stay in a state of unforgiveness and offense. I release those who have violated me in the past, and I will never bring it up again to them, to others, or to myself. I completely and freely forgive them. As a result, I am a free person with no oppressive, parasitic appendages hanging on me any longer!

I declare this by faith in Jesus’ name!

QUESTIONS FOR YOU TO CONSIDER

Have you ever held on to an offense that sabotaged your present or future? How long did you allow that offense to adversely affect you before you finally decided to let it go and be free of it?

Do you know any individuals right now who are held in a spiritual prison because they won’t forgive people that they perceive have done something wrong to them? After reading today’s Sparkling Gem, how should you minister to them to help set them on a path of freedom?

Is it possible that those who have offended you didn’t even know they offended you? Has the devil perhaps conjured up a bogus issue in your mind to steal your peace and rob your joy? And even if the offense is real, don’t you think it’s time to obey Jesus and let it go?