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nr1chaedickrider · 9 months ago

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In my imagination, you're waiting lying on your side - it seems like once again you've had to greet me with goodbye.

In many ways, our memories shape who we are. They make up our internal biographies—the stories we tell ourselves about what we've done with our lives. They tell us who we're connected to, who we've touched during our lives, and who has touched us. They provide important details of who we are and who we would like to be.

for @namojoon.

The process of healing wounds is long, painful and exhausting.

Sometimes it hurts even more than what has happened.

At least that's how you would describe your healing process.

You look through the window of your small but pleasant house.

After Momo died - or rather, was murdered - you decided to stop serving as a knight for your kingdom for the time being.

Of course, you promised Tzuyu that she could always come to you in an emergency, that you would forever be a knight serving her kingdom without hesitation.

Letting go was difficult, sometimes you even had the feeling that Momo was still standing in front of you, laughing, crying and doing everything with you.

Maybe you still haven't let go completely, maybe you never will, you just know (or at least hope) that things have gotten better.

You still wonder what happened to Sana.

Even if you partly don't want to know, a part of your body -

a tiny part of your body -

worries about her.

And you hate yourself for it.

You walk through the kingdom, making a, well, daily detour by her grave.

You kneel down in front of the grave, brush down a leaf.

Every time you are there, you make sure that it stays clean, that there is no damage.

Somehow you have the feeling that you have to do it, but you don't mind.

"I love you" you whisper, your hand slowly stroking the engraved words.

You've partly gotten into the habit of not reading what's written on it, maybe it's a sign of ignorance.

But you just feel better if you don't have to read the words every time.

You don't always have to be reminded.

'Hirai Momo, a fighter, a person full of love'

You hate reading it every time.

You sigh softly and get up.

One last look at her grave - even though you know you'll be back tomorrow, and the day after that, and the day after that, and so on.

You wipe away the tear that runs down your cheek.

The path to the village is quiet, the birds are chirping, the wind is almost non-existent.

You greet the people who walk past you and realize that they still treat you differently.

Their eyes are full of concern.

The only thing people think of when they see you is -

"Poor her. I wonder how she's doing"

And you don't know whether you should think it's good or bad that that's all they think about.

"Y/n!" someone shouts, you turn around and see Chaeyoung walking towards you.

"I've been looking for you for the last few days, can you come with me?" she asks.

You're confused, but nod. She takes you by the wrist and pulls you along as you both walk to her house.

She sits you down on a chair in her living room as she walks around.

You know she often has a lot of energy - but this much?

She comes back with a small bottle, the contents liquid and yellow in color.

She looks at you after placing the bottle on the table in front of you.

"Okay. You have to listen to me, let me finish, because it's going to sound weird at first," she says, and you nod.

"Have you ever heard of the theory of the multiverse?" she asks.

You shake your head - you've never been interested in all the theories, you've always preferred to think about what's happening in the present, what "makes sense" to you.

"Okay..." she starts to say, thinking before continuing,

"So, basically, the theory is the idea that the observable universe, the universe we're in right now, is only a part of the whole reality, and there's supposed to be a multiverse that contains numerous possible universes," she explains, and you look at her, slightly confused.

Chaeyoung takes a breath and tries to say it as simply as possible.

"It may be that you can travel through universes to see other situations and worlds, do you get the idea?" she asks.

"I think... but why are you telling me this? and why the bottle?" you reply.

"How can I say this..." she mumbles.

"Since... Since Momo is gone, I've been working on something, and I think... I think you can travel through the multiverse with this potion," Chaeyoung replies.

You look at her and feel your mood change completely when she mentions Momo.

"But... But why are you telling me exactly?" you ask.

"Because I need someone to try it out... and I think you deserve it the most. Because if it really works, you can see Momo in other universes.

In ones where she's not dead," she says.

In which ones where she's not dead?

You swallow as you look down at the floor, then back up at Chaeyoung.

"How likely is it that it will really work?"

"Pretty much," she replies.

"I'll do it," you say.

"Really? Are you sure? It could be dangerous"

"I have nothing to lose anyway"

Chaeyoung nods.

"No one can see you while you're traveling, which means you can go anywhere you want. But after a certain time, you may end up in another universe"

"Okay"

"Drink it, and when you feel dizzy, it will start to work" she says.

"I'll stay here and make sure everything goes well"

You nod and pick up the bottle.

"Okay" you say, but somehow you say it more to yourself.

You pull the cork out of the bottle and the pungent smell immediately hits your nose before you drink it.

You put the bottle back down and take a deep breath.

In and out.

In -

And out.

But before you can concentrate more on your breathing, you feel a stinging sensation in your head.

Chaeyoung is standing next to you, paying attention to how you're feeling.

"I think-"

You can't finish your sentence as your eyes suddenly close and it feels like you're being thrown around.

Your eyes open as you see lights everywhere, some colorful and some so dark you can't even call them lights anymore.

Your body floats and you try to look around, but your head won't move.

You try to reach somewhere, but you fall to the ground before you can do it.

The first thing you feel is grass under your fingertips.

You slowly open your eyes and look around, but the only thing you see are trees.

You stand up, pacing back and forth before you hear voices.

You walk through the bushes to see who's talking,

And even though you expected it, it's still so strange.

In front of you is Momo, holding a sword.

Opposite her - it's you.

It's like the first time you saw her.

"You shouldn't be here," says your other self.

"Says who?" asks Momo.

You run towards her and attack her, but Momo quickly moves out of the way.

This is a universe where you and Momo are enemies.

Just like at the beginning.

You continue to watch as the two of you fight each other.

Blades clashing, the tension high and thick.

"What are you doing here?" your other self asks through clenched teeth.

"What are you thinking? Hm?" Momo asks teasingly.

It looks like you've had enough, because you push her away -

and thrust the tip of the sword into her throat.

You are startled when you see it, Momo falls to the ground with a stupid grin on her face.

"That-...that was a mistake...," she says, choking on her own blood and your other self pulls out the sword.

The sight of Momo hurts your heart.

It reminds you too much of the night she died in your universe.

The fact that this is another universe though, calms you a little.

Your other self leaves Momo alone and walks away.

So you go to her, even though she can't see or feel you.

Her gasping for breath worries you as you kneel before her.

"Momo..." you whisper, even though you know she can't hear you.

You're actually just talking to yourself.

It's as if she's looking at you - and a part of you hopes so, so much that she'll somehow realize that you're there, that she'll somehow feel you.

You sigh softly, but not a disappointed sigh.

Momo stops breathing - stares into the distance without any emotion on her face.

The sight could make you cry.

But before you can look at her any longer, you feel something strange in your body.

The effects of the potion kick in again.

You stand up and look down at Momo one last time.

Your eyes close as the lights start to flicker again.

And again it feels like you're being thrown around.

You land on your knees on a floor, a stone floor to be precise.

Your eyes open and try to adjust to the light.

As you look around, you realize that you are in a church.

Upon closer inspection, you realize that it is the church in Tzuyu's kingdom.

You stand up and look around.

It is empty - except for two voices that break the silence.

You walk towards it - and see a confessional.

And then you see yourself, on your knees.

Your head is bowed as a priest comes to you.

"Why are you here, my child?" he asks in a calm voice.

"I have come to confess my sins, Father. I'm afraid I've done something bad." you reply, your voice has a hint of fear in it.

"What have you done?" he asks.

Your other self takes a breath and then starts talking.

"I was seduced by a woman. It's as if she stole my heart and took it as her own. I can't think of anything but her.

And I don't know what to do, father."

When you hear your words, you don't know how to react.

You wouldn't claim to be a religious person, but seeing you ask a priest for help somehow hurts your heart.

In this universe, you can't accept that you love Momo.

In this universe, you are afraid.

And this feeling is a little too familiar.

"My child, don't be afraid," the priest begins to say,

"It's good that you've come here to confess your sins to the Lord,

And he will forgive you for loving a woman. Pray for him every night,

and he will help you to stop,

and your heart will be yours again."

You bite your lower lip, not knowing how to react.

You'd like to tell your other self that you should do what you want.

That it's completely stupid to listen to the priest.

That you should keep loving Momo.

As long as you have the chance.

But your other self nods, thanks the priest for his help and leaves the church.

You run after her, wondering where she's going.

"Y/n!" Momo shouts, running to you with a smile.

In this universe, you two are not knights.

"What were you doing in church?" she asks.

You're just two friends.

You shake your head and say that it was nothing important.

Momo doesn't ask any more questions, but takes your hand and says that she has to show you something.

She pulls the other you away and you are now standing alone in the village.

You look around and see Tzuyu walking around smiling.

It somehow makes you happier to see that she's doing well.

But you notice something -

She's holding a man's hand?

You look confused, and then it occurs to you.

Not in every universe is she with Dahyun.

And you think that's why Dahyun looks so sad as she walks alongside Tzuyu.

It somehow looks weird - seeing Dahyun and Tzuyu not linked together and giggling like teenagers in love.

Your confusion disappears pretty fast as the man gets distracted and Tzuyu shoots a smile at Dahyun.

Her cheeks flushed when she smiles back, her hand on Tzuyu's for a second until she pulls back to not raise awarness on them.

Dahyun is not a queen in this universe, but just a normal girl.

A normal girl who is hopelessly in love with her friend.

And somehow it reminds you a little of your situation.

You sigh slightly.

You walk in the direction Momo pulled your other self towards, but you fall to the ground and can't walk any further.

The effects of the potion are already kicking in again.

"So fast...?" you ask yourself as your eyes close.

The same thing happens again -

Your body is thrown back and forth, the lights flicker and after a certain amount of time you land on the ground.

The first thing you hear Momo's voice.

Then yours.

And finally -

Sana's.

Sana's voice?

Hearing her talk, so happy, without a care in the world, makes you angry.

And how you wish she could see you, because if she could, you'd kill her with your bare hands.

Without hesitation.

You get up and walk towards the voices.

The closer you get, the more you can hear what they are talking about.

You hear laughter -

and moaning?

Moaning?

And when you stand in front of them, you are more shocked than you have probably ever been.

Momo's hand is in your pants, Sana's mouth is on your neck.

In this universe, all is well between the three of you.

No hate, no sadness, no one betraying the other.

You keep staring at them - it's like you can't take your eyes off them.

Somehow this is a dream.

Maybe even the universe you would prefer to live in?

"I love you," Sana says, leaving kisses all over your body.

"I love you," says Momo as she pushes her fingers in and out of you.

"I love you too," you moan.

Sana loves you?

Momo loves you?

You love them both?

It's as if all your negative thoughts about Sana are gone - you just want to jump into her arms.

The sight brings tears to your eyes, seeing how this is your dream universe.

And somehow you are glad that you can feel yourself getting dizzy and that the potion is starting to work again.

Your eyes close.

When they open again, the sun blinds you.

You get up and look around you.

A small river, a meadow with beautiful, colorful flowers.

There are no houses nearby and you wonder where exactly you are.

You walk around a bit and realize how this place resembles the tales of paradise.

"Where am I..." you mumble.

Several meters further on, however, you finally see people.

Two people, to be precise.

And as you get closer, you see it.

Mina and Sana?

"Mina," says Sana, as if she had been looking for her for ages.

"Sana," Mina replies, with a smile.

While Sana is dressed fairly normally, Mina is wearing a white dress.

The fabric looks quite thin, fine patterns are depicted on the dress.

She looks like an angel.

"I've missed you so much" says Sana, her expression so... soft?

"I missed you too Sana" Mina says and comes closer, her arms open and Sana almost runs towards her.

They hug, and you even think you hear a sob from Sana.

The two slowly let go, Sana looking at nothing but Mina.

"I'm so sorry. I wish you were still here..." Sana says, wiping a tear away from her cheek.

"Don't be sorry Sana," Mina starts to say.

You question whether you're even in a universe right now, or whether you've landed here on a spiritual level,

However, this is Sana's last farewell to Mina.

You are here in a place where the dead can communicate with the living.

"It's not your fault Sana,

or anyone else's," she says.

Sana nods a little, the tears still streaming down her cheeks.

"I love you," says Mina.

"I love you too. Forever and ever." Sana replies.

As you listen to them, it all starts to make sense.

Sana didn't love you, or Momo, or anyone else.

She loved Mina, and she died.

That's why Sana was so angry with Momo.

"I will never forget you, I will never stop honoring you, until my last breath I will think of you." Sana says and Mina takes Sana's hand in hers.

Mina has a reassuring smile on her lips.

"Thank you for being here," says Mina.

"I wish you could stay here longer, but your time in paradise is slowly coming to an end Sana" she says, her thumb stroking Sana's hand.

"I know," she sighs slightly, but then smiles at Mina again.

"So this is our final goodbye?" asks Sana, Mina nods.

"I'll always be with you" says Mina.

Sana nods.

"I love you." she says again, and before Mina can say it back, Sana slowly dissolves and disappears.

Mina looks down at the floor and repeats Sana's words to herself.

When she looks up again, she looks you in the eye.

You look left and right to see if anyone else is standing there, but no.

She's looking at you, no one else.

She walks over to you and stops right in front of you.

"You're Y/n, aren't you?" asks Mina.

"Y-yes. You can see me?" you reply, and she nods,

"Have you been listening to us?" she asks.

"Yes,

I didn't know you and Sana had such a relationship" you say, Mina smiles a little.

"She doesn't like to talk about it. But yes, I was her lover" is Mina's answer.

You nod a little, trying to understand everything that has just happened.

Trying to understand how you can talk to a dead person.

"Momo told me about you," she says, breaking the silence.

"She told you about me? You talked to Momo?" you ask.

"Yes. I was watching when... when the accident happened" she answers.

"She told me that if she could, she would do anything to see you again," says Mina, raising her hand.

"Your potion is slowly losing its effect" Mina puts her hand on your forehead and you wonder what exactly is going to happen now.

But before you can ask anything, your eyes close.

As they open, you are blinded by a bright white light.

You stand up slowly and look around, but see nothing.

Everything is white, the floor is straight without any bumps or curves, and nothing is in sight.

This place looks like it does in dreams, when you try to escape but can't.

The more you walk around you realize that it makes no sense, everywhere is white and you are completely alone here.

"Y/n" you hear a voice behind you calling after you.

You don't move, don't breathe, don't even dare to blink.

"Y/n" the voice repeats.

You slowly realize that this moment is not a dream.

It is real.

You slowly turn around and look her in the eye.

Momo is standing in front of you.

Her clothes match the white surroundings, and you hate it.

She's dressed like Mina, like an angel.

You stare at her, trying to breathe evenly.

"Momo?" you say, but it comes out more like a question.

"It's real," she replies.

It is real.

You slowly calm down, or rather try to.

In some way it feels like the first time you saw her -

You unsheathe your sword and slowly walk towards the noise. Peering through the bushes, you see a knight.

Or rather, a female knight.

Her rather long black hair is tied up in a ponytail. Her forehead is covered by a fringe. You only see her side profile, but it's like she was gifted by Aphrodite. While she breathes, her plump, pink-ish lips slightly part. Her sword is stuck in the grass next to her. She sits on a bigger stone, her armor less than yours. Her chest and stomach are protected, a helmet in her left hand, but you can see her well-trained arms. A few veins peek out on her hands, probably because of the heat.

But wait a minute. She is a knight. A stranger in your kingdom, which you are supposed to protect.

You got too distracted and she used that.

Flashbacks of the first meeting come into your head, your mind full of them.

You walk slowly towards her, as if she were dangerous, as if she were an enemy you should be afraid of.

"I never thought you could be so emotional," says Momo, turning her head in your direction, which is now partially submerged.

"Me neither," you admit.

"It's strange. Being here, in the water. With you." you say and look at her too.

"We're enemies," she replies and laughs a little.

Unfortunately.

You think, but it scares you to say it.

You're standing right in front of her.

She's standing in front of you.

No imagination, not those stupid dreams you've always had since she left.

She's really standing in front of you.

"I feel like we've just met for the first time," you say, Momo laughs a little.

"I feel the same way," she replies.

You feel the tears coming.

Before you regret it, you move closer.

You kiss Momo on her lips, your hands on her hips, the grip so strong that someone could think you're afraid she'll suddenly just disappear.

And that's exactly your fear right now.

She kisses you back.

You kiss Momo.

Memories of your first kiss come flooding back.

You close the distance between the two of you, her soft lips on yours as she dares not move.

This time it's different.

It's not a stupid dream you're having because you're confused about your feelings for Momo.

It's all more real.

And you want it, so, so much.

You slowly pull back, Momo smiles at you.

"I- I missed you so much," you say as tears run down your cheek.

"I missed you too, believe me," she replies, wiping away your tears.

"I think about you every day, and... and I always visit your grave and and-" you start sobbing, completely overwhelmed by the situation.

Momo interrupts you.

"Shh... I know, trust me"

"I was there when you visited my grave, when you were talking.

I'm sorry I couldn't answer your questions," she says.

"Why not in this one?" you ask.

"Why couldn't you just find me in this universe?" you ask.

"I wish so much that I could have found you in this universe. So much." she says.

"You're so strong for handling it so well"

"But that's the thing. I don't handle it well,

Every time I just want to sleep, I dream about you." you reply, feeling the tears growing.

"Either I dream about you smiling at me. With that stupid grin that I miss so much..." you take a deep breath,

"Or I dream of your face covered in blood"

Momo looks at you,

and suddenly her face is covered in blood.

Sana's sword is suddenly stuck in her head before she pulls it out.

She topples over, onto the dirty ground, onto the grass.

She doesn't move, just lies there.

Not a single breath, no stupid grin, nothing.

"I dream so often about that one night..." you say quietly, your voice cracking while you try to hold back your tears.

"I know," Momo replies.

"I'm so sorry you had to watch it happen like that."

"I love you," you say.

"I love you too, so much," she replies.

You look at her, slightly startled, confused, surprised.

It's the first time Momo has ever said that she loves you.

The first and the last time.

"You have to go slowly," says Momo.

"The effect is wearing off"

You nod slowly.

"So this is our final goodbye?" you ask, Momo nods.

"I'll be with you forever" Momo says and hugs you tightly.

This time she is the one who is afraid that the other will dissolve.

"I will think of you and love you forever," you say.

You feel yourself getting dizzy again.

Momo sobs quietly, her nails dig into your body.

"It's okay," you say, even though you're still crying, but you try to calm her down.

"It's okay," you repeat.

It all feels so light as your eyes close.

You can't feel any arms on your body.

Momo no longer feels the body she was hugging.

Your eyes open rapidly and you look around.

Chaeyoung stands up from her chair and looks at you.

You look at her and wipe a tear away from your cheek.

"You made it," she says.

You nod.

"The potion worked..." she says and picks up something to write down, probably something about this experiment.

You get up slowly and walk to the front door,

"Before you go," Chaeyoung says -

"The idea for the multiverse, and for this potion,

actually came from Momo"

You look at her and smile,

You close the door behind you and leave her house.

In this Universe, you live without Momo, and you're starting to accept it.

Because deep in your heart, you know that she is always with you.

So when you hold out your hand while walking home,

you know that she is holding it.

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the-ravenist · 2 years ago

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My pretty boy

James Diamond x Black!BG!Reader

Reade is bigender, reader is called both girlfriend & boyfriend, uses she/he pronouns, established relationship, sad/pouty james, , based off of the show, james is a simp for reader, just some cutesy fluffy comfort type shit, if the ending looks rushed my bad

"Is he okay?"

"I'm not entirely sure."

The three friends stared at their usually sparkly, peppy friend, which is now gloomy and pouty. Now they don't know what to do in a situation like this, well maybe they do. Kendall, Carlos, and Logan take a seat next to James's pool chair, Logan on one by his right, and Kendall and Carlos sharing one by his left. So to get an idea of what exactly they're dealing with, they decided to as some questions. And sadly in which, James all said no. Kendall started first.

"Did you run out of hair spray?"

"No."

Then Carlos.

"Are you going bald?"

"No."

Then Logan.

"Did you lose your lucky comb?"

James showed his named Lucky comb and responded with another, "no."

"Then what's wrong," they chorused.

...

"I wasn't called pretty today!"

"..huh?"

A red flush rose to Jame's cheeks at his claim, yeah something as simple as that had put him in such a depressing mood. To his friends, they thought that James was overreacting, just a tad.

"(Y/N) calls me pretty every day," he whines a bit. "And he hasn't yet."

Loga was the first was to come out of his confusion.

"Okay wait," his friends turn to look at him. "So because your girlfriend didn't compliment you today."

"You decide to be all sad and pouty," Kendall continues.

"Yes," James sighs. "Is it so bad that I want my boyfriend to call me pretty?"

Before they could say anything, James interrupted them.

"And before you can say anything, it has been two," he holds up two fingers to express his point. "Two whole days that she hasn't called me pretty."

"So now I'm sad," he leans back in his chair with a pout.

Logan, Kendall, and Carlos share a slightly concerned glance. Carlos was the first to suggest his solution.

"Do you want us to call you pretty?"

"No!"

"Okay quick team meeting," Kendall whispers to the only ones, not in a pouty mood.

The boys leave the pool, and into the lobby, Kendall standing in front of the shorter boys.

"Okay so what are gonna do about," he point to the bandmate curled up on the pool chair. "The sad James Diamond?"

"Yeah, his unnatural sad mood, is kind of concerning," Logan comments.

"But if he doesn't was us", Carlos moves a finger between the three of them. "To call him pretty then what do we do?"

"How about we do the smartest thing we can think of," Kendall says.

"Well I guess that we can grab (Y/N) from Roque Records, bring him here and that'll bring James out of his sad mindset," Logan and out.

"Do you really Gustavo is going to let her go like that," questions Carlos.

"No," replies Kendall. "And if he doesn't we'll just sneak him out."

"Right," Logan comments.

"Sounds easy enough," adds Carlos.

As they stand in front of the producer they always wonder where their confidence goes, it's like the man has a confidence remover superpower. Mustering up his confidence Kendall, unsurprisingly, was the first to say something.

"So, Gustavo we know that (Y/N)'s been working hard in the studio for the last two or so days," hesitance is clear in his tone.

"And we were wondering if we could kinda, sorta," Logan continues. "Take her away for a little bit."

"Sure," the producer says after a beat of silence.

Yet that goes unheard for a bit, as the boys start yelling excuses.

"Wait did you say yes," now realization had hit them.

"Yes, yes I did," Gustavo agreed.

"Listen, guys," Kelly's voice gains their attention. "(Y/N) has been working since last night, and he needs some rest."

"Let me shorten Kelly's long-winded excuse," he interrupts. "(Y/N) hasn't left this building, so go and take her to her apartment and let her rest."

The boys haven't moved from their spot.

"What are you waiting for?"

"We have no idea of where he is," Logan speaks up.

"Oh, he's in Studio B," states.

Kelly and Gustavo watch as the boys scramble out of the office, shaking their heads with small smiles.

(Y/N) watches as Carlos, Logan, and Kendall tumble into the small studio from the sound booth.

Pressing a button, she leans into the mic speaking into it.

"Hello boys," said boys look towards the booth that holds the very person that they were looking for. "I'm guessing that you looking for me."

"In fact, we are," Kendall smirks.

"Yeah, we kinda need you to come to the Palm Woods," Logan rushes out.

"Yeah, James is sad," Carlos adds.

"Wait, why is he sad," (Y/N) says as he rushes out of the booth.

"He needs you to complement him," Logan explains.

"More so, he needs to you to call him pretty," Kendall adds.

"Well, what are we waiting for," she starts. "Let's go."

The group ran to the Palm Woods, in search of their usually flamboyant friend. And there he was still sitting in the same pool chair, hair wet and a towel around his neck. He'd probably gone for a swim to clear his head, it didn't do much. They don't know if his eyes are watering from the chlorine or just plain sadness.

Either way, the sight still made (Y/N)'s heart break a whole lot.

"I know this might sound rude," she started. "But damn does he look pitiful."

"Tell me about it," the boys say.

"Alright, so he wants me to compliment him," (Y/N) asks, speaking clarification.

"Yes, because apparently, you didn't complete your daily dose of," Logan's voice turns sarcastic. "Ego fuelling "

"Don't be rude to baby like that," (Y/N) punched Logans' arm.

"Anyway," interrupted Kendall. "You need to go fix James, make him all..."

"Sparkly," Carlos whispers dramatically.

"Exactly," the other hockey players agree.

"Alrighty boys," the designated boyfriend cracks his knuckles. "Let me do my thang," (Y/N) started walking towards his pouty boyfriend.

As the boys watch their friend heads toward her boyfriend.

"Should we leave them be," Carlos asks as he watches (Y/N) sit next to James.

"Yeah, this seems kinda personal," Logan agrees as he leads his friends away from the pool.

Moving the attention to (Y/N) and James.

"Hey James," the gentle call of his life breaks James out of his mood. (Y/N) pretty much saw his boyfriend's eyes sparkle when he saw him.

"(Y/N)," he cheers. But his mood quickly sours. "Where were you?"

A long sigh passed (Y/N)'s lips. She didn't mean to work for as long as she did, promise. But when an idea strikes, you have to do something about it or you lose it. And it took two days of work to make sure that every detail is written down.

"Well, you know me when it comes to work bubs," James preens a bit at the nickname. "When I start working, I just can't stop," a chuckle passes (Y/N)'s melanin lips.

But a slight frown bleeds onto his lips again, and he softly grabs James' face. He leans into his hands as a little smile dances onto his lips.

"But seriously," she whispers as she makes their forehead touch, eyes connected. "I'm so sorry, sparkles," the boy huffs at the name. "Can my pretty boy forgive me," she rubs their noses together, his slightly wet, and eyes closed.

A smile breaks on her face at the bashful giggles from her boyfriend.

"I don't know," James backs up a little bit. "Does my boyfriend deserve an apology," sarcasm laced his voice.

"Oh, so that means that I can return the flowers I bought?"

"Wait, flowers," he watches as she pulls out a bouquet of camellias and roses, his favorites, from behind her back.

"Yeah," James gently takes the flowers from your hand with a flustered face. "I saw them on my way here, and I knew they were your favorite," (Y/N) could feel the heat rise in his cheeks. "So of course I just had to get them."

A beat of silence passes between them.

"Well, with your apologies," James' voice comes out as a whisper. "And these amazing flowers," he practically shoves his nose into the bouquet. "How can I say no?"

"You can never say no," she teases. She quickly places herself in front of James, in his chair. Her hands grab his face again, the force making him drop the flowers in his lap.

" 'cause my handsome man," he squeezes James's cheeks. "Says no way too much."

"So what am I supposed to say?" James's speech is a bit muffled due to his face being slightly pressed.

"Nothing," she sighs. "Just sit pretty and receive my compliments."

A smug smile crawls on his lips, "I can do that," he murmurs.

"Well, I do have two whole days to catch up on," she eye rolled affectionately.

And thus the smothering begins

"my boy is handsome," a kiss on his forehead.

"beautiful," eyebrow kiss.

"gorgeous," eyelid kiss.

"sparkly," kisses on his cheekbones with muted giggles.

"strong," chin kiss.

"confident," nose kiss. "A bit too much," James lets out an appalled squawk.

"and last of all," the words are a bit murmured by their lips brushing against another.

"my," small peck, "pretty," longer peck, "boy." Then a long passionate kiss to seal the deal, a kiss filled with nothing but love and adoration for one another.

"Do you feel better, my prince?"

"Yeah," he gazes at his boyfriend; eyes full of love. "I am, and I'll always be."

fin

This is honestly a filler until I can post my other fics, and there will be more fillers coming don't worry

#james diamond x reader #btr x reader #big time rush #james btr x reader #black reader #x black!reader #x black reader #black!reader #james maslow x reader #bigender reader #x reader #she/he reader

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vladimirsangel · 4 months ago

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For @blackforrestpunk, set in a little alternate universe of their webcomic. If you haven't read the webcomic, you should read the webcomic.

“Look, Sasha,” says Erik, resting his hand on the dog’s head. “It’s snowing.”

Sasha doesn’t understand the words, but she can hear the quiet sort of wonder in his tone, and she can sense his emotional state in the way all the best dogs always can. She raises her head, thumps her tail, and nudges the big pale hand with her nose encouragingly.

“Let’s go for a walk.”

Ah, now. Walk is a word she knows. She sneezes, delighted, and hustles to follow Erik around as he pulls on his combat boots, lacing them only as much as is necessary for them not to actually fall off his feet. In deference to the weather his jeans have only a few rips at the knee.

“Erik!” comes the immediate call from the kitchen. Erik isn’t sure if Nadir is psychic or whether he just reacts to the trigger word “walk” in a similar way to Sasha. “You’d better be wearing your hat. It’s minus four out there….are you listening to me?”

To avoid a conversation, Erik pulls on a wool beanie hat, tugging it down so that it covers the join between the mask and his hairline, and mutters: “Yes….”

A soft dark green scarf is flung unceremoniously through the kitchen door and lands on Sasha’s golden back. She twists, snuffs at it curiously. “And that!” bellows Nadir, with the benefit of long experience.

Erik doesn’t say anything. He pats his thigh briefly to get Sasha’s attention, clips on her leash, and pulls open the door into the dark winter afternoon. Sasha, scarf dragging, follows cheerfully.

The cold is intense in the city at this time of year. People hurrying past for shopping are bundled up like fat little puppies in multiple layers of coats, scarves and hats. It makes Erik, at his long and spindly height, look even more like a looming matchstick man than usual. The mask at least protects from the brisk wind, and people aren’t looking too closely.

A bus screeches brakes in the slush and Sasha huffs, jumping.

“You’re right,” Erik says, putting a hand out to calm her. He finally picks Nadir’s scarf up off the dog’s back and absently loops it over his shoulders. Nobody is out listening to street music today. Not even the punks will be hanging out in their usual places in weather like this. They need somewhere more sheltered. Somewhere quieter, less bustling.

So they go to the Hauptfriedhof.

Erik likes it here. It’s quiet, and there’s lots of interesting things to look at, old static things, things that won’t change or shift or be alarmingly different suddenly. Human beings are a lot easier to deal with when they’re dead and not changing who they are the whole time. And well-behaved dogs are allowed. On her leash, Sasha is Erik’s constant shadow and tends not to wander far even when he occasionally lets the leash drop. He needs her, after all, and she knows that.

The cemetery is empty. It is growing towards dusk, and the snow remains light, but shows no sign of stopping. Erik and his dog walk together to visit one of his favourite graves, the one with the big stone tomb chest with the recumbent tomb effigy lying atop it. He likes this one because at the feet of the effigy is lying a faithful dog, staying with their master through eternity. The dog has curled ears, reminding him of Sasha.

Erik reaches out a hand and touches the head of the stone hound, brushing away the light coating of snow. He can see from the pattern of lichen and wear on the statue that he’s not the only one to pat the faithful creature. Humans love their animals.

Maybe this is the one thing that, despite everything, keeps him close to his own humanity.

Sasha is snuffling about in the snow that has blown into a drift at the side of the tomb, and Erik glances down to make sure she’s not eating something that’ll make her ill.

And that’s when he sees it.

A footprint.

Inside the hollow eyesockets of the mask, his eyes narrow in confusion as he frowns.

Plenty of people visit the graveyard, but he’d be willing to bet that very few of them do it barefoot in December.

These are the footprints of an adult, judging by the size. He takes a few steps, casting his yellow gaze about him, and – yes – there is another. And another. Someone has walked through fairly recently, barefoot in the snow, heading down the trail between the trees and towards the more distant larger mausoleums.

Of course there are homeless in this city. Every large city has them. Erik counts himself lucky to not be strictly homeless at this present time. He wonders if he needs to worry; not all street people are friendly or safe to be near.

A twig cracks, not very far away. The sky above is almost black with heavy clouds and the oncoming night. Sasha looks up at Erik, her soft eyes alert and interested – and then she trots off towards the sound, leash dragging in her wake.

“Sasha,” Erik calls, but not very loudly, and strides off after her. The dog is not going very fast, her pawprints criss-crossing the bare footprints. She has her head low, as if following a scent, but not like an animal who is hunting. She ambles. Casts back and forth.

And finally she sticks her nose into the shadowy gap between a large stone monument topped with an angel and the circling wall, and there’s an abrupt sound like an overboiling kettle. A loud, bubbling sort of hiss.

A cat?

Not like any cat noise he’s ever heard. Erik stops, and watches as Sasha draws back for a moment, then pokes her nose in again. She’s wagging. Whatever she’s found back there isn’t something that’s worrying her. This time the sound elicited in response is possibly more alarming than the inhuman hiss, because it’s definitely a voice. Using words.

“N-no!...please don’t…”

The voice is high with anxiety, but sounds masculine in tone. Not a local accent, either, and speaking in English.

“Sasha,” says Erik, thinking that he’s probably going to get a lecture if Nadir ever finds out his dog has started bothering random people in public, “here.”

Awkward. This is going to be so awkward. Maybe he should just leave. But the voice had sounded so frightened.

Erik knows a lot about being frightened.

He cranes his neck slightly, trying to see behind the stone.

“Sorry,” he mutters. “She’s friendly.”

He can’t hear any breathing. Erik’s hearing is acute; normally he can hear far too much of the sounds that people make by just living. The sounds that are often almost too much, and he needs to go to his room and put his headphones on to return to a state of calm. But here in the cemetery there’s nothing, only the wind in the trees and Sasha panting quietly, her breath fogging in the cold air. She’s still wagging.

For a moment he wonders if he’s imagining things. It would be nice in a way if he was imagining things. So much less stressful than having to apologise to a stranger in a graveyard because his dog was harassing them.

Then Sasha huffs, just once, not even loudly, and there’s a blur of movement, a shriek, and something – someone – darts out from behind the angel statue. And slams straight into the nearest wall.

Shit.

Erik grabs for the end of the leash and brings Sasha back close to his legs. He stares, eyes huge, at the spectacle before him.

Lying in the snow face down in a tangle of skinny limbs is a -

Erik’s going to go with “person.” There’s a lot of long, lank black hair, legs and arms so thin they’re like sticks. Bare feet and short sleeves, exposing smooth skin the colour of blue-grey slate.

As he watches, the fallen person starts to rise with a whimper, and the hair slips back from the face and ears and the….

….nose.

Or rather, the lack of nose. Erik’s breath catches in his throat.

He looks like...

Like, but not like. The grey ears are long, and fiercely pointed. They react like an animal’s, drooping low and flat in what Erik can only interpret as extreme discomfort. The nose is (to Erik at least) a sickeningly familiar cavity above a mouth that’s more like a maw, with four pronounced shark-like teeth protruding over the almost negligible lower lip. Beneath dark eyebrows angled sharply in distress, sunken eyes as silver as Erik’s are golden stare up at him. The hands clutching at the snowy ground are large and bony, with fingernails tough and dark and more like an animal’s claws.

They’re in a graveyard, and there’s a grey person with fangs and shining predator eyes lying shaking on the ground in front of him. And Erik still can’t hear any breathing at all, where a human in this state would be hyperventilating.

Yeah. This is not a human person.

This is a vampire.

This is a vampire having a panic attack.

Erik can’t be blamed for not knowing exactly what is best to do in this situation. Even regular humans would find this challenging. But Sasha is not human, and she knows very well how to handle panic attacks. She’s a good dog. So she tugs at the leash until Erik, still rigid with shock, lets it slip from his numb fingers. Then she walks directly up to the cringing, whimpering vampire and plops down on her haunches, shoves her muzzle firmly onto that thin and trembling shoulder, and just...is there. Is warm and alive with soft fur and a calm heartbeat.

And Erik finds he can move again, think again.

He trusts Sasha. If she’s not afraid of the vampire, then neither will he be, at least for now.

He takes in the details in quick glances, not meeting the eyes, and stares at the grey earlobes particularly because they have obviously been pierced and stretched with tunnels. The black trousers are distressed and ragged. The black t-shirt has an extremely faded white print on it which could have once been a skull or something similar. Except for his inhuman aspects, the vampire could fit in with any of the local young goths, and Erik finds this prosaic detail reassuring. It could even almost be the start of a joke: a punk and a goth walk into a graveyard...

Sasha’s tail brushes the snow encouragingly. A trembling clawed hand reaches up and shakily starts to pet her ears. Erik crouches down, aware that often shorter people tell him that he looms. He realises he’s still staring, and tries not to. Somewhere at the back of his mind there’s an itch growing, the same kind of itch he gets when new music is trying to be born.

The vampire looks at him in resigned, miserable horror, as if he’s just waiting to be attacked or screamed at. Erik knows this look – he’s seen it in mirrors the few times he’s been unable to avoid them - and for a while they just sit in silence together with the snow falling softly over them both.

Then Erik, the tension of the moment finally pushing him into action, abruptly pulls Nadir’s scarf from his own neck and thrusts it forward without preamble.

“You’re cold,” he says, taking refuge in fact, and can feel the silver eyes on him, full of distrust.

It seems like almost an eternity before - with gentle, anxious hesitation - the scarf is drawn slowly out of his grasp.

It’s almost ten at night. The front door slams. Nadir relaxes, as he always does when he knows Erik has once more returned safely. He glances out into the hall and sees the familiar long hands hanging up the damp beanie hat on a peg.

“And where have you been?” he asks, hearing the thud of a boot being removed. “It’s been hours. You will freeze to death and I will have to explain to the police why there is an Erik-shaped icicle blocking the pavement.”

He doesn’t expect an answer, and he doesn’t get one. Sasha’s furry head pokes around the door, tongue lolling happily, tail up and waving. Nadir addresses her, as he often does: sometimes he tells Erik that talking to Sasha is the only chance he gets for decent conversation.

“Well, at least you’re happy,” he says, and Sasha yawns at him luxuriously before trotting in and flopping down on the rug. He pets her and recoils. “And wet. And cold. Erik, your dog is dripping on the carpet - “

“I made a friend.”

Erik’s voice is soft. He hangs back in the doorway, a shadow in a baggy hoodie, a little melting snow still on his shoulders.

Nadir blinks. This is unexpected. He wants to be pleased. He has known Erik long enough to not be immediately enthusiastic. But the yellow eyes behind the mask seem calm, and even a little brighter than usual.

“Great,” is all he says. He does not pry. Prying could make Erik skittish. Instead, he cranes his neck. “And where’s my scarf?”

“Where it’s needed.”

This is becoming infuriating. Nadir sucks in a deep breath, and Erik immediately heads off back to his room before any further interrogation is possible.

Nadir doesn’t hear anything more about Erik’s new friend for three months. But in the very first few days of March, when the rain is heavy and Erik has been out all afternoon again, he hears the outer door slam at around 6pm and sees Sasha’s happy dog smile appear in the doorway of the lounge. Their home is full of the scent of the dinner Nadir has been preparing.

There’s a pause, somehow full of anticipation.

“You can come inside,” Erik’s voice says, quietly. “It’s all right.”

And this time there are two sets of footsteps in the hall.

#erik punk au #phantom of the opera #erik the phantom #poto #youve got the watches weve got the time #my ocs #vampire oc #nosferatu oc #aurik #fanfiction #my writing

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crediblebombthreat · 5 months ago

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MAJOR SPOILERS. AND LONG-WINDED ANALYSIS WHICH IS WORSE

hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha They still delivered, but I did say "oh my" out loud even though no one else was in the room. Kind of confusing, since there's not a whole lot of asset reuse in the rest of the DLC. The passive/atmospheric storytelling of Fromsoft games is at its best when it's an isolated narrative vignette. You get an area with a certain tone, the vibes ramp up, you notice some thing in the environment, you read some item descriptions, and then you fight a boss that combines all of these ideas into one thing -- then, over time, this cycle repeats, and the narrative sinew develops to bring things together.

There's a lot of really well-executed stuff like that in the DLC (Midra, Romina, Rellana etc.). So applying the parking brake at 60 and going back to a story that was already finished is...strange. Not really any buildup, either.

Game design is a very slapdash discipline (Fromsoft doesn't shy away from this fact. Ever), and all this makes me wonder about what was going on behind the scenes in development. Because everything else is polished to an iridescent shine. Hell, even the fight I'm talking about is polished (even if it's bullshit).

But it also doesn't seem very Fromsoft. Final bosses -- even in the DLCs -- have a lot of buildup; and not just from the plot. These characters are supposed to embody themes, perspectives, and aesthetics. Even DS3's Soul of Cinder, a force unmentioned anywhere else prior to its appearance, does embody the themes, perspectives, and aesthetics of DS3. And, to SotE's credit, Miquella absolutely does embody all of these things, and his Piloting of Radahn at the end does add to the shocking ("shocking") reveal of his true nature. He's a charming, terrifying, living God. He is divinity without the weariness that saturates all other faces of divinity we've yet seen.

But Radahn really...doesn't thematically embody any of the ideas in the DLC. He's a character that's emulsified into this idea of the terrifyingly beautiful futility of war -- the closest thing I can see is that he's supposed to be a foil of Messmer, but that's reaching, not gonna lie. His thematic center of gravity is about the thrill of battle and the irony of a warrior's death, perfectly circled around to Alexander (who nicely rounds it out in a "first as tragedy, then as farce" sort of way). Bringing him back is going to be confusing even for normies who haven't spent several hours poring over item descriptions and architectural details.

Maybe there's a plot thread where he was fighting against Malenia because he could detect Miquella's influence, and that his surrender to Miquella is this second, deeper tragic downfall. Don't see a whole lot of evidence for it, but I also ain't been looking so who knows.

Definitely open to chatting about this with anyone who's open to now that I'm caught up on the lore. I think there are a lot of fantastic ideas in SotE -- I got my money, time, and excitement's worth -- but it does break its big toe on the landing.

TODAY'S THE DAY

I'd like to put on the record that I don't believe the leaks, and that I'm willing to stake my reputation on it. From is about to deliver once again.

#elden ring spoilers #sote spoilers #fromsoft #soulsborne #shadow of the erdtree spoilers #shadow of the erdtree #elden ring

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fics-n-stuff · 3 years ago

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Home

Pairing: Kaz Brekker × Reader

Summary: Y/N and Kaz were once childhood friends, later reunited in the Barrel. After a business dealing went awry, Y/N has been in hiding for almost a year and the time apart has brought up a lot of feelings for Kaz.

Word Count: 4.2k

Warnings: touch aversion, alcohol consumption

A/N: I haven't actually read SoC yet but I have done my research so I really hope I wrote Kaz accurately enough 🤞🏽 Let me know!! I left the reader gender neutral so all parties can enjoy 😁

Update: Pt 2 here!

You stared out of the window, watching the nightlife of the Barrel in full swing below you. It had been almost a year since you had been able to be a part of it all and, even though you had lived in Ketterdam all your life, you felt like an outsider now.

There was a knock on the door and you froze, head tilting to listen out for any threat. After a moment there was another knock, loud and heavy – certainly not the result of somebody’s knuckle hitting the wood. With a sigh, you stood up from the window ledge and crossed the room to the door.

Kaz was waiting on the other side, looking unamused as ever, and you waved him inside quickly and hurriedly shut the door behind him.

“I am one of three people that knock on your door, Y/N.” He said flatly, removing his hat and placing it atop your desk.

“I can’t be too careful, never know when someone might come sniffing around here.” You replied with a shrug. Kaz hummed shortly in acknowledgment before producing a small stack of envelopes from his coat. You snatched them from him eagerly, but careful to ensure that your fingers made no contact with his gloved ones.

“I’m getting tired of being your courier.”

“Well, I’m getting tired of being in hiding.” You huffed, leafing through your letters. “But I’d rather not walk around in a city where I’m actively being hunted.”

“You shouldn’t have gotten caught then.” Your head snapped towards Kaz at that, and you raised your eyebrows challengingly.

“I should slap you for that.”

“You wouldn’t dare.” Kaz’s face remained largely unchanged but you could see the shine of amusement in his eyes.

You had first met Kaz as a child, while visiting family in the village where his family lived. He was a sweet child, and you had struck up a fast friendship in the few months you spent there. You had even written letters back and forth for a couple of years until one time you never got a reply.

When you met again years later, entirely by chance, Kaz was a changed person. Your family’s fortune had taken a steep downturn and you found yourself alone, living in a tiny room in a boarding house in the Barrel, when Kaz came across you pickpocketing outside the Crow Club. He had recognised you, but you hadn’t recognised him at first. Everything about him was so departed from the sweet boy that you had known as a child.

He refused to tell you what had happened to change him in this way. He never gave you a cause for the ruthless person he had become to climb the ranks of the Dregs and earn the name Dirtyhands, never even told you what had brought him to Ketterdam at all other than that his father had died. He never pushed you away though. Kept you at arms length, yes, but he never tried to dissuade you from sticking around.

The longer you knew him the more you realised that he wasn’t as cold as his demeanour portrayed. He was fiercely loyal, you could see it in the way that he was with his Crows, and you were certain that he would do anything to protect those he cared about most. You admired that about him.

“You don’t have to come, you know. You could send Inej with my letters, she already delivers me food.” You said, turning away at the realisation that you had been looking at each other in silence for a few seconds too long. You went to sit down, picking up the envelope from the top of the pile and pulling up the wax seal. Kaz didn’t respond for a long while. You tried to read your letter but found yourself distracted with anticipation of what he would say, if he said anything at all.

“I commend your commitment to your business.” He said finally, and you smiled at the compliment. “Eleven months trapped in this apartment and you’re still keeping up with it all.”

“Being in hiding is no excuse to get lazy. If anything, it gives me more of a reason to keep on top of things. Work keeps me sane and keeps coin in my pocket.”

“And how long do you intend to keep conducting your business through letters and underlings?”

“For as long as I have to, Kaz. You know that.” You answered with a quiet sigh, setting down the letter that you definitely hadn’t been reading and turning your head to face him again. You saw his jaw tense and the grip on his cane tighten, but you didn’t know what it meant. You were worried that somehow you had done or said something to upset him.

You had learned, in the few years since your reunion, that sometimes even the most seemingly innocuous things could put Kaz in a black mood. You had caught on quickly to the way that he avoided touch at all costs, and adapted your behaviour accordingly. He had still never told you why being touched triggered such a strong reaction in him, but he knew that you would always respect that fact.

It didn’t matter to you what traumas Kaz had suffered to create these traits in him, only that you knew how to navigate being in his space without violating his boundaries, because deep down you knew that Kaz was the most important person in your life. He took you in and offered you support when you needed it, given you structure and taught you skills to survive without even necessitating that you use those skills to serve his gang, all because of the friendship that you had shared as children. It didn’t matter how heartless people said the Bastard of the Barrel was, you knew that Kaz cared; perhaps not in the same way that you had come to care for him, but he did care.

“Maybe you should go, I’m sure you have work of your own to do.” You mumbled, your eyes drifting downwards anxiously. “And anyway, I have letters to read.”

“I could protect you.” He blurted. His voice was a little louder than usual, his tone less flat, and your brow furrowed in confusion and curiosity. “We could. The Crows, and the Dregs.”

“I don’t need your protection.”

“But you’d have it.”

You turned fully in your chair, straddling it with one leg either side of the backrest, and leant your forearms on the top of it. There was something in Kaz’s eyes that you’d never seen before and, although you prided yourself on being able to tell how Kaz was feeling and what he might be thinking about, you couldn’t figure out what it was.

“Do you know something that I don’t?” You questioned.

“Of course not.”

“Do you suddenly not trust my ability to keep myself safe?”

“Nothing like that, Y/N.”

“Then what?” You rested your chin on your arms, looking up at him expectantly. He held your gaze, but you could see the cogs turning in his brain as he calculated his next sentence. You were preparing for an argument to start, so you certainly didn’t expect the words that came from him next.

“I’m concerned about how long you’ve been alone here.” He answered. You blinked.

“Concerned?” Your voice cracked a little with your surprise, and Kaz clenched his jaw as he averted his eyes from you.

“I just thought that maybe all this time on your own might have had some affect on you. And I... hold a certain sense of responsibility.” His voice never wavered or faltered, other than the one pause there was no suggestion in his speech that the words held any significance to him, but you could see the tension in his shoulders and the tight grip that he maintained on his cane.

You narrowed your eyes, taking a moment to examine his face and his demeanour. Everything about him was wound tight, like he was making a particularly tricky deal rather than talking to a friend – you hoped that he considered you a friend – and though he was looking in your general direction you noted his avoidance of eye contact.

“If I didn’t know better I’d think you were saying that you miss me, Mr Brekker.” You said, your mouth turning in a small smirk. You saw Kaz’s chest tighten as he silently took in a sharp breath, and you chuckled lightly. “I’m fine, Kaz. Inej visits often enough, and I’m happy to see you when you deliver my letters. I will say though, I miss drinking with your Crows.”

Truthfully, you did feel rather trapped in your tiny apartment. For almost a whole year your entire world had consisted of only three rooms, and even if you didn’t admit it you were going slightly mad. Not being able to leave was frustrating, and living your whole life in one room (because really, who spends that much of their day in the bathroom or kitchen?) made you feel like a caged animal.

He didn’t reply. He also didn’t move. You watched him, standing straight and stiff as ever in the middle of the room, for a few moments. Usually he would have said something or made a move to leave, so you knew that he was deep in thought about something. You slouched further down against the backrest of your chair.

“If you’re planning on sticking around then you should at least sit down.” You sighed. “I have some kvas, or whisky if you’d prefer.” Kaz shook his head no to the drink but made a move towards the window seat. You watched him cross the room and sit down, his grip remaining on his cane as he placed it between his knees. “What’s on your mind, Kaz?”

“It’s not important.”

“That can’t be true.”

“And why is that?” He questioned dully.

“Because you’re still here, with me, staring into space like you’re waiting for the wind to tell you a secret.” He looked at you then, and you could see a conflict swirling behind his eyes. You resisted the urge to furrow your brow in worry. He still didn’t say anything, and that didn’t do anything to ease your concern because Kaz Brekker was not often one to be at a loss for words. “Is something wrong?”

“Yes.” He murmured, his head nodding slightly.

“Do you want to tell me about it?” You asked softly. He looked into your eyes for a few seconds before turning his head away, clearly deciding not to answer. You were almost expecting him to get up and leave the apartment right then, remove himself from the uncomfortable situation like he had been known to do before, but he made no move to stand.

You stood instead, abruptly moving through to the tiny kitchen and pouring a glass of whisky for yourself. You took a long sip as you came back out into the living space, picking up a wooden staff on your way. You kept up your combat training while in hiding, though it wasn’t often that you got an opponent.

“Humour me, will you?” You smiled, spinning the staff in your hand and setting your drink down.

“There’s not much space in here.” Kaz commented.

“Then we’ll be careful. Get up and fight me, coward.” You goaded. He gave you an incredulous look but stood anyway, tossing his cane up and grabbing it at it’s middle as he came towards you. Your grin broadened, and you waited just until the was in your range before you swung at him.

Your staff collided with his cane, moved up just in time to block your attack, and he watched you with challenging amusement. You let him make the next attack, knocking his cane away when he swung it towards you.

You exchanged blows, each of you managing to block all of the other’s attacks but you were starting to corner him. It seemed like you were about to get the upper hand when he swiped his cane towards your middle, making you jump back, and before you could move to swing on him he had pushed the crow’s head handle into your chest, not so hard that it was painful but with enough force to knock you backwards.

You landed on the edge of your bed with a groan, letting the staff drop from your hand in defeat.

“No fair, your cane is basically an extension of your arm.” You grumbled. Kaz let out a short breath, the closest thing to a laugh that anyone could get from him.

“You picked the fight.” He shrugged, lowering his cane and righting it at his hip. “I could have told you that you wouldn’t win it.”

“Mean!” You exclaimed in exaggerated offense, sitting up. When you looked at Kaz his expression was soft, the worry behind his eyes seemingly eased, and you smiled. “I could beat you if it was hand to hand.”

“I don’t doubt that.” He replied, the almost compliment catching you by surprise once again.

It had been a while since you and Kaz had spent any significant amount of time together. He was a busy man, particularly so over the last few months it seemed, so other than his brief drop-ins to deliver your letters you hadn’t seen him. It was nice to have his company again, even if he was a little off.

“Do you remember those drawings of Ketterdam that I used to send you with my letters?” You questioned softly, tucking your knees up to your chest. “I used to walk around the city looking for spots to sketch. I’d spend hours sitting on the street with my pencils trying to get the picture perfect to show you what it was like. I think, now, you probably know the city better than I do.” You smiled wistfully, resting your head on your knees as you looked up at Kaz. You saw his Adam’s apple bob with a swallow.

“You miss it, don’t you?” He asked.

“Of course.”

“You could go out there, stop hiding. You know I would look out for you.”

“I can’t put that burden on you, Kaz.” You chuckled lightly. “Enough people want you dead already, you don’t need to be looking after me while I’m being actively hunted.”

“How long do you plan on staying locked in here then?”

“As long as it takes, we went through this earlier. I have a big deal coming up, with the money from that I’d be able to smooth over some edges and maybe I could come out of hiding in a few months.” You theorised. “I’d still have to watch over my shoulder all the time but it would be an improvement.” Kaz’s jaw tightened again, and he bristled with agitation.

You hugged your knees tighter, doubt and worry overcoming you. Was Kaz not okay with coming to see you here anymore? Was he trying to get you out of hiding to lighten the burden it had put on him, getting your letters delivered to the Crow Club and having to bring them to you? The thought of not being able to rely on his short visits was enough to fill your chest with a mixture of dread and guilt.

“Like I said before, you don’t have to keep coming if that’s the problem.” You added, hiding the dejection in your voice. “Inej can-"

“No.” He interrupted bluntly. You blinked, pressing your lips together in contemplation. Was he upset that Inej was bringing supplies for you? Or worse, had something happened to her? Was that what was bothering him so much tonight?

“Why not?”

“Because I-" He cut himself off. He took a step back as if regaining his balance, his gaze falling to the floor, and you watched him flex his fingers around his cane as he organised his words. “Do you remember how you got sick while you were visiting your family?”

“Kaz.” You murmured tentatively, craning your neck to try and get a better look at his face that was turned away from you. Kaz didn’t like to talk about the past. Even bringing up the letters that you sent each other had been pushing it, but for him to choose to talk about your childhood was something he had never done before. Still now, it looked like the mention of the past was making him nauseous as he moved to sit down in the window once again. Your curiosity was growing by the second.

“You got sick and you could hardly get out of bed for almost a fortnight.” He continued, dismissing your concern. “I went to visit you every day. I picked flowers for you to make you feel better, and your mother baked oatmeal cookies but I refused to have any unless you did because you weren’t eating enough.”

“I remember.” You nodded. “You never let my glass of water get empty. It was sweet. But why does it matter now?”

“I can’t... I can’t stop worrying about you. But unlike when we were kids, I can’t just walk up the street and check on you every day.”

You felt as if all the air had been knocked out of your lungs and for a second you genuinely wondered if you had made that up in your head. Kaz very rarely expressed any emotion – the mask he wore hardly ever slipped – but here he was telling you that he worried about you. For Kaz, that was practically him baring his soul for you to see.

“You don’t have to worry about me.” You said shakily. “I’ve been fine so far, haven’t I?”

“But what if you’re not fine for much longer? As long as you’re holed up here I can’t keep you safe, and I can’t come to check on you because if I come here too often people might notice. Honestly, it’s a miracle that they haven’t already.”

“I didn’t think you believed in miracles.” You mumbled. Kaz glanced up at you, and the vulnerability on his face was unlike anything you’d seen before. It struck you in the heart and made you feel a need to comfort him, to put him at ease. “I can take care of myself, Kaz. I promise."

He was silent for a moment, his gaze downcast once again, then he took a deep breath and spoke.

“I think I’ll take that drink now.”

You watched him for just a second before you got up, crossing over to your desk and picking up the glass of whiskey that you had left there. The glass was half full since you had admittedly poured a little too generously.

You held it out to Kaz, who reached for it without looking. Although you were careful to hold the glass at the very top, his gloved fingers still brushed slightly over yours as he took a hold of it. He immediately stiffened, and you were quick to pull your hand away, taking a step back to give him space. He downed the drink in one, his face scrunching just slightly at the burn it left in his throat as he set the glass down by his feet.

“I just want to be able to watch over you.” He said, his voice barely more than a whisper, and you could practically see how difficult it was for him to verbalise his feelings.

“I think... I understand what you mean, Kaz. But I’m safer staying here than being out there, even with the Dregs protecting me. You have to know that, right?”

Kaz pushed a peice of hair out of his face, his gloved hand smoothing over his head as he let out a long and quiet sigh. Finally, he looked up at you.

“I know.” He answered.

“I appreciate your concern though.” You smiled. “Honestly, I didn’t think you cared about me that much. Or, well, I knew you cared but I just didn’t think... nevermind.”

“You didn’t think what?” Kaz’s question made you pause, anxiety pooling in your chest as you contemplated coming clean about your feelings. You thought about lying, about keeping your secrets to yourself, but Kaz had been so sincere it only felt right to return his honesty. With a deep breath, you worked up the courage to finally tell him the truth.

“I didn’t think that you cared as much as I do.” You replied. The sentence hung in the air for a moment as you moved back to sit in your desk chair, heart pounding in your chest. “I’ve kind of found myself caring a lot, actually. I think it’s only fair, really. I mean, I kind of owe you my life and all so it makes sense that I care. That’s not to say that it’s sensible but it is at least understandable, I guess.”

You bit your lip to stop your rambling, dropping your head so that you didn’t have to look at Kaz. There was a long stretch of silence.

“I care more than I might show.” He spoke softly, much more softly than you think you’d ever heard his voice. When you looked up Kaz was gazing right back at you, your eyes locking and his stare going deep into your soul. He didn’t need to say more, that simple sentence and the look in his eyes were enough to tell you what he was confessing. A smile pulled at your lips.

“Be careful what you admit, Brekker, or I might think that you’re going soft.” You joked, and he shook his head lightly in amusement. You leaned forward with your elbows on your knees, letting go of the anxiety that had been coursing through you.

“I'm serious, Y/N."

“I know. You don’t make a habit of saying things that you don’t mean.” You nodded. You glanced up at the clock on your wall with a sigh. “You really should get going, it’s dangerous for us both for you to stay too long.”

“Yes, I suppose so.” He muttered.

He stood after a moment, his hand flexing over the crow’s head handle of his cane. You reached back to pick his hat up from the desk, and he held a hand out for it, but instead of passing it to him you placed atop your own head. It was too big, and you had to push it back on your head so it didn’t slide over your face.

“You know, I rather like you without the hat.” You smiled.

“Is that so?”

“Yep. I can see your face better this way so I can tell when your emotions manage to break through.” Kaz’s lips quirked upwards a little as he took the hat from your head and put it on his own. You jutted your lip out in an exaggerated pout and he let out a huff that seemed suspiciously close to a laugh.

“Do you have any letters you need me to send out?”

“No, not this time.”

“Alright, then I’ll be on my way.” He gave a quick nod and turned towards the door. He had only taken a couple of steps when you twisted in your chair and called after him .

“Kaz.” He stopped and turned back to you. “I’m doing what I can to get out of this apartment, I promise.”

“That’s not something that you owe me, Y/N. It’s your freedom and your safety. But I await the day that you come waltzing into the Crow Club ready to make Jesper lose all the coin in his pocket.” He replied lightly, making you smile. “And if you need anything then I’m here, all you have to do is ask.”

“Thank you, not just for this but for everything. Everything that you’ve given me since that night outside the Crow Club. I might be dead if it weren’t for you.” You let sentiment out freely, finally feeling able to show your heart to Kaz now that you knew that your affections weren’t one sided. His expression softened, and he seemed to contemplate something deeply, before he took a single step back towards you and held out one gloved hand.

You hesitated, unsure if he was initiating what you were thinking, but he maintained eye contact. He gave a small nod, a mix of permission and encouragement, and you tentatively reached for his outstretched hand.

Kaz took in a deep breath when your hand made contact with his, and you watched him carefully ready to pull your hand away. After a moment he released the breath, wrapping his fingers lightly around yours and running his thumb over your knuckles.

“You’re the closest thing to home that I have.” He croaked. “I didn’t want to lose that.”

“You won’t.” You affirmed. Kaz released your hand, and you found yourself missing the feeling of the leather glove. He took a small step back, trying to hide the shake in his breathing.

“I’ll come back soon, as soon as it’s safe to.”

“Okay.” You smiled. “I’ll see you then.”

Kaz left the apartment without another word between you, he paused before closing the door after himself just to look at you for a moment longer. You watched out of the window to see him leave the building and start off through the street, a broad smile on your face.

#shadow and bone #six of crows #shadow and bone netflix #sab #sab netflix #soc #kaz brekker #kaz brekker x reader #kaz brekker fanfic #kaz brekker fic #kaz brekker oneshot #grishaverse #leigh bardugo #crooked kingdom #jesper fahey #inej ghafa #dirtyhands #bastard of the barrel

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mxtcha-tea · 4 years ago

Text

domestic shiratorizawa

⊹summary; the life inside the dorms of shiratorizawa

⊹pilots; gn![y/n], ushijima, tendou, semi, yamagata, reon, kawanishi, shirabu, goshiki (pairings showed; yamagata x reader, goshiki x reader)

⊹genre; fluff, crack and some cursings (no proofread)

⊹flight details; i've once made a domestic imagines in my old blog so imma make a small reboot of it <3

random shopping

normal day, normal life. you could've seen yourself laying or even napping in your room while a compilation of minecraft songs plays in the background. but no. instead, you're inside an antique shop with Yamagata, Ushijima and Tendou.

you have no idea when, or how did the process happened but you surely is done with getting dragged inside the shop by Tendou and Yamagata.

while Ushijima's stuck on a section, you don't know where, but he's definitely stuck there, "[y/n]! look at what i found,"

Yamagata called you as you turned around to see him holding up a pretty heavy doll. you raise your brow, "what the hell is that?" walking towards him and taking a closer look at the object in hand,

"i think it's a, um, i think a matryoska doll? matroyska? is that how you say it?" "why're you asking me, i don't know jack shit about russian stuff,"

"ah you mean, matryoshka doll?" Tendou butted in, startling you two, "it's also called a 'nesting doll' and did you actually know that it was actually originated from china?"

Yamagata's eyes practically sparkled at that with a surprised look, "from china? really?"

you can only roll your eyes, "and how can you even know all that?" Tendou snickered and put on a smug face, "i'm actually very smart, y'know. ya'll just don't know about it," "says the person in class 2,"

"i blame the mathematic old hags for adding letters in math, and the apple that fucking hit my man Isaac," you tsk'ed and walk towards the next section. Yamagata passive aggressively put the matryoshka doll down and follow after you along with Tendou,

"also, we need to find ushijima, i think he's stuck in some section between here...ah there," you stopped walking and turn to your right where you find Ushijima reading a book.

Tendou skipped towards him and smack his shoulder, "you okay, wakatoshi-kun? you sure did took longer to look at the stuff here," while Tendou chats with Ushijima, Yamagata look up at the shelves as something caught his eyes.

he tried to reach it while tip toing but due to his height, he can't reach it. then, he jumped from his spot to grab the object but end up hitting his head onto the board, "AGH, FUCK!" which causes you all to look at him, watching him hold his head while shivering from the pain,

"are you okay, yamagata?" ushijima ask, putting back the book on the shelves, "yeah, yeah, i'm just tryna get that," he shakes his head before pointing up.

you followed his finger and caught a glimpse of an old polaroid. it's a little bit dusty but other than that, it looks new. Ushijima reached it from his spot and managed to grab it, "here,"

he hands it to Yamagata as he instantly recovered from his recent pain and snatch it from Ushijima's hand, subtly thanking him with a grin, "why do you even need a polaroid?" Tendou asked, leaning his arm over Ushijima's shoulder with one brow up,

"pfft, for journaling of course,"

a gust of wind went through you while staring at him with a poker face, the same with Tendou with a small cat like smile. Ushijima just looked the same,

"okay," "WHAT'S WITH THE TONE??" you blinked and just knit your eyebrows, "i mean, since when you started journaling? you're not even the type of person to do something aesthetic,"

he pouted and just crosses his arms, "so what? that doesn't mean i can't do it, right? have faith in me god darn it. and honestly, my journal looks good so far," "well, fine,"

you waved your hand at him and continue going through the other section. and just like that, "hey wait!" Yamagata tailed after you.

Tendou snickered at the two and focus back on Ushijima, who's still watching the display yet again, "have you thought of what to buy wakatoshi-kun?" "i'm not sure, there's a lot of interesting stuff here," "well, you've only been in this section but okay~"

studying

"agh, why did those idiots really have to call me at this time...?"

you groaned, slowly walking through the halls with a slouched figure. tracing your fingers along the wall with a dejected look. you're suppose to sleep today.

an hour or two long sleep. it's finally the weekend which means the time for you to sleep all of your problems away. drifting into slumber with fluffy pillows and warm blankets, enjoying your dream as long as you can.

until your ringtone annoyingly rings next to your ear. you answer the call, and again greeted by the most annoying human in the planet,

"[y/n], we need you at the gym right now!"

"huh? oh fuck off Tendou, i need to sleep right now,"

"nuh uh, you can sleep later after you go to the gym,"

"why? are you, i don't know, practicing or something?"

"you have to find out. if you don't move your ass from that bed, we'll send Hayato to wake you up~"

". . ."

and now, you find yourself standing in front of the door of shiratorizawa's volleyball gym. not only that Tendou wakes you up from your sleep, you also had to WALK all the way from your dorm to the gym,

"i'm gonna add more time to their practices after this..."

sliding the door open, you expect them to be doing serves or maybe spikes.

but instead, you're seeing them—as in the 3rd years—all sitting down at the middle of the court, with books around them.

and what's even more confusing is that they somehow managed to bring a table inside. no, not the flip-able table.

literally a whole ass table.

Reon looks up from his book and notices your figure standing on the door way. he waves his hand at you, you did the same but still with a confused look.

Yamagata was next to see you as he abruptly stand up from his spot, shaking the table in the process,

"Hayato! stop shaking the table," "oops, sorry. ah, wait, [y/n]!"

that caught all of the boys attention as they look at you, "what taking you so long to arrive?" Tendou asked, a pen rested in between his upper lip and nose.

Semi smacked him in the face—earning an 'ow'—before shaking his head,

"their dorm is literally far from the gym, and why do you even proposed your idea of studying at the gym anyway?"

you make your way towards them, Reon patting the empty spot next to him. you sat down on your spot as Yamagata did the same. seemed like he was waiting for you.

Tendou rubbed his nose and pouted at Semi, "this was the best place to study anyway! it have much more room,"

"we should've gone to the cafeteria OR the LIBRARY," Semi groaned, looking back at his book before writing on it,

"pfft, the cafeteria's no fun. and i got banned from the library," Reon looks at Tendou with confusion, "well, it's not surprising,"

Tendou shrugged, "i was also banned from the library," Ushijima said, not looking up from his notes as you knit your eyebrows at that,

"you're also banned from the library? Satori, what did you and Ushijima did—" "anyways, um,"

he cut you off, fidgeting with his pen before pointing it at you, "right, you need to tutor us on this subject~!"

you blinked, looking down at the book they're studying about, "haven't the teacher covered this already?"

"well, i'm sorry, class 6. but we have no idea how this thing works. maybe only Reon, but look at Semi,"

Tendou wrapped his arm around Semi's neck, practically head locking him, "he's from class 1 and i think you should teach him about this the most," "I'll rip your fucking head off, Tendou!"

while both of them tried to strangle each other, Yamagata caught your attention next,

"and also, it won't be fun without you, y'know," Reon nodded, "and don't forget that you can't leave me alone in this,"

"oh right," "hm? what was that?" Yamagata asked. you just shake your head with a defeated smile, "nothing..."

after clearing your throat, you snatched Semi's book away before flipping through the pages,

"okay you scumbags, it's time to learn,"

oblivious enough

the birds chirped from the tree, the hallway's as loud as ever. Semi and Tendou's leaning against the window, each of them drinking apple juice and eating yakisoba bread.

it was silence between them before Semi spoke, "hey, Tendou," "yes Semi-Semi?" "y'know,"

Semi turned his head to look at Tendou as the redhead did the same, "have you, noticed the relationship between [y/n] and Yamagata lately?"

the latter made a thinking face, before nodding, "hm, seems so,"

"do you think, either one of them ever noticed about it?" Tendou shakes his head at the question, "nope, i don't think they do. in fact, they might be completely oblivious to it,"

Semi snickered, "right, like that one time..."

"[y/n], do you think my lips are dry right now?"

you look up from your clipboard, seeing Yamagata pointing his lips, "hm, nah. they're fine, but if you want, i can but on some lip balm,"

his eyes sparkled at that as he nodded his head with excitement, "sure!" you walk towards your bag with Yamagata following you. opening the zipper and search inside it, you pull out your lip balm,

"here, hold still," you put a hand on his cheek while the other applies lip balm onto his lips. it was a slow process but he managed to not move at all while making eye contact with you.

once you finished applying, he pop his lips before humming, "mn, cherry," "let me know if you need anything else,"

he nodded with now flushed cheeks as he smile at you. you did the same, gently patting his arm.

from a distance, Shirabu looks at them with a disgusted look, "ugh, can't they be more subtle about it,"

Kawanishi shrugged, "just let them be,"

"how can i redo my memory? i don't need to see that this early," "well, what if it was us?" "i would be twice as grossed, i can put my own lip balm," "hm yeah, you're right, i honestly would be like that too," "good,"

"haha yeah, now that i think about it, they do it all the time right?" Tendou nodded at Semi's statement before hearing the all too familiar voice just a few meters away from them,

"[y/n]!"

you turned your head around while still sipping your drink. Yamagata stood in front of you, holding out his visibly crumpled necktie with a small smile,

"my necktie!" "ah again? whatever," you give your drink to him as he hold it for you.

grabbing the necktie from his hand, looping it around his collar shirt and started tying it with a concentrated look,

"i can't say that it'll be clean when i finished tying it," "it's okay! that's why i'm asking you to do it, messy or not, at least i have it on," "hm, yeah,"

after you finished tying it and patting it a little, Yamagata hugged you, "thank you!" "yeah, you're welcome,"

the aura literally radiates on the slightly crowded hallway as some of the students who passed you talked among themselves.

Semi and Tendou stared at you two, expressionless eyes but with a small smile,

'ah, right,'

Tendou sighed, intertwining his fingers together and lifting it up to his cheeks, "ah, young love~"

"we're all the same age,"

"young love~"

bonus; reliable kouhai

lifeless.

is what goshiki would say when he took a few glances at you from his book. you promised to tutor him about this subject he's struggling on. but didn't really expect to see your slouched form walking inside the library.

he's not even sure if you even hear anything you're saying right now, "get a shovel and two-" your head hit the table, creating a loud sound and catching the attention of almost everyone inside the library,

"[y/n]-senpai, um, are you okay??" you groaned and rapidly blink your eyes, covering your forehead, "yeah, 'm just..."

a yawn escaped from your mouth before you can even finish your sentence, "...tired. those stupid senpais of yours need help tutoring too even tho being grown ass men,"

goshiki closes his book and creating a small 'thump', snapping you out from your mind,

"well, if that so then you didn't have to come, you could've just tell me and i would be fine with it!" your hoarse laugh caught him off guard as a shade of red ran across his cheeks, "i can't break a promise, tsutomu. why do you even think i agree on tutoring you?"

"uh, cause you want to help me with my studies?" "one of it, and cause i enjoy tutoring you," he can feel his cheeks heating up more when you made eye contact with him, a small smile laced upon your face,

"and honestly, you're smarter than i thought. class 4 right? that's cool," he looked away, trying to calm his nerves down, "t-thanks! a lot of people thought i was in a lower class, so i, i appreciate it,"

goshiki took a peek at you, now burying your face onto your face, "also, senpai," "hm?"

"you should take a nap for now, i think i can start understanding this formula," you slightly look up at him, "you sure? i was prolly talking craps just now," "yeah! your health is more important anyway,"

you hum, offering him a warm smile, "thanks, i know i can count on you," you rested onto your side and close your eyes. lips slightly parted and just like that, you're deep in your dreams.

he pursed his lips, slowly leaning against the table to look at your face. it's calm, peaceful and beautiful, kissable lips. he wonder if he could lean in a little closer until you two-

goshiki instantly jolted up and hit himself on the head, face's covered in the color red, 'no! don't think about that, curse you Tendou-San for introducing me to those mangas...'

Tendou's faces ran across his mind as he grunted,

'why're they so pretty??'

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afterglowisbliss · 3 years ago

Text

Cutting away the dread

Levi x Fem!Reader

This story contains: Mentions of death, rapid weight loss, mentions of sexual harassment (it is not over the top, but just in case I will put the warning here)

"Hey" you jump at the stern voice, nearly dropping your tea in the process. "It's been quite some time, Y/n. I almost couldn't recognise you with that long hair" the voice teased while flicking your long locks. That's right, you've been letting yourself go. The unkept hair and dark circles under your eyes were a dead giveaway that you weren't doing so good.

You're usually good at hiding your problems and emotions. It's the scouts way. The longer you practise, the more you master the skill of being numb.

"Hey Levi, it has been quite awhile, huh..." you responded in a soft tone. While the other scouts walked on eggshells around Levi, you were free to talk any way you wanted. He wouldn't even get angry. Annoyed at times if you crossed a line, but never angry. He almost never made any snide remarks towards you either. He had a soft spot for you. You were his weakness. Anyone who dared to hurt or mess with you would feel the wrath of THE Levi Ackerman. An example being when you and Levi were walking together to buy SOME tea when a man put his arm around your waist. "How much will it be, lovely lady" he snickered. You were visibly uncomfortable but before you could react Levi had already taken care of it. Knocked out cold on ground with wide eyes looking our direction from innocent bystanders. "It'll cost your life, you filthy shit" Levi hissed. He grabbed your hand and immediately took you back to HQ in fear someone else might try their luck.

While you weren't too sure why you were 'the chosen one' you never really questioned it. You just went along with his kindness and soft attitude towards you. Perhaps it was because he was aware you could dive deep into his soul and discover everything about him without even trying. Maybe that intimidated him. You were always one to read people like a book. He would often mock you calling you a stalker with how well you knew people without much information about their lives being shared. That's where you and Levi contrast. While he might not show it, he's caring, emotional and protective. However, despite that he is far from a people person. He doesn't read people the way you do.

It had been three months since it happened. The guilt still weighing over you as if a titan was sitting on you. You could still see his face. He was begging for your help and crying for his mom. His final moments being in the disgusting mouth of a titan and all you could do was run away.

Run away... Just like all of your problems...

Levi rests his hand on your shoulder. Despite his cold demeanor he was actually warm. Physically. You knew this due to all the times he's carried you away from danger, or when he would grab your hand when you would freak out. Or even when he would slightly move you out of his way with his hands on your shoulders. His body heat was comforting and you found yourself gravitating towards Levi when you were in a room together. This is also where you and Levi contrast. You are more warm hearted on the outside, yet your body temperature is almost abnormally cold all the time. Yet even with your icy hands on Levi's he never flinched. Almost as if both your temperatures balanced each others.

"Have you... Have you been feeling any better?" he was gentle approaching the subject. He took a seat across from you. This was when he first noticed your unkept appearance. You looked frighteningly skinnier. Cheeks that used to be full and puffy were much more hollow. He knew you were brokent in which return broke him.

You try look into his dark grey eyes attempting to answer his question. As you open your mouth you immediately close it again. Your lips started quivering and your eyes started to tear up. Embarrassed you look away, hair covering your face. Your start to aggressively squeez your left hand with your right as all the emotion starts to build up. You never cried in front of anyone, not even Levi. This time you simply couldn't keep it in anymore.

"Y/n... Look at me" he asserted. When you refused he took your chin between his thumb and index finger and brought your face level to his. He parted your hair out of your face and gently tucked it behind your ear. "Y/n, please look at me" he pleaded. He sounded desperate and wooful. He couldn't bare the sight of the people he cared about in pain. It was one of the only things that could completely soften Levi.

The desperation in his voice convinced you to look up at him. He is met with your beautiful yet sorrowful eyes. "I'm sorry, Levi" you sniffed followed by a deep breath in. "No. I haven't. Every attempt I make to be productive... Every attempt I make to go outside I think of him. He was so innocent. I promised. I promised I would keep him safe. I told him... I told him he was safe with me" you grieved. "I made a promise only to watch him die! I'm a shitty person, he begged me, Levi! HE BEGGED ME TO HELP HIM BECAUSE I PROMISED HIM THAT I WOULD, BUT INSTEAD I TURNED MY BACK ON HIM. AN INNOCENT CHILD" you wailed breaking down into tears grabbing onto Levi's shirt. He embraced you, pulling you closer to his chest as you sniffle and cry, wetting his shirt with your tears.

"You're not a shitty person, Y/n. You couldn't save him because if you did hundreds of others would've died in his place. I know it's hard to accept the death of someone you promised to keep safe, we have all been there, but you have to understand that letting someone go is a part of life. It's inevitable. Whether it was in that moment or 20 years from now, you would've had to have said goodbye eventually." he reassures. You stop crying for a moment to think about Levi's words. It's true what he said. We all eventually have to say goodbye to the ones we care about.

"Tell me, Y/n, did you directly promise him you would keep him safe?" he questioned. When you thought about that day, the answer was clear. "I-I told him I would try my best to keep him safe..." you mumbled. "So it's clear now. You did follow through with your promise. You tried your best to keep him safe. Now all that is left for us to do is to make sure he didn't die in vein." Levi added pulling you away from his chest to make eye contact with you once again.

You wipe the tears of your face and mod in agreement. There is no point grieving for the rest of your life over something you couldn't control. All that was left for you now was to make sure his death meant something.

"Levi..." your voice is haorse and strained from all the crying. "Can I ask you a favour?" you request followed by a confused Levi who isn't used to you asking for favours. "Can you please cut my hair?" you innocently ask and your cheeks start to heat up. Its an odd question to ask a Captain. "It's just that... My hair is getting too long for odm gear and I don't like to tie up my hair" you explain further hoping to persuade Levi into cutting your hair for you. "Go wet your hair for me" he commands while getting up from his seat to get the scissors. A slight smile creeps up onto your face. That's the first time that's happened in awhile.

You do as he says wetting your hair with lukewarm water. Once you're all done you look around for a comb to quickly get rid of any knots that might get in the way. "Don't worry I'll comb your hair for you" Levi assures and motions for you to sit down on the chair in from of him.

You sit with your legs crossed, hands fiddling with the gem of your shirt while Levi gently combs through your your hair. It reached just 2 inches away from your shoulder which to you, was quite long considering the length you usually keep it at.

Levi strokes your hair feeling for any missed knots. "How short would you like it?" he asks preparing the scissors in his hand. You take a moment to ponder on the question. How short would you like it?

"a pixie cut" you reply with confidence. It's a bold decision considering you've never tried it before.

"Are you sure? You've never-" "I'm sure" you cut him off. He sighs before commenting on your boldness, "Always one to try new things huh." You chuckle. He wasn't wrong.

Snip, snip, snip

You feel your hair fall first onto you, then onto the ground. You watch as the hair slightly moves with the wind sneaking in from the window that won't close properly. The whole scene feeling very calming and relaxing. The sound of scissors cutting hair was oddly satisfying.

Before you knew it he was done. He sets the pair of scissors down on the table behind him and rests his left hand on your shoulder. "what do you think?" he asks. You open your eyes to look right at a mirror hanging on the wall in front of you. Your eyes widen in shock. It actually looks nice.

"I think it suits you" Levi adds before walking to the other side of the room to get a broom. "Thank you, Levi" you say grabbing his forearm and pulling him into an embrace.

Levi isn't the biggest fan of physical affection but let it slide when it came to you. "Anytime, Y/n."

#levi #aot anime #levi attack on titan #levi ackerman oneshot #levi ackerman imagine #levi ackerman headcanons #levi ackerman #levi ackerman snk #aot fanfiction #levi aot #aot imagines #aot x y/n #levi x reader #snk oneshot #snk x reader #snk #snk levi

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crookedmusician · 3 years ago

Text

Once Again

A/N:- This is just a drabble that popped up in my head and is based on "The Amazing Spider-Man" universe, NOT based on the Marvel mcu. If you haven't watched the movies then pls read this with an open mind. The drabble is also fixed in a time that is five years after Gwen dies and is completely based on my thought and universe. Please don't read it if you're not comfortable.

Peter Parker x Fem Reader

Genre : Slight Angst, Comfort, Slice of Life

Warnings : Very Slight and descriptive mentions of wounds and death, the characters are all adults, Y/N has a defined profession for the sake of the plot

*This is also not proof read so please bare with any errors if there are any*

It's been Five years.

Five years since Gwen's funeral. Five years since New York city was almost destroyed. Five Years since an innocent boy lost his sanity to death. Five Years since Peter Parker was too late to save his love, his best friend and his emotions to grief.

It had been Five years since that faithful day that still seemed to haunt Peter from time to time.

After the......incident happened, five years ago, Peter had shut off. He didn't talk, eat or even go to work. His job was willing to let him off that time, but the mental pressure that had bundled up inside Peter's head had refused to go. As a result, even after Peter came back, he was only a shell of himself, an empty treasure from which the gold had been stolen - just like how life was stolen from the eyes of so many he failed to save on that one dreadful day.

But If anything broke Peter more than his incompetency to save the lives of those millions he failed, it was the death of Gwen. Death of the only person Peter beleived to have given him a purpose to be Spiderman and save the city and it's residents. His reason to survive every battle he fought. His best friends, girlfriend and his reason, to just live.

Peter still remembers that day, that moment as clear as day. He still remembers the catastrophe that was caused that day, the destruction, the smell of death and spilled blood that matted the air in a heavy silence. He still remembers how the life wilted out from Gwen's eyes as she fell from the tower, as he held her afterwards; he still remembers how her once warm body turned deadly pale, her cheeks stopped sport the regular blush - and they all haunted him. They Traumatized Peter through his day, haunted his nightmares and swam in front of his mind each and every moment he lived. So Peter did the only thing he thought might help, he shut off everyone out of his life, he shut off the flow of emotions in his being, & he swore to never let anyone in, he vowed to not care about anything except defending NYC against the new villains attacking everyday.

Cause Peter Parker may have been a hero, but his emotions flowed through his veins as thickly as the spider's venom in his blood. So promised, to shut out and never let anyone in. That became his coping mechanism.

Yet again, five years later that same spider-boy found himself in the exact position he had been in, five years prior - sitting on the bed of a rooftop apartment while the huge scratches on his chest were being cleaned by the slender hands of a young woman sitting in front of him. It was an awkward kind of deja vu for Peter - Both hurting and comforting to know that someone - other than May cared for him still, however the recollection couldn't help but bring those ugly thoughts back into the forefront of Peter's mind. The same thoughts that occupied his mind in the waking hours.

The scratches burned and sizzled under the alcohol, even though it was applied with softness and expertise; but Peter didn't Flinch. Yes, there was a slight wince here and there, but no reaction revealed was too strong. Years of constant battle against the seemingly never-ending villains of New York happened to make Peter a bit more cautions and tolerating of his injuries - something that seemed to work greatly in favour of Peter at the moment - so as to not make the budding doctor in front overthink her capabilities.

Was New York always so needy and loud for the Spider-Man? This was something that occupied Peter's head often.

However, when he thought back on it, perhaps it was better for him to put his life on the line than have someone innocent or desiderate to live to fight the devils.

I mean, he did fit all the requirements for this job didn't he?

He was young, had the abilities, tolerant of the aftermaths of the fights he carried carved in his skin, bones and blood. Moreover he didn't have anyone to rely on or care for - May would be able to live with him, his job wasn't so special to him if he didn't require the money either. On the contrary Peter thought it to be a blessing to die - to forget all the turmoils, catastrophes of the world; to forget how many villains needed to be fought or how many people needed to be saved - to just forget.

Peter always thought, that maybe he wasn't made for love. That maybe he didn't deserve it. He thought about how everyone he loved left him, deserted him and thinking back on them, he just wondered how much love favoured him in this life. Maybe love didn't favour him at all, maybe love hated him, maybe that's why death always won in each of his chapters. Maybe that's why, Peter had become a void - because love refused to favour the life of this boy. He never really understood why lover never looked upon him with a smile. But guess there was never really an explanation for some grudges.

But if love never favoured him, Then what was this sudden weird electric sparks coursing through his body? This weird fluttering that seemed to keep him up at nights thinking about this one person that flew in his life and and broke past all his resolves to nestle herself comfortably inside the confines of the walls surrounding his heart?

And Peter really never could understand what was happening in his body. At first he thought that perhaps it was his spidey senses. But after a while, when he actually came to a conclusion, he was dumbfounded. Being deprived of love and refusing the comfort of any other hands rather than his own for such a long time - the revelation - was actually quite unexpected by him.

But to say that Peter didn't see all of the unfolding and development of feelings, would be a mistake. Mayhaps, Peter did knew what was happening, did knew that he was falling in a bottomless hole; but the feeling of letting go, the feeling that encompassed the journey was so blissfull it was hard to deny himself the pleasure after denying it for such a long while.

So we recount to a faithful afternoon, two years prior, to an empty & silent alley in one of the bustling streets of NYC.

XXX ♤♡◇♧ XXX

It was just another day in the life of Peter Parker - waking up, packing his suit, taking an early leave or going on a feild trip for his job only to fight the villains and end up all bloody. The only difference was the gushing wound on one of Peter's upper legs that seemed way worse than his regular wounds.

Peter seeked sanctum in one of the empty alleys of the New York Streets to treat the wound only to find himself looking sideways at a young bespectacled woman with curious eyes, hair in a messy bun, clutching one strap of a heavy-looking backpack with some folders and pages in the other - she was staring at him with worry in her orbs.

Usually it wouldn't have been a problem, he'd hit up some pick up lines and flee as far as possible with his wounded leg and never meet the girl again - it was simple and easy without any damage to either his social or personal life. And it would've been easy and simple - Only if Peter had been wearing his mask. But he sadly wasn't, and now he gazed back like a deer caught in the headlights as the figure approached him slowly and cautiously and stopped a few feet away.

"Can you walk?" The words were almost whispered with caution.

"Excuse me?" Peter said in a breathless voice; swinging through the city with an almost torn-off leg does hurt more than Peter imagined, after all.

"Can You walk? With that leg of yours?"

"Yes, I suppose. But why?" Peter asked with confusion and weariness.

"Then please come to the top floor. I can treat your wound."

The clutch of the strap got a bit tighter as the words tumbled out of her lips in the hushed silence of the alley. To say Peter was surprised would be an understatement; it had been a while since someone willingly wanted to help him. But then again, Peyer wasn't weak, was he? He surely could handle that little much laceration wound on his own, right? So just like Peter have always done, to all his colleagues, his neighbours, supposed friends, associates and May, he declined.

"Thank you for the offer but I can Handle this on my own," Peter uttered in the same dazed voice, opting to turn his head down as if signalling the end of the conversation.

"I'm sure you can," the voice chirped again to fill the whispery silence, "to the best of your abilities, but It would be better if I had a look at it. I'm a medical student so I'll be able to ptch it up reall quick too. Besides to treat you'd have to either swing or walk back to your home, and you really can't do either with that deep of a cut anyways. So let me have a look at it, please."

"I said I you do-"

"No you can't, you may clean it or patch it up until you can do it up but the slash is huge, don't you see? If you don't treat it immediately, your whole leg would either get infected or you'll bleed to raw. And I don't think you'l be able to swing your way around the city with a half infected leg anyways. So Please for your leg's sake enter the third window from the right on the top floor of this building so I can nurse the damage. I'll try to get there ASAP," and with that the girl hurried inside a door on the side of the monument on right.

Peter however, was still failing to recover from his daze, and by the time her words actually registered in his head the wound had started to sizzle with wind. He gathered his own stuffed backpack and as slowly and painlessly he can, followed the instructions.

Peter swung to top of the building & crept insided the bedroom of a rooftop apartment that looked very comfy despite being a complete definition catastrophe to found himself in a pair of freshly washed shirt and jogging shorts half an hour later - the girl said they belonged to her father and brother previously.

Peter stared at the unknown woman as she wrapped up the incision in a white cloth. Her fingers were skilled & worked in a quick yet sure manner.

"You can handle pain very well you know?" The woman broke the awkward silence with a glance at Peter's face only find him staring back at her with a monotone face, "the area around the gash had already started getting infected, if I found you a bit later your leg might've fallen off. Still you're very lucky. Thankfuy no valuable nerve was heavily dama-"

"Why are you helping me?" The rambling was interupted by the strict and straight voice of the spidey

"Excuse me?"

"Why are you helping me?"

"Because I can? Am I not allowed to help you? You looked like you needed some serious help though," The woman asked tilting her head slightly.

"Is it a plot?" Years of practice had certainly helped Peter maintain a Poker face, which came in handy as he stared at the confused eyes of the woman in front of him - his heart deeming the expression to be cute.

"A plot?" The woman repeated as she looked at him in disbelief, "You think l'm helping you because l'm involved in a...a...a stupid gang or something that wants to murder you?"

"Or it could be an individual plan," Peter shrugged nonchalantly as he dared not remove his eyes from his supposed - captor.

"An individual pl-?"

"Why else would you help me? If not for your own benefit?"

At this The woman seemed to become a little pissed at Peter's words as she sputtered with her next sentences before finally giving a coherent reply, "Maybe fighting with evel people all your life makes you heroes feel as if good people don't exist but trust me, they do. And quite contrary to your assumptions I just so happen to be one of them."

The woman tied the cloth around Peter's leg in a tight knot & rose from her seat collecting the equipments back in her first aid box, opting to leave the room, offended - instead finding herself halting mid-step at peter's voice calling out to her.

"I'm Peter," Peter gazed at her retreating figure and as she turned around to look at him with judging eyes, "Peter Parker."

The words were uttered into the sunset in a softer tone - as if the speaker was almost shy, which - looking back at the circumstances - Peter probably was. And as the dying rays of the sun filtered through the drawn back curtain of the only window in the room - the one Peter had entered through - encasing the room in all it's ethereal glow, Peter was able to finally get a glimpse of his healer, clearly.

The rays fell on the bed and on womanly figure, bathing her in the delicate glow of dusk, highlighting her dainty features. She was handsome, very much so in the afyernoon light; and despite being pissed and offended a few mintues prior, she took her time in tilting the corners of her lips into a soft amd pleasant smile as the injured man stared at her in awe - that was perfectly hidden beneath his Poker Face.

"I'm Y/N L/N." The names etched itself in Peter's brain ringing sweet bells everytime, serenading him into calmness.

And so since that fateful day, it became a regular event. Whenevr Peter would get hurt - no matter how small or big the wound, he'd always find himself on the doorstep (or window sill), of the tenth floor building on the same street he never remembered the name of. And slowly as the days swept by, the visits weren't just limited to treating wounds. Infact, contary to either of their professions, Peter found both of them had quite a lot in common, and their opinions generally matched - and for the ones that didn't, both of their adjustable manners suited the situations. And as the days brew into nights, Peter found a companion in Y/N - one that Peter hoped lasted for life.

Peter found a best friend to look after him and talk with on rainy days and summer evenings.

××× ♤♡◇♧ ×××

Now, two years later as Peter sat on the same bed he had so many times before, he thought back on all the bitter and sweet memories Life gifted him, and perhaps they were needed for Peter to bring him to this point in life - and Peter never wanted to go back.

It was late. The sun had gone down a few hours prior and the moon glowed brightly in the sky, peeking in through the windows as Peter observed the familliar figure beside him - nursing another one of Peter's daily unwanted gifts.

She looked dainty, almost unreal as the moonlight illuminated the room casting it in the soft glow of night time. As Peter gazed at her, he started carving out all the plains and roughs of her faces, the shape of her eyes, lips and nose, the way her lithe fingers glided across Peter's skin - and Peter couldn't find it in himself to intrupt the dance her fingers were engaged in on his chest. A light breeze swept in through the wind making rounds of the room and messing with the strands hanging around Y/N's face as Peter gazed at the seemingly engaging spiral of movements infront of him.

"Staring is rude, you know?"

The peaceful silence occupying the room was suddenly broken, giving Peter a small start, as Y/N lifted her head barely so as to glance up at Peter's face, her lips curving into a small smirk at the look of slight surprise on his face, before her skilled hands resumed their work.

After a breif moment of comprehension - and more staring as Y/N wrapped up the gashes and stood up to starighten the sheets on the bed as much she could with the tall figure lying on top, Peter finally found his voice strong enough to utter the two words - that he hoped would convey all that was unsaid and all that he wanted to say but couldn't.

"Thank You."

Y/N looked up once again at Peter with a teasing yet soft grin and breathy chuckle, "Pete, don't be so modest about yourself. Patching up your wounds provide me an excuse to practise my skills on a regular basis. And as a junior doc, It's more benifitting to me that it is to you."

Peter let out a breathy chuckle, rubbing the back of his neck as Y/N turned around to put the first aid box at the top of one of her bedroom shelves, "Still thank you, for everything you've done for me. I really appreciate it."

And this time as Y/N turned around to look at her best friend, she paused for a second, taking in the scene before her. The moon casted the same glow on Peter's form as it had on her back - except this time, the star gazed one was Y/N.

She had always wondered how she never once felt awkward with the close proximity, she always seemed to share with Peter. Her heart once whispered because they were menat to be; but the rational part of her brain was quick to shut down the irrational daydream before it could flourish. However the warmth of her cheeks when Peter looked at her, the tiny fluttering in her stomach whenever he'd smile, the warmth in her being when they hugged couldn't be stopped from spreading all through her body.

There were nights, when she wondered how it would be if she was brave enough to turn the page to the next chapter and just ask her best friend out. But then again, even though happiness was granted if the proposal was accepted - the pain, heartbreak and loss of warmth in their friendship, at the refusal was granted in a much greater probability. And thus Y/N drifted off to sleep every night thinking of all the 'ifs' of the world.

But this wasn't the world of dreams, it was the waking world, and as Y/N realised the soft glow in Peter's eyes when he looked at her, she wondered - no, hoped that her feeling might probably be reciprocated.

"It's honestly no biggie Pete. It really isn't," She neared the bed as she said the words, finally sitting upon it with one leg folded on the matress and the othe rdangling down the side, her eyes searched Peter's face carefully noticing the genuine-ness behind Peter's words, "however what is a problem is that you've hadn't had a single mouthful since the meager breakfast this morning. Honestly dude, don't you ever get hungry? If I wa sin your place I'd be starving! Heck, I'm starving even now!"

Peter let out a small breathy laugh at Y/N's dramatics. She always tended to be the more dramatic one, especially regarding matters of food. So sporting a soft smile he looked up Y/N.

"No I'm fine, I'd just have something to eat when i get home."

"Home? Do you even know how late it is?! It's," she hekd up the digital clock on the side of her bed, "9.15 already! You literally live on the other side of the city! By the time you reach your home it would be way past 10! I ain't letting you starve till then boy!"

By now, Y/n had stood up on her feet in front of the bed with her hands on her hips - and Peter found it to be way too cute for her, "Call up Aunt May and tell her that you'll be eating here today. I'll go and start whipping something up in the kitchen, ok?"

"Ok."

"Good," Y/N turned around & exited the room heading down the halls to the kitchen, to scour how much she can that would fill both her and Peter up, while Peter rested on her bed.

Ever since that incident five years ago, Peter had always wondered that maybe love wasn't really meant for him, that maybe love didn't favour him. But now, as he stared at the moonlit retreating figure of Y/N L/N, he prayed to all the love gods in existence, to favour him just this once as he drafted up the same confession, he had been drafting for the past years, to finally come out of his heart and in to minds of the beauty he called his bestfriend.

A/N : Pls tell me how you like it in the comments this is my first story and I would really appreciate the feedback!

Please don't repost or rwupload my work anywhere apart from here.

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iwalc · 3 years ago

Text

Take me home

Hi people! I hope you are all well! Here is a something I've worked on for a while. Uhm, I realise now that I have never posted anything I've written on here before, so I am a little nervouse, ngl. I've been into a horrible writersblock for over a year now and this is the firt piece I've even been able to finish, which also makes me kind of nervouse. Either way, here it is. I hope you'll like it, and if you do, pls let me know.

Wordcount: around 2500.

I haven't really proofread anything, so if there are anything that's a bit off, then I apologise.

Damn it. I lost. Again. Here I am pissed drunk in a bar, far away from home. Or... what's supposed to be my home. Anger, love, confusion, roads that lead nowhere. As to lately, I don't know what has gotten into me. We all know life's a rollercoaster, ups and downs, downs and ups. This time I wasn't prepared. I've hit the ground. Hard. Everything happened so fast.

Almost a year ago I moved from home. It was sudden but necessary. I got into college in London and saw my opportunity to leave my abusive household. For years the mental abuse had just gradually gotten worse. Although I love my parents to bits, it was not a healthy surrounding and I needed a new perspective. I moved into a small apartment a few minutes from my college. The apartment wasn't really luxurious. But what could I expect with rent that cheap. It was alright. For me at least. Soon after the move classes started. The first few days were rough. A lot of new things, new people, new surroundings and I was all alone. You see, I am not a fan of new things. I'd rather be stuck with everything the same than have the winds of change knock everything I know to pieces. That's what I soon noticed. I didn't recognise anything anymore. Everything was to pieces. I've never felt so lost or scared.

After a while, these strange feelings of insecurity and fear decreased a bit. I started seeing people from my classes. We went to lunches, studied, went out on the weekends. For the first time in a long while it felt like my life was starting to get better. I felt alive, not only like I was just existing. I felt normal. I lived in a large city, in a tiny apartment, barely being able to pay rent, eating fish sticks and whatever else cheap food that Tesco happened to sell out, spending all money on weekends clubbing, listening to bands, laughing, getting shitfaced, having the time of my life.

On one of these nights, I met someone. Someone that would change my life drastically, and thank god it was for the better. It was an ordinary weekend. Me and the girls got ready for a night out, as usual. Only this time we were to meet Angela's boyfriend and his friends. Everyone was crazy excited. I tried to be, but as we have stated before, I'm not doing very well with breaking routines or new things, hence my increasing anxiety. To cut the chase, Angela's boyfriend had nice friends. Especially one of them. Brian. I don't really know what drew me to him. He just seemed so calm and safe. Somewhat on my level. The others, Angela, Jessica and Amanda, were all outgoing girls, finding it easy to talk and meet new people, having no trouble being in the centre of attention. I did not enjoy those types of things. I enjoyed letting others being in the centre of attention and them leading the way. I thrive in the shadows of other people and Brian seemed to be the same way. He was the quiet one, the one in the shadows. But he didn't seem shy. He sat comfortably in the booth, a beer in his hand, listening in to the conversations, taking part in them whenever it was needed. He seemed so calm, safe, secure. Something I craved. He was tall, green, welcoming eyes. Angela sat down beside her boyfriend, Roger, a blonde, seemingly handsome guy. Jessica was called over to Freddie, a dark-haired man, seemingly not afraid to stand in the centre of attention, he was very authentic and expressive. At first, I'd say he'd be a bitch, but he was so nice and welcoming. Such a sweetheart. Amanda sat down between Jessica and John and they got carried away with their conversation pretty quickly.

Me being me, trying to read the room, the new people, anxiously stood there, at the end of the table. My anxiety started to peak at this uncomfortable social situation. I had no idea what to do. I froze. The others seemed engulfed in their conversations and bonding and hadn't noticed my uncomfortable state. But Brian did. He seemed to understand and saw my anxiety. It was amazing how he just knew how to deal with it without scaring me off more. He redirected his attention towards where I stood. He calmly called my name. His voice. I've never ever felt more secure. After a few calls, and his hand gracing mine, I zoned in again and once again became aware of my surroundings. His touch. Warm. Soft. Peaceful. "Hey" he said softly, "would you like to sit down?" he asked as he carefully for a second took a hold of my hand, with me not showing any sign of uncomfort, he carefully guided me to sit down beside him, a soft smile gracing his lips. "I'm so sorry for zoning out like that, thank you" I quietly whispered. He once again took a soft hold of my hand, smiling, "Don't apologise, I understand". Something told me he did understand.

And ever since we met that night, at a pub in Kensington, he has made me feel at home. Safe. Comfortable. My pieces were glued together again. Brian was my everything. He still is. The last few months with him has been filled with such happiness and security I never ever thought I'd experience. I love him to bits. He understands me and my needs like no other. He knows how to take care of my anxiety attacks. He knows how to help me relax. He is my rock in a stormy ocean.

Until today. Earlier today, the pieces he glued together, fell apart, again. Today we moved in together. We figured it would help with our economic situation since we were both students. I mean, we love each other so why not. Well. This is why. I am once again falling apart. My pieces are flying away. I couldn't handle one more change. I've broken up with my family, moved away from home, started college, all in the period of 6 months. It was too much. And now this. I love him. But my world has been picked apart once more.

The whole day I've been feeling my anxiety increasing. Usually, Brian notices or I feel comfortable telling him, but this time I noticed how excited he was, I didn't want to hurt him with my bullshit. It's horrible feeling yourself falling apart but not be able to do anything about it. It was 7 pm and Brian was unpacking things in the living room while I sat on the sofa trying not to lose it. He kept talking about how happy he was and how this was a dream of his. How excited he was to share his life with me, to love me. All the while he was so happy babbling away, I was freaking out. To say the least.

My anxiety kept increasing and now I couldn't handle it anymore. I felt my breathing quickening, my hands and legs started to shake and tears started to stream down my eyes. I couldn't do this. What have I done? "Love? What do you think hanging this here?" Brian asked excitedly holding up a poster on the wall. I couldn't breathe. "Love?" Brian asked before he turned around. My knees were up to my chin, hands holding them in place, rocking back and forth, tears streaming down my eyes. Brian was shocked to see me in this state of mind but wasted no time. He hurried up to me on the sofa. He sat down on his knees in front of me, his hands on my cheeks. "Love, look at me" he pleaded with a calm voice. "Love" he said, more firmly this time. "Shh you're okay, love, I got you" he said as I lifted my head to look at him. I was frightened. His beautiful, angelic face that earlier always brought me peace and comfort were now triggering my anxiety. I ran. I ran out of the apartment, down the staircase and out of the building. Before leaving the building I heard Brian calling my name, running after me.

That's where I am right now. I ran to a pub, the pub we met at. I'm drunk. Anger, love, confusion, roads that lead nowhere. As to lately, I don't know what has gotten into me. We all know life's a rollercoaster, ups and downs, downs and ups. This time I wasn't prepared. I've hit the ground. Hard. Everything happened so fast. Wrapped up so consumed by all this confusion. With every thought I down a beer. "Could I get another one pls?" I slurred to the bartender. But no. No way I was going to drink more tonight. I don't know if it was intentional or not to go to the only pub in London where I'm recognisable since we go there all the time. Maybe I wanted to be found. The bartender declined and then went through a doorway to the kitchen. I heard him talking on the phone. He was talking about me. More than that I couldn't recognise and soon after my head hit the table and I was out.

I woke up in a bed. It took some time to locate where I was, but soon I noticed I was in our apartment. My head was killing me along with the anxiety and guilt. What the hell happened. I had no idea.

Soon enough Brian entered the room. I couldn't do anything. I barely dared to look at him. He looked exhausted. And there was something else, it shocked me that I couldn't decipher what it was.

"Hi" he calmly said as he strode to my side of the bed and set down a glass of water and aspirin.

"Hi" I vaguely answered.

The silence took over the room. I barely dared to move but did to take my aspirin and drink some well-needed water. Not letting my eyes of Brian, I watched as his tall body sat down on the side of the bed.

"How are you feeling?" he calmly asked as his hand strode closer to me but he didn't dare to touch me, probably confused by my signals yesterday.

I met him halfway and took a hold of his large and warm hand. As soon as he felt my hand on his he held mine tighter and let out a breath I didn't know he was holding.

"I don't know how to answer that" you answered honestly.

Brian hummed and stroked my hand with his thumb, looking at our locked hands.

"You scared me" he whispered. Tears threatening to leave his eyes.

That hurt.

"I'm so sorry" I panicked and sat up, only to regret it as my head almost pounded you dead. "Ow," I winced as my free hand went to hold my forehead.

"Careful" Brian voiced as calmly as ever. His eyes scanned around the room, trying to muster the courage for what he was to say next. He cleared his throat. "Can we talk about what happened?" he almost whispered, taking my hand in both of his, stroking it with his thumbs.

Of course, he wants to talk about it. There is nothing strange about that. However, I rather not. What am I supposed to say? That I panicked, that his face suddenly made me uneasy? That... I don't know. Suddenly I felt his hand upon my cheek. I must've zoned out.

"hey, it's alright"

I let out a loud sigh, catching Brians attention. "Brian, it is not alright. I'm a mess. What I did wasn't alright." Tears were now streaming down my cheeks. Burning like fire. Brians weight shifted as he crawled onto the bed, laying down behind me, embracing me like never before. His arms around my aching stomach and my arms. His leg over mine. His chin in the crook of my neck, whispering calming sentences while my tears shook my body. His body warming mine. It's always so calming.

How can I be so damn lucky? I ran away from home, from my love, I got piss drunk at a pub, and still, he took me home, taking care of me, holding me, loving me like no other. It's suffocating in the best way.

The tears calmed down. "Brian, I want to come home", I sniffed, crampingly grabbing onto his large, warm hand. "I'm hurting. I'm so lost. Confused. Angry." the tears were now rapidly streaming down my face again as I poured my aching heart out. "I really had to get away from home to live my life, to get better. When I first got here I felt cheated. It was so hard and I've never been worse my whole life. I've never felt more alone, left out, beaten up." I kept rambling on. "I know, love, I know." Brian cooed into my neck, stroking my arm. "But you don't Brian. I can't seem to find my way home. I'm so lost." I said as tears wrecked my body. Brian, holding me, securing me, hushing me, whispering sweet things. "I don't even know how you put up with me. I'm so broken. I came to you with a broken faith, and you gave me more than a hand to hold." The first time I voiced my fear and insecurity about how Brian feel about me. I'm so scared he'll leave me. He's all I've got. "Love, shh, It's ok. Hey, listen to me." he started as he turned me so I could look at him. "I understand that you feel like you're lost, I really do. Everything you've ever known has changed in less than a year. Space will eventually make it better, time will make it heal, and soon enough you won't feel like you're haunted. You won't be lost forever!" He praised as his hand stroked my cheek. Emphasizing the last sentence. I won't be lost forever.

"I'm so scared Brian"

"I know baby" he embraced me, "I know."

"I need you, Brian, don't leave me please, you're all I've got." I cried into his chest.

"Baby I won't. I never could. I love you! I will hold you. I will take you home. I'll be here every step of the way. I'll be your home." He said as my body once more broke down in tears.

I know there must be somewhere better because he always takes me there. Maybe I've found my home. I think he's my home.

#brian may #brian may angst #brian may x reader #brian may imagine #brian may x reader fluff #brian may fluff #take me home

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lumilasi · 3 years ago

Note

I haven't read Reanimate, but I'm curious as to why you grew to hate the original take on it so much, to the point you chose to revamp it? What things did you change then? Most authors I know wouldn't necessarily bother doing such a big rewrite(?) So I'm also curious why you chose to go ahead anyway. I hope my questions aren't bothersome or anything, I'm just curious like said! Keep up the good work!

Ah, I guess it might be a bit unusual for somebody to re-write parts of a fic so much while not completely starting from scratch? Especially fic that is already some years old. (or maybe it does happen commonly, IDK honestly haha)

Well, the main reason why I chose to revamp the second half of the fic instead of maybe rewriting the whole thing, was because the first half was totally fine for me. It was just the league parts I disliked, and the same time I still really loved Reanimate's story as a whole, hence I ended up doing a partial revamp instead of full rewrite. (also I guess I had a lot of time in my hands at the time heh)

(Also that fic was my first ever on the fandom meaning it's nostalgic, and served as an origin story for my favorite bnha oc's, so I wanted to make sure I was happy with it)

But yeah, to go more into detail about why I disliked the league portrayal, as well as what I did with my character in the story (this is gonna be a long explanation so please bear with me lmao) ;

Tomura's portayal felt too much like being stuck in his first impression, when timing vise he should already have matured quite a bit

His interactions with the league, albeit kinda funny, also felt too OOC at this point. He was acting too childish for what I wanted/the point in time the fic takes place at

Basically I felt he was too much of a manchild when at this point in time he's already matured quite a bit in canon (and some more in the fic au given it's timed some years AFTER canonical timeline)

In Kain's case, I kinda got too stuck on his source of inspiration (a horror game villain) and made him too one-dimensional and creepy from what I really wanted to do. He's very stoic and cold yes, but not THAT level of psychotic.

I basically felt Kain needed more nuance and humanity, because including an oc in a fic was ALREADY kind of tricky, so I wanted to make absolutely sure I actually liked what I wrote with them, and that it's of good enough quality to not feel too jarring and out-of-place among the canonical characters. (of course how well I managed to do that is up to the reader)

Kain's original take didn't really work for how I wanted it to affect the civilian Tenko. He was too, well, monstrous/felt nonhuman even as a kid for what I really needed. I needed him to be somebody Tenko could kinda sympathize with/someone who could sympathize with Tenko. My original take kinda failed miserably at that OTL

To go back to Shigaraki, he was also being too harsh/mean to his friends. Basically everything about his portrayal lowkey sucked for me lmao

As for more detail about the changes...well there's too much to describe, but for Tomura and others the biggest change was with their interactions; Tomura is still jumpy and snarky, but less so. Also while his friends do goof around and tease him like in the original, they turn serious as soon as he leaves, discussing and mulling over why he's acting so strange. Tomura also has picked up on the fact he feels "off" in some way, and wonders why he's acting so freaked out all the time/seems to struggle to think straight. (the reason for this is part of the revised plot)

There are two significantly changed scenes in mind though that I could mention, as they have a big impact on the narrative in a way;

First one is the flashback Tenko has about his time kidnapped by Kain's dad. The moment where Kain ends up killing bunch of people working (unwillingly) for his father. In original version Kain kills them on purpose, because their terrified/traumatized thoughts were causing him mental strain. While this latter is still the case, in the new take on the scene Kain does it accidentally, as he loses control of his quirk. This change was highly important IMO, because it shows better why Tenko might've sympathized with him, and tried to convince Kain to come with him and All Might later when Tenko was being rescued. It also better establishes that Kain's not some inhuman evil/creepy horror villain, but more typical origin story for a BNHA villain. Basically what I originally wanted out of his character, but failed to do lmao

Second one is at the end, when the league are taking their leave. This deals more with the foreshadowing for Reclaimed, but basically in the original Tenko gives bad Dabs something to use potentially to take Kain down if he plots something. Given I completely changed my mind about his potential role in the follow-up story later, the new version of the scene has Tenko telling bad Dabs to consider if AFO really has his student's wellbeing in mind. (this will be relevant later in reclaimed as one of the things pushing Dabi to question Tomura about this, and eventually having an effect on Tomura as well, further helping him break free from AFO's mental influence)

Sooo...yeah. I know this is a long-winded explanation, but I couldn't really explain this in simpler terms as the reasoning was quite complicated in a way? I just felt like it could be better with just some minor tweaks, instead of needing to rewrite it completely, and it bothered me too much to not do anything about it lmao. I hope this did satisfy your curiosity about this whole deal and didn't confuse you too much!

(Side note: I probably won't bother doing anything like this with any other fic of mine ever again, the closest I could consider is Soul Duality, but the issue with that is I can't pinpoint exactly what my issue with it is. It just feels like something that has potential and good parts, but ended up kind of messy somehow.)

#sorry this is so long #but like said this was difficult to summarize shortly #answered anon #reanimate verse #my fic au #fic musings #tenko shimura #shiragaki tomura #bnha league of villains #my bnha oc #kain akashiro

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and-the-world-is-quiet-here · 4 years ago

Text

Is it really drowning if you haven't touched the water?

oops I did it again.........

“Nooooo” she howled in frustration.

She was done. She couldn't do it anymore. She grabbed the cards on the table and shoved them onto the floor. They were stupid, she knew they were stupid, and yet she didn't even know what stupid really meant.

“Done!” she screeched

“Done! Done! Done! Done Done!”

“Cass! Cass no, this isn't okay!” Babs yelled after her but she wasn't listening; she just wanted to get out. She grabbed the handle of the door and pulled until it popped out of the frame fleeing into the dark night.

She didn't know where she was going, and she didn't really care. She just needed to get away. They expected too much. It had been only weeks since that man “fixed her” and 2 days since her mother tried to reverse it. Everything was moving so fast. She couldn't catch up. So she ran. She ran until her surroundings were a blur, just a fast moving image flashing past her. Like her thoughts used to be. God, she couldn't even be alone in her own head anymore.

Everywhere she went he followed her, clinging to her and pulling her back down into the water. Or above it as they would say.

The wind hit her face, blasting her tears right back into her eyes, and chilling her nose until she couldn't feel it. That was good. She hated feeling things.

She stopped and climbed up onto a roof, clearing the fire escape in a single bound. She was somewhere in the narrows. She thought. She couldn't be too shure, Babs said it was a part of the city, the wrong part of her mind said it was a small space, and her, the real her, said it was a loud cramped place with short building and lots of crime, And it smelt like falafels. That meaning seemed the rightest to her but the edges of it were sharp now, not smooth, and it made her head hurt to think about it.

She hated it, what he did to her. He took her thoughts and made them make sense to him, and now they were all out of order. Worse, they were just wrong. She wanted it to go back to the way it was before.

She had tried to be happy, happy like they wanted her to be. But it hadn’t worked so she did something else. She tried to fix herself. Meta humans, telepaths, martial artists. No one could read bodies like she had once before, and no one could teach her how to do it again.

Finally, she had turned to her mother, Shiva, a name that had crept in the shadows of her youth watching, watching and waiting. She asked her mother to fix her, and she failed, the woman who had never failed before. She went through days of brutal training for nothing.

It still hurt to think. It hurt to read, to write. He stranded her in a sea of pain and the people she loved cried tears of joy for her newly found normality.

She hated them.

She loved them.

She cried in her sleep and Babs said she was ”adjusting”. She had grabbed batman by the shoulders and yelled and yelled and he...He smiled like this was the best thing that had ever happened to her. Before he would have known she was screaming “FIX ME! FIX ME!”. But now he ignored it, and acted like she was confused.

So she left.

And yet they wouldn't leave her alone.

She turned around and there he was -Batman in all his freaking glory; she could throw up.

“I brought fries!”

He held the bag up and her stomach growled. They had been going through the stupid cards for so long that Babs forgot to get dinner.

She was hungry.

She was getting soft.

She turned back and ignored him, it would be a good lesson in restraint. But he seemed determined to feed her, coming down and sitting right next to her. He spread out fries, milkshakes, and bat burgers between them.

“Babs said you might be hungry”

she snarled and grabbed a packet of fries. Well, when in Rome.

“Babs also said you'd probably be upset”

“mph”

“I know kiddo”

Now she was mad, he didn't know! He just pretended he did! He just pretended that she was frustrated she wasn't getting it but she wasn't! She didn't want to get it!

“NO!” she screeched

“NO! You don't know. You don't know. I hate it.”

She grabbed his hand and pressed it against her head.

“This doesn't make sense! It used to make sense!!”

She released him and fell back onto her but; sitting dangerously close to the edge.

“What did he do to me? Why are you happy he did this to me?”

A million emotions flickered across his face, hurt, anger, fear, despair. All these emotions, all these words, they didn't match! Before she would have known what he was thinking. But now….. now she just couldn't.

“Cass…” His voice broke and her anger wavered

“I just wanted what was best for you, I didn't know you felt this way.” He was sorry.

“Sorry” Her mind whispered

“Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry” But what did it mean?

“I..I..I.. He was right''

She gasped for breath. Desperate to string together sounds as she forgot the meanings of them. ”He was right. My mind was an ocean. It was filled with images, sounds, and smells. And they all liked to blend together. It was messy but it made sense, Batman. Bats, it made so much sense!”

She couldn't breathe. Oh god she couldn't breathe!

“No-Now”

Gasping, gasping for air.

“Now it's wrong. It's wrong and I can't fix it.” There was a pause and then he was moving towards her. Before, she would have been on the other side of the roof already. But now...now she was trapped in a bone crushing hug, feet dangling over the edge of a building, in the most dangerous city in the world.

“What did he do to you Cass?”

He whispered; like if he talked any louder she’d crumble. Frankly, she just might.

“He broke me.”

“He took the waves and made them still, froze them, like ice. Then he shattered them and pieced them back together, but there all wrong! He put them back together wrong!

And he stamped words on them, but the words don't make sense. Before it was all blended together and he couldn't separate them right.”

She took her finger and placed it on his forehead.

“And he didn't know what you and Babs knew, just what just what he thought was right. So what I think something is, and what Babs says it is doesn't match up.”

She paused, but she couldn't stop now. Everything she learned, everything he made her learn was falling out of her mouth.

All the pieces in her head were less sharp and it felt AmaZinG.

“I can't write, I can't read, I don't think correctly, and to speak….to speak….”

She was gasping again and he held her tighter.

“To speak it's like…….”

She thought of when she was a little girl, when things made the most sense and everything was just action and noise. There was a beach in those memories…. A place….maybe it was Nanda Parbat like in the stories Alfred tells her. She played with her father there.

No...Wait….No…

She was shuddering, something was wrong, it wasn't working, the pieces were sharpening and……..

Relief...Relief...She hadn't played with her father. She fought with her father, the thoughts settled in her head and she relaxed...these thoughts, these words they were like….

“To speak, It's like standing on sand. It's not sturdy, it shifts when you walk, and when you run, It tries to swallow you whole.”

Oh she was tired, so tired of trying to run on a ground that wanted to eat her. She wanted to go back to the beach, when she was a child and things seemed so simple.

“Home” she said in a small voice

“I want to go home” he looked at her

“okay kiddo”

She expected to be let go, to be told to walk back home to the clock tower. To the flashcards, and the angry Babs, but that was not the case. As soon as the words left his mouth he gathered her up in his arms, the burgers long forgotten. He took her to the Bat-mobile, leaving her in the backseat meant for scared children, he drove her off into the dark.

She didn't know where to, and she didn't care, she just let the darkness take her.

When she awoke she was in the manor. Tucked under heavy blankets in the biggest bed she had ever seen; Bruce sitting next to her at the bedside. Yellow flames illuminating his face.

She would have been concerned if she was awake, but the emotional turmoil of the past few weeks, the physical exhaustion she experienced with Shiva, the blow out fight with Babs, and the breakdown with Batman had left her exhausted and barely conscious.

“Bats” she croaked out.

She was tired, oh she was so bitterly tired, and the darkness was oh so sweet.

He looked up from his book. His glasses were too far down to be that useful, and they sat crooked on his broken nose. She laughed deliciously, huh, she must have caught something in the cold.

“What's so funny Cass” his deep baritone rumbled so she laughed some more.

“I'm so tired Batmern” he looked troubled

“Then sleep”

“I can't, it hurts.”

“Then let it go Cass, just let go.”

“but what if there's nothing left?

She was scared. So very scared. She couldn't bear the thought of being nothing but a hollow shell.

“Then we'll rebuild Cassie-o”

“Okay”

Her voice was small but it moved mountains. There was force behind it, a strength that came from her whole being.

She tried, she tried to let go, but it hurt terribly, It burned and she could faintly hear someone screaming. She wondered who it was. There was blackness all around her, and silence apart from the screams. It felt like an eternity but it must have been seconds.

She reached out grasping at the sheets, searching for a familiar hand. A cold touch pushed her hair out of her face.

She realized that it wasn't the hand that was cool but her that was hot.

Finally after what felt like years of screaming into darkness a light appeared. It was a beach, one on which a girl played with her father. She tried to swim towards them but the tide pulled her away.…..she wanted too….she wanted to….

A voice whispered in here ear, faint and far away but still clear

“let go Cassandra”

So she did, she let herself be pulled out by the tide. And watched as she was pushed further and further away from the sad little girl, the slippery sand, and the angry man. She let herself wash out to sea, and felt relief when she realized it was over.

This was her ocean, it was still here, she wasn't empty now, her mind had been waiting for her all along. She was free, she was oh so totally free.

Yet she still felt sad, she had let go of the past her father forced upon her. And The future the man made for her.

She was free and she was terribly lost.

She panicked, if she was not the little girl who was she? She had never been someone else before! She was drowning, the waves were huge and pushed her under so she couldn't breathe. She started to tremble and the world flickered.

It was a dark ocean.

It was kind eyes.

It was air leaving her body.

It was a cool touch.

It was a little girl drowning.

It was strong arms.

It was still strong arms!

It was strong arms reaching into the water and fishing her out, breathing life back into her.

It was a voice whispering to her, telling her it was alright, that she could hang on for now. They had all the time in the world.

It was a voice

It was her father.

“You can be a little girl for now Cassie. It's okay. Worry about being strong later.”

She woke up gasping for air hacking up red water- or blood she was coughing up blood.

The fire was dying now, only embers remained, casting a warm glow on the figure holding her. “How long?” she whispered her voice hoarse from screaming.

“Long enough”

“I'm so tired so very tired”

“Then sleep class. I'll be here when you wake up.”

The darkness could come now she was ready for it

“g’night batdad”

“goodnight Cassie”

come check me out on my tumblr! There’s more where this came from!

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theravenclawlover · 5 years ago

Text

Monster

Parings: James “Bucky” Barnes x Reader.

Warnings: +18 Mentions of torture, mature language, future smut, mentions of death, slight depression, mentions of kidnapping.

Word Count: 2,066.

Summary: You are one of the youngest members of the Avengers, and you love it. Out of the blue an impossible mission is assigned to you alongside Natasha Romanoff, and it was sure to change your life. Lies, and betrayal from the closest people in your life; they never told you who you really were.

Chapter Number: 2.

Chapter Tittle: The Mission.

A/N: Hey! I’m back with another update for this series as you can see! I’ve been so busy with life, it’s a little tiring. Who would’ve thought that online courses could be so homework heavy... Nevertheless, I made some time to twink this thing up and some other chapter, so my prediction is that maybe later or tomorrow there’s going to be another chapter up! Thank you for being so patient with me, it means a lot! Now for those who read my Harry Potter fics, I know I still owe you lot a smutty Weasley Twins fic, and I promise I’ll post it by the end of the month or beginnigs of next, I haven’t been able to finish it for some reason. Also, I think I’ll try to start drafting chapters for my “Welcome to the Industry of Porn.” It’s been almost a year since I last updated that one. Okay, I’ll stop! Enjoy my fellow readers!

After getting things ready, Nat and you found yourselves in her car; Natasha on the wheel. She kept on glancing at you, not real expression set but it was kind of annoying you. At first it didn't bother you and didn't really mind it, but it had been an hour since her eyeing had begun, so the annoyance was bound to sprout from you any minute.

"What?" you said a little snappy, it couldn't be ignored any longer. It was just rude to stare.

"What?" echoed Natasha with feigned confusion.

"Why do you keep looking at me like that?" You exclaimed while turning to face her as much as you could with the seatbelt on.

"Like what?" She didn't turn like you had, but you were able to see the change of her expression from your seat, she just gave you a confused look at your words.

"Nat, you haven't stop looking at me! It might sound crazy, but you've looked worried ever since Steve mentioned this "Bucky" person." You couldn't stop from raising your voice a little. She was agitating you and you knew you probably were overreacting at the whole situation.

She let out a sigh before answering, "Y/n, we have been sent to bring the Winter Soldier by no means of force. He has memory problems because HYDRA thought it was a great idea to mess with his brain. So, I'm sorry If I can't take my mind out of it! Also, I'm not looking at you with worry, I was just wondering why you seem so calm." At the last words she'd turned to face you, having reached a red light.

"I never thought that I would witness what I believe is a mini freak out from you. Also, I had my breakdown in my room when we were getting ready. He's scary for what I've read in his report. Remember Washington? Stupid question, of course you do. Dude, I cried when you and Steve were on the run. Trust me, I'm fucking scared, but I'm trying to stay calm. I have a theory that he can smell fear. So, I'm practicing my 'I'm cool with a brainwashed assassin in the room' face," you exclaimed with the tiniest grin on your face. Joking about the matter seem to help with your anxiousness, and the exasperation from before now gone.

"To be honest with you, I'm rather impressed that you look better than I do right now," she said after stopping the car in front of a big old building that looked like it was about to fall, "we're here."

"Shit." It was really happening. All you had to do was peacefully bring a brainwashed dude with you back to the base. Should be easy. Piece of cake, right?

"Let's do this, " said Nat getting out of the car, her façade of tough—not really a façade, she was tough—assassin had 'activated' once more.

You both stepped through the rough looking doors, according to the last report on him, he was in last the floor going up. You were shaking a little when you had finally made your way up. Nat made her way toward the door with quiet steps. Once the two of you were in front of the room neither of you knew what to do next. Do we just knock, or we burst in like the badass women we fucking are? you thought to yourself, a little grin trying to break on your face. You didn't get to dwell on it for too long because Nat had knocked on the door, her face showed the clear regret of that action. She had just acted without thinking of the consequences of her actions—how odd.

There was a noise coming from inside, you could hear hesitant footsteps coming towards the door, you knew he was going to open the door anytime soon, but you didn't know what to do so you just stood there. The movements from inside suddenly stopped, you saw the shadow of someone right in front of the door from its order side. A second later, that someone opened the door, and lord did the sight made you blush.

The door opened to show a shirtless man, long hair covering his face. He looked as if he had just taken a shower, he hadn't been expecting anyone—I mean, who would? The building was mostly empty, except for the homeless that looked for shelter. You knew you were staring but you couldn't remove you gaze from his massive, muscular form, and that glistening arm.

"Good afternoon," said Natasha, breaking the silence. He didn't say anything he just kept looking at both of you trying to figure out who you two were, and most likely wondering why you had disturbed his peace and quiet. After her words, more silence came—awkward silence.

"We are here to help you out, we know who you are," Natasha proceeded to say without introductions. Wrong move. The calm face he'd had was now replace with a cold expression. Before either of you could muster words out, he'd closed the door and hurried back inside.

"Shit! Shouldn't have done that!" Natasha grabbed her gun kicking the door trying to stop him. You did the same thing, grabbed your gun and try to stop him before he disappeared once again. You knew it had been hard to get a hold on a ghost like the Winter Soldier, so you couldn't afford to mess the mission up.

Once inside, he had put out on a shirt and was ready to jump from the window. Nat shouted a 'stop' but he didn't listen, he jumped from the window. You ran to the window to see him landing flawlessly on the ground. Before running off, he turned his head, and you swore he winked your way. Without another glance, he ran and vanished from your view when he took the first turn to the left.

"Crap! The fucker ran away again! He was ready," said an angered Natasha, now standing by your side.

"That was so fast. Who gets dressed that fast?, and that bag must've been packed already," you said looking around for any type of intel you could find. You needed to know where he has heading next, that could help with the foul mood Fury was surely going to be in.

"I don't know, but what I do know is that we are in big trouble when we get back," said Natasha with a sigh escaping her lips. With one quick look around, you gave up and headed back to the car, your murder by your boss awaiting you.

°°°°°

"Sir, he just ran back inside and jumped from the window and disappeared." For the umpteenth time you told what had happened to Fury. When the two of you got to the new secret facility of S.H.I.E.L.D.—or what was left of it—you were to give your mission report to Fury. Steve was there, listening on how bad the mission had gone; he looked worried, but you had a feeling that it was because his friend was in the world off the radar rather than worried about either Nat or you being yelled at by Fury. You felt guilty, Natasha and you had messed up the chance for him to see this 'Bucky,' but at the same time you were slightly annoyed at his uncharacteristic coldness at your failure.

Fury was mad that you two had failed the mission, but he had known that someone like him was no easy target, but that doesn't mean that he let you off without some type of punishment. You knew that S.H.I.E.L.D wasn't the same organization that once was, now it was just a little group left since the incident with HYDRA. Fury told you after he had—somewhat—calm down that Natasha and you were to be in the tracking team. Meaning that you were to sit down in front of a computer until you got wind of him.

You got back to your room but not before spending the rest of the afternoon working for the new coordinates of where he could have run to hide. You opened the door to your room; once in, you kicked your shoes off and walked towards where your bed was, putting your gun and badge on the nightstand. You were exhausted to even remain awake while walking around to get things done. You went to the bathroom to take the most relaxing shower. The warm water felt so good against your tired body and your thoughts ran wild, with no care. At first it was just how bad you had mess up the mission and the guilt that came with that, but then you could only focus on him. Those piercing blue eyes that seem to take you away from reality... You shook your head trying to forget about those eyes, but you found yourself going back to them. They seem to bring you a sense of comfort that you couldn't explain. You quickly finished your shower, trying to rid yourself from thoughts of him. Once out, you grabbed your panties and the biggest, baggiest t-shirt you owned, and with no trouble you fell asleep.

°°°°°

You were in a room that seem too familiar for some reason, there was a glass window in front of you. You walked towards it; it showed another room. Your eyes landed in the person that was in the middle of the room, it was him. He was shirtless inside a capsule, he looked troubled while he slept. There were people waking him up, and when they did, they sat him on a chair not far from the capsule he had been. There were doctors around him with clipboards, and big machines were being situated around the blue-eyed man. You looked around, besides the doctors there were people in green outfits—officers. Then you looked to your other side and saw one of the doctors coming to the room you were in, he walked towards to what looked like a control panel. You saw him pressing some buttons, and the big machines in the other room started moving.

Your eyes moved to find his, he was already staring right at you; he couldn't see you, though, the glass didn't allow it. One of the doctors near him grabbed something and put it in his mouth, him never questioning what. He kept looking straight ahead, you felt as if he could really see you through the glass, it made you shiver unconsciously. One of the doctors now gave a signal towards the glass, and so, the man on your side of the glass pressed one button and the machine got closer to the man sitting on the chair. Before you could guess what was going on, he was screaming. You didn't want to see, your heart ached at the way his eyes shut abruptly, how his knuckles were now white from gripping the chair. You couldn't look away and you weren't even able to flinch at his screams. You didn't know how long it went like that, but all the screaming was soon replaced with a shrilling silence. As soon as he was still, dead-looking, some officers were now helping him up and taking him somewhere else. Everyone started to leave, doctors and officers alike—loud-ish chatter amongst them. There was one person who didn't move, and he was looking at you. The man smiled and made his way towards you, he seemed familiar and nice.

"What you just saw, Y/n, was how we made our best weapon stay emotionless, and strong. That is why he is valuable to us; he doesn't show emotions towards his victims." The man was now kneeling in front of you, "now, honey, we better get you to your room. Tomorrow is going to be another day full of training."

"Yes, sir," you said. Your voice sounded so young, probably less than ten years old. He picked you up, and you wrapped your tiny arms around his neck. It took forever to get to what you guessed was your room. Once inside and you were changed into your pajamas, he helped you get in bed, tucking you in.

"Have sweet dreams, my little princess," said the man that was looking at you with loving eyes.

You gave him a soft, sleepy smile before yawning while muttering softly, "goodnight, papa."

Tag list:

@boredtotearz100 @john-benderr @cnco-ravenclaw-46

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frenchlangdon · 5 years ago

Text

Late Night Louisiana Pt. 7

Summary: It’s late 19th century, Y/N moves to Louisiana to learn more about vampires. But what happens when she finds one likely creature of the night at Porterhollow Cemetery?

LNL Masterlist

Pairing: Vampire!bucky x reader

Warning: brief mention of rape

"About earlier. That kiss. I'm not trying to start anything. I'm— there's— I'm no good at relationships. It would only end up in a mess." I said. I sat down on the chair in my kitchen

It's true, I've had a couple of men along the way, the relationships almost always end in disaster.

And I don't know if it was me or them. It always felt like it was my fault, they were always sure to tell me it was my fault.

"What are you feeling?" He sat down in one of the chairs next to me.

"Confused."

"About what?"

"I really like you. And I want to know more about you. And I want to be your friend, I really do. But I can't be harboring feelings for you. And you can't do the same either. It would just make us miserable."

"So you're saying that you feel the same way, you just don't want to be with me? Is it because of what I am? Is it because I scare you?"

"You are the most kind and gentle man I've ever met. You don't scare me, not one bit. I just think we'd be better off as friends."

"I can't just make them go away. The feelings, I mean. It's not like I can just make them vanish. But if you wish to just be friends, then we shall just be friends."

"We've only known each other for two days, you know." I chuckled, I stare into his eyes.

"You should know I don’t like everybody I meet. I don’t trust just anybody. You’re different, I can sense it. I can connect with very few people and have this feeling like I've known them my whole life, you're one of those people. I feel drawn to you. You're magnificent and kind. And you're very beautiful."

"Will you protect me, Wreck?"

"Of course, Y/N."

"Will you always tell me the truth?"

"Always."

"Will you tell me your name? You’re real name?" He hesitated for a moment.

"You already know it. James. James Buchanan Barnes, but back then friends called me Bucky." A small smile crept up on his lips.

"I should've known! You said it so quickly, I thought you might've known someone with that name or your alias."

"Will you tell me some of the stories you've heard about me?"

"Well no ones knows much about you, the stories are very vague. Most of the towns whores say you've slept with them, took the bandana off when you did the deed, some said you had honey brown eyes and other says emerald green eyes. Said you kept coming back for more." I bit my lip as I tried to hold in laughter.

"That's odious!" He scrunched his face up and physically cringed. "No. I haven't laid with a woman in decades. It's crossed my mind many a nights, but, no. Never. I could never sleep with one of those women. Nothing against who they are, just wouldn't want to catch something."

My eyes widen at the last sentence and he laughed.

"Have you ever laid with a man before?"

My body stiffened at the question, he was blunt and straight to the point. But the question reminded me of something I tried to forget every single day. "Yeah. I have." I looked down to my hands that were resting on the table. I traced shapes on the smooth surface, trying to keep my mind from those formidable memories. "Did I upset you?" He asked. He leaned down trying to look at my face.

"No. Just, I've um, l-laid with one man, uh, it was a terrible experience." I look to the the ground where my feet were. "Did he..."

"Yeah. He did." I whispered. My whole body felt uneasy, saying the words out loud was torture for me.

I had gotten drunk one night and a man took me to his house, against my will. I woke up the next morning and didn’t know what had happened the night before and I was feeling incredibly sore.

As the months went by I remembered certain things, terrible, awful things.

"My darling, I'm sorry. We don't have to carry on with this conversation. I can't imagine how it's affected you." He lays his hand on top of my hand that rests on the table, causing me to flinch.

The only thing I can do is nod, and I barely manage to do that.

"You've shown me such kindness over the past two days. I appreciate that, I truly do. In return, if you would, I'd like to stay with you. To protect you, from the evil of this world. Only if you would allow it. If you wish for me to be gone, then I'll be gone within seconds. I can see a great friendship unfolding if you let me stay."

I stare at him in disbelief, "I'd love for you to stay, I do get lonely here by myself sometimes but wouldn't you get tired of me after awhile?" I chuckled. "I mean you'd get bored for sure, I'm not an interesting gal."

"That's not true. You're very interesting, you can read, not a lot of women around here can read, well back then at least. I don't know about now."

"Well I'm sure there are more women around here that can read. But enough about that! What would you like to do the rest of the day?"

Truth be told, I hate talking about myself or of any subject that involves me, call it an insecurity, but for me I just hate being the topic of discussion.

"Why don't we go back to the lake?" He said.

"Yeah sure! Do you want to go for a swim?"

"I don't have anything to swim in." His brows furrowed and his lips frowned. I can't lie, he looked really cute.

"I'll buy you something." I beamed.

"I can't let you do that." He argued.

I stood up from the chair and walked to the door.

"You need a new set of clothes anyways, you can't wear the same outfit you've worn for the past couple decades." I playfully winked at him. I walked out of the house, he followed behind me.

On the way to the shop, we talked a little bit about everything, the sea, the outlaws he stayed with for a bit. It's so easy talking to him. He doesn't make you feel inferior or anything close like that. Nowadays people are so egotistical if they have a silver spoon. It's truly disgusting.

We make it to the shop and Wanda greets us.

"Y/N! Good evening!" She flashed her beautiful smile. "And who might this be?" She asked.

"This is Bucky, a friend from Texas. He's come down here to live with me."

Bucky walks closer to Wanda and shakes her hand. "Pleasure to meet you, miss." She nodded, her smile widened. "Pleasure to meet you, too, Bucky."

I got a couple outfits for him, he was a very picky shopper, at the end we got him black trousers and a couple tan and white long sleeve shirts. Nothing too fancy, he said.

I packed the new clothes in my leather bag and bid Wanda goodbye, we made our way to the lake.

"Isn't it just beautiful?" I said, we sat down on the sand, I set the bag down in between us. "It is, I've missed the water." He let out a sigh and kept his eyes on the moving water. "Why didn't you ever come down here?"

"I did, every couple a years, I don't know why I stayed in the cemetery for so long. I felt like it was the safest place for me."

"Why is that?"

"Because the dead can't judge you."

"I'll never judge you, y’know." I grabbed his hand intertwining it with mine, I brought the back of his hand up to my lips, gently kissing it.

We sat in silence after that. It was a moment I'll never forget. The sun was setting, the remainder of the sun reflecting off the water, the muffled music from across the street inside the tavern, the sounds of nature.

"You know, this is my favorite time of the day. When everything is winding down. It's so peaceful, and the sun isn't too harsh, it's perfect. I call it late night Louisiana. Has a ring to it, don't it?"

"It sure does, sugar." His lips curved upwards into a smile. His smile. How have I never noticed how perfect it was? His eyes crinkle whenever he smiles. Why is his face so perfect? Maybe being with him wouldn't be such a bad idea...

"Do you want to become human again? Fully human, I mean. With no abilities."

"I'd give anything to be normal again. Anything." He withdrew his hand from mine and looked down to the sand. "Maybe we can visit the voodoo shop tomorrow, they have elixirs in there, we can see what they have. Nobody ever buys their potions and elixirs because of your story."

He shrugged and lifted his head back up to look at me. Sadness deep in his eyes, laced with longing. "What if none of them work?"

"Well, we'll find out once we get there, won't we?"

"I guess."

I hugged his torso, "Let's go to the tavern."

We both get up and dust the sand off of our bodies. I grabbed my bag and we were off to the tavern across the street.

Bucky and I go inside and he orders the both of us a beer. I catch Steve walking past the windows of the tavern. I jump off the bar stool and turn to Bucky, "I have to go outside real quick. I'll be right back." I run out of the tavern and holler for Steve.

He stopped in his tracks and turned around. I walk up to him. "Hey stranger. Did you buy that book, that Stark's Amazing Finds?"

"I did, why?" He raised a brow and crossed his arms over his chest.

"Well I was wanting to show Bucky what a walrus and a seal looked like. I was wondering maybe I could borrow it for a day." He scoffed and looked to the side, he kicked a rock with his boot.

"Why didn't you ever mention him to me?" Steve asked. "I guess I forgot to tell you about him."

"Y/N, we tell each other everything it at least that's what I thought. Why didn't you tell me he was moving in with you?"

"Steve, I just forgot. I'm sorry. Why do you care so much? It's not really a big deal."

"He said you were getting lonely livin all by yourself, why didn't you ask me to move in? I would‘ve."

He stepped closer. "I didn't think you'd want to live with me. You hate it when I talk about vampires. I can only imagine you getting frustrated with me everyday because I'm so focused on finding that damned vampire." I leaned against the outside brick wall of the tavern. I look up to Steve, he was up against the brick wall, staring at the water. The orange glow of the sun shone on his face, his blue eyes were even brighter, if possible.

"I would've learned to deal with it." He said, he turned his body towards me.

Nothing else was said. We were both staring into each other's eyes. He wanted to say something, I could feel it in my bones. “What is it?” I asked.

“I wanted to tell you something. It’s really important.” He started fidgeting, beads of sweat were on his forehead.

“Hey, you can tell me anything. You know that.” I smiled and intertwined our hands together. “Uh... Bruce is coming back into town.”

“Oh...” I let out a shaky breath, my heart was beating out my chest. It felt like somebody had knocked the wind outta me. “Do we know when he’s supposed to be here?”

“Sometime next week.”

“Next week?”

“Yeah, next week.”

“Is he— is he bringing...”

“Yeah. She’s coming too.”

#bucky x reader #bucky au #bucky barnes au #bucky barnes mini series #bucky barnes x reader #vampire!bucky x reader #bucky barnes fic #late night louisiana #vampire!au #vampire!bucky

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paolaofthewatertribe · 5 years ago

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suga - the bet

«bet on me just one more time»

I started to go down the school hallways to my locker. I needed to get some books before the classes began. In that moment, the sound of doors opening could be heard. I turned around and saw him.

Min Yoon Gi. One of the most popular boys at our school. He looked so good as always. I sighed. I had a crush on him for years now, but I knew that he was way out of my league.

I decided to stop looking his way, and started walking to my english class. There I found Taehyung, my best friend. We knew each other since we were neighbors, and literally grew up together.

— Hey darling — he said, hugging me.

— Tae — I smiled at him.

After two long hours of english, we finally had a break. Taehyung and I always used to eat together, but today he was going to eat with Young Mi, his crush and soon-to-be girlfriend. At least I hoped for it.

I decided to go outside so I could have a little peace since the cafeteria was filled with students of all ages. Once there, I sat down a tree and closed my eyes, wanting to rest for a bit.

— Are you sleeping? — a deep voice made me open my eyes. The one and only Min Yoon Gi was looking at me. His mint green hair was falling down his face, and his hands were not leaving his pockets, like always.

— Just resting — I said. He chuckled and I couldn't help but smile —. Do you need something? — I know it sounded a little rude, but we never really talked to each other. Sometimes just a little small talk in class but that was all. So it was obvious that he wanted something.

— Actually, yes. I know we haven't really talked yet, but I would really like to change that — wait, was he flirting with me? —. So I wondered if maybe you'd like to do something together after school.

— Ehm, sure, why not? — I said, trying not to sound too excited.

— Awesome — he said with a little smirk —. What about we meet here?

We talked about what we were going to do and then he left. When I found myself in class again, I was super nervous.

— [y/n], what's wrong? — asked Tae.

— Yoongi asked me out on a date — I said with a big smile on my face.

— What? Are you serious? — I nodded.

— We're going to meet after school.

— Look. I know that you're excited and all that, but I don't know if this is a good idea. I just don't have a good feeling about this, so be careful, okay?

— Where are we going? — my eyes were covered by his hands so I couldn't see anything.

— Just wait and see.

It was our third date already. Both dates before that had been amazing, so I had no idea what could be better than that.

Yoongi suddendly stopped, making me almost trip. But to my luck, he was there, making sure I didn't got hurt.

— Are you ready? — I just nodded, and with that he took his hands out of my face so I could see my surroundings.

I gasped at the beautiful view. I could tell that we were on a mountain, and we could see the ocean from here. The sunset lights were painting the waves, making it look like art. I had never seen something so beautiful in my life.

I turned around to look at Yoongi. He was also admiring the view. His hair, now black, was slightly moving due to the wind. I couldn't help myself so I hugged him. I heard him laugh before he hugged me tight.

— Do you like it?

— I love it.

We pulled away and looked into each other's eyes. The wind made my hair go into my face, which made him laugh. I loved to hear him laugh. He placed that hair strain behind my ear and I could feel him looking at my lips.

He started to get closer and closer. I looked at his lips too, and then at his beautiful dark eyes. As his lips finally touched mine, I felt in heaven. His touch was soft and sweet, like sugar.

My hands moved to his neck, and his to my waist, pulling me closer to him. It was my first kiss, and I was happy that it was with him.

It has been a week since my first kiss with Yoongi. We've been hanging up a lot, but I still don't know what we are. Is he now my boyfriend? We didn't made anything official, and that was all I could think about.

I was laying in my bed while looking at the ceiling, with all those thoughts inside my head. Suddenly, I heard someone knocking on my window. I got up quickly, wondering who could it be at that time of the night.

To my surprise Yoongi was there. I opened the window to let him in since it was very cold outside.

— What are you doing here?

— I've been thinking about something and I think it's time we talk about it - was he going to end things between us? I sat down on my bed and he did the same —. I was wondering if maybe you'd like to make this official. You know, this thing that has been going on between us since almost a month.

I wasn't expecting that. He wanted to make things official. I smiled.

— Are you asking me what I think you're doing? — he laughed, a bit nervous. He looked really cute when he was nervous.

— [y/n], would you be my girlfriend? — and there it was. As an answer, I decided to kiss him. I could feel him smile and that made me happy. I was Min Yoon Gi's girlfriend, finally.

Four months has passed since Yoongi asked me to be his girlfriend and I was the happiest girl alive. I loved spending time with him. Damn, I loved him.

We were at our spot, the place where we shared our first kiss. We were doing a little picnic since the weather was really nice. I stared at him.

He was eating a sandwich while looking at the ocean. His black hair looked a little fluffy, and his dark eyes we're shining thanks to the sun. His whole body was covered by the sunset's light, making him look more handsome. If that was possible.

— Why are you staring at me? — I could see him looking at me with a little smile on his face.

— I love you — that was all I could say at that moment. For a second, he looked surprised, but then he stood up and walked in my direction.

As he was in front me, he pulled me closer to him, kissing me passionately. His own and special way of saying "i love you".

I found myself in Yoongi's bedroom. Today would be the first day we sleep together, as in the same bed, and I was pretty nervous about it. Would it happen? I took a deep breath, forgetting about my thoughts.

Yoongi was now on the bathroom, showering. It was a long day of school, and I was still finishing my homework. Frustrated for not getting the math equation right, I ripped the page and threw it on the trash can.

I wanted to try and solve that stupid equation again when something caught my eye. A piece of paper on the trash can with my name on it. I took it out, made sure I could still hear the shower, and started reading.

the bet

victim: [y/n]

steps:

1. take her out on a date √

2. kiss her √

3. ask her to be your girlfriend √

4. get her to say "i love you" √

5. sleep with her

6. break her heart

I couldn't believe my eyes. Was that some sort of joke? Tears started coming out of my eyes.

All this time together, all these six months, had only been a fucking bet. He was using me. I felt so stupid for not noticing earlier. Taehyung was right this whole time.

I saved the note on my backpack, and when I felt Yoongi came out of the bathroom, I fake-called my mom.

— What?! I'll be there as soon as possible — he looked at me confused —. Something bad happened at home, and I need to go, right now. I'm sorry.

— Don't worry babe, they need you there. Should I drive you home? — why did he have to be such a sweetheart?

— No, I'll just walk there, but thanks — I walked to him and kissed him, "for the last time", I thought. I didn't wanted to admit it but I was going to miss him.

Today was the day. The day I will confront Yoongi about the bet. I tried to act normal towards him the whole weekend, but the truth is I was hurting like hell. I spent day and night crying, with a single question on my mind. Why?

But I needed to be strong. Or at least, look like I was strong. I couldn't let him see that I was heartbroken.

— Yoongi — I said, standing in front of him and his friends, ready to tell him off.

— Hey babe — he smiled and tried to kiss me, but i stopped him. He looked confused.

— You don't have to pretend anymore. I already know about the bet — I showed him the piece of paper with the whole steps on it and his eyes widened —. I can't believe you could do that to me. But that's how life is, right? I should've known it was too good to be true — I sighed, holding back my tears. I had to be strong —. Whatever we had, it's over. And I don't want to see you again.

I turned around and walked towards the exit, feeling the tears run down my face. But the saddest part was when he didn't tried to stop me.

Hours had passed since I ended things with Yoongi. I was sitting on the grass while looking at the ocean. It was past midnight, but I didn't care. I looked at the horizont thinking about our first date, our first kiss... Tears kept falling down my face, but I didn't care.

I was madly in love with him and I still couldn't believe that he did that to me. Was our whole relationship a lie? Has it just been an act? I was mad at him for leading me in, for pretending to fall in love with me. But one part of me didn't wanted to believe that it was over.

I layed on the ground, looking at the stars. They looked so bright. I sighed. Why was love so hard?

— [y/n]? — that voice. I sat and turned around to see Yoongi standing there, right in front of me.

— Fuck off.

— Wow, you really are mad — was he stupid? Of course I was mad! —. Please, just listen to me.

— Are you going to tell me that it wasn't a bet? That it was all a stupid joke? — he sat next to me.

— It was a bet — he looked away —, but...

— Spare it, I don't wanna hear it — I interrupted him while I stand up, ready to go. But he saw my intentions and grabbed my arm, not letting me go.

— No! You're not leaving [y/n]! Please, just let me explain... — I could see how his eyes watered and it broke my heart.

— Okay — he let go of my arm, so I put my hands in the pockets of my jacket.

— At first it was just a bet. I didn't wanted to because I thought it was stupid and useless, but the boys forced me to do it. Our first dates were just an act, I'll admit it. But then I got to know you better, and when we kissed... Damn, that kiss changed everything — his cheeks were turning a little red and I found that really cute —. After that, I started to have strong feelings towards you. Everything that happened after that kiss was different. I did all these things because I wanted to, not because of the bet. You have to believe me — he took a deep breath, came closer to me and held my hand in his —. I love you [y/n]. I am crazy in love with you.

I knew that he was being completely honest with me, so I believed him. And I couldn't be mad with him. He was looking at the ground, scared of staring at my eyes. I squeezed his hand softly, making he stare at me.

— I love you too Yoongi — he hugged me with joy. When he pulled away I could see a big smile on his face. He was really cute. I couldn't help myself so I kissed him.

At the end, the bet was worth it. It brought as two together, and I was so thankful to have a person like Yoongi by my side.

#bts #bts suga #bts jhope #bts namjoon #bts yoongi #bts imagines #bts jimin #bts jin #bts v #bts rm #bts taehyung #bts hoseok #imagine #bts fanfic #bts fic #bangtan #bangtan sonyeondan #kpop #kpop imagines

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