#maybe this is a very culturally specific perspective to be honest

[untilwereallfree]

I think this is really aggressively encouraged, even here on tumblr. The best thing I can do for anyone is donate, which means the best thing I can do is get a job. But because people need you to donate now, every post is "how can you look away?" Because I know. I know, and I care profoundly, and the best thing I can do is keep myself at 100% job getting. I am distraught. Deeply horrifying things are happening. The only way most people can help is by putting someone's oxygen mask on. But you do need to get your own on first. And performing being horrified is understandable, it's potentially even helpful, but it's not the thing to plan on doing, because it's not the most helpful thing you can do in most cases. Go press the button.

i do think there is a degree to which certain kinds of Instagram activists have convinced themselves that traumatising themselves in solidarity is a useful form of activism. "I'm having nightmares and crying so much I want to be sick because of all these videos of dying children but I can't look away while people are getting hurt" I mean don't you think you'd be able to help more if you weren't having nightmares and crying all the time?? don't you think this is a one-way trip to burnout? don't you think maybe increasing the amount of trauma going around is counterproductive? I dunno bro there's something to be said for bearing witness but there comes a point where you gotta look hard at yourself and go "am I helping, or am I just making myself suffer so I don't feel guilty for not suffering while somebody else is experiencing bad shit"

[system-of-a-feather]

there's a solid chance you've talked about this before and I just missed it, so I'm super sorry if thats the case, but if you feel comfortable discussing it: what are your thoughts on the whole tulpamancy cultural-appropriation debate? i feel like the debate is populated by a disproportionate amount of non-buddhists, so I'd love to hear your thoughts on it as someone who is actually part of the affected group.

have a good one!!

-ray (@rayssyscourse)

Oh I have talked about it A LOT cause its one of the topics I like to think about and examine from different perspectives (and debate within our parts a lot) but I absolutely don't mind being asked about it. Tbh I welcome any like specific questions cause it's a very complex topic imo that I really honestly couldn't do justice in a single post if I wanted to, particularly since my opinions are pretty complicated. I'll link some of the more recent-ish posts we've made on the topic cause it's easier than going into each of them. I often talk about it whenever I have a Thought On The Matter that I feel is worth sharing AND I have the energy to do so.

The short answer is that I honestly think its way too complicated than any straight forward "side" or answer I could simply summarize in anything less than maybe five paragraphs and even then I'd probably do my opinion disservice.

I do take pride in being one of the main runners who started the first relatively recent wave of Tulpacourse like in 2021 or 2022 I think? At that point I hadn't gotten too into Buddhism beyond a cursory ankle dip into it since I found that when I went into it earlier, as much as it was helpful, it fucked with our dissociation a lot so a lot of my views then were built on a reverence but superficial skin deep understanding of Buddhism (which is still much deeper than the average person's understanding of it since even on a skin deep level there is a lot of misunderstandings due to the western mysticism of Buddhism) and mainly charged from my experiences as a POC interacting with white people.

Generally, I do stand slightly on the "if I have to pick a side" opinion of "it is cultural appropriation and people should probably not use it" as I feel a lot of people that want to use the term don't acknowledge and want to consider the complications, history or any of the details to it and with the community as it stands, I don't think there is enough genuine and honest respect to the history of the term "tulpa" and the harm its done and the relationship it has to orientalism / cultural appropriation and what not. So generally speaking, if you made me say "which side to I stand with", I'd probably lean on the "yeah its cultural appropriation and shouldn't be continued" but that's really only on the conditional that - for whatever reason - talking about it and discussing the nuances, intersectionality, history, and present issues / aspects of the term is off the table.

Ideally, I'd honestly really just like to be able to have a not-heated no-judgement no-name-calling no-winning/loosing discussion with people in the tulpamancy community about a number of things and compared and contrast experiences, practices, values, etc of the tulpamancy community against that of Buddhists and ALSO talk about the complicated and problematic history it has and what can be done to better respect the history.

I don't (anymore) think that people HAVE to not use the "tulpa" term and I really don't think its productive to try to make someone not use a term just by saying "stop its bad" or "stop its racist". I think its much more productive to hold a discussion and talk about it and develop a much more developed understanding of the term and it's history and its relation to complex topics.

I do think there is a large racism issue in the tulpamancy community though, but I don't think its fair to dunk an entire practice, concept, and community based on the bad apples, even if the bad apples may be the majority and/or the loudest bunch.

I've been meaning to continue a conversation on the topic with @discourse-by-candlelight but the two of us are awfully cursed with the "we actually find this topic really interesting and important and so we want to be able to dedicate our full attention and mental space to genuinely considering the information provided and responding with my thoughts and thus RARELY have that ideal perfect mental place to reply"

But honestly, I think there's a lot more benfit to talking about the many intersecting and complex topics within tulpacourse than just simply regurgitating and parroting the not-wrong but also not-right "tulpamancy is cultural appropriation". I also think its especially not helpful when people parrot that in a context that is not it's original intent or use it to push an agenda that is not inline with the original values and intent in statement

(that being, the core issue with that statement is that tulpamancy is bad because its built upon orientalism, eastern mysticism, and just white people taking advantage of eastern cultures; therefore people who actively state other things that ALSO harm AAPI / eastern cultures should not be pretending to be an ally to AAPI; for more on this read the third linked post below)

But genuinely its something I have a lot of thoughts on and if you got any specific questions feel free to ask, cause honestly I like talking about this stuff and navigating the complexities of it and I'd really like to see a more nuanced and conversational discussion on the topic of tulpacourse.

Here's a bit of a directory of some recent-ish posts on it from us:

Nuanced Perspectives and Aspects to Consider in the Tulpamancy-Is-Appropriation Debate and My Thoughts

Anon Asking About the Term Thoughtforms

People who say "tulpamancy is cultural appropriation" but then state that plurality is inherently clinical / disordered / only due to trauma are honestly acting more annoyingly white / western than people who do engage and use the term tulpa / tulpamancy (also known as me being a clown and making "one" post about tulpamancy, spoiler it was way more than one post)

General Reflections on Buddhism, Plurality, Final Fusion / Functional Multiplicity

[chiarrara]

Nanami anon here. I really hope they develop Mahoro with these sorts of themes in mind. I can't believe I forgot the princess aspect of Nanami, it's such a big thing in Utena in regards to self delusion and how people end up stuck in gendered social roles. This general perspective is what's keeping me interested in Bucchigiri cuz I can see so much potential for that sort of depth. I'm so glad I could help spark this sort of discussion (it's been sorta hard to find people willing to engage with these kind of interpretations).

Hiiii Nanami anon! I'm so glad you came back!!

Yes I think this story is so interesting even just in the potential it sets up. If it doesn't deliver on that potential it could be disappointing, I guess. but it brings up a lot of interesting discussions either way, so I'm just enjoying where we are right now and the conversations going on in the criminally tiny fandom.

To be completely honest i spent a lot of time arguing with people about the literary worth of this show on another platform and it was just depressing. Nobody wanted to engage deeper than surface level appeal, and only would approach it through an extremely narrow lens of expected tropes of the type of show *they* wanted to watch, and a demand for pandering to one type of fan in a genre it doesn't even really belong to, instead of honestly approaching it for what it is and the story it's trying to tell. I've been trying to curate my experience more so I can actually enjoy myself, and interacting with the small community of people here who actually like to enjoy and analyze the show within the literary conversation it's clearly trying to have has been so much more fulfilling.

ANYWAY, I love what you're bringing up because self-delusion is such a big theme here! and specifically how it interacts with compulsory gender roles!!! Like, Arajin is trying so hard to fulfill compulsory heterosexuality, but is running away from the very masculine coded honor-through-fighting that senya and the general culture value. A lot of people suspect that his pursuit of losing his virginity is a way to make up for his self-perceived weakness and failure to uphold the masculine ideal of honor-through-fighting when he was young.

THEN when MAHORO stands up and displays that ideal, he is able to achieve it (at least for a moment). There's also discussion that if this follows Aladdin, he's going to lose the genie and some point and will have to essentially prove himself as honorable without the genie's help. This could be interesting. We'll see what happens.

So is fighting masculine coded in this show? Or is it just the height of honor? Or is fighting for the right reasons or in the right ways honorable. Because not all the fighting is portrayed as a good thing.... I'm thinking out loud here.

Anyway, Mahoro is also stuck in this gendered role obviously, but I wonder how much self-delusion will play into it. She believed she needed to use her role as a cute girl to stop the fight, but all those attempts failed. Ultimately what worked was dropping the facade, dropping the role & those tactics, and standing up to fuckface (i do not care about this man I'm so sorry lol) as HERSELF. Saying what she really thought, how she really felt about these people and the whole situation. And basically willing to sacrifice her well-being to do so. Ooooh this is so interesting!!!!

I really can't wait to see where this goes, I know I keep saying that but. It's true. I mean, Matakara could be said to have some delusions about honor. Maybe the way he sees his brother is diluted. He believes in Arajin to a fault, but he was proven correct. Although it wasn't him that sparked the change. I dunno, a lot to think about.

I'm so glad I could be an intermediary for this discussion! I don't know anything about Utena, but if y'all do feel free to talk through me lol. I'm loving this.

[tonydaddingham]

LWA: This is just a mini-ask, but I've seen people comment before on Crowley's waiter jacket, and while the lapels are genuinely different from the others, the rest of the look, as far as I can tell, is because Crowley /does not understand how to wear it/. From the way it is draping at the front, he has the hanging loop attached--which you should not do while actually wearing the jacket!--and the sides aren't shorter, but tucked into the cummerbund. Which also, no. I'm pretty sure this is supposed to be a deliberate costuming parallel to Gabriel's own misadventure in suit jackets, where he has neglected to cut open the back vent. Aziraphale and Crowley are more humanized than their employers, but they are still "off."

to be honest with you, LWA, mini/silly asks are very welcome at the moment!!! the details on crowley are really cool, and to my shame i'd never really paid much attention to it!!! it's not so obvious in this post (in fact i don't think the jacket is closed here, there's too big a gap?) but by 'hanging loop', im guessing that you mean this little clasp thing going on here?

(also love the detail of what i think is a FiH knot, as opposed to the other servers, who im guessing are sporting half, maybe full, windsors. iconic)

as for the cummerbund disaster... from the back it definitely looks bunched and bulky, or at least the shirt definitely is (which in itself... yeah, negates the whole point of it - is it even sat in the right place?? looks like it should sit a smidge higher??) but from the bottom right, the cut of the jacket would suggest it's not long enough to be standard length, and the front finishes, and angles up, in a cropped shape at the waist (more like the front of a very high tailcoat cut?)... odd:

edit because ive just looked at this again - it does quite literally seem like it's a tailcoat cut, and he's tucked the tails into the cummerbund? crowley wtf are you doin my love you're an enigma

regardless of the specifics though, crowley in particular dressing just slightly out-of-place is a really cool detail, especially in his historical dress; people always remark on aziraphale's clothing being slightly - or completely- out-of-touch, but crowley in his own manner dresses slightly off as well, absolutely.

slightly unrelated, and took me a hot minute to find it, but this overview of his rome attire is an example of awesome details demonstrating that crowley might not blending in as much as he intended. and bernadette banner's (1:26:45) review of their 1827 dress was really interesting too, indicating that crowley oftentimes dresses 'ahead of the time'. its plausible that crowley would just dress in a way that he thinks is accurate, but from a human's perspective is just completely foreign, and whether his attire just happens to be noticed by the right people, or its another subconscious (demonic?) power-of-influence thing, what seems to be slightly incorrect dress for the exact, specific period suddenly becomes trend-setting fashion.

but then again, we get his nanny costume, which the book chalks that up to him having watched mary poppins; goes to show that sometimes crowley doesn't quite recognise the shift in time period where dress is concerned, and instead takes the pop culture idea of what a nanny would dress like, and runs with it.

i like the thought that gabriel (and maybe all the angels, when they visit earth, to varying degrees) might dress a little strangely/have some faux pas going on, but got to confess - can't spot where gabriel's vent stitches might still be tacked? from what i can see, in s1 he has a double-vented jacket that appears to be open, and then in s2 has a ventless/ double-pleated vent jacket? possibly? (@everyone timestamps most welcome; i was scouring both seasons half asleep at 2am)

seems like he still has them tacked in his coat though which, yeah, is a really amusing detail:

[thedreadvampy]

Midcentury American novels update:

Finished Farenheit 451 on Thursday and it didn't hit me to the degree Catcher in the Rye did but I do completely get the sense of despair and the hunt for something to cling to. Umm also there's an actual nuclear apocalypse in this book which I. Did not know through my general cultural osmosis. And it made a lot of the stuff that initially read a bit as 'you can't say ANYTHING now cause of 50s Woke' less irritating in hindsight, cause the looming presence of nuclear war gives some real crunch to the overall theme of looking away from the discomfort of acknowledging what's wrong. Still not 100% comfortable with 'well we started burning books lest minorities become offended' as a midpoint comment but like I read this when I was 12 or 13 and very much came away with the sense that it was a shallow What If TV But Too Much kind of story that was very pleased with its own intellectualism. and I don't really think that's what it is I think it's a primal scream of WON'T ANYONE DO ANYTHING????? CAUSE I AM TOO SMALL AND TOO STUPID AND TOO COMPLICIT BUT NOBODY ELSE IS MOVING EITHER???? which you know. I can connect with at this time.

anyway then I reread One Flew Over The Cuckoo's Nest yesterday. That one I actually have read as an adult, like 10 years ago, and what I remembered mostly from it was the degree to which either the characters, the author, or both, truly despise women. On reread I don't think that's entirely fair, although it's hard to tell inside one character's very limited and metaphorical perspective - I don't think Ken Kesey hates women, I think that Candy and Sandy are relatively whole people and the other women in the story are avatars of the system abusing the men on the ward, so Chief Brogden sees them as such. Getting over the general 60s misogyny miasma, though, I really really liked it and stayed up very late last night finishing it, I think it has a lot of very coherent things to say about trauma, power and marginalisation and I think it's all a bit Foucault. It's odd that I remembered it as being very het-white-American-male in tone because this time around it felt very interested in how people are artificially marginalised in order to preserve power, and specifically in the violent assimilation of Indigenous communities, so I truly don't know why I went away last time feeling it was so tone-deaf. It's really good, is the thing.

(As a side note, cause Sam's copy is an 80s film tie in copy - there's no fucking way that film is good, right? Cause I actively cannot imagine how you would make a film adaptation of a book that exists so much in one mostly-silent character's head, kind of unmoored from time and moving between reality, metaphor and hallucinations, and with a fairly distant relationship to the literal events, and have it not be shit. Animation could maybe do it and you could potentially do it with a really good effects department to establish early on that this isn't a neutral, literal depiction, but even so it feels like doing this in a visual medium would undercut the fact that most of the book's story involves stuff that isn't really happening on a visual or audible level.

Like about a tenth of the text is Chief Brogden drawing connections, conclusions, describing the emotional and sensory experiences of things like dissociation, anxiety and electrocution, and generally explaining why the things that he and the other patients do that seem random make sense to him. And even with heavy voiceover it seems to me that a) a film would mostly be us watching mental patients act the way we expect mental patients to act, without the insight we get through his eyes, and b) it would inevitably need to be about what a guy McMurphy is, either positively or negatively, which to be entirely honest is kind of not what the book is about even though that's the plot of the book?)

The book isn't about McMurphy, it's about people realising they've not only had their agency taken away, but given it up themselves, and how they react to that and what it would mean to reclaim that. McMurphy's one of several people going through that arc, and he's going through it in an opposite direction to the people around him, but it's not more about him than about Chief Brogden or Billy or Harding or even Nurse Ratched. But I feel like because of how film language works, it would be very hard to make a film of One Flew Over The Cuckoo's Nest where McMurphy wasn't the main character. And he's not. Chief Bromden is the main character as well as the narrator - his life is defined by people collapsing under unbearable pressure and giving up their freedom and agency, which is how his tribe lost their land and how he lost his agency and his power of speech, and watching McMurphy force the people in power to subdue him by force rather than him caving in, the Chief makes actual choices about how he wants to respond to power that don't involve him falling out of reality or becoming invisible. and I think like halfway through I was like 'ehhh don't really get why Kesey went with a specifically Native protagonist' and by the back end of the book it is extremely clear to me why.

Cause his arc has a lot to do with the violence against indigenous communities and while I don't think that the book is primarily a metaphor, per se, because it very much is literally about institutionalisation and the stigmatisation of inconvenient Madness, I do think it's also saying things it wants us to apply to other relationships of power and assimilation, starting with the forced assimilation and land theft of Native Americans, and touching in on class, politics, race and sexuality more generally. Not much on gender, mind - I don't think that it does actually despise women, but it also isn't very interested in interrogating anything about them other than the impacts they have on men, which 🤷‍♀️ 60s innit.

idk I liked it a lot. I liked Farenheit 451 pretty well and better than I expected to, but Catcher and One Flew have both got me in this kind of rambly post-read mode where I'm just turning them over and over in my head to look at them, you know?

[biblicalhorror]

Finally got to what is (I think) the climax of taash's gender storyline last night [SPOILERS]

First, I want to say I think Taash as a character and what they're going through with gender struggles makes a lot of sense. Qunari traditional gender roles vs. Gender roles in Rivain are naturally at odds, so it makes sense that they'd not really feel like they fit neatly into any role. Their nonbinary identity makes sense, particularly with their personality being very "specific labels are confusing, words are not my strong suit, I just wanna be me" kind of attitude. I used to say that they should have come up with some new qunari-specific words for nonbinary, but I think given the broader context of this conversation being not just about gender but also about Taash feeling torn in multiple directions culturally, it made sense for them to use a more nonspecific term like nonbinary, particularly if Rook encourages them to embrace their Rivaini side.

I also liked hearing Shathaan talk about how she essentially had to go against her own "gender role" so to speak, being a scholar rather than a mother under the Qun but still choosing to put Taash's wellbeing above her own by escaping the Qun after giving birth to Taash, presumably instead of handing them over to the tamassrans, because she was worried that Taash would be exploited and raised as a weapon for the Qunari army. I really believed that a scholar would see her infant start to breathe fire and immediately worry about the broader implications re: imperialism and violence. I think that was really interesting insight on her character's values and motivations and gave some new dimension to the gender talk.

Also, I will say that as a nonbinary person myself, this scene felt extremely familiar to me. Shathaan reminds me of my own mother in many ways (she was also definitely meant to be an academic rather than a mother, she cares deeply for her children but shows it through constant criticism and disapproval, she would absolutely refuse a meal I made for her bc it was "too rich" and demand raw vegetables instead) and I'm sure that was the intention here. Because it reminded me so much of my own coming out to my mother, I did feel emotionally invested.

However, that brings me to my main gripe: what I don't get is why Shathaan seems so tied to, let's face it, human ideas of gender and gender roles while also clearly basing her own identity around gender in the Qun. It's been previously established that "men" are soldiers and generals and occasionally spies under the Qun, and "women" are basically everything else, from scholars to mothers to artisans, and while there is generally an assumption placed on you for your assigned gender at birth, genitals are broadly irrelevant to those categories and it is not uncommon for people to switch categories based on aptitude. It's very strict and austere from what we know, but Taash being a "woman" or not seems like it should be mostly irrelevant to a follower of the Qun, especially because Shathaan seems to know that they are a fighter regardless. If anything, she should be confused that Taash isn't a man. It's not like we see her trying to get Taash to pursue "womanhood" under the Qun by honing non-combat skills. I just don't get her angle, and it frankly feels like the writers weren't really thinking about what an authentic perspective would be from this character and they're just kind of copy/pasting a common real-life dynamic between a nonbinary child and their parent onto this conflict instead of really taking the time to reckon with how this perspective would look within this fictional culture. At the same time, they're using these words and phrases to show us that they DO in fact remember established Qunari lore, which honestly took me out of the scene a bit because none of it really follows the same logical path. It confuses me, to be honest.

I still haven't finished the game yet, so maybe I will change my mind again. Who knows!

[transmalewife]

does anyone have any leftist reading on the subject of tourism to recommend? Specifically about how travel for fun, education, sport, friendship or whatever might work in a communist or anarchist or socialist society. Because like yeah, open borders or no borders whatever, cool. But that usually only gets discussed in the context of permanent immigration

Idk I guess I just find it hard to imagine how it could be organized since where I live the most obvious ways capitalism has made things worse over my lifetime have all happened because of and through the lens of tourism. Rents literally doubling over the last five years, while the standard of living falls because apartments are bought, split into tiny pieces and renovated to accomodate a couple days of living at most. The specific kind of gentrification that is NOT being pushed out by richer people moving in permanently, who might cause more expensive shops and services to replace the affordable ones, but do still need the basic necessities everyone does to live. Instead, all hairdressers, repair shops, clothing stores (especially thrift shops), pharmacies, post offices etc etc close and are replaced by luxury boutiques, clubs and stores whre you can only buy snacks, alcohol and microwave meals. Restaurants and bars hiking up prices because most of their clients come from places with stronger currencies etc etc.

At the same time though I believe travel is a crucial part of a fulfilling life for most if not all people. I believe people have the right to see and appreciate the culture and history of other places and also like... maybe go somewhere warmer and lay on the beach sometimes, even if they prefer to live and work somewhere colder. Or go skiing even if they chose to live somewhere warm and without mountains. Or even just like... vacation in a big city if they live in the countryside and vice versa. Or pop over to another continent to visit an online friend maybe. Although obviously intercontinental travel would have to be hugely limited until and unless we find ways to do it that don't destroy our planet.

At the same time some precautions do have to be taken to protect historical and especially sacred sites. Like, I don't think endless crowds should be allowed to trample through historical buildings and also open borders obviously doesn't mean white tourists get to go camping on Uluru. But on some level I do believe everyone who wants to should get to see Venice at least once in their life. But that's probably not feasible so like... who gets to decide? On what merit? Are historians, artists, journalists privileged? Or should it be a lottery?

Also I think there's a significant amount of tourism that would simply die out if going to that place wasn't a status symbol. Like you cannot convince me that if you spend 2 weeks by the pool in an enclosed luxury resort it makes a difference that it's on Hawaii rather than like... in florida. And then theres places like the Hamptons. What the fuck is the point of the Hamptons, other than bragging rights?

Obviously I know none of this is even remotely the main pressing issue to solve about a potential communist society, but then again, that's why I'm asking for reading materials, because it so rarely gets discussed. I mean I bet Marx wrote about it, which, great, point me to the relevant fragments please and I'll have a look but also this is an issue where a modern perspective would be really important. I don't think Marx, for all his wisdom, really has a solution to "what are the ethics of taking an 8 hour flight to visit a tumblr mutual".

Or maybe this whole thing is me being cynical and this is another place where things would sort of just regulate themselves. Anyway. Send me reading recs and let's very unscientifically try to check if it could work. Do try to be honest, like I've been several times as a kid and I would still go again in a heartbeat.

btw the goal of the poll is to get some kind of percentage that can be compared with the world population and how many tourists venice can support per year, though I obviously know tumblr skews mainly american and european

[marciabrady]

For the princess thing: Mulan (I know you have talked about her before but I'll love to know your full thoughts on her :)

Let me say this about Mulan- there are good and bad stans for every character and some characters have SUCH bad fans with the worst takes and, while there are some who are fans of Mulan for the wrong reasons or misunderstand her, those who are genuine fans of Mulan and totally understand her are the BEST fans, genuinely. There's no quotient of understanding Mulan fans that are inserting themselves as her or feel like she's perfect or are appropriating her traits to be cool. The ones who genuinely get it seem to have the deepest understanding and tolerance for other cultures and an incredible empathy. While I think they could've gone further with some of the elements they presented in the movie with her, I do like her as a character. Like, I wish Reflection wasn't cut short but that wasn't her fault? And, again, it was too war focused with not enough women and way too many men for it to ever be a full favorite for me but...again, I do think Mulan is a stunning design and her voice acting is definitely different. I love how the film is obviously made by a Western production company, but it also features non-Western values- how Mulan would've willingly gave herself to an arranged marriage because she puts her family's honor before her own happiness because that's the way some cultures and women are and, honestly, to some people it's noble- I certainly thought it was when Aurora had that same sentiment. I also think it's so refreshing in a sea of writers using female characters rejecting men/marriage to denote they're feminist. It's almost as old as the symbolic corset "I'm trapped in my life!" metaphor. But back to Mulan.

I like Reflection (especially the longer version), I love that she's a non-white princess, I love the era that she came out in (higher production value end of the Disney Renaissance when they had MONEY), and I like how her wit surpasses her athletic nature. I love how loyal she is and how honest she is, in the whole scene where she's talking about the fact that she felt selfish because maybe it wasn't all about saying her Father. Her dynamic with her Father and some of the tension that transpires is interesting and I would love to further pursue it. I love her Grandmother and her mother is just interesting to me too. I used to love her matchmaker dress as a kid because it was long and pink lol but now I actually really love her green look in the beginning! It's very calming and quite becoming to her. While the voice actress did say problematic things about Cinderella, just like Meg's and Belle's and everyone pretty much, I still really like her and her take on the character and she has a valuable insight and perspective into this specific character.

[eruthiawenluin]

should i watch spn be honest

is it worth it

I am not recommending it, strictly speaking, but if you do, watch like… the first 5 seasons, and if you really need more, up to the end of season 7.

As for the rest, it’s a very hit-or-miss cashcow built on canon inconsistencies because of fan service and an extreme bias in Dean’s favor. And, I cannot stress this enough, the majority of the late seasons writers didn’t even watch the entire show. There’s actually a line in early season 13 where Sam says that Dean chose to “help” him when he was “evil” rather than leave him for dead. This is literally the exact opposite of what happened, but it got twisted into Dean saving him because of confirmation bias. And if you saw the infamous scene from 15x18, it’s pretty clear that Dean does not really reflect the things that Cas says. But, again, fan service.

By extension, if you do watch, stay far away from the fandom.

Going to talk about the bigotry of the show below the cut here (tw for talk of racism, misogyny, homophobia, and abuse apologia).

The show is a MotW format, but they appropriate a lot from indigenous cultures when they should and could just take from general folklore (see the title of 1x02 for example… and the awfulness of 1x08). It also features a lot of copaganda. I’ve noticed a pattern where half the time, antagonist cops are black men while protagonist cops are white women, which goes hand in hand with some of their villain choices…

On top of that, Dean has an Asian fetish (this is a consistent joke of the writers spanning as far as season 3 to season 14, from what I’ve seen) and subscribes to a magazine called “Busty Asian Beauties.” There is an episode in season 13 where he raises a gun to a young woc in an episode that specifically highlights how she is affected by racism, and then she gets fridged for her white woman love interest the next episode…

Sam is the more progressive one (he’s meant to be the liberal to Dean’s conservative) but in earlier seasons at least he’s a very lukewarm liberal. He gets some explicit character development on the bad points here (such as how he views prison) but the show never really moves on from the copaganda in general. If anything, it actually leans into it more with time. One of the protagonist cops absolutely abuses her power over a man in her custody and is still justified by the narrative even though the guy ends up proven innocent. All in the name of being a girlboss ig?

They tried for a Feminist spin-off (about two cops who adopt some wayward girls), but the series is actually deeply misogynistic. This is obvious from the get-go. Dean’s introduction to the show as an adult is him making Sam’s girlfriend uncomfortable because she’s underdressed, for example. He actually only gets worse, as he goes on to show a consistent interest in minors, have him be a peeping tom (even as late as season 11), and call every woman antagonist gendered slurs.

It’s been said on repeat “Hey, maybe don’t headcanon a sexual predator as queer…” and responses to that have varied from “No, he’s not a sexual predator” to “He is a sexual predator but queer men need to be represented as predators!” He’s painfully heterosexual though and any jokes people take out of context to suggest otherwise are just playing on the fact that he’s hetero so him having “feminine interests” (such as soap operas) would be “funny.” All of this is especially ironic when you consider that Sam was more or less confirmed MLM in s4 (barely past the censors) but is considered “the straight one” by fans.

They also brought a dead woman character back from the dead to give as a “gift” to Dean and show zero perspective on how she feels being literally objectified in this way. She is then expected to parent these two men she does not know. Wild.

Dean is predictably homophobic as well (though it doesn’t show up in explicit terms as often as his misogyny+racism) but fans either don’t acknowledge this or call it overcompensation.

And if I went into the topic of Dean’s abuse, we’d be here all day, but it’s an endless stream of abuse apologia from start to finish, from how John abuses his children to how Dean abuses Sam and Cas, even to people torturing Sam.

So, yeah, watch to your own detriment. The characters obviously inspire a lot from people, but the entire series is a wreck.

[abbyindenhaag]

Arts and Architecture

On Wednesday morning we visited the Museum of Sydney, a small building on the site of the original governor’s house that taught us a lot about the city’s origins. Much of it echoes Euro-Indigenous conflicts with which I was already familiar, but it was interesting to learn about specifics. The first governor, Arthur Phillip, showed a somewhat admirable inclination to learn about the indigenous peoples’ perspectives, but when they (the Gadigal people) decided they wanted little to do with the English and started avoiding them, Phillip decided to implement his initiative by kidnapping two men and holding them hostage in his house while trying to get them to interpret their language and culture. And then he was shocked when one of the hostages, Bennelong, who had been charming and cooperative, escaped as soon as they removed the shackle from his leg. (Pikachu face) who could have predicted?! For Bart the history provoked questions of what the most ethical version of first contact would have looked like, given that leaving the first Australians in isolation would have left them without the benefits of trade, but also that it might be impossible to ethically organize trade arrangements with a people that had completely different concepts of ownership, territory, institutions in general, etc. And that’s also setting aside the whole inevitable devastation of smallpox thing. Should the British have just established a barricade around the entire island to prevent any European from bringing the disease? What a different world that would have been.

Another part of the museum had an exhibition of artwork supported by the Coomaditchie center, which was a center for Indigenous culture established during the (relatively late) efforts at Indigenous policy reform in the 1960s. I really enjoyed these artworks in particular:

First painting: Black Swan, by Allison Day

Second painting: Our Fish II, by Allison Day and Dereke Brown

The dots and lines style is so cool, and I love the earth-toned color palettes.

Our next cultural experience, in some ways at the opposite end of the establishment spectrum, was an evening at the Sydney Opera House. We went to a performance of “great opera hits”, which was not necessarily the first choice for either of us but was better than all the alternative performances that were on (a Cinderella opera and a Beatles tribute show………. Oof.) There were a couple of arias we really enjoyed — the Habanera from Carmen, which also features (instrumentally) in Up, and E lucevan le stelle from Tosca, which had really beautiful imagery in addition to the lovely voice of the tenor who sang it. I also enjoyed the “Flower Duet”. But overall, I think most opera is not for me — some combination of what feels like a lack of momentum in the music, plus I find the high dramatic soprano notes kind of uncomfortable to listen to. But! I expanded my cultural touchpoints, and I also got to be inside the Opera House, which was super cool.

To be honest, my first impression walking into the building, which you do from the ground floor level, was: this feels like the DC metro. Lots of concrete, maybe some uplighting. But you go upstairs into the area around the concert hall, and it becomes incredibly airy. This was extra special in the gloaming just before sunset.

Two obligatory “we’re alive and really here and not kidnapped” photos in front of the view follow:

On Thursday morning we visited the White Rabbit gallery, a free museum of contemporary Chinese art. Also very small, it was the right size for an hourlong visit. Many of the art pieces did not speak to me, but there was one that delighted us both and, according to Bart, made the whole trip worth it on its own. Big words. Let me explain.

You take an elevator to the 3rd floor and step out into a room full of trash cans. Comme ca:

Actually, their lids were closed when we arrived. The docent says to you: “We’re almost ready to have them play automatically.” You think: oh, must be pretty fiddly that they are still working on whatever it is, but I suppose we’ll get to see it happen manually. Then she says: “The performance is about to begin.”

The trash can lids all open up and you can hear an orchestra tuning up. There’s one instrument per trash can. The lids close. After a moment, they open again, and you hear the opening notes of Beethoven’s 5th. Dah dah dah DAHH. Oh. Wow.

After the performance, the lids close. We have to let the trash cans rest for two minutes, but then we can wander through them and open each lid at will. When you open it, you hear the particular instrument assigned to the can as they play through the piece again — clarinet, violin, cello, oboe, bass. Trumpets, too, if you’re lucky. There was a map to show you which instrument was where, which allowed me to find the one (!) viola. It was so fun to walk through and feel like you were enabling the performance by letting an instrument’s voice be heard. Also, what a great piece.

Bart and I had only two constructive suggestions (ha, arrogant, I know). First, we thought it would be cool in the automated performance part for each lid to open only when the instrument was playing. Second, Bart thought it would be fun in the interactive portion for the viewers to modulate the volume with how far open the lid was. But overall, a total delight. (And it checked Bart’s box for unexpected good music, which is all he really wants in a vacation. Oh, and good tea, but we got that at the tearoom downstairs.) The artist’s name was Shyu Ruey-Shiann, I think, and the orchestra was the Taiwanese symphony orchestra, again, I think, because unfortunately I forgot to take a photo of the wall label.

The other piece I liked in the museum was an autobiographical series by Yu Hong, which depicted a number of self-portraits at different ages reflecting the artist’s growth in parallel with the tectonic changes in China over her lifetime. This is the closing pair of paintings:

We walked back through a fun university-ish neighborhood — look at the greenery!

and we saw this fun street sculpture:

And that was another day and a half in Sydney. This afternoon (in about 10 minutes) we are heading out to the zoo with friends who are also in town for the wedding. I am a little concerned it will be somewhat depressing, as my last zoo visit was, but you can’t go to Australia and *not* see a koala or a kangaroo, so here we go!

[orionsangel86]

So I've had quite a bit of time now to absorb the above take and consider all perspectives on this and whilst I can understand where OP is coming from on their specific perspective, I think OP is fundamentally wrong on a few points. I get that not everyone on the internet that day was an avid Supernatural fan/Destiel shipper and I get that the state of the world and the political climate (specifically in America) were particularly dire at that point and so I can see why you would want to reduce the importance of SPN/Destiel's role in the hysteria, but the truth is that regardless of everything else, Destiel going canon very much was the fuse that blew everything else up, and nothing else would have had even remotely the same impact.

Let me attempt to explain why.

Under a cut because obviously this isn't a quick and simple thing to explain so only click read more if you genuinely want to understand this whole insane mess.

Now bearing in mind I am not American, even I can admit that on a global scale the US elections this time around were tense - Trump turned your country into a global laughing stock on one hand, and quite a concerning dangerous liability on the other. The rest of the world was very much watching on with baited breath to see how the election would turn out. But I think we should stress that the Election took place several days before November 5th. Yes, the results this time around were taking a while to be revealled, building up the tension and anticipation, but regardless, had Destiel not come along and caused mass hysteria the Election would not have had such a huge impact on pop culture at the time. It would have still been iconic and pivotal of course, but it in no way would have caused the same insanity everywhere on the internet for the following week.

OP states that any inane fandom drama could have had the same effect. That any other fandom ship going canon could have given the same outcome. This is where OP and I fundamentally disagree. OP actually already contradicts themselves when they state "except that Supernatural was a thing everyone knew basic things about from dashboard osmosis"

Because here is the thing. I have been on tumblr nearly a decade, and I have certainly learnt a lot through dashboard osmosis. I knew about Superwholock, and Hannibal, and Spirk of course, but nothing holds a candle to Supernatural and the Supernatural Fandom for size, consistency, and dedication to shit posting. There is a reason SPN fandom became infamous back in the days for "we have a gif for that". There is a reason why Destiel holds the top spot for most fanfictions on AO3. There is a reason tumblr groans every April 1st as someone inevitably tries to recreate the mishapocalypse.

If it had been Spirk going canon somehow, sure, the internet would have celebrated. They probably would have done it in some reasonably well written respectable way. Old Spirk fans would surely have come out to cheer it on. The internet would have laughed about the timing sure, maybe we all would have trolled that old bastard William Shatner until he finally deleted his Twitter (if only). Spirk would have probably trended (though perhaps not over the election), but the likelihood of anyone outside of Star Trek fans going mad and joining in on the hysterical shit posting hilarity of that night and the following days is probably quite slim. I think the same can be said for most ships. Because lets be honest now, most ships aren't Destiel.

Now I'm not saying this in a smug "my ship is better than your ship" way at all. Because the Destiel impact is absolutely not about that. What you have to understand is the very specific very hostile relationship that Supernatural Fandom has with the Supernatural Creators which is very much unique to Supernatural and was very much responsible for the hysteria that night. (yes we can argue Sherlock creators were also hostile towards the fandom but I promise you with every fibre of my being as someone who experienced both shows and fandoms in real time they were NOT the SAME.)

Supernatural was a 15 year long reign of terror on its fandom. It was 15 years of queerbaiting that somehow became genuine queer coding once the showrunners had changed hands enough times, yet still consisted of an internal struggle among its creators who were half very supportive of the ship and half absolutely adamantly against it due to either a genuine dislike of SPN even remotely stepping away from a brother-centric narrative, or just run of the mill homophobia. It was a ship that was built upon consistently without long hiatus's over a 12 year period (which is an extremely long time in internet time) and its fanbase at its height was most definitely among the biggest on the internet.

It is because of this very particular relationship that SPN has with its fanbase, that has lead to SPN fandom over the past 15 years being pretty fucking hilarious in its self deprecation, humour style, and its own antagonism towards the show. There are genuinely people on tumblr who claim to be part of the "SPN fandom fandom" who don't care about the show but follow the tags and bigger bloggers simply for how fucking hilarious the fandom has become through 15 years of experience in dealing with this absolute dumpster fire show and its ridiculous real life dramas. I cannot express enough how unique SPN fandom is in this regard. The fact is, if you were part of SPN fandom at any point, you would have picked up this particular style of humorous blogging and even if people left the fandom over the years, that particular experience never would have left them. No other fandom could have pulled of the mishapocalypse (to this day still probably the best April Fools joke in internet history) and you betcha that SPN fandom was pivotal in getting Goncharov to have as big an impact as it did. You may consider modern tumblrs sense of humour to be just a tumblr thing, but I guarantee it would not be the way it is without SPN fandom laying the foundations all those years ago. Calling Tumblr "The Destiel Website" is not actually hyperbole. It's fact. Destiel and SPN were unique in building the foundations on what we now consider pretty standard tumblr culture.

So on that note, You have a fandom that has "sleeper agents" all over the world all sporting the same "trauma" about this show and years of experience in excellent shitposting on the internet, you have a show which has basically been playing Schrodingers Ship with its fanbase for at least the past 3 years. Most people who had a tumblr blog during the height of the SuperWhoLock era are aware of Destiel and how insane it was, even if they never really had any interest in it (if only thanks to their posts being hijacked by a SPN gif). Even if it were a regular day - no US elections, no covid19, no horrible real world traumatic events dominating the trending topics on Twitter - Destiel going canon would have still caused absolutely insanity online unlike any other fandom ship could have caused. I guarantee it. Not just because of Destiel being a very long running popular ship, but because of the way it happened. Because no other show would have done it like that. No other show would have had one of the lead characters confess their gay love for the other lead character seemingly out of the blue (it wasn't, but only if you really pay attention to subtext) and then immediately die whilst the other lead character has barely any reaction and doesn't respond (he does have a reaction, but unless you are very clued in on Jackles micro-expressions its not gonna register).

No other show would have made a queer ship go canon in such a ridiculous way that was so perfectly primed for tumblr style shitposting (tumblr style being SPN fandom style originally anyway). So of course, even if there hadn't been historic world events happening, it would have been an absolutely insane night on the internet. The fact that it DID happen in the midsts of several historic world events only added fuel to the fire and created a perfect storm of hilarious memes and chaos and caused Destiel to trend over the US election - leading serious political journalists to scratch their heads and wonder what the fuck was happening.

It wasn't the US election that lead to the insanity of November 5th 2020. It was Destiel. Destiel was the fuse, the US election was just fuel being added to the fire. Everything else - the Sherlock S5 rumours, the Putin stepping down rumours, the revelations in certain Manga and Anime fandoms - none of that would have even been a blip on the wider internets radar were it not for Destiel and SPN fans (both current and former) going nuts with the memes, spreading rumours and world news like wildfire across the internet, all because of their glee over Destiel going canon in typical SPN style - being the most ridiculous and frankly hilarious way possible.

The reason we have the Destiel news meme, and the reason why it continues to be one of the most popular meme formats next to distracted boyfriend, is because Destiel fans were spreading the chaotic news about the election and other weirder news globally on that night and throughout the following week. Because whilst OP calls the Destiel part inane, and irrelevant in the grander scheme of what went down that night, the truth is that no other insane fandom news would have had even a fraction of the impact that Destiel did. Because no other fandom has the same batshit crazy history and build up that Destiel did. No not even Spirk. Spirk may have a longer history, but it doesn't have anywhere near the consistency Destiel had. No other fandom would have been able to carry all of that hysteria and spread it like a virus across the internet the way SPN fans did.

If Destiel hadn't happened, November 5th 2020 would have been nothing more than another night during an intense election in America, and the rest of the world would have simply forgotten shortly after - with the exception being the UK who continue their disturbing tradition of burning an effigy of a traitor who tried to blow up a tyrranical government 400 years ago on a bonfire on this particular night each year and created the very apt poem "remember remember the fifth of November" for it, which is easily co-opted by SPN fandom now. No other fandom news would have had the same impact on internet history. No other fandom could have turned this into an annual Tumblr holiday. No other fandom is quite as insane as SPN fandom nor as devoted to shitposting and irritating the fuck out of anyone not in SPN fandom in order to pull this off.

If it had been anything else, it wouldn't be the same. If it had been anything else, OP certainly wouldn't be writing about it now, because the anniversary celebrations wouldn't have irritated them enough to complain about Destiel in a tumblr post - because no other fandom is quite as annoying as SPN fandom enough to make random people want to revise the history and erase that which annoys them. No other fandom does it like them. I say this from experience.

So whilst anyone not interested in SPN and Destiel are more than welcome to blacklist the tags, block the bloggers, and try as hard as they can to ignore the truth of what happened that night just over 3 years ago, don't you dare try to pretend that it wasn't the very specific trigger of Destiel going canon that caused that hysteria - a global hysteria mind you, not an America-centric hysteria. Because whilst OP tries to make out that November 5th was primarily about the US election, Destiel was a global event, or at least, a Western World event with people joining in the hysteria all across Europe and even as far as Australia and New Zealand (and Destiel has a huuuuge fanbase in South America as well). We don't rewrite history in these parts. we embrace it, even if it is really fucking annoying.

People who try to analyze what happened on Tumblr on November 5th, 2020, often really overstate how much it was actually “about” Supernatural. As someone who has never been in the supernatural fandom ever but dID join in on the hysterical destielposting—it was really more about the stress of the pandemic and the 2020 presidential election.

The two biggest Youtubers I’ve seen try to dissect “what happened that November 5th” in video essays both weren’t American—- and I think that explains why they both tried to explain the hysteria primarily via analyzing the Supernatural fandom/the original show, rather than through the lens of the election. And while those videos are cool, valid, informational, and make lots of really well-considered interesting points— I can tell you that me and almost all my mutuals had literally no knowledge or interest in the fact that “oh supernatural had made nods at the ship in the past but the creators were adamant that I wouldn’t be canon” or etc etc etc etc. the first time I learned about any of that context was way later, watching videos where people claimed that fandom history context (that I did not know anything about) was the actual reason for the hysteria.

But the reality is that people latched on to the Destiel stuff because it was a piece of big useless inane zero-stakes fandom news in a time when we were desperately waiting for serious high stakes election news. We were latching onto a “positive “ piece of inane stupid fandom news in a time of great stress, with all the desperation of a drowning man who latches onto whatever piece of wood will keep him afloat.

The core of the hysteria was that Americans (who make up a huge chunk of tumblr’s userbase) were currently glued to their laptops watching the live presidential election vote counts come in. These vote counts were taking an extended amount of time due to the pandemic causing high numbers of mail-in ballots, resulting in a constant state of Election Day Stress for multiple days straight.

This was also during the height of the Pandemic. People had predicted Trump’s presidency would be bad; no one had predicted it would be this apocalyptically bad. No one had predicted pandemics and lockdowns and hospitals overflowing with bodybags. remember Trump spreading Covid lies and conspiracies?? There were so many Qanon conspiracies about democrats being Satanic child traffickers who had to be put to death, and coup threats were mounting from the right wing side. It seemed like this election was a choice between ‘centrist democrat’ and “apocalyptic right wing conspiracy theory authoritarianism,” in the midst of pandemic conditions that people feared would never ever improve— and it seemed like a close election.

Another major point was that Trump voters were more likely to be antimaskers/Covid deniers, while Biden voters were more likely to take the pandemic seriously— so Biden voters were more likely to send in mail-in ballots instead of risking the in-person voting crowds, which meant their ballots would take much longer to count. And so, in many state electoral vote counts, it would initially seem like Trump was very far in the lead— only for Biden to slooooowly build up an agonizingly small lead as the mail in ballots came in, and then defeat Trump at the very end.

So you’re just watching these news sites giving live election updates, refreshing the page every 2 minutes to see if you’re going to live under a spineless centrist democrat or a literal Qanon Dictatorship. And then you go on tumblr to distract yourself, and there’s more election posting, and more agonizing over the votes, and more stress and despair—-

And then it’s been days and we’re right at the crucial tipping point where it’s anyone’s game and the next few hours will determine whether Trump will win, so you need to keep your eye on the vote count, because the next hours will determine the future of the pandemic and your country and your plans for your entire life—

And then stupid Destiel becomes canon! And it becomes canon in the silliest way possible!

If Destiel had become canon at any other time, it would have been a big goofy tumblr celebration? But we wouldn’t have gotten the insane explosion of hysterical interaction.

The entire core of it was the contrast between the inane meaningless stupidity of fandom news vs the actual stressful election news you wanted to hear! It really is best conveyed in that meme where Castiel says “I love you” and Dean indifferently responds with a piece of important election news.

It’s about the contrast between the low-stakes inanity of fandom and the massive life-destroying stakes of a terrifying election. There really was no reason it had be Supernatural specifically, except that Supernatural was a thing everyone knew basic things about from dashboard osmosis— it could’ve been any other equally huge silly fandom ship news about a ship everyone *knew of* but might not necessarily be invested in (ex. Stucky becoming canon, Johnlock becoming canon, Kirk/Spock becoming more canon somehow, etc etc etc.)

I think it’s true that people who weren’t paying agonizingly close attention to the American election news got swept up in it, and that non American Supernatural fans also were extremely excited for purely fandom reasons — but the entire reason it blew up to an unprecedented degree was because of that core of stressed out terrified Americans glued to their computers watching election results and suddenly receiving stupid fandom news instead, and deciding to just hysterically parodically hyper-celebrate this absurd useless zero-stakes news.

I think it was also all elevated by the fact that, as I said before, this happened at the crucial “tipping point” of the election where the next few hours would determine the winner. The fact that Biden began to slowly develop a lead in the hours after made it feel, hysterically, as if the hours after Destiel became canon was somehow the turning point where he began to win; so celebrating Destiel felt like celebrating that slow turn towards victory.

The tl,dr is that it’s so important to Remember the Fifth of November …..in preparation the inevitable hysteria that will happen in the presidential election on November 5th of next year. XD. Personally I’m rooting for Johnlock or Frodo/Sam to somehow become canon in the eleventh hour right before the democrats win

[dearsunrise12]

Writing is so easy (coming out from a slump)

Does anyone ever thought of how easy it is to write? I literally got my computer, keyboard, and endless thoughts for content: imaginary interviews, conversations with people I look up to, and confessions to my none existent therapist. I cannot fathom how I am always holding myself back. Why can't I write? As I typed that last question mark, I reached for my phone and mindless fiddle from app to app, without any specific goal. I don't want to blame mainstream media for my slump, but I gotta admit that it's a huge part of it. Sure they don't do it first handedly, but if there is no need to be constantly updated not only with personal messages and emails, but also with trends, memes, and whatever is the latest pop culture reference this week, I know I would have all those apps deleted in no time. I should know because I tried a hundred (not really) times. But all those distractions being also a part of my work, it's important that I keep them. And to be honest, I already know what I need to do to fix this problem, only that, it's the same thing that I can't achieve no matter how much determination I gather the moment I start my day: discipline.

I saw an Instagram post that illustrates determination and discipline; the former is a fire that sparks every ones in a while, and the latter is a steady, consistent flame that burns all through out the looping video. That was a huge slap in face for me. It's been a few weeks and that post still haunts me.

As someone who has a lot of solid ideas and the means to execute them, I really am a slacker. I'm not writing this to self pity, but rather to see what I am in a third person perspective. Because I know I can do it. I know I have enough time, but if I don't start immediately, that may not be the case anymore.

There is one thing I'm hoping, though. Because the discipline and the getting into it are things that is within my control; like right now, I finally gather the strength to type my thought. Yey for this. But what I'm hoping for, what I think could help me to really be awake and present everyday is a tangible inspiration. Maybe a person? A hundred million pesos? Anything that would remind me that It's all gonna be ok. Only that thing is what I call God-given. Just like the job I have now; if the stars did not align I might still be gouing through interviews now, or worse, stuck in a job I hate.

You know what people say, how everything worth having does not come easy? Well, easy is not the word if the thing that's gonna make it all worth it can only be given by an unknowable force.

With this, I am still very hopeful. And it brings me joys that I'm typing my thoughts. One tick at a time. I'll do my very best to show up more.

[system-of-a-feather]

don’t really know how to phrase this tbh, but do you have any advice for improving “awareness” (in quotes bc it’s close to what I mean, but brain is too foggy to figure out a more specific word/phrase)??

I’m the primary host for us, and I really struggle to recognize a) when others are in or near the front with me, b) when another part is exerting passive influence, and c) who other parts (especially in/near the front) are. everything asides from full possessive switches always feels very blurry and I have a hard time distinguishing myself from the other parts. I think this is in part due to the way that our DID hides itself and our amnesia (by giving me partial/vague memories and making it feel like I was the one active in them) but it makes recalling things very confusing (and pretty distressing if I realize that I wasn’t in the front for as long as I thought I was), especially when we’ve had non-possessive switches and/or co-con and/or passive influence.

so far, the others are helping me practice recognizing co-consciousness and passive influence by giving me a “nudge” at which point I’m supposed to try to identify who is in/near the front with me. but it’s still a big struggle and it’s been really frustrating, so I’m looking for suggestions on improving that skill, hopefully to a point where I don’t need to be promoted to realize that I’m not alone in the front.

and you’re a blog that we generally trust for info, so do you have any pointers?? (or do you know of anyone else who might be able to help??)

(~ @wondering-phenomenon)

I am assuming you mean "prompted" not promoted XD

I will be honest, our system is considerably "overt" and we have primarily possessive switches (even when we co-con / co-front) and so this realm of things is one aspect we don't have too huge experience with compared to systems that have it as their main form of switches. I'm not 100% sure what kind of switches they tend to have but I know they've talked on similar issues, so I'm gonna @l0st-identity to see if they want to / have anything to say on this / have any other blogs to redirect towards.

With that said, a lot of my experience with this comes from within our subsystem which deals with more non-possessive switches and a lot more confusion of parts (and parts assuming themselves to be other parts), which while different, is a similar frame work from MY experience that I'm using to suggest some things that might help.

One thing that has helped me in identifying me VS not me when parts are similar is to change perspective a bit. Rather than trying to be aware of when "I am not me", try to be more conscientious of when you ARE you - and by that, I mean answering the question of what situations and traits and behaviors make you feel the most you. You can approach this in a "what makes me who I am, how would I describe myself" manner if that's easier (which it tends to be for white and western (/neutral) cultures - if so then its a good place to start, the question is hard to answer so meet yourself where you are) but I think its best done by focusing on just how you feel when operating in the world and learning the general resting state / vibe that "you" settle in. I personally find labels and attaching descriptive labels to an identity tends to be limited in the long run, but thats more so a philosophical ideal preference on my end.

The better you know who YOU are as a part, the easier it is to tell when something isn't quite right. Sometimes if you are struggling in figuring this out, if you have a close person around you who you trust, you can also ask them for feed back and to keep an eye out to help point out things that might be different between parts and/or prompt you to just check in with yourself.

Additionally, its less long term helpful and maybe not hte most productive to long term healing in terms of DID but it can be helpful in the getting through the early stages of DID, which is to just think of things that you know you are ABSOLUTELY not, things you do not at all see yourself doing, and locating the oddities and incongruence between how you see yourself and some of your behaviors in the past to kind of see if there are any odd trends that stick out. It might results in an increase of tension between parts and alter differentiation, but in my experience, to get through the stabilization phase, alter differentiation and some level of tension pulling tends to be part of the process.

Additionally, you can also ask if other parts in the system that are more familiar / better at identifying this could write down some notes and pointers as to how they can tell next time they are out.

Your own parts are often some of your best teachers in my experience.

I had another in mind but I forgot it (honestly probably a few others XD I'm getting tired fight me /lh /j)

Also its kinda silly, but a thing I just do regularly throughout the day as a system that tends to usually have a pretty high co-fronting / co-conning ability is that sometimes I just internally call out and just wait to see if I hear back from anyone.

At this point when it comes to driving (I'm honestly easily stressed by driving due to OCD and dissociation, but at this point basically everyone elsei n the system is fine driving or enjoys it) I call out just about everytime "OK whose gonna drive" and see who speaks back.

Not always will parts respond, especially earlier in recovery and healing and communication work, but its always worth a try in my experience

OH I REMEMBERED IT

It sounds kinda silly as well, but if you notice something feeling off, sometimes I find myself "zoned out" and then as I hear whatever part is in the front wondering if they are me, I click back in and go "WAIT A MINUTE IM ME" and I don't really know if theres any advice I could give REGARDING that but it is a relevant point that might have something to it XD

Oh and in the end of it, per my usual motto, when it comes down to DID, try not to stress too much about figuring things out. Unless people are getting hurt or drastic issues are coming out in the lost time / time you aren't fronting, its not something that needs to be blown up and awareness will general build with time. It's not something you need to focus too much on to be able to slowly develop. As long as you intend to reach out and connect and try to be aware, that should be more than enough to keep you on a good track to increasing awareness as it is. Being kind to yourself and lowering your stress levels to the best of your ability can help a lot in lessening confusing symptoms cause ironically being stressed out makes you dissociated which makes both you and your symptoms more confused / confusing.

[kreture-komforts]

Man, I know you never wanna dive into the Tumblr perspective on media, esp. not reality tv, but y’all really got me fucked up over here about The Ultimatum: Queer Love.

I watched the entire season with my husband, and obviously these people are incredibly messy and problematic, but the way y’all will do readily call people narcissists, ESPECIALLY women of color, is fuckin painful. Yoly and Mildred are not narcissistic; they’re human, and flawed, and maybe even selfish, but they were also two women in really complicated situations that were only worsened by the toxic world of reality tv production. The editing is misleading, the premise is fuckin batshit, and we have NO IDEA what the producers are saying from behind the camera in order to manipulate more dramatic content out of these people. Yoly did her best to disclose everything she thought would be important and honest about her relationship with Xander to Mal, but she missed some details, and she was accused of lying multiple times because of that. Mail’s feelings of frustration and betrayal are totally valid, but Yoly was never caught in any lies and readily clarified wherever she was asked to.

As for Mildred, and y’all are gonna crucify me for saying this: she’s not just some abusive monster. I know, there’s a police report and there was physical violence between her and Tiff, but y’all have been quick to jump to believe Tiff’s story without giving any credit to the violent incidents Mildred expressed having experienced during the relationship instigated by Tiff (i.e. punching holes in walls). Everyone saying that Mildred shouldn’t have been invited to the reunion is a real hypocrite, because this situation was a complicated and toxic one that had issues from both sides. Tiff is not a sole victim, and an arrest does not an abuser make when our justice system has no built-in conflict resolution or room for cultural complexity. Tiff was fucking wrong to say “being respectful has no race,” in response to a Latina expressing that her mannerisms and communication style are heavily influenced by her culture. Later on in the show, we see them develop more of a respectful rapport with one another, while leaving room for the fact that the both of them have a tendency to step over each other’s words and speak over one another. That is simply not something a police officer is capable of doing, and that alone is reason enough to not make snap judgements and label people as narcissistic abusers. For example, my abusive father at some point filed a police report against my mother because she physically stood up against him to defend myself and my little brother. Luckily, the police are lazy and incompetent, so no arrest ever came of it, but it very easily could have escalated to that extent, despite my mother being the victim in that situation.

I just really believe that the internet, and Tumblr users specifically, have this habit of prescribing their own squeaky-clean, black-and-white ideas of morality mercilessly, and usually onto people with perspectives that they can never understand. And, these people aren’t gonna see your post calling someone’s human reaction to a terrible situation narcissistic and abusive, but you’ll have validated some shitty person’s generalization of women’s (especially Latina women’s’) emotional expression.

I believe abuse victims, and I also believe that two people can abuse each other without one of them being a fucking narcissist. Mildred attempted to speak her truth, and when she had the floor, Tiff interrupted her every chance she got; and yet, somehow, it gets turned back around on Mildred and now she’s the one who’s not listening or trying hard enough. Y’all can hate me all you want, but the human experience is full of violence, and while it shouldn’t ever have a place in a relationship, it’s not always as black and white as an abuser and a victim. Violent responses are both unfortunate and sometimes justified, and that’s just not a conversation Tumblr’s ready for yet.

[o-wild-west-wind]

I appreciate reading this, but I actually have a completely different perspective from my viewing of this show, and that is the fact that everyone fulfills the role of the queer-coded villain—but especially Ed. It only potentially seems otherwise because we forgot what it felt like to watch season 1 for the first time, and the show did such a good job of transforming the trope from something harmful into something complex and representative.

When Ed was introduced in episode 4, we learned two things about him: he’s not stereotypically masculine, and he’s planning to kill Stede. He, in many respects, immediately fulfilled the queer-coded villain stereotype; he’s dramatic and over the top, he likes fashion, he’s non-conforming, he’s hot and compelling. And yet he’s still explicitly morally grey. He’s presented as the antagonist.

But the trope dissolves as we learn his complexity; he doesn’t actually like violence, he doesn’t really want to kill, and he’s more than subtextually gay—he really is a full human with depth of emotion and capacity for love, and canonically in love with a man. Ed is the character whose arc frames an antithesis to the villain trope that has been pervasive in culture for so long. But the best part: he doesn’t lose the traits we still enjoy of these characters. He is still entertaining, and witty, and beautiful, and tragic, and even violent when he needs to be—but he’s also good, at heart. He is an example of taking this complicated trope and asking, why do we like these characters? And how can we make the story about them this time around, in a way that no longer villainizes them? And you could make this argument of almost any character in this show—every character could be the villain in someone else’s story. Jim is an obvious example of this. But the reason they don’t feel like the villain is because it’s their story.

The queer sidekick, too, is so beautifully represented in a character like Lucius. Lucius who, when first introduced, feels like the token gay—the stereotype we are so used to seeing as the character who bounces everyone else’s insight while never getting an arc of their own. And yes, he does begin as many of these things—similarly to Ed’s fulfillment of the queer-coded villain, the stereotype is presented before it can be refuted—but the crucial aspect is how this is turned on its head through the expansion of his character. Lucius gets a whole romance of his own, but he’s also given his own arc of personal growth; he goes from being the emotional center of the crew to the one poignantly struggling, and he becomes the receiver rather than the giver of support.

Izzy, in contrast, is never explicitly any of these things until maybe mid season 2. When he is introduced, he is actually the foil to everyone’s queerness; he represents a rigid adherence to masculinity, and antagonizes those who present as otherwise. He is never queer-coded while he exists as a villain; if anything, he’s internalized-homophobia coded, but that is a completely different trope with a very unique context in a story where every virtually sympathetic character is gay and harmed by this presence. I also didn’t think he was really presented as a sidekick, and definitely not the queer sidekick, especially considering what I just mentioned by his role as the foil; I’m not entirely sure what you mean by that comparison, to be totally honest, but like I said regarding Lucius, I do think that trope shows up to be challenged smartly in this show. One could argue that Izzy has a queer awakening arc in season 2 during the drag show, but I would argue that so does Wee John—who has had a very subtle but stark and beautiful journey of self-actualization that also culminates in the Calypso drag. So on all of these points, even if he did fulfill the role, there is consistently at least one (but usually several) other characters who also fulfill them. The reasoning for the narrative importance of including his death specifically I delve into a bit here.

Perhaps I have a completely different understanding of homophobia, but honestly…even if this show was taking those exact tropes copy paste as you described and only switching out a gay couple for a straight couple, I still don’t see how that’s homophobic. I think it’s a good thing to turn the tropes we’ve been presented in media on their head by presenting gay romance as just as important and worthy of storytelling as straight romance—and the way people have imposed this filter of “because Stede and Ed are a gay couple that follow typically straight romance story beats that means they are actually straight representation” is borderline dangerous imo, because it is just one more way that the presentation of queerness is policed, and it’s even scarier seeing that coming from within the community itself—what should be the safest space for it.

But since those tropes don’t even play out in that exact way, I do think this all bears some further analysis and this is what I encourage by framing this counterpoint. And what I do also want to mention is my favorite discussion question of all regarding this show, which I bring up because of your take on this show as a sitcom: is it really, and was it ever, just a sitcom? Discussions of death, trauma, violence, racism, homophobia, and suicide have been at the core of this show from day one, but especially through its course this season. This question is rhetorical—I just think it’s an important thought exercise, as not every comedy is only a comedy.

This is an extremely surface level analysis, so if anything is unclear I’m happy to reframe!

Another round of thoughts on the "Izzy died like a queer-coded character from a pre-gay-lib era" theme:

Every time I check into the Izzy tag or the main OFMD tag, I see people talking about how they liked/weren't shocked by the finale because it always kinda seemed like Izzy was going to die:

The reason it seems that way is because Izzy is the kind of gay character that has, historically, gotten buried.

He's the queer-coded sidekick that has to die to make way for the straight romance, and the queer-coded villain that has to be vanquished to make room for the happy ending (which includes a straight romance).

This time, he died to make way for a gay romance. Diversity win!!! I guess????

And it isn't that anyone thinks--well, probably someone somewhere does think it, but it isn't that I think that DJenks did this because he secretly loves homophobic tropes.

I think--I mean, he's pretty much said, in the interviews--that he did it because he just kinda felt like Izzy had to die to complete his arc. And he's also said he didn't intend to write a homophobic show, what I conclude from that is that he didn't fucking notice that the reason he, IDK, just kinda always felt like Izzy had to die was because of this trope.

That's why, as of the actual filming of the fucking episode, he convinced himself he was doing the "mentor dies" trope, even though he'd never done anything to establish that kind of relationship between the two characters. Because he didn't fucking know why it just kinda seemed right for Izzy to die.

And that, my friends, means that this show is just not as smart as we built it up in our minds to be.

I wasn't even expecting it to be the show where That Character finally gets a happy ending of his own. But I was--because it is a fucking sitcom--expecting it to be one where he ended up somewhere we could imagine a happy ending for him, rather than leaving him bleeding out on the fucking pavement.

[polgedanken]

thoughts the first (enlightened centrism)

centrism is presented as rationality; inherently it is not (why depending on what 'centrism' means in the context).

centrism can simply refer to specifically the opinion in the center of the spectrum (spectrum as referring to left-right spectrum, though this is probably a simplification). centrism and centrists can also refer to people who actively try to align themselves to the middle, usually on principle (which i think is a fairly good principle, which is that the two sides are equal, which is what makes it enticing to believe; it ends up with problems still). This is not rational because it forces you to give equivalence to the left and the right points equally distant from the center, when they aren't necessarily equal. If you were to actually consider their opinions and think about where you were on the spectrum, you would probably find you're off from the center by nature.

quick oversimplification (the usage of 'far-left' and 'far-right'; more on that later) to write a statement: The far left and far right in America are not equal; the far right is much worse. military groups parading around nazi adjacent flags & etc, the storming of the capitol on Jan 6. Supposedly there are some similar groups on the far-left, like Antifa, but i don't know how significant they are, if 'they' actually refers to something; this is either because it's just not a threat on the same level as the 'far-right', or because i'm limited by my perspective (i'm pretty culturally left). furthermore, if you consider those who are considered the farthest left politicians (bernie sanders, aoc) vs the farthest right (jewish space laser lady and co.), you'll find that they are not equal at all.

the point of this far-right far-left statement is that the center, placed in the center of the ends of the political spectrum and linearly extrapolating (probably linear; im not sure what it would be) everything in between (which is probably bad for a definition, though realistically it would probably be used as a definition by many) is very not good, and people would probably imagine themselves as a little more left (though not necessarily in the left) if they weren't centrists

picture to illustrate everything so far. not drawn to scale (the point is to illustrate the hypothesized phenomena). considering how the right gets much darker, and gets darker much more quickly, the 'center' is not really a good place to be.

a lot of the time, due to the nature of centrism that centrists think of centrism as inherently rational, these people see themselves as inherently rational. I do not think the act of centrists trying to actively align themselves in the center of the spectrum actually works; the 'center' isn't even well defined (probably depends mostly on your perspective), and they will tend to fall into the side that they like more. explicitly, centrists probably don't even exist on a true level (that they're in the center); it's more imagined in their heads, and they're just following the political ideology they like (though they would at least partially self balance due to their acceptance of the principle of aligning themselves to the center)

so what? i don't really know to be honest. it would maybe be better for people to do off with this enlightened centrism. and that isn't to say that we shouldn't be striving to work with one another and to bridge the gap between the right and the left. polarization and cultural division (cultural issues like guns, lgbtq, even abortion are so so soooooo important and dominate a lot of politics today, which causes so much polarization) are really really big problems in society currently that really need to be addressed

side note at the end: biden actually seems to have tried to mitigate polarization (in the few times i've watched him speak and learnt his policy, which isn't many. i think this might come from his state of the union address, maybe a town hall? i'm not sure) and tried to spread the message, though i guess that hasn't had an impact, maybe either because he's kind of old and shleepy and doesn't get much credit as a result, or because the message just isn't pushed enough. idk

examples: i'm lazy so there are none, but look for them in your personal social media platform. personally youtube comments and r/all reddit is a ripe place for this kind of stuff (for reddit, i would think unpopularopinion-like subs would be ripe, but in general, r/all subs that are big, like r/memes or general things like r/damnthatsinteresting or r/facepalm. a good percentage of the popuation sees r/all posts regardless of their political orientation, which leads to a lot of enlightened centrism). this lack of examples makes this a bad post. sorry :(