#maybe this is just my imposter syndrome talking

[balanceoflightanddark]

Here's a friendly reminder that Azula got as good as firebending as she did through hard work. Not luck nor eugenics. She was a prodigy and worked her ass off.

Putting aside the fact that I couldn't imagine Ozai allowing his weapon to get lazy, it's a canon fact that she pushes herself for perfection. You don't get that by being lucky. You get that by becoming the best. And it's pretty insulting to try and tear her down, thus rendering all her efforts null and void.

Maybe this is imposter syndrome talking, but Azula should never be seen as second-rate just because she never beat Katara. Nor should her victories be downplayed. She's the third-best firebender in the series, and she should be respected as such.

[catcze]

slight / soft vent utc ?? idk what to call it lol

ajksds the way I still get so nervous rambling about my yumeships & my oc stuff to my friends ?? ( both on tumblr and not ) 😭 Like even though they're the sweetest ever and I know in my heart that they don't mind, a big part of my me is always so worried that I'm being annoying + they're just tolerating my rambling 😭 So I'm always so nervous and self-conscious like— am i talking to much? Am I taking up too much of their time? Did I repeat myself too much? Maybe I'm annoying them, or maybe they're just too nice to tell me that I'm bothering them >< And I usually just end up cutting myself off and shutting myself up bercause I'm scared I'm being a burden lollllll

[galaxywhump]

Welp, it's been almost a month and I'm not sure how to proceed.

I've been in the whump community for over three years, during which I've made both wonderful and bad memories, and recently the latter has started to overshadow the former. I associate a lot of memories with my stories, like what was happening when I posted x chapter, and it's difficult for me to look at my writing and not remember the bad things. Maybe that's the reason why I've also been wondering if continuing my stories is worth it - I haven't given up on them, I'm still really attached to the characters and ideas, but I'm just not sure.

All these doubts and burnout might just be caused by stress as always - I'm still struggling with uni stuff and my mental health - and like I said I have some very fond memories from the community, so I'm not going to make any serious permanent decisions like leaving or abandoning my stories. I just needed to vent, I suppose. And maybe ask for advice.

[indighostoast]

Yeah...right...

tw: mentions of suicidal ideation, self-harm, imposter syndrome (oh hey look it makes a comeback how nice of you to join), RSD, and just overall brutal self-hatred.

just a vent.

you don’t know when you internalized the fact

that you’ll never be enough. 

maybe it was one day. one day of scolding that went too far. 

maybe it was slowly taken from you, bit by bit. like a chocolate bar cut in pieces. slowly being chewed away.

maybe it you were just born with it. created with the function coded into your head. 

though the last one didn’t make sense. how did people do anything? walking around with their brain saying they didn’t deserve the air they breathed. the space they took up. 

or maybe because you had people around you. who cared. but not enough. 

they clapped politely, without knowing how much it mattered. 

and so as soon as you started to fly, they shot you down. they didn’t want you to fly too close to the sun, after all. we all knew what happens to Icarus. 

but they injured you. they poked so many holes in the wax wings that you plummeted. towards the ocean. 

and you fell. 

so you stopped. you stopped flying for you. 

or maybe you never stopped. maybe you’re only here because they wanted you to. you never chose to be here, after all. you’re just here to make other people happy. 

what else are you worth? besides that? 

but making people happy isn’t working. they got upset at you. they said things that you can’t handle. 

how can you handle everyone else when you can’t handle this from the closest people in your life? how can you be yourself when all you were defined as was to make everyone care about you? 

you’re selfless. you’re so polite. you’re so mature for your age. 

you’re so kind. you’re so hard on yourself.

you’re so lazy. you’re so emotional. you’re such a crybaby. 

you can’t handle growing up if this is how you act with a small critique. you can’t sit here and stay in shock and want to hurl yourself out the window and scratch into arms until you bleed. 

you have work to do. 

but they’ll never understand how much it matters to you. they’ll never understand the spike.

the adrenaline and hop in your step and how the world seemed so much more colorful when someone gave you what you wanted. 

but just like the times when you were young. when you learned to suddenly stop laughing and learned to put a hurt expression on your face. because of all the times you were told your laughter was too loud. that the joke wasn’t even funny but it sounded hysterical to you. like those times. 

you had to be down-to-earth. or else no one would take you seriously. so with every achievement you didn’t need other people’s help to brush or insult them away. you did it yourself. 

you couldn’t take any compliments anymore. any perfect score was taken as luck. people are just complimenting you because they haven’t seen someone better yet. someone replaceable. 

or they were just flat-out lying. that’s a possibility. 

so you long to impress the people more skilled than you. you were taught to look up to them, after all. you long to impress them the same way they impressed you. 

or was it jealousy? were you jealous of them, possibly? you can’t be jealous. you’re supposed to be happy you hypocrite. 

you can’t count how many things that’ll never see the light of day again. how many hobbies you truly enjoyed but were ruined by comparing. or because no one cared enough about it. or how many words you’ve written but spoiled by judgment. 

and years and years of hating yourself.

you were born to hate yourself;  you were born to pretend you had any form of self-love at all. 

the only form of self-love came when you were emotionally exhausted. when you’re so tired you can’t think of anything but of how tired you were. 

you were selfish. though. selfish for thinking you could be the best.  selfish for thinking your ideas had any form of tact at all. 

they were stronger than you, that’s for sure. 

the people who were told they would never make it, and still made it. they’ll never be you. that’s for sure. you’re too sensitive. 

you think you could just get what you want without doing any work? how cute. you think you can make someone happy? when it’s you? when you’re the one trying? 

how…cute. 

you’re still that eight-year-old who hit themselves until their arms were red. you’re still that little kid who cried because “all the other kids have birthday parties! all the other kids have so many friends who don’t leave me!” you’re still that kid who cried after you didn’t win, waiting for reassurance and instead getting hit with the reality train. because you didn’t train enough. because you were seven fucking years old and you were crying in the car while they yelled at you. 

you were nine. you were nine and someone should’ve hugged you afterwards. you were nine and instead people said you weren’t good enough. that you should win first place and that the older kids got almost every single question right and even though you were the best, it was because everyone else was a failure. 

even though you made it further than the people almost twice your age. you still cried in the bathroom because you panicked. you froze up and you don’t deserve any of it. 

reality hit in: you aren’t that gifted kid anymore. you never were.

so none of your achievements were worth it. huh. that’s a shock. 

why don’t you just throw out the few prizes you have? if you had any at all. 

if you can’t make yourself happy: make everyone else happy instead. your mother was always telling you to have a goal set. to have a purpose in life so you wouldn’t try and kill yourself again. 

why can’t you do it? why can’t you just be like everyone else? 

all of the people who said they were impressed, said they liked what you did 

and whatnot. 

all liars. 

big. fat. liars. 

all of them. 

they’ll discover how much of a fraud you are. you're too unskilled to even be breathing air on this earth.

it’s easy to replace someone terrible. there’s people waiting in line already. 

so might as well point out your flaws before anyone bothers to. 

stupid. how stupid. 

[kalloway]

yet again the most basic sketch in the world but turned out weirdly good because I was 'testing' brushes haphazardly again ;_;

why can I not PURPOSEFULLY draw good? lmao /j

been neglecting to work on/develop Valeyna a bit more lately so I guess this is a sketch out of pity in a way jhgjhdf (im sorry bby I will work past this writing block)

[kuuchuuburanko]

idk about u but mortis and I have been with the 'multiple medicine sellers' theory for years lol

[caramelmochacrow]

i hate that im so scared of. like. explaining my art now. lol.

also hello hi im awake im not in a bad feeling mood im in a dissect my feelings mood atm.

[ozymoron]

whys it always "wow youre so talented you should make that your career!" and never" wow youre so talented can i suck you er dick?"

[wandapinkay]

I'm very tempted to.. make selfship commissions specifically So far, out of all the commissions I've got over the years, they've been the most fun to work on! I'll probably offer cheaper options so that everyone can afford them (maybe offering them on ko-fi for simplicity's sake) I need some mons now that I'm officially unemployed and an excuse to not work on my cv/portfolio rn :')c

[waywardvagabonds]

Applying to jobs is the worst because I get so hung up on thinking I’m not qualified for anything and then also worrying that if I am qualified and get the job then I will hate it!

[sleepyfloor]

bitches when they realize that there’s a lot of smart people at the smart school they decided to go to

[clancyycat]

i was trying to look at my phone but the brightness was too low and i tried to fix it by turning the volume on my music higher and then i was like why isn’t this workinfndgdhsbdv

[indighostoast]

been debating on what to say for longer than i've expected, going anon for this ( although i mayyy suspect you may already know who i am just by my writing style but- welp! xd ) ; if i say anything even remotely wrong, you are free to ignore this ask /gen

you're enough. i think one big step is learning you don't have to be enough for everyone else because it's impossible to do that. you can't please everyone, you can't not please everyone aswell ; 8 billion people in the world, it's almost destiny that atleast 100 of them will be bothered by your existence, and other 100 will not.

although, it's okay to feel that way. it's okay to feel like you have to please everyone, to feel like you have to make everyone happy, to feel worthless if that's not the case. it's okay and you're allowed to feel that way. you are not to blame for feelings that you cannot control.

i won't say i understand, but as a fellow people-pleaser, i can say that i can atleast get the feeling. and i want you to know that it's okay. feel free to open up, to be vulnerable, to cry, to feel worthless, to feel like you're not good enough, to feel like your entire existence is entitled to only making people happy - you're allowed to feel all of those things and more. that's okay.

embrace those feelings instead of shoving them away, be kind to yourself by allowing yourself to just feel. it's okay.

it's so easy to just say you're worth, but you're not gonna believe me if i say you are. so i ask you to say those things to yourself instead, and the multiple times you feel like that's just luck, or you're being a fraud ; that's when you know you're doing great. that's when you know you are worth much more than what that voice in your head tells you.

your worth as someone is much more than what your acchievements tells you ; accept yourself as someone who is allowed to feel, to mess up, to regret, to cry, to be successful, to be kind to oneself, to feel and be all of those things and more.

that can be quite hard to do, but look how far you've gotten. you're still here, aren't you? easier said than done, i know. and it won't get easy, not even one bit - but, and i mean it genuinely : you got this. you genuinely got this.

not sure what to say anymore, so i'm just gonna say that i'm here if you wanna talk. my dms are open for you , and i will be there to give my support to you just as much as i can.

<- sincerely, a moot.

...

hey. thanks. /gen

I'm surprised that you even bothered to write out the message. it's odd because I had a weird thought of "they'll just ignore it"/"I want someone to notice this."

I'm still here. Yeah. That is something.

(Holy shit you made me cry with this /gen /pos)

I think I've grown relatively desensitized to people caring about me (not because of them, but because I've truly forgotten what it's like to have someone actually comfort you, especially when said person barely knows you.) but I seriously, seriously appreciate people (like you!) that bother to send me messages like this.

it does help make things better. like- seriously.

(still somewhat in shock because why would anyone care about how I'm doing and take time out of their day to write or do anything for my sake?) but I want to say this did make me feel a lot better. not okay, but a lot better. /gen /pos

be kind to yourself. now hang on a minute didn't I write something literally about this-

oh. i guess i'm just not taking my own advice.

[possumkingluca]

I don't know what my dnd character probably being the sanest member of our party says about the other three but it cannot be good

[the-tarot-witch22]

What people admire/think about you - Pick a pile

Pile 1/ Pile 2/ Pile 3

My Paid Readings | My insta

Liked my blog or readings? Tip me!

Hello everyone ! This is my another pick a pile or pac reading so please be kind and leave comment or reblog, and let me know if it resonated with you!

Note : This is a general reading or collective reading. It may or may not resonate with you. Please take what resonates and leave what doesn't. And it's totally okay if our energies aren't aligned!

How to pick : Take a deep breath and choose a pile which you feel most connected to! You can choose more than one pile, it just means both pile have messages for you!

I worked really hard on this pile please show some love by leaving comments, likes and reblogs!

Pile 1:

(The cards I got for you - page of wands , the tower, four of pentacles and the empress)

Okay so the very first thing i heard for this group is people admire how thoughtful and caring you're, this is admired by many people around you, some of you may have a baby face too, or looks younger than you are, people find you very sexy and attractive , i also heard "a head turner", you come of as confident, even though, if you're not , or don't think of yourself that way, people like that about you, you also seem creative to fellow people around you, your eyes and lips might seem to attract lots of people around you or your lips could be plump without even trying, i see pink lips or nude shade for your lips, anyways your dressing style seems classy or people just like how you dress, how you carry yourself, some people may even think you are a hot-headed person, like misunderstood or form their opinions on you, but trust me when i say some of them are just intimidated, I also feel for some people you guys would have been a victim for false rumour or you just attracted lots of haters or people like that around yourself. I also feel you guys might have people lusted over you, it definitely made you very uncomfortable though, your friendly vibe or nature is also loved by people around you! i also heard "you are lovely", People might also admire your ambition or goal driven nature they find you quite passionate, y'all seem to attract some broken people, or there are some patterns which repeat itself, people find you really nice and comfortable to be around you like just spilling their secrets or pouring their heart out to you. For some of you guys, you might have or had body image issues due to past people in your life , but trust me when i say you guys are gorgeous! Even the vibe here is so attractive~

I feel earth and fire sign energy here especially sagittarius sun!

Pile 2:

(The cards I got for you - eight of swords, five of swords, the sun and the strength)

Okay so the very first thing i feel and heard is you guys are amazing communicators, people love that about you, you try to get your point across to the other person, no matter how nervy you are, but you try not to show this to people around you and they love that about you! Some of you may only talk a lot when you are actually comfortable with the other person, some of you could be introvert or ambivert, when i was doing your reading I also felt a emotional vibe, like you may not show your emotions much but they are there and you are extremely different than world perceive you, some of you might have battles in their own head, imposter syndrome, feeling they are not enough, but what i see and feel is you guys are coming out of that zone , learning to be more confident loving yourself, some people might even be feeling that you're not like before, like they lost you but trust me you have been grown and growing, healing yourself, people like your sharp bone structure or there maybe something sharp about your features pointed nose , but straight and extremely good looking, some of you might get insecure about it, but trust me people love it, people like how competitive you are, or when it's time or you feel like, you don't back down from a challenge, people find your laugh infectious, or love how positive you are despite the situation, people may also like your brave and courageous persona, some of you in this group could be religious or spiritual. You seem like strong to your environment, just like as i said you might not like pity or people thinking you are weak, no matter what. People may also like your hairs, nose too! if I have to give you a word i had say "adaptable". Because that is something i keep hearing~

i feel lots of you here could be libra moon/rising, Leo energy is also here!!

Pile 3:

(The cards I got for you - wheel of fortune, the hanged man, page of wands, justice and the world)

Okay so the very first thing I feel is, your sense of rightness, people love how you stand up for right and wrong, how you stand up to people, people admire that about you a lot, you don't feel the need to people please anymore, in past you could have done so, but not anymore I also feel your confidence and sense of justice is being admired very much, I also feel people admire your way of talking, your sense of dressing a lot, some of you here like dark shades of red or blue, people admire how much you accomplish , not knowing how hard you have work for it but they feel jealousy as well a surge of admiration towards you, people also admire your desire to read, i also feel some of you here could be a big reader or like to read a lot, people also like how nonchalant you are , but in all honesty you can be losing it , there is also some procastinators here but you get the work done, people find that freaking attractive like how can she complete this work/job, whilst she always said its not complete lol, people like your body language, they do wanna be more like you, they find your problem solving quality also very attractive, they also admire how balanced you are how equally you treat people, no matter the hard times you turned out great! "i also heard we are proud of you", they like how comfortable and complete you make people feel. They also like your facial features a lot! Some of you could have foxy eyes here and people find that very sexy and attractive!

I feel here is capricorn, leo/sagittarius and scorpio energy!

Thank you for stopping by! Take care and remember you are loved <3

[adams-angels]

Insecure Adam x reader! like he's insecure about his face because Eve and Lilith abandoned him

Oh this was too fun to write. Insecure boys 😳🥵

💖 Please send me requests! Send me your own headcanons! I will draw! I'm obsessed rn!💖

Imposter syndrome

Adam's a nice enough guy. A bit too cocky for your taste, just straight up vulgar at times. So when he asked you on a date you initially said no thanks. And he took it well or so you thought.

Internally he was freaking the fuck out. He hated rejection. HATED IT. It made him feel small. His chest collapsing in on its self. He quickly hurried away from you. You wouldn't see him for weeks maybe even months.

The next time you saw him is mask was slighty different. The LED brighter, more golden. The horns bigger and pointer. It was a small change but you notice.

"hey, Adam?"

"what's up, sweet tits."

"uh, your mask. Is it new?" You ask with a smile.

He gets a shit eating grin. "Yeah. You noticed?"

"yes, well, I tend to notice things." You replied playfully.

Adam took this as a good sign. You must like his new mask! You must like him! "Soo... What are you doing later?" He checks his nails, not giving you any time to reply. "I know this tight place. Only the best get in... I could... I don't know. Take you? If you want?"

"oh, well, I didn't have anything planned. So.. sure, Adam." His feathers puffed up in delight. "Cool. Pick you up at 8, sugartits." And that was it. You were dating Adam, the first man, the original dick.

You've been dating for about a year. You've gotten to the point of spending most weekends at each others apartments. And you noticed Adam will always have his mask on. He'd walk into the bathroom shower and come back with it on before anything else. He'd wear it during sex. Even to eat! You didn't even understand how that worked. You remember one time coming over and having to wait outside for 5 minutes because he needed his mask on. It was honestly getting annoying. You wanted to see his face. Especially when getting intimate. To feel his real lips on your body. Well, tonight was the night you decided. You were going to ask him to take off his mask.

You were cooking dinner while Adam was sat on your couch watching tv.

"Adam, sweetie... Can I ask you something?"

"sure thing, sugartits." His eyes not leaving the screen.

"why do you always wear that mask?"

His heart dropped, palms immediately went clammy as he shoots you a look. "What? Don't you like it?" You put down the knife you were using to chop up the vegetables for the meal. "no, of course I like it. It's just.." you walk over to the sink to wash your hands. "It would be nice to see you face. Like your real face?" You couldn't see but his hands clenched his robe so tightly his knuckles were turning white.

All he heard was static from then on, thoughts circling his head. What if you laugh at him. What if you leave him. What if you hate him. What if you're so repulsed by him you- "Adam!" You were crouched in front of him. He didn't even notice. "Huh, what?"

"you like.. froze? Are you okay?"

"tsk, yeah. I'm fuckin' Adam. I'm always okay, bitch." He leaned back in the couch putting your his arm over the back of it.

"well, I was talking and you stopped responding.. if you don't want to take your mask off you don't have to." He didn't even know you asked.

"psht, I'm not bothered. If you want me to take my mask off just ask." He rolled his eyes then looked away.

"okay... Can you take off your mask please?"

He froze again, his eyes dart to you."s-seriously?" He scoffed. "Whatever. You want it off you can take it off." You stood up. "Okay." Your hands reached down to his mask, he started pushing himself away, his heart beating rapidly in his chest as your fingers curled under neck. You got up to his jaw before he pulled it back down. "I'M NOT READY! I'M NOT READY! PLEASE!" You snatched your hands away as his gripped onto the horns holding his mask in place. "Adam?"

"I'm not... I can't do it. Please don't take it off..."

"I won't. I promise."

"I'm sorry.." his voice cracked and it broke your heart.

"no, no, don't be. You don't have to be sorry." You put your hand on his knees for reassurance. "When you're ready. Okay?"

"okay.." his wraps his arms around you, pulling you on to his lap. You both just hold each other. Until he's ready.

～⁠♡✧⁠｡ I really hope you enjoyed! I'm not a writer by any means but I appreciate any support I receive so thank you for reading! ｡✧⁠♡～⁠