#maybe they were at some point maybe they were always different. who knows with all those time shenanigans

[sunshinemakesmesleepy]

I’m not the same person I was four years ago. Not even by a long shot. The jump from 17 to 21 was huge. Not even from a stand point of life experience or emotional intelligence, but before I got to college, i was always on guard. I never felt safe, and I never really was safe. I was sick and I was paranoid, I was easily started and angry and emotional but also incredibly repressed. I was a shell of who I was and yet some how that shell managed to craft meaningful and life saving friendships and connections that got me out of the death trap of a house I grew up in, and out of the clutches of two incredibly toxic and flawed parents who maybe once wanted the best for me, but quickly realized that they weren’t willing to put in the effort to help me achieve that. And so up until I escaped, I wasn’t me. I was whoever I needed to be to survive. I look back at pictures and old journals and even art, and I don’t recognize myself. I see glimpses but it’s all incredibly ingenuine. And yet people learned to love that version of me, outside of my house hold, and so in a way that version became real, to an extent. But it wasn’t vulnerable. Even if it was honest at times. It was shallow and impenetrable and ever changing. It wasn’t me. It was a tool I used to keep me, the real me, safe. And I learned to live like that. To even enjoy it in the moments that could be afforded

After my brief stint in college, after dropping out and cutting my remaining bio parent off, after leaving and starting over and rebuilding myself from scratch, I look like an evolution of a version of my younger self I had to leave behind in the name or survival. I show my new friends and my new community pictures of how I was back then, as a teenager, at 17, and they don’t recognize me. They’re horrified. They say I look sick and sad and miserable. They can’t find the light in my eyes. They ask why my smile never shows my teeth. I say I was never happy enough to get there genuinely. And I never got the hang of trying to fake it. I tell stories of who I was and what I did and they furrow their brows because it goes against everything they see in me now. The bright smiles, the flash of teeth, the bleach blonde hair, thick and curly round my head like a halo. They look at my heat straightened dark hair, carelessly cut into a blunt bob, patchy on the sides from a once unknown disease, and frown. I ask if they think they could have loved me back then, and they say of course. But I was easier to love in some ways, as a soft spoken terrified teenager, uncomplicated and unexceptional. Now I am a full person, with complexity and insight, and so it feels like if they could love me like this, as flawed and honest, of course they could love the palatable simple quiet version of me that once was.

But to walk back into the embrace of people who’ve only loved you as you stand behind a mask. Who say through the cracks of your armor much less than what you they thought. Who don’t know the depth of your genuine happiness and joy, your real smile, the way you talk for hours without fear. To do that feels more so like the potential for rejection, that the preference of a fake mask versus the real thing, might just be the thing that destroys you. And when you’ve walked the line of life an death too many times to count, that’s saying a lot.

But then my sister, seeing me in person for the first time in years tells me that I look healthy. Radiant. Like the sun. My brother too. My old friends, mothers and fathers who took me in as their own. Over and over again, they say: you look bright you seem happy I am so glad you are not suffering as you once were let me get to know you now; and while I am afraid of their rejection, their distaste in my future honesty, I am even more so enamored with their compassion and their kindness and desire to get to know me now as I am.

I came back different, but I didn’t come back wrong. I am not who I once was but that is okay. My soul at its core has not changed and those who know that hold me close and tell me they love me as I am, no matter what version no matter what time, no matter who I will be or who I have been, they will still love me because I am still myself. Even if I am different, even if part of it is nothing more than a lie, that lie is still a part of me and so it still means something. Even if it’s false. Fabricated. A means to an end. Protection from outside forces.

Let me get to know you now. I promise I will love you despite anything.

And against my better judgement I agree. And I never regret it

"You don't know me. I'm not the same person anymore."

"That's okay. I'll get to know you again."

[airybcby]

I don't know if requests for non event things are open or not but take this as more of an idea😭😭 don't feel complied to write it if you don't want to or can't atm. I reaaaally love ur fics so far and I discovered you through the spotify wrapped event thing. Hope ur asks aren't too flooded from the event tho, it seems like a lot😅 it's rlly impressive you can write so much in like a day. I would get burnt out 😭

Anywho, I just saw a tiktok video (https://vt.tiktok.com/ZS6r5pYuM/) and thought it would be a really cute (and really embarrassing) fanfic idea. I was hoping u could maybe write headcanons or a full on fanfic about the scenario with blue lock characters. Specifically rin, but anyone will be fine if you wanna do multiple characters��� you can change the "guy friend" bit in the video to bf if u want idrm

Sorry if it was too long😭😭

hi hi!! my asks are open for anything and everything rn (including my event that i’m running rn) tysm!! i just have some days where writing is easier than others, and i can’t stop the word vomit and ideas tbh🙏

AND HELLO THIS IS SO SILLY AND CUTIE IM OBSESSED

so sorry this has taken so long to get to, my inbox was FLOODED and i'm slowly trying to get through them all!

જ⁀♡⊹｡° if your first kiss goes well...

( rin itoshi x gn! reader )

♡ a/n — airy get through your inbox challenge START! I made it to where rin is your bf and it's kind of new instead of just being a friend :)

♡ word count — 430

♡ content — rin itoshi x gn! reader, established relationship (it's new), written at like midnight so it's prob bad, reader and rin are inexperienced, puppy dog love, maybe ooc rin?, not proofread

♡ synopsis — Rin Itoshi wasn't someone who crumbled. ever. So when you go to his house and hear him watching a video on how to have your first kiss? It's just a little entertaining.

── .✦ act natural, don't press too hard

It was still new, this thing with Rin.

New enough that your heart fluttered every time his hand brushed yours. New enough that when he offered you his bed with a quiet “You can sit,” it felt like more than just politeness.

His room was neat. Lived-in, but still precise—like him. He disappeared into the bathroom after a murmured “Be right back,” taking his phone with him, and you were left to take it all in.

You were just settling in, fingers playing with the hem of his hoodie you’d stolen earlier, when his speaker—still connected to his phone—came to life.

"Hi! Nervous about your first kiss? Don’t worry, we’ve got you covered—"

Your eyebrows shot up.

"First, make sure you’re both comfortable. Confidence is key, but don’t worry if you’re nervous—"

You bit your lip to keep from laughing. No way.

The audio cut off a second later. Maybe he paused the video. Maybe he’d noticed the speaker was connected. Either way, you were still smiling when he came back out.

He looked calm. Composed. Like he always did.

But you could feel something different under the surface—something uncertain, maybe even shy—as he stood in front of you, hands shoved in his pockets.

You stood, meeting him halfway. “Hey,” you said softly.

“Hey,” he murmured, eyes flicking to yours.

There was a beat of silence, and then: “Do you… wanna kiss me?”

He didn’t say anything at first. Just blinked. Then gave the smallest nod.

Your heart jumped.

You stepped closer, slowly, carefully. His hands twitched at his sides, but he didn’t pull away when you leaned in, tilting your head just a little.

When your lips met, it was soft. Hesitant. A little uncoordinated, but so full of intent you thought your chest might burst. He kissed you back like he meant it—like he’d been waiting for it.

When you pulled away, his eyes were still half-lidded, dazed.

You smiled, heart racing. “Better than the video?”

“…What?”

You giggled, lifting your hand to point toward the speaker sitting innocently on his nightstand. “That. It was playing your video.”

Rin froze.

Then slowly—painfully—turned to look at the speaker like it had personally betrayed him. His ears flushed pink. “I’m sorry…” he muttered, voice tight, almost ashamed.

You couldn’t help it—you cupped his cheeks in your hands, thumbs brushing over warm skin. “I think it was cute.”

He blinked down at you, and you watched his gaze flicker—first to your eyes, then down to your lips.

You smiled.

“...Another one?”

He didn’t say anything.

Just nodded.

And kissed you again.

this is so cutie i cannot

likes, comments, and reblogs are appreciated!

❀ tags: ❀ @kenyuukissme ❀ @irethepotato ❀ @kiyy0mei ❀ @x3nafix ❀ @sugacor3 ❀ @ohagiyo ❀ @reigensuperstar ❀ @nevvynevnev ❀ join the taglist here !

⋆.˚✮ 2025 ©airybcby ✮˚.⋆

[alpali]

Hi hi Ali, congratulations on 700 followers! Your writing is so good I'm glad people are appreciating it (⁠*⁠˘⁠︶⁠˘⁠*⁠)⁠.⁠｡⁠*⁠♡

May I ask something for your event?

If yes, may I have Atsumu and the trope "singing your favorite lovesong to them as if you are truly dedicating the song to them"? I thought the trope is super cute and a bit of yearning is always endearing. If it's ok, a drabble would be good

Once again, congratulations 💙

Having a roommate who was tall hot and cocky was definitely a challenge. You had applied for the room since he lived close to your campus and at first he was very respectful, no boundaries crossed, very much a gentleman.

However when the two of you grew closer, maybe even blurring the lines between friends or lovers, his goofy side made an appearance. He was loud, a baby, flirtatious, inappropriate. You always replied with a playful roll of your eyes, indulging in his dumb banter.

Lazy early mornings were a regular for the two of you. You’d wake up, get breakfast started and Atsumu would come strolling in, half asleep. You hand him his mug, all apart of this routine. He leans against the counter watching you with a soft smile.

You gasp when your favorite song plays through the speaker. You immediately start humming, swaying your hips. Atsumu breathes out a laugh. You look so cute and so domestic with nothing but your oversized shirt and shorts. Yet you take him by surprise when you whip around, holding the spatula and walking towards him and singing.

“Oh—I wanna take two, I wanna break through—I wanna know the real thing about you, so I can see you in a new light~”

You push his mug to the side, forcing him to dance with you. He looks amused, staring down at you with adoration.

“What is this hm?”

You don’t answer, only singing more.

“Oh~ we can go far from here and make a new world together babe.”

He grins, which you can only guess was due to the pet name.

“Cause if you give me just one night, you’re gonna see me in a new light.”

He doesn’t say anything else, letting you lead him as you both sway away in the kitchen. Food, his mug, your spatula, all of it forgotten. At some point his hands had ended up in your waist and your hands on his shoulders. He twirls you around solely because he loved the way you smiled when he did. He pulls you against him but you’re not done just yet.

“What do I do with all this—what do I do with all this, this love that’s running through my veins for you.”

This couldn’t just be you singing right?

This had to have meant something.

It was all getting to him. The you looked at him with your doe eyes. He couldn’t ignore the way you looked so happy and he tells himself he doesn’t want to see you any different. When the song finally dies out, you giggle against him. He smiles down at you lovingly, fixing your hair.

“Yer so cute.” He smiles, he so badly wanted to kiss you.

You guys were so close anyways, this all felt so intimate but god he didn’t care. He loved every second of this and he didn’t want any of it to end. You laugh, patting at his chest.

“I love that song so much. You should be happy I sang it to you.” You tease and he throws his head back with a laugh.

“Ya sayin I’m special?” He quirks a brow and you roll your eyes.

“Sure—‘sumu.” You slide off of him, turning off the stove.

“Well I’d say yer in love with me after that kind of performance.” You smile to yourself, serving him food.

“And if I am?” He’s taken aback, his cheeks flushing red.

“Yer gonna kill me ya know.” You giggle again, taking a bite of your food.

“But I’d say that I’m in love with ya too.” He smirks, glancing at you for your reaction. You blush as well, moving your food around.

“Are you asking me out Miya?”

“I liked babe better.” He steps closer, he slides a strand of your hair behind your ear.

“If it means I get more mornin’s like this, then yea I am.” His fingers twirl around your hair.

“Take me out at least.” You sigh dramatically and he laughs, leaning closer.

“Let me kiss ya first.”

“I don’t think that’s how it works.”

“Says the one who just sang a whole love song f’me.” He grins, unmoving.

“Fine, just one.” You hold up your finger.

It was indeed not one.

Because Atsumu had been waiting for this moment and he wasn’t gonna let it go to waste.

[asaedw]

PINKLOCK Chapter 00/Prologue: You Belong Amongst The Best

Please read the author’s note and the characters' information at the end. (wc: 3153)

2025.

It was never a matter of fate. The position of this ball now, where it will land in the next second, and who will be the first to capture it. All of this must be a random selection of the universe. Or so I would have thought before PINKLOCK. Luck is one of the trillion factors that decide who gets to sit atop our corpses. Who gets to hold the treasure.

The ball flies across the field. I position myself, ready to be Queen. Maybe in one of the infinite universes that I exist in, there is a place where I can be chosen.

To the very right of my foot is a familiar warmth. I don’t get to process it or adjust to the nostalgic scent. The ball obeys her every command and falls to her foot like it's submitting. She read all of it. Every little trajectory, every twirl of the ball, and position of the players that I managed to analyze in these ninety minutes, she knew all of it before me. Her eyes darken as we meet once more, years later.

“Didn’t I tell you? You’re worth nothing here.” I want to deny, to reject like I've always done. Now she runs toward the goal after stealing my crown for the hundredth time while I'm frozen in shock. I became too arrogant. I thought I had evolved. Grown. But she always manages to prove me wrong.

And now, it’s my turn to do that.

November 18, 2018.

I wanted to go home while I was already in it. I reminisced about the times when I had a companion. My other half, who one day changed. It was an exhausting day for me. Waking up early to practice because I didn’t want my parents to know. It’s not like they didn’t know that I was playing soccer. They simply didn’t like it when I did. I hadn’t realized this when I was still younger, but now I do. I was meant to be a vessel for their dreams. So I left for the nearby field in the town.

They’re validation was my first reason to play, but soon, it was gone. The spark of excitement I used to feel when I’d score a goal. It had vanished. As soon as my brother was born.

“We have hope.” They’d cry out in bliss at the sight of him. I was eleven, and I was abandoned. I felt worthless.

I continued to play, however. It felt like the only reason I wasn’t a nobody yet was because I had some skill in the game. I would avoid letting them know, still. They didn’t like it when I had even a glimmer of faith in myself.

“You should focus on studying, he’ll be our champion.”

I had to prove myself to them.

The big game was the next day. Since we had moved to Japan when I was ten, I’d been playing here alone ever since. I had Kieymi at one point. She would reassure me, support me. I got too attached, perhaps. One random day, she changed. She grew hateful and even vengeful of me. I never shed a tear at the people who’d bully me. Not even many for the harsh words I’d hear at home. But a part of me died the day she became his way. We were soulmates. Now she’s a faint memory.

Now I stood there in the empty field from dusk till dawn, hearing an echoing cheer and wishing it were real. I would be playing against her the next day, and just the thought of it sent my heart dropping to my stomach. Kick after kick, I would score goals from different ranges and different angles. I practiced unique trajectories, imagining her begging face looking up at me from below. I wanted to crush her. Destroy her. Like she’d done to me.

Maybe that’s what got me to continue playing. The reminder that she’s better than me at something I began four years before her.

As I was panting from exhaustion and envy, I noticed a dark figure somewhere in the corner of the field. It was a woman’s body. She observed me closely. It wasn’t light enough to read her expression. But she looked almost malicious. I approached, and now I realize it could have been stupid of me to do so. She was harmless, however. She handed me a letter quietly and watched me take it. The now rising sun shed light on her glistening eyes.

“My name is Teieri Anri. My dream is to—“I wasn’t willing to hear a speech, so I turned around and hurried home to open the letter. I had a feeling I should keep it a secret, whatever it was. I felt that this ‘Anri Teieri’ was a genuine person, and she radiated the trust and faith I sometimes wished my parents did in me.

Things didn’t go as planned. They never do. My brother was four years old. He didn’t know any better, but I still almost resent him for that day. I was busy helping my mother with chores. Aman could walk at the time, like many four-year-olds. He saw the letter I had foolishly placed in his reach, which he brought out of my room, my comfort, and into what almost always feels like a battlefield.

“Asa, do you want to explain yourself?” My father stood, his arms to his side. He questioned why I had accepted such a letter. They never forced me to stop, but they disliked the idea of me playing professionally. Accepting a letter that was inviting me to play with real players was a sin in their eyes. My mother soon joined and began her rant. Both of their shouts were in a duet as they spat mild threats at me.  My ears rang from the noise.

“Shut up!” I yelled, and then I regretted it. Silence filled the room for a brief moment. Each second felt like an escalation towards an impending doom. I trembled, wondering about the consequences of my outburst. Then, with a sharp pull, the letter ripped apart in my father's hand. I swore I felt my heart rip in sync. The two pieces fell onto the floor.

“You will never play Soccer again. It was never for you.” With that, he turned to leave, my mother clicked her tongue. I remember falling to my knees, picking the two pieces up with trembling hands. She left the dining room, where the scene took place. I wondered why the neighbors weren’t outside our house after the noise and looked at the large window. Kieymi stood there, watching closely. I couldn't read her expression. The vulnerability lay in me because I was naked. She saw through me. She fled soon after a brief eye contact.

In that moment, I knew she’d gotten the letter too.

I clenched my fists, gagging at the thought. She left an imprint of her gorgeous fucking almonds for eyes, her expression so stoic it angered me to my core. I locked myself in my room. Planning to isolate myself permanently. This big stage was for Kieymi. Not a loser like me, I thought. I fell to the floor, my head bent like I was praying to some God for the same blessings he’d showered on her. After a good thirty seconds of choking myself till my face went blue, I ran around my room searching for tape. The letter looked fucked taped together. But I’d made up my mind. Obsession always beats talent.

I was going to go to this ‘Pinklock’ and nobody was going to stop me.

Was it an escape? Was it a dream? I don’t know. When I get there, I want to see her again. And I want to shatter every piece of hope or desire that she’s ever had in the palm of my hand. Maybe… it was revenge.

The next morning came quickly. I didn’t get much sleep, like usual. I had packed all of my essentials, including the now pathetic but signed letter the night before. The night that changed everything. I carried my stuffed schoolbag to the window, from where I climbed out. It wasn’t too high to jump, but my legs still needed a little work. My father probably thought it was another day of school. But little did they know, I was gone for good. I did steal a little cash and some food from the fridge.

I ditched the ‘big game’. My priority was now elsewhere. And I knew that Kiyemi was also not about to appear in today’s match either. There was a given time on the letter, which said that if you failed to show up within, you wouldn’t be accepted. Something about ‘lock off.’ It piqued my interest, and I knew I had to explore it. Today, I feel it was the best decision I could have made at the time. It was a catalyst for my career.

My heart raced as I got into the taxi.  I felt that I was doing something so wrong. So shameful. But I hushed the angry voices with music. Soon, I was outside a tall building. It was closed, as expected. The time on the letter says 1:00 p.m., and I was there at three in the morning. I waited outside, trying to get some rest on the bench. I fell asleep soon, in fear that I’d wake up dead. There was no turning back now.

“Asa! Asa-chan!” An annoying voice woke me up. The blinding sun was needles in my eyes despite the clouds following up behind. I rubbed my eyes. A light brown-haired girl stood before me, holding my belongings.

“Who the hell are you?” I rose from the hard bench.

“I watched you play in the sports day this year. Also, be a little more polite, would ya’?” Her voice was bratty yet sweet, matching the honey of her hair.

I finally grabbed the bag from her hand.

“It’s about to close, let's hurry.” She dragged me into the building with an arm. “I knew you wouldn’t show up to today's game.”

“I doubt we know each other.” My response was bland. I wasn’t aiming to make new friends.

“Yonago Kita High, right?” I wondered why this person was so excited to see me. “Ah- my name is Hoshino Tori.”

The gigantic doors behind us shut automatically, and I noticed many of us flinch. I looked around. It was an auditorium full of female players. I noticed a brown girl dressed in forest hues, and a young idol with cotton candy for hair. Then I even noticed two dark skinned women standing side by side. Some stares were intense, some were playful. I was dizzy from the earlier sun and now, the mixture of a hundred fragrances in the room.

Then… I saw Kiyemi. I wanted to hide. After what she’d seen last night, I can only expect that she’ll have a lot to tease me for. Her pin-straight, ash-brown hime cut gracefully blew by her sides as she approached me.

“What do you want?” I began. She ran a finger through my bangs, correcting my messy hair. My eye twitched. How could you be so composed? So… okay with yourself and so confident before me despite all you’ve done to me?

“What are you doing here?” she asked, her eyes skimming my features. Her voice was bland, like her expression. She looked as if trying to decode what had changed in me.

“I’m a fucking soccer player, what do you think I’m doing here?”

“Is that so?” Her voice was cold. Nothing like the warmth that once uplifted me. I didn’t grace her with a response.

Tori watched the scene unfold, stepping in. She was blissfully unaware of our past connections. “You wanna be an asshole? Go do it somewhere else, bitch.” She spat out at Kiyemi. She chuckled in response and fled, leaving a pat on my shoulder. I was a bit shocked at the pretty lady spitting such venomous words. But I was okay with it. I traced the place on my shoulder where Kiyemi had just done a moment ago, but then quickly stopped myself.

Then, the lights went out. A lanky man with a jet black bowl cut became prominent on the stage, the blinding spotlight fixated on him. We looked at him curiously. A bunch of gossips were heard before he began to speak.

“And test, test, test. Congratulations and welcome, diamonds in the rough. You are the 300 18 and under strikers who have been chosen due to my arbitrary and biased decision making. And I am Jinpachi Ego, the man who was hired to ensure Japan’s future victory at the World Cup.”

We looked at him like he was insane... Which was our first impression of him, anyway. Hired? By whom and where did the World Cup come from? He continued to speak.

“It’s simple, really. In order to outstrip the rest of the world, Japanese soccer requires just one thing. And that is the birth of a revolutionary striker. I’ll be performing an experiment to turn one of you 300 into the single best striker in the world.” The girls looked around, as if the man on the stage had just grown another head. Did he just say… experiment? We were all equally confused and even a little unsettled by the psychopathic man in front of us.

“Um… sir?” the brown girl in the crowd raised a shy hand, “By ‘experiment’, you mean real training, right? How is your training better than other training camps and team practices? And… who’s paying you?” Good questions, I thought. The man before us now was a freak, after all.

He scratched his bowl cut, “Paying me? Is that all you heard? The JFU will be paying me once a Japanese team wins the World Cup.” He shakes a hand, that money didn’t matter to him, “, and as for what makes my training more reliable than the coaches you’ve been playing with for so long... Let's just say, uh, everything. You will all play a survival style of soccer. Here, it's not just some game, but a battlefield. Your coaches focus only on the physical aspects of the game, whereas your psychology and play style are what truly create your games. I will put you through psychological warfare and break you down mentally. This will restructure you for better playing. Here at Pinklock, you will train in a hyper-modern facility with high-tech and robotic analysis, which you can find nowhere else in this country. Lastly and most importantly, your next games will not depend on your teammates or the power of friendship. But on your EGO. “

We were all suspicious of the man. And yet, we were all intrigued. He continued to speak for three to four minutes about some ‘EGO’ that we lacked. I remember him expressing some pity for the country with statements like, “Is the future of Japan really in your hands?” he looked down at us like we were trash.

“What exactly do you mean by EGO?” a girl with striped hair, who was twirling it around her finger, raised a question, “and how is it a reliable method of securing the World Cup?”

“Hm?” the man was puzzled, he scratched his bowl cut for the hundredth time. “Tell me, why is Japanese soccer still not worthy of a win? No, let me ask you this: What is soccer? Is it about the eleven players working together? The bonds you form? Self-sacrifice? Fighting for your teammates? That kind of thinking is why this country's game has remained weak. I’ll tell you the right answer: soccer is about one thing.” He paused for a brief second, which left us all anticipating his next words: “Scoring more goals than your opponent does.” He shouts out in a frantic scream, which causes us to flinch, his body bending in all sorts of weird ways. We all gasped at the sight of the freak show he was putting on.

I couldn’t help but wonder where this man picked up his ideologies from. And just why did they make so much sense? If all teammates are trying to better each other instead of focusing on creating their own goals, they’ll have minimal and luck-based goals depending on the positioning of players. But if all eleven were self-absorbed ‘egoists’ like this guy wants us to be, we’d create many and potentially legendary goals.

The man then quoted Cristiano Ronaldo, Eric Cantona, and Pele. About their selfishness. I didn’t want to believe him. He was right, but I didn’t want to. It was the opposite of everything I’d ever been taught. It was undeniable. Soccer, at its very core, was about being the one who scores the most goals. Even your teammates are competition.

“You can’t possibly become the best striker unless you’re the biggest egoist. Which is why you’re all here. So I can create a player who has what it takes. Someone to climb on top of 299 corpses. A solitary hero...” he continued. Everyone looked at each other. Some were left with their mouth agape, some frowning.

I felt a sense of disturbing belonging.

Maybe that one thing that put Kiyemi in front of me was this ‘ego’, I thought. Even if she didn’t know or put a label on it yet. Just maybe, if I could achieve something supernatural like she did on that day, I’d be able to demolish her. Surpass her. And that’s why—my foot, without my permission, stepped closer to the stage. The curtains behind him now were raised, and beyond a blinding white, I could not see. It was an unspoken invitation by the madman before us, asking to join him in his fantasies. he smiled like a maniac while he spurted what sounded like idiocy continuously. No one dared to step forward. Yet, I gravitated toward him.

“So what you're saying is...” A familiar voice claws at my nerves. “…Is that only one of us survives at the end?”

I turned to face her once more. Her almonds were now full of anticipation and the same anxiety that was coursing through my veins. I wanted to say nothing and everything to her at the same time. But I only said one, plain warning. I spoke, one last time, yet I knew a hundred more conversations were to come. I ran toward the man, like he was a savior. He did notice me, closest to the gates of what looked like heaven. What could be hell. His eyes widened as he watched me pace towards him, and all I hoped was that what she heard me say last was enough. Enough for her.  

“There can't be two bests now, can there... Kiyemi?”

Authors note and characters:-

Pinklock is situated in Japan hence, all characters speak in Japanese but writen in English unless stated otherwise. The first selection will be written in past tense as it falls all the way back to November 18, 2018. It is intended that Bluelock and Pinklock occur in the same universe because after the third selection, Pinklock characters will play against the boys team. The winning team will then play against Japan’s U20. Some characters will be eliminated and some will appear later. You must trust the process. One chapter will be written per month because I am also undergoing finals as I write this. All writing done here is solely by me alone. OCs and their backstory is written by tagged people mostly. Please do not translate, plagiarize or share my work without my permission. All chapters are more that 2k and less that 5k words. You may draw a scene or character but only after permission js granted which you may do in message or ask. Background characters are untagged as they will not have much of a role. I request that all people’s who sent a character tagged below send me their discord username (preferrably in tthe cmnts) so that we may have an open discussion for suggestions and feedback. If you want to add Characters submitted by readers so forth are tagged at the end. I would greatly appreciate if the OCs tagged in this series could reblog my post because that support would motivate me to write further!

🚬 I'm sorry it took a minute, girls, and also I couldn't fit all characters into chapter zero, but don't you guys worry because they will be mentioned when it is your characters' team's turn to play against Asa's. I will try my best to write them all justly and let all of them shine. Also, someone also asked about elimination. if I plan to eliminate a character, I will discuss it with you and justify. I won't do it out of the blue, I love your ocs lol. please enjoy my babes and tell me who's your fav so far.

Find the characters and their rightful owners in my PINKLOCK CHARACTERS post.

@kiyy0mei , @innvmorati , @minlahzz , @feliwnni , @alexiaray , @kacchans-waifu , @jwmiooa , @pinkymangacaps , @cafem3wcuryy , @prettyluvvs-ichi , @plutoplue , @serial-gooner-lain , @hygienic-law , @dollyrins , @onlykaiiisagiz , @t3chn0chan ,

[sapphicdalliances]

So I agree with this up to a point – I've seen a lot of people in the tags say "the miscommunication was on both sides", and I do feel that in the specific case of the golden core transfer and the ways in which that affected their relationship, that was definitely not a mutual miscommunication, but very simply a lie, a deliberate deception on WWX's part.

It's completely true that JC is very honest and forthcoming when it comes to information, his thoughts, his circumstances, etc, and all of that is usually in hopes of helping someone close to him (be that his siblings or the rest of Yunmeng Jiang). He's also able to navigate the "Yanli's feelings toward Zixuan" minefield with reasonable efficacy, taking the time to hear Yanli's thoughts and such. It's a very stark contrast to WWX who has buried every negative feeling he's ever had 6 feet in the ground, deflects most questions he doesn't want to answer and just fully ignores the rest, bulldozes through a bunch of his loved ones' opinions and boundaries in his attempts to protect them, and even deceives himself on a number of LWJ-related issues.

But I think there is still something JC isn't very successful at communicating to WWX, and that's his affection. This is, predictably, the same with Mme Yu as others in the comments have brought up, though her situation is much more exaggerated: she communicates her thoughts and opinions quite clearly, but declines to do the same with her sentiments. She actually loved her children and her husband, but refused to express this until her dying breath – I think many can probably relate who has a parent like this: of course she loves her children, so why should she waste breath on something everyone knows when she could be loudly explaining how they can better themselves in society for the 2,408th time. (Chinese culture itself is quite actions-forward; some will say that providing for her children and educating them is in itself a clear sign of love! But like girl come on.)

Similarly, JC doesn't like to speak his love aloud, but shows it in his actions. (This is why in the books, where his actions can be easily missed in the narration, it's easy to interpret him as being cold and loveless.) Instead of "I love you Jin Ling", it's "tell me who made you cry!" and "don't get hurt or I'll break your legs!" and getting hostaged to protect him. Instead of "WWX you're my brother and I love you (but you are a great big bag of dicks)" it's running for a week straight through enemy territory, throwing himself between his brother and Zidian, throwing himself to the Wens to spare WWX, asking WWX to help name the baby, keeping Chenqing in perfect playing condition in a pocket next to his heart for 13 years. He doesn't hide his affection or go full "it's not because I care about you or anything, sh-shagua!" mode, but verbally, he always approaches WWX business-end first. Even at the Guanyin temple, he wasn't quite able to properly express that he missed WWX and wanted him to come home as his brother; he had to couch it in the language of fealty.

Would showing his affections more clearly have changed anything? Hard to say. WWX was in just about the worst mental state you can imagine a guy being in for several years consecutively, and there were many things he could not or would not hear. He had spoken JC's particular love language fluently for years, but I would hazard a guess that the unavoidable bitterness and resentment from that missing core may have turned his eyes away from the gestures that came in during the Burial Mounds era. So maybe it wouldn't have really made any difference.

But in my opinion, even by the time of the siege, JC still loved him. And I think WWX probably died the first time not believing that at all.

Lotta takes that are like "Jiang Cheng didn't change his behaviour at all in 13 years, that proves that he doesn't want to grow as a person" and it's like, sorry but why would he change his behaviour when the information that would recontextualise Wei Wuxian's actions and thus lead him to rethink his own reactions was deliberately kept hidden from him? From his perspective, his brother broke all his promises for no goddamn reason, picked a different family over him, lost control of the evil energy he swore he could control, and in doing so caused such a catastrophe that both of Jin Ling's parents were killed. We know that there's more to that story, but he doesn't, and it would be impossible for him to find out on his own because again, everyone involved was lying to him and hiding the relevant information on purpose.

He's told about the golden core transfer like three hours before the book ends, and frankly processes it faster than most people could reasonably be expected to after 13 years of grief and loneliness! "He had chances to improve his behaviour and didn't" HE LITERALLY DIDN'T HAVE ANY CHANCES BECAUSE WWX LIED TO HIM!! His behaviour was completely justified from his perspective and when his perspective is changed, and he realises that what he did was wrong, he's like, SUPER upset about it!

[astrolook]

💬🌟 Talking Planets: How Your Synastry Speaks Volumes 🗣️💞

Note: These are all based on my personal observations and patterns I’ve noticed over the years. Western astrology based. Let me know in the comments if any of this hits home for you! And feel free to leave what doesn’t resonate.

Synastry placements in the 8th or 12th are my least favorite. First off, the 8th house is not just about sex, and honestly, it’s overrated. The 8th house is about what the house person can offer like sex, resources, finances, or all of it. Not just sex. I don't agree with astrologers who's like "Mars/Venus/Sun in 8th house overlay?, Wow! It's intense, karmic bond...bla..bla..bla" or some $#!T.

Most 8th house synastry I’ve seen is either one-sided, purely sexual, or has that gold digger vibe. The planet person usually wants something from the house person.

12th house overlays are heavily one-sided too. If it’s mutual, kind of like the 8th house, it can get toxic fast. If I’m really looking for intimacy, I’d check the 2nd,4th, 5th, or 7th house overlays.

8th and 12th house placements, in both synastry and composite, usually show up in hot, chaotic relationships that burn out pretty soon. These overlays are also common in gold digger setups, sugar mommy/daddy situations, "convenience" relationships, marrying for money and all that. Both 8th and 12th is not SOULMATE BOND.

Now with the aspects, personally, I don’t consider synastry aspects with more than a 3° orb. It’s just not as effective, at least from what I’ve seen over the years. Anything under 3° really shows up in real life, good or bad.

Also, conjunctions are seriously overrated when it comes to relationships, yes but it also point to no growth and stuck in the same place but when it comes to family members, friendships, etc conjunctions are great aspects to have and trines too. But what I’ve noticed is, people who had a lot of trines and squares in their synastry ended up having relationships or marriages that were not only successful, but also exciting, balanced, and helped both people grow individually. Like real soul growth.

And let’s be clear, just because you have something like Venus square Ascendant in synastry doesn’t mean the other person finds you unattractive or ugly. People always try to oversimplify these things.

Every aspect, overlay, or placement whether it’s in synastry, composite, or natal has multiple interpretations. It might resonate, or it might not. But there are so many layers. Am seeing often that Venus square ASC interpreted as Venus finding the ASC ugly / unattractive or aren't their type. Nope, there's more to that.

Like, Venus square Ascendant could mean:

Venus finds you attractive, but your style or habits are a bit off to them but they’re still into you anyway.

They’re genuinely not attracted to you, and that’s just what it is and it's the most common interpretation I have seen out there..

Venus is like, “You’re not even my type, but I don’t know why I’m into you... but here I am.”

Venus feels insecure around you, thinks you’re out of their league and doesn't know how to approach you and fear of rejection too..

Venus is intrigued because you’re totally different from the people they’ve dated before.

Venus finds you exotic or intimidating maybe you’re from a different background, or just someone they never imagined being into, but they are. Like a forbidden, unreachable kind of thing.

Do you see the difference now? It’s never just one meaning. Astrology is like peeling an onion. The more you peel the deeper you get.

Signs work in a way that’s way more straightforward than people think. If you’re a Gemini Moon, you’re gonna naturally vibe with other Gemini Moons, Suns, Venuses, or Mars placements, no matter where they fall in the chart. It just clicks.

Take my earlier example about Venus square Ascendant and if Venus is in the 8th house in Gemini squaring your Ascendant in Virgo, that can actually get along pretty well. Venus might see the Ascendant as a sexy librarian they’d wanna go out with and Venus be like "I kinda feel insecured but damn she/he is sexy, would they even look at me?". Totally different from Venus in the 8th house in Capricorn squaring an Ascendant in Aries. In that case, Venus in Capricorn would find the Aries Ascendant super exotic and alluring, but also probably a bit intimidating. It’s not as comfortably aligned as the Gemini example as it’s more of an intense, magnetic attraction. Venus is like, “I can’t explain it, but I’m drawn to you.”

So, signs matter just as much as the placements. The vibe changes completely depending on the sign involved. This is how I read synastry.

Aspects don't exist in a vacuum.

When reading a synastry overlay or aspect, even in natal, we have to look at where the planet is actually falling. For example, going back to my earlier point about Venus square Ascendant, the surface-level aspect alone doesn’t tell the full story. Venus square Asc in general is one thing, but Venus in the 8th house squaring Asc in Libra is a completely different vibe than Venus in the 8th squaring Asc in Capricorn.

That placement matters.

When I’m reading synastry, composite, or natal charts, I always look at where the planets are and what house they’re in when I’m reading aspects. Like, instead of just saying “your Venus conjunct their Saturn,” I look at where that conjunction is happening. Because Venus conjunct Saturn in the 1st, 2nd, 5th or 11th house is not the same as Venus conjunct Saturn in the 8th or 12th.

If it’s happening in the 8th or 12th… yeah, no thanks. See you next lifetime. But if it’s in houses like the 1st, 2nd, 5th, 7th or 11th or something with more grounding or shared values, there’s actually potential there.

It’s not just what aspect you have, it’s where it lands. That’s what really gives the context.

Also, reading synastry like “Sun in 1st house overlay” isn’t enough. That’s just the general version and it’s honestly basic like a default theme on your phone. I’ve already made posts on Moon and Sun house overlays, but if you really want to understand how it actually plays out in your chart, you have to look deeper.

Like, instead of just saying “your Sun is in their 1st house,” it should be “your Sun in 1st house Gemini falls on their 9th house Gemini.” That’s how I read synastry. That’s when the picture becomes clear. You’ll actually start to see what’s going on between two people, instead of guessing based on default interpretations.

It makes interpreting way easier too. Those general meanings might or might not resonate, but when you look at both people's chart placements like that, it hits. It’ll either confirm things or call you or your partner out on stuff that’s hidden or not being talked about. That’s the kind of synastry reading that actually tells the truth.

Also, if there are too many Moon aspects or Venus aspects to the partner, but the other person doesn’t have as many Venus/Moon aspects back to yours, it could be a sign of unrequited love or just a crush that’s not going to really develop into something deeper. It’s a one-sided vibe, and those rarely turn into anything long-term or fulfilling.

Similarly, if there are a lot of Sun aspects to the other person’s chart, it means the Sun person’s identity is probably way too tied to the other person’s validation. Over time, this can lead to some unhealthy dynamics where the Sun person becomes codependent, constantly needing the other person’s approval to feel good about themselves. It’s all about balance, otherwise it’s a recipe for emotional burnout and codependent behavior.

So, that’s all for today, go away now! ✌️😎🌙

Wanna go deeper into the layers of your placements? DM me for a complete astrology reading or a 5 year/8 year marriage report or synastry reading🌙💬 and check out my pinned post for pricing + details 💫💸

Let’s decode your cosmic chaos together ⭐

[timeslipcamp]

towa is a character that i didn't really look too closely at until i read an episode with him in it. he was funny and cute and honestly loved how they write him, LOVE a character with flaws. and then we get on that dock and he can speak and he asks if we believe in soulmates--

i was now smitten with towa.

but there's something else that's made me so interested in towa from the very beginning with the way his stigma seems to work so different from everyone else's, and it's been bugging me from the beginning.

i don't think towa is a ghoul

spoilers through episode 12

it sounds like a crack theory, i know. i'm aware. i said it to my friend and she replied, "then why would he be here?" and you know what? fair question! but we've seen plenty of anomalies so far, and a couple that are very human like. you know what else we've seen? a god that's lost its power.

now i'm not saying towa is a god. i'm also not not saying that. i'm just saying that ever since we first saw him, towa's been extremely different from the other ghouls.

this theory is all guesses. i don't have a lot of evidence other than vibes and screenshots. i guess that's how all of my theories are, but this one has even less evidence than the others given how little we know about the ghouls powers and pacts and how they affect a person when they make a pact.

my main arguments for towa not being a ghoul are his characteristics, his stigma, and his behaviors. parts of each of these set him completely apart from the other ghouls, enough so that it makes me suspicious that he's not actually a ghoul, but potentially some sort of spirit.

lesskettit

towa's characteristics set him apart enough alone. like, we could literally just have this theory based on his behavior and it'd be like yeah, he's weird, he's not like them. thankfully--or unthankfully if you don't want to read a 2k essay on him--i have more than just that. but allow me to take you back to the first jabberwock episode when we meet towa in person for the first time. the first things we see are him striking something with lightning and eating a dandelion. also!

interesting shape for his bubble wand to be in. unlike our ring (the sage's ring or whatever) this one does that the six pointed star often depicted in solomon's seal. it is, however, a shape that's used in multiple places with multiple meanings. but. still weird.

towa cannot speak in sunlight. his voicelines on the homescreen are only during the night, and in game, 9 times out of 10, he is only speaking to us when the sun has set. however, in the episode with the cat anomaly (funniest anomaly ever btw i was cackling every time that thing was on screen) he's able to speak when he's in the cat's shadow. this is the first time i considered it being linked to sunlight and not just time of day. however, to argue against my own point, when he was in the caves and zenji approached him, he couldn't speak. so maybe the writers just forgot it wasn't night when he spoke from under the cat. or, he just didn't want to talk to zenji. who knows.

another characteristic: his eyes. LOVE the fucking rectangular pupils. always a fun character choice. i think he's goat coded, but goat are not the only ones who can have rectangular pupils:

deer is another fun idea, considering all the flowers he's eating, and his eyes looked a LOT like the kraken's in the first jabberwock ep, but i'm still going with either deer or goat, and i'll get into that in a bit.

part number two! his stigma!

what the fuck is going on with his stigma!

maybe it's because i'm autistic but the rules for the stigmas were very clearly laid out for us early on: you received a stigma from the demon you made a pact with, it requires a trigger word to use, and we can enhance it with our super special ring.

towa follows literally none of these rules.

he's never had to say a trigger word before using his abilities (weather, controlling anomalies, jumping insane distances...), he seems to have more than one stigma if so (plus a weird consequence of losing speech in the sun) and he's never taken advantage of us making his powers stronger when we touch. disclaimer because it's necessary, the staff said they're still researching ghouls and they don't know everything yet, blah blah blah. STILL. it's mainly the stigma rules that made me think, "oh, these don't apply to him because he's not a ghoul." and ever since i stopped thinking of him as a ghoul, his place in the story has made a lot more sense.

lastly, his behaviors.

he's VERY into flowers. that doesn't make him any different, nor does him giving nicknames to the other ghouls make him different, but it's clear that the flowers have a very significant meaning to him--and they're also a very tasty snack. i love that the wiki points out that he can eat them "without digestive issues". like, hell yeah. no tummy problems. you go girl

the flower symbolism feels significant for the fact that i think it has something to do with what he actually is, and it's the flowers that are making me lean toward some sort of nature spirit. i'll add his nicknames for people into my flower meanings post for their warding cards to keep all the flower stuff together. or make a post on its own. either way. yum yum

another characteristic of his that strikes me as different is his attitude. i've seen people call it childish and black and white, and those are both very good ways to put it, but it still feels more...persistent? to me? like he has his opinions and how he thinks things should be done and he will not waver, whether it's his attitude towards ren or his ideas on how to gather up animals. it's not quite childish to me, but i do think this also plays into the fact that he's not a ghoul. while taiga also follows wild impulses and kaito can be incredibly stubborn, towa's feels different. all of the ghouls were people who were human before their pact, obviously lived lives, and now they're here on campus to help further the institute's research. (yet again begging for any info regarding how any of them made their pacts, PLEASE!) towa doesn't feel like he came from a background in society as we know it, at least.

(another crack theory i had was he was some sort of creature who made a pact and asked to become human. wouldn't that be crazy?)

towa's behaviors, especially given that this is a piece of media where werewolves are real and matches can make you forget things, give me the vibe that he was something who was plucked from where he was living a certain way and put into this new life and expected to adapt. haru seems to be the one helping him adapt, and towa looooves haru. that's his dude for sure. haven't quite figured out if it's in a romantic way or in a "he's mine" kind of possessive way, but i don't think that really matters to towa.

it might matter to haru, though. him making the joke about someone back home "getting jealous" was funny as hell.

so, with all of those facts constantly running around my head, i have come to the conclusion that i don't think towa is a ghoul. what he is, exactly, i'm not sure yet, but i have a couple ideas. the main problem is i don't know what all is like, an option. they could tell us he's a demon pretending to be a human in like three chapters and that would change like, 85% of my belief system around this game. so i'm making an educated guess and staying vague. always a good option to be vague.

given towa's nature symbolism, issues with sunlight, and general behaviors, i'm proposing that towa is some sort of nature spirit.

in greek mythology, one of the bigger nature gods (and there's several theories that this god carried over from some sumerian and even more ancient religions) was a god called pan. he was said to be father of the satyrs and also depicted rather goat-like himself in most of the medias he was depicted in. along with the satyrs, pan was god of the flock, nature, fertility, and the wild. a lot of his tales are a little graphic in nature. in the same vein tales of zeus are, so heads up if you look into them. his main representation in myths was the wildness of spirit and of nature and then, at the very end of the greeks rule over the west, it was said that pan is dead.

that itself is a super big topic of debate in history. supposedly, one person was calling to another that "pan is dead." that itself can be interpreted in a few different ways. one interpretation was that it meant the pantheon was dead: christianity had just hit its huge uptick in followers and the greek society was collapsing, so perhaps it meant the death of the pantheon and the rise of a monotheistic religion. the other popular interpretation, especially in fiction, was that pan is the only god who died/disappeared. the main reason for this is that the god of nature is dying/disappearing as humans begin to spread further into the world with their technology. we see this represented over and over in media (the kaijus in japanese stories like godzilla, ubtao in dungeons and dragons disappearing, the movie ferngully, etc). a popular interpretation of this story was in percy jackson, where we see many satyrs go on a lifelong quest to go find the god pan.

given how many other references we have to greek mythology, i think towa is going to be associated with pan. he's got the goat eyes (and is called goat-like by haru in a home screen line,) has capricious in his bio (constellation of capricorn (a goat), root word capro comes from goat with a Latin association of frisking or turning suddenly), is an aries (goat), has a weird control over animals and other anomalies, and is in LOVE with love. also, connected to the weird love tree only we can see.

another interesting tidbit to point out, we see towa in the caves pretty often. pan's altars were almost always found in caves and out in nature. also hold on

this is driving me insane what do these numbers mean towa. towa what do they mean.

this is the only one that seems vaguely relevant. there used to be ten houses and then three are now defunct. TOWA WHAT DO THESE NUMBERS MEAN WHAT ARE YOU KEEPING TRACK OF

anyways those are my main arguments for towa being a non-ghoul. like i said, i don't really think he's the god pan. most likely, he's a nature spirit who now looks like a human. also, i've gotten this weird feeling that towa may have initially been in dionysia. dionysus as a god also represented the wilder side of things as i said in my defunct houses post, and he was also associated with the satyrs. it was said (in myth) that the satyrs regularly participated in his wild feasts. soooooo possible connection? who knows

towa you vex me and plague me and i cannot stop thinking about what you are. mwah

asks and dms always open!

[areyoufuckingcrazy]

Hi! I was wondering if you could do a TBB x Fem!Reader +any other clones of your choice, where they keep using pet names in mandoa like cyar'ika, mesh'la, and maybe even riduur?(because they might’ve gotten accidentally married? Love those tropes)

but the reader has no idea what they mean and that they’re pet names or that the batch likes her. Eventually she finds out of course and a bunch of stuttering cute confessions?

Your writing is so amazing and i literally can’t get enough of it! Xx

“Say It Again?”

TBB x Fem!Reader

You had gotten used to the way clones talked — the gruffness, the slang, the camaraderie. But ever since you’d been working more closely with Clone Force 99, you’d noticed something… different.

They used weird words around you. Words you didn’t hear other troopers saying.

Hunter always greeted you with a gentle “Cyar’ika,” accompanied by that intense little half-smile of his.

Wrecker would beam and shout, “Mesh’la! You came!” every time you entered a room — like you were some goddess descending from the stars.

Crosshair, as always, was smug and cool, throwing in a soft “Riduur…” under his breath when he thought you weren’t listening, though you never figured out what it meant. He often smirked when you looked confused, and somehow that made it worse.

Even Tech, who rarely used nicknames at all, had let slip a casual “You’re quite remarkable, mesh’la,” when you helped him debug his datapad. He didn’t look up, but you felt the heat in his voice.

And Echo? Sweet, dependable Echo — he was the least subtle of them all.

“You alright, cyar’ika?”

“You look tired, cyar’ika.”

“Get some rest, cyar’ika.”

You were starting to think “Cyar’ika” meant your actual name.

But something was off. The others never used those words with each other. Only with you.

So, naturally, you asked Rex.

And Rex choked on his caf.

“You—what did Crosshair call you?” he coughed, wiping his chin.

You repeated it: “Rid…uur? I think? I dunno. He said it real low.”

Rex gave you the slowest blink you’d ever seen and then rubbed the bridge of his nose.

“Riduur means… spouse. As in… wife. It’s what you call your partner.”

You froze. “What?!”

“And cyar’ika?” he continued, amused. “Sweetheart. Mesh’la is ‘beautiful.’ They’re… Mando’a pet names. Very affectionate.”

The blushing.

The flashbacks.

All those words… those looks… Tech calling you remarkable like it was a scientific fact, Crosshair smirking like he had secrets, Echo’s voice dropping a full octave every time he said cyar’ika…

You marched straight into the Havoc Marauder like a woman on a mission — and promptly forgot how to speak when all five of them looked up at you.

“…You okay, mesh’la?” Hunter asked gently.

You blinked. Your voice cracked. “…You’ve been calling me sweetheart?”

The room went dead silent.

Echo dropped his ration bar.

Wrecker panicked. “Wait—you didn’t know?”

Crosshair chuckled and leaned against the wall, arms crossed. “Told you she didn’t know.”

Tech frowned at him. “Statistically, the odds of her knowing were—”

“You called me your wife,” you said, pointing at Crosshair like he’d committed a war crime.

He shrugged. “Didn’t hear you complain.”

You stammered something completely unintelligible, covering your face with both hands, and Wrecker let out the loudest, happiest laugh you’d ever heard. “So… does that mean you like us back?”

You peeked through your fingers. “…Us?”

Hunter stepped forward slowly, rubbing the back of his neck. “We all… kinda do. Like you. A lot.”

You were red. Like, fruit-on-Ryloth red. “You’re telling me five elite clones have been flirting with me in another language this whole time?!”

“…Yes,” they all mumbled at once.

Crosshair grinned like he’d won a bet. “So… Riduur?”

“Riduur?” Crosshair repeated, lifting a brow like it was nothing. Like he hadn’t just dropped a romantic thermal detonator right in front of everyone.

You stared at him. At all of them.

Hunter’s quiet guilt. Echo’s embarrassed fidgeting. Wrecker’s hopeful puppy-dog smile. Tech’s analytical interest. And Crosshair’s smug little smirk that you really wanted to slap off his face… or maybe kiss.

You swallowed. “I—I need a second.”

And then promptly turned on your heel and walked right back out of the Marauder.

⸻

You spent the rest of the day spiraling.

Sweetheart. Beautiful. Wife.

They’d been calling you those for weeks. Months, maybe. You were out here thinking it was some fun cultural expression or inside joke you weren’t in on—and it turns out you were the joke. The target. Of five clone commandos’… affection?

It didn’t feel like a joke, though. It felt sincere. Soft. Safe.

And scary.

Because you liked them. All of them. Differently, but genuinely. The thought of them caring about you—of whispering pet names they grew up hearing in the most intimate, personal ways—made your chest ache in a way you didn’t know how to handle.

⸻

The next day, you avoided them.

The next day, they let you.

The third day, Hunter found you in the mess hall, sat beside you without a word, and handed you a steaming mug of caf.

You looked at him.

He didn’t speak right away. Then: “We’re sorry. If we made you uncomfortable.”

“I’m not uncomfortable,” you blurted out. “I just… didn’t know how to react. I’m still trying to figure it out.”

Hunter nodded, eyes kind. “We can stop. The nicknames, I mean.”

You hesitated. “No. I don’t want you to stop.”

He smiled, just a little. “You sure?”

You nodded. “I think I like them. I just… I want to know what they mean now.”

⸻

So, one by one, the boys showed you.

Wrecker said “mesh’la” every time you helped him carry heavy crates, with a goofy grin that made your stomach flip.

Echo said “cyar’ika” after every quiet conversation, letting the word linger like a promise he wasn’t ready to say aloud yet.

Tech, precise as always, began to offer direct translations.

“You look stunning today, mesh’la—objectively, of course.”

Crosshair didn’t stop with “riduur.” He started calling you “cyar’ika” too—softly, in rare unguarded moments—and he never looked away when he said it. Like he meant it. Like he knew what it was doing to you.

And Hunter? Hunter started saying “ner cyar’ika.” My sweetheart.

⸻

It wasn’t instant.

But slowly, their voices stopped making you flustered—and started making you feel home.

You started saying their names softer. Started touching their arms when you passed. Started blushing less… and smiling more.

And one day, while standing beside Wrecker during maintenance, you reached up on your toes, kissed his cheek, and whispered, “Thanks, cyare.”

He blinked. His whole face lit up like a nova. “You said it back!”

Later, you caught Echo outside the ship. Nervous, swaying slightly on his heels. You pressed your hand into his and whispered, “You can keep calling me cyar’ika, you know.”

He looked down at you with wide eyes. “You really don’t mind?”

You shook your head. “I like it.”

And Tech, when you repeated “mesh’la” with a teasing little lilt, glanced at you and—just this once—forgot what he was doing.

Even Crosshair dropped his toothpick when you looked him dead in the eye and whispered: “You keep calling me your riduur. What does that make you, then?”

He blinked. Once. Then smiled. Really smiled. “Yours.”

⸻

By the time you curled up beside Hunter one quiet night, your head on his shoulder and his hand tracing slow circles on your back, he murmured “ner cyar’ika” and you didn’t freeze or stammer.

You just smiled.

Because now you knew.

And you finally, finally understood that you’d never been the joke.

You’d always been the reason they smiled.

[bright-hope-spot-19]

Yeah, Gaara got boring in Shippuden. It's always been a personal thought of mine that the reason we never get to see anything of his development process and it's all completely offscreen, is because Gaara was meant to be like..... the standard Naruto should aspire to. He's the paragon of what Naruto aims to be. For Naruto to look up to him and be reminded of what his end goal is. Because yeah, Gaara's change was too...... I don't know how best to put it into words. It just doesn't make any sense. He goes from an unstable, bloodthirsty child to a mature, respected, and collected leader in the span of less than 5 years. We're never told how any of that happened, either. We're just left to assume.

Another thing is just his practically nonexistent bond with his siblings. I've already mentioned it once before, and I'll say it again: it really makes no sense for them to be siblings when their bond sees practically no development? I imagine that maybe it also wouldn't have made sense for him to be the only son of the Kazekage put into a team with two random dudes. Also, because I assume if they weren't his sibs, Kishi probably wouldn't have had any issues killing both of them off in the chunin exams. Maybe he thought that by making them sibs, Gaara's change would be more poignant and emotional? But again, he never fucking does anything with them. Legit, we never see Gaara even thinking about them in canon. Sparing them a mere thought. Meanwhile, you have Kankuro and Temari getting 5 different panic attacks and risking their lives every time Gaara's hurt. From Gaara's side, there's 0 sibling development. It's very one-sided cause all the care comes from the elder ones, and he never reciprocates.

This is also just surprising because I'm pretty sure if I haven't missed anything, the main point of Gaara's character was to form bonds with those around him. Bonds he'd previously rejected cause he saw them all as useless, unnecessary, and he lived thinking they all existed to satisfy Shukaku's bloodlust. Despite all that, we only ever see him worry and care about Naruto. Why not have him start by bonding with his own sibs who literally live with him? In the Kage meeting arc, he literally has a line of dialogue affirming that "if it's Naruto they're talking about, he knows him very well" or smth. In the war arc, he has this grandiose speech to the alliance about protecting his friend. He freaks out when he sees Nart show up on the battlefield. But does he, through the entirety of the war, think bout his sibs and their well-being a single time? No, of course! Why would he do that! He never once stopped to even ponder whether Tem and Kank might still be alive or not. Naruto is all that matters to him! At one point, when the tailed beasts were gathered and Gaara was also given a moment to speak with Shukaku? He literally tells the beast he was glad to have been a jinchuriki cause it was thanks to that he got to meet Naruto. No regrets or mentions about how yeah, he met Nart. But he also had to ruin his siblings' childhoods in the process. Honestly, at this point, I don't even think Gaara cares that Tem and Kank had to suffer a lot for him and because of him. Honestly, if you asked him, I'm sure he'd be pretty fucking willing to drag his sibs through Hell itself, if it ensured Naruto's safety. That's not good development.

Kankuro and Temari were done dirty in all this. They give and give and never get anything back in return. Tbh, Kishi kinda tried developing a brotherly bond between the two boys? I'd definitely say that despite being underdeveloped, Kankuro at least saw some slight change and development in his bond with Gaara. But that was all flushed down the toilet cause why make Gaara care about anyone not named Naruto? Temari sees even less development with Gaara (as I've also said once before: she was just a peacekeeper. Once Gaara wasn't crazy anymore, she really wasn't needed). There's also barely a bond between Tem and Kank, even though these two practically raised each other. Kishimoto honestly, never cared about the sand sibs. Gaara got development completely centered around Naruto and nothing else cause he's ridiculously popular, and seeing him gush bout Nart, I suppose, made the yaoi fangirls happy. Temari's popular mainly because of Shikatema, and that's how Kishimoto saw her: another love interest that could potentially pop out another child for the Boruto sequel. Poor, unfortunate Kankuro, who's honestly the most appealing and interesting of the three, only existed to get some cool scenes every 100 chapters or so cause he's not as popular as Gaara, and not a love interest like Temari. A tragic existence, that one is.

Gaara was so boring in Pt 2. He should have stayed a murderous little psychopath. Instead of becoming emotionally stable he should have screeched at people whenever they tried to touch him and killed Deidara for fun

[keen-li]

All Aisle Ever Need | jjk

chapter: 1/ ?

summary: You decide to take a risk and sign up for a program where you marry a complete stranger. You’re surprisingly okay with the idea—excited, even—though the occasional nerves still creep in. This could either be the best or worst decision of your life. Still, the mystery of it all feels thrilling, and you've made peace with not knowing the man you’re about to marry. No matter who he is, you’re ready to go through with it.

But on your wedding day, as you walk down the aisle, something makes you squint. There’s something familiar about the man standing at the altar. And then it hits you… you know him. You've made promises to yourself before, so many of them broken. This won't be any different...shit.

pairing: Jungkook x fem reader.

story type: series.

genre: There's-something-i-don't-like-about-you to lovers, second chance au, slow burn, angst, fluff, smut.

rating: m. Mdni

wordcount: 8.2k+

warnings for chapter: troubled parental dynamics/figures. It's implied that they are both grown, Jungkook is older than reader(the age is subjective). cussing. found family. none really from here on.

A/n: though of this whilst watching MAFS. i've been in a burnout and this got me out of it?. please don't ask me if it's a happy ending story(i'm not saying it is or is not.) I just feel if you ask me that then you're not really interested in the story.

anyways I hope you enjoys it.

date: 25/04/25

story under cut.

༶•┈┈୨♡୧┈┈•༶

You've always bought the same type of clothes, jewellery, produce as well. Why would you need anything else when you enjoy what you have.

And maybe that’s why you’re in the position you’re in now.

You should’ve been smarter and known that emptiness would follow you soon enough.

 If you had taken the leap sooner--stepped out of the one-way route to love--you’d already be where you’re trying to force yourself now.

You would’ve realised that maybe what you’re looking isn’t in the men you find pleasure in.

You'd be getting married conventionally, and not having to sign up for some program.

Comfort comes cause the type of man you want is hard to find. He’s either already married or behind his desk overworking himself.

There is a little ego-death, just a little. Having to confront yourself on the type of man you want when you're at your limit is humbling. It should be something you know about yourself already.

You're not best at caring of yourself of late. When was the last time you had a self-care? You're still alive so it's fine.

Just like your type; you've been stuffing yourself behind your desk any chance you get.

But before your wedding you swear you’ll have a day to care for yourself. Physically at least.

You’ve been shaking your head for coming to this point, but your solace is in hope.

Putting your chance at love in someone else’s hands—someone trained, someone professional—might actually be the smartest move you’ve made in terms of relationships. That way, your own traits that have gotten you nowhere won’t come into play.

None of your past relationships have ever seen daylight because of how dumb you end up feeling for indulging in them, for believing they could be more.

They could never see the sun, let alone could they see the conversation of marriage.

You’ve tried to bring up the topic of marriage, and immediately they turn it down or change the subject. After that, you never bring it up again.

Honestly, after experiencing enough of that, you quit on the idea of commitment. Maybe you were stupid for wanting that.

What does marriage have that you can’t get from a simple relationship bound by an unstable verbal agreement.

You could definitely survive on that, right?

That’s what past you got by saying to herself.

You gave up on getting attached. It was just hook up and get out. None of them ever wanted anything serious, so you became that too. But it was never fulfilling, you thought that would be your answer. But it's not who you are.

You went on and it wasn’t long until you felt the emptiness of it all. And you had enough.

But still, somehow you still got stuck with the bro type. You'd like to blame lust but your therapist would like to blame your fear of being alone. You get her point but you don't think it fits your case well. You've never felt lonely or been afraid of it.

Anyways, you’ve dealt with that type for so long and you conclude if was just lust.

So, many of the guys following your frontal lobe development, have told you that you were too much. But all that meant to you was you knew what you wanted and they were not in the same frame. You have goals.

Now you want something serious and someone serious too. Someone who knows what they want and where they want to be in the future. Someone who’s going to have a plan immediately they see you. Because you do.

“I have to tell you guys something.” You clear your throat calling for your friend's attention.

Taehyung's head snaps to you. Jisoo on the other hand meets you with her eyes first.

You’d been hanging out normally, just chatting, laughing and catching up.

No moment was perfect enough to say what you wanted to, so you waited. But you’d been laughing and getting carried away with connected stories that the moment was not getting perfect enough.

For a moment you contemplated procrastinating the news. But if you procrastinated this any further you’d end up having no one at the venue.

So, being presented with the opportunity when a silence settled. It was now or never.

You want lie that it’s excitement, but there’s nothing exciting about the dryness in your throat.

You watch taehyung, seated on a stool elbows leaning against your island, and Jisoo standing next to you, walking from the fridge to the sink. Shit you have their attention.

That’s what you wanted. Speak.

You’ve been friends with Taehyung the longest because you were at the same high school, and you met Jisoo in university because you were in the same dorm and happened to be doing the same program. You all got along as a group and stayed that way. So, being there for each other through most life events, you have to tell them no matter how nervous you are.

And knowing them, what you’re about to say is far from  what they expect.

Due to the serious and nervous undertone in your voice, they stare at you closely, inspecting your awkward tucking in of lips. Normally, Taehyung would be quick to say something witty about your behaviour, but he’s silent, only making you more nervous.

You release your lips and suck in a breath. “Okay... promise not to judge?” You warn, watching them both, but focusing more on Taehyung.

“What the fuck are you 'bout to say?” He narrows his eyes at you like he does when investigating you about a boyfriend. Does he think that’s what you’re about to say?

“You’re not going to judge?” You ask once more for good measure but it serves to irritate them. You chuckle like it’s amusing. Nothing is amusing, not after you tell them.

“At this point, we will.” Jisoo exclaims with a laugh, and Taehyung follows.

"Yeah, we might just."

Feeling the non-existent pressure on your neck, you pull your mouth open. “Fine.” You mumble to yourself for encouragement. There’s no going back; you’ve already told them there is something to be said. “I’m getting married.” It comes out quick and rushed, if they hadn’t known you like they do it could’ve been sworn you had just spoken gibberish.

They look confused. Do you repeat yourself?

You probably shouldn’t have started it that way. You could’ve started with  explaining  the program. Cause now they think you’ve lost your mind.

The two stare at your empty ring finger, then at each other, and then back to you, hoping you’ll clarify with a mocking laughter at their foolishness.

“What?” you say fumbling with the finger. They look at you like you’ve finally lost your last marble.

“To who?” They thunder in unison, confusion dripping from each syllable.

The reaction doesn’t shock you, and you don’t judge the question either. But little do they know you’ve been wondering the same thing as well.

“Well, I don’t know that part, but...” you feel a little ashamed to say it because they will think you’re definitely crazy now. You’ve never been the type to do something like this. They knew you wanted to get married, but not this much.

“Do we need to get you on medication?” you're not on any medication but the words still spill out of Jisoo’s mouth with concern and shock.

Your news has, Taehyung sitting up with folded arms, his eyebrows knit so hard they could touch.

“You barely have a boyfriend, what do you mean marriage, babes?” You turn your head away from Taehyung’s eyes. This is embarrassing.

It’s true for them it’s quite the jump, but if you could just explain yourself...

“You're hiding a boyfriend?”

A boyfriend? it’s comical.

After your nervous laughter dies down, you elaborate. “No. I signed up for this thing where you get married to a stranger.” You explain, your hands waving as you speak. It’s something you always do when you’re defending yourself.

As you process the words to use, you realise it does sound not like you. You’d definitely react like the same. “It’s called Married at First Sight.”

“Wow.” Is all that you get back. What the hell do you do with that?

“I got picked, which means I’m getting married.”

“To a random guy?”

 You nod, lips folding again.

Telling your friends makes all this feel so real. You still can’t believe you signed up for this, let alone that you got picked. Something in you hoped you wouldn’t get picked because 1. what are the odds? And 2. maybe if you didn’t get picked, it would be a sign from the universe that you should just sit your ass down.

Your fingers fumble with the marble of your counter. As much as you’ve seen their reaction, you still don’t know what they think and it's making you feel more embarrassed. If they don’t support you or want you doing this, what the hell would you do? What if they think it’s stupid. “What do you think? You’re making me nervous.”

“I mean—how do you feel?”

“I’m okay." You scoff. “But I’m going into this so blind. And I kind of hate the feeling. But it’s nice to have the weight of finding a match out of my hands.” But having the control out of your hands is not like you, so that’s where the nerves are coming from as well. Cause what if they don’t give you what you want?

“Why’d you sign up, though? could’ve set you up with this guy I know.”

You appreciate your friends setting you up on blind dates; you really do. But they never go well, which is not on them but more on the guys. Surface level, they look like a match for you, but mentally and emotionally, they couldn’t be further from what you want. Maybe you need to look deeper than the superficial, which is honestly what this program is doing for you.

“Those don’t go well for me. You know that.” They do.

Did you mention that Jisoo is engaged? You’ve never seen her happier. She wasn’t even this happy when she graduated.

And you want that too. You’ve always thrown yourself into school and work to suffice for the love you weren’t able to feel. And growing up you always relied on academic validation. But it could only carry you so far after you hit every milestone and still felt nothing. The only thing that came close were the relationships. Situationships.

“You really want to do this?” jisoo coos.

“it’s not so bad to try"

“If they give you what you want.” Taehyung intersects.

You hope they do. “I wrote in detail, so they better.”

You have no clue what criteria they go by, but it couldn't be something contrary to your asks.

You get excited thinking of the perfect man for you standing at the end of the aisle. Like, gosh, you’re going to be so happy. Your stomach flutters already.

“They probably know what I need though.”

“Yeah. But you still want the basics, like—” Jisoo doesn’t even have a chance to finish when you cut in.

“Oh yeah... tall, smart, a man with a plan type of thing.” You feel so childish for being so excited about this. But it’s more about the excitement of having the perfect man for you. You try not to picture his physical appearance because you might end up disappointed if you linger on it for too long.

Taehyung and Jisoo smile, listening to how excited you are. If you’re happy, they are too; that’s all they care about. That what what think of and not that this is the most conventional way to go about it.

Returning to your cooking, you decide to dig more into their thoughts. “What do you guys think I need?”

Feeling experienced, Taehyung takes the lead to share. He’s heard and seen a fair share of your crushes and boyfriends and how it's ended, so he feels like he knows what you’d like. “Definitely a business-style, you know. Sleek back hair, tall, nerdy.”

“Is that what I give off?” You chuckle a brow raised. Embarrassed. You've definitely grown into that assumption.

You do. You’ve always been the academic type and Taehyung’s parents always trashed him for not being like you. Even though he wasn’t even a bad student. You always made him look bad. But that's all to say you’re smart and a work focused person,  so you need a man who is the same.

You also like to be control. Whether that’s knowing all the tiny details of an event, or planning all the trips. As much as he benefits from it, Taehyung is definitely sure you use it as a coping mechanism for something.

“You need someone who can take control.” He adds.

"But still obsessed with her." Jisoo chirps in and Taehyung couldn't nod harder.

It would be nice to have someone to do things with. But an obsessed man? You're not sure. You want him to love you but shouldn't be too overbearing.

“I feel crazy for doing this.” You bite your lower lip, letting your worries out a little. “Like I’m seriously going to get married to a stranger.” You believe it less the more you say it.

“It’s not the conventional way, but you know we’ll be there for you no matter what.” You warm into Jisoo’s rub on your back. You’re trying to mask your true nerves with excitement; you doubt it’s fully working, but you’re trying. “As long as you’re happy And he makes you happy.”

“I’ll make sure of it.” Taehyung promises, sounding more like a threat to your groom.

You seem serious about it and it must be if you got picked. So the only power he has is to be there for you as a friend. Its honestly not such a bad thing, if he wanted to get married he'd think of doing it like this too. It more thrilling. And there’s nothing Taehyung loves more than thrill.

Having your friends feels comforting, and it’s all you need. Really. But with how serious this is, you’re going to have to call your family soon, and you’re not ready for that. The idea raise the bile in you.

Unlike your friends, you have no clue how they’ll feel. You haven’t spoken to them in a while but the last thing they’d be thinking to hear from you is marriage. The last you remember none of them thought you were marriage material.

It's out of courtesy that you’re even telling them. But no matter what they say, you’ve already been picked, and you are getting married.

“it's still crazy though.” this isn't how he imagined this going. But he should be the last person calling you crazy when it’s the only thing he knows. But you get it; it’s out of your character to do something like this. But who knows you could find what you’re looking for outside of your comfort zone. It’s not 100%, but you’re ready to take that risk. “Imagine you marry an ex...”

Taehyung is not helping soothe you. The thought has crossed your mind before.

“Don’t scare me,” you brush off the thought with a hand on your chest, and they both can’t help but laugh. It would be so funny if you walked down the aisle and it was one of your stupid exes. Gosh... you’d walk out immediately, no question. “Don't think they would be serious enough for marriage.” They’re all probably out there still being reckless and whatever.

“What if he doesn’t like something that you like?”

“Don’t know" you chuckle "But I’d be damned if he doesn’t want to listen to my playlists.”

“Ouu, he’d be a gone man if he didn’t like your mugs too.” You know Jisoo’s being sarcastic; for some reason, everyone dislikes your mugs. The designs specifically. But you like them, so he would be damned if he didn’t like them.

“I mean, we have 3 months until we decide whether we want to be together or not....”

“Would you want to get divorced?”

You don’t even want to think of that. Divorce is not something you think about or want to think about. You know how much you hate it and how it affects children. You don’t have kids with the man, but still, you just hate divorce. It feels too much like failure.

“I hope not, but if he’s completely unreasonable, then I’ll have no choice.” You wouldn’t want to fight for something that bears no fruit. But you pray that’s not going to be the case. It shouldn't be too bad.

“I just want to like him, and I hope he likes me too. I would want this to work out.” You stare blankly at your hands. “I don’t know if I’d be able to look for love again after this.”

You’re being to dramatic but that’s because this feels like all you have.

“In that case, let’s pray he’s the one.”

You all go quiet for a second. The pot on the stove starts to bubble.

“This is real,” you murmur.

And somehow, that thought is both terrifying—and thrilling.

--

“Namjoon, what do you think?” He’s the only one who’s been quiet about what just came out of jungkook’s mouth.

It’s not the idea of Jungkook getting married to a stranger that’s concerning (Though that’s its own thing.) It’s more about the idea of Jungkook getting married in general.

“I mean—do what makes you happy. It’s not the conventional way...” Namjoon begins, and Jungkook can’t help but roll his eyes at how serious his friend is being. He’s not surprised, though; Namjoon has always been the more serious and mature one between the two. Unlike Jungkook, Namjoon has always known what to do and when to do it. He is the kind of guy with structure, but Jungkook, on the other hand, is more of the go-with-the-flow kind of person.

He does things on a whim, reckless with who he goes out with. Relationships have always been fun for him; he never took them seriously. That was until he sat with himself and looked around. All of his friends were settling down and were not available to go out. One was having a child, the other was getting married, and standing at the altar as a groomsman so often, had him worried about what he was doing.

He watched his friends fall in love and be so happy; he wanted that too. Could he have it too? The bro lifestyle he was living was not going to give him that.

He hid behind hookups so much that he hadn’t realized he did want to settle down, find a nice woman, and live that picture-perfect life, he saw his parents have.

And it was time for that. So, by chance and through his coworker, he stumbled upon this program and signed up.

He wasn't going to get picked, so it wouldn’t be so bad if he did try.

He never had much hope in it; like, how would some experts know from a form who to pair him up with? It was a scam to him. His plan was to go out and meet ladies the usual way, but even they didn’t see him so seriously; he was just a hookup to them too. It did hurt him. But honestly, they weren’t wife material anyway.

Jungkook has always liked doing stuff that people would call crazy; it made him happy. So being told that a match was found and he was going to get married to a stranger didn’t make him nervous at all—if you exclude the seriousness of marriage though.

“Come on, hyung...”

“I wouldn’t put this past you, so I’m not surprised. I’m just worried if you’re ready for this. I don’t think you realize how serious it is.”

It’s not shocking that Namjoon stares at Jungkook with such distrust; he himself doesn’t trust himself fully. But he wants to. Because how can a wife trust him if he doesn’t?

 Nothing will convince him or others that he is serious and growing, other than through actions. And that’s what he intends to do. Namjoon may not trust him now, but when he sees how serious he is, he will.

“I’ve grown, hyung, don’t you think?” Jungkook sips his beer, staring at his friend. Having this conversation at a bar may not have been the best, but it was the perfect moment to do so. Though jungkook has never cared about perfect timing.

Namjoon lets out a puff of air. He doesn’t want to seem like he’s not supportive. “You have, but this is a serious commitment, Kook.”

He doesn’t need to be told once more how serious this is; his brain can do that just fine.

 “I know. But I’ve reached that point where I want to settle down. I’m ready to get serious.” It’s definitely something he never thought he would say. “I want to show that I can be serious, you know? I want to be like you, Seokjin.”

He pats the man on his shoulder, and he can’t help but feel honored to be an inspiration. Seokjin was one of the first to get married and is now expecting a child. Jungkook envies that—the ability to feel stable enough to bring in another life. He wants to be stable too. Have a little mini him to play around with.

Who the hell has he become.

“I think it’s good you want to settle down, Koo. I just hope you’re doing this for the right reasons and not just to prove yourself,” the oldest begins. Seokjin doesn’t think he’s some wise man, but he can confidently say he has the most knowledge on this among all of them. He does support his friend and thinks it’s great he’s doing this, but something in him fears he’s in it for the wrong reasons. “I mean, it won’t only be you. You’re merging your life with someone else—someone you don’t know to add. I wouldn’t want you to drag her feelings into a journey of trying to prove yourself.”

He doesn’t respond right away. Because the truth is, part of him doesn’t know truly why he’s doing this. And not knowing is something he hates nowadays.

This is where Jungkook’s second thoughts root even further. He fears that—fears dragging someone along into his flawed perception of self. But it’s not what this is about, and even though he doesn’t mention it, he does want to find someone to love and someone to give the love he hasn’t been able to give his past lovers.

“I get what you’re saying, hyung, and I promise that’s not the case. I do want to care for the person too.”

Seokjin nods, taking a sip of his drink. “That’s good. You are growing,” he mocks, and they all laugh.

“The not knowing what’s ahead is a little off putting, I’ll be honest.” Jungkook doesn’t stare at his friends but rather analyses every bubble of air in his drink that rises to the surface. They rise fast, then disappear. Like everything he used to think love was.

“Do you think you can do it?”

“I think I can... I want to.” He finally looks up to stare at nothing in particular.

“The first step is the commitment, so if you have that, then you’re good.” Jungkook nods; he should probably be taking notes on what Seokjin is saying. “Oh, Namjoon, you’re going to be the only single one.” They all laugh, but Namjoon only chuckles.

“It’s scary how you’re still single.” His friends see him as the perfection of what a woman wants: tall, smart, a man who knows what he wants. It’s all what women describe, but still, the tall silver-haired man has never taken dating seriously, nor does he hook up. It’s concerning.

“It’s because I want to,” he replies, taking a drink of his beer. And that’s all they’ll ever get from him.

“So what are you looking for, Koo?”

They shouldn’t even get him started on this. He’s never really known because he’s never really thought about it. But of late, the answers have been coming in like ants—tiny but a lot. “Um, just someone outgoing, you know... likes to have fun.” He won’t burden them with all he’s been thinking because some are just stupid stereotypes. “Someone who likes to go out and try new things, likes to have fun.”

“Jungkook? a party girl?.”

Jungkook rolls his eyes; maybe his previous preferences slip into his ideas of who he wants, which is not good. He wants something new, something he’s never had. Because what he’s had is not what he needs. So maybe this will be different.

“No... listen. I like going bowling and stuff like that, you know? So I hope she would want to do that with me.” He smiles, trying to defend himself. “When I get married, I’ll quit the club too.” The additional sentence causes a roar of laughter among his friends, drawing attention from other bar-goers. Seokjin does go out occasionally, but the difference (especially with his wife’s due date approaching) has been significant.

The laughter dies down.

“Look at him acting like he’s grown.”

“I am grown... I’m going to be a husband.” It’s surreal for him to say.

“She needs to be strong to handle you.”

“I’m not that bad..”

--

The most exciting thing about this whole thing is finding your dress. You’ve been looking at dresses for a long time so you would like to say you know what style you’re looking for, you’ve been thinking of this since you were in middle school so you should know. You’re grateful your taste has grown out of the poofy ballgown phase.

Cause of the context of the wedding you want something simple. Clean. Intentional.

 And Jisoo knew of the perfect store to go to.

Most women find their dress months in advance, but you’ve got a week. A week. So this has to be it. Today  should be the day.

Picking out the dress is the only part of this whole process that feels like you have control over, so you’re throwing yourself into it. And with that comes nitpicking. A lot of it.

You step out of the dressing room in your fourth gown and face the mirror. It’s a beautiful dress. You loved it on the rack. But now, wearing it, something’s... off.

“Why don’t i feel something?” you ask, running your hands down the dress draping your figure. You turn to your friends, looking for validation. “I’m supposed to feel it, right? Isn’t that a thing?” you aren’t sure if it was a myth, but you’ve heard that when you find the right one you’ll be able to feel it.

“You should.” Jisoo says gently, sitting up straighter at the sight of your face. She knows how sensitive this moment is for you. The time pressure, the stress, if you spiral now, it’s over. “What don’t you like about it?”

You stare at the mirror. Tilt your head. Bite your lip. Try to search for an answer.

“i don’t know i just dont feel like a bride in it.” You continue to feel over it trying to convince yourself but still nothing.

Maybe its cause you have no romantic connection with this man and hence you don’t feel like the conventional bride who can actually feel like she’s dress shopping with a purpose.

“Then we try another,” the stylist says with an encouraging smile.

You hope you don’t sound like a bridezilla because this is the fourth dress you’ve tried on and don’t like. Your stomach churns.

What if you don’t find one? What if you end up walking down the aisle in something you hate cause you weren’t able to find ‘the one’ in time. You can’t wear something that doesn’t feel like you. You’re not a person very particular about clothes but this is your wedding dress in question. It has to be perfect.

“Hey...” Jisoo comes to your side, her hand warm on your arm. You feel your shoulders drop just a little. “Don’t pressure yourself. We can come back tomorrow.”

You nod, but the thought makes your chest tighten. You don’t want to come back. You want to feel it now.

“Can I try a few more first? Just in case?”

“Of course,” she says, like she never had a doubt.

You head back into the dressing room. One more. Just one more.

Walking back into the dressing room and getting into another dress. You’re praying this will be the one or good enough at least.

“Fucking hell yn...” Taehyung whistles.

That’s new. He didn’t react like this for the others.

“You look so gorgeous babes.” Jisoo adds with a blushing smile as you walk onto the pedestal to finally see what they see.

The dress in terms of material feels great. It’s soft on your skin and it pours down your body like liquid. Without even looking at it you’d say you feel comfortable.

Once you take in your figure in the mirror, you can fel the tears sting the corner of your eyes. You definatlety feel it. You feel that feeling.

With the other dresses it felt like they were wearing you, but for this one, you’re definitely the one owning it.

“Gosh.. it’s almost too perfect to be marrying a stranger in.” You state still enamoured and not believing that the reflection is you.

“if this dude doesn’t cry or fall to his knees when he sees you i’ll beat his kneecaps in.” Taehyung expresses and when you look at him through the mirror you catch him tabbing a tissue at his eyes, jisoo too. Gosh now your tears are falling too.

“Come on guys.” You try to say through  a sniffle. “you’re making me cry.”

Sniffling and patting at your eyes with a tissue you try to collect yourself.

“on a serious note. You look gorgeous.” Taehyung says, folding the tissue in to his palm. “you look beautiful. I should’ve married you instead. This guy doesn’t deserve you.”

You choke out a laugh, knowing he’s joking. You and Tae never looked at each other like that.

“If we were getting married, I’d wear sweats. Jeans if I’m feeling fancy.”

“Ouch,” he gasps, clutching his chest. Jisoo snorts. “Is that all I am to you.” He’s way more than that. He’s everything you'd ever want to dream of in a friend.

“i hope this dude realises how much he’s won with you.” Jisoo says softly.

“If he has two eyes, he will otherwise we’ll fight.” Of course it’s tae saying that.

“Why do you hate him you barely know him.” you say causing the man to pull back in defence.

“I’m just setting boundaries.”

He’s always been protective. You can’t blame him.

“But how do you feel?” Jisoo asks.

You take a breath. Let the silence hold for a second. You take in the weight of the dress, the way it fits, the way it makes you feel like maybe this whole thing won’t be so terrible after all.

“i love it.” It comes out soft but it says all that’s needed to be said. “i think it’s the one.”

Cheers erupts in the room the room, and your heart feels light for the first time in days.

You laugh through your tears. “I’m gonna be a Mrs. Something.”

“I just hope he’s got a good last name, at least.” Taehyung grins.

You hope so too.

But that’s one of the many things you’re choosing not to think about. Not yet.

--

Jungkook has never woken up early for anything. And the last thing he ever thought he’d be waking up early for was his wedding.

“You ready for today?” Seokjin says bascally aready dressed while Jungkook walks around in his sweats.

“As ready as i can ever be.” His eyes don’t leave the suit hanging on the wall. Gosh how would he have found one if he didn’t have his friends.

“You sure? You’re too calm.”

“Not everyone’s gonna be in panic.” Namjoon chimes in.

Seokjin’s wedding morning was definitely chaotic cause of how the man panicked.

 Though at the time he never thought of it seriously, Jungkook worried that it was custom to panic like that and he’d panic too. But even still he feels too relaxed, last night’s drinks might have something to do with it. When Seokjin and namjoon had gone to sleep, and jungkook couldn’t, he's only solace was the liquor cabinet. He hopes it’s not obvious. Cause he can fool his friends but his mother might be able to catch it, no matter how hard he’s brushed his teeth.

“it’s good to atleast show some of your nerves.” Seokjin moves to the counter to pour some drinks. Jungkook gags at the smell of spirit. “You can’t be perfectly relaxed.”

Can’t he? It is possibe for him to not be worried about anything. He doesn’t have to be having doubts and fears for this to be real. He doesn’t.

“I’m fine.” He groans, rubbing his face and reaching  for the suit hanging on the door of his room. He's fine...so fine.

Seokjin doesn’t dig in deeper. And one thing the older does know is that no matter what, Jungkook must be feeling something and his silence about it might be proving what Seokjin thought. Thinks.

“Did you send the gift?” he turns to namjoon worried about one thing.

“Yeah.”

Jungkook wanted to make a good impression so he hopes the gift does some apologising if you’re able to notice he's fucked up face.

“Can you help me with my tie?” He knows how to do it. Has been doing it for school for so long. But for once he just wants to feel like she’s involved in something he's doing. Something positive.

The drooping look on her face is discouraging enough, but he tries.

“You’ve been doing it for so long. Do you really need my help?” She says not even looking at him, and yet again he feels the embarrassment.

Clearing his throat, he turns to do it himself but his dad replaces his hands. “I told you guys, you didn’t have to travel for this.” He says lifting his chin up a little for his dad.

He was fine with them not coming, and seeing that they lived so far away it would’ve been an inconvenience. And it’s not like its a wedding his mother would want to attend anyways; so he didn’t  want to waste their time.

He was perfectly fine with them not coming.

“it’s your wedding why wouldn’t we come?” His father says patting down the tie and arranging his collar. It's almost as if it’s his first day at school and his graduation again. He hopes he can do this for his son one day too.

In a whisper away from anyone else his father speaks. "I want you to enjoy today. And whoever she is I want you to give her your all. Love her more than you love yourself, more than you’ve ever loved anything.”

His eyes are sincere as the words are spoken. His father isn’t emotional so even that soft fall of his brows is a lot. And it’s all Jungkook can ask for. “She's gonna love you too, I know it. You’re a good kid.” He pats his shoulder.

He can cry...no. So he sniffles the waters away.

His father has always been a good husband. And that’s who he wants to be as well, no matter who he marries, no matter how difficult she could be.

His parents have been the ideal couple in his life for a long time. And that doesn’t change no matter what.

Everything is silent for a moment as jungkook sinks into what’s about to happen today. It’s only until a voice breaks his serenity.

“Namjoon!” his mother calls out playfully with a glass in her hands, she doesn’t even drink.

Namioon flinches and turns to her smiling awkwardly.  He's never known how to act around her. “When are you getting married? Sure there are so many woman dying to be hitched up to a perfect guy like you.”

Jungkook rolls his eyes and tells namjoon he doesn’t have to answer.

But his mother won’t let that be.

“Not anytime soon Mrs jeon.”

The laugh she releases is sharp and demeaning. But it’s not directed to namjoon. “You see? People who wait to find a girl the right way.”

When Jungkook’s gaze meets hers, he has to remind himself she's the woman that birthed him.

“You didn’t have to come you know that?”

“Come on. You want me here, I’m your mother.”

Contrary to popular belief...

“You’re such a handsome boy, why do you want to get married. You’re wasting your time.” She starts.

She should be praising him for seeing the value in getting married and maturing to the idea. But no...

Jungkook puffs out a breath. The room has been silent since his mother began speaking. And he drowns in it. There's a lot he could say.

Instead, he throws the jacket on and teases at it a little in the mirror. Some are unnecessary touches but he does them anyways. Feeling ready enough he steps away but before he walks out further he looks at the woman sat on the couch.

“If you can..,try your best not to speak to her, okay?”

--

“Did they call?” Taehyung’s voice is almost none existent in your field of thoughts.

It’s only when he repeats that you catch what he said. "no.”  You say no energy in your voice. “but it’s fine...their loss.”

You toss your phone on the couch a little too harshly, just wanting to forget it. Forget everything.

You won’t and can’t beg for people who don’t want to be in your life. Informing them was just a courtesy, you didn’t want him here anyways.

Though it would’ve been great if they could just put their pride aside for you for once.

Taehyung wraps his arms around you. “Their loss. Just know you’ve got us.” He nudges at your temple with his nose.

“Yeah, you’ve got people who care and that’s all that matters.” Jisoo hugs you too and now you’re sandwiched between them. It reminds you that no matter what, you still have people around you who do care and want to support you. So if those people who you thought would want to see succeed didn’t want to be here then it’s not on you. You have your friends.

“let’s finish getting ready guys.” They brush them away playfully and immediately your hairstylist is quick to working on you.

 “So bossy.” You roll your eyes at the remark. “Gonna give this guy a run for his money.”

It doesn’t matter. You cheer to yourself.

Nothing else matters today, you’re getting married and you don’t need to cloud your thoughts with negativity. You wouldn’t want your husband to see you all gloomy. That’s not gonna to be your first impression.

You smile.

All you want to do right now is walk down that aisle. Nothing else matters.

“Did i mention a little something came in for you in the mail” jisoo’s voice comes in excited but you aren’t able to turn cause you’re on your final steps of getting your makeup done.

“huh?” when she stands in front of your eyes fall in the object in her grasp. “What’s that?” you eaxclaim with a smile taking the box onto your lap.

“Open it.” She exclaims, more excited than you.

The tiffany and co logo on the box is evident when you unwrap it. You can’t help but smile from ear to ear. You haven’t met him yet and he’s making you smile this hard? Once it’s open you’re met with a silver locket and bracelet. You’ve gotten gifts before but you have no clue why you’re blushing so hard for this one.

“oh my gosh these are so cute.”

“tiffany and co too...” Jisoo adds, immediately rushing for you to put it on cause it would look good with your dress.

Taehyung watches from across the room, already dressed. “Anybody can buy that.”

“hater...” you and Jisoo choir.

--

Seokjin made it clear for him to behave when he sees your family. He has no clue what he thought he would do, because as much as he’s outgoing, In front of the in-law's he’s a dove.

He’s trying to be calm and act like he’s ready and been ready, but he can’t deny the cold sweats that threaten to run and mess his suit. This is the most trust he’s put into anything. All he’s praying is that it works out.

He’s a fucking groom.

Jisoo sits watching him closely, he is handsome and somebody you would find handsome too. But something she knows you’ll be worried about is probably his personality. He looks like the opposite of what you want and all you’ve been running away from. But who knows with you nowadays. He could be a good guy though.

“Hello.” Jungkook waves to your side. From all he can see, there’s a woman probably same age as him, could be a sister? Friend? Next he sees is an older lady probably the same age as his mother. That could be your mother. The rest of the crowd is filled with 2 people.

Not many people, but t doesn't matter. He wouldn't invite anybody too, if he didn’t have to. Maybe you're too embarrassed to be marrying already.

He's eyes can't stay on one spot. He tries but it's painful.

When he turns to his side, Seokjin and namjoon smile at him, it helps ease whatever he’s feeling but immediately his heart tightens up watching the person sat next to his father whisper into his ear..

What the hell is she saying? Is he standing up straight? Is he smiling enough or too hard.

--

This is the craziest thing you've ever done. The bravest too.

And—God, you hope—it’s the last wild thing you’ll have to do for a while.

Breathing is something your body usually handles without question, but now it needs supervision. You have to consciously pull air into your lungs, or you won’t make it down this aisle walking.

You have no idea what’s waiting at the end of it.

What if you’re not attracted to him?

Worse—what if he’s not attracted to you?

What if you’re not what he’s been hoping for?

“This still feels like a dream,” you mumble, looping your arm around Taehyung’s. He smells like cologne and nerves. What the fuck is he nervous for.

“You ready?” he asks gently.

No, but you nod. “Yeah.”

The gentle music of a live plays as people  stand and you walk, still not in view yet cause if the infrastructure. Its a small venue but sill manages to make you feel like you’re drowning.

As you walk and get closer you try your hardest not to look at the one thing you’re most curious about.

So your eyes choose to scan the venue instead—the warm fairy lights, the soft music, the flowers. You knew the production team would go all-out, but you didn’t expect them to go all out for you. It’s perfect.

You’ve never felt this special in your life. Twelve-year-old you couldn’t have imagined this moment. Even though this isn’t the love story you thought you’d get, the feeling is still here, blooming in your chest.

Who says he can’t become the love of your life?

Jungkook's eyes are wide when they land on your.

From your soft smile to styled hair amd the the dress that falls down your body carefully, he watches every detail. He can’t look anywhere else. He swears his heart was just in his chest a moment ago.

Jungkook watches the person walking you down the aisle, he’s a younger guy. That’s interesting. A sibling?

From all that he’s imagined he could get, you were not on the card. But he'll take it.

You’re more than he bargained for.

You walk slowly, soaking it all in. Nearing the arch, you finally allow yourself to look at the man chosen for you.

And—shit.

He’s… handsome.

You eyes squint.

He smiles as you approach, so at least he doesn’t seem horrified. That’s something.

Taehyung shares a nod with the man, nothing warm or cold behind. You hug him before he walks to his seat, clinging for just a second too long. Then, it's just you and him—your groom. You can’t meet his eyes for more than a second. And it’s embarrassing.

You’ve been on debate teams, presented in University projects and in meetings at work. Basically you’ve had eyes on you before and it was manageable...but these? They burn.

“Hi,” you say, voice small.

 You glance toward his side. A good amount of family. One person stands out—tall, silver hair. Probably a groomsman.

Your groom is attractive, sure, but not your type. Tattoos?, the way he stands—he looks like someone you tried to avoid.

You hate how superficial that sounds. But the thought won’t leave.

At least he’s taller than you.

“Hi,” he replies, equally nervous. Then leans in. “You look beautiful.”

“Thank you. You look nice too.” You eye him down, eyes narrowed.

If this were a blind date, you’d already be knee-deep in awkward small talk. But this? This is… bigger. It requires bigger questions.

“Let me take that for you.” Jisoo’s whisper interrupts. She takes your bouquet and you almost refuse, needing something to keep your fingers occupied.

“I see you got the jewellery.” His voice is as light as the pale blue sky. It’s odd to compare it to a colour but that how it feels. His voice reminds you of the blue sky you’ve stood under so many times wondering if your soulmate died. There’s still a possibility of that.

You glance down. You’d worn it and forgotten. It had become that comfortable. That familiar. But now with the recognition, you can feel the cold silver touch every part of you. You can feel it sway and graze you every turn you make. Even the smallest action causes movement.

“Oh yeah. Thank you.”

“You’ll have to thank my groomsman too. He helped me pick it.”

He looks over at Namjoon, who immediately looks like he wants to disappear.

Maybe he shouldn’t have said that. It might sound like he couldn’t handle it alone. But truthfully, Namjoon just knows more about…well, this kind of thing.

“Thank you, groomsman,” you direct a more warm smile to the man.

Namjoon mumbles something, but you don’t catch it.

Turning back, you stare a beat longer when your eyes catch he's features. You bite the inside of your cheek. His face—it’s not common. Not forgettable.

And yet…

The officiant steps forward. Time for the official part.

“Yn, meet for the very first time, Jungkook Jeon. Jungkook, meet for the very first time, Yn Y/l/n.”

His name hits you like a church bell.

“Jungkook?” you repeat sounding a little shocked, like you didn’t hear it right the first time.

He chuckles nervously. “That’s me.” Do you not like his name?

Your stomach drops.

You know him. The name. The face. It clicks.

Your nose works over time pulling in air. You can't open your mouth, cause you might just puke.

Shit—does he know you? He doesn’t seem like he does.

Is this real?

The man you remember wouldn’t be standing here right now. Does she have some polar opposite twin or something?

You rub your arms and wish you could blame the AC for the chill. But that's all on him.

Glancing at your friends. They have no clue what’s happening inside your head right now. They don't know how fast the room spins.

Where do you put your hands, what do you hold onto?

None of them know about him. He’s the only one you've never told them about. And they sit there waiting for you--with smiles and excitement--to marry him.

You made them come here. They smile for you. They support you.

You asked them to be here for you. You wanted to do this.

What a waste of time. You should’ve known.

To add-on, as you look at your friends for a second time you stop at a face you were not expecting and hadn't noticed. How did you miss that? A face that had told you she didn’t want to be here, well not her specifically but mainly on behalf of your father. But what the hell is your mother doing here? She said she couldn’t come.

What the fuck is going on. Collect yourself,  you don’t want to look like you’re about to faint. Even though the overwhelming review of information could just kill you right here.

But it’s okay. You still have time to walk away. Walk away from everyone.

You thought this was going to go well.

You hoped it would.

But now?

This is not what you wanted.

-

-

༶•┈┈୨♡୧┈┈•༶

A/n: 😏😏 what did you think? I hope you liked it. Please don't ask me if it's a happy ending story(i'm not saying it is or is not.) I just feel if you ask me that then you're not really interested in the story progression. I will try my best to post frequently (I've been working on 2 as well) so just hood your horses.

anyways I hope you enjoyed.

same time next week?

Lets discuss in the replies 🖐😊

taglist: @lovingkoalaface @granataepfelchen @jksusawife @notsevenwithyou @llallaaa @kmpj9 @lryf @smileyshaven @dragonflygurl4

note: to join taglist just inbox.

every note, reply and reblog is appreciated.

let me know what you thought of this chapter. do you think she'll marry him?

[bonzos-number-1-fan]

TMAGP 39 Thoughts: Meat Dreams

It's a rare Alex and Jonny co-written episode this week. It's also a very short and sweet one, although I am told that's to buy time for some longer episodes that are upcoming. However, it'll also be a short and sweet post from me because the nature of this one does mean I've precious little to say. I thought the episode was pretty good over all. I'm not a huge fan of the statement here but I do think it was well-written and well acted, it just didn't do much for me. As always though, there are a few things to pick at for the show's wider mythos.

Spoilers for TMA , and TMAGP episode 39 below the cut.

This is probably the simplest episode of the show so far. While there are scenes they're all contiguous and, as such, does make this episode fell quite small. Which is good and bad. It gives the episode an air of intimacy — which is apt for the content — but it does also leave little unseen and unsaid which is bad for these things.

I don't have an awful lot to say about this one. I think the takeaways and themes here are either very explicit or will be up to personal interpretation. Meaning you either don't need me to explain, or I cannot explain, the various goings-on in this episode. Although of note the official affix to denote who is a TMA character is now PL [name]. So this was PL Alice, as opposed to regular Alice. PL meaning primeline, as in prime timeline. And talk of the timelines is interesting to me because a prime timeline is a different thing than a prime dimension. Lots of things can change dimension to dimension but a series of timelines suggests some sort of common starting point. Timelines are different because events are different rather than the fundamental nature of things. I don't necessarily think that's the case here given the scope of the changes in regards to things like the Fears but we know the underlying metaphysics are at least compatible. Which might suggest that the only reason things are different in TMAGP is because people did different things. The Fears are different, or non-existent, because they were never fed or never born rather than simply not being a factor of the world. It's hard to know how much any of that will matter but they're at least framing it in terms of choice and consequence rather than a different set of rules from the get go. Although as Sam's appendicitis shows it does appear as though these timelines are trying to converge on some sense of uniformity.

Post-statement Sam and Georgie make it halfway down the road before finally clocking the very statement-y nature of Alice's statement. Which I'm taking to mean that [Error]'s abilities do involve a level of passivity or obfuscation when they're pulling these statements out of people. At least when the tape recorders are the vector. If that isn't the case Georgie has gone from telling the Wardens to be very aware of people statementing to letting Alice monologue for 6 unbroken minutes. I'm curious to know if we'll be seeing more of this sort of thing, or if it's more of a one off. I do also think it's quite odd Sam didn't ask Alice some of the more pressing questions. Sam knows the Magnus Institute is a fairly large deal in both universes. He's got first hand experience with one of them and in the primeline he knows it was the centre of the Change and that the event that ended it is named after it. He knows it turned into a big tower, knows everyone could see the big tower, and knows they blew up the big tower. Given Sam and PL Sam both had appendicitis, and both got together with Alice, you'd think a "weird question: did your Sam ever go to the Magnus Institute and see a dude turn into a skellington?". It might not elucidate anything, what with them being in different places, but it does seem like the sorta thing you'd at least ask about given all that context. But it does seem like they'll be stuck together in the next PL ep, so maybe he'll ask then.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Incident/CAT#R#DPHW Master Sheet and Terminology Sheet

DPHW Theory: N/A

CAT# Theory: You know the drill. See episode 34's post for thoughts on this.

R# Theory: N/A

Header talk: See episode 34's post for thoughts on this.

[takaraphoenix]

I am... I am genuinely in tears.

What. What is the... What's the point. Why. What. Why. No. Why.

I kept trying to give the retcon the benefit of the doubt, that... surely, there is a movie-specific plotline that builds up where the retcon will be a stunning reveal that makes things slot into place.

But it's just. Fully. Unrelated to the movie?

The movie is over and we are cutting to a post credit scene of Shinichi's parents where Yuusaku reveals that he has a big brother to his wife who didn't even know?

Toichi was her fucking MAGIC TEACHER. THEY HAVE KNOWN EACH OTHER FOR YEARS I AM ACTIVELY BITING YOU, GOSHO-SAN.

Somehow, both these scatterbrained always absent parents not telling Shinichi about it? Okay. Yeah. Sure. I would have actually bought that because they are disasters.

But to fully retcon it so Yukiko didn't even know that Toichi and Yuusaku are twin brothers?

And, and I can not stretch this enough, to do this in a movie where it is fully irrelevant to the plot?

I might have somewhat understood if this were actually a Midnight Crow centric movie.

If we skipped on the unnecessary murder and the Heiji-centric love drama. If it was fully focused on Kaito and if the Midnight Crow played virtually any role at all in it.

If, to tie this - already big MK retcon that I hate, fyi - into the DetCo storyline by retconing Yuusaku and Toichi into twins? Somewhat maybe reasonable, perhaps. Like, a case could be made for why this would be done.

But to use the post credit scene of this fully unrelated movie to set up this huge ass plot twist for MK that will tie MK even more into the DetCo world?

So, what's the info on Movie 28. Because Movie 28 needs to be a Midnight Crow movie now. It just... needs to be. Which would be a different shade of unhinged, considering the movies have never really done the whole "connecting" part - loosely, as all DCMK canon connects, but not MCU style "and here is the post credit scene that serves no other purpose than to set up the next movie".

Like, the movie wasn't even bad? The movie was very enjoyable, very silly, very fun. And then they just slap these last two minutes on there and smack you in the face with "yeah, we are bringing Evil Undead Toichi into the DetCon verse and he is now Yuusaku's TWIN BROTHER".

I... I joked, earlier, that the love drama had telenovela vibes in this movie, but... but they fully retconned an evil twin brother in and I'm dying...

Gosho, why are you doing this. What... purpose... does this serve. Why.

And neither Shinichi nor Kaito even learn about this reveal. It's exclusively for the viewers. Why do you hurt me like this. The dumbest plot-twist I might have ever seen in my life and I've seen some shit.

[accio-victuuri]

i’m on board the clown car for this one. 🤡🤡🤡

while i do admit that shanghai is a busy city and “the place” for anything entertainment related — it’s still sus and there are other bits that seem to tie this all up pretty nicely.

0423, xzs released episode 2 of GG’s Europe vlog. tbh, that was unexpected for me to the point that i forgot we were still waiting for content. tho he did feature his Barcelona trip more. i saw someone mention that there was a focus on a car tire which some were saying is a clue for racer 85. i was meh about that but on the same day, wyb flew to shanghai and posted about his race. what emoticon did they use? yep. a car tire/wheel. 🛞

and yes. yes. this could be a coincidence. there are other reasons etc. but for this to happen on the same day. as a cpf, it got my attention 👀👀👀

and now we’re here, the next day, 0424, XZ is in Shanghai. ✈️ Hongqiao International Airport. This is close to Jiading, the city where Yibo’s race is gonna be taking place ( Shanghai Audi International Circuit ). 30 minutes away kind of close is what i’m talking about here.

majority are saying that he is there for work. some are even so precise saying it’s for 3 days and he specifically requested for this time period. take these things as fanfiction tho.

what gets me tho is how quiet his solo fanbase is about this. that actually says a lot. even on weibo. i think the first and only shot of him at the airport was close to 10PM. that’s still pretty early for his big fans to post about it and even for it to trend on weibo. such a big difference to when he was seen in Wuhan randomly at the airport. tho i have to say, the one related to Wuhan, there was a pretty clear video. compared to this one in Shanghai, it’s a screenshot from a video. not your usual airport video. which leads me to think that none of us were supposed to know about this but somehow — we did. his so/os could literally pick this up and boast about how he is booked and busy like he always is even with just but they didn’t. because they know who is in Shanghai right now. they know what the two of them being in the same city will imply. and just a day apart at that. this is confirmation enough for me lol. not that they will be together or anything, cause no one can absolutely confirm that to us, but it confirms what we always knew. that these solos are nervous as hell and are sensitive with the potential cpns 😂😂😂

some are saying that xz wants us to know that he is there so he showed himself. but with the type of material we got ( maybe i could be wrong and hours later we get a clearer video ) i’m doubting that claim. i’m 50/50 on that. there’s also the rumor that it’s a 3-day work trip. that’s highly unusual for XZ. his time is expensive. his shoots usually only last a day. or maybe it’s a different kind of work that he’s doing. who knows.

now we are all rethinking that cpn related to a video taken in a previous race. so was he really there. 👀

then you add how smiley yibo is in the content shared. tho of course i don’t attribute this all to XZ. he loves to race. this is his passion. so of course he will be happy. but like, he’s clearly in good condition — and inspired.

i have a feeling that this is not the end of the story. let’s see what things happen along the way. whatever it is, good luck to our dear racer 85 🙌🏼

…..and to the cpfs who will be there, well, they gotta keep their eyes open for a specific visitor. 🤣🤣🤣🤣

-END.

GG is in Shanghai 'for work'.

It's just a coincidence. 🤷🏼‍♂️

[gosteon]

TWO! OF! THEM!

[deoidesign]

Can you make a tutorial on how you world build and make ocs? I can't seem to make any people in my brain, but then when I try to come up with environments jobs, beliefs and little details to slowly come up with someone, I think: well I don't really know how people have influenced the world- it's a weird loop

To be honest, I don't think I can! Writing is an extremely personal process. The way I write is directly related to how I process things, what I find important in stories, years of my own analysis of my and other's writing, etc... The way you write will be unique to you, as well. But I can explain how I personally think of it.

The short answer:

Write. Write anything and everything, it's a tool to explore your ideas. Analyze your own writing, and write more. Then, as you discover which ideas you want to develop, write more to explore them more. You won't know what you want otherwise!

The long answer:

I think this kind of loop is common. It's easy to feel like everything needs to be done "at once," because our job as writers is to make elements logically fit with each other for our readers. But as you've discovered, developing multiple elements simultaneously isn't really possible, or at least is extremely difficult.

Personally, when I think of writing, I break it into three major elements; characters, world, and plot. As much as possible every scene explores one or more of these, and as much as possible these three things tie back into what I personally consider most important: theme.

Everything I do is in service of the themes I want to present. Without them my events feel aimless. It can take a while to discover them, but they're the core of my work. You will have to discover what you feel is the core of yours. Analyzing other media helps with this too.

Concepts in your brain exist in a state of infinite potential. But when you start writing you have to start making choices, which removes potential as you move forward... But you have to move forward anyways. If there's ideas you want to explore later, you can always explore them later.

What this ends up meaning, to answer your question, is that I don't think of my characters as "people in my brain" or my worlds as something people have influenced... Not at their core, at least. They are tools that I use to represent specific ideas. Obviously they're also my blorbos, but mostly they're serving a specific narrative purpose.

So above all else... Write. Write, and discover what you're writing about, and then start over and write with that in mind. Keep doing this. But you have to write!

[dragonmasterhiccup]

It was good to hear her laugh. It meant that he was able to cheer her up, at least a little.

"Oh! Yeah, yeah, of course." Getting up, he brought the tray to Altair, kneeling beside the dragon, "Talk away. I'll just be...right here, behind the couch."

"This might sting a bit, Altair, I'm sorry," he softly warned the dragon as he began to apply some salve to the damaged areas.

He listened as he worked, brows furrowing as she continued. How could he not have seen it? All the times they'd return from missions, there was a certain look on her face. She had been happy at their success, yes, but there was a sadness there, too.

Hiccup always attributed it to the fact that they had gotten injured, but now he knew there was so much more to it.

Her heart had been in the right place. It always was.

The Chief knew he had to be careful here. Lyra clearly felt bad about what had happened, he didn't want to make her feel worse. Maybe he just needed to give her a different perspective...

Placing a bucket of fish in front of Altair, he stood, making sure he hadn't missed any of her injuries. It looked like he hadn't missed any. Good.

Turning back to Lyra, he was quiet for a moment before speaking up. "You haven't ruined everything. Ash...he probably just needed to get himself in a place where he could hear you out, let you explain. He, he was beside himself with worry. We both were. But that's not the point..."

Running a hand through his hair, he continued, "Don't worry about upsetting me. We found you in time, you'll be alright...that's all that matters to me. I know you, you don't put yourself in danger on purpose. But, Lyra...Ash knows you too. You need to trust that he knows you well enough to not let something like this put an end to everything you've built."

"We all want to be...more than what we are. To, to defy expectations. If that cave in hadn't occurred, I have no doubt that you would have succeeded. But...all you had to do was tell someone, so if something happened, you'd still be safe. It wouldn't mar your ability to do it, but even the best of us had a backup plan, has someone who knows what we're doing. To help in case things go wrong."

"You...you have such a big heart, Lyr. I know you meant well, you always do. And I'm sure Ash knows that too. Just... forgive yourself, and when Ash returns, which he will, you can hear him out, and he will hear you out."

Moving to sit beside her, he wrapped an arm around her shoulder. "It's all going to be fine. I'm sure of it."

@thethreefaes

Hiccup had just finished polishing a new axe he'd made when he heard someone enter the forge.

"I'll be right with you," he said, setting the axe down and turning his attention towards the entrance.

"Oh! Ash, hey! What, what's wrong? You look like the twins convinced you to see their boar pit..."