#maybe this is just my imposter syndrome talking

[balanceoflightanddark]

Here's a friendly reminder that Azula got as good as firebending as she did through hard work. Not luck nor eugenics. She was a prodigy and worked her ass off.

Putting aside the fact that I couldn't imagine Ozai allowing his weapon to get lazy, it's a canon fact that she pushes herself for perfection. You don't get that by being lucky. You get that by becoming the best. And it's pretty insulting to try and tear her down, thus rendering all her efforts null and void.

Maybe this is imposter syndrome talking, but Azula should never be seen as second-rate just because she never beat Katara. Nor should her victories be downplayed. She's the third-best firebender in the series, and she should be respected as such.

[valhallavalgrace]

How are you adjusting to the whole Norse mythology situation?

LEO: I’ve mostly been bugging some of the older einherjar, and Hunding, a little bit, to figure this place out. Do you know how cool it is that some people have been here since the industrial revolution?? There's no way that I'm the first of my dad's kids to make it here. I just don't know who to talk to about it.

((Leo's coping mechanism re: Norse mythology is just hating himself more bc of course he doesn't belong in his own afterlife. but he won't admit that to anyone bc he doesn't know who can be vulnerable with.))

prev ask

[galaxywhump]

Welp, it's been almost a month and I'm not sure how to proceed.

I've been in the whump community for over three years, during which I've made both wonderful and bad memories, and recently the latter has started to overshadow the former. I associate a lot of memories with my stories, like what was happening when I posted x chapter, and it's difficult for me to look at my writing and not remember the bad things. Maybe that's the reason why I've also been wondering if continuing my stories is worth it - I haven't given up on them, I'm still really attached to the characters and ideas, but I'm just not sure.

All these doubts and burnout might just be caused by stress as always - I'm still struggling with uni stuff and my mental health - and like I said I have some very fond memories from the community, so I'm not going to make any serious permanent decisions like leaving or abandoning my stories. I just needed to vent, I suppose. And maybe ask for advice.

[hauntedhopeghost]

Yeah...right...

tw: mentions of suicidal ideation, self-harm, imposter syndrome (oh hey look it makes a comeback how nice of you to join), RSD, and just overall brutal self-hatred.

just a vent.

you don’t know when you internalized the fact

that you’ll never be enough. 

maybe it was one day. one day of scolding that went too far. 

maybe it was slowly taken from you, bit by bit. like a chocolate bar cut in pieces. slowly being chewed away.

maybe it you were just born with it. created with the function coded into your head. 

though the last one didn’t make sense. how did people do anything? walking around with their brain saying they didn’t deserve the air they breathed. the space they took up. 

or maybe because you had people around you. who cared. but not enough. 

they clapped politely, without knowing how much it mattered. 

and so as soon as you started to fly, they shot you down. they didn’t want you to fly too close to the sun, after all. we all knew what happens to Icarus. 

but they injured you. they poked so many holes in the wax wings that you plummeted. towards the ocean. 

and you fell. 

so you stopped. you stopped flying for you. 

or maybe you never stopped. maybe you’re only here because they wanted you to. you never chose to be here, after all. you’re just here to make other people happy. 

what else are you worth? besides that? 

but making people happy isn’t working. they got upset at you. they said things that you can’t handle. 

how can you handle everyone else when you can’t handle this from the closest people in your life? how can you be yourself when all you were defined as was to make everyone care about you? 

you’re selfless. you’re so polite. you’re so mature for your age. 

you’re so kind. you’re so hard on yourself.

you’re so lazy. you’re so emotional. you’re such a crybaby. 

you can’t handle growing up if this is how you act with a small critique. you can’t sit here and stay in shock and want to hurl yourself out the window and scratch into arms until you bleed. 

you have work to do. 

but they’ll never understand how much it matters to you. they’ll never understand the spike.

the adrenaline and hop in your step and how the world seemed so much more colorful when someone gave you what you wanted. 

but just like the times when you were young. when you learned to suddenly stop laughing and learned to put a hurt expression on your face. because of all the times you were told your laughter was too loud. that the joke wasn’t even funny but it sounded hysterical to you. like those times. 

you had to be down-to-earth. or else no one would take you seriously. so with every achievement you didn’t need other people’s help to brush or insult them away. you did it yourself. 

you couldn’t take any compliments anymore. any perfect score was taken as luck. people are just complimenting you because they haven’t seen someone better yet. someone replaceable. 

or they were just flat-out lying. that’s a possibility. 

so you long to impress the people more skilled than you. you were taught to look up to them, after all. you long to impress them the same way they impressed you. 

or was it jealousy? were you jealous of them, possibly? you can’t be jealous. you’re supposed to be happy you hypocrite. 

you can’t count how many things that’ll never see the light of day again. how many hobbies you truly enjoyed but were ruined by comparing. or because no one cared enough about it. or how many words you’ve written but spoiled by judgment. 

and years and years of hating yourself.

you were born to hate yourself;  you were born to pretend you had any form of self-love at all. 

the only form of self-love came when you were emotionally exhausted. when you’re so tired you can’t think of anything but of how tired you were. 

you were selfish. though. selfish for thinking you could be the best.  selfish for thinking your ideas had any form of tact at all. 

they were stronger than you, that’s for sure. 

the people who were told they would never make it, and still made it. they’ll never be you. that’s for sure. you’re too sensitive. 

you think you could just get what you want without doing any work? how cute. you think you can make someone happy? when it’s you? when you’re the one trying? 

how…cute. 

you’re still that eight-year-old who hit themselves until their arms were red. you’re still that little kid who cried because “all the other kids have birthday parties! all the other kids have so many friends who don’t leave me!” you’re still that kid who cried after you didn’t win, waiting for reassurance and instead getting hit with the reality train. because you didn’t train enough. because you were seven fucking years old and you were crying in the car while they yelled at you. 

you were nine. you were nine and someone should’ve hugged you afterwards. you were nine and instead people said you weren’t good enough. that you should win first place and that the older kids got almost every single question right and even though you were the best, it was because everyone else was a failure. 

even though you made it further than the people almost twice your age. you still cried in the bathroom because you panicked. you froze up and you don’t deserve any of it. 

reality hit in: you aren’t that gifted kid anymore. you never were.

so none of your achievements were worth it. huh. that’s a shock. 

why don’t you just throw out the few prizes you have? if you had any at all. 

if you can’t make yourself happy: make everyone else happy instead. your mother was always telling you to have a goal set. to have a purpose in life so you wouldn’t try and kill yourself again. 

why can’t you do it? why can’t you just be like everyone else? 

all of the people who said they were impressed, said they liked what you did 

and whatnot. 

all liars. 

big. fat. liars. 

all of them. 

they’ll discover how much of a fraud you are. you're too unskilled to even be breathing air on this earth.

it’s easy to replace someone terrible. there’s people waiting in line already. 

so might as well point out your flaws before anyone bothers to. 

stupid. how stupid. 

[kalloway]

yet again the most basic sketch in the world but turned out weirdly good because I was 'testing' brushes haphazardly again ;_;

why can I not PURPOSEFULLY draw good? lmao /j

been neglecting to work on/develop Valeyna a bit more lately so I guess this is a sketch out of pity in a way jhgjhdf (im sorry bby I will work past this writing block)

[kuuchuuburanko]

idk about u but mortis and I have been with the 'multiple medicine sellers' theory for years lol

[rustbeltbabey]

boo hoo sad pity party posting hours LMAO but I rlly truly don't think I will ever be in another relationship again. I don't feel that I will every b desirable or deserving enough, and I don't feel like I will ever even b seen as a guy n idk. I just don't know.

[caramelmochacrow]

i hate that im so scared of. like. explaining my art now. lol.

also hello hi im awake im not in a bad feeling mood im in a dissect my feelings mood atm.

[ozymoron]

whys it always "wow youre so talented you should make that your career!" and never" wow youre so talented can i suck you er dick?"

[wandapinkay]

I'm very tempted to.. make selfship commissions specifically So far, out of all the commissions I've got over the years, they've been the most fun to work on! I'll probably offer cheaper options so that everyone can afford them (maybe offering them on ko-fi for simplicity's sake) I need some mons now that I'm officially unemployed and an excuse to not work on my cv/portfolio rn :')c

[waywardvagabonds]

Applying to jobs is the worst because I get so hung up on thinking I’m not qualified for anything and then also worrying that if I am qualified and get the job then I will hate it!

[corrodedcoughin]

Just to say!!! Anyone who has sent an ask!!! I swear I have got it and I’m not ignoring you I’m just taking a stupidly long time to answer them but I have them!!! And I’m holding on to them!!! Like a golden retriever with an egg!!!

ALSO ALSO!!! I just wanted to say thank you to everyone on here because it’s such a nice place to be. Anyone that has interacted with me, sent asks, sent a dm, followed, replied to my dms or asks, not blocked me when I’ve gone overboard in the tags, not blocked me because of inane shit posting. Just thank you!! Everyone is genuinely so nice and easy to be around and I don’t think any of you appreciate yourselves enough. I have never been an active member in fandom before and that’s all changed because of how Kind and Funny and Supportive you all are!! And not only that!! You are all so Skilled in your creativity! You can see the fun you are all having with it!! And the friends people are making! I just!!!! Am glad to witness it all so Thank You. And I hope you continue to enjoy yourselves in this community

[sleepyfloor]

bitches when they realize that there’s a lot of smart people at the smart school they decided to go to

[maburp]

I’m in my early 20s so sometimes I forget I don’t live in a vacuum. If I fail here, if I pause here, there is so shame or rush, there are people around me that can help break my fall and I’m so lucky for that. My only job is to explore and figure out what will leave me with a fulfilling life and how my friends and family fit into that.

[hauntedhopeghost]

been debating on what to say for longer than i've expected, going anon for this ( although i mayyy suspect you may already know who i am just by my writing style but- welp! xd ) ; if i say anything even remotely wrong, you are free to ignore this ask /gen

you're enough. i think one big step is learning you don't have to be enough for everyone else because it's impossible to do that. you can't please everyone, you can't not please everyone aswell ; 8 billion people in the world, it's almost destiny that atleast 100 of them will be bothered by your existence, and other 100 will not.

although, it's okay to feel that way. it's okay to feel like you have to please everyone, to feel like you have to make everyone happy, to feel worthless if that's not the case. it's okay and you're allowed to feel that way. you are not to blame for feelings that you cannot control.

i won't say i understand, but as a fellow people-pleaser, i can say that i can atleast get the feeling. and i want you to know that it's okay. feel free to open up, to be vulnerable, to cry, to feel worthless, to feel like you're not good enough, to feel like your entire existence is entitled to only making people happy - you're allowed to feel all of those things and more. that's okay.

embrace those feelings instead of shoving them away, be kind to yourself by allowing yourself to just feel. it's okay.

it's so easy to just say you're worth, but you're not gonna believe me if i say you are. so i ask you to say those things to yourself instead, and the multiple times you feel like that's just luck, or you're being a fraud ; that's when you know you're doing great. that's when you know you are worth much more than what that voice in your head tells you.

your worth as someone is much more than what your acchievements tells you ; accept yourself as someone who is allowed to feel, to mess up, to regret, to cry, to be successful, to be kind to oneself, to feel and be all of those things and more.

that can be quite hard to do, but look how far you've gotten. you're still here, aren't you? easier said than done, i know. and it won't get easy, not even one bit - but, and i mean it genuinely : you got this. you genuinely got this.

not sure what to say anymore, so i'm just gonna say that i'm here if you wanna talk. my dms are open for you , and i will be there to give my support to you just as much as i can.

<- sincerely, a moot.

...

hey. thanks. /gen

I'm surprised that you even bothered to write out the message. it's odd because I had a weird thought of "they'll just ignore it"/"I want someone to notice this."

I'm still here. Yeah. That is something.

(Holy shit you made me cry with this /gen /pos)

I think I've grown relatively desensitized to people caring about me (not because of them, but because I've truly forgotten what it's like to have someone actually comfort you, especially when said person barely knows you.) but I seriously, seriously appreciate people (like you!) that bother to send me messages like this.

it does help make things better. like- seriously.

(still somewhat in shock because why would anyone care about how I'm doing and take time out of their day to write or do anything for my sake?) but I want to say this did make me feel a lot better. not okay, but a lot better. /gen /pos

be kind to yourself. now hang on a minute didn't I write something literally about this-

oh. i guess i'm just not taking my own advice.

[clancyycat]

i was trying to look at my phone but the brightness was too low and i tried to fix it by turning the volume on my music higher and then i was like why isn’t this workinfndgdhsbdv