#maybe this is a universal feeling but also a lot of people have nice-looking sketch stages and can sketch well. not me baby.

[chalkscrub]

always forget i can drop off my messy wips and behind the scenes prep work on this blog right here.....until now

[kayakoto-enterprises]

House Guest lore? Oh yes, House Guest lore <3

For context House Guest is the ship name for my Beneath The Trees Where Nobody Sees self ship! It's a fairly new self ship so this will be updated as keep up with the new content IDW has been releasing for it!

Ship name is based on Nothing Painted Blue's House Guest which is often covered by The Mountain Goats. You should listen to this song.

Also you should read BTTWNS. Thanks.

Basing around this interview, the timeline of these events take place a year after the murders in Woodbrook have been resolved. Sam now runs the hardware store alone and babysits Charlie's kids every now and then. For the longest time Lola and Charlie were what she considered as friends in the lifetime she's spent in town. But with both of them gone, there's an air of sudden loneliness in her life. She does like the peace but then that just makes her impulses louder. More slip ups. This lingering feeling of fear or anger still brews inside her- how can it go away? Thankfully the residents are understanding of her condition. They did after all frame her for killing their neighbors for a time.

It's fair she'd be mad at them somehow. She doesn't show the grudge but the lack of any real relationship with people dented her and so she makes more trips to the city to hunt.

On a particular field trip, she stumbles upon her old camp. The earth broken with messy bald sinks. Grass had started growing over the sunken ground. She scoffs, this obviously was a job done by Nigel. She cleans back up the land and patches up the uneven soil. As she does she contemplates why he did it. Love? Obsession? Admiration?

How odd that a guy she's seen since he was a teenager decided to make advances on her.

Maybe it's norm. Nigel is 27. He's got a life to live and around that time people start to think about marriage or moving in or starting families. Maybe he could have gotten a crazy girlfriend back at his university. Maybe if he was not so dedicated he'd have a wife and a child today. He used to be a nice kid. He could have done something better than to disrupt the natural order of things.

Sam is 45. She's lived her entire life alone but not without experience. That's unnatural. In her travels she has had flings with girls and only had a serious relationship with 2 when she had to prolong her stay in some towns. Nobody in Woodbrook mind that she was childless or not romantically involved. But there were occasional condolances or pity parties thrown for her by old ladies. Why didn't she? Well it's probably because she's never really found the need to. And second, she's been only interested in women.

But it's not like there was a demand for her to be in a relationship anytime. These little women and men were her playthings. They couldn't possibly tell her how to settle down. But maybe to ease the tension and break the ice after a year of grieving and moving on. Sam thinks about dating for the purpose that she'll appear better off. Happier. Maybe with the added novelty that she's a lesbian.

It's a lot more positive association, isn't it? Sam had gotten tired of the apologies that punctuated every sentence directed at her. Why yes, tell me about my wife. Tell me about how nice it must be.

But like the wild animals people migrate in and out of Woodbrook. The women she found interest in either had married or went to the city. But people sometimes come in as a tourist or as a permanent resident. One of those people is Julianne, an illustrator who moved across the country to live in a more rural area.

Julianne is a stressed artist who dreams of living slowly and romantically. She chose Woodbrook because of how local and tight knit it was and because not much people are willing to come and invest in it yet after the horrors of 1986.

She bought an apartment suite to live in with big ambitions or visions of how she wants it to look like. One morning she came to the Burly Brown Bear with a binder full of sketches and magazine clippings. It's a grounded concept, she said as Sam flipped through the pages of the bestrewed book. It's as grounded as a maximalist can get. Mostly wood. Warm tones. Unique carvings and custom European windows.

Oh but we don't need to do that part, she laughs.

It's an eye opening pitch, but Sam decides to help her anyway excited to do another full scale project after a while.

This is perfect. They work on the project together growing to be close friends. Then the relationship breaches past a project partnership and they find themselves in parks, taking strolls around the forest that covers the town, drinking cider in Sam's truck or sleeping on the floor of the half finished apartment.

The town pick up on how close the two are becoming. And it's welcomed and encouraged, warming Julianne into the community from merely just being city folk and supporting Sam's bold open secret.

Her prop is useful. So useful. Too useful. That she forgets this is to save face. She feels the same primal satisfaction she feels when she kills with Julianne. A warm soothing hand that muffles the mouth of her soul.

Well. Sometimes Julianne still visits the city. She needs to go to work when it physically demands her. Or she just goes because she oddly enough feels comfort being blended in a crowd of faces. She goes there to ponder. And this overlap in schedule happens with Sam's "business trips". Sam panics realizing they're headed out too but. I mean she's probably on another side of the city. She won't see at all.

So she goes and she asks a deer for help bringing in her groceries. She chokes the doe and begins her usual routine. Ties. Hangs. Nails. Grinder. It's all there.

Nearby is a cat with a canvas bag eating lunch alone. She brought herself a strawberry sandwich and bought a cranberry slice to gift to her girlfriend later. She looks for a nice isolated spot near a river, but across the river is a silhouette of someone familiar. Is it? What a coincidence! Come eat lunch with me, silly.

A ritual is performed across the water. It's quiet and precise. Curiosity gets the better of Julianne and she crosses that stream, locking eyes with a bear slicing an incision on a deer's artery.

There's a silence that deafens.

[scyphosunny]

vargastober day 11 was posted a couple days ago ! this is a huge one , so let's talk about it .

i wanted to write an entry for this one yesterday , but i wasn't home ! i was still able to write something , but i spent most of the day getting some sleep . SUNNY , SLEEPING MORE THAN 3 HOURS A DAY ? NEVER HEARD OF IT !

first of all . . . what happened with day 10's piece ? if im being honest , i can't really remember anymore . but i'll try .

ah , yes ! it was a busy day , overall . ( it really wasn't .

i spent some time with else on vc , had a nice time ! talked about a bunch of stuff . then , i tried to get something before 7PM . . . and while i did get a small sketch i wasn't really pleased with it . which is weird ! because i drew something similar a while ago . . .

THE COMPARISON IS FUCKING KILLING ME , WHY DOES HE LOOK LIKE HE SWALLOWED A FUCKING BRICK IN THE FIRST ONE . i had a lot of trouble with face shapes , as you can probably notice . . .

did my usual things , watched evo with sister and had something to eat . then , it was thursday ! and usually my friends and i do stuff on thursdays . that day we played stardew valley !

my sister ended up puking and i panicked because i have emetophobia so after crying for an hour i was exhausted

i was planning on going to sleep early today since i was so tired . i tried to push myself a bit to get that piece done but i knew for a fact that i wouldn't be able to stay awake or focus even if i wanted . i also knew that if i tried maybe i could get something i liked ? sometimes the sketches for these don't look great , it's mostly about the colors or the ambience i add afterwards . ough then my friend asked if i could wake her up at 3AM because they all know im usually awake at that hour , and my stupid ass said yes even if i was falling asleep on the couch . i took a nap and i was talking to cris to try and keep myself awake . then i just went to sleep . and yeah , i knew the piece for yarn would be huge so i didn't even try to continue with the past one . another one to my " failed " folder ! this is the second time i chose a reference from the same artist and this is the second time i fail . MAYBE THAT'S BEEN THE PROBLEM THIS WHOLE TIME

i was setting ideas for the prompts , and the idea i had for this one was actually very different ! i was thinking , maybe scriabin using edgar like a puppet with strings of yarn ! that was a cool concept . maybe too cool . so i was like . . . what if someone already has this idea ?? what if we end up doing the same things ? something i want to avoid . i feel like , that's an image that also appears in other people's heads . so i was thinking . . . what else could i do . . . . . . and don't even know how , but i got the idea of that one scene scri described on chapter 20 !

this one ! it had been a scene i wanted to draw for a long time . honestly , i want to draw all the memories they described ough I JUST LOVE DRAWING FOR THIS UNIVERSE SO MUCH . it feeds my age regression delusions .

as soon as i was up , i tried not to waste too much time so i could work with this one . i really wanted to get it done that day ! since i knew i'd be out on saturday .

let's see . . . when i told brusk about this one i talked about how i had NO IDEA how i was going to achieve this and she shared this cool website with a bunch of 3D models of pretty rooms ! so i searched for one that looked similar to what i had in mind for their room .

started thinking . . . what do i think their room looks like ? at first i was thinking of it a bit like bluey's room , maybe . . . or dipper and mabel's room too . just two beds in the corners of the room . a bunk bed would also work for them , but let's just leave it like that .

this is a bit of what i had in mind ! maybe edgar's bed being the one on the lefft and scri's the one on the right . i tried to make it look messier for that reason lolz . two windows , some toys on the floor , a nice carpet in between the beds . . . i can't really imagine them having posters around , to be honest . maybe just some pictures . . . even if i added two beds ( for obvious reasons ) i have the hc that scri would mostly sleep on edgar's bed . a bit like what he does on the chapters after he has a body ! scri just goes , sits on the corner of the bed and even if edgar told him not to sleep there he still does and edgar doesn't do anything about it lolz . i can imagine scri walking to edgar's bed in the middle of the night to cuddle with edgar and that's that . so , in theory , edgar's bed should be the messy one and scri's would be made most of the time since he doesn't really sleep there . " his bed would be made " , is that how you even call it ? i don't know . . . then , they'd have fights and would sleep separately . ough , my little kids . </3

so yeah , that was the layout i had planned originally . i searched on the website , and these caught my eye !

( links for them are here and here

i was going to use that ffirst one as the reference but then i was like . that's a bad place to put a bed . ( ??? ) so i kept looking , even if i wanted to give those vibes . then , found that second one and my brain immediately went PERFECT

BUT .

i have a little problem . and my perception of time is absolutely broken . I CAN'T VISUALIZE HOW THINGS WERE BEFORE 2000'S i SWEAR . 2000's for me are like . how everything is rn . maybe like those nostalgia pics ppl like to share on social media . but , for everything before the 2000's it's like

WHICH IS A FUCKING PROBLEM BECAUSE I CAN'T VISUALIZE ANYTHING FOR THEM THAT DOESN'T LOOK LIKE IT BELONGS TO YEAR 1800

i knew for a fact that the story was set in the 90's but i also wasn't sure ? because there's this entry on violation where scriabin writes a date .

I WAS PRETTY CONFUSED , i wanted to go with that but i also knew that we couldn't really trust scri when it comes to anything . i asked zar because i wanted to have everything in place and she did say that scri was lying lolz . I JUST THINK OF THAT A LOT everytime i want them to do something i'm constantly thinking " did this thing exist back then " " is this how this thing looked when this happened " IT'S ANNOYING

i had to do some calculations . . . let's see , if the story is set roughly on the 90's , and edgar's like , 30 years old let's say ( i hc him being +30 , but zar usually says that he's in his late twenties so i'd go with 27 or 28 ) , so he was a kid on . 1970 , let's say . i literally googled " rooms in the 70's " but i was still leaning into something that looked more old that that . THEY ALSO SEEM TO LIVE IN THE FOREST OR SOMETHING IDK their house looks old in my head

i did end up changing the bed's design , though . make it a little more square-ish . if that makes sense . oh , also ! i added some stairs for scri , since he's so small and the bed looks tall ( it was actually even taller in the 3D render ) . he maybe moved the stairs to edgar's bed so he could just hop in when he wanted . smol boy .

so well . . . i had no idea if i could trust the process , to be honest . i had to move some stuff around , pushed the bed to the corner of the room , added the window in between the beds and uh idk i think that's all i had to move

so , i went from this

to this

to , well . this !

before even starting i watched a tutorial . i know for a fact that i'm not good at backgrounds . and i really REALLY didn't want to fuck this one up because if i got it right it would be SO GREAT . this is the tutorial i watched , by the way . . . it was super useful !

i started working on it at 1pm maybe , and as you can see by the hour on the screenshots ( i just checked and i took the screenshots at night lolz ah well ) it took me the whole day . ougghh . once i got to take a break and eat something , it was time to color stuff . i had fun choosing colors and textures for everything . . . really like that one wallpaper i chose ! and green always looks pretty on everything . also , added that one texture i always use for the skin and i really like how it makes everything look . looks less flat .

i didn't know what i wanted to do with those pictures . i just added one of edgar and his grandma maybe and a random rose . i wanted to make it a butterfly and looking back at it i should've gone with the butterfly but i couldn't get it to look right , bleh .

also , those strings holding the frame weren't supposed to be red but i accidentally drew them in the same layer as the yarn , so when i colored everything the strings also got colored and was too lazy to get them back to normal lolz .

coloring little scri was really fun ! i was planning to draw edgar crawling on the floor originally , as scri described . but i couldn't find a reference i liked and also , it was about time to draw scri in one of these ! it's been a while since he showed up . i just keep drawing edgar but i do find funny that everytime i tried to draw scri on these recently i just fail . DID I GET USED TO DRAW EDGAR AND NOW I CAN'T DRAW SCRI ANYMORE ??????? IDK but that can't be good .

uh , what else . . . coloring everything was a long process but picking colors was still fun . scri's sweater was actually blue at first but i didn't like how it looked so i changed it . . .

getting the yarn in place was actually harder than i expected . I DIDN'T REALLY ADD A BUNCH OF STUFF TO LOOP IT WITH , i wanted to make their room look messier at first but i got lazy . maybe add some clothes on the floor or shoes , i don't knnnnow . . . I JUST DIDN'T WANT TO ADD MORE DETAILS I'M SICK OF THIS DRAWING

i tried to make it just a whole thread of yarn going everywhere but at the end i did add some random pieces because it looked empty , bleh . even know , i feel like the yarn is not noticeable enough and that bugs me off because YARN IS SUPPOSED TO BE THE MAIN THING ON THE PIECE and you can't even see it .

( quick break to say that i'm listening to dusty dirty curse by kikuo and i keep feeling sad because i didn't know the song before going to the concert a month ago , I REMEMBER ENJOYING IT AND STUFF BUT I LISTENED TO IT LIVE AND DIDN'T KNOW HOW IMPORTANT THAT WOULD BE FOR ME IN THE FUTURE . god i only knew its name because zarla told me but god GGGODDD PLEASE TAKE ME BACKKKK PLEASE I CAN ENJOY IT MORE THAN BEFORE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE I WAS SO HAPPY BACK THEN

my art is already HARD TO SEE I'D SAY but bleh

i was almost done coloring stuff . . . and sometimes for some reason my csp lags a bit when i try to change to certain brushes . well , i tried to change brushes , my csp freezes , the screen gets black for a second and i'm thinking " please don't crash , please don't crash " then i got a blue screen

fun ! ( fun fact , blue screens used to scare me so much . everything related with technology errors still scares me but last pc i had would crash over and over and over again so i kinda just got used to it lolz . now this one doesn't crash as much . last time it did was because i tried to play minecraft with shaders and it really didn't like that . oh well , where was i . .

i couldn't remember last time i saved and honestly it SCARED ME because i couldn't afford to lose progress back then . it was probably past 11PM at this point . . . i did get why my pc crashed , though . . . i had it turned on since 1PM . i did take breaks and stuff but i didn't turn it off completely ? so it was probably tired . at that point my time with csp opened was more than 11 hours . well . . .

i turn it on again . . . i check the file . . . didn't lose a lot ! i just colored the lamp on the drawer and the calendar lolz . i checked my file though , and i realized that csp actually restored some of the progress for me ! i didn't know it could do that . . . when it comes to the app crashing , i knew i could always trust sai2 . everytime the app crashed , i would open it again and it immediately would be like " hey you didn't save do you want your file back ooorrr . . . . . . . " and i never got that on csp until that ! really appreciated .

didn't know what to do for that calendar , exactly . so i just added that day's date . october 11th !

what else . . . had fun with the lightning and the colors . it was mostly me experimenting . i didn't know that to make for edgar's blanket . . . and well i just love the combination between blue and yellow . so why not throw some stars .

also , that bit of green is supossed to be scri's bed . added some random drawings to the paper sheets on the floor . . .

i searched for a while to find a nice texture to add to the floor . . . most of the ones i found weren't free . and when i finally found one i liked it took foverer to download . i was like PLEASE I JUST NEED TO DO THIS ONE THING

and i think that was all ! i'm really proud of this piece . it's my best piece currently . took around 13 hours with breaks . . . started at 1PM and finished it at 3AM maybe ? took two breaks to eat and shower. i'm used to take this long on pieces but god . it also has like , 300 layers . maybe 200 , i don't know . . . and makes me so much happier knowing that it ( mostly ( came out of my brain and not from a random pinterest reference !

i wish i had a speedpaint and i've been wanting to record speedpaints for these but I ALWAYS FORGET TO PRESS RECORD UGH

with and without filter ! i really , REALLY love this filter . it kinda gives 2016 tumblr vibes . or one of those filters on instagram no one actually uses . Río de Janeiro

as you can see , there's some stuff i cropped out . mostly because it didn't look good . . . those books on the shelf look kinda odd and the window is also throwing me off .

quick comparison ! last time i made a background this complicated was back in 2021 . . . even if it's been a long time since i really tried with one of these it's still way better . i've grown so much as an artist X3

i don't know if i'll work on today's piece , if i'm being honest . . . i think i'll try but i was out all day today and woke up at six . tired . . . was falling asleep in the bus back home until bug by kairiki bear started playing . my eyes just snapped wide open lolz . i really don't want to skip another prompt , ugh . i do enjoy drawing edgar bleeding to death , so that might encourage me just enough lolz . i was also out on saturday , as i already mentioned . didn't do a whole lot . . . i did write a small jake / edgar drabble i know for a fact i WON'T POST because i'm not good with writing !

pics i took today ! aren't i pretty ? also , i told you my shoes were cool !!!!!!!!!!!!

i'll have something to eat for dinner . . . then i'll see what i can do X3

also lol i've been having trouble to TURN MY MONITOR ON and i'm afraid that one of these days i'll try to work on a piece and it won't turn on . ugghh

[yakichoufd]

Hello again, im the same Anon as the Jhin post. Firstly I'm screaming that sketch is so cute!!! You got crazy talent. It brightened up my night!! Also don't be stressed about sending things asap, you got a personal life and I already know the zine will be something worth waiting for.

Secondly, I agree with a lot of what you said! It would be fascinating to see how Jhin would be written. He was an Ionian prisoner so I imagine he has some disdain for authority figures of that sort; law officials, officers, prison guards. A friend and I have rambled about it a lot, we sort of came to the idea that it would make sense for Jhin's targets in Piltover/Zaun to be Enforcers because of that association. He catches a glimpse of how the Enforcers treat Zaunites and is like "ah, a new art project". And Viktor, going through his divorce era and being corrupted by the Hexcore might be willing to tolerate Jhin's focus on Enforcers. Might, being the key word.

League Viktor frequently uses unethical methods to save lives. And if Jhin were to soley target Enforcers then Viktor may see that as saving people in Zaun. Through that, they may get along. Additionally, in League lore, Viktor is frequently perceived as a madman. I feel like Jhin would look beneath Viktor's surface, beneath the mask, and understand him and his chaos. He'd think Viktor and his complexities are a work of art.

I adore Viktor, I love his morals and his compassion. I am both so nervous and so excited for season 2, I don't want Viktor to become the Herald entirely 😅. Sorry for such a long reply also oh my days. Take care!! ❤️

You are so kind dear Anon T-T I'm very interested by your theory and I think it could work well with Viktor! I'm hoping he won't be too corrupted by the hexcore tho... The few things I like about Machine Herald is that he created himself completely and he strongly believe he is going to make humanity better (or something like that). His original lore was more evil and chaotic than is current league of legend lore so I've hope for Arcane universe haha! I like that each skin/universe can change a champion. I believe people who love Viktor before Arcane really want him to be a cool villain while people, like me, who discovered him thanks to Arcane want him to stay who he is in s1 haha! If Viktor get completely corrupted by the hexcore, it changes who machine herald is in my opinion. We will always wonder what would have happened if the hexcore wouldn't have infected his brain. But if he has to be a mad man, I think he will be well written. They did great with Jinx's personalty and I like that she doesn't want to change by the end of s1. She chosed and accepted who she is. I usuqlly dislike chqrqcter like Jinx but I liked her is Arcane. I'd love if Viktor find someone who loves him and accepts who he really is. Maybe Jhin could be that person and they'd have an interesting dynamic. Maybe they could both do their own things to make Zaun "better". I wonder Viktor's relationship with enforcers. We didn't see him around Caitlyn (only around Marcus) so maybe he dislike them or if he secretly despites them. I wonder if he was already a student in Piltover when Zaun tried their failed "coup d'etat/rebellion" on the bridge and what kind of repercussion he got. My sleep deprived mind went wild and I started imagining a nice trouple with Jayce, Jhin and Viktor. It would make no sense but I love Jayce with Viktor no matter what haha!

[dogsilliam]

Day 9: Past

This challenge is making me realize i barely have characters, just pretty designs LOL.

Was only able to do some sketches today of what these two might look like/do in the future.

I wrote two pages about their future. And its pretty confusing, their story line isn't pinned down yet. So I imagine their stories ending in two different ways. Either dramatic death by police "Everybody dies" ending. Or the good ending, they live in a cabin in the woods together for the rest of their days.

I'll talk about the change in their looks first. Jeremiah finds confidence in his vampire identity, he shaves his snake tendrils, he's not afraid to show off his vampire ears. He gains a little bit of weight, grows an inch or two. I really like his jet black eyes, but I'm not too sure about the vampire lore in this universe, so his eyes could also be a fun color like purple or some. He's gotta have a face scar from their adventures i just don't know where, hehe. As for jack, I'm still unsure whether he's a natural blonde, or if he dyes his hair blonde so he doesn't look like his father. Either he dyes his hair black, or he lets his natural brown hair grow out. He also has a little stubble, because again he's less afraid of looking like his father. Another thing I'm unsure about in his design is his lip ring, hes supposed to be this macho guy so I don't think he could justify the lip ring. He also has a lot of punk influence though, so maybe thats how he justifies it? Its not gay because its cool and edgy punk. But maybe he gets one at the end of the story. IDK!!! see what i mean when I saw i barely have ocs LMAO nothing is figured out with these two and Ive had them for like 2 and half years now.

I explored the cabin option, bc i love my gay boys and want them happy. They live in this nice isolated cabin, since Jeremiah is the son of the vampire ruler they are living on the border of human land and vampire territory. Jeremiah probably gets delivers of blood from his father, and his father is the one who gave them the cabin. They've adopted three cats, more so jack adopted three cats. I drew up the cats designs, they would have 2 black cats, and one calico. They have batty, who is deaf but has huge ears. Hubert who is older and really beat up. He is missing an eye and an ear. Hubert's like the ring leader of the kitty trio. And then lily who is missing a leg. Jack is reconciling his past by taking care of these messed up creatures. He feels reflected in them, they are broken but he loves and takes care of them. Hubert is his favorite, he has a really rumbling purr.

I imagine their relationship is much better then the early years, falling into a dynamic thats good for the both of them. No more fighting and trying to kill each other, just a symbiotic relationship of Jeremiah drinking jacks blood and jack eating Jeremiah's arms occasionally LOL. Thats what I'm really struggling with, how do u give a happy ending to a delusional psycho cannibal. Jeremiah is very motherly to jack near the end, holds him a lot, kissed his fore head. They've almost switched power dynamics, jack no longer being the lead in the relationship.

I think jack has started to make peace with his homosexuality, he would never say it aloud, but his internal voices have reached an understanding. And by starting the process of dealing with that internalized hatred, he's opened the flood gates to processing all the traumas he been through. I think it would be SO funny if he saw a zoom therapist from their cabin, to understand his childhood trauma. He never tells the therapist about the murders, he still a vigilante about being caught by authorities. Jack spends a lot of time in the woods building those strange forest sculptures. He just spends hours everyday, in pure silence collecting sticks and assembling these huge sculptures. He's stopped popping pills and drinking, but still smokes pretty heavily. He's depressed because he's realizing what he's done to the peoples he's killed. I feel like he wouldn't feel bad about all of them, he still believes he had a right to kill the old men. He doesn't feel bad for the hooker, but the random kid, and the gay men he murdered. His father hurt him and his family so bad, and he's realizing that he wasn't taking power back from the universe he was just doing the exact same thing his father was. Jeremiah keeps him as stable as he can, but he breaks down a couple times, probably tries to commit. Probably tries to turn himself in. But Jeremiah doesn't let him. The story of the cannibal killer stays in news for a long time after. The police are still looking for the culprit. Jack tries not to watch the news, but he does. When he sees the family members talking about how much they want to find the bodies of their loved ones,, he cant handle it. He donates so much money to gofundmes for these familys. I feel like this is such a downer end to their story tho, so its still being work shopped. Like these two boys go on this epic coming of age story, and it ends with major depression hello. I think they could also both just stay delusional and murderous together, and like hunt down the occasional hiker. But IDK.

They still be kissin n shit, they are probably super comfortable with each other since they've spent so much time together. I think it would also be interesting if jack becomes sort of a famous sculpture, and in his old age reveals that he was the cannibal killer. He gets taken into custody, but they don't have any evidence to prove that he he truly is and he gets let go. A homosexual famous sculpture claims he was the cannibal killer from 30 years ago. Jeremiah doesn't age obviously becauses he a vampire. I don't really care about their story after this, I dont want to think about them growing old together and jack eventually dying. That is just sad and uninteresting!

[pb-dot]

All That's Left In The World

After being ever so slightly disappointed at my last Boys Kissing Boys read, I decided to give the genre another go with Erik J. Brown's All That's Left In The World to carry me through the end of pride month and subsequent withdrawals. I've certainly made worse decisions because this book is pretty cute.

The world is well and thoroughly screwed. A highly contagious virus with a terrifying mortality rate has sent the world spiraling into a familiarly desolate post-apocalyptic wasteland. Our heroes find themselves together after the snarky but deeply self-loathing Andrew steps on a bear trap within hobbling distance of the secluded cabin home of bundle-of-nerves with a heart of gold Jamie. What starts out as Jamie showing mercy to the wounded and ever so slightly self-destructive Andrew grows into quiet post-apocalyptic domesticity. When circumstances and motivations push them to move onwards, a road movie wander through the ruins of the American east coast follows. Where they'll end up is uncertain, and whether Andrew can find it in himself to open up about the feelings that are brewing for Jamie, and whether Jamie feels the same way, is similarly clouded.

Well, except the last part isn't. The dual perspectives of the book is honestly a good move for examining the burgeoning friendship-maybe-relationship and keeping the characters somewhat accountable for their perspectives, it doesn't really leave much room for ambiguity as it pertains to matters of the heart. It isn't much of a problem for the story, though, as the question is less "Are these two idiots in love?" and more "Can these two absolute dunces get over themselves for long enough to talk about their feelings, or better yet act on them before the terribleness of the world kills one or more of them?" The universe cockblocking them whenever A Moment threatens to arise exists somewhere on the spectrum of "Frustrating Plot Contrivance to Darkly Comedic Running Gag," trending towards the latter as the book progresses. It's not to its detriment, though, the frustration it stirred in me felt very organic.

The characterization of our two lucky unlucky boys is in general very solid. The dual perspectives allow us to get a very honest look at them. Their separate neuroses feel appropriately sketched out and end up guiding the plot without becoming these unmanageable huge domineering things. For a bit, I was a bit annoyed that noted man-liker Andrew, after discovering that Jamie had a girlfriend pre-apocalypse, all but discards any romantic ambition towards the big lug. Like homeboy is unaware that mspec people are a thing. As we get used to the guy though, it makes more sense. Andrew isn't a quitter, but a lot of how he handles his trauma is by denigrating himself, reading his own actions and desires in the least flattering light possible. Believing Jamie to be categorically unable to like him like he is starting to like Jamie is yet another way for Andrew to torture himself. As far as books that use "people being entirely unaware that you can, in fact, be Bi or any other flavor of mspec," as a plot point, it's one of the better handlings of the subject matter.

The book is somewhat light on the nitty-gritty of survival, but I don't count it as a weakness. Reading about how our heroes are doing as it pertains to supplies and whatnot is kept in the background, providing more of a flavor to the ongoing drama and/or peril than the cause of the same. It's a good way to keep the main drama human and not get bogged down in the sheer unrelenting tedium of survival. Perhaps I'd like to see the tedium kind of take a toll on our heroes, but it's also kind of nice to not have to deal with it at all. Painful tedium, as we all know by now, is not in short supply in real life.

As far as post-apocalyptic tropes go, All That's Left In The World does deal with the post-apocalypse as a way to look at the human animal. Jamie and Andrew are wary of other survivors, and considering how spectacularly poorly their meetings with larger groups of people the first couple of time, who can blame them? They encounter much of the "hard men making tough choices"-school of postapocalyptic survival, which needless to say does not go great for our plucky heroes.

Still, I would like to see slightly more humanity in the other survivors and factions they meet to gray things up a little. Not to say the town of fash-y racist homophobic hicks that hound them through large parts of the book deserve better, but many of the more minor encounters feel very one-sided. It is a bit odd because a situation of ambiguous motivations and messy morals do form a pivotal part of Andrew's backstory, and you'd think the book would perhaps interrogate that a bit more directly in the text. Even so, it may be unreasonable of me to expect the scared and disillusioned teenagers in a lawless land to see the humanity in the filthy and occasionally hostile wretches they encounter.

Plotwise, the book feels a bit like it struggles with some dead-ended plot developments. While I find it immensely charming when Andrew tries to go off on his own and be all broody and self-loathing only to be met with Jamie who does not blame him for trying but will not, for love nor money, let him do that to himself, I also kind of wanted to see how the two of them did apart for a little bit. Most of the time it works out just fine, but there is one particular moment in Act 2 where I found myself saying "I was so sure this very dramatic bit was going to dictate the direction of the plot more..." with a slight tinge of disappointment.

Nitpicks aside, I enjoyed my journey with Jamie and Andrew a whole lot. The two of them aren't the most complex characters in the world, but they feel real enough that it's hard to not get attached to and root for them. They're cute as friends who are perhaps a mite closer than what is typical, and they're cute in the little we get to see them as boyfriends, enough so that I wish we got to see that a bit more. That is what fanart and sequels are for, I suppose.

[house-bound]

I'm trying to make a reversed Alternia AU slightly based on this old drawing but I am having some trouble so if anyone wanna help feel free to.

(The canon trolls won't be part of this AU, I just used these redesigns to sketch out the world building)

More details and doubts under the cut

First of all, they are reversed in that Rust bloods are at the top and fuchsia at the bottom, the aesthetics of the rusts are now of Greek Gods and royalty while the fuchsia are sea witches who wear what they find in the ocean, you can noticed Eridan is covering their gills and that's because to run errands and walk in land they have to do that, Purple bloods mark the line between land and sea but still live in beaches at the margins of land.

While all that is going on, Mutant bloods are universally liked and praised, their rare blood colors are pretty to look at and so most of them show off their grub scars.

This is where it gets complicated because while I am swapping things out, what stays the same is 1-their powers and 2-their numbers, rusts are still the most populous group and fuchsia are still only one every hundreds of years, so their classpects are still the same, Fuchsia are sea witches who steal things, Rusts have to look after everyone so they're still maids, they still mess with dark arts (for funsies) so are witches as well.

And one thing I noticed about the social hierarchy of Alternia (a lot of people did actually) is that being a higher caste allows you to have better technology, Equius makes robots for fun, HIC has a fancy tiara that allows her to do everything, but on Reversernia, the dominating classes have psychic powers which allows them to not rely on technology for things but have a stronger connection with nature, bronzes have animal connections, Golds are linked to the organic technology of the bee combs and various bugs, their technology mastery is different from the ones of Equius and HIC because they never built the hives or the bugs they make games with, they just grow their technology, meaning the that Reversernia isn't a technocracy but they almost worship nature itself.

Another thing is that I don't want to reverse the life expectancy, Rusts still come and go faster than everyone while Fuchsia are stuck living forever as eldritch beings at the bottom of the sea with mysterious abilities.

And their psychic abilities are also changed by this new form of government, and THOSE I want to reverse but not as a meta decision but as in-world thing where the castes under blue were taught to only use their abilities on ways that don't benefit them, for so long they straight up forgot how to use them on ways more similar to canon. Basically:

Ceruleans have reverse mind control, they can invite people into their bodies for the benefits of those that are lending their bodies, that is a lot of Ceruleans line of work even, just lending out while their conscious take a back sit. Warm bloods do that when they want a more resistant body and maybe to escape the boredom of their lives

Purples are entertainers who can use their skills to give people pleasant dreams, and are overall nice clowns

I'm kinda lost on the other abilities, this is where I need help, what would be the opposite of telekinesis or talking to ghosts? Should Bronzes turn into animals instead of controlling animals? What would be a reversed blood drinker?

And another theme I want to work in is the feminine and masculine dominated roles, what if Jade bloods become cool and tough action heroes, what if Indigos become small and petite nuns that worship a technological God instead of an organic mother Grub? Should the trolls stay nocturnal or what? It's hard making a reverse AU and not knowing which things to reverse, specially when I already decided to keep their population disparity the same as canon and their powers roughly the same? I just hope I can get more ppl invested into this.

[hochmvt]

you believed in me when no one else did. (<3)

It was a long, sunny, sleepy day and Isaiah was in a fairly good mood, seemingly carefree, even if he was in the midst of a creative block. Considering his surroundings and what was going on around him, however, his state of mind was by no means far-fetched: the rosy-colored sky above him, the sand beneath his feet and the fresh breeze that cleared his head and his company sunbathing next to him. The sun shone warmly on his face, he closed his eyes and stretched his head up towards the star, lowered the pen in his hand and enjoyed the silence within himself for a moment.

Camille and he had known each other for some time, having originally met through the curiosity shop when the podcast host had stopped by in the early Christmas season the previous year. The brunette had similar interests to his own and they had talked for far longer than the common courtesy of a retail employee would have justified (he had also verbally reassured himself that he could leave if she needed peace and quiet and she had replied each time that everything was okay). Since then, they had kept in touch; mostly via Discord with long voice messages when there was something to talk about and other times when they were just feeling bored. They didn't necessarily know each other well, they never worked through their childhoods in a one-on-one conversation in the higher promille range and had ended up crying and hugging each other in forgiveness for the children they could have been, but Isaiah would still describe their bond as a friendship—hoping the feeling was mutual. Camille was one of the people with whom he kept in touch the most. That was nice, he thought. To have someone he could rely on somehow.

The day before yesterday he had arrived in New Orleans. Camille seemed to need some time off for herself too, she had seemed upset when they had spoken in voice chat and even the most well-placed punchlines didn't seem to cheer her up. Their downtime consisted of day trips to Northshore Beach, about half an hour outside the birthplace of jazz. It was the third day they'd been here; on the first day, Isaiah had read to her from the books he was currently reading (In Search of the Multiverse by John Gribbin, and his assumption that quantum theory and string theory could require a multiverse, which Isaiah had explained to Camille in great detail whenever he stopped reading and they daydreamed about the concept of parallel universes [and yes, they'd be friends in other universes, too]; or, when he got bored of the first book, he read Dark Matter and Dark Energy: The Hidden 95% of the Universe by Brian Clegg to her and gave perspective to the invisible components of the universe, that still made up most of it, what they meant for our understanding of the cosmos and then he had found approximately 18 metaphors that applied to everything and anything: how the choices we didn't make were similar to dark matter, invisible, silent, but weighing heavy upon us, constantly surrounding us and becoming a reminder of what we could have been. How life was this cosmic expansion powered by dark matter, an invisible energy of everything unsaid and unexplored pushing us further into the unknown.), on the second day they had talked a lot, about everything and nothing, and now, on the third day, they kept quiet for the most time. Isaiah had started sketching at some point while Camille was sunbathing and he had drawn the beach in his notebook, Camille's bag and then her. To do so, he had studied her in great detail, internalizing every little part of the moment and finally capturing it on paper: the stray hairs coming from Camille's head, how her eyelids rested on her cheeks, how her breath was calm and collected, the distant sound of the ocean waves. And as he looked at her, he saw a whole, complete vision of her, maybe for the first time. For the days they had spent together, she had been ecstatic, overwhelmed, crying while laughing, bored. These were memories that warmed his heart.

As he tried to paint the tanning family in front of them (the mother trying to keep her three children in check, as well as the dog and the big-bellied father standing by, watching the four of them), she had sat up again. Isaiah had angled his legs, rested his head on his knees and placed the notebook in front of him. ❝ You believed in me when no one else did. ❞ At her words, he had furrowed his eyebrows slightly and lowered his notebook, looking over to her and rested his head on his knees again. Silence befell him, not knowing whether he felt compassion or was simply moved by her statement, but at some point he had gently stroked her dark strands of hair, smiled encouragingly and taken Camille's hand in his, drawing it closer and pressing it to his chest — a touch that was not meant to be a ambiguous gesture or exploiting a moment of emotional inattention on her side, driven by ulterior motives, but rather innocently, chaste, seeking the emotional and mental closeness of his counterpart. For Isaiah, touches like holding hands, long hugs or sometimes even falling asleep next to each other had become the norm; he liked being close to people he had taken into his heart. Whereas most had mistaken the small gestures of the blonde, he hoped Camille didn't misread his intentions for something lesser. “Of course I did... You're great, Camille. You're kind, supportive, one of the funniest people I've ever met... You're a great storyteller, you're clever, you're witty, you're loyal and courageous, you're helpful and inspiring...  You're so many great things I admire in people, I don't see why I shouldn't believe in you. I'm– Where is this coming from? Are you okay?  What did you think about?” His smile was sincere, he gently stroked the back of her hand with his thumb as he looked at her and studied her features. Something in her face had changed but it was hard for him to read, let alone understand. “I'm here for you, Camille. Always.”

[umichenginabroad]

Kayak voyages and el Rio Misterioso...

Week 6

It's come to my attention that more people than I thought read my blog posts, so here's to all of my adoring fans who've been here since the early weeks! If you're new, I gotta say that these are definitely a treat (but of course I'm a bit biased). This post might be shorter than my other ones since it was a pretty relaxed week with not too much going on. However, read till the end! Treat it as waiting for the post-credits at the movies, I might have a hint about where I'm going this weekend...

Pirates of the San Sebastián Bay

I'm going to skip past Monday and Tuesday to just jump right into the rest of the week since those were mainly more days of research. Due to Tecnun having a university holiday on Wednesday, we were able to have that day off! It was super nice out so we decided to seize the day (most of the day after napping for maybe half of it) to embark on a kayak excursion. With the luck from a shilling and 5 euro note I found on the ground, I had high hopes that we would have the blessing of the sea on our side. The rental wasn't that expensive at all, especially for a two-person kayak and roughly 2 hour time slot. We originally planned to set sail for the island itself, but decided that we wanted to aim for an even bigger goal of going around the island. Everything was going smoothly until we reached the mouth of the bay, since this area featured a lot of unexpected rocky patches. As newly appointed seafarers, Jayashree and I wouldn't let this be our end. We successfully entered the choppy waters and were officially now out in open water! At this point, we should've been cast alongside Captain Jack Sparrow because we would make phenomenal pirates. Seeing the back of the island was really neat along with feeling how different it is being the only boat on the water. We ended up having a really good time and 100% would do it again!

Land Ho!

Afterwards we stopped by an icecream stand to reward ourselves on our journey, where I found a rather interesting choice to say the least. It was called a Frigo Pie, or Refrigerator Foot, and it was actually shaped... just like a foot. If I had to rate it overall, I would say a 6/10 for taste and 9/10 for presentation. What better way to cool off on a hot day, right?

It was a bit smaller than expected. I think to improve their product they should make it somewhere around a size 7-8 in US shoe sizes. More bang for your buck you know.

Photo Ops and Friendly Competitions

On Thursday, the night had a lot in store for us. To start, Jayashree, Izzy, Deidra, and I had the amazing idea to recreate some classic JCPenney-esque family photos. I don't really know how else to explain them besides just showing the results, so take a look below at the outcome and I'll do my very best to explain our vision:

We were attempting to create a square with all our hands. We almost got there but it resembles more of a rhombus.

Izzy may or may not have dropped me before taking this picture for the second time.

A big thank you to Diego for being our photographer! Later on, some of us had bought tickets to go to the local club, Bataplán, to get the experience of going out in Spain. To sum it up, we had a great time! We did some rounds of arm wrestling where Jayashree was the reigning champion, and enjoyed listening to all the spanish reggaeton music (there were also some english songs and also a random Can-Can remix).

A quick showcase!

Lately whenever I'm not at work doing research or something with my friends, I've been spending time getting back into drawing. It's always been something that I love to put time into and see how much I've improved over the years. At one point I considered going to school for storyboard animation, but I figured that I like art more as a hobby anyways :). I don't usually do architecture drawings, but I wanted to do a challenge for myself and also sketch it only in pen to up the stakes. Take a look and leave a review in the comments!

This street is from a picture I took when I was just walking around San Sebastián one day.

The Big Finale of the Week: Amusement Park!

On our very first day here, we were taken to Monte Igueldo for a lunch and the best view of the city. We decided to go back on Sunday since there's an amusement park at the top (meant for little kids but I mean we had to check it out). After disembarking from the cable car and reminiscing about the time we've spent here so far, we took a lap around to see what we wanted to do. Almost instantly, we locked eyes with a sign that read: Rio Misterioso. Intrigued, we saw that it was a little boat ride and immediately knew that this should be saved as the best for last. From there, our first stop was the rollercoaster, and boy was it actually more of a thrill than we thought it would be. Not on the same level as Cedar Point, but there were some worthy drops that gave a decent adrenaline rush. We decided to split up briefly, since Izzy and Jayashree wanted to do the bumper cars and Deidra and I wanted to take on the Casa del Terror. I was surprised that Deidra wanted in on this since she's not a fan of all things spooky, but this would be her first haunted house and one at a kid's amusement park is a pretty good starter. For 3 euros, it definitely was an experience. The theme inside wasn't exactly cohesive and varied between movie theatre, jurassic park, the shining, catacombs, and skeletons playing chess. I won't name names but a certain someone was jumpscared by a door, and I almost tripped because I didn't see the stairs. Once we left, we found Jayashree and Izzy living it up in the bumper car arena and then strolled our way with anticipation to el Rio Misterioso. It was a pretty calm and scenic ride with a view of the ocean and city, just shorter than we expected it to be. The route led us into a small underpass where we saw...Peter Pan? Seeing him made me feel magical and whimsical, making for a truly life-changing boat ride. With that, I think the mysterious river really did live up to its name.

The view from the top!

My homies Pennywise and Peter Pan!

As promised, I said that I have a sneak peak into what next week's post will bring. First of all, thanks for staying this long! I really do appreciate when people read my posts and get to see what I'm doing day-to-day :). Now for the hint!

You get 5 blanks: _ _ _ _ _

It's a city in France, there's a show with my name in it and this city, and the Olympics will be taking place here this year. It's probably a dead giveaway, but still fun to guess!

See you soon,

Emily Dobao

IPE San Sebastian, Spain

July 2nd, 2024

[dzpenumbra]

4/2/23

I got lost in time watching an RP stream again. Night got away from me. I spent pretty much the entire day working on the desire path project in Blender. It's actually coming along pretty nicely. I think it's going to end up looking very close to how I was envisioning, and there's a LOT of room to customize the animations. I was thinking of having the paths themselves independently randomly flicker, like they're electric. I'm curious to see how it looks with 100 of them. I got about 30 done today.

The big standout of the day was... I went for a walk up to the pharmacy. It was about 70 degrees out. I put on my hoodie and my sunglasses and popped in my AirPods and walked the full mile uphill the entire way up to the pharmacy to find... it... closed. I have no idea why. Is April Fool's Day a fucking holiday now? Am I in fucking Bizarro Universe or something? The website said it was open until 8 and the pharmacy was open until 6, I got there around 5:30. And the whole place was closed and the parking lot was empty, and I was sweating and my shins were killing me. It was really frustrating.

When I was walking up... I came across some people that were... yeah. I mean... I don't know how to put this lightly as a person who has lived in a more rural area for like 20 years. People who made me feel... unsafe. And... in my reflection on it... I don't know if I'm just not being fair? But it was pretty overwhelming today. One guy was like... twitching as he walked, I'm guessing either tweaking or a neurological issue or something. I felt bad, I didn't want to judge. But I averted eye contact and kept a bit of a distance. I just felt like... like I was not in a good neighborhood, and I could get mugged. Again, maybe it's the AirPods that make me feel that way. I know the electric board did.

Maybe it's being alone? I think that's honestly probably a really big factor. But I did have an interesting moment, where I really felt a bit silly... I walked past two teenage girls that were just strolling down the sidewalk past me. And I was just like... these two girls are completely fine walking down here, and I'm freaking out that I'm going to get jumped on this sidewalk of a main fucking road.

And then I had a mirror-moment internally, where I was like... I'm walking up the street, with my hands in my hoodie pockets, wearing all black with sunglasses on, mid-30's male with a full beard. Am I not also one of the sketchy ones? XD Like... would I sketch out those girls?

After finding out the pharmacy was closed - some guy driving into the parking lot yelled to me to let me know, which was chill - I sat on some rocks to recover my leg strength. There was a highschool age girl alone on a bench nearby. And I was going through that whole reflection thing. Am I weirding her out being here? How is she so calm and cool with this, doesn't this feel unsafe for her?

It's hard to think of how I'm going to be functional alone in a city environment with this factor the way it is. It explains a lot.

So I might need to like... remind myself... I'm a bearded man wearing sunglasses and all black and a metal band t-shirt. And there's two teenage girls like a block ahead of me. We're on a busy main road in the middle of the day on a weekend. Why am I convinced I am the one getting robbed in this scenario?

It was at the point where I didn't want to walk on the side of the road that a convenience store was on over in that direction, because it looked like a kinda... rougher neighborhood convenience store.

So, to give myself a little slack here, let's open this up a bit. If something were to happen to me... no one would know and no one would care, really. I would take the L, give them what they want, probably my phone and headphones. I'd lose all my pictures, because apple wanted to get some extra cash out of me to store it digitally, and I didn't shell it out. The headphones, I care a bit less about. They're very nice, very helpful, very useful and practical, but not essential. And yeah, maybe my debit card or something. I'd go right home, go into crisis management with my card, and message my therapist on Betterhelp. And... that's probably it. I'd probably just order a new phone, take the loss and just... live without a phone for a few days. Which... is not the end of the world, I really don't use it a lot and the screen is cracked. And then... I'm good.

And that's the worst case scenario. Why the hell am I going to let that ruin a nice day? Why am I going to let that consume me?

Maybe it's just part of my... losing streak. I'm really just... looking around to see where the next loss is going to come from. Is it going to be my computer shitting the bed? Is my neighbor going to burst a pipe or something and water is going to leak through my ceiling and fuck up my shit? Am I going to find out that this twitching left eye for like 3-4 weeks straight wasn't stress and sleep deprivation, but actually a brain tumor? Am I going to finally get a date on one of the two apps that I literally never get matches on, and that person is going to be another manipulative trauma case that just unloads all their shit on me because I'm super supportive and nice and I listen, drain me dry and then peace out? Or worse, stay?

I'm not worried about something bad happening, I'm convinced something bad is going to happen and I'm just trying to identify what and where. And it's really hard to like... live a calm, peaceful, happy life like that.

Meanwhile, I see happy people walking on the street without a care in the world. This shit is all normal to them. They don't feel the fear like I do. It's really frustrating.

And the crazy part? I'm the least fearful one in my family. The most adventurous, the most risk-taking. And I can barely walk a mile up the road without going into survival mode.

Welp. I've been through a lot. I've seen a lot of dark shit, you know? And once that shit starts to get... real... It gets bigger. At least for me. I think it's just part of being fully emotionally in-touch. Like... I should be afraid of criminals and people who radiate bad vibes. I should be cautious. But it's so fucking visceral. That polyvagal element, you know? Maybe it's partly because of social isolation? Naw, honestly, I remember riding the subway in NYC back in... 2009? 2010? My ex and I went to the MoMA together - we went on a trip together, just the two of us, we went to where I grew up and then visited NYC proper, we saw the Tim Burton exhibit that was in the MoMA at the time. I was super overwhelmed any time we were in big groups of people. I remember being in the subway and it was just like... like that dream I had with the tigers climbing all over me, smothering me, trying to play. I have no idea how people can just... calmly be in that environment. The only times I have ever been even close was when I was on heavy doses of benzos and antidepressants. And then guess what happened? Ended up hanging out with predators and not giving a shit. Big surprise...

I don't know how to balance this, honestly. I miss nature. I feel so much more comfortable being around birds of prey and deer and foxes and snapping turtles than around fucking people.

Ugh, I'm not going to figure this out tonight. It's just upsetting, and it's something I'm just going to have to deal with regularly. And I guess today was just an especially difficult day.

Oh, and to top it off... I saw another No Skateboarding ($150 fine) sign... And it was right in the middle of the park where I was skating all winter. So... putting two-and-two together... Cops saw me skating there all winter, did not do a thing about it. Snowskates are not skateboards. But, technically, they could make a case that I was breaking the law there. If they wanted to. But they didn't. So... I think that's worth keeping in mind? My initial reaction was "oh for fuck's sake..." but my secondary reaction was, "well, I skated all winter there and no one said a damn thing, they had plenty of opportunities..." So yeah, just being real with myself here, I think the cops have bigger concerns than some guy in his mid-30's jumping around on a weird snowboard thing in the park by himself.

But... I want to round this out with good vibes, as always. I got out and got fresh air. It was a nice day. The view walking back down the hill was very pretty, seeing the river and all the old historic buildings and everything. I got a lot of exercise. I got a lot of work done on my desire path project, it's going to look way cooler than it did before so the extra work is paying off. And I made another pretty kickass chicken fried rice tonight, so that was nice.

[lokorum]

Hi! I really love your art. There's a certain haunting beauty about it. I was wondering how you got started in art and maybe what inspired you. I can't stress enough the hauntingly beautiful aspect of your art. Some pieces terrify me but they're really just so beautiful to look at 😅

hey!!! ahhhh thank you so much for your kind words, anon!! its a relief to know that im not the only one who finds my silly draiwings scary phphp

i've started to draw just like most of the folk i think?? by filling my university notebooks with super funny-looking and super anatomically incorrect sketches of my beloved oc phph i tried to work with oil but zero waste movement quickly got me and since then im drawing digital stuff only.

missing the feeling of paint on your hands face clothes and sometimes eyes tbh but also wow oil is expensive!! Σ(-᷅_-᷄๑)

phphpt my memory is bad. like bad bad. i remember having that burning feeling when i looked at something beautiful and i wanted to like...eat it? make it myself and no one elses? not very practical reply phphp sorry! i also really loved to watch film that i've already mentioned before - macbeth (2015) - its a treat for your eyes and ears trust me!! trailer still giving me a goosebombs!

zdzislaw beksinski live in my head rent free since i was a pre-teen and im 1000% sure i'll die thinking about one of his paintings somewhere at the back of my mind. just look at this! man knew how to use a brush like no one else (´ ˘ `).｡oO ( ♡ )

sigur rós music and video clips are definetelly changed a lot in me. watching ekki múkk and all alright made me choke from tears and be speechless for days!

later in life i accidentaly went on the concert where at night - jambinai was part of the perfomance and their music hypnotized me just like all the moths around were hypnotized by the stage lights. i dont even remember what i was doing! just standing there absolutely still, looking at them playing phphp i probably looked like a creppy stalker (◞ꈍ∇ꈍ)◞⋆**✚⃞

but they make incredibly beautiful and sad music, and their connection song, if i get the meaning of it right, about people with disabilities and it always was important theme for me ♡

from lately discovered sources of inspiration can reccomend little games i found on itch!

2:22 AM, how we know we're alive and NORTH!

they're all pretty short from 20 minutes to 2 hours, but use every minute of their time!

ahhh hope it wasnt too much of an info dump and maybe someone find a familiar name here or discover something new for themselves! thank you again anon for your super cute and nice ask!! and thanks everyone to reading all this mess! have an awesome day!! |´･ｖ･)ﾉ♪

[rocketonin]

wait no I need to hear more about this kid au!! Do you have any other ideas for it you feel like sharing possibly 👀

Feel free to ignore me but questions because ur au is making me happy stim, Whats the whole Steven situation? Do the kids look up to Becky, like how close are they to her? Where are the botsfords? Is Maria a baby energy monster? Is amazo guy in this au? Are the other townspeople swapped ages or is it just the main people? KAFHJAJD I love this idea

OH MY GOD OK TYSM FOR THE ASK!!!!!

1. Basically the elementary keeps the villain kids in one class kinda just to keep them from the other classes i guess??? so Steven wasn’t in Becky’s class at first but he usually stayed behind after school in the science classroom and often would run into becky (even though he’s not her teacher) but he’d help her with things bc he stays after school for a while before he would go home. ANYWAY squeaky is the science class pet or whatever and people wpuld take him home sometimes yknow? so steven takes him home and he’s making up a lab or whatever (they normally don’t let kids do this but steven has rlly good grades and is skipping levels) but he has like a lab accident or something idk how science works yall tell me but basically everything else happens as it does in the og show ie he’s different after the lab accident and he gets moved to the villain classroom. situation still sucks in this version poor steven :(

2. OF COURSE they just don’t admit it bc theyre villains and they all think they have to be mean or whatever but even though they stress her out sometimes they still rlly respect her as teacher (they might have blown up her desk or smth though LMAO) i wish i could write better about it rn but i might make a fic abt this and i’ll explore it more idk maybe!! i’m terrible at making things quickly esp writing. but yeah i imagine they like becky she puts in a lot of effort to try to teach them (and also stop the gaggle of hooligans from commiting crimes but they don’t really know that she’s word girl except maybe two brains) they just won’t rlly admit it but there’s definitely a few moments where they do something nice for her

3.IMO the botsfords moved with becky they just don’t live with her but they visit sometimes and even walk into the classroom uninvited probably. also TJ’s in college but also still in fair city

4. OH MY GOD YES i imagine she just looks like this permanently

5. I havent rlly thought about it but idk if he’ll fit in the au. If you have any ideas though for amazo guy i’d love to hear them!!!

6. Just the main people actually bc I don’t know how to make some of it make sense in the universe yknow?? but also i’m super lazy LMAO

ALSO HERE’S SOME MORE SKETCHES

two brains definitely knew the f word before he had an evil mouse brain squeaky did not relay that information to him he just enabled it lmao

[whatifyoulivelikethat]

calculated, m | jjk

pairing(s): jungkook x reader

summary: Some people would call you far too serious. Some would call you stuck-up. And some would call you a bitch. But to freshman Jeon Jungkook, you’re the head Calculus I TA noona  – and he’s determined to fuck you.

warnings: rated M (18+) for language; intense smut (fem reader, semi-public sex, pussy spanking, fingering, m-receiving oral, doggy, dirty talk); non-idol!AU - university!AU; dom!Jungkook x sub!noona!reader, ft instigator Jimin lol

--

part i | part ii | part iii | part iv

-

"I think Jungkook likes you."

The lead of your mechanical pencil snapped suddenly. Stupid soft graphite. You glared at it, annoyed, and brushed the broken piece away to complete the equation. 

"Who?"

"I think he's taking the afternoon class."

You double-checked the last question and handed him his homework back. "Jimin, you used the wrong equation, here and here."

Park Jimin frowned, face falling when he saw all your corrections. Being one of your parents' friends' kids, your parents and his parents naturally asked you to help him out when he entered the same university as you. You pretty much figured the likelihood of Jimin speaking to you was zero, since he was a dance major and you were a graphics design major. You shrugged and agreed.

Except you forgot you were also the head Calculus I TA and Calculus I was a required course for all students. And, turns out, Jimin wasn't that great at math. That's why you were sitting on cushions at your coffee table in your apartment with Park Jimin, watching a music program as you checked his homework.

"Oh."

Jimin began to look over your arrows and circles. You never actually gave him the answer. He usually ended up forgetting a step in the middle and thus fucked the answer. Usually he caught on easily once you pointed it out. 

You stared at the television screen, listening to the latest hit. Not bad. Catchy. 

"I think I should tell you because he's kind of reckless," Jimin was saying.

You placed a hand under your head and took a sip of your tea, distracted by the cute MC with the blue hair. He had a cute smile. It reminded you of a bunny.

"Who?"

"Jeon Jungkook," Jimin snapped impatiently.

You raised an eyebrow and faced Jimin. "Oi. I'm correcting your homework here. I could just correct it tomorrow and hand it back to you with red marks instead," you threatened.

He pouted at you, his full lower lip sticking out. "Sorry, noona."

You sighed. "Don't call me that. Makes me feel ancient." You turned your body so you faced him as he scowled at his homework. "Okay, okay, I'm listening now. What did you want to say?"

Jimin put his pencil down immediately and began to chat like an excited gossiping auntie. Round brown eyes getting rounder, glad for a break from his math homework. You didn't want to get him started, but he was going to nag you incessantly until you let him talk.

"I think he sits in the back?" Jimin pondered. "Dark longish hair, wears a lot of black. Looks scary when he's thinking because his eyes go really wide and he furrows his brows."

You twisted your mouth to the side and thought. You only attended the class when they had quizzes or exams because during lectures the professor didn't need your help. Mostly you remembered people by their personal scores or their handwriting, because you graded everything as the head TA. Looking at people's faces wasn't really necessary, unless you were looking for cheating. 

"Can't recall. I remember his handwriting though. Not bad," you said, shrugging. "I think he's pretty highly ranked at the moment."

"I think he likes you."

You scoffed. "How did you come to that consensus?"

Jimin tapped his temple sagely. "Intuition."

"If only you used that intuition on Calculus."

He frowned at you, pouting again. You let out a puff of air, conceding.

"What do you want me to do about it?"

Jimin scratched the back of his head. "Well, er... I'm just warning you."

"... Is he a serial killer or something?"

"No, no, no!" Jimin waved his hands on the air hurriedly. "He's really nice. But he can be kind of, uh... forward."

"How old is he?" you asked, glancing at the television for a moment as you took another long sip of your tea.

"Two years younger than me."

You choked. 

"What?" you squeaked between coughs. Jimin hurried over and patted your back as you struggled, becoming pink in the face. "The fuck? Tell him to find someone his own age."

"I did!" Jimin whined. "But he's stubborn."

You rolled your eyes. "You're warning me that I have to break a poor freshman's heart?"

"Kind of."

You rubbed your throat. "Hmph. Darn whippersnappers these days."

Jimin smacked your arm, laughing. "I thought you weren't ancient?"

"I am now knowing some kid is fantasizing about their fucking Calculus TA."

You had said your comment sarcastically. You fully expected Jimin to make some joke, but he froze up a little. You looked over to him. He looked somewhat guilty, like a lost puppy who got caught stealing food. You sighed and patted his back.

"Don't worry, I won't chew your friend's heart out. Finish your homework, so I don't drop you off too late. You have practice in the morning, yeah?"

"Y-yeah, thanks."

-

Forward, huh?

An understatement. 

You were sitting in one of the math department offices, laptop open, your drawing tablet in your lap, thinking. The conversation with Jimin happened about two days ago. In that time, you hadn't attended either morning or afternoon class yet, since it was only lectures. Not that it mattered, because lecture halls were massive. If this Jungkook kid sat in the back, then you probably wouldn't be able to see him anyway. At the moment, however, you were preoccupied with your assignment, to design a logo. Logo designing was difficult, especially since a school assignment didn't exactly have a real client attached to it to ask questions. 

Technically these were Calculus I office hours, but who attended office hours? Nobody.

Who attended any type of calculus office hours?

Yeah, exactly. 

You spent the time doing homework with the door open. You were the only TA that actually showed up for the office hours. Every other TA said it was a waste of time. It was. You still came through; in the off chance some poor kid decided her grade mattered. You felt bad since the actual professor wasn't very patient when people needed extra help. Also, technically you were the head TA, so you did have a bit more responsibility than the others.

Your black boots were perched on the desk as you sat back in your office chair, sketching a few ideas. If a member of the math department saw you, you would probably get in trouble. Thankfully, the math department was usually deserted. Math wasn't exactly the most social subject. 

You took a sip of your tea from your thermos, tapping your tablet pen on your black jean-covered thigh. 

"You look even better close-up, noona."

A clear, silvery, male voice cut through the silence. The voice came from the doorframe right in front of the desk. You frowned, slowly lifting your head from your tablet. How had you not heard him? Were you really that focused on your assignment?

Chucky black sneakers. Black cargo pants, slim fit. Distressed black sweater, hands casually in his pockets. Broad shoulders. Lightly tanned skin. Sharp jawline. A tiny mole under a mischievous smile. Your eyes narrowed as you made eye contact with those sparkling dark brown orbs. Long hair slicked back, with only a few wispy strands on his forehead. 

"Calculus I question?" was your response. 

His smile quirked a little higher. The young man didn't have a backpack with him. Didn't even have a piece of paper stuck under his arm. Wasn't even trying to pretend that he needed help.

"I have questions."

He didn't elaborate. You lowered your legs, placing your tablet on your laptop. 

"This is Calculus I office hours. For calculus questions only."

His eyes flickered to your laptop and tablet. Back to you. 

"Is this what the TAs should be doing during office hours?"

Suddenly, you could feel your pulse in your ears. Point taken.

"What do you want?"

He slid into the chair across from the desk, hands still in his pockets. Watching you carefully, still smiling thoughtfully. It should have been unnerving, but there was no malice in that smile. Maybe you were imagining it though, so you kept your guard up. 

"I'm Jeon Jungkook."

Yeah, I guessed, you thought wryly. "And my name is on the syllabus. What do you want?"

He tilted his head at you, studying your face. 

"How do you know Jimin-ssi?"

Isn't Jimin older than you, punk? "Our parents are friends."

He nodded slowly. He looked around the windowless office, at the three papers tacked to the wall – outdated notices – to the still open door, to the desk with your laptop, tablet, and backpack. Then to you, sitting back in the black office chair, eyebrow raised, hands half-in the sleeves of your gray flannel, cropped black sweater underneath. 

"I think you're beautiful, noona."

Your brain winced at the compliment and your hormones looked up from the abyss. Your brain scolded them to go back to their hidey-hole. You clicked your tongue. 

"I'm too old for you."

There was an ever-so-slight tick of his head. His eyes shifted downward and then flicked back up to you, almost shyly, if it wasn't for the small smirk dancing on his lips. 

"We both know such a mindset is outdated."

You felt your breath catch in your throat. The fuck? Your hormones peeked out again. Your brain was too distracted with trying to find a comeback to tell them to fuck off. You figured you better cut this off right now before it went too far. 

"This whole conversation is inappropriate," you said evenly, standing up from the chair and rolling it back. You walked around the desk and stood in front of it, balancing your ass against it. You crossed your arms over your breasts. "You should leave."

He slowly, slowly gazed up at you. Why did he look so satisfied? Your heart did a little three beat skip. Stop it. Keep it together. Jungkook got to his feet, hands still in his pockets. Then he pulled them out and pushed his sleeves up.

Oh?

Tattoos ran up his right arm, the beginnings of a sleeve. Ink black against light tan, flexed muscle. He was not a skinny pretty boy. You were so busy staring at his arms that you barely registered him placing them casually on either side of you, face right next to yours. Now you were staring down at his broad chest, at his black distressed sweater.

"Excuse me?" you snapped testily, lifting your head to look into his smug eyes. 

"I won't touch you," Jungkook murmured quietly. "Unless you ask me to."

This punk ass bitch.

You narrowed your eyes. "What makes you think I would?"

That small teasing smile came back. 

"Well, for one, you haven't actually told me you have absolutely no interest yet."

Your hormones prodded you excitedly. Your brain told them to shut up. Your eyes moved to the open door behind his head, looking into the empty hall, trying to keep a balanced, even tone. It came out a little sharper than you intended.

"Door's wide open."

"Embarrassed to be seen with me?" Jungkook purred, breath on your cheek. 

You tried not to react even though your hormones were fucking losing it. "What about you?" you shot back sharply. 

You heard Jungkook chuckle. "Fuck no I'm not." Your heart jerked heading the crude word come out so daintily and casually from his lips. "I want to be seen with you. All the time. In every position." 

You finally tore your eyes from the open door to give him the side-eye. "Real big words there."

Jungkook smirked. "I'm giving you a chance to tell me no. It's taking everything in me not to bend you over this desk right now and fuck your brains out."

You sucked in a breath. Accidentally. Not on purpose. There's absolutely no way Jungkook would have noticed unless he was literally right next to you. Which he was. Shit. He leaned in closer, still not actually touching you. 

"You like that idea?" he breathed, the lust evident in his voice, not even trying to hide it. 

"I am not some easy bitch at the club, Jungkook. This is the fucking math department," you scolded, eye-level to the base of his neck, wanting very badly to make out with it.

Now it was his turn to inhale sharply. He pulled his head back, and now you were face-to-face with those dark, dark eyes, falling, falling, your body screaming at you to do more. And still you didn’t, torn between reason and instinct.

"I'm so pissed," he growled, breath against your lips. "That the first time I hear you say my name, I wasn't watching your pretty lips form it."

Those few strands brushed against his exposed forehead, framing his furrowed brow and those intense dark brown eyes, making you breathless, telling you that you should, even though the last shreds of reason were telling you, do not, do not, do not give in to Jeon Jungkook. 

"It's the middle of the damn day," you murmured.

"And you make me horny every second of every day," he groaned, so close now that his nose almost touched yours. "With your stem stare, your assertive stride, your well-spoken words, and your beautiful body that demands to be kissed, loved, fucked." He panted, shoulders shaking. "God, I want you under me so bad. You have no idea, noona."

Resolve? Hello, where are you?

You raised an eyebrow. "You think you're enough for me?"

His dark eyes gleamed. 

"I know I am."

Your eyes flickered to the open door, the vacant hall, feeling Jungkook's body heat hovering so close, so close to you, and then you shifted your eyes back to him. Your brain was screaming at you and your hormones bonked your brain silent. The words at the tip of your tongue came tumbling out, nothing to hold them back anymore. 

"Let's see."

And then you kissed him.

Jungkook’s reaction was immediate, his large hands leaving the desk, grabbing your waist, ramming his crotch into you. You gasped against his soft lips and he slid his tongue inside, playing with yours, moaning, kissing you hungrily. His fingers pressed into you through your clothes, strong, tight, unforgiving. Your eyes flew open, surprised at his eagerness. He retreated his tongue and nipped at your lower lip, sucking on it lightly. You shivered, feeling him lift you onto the desk, pushing your legs open with his hips, grinding against you. He kissed down your chin, lifting your head impatiently, moaning against your skin. Every gentle kiss a jolt to your system, contrasting with his rough hands kneading your waist, pulling you close against his firm body, the fucking desk cutting into your thighs, eyelids fluttering.

There was movement at the door.

You froze.

Jungkook’s lips latched onto your neck, sucking sharply. You choked back a wanton moan, seeing a familiar face. A familiar, plump smile with cute, lovely eyes. He waved a small hand at you and reached for the doorknob, locking it from the inside before winking at you and closing the door silently.

Park fucking Jimin.

That bas–

Your thought was sharply cut off by Jungkook nipping at your throat, hissing as he rolled his hips into your thigh, a distinct bulge pressing into you. He yanked down the front of your sweater, sucking on the space right between your collarbones. You whimpered and shuddered, wrapping a leg around his waist and hooking him towards you, hands finally leaving your chest and grabbing his, fingers getting caught in the holes of his sweater.

“Fuck,” he growled. “I’m so fucking hard already because you’re so fucking hot.”

You caught yourself against the desk, elbow slamming onto the wood. You winced. “I haven’t done shit,” you said, surprised to feel your lips slightly swollen.

Jungkook grinned. “You don’t have to. Just you below me is enough.”

You glared at him and he bent over the desk, grabbing the back of your head, pushing your face to his, kissing you again, stealing your breath. It was the perfect mix of force and desperation, leaving you yielding, back arching as he sucked on your tongue, bobbing his head up and down slightly to pull on it. You tried not to make noise – everything was already too noisy anyway – only crying out softly when he let you go. Now you were on your elbows with Jungkook towering over you, licking his lips, the spare strands now stuck to his exposed forehead. His eyes roamed over your body before landing back on your face. You gave him your best questioning look.

He chuckled darkly. “I want to rip all your clothes off, but something tells me you will be upset with me.”

You narrowed your eyes. “Because this is still the middle of the math department, let me remind you, Jungkook.” You huffed. “I don’t live here. Don’t get crazy.”

He grinned, leaning forward. “Say my name again, noona. God, let me watch your delicious lips speak my fucking name.”

You raised your eyebrows. Then you felt his hands on your jeans, undoing the button, making you jump. The zipper going down, down. He yanked at the seam, digging it into your already wet pussy, shoving your panties into your slit.

“A-ah, Jungkook…”

Oh fuck. That sounded kind of pathetic.

He bit his lower lip, and yanked again.

“J-Jungkook, ah…” Your eyelids fluttered, trying to keep your strict demeanor.

“Fuck,” he hissed, firmly gripping the waistband of your jeans and pulling them down your ass, half-dragging your panties down. “You like that, noona? Do you want me to be rough with you?”

You prayed to the higher power that he would just take the damn hint and not make you say it. But Jungkook was dragging your panties back up, the thin black fabric being sucked into your folds and ass as he pulled them far too high. You gasped, trying not to look down, trying not to look at his face. But he grabbed your chin, dragging you back to him, making you open your glazed eyes, making you see his excited expression.

“Look at me, noona.”

Fuck, fuck, fuck.

Jungkook held the front of your panties and pulled, hard. You had to choke back a moan, the fabric nearly ripping, rubbing harshly against your clit. You felt the squelch of you getting wetter, hearing it clearly as he yanked at it, stimulating your clit.

“Tell me you don’t like it, noona,” Jungkook whispered hotly, letting go of your chin. “Tell me and I’ll stop.”

You spread your legs involuntarily, trying very hard not to make a fucking sound, but it was already obvious by your fists clenched against the desk, your widespread legs, and your pussy lips practically sucking your panties in, so much so that they nearly disappeared into you.

Jungkook snuck a glance down, gasping softly at your glistening pussy being tortured by your panties. He dropped to his knees and you had only one second to be confused before Jungkook’s tongue licked up your slit. You had to slap a hand over your mouth to avoid crying out, leaving your sounds limited to muffled whimpers as he lapped at your juices, groaning into you. Your entire lower body vibrated as he teased your covered clit, smushing the fabric into your deeper, rougher. Your hips strained, trying to hump his face but only digging your panties into you harder.

You removed your hand from your face, biting on your tongue to regain some semblance of thought so you fucking talk.

“T-take it off…” you gasped. You looked down, seeing his mischievous eyes above your quivering mound, licking his lips slowly, pink tongue tracing the contours of his mouth.

Jungkook raised his hand.

Smack!

This time you had to actually shove to knuckles into your mouth and mute your squeal as pain radiated through you, your pussy stinging. He slapped you again, right on your clit, hard, making your throw your head back and nearly hit the desk, hips raising to meet him. Oh, God. He pressed his finger against your aching clit, rubbing hard, standing up to bend over you, an impossibly strong presence as he pleasured you.

“Say it, noona,” he breathed. “Tell me you like getting your pussy spanked.”

He was rubbing your clit so hard that you felt your hips raise into it, eyes rolling back into your head.

“Say it or I’ll stop,” he warned menacingly, voice so low it ripped through you.

You tore your knuckles out of your mouth. “Don’t stop, please, fuck, Jungkook, I love it when you spank my clit, fuck, please, fuck.” The words came jumbling out in a rushed, half-panicked whisper, cut off by your sharp gasp as your orgasm clawed into you. You felt Jungkook slap his free hand over your mouth, shutting off your wail as your throbbed into his hand, turning into helpless whines as he spanked your clit hard and fast, accentuating your high with waves of sudden, aching pain. You pushed his hand away, pressing your head against the desk, gasping.

“Harder, please, Jungkook, harder.”

He was staring at your fucked-out face, massaging your throbbing pussy with his palm, coating his fingers with your cum. Your voice a thin moan, hips rutting into him.

“Believe me, I want to,” he snarled. “I want to so fucking bad, noona, but we’re already loud enough and you’re making a fucking mess.”

He pulled your panties down, nearly useless at this point and roughly shoved two fingers into you. You gasped, tongue lolling out and he took the chance to put two fingers of his free hand into your mouth, rubbing your wet tongue. You could feel every joint, the calluses of his fingertips as he thrust them into you, slopping, wet sounds accompanying his movements.

“Fuck, look at you, noona, sucking in my fingers, letting me fuck your mouth,” Jungkook murmured, centimeters away from your face. “I haven’t even fucked you with my cock yet and you’re already taking me so well.”

If you could think, you probably would have a snappy response, but Jungkook was stuffing his fingers into your mouth and scissoring the others inside your pussy, driving you insane. You made eye contact with Jungkook, him and his blown-out pupils, his lips trembling as he rammed his fingers into your holes faster, harder, sliding you up the wooden desk. Something inside you snapped and you squeezed your eyes shut, your body shaking as you came again, trying to yell, but unable to because Jungkook shoved his fingers into your throat, making you almost choke if it wasn’t for your own expertise. An embarrassing amount of liquid poured down his hand and wrist, dripping down your thighs. You clamped your legs shut, burying his hand, hips jerking as the aftershocks rippled through you.

You heard Jungkook swallow loudly, jaw tight. He slowly pulled his fingers out of both holes, strings of bodily fluid following him as he did so. Your shaking knees were barely holding your lower body up, jeans constricting your calves and your upper body way too fucking hot.

You laid back on the wood, trying to catch your breath. Was it a fucking cliché? Probably. You felt Jungkook lift himself off the desk and you closed your eyes, chest heaving. Of course. He was just going to leave you like this, tearing your secret out of you and then leaving to boast about how he turned the head Calculus I TA into a helpless, submissive puddle of goo without even actually fucking you. Why did you even bother–

You suddenly felt the desk creak and snapped your eyes open to Jungkook climbing onto it, straddling your chest, unzipping his pants right in front of your face. His slicked hair was becoming unfurled now, more and more dark strands falling down around his ears. His brow furrowed, eyes so wide and focused you weren’t even sure he was actually looking at you.

“Uh–”

He reached in his black boxer briefs impatiently and pulled out his thick, leaking cock. Your eyes widened and his found yours, glittering with arousal. A smear of pre-cum grazed your cheek as he adjusted his position to push the red, bulbous tip against your lips.

“I want to fuck you, noona, but you have to clean me up,” Jungkook breathed, gently asking you but also trying to greedily push his dick into your mouth.

You could say something, but somehow you concluded you were going to be muffled anyway, so you opened your mouth, tongue snaking out and licking the head. Flat, wide, and all over, coating your tongue with his pre-cum, moaning at his taste. Jungkook sunk his teeth into his lower lip, hissing softly as he spread his legs even more, lowering himself slowly into your mouth. You licked around his cock before closing your lips and sucking, growing wet as he thrust his hips into your mouth, slow and steady, eyes closed. You reached up to hold onto his thighs, whimpering as you felt his muscular quads through his pants. He opened his eyes and looked down at you, sliding his cock in a little deeper, hitting the back of your throat.

“Fuck, noona, so fucking sexy, taking my cock like that,” he groaned, reaching down and pushing your hair out of your eyes. His dark hair hung down, framing his face in shadow, making your pussy throb at the image. “Makes me want to fill all your holes up, makes me want to coat you with my cum and see you covered in it, messy and dirty with me.”

You couldn’t say anything so you just whined, nails digging into his covered thighs.

“You want that?” His voice dropped several octaves again. Your skin prickled hotly with every word. “You want me to jack off all over you and leave you a mess covered with my cum?”

You squeezed your thighs together, desperate for friction, now moving your head to suck harder, rubbing the tip fiercely against the back of your throat.

“F-fuck,” he gritted out. He tapped your hand hurriedly, eyelids fluttering. “S-stop, stop.” You whimpered, sadly looking up at him. He chuckled, rubbing your knuckles soothingly.

Look here you little shit, you can’t say all that dirty stuff and not expect me to be horny, your eyes were telling him.

“I know, I know,” he purred. “But I want to fuck your pussy and office hours are almost over…”

You glowered at him, but reluctantly unhinged your jaw, opening your lips. He slid out, gasping, hitting you in the chin and getting the front of your sweater wet.

“You’re a jerk,” you muttered as he climbed off you.

Jungkook chuckled. “Sorry, noona.”

You shook your hair and reached into your backpack, pulling out a condom, only to turn around and see Jungkook pulling one out of his back pocket.

“Oh.” You blinked at him. “You’re prepared.”

Jungkook wiggled his eyebrows. “I knew what I was coming for.”

A muscle in your brow twitched as he tucked his tongue in his cheek, grinning widely at you as he ripped it open and slid it on slowly, rolling it down his thick cock. His voice changed, dipping raspy and low.

“Turn around.”

Part of you wanted to fight, but then you spied the time. You rolled onto your stomach, sighing exaggeratedly as your legs tangled a bit in your jeans. You felt Jungkook’s presence behind you as he bent over your back, hand sliding over your lips and covering your mouth.

“Sigh all you want, noona,” he growled, chuckling as you shivered. “Just don’t scream when I’m fucking you.”

Your eyes widened as you felt the head press against your puffy pussy lips, pushing in forcefully, expanding your tight little hole as his cock entered you, his moan against your ear, your name dripping with lust. Both of you still mostly clothed, but his cock sliding deep, deep inside you, his teeth on your earlobe. Your walls throbbed around him, squeezing him. He gasped, jutting his hips experimentally into you. A stifled moan sneaked past his fingers, your tongue licking them lightly.

“That’s it,” he breathed. “Nice and tight for me, bent over this desk.” He nipped at your ear, whispering softly as he began to fuck you. “What if someone hears you, whimpering for my cock, begging to be fucked?”

Your hands clenched into fists, eyes fluttering shut, feeling him pound you into the wood, deep and slow and far too perfect.

“Noona, what if someone sees you?” His voice like smoke, invading all your thoughts, threatening your dreams, cursing you with the feeling of his lips on your ear and his hips pounding your ass. “Proper, harsh, strict noona turning into a slut for this cock, bent over this desk and humping my hips so you can get this dick deeper inside you?”

You squeezed your eyes shut and wiggled your ass against his cock. He thrust his hips harder into you, jerking you forcefully upwards, your thighs smacking against the desk. Light flickered in front of your closed eyelids and you opened them, seeing your phone screen glaring at you. A message from Jimin. Finish already! You struggled to say his name and Jungkook lifted his hand for a moment to hear your shaking breath.

“Jungkook,” you panted. “Time.”

He covered your mouth again. “You’re right,” he grunted, rolling his hips into you, biting back his moans as you clenched around him. The wet, slapping sounds became louder as he changed his angle, fucking you roughly into the table. It pushed your hips up and you clung onto the edge of the desk, moaning around his hand, tongue pressed flat against his palm as he fucked you with reckless abandon, beating a damn indent of the edge of the desk into your thighs. The dull ache was going to lead to a bruise, but you didn’t care, pushing your hips back to meet him. A choked wail vibrated in your throat as you came again, whole body lurching as he sunk his teeth into your clothed shoulder, groaning as he came inside you, cock twitching and throbbing against your walls. You felt the condom expand, matched with Jungkook’s hiss as he pumped into you. You pulsed your pussy around him and he detached his mouth, whispering your name against your ear.

“You’re dirty, noona,” he rasped, the words so breathless they made you shiver. “I love it.”

You shakily reached up and peeled his hand from your mouth, gasping as he straightened to hold the condom and pull out of you. Fuck. Oh fuck. You scrambled for your phone, seeing Jimin’s text.

You better rush outta there, noona.

You heard the wet, peeling sound of Jungkook pulling the used condom off gingerly. You turned around, hissing at Jungkook before he threw it in the trash.

“Are you crazy?” you muttered, snatching it from him. “Someone will see.”

Jungkook blinked at you. “What else do I do with it?”

You glared at him and tied it up, grabbing some tissues and wrapping it inside. Then you shoved it in your backpack, along with your laptop, your tablet, the spare condom, and reaching over the desk to unplug your laptop’s AC adaptor so you could shove that in your bag too.

“Fuck, your ass is so sexy,” Jungkook marveled behind you.

“Jungkook, we have to get the fuck out of here, so pack your damn dick,” you ordered, yanking your jeans up. Squelch. You sucked in your lower lip in at the cold, uncomfortable sensation of your soaked panties. You zipped your bag and checked around the desk to make sure you took everything. You grabbed your phone and shoved it in your back pocket, turning around to see Jungkook rezipping his pants. Thank God. You might have been tempted if he hadn’t listened to you. Then you remembered the two bits of condom wrapping on the floor and picked those up too, shoving them in your other pocket.

Jungkook smirked at you. “So thorough, noona.”

You scowled at him. Maybe he hadn’t been in this situation before, but you sure as hell have.

“Stay here for twenty seconds and then leave.”

Jungkook pouted at you. You felt your heart skip a beat.

“But I don’t even have your number.”

You rolled your eyes. “Ask Jimin. You two are in cahoots anyway.” You popped your head out, looking around. No one. You popped your head back in. “Also, you owe me new panties the next time I see your smug little face, you punk,” you added, tone irate.

He smirked at you; his long dark hair wispy around his playful eyes.

You gave him one last look before you tore your eyes away, rushing through every back stairway to get the hell out of there before someone could realize you just fucked a freshman during office hours, your slopping, torn-up panties reminding you with every step that you really needed Jeon Jungkook to fuck you again.

-

part ii

--

masterpost

[m0r1bund]

[Image: A sketch page of some sort of space marine lookin’ gal gone monster. She’s top-heavy with big ‘ol claws, like a werewolf, but if a werewolf had her face fused with a gas mask and a bunch of cybernetics. frayed wires and tubes dangle from her head, neck, spine, and ribs, forming a motile mane. In one drawing she wears a duster full of bulletholes that’s a few sizes too short for her, brandishing an oversized pistol with a blade attached to it.

Accompanying her is a research assistant who looks friendly enough, if a bit in over her head. She’s tall, lightly armored, and wears her hair up in a wavy ponytail. She seems to be much more ‘analog’ than her cohort, wearing glasses and a relatively simple prosthetic leg.

In another drawing, the R.A. holds her hat over her head, shielding herself from the rain. She shares a moment with the soldier, apparently before her transformation;

R.A.: God I miss my mom. You ever miss your folks, chief?

Chief: I was grown in a vat. ]

◆

*plastering my deranged little drawings on the wall* I Can Explain.

So a ~week ago, I had a dream about this Warhammer 40k-ass space marine who saves the life of a scrawny little research assistant, but pays the ultimate price and gets infected with the Diseases and the Sicknesses, which turn her into a shambling biomechanical monster. But the two of them are in love! And they are saved through the power of love, and also the power of dodging the draft.  

Somehow, this activated the part of my brain that has lain dormant since I was like 9 years old, when I’d use my brother’s copy of WH40k: Dawn of War to act out trilogy-length adventure stories. I’ve been thinking a Normal Amount about these two women and drawing shitty little comics ever since.

◆

I guess since this is the first doodle in the batch it would be good to introduce these two.

The Chief is like… She’s exactly what you’d expect from someone who has been groomed from birth to be a living weapon for an imperial regime. She has a lot of deprogramming to do. But she’s remarkably agreeable and even pretty well-intentioned, if you can get past the gruff exterior and the bonkers yonkers internal moral code that was drilled into her. Really, you get the sense that something in her is pushing back against all this, despite every effort to wire her otherwise…

The R.A. comes from a podunk little desert planet. Its people are so “backwards” and “uncivilized,” the land so “hostile,” that the extent of their relationship with the Empire is a yearly tithe that they forget to collect most years. This is, of course, code for “people who live in a desert in a non-sessile way that doesn’t align with settler expectations, and as fortune would have it, they’re spared the strife of ‘civilization’ in their invisibility and the perceived uselessness of their lands.”

The rest of the deployment considers her a luddite from a backwater shithole. She’s fine with this. In reality, she’s a polymath at heart, and is a talented mechanic, engineer, and general techie. She just happens to know enough about the Empire that she does Not want their technology anywhere near her body, thank you! Sometimes she feels like the only one in the universe who has gone outside and touched grass, and it’s driving her banana sandwich. But she’s not about to tell the shambling instruments of war called her coworkers that there’s, like, actual plants and stuff back home. That would be bad.

Well, maybe she’d tell one person. But only if she asks really really nicely.

[pars-ley]

hi! i just came across your page the other day and i’ve read all of your drabbles and stories multiple times lol! so for my ask, i would love it if you did a college AU with popularjock!jk and have it be similar to the movie ‘A Cinderella Story’. some angst with smut and a happy ending if possible! oh and bestfriendjimin! as well :) hope this is not too much to request! ily

At the stroke of Midnight

Pairing: Jungkook x f reader

Summary: One popular boy + One 'uncool' girl + One school dance + One necklace left behind = A cinderella story.

Genre: Angst / Fluff / Smut / Cinderella au / A Cinderella story au / comedy / popular jock jungkook / best friend Jimin

Warnings: Suggestive language / sex 

Rating: 18+ (NSFW)

Word Count: 4k

Beta reader: @casuallyimagining

A/N: I am so sorry this has taken me so long! I had no clue about this film, so writing this entailed some research and me watching the movie...twice haha. I really hope I did it justice for you and you enjoy it. Thank you for the request!

"So, what's prince charming saying now that's so much more important than your best friend?" Jimin pouts, rolling his eyes exaggeratedly.

You flush slightly. "He wants to meet." Grimacing at the words.

"And that's a problem, why?" 

You bury your head in your hands. "Because I'm me and I'm certainly no one special, what if he's disappointed?" You groan, the dilemma churning your gut and making you feel like your breakfast could make a second appearance.

"Hey," Jimin scoots closer to you along the bench and throws an arm around your shoulder. "No best friend of mine gets away with speaking about herself like that. You are lovely, and if he thinks you're anything other than amazing, there's something wrong with him and he needs to be studied in a lab." 

You laugh in spite of yourself, hearing Jimin’s words rattle around in your brain, knowing that you should not be this hard on yourself. You lean into his snug embrace.

You open up Tumblr and stare at the conversation between you and @gameoverguk. Your favourite gaming blog you’ve followed for ages, by chance seeing your gaming fan art and following you back was one thing, but conversing with him and finding out that he also attended your school was a completely different matter. Trying to solve the equation of who this mysterious creator might be is harder than you thought. And the way he converses with you, so open and honest and sweet, that had to narrow it down surely?

Something slams into your back, pain immediately in its wake. You and Jimin turn to see the popular boy of your university, Jungkook, gawking at you and his best friend Taehyung in hysterics. 

Jimin looks down in the grass behind you at the offending apple and calls, “Hey, watch it guys.”

“Really sorry!” Jungkook calls over, a slight dusting of scarlet across his cheeks but looks like he’s also fighting a laugh. It burns you how someone so smug can still be so handsome, and you hate yourself for even thinking about him in any way other than the airhead jock that he is. 

Taehyung jogs over and picks it up, still somewhat amused. “What, didn’t your crystal ball tell you that was gonna happen?” He says to you, loud enough for everyone in a mile radius to hear.

You cringe inwardly, attempting to fight your embarrassment.

“Aren’t you supposed to be one of the top athletes in this university? And you can’t even catch an apple.” Jimin snarks in your defense.

His face drops as he looks like he’s about to take a step towards you both.

“Tae!” Jungkook calls, an air of command in his voice, breaking the tense air as he looks away from you ruefully. Walking off with Taehyung following, eating his apple and laughing between bites.

“Ignore them.” Jimin says sternly. “Speaking of, are you working tonight?”

Your face falls into an unamused expression, as if he even had to ask.

You were working so much you were almost taking residence at your step-mums 'magic shop', as everyone called it.

He smiles at you, his nose wrinkling, and you can’t help your face softening.

“Ok, ok, my bad. Can I swing by later? I need some more incense.”

You shrug, grabbing your bag and chucking it over your shoulder. “Sure. I’d be glad of the company to be honest.”

“Ooooh, maybe we could do a seance?” 

You glare at him and head off to class causing his melodious laugh to ring out around you.

Sitting in the bleachers after class, with your sketchpad and pencil, the perfect view of the city line and the departing sun staring back at you, you sketch away. The pencil etching fast across your paper as you manage to block out the sounds of the team practicing and their bodies crashing against each other.

Long after you've lost yourself in your landscape, fingers grey and shiny from shading, you neglect to hear some of the team members leaving, climbing over the seats and headed in your direction. That is until your pad is snatched from underneath you as you frantically grapple for it, without success.

"You know, this isn't where the nerds hang out." Taehyung smirks at his two other buddies, clearly impressed with himself.

You let out a bored sigh. "Oh I'm sorry, I didn't realize you owned the bleachers." Your words drip with sarcasm. 

His face drops and a mean glare spreads across his features as he throws your drawing pad in the air. You watch helplessly as the pages flutter in the wind as it flies away and disappears under the stands. 

"Have a nice night." He says quietly, an attempt to be intimidating, as him and his friends leave.

Your veins alight with fury, hands balled into fists at your sides. You wanted to stamp your feet like a petulant child. This isn't fair. Why you?

It's only then you notice Jeon Jungkook standing on the field watching. Embarrassment suddenly extinguishes your angry flames as he breaks your gaze first, walking off under the bleachers. You grab your bag to leave for work before you suffer any more humiliation.

As you reach the last step you yelp with surprise as Jungkook appears suddenly in your view, you manage to steel yourself before tumbling into him.

You stare at him, wishing he'd get on with it and tease you so you can go...but it doesn't come. Instead he hands you your sketchpad, gently dusting off the pages.

You take it, a hesitant, "thanks," ghosts from your lips.

"I'm sorry about him." He says quietly.

You shrug. "Not your fault, I guess."

Seconds tick by as you both stare awkwardly at each other, unsure what else could be said.

"You're pretty. I-I mean, it-it's pretty." He stammers, tapping the unfinished sketch in your book. "You're very talented." 

Your cheeks flush an undignified fuchsia as you duck your head slightly, letting your hair hide you. "Thank you."

He offers you a weak smile before giving you a halfhearted wave and jogging off across the field, leaving you watching his back, perplexed at the exchange you've had.

You stare at your messages, every moment he can see you're online and not replying makes your cheeks flush crimson and makes your mind run frantic.

Meet me at the Happy Holidays dance.

Could you?

It’s the first holiday dance your university has put on--one you had no intention of going to, because you frankly didn't need the added teasing from the popular kids. It is a masquerade ball however, so no one had to know it was you, you could fall pleasantly under the radar.

Were you really considering this? 

What did you have to lose? You can hide behind the comfort of your mask. If he discovers it's you, it's his problem if he doesn't like that, Jimin is absolutely right.

Ok. Where will I find you?

You press send and chuck your phone down, throwing your head in your pillow to scream. Did you actually just do that!? No taking it back now, it's out there. 

When you hear your text tone sound you scramble quickly back to it.

By the old sundial outside. At 10.00?

You grin dorkishly at your phone, typing a quick reply.

Sure. See you then.

You call your number one speed dial, two rings in and Jimin's voice sounds. 

"I was just going to call you, how strange. Listen, do you remember that time I-?"

"I'm in need of some urgent assistance. I just agreed to go to the holiday dance!"

He cackles excitedly on the other end. "I'll be right over!"

As you step out of Jimin's car you have to lift your ice blue dress up to avoid the floor...and tripping. How Jimin pulled this costume together in time, you'll never know, he's taking that secret to the grave. 

You swallow the nervous lump in your throat and adjust your matching lace mask, making sure it's comfortable.

"Ok, go get him tiger." He roars, as he swipes a clawed hand in front of you.

You giggle at his silly antics and take a deep breath before giving him a final nod and heading into the dance.

From the moment you walk in, you want to go home. This is a bad idea. He won't be interested when he finds out it's really you.

You have no time to continue your anguished thoughts as you get swept up in the crowd, fighting your way through to grab a drink. Standing to the side and surveying everyone's costumes, noticing a lot of dark or bright colour choices, you being one of the only people in a pale colour, making you stand out more. Something you were definitely hoping to avoid.

A few songs later and the clock in the hall catches your eye, noticing you had fifteen minutes until you meet your mystery man.

You head outside, footsteps echoing along the cobbled floor, and see that the outside is empty save for a few smoking and talking. 

You get to the large, metal sundial and wait. Stomach churning from the butterflies that swarm wildly inside. 

"Blue hour artist?" You hear your Tumblr tag spoken behind you and freeze. 

You're about to meet him, come face to face with the person who understands you more than anyone, who opens up to you in ways most people wouldn't and who's creativity knows no bounds.

You turn slowly, not knowing who to expect but definitely not who you're faced with.

"Jeon Jungkook!? You're 'game over guk'?" You ask, your mouth popped open in shock.

He smiles sheepishly, rubbing the back of his neck, "that's not fair, you're wearing a mask. How will I know who you are?" 

You stare at him, trying to find words to answer his question, but the fact that it's him stood before you blows you away.

How could this be? The person you've been talking to online is the complete opposite to Jungkook and yet, here he is, one and the same.

"You'll h-have to guess." You try to get yourself together.

His mouth stretches into a toothy smile. "Ok, how about we play '21 questions' to help me guess?"

You nod, playing with your fingernails out of nerves.

"Do you want to sit down?" He asks, looking over at one of the benches.

"Um, no, I'd rather walk, if you don't mind?" 

"Oh, sure." He agrees eagerly and you head off down the pathway around the building. 

A few awkward side glances between the two of you and he finally asks, "Do we have any classes together?"

"No." 

"Ok, narrows it down slightly."

You take this opportunity to look at what he's wearing and he's every part the Prince charming. In a white satin shirt, with light blue trousers and a one shoulder half capelet to match, complete with silver, trim detail. Surprisingly similar to your choice of dress, what a strange coincidence.

"You take art I assume?" He asks, into the comfortable silence.

You nod. "That's an obvious one." You refer to your Tumblr page full of your fan art and projects.

He smiles bashfully and your stomach flips at the sight, feeling like a true-life Disney princess with heart eyes and birds singing above your head.

"I don't know many girls in art." He admits,

 "Ok, what about outside uni, do you go to any popular hangouts?"

Your cheeks flush, knowing you're admitting how dorky and uncool you are. "Nope."

"Ok, harder than I thought." He laughs, revealing his perfect teeth again. "Do you have a job?"

Nodding again, you play with the hem of your lace sleeve, channeling your nerves into the action.

As you're about to answer, your heel gets stuck in between the paving stone, causing you to buckle. Panic strikes you. You cannot fall over and embarrass yourself! Not when finding out who you are will be embarrassing enough. Luckily, you steady yourself against a nearby lamppost before falling on your face but at the cost of leaving your shoe stuck in the ground.

You tuck your leg up under your dress, steadying yourself against the street light, directly underneath the assaulting brightness, illuminating you like a spotlight.

Jungkook rushes over to your lonesome blue stiletto and retrieves it before crouching on one knee in front of you.

You stare at him, eyes wide and alarmed by his sudden closeness as he holds out your shoe in the most sincere way.

You bring your foot down and arch it back into its rightful holster. As you do, his fingertips graze your ankle, sending a flush of heat cascading up your body and neck, stopping only at your hairline. 

He lingers there, looking up at you with huge doe eyes, but with a severe intensity you've never noticed from him before. 

His fingers skate up your leg slightly as he rises, sending a delicious shiver through you. His fingers tips hint at your hand, you yearn to reach out and hold it, as he stands mere centimeters away from you. His intoxicating scent swirling around you like your own personal hurricane, taking your composed state and tearing through it, leaving it whimpering weakly on the ground. His face is too close to yours and yet not close enough. You feel feverish from his proximity and yet you need him closer to sate your heat.

Your breast vibrates from the aggressive pounding of your heart. Having him here on his knees in front of you, something not even acceptable in your wildest dreams and yet, here he is. 

The person you've gotten to know so well, such a contrast to the person you've seen around campus. But then again, he seems to like the person he's gotten to know too, maybe he won't be as disappointed when he realises who you are? Maybe you can kid yourself into thinking that.

A chiming sounds in the distance, barely there and yet it creeps further into your subconscious.

"Your phone is ringing." He whispers, his breath tickling your face, as his eyes still blaze into yours.

'My phone. My phone? Oh, my phone!' Your muddled thoughts clear themselves enough for you to understand his words. You pull it out of your little silver handbag and see Jimin's number on screen.

"Hello?" You ask, staring dreamily at Jungkook who is rooted firmly in his spot.

"Ok, I apologise if you're throat-deep around prince charming’s dick but I really need to make it home before midnight so my dad doesn't turn me into a pumpkin...and by that I mean, pounded, pulped and pressed into pumpkin pie." 

You snap out of it suddenly, realising Jimin's words and not wanting him to get in trouble because of you. "Of course. I'm coming, right now."

Jungkook's eyes flit back to reality with a deep frown. His hand clasps yours as you hang up and tuck your phone back into your bag. Your legs, already moving towards the front entrance where he would be waiting.

"Wait," Jungkook's pleading pierces right into your chest, feeling your resolve bubble up to the surface, enticing you to stay and see where the night takes you. But you don't.

"I can't, I have to go." You say, gently slipping your hand from his and jogging elegantly to the front parking lot.

When you see Jimin's dads silver Rolls Royce, you're suddenly eager to get in and share your news.

"So...did you meet him!?" An excited Jimin shakes your arm as you close the door behind you.

"Yes. You will never guess who he is." You fasten your belt and Jimin pulls off quickly, both of you wincing as he narrowly misses a barrier post on the way out of the campus.

"Who?" 

You smile to yourself, heart fit to burst. "Jeon Jungkook."

Jimin's foot taps on the brakes, lurching you forward.

"I'm sorry. What?" He turns to you, eyes wider than you've ever seen them. "As in, popular boy, sex god Jungkook?"

You scoff. "Who told you he was a sex god?"

"I'm making assumptions. I'm sure you'll find out soon enough." He grins as he elbows you in the ribs and sets off driving you home, while excitement rapidly blooms inside you.

You dropped your necklace.

You read the words over and over, unsure what your response should be. You needed that necklace. The simple silver chain holding the tiny teardrop pearl. It was all you had left of your dad. When he died, your step-mother sold most of his things, including gifts he bought for you. This was your last, most cherished item. The only reason you were allowed to keep it is that you were wearing it at the time and you haven't taken it off since. Losing it had your chest aching. You stared at Jungkook's last message until sleep over took you.

Monday morning. Eyes gritty and burning, you wake to the sea of sleep trying to entice you back to its darkening depths but you fight your fluttering eyelids and get ready for a new day.

How are you going to look at Jungkook now? You should tell him who you are. Yes, you'll do that and get your necklace back and it'll be happily ever after. 

Only it won't.

From your experience happily ever after doesn't happen for most people, even accomplished, brilliant, beautiful people. You're entirely average and ordinary, why would it happen for you?

By the time you get to campus, your manic mind has been changed numerous times. You decide to wait until you see him, which you spend every moment of your arrival scanning the faces that pass you.

"Hey, hey, Jelly Bean. Looking for me?" Jimin's cheerful face comes into full view, distracting you.

He's clearly unimpressed with whatever expression you're portraying currently, as he pouts and turns to the sea of faces. "Clearly, I no longer matter, now you've got big dick Jungkook."

You hush him loudly, looking around to ensure there were no listening ears. "Firstly, I'm begging you, stop talking about his dick and secondly, stop being stupid."

He laughs at your stressed rant. "Ok, ok, jeez. Is he meeting you this morning?"

Your body tenses, knowing, already hearing the lecture he's about to scold you with.

"You didn't tell him, did you? He still has no idea it's you!?" He sighs, throwing his hands in the air dramatically, typical Jimin fashion. "I swear to god...If you don't tell him, I will."

Your head snaps over to him as you walk side by side into the building, glaring menacingly in his direction. "You wouldn't dare."

He shrugs. "Try me, scaredy cat."

You huff and scrub at your tired eyes. "Let me just get through my classes then we shall discuss this."

He laughs as he tussles your hair and heads off in the opposite direction.

Your day passes fairly quickly, even though your struggle to stay awake during lectures only grows.

You do not see Jungkook, which is not unusual as you're not even in the same wings of the building most of the time.

Jimin's frantic waving has you puzzled as a deep frown creases your brow as you walk towards him, his jumping and pointing most unusual. It's only when you see a set of hands directly in front of you and feel your necklace land on your chest as it's draped across your collar bones, that you stop in your tracks. 

Those hands, warm at the back of your neck and a mouth next to your ear saying, "I told you I'd look after it and return it." Unmistakably Jungkook's voice whispers in your ear making you quiver.

When his hands are gone you look down and find relief washing over you with the familiar feel of your necklace, having felt bare and empty without it.

"Why didn't you reply to my messages?" He asks, stepping in front of you with a big bunny smile.

Wide eyed with shock, your mouth gapes open with the slow realization that he is, in fact, talking to you. "How-how did you…" Words fail you as you frantically think of any way you might have let slip your identity but coming up empty.

"How did I know it was you?" He asks, mouth pulled on one side in a smile. "When you dropped your necklace as you left the dance, I recognized it instantly. "

"Wh-what?" You squeak out. You attempt to swallow your confusion enough to form a coherent sentence. "On what planet would someone like you notice anything about someone like me."

A look of hurt flashes across his face, almost as if you'd slapped him as he takes a step towards you, a hair's width away now. "How could I not notice you? You're beautiful and smart, you don't follow the crowd and you're kind to everyone, I've noticed everything the last two years. I've just never spoken to you properly because….well...what do I have to offer someone like you, with endless talents and interests, a charming personality to boot and just when I think that's all there is, I discover something else about you. I'm just the school jock, popularity gets me opportunities, I don't have to work hard for anything...I feel...inferior to you. Worthless."

Your heart aches, hearing the words you feel escaping his mouth. How could that be possible? How on earth could he be so utterly mistaken, so completely wrong about himself?

"But gameoverguk is nothing like that person you're describing. If that's truly who you are?" You question quietly.

He nods, placing a finger under your chin and tilting your head up to him.

"Hi, I'm Jeon Jungkook, I'm a gamer geek, I'm good at sports, I enjoy bike rides on the weekend and finding new food spots and I'd really like to take you out sometime...if you'll let me."

You feel your lips stretch into an undeniable grin. "Nice to finally meet you Jungkook. I'd love to."

As you aim the plastic machine gun, keeping it steady in your armpit and pointed towards the screen, you and Jungkook race through the game, taking down your enemies at every chance. When your team name, "Blue Hour Gamer" flashes in neon letters on screen as the winners, your hollering and hooting fill the arcade. 

You don't even care that people are watching, not when you jump up and high five each other or when that high five turns into a hug, or when that hug very quickly turns into a kiss. You don't care.

You pull away quickly, embarrassment finding its way to dust your cheeks scarlet. Until you feel his hand press your lower back to him, your bodies crushing together and moving in perfect sync, making their own rhythm and inviting you to sing with it.

Heat blazes inside you like a wildfire, capturing everything else in its path and turning into thoughtless ash in the wind. Nothing else mattered, just him, his lips against yours, his hands on your skin, caressing so gently and yet setting your skin aflame.

Before you knew it, you were at his small, studio apartment, realising you had no clue he lived alone but thankful for that just the same.

When your back finds the bed, you sink into it, disappearing into a cloud of euphoria as he roams your body, slow and meaningful. Every touch makes you feel things you never have before, and every movement brings you closer to the edge of the precipice. 

The way his mouth feels on you as he explores your body sends sparks of electricity racing through you. The way he feels inside you with each perfect, controlled movement lights you up like the sunrise after dark, warming you with its rays as you stare off the cliff edge and brace yourself for the impact. His hand caresses your cheek as he looks deeply into your eyes, something so sweet and pure in the action that your chest swells with emotion. His forehead touches yours as he moves in perfect time with your pounding heart. Suddenly you're falling, everything going past in a rush before crashing onto a sea of ecstasy, writhing and moaning until your climax subsides and his has joined in unison.

A tender kiss on your head, his arm winding around you, pulling you to him and encasing you in the perfect safety net is enough. Maybe he'll be your happily ever after, after all.

[1ddiscourseoftheday]

Tues 30 March ‘21

Happy Tuesday! And to make it a happier tuesday, here’s Louis bursting on the scene to spread some cheer: “every day is a day closer to the first show back!” And that’s just the beginning! Someone asks if he has thought about making a documentary-- “already on it love” he replied. Listen yes, we knew that was what he and Charlie Lightening were up to BUT STILL- OMG!!! SOOO cool. Some people are not so sure but me, I think it’ll be awesome- cannot wait! Trust in Louis yall. And just to prove he’s a man you can trust he reacts in the ONLY correct way to react a dog modeling Walls merch-- “haha love that.” It’s wearing a bucket hat!! The Clifford picture we deserve tbh but for now this is excellent. He also said “got a decent chorus idea down” about what he’s been up to and doubled down on his most hotly debated tweet of recent times, 369. “Explain pls” begged a fan; “369” said Louis again, faaaanks for that love. That’s our guy, always forthcoming about his tattoos! Hahaha. AND THEN he responds to a tweet about how we always read too much into things but that he also trolls us with mystery posts: “fair comment”. WOW. He is truly a little shit and that is that on that! The man we love to hate ladies and theydies! And more on the louie topic of the moment people actually kind of hate, the NFTs. He’s asked about his recent follows and says, “some cool nft companies. I've been trying to educate myself in everything that already exists in that space.”

This year is gucci’s 100th anniversary I guess, and they are marking it by making a push to sell handbags, which means new pictures of Harry with a purses! Or so one can assume, the preview image we’ve seen so far is just his scruffy face, a lot of fluffy fur (on his Macklemore looking coat I mean but there is a lot of Harry hair on display too), and his dick necklace peeping out of the lapel of his shirt, looking extra obscene tbh cause the banana part is covered up so it’s just little unsolicited dick pic hiding in Harry’s chest hair, good lord. Yes yes we know babe you love gucci and dick and your gucci dick banana… anyway, the campaign drops April 22. It’s shot by Harmony Korine, who is a filmmaker, and a set director posted about working on a gucci commercial featuring Harry and Dakota Johnson back in Jan in LA so it seems safe to say there will be moving images to come. And speaking of Harry and filming, Heidi Gardner talked about doing SNL with Harry and told a story about him being reluctant to touch her shoulders for their sketch until she brought it up, and then him saying he was waiting for an explicit invitation to touch her. Aw, that’s our Harry; thoughtful and anxious. I feel like he works so hard to model the behavior he wants people to use towards him like, ‘people please I am begging can you please just be NICE and be respectful and stop grabbing me’, or maybe it’s just that he really understands firsthand how awful it feels to have your boundaries violated- either way I would love to manifest the same respect for him.

Ingrid Michaelson did a patreon live and talked about To Begin Again and how great having Zayn on the track has been; “Zayn's fans are intense. Very sweet. Aggressively supportive I think is the right word.” AHAHAHAHA YES ‘aggressively supportive’ might be the most perfect term anyone has ever coined for any subset of 1D fans so once again, HATS OFF to Ingrid the poet for a winning turn of phrase that I will certainly be using for a long time to come! She also said that the music video will be out in early April (and that it’s “a proper music video. It's not like your standard two people in a studio singing blah blah. It's different.”) Oh yeah and also that… Zayn and Gigi are married??! She said, “We’ve never met, I’ve never spoken to him. Zayn doesn’t do stuff he doesn’t wanna do and the fact that he did this song is very flattering. He’s such a private person and now he’s married and has a child so he does the things he wants to do…” prompting mass chaos in the zquad, but she later confirmed that she had just misspoken/ made an assumption based on their cohabiting and having a child together. And speaking of twitter leaping at the chance to go bananas over nothing, thousands flipped out because Lottie posted her gift bag from the Brits like “this means Louis is nominated for a Brit”!!! Lol WHAT? She got it cause she’s an influencer, but more to the point how does the SISTER of the nominee getting a gift bag make sense in any universe, you think they’re just looking up peoples’ family trees and everyone’s aunt gets a present like… WHAT??? Oh and also that they’re spilling the beans via gift bags before the big reveal… everything about that is ridiculous. Again, I’m sorry to say that I will be very surprised if Louis gets a nom but either way, we’ll find out tomorrow and not before.

And! You can bid now on a giant orange football jersey signed by Liam (or just look at the cute pic of him holding it)! It’s a benefit for the Wolves Foundation (a network of foodbanks in Liam’s hometown Wolverhampton, it’s unrelated to the criminally underrated 1D song alas). I hear it calling for you…

And finally, tune in tomorrow for Harry as Starfox rumors pt 369, this time For Real (only hmm nope probably not)