#mcd spoilers

[ink-going-insane]

something random that bothers me is mystreet laurance's eye color.

mcd laurance originally had green eyes, and the reason they turned into a light blue color was because of the irene statue giving him his sight back after the nether incident. at least, that's how i've seen it. idk if the eye change has a more complicated or different lore reason or not ^^;

but then mystreet laurance just has the light blue eyes right off the bat instead of what should've been his natural eye color, green. is it something to do with the irene statue that effected his reincarnation or something? or is it like that just because? is there another reason that i don't know about?

this definitely isn't an original question or realization since this series and its fandom have been around for a good while, but i just wanted to mention it anyway lol

anyway! headcanon that mystreet laurance has heterochromia -w- (i know this isn’t original either but still)

[rexecutioner]

Brian nobody could ever make me hate you

i’d like to think this happened at some point

[lyraofthestarsss]

The Hayden assassination arc is really getting to me. The universe really said the Zvahl siblings are orphans and will STAY orphans

I feel like Hayden’s death really showed the most of Laurance’s greatest flaw. He’s angry, almost uncontrollably so. But the issue is not the anger, but how he manages it. His anger is tied to his shadow knight abilities, and he HATES that part of himself. He’s terrified of becoming a monster with no control over himself. So in an effort to maintain that control, he buries any and all negative feelings deep within himself. But all of that pain festers inside, and the suppression only creates even more explosive anger. It’s a viscous cycle

There were a few moments where I was a little angry at Aphmau for not realizing how much pain he’s in and instead focusing more on the murder investigation. But then I realized that’s it not her job to take care of his mental health for him. She can comfort him of course, that’s what friends do. But she is not responsible for this cycle of suppression and explosion he put himself in

It’s heartbreaking though. Watching someone come undone in front of you, and only being able to watch. The Zvahl siblings have lost so much. Cadenza is practically paralyzed in her grief and depression. And Laurance is forcing himself to carry on when he is not yet ready to

[al4thea]

"What thoughts crossed your mind at that moment? Did your life suddenly replay? What images did you see? Was I there? Because I saw my life flash before me knowing you won't be in it." - probably Simon Riley

[here1snyan]

𝐈𝐧𝐧𝐨𝐜𝐞𝐧𝐭 𝐩𝐫𝐨𝐦𝐢𝐬𝐞𝐬 🟠

guys ITS FINALLY OVERRR IM FREEEEE but seriously im just so relieved to have finished this, it was a huge undertaking, especially since I did ALL the coloring TODAY… im exhausted. taking another day or two off LOL.. HOPE YOU GUYS LIKE IT im super proud of the results, even if my hand kinda hurts lmao

[wispscribbles]

thank you for feeding us such quality ghost soap art mwah bye

And thank you for eating it up!! I love feeding you all w art of the murder lads - Here's some more to chew on :D Tarot Ghoap!

[justplaggin]

i love bsd i hate bsd i love bsd i hate bsd i love bsd i hate bsd i love bsd i hate bsd i love bsd i hate bsd i love bsd i hate bsd i love bsd i hate bsd i love bsd i hate bsd i love bsd i hate bsd i love bsd i hate bsd i love bsd i hate bsd i lo

[shadow0-1]

Which should I regret?

What I became?

Or what I didn't?

[quuiet1]

out of touch out of time

[notnelle]

- if you must die, sweetheart, die knowing your life was my life's best part.

[iltrpls]

WHEN WORLD COLLIDES

[lees-chaotic-brain]

For the song fic event!

Dancing with Your Ghost (Sasha Alex Sloan) with YOU KNOW WHO—Gojo Satoru, of course!—angst/mcd?

I don't really do x reader stuff, but I thought this was a cool idea so I figured why not? 😊✨️

WC: 1.1k

CW: jjk chapter 236 spoilers, mcd, angst, hurt/no comfort, grief, unhealthy coping

Note: aww, thank you so much for sending one in!! this hurt, but omg did i get in my feels writing it. so excited to be posting the first fic for this event!!

listen to this song while reading

Event Guide | Event Masterlist | JJK Masterlist | Blog Navigation

It was past midnight, well into the wee hours of the morning when you woke with a start. Reaching over, you patted the other side of the bed searching for something that would never be there. Instead of the warm body you expected, you made contact with smooth, cool sheets, the surprise jolting you back into reality. 

Remembering that no one was there, you rolled out of bed suddenly unable to bear being in it alone. Sliding your feet into slippers and wrapping a robe around your body you head to the kitchen, the soft sound of your slippers against the hardwood the only sound in the otherwise silent apartment.

Part of you wondered if it would always be like this. If you would spend the rest of your life always searching for something that wasn’t with you. Another part of you knew that you would.

Baby, why'd you go away? I'm still your girl

Knowing you weren’t going to go back to sleep you sighed and put the kettle on for some tea. As you waited for the water to boil you wrapped your arms around yourself and leaned back against the counter. The silence filling your apartment was deafening and the stillness made you uneasy. 

Taking a deep breath you sat down at the counter, staring into space as you allowed yourself to get lost in your thoughts. You don’t know how long you sat there before the shill whistle of the kettle knocked you out of your stupor. You jumped a little, the sound startling you. Moving to stand, it was only then you noticed you were crying. Your fingers reached up and brushed your cheek, and you examined the drops of water on them a little mystified. Deciding that only sleeping four hours in the last week was finally getting to you, you dried your face and turned the stove off. 

Opening the pantry to grab a tea bag, an expired box of kikufuku mochi caught your eye. Inevitably, your thoughts were drawn to him, and a fresh wave of grief hit you. Frantically, you fumbled with the box, hurriedly extracting a tea bag and slamming the pantry door shut a little too violently. The handle of the ceramic mug was cool in your hand as you dunked your tea bag and moved to sit on your couch.

You sank into the soft cushions, unable to stop yourself from grabbing your phone and opening your text chain with him. Despite knowing it was unhealthy, you often found yourself rereading the messages you sent to him that fateful night he hadn’t returned home. The messages get increasingly more panicked with each one, ending with a final “I hope it was painless. I hope you know how much I love you. I didn’t even get to say goodbye…”

Never got the chance to say a last goodbye. 

I gotta move on, but it hurts to try.

Swallowing a sob you shut your phone off and hurl it across the room. You need to move on. You know that. Never leaving your house, pushing your friends away, not sleeping, obsessing over the past, you knew it wasn’t good for you.

Day after day, voicemails and texts poured in from concerned friends and family telling you that you were self-destructing. That this wasn’t what he would have wanted for you. That he would have wanted you to move on. To live.

You know that. You know. But knowing and being able to were two very different things. How were you supposed to move on when everything reminds you of him? When you can’t sleep without his warmth.

Aside from that, your faith in others has been permanently shattered. He had promised you that he would always come back, that he would win. And you had believed him because he was the strongest. And if you couldn’t believe him then who could you? But then he had gone and left you far behind. No. You could never open your heart again. You can’t trust anyone to not leave you like he did.

How do I love? How do I love again?

How do I trust? How do I trust again?

But you were okay with being alone for the rest of your life. Even if the loneliness made it impossible to sleep. Even if his absence wrapped around your throat cutting off your air. You were okay. You didn’t need anyone else. You had your home filled with his belongings and you had yourself. That’s all that mattered.

I stay up all night, tell myself I’m alright

At least that’s what you told yourself. In reality every reminder of him was like a stab to the heart. And maybe you were a masochist because you refused to remove the traces of him from your apartment. Sitting on the sofa you could still see him dancing around the coffee table, hear his laughter fill the air. And sometimes when you closed his eyes and inhaled his scent that still lingered in the air it was like he was still next to you, his voice ringing in your ears.

Baby you’re just harder to see than most

Suddenly the silence in the living room was suffocating. Without the joy and love that used to reside in it, the room felt oppressive. Retrieving your phone from where you had flung it you hastily, you connected to your apartment’s bluetooth and clicked play on the first playlist that popped up in your feed. Some of the stress left your body when a soft dreamy song began to seep from the walls, only to return when you realized what playlist you had accidentally put on. 

Of course you accidentally played the playlist he made for you for your two year anniversary. The playlist of all the songs that reminded him of you. Going to change the playlist you froze when you accidentally hit skip and heard the song that began playing.

It was your song. The song you used to listen to together on quiet evenings. The song that the two of you slow danced to in this very living room. The song you knew all the lyrics to. Slowly, you put your phone down, leaning back and closing your eyes as the music swept over you.

I put the record on, wait ‘til I hear our song

And with the song on repeat, you sat there until the first light of day struck your face, the ghost of Gojo Satoru slow dancing around you. 

Every night I’m dancing with your ghost

Every night I’m dancing with your ghost

[happycatfish]

im reading ahb! rn and the first thing u see when i open tumblr is a spoiler for who the mcd is. literally what am i supposed to do with my life now.

[duskier]

cw angst/MCD/Canon typical violence/spoilers (not meant to be spoilers but in case anyone wants to get mad at me lol)

How do you know what to say when the time to say goodbye comes too soon?

Soap dying in Ghosts arms, shot too many times to count, and the world has disappeared around them suddenly. Ghost wishes the earth would swallow them whole, mold them into one shape under the pressure and weight of the land so his Johnny couldn't actually be taken from him. He wants to wake up back in the barracks from this morning, reassure himself it's all just a dream. Ghost wants so many things, and none of them are helpful right in this moment.

The two had been growing closer- never going past drunkenly kissing and heavy petting in bathroom bars during leave and certainly never talking about it. Ghost, the coward, the big brutish coward, holding the only man he thinks he's ever loved in his arms can't say anything of comfort.

Soap's shivering. Teeth chattering, his warm skin growing cooler and paler by the second. His weak hands are trembling as he tries to pet at Ghost anywhere he can reach.

"Si...mon..." A little blood spatters out of the corners of Johnny's mouth.

"Sergeant."

Even as his consciousness is slipping, Soap still knits his eyebrows together in confusion.

Ghost sighs. "Soap."

"No-" Soap coughs, a wet sound rattling in his lungs. He's left trying to catch his breath, fighting to get his eyes to refocus on Ghost. "Please. I jes' need ta hear it..."

Soap grasps the collar of Ghost’s shirt, locking him in. For a brief moment his grip was so strong and his eyes so fiercely aimed at Ghost that he almost felt frightened.

"I need ye ta tell me ye love me." To an uncaring, heartless viewer, the way Soap’s face crumpled was pathetic. To a stranger unaware of the situation, one might cringe at how Soap sobbed, the pained wet sounds more childish than anything Ghost had ever heard from Soap.

"I... I... Soap, I can't."

The betrayal blazed in Soap’s eyes even as they went glassy.

"Cannae say my name can ye? Was..." More coughing cut him off for too many precious seconds, something wet rattling in his chest. "I was nothing to ye then, was I?"

Ghost was screaming it in his head. The words over and over, so fast and so many times that they overlapped into a dull roar ringing in his ear. His tongue felt thick, he felt he was going to throw up, really. Something in him, some childish thing was so afraid. So afraid and so hurt and angry and overwhelmed to be losing something so precious to him that the words would not form on his tongue.

The pained, sad, awful look on Soap's bloodied face pinched and contorted into a weak, but angry glare. "F-fuck you," He wheezed. His hands tried to start pushing Ghost away, but they were too cold, already too lifeless. Ghost only wound his arms around tighter. "Fuck you, Si..."

Whoever said that death could be like falling asleep could not have been further from the truth for John MacTavish.

"Johnny?" No response. The eyes were half lidded, no longer searching for Ghost.

The body in his arms became the heaviest thing in the world. Ghost shook him, jostling his head side to side to no response. The expression frozen on Soap's face still damning Ghost of his betrayal.

"Johnny, fuck, I'm sorry. I love you. I said it. Can you hear me? Please, fuck, tell me you can hear me. I love you."

Ghost shifted, rocking Soap gently. Shaking hands pushed his eyes shut, brushed his matted hair out of his face. "Johnny, c'mon love. You heard me, right? I love you. I always h-have, and always will. You know that. Right?"

And still, no response came.

[wispscribbles]

hi i just discovered your beautiful art so i obviously needed to scroll down your whole blog to catch up on everything you posted haha

i just wanted to say that i got way too emotional after reading that post of yours regarding mw3 and your mental health… on one hand i’m so sorry that you felt that way, but on the other i feel it with my whole heart

ghoap content especially for me helped me these past few months with my mental health in ways i would never have expected, it was my solace and inspiration, i started working out too and got back into drawing, got a lot better at it as well!

but unfortunately i get way too fixated on fictional stuff and there comes a time that my brain switches up and connects the things i liked and comforted me with things that make me extremely uncomfortable and stressed out, especially if i fall down a fandom rabbit hole that i would never have searched up, beacuse i know myself, i know my limits and triggers but i feel like i’m not a part of the fandom if i don’t like and interact with every single headcanon, art and ship

these past days i was really down because of that, and the things i read (why did i do that???) and now when i think of ghoap i think of that stuff and im scared that i alienated myself from the one thing that made me happy

but discovering your art and with that your post reminded me that im not alone in these feelings, even if it’s not the same exactly, and i wanted to thank you, for sharing your thoughts that time i guess haha <33

((sorry for rambling))

Long reply under 'keep reading' !! CW: talk of triggers and MCD

Always feel free to ramble my way!!! How nice you could find some comfort in my art and ghoap stuff. Especially in my mw3 post. I've been considering deleting it a few times, but hearing it maybe helped to read in some way makes me happy I left it up.

I get where you're coming from - I very much use these fictional characters as a safe space, but ppl view them very differently. There's room for it all, "don't like, don't interact" is very much a policy I agree with. It's important to mute words and be aware of your own triggers as you browse stuff in this fandom, because there's such a wide variety of stuff out there. You do NOT have to interact and agree with every thought people have on this ship, that's impossible and super stressful. There's plenty of stuff and headcanons I don't vibe with. There are no 'requirements' that you have to meet in order to enjoy fiction.

It's part of why I enjoy ghoap - that their dynamic resonates and has sparked so much creativity and outlets for so many - but it also means there's gonna be a lot of stuff u don't necessarily agree with or feel comfortable with. For example, a lot of folks use the MCD in mw3 as a way to explore grief, which I think is really cool, but on a bad day that could potentially get my brain in a bad headspace, so I only check out that art and those fics when I feel okay. There's also a bunch of stuff I'd never want to interact with, and that’s fine !!

I'm personally quite vanilla and a sucker for exploring the softer, more domestic aspects of these characters. It's what brings me joy. I know there are parts of this fandom who don’t vibe with what I make at all, and would call it untrue to the characters. Some creators enjoy exploring the more violent or toxic sides to the source material. That's just how it is, we all need different things from fiction. As long as we're capable of chilling in our respective sandboxes, then all's good.

But if you're like me, and enjoy the softer things, then definitely be aware and careful while exploring this ship and fandom. I've seen takes on these characters that are so far removed from how I view them, that they're basically the complete opposite, and it can leave a very bad taste, especially if you're the type to hinge your safe space on fiction.

Just... be mindful of yourself and your potential triggers, be respectful and don't interact with things that make you uncomfortable to the point of feeling unsafe. Shape your own online experience to your best ability.

Hope you're doing okay and still find joy in ghoap <3

[justplaggin]

asagiri writing character deaths