#maybe yall just express your disappointment in a respectful way
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graycious-tea · 5 months ago
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I am so fucking done with this fandom rn like guys I can’t even express how disappointed and pissed I am right now. I don’t give a shit if you don’t like a storyline, I don’t give a shit if you don’t like a ship canon or not. I do not give a shit if you don’t like the character. You DO NOT attack the fucking actors who are playing a role and doing their goddamn job. You also do not speak for said actors. Yes I’m talking to you bitches who say Oliver clearly hates Lou. Ever use those critical thinking skills of yours and wonder, maybe he wasn’t feeling up for an interview that day?? People have shit days guys, some celebrities don’t enjoy interviews, they do not exist to please you. They have zero obligation to pander to you, absolutely zero. Yall see what you want to see and it’s so fucking obtuse and ignorant of you. Your hate over something so stupid has genuinely hurt people and their enjoyment of oh what was it again? That’s right, A FUCKING SHOW! It’s not that serious guys! Like oh my god! And don’t even get me started on the backwards homophobia and racism in these ship wars like holy fucking shit yall are insane. You are not racist for liking Tommy (a white man) over Eddie (a Latino man) in regards to a romantic relationship with Buck (who is also a white man). You are not homophobic for wanting Buck to be with Tommy and you sure as hell are not fetishizing mlm relationships! That one pisses me off so much, I do not love Tevan cus I want to see two hot guys make out, I love them because of how good Tommy is for Buck and how important their queer story is to tell. I love them because Tommy is gentle with Buck, calls him Evan as a way for Buck to allow himself to accept all aspects of himself not just the shield of “Buck”. I love them because it normalizes middle aged macho men being vulnerable; it normalizes men in their 30’s coming out! It does so many wonderful things! And all you can see is you and what you want. Now there are some buddie fans who are respectful so I’m not trying to like villainize all yall in one box but the BOB’s have me sooo upset and I just want to thank yall that are being respectful, I want to continue to like buddie because they are cute but it has become difficult. I normally don’t post content like this but oh my god this has just become so frustrating
Edit: this has been in my drafts for months, but after seeing all the shit talk after that deleted scene was posted I fully do not give a single fuck anymore I’m posting it
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lio-de-galons · 6 years ago
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Y'all are so entitled its fucking crazy lmao
S t o p demanding things from the showrunners. They don't owe us anything.
As much as I want klance, and think it has a chance, I'm not gonna throw that directly into their faces with the force of a thousand suns!!!
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drawlfoy · 4 years ago
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Wonders of Ohio P.9
masterlist
requests are closed, but please read this first :)
if you want to be tagged, send an ask or message me!
pairing: draco x reader
request: nope, my original shameless self insert idea lmao
summary: american high school senior y/n y/l/n is in for the ride of her life when their exchange student is...a bit strange (but very hot). NOT a nonmagic AU, though you already knew that if you’ve read part 8 ;)
warnings: swearing, mentions of a break in, concerns about a home intruder, objectively the most fluffy scene we’ve gotten so far in this series (hehe), draco being fucking obnoxious and moody (did i mention swearing?)
a/n: ayoooooo so here’s part 9, as promised. i’ve started getting back into the hp universe more and more, so i should probably be picking up my writing soon. i’ve been feeling more myself again!! which is super awesome. i don’t think many people read this series anymore (or my author notes in general but i don’t blame yall) but i’m having a lot of fun writing it, so i’m going to keep going :)
music recs: 
puppy princess -- hot freaks
loverboy -- A-wall
linger -- the cranberries
tags tags tags: @gruffle1 @missmulti @cleopatera @hahaboop @accio-rogers @geeksareunique @eltanin-malfoy @war-sword @cams-lynn @itsivyberry @ayo-cowbelly @nerd-domland @yesnerdsblog @shizarianathania @evanstanfanatic @strawberriesonsummer @hariosborn @night-ving @straightzoinked @imintoodeeptostop @naiomimoonshard @jejegu @ophelia-enthusiast @alwaysbeanunknownfan @nearly-memories @litty-dumb @callieclearwater @malfoy-wife15 @charlenasaxen @belladaises @fiantomartell @writeandtranslate @erisdogwood @loveissupernatural @sycathorn-slush @big-galaxy-chaos
word count: 3.8k :)
Y/N couldn’t help but wonder if Draco deliberately waited until the last minute to tell her family that he was leaving so he could evade her questioning. She tried to talk to him later that evening by knocking on his door, but she was met with complete silence. 
Draco was ignoring her, and she didn’t get why. She’d promised to not tell anyone--even begged for him to trust her and essentially swore on her life--but he still wasn’t acting normal. Perhaps he didn’t want her to badger him with questions about the magical world. 
Or maybe this was an excuse to get away from her.
Y/N swallowed the second possibility and locked it away somewhere out of sight. He’d left without a single word more to her (not even a congratulations for getting into a top 20 school, that loser) and never even bothered telling her when he’d return. And maybe that was the nicest part of it--she could pretend like he was never coming back.
As attractive as that option was, she had to admit that there was a Draco-shaped hole in her passenger car seat every time she drove to school. And in the kitchen when she was studying. And everywhere else he’d once touched. 
“Why do you think he went back?” 
Y/N took a break from reviewing her Art History final exam notes to look up at Lizzy. “Maybe something happened with his dad or he wanted to spend his holidays with his family? It’s probably not that serious.”
“Speaking of his dad, I tried to look up his name and see if anything came up,” Lizzy began. Y/N felt her heart jump into her throat. “Don’t you think it’s kinda sus? I haven’t found anything for him. It’s like he’s been completely wiped off the face of the earth. Do you know anything about it?”
“Honestly, I don’t think it’s any of my business.” Draco’s franticness when she found out lingered in the back of her mind as she chose her words carefully. “I’m sure if he’s a genuine political target, they’ve just scrubbed the web clean of him, being a minor and all.”
“But don’t you think it’s funny that he’s apparently so important but there’s no evidence of him or his father ever existing?”
“Lizzy.” Her voice was firm. “It’s entirely possible that his real name is different. And either way, it’s not our story to uncover. He’s entitled to his own privacy, and if he doesn’t reveal his true identity then we need to respect that.”
“Oooookaaayyyyy, Mother,” said Lizzy. “You’re so fun. You know that, right?”
“It’s my job.”
After the close brush with Lizzy, Y/N avoided the topic of Draco with her friends like wildfire. At the back of her mind, she registered that that was probably more suspicious, but when Sylvia asked her about him during lunch, she finally spun up a story.
“I told him I liked him,” she told everyone, the words stinging her throat. “He doesn’t feel the same way. I just would feel better if we dropped it.”
Her friends reacted immediately with sympathy, telling her that it wasn’t her fault that he couldn’t see her for what she was worth. Somehow, this made her feel worse. She didn’t even need to tell him her feelings to know his thoughts--he didn’t see her as anything but a “muggle”, or whatever he called them. She never stood a chance.
Y/N spent an embarrassing amount of time wondering how things would’ve been different if she was a witch. She didn’t know anything about his world (apart from the fact that they really had a stick up their asses about people knowing of them) but she somehow craved a place in it. Would Draco feel differently towards her if she was magic? 
It was probably better if she didn’t pay too much mind to it, but she couldn’t let the thought go. Every time she shut her eyes at night, the memory of waking up next to Draco replayed in her head, over and over. She would’ve sold her soul to have gone back to that. Would things have been different if she had just...not found the letters? She was driving herself crazy digging through all her interactions with him. There’s no way she was imagining things, and judging by the surprised reactions of her friends when she told them he didn’t reciprocate feelings, she wasn’t the only one who thought something was there. If he was really so disgusted by her and her people, he wouldn’t have let her sleep in his room, in his bed no less. 
As December wore on, her mind began to be occupied by another feverish stream of thoughts. If she didn’t already feel like she was going crazy over the Draco problem, she was going completely insane over the fact that she was misplacing things like crazy and forgetting the most basic of things. It seemed like it was almost every day that she was forgetting where she put her keys (even though she could’ve sworn she’d hung them up by the door) or getting home to find the door already unlocked even though she was sure that she’d locked it behind her. It would’ve creeped her out, but she was really off kilter. It just wasn’t right having Draco away, and the sense of dread she got every time she went by her room just threw her off balance. What if she still had lingering sickness from whatever magical infliction she suffered? 
He really should’ve stuck around to watch after me. Just in case. 
Another thing was bothering her--a name she saw pop up in the pouch from when she went through his letters. It was a small portion of his collection, and she didn’t even think to examine it until after he took them back from her, but she noticed that the name “Pansy Parkinson” came up more than once as a return address. 
Her mind immediately jumped to the worst--Draco was madly in love with another girl, a magical girl, and traveled back home with the express purpose of declaring his neverending devotion for her and complaining about that rat Ohioan muggle that he had to spend his days with. 
Y/N knew it wasn’t healthy, but no matter what she did, she couldn’t quite shake it. The fact that he’d no doubt grown up around girls that would be suitable for him to date was making her physically ill with jealousy, which was probably the most embarrassing part of her feelings for him. Nevermind how much time she spent fantasizing about how soft his hair felt or how his stupidly pretty fingers would feel grazing her skin--she couldn’t even cope with the idea of him existing with other women that were honestly a better choice to him. 
That Christmas was surprisingly bleak. Being an only child always made for a quiet house during the holidays, but the expectation she held of having Draco there set her up for disappointment. Her house felt empty.
“Do you think he’s coming back?” Y/N asked her mother as they did the morning dishes together. 
“Well, I assume so. Why wouldn’t he? He was scheduled to spend the entire year with us. I think that if he’s changed his mind we would at least know by now.”
“What if he’s still deciding?”
“Why, miss him already?” Mrs. Y/L/N’s tone was teasing, but she felt her cheeks grow hot. 
“Quite the contrary. I’m just wondering if I’m about to become the pampered only child again or if I’m going to need to go back into the unglamorous life of sharing the spotlight.”
“Y/N,” her mother tutted. She’d stopped doing the dishes.
Y/N made a point to evade her knowing look. “Mom.” 
Her mother took a breath before answering. “Nothing. As a matter of fact, I did get a letter from him a few days ago. He’s scheduled to return the second week of January, right before school goes back.”
“Oh,” said Y/N. No matter how hard she tried, there’s no way her relief wasn’t visible.
“How’s that for your Christmas gift, hm?” 
“Mom!”
“Hey! Hey, it was a joke,” Mrs. Y/L/N said, throwing her hands up in a “no can do” sort of gesture. “I know that you’re good friends with him is all. Unless…”
“Mom!” Her cheeks were all shades of red.
“All I’m saying is that he seems to enjoy your company.”
“Stockholm syndrome, I’m telling you.” Her explanation of what that meant was on the tip of her tongue before she stopped herself. There was no reason to--the only person who would need that explained to them was no longer on the same continent as her. 
“Whatever you’d like to think.”
The snowstorm hit them without warning, two days after Christmas. Her parents had left for the night to attend a charity auction, but unfortunately for Y/N, by the time that they realized that their daughter would be snowed in, the roads were too dangerous to drive on. Y/N begrudgingly agreed to do all of the things they told her to--get the generator ready, make sure the fireplace was prepared, and locate all the candles in the house. 
On any normal day, she wouldn’t have been concerned in the slightest, but she’d felt uneasy in her house ever since the night of the break-in, and now that this was the first night she’d have to spend alone, her heart was pounding at the thought of having to sleep in an empty house. Especially if the power was out. Especially when whoever broke in was still on the loose. 
She locked up at dusk, making sure that every entry to her home was completely sealed shut. The generator was in the basement, all set up in the case that the lights went out. She’d located all the bottled water in her house in case the pipes froze, and she finally retired to her room to relax. 
The sense of dread that hovered around Draco’s room was gone, thankfully. The overall feeling of creepiness was just beginning to lose its jarring sting, but she’d never quite been able to shake how many things she misplaced in the beginning of the month. 
She busied herself with mundane activities--she cleaned out her closet, organized her drawers, read, changed her sheets, and finished the last of her homework--but nothing could distract her from the gnawing inside of her. The hairs on the back of her neck constantly stood up, even when she was tucked away in the corner of her room, nestled into her blankets. The tingling was akin to what she felt when she walked into that antique shop on homecoming night--the same night when Draco helped her off her feet and narrowly kept her from throwing up all over Heather.
Looking back on it, she realized that when he grabbed her wrist, he must’ve done something to quell her nausea, something magical. There was no way her carsickness could’ve been able to disappear so quickly. 
Her soliloquy was interrupted by what sounded like footsteps outside. Before she could assess the situation and decide what she was going to do, a boom sounded off in the distance and she was all of a sudden bathed in darkness.
Y/N froze.
Someone was most definitely outside her house, but thankfully she’d locked all the doors. And, thankfully, the boom told her that her fuse box hadn’t been messed with. A tree had probably just fallen on a transformer. 
But those small comforts still didn’t change the fact that she was no longer alone--and not only that, but no longer alone without power. 
Her thoughts were interrupted once again by banging on her front door. Y/N jumped, just barely managing to clap her hand over her mouth to muffle her shriek. She’d seen enough horror movies to know that alerting someone that you were home wasn’t the smartest move. She’d have to be strategic. 
Heart pounding out of her chest, she crept out of her room and down the stairs. The power outage was quite lucky, she realized, as whoever was outside couldn’t see in. The moon only cast a slight light as it reflected off of the snow, so she was going to be able to see the person outside before they would see her.
She squinted from her perch by the base of the staircase. She could make out a silhouette, a tall and lanky one. The weak moonlight reflected off a very light head of hair, and Y/N was struck with a feeling of familiarity.
No way...
Y/N stood frozen for a few seconds as she heard the person knock on the door again. A muffled version of a familiar British voice said, “Is anyone there?”
Throwing all caution to the wind and praying to any higher power that was listening to her that her suspicion was correct, she pushed down on the doorknob and swung it open.
Her heart stopped. 
“Draco? What are you--”
Before she could get another word out of her mouth, she was pulled into the tightest (and snowiest) hug of her life. One of his arms wrapped solidly around her waist, the other reaching further up to her shoulders to hold her closer. He was tall enough in comparison that he could rest his chin on the top of her head while she cautiously clasped her hands around him, breathing in the same soft pine scent that she knew so well.
When he finally let go of her, she noticed that his face was decidedly less pale than what it had been when she first opened the door. At a loss for words, Y/N just made her way behind him and shut the door to keep the storm from blowing any more snowflakes in. She noted that Draco was shaking.
“You’re okay,” he said, his voice low and quiet.
She grinned. “Yeah. Believe it or not, I’m not that scared of the dark.”
He didn’t look nearly as amused, wringing his hands out in front of him instead of meeting her eyes.
“You’re going to freeze to death if you’re gonna just stand there in soaking clothes,” she chided. “And what are you doing back half a month early? I know you must’ve missed me, but I didn’t expect you to miss me THAT much.”
He rolled his eyes, bringing Y/N the comfort that the sarcastic asshole was still in there. “We need to talk.”
“No, what you need to do is get changed into dry clothes,” she said. “Not sure if you’ve noticed, but until we get our generator working, there’s no heat...and I’m not sure if the Ministry is going to like it if I let you die on my watch.”
Even though he didn’t normally laugh at her jokes, he seemed especially solemn when she said this. It became very clear to her then that he regretted his brief display of affection.
“What are you doing, just standing here? Shoo! I don’t want to see you dripping snow all over the rug.” She waved him off until he made his way up the stairs, still eerily silent. 
Once she was sure he was actually getting dressed, she made her way to the kitchen where she started heating up the water. She’d never been more thankful for the fact that they had a gas stove instead of an electric one. 
The tea was almost finished brewing by the time that Draco was back downstairs, perched awkwardly on the couch. She’d never seen his sweater before--it was in a rich forest green with a silver crest of a snake. 
“Are you going to tell me whatever is going on? I’ve never seen you like this before,” asked Y/N as she handed him the mug that she knew to be his favorite.
He took a sip and waited a bit before responding. “I found out some things while I was away.”
“Is that it? Must’ve been something pretty interesting for you to come in here and act like I’m your long lost love or whatever.” She took careful note of how his cheeks were especially pink, but it must’ve been because of the cold.
“I shouldn’t tell you everything, but I think you should probably know the gist of things,” he began. “First of all, I figured out why I couldn’t use the Obliviation cube on you. Also, you have to consent to an Unbreakable Vow.”
“A...what? Care to elaborate? Like, at least a little? Why didn’t it work on me?”
He sighed, a sharp breath of air that left his lungs in a huff. “Because you stumbled upon a very important box that can bestow the gift of magic onto anyone. And since you did something in your dream to try and open it, it permanently took root in you. I tried to reverse it, but there’s always going to be an imprint of magic on you.”
“Sick. So I’m a witch now? Like you?”
“No.” His tone was sour. “No, you’re not. For that to work, there needs to be a ritual actually completed by someone magical. That’s why you got so sick--because you would’ve needed me to help you through your dream sequence and open up the box. So, now that you’ve essentially pushed yourself into the magical world uninvited, I can’t use anything on you that’s catered towards Muggles.”
“Rats,” said Y/N. “That’s no fun. What about the whole part about my safety? And what’s that vow thing?”
“Apparently someone really, really wants that box,” Draco told her. “It doesn’t just give muggles the gift of magic--it can also give current wizards powers that are otherwise completely unavailable to the rest of the population. In the wrong hands, they could wreak havoc on the world. And I’m almost positive they think you have it.”
“Oh…” Everything started falling into place. “So, the break in? That probably was them right? And, uh, let’s say if you feel like maybe someone has been in your house while you’ve been gone? Like, that’s something I should be worried about, right?” 
“Is that happening to you?” His face looked significantly more pale.
Y/N was tempted to tell him no--just to ease his nerves--but something in his look told her that she needed to be truthful. “Um, kind of. You know how I can be forgetful, though. It’s just little things, like sometimes I come home to find that the front door is unlocked when I’m sure I locked it, or I can’t find little things like my car keys and my phone, but it’s all easily explained.”
“I never should’ve left,” he said, tucked his knees up to his chest. “I should’ve known that that was Merlin’s Box.” He swallowed, meeting her eyes with a gaze that looked so forlorn that her heart ached. “I’m so sorry.”
“Hey, hey, all we have to do is tell them I don’t have the box, right? And then they’ll leave me alone.” 
“I don’t know,” he admitted. “I assume so, but if they didn’t find the box when they originally ransacked your room and they’re still hanging around, I don’t know what to do. That’s why I can’t obliviate you, the proper way that we use on wizards, because I can’t always be there to save you. Once I’m gone, you’re going to have to manage on your own.”
“Please, Draco,” said Y/N. “People will always talk a big game, but once I pull out my pepper spray it’s over. I can take care of myself! I didn’t need protection while you’re away.”
He smiled then, a small one that seemed more sad than anything. “You sound like me. When I was younger.”
“You probably don’t even know what pepper spray is. What’s that vow thing?”
“You have to promise that you won’t say anything that would reveal what you know about me and my world,” said Draco. “I need to find a wizard to say the incantations, but it shouldn’t be too hard. I ended up telling the Ministry what happened--I’m not going to get sent away as they have a clear record of me at least attempting to wipe your memory and they agree that you need to be able to protect yourself. Unbreakable Vows are just really intense promises. If you break it, you die.”
“Is that your way of saying you don’t really trust my word?”
He rolled his eyes. “It’s required by the Ministry. If you don’t comply, then you’re going to be completely obliviated and then you can have as much fun as you’d like trying to run from whoever that criminal is without even knowing why they’re after you. Oh, and without me.” 
“Then why are you even offering the vow? Don’t you want to go home?”
Draco took a long drink from his mug. “I still have a sentence to carry out. If I go back home, I’ll get sent to the same prison that my father is being held at right now.”
“A...sentence?” Y/N stared at him. “I know you mentioned a punishment, but a sentence?”
He remained silent and refused to meet her eyes.
“Draco, what exactly did you have to do?”
“It’s none of your business,” he snapped. The sudden switch of tone made Y/N start, but he was unwavering in his scowl. “I’d prefer to not think about it.”
“But...Draco…” Y/N cast her gaze to the ground so she didn’t have to see the no doubt furious look in his eyes when she continued to push. “How bad? Do you think that maybe whoever is after me might know that I don’t have the box anymore? And that they might be trying to seek revenge against you for whatever it was that you did instead?”
He didn’t respond.
“Think about it. That would explain why I was untouched this whole time that you were away when they were still keeping tabs on me.”
With a pronounced bonk, he set his mug down on the coffee table. “I’m going to bed.”
She managed to get one more look at his face before he spun around to head up the stairs and was shocked to see what was etched into his face--anger, yes, frustration...and also shame. Unmistakable shame.
final a/n: weeoooooooo i’m like 3 minutes early...this is a monumental moment for my blog. let me know what you guys think (if there’s still people sticking with this series fjkds;al). i am going to go back into my hole and work on some math hw (wonders of ohio y/n vibes...i have low key become her trying to roleplay as a stem girl). the plot is going to thicken and hopefully there will be more fluff soon. i honestly didn’t want to add the hug bc i do want this to be slow burn but it has come to my attention that this is now about 30k words long and i haven’t given y’all so much as an inkling that draco has feelings/anything will happen between them so i gotta give you something to hold you over fjdska;
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oingo233 · 4 years ago
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Rapture is a Boy (8)
Summary: Remus and you have always had a playful, loving relationship but his behavior around the full moon leads you to assume the worst. A huge fight ends with the two of you heartbroken. Will Remus reveal the truth behind his behavior?  And will you still love him afterwards or has he truly lost you forever?
Young Remus Lupin x Reader(neutral)
Warning: FLUFF, so much fluff you could drown in it, self-doubt (brief) 
Authors Note: This is the last part, which is crazy to me, I truly hope yall love it.  This series is dear to my heart because it has allowed me to meet and talk to you and so many other amazing people!  You all mean so much to me, and Remus is my lil baby too. I can’t even express how much I appreciate and love you all <3
Word Count: 5k
Part One - Part Two - Part Three - Part Four - Part Five - Part Six - Part Seven
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                                                    Part Eight
                                      ****A Stag, a Rat and a Dog***
Remus POV
“That was-” Peter couldn’t even finish his sentence, he just laughed, he laughed so loud it was hard not to join in with him.  James pat his back and nodded, wiping some of the blue glitter off on his shirt.
“Right, mate.” he agreed.  Sirius was bouncing in his spot, none of our smiles breaking or dimming. “Another notch under the belt of our legacy of awesome,” he all but sang, all of our cheeks still flushed from this morning. He hit Sirius’s arm and they began to race up the stairs, Peter and I followed, jogging after them.  “Lily loved it too!” he added, smiling even bigger at just the thought of her, he was beating Sirius.  
We all stopped running and Sirius was scowling, he lost, we all stood at the portrait when Sirius turned to me.  “Worked well on (Y/N) too,” he stated, smirking at me and making a sexual motion with his hips, James laughed and I pushed him. “Ew, your palms are sweaty.”
“We’ll excuse me, ABBA sweats no doubt after giving the performance of a life time.” I say while James says the word and the painting opens for us. “Besides, it has worked for now.  But they are still oblivious to the truth.  I might lose them all over again, once they know.”
The mood seemed to darken at this realization.  Not everyone is as understanding about my condition as the boys. That’s the real reason I couldn’t stop sweating, and if the boys looked close enough they’d see I couldn’t stop shaking ever so slightly too.  I just got (Y/N) back, I’m not sure how well I’d be able to cope with losing them a second, and final time.  My heart broke just at the thought, and at the very realization that I might have to prepare myself for such an outcome.
“Mate, (Y/N) is one of the people in this world that loves you most.  Besides us of course,” James smiled softly, trying to lighten the mood whenever he could, “I doubt, that anything could make them think differently of you.  You’re not just your condition.  You’re Remus feckin Lupin!” The other boys cheered in agreement as we stepped into our dorms, Peter even went as far as rubbing my shoulders to build up my confidence, he saw a trainer do it to a wrestler on muggle TV once.
“And we’ve got a romantic feckin plan!” Peter cheers, still excited about what is yet to happen. I swallow thickly once more, this day could be one of the best in a while, or the absolute worst.  I guess we’ll know tonight.  
“Yes, and are you guys sure you are okay with this?” I ask, for the fifth time.  James rolls his eyes, and Sirius bangs his head on the dorm room wall.  
“Yes, Moony.  Yes. Yes. Yes.  We are okay with this for the millionth time.  (Y/N) is our friend too, and all we want is to see the lot of ya happy again, so will ya shut up about it.  We already agreed, mate,” Sirius says, looking up just barely lifting his head from the wall.
“And we don’t like lying to (Y/N) either,” James says, Peter nods with each word falling from their lips, as he tugs on pants and grabs a new, not bedazzled, robe.
We were still talking and going over plans for tonight when we left for first period.  The common room was quite expect for our meshed whispers and loud footfalls, it wasn’t until the painting door swung open that we heard another sound.  An all too familiar sound.
Professor McGonagall cleared her throat before us.  Her hands folded in at her chest and her pointed eyes trained on us, unblinking.  We all swallowed thickly, our fear and respect for her almost overwhelmed our courage and friendliness towards her.  Almost.
“Did ya enjoy the concert, Minnie?  I was singing just for you.” Sirius said, smiling and trying not to laugh as her expression remained unmoving.  James joined in and I nearly rolled my eyes, but a smile found it’s way onto my lips nonetheless.
“Yeah, we saw ya a-tap-tap-tappy your toes!” He says, doing a little dance.  I was amazed by her ability to not even crack a smile at our enthusiasm, but then again, this was nothing new to her.  “ABBA gets to the best of us doesn’t it?”  As if on cue, Sirius was speaking again. I fought my smile and faked a sullen expression, fingers crossed behind my back, this was the part where one of us tried to weasel our way out of trouble.
“Exactly, our hearts were in it Professor, truly we had good reason and we weren’t hurting anyone.  Shame.  Just a shame Dumbledore gave us detention, any more severe punishment just wouldn’t make any sense.”  She raised a brow and in a last attempt I put in a word of my own.
“But you’re always so sensible Ms. McGonagall. I’m sure your punishment for us will be well-deserved.  Perhaps our outfits were too flashy?” Peter chuckles beside me, and shows her the inside of his robe.
“But this one isn’t at all. Ya see?” He shows her adamantly until she raises a hand and we are drowning in silence, she made us sweat in our palms and neck before speaking.
“Yes.  It appears your shenanigans are over.  But Lucy is still in the hospital wing scrubbing at her skin, the smell is pungent and unmoving.  It seems, Sirius,” She turns to face him, his adam apple bobs, “You did hurt someone.  The real shame is that you don’t seem bothered by that fact.  Follow me, boys.” She said, turning on us, her robes nearly swinging up and hitting our shins.  We follow wordlessly and with our heads down, her words bothered us a little, what really stung was the disappointment on her face and in her frown. (Though Sirius swears he heard her singing along).
She went to Peter’s class first, he went to follow her inside but she raised a hand and said “Oh, you won’t be going to class this morning, Mr.Pettigrew.” She excused Peter herself, whispering into the teachers ear.  My heart sank at the realization that I would not be seeing (Y/N) again this morning, James eyes me, my mood obviously changed.  I couldn’t even spend any time with them before tonight, our lunch would serve as detention as well. I might never get to see them again after tonight, couldn’t even enjoy this little time I have before the truth is out.  I won’t be able to be at peace until tonight or maybe even after, because who will love a monster?
For the rest of the morning we were locked in McGonagall’s empty classroom, writing out letters of apology to be given to Lucy in person later that day.  And attempting to come up with a charm or some potion that would reverse the long lasting affect of the Stink Bombs that we have created.  Wouldn’t be a marauders prank unless everything was well crafted, would it?  But now, our little spell seems to be our downfall.  Luckily, we found the right reversion potion, and it was taken to Madame Pom. immediately.  By the time we were allowed to leave, the bell for second period had just rang.
I sat through my classes with sweaty hands, and bouncing legs.  I agonized in the silence of detention about all that could go wrong, several times I re-debated whether I should really tell (Y/N) the truth, but it was clear that I needed too.  I have lied for too long, and it has cost me too much.  The truth will set me free...or at least I hope it will.  I sat through my very last classes feeling both sick, and determined.  Before we knew it, it was dinner time and James, Sirius, Peter and I snuck out of the castle for our final act of salvation.  Our last attempt to make things right.
Your POV
The ground was rocky and uneven below my feet, between the clumps of dirt and hidden rocks this trip to Hagrids hut felt more like a mountain climbing experience than anything else.  But my breathing was not ragged and exaggerated because of the walk, no, it was because ever since this morning my heart has been beating out of control.  I’ve been breathless and filled with both anxiety and warmth since Remus kissed my cheek and handed me this note.
Tonight will mark either the end or the fresh start of our relationship, of our friendship...of our love.  
My head is spinning as I stumble over a pumpkin root. What has he been hiding from me?  Is it something bad, or big, or maybe something he is just blowing way out of proportion?  What if the truth pulls us apart even more than the lies?
I shake my head in an attempt to free myself of this anxiety that swells in my stomach like a churning sea.  Whatever it is, I will face it with patience and love, but also self-respect.  I repeat this to myself until before I know it, I am at Hagrids hut.  The walls of his house seemed to mountain over me, it smelled strongly of firewhiskey, burning firewood,rich dirt and sweet pumpkins.  The smell did wonders in calming my mind, but I rather large frown makes its way onto my face as I look around.  There was absolutely no one in sight.
I cuss under my breath.  Maybe this is the wrong place.  Maybe Remus is late?  I chew at my bottom lip and take a few large steps around the hut, my eyes keep going back to analyze the trees of the forest.  The shadows of the forbidden forest seemed to reach for me.  It called for me.  As if it was a whirlpool sucking me in I stepped towards it, staring into the layers of dark, large trees.  
I held my breath as a bush by the very edge of the forest shook, rustling leaves and snapping twigs filled the brisk night air.  I shivered, whether it was from the cold or the sudden fear I was not sure, but I did not have time to debate my feelings because suddenly, a canopy of dark green vines, hanging from the trees shifted.  
Large, cream horns parted the vines and drooping tree leaves, a particular branch got stuck on the intricate swirling of the horns and snapped completely as the creature stepped further from the shadows, revealing itself to me. 
A beautiful Stag stood proud, it’s thick coat shone under the moonlight, it’s chest puffed out at me with pride.  The horns only added to it’s graceful height, but it’s eyes are what truly took my breath away.  Those round, warm eyes they were so human.  So familiar.  Before I could debate it any further, the Stag stamped it’s hoof in the dirt softly, it snorted and white air swirled around it’s soft face.  Only then did I notice the beautiful yellow rose, plucked from a bush and resting at it’s front legs.
I bring a shaky hand to my mouth, barely able to comprehended the wave of emotions that nearly knock me to my feet. This was of Remus’s doing.  But...how?  The Stag inclines it’s head curiously at me to the right, it’s large ears flicking with some sort of impatience, or unrest.  Only then did I fully seem to understand the familiarity of this creature.  
“James?” I gasp.  The Stag seems to stand even taller at me, and...smiles.  With my mouth still hanging wide open I let out a boisterous laugh.  “James!” I almost yell, the Stag snorts again and leans it’s head down, using his nose to push the rose towards me.  The movement doesn’t help me get over my shock, but it stirs me into action.  I begin to cautiously walk forwards, and as I do the Stag er, James, picks up the rose between it’s teeth, when I am close enough he softly nuzzles it into my hand.  I grip it tightly, it has already been de-thorned.
Carefully, with my free hand, I reach it out just a few inches in front of me and James places his Stag head onto my palm.  I pet him softly, he stares up at me and it was as if I was staring at James himself.
“You clever bastard!” I exclaim, I knew how hard becoming Animigus is, but why would he do such a thing?  I was broken out of my trance when the Stag (James) begins to walk, slowly at first, he looks back at me and inclines his head first and it was as if I could just hear him saying, in his cheeky manner ‘Ladies first, of course,”
I swallow thickly and fight another bout of paralyzing shock, and instead smile, following James through the forest.  His hoofs sinking softly into the ground, the sound was methodic and helped with the strange over pour of emotions I’m feeling.
What happened next, is actually quite embarrassing.  It started with a little scamper by my feet.�� Considering how far we’ve walked into the forest I was more than a bit concerned for my safety, but the large, strong Stag beside me cast most of my fears to the side.  Then, through a break of moonlight through the trees I saw it.  A large, fat rat!
I screamed so loud, dark ravens flew from their slumbers in the trees.  James beside me stomped his feet, and checked the perimeter with analyzing eyes, searching for the danger.  But they only found the rat.  I never thought a Stag could give such an amused, disappointed expression, yet here I stand.  Clinging to a deers ass for dear life, and he is looking back at me with said expression. My cheeks flush and I let go of his furry back, then the Rat very slowly inches towards me.  
It’s sharp nose lifting and dancing from side to side, it’s soft brown eyes sparkling up at me.  I’d say it even looked a little cute, friendly even.  But what unusual behavior, and what unusual eyes.  It’s tail glowing under the white light like a plump, pink worm...
“Wormtail!” I realize, laughter bubbling from my chest. The Rat lets out a gleeful squeak and James besides me snorts once again, seeming to laugh.  The Rat scurried off into the shadows, and I can’t help but berate myself.  Did I hurt his feelings?
But then he comes bounding back into sight, he stands on his back legs and his little Rat face seemed to glow with excitement as his pink hands unveiled a small little white wildflower.  The same kind Remus would pick for me on walks we took together. My smile only grows bigger as I do a sweet curtsey and pick up the flower mid-bow, lifting it up to my nose as I stand straight again.  
“My apologies, you know I don’t like rats.  But I suppose I’ll have to make an exception for you.” I smile down at him, and he reveals two yellow buck teeth, smiling up at me with as much of a smile any rat can muster.  I fail to hold in my laughter but extend my arm to him, he climbs up it and perches himself on my shoulder.  I hold the two flowers in one hand, and rest my other on James soft shoulder, so I can be led through the dark forest, I knew by know, they were leading me to Remus.
Peter climbs down my other arm and onto James back, then up his head.  I laugh as Peter holds on for deer(hehe I’m funny) life as James jokingly waves his head back and forth, Peter almost falls off but I help him back.  We all seem to laugh in our own ways, when suddenly a loud bark cuts through the sound of laughter and owls and even the rustling of the woods around us.  It was loud and impatient and yet humorous, it reminded me of someone I know well.  I smirk, raising a brow I turn to the equally amused Stag and Rat, James and Peter.
“Wormtail.  Prongs,” I say, motioning to the Stag who only inclines his head again, “And Padfoot.  Let me guess... Sirius is also some animal wandering these woods, finding us by chance?  A wolf, perhaps?  A dog?” They don’t say a thing, they only begin to walk again.  Turning us towards the sound of the echoing bark.
I was on the ground before I knew what was happening.  We’ve walked just a few more minutes and then a cloud of black overcame my sense and tackled me to the floor.  Black, Sirius Black, was a dog and on top of me.  He was barking right by my ear and cuddling me, it wasn’t until two little Rat hands attempted to push his leg that he got off.  
I was laughing uncontrollably, this was all too much.  Too crazy.  I knew they were geniuses, but this... becoming Animagus and though the reason was unclear I could feel it, something to do with Remus.  With Moony.  The nickname had a new meaning to me, and I wasn’t sure what yet, but I was sure I was about to find out.  
Sirius was racing around me in circles as I stood up.  His black tail wagging wildly, and his fur rustled and tossed under the wind.  I wanted to coo and awe, though his eyes were human and mischievous, the rest of him was adorable and strong.  A proud, handsome looking dog.  It was clear, by his behavior, that he was just as excited to reveal this big secret, as I was to know the truth.
“Sirius!  You dog,” I joke, a bad one on my part but he still barked with laughter and I shook my head, taking in the three of them.  This was, Merlin, I didn’t even know what this was other than beyond surprising and impressive.  Shocking.
Suddenly, Sirius makes one last dart behind me, he sends me in a spin and by the time I can control my footing he is back in front of me.  He is sitting on his back legs, front paws up in the air and bent in a cute trick, his ears flopped forward.  Just above his paws, drooping from the jaws of his mouth is a single daffodil.  Daffodils, like the one written about in this favorite poem of mine that Remus would read me on bad days, I Wandered Lonely as A Cloud by William Wordsworth.
I sigh, tilting my head to the left, a soft smile on my lips.  Everything about this was amazing and sweet.  It was amazing that the boys had this whole other life I never knew about, which I’m sure there will be a reasonable explanation for my ignorance because ouch.  But sweet, because this was obviously planned my Remus, but the boys were taking their own time to make it happen.  I bend down and pat Sirius’s head, the only time he lets me touch his hair, I think, almost laughing.  His tail wags as I pluck the flower from his mouth and he lets it fall easily into my hand.
I gather it with my other flowers, now forming a little bouquet and bring the whole lot of them up to my face and inhale. I close my eyes as I smell the sweet and powerful aromas, memories with Remus filled my head, and with it, a warmth filled my chest.  
“I hope this hasn’t been all too much for you.  I thought some truths would be better seen than told,” Remus says, walking up behind me.  I spin around, I didn’t even notice the sound of crunching leaves behind me. But I couldn’t find it in me to speak, the moonlight dancing across Remus’s face, highlighting his eyes, and the soft curves of his lips with the ragged lines of his scars, I was astounded by the boy before me.  Once again entranced.  All the anxiety, all the fear has left me, as I stared at him clad in fancy pants and a button up to match.  
He stops walking, unsure of where he stands with me.  I step towards him, finding some clearing in the haze I begin to speak.
“It’s wonderful.  They’re wonderful,” I say, turning with a thankful smile to the stag, the rat and the dog. They each in turn, show their teeth at me in an attempt of a smile.  I laugh and beside me, Remus does too.  With a nod of his head, they turn their backs on us and leave.  I no longer needed guidance or safety.  Remus stood before me and I felt something that has been missing for the past couple of days.  And even though I was in the middle of the dangerous, forbidden forest, I knew that I was also home.  
“I love the flowers. I must say, this night has already taken the most unexpected turn it could, but the nicknames definitely make more sense,” I attempt a bad joke, a habit of mine in a nerve wracking situation but Remus only seems to grimace slightly, before turning it into a smile, though it was a rather sad one.
“Well, you seem to be taking this well.  Have you figured out mine yet?” He asked, his sad tone surprising me. We were so close his voice dropped low just out of habit it seemed, and because the short distance between us put us in a trance.  I missed him.  I missed him so much my body now seemed to come back from the dead and reach for him, I was alive again with dancing butterflies and buzzing questions.  I glanced down to his lips, before taking a step back. 
“No.  But I can guess.  It makes sense, once every month you seem to leave me.  You change into someone who is distant, someone who doesn't seem to love me,” He steps forwards, looking pained by this realization, but as I speak it becomes clearer to me, but I can’t yet reach the conclusion.
“I will never become a person who doesn’t love you.  I will change and grow but you will be the one thing that remains.  You don’t have to guess anymore, but I want you to know that my love for you will always remain, even if after tonight, we do not,” he speaks with such reverence, like our love was something scared to him and deep down, I knew I felt the same way.  It is my first love, and if I can help it, than he will be my only lover until the day I die.  All I can do is nod as he steps forwards again, I can see a bead of sweat roll down the apple of his cheek, he was about to tell me.  I can feel the shaking of his hands as he places them in mine.
Suddenly, his unbreaking stare leaves me, and in place, find the bright moon.  Twinkling in the sky and illuminating us in its wake.  I understood in that moment, Moony.  A boy mapped with scars.  Moony.  A boy plagued by nightmares, and insecurities.  Moony.  A tough, but oh so scared boy who seemed to hate the very night itself.  Moony.  The boy who changes during the month, and is gone completely on the full moon.  Moony.  Moony, the Werewolf.
I pull on his hands and gather him into my embrace, pulling back only to kiss him sweetly.  The world becomes ours as our lips dance with one another to a song we’ve heard before.  It is the song of him making love to me.  It is the song of the poems he reads me and the flowers he picks.  It is the song of the moons very envy as she watches us together.  The song of lovers.  It moves us.  It moves my hands up his neck and through his hair.  It moves his lips across my cheek and jaw and then down my neck.  It moves the wind, and the trees around us.  It pulls the moans from our mouths and then the confessions.
“My beautiful love,” Remus kisses the words into my skin, up to my lips.  “My only love,” he mumbles into my lips, kissing me softly but his hands are bruising at my hips.  As if I would leave him if he did not hold me close enough and for forever.
“I love you, Remus ‘Moony’ Lupin.  I love all of you and all that you ever will be and all that you have been.” He pulls back from me, his eyes glazed with tears and a softness that makes my heart sing.  He nods, and than he laughs.  A tear falls from his eyes as his head leans back and he laughs, the sweetest sound I’ve ever heard.  It was as if all his anxiety, and self-hatred has left him and in their place my words have nestled in.  I love him.  I love him.  I love him.
“I’m a werewolf ya know?” he says, still laughing, he knew I made the connection.  At this point it was pre-caution, I roll my eyes and kiss him again.  The world is forgotten as we kiss, as we rejoin as one and as lovers.  I pull back and softly wipe away his tears.
“I know,” I whisper into his lips, he smiles, giving me a soft kiss.  “Why didn’t you tell me sooner, Remus?” I ask, pulling away from him.  He frowns now, his cheeks red with blush, and lips to match.
“I thought I’d lose you forever.  That you’d think I was some monster, or- or beast.  You always looked at me like I was the world, and I was terrified one day you’d see the real me, and just- well, stop loving me altogether.” While he speaks his eyes still glitter with the promise of tears, and my heart sinks at his words.
“I think I understand your anxiety about it.  I can’t imagine how hard it must be.  But I would never stop loving you for such a thing, merlin, I don’t think anything could stop me from loving you.  I never want you to feel the need to hide from me again, okay?” Remus nods into my hands, I still haven't moved them since I wiped away his tears, it seemed like more keeps falling each time.  
“The boys became Animigmus to help with my full moons.  It can get pretty bad… but ever since they have come along things really got better, really they did.” he adds when seeing my sad facial expression.  My heart felt broken all over again at just the thought of Remus being in pain, alone and suffering.  I swore in that moment, I’d do anything in this world to help make things better for him.  I nod my head.  He continues.
“And Lucy, her older sister is a werewolf.  She figured out that I was one pretty quickly, she said I could speak to her about it all, and that she could help somehow.  It was nothing more, she just let me complain and even write some letter to her sister.  I never even thought of Lucy like the way I think of you.  She was always just a friend, but that remains no more.  To hell with her,” he says.  He can’t stop smiling, a real, golden smile.  There was nothing holding him back, I could just tell he felt so much lighter.  I took his hand and wordlessly led him to sit on the grass with me.  We laid shoulder to shoulder, staring up at the stars together.  
He told me in depth about how he was bitten as a child, about how it changed his life.  Then when the boys told him they were becoming Animgus for him and all the little moments and adventures they’ve had since.  He didn’t sugar coat a thing, he didn’t lie.  He was bearing his soul before me for the first time, without any thin veil holding us back and I’ve never felt closer to him.  It was well past curfew by the time I felt satisfied with everything he’s told me, I felt both heavy with this knowledge and yet free.  I felt included and like I truly knew Remus, and I still did love him.  More than ever, I love him.
We laid in silence for some time, my head has moved to lay on his chest and I can hear the steady, warm beating of his heart.
“Can you hear it?” he asks, out of the blue.  I strain my ears to listen to the forest around us, I lift my head slightly and he laughs.  “No. My heart, can you hear it?” I lean back into him and let out a little laugh myself.
“Oh.  Yes,” I smile, “I can hear it.”
“Good.  It beats for you.”mhe says, I look up at him only to find that he has already been looking at me.  His eyes soft, and smile warm, his heart steady under the palm of my hand and loud within the stillness of the night.  It beats for you.  His words echoed in my head and I couldn’t help myself, I lean forward and press my lips against him.  I could kiss him forever.  I could be with him here like this forever, alone and in love, honest and unafraid. 
 I understood a lot of things that night, more than just about who Remus was and the secrets he has been hiding.  More than the truths that he bared and the love that we had. I understood how after all this time of separation and uncertainty.  After exhausting ourselves in a sea of sorrow and questions, we have finally found our peace.  I have found my happiness.  And I realized something rather important.  Rapture is a boy.  Rapture is love.
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akvtsuki-ari · 5 years ago
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Sweetheart (Ch.2)
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Warnings: smut!, choking, uhh insecuity maybe??, sub!spencer, dom!reader, talks of bdsm protocol
Length: 4.2k 
Authors Note: heyyy yall. i feel like i haven’t uploaded in DAYS idk why. another chapter of this fic bc i love it a lot but my next fic will be a dom!spence oneshot that i can’t get out of my head lol. this chapter is kinda open conversation
Plot Summary: Spencer can’t stop thinking of you but he’s too nervous to do anything about it. You’ve got doubts that only he can fix and he has questions only you can answer. Spencer really likes being choked, apparently. 
Ch. 1
Look at you baby, your lashes are so long, aren't they? Such a pretty boy," your voice rings out softly in Spencer's ears. A light sheen of sweat coats his chest as he feels your fingers around his dick, his throat caught - words disappearing from him.
"Fuck - please, Miss I'm gonna -," Spencer's voice is broken when he feels an orgasm wash over him.
Then of course, Spencer wakes up. Sunlight hitting his eyes as he blinks himself awake. He can feel it in his pajama pants, still not having registered the content of his dream before he looks down to see the massive mess. It's managed to happen a 3rd time, and its only been a week. Spencer shuts his eye in disdain as he stands up, pulling his pants off and tossing them in a hamper before he heads into the shower.
Spencer hates cold showers, he remember this fact as the water beats down on his back as he washes himself up. He washes his hair while he tries to compartmentalize the situation.
Like Spencer mentions, it's the 3rd time he's had a dream that wakes him up in such a pleasant way. You two had been dating for 2 ish months now, but Spencer chokes everytime you try and take things further. You never give him shit for it, which is more than relieving to him. You always reassure him that the two of you can take your time and that it's okay if he doesn't want it right away.
You were an angel, he knew that for sure but Spencer did want it. He was just, well - as nervous as a person could be. He still hasn't really talked to you about any of that, not about how it would work the first time the two of you did.. it. He didn't even know if you still wanted that - he'd been too petrified to ask if you still wanted to dominate him or if maybe that'd change now that you actually knew him. He didn't even know how to bring it up, or if there was a time for him to do just that. The whole thing filled him with such intense anxiety, he just didn't bring it up at all.
But, he wants to go further with you. He likes you so fucking much - of course he wanted to go further with you. He figured you knew that.
You didn't, really. You figured Spencer found you unattractive to some extent so he just kept putting off sleeping with you. It felt like a juvenile insecurity to have but well - he always reacts so poorly anytime you take this further. You knew he was anxious but there was always that self-loathing voice that told you that it was your fault, that he just didn't find you attractive enough. You pretended it didn't hurt since you like him so much, but it was starting to take it's toll.
On both ends, it was a fucking mess. Neither of you really knew why it was a mess for the other person, but it sure was one.
Spencer gets out of the shower when he hears a knock on the door. His eyes flit up to his analog clock on the wall, you were here right in time, Spencer thinks. He throws on an oversized sweater and some jeans that you bought for him. He liked them but he only really wore them cause you like them so much.
Spencer can't help the butterflies that fill his stomach when he sees you. Your eyes are dolled up in this pretty dark eye shadow, and red lipstick. You're pretty, dark and pretty but still pretty. The makeup was just new. Spencer feels like he's choking as he looks at your smiling expression Spencer shuts the door behind you as he lets you in.
"You ready to get brunch?," you ask Spencer. He dries his hair off and finds something to style it with as he walks back into the bathroom. All stuff that's new that you've introduced him too. He likes using the stuff that you told him to use though cause it makes his hair look less greasy.
"Yeah, but we've got some time before then - right?," Spencer ask. You smile and nod your head as you walk up behind Spencer, wrapping your arms around his waist. He feels small - your actual size unimportant to the way you make him feel. You pat his sweater down, hands dangerously close to his waist as you look at him, eyes gleaming. You give him a small grin when you peak over, as Spencer's eyes meet yours in a small blush. Your hands find themselves underneath his sweater, brushing his waist as you sway into him. Spencer focuses so much on doing his hair, just trying not to get hard.
"What should we do in that time?," you ask, mostly to yourself. You know Spencer probably won't do what you were thinking of doing. Spencer just blushes before shrugging, finished fixing up his hair as he moves away from your touch. You're a little hurt, not tryng to let it show as he walks back out into his living room, you following suit.
"I think they're playing some animal planet re-reruns," Spencer suggests. You give Spencer a small, half-hearted smile.
"Yeah sure," you say softly. You don't mean to be disappointed because you really do respect Spencer boundaries. You don't ever wanna do something that he's not a 100% down for and you just like him so much it doesn't matter. You had to admit though - god, you wanted to fuck his brains out and the fact that he may not return those feelings hurt a little more than your ego wanted to admit. Spencer seems to sense your disheartened demeanor, and with trying to ignore his immediate panic he looks over to you as you lean into him on the couch. He moves away from you for a few moments to look at you, and you turn to him confused.
"Are you okay?," Spencer asks concern. You give him a small smile and nod, taking his hands in yours and playing with his fingers. Spencer looks at you for a while longer before you begin to talk.
"It's nothing serious - it's kinda silly actually, so we don't -,"
"Hey," Spencer pauses. You look up at him, his eyes so full of concern. You can't help the way your heart melts, leaning up to meet Spencer's lips for a second. You look at the clock, still a good hour before the two of you have your plans. You sigh, looking down into your lap before you speak.
"I just wanna say first, that I totally respect any and all of your boundaries regarding sex - and I would never, ever pressure you into something you don't wanna do," you say slowly. Spencers nerves crawl up his back but he waits for you to continue.
"But uhm, well - I don't know, I guess I just wanna know if you still, well or if you ever wanted to sleep with me. Like ah, you know, maybe you found me unattractive. I mean, I get it - I guess I'd uhm, just wanna know beforehand," you trail off, unsure of how to say your comments. Spencers a little incredulous - did you genuinely think the reason he'd been avoiding sex was because you weren't attractive to him? Spencer just shakes his head violently, wanting to say so much but not wanting to scare you away with his words.
"Well, uhm - no it's not that at all. I think you're super attractive, and I defintely want to.. you know - with you I mean," Spencer starts, feeling the way your hand tightens around his instinctevely. This the most vunerable you've been with Spencer in your relationship so he wants to make sure you know how much he cares
"I have dreams about it, like all the time recently. I really like you, and I really do think you're very beautiful, I guess I'm just - nervous, you know? I don't know what to do, especially since we've never done that before and we met under such.. interesting circumstances. I don't know how to approach it,"
"You have wet dreams about me?," you say, a little too excited for your own good. Spencer blushes before nodding.
"Huh, I just openly admitted that didn't I? To answer your question, yes - I had one before you came over," Spencer remembers. You give him a cheeky grin and he hides his face in his head, groaning. You only laugh, pull them away before kissing his knuckles. You were more than pleased to hear this info. You stand and sit down in Spencers lap, hands on the side of his face. He gives you a small, gentle smile.
"It's okay if you're not ready to talk about sex at all, but it may help if we cover general BDSM code and standard. Nothing has to be decided or talked about if you don't want, but maybe just going over it will ease your mind up," you say softly to Spencer. His nerves settles as you continue to reassure him - your behavior is so perfectly soothing. The hand on his back, the softness in your voice and your reassurance, Spencer knew you were experienced but he was still impressed. Spencer just nods, letting you pepper kisses all over his face that made his expression scrunch up. Cute. Spencer was so cute.
"Yeah, that sounds good," Spencer manages to push out. You give him a warm smile. You move away to sit next to him, still maintaining physical contact but clearly becoming more serious.
"The most important thing to know is that everyone practices BDSM differently. There are two common standard procedures that people use, however - safe, sane, and consensual is the most common. It's just saying that both parties are participating in something that is just as it implies, and it prioritizes safety. Knowing you, I'm sure you've read up on most of this, but it doesn't hurt to explain," you say softly. Spencer nods, he did already know a lot of what you were talking about.
"The other is 'Risk-Aware Consensual Kink,' which is where both parties are participating in something they knew could have consequences that are harmful. In both situations - both parties need to be aware and understand the lengths of whatever they're participating in. It's the core of all BDSM practice, and since this is all new for you - let me be clear that your safety and sanity come first to me always. BDSM is a psychological thing at heart so making sure you're okay is firs priority," you clarify. Spencer is in awe by how.. well-spoken you were about it. He knew you were experienced but it was more than you let on. Spencer just nods, unsure of what to say.
"You've actually done this before, but the same goes for me - you know," Spencer adds. You give him a sweet kiss which he returns.
"Thank you, love. With all that, the way you assure someone's safety is obviously having discussions about limits but also by developing a safeword and system to make sure that a scene can stop at any point. It's especially important to make sure that those words are a out of place. You shouldn't use words like "Stop," or "No," as safewords because in some peoples play they refuse something as a part of foreplay or a part of the scene. Maybe a submissive whose being bratty is refusing something but they're okay with it happening - thats when a safeword can come in. If a partner at any point wants to tap out, they use that word," you explain.
Spencer nods in understanding, he didn't even think about people using those words for the purposes of foreplay or whatever else. He gives you a curious look, as you lean back. Instinctively, Spencer moves himself to lay his head on your lap which you'd sorta pavloved onto him. You'd always pat your lap when you wanted Spencer to do it, and at first it was so embarrassing but you'd do it so much he just sorta got used to it. You run your hands through his hair, the other one on his chest. His face is a little hot.
"For me, I like the stoplight system - Red meaning stop completely, yellow meaning slow down and let's talk about this, and green meaning go, I'm totally down for this. I like that system because it's a lot easier to get a sense of how the other person wants the scene to go, and if I want to try something, I can ask my submissive 'Color?,' and they can respond however they like. If they say yellow, I can break character and ask them whats up which can give them some real reassurance. Every submissive is different, but this sytem is really universal and easy to keep up with, " you say lovingly, patting Spencers chest rhythmically. You look down at his expression with serious eyes.
"Listen to me carefully when I say this my love - if we participate in a scene and there is a single doubt about what's happening, you use one of your safewords no questions asked. Using your words with me or any other signals may discuss is so important and it doesn't make you a bad submissive - okay? We are equals, always. Even if you want me to step on you, or call you pathetic - we are still equals and always will be, okay pretty boy?," you say in a stern, but loving voice. Spencer just nods, softly - so far he doesn't have many questions though he's sure that'll change at some point. Spencer nods, leaning his face into your hand as you cup his cheek. You lean down and place a kiss on his lips.
"I know I've been talking a lot, but lemme hear your thoughts, yeah? Anything," you ask Spencer.
"It's weird - I've done so much research on safe BDSM practices and understand all this stuff in theory but it seems so different in practice," Spencer comments lightly. You nod, letting him continue.
"One thing that I did notice was that you use If/When scenarios about you dominating me and I wasn't really sure what that was about. We are girlfriend and boyfriend, doesn't that sorta just imply you are my dom?," Spencer asks. You give him a pat on the chest before you go into explanation.
"It certainly helps that we're dating but you and your submission is something to be earned. We've never discussed in length until today, but of course - I was hoping that you'd want that from me. It's really just like an everyday relationship, but a lot more involved in trust and respect. We have a strong romantic connection which is really lovely, because it builds a lot of that trust and respect that you need to practice BDSM healthily and safely. I wanna lead you so I can see you grow, and hopefully, you wanna submit to me out of respect - those sorts of things,"  you say, playing with Spencer's hands. Spencer just nods, looking up at you.
"Will you be my dom, then? I want you to be. I don't think I could really imagine it being anyone else," Spencer asks out of the blue. You weren't expecting the question so suddenly, or the way your heart rips through your chest hearing it. It's so simple and innocent when Spencer asks.
"I mean, I'd love too but are you really sure? I mean -," you try to think of a reason for Spencer to say no but you really cant. Spencer just smiles at you, sitting up to look at you completely.
"I trust you so much because I know you'd never do anything to hurt me on purpose - I mean unless I asked but, you know what I mean. I'm more sure than I was about asking you to be my girlfriend because you're just a trustworthy person. You're smart and kind and lovely all around. I know I'm new to this but theres no one I trust more than you to teach me. I really like you," Spencer says warmly. You wrap your arms around him, avoiding the tears in your eyes. Spencer is so sweet, reassuring by nature and it makes your heart yearn.
"Well, then - yes, I'd love to be your dom. And to answer your question about what we do for the first time, it'll be rather purely vanilla. No hijinks, just regular sex - since it's your first time partaking in BDSM with someone else, we gotta go really slowly so you don't have to worry. It might make you a little impatient but have faith in the process," you explain softly. Spencer is relishing in the fact that you know so much - you seem to have such a tight grasp on what you were doing he had no urges to question you. You lead so naturally, you don't demand anything from him but still, Spencer follows you. Spencer would follow you into the darkness if you kept speaking to him like that.
"We'll discuss things slowly and we'll make it really easy, okay? Once I get to know you a little more in bed, we can plan and talk about our first scene. It takes time to figure this stuff out, you know," You play with Spencers hair as you look over to the clock. 27 ish minutes before you two went out for brunch. Spencer sits up, face flush as he opens his mouth to try and ask you for what he wanted - now that he knew what was on the table his mind was thinking of everything he was missing. All the touches he was aching for you to give him. Spencers eyes were a little lost as he tries to explain to you.
"Can we -? I mean, would you, you know - uhm," Spencer voice can't get the words out. You give Spencer a small smile as he leans back into the couch. You pull your dress up, straddling Spencer's lap, and Spencer's throat dries up. He can't speak as he feels your heat up against his jeans. He's hard nearly immediately, a painful feeling for his dick up against the tight denim. Spencer stares up at you startled, a playful smile on your face. You place your hands on Spencers chest, feeling him up before settling your hands on the side of his face base of his neck. You lean in slowly, breath brushing Spencers ears as he heart pounds against his chest. His body felt a little out of control, and you just seemed to be so comfortable Spencer didn't know how to deal. He's so aware of the where your fingers seem to linger around his neck - he wants to blurt out "Choke me, please," but the words seems to disappear when he opens his mouth.
"You want me to touch you, Spencer?," you ask softly. Spencer nods violently and you can't help but laugh, maintaining eye contact for a few agonizing seconds. You lean in to kiss Spencer as your hands work the zipper of his jeans, your fingers making indirect contact with Spencer's cock. He whines aloud - he's sensitive, apparently. You can't help your pleased reaction as you pull his erection of his boxers - the tip is swollen, you can feel it ache under your touch. Spencer's eyes roll up in the back of his head, despite you having barely done anything for him at all.
"How fast do you think you can get off, baby?,"
Baby. Fuck, Spencer liked when you called him that. It was so natural to you, and Spencer just sighs.
"Fast," Spencer admits, a little embarrassed. He'd never needed to cum that quickly before in his life, yet here you were making him feel like he'd break at any second if you touch him too long. He was an adult but the thought of having sex with his girlfriend made him feel like he was gonna fucking combust.
"I cum first today, hope that's okay with you," you tell Spencer warmly. He gives you a nod, he's more than okay with that. You guide his wrist under your dress, feeling his hands palm through your panties. You moan quietly, and Spencers pleased with himself. It's hard for you to not just tell him to lay back so you can sit on his face - because god did you wanna do that.
"You lead the way," you joke to Spencer, more just telling him that he has permission to do his thing. Spencer just nods, as you lean into his neck to bite hickies into it. Spencers hands are careful with you, two fingers pressed against your clit as he rubs circular motions, his other hand holding your waist steady.
"A little faster, love," you ask Spencer. He just nods as he hears your voice, soft sighs falling from your lips as you feel your orgasm build in your core. Spencer likes you so much, he's so eager to please you in every way so when you finally reach your orgasm, Spencer doesn't hesitate on letting you ride out your high. His dick is pulsating against your thigh, as you finish up and flutter your eyes open to look at him. Spencer gives you a small smile, eyes looking for your approval as you give him a lazy smile.
Spencer watches you pick your bag up from the couch, laughing as he sees you pull out a condom. He gives you a look of surprise and you just shrug, rolling it on for him.
Your lipsticks mostly on but smudged a bit as you kiss Spencer, lifting your hips up before settling back around Spencer's cock. You feel so good around him, the feeling of your lingering orgasm gripping him tight makes him choke. You ride Spencer with ease, hands around the base of his neck. Fuck - Spencer wants you to choke him so bad.
"Choke me, please," Spencer spits out. You give Spencer a look.
"Are you sure, love?,"
Spencer strains for a second, feeling his orgasm coming at him full speed before squeezing out another "please". You debate for a second, but you figure non-kinky couples do this all the time and you tighten your hands around the base of his neck.
Spencer relishes the way the air leaves his lungs and doesn't return. He loves the way you look at him when you do it, the way you adore how much he's under control. He tries to calm down but before he can think, his orgasm shoots up his spine as he looks at you pleadingly. You purposefully clench around him and Spencer's leg twitches underneath you. Your grip on his neck releases immediately and he misses the feeling of you around his neck, cumming into the condom with a heavy sigh.
"I really like you," Spencer breathes out as you cum. You bubble up with laughter as you kiss his cheek, a little red pair of lips sitting on it. He goes to wipe it off but you stop his hand, grabbing his wrist.
"Leave it," you say, an edge to your voice. Spencer can't help but nod, touching it carefully as you slip off of him. You pull off the condom for Spencer, throwing it in the trashcan of his bathroom before heading to his bathroom with your bad. Spencer follows suit, wiping himself clean with a wet-wipe before tucking himself back into his jeans. Spencer watches you fix your makeup in the mirror, as he clings onto you in the mirror.  You turn to him, wetting your lips before kissing that same spot, then using your little brush to put powder on it. You smile, leaning up to kiss him on the lips. He wraps his arms around your waist instinctively.
"Now it'll stay put. And, I really like you too," you say, rubbing his back as he hugs you. He may have been tall but he clings to you like a big baby. It was so damn endearing.
Spencer's heart beats so loudly in his chest. You were so lovely, you smelled good, and tasted nice and were so sweet to Spencer. Spencer liked you so fucking much, he just wanted to stay like this forever and the best part was you liked Spencer too. The way you rubbed his back, soothing him and humming as you gave him the affection he always dreamed of made him feel more happy than he could imagine. When he pulls away and you look at him, you place your hands on the side of his face and smile.
"You're so pretty, doc," you say. Doc - you only called him that when you felt affectionate. Spencer blushes.
"So are you,"
If you two didn't have a brunch reservation, Spencer was sure the two of you would stay like this forever. Not that he really minded, anyway.
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hollyxqx · 5 years ago
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ALWAYS  :  NAMJOON  :  EPILOGUE
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↪ PAIRING: Kim Namjoon x Reader ↪ GENRE: idol!au | ex’s to lovers | angst | smut ↪ SUMMARY: the story of how almost divorced, disgraced idol kim namjoon tries to put his life back the way it was after the world found out he was married and had a kid. ↪ WORD COUNT: 6k
↪ WARNINGS: angst angst angst, smut, nj has a mild pregnancy kink, oc body shames themselves a lot, milddddd drug references, tooth-rotting fluff
a/n: sorry this was delayed but here it is! thank you for being so patient and i really hope yall enjoy/are satisfied with the ending . my ask is always open if you have any questions or comments :):)
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ONE  :  TWO  :  EPILOGUE
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By day number four of avoiding Namjoon you knew it was time to relent and at the very least speak to him. Days one through three were spent using your mom's house as a temporary hideout. You knew there was a million questions whirring around in her head at your surprise visit, but you kept quiet, merely stating you wanted a break. She had given you the kind of look that was equal parts disapproving and disappointed, in only the way a mother could combine those expressions. It made you wonder if you made that face too.
Namjoon had called and texted everyday, each time begging you to talk to him. Your fingers would itch over the messages, tempted to just give in. You hated this as much as he did. After finally, finally, getting what you'd wanted for years -  your family whole - it felt like it was slipping through your fingers again.
It was a loss you weren't sure if you could endure again.
Siwoo sat happily on his play mat, toy car in hand while you kept a careful watch on him. He had a tendency to put things in his mouth that didn't belong there, so you made sure to pay attention.
You were extra thankful for him as of late, your ray of sunshine in these dark few days. Though, when he went to bed in the evenings everything hit you the hardest, raw and painful. You'd had such little sleep in the last few days it was a miracle you were functioning as well as you were. Months of sleepless nights when Siwoo was a newborn had trained you well, you supposed.
The tea in your mug had gone cold and it tasted as bitter as you felt. You had gone back and forth several thousand times about whether you were over-reacting or not. The initial knee jerk reaction you have is to run when things get difficult. You'd been that way your entire life, often times to your detriment.
Over the course of your entire relationship with Namjoon that had been a recurring issue. Every argument, every fight, squabble, disagreement or otherwise, you were the one that bailed. The one that needed time to cool off. Which ultimately led to you filing for divorce in the end. Maybe it was time to confront your issues instead of running away from them.
The doorbell rang exactly at four p.m, signalling Namjoon had arrived. He knew the passcode and could easily enter if he so much as wanted to, having done so for the last few months. But you knew Namjoon. This was a way of showing you some respect, showing you he was giving you your space and would wait for you to come to him when you were ready. The same pattern as always.
With a heavy heart you trudge to the door, nursing your still cold tea. When you open the door Namjoon stood on the other side, looking as awful as you felt. "Hi." He said quietly, rubbing a sheepish hand over his unshaven face.
"Hi."
You step to the side, allowing him to cross the threshold into the apartment. A surprised, hesitant look crossed his face but he stepped inside regardless.
"Siwoo is in the living room." You told him, straight to the point. He nodded. After all, that was the reason he was here. You were forced out of your silence because you'd never keep his child from him, no matter how bad things got between you.
You hung back in the kitchen and busied yourself with making another cup of tea that you didn't particularly want. It was just an excuse to hide and you knew it. Coward that you were.
You could hear Siwoo's delight at seeing Namjoon as you waited for the kettle and it made your heart ache. He had missed his dad, having been used to his presence much more. The guilt it caused you plagued you constantly, since you were the reason for the separation.
Namjoon appeared in the kitchen a few moments later, Siwoo perched on his hip. A small smile escaped you at the grin on your son's face as his tiny head rested against Namjoon's chest. He still clutched the toy car.
"I'm all set to go." Namjoon announced. He shifted somewhat awkwardly. "Unless you want to..."
"Not yet." You didn't know exactly what he had in mind but you weren't ready for that talk at this moment in time.
He nodded, looking disappointed. "Will I still see you on Sunday?"
"Yeah, why wouldn't you? You're not keeping Siwoo forever." You knew instantly what you said had been far too harsh and definitely out of line. Namjoon's face flashed with pain. "I don't mean it like it that - " You attempted to explain that you weren't infact referring to your son as an object but you were cut off.
"I thought you might send your mom or Jess or anyone else in the world to do it." He informed you.
"It'll be me on Sunday, Namjoon."
"Can we have dinner then? If not for me, for Siwoo." He asked expectantly. You didn't have the heart to refuse him again, not when he looked at you with that desperate longing in his eyes.
"Okay. Dinner, then."
*** Standing outside Namjoon's extravagant house two days later you felt sick, absolutely sick to your stomach, throw up in a hedge nauseous. The combination of nerves, the secret pregnancy and the fact that the last time you were here was one of the worst days of your life had bile creeping up your throat.
When Namjoon finally answered the door, you hurried past him to the bathroom, muttering something about needing to pee. He could only watch you with a bewildered expression, clearly he'd expected a repeat of the awkward interchange from the other day.
You made it to the toilet just in time, praying he didn't hear the sound of you heaving your guts out over the porcelain. As you borrowed some of his mouthwash and cleaned your hands you debated what lie to feed him. Thankfully it wasn't the morning so you hoped you'd be able to get away with food poisoning as your excuse.
You returned to a worried Namjoon. "Are you ok? I heard you throw up." He asked, concerned.
"Yeah, I think I've just got food poisoning."
He stared at you curiously for a beat. "Do you want to lie down before dinner? It won't be ready for another 45 and I'd rather you felt alright."
You shook your head no. "Thanks Joonie, but I'm okay."
His expression softened at your use of his nickname, he hadn't heard it in a while. You didn't intend to use it but it slipped out so naturally. Especially when he was concerned about you.
The kitchen smelled incredible as you entered. Namjoon didn't cook often being the clumsy chef that he was, opting for takeout usually, sometimes multiple times a day. "What are you making? It smells good. Hi boop." You gave Siwoo a cuddle from behind as he sat in his high chair. He squealed with joy in your arms. "Mommy missed you."
"Lamb curry." Namjoon stated. "And just plain pasta for the kiddo."
"And how much has Seokjin helped you with all this?" You couldn't help but tease. Namjoon smirked.
"Alot." He turned away from you to fuss with the pot on the stove. "I wanted to do something nice for you. Figured you'd appreciate the effort."
You made a non-committal noise as you slotted yourself into the chair next to your child, still feeling a little queasy. It was silent until Siwoo's food was ready when Namjoon offered to feed him for you, but you declined. You were happy to do it. He could mostly feed himself anyway but sometimes needed a little help.
With nothing more to do for the time being Namjoon sat opposite you. You could feel his eyes on you but you deliberately kept your own on Siwoo. "What did you boys get up to then?" You murmured, trying to get Siwoo to eat with his small cutlery and not his hands. "The food is hot Siwoo, use this."
"Nothing too exciting. Mostly swimming, I've got the pool up and running again. That kid is a water baby through and through."
You nodded in agreement, having witnessed it first hand yourself. Ever since he figured out what water was you could barely keep him away from it, essentially making bath time a messy affair. "He especially loves your pool since you got that slide."
"I did it for him."
"I know."
Namjoon stood after a while and went to the cupboard, taking out two wine glasses. He placed one in front of where you sat, setting the other at his side of the table. "I got your favourite sauvigon blanc. The one from the top shelf." He mumbled, corking open the bottle he'd grabbed. "Here."
He began pouring you a glass. "Oh no, no thanks, I'm not dri - Siwoo don't throw your pasta."
Namjoon stopped mid pour, raising his eyebrow at you, ignoring the macaroni that hit the floor. "No wine?"
"My stomach still doesn't feel right." You lied, giving him an apologetic look. "Better avoid the alcohol."
"That's not like you." He paused giving you a curious look. "Is everything okay?"
"Yes, I'm fine. I just don't want to drink. I'll be driving again soon anyway."
He didn't know that you physically could not and would not touch alcohol due to tiny life that was growing inside you. The tiny life you still didn't know what the fuck you were going to about. Your stomach flipped anxiously.
"Okay." He said staring at you for a little too long. He swapped your slightly filled glass with his empty one. Namjoon poured sparkling water in yours in lieu of the wine. You knew he knew you were lying about something, but he said nothing, still on emotionally shaky ground with you. You wondered if he had anticipated you staying the night to offer you alcohol.
When Siwoo had finished eating and all the pasta had been cleaned from the floor you put him down for a nap. It was cute how sleepy he always got after food and it was nearing his bedtime anyway, heavy eyelids drooping as he sipped on water.
The only evidence that Namjoon even had a child was Siwoo's bedroom, the rest of the house looked like it belonged to a bachelor. As you walked through the vast space you found yourself getting somewhat irrationally angry about the fact. No wonder that girl felt so comfortable here. You found yourself scowling when you sat back at the dining table.
"What?" Namjoon asked, sensing instantly the shift in your mood.
"Nothing."
"Liar."
"You're one to talk." You shot back. He sighed.
"Don't be like this just because Siwoo isn't here. Can't we keep being civil?"
"Fine." You mumbled.
He dished the food and you ate in stony silence. The sound of the cutlery scraping on the plates soon became deafening to you, grating on you and worsening your mood. Namjoon had asked you to be civil but that girl hadn't been to you, or to him for that matter and that was the only thing on your mind as you ate. The hormones raging through your body were certainly making you more quick to anger than usual.
"Is it okay?" Namjoon asked, pointing to your plate with a fork. "The food."
"Perfect, thank you." You replied. He looked crestfallen at your curt reply.
"Can we talk properly tonight jagi?" He asked.
"Don't call me that." Instantly you were transported back to the night when this mess started, the night you slept together for the first since breaking up. You'd had almost that exact exchange, although it was a playful one and didn't have the sombre atmosphere his kitchen had.
"All I really need is for you to listen." He sighed. "Can you do that for me?"
You owed it to him at least. "Alright."
He inhaled a deep breath before releasing it slowly, as if he was unsure where to begin. "I didn't cheat on you. I wasn't lying about that. If you take anything away from this conversation, please let it be that." His gaze was so intense you couldn't help but believe him.
"Did she kiss you that day?"
"Yeah." He looked down with a grimace. "I didn't initiate anything, she lunged at me. It was an attack."
"She called you Joonie."
That caught his attention and he looked at you in surprise, eyebrows shooting towards his hairline. "That bothered you?" You nodded.
"It didn't feel like a casual hookup, Namjoon. She seemed very familiar with you. She was in your home calling you what me - your wife - calls you." You voice got higher the more emotional you got, tears burning your eyes. Namjoon shushed you gently, telling you to calm down. "And then there was the other girl from the pictures. What do you do to these women to make them think this behaviour is ok?"
Namjoon gave you an infuriatingly blank look. "That was the girl I was papped with."
"No it wasn't." You sniffed.
"Baby," He huffed an incredulous but humourless laugh. "I promise you. Crazy girl from the photos is crazy girl that was here. Those pictures were dark, you probably just didn't recognise her."
"Why does she keep showing up?"
"We did hook up, but once a long time ago. I made the mistake of taking her home. I saw her once after that, but we didn't have sex. Other stuff happened, I won't lie."
You felt uncomfortable, hot, prickly jealousy constricting in your chest. "I don't need details."
"I don't really remember it to be honest. I was wasted." He explained further. "She turned out to be a big fan of mine and was - is - having a hard time dealing with the fact that I don't want her. That's it. That's the story. I swear."
You searched his eyes with your own for a few moments and he held your steely gaze.
"You could get a restraining order." You grumbled.
"They're not as easy to get as you think."
You crossed your arms and looked away. Although you believed every word he said you still weren't happy. Maybe it would take more than a conversation this time.
"Anything else you want to know, just ask." Namjoon told you softly. His hand twitched on the table and you could tell he wanted to reach for yours. "I'm an open book."
You knew exactly what was niggling at your conscious. "What else have you lied about?"
He paused for a moment and your heart dropped, anticipating the absolute worst. "I once jerked off to a picture of your feet."
Your scandalized expression was enough to have him laughing, easing some of the tension in the room. "I'm serious!" You scolded.
"So am I." He smirked and you rolled your eyes. "I'm sorry baby, I just wanted to see you smile."
"You're ridiculous."
He stood and walked round the table, taking your hand in his forcing you to stand. He pulled you into a hug and your arms automatically wrapped around his waist. "Am I forgiven?" He mumbled into your hair.
"No." You said but your body contradicted your words, melting even further in to him. "I'm still angry at you for lying and nearly dying of an overdose too. It's scary to think you can keep such things from me. I'm waiting for the next lie now Joonie."
He squeezed you tighter. "I understand, I do, but does a tiny part of you not see why I would hide those things from you? It was to stop you from getting hurt."
"I guess."  You know he has a point and you do feel better for having this talk with him but jumping back to fully trusting him feels frightening. You hate being vulnerable and right now, that's what you are.
"All I want is for us to be together, and whatever you need me to do to get us there, I'll do it." He said with strong conviction.
You surprised him by standing on your tiptoes and pecking his lips, his eyes remained open in shock. "You're a good man, Namjoon. I'm lucky I have you." He smiled. "But if you ever lie to me again, I swear to god I'm done."
"Never." He swore.
***
It took three more nights of intense conversations with Namjoon before your relationship started to return to normal. Getting everything out in the open was a little painful for your both but once everything that had happened during your separation was no longer shrouded in darkness, you felt better. You both did.
Namjoon had bravely opened up about how he struggled with pills and drugs. You'd learned he'd been partying a scary amount and that's where he met 'crazy girl'. Apparently she was a big party girl and drug user herself, which made sense, considering her erratic behaviour. She was an amateur model and had access to a lot of free drugs, so Namjoon was unfortunately drawn to her.
It wasn't exactly easy nor fun to hear about the women that he'd been with. It was with an embarrassed flush to his cheeks that he admitted a lot of his hook ups had been a blur of nameless faces. He wasn't proud of it, he'd never been a guy who fucked around, even before you met.
You were surprised to learn he'd spent time in rehab. Mostly it was just therapy but it allowed him to be in a better state mentally and therefore able to cope. Namjoon had got teary when you told him that you were proud of him. It wasn't easier to better yourself and succeed. He told you it was all for Siwoo and you understood that fierce protective desire completely.
During the third night, when you lay in Namjoon's bed, each on your side and facing each other you realised it was time to come clean about your secret now. You squeezed your entwined hands that lay on the pillow between your heads. "Namjoon, in the spirit of being honest...I need to tell you something."
"What is it jagi?" His brow furrowed at your tone.
You gulped. "I'm pregnant." He was silent and his expression never changed, which immediately worried you. "I'm sorry I didn't say anything sooner but I was going to do something cute by just giving you the sonogram instead of doing it in this lame way, but -
" - That's amazing." He interrupted your nervous rambling. A grin started to spread on his face.
"Really?" You asked cautiously.
"Are you joking? It's fucking great news!" He exclaimed. Namjoon let go of your hand and quickly placed his large palm on your lower stomach. "How far along?"
"Only 9 weeks." You playfully shoved his hand off of you. "You won't be able to feel anything yet." You laughed.
"I'm excited. I knew something was up when you weren't drinking and throwing up." He admitted. "It's going to be so different this time round. So much less stress and worry. We can actually enjoy your pregnancy."
"I'm excited that you're excited." You said. "I was scared to tell you. After everything we went through..."
"It's going to be different this time." He repeated. He kissed you passionately, lips crashing against yours as if he was trying to show you just how much he meant his words. Arms snaked around your torso as he held you close. "We're going to have two kids soon." He murmured. "Are you ready for this?"
"Nope." You laughed and he joined you. "But I wasn't ready the first time and we managed."
This time when he kissed you, you could feel him smile against your lips. "This feels like a dream. I'm so happy." He managed to get out in between presses of his mouth against yours. You were elated. "Can't wait to see you pregnant again."
"You mean, fat." You corrected.
"Noooo," He groaned, frustrated. "You looked so sexy when you were pregnant before." His hands slid underneath your shirt, along your stomach to cup and squeeze at your breasts. "You had big ass boobies." You can't help but laugh, he was like a horny teenager when it came to boobs. "Filled with milk for my baby."
His thumbs brushed against your nipples and you stiffened at the sensation. He kept repeating the action and you could feel a dull ache in your core at the sensation. "s'feels good." You murmured, trying to concentrate.
"Yeah?" He pulled back a little to gauge your expression. "Can I keep going?"
You nodded, appreciating the fact that he was asking for permission since you hadn't slept together since your argument. He peeled your shirt from your body and leaned down to plant kisses all over your breasts, thankful you weren't wearing a bra to bed. A dreamy sigh escaped you as your hands carded through his hair.
"D'you know what else I liked about you being pregnant?" He said huskily, still fondling you.
"Tell me." You had felt insecure at the time, and had been feeling it again after seeing the model you knew Namjoon had slept with. Some reassurance would be welcome.
"You were swollen in all the right places." The heel of his palm began to grind down slowly against your panties, having worn only those and a shirt to bed. Namjoon's lips wrapped around a nipple and your pussy pulsed in response. "The curve of your stomach, hips and ass was so fucking sexy."
"Really?"
"Mhmm," He hummed and your underwear was moved to the side. "It was sexy because you looked like a woman. Not just a hot girl." His fingers moved in slow circles against your clit and you feel yourself growing wet especially fast. "And you were off-limits to any other man than me. I put my baby in you and every other man could see it."
"Fuck, Joonie." You whimpered after he hit one particularly sensitive spot, hips jolting slightly. "I didn't know you had a pregnancy kink."
He smirked against your skin, his breath fanning across as he laughed a little. "Me neither, until I saw you."
Briefly he stopped to pull the remnants of your clothing off leaving you fully naked. "Namjoon?" You asked hesitantly, feeling shy. He hummed in response, sliding his fingers into your wet heat once more. Something had been playing on your mind this entire time. "That girl was beautiful."
He groaned. This time it wasn't a sexy groan. "Don't talk about her when I'm touching you like this."
"I keep thinking about her. She's prettier than me." You admitted. He stopped what he was doing, gripping the bottom of your chin, forcing you to face him when you tried to hide the fact that tears were welling in your eyes.
"She's nuts."
"You didn't disagree with me." You pouted. He sighed. "I'm feeling really insecure right now. I'm about to have another kid and my body is going to be wrecked, again. And girls like that are incessantly throwing themselves at you."
"I don't think she was prettier than you. And even if I did, who cares? She isn't beautiful where it counts. I just told you how sexy I think you are and you still don't believe me." He looked sad, it made you feel guilty.
"Sorry I'm being stupid." You mumbled.
"Don't be afraid to tell me when you're feeling like this, I don't want you to feel bad while I'm trying to make you feel good." He insisted. "Just remember that what I feel for you is so much more than how you look. But you're sexy, you're pretty, you're kind and you're an amazing mom. I'm so attracted to you that I'm still hard even through all this just because I'm near you and you're naked." He laughed, guiding your hand to his crotch for emphasis. He wasn't totally hard but that was an erection if you ever felt one.
"I love you so much." You told him sniffling. "Sorry for being a moodkiller. I'm hormonal and emotional right now."
"Tell me about it." He teased. "Can we carry on or are you out of it completely?"
You answered him with a kiss.
He took his time with you that night and you knew that extra effort came entirely from a place of pure, authentic and true love in his heart. Namjoon ate you out until you were a mess beneath him, able to coax two orgasms out of you before agonizingly pushing his stiff length into you.
Whispered praise in your ear made you feel desired in a way like you hadn't experienced before. He cradled you as he fucked into you, encouraging you to keep your legs wrapped around his waist, ankles locked around his lean body.
"Don't think I could never want you, especially like this." He breathed into your ear, slowly pounding into you. "You're the love of my life."
"Joon..." You moaned, tears stinging your eyes, leaking onto the pillow. You were too emotional right now for sex like this. "Please." You begged.
"Tell me you love me, tell me how good I'm making you feel." He commanded as his hips slapped into you faster this time. All you could think about was his bare skin against yours while you clung to him as if your life depended on it. Every drag of his cock inside you felt like you were made for him.
"I do, I love you so much." You moaned. "You're perfect. No one has ever made me feel like this."
When he came he groaned loud enough that you were certain he woke the sleeping child in the next room.
Your suspicions were confirmed when the pitter patter of tiny feet echoed down the hall. Namjoon leapt away from you so fast, he tangled himself in the sheets and fell over, emitting a loud curse word.
Once Siwoo had been successfully put back to bed (and escaping unscarred, having seen nothing a three year old shouldn't witness) you and Namjoon stifled silent giggles. "I guess I enjoyed that a little too much." He laughed, getting comfortable to sleep.
"Top 5?" You asked, climbing into bed beside him. It was a running joke between you about your favourite sexy time moments. You don't remember when it started and it's hard to remember every single time but there are definitely some stand out moments.
"Top 10." He yawned. "It would be higher up, but I hit my shin pretty hard when I tripped."
"I love you, you clumsy idiot." You whispered, kissing him on the nose.
"I love you too baby."
***
You loved how Siwoo looked in his father's arms. Really, you should gently remove him from the tight embrace Namjoon held him in so he could sleep properly but the sight of the two asleep on the sofa was turning you to mush. They both slept with their mouths hanging open in the exact same way, the only difference was Namjoon snored lightly.
You couldn't resist and snapped a few pictures.
As you watched them you were glad you couldn't move on whilst you were technically single. Even a small part of you regretted attempting to even be with anyone else when this was the only man you wanted right here.
You thought of Mark and the other two guys you'd dated and how empty you had felt, how you'd had to force feelings most of the time. Actions speak louder than words and the fact that neither of you had been able to get close to moving on spoke volumes.
Namjoon was home and always had been.
***
Early pregnancy was a lot more tiring than you remembered this time around. With Siwoo, you'd been relatively lucky and for the most part it had been smooth sailing. New baby was not giving you an easy ride. You'd convinced an overbearingly concerned Namjoon you were well enough to go for a walk but the five times he'd already asked if you were alright showed his worry.
His hand laced through yours as you strolled through a park near your home. It had a beautiful selection of cherry blossom trees, a long time favourite spot of yours. It was his suggestion to get some fresh air after morning sickness had claimed the first half of your day.
The occasional stray blossom petals floated through the air, giving the worn path a story book feel. Even though you weren't 100% you were glad you'd made the choice to go outside, the fresh air smelt sweet and calming.
"Jagi, I've been thinking." Namjoon announced, opting to sling an arm over your shoulder instead. You realised it was the first time he had ever been able to be affectionate with you in a public space. You leaned in closer to his side.
"Do tell."
"Let's have a wedding."
You looked up at him, perplexed. His gaze remained straight ahead. "We had one. You should remember, you were there."
"That wasn't a wedding, that was standing in an office." He corrected with a scoff. "What I'm trying to say is lets have a big celebration. One all our friends can come to. Would you like that?"
"Maybe? I don't know. I've never thought about it." You mused. "That could be fun."
"I thought it could be like an official fresh start. We never had the chance to do it like everyone else." He shrugged. "Only if you want to though, baby."
"I think I want to." You smiled. Namjoon hummed a good, squeezing your shoulder affectionately. You carried on in a comfortable silence.
"One more thing," He said after a few moments. "You need this back."
A hand slipped into his pocket and out came a small jewellery box. Without having to peek inside you already know what it contains. The ring you had given back in a fit of anger nearly a few weeks ago. He flicked the box open and offered it to you. "You're not going to get down on one knee?" You joked. He rolled his eyes.
Willingly you accepted it from him and put on the ring. "I had it cleaned for you."
You admired the silver that adorned your hand for a moment before handing him back the box. "Thank you."
The two of you didn't talk much more as you finished your route through the park. You didn't need to. Everything he'd done for you (and not just today) had said enough.
***
"Siwoo, I have told you to pick up these toys five times now!" You yelled down the hallway, exasperated by your seven year old's will to ignore simple instructions. After escaping the infamous terrible two's with him you noticed he was barrelling to being a defiant child. You raised your voice a lot more these days. "Don't make me tell you again!"
You knew it was futile by the distracted Yes Mom that he replied with. You instantly could tell he was either playing video games or on youtube, both his new favourite pass times. As you attempted to grab a ready made bottle, a loud smash came from the living room and you hurried through, worry clenching your chest.
"Oh baby girl..." You cooed once you'd noticed what had caused the noise. Your two year old, who was just figuring out that she could walk had accidentally smashed a picture frame when she'd tried to use the coffee table for balance. "I left you alone for half a second and you're trashing the place." You sighed to her.
Quickly you checked her over, ensuring she was unharmed. She was. Gently, you slung her over your hip, this time taking her to the kitchen with you. She struggled the entire time, eager to get back to her new found freedom of walking. However as soon as she realised she was getting fed, her mind was quickly changed.
The sound of Namjoon arriving home caught your attention. You were glad he was home. As much as you loved your children, an entire day alone with them was harder than any job you'd ever worked. You were still between nanny's and were picking the slack up yourself.
"There's my girls." You could hear the smile in his voice before you saw it. Namjoon reclined in the doorway, watching you and Eunha, an enamoured look on his face. He crossed the room, kissing her first on the cheek before meeting your lips in a peck. "Where's Siwoo?"
"Bedroom," You sighed. "Tell him to get his toys please." Namjoon nodded, able to read your frustration straight away as his phone and keys where placed on the kitchen counter. He left to do what you'd asked of him.
Once you'd managed to get Eunha down for bed, you joined Namjoon and Siwoo who were picking the toys up together. You picked up the smashed picture frame that you'd momentarily forgotten about, smiling at the image. It was an official photo from your 'second' wedding, you and your husband smiling like lovesick kids with Siwoo between you, looking adorable in his tiny suit.
It had been a wonderful day, being able to celebrate properly with your loved ones. The day had been a blur, but the best kind of blur; ending it with sore cheeks from smiling so much.
"What's that?"
Namjoon's question brought you back to the present. You flipped the picture frame round to show him it was broken. "Courtesy of Eunha on one of her missions."
"You look so pretty in that picture Jagiya." Namjoon stretched over and kissed your cheek. Neither of you missed how Siwoo's face screwed up in disgust at the sight of his parents kissing. A knowing smirk was shared between you and your husband.
"Thank you for that boop!" You kissed your son's head when he was finished the task. It was frightening how tall he was getting, you suspected he would be taller than Namjoon when he was older. He trudged back to his room grumbling about how he was too old to kiss his mom. You couldn't help but laugh.
Namjoon wrapped his arms around you as soon as you were alone, kissing you properly this time. "How was your day?" He asked quietly against your lips.
"Long." You sighed, resting your head on his chest. "You?"
"Busy."
Lately he had been putting in more and more hours at the recently expanded studio. Ever since Yoongi had started a family of his own they'd even hired an entire crew of people. Things couldn't be better for your husband's career and you were more than thankful how lucky the two of you had been.
His hand stroked the back of your hair lovingly. "The best part of my day is coming home." He yawned, holding you tight. You hummed in agreement, that was the highlight of your day as well. Ten years total together and that had never changed.
Not one moment was taken for granted anymore and when all was said and done, you knew you would be with him, always.
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MASTERLIST
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silver-wield · 5 years ago
Text
The Promise Analysis (Cloti)
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Sorry about that, Nonny, I relate the promise between Tifa and Cloud to some of the stuff that happens during their resolution and went full tin hatter on it.
Ok, spoiler warning for ppl who haven't played (I tag FF7R spoilers as final fantasy 7 remake spoilers) and it's gonna be a long one so prepare to scroll.
Also, this is one person's interpretation of the scene, so if you disagree that's cool and we'll agree to disagree.
You're also gonna have to excuse the janky quality on some of the screens, I'm grabbing them from Youtube and it's frustrating af trying to get the exact moment I want.
Other analyses if anyone's interested.
Shinra HQ vision scene (Cloti/plot analysis) 
Chapter 3 (Cloti reblog) 
Tifa character analysis 
Aerith Resolution (plot analysis/theory) 
Train graveyard (not really an analysis, but I got some sweet screenshots of Cloti) 
Clotiscrew tunnel analysis 
Cloti reunion analysis 
Now, strap in and enjoy the ride.
Recapping for anyone who's forgotten the basics – cause I assume by this point you're ok with spoilers and me pointing that out is kinda dumb lol
So, chapter 4 and it's mission time with the trio – I love these dorks, especially Wedge, he is my child and if he's dead Imma riot. Jessie is off being sneaky and it's up to Cloud and co to play tag with the security team.
As Charlie Biggs (if you got the ref kudos) explains the plan, Cloud looks up at the night sky — which is a whole lot different to the one we fade up to and I personally wonder what it was about that sky that made him recall the promise to Tifa. Was it just the fact he'd been talking to her and it was his first time he'd paid attention to it? Before that he was under the plate and before that he was in the reactor, so I guess it's safe to assume this is his first chance to relate the two things.
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Ok, after the fade in, we're treated to a pretty damn romantic set up. The water tower, the night sky and lil Cloud waiting for Tifa.
In the OG it mentions he waited for so long he started getting really cold, but he stuck it out because he wanted to see her and hoped she'd show. That's an OG lifestream detail not in the first OG promise scene, but let's assume for now it's gonna get a callback in the Remake. That means bby Cloud has been sitting there waiting for Tifa for a while now.
Ok, call her a thirteen year old bitch if you feel good about yourselves here, but she's thirteen and her dad is super overprotective. He stopped Cloud from playing with Tifa after she had an accident at 8 that wasn't Cloud's fault and in fact if he hadn't been there she'd have died on the mountain because nobody would've known where she was. Ok? Ok.
So, he's been waiting, and it's clear he's nervous – he looks so fucking cute I just can't stand it! Nervous fidgeting, balled fist, head down, mouth pulled into a pretty grim line. He thinks she's not coming, but still he's waiting for her.
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Sorry, just to further hit home the above points. That is the face of a boy who is desperately hoping the girl he likes is gonna show, but has half given up hope. There's sadness in his eyes and a tensing along his jaw line. This boy is disappointed and my heart breaks for him.
Going back to that focus in on Cloud's eyes before the flashback and we can see here the massive difference mako makes to the colour. Cloud's eyes are a deep blue, while his mako infused eyes are blue/green. I get why he goes on about them a lot because he's probably not used to seeing them like that yet; maybe he never will be. Tifa's comment was about the look in his eyes – which I touched on in a comment I made while replaying. Tifa isn't focused on the colour, she's dismayed he has such a hard look in his eyes and when you compare the look in this boy's eyes, it's clear to see what she's getting at. This Cloud is the real Cloud and he is soft as fuck and trying to look tough.
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GODDAMNIT!! There's way too many good moments to grab for this analysis! Look at this precious boy! All but folding under the weight of disappointment! But, what's this in the bg? Our heroine, here at last!
If anyone anyone tries to say Cloud didn't have a great stonking crush on Tifa as a kid then please tell me what this means if it isn't he's gutted he's waited and waited and she didn't show.
We don't know why she's late – maybe Remake will clear that up for us – but I'm guessing she couldn't sneak out or maybe, judging by the amount she's dressed up, she was doing the typical girly thing and couldn't decide what to wear, asking herself if this is a date and second guessing why Cloud called her to the water tower – which is known as a romantic meeting place. Whatever the reason, she's thirteen, sheltered – thanks to her dad – and naturally shy. Maybe she worried herself into a state about whether she should go and had to find her courage to meet Cloud. She likes him just as much as he likes her remember. It's canon, don't argue.
Now, her face is this bit is out of focus, but that's nothing to my weirdly myopic eagle eyes – it's a very specific gift. Tifa's smiling. That we can tell even before she's fully in shot. There's a bunching of the cheek muscles that tells us that. She's pleased he's still there. Obviously, she can't read his body language, but she'd probably be a bit upset to realise she upset him. Because she's not actually a bitch like some people like to claim. Sorry, but she's thirteen. How threatened are yall that you gotta call a thirteen year old girl a bitch and try to erase how important she is in Cloud's childhood just to further your own ends? Seriously, get help.
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Sorry for the janky, but this is a transition between focus so it's not gonna be great anyway. Here we can see Cloud's expression when Tifa says heya. Eyes open, wide with surprise. She showed. That's what his face is saying. He's trying hard not to show his emotions too much – I mean he is still Cloud and too cool for all that nonsense – but he's relieved. Maybe his heart even skips a beat, but I'm speculating. Her greeting is casual, reserved. Tifa. She’s being cute even though he’s not looking because she wants him to think she’s cute.
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Tifa, ever respectful and respectable sits the right amount of difference away that both encourages Cloud she's interested in being near him, but doesn't over encourage him and make him think of her in a negative way. She's likely cultivated this on purpose – she's the mayor's daughter so she's always got to be proper – because she's got a lot of male friends and having any of them get the wrong idea would be bad. You'll notice in her other flashbacks where the boys feature that she's not sitting too close to any of them and they're running around her, not touching or anything. They're satellites that revolve around her because she is untouchable to them. Because she's the mayor's daughter and has to be a good girl all the time. This is further evidence that goes towards Tifa's overall personality. She's very careful and respectful to people. She doesn't go out of her way to offend anyone unless she has no choice. Though she's a skilled fighter, she's very slow to anger and tries to look on the bright side as much as she can, despite the tragedy in her life. (I'm gushing, I know, but she's such a great multifaceted character and way more than the tropes people shove on her to make her into nothing).
Where was I?
Right. So, in direct contrast to their later conversation during the chapter 14 resolution, here we see Cloud with his back to Tifa and her with her head tilting, inviting him to confide in her. Yes, there really are that many awesome parallels purposely inserted in this game and that's why you need to take more than one look.
From her face we can conclude she's optimistic. She's smiling and doesn't look like someone who's expecting a bomb to drop any second – Cloud if you only turned around you wouldn't have gone through this shit. Sure, you'd have likely died when Sephiroth came to town, but hey, you'd have gone out with your childhood sweetheart lol
What she's probably expecting is for Cloud – who has purposely invited her to the watertower hot dating spot – to ask her out. And since she's there and dressed up, we could conclude she'd accept him.
Cloud is trying to find the cool words he wants to say that'll motivate Tifa to miss him, maybe even push her into saying, “No, don't go,” because even though he's fourteen, Cloud is no good at talking to women. This is just one of his character traits. It's why we wanna strangle him over the Triangle. Bby Cloud is hardly better than adult Cloud, but at least bby Cloud knows he likes Tifa.
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Bomb dropped. Kaboom. Poor bby Tifa. Look how disappointed and upset she is. She wasn't expecting this one bit! She looked so hopeful in the seconds before Cloud's hesitant declaration, only it wasn't the kind she hoped for. I wouldn't go so far as to say she's crushed, but she's upset, that's for sure. Her brows have come together and she's turned away from Cloud because she doesn't want him to see how she looks in this moment. She's trying to put a brave face on it, but bby Tifa isn't as good as her grown up self. You can see the mouth trying to form a smile, but the eyes have a different expression in them.This is again seen in chapter 14 when Tifa tries to put a brave face on for Cloud before breaking down. 
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Shots fired! Tifa goes for dismissive and succeeds! Never mess with a girl with a crush lol
Cloud was trying to get a reaction out of her, but she got one out of him instead. Brave face wins. Well, what did you expect? She's the mayor's daughter and raised on being proper.
He stutters that he's not like the other boys – so cute – and shows off his lofty dreams. He's trying so hard to impress her. He only has these dreams because of the incident when they were smaller where her father said if Cloud can't take care of Tifa then he has no right being around her. This is what drove Cloud to distance himself from Tifa and her friends. Talk about shoving an inferiority complex and identity disorder on a kid. I get it, the mayor was worried about his daughter, but Cloud didn't deserve the bear the brunt of his anger and blame. Still, the fact that nine year old Cloud took that, held onto it for five years and still decided to pursue Tifa by becoming a SOLDIER has huge meaning for them. He was nine. Ok, for argument's sake let's say he didn't have a crush on her, but they were friends and he was told he wasn't good enough to hang with her. So, thanks to propaganda he gets it in his head that SOLDIERS are the best and if he's one of them he'll be good enough for her father to let him see Tifa again. We're not told at any point – nor shown it – that Tifa is only interested in Cloud if he's this elite who can impress her. Remember, she already likes him. Look at what she's wearing compared to him ffs. This girl – again – dressed for a date with Mr Oblivious. Yes, I'm rolling my eyes. Yes, I want to smack him upside the head. Yes, I know he's 14, I meant adult Cloud.
Back to it. The look on his face here is one of “she thinks I'm like the others? I'll prove I'm not. I'm better than that. I can be next to her if I prove myself.” At this point, he's definitely gone from wanting to be around her in a friendship capacity to borderline romantic. I mean, he did call her out to the watertower. Did I mention that? A few times? Because it's significant. He's frustrated she compared him to her friends – no she didn't friendzone him, she likes him. He thinks she friendzoned him. Kids are frustrating and the adult versions aren't much better.
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Shots fired part two! Points to Cloud this time! Smug lil fucker, I see that smirk!
Okay, so Cloud says he's gonna be like Sephiroth and at this point in time Sephiroth isn't batshit crazy, he's someone to be admired. Tifa to be fair, doesn't sound impressed, but she's humouring Cloud. Then, she says, “Isn't it hard to become a SOLDIER?” And Cloud replies with “Yes, so I won't be back for a long time.”
Okay, now. This is definitely to get a reaction. The smirk on his face is saying that he's partly getting her back for her earlier shot and partly trying to goad a reaction from her because he thinks he didn't get one before – this is why eye contact matters.
Tifa, for her part, doesn't look happy. He's got a reaction out of her, but it'd be really super helpful if he was facing her to see it. Because he isn't, she can get away with a breezy reply that makes him think she doesn't care.
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I'm sorry, can I just say serves you right and leave it at that? Seriously, Cloud, don't mess with girls when you can barely form coherent sentences most of the time. What did he expect? She'd throw herself on him, clinging, crying and begging him not to go? Probably. Once again, our angsty hero is on the backfoot in their conversation. This is why eye contact matters. He's looking a bit gutted at her reaction. He likely hoped for more and got far less than he wanted. It's no wonder he goes to Midgar and doesn't approach her when he comes back as a grunt. He's carrying this presumed disappointment around with him that stops him from seeing her. (I can't really go more into CC events since I haven't played it and I've only seen a few bits and pieces, but what I got from it was Cloud is an idiot.)
Tifa asking if he'll be in the papers is both a brush off towards his baiting and also she's trying to encourage him. This is his dream. He called her out of the house late at night to tell her – just her – that this is what he's gonna do. Of course she won't stop him. She's not that kind of girl. She's supportive and kind. She doesn't understand that Cloud's doing it for her – I honestly don't think it enters her mind at any point until he reveals it OG during the lifestream sequence. She's pretty much as oblivious as he is and assumes they're just really close friends and her attraction is all one sided; same as he does about her.
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Ah ha! Tifa thinks, realising that Cloud's lukewarm effort to be in the papers won't be enough to satisfy her. If Cloud's going to become a SOLDIER, then he'll be a hero – like Sephiroth. What do heroes do? Save people. He said he won't be home for a long time, but there's even less guarantee he'd come back at all, and she wants to see him again, even if it's just once. She can't leave Nibelheim. As the mayor's daughter she's got responsibilities to the people there – even though the town is dying out and nobody new is settling. Eventually, she'll be the only person her age left and maybe never hear from any of her friends again. But, she can't leave. She can't abandon the people. She'll be left, alone and lonely, until everyone’s gone. Her life wasted. But, she could see Cloud again and that makes her optimistic. Maybe she wouldn't mind the time so much if she thought she'd get to see him again. See that at least he's pursuing his dreams and he's happy with the direction his life took. Maybe she'd get one grand romantic gesture in her life if SOLDIER Cloud could save her.
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Confused boi is confused. From Cloud's pov, he doesn't understand this odd request. He hasn't thought about Tifa saying everyone leaving means she's alone. He's only seen this from his pov, so he can't see why Tifa would need saving or how he would even know she needs him. He doesn't realise it's her way of trying to get some guarantee they'll meet again.
I mean, we can see he's trying to understand her. He's actually turned to look at her this time and his expression is searching, like he's looking for clues why she said this. He also invites her to explain by making a verbal cue.
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And now that Cloud has her full attention – you know, the thing he was trying to get all along – he doesn't know what to do with it. He's flustered and awkward, and she's cajoling and turning on the charm, which she likely has in spades because mayor's daughter. I know I say that like it's a personality trait, but in part it is. She's had to learn decorum and everything that goes with it. She needs manners and good behaviour. She has to be just enough of an extrovert that she can attend functions – because even though I know I said the town is dying, they still have a reactor and that means they still get visits from important people. She can't show her dad or town up. In the Resolution analysis I made I said she hasn't been allowed to show emotion for five years since she arrived in Midgar, but it's very likely she's never been allowed to show much emotion. She's gotta be the doll. So, since she can't show she's sad, she goes for positive, and Cloud's frowning because he's not sure how he'll keep this promise she wants so bad and if she isn't interested in him then why is she asking for one anyway? Remember, they just did a do-si-do with each other's feelings acting like they don't like each other.
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But then, oh look! Oh look! In the face of Tifa's unrelenting cheer and optimism, Cloud starts to smile. Eyes soften and the slightest lift at the corner of his mouth. He's starting to like the idea of being her hero. And it's just once and maybe from that one time save things would move forward for them. He's definitely not opposed to the idea – especially since he's the one who brings it up with Tifa later and she's pretty embarrassed at the reminder. The confusion from before could be because he thought she wasn't serious, but looking her dead in the eye – this is why eye contact matters – he sees she's serious. She wants him to be her hero. She wants to see him again and even offers a get out clause by saying “just once.” He doesn't have to do it forever or whenever she wants, just once. So, she can have hope she'll see him again some day.
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And now we're back with the big idiot, who squeezes his eyes shut as he remembers Tifa in the bar earlier saying she feels trapped. Guilt likely pinches. Maybe he wonders if this was a hint she wanted his help – I'm wavering on this because she does say later she didn't expect this kind of thing when she asked for his promise – but if we go by choice of words alone it's leading. Then again, bby Tifa uses the word trapped, so it could just be a word that she feels comfortable using to describe her feelings. How we speak is made up of specific words we go to that feel right when we say them. It's just one of those things and why not everyone speaks the same even when they're from the same region or you have friend groups where you speak one way and other groups where you speak another.
From the dev pov I'm assuming it's meant to be a callback to the promise, but I wouldn't put it on Tifa doing it purposely to encourage Cloud to help her. If that makes sense.
And we close off with Cloud clenching his fist and resolving to help Tifa. To keep his promise.
At no point do we have confirmation from Tifa that the reason she asked Cloud to make a promise was to get a favour off him.
Conclusion
This is actually a very tragic scene from Tifa's pov. I've seen some people say this is because she's a young girl acting like a fairy princess, but I can't marry that idea with the gritty themes FF7 portrayed, and Remake does still hit those notes. Tifa is a young girl who had her romantic hopes dashed and she's looking for some kind of consolation from the boy she likes. He's leaving her. They're all leaving her. She'll be alone. She just wants hope that she'll see him again.
Is it manipulative? Yeah, ok, if that's how you see it. She's thirteen. Did I mention that? I'll say it again. She's thirteen, and one of the last people her age in town. Soon, she's gonna be the only one her age. She's lonely and doesn't want to lose everyone in her life. If you say that's manipulative by asking her crush make a promise so she can have hope she'd see him again, then go off I guess.
And let's touch on hope. Tifa is someone who has a lot of enduring hope – this is why I initially linked the ask to the resolution scene because the theme of hope runs through both. Tifa gets knocked down a lot. She's almost died several times, lost people close to her when they left town, lost Cloud when he left and still found a way to go on. She was never a damsel or trying to be one. She's wearing a cute dress because Cloud asked her out. She thought it was a date. Or she wanted it to be. And since when does wearing a dress make someone a weakling? Or does it only apply to Tifa because convenience?
After Cloud leaves, Tifa begins training every day. She learns from a master and develops her skills until she's at the peak. I mean, you've seen her fight. She kicks all the ass.
She wasn't sitting around like a damsel waiting for an opportunity for Cloud to come and save her. She got on with her life. She was happy at times, sad others. It was normal. She missed Cloud, I know that much from CC. She dressed up – again – hoping he'd be part of the group inspecting the reactor. She was disappointed when he wasn't there.
The promise between them wasn't about furthering a childhood romance or making Tifa someone Cloud couldn't get over. Neither of them was aware the other had feelings. It was awkward mutual oblivious crushing that clearly carried on for another two years until Cloud showed up with Zack, but didn't appear before Tifa because he’s that kind of idiot.
And what happened during the trip? Well, a lot of stuff, but the thing I know about is Sephiroth went batshit cray cray and slaughtered everyone in the town and then burnt it to the ground. He nearly killed Tifa. Cloud was there and that's what we see in his headache flashes about “I let you down again”.
He carries a lot of guilt about not being Tifa's hero, which is why he tries so hard to protect her. He made a promise to her that part of him believes he hasn't kept, but if it wasn't for him, she'd be dead. Again. He did save her. And he keeps on saving her. Not because of the debt of a promise but because he wants to be her hero. The real Cloud that's hidden deep within him, the one that made the original promise, the one that almost died saving her and got stuffed in a mako chamber for years until Zack rescued him, that Cloud wants to be Tifa's hero.
That's why after he recalls this moment – and it's one of the ones where he doesn't have a headache at all (just thought I'd mention that because certain people go on about how a specific scene is all Cloud not headachey Cloud whatever) – that he becomes focused on helping Tifa. He opens up both to her and others – check the camaraderie with the trio after the mission and him offering to walk Wedge home. 
This recollection of a promise is the first step for the real Cloud to finding his way back. That's why it anchors his development and that's why his and Tifa's relationship will never be less than something deep and meaningful.
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mochuelovelli · 4 years ago
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Lilith for the character ask?
Oh boy, a controversial character! Gotta say, I stan James Charles /J
How do I feel about this character?:
On a real note, I do like Lilith as a character. When we first meet her, she's pompous and proud. Oozing with entitlement, she's easy to route against and you like to see her get worked up and "brought down" to Eda's level as the wild which so eloquently put it. Later on, but not too much later that it feels disingenuous, we really get to see her show that she cares for her sister. One might believe it is *Eda* being ridiculous, as far as the audience is aware, Lilith's offer holds little downsides. Eda would be cured and be afforded the luxuries of the upper class AND keep her magic. All she had to do was be the Emperor's soldier.
As to not get off track by talking about Eda, (im sure Lilith herself would loathe that lol) Lilith's reveal to have cursed her sister over a spot in the emperor's coven was...controversial to say the least. I don't think it's unpopular to voice that, yeah. It could've been communicated better to the audience since I saw plenty of commentators and regular fans themselves either thought Lilith cursing her sister was *needlessly* petty and not at all thought out (which yeah it kinda was).
From where I stand on that issue is, yeah, Lilith's whole reason to curse her sister could've been avoided by just talking to her sister and asking her to let her have this. BUT, I think a lot of people forget that the Emperor's coven would want to limit the number of powerful witches in their coven. Sure, Belos would want to be protected by a bunch of loyal soldiers, but he wouldn't want too much of the population to ever have a much power as him. So limiting the number of members in not just his coven but possible in the other major covens, would aid in controlling that population.
This might be pure hogwash but like, there are a ton of other "lesser" covens. So in my mind, it's more likely that the general population of witches gets sorted into one of the various miscellaneous. If you think limiting yourself to only practicing Illusion magic sucks, imagine only practicing whatever the fuck the "swag coven" does.
Lol gonna add a page break this shit is getting too long
Romantic Ships for this character?:
Hm, it's only s1 and we haven't seen her interact w/ many characters outside of her fam/Belos/actual children. I kinda jokingly ship here with Steve lol. Kikimora and her also have a funny dynamic but in all actuality, I don't ship her w/ anyone rn.
Non-Romantic Ships for this character?:
Her and Hooty lol. I mean Eda is an obvious answer but like, Hooty fucking with Lilith is too funny to not want to see. Her and King would be great too, probably get some good B plots out of it. It would be a good contrast since they both can be petty but in different ways and I think that would help flesh out their characters a bit more and maybe cause some introspection (at least on Lilith’s end lol)
Unpopular opinion about this character?:
Lol. I feel like she is such a divisive character in general that most opinions about her aren’t too out of the main stream. I guess a more meta take is that when she’s portrayed in fanworks, usually fanfic but not exclusively, very...one note lol. She’s usually a pretty flat, boring character in an attempt to highlight the contrast between her and Eda. She’s the straight-laced, “responsible” sibling who has a chip on her shoulder. In fanon, that equates to her characterization to either be like, completely and utterly apologetic to the point where it becomes unbelievable for any person to do. Her apologizing or making amends is usually quickly forgiven by Luz/and or Eda. Sure, Luz is very forgiving person naturally but like?? She’s wasn’t mad in canon too much about THEIR well being (almost getting impaled), she was specifically pissed about Lilith betraying Eda. 
So, if Lilith is a big part of your story (and it’s working in the realm of canon), then this should be a problem which doesn’t get resolved by just ONE big action. I also feel like her being on better terms with Eda would come BEFORE Luz since Eda’s main gripe with her would be about her being annoyed by Lilith’s controlling nature and the fact that she didn’t trust her enough to talk about her feelings back when she was first cursed (also her using Luz against her but I feel like that would probably be a hurdle that wouldn’t really be over come until Lilith in turn would be willing to sacrifice herself for Luz while also making an effort to care for Luz as a person not just see her as a “pet”). Hhhh this section is so long and its kinda bleeding over in the next question so-
Something I wish will happen or would have wanted to happen in canon?:
yall if you are still reading I am so sorry sksk
I want Lilith in general, not to be forgiven by either Luz or Eda. Eda probably early on stating about how she is unsure if she could EVER forgive her sister for what she has done. BUT, critically, Eda would see that Lilith is trying and she is willing to work with her (with a unhelpful dose of teasing) because at the end of the day she still loves her sister. For the relationship they had before everything with south, for knowing her side of the story even though she believes it doesn’t justify her actions. She understands and sympathizes, she’s grown a bit softer thanks to Luz, which is very funny since I want Luz to be the one who is the hardest to convince Lilith actually had a change of heart but more on that later. 
Before I move on to what I want her path towards forgiveness with Luz looks like, I want to bring up a parallel that I haven’t seen many people make. Fans always talk about the parallel between the Clawthornes and Luz/Amity, and rightly so because there is a lot to extrapolate there, but I think another interesting dynamic that might be interesting to see in s2 would be an episode that focuses on lost friendship/sisterhood with the Clawthornes and Amity and Willow. It’s kinda funny that Amity and Willow’s friendship was ruined because Willow was too “weak” while Eda was too “powerful”. In a potential episode, it can show the progression both Eda/Lilith and Willow/Amity are making in rekindling their relationship with each other. For Eda and Lilith this would be a lot more rough around the edges since it both be either the first or one of the first attempts at doing so while Willow/Amity would maybe be further along yet still have some major/minor hang ups with one another. With Willow/Amity, their relationship would either be rounding the bend of fully moving past the “idk how to feel about you stage” or it is stated outright that Willow forgives Amity, (and by forgive, I mean in the “we both know what you did, you’ve actually changed. we won’t have the same relationship that we once had but I’m okay with trying again”). In contrast, Lilith and Eda would reach a understanding and come up with some ground rules on how to handle each other (Eda’s main take away from this “episode” would be what I previously stated in the last question), ones that will be more like guidelines cuz its Eda lol. Also what separates the Clawthornes conflict from the Willow/Amity one (besides the obvious) is that the Clawthornes both know how the other works. Which buttons to push and all that so both of them are going to have to learn to resist doing that, at least a bit, in order to actually progress. 
ANYWAYS, I also want Luz to be the one to regard Lilith the coldest. Luz refusing to let Lilith teach her anything despite probably having more practical/book smarts knowledge on magic theory than Eda because she doesn’t trust her. If they are gonna use that masked dude as a spy, I want Luz to assume Lilith is somehow a coconspirator. This plot thread doesn’t have to be going at 100% the whole time, (in fact I would want it to be a temp thing maybe lasting a couple eps at most or like, just something that is hinted at but not dived deeply until the second half of the season). Really, Lilith has a hard time because Luz straight up doesn’t give her the opportunity to really express her regret/remorse. Lilith probably won’t at first give her a ton of reasons to forgive her as she usually attempts at coming back at Luz’s snide remarks with her own quippy comebacks. Sksk a really angsty end to an attempt could include Lilith saying something to Luz after going on a small talk with her (where yeah Lilith has improved but still needs noticeable work) that she “reminds her a lot of Eda” and Luz bites back with something like “Oh yeah? You going to curse me too? You want another person you can force to do what YOU want?”. 
Hell maybe “parental problems” could have Lilith poke at, either on purpose or accidentally, Luz’s feelings about going back to the human world and Camila. Lilith reminding her, maybe unknowingly, reminds her a lot of her mom and that causes her to blow up on her. Luz would hate that comparison, thinking about how similar her mom and Lilith are to one another. That because she still has such a strong dislike of Lilith, it bleeds over into how Luz views Camila and vice versa. In that, both Camila and Lilith value respect, an adherence to the rules, have a great sense of wisdom (arguably for Lilith lol /hj), and (eventually for Lilith once she gets to know Luz better) a genuine want for Luz to succeed and belief in her even though they are critical of her actions at times. Sure Eda reminds her of that more, motherly protective kind of love, in which she would do anything for her to be happy and healthy. Lilith can be the other side of that, the worry and slight doubt. That familiar way they each go about trying to understand and get close to Luz yet not quite getting it yet would still do whatever she’d ask for her sake. Luz at first would take Lilith being disappointed in her actions as an accomplishment. As they grow closer and the more Lilith reminds her of her mom, it becomes scary. The disappointment hurts and in an effort not to feel like that again and to not want to think about the comparison between Lilith and her mother she will snap back at her. Eventually Lilith would then have to change again and reassure her that she cares and by extent, her mother cares to. It is here Lilith is willing to let go of being so constantly controlling and learns to encourage first (or do some form of the compliment sandwich) and Luz comes to peace with her feelings about her mother and understands her position better. To be able to love herself even if she knows that she will always try to do her best. 
oh my fucking god you made it im so sorry i guess i had a lot of thoughts. fffffff
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4kominato · 4 years ago
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A/N: Merry Belated Christmas!!! LOL, cheers to my first ever fluff oneshot with a genuine storyline and is over 900 words HAHA. this was so much fun to write so i hope yall enjoy it 🙏🏻 ~ kuri
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Pairing: Kominato Haruichi x Fem!Reader [ft. KuraRyou]
Genre: Fluff
[[ WARNING ]] suggestive scenes/dialogue
Word Count: 2.8k
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“Merry Christmas, Haruichi,” you whispered to the pink haired boy who was still fast asleep next to you. Pressing a chaste kiss to his cheek, you untangled yourself from the covers and put on some comfortable clothes before heading out to the kitchen where the enticing smell of freshly brewed coffee tugged needlessly at your nose.
“Morning. Merry Christmas.” You were greeted by another pink haired boy as he poured a cup of coffee for himself and the taller, green haired boy sitting next to him.
“Merry Christmas!” Kuramochi chimed in, as you sat down across from him while Ryousuke grabbed another mug from the cabinet.
“Coffee?” he offered.
You only gave a small nod in response and so he poured you a cup, letting you add in your own cream and sugar.
“Sounded like you and Haruichi had a fun time last night, hm?” Ryousuke spoke up, making your cheeks flush as you sipped your hot coffee.
“Ryou-chan, you didn’t have to bring it up so abruptly,” Kuramochi snickered, playfully nudging Ryousuke’s arm.
“Y-you heard us?”
“Well, Youichi and I finished drinking a little early last night and it just so happened that you guys were at it when we got back. I’m surprised that the two of you can get as loud as loud mouth over here.”
“Oi! I’m not that loud...”
“You’re pretty loud.”
“Er… well… we assumed you guys would be out late like usual...” you chuckled nervously, breaking eye contact with the older boy.
“Merry Christmas,” Haruichi interrupted cluelessly, thankfully making Ryousuke drop the topic.
“Merry Christmas, sleepy head,” Ryousuke greeted, “Coffee?”
“Mm,” he agreed, seating himself next to you.
“Merry Christmas,” Kuramochi added, as Ryousuke poured yet another cup of coffee.
“Now that everyone’s here, I was thinking,” Ryousuke started, handing the mug over to Haruichi, “How would you guys like to go ice skating after we open presents?”
“Hm…” Kuramochi hummed, “Never skated before, but sounds like fun.”
“I’d love to go ice skating!” you added excitedly, quickly turning to your boyfriend for confirmation, but much to your disappointment, he looked a little taken aback and not into the idea as much as you were.
“Haruichi enjoys going to the rink, but he doesn’t know how to skate,” Ryousuke grinned at you, noticing how his younger brother had suddenly fallen silent, “He always has to cling onto me when we go. Good thing he has you this time around, it seems I have another noob to deal with now.”
“You’re supposed to be nice to me on Christmas,” Kuramochi pouted.
“Hm? Says who?” he teased back before reverting back to the previous topic, “So, are you guys in? Don’t worry Haruichi, I’m sure she’ll catch you if you fall.”
“Aniki…” he whined, the pink tinge on his fair cheeks all too apparent.
“C’mon Haru-chan, it’ll be fun!” you assured as you jumped out of your seat and took one of his hands into your own, “I’ll teach you how to skate.”
“I don’t know… I’ve never been good at it,” Haruichi mumbled, not entirely fond of the idea of embarrassing himself in front of his girlfriend.
“So… is that four yeses?” Ryousuke asked, knowing his younger brother would come around in the end anyways.
“You’re going to force otooto to come?” Kuramochi raised an eyebrow at him.
“No, but if the three of us go, he’ll follow along.”
“Aniki!”
“I only speak the truth.”
“It’s okay,” you comforted, wrapping your arms around Haruichi’s small frame, “If onii-san doesn’t force you to come, then I will.”
“What?!”
“Alright, so that’s four yeses. Who wants to open presents?” Ryousuke announced dismissively, grabbing Kuramochi’s hand before making his way into the living room.
“Hyaha, I’m your present this year, Ryou-chan. I didn’t get you anything.”
“Sure you didn’t. I literally saw you bring the gifts into the apartment.”
“Those are for otooto and y/n!”
“Hm, really? I mean, I suppose I wouldn’t mind unwrapping you right here, right now if that's what you’re asking for. And I get to use my gift right away?”
“Hyaha! Not in front of them, Ryou-chan.”
“Yeah, not in front of us please,” you groaned, shaking your head and face palming.
“Like you’re one to talk,” Ryousuke smirked, before grabbing the gifts from under the tree and distributing them respectively.
Rolling your eyes, you reached for Kuramochi’s gift first, pulling the tissue out from the top to disclose the contents of the bag; he had gotten you a cute beanie along with a pair of matching socks, which was perfect for you, considering you didn’t have a whole lot of winter attire.
“Thanks, You-san!” you beamed as you slid the beanie onto your head to try it on.
“No problem, looks good on you,” he replied, pausing from unwrapping his own gifts to throw you a thumbs up.
“You-san always manages to find nice things for you,” Haruichi smiled at you lovingly.
“Yeah, he does.”
“Here, open aniki’s present next,” Haruichi urged as he set the gift in front of you, “I helped him pick it.”
“Okay,” you agreed as you picked it up and began to tear away at the wrapping paper encompassing the flat, but vast box. Despite the size, it felt fairly light making you more and more curious as to what it was. Ripping off the last bit of wrapping paper, you lifted the lid off the box which held a nicely folded, black trench coat.
“Oh my god, I’ve been meaning to buy a new coat but never got around to it… thank you, onii-san!”
“Haruichi mentioned it to me. I was already planning to go ice skating before I bought your gift so I figured you could use it when we go,” Ryousuke replied, a proud smile strung across his face, “Looks cute with the beanie too.”
“Thanks! I’ll definitely use both of them when we go. Maybe I’ll wear the socks too!”
Reaching for your last gift, the smallest of the three, you wondered what it was that Haruichi had gotten for you. Last year it was a necklace and the year before that, he got matching bracelets for the two of you. He was quite the romantic, so his gifts were never disappointing, which made you all the more excited to see his choice of gift this year.
Quickly unwrapping the small box, you opened the lid to find the rigid item wrapped in white tissue, so you unwrapped the gift once again and you couldn’t help the little gasp that slipped past your lips when it was finally revealed.
“Aw, Haruichi, I love it!” you announced as you stared in awe at the golden heart-shaped ornament which framed a picture of the two of you from the previous Christmas.
“He made one for us too, Ryou-chan!” Kuramochi added excitedly, holding up his ornament to display.
“I know,” Ryousuke chuckled, “I gave him our picture.”
“Thank you, Haru-chan! You always think of the best gifts,” you praised as you pressed a soft kiss to his lips, cuing his cheeks and ears to turn bright red.
“Oh no, it was nothing...” he replied bashfully, rubbing the back of his neck. You couldn’t help but smile at how cute he was when he was embarrassed, stroking your fingers through his soft hair before standing up to place the ornament on the tree.
“Shall we hang ours up too?” Kuramochi offered to which Ryousuke simply nodded, and so he stood up and hung his ornament shortly after you.
After all the presents were opened, the four of you worked together to tidy up the living room, before dispersing to your bedrooms to change into warm clothing for skating. Over your warm clothes, you wore the trench coat that Ryousuke gifted to you and then to top it off, Kuramochi’s beanie.
“You look good,” Haruichi hummed, gently holding you by the hips and pulling you into him.
“So do you,” you flirted back as you hooked your arms around his neck and stared into his pretty orbs.
“I meant in your new coat and beanie,” he almost whispered, his lips inching closer and closer to yours.
“You always look good,” you barely managed to say before his lips melded with yours, the hands on your hips now slithering around your waist to the small of your back to pull your body flush against his. The moment, however, was short lived, a loud knock on the door abruptly interrupting your session followed by, “C’mon slowpokes! We’re gonna leave already!”
“You guys can have sex after we get back from skating,” Ryousuke added, speaking just loud enough for you guys to hear through the door.
“Hyaha! Ryou-chan, that was mean!”
“Aniki!” Haruichi exclaimed as he quickly pulled away from you, a bewildered expression forming on his face.
“Oh yeah… So um, onii-san said that he and You-san heard us last night because they came home early…”
“They did?!” Haruichi gasped in disbelief, his cheeks flushing yet again in embarrassment, “That’s so awkward…”
“They don’t seem to think much of it, other than using it to make jokes, but that’s not too bad, right?” you assured, grabbing him by the hand and pulling him towards the door, “We should go before they get any other ideas.”
Nodding, he followed you out and the two of you met Ryousuke and Kuramochi in the living room before heading out altogether.
“Is everyone ready?” Kuramochi announced, twirling his car keys around his index finger as everyone else gathered at the front door. The three of you quickly agreed, and so you guys were off to Kuramochi’s car and on your way to the nearest skating rink. When the four of you arrived, you were relieved to see that it wasn’t terribly crowded; it would be much easier to help Haruichi if there were less people on the ice.
Haruichi hopped out of the car first, offering you a hand to help you out and you gladly accepted. Walking hand in hand, the two of you followed Ryousuke and Kuramochi to the stand to rent skates.
“You still nervous, Haru-chan?” you asked worriedly, knowing he wasn’t so excited about coming along.
“Yeah, but I’m sure I’ll be fine since I’m with you.”
You simply smiled in response, grateful that he was willing to go out of his comfort zone for you. Despite being bashful by nature, he was never afraid to push himself whether it be for baseball, school, your relationship, or anything in between; it's one of the qualities you’d always admired about him.
Once the two of you got your skates and put them on, you took your time making your way over to the rink. You knew Haruichi well enough to see that even though he’d agreed to skate for your sake, he was still apprehensive about the situation, so you did your best to make him feel more at ease and calm his nerves.
“You’ll be okay,” you encouraged, gently squeezing his hand which was interlaced with yours while your other hand stroked over his bicep assuringly.
“Thanks,” he feigned a grin, hoping to hide how anxious he was, but unfortunately for him, you already knew how he was feeling. Approaching the entrance, you pulled him aside for a brief moment to give him a hug and a little pep talk before starting.
“No matter what happens, I won’t judge you or think any less of you. It’s okay to fall, as long as you don’t hurt yourself; it’s a part of the learning process so there’s no sense in feeling ashamed of it. Okay? You got this, Haruichi!”
Relief washed over you seeing that your pep talk was to some extent successful, judging from the seemingly confident nod he gave you in response. So with that, you led him back to the entrance of the rink where the two of you would finally skate together. You stepped onto the ice first and then held out a hand for Haruichi to hold while he adjusted to the slickness of the ice, though it didn’t take him very long to get the hang of it. Haruichi sandwiched himself between you and the wall as the two of you slowly and steadily made your way around the rink’s circumference, but he was able to stop relying on the wall before you guys had even fully circled around one time.
“You’re doing really well, y’know,” you praised, glancing over at the handsome pink haired boy, “Definitely better than You-san.”
Pointing a finger toward the other couple, Haruichi’s gaze followed, easily finding his brother along with Kuramochi who was struggling tremendously and clinging on to Ryousuke for dear life.
“Well…” Haruichi chuckled, “This is his first time. I’ve skated before… it’s just that I’m bad at it.”
“I don’t think you’re bad at it though. Look, you’re hardly even holding onto me anymore, just our hands. I think you’re just not confident.”
“I suppose you might be right…” he admitted with a shy grin, “Maybe I’ll try by myself for a bit.”
“You can do it! And I’ll be right here if you need,” you reassured, raising a fist in encouragement. You felt his grip on your hand start to loosen, but just before he let go, you heard a familiar voice yelling from behind you making you whip your head to see what was going on.
“RYOU-CHAN, TOO FAST, TOO FAST!” Kuramochi cried as Ryousuke dragged him down the length of the rink.
“You’re just a chicken,” Ryousuke teased back, having no intention of slowing down anytime soon.
“Haruichi!” you gasped, yanking him towards you and slamming yourself into the wall with Haruichi following behind and slamming into you.
“Youichi, watch where you’re going. You almost killed Haruichi,” you heard Ryousuke scold Kuramochi as they sped past you, making you let out an exasperated chuckle.
“I CAN’T WHEN YOU'RE PULLING ME SO FAST!”
“I’m sorry!” Haruichi panicked, pushing himself away from you, “I hit you kind of hard…”
“I’m the one who pulled you though,” you countered, pulling him back into you again and wrapping your arms around his waist, “You didn’t like the proximity?”
“N-no that’s not it… I was just worried that I might’ve hurt you…” he stuttered as his eyes darted away from yours, a tinge of pink quickly spreading across his cheeks.
“It’s so cute when you blush,” you giggled as you brushed a finger over his tinted skin.
“You’re not helping…”
“I thought I told you love birds to wait until we got back,” Ryousuke intruded, skating up to the two of you with his hands held behind his back.
“Aniki!” Haruichi jumped, stumbling a little as he backed away from you again.
“You guys really can’t keep your hands off each other, huh?” he smirked whilst cocking his head.
“Um…” you started, clearing your throat before speaking again, “Where’s You-san?”
“On the bench over there,” Ryousuke replied, pointing to a small seating area just outside of the rink, “He said he’s done for today. Since he’s a big baby, I was going to treat him to cocoa at a nearby cafe. You guys want to come?”
Haruichi and you quickly glanced at each other for confirmation, but on the inside, both of you already knew the answer. “Yes!” you both answered in unison before following Ryousuke out of the rink.
* * *
“So did you end up enjoying it, Haruichi?” Ryousuke spoke up first, the four of you sitting around the small cafe table sipping your cocoa.
“Mhm. It turns out y/n is a great teacher,” Haruichi replied happily as he turned his head towards you to acknowledge you.
“It was all you though,” you praised, not wanting him to sell himself short again.
“That’s good, I’m glad,” Ryousuke gave his younger brother a proud smile, “Youichi is a terrible student.”
“You’re a terrible teacher!” Kuramochi argued angrily and pouted at the older boy, “You just bullied me the entire time.”
“Masochists learn best through suffering, Youichi.”
“I’m not a masochist!”
“Okay, keep telling yourself that.”
While the other couple continued to bicker, you placed your hand over Haruichi’s before speaking, “I’m glad you had fun, Haru-chan. Would you be down to do this again next Christmas?”
“I didn’t think I’d ever say this about skating, but I’d love to. I think if I get more practice in, it could definitely become an enjoyable winter hobby for me.”
“Yay! It’s a plan then! And maybe next time, we can go without them,” you whispered, pointing toward the two men sitting across the table, “And we can go to a love motel after.” Throwing him a wink, a smile crept onto his face along with his signature rosy cheeks as he gave you a little nod.
“Sounds good to me.”
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alyas-ladyblog · 5 years ago
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A Not So Brief Hiatus P.5
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Ao3
Hey! Sorry for the delay. Here’s the update for ANSBH! Hope yall enjoy. As always likes/reblogs are always appreciated!
Alya choked on her tea.
“Rena? As in Rena Rouge?” She squeaked. “Sorry you got the wrong girl. I’m way too busy with my siblings and the Ladyblog to be–“
Fu raised his hand. “It’s alright Alya. Your secret’s safe with me.”
Alya sputtered. “There is no secret! I’m not Rena Rouge!”
Fu chuckled.
What tipped him off? Was it her voice? Her look? Did he just say it as a joke but her horrible poker face it away? Oh Ladybug was going to be horrified.
Fu cleared his throat.
“You can come out now,” he said. “It’s just Rena and I, her friend is in the kitchen.”
Alya looked around. “Who are you–“
An orange blur flew out of the phonograph, and buzzed around her head, coming to a stop in front of her face. It booped her nose.
“Heya kit!”
Alya’s eyes widened in shock. Floating by her nose was Trixx, face split with his signature cheeky grin.
“Trixx? What are you doing here?”
“Fu is an old friend of mine,” Trixx said, zipping over to the old man and sitting on his shoulder. “We’ve been friends for well over a century.”
Alya looked back and forth between the kwami and Fu.
She crossed her arms.
This was just like Trixx. He constantly tried to pull a fast one over her. And she’d only been a temporary holder! She couldn’t imagine what a permanent holder would have to go through.
“Trixx I know you’re joking. Tell me what’s going on.”
“Alas, he’s not,” Fu said.
Trixx stuck his tongue out at her. She rolled her eyes.
“Trixx and I have been friends since I was a boy,” Fu began. “I’m a member of The Order of the Guardians, an order dedicated to protecting, distributing and retrieving the miraculous jewels, as well as guiding those who hold a miraculous.”
He sighed. “I’m the last of my order,” he said sadly. “And as such, I’ve been so focused on protecting the miraculous, that I have let the other tasks take the back burner. Ladybug distributes the other miraculouses and retrieves them, and I have not made my presence known to the other holders. Until now.”
Alya’s mind raced a mile a minute as she tried to process the new information.
“So if Marinette brought me here...does she know who I am?”
Trixx coughed.
Fu took a long sip of his tea. “Your identity has not been compromised if that is what you’re asking,” he said. “The only people who know your identity are Ladybug, and me.”
Alya nodded, relieved. “Okay.” She took a breath. “You said you guide miraculous holders.”
Fu nodded. “That is part of my job, yes.”
“But,” Alya swallowed. “I’m–“
“Not a miraculous holder anymore, yes.”
Fu poured more tea into his cup. “Ladybug alerted me of your decision when she returned the miraculous to my possession.” He took a long sip of his tea. “I thought there must have been some mistake. You were a wonderful Fox. But Ladybug told me that you were experiencing personal turmoil, and thought it best to retire Rena. Ladybug and Trixx respect your decision, and so will I.”
Alya chewed on her lip.
She was happy with her decision, and she knew it was the right thing to do but...being here, hearing Master Fu’s disappointment and seeing Trixx again, she missed it.
“But,” Fu continued. “I am still here to counsel you if that is something you want. My counsel–drink some of your tea, while it’s still hot–is not limited to current holders.”
Alya took a sip of her tea. “So what would we be doing?”
“Meditating mostly,” Fu admitted. “I have found that guided meditation can be extremely useful for connecting with the spirit.”
“It’s good stuff. You should see when Ladybug does it, she really gets in the zone,” Trixx aside and Fu shushed him.
Alya giggled. The mental image of Ladybug meditating was funny. Especially if she stuck her tongue out the way she did when she was concentrating.
“Okay, that doesn’t sound too bad. Anything else?”
Fu tilted his head. “Guided self reflection, perhaps some acupuncture to help with your restless mind if you’re up for it,” he said.
Alya could admit, both sounded pretty appealing.
She sat up straight. “Hey you know, Marinette would make a great Fox!”
Fu cracked a smile. “Would she now?”
Alya nodded, excited. “Yeah! She’s creative, and brave, and not afraid to stand up for what’s right. She’d be perfect for the Fox.”
“I’m inclined to agree with you,” Fu responded. “But alas, the new Fox has already been chosen.”
Alya deflated. “Maybe another miraculous then,” she said.
Fu smiled wryly. “Perhaps. I will be sure to pass that recommendation on to Ladybug.”
Alya beamed. If she could hook her girl up with a miraculous, she knew Marinette would be amazing.
“But back to the matter at hand. I don’t expect you to decide if you want my guidance right away, but know if you ever want it, my door is always open.”
Alya nodded. “I would like your guidance,” she said.
Fu smiled. “Then let’s begin.
Marinette paced back and forth. “I don’t know Tikki, what if it was a bad idea to bring Alya here? What if she thinks I discovered her secret identity, or figured out I’m Ladybug and gets akumatized because I’m her best friend and didn’t tell her and then Hawkmoth knows my identity and then he begins targeting my family and friends until I’m forced to give up the earrings in order to protect the people I love? I can’t let Hawkmoth win!”
“And he won’t,” Tikki said firmly.
She popped a cookie into her mouth. “I’m sure Alya won’t find out your secret identity. And even if she did, she couldn’t be too upset with you, because she kept her identity secret from you too!”
Marinette’s paused. “But if she gets akumatized again, then Hawkmoth will know, even if I’m not the cause of it!”
“She won’t figure it out Marinette,” Tikki chirped. “Alya’s clever, but your story checks out. You did stop in during an akuma attack, and that’s when you met Master Fu! Trixx would be proud of that one,” the little god said with a smile.
Marinette sighed. “You’re right,” she said, flopping onto one of the stools. “I just can’t help but feel like something is going to go terribly wrong.”
Tikki hugged her cheek. “I’m sure everything will be fine Marinette.”
The two sat in comfortable silence, quietly munching on their cookies.
—-
“Truth or dare?”
Marinette smiled. The two had finished their homework, played some video games, and were sitting together on Marinette’s balcony.
It was only a matter of time before someone brought up truth or dare.
“Dare.”
Alya grinned. “I dare you to scream that you love Chat Noir at the top of your lungs.”
Marinette’s eyes bulged. “Alya it’s midnight. I’ll wake up my neighbors!”
Her friend grinned. “It’s Paris on a Friday night. Not even my sisters are asleep.”
Marinette chewed on her cheek.
He wasn’t the worst person to be declaring her love for but...with everything that had happened with her dad and Chat, she wasn’t so sure.
She exhaled. “Fine.”
Marinette stood up, and walked over to the railing.
She took a deep breath in.
“I LOVE CHAT NOIR!” She screamed.
A voice sounded from below.
“Me too, you’re not special!”
Marinette and Alya looked at one another.
And burst out laughing.
The two laughed so hard their ribs ached, and their eyes teared.
They laughed so hard that they gasped for air, and Alya got the hiccups, which prompted a new wave of hysterics from Marinette.
And at the end of it, Marinette was hunched over, still holding onto the railing for balance, and Alya was sprawled out on the sling chair catching her breath.
Marinette stood, and leaned back on the railing.
“Your turn.”
Alya pursed her lips. “Truth.”
Marinette grinned. “How’s it going with Nino?”
Alya’s cheeks flushed. “It’s going good,” she said with a soft smile. “We’re settling into being together, so I think we’ve been communicating better lately than we have in the past.”
She hummed.
“I’m working on being kinder to him,” Alya added. “Growing up in a big family, teasing and empty threats were a way to express affection you know? But that’s not how every relationship works, and I need to keep that in mind.”
Alya sat up in the chair. “Anyways, your turn.”
Marinette tapped her lips. As tempting as it was to try another dare, she didn’t feel like getting a citation for disturbing the peace, or doing something too stupid this late in the night.
“Truth.”
Alya chewed on her lip for a second.
“If you could be any hero in Paris, who would you be and why?”
Marinette felt her heart skip four or five beats.
She pondered for a second.
The obvious choice for most people would be Ladybug. She was the hero of creation, and a Parisian icon. But would choosing her increase the chance of Alya putting two and two together?
Chat Noir would be another good option. His baton, fun costume and power of destruction made him a force to be reckoned with. But at the same time, she couldn’t imagine anyone but Chat being the Black Cat.
Rena and Carapace were interesting, but unbalanced. Rena relied on distance and deception: the second you know she’s there, the jig is up. Carapace was almost entirely defense, which would limit her involvement in the fight.
Queen Bee...
Marinette shuddered.
Queen Bee was Chloe.
Next.
Bunnix was fun, but time paradoxes were messy and anxiety inducing.
Pegasus’ weapons and powers combined would make her a formidable foe, and a good ambush hero. But her clumsiness sometimes carries over with Ladybug, and teleporting while clumsy sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Viperion’s ability was cool, but his weapon was a lyre.
“I think I’d have to go with Roi Singe,” Marinette said. “The powers seem cool, I love the costume, and the staff allows for both close and medium range combat.”
Alya nodded thoughtfully.
“Ok, truth or dare?”
“Truth.”
“What did you do with Mister Fu?”
Alya sat in silence for a second, and Marinette began to panic. What if her nosiness was suspicious and Alya figured out she was Ladybug? Oh god.
“We just kind of talked,” Alya responded. “He asked me some questions, I answered them, and we kept doing that. It was actually really soothing,” she admitted.
Marinette smiled, and the pressure in her chest loosened. She was glad that Alya found Master Fu useful. Hopefully, that guidance would help her find peace.
“Your turn.”
“Truth.”
“How do you feel about Adrien? You know, with the whole Lila thing and him not backing you up.”
Marinette rubbed her neck. Wasn’t that the question of the hour.
She’d spent the better part of a month pondering that, making excuses for him and letting Lila walk all over her. Plus, Adrien was her friend. He’d never do something that would hurt her.
But seeing Alya’s reaction the other day when Marinette said Adrien knew and hadn’t bothered to back her up...
It muddied the waters a bit, validated that little voice in the back of her head that told her that what Adrien was doing wasn’t right, wasn’t fair.
That she deserved better.
“Honestly I’m conflicted,” she said finally. “Adrien’s heart is in the right place, but what he’s doing to keep the peace is hurting those around him. The promise he made that we’d be there together...I don’t think he took it seriously. I feel...a bit betrayed? I don’t know if that makes sense.”
“It makes perfect sense,” Alya said, getting up and leaning forward on the railing near Marinette. “He broke a promise. I think you’re right, I think his heart is in the right place. But Adrien is naive,” Alya said, resting her head on Marinette’s shoulder. “He wants to see the good in people, even those who don’t deserve his kindness. What you’re feeling is valid.”
Marinette nodded.
“Truth or Dare?”
“Truth.”
Marinette looked Alya dead in the eye. “What was the appeal of Lila?”
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neen-writes · 7 years ago
Text
Iron Legends: Reforged -- Chapter 15
Series: Fairy Tail
Characters: Gajeel, Levy, plus appearances from Natsu and Lucy.
Genre: Hurt/comfort, Sci-fi
Summary: The old lab had always been fuel for a good story, something you would half-heartedly joke about going to sometime.  Some did, and when they came back they never talked about it again.  The legends circulated, telling of ghosts, monsters, and anything else someone would be likely to conjure up about an abandoned building.  But even with all the stories meant to keep everyone away, there are still those for whom the intrigue is too tempting.  
Read the Reforged chapters on FFnet here, Ao3 here, and read the entire original story here!!  AND find this fic’s soundtrack here!
Note: Here it is!  I found my motivation to finish this edit in all of your words of support.  You guys are the best, honestly, and I am so lucky to have you all in this community,  Every one of you who said something, even just in tags, made me want to finish this.  I struggled with editing this chapter and making enough changes because I love this part of the story so much as is, but I think I managed to throw in a little bit of new stuff!  That all said, It would mean a lot of yall left kudos or comments on this chapter on Ao3, or if you want a little giggle then read my foreword for this chapter update over there.  Because I have decided I do NOT care what little trolls on the internet say and I will NOT let them steal this hobby from me, or chase me away from something I SO love doing.  ANYWAY, I hope yall enjoy!
Ch. 1  Ch. 2  Ch. 3  Ch. 4 Ch. 5 Ch. 6 Ch. 7 Ch. 8 Ch. 9 Ch.10 Ch. 11 Ch. 12 Ch. 13 Ch. 14
“Chief!”  The young lieutenant’s voice called out across the snow, echoing inside the building where Igneel found himself supervising.  “Come see this!”  The urgency in his voice brought the red-head outside quickly, trudging through the white frost.
“What have you found, Laharl?” he asked, eyes scanning the area around them.  The other officer regarded him with a furrowed brow, standing over a specific area in the snow.  Other officers had fanned out over the rest of the property, seeking any clues or signs of activity.
“Signs of a struggle,” Laharl replied.  He gestured with his hands at areas of the snow that were shallower than the rest, even though a fresh layer of snow had settled over it.   “If we had come here maybe a day later, we might not have noticed this at all, the new snow would have covered it,” he explained, “From what I can see there is a definite trail from that window,”  Laharl pointed, then trailed his finger in the direction that followed the set of indentations, “To around here where it looks like the struggle took place in this entire area.  Right now it looks to be a radius of about 100 feet, but there might be even more.  You can almost see the soil underneath in some places.”
“Do you think it was the girl?” Igneel questioned.  To his initial disappointment, his lieutenant shook his head.
“No.  These are too large to have been her, based on her description, but it doesn’t rule out that she was here.  I’d wager these tracks are male by the size, and there are multiple sets.”  Laharl adjusted his glasses, glancing at the intrigued chief.  “There was definitely more than one person here, I’d say no more than a day ago judging by the snow cover.  They left in that direction,” he pointed towards the back perimeter, with the open gate, “And the tracks turn to tire imprints.”
A concerned scowl fell onto Igneel’s features, and he crossed his arms.  “Does any of this help us?”
There was a heavy pause from the younger man, before he stepped over to another area of snow that looked to have been freshly disturbed by him earlier.  The red-head followed close behind, less than thrilled by the hesitation.  “Depends how we’re defining helpful,” he said lowly, as he gestured to a spot in the snow that stopped Igneel straight in his tracks.  
There was a large, pink area in the ice.  The area of discoloration seemed to be the epicenter of the disturbances in the snow, and where Laharl had moved the fresher powder, he could see the more distinct, deep crimson beneath.  Now almost turning black with time.
“God damn it…” Igneel hissed under his breath, running a weary hand through his red locks.  Between the signs of struggle they had found in Levy’s home, and now this… things were not looking good.  In any respect.  But with the discovery of the blood, they had just been given their cause to travel to Hargeon.  “Have you—“
Laharl held up a small, labeled glass vial, with watery red contents within.  “Already done.  The chill of the snow will have helped preserve the sample, we have a good chance of running it for a match.  I’ve already taken photos of the scene as well.”
Igneel nodded, at the very least proud of his officer’s efficiency.  Makaraov had made a good call recommending him.  But now, he had to work hard to steady his breathing.  I can’t let Natsu find this out,  he thought, only able to imagine the reaction from his equally fiery son.  “Put a STAT on that sample, I want it processed as soon as possible.  Make sure all of this,” he waved to the area around them, “Finds its way into the report and nowhere else but Makaraov’s desk.   The results as well.  If we can match it to Levy or any of the missing people we have our case.”  A curt nod from Laharl ended the conversation, and Igneel turned from him to leave.  
Even with the rush on the evidence, it would at least be another day or so until they got a match, regardless of how promising all this was.  And even more time after that to present and evaluate all of the evidence for the case.   We don’t have that kind of time. With the most chilling piece of the puzzle uncovered, the entire tone of the investigation had changed.  Levy’s well being had become significantly more urgent.
They were now walking a very fine line between a rescue, or a recovery mission.  And he hoped with everything he had that it was former.
By her count, it was day three when he brought her up from bed rest again to show her the training hall he had mentioned the day before.
In front of her was a large, thick glass panel that extended across the wall in front of them.  The room they were in was fairly small, only large enough for a few people, and an equally small control panel was just in front of the window.  Jose had positioned himself there shortly after they entered, and Levy looked down through the window at the large open space below.  Is this an arena?  Levy swallowed hard.
“I want you to see his progress.  What a difference another day can make,” the scientist spoke with his back to her, eagerly looking down at the arena. Levy didn’t even bother to look at the man, remaining stiff in front of the window.  She was going to see him...   “Among other things.  But I needn’t bother you with the technical details…”
At first glance, the empty room just appeared to be an expansive, round area. However, multiple compartments lining the walls, and a large set of doors on opposite ends of the room hinted there was more to it.  She leaned forward to try and look at the ceiling, which was vaulted high enough make her think all the combat in here would not be limited to the ground.  The only details she could make out at the top were some air vents; exhaust ducts maybe.  They almost look like the vents in a chemistry hood… she thought, wondering what could possibly happen within that would require that kind of ventilation.  “I take it no one can see into this room, just out?” she asked, tight-lipped.
“Of course,” he replied quickly.
He loves this.  He’s playing with me by showing this to me.  He could just as easily lock me up and keep me away.  Or worse, turn me into one of his subjects…  she thought bitterly, her eyes sweeping the room around them briefly.   Levy couldn’t have been more powerless here, but it didn’t stop her from studying her surroundings every chance she got.  
Memorizing the way to every location, watching the fingers punching codes into every key-pad, and making note of each control system she could identify.    The blunette was building a mental map, and marking the spots of interest along the way.  If she was given a piece of paper, she’d be able to draw the entire layout of what she had thus far seen from memory, down to the last detail.
Levy was broken from her thoughts by a loud, echoing click, and watched the doors on either side of the room open slowly.  From one door, a lithe man with blonde hair stepped through.  She squinted to get a better look at him, noticing that the empty expression on his face was eerily similar to Rogue’s, and she realized she had seen him in the holding wing the day before.  He had no restraints on his hands, but judging by the blank look on his face, it didn’t seem like he needed it.  A model, conditioned citizen.
“X773, our light user.  One of my proudest conditioning products next to our dear Rogue.  The two work quite well together actually, we were able to forge a very interesting dynamic with them and their original conditioning process.  And they are quite easy to bait against one another, should one ever seek to act up,” Jose chimed in, but Levy’s eyes were fixed on the other set of doors, barely registering what he told her.  She knew who was meant to come through, she wouldn’t have been there otherwise, and she wasn’t ready for it.  “He responds well to Sting,” Jose added, bringing her back to the other man.
The blonde stood, composed, staring at the darkness beyond the other doorway.
Sure enough, a large figure slowly ambled out of the dark, feet dragging on the ground.  The sight of him struck her cold to her core.  Subconsciously, Levy stepped forward to see him better.  
His hair was even wilder than it was when they met, concealing much of his face.  His entire posture was that of submission, shoulders hunched and cuffed arms hanging limply in front of him. Gajeel stopped in the light, and the door slid shut behind him with a loud boom that didn’t even make him flinch.
Levy’s eyes shifted to Jose, watching him punch something into the pad by the window.  A buzz followed, and suddenly the box-cuffs released from Gajeel remotely, dropping to the floor.  
There was a moment where she looked between the two of them, and the setting where they now stood opposite one another, with nothing else in the room.  The realization dawned on her heavily, like a slap in the face.  “You’re… fighting them?” Levy breathed, finally understanding the purpose of the setup, and connecting it to the ‘trials’ she had read in the journals.
“Testing them,” Jose corrected,  “How else are we to keep them sharp, and show prospective buyers how their merchandise can perform in combat?”
“What if they refuse?” Levy’s eyes focused on the motionless iron dragon.
“They don’t.”
Another loud buzz filled the room, and the blonde immediately put his hands out to his sides.  It seemed that the noise signaled the beginning of the test, but Gajeel had yet to respond like he intended to participate.  
There was a brief hesitation, before the other man rushed his opponent, closing the distance as a blur with hands glowing white.  Only a puff of dust indicated where he had stood seconds before.
Her stomach dropped when Gajeel flew to the side, impacting the side wall with such force she could hear the boom reverberate around them.  He slumped to the floor, and rolled over slowly, barely trying to haul himself up onto his elbows.  Sting cast his eyes in their direction, knowing he was being watched even if he could not see.  There was something expectant in his gaze, seeking either instruction or approval.
She could hear an annoyed growl from the scientist next to her, who reached for the same control pad and pressed a different key.  “Continue!” he barked, and immediately the light-user whirled for Gajeel.  So obedient, no questioning.
An intercom system?  Must be one way unless he presses that button to speak,  Levy thought, before the next burst of movement drew her attention back to the room.  She began to wonder what Jose had meant about him using Sting and Rogue against each other.  Could it be… how he used me against Gajeel?  The journals had mentioned them being siblings… would he go so far as threaten them?  To get the other to perform?  The overwhelming answer in her head was yes.  He would go that far.  Even farther.
The fight was a total sweep.  Several minutes felt like hours as Sting thrashed a non-responsive Gajeel, throwing him back and forth across the room.  Every strike he made on the iron dragon was accompanied with a flash of white light, and for a split second Levy admired how brilliant it was.  But he eventually stopped even using his own abilities, and just fists alone.  At best Gajeel rolled once, and she could hear a deep, sickening groan of pain.  But nothing else.  He didn’t even try to block.
The tension from Jose only seemed to build, and he shot a sharp glance at Levy, looking at her in a way that implied he was trying to think of something.  Almost like he had started to blame her for Gajeel’s disappointing ‘performance.’  Looking back to the comm, he spoke into it again.  “Enough!”  The doors on either side of the room opened back up.  “Place his restraints back on and proceed back into your hall.”  Sting, without hesitation, retrieved the apparatus and placed it back over the barely conscious man’s hands.  Grabbing him by the arm, he dragged him to the one set of open doors and tossed him within, before proceeding back to his own exit.
On day four, Jose didn’t come for her.  But on day five, she was brought to the same place, to watch the same event unfold.  Sting adeptly tossed a weakened Gajeel, and she found herself unable to watch.  The match was significantly shorter than the first.
Day six was Rogue.  When the buzzer signalled the start of the match, he did not rush his battered opponent as eagerly as his brother had.  The moment of hesitation did not go unnoticed by neither Levy or Jose, but it only took shouted commands from the scientist to ultimately do as he was told.  Albeit, with a great deal less intensity than the previous battle with Gajeel at the lab.  More than once it had been clear that he was pulling his punches, less inclined to attack the already downed dragon.  Almost as though something had been taken from him in that first fight.  Or given.
It took one hit with a tendril of black energy to knock Gajeel down with no sign of getting back up.  Barely even a groan.  Rogue stood there, staring almost anxiously at the window, waiting for a command to either proceed, or put him away.  By that time, Jose was in a near fury, pacing violently.  He muttered something about deprivation and failures, and Levy took note of how easily he lost his proud composure when the world did not operate as he saw fit.  “God damn useless…” he muttered, “I will not waste him…!”  The scientist whirled to the control panel and hit the intercom, “Put him back and return to your entry!”  
Rogue did as he was told using his shadows to place his restraints back on and drag him back into his hallway, while the shadow-user turned wordlessly to his own.
“The reintroduction to the treatments should not be this debilitating.  He should at least have some residual responses from his past conditioning!” he hissed under his breath, barely pausing in his pacing.  He turned his aggravation to Levy, “That useless animal has one last chance to get himself together before I ‘bring you back to life’ and put you in there with Rogue and let him watch.  I will not let this turn into wasted time and funds!” he snapped, causing her to back away from him with horrified understanding on her features.  She knew he planned to use her in some way against Gajeel, the way he used the brothers against each other, but the way he planned to struck her with renewed fear.
As long as he was using Gajeel, in any manner, he needed her on standby.  Because she was his control on the iron dragon.  Even if he had already exerted her effect on Gajeel, Jose had no plans on letting it stop there.  If Gajeel continued to defy him, if he lashed out and lost it, Jose could just use her at a moment’s notice, and she couldn’t even be sure if that would stop him at this point.  If Gajeel continued to do anything but what the scientist wanted, Jose planned to use her.  In whatever manner he needed to.  And the idea of being in the same space as Rogue again kept her up that entire night.
It was another full day before she saw Jose again, thankfully.  She’d gotten not a wink of sleep, and spent the day in the infirmary feeling miserable, staring at the ceiling.  Jose’s warning hung heavy on her, and every time she tried to close her eyes in the night, all she saw was Rogue and his weapons flying for her, igniting a throb of pain in her shoulder.  The threat of her being exposed—completely unprotected this time—to that again was enough to keep her tossing through the night.
Her reprieve from the scientist’s torment, however, was short-lived.  She was fetched again the next day, and found herself staring again at the arena.  He had less to say to her this time, and just stared seriously into the space below.  He seemed more expectant, and more tense.
The familiar click and hiss of the releasing doors finally echoed around them, and she watched the dark exits anxiously.  First, an auburn-haired man emerged into the area, walking smoothly and confidently, head high.  Levy vaguely remembered seeing him when she was in the holding wing, and wondered why Jose would switch opponents on the last trial.  Is this is trump card to get Gajeel to do what he wanted? she thought.
The blunette leaned forward with intrigue to look him over.  He had the same hand restraints that Gajeel usually wore, but shockingly had also had a metal mask over his mouth that locked behind his head.  With the additional restraint, she wondered how much difficulty this subject gave them in comparison to Gajeel.  From what she could see, one eye was forced shut by a thin, pink scar that ran down the side of his face, and by his walk he seemed very familiar with the setup.  Although at the moment, it did not seem that he had any intentions of being anywhere but there.  He raised his arms and tilted his head, staring at the window patiently waiting for them to be released.
“X791.  Our toxin user, though he seems to far more enjoy basic combat,” Jose spoke up, “But more importantly, infuriating enough to make me want to hit him. Another who shows great promise in ability but resists conditioning with gusto… if anyone is going to ignite our dear beast, it’s him,” he explained.  “Calls himself Cobra, for some reason he doesn’t bother to go by his real name.”
Shortly after, Gajeel entered.  Or rather, staggered his way in.  The flesh that she could see was blossoming with purple bruises, and fresh scabs littered his skin.  His legs shook and almost gave out more than once waiting for the match to begin.  As the doors closed behind them, Jose hit the same command that released the restraints as before, freeing both subjects.
The one-eyed man lifted his hands and rubbed his wrists, focusing on Gajeel and giving him a once over.  She could hear a chuckle through the speakers, surprised that he had made any sound at all with how silent Rogue and Sting had been.  There was life--no--individuality in his eyes.
“I’d heard that you’d come back,” the sly man called out to Gajeel, who seemed to flinch at the sound of another’s voice.  At least it was some sign of life.  “How nice of you to join us.  Here to fuck up our chances at freedom again?” Cobra tilted his head, a single violet eye scrutinizing the silent beast across from him.  The lack of answer or even an acknowledgment of any kind brought a scowl to his face, and as the buzzer sounded, he rushed Gajeel with unbridled eagerness.
Levy watched with a painful sense of déjà vu as Gajeel shot back into the doors he had come through, and Cobra stood for just a brief moment with a knee raised from the kick.  
“Fight back,” he ordered in a half growl as he strode towards the slumped figure.  He stood over Gajeel, reaching down to grab the front of his tattered shirt, lifting him off the ground with a strained heave and spinning him to put his back to the room.  “Would you fight if I told you a secret?” Cobra whispered to him with an ever so slight tilt of his head.  There was no response.  “Pff.  Suit yourself.”  He pulled back a fist, and in another blur, Gajeel was flying back across the length of the room.
She didn’t know how much more of this she could take.  She felt like she was drowning in her inability to do anything about this torture, and the other man hadn’t even shown any of his abilities yet. “He’s not…”  Levy had started to say, and an annoyed grumble answered her, cutting her off.
“He will,” Jose snapped.  “Just wait.”
Cobra rolled his head, cracking his neck, and glared at the pathetic lump on the floor across the arena.  He knew Gajeel before.  What he had been before the collapse.  He’d seen that beast in his cage, he’d even faced him once before.  There was a fire in his eyes that had never gone out, a hatred that fueled him every day and turned him more and more into an uncontrollable animal, all the way until he found a way to channel that rage to try and engineer an escape.  That man was not the same one that was in front of him now.  A mere husk, just existing and waiting to die was what faced him.
And it infuriated him.  He would not let him just give up, they had no chance otherwise.  Giving up let them win.  The brothers were a lost cause, and he had not seen the powerhouse since they were moved here, which left him as the one beacon of defiance against these monsters.  Damned if he would allow Gajeel to join those obedient ranks.
“Fight back, damn it.  Quit wallowing and fight me!  Coward!” he snarled, rushing again.  “No wonder you couldn’t protect her!”  He threw a kick towards the side of the downed man, but his eye widened when an iron hand took hold of his ankle.  Cobra’s violet eyes met with blazing red ones, glowing in the shadow of his face.  Fangs glistened in an animal snarl that cut through the air as a sudden and involuntary chill shot through him.  There he is, he thought, just before he was violently yanked to the side and found himself impacting the wall for a change.
Levy stared, wide-eyed, at the sudden change.  She saw, right in front of her, the effect she had on him.
Cobra coughed to regain his breath but recovered quickly, and watched the iron beast slowly pull himself to his feet, remaining hunched and swaying gently on his feet.  Gajeel looked completely feral; everything in his demeanor, even the atmosphere changed.  Iron scales spread quickly over his body, and his hands flexed threateningly as he rolled his shoulders with a deep, rumbling growl.  He tightened into a stance, planting his feet firmly on the ground.  “How... do you know that?” he hissed, his voice reverberating in his chest.
Cobra shook off his surprise and the brewing wariness in his gut.  “Don’t you remember?  And we were so close once,” Cobra teased, “I hear everything,” the poison user smirked, a dark miasma beginning to swirl around his hands.
That answer wasn’t good enough, as Gajeel coiled and rushed forward at the same time as Cobra.  The serpent dropped and slid at the last instant, dodging an overhead punch as he threw a maroon wave up at the dragon’s chin.  The iron dragon flew straight upwards towards the high ceiling, but quickly oriented himself in the air such that the balls of his feet hit the roof and absorbed the impact.   With a roar, he shot straight back down at Cobra before he even had time to shift from the previous attack.
A cloud of the toxic miasma exploded outwards shrouded them both, and Cobra let out a shaky breath, crouching mere feet from where the iron dragon had hit.  The outward wave had been just enough to redirect an attack he otherwise might not have been fast enough to evade.  In the dark, he saw glowing eyes swing towards him, iron bands already locked over his nose and mouth to avoid breathing in the poison.  Cobra beat him to the next attack, launching a shoulder charge straight at his chest.  Gajeel was thrust back by what looked like a missile of toxic vapor, with Cobra at its center.  The iron dragon’s back hit the wall once more, but without wasting a second, he lashed out to take Cobra by the throat and swing him outwards to the right onto the wall next to him.  
Gajeel released him, only long enough to push off the wall, spin, and position himself back in front of Cobra and take him by the neck again.  Effortlessly, he slid and lifted his panting opponent up the wall by the suffocating grip and held him there, gradually tightening his hold.  Immediately the miasma dissipated, no longer maintained by the user who was now just struggling to breathe.  With his free hand, Gajeel ripped away the bands from the lower half of his face and released several heavy breaths to make up for what he held in.  
His head burned with the desire to destroy his opponent, thinking of nothing else but killing what threatened him.  Every blow, every surge of pain and agony over the last few days only fueled his rage.  No other coherent thought existed besides winning.  Every sense was electrified with fury, and the “Enough!” over the intercom was only a tiny echo in the back of his tempestuous thoughts.  He couldn’t even put together his own words, not sure if he’d be able to get out more than incoherent snarls.
Levy was stunned to silence and shallow breaths by the brutality that she had just witnessed.  It seemed like it had gone on forever, but in reality it hadn’t even been five minutes.  Who was this?  Was this what they had wanted him to be?  She’d never seen her dragon this way, but some part of her knew that this was always in him.  She’d read the journals, read the article about the collapse.  And even if he wasn’t the one that killed all those people, he had started it.  And here he was, looking barely human, set off by the mere mention of her.  
At first, Jose seemed completely satisfied by the change.  Like this was exactly what he had expected would happen.  But with Gajeel hovering over a struggling Cobra, not responding to his commands, he became frantic.
“Th-that secret!” Cobra coughed out, grasping uselessly at the iron arm that held him.  His voice, literally strangled, wasn’t loud enough to be picked up by the comm to the observation room, especially with Jose as distracted as he was.  “Don’t you—“
Gajeel barked a vicious snarl at Cobra, threatening him to shut up immediately.  Permanently.  But the man continued to resist, coughing out words. ‘I said enough!’ The voice called out again overhead, unheeded.  
“Damn it,” Jose hissed under his breath.  “This was the exact problem as…”  The man shook his head, using different keys on the pad now, not seeming to be able to punch them fast enough to keep up with the subjects below.
Using his last bit of strength, Cobra used a weak pulse of his miasma to push against Gajeel, loosening his grip only enough for Cobra to slip out and drop back onto his feet.  The man lurched forward, taking Gajeel by the shoulders before he could react.  “She’s here, you idiot,” he whispered quickly into Gajeel’s ear, knowing they didn’t have much time.  
As Cobra staggered back against the wall, the dragon threw him a demanding look with some semblance of humanity returning to his features.  The iron scales immediately gave way to flesh, and every bit of feral rage he felt started to melt away.  He staggered slightly on his feet, sides heaving as the adrenaline left him with only a nauseating twist in his gut.  Those four words had knocked the wind out of him, completely.  “I told you.  I hear everything,” Cobra hissed.
At that moment, two of the several compartments in the walls on either side of the fighters opened.  Levy watched what appeared to be two narrow barrels emerge and point abruptly to the subjects.  Two quiet shots and a sharp sudden pain brought both of them to the floor.  Regardless, Cobra fought as long as he could to keep talking.  “Now, you better learn how to use that again and get us out of here... They still don’t know, what you did that day… and you’re not… the only one he stole someone from…”  he mumbled, feeling consciousness leave him quickly with the effects of the tranquilizers.
Before losing himself entirely, Gajeel turned his heavy eyes to the tinted window raised up on the wall above them.  ‘She’s here, you idiot.’
It was thankfully an action whose intent was not caught by the researcher next to Levy.   It couldn’t have been.  Because she knew her dragon better than he ever would.  
The look in his eyes was enough to leave her feeling completely exposed.  He’d never have to speak the words for her to know what he said with that look.
I’m coming for you.
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bolbianddolanhouse · 5 years ago
Text
BNHA self insert AU
New to the AU? Start here!
Part1 Part2
Chapter 40.75: Step the FUCK Up Kyle!
The two arrive at the venue after everyone thanks to Jin’s portal express. Seeing everyone have fun sparked joy and even more excitement for the future. There was no gift or money giving because both of us were well off and just wanted everyone to attend. No garter toss because Tenya drinks respect women juice but I did toss the bouquet. That turned out to be a disaster because Pixie Bob, Midnight and some of the other single heroes were fighting each other for it. Then came my favorite part, the couples dance. We danced to Around by Niki with a slide-show of pictures on the screen behind us. We did a bunch of fancy floating moves with our quirks and we finally had our slow dance kiss at the end. Then came cake, it was almost too pretty to eat and I got a little dodgy when we were supposed to feed a piece to each other. The wedding photographer unfortunately captured all that nervousness but it was funny to look back at. I did so much dancing and drinking with my agent friends that Tenya had to take care of me toward the end of the night. We said our goodbyes and thank yous before going home.
“Tenya! I love you bitccchhh!” I was drunkenly serenading him.
“I know you do”
“I’m never gonna stop loving you, bitccchhhhh!”
Tenya was trying to undo the straps on my dress “Hold still, I’m trying to get you out of your dress.”
“Oh I’ll just-” I teleport out of my dress with just my underwear on “oops, I’m nakey hehehe.”
“Ah so that’s how you do it” he finally figured out my secret to fast undressing and dressing “you teleport in and out of clothes!”
“Yup” I teleport out of my underwear “now I’m true nakey” I throw myself onto Tenya “I’m not a virgin but I want you to do me like one.”
“No darling, you’re drunk” he took off his suit jacket “but if you wait a bit, we can bathe together.”
“Will you wash my hair?”
“Yes”
“Will you take off my makeup?”
“Of course, I’ll even do your skincare” He hoisted her up and took her to the bath “you want me to braid your hair after?”
“Yes please” I respond as I watch him make the bath “would you still love me if I was a boy?”
“Yes of course!” Tenya looked at her “I fell in love with the person you are.”
“Would you still love me if I wasn’t rich or successful?”
“I loved you before the riches and success, regardless, my heart is yours.”
The bath was ready and I didn’t have anymore questions, just too much affection as he tried to bathe me. I didn’t even remember what I said when I was drunk, I blacked out at the venue when Mimi and I pounded shots while the DJ played some oldies. Next thing I knew I was waking up next to Tenya with a bunch of love marks and bites on him. We went on a honeymoon to a government protected piece of coast where anybody can use their quirks, it was one of those quirk tourism things that peaked my interest. We spent our time getting drunk and beating the other couples at the quirk games that were being hosted. Just a whole week of just that, then things got pretty serious work wise when we got back.
-Robo Dog INC offices-
“Not to cause alarm” Beizu spoke up after reviewing some spreadsheets “but we can’t keep up with demand.”
“Oh shit really?” I questioned as I leaned over to see the sheets “fuuuck you right, does that mean we’re closing off or postponing consultations?”
“Closing off for 3 months at least!” He rubbed his face “I have some this week then I’ll be turning away people for robo companion.”
“How about you just schedule them 4 months out?”
“That might be a better idea” He sipped his coffee “but we need to start looking into expand the work floor” he sets his empty cup down “we can’t hire more people to work until we have the space for more.”
“I know! But to be honest, all the bigger buildings are too far to my liking” I slumped in my chair “I have to wait for a nearby one to go on the market.”
The company was in need of a lot of things in terms of expanding but I didn’t want to start any of it yet. And it was a good thing I didn’t because there was a rise in the villain world. The League of Villains recruited more people for an uprising and Black Phantom was called upon to take it down from the inside.
“I really wish we could’ve just sniped the hand-man while we had the chance” Jin sighed as he put on his gear “then maybe everything would be at peace.”
“Yea but he’s a good source of intel” I responded “but you know the goal for tonight, we get the hot one with the bird-mask and get out.”
“Why the fuck do all the villains gotta be so hot!” complained Mimi as she loaded her holsters “it’s not fair!”
“Can we refocus please?” I sternly snapped “we’re close to the hideout, if we get lucky, we could smoke them out again.” I lowered my visor “voice changers on yall, it’s go time!”
We raid the place silently and it seemed almost too easy this time but it was easy. Who knew that everyone was sleeping with no guard? I floated us in and once we found the person of interest, Jin just floor portaled them to the holding cell and we followed after.
“Oh man that was scary easy” I was in disbelief “did yall see all the spooning going on?”
“Yea! That was weird as hell but oddly cute” Mimi commented “speaking of oddly cute, who is this perp?”
“This is Kai Chisaki, aka Overhaul” I pull up the criminal record “he was responsible for some black market quirk erasing bullets and one count of child endangerment.” I show them the picture of the victim “you remember this little girl? The one the green twink and naked man rescued?”
“OH I remember! Poor girl was in pretty bad shape but she’s all grown up now!” Jin recalled “so this is the man that got away?”
“Yea apparently after Mirio got his quirk taken away but just before the green one ran off with the girl” I put the holding cell on lockdown “this guy and Nighteye fought but then he ran off and disappeared before he sustained serious damage. And he remained at large for years, almost cold cased until the new intel on the League.”
Mimi peered into the holding cell “Why are all the hot ones the most fucked up?!” she watched him thrash about “so we’re just gonna leave this one up to the interrogation team huh?” I nod in response, she sighs “are you going to pay a visit to the little girl?”
“Yup but this time I’m not going to dread this house visit” I smile “Aizawa got full custody of her when she turned 10 and she’s like 14 now.”
-Two Days later-
“It’s so nice to see you again Miss Palma!” Eri excitedly exclaimed “er, I should say Mrs Iida!”
I stifle my laugher “Oh it’s nice to see you too Eri!” I get pounced on by the girl “very lively! But I don’t have much time to play I’m afraid” I turn to Aizawa “thank you for letting me visit today, I know it’s your day off and you much rather nap.”
“Not a problem! You’re allowed to disrupt my free days” he motions me to sit in the living room “Eri, would you please serve the tea?” We sit as Eri walks out of earshot “Soooo, are we expecting another turbo child?”
I choke on air “Oh you got me fucked up! I’m not pregnant” I chuckled “sorry to disappoint but I don’t want a child just yet” I look at the picture on his end table of him, Mic, Eri and Shinso “children don’t just magically appear at my doorstep for me to care for like you!”
“Well, I was excited to be a grandpa, because I’d still be hot” he joked as Eri came back with tea “Okay then, what do you need to tell us?”
“Thank you Eri” I politely accepted her pour of tea “it’s about Overhaul, I caught him and is under custody in our facilities.”
“You’ve done it?!” Aizawa almost spilled tea on himself “how? The Hero Society deemed it cold-case!”
“I’ve been gaining intel from the League and other villain groups for years now via a spy” I sip tea “the moment we got word that the League was hiding him with confirmed sighting, my team and I swooped in and captured him” I hand him a folder “here, I know you’ve been working tirelessly to solve this for her sake. You’d be surprised what we found.”
“I don’t believe it!” he skimmed the pages “he’s been hiding right under our noses, of course Hawks had something to do with it!” he closes the folder “does that mean Eri can-”
“Yes, it means that Eri can attend a hero academy if she wishes to do so” I smiled as I finished his sentence “it also means that she no longer needs protected accompaniment, can travel beyond the 10 mile radius and can apply of a drivers license when she’s of age.”
“I can go to the mall by myself?!” Eri perked up “and I can go to UA?!” she turns to Aizawa, starry eyed.
“You’re not going to the mall by yourself! I’ll always be there with you” he said sternly but then chuckled “but yes you can go to UA, and just in time too! Entrance exams are coming up.”
“YAY! Thank you so much Mrs Iida!” she pounces on me again for a hug “I promise to do my best for all you’ve done for me!”
“Oh you sweet child” I start to tear up “it’s not a problem! I know you’ll do your best.” We say our goodbyes and I make my way home. It’s October now and I’m so satisfied with my life. At least, as much as I can control it. It’s been a month since the last I’ve heard from my caseworker about everything back home. Nothing has gotten better, more people I knew had fled their homes, leaving their parents behind in all the violence. It seems hopeless and I wish I could do something to help. At least my family is safe and getting by, I send them money so they can live as comfortably as they did when we lived in the old house. I miss my old home but I’m more excited to establish family to make it more homely.
“How was the visit?” asked Tenya, breaking my train of thought.
“Oh it was great!” I stretch my back “Eri is getting so big! And she’s planning to attend UA now that I’ve solved the cold case.”
“Thats amazing!” he comes closer to give me a tight embrace “you make such an impact in our community and I’m so proud of you every time you change the fate of others.”
“I’m just doing what I can within my power” I hug him back “you know I don’t give up on anything it I could help it.”
“It’s one of the things I love the most about you” he lifted her up “how lucky am I to have one of the sweetest souls in the world as my love?”
Luck had nothing to do with it, I best describe my time in this country as a train wreck that gets progressively weirder and it’s fixed with some duct tape. But I only live one day at a time, I’ll worry about the destination later when the time comes. Time passes us fast, once you get married it’s like time passes faster! It’s been a year and some change, I’m 25 and still very humble with all the riches and successes that has followed me. Tenya is 26 and slowly reaching the upper 20′s in the hero ranking, thanks to his brother and myself to help him along the way. It’s mid January, Tenya gets sent on a week long mission in Sendai, it’s the first time in years that we spent time apart. I made sure I make his welcome very momentous, because I had so much to share with him when he came back.
“I’m home!” Tenya yelled excitedly as he walk through the door “I missed saying that!”
“Welcome home Tenya” the little robo yipped “Mom missed you, she’s waiting for you in the main room.”
“Oh? Thank you” he was a bit taken back by this change of greeting, he’s so used to hearing Ita respond back. He makes his way to the living room, passing the kitchen and hallway to the guest room.
“Welcome home Tenya!” I yelled once I saw him “I missed you soooo much!” I jump on him for a tight hug “mmhm! I don’t think I like you being gone for so long” I pepper kisses on him “I need my man to love me so I can annoy him with my affection.”
“You know your affection doesn’t annoy me” he laughed at my clinginess “I miss giving you besitos and holding you close at night” he lingered on my hug “oh darling, it was rough out there but I’m so happy to be home.”
“I hope you’re hungry because I cooked you a grand meal!” I excitedly lead him to the table “ta-da! a four course meal in the candlelight!”
“Four courses?! Oh you missed me, missed me” he was shocked by the amount of thought I put into his welcome. As we ate, he told me of his time in Sendai and the other heroes that were called upon “...and I really hope that family is safe. Also do you think this trip will boost me up the ranking?”
“I talked to Tensei about that actually the other day” I said as I was walking back with dessert “he said that it will if you make it onto the media, like if they name you. Otherwise it won’t.”
He watches me set down dessert “Berry tart! Oh what splendid memories just flooded back” he cracked a big dumb smile as I served him a slice “remember when we went to that cafe at the end of 1st year and I was too shy to sit that close to you?” he took a bite “and as usual, everything you make is delicious! Oh man if only I told you that day I had feelings for you, it was a perfect winter day spent with you.”
“Oh stop! You had your chances, even on the bad days!” I playfully hit his arm “but I would’ve probably started to cry right there on the town plaza if you confessed” I suddenly remembered my big piece of news “Oh! I almost forgot, this invitation came in the mail earlier in the week” I levitated a yellow envelope with ‘Iida Household’ on the front of it in nice handwriting “I wanted to wait for you to come back to open it, since it’s addressed to both of us.”
He opens the envelope “It looks like a... birthday invitation?” he furrowed his brow and thought for a moment “who’s birthday is coming up? I can’t recall anyone’s except yours.” He opens the card and reads aloud:
Dear Iida household,
Hello! I’d like to invite you to my birthday! You see, it’s my very first one and I’m very excited to see you attend. You don’t know me but I’d like to get aquatinted with the both of you. There’s not much about me but my birthday is on July 28th, I’m a Leo. It’s a long way from now but I wanted to let you know because I know how busy being a Hero and a CEO must be. Anyways, I hope to see you then!
Yours Truly,
p.s. It just occurred to me that I don’t have a name yet, maybe you can help me with that and that’ll be your present to me!
“Huh, a person with no name?” he reread the invitation “and no address to said birthday” he turned to me “did the couple a few rows in front of us have a child that I wasn’t aware of?”
I stifle my laugh “Nope, read the invite again” I point to the p.s. part “see how they’re asking you for a name for a present?”
“I see that but what an odd request” he chopped, missing the point “wouldn’t it be customary to give a gift for a growing child? It’s their first birthday!” he sees me hold in my laugh “DON’T LAUGH! Tell me what am I not getting, you��re the riddle and puzzles expert.”
“Tenya, what did I serve you in this 4 course meal?”
“Baby quiche, side salad of baby greens with snow peas, steak with baby carrots and baby corn” he pointed at the tart “ and berry tart...but I don’t see how the meal relates to this mysterious invitation?”
“Oh goodness you’re hopeless” I laugh as I stand up “think long and hard Tenya, lots of baby named food, invite to a birthday 6 and a half months away, person that wants a name as a present and that we don’t know.”
He spends a good 5 minutes of mumbling to himself, trying to make sense of all the clues I pulled for him “I’m afraid I can’t crack this case” he checks the envelop for anything he could’ve missed “what did you piece from this?”
I couldn’t contain my laughter, I was tearing up laughing “Welp, I guess I’ll tell ya” I grab his hand and put it on my stomach “welcome home....daddy.”
He didn’t get it at first then it all clicked “Ita...your pregnant?!” he fell to his knees and put both hands on my stomach “oh my- I’m such an idiot!” he put his forehead on my stomach “why did you marry me, I can’t figure out something that’s so blatantly written out for me!”
“Silly, it doesn’t matter now” I put my hand on his head “we’re going to be parents! Isn’t that exciting that we’re building that future we thought we’d never get to?”
“Yes, I’m so excited to see the life you’re growing” he looked up at me, tears in his eyes “I said you could start your happy family with me, now it’s all coming together.” he kisses my stomach “you hear that? I can’t wait to meet you!”
I go through pregnancy once again but this time I took maternity leave at both jobs right at the 5th month of my pregnancy. I mainly did it to avoid publicity and cameras, so I can do my thing in peace. Surprisingly, I was the first one in my company to go on leave and it made me want to rewrite the leave so you’d get 8 months off instead of 5. So on said leave, I did the rewrite and had Beizu do all that paperwork and update everyone. He hated me for it but at least I wasn’t in the office overworking myself while heavily pregnant. We didn’t want a baby shower, mainly because we were already well off and it seemed like theft if we made our friends come and give us baby stuff. I ordered the baby stuff online for in-store pick up and uncle Jin and aunty Mimi would go get it for me. They were very excited to be an uncle and aunt to the point of jumping ahead to how my baby will interact and love them. My parents and in-laws were super pleased with the fact that we were pregnant. The In-laws announced it to the rest of the family and they all cheered that the family name will stay nice and strong. We decided to just have the crib and other baby stuff in our bedroom so we don’t have to have a baby monitor and have our baby within reach. It was nearly go time when Tenya got leave and I was in that nesting mode.
“We have to set up the bottle warming station!” I said franticly setting up the small machine “I’m going to pumping so much it’s not even funny! OH! can you-”
“Relax Ita, please!” Tenya begged “you’ve been up since 6am and hardly sat down” he rubbed her shoulders “why don’t you let me set this up while you take a nap nap on the couch? I’ll have a snack waiting for you when you wake up.”
“Alright, if it will make you feel better” I lean into his hands “then I’ll take a break.” I lay down and the baby started moving like crazy, not letting me sleep. 
“Oh you woke up?” Tenya asked as he saw me quickly sit up after an hour.
“Not to cause alarm” I slowly turn to where Tenya was and calmly spoke “but my water broke....deadass.”
Now Tenya was in panic as I calmly called Mimi and Jin that it was time. As we got in the car, I called my parents that I was on my way to the hospital to give birth. I can’t go to a regular hospital, so I have to go to a government protected one that’s an hour away from the gated community. Lucky me that Jin can portal us there in an instant. I was in labor for a while and gave natural birth to our first child. I didn’t need to go into stasis nor get stitched up, so I got see my baby for those crucial first few days. We got home just before the first summer storm.
“Oh wow look at you!” I cooed at my baby “you’re not scared of the rain or any of those big scary noises huh?”
“Is that normal?” asked Tenya, still trying to figure out how babies work.
“Not sure, but my mom said I was a very quiet and unfussy baby” I yawned “so maybe they got it from me.”
“Come on, both of you take a nap!” he coaxed the new mom to the couch “I’ll hold you both in my arms.”
“You’re too much” I yawned as I nestled myself in his arms with the baby in mine “but I love you.”
Tenya took in his surroundings, the house was quiet and the rain was coming down hard with some thunder in the far distance. He looked down to see the baby looking back up at him, the same way Ita would look at him when he’d hold her. “Can’t sleep? What is it?” he asked the newborn “this is your home, we’re going spend every waking moment here with you. Doesn’t that sound nice?” the newborn freed one of their hands from the blanket to extend out “Oh my sweet, little girl” he kissed their hand “I can’t wait to see the person you’ll become in our hectic and wonderful world.”
About a month later, we invited our friends to meet our baby. Literally, Tenya wanted a ‘meet our baby’ party instead of a birthday party because he REALLY wanted to show off our baby. I don’t blame him, we made a cute baby.
“What a cutie! Awww” Midnight squealed “what did you end up naming her?”
“Lili Perla” I responded with the baby in my arms “like the flower. Would you like to hold her?”
“I would!” she cradled the baby gently “Hello!~ It’s your aunty Midnight! I can’t wait to see you grow up into a little turbo kid like daddy. Or curly haired rebel like mommy.”
“Nemuri, isn’t my niece the cutest baby?!” cried out Tensei “I can tell she’ll have most of the Iida strong traits!”
“That terrifies me” I split my gaze between the two brothers “I can’t deal with yo rectangular like, fucked up brows havin asses! My baby is gonna be the prettiest little thing with all my family’s beauty traits.”
“I hope she’s outspoken like you” Midnight hands me back the baby “we need more Itas in this world.”
“Oh look it’s Lili-chan!” cooed Ochako with her son in her arms “say hi Maru! She’s going to be your friend and play with you when she gets big enough.”
“Don’t be shy Maru” coaxed Midoriya “the Iida’s are our friends and Lili will be a very loyal friend just like their mom and dad.”
We watched the little boy wave and Lili waving back “Oh she’s picking up fast!” exclaimed Midnight “that’s peculiar.”
“Right?! She already knows basic things like greetings, waving, attention grabbing and flails her arms to music” I giggle a bit “like, she can’t talk but she gives a little yell when Tenya comes home and a long yell when she needs something. She doesn’t cry for anything!”
“Hey guys, I heard baby talk and had to see the little lady” Mineta said as he walked up to me “may I hold her?”
“Sure, make sure you support her head.”
“Hi there! I’m your cool uncle Minoru” he cooed at the baby “one day I’ll give you a cousin to play with.”
The baby didn’t bide well with the grape man and started crying “Oh no! She hates you” Todoroki said flatly “here, let me.” He held the baby and she instantly stopped crying “See? She doesn’t mind me.”
I started laughing “Oh fuck she’s learning a little too fast!” I saw that Shoto brought Touya with him “Hi Touya, surprised to see you here.”
“Yea, I had to see for myself that you had a baby” he said as he peered over Shoto’s shoulder to see the baby “what a cute little squish” Shoto hands him the baby “you don’t know me but your mommy saved me from some baddies and brought me to my family, don’t you grow up and give your mother trouble!” He turns to me “she isn’t afraid of me.”
“Seems like she isn’t afraid of anything yet” Touya hands me the baby “I’m sure it’s just a curiosity phase and she’ll be crying more as she gets older.”
“May I hold her?” Tokoyami asked me “lets see if she will cry with me.” I hand her over and she smiled as her hands touched his beak “nope, she’s like her mother, curious and giggly” he nuzzles her and Dark Shadow comes out to see the baby. Lili sees it and starts to grunt to touch it “You want Dark Shadow? Um, okay.” 
“I don’t believe it” Shinso smirked “you two managed to make the ideal baby in one try” Tokoyami hands Shinso the baby “oh the things you’ll get to experience with your mother, lucky you” Lili tugs on his shirt “what is it? You like the satin shirt?” Lili grunts in response “Ita what are you feeding this child to have them this...smart?”
“I’m just breastfeeding her I swear!” I look to Tenya “we have no idea if her level of response is because of a quirk or it’s her own level of intelligence and we’re just doing a good job at stimulating her enough.”
Seeing her grow up into little Miss Independent was quite the journey for a new parent. She was walking at 11 months old and running a few weeks after her 1st birthday, causing a lot of mischief. At 1 and 4 months she was talking in English and Japanese, small phrases like ‘howdy’ ‘mom’ ‘dad’ ‘doggy’ ‘hot’ and ‘not nice’. Her first word was doggy because Muffin 2.0 had to switch roles from security to nanny when she’d run around the house. When she turned two, her quirk grew in, smaller rocket-like engines on her feet! The amount of joy the Iida family got from hearing about this brought them to tears that the legacy will live on. My family was impressed that it wasn’t telekinesis and was excited to see another random quirk in our gene pool. But it didn’t stop there, when she got a little runny nose and blew her nose, her clothes instantly turned to threads! She had a second quirk, Master Thread! Tenya and I were so happy that she was blessed with two separate quirks that we helped her in anyway possible to develop her skills better at home. She really liked dancing and all the pretty costumes, so I put her in private lessons and fell in love with it. We didn’t stop at her though, we had another baby after Lili’s 3rd birthday, a baby boy named Iwata El Roca. And 4 years after him, twins! A boy and girl named Hanaka Rosa and Tensei Oro...can you tell who named who? It was a full house come Christmas time of six people and a robo dog. Everyone was tired and sprawled about on the couch, Lili was holding Hanaka on the far side, Ita was holding Iwata as she leaned on Tenya’s shoulder. Tenya was cradling baby Tensei and everyone was asleep after a grand meal and watching a holiday movie, except for Tenya. He took in his surroundings and sighed. He was in a new home, the house was quiet with just the sounds of his family breathing, snow was falling outside, everyone was safe and warm. How weird that everything fell into place when he fell in love with one person, now he shares his love in 5 different people that show it back.
“Hnn, Tenya” Ita drowsily spoke “we have to put the kids to bed.”
“Just 5 more minutes, please love.” He softly responded “When will we ever have them this little and peaceful again?”
“Fine, 5 more minutes” she pulled her son closer to her chest “I love you.”
“I love you more” he kissed her forehead.
-Book 1 End-
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