#maybe they kiss but its more like? Its queerplatonic

[beastlyidiocy]

the micolash and damian brainworms hitting hard i have work to do but i need to draw scary yaoi .

[acesartemis]

yearning (g, Eddie pov, buddietommy)

my take on a queer/asexual/questioning eddie

“Eddie, I want you to do a little research” —

Eddie bit his lip to contain his groan at the word ‘research’. He had come to have the kneejerk reaction to it due to Buck’s insistent need to research everything. It was endearing, don't get him wrong, but he could easily get tired of the yapping.

—“on the orientation of Asexuality,” Frank suggested close to the end of Eddie’s therapy session. “Maybe its romantic counterpart of aromanticism, too, wouldn’t hurt. Whom you are attracted to does not garner the same amount of distress in you as much as the how.  I think the asexual spectrum may be of comfort to you, considering what we’ve discussed previously of your views towards sex and dating feeling like you have to perform in those situations.

“Unfortunately, I cannot—and I would not—tell you what you should identify as, but I feel like, even if you’re not asexual, learning that it is a possibility may help you feel more settled. Furthermore, it may open the door to more exploration if you so choose. Once you have a baseline of information, we can discuss further, if needed, at the next session. ‘Sound good?”

At Eddie’s overwhelmed look, Frank gave a tiny chuckle. “Here, I’ll write it down so it's easier to remember for you.” 

Eddie took the paper from the therapist and gave him a hearty handshake. “I will. Thanks again, man.”

—♠—

The paper sat on his bedside table for three and a half days until a restless and hot night after a whirlwind of saving people from themselves and other members of humanity left Eddie unable to get comfortable enough to sleep.

With a sigh, Eddie reached for the paper, illuminated red by his alarm clock, and his phone. Might as well do some reading at 3:37 in the morning.

“Asexuality,” Google read, “is the lack of sexual attraction to others, or the low or absent interest in or desire for sexual activity.”

Well, what a loaded definition.

Eddie’s head thunked against his headboard, dropping his phone to his chest as he stared at the ceiling. Yes, he’s described dating and sex as feeling like a performance. With Shannon, it was his first real relationship, them being so young. The Church and his culture told him to be a man he needed to find himself a good woman and only bed her after they were married. That was fine with him. But the act itself felt gross that first night. The noises, the sweat, the skin to skin contact, and the dirty talk always felt so awkward to him. And he hated the anxiety of making sure she felt good, that she was always satisfied. Eddie could stick his gloved hands in bloodied flesh all day long, but the thought of reaching into a woman just to find a bunch of nerves—no.

Then Shannon got pregnant, their marital-duty fulfilled, and Eddie found his out in the military where he went years without having sex, and truthfully didn't think much of it at all.

But touching he missed. And kissing. He could never get enough. The closeness, the intimacy, the soft caresses, the security of having someone or being in someone’s arms… His soul craved for it when he was gone. 

Hmm, maybe the doc was on to something.

But what really caught his attention was queerplatonic relationships: a type of relationship, most commonly non-romantic, where there is an intense emotional connection that goes beyond a traditional friendship.

Well, damn, that was him and Buck to a tee. Buck, whose attention he sought out, whose comfort he craved (even more so than Shannon, truly), who had wormed his way into the fabric of Eddie’s life to the point that he felt secure in leaving Christopher to in the event of his death.

And Buck, whom Christopher had attached himself to like a leech moreso than any other partner Eddie has had.

But was what he felt for Buck considered romantic? True, Eddie had craved to press his lips against Buck’s after the tsunami, and the lightning, but was that inherently romantic? Who could say. For right now though, queerplatonic partners had a nice ring to it. He would ask Frank at their next session.

—♠—

Then Tommy flew into the picture and Buck was suddenly bisexual and what Eddie had wanted to label their relationship all went up in smoke.

“What Buck feels does not negate what you do.” Frank’s advice rolled around his head for days. “And you don't know what he truly feels until you ask.”

Eddie truly couldn't blame the guy. Eddie wasn't sure what his attraction level was yet, having settled on calling himself merely queer for now and quite possibly never having a specific answer was quite alright with him, but he had to admit that Tommy was an Adonis of a guy. The envy of straight and queer men alike, for their respective reasons. And Tommy was the epitome of cool. Flying his new friends to Vegas in a helicopter? Strong, intelligent, and witty? He understood the baggage Eddie carried of misogyny and the military. His arms were big enough to envelop anyone, making them feel absolutely safe and secure.

Eddie hadn't felt that way with another person since Buck.

Oh, shit.

—♠—

During a frantic phone call during a break in the activity of Eddie's work day, Frank said, “Eddie, yes, it is okay to feel like this with more than one person. You’re friends with more than one person, right? And we all have different needs that can't always be met by the same person.”

—♠—

Eddie’s stomach was in knots. He made uncharacteristic mistakes on calls to the point where Hen decided to body-check him out of the way while looking after a patient and it was obvious Buck noticed. Of course Buck noticed. And Tommy too, as Eddie fiddled with his wine glass the next time the trio had gathered at Tommy’s to watch a fight on ESPN.

“Spill it,” Tommy softly demanded, reaching over to rescue the fragile glass from his fingers.

“Yeah, you’ve been off," Buck agreed. His lips turned down in a worried frown. "Is it us? We have both been extra careful not to make you uncomfortable—”

Eddie groaned. “Buck, no. It definitely is not you guys. Well, it is, but not the way you’re thinking.”

“You can tell us anything, you know. This is all a whirlwind to us too,” Tommy assured and Eddie just yearned.

That's what it was. It all finally clicked in his brain. Eddie was yearning. He already had Buck and knew he always would, but he yearned for more. Tommy made Buck so happy in a way Eddie could not. And while that didn't truly matter to him, he was developing the feeling of being the outsider looking in.

“Eddie?” Buck urged so carefully, so softly, like he was terrified.

“I want—” Eddie breathed, clearing the lump of anticipation and anxiety from his throat. “I yearn for… both of you. I… relish in your hugs and touches, and I want… more. I’ve been talking to Frank and I know I'm not bisexual in the traditional sense, and I might be somewhere on the asexual spectrum but I don't care. I just know deep in my bones that I want you. Both of you, in my life forever. To talk to, to cry and laugh with, to take care of my son with. To have and to hold and to kiss… but nothing sexual.”

“So like we’re already doing, but with more of this?” 

Eddie’s breath hitched as Tommy’s warm hand encircled his wrist. He gave a small tug and Eddie complied eagerly as the man wrapped his arms around him and tucked Eddie against his chest. His breath tickled his ear as he pressed chapped lips to his temple.

Eddie’s heart felt like it were to explode.

A small whine fell from Buck’s lips. “Don't leave me out!”

Eddie chuckled as he and Tommy opened opposite arms to make room for Buck, quickly bracketing the man into their shared embrace. “Aw yes. Lifetime achievement unlocked!”

“You’re a dork, Buck.”

“But you love it.”

“So this is good?” Tommy asked, locking eyes with Eddie and giving a soft but pointed look. Buck would roll with anything, they both knew, but Tommy had the experience to know he needed to step lightly with this. 

“Yes, it and you.” Eddie aimed to brush a kiss to Buck’s cheek but was surprised to find Buck's lips instead, the attacker giggling as they separated. Eddie then turned his head to kiss the underside of Tommy’s jaw, ensuring the older man didn’t feel left out either.

Eddie gave him a firm nod, and delighted when Tommy brushed their lips together for the first time. The kiss was feather light but it made Eddie see stars anyway.

Eddie didn't care what he was. He loved Buck and Tommy and they loved him back and that's all that mattered to him.

[fabuladorah]

MY THOUGHTS ON DBDA SHIPS NO ONE ASKED BUT I DONT GIVE A DAMN:

Paynland: sue me but I dont think they would work as a traditional couple. They'll kiss once a week AT BEST. Nothing will change when Charles realizes his feelings, except for maybe pet names and also now Charles understand that Edwin's lap is a synomin to chair, no more desk sitting unfortunetaly.

Cryland: GIRL! I got so many thoughts on these two cant even share 'em all, but to keep it short, queerplatonic with kissing cuz they like it. Ill have to do a post just for them BECAUSE.

Palasaki: at first I thought something would happen between them (DAMN YOU PARASITES) but yeah now I prefer them as friends. Niko seems pretty uninterested in finding herself a partner, and I enjoy the besties dynamic.

Catwin: I hate it, but they should fuck at least once.

Payncrow (i guess?) : Monty, dear, you need to realize you were never even an option to begin with.

Kashi + Night Nurse: they should marry and retire to a cottage by the sea. Btw the wedding should be inside that whale.

Esther Finch + Tragic Mick: I like it cuz its funny, but overall no, but maybe yes. And you can't deny that they'd be a hella good looking couple.

That said, Jenny and Maxine are the real ones/ j

[never-forget-viva-la-pluto]

To the SPN fans that are hating on good omens rn bc of the leak, I hope you choke. I've seen some really nasty shit today from some of my (now unfollowed) followers whom I followed for spn content. So let's make one thing clear from actual posts ive seen today:

-Saying that the "wrong angels kissed", is...homophobic. I was with destiel from beginning to end and yeah we were completely shafted, but it's not okay to then say that other gay couples in media aren't allowed to kiss just because they aren't the ones you thought were hot. Jesus christ didn't think I needed to write that one down for ya-bo burnham

-I saw so much fatphobia about how Castiel deserved a kiss more than Aziraphel bc "he has far more sex appeal." Wtf wtf wtf. How do you live with yourselves saying that shit?You can pry Micheal Sheens body type Aziraphel out of my cold dead hands, you CW brainwashed morons!

-hate against the author for some reason, no one is willing to give specifics about it, but I think the majority of them maintain that GO is not good rep because they didn't kiss and now they are claiming pandering or something? Honestly that guy has only ever stood with the writers guild and queer people his whole career from what I find so I don't think it's fair whatever hate they are spouting. He isnt even saying he is upset with fans that saw or shared the video. Hes being super nice about it!

-I will say, non of us SPN fans have a fucking leg to stand on when it comes to hating something bc of the authors, OK. I saw someone saying the writing for spn was better and I can say you did not watch the show. I loved spn but don't do the late Terry Pratchett like this. He did nothing wrong

-on that same ish strain, as an ace person who thrives off queerplatonic relationships in media, maybe they kiss, I dunno. I just have to wait until the season comes out. Not 1 SPN fan gets to bitch about GO asexualty rep when SPN never even tried that route with any of its characters. But also ace characters are allowed to kiss, so you can write them that way of you want and interpret them that way if you want still. This is your viewing experience.

-this leak is truly not the same as the SPN yo a ti leak, solely bc the episode hasn't aired yet. "None of you GO fans would have survived the yo a ti leak." No I think you wouldn't bc the spn leak was clinging to an already mangled straw, while the angel's in GO are queer already. Queer queer queer and no amount of kissing or lack thereof is going to change that. We have no idea what happens in that episode of GO, but we saw the creators butcher the only moment in the show that could have meant anything real for queer viewers in SPN.

-"SPN crowly was kissing dudes first so this one is not that impressive". I see two cakes. One was made with the intent to make gay people look evil, but over time got kinda funny and a little better bc gay people liked it, and the other was about telling an interesting story about how love is so important, especially at the end of the world, and gay people liked that one too! So for me it's YaY two cakes!

-again the anti aziraphel is so plainly just fatphobia. You have no excuses. Sorry you don't think someone who looks like a slightly chubby micheal sheen could ever get kissed by someone who looks like David tennant, but you are not only wrong, you are also childish.

OK I'm done. Go watch good omens s2 when it comes out for my fucking sanity please. Or don't if all you are going to do is try to rip it apart like you do to all media that tries to be better.

[mentally-disabled]

as an aroace, i dont understand the point or concept of marriage very well. to me its like making a contract with someone to be/live with them for the rest of your life?? if i ever actually got married, even in a queerplatonic way, that aint workin out for me, i would divorce them in less than a year. i need my space and i would just get sick of any partner (platonic or romantic).

also it's funny because when i was younger, i didnt like the idea of being married, even if i did have a crush on anyone. i didnt like the thought of marrying them and being with them for the rest of my life, or even doing things like kissing them or whatever else people do. there was literally one exception, just one, and i only even wanted to like, hug or hold hands.

and after a while i stopped getting crushes or the urge to get to know someone or talk to someone and i was like "why??" and then i sort of realized that the thought of me being with someone just disgusted me in a way that if something like that crosses my mind for no good reason, i visibly cringe. like no.

and as an aroace who isnt out to their family, i am genuinely scared of when and if they'll start saying things like "you'll find someone eventually" when i dont get a partner by the time im in like, college because i know my anxiety aint letting me come out before then. and like, i do not want to have deal with shit like that. it will only make me feel more pressured to come out to them as aroace, and i feel like they have acknowledged (mostly my sister) LGBTQ+ sexualities and saying that they don't really gaf who i get with or marry or something, but they havent really acknowledged the fact that, maybe i dont want to be with someone, and i genuinely feel that they will just be disappointed if decide i dont want anyone. now, i feel like that would be mostly on my mom's part because she has been with so many people and been in so many failed relationships that i feel like she'll just be disappointed that she doesnt see me in a successful relationship. i don't think my sister will really care as much, she'd just be like "hell yeah, don't need someone else to be happy ehehehe."

and like i just dont get it. i dont get why the social norm is to date or marry or even just crush on someone. i dont get the reason and i dont get how people "fall in love" or get the urge to talk to someone attractive. i dont think that aros or aces get a lot of good rep either, and i dont understand why. just because they may not be interested in anyone romantically or intimately doesnt mean they dont have feelings or cant love. i love my family (mostly😐) and my friends, just platonically.

thanks for reading my rant

[nylongenesis]

Im just rambling my heart out rn bc im like this but listen hear me out. I think Tim is aromantic. hot take I know but as an aro person maybe its just me but I see a lot of myself in his flirty chatter and playful gestures. In my head he does it as affection, as a way to stretch his wings and engage in a bit of fun banter, and of course, to get what he needs. I inherently see his tendency to draw the eye of people in order to obtain information as a gesture rather detached from the inherent concept of romanticism. it displays a nature in which one understands romance and appeal on a surface level, but does not feel it themselves. I think he likes traditionally romantic stuff. He calls himself a hopeless romantic. He kisses his friends on the cheeks and he treats Sasha as a lover would treat their spouse but they are not dating and both of them know this. He spends passionate nights with people and leaves feeling satisfied. But if you confessed romantic interest in him he would give you a horrifically awkward, apologetic look and let you down easy. I think he was devastated by the realization in his youth. I think beneath all his affection and smiles and toying remarks he knows he will never truly be able to have the romantic relationship he always dreamed of having, because what he desires simply does not exist. I think he indulges in the little things- passing glances, playful flirts, romantic comedies, nights on the town, to taste what he cannot have- and even moreso, to enjoy what he *can* have. To enjoy the fact he can do so comfortably, openly, without concern for what it may look like or if it's really romantic or not. Perhaps he has grown to be happy with the way he lives. Perhaps he is content to be in his lovely queerplatonic relationship. Perhaps he distantly wishes he could be a better partner because he knows he will never meet the standard. I think he loves so strongly, so powerfully, that it simply is not something that could fall into romance. It just isn't. But he loves all the same. He loves so passionately, like a fire, but it is not romance. it is simply love. Tl;dr personal hc is that tim is romance-positive aro (unless it comes to romance aimed at him) and is bisexual. Bc we need more alloaro rep. and more romance-positive aro rep. And i see myself in him.

[sinkableruby]

on ougi tease flirts (araragi edition)

(also interjecting here this bit is a lot funnier in japanese. ougi is like "you're gonna be fallen in love with by me you know!" "uh" "it's gonna suck for you if i fall in love with you you know!"

like she's warning him. it's very funny to me

this from the onimonogatari commentary track is also significant:

now. nadeko says "too" (も) but when ougi replies she doesn't use that particle, instead saying 私は. は is the topic marker, so what ougi is saying is kind of like "well, as for me, i like araragi senpai." it's a subtle distinction ougi's making from her and nadeko here.

also, the translation for the next part is actually wrong here!

if you listen closely, ougi says GAKE, not KAGE. ougi does not say "i adore him from his shadow to his back," ougi says: お慕い申し上げているよ崖から背中を押したいくらい

which literally translates to "I adore him to the point I want to push his back off a cliff."

which sounds very scary and deranged.

and is. ougi wants to push araragi off a cliff. this is literally what she is saying. nadeko's "adore?" ("おしたいって。。。") should probably actually translate to "you want to push him...?" (they're homonyms) because ougi is being deranged and insane. she's so real tbh she only gets realer

but the idea of 背中を押す (to push one's back) in this case is also like, pushing someone forward, cheering them on. giving them the push they need to succeed. so, ougi wants to push araragi to where he needs to go, while also severely hurting him in the process. classic jeerleader ougi move

adore "慕う" is like... love dearly, adore, but can also be kind of like worship, honor, revere, idolize-- fitting because ougi is a big fan. she also says it very politely, because of course she is nothing but a polite and respectful kouhai. :)

but to me all this indicates ougi's feelings are something more platonic than romantic-- or maybe it's more like queerplatonic. ougi flirts teasingly but its not really meant to be taken as anything more than just that, a joke, hence ougi's strange almost non-sequitur response to nadeko's reaction. in other words, i think araragi is probably right on the mark when he says ougi is just teasing (or being malicious. never forget that a lot of (maybe even most of) what ougi does and says is criticism. it's entirely possible she's mocking him). though whether ougi would truly mind kissing araragi or not is left a mystery... what can be said for sure, though, is that she loves him very much.

[crossoverfamily]

I'm reading and having feels so I wanted to make a post about Peter&Morgan, and a bit of Morgan with the rest of the crossover family. And a bit on Peter, Morgan, Tony and Pepper once Peter&Morgan return to their origin world.

Note: if you don't already know, this blog features Starker, and as Morgan's existence suggest, I do acknowledge canon aka Tony&Pepper were together, but I also write that, during their marriage, it turned queerplatonic then platonic, so they're not together anymore by the time Tony&Peter get together!

I decided to not settle down for a specific idea of when Peter and Morgan interact again after NWH, only that it ends up happening. And when Peter starts to work with Soul to launch the Rewind spell (which of course I wanted to speak of these two before I even explained what exactly Peter is doing that led him to being flung out his origin world), that is when he will have Morgan with him.

The reason is that her soul is attached to his. The Rewind will make time go back prior to her birth, and Soul will handle all the souls of everyone in the same case, but Peter wanted to personally care for Morgan's soul. But when they land in Link's world, she's actually able to be given physical presence, although she is still a soul.

Peter never tries to replace either of her parents, although neither of them speaks of each other as siblings. It's more so external people that can view them as such, but Peter&Morgan call each other family. "Dad/daddy" and "mom/mommy" are the terms she use for Tony and Pepper, so when she first calls him a parental term, her mind settles on "mamma". Fun hc: Morgan knowing what she's doing when she says "I have two mom and one dad!". But also fluffy: "There's my dad, there's my mom, and there's mamma who was there for me when dad and mom weren't able to".

Where Peter is like family and a parent to Morgan, the other four are like brothers to her and they happily call her their little sister. And there's a wide extended family, brothers and sisters in the sages, and Zelda, and Gan (name TotK!Ganondorf prefer to use since he's his own person now). I don't know yet where it comes from, but I also love the idea that everyone starts to call Morgan "little princess".

I mentioned earlier that Morgan is still a soul, just physically present, and she isn't the only one in that kind of situation. Ireth and Wei Wuxian both arrive without their body, as kind of spirit/soul. Them, and Morgan, stays as this kind of physical spirit/soul, as the crossover family figure out that, while they can give each of them a proper body back, they need to make it happen in their respective origin world.

So please now imagine when Peter&Morgan go back to their origin world, and imagine Tony's face when he discovers that, not only is Morgan not gone, Peter is kind of carrying her within his own soul, and he'll be able to pretty much give birth to her spiritually once he has the proper means to. I don't know which is better: that it happens before, or after they get together. Or that's how they get together, because Tony goes so feral with adoration that he just has to kiss Peter.

Make no mistake though: everyone will still treat Pepper as Morgan's mother. But now? She's able to say "I have two mom!" much more literally than she used to. Which is another thought: imagine Tony's face the first time Morgan calls Peter "mamma". Even better if its after Tony knows Morgan is still there (and she can actually still show up with a physical presence), but before he learns that Peter has a way to make her "be born" again. Maybe Peter didn't want to give false hope until he's certain? And/or it's because he'll have to explain about the crossover aspect and there are reasons to wait about that reveal, and so, the reveal that Morgan can have her own body back?

But yeah, imagine Tony's face if Morgan is able to show up, first by the sheer fact his daughter is still here, then by the whole fact she calls Peter "mamma" and also the sheer witnessing of how Peter&Morgan act together. Maybe that's when Tony is certain his feelings did become romantic? And then his face when Peter reveals that he kind of is able to spiritually give birth to Morgan so she has her own body back. And that's when they kiss for the first time.

Also that's like, need to be a whole post of its own, but Tony&Pepper do remember the old future, but I write them as growing queerplatonic during their marriage which discussions of seeing once Morgan is older if they want to have a friendly divorce or just stay as they are (either way they know they will always be there for each other), so when they find themselves in the past, they decide to not pursue a committed relationship.

However, everyone still very much views Pepper as Morgan's mother, and she's still part of Morgan's life, and Peter&Pepper gets along very well. Like mentioned, its a whole post of its own waiting to happen, since Peter&Pepper grew close after Tony's death and had discussions about how Peter's loss affected Tony, and the way Tony's loss had a similar effect on Peter (in short: they lived through the saying "you don't know how much someone means to you until you loose them").

So yeah, Peter&Morgan are family, Peter&Pepper are family, and Tony is forever awed that he was given such a happy ending: all his loved ones, alive and happy, and he's here with them, and to see his daughter grow up.

(Note: I did consider polyamory aka Tony being with both Peter and Pepper, however I personally wanted to explore this specific route of Tony&Pepper turning queerplatonic then platonic, and mirroring that, Tony&Peter growing from platonic mentorship to queerplatonic friendship to romance).

[thisvegetabledoesntfallinlove]

Isn't Ike gay coded tho?

you've activated my trap card, I could talk about Ike's queer coding for hours so TLDR for those who don't want to read a text wall about some jrpg character they don't know, Ike is queer-coded, and both gay and aro Ike are perfectly valid readings of the text.

Ike's pretty universally agreed to be queer-coded. most of his coding falls into the "complete lack of attraction (to women)" area. (for instance, completely rejecting Aimee's advances and being generally uncomfortable with her seeing him in that light, or his utter disinterest in admiring pretty ladies with Gatrie.) because its coding (ie subtext) and not canon (ie textually stated) there's a level of interpretation required. there's a number of queer men that fit the specific divergence from heteronormativity that is "not interested in relationships with women." mostly gay men and aspec men.

one can easily read his relationship with Soren, for instance, as being romantic, because of some tropes present that are usually reserved for romance only in fiction. (for instance, his ending where he runs away with Soren is usually cited as being the closest Ike gets to a fire emblem protagonist's typical marriage ending.) but a stated-platonic relationship that's more important and committed than friendships are usually depicted as also pretty easily maps onto aromantic experiences of anti-amatonormative friendships and queerplatonic relationships, which leads his dynamic with Soren to be an extra check on the aro-coding list as well. actually, his relationship with Soren has less romantic framing than his relationship with Elincia, (which has similar amounts of More Committed Than Friendships (are usually depicted as) as well as multiple instances of characters commenting on its romantic subtext (shinon "you fell in love with a pretty little princess" and Ranulf "oh what a romantic atmosphere") which Ike doesn't respond to, and doesn't clarify on.) despite this, Ike and Elincia are pretty widely regarded as textually platonic, since they never do anything expressly romantic like kiss or confess attraction or get married or something, and if it was meant to be romantic they would've because there wouldn't have been any reason to encode a M/F romance. in my opinion, his relationship with Elincia kind of sets a bar for how committed, close and romance-adjacent his platonic relationships get, and none of his relationships with men really exceed that besides maybe Soren, who he's closer to but not more romantically framed than.

all in all, his coding leans heavily into the "confirmed bachelor" kind of queer, without giving much clarification on his attraction or lack thereof to men. what's important is that he's not interested in women romantically. so he's definitely queer-coded, but not down to a specific label. just a general vibe that gay and aromantic men share. both readings are supported by the texts, both groups have been known to relate to and project upon him, and there's room for both interpretations in fandom spaces.

[azems-familiar]

okay, okay, under the cut: a loose conglomeration of lore about my Warrior of Light. aka my best attempt at summarizing the key emotional beats of five expansions, which is not a summary at all, and also giving a brief overview of my Azem

Warrior of Light

(art by outheros)

(art by mythlorn)

Name: Lelesu Lesu

Age: 27 during Endwalker, 22 at the start of ARR

Pronouns: she/her

Classes: red mage, sage (dabbled in marauder and white mage before drifting away from them for various reasons)

Relationships: Haurchefant (briefly), Aymeric; queerplatonic with Emet-Selch and Hythlodaeus

some lore about her:

Lelesu was born in Ul'dah and grew up as part of the wealthy merchant-noble class that makes up its high society. She absolutely despised the neat box of a life her parents tried to keep her in, and ended up sort-of running away from home to join the Adventurers' Guild in Limsa Lominsa, cutting all ties with her blood family and picking up adventuring and an axe to strike out on her own, in search of the freedom to define her own life. She joins up with the Scions willingly, happy to help make a difference, especially when it becomes obvious that she's one of a handful of people capable of facing primals, but it doesn't become really personal until the massacre at the Waking Sands, where she loses most of the first people she genuinely called friends.

She gets pretty close with Haurchefant while they're in Coerthas the first time, and in the aftermath of becoming the Warrior of Light she treasures that connection because it's one of the few places she doesn't feel like she has to be the responsible, duty-bound Hero version of herself the WoL is. Even with, maybe especially with tbh, the other Scions there's that sort of distance between them, because they're her friends and her coworkers but they also expect the same sort of miracles out of her as the rest of Eorzea, through no fault of their own.

She's actually furious with Midgardsormr when he removes the blessing of Light. Has no interest in proving herself to him at first, because she blames him for Nabriales breaching the Rising Stones, which of course led to Moenbryda's death. Eventually the blame shifts to herself instead - she feels like if she'd been stronger, she wouldn't have lost the blessing to begin with. This is a theme that comes back during Heavensward, too - she was a white mage before she picked up red mage, and so when Haurchefant (who she was very much in love with) throws himself in front of that spear for her, she's the one who tries to heal him, and she fails. In some ways, she blames the loss of the blessing of Light and her own weakness for his death. If she'd just been stronger, been a better Warrior of Light, etc, then he wouldn't have died. And he should've known better than to try to protect her, Hydaelyn wouldn't have let her die. Etc.

For a while here she completely stops using white magic entirely, which is a problem - red mage is all about balance, using white and black magic equally, and without drawing on both kinds of power you can't perform certain abilities, plus it has a whole mechanic where the further off-balance you get the harder it is to cast in the opposite direction and fix yourself. So she's off-balance in her aether, and that makes her even more reckless and emotionally off-balance, and she's struggling to grieve and sort of stuck living in the moment of Haurchefant's death, which makes her quest against Thordan a kind of revenge quest. She isn't really able to start learning to move forward again and recovering from that loss until she spends a bunch of time helping Aymeric build the new peace in Ishgard and teach the people to move on from their broken past, and that slowly leads her to work through her pain and trauma over the months.

Stormblood is...not really very much in the way of character development, but it is where she kisses Aymeric for the first time, just before she leaves to go to Doma, so it gets an honorable mention.

On the other hand a lot of insanity happens in Shadowbringers. She gets a nice new facial scar courtesy of Elidibus-as-Zenos when G'raha summons her out of her body during that fight (Aymeric is Deeply Freaked Out). Once she's in the First, she's dealing with a whole lot of confusing emotions and instincts related to Emet-Selch - her first impression when they properly meet is both that it hurts to look at him, for some inexplicable reason, and also wariness, the kind you'd have for a rabid animal, because there's just something so Wrong to her about the way he acts. This goes along nicely with the instinct she has to trust him that also makes no sense, so she's running around trying to save two worlds from the same calamity while dealing with the most confusing emotional state ever. This doesn't get much better when she gives in and starts spending time asking him questions and just talking to him, in a way the rest of the Scions won't do, because he feels familiar to her, like she should recognize him but can't.

This gets a thousand times worse when she drags her shattering soul down to Amaurot-beneath-the-sea to rescue G'raha, feeling like an absolute failure of a Warrior of Darkness the whole time. Amaurot itself feels incredibly familiar to her and also makes her want to cry because of the immense feelings of loss it evokes, she's already attuned to the aetheryte in the depths (I do not care if this is lore-appropriate or not it's fun), she feels like she knows Hythlodaeus, by the time they confront Emet-Selch again she's half-demanding half-begging him for answers he won't give because he's deep in denial and also wants her to remember him herself. She breaks down crying when she's forced to kill him in the end and doesn't know why.

Endwalker is just....A Fucking Mess. She's so done with Zenos's shit, her duty keeps weighing her down, everything is horrible. The body-swap bit really messes with her for a while and it takes time to recover from. Plus the whole thing with Zodiark - she didn't want to kill Zodiark, just weaken Him so the Watcher could bind Him again. She didn't want to permanently kill all those souls! She recovers bits and pieces of memories whenever she uses Azem's crystal to summon people, enough to be able to tell Emet-Selch, Hythlodaeus, and Venat that she is a reincarnation of Azem, but she doesn't regain her memories in full until Ultima Thule, when she summons Emet-Selch and Hythlodaeus to help her against Meteion at the end. With those memories regained she's able to convince the two of them to stay with her and give the future a try; moving on is something none of them knew how to do before but she's had to learn to live through grief and come to terms with it anyway and she wants desperately to show them both how as well.

She considers Ishgard her home, and the Fortemps family as her chosen family - she's actually sworn brotherhood with Artoirel. And she considers herself Azem still, in the terms of Azem is a duty to the people that she has believed in basically since she became the Warrior of Light, and she won't let go of it.

In the final fight with Zenos at Ultima Thule, she very nearly dies, and he breaks her glasses against her face, severely injuring her right eye, among other things. Though she doesn't lose the eye it ends up solid white from scar tissue and she's completely blind in it - but she does end up learning how to see the aether through that eye alone.

Azem

(art by mythlorn)

Name: Seleukos

Class: black mage, has training with a sword thanks to Venat

Pronouns: they/them

Age: ohhh man idk probably somewhere around a century by the Sundering? don't ask

Relationships: queerplatonic triad with Hythlodaeus and Emet-Selch

if i get into my lore about them we'll be here all day so just read this fic I wrote full of the important flashbacks and whatnot instead

i also have a very fleshed-out AU where Lelesu is the WoL alongside @sunderedazem's Corrain, but this post will turn monstrous if i go into ANY details about that. so just know it exists and we'll both answer asks about it. lol

[strawbubbysugar]

Okay so because I’m normal I imagine being in a relationship with June/Hello/Goodbye sometimes for funsies (I can’t help it they’re just so good and coolllll) but i was wondering something-

I’m aroace and on the large spectrum of aroace, I’m the type who’s not really interested in kissing or anything further/more intimate than that if you get what I mean so I’m curious as to how the trio would react to that? Would they be willing to be in a relationship with someone like that? (Maybe a Queer Platonic Relationship for example?)

I’ve been told that not being to kiss or woohoo (thank you sims for that replacement word haha) is apparently a dealbreaker for a lot of people so that just made me wonder about the trio and how they’d handle someone they love being like that

Thank you and have a good morning/afternoon/evening!

Hgfhs thats so sweet!!

I imagine that if its the right person who's a perfect fit & they cant imagine their lives without, yeah of course!

Being ace isnt a deal breaker for any of them, though Hello would likely not really understand the diff between being very good friends & being queerplatonic

No matter what tho, love and support <3

[milo-the-professional-yapper]

Hello! about your malevolent ask

[long ass answer- many apologies]

its a slightly goofy, sort of horror soap opera, in the vein of call of cthulu/tma. I dont find it Super Scary, but idk what your milage for horror is.

The overarching plot is drivin by the patrions (sp sorry), in the style of a choose your own adventure novel- you can usually tell where the choices are; it'll be something like 'omg arthur, we're at a crossroads- do we go left, to the evil cavern (where the horrors live) or right, to the evil woods (more horrors).' You can also hear more overt RPG stylings in the beginning- dice roll sounds for perception checks, etc. These do fade out after the first season.

Rough outline (some spoilers): John (a spirit/demon type guy) possesses Arthur (a detective from Arkham MA) and, in doing so, takes over his eyes. Now Arthur must navigate the world with only the guidance of the voice in his head. Horrors unfold, walls are walked into the boys are in their get-along consciousness. Think venom, if both of them were way bitchier and prone to swearing. and also eddy was blind.

IS IT GAY: Yes and no. If its a friendship, its really intense- but cannonicaly it has been very firmly stated that they are just friends. However, the relationship is intertwined and deep enough that many people consider it to be queerplatonic- Arthur being aromantic is a very popular interpretation, if that sweetens the pot for you (idk how loosely you're using gay here). Glib answer: its pretty queer, but no kissing.

COOL STUFF:

-A dramatic, intense relationship between a guy and the dude who lives in his head. They argue ( my god how they argue) they make up, they argue again.

-The saddest little english man (arthur) gets chucked off cliffs multiple times. Do you like men whimpering? This is the podcast for you!

-Very impressive voice acting: the writer voices absolutely everyone in the podcast (yes. everyone) and its genuinely almost unnoticeable. You really do have to have it pointed out to you.

-Fun, slightly campy (in the way of an rpg campaign) Lovecraft style horror

-Lovely piano soundtrack

-A gentleman called the butcher shows up in- what season 3? maybe?- and I adore him. Go singing irishman go. You get that violent homoeroticism.

Drawbacks:

Again, I don't really know your taste, but these are some of the things that might turn someone off from listening. YMMV etc.

-LOUD. If you dont like gentlemen yelling DIRECTLY AND ANGRILY INTO THE MIC then this is not for you. If you do like that, then you are about the have the time of your life. There is also just. An incredible amount of panting/heavy breathing. Also directly into the mic, and at length. Like, an 'i am secretly watching gay pornography' amount. I had it going on a speaker once and my roommate had questions, kind of amount

-Almost no women characters: understandable, since a dude is voicing Literally Everyone- but it is something of a sausage fest. Women exist in universe, they just tend to move in the backround/be unvoiced. Lots of 'oh heres whats happened to her' sort of describing around the 'I can't voice a woman' issue. One old lady has a few voice lines and thats it.

-Kind of a soap: This is a draw for me ngl, but if you are looking for TMA 2: the magnusing- she isn't it. Its a LOT lighter than tma, writing wise, and isnt exactly hitting any crazy new twists in its plot (if you've read Any lovecraftian stuff you probably wont be super surprised by anything)BUT. Its still very fun. Two dudes sharing a body, detective roadship shenanigans. They might kiss! Might see some skinned bodies or something.

The dynamics can be a lil repetative (wake up break up back together) and the plot can be a little- ehhhh. due to it being yk, patrion controlled- but that can be fun- it's pretty heavily a choose your own adventure story at heart, so if your down with that (and the sillyness that comes with it) then you'll like it.

-Gore: pretty gory. I enjoy that sort of thing/ am not really effected by it BUT if that not your cup of tea, then you might wanna skedaddle.

🤠 thats all. Again, apologies for the very long answer.

First off- don’t apologize! This gave me everything I needed- thank you for the detailed answer to my question! Looks like I’m giving this podcast a listen- everyone wish me luck 😭

[multidimensional-trashcan]

No don't apologize for the Stucky stuff! I only watched Endgame once in the cinema because it pissed me off so much.

And I just did it again expecting to maybe be a little more forgiving. But NO I am still pissed off mainly because of this part...

same for me! watched endgame once and it pissed me off sooo much. im not sure whether i watched it ever again but im sure that in the future i definitely wont! and y'know for me its not even about shipping them (tho i do somewhat in the sense of i love their dynamic and want to see more of it no matter whether platonic, queerplatonic (or romantic)). but in the movies it is shown that there is no one more important to steve than bucky (man didnt want to fight against him although he was brainwashed and ready to kill him) and bucky literally broke 70 years of mind control for steve (and you dont just establish such a beautiful line as 'til the end of the line' in one movie and then betray that sentiment). they literally love each other! but for some reason people cant fathom platonic love (which it is in canon) greater than romantic love so they think if given the choice steve would go back to peggy. which is the direct opposite of what the three captain america movies showed us! he moves on! he learns she had a happy life, he goes to her funeral for fs sake! he kisses her niece (also dumb ass move of the directors guess they thought it would make people stop shipping stucky or whatever, hate that they basically just included sharon for love interest reasons). and in endgame hes been in the present for about 11 years! thats double the time he knew peggy in the 40s. and he. moves. on. (sorry it annoys me that they just ignored the whole character development). also the same goes for peggy. while she still was pretty one-dimensional love interest like in the movies, the series about her finally did something with her besides being the woman captain america likes. and she also. moved. on! and then they just erased all that, booted the series out of canon and just made her a cardboard-cut love interest again! ugh. also someone please tell me how it makes sense that Steve Rogers, the man that searched 2 years for Bucky without knowing whether hed find him and who fought out a civil war (at least partially) for him, would just sit around in the 50s while knowing that bucky was being tortured by hydra right now. he just wouldnt. thats so completely out of character i wanna scream! oh god this is long. anyway once again:

STEVE AND BUCKY'S LOVE FOR EACH OTHER IS CANON! AND JUST BECAUSE STEVE LOVED (yes ill say loved see 'he moved on') PEGGY ROMANTICALLY THAT DOESNT MEAN ITS MORE IMPORTANT OR GREATER THAN HIS LOVE FOR BUCKY. SAME GOES FOR IF HE STILL LOVED HER! THIS IS TRUE IN REAL LIFE TOO! PLATONIC LOVE IS NOT AUTOMATICALLY LESSER THAN ROMANTIC LOVE! THIS ALSO MEANS THAT 'THERES NO OTHER EXPLANATION THAN ROMANCE FOR STUCKY IS ALSO WRONG'. YES YOU CAN HEADCANON THEM AS ROMANTIC BUT IT IS NOT THE ONLY EXPLANATION.

and yes im aware that even with steve staying in the present, steve and bucky's relationship would still have been sidelined in favour of a romantic, straight (its marvel what are we expecting) one. i guess thats what i mean when i say im shipping them. they are made for each other ('its difficult to find someone with shared life experience' -> bucky shows up, god i love this) and their relationship is one of the most important in their lifes (if not the most) and relationships with other people (romantic, platonic, queerplatonic or other) would not change anything about that. but marvel (and lets be real the people watching) dont see this. so i have something to rant about for days :)

[woopeee]

like. like. majormoon yaoi anon once again hiiii

but like. like. where do i even start, ive explained this ship so many times to sm ppl. its hard to keep track of where the start of the explanation would be-

Imma start by covering up Life Series concepts here... will get into Empires and a funny AU i have later on... NOTE: i JUST realized seasons go autumn -> winter not winter -> autumn, so lets just imagine either its the other way around for some reason or maybe the games happen across different years or the watchers use time shenanigans n stuff IDK!!

Last Life: cottagecore queers. they started as friends, sure, they're best friends, but best friends who kiss, hold hands, cuddle together, cook together, stick to eachother like glue istg. AND I REPEAT !! KISS!! SURE SMALL PECKS BUT THATS NOT VERY FRIEND LIKE !! ive read many queerplatonic galaxy duo fanfics, but i think they're just romantically crushing on eachother and w time their relationship quickly escalated and neither of them wants to ask the big "what are we?" question. (plus, I hc every season of the series happens in a different season of the year, maybe in different years?? idk cause i didnt count for 3rd life but i dont think it would count as spring... ANYWAYS Last Life happens in Summer, for angst purposes)

Double Life: I don't wanna talk too much abt their relationship in DL cus it makes me so mentally ill, reminds me of sum personal lore in my life I wont get into, but I still love em. I hc soulmates have some shared features w their soulmates, different for everyone, like these two have the ends of their hair the color of the others hair. after the "divorce" Pearl tried to cut off that teal part but the ends just gew upwards, like the teal part just appeared in his new ends when moon cut off the old ones, so at the end he just used red dye to dye em red. Also I feel like they lowkey miss eachother even if both are too stubborn to talk to eachother and at least try to fix things. (winter. winter freezes. often killing all that in summer grew green)

Limited Life: Oh hoh ho... the drama is back but the toxicity is gone. frienemies, exes, a bit petty still but can joke about it for a lil, have forgiven eachother but at times still feel resentment. they live very far away, yet when they interact in person, if things are 1o1 and there isnt any of their allies nearby, gosh can the tension be cut with a knife. not only tension in the way or anger, but sometimes just being awkward around eachother, sometimes homosexual tension, sometimes homoerotic tension- (half joke, i wont talk abt nsfw stuff but theyre adults). They stare at eachother from across the room thinking either "i wanna punch you so bad" or "i would so go and kiss you right here right now", or both. However theyre still fairly friendly, its not the same as *Our Last Summer*, since they'll maybe pull petty pranks on eachother, specially the Nosy Neighbors on Mean Gills, with Pearl mostly having Scott's ever so slightly upset reaction, if even to get a groan or frown from him, tho he doesnt hate her anymore, its not like winter, thats in the past. Autumn comes and makes leafs fall... it gets rid of the dead waste of what winter killed, preparing for Spring...

Secret Life: ... for a new beginning. Spring comes along, a new, more lighthearted game at the start. After going through so much stuff together, everything they've overcome, "That's in the past" "It was a one time thing?" "Yeah, yeah" "Well, I'm glad we agree... glad we can move past that". And they start again, blank page, althrough clearly stained by past moments, they can look back at them fondly and joke around about it without hard feelings. Not only that, but they finally make up their minds, both of them get their shit together and can finally label their relationship, make it official... tho whats a game about secrets without some secrets of their own? So at first, with a bit of fear of what their allies would say, but also just in a way to keep privacy and get a laugh out of others confusions, they meet up in secret. Secret meetings at night or when their allies are out, whispering to eachother and giving eachother accomplice looks, finding hiden spots to sit down and talk. They're plenty suspicious in plain sight, but with all the reasons there could be for them to be hiding something? Maybe theyre up to no good! Maybe they're plotting destruction! Maybe its got to do with their tasks! Yeah, it drives the yellows mad in particular, trying to guess their tasks just to be told it couldnt be further from correct or that they already complited theirs. Now some participants are a bit oblivious, but others can put 2 and 2 together pretty quickly... they'd keep their mouths shut tho, cause seeing the others lose their mind trying to uncover their "plans" is quite the funny sight. Maybe some would get a push like a little knudge from Cleo "They're dating, Bdubs" "... OHHHH, SO THATS WHY". The Roomies all know for sure, Impulse suspects, to Gem and the Mounders it never crossed their minds, unsure about others tbh but thats what I know for sure. But yeah! Maybe at first they'd have a "Bad Idea" (from Waitress) moment, tho that song also could fit an ""afair"" in LimL from what ive talked with a friend, but yeah. They're destined to die anyways, since the finale means only one can win, and that winner is neither of them, but they'll meet in the next game. Tilly next time. Or, Tilly death does them part...

... except not, cause not even death can do that, cause they are able to find eachother in every single universe, no matter the circumstances, even if their situation isnt ideal in some, they're always together, in one way or another. MajorMoon yaoi anon dropping the anon. Shameless Scottearl posting today!! Let's go rom Galaxy Duo Truthers!!!

Youre getting your own tag /silly

[authorofdragons]

Acespec Comic Share!

Hi! Haven't been on in a hot minute but I'm Dragons, an agender aroace creator and i make the comic Skull & Pyro on webtoon and tapas, featuring two aroace queerplatonic husbands committing crimes and becoming a problem for everyone around them 💙🤍💛🧡 We got Bonehill the edgy intellectual who’s too tired to be an intellectual, and Zerako the sweetheart pyromaniac. They love headbonking like cats and cuddling and crimes 💕 Its a comedy fantasy adventure with minimal angst for thoust weary soul. Tis SFW, theres 1 brief kiss scene that half the readers didnt even realize was a kiss scene which is good bc i never plan on drawing one again BDJDJDKJDKDJ otherwise theres just a bunch of cussing and thats it.

Prompt: Share an old panel or page + a recent panel or page you’ve worked on

Here's panels from Chapter 1 Episode 3 (March 2020):

Then here's panels from Chapter 2 Episode 1 (July 2022):

finally Bonehill gained eyebrows and in general i got a better handle of Shapes and Color. also WOW I forget I started drawing Zerako's freckles really small,,,, now they are giant orbs SKDJFKSDJF the cool process of seeing character features simplify after drawing them 5349 times!!

I HAVENT BEEN ON IN A WHILE SO I DONT HAVE ANYONE NEW TO TAG SO ILL JUST PING MY USUAL BUDS @authorofthyme @ratonpersona @imstillgear and maybe more im forgetting im so sorry my brain has died. And check out @acesincomics who organizes this whole thing!

[aroaceconfessions]

so like,,, 2 or 3 months ago,,, I found out I was alterous thanks to me and my friend having a discussion abt whether or not I was in love with another friend of mine. bc each time they would keep telling me it's love,,, I always felt it was much more than that. sure,, I think abt her everyday,,, I want to be around her all the time,, see her everyday,, and do basic things like hug,, hold hands,, and MAYBE even kiss,, but I don't want to be in a romantic relationship with her. she's in fact in a relationship already. do I feel jealous abt it?? no,, but I can't help but to feel bad. bc she's in a 3 year online relationship that I'm sure she's happy and content with,, but here I am wanting things. in fact,,, im happy for her. now,, if we somehow got in a relationship,, I wouldn't mind it,,, but its not what I want. rather iffy abt labels as well as pda. bc I have a friend who I hold hands with a lot and stuff,,, but our relationship is purely sexual. I get rather uncomfortable when it comes to situations where I'm alone with a friend,, bc it feels like I date. which is why I prefer to be with a group of friends instead of one them. it's rlly annoying when ppl immediately assume I'm in a romantic relationship just bc I hang out with someone a lot or am touchy with them. I don't feel the need to be in a romantic relationship. I'm perfectly fine with the friemds I have. even so,, i still can't help but to want things from that one friend I have a mesh on. I am like,, 100% sure she sees me as purely platonic,,, which makes this even more frustrating. perhaps what I'm seeking is some form of a queerplatonic relationship,,, but idk if her partner would be fine with that at all. I'm thinking of telling her abt my mesh on her at some point,, I but i can't help but wonder if it's worth it :((

Submitted June 19, 2023