#maybe they did something super cool and they named the town after them

[imatekuani]

I was scrolling while semi-asleep, read a post titled headcannons about Amity Park and I thought it was someone shipping/marrying Amity Blight and Willow Park until I realized that I'm also part of the Danny Phantom fandom.

Now I can't unsee that the frikin hometown of ghost boy combines the name/surname of these two witches part of my current fixation.

[naughtyneganjdm]

Mine - Chapter 1

Story Summary: Joel Miller finds a woman in Jackson that is head over heels for him, but the trauma from his loss and past puts him in jeopardy of losing the one person he’s close to when he’s unable to show her the kind of love and affection she craves. Will he be able to change his ways or will he lose out to the charming newbie Negan in town? 

Characters: Joel Miller (The Last of Us), Negan (The Walking Dead), the reader (OC, third person), etc.

AO3 Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/45115177/chapters/113491984

Warnings: Swearing, smut, angst, etc.

Notes: I decided to do another cross over story with The Last of Us and The Walking Dead. This is based off The Last of Us universe and I’m starting this story before we actually get to see Jackson, so some of this is going based off the game a bit as well. I know this is different for me, but for some reason my brain was eager to write it. Y/N means your name or whatever name you want to use. This first chapter heavily focuses on Joel and Y/N’s relationship. Gif Credits: @tomshiddles & @jdmorganz​

A cool gust of wind made Y/N pull her jacket in closer to her body while she sat on the steps of her porch in Jackson. There was a sense of nervousness and panic flooding her veins. She wondered if maybe she was too early for her planned date. She couldn’t believe she was actually worrying about a date. It had been so long since she had been on one. Who knew that living in a time like this would actually give time for people to have dates. That’s what was nice about Jackson. It brought back to life the way things used to be. At least somewhat.

When Y/N was brought to Jackson after her group was found, she didn’t believe it at first. A small little town that was closed off and protected that had electricity? It was an amazing thought. One that made her question if it was real to begin with. The only thing about Jackson was that to make everything work everyone had to work hard. It made you appreciate everything all the more.

It had been quite some time since she had arrived in Jackson and it had already been pretty eventful. She had come just before Tommy was reunited with his brother Joel who had become the talk of the town. When Joel had returned after leaving the first time, he became an important staple to the town. With his knowledge of construction along with his wits about the world in general, people often looked to him. Y/N was one of the fortunate people that got to work with him frequently. Well, to her she was lucky. Many people acknowledged that he was important to the community, but he could come off rather unfriendly and unwelcoming to others. He was working hard to break down that wall that he had obviously built up over the years, but it was taking a lot out of him. But Y/N saw beyond that tough exterior. He was a man with a good heart that was super charming when given the chance. All it took was Y/N getting to see him interact with Ellie for her to know how she felt about him.

A moment of bravery led to her asking Joel out on a date earlier today. At first when she asked him, it seemed like he didn’t know how to respond. It visibly caught him off guard and it almost immediately made her regret asking him because she assumed he didn’t feel the same way about her which led to her apologizing profusely. The long pause from Joel when she asked just made her assume that Joel didn’t feel the same way, but he did his best to get her to calm down and agreed to going out with her for a drink at the local bar they had in Jackson.

It had Y/N excited, probably too excited. She tried on multiple outfits before finally deciding on something to wear. It wasn’t like she had a wide array of clothing since it was the apocalypse after all and there was only so much she could choose from. It was a colder night for them in Jackson so she had to end up wearing a coat anyways.

With the sun going down, she wondered if Joel was going to show up at this point and it made her worry. Maybe he didn’t want to go on this date and he didn’t want to make her feel bad at work earlier. Right when she was about to give up, she heard footsteps approaching and lifted her head to see Joel standing before her. He seemed nervous when he swallowed down loudly and tossed his hands up in the air.

“Sorry, I was uh…getting a peptalk,” Joel explained with an uneven breath pointing back toward the house that he lived in. His graying hair seemed more properly groomed than it usually was and he sighed loudly. “Ellie told me I should shower and put on something nice.”

“I’ll have to thank her,” Y/N winked making a flush of color flood into Joel’s cheeks when she carefully stood from the steps that she was sitting on to move across the yard to him. “You look good.”

“Oh, thanks,” Joel quickly looked down at what he was wearing and cleared his throat uneasily. It took a minute before he gazed over her and nodded. “So do you.”

“We both look like we’re ready for the cold,” she teased him reaching out to playfully touch his shoulder seeing the way he shifted on his feet. It was a bit of an awkward moment, but she just pointed in the direction they were supposed to go. “You ready?”

“Sure,” Joel waited for her to go first and then he stepped in beside her to follow her toward town. There was a long silence between the two of them and he licked his lips in a nervous sweep. “I won’t lie to you Y/N, it’s been a very long time since I’ve been on a date of some kind. I’m not very good at this. I’m not very outgoing.”

“That’s okay,” she assured him with a shrug of her shoulders. “I know you’re a man of a few words, but I find the mystery about you all the more appealing. It makes me look forward to the future when I get to pull information out of you.”

The way his chocolate brown eyes gazed over at her made her smile because it seemed to interest him with what she said, “I know I’m probably a mess and I will say stupid things tonight so I immediately apologize ahead of time.”

“No, you’re good,” Joel shook his head and gave a small smirk. It wasn’t often that Joel smiled or even smirked so it made her heart flutter inside of her chest seeing it. Under the faint glowing lights of the town, Y/N couldn’t helped but be charmed with the fact that Joel appeared to try to groom his facial hair as well. The gray hair looked good with his tanned flesh and she knew that she was swooning too hard right now. She needed to dial it back a bit. When they got to the bar, Joel put on that southern gentleman charm and held the door open for her. “Ma’am.”

“Thank you,” she gave him a wink and headed inside feeling the warmth of the building surrounding them. It was loud and she noticed the way it made Joel uncomfortable. Noticing an empty table in the corner, Y/N motioned Joel to follow her and felt herself in awe with the way he helped her into her seat before going to his. Joel pulled off his jacket to reveal his plaid button-down shirt that he had chosen to wear.

“I didn’t realize it was so loud here,” Joel spoke louder than normal, leaning forward toward the table to get her attention. “Then again, I don’t really come here often. I like…sticking to myself.”

“Well I’m glad you decided to come here with me,” she extended her hand out across the table to place her hand in over his for a moment. Joel’s eyes shifted to look at the gesture and she unhurriedly pulled her hand away. She was way too eager to touch him and maybe it looked pathetic so early in the date. “Hopefully we can get to know one another more.”

“I think I know you pretty well,” Joel informed her, getting more comfortable in the seat before gazing around the busier bar that the people of Jackson had come to in order to relax after a long day of work.

“Oh yeah?” she found herself more so focused on Joel while he was taking in the area surrounding them. Joel was used to being on edge from the stories she heard from Tommy about his brother. So it made sense that he would be taking in everything all at once. “What do you know about me?”

“Well, I know you’re a good worker. Reliable. Trustworthy. Kind,” Joel listed off some things that made her smile when his brown eyes finally connected with hers. “You listen to folks. You’re easy to work with. You make working enjoyable.”

“I’m glad you think all of those things about me,” she admitted seeing him nod and she let out a long sigh. There was a boost of laughter that drew Joel’s attention away from her and she almost damned that they picked here for their ‘date’. Looking toward the corner where the pool tables were, she saw a group of people having fun together and Joel grunted. “What?”

“A lot of people in town seem to like that Negan guy,” Joel grumbled under his breath making her smirk when Joel shook his head and he seemed to roll his eyes.

“Not a fan, huh?” she teased him noticing the way that Joel seemed uncomfortable in the chair before her.

“He’s just…loud,” Joel explained stealing another look in the direction of everyone that was there. Negan’s eyes lifted from the pool table that he was at to see that both Y/N and Joel were staring out at him. A large smile pressed in over Negan’s chiseled features when he waved. It immediately made Joel freeze up because he didn’t know how to respond to it. It took him seeing Y/N wave back out of the corner of his eye to realize that it was Y/N Negan was waving to. “You two know one another?”

“Yeah, we work together a lot,” Y/N answered Joel about the newer member of Jackson. “He’s funny. Has the mouth of a sailor, but I like him. He makes work interesting most days when things get boring.”

“Oh,” Joel seemed tense after she admitted that she knew Negan. “So you’re like everyone else that is charmed by him, huh? You find him attractive?”

“Sure, he’s a good-looking guy,” she commented with a shake of her head noticing the way that Joel tensed up upon hearing her say that. Was it too soon for her to be excited at the idea that he might be jealous to hear that? Because it sure looked like he was jealous hearing that she thought Negan was a good-looking man. “Although, I think he’s already taken.”

“Is he?” Joel suddenly seemed interested further in Negan and it made her smile. That was something she would have never pinned Joel for. Being a gossip. But she found it cute. “With who?”

“I don’t know, he talks about a girl named Morgan all the time,” she thought back on previous conversations watching Joel’s face scrunch up like he was thinking about who she was talking about.

“I don’t know any girls named Morgan here,” Joel confessed, gazing over at Negan again wondering if it was one of the woman by the pool table. Each person that was there, Joel knew their names so he was rather flustered.

“Oh, so you know all the women in Jackson?” she replied in a teasing tone making Joel turn his head back toward her in a moment of surprise. “Should I be jealous?”

“I just make it my job to know the people I’m surrounded by,” Joel admitted with a simple shake of his head. “Being here I’ve yet to meet a Morgan so I’m just curious.”

“So I don’t have anything to be jealous about?” she pushed further making Joel’s face scrunch up in amusement before shaking his head. “Joel Miller doesn’t take out all the girls on dates then?”

“Come on,” Joel snorted with a roll of his eyes. “Should I be worried about Negan? You’re telling me that if he wasn’t taken, you would be here with him right now, aren’t you?”

“Did I say that? I think I said he was an attractive man that was taken,” she pointed out with a wink making Joel tip his head to the side while he eyed her over. “He’s not really the guy I’ve had my eye on for a while. There is someone else I’m very interested in.”

With the way his eyebrow arched, it showed that Joel was interested, but he had still been so focused on the rest of the group that when Negan started to head in over toward them, it made him groan out in frustration.

“Oh shit, now that he’s spotted you…he’s comin’ over,” Joel tried to hide his face to a degree and it amused Y/N to see that Joel was so antisocial in that moment.

Letting out a rumble of annoyance, Joel shifted again and sat forward in his seat when Negan headed over toward the table looking down at the two of them, “Hey you two! You care to join us for a game? Everyone’s surprised to see you here big guy.”

“Didn’t realize I made such an impact,” Joel scoffed making both Negan and Y/N glance at him since Joel often drew the most attention of anyone in Jackson with the way people looked to him with his past along with his knowledge of everything. “I’m not all that interested.”

“Fair enough,” Negan chuckled looking down to Y/N with a big smile. “You finally got that date, huh?”

“Excuse me?” Joel’s southern drawl made Negan’s eyebrow arch up in amusement.

“I may have talked to Negan about…things,” she felt her cheeks flush over making a snort fall from Negan before it turned into an amused rumble of laughter. It made Joel want to ask questions, but she was clearly embarrassed. What kinds of things did she talk about Negan with when it came to Joel? “A lot.”

“This one doesn’t hide shit from you, I fucking promise you that,” Negan reached out to place his hand in over Y/N’s shoulder to give it a firm squeeze. “I hope the two of you enjoy your night. Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do.”

There was an uncomfortable laugh that escaped Joel’s lips and he brushed his fingers through his hair when Negan backstepped away from the table, “Hey Negan. Where’s Morgan?”

“Fuck, you know about Morgan? You really do know everything, don’t you?” Negan seemed amazed that Joel seemed to know about the woman that Y/N had mentioned. “Wow…she’s with her friend’s family right now.”

“You didn’t want to bring her here?” Joel threw his hand about making Negan’s nose wrinkle and his thick eyebrows furrowed. “I just thought you would want to bring your girl with you on a night like this.”

“Do you bring Ellie to a place like this?” Negan stammered, his head bobbing about in almost a dramatic manner making a breath catch in Joel’s throat. What the hell kind of a question was that?

“Of course not,” Joel immediately shook his head making Negan’s dimples enhance as if he was entertained with what Joel was saying to him. “Ellie doesn’t belong in a place like this and she’s not…just no.”

“Then I think you would understand why I’m not bringing Morgan to a place like this,” Negan reasoned with Joel, shrugging his shoulders drastically before pointing back toward the pool table that was behind him. “But if you ever want man, you’re welcome to come over and meet Morgan. She’d probably be thrilled since there are so many fucking stories about you. You’re like a real-life comic book character to her.”

“What?” Joel seemed lost and they both went silent. There was awkward tension between all three of them before Joel cleared his throat. “No, yeah. I would like that. I’ll have to meet her at some point.”

“Well this isn’t fucking weird or anything, I’ll just…talk to you later Y/N,” Negan gave her a wink and headed back toward the pool table to the group that was waiting for him. Y/N seemed amused with the interaction, but it really just left Joel flustered.

“What were we talking about before he came over here?” Joel pulled himself from his thoughts finding Y/N’s eyes hooked on him and it made him let out a nervous laugh. “What?”

“I was telling you that I had my eye on someone else,” she recalled making Joel tap his hands against the table giving her a small nod.

“Oh yeah? Who?” Joel blurt out making her chuckle when she stared out across the table at him. Giving him a nod, Joel let out an embarrassed breath when he dropped his head down and grumbled something underneath his breath. “That was stupid.”

“I mean, I think it’s obvious who I like considering I asked you here tonight,” she reasoned with Joel seeing the embarrassed expression over his features when he slowly lowered his head to look up at her. “I did ask you out on this date.”

“I didn’t know if it was a date or just…a hang out thing with two friends,” Joel spoke up being honest with her about things. “Ellie insisted it was a date, but I didn’t want to assume things and make this whole thing uncomfortable.”

“Well then I will just put it all out on the table and make it known…” she began leaning across the table and he did the same so that he could hear her when she spoke up in a whisper. “I am extremely attracted to you Joel. I have been since the moment that you showed up in this town. I think you’re gorgeous. I like you very much, but most of all I love the way you interact with Ellie and take care of her. I feel like there is a lot to you that people don’t see and I want to get to know that man better. The one you hide from everyone.”

Joel was quiet, his dark eyes locked on hers with his eyebrows furrowed as she spoke, “Does that scare you away from the situation? Because if you aren’t interested, I’d really rather you tell me right now so I don’t get my hopes up.”

“No,” Joel shook his head, his lips parting while he tried to gather himself. “What I mean is, I find you very beautiful. I like you.”

“I like you too,” she felt her heart flutter hearing Joel call her beautiful. It made her happy to know that her feelings weren’t exactly one sided. Joel was quiet and unsure of himself, but it made him all the more appealing to her. “I tell you what? How about we get out of here and just take a walk. So the two of us could actually talk and get to know one another better.”

“Sure,” Joel stood up from the table without question and reached for his jacket. They were barely in that bar long enough to matter really. But when they were out Joel seemed relieved.

“So you’re not a fan of groups of people?” she confirmed with Joel who groaned out at the idea of it.

“I just have been kind of a loner most of my life. I’m not used to people putting their guards down so easily. After the things I’ve seen over the last twenty years of my life, I have to be on guard. It’s just hard not to be,” Joel confessed with a shrug of his shoulders. “It’s hard for me to pretend that life is normal here. Like there isn’t a shitload of awful people out there or infected. So yeah, I’m not big on groups and being…loud.”

“Understandably so,” she muttered just enjoying that they were standing closer to one another with her shoulder rubbing up against his. “Ellie is a bit…loud.”

“She’s the exception,” Joel snorted with a shake of his head. “But she also took a while for me to get used to as well.”

“What happened there?” she whispered seeing Joel think about it for a minute before he bit down on his bottom lip. “Too much?”

“She just means a lot to me. We took a journey together and…I just want to keep her safe,” Joel admitted to her knowing that he wanted to leave out certain details considering how special Ellie actually was to him. “I would just do anything to keep her safe.”

“I love that,” she explained with a smirk knowing that it surprised Joel. “Seeing a good father, or father figure in this case is just incredibly sexy to me.”

“Ah, so you have daddy issues,” Joel was so blunt, but a smirk tugged at his features showing that it was his attempt at joking with her and giving her a hard time. “I just, you have to have realized there is obviously an age gap between us.”

“I’m not that young,” she replied back in a rebuttal and it made Joel snort.

“And you’re not that old either. Once you get to my age and everything aches, you’ll understand what I’m saying,” Joel teased her with a shake of his head and a long sigh. “Your body is still fresh.”

“Oh?” her eyebrows bounced up and she saw the color flood into his cheeks again.

“You know what I mean,” Joel grumbled making her laugh. It entertained her that she could get Joel to blush. She wondered how many people had been able to do that lately.

“I’m sure your body is still fresh too,” she bit down on her bottom lip knowing that it was her attempt at flirting with him. “From what I can tell at least. You’re strong. It’s very appealing. I’d love to get to know your body more.”

“Wow, you’re…forward,” Joel coughed making her roll her eyes before shrugging her shoulders. “It’s not a bad thing. Just wow.”

“Dial it back, I got it,” she frowned making Joel scoff before shaking his head. “I just find you very attractive and I think you need to know that.”

“Okay then,” Joel responded with a nod, his eyes narrowing out at her when he pushed his hands into his pockets. “So you are more so looking for a booty call with an older man that is strong because that is your type.”

“You’re my type,” she corrected him making Joel laugh for the first time tonight.

“You avoided the booty call part,” Joel pointed out making her heart skip a beat and she didn’t answer him. “So you just want to get laid?”

“You’re the one talking about getting laid,” she responded feigning a sense of innocence to her. “I just really like you Joel and while I’m not turned off by the idea of sleeping with you, I don’t really want it to be a one-time thing. I like you.”

“Why?” Joel stammered and it made her laugh. “Seriously. There is nothing about me that I could see being appealing to people.”

“Are you ignoring everything I’ve already said to you tonight?” she huffed, turning to Joel and she stopped walking. Joel did the same and turned to face her. “I really like you, Joel. If you like me too, I’d love to see this be something more than just a booty call.”

“I’m not very good with relationships,” Joel confessed to her with an exaggerated sigh. “I have a hard time expressing my feelings because of…things.”

“Okay?” her eyebrow arched while he bobbed his head from side to side trying to think of what to say.

“I’ve only been in two really big relationships in my life. One was my wife that I got divorced from before this whole world went to shit. The other…” Joel thought back on Tess and he felt his chest ache. Life never really gave him the time to mourn the person he had been with over sixteen years. And even when he was with Tess, he never was very capable of being affectionate and intimate with her. “Let’s just say things didn’t end well. I’m not the most affectionate person in the world. Because of the loss and the things I’ve been through in my life, it makes it hard for me to get close to people. I put up these barriers and they are hard to take down darlin’.”

“I feel like if you had the right person in your life, you could break down those walls a little bit and you wouldn’t have to be so guarded,” she suggested and it made Joel tense up. There was a hopefulness in her expression that showed she desperately wanted to be that person. He didn’t know exactly how to tell her that the last person he had been with was a woman he cared greatly for over sixteen years. A woman who died believing that Joel never truly loved her. “We all have sad stories to go with our pasts Joel and I’m willing to work through things with you if we get to that point.”

“The thing is Y/N, I’m hard…” Joel was trying to think of a way to explain himself that wouldn’t let her down too hard and he saw her face scrunch up. Her eyes lowered and he let out a frustrated sound seeing that she was fucking with him again in the way that she took what he said. “Get your mind out of the gutter.”

“I’m sorry, it was the way you said it,” she giggled reaching out to poke at the center of his chest making Joel step back. “I get your warnings and I hear you, but I would still like to try to get to know you better and see where things go if you give me a chance.”

“Well at least you’re persistent,” Joel commented making her snicker before nodding. This was the first interest she had in someone in a very long time. Of course she wasn’t going to give up hope on this one. “I give you that.”

“Thank you,” she bit at her bottom lip and took in a long shallow breath. “I’m sure within time I could make you love me. I’m a very lovable person.”

“Uh…” Joel swallowed down the lump that was in his throat hearing that word. It was a word he had never even used during his time with Tess, but he wasn’t certain that he wanted to tell Y/N that. This was the first woman that had showed an interest in a long time toward him and he didn’t want to scare her off. “I don’t doubt that.”

Clearing his throat, he noticed that it was getting cold and it was pretty dark out, “While I enjoy walking, how about the two of us go back to my place for some coffee or something?”

“Coffee?” she repeated what he offered. “At night? You looking to stay up all night?”

“Well I don’t sleep much to begin with,” Joel informed her with a simple shrug of his shoulders. “Tea? A beer? I don’t care. Something.”

“Yeah, that sounds nice,” she agreed to head back over to his house with him finding herself excited at the idea of getting to be at his house with him. While they headed back toward his place, she found herself wondering something in that moment. “What about Ellie?”

“What about Ellie?” Joel repeated her words and shrugged. “Ellie has her own place in the garage in my backyard. I set up something nice for her there so she feels like she has her own space. Her own independence, but I still get to watch her.”

“Oh yeah?” Y/N noticed that the lights were on outside in the garage area as they passed down the street when she got a glimpse of his backyard. They walked up the steps to his home and up the stone walkway. “Do many people get to be in Joel Miller’s home?”

“Ellie, Tommy and Maria pretty much,” Joel answered her when he got the door open, holding his hand up for her to enter. “Now you.”

Entering his home, she took a look around as he closed up the door behind her after following her in. It smelled like him. And if you knew what Joel smelled like it was often a woody scent likely from all the woodwork that he did even in his spare time. People knew that he liked to carve things and also made guitars. Joel was starting to open up to people and was even trying to give people guitar lessons, but it was pretty rare. It was more so for the kids in the town.

His home was pretty bare, but she knew that Joel was a simple man. Joel took his jacket off and put it on the coat hanger before reaching for her coat to help her take it off. It still charmed her that he had that southern chivalry and kept it alive this long into the future. Many people lost that a long time ago and she found it charming.

“I’m going to make myself some coffee,” Joel announced nodding toward the kitchen area of his home. “You’re welcome to join me or I could make you some tea.”

“I can drink coffee,” she smirked following him over toward the kitchen noticing the way that he limped as he made his way to that part of his house. “I like your place, Joel.”

“You’ve barely seen it,” Joel muttered making her chuckle. “But thank you.”

Heading toward the corner of the kitchen where the cabinets met, she leaned back and braced herself while she watched Joel gather what he needed to make his coffee, “So since I was honest about my relationships, what about you?”

“You can ask me anything Joel and I’ll be completely honest with you. There isn’t much to say in terms of important relationships in my life. Nothing too serious,” Y/N answered Joel after he asked her about her personal life. “Like you pointed out, I was a bit younger than you when this world fell to shit so it didn’t leave a whole lot of time for relationships and getting close to someone. Being here in Jackson is the first time I’ve had any kind of sturdy moment in my life.”

“Touché,” Joel grumbled under his breath, turning to face her and he rest his back up against the island in the middle of his kitchen. There was a silence while he gazed over the lengths of her body. Everything she had said to him tonight replayed in his mind and he was trying to think of what he wanted to say to her. “So you want to date me?”

“Do you want to date me?” she tipped her head to the side watching Joel’s eyebrows tense and his jaw flexed while he looked her over. Having him ask her that was almost cruel. He knew how she felt about him. She made it very clear throughout their time together. So she wasn’t going to answer that until he gave her an answer himself.

“I’m still thinking about it,” he slurred making her eyes get big and she nodded. “What would make me want to date you?”

“Other than the glowing recommendation you gave me earlier?” she replied with a bit of an offended tone. “What’s not to like?”

“You’re arrogant,” Joel seemed to be finding fun in making her tense. “I don’t even know if you’re a good kisser at this point. How can I date someone if I don’t even know what they kiss like?”

“You’re questioning if I’m a good kisser or not?” she placed her hand over the center of her chest watching Joel shrug and seem so nonchalant about things. “What if you’re not a good kisser?”

“Oh, I’m a good kisser,” Joel responded with a grumble, curling his fingers around the edge of the countertop. “So if there is a problem with us kissing, I know it has to be you because I can kiss.”

“Now who is the arrogant one?” she stammered, boldly stepping forward making Joel’s dark eyes follow her movements. Stepping before Joel, she reached up to curl her fingers around the side of his neck to bring him down. Tipping up on her toes just enough, she pulled him forward to bring their lips together. With a hum, Joel kissed her back making it vibrate against her lips. The kiss lingered before she pulled back with a shuddering breath. The warmth of his breath over hers was drawing chills down her spine and Joel tipped his head back slightly. “Was that a bad kiss?”

“Too short to tell,” he growled, palming in over the side of her face with his thumb stroking over her cheekbone. Lowering in again, he watched her eyes flutter to a close before he captured her lips in another kiss. This one was stronger, the warmth of Joel’s lips caressing hers into a desperate surrender. When he pulled away, he sucked faintly at her bottom lip and hissed. “Well, we know that you like my kissing. I told you.”

With her lips glistening from the kiss, Joel found himself in awe with the way that Y/N was looking at him. He wasn’t sure if anyone ever looked at him like that. Not even Tess saw him in the way that Y/N did right now and he knew that. He wasn’t used to so much longing and hopefulness from someone. Especially when it came to him. It had been so long since he had felt the warmth of another person pressed against him. Being able to kiss someone again awoke something inside of him and he liked it, “but you don’t kiss too bad yourself. I’ll take it into consideration when thinking about whether or not I may want to date you.”

“You’re a cruel man, aren’t you Joel Miller?” she licked her lips making his face scrunch up while her hands settled in over the center of his chest. It kept her braced against him while it felt like the world was spinning around her.

“Very, haven’t you heard from the people in town?” Joel whispered against her lips, pressing faint kisses over her bottom lip. At this point there was no doubt in his mind that he had her eating out of the palm of his hand. Just the small amount of attention that he had given her had her breathing unevenly. Her pupils were dilated with lust and want for him. “I’m very harsh and hard to please.”

“I guess I will just have to work harder,” she bit at her bottom lip, her hands dragging down over the planes of his abdomen. When her fingers got to the button in his jeans, she plucked it open making Joel swallow down loudly. “As I aim to please.”

“Y/N,” Joel grumbled when she managed to get the zipper down in his jeans. Maybe this is where he should have stopped her. This was someone who really liked him. Yeah, he was hoping it would lead to something like this. It had been so long since he got to fool around with someone, so he kept his mouth shut when she looked to him with such desire.

Biting down onto his bottom lip, he closed his eyes when he felt her hand dipping beneath the material swiftly to palm in over his body. It made his eyelids get heavy and he tipped his head back to stare out at her while she caressed over him through the material of his boxers. With an arch of his eyebrow he watched her lower down to her knees before him. All it took was a tug to get his jeans to his ankles before she reached for the waistband of his boxers and took no time in getting those down his body as well. Looking up at Joel, she kept her eyes hooked on his when her fingers curled around his hardening cock. Soft strokes of her fingers over his body made him grasp tightly to the edge of the counter. When he was solid in her grasp, she straightened up on her knees before him and dragged her tongue out over the tip of his manhood making his knees buckle somewhat until he managed to gather himself. His eyes rolled back to a close when her lips surrounded his girth sucking faintly at his sensitive flesh. With her tongue lapping at his skin, Joel knew that it had been so long since someone actually took their time to pleasure him. It wasn’t something that he knew he needed, but now that he was actually having it, he knew that it had been too long.

With his eyes closed, everything felt so much more enhanced when Y/N took him further into the warmth of her mouth. Arching his hips forward, Joel growled and lowered his left hand to sink his fingers into her hair. Fluttering his eyes to an open, he watched her while she took her time to bob her head over the length of his erection and it made his heart hammer inside of his chest. Each pull back of her head had her tongue dragging along the underside of his shaft making his whole-body tense up. Curling his fingers tighter into her hair, Joel urged her further down his length making her eyes come to a tight close.

Thrusting his hips forward made a wet noise fall from her throat before he started to pull his hips backward before thrusting forward. They were uneven thrusts, but it felt so good having the warmth of her mouth surrounding him. Licking his lips, he found himself completely charmed with the way she was attempting to give him what he wanted. Tugging back on her hair, he heard the wet sound that filled the air when her lips pulled from his solid length and he used his other hand to drag his thumb out over her bottom lip. A muted groan fell from his throat with her kissing at the pad of his thumb.

“Get up,” Joel demanded of her, reaching out to pull her up toward him and it made her fall in against his chest. Reaching out to unplug the coffee machine, Joel could feel Y/N’s lips at the side of his neck while she worked open the buttons of his plaid shirt. Fumbling through his motions, Joel did his best to work her pants down her body hearing her whimpering against his kisses.

As soon as they managed to get the material from one of her legs, he was quick to curl his arms around her thighs to pick her up and press her back against the counter. Bracing her, Joel used his strength to keep her up when he reached between them to push her panties aside. Grabbing a hold of his straining cock, he teased the swollen tip through her sensitive folds before lining his body up with her entrance. With a roll of his hips, he heard her crying out and sinking her fingers into his thick, gray hair. Joel buried his nose against the side of her neck cherishing the warmth of her body enveloping his. Sinking further into her, Joel heard her purr out and he did his best to steady himself. The sensation of her surrounding him was something he didn’t know that he needed, but it was an addictive feeling and he wanted more of it.

When he felt like she was prepared enough, he started to buck his hips up toward her again and again. With him filling her, she was crying out and it fueled him to know that she appeared to like what they were doing. Doing his best to keep a hold of her, Joel took his time leaving kisses over her jawline and neck knowing that she was a shuddering mess before him.  

“Joel,” she cried out his name and it made Joel’s eyes close tightly, his lips parting with their uneven movements together. His hips smacked up against hers while he thrust into her time and time again. Her fingers tugged at his graying hair while her other hand clawed at his shoulder making Joel hiss out against her lips. “Please…”

Joel wasn’t exactly the most verbal lover, but the occasional moan that he released drew chills up and down her spine. This wasn’t exactly where she thought their first date would go, but she wasn’t complaining. In fact, this was the ultimate dream come true for her. The strength of Joel’s thrusts led her to cling to him tightly and a few of the items on top of his counter fell over making Joel huff. Lowering her down, Joel felt her fingers pushing up underneath the material of his unbuttoned shirt to let it drop down his arms while she caressed over the strength of his bicep. Joel’s lips hovered over hers. Their breath was warm against each other’s and he could feel her hips still rocking toward him wanting that friction that he had put a halt too.

Dropping the material of his shirt on the ground, Joel wasn’t gentle or slow about the way he got the rest of her clothes off before forcing her to face the island. With a gasp, her hands grasped the edges of the counter while she tried to steady herself with Joel moving her where he needed her. His right hand urged her hips where he needed them while his left curled around her body to palm up the lengths of her abdomen before squeezing at her full breast.

Wrapping his fingers around his throbbing length, he led the tip to her ready entrance and pushed forward sinking into her almost completely before pulling out. It made her whine before he repeated the motion several times. Having her shaking before him while laid out across the counter made him chuckle.

“You’d never make it out there with how loud you are,” Joel informed her, lowering down enough to place a wet kiss between her shoulder blades. Following the movement of her spine, he kissed down her back before snapping his hips forward once more to bring them together again allowing all of him to sink into her. “We’d be dead with the way you’re reacting.”

“We’re not out there, we’re here,” she licked her lips, cooing out with the feeling of him inside of her. “You feel so big inside of me. Why don’t you lighten up and use that cock of yours to make me cry. I bet your proud of the sounds you’re making come out of me.”

“I’d almost be offended if you weren’t making them,” Joel quipped nipping at her shoulder. Squeezing his arm around her waist had his bicep flexing while he brought her back against him with every thrust forward he made inside of her.

With her warmth surrounding him and contracting around his thick length, he found himself getting lost in the moment. Each movement was fueled on what felt good in that moment and he was craving every second of it. His breathing got louder, but he wasn’t exactly giving in to being verbal with her. With a firm smack forward of his hips, he had her crawling forward, but his hips followed her movements. Hooking his fingers into her hair, he kept her where she was and gazed down at him inside of her. Her arousal was coating his body and it made him lick his lips. The fact he had held off this long on getting intimate with someone even surprised him. Another whine fell from her lips with him leaving himself stagnant inside of her.

Pressing his chest up against her back, he reached to hook his fingers with hers. Squeezing them firmly, he took his time rolling his hips behind her. With each soft smack of his skin against hers, his thrusts became somewhat quicker and just a bit harder. In no time, he had her crying out his name with her fingers hooking tighter to his while he pounded into her from behind. It was obvious that Joel was a very physical person. The way he had sex showed that.

“Almost there,” he coached her with his teeth nibbling at her earlobe with him making sure to be closer to her. The wet smacking sounds filled the kitchen and he hoped that he wasn’t being so loud with Y/N that it would draw Ellie’s attention from his backyard.

“Joel,” she whimpered, her eyes slamming shut when she pushed up on her toes but he didn’t allow her to pull away from him when she orgasmed. Joel longed to feel that sweet, intoxicating sensation of her body contracting around his while she shook. The noises she made had him smiling, but there was still that longing he had to come. It had been so long since he had a release and now that he was on the edge of building himself up to it, he was desperate to get it. “Please…please let me see you.”

“Uh…” Joel lifted his head to look around the kitchen before finally pulling back and away. When his solid length pulled from her warmth, he watched her shudder while taking a minute laid out across the counter to try to calm her breathing. Grabbing a chair, Joel pulled it out from the table and lowered down onto it. Stretching out his legs, he tapped his thigh and motioned her to come to him. “I’m all ready for you.”

Pushing herself up onto her feet, it felt like her legs were Jell-O with the high that Joel had given her body by absolutely having his way with her. Taking a moment to stare out at his body while he was stretched out in the wooden chair, she couldn’t help but have her throat go dry looking at him, “This is the moment where I wish I was an artist of some kind. You are perfection.”

“Stop,” Joel snorted, looking down at his body. The prominent thing that stood out to him was the scar that was left from his injury over his lower abdomen. Letting out a shuddering breath, Joel felt Y/N bracing herself over him while her hands grabbed at the back of the chair. Biting into his bottom lip, Joel tipped his head to the side and cleared his throat. “You’re the beautiful one.”

“I think everything about you is amazing,” she took her time, resting her weight against Joel’s thighs while she got comfortable over him and just started caressing over his body. It made a lump develop in his throat at how delicate she was and how attentive she was to every part of him. Sliding her hands down over his broad shoulders, she took her time to appreciate the flesh before palming down over his chest and toward his lower abdomen. When her fingertips touched at the puckered healing flesh over his body, it made him uncomfortable and she could see that he was uneasy about it. “It shows how strong you are. Don’t be ashamed of your scars. It shows the world how hard you fought to stay here. You’re the strongest man I know Joel.”

“Yeah?” Joel felt vulnerable in that moment. His Adam’s apple bounced in his throat and his chocolate brown eyes were hooked on hers. With a nod, she pressed in to hover her lips over his making Joel lick his lips. There was a want to be kissed. This whole time he had been arrogant. Wanting a certain thing from her and that was pleasure. Something he had been lacking for so very long, but with her touching him and saying the things that she was he found himself in awe of the woman over him. “I’m deeply flawed Y/N.”

“I can help fix you,” she hushed him, leaning forward to meet his lips in a longing kiss that took her breath away. For so long she had been swooning over Joel and the fact she was sharing such an intimate moment with him made her feel special.

“There is no fixing me, I was broken a very long time ago,” he grunted against her lips when he felt her reaching between them. Taking her time, she lowered and led him back toward her entrance and allowed herself to get used to him inside of her again with that beautiful stretching feeling. Wincing, Joel tipped his head back, his hands caressing all over her body. With a cry, she bit down at her bottom lip and tipped her head back. Her fingers braced over his abdomen while she was meticulous in the way she bounced her hips over his. Having her like this made things more intimate. It brought them closer together and maybe when he brought her back here, he did think that it would just be a booty call but having her in this way made his view change of her. It was clear she had a way bigger crush on him than he did her, but he had always found her beautiful. There was just that whole problem of getting intimate with others. After everything that he lost, Joel never wanted to get close to people and it took a lot. Even his relationship with Ellie was hard, but he was doing the best he could to open himself up. With a grunt, his fingers squeezed at her hip and he was sure it would have likely left a mark. “I am what I am.”

“You have to be willing to let others in,” she reached for Joel’s hands, lifting them up to press them back against the top of the chair. Tipping forward, her lips hovered over his and Joel’s chocolate-colored eyes were focused on hers. Her movements had become steady. When she found something that Joel visibly liked she kept at it. So desperately she wanted him to break down the walls that he was holding to enjoy himself, but he stayed quiet. An occasional faint moan fell from his lips which she considered a small victory for herself. What really was her reward in all of this was the way his eyes stayed locked with hers with the muscle in his jaw flexing. It was the most connected she had been with him all night. With a faint rumble, Joel’s eyes rolled back to a close with his head resting back against the chair. The way she was riding him was obviously something he was enjoying and she brought their lips together. “Let go Joel…”

A shuddering exhale escaped his lips, his brow line creasing when she felt him throbbing inside of her. His hips bucked up toward her to chase that release and she mewled out into his mouth feeling the warmth of his release inside of her. Their fingers were hooked together when she lowered them back down. Joel’s eyes lazily opened and he started kissing down over her jawline and toward her neck.

“Was that okay for you?” she searched for any kind of praise from Joel, wincing when he nipped at her flesh. It was almost like he was marking her as his own and she liked it. Joel’s rough palms were caressing up and over her back toward her shoulders and back down again where Joel grasped her ass firmly.

“More than,” Joel answered her, enjoying the way that she touched him and caressed over his scalp. “Thank you, I needed that. Very much.”

That night she didn’t leave his home. They spent the rest of it together just drinking coffee and talking. By morning when she had to go to work, she didn’t want to leave him. Joel wasn’t someone who talked much exactly and it took a lot to get it out of him, but she did her best. Thing was, she wanted to be with him all the time when they were free. And he didn’t exactly turn her down.

Not long after their first night together Joel realized that they were spending a lot of their free time together so he asked her to move in with him. It made more sense being together than having her house just sitting there. It freed it up for another family in the future to take and it was nice to have someone else to share his home with. Things weren’t as quiet anymore and that was a good thing. It was everything she could have wanted in getting closer to Joel.

A year had passed with them living together and while Y/N was happy, Joel had been very upfront and honest with her from the start. Since that day they got together, he never called her his girlfriend. He never told her that he loved her. There was a severe lack of affection, one that she thought she could fix, but she wasn’t sure that Joel was capable. After a year of trying she realized that it was likely never going to come.  

They shared a house together and bed, but even now as they were lying in bed together Joel was at the opposite end of the bed turned in the direction away from her. Gazing back over her shoulder, Y/N longed to have Joel hold her. There was a desperation to be cuddled. Joel’s arms and chest were so nice, but he was so cold to anything like that. So many times she had told him she loved him, but he would often blow it off with a grunt. He hated using those words and often told her that it was rushing things. At the beginning of this relationship, she was hopeful. It had been a year, why would she be rushing things with love? They were living together. They shared their life together. It felt real to her.  

At this point, it just felt like they were roommates. Two people that were together so they weren’t alone. They would just go about their day, come home and maybe talk about it before going to bed again. They were two people that occasionally had sex that honestly lacked intimacy in so many ways. Regardless of how many times Joel turned her down with affection, it didn’t stop her from trying. She was determined that one day she would be able to get Joel to change for her. She wanted to believe that. She had to believe that.

Looking over her shoulder again, she could see that Joel was shaking in his sleep. He was having a nightmare and she let out a long sigh. Turning over, she scoot toward his side of the bed and wrapped her arms around him. It calmed his body having her comfort him like that. Nuzzling her nose at the bottom of his neck, she felt him opening up to the idea of her holding onto him. Hooking her fingers with his, she stroked her thumb over the back of his hand feeling Joel squeezing her hand in his.

Joel’s breathing changed showing that he had waken up and she pressed a loving kiss against his cheek, “I love you, so much.”

Joel said nothing, just scoot back in closer to her to have her hold him tighter in her grasps. She assumed that he was trying to pretend that he was still sleeping, but she knew his breathing. After a year you got to learn the person you shared a home and a bed with. There was a longing in her heart that hurt. In her eyes, Joel was perfect. He was everything to her, but she wished that some nights he would do this with her. Hold her in his arms and whisper sweet nothings to her.

All of Jackson knew that they were living together. It wasn’t like there was a person that didn’t know they were with one another. But Joel still had a whole lot of issues showing that intimacy. Hand holding in public wasn’t for him. Kissing seemed to embarrass him around others. So everything was behind closed doors. Y/N was in love, Joel was comfortable. There was a huge difference in the way they acted toward one another. She thought they were in a relationship, but by the way Joel acted she wondered if he just thought they were really close friends with benefits.  

In time, Joel’s breathing went back to what it was when he was asleep and she felt her throat tightening. Just once she wanted to hear him say that he loved her. That he cared about her. That life wouldn’t be the same without her. Yet, she got none of those things. He told her that he liked her. That he enjoyed her company. That life was no longer boring or lonely because of her, but honestly? She was extremely lonely and it was the worst feeling in the world. To love someone so much and feel like they didn’t feel the same was soul crushing. But she forced her emotions down. She loved Joel so much that she couldn’t picture not having him in her life.  

She lived for moments like these. At least Joel let her comfort and console him. Getting to touch him was the greatest gift that she could have, but she didn’t know what to do anymore to try to get Joel to be affectionate with her. She was becoming touch starved. She wanted that emotional connection with Joel, but he wasn’t giving in. She was surprised that he okayed her moving in with him in the first place because he really liked having his own space. Sometimes she thought he did it just to appease her. To give her something since she so desperately wanted to feel anything more from him.

Joel had opened up to her about Sarah and vaguely talked about Tess. It was Tommy that had really kept her in the loop with things. And it was because of Tommy that she never gave up on Joel. Tommy promised her time and time again that Joel cared for her. That it would just take time. That Joel needed someone not to give up on him and damnit, she was trying. Harder than she had ever tried before in any relationship.

The best moments they shared together were those that were spent with Ellie. Ellie got Joel to relax, to the best of his ability really. It was amazing what that kid could do to change Joel around. When they were all together, it was the only time they really felt like a family. There were hopes that if Ellie found a way to love Y/N that Joel would soon too. It was just taking longer than expected. Y/N never wasted a minute with Joel in letting him know how she felt about him. And she hoped that in time, he would learn to feel the same way about her as she did him.

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[codenamesazanka]

Saw some Spinaraki kid OCs so I decided to try my hand at it too. Though it's less happy family kidfic and more resentfully making Heroes and Deku face consequences post-canon. Sorry.

the Spinaraki lovechild:

Shirakata Masanori | 白方正憲

Age: 15

Appearance: Lizard heteromorph. Black hair, pink eyes, white scales.

Quirk: Adhesion. Decay's spreading effect + Gecko's sticking trait. Anything object Masanori touches and remain in contact with will adhere with anything the object is also touching. If he touches a sidewalk, everyone on it will be stuck and trapped, unable to move their feet.

result of Spinner and Shigaraki getting together post-Deika/pre-surgery. super unexpected.

three months after Shigaraki went in for surgery, Spinner pops out an egg (please go with it)

During Heroes' raid on the PLF Villa, Spinner entrusts egg to ReDestro. Unfortunately, when everyone got arrested, egg gets swept up in custody capture of MLA kids.

With no one to claim the egg, it is placed in orphanage; all contact is then lost.

Egg hatches after war, at end of August.

Spinner was never able to tell Shigaraki about their kid due to the possession.

He decides not to say anything to the Heroes either. Doesn't trust them after Shigaraki got killed, and better that the kid doesn't grow up stigmatized for having terrorists as parents.

But Spinner does leave a letter with his court-appointed lawyer, hoping that one day it will reach the kid, when they come of age.

Spinner dies early due to effects of having multiple quirks; dies ten years after war

The lawyer, deciding to just finish up this assignment cleanly, finds the kid 4 years later and delivers the letter despite the kid not reaching age of majority.

Despite half-assed mild societal change efforts, Masanori grows up an orphan in the system, with the additional stigma of being an PLF raid kid (and therefore very likely the child of dead/arrested Villains/criminals)

Abandoned, unnamed babies in Japan are named by the city/town's mayor. Masanori was named with the kanji "white-direction correct-law" in hopes that he would become a law-abiding citizen (unlike his unknown parents). The Mayor is an asshole.

(Though Shirakata is a real surname, and chosen because kid has white scales)

Early on, Masanori looked out into the world and realized it doesn't want him, made it clear he doesn't belong. So he accepted it.

However, he knows the path of Villainy only leads to doom.

His caretakers drilled that into the PLF raid kids. Quirk counseling emphasized it a lot. So did teachers. Everyone.

He’s (reluctantly) played the ‘Villain’ in enough playground games that ends with the ‘Heroes’ pretending to smash him to pieces or explode him to nothing, because everyone has seen the war footage.

And he’s known too many people who salivate over the satisfaction of proving his blood is irreparably criminal.

So he won't be a Villain.

He just wants to leave - leave the orphanage, leave the city, leave Japan. Maybe travel the world alone forever.

Masanori is: very solitary, utterly disinterested in people, self-reliant, pragmatic, opportunistic, clever enough but can bite off more than he can chew

Masanori doesn't really have any sentimental feelings about his parents; or rather, he feels there's no point to dwell on it

He always knew he was the son of criminals. Discovering that he's the son of the most notorious criminals is somewhat cool, but Spinner and Shigaraki are long dead and gone.

When Masanori first received the letter, there was a satisfaction to finally knowing, nearly a sense of destiny. So he read the League of Villains memoir. He read the manuscript drafts that he inherited from Spinner. He did a lot of research.

(In the letter, Spinner admits that the kid was a surprise, that Shigaraki never knew, and Spinner himself doesn't know anything about the kid and will likely go to his grave not knowing.

They dealt the kid a shit hand.

Saying something cliche like they loved the kid they never knew would be hollow; and besides, Spinner and Shigaraki were twisted and distorted people. Villains. So the truth is, the kid is likely better off without them.

But.

Spinner wishes he and Shigaraki could've known the kid, and he regrets that neither of them were able to stay alive and free.

Spinner also writes that if Shigaraki knew about the kid, he knows Shigaraki would've tried to give them the world.)

But eventually, for Masanori, the end result of all that is realizing that there's nothing to be done with this information. Spinner and Shigaraki don't know him, and he doesn't know them; never will. They were criminals, they were young and stupid, they picked a fight and lost, and they left him behind.

All he has is still just himself.

...and this new knowledge he might be able to use to his advantage.

Which is why Masanori decides to confront the Hero Deku and demand compensation for the death of his parents and other hardships

Age 15, Masanori arrives at Deku's agency, carrying Spinner's letter that is his only proof

But just looking at Masanori convinces Deku. Kid's appearance is basically Tenko in lizard heteromorph form, but even his demeanor reminds Deku of Shigaraki - aloof but intense, determined. (tho he is still younger, less hostile, a bit stiff in nervousness)

Deku is shocked, guilty, suspicious, already wants to help, appalled at the extortion attempt. Ready for a conflict.

At least until he hears Masanori's demands:

Guaranteed admission to UA's General Studies Program, a recommendation letter, as well as a stipend all three years that Masanori is in high school.

And that's it.

Masanori has only an okay school record.

He did not have an enriching school life.

He's been accused of delinquent behavior - mostly suspected small theft and 'incidents' with other students

(They could never actually prove he stole anything; and the incidents he get into are always with the more aggressive classmates. They're not so much fights as pranks, and the bullying usually ceases immediately afterwards.)

High school is not mandatory in Japan, and minors legally can start work at age 15, so Masanori has been "asked"/expected to leave the orphanage after middle school. Jin Scenario

Not a very bright future. But he was ready for it... until he received Spinner's letter.

Suddenly.

If Masanori gets into UA High School, an elite national school, with recommendation from a world-renowned and beloved Hero, it's leaving the orphanage, leaving his hometown, starting a new life.

(General Studies program because he has zero interest in being a Hero.)

Graduate and better prepared to leave everything behind and travel the world alone forever.

Opportunity of a lifetime. He will shamelessly seize it.

Masanori's not blackmailing Deku or anything - nothing to blackmail, since no one cares Deku killed Shigaraki, and admitting he's the son of terrorists is social death. He's relying entirely on Deku's heroism.

Even if his Shigaraki was a Villain that Deku had to kill for the good of the world, that was still his father. Deku will feel compassion and guilt for Masanori.

Because Deku is a hero.

Manipulative? Yes. Is he unqualified for UA? Yes. But Masanori wants a chance at having more to life.

And Deku has to face what he (and All Might, and OFA) never actually did: resolve the continued rejection and ostracization problem in quirk society, and the cycle of Shimura tragedy

Because it's quickly obvious Masanori is just like his parents: given up on the world, given up on people. He's just not dangerous about it.

But his heart is empty. He has never been saved. And he no longer wants to be.

In other words: this time, Deku has to truly save someone that's been failed and rejected by this society he upholds. even if easy mode too because Masanori is not a villain. but is less receptive than a seven-year-old. or someone already having Pro-Hero aspirations

[sword-is-bored]

I Met You Once

(Link X Reader)

Feminine (Y/n)!

Ocarina of Time

“(Y/n)!” The young girl turned her head, finding a boy in green on horseback. She tilted her head, wondering how he could know her name. “I’m sorry… do I know you?” He looked a couple years older, but not by much. “Oh! I’m.. uh.. yes. I’m Link. I was talking to your older sister. I just wanted to meet you.” The young girl tilted her head and smiled. She knew her older sister enjoyed talking with strangers, especially when she ventured to Castle Town. Maybe… this would be a friend for her. After all, their quaint house tucked far away wasn’t something she was able to leave. The young fairy boy seemed keen on talking to her. “It’s nice to meet you, I haven’t heard anything about you.” She said. Link shrugged and got down from his horse. “This is Epona. I..” He blushed, holding out his hand. “I wanna be your friend. I’m ten. I heard you’re eight.” She blinked and slowly nodded. “Yeah. I am. I like your horse. She’s pretty.” (Y/n) took his hand and shook it. Link grinned. “Great! Come on and pet her.”

So, (Y/n) did. She stroked the mane of the gentle horse, still a young foal herself. The two began to chat more, and (Y/n) found she really liked this boy. He had traveled all around Hyrule and visited… everywhere! All the adventure she had yearned for in her young years. “I have to stay home, mom and dad want me to be the perfect lady.” (Y/n) said softly. “Why’s that?” Link asked. “Oh, when I get married.” She said nonchalantly. “Married?” Link asked slowly. “Yeah. I have a fiancé.” (Y/n) hummed. “A fiancé?” The young girl grinned at the boy’s question. “Yeah! It’s super cool! When I get big enough, I’ll get married. So mom and dad want me to know all the things I need to be the perfect wife.”

The perfect wife.

The words had rang clear through the young boys brain. However, he had witnessed a different fate.

Years later, when Hyrule was crumbling.

Tears that (Y/n) cried when he had met her.

“I hate him. I hate this man. I hate being married. I’ve… already had two children. My body is ruined. I’m ruined. I wish.. I wish I never agreed.” An older Link had witnessed this, and brought the memory back to the present. “Link… I wish… you’d found me. I love you. I’m sorry.”

“(Y/n)… you shouldn’t marry him.” The young boy whispered. “Why not? Mom and dad say he’ll treat me so nice.” Link stared at the girl, biting his lip. “Promise me something? We’ll stay friends, okay? And you can tell me anything. And I’ll do anything to make sure you’re happy.” He asked. (Y/n) thought it was a weird request, but shrugged it off. A friend. That’s all she’s ever wanted. A true friend. “Okay, and I’ll do the same for you.”

Years passed, and Link made good on his promise. He would visit at least once a week, if not twice. (Y/n)’s parents found him irritating, but he never meddled in her marriage again. (Y/n)’s 16th birthday was nearing, as were her preparations for her marriage. “I’m really excited Link. After this long, I’ll be able to meet my fiancé soon.” She gazed at him, as they sat in Hyrule field together. Link hummed, picking at the flowers around them. “Yes, I’m sure you’re excited. But is this something you want?” He asked, tilting his head. Throughout the years, Link had lost his childish charms. He had grown into a fine young man, and (Y/n) couldn’t help but to notice him. Really notice him. The way he protectively stood with her, how kind he always was. How he could make her laugh, even at the worst times. Something… she wants? (Y/n) had to sit back with herself. Did she want to get married? “And you’ve never met the guy? What’s so great about him anyway?” Link prodded. (Y/n) frowned and thought to herself. “I don’t know. I guess… the fact that someone wants me. I’ve been spoken for for as long as I can remember.” She murmured. “Don’t you think that’s… creepy?” (Y/n) shook her head. “Not even a little?” Link asked. “If I were engaged for that long, I’d at least want to know what my wife looks like. Her name, her face, the way she laughs… you know. Something.” (Y/n) brushed Link off. “You wouldn’t understand.” She mumbled. “But… (Y/n). That’s… forever. Marrying someone.” (Y/n) huffed and tugged at the instrument Link carried around. “Okay, whatever fairy boy. Play me a song. I don’t want to talk about that anymore.” Link rolled his eyes and took the ocarina back from her. “Yes, princess.” He murmured and began to play a soft tune.

He just… couldn’t shake the way she looked at him. And through these years he had fallen in love with her. The way she laughed, the way her eyes sparkled when she was truly happy. He needed to see that smile. He wished he could do more to show her how much he cared for her, as more than a friend. Sure, at first this was his heroic heart. He needed to save a girl who obviously couldn’t save herself on her own. It’s what was right… but… now? Now his heart was in on it. He couldn’t… shake what he saw.

(Y/n) told him she was fourteen when she married this man. He was thirty eight years older than her. Fifty two. Marrying a child. “He made me happy at first and then… he treated me like a slave.” And that’s all she was to him. A servant. And it crushed him to see her like that. He spends a few days with her, under the guise of being an old childhood friend. He… fell in love with her so fast. So hard. He figured he could save her before any of this. He was already altering the future, why couldn’t he do it again?

“Link?” He jumped up as she snapped her fingers a few times. “Hey, did you hear me?” (Y/n) asked sitting back in the grass. “Maybe. Maybe not, why?” Link asked, feeling embarrassed he had fallen that deep in his thoughts. “I told you I’m getting married. In a week.” His heart seemed to stop and he looked at (Y/n). “What?” He hissed. “I’m getting married in a week. I was told yesterday, isn’t that exciting?” Link slowly reached out and took her hands, staring daggers into the ground beneath them. “(Y/n). I’ve… I know what your life will be like with him.” He said slowly, delicately as not to scare her. “You cannot marry him. Please. You.. you have to trust me. Okay? Say the word and I’ll take you away. Far away. I’ll protect you, and make sure no one ever takes away your freedom to choose again. But you have to trust my word.”

(Y/n) searched his gaze, finding nothing but panic and pain for her. Her heart clenched and she realized in horror… did she love him? She pulled her hands away and stared at Link intently. “I.. I don’t…” The words escaped her mind. He looked up, his eyes finding hers. And for once she could see her future. Laughing and running, cuddles and soft kisses. Waking up in the night, finding his sleeping body beside hers. A comforting and fulfilling presence. She bit her lip and closed her eyes. “I’m scared.” She said simply. Link pulled her into a tight hug, nodding softly. “I know. I am too, but I promise I’ll protect you. And I promise you’ll be so much happier. Trust me.”

She did trust him. With her life.

“Okay.” She breathed, hugging back. He pulled back and smiled, gently tilting her head up to look at him. He leaned in close, and she did as well. They shared a gentle kiss before Link pulled away. “I will come to get you the night before your wedding. Take anything you’d like. You won’t be returning.”

The day came, and (Y/n) waited anxiously in her nightgown. Her window cracked open and the familiar head of her lovely fairy boy poked inside. Their gazes met and he held out a hand. She smiled and took it, climbing out of her window with him.

To freedom.

(Happy ToTK release my friends :))

[babiebom]

Bachelors and what kind of ~dere they would be

A/N: I thought this would be something cool to write headcanons for especially because I've played through the Sebastian yandere mod and have watched vids on the others being yanderes. Personally I feel as if some of them don't really fit the yandere category and others would fit them more.

Tw: none as far as i know. Does sort of spoil one of Sam's heart events and a game event.

Word count: at least 10 bullet points per character

Sebastian

Kuudere

Describes as often plays it cool and even in the most stressful situations they're calm and collected. They never panic and often remain distant and analytical until the end.

I feel like Sebby doesn't often show his emotions, especially because he seems introverted.

But the thing is he doesn't seem like the shy uwu scared of people introverted he's more of a voluntary introvert and just prefers being along but has no problem interacting with people

So for that I'm saying he's more the type to always be calm around the person he likes, never making his feelings obvious and never treating them any different than he would treat anyone he sees as a friend.

Kinda reminds me of an anime scene(I forgot the name but its space themed)

Of where the girl basically confesses her feelings and calls the guy an idiot after they talk about what they plan for the future and she says her dream is to become his wife and why can't he see that

And his reaction is basically ? I thought we were already together what?

And she's like ???? You've never made it clear that you like me and he's like yeah didn't think that i had to? I thought we were already together.

He gives off those vibes.

I also feel as though if he did open up it would be in a nonchalant way, it wouldn't be dramatic or romantic I think he would just be stating his feelings as facts.

And I feel like people often forget that this man is a huge nerd and super smart at least in my opinion

I mean he codes from home and plays dnd.

Even if he isn't a robotics and super science nerd like Maru is I think he is a smart and rather analytical person. I don't think he would be on the emotional side of things

If you get together he doesn't change much but does show his affection through touch and acts of service rather than his words.

Harvey

Dandere

Described as shy, quiet, and asocial is most situations. Stays quiet to avoid conflict

I feel as even though he's the town doctor he doesn't have many friends

Like he's only close to Maru bc she works for him in the clinic

And we usually see him hanging out alone or in his room looking at planes and stuff

I feel as though if he developed feelings for you either you would notice right away with how weird he acts around you or you wouldn't notice at all because you assume he's quiet with everyone unless its medically related.

So maybe not shy but quiet does describe him.

Obviously he opens up around you little by little the more you interact with him but it takes a lot of effort on both if your parts

On yours you have to consistently bother him and talk to him which is a lot of work especially when its not reciprocated at first

And on his he has to allow himself to be vulnerable and open with a person, its even harder when you feel romantic feelings for that person because what if they don't really like you in that way or they decide they don't like you after getting to know you

Very sweet man when you get together, still quiet but in a more comfy way.

Shane

Tsundere

Described as hostile and cold on the outside and sweet and kind on the inside

And I feel like that exactly describes Shane

While he is an alcoholic(recovering or not based on how you see him and play the game)He is very sweet even if not to people other than you(once you get to know him), jas, and his chickens.

Does seem like the type that once he starts feeling things for you he would start helping in small ways but also tries to not make it obvious

Oh he sees you walking from the woods with a big ass bag of fiber rocks and wood?

He'll offer to carry it if you need help

Sees you out and about in town, asks what you're up to and if you need help with anything

But don't think that he'a doing this because he likes you

He doesn't he just wants to pay back the kindness you've given to him back to you so he doesn't owe you anything

Ends every sentence to you with stupid or idiot if it allows without seeming genuinely mean

Does really like you and slowly starts showing you that once you show you aren't going anywhere

Does still get incredibly flustered when you do something sweet for or to him

Though if you get together is more open with his affection.

Elliott

Yandere

Described as a person that is very loving and affectionate to their loved one until it becomes a constant obsession leading them to become overprotective, violent, and psychotic towards anyone they deem a threat to their loved one, even the loved one themself

First of all his yandere mod was the scariest one yet like ooof

And while he does not seem like a violent person

He is a writer, which means he is some sort of delusional, creative, and or imaginative that I think he could have a mental break and carry out the things he imagines. 

We see that due to him being a writer, he is basically a hermit because all he does is stay in his cabin and write all day

Like yeah he's friends with Leah but how often do you think he actually leaves his home seeking interaction?

I feel like he would meet you and then suffer from a writers block and its your fault because now all he can think about is you

You're his muse

And due to that he becomes obsessive over you, no one else can have you he needs you at the very least more than they do.

Would 1000 percent stalk you, in his mind he's just watching over you to make sure nothing happens to you

Whether that be in town, on your farm, in the mines...he has to keep you closeby.

Speaking as a writer that does get very obsessed with things to the point of me changing what i write about and how often I think about or daydream about it

I think he is the most likely candidate for this kind of 'love' towards a person

Your imagination can delude your thinking, paired with living in a cabin alone with only your thoughts and silence it's no wonder he would be slightly insane.

Sam

Bakadere

Described as clumsy, stupid, and lacking in common sense when dealing with things in their life, but also very optimistic, and having a carefree, child-like innocence.

While this may seem like I'm roasting him I'm not

I do think he sometimes seems clumsy or dumb or even maybe like a teen especially because he's just playing guitar or skateboarding or playing video games

But there are glimpses of him being responsible and caring

Like how he actually had a job, even if it's part time

Or during his heart event when Vincent asks if their dad is going to come home before we find out that he indeed does come home

He covers his true feelings with optimism and happiness even if he's worried, which makes me think he fits this.

He only wants his loved one to be happy, and while constant optimism may seem or be annoying so certain people, he wants to be that light in your life.

And because he's so optimistic he is naturally kinder to others, while others like Sebastian, Shane, or Haley are standoffish when you meet them, Sam is sweet and is happy to meet you which translates well into getting to know you and then shifting into a romantic relationship

So while he may seem dumb to others, even to you with how positive he's being he's actually far from it even if he is a little reckless and clumsy sometimes

He turns down the constant optimism after getting together, but never stops being positive towards you, no matter if you succeed or fail, he's there to pick you up again with kind words and unwavering support.

Alex

Also Bakadere

but for a totally different reason

the dude is basically a himbo, though some of the things he says can be seen as iffy or mysogynistic

im pretty sure he doesn't mean any of it though, and while he can come off as dumb and out of touch he is shown to be sweet and caring and using his frat boy persona as a way of keeping people at an arms length

due to that i see him as similar but different to Sam

both boys seem kind of dumb, annoyingly optimistic, and sort of innocent in a way.

and both boys tend to use that as a surface personality, and until you actually take time to know them(Sam's worries, Alex's background and current worries) they seem like the type of people to be positive in any situation

Also seems as if he would take on a leader role simply because everyone voted for him to be it because of his positivity.

another thing is how certain(though inside he's not as) that he will become a gridball player.

Like the dude only talks positively about his dreams and is constantly working towards his goal

as well as we see in his dialogue that the farmer does indeed sometimes get annoyed at his words such as when he says things like "what why're you looking at me like that"

exactly as an anime character in this role would do.

Though after marriage is still sorta a dummy which is low key kinda cute.

[mulders-too-large-shirt]

s2 episode 24 thoughts

this episode was quite spooky. because cannibalism is real. but something about scully about to get her head chopped off and boiled seemed more outlandish than all the aliens and the guy that kills people with his shadow or even lizard man eugene tooms!

which is strange. because those things are pretty outlandish! maybe its because it was so much scarier than even evil lizard men.

let’s jump in:

so this is an episode involving more meat. did we need more meat, after the earlier meat processing content in s2 episode 10? many are saying no. but not chris carter!

we begin at a dirt road at night. in the state of arkansas. we have an older man and a younger woman named paula in a car, which is not suspicious at all! /s

oh and now the old man choking? is this natural or did she induce it with some poison. i mean maybe he deserved it, if she did. he takes some pills, so I’m guessing it is due to natural causes. now she beckons him out to the woods. 

into the woods. she says he has to catch her. is she luring him into a Bigfoot trap? we have yet to really see Bigfoot, and maybe he’s hungry. although Bigfoot is more Pacific Northwest than Arkansas, i think.

author's note: we tested negative for bigfoot in this episode :(

oh! this man tripped and is now surrounded by people with flashlights and very cool masks. get axe murdered, fucker.

back in DC! aforementioned fucker has been gone for 10 weeks and scully thinks the higher ups are sending them on a wild goose chase. “i’m not questioning the legitimacy of the case, just their motives in assigning it to us” <- damn, very well spoken by a rightfully suspicious woman

oh, but at the scene, someone saw a fire. and mulder says the fire is “supposed to be the spirits of massacred Indians” OH...

(mentally i was like, please do not be another scary Indigenous story episode. and we did in fact get that. sighs deeply. we can make things scary without making Indigenous people the scary ones! or using the trauma of genocide as a setting for spooky time! well, i'm sure you, dear reader, know that, so i shall not preach to the choir, but i will point out that these thoughts were going through my mind)

“these are only legends, mulder”, says a dismissive scully. and why is her hair looking excellent today. I mean not that it isn’t usually but damn. shoutout to the hair and makeup team.

the place on the side of the road where he went missing had a big fire! could be a bonfire, both parties thought. until mulder remembered a documentary he saw in college...

(hehehehe mulder spent college watching documentaries <3)

! MULDER LORE REVEAL ! wow it's been a while since i've gotten to format some text like that. he watched a documentary about an insane asylum in college and it gave him nightmares.

(and this may not be super relevant to his character, but to ME, it is, so i shall note it <3)

he's got the VHS from the doc all loaded up, and presses play on a guy rambling about a fire demon!! who was found in the same spot as the fire mark!!! dun dun dunnn 

(love the implication that he either purchased his own copy of the documentary that gave him nightmares in college, or had to go rent it from the video store. both are wonderful possibilities)

cut to arkansas. mulder is on the scene holding a plastic fork from the ground. wearing his silly sunglasses. lmaooo idk why they make me laugh. what a serious gentleman.

sheriff arrives at the scene. he says the witch’s peg to ward off spirits is normal there and also that the fire mark comes from illegal trash burning. and, as an American i am aware of how Americans love an illegal trash burn. but still. suspicious.

sheriff says the missing man george was chasing women out of town. lovely sounding fellow /s

wife questioning time!! he left her years ago. oh, but tea: the day before he went missing he was going to cite major health violations in the chicken plant! hmm... a cause for murder?

mulder gives the wife his phone number. also mulder is also looking very good today. but that is an evil voice in my head that ought to be silenced.

noooo, it's chicken plant time. no thank you ma’am, i would be out in the car <3

paula from the woods at work in the plant!!! taking mystery pills. seemingly in pain??

chicken cutting cam. oh, this is not for me! 

the agents chat with the manager, who says george was trying to shut them down. and while clocked in, paula is sweating. she just gasped in front of a whole bunch of chickens and some guy with very blue eyes. she sees a human head on the chicken stand and picks it up and throws it off. shoutout to this fake decapitated head and my best friends in the prop department for making such a funny creation.

(but of course, it was a hallucination, and she really just threw a poor chicken on the floor!!! his sacrifice was in vain... gone but not forgotten)

mulder is inspecting the chicken gutting operation and i've said it before and i'll say it again: he is braver than me. 

ohh, more chicken drama: george was filing a lawsuit about “line hypnosis” and it was dismissed before he vanished! he deserved to win. is there a meat processing union? there ought to be. but he was the only one citing bad health practices, the other 3 workers said it was fine... sooo what’s the truth…

“what’s that” asks mulder, who then gets shown the feed processor, and asks “chickens feed on chickens?” <- heartbreaking realization. many of us remember where we were when learning this information. i'm sure it will stick with him forever. and i'm frankly surprised he didn't know already.

NAURRR THE SLUDGE AND BLOOD nasty nasty evil

OH plot twist: paula is holding the manager with a knife to his throat… scully telling everyone to calm down. personally i would be not calm. she said “don’t get excited” but me? experiencing an active hostage situation at my place of work? i would be excited

NOOO the sheriff shot her and she fell into the feed conveyor belt processing… thing. sheriff i KNOW you are covering something up. you will not hide from me.

SHE GETS GULPED INTO THE FEED BELT THINGY GAGGG it’s giving the jungle by upton sinclair that caused many american 8th graders to confront the corruption of the meat industry

paula had gone to the doctor about headaches… like george!!! doctor had assumed the condition was stress induced. and they did have similar symptoms. 

treated them both with codine… ain’t that a bit strong?? this man doesn't seem to be a very good doctor, tbh. i mean i don't think the guy that works at the chicken plant to sew back on fingers needs to be an expert in everything but like. codine for headaches? umm girl.

mr. chaco of chaco’s chicken was paula’s grandfather… if i was a grandfather rich off of chicken money, my grandkids would not be working the processing line, let me tell u that much!

back to the agents: these two should not be looking as good as they do in a chicken processing plant. they had to really step it up today to compensate for the horrors of the set.

chicken man lives in a mansion. further evidence of corruption. paula, i would not have had you working in such conditions if i was your grandfather. there has been a deep wrong here, i can see already.

and he’s got a big hat and is feeding his chicken corn. not other chickens, like the feed he makes in his plant... seems he is aware of the ethical issues implied in his business. also, mulder with those weird ass glasses. 

cacho is going on about the subject of chickens. and how he built this town. he sure is taking an awful lot of credit for creating a town, pretty sure that's a team effort mr. chaco. he's also going on about how he thought george was trying to tear him down. 

AUTOPSY TIME!! rare degenerative disorder in da brain of paula. and scully has only seen it one other time back in med school because you can only really find it in an autopsy. nice work, doctor! <- i just typed “nice worm 🪱” so we'll let that stay for the added sense of whimsy it provides

but despite looking like a young girl fresh out of high school, paula was born in '48?! she was 47 years old. allegedly. this is not adding up. so they go on a quest to find her birth certificate and see what the truth is.

debrief in the car. so: odds are not great that she and george had the same very rare disease

during this discussion, our duo are run off the road by a chicken truck!!!! no! oh... he drove them into a river. mulder has shifted into rescue mode as the river is red with chicken gore. i feel someone might be distracting them and trying to get the body… (this was actually not the case i was just overly suspicious)

but more chicken drama: the driver had the same symptoms as george and paula! how can this be?!

“i just came up with a sick theory, mulder” (grabs her shoulder) “ooh, I’m listening” LMAOOOO this is sososo funny to me. yeah tell me ur sick theories scully you have my full attention.

GAG!! because it is both gross and shocking. her theory: what if someone put george’s body in the feed grinder, and then since it’s a prion disease, a chicken ate it, and someone ate a chicken, and it spread to the humans!!!! AHHHH! well that would be an epidemic, because they ship chickens out across the country… she glances knowingly, implying things could be very bad 

the river is filled with bird gore from the plant BLECH... who allows this??!! please say there are some modern regulations in place to prevent this being done irl.

mulder says he wants it dragged, thinking that maybe george is in there. and the sheriff is hesitant to do this. once again, i’m onto you, sheriff. i mean, a river full of chicken gore: it would be a good place to put a dead body.

and bam! a body is found. or rather. many many many bones. many bodies. and they are still going. damn.

so, we have a ton of bones. scully can put them into 9 distinct skeletons, one of which is in fact george. i love that she can do that, put the bones into distinct skeletons. she knows it's geroge from a pin in his femur!

“all of them share one, strange detail though” “well, they seem to have lost their heads” “… well, besides that” <- LMAOOOO idk why this was so funny to me... he really thought he picked up on something but he did Not.

here's the linking detail: all the bones are smooth and buffed like they have been polished. ??? who is polishing bones? it sure isn't me, i'll tell you that much. 

george’s wife is at the scene, learning her husband's body has been found, and she is sobbing. and the sheriff says “we’ll take care of you” now what does THAT mean? because it's not really sounding like the welcoming words of a man who is going to guide his neighbor through tragedy, and instead like there is something bigger at play here...

back at the plant, the doctor is mentioning another guy coming down “with the symptoms”…. omg. so this IS a known thing from the inside. mr. chaco knows but he isn’t doing anything about it!!!!! chicken dramaaaa goes crazy 

scully at the scene of all the bones, carrying a bucket of chicken. lmao. she is braver than me, for i would have gone vegan the first moment i set foot in chicken processing land.

mulder does some digging: 87 people have disappeared in the area in 50 years! that seems... a lot? and he thinks the same person or persons were responsible. he thinks they were EATEN!! boiled in a pot.

“they used similar evidence to prove cannibalism among on the Anasazi tribe of New Mexico” okay: 1. why do you know that 2. need to look into these allegations for myself and 3. Anasazi… that is the title of the next episode!!! what could this mean!! another cannibalism episode?!

scully is very sad to say that paula could have gotten sick from eating george :( girl I’m not convinced the chicken is clean put it down NOW 

cannibalism = eternal life? follow for more crazy mulder theories!

she puts aside the chicken……. good!

mr. chaco says “he’ll handle it” and george's wife doris arrives, saying she “can’t keep lying”… she says “she did it” (!!)

OH????? she... killed her husband? that is a bold thing to admit to.

“we’re gonna take good care of you”, says mr. chaco, which raises the question: are they a cannibal cult???? is that what he means when he mentions that he “built this town”???

now what the hell is going on. <- an interjection i stand by

mulder and scully are going to the courthouse to look at the papers and all the birth records are burnt!! doris calls mulder and says he’s afraid mr. chaco will kill her… they split up…. nooooo i hate splitting up!!! i watched so much scooby doo as a kid!

GASP! a guy in a mask like we saw at the very beginning of the episode is in doris' home!!! drumbeat playing while she screams…. overall, this is very not good, i wrote, referring to the use of Indigenous imagery for this murder, and also doris being murdered in the first place

scully at the scene of the murder ft. big ass flashlight. she gets in through the side door. gun: out. trench coat: open. looks: served. diagnosis: baby girl that could kill me, and i am respectful of the fact that she has this power yet refrains from using it on me.

mulder at mr. chaco’s house. mr. chaco has some… stuff in his home. including photos with Indigenous people and also bones. having human bones in your house, and especially on display, is not a good sign of ethics in play. and a skull. Oh! it says the skull is from a tribe in New Guinea... why tf does he have that. put it back???

at the back of chaco's parlor, we see a mysterious door. mulder is busting it open.

LORD ALMIGHTY, I DID NOT THINK THERE WOULD BE HEADS INSIDE??? HELLO???

so that must be where all of the heads that mulder noticed were missing have gone. they're sewn up sort of like shrunken heads. very spooky. once again, pour one out for the props department for such a creation.

noooo chaco is in the house with scully, who was investigating the call of doris. NOOOO HE KNOCKED HER OUT!!! this seriously needs to stop happening like i'm worried about the brain damage she is experiencing.

back to mulder cam. goodness. all of these heads. 

in a field now. doctor is serving some soup. to a bunch of people. who are eating around a big bonfire. do NOT tell me scully is in that meal....

she is not. YET! but he is bringing her over to be roasted. and they ate doris! chaco is yelling about turning on each other and how they were only supposed to eat outsiders. girl you shouldn't be eating anybody last time i checked. 

man in the mask shows up with an axe. and chaco is decapitated in front of scully. who is put into the decapitation thingy next. GIRL THIS IS FUCKED UP!!!

mulder on the scene, just in time. he shoots the dude in the mask.

“you alright?” he asks, brushing her hair back after lifting her out of the decapitation machine. my good friend, i would venture to guess that she is not quite alright at the moment!!! this will take an awful lot of unpacking!!!

sigh. but the tenderness of the near death experience. coming back to life in someone's arms. yeah i'll romanticize that.

TEA!!! the sheriff was the one under the mask!!!!!! i knew he was up to no good.

wrap up: chicken place shut down. unclear how many citizens of the town ate people. 27 have become ill with prion disease. chaco’s plane was shot down in 1947, and he spent 7 months with a cannibalistic tribe, and also he was born in 1902, so he was 93 at his death- so the cannibalism really WAS extending life. and we see some more feed being scooped to the chickens as scully says his remains have yet to be found. end scene.

HUH???? what in da hell. so what are we thinking kids…?

well, i'll tell you something: turns out i am afraid of cannibal cults, no matter how outlandish they seem! i guess when you get a villain or evil situation of the week show like this, you WILL learn exactly what kind of fear pushes your buttons. i can imagine almost nothing scarier than being led to the slaughter like scully was. seems a purposeful commentary on the meat industry, especially when taken in with the other meat episode this season.

so, if i were scully, i do think i would need to take a week or so off. but she is just built different than i am.

some things bugged me here. first of all, like i mentioned, you don't need to throw in Indigenous people to make a scary story. like is the thought of a bunch of arkansas cannibals not horrific enough? the scary was there!

second, i have not been doing a kidnapping count, but i feel that scully is getting the rough of the deal here. i believe in gender equality when it comes to characters being kidnapped. like, an even 1:1 ratio. why are we denying mulder his damsel in distress arc? does anyone think about how he would feel? how nice it would be to see scully burst in with a gun and shoot the fellow that was about to cannibalize him?

still, it is rare an episode actually spooks me, so i must give credit where it is due. even if it felt a little outlandish, your girl was frightened! scully needs a vacation now. i also thoroughly laughed at the sick theories line and his funny sunglasses.

it's funny to note, but i like the episodes that are either very silly and light hearted, or incredibly angsty the best. and that may seem contradictory, but you cannot tell me that one breath and humbug may be on opposite ends of the tone spectrum, but they are both objectively Perfect. i'll have to think more on why they are the best in my opinion, but i think honestly i would watch these two read the dictionary.

[lily-alphonse]

OKAY ONE MORE RAREPAIR FROM ME but I feel like I had to send you Gus+Elliott / Gulliott /CookBook :>

COOKBOOK OUR BELOVED

THANK YOU I'M DYING TO INFODUMP ABOUT THIS ONE

I would write an entire longfic for these two if I had the time. I have such messy ideas. CW mention of eating disorder, religious trauma, trans issues (Elliott has had a hard life ok thats why we're giving him happiness)

OK SO

Elliott Backstory (aka all of my insane Elliott headcanons)

Elliott is trans FTM, originally named 'Emma' in a religious family so past is MESSY and traumatic ✨

Begged to go to bible college and was given money for it and just disappeared, using the money to make it to the city (and maybe also top surgery, either way he's had top surgery by the time he makes it to Pelican Town)

Slowly established a new life in the city doing whatever work he could and living as a man now

Always hated the city though and wanted something more rustic to chase his dreams of being a writer

Finally took the plunge when he turned 30 and had a bit of a crisis about it, basically like yeah it's great to be myself now but am I really, when I am crushed by the monotony of the city?

Like he was working so much to try to afford his shitty apartment and testosterone he didn't even have any friends

Also he's anorexic did I mention that lol he does not have a healthy relationship with food. Hates having to stop working to eat, hates cooking, has body dysmorphia for multiple reasons alright

Gus Backstory Using the same backstory from the Gus/Willy rarepair post, he grew up in the city. Part of the down-low queer scene, he had a few boyfriends. A couple of them felt like they could have been true love until reality hit, and there was nothing true about it. He found love in his passions instead, in cooking and found family in a place where life moved slower. Let's make him older like 40s (teehee age gap my beloved STOP I know I'm making it messier deal with it they're both fully adults whatever! I actually headcanon him being in his early 50s so this is already a compromise)

It takes some time for them to properly meet, because Elliott's ID still has his deadname. (He hasn't had the money to do all the legal work to change it and/or he just legally can't change it without a full sex change. But either way his ID still shows him as being a woman.) He could hope that the saloon owner is cool and won't require ID, it is a small town after all. The anxiety over it is enough to keep him away from the saloon for several months after moving there though. He keeps to himself until he can't, because he's started making friends and they wonder why he won't join them for a drink at the saloon.

He makes an excuse that he doesn't really like to drink even though he most definitely does, but Willy argues that he can always just come for the food. Gus is a great cook after all. The thought of food not from the gas station, that he doesn't have to cook himself, is appealing.

In a realization of his worst nightmare, Gus does need to see his ID. Elliott tries to make an excuse but it starts to get awkward. He swallows his fear and gives it to him with a slight tremor in his hand. There's a clear moment of hesitation on Gus' part where he stares at it, but then it's as if nothing happened, the smile back on his face and he hands the ID back to him facedown.

Elliott wants to cry. From relief, from terror, he doesn't know. All of it. The last thing he wants is to be outed in this place that had started to feel like home for once. He gets super wasted to try to deal with it, and stays in his cabin for days waiting for the fallout. The gossip. The world to come crashing down on him. But it doesn't.

Actually the only thing that comes is a knock at the door a few days later. To Elliott's embarrassment, it's Gus. He brushes his hair in a hurry and plasters a smile on his face to answer the door.

Gus seems a little shy, which isn't like him. Gus is bubbly and talkative, usually. But maybe he's just hot from the walk. And the takeout bag in his hands.

"Hello Gus."

"Hi Elliott, um, I hope this isn't a bad time..."

"No, how can I help you?" Elliott leans against the doorway in what he hopes is a casual, unaffected manner. Gus steals furtive glances at Elliott's neck, his hands.

He definitely glanced. Why would he glance?

Gus is gay. Oh my Yoba Gus is gay.

"I was hoping to catch you in the saloon but I haven't seen you since the other night and uh.. I just want to let you know you're safe with me -- here, I mean, you're safe, here. You have friends here."

Elliott is overcome with a myriad of emotions and for once, most of them good. But he is incredibly torn on whether to pull at this thread that has Gus stuttering. It has been a long time since he's had someone so cute in his clutches. But he packs that away for now, letting the relief through instead.

"Thank you. That means a lot, actually... would you like to come in?"

AND THEN they fall in love and its a little messy because they both have their own hangups to overcome but they are so good together because Elliott has a facade up with the rest of the world and wants everyone to like him but goes about it the wrong way, and Gus wears his heart on his sleeve and everyone does love him but he also struggles with setting boundaries and self-love. And they'd have some fights about food but Gus would come to understand his limits and work with him and show him cooking can be fun and everything, GUYS IM SO NORMAL ABOUT THEM IM SO NORMAL (not hyperventilating at all, very casual)

Send me any Stardew Valley rarepair and I will tell you how I would make them work! (Even non-marriage npcs) If youre lucky you may get a mini fic out of it. Check the list below to see if Ive already answered yours

Rarepair Masterlist

[atmilliways]

Wrong On The Money (28)

part 28 of ?? | 862 words | Teen+

Blackmail fic on Ao3 | on tumblr

Summary:

The next time Dustin visits, Eddie goes out of his way to agree that, okay, sure, Steve is pretty great. Dustin is ecstatic, bragging about how he knew they would be friends if they gave each other a chance. Steve himself dozes through the start of the conversation, but Eddie is pretty sure he wakes up with a smile, so who knows.

Happy Monday, have some idiots. (affectionate)

28.

And with that, the floodgates have broken.

-

The next time Dustin visits, Eddie goes out of his way to agree that, okay, sure, Steve is pretty great. Dustin is ecstatic, bragging about how he knew they would be friends if they gave each other a chance. Steve himself dozes through the start of the conversation, but Eddie is pretty sure he wakes up with a smile, so who knows.

-

When Robin stops by, Eddie name drops a possible mutual friend. Her eyes go big and her mouth drops into an O before she rounds on Steve and hisses, “Dingus, I know you’re on medication but did you tell him?”

“What? No,” Steve yelps, eyes flashing back and forth between them in sudden confusion. “I mean—” and oh god, his poker face is laughable, whoever dubbed this guy Mr. Cool was hilariously wrong “—uh, no? Told him what? I don’t know anything.”

Eddie smirks and cuts in with a smooth, “Nah, he’s innocent as a little baby. It just takes one to know one, Bucks.” (He’ll come clean to her about the blackmail some day, but. . . not without the ability to book it out of there in the event of nuclear rage.)

They bond over laughing at Steve for sputtering that he is not a little baby, he was a whole nine pounds at birth—

-

Lucas stops in again, between visits with Max, and Eddie clears the air about the end of the last Hellfire campaign.

“But look,” he concludes, after apologizing for cutting him out, “if it ever comes up again, don’t have your friends try to make the reschedule happen for you, ‘kay? Being there to plead your case is a much better look, and shows a lot more respect for everybody else’s time. Catch me, or . . . whoever runs the club next year, between classes or something.”

The kid nods, saying he will, and after he’s gone Steve peers over at him.

“Are you finally going to graduate this year, Munson?” A little coil of hurt starts to form in Eddie’s chest, only to be immediately unwound when Steve beams at him. “That’s great, man, congratulations! Maybe ‘86 is your year after all.”

“It's not,” Eddie mumbles, face reddening—except for where a livid scar already crawls up the side of his cheek. The stitches only came out of it yesterday. “I missed finals, so it depends whether good ol’ Hawkins High decides to send me off in victory or disgrace, which. . . .” He sighs. “Let’s just say that there’s already a precedent, and it ain’t the good option.”

“Oh come on, if they let me graduate they can let you graduate too,” Steve argues. “I racked up two concussions and a shit-ton of missed days in senior year because of migraines.” (And yeah, Eddie remembers his comment about how he’d helped Wayne and ‘didn't even get another concussion doing it.’ Jesus H. Christ.) “You nearly died, and as far as this town knows it’s because a mob came at you with torches and pitchforks! They can cut you some slack.”

“They won’t.”

“I can call my parents,” Steve offers, and holy shit he looks serious. “My mom’s super respected by the school board. If I promise to move out so they can sell the house, I’m sure she’d do me a favor.”

Eddie winces. “Steve. Where would you live if you did that?”

“With you and Wayne,” he replies, as though it’s the most obvious thing in the world and totally not causing Eddie’s brain to self-destruct. “The government’s giving you guys a house, and I’ve spent the past couple months pre-paying on rent.”

“I. . . .” Eddie blinks. A pretty boy is asking to live with him. A pretty boy he threatened for money, for months, is asking to live with him, even knowing what he did and that he’s a flaming homosexual. “Are you sure you don’t have another concussion?”

“Yeah, nothing got me in the head this time. Why?”

Why. Jesus H. Christ, this guy. “Steve,” Eddie says gravely, “You might be insane. Sweet . . . but insane.”

Steve smiles. “You think I’m sweet?”

“Oh my god.”

-

The thing is, Eddie knows Steve is sweet. In kind of a bitchy way—he’s half convinced the guy plays it a little dumber than necessary sometimes just to wind him up. But that, Eddie's embarrassed to admit to himself, is part of the appeal. Steve keeps him on his toes, which is generally where Eddie likes to be anyway. It’s fun.

But. 

Okay. 

So, he might be falling for Steve Harrington. 

He just can’t see how Steve could ever feel the same. And it’s fine, they can be friends. Shit, with how much half the town still probably hates his guts, Eddie needs all the friends he can get—and he’s got a lot now.

Helping save the world will do that, it seems. 

So Eddie has to kill this crush before it gets any more off the ground than it already has. Kill it with fire, because he doesn’t need an actual rejection (that Steve would be sweet about, fuck) to know that Eddie Munson doesn’t get the guy. Not like that. 

Being friends is fine.

[erichalk]

My Flying House Headcanons!!

(I hope you like it because I tried to make them as accurate as possible)

-Actually I have no idea what Justin could be descent of yet

-Angie and Corky are both of Scottish descent

- They all live in the USA lol

- Angie and Justin are around 12/14 years old. Corky is 4 or 5. Prof. Bumble is around his 40s. SIR has no age, but is adult coded - probably around his 30s then

- Justin, Angie and Corky go out a LOT and basically the whole town they live in knows them

- Justin and Angie both really like sports (mostly basketball) and they play together almost every day. They don't really let Corky join them anymore though because, the last time they did, that goddamn baby was able to break the neighbor's window = D

- Even after they were able to get back to the 20st century, the kids still visit Prof. Bumble pretty often. Maybe they even end up traveling somewhere else... next stop: ANCIENT GREECE!

- Ok this has something to do with their travel to the New Testament — I REALLY like to think that Jesus was very well aware that the children were from the future because, y'know, He is Jesus

- SIR really likes listening to jazz, blues, bossa nova... all that stuff!!! he is a man of culture <3

- Prof. Bumble loves anything that is astronomy related. Planets. Stars. Blah blah.

- Whenever SIR gets extremely angry or nervous he begins to glitch. A lot

- Justin and Angie are not dating, BUT they do have feelings for each other and absolutely hate admitting to it lol. I'd say it's more of a childhood crush thing, nothing serious - they mostly love each other as friends

- Continuing the previous topic, all best friends have their ups and downs I guess... that's why Justin and Angie occasionally fight over the stupidest motives ever (sometimes Corky joins in somehow).

- Ironically enough, Professor Bumble is really really good at cooking (this is canon actually but-); man even owns a recipe book. Sure he burns some stuff now and then but who cares? Also he hates admitting to knowing how to cook because he does not want to look too "casual" since he's, well, a scientist.

- SIR's writing looks all cursive and fancy I think that's comedic sorry

- Since SIR works on solar energy, he may feel more tired at night — Although, there are times where he is able to stay up until morning.

- SIR just- shouts random proverbs from the Bible out of nowhere. Okay most of the time it's because he feels like giving a lecture to Prof. Bumble for whatever reason (and Bumble does not care at ALL)

- Professor Bumble likes using his... intelligence to build some really random stuff that are basically useless. For example a machine that peels bananas =^D

- Justin owns a cereal toy collection. It's still kind of small, but he's proud of himself B)

- While they were in the New Testament, I like to think that SIR would tell bedtime stories to the children so they could fall asleep :^]

- There were times when Angie, Justin and Corky stayed up until morning sun playing and doing random stuff... like a slumber party! And doodling/writing random things on SIR's face while he is asleep! YAY!

- Angie and Justin are like super best friends. Listen let me insert the Spongebob and Patrick dynamic into my favorite characters

(Will update if needed)

(some of the) Headcanons that include my OC — B-888 — !

- Both SIR and Bea act like parents to the children while they're still stuck in the New Testament.

- Bea often gets super mad at Prof. Bumble because he is really irresponsible with the children lol. She knows that he cares about them though but oh well

- Bea probably had to knit some clothes for the children me thinks. LIKE shirts with their names and cool patterns that stuff lol--

- Also also Bumble, SIR and Bea would kind of work like a trio...?? THAT WOULD BE COOL me thinks part 2

- YES Bea and SIR are dating but they mostly act like best friends. SIR likes calling Bea his "wife" tho

I'm too embarrassed to continue this one I'm sorry for making you cringe let me be happy 💥

[clivedovelover]

Very politely but sorry i was referring to ur oc aus i saw on the other blog 😭😭😭

IM FINALLY ANSWERing THIS ONE BECAUSE I REALIZED I CaNT ACTUALLY do A COOL THING FOR EVERY AU

Hello sorry i think 4 months passed since this ask was sent i'm kissing you on the forehead anon i'm sorry

Okay so there are 3 AU's or so, i'm still thinking of doing more in relation of these main 3 but i don't know!!

Folie a Deux

I don't have this one super elaborated. I just wanted an AU where Valentine beats the shit out of Clive daily

Basically is an AU where pretty much everything stays the same at first (clive blowing up london, Valentine's mom dying) but in relation of both characters they are more morally dubious, Clive goes to prison but he manages to made it appear as if he killed himself there, and then he runs away with another identity to avoid his sentence.

Valentine thinks, in this AU too, about how clive freed him from his mother and, in some percentage, they both were meant to meet. He doenst feel guilty about these thoughts (not like the original who does feel bad about thinking like that). He also doesn't believe the news about this guy killing himself in prison, he feels so upset about it and takes it as a personal attack, Valentine decides to start investigating about that, mostly because he got a fixation with Clive after the destroying of the city.

One way ir another he finds out that Clive is alive, in an almost empty town. As a said before both of them are more morally dubious SO yknow lol. Valentine's mom is dead and Graciella isn't being really helpful, he doesn't have friends or anyone who is close to him so what he has to loss?

Valentine kidnaps Clive on his own place, knowing no one would look up for him and does shitty stuff to him from time to time, but mostly just keeps him at his mercy. Clive develops Stockholm syndrome

Puppy Love

I guess the name is self explanatory, kind of.

Valentine is 14 and Clive is 17, valentine moves to London way earlier in his life. Graciella is a teen here too with the same age as Clive, they are classmates.

I did this one because i wanted something more light hearted and also because i wanted Renata (Valentine's mom) to interact with Clive in some way.

Valentine is still a lonely kid but at least has Graciella as his friend since is the only other argentinian person on his school.

Graciella doesn't like Clive and Clive doesn't mind her, they just team up when it's needed because it's easier to work with the other.

Valentine has a crush with Clive, and it's silly. He's also 14 because i was that age when i found out about Clive and Professor Layton games hehdhehhe

Im not sure how i want for this one to end, but since it's an AU i can give Clive a happier ending? Maybe

Elope

Again, i'm sooooo creative with the names

It's the same as the original story but it ends different, Clive doesnt kill himself and accepts to run away with Valentine, again lying about his own death. Valentine just leaves a letter for Graciella and she doesn't make the report to the police

They run away to the same town as the Folie a Deux AU and have a pretty calm and nice life, they change their names and formalize a relationship after some time.

Valentine becomes an art and theater teacher for the people of the town and Clive takes care of the house most of the time (for safety reasons mainly)

[poisonedspider]

Taking a brief brain break before hopping back into drafts. Mostly because Dumblr is the worst and isn't accurate so I was like woooo I'm almost done then suddenly ALL THESE OTHER REPLIES SHOWED UP? So I was like...I'm gonna go find my Hazbin trading cards I got from the preshow pack. I remember getting them and being like who the fuck are half these people, though I screamed that I got Angel. Now that I've seen the show, I'm going to go through them and here is my stupid break down of them.

Oh hey, the first two cards that fell out when I opened the box were Angel and Husk. I didn't even ship them back then so I didn't intentionally place them together. Meant to be.

Sinners is such a generic card. Like wow, thanks for that trading pack. Glad I can just have all the sinners in Hell apparently.

Little did I know when I got these cards how much of a boner I would have for Vox. I am happy as hell that I have this card, but back then I was like who tf is this random ass television man.

Charlie's pitchfork. ITS HOLOGRAPHIC. That is all.

There's a Velvette card? I mean, of course there is, but I don't even remember seeing that when I opened this six months ago.

Cannibal town plaza. I remember getting all these items and locations and being like I DONT CARE but now that I am connected to them it's kind of cool actually.

....another fucking Charlie's pitchfork, only this time it isn't holographic so fuck that boring shit.

Katie Killjoy. Not only is she a cunt, but she's a cunt that barely got any screen time in the season so I think we need more of her.

The parlor. Who the fuck calls it that? I've just been calling it the hotel lobby. This isn't a game of CLUE. No one got murdered in the parlor with the butcher knife.

Sir Pentious' ray gun. I'd like this card more if I felt a strong connection to Pentious. It's growing because of @sirserpentine but before that I was like...I do not like this character I do not want this card.

Mimzy. Her boobs look really great on the card, gotta say. I think getting this card made me feel like she would play a bigger role. Maybe she was supposed to, because let's be real, her part of the song makes zero sense.

OH MY GOD THERE'S A SUSAN CARD> Going through these post-show versus pre-show is a fucking TRIP.

Moaning at the fact that I have a Lucifer Morningstar card.

Woooo Vaggie, and she is ALSO holographic. Should I pair her with the pitchfork? Also do I have the whole main cast? Guess we will find out.

Tom Trench. He can go hang with the Katie card. The only reason I like him is because he clearly watches Angel's work.

ANGELS TOMMY GUN. I did not appreciate this card as much back then, but I do now. Especially since trying to find a prop tommy gun for my cosplay has been ridiculously challenging.

Sir Pentious! Yay! Almost the entire main cast. The preshow deck came with....three decks? I think? So I still have quite a few to go. Making strides.

I remember getting this Loan Shark card and being like....the fuck are you. The only reason he even matters to me is because he wants to bang Angel in the club and we think that's kind of hot.

Shrunken head keychain. Knowing that this is what Charlie gifts Vaggie from her trip to Cannibal Town actually makes this card kind of sweet. I think before I assumed there was a correlation with Alastor.

Hazbin Hotel. Wow. It has its own card. Its like the entire show is named after it or something.

ANOTHER ray gun, only this time it's holographic as well! What is with all the weapons being holos? Give me more holo characters.

Winners. You know, until I started roleplaying here, I didn't realize they were actually called that? I know Adam says it in the song, but I thought it was just because he meant sinners were all losers, not that winners was actually their title.

Charlie Morningstar. C'mon card deck, only a few to go. Also this picture of her on the card looks super weird, and I honestly prefer her pilot name, don't at me.

Heaven's courthouse. Since this is one of my favorite scenes in the entire series, I'll accept it.

Lute. I don't remember this card at all. Now that I know all the characters, I'm glad I have this card as well. I just wish it would have her without the mask because gosh is she beautiful.

Razzle and Dazzle. RIP.

The heaven embassy. Not going to lie, I'm kind of over these location cards. I'm running out of cards and I am still missing some characters I love. I would rather have those.

Moneyshot. Angel literally rolled his eyes at the card and threw it.

Adam. Okay, okay, so the deck has every boy I plan on cosplaying, which I can appreciate....

...but guess I need to buy more decks because I DONT EVEN HAVE ALASTOR!? And it's a crime to not have Valentino (Angel is gagging don't mind him) but have the other Vees.

[kwori]

‼️jort 2 update because its been nearly 2 weeks and hes been through a lot‼️

kinda annoyingly long so its under the cut

ok so jort 2 was doing fine till i had loads of art hw for gcse (help) and so i did that and ignored all of jort 2's cries for help. then after that to reward myself for finishing like one (1) evaluation bc i wasnt feeling motivated i played slime rancher for 2-3 hours maybe (side rant i love my slimes theyre so silly<333 my favourites are the honey and plant ones because when they merge theyre so pretty<33 i also love phosphor slimes and i need to make a lantern of them for my room or something because i should start a shrine)

anyway.

so jort 2 was sick and i didnt cure him in time and he started beeping like the heart rate monitors do as someones heart is slowing which i feel is a little morbid but he died. i think i apologised on my last post in the notes

the caption aged badly but yeah

so i needed name ideas and luckily his death presented the perfect opportunity as @moon-inspector suggested jelly so thank you<3

then i lost the tamagotchi.

id taken him out when i went in town with my friends a couple of times and i thought he might have fallen out of my tote bag next to a bench and i was really upset because he was £20 and also he was really cool (and also i lost something and was about to cry but fear of crying in public saved me🔥🔥🔥🔥) so i was sad :c

then me and my family went to the countryside and i got to do hiking which is super epic and i touched so much grass and lo and behold who was in my coat pocket but jort 2 himself (technically his corpse) but i found him yay

then my friend taught me how to mute him because one time he woke me up at night and while trying to do that i accidentally hatched one but because i wasnt intending to he kinda died (that wasnt jelly tho that was jort 2.5 because i want to give jelly a long and fulfilling life)

so that concludes the adventures of jort in the past 2 weeks ish where i forgot/ couldnt be bothered to update bc i had other things to do (watching youtube videos)

ill probably hatch jelly like tomorrow

[gisxlles]

(JASMIN HOPPE, CIS WOMAN, SHE/HER) - is GISELLE BRANDT late to class again? how does the 21 year old JUNIOR expect to get their degree in DIGITAL MEDIA? professors say that they are AFFECTIONATE but i heard that they are TRACTABLE. hopefully they’ll make it to graduation! ooc: hi all! i'm marie and i'm super excited to get to know all your characters. i have to hop off for a work event (and will probably be lurking on mobile) but i'll be back on tonight to read over intros & reach out to plot. speaking of, if you want to plot with giselle, give this a like & i'll message you!!

basics.

full name: giselle marie brandt

nickname: gigi

age: twenty-one

dob: february 28, 2000

hometown: timber creek, ma

ethnicity: thai & german

sexuality: bicurious

languages: english (fluent), thai (fluent), german (conversational)

appearance.

faceclaim: jasmin hoppe

hair color: brunette with lighter brown/dark blonde highlights

eye color: brown

height: 5'5

tattoos: a small b&w tattoo of a flower on her left outer wrist

piercings: just her ears are pierced

family.

mother: chalita somsi

father: henri brandt

pets: shepard brandt (a grey british shorthair cat)

background.

the brandt family is considered something akin to royalty within timber creek; the family establishing it's roots in the town since the beginning. their name coming to be through successful business ventures, the most notable being the opening of timber creek university. the man who was to inherit the business and the woman he married (who his family wasn't fond of) didn't expect to welcome a bundle of joy into the world so soon but here came giselle. she brought a happiness to the couple and hopes that this child could fix their marital problems. how naive of them to think that though. the cheating continued on henri's part and chalita struggled with this loneliness for years. giselle was oblivious to it all. her views of being a princess esque figure in this fairytale life she was living clouding what was in front of her. her fairytale came crashing down when she was ten. her mother had enough of this life and filed for divorce. her father got custody of giselle but she saw her mother part of the summer and for some holidays. the little girl couldn't understand what happened to the love between her parents she thought she'd seen through the years. how could it just disappear? how did her family break? giselle grew older. henri remarried (but still struggled with infidelity). they were a new family. with that, giselle finally got a glance of what her mother was put through. she never wanted to be put through that so she vowed to forget about the whole storybook love she once wanted. a love life that only consisted of hookups, one night stands with strangers, or fake dates to appease her parents. as giselle enters her junior year at timber creek uni, she still struggles with what she wants out of life. when you've been given everything you've ever wanted in life, what more could you ask for?

headcanons.

even after everything, giselle is still a daddy's girl. it helps that he spoils her with anything she wants.

one of her favorite things to do is ice skate. it's something she use to do with her mother a lot growing up and she's pretty good at it. maybe not olympic level good but she's earned a couple medals & trophies.

her other favorite thing to do is play video games. it's her way to de-stress / when she wants to be alone. her fave game is probably mass effect (hence her cat's name).

wanted.

step - sibling (wanted connection on main)

fake boyfriend (wanted connection on main)

the trinity - give me a cute little trio of besties that are always there for each other. pls let me know if u are interested in this! (nora vogel & OPEN)

family friends - the brandts are well known so maybe our families know each other

tutor - giselle isn't the greatest when it comes to schoolwork so she probably needs help in a class or two

ice skating partner - she does pairs so it would be cool to have a partner here

the co-op couch - someone who will play video games with her. they bring the snacks and she provides the drinks and they play all night long.

the set up - giselle humored her parents one time and went on a date with someone they set her up with and it was y/c. they did NOT hit it off and it ended in disaster.

the puppeteer - giselle is pretty gullible so maybe someone is manipulating her for something? that could be fun!

hookups / one night stands - giselle avoids relationships but she's all for hooking up and leaving in the middle of the night.

the one who got away - this person is probably the closest one to get giselle to admit to some feelings. she really liked them but refused to acknowledge it and sabotaged whatever was between them. a regret of hers.

girl crush - giselle's never dated or hooked up with a woman before but she is curious about it. she finds y/c attractive but doesn't know if she is bisexual?

rivals - sporting rivals could be fun! giselle does tennis and ice skating and maybe they are always trying to one up each other.

ex-friends - the two used to be close but something happened which caused their friendship to end??

enemies - someone who just does not like giselle and giselle doesn't like them.

really i'm open to any & all ideas so if you have something that giselle could fill, throw it my way to discuss!!

[3terna15unshin3]

Then Because She Goes

I wake up, love you, so love you, love you

★ Chapter 5 of 15, 4926 words

★ Matty Healy x Original Female Character

★ warnings: alcohol consumption

<< 4

25 December, 2018

The holidays were celebrated peacefully and with tons of food, in the Manansala family. Este’s mum and dad spent the day cooking all of her favourite Filipino food for an early Christmas dinner, then enjoyed a classic roast dinner the next afternoon on Boxing Day. 

Well-fed and happy to be back home to hang out with their family dog Dano (a mellow golden retriever, named after Este’s obsession with the film Little Miss Sunshine), she had a relaxing holiday. And, as much as the regressive feeling of staying in her childhood house sort of stressed her out, Este took advantage of her last couple of days off of work by not making many plans. 

That was until she got a message from Matty. He always hopped around for Christmas, since his own friends and family were messily dispersed between London and the north countryside. He and the rest of the band were allowed a holiday break from rehearsals, so he spent late December basking in the calm before the storm. Matty knew he’d eventually be in Manchester with some free time. So, he decided to send Este a text. 

Their conversation had graduated to iMessage after Matty suggested the idea that night in Kingston. As nice as their budding friendship had been, he found himself thinking of Este with affection. How she could make him laugh both on purpose and by accident, the way her hair sat lazily on the edges of her face, her love for books and her skill for allowing other people to experience what she feels when reading them. 

So, he considered maybe asking her on a date. But the idea of that scared Matty—the formality of asking, the possibility of rejection. When trying to assume if she felt the same way, he was coupled with uncertainty, but he reached out anyway.

Este

Tue, 25 Dec at 13:02 PM

Merry Christmas x

Free to grab coffee on the 28th? 6 ish?

I’ll be in town that evening, if u are up for it

Only a couple of messages were sent between them since the album release party. Este, of course, showered him in flattery after first listening to it, whole-heartedly impressed by his work. Since Matty’s drunk words were sober thoughts that night, he really did care about Este’s opinion of him. He bubbled with joy when reading her messages. If she was telling the truth, that is. But Matty didn’t take her as a liar.

It had been busy for both of them; Matty was doing press for the month following A Brief Inquiry’s release and rehearsing for tour, while Este, Sam, and Oliver were dealing with the pre-holiday retail craziness. With that in mind, Matty was surprised to get a fairly quick response from her.

Este

Tue, 25 Dec at 14:10 PM

28th is my first day back to work :( off at 8 as usual

But we can do something afterwards if that's not too late?

And Merry Christmas to you too x hope you’re enjoying a break from the craziness

I am thank you !

I could just come by and hang out while u work bc I love it there Lol

Unless it’ll be busy I can just meet you there after close

That would be lovely! It’s always super slow the week after Christmas anyway

Everyone’s too busy raiding the big shops for the sales

ok cool I’ll probably show around 6:30

I need to chat to ur face about the album too :P

You’ve said enough about the album Este bloody hell

I don’t think I can take another compliment

Ego been fed enough lately?

Yeah actually thanks

Trying to learn how to be humble

Thank god x

✴ 28 December, 2018

A bay of colourful spines stared at Este as she stood in the Teen Fiction section trying to help a middle-aged mum find a book for her daughter. Every fragment of her teenage memories that popped into her mind felt outdated or not the right fit for the customer. 

“I find that she’s rarely challenged with the books she reads, you know? I want her to really fall into the trance of a novel, have it leave an effect on her. I don’t think a book has done that for her yet,” the mum explained passionately.

Este thought back to the moments she felt that way for a book. One she read a couple of years ago—when she was definitely too old to do so—came up. Its heavy subject matter and vast symbolism and imagery struck her. Her hands picked the familiarly bright blue book. 

“This one’s called Challenger Deep. I read it well into my twenties, but it explores topics I think other teen fiction writers refuse to explore. A little heavy, but for the right purpose. I think your daughter would love it, if she feels really deeply, like me.”

The mother, Orla, spent another 25 minutes chatting with Este about the intensity of being a teenager in the state of the world. A phenomenon the book shop worker never got sick of was getting a peek into the lives of the people of Manchester. Este felt like every time someone new walked into the shop, she got to know her city a bit better.

“Thank you again, Este. You’ve been lovely,” said Orla after checking out the novel for her daughter. Her boots then stepped out of the shop and into the breezy evening air.

The quiet day continued, piles of books slowly getting sorted through and reorganised. Matty, of course, was on her mind. Este watched the clock as 6:30 neared, but no text came through from him yet. She was hoping he wouldn’t catch her while deep in conversation with another customer, or (embarrassingly) struggling to carry a stack of books.

Once 6:50 rolled around, Este finally heard from him.

matty

Fri, 28 Dec at 18:49 PM

Sorry im already late

Just left late tbh

Lol ur fine

Do you like bubble tea??

You realise I’m Asian right???? course I like bubble tea

and you don’t have to bring anything! I’m okay

Omg you’re asian I would have ever guessed

Shut up and tell me your order

Matcha milk tea with pearls pls

Thank you xx

Ok gonna be even more late now but u know why so

Matty didn’t end up walking through the front door until quarter past seven. “There he is,” commented Este.

He held the two bubble tea drinks, one in each hand, raising them both in celebration. “I made it,” he said, handing her the green one. “Only 40 minutes late!”

After thanking him, Este took hers to the counter to set it down and puncture the top with the pointy side of the straw. Matty did the same. She looked at his drink, taking note of its purple colour. “You like taro?”

He looked at her, confused. “Yes? Should I not like taro?”

A laugh escaped from her lips and she shook her head no. “You should. I love taro. Just surprised, that’s all,” she admitted without elaborating. 

“You’re surprised because I’m white and uncultured and should be picking, like, strawberry or something, aren’t you?” 

“I didn’t say that.”

✴

Matty carried over a metal stool from the back room to set it next to the one Este sat on. Together, they sat behind the counter, sipping on their teas and chewing up the boba. 

“Can you let me say one more thing about the album? So I can just get it out and then move on?” asked Este. Matty sat on her left, fidgeting with the spinning seat of his stool, swivelling back and forth over and over; while she sat still and faced him fully.

“Okay, fine. This is your last chance.”

She smiled, happy to be able to get her last point out. “My favourite track isn’t Love It If We Made It, like you’d think.”

“Really? What is it then?”

“I Couldn’t Be More In Love.”

Matty looked back at her for a second, shocked. “Tell me why.”

“It sort of feels like being down on your knees and screaming at the sky. And it sounds really guttural. Your voice carries with so much urgency. I love its composition too, with the twinkly 90s sounding keys and saxophone solo and key change. It has all the elements of a standard, a perfected and refined sound—that almost holds down the rawness of the vocal.”

His swivelling gradually slowed to a halt as Este spoke. She had pointed out every aspect of the song that Matty loved, while her hands gesticulated in front of her, helping her process her own thoughts. Every word she used felt carefully chosen and placed strategically. It was refreshing.

“You know,” Matty started, with a smile of gratitude hanging from his mouth. “I recorded that vocal, like, a day before I went to rehab. So there was this hopelessness to them, and to be honest I sang it better after I got out. But it just felt right, so we left ‘em.” 

“That makes me like it even more,” Este replied shortly, chewing more pearls and looking at him with admiration. She sensed he had more to say, so she let him continue. 

“And not many people know, but it isn’t about a girl or romantic relationship. I wrote it about the idea of, like, what happens if all of this disappears—when nobody cares. Getting to do this thing, writing music, and having it personally affect people and being able to keep making more. It’s genuinely the one way I make sense of the world. Not even the fact that I have that vehicle to process my emotions but just knowing that it’s there. What happens when I’m not sure it’s there anymore?”

She let the information sit between the two of them for a beat. “Things always make sense when you’re the one explaining them.” They smiled at each other. “It’s comforting. Makes me feel hopeful. Like, if someone understands themself in this way then maybe one day I will too. An understanding deep enough to remain curious.”

He laughed, swishing around the straw in his close to empty bubble tea. Setting it down on the counter, Matty’s feverish hands reached for something else to twiddle with. A stack of sticky notes was in his hands, now ripping the yellow sheets into skinnier strips and connecting them end to end to make one long piece. 

“When I listened the first time, I obviously thought it was about a relationship. So it made me think of an ex of mine,” Este mentioned hesitantly, watching Matty toy with the paper, nervous to bring up what she was about to. “It was my first time, like, actually being in love. So after things didn’t work out, it was so hard for me to grasp just not loving her anymore. When all I’d done the whole time was love her. So that whole, ‘What about these feelings I’ve got?’ thing really hit me.”

Matty paused for a second, having a quick panic internally. Is Este gay? I thought Cate was the gay one. It was embarrassing to imagine beginning to pursue someone not interested in him, let alone anyone of his gender. If that was the case, their friendship would be just fine the way it is—but his infatuation felt too far gone to reverse. 

“That’s kind of where that line came from. And what I want people to feel when they listen. But when I thought about what it means to me, it wasn’t romantic at all,” he said. “Have you loved anyone since then?”

“No. Not in the same way. The true bisexual experience is having a huge pool of humans you could be attracted to and then not liking any of them. At least for me,” Este responded, bringing a light-heartedness back into her speech. Matty relaxed in reassurance and joined her in laughter. Bi. Good. Phew, even. “Was it easy? Figuring out your sexuality, I mean?”

She got up to walk over to the door and bolt it shut, flipping the sign to read ‘closed’. “In a way. Growing up, I thought the feelings I had for girls weren’t the same as the ones I had for boys, just because I thought they had to be different. Even though I knew they were there. And then I grew up—learning more and more—and things started to make sense. But it was never fully easy, or linear. Or definitive.”

She sat back down, continuing to watch Matty fold up the ripped paper. He brought one end of the strip of paper up and around itself. Using his fingers to flatten it, a small pentagon was formed, and he took the remaining length of paper to resume folding. 

“That’s sort of what I find so difficult about it,” he admitted. “So many people over the years have taken what I say about my sexuality and construed it to mean something concrete—when that’s just not how I see it.”

His thumb nail, one by one, made small creases in each side of the flat chunk of paper to create the recognisable five points of a star. Matty set it down, now complete, on the counter and slid it over to Este. She picked it up and rolled it in her fingers, replying while studying it and bringing it close to her face. “It’s for sure frustrating when people think they know you better than you know yourself.”

Matty grabbed another couple of sticky notes to start another star. “I’m kind of envious of people like you, you know. Who have it figured out. I have such a hard time letting myself truly feel things that I find myself coming millimetres close to understanding myself in a different way than before and then I just pull away at the last minute. Just in fear of not liking what I discover, or looking stupid. Which I should stop being scared of.”

“I don’t have it all figured out, not even a little bit.” Este ripped up a few papers to try and copy him but she failed. No words had been shared between them about the technique, since they were busy conversing, so she only had the visual aid of Matty making another in front of her. She gave up, letting him just hand over the second one for her to hold. “You being aware of that fear is enough understanding in itself, in my opinion.”

They sat quietly for a couple of seconds, Este finishing her last few sips of tea and tossing the empty cup into the bin. “Is that what Sincerity Is Scary is about? That fear?”

He looked at her, nodding to confirm her question. “The stupidity of that fear.”

“Wow, I should become a music journalist or something,” she joked, shocked that she got it right.

“Don’t get too ahead of yourself, darling.”

Matty made more stars as their conversation persisted. He varied the width of every strip of paper to make ones of all sizes. A pile of yellow origami accumulated. Este watched, still not understanding how it was done. She found it endearing—and quite cute—to witness the attention and effort he was putting into the mundane craft. 

“You hungry?” she asked, finding a lull in their discussions. 

He glanced up at the clock, seeing its hands pointing at 10:07pm. “Always,” agreed Matty. “In the mood for something specific?”

Este remembered that she had walked to work that afternoon, after lending her car to Cate for the day while hers was getting serviced. So, she considered places within walking distance from Greenhouse. “Piccadilly Tavern does some good food. Just down the road,” she suggested. 

“Sounds good to me.”

They gathered Matty’s collection of stars into the corner of the counter, while Este secretly hoped Sam would leave them there for her to be able to collect them again tomorrow, and then put on their jackets. His bubble tea was now empty and in the bin alongside hers. 

Small clicks were heard while the two walked around the shop to turn off the lamps. Then, they were out the door one after the other, Este locking up behind them, and taking off to the pub. Matty extended his arm, bent at the elbow, towards her. She noticed—confused at first—but eventually wrapped her own around it and came close to the warmth of his body. The air sat at a chilly 5°C, but it didn’t feel that way when they had the other so close. 

As the pub neared, Matty and Este observed its packed nature from the outside window. They had both forgotten the state of pubs on Friday nights. 

“I honestly don’t think we’ll even physically fit inside,” he said as they paused before the door. Their arms were still linked. Este had to stop herself from accidentally stepping on Matty’s foot.

“I’d suggest another place, but they do a great margherita pizza here and it’s kind of all I can think about right now,” she confessed. 

He chuckled. “We can takeaway?” Matty pulled the door open, and she went in, approving of his suggestion. 

The wait for a pizza to share was only 15 minutes and Este left her number to get a call when they were ready; so they sat on the curb outside to avoid the bustling building. Despite him protesting, she paid for the food. Matty had already bought the drinks from earlier, so Este argued that it only made sense for her to cover dinner. He gave in.

“Oh, I have news for you,” Matty mentioned vaguely. 

Este was curious. “News?”

“Yeah. I finished On Earth We’re Briefly Gorgeous last night.”

“Go on! How do you feel?” she eagerly pushed. Matty dragged out his thoughts with silence to build suspense, making her writhe in impatience. Este shoved his shoulder with hers to try and get his words out faster. “Seriously, if you have anything bad to say about this one I might have to walk away right now. That’s a warning.” 

“I think it’s my favourite piece of fiction I’ve read in the past three years.”

✴

The pub rang Este about their ready-to-go pizza in the middle of their conversation about On Earth We’re Briefly Gorgeous. They talked about Vuong’s words and what made them so poignant, and Matty even claimed that her annotations benefited his reading experience (and embarrassing her by referencing some of her notes verbatim). 

Matty offered to go inside to fetch their takeaway and carried it for the entirety of the walk to her flat, after they decided it was more sensible to go there rather than camping out in Greenhouse after hours. Plus, she knew that Cate would be staying over at Georgia’s for the night, so they’d have the place to themselves. By the time they got up to Este’s door, the food was still hot, since her flat was only a short walk from The Piccadilly Tavern. 

“Must be nice to live in this area. To be within walking distance to your work and all of the shops around Piccadilly and everything,” commented Matty. 

“Yeah. It's busy, though. And it makes it too easy to just stay in my little bubble and never leave.”

She held the door open for Matty and the pizza box to squeeze through, and he set it on the dining room table. 

“When I was in my early twenties—living here—I wouldn’t have ever wanted to leave,” he admitted.

Their jackets came off. 

“Water okay with you?” she asked, jug in hand. “It’s either that or wine. Choose wisely.” 

He opened up their takeaway, positioning the pizza so that they could share it, and then took a seat. “I mean… I’ve got no plans in the morning that a hangover could disturb. Do you?”

Este paused to think and then turned to pull on the handle of the drawer beneath the microwave, pulling out a corkscrew. Matty laughed at her non-verbal answer to his question and graciously accepted the glass of red she poured for him.

Their first bites of pizza hit the spot. Este wasn’t lying when she said the Tavern did a great margherita. They spent a couple of minutes eating, with small portions of conversation squeezing between their mouthfuls of pizza. 

“So what’s next year looking like for you? Touring the world?” she asked, stopping at her third slice. 

“Yeah, pretty much.” Matty wiped his mouth with a napkin before continuing. “We start with the UK in early January, bit of a break in February. Then, hopefully the Brits—if we’re nominated. Off to South America for some festivals, then Coachella and US tour through to June maybe? Coming back over during the summer for Big Weekend and a bunch of European festivals. Summer Sonic in Japan, Reading and Leeds. Australia and then Asia—I think ending it off with more US dates. All while writing and recording the next album, too.”

Este’s mouth hung open, struggling to conceptualise his crazy schedule. A whole year of travelling? Non-stop? It seemed impossible to her. She realised that it’s Matty’s job and that he’d done it before, so it must not be as scary to him. “Wow,” was all she could mutter out. 

“Yeah, I know,” he said with a chuckle.

“I don’t know if I’d survive that.”

“I barely did, last cycle. Did a bunch of smack, and stuff.” He sipped his wine and laughed. The glass was close to empty now. “But it’s worth it in the end."

She dusted the powdery flour accumulating on her fingertips into the corner of the box, considering the fact that it may be the last time she saw Matty for a while. It unexpectedly saddened Este. Conversing over text was fun and friendly, but moments like that first night; sitting on the couch and sipping beers in her flat, or drunkenly shouting at each other over the music in Kingston, and making origami stars behind the counter at Greenhouse, all made her realise how great his company was. Her attachment grew. Would their connection sustain through the year he was away? Does he even want it to sustain? she pondered.

“I’ll have to write down that crazy schedule on paper to break the news to my nan that you can’t attend her party,” Este joked. 

“When is it?” Matty asked. 

She could see a glimmer in his eye. Oh god. He wants to come, she thought. “No,” denied Este. “You’re not coming.”

A smile grew on his face as he realised she was onto his intent of asking. “Come on. Tell me when it is,” he insisted, playfulness evident in his voice.

“You’ll be on tour, Matty. I’m not going to make you show up to a banquet hall to celebrate my nan and granddad’s anniversary.” 

“It’s not ‘making me show up’ if she told you to invite me and if I want to go,” Matty argued. 

Este covered her face in embarrassment, with her elbows resting on the table in front of her, in disbelief that he wanted the information out of her. She spoke a ‘no’ but it was muffled by her hands in front of her mouth. He reached forward, pulling them away to reveal her face. In a flustered state, he noticed her mouth twitching up and down to try and stop a smile from showing up. Matty’s eyes found hers. He put on the biggest, corniest smile he could; eyes squinting, cheeks flexed, all teeth on display. Este couldn’t help but let her smile escape, Matty succeeding. She let out a laugh. 

“9th of February. Saturday,” she gave in.

Racking his brain for the specifics, he realised that the 9th was when he’d be off, after the UK leg and before South America. Matty couldn’t believe the coincidence, laughing to himself in bewilderment. “I’ll be in London.”

“For a show?”

“No. Home. Off, free. Perfect time to attend a dinner and dance event held in a banquet hall.”

She looked at him in disbelief. “Be serious please, Matty.”

“I am.”

Este shook her head, deciding to avoid the conversation and pouring them both another glass instead. And then she poured another, and another. It neared two o’clock in the morning, the both of them lounging comfortably on the couch together. The bottle of red was empty, a beer sat in front of each of them on the coffee table, and they were passing a now second and half-smoked joint back and forth. Crossed out of their minds, the previously deep and thoughtful conversations from earlier in the night were long gone. 

Matty found himself doing things like explaining, in detail, the (objectively, according to him) correct way to put shoelaces into a pair of Converse; which he didn’t know he was so passionate about until he caught himself talking about it for far too many minutes. Este happily listened, equally as tipsy and high as him, shooting back with random tangents of the same minuscule relevance. It was the most fun each of them had all week.

The influence in their system along with the late hour of the night forced any remaining walls between them to falter. Este reached and touched his knee in laughter a few too many times to go unnoticed by Matty. He watched her eyes linger at the ink on his forearms that poked out of his cotton shirt while he blabbered. Her hands constantly reached up to flip the gold dragonfly hanging around her neck, but she always did.

Likewise, she caught sight of him breaking eye contact more than ever before. It looked like he was looking down at her lips, but she wasn’t sure. The curls on Matty’s head were disturbed by his fidgety hands every few seconds. Este thought it looked nice when they were messy so she wouldn’t dare complain. 

“I feel like there's wet concrete behind my eyes when I try to close them and open them again,” he said to nobody in particular, obviously tired.

“That was a weirdly descriptive way to say your eyelids are heavy.”

“Yeah I know, but that’s what it feels like.” Matty clicked the power button on his phone and read the time. It was past three now. He flipped it around to show Este. “I think it’s bedtime.”

She stood up, reaching into the basket of miscellaneous throw blankets that sat in the corner of her living room and tossing one to Matty. It landed directly on top of his head and made him giggle. They were both smart enough to know that there was no way Este would let him leave this late, so she didn’t bother even asking him to stay. 

“Don’t be alarmed if you hear me get up a million times during the night. Wine makes me wee,” she warned with a slight slur to her speech. 

“Noted.” Matty untied his shoes to remove them before pivoting his legs onto the sofa where Este was previously sat, laying flat. “Thank you for the pizza. And wine, and weed. And for letting me stay over.”

“You’re welcome. Now you know what I get up to on Friday nights.” She took a cushion from the opposite end, near his feet, and then walked back to where his head sat. Standing behind the arm of the sofa, Este lifted his head to place it underneath. He looked up at her and uttered a small ‘thank you’. 

She smiled back and laughed. “Your face looks silly when it's upside down.”

He wanted to pretend to be offended but he was too tired to carry out the bit.

Este continued to potter around the flat, still wanting to clean up after their night by putting the scattered bottles and glasses near the sink and closing the pizza boxes from the table. When it was tidy, she made her way back over to Matty. “You’re okay with sleeping here? On the sofa?”

He nodded, barely awake. “Of course. Don’t worry about me, I’ll knock out as soon as I close my eyes,” he assured her. Este was about to turn towards her room when Matty grabbed her hand to stop her first. “Wait, before I forget. On Beauty and Being Just.”

She raised her eyebrows. “On beauty and being just what?”

“It’s an essay you should read. Been on my mind all night but I couldn’t remember the title and it’s only just now come back to me.”

Este promised to read it but was unsure if she’d remember what was called in the morning. Walking away, she switched off the big light, before the two of them said a final goodnight. Not bothering to change her clothes, she fell asleep soundly.

6 >>

[clunelover]

I did talk to BFF about my sister and it was overall positive but kind of challenging emotionally. Part of the issue is that she’s like "oh I’ve let that all go now, I’m not mad at her at all" but like…she is and I can tell from how she talks about my sister when the topic comes up. She also is convinced that I feel like I’m in the mom role and therefore have to protect my sister…not quite! My sister puts me in the mom role and I hate it, more like! But she brought up the good point that part of the reason she doesn’t say things about her baby in the chat that includes my sister, is because I never talk about my kids in there either…and I was like "oh yeah, cause my sister’s replies are always sort of off and they bother me so then I stop." Like this time I shared a pic of E after they came back from their first ever basketball game that they went to with Girl Scouts, and they were all pumped and had been given a cool hat with the gay pride flag inside the outline of Wisconsin, and I said something about how they were all of a sudden SUPER into basketball, and my sister just said "lol." Hard to explain why that made me annoyed I guess but it did! lol.

Anyway I was all distraught after she left, just feeling bad about things with my family, because it feels like I have to accept things as they are (but I don’t want to!) or get proactive about trying to change things, meet people where they are, etc (resentful that everything is on me as per usual! I don’t think these people consider meeting me where *I* am!)

Anyway I was turning that over and thinking about what exactly to say to my sister (cause I think she misunderstood my "hey you should invite us over" message but also I shouldn’t have said it in the first place so I was going to send some sort of "hey never mind, I was being controlling and trying to manage your relationship, do whatever you want" message but the thought of what exactly I’d say had me VERY UPSET and then something dawned on me - why the f am I spending so much mental energy on my sister who, regardless of what she actually feels towards me or my kids, isn’t really emotionally available to be the kind of sister/aunt I wish for…I should instead be trying to nurture relationships that DO make me feel good (or…dare I say…forge new ones??)

So I set up a dinner with me and BFF and my other best friend for next weekend. If I can decide some likely dates I’m going to invite over a family who we were pretty close friends with before we moved to this house, try to reconnect with them a bit.

And I was mulling over how else adults create community and find friends, and then I picked E up from camp and they randomly said "I think there are four Jewish kids at my camp" and I asked how that came up/why it was on their mind…they said "I don’t know"…I guessed it was maybe because we have common Jewish last name and so people often assume we are Jewish (they said no, that wasn’t it), and THAT led us to a discussion of religion in families and I was saying how daddy and I both come from families where our parents were raised very religious and then they decided not to raise their kids that way, so my parents didn’t take me to church and daddy’s mom didn’t take him to temple, which is fine, although maybe we would have liked those things and we never got to know. And that made me realize, oh yeah, religious communities are one big way adults meet each other!

I shared all of this with Jeremy later and said for various reasons I’m not that interested in joining the UU church in town, but I’d be interested in checking out a Quaker meeting, and he said "whoa, I was just today reading a substack post by someone I like, about how they are an atheist but attend Quaker meetings, and I thought it sounded really great! Let’s do that!" SO all this to say, I think we’re going to try that tomorrow! Posting here partly for accountability so I actually do it.

[mama-scarebear]

I like this method of communication I suppose but I do think I will stop overpopulating your blog with massive text posts after this haha.

That is interesting. I'd love to hear if there were any specific ways your being punk and witch inspired one another. Were you a chaote by chance?

Yes, her portrayal of gender nonconformity is super awesome. I hope you end up with an amazing tattoo. Will you be giving her some sort of design or giving her creative freedom?

I grew up on a small island, so I totally get that re: rural living. I hope the local community you mentioned in your other message are cool and that if you do want to be recruited that it's fulfilling for you.

I looove some of those bands, Whoredrobe, Pat The Bunny (a solid fave from the list so far - i'm not a good person). I don't know the rest of these, so I'll be checking them out. I love being exposed to new music :D.

That style of festival sounds way more fun. The body aches can be worth it :D I recently did something similar to that but it was a food truck festival kind of thing. It was fun. It was still quite busy but also much smaller.

I love hearing about you so I guess it works out. Also yeah I got that kind of vibe from it. I love a girl with a good dose of whimsy. A part of mine comes from my love of claymation and stop animation.

🪽

Hey now this is my blog and I've not asked you to stop yet. Don't you be so presumptuous as to assume I dislike these back and forths of ours.

I was nothing so formal. I contended myself with just exploring and practicing broadly, mixing everything pêle-mêle. My old witch tendencies and my punk tendencies were born from the same place though. Namely rebelling against my literally Christo fascist upbringing. Nowadays I think I fall more along the lines of Christian folk magic more than anything else.

Ill be giving her a vague idea and then creative freedom. All I want is a strong woman of some kind. Maybe a barbell? Who knows.

The head hunting has been successful. I start working for that organization in August. It'll be interesting if nothing else. The local queer community is rather spread out and solitary so there's not much of a community there. My main focus and goals are to put in place groundwork for future queer folks to find and build upon.

Pat the Bunny is a personal fsvourite and has been for a long time. I recommend Your Heart Is A Muscle The Size Of Your Fist. It's a sad but moving song.

It was a lot of fun but made me need a cane for a few weeks afterwards. Its on me for getting in the pit with a recently healed fracture though. Smaller events are my type of thing. I like small town shows and festivals or at least underground ones.

My love of strange art comes mainly from my love of puppetry as an art form. Especially in TV and film. It's a dying art but when done well or intriguingly is very evocative. I'm also just not somebody who likes following the mainstream at all. Counter culture runs deep in my bones.