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siryouarebeingmocked · 4 months

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Gideon the Ninth (Tamsyn Muir, 2019)

Me: I think I'll e-borrow this dark fantasy book with a cool cover. Book cover blurb: This book has lesbian necromancers! Me: ... Me: Okay, I'll still read it, but the fact that that's a selling point is a bit of a red flag to me.

Because I've read a fair amount of stories where the writer thought being gay (or some other minority) was inherently interesting, even if the actual story was completely generic.

I call it the "Gone Home" problem.

Sure enough, I thought the book was mediocre. Not because of the lesbian sub-subplot. Because I don't think it was written for people like me.

I think it was written for people like the stereotypical tumblr/AO3 user.

Spoilers for Gideon the Ninth;

So, the main character is gay, and she's horny. In fact, she keeps talking about her "girlie mags" through the first act, specifically to piss off her boss (who’s actually younger than her, but the de-facto head of their House). There's a reason for that, but we'll get to it later.//

Memes At one point, Gideon goes “You can't just ask someone why they're X.” At another, she tells someone “Slow your roll.”

This story is in the distant future. Humanity is ruled over by an immortal, necromantic God-Emperor, and his necromantic Houses with different domains. But apparently a character whose idea of literature is reading skin books can reference memes from before she was born. And not in a Deadpool way. She just does it.

Even the narration does it.

This is exactly the sort of thing Tumblr - or your average fanfic writer - would think is clever. And I speak from (cringy) experience.

Also, I once read a popular fic which had an almost 1-to-1 reference to a certain meme scene in Firefly. Down to Jayne's hat, which wasn't even there in the original.

Took me right out of the fic. I even left a comment on the AO3 page; "welp, this is where you went too far with the references."

And before you ask, no, it didn't serve the story. Didn't really develop character, for the victims or the bad guy. It was just self-indulgent.

So, on top of constantly Deadpooling - without the excuse of breaking the 4th wall and being in a comedy - Gideon just generally acts like a surly, edgy teenager.

Because she is.

She is literally an edgy teenager.

She's trained with the greatsword. For the plot of this book, she has to accompany the head of her Great House, the Ninth House, to a house head meeting. They all have to bring their "cavalier primaries"; bodyguards/champions/armsmen to the house head.

So they give her a crash course in the rapier and obsidian knuckledusters, because standards and aesthetic (in-universe).

Gideon trained with the greatsword because she wants to join the military and escape. She hates the Ninth House, and the first thing she does in the fic is leave, pretty much the second she turns 18.

Which her House head Harrowhawk sabotages.

Harrow says she'll let Gideon go if Gideon acts as the CavPri. Because she's quite possibly the only person in the house who could, and the official CavPri ain't up to it.

Harrow, incidentally, is only 17. Her parents are the nominal head of house, but they've been dead for years, and Harrow has been puppeting them while running the show.

Come to think, it's not clear where Gideon gets the girly mags from. Her House seems pretty isolated. Maybe she trades for it with shuttle pilots. Or steals it off them.

It's also not clear where her hair gel for her mohawk comes from. Or who cuts her hair. Her House does have food, but it's apparently just...delivered. From somewhere.

Oh, right, the House system.

I thought the 9th House was the necromancer house. Nope, they all are. They just have different duties and specialties.

The meeting is so they can compete to figure out the formula to become Lyctors. Which is basically some powerful necro-immortal. Right-hand men and women to the Emperor himself.

You know that meme about Marvel movies?

You know, the idea that they’re all shallow and with constant tension-breaking quips, instead of sincerity?

This book feels an awful lot like that.

Even after the ending, there's a serious in-universe document - which includes the vital info that necromancers permanantly skip leg day, arm day, and any other day, hence the cavaliers - followed by a random tension-breaking joke.

There's a strong Catholic theme going on here. Including the fact that our hero is named after a big-name religious figure, but is a girl, and gay, and hates her religion and traditions.

Muir, I watch anime. You're gonna have to try a little harder to push my religious buttons.

So, what does the Empire do? What is the life of the average citizen like?

We don't know.

What would happen if Harrow had the power? Or any of the others? What's their Lyctor campaign platform, so to speak?

We don't know that either.

What does Gideon actually want to do with her freedom? Heck, what's the soldier's life like? Does she want to learn more about the mom who left her with the house and then died?

Good question.

Noticing a theme here?

I understand the idea to keep things contained while you're setting up the world. But you really need to remember there's a world outside the isolated location.

-So, time for the obligatory Vorkosigan Saga comparision. That series cares an awful lot about the little people, no pun intended.

Miles explicitly dedicates his life to fighting for the little guy. And he regularly runs into and makes friends with complete randos, and helps them out, helps them become better people.

The main plot turns into a murder mystery. Ironic, considering, y'know, necromancers.

People are dying, but the potential victims are mostly 15 people I don't know and don't care about. I don't even really care about Harrow or Gideon herself. The whole thing's like Daria.

(Or so I assume, because I've never seen or been interested in Daria, but one of the inside cover blurbs made the comparison.)

I want to say I dislike High School drama, but I watch a lot of high school anime. And I used to watch Glee and Riverdale. And I liked Mean Girls and Easy A and Election and I still want to see Grease.

Okay, but is it the whole "locked house mystery" aspect?

Well, no, because I like the Knives Out movies, and the Agatha Christie novels that inspired them. Like And Then There Were None (10 Little Native Americans Indians).

Gideon doesn't really do much. In fact, there's literally a bit where someone gets murdered on her watch, and she feels guilty for falling asleep. it's obvious survivor's guilt, but I can't remember if she actually changed in any way.

I think there’s hints that she’s a tsundere toward Harrow, but I couldn’t actually tell. She has a ghost of a romance arc with a Mark 1 Ill Girl who can’t even leave her bed, but it would be boring even if it was straight.

The funny thing is, I stumbled onto the second book in the series, and did research, so I borrowed the first book, and now I don't want to read the second book either.

Even though Gideon is dead, and it’s about Harrow.

Also, when the story shifts to Harrow's perspective, it becomes a lot more serious. The narration jokes are because we're following Gideon’s perspective.

Even without that, I'm not sure I care about this world or trust Muir enough to spend few more hundred pages with her.

Though the cover is cool...

#books #the locked tomb #long #lesbians #diversity #personal

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solariaswitch · 3 years

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I posted 636 times in 2021

355 posts created (56%)

281 posts reblogged (44%)

For every post I created, I reblogged 0.8 posts.

I added 705 tags in 2021

#asks - 192 posts

#anon - 187 posts

#winx - 107 posts

#winx club - 47 posts

#fate the winx saga - 37 posts

#winx memes - 31 posts

#the trix - 29 posts

#winx answered - 26 posts

#solarias posts - 25 posts

#personal - 24 posts

Longest Tag: 139 characters

#and maybe think about what sort of fucked up lens you're looking at the world through if you think minorities should settle for the minimum

My Top Posts in 2021

Winx women: 🔥 🥵 ✨ 😍 💕

Winx men: 🤢🤨🧐😐

okay but this made me think of the fact that a Russian university did a study on gender roles in Winx and found that the men were passive characters and practically just extensions of their girlfriends lmfao. Basically the male characters in Winx were forced into the roles female characters tend to have in male dominated media.

239 notes • Posted 2021-05-03 08:20:12 GMT

me too girl

246 notes • Posted 2021-05-10 10:53:53 GMT

i was gonna make this into a complete alignment chart but something about this version really spoke to me

248 notes • Posted 2021-06-06 21:46:59 GMT

283 notes • Posted 2021-06-28 17:49:23 GMT

Something I’ve noticed is that anything girly with pink, glitter, fashion, bright colors, is never seen as mature. All those elements of Winx were removed from Fate because Fate is supposed to be aimed at a “mature audience”. As if they’re inherently immature and silly. Why is femininity so frowned upon? Why are girls not taken seriously if we choose to embrace the role society tries to push onto us?

1283 notes • Posted 2021-01-20 20:16:21 GMT

Get your Tumblr 2021 Year in Review →

#my 2021 tumblr year in review #your tumblr year in review #solarias posts #long post

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miraculouscontent · 3 years

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(non-ml asks)

Anonymous said:

So the Pokémon anniversary a couple of weeks back showed two very different takes in the future of Pokémon. What are your thoughts on the Sinnoh remakes and Legends Arceus?

I really hate the Sinnoh remakes. It’s not that I hate the chibi style (I mean, Pokemon started that way), but like--remake the game but just make it “the 2D game but 3D”???? Why? And it feels disrespectful because every other remake has used the style of the other games they were in (so FRLG looked like RSE, HGSS looked like DPPt, ORAS looked like XY, and most of the time, the remakes looked outright better than the style they were based on). It’s a shame because I really wanted to see an improvement from Sword and Shield, which didn’t engage/interest me and... I don’t know if this will make total sense, but instead of an upgrade from Sun & Moon, it feels like an upgrade of XY? Like, XY’s problems but with better proportions.

I’m cautiously optimistic for Legends Arceus, if only because, “YES, AN ACTUALLY SINGLE GAME INSTEAD OF THE DUAL STUFF THEY KEEP PULLING” (which was absolutely unacceptable when they got to console stuff). I actually didn’t notice the framedrop issues because I’m used to running games on a laptop that clearly isn’t made for them, so I’m sort of immune to it. I haven’t decided if I’ll get it for sure but the premise intrigues me and I really like Arceus.

Anonymous said:

How is Moroha the Marinette of Inuyasha?

- needlessly tormented by the narrative

- things that other people do to her don’t get addressed

- people closest to her are usually awful

- awesomely overpowered yet narrative will constantly have her screw up and put her down/make her feel worthless

- gets sidelined/ignored in favor of other characters

Anonymous said:

In one of your Askplosions(don't remember which one, sorry), you said that you can't stand the Tomboy Lesbian stereotype, which, to be honest, I kind of agree with. But what about Tomboy Bisexual? I guess it's not as bad if a female character's tomboyishness/girlishness isn't used as a clue as to her sexuality(like "you know she's a lesbian because she's BUTCH!!!"), but there aren't really stereotypes associated with being bi that are based in masculinity or femininity(due to bi erasure sadly.).

kfdngjdfgd I like how you had to had that bis don’t easily get stereotypes as much due to bi erasure because you’re absolutely right.

“Tombis” are fine, I have no problem with them. Any stereotype to avoid then are just the general bi stereotypes.

Anonymous said:

I was just reading TV Tropes' page for "Gratuitous Princess" and holy shit the sexism on display here is really nauseating. It's exactly like "Improbably Female Cast"(there are too many female characters here and it's uncalled for, despite it being okay for characters to predominantly be men), in that it's basically insulting any story that has anything to do with princesses at all by saying it "isn't needed". TV Tropes has always had a way of including underhanded sexism when talking about female-dominated/aimed works or tropes having to do with female characters or anything designed to appeal to female audiences; the more feminine, the more ridiculed it is by TV Tropes, despite claiming to believe otherwise.

Similar to how I complained about their "Improbably Female Cast" trope, Gratuitous Princess claims that stories with "more princesses than is plausible for the setting" are this trope because any abundance of princesses is somehow bad or doesn't make sense, even if it would make sense for there to be that many princesses/all the characters to be princesses.

For example, they claim that an entire school of princesses is implausible and "gratuitous", but if the school is intentionally meant to be a "royal" school for girls to learn to be princesses(whether or not they were actually born into royalty), then it's not actually gratuitous and makes sense within the setting! If the story follows a monarchy, it makes sense to have lots of princesses, especially if it's aimed at young girls.

If the main characters are a group of normal girls who wish they were princesses and the story follows "fantastical" versions of their imaginary princess selves, then that also makes sense, especially if the story has "every girl can be a princess" as their moral or something. There's nothing wrong with stories like that, but TV Tropes claims they're unnecessary because anything involving princesses(stuff little girls like) are automatically shoehorned in.

Just look at the examples, which are all written in an unnecessarily derogatory way, with statements such as "for some reason, she's called a princess", or "the rulers should be queens, and yet they're princesses"(when it COULD just be a principality; do your research, TV Tropes), or "how this has anything to do with princessing is never explained", as if the mere fact that she's a princess is something bad or worthy of scorn.

They even claim Sailor Moon is this trope when Naoko Takeuchi simply wanted the story to revolve around a group of girls who just so happened to be reincarnated princesses who ruled over their respective planet. It's supposed to be a girl power wish fulfillment fantasy that appeals teenage girls by showing all the girly things they like as implements of power!

And yet TV Tropes disses it for just that, because anything that's made to appeal to girls can't ever make sense. Now, if they were complaining about how, in aggregate, shows about princesses or in which every female character is a princess can reinforce the notion that the only way for a female character to be noteworthy in any way is if she's a princess, then that would be different, but that's not what's happening. They're dissing princess stories just for existing. No matter what, TV Tropes always finds something bad to say about female-driven storylines.

Always. Just look at their page for "Most Fanfic Writers Are Girls", "Pony Tale", and "Frills of Justice". There's always a mean-spirited undertone, as if they hate the very idea of these stories and narrative devices existing just because they're designed to appeal to little girls. I'm not saying you're never allowed to critique those stories the way you would any other, it's just the WAY TV Tropes does it. They're not critiquing, they're sarcastically mocking. They're going about it all wrong! And it's especially obvious when they never do it to boys' shows, even though those shows often do have messages that can actually be harmful and even ignore or objectify women. But I guess the latter is why they don't care. Boys will be boys, am I right?

Oh joy, internalized/intentional misogyny!

Ugh, I’ve been lucky enough to stay away from those articles on TV Tropes. I hate it when opinions clearly start seeping into the article.

For example, “Kiss Your Hand” (I think that’s the name) sums up the whole “hand kissing” thing and goes into detail about how nowadays it’s considered more uncomfortable/creepy, which isn’t necessarily an opinion but just detailing how the times have changed.

AND JUST LET US FEMALES HAVE GIRL SHOWS WITHOUT MAKING BACKHANDED COMMENTS.

It’s the same thing with stuff like “chick flicks,” y’know? Maybe it’s just been having to hang out with my father and hearing him make dumb blond jokes and talks about how chick flicks are boring/bad but UGH, I’m sick of it.

Anonymous said:

Hi, so I was thinking about what you said about how there aren't words for guys who act either masculine or feminine, and I agree, it's totally unfair, but technically feminine boys are called janegirls(or femboys, I don't know if that's specifically an LGBTQ+ term or not, so excuse me if it is, but I've heard it used this way before), or tomgirls(even though last time I checked, the term "tomgirl" referred to either a girly tomboy or a tomboyish girly girl, but I digress).

As for masculine guys, I'm not so sure there's a term for it, I guess since deviation from masculinity is less acceptable for men than deviation from femininity is for women(because, you know, femininity=lesser. ;(), although there IS the term "macho"...but that tends to be used in a derogatory sense nowadays. I've also heard "boys' boy", "manly man", etc. TV Tropes has a trope called "Sensitive Guy and Manly Man" as the male counterpart to Tomboy and Girly Girl. So I guess there are terms.

I also just wanted to add that the term "tomboy" technically was originally a male phrase to describe a young boy who was boisterous, loud, mischievous, and out-of-control; in other words, a misbehaved, trouble kid. I don't know how or when it got attributed to girls, I think there was the term tomgirl at one point(though now it's just used for an in-between type of girl), but even that is barely used anymore. Not sure where or when the term "girly girl" came about, though, sorry to say. ;(

Yeah, that’s true. I’ve honestly never heard the term “janegirls” before, but I’d prefer if a “““masculine”““ girl was just called “tomgirl” instead. It feels less like “girl acting like a boy” and--yeah, calling a girl one thing or another just makes it look like they’re “““different”““ from “““normal girls”““ and I just roll my eyes.

Anonymous said:

Hi, I know the post you're talking about(in your fourth non-ml Askplosion) about a boy who related more to female characters! It was on BoredPanda and it was by Damian Alexander(it can also be found on his official Tumblr), and it was called "Guy Illustrates How Boys Develop Sexism From Seemingly Small Interactions With Adults" and it was all about how he loved female characters like Matilda, Alice, Mulan, Dorothy, Anne of Green Gables, and The Powerpuff Girls, and was routinely made fun of and discouraged from liking them, even from the teacher, who assigned everybody a paper(I mean not really they were probably in pre/elementary school but whatevs) about a fictional character they looked up to, but wouldn't let Damian write about Matilda, even though she let girls write about Spiderman, Harry Potter, and Peter Pan. And he basically talked about how this kind of societal attitude conditions boys to see girls as inferior and not worthy of being looked up to. It's really interesting.

Thank you! Now people can maybe go read it~

Anonymous said:

So you talked about how shows for women are considered lame and overdramatic, while shows for men are allowed to sexualize women and still be seen as good because they're MANLY, and it just reminded me of how TV Tropes has a page called "So You Want To Write A Shonen Series" and one of their points was literally that since teenage boys are horny, they'll relate to a male lead that pervs on girls and peeps on them dressing, but that you shouldn't have the girl be aware or actually hit the boy, because that has Unfortunate Implications. What were those Unfortunate Implications according to TV Tropes, you ask? Double Standard Abuse: Female-on-Male. Wow. So basically they're saying it's perfectly okay for a boy to sexually harass a girl and show absolutely no respect for her privacy because it's what "all" teenage boys want to see/do, but the second a girl actually defends her agency it's a bad thing, and they have the NERVE to say it's sexist against BOYS on top of that. Ugh. I just...

S...sexist against boys...

I can’t--I just--

Also, cue the girl punching/hitting and then the girl is immediately considering “aggressive” for defending herself from being perved on, and even if people say that the girl didn’t deserve to be perved on, they’ll be like, “bUT SHE DIDN’T HAVE TO GO tHaT fAr.”

Anonymous said:

I just realized something: the term "uncanny valley" literally comes from the Japanese words "bukimi no tani", meaning we LITERALLY wouldn't have the English term without the Japanese one. So, yeah, tropers can shut the fuck up now about tropes having Japanese names because "no one will know what it means!". -_-

These people DO know that words in the English language are compromised/inspired by a bunch of other languages, right???

eggchjf said:

someone probably pointed this out but ALSO not only does Marinette have Homura's VA, but Alya is voiced by Mami's VA (Carrie Keranen)

why did you have to ruin everything for me

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaagh

Anonymous said:

Hi, I'm the Madoka salt anon. And I just wanted to say that I'm really sorry for bombarding you with all those asks. I didn't mean to be a "monster", I guess I just got carried away because, let's face it: there aren't a lot of people who dislike this show. Almost everyone glorifies this show as feminist empowerment while dismissing other Magical Girl shows as lesser than or somehow less feminist despite being written by women for women. These people won't give female authors the time of day and so when a man shows up suddenly they jump on the Magical Girl Fan bandwagon and praise it for doing what the genre has already done.

And when you do hear a different opinion, that person gets told off, insulted, blocked, downvoted, whatever because how dare you hate this show written by men for men rather than the stuff written by women for women? I once saw someone on Quora ask why Madoka was so popular when all it did was use the cliche "time loops" concept in so many other plots, and the response was literally "You didn’t know what you were looking at, so mistook your opinion for relevant commentary."

Let that sink in. If you don't agree with people who like Madoka Magica, it's because you're simply too dumb to understand how deep and complex it is, and your opinion doesn't matter. I've also heard the similar "You have no idea what you just watched" or "You're not smart enough to understand it" or "It's too complicated for you" nonsense and I hate it. Because most of what Madoka does isn't even that twisted or hard to understand; it's relatively simple when you look at it. The show just makes it dark. Monsters stealing energy from teenage girls? Sailor Moon did that and did it better(and didn't just go after teenage girls/women, so it wasn't based off sexism and "teenage girls are hysterical"). Hardships of being a magical girl? Girls uniting against evil? Female friendships/romance? So many other Magical Girl shows did that, too.

Come to think of it, Madoka Magica didn't even have the girls fight back against the system because only Madoka found a way out and purified the girls souls? Girl realizes she's been going about being a hero the wrong way and is confronted with her own selfishness? Look at Utena, which mastered this much more skillfully. Magical girl gets in a love triangle with another girl, vies for the affection of a fragile white-haired boy, and loses? Princess Tutu, except that the other girl was also a Magical Girl, they became friends and actually rebelled against the system together, and Ahiru(aka Princess Tutu) didn't fall into the pit of despair because girls should be punished for their sexualities and compete against each other for men and if a guy doesn't like you, you're worthless.

Even the whole "these girls are liches" thing wasn't very complex and well-handled as a lot of people like to think: the gems are called Soul Gems because your soul is in a gem. Wow. So clever. And they're Grief Seeds because they're seeds released from grievous witches. Also(not) clever. Even the fact that the acronyms are reversed(SG, GS) because Magical Girls turn into witches just made me go "yawn, I get it".

The whole show is just very lazily done and designed and tries too hard to be scary and deep and complex and "not like those other Magical Girl shows" while also trying too hard to make the girls super cute but also super badass so that we both are led to think it's a traditional Magical Girl show AND feel bad when these girls die because whoops they weren't so strong and badass after all!

Not to mention the whole "Magical Girls become witches just like how girls become women" thing really pisses me off because it shits on the whole coming-of-age aspect of Magical Girl as well(strong girls embracing their agency as they prepare to enter womanhood) by instead demonizing the very concept so that "becoming a woman" is a bad, vile, horrible thing(because being a woman makes you "more powerful", so the more powerful a woman is, the more mentally unstable she is) and then topping it off by having Madoka save the girls from becoming witches, aka women, making sure they never achieve a more mature state and maintain a level of childlike naivete.

It has so many misogynistic themes and concepts(girls are emotional, girls are weak-willed, girls are impressionable, girls shouldn't be selfish, girls shouldn't try to be heroes, girls should be pit against each other especially over a guy, girls shouldn't achieve power or become women, and more, and more, and more), that are stated matter-of-factly within the story and always proven right by the narrative, and yet people gobble it up and anytime somebody points it out, they are met with utter hostility.

Some people even defend it by saying those things are true! People only like Madoka because it's written by a man and depicts women suffering, in a genre written by women and meant to empower girls, which they don't like. And also because anything a man writes is automatically deeper and more valid than anything a woman writes.

So that's why when I found out that you didn't like Madoka either I was more than happy to discuss it with you, but I realize now that I was going overboard. I was just so happy that there was someone who agreed with me and actually understood what I was trying to say and found it problematic, and the fact that you say you're not that well-versed in Magical Girl proves my point even more because you don't even have to watch much Magical Girl to know that this is fucked up.

If you want me to stop sending Madoka salt asks, then fine. I'll stop. I didn't mean to bother you with these asks, I just wanted to see your point of view on Madoka Magica when everybody else is singing its praises left and right and never stopping once to actually think about it(while also claiming that people who don't like it are the ones "not thinking".). Hearing someone who's actually critical of this nonsense show is refreshing.

Firstly thank you for the ask! It’s honestly not your fault, I’ve just been struggling a bit lately with ask overloads.

That doesn’t necessarily mean I want you to stop, but I’d rather discuss it over Tumblr DMs so things are more balanced. Walls of text can be a little overwhelming for me (that’s why sometimes I try to balance my own walls of text with screenshots).

Anonymous said:

I've been thinking of how much I hate the misogyny in Puella Magi Madoka Magica, so I decided that instead of just salting about it(even though I still do from time to time because they're legitimate critiques and boy is it fun), I'm going to start talking about what I would do to improve it. Now doing this may mean it won't be the "dark" anime many people have wanted it to be, but I've been thinking of it for a while and it's my personal opinion, so let's get to it:

First, I would still have the Incubators, though they would probably have a different name because the name "Incubator" is pretty skeevy and part of a lot of the misogyny in the show. They would still recruit magical girls(who are called "Puellae Magi" in-universe, at least in the English dub and possibly some other dubs as well), only they do it for a different reason: Incubators go after teenage girls who are leading rough, difficult lives, and the magical girl contracts help them to improve their lives and give them a reason to live. They still make wishes, but the wishes don't screw them over because of their secret "selfishness".

However, if a potential magical girl is unclear or unsure of what she truly wishes for, this may lead things to go haywire. Basically, the whole magical girl thing is more heartwarming and the Incubators truly want to help the ladies in need, not just leech off of them. There's also no Soul Gems, or at least, their souls aren't actually in the Gems. They're called such because the Gems are powered by their Souls, and rather than the girls losing consciousness and "dying" when their Gems are too far apart from them, they simply lose their ability to perform magic and their magic becomes weaker. They still have stronger bodies though, much stronger than average humans, because becoming a magical girl gives them super strength/speed/stamina and all that, just WITHOUT making them liches.

Their Gems are non-interchangeable, so you can only use your own, not another girl's. As for the witches, they still exist, but witches weren't the intention of the Incubators; they're due to a botched experiment and it's up to magical girls to not only fight and defeat them, but return them to their original selves, thus showing that hope always does triumph over despair. I would also have the magical girls fight not only witches, but ordinary criminals as well, because having them fight only witches gets a little boring and predictable.

And finally, while there would still be only teenage girls who are chosen to become magical girls, it wouldn't be because they're "the most emotional" or some Hysterical Woman shit like that. It would be something more empowering, like, maybe only teenage girls are chosen because they're the most capable of magic and are simply more powerful magically than everyone else. They would still have their powers as adult women, but you have to be a teenage girl(well, one with a difficult/horrible life) to be recruited in the first place, if that makes sense.

And maybe older magical girls(well, women) would be able to mentor and assist younger ones(which is very much in-line with the coming of age themes present in magical girl, women supporting and uplifting younger girls as they advance into womanhood). This would make the claim that women such as Anne Frank, Joan of Arc, Cleopatra, and Queen Himiko were magical girls less...iffy, but I still wouldn't make it so that ALL influential women were magical girls, nor that humanity would be in caves without the Incubators. There'd also be transformation/detrasformation phrases of course.

In short, the magical girl system exists more so as a form of wish fulfillment, both in and out of universe, since it's for teenage girls with rough lives who are "empowered" by becoming magical girls and getting to live out a fantasy of fighting crime while looking pretty, as an exchange for getting a wish fulfilled that will help them improve their lives. Only teenage girls have this ability because they're the strongest magic users, not because of "female hysteria". In other words, the magical girl system exists to support and benefit the girls, rather than exploit them.

Now, since I mainly went over the magical girl system itself, I'll talk about the characters. Kyoko still loves to eat, is still relatively selfish, and still has discord with Sayaka, but they overcome it and become friends MUCH sooner and in a much more natural way. Mami and Kyoko's relationship will actually be stated in-universe, not just in some side material. Sayaka still has a crush on her male friend, but confesses to him before Hitomi does. At this point, he either says yes and they hit it off but eventually don't work out and decide they'd be better as friends, or he says no and she's sad but perfectly fine with that, and encourages Hitomi to go after Kyousuke. Hitomi may do it if Kyousuke turns down Sayaka, or she may feel bad about going after him after her best friend just got turned down, especially if she's worried about getting turned down herself, since Sayaka has known him far longer so she has even less of a chance, right? If Hitomi does confess, Kyousuke WILL say yes, but because his arm was healed due to Sayaka's wish, he's more concerned about playing the violin than spending time with his alleged girlfriend and they eventually fall out. This is keeping in line with Gen's claim that Kyousuke isn't a good match for either of the two girls. Though they may get together in the future.

As for Sayaka...well, she gets with Kyoko and it's actually made CANONICAL in-universe. I don't know about Madoka and Homura though, if she's less possessive of Madoka than she was in canon then perhaps she has a shot. Either way, I would really love if the ships were actually canon and not just queerbaiting. Regardless, Sayaka and Hitomi stay friends. Also, on a meta level, I would really love it if there were more female writers on Madoka Magica, and that the show was targeted towards a female viewing audience, which would mean toning down the fanservice(if not removing it entirely), as well as the troublesome aspects, as I've talked about earlier. And no "torturing young innocent girls and restricting their agency" since that's not what the magical girl genre is about and it never has been. This probably means more episodes though. Anyway, there's probably more stuff I'm forgetting, but to sum it up, this is how I would fix Madoka Magica. What do you think?

I think it’s a really good idea!!! Refreshing~ You know I’m all about fix-its.

Plus, all I heard was “Madoka Magica without being edgy” and I’m like, “yes please, I’m here for it.”

Anonymous said:

About Improbably Female Cast, it has come to my attention that Madoka Magica has been removed from the list. Someone in the discussion section of the trope removed it saying that since it's a magical GIRL show, it having a majority female cast isn't "improbable". The Touhou example is still there, though, because there's apparently something wrong with stories that have less men than women or have next to no men in them. Because a prominent male character is a requirement to tell a good story.

They also removed Strawberry Panic! because it takes place in an all girls' school, and Y: The Last Man, because it takes place in a futuristic world where almost all the men died. But still, the fact that those examples were there at all speaks volumes about the double standard there at TV Tropes. Even if the story has a realistic and plausible reason for the setting to be mostly female, as the examples above are, TV Tropes still considered them improbable. It's as if TV Tropes doesn't just dislike/question stories about a mostly female cast when it doesn't "have" to be, they dislike/question majority female casts in GENERAL! And the closest they have to a Spear Counterpart is Cast Full of Pretty Boys, which is a totally different trope: a cast in which most of the characters are "bishounen" aka pretty boys, because it appeals to a female demographic.

So it's "justified" but female casts aren't. And the playing with section reeks of "Stay in The Kitchen" sexism, with statements can be okay or even exist is if it's a harem or exists to titillate men who crave girl-on-girl interaction(and in fact, the main page lists this as their FIRST reason such a cast would exist, appealing to little girls and/or queer women is secondary/tertiary in their eyes), and the situations they propose in which the trope could be played with almost all involve the few boys attempting to hook up with as many women as possible or manipulating the women to fall in love with them, with the so-called justification that "the viewers just like their lesbians". And almost all their quotes(same on the Playing With page) are about people whining and complaining that the cast has too many girls in it. The Image Links section even has a link to a picture of two boys griping and bleating about the lack of boys in whatever show they're watching("They don't appeal to our demographic!" "Why are there no boys in our story?"), which TV Tropes has the nerve to call a "witty observation".

But what pisses me off even more is the fact that a predominantly female cast even NEEDS a justification in the first place. They only pulled specific examples of shows that supposedly dictated that the cast MUST be mainly female: Magical Girl shows, all-girls school settings, stories in which the entirety of men were killed off...only in extreme circumstances can you "resort" to using female characters but if the situation was reversed, the male equivalent wouldn't be considered improbable to BEGIN WITH. And this is despite the fact that the discussion page is FULL of people saying the trope should be renamed because of sexism, detailing many things I'm detailing right now, to the point where it's even gone off TV Tropes and is right here on Tumblr itself(one troper called it "PC whining", just ugh)! I just wish TV Tropes would realize the inherent sexism in calling such a cast improbable, since it makes it look like they're unhappy with the representation. Then again, they might be.

I’VE NOTICED THAT TOO, YEAH.

show: *has predominately female cast*

people: oKaY I guess that makes sense bUT ONlY BECAUSE--

And because misogyny isn’t as widely discouraged as... example, people would be absolutely crucified for complaining about a show having “too many POCs”... it means that those comments usually get ignored.

Anonymous said:

The Improbably Female Cast talk, especially the part about men complaining when stories have mostly female characters/seeing spaces that are 1/3 female as "majority female", reminded me of how I saw a study somewhere talking about the differences between how men and women dream, and it was saying that men's dreams tend to have more men than women in them, while women's dreams tend to have an equal amount of members from both sexes. Yikes. Even in their sleep men want women out of the picture.

And just in case you're curious, I found the study itself! It's called "Gender Similarities and Differences in Dreams", though if you look up "differences in how men and women dream" it should be the second thing under the link that also includes a snippet of the article. To quote the study itself: "there is a gender difference in how often men and women include male and female characters in their dreams: men dream twice as often about other men as they do about women(67% vs. 33%), and women dream equally about both sexes (48% men, 52% women). This is the largest difference between American men and women." Ouch. Granted, it's specifically talking about Americans, but I don't even want to imagine how even more skewed it probably is in men's favors for men in other countries(not gonna name drop any ACTUAL countries obviously.)! Internalized misogyny runs deep, to the point where men can't even conceive of women having a more significant role than them in anything, even in dreams.

And it runs deeper than that, too. I saw a post on Micechat called "The Smurfette Principle" by JMora. You probably already know what that is, but just in case you don't(or anyone else reading this doesn't), it's a trope describing the tendency for works to have a disproportionate amount of male characters with only one female in the group, if not the whole cast(named after Smurfette, the only female Smurf). The entire article is really well written and it discusses the gender disparity in fiction quite nicely, but what I'd really like to call your attention to is near the end, where they talked about how this effects kids, especially boys.

Movies that make most of their characters male while shoehorning females in female-specific roles are treating maleness as the default while femaleness is a special case, and this leads to films about men being seen as "unisex" while films about women are seen as "for girls" only. As a result, this leads to little girls being willing to watch movies about boys AND girls, while little boys watch movies only about other boys.

This also extends to the stories they write. Girls write stories with male and female protagonists equally, while boys almost exclusively write stories with male protagonists. Girls' stories tend to have a mixture of boys and girls, whereas boys' stories have all boys in them. It relates to what I was saying earlier about how men's dreams have mostly male characters while women's dreams are equal: how our society conditions boys to think that girls just aren't important and don't matter much. To quote the article, "Girls already know they can be the main pirates; it's the boys who aren't getting the message". Thankfully my little(male) cousin likes shows about girls and shows about boys just as much: he likes Pirates of the Caribbean, and he also likes Enchanted. But the majority of boys still dismiss shows for girls as "girly" as if girly is a bad thing but boyish isn't, and when they don't it's weird.

The best part is that this led someone else to realize their own mistakes regarding overrepresentation of men vs underrepresentation of women. A guy named Mouse Macabre realized that the comic he was working on had 8 main characters, 6 male, 2 female, and had to go back and work so that there was an equal amount. All he had to do was make two of his male characters female, and there you have it! Four male main characters, 4 female! Then why is it so hard for the majority of men these days?

Ugh, I don’t know. Like, as soon as people hear “we’re adding more characters for equality/to give women more attention,” it suddenly becomes “““forced.”““

Alright then I guess we’ll just have a bunch of white male shows then because adding diversity is forced and uNnaTuRaL.

We had POCs and more female characters and suddenly certain white males feel ignored and disenfranchised. :|

Poor things, not like there are ten millions other things they could be watching instead.

Also, inevitable response to the dream thing: men agreeing to dream more about woman... but they’re sexualized.

#other: non ml talk #other: ask and answer

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amphtaminedreams · 4 years

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The Women of Euphoria and Personal Style: Lookbook no.8

Hi to anyone reading,

I hope you’re well considering everything going on! It feels weird to want to talk about fashion or TV shows or red carpets or whatever when 90% of my Google searches are COVID-19 related but there you go. It’s all about trying to power through as normal (minus the social interaction) and pretend the world isn’t ending, right? Queue nervous laughter.

And as if things aren't shitty enough, production of season 2 of Euphoria has been postponed until further notice.

Okay, in the grand scheme of things, having to wait a bit longer for a TV show isn’t catastrophic but it does just about sum up the transition from 2019 to 2020 thus far that after HBO redeemed itself by broadcasting Euphoria in the summer following an ending to Game of Thrones that has made the whole series unrewatchable, the glimmer of hope in me reignited by the prospect of series 2 this year has been quickly dashed. 2021, I’m rooting for you, because it doesn’t seem like things are getting better any time soon, and in all seriousness, I think everyone needs a break from the collective suffering of the last few months.

For me (and undoubtedly for many others if the hundreds of makeup looks and styling videos are anything to go by), Euphoria’s effect on the world of fashion and beauty is unprecedented. I really can’t recall a TV show in living memory that has had as much of an impact on the way young people dress. I mean, this might partially be because the style of the characters already kind of caters to and draws from the target audience but also, aside from Blair Waldorf did anybody really give THAT much of a fuck about what anybody in Gossip Girl wore?

The draw of the styling on Euphoria is that it has something for everyone. The style of each of the main girls, Rue, Kat, Maddy, Jules and Cassie, all of whom I’ve attempted (emphasis on attempted!) to base (emphasis on base!) outfits around, is varied and distinctive but still so current and realistic at the same time. It’s also consistent; even if you don’t own the specific pieces worn by any of them, similar shapes and details reoccur enough in different looks throughout the series that it’s not hard to create an outfit which matches your favourite character’s overall vibe without buying anything new. That’s kinda what I have attempted to do here and without further ado, I’m gonna get on with it! First up:

Jules (Played by Hunter Schafer)

When it comes to whose style is the most experimental, Jules is the obvious answer. A lot of her outfits are what I imagine a cartoonist in the near-distant future will envision their cool girl protagonist wearing. Whilst her ensembles are generally whimsical and girly for the most part, there’s usually a few slightly punk-ish finishing touches thrown in there too be it through chunky shoes or bold makeup or that incredible mesh trench coat she wears in the series finale with the trans symbol on the back which, honestly, deserves a moment of silence.

There are definitely nods to current fashion trends sprinkled throughout her wardrobe too. I'm not going to lie, despite someone at work seemingly thinking it was an insult to tell me I look like someone who does (I still don’t know but this person has a Rick and Morty keyring so I don’t give it too much weight), I’ve never watched any anime. BUT, that being said, given the abundance of anime screenshots posted by all these aesthetic oriented Instagram and Tumblr moodboard accounts, I have a vague idea of what some of the more iconic characters look like and a lot of Jules’ looks seem to be very much modelled after or at least inspired by them. In a way, I see a lot of her looks as a blend between modern “e-girl”, Y2K skater chick (yes, I’m thinking early Avril Lavigne), and 2013 Tumblr “hipster” a la 2014 Joanna Kutcha and Charlie Barker, and though on paper that sounds like a nightmare combination, it works. I know-if that sentence were a Depop description I would’ve just gained 30 followers.

When it comes to my own interpretation of Jules’ style, it’s definitely something I like to channel when I’m putting together a proper OUTFIT outfit. Meaning an outfit I actually put effort into and thus will most likely want to get a good photo in, lol. The way her character dresses is almost quite Christopher Kane in that it’s fresh and unusual but still understated enough that I wouldn’t walk into a room wearing any of these feeling like I’m doing a Rick Owens runway.

I’m not TOO far out of my comfort zone but still at the same time, I’d be trying something new and maybe a little bit more zany than I'm used to. As for noting where any of these pieces are from, only a few have been bought in the last 6 months, but from left to right clockwise I have marked out those that have in case they’re still available (though be wary of the fact that it seems a lot of online clothes stores are still forcing warehouse employees to work in close confines at the moment and so perhaps aren’t operating the most ethically):

LOOK 1

Corset-Jaded London

Shoes-TK Maxx

LOOK 2

Dress-Motel Rocks

Boots-Koi Vegan Footwear

LOOK 3

Dress-Jaded London

LOOK 4

Dress-Jaded London

Beret-Ebay

LOOK 5

Beret-Ebay

LOOK 6

Mesh Top-Depop

Hair Clips-Urban Outfitters

Kat (Played by Barbie Ferreira)

Eurgh, Kat.

I LOVE THIS BITCH.

If I had to choose my favourite character in the show, it would be a very close toss-up between her and Rue, and though I think Rue might just about nab the top spot for her relatability factor, Kat is the girl I want to be or wish that I had been when I was at school. I mean, there’s definitely an argument to be made in that a lot of what she’s doing with her cam work could be seen as a means of validation (Sam Levinson has basically said everyone on the show has some kind of an unhealthy coping mechanism and I would guess due to the circumstances in which her cam girl career was borne and the fact she’s underage, this would be hers) but I do think in other ways we really see Kat reclaim her power and recognise herself for the smart, capable, gorgeous woman that she is. Honestly, the definition of divine feminine energy, and I would completely let Barbie Ferreira/basically Kat if she was also actually 23 dominate me.

Plus! Her! Style! Is! The! Bomb! Definitely the easiest character to base looks around because if I’m totally honest Kat’s energy is pretty much just what I want to emulate in every day life.

It’s either pieces that are typically feminine, cutesy, and even slightly preppy at times drenched in everything grunge OR vice versa where you have something semi-gothic and then add a colourful, more playful touch in there that harks back to the beginning of the series before Kat had began to explore her identity and sexuality and dressed slightly more Forever 21.

I’d say, not yet with my whole chest, that on a good day the outfits I put together when making an effort aren’t too far off something Kat would wear, minus the more overtly BDSM touches; if wearing a ring choker in London is enough to get me a creepy comment from a gross middle aged shopkeeper (because I apparently forfeited my right not to be perved on when I decided to buy a bottle of Oasis summer fruits), then you can only imagine the kind of looks wearing a full-on harness would get in my conservative OAP dominated hometown. Not the most doable right now, especially considering the only time I get out is to work and to go for a run. The chafing I could deal with but the horrified glares of pensioners whose M&S prawn mayo sandwiches I’ve ruined by simply being in their eyesight not so much.

LOOK 1-

Corset-Urban Outfitters

LOOK 2-

Bodysuit-Depop

Skirt-Zara

Harness-Ebay

LOOK 3-

Co-ord-Depop

Lace-up Corset-Missguided

LOOK 4-

Dress-Vintage

LOOK 5-

Belt-Ebay

LOOK 6-

Coat-Topshop

Dress-Jaded London

LOOK 7-

Fishnet Top-Ebay

Skirt-Urban Outfitters

Maddy (Played by Alexa Demie)

Not gonna lie, I was kind of scared to do Maddy. I’m scared to be posting this, lol! Alexa Demie has played this character for a single season and she’s already one of the most iconic women to grace our screens in years. This is a huge undertaking and I don’t have the bank balance or the body confidence (lmao) to raid IAmGia.

And this is where I want to stress: THESE ARE NOT OUTFIT RECREATIONS. THESE ARE INSPIRED BY. I HAVE ADDED ELEMENTS OF MY OWN STYLE INTO THEM. PLEASE DON’T DRAG ME. I KNOW, I’M NOT ALEXA DEMIE. I WOULD NEVER ASSUME TO BE ALEXA DEMIE. I’M NOT ABOUT TO TAKE THE LORD’S NAME IN VAIN LIKE THAT. So now we’ve got that out the way (wipes bead of sweat off forehead), let’s continue.

Everything about Maddy Perez is extra. She has very much been established as a centre of attention character, and her outfits are a key part of that. They’re daring, they’re hyper-feminine, and they are always glamorous. We’re told that she competed in beauty pageants when she was younger and it’s clear that level of excess and coordination and glitz and all-round-boujeeness wormed its way into her DNA during that time. Even the “depression” outfit she wears to school following Nate becoming violent at the fair is costume-like, a 2019 Bratz doll Off-White street style collaboration.

Do you know how HARD I had to try to be HOT!? For these photos. Alexa Demie is one of those blessed women who doesn’t have to try at all, and that translates into the character completely. At any given moment, Maddy could add or remove one item or clothing and be let straight into the VIP section of a club, and that, honestly, is inspiring to us all in these dark times.

One thing I tried to keep in mind is that she always looks polished and coordinated, I.E the kind of look I would prepare for a night out is something Maddy would wear on an average day. Co-ords and delicate prints seem to be more subtle wardrobe staples along with mesh and PVC and glitter and feathers and fur and basically anything that toes the line between expensive looking and tacky. Yes, I am aware we may toe different sides of that line but please let me stay delusional and believe that’s not the case for 5 minutes. Much appreciated xoxo

LOOK 1-

Bodysuit-Jaded London

LOOK 2-

Bralette-Depop

LOOK 3-

Co-ord Suit-Boohoo

Bodysuit-Boohoo

LOOK 4-

Dress-Motel Rocks

Shoes-Schuh

LOOK 5-

Bodysuit-Zaful

Trousers-Depop

Coat-Topshop

LOOK 6-

Dress-Zaful

Belt-Zaful

LOOK 7-

Top-Jaded London

Hair Clips-H&M

Rue (Played by Zendaya Coleman)

I have a complicated relationship with Rue as a character. When I started season 1 of Euphoria, I was like “Oh my god, this girl is the worst. Jesus, she’s so negative and draining and willingly self-destructive and-”

Then, oh my god is this what it’s like to live with me!?

I will say, to my own credit, that I don’t think I've ever been quite as hard to deal with as Rue (a lot less smashing stuff up and a lot more moping), and to HER credit, by the end of the season we come to realise she’s been through a fucking lot and so it makes sense, but wow. I don’t think I have ever seen a teen show handle drug abuse and mental illness in such a brutal way. It’s quite a talent to be able to show a character cause so much pain to those closest to them and yet do so through a sympathetic lens. And issues aside, whether it’s her occasional social awkwardness or her relationship with her family or watching bloody Love Island (still quite surreal to see Zendaya Coleman witnessing the Amy/Curtis drama unfold), Rue is just my favourite character to follow.

Her style, though. AH. The thing is, I can hardly drag it, because it’s pretty much what I wear when I’m moping about the house-or just any time I can get away with it to be honest-to a T. I want to stay true to character, but that being said, creating a “Seth Rogen”-esque outfit that’s worth posting on here is difficult. So, with the same kind of artistic license that had me wearing berets whilst cosplaying Maddy Perez, here is the best I could do:

I know, I know, it’s probably too much colour and jewellery for Rue but this is as toned down as I could do and I tried to stick with the key silhouettes we see from her throughout the season; I mean, I can’t see her wearing leopard print but the structure of the coat in outfit 1 is very similar to the one seen in Shook Ones pt.II. I think the bottom line when it comes to her character is keeping things effortless and not overly-feminine; you want to mix street style, athleisure and your dad’s wardrobe favourites like your life depends on it. Plus messy hair and smudged makeup, both of which I’ve already got down according to the completely inappropriate number of customers who’ve asked if I'm tired at work so thanks for that guys, and glitter tears. Lots and lots of glitter tears.

OUTFIT 1-

Dungarees-Vintage

OUTFIT 2-

Trousers-Depop

Cardigan-Urban Outfitters

OUTFIT 5-

Beanie-Depop

OUTFIT 6-

Shirt-Boohoo Man

Sports Bra-TK Maxx

Trousers-Urban Outfitters

OUTFIT 7-

Shirt-Jaded London

Cassie (Played by Sydney Sweeney)

Style-wise, Cassie is a hard one. When putting outfits for her character together, I found myself gravitating towards a direction that’s probably a bit too bohemian for her character, under the guidance of loose terms like “girl-next-door”, “floaty”, “delicate”, you get the idea. She definitely feels the least fully-realised in terms of all the main girls and I think it’s fair to say she’s probably got a bit of self-discovery to do. Most of her storylines in the season are dictated by her relationships to other people: McKay, Maddy, Lexie, her parents and so on.

Nevertheless, I tried to stick to the airier, more traditionally “pretty” pieces whilst still channelling the confidence and ease with which Cassie pulls them off. Sydney Sweeney has the most incredible figure and I feel like whilst the clothes the on-set stylists put her in flatter that and don’t hide anything, they’re still the focus. It doesn’t feel like there’s anything more inherently sexual about her character than any of the other main female characters despite the way the men within the narrative view her, and I think it’s a testament to the the wardrobe department that to me she still gives off big modern Disney princess energy and a certain innocence even whilst we hear her being continuously sexualised by her male peers.

If anything, Cassie probably dresses the most like an actual teenage girl, and her style, whilst less distinctive than the other girls, still does a good job of capturing the youth and romanticism of her character.

The colour palette of her wardrobe tends to be quite neutral, with a couple of pastels thrown in there, and if there are any details, they’re usually quite dainty. Similarly, Cassie is probably the least experimental when it comes to her makeup; we don’t really see her wearing the bold eyeshadows or liners or gems like the other girls at any point.

OUTFIT 1-

Bodysuit-Motel Rocks

Hair Clips-Bershka

OUTFIT 2-

Dress-Jaded London

OUTFIT 3-

Trousers-Urban Outfitters

OUTFIT 4-

Top-Urban Outfitters

Hairband-H&M

`OUTFIT 5-

Top-Urban Outfitters

Jeans-Zaful

Headband-Primark

OUTFIT 6-

Top-Urban Outfitters

OUTFIT 7-

Dress-Urban Outfitters

Hair Clips-Boohoo

SO, I guess that’s it for my Euphoria lookbook! As always, let me know what you think (nicely pls, my ego is fragile lol) and I’d love to hear your opinions on the show too! I really haven’t got this excited over a new TV show in ages and I just think that it does everything so excellently-from the writing to the cinematography to the soundtrack, you can tell each element is so carefully and purposefully constructed. It immerses you into the dramatic highs and lows of being a teenager in a way I haven’t seen since UK Skins and I never thought I’d watch a show which held a candle to that.

In terms of what I’m doing next, I’ve got a very delayed fashion week masterpost in the works as well as something to fill the Met Gala shaped hole in our lives, which I hope to get up over the next couple of weeks. In the meantime, if you read to the end, THANK YOU! And I hope you’re staying safe and AT HOME where possible. I know this self-isolation feels never-ending and if I’m honest, it is having a hugely negative effect on my mental health, but NHS staff are doing their very best with the shitty recourses they have and whilst it seems that our government have thrown workers under the bus once again, we can all do our bit to combat that by slowing the spread of the virus. Also thank you to anybody who’s out working now in such a scary and uncertain time! I work at a grocery store and can say from experience that the best way to show this thanks is just through kindness and following employee’s instructions without giving them grief for it. Everyone’s scared right now and the best we can do is pull together and look out for each other, as difficult as that might seem at times.

Anyway, sorry for the ramble, and like I said, stay safe! Thanks once again if you read til the end or even if you’re just here for the photos. Appreciate it more than you know either way!

Lauren x

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thecorteztwins · 4 years

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Something I’ve noticed in fiction and RP backstories is that when a character is LGBT, the parents/family react only one or two ways: Total acceptance with no issues, or rejecting/disowning/beating/attempting to kill their kid/etc And both these things do happen in real life. But what’s also very common, and which I rarely see represented or discussed, is a lot of places between the two extremes. For instance, many families are homophobic, but don’t want to lose their child, and the child wants to be themselves but not cut contact with their family. So you get scenarios like having bachelor Uncle Ted and his also-bachelor roommate Rob, who has been his roommate for 20 years, and may even get invited to Thanksgiving and Christmas. Everyone refers to him as Uncle Ted’s roommate or his friend, and Uncle Ted introduces him that way too, and it’s not until you’re 25 years old that you realize “oh, fuck, Uncle Ted is gay and Rob is his partner!” As bizarre as that scenario seems, it’s a VERY common story. Again, a great many families will, for the sake of keeping the peace, just reach an unspoken agreement that they won’t acknowledge it or bring it up, and that will do the trick. Another common scenario is that Uncle Rob and Ted have been together for 20 years, but you never knew because in this version Ted was never introduced to you, let alone invited to Thanksgiving and Christmas. In this version, the family will still accept Uncle Rob, but he has to do more than just say Ted is his roommate, Ted can’t be in the picture at all and Rob can’t mention him to anyone, especially not his parents or to you kids. You don’t find out about Ted till you’re an adult and between homes and need a place to stay and shack up at their place. It’s totally surreal but it happens. It happens a lot. There are also many parents who will be fine with their kid being gay in theory, but upset at the idea of the kid bringing home a partner. Or they’re fine with that, they just can’t let the partner meet the grandparents or extended family, who aren’t as accepting as the parents are, that’s very often the case. They may also “accept” when their teen or twenty-something comes out, but that’s because they expect it to just be a phase, and become concerned when it proves NOT to be. Or, if the kid is bisexual, they may assume they were proven correct when the kid brings home an opposite-sex partner. There are also parents who have nothing against homosexuality or bisexuality or being trans in themselves, but who have concerns related to what risks their child will be exposed to because of it. I once read an interview with a black lesbian who came out to her mother, and her mother’s reaction wasn’t to condemn being gay itself, but it wasn’t positive either---her mother said “You’re already black and a woman, why do you want to add being gay on top of that?” Her mother’s concern was the oppression her daughter would face. Likewise, a family might love their gay son no matter what, but be worried when he comes out as gay because they believe that this means he’s very likely to get AIDS, and they don’t want that to happen to him. My mother’s very accepting of ALL people on the LGBT rainbow, but she has said to me that she is less worried about me as a lesbian in this regard than a gay man, because STDs are harder to spread between cis lesbians. Speaking of my parents, they’re about the most accepting pair I could ask for. My sexuality is a non-issue to them, and they support all forms of gay and trans rights. But they’re also in their 60s, and not part of the LGBT community itself, and certainly not actively following how rapidly terminology and ideas are evolving now in the age of the Internet; the accepted view and words used around trans people, for instance, have changed really radically just in the past 10 years. So, my folks do hold some ideas that modern Tumblr would deem “problematic” such as my mom feeling that gay men are inherently more artistic and nurturing, because that’s what the gay men she’s known were like. Also, while she does NOT believe this anymore, she used to believe that men became gay because their fathers were bad or absent, because that’s what was the common view when she was a young woman in the 80s, and matched the situation of the gay men she met. She likewise asked me if I was a lesbian because sex with women was more gentle. Again, she knows you’re born gay NOW but in the past, those were common ideas, and the ideas that she therefore was exposed to. It didn’t make her hateful or bigoted, she was accepting of gay people even before I was born, let alone before I came out, but it did make her incorrect and going off stereotypes that corresponded to her own experiences and perceptions. So maybe your character’s mom didn’t have a fit and throw them out, but maybe she did also think that now her son would want to go shopping with her or that her daughter would want to take up golf. Also, while both my parents are very accepting of sexuality, they do get a bit more problematic in terms of how they judge gender expression. My mom is uneasy with butch women, and my dad kind of scoffs/is amused by femme men (yet oddly, has no issue with trans women, nor does my mom have an issue with trans men) This is another VERY common viewpoint I encounter---people not having an issue with the idea of same-sex activity and relationships in themselves, but in how “flamboyant” the person is. With many people, they disapprove of flamboyant gay men and butch women, but oddly in some cases it can go the other way around too; there are people who are just fine with the idea of flamboyantly gay makeup artists, drag queens, talk show hosts, fashion gurus, and hairdressers, but are more uneasy at the idea of perfectly “normal” businessmen or soccer moms who just also happen to be queer. There’s entire articles (probably essays) out there about how gay men in particular are marketed by shows like Queer Eye as basically being cute happy helpers to straight people, the cliche Sassy Gay Friend who just exists for the sake of supporting his female friends, etc. I’ve often wondered if lesbians don’t get the same media presence because we’re not seen as “useful” to heterosexual people in the same way (not that it’s any fun for real gay men to be pigeonholed that way either) So your character’s family may accept them but also start expecting stereotypical behavior from them, like giving their girly-girl daughter a tool kit after she comes our, or they may not BELIEVE them when they do because they’re NOT stereotypical, and that’s the only exposure to gay people that they have from media. You’ll notice I’ve thus far given examples only for a kid being gay or bi. That’s because I’m going off things I’ve personally encountered or heard of. I don’t have a lot of stories on how people react to their kid coming out as trans, but I imagine there’s just as much variation; I would check places like AskReddit for coming stories if you’re looking to find examples of reactions that are likewise somewhere in between total acceptance vs total rejection. For people who are asexual or non-binary, I reckon the biggest issue is just that the parents don’t know what the heck that even is, or don’t believe it exists, but I may be wrong, since I also don’t have much experience with this nor heard much secondhand either. Again, I’d seek out real stories from people and see what ideas you can get from those. Everyone’s coming out story or story of a family member’s coming out (or how said family member never came out, etc) is a little different. I hope this was helpful!

#writing #rp stuff #rp tips #writing tips #lgbt #writing lgbt #out of cortez

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lordbhreanna · 4 years

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RE3 Ramblings

I finished a second playthrough and felt like sharing some random thoughts about RE3make. Mostly things I have been mulling over the past few days. As usual, don’t expect many organized thoughts, this is just me rambling away about certain things from the game (mostly the story and characters, to be honest). Spoilers under the cut!

— One thing I love about the initial sequence in Jill’s apartment is that it lets you know her more intimately than we’ve ever known any other main RE character. It shapes her personality a bit, as well as her current mental state after Arklay… which isn’t very good. Her place is a mess, there’s beer everywhere which might mean she’s been drinking more, the board tells you she’s obsessed with her investigation, she’s not sleeping well and resorts to pills, the whole nightmare thing. But there are other minor details that I truly loved, and what I mean is: the girly stuff. OH YEAH. There’s this trend to remove any trace of “femenine” elements from female characters that supposedly fit the mold of “strong female characters” (I hate this phrase with a passion). Because, sadly, more often than not, the masculine stuff is valued as cool or positive (things like strength, power, violence) while femenine stuff has more negative connotations. So I was gladly surprised that Jill was allowed to have the kind of stuff that most likely a 23 year old woman would have in her apartment, like make-up products and nail polish bottles scattered all over her bathroom, a fancy handbag in her wardrobe, even panties, those fashion posters on the wall. I know it’s a very minor detail, but I appreciated it. Jill is allowed to be human in this game, to be caring and compassionate while feral and a true action hero. This just adds more to that; she’s a supercop, but she’s also a regular young woman in her twenties.

— Talking with a friend, I came to realise that the reason why this game feels shorter sometimes is because of the pacing. RE2 initial sequence was shorter and you were quickly left out in the open at the police station. But from Jill’s apartment to the subway, a lot more happens and it’s very quick. Now, I think that part is well done because this is Jill’s escape and this is when the city is falling completely apart. So it feels right that it is so desperate, especially because Nemesis is pursuing Jill already at this point. My only wish would have been that the time spent roaming the city, before fixing the subway, was longer. Mostly because I enjoyed exploring the city and its surroundings. But, in any case, I still think the pace fits the game well and the internet tends to turn these things into an echo chamber, so it seems that it’s a bigger problem than it actually is. (I lived through Mass Effect Andromeda’s disastrous release, and I enjoyed the hell out of that game.)

— Let’s talk a bit about the story. I think all the changes made are there to tell a more consistent tale of the last days of Raccoon City, why it fell and what the city represents as a whole. As I mentioned before in other metas, RE is not particularly subtle with its themes, and it’s not really the point. That’s why I think Jill’s last words are so important to understand every other piece of the story: it’s a story about how true horror is human greed, and how it clashes against selfless people like Jill, Carlos or even Brad. It’s not a cynical story, by any means. As much as RE is horror-oriented, I always find its stories quite hopeful and its endings reflect that. Look at RE2R ending too, or RE5. It’s always daylight, because the heroes have escaped the nightmare, and there’s usually a line about never giving up because it’s worth it, despite all the troubles.

This game deals heavily with the corruption that runs through Umbrella, the US government and the city of Raccoon City itself - which is something that already showed up in RE2R. I find that Bard is the perfect example of said corruption, and to be honest I believe that he is the worst of them all - because he’s the most real one, the kind of upper-class bastard that was part of the problem from the start, but would actually get away with it had he escaped Raccoon City. Yes, he had the vaccine - but he was complicit in all of Umbrella’s experiments, only took actions when Umbrella turned on the researchers and, well, he was a sexist pig. I don’t think the writers added that particular convo with the nurse for nothing, if only to highlight what a douche (as Carlos says) he is, and how this kind of person can do whatever they want without any consequences to their actions. (Luckily he got a bullet to the head. Nicholai is trash, but he’s trash husband material for things like this.)

Carlos is a super interesting case because he starts on the bad side, but you see clearly that he wants to do good, just like Mikhail. He’s honest about wanting to help people. And he does think they’re there helping, so I appreciated a lot how we got to witness this time his slow realisation that maybe he’s not working for the right people here. It adds so much more nuance to him, and it makes you root for him even more. I also appreciated his comment about how Jill even trusted him, despite knowing what Umbrella did. It speaks volumes about the trust and bond these two characters develop throughout the journey. And Carlos is also there to represent that kind selflessness we saw in rookie Leon, for example: he’s willing to stay in the city if it means saving people. He moves heaven and hell to save Jill, when he’s just met her.

But Jill is obviously THE hero of the story. And one trait we get to see immediately about her is that she’s devoted to helping others - first she tries to convince Dario, then decides to help the UBCS (despite ALL her hate towards Umbrella, and we shouldn’t play that down) because she wants to save the civilians. Then, once she discovers there’s a vaccine, she rushes to get it, because she wants to help as much as she wants to escape the city. She doesn’t trade one thing for another, and she tries to get the vaccine up to the end.

Then we have Nicholai, who is the main villain. I know a lot of people consider Nemesis the big baddie, but for me Nemesis is just the product of human greed & hubris, it’s a tool - monsters in RE are never the actual villains, they’re just there to have something to shoot at (there’s a great post around Tumblr that also explains why Nemesis may even have the saddest of stories, but that’s another topic altogether). But Nicholai IS the representation of said greed - he shows us to what lengths people can go for personal profit. This is something that is carried over from the original game, but the way it’s presented in the remake is more tonally coherent with the rest of the story, in my opinion. It becomes his main trait because that’s the underlying theme the story is talking about. Jill even calls him “greedy son of a bitch.” I think it’s super interesting that all his conversations relate to that and being selfish, basically. He wants Jill to see that you should only care about yourself and we see throughout the story that he only values things in terms of money and his own survival. He’s the kind of person who puts a price to everything. “There’s a price tag for everything, even letting the world burn.” “You can’t put a price on life” (meaning his own, as he decides to leave instead of getting the combat data of Jill’s fight with Nemesis’ last form.)

Which is the opposite of what Jill stands for and represents - her literal job was in law enforcement, she cares about protecting others, helping people, bringing justice. She’s a selfless person who can’t be bought by money, which is something that a greedy bastard like Nicholai can’t see. That’s why he tries to convince her to save him because of the information he has, adding that he would pay her anything. But that doesn’t work on her, because she’s not like Nicholai. Unlike the rest of Raccoon City, she remains “incorruptible.” She refuses to be part of that, and leaves victoriously while every other evil character dies along with the city (well, Nicholai’s death is debatable, but you know what I mean). In the end, she doesn’t get the vaccine and Raccoon City’s citizens aren’t saved, but Jill wins in a metaphorical way, I would say, and her resolve is stronger than ever. Her words highlight what was Raccoon City’s demise:

“All this death wasn’t caused by a monster-making virus. It was greed. Human greed.”

#resident evil #resident evil 3 #jill valentine #carlos oliveira #nicholai ginovaef #my meta #my posts

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surveys-at-your-service · 4 years

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Survey #309

“show me how to lie - you’re getting better all the time / and turning all against one is an art that’s hard to teach.”

Have you ever played Jackbox Games? If so, which ones of their party games are your favorites? No, but I looooove watching Mark and The Boys play them on charity streams. They can make up the funniest shit. I can't recall the name of the specific one I'm thinking of... but I enjoy watching most of them. I do think one or two are boring, though. Do you have artistic friends? If so, have you got their artwork displayed? I have some very talented friends, but I don't have anything of theirs displayed somewhere. Have you ever considered pole dancing? Why/why not? No. It takes an incredible amount of strength, plus confidence I don't have. That and I'm just not into it. What's the last thing you fixed yourself? Uhhhhhhh bitch I couldn't tell ya. Are there any CDs you've held onto for sentimental reasons? No. Did you read the Barbie magazines with comics made with the actual dolls? "I didn’t know that was a real thing." <<<< Me either. What's the last thing you knitted? I've never knitted before. Who was your first online friend? Emma. :') She was the first person who joined my RP mob back in the Animal Planet forum days. Why do you take surveys? Be honest. Boredom, distraction, and sometimes I just wanna ramble about whatever. Does mail get delivered to your door or do you have a mailbox outside? Our mailbox is by the side of the road at the end of our driveway. Your doorbell rings out of the blue. What's your reaction? Let Mom answer it. I don't answer the door ever if I don't expect someone or can peek outside and don't recognize them. Are all the lamps in your home LED or other energy saving lights? I don't know. Do you prefer writing by hand or typing? Typing. I can't write very long at all before my carpal tunnel flares up. Think of one of the biggest decisions you've had to make in your life...If you made a different choice, how different would your life be now? I'd be dead, that simple. Have you ever taken a course on CPR? No. What makes you laugh most effortlessly? You can guess it pretty easily. What makes you cry most effortlessly? I make it a rule that I "can't" listen to "Eternally Yours" by Motionless In White because there hasn't been even ONE occasion where it hasn't made me cry, even when I was stupid enough to binge it because it's just a good song. I've broken that "rule" before because I do just genuinely enjoy the song, but I know the pain truly isn't worth it, so I haven't heard it in a decently long time. What is the best smell in the whole world? Cinnamon rolls, probably. My body wash is currently that kind of smell, and Jesus Christ it's the best part of showering. Do you wear a watch? No. Can you tell time from an analog clock? Yes. What a time it'll be when kids can't anymore... Is there a number or a combination of numbers that feels important to you? Only dates, but not numbers themselves. What is the most socially awkward thing you've done? *gestures at my life as a whole* Is your computer decorated in any way? No. If your old class was to have a reunion, would you attend it? No. No. I don't want to relive my high school experience; it would be too painful for me to willingly walk into. What's the worst thing that's ever happened to you? I would say "the breakup," but technically it was letting him basically own me and my every neuron of joy. Not by his will of course, but my own. I was stupid and just... handed those rights over without really realizing it. I can harp forever and ever and EVER about the importance of making sure you own yourself and your emotions. Do you ever donate money to charity? If so, which charity and why? Blah blah blah, I don't get an income, you know this. Whenever I do, I 100% plan on donating to every charity stream Mark ever hosts again, as well as some other people's. I'd love to donate to a lot of places. Would you ever want to get married? If so, why? Yes, because society has made it too instilled in me that it's just like... this ultimate validation of "forever" with your partner, even though I know you can be just as or even far more invested in your relationship without marriage. The only *true* benefit of marriage imo is for legal and financial reasons, but yeah, I still want it. Like I said, it's too deeply embedded in that brain of mine that it's a relationship goal. Why do you live the way you do? I'm not even living the way I want to, so... Have you ever abused an animal? No, and I say "fuck you" with every ounce of sincerity and loathing if you have. Do you think animals are less important than humans? If so, why? Nope. We share this earth and grew from the same roots, so what *really* makes us better? We might be smarter (generally) and more developed as the apex predator, but that does not equate to being more important than, say, even a gnat. That creature has the exact same level of rights to be here as the human species does. I could go on and on and on about this topic. How close was the last person close to you who has died? Not extremely, but she was still important to and loved by me. Grandma and I were very, very different and butted heads more than once, but her love was unconditional, and she showed boundless kindness to others. She showed a courage I see as unmatched in the face of death. I truly, deeply, in the very core of my heart hope she is at peace and experiencing all joys she ever wished for. How does death in general make you feel? Well, it depends on how I'm looking at it. I fully accept it is an inevitable phase in simply existing that none of us will ever evade, so it's not exactly terrifying to me, though of course I don't want it anytime soon. If I'm thinking about people I love dying, I definitely get sad about it and scared of that possibly eternal separation. Is there a person you absolutely loathe? If so, why do you loathe them? Not that I know personally, no. Has anyone ever told you that you're rude? If so, what caused it? No; I think I'm very mannerly, honestly. Have you ever seen a therapist? I've regularly seen therapists since I started middle school. I advocate for everyone to have one, honestly, whether you have a mental illness or not. Have you ever been homeless? In technical terms, yes, but a friend let me stay with her until Mom and I settled into a new place. Have you ever been completely broke? That's the actual story of my life. Well, not me personally considering I've never had to take care of myself financially, but my mom struggles very, very badly with this, and mind you, she's frugal. Just disgustingly underpaid when she worked, and her current status with disability isn't exactly incredibly generous. I live under her roof, so. Have you ever had a steady job? No. Have you ever needed a loan? If so, what for? Have you paid it back? Yes, for school, and no. I do NOT want to know how in debt I am with schools. Have you ever wanted to go to space? Not seriously, no. What's the weirdest thing you've ever seen or heard? I am 99.99% sure mine and Jason's old roommates were having some ~kinky~ sex once while I was alone on the couch against their bedroom. Preeeetty sure the girl was making meowing sounds. They were furries (who I want to emphasize have zero judgment from me; I actually think they're very brave and creative), so that was... something I definitely wasn't used to hearing, haha. What has been the most exciting moment of your life thus far? Probably when Mark N O T I C E D me on Tumblr by reblogging a gif I made of him and his pupper, and I LITERALLY struggled to sleep for three days lmfaoooo. How many birds can you name just by looking at them? Uhhhh a pretty decent amount, I'd say. Which birds are most common around your neighborhood? Crows, sparrows, cardinals and bluejays if you're lucky, robins... pretty basic stuff like that. What do you think is the most interesting sea creature? Octopi are absolutely fascinating with their intelligence. How do you reset your head to zero, so to speak? Take a nap. That usually works. Have you ever gone exploring an abandoned building? Yeah, I love that shit and really wish I could do it more. Bring my camera, too. Are there any foreign television shows you enjoy watching? Some animes. Do you have any clocks in your house that chime when the hour changes? Do those types of clocks annoy you? No. I actually quite like them, though. Has anyone ever let you borrow some of their music, promising you'd love it, but you really didn't? Did you lie to the person and agree, or tell the truth, that you hated it? My dad lent me his Shinedown CD once clearly without thinking I could just look up the album online, haha... He's an old clueless man, leave 'im be. But anyway, of course I listened to it for him and I enjoyed it; I especially loved "The Human Radio," "Kill Your Conscience" and "Pyro." Have you had the same doctor pretty much your whole life, or have you went to a bunch of different ones over the years? Have you ever been to the doctor thinking something was horribly wrong with you, but it turned out to be something minor? Mine has changed a few times, but I haven't had "a bunch." As for the second question, not to my recollection. Is the background on your phone a default picture, or a picture you took? What is the picture of? The lock screen is a pastel-styled list of mental health reminders: "i am strong, i am loved, i am enough." My home screen has been some adorable meerkat pups for a while, which I didn't take. What is your favorite type of print (ex: zebra, stripes, argyle)? Do you have a lot of things with this print on it? Ummmm maybe plaid? No. Are there any stores you feel uncomfortable going into (ex: if you dress girly, do you feel uncomfortable going into Hot Topic)? Are there any stores that you refuse, or just never go in to? The only situation I could think of would be a sex shop. That'd be so fuckin uncomfortable. What is your favorite brand of clothing? Is this a brand that is sort of expensive, or is it pretty affordable? I'm heavily biased towards Cloak, haha. I just support anything and everything Mark takes part it, and it's his and jacksepticeye's business. I have one shirt and it's genuinely great quality and reall comfy. I wouldn't call its products expensive, but they're not cheap, either. What person do you text the most? My mom or Sara, depending on the day. Do you have any pictures that always make you laugh, or cry? Are they digital pictures, or printed pictures? What is the significance? No. Not pictures I have anymore, at least. Have you ever eaten raw pumpkin? Omg I would never. I hate the flavor of any sort of pumpkin food. Does your car have a name? I don't have my own car, but Mom jokingly calls hers "Olivia." Who was the last person you made plans with? One of my sister's in-laws that's actually the mother of one of my closest friends contacted me to plan some family pictures. What is the rudest thing someone has done recently towards you? I can't think of anything recent. How do you feel about your hair right now? It needs to be trimmed and dyed. How fast have you driven a car? I think accidentally leaning towards 80 on a highway. When you're hanging out with friends + you become bored, do you just leave or endure the boredom? Given I can't leave without a car, I deal with it. What did you last plug into your computer? What were you doing with this? The charger for obvious reasons. What color(s) have you dyed your hair? Red, purple, black, then red, purple, and lighter brown highlights. I really wish I could dye it more and actually have the color stick... Was your first kiss perfect? It was to me. What song did you hear last? I have "Over The Mountain" by Ozzy on now. (: Does anyone have any blackmail on you? No. Have you ever walked into the guys' bathroom? HA, once during a teacher work day (my mom was an assistant) at my elementary school. My sisters and friends went in there to be little "rebels." I remember being mega confused with urinals, haha. Then as a teen and adult, I've been in the dance studio's boy's restroom as well as a church's to help Mom clean. Who was the last person you had a deep conversation with? My therapist. Are you shy? I am VERY shy. Are you talkative? Generally, no, but when I'm in a very good mood, I tend to be. Has your most recent ex ever seen you cry? Oh jeez, she saw me wail once. When was the last time you were called "cute"? I'm not sure. Would you rather be called "hot", "cute" or "beautiful"? "Beautiful." Do you have a little sister? Yep. Definitely not "little" anymore, though. About to have her Master's in social work... How many arguments have you had with the last person you kissed? Given our childhood, we've fought a lot, but mostly just as kids over very, very stupid things. As adults, we've had a serious argument once or twice and then just some very minor disagreements sprinkled in there. Do you know anyone who's been arrested? Oh yes. What're you planning on doing after this? Another survey. What time did you go to sleep last night? Damn, it wasn't even 8:00. I was EXHAUSTED and actually slept decently for once in my life. Do you like waking up to good morning texts in the morning? I mean, I'd think most people would. It's a sweet, easy way of someone showing they care and think about you. Have you left some things unsaid with a certain person? Yeah. What was the last thing that made you happy? We had syrup to add to my breakfast, haha. I don't know if these are a thing everywhere, but I looove what we just call "pancakes on a stick," which is like a corndog, but with sausage and pancake batter. Dipping it in syrup is amaaaaaaziiiiiiing. Do you like the smell of rain? I don't love it, but it's refreshing sometimes. It's mostly just associated with a bittersweet memory, so it can be triggering to smell. I know, that sounds immensely stupid. What was the last thing you took a picture of? A very, very relatable meme to show Sara, haha. She doesn't have a Facebook, so that'll do. When you go to McDonald's, what drink do you usually get? I always get a Coke. What’s the nickname of your home state? Tar Heel State, from discovering tar in the since aptly-named Tar River. Have you ever thought about your wedding? I mean duh. What’s the worse type of weather in your opinion? Hot and humid, ugh. Especially right after a summer afternoon thunderstorm. It's unbearable. You can't fucking breathe outside, and you set one foot out of the door and it's soaked. Do you have a Kindle or iPad or neither? Neither. Would you rather read or write? Write. When was the last time someone took a picture of you? The time Misty visited last month and we were taking family pictures. Would you rather see Taylor Swift or Carrie Underwood in concert? I wouldn't pay for either or even willingly go to one or the other, but if I had to go for whatever reason, Carrie. She has a beautiful voice as well as a good handful of songs I actually like. I'm not a Taylor fan; there are only like, two old songs by her I enjoy. When someone screws you over, do you get back with revenge? No. I may not be the best at adulting, but damn, I'm not that bad. Name something negative that you hate about yourself? I overthink like a motherfucker. About everything. Is there a dead end road near where you live? I live on one. Huh, that's actually been the case three times... wow. Four if you count the apartment. Who are you tired of seeing in the news a lot (celebrities)? I don't care. I don't even pay attention to the news, other than Covid updates. Have you ever had to call and complain about a product you bought? No. Name something positive you love about yourself: I care a lot about people. Can you smell anything right now? No, besides however my house naturally smells that I'm numb to. Have you spoken to a relative on the phone today? No. How does alcohol affect you? I flush in my face very obviously, and I become more outgoing and talkative. Have you ever eaten tofu and if so, did you enjoy it? I've never tried it, but I very much doubt I'd enjoy it. What was the last type of meat you ate? Pork. What colour is your toothpaste? Blue and white. Have you ever been suspended from school? No. Have you ever inhaled helium? Once, I believe. Are you a fan of Adam Sandler? Yeah, I think he's pretty funny and a talented actor. What was the last fruit you ate? An apple. A candied apple for Valentine's Day, but still an apple, haha. Have you ever watched Parks and Recreation? With Sara's family, yeah. It was fine. Have you watched a movie this week? I haven't watched a movie in many months. Have you set an alarm today? Yeah, just to ensure I was up for group therapy today. Have you asked someone for advice today? No. What was the last website you were on, other than this one? YouTube. Have you ever been to Hawaii? No, but it'd be cool. Well, thinking about the humidity... Have you watched more than an hour of TV today? No; I haven't watched television in a long time. Do you keep magazines by your toilet? No. The last time you got dressed up, where did you go? I got my makeup done and put on a dress for a Halloween "witch" shoot with my friend and some other people. The pictures pretty much don't exist because they're blurry as shit and way too dark because we left too late. I don't know why we even left the house to do it by the time everyone figured their shit out. I was really disappointed because I thought Summer made me look really, really pretty. ;_; Did the one person who hurt you the most in your life apologize? Yes, but I don't know if he really meant it. He might have just wanted me off his back, but I kinda feel now that he meant it, at least regarding how it happened. Are you proud of who you are? Only in the sense that I think I have a good heart. Otherwise, no. I've accomplished so little. Have you ever been to Costco? We don't have those here, so no. Do/did you have to wear a uniform to your high school? No, thank Christ. Only in middle school. How many video games do you own? A whole lot. Have you ever been to a casino? If so, which one(s)? No. Have you ever visited a sex shop? No. How many sets of keys do you have for your house? One. Do you give spare keys to your place to your friends and family? Our landlord/family friend has one. Then obviously my sisters do, too. Have you ever ridden a bicycle through a busy city? Oh hell no. Do you use Instagram? How often do you post there? Yes, two for each of my photography "styles." I don't post a lot myself, but I react to stuff. When was the last time you high-fived someone? I believe the last time I was at my sister's and my nephew caught a Pokemon on his first throw in Pokemon GO. He and his sister LOVE that game; that's the first thing they ask to do when I come over, haha. Their dad doesn't like it because it's "evil" (which he finds most things, really...), and it's something I could roll my eyes into the back of my head about, but I still have to respect his parenting and ask if they can play it first. He let's 'em, just not long. He also took away the Pikachu plushy I gave Aubree because it's her favorite one. :^) Guess who doesn't fuckin like him lmao. Do you like writing? How often do you write? I love writing! I don't do it very much nowadays except through surveys, though. RP is kinda on pause, so surveys is really how I just get stuff out, even if it isn't creative. Are there any posters or artworks hanging in your living room? Artwork and family photos, yes. What's your favourite place to get pizza? I'm a basic bitch that loves her some Domino's. How many times have you been to the beach? Quite a few times. We live only like two hours away, and considering Myrtle Beach is a common dance competition location, we've been a couple handfuls of instances. Has there ever been a fire inside your house? Tell me the story. No. After we moved out of my childhood house though that we actually owned, the fucking idiots who were moving in completely roasted it to pitch by setting boxes on the goddamn stove and accidentally turning it on. The house had to be entirely rebuilt. My parents were livid considering it was THEIR house. Have you ever had a scary encounter with a wild animal? No. What was the best school project you remember doing? I actually really enjoyed the huge essay I did on toxic masculinity the last time I tried college. I've always been very firm about letting men be humans and not emotionless robots, but I learned a lot more while researching and writing. Name a video game you can play over and over again: Shadow of the Colossus is #1. I've beaten it at least 30 times, maybe even 40+; it's been too long since I've seen the save files. It's a relatively short game (you can beat it in less than like, four hours if you know what you're doing) and just very relaxing yet simultaneously absolutely epic to me. God, I want a PS4 to play the remaster, like beyond words. It looks incredible, and I want to try to get white Agro. Have you ever petted a cow, a sheep, or a pig? A pig, yes. I love pigs.

#survey #surveys #questions #lyrics: ''you're gonna go far kid'' by the offspring

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whencallstheheart · 4 years

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Thank you all so much for the questions. They were fun to answer. There were some repeats so I skipped over them when they came up again. If there’s more you’d like to know don’t hesitate to ask! 😀

It’s a little long so I’ll put it under the cut.

I love a “ask me anything”!! what made you such a fan of the show that you started this blog??

I think I initially saw a tweet from John Stamos congratulating Lori on her new show and that was the first I had heard of it. I think a couple episodes had already aired. I hadn’t ever watched anything on Hallmark prior. I'm a huge Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman fan (which was the first fandom blog I started) and when I watched the first episode it felt sort of reminiscent of that. There wasn't really anything on Tumblr about it at that time so I started the blog and now here we are.

Are you a fan of historical dramas in general? If yes, have you seen Outlander?

I don't watch many historical dramas but, yes, I have seen Outlander. I'm behind but I do really enjoy that show and plan to catch up eventually. Another one I liked a lot was Jamestown. I also enjoy The Alienist. And Dr. Quinn, of course.

Where do you live (city) and what do you do to pay the bills?

I live outside Portland, Oregon and I work for a large bank in operations. Currently working from home.

Were you ever a member of the crazy fanatical hearties group on FB?? Are they really that deluded about the show’s shortcomings?

I am a member of the Facebook group but don't participate or really look at anything but I like to be able to see if someone important posts something. I just see whatever happens to end up on my feed when I'm scrolling. Yes, but they're also not allowed to comment anything negative. It's highly policed so fans can't really have discussions even if they wanted to.

What is your favourite food of all time? The food you would want as your last meal, the food that makes you glad to be alive.

These are hard questions. Maybe a cheeseburger and fries. I also really love Mexican food. One of my favorite meals is something my mom makes which is porcupine meatballs. It's basically a beef meatball with rice in it with a tomato soup sauce served over mashed potatoes. Throw some peas on top and I'm a happy camper.

How do you stay so positive about the show when it disappoints you? Like the disaster of season 5!

There were some good things about season 5. It's definitely just a mindset. I was sick of people being so negative and dragging me down that hole with them. I still enjoyed a lot of aspects about the show. I still cared about the characters. I wanted to focus on those good, positive things and be happy that we still had a show to watch. And even now, I don't have many expectations. I just want to watch and enjoy it and not pick everything apart to the point where I hate it. It's not a perfect show but it's fun to watch and that's all that matters at the end of the day. There’s plenty of other things in the world to be mad at and a Hallmark show doesn’t need to be one of them, you know?

What's your favorite pastime and favorite non-Hallmark show? Also, have a lovely day :)

I basically have no hobbies. Tumblr is my second job. I watch a lot of TV (too much these days) and I like listening to podcasts as well. I play games on my phone. That's honestly about it. I'm super interesting, obviously. My favorite show right now would have to be Yellowstone which just ended its third season. I'm pretty obsessed. Otherwise, The Killing is high up there. ER. Dr. Quinn.

If you could a character on WCTH to hang out with for a day, who would it be? If you could pick an actor on WCTH to hang with for a day, who would it be?

Rosemary/Pascale for sure.

What is your fav color? Music? Other TV shows? Books? What type of job do you have? What State or Country are you from?

Probably blue but it depends on what I'm picking the color for.

I'm not huge into music or have anyone in particular I really love. I've listened to The Chicks a lot lately. I recently watched The Greatest Showman for the first time and promptly downloaded that soundtrack. I don't know. I just listen to whatever suits my mood. If I'm listening to the radio, it's usually Top 40 stations or sometimes I'll throw a Russian pop station into the mix which is fun.

I watch a lot of shows. I watch General Hospital and have for like 15 years at least. Grey's Anatomy, Station 19, Roswell, all the Bachelor nation stuff including some foreign series, Love Island UK, a bunch of ghost hunting and adventure shows lately on the Travel Channel, random shows on Netflix, A Million Little Things, 911 and 911: Lone Star, Zoey's Extraordinary Playlist, 90 Day Fiance and all its shows, The Rookie, Prodigal Son, New Amsterdam. I could go on.

I don't read as much as I would like to. I enjoy the Virgin River series by Robyn Carr a lot (also a Netflix show now but the books are much better). I mostly just read the trashy free ebooks in the Apple bookstore.

Realistically, could this show run for as long as Heartland has?? Does it have that kind of staying power with the fandom and l do wonder - is it growing it’s audience in any way? Cos that would help it stick around for longer.

Of course. I think it'll be around for a long time. We're at 8 seasons and with the reset, we're basically starting over with Elizabeth which is really exciting. The audience certainly isn't shrinking. I think the ratings generally stay about the same but more and more people find the show on Netflix all the time.

This is a very girly question but whose wedding dress is closest to your style - Rosemary’s , Elizabeth’s or Clara’s?

Rosemary's was my favorite.

Do you have a favourite colour?? And a favourite brand of make up?

I only wear mascara now because of masks and I honestly might not go back to wearing makeup. I don't have a brand in particular that is my go-to but I just stick with drugstore makeup. It works good enough for me since I don’t really care or spend much time on that stuff.

hi! I have some questions for ya! How did you get into watching WCTH? Do you enjoy period dramas in general? If you do, would you recommend any? Is anyone in your family or friends fans of WCTH? Do you like to read? Those are kind of a lot but I’d love to hear from you! Really enjoy your blog and fellow WCTH fans! Thanks for all you do!

No one I know personally watches it. Or at least I don't know if they do.

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tslasvegas · 4 years

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Episode 2: “I am typically regarded as a joke” - Livingston

Anyways... rip Colin, no idea who that was.. obviously Okay well I think we are out of the first impressions stage of this game and I think I've done an okay job of not making a strong impression one way or another, except to DeNara who I've been talking to most consistently since the start of this game. Except for today lmfao I was NOT active on purpose but I'll try to get to that in this confessional. I saw that the tribe went on a call so I decided to join and chit-chat with the girlies of this tribe and I've gotta say.. I'm lowkey disappointed to learn that despite being a returning player, everybody else on the tribe is friends with each other. Aside from Mo it sounds like they all know each other one way or another and I'm kinda left out of that connection. Even though they might not all be friends, it is a bit uncomfortable to be in a call with people where you know NOTHING they're talking about and you're not catching any of the jokes or references to other games. Also, I noticed that the personalities kinda blended together and these aren't people that I'd get along with in other orgs I play, so.. oops. One highlight of the call was that Nik was talking about Rachael and they were saying that Rachael got rid of them, I believe. Basically just talking about how they view Rachael differently because of that I guess? I was kind of in and out during that. But then DeNara posted IN THE TRIBE CHAT when it was just us three plus Kailyn on the call that Nik was spilling tea... and it was just. so. cringe. Idk if Nik or Kailyn noticed and the fact that everyone else was acting so nonchalant makes me think I missed something but either way I was on mute howling bc of second-hand embarrassment. As far as my current position, I do feel a bit comfortable with where I'm at because although I AM uncomfortable being left out of the friend group, normally I thrive early game when I get underestimated. I'm trying to just not make waves and stick to whatever plans come my way and hopefully people don't view me as a threat. Every time I'd leave and rejoin the call everybody was talking about totally normal IRL stuff so it doesn't seem like people are playing the game yet, but last round I did make a bit of an alliance with DeNara for the time being. Despite feeling like an outsider, I'm going to just continue to look at the positives of every situation because as a pessimistic person by nature, I'm inclined to feel doomed in any scenario. But this is my redemption season. I'm not here to get tenth place, I'm here to win and this season will prove itself to be an uphill battle and I'm just getting started. Tumblr Survivor has always felt like the story of Sisyphus and the Boulder to me. Look into the deeper meaning of the story and I promise a lot of the details do kind of relate to me and my character throughout my run in this community, but the general idea is that I've been tasked with a chore of having to push this heavy boulder up a neverending mountain in Hell. As a returning player, I've faced a lot of hardship when I could've just gotten the outcome I want the first time, and each return to Tumblr Survivor, I've pretty much done worse and worse since then. I'm ready to finally push that fucking boulder out of the underworld and bring myself back to the playing field I deserve to be on. For now, I'm just going to keep pushing.

So glad we won that first immunity. Why am I not surprise to see a unanimous vote for the first tribal. Even a self vote.... hopefully we win again today

I’m already over this tribe. Keegan and Liv are the only fun ones to talk to, Joey I think tries but also doesn’t. Also low key hoping people don’t know too much about Svalbard cause if people know about Rachael and I being close that could be a problem. I’m not letting my work schedule get in the way of my activity, but it’s a bad sign to me when I’m of the most active people on the tribe. I should be the baseline, not the gold standard

I think our Tribe is a bit laid back. Not much interaction, not really that engaging. I hope Jake and Kevin did a good job at the challenge, I don't want to go to Tribal again. The typhoon here passed, I hope Tribal passes too!

Woo we got out the main inactive person. Although really my entire tribe is quiet and lowkey inactive, but Jake and I talk a lot in PMs which is good. Also Stephen is doing his best with timezones so I know he wants to play bc he's always on when he is able to be on. The next biggest inactive person on the tribe is Kevin, but he instantly volunteered to do the challenge so yay I guess. If we lose though, he is still an option to go in my mind. I'm not trying to make too much of a plan because we could win this challenge and then I'm going to try to open the vault because if we come in first I will have 10 chips. But I still need to figure out if it costs 10 chips to open the vault or if you're just not allowed to look at it until you have 10 chips.

You want a confessional, well here it is. Nothing has happened. To be honest, I’ve barely even spoken to anyone today. Or yesterday for that matter. It’s also been quiet in tribe chat.

I finally got my tribe on a call. Most of them joined in, at least for a little bit so that was nice. The only person that wasn't on call was Ben, which kind of paints him as the outsider of the tribe right now.

...five seconds later

I want to get to know Mo better and maybe set up some sort of alliance with them, but they are so spotty with when they are on, it is difficult to keep a conversation going. I am not chill enough for this game yet lol.

ok. so like that's annoying. that challenge was supposed to be fun but jake is making a big stink. and like yeah i'm mad too but like it's over and it's just a game it's not like actual money lol. also, i don't really care if we go to tribal. makes you stronger. whatever. i'm sure he's a nice person but like i think he's just mad he lost. whatevs.

Nik and Rachael did our challenge and won. Thank goodness it wasn't me! What my tribe will soon come to realize is I am basically useless at challenges. Rip me.

...five seconds later

Yay! Mo finally asked if I wanted to work together! Took them long enough ;-) jkjk I am excited to finally start playing this game

So after a heated and undeserved loss - sorry Dan I know we talked about it but I'm sticking to my guns - I start packing my bags. All of a sudden Stephen wants to target John, John wants to target Timmy; and nobody is throwing my name out there... Like... Hello? I just got into a public fight with production, shouldn't I be target number one? And now, Xavier and I are the swing votes... How the hell did the worst Tumblr Survivor Player and a 45 Year old man end up stuck in the middle? What the hell even is this season?

WE LOST AGAIN. So now which alliance to choose?!

youtube

I can't believe this round. I should be the target, why - why am I not the target? I lost the challenge. I yelled at production. I am the easiest vote, but nobody is voting me! What is happening?? Timmy and Stephen made an alliance chat with Xavier and I to vote John. John and Kevin are working together to vote Timmy. Xavier says - "Jake tell me what to do!" Timmy and John are both telling me everything the other one is saying to each other, and it's amazing. I have no idea how Xavier and I are voting tonight. On one hand, you have Stephen and Timmy who seem like a really strong duo. But Stephen trusts me a lot, and if I vote out his closest ally than I'll go down that list - which could be trouble in case of the inevitable swap. John is MY closest ally, but if we vote him out the team is much more united. Do I play for ME or do I play for WE? I'm 95% sure the vote is going to be 4-2, and people are going to be blindsided.

“Theres three tribes! Means we’re less likely to have back to back tribals” -_- sure jan. So we lost again, blergh, looked like an annoying challenge. The tribe is still pretty muted, who knows whether they’re voting for me or not. I made a 4-man alliance with Timmy Jake and Xavier, which i do want, but we’ll have to see if everyone is legit. The two bad possibilities are if everyone is actually voting me for various reasons (timezone, round one oopsie, etc.) or if the real vote is jake for arguing with dan. idk, time will tell. From my POV the vote is John, pretty randomly just based on the fact of who competed in the challenge.

Hiiiiiii So I am very excited to be back in the game again. I very much enjoy my original tribe especially Andrew. We already have a Pennsylvania alliance with Stephanie and I think that that is good groundwork to have moving forward should we ever lose a challenge we already have three that are tight in at seven so if we hear anything about any of them targeting us we can do something about it. I like Livingston a lot and Joey but I can’t tell if Joey is 14 years old or not and that kind of bothers me. I am v excited to get with Kevin and see where me him and Andrew can go

Winning is great, but we need to lose the next one or it’s gonna be a weird spot if the first swap is at 18, although it is very possible that it’s at 16. I don’t want to go into a swap with all the agency being with Luxor, or us having the most players because in both cases we get painted as the targets. Bad news all around

I have yet to confess but here goes! I feel very good on my tribe. We seem to be doing fairly well at comps so far and I would love to continue to miss Tribal as much as humanly possible. I have talked to everyone on my tribe in some capacity but I am not trying to be the one to initiate like alliances and shit before we even have to attend tribal. I just wanna be chill and lay low while also being a good member of the tribe whom people like. Keegan and I have a mutual agreement to make sure each other gets far. I got first boot in my last game and he has never made single digits here in Tumblr Survivor so let's change that. One fear with working with Keegan is that he knows how I play. I played his game, Forest of Horrors, and got rocked out at the Final 7. Keegan has since told me that I was runner up for Player of the Season. I am typically regarded as a joke in this community but Keegan is someone who knows how I play and respects how I play. This game is an entirely different scenario so I am going to likely try to keep my connection up with him.

So the vote seems like it's going to be John Coffey. I'm quite sad about it for a few reasons. He is really nice and I know we work well together in games and he is a very loyal player. Also, Jake had an entire temper tantrum last night after results and that was just extremely annoying. But, Jake is more active and talks to me more while John is a rare sighting. Tbh I would rather it be Kevin but I think they're getting a pass since they participated in the challenge...always next tribal because knowing this tribe it's a strong possibility. I swear if the next challenge is a music video though I will punch a wall since that will be my death sentence since I do not participate in those. I never feel comfortable so I just don't. If we go to tribal as a tribe of 5, that might not be that good, so just really hoping that that is not the next challenge.

ok here's the tea guys. i am pretty solid in my tribe right now. after this vote tonight there 5 of us, and 4 of us are in an alliance, which is good. HOWEVER, i'm solid with the 3 people separately. that's put me in a good spot for a tribe swap/merge. obviously we're like years away from a merge. but we could tribe swap soon. we shall see!

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ghouls-dream · 5 years

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HC: So i decided to do that. For your enterteinment. i presENT YOU: ghost astrology. Papa Nihil - CAPRICORN : Since he is described as a powerful, firm leader with stamina and sexual energy (when younger). He seems to me like the old king in fairytales that refuses to give out his throne, no matter the fact that he's no longer suitable for it. Im not saying he's a bad person or anything, im just pointing out stuff i notice. And thats fine! Control and strictness is what keeps a good order and drives business ahead!

Papa Emeritus I - VIRGO: Now as the oldest one of the Emeritus brothers I strongly do believe he has the most of his father's influence, which doesnt necesserily make him bad or evil at all. In fact he tries his best to transform all the learnt lessons in something productive and useful for the new Papas! Basically helping them grow, teaching and showing them their ways in order for the bloodline to prospere. I imagine his number one mission would have been to fulfill his duty towards the Clergy and hiis father, but as well try to be a good exmaple for II and III.

Papa Emeritus II - ARIES: He is the middle child. Not too old, not too young but perfect to be between the hammer and the envil. I imagine him as a quick learner, deffintely has a lot from his father's leadership characte (big dick energy i mean), he's always trying to be better and stronger, trying to prove himself, to find his place in the family. Emeeritus II would deffinitely be the problematic child in my eyes, but also very passionate about his little brother - he'd protect him at all cost, which would probably cause HIM a lot of arguments with his father (punishments for instance), but also be extremely respectful towards the Emeritus bloodline.

Papa Emeritus III- SCORPIO: As being the youngest of his brothers, I suppose that III would be full of energy! I think he'll have a lot from his father's sexul energy and stamina, but he'd lack the leadership and strictness, when it comes to ruling. He'd be more of a friend with every single person rather than being their "Boss" (lol). Of course if needed be, III would probably make a good leader and a Papa - he'd do his best to keep everything under control, maybe he'd look for help or seek advice from his older brother so Papa Nihil doesnt think he is not fit for the place. But in general i think he has a soft heart, full of lust and desire. Papa III might be a little manipulative, sassy, flirty and secretive at times but oh well its part of his charm!

Cardinal Copia- LIBRA: Deffinitely a sass machine! He was the character that i was like 100% sure about! Cardi is a soft boi, he aint ashamed of it and he loves showing it to the people around him. His undying love for his rats and his geniuane good character are one of his best traits! Cardi tries his best to prove himself worthy in front of Papa and Imperator, no matter how sceptic the patriarch is. I imagine he'd be the sensitive type that would be in good humor all day, being all goofy and friendly with every single person, while doing his best to fullfil everyone's expectations.. And in the end of the day he'd just lay in his bed, stare at the ceiling and become way too self-critical about everything he had done during the day, which would lead to his hidden anxiety and maybe depression.

GHOULS. ERA 4. Aether- TAURUS: Beefy boi is definitely a Taurus. There is no other sign that fits him more than this one! He's humble, a good friend, really talkative, extremely friendly not only with the other band members, but the audiance as well! Aether gives out the 'big teddy bear' vibe and he's not afraid to show it. He loves a good company, I suppose he'd be one of the good chefs around the ghouls and he'd be more than glad to share this talent of his with the others! I imagine Aether as the jolly sweet friend who's always there to help and is really passionate and protective of the people he loves. Also - really sensitive, even tho he might not show it.

Dewdrop - ARIES: Hyperenergetic, attention loving slut. He's the human form of the word 'firecracker'. Dew is like a magnet for troubles, no wonder why he broke his horn! I suppose he'd have a lot of bruises on his body, maybe even tattooes! He is the sporty type - likes running, hopping, skipping around and most of all - terorizing evey single soul around him. What's more - he is 24/7 aroused and he aint afraid to show it. He's well aware of the fact he intimidates people with his sexually agressive aura and he enjoys every bit of it! Also stomping on stage and the little "guitar battles" he has with Aether sometimes is what keeps his competative spirit alive and in shape!

Rain- CANCER Softboi allert!!! Absolutely no doubt that Rain is a Cancer. He is one of the "quiet" ghouls on stage. He's not a fan of the attention like Dew for instance, he just loves to enjoy what he's doing! The vibe he sends out to the people is also really soft - Rain wants every single person to feel the melody of his bass in their hearts! For him, being a part of the band is like being a part of "God's work" to spread the gorgeous art of music! Rain loves to be surrounded by the people he loves and most deffinitely has anxiety around new people and sometimes on stage. He feels at peace while playing the bass and is also really caring and loving, always trying to make others comfortable around him!

Swiss - LEO: Swiss boi is definitely a Leo. He radiates such a strong sassy, flirty vibe i cant even. He loves dancing (obvs), being in the center of attention but not as much as Dew. While the little jumpy-boi is demanding the crowd's adoration, Swiss just gets it not the agressive way. He just naturally gets all eyes on him with his swift moves, sexy ass body, grea talent and backing voice. He deffinitely is the star "in disguise". I imagine him off stage to be as sassy as on it, but way more flirty when it comes to giving autographs or even talking with someone. He just flirts naturally, he doesnt even need to try!

Mountain - AQUARIUS: IDK why i get this vibe from his. He's a little(lol) dork. I feel like Mountain's the "dad's joke on regular basis" type of friend, who always knows how to cheer up a situation. He's not a fan of being in the sportlight, he enjoys his place. I think he doesnt like arguments or confronting anyone anyhow, much like Rain, but if he has to go out there and defend his opinion or someone else's he'd be more than glad to do so. The civilized way ofc. As much as he loves drumming and all the loud noise around him, i have a feeling that Mountain would love to be left alone in peace after a show, have a walk or just simply take a shower and read some conspiracy theories or his favorite series.

Cummulus PISCES: Girly girly girl VIBES!!! I have a feeling that the short, sweet little ghoulette would be A) a shopaholic and B) your best friend in crime! She's the one serving looks, willing to gosip all the time and most probably try to turn Rain into her own live verison of the Ken-doll. In fact i think they're both really close since they have share a fair amount of common interests like music, small animals, taking care of others etc. I suppose they'd often go for duets or something. Also I think she's the "mother-friend" who apart from being super crazy and ready to do a lot of stuff (brunch, nights out, girly nights with Cirrus and others), Cummulus would be very protective around the people she loves! Also she has a great connection with the fans - they love her and she adores them!

Cirrus - GEMINI: Cirrus is definitely the one that's more "fiery" from the ghoulettes. Her stage presence is showing really well and she loves to communicate with each and every ghoul. In fact if she had the chance, she would get someone from the audiance on stage and jam with them! WHo knows maybe they'd become friends after the ritual? She is one of the ghouls that have the strongest need to be around others. I imagine her being really close to all of the ghouls (mostly Cummulus ofc) and Cardi, almost as if she's the best friend of the group. Cirrus is definitely the ghoul that spends most of her time on the internet, chatting with fans maybe or simply spending time in tumblr or twitter, sharing her day and creating memes. Also big fan of posting funny photos of the ghouls and Cardi (Dew being super mad about it, tho)!

So uuuh yeah, that really turned out to be longer than i expected, but uuh I hope you like it guys! i did my best and i'll be super glad to hear what you think or even share your opinion on the matter! ILYSM

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akhcnd · 5 years

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* ↪ mishti rahman. she/her. cisfemale. ╱ i thought i saw jade akhand getting questioned by the police. the twenty-two year old is in their third year at west bridge studying fashion design. they were at manon’s party because she was forcing herself out of her comfort zone. do you think they had something to do with her death? + a mixed smell of lavender and vanilla, broken promises, and the sigh of relief when you’re finally alone.

hi, pals! it’s ya resident dumbass, claire, from the est. i’m currently on my game of thrones shit, so i’m probably gonna be screaming for the next couple of hours. bear with me, okay? i’ve been lurking this rp for SO LONG, and i made sure to wait until finals were over so i could devote my time to it. needless to say, i’m real exited to finally be able to join. uwu anyway, here’s my baby jade! fair warning, i haven’t played a character like her in a WHILEE... so let’s get right into it. tw: mentions of anxiety

shy girlie!! she’s always been that way. it wasn’t until she got older that she realized it ran deeper than just being shy. it was when she realized she was checking the way she moved, the way she talked, the way she crossed her legs when sitting, the way she cut the crusts off her sandwiches that it wasn’t just your typical shyness. eventually, she was told she had anxiety, and that made her reactions and thoughts make a lot more sense.

because of this, she wasn’t really the type to have a lot of friends. it’s not that she didn’t want them. oooohhh, she wanted them a WHOLE lot - the kind of friends that she would watch in the movies at home. she’d had a couple of them growing up, but it wasn’t what she had wanted. something was missing, and she was sure it was because of her. maybe she just wasn’t outgoing enough or fun enough. the list goes on. she was never someone’s best friend. at least, not in her eyes. she was always #2.

being alone so much did help out in the long run tho. it gave her a lot of time to focus on her studies which eventually got her into west bridge. she’s here on scholarship, which makes the party situation a lot more dangerous for her. if she loses that, she’ll def have to leave, so she holding onto hope that nothing happens

it also gave her a lot of time to go through her mom’s things, and one of the things she found & enjoyed the most was a basket full of old vogue magazine’s her mom had received in the mail when she was much younger. it was through this that led to her love of fashion. she lost herself in the details, focusing on every stitch of the fabric. a big lover of clothes, likes to pair different things up and pose in the mirror. made sketches all the time.

when it comes to family, it’s p much your standard. she’s an only child and her mother was a stay at home mom until her last yr of high school when she got a part-time position as a paralegal. she’s a total mama’s girl. loves her mom with all of her heart. her mom is basically her best friend so they’re super close. she cried for a while when her parents left her at west bridge. she also takes any free time she has to call her mom. she loves her a lot dad too but because he was gone working a lot, the bond is just not AS strong as w her mother but strong enough. she’s pretty open with her parents, and the party is like the one thing she knows she’s gonna keep hidden for the rest of her life.

she started out as a nursing major, a bsn specifically. it was a sensible degree. she knew it would make her a decent wage and she wouldn’t worry about funds in the future. it wasn’t what she loved, though, and that led her to change to fashion design in the spring of her first semester. she knows it might be risky, but she’s willing to work hard. she’s still scared of failing tho.

she made a plan when she got to west bridge to make a new life for herself. she told herself college would be different and she wouldn’t be so scared of going places and meeting ppl. welllll, that didn’t happen. she was really confined to her dorm or stuck to her phone when out in public. mostly focused on doing her work at first.

she’s probably made a few friends here and there?? probably not like SUPER CLOSE friends but more like some ppl who would sit with her if they had the same class or would smile at her if they saw each other. something like that?? plots, plots, plots

by her third year, she was fed up with being the shy, nervous, introverted girl. she had overheard others talking about manon’s party. she knew who manon was, but they had never really interacted. she made a plan to show up, even though her heart had told her not to. going to a party probably wasn’t the best way to start stepping out of her comfort zone, but she had made the decision and she was sticking to it. clearly that paid off lmao

going to the party did pay off in a lot of ways. she’s connected to a lot of other people in a way she’s never been. they all have a shared secret, much like friends would. though, she knows that’s a little too optimistic of a way to think about it. it probably opened the doors to a lot more interaction, but it’s also added more fears to the list she had before.

random facts !!

has an irrational fear that everyone’s like,,, staring at her & thinking she’s weird. really wants everyone to like her but she’s not sure how to make that happen (news flash, it won’t, jade).

very interested in strong female leads. wishes she could be them.

loves books, reads a lot bc she has a lot of spare time due to the fact that her social life is pretty much dead

she’s v nice! kind of awkward! gets ahead of herself sometimes! gets nervous when she has to repeat herself bc ppl can’t hear her! soft spoken!

really lives through her instagram. not to brag, but her insta is the fucking shit!! the theme is iconic. her own little fake personal life for those to see back home

pansexual ! let’s here it for that !

pretends she’s not but is really a hopeless romantic! *hint hint nudge nudge* break her heart. BREAK HER HEART ! do it >:)

has a job in the school library ! basically just reshelves books n things. her thoughts on the job? it’s aight

and to mention the broken promises thing, it’s party due to her anxiety and partly due to a variety of fears she has! she’s rlly a messy bitch !

okay so that’s basically it for now ! i ofc wanna develop her and to also make plots with all you lovely ppl so hit me up !! either on the tumblr ims or discord ( tell cersei#5135 )! anyway, i’m really excited to start writing with you all !

#ps.intro #HELLO ! pls plot w me ily <3 #also im lazy and didn't really proof read per say so if something doesn't make sense #CALL ME TF OUT

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lovemesomesurveys · 5 years

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Do you feel bored with your life? I do feel that way, some days more so than others. Like some days even the few things I like to do, like Tumblr and surveys, just don’t cut it. Who’s someone you miss that you haven’t talked to in years? Ty. Do you miss anyone who was mean to you in the past? No. How do you feel right now? Tired. Do you have severe withdrawals from medications? I imagine I would if I had to stop taking my pain medication.

What’s the most weight you’ve ever gained from a medication? I’ve never had weight gain from a medication. Do you have a doctor you can trust? I just answered this in the previous survey. Wth is going with these surveys, man. So many will have the same questions, and not just the basic ones that like all surveys have, but ones that should be more random like this. What’s the stupidest decision you ever made? Oh where to start. The health related ones definitely top the cake. There were things I could have and should have done, but didn’t for some stupid reason. I should have taken better care of myself. What’s the best thing that ever happened to you? When my younger brother was born (cue the “awwwwww”). I was 9 and may not have been psyched about having a brother at first (sorry!), but he’s the best little bro ever. Turned out so much better than me. He should be the older one, honestly. I look up to him. And also of course all the doggos I’ve been fortunate to have in my life. How old were you the first time you encountered God? When I was a young kid, but I didn’t really understand it and then I got to be older and went through many years of being atheist and agnostic. I was led back to Him when Ty came back into my life in late 2015. Have you ever been filled with the Holy Spirit? I believe so. Have you ever had an encounter with the supernatural? No. How many tattoos do you have, and what are they of? I don’t have any. How do you get through hard times? * I dont rlly do anything all that different. Like, my overall routines dont rlly change, I still do mostly the same stuff on a day-to-day basis. I do try to find more comforting and distracting things to do, tho, and I try to be extra kind and patient toward myself when Im struggling or when life puts some bit of unwanted chaos in my path, ahah <<< Same for the first part about not doing anything different in regards to what I do and my overall routines staying the same, but also trying to distract myself more. I’ve been going through a really hard time for a long time, but here we are. That being said, I’m not doing anything to try and better it, and that’s where my issue is. What’s the most physically painful thing you’ve ever experienced? The pain after surgical procedures. What’s the worst level of emotional pain you’ve ever experienced? Losing loved ones and my depression, particularly these past few years. Have you ever been suicidal? Not actively. I can’t say I’ve never thought about it, but I’ve never seriously planned anything or tried anything. I’m too scared and I don’t want to hurt my loved ones. And truthfully, I don’t really want to die. I just want to start living. I want to not feel this way anymore and not have this battle with my mind and feeling as sad and miserable and crappy as I do. I want to live a live I’m passionate about and actually do something. Do you pray? If yes, to whom? Yes, to God. Do you ever feel lost and alone? “If you’re lost and alone, and sinking like a stone, carry onnnnn.” What do you miss about high school? I mean, I wouldn’t wanna go back, but there were some good parts. It had its ups and downs. What do you miss the most about college? I’ve answered this recently. Did you like high school? Like I said, it had its ups and downs. What was the name of the first dorm you lived in? I never lived in a dorm. What was the last thing that made you angry? Blah. Have you ever been the victim of a crime? Yes. I’m a victim of a drive-by shooting. Is your life worse than you could have ever have imagined it to be? I mean, I didn’t imagine my life being how its been these past few years... …or is it better, or just what you expected? No. Are you married? No. Are you hurting in any way right now? Yes. Are you currently missing someone? There’s a few people I’ll always miss. What are you wearing? Black leggings and a gray Nirvana shirt. What was the last flavor of tea you drank? Peppermint. Do you feel like youtube’s gotten boring lately? No. What would you change about your hair if you could? I just need to get it dyed and trimmed. Are you jealous of anyone? No. Do you have a secret? Maybe. If you could tell anyone a secret right now, who would it be? No one. Do you miss someone that you blew it with? Yes. I’ll always regret how things went with Ty. Is there a guy (or girl) you wish you hadn’t screwed things up with? Yeah, Ty. What was the best date you’ve ever been on? Coffee shop and bookstore dates with Ty. What’s the last great song you discovered? Hmm. Do you prefer color or black and white? I like both, just depends. Do you own a thermometer? Yeah. Has facebook gotten boring lately? Yeah it kinda is. Do you feel free to post how you feel on facebook? I don’t really post anything on there anymore, especially not anything personal or about my opinions on big topics. Which stereotype do you fit the most? Don’t know, don’t care. What is your favorite fast food restaurant? Burger King, Taco Bell, Chick-Fil-A, McDonalds, and Jack in the Box. I haven’t been into fast food; though, the past couple months, which is very odd for me. What is the most beautiful landscape you have ever seen? For my birthday we took a gondola ride up 9000ft and got the most beautiful view of the mountains, lake, and city. It was incredible. What is one place you have always wanted to visit? Hawaii. What was your favorite vacation you went on as a child? Disneyland. Who were your favorite celebrities as a child? I was the 12/13/14 year old with tons of posters all over my wall from magazines. What was the first CD you bought? I think the 1st one I bought myself was Ashlee Simpson’s CD, Autobiography. ha. How old are you? 30. What year were you born? 1989. Did you go to prom? Yes. Are you jealous of people who are ten years younger? I’m kind of envious in some ways. For one, they’re 20 years old aka babies and not old like me haha. But second of all, they’re really just starting out. I’m envious of the ones who are living their best lives and having fun and the ones who are starting college and making the best of it while also having a good social life. People at 20 still have so much time ahead to figure things out, and that I’m very envious of. If you could rewind time ten years, would you? It would be tempting. There’s so much I’d like to do differently. The thought of going through college all over again isn’t appealing, though. But man. Some changes that I’d like to change might make it worth it, though.. they would make such a big difference for me. Some of the things I’m dealing with now I don’t think I would be if I did some things differently. What do you miss the most about your past? I miss my childhood the most. Do you like getting older? Not at all. What is the last song you played on repeat? Hm. I’m not one to really play songs on repeat, so I don’t recall. Do you own a CD player? Nope. What hard thing are you going through right now, if applicable? My health and life stuff. What do you need prayer for? Good health and strength. Are you ok? “I’m not okay, I’m not o-fucking-kay.” What’s the best retreat you’ve ever been on? I haven’t been on a retreat. Do you love free falling? “Now I’m freeeeeee. Free fallin’.” Do you prefer slow songs or fast songs? I like both. Have you made any progress toward going after your dreams? No. I don’t even have any dreams to work towards right now. Who encourages you to go after your dreams? My family definitely would. They always have. Do you have regrets? Do I ever. Does anyone really know you? I don’t even really know me. I’ve changed these past few years and became someone I don’t know and certainly don’t like. I’m struggling with whether this is who I really am now, or am I like this because of my depression and health stuff? I really don’t know. Are you close to anyone right now? My mom and brother. What color is your trash can? The one in my room is white. Do you know anyone who is stuck-up? Yes. What color is your dresser? Brown. Are you more boho, hipster, sporty, goth, or girly? I’m just casual. What were your favorite clothing stores in high school? Hot Topic, Macys, JCP... I don’t really remember where else I shopped in high school. Do you drive a car? No. If not, do you wish you had a car? I don’t drive, so I have no use for a car. Do you own a computer? If yes, is it a desktop or laptop? I have a laptop. What color is your cell phone? Coral. How old were you when you first got a cell phone? 16. What is your favorite season? Fall. Do you wish you had a popsicle right now? No. I’m not a popsicle person. Or ice cream in general, really. I rarely have any. It’s been like 3 years since I’ve had any. Who was your favorite family pet when you were growing up? My dog, Scruffy. He was with us from the time I was 5 until I was 18. What’s your favorite color? Pastels, yellow, mint green, rose gold, and coral. Do you like pineapple on pizza? Nope. List five of your favorite youtubers. Nah. Who’s your best friend? My mom. If you don’t have one, who do you wish were your best friend? Is your heart hurting? Not physically, but yeah. What song are you listening to right now, if any? I’m not. At what time of day do you usually feel the most energetic? Never? What medication or drug has given you the worst withdrawals? I’m sure my pain med would.

#personal #text #survey #surveys

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kurokonotext · 6 years

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My Friend Needs URGENT Help

Hey there, lads, lasses and non-binary masses. It’s me, after 84 years. My plan was to vanish into thin air and disappear into a cave of shame and guilt for abandoning this blog but this is really a desperate situation. I may leave links to my stuff at the end but I’m not here for myself.

PLEASE TAKE A MOMENT TO READ THROUGH THIS. IT’S REALLY URGENT.

My friend really needs help. She’s Portuguese like me and I’ve known her for about 16 years. She fled an abusive household at the age of 18 (2010). She had to endure an abusive mother, who would belittle her at any given chance and beat her up for no reason (with her hands, with broomsticks, throwing objects at her) saying that she would never have any friends because she was fat and fat people have no friends (she developed bulimia because of that which remains rather untreated because there’s no money for treatment and no support for mental illness unless you’re “dangerous” in this country) and making fun of her for liking girly stuff (which is incredibly weird, because she’s a cisfemale). Her brother would back her mother up and her father had Chronic Depression (as a side note, it’s ironic that her brother would say that depressed people were weak when his own father had that illness) and he wasn’t home often because he couldn’t stand his wife and he couldn’t stand the treatment his daughter was receiving. Her mother most certainly had Schizoid Personality Disorder, because my friend has it too and that tends to be genetic more often than not. Her mother was involved with Dark Magic and stuff like that (I understand if you don’t believe in it) but for a young child it was terrifying. The final thing her mother did was say she would rather see her dead than with another woman when she came out.

That’s the story in very broad lines.

She told me all this about two weeks ago after all these years because we lost touch for a while since we’re birds of a feather and tend to isolate when shit hits the fan. She’s been having it rough ever since 2010 because she never finished high school and has been jumping from shit job to shit job ever since. Her lovers have all been shitty and treating her like shit because despite all the shit she endured, this girl is a goddamn angel and she always puts everyone else before her and does everything for the people she likes, which could be okay, if she doesn’t seem to be under some sort of curse and always lands shitty girlfriends (I know, it’s not just cismen that can be trash, ciswomen can also be trash). The latest one is also mentally ill and has Borderline Disorder along with Depression and I’m not going to get into many details about what the disorder is about, but basically she’s not that bad of a person but she is very irresponsible and that’s what brings me to the point of this post and why this is so important and urgent. This girlfriend (who is now just ‘friend’ because they broke since it was clear that it wouldn’t work like that) had episodes and had to quit many jobs because of that to get some form of treatment (which in Portugal is still very hard to get if you’re not rich because there’s little to no awareness about Mental Illness and people tend to consider you either crazy or an attention whore or lazy and I’m sure that’s relatable to many of you, unfortunately). She’s currently in France to work as an Au Pair but she hasn’t gotten any money for her work yet and had an episode (because she didn’t take her medication with her and had no money to buy them there) and they’re still in good terms and share the same flat.

However, my friend is currently unemployed and if she doesn’t pay her rent until the 8th, she will most definitely be evicted from the flat with nobody to turn to because she’s not on speaking terms with her relatives and extended family and her flatmate’s family can’t help either because they’re also poor and have helped as much as they could in the past. My friend and I live far away and she has her furniture and all stuff to take with her and absolutely no money and I really feel powerless and hopeless for her. I’ve been trying to help as I can for the last couple days but there’s really nothing much I can do because I’m also broke (but I live with my mum still and am still studying and shit, so despite my Little Issues, I’m about somehow) and she has no friends’ places she can crash at indefinitely. So, after this long ass post, which I hope you read and thank you dearly if you did, I want to share a couple links where you can send some form of support, if you can. Everything is welcome and equally appreciated! She needs around €500 (around $581) until the 8th to pay for the rent and avoid the streets. So, really, any help is very, very welcome

She’s mostly a cosplayer who makes her own costumes and takes part in competitions and she enjoys acting and drawing, even though she lacks confidence and has the aforementioned problems. Her art is mostly traditional and she enjoys drawing androgynous male characters (and she’s got shit on this website for it because apparently she can’t draw ‘men’ in ‘feminine’ clothes and positions :) ) In short, she’s one of my oldest friends and one of the strongest girls I know. She’s super talented and super hard-working and maybe I’m biased and whipped but this is genuinely how I feel. So, here are all the links to her stuff:

Instagram

Ko-fi Page

Paypal

Tumblr (she doesn’t post much because of the hate she got)

Twitter

And I guess that’s all. Please, don’t hesitate to contact me for further queries. I have her permission to make the whole story public and she’s really weary about this (I only knew about it all a couple weeks ago even though we’ve been friends since forever, so you see how she feels about all this stuff. I only knew about the mental illness but not in full detail) and it’s really a desperate situation. So please, if you can help her out, no matter how small the donation. Please do. Follow her if you appreciate her effort and work if there’s nothing else you can do and reblog this post, so that more people can see it and possibly help.

Thank you again for your time and I’m sorry I’m suddenly turning up after so long only to ask for help. I wouldn’t do this if it wasn’t so urgent and important. So please, I’m literally on my knees praying to everything out there that all goes well and at least this community will be understanding and helpful. Once again, thank you for your time and attention.

(Here’s my twitter account because it’s easier to reach me there in case you want to ask something. Yes, I know I’m into kpop too now but that wasn’t the reason why I left this blog. You can ask me about that too, I don’t mind talking, I just don’t want to clog this post even more.)

#important #urgent #mental illness #lgbtq+#asking for help

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buri-art · 6 years

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we stan Please Save my Earth!! I always get so happy when i find a fan lol anyways did you read the sequel? i wanted to, like so so much because i've heard good thing about it but the change in the art turn me off, it is so bad?????

Yaaaaay, always good to find PSME fans! : D (This is primarily an Akatsuki no Yona blog, though.) I did read the sequel (Boku wo Tsutsumu Tsuki no Hikari, which takes place 15 years later) and although it has wonky art, I did enjoy it. I’m also four volumes into the sequel to the sequel, Boku wa Chikyuu to Utau, which takes place another 4 years later. My feelings toward both are a little complicated, so I’ll discuss Boku-Tsuki first (and I’ll also answer your other questions behind the cut, since this will get long!):

I love PSME so much that OF COURSE I love having more of it and seeing what the characters are doing when they’re older (though I’m sad that characters like Rin’s mom and Boon never made appearances! Tamura himself only had one scene, haha). It’s a very different story at first, which a fun focus on the children of a few of the old characters (plus some other kids they meet). I liked the kids’ relationships and perspectives a lot, with the PSME lore as background. I was hit and miss with how the old cast wound up, and it inevitably has colored how I look back at them in the original. However, I found the last arc (which spanned a few volumes) pretty… I don’t know. The phrase that comes to mind is a Chinese idiom, “pulling up sprouts to make them grow faster”, which means “spoiling by excessive enthusiasm”. It started to feel like Rin, Alice, Mokuren, and Shion were getting strangled by excessive drama/development. It’s like their characters were no longer allowed room to breathe. And it was during this arc that Hiwatari noticed that it was started to become a different story, which was why she abruptly asked her editor if she could conclude the series and start a new one under a different title. That makes sense, because Boku-Uta takes those changes a lot further. With this one, I feel it’s really overindulging in extra background development, which takes away from the mystique of the original.It’s also…. just weird. Like, Hiwatari writes weird stuff, that’s why she’s so beloved because her stories are so unique. ^_^ I’ve read a lot (but not all) of her other works, and I loooooved stuff like Global Garden because–although the art style was wonky–I’ve never read anything quite like it. Well, except for PSME–it’s funny how it uses so many similar themes but plays them in such a different way.

But with Boku-Uta, it’s like her publishers just stepped out of her way and said “you know what, you have such a fanbase that people will buy it no matter what you write, so go ahead, add more magic cats.”

So, like, I really want to like this one too, but I find it difficult to. I do really like the continued developments of the younger generation which Boku-Tsuki focused on, but other than that, I find it difficult to enjoy. I read Volume 4 around 2am in an airport and just felt angry by the time I finished because some of the new plot twists just felt so stupid. XDSo, in conclusion, yes, Boku-Tsuki has a lot of merits, but it’s going to change your experience of PSME, which is why I can understand why a lot of PSME fans didn’t like it or choose not to read it. Boku-Uta is a natural progression from the ending of that one, so if you choose to read Boku-Tsuki, keep that in mind. But hey, I AM such a big Hiwatari fan that I know I’m going to buy every volume of Boku-Uta anyway. Maybe it’ll redeem itself in my eyes, it still has some interesting elements keeping me going. Okay, on to your other PSME Ask: “sorry, i just found this tumblr so i’m going to ask a lot of PSME questions lol: favorite characters and why?“I love this question. : D Ironically I was just talking with a friend about this the other day since she’s borrowing the manga from me, and I didn’t really know how to answer it. As stated before, my perceptions of the characters has been affected by reading Boku-Tsuki.So like… just because they get the best development, how can I NOT love the Rin-Alice-Shion-Mokuren quatrad?? I keep going back and forth over the years between who of those four is my favorite. While reading the manga for the first time while I was a teen I think I usually leaned more toward Rin and Alice, but now maybe it’s Shion and Mokuren?? I don’t know XDDDAs for OTHER characters, though, part of what I love about it is that there are so many good supporting characters, especially beyond the basic seven kids and their past lives. So here are a few that come to mind to write some thoughts on: Haruhiko: I haaaaaaaated him with a passion as I was reading the manga because he was so whiny and helpless, UNTIL I got to the volume when he confessed everything to Alice, Jinpachi, and Issei, and it was like a switch was flipped and he became one of my favorites because of how much courage he had. You know how he really lightens up and gets comfortable talking with Alice later on? That’s the sort of person he remains in the sequel, which has made me like him even more. He’s mature and mostly at peace with his past, but not totally, and he can recognize that about himself without it taking over. But he’s not totally mature either—you know that scene when he fakes having heart trouble and then gets Alice to stop? And how he makes that “What did you think I was going to do? I’m not Shion!” joke right afterward? That’s the sort of nasty side of his personality that I love too. Looking back at the start of the series now, I see that he was courageous and understanding all along, he just had an extremely weighty situation to deal with. Mikuro: I can never see him the same way again after the sequel (in which he’s a major character). XDD It’s clear that he’s always been a pet OC of Hiwatari’s, but the cool, hard-boiled original character designs for him are nothing like the adult he’s become. He tries so hard to play it cool, but the guy’s a helpless dweeb sometimes. I always found it exciting to learn more about his EPIA life. An extra one-shot (Things Accidently Left Behind, I think it’s called?) gives a lot more backstory for him and introduces more of the EPIA characters, who I enjoy. (Fun fact: Remember his friend Tomoko who was briefly mentioned? She winds up marrying his brother Hokuto. XD Mikuro winds up in a complicated relationship with an American psychic named Pamela, whom I also really like, she’s a hoot.)Mode: I loved her as soon as I met her (and although I’m okay with how she was used in the final arc of the sequel, I sort of wish she could have been left as-is too). She was, through and through, such a good friend, but I like her sense of responsibility as a caretaker too. Lazlo: How can I not love Lazlo!!? The sob story gets played up a little TOO much and I think it was effective as-is in the original (like, we didn’t need to know that he and Kyaa got into the car accident while bringing home a toy for Shion to try to make him smile). In fact, it was Lazlo who made me realize that I have interest in being a foster mother someday. Rin’s Mom: She’s got such a rough job, seriously. She had a break-down, which I don’t blame her for, but I love the courage and understanding she shows after that. She’s the mom who Shion always deserved. Hajime: Always a favorite. XD But I also love that he’s not a huge influence on the story either, his mission has always been to support and take care of Alice, even if that means being critical of her decisions. There are a few extra chapters in Boku-Tsuki discussing Rin & Alice’s early parenting years, and they’re told from Hajime’s POV (he wasn’t exactly happy with the shocking situation), which I really enjoy. Daisuke/Hiiragi: He’s not as big a favorite now (because in some ways he and Jinpachi grew into lame adults XD), but I always liked him and found it funny how despite being the leader, he basically has no influence and is the least important of the seven. XDD It was liking him in a sort of feeling bad for him kind of way. The Lians: Part of what’s so cool about PSME is the development of the Homeworld, and I thought the role of the Lians fleshed out that world really well. Seeing Shion’s different relationships with them (they’re all doing their best, but the older one clearly has more of a way with him) was a nice touch. Plus, I just like and respect nuns in the first place, so that influences my view of them.

Tamura: When I first read/watched it, I didn’t like him much because I thought he was too nosy and I just wanted to focus on the younger cast; the yakuza subplot was a turn-off at first. But looking back on it, Tamura is a such a great and unexpected driver of the plot for a shoujo manga. Nowadays if I rewatch or reread it, you’ll even hear me squeal about seeing Takeshi again. XDDIssei & Sakura: They are such a stinking cute, girly married couple in the sequel, and now it’s hard to ever see them the same way as in the original when I could just appreciate how their deep friendship took shape. If anything I didn’t want them to get married because that felt trite and like a Pair-the-Spares trope and it made it seem like that was the only possible result of a deep friendship between a girl and formal-girl-now-guy-on-purpose-due-to-failed-romance. BUT!! Boku-Uta does provide a nice insight on that, which I appreciate, and which explains why the other three are singletons (being from the Homeworld, they have a different wavelength from regular earthlings, which is why they harmonize well together (as do Rin and Alice), whereas Daisuke, Jinpachi, and Haruhiko can’t find partners to be in the same harmony with). But to back up a bit, Issei’s subplots was one of my favorites in the original. That scene when he “releases” Enju’s soul to go out and love deeply again was so sweet. : DSo like, I pretty much like EVERYONE due to deep attachment for the series, though my thoughts and feelings change over the years. These are just the thoughts coming to mind at the moment. XD

#Please Save My Earth

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karak9 · 5 years

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Another stupid long post about how I don't know my own fucking gender

This is honestly just copied and pasted from a yt comment I made on an older vid and I figured I'd share it here bc tumblr loves this shit I guess lol. God damn I've been questioning my gender for so long and ik rn im prob not still in the best position to be thinking about deep life shit like where I am mentally and im dealing with a lot in my life and also very insecure about potentially being trans bc a lot of my friends don't seem like they would be very accepting and my bf is only really into girls. I asked him how he would feel if I was nonbinary or looked like a boy and he just said he wasn't totally sure but he's only attracted to girls :c he's the sweetest bf in existence and im honestly so afraid of losing him, so aside from obviously not wanting to deal with all the other trans shit, I definitely hope im not trans bc I don't wanna lose him. Anyways, ill start with my childhood I guess. I was always super tomboyish. My older sisters (im the youngest sibling btw) were always p tomboyish so maybe I kinda got it from them but I kinda felt like I was more tomboyish than them? I felt like I was the most boyish girl I knew, like even meeting other tomboy girls in elementary school I felt like I couldn't really relate to them or like they couldnt relate to me enough idk. I also remember once making up a song about being like so tomboyish that I was basically a boy or something along those lines and sang it to my best friend at the time who I copied like all the fkin time (it honestly wasnt healthy lmao I didn't have good parents, also I think I started making up songs bc she did that and I wanted to like impress her), but she thought it was stupid and weird so I just forgot about it and moved on. I was embarrassed to even enjoy playing with dolls or play dress up games online and was determined to play masculine games like runescape (even tho I ended up doing girly shit in runescape anyways lmao) and considered myself one of the guys. In 5th grade when I started needing to wear a bra I absolutely didn't want to, tho some girls in my class thought it was weird I didn't wear a bra when they found out and that made me more insecure about it, but since then I've p much only worn sports bras. I have bought some more normal bras bc I wanted to look attractive in them for my SO or whatever but I still highly prefer my sports bras and can't stand wearing the other ones unless I have to bc my sports bras aren't clean lmfao. I always hated talking about genitalia and breasts n shit but that could just be bc of how I was raised and how my family was always so strict and such radical Christians and anything sex related was a sin, idk if its dysphoria or not. I've never rlly liked my chest and hated showing cleavage like so god damn much and still do but maybe that's the same thing or maybe I just want smaller boobs and that's it idk??? Like I'd want to appear to have a completely flat chest at least, idk if I'd want to actually like have a guy chest or not? Also huge issue with ppl seeing me naked or touching my boobs but again idk if that's gender related or just a normal issue I have. Tho I had a friend in high school (a girl, a very weird lewd girl) who would occasionally grope my chest randomly and it wasn't a huge issue but kinda made me uncomfortable and more aware of my chest. I really like when I wear big hoodies or when I lean over so my shirt kinda poofs out and it looks like I have a flat chest underneath. Though im not super uncomfortable with my boobs, like normally ill want nothing to do with them but I don't mind my SO touching them especially if they're really into it. I wouldn't say im rlly dysphoric about between my legs either, like yeah I think its weird and I hate monthlies and stuff but I think that's normal. I think if i woke up one day and had a dick I would be fine with it, I'd prob even enjoy it tbh lmao. I once had a dream that i was, well, a male dog like,,, ya know, with a female dog, and not to sound weird af (hey we were both dogs ok) but I think i kinda enjoyed it? I don't really remember any other dreams where I remember actually having a dick or feeling it but I've had several dreams as a male person, but p much all of them were like, I was seeing through a character's eyes or smth, not really that I was a guy, so idk if that's normal. I have the same dreams about being other girl characters, I'd say its split about 50/50. Because of this game community im in, a lot of ppl assume im a guy, and a lot of people still think im a guy and I haven't really bothered to correct them but idk if I find it more enjoyable bc its funny or if I enjoy not being referred to as female for once. I'll admit I feel most comfortable referred to as they/them, like without a doubt, if I could go by only 1 set of pronouns for the rest of my life it would be they/them. But ik that's not enough to call myself trans. I definitely wouldn't want to be 100% male. Like if I imagine myself as a grown man vs a grown woman id prob choose to be a woman. I don't like my voice but I think that's mostly just bc I sound 10 years younger than I actually am, and wouldn't really want a deep/masculine voice. Like a "tomboy" voice would be fine if that makes sense? I don't want facial hair or want to have a masculine body, I like that I have curves and soft skin and small hands. Personally I like my hair long bc its soft and people love it, but sometimes I kinda wish I had short hair and could pass as a boy. Like I'd wanna be a typical cute kpop boy ngl lmfao. I like the whole cute androgynous/feminine boy look and wish I could pull it off. Tho I also like really girly things sometimes and am okay being seen as a girl, i just want to be cute and attractive. Ik whether im trans or not I like being a mix of feminine and masculine, tho I admit in the past I've been kinda insecure bc I used to be super sure I was nb and thought me liking girly things and wanting to still havd long hair and wear girly clothes made me seem like "not trans enough" or whatever. But i guess here I am questioning myself again anyways. If I am nb, it sucks that ill never really be able to be openly myself and all but I've accepted by now that I kinda have to pick a binary and choose what I want to be seen as for the rest of my life, and im ok with being female. There are some things I dont like about my body whether they're really gender related or not but I can't afford to transition and wouldn't like most of the effects of T and am afraid of surgery and not sure I want top surgery enough to ever get it anyways, but I think if we lived in a perfect world and I could magically change my body at will and I wasnt afraid of judgment or being unattractive or whatever, I'd probably want to look androgynous and itd be cool to be able to change my genitalia at will lmao. If I had to choose 1 genitalia over the over I honestly have no idea what I'd choose but I have no desire to ever get bottom surgery, at the same time tho I honestly wanna someday get surgery or w/e to never be able to get pregnant. I just could not handle pregnancy or giving birth and I don't even like babies and breast feeding sounds awful so if I ever have kids they will be adopted 100% and most likely be older and like not newborn babies lmfao, babies are honestly so weird to me and they stink and cry and they're so fragile and im so afraid of like dropping them when I hold them lmao. But I like my nieces and nephews and I like being the cool aunt (is there a gender neutral version of aunt/uncle?) who lets them use my art supplies and helps them do fun stuff even if I get tired of them sometimes lol. Idk if that's gender related either but yeah I guess. This if kind of a more recent thing but I often say I'd make a great bf kinda as a joke bc of how I am in relationships like being the stereotypical sweet bf type who makes things for their partner a lot and wants to be their knight in shining armor and their protector and all that, but again prob not rlly trans related lmao just thought I'd throw that out there I guess. So when I was 17 was when I really started getting into trans stuff, prior to that I mostly just learned from my parents that trans ppl were "against god" and all that bs, and eventually started realizing lgbt+ isn't as bad as my family said and later realized I was bi. But anyways I met an agender person online when i was 17ish and I'd never heard it before and thought it was really interesting and asked them how you know you're agender bc after hearing their explanation of it i thought it described how I felt, but ofc they weren't transmed and just described it as being like a deep feeling or whatever and since then i started calling myself agender (and switched between a few labels but basically nonbinary) until my transmed friend told me I was ridiculous and that I wasn't trans, and honestly he was a huge dick but im a huge pushover lmao and I thought well he's trans so he must know what he's talking about, and though I felt discouraged about it I stopped calling myself nonbinary. Then I began questioning it again after not too long and basically since then I've been questioning my gender off and on. I'm now 22 and god I fucking hope im cis but also I feel like a part of me doesn't want to be cis if that makes sense?? Idk if that's because I don't like being a girl for some weird deep reason I don't know about despite being pretty sure I've gotten a lot of my feelings and their reasons behind them figured out, or if it's because I am trans and dont want to force myself to pretend im a girl 100% forever. At the very least, whatever the fuck my gender is, I want to continue going by they\them wherever I can and pretending to be a boy to strangers online and I'd love to cosplay male characters and bind and occasionally just dress masculine for the hell of it and probably wear sports bras for the rest of my life. I feel like in a way I cang possibly be trans because I can live with all of those things and be fairly comfortable still being seen as female for the rest of my life. But idk, I have bpd and other mental shit so sometimes im not great with my feelings (tho I do try really hard to identify all of my feelings/emotions and stuff) but at the same time bpd can cause weird identity shit so maybe its just a weird mix of a bunch of crap and im not actually trans but just weird and tomboyish enough to question my gender for 5 years and still be unsure. Also I know a lot of ppl suggest talking to a therapist/psychologist/whatever professional and trust me I would love to but I can't currently and am unsure when ill be able to bc they're expensive and I live in the middle of fucking nowhere so finding a decent therapist around where I live rn is going to be very difficult. Also, I have fucking crippling social anxiety lmao like I'd be so afraid to open up about this stuff even to a professional. So if anyone could suggest anything online that could help that would be amazing

#Trans #nonbinary #nb #genderqueer #gender questioning #transmed #pls help me lmao I hate my brain sm #also im so sorry if this post is scuffed af #im on mobile #its 4 am I cba

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