#maybe the pain in the ass was the agatha all along

[cissa-calls]

I’ve spent so long playing with my own little fanon version of Agatha in my head, it’s nice to know that she is just as much of a nuisance as we all hoped for.

[cassiebones]

Rewatching Agatha All Along for reasons. Gonna mainly be commenting on Vidarkness interactions

Episode 1:

Rio's immediate reaction to "eat my ass chief" is to laugh. I feel like it's a very "some things just don't change" reaction. Or it was Aubrey Plaza's genuine response to that line. Either is hilarious. I need bloopers.

"what are you doing here?"

"my job"

Me: squints suspiciously

Also:

"if you wanna be in control, you can be"

COULD YOU BE ANY HORNIER?!?!

AND ON A DISNEY SHOW?!?!

Also the double meaning of "take control and break this hex" as well as "you can be on top" is just amazing. All awards to Aubrey Plaza for the delivery.

Also, they tried so hard to make Kathryn look as frumpy and dyke-y as possible, but you can FEEL all the wlw watching just THIRSTING for her still. It's not a surprise that Rio is fiending for it. Not at all.

AGATHA UNDERSTOOD THE DOUBLE ENTENDRE. THAT MEANS IN THE TV PLOT IN HER IMPRISONED MIND SHE KNOWS THAT RIO IS HER EX LOVER I AM GOING FERAL

"is this really how you see yourself?"

As a butch detective trying to solve a crime? Yes, she has Main Character Energy. This is definitely also not the first show she's piloted in this hex and I stand by that. Also Rio has definitely been there the whole time, for alllll the shows.

Rio casually trying to coax Agatha out of the hex, bringing up magic and trying to get feelers for her. She is desperate for Agatha to wake up, you can tell. Otherwise, she would have sent the Salem Seven her way waaaayyyy earlier. Tell me I'm wrong.

Agatha getting uncomfortable and making her leave. Rio going because she knows she pushed too far.

"Te veo" means "I see you." I know there's a debate about it, but it's the literal translation. I asked my dad (Mexican, native Spanish speaker) and he said that it's not widely used, but more literal in meaning. in this case, maybe it's something that Rio used to say to Agatha, comfortingly.

I see you. I see you when others don't. I see you and I accept and love you. I see everything you are and I love it all.

Sorry, back to the show.

Why does nobody ever talk about the lock of hair in the brooch locket?!? Whose is it? Is it Nicholas's? Is it Agatha's? Is it Rio's? I need an answer

I know Agatha's neighbors are sick of her already. This has been going on 3 years? The patience.

Also the police station is 10000% the "chief"'s house. Ditto on the library.

Nicky's room ���😭😭 I feel like she has this room for every single pilot, as part of her character's tragic backstory, but also because he is still so much a part of her. I'm heartbroken for her.

Rio trying to get that romantic subplot going with pizza. Agatha falling for it despite hating her.

That's love.

The story she tells is not funny, but Rio's laugh is genuine. She loves her frumpy cop witch so much.

I always see people commenting on Agatha's manspreading and inability to sit normally bc she's gay

But what about Rio. She's sitting so provocatively. She is trying to seduce Agatha out of the hex, I swear.

"I have a lead in the case."

"that's not why I came over"

*immediate gay thoughts and blushing*

Me too, Agnes. Also me too, Rio.

The mention of the car accident and more goading from Rio, trying to get her to snap out of it, to see how weird this is.

There's something about Rio trying to get her back on track that makes me think she knows about Teen being Billy. Or she knows that if Agatha starts to remember her real life, a new show starts immediately. Hmm

"I can't shake this feeling I'm seeing it wrong"

*looks at the camera like I'm in The Office*

"Do you remember why you hate me?"

This is something Rio definitely asks every single time, hoping for a different answer. It has to be painful never getting the one she wants.

Then "are you hiding evidence?" To see the difference in the two "no"s

That was a bad fall. If only there was somebody who had a tongue that could heal you....👉🏻👈🏻

Where are they standing if not in front of a two-way mirror?

Teen playing along is great. Not sure if Agatha is just hearing what the hex is making her hear, if Billy actually knows what she's seeing and is acting with it, or if he's just super good at improv.

Joe Locke should get an award no matter what. I like this twink.

"you little dirt bag" ma'am that is your adopted son

"the respect of your peers and a fulfilling home life, but you were fresh out of both" that is Certified Maximoff Sass™️

Also, Teen deserved that

Rio, don't act like that wasn't funny to you. You've seen Agatha eat babies and love her still.

The Road mention and then the overscore.

Is it ink, Teen? Is it?

If it is, where the fuck did she get ink to fingerprint him? Is it just oil or something? Does she have an inkwell? Probably.

Still.

"Asleep. In bed. TOTAL LOOSERRRR OR TOTALLY LYING" Kathryn Hahn is so fucking funny and unhinged I need her as my wife.

The hex breaking.

Kidnapping yay

Agatha desperately clinging to this curse, where everything makes sense, trying not to lose herself 🥲

Rio showing back up at the Coroner, ready for this damn hex to end

"Yes claw your way out" girl 🥵

The SWEATPANTS

Costume department went HARD in this scene

Same thing with Effects

Rio gently guiding her back to reality. She definitely got to see the goods again, but gathered her strength and left first before her dramatic reentry into Agatha's life. Dramatic ass lesbians.

The out of focus nudity is great. DISNEY.

Agatha being rude to poor Herb. I cannot remember if that's his real name but he's sweet.

"call me nosy, I'll cut out your tongue" why do I love her more after that line?!? What is wrong with me?!?!?

Okay, so Sarah/Dottie's daughter was 10 during WandaVision. So she's 13 now and Very Excited to see naked Agatha.

Same tho

Herb is so nice, trying to cover her up. Agatha is unashamed. I love her.

Agatha trying to magic but unable to. Heartbreaking. TV's saddest moment. RIP

Immediately goes downstairs to check on shit and sees her bunny.

"I got mugged, Mister." The way she cuddles and kisses that fluffy boy. THAT FLUFFY BOY IN GENERAL. LOOK AT HIM

That bunny is a gift from Rio.

"She took every bit of power I had and left me with household appliances."

Why does this make me laugh til my ribs hurt?

That is such a good bunny. He deserves an Emmy.

Her taking Señor Scratchy with her and then placing him out of harm's way is great.

So nonchalant about the kidnapped child in your closet.

Rio be like "Surprise bitch. Bet you thought you saw the last of me."

The DRAMA of that entrance and Aubrey Plaza ate that shit up.

She went home and Dressed Up to see her ex. Like DAMN!

"I've missed you," while holding a knife to her throat is A++ flirting, Rio. Good job.

"I hate you." Liar.

This scene should have ended in sex. But Disney and Teen was there. Ugh.

Even without powers, Agatha can hold her own and that is so hot.

The slap across the face has to be real.

Teen watching while tied up, knowing that there's a tension there. His Gaydar is going Off The Charts.

Aubrey Plaza was born to play this role. If she doesn't win a fucking Emmy I swear to god

Agatha going to manipulation immediately

"Admit it: you prefer me..."

"Horizontal?"

Girl there were like 3 whole seconds in that pause. You didn't mean in a grave

Unless.....yeah, no they def fucked in a grave before.

"there are no new options?" I cackled

"I could just sit back and watch..."

Don't kid yourself, Rio. No you can't.

That look down was at her boobs and I cannot blame Rio one bit. She is so soft for her wife. Yes, they are married. Fight me.

Agatha crying and Rio wiping that tear away, automatically. Just brilliant.

Salem Seven mention. I honestly didn't expect them to play a huge role in this but damn I was wrong.

"You don't have a heart."

"Yes, I do. It's black and it beats for you."

Please just fuck already.

Okay, licking her hand is good too I guess...

"Te veo" again. Rio, my love.

Teen just there, watching this all go down, silently. I appreciate that he didn't interrupt or get hurt.

[harmonyverendez]

Kiera Mistral Headcanons Part 4 | Rise of the school for good and evil.

~

School Days

Before the three became immortal. Kiera was the first to arrive.

She was at home, enjoying her dinner, and the boys were in another room. Doing who knows what.

And she was just about to leave the kitchen. When something dark caught her eyes.

" Huh?" Kiera whispered under her breath. The black shadow red glint eyes narrowed at her. She steps back and calls for her brothers.

" Rhian! Rafal!".

But no response.

So she was all alone. The creature flies through the window, grab her by the forearm and drags her through the night.

Just then Rhian along with Rafal comes to the window. They gasped at what they saw. But it was nothing they could do.

~

When the creature arrived at school, Kiera knew she would be taken to the school for evil girls.

And just as she predicted. The creature dropped her and flies away.

A sigh left her lips, and she walks away.

Her first year was just awful. One of those Professors / Teachers did not like her.

She was always yelling at them. She told the dean one day that she would take their job.

( Hell she wasn't lying 😂)

And one of the girls at her school “ I'll throw your ass in the garbage ”.

And that was that.

She ended up making good grades, despite many boys chasing her.

And everytime?

She throws hands and they leave her alone. Around her 2nd year, that's when the twins arrived.

Rafal was sorted in Evil, and Rhian Good. But they weren't there long until the hat chose them to become Headmasters.

And Kiera? She was there, she is a part of the Prophecy as well.

~

After School Years

Kiera's first boyfriend was a male name, Noah. He was sweet and caring at first. And that was the start of abuse.

Tragic things happen and soon or later, She births her first son named Isaiah.

She was single for a while until she met a male named Jepeth.

And then years after she meet Jesper Fahey they married and had a little girl name ( Ella-Maximum, Ella-Max for short ) they stayed together until Jesper died of old age.

She had an unknown child by an unknown male, the baby ended up dying.

Kiera was raped, bullied, and taken advantage of all her life. This is one of the reasons why the twins are so protective of her.

And then it was James Hook, he had a crush on her. They had one child together, which is abandoned. And then two more.

They separated and met again years later when the man became Dean.

The feeling is still there, but now Captain Hook is interested in Rhian ( Smug Motherfucker smiling and sh*t )

But then again death, Pain and misery.

Years later when Agatha and Sophie arrived, she see a little bit of the twins in them.

Which brings her sorrow, and pain.

And once again she watches everything crumble until it is not.

The true king.

Zombie! Hook

Evil Rafal

Another Pregnancy ( Last One )

And then Kiera meets Carolyn and that's when things get interesting.

Maybe there is hope for the future.

~

Part 5 Is Coming Soon

[randomshyperson]

Wanda Maximoff/Reader - The One Where You Punch Tony Stark - Part One

Part 2 || Part 3 || Part 4 || AO3 (Complete)

Summary:  When the rumors that you punched Tony Stark in the face spread around your school, some interesting events unfolded. Or enemies to Lovers in high School.

Warnings: 18+; Enemies to Lovers/ Angry Sex/ Underage Sex/ High School AU/ Violence/ Fights/ Inappropriate language.

Words:  19,905K (Complete)

//-//

Sometimes it is just a punch “ - Chapter One

Rumors at your high school were spreading like the plague. No one would really admit to talking about it, but everyone knew they were gossiping. Everything about this place seemed to irritate you deeply, from your stupid and petty classmates, with their idiotic social circles and narcissistic behavior, to the body of psychotics professors who seemed to take pleasure in embarrassing the students.

Fortunately, it was your senior year. You couldn't wait to get out of this place, to get away from this troublesome town.  You let out a grumble when you noticed two teenagers pressed up against your locker. Fucking hell, you thought impatiently as you walked up to them. Then you noticed who they were, and your irritation increased even more.

Golden boy, captain of the soccer team, arrogant pain in the ass, Steve Rogers, was kissing Sharon Carter against her locker. Sharon was a cheerleader, human barbie, and honestly, she used to be a nice girl in elementary school, then you guys grew up and she became an arrogant bitch.

- Really, Rogers, don't you have your own locker? - commented a voice next to you, before you could say anything. It was Natasha, your locker-mate, with whom you had at least three classes together. She was very closed off and didn't let anyone near her, always alone at school. But if you could guess, she was the closest thing you had to a friend in this place. Steve stopped kissing Sharon when he heard Natasha, and throwing his arm around the girl's shoulders, he smiled wryly at Nat.

- Take it easy, Romanoff. We were just making out. - He says, and then adopts a debauched expression. - You know what this is, right?

- Screw you, Rogers. - Natasha says without hesitation, Steve laughs ironically and then his gaze falls on you.

- What are you looking at? - He threatens, you roll your eyes. He then leaves, dragging Sharon through the halls. 

- Fucking idiot. - Nat grumbles when you are alone. You don't really know what to say, so you just stay silent as you open the locker to get your chemistry books. - I heard about Stark's party.

That's the problem with rumors. You didn't look at Nat, but shrugged. 

- What about Stark's party? - You tried to play along, but Nat let out a little giggle.

- Everyone is talking about how you punched him in the face. - She said, turning to you as she leaned against the now closed locker, two notebooks in her hand. You finished picking up your books and turned to her. - I just think it was cool. - You smile awkwardly, looking at the floor. Nat speaks after a moment. - Are you going to the game on Friday?

You blink in surprise at the question.

- I don't like football.

Nat chuckles.

- I'm not going to the game. - She says, and seeing your frown, she adds. - You know the skate rink a little way past the bleachers. I'm meeting some friends there. You can come if you like. - Nat says finally, winking at you before turning away, walking in the opposite direction of the corridor.

 You are very surprised that you have been asked to go out with Natasha Romanoff and the friends you didn't even know she had. Ignoring how awkward the interaction was, you make your way to the classrooms, heading towards the chemistry lab.

Professor Agatha Harkness has been your chemistry teacher since the first grade. She is extremely strict, and demands that her students work hard and cannot stand, or rather absolutely detests, sycophants. You laugh with the memory of the day when Steve Rogers tried to buy a higher grade by bringing her a Teachers' Day gift, and Ms. Harkness simply threw the package in the trash at the front of the room, saying that if he wanted to pass her class, he better study.

You took your place in the last chair, yawning slightly as you sat down. You were startled when your colleague in front, Darcy Lewis, turned in her chair to look at you.

- Can I help you? - you asked.

- I heard that you punched Tony Stark. - She said. - I think it's awesome. Finally someone wiped the pretentious smile off his face.

You smiled wryly. Darcy was one of the smartest girls in the class, and she had never really talked to you before. She returned your smile before turning forward again.

 You were distracted by the landscape outside, but you noticed when the room suddenly fell absolutely silent, and turned your face to find out what had happened. You felt your body tense with the intensity of anger you received in the gaze of Tony Stark, entering the room at that moment, a large purple mark in his left eye. He didn't stare at you for long, taking a seat in one of the front chairs with his friend James Rhodes. Many of the classmates began to whisper about the party, glances running between you and Tony. But the room fell silent as Ms. Harkness entered, and the students began to rush to their seats.

If there was one thing that Harkness hated more than sycophants, it was tardiness, so you weren't surprised that everyone in the room held their breath as they watched the Maximoff twins arrive late to class.

- What an honor the Maximoffs have decided to join my class. - She sneered as they walked to their seats. A few giggles were heard.

Pietro Maximoff was a member of the football team along with Steve Rogers and Tony Stark, and you guessed that's why he gave you an angry look before he sat down. You didn't really know the twins very well, but you knew that everyone knew them. 

While Pietro was extremely popular, and changed girlfriends like he changed clothes, his sister, Wanda Maximoff, was a member of the student council, as well as being the captain of the cheerleading squad. She was ridiculously beautiful, the kind that would bring boys crawling to her door. But you had never seen her date anyone, not that you really paid attention to Wanda anyway.

When Ms. Harkness started class, your mind wandered to lunchtime.

Your week went by too fast, you realized. With the final exam period approaching, you were spending a lot of time studying. Natasha didn't speak to you again all week, and you were beginning to imagine that the invitation to go out was your imagination, but then she smiled at you and told you that she hoped you could make it on Friday, and you just nodded, too surprised to say anything.

The school seemed to get even more unbearable on game days. The players were agitated and noisy, and disrupted all the classes. Also, the cheerleaders seemed to occupy every bathroom you entered, taking over the sinks with their makeup. 

You grumbled when last period finally came around. It was literature with Mrs. Hill, and she was probably the only teacher you liked.

It was hot, and you put your leather jacket on the chair as you stretched your body and raised your arms, lifting your shirt a little. You blushed in surprise as you noticed a girl you didn't know staring at you mischievously, her gaze drifting down to your waist tattoo, which had been visible for a moment.

She continued to stare at you brazenly, biting her lip, and you felt very uncomfortable. 

- Do you need anything? - you asked snidely. The girl was startled, and rolled her eyes in embarrassment, then turned to look away. - What the fuck was that. - you muttered to yourself, as you opened your notebooks.

You heard laughter, and raised your eyes, frowning as you felt your stomach flip at the vision of Wanda Maximoff throwing her head back as she laughed at something her partner said to her as the two of them entered the room. You blinked in confusion at your own reaction, quickly looking away. 

And then your lab partner for two years, Jessica Jones, with whom you had never exchanged a word that was not subject-related sat down next to you and asked how you were doing.

- I'm sorry, what's that? - You asked in surprise, but Jessica smiled.

- What's up with you? - she repeated, causing you to frown.

- Why are you talking to me? - you retorted, and Jessica just shrugged.

- I want to be friends with the girl who punched Tony Stark in the face. - She says simply, and you stare at her for a few seconds, not knowing exactly what to say.

- All right, then. - You say, turning your attention back to your materials. Jessica smiles before adjusting her posture to rest her head on her arms on the table. 

Professor Hill begins her class shortly after, and you reprimand yourself for letting your gaze wander to Wanda and then looking away. What the fuck is the matter with you today?

You were particularly focused on an exercise that didn't seem to make any sense when your classmate in front of you passed you a piece of paper. You looked around, seeing a small commotion, which indicated that the paper had been passed around the room. You frown, opening it.

- Ulala, you have an admirer. - Jessica teased, leaning yours shoulders together to read the paper. On it was simply written "want to make out? girls restroom, second floor". You laughed ruefully. - Are you going to accept?

- I don't even know who sent it. - You comment, looking around, but no one is looking at you. You quickly hide the paper to prevent the teacher from seeing. - Besides, it might just be a joke.

- Maybe. But the whole school is talking about you, so I think you might have suitors. - Jessica commented, writing in her notebook. - Besides, you're hot. It's not like no one notices you.

- Thanks. - You laughed, returning your attention to the exercise.

The class finally came to an end, and Jessica patted you on the shoulder, wishing you a good date even though she knew you weren't going, and you laughed, realizing it was a joke.

You were putting your notebooks away in your locker when school counselor Nicolas Fury approached you.

- Hello, Miss Y/L/N. Could we talk for a moment? - He asks, leading the way to his office. You sigh, knowing exactly what this is about, before nodding in agreement.

In Fury's office, you sit in the armchair opposite his desk, while he assumes his typical thoughtful position.

- I'll be straightforward, Y/N. - he begins. - I heard rumors about you getting involved in a street fight outside of school hours.

- Great choice of words, Fury. - You counter. - Out of school hours, and even off school grounds so I really don't understand why I'm here.

Fury smiles, crossing his legs.

- So you admit you were in a fight? You know as a counselor I need to warn your mother...

 - I admit nothing. - You cut without patience. - It's my word against the other gossips. 

The man lets out a chuckle before continuing.

- I imagine Anthony Stark's black eye was a domestic accident then?

You smile wryly, shrugging your shoulders.

- I think Tony Stark would rather say he hit his face against a wall than admit he got beaten by a girl, so I would put that in your report.

- Please, Y/N. - Fury asks with a serious expression. - If you tell me the reason for the conflict with Mr. Stark, I can find a way to help you.

You laugh, crossing your arms.

- The reason is that Tony Stark is an arrogant jerk who thinks he can do and say whatever he wants without consequences. - You say, and then stand up. - I don't have anything to tell you, and school hours are over. Excuse me, Mr. Fury.

You say before hurrying out of the room, annoyed by all the talk. Leaving the hallways, you roll your eyes at the excitement of your classmates, all of them heading for the soccer field, while the remaining team members in the hallway were applauded and patted on the back as if they were war heroes.

You were happy to remember your date with Nat and her friends as you walked out of the school.

Good thing I brought my jacket, was your first thought as you headed out to the skate park to meet Nat. You could hear the noise from the stands, which must have been packed since everyone in the school seemed to love football.

You had bought some French fries from one of the stalls set up for the game, and walked alone toward the park, around the iron bleachers.

A few minutes later you arrived at the skateboarding rink, observing the small group of people that was there. Nat waved to you as soon as she saw you, and you smiled.

- Hey, you made it. - She remarked as she approached. You waved. She turned to the group. - Guys, this is the girl I told you about, Y/N. 

You waved to everyone, who smiled at you.

- This is Clint, Laura, Thor, Valkyrie and my boyfriend Bruce. - Nat said, introducing everyone. You have never seen them at school. - They are owls.

Oh, that makes sense. You thought. They were all students at the state school that was two blocks away. Their mascot was an owl, and their team was your school's opponent in today's game. That's why they were all here.

You sat down with them, offering them some of the fries you had bought. You smiled as you noticed Nat sitting with Bruce, it was different to see her like this, completely comfortable and smiling openly.

Thor then stood up, a skateboard in his hand.

- Hey, Y/N, want to give it a try? - He suggested and you hesitated. You didn't really know how to skate. But Thor seemed nice and willing to teach you, so you nodded and stood up.

It was fun to learn from him. You laughed about the times you fell on your buttocks, and Thor seemed concerned about checking to see if you were all right. And when you got tired of that, you and he joined the group again, talking about various random things.

You eventually found out that Clint and Laura were already engaged to be married, and intended to move in together after college. You thought Thor and Valkyrie were boyfriend and girlfriend at first, but she commented that she hoped to meet more interesting girls in college. Also, Thor told you that he was applying to colleges outside of New York, wanting to be closer to his brother. Bruce wanted to go to medical school, and he and Nat were looking forward to sharing an apartment together. You told them that you had applied to colleges all over the country, that there was nothing really keeping you here. 

You spent the whole period of the game talking, and having fun. And then, when the fireworks went off from the stadium bleachers, you thought it was time to go.

The vast majority of the people had already gone home by the time you reached the stands, and then you thought you heard a noise. Investigating the source, you walked slowly around the iron construction, letting out an exclamation of surprise at the image you saw.

Tony Stark was wrapped around Steve Rogers in the passionate kiss. You wanted to laugh at the hypocrisy. You were going to leave in silence, because you didn't give a fuck about what these two were doing, but Tony pushed Steve away and opened his eyes, and then he saw you.

Assuming an aggressive posture, while Steve looked worried, he advanced toward you.

- What the fuck are you doing there girl? - He shouted, and you took a few steps back in surprise.

- You must be looking to get punched in the face again. - You retorted angrily, hiding your nervousness. You could fight, but being alone against Stark and Rogers, you might push your luck. 

- I think you'd better not tell anyone what you saw here. - He threatened when he approached you, Steve following close behind.

- You think I care if you're banging Rogers behind the locker room, Stark? Screw you. - You retorted in a provocative tone. Stark advanced on you, his fist raised, but Rogers held him back.

- You're out of your mind, it's a girl. - He spoke, shoving Tony away from you. 

- Listen to your boyfriend, Stark. - You teased last, reveling in Tony's anger.

Tony let out an irritated snort and jumped toward you again, but when Rogers grabbed him, he punched him in the face. You blinked in surprise, and then they started to fight, rolling on the ground.

What the fuck, you thought, frowning at the scene, and taking a few steps back to avoid being bumped into.

And then someone shouted, and you looked up from the fight to see Pietro Maximoff coming out of the locker room along with Wanda, and another boy from the team who you thought was named Bucky.

The boys ran to separate the two, and Pietro held Tony by the arms as Bucky stood in front of Steve.

- What the fuck are you guys doing? - shouted Pietro.

- It's all this crazy bitch's fault! - Tony shouted, pointing at you. You rolled your eyes as Pietro looked at you in confusion.

- Are you fighting over her? - he asked. And you burst out laughing when you understood.

- Oh, Maximoff, that's not the kind of fruit they like. - You sneered and Pietro had to hold Tony back to keep him from jumping on you. 

- Let's get them out of here. - Said Bucky dragging Steve away. Pietro nodded as he dragged Tony to the opposite side.

You frowned when you were left alone with Wanda, and she looked at you.

- Do you need something? - you said snidely, and Wanda let out a wry laugh.

- I don't know what your deal is, girl. - she said, stepping closer. - But I think you'd better leave my friends alone.

You laughed.

- What friends, Maximoff? - You countered. - Those kids are narcissistic sociopaths who will fuck anything that wears a skirt. And your brother is an asshole. You're just a trophy to them.

- You don't know shit. - Wanda spoke angrily.

- Try to stop behaving the way they want you to. - You provoked by taking a step forward. - One day of not being the perfect little lady that everyone thinks you are.

- You shut your mouth. - She retorted with fury in her eyes, and then she shoved your shoulders, making you laugh ironically. - Stay away from me.

- Oh but I can't wait to get out of this fucking school! - You shouted back, laughing wryly. - And I'll never have to endure Stark's little group ever again. But mostly, I won't have to deal with Miss Perfect Girl here, with her fake smiles and annoying comments. - You punctuated your sentences with your finger, as you approached Wanda, who was staring wide-eyed. You let out your breath through your mouth as you realized how close you were, and stared intensely at Wanda. - I hate you.

- I hate you too. - She whispered before breaking the distance between you.

You closed your eyes tightly, lifting your hands to Wanda's waist and squeezing. Wanda sighed against your mouth, and you took the opportunity to push your tongue against hers, moaning at the new sensation.

Feeling her whole body respond to the kiss, you pushed her, until she slammed her back against the locker room wall. You pressed your knee against Wanda's center, and she moaned against your lips, lifting her right leg and entwining it around your waist. You felt your body tremble in anticipation, and the new friction made you press Wanda tight against the wall.

You weren't thinking about anything. All you felt was Wanda. Her tongue circling in your mouth, stealing all the air from your lungs. You pulled your mouths apart to breathe, and moved your kisses down to Wanda's collarbone, which made her sigh. You kissed the skin, hard, marking her. The thought of her trying to hide those marks after that, stimulated you to suck. Wanda let out a loud groan, pressing her nails into your shoulder.

You brought your mouths together again, and let your hands run up the inside of Wanda's blouse. She was still wearing her cheerleader uniform, and you tried not to think about it so much.

Your hand reached her right breast, and you squeezed without hesitation.Wanda moaned against your mouth, and you kissed her hard as you pressed your bodies together.

She whimpered as you pushed your knee up, breaking the kiss to rest her head on your shoulder. You let out a wry chuckle, lifting her chin with your hand and forcing her to face you as you brought your mouths together again. This time you let your tongue play with hers slowly and sensually, making her shiver. 

And then you reached down into her blouse again, pulling down her bra. With her breasts exposed, you played with her hardened nipples, feeling Wanda rub against your knee. 

You lowered your hand around her waist, pulling up the fabric of her skirt. Your hand moved down to her now exposed ass, and you squeezed the flesh, pressing Wanda against you. The contact made you both moan with intensity.

When you interrupted the friction with your knee, Wanda grumbled at the lack of contact, but you kissed her firmly, one hand squeezing her neck, and she trembled completely. You released her ass, to run your fingers up her thigh, until finally you reached her pussy. 

Reaching up with your fingers to pull down Wanda's panties, you kept up the pace of the kiss, wanting to keep her distracted.

You found her pussy soaked, and moaned as you felt it. Massaging her superficially with just one finger, it didn't take long for Wanda to whimper, moving her hips in search of more contact.

She broke the kiss with a moan when you penetrated her without warning. You moved your hand from her breasts to grip her leg around your waist, seeing that the intensity of your touch was making Wanda shiver and lose her balance. 

You withdrew your finger and then sank in again, and Wanda rested her head on your collarbone, sighing breathlessly.

- I'm sorry, Wanda. But I won't be gentle. - You whispered against her ear before sticking two fingers in without warning.

Wanda cried out against your skin, completely surrendered. You didn't wait for her to get used to the sensation, moving your fingers immediately afterwards. She bit your shoulder to keep from moaning, and her hips began to move frantically against you next, trying to increase the speed. You smiled mischievously, following her request. 

It didn't take long for her body to quiver in spasms, you delighting in the feel of her pussy tightening against your fingers. A thrust or two later, and she came apart against you, letting out a sultry moan against your ear that made your own intimacy pulsate. 

You continued to stimulate Wanda's swollen clitoris even after she came, and she bit your shoulder, trying to normalize her breathing and stop shaking. She quickly lowered her hand to yours, asking you to stop your touch, and you gave her a dirty smile before moving your fingers up to your mouth, tasting Wanda's sweet flavor on your tongue. She looked at you with dilated pupils, and then moved forward, kissing you again and tasting herself in your mouth.

Kissing like this, she was soon ready for another. But you were interrupted, a hissing noise in the distance. You grumbled, pulling away, as you helped Wanda fix her clothes. 

- Who's there? The game is over! - says a voice. You knew it was the janitor, he had probably come to lock up the locker rooms. 

You and Wanda laughed as you ran past him, holding hands, while he yelled that you couldn't be there.

When you reached the parking area, you caught a glimpse of Rogers' car parked next to Pietro's car. The four boys were there, talking. They didn't see you.

Wanda also looked and then pulled you to the corner of the wall of the school building, hidden from the rest of the place. 

- I guess this is good-bye. - You commented, letting Wanda press you against the wall, as she slung her arms around your shoulders. You kept your hands on her waist. - It's a shame really. I wanted to make you cum in my mouth.

Wanda bites her lips, holding back a giggle as her eyes sparkle with mischief.

- It doesn't have to be the last time. - She says, bringing your mouths closer together.

- No, it doesn't. - You agree, closing the distance, meeting her in a slow kiss, while your hands press her ass into you.

- Hmmm, I should go. - She grumbles, breaking the kiss without pulling away. You bring your mouths together again, biting her lip gently, which makes her close her eyes and chase after your mouth, but you don't kiss her.

- You can go. - You play, squeezing her flesh again and pressing her against you.

- Fuck. - She whispers before kissing you again, one last time. 

You separate amidst giggles and stolen kisses. Wanda gives you one last look before walking toward the parking lot. You stand there against the wall for a while, your heart racing, with the promise that this would not be the last time.

[simonsnowichooseyou]

This excellent essay was posted by @goodbyedandelion and reposted on Instagram—however their account sadly seems gone now. But it is in rememberence of their Tumblr spirit that I post a continuation to their essay!

EVEN MORE Reasons Why Carry On is so groundbreaking as a YA Fantasy/Romance

Misconceptions/Character Complexity

A large topic in YA Contemporary is gossip, but I feel like fantasy doesn’t touch on this as much. Think of how others perceive one another in Carry On. Early on we learn that Simon, for example, saw Penny as different because of her race. But of course, we quickly know this isn’t true.

But what about Agatha? In Harry Potter, for example, Lavender Brown and other feminine characters are often looked down upon because of their femininity. We often as a culture perceive beauty as overcompensation for what’s inside. Sometimes Agatha is looked at in the same light in Carry On, but when we see things from her POV, we realize that Agatha is perhaps the smartest one there. Maybe she’s not Penny Bunce-smart, but she has the survival instincts that Penny lacks.

Agatha isn’t the only one. Baz looks cold and unfeeling from others’ POVs, but we quickly learn that he is a boy with a soft heart that’s been hardened by his past. Everyone thinks he cares about nothing but we know he cares about his mother and how she’d feel about him; his father and step-mother and siblings; Simon, of course; Bunce, in his own way; he even cares about flowered suits and dramatic entrances! We think Bunce is nerdy and perhaps annoying, but we learn she’s very sweet and like a mother to Simon. And the mage. Ugh, the mage. We think he cares about Simon but we learn that for every bit he cares about Simon, he cares about the war more.

Rowell doesn’t allow any character to be simple, stereotypical, or as they appear. My sister, for example, was saying that Baz sounded like a stereotypical gay man in the media. But he’s not, is he? He might love fashion but Rowell does not make him simple or stereotypical. Everyone is so complex, and she uses the multi-POV to not just show us their complexity but also the complexity of how they are viewed by others.

Woman on Woman Drama/Anger

For years and years, only one woman was allowed to have a true seat at the table in films. Take Indiana Jones, the original Avengers, and Star Wars for example. This woman was often made to be the sex appeal or romantic interest, but I’ll save that for another day. Because of there only being one spot, it set a precedent that women in media needed to fight with each other to take that spot, thus depriving us of women getting along!

At first, I was worried Rowell had fallen into this trap. Bunce thinks Agatha is simple and too feminine, Agatha thinks Bunce is a major pain in the ass. Their dislike for one another is complicated in that they’re essentially two different types of feminism battling it out, and half of their fight was about Simon and their roles in his life.

But in the end, Penny and Agatha create a relationship that exists outside of their relationship with Simon. Penny sees Agatha’s strength and resilience; Agatha recognizes Penny’s harsh exterior for what is is. When Agatha moves away, they text without his even knowing. Penny is the one that decides they need to check on and save her. In the end, penny and Agatha fight alongside one another.

Rowell didn’t just give us a feminine friendship—she showed us what we’ve been doing, and how to get from Point A to point B. I think it’s the most underrated part of the series.

True Friendship

It might sound bad, but I truly believe a lot of today’s media ruins the idea of friendship. I just feel like none of the portrayals are realistic. Friends are either joined at the hip and have never fought (toxic) or never get along (also toxic). The fact that Baz and Penny and Simon and Penny and Agatha and Penny can get into fights but still continue to love one another platonically is really heartwarming to me.

Trauma/Mental Illness

I remember getting to the end of Harry Potter and thinking “he went through all of that and we’re just supposed to leave him now?” We see some remnants in the most cursed play ever: The Cursed Child. But more than trauma we see someone who looks back on the days they risked their life everyday with *longing.* While that’s about the most Harry Potter thing Harry Potter has ever done (and the most canonical part of that play) it’s so unrealistic. You’re telling me Harry grew up with nothing and was an amazing father—minus a few spats with his son. You’re telling me Harry was able to hold it together emotionally after fighting for his life from ages 11-18 without a therapists help? You’re telling me Harry lost two father figures in the ministry of magic AND spent 7 years going through what amounted to a lesson titled “the government is corrupt” just to be a part of that government!?

Wayward son isn’t like that. Wayward Son shows us what happened to Simon afterwards, and it’s not peaches and cream. He had therapy, he quit therapy. A lot of us have been Simon on that couch, and we all needed the Baz in our life to drag us across a metaphorical America. Wayward Son is hands-down my favorite book. Realistic depictions of mental illness, check. Subverting our expectations of after the end, check. Reading it feels like taking a road trip, check.

As OP mentioned, Simon is a beloved chosen one because he’s just so wrong for the role. He’s not levelheaded where he should be, he’s bold in all the wrong places, he couldn’t possibly maintain a professional relationship with the coven. Meanwhile his super-hot enemy Baz was the absolute perfect choice to be chosen, but he was completely passed over. And part of this chalks up to how Simon became so powerful—fate isn’t twisting its whims this way and that. Simon is only chosen because he was a Petri dish experiment-gone-wrong baby. When Simon asks the fates why, really he should be asking the mage. There’s something delightful about the fact that Simon was made. The chosen one was made, and in the same process, so was the greatest threat.

De-escalation

I think it’s clear by now that Carry On is a great book, Simon Snow is an amazing series, and Rainbow Rowell sure can write. But I feel the need to point out that the end of Carry On wasn’t well-received by everyone. I recommend the series to everyone I know and some people are really disappointed you don’t get a big magical battle at the end. Some people think Simon filling in the humdrum was a cop out. But I disagree. I felt it was thrilling to witness a book where war was as stupid in fantasy land as it can be in real life. This is the first fantasy I’ve ever read where they find a better way to handle conflict than senseless fighting. It’s emotionally rewarding, to me, to see de-escalation. To see conflicts fixed before they start to be huge problems. It was a risky choice for an end, you have to admit. But Rowell pulls it off amazingly.

Nothing is Wrapped in a Bow

A day will never go by without me thinking about the fact that Simon Snow Salisbury doesn’t know who his parents are. Or how Baz will never know what exactly happened with his mother—whether she really ended herself to avoid vampirism and whether she would’ve done it to her too. We’ll never even quite understand the mage’s plan behind fix the humdrum and get an all powerful boy wizard on his side. Rowell doesn’t wrap everything up. She gives you closure as often as she gives you something to ponder. The ending of Harry Potter was so controversial, I think, because it spelled out so clearly much of what was happening. And what you didn’t learn in that epilogue, Rowling released later through Pottermore and interviews. That’s fine and dandy—but there’s something to be said for ending Simon Snow’s books with questions. Not infuriating questions but rather things that I’ll always ponder—that will shed new light on different situations depending on how I look at them. Rowell sets a precedent that you can fill in Simon’s world with your imagination while also reminding us that life doesn’t have endings. Not really, the way books to. Rowell is one of the few writers of today’s fantasy, I’d argue, who’s okay letting things go unanswered. There’s always a thread of fantasy and magic going. It’s something that will keep Simon alive in my heart for many, many years to come.

So yeah, that’s what I think about when I think about Simon Snow. It’s not nearly as coherent as the original post but I hope you enjoy it.

[chrisevansjellybeans]

Ransom x fem!Reader

Warnings: none (yet) some swearing

Part One

You’ve never wanted to punch somebody in the face so bad until you met Ransom Drysdale. The smug, arrogant, jerk-face had been a thorn in your side since grade school. You both grew up in the Boston area, your parents sending you to the same private schools all the way through high school. You had run in similar crowds but no matter how much your mutual friends tried to get the two of you to get along you never could. For good reason though.

Your family owned and operated Cloak and Dagger Publishing, the direct rival of Ransom’s family’s publishing house, Blood Like Wine. Unlike you and Ransom, your families liked to keep the rivalry in business and not in life. Your father, Jackson Y/L/N and Harlan Thrombey were actually great friends who just liked to rib each other when it came to business, but were proud of the other’s success regardless.

But for some reason you and Ransom could never get to that level of friendship. And you weren’t in any rush to fix that.

Especially when he was pulling shit like this.

You groaned as you opened the door to your office only to see the smirking son of a bitch sitting in your chair, feet propped up on the desk and your favorite fountain pen twirling between his fingers.

“Maria, you’re fired.” You joked to your assistant who nervously looked at you from her desk right outside your door.

“I’m so sorry, Y/N! He just-”

“It’s fine. I know.” You sighed before walking fully into your office, letting the door close behind you.

“Good morning, honey.” Ransom’s voice was sickly sweet.

“Is it?” You snapped. You walked around your desk and pushed his feet off. “Get up.”

“You’re not being very kind to your guest, Y/N. What would dear daddy say about your terrible manners?” Ransom teased but stood up nonetheless. You glared up at him as he stood to his full height.

“Guests are usually wanted and invited, Ransom. Neither of which you are.”

“Honey, you hurt me.” Ransom feigned pain as he gripped his chest. You wanted to stomp your expensive Manolo Blahniks on his toes every time he called you that. It started your junior year of high school and maybe if it was anyone else you would have thought it was a term of endearment but he said it in such a condescending tone you knew it was anything but.

“What do you want, Drysdale?” You let out an exasperated breath.

“Is it so hard to believe that I just wanted to visit an old friend?”

“Ransom, please. Unlike some people I actually have work to do.” You moved around him and sat down, pulling out your laptop. You looked up at him as he watched you with intense blue eyes that made your stomach flutter, annoyingly so.

“I’m actually here for business and not pleasure, honey.” He smirked as he sat down at the chair across from you. “I’m here to formally and personally invite you to Bleeding Hearts.”

You resisted the urge to roll your eyes. Bleeding Hearts was the Thrombey annual charity gala that they hosted at Harlan’s expansive, hidden mansion. Your parents had been going every year since Harlan first hosted it and you had started going about five years ago. You would never tell Ransom, but you loved Bleeding Hearts. It gave you an excuse to wear a beautiful ball gown-albeit rented-and to feel like a beautiful princess like the ones you had read about growing up. Harlan always hired a full orchestra to play the most beautiful classical pieces throughout the night and it was like stepping into a time machine. You didn’t understand why Ransom had to come all the way down to your office just to invite you to something that you were already going to.

“I’ve already had Maria send in my RSVP and donation, Ransom. So thank you for the courtesy, but it really wasn’t needed.” You rubbed at your temples, a tension headache now forming from all this ‘excitement’ so early in the morning. And before you’ve even had a sip of your coffee.

“I know. And you gave a nice amount this year. Did daddy finally up your monthly allowance?” He smirked.

Just one punch. Just one and then I’ll be satisfied. Technically he’s trespassing, it could be called self defense.

“Goodbye, Ransom.” You blocked him out as you opened your email and began typing away. You got about two sentences out before you felt your laptop being shut against your hands.

“I wasn’t done.” Ransom whispered, you didn’t realize how close he was until you looked up. He was now leaning over your desk, one hand on your laptop and one hand on the edge of the desk closest to you.

“Shame.”

“I’m here to ask if you wanted to come...as my date.” You snorted out a laugh and laughed even harder as a look of annoyance crossed over his face. He stood up and straightened out his shirt almost nervously.

“God, you’re funny. Now please leave. You’ve already wasted so much of my time with this little joke.” You rolled your eyes as you opened your laptop again.

“I wasn’t kidding, Y/N.” His words were sharp and his eyes blazing.

“Neither was I. Get out of my office, Ransom. Or I will call security.” You glared right back at him.

Ransom looked like he was about to say something but decided against it. He tapped his fingers against your desk and gave you a mock salute.

“See ya around, honey.”

“Close the door on your way out.” You muttered.

You clenched your fists as he left your office, leaving your door wide open. You could hear him laughing his ass all the way down the hall.

Damn you, Ransom Drysdale.

“Y/N, I am so sorry. He just kind of walked in.” Maria rushed into your office, almost tripping over her far too high heels.

“Ria, it’s fine. I know how he is.” You waved her off, giving her a sympathetic smile. “Please, don’t worry about it.”

“Okay…” she said nervously. When you gave her another reassuring smile she relaxed her shoulders. “I have to say though, he is really sexy.”

“Maria.” You sighed. “Get out.”

“Sorry.” She squeaked before exiting your office, closing the door fully.

You leaned back in your chair and let out a long breath. How had today already been the longest day and it wasn’t even nine?

“Good afternoon, sweetheart.”

“Good afternoon, dad.” You smiled as your father snuck his way into your office.

You and your dad had always been close. When you were younger he called you his “little shadow” because you loved to follow him around throughout his day. You would sit in on meetings and you loved when he would let you pretend to lead the team briefings in the morning. It was only natural that you would follow in his footsteps and work for Cloak and Dagger.

Your father always pushed you to be your best. He didn’t let you take shortcuts to get where you were today in the company. You worked your way up and proved your worth and made your father proud.

“What’s this I hear of Ransom Drysdale stopping in this morning?” He sat down across from you.

You rolled your eyes. “Because he doesn’t have anything better to do than irritate me.”

Your father laughed as he slid in his glasses up to the top of his head and then pinched the bridge of his nose. “You two have been fighting like cats and dogs since you were kids. Will this feud between the two of you ever end? And can it be soon? I made a bet with Harlan that you two would finally stop by the time you were twenty-five.”

“Glad to see that my torture has been amusement for you and your little buddy.”

“Just teasing, sugar plum.”

“Please, let’s talk about anything else besides Ransom Drysdale. I’m begging you.” You gave him a warning look over the top of your computer.

“Fine by me.” He clapped his hands together and leaned forward. “How’s it going with Brooke Archer? Has she committed to C&D yet?”

Brooke Archer was an upcoming mystery novelist. Critics called her “the Agatha Cristie of our time” and rightfully so. You had read her first two novels and finished them within a day, completely entranced by her style of writing that had you guessing till the end. She was notoriously self-publishing but now that her books were blowing up she had finally made the decision to sign with a major publishing house. And your father had tasked you with landing her.

“I have a lunch meeting with her tomorrow. I think this could be the closing meeting.” You said confidently.

“Good. I’m proud of you, sugar plum.” He tapped his fingers on your desk. “And please text your mother back. She’s freaking out over what to make for dinner tonight.”

Confused, you pulled your phone out of your bag. You sighed when you saw that you had thirteen missed texts from your lovable but definitely eccentric mother.

“You’d think she’d know what I like by now.” You joked.

“What can I say, she’s a perfectionist.” You dad laughed before saying goodbye and exiting your office.

As you were typing out a response your phone dinged with a new message.

I hope you’re thinking about my proposal from earlier. Wasn’t kidding around this time honey.

Your thumbs hovered over the screen. How the hell had Ransom even gotten your number?

And like I said earlier, neither was I. The answer is no.

He responded only seconds later:

No ugly colors, don’t want to clash with my suit.

You had to give it to him, the man had tenacity.

You’re annoying.

Ransom only responded with a winky face. You shook your head as you exited his chat and went back to responding to your mother, barely noticing the smile that was covering your face thinking of that annoyingly handsome pain in your ass.

[iamnotoriginalphil]

That agatha harkness fic made me gayer ebekebkejekeks could u write a smut of her if that's cool with you? A agatha x female! Maybe reader finds out who agnes really is and what her plan with Wanda is (bonus is reader is also a witch and just wants to do good lmao and not get on Wandas bad side) and gets really angry with agatha for going to far with wandas twins and the two fight in the basement until agatha shuts her up with a kiss turning into a heated make out and they basically fuck it out?👀👀 because they do love one another just angry lmaoo (If your done with that)

Ahaha, everything about Agatha makes me super gay. I hope you like this one too. 

To say that living in Westview had been a wild ride would be an understatement. You’d arrived when the sheer amount of power had called to you, guiding you to the small town in New Jersey. You’d barely managed to get through the barrier with your mind intact. Finding a 1950s sitcom was not what you’d been expecting. Realising one of the Avengers was at the heart of the whole thing was even more unexpected.

Finding the legendary Agatha Harkness staking out her territory was the most mind blowing part in the entire situation,

You hadn’t meant to stay so long, not when you’d realised what you’d stumbled in on. You had no interest in coming between two powerful witches that far outclassed you. But still, something kept you from leaving.

You tried to tell yourself it had nothing to do with the dark witch with the ice blue eyes. There was only so long that lie could last.

You’d grown up hearing the stories about the power she held, the things she’d done, the way she should be feared. You hadn’t expected the magnetism you felt towards her, nor the way she took you under her wing. You might not have agreed with her plan but you couldn’t help wanting to be by her side. Not that you were going to tell her that.

In all the warnings you’d been given, not a single one had been about not falling in love with Agatha Harkness.

You thought you’d be able to put aside what she was doing with Wanda. If you ignored it then it didn’t have to exist. Until it did.

You caught the moment Agatha presented Sparky to Wanda’s boys. Watching their faces crumple had you clutching at the window sill until your knuckles turned white. You turned away from the window, not wanting to watch anymore. You stayed in the kitchen, staring at the boiling kettle until you heard the front door open and close. Her footsteps retreated down the basement steps. You gritted your teeth, knowing you couldn’t stand by anymore and watch her torture children, even if they weren’t real. You gave her a couple more seconds before you slipped downstairs.

She was standing, reading from one of her books, her hand almost absentmindedly moving through the air. Purple smoke curled around her fingers like a lover caressing her skin. You hovered on the fringes, watching her. You worried your lower lip between your teeth, your hands wringing together.

“Are you going to keep standing there, hon, or are you going to come in?”

You jumped when she spoke. You shouldn’t have been surprised. She always seemed to know exactly where you were. You took a step into the circle. She turned to you, a smile already on her face. It made your heart skip a beat.

“Something on your mind, darling?” she asked.

“I don’t like what you did with Sparky,” you said, “you went too far this time.”

“It’s all part of the plan. There’s nothing to be concerned about,” she said, brushing you off.

“I thought the plan was to find the source of Wanda’s power, not mess with her kids,” you said, “I didn’t sign up for hurting children.”

“Those kids are a part of her,” she said, “they don’t actually exist. No real kids were harmed in the making of this episode.”

“It doesn’t feel that way,” you said.

Her book closed with a snap and she turned on her heels. You were surprised to see her jaw clenched and her eyes harden as they took you in. You lifted your chin, not willing to back down on this. You had no interest in hurting any innocent bystanders.

“I’m not sure I liked the person I saw tonight.”

She took a step towards you. For the first time you saw the threatening aura you’d been warned about time and time again. Your fists clenched, your nails digging into the palm of your hands.

“No one has asked you to like me,” she said, “you signed up for this when you agreed to help me.”

“Well, maybe I made a mistake then,” you said.

She froze. You took a step towards her, hating the way her whole demeanour had turned cold.

“I’m not saying don’t do what you have to with Wanda. Just leave the kids out of it,” you said.

“You are not in charge here,” she snapped.

“I know I’m not,” you replied, “but if you want my help the least you could do is this one thing.”

She growled low in her throat, stepping into your personal space. You could see the power gathering in her hands. You flinched back, knowing how vulnerable you were. There was nothing you could do when encircled by her runes. She took another step, forcing you to take another back.

She advanced on you until your back hit the rough stone wall. A squeak left your lips. You looked up into her eyes, frozen by the ice you saw in them. She bared her teeth at you.

“Maybe you should leave then,” she snarled. For a moment her harsh gaze flickered, just enough to see some other unnamed emotion behind her mask. You wished you could figure out what it was. And just like that it was gone again, nothing but ice remaining.

“If that’s what you want, then fine. I’ll go,” you said.

“Why are you still here then?” she asked.

“Because you have to say it. You have to say ‘I want you to leave me and never come back’. Otherwise I won’t know it’s what you really want,” you replied.

Her mouth opened then hung there, waiting. The seconds ticked by. You waited for the words to come out of her mouth.

“Well?” You hated how harsh you sounded.

Instead of responding she surged forward, her hands slamming into the wall either side of your head. You jumped, your eyes dragging up to find hers. She snarled at you and it shouldn’t have sent a shot of desire through your body but it did.

“There’s no point staying if you don’t want to be here,” she said.

“I never said I didn’t want to be here,” you snapped, “you’re the one saying that.”

Her brow wrinkled. You pressed your hands against the rough brick wall, steadying them.

“I don’t want to leave,” you said.

You weren’t expecting her to lean forward and capture your lips with hers. You gasped into her mouth. She drew back, staring at you with wide eyes. You blinked at her, waiting for her to say something. When she didn’t you surged forward, wrapping your arms around her neck, pressing your body to hers and kissing her with as much emotion as you could.

She grabbed your hips in a vice like grip, pushing you back against the wall. You made a needy little noise in the back of your throat as you wound your fingers in her hair, kissing her like she was the air you breathed. Her tongue swiped along your bottom lip until you gave her entrance.

Her hands slid up your body, leaving fire in the wake of her trailing fingers. You shivered, trying to press closer to her. The warmth of her magic surrounded you, pinning you back against the wall, an immovable force keeping you there while her hands wandered higher and higher. You whined into her mouth. She nipped at your lower lip, almost playful. Your fingers tightened in her hair and it was as if you’d unleashed something in her.

She cupped your breasts, squeezing at the supple flesh. She tugged on your lip with her teeth before moving down the column of your neck. Your head fell back, your eyes slipping closed as her fingers found your cloth covered nipples. She was harsh as she twisted, the pain and pleasure mingling into a haze in your head. It was too much. It wasn’t enough.

She gave a sharp suck to your pulse point, her tongue soothing over it. She pushed her hands up your shirt, trailing over bare skin. You lifted your arms, letting her tear it off you, quickly followed by your bra.

She pinched at your nipples, rolling them between thumb and forefinger. You were a gasping mess, barely able to catch your breath. Her teeth sunk into your shoulder. You grabbed at the hem of her shirt, tugging on it, wanting to see her bare before you. It might kill you with how beautiful she was but it was a risk you were willing to take.

She let you pull the shirt from her body, dropping it to the floor beside you. Your fingers tripped along her ribs, sliding around to catch the bumps of her spine. One of her hands grasped your thigh, the other following suit. She hoisted you up, your legs wrapping around your waist. You tugged on the end of her hair. She growled into your skin, her teeth skimming over the sensitive expanse. You tugged again until she looked up at you.

You kissed her, your teeth clashing together as your tongues fought for dominance. You hummed into her mouth, tightening your legs around her until it felt like you might crush her. She dug her fingers into the flesh of your ass, leaving bruises to be found later.

You couldn’t stop yourself from nipping at her lower lip.

She pressed her lips under your jaw, trailing down. You pulled on her hair until she was looking at you, blue eyes bright. You kissed her deeply, your nails scratching down her back. She let out a frustrated growl as she palmed at your ass, her fingers catching on your belt loops.

“Take them off,” you demanded.

“What was that?” she asked.

“Take the damned things off,” you huffed.

She let you down, her hands grasping the waistband of your trousers. One of your hands slid down from her shoulders until you gently cupped one of her breasts. You ran your thumb over her nipple, feeling it pebble under your touch. Her chest arched into your hand, her breath growing rapid. You lent forward, capturing the other in your mouth.

“Fuck,” she mumbled.

You glanced up, watching her head tip back. One of her hands buried in your hair while the other ran along the skin of your lower stomach. You grasped her hips, spinning the two of you around, slamming her body against the wall. She let out a surprised breath.

You kneeled, pulling her trousers down with you. She stepped out of them, kicking them to the side. You didn’t hesitate to pull her leg over your shoulder. Your teeth sunk into the vulnerable skin of her inner thigh, marking her as yours. Her fingers tightened in your hair painfully.

“Stop fucking teasing,” she hissed.

Looking up you found her watching you, pupils blown wide, lips kiss swollen, and hair wild. She’d never looked so beautiful.

The first touch was tentative. Hearing a soft groan, you dove in. You lapped at her entrance, enjoying the way her fingers twisted in your hair, pulling you closer. The taste of her on your tongue was the only thing that mattered to you.

You wrapped your lips around her bundle of nerves, giving an experimental suck. She made a high pitched noise, trembling against you. You moaned and she pulled you closer, profanities falling from her lips. You gave a harsh suck, wanting her to fall apart.

Instead she pushed you off her, hard enough for you to fall on your ass. She fell to her knees, straddling your lap. She grabbed the waistband of your pants, tearing them off your body. She pressed one hand to the centre of your chest pushing you down. You stared up at her as she straddled your waist, leaning forward to kiss you again.

You grasped her hips, gasping into her mouth as her fingertips ran over your nipples, barely there. You arched towards her but her fingers were already moving on, caressing down your body. Her mouth began to travel downwards, nipping at you here and there.

Her fingers ran through your folds. You arched up, hold tightening on her hips. Her tongue flicked over your nipple. You slipped your hands around until you found her warmth, mirroring her actions. Her hips rutted against you.

She began to slowly circle your clit, your own hand following suit. Her lips attached to your neck again. Your legs fell open and she straddled one of your thighs. You let your finger graze over her bundle of nerves. She nipped at your pulse point as her hips ground down. Her own finger pressed down on your clit until you were crying out.

You pushed two fingers into her, watching as her head fell back. You pumped your fingers into her, setting a hard and fast pace. You loved the way your name fell from her lips like a prayer.

In retaliation she pushed her own fingers into you, curling within you. Your pace stuttered. She grinned down at you as your hips thrust up to her, looking for her touch. You ground your palm against her clit, watching the smile slip from her face with a gasp.

You could feel the coil within you tightening as she worked your body like a pro. You were holding on, refusing to let go until she did first. She must have been having the same kind of thoughts because although she was grinding down on your hand with abandon she wasn’t falling over the edge.

And then she added a third finger. There was nothing you could do. She filled you so perfectly and you couldn’t hold it back. You came, your hips bucking against her. You’d never felt something as intense as that, pleasure coursing through your veins.

She stared down at you, her own hips moving in a fast rhythm atop you. You didn’t have a chance to come back to yourself before she joined you with a scream. All you could do was watch as her face contorted with pleasure and her breathing stopped. You were so enchanted by her.

As her breathing steadied she lent forward, pressing her forehead against yours. Your eyes closed while your arms wrapped around her waist, pressing her body flush against yours. She chuckled.

“I wasn’t expecting that from you, doll,” she murmured.

“You can’t say you haven’t noticed how I feel about you,” you said, “I didn’t think I was being very subtle.”

“I meant the arguement,” she said, “the sex was an added bonus.”

You laughed, gently pushing her up. She sat up, still straddling your leg. You followed suit, keeping your arms loosely wrapped around her waist.

“I suppose this is as a good time as any to tell you I’m in love with you,” you said.

She cupped your cheek, pulling you in for a kiss. It was soft and sweet and took your breath away. You melted against her.

“I love you too,” she said.

“So you don’t want me to leave?” you asked, trying to keep the smirk from your face.

“Never,” she replied.

You kissed her again, making her a promise you were only too happy to keep.

Tags: @paulawand

[pla-teau]

WANDAVISION EPISODE 6 THOUGHTS

SPOILERS AHEAD. YOU’VE BEEN WARNED!

GOOD GOD I HAVE A LOT OF THOUGHTS

GIF NOT MINE

pietro maximoff as ‘himself’ | in the opening credits, pietro is introduced as playing himself? this just made me more suspicious about him and who he really is. it’s like wanda (since she’s the one broadcasting her show) trying to convince us, and herself, that this is her dead brother.

billy talking to us | i know tommy talks to the camera at the beginning for a brief minute but it’s mainly billy talking. i think this was a hint at his incoming powers. plus, in promo trailers for the ‘modern family’ episode, wanda’s the one talking to the camera. i bet we’ll see the kids talk to the camera in that episode but i just find it interesting that billy’s the one leading us through the beginning of the episode. plus, in rewatching the episode, pietro seems to be aware of billy talking to us and reacts to when billy talks about vision and wanda’s relationship going through a rough patch.

haydick hayward’s an ass | there’s no denying that hayward has something up his suspicious ass. first with showing the footage of wanda stealing vision’s body. then, putting in a missile and planning on killing wanda. yea, the five years were hard for everyone - no one’s denying it but there’s just something that isn’t right. we clearly see that he’s hiding something when darcy finds a file of sorts that only hayward can see and that he’s been able to track vision without telling the team. either he’s got a personal vendetta or he’s covering for something more sinister. personally, i think he’s just pissed that wanda, one of the most powerful beings in the universe, took away vision’s body when he needed it to create more weapons and whatever else he was planning. i wanted monica to punch him in the throat when he told her it was better that she wasn’t around when her mom died. bless monica for keeping her cool.

wanda’s interaction with herb | their brief interaction makes me believe that herb is just as aware as agnes (if she happens to be a victim in all this and not agatha harkness) about what’s happening. we got a hint about it in episode 3 when he tried to tell vision what geraldine’s purpose in westview was. we see him mimic agnes from the previous episode when he asks wanda if there’s anything she wants changed. he looks to her the same way agnes did when she was thrown off script. both these times involve vision throwing everything off. vision’s the one that’s been off script from the beginning of the episode this time around instead of after a weird event.

residents being in a loop or immobile | as vision gets farther from wanda and explores westview, it’s evident that there’s something off about the people. we get that shot of the woman and presumably her husband stuck in a time loop of hanging decorations and putting a pumpkin on the front steps. the woman not only sheds a tear but her hands look purplish presumably because of the cold or being stuck doing the same task for god knows how long. clearly, the woman’s in pain and is aware that she can’t break free. as vision gets closer to the loop, residents are completely immobile and stuck wherever they stand. it’s eerie and further proves that this may be wanda’s doing and wherever she is, it’s easy for the residents to be active or for her to control those near her. it could also mean that the closer you are to the hex’s border, that you become immobile as you’re farther removed from the fantasy life wanda has created.

yo-magic commercial | by far the creepiest and most disturbing commercial in the series. i’ve seen people theorize that this commercial is referring to wanda’s detainment on the raft in civil war. it would make sense since the yogurt could represent wanda’s powers and opening the lid should be simple and easy, just like using your powers. on the raft, wanda was detained with a straitjacket and a collar on her neck so she couldn’t use her magic. the island could represent the raft since it was in the ocean. ‘yo-magic, the snack for survivors’ could represent wanda being a survivor in many instances: strücker’s experiments, the battle of sokovia and the lagos incident.

pietro’s ‘part’ | when wanda questions pietro, he gets defensive about how he’s just trying to do his part: come unexpectedly, create tension with vision, stir up trouble with the twins, and ultimately give wanda grief. grief holding a double meaning. obviously, pietro did bring wanda grief when he died in 2015 but it also means to cause trouble which he has done since his arrival to westview. whenever wanda questions him about their childhood or tries to trip him up, pietro retorts with a question or makes rather meta remarks about westview.

the details are fuzzy | the comment pietro makes after a moment of silence between them. he claims he got shot in the middle of the street and next thing he knew wanda was calling her. i think when ‘pietro’ was brought into the westview reality, his memories mixed with those of wanda’s pietro or skewed them at least - it’s probably why things seem hazy to him and can see that wanda doesn’t believe him to be the pietro she remembers. pietro knows he looks different to wanda and it’s like a comment to us because even though pietro only appeared in one movie with wanda - we the audience know he’s not the same actor. this could also be mephisto really mind tripping wanda because she would remember what her brother looked like but the memories are remembered differently. enough to keep her on edge with him and make her suspect but not want to because he also says “i knew you needed me” no stranger would say that right? of course, siblings and family can tell when another member needs them. this episode really makes you laugh at pietro’s antics but go down a rabbit hole with every line he says.

the hex’s effects on people | when darcy explains to monica that her cells have been greatly affected by her entrance and departure from the hex, it doesn’t seem like monica is surprised. maybe this is hinting that monica already has her powers or simply mean that she’s putting on a poker face to hide her fear (or astonishment) at wanda’s level of power. it’s interesting to see if wanda’s gonna be responsible for birthing some mutants or at least awakening the x gene if it hasn’t already. does it mean that anyone can simply leave or that if you leave, you’ll come out with serious side effects that are possibly life threatening? monica states at the end that she’s seen cells in remission which makes me believe that this is hinting at the x gene. we’ve seen what the hex does once you go in, but what happens if an ordinary westview resident leaves?

agnes and vision | we see agnes in her car supposedly leaving town or as she claims, she got ‘lost’. when vision takes her out of her trance, agnes seems shaken and even questions if she’s dead. she also seems to confirm that wanda is the one controlling everyone because she doesn’t even let them think about leaving westview. we see more of where vision���s memory stands because he doesn’t remember (or know) that he was an avenger and that he died (twice). when she says that all is lost, she quickly starts laughing maniacally like a witch. this again makes me think that agnes knows more than anyone what’s going on. assessing what she got from vision, she’s probably laughing because it’s amazing to her that wanda’s gotten so powerful and maybe everything is going according to plan - she just possibly couldn’t overcome wanda’s control and only has a heightened awareness of the situation. there’s no mention of ralph this episode and you would think she’d bring along her husband to leave and go to her desired destination in town. i don’t know, i still think she’s got an ulterior motive and plays a bigger part in all of this.

the twins’ conversation | after sharing a sweet moment, pietro quickly calls out the obvious - the kids. only in episode 3 did children finally come into the show through billy and tommy. now, for halloween, all the kids are out and enjoying halloween. pietro, like rapid fire, remarks that wanda probably kept them peacefully asleep in their beds and didn’t wake them until now for the “occasional holiday episode cameo” so as not to traumatize them even more since she’s always been the “empathetic twin”. he seems to know that this is all in a television reality which gives him even more awareness than any other supporting character we’ve met so far. he even goes into assessing (and somewhat praising?) wanda’s handling of this whole westview reality as ethically possible. he knows that wanda wouldn’t rewrite everything: couples and families stay together and personalities aren’t far off from what they are. with this, it heavily hints that this isn’t the pietro we’ve known in the mcu or the peter from the x-men universe. to me, this furthers the point that this ‘pietro’ is just a puppet for whoever is behind all this (or just a multiverse version of piet) since he seems more impressed than anything by wanda’s powers. also, he’s been the only one to ask what we’ve all been thinking since the first episode: how the hell did wanda do this? once again, wanda doesn’t remember how all of it started which still makes me thinks she was probably taken advantage of by someone and earlier in the episode when recounting a childhood memory, pietro comments that she’s probably suppressed the trauma hence why she doesn’t remember it the same way. at the end, this could all be wanda’s doing due to her feeling so alone and grieving that she may have suppressed that memory of how this all started.

pietro’s corpse | again, us the audience and wanda are reminded that this universe’s pietro is dead. it’s another person closest to wanda that isn’t alive - harking back to her comment about feeling so alone and endless nothingness. this may just be that when wanda lets her guard down and is possibly at peace with a situation, this one being of her accepting that this is the pietro that’s going to be her brother that sticks with her moving forward, she’s reminded of the truth - none of it is real and she can’t bring them back.

vision’s breakout from the hex | as we’ve seen in promos, vision is able to break through the hex. what we were hit with was vision nearly getting killed...again. it seems that he can’t live beyond the hex either due to him just being parts when wanda recovered him or because wanda won’t let him go. either way, vision can’t live outside of westview. it physically seems like wanda can’t let him go because as he steps out of the hex and is being torn apart, the hex looks like it’s trying to pull him back into it. i know the hex was wanda’s doing but this physically makes it seem as if wanda can’t let him go and is holding him back. it’s kind of true because since vision became more aware, he’s been breaking away from wanda and she’s been trying to keep him in place and on script so that they can be happy together. in their fight in the previous episode, she says that all of this is for them as to say that everything she’s doing is for their happiness. it’s a twisted way of showing how vision can’t live without wanda since it seems that she’s the one keeping him alive.

wanda expanding the hex | wanda’s clearly gotten more powerful over the years and this episode really shows us how fucking powerful she is on her own. it’s hysterical that the base and the most of the agents are turned into circus acts such as clowns. i’ll admit i’m upset darcy got sucked in and not hayward. i’m very interested to see who monica’s guy on the outside is. with wanda expanding the hex, it’s becoming more evident that wanda may be the ‘villain’ of the show or if there is someone else behind all of this, we may not see them until multiverse of madness. still, i believe wanda is victim in some capacity - even if it means she’s fallen victim to her trauma and grief.

[themadauthorshatter]

Do you guys know what could've been kind of interesting to see in SGE? More specifically, the first book? Tedros realizing he has some possible feelings for Agatha while still thinking he's in love with Sophie.

Think of it like this:

Tedros trying to be closer with Sophie, i.e. trying to talk about his life back in Camelot, any frustrations he's having in his classes or with his friends, or even just wanting to know more about HER, but Sophie only hugs his arm, rests her head on his shoulder, or simply holds his hand and tells him she loves him.

Upon seeing this, his mind and eyes drift to Agatha, who is doing something like getting some homework done early or practicing some magic. Maybe he sees Kiko and Agatha together and Kiko is complaining about accidentally dying her hair green and making it all spiky, so Agatha waves a glowimg finger and fixes it right up for her, explaining to Kiko, who wanted blonde hair, that she's beautiful with her dark hair and Tristan is an idiot if he doesn't see that; not a very "Agatha" line, but I imagine she'd be tired of seeing and hearing Kiko cry and is genuine in her words because Kiko's nice to her and a pretty decent friend.

Maybe a challenge happens where people from the opposite side partner with each other and Tedros OBVIOUSLY partners with Sophie.

Agatha, however, doesn't get a chamce to think before Hester and Anadil equally take a step forward-

AND HORT CRASHES INTO AGATHA INSTEAD-He wants to get Sophie back for using him, and Hester is not taking her away from him.

Even with a possible concussion, Agatha and Hort do well, the challenge being getting across a deep and raging river by walking across a log or something, I'm not good at making up challenges for fairytales.

Because she's in heels and doesn't want to ruin her makeup, Sophie crawls across the log rather than walks, which makes Tedros have to slow down and wait for her.

I should probably mention that this log is close to the water and is cracking beneath them, so THEY NEED TO GTFO the log.

Tedros knows this, but doesn't want to leave Sophie(both because they'll get points taking away for leaving their partner and he's still pretty sure he loves her).

Chekhov's gun fires. The log breaks and both Sophie and Tedros fall in and are swept away beneath the surface.

Agatha follows with most of the students and Yuba following.

Because she's a smart person, can swin, and doesn't care about her looks, unlike many of the other students, Agatha recruits Chaddick, because he's strong, and Anadil, with she has rats, which are CRAZY intelligent, and they find another dead tree or a vine or something to put over the river, thin enough for Sophie and Tedros to grab, but thick enough that it won't break. Anadil kicks her maguc into overdrive and grows her rats to be the size of pitbulls, and Chaddick and Agatha use them to get to Tedros and Sophie out of the river before the tree or vine snaps.

I'm sorry for making Anadil OP, but she's exhausted when her rats are back to their normal sizes, too tired to even stand up as she glares at Agatha and tells her, "That is the last time I'm helping you."

Tedros storms back to the Evers with Sophie trailing behind him, begging for him to listen as she apologizes.

Under water, she had flailed and held Tedros down as he tried to get above the surface, which almost made them both drown.

He doesn't talk to her at lunch, but does notice Chaddick awkwardly commending Agatha for her quick thinking. By awkward, I mean it's almost painful to watch him find the right words to thank this "witch" for helping to save his best friend.

Again, this is an awkward exchange and it takes a few minutes for Agath to understand Chaddick and not get offended.

Tedros thinks on this and considers all the "connection" moments he's had like the goblin challenge where he mistook Agatha for Sophie and when he picked Agatha's coffin.

Sophie notices him staring and asks if everything's alright and why he isn't paying attention to her; water on the brain.

He shrugs, smiles, and says it's nothing, which makes Sophie smile and go back to talkimg, Tedros inconspicuously watching Agatha cackle her giddy ass off when Beatrix accidentally falls in mud while trying to approach Tedros in glass slippers. Kiko laughs behind her hand, but is close to tears. Agatha does magic her clean, but Beatrix still pouts and gets a little mad, even if the squeal she did was nothing short of hilarious.

Trial By Tale happens, events and all, but Tedros doesn't instantly break up with Sophie. He keeps his distance instead.

One night, after he's won and hasn't spoken a word to Sophie or sat near her at lunch, eating in his room instead to avoid her and because he's still a little injured, he is awake and can't sleep, so he wanders the quiet school halls, watching snow fall and reminiscing about home and how his school year's been, maybe even having a made up conversation with his father about what's happened.

HOW COINCIDENTAL THAT AGATHA IS ALSO OUT OF HER ROOM AND LEANING AGAINST A LEDGE TO ALSO WATCH THE SNOW.

This is the conversation between them that follows:

(Agatha turns to look at him with annoyed eyes)"... Here to call me a witch again?"

"Well, as long as you don't punch me again, I won't."

(Narrows her eyes a little mire before turning back to the snow.) "Why are you out here?"

(Tedros leans against the wall facing her and tips his head back, watching the snow.) "Can't sleep. Hester's demon got me better than I thought." (Chuckle) "I still have a bruise on my side from the thing."

(Agatha gulps as she remembers how it broke into pieces and attacked him, but says nothing.)

"How about you? Does the witch have you doing her work for her again?"

(Agatha gasps, surprised by the jab to her friend and at how he figured it out. Tedros's face is mostly expressionless, though he does raise an eyebrow as if to say, 'Go 'head. Prove me wrong.' She relaxes again and shakes her head.) "My room doesn't have a good view of the trees. I bet it's snowing in Gavaldon, too. Harder than it is here, maybe."

"Gavaldon?"

"My village. Where Sophie and I came from. Our home."

(Tedros laughs) "I'm sorry, how long have you two been friends for?"

"Long enough. What about you? What brings the prince of Camelot out to watch the first snow of winter?"

(Tedros's smile drops as he returns his gaze to outside.) "Like I said. I couldn't sleep."

"Why are you REALLY out here?"

(Tedros is silent for a few seconds, biting his lip because he's obviously uncomfortable.) "... Your village. Gavaldon. Do you... miss it?"

(After another second of silence, Agatha responds.) "A little bit. We were better friends there, at least. And I miss my cat."

(Tedros humms quietly as he gives a slight nod, biting back a 'witch' comment.)

"I guess you're used to the attention. Being the prince and all."

(Tedros shrugs and scratches the back of his neck.) "Sort of. Not really. No one ever followed me around like Beatrix. Could you see a maid being on my tail like SHE does?"

(Agatha can't help but laugh, Tedros chucklong with her before his smile drops.)

"I don't know. I mean..." (He leans on the ledge.) "I like being with my mates and all, but... it gets annoying when there's always a couple of girls giggling at you behind the corner. I miss my room, too. And the library. And the court yard. And the garden. And the field."

(His voice breaks at that last one, but Agatha doesn't bring it up. Instead, it's her turn to talk about home.)

"I miss my mom. We didn't really get along, but she's my family, Reaper, too."

"You named your cat Reaper?"

"He took care of our rat and bird problem. You'd be surprised at how many blue jays come to a cemetery." (Agatha's smile drops.) "I miss that, too, the cemetery. It was quiet. And just reading fairytales in my room instead of studying to BE in one."

(Tedros nods at that, no joke or quip.) "It's all fun until you learn how dangerous it all really is." (He is silent for a second, gulping and running his hand through his hair.) "Thanks, by the way."

(Agatha turns to him, playing coy because she's not used to the Evers ACTUALLY being nice to her, save for Kiko.) "For what?"

"The Trial. Saving me. I don't think I'd be here, if you didn't."

(Agatha blushes and looks at her hands.) "No... No problem. I mean... Well... I guess that..."

(Tedros smiles and slips some hair behind her ear and kisses her hand.) "'You're welcome, Tedros. I hope you can repay me, somehow, Tedros.'"

(Agatha almost tells him to forgive Sophie, but instead says something else.) "Can you talk to Sophie? She's sorry about what happened and she really does love you."

(Tedros frowns.) "Love isn't pulling someone down with you when you're under water. And neither is leaving your teammate to fight alone."

"You said you wanted to repay me, this is how. Do you really want to be indebted to a witch?"

(Tedros reluctantly nods.) "Fine. I'll talk to her."

"Thank you."

(Agatha turns and walks back to her room, but Tedros only watches her leave, speaking when she's out of ear shot.) "I don't think you're a witch."

I feel like I could add more, but this will be enough for now.

I hope you guys enjoyed, sorry if this came off as fanfiction-y or any of the characters were a little OP, magic or otherwise. And like I said in my progress post, this is just what I would have done to have Tedros and Agatha fall in love, or start falling in love

Either way, I hope you enjoyed this

Incase you're interested, here's a link to part 2: https://themadauthorshatter.tumblr.com/post/642332442965983232/im-bored-im-continuing-with-that-tagatha

[praphit]

WandaVision: When you can’t let go of that robo-lovin.

So, I just finished watching "WandaVision", and I must say, right off the bat 

- I LOVED IT!

Disney Plus is finally paying off. I'm in the group of peeps who got DP, not for the mouse, but for the ones whom the mouse is in bed with, and most recently on Mickey's playtime Marvel List - Wanda Maximoff and her robo-boy toy VISION... or is that “THE Vision”? - that seems kinda ostentatious, but whatever.

When I first heard that Wanda was getting a series, I said "Who cares?" I don't care bout no Wanda! What has she been other than a weird pest?

Let's review:

She tried to kill the Avengers, she accidentally injures and kills innocent people, she was getting in the way, so Tony Stark had to get his CPU (Vision) to babysit her, she falls in love with the CPU - can we talk about how strange this is? I didn't say wrong, just different, cuz honestly, we may be headed there soon. That movie "Her" might be a reality with how tech is going these days.

But, imagine I come to your home and fall in love with your laptop (which messes everything up for you with all your devices and your social media), THEN (as Wanda did with Vision), I run off on some romantic journey with all of your devices. Imagine how Tony would have felt, if he was still with us.

She had one job when it came to Thanos, and it ended up not mattering.

Then, went full rage on the wrong Thanos.

Idk if that’s a look (Thanos) pain, release, of he’s listening to his jam. Kinda looks like he’s saying “JESUS”. But, Wanda is pissed.

Wanda: "You took everything from me!"

Thanos: "Lady, I don't even know you!"

I didn't care about Wanda. But, damn, Marvel is so good that in one episode they made me care; one trailer, really.

If you had not seen the trailer for this series, you might be confused by the first episode. 

You might even ask yourself - "What the bleep is this nonsense?!" We want heroes vs villains. We want super-powered explosions. We want capes, ridiculously tight clothes, bulky armor, and anything else that makes no sense to fight in.

You're giving me "Bewitched"?

I DID see the trailer, so I knew going in that it would be a slow burn with some nostalgia, some quirks, and some eeriness; right up my alley.

The change in Tv decade styles btw *chef kiss*

I figured that they'd be trapped in some mysterious, magical world - which they are...

Unless you're super geeky with the funny books, there's no way you'll see what's coming in this mystery.

And it IS a mystery, not only to the audience, but for the characters involved in this show. Don't nobody know what the hell is going on.

But, LaWanda and Vishawn 

(sorry, I just wanted to use this pic - Ha! Y'all are crazy.)had help figuring things out:

Rambo

Yeah, it's actually Monica Rambeau, 

but... admit it, some of you kept thinking about Rambo too, right?? No offense to this actress, but I'd rather see old man Sly play Rambo, and HIM be in this mysterious WandaVision town. Let's get Disney a lil bloody. Wishful thinking, I suppose.

Marvel WILL BE venturing into multiple universes soon, so perhaps Rambo finds his way to team up with The Punisher? Huh?? YEAH!

But, no... Rambeau (meh No personality, but whatever).

Randall Park - 

He's that person we all know who has made us laugh so much in life, that they don't even need to say anything anymore; you look at them and laugh. I love this dude!

Kat Dennings - 

I remember liking her more in the Thor movies.  I found her annoying, this time around.   She joins the mystery to figure tech stuff out, and she's a doctor or something (don't you forget it!). She also asks the team she just meets to get her some coffee, and acts like they're disrespecting HER, by their lack of response. I know she's a doctor and all, but damn! Imagine some electrician comes to your place to serve YOU, they're condescending to you, and then  they ask you for some coffee. Get the hell outta here!

Oh, and there's a dude named “Director Dick”. That's my name for him, but the name fits.

The people in this town are acting out as if they've been scripted for some show. And all of these characters, AND US, get to figure it out together - through antics from different times in Tv culture. 

Times sure were different back in the day:

No social justice issues implanted or cursing or sex or drugs... now, I'm not saying it was a better time, just a different one :) A time when dad jokes ruled! Simple times! Ignorance was bliss. But, it kinda wasn't - not really.

It's like having an animal die on your property somewhere, and it starts to stink. You COULD find the truth of the stench... or light candles everywhere. Some really strong candles - maybe some of those Gwyneth Paltrow candles.

Though the stench might get covered up, the problem is still there. At some point, your kids could find the dead rotting animal... maybe start playing with it... you get the point.

In this show, the townspeople's minds have been taken over by someone or something, and it's torturous for them. So... bliss on the surface, but... not so much, going deeper. I tell you all of this, plus great production in each epi, a good slow-burn mystery, and fun with comic characters in a way we haven't seen before on screen, and hell yeah - Grade: A series.

Now... spoilers.

You might want to leave now.

People, Wanda is the villain here. I'm not sure if that's the message the writers are trying to convey or not, but I don't care; she is the clear villain here.

Here’s Wanda reading some Hell book, conjuring some dark spirits - nbd.

We are rooting for her throughout this show; even after we find out that she has been (even if not maliciously) controlling every one, we still root for her.

I'm not saying that's bad, but we can't forget about what she has done! Remember, I said that the mind control was torturous for the townspeople.

There's a very emotional moment at the end of this series between Wanda and Vision, and between them and their kids (yeah, they have kids... that's a whole other thing). This moment is well done and touching. There's even a bad ass fight between Wanda and the "true... villain"? - of this story. I'll get to her in a sec (There’s a badass Vision fight scene as well).

I loved all of that! But, at the end of the day...

I know Wanda is grieving and all, we all grieve, but we all don't, in our grief, take a whole town hostage, torture the people, all while playing house with our family. That's kinda sick, no??

Are we doing a girl-power thing? or a “witches are people too” thing? or “but she’s doing it all for her family” thing (yeah, they’re not actually real, but whatever)? I don’t know.

I'm not sure that we know what a villain is anymore. It used to be clear - the guy with the beard was the bad guy, or the guy wearing the black outfit was the bad guy, or the people who aren't Americans are the bad guys :)

But, movies like "Joker" and "Deadpool" and Harley's joint have confused some.

Who else would be the villain? There's a character, the villain (i guess), a witch named Agatha Harkness, played by Kathryn Hahn

Here she is saying “I’m the villain? Really? What about her?!!”

   - she's excellent btw; def the highlight of this show; her and Paul Bettany's hair game.

But, let's compare:

Agatha: 

betrays her coven back in the day, sure, but why you bringing up old shit? 

She allows Wanda to play out this fantasy for a while, and even played along. She could have just killed her when she was ignorant; that's what I would have done. She eventually shows Wanda the truth (granted, she then wants Wanda's power, but hey, everything has a price. And for all we know, she would have used all of that power to... cure the worlds diseases or something... though prob not:). Annnd maybe she killed an imaginary puppy. Convo for another time: if you kill something that's not real, does it matter??

That's it!

She didn't (like Wanda): abduct a town, torture its people, bring Vision back from the dead (kinda), endanger soldiers who were just doing their jobs, create weird fantasies (And did she have sexy time with previously dead, fake Vision? This thing gets even weirder if she did. But, let's not go down that path.) Oh, and she magically punted a black woman (Rambo) the length of a football field just for her asking Wanda some questions.

When the townspeople finally regain their minds (Lord knows how long it's been), they look at her with disdain, and I don't blame them.  And what does Wanda do?? - shrug, put on a hoodie, and fly off - to break into somebody's home and read some devil book.

Where’s cancel culture in this universe? 

I know she made us feel, but I ask again, who's the villain here?

Still Grade A stuff for me (again, I loved this!), but c'mon, people.

We get a glimpse of Captain Marvel 2 as well. My fingers are crossed. I actually liked the first movie. But, many others did not, and one of the reasons - Captain Marvel doesn't have much of a personality, and another - she's too powerful (no risk).

So, to answer the critics, we have Monica Rambeau - another ridiculously super-powered hero, with no personality. So, two unrelatable characters flying around in space, as Sam L Jackson tries not to curse. But, if Marvel can make me care about evil ass Wanda, I'll still hold out hope for Capt Marvel 2.

[gotmeringinghellsbells]

Morning Preperations

This fic contains an intense amount of swearing, and is about random, fandomless ocs. Enjoy.

"Aye yo, up and Adam your royal pain!" A young guard entered the bed chamber of the prince, unannounced. He yawned and stretched as he shut one of the chamber's door's behind him with his foot.

"Brutus," a higher voice shrieked. Green eyes opened to see the prince glaring at him as he wrapped one of his large curtains around to sheild himself. "I'm in my underwear you pervert," the prince hissed. "Get the hell out!" He reached for his vanity near by and grabbed a hold of a brush.

Brutus merely rolled his eyes. "Come on Daren, your not nude. Samuel forced me to start my shift early so let's go princess! Move that scrawny ass and get ready." The personal guard sat on the unmade bed; running his fingers along the soft, purple, silky sheets. Daren growled before throwing the brush at the other.

"Ow," the larger gasped before glaring at the prince who still refused to leave the curtain. "Once you stand your post outside I will. I have a sutor coming for breakfast. Father and Samuel will have my head if I'm late." Brutus rolled his eyes. "Sorry sweetheart," he seethed sarcastically as he grabbed the brush that assaulted his head.

Daren panicked slightly as the other approached him. He was no physical match for the other. Both were lanky young men but Brutus had a few inches and a swimmers build of muscle on him. "But Samuel gave me my orders." Daren gasped as the curtain was yanked away from him, revealing his image to the other.

Black briefs clung to his curvy lower body as a white, silky, loose undershirt rested on the slight pudge of his tummy. Silk stockings were tied off at the thighs, making for an almost lovely picture of the prince. Brutus looked him over before feeling a small shove. Hardly budging he just looked at the man before him. "Stop staring at me like that! Brutus, I swea-eek!" Brutus gently pulled Daren close, brush raised over his head.

"Sit your pretty ass down and finish getting ready already. I can't leave this chamber without your royal pain in tow, get it?" Daren blushed slightly before trying to push the other off him, to no avil. Despite supposed to be having authority over his father's guard, as he was the prince, but Samuel definitely had authority over him and sometimes even his father out of respect for the old bastard. Nothing he could say to Brutus would get the boy out of his hair.

"Fine you annoying oaf! Let go so I can get dressed!" Brutus rolled his eyes before letting go and setting the brush back on the vanity. As he did, Daren strode by him quickly to his closet and just grabbed the nearest shirt before moving to grab matching pants.

Pulling on the pants quickly, he refused to face the other. His face was still red from embarrassment but the butterflies were simmering down. He may have over reacted some. He dared to glance over to see the other now lying in his unmade bed, feeling the soft materials. He always seemed to rub certain cloths between his fingers, maybe it was a calming technique. Nevertheless, Daren's dark, silky hair always ended up between his fingers too.

"How's your head," the prince finally asked, breaking the silence as he pulled up his black pants. "Little sore. How's your ego," the other sneered. "Also sore," Daren shot back woth fake annoyance. "That so? Need me to kiss it and make it better," Brutus inquired sarcastically. Daren sighed as he pulled on a loose sleeved, white shirt. "No, but I'm sorry for hitting you. Do you need to rest?"

The prince was now standing over the other, holding onto the pole of his bed frame closest to the other loosely. Brutus blushed a bit before shaking his head. "I'm trained to protect the royal brat, a lot more than a pansy throw from his highness is needed to take me down." Daren glared slightly as Brutus smirked at him with a wink. "That so?"

Brutus was laying with his legs crossed, and arms folded under his head. Wearing nothing more than casual clothing, he earned what he had coming. "Yeah, that's so." "Then you wouldn't mind your weak, defenseless, pain of a prince punishing you for wearing your boots in his bed?" Brutus was confussed as the other leaned down to his level, walking his fingers across his toned chest. "What do you mean?"

"Look down darling, your wearing your nasty work boots on my nice sheets. Agatha is going to have to wash them again." Brutus tried to sit up but the prince held his folded arms down and swing himself onto the other's pelvis. His long, black hair hung loosely, like vines coming towards the guards face. "Tsk, tsk," Daren cooed as he gently started to drag his fingers down the bared biceps. "Pff-! D-Daren!" Brutus turned his head into his arm as he tried to stop himself from giggling. Above him, the prince merely smirked.

"Oh Brutus~! Don't tell me a few tickles can bring my brave knight down. My, my, I'd surely be in danger then," Daren fake lamented as he smirked. "Yo-your gon-nna be- cckkkk! Gonna be when- when I get you!" Rolling his eyes, Daren merely giggled. "Oh, how scary. A soft faced, small man with big, loving, green eyes and such soft, feathery chocolate hair is going to rebel against his charge?"

Brutus blushed as Daren gently ruffled his hair with a giggle. It tickled a bit, but the laugh was more for his friend's reaction. "Tell me Brutus, are your underarms ticklish? The royal court needs to know all your weaknesses. We can't have the prince falling into danger, now can we?" Brutus bit his lip as fingers gently moved further down his biceps, under the short sleeves of his shirt. "B-Bhahahitch!" He cracked! Score one for the Lee!

"Bruuutuusss," Daren teased out, giving the poor boy no peace. "Brutus, does this tickle? Does it ticcckllee~!" The guard felt himself slipping as more fingers joined. "I-hahahah! I'll gheheet you fhahaor this!" Daren only smiled softly. "Aw, promising harm to your beloved prince?" "I dhahaon't hahaha a beloved phaharince! Jhahahaust yhahaou!" Daren scoffed before ramping up the torment. "Ass hole." "Fheheheling is mu- ah shit! Ghahaha!" Brutus was breaking down now, showing his ticklish side.

Daren giggled. He quickly started to pick up the pace, squeezing, scratching, and poking random areas he could easily get to while moving to keep Brutus' arms down whenever he saw them move. Brutus should be proud! After all, he's where Daren learned such moves.

Brutus however, wasn't impressed as he wheezed with heavy laughter and shook about. He whined and snorted while he trashed his legs; catching glimpses of the boots he was being "punished" for. He was dying of laughter, trashing about as his prince continued to torment him. He had to figure a way out of this. No way was this little shit going to tickle him then walk off to meet a potential fiancee like nothing ever happened!

Wait.... that's it!

"Yhahahaou nehehed to gehehehet ghahahoing soon!" Daren eased up the tickles, not understanding what the other said. "What," he asked before gasping as hands over powered him and rolled him over. Brutus was now laying on the other, holding the prince's arms down by their wrists and glaring daggers as he panted.

Daren wiggled, testing his movement as he started to blush. Butterflies started to form in his stomach once more and his knees moved slightly together. "W... what did you say," Daren asked sheepishly. Brutus' scowling face became a smirk. "That I ain't letting you leave until I get some revenge." Daren squeaked, face turning darker. "You.... you'll wrinkle my shirt. You can't. I'll tell Samuel it was you," Daren weakly threatened.

"Then, I'll just have to fix that, huh?" What? Daren gasped as he felt cold hand slip into the hem of his pants to unstuck his shirt; the cold feeling spreading as skin made contact with the skin of his stomach. "Brutus! You brute! Unhand me!" Gently, fake hitting the other with his free hand, Daren tried to sound as annoyed as possible but the other ignore it.

Rather, he saw through the facade. Daren was compliant on the shirt removal but quickly squealed as he noticed his undershirt had gone too. Milky, smooth skin was revealed to the earth; a rare sight from the prince. Almost as pale as a vampire, yet skin as soft as a baby. The elements truly never touched the royal pain.

Brutus merely smirked. He knew the other was deathly ticklish. Just a few strokes to his soles, a squeeze or two to his thighs, or a few pokes at his underarms would have him spilling any information asked for if the prince was ever captured. Moving the shy arms away from the torso and pinning them overhead with ease, Brutus smiled softly. "I just laughed like a dork infront of you and your embarrassed about me seeing your body? At least you don't sound like a damn horse when you laugh." Daren blushed more as he wiggled awkwardly. "You don't though. You sound.... kinda cute when you laugh. A little dorky too. It's nice to hear when it's not directed at... making fun of me."

Brutus felt his face heat up a bit before he quickly shook his head. "Ah, nope. No sweet talking your way out of this your highness. Your being sentenced to tickle punishment and that's that." Daren growled a bit. "Bastard, I wasn't trying to get out of anything! Don't just brush me aside like that!" He paused when he realized Brutus was blushing and cracked a smile. "Oh, your faking it," he said softly. Brutus only blushed more before gently poking under the royal's arm; earning a squeal.

"Nope, I will not be tricked by such a fair prince." Daren giggled before squealing as the poked turned to gentle scratches. "Not there," he cried as he devolved into hysterical laughter. "Not the armpit! Not the armpit! Ahahaha! Brutus!" Daren was shrieking soon as fingers moved behind him to his thighs. He was weakened enough for Brutus to let go of his arms. "Not the armpits? Okay."

The prince screamed in hysterically laughter, flopping around like a fish out of water. "A-Ahhahaha! Noooo! Brutus! Release me at once! B-Brutus!" It tickled something awful. The prince was red from laughter and flustered from being teased and touched so delicately. From the fact this oaf was his best friend and was just hitting all his worst spots to make him laugh. It was sweet.

The prince gripped at the silk pillow covers as he whined and laughed adorably, wiggling in the other's hold and trying to bite his lip to resist the sensation. Not wanting his friend to be set before the kings of two kingdoms and a possible match with a swollen lip along with being covered in tears and sweat, Brutus ended his torment.

Daren released his lip and the pillow cover as he panted softly. "Oh.... oh man," Daren sighed out rather un-regally. "B-Brutus..... that..... ahh," he sighed out softly. The other laughed before vibrating his hand on the other's tummy. Daren squealed before curling up to protect himself. "Brutus, stop it," he giggled. The other did so before laughing himself.

Cute.

He sighed before redressing the tired body's torso. As he tucked the blouse into the pants, he felt a gentle touch on his hand. Watery red eyes stared at the other woth a soft smile. The other returned the favor before gently climbing off his highness. Helping Daren sit up, he took the brush and quickly started to brush out the tangles the onslaught caused and tied it loosely before looking at the door.

"You need to get going," Brutus sighed. Daren sighed. "He's been trying to find a suitable match for me for three years now, I doubt this breakfast will be any different." He gently tapped the other's cheek. "Escort me down, would you?" Brutus smiled a bit before gently intertwining fingers with the prince. "As you wish." Daren merely rolled his eyes before they headed out the door.

[madamebaggio]

FATE CAN SUCK IT - Kingsman Fanfiction

Summary: Agatha didn't have an easy life: ran away from home at 15, became a prostitute, met her soulmate at 17...

Harry Hart was everything she had dreamed as little girl, but life destroyed that little girl. She had no use for him and she knew he would never want her, so she left.

10 years later she works for an agency that loves trouble and Harry is back.

Fate is such a pain in the ass.

***

Notes: This work is unfinished, but can be found here. Also, this is a Kingsman soulmate AU with a whole cast of OC.

I hope you enjoy the first chapter.

***

Chapter 1

Nikki was not a complaining person. Well, teenager, to be more honest. She’d had her rebel phase, thinking that she was smarter than everyone else around her and that her parents were stupid tyrants.

Running away with her good-for-nothing boyfriend of the time seemed like a great idea. She had been a very stupid 15-year-old.

Nikki was now 17 and the street had made her cold and cynical. Most days, she felt like she was 90. That’s what being a teenager prostitute did to you. She should not have been surprised.

Good-for-nothing boyfriend left her alone in the middle of London with no money, a fondness for LSD and too scared – and ashamed – to call her parents.

Nikki had always been too pretty and looked older than she actually was. The street was cruel to stupid young girls and turning tricks had been the only answer for her, even if it ate at her faster than the drugs. She was way too skinny now, but at least she was alive and had a roof over her head.

She had been lucky, honestly. Some of the girls had felt sorry for the lost 15-year-old and took her in. She had cried on her first night, until Foxy – one of the older girls – slapped her and told her to grow up and deal with it.

Six months after that, Nikki didn’t give a shit anymore. She felt dead inside and was just waiting for her body to catch up on that.

She wished now that she could look into the eyes of her 15-year-old self and tell her she was a stupid little bitch. She wished for a lot of things.

Right now, she wished she had a jacket.

The asshole of the night had put her in a car and drove her to some fancy neighborhood, then stopped in front of a house and demanded a blow job. Apparently it was his ex-wife’s house. Everybody had weird kinks and ideas; she could not care less about his.

What she did care a lot about was the fact that the bloody bastard refused to pay her for it, then slapped her – hard – in the face, before throwing her out of the car. So now she was in the middle of a posh neighborhood with no idea how to get back home.

It was after one, so there was no living soul on the street and even if there was, she could hardly see one of those blokes wanting to help a hooker. She would be lucky if she didn’t get into even more trouble.

Nikki hugged herself, hoping for a bit more of warmth. She had split lip, her shoulder hurt from where the arsehole had pushed her against the door, before he managed to open it and throw her out of the car. That lovely action left her with skinned hands and knees. The worst part was that she ripped her damn stockings, and they were bloody new!

She sighed and saw her breath in the air. Well, great. Just fucking peachy. She would freeze to death out here. Although… If she thought about the headlines of the next day (“Young hooker found frozen in a respectable neighborhood!”) she could even smile a bit.

She had to get fun from the very few places where she could.

She turned into another street – they all looked the same – and saw a man walking in her direction. He was wearing an honest-to-God suit at this time of night and carrying an umbrella on his arm. He looked like a fucking lord coming down the street.

When he saw her, he stopped for a second to access her – there was no other word for it – before coming in her direction.

“Are you alright, miss?” He asked, a small frown on his too pretty face.

He was older, she could see it now. His hair was perfectly styled, his glasses probably were of some fancy brand and his accent was as posh as it got. But he called her “miss” and Nikki had to laugh at that.

“Miss, darling?” She huffed in a laugh. “Need stronger glasses?”

He arched a brow. “Are you lost?” He insisted.

“That obvious, huh?” She scoffed. “Just need some directions.”

“You’re hurt.”

“Very observant of you.” She rolled her eyes. “Look, darling, either you point me to a direction or…” She looked him up and down. “Ask me the price.”

His lips thinned in obvious reprove. Then it was like he had thought of something. “Alright. What is your price?” He asked politely, like he was asking her what time it was.

Well, she was not expecting that. At all. But she did not trust this guy for a second. He was way too good looking and proper to want a hooker like her. If he wanted one, he could get way better, but she could play the game.

“Depends on what you want, sugar.” She put her hand on her hip and cocked it.

“I want you to come home with me so I can take a look at your bruises, then ask a taxi to take you home.” He said with a simplicity that left Nikki feeling actually shocked.

“You wanna play doctor?” She asked flatly.

This time he rolled his eyes. “Yes.” It was amazing how much sarcasm a person could inflict on one single word. “So?”

“Why not?” She shrugged. What was the worst he could do to her? Kill her?

She walked a bit behind him, but they didn’t have a long way to go before he walked into a street that had a very charming house. It figured.

He opened the door and made a gesture for her to walk in first. She chuckled again at that, being treated as a lady by one of those guys.

He told her to sit on the couch and went to get something. Nikki started regretting a bit not having a knife hidden in her boots like some of the girls did. Maybe she had been a bit too harsh.

She was considering getting up and leaving when the man came back, carrying a small first aid kit.

“Let me see this lip.” He said, sitting by her.

“You can’t possibly be serious.” She was looking at him, waiting for the other shoe to drop, because there was no way this man was this nice for absolutely no reason. “I’m not letting you fuck me for free, just cuz you’re being nice.” She warned him deadly serious.

The man looked at her like she had just said the stupidest thing ever. He had this curious look about him, a cross between outrage –at what she said -and disappointment –that she really thought that.

“This is not why I helped you.” He said firmly.

“Why was that again, sugar?”

“I do have a name.” He told her with exaggerated patience.

“OK. Do you want me to ask you what it is?” She made a face of such extreme innocence, that she knew he would see right through it. “I can even pretend to care about the answer.”

The man sighed – once more – and fixed his eyes on her. “Why so hard on the world?” He asked gently. “Why such tall walls?”

“Why the fuck do you care?” She snapped. “I’m a junkie and a whore, you don’t even know me. Why do you care?” She demanded of him. Yes, she was pushing, because she wasn’t exactly a junkie, but she wanted to make him cringe.

She was so pissed at him! Angry that he dared to make her care, that he scared and pressured her. Mad that he made her feel anything at all.

“Because we already live too harsh lives to be unkind to other people for no reason.” He replied honestly, his eyes looking at her like he could actually see her, the real her, not just this empty shell. “Because someone – anyone – ought to care about another human life.”

Oh Lord, this man couldn’t possibly be serious. How could anyone believe in something so cliché and naïve? How could a man at his age – she was guessing late 30’s to early 40’s – even think that the world was anything but a terrible place?

“You’re delusional.” She informed him, her voice shaking a bit.

“Maybe a little bit.” He had this grin on his face. “I’m also Harry Hart. Nice to meet you.”

He offered her his hand, but Nikki was not seeing it. The name kept playing over and over in her head.

“Harry Galahad Hart?” She asked, her voice now really trembling.

His face became shocked, then suspicious in a second. His eyes fell to her chest, not to ogle, but she knew what he was looking for.

Nikki had been born with the name “Harry Galahad Hart” on her chest, right over her heart, in the curve of her breast, the name of her soulmate, the one person in the world that was meant for her. She spent years trying to figure out who that person was, imagining thousand ways in which they could meet.

Then good-for-nothing- boyfriend came along and reminded her that Harry had her name too and was probably older – since she was already born with his name – and he had not come looking for her. Harry might not want her.

Maybe, if she hadn’t been in such a bad place back then, she wouldn't have listened to him so easily, but she was desperate to leave, so she pretended she didn’t care about Harry Hart anymore.

Nowadays, she just knew she had nothing to offer and with her luck Harry would either be a drug dealer or a pimp.

She never thought, in a million years, that she would really meet him, or that he would be so… This.

Harry was frowning now, because there was nothing on her chest. Clients didn’t appreciate seeing soulmates names on their hookers – maybe it reminded them that they were likely cheating – so most girls covered theirs.

Nikki licked her index finger and passed over her chest, revealing some of the letters, enough to read “Galah”.

“So…” He cleared his throat. “You are Aga…”

“I go by Nikki, it’s more whorish.” She had no illusions that this man would want her, so she might as well destroy this now.

“God, you’re 17!” He seemed beyond shocked now. He took a deep breath and let it out slowly, then his eyes started going from one direction to another, never looking at her.

“I’m also not interested.” She declared getting up; she had to leave this place. This was all she could never have, not now, not ever. Harry might even be a decent man, but he would never be able to handle this.

Even if he thought he was, one day they would fight and what would he say to her? She could hear him calling her a whore already.

“Look.” He got up too, “It’s not that you…”

“Spare me.” She threw her hair back, the picture of nonchalant. “Let’s not make this harder than it has to be.”

“Nikki, my life is complicated…” He tried again, but she had enough.

“I don’t care.” She told him with finality. “Because I know where this is heading and I lived 17 years of my life without you in it. I can sure as fuck live the rest of it.”

She walked to the door. “Let me call you a cab.” He asked politely, but also nervous.

“I can walk, darling.” She called over her shoulder before stepping once again into the cold night.

She started walking fast, but Nikki only realized she was crying when the first drop hit her arm. Yes, it still hurt, even knowing she could not have it. It would get better, then again, it was not like it could get any worse.

[paradoxicalpatton]

Fanders Secret Santa!

@starswingsandthings @secretsanders

Hello there! I’m Patton, your Secret Santa! I read through your wishlist, and unfortunately I’m a terrible artist. I am however, a pretty decent fic writer! So I thought I’d write a cute Prinxiety fic as your present! I didn’t really have anything to go off, so I googled some Christmas prompts and found one that I thought was perfect. I hope you like your present, Happy Holidays!

Prompt: To impress them, they learn all of the words to their favorite Christmas carol. And they doesn’t even like carols. Or Christmas. Or singing.

Pairing: Prinxiety

Au: Human! Au - Virgil is waiting at home for his housemate Roman, who goes to visit his parents for Christmas. However this Christmas, Virgil realises his true feelings for his best friend.

Word Count: +1.5k

You can click here to listen to the song Virgil sings!

The sound of the crackling wood from the fireplace filled the apartment, the warm light touching every object in the small living room, shadows resembling Christmas stockings covered the walls. Sitting on the sofa was Virgil, his favourite constellation quilt that Roman had made over his lap. On the small side table he’d moved next to him was a cup of camomile tea, his phone, and Roman's gingerbread candle. In his hands was ‘The Murder of Roger Ackroyd’ by Agatha Christie, a book his brother Logan had recommended to him. Looking up at the wall, Virgil noticed that the clock read 9:00. “Roman should’ve finished dinner by now.” he thought to himself. Placing the bookmark in his book, Virgil closed what he’d been reading, and replaced the book in his hands with his phone, sending Roman a message.

Emo Nightmare: sup ro, how's dinner with the fam?

Prince of your dreams: Why hello my dark and stormy night! I believe to be having a wonderful time, but I wish you were here with me.

Emo Nightmare: so do i, i could video call if you want? maybe i could give you your christmas present bc you won't be here on the day

Prince of your dreams: Oh Virgil that sounds splendid! Let me grab my laptop!!

Emo Nightmare: cool, ill grab mine too i guess

Virgil put his phone down gently on the book, and bent over to pick up his laptop off the floor next to him. He quickly opened it and put his password in before opening the video chat app. Roman's account switched to 'online’ and Virgil hit the call button, Roman answering quickly.

“Virgil! How is my chemically imbalanced romance?” Roman waved excitedly, his hair bouncing lightly. Virgil laughed quietly, a small smile tugging at his lips.

“Hey princey, I'm good. Pretty alone though.” Virgil looked up at the screen, lifting the hood of his jumper over his head. He let himself smile at the sound of Roman's laugh.

“I'll be home in a week Virge, did you open the present I left for you?” Roman adjusted himself so he was lying down on his stomach, reaching out of frame to grab his hot chocolate.

“Yeah, I did. Thanks Ro, it means a lot.” Virgil grabbed his own mug, taking another sip of his tea, Roman clapping excitedly in the background.

He'd had trouble figuring out a good present for Virgil, they may have known each other door a few years now but his purple haired friend was still a mystery. Eventually Roman bought him a new quilt set, most of it purple with black cats on it, the perfect thing to match the rest of his room. Virgil, on the other hand, had an even harder time than Roman. What could he have possibly gotten him that his creative friend didn't already have? After months (yes, months. Virgil spent months thinking of something) of planning, Virgil finally thought of it.

“Actually, I have something for you as well. It isn't the best gift ever, but I put a lot of effort into it.” Virgil rubbed the back of his neck, looking down at his lap sheepishly.

“I'm sure I'll love it no matter what! After all, a gift is a gift.” Virgil glanced up and smiled, Roman's deep emerald coloured eyes reassuring him. He slipped in some earphones and pressed play on a song in his phone.

“The fire is burning, the room's all aglow. Outside the December wind blows.”

He remembered when they first met, at Logan's Christmas party. The fireplace was lit, a warm light covering the room.

“Away in the distance, the carollers sing in the snow.”

The next Christmas they went out as a group to go ice skating. A group of people walked by singing carols, Roman joining in from afar.

“Everybody's laughing, the world is celebrating, and everyone's so happy, except for me tonight.”

They'd spent every Christmas together since they met. But this year Roman went to visit his family, leaving Virgil alone. On Christmas.

“Because I miss you, most at Christmas time. And I can't get you, get you off my mind.”

Virgil spent everyday of December leading up to Christmas wondering why he couldn't stop thinking off the royal pain in his ass that he called his housemate.

“Every other season comes along and I'm alright. But then I miss you, most at Christmas time.”

He asked Logan what it could be, but to no avail. His logical friend smiling sweetly as he told Virgil to ask Patton instead.

“I gaze out the window, this cold winter's night. At all of the twinkling lights.”

Soon enough Virgil asked Patton about his situation, his usually emotional friend smiling sadly. He knew exactly what it was, and he knew Virgil wouldn't like it.

“Alone in the darkness, remembering when you were mine.”

No. Virgil refused to believe it. This was just Patton playing a trick on him. He could never. Not in a million years.

“Everybody's smiling, the whole world is rejoicing. And everyone's embracing, except for you and I baby.”

Maybe he did. Virgil spent countless nights awake, pacing his room. Thinking about Roman's green eyes, his light honey coloured hair, the freckles that came in pairs, and his heavenly smile. Maybe Virgil did lov- um, maybe Virgil did like Roman.

“I miss you, most at Christmas time. And I can't get you, no no no no, get you off my mind.”

Virgil felt awful. He'd spent so long thinking about his own problems that he'd forgotten to get Roman something for Christmas. He stayed up all night that night, eventually deciding that he should listen to his heart. His heart named Patton. Who was yelling at him the next morning for staying up.

“Every other season comes along and I'm alright. But then I miss you, most at Christmas time.”

Virgil agreed with both Logan and Patton, and started searching for a song that would convey exactly how he felt about Roman. But even Virgil didn't know how he truly felt.

“In the springtime, those memories start to fade with the April rain. Through the summer days, till autumn's leave are gone.”

Roman only ever left Virgil around December. But he would always be home on Christmas day. Virgil could handle it any other time of the year. So why was it so bad now?

“I get by without you, till the snow begins to fall and then I miss you, most at Christmas time. And I can't get you, no no no no, get you off my mind.”

Virgil was in love with Roman. He was madly, deeply in love with his annoying, ignorant, somewhat handsome best friend. And he hated everything about it. The feeling of course, not the guy he fell for.

“Every other season comes along and I'm alright.”

Virgil loved Roman.

“But then I miss you, most at Christmas time.”

Virgil took out his earphones and looked up at the screen to a sight he thought he'd never see. Roman had moved and was sitting up again, he had tears running down his cheeks, his hands covering his mouth. Virgil was convinced he'd done something wrong. He probably had. He knew singing to him was a bad idea. As he went to apologise, Roman cut in, silencing the younger man.

“Virgil… I don't know where to begin,” Roman wiped his tears away and smiled at the camera. “That was beautiful. How have I never heard you sing? Although that isn't what's important, why did you sing that song?”

Virgil looked away and figited with the blanket in his lap, afraid to answer.

“Virgil? You can tell me, I won't judge you.” Virgil took a deep breath and closed his eyes tight.

“Because I love you Roman!” He let out a sigh and laughed, brushing a hand through his hair, thinking to himself ‘Well that wasn't that bad’. But when Roman didn't answer him he began to worry again. Virgil slowly looked up at a completely black screen.

His laptop went flat. His laptop, went flat.

Virgil slammed it shut, blew out the candle next to him, put out the fire in the fireplace and turned his phone off before running to his room and locking the door. He can't believe that actually happened. Although he's lucky he did, Roman would never feel the same.

A week passed and Virgil hadn't moved from his bed. He hadn't eaten or showered, and only left to use the bathroom. He'd been thinking about packing some of his things and leaving. Maybe he could find a small apartment in Antarctica, far, far, away from Roman. Unfortunately his plans were cut short with a loud banging on his door.

“Virgil! Virgil! Are you in there?” Patton, he hadn't heard Patton's voice in weeks.

“Virgil? If you're in there please let us know you're ok.” Logan, he sound panicked? Why?

Before he could answer his own question he heard the lock on the door rattling, the sound of a butter knife hitting it? That could only be one person.

“Virgil? Oh god Virgil, you're alright!” Roman opened the door and dropped the knife, rushing over toward him, pulling Virgil into a tight embrace.

Patton and Logan quietly closed the door to give Roman and Virgil some privacy. They obviously had a lot to talk about. Virgil explained to Roman that his laptop died and that if he heard anything he didn't really mean it. Which lead to Roman confessing his own romantic feelings to his edgy crush. The two sat there on Virgil's bed, laughing over the misunderstanding. Slowly the held hands and left the room, going out to find Logan and Patton.

“Hey Padre? Do you and Logan wanna come on a double date with myself and my emo prince?”

[oliveofthenight]

A Chance Encounter

Hōseki didn’t understand how this kept happening to them.

All they ever wanted was to just do their job, and be left in peace. Yet people always had other ideas. They thought it would stop at the strange girl who materialized injured on the balcony of their apartment. While the girl hadn’t been entirely unpleasant company, it was annoying to have their quiet disturbed nonetheless.

And here it was, being disturbed once again.

They were walking home on the street after the owner of the bar let them retire from their bouncer duties for the night. Night, more like early morning, they could already see the sky starting to lighten up. Their shoulders were hunched, hands stuffed into their pockets, and wore their usual cold expression.

Despite how unapproachable they looked, someone grabbed onto their shoulder anyways. Hōseki turned at the sudden touch, about to snarl at whoever thought it was smart to do so, but held back at the sight of the stranger.

It was a woman, with pale hair and eyes framed by crow’s feet. Her face was taught with fear and pleading, and they realized the grip she had on them was tight enough to pale her already white knuckles. “Pretend you know me. Please, people been following me for the past few streets and I can’t get rid of them.” Her voice was barely above a whisper despite the almost empty street.

They paused as they mulled it over. Why should they care? It was too early for this bullshit, and if this strange woman didn’t want to get caught, then she should have planned things out better than going off alone at a time like this. But, they saw hooded figures coming down the street towards the two of them, and with how terrified she looked to be caught...

“Fine. I don’t have the damn patience to get caught up in legal trouble if I’m witness to some crime,” they huffed. Wrapping an arm around her shoulder, they continued to walk down the street. They did their best to look more open to the woman, nodding at she thanked them for their help. “Yeah, yeah, so where am I taking you exactly?” They asked, side eyeing the figures who seemed to back off a bit seeing their presence, but were still following behind both of them.

She was doing her best to avoid looking at the people behind her at all. “The nearest bus station, please. Get me there and I promise I’ll be out of your hair,” she told them.

They nodded again in response, turning them down a different street. It had been a while since they used the bus, but there should be a stop near sixth street...

Glancing back again, the pursuers were getting closer. Too close. The second one of them reached out to grab the woman by the arm, Hōseki gripped their wrist. “Hands off.” They growled firmly, glaring at the hood.

Apparently it was a man, and he glared back. “Frankly, you don’t know what you’re dealing with. So, I think the one who needs their hands off here, is you,” came his snide remark.

Hōseki almost groaned at the man’s insistence, this was so annoying. “She’s made it clear to me that she doesn’t want to be around you, so get lost. I’m only going to say it once.” They warned the group that was closing in now.

One reached out to punch them across the face. People never learn, it seemed.

Their head moved some, but not much. They glowered down at the one who hit them, and the person seemed to shrink back when they realized their mistake. It was a stand off, the group staring Hōseki down as they frowned at each of them in return. The man who seemed to be the leader, reached out for the woman again. And again, Hōseki grabbed their wrist, twisting it in a way that made a sickening crunch as he cursed in pain. They blocked a second punch to the face, slamming the assailant into his other buddy who was trying to aim a kick to their side. Watching as they both stumbled and fell onto the ground, they barely saw the glint of a knife.

The one with the knife thought they had them as they went to plunge the knife into their chest, only to pause in confusion when something seemed to form underneath the shirt and the knife made a screeching noise on contact. It didn’t go into Hōseki, merely tearing their shirt to expose the diamond that blocked the knife’s attack.

They rolled their eyes and with a swift kick between the legs, sent the knife clattering to the ground with it’s holder along with it. Then, twisting the wrist of the leader more, turned their gaze back to him. “I’m really not in the mood for this. So, you and your little groupies over there are going to pick your asses up, and piss off. It’s either that, or you lose your hand.” They threatened with an almost bored tone.

He nodded quickly. “Alright, alright, would you let go already?” He yelped, trying to yank his hand free himself. When they let go, he was already halfway down the street, his group not far behind him.

They watched until they disappeared completely, and gave a sigh and a stretch as the diamond on their chest sank back, turning into skin once more. The woman watched with wide eyes. “That was amazing. Thank you...” She looked up at them gratefully.

They merely shrugged. “Don’t mention it. Let’s just get you to that bus already, I’m tired.” They grumbled as they started walking again, making sure the woman stayed by their side.

She kept up, making small conversation as she did so. It was fairly short, as the bus stop wasn’t very far, but Hōseki found it oddly pleasant talking with her. They found out her name was Agatha, and she had been just trying to get some groceries before those ‘ruffians’, as she called them, started harassing her and following her. She looked more disgruntled than terrified now, and Hōseki couldn’t help but feel amused by the sudden change.

They introduced themselves as well, told her about their power. Diamond forming over one’s body at will was a useful power to have.

Agatha chuckled. “My, how lucky I was to have found you then. It seems very strong, you must be proud of it.”

“It’s got it’s perks, so I use it accordingly.” Though the response was short, their tone was a touch warmer than their usual flatness when talking with strangers.

The pair continued to talk until the glaring lights of the bus made it’s way towards them. Hōseki glanced down at her. “You sure you’re going to be okay? Those guys were scared of me, but if they see you without me they’re not going to be so deterred,” they pointed out.

Agatha shook her head with a light smile. “I’ll be just fine. You’ve done more than enough for me already.” She picked up her bags as the bus opened it’s doors and she looked at Hōseki once more. “Thank you for everything, you’ve been so kind. I’m not sure if we will, but I hope we do meet again.”

They nodded towards her, giving her a wave as she climbed up the steps and the door closed behind her. Hōseki started back towards their apartment. Their shoulders were hunched again, hands stuffed back into their pockets. But their lips weren’t turned down in their usual frown.

Maybe some disturbances weren’t so bad after all, and despite it all, they found themselves hoping they might meet that woman again too.