#maybe will become more exploratory later on

[seiwas]

Neeeed more crumbs of col couple!!

also a quick question, does satoru like seeing col wear lace and lingeries?? more importantly does she like to wear them and does he buy them for her because.... yknow? he's shameless like that and anything for his precious darling <3

sorry if this is such a loaded question i am just nuts about them! <3333

hello nonie!! thanks for asking 🥹 sorry i got back to this so late hehe you gave me sum ideas!!

here is my answer:

take my time (i'll spend it all on you) -> gojo sees you in lingerie for the first time.

but to seriously answer your question, yes satoru does like seeing reader in lingerie! (but also, he likes seeing reader in anything! especially nothing ) & reader likes wearing them too!! partly because they're just so pretty 🥺 but also bc... yknow! and if satoru buys em for her, hehe we'll have to wait and seeee! 🤭

as a lil treat, i'll add in the pegs i used for the lingerie i was envisioning in the fic too!!

[hypervoxel]

Jumble of headcanons in no particular order about Vark because I need to write them down somewhere to pretend to be organized

He started off sooo cute and tiny, like the size of a guinea pig. And he made laser noises like a baby Cuban crocodile.

He was so so tiny. He did not stay tiny.

Sharks sense electricity! He's naturally drawn to Vox when Vox is taking in or letting off too much power. He naturally interrupts Vox's overstimulation and warns about seizures, so Vox trained him some actual medical alert tasks.

Service shark Vark 🐕‍🦺

On the topic of electricity, I also headcanon him as having some aspects of an electric eel as well. A fantasy eel. He can take in some of Vox's excess energy, and isn't bothered by the sparks Vox throws off.

I'm chewing on the idea that Val bought Vark for Vox as an apology gift.

Now I'm just quoting myself directly from discord: I keep thinking of how I can include this (Vark being a gift from Val) in my one fanfic where it obviously does not fit bc Val hates Vark in it. Maybe he's jealous that Vox cares way more about Vark himself than the fact that Val gave him a gift. So unappreciative, didn't even have make-up sex over it bc Vox was too busy practically having a breakdown over how adorable Vark is. Val realizes that this was a mistake and he should have picked a very different gift instead

Vark is such a well behaved good boy when he's working, as a service shark. When Vox is in distress, Vark is so focused on trying to help with all the power of his tiny shark brain <3 Outside of that tho? He's a terror. He's so excitable. He canonically (in the old Voxtagram art) jumps on and knocks people over. This ties into him previously being a tiny adorable little thing. It was sooo cute when he jumped on your leg, back when he was the size of a large potato. It stayed cute up until they realized he was going to be so much bigger than they ever expected.

(It's like a bottle raised bull. The cute things they did when they were a little baby calf are no longer cute now that they're so large they are going to hurt you on accident just trying to be friendly and playful. RIP.)

Other service dog tasks for Vark: deep pressure therapy (of course. Interrupting behaviors such as when Vox is getting overwhelmed. Blocking to stop other people from getting too close to/touching Vox when he would shock them. I am forgetting so many things and will continue writing this list later

Vox doesn't do public access with Vark. This ties into my headcanons for Vox that he is deeply ashamed of himself and he cannot let anyone know he has problems ever.

Unfortunately, I am evil. So I also like the idea of Vark as an owner-trained service animal who is hmm not the perfect candidate for the job. In the same way shepherds aren't recommended for anxiety work, he can feed too much off of Vox's own emotions and has issues with guarding aggression that at times cause him to become reactive. (*points at my fanfic where he bites Val*)

I love bad representation.

Alsooo I don't like hammerhead sharks or animals that are too cartoon-y for me to understand as a real creature, so I'm making up a new design for Vark

Based on a Bonnethead Shark! Fun fact about Bonnethead Sharks: they are omnivorous! They eat seagrass :)

So Vark is omnivorous but unfortunately he's also like a tiger shark in that he'll eat anything even if it's not food. Tiger sharks have been found with license plates, tires, and other trash in their stomachs (sad)

Don't ask Vox how many times Vark has needed emergency exploratory surgery after eating something he shouldn't have. He doesn't want to talk about it.

Vark chews on wires like real sharks biting at undersea fiber optic cables. Chomp chomp

When Vark was a tiny baby, Velvette dressed him up in silly little outfits to post online. She doesn't do that anymore because he has mostly outgrown his cuteness stage for her: she only thought he was cute when he was little.

[silverstarfics]

Hi there. If you haven’t read my fic Yesterday’s Promise then this won’t mean anything to you unless you just feel like reading an obnoxiously emotional author’s note. Hey, maybe you do! In which case, feel free to tap that read more button which I’ve put in place to save unsuspecting scrollers from my ramblings.

Way back in July 2021, I decided to write a silly little zombie AU. I figured it would be a couple of chapters, maybe 3, 5 at the most, just an exploratory thing really. And because it would be a short piece, I wanted to challenge myself to write it from Scott’s POV because I’d always struggled to capture his voice. Yeah, nice one Kat. How’d that work out for you? Over 1 million words later, I like to think I’m better at writing him now.

By the fourth chapter, I realised that it wasn’t going to be a short fic. I don’t think I ever dreamed of it becoming 126 chapters, but I definitely knew it was going to drag on for a while, so some serious plotting began. Guys. I’m not kidding. I literally had a pinboard of plot points and string linking them together. Wait, where’s that conspiracy theory meme?

That was me. It’s still me now because I’m plotting the sequel, but back then I was slightly less unhinged. These days I have notecards and scream about character arcs at @tanushakyrano Thanks for putting up with me Cora! I love you!

Anyway, this fic became my baby. It was my emotional outlet and saw me through some dark moments. I dropped out of uni, applied to get a loan for flight school, got rejected, then ended up studying for degree I didn’t really want because I had no idea what else to do. And… I hated it. I projected all my feelings onto Scott (as you do) which helped but honestly? It wasn’t good. But long story short (for once), I survived.

Thanks to you.

I’m not exaggerating. Anyone who has ever clicked kudos or left a comment or interacted with this fic in any way - thank you, truly, from the bottom of my heart. If it weren’t for your support, I would never have had the confidence to switch to a writing degree. So, for once I’m not being overdramatic when I say that writing this fic and being supported by you guys has changed my life. This is a wonderful, caring community and I’m so grateful to be a part of it. Love you, Thunderfam!

[iamthecomet]

Hi Comet! I’m sorry things are not thinging, I’m sending you hugs and trying very hard to manifest some good snacks.

Imagine if you will,

Zeph with very angry swollen joints. His thumb is practically locked in place, as though the cartilage cushioning his bones has dissolved and his fingers are fused in the 36251 progression position.

He doesn’t play nearly as much as he used to. Only Sundays, forgoing the weekday morning and evening mass. He isn’t that pious. But the weak heat being pumped into that old building seems to be desperate to escape the cracks in the vaulted ceiling as soon as it’s released.

Ever the stoic ghoul, he never complains. He just retreats to his quarters and soaks his aching hands in hot water, massages salves made by Ivy into his skin.

He thinks no one notices. But his pack would notice a single hair on his head out of place, and they certainly notice the way his spine favors leaning to the left when he plays, and the way his hand shakes when he grips his fork at dinner.

This particular Sunday was the coldest yet. He could be seen shivering in between psalms. And most shocking, his timing was off. Maybe not to the pedestrian ear of the siblings, but certainly to the trained ones of Ifrit and Omega.

As soon as his part in the service was complete he snuck away through the concealed door normally reserved for Sister and Papa.

He would’ve ran to his room, if he was capable of more than anything but a lopsided hobble.

He told himself he wasn’t going to break but as soon as he closed the door, ever so softly as if he didn’t even want to alert the mice to his presence, he slumped against it and the dam broke.

They were right. He just needed to stop. Or at least he would, if he continued to politely balk at the help offered.

Before his body could touch the ground, he found himself being lifted back up by two sets of strong arms. Arms belonging to Ifrit and Omega.

“Oh, I’m fine - “ the countenance of bravery was essentially transparent and he was hushed with a single finger to his lips.

“Not now, we can talk later. Let us take care of you.”

He wasn’t sure if it was defeat or surrender, but he just let them.

Let Ifrit force warmth into his body, let Omega pull the pain away, offering soft grunts of concern at the sheer amount of it. Omega himself would need to be cleansed after this.

As they continued their ministrations, he felt some mobility return to his hands, he was able to straighter his spine where he lay in the warm cove of Ifrit’s chest.

He gave his fingers an exploratory wiggle, and if he were sobbing from pain before, now he was sobbing from relief. He forgot what the absence of pain felt like, had become the default.

“Thank you,” two small words that meant something big when it came to Zephyr, at least when it came to this. This acknowledgment that he needed their help. He needed them.

“Think nothing of it, until next time, when you need not wait until we all have to watch you suffer, and force ourselves on you.” Omega’s lecture sounded severe, but he lighted the mood when he gave Zeph a peck on the cheek. For good measure, Ifrit added, “Yeah, you stubborn old goat.”

Oh my god. OH MOTH. On this is THANK YOU FOR SHARING THIS WITH ME. It's beautiful and so soft and so sweet and I love them all so much. No matter what, they have him, they'll catch him, they'll help him. Even when he's too stubborn to ask--especially then. This is perfection and exactly what I needed. ♥

[regivapor]

Buckle up, this one's going to be long, personal, and possibly controversial.

"Calmdown Catacombs"

The in-canon story for this involves an out of control Jacques, placed in a palmkind run sort of facility for unruly hatmen to calm down. The palmkind, ever eager to be entertained, have turned this facility into a zoo attraction inside a mall. Jacques is given all sorts of distractions and the palmkind gawk at them, between dancing and partying. Because hatmen can feel emotional distress from others over long distances, and because this drives them into a frenzy, Jacques is forced to wear a cone to put a damper on these signals. They have their mobility reduced so they can’t escape or attack the palmkind handlers.

Jacques’ imprisonment in the Calmdown Catacombs represents purity culture, particularly my experience with it. Purity culture was a big part of the religion I used to believe in. Partying, drugs, sex…all out of the question, demonized, I felt I had to abstain from these. I did that, and the part I feel the worst about is how I judged others. I regret not having a more rebellious and exploratory nature because I think it would have led to me being a more rounded, more connected nature than I do today.

Here are some explanations of the symbolism:

-Jacques’ cone represents feeling isolated from most of my peers. Maybe it was a mixture of feeling like I’d become impure around others? Maybe it was not really knowing how to socialize? And yes, I realize my cat is in a cone right now, that’s a coincidence.

-Jacques’ ill-fitting dress represents the gender roles prescribed by Catholicism/Christianity, especially those prescribed to women. The "biblical woman" gender roles have always felt like they didn’t work for me.

-the shackles around Jacques’ legs represent the idea of abstinence, whether that’s from sexual activity, partying, or weed. In church youth group and stuff, there was the whole "rose without petals" thing, like you were less valuable if you had sex outside marriage. I bought into that and it caused problems later that are too personal for me to discuss here.

-there’s all sorts of random things around Jacques; collections, books, art, graded papers, etc. These are the things used to distract Jacques, things I used to work on and devote time to instead of exploring life/myself. The theremin is part of this, I realize I used to play the piano when I was in high school and college, but the theremin fit better and it’s what I play now.

-the palmkind gawkers watching Jacques represent the feeling a lot of "gifted kids" get when they feel hey need to perform or produce.

-there’s a key in the upper left hand area. Jacques can leave at any time; I could have been a rebel and explored myself at any time, but I didn’t.

Tl;dr: It's about how buying into the purity culture aspect of Catholicism/Christianity was a mistake on my part and I feel like I missed out on a lot of life experiences because of it.

[flowerfruitmountain]

Notes:

I really like this story, there's an unusually huge amount of creative consideration put into this. In recent years, sci-fi seems to be focused around whatever details are salient for the story of their novel, and it fuzzes out beyond that- which is fine, but I'm a sucker for unexpectedly meticulous detail (not done in 50 page appendix lore dump alone) which this story delivers. There's a lot of thought and care put into it.

For random example: the mutagenic sheathe that functions as the student's weapon/ expository device for her source of infection is well integrated into the setting, as is the alchemy-like applications of biology- it doesn't feel condescending. The story does have the exploratory feel I like about webfic where nothing is super polished and in it's final form yet, but this explosion of words and description is satisfying to read.

Style is a real strong point for the writer, the impactful one-liners and poetic detail strike a nice balance between potentially over flowery and perfectly functional for an adventure sci-fi. The beginning of Amber Skies has a different grammar with the rest- exposition or pacing became a little more natural around maybe around chapter 30? The style evens out to third person omniscient more regularly near the end, which works. The style of time skip chapter was discarded for imo better style of intuitive out of order chapters later, but no matter- on a reread every detail becomes very interesting.

There's an unexpected cloun, and pickily, I think the funniest thing there would be to make him unexpectedly heartbreaking, just a general marvel of tragedy, to break up the more ongoing tragedy- the little stories within stories kind of idea that not many stories do could be an oddly amazing strength for this setting, the variation in stories can be kept in line with the overarching feel of the narrative by lining up themes.

All the characters are fully integrated into the setting, and I really enjoy that they live in that world with their differing value systems, this feels a little rarer to encounter in fantasy nowadays. I love the cosmic horror of the Matriarch, though I can think of ways to make it worse (that's not a review comment, the story just makes me think), and the heaven segment was nice in a visual imagination way. I was wondering about the story telling potential with previous pathfinders marks, the main party don't meet someone from their own traditions. The exposition was good enough in pov to save narrative from ever seeming so impossible-to-understand it didn't mean something to the reader, but the contrast in incidents like characters futzing more about their uh, coworkers could anchor the worldbuilding a little so when the characters do something unusual, it can be intuited. However, worldbuilding is already rich to begin with, feels like wandering into a foreign town. Atmosphere feels a little of kill 6 billion demons, dnd, warhammer 40k, alchemy notes from fma, and somehow, comics-style. It's interesting stylistically how the characters don't really have impressions of each other. Onto the sequel.

Character notes: I liked it when the aesthetic talked. 

"At first, the student did not realize where the voice came from, as the demon’s lips did not move. Its voice was smooth and deep, but an uncanny kind of deep that came with having vocal chords far too large for a human mouth. This caused it to speak with a drooping intonation that sent a wave of flight-or-fight through the students mind. It was the sort of thing that made very clear that this was not a human speaking. This was something pretending to be a human speaking."

This is cool exposition. 

[shiftasia]

Exploratory vs Ad-hoc Testing | Definition and Usage

The differences between Ad-hoc testing and Exploratory testing

Exploratory is one of the most popular forms of testing in software quality assurance. At first glance, exploratory and ad-hoc testing may seem to be the same. However, these two test methods are defined differently by their own unique methodologies. While in ad-hoc testing knowledge of software is acquired prior to its assessment, with exploratory testing there’s a progressive learning factor as you move through your exploration process – allowing users to gain an understanding while simultaneously evaluating outcomes from this newfound information.

Ad-hoc testing is an informal, unstructured method of software testing, which you can perform without profound knowledge of the test subject that offers the possibility of unearthing critical bugs missed by automated or regression testing. This can be done by using a technique called error guessing.

In other words, it is far from structured. Therefore, it doesn’t have any rules, goals, or documented plans, so the efficiency of such kind of testing really depends on the experience of the tester. It can be missed that without any specifications, ad hoc testing is difficult to manage and often inherent lack of documentation means that any discovered bugs will be difficult to reproduce as well.

Exploratory and Ad-hoc, do we need both?

We have all seen articles recommending explorative (exploratory) testing to spot bugs faster and earlier in development. Both ad-hoc and exploratory testing are experience-based test methods that take experience and intuition. If one has no testing expertise with the correct know-how, he wouldn’t be able to test exploratively. In addition, what becomes crucial here is test case creation. Since the tester would learn as he goes about and explores, test case creation and documentation require skills ultimately to create proper and maybe better test cases that can be reused.

Ad-hoc testing sounds impromptu, but there is a use for it. For simple and common functions like registration and login, it is better to use ad-hoc testing as you don’t want to waste your time documenting and creating thought-through test cases.

Exploratory testing marks an essential activity while practicing Agile methodologies in software development. This testing method can be used for complex functions, as it is more reliable, and it can be later assigned to junior testers as they can execute the same test cases after being completed once. Exploratory testing comes in handy when dealing with short-span projects which do not require extensive test planning and documentation

Conclusion

The difference is very small, but it is relevant and sets the expectation of how it should be managed and what the outcome should look like. Ideally, the combination of both ad-hoc and exploratory testing is used for comprehensive testing. At Shift Asia, we provide software test automation services exploratory testing through black-box testing to verify a software’s quality from a 3rd party point of view. Please feel free to contact us for free consulting.

[itstheimpossibledream]

Superuncle

Word Count:1836

Pairing: Henry xOFC educator 

Warning: Smut,Size kink

Summary :Henry's nephew is convinced he's superman and the teacher has warned him that telling 'tall tales' is incredibly unethical. However, when he brings his uncle to class you are forced to eat your words...and more??

Please don’t repost my fics without my permission!

"I'm so sorry I - I " Henry cuts you off.

"It's  really quite alright. I'm sure he usually is exaggerating in class." he chuckles more to himself than to you, but you find it endearing that he's quirky enough to laugh that hard at his own words, or was it nerves? You couldn't pretend as though you hadn't seen the movie with your friends and drooled over his body but, if an incredibly good-looking , movie star uncle was indeed related to a kid in your class this was the first time the PTA moms had neglected to fill you in on some juicy gossip.  You reached for the lock on your bike, you had to admit it wasn't the most impressive ride but, it got you where you needed to be without wasting the gas money. 

"If you need a lift I drove Tom to school today so ...." He trailed off but, whether he had out of humility or not, You knew better than to deny a moviestar offering to spend time with you.

"O - uh sure. Can I throw my bike in the back?" Before you knew it, he was lifting the bike into the truck as though it was nothing. You admired the movement of the muscles in his back, through his shirt as he swung his arms back to his sides. He must have noticed you were staring but, clearly didn't mind as he opened the passenger side door for you.

You could feel your nerves propelling you through the car ride , knowing you were talking a mile-a-minute but also much to embarrassed to stop. You directed him, and eventually , he pulled up to your house. The truck roared into the driveway and you watched as he gingerly lowered your bike from the bed and wheeled it into your garage.

"So how long have you lived here?" he furrowed his brow as he asked, looking up at the house. 

"O I started teaching there right after college,moved into this house maybe a year later?Four years." you say looking at him, stopping yourself from rambling as you push your key into the door knob.

"Would you ummm- like to come in for a drink or something ?" You watched as the corner of his mouth upturned. The silence broke as you clicked  the lock open.

"After you." he bellowed, you felt a jump in your stomach at his acceptance of your offer. The heft of the door swung behind you and he caught it, closing it gently. You set your bag down on the table and walk to the kitchen. Reaching  for the glasses you push up on the counter, you feel him steady your hips as you come down with the first glass. A million things flash through your mind but, the most prevalent is that he is touching you. A very hot movie star is touching you. You roll back up on your toes to grab the second glass, and his hands move lower this time. He moves towards your crotch, rubbing you through your pants and it's clear that he wasn't just assisting you , he was making a move. It was so subtle,possibly practiced but still incredibly hot.

"Is this okay?"his deep baritone begged the question as he whispered it into your hair, never stopping the movement of his hand. You barely managed to exhale “ummmhmmm” while nodding your head , your breath had completely caught in your throat. He must have felt you tense up because he followed up with "We can stop whenever you want." it was genuine, you could tell that.You angled your head to the side so that you could see him, you looked right into his beautiful blue eyes.

"I don't want you to stop. " you whispered back to him breathlessly, leaning in to catch his lips in yours. With that, he kissed you back, moving his hands to undo your pants and slide his hand into your underwear. He pushed a thick finger into you and he laughed at the noise his touch made you illicit. You moaned into his mouth as his fingers pushed their way inside of you.  You swayed your hips in an attempt to shimmy out of your pants. He noticed and bent down, helping to get the pants over your feet. You both chuckle as he struggles, pulling the pants off. 

"God you're gorgeous." he said as he bends you over the counter roughly, you hear him fumbling with his belt but nothing really registers until you feel him sliding his thickness along the outside of your entrance. You allow yourself to moan out again and he grabs your hair up into one hand, pulling your head back, mouth kissing the sky.

"You're such a good girl for me" his voice was low and gravelly. "spread your legs more for me." he whispers, controlling your body with commands over and over again. Not waiting for you to do it as much as he was telling you that he was going to move you. As he lifted your leg, you could feel that he was able to line up and easily slide into you. You couldn't help yourself, you exhaled into all the all the sexual tension that had been between you. 

"I love that sound." he smirked, you turned your head as far as you could to see his dark curls moving in rhythm as he pumped into you. 

"Just like that baby, you're taking me so well." You could feel the butterflies in your stomach jumping at his praise.You groaned again as you shifted your position allowing him deeper inside you. Despite your intent of not seeming easy you moaned loudly, unable to control yourself.

"Please..........please." you begged him, to which he responded by cupping your hip and driving into you slower. He must have felt that it was to much for you to take.Because his pace slowed even more as he lowered his mouth to your ear again saying " I want you to go lay on the bed with your legs open for me okay princess?" He carefully pulled out of you,your legs were wobbly as you peeled your chest off of the granite countertop. "Go now." he said smacking your ass and urging you in the direction of the hallway. You moved as quickly as your legs could carry you, unabashedly letting out a light giggle on the way. As you laid down you could feel his eyes on you.  You spread your legs, trailing your hand down to your core , your fingers moved gingerly as he watched you, rubbing yourself closer and closer to your climax. He stood to the side of your bed, working himself over in his large hand. Taking in his body, the expanse of chest and abs coupled with the faint beginning of hair curling on his chest was driving you insane. His hand seemed so big, and you were mesmerized by his body. 

"Do you want me to fuck you again?"

"Yes.Yes-" you cut off realizing you sounded more eager than you had intended to. He moves to the bed, hovering over you he lifts your chin and kisses you for the first time. It's exploratory but simple, his lips work slow and sweetly,almost as if he doesn't want to push you. Which feels weird considering he'd already been inside you. But, in your own bed doing missionary like a couple that actually knew each other was more intimate, you respected that he was treating it as such. He hummed into you as he deepened the kiss. When he rolled his cock into your hand you heard him let out a deep moan. 

"Wait -wait. Do you have a condom?" he says stopping you. That is not at all what you had expected him say. 

"Yeah." you nodded looking at him but, not moving, partly shocked that he had even asked.He looked in the direction of your nightstand and you nodded again. He opened the drawer, found the condom and tore it open effortlessly. You resumed rubbing yourself under him and he groaned as he rolled the condom on watching you. 

"You're a very slutty teacher" he smirked, lining himself up again at your entrance. 

"Maybe I just don't see the point in using a condom after the fact." you chuckled.

"Maybe I want you to think I'm a nice guy,a good girl like you wouldn't let me fuck again if I wasn't responsible." you chuckled at his response, and he immediately pushed into you. You gasped at the pressure and he put a hand on your lower abdomen. You could tell he was enjoying how your muscles were moving to make space for him. 

" Wearing a condom makes you responsible?" you managed to get out. “Even highschool boys can do that.”you press.

"Makes you think I am" he shrugged, wrapping your arms around his neck and lifting you up to face him.  You could see right into his perfectly blue eyes were glued to yours as he watched your response to the new depth he found within your body.You craned your neck up to kiss him. Before long you had to break the kiss, the pressure in your abdomen  simply becoming to much in building up to your orgasm. You ended up sharing his air as he rocked you into your orgams, your body shaking. You were loud and you didn't care. Once it was clear that you had hit your peak he began driving into you quickly,grunting loudly. His speed lacked nothing as he managed to push you over the edge again, this time with him.

You breathe him in, not breaking eye contact.Memorizing the slight winces in his face as he emptied himself into you. 

"Holy shit- holy shit." you exhale between deep breaths. He runs a hand through his hair and begins laughing, his canines shining in the afternoon light, perfectly slotted between your shades.

“Holy shit is right.”he exhales, chest heaving again. You watch the rise and fall of the small  curly hairs on his chest, wishing to touch him but, not knowing if that would be okay yet.You settled for rolling onto your back and covering your face in your hands. 

“You alright? Did I do something wrong ?” He asks calmly awaiting your reply. When you remove you arm, you see him hovering above you, a palette of concern painting his face.

“I just-I usually don’t sleep with someone as soon as I….” you trail off into a mumble and he leans in , kissing you and silencing your worries. His hand encases your throat, as he moves it up to clutch your jaw.

”You don’t have to worry about that love.Your secret’s safe with me.”He pecked you on the lips again and wrapped you up in his arms. It was oddly easy being held by him, and you allowed yourself to be lost in him, effortlessly. 

[twig-soup]

and if everything goes? what then? | wip intro a multimedia novel | image credit: @argodeon

Mara is twelve years old when an officer breaks the news: her parents are dead. Six months later Mara is living with her widowed aunt, Laurie, when she is taken through a portal to a mysterious island that claims to need her help. Determined to save her niece, Laurie journeys across the galaxy to find her.

genre/setting

briefly set on early 2000's-esque earth (east coast), but most of the story stakes place in various locations across the milky way and on a secluded island (not on earth). with this one we're operating under the assumption that the galaxy is populated by other humans (but earth is secluded and ignorant); there is only one known nonhuman intelligent species. expect space ships + other neat technology, a gnarly curse, "old magic"/the spirit world ("magic"/spirits as an entity not a tool or innate gift, though they've been known to work with/befriend humans. more of a myth/mystery to most people), cyborg friends, space pirates,,, oh my

themes + general vibe (+ some storyline info)

grief, healing/growth, platonic bonds, nature, self-trust, martyrdom, lgbtq+ and now some vibes: the swell of delight we feel when admiring the sky; the final tendril of smoke dissipating as an incense stick finishes burning, and the red glow that goes out; the frustration and sheer determination of learning a new instrument or hobby as a kid; that flash of panic when you realize you love someone; seeing a small green leaf on a plant you thought was done for; stepping around flowers and mushrooms instead of stepping on them; the smell of your favorite person’s sweater; when your eyes sting from chlorine but you keep swimming anyway; tightening your ponytail before The Thing; blue lips; jumping to tap the doorframe or swing from a tree branch; kissing animals; opening things with your teeth; kissing food before you eat it; the way your eyes squint and lips flatten when someone disrespects a friend

more on the vibe: the story is told in close third and alternates between mara's pov and laurie's. mara's storyline is soft, exploratory, harvest moon/stardew valley-esque, but with a darkness underneath that keeps becoming more and more apparent. laurie's storyline is more of an adventure, with much more action. mara is eased into a new world; laurie is pushed and dragged and forced to dig up her strength very early on. this really correlates with their internal arcs; both are dealing with grief, but while mara is in active crisis, struggling to see a future for herself without her parents there to help her grow up, laurie clings to her grief as a way to keep the love between her and her husband alive, living every day since he died three years ago as if he might walk through the door. laurie needs to be pushed to live her life again, mara needs to be grounded and to find stability within herself. laurie is young btw, like 33.

"multimedia" elements

sound bites (music, breath, footsteps in the snow,,), video clips (pov shots of climbing trees n whatever), artwork, perhaps poetry, fairy tales(? thinking of a monster calls and oranges are not the only fruit), maybe even a choose-your-own-adventure sequence? not 100% on all this, but i'm very excited about all of the possibilities and fully expect to go insane because fuck this is going to be a lot of work. but my vision !!! it's so worth it. i'm so concerned as a writer with giving my readers sensory experiences that make them FEEL feel feel; i'm also considering giving mara a journal/sketchbook and either creating it as a supplement to the novel and/or including pages from it.

that's all! mwuah

tag: #wip: aiegwt

[petitepandabear]

The Empty Office | Chapter 7

Words: 2155

Three months later.

Your arrangement with Levi had been going well. Because of his increased number of meetings with both Erwin and other business associates, he was in town about every two weeks. You looked forward to those nights with him, letting out your tensions and performing the best you could to help him take an edge off as well. The two of you had become more exploratory too, trying out new methods of pleasure and fun that you hadn’t dreamed of before. Every moment was exhilarating, and when it came time for him to go, you always offered a cup of tea.

Most times he accepted, and you would spend time just talking on the couch. He was still distant, never sitting close to you or holding you the way a lover would. He kept the no attachment policy quite well. You on the other hand wanted to know him better, find out what made him tick so to speak. While he was hesitant to be entirely personal with you, you did discover how he and Erwin had become so close.

The two of them started out as rivals from two different companies until some bad blood in Erwin’s sphere led him to create an alliance of sorts to achieve the best possible outcome for his business. Levi was reluctant to help at first. He had no interest in Erwin’s tasks, and he was generally uncooperative. It took a few years, but the two eventually warmed up to one another and built an even stronger company. Then Levi had left.

He didn’t tell you why, or who was involved, and you learned not to pry when he shut you out. It was better this way, no need to worry over complicated pasts and trauma.

When he finished his tea and you exhausted your conversation topics, he would leave. You always offered to let him stay the night instead of having him sleep at his hotel room, but he never accepted. Maybe that was for the best, but each time you were turned down, you felt a strange sense of discouragement and sadness.

He left, and you were alone again, eagerly waiting for the next time he was in town. Well, sometimes you waited with anticipation.

There were a few weeks when your thoughts were directed towards a different man: Erwin. His presence still intimidated you. Sometimes you thought he hated you, sometimes you could see potential for friendship. Mostly, you were curious about him and his mannerisms. Pondering him left no room for Levi in your thoughts, which was often relieving since the whole situation with the silver eyed fox was more complicated than you cared to admit.

Letting yourself relax about that topic as you stressed about Erwin was helpful in a strange way. In any case, it kept you busy. The two of you had even begun to share more personal and interesting conversations. Instead of just asking you to schedule meetings for him, Erwin would ask your opinion on the men he met with. He seemed particularly interested in the exchange you had had with Eren Jaeger that one afternoon. You summarized the short conversation as Erwin listened intently.

“I want to recruit the young Jaeger,” he had admitted. “I think he could be an important part of this company. But I don’t know if I could entirely trust him to be loyal to us over his brother.”

You found Erwin’s business strategies curious, but you never questioned them. He had essentially built an empire and obviously knew what he was getting himself into.

Part of what made him so scary was his strength and resilience, the fact that he would make extreme sacrifices to gain success. He wasn’t necessarily cruel, always looking out for his employees as one should, but he wasn’t afraid to ask for everything and expect it. He was a formidable figure.

Nevertheless, you noticed as you made a more conscious effort to speak to him that he was not as hardened as he seemed.

This morning, Erwin had asked you to pull up a chair in his office and work alongside him. He explained that he had a lot on his mind and was getting distracted constantly.

“Watching someone else stay on task helps me focus better myself,” he said.

You smiled and leaned back in the chair you had placed against the wall. With your laptop on your legs, you began to do what you normally did. Checking emails, filtering spam and serious business inquiries, scheduling the occasional meeting, coordinating company gifts for valued partners and employees, and so on. You were so absorbed in your world of work, you didn’t notice the clock exhaust itself with the speed of running time, or the occasional glances Erwin directed at you.

He watched as you furrowed your brow when someone sent a poorly worded email. He took note of your proud gleam when you found the perfect wholesale gift to send identical copies to the company shareholders. He observed the way you twisted your lips in concentration as you drafted several versions of thank you notes.

You didn’t notice it was time for the day to end until Erwin stood over you, gesturing for you to get up.

“You were perfect,” he said, helping you by carrying your laptop back to your desk. “Thank you for keeping me on track. It was nice.”

“We didn’t even speak to each other,” you said, gathering your things and taking out your keys.

“True, but I don’t think we needed to. Your presence alone was enough.”

As he said this, you noticed a flash of some inexpressible emotion cross his face. He cleared his throat and continued before you could dwell on it.

“In any case,” he said as he walked towards the door. “I expect to see you at Hange’s party tonight?”

You stared at him for a moment in confusion.

“They told me they invited you,” Erwin continued. “It’s at eight?”

The party. Oh God, the party.

“I’ll be there,” you said with a forced smile and tone of excitement. “Most definitely will be. See you soon.”

Without giving him a chance to follow up on your response, you rushed down the stairs eagerly, avoiding the awkwardness of possibly running into him again on the elevator.

You felt stupid. Double booking yourself wasn’t something that happened often, but when it did it was in the worst possible situations.

A few years back you had agreed to be a bridesmaid at a friend's wedding, but also had to deliver a speech at a relative’s funeral. Both were important to you, and you would never intentionally miss one over the other, you were just a little too frazzled to have your times straight. Thankfully, the wedding had been canceled due to the bride coming out as lesbian and leaving her fiance at the alter. Her family partially blamed you for not being there that day to talk some sense into her, but you knew that if you had been there, you would have encouraged her to call it off. She always seemed happier around women anyway.

Anyhow, this time you were stuck between Hange’s party, the great yearly get-together that everyone looked forward to, and a night spent with Levi. If you both didn’t go, especially after you had told Erwin you would, that would look suspicious. What would be even more strange would be the two of you leaving at the same time. You were sure no one knew anything about the arrangement, and they probably wouldn’t suspect anything given Levi’s general persona and your own slightly timid mannerisms; however, you were constantly paranoid about being found out.

In the safety of your car, you frantically tapped a text to Levi about the party.

--Were you going to the party Hange set up?

--I was invited but I never go. It’s a foolish parade for businessmen

--Ok sure, but I told Erwin that I was going even though we had planned something already for tonight

--We can reschedule

--But you’re in town now and I feel awful about promising something and then bailing

--If it really makes you feel that badly I can simply not pay for your gas this week and call it even.

--No, I’ll figure something out.

You tossed your phone onto the passenger seat and sighed, only to be startled into a high pitched squeal as someone tapped rather loudly on your window. It was Hange. You opened the door.

“Are you ready for tonight,” they asked energetically. “All sorts of people will be there. It’s the perfect opportunity to network and maybe get a few dates if you know what I mean.”

They winked at you, clearly delighting in your obvious blush.

“It’s strange,” you said. “It seems a lot like a business event, yet Erwin called it your party as if it were a birthday gathering or something. What’s up with that?”

“People are more willing to show up to something fun. Besides, it’s a technicality, nothing to get worked up over.”

“I guess,” you said with a shrug.

You hadn’t told Hange about the embarrassing incident with Erwin and Levi. As far as they knew, you had taken Erwin home that night and Levi had never been there. Based on the way Hange acted, you assumed neither man had said anything either. You felt bad about keeping such a significant thing a secret, but you were afraid of what Hange would think of your deal with Levi and your…strange feelings for Erwin. They knew the two men better than you did, and could probably crush every hope you had in a few short sentences. No, you would carry this secret to your grave.

“I might have to leave early,” you said, thinking up the perfect excuse to show up to both your evening plans. “I’m going to an art show tomorrow and want to be well rested.”

“Is it your art?”

“No.”

“Then why stress about getting enough sleep? Let loose, party, those paintings aren’t going anywhere.”

You deepened your lie. “The first hundred people to arrive are entered into some sort of giveaway. I thought I’d give it a try.”

Hange started at you quizzically. “Since when have you cared about contests and prizes?”

“I don’t…not usually,” you replied. “I just thought it could be fun to try out.”

“Whatever you say,” Hange said, their cheery expression returning. “Well, I suppose I can forgive you, but only if you wear something deviously sexy tonight.”

“Hange!”

“I don’t make the rules,” they shrugged. “Oh, also help me out. Should I go in a dress or a suit, I don’t really know what I’m feeling.”

You knew the answer to this question.

“I think your grey suit is one of my favorites, especially when you wear those brown shoes. It’s the perfect look.”

Hange beamed.

“I knew I could count on your taste,” they exclaimed. “I’ll see you at seven forty-five.”

“It starts at eight though.”

“As my friend, you are obligated to arrive early, especially since you’re leaving early too. It’s only fair.”

You pretended to groan, rolling your eyes with so much exaggeration, you almost felt them travel to the side of your head.

By the time you reached your apartment, it was almost five. You had some time to get ready before you had to make your way to the hotel where Hange always hosted their party. You glanced at the dress you had hanging in your closet. It was a blue cowl neck piece with straps instead of sleeves, the length falling pleasantly to your knees. It was simple, but paired well with a short leather jacket, and when you had tried it on, you loved the way the satin had hugged your curves in just the right places.

Part of you wanted to wear the dress now and lounge around in your apartment for a while, but you knew that that was a bad idea. You would somehow manage to spill something on it, or sit on a red marker and stain it in a rather unflattering way. It had happened with another dress before, and you were cautious so it never happened again.

After having an apple as a quick snack, you started the process of getting ready, hoping that your plan would work out. It didn’t even cross your mind to tell Levi until just before you left.

--I’m going to the party, but I’ll leave early so if you’d like to wait in the apartment I can send you the code to get in.

You didn’t wait for his reply. Instead, you let anticipation build in your stomach as you drove to the address Hange had given you. You were excited to see them in a more relaxed setting. You were excited to see Erwin there.

[karasuno-volley]

AKAASHI KEIJI + BECOMING A NEW PARENT

plot: there’s nothing but pure fluff and love here !!

pairing: keiji akaashi + fem!reader

a/n: i wanted to write something a little bit more experimental so it’s super short. i decided on using akaashi because I haven’t written for him yet !! i might do this with other characters, so if you want a specific guy (or girl!) let me know !! love, volley.

     For the longest time, Akaashi never left your side. Even at two weeks pregnant, he was by your side like a quiet bodyguard, watching as crowds of people moved around you like the sea. His hand would constantly be in your own, or maybe his arm would be wrapped around your shoulders. Whatever the case, Akaashi was never not touching you. Even when Bokuto came to visit with a pile of presents for the baby and the new nursery, even with one of his closest friends, Keiji was always within ear shot. When you two entangled yourselves together limb by limb, he was so much more than gentle. 

     His hands running down your body, his kisses, whether they be on your lips, down your chest, or elsewhere, are soft and rather exploratory versus the hunger you’ve always known from him. As the nine months draw to a close and your water breaks at four in the morning, Keiji is up and moving, retrieving the baby bag he’s had in the closet for months now. He calls anyone he can think of-- your parents, his, he even wakes Bokuto, who was a bit annoyed at being woken up before a big match, but happy just the same before groggily hanging up on him. You let Akaashi usher you into the car in this overprotective manner, and you laugh slightly. “Keiji, I’m fine. I’m okay.” you tell him over and over again that this was natural, that nothing was going to happen before you make it to the hospital.

     But now, two weeks after she’s born, it’s your daughter that he can’t leave. You find him in the early morning, watching as she sleeps soundly in the bassinet by your bed, rocking it gently. You rub your eyes, still in some pain after leaving the hospital. “... ‘Kaashi,” you mumble sleepily, wrapping your arms around his shoulders from behind, leaving a tired kiss on his jaw. “She’s not going anywhere.” You watch your husband nod before leaning back into you, eyes closing. “I feel like she’ll… I don’t know, stop breathing or something if I leave her alone.” You try not to laugh at his fears-- you’ve had the same one ever since you found out you were pregnant-- the constant fear that something might happen to your child. You take Keiji’s hand, guiding one solitary finger to your daughter’s open palm. She was so tiny, so fragile, and Keiji resists your movements slightly, but eventually sighs and lets you attach his finger to his daughter’s hand, and just as you suspected, she latched onto it quickly, giving a tiny, dreamy sigh. Akaashi watches with new eyes, fascinated at this little life the two of you created together. “See?” You hum, turning your face to the crook of his neck. “She knows there’s nothing to be afraid of.”

     You never found out, but when you went back to sleep, Akaashi didn’t move from that position for at least two hours. Later that morning, when your eyes open to the soft cries from your hungry child, Keiji embraces you from behind, one hand gently touching your stomach. He groans slightly when waking up, but instead of being annoyed, he kisses you gently, eyes bright as he whispers: “I want another one.”

[grooperstan]

the rivers overlap

it was a brisk morning. the wind brought with it a chill and cloud cover sky that changed an otherwise perfect day. though it was spring according to the time of year, the weather had yet to get the memo. still, griffin woke with an exploratory passion in their head. they desired nothing more than to explore the city of new york with their close friend cooper, giving him a call soon after waking.

“cooper, be ready to explore the city in 30 minutes. meet me at our spot.” they instructed.

“huh? wait what’s happening?” grumbled cooper. he had just woken himself and had yet to arrive to himself fully. some of his blood was occupied in his southern hemisphere, more quickly rushed there at the sound of his friend’s strict but kind tone.

“our spot. the city. 30 minutes. love you bro.” griffin said quickly as he was searching for the perfectly yassified outfit to explore the city with his bro.

“okay yeah sure” griffin mumbled pulling himself out of bed.

griffin, of course, arrived first. but only by a few seconds. their timing was uncanny. they greeted each with a quick bro kiss, as they always did. there adventures were only as good as the starting kiss, and this was a good one, giving both parties a little chub. maybe one day they’d admit their feelings for each other and become more than bros. maybe today was that day.

their adventure started at a thrift store. the shop had little to offer in means of a yassifiable clothing, but more than made up for it in fun for the two to have. griffin tried on several items to model for cooper, each more revealing than the last. they had hopes of piquing the interest of their friend, or at least peaking his pants. after that seemed to have failed, griffin saw a mannequin. the likeness to cooper was uncanny. “this gives me an idea to be part of our tiktok recap of the adventure.” seconds later cooper was posing on an adjacent table imitating the mannequin and griffin was filming away on his phone, growing more and more fond of their friend.

their adventure next took on an intimate walk through the city to their next destination. they were both enjoying the walk in a way that was anything but platonic, still neither had worked up the courage to admit their feelings to the other. instead they made jokes because they loved to see the other smile. the joke that they decided to film for the tiktok was one of a twink radar. they both knew that the other was the twink for them.

along their walk they passed another thrift store. here, they found some great yassifiable clothes. griffin pointed several things out to cooper, explaining several ways to yassify each one. cooper hung onto every word, each a sweet treat from his desired lover. the feelings soon became too much for cooper, he quickly found something to break the tension.

he held up a grey tank top that boasted the italian flag and the word “italia.” “yassify this one,” cooper challenged with a laugh.

griffin laughed at their little inside joke. they were slightly aroused by the challeging tone of cooper and the intimate nuance of an inside joke. “that’s perfect!” he responded, pulling out his phone. “don’t move!” griffin opened his camera app and filmed a quick clip of his friend holding the tank top to add to the tiktok.

they took another intimate stroll after leaving the shop. this time it took them through one of the city’s parks. they got lost in a deep conversation that neither of the two cared about the chill in the air. they also both thought the other looked so cute with the little patch of red on their nose. the came to a crossing of two rivers in the park. griffin was struck with inspiration for the final clip of their tiktok.

“okay sit there. im going to make a himbo comment about these two rivers and then i’ll walk over to you and we’ll kiss. it’ll drive our fans crazy,” griffin explained with a giggle. they were giddy at the fact that cooper was going along with the plan.

cooper thought the clip idea was one of genius. he also felt overjoyed by the ending. he didn’t give the slightest hint of this though, playing reluctant for the show of it.

“these rivers… overlap,” griffin stated. then they walked over, leaned in, closed their eyes, and kissed cooper. they would end the clip for the tiktok there. “it’ll leave them in suspense,” he’d justify later. though the real reason was something they weren’t ready to share yet.

as griffin pulled away from the kiss, cooper reached up and pulled them back in for a longer, more intimate kiss. this left griffin speechless as they pulled away for a second time, this time ending the video. “there’s two takes for the tiktok, just in case,” cooper explained jokingly. the look of disappointment on griffin’s face must of been obvious because cooper quickly added, “actually griffin-”

before he could finish the sentence, griffin had grabbed him by the cheeks and pulled him up for a kiss that would have gotten them burned at the stakes in the 1600s. it was one of passion, of tension, of release. the two mouths practically became one having shared both saliva and tongues. when the finally parted, griffin simply said “i know, bro. i feel the same.”

the two took each other’s hand and journeyed back to griffins college dorm. there they shared a night of lust for each other’s body and love of each other’s mind. in bed the next morning, their bodies overlapped, just as the river in the park had.

[straight-into-the-animus]

Make Out (AltMal)

This was one of the fills for @superfinebeam who requested AltMal to the song Make Out by Julia Nunes as part of the Valentine’s Day Playlist Challenge. I’ve never written AltMal, so I hope this suited!

Warnings: None

Read on Ao3 here!

When they had been younger and circumstances were different, when they hadn’t been so angry -- or as angry --, it had been something else. Touches were fleeting and glancing. Not like the blows delivered and exchanged during training. 

Kisses tended to make them better. They were never able to exchange them for that long, or share too deeply the emotions that might have gone into them were they different or in different places.

For all this, both men could only hope that whatever words were exchanged in the fiery day, under the all seeing sun, didn’t have a place in the cooler night time where no one was around. Not that it was forgotten, but a bit more forgiven.

This did not last. But while it did… It was nice.

----------

The entire time Malik had known Altair -- meaning, their entire lifetimes -- the man had never been able to sit and settle. Not that you were encouraged to do that as an Assassin, in terms of settling. But sitting and being patient, that was sort of encouraged, in some aspects. You were meant to be aware of yourself, to understand. It helped once you understood yourself to understand how you affected the world around you. 

These were all important things. And yet, so often forgotten.

And Malik couldn’t help but remember this as he watched Altair strut around the Jerusalem Bureau, forgetting one of the few rules Malik now had and was able to enforce over the now-novice.

“When I ask you to prepare for a mission, I ask you to do it quietly.”

“Would you rather I scream?”

“I’d rather you stay in one place.”

“I thought you were enjoying my company.”

“Oh?” Malik spared a glance from his maps -- he hadn’t even gotten to work on them with being too focused on Altair, the complete ass -- and glanced up to see the other man standing in front of him, watching him with sharp eyes despite the hood. It wasn’t a look that disarmed him too much, he was used to it. And yet… It was familiar. “What gives you such an idea?”

“You could have told me to leave a long time ago. Or not allowed me to stay at all.”

“Whatever you may believe I may think of you, I would not shove an Assassin out of a sanctuary if he needed it.”

“Truly?”

Malik grunted in response and looked back down at his map, though he didn’t know where to start again with it. Altair wasn’t done.

“Would you be upset if I left and took the noise with me?”

“I’d have peace.”

“I don’t believe that’s an answer.”

Malik said nothing to that, feeling himself being backed into some corner somehow. Altair always had that sort of way, though he never understood it. By all rights he could belittle or shame him for acting this way to his betters, and Malik did think on this and used it to draw himself to his full height to look Altair in his eyes.

“If you excuse me, novice. I have to work.”

“As usual.” Altair nodded just a bit, eyes scoping Malik just a bit as he did. “I won’t take up much more of your time, then.”

Malik barely got out a farewell before the man was gone, white robes barely leaving a trace behind him.

----------

“Why do you do these things?” Malik asked the next time Altair came around and did the same routine, unwilling to allow him some sort of leg up. Altair was unperturbed.

“Do what things?”

“Is your existence on this world made with the purpose to upset me? Do you get some sort of pleasure from that?”

“Why would it?” He asked, still in such a measured tone, but even Malik could sense he had caught the once ‘great Assassin’ off guard.

“Because you do them so often that I’m left to wonder.”

Altair stalked closer so he was right across from Malik, the wood counter being the only divide between that and even then being nothing when only an arm shooting out to grab could be the distance breaker. Malik had his hand planted on the rough wood and leaned on it, making the distance all that much shorter any way, and Altair seemed to meet his stance just enough. He didn’t lean in, but his hands grazed the wood just enough as he started off slowly. His eyes, almost glowing golden despite the dying sun streaming in through the windows, met Malik’s.

“Whatever you believe I may think of you,” Malik recognized his words being echoed back at him but said nothing, allowing the man to continue, “you are likely wrong.”

“I believe you think of me as an inferior still. And that’s why you like to play with me.”

“I don’t play with you.”

“What’s all this then?”

“How else am I going to get your attention when you seem focused on everything but me?”

Malik found it in himself to speak again, almost caught off guard at that. Almost. 

“You need to continue to learn that not everything is about you. We don’t all exist for Altair.”

Altair said nothing at that, leaning in just a bit more. Instead of widening the distance as Malik was sure he was supposed to do, he merely stayed stuck in his spot as if he were in a vat of honey.

“I know that. And… I wish to keep learning things. Things I fear I’ve forgotten.”

“Such as what?”

It was silent and still in the Bureau as Altair leaned in one more time, his only barrier being Malik, who found himself more willing than he believed he would be.

----------

A tongue tracing on the seam of his lips, hands just as exploratory under his robes, Malik could feel himself falling deeper into the feeling evoked from the sensations, fire building somewhere deep inside of him. It was a fire he had missed for so long, something from when he was not much more than a boy, working on becoming a man in many ways. 

He was a man now, for sure. In that transformation he had lost many dear things -- family, body, maybe some of his own soul with it -- but this was something new. Not a replacement for things long gone, but… something else. Perhaps something better?

Not better.

Or yes?

This wasn’t- No.

“Don’t say you have to leave.” 

“Hmm?” Malik was brought back to the present as Altair complained, mouthing the words against his lips before pulling away a bit. His hood was down, rarely, and though something in Malik was glad to see it, it was altogether a… different sight.

“You went into your mind again the way you do when you have to leave me. Or you want to leave me.” 

“It’s not…” Malik looked from where they were sequestered in the corner, sure that no one would barge in and knowing that Altair could hide if anyone did. Still… “I’m still busy. And you’re still meant to do your business.” He somewhat playfully freed his arm and tugged Altair’s hood up a bit more.

“We have time.”

“And we’ll have more time later when I finish what I have to do. Letters to organize, recruits to manage and note-”

“I know you’re already done with those.” Altair interrupted, but there was a tinge of something more… urgent in his voice when he spoke afterwards. “I’m asking. Don’t make me do it again.”

It was quite nice. Although if Malik didn’t know better, he would have thought the man sounded desperate in a way. He even said so. But upon not receiving any reassurance to the contrary, no calls against the bluff…

“Alright, Assassin. As you say. Just a bit longer.” He conceded quietly, leaning back in to kiss Altair’s against the wall as two arms wrapped around him.

How much longer, he was unsure. And he was unsure if he would regret it. But he would give it all the same. Time was something they had so little of now, and though stopping and knowing oneself was important… He knew that, deep down, he didn’t want to stop. And he didn’t need to dig deep to know Altair wouldn’t allow that, either.

I hope you enjoyed! This was part of the Valentine’s Day Playlist Challenge, which has ended, though I will be posting requests all of the month of February and you can read more of what was posted specifically by following the tag in the bolded link above. I have a Masterpost here and more unrelated ideas for writings and prompts here, so feel free to request! If you’d like to support me, I have a ko-fi here but absolutely no pressure on that front. Have a wonderful day!

[wiypt-writes]

Stark Spangled Banner

Ch42: Maybe Baby Part 1- I Made That

Intro: Katie and Emmy both meet a new friend, and Tony and Pepper welcome their baby girl to the world. As the family enjoy the happiness the new addition brings, it leads Steve and Katie to a big decision of their own…

Warnings: Bad Language words. Smut! (NSFW) No under 18s. Teeth rotting fluff…

Pairing: Steve Rogers x OFC Katie Stark

Disclaimer: This is a pure work of fiction and classified as 18+. Please respect this and do not read if you are underage. I do not own any characters in this series bar Katie Stark and the other OCs. By reading beyond this point you understand and accept the terms of this disclaimer.

Chapter 41 Part 2

Stark Spangled Banner Masterlist // Main Masterlist

May 2019

“Come on, Emmy, throw me a bone here!” Katie sighed as she sat in the chair of the coffee shop. “I can’t do anything about it if I don’t know what’s wrong.” She paused and rolled her eyes. “Jesus I sound like Steve.”

Emmy sighed and looked out of the window. “Why do I have to go back?”

“Because.” Katie said, rubbing at her temple “Look, you’ve already been out of school for like nearly a year, and it’s only for a couple of months and then it’s gonna be summer.” “So what’s the point of going then?” Emmy persisted. “Can’t I just wait and go back in September?”

Katie let out a groan, dropped her head into her hands before she heard a soft chuckle. She looked up to see the woman who was behind the counter had come across to clear away the empty mugs on the table. “She sounds just like my daughter.” The red haired lady smiled. “Nothing but back chat.” “I thought a hot chocolate and a muffin would help.” Katie side eyed her foster daughter. “Clearly I was wrong.”

Emmy scowled at her in response.

“The Decimation screwed a lot of things up” The woman sighed. “Tell me about it.” Katie breathed out. At that point the woman was joined by a girl who was the spitting image of her, Katie assuming it to be her daughter.

“Oh.Em.Gee!” The girl spluttered, looking at Katie “You’re Katie Stark, I mean Rogers!”

Katie grimaced and glanced around the shop. There were only three other people in and as they looked over she let out a relieved noise as they simply nodded to her and turned back to their drinks. “Brooke!” The woman chastised before giving Katie an apologetic look. “I’m so sorry, you’re clearly here for a quiet drink and-” “It’s fine.” Katie hastily said, glancing at Emmy who was looking at the girl, frowning.

The woman looked at her daughter before she glanced at Katie, then to Emmy. “Brooke here goes to MS in Brooklyn.” she offered suddenly.

“What’s MS?” Emmy looked at Brooke.

“The Maths and Science Exploratory School.” Brooke nodded. “It’s really cool. Before the err…well, before they used to do all sortsa stuff…” “Brooke, why don’t you take Emmy into the back and show her some of your work and the website?” the woman offered “If that’s ok with you.” She looked to Katie. “Fine by me, what do you think Em?” Katie asked.

Emmy gave a nonchalant shrug. “Whatever.” “Manners!” Katie looked at her sternly. Emmy had the good grace to look a bit abashed when she stood up and turned to Brooke.

“Sorry, yeah I’d like to see.”

Katie watched her go before she looked at the woman “Thank you.” The lady smiled and nodded to Katie’s mug “Refil?” “Please.”

“Coming right up.”

Katie leaned back on the comfy sofa and pulled out her phone. She had a message from Steve, asking her how it was going. She responded with three words ‘Fucking hard work’ before she slid her phone away as the woman came back with two mugs.

“Mind if I join you? Might as well take a break whilst we’re quiet.”

“No, of course not.” Katie gestured with her hands and the woman took a seat on the chair at the other side of the table.

“I’m Jennifer by the way.” She held out her hand “I own this place.” “Nice to meet you.” Katie smiled “I would introduce myself but…”

“My loud mouth daughter did it for you.” Jennifer rolled her eyes. “Yeah, sorry about that. I wasn’t sure she would recognise you and I didn’t want to draw attention to you by warning her not to say anything…”

“Don’t worry about it” Katie shook her head “I mean it’s not like my identity is a secret. It’s just not everyone is particularly pleased to see us now-a-days. They seem to flip from either thanking us all for our efforts or screaming at us that it’s all our fault.”

“People are idiots.” Jennifer said simply “Anyone who blames you guys for any of this needs to get a check of themselves.” Katie smiled, sipping at her coffee “You know this is a really good roast. I’ll have to tip Steve off about it, he’s a coffee fiend.”

Jennifer smiled and then she looked over to the counter before glancing back “So, sorry for being nosey but I know you didn’t have a kid before, well, you know.” “Oh, she’s fostered.” Katie smiled. “I’ve known her since she was eighteen months old and she lost her last foster carers in the snap. We took her in for a night and she never left.”

“That’s good of you.” Jennifer smiled

“Least we could do.” Katie glanced at her coffee “When I look round and see what others lost, it brings it home to me how lucky I was, you know. I mean don’t get me wrong we lost people we cared about, a great deal. But my brother, my family, my husband, all still alive.”

Katie trailed off and thought to their baby. It had struck her on the first anniversary of the snap a few weeks earlier that their baby would have been with them now. Either a boy or a girl, blue or green eyes, blonde or dark, they’d never know.

“You can’t think like that.” Jennifer shook her head. “It doesn’t matter who you didn’t lose, you still lost. Hell, everyone lost, and everyone hurts, regardless of whether it was 1 person or 10. It doesn’t feel any less shit.” “You lost someone?” Katie looked at her.

“My dad.” Jennifer looked at her hands “My mom died a few years back and my husband was killed in Afghanistan not long after Brooke was born. So now it’s just us” “Sorry.” Katie bowed her head as the woman wiped at her eyes “I didn’t mean to…” Jennifer waved away her apology and smiled “Don’t be. It is what it is.” At that point the two girls came back into the main part of the shop, and Emmy was clutching a pile of paper.

“We printed some info off, mom.” Brooke said, “So Emmy can read it later. And we exchanged numbers, so she can text me later if she has questions and stuff.” “Good thinking!” Jennifer smiled.

“Right, you ready to go?” Katie looked at Emmy. “Steve’s cooking so we should go make sure he hasn’t burnt the compound down.”

“You live in the Avengers Compound?” Brooke looked at Emmy, wide eyed “Man that’s awesome.” Emmy smiled before she looked at Katie “What’s Steve-o making?”

“I think he said he was doing carbonara.” “Oh, that was good last time he cooked it.” Katie smiled, pulling on her jacket. “Yeah, it was actually.” She stood up and smiled at Jennifer. “It was really nice to meet you.” She reached into her bag for a twenty to pay but Jennifer waved it away “On the house.” “Oh, no.” Katie protested, dropping the twenty to the table, but the woman picked it up and handed it back. Pursing her lips, Katie spotted the tip jar on the counter and quickly strode over to it, depositing the note through the slot before giving the woman a smug look. Jennifer laughed and shrugged before she reached over the counter and handed Katie a business card.

“My mobile number is on there.” She smiled, “If you ever fancy a chat or a drink some time, anything at all.” “Thanks” Katie beamed. “That’s really kind of you.”

“Bye!” Emmy waved as they exited the shop. She turned to Katie as they walked to the car. “They’re nice.” “Yeah, yeah they are.” Kate smiled “Come on, let’s get home before we’re late and we get the eyebrow of disappointment.”

****** The last week in May brought some unusually cold and wet weather for the time of year, which wasn’t surprising as the climate was still all over the place. It was normally the time of year they celebrated Tony’s birthday on the 29th with a BBQ or something, but there was none of that this time. Not least because of the weather, but more over that his birthday was overshadowed spectacularly by the arrival of his daughter, Morgan Hope Stark some four days earlier on the 25th.

“Guys.” Katie gulped, tears welling in her eyes as her baby niece gently stirred in her arms, her eyes not opening as she moved her hands gently, “She’s…” “Amazing, I know.” Pepper gushed beaming up at Katie from where she was sat, propped up in the hospital bed.

“I made that.” Tony bragged, his chest puffed out. Katie knew how genuinely proud he was simply by the affectionate gleam in his eyes. Pepper rolled her eyes playfully, sharing a look with her sister-in-law.  

Steve’s arm curled round Katie’s waist as he gazed down at the baby in her arms, smiling gently as he smoothed the blanket down to get a closer look. She had a light dusting of dark hair, Tony’s cheekbones and Pepper’s nose.

“Wanna hold Uncle Steve?” Katie asked, looking at him.

“Erm, yeah, sure, that ok?” Steve looked at Pepper and Tony.

“Just don’t drop her.” Tony narrowed his eyes “Or throw her, she’s not a shield.” “Tony, you’re such a dick.” Katie sighed, passing the precious bundle to Steve who gently took her, supporting her head with his large hand.

As Steve cradled the tiny baby in his large arms, filled with wonder at the miniature human he was holding, he suddenly felt a lump in his throat. 

This would have been them.

As Morgan curled her hand around his large index finger the lump grew larger and he fought to keep the tears that had sprung into his eyes from dropping down his cheeks. 

Across the room, Tony curled his arm round his sister’s shoulder and dropped a kiss to her head as she wiped away the single tear that she herself had shed hastily before Steve saw.

Steve collected Emmy later that evening from Brooke’s. Emmy had decided to go to MS after all, and as such the two girls had fast become inseparable during the week and often at weekends too.

“She’s been ever so well behaved and polite.” Jennifer smiled, handing Steve Emmy’s rucksack. Steve nodded and gently placed a large hand on the back of Emmy’s head

“Good.”

“Gerroff.” she shrugged him away “I’m not six.” Steve rolled his eyes as he looked at Jennifer and raised an eyebrow “Clearly just us she gives back chat to.”

Jennifer chuckled “And they say it’s gonna get worse as they get older” “I can’t wait!” Steve replied, sarcastically. The woman laughed, Steve thanked her again and they headed to the car.

“So what’s Morgan like?” Emmy asked as Steve set off back up the main road to head out of Manhattan and towards the Compound. “Does she look like Tony?”

“A little, more like Pepper really.” Steve smiled

“Phew.” Emmy grinned and Steve gave a snort.

“Katie got some photos so she’ll show you when we get home.” Emmy glanced out of the window at the passing trees before she turned back to Steve “Do you think you and Katie will ever have a baby?” Steve’s knuckles tightened on the steering wheel as he took a deep breath, and he instantly regretted it when he felt Emmy recoil in the seat next to him.

“I’m sorry.” she began, and Steve cursed himself for being so damned easy to read. He hated it when she got scared and fearful that she’d done something wrong. Every time they tried to discipline her for misbehaviour she would end up trembling out of deep rooted fear she was going to get a beating.

“Sweetie, I’m not mad, and you have nothing to be sorry for.” Steve sighed, “It’s just, well,” he bit his lip “,in the Snap, Katie and I lost a baby. Katie, was pregnant and we didn’t know.” “Oh.” Emmy frowned, looking back at her hands “That’s sad.” “Yeah.” Steve said with a small smile. The simple words she had used were spot on, there was no other way to describe it. “Yeah it is. But, we got you to look after and you can throw some spectacular tantrums so it’s kinda like having a baby in a way.”

“Rude.” Emmy glared at him, and he couldn’t hide the smile on his face at her indignation.

The two of them arrived home to Katie declaring from her spot on the sofa that she didn’t want to cook so had ordered take-out Pizza much to Emmy’s delight, but one look at his wife told Steve she’d been crying. As soon as their foster daughter was out of earshot and had gone to her room he sat down next to her and turned to face her.

“What’s wrong, Sweetheart?”

“I’m fine.” She shrugged, and Steve quirked an eyebrow.

“You forget Mrs Rogers, I can read you like a book.” He snaked his fingers in between hers and she took a deep breath “Talk to me, honey.”

“Just seeing you there with Morgan before, I couldn’t help but feel that…” she stumbled over her words as her tears began to form again “That could have, should have been us, you know?” Steve sighed and gently reached out to her, pulling her to his chest.

“I know.” He whispered softly, dropping kiss to her head “I know.”

“They would have been coming up for six months old now, give or take.” Katie sighed gently and his arms tightened around her. Taking a deep breath he decided to voice what was on his mind and dropped his head slightly, nudging her face up with his nose.

“You know, we could always…” He trailed off, and she licked her lips as she looked at him, understanding immediately what he was suggesting.

“I dunno.” She sighed, “I mean I like the idea, but…” “But?”

“I’m scared, Steve.” “What of?” “Well, that something will go wrong.”

“Why would it go wrong?” he frowned.

“It did last time.”

He sighed. “Katie, nothing you could have done would have made a difference. Once he snapped…”

“Do you really want kids?” She cut him off, looking at him.

“Yeah, I do.” He answered honestly “I wasn’t that bothered about it before but now, well with Emmy being here and Morgan, the thought of our own child, running around, one that’s half me half you…I can’t even begin to explain how amazing that feels.” Katie looked down at her hands and Steve took a deep breath. “But if it’s not what you want then it doesn’t matter” He gently titled her face up to look at him.

She looked at him, her eyes locked onto his and her words were almost a whisper. “I do want. I want a baby with you.” His eyes flashed and he gave a grin. “Well that’s good, I’d be worried if you wanted one with someone else.” “Jerk.” She scoffed, hitting his chest as he laughed before she took a deep breath “Maybe we could like try but not try.” “I’m not following.” Steve frowned.

Katie sighed. “I don’t wanna get hung up on it.” She shrugged “No pressure. So maybe not try as such, just don’t try to stop anything.”

Steve smiled, if he was honest, a baby to him should be borne out of love and not some kind of weird planned parenting mission. 

“Is that ok with you?” she looked at him. “Oh, Kitten.” Steve’s face split into a huge grin and he took her face in both his hands “It is very, very ok.”

******

August 2019

“Thor came here?” Katie asked as she looked at Tony, the two of them sat on his porch. Katie was bouncing Morgan on her knee whilst Emmy was busy helping Pepper feed Gerald, Tony’s newest addition, an Alpaca.

“Yup.” Tony nodded “He came to see Morgan. He’s errr, changed.” “Changed?”

“Yeah, erm, he’s a little bit portly.”

“Portly?” Katie stopped what she was doing until Morgan let out a screech, encouraging her to continue. “As in…” “Fat.” Tony nodded.

Katie snorted “Bullshit…” “Straight up Kiddo. Apparently he’s got his brewers working on a new beer. Clearly been sampling it a little too much.”

“Other than that how did he seem?” Katie asked. Despite herself she couldn’t help but wonder how the man she had once been good friends with was holding up. Tony took a deep breath “Ok, I think. I mean it was a surprise him showing up. I haven’t seen him since, well, that day at the compound.” “He took what happened really hard” Katie sighed. “But the rest of us had to move on, he needs to do the same. I tried to talk sense into him…” “You punched him in the face.” Tony raised an eyebrow. “He deserved it.” “I know.” Tony paused “And for what it’s worth, he hates himself for it. He told me.” “Well maybe he should apologise.” Katie shrugged, and that was the end of the conversation. They stayed for a few hours before heading back to the compound and, given that it was a nice night Katie and Natasha retired to the large garden area and the hot tub for a girl’s night in.

“You talk to Steve today?” Nat asked, pouring Katie a glass of wine from the ice bucket at the side.

“Not yet.” Katie shook her head, turning from where she had been watching Emmy playing fetch with Lucky to look at her “I’ll speak to him later. He’s ready for home though. Keeps moaning about how the chef doesn’t make Mac and Cheese as well as me.”

“He loves it really.” Nat grinned.

“Yeah, he does.” Katie smiled “It’s nice to see him so focussed, you know with something to do.”

“When’s he back? Feels like he’s been gone for ages”

“He has, it’s been almost three weeks this time” Katie smiled, “But he’s home in a couple of days and on that I got a favour to ask. Could you maybe have Emmy for us? Thought we might go out or…” “Or stay in?” Nat raised her eyebrows, smirking.

“Something like that.” Katie snorted.

“Yeah, no probs. We can have a girl’s night in my apartment.” She nodded over to the pre-teen who was running across the lawns. “She’s never any trouble.” “Thanks Nat.” Katie smiled, sipping her wine and pulling a face at the sour taste.

“How’s she been recently?” Nat nodded to Emmy.

“Good.” Katie nodded. “The nightmares have pretty much stopped. She still gets a bit reserved now and then but I think getting her back to school has helped a lot. She’s a bright kid, good at art as well as the technology and science. Should see her and Steve when they get going.”

“Yeah they seem pretty close.” Nat smiled.

“She’s like his shadow when he’s here.” Katie snorted. “I don’t get a look in.” She took another sip of her drink and shook her head. “Does that taste right to you?”

“It tastes fine, but then so did that Tuna you said was off.” “It was off.” Kate grimaced, nodding to the dog that was currently splashing in the shallows of the river, after his ball “Even Lucky wouldn’t eat it.”

“Well I ate it and I’m fine” Nat shrugged.

Katie took another sip shook her face before tipping her wine into Nat’s glass “I can’t drink that. It’s nasty.” “Errr, that is a fifteen year old vintage, stolen from Tony’s old stash in the cellar!” Natasha grinned.

“Don’t give a fuck what it is, it’s gross.” Katie shrugged, standing up and stepping out of the tub. “I’ll stick to the beer.”

She pulled a Bud out of the fridge, twisted the top off and threw it into the garbage. She took a swig as she walked back outside and, as she sank back down into the water, Nat took a deep breath and leaned forward.

“I got an email from Rhodey. More bodies have turned up, this time in Johannesburg, some drugs baron and his cronies.” “Clint?” Katie asked, pausing her beer half way to her mouth as she nodded.

“It’s his MO.”

Over the past six months more and more bodies had been turning up, along with numerous witnesses, which led them to the conclusion that Clint was acting as some kind of vigilante, hunting down Crime Lord Syndicates and taking them down one by one. Natasha at first had point blank refused that it was him, until one of Rhodey’s contacts had sent an extremely clear shot from some CCTV footage. There was no denying, it was Clint. Natasha had been heartbroken, locking herself away and refusing to speak to anyone, emerging only when Steve threatened to kick her door in. She’d opened it, red eyed but with a glimmer of a smirk on her face and called him a “bossy, interfering bastard.”

“Any leads on where he could be?” Katie asked

Nat shook her head “he doesn’t want to be found. But then, when have I ever listened?”

They drank and talked until late in the evening, probably more than they should have done which is why the next morning Katie woke up with a killer hangover and barely made it to the toilet. She threw the contents of her stomach into the bowl before standing up, splashing cold water onto her face and heading to make sure Emmy was up and getting ready. Sometimes, being a responsible adult sucked.

Once she had managed to get Emmy packed off to the summer day-camp her School was running, she grabbed a slice of toast and an orange juice and felt ready to face walking and talking at the same time. She called Steve quickly, who wasted no time in telling her that they’d drunk called him the night before. Katie groaned as he laughed down the handset, before the conversation grew slightly more serious and he said that Rhodey had filled him in on the murders in Johannesburg. They discussed it for a while when he declared he had to go and after promising to speak to him later that evening, sober, Katie cut the call.

She headed down to the common room to find Nat was already in there.

“Hangover too?” Natasha looked at Katie pulling a face. “I feel like shit. How much did we drink?”

“Enough.” Katie sighed “You sank two bottles of that wine, I went through a full crate of bud.” “And that was before the vodka.” Nat groaned, dropping her face into her hands. Katie grimaced, picking up a bottle of water and taking a long drink before they got down to business, looking over some plans for an old School they were intending to acquire to make into a half way hours for the older teenagers that had been left without homes or families in the snap. Too old to be in an orphanage or children’s home, Natasha had pointed out they probably needed somewhere they could live independently, but safely. It was a great idea and one Katie was fully behind.

“I’ll get it typed up into a formal proposal this evening,” Katie nodded to Nat “then we can start the ball rolling. All goes according to plan we can get the Real Estator on the phone tomorrow and push ahead with the purchase”

Nat nodded. “Yeah, about that.” Katie groaned “You’re going to Johannesburg aint you?” “I have to.” 

“Nat…”

“He’d do the same for me.”

“When?” Katie sighed, knowing there was no point in trying to talk her out of it. “This evening. I don’t know how long I’ll be gone.”

“Just be careful,” Katie said, “and prepared. Chances are you won’t like what you find.”

“I know.” She said, her eyes tearing over. “But I have to try.” Katie nodded, dropping a hand to her shoulder as she picked up the files and laptop before leaving her to her thoughts.

She was sat in the office working on the proposal that evening when she heard the jet taking off. Glancing out of the window Katie watched as it shot into the grey sky and vanished behind a cloud. Emmy paused to look up from where she was outside on the lawn with Lucky before she tuned to look at Katie, mouthed the universal sign for “I’m hungry” and Katie grinned, deciding to call it quits for the night.

**** Chapter 42 Part 2

[cyraptor]

Top 20 Zelda games of 2021

As many of you may or may not know, I spent roughly the first nine months of 2021 playing (or replaying in many cases) every single main series Zelda game. Since I don’t think I played more than maybe one game that actually came out in 2021 I couldn’t very well do a Top 10 for the year, but I’ve been wanting to rank the Zeldas for a while so people would yell at me about putting LTTP so low, so this is how I have decided to spend the last day of the worst year of my life. I did not proofread this. Enjoy!

#20: Link’s Crossbow Training Okay obviously this one doesn’t really count but you can’t have a “Top 19” list. It’s actually pretty decent for what it is, which is a peripheral pack-in that reuses all of its assets from Twilight Princess, but it’s still, y’know… that.

#19: Zelda II: The Adventure of Link Here is my actual least favorite Zelda game. Utterly miserable “Nintendo hard” bullshit with extremely little to make up for it. Having both lives AND a leveling system is idiotic; it’s too hard to survive long enough to get enough XP to level up after a certain point in the game. Also the wretched swordfighting system becomes completely untenable with some of the later enemies and it feels like you’re engaging in a damage race guessing game. Maybe I’m just uniquely bad at this game? I dunno. I guess I appreciate that they were trying to do something different from the first game, but, like Castlevania II, I think it’s an abject failure. Maybe the only Zelda game I think is truly BAD.

#18: Four Swords (first time playing) Four Swords, like Link’s Crossbow Training, ends up low on the list not so much because it’s bad but because it’s just a nothingness. It’s essentially just a bonus multiplayer mode included with the GBA version of LTTP. You just run around a semi-procedurally-generated (I think?) map collecting Rupees and occasionally there’ll be some enemies or mild puzzles to solve to progress. There’s very little else to it, although the very nice pixel art presages Minish Cap’s. The hook here is the multiplayer facet, which I experienced by mapping two Links to the left and right sides of a single controller and controlling both simultaneously myself. It was a very unique way to experience a game, and fortunately very little in it requires both Links to move/act in concert. It made the bosses pretty hard though!

#17: Four Swords Adventures (first time playing) Something you’re going to see a lot in this list is me factoring a game’s aesthetics into its ranking a disproportionately high amount, and FSA easily takes the biggest hit from this. This feels for all the world like a fangame to me. It uses the Link sprites from Four Swords (good), but lifts most of the rest of its graphics from LTTP (bad). There’s some new spritework that ranges from fine to terrible, and then there’s a handful of digitized Wind Waker models which look spectacularly out of place. The end result is a gross, amateurish hodgepodge of a game that feels devoid of any sense of a unique identity. The actual gameplay is a linear, level-based pastiche of the Zelda formula, which isn’t the worst experience in the world but strips out a lot of the series’ exploratory appeal. Maybe it’s more fun in multiplayer, even though it seems to utilize the multi-Link mechanics more sparingly than the other multi-Link games.

#16: Tri Force Heroes (first time playing) Yet another multiple-Link game that’s probably not primarily designed to be experienced in single-player, but that’s how I played it and that’s how I’m going to review it. This is a lot closer to the original Four Swords in gameplay than Adventures, except that it has actually properly designed stages with real puzzles and obstacles and is much better off for it. That said, it’s still pretty shallow and requires you to sink an enormous amount of time playing the same stages over and over in order to 100% it (not to mention the 24-hour-cooldown gacha stuff that makes it feel like a mobile game you can’t throw money at to speed up). The story (really just a premise) is also extremely dumb and low-stakes and may as well not exist.

#15: Spirit Tracks (first time playing) I will address most of my problems with Spirit Tracks in my entry for Phantom Hourglass, as they all apply to this one as well. Having said that, Spirit Tracks is a mild improvement over its predecessor in most respects: a more unique premise, better story, better dungeons. It’s also one of the only Zelda games to feature Zelda as an active protagonist as opposed to being damseled or just being a non-presence for most of the game for one reason or another, which is nice I guess. Having said that, it’s completely brought down by the titular train mechanic. It takes goddamn forever to travel from one place to another, which this game requires a lot of, and you have to be paying attention for the duration of a trip because you need to kill enemies or remove obstacles from the track constantly or else you have to start over. And unlike pretty much every other Zelda game with an overworld, you never unlock any sort of warp/fast-travel ability to get around quicker - there ARE teleports you can activate on the tracks that warp you from point-to-point, but they are literally never in places that would ever be useful. One of the most tedious Zelda games out there.

#14: Phantom Hourglass Phantom Hourglass’s biggest downfall is that it was designed for the DS. First of all, it looks like shit, like all 3D DS titles do, with the low-res textures deforming around the low-poly models in the most aesthetically unpleasing way possible. And of course, the controls are nonsense - having to use the stylus for general movement control adds nothing and never feels good. The game also suffers for trying to recreate Wind Waker on a smaller scale and, as a result, inviting negative comparison to its far superior predecessor. Also, much has been said of having to do the Temple of the Ocean King or whatever it’s called like 5 or 6 times over the course of the game, and while there’s ways to make that experience slightly less tedious on repeat visits, even in the best of circumstances it’s still extremely obnoxious and was a bad idea.

#13: A Link to the Past Okay, this is the one I know I’m going to catch the most shit for. Let me preface this by saying there is a pretty wide gulf between Phantom Hourglass (which is in the “bad third” of the list) and LTTP (which is in the “decent third”). The thing about LTTP is that I never played it as a kid. I didn’t sit down and give it a serious chance until like 2007, when I had played most of the 3D Zeldas released up to that point. At the time of its release I’m sure it was a massive revelation and a huge improvement over Zelda 1, and influential to games that came later, and I know it’s a lot of people’s childhood Zelda. But to me, with no nostalgia for it and with the perspective of the current day, it’s just like, the absolute baseline Zelda experience that is perfectly fine but doesn’t really excel at any one thing. There’s virtually no narrative, the spritework has the same jank that many early-SNES first party games did (I think the environments are quite nice though), it’s too dungeon-heavy, and the Dark World, while decent in concept, feels kind of half-baked. The game just kind of feels like a slog to me and every time I revisit it I struggle to get all the way through it without losing interest. I dunno what else to say. Sorry!!!

#12: The Legend of Zelda Once in a while I can enjoy sitting down and cracking the “puzzle” of an abstruse game - usually an older one - by doing stuff like mapping out the whole world and writing down all the in-game clues (had a good time doing this with Dragon Quest 1 and MSX Metal Gear in recent memory, and the Souls series has a modern twist on a similar vibe too). Zelda’s a pretty good game for it, especially with the manual on hand to gradually ease yourself into that mindset through the early stages, and that’s why it’s more enjoyable than LTTP for me, even if the later game is an objective improvement on pretty much all fronts. The second quest with its obtuse progression and hordes of Darknuts, Wizzrobes and sword-stealing Bubbles can fuck off though.

#11: Twilight Princess Twilight Princess had to have been the most anticipated Zelda game ever, right? Many sad people didn’t enjoy Wind Waker’s more lighthearted tone and art style and wanted “another” “serious” “edgy” Zelda game like OOT, and there was like a 4-year buildup to its release. And when it finally arrived, that’s exactly what TP turned out to be: Ocarina of Time, again. I feel like it was kind of a damned if you do/damned if you don’t situation for Nintendo, and the end result is by no means a bad game, but undeniably a cynical and uninspired one. It has a very similar map and follows a very similar progression to OOT, with a few new wrinkles that keep it just barely fresh enough to make it feel like its own thing. I felt this way about it at the time and it didn’t really change my mind on replaying it. If it’d been the only Zelda game I’d ever played I could see loving it… but it’s not. Also: it’s very ugly!

#10: Oracle of Ages The Oracle games are fairly inextricable from each other, so most of what I have to say about them will probably be said in the Seasons entry, but of the two I enjoyed Ages less. The dungeon puzzles were far more obtuse, to the point where I needed to reference guides multiple times. The time travel/parallel overworlds gimmick had also already been done better in previous games. Ages also takes the award for Zelda game I played the most times in 2021, with a total of three consecutive playthroughs (a “100%” Oracle experience requires 2 playthroughs of each, but I decided I wanted to play the unlinked version of Ages before the linked one for some reason. Not recommended).

#9: Oracle of Seasons Jeez I don’t even know what to say about the Oracle games, it’s all a blur now. Seasons was a way smoother ride than Ages, I do remember that. I like the season-changing gimmick more than the past/present one - at its core, it’s just yet another “parallel overworld” situation, but the puzzle-solving aspect of it felt smaller-scale and easier to grasp than Ages. Speaking to the duology as a whole, the linking aspect is kind of a neat idea and worth doing once (if only for the “true ending”), but I don’t know if it’s really worth playing it “both ways” like I did - the changes in the second game aren’t significant enough to warrant a revisit. The ring system is a theoretically fun mechanic that becomes murderously tedious if you’re a completionist (and technically impossible without cheating if you’re not playing on GBA - yes, you get a special ring for playing this GBC cart on a Game Boy Advance, and can’t get it on Virtual Console). All in all I see the Oracle games as nice followups to Link’s Awakening that are a little too bogged down with ambition to supersede the simple joy of their predecessor.

#8: Link’s Awakening It’s hard to say why I rate Link’s Awakening as highly as I do when I have no nostalgia for it and so many caveats about liking it. It’s very bad about holding the player’s hand (especially at the beginning), with multiple bosses explicitly describing how to defeat them. The one dungeon where you have to carry the big ball and smash the pillars is very obtuse and annoying. It’s the first Zelda game to contain a trading sequence and (I believe?) the only one in which it’s mandatory to complete the game. But something about it - the tropical island setting, the goofy characters, the overworld map that doesn’t waste a single screen - just delights the hell out of me. The Switch remake, despite its inscrutably inconsistent performance, is very pretty and adheres shockingly close to the original game. Its dungeon-building mode was a nice idea but kind of lame in practice.

#7: A Link Between Worlds A Link Between Worlds skirts the line between remake and sequel, but boy howdy do I like it so much more than LTTP. Part of it’s just the 20+ years of quality of life improvements made to the series being applied to the already-solid foundation of the original game, but there’s also a ton of new items and elements added to the game to give the dungeons a bit more variety and personality than they once had. The item rental system is interesting but flawed since although it allows you to play the dungeons in any order, it also means the dungeons didn’t have anything in them besides the boss and they also have to stick to a similar difficulty level. But I don’t play games to be challenged, I play them so I can fill in cells in a spreadsheet no one else will ever see. Also I thought the wall-merging gimmick was cool without feeling like too much of a crutch, and the Lorule/Dark World aspect was executed better than in the original. Sorry!!!

#6: Skyward Sword (first time playing) I’ve spent the last decade hearing how horrible Skyward Sword is, so I was very excited when they announced the Switch port (whose release coincidentally lined up perfect with my replay project) so I could play it and be a big contrarian by saying how much I loved it. And here we are! Seriously though, maybe it’s precisely because I was expecting to hate it that I was so pleasantly surprised by it, but I honestly really enjoyed my time with it. I can’t speak for the original version and how much (if at all) the remaster improved on its flaws, but I found the mapping-the-sword-to-the-right-stick solution to be perfectly serviceable (with the sole exception of now needing to hold a shoulder button to move the camera with the stick, rather than them just reprogramming the camera to move automatically to mitigate needing to do so). The sword gimmickry is sort of integral to the game’s mechanics so they really couldn’t have removed it entirely, but I think it’s kind of fun anyway! It’s certainly more engaging than mashing a single attack button like I usually do in Zelda games. Skyloft, like the Great Sea, is a fun twist on the typical Zelda overworld formula, although it does feel a bit empty out there. The hub town and its characters feel fun and fleshed out in the same way that Wind Waker, Minish Cap, and Majora’s Mask’s do, there’s just… not much else. It’s maybe the prettiest of the 3D Zeldas though and has the best girl Zelda.

#5: The Minish Cap (first time playing) I wasn’t really sure what to expect from The Minish Cap. It’s a game that tons of people apparently played but never held particularly strong opinions about, good or bad, which is weird for a Zelda game. What I got was one of the most surprising and delightful entries on this list. Minish Cap is a pretty small game - well, literally, in that you frequently shrink down to the size of a little mouse guy (an idea I have found very enchanting since the days of playing Micro Machines on Genesis) - but also in that it’s basically just a hub town, with a fairly small overworld surrounding it and only like four dungeons in the entire game. What it may lack in quantity it more than makes up for in quality, with charm oozing out of every square inch. Its Kinstone fusion mechanic makes interactions with NPCs feel a little like Majora’s Mask-lite (although the rewards are frequently completely pointless), and the few dungeons and their associated items have some of the most innovative ideas ever seen in the series. On top of everything, Minish Cap is one of the most exquisite looking 2D games I have ever laid eyes on. This has some of the best spritework and especially tilework I’ve ever seen. I forgot to mention Capcom when I was discussing the Oracle games, but who cares, THIS is their crowning achievement in the Zeldasphere.

#4: Breath of the Wild (first time playing) I haven’t actually finished this one yet but I spent basically my entire 2-week summer vacation playing it so I feel pretty qualified including it on this list. Breath of the Wild is a game that has been so hyped up to me for years that I thought there was no way that it could meet my expectations, yet it pretty much did. I thought I knew how big the game was and it’s so, so much larger than I ever could have believed Nintendo capable of. It makes Skyrim look like Bob-omb Battlefield. It takes the exploration factor of Zelda games like the original and Wind Waker and cranks it up 1000%. It’s an incredible experience for someone like me who relishes just exploring a big, natural-feeling world in a video game. It’s not perfect though! I think the hundreds of barely distinct weapons and shields could have been pared way down, and the degradation aspect doesn’t add much to the game besides inconvenience. I think the cooking system is okay in theory, but again, the ingredients list could have been whittled way down. Conversely, the enemy variety is bizarrely thin considering the scale of the rest of the game and I would like to have seen a larger bestiary. And while the shrines and Divine Beasts are fun and creative, they don’t really make up for a complete lack of proper dungeons. At the end of the day, though, Nintendo took some uncharacteristically huge risks with this game and they almost categorically paid off, so these minor protests doesn’t necessarily bring down the game as a whole for me, and hopefully can be addressed in the sequel.

#3: The Wind Waker I like the ocean and I like exploration in video games and The Wind Waker is a Zelda game about exploring the ocean. It also got me through a particularly rough spring semester my first year of college. But on top of that I also think it’s just a good game on its own merits. It’s probably to date still one of the most unique settings of a Zelda game, but it anchors (pun) itself to the series lore without feeling overly dependent on it. Even though its lighthearted tone and cartoony art style were its biggest point of criticism at release (less so now thankfully), I think it’s one of Wind Waker’s biggest strengths. The worst thing about it is probably the fact that you’re railroaded along the main storyline for a shockingly long time before you’re allowed to explore freely, and that the first dungeon is a terrible stealth mission. I don’t think I enjoyed it as much on revisit as I did my original time through (this year’s being the Wii U HD version, whose “upgrades” I don’t think make it look especially better than the original), but it still holds a special place in my heart.

#2: Majora’s Mask I got the N64 version of Majora’s Mask on release and bounced off it so, so many times before finally giving it a second (or technically like fifth) chance when the 3DS remake came out. Some people dog on the remake, saying it changed too much, but I think it’s all for the better. N64 MM is ROUGH. It was way too ambitious for that console, and even with the expansion pack it struggled to run and looked like shit. The 3DS version is an incredible visual upgrade, and the various quality of life improvements it also makes are what finally got me to break through its rough starting hours, so to me it’s good. The game itself is incredibly expansive and deep but you’re not forced to engage with all of the sidequests and stuff if you just want to experience the main story. You can put as little or as much as you want into this game and you will be rewarded for it in kind. It has probably the richest cast of characters of any Zelda game and it’s a challenge and a delight to see some of their stories through to the end. This is, understandably and justifiably, the most polarizing Zelda game, I think. It’s probably the toughest to get into but it also feels like the most fulfilling.

#1: Ocarina of Time Look. I know OOT has received something of a critical reevaluation in recent times after years of being considered the best game of all time by pretty much everyone. But I was ahead of the curve on that shit. OOT was my first Zelda game in 2000 and I don’t think it’d be too much of an overexaggeration to say it’s one of the games that most changed my life. I still love it dearly. I understand it’s maybe not as revelatory in the modern day as it was at release, but it did codify or invent a lot of the stuff that might make it seem passé now. I think this may be a reverse LTTP situation where my opinion is tainted by nostalgia, but this is MY list. Also, the 3DS remake is incredibly good in a “this is the way you remember this game looking but it actually looked way worse” way, and changes much less about the game than the MM remaster did. That’s all thanks for reading

(Note to Tumblr followers: this blog is still dead I just needed someplace to post a huge wall of text. Follow me on twitter @cyraptor​ where I am actually active(ish). Transformers Legacy is not coming back please don’t ask me about it. Thank you)

[dustedmagazine]

Listed: Colin Fisher

Photo by ilyse krivel

Toronto-based multi-instrumentalist Colin Fisher is on a constant quest for the ecstatic through sound. His journey has taken him in many directions, from the math-rock inspired group Sing That Yell That Spell, to the fiery free improvisation duo Not the Wind, Not the Flag. As a band leader, his free jazz quartet released the white-hot Living Midnight for Astral Spirits in 2020, about which Derek Taylor wrote, “Passages of ruminant restraint alternate with excoriating blasts and outbursts, but the means always remains intelligible and momentum driven whether full-steam or incremental.” Solo, Fisher has recently wafted in a more contemplative direction that might see him associated with the new age revival, but this work is as exploratory and engaging as his most spirited improvisational outings. Here, he lists some of the pieces within which he experiences the sublime.

Jean-Pierre Leguay — Chant d’Airain

Some of my first experiences with the sublime in music were in church. I abhorred being in church (and would even attempt to hide to avoid attendance) but at the end of service the organist played as the congregation filed out. The selections were usually secular and I can remember my rapt attention. Not because of some aesthetic taste but because I was having a physical/biological response to the sounds. Being in the resonant chamber of the cathedral provided a fully immersive experience. Rather than suggest whatever music was being played at the time I’m going to fast forward to my mid 20s… While in the same church, I heard the principal organist of Notre Dame improvise with some Messiaen-symmetrical ideas that lifted me out of my corporeal form and left me sobbing in a church pew at the very church I would have done everything in my power not to be present in as a child. The organist was Jean-Pierre Leguay.

Ravi Shankar — At Monterey Pop

An early transmission from what seemed like outer space at the time, as a young child I heard the sounds of Ravi Shankar and Alla Rakha live at Monterey Pop (my parents had this and the record with Yehudi Menuhin.) Ravi is far from my fav Hindustani musician or sitarist, of which I have innumerable favorites now. But I’m particularly enamored with Vilayat Khan after reading his biography, The Sixth String of Vilayat Khan, a couple of years ago. Pandit Pran Nath is also a huge inspiration.

Polvo — Cor-Crane Secret

Without sifting through the rubble of my punk/hardcore teens (which was totally legit inspirational beauty, from Minor Threat and straight edge to grunge, etc.) I want to highlight a band that literally changed my life in my mid to late teens. When I first heard Cor-Crane Secret by Polvo, I didn’t realize that music like this existed. It gave me permission to go on long wonky improvisational explorations — endless melodies and whammied chords that would go on for hours sometimes. I also got to see them on the Today’s Active Lifestyles tour when I was 18, totally life changing.

Ornette Coleman — The Shape of Jazz to Come

The next stage I’ll focus on has a little more girth: my introduction to jazz/free jazz/improv/fusion. I think I first discovered this music by accident. I remember seeing a clip of Monk on the news the day he died. I was much younger, and I thought to myself “this music is like an alien transmission!” But I put that away in the vaults for a couple of decades. I also remember seeing a clip on TV of a soprano player at a jazz fest in Toronto, playing the craziest shit I’d ever heard (once again on a news program,) but had little-to-no context. The clip lasted probably 10 seconds but felt longer and I remember thinking something like “this is more punk rock than punk rock!” hahaha. So, there was a hunger there that I needed to satiate. But I had no access to any recordings where I lived. I remember reading books at the library about jazz history and the only CDs I could borrow were Manteca or big band music. I had to imagine what Song X sounded like for the time being. Ornette’s The Shape of Jazz to Come was one of the first albums I actually bought, and it was more magical than any description could possibly illustrate. As pedestrian as this may seem to everyone now, it was another life changer for me. I can remember late nights sitting by myself, probably super high on good weed, listening to “Lonely Woman” and weeping.

John McLaughlin — Extrapolation

In my early days of discovering jazz, I also came across the music of John Mclaughlin, initially via Mahavishnu Orchestra. His whole profile as a guitarist was incredibly inspiring for me — someone who had an equal footing in jazz, Flamenco, Indian classical music and fusion — a model for what I could become as a player (although I don’t think our styles are really even that comparable.) One of his albums that I think is maybe overlooked in his career is Extrapolation which has an incredible lineup and the compositions are incredible.

John Coltrane — Interstellar Space

In considering this list I’m realizing there’s no way I can touch on all the music that has shaped me. But there is an album that’s shaped a great deal in terms of how I play and in what seems to be my favorite type of collaborative setting — the duo. Interstellar Space is an absolute masterpiece. Everything feels raw — the intensity, the interplay, the emotion. As much as I love so much of John Coltrane’s music, there’s something about this record that was akin to hearing punk music for the first time. There’s an immediacy to expression and interaction. And it was something that felt available to me (certainly not his virtuoso chops, which felt otherworldly — an unscalable monolith.) The direct communication between two people was a revelation and the content of this music felt like something I could mine for the rest of my life.

The Ivo Perelman Trio — “Cantilena”

Fast-forward another few years or more and I had travelled with some good friends to NYC for I think it was the JVC Jazz Fest. We wanted to see MMW play (of whom I still think Friday Afternoon In the Universe is a perfect album.) While we were there though, we saw so much beautiful music that blew me away. The most significant for me though, was catching the last 10 minutes of a set by the Ivo Perelman trio in Tribeca somewhere (the trio was with Jay Rosen on drums and Dominic Duval on bass, who I played with several years later. RIP). It was electrifying. I was moved enough to go and talk to him after and he gave me an unmarked demo tape of Seeds, Vision and Counterpoint. There’s a track on the album called “Cantilena” and it really drops into this heavy space for around 10 minutes that gives me the chills every time I hear it. There is this free lyricism that is still absolutely elating to me. I love his playing and he’s still probably my favorite living saxophonist.

Marilyn Crispell — Vignettes

Masabumi Kikuchi — Out of Bounds

Using lyricism as a segue it brings me to the music of Marilyn Crispell, especially her albums Amaryllis,Nothing Ever Was Anyway, Vignettes and many others. She has a mode of free ballad playing that is absolutely transcendental. I will also mention Masabumi Kikuchi in the same breath. I find the desire more and more to play with a similar intention even though I rarely find myself in the context to do so.

Jute Gyte — Birefringence

A total shift from this narrative of discovery and development is metal music. Something I’d been listening to since my teens and getting hip to some cool thrash music through Canadian band Voivod, particularly the album Dimension Hatröss. I've continued to follow the music and all of its various subgenres and have so many favorite picks, but I’ll choose just one and it’s a total mindbender. Jute Gyte’s Birefringence actually eclipses easy category and you really just need to experience it.

Giacinto Scelsi — “Uaxuctum”

Catherine Christer Hennix — “Blues Alif Lam Mim In The Modes Of Rag Infinity/Rag Cosmosis”

My last pick is another double pick (I know I’m cheating) because it relates to the power of music and ties it into the first selection. Another current, among many, of musical obsessions is “new music.” But when I heard Giacinto Scelsi’s music for the first time it surpassed all of my previous notions about what was possible with composed music — it felt like music from an ecstatic vision. Even as I listen to the track now, it immediately accesses some occult realm of sublimity that feels similar to the music I first heard in church but with an unbridled intensity and depth.

Another more recent selection that fits into this category — but that is different in that it embraces a sort of stasis rather than dynamic movement — is the music of Catherine Christer Hennix. If you don’t know her, she’s a deep well of musical/mathematical/spiritual inspiration for me. Another music without a real equivalent in this day and age — something that echoes ancestral currents as well as the vibration of the cosmos itself. Thanks for reading/listening. Peace be with you. xoxo