#maybe that's not a good thing but I'm tired of trying to be a somebody to people
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analogue-dreamer · 12 days ago
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Heading out for a late night drive to clear my head,, blast some music, sing/scream/shout my heart out to the lyrics and just enjoy the cool air on my face…Have a good Friday night all ��️🏼🤓
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7-oh-ta1 · 8 months ago
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Y'all I won't lie I be sad asl all the time
#lindsay speaks#// vent#this is the only way i know how to talk about my feelings to get them out of my chest so kindly ignore#i have a bad complicated relationship with my mom. i had an issue that's really be bothering me and can't talk to anyone about#because everyone just thinks I'm weird and brushes me off. so despite knowing better i try to talk to my mom about.#she brushes me off and acts like I'm weird and is like well I'm tired lol goodnight#like I'm sobbing on the phone to you and your my mom....... even if you don't feel like it's a big deal#it's something that's really bothering me. and i feel like you genuinely can't be arsed to say anything but stock#''that's just life'' quotes. like i know that that's why I'm in distres#and the stupid thing is she does this everytime i or my siblings are distressed but fuck i just really needed to talk to somebody#about how I'm feeling and just like every weak person i turned to my mom#i just wish i never said anything.#i know she's going to tell everyone i just i hate all of this and i hate i can't trust anybody to just let me be upset#sorry i didn't want to talk about fucking oatmeal and actually have issues i really need someone maybe MY MOM to just pat my back#being alive sucks so much how tf am i supposed to stay alive for the good things when i have nothing good of my own#i have nothing#not even parents and those come free with your fucking existence#btw I'm fucking stupid because she tells my aunt who thinks I'm a burden by being born every fucking thing because everytime i open up to#her i ''stress her out and she deserves to vent too''#i hate this existence
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leoascendente · 8 months ago
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PAC/ Your destined person 💘
Hi loves and welcome to this new PAC! I'll be taking a time from this blog to focus on another projects, it doesn't mean that this blog will be unactive, it is just that I won't post that much pacs or astrology, I'll be more focused in my Spanish blog for a while. Anyway, private readings will still be open and from time to time I'll post something over here because Tumblr is and always will be my safe place.
Take a deep breath before choosig your pile and pick the picture you feel called the most, because this is a general reading it doesn't have to fully resonate, keep what does and leave what doesn't for somebody else, you can always choose another pile :)
For private readings click here
My blog in Spanish here
Decks: Romantic tarot, dark wood tarot, tea leafs oracle, romance angels oracle, love oracle cards
All pics are from pinterest, credits to their owners
Pile 1/ Pile 2
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Pile 3/ Pile 4
Pile 1:
Who is your destined person?:
(Cards: 6 of swords, 3 of pentacles, 6 of pentacles, moon, hermit, queen of wands, king of swords/ hermit rev, death, wheel of fortune, 5 of pentacles, sun)
This person probably comes from a very different backgroud than you, it will seem like you don't have much in common at first, they have probably moved from the place they were born and are getting used to the new place. They are a hard worker, right now they are putting a lot of effort in this area of their life, probably to help financially their beloved ones, I'm hearing to help their parents, they are so focused in making money that they are not nurturing other aspects of their life like socializing, the good thing is that they don't seem to care about it. They got the hermit with two different decks, once upright and another time on reversed, it gives me the feeling that they feel very comfortable in their solitude but at the same time they are craving significative connections and a reason to get out of their isolation, for some reason they feel very exhausted but they can't sleep at night, they are like an owl, by night they seem to be more active even though they should be super tired because their work is exhausting (I'm writting this at 13:31 on my clock, maybe it's a relevant number for you or this connection). This person has some emotional issues that keeps them up at night, it's like they need these few extra hours of the day that they are taking from their resting time to relax when the rest of the world is quiet, maybe it's because they are far from home or because they miss their family, because this is related to their emotional world but for what I see here they are thinking too much about others and not about themselves and their mental peace. Anyway, this person is really attractive, for what I see in the cards, they have some not-so-secret admirers that are chasing them or looking desperately for their attention, whatever they are trying is not working with your person, your person seems to be an introvert or at least, they need to feel emotionally connected to something or someone to invest their energy fully on it, I could even say that they are a little shy when it comes to interact with other people. this person has an strong masculine energy, also I keep hearing the word resilient so this may be the most noticable trait about them, the thing here with the admirers is that they are chasing your person, like taking the masculine role but only for their outside appearance, your person seems to need something more to connect with someone and they prefer to court that to be courted. Right now they are closing chapters, there's a massive divine intervention in their life even if they are not aware of this, this is happening for their highest good because they need to get out of this hermit mode and start experiencing good things. They seem to be a little apathic and their lack of rest could be affecting their health too, even if they want it or not, a change is coming to align them, there will be a shift in their luck very soon, especially to help them financially because they seem to be struggling in this aspect. your person is really calmed and peaceful, very goal oriented and commited to what's important to them, you'll love the kind of person they are and the peace they'll bring to your life.
Your connection:
(Cards: deception, new love, this could be the one, playfulness/ girl with a snake, heartbroken, the phoenix, heart with a key, wedding rings)
Okay, your person had a very tough relationship with a toxic person that played with their heart and left them in the dust, this might be one of the reasons why they are avoiding so much human contact, especially with romantic interests, their heart is still recovering from this heartbreak. When you appear in their life, everything will trasform, it will be so magical and unexpected that they won't know what to do, you'll catch them off guard, everything will feel different with you, it's like they've been in a grey and clouded place and you appear to make the sun shine again in their life. This past relationship marked them but knowing you will make them realize that not everyone is the same, you will make them gain hope in love again, it will happen naturally and your relationship will be blossoming peacefully but with certainty, from the first moments they'll know that you are meant for them and will work to make you know it. This is a soulmate connection so you'll feel very comfortable with eachother like you know the other from a very long time, I see a lot of funny dates together, like an exhibition of some kind (I'm translating directly from google but I mean those places wih a ferris wheel, bumper cars, cotton candy and those places where you get a teddy bear if you drop all the bottle from the shelf, something that sort, please comment me the correct name of this lol). An important thing I see here is that your person might be shy at first and will try to make things the right way, not forcing anything, but what I like the most is that even though they have their heart wounded, they won't pay this pain with you, in fact, you'll be a reason to stop thinking about the past pain and focusing on the precious future you could share together, you'll ignite them faith in life, they'll find motivation again, they might even realize that they weren't as comfortable in their solitude as they wanted to project. I see a fast commitment, I also see that they will leave you the key of their home so you can stay there even when they are working, they'll try to make you part of their day to day life and will be very honest with your from the start, you can ask them anything and they will respond with all the truth, even if the truth doesn't leave them in good place, they want you to know every detail about them, you can also trust in them to share whatever you want, they will be super understanding and compassionate.
Signals:
(Tea leafs: sunrise, woman, feather, bull, desk, scissors, caterpillar)
By the moment you are about to meet your person, you'll be finding out the true intentions of a woman in your life, I don't know why but the energy of this woman gives me really bad vibe, like a two faced person, is someone that you should put distance with in order to protect your energy because in terms of love she could often have bad experiences and she will not be happy for you when you find your soulmate. There also this message of not sharing your ideas about the future, not just in love but about your goals or plans in work too, if you are thinking about initiate something by your own just keep it private for a while, or at least just share it with your closest ones because this woman or femenine energy around you don't what you to thrive. The good thing is that you got the card of the sunrise, so you'll be having a lot of new ideas that will lead you to find success, I'd suggest you to write down those ideas,take time to organize them and start implementing them in aries season, at the beggining of the spring, energies will be at your favor. For your person they'll be working really hard, there might be a chance for a rise or getting a higher position in their work field and they'll be focused into that, for others of you there might also be the chance that your person will be getting another job with a better salary, I'm getting especially this second option because your person seems to be very unhappy in their current job and they need better conditions, it also seems like there is some opposition from someone in their work and your person has to keep themselves in a defensive position to deal with it and they don't want this no more, they know they deserve a healthier work enviroment, maybe there's an abusive boss here. There's the possibility that you are really close to meet eachother because of the cards on tarot and this message so be aware of your surroundings because your person is closer than you imagine :)
Channeled messages: a puppy, sexy but don't know it, romantic dates, strong arms, meet them in a public place like a park, a market or a place with art or literature involved like museums or book stores, gift giving, a soft pink or white dress, night dates, overthinking, financial struggle, 999, 1333, virgo, scorpio, cancer and leo, might be seasons for you two meet or your person's sign.
Pile 2:
Who is your destined person?
(Cards: 9 of wands, 4 of swords, 7 of pentacles, 10 of pentacles, justice, death, world/ devil, justice, queen of pentacles, judgement, king of wands)
Okay, lets start saying that you know this person but never had anything romantic with them besides a crush for some of you, they are someone that is familiar to you, maybe you have talked at some point or is simplier than that and you follow them on social media or something that sort, you know eachother but there's almost any interaction between you two. I usually say on private readings when I see that the consultant know their person that Universe has a wicked sense of humor and sometimes, this person can be so random as your crush on primary school, someone you talked once in a party, a friend of a friend and those kind of things, so don't be dissapointed when you see that you know your person because many times, even though you know them, they can be the most random person you could ever imagine. Right now your person is going through some legal issues, it can be a divorce for some of you but for others it might be more related to an spiritual awakening where they are taking resposibility over things they have done in the past, like paying some karma and realizing why they are paying it. The good thing is that your person is closing a chapter, this awakening can be hard, because of the devil card, but it also will bring them a big relief and a change in their reality for the best, there's also a change in their way to face life. For what I see in the cards, your person is wealthy or well positioned in life, probably has a high position in their work field, for some they can work in something related to laws but is an enviroment with a lot of competition and stabs in the back, you have to be a little ruthless to thrive in that area, there's also a chance that they already have a child or kids near them, if you have children, your person will get along very well with your kid too. Your person has an strong temper, the good part of it is that they are very protective of what they love and don't mind getting into trouble if that means keeping their beloved ones safe. The not so good part is that they can be too impulsive and irrational when angry, their passionate spirit can take the best from them sometimes, they will be your total opposite so if you have a natural calmed and peaceful temper this pile is for you. Your person is someone brave, a natural extrovert with a lot of charisma, they can draw all the attention of a room to them just with an smile, they are also very sexy, physically they are extremely attractive, they could also be a Libra or Sagittarius sun sign. Your person hasn't been an angel in their past, even though they are a nice person with a good heart, it seems like they did ot take the best decitions in their past and now they are regreting some mistakes. They are really handsome and charming, I see they haven't faced rejection in their past and that has led them to be too confident, they are the kind of person who always gets what they want, do you know Dexter from the show One Day? your person reminds me of him in the good and the bad traits. Anyway, they recently had an experience that made them realize the path they were taking and they want a diferent direction, they don't feel fulfilled and knows that can get something better for themselves, they are also facing the consequences of their actions si they might need some extra time to get into your life.
Your connection:
(Cards: this could be the one, trust, children, worth waiting for/ talking, golden mirror, sword and rose, self indulgence, love call)
You'll share a very special bond, I see trust issues from both of you but at the moment you start something together those issues will fade, it's like your souls will recognize that you both are meant for eachother, feelings will bloom naturally. I see different scenarios for your pile so take what resonates with you, for the people who already know who this person is, the cards invite you to keep hopeful but patient, just trust the Universe and focus on your bussiness meanwhile your person puts their life in order and solve the issues they are currently dealing with, you deserve to enjoy their best version. For others of you who can't figure out yet who your person is, the cards have a similar meaning, to stay optimistic visualizing your ideal relationship, you'll have to wait a little more than the other piles because your person is dealing with issues they need to resolve before meeting you, again, you deserve to enjoy their best version, your vibration is very high so having your person right now in your life with their current circumstances could affect negatively your energy, so this wait is a divine protection for you. Things will start by flirting between both of you, maybe some casual dates at first but for what see in the cards, there's a lot of communication here and it makes sense because through communication trust gets reinforced and that's what you both need. You both will be very different but will have so much in common, your experiences in life or even your tastes or hobbies, your favorite artist or the kind of music you like, it will start by something simple but then you'll realize how similar you truly are, you will mirror eachother in every aspect, for some with an spiritual development I see this person is your twin flame. A nice thing a like about your person is that they will allow you to stay in your femenine energy, the card of self indulgence gives me the feeling that they'll provide for the things you like, just as an example, if you are into a saga of books but you don't have enough money to afford everyone of them so you go buy it one by one, your person will buy you all the saga so you can enjoy your hobbies. For some of you I even see that your person pays for your beauty treatments like getting your lashes or nails done. I see that they'll like to take a protective role with you, if you are easilly stressed, especially in regards of legal matters or burocracy, your person will take care of it so you don't have to worry, if you have any dream or goal you want to achieve your person will also provide you a safe space so you can develop it, especially for those of you who are into arts or something that involves creativity
Signals:
(Tea leafs: teapot, mule, wreath, shield, stork, wedge, heart)
Your signs to know when your person is about to enter your life will be a dissapointment with a friendship of your same sex, you might have an idea of who this person is because you have been seeing red flags from them in the past but you have turned a blind eye with them, especially in terms of stubborness and not wanting to change their habits. I'm getting that they are the kind to mourn and complain over things that they could easilly change, even you could have given them advices in the past but this person is unwilling to change for the better so you'll have to take them out of your life before your person comes. The tea leafs say that this won't be easy for you because you love and appreciate this person but by having them in your life you have to stay in a protective state, the shield warns you that you need to protect yourself from this person because they are consuming your energies. For your person, they'll be in a process of creating something new, I'm getting that it will be related to work, they'll be moving in silence because there's someone near them that don't want your person to be successful in this new project, anyway the project will thrive regardless of what other people try to mess with it. Your person will be just about to get their victory when they get in a deeper contact with you, they'll feel like things are getting better for them after everything they had to go through, you'll be like their ultimate victory. They'll know it's you because they'll feel safe by your side, having in mind that they are surrounded by snakes, getting in contact with you will feel for them like being in precence of angels.
Channeled messages: protect yourself from evil eye, black turmaline, long term relationship, karmic debts, late night conversations, a lot of sexual energy, love letters, release the old so the new can enter, the goddess Kali, law of attraction, subliminal audios, stay in your femenine energy, the bee and the flower, trust the process, 1111, 222, sagittarius, libra, scorpio
Pile 3:
Who is your destined person?
(Cards: queen of cups, king of pentacles, queen of pentacles, 3 of wands, fool, king of cups, 10 of pentacles/ ace of wands, 8 of pentacles rev, 5 of swords rev, judgement, emperor)
This person is your soulmate/twin flame, they are your divine counterpart so you will notice it from the very first moment you meet them. Getting into who your person is, they come from a wealthy background, their family seem to be very rich to say the least, they have been a pampered child all their life, in fact, if they work is because they want to not because they need to. Your person has been raised by parents that are soulmates so they know what true love is and knows that they want that type of connection for them too, they are a romantic and are not afraid to express it, they are also very well mannered so expect them to be chilvalrous with you, they are a true gentleman. They are so open to love that is overwhelming, they fantazise an daydream a lot about you, how you look, your way to walk and your smell, they have you so much in their head but they feel frustration not knowing who you are and when you will appear, they look for you everywhere they go and in every person they meet, yu cold even feel their energy calling you, if you have romantic dreams with someone but you can see their face clearly it is your person calling you in, you can intuitively feel them, I'm also getting that if you are able to see the face of someone familiar to you in dreams like a famous person just check that person you dream about because they might reselble the characteristics of your person. They have a melancholic soul, like a poet from another century, they are very deep and emotional, they have so much love inside they want to offer but they feel frustrated because they don't find the right person to share it with, they don't want only to share love they want someone to share all their life with, they feel like they already have it all to live a happy life but there's this missing peace of wanting to share all their abundance with someone else. There's this phrase of the movie 'into the wild' (my favourite movie ever <3) that says 'happiness is only real when it's shared', I feel that your person resonates a lot with this phrase, they have people they love around but they crave a romantic connection to create a family with, btw, they are really into marriage and family, they also like children and animals and they love your person too. Your person has a sensitive heart and the pain of their solitude has led them to get involved with people with superficial intentions or toxic behaviors, mostly because of your person's money, they had a relationship in the past that left them feeling empty and that's why now they are giving themselves time to be alone and with their family, I see they have siblings that are playing a major role into your person's emotional healing. Idk if you'll know about this book, it's called fallen hearts by V.C Andrews, it is part of the Casteel saga but the character that reminds me of your person appears on the second book, his name is Troy Tatterton, I suggest you to read it or let me know if you already know them :). I also see that your person has traveled a lot, for some of you, you could even live at distanced places where you'd had to travel to see eachother, it may be in one of your person's journeys where they finally meet you.
The connection:
(Cards: true love, getting to know eachother, playfulness, wedding/ casette, hammer, camera, separation, twin flames)
Oh goddess, this is so beautiful it makes me want to cry! If it was up to your person they would marry you as soon as they meet you, after all their painful journey, when you appear in their life they'll feel like the skies will open up only for them, they'll know it's you and will court you from the very first moment, they will be flirty but charming at the same time, I see you'll feel the same too. Even though that feelings will be intense at first, you both will make the effort to get to know eachother on deeper levels to check your chemistry and compatibility, everything will feel light and easy, you'll get along super well, they'll make you feel like you are in a safe place, if you are naturally introverted they'll make you feel protected and, in case you are an hyper independent person, you'll feel like you can finally relax and release some of the weight over your shoulders. At some point you'll have distance between you two but it won't separate you, I see you will make the best of every moment you spend together and, after a little time your person will offer you a seious commitment so you can start your life together as a couple, it might also be a soon engagement. I see that you'll be watching the pictures and videos you make together, especially if decide to travel, I see a fancy cabin near a forest where you are staying together to spend some alone time with nobody else there to bother you. The time you spend separated will play a major role for you two to decide that you want to be together forever, I see that your person will have a harder time being away from you, that's why they won't hesitate at the moment of offering you commitment, probably they give you a promise ring or tell you to get married, it will happen sooner than usual but both of you will feel certain about this relationship and what you want from it, you'll fit like puzle pieces and you'll both will understand why things didn't work with anybody else in the past.
Signals:
(Tea leafs: gong, key, shark, caterpillar, dagger, camel, unicorn, carriage)
For you, you'll be receiving good news about something you have done, it will be something exciting for you, a successful outcome for something you put a lot of effort in, you could even celebrate it with your close ones because this will make you very happy. There's a little warning for you about being responsible with your money but also I see you could loose something important like a jewel or something with big material value like a phone or something that sort, so if you suddently loose soemthing important take it as a sign that your person is about to enter your life. For your person I'd confirm what I said before about the trip, the carriage means a journey either be a mental or physical but I feel that it's a trip for vacation. This journey is because they have been through a period of worries and stress, they just have solved a problem before making this trip, this solution will involve some changes in their life that will align them with their highest good so, overcoming this obstacle will finally lead them to you, their most desired wish. They'll be taking a time to release all the tension they've been holding, it is surely oon holidays so check the calendar just in case, they'll be with more people in this journey, probably their siblings, your meeting will be something spontaneous, neither of you will be expetiing it
Channeled messages: Water sign, earth moon sign, family money, colors red and green, divine counterparts, white doves and sunflowers, many options in love, send you romantic phrases or pictures that reminds them of you, settle down, a midset change, aries season, 777, 1818
Pile 4:
Who is your destined person?:
(Cards: knight of wands, 10 of cups, moon, queen of pentacles, 8 of pentacles, knight of swords/ 7 of cups rev, 9 of swords, queen of pentacles, fool, empress)
Your person got the queen of pentacles repeated with two different tarot decks, this gives me the feeling that they feel plenty with the current direction of their life, with the 10 of cups I'd confirm that they feel happy and fulfilled and everything is working out for your person. Besides that luck is on their side naturally, your person has fought to be in the place they are right now, they are following their passion and vocation and being loyal to their heart has lead them to success and recognition, they are also very optimistic and knows how to see the good side of things at every situation. Your person reminds me of Eli from Boy swallows universe (please watch the show, it's awesome and you'll love Eli), your person is brave, independent and resourceful, even daring sometimes, they are loyal to their truth and their heart, in fact I see they can be a little obsessed with finding out the truth of things so they could even be into conspiracy theories or things that sort. Your person is a wanderer, a curious soul but with a grounded spirit, they can be wild sometimes but they know their own limits and knows when to stop, they are really down to earth and mature on the important matters but very lighthearted and spontaneus when the ocassion requires it. They have been through seriouus things in the past, they may have some unresolved heavy trauma they didn't gave themselves the chance to solve it so they might act reckless sometimes, but the good thing is that they have an strong moral compass and value system they keep loyal at every moment, betray their values would feel like betraying themselves and that's something they don't want to go through. Your person can be an unintentional heartbreaker, they don't want to hurt anybody's feelings but it's easy for people to catch feelings for your person, is something about their aura or their energy, they are so warm and gentle that everybody feels drawn to them and can't help but develop feelings for them, they are easy to be loved. Your person is really smart, they could be air dominant in their chart because they also seem like having a talent with words or being a great communicator, they are also very funny so expect to laugh a lot with them, they might be younger than you or it's simply that they have a youthful energy, whatever it is they have this childlike energy that makes them lovely. Your person has this golden retirever energy that everyone likes, they are also very friendly and seems to have it easy to create friendships with other people, their sense of humor is a plus on this aspect too, they are a sweetheart with a loving heart but they are also very hard working and commited to what they think is right, you'll feel super comfortable by their side, even though they could be younger they will give off very mature and reliable energy.
The connection:
(Cards: Keep an open mind, retreat, flirt, love yourself first, chemistry/ the sword and rose, girl talk, cupid's arrow, sunglasses, engagement ring)
Okay, at first they might not be your usual type or the kind of person you would be interested in, for some, your person could be younger than you and that could be a turn off for you. Your connection will bloom progressively by creating a friendship first, besides the fact that your person will be very into you from the very first moment, they'll prefer to respect your times and show you they are worthy of your love, they will feel like they are out of your league for some reason. You might run from them at a certain moment because you get confused with your emotions, especially for those of you reading this that are a water moon, you'll need some time to reflect on your emotions and realize that there's an inmense chemistry between you two, maybe this distance you take serves you as a reassurance of how drawn you feel to this person, they'll have a bad time with this retreat but for you will be very healing and enlightning. I see that there's a female or dominant femenine energy in your life you trust so much, that person is very reliable and wise, don't doubt to ask them for advice because she will bring you clarity about the situation, I'm glad to say that you have an amazing support system, count on that female friend when you need mental clarity because she will be very honest, for some of you this person could be a sister. During this separation you might think that your person is focused into their bussiness but they'll be into stalker mode (positively, of course), checking up on you, they might even ask someone close to you how you are doing just to know about you, they'll also be checking your social media to know about you, they won't do it in a creepy way, they'll feel the same pull to you but they have a harder time trying to contain their emotions, the good thing is that you seem to be very intuitive so you'll know when their energy is trying to approach you. They'll be so in love with you, it feels like they fell first but you'll fall harder after a while, you both are soulmates so, even though you'll try to fight your feelings, you can't help but fall for this person, and after you see how much they are willing to offer and their true esence you'll fall for them (I'm writting this at 15:15 on my clock in case it's a relevant number for you). They'll wear their heart on their sleeve, they'll be very protective of you and won't allow any disrispect to you, they can be cutthroating if anybody tries to mess with you, tey'll feel so honnoured by you focusing on them that they will try to make you the happiest person ever everyday of your life, they can't believe their luck by finding a person like you and receiving love from you, this connection will be an equal give and take, you both will do everything for the other to make them happy.
Signals:
(Tea leafs: dolphin, windchimes, fox, broken ring, bull, needle and thread, ant, table)
For you, you'll be in a very nice moment of your life when you are about to meet your person, you'll be receiving a big amount of money because of something you did in the past, like a material reward. This material abundance will give you a feeling of peace and relief, you have the chance to have some vacations or free time by yourself, I see you a little secretive about this, like you don't want anybody to ruin this good time, you may also be silent about the amount of money you receive. For your person, they'll be dettaching from someone or something, the broken ring is usually associated with romance but I feel it more related to bussiness so they might be changing their job for a healthiest enviroment (if you felt called to pile 1 I suggest you to check it), it seems like their current work field is forcing your person to sacrifice themselves and keeps them in a defensive position. They'll have to work hard but it will bring them stability and security.
Channeled messages: Acts of service, getting a pet together, a cat person, sleep problems, full moons affect their mood, white horses and moths, vivid dreams, sitcoms, a lot of laugh, mental fog, meditation, 1212, 444, taurus, gemini, aquarius
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donutz · 3 months ago
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Yandere Sebastian x reader if you okay with it?
Yandere alphabet Sebastian Solace headcanons
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When Sebastian gets TOO attached
— Credits to @dear-yandere for the prompt!! I probably won't do this again because I don't enjoy yanderes all that much. But don't feel bad for requesting this, I enjoyed this and had many laughs ^_^
Warnings: There's gonna be a lot, but there's no acting it out I swear; Mentions of abduction, fighting back, lashing out, escaping, punishment(NOT IN A 𝓯𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓴𝔂 WAY), dying(You don't die), isolation, crying, screaming, exploition, hurting Reader, revere/worship, breaking, manipulation, and drugging Reader!!; Remember they're just mentions, so it doesn't happen; This turns out to be bad at the end, I think, I'm just tired
Affection(How do they show their love and affection? How intense would it get)?
Sebastian would get the urge to just hug you, specifically hugging you really tight just so you can’t leave
He wouldn’t do it himself, because he doesn’t want to get too close to humans
You’d have to act out most of the affection, physical affection especially
He doesn’t mind doing acts of service, and loves quality time
Spending time with you is just so simple for him, and really builds trust between you two
That’s what he thinks
You’d have to be near dead or just really emotional in a moment for him to say he loves you
It’s not like he doesn’t! No way! Who wouldn’t?!
But maybe it’s better that others don’t love you.. Romantically of course
Family is important
It wouldn’t get too intense, just hugging you pretty tight to the point you can’t go anywhere
Or just keeping you in his shop for a long amount of time, he already took care of that radar thing, don’t worry
He really likes to stitch up any injuries or help you with them, even the smallest cuts can make him want to heal you
One time you were hanging around for a large amount of time, taking in all of the time you two spent together
You realized that you needed to go, standing up to go to the vent
He stopped you, holding your whole arm with just one of his hands, yelling for you to wait
You looked back at him shocked and confused
“... Sebastian”?
“Could you.. Just stay a little longer”?
Let’s say in this moment you had a crush on him
“Uhm. Yeah, sure, I don’t mind”.
That interaction was the start of it, of him clinging to you, wanting you to stay here
Here with him
He wondered why he felt this way
Blood(How messy are they willing to get when it comes to their darling)?
Not too bloody, he finds human blood disgusting… Well– it depends on the human
Not really, I mean he’ll admit that your blood smells gross, whether he loves you or not
He might even feel a little bit guilty after
Minus the monsters, if anybody else really touches you, he’ll just scowl but leave it alone
He’ll most likely act out on somebody who was making you uncomfortable
Maybe even kill them? But not in his shop, somebody else may smell it and allege that he had done it
He doesn’t want to hurt them… In front of you, he’d just scare them off
If they didn’t get scared off then he’d break their arm
Then you’re just in the back watching it all, looking at the prisoner and then Sebastian
“.... Oh my”.
The prisoner would yell out for help, then they’d pass out
Sebastian would try to explain to you that he was just— Removing a bad.. Prisoner?
“No it’s fine, I— I understand”…
Maybe he loves you even more after that?
Maybe you love him even more now?
Cruelty(How would they treat their darling once abducted? Would they mock them)?
Uhm.. I’m not sure!
I wouldn’t think Sebastian would abduct Reader, mainly because he wants to focus on getting out of the Hadal Blacksite
But hypothetically, if he were to…
I think he wouldn’t try to smile at you every time he saw you, to show you that he wouldn’t want to be messed with
“Sebastian, you didn’t need to abduct me”.
“Uh— What”...?
He isn’t very good at the abducting thing… Maybe that’s why those ropes are so loose…
While that’s true, it’s mainly because he doesn’t know how to tie a rope
It’s embarrassinggg… Don’t tease him too much about it
He would TRY to tease you, make it SEEM like you miss the outside
Yet in this universe, you don’t mind, at all
But that doesn’t mean you enjoy just being by yourself down here
He would never mock you! Seriously anyways
Minus me not really enjoying yandere things, I actually would think that Sebastian isn’t really good at yandere stuff
Other than just having those feelings for you, breaking your legs is… Crazy
Ugh, don’t even SPEAK about isolating you from the world, that’s somewhat worse
He knows what it’s like, and if you’re not working for Urbanshade, he wouldn’t want to put you through that
Not the person he loves!
Why would someone do that…?
Darling(Aside from abduction, would they do anything against their darling’s will)?
No, I mean if turning off that detonation system counts then yeah
Why would he abduct you just for you to die in thirty minutes?
That’s dumb.
He wouldn’t do anything romantic to you without your consent
If he did then that would mean he’d be just like those Urbanshade ‘people’
Eventually he’d just let you go
Disappointed in himself for even thinking of doing this
Sorry if you’re into abduction☹️
Exposed(How much of their heart do they bare to their darling? How vulnerable are they when it comes to their darling)?
Since he feels this way already, he might as well spill out his feelings? Right?
He’d let you read his document for free, after knowing and loving each other of course!
Randomly he’d just reveal bits and bits of his past, of Urbanshade, that stupid company…
In those emotional moments, he would talk about what had happened
Possibly even how he feels? Like everyday I mean, not about you
Actually it’s both
“How— How I FEEL ABOUT YOU IT— IT EATS AT ME EVERYDAY”!!!
Yeah
He’d turn his back to you, which is very important for a scared creature
Like a cat, I’m not saying he’s like a cat
He might like cats, or hate them, I’m not sure, just a random headcanon
He’d LOVE to open up to you, he swears!
He trusts you too, a lot
But in order for him to do that, please, don’t joke about his past
Sebastian can be very vulnerable, one time he was resting his head in your lap
Somehow
A huge creature on your lap, his head the size of your torso, it was nice
Fight(How would they feel if their darling fought back)?
There’s no point, he can crush your head with his hand
He would regret not drugging you
He’d slap you so you can pass out, but he doesn't want to hurt you! At all!
Please don’t fight back, you’re making it harder than it needs to be
You’re hanging up by the back of your shirt, with his claw, flailing
“Oh my god!! Sebastian I’m choking”.
“Oh, sorry”.
That wasn’t serious
He just might yell at you to stop fighting
Game(Is this a game to them? How much would they enjoy watching their darling try to escape)?
No, he’d be very annoyed every time you’d escape, it just shows how sane you are
The more times you try to escape, the more days you stay down here
Because if you escape then you might tell Urbanshade about him, they’re the only ones who know he’s alive so they might believe you
It’s better to just play into it, so you can leave earlier and be mentally okay
He doesn’t enjoy cat and mouse, not with you
I mean if he was hunting somebody down at that dumb company, he would LOVE it, temporarily
It’d get annoying after some time
He doesn’t enjoy watching you struggle and squirm in those barely tight ropes
He’d tell you to just give up, he’s not going to let you go
After many attempts of escaping, he’ll give you a HUGE tip
“If you want to escape so badly, then START loving me”.
If you’re smart enough, you’ll get that pretending that you love him will get you out of here
If you aren’t and keep escaping, it’s not going to go good for you
He may not be good at ropes, but he may be good with certain drugs
To keep you down here of course
He wouldn’t want to manipulate you into loving him
… He might have to though
Hell(What would be their darling’s worst experience with them)?
I would guess him giving you your ‘every-other-day’ drugs  so you can stay with him
Being convinced that you’ll stay down here with him forever is a bad one
Uhm… Him yelling at you?
God, he really doesn’t want to make it hard for you! Just LOVE HIM ALREADY!!!
IT ISN’T THAT HARD.
Or maybe it is
Abducting you wasn’t the best option so you can love him
He doesn’t enjoy isolating you from the world, but he can’t just have you getting with anybody else!!
No he—... He could never let you with anybody else
😈😈
Ideals(What kind of future do they have in mind for/with their darling)?
He’d hope you’d love him back
So he could let you go
He doesn’t want you to stay down here
He doesn’t want to drug you
It hurts
He doesn’t want for you to go through the same thing he did
Minus the experiments
Maybe not marriage, but being together romantically is a dream for him
He imagines being more happier
Happier with you
You’re so important to him :(
Imagining being at the surface, being Solace again
Oh what a dream.
He’d marry you if he was human
He is NOT HAVING KIDS!!!
It’s not just the sex part, it’s having to deal with kids
Don’t tell anybody I said this but… I think Sebastian is asexual...
Shh shhh…
Jealousy(Do they get jealous? Do they lash out or find a way to cope)?
He can get really jealous, only if he sees anybody else being friendly with you
Unless it’s the other monsters, he’d be surprised but also proud
Of the monster, but it also depends on the monster
If it was Eyefestation or The p.AI.nter he’d feel very proud
Getting along with a human is… Strange down here
To realize they’re all not bad
Some of them are good
Anyways, if you start to talk about your (possible)friends at the surface then his face expression would change
From a restful expression to slightly stressed and furious
He immediately wipes that expression off his face
Sebastian doesn’t want you to realize he’s jealous
Too bad you already noticed
“What? You jealous or something?” You tease
“No I’m just.. Surprised you have friends”.
“Ouch, oh wow you hurt me”!
He tries to not lash out, but maybe a distraction can work or something
“Heyyy! Y��know I think that I wouldn’t mind ONE person leaving MY shop RIGHT NOW”.
You two look at him with confusion
“AN INDIVIDUAL WHO I DON’T KNOW?” He hints
Your friend flashes him with a flash beacon
“WH—” Sebastian wipes his hands over his face
You look at your friend and get close to them while looking at Sebastian, “Alright I think you should—” 
“GET OUT”!!!
After they leave, you talk with Sebastian, trying to figure out what was going on before he got beamed
Apparently he was, ‘tired of intruders’
Kisses(How do they act around or with their darling)?
He can act kind of bashful when it’s just the two of you
He seems annoyed when you tease him but he doesn’t mind all that much
He jokes or flirts at times
Whenever he’s flustered he looks away, and you can tell by the lean of his head
He doesn’t try to act nonchalant or extremely confident, he’s just himself
He gets more on edge around others, but they get softer and less rigid around you
 You guys would seem like really good friends from a different point of view
Not really with the back-and-forth flirts you two do
If you say something that’ll REALLY get to him, he’ll go silent
And if he could, he would blush
Love letters(How would they go about courting or approaching their darling)?
I would think you’d confess first
He really doesn’t want to ruin the relationship between you two
But if he ends up confessing first then it would be on accident
He’d be rambling and then all of the sudden,
“And that’s because I love you and—”
Something like that
He didn’t even catch what he said so you’d have to call him out on it
“Wait what did you just say”?
“Huh”?
“Like— What was that last part”?
“Oh you mean ____”?
“No I mean before that”.
Then he’d look all confused until he realized what he said
Silence…
“Don’t worry I love you too I just wouldn’t think you’d say it so suddenly.” You laugh
Maybe if he was corny and back in college or something(If he was even in college) and HUMAN, he’d give you a love letter
I would think Sebastian would be good with poetry
Perchance
Mask(Are their true colors drastically different from the way they act around everyone else)?
Yeah, but he wouldn’t make it too obvious that he likes you
Unless he was around somebody who’s emotionally intelligent, or intelligent in love
Then they’d definitely get the hint
He sounds more stern and angry around others, but with you he sounds more soft and calm
His voice is more lowered, not in a alpha🐺🐺 way but I mean more comfortable
Maybe even some voice cracks? If that’s possible
Make fun of him afterwards, it’s worth it even after he looks mad
Letting you hang around in the shop is diabolical, he just really hopes somebody doesn’t come across you two
Seeing him with his guard down and chilling with a human is his worst nightmare
Minus Urbanshade
It gets worse if they start to make fun of him for being around a human
He’s just more… Serene.
Around you
Naughty(How would they punish their darling)?
Oh uhm
We’re not getting 𝓯𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓴𝔂 but, he would just make the days longer for you and give you MORE drugs
If you insult him he tries to not act out on it, he thinks it makes him weak
Letting insults get to you is weak
In his opinion
So the insults don’t have much consequences minus an annoyed stare
Oppression(How many rights would they take away from their darling)?
Maybe screaming?
I’m sorry I’m not too good with this yandere stuff
It’s uhh… Interesting to me😁
Patience(How patient are they with their darling)?
I mean unless you’re screaming for hours on end he can be pretty patient
But if you scream too much he’ll just have to put duct tape over your mouth
He’ll wait, and wait for you to just accept him
He really doesn’t want to keep you trapped down here
I know I’ve already said it but he REALLY doesn’t want you down here
If you’re obedient then he’ll just let you out early
If you’re obedient AND love him that is
He doesn’t want you to go telling others about what happens
Unless you make a deal
Likeeee
“If you let me go and we can spend more time together then maybe I could fall for you. Instead of drugging me and keeping me down here, I could actually love you”.
He’ll think about it then agree to it
And guess what!
You ended up loving him
Possibly…
Quit(If their darling dies, leaves, or successfully escapes, would they ever be able to move on)?
He’d just give up after some time, expecting this
Expecting for people to leave him again
Humans
Let me split this up
— Dying
Holy MOLY.
He’s grieving forever
Your death would be the last thing he thinks of before crying to sleep
He HATES being reminded of your death every single day
Sometimes he thinks of not even meeting you in the first place
Then he wouldn’t feel this way, about a human
I mean seriously, if you couldn’t come back and I’m talking about realistically, he would be super duper sad!!
— Leaving
He knows it’s better for you, but he wants you with himmm
Unless you can get him out of here
Please get him out of here
He’s going to miss you, a lot
It’s been a year daddy
Sorry☹️
— Escaping
Oh my god!! How did you do that with those ‘tight’ ropes on your wrists!!
He’d be PISSED.
Searching for you, EVERYWHERE
It’s not like you’d go that far, or find those endless rooms
Right?
RIGHT???
Pretty please don’t escape, he just might catch you
Then he’s not letting you go, since it’s OBVIOUS you don’t love him AND you’re not obedient
Regret(Would they ever feel guilty about abducting their darling? Would they ever let their darling go)?
ONE HUNDRED PERCENT
He would regret it everyday that you’re down here!
Sebastian doesn’t want to!! He just needs you!!!
He feels pretty bad for capturing you down here
Constantly worrying about if your head will pop from the pressure
Sometimes he thinks that he abducted the wrong person
He’d let you go if you loved him back, possibly even on the first day!
You’d be really lucky if he did that
Butttt, you’d HAVE to promise you won’t tell anybody about this
That he’s down here, other than the prisoners and monsters
A weight would be carried off his back when he would let you go
Stigma(What brought about this side of them [childhood, curiosity, etc])?
Loving you?... Or a sprinkle of no good human interaction?
He’s never gotten so close with somebody, except for family or having friends at school
Feeling this way about a human after the experiments hit him pretty hard
So I would think that the reason he feels this way could be because of the experiments
It’s affected him a lot, especially how he feels about the human species
He’s forgot some things, so he can’t really recall a good human action that’s happened to him
Him loving you and negative human interaction mixed together is the factor on why he feels this way
Tears(How do they feel about seeing their darling scream, cry, and/or isolate themselves)?
I wouldn’t say he’s a sadist, to you
If it were somebody bad dying then he’d smile
Heh… When I smile, RUN😈
I would love for Gianni to say that
Anywho, he wouldn’t enjoy seeing you suffer like that
It reminds him of the experiments he went through
Hearing your scream scares him in a way, to realize that he’s doing that type of stuff to you
To hear you screaming out of fear and pain
It makes him sad
He’s either going to let you go or just keep you forever
Depends on how he feels
Don’t scream, it makes him feel bad :C
Crying makes it worse
Are you really that scared?
Did he really do that to you?
The ‘person’ who loves you?
Is it really love if he’s torturing you?
If you were to isolate yourself then he’d think you broke
Just seeing you this way reminds him of lying on that cold table
Nearly alive and awake being poked and prodded at
Ughh, just shut up already and leave
That’s something he would say
Unique(Would they do anything different from the classic yandere)?
Letting you go and actually feeling bad for you
Not being fully insane
Feeling guilty
Actually being somewhat sane
Just feeling the way a good person would feel
Even after turning into that ‘monster’
He is definitely one in a million when it comes to yanderes
Vice(What weakness can their darling exploit in order to escape)?
His feelings
And his trauma
Definitely his trauma
Not making fun of it, but more like speaking about it emotionally
“Did those experiments turn you this way”?
“The negative human interaction just— Impacting you when you realized that not all humans are bad”?
Yeah, make sure to use that against him
To make it seem like you know what he went through
Make it seem like his feelings are recognized
Manipulation 101
Wit’s end(Would they ever hurt their darling)?
NO!!
I TOLD YOU NO!!!
NOOOOO!!!!
That was a reference by the way
Aren’t I just so funny?
Xoanon(How much would they revere or worship their darling? To what length would they go to win their darling over)?
His respect for you is just average I would say
Before he met you it would be pretty small, then it would raise if you didn’t flash him with the flash beacon
If you show him genuine respect then he’ll do it back
Even if he loves you
He’s not going to worship you! Ughh, ew that’s… Nasty!!
He thinks it, not me!
Doing acts of service, like healing you, opening a door for you, things like that
He’d compliment you at times but it’s rare
He’d ask The p.AI.nter what are ways humans currently show affection
“HAH. LOSER.” It generates
Yearn(How long do they pine after their darling before they snap)?
If he gets hints that you love someone else
I’m getting tired it’s 11 pm
Zenith(Would they ever break their darling)?
He would think he did if you acted a certain way
But I don’t think he would on purpose
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I apologize if I've annoyed you in anyway from mentioning how I feel about yandere stuff. I just find it kind of insane to even think of those type of actions, especially romanticizing it.
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downbadf0rficppl · 9 months ago
Text
you're on your own kid
Bucky Barnes x Reader
Summary: You had a rough childhood, what with an absent father and a piece of shit mother. When a family dinner goes wrong, how do you stop your brain from spiraling? How do you convince yourself you're not alone? A certain blue-eyed, metal-armed avenger, of course.
Word Count: 3.3K
Warnings: Eating Disorders/Weight Related Talk, Blood, Injury, Kinda Self Harm, Child Abuse [PLEASE DO NOT READ IF THESE TOPICS MAKE YOU UNCOMFORTABLE!!!]
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You squirmed in your seat, fidgeting with your sleeves. It was awkward being at home after so long. You hadn't been home for four years almost - and it had probably been even longer since you'd sat at this table. Your mother sat across the table from you - her gaze heavy on your head. Heavy is the head that wears the crown, your brother had joked.
He was sitting next to you, his knee gently brushing against yours. A placating movement. He was trying to keep the peace - enjoying the first meal that you had had as a family in a long while. You don't know what it was that made you seek them out. Maybe if you had waited a week, you would have thought about the facts, rather than the feelings. Maybe if you had waited a week, you wouldn't be sitting here with the weight of the world on your shoulders.
You sat in silence, playing with the food on your plate. Your mother was of the almond variety, weighing out plates before passing them around the table. You didn't have much to talk about. Things hadn't ended well the last time the two of you spoke.
Your brother chimed in with the odd question - 'How's your gardening coming along, mom?' or 'How's the new job, sis? What's it like working for the Avengers?'. You'd humour him until your mother's disapproving stares became too much and then you'd shut up. He'd give you a sad sort of pitying smile, before returning to his food.
Dinner was long - even it was less than the traditional three courses. Your brother packed up some extra food, and took it home - he only lived about a half mile away so it made sense for him to go home. You made to go with him but your mother insisted you stay with her. "I made up your room, just the way you like it."
You doubted it. But you smiled anyway and hugged your brother tightly. He whispered that 'you would be fine' and 'it's only one night' and maybe for a second you believed him. As soon as he left, you headed to bed, claiming that 'The trip was long, ma, I'm super tired.'
The look on her face screamed that she didn't believe you. But she waved you good night and headed to the kitchen to find her favourite bottle of scotch.
You opened the door to your childhood bedroom to find it almost the same. The pink walls and bedcovers were suffocating, the blinds drawn shut to create this overwhelming feeling of being trapped. You were. Trapped.
You took your jumper off, laid it over your vanity chair, and jumped onto the bed. It was comfortable, but lying there staring at the ceiling brought back all the horrible memories you tried to suppress. Diet pills and weighing scales, small plates and vomiting, screaming and crying, sirens and hospital bills. Tears streamed down your face as curled up onto your side.
It was almost midnight when you heard your mother walk up the stairs. You knew she was drunk - her steps were loud and out of sync, and the bottle in her hand frequently tapped the banister as she tried to stabilise herself on it. You half expected her to keep walking, cross the landing, and fall dead asleep on her bed.
Instead, your door creaked open and you came face to face with her. Her glassy eyes were rimmed with red - she'd been crying too. Her eyes raked over you and suddenly you wished you'd never come back at all.
"Such a shame," she whispered, "You could have been so much more."
"Ma?"
"You were always... the best. The prettiest. The skinniest. You could have been incredible. Instead, you are... nobody."
Her words cut deep but you tried to ignore them. You were somebody. You worked for the Avengers, you were a top-level agent for SHIELD. You helped save the world.
"I tried my best. To help you. But you were ungrateful," Your mother stalked closer, her sadness giving way to anger, "conceited, convinced that you could be anything more than what I made you. But you were wrong. I created you. Without me, THERE IS NO YOU." She launched the bottle at your head and it shattered at the wall behind you.
She kept screaming, but you tuned her out, slipping off the bed and grabbing your jumper and keys. You ran past her, shoving her hard as she tried to grab you and ran out to your car. She watched you go screaming abuse after you, telling you to 'never step foot inside her house again.' You weren't planning to.
You drove like a madman back to upstate - traffic was pretty light considering the ungodly hour. You parked haphazardly - Tony would probably murder you for it in the morning but you couldn't find it within yourself to care. You trudged upstairs, footfalls far too heavy for someone is literally a superspy, but this was your home. You weren't running from anyone in here.
You were so stuck in your own head that you didn't realise that Bucky was sitting in the living room, watching as you walked into the kitchen. He'd heard your footsteps and he was worried. You never walked that heavily.
"Everything ok, doll?"
You looked up at him, not registering a word he said. He stood up and walked over to you, fingers reaching up to stroke your face.
"You good?" He whispered, his forehead almost touching yours.
You pulled away from his touch, even though your body was screaming for you to collapse into his open arms. "Yeah, Buck, fine. See you in the morning for training." You stepped past him, heading for the stairs.
"Yeah, doll. See you in the morning."
The morning came around far quicker than you'd hoped. You had barely slept, tossing and turning all night, your mother's words ringing through your head.
Eventually, you realised it was a futile effort. You might as well get up and be productive. You found yourself in the gym just as the sun came up, face to face with a heavy bag. You clenched your wrapped fists before shaking the sleep out of your system.
Your hits were precise, measured, calculated. If there was one thing no one could fault you for, it was your skills. You were an impeccable agent. If only your mum could see that. You took your rage out on the heavy bag, pouring every ounce of resent in your body into your punches. Sweat beaded on your forehead, the exertion making your breaths heavier and your knuckles sting. You kept punching, time slipping away from you.
You heard the door to the gym open, and someone was talking. Their voice was muted, almost as if your head was underwater. Between the punches and your tiredness, nothing registered in your foggy mind. From the distance you could hear footsteps, getting louder almost as if they were walking towards you.
You nearly jumped out of your skin when a hand brushed against your shoulder. You spun around ready to cuss out whichever stupid rookie decided to bother you so early in the morning. You were surprised to see familiar eyes boring into yours.
"I called your name, you know," Bucky said, his hands moving to rest on your waist, "twice. I even dropped my bag next to yours to get your attention."
"Sorry, I was thinking."
"I can tell," Bucky's thumbs drew circles on your waist, absentmindedly, "Where's that pretty mind been at lately?"
"What do you want, Barnes?"
"I'm worried. About you. You haven't been yourself lately. What's going on?"
"Nothing." You sighed, removing yourself from his grasp, "Missions, reports, meetings. It's tiring."
"Maybe you take a holiday? Try and relax a bit?" You could hear the genuine concern in his voice but you still rolled your eyes.
"Maybe you mind your own fucking business, Barnes? Don't you have other shit to be doing apart from hovering over me?" You grabbed your stuff, refusing to make eye contact with him, and walked out.
"I'm still seeing you for training right?" You hear him call after you, but you keep walking. You let out a shaky breath as soon as you got into the elevator.
He didn't see you for training. Or after.
You'd skipped training in favour of going on a run with Steve and then you had to file a few mission reports. You'd holed yourself up in your office, manila files piling up on the corner of your desk your fingers brushing over the keys with seasoned speed. Bucky had wanted to stop by but given your odd behaviour in the morning, he'd decided against it.
You were glad. You hated that Bucky could see right through you, even when you tried your best to hide it. Especially because you were irrevocably in love with him.
You'd been in love with him ever since you'd started working at the compound. Bucky was one of the few people to notice you and your efficiency. You became one of his preferred mission partners, a fact of which you were very proud. You quickly became one of his favourite people, period, and Bucky even went so far as to blow off Steve to spend time with you.
It hurt you to keep him at arm's length but you knew it was for the best. You remembered what your father told you the night before he left. You're on your own kid. You always have been.
You were given a mission assignment in the evening, with strict instructions of 'wheels up at 0600.' The early pickup time wasn't strange and you were itching to get out of the compound. You packed your bag up, leaving it by the door, and headed to bed.
Another restless night of sleep was the last thing you needed, but you were up and at the hangar waiting for Captain Rogers by 0600. He smiled when he saw you and handed you a coffee. You smiled. Your first real smile since you visited your parents.
"Good luck out there." A voice calls from behind you. You freeze. Bucky jogs towards you both, his eyes betraying his tiredness. Steve's face breaks into a grin at the sight of his old friend. Steve throws his arms around Bucky.
"Don't do anything stupid until I get back," Steve says, his joking tone making Bucky laugh.
"How can I? You're taking all the stupid with you."
You want to smile at the sight of the two of them together but you held yourself back. You walked towards the quinjet, ready to get this show on the road when you hear Bucky clearing his voice behind you.
"Where do you think you're going?"
"Onto the quinjet?"
"Not without a hug, you're not." You sigh but trudge down the steps to give him a half-arsed side hug. He pulls you in tight, and whispers into your hair, "When you get back, we're gonna talk. Okay?"
You don't respond, brushing him off and climbing into the jet. Steve follows you in, dropping his bag next to yours, before turning back to wave at Bucky.
"Don't worry, Buck, I'll take good care of your girl."
His girl. That sounded nice. You shook the thought away before elbowing Steve in the sight. Jokingly of course, but he still doubled over for effect. Bucky burst into laughter.
That was the last thing you saw as the door went up.
The mission was hard. Not terrible - no one died, which was a win in your book - but it wasn't fun. Multiple shootouts, car chases, and three hours of hiding in a dumpster later, you were ready to nap for a week. But, alas, Fury had set a debrief at 8 the next morning, which meant that you had - you checked the clock on your microwave - 6 hours at best.
You dropped your bag on the sofa and headed into the bathroom. You unzipped your utility vest, dropping it on the floor. You needed to disinfect it - god knows what had stained that vest. You pulled up your compression shirt, wincing as the flecks of red came into view. You quickly stripped it off, dropping it in the washing basket, before whipping back around. You caught your own reflection in the mirror and tilted your head, taking in your reflection of your body. Your mother's words played back in your head. Maybe your mother had a point.
You quickly shook your head, dispelling those horrible thoughts from your mind. But still, you continued to stare at your body, scrutinising every feature. I mean, sure you weren't as skinny as you used to be, but that's because you had muscle now, right? And the hamburger you had for lunch was a treat - you know for completing the mission? The super important mission that you were on because you are important and you are somebody and you have value and you are someone without your mum. Don't you? And it's ok that you can't see your ribs because actually you have abs now and that's way more attractive. Right? And.. and... and....
SMASH.
Broken glass was shattered all around you, fragments piercing your skin. Your mirror now had a fist-shaped hole in the middle, from where your sadness had quickly bled into anger.
You cradled your bloodied fist in your hand, sinking to the ground as sobs racked through your body. Glass dug into your knees as they hit the floor and you curled your hands into your chest. Hurtful 'what ifs' swirled through your head, stealing your breath and making it almost impossible to breathe.
Pounding on your door broke you out of your thoughts. You tried to regain your bearings. It was 2 am. You were in your apartment, the apartment that was miles away from the compound, that you lived in alone. Who the hell would be at your door right now?
You were silent, breath bated as you waited for the stranger to go away. They banged on the door again.
"Doll, I swear to god, if you don't let me in, I'm going to break your fucking door down."
You knew that voice anywhere. The knowledge that you weren't alone, that he was here for you, that Bucky wouldn't make you suffer alone brought new tears to your eyes. Fresh sobs burst from your chest as you tried to move. Glass shards were stabbing into your legs, and one of your hands was bleeding profusely. Bucky, your safety net, was so close and yet so far.
"Doll? Doll, I can hear you. Doll, please, please let me in." You could hear the panic in his voice as he struggled with his conscience. You tried to move but the pain was excruciating. A pained scream erupted from your lips.
A loud bang came from your front door, followed by heavy and fast footsteps.
"Where are you, doll? Come on, just come and talk to me." He said, sweeping through your living room. You whimpered from the bathroom, his enhanced hearing focussing on even the smallest of sounds.
He quickly found his way into the bathroom, his eyes raking over your hunched figure, before flitting to the broken mirror and the shards of glass on the ground.
"Oh doll," he whispered, bending down to scoop you up from the floor. He cradled you gently as he carried you from the bathroom into your bedroom. "What happened, doll? Talk to me."
You looked up at him, trying to figure out where to start. You blanked. You couldn't find a good place to start the story that would cause you the least pain. Your mouth opened and closed a few times with no sound coming out. Bucky rested his hand against yours, trying to reassure you to take your time, but the sound of your wince drew his attention to your hands.
"Doll, your hands." He grabbed your hands gently, peering at your knuckles. They were mauled, glass sticking out of torn-up skin, "What did you do?" He stood up, walking into your kitchen to grab the first aid kit he knew was under the sink. Watching him walk around like he owned the place made some small part of your heart happy - it was almost as if your dreams, your darkest-held fantasies, were coming true.
Bucky kneeled in front of you, placing the first aid kit beside him. He brushed all the glass shards off your legs - luckily none of them had been embedded into your skin. He cleaned any small scratches before turning to your knuckles. The sight of your knuckles made him wince and you started to pull them away. Bucky leveled you with a look that said, let me take care of you. You let him. He sterilised a pair of tweezers and got to work pulling the shards of glass out of your knuckles. You sat in silence for a while, Bucky diligently working on your knuckles, and you watching the swiftness with which he worked.
"Why did you punch the mirror, doll?" Bucky asked after a while.
"I was angry," you whispered, your voice deathly quiet. Now that the rage was gone, all you had left was embarrassment.
"And why were you angry?" Bucky coaxed, his eyes pleading for some answers. He pulled out the last shard of glass before swiping an alcohol wipe over your knuckles and bandaging them up. He packed up all the items back into the first aid box and went to put it away and wash his hands.
You were still sat on the bed contemplating your answer when he got back. He knelt in front of you again, before he rested his hands on your face, "Why were you angry doll?"
"I didn't like it." You whispered, pulling your body away from him.
"What didn't you like?" Bucky's eyes stared into yours and you suddenly felt extremely self-conscious. You tried to remove yourself from his all-seeing, mind-reading gaze, but he didn't let you. He pulled you into his lap, and you hid your face in his neck. His beard tickled your forehead as you nestled into him, trying to seek out the comfort you so desperately needed but didn't know how to ask for.
"Me." You said, your head turned away from him as you stared at your hands.
"What?"
"I didn't like me." Your voice started to shake as you tried to find the right words to tell him the truth, the whole honest godforsaken truth, but you couldn't.
Bucky seemed to read your mind, "It's ok, take your time. We don't have to talk about this today. We can come back to it later, when you're feeling up for it, okay?" You nodded, burrowing further into him, "You wanna sleep?"
You nodded again, and Bucky shifted, wrapping his arms around you so he could gently place you down on the bed. He removed his arms from underneath you and tucked you into bed, gently kissing your forehead as you turned to leave. You whined.
"Pleasedon'tgoBuck-" You mumbled, sleep quickly pulling you under. He smiled, perching himself on the end of the bed.
"You sure you want me to say, sweetheart? Not sure you'll ever get rid of me if I stay?"
"I promise. Never want you to go." You said, clinging to his arm and pulling him back into bed.
You slipped into an easy slumber as Bucky shuffled around in your room. Maybe you didn't have to be on your own anymore.
fin.
buy me a coffee
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sungjinhos · 1 year ago
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IMPATIENT
✦ genre: friends with benefits, a dash of humor (?), reader is a bit of a brat and this has sub and dom undertones - smut
✦ word count: 3.040
✦ Thea note: okay first this was supposed to be a drabble for my girl @toruro so mika - i hope you enjoy it. second, I won't say anything bad about my own work but lately, i have been so busy and tired that writing is just harder than usual even when I have fun with it, i really like reader on this one so maybe we will see a pt 2 when my brain is not working at 25% of its capability - but I do hope y'all enjoy this even tho my brain is like fighting for dear life!!!
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Your mind was completely empty. 
Hoshi had been speaking for a solid thirty minutes and if somebody asked what was the problem you couldn’t say something because everything that left Hoshi’s mouth did reach your ear, but your brain didn’t process it, because you were too busy using all your cognitive function. The only thing you could focus on was how Minghao was laughing at something Jeonghan said - even tho you actually didn’t hear his giggle it was something that you knew so well that your brain made you believe that he was laughing right there - at your side, but more than that, it was on how a brunette girl who was actually on his side - eating everything up, laughing at everything, looking at Minghao in awe, that, that scene was what making your brain way too busy. 
"And then she was like super angry that I didn't text her I mean she said we should stop talking first-" Hoshi said and stared at you waiting for an answer.
"Yeah, that's sucks, I'm sorry," you say taking another sip of your beer, "you know what? Maybe you should talk to Jeonghan. He could totally talk to her about how you misunderstood everything," you say already trying to drag Soonyoung to the other side of the room. 
"Yo!” Hoshi’s eyes lit up, “That's- That's really nice advice,"
"Right, let's talk to him," You say interlocking your arms with Hoshi and finally dragging him across the room, not even feeling that sorry, but again, you were too curious, too focused, to actually care about Hoshi’s love problem. Hell, you had one of your own right in your point of view
"Jeonghan my guy!" Hoshi calls making everyone in that little circle pay attention to you two. 
"What is going on?" Minghao asks when you stop at his side, that side-eye he gives you when he knows - somehow - that you have been up to no good. 
"You ask me?" You try your best to bat your eyelashes at him, even tho you know he won’t eat it up. 
"You were the one planning everything," Minghao says.
“Planning?” The brunette girl asks, and she is cute, she seems nice, she is the epitome of the girl next door.
“Oh yeah, planning how Hoshi is gettin’ his girl back you see-” You start, trying your best to be your own version of the girl next door.
“Hey I need something to drink, be right back,” Minghao says and starts to drag you to the kitchen - oh, that was how Hoshi felt? Weird, Karma was acting super fast lately. 
“Wait I wasn't planning-” You try to argue, huffing, and almost stomping your feet, "I was listening to a good friend talk about his heartbreak, and you? What were you doing with miss brunette and Jeonghan?"
"Are you?" He says and you can see how the corners of his mouth start to lift up, the foreshow of a smile and you just can’t take it.
"Nope," you say, trying your best, but you know he already won. 
"You are!" He giggles - that silly giggle he always does, the giggle that you love to hear, the giggle that makes your heart full almost to the point it bursts. And you give up, because you know he knows, "Maybe? A little?"
"Sure, a little," Minghao says, crossing his arms and leaning on the kitchen counter, and god he looks so good, he is tired and you know that because he has his glasses on instead of his contacts, his hair is already huffed up and longer - you like that, and you like to think he didn’t show up on his monthly haircut because you said that to him the last time, 
"Can we-" you start and before you finish you can see his smile. 
"Sure, you go first or I go first?" He asks. You two made a routine of it, made an almost everyday practice, a little secret that you two shared, tucked in away os the curious eyes of everyone else. In a way, it was something sacred, cherished, something only you two could tap into.  
"To your room?" You ask even though you know it is the only place possible right now, Minghao just nods, "Okay I go first, but you should go talk to Hoshi, he is in actual distress I wasn’t planning that up"
"Sure," Minghao says, standing in front of you - he looks at the door before he holds your face and just plants his lips on yours. And before you can say anything he vanishes. 
Leaving you there, standing still in the middle of the kitchen.
It was weird the whole sneaking out to not get caught part of the deal. You and Minghao have been friends for so long that your friends were his friends, and his friends were your friends and the whole thing was just messy. And maybe you didn't want to share that with everyone - every new detail of Hao was yours. But you also didn’t want to share the tiptoeing in the shallow water phase. 
In a way you wanted to learn what that was, is, and will become on your own.
So you try your best to not draw any attention to yourself, the first step of the process pick yourself a cold beer - that's why you were in the kitchen. Step two, go to Minghao's room, not that much trouble. Step three is not to fall asleep in his bed, he does spend way too much money on bedsheets, it feels like you are lying in a cloud. Soft, fluffy, and slightly cold against your skin. 
And you are almost drifting until you hear the door open, and it is not Hao.
"Hey," Chan says, already rummaging around, opening Minghao's drawers, "Did you see a charger around? Someone took mine, for real people need to understand boundaries in this household."
"Don't you tell me," you say smiling at Chan, the irony of it. 
"Yeah I know," he huffs making you laugh, "but someone stole mine first," then he turns out you, his expression is almost a question mark, "Wait, are you okay? Why are you here?"
"Just a headache," you say trying your best to give an academy winner performance, lifting up your hand, touching your forehead and all.
"Oh yeah, do you need anything? I know this house is a mess but we do have painkillers," Chan says sincerely. 
"No, no, already took one, I'm good, thanks Channie," you say almost feeling bad to lie, almost being the keyword.
"Chan, what are you doing?" Minghao says resting his shoulder on the door. 
"Oh man," Chan says defeated, "I am doing nothing, and if your charger disappeared it wasn't me ok? Mine was stolen too,"
"I-" Minghao shakes his head, huffing up a bit while closing the door. 
"Lock it," you remark "or we will get Mingyu searching for a hair tie while your dick is in my mouth," You say taking off your own shirt, and already working on the button of your pants when Minghao's cold hands reach yours.
"Why are you always in a hurry," he says, his hands traveling to your shoulders, pressing you down until your back finds the mattress. 
"You do live with four other guys, so-" you say like it was common sense, because you know Minghao's roommates, they are your friends as well, and you know they are fucking nosy.
"No, you always like that," Minghao says, lowering his body against yours, "even when nobody is around," he says against your neck. 
"I'm not," you say, hands on the back of his neck, playing with his hair while his lips find the skin of your neck.
"You are," he says kissing your jaw, "you need to learn how to be patient."
"Yeah, whatever," you say almost rolling your eyes, tugging at Minghao's hair, "not today though." 
"Why not?" Minghao says, voice low like he is telling you a secret, while his digits trace the strap of your bra. 
"Because," you whine but Minghao is still working in slow motion, his lips tracing your collarbones, "today you gonna fuck me stupid, I can learn something tomorrow"
"I can fuck you stupid even if we do it slowly," Minghao giggles again, god and you almost hate him, his fingers finally tugging the strap enough, he gives your shoulder a kiss before tugging the cup of your bra. 
"And if I say please?" You say making Minghao stop on his track and you almost laugh before he looks at you.
"If you say what?"
"If I say pretty please can you fuck me stupid and like right now? You can totally teach me a lesson tomorrow or-" you say hands against Minghao's face and tugging him just enough until he understands what you want - him - pressed against you, his lips against yours, him against your hands, your mind is only filled with thoughts of him, him, him.
“Come on-” Minghao says, holding your head - making you whine a little when you try to follow him, trying to keep your lips connected, “say it”
“Oh no,” It’s your time to giggle, your smile plastered across your face, and it is so easy to be happy when Minghao's cold hands are against your waist when he is kneeling between your thighs, “You like it too much”
“And? What’s wrong with that?” he says dragging his hands over your body until reaches the waistband of your jeans, “If you ask prettily," Minghao pauses tugging at the belt loops, "you know I will give you everything you ask for”
"Promise?" You say, your own voice sounds different against your ears somehow, your hands holding Minghao's forearm. You can feel your cheeks burn, but just like Minghao, you are willing to give him everything he asks for. And he just nods, hands pressed against your thighs now. "Can you please just fuck me? I promise tomorrow you can tease me and take your precious time."
"Yeah, sure sweetheart," Minghao says smirking at you, it is so condescending that you want to stand up and pick a fight with him, but in the end he means it - he is already working on your jeans, hands dragging against your hips before he gets off the bed just to pull at the bottom hem. "but, just so you know, make sure you have a free afternoon tomorrow."
"Sure, sure, gonna timeblock you right after my dentist appointme-" you start but end up being cut off by your own welp of surprise because Minghao's hand finds your thigh and drags you across the bed.
"You are so smart-mouthed sometimes," he says again finding his place in the space between your thighs, and you just pout - not because of the quip, but because he is still fully dressed, "What?"
"You're still dressed," you say tugging at the hem of his shirt, and Minghao laughs again like you are saying the silliest thing in the world, but that doesn't take your mind away when he lowers his body to kiss you again. 
You try your best to keep your mind focused, still tugging Minghao's shirt, hands lifting the material off his back until it's pooling at his shoulders. When Minghao gets on his knee to finally take the damn thing off you follow him, lips against his chest, hands already on his jeans. 
"Come on," you complain, tugging at his jeans. 
"Ok, ok," Minghao huffs out before leaving the bed again, looking at you with a smirk on his face, "I'm taking it off don't need to pout," he says finally taking off those damn jeans but leaving on his underwear, "come on, your turn"
"Hun?" You say totally distracted, making Minghao giggle again, "Oh okay," you finally get what he means, taking off your own bra. 
"Fuck," Minghao says, before he is kissing you again, "you are so pretty, you should let me-"
"Baby you promised," you whine, because you know Minghao like the back of your hand. 
"You are the first one that hates the idea of me taking my time," Minghao says when his hands find your hips, tugging at your panties, making you lift your hips a little to help him, "I could totally eat you out right now,"
"I know," you whine, and it is true, he could eat you out, and you know he loves doing it. But Minghao is right, you do not have the patience, "tomorrow I let you go down on me for like forty-five minutes"
"You say like that is a hassle for you," Minghao says, hands against your knee, eyes on your pussy,  "or for me by the way"
"Oh for fuck sake," you try to close your legs even though Minghao’s hand is still on your knees, blocking your action. 
"Ok ok sh-" Minghao says, finally lowering his underwear, and for the first time you think about it. Think about learning how to be patient, to be calm, and composed, just so you can change your plans just to put Minghao’s dick in your mouth. Okay, maybe not calm and collected but less stubborn, but before you can say it all Minghao is just taking too long searching for the condom making you impatient again, but before you can complain he guides his dick to your pussy.
“This is insane,” you complain, Minghao hovering over you, his longer bangs over your face, making you ticklish. 
“What?” Minghao says against the skin of your neck, his voice sound muffled. His hand is still on your waist, his dick hot against your thigh. 
“You really want to make me beg?” You say tugging Minghao’s hair, “Is this a kink? Do we need to talk about this?” 
“I mean, I’m not really against a pretty girl begging for my dick,” Minghao says, making you shudder.
“Not gonna give you that,” you say - and it is not because you are stubborn, you are, and you know that, but with Minghao is just fun, the push and pull of it, the banter, this thing going on between the two off you. 
“You are so fucking stubborn,”
“Come on, I already said please,” You say pretending you are against the idea of begging Minghao - like you never did before. 
“Sure baby,” Minghao says giving you a kiss on your cheeks, and is just so sweet like he is not about to fuck you like he is not holding his dick against your pussy - rubbing himself against you, "Just because you said please", he says in that condescending tone, but before you can argue or raise your voice, Minghao is finally fucking you and the feel of his dick stretching you out is enough to make you speechless. 
And it was always like that, it always ended up with Minghao filling you up.
And you can't complain when he is fucking you the way he likes it - a lewd pace that makes your mind spin, it makes you claw Minghao's back, while his grip against your tightens. Maybe - you think to yourself - just maybe you try to hurry Minghao up to see if he caves up, to see if he has another side inside him, to see if he fucks you hard and fast makes you like him less, makes you less addicted to the feel of his skin against yours, the feel of his mouth against your neck. 
But he never complies. 
He keeps fucking you at his own pace, at his own volition. 
“Hao please,” you beg - because you are ready to give Minghao everything he wants if he gives you something in return. 
“Ah, so now we are not above begging?” Minghao chuckles, his voice so close to your ear that his lips graze your skin. 
“Please,” you try again “I will beg, I will do whatever you want I promise.” 
“Come on,” Minghao says, one of his hand trailing against your skin, until it reach your neck, “we both know you won’t, behaving is against your own existence” 
“You say that like you hate it”
“I actually love it, that’s the problem,” Minghao says, planting a kiss on your cheeks before he finally picks up his pace.
You understand Minghao really, sometimes you are too hastened. Is not like you are particularly against him taking his time, warming you up, eating you out, and fucking you at his own pace - you enjoy all that. But you also enjoy what he is doing now, fucking you fast and hard enough that you need to hold on for dear life.
You like this Minghao too - this version of him that nothing is holding him back. 
And the only thing in your mind is Minghao.
The only thing you can think about is him. How he feels against you, how Minghao licks your skin, how his hand clutches your hips, and how he is panting against your neck. When everything starts to get muffled you know that you are almost there - and the only thing you can do to muffle your own noises is to bite down Minghao's shoulder. 
And everything stands still for a minute.
“We need to stop sneaking out,” MInghao says panting above you, you look at him and how disheveled he looks, how his sweaty hair clings to his forehead. He always says that to you, how he always brings that up after sex, If he weren’t a non-believer you would say it was the Christian guilt kicking in after sex, but you know Minghao, and you know why he asks.
“Yeah, I think Chan is finally catching up that something is going on,” You say, your own smile plastered on your face when you hear his silly giggle. 
You look at Minghao again, he is sitting on the bed, back against you. probably dealing with his condom, and you try to bite your own tongue, you try to hold yourself back but the urge to say something is stronger than you, and to be honest when it is about pushing Minghao’s buttons you are not the strongest soldier “but first we are going to talk about your kink list sir," and Minghao silly giggle just turns into a disapproving growl. 
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yelenasdiary · 6 months ago
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OK OK OK I have a request go with me here. What about Florence with an insecure reader but she’s plus size she’s insecure about like sitting on Florence’s lap (and face 😗) so maybe like a fluffy smut or something idk I just haven’t been feeling to good about my body these days. You 100% don’t have to do this. Ok love you bye!!!!😘
Why Me?
Pairing: Florence Pugh x Plus Size! Reader
Summary: Flo helps you cope when your mind gets the better of you.
Angst, Fluff
Warnings: Body image issues, Mentions of Depression & Cyber Bullying| 1.3K
AC: I hope you enjoy this, I didn’t include any smut or suggestive themes as I simply do not do that when writing celebrity x reader so I hope what I have written is still somewhat what you were looking for x
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Dating a celebrity wasn't easy, especially when you never thought you were built for the spotlight of any kind. Birthdays were usually small just to keep the attention off you as much as possible and you never liked it much when people would make a fuss about your achievements. You were shy, but it was one of the many things Florence, your girlfriend, loved about you. 
Florence absolutely loves showing you off. At family events, she was always seen proudly holding your hand or having an arm wrapped around your waist. It took a long time for her to get you to say yes to attending a red-carpet event with her. Florence had this way of making you smile and laugh when you didn't know you needed it the most, it was like she was always one step ahead of your insecurities and thoughts. 
But not everything was rainbows and butterflies. The world can be cruel, not matter how big or small you are, people are always going to express their opinions and it was one of the biggest things that Florence quickly noticed that was affecting you. Whenever the paparazzi snapped photos of you and Florence hand in hand walking the streets of LA or the rare chance that caught you kissing in a busy café in London, there were always comments. 
Harsh and cruel comments directed mostly to you, comments on your body, weight and how people couldn't understand why Florence was with you. Most of the time you were able to avoid seeing them or ignored them whenever you did see them but being human, they got to you sometimes. You've struggled with thoughts about yourself for a while and it never helped when your depression would side with those thoughts. Florence hated the comments, and she would know when you had read some. 
"What's on your mind darling?" Florence's raspy voice brought your attention back to earth as you looked up from the plate of food in front of you. "Huh? Oh, sorry" you quickly collected yourself, "I'm just a little tired, I think I might be coming down with something" you added. Florence tilted her head slightly to the right, "don't give me that" she said knowing you weren't being truthful with her. 
You sighed, placing the silver fork beside the plate of untouched food, you knew there was no hope in lying to her. She studied your body language while you racked your brain to form the words you wanted to say but not wanting to upset your girlfriend. "I guess, I just" you started, avoiding eye contact with the blonde knowing full well that if you looked into her big green eyes that the tears you felt trying their best to build would break. Florence reached over the table and gently placed her hand on top of your left, "it's okay baby, take your time" she assured you. 
A moment of silence was shared between the two of you before you finally broke it and spoke the thoughts that had been circling your mind for the last few days. "Why me?" You asked, "I mean, you could have anybody in the world, I mean that literally. You could have somebody who isn't….well…. me" you spoke, your eyes dropping to your lap. 
Florence rose from her seat and walked over to you and kneeled, taking your hands into hers. "Look at me darling, please" she spoke. Slowly, you lifted your head up, looking at her with tears building up, "where is this coming from?" She asked, her thumbs brushing gently over your knuckles. A tear streamed down your right cheek when you saw nothing but love and concern from your partner, "I guess" you paused for a moment, "I feel so ugly" you said, "sometimes I think everybody is right, you can do a lot better than me" you added as more tears streamed down your cheeks. 
Without hesitation, Florence stood up and wrapped her arms around you, pulling you close to her and placing a kiss on the top of your head. "Oh darling" she said softly. She didn't need to know how this all started, she noticed recently how you were slowly hiding yourself away from those around you, avoiding going out to lunch with Florence, afraid of what more people would say. She hated it so much that people could be so cruel and not think about what their words could do to another human. She gently rubbed your back, letting you break down in her arms. You were tired and she knew that. 
She kneeled down in front of you again, wiping the tears from your cheeks, "I don't want anybody else, I don't need anybody else" she assured you, "You don't see yourself the way I see you, all those strangers don't see you the way I see you, they don't see the beautiful soul that makes my day better every morning, they don't see how hard working you are. You care so, so much about every single person around you, you make sure that everybody feels seen and included and it's something I love about you, but it also makes me wonder why you don't treat yourself with the same kindness. 
You are the most beautiful person I have ever met; I am so lucky that you picked me. I am so lucky to love you. I love that I get to wake up next to you every morning and coming home to you is all I look forward to each day. Darling, nobody is perfect but you are perfect to me and I know that sounds cliché but I wouldn't have you any other way. I just want you to be happy" she said, ever breaking eye contact with you. She brushed a lock of hair behind your ear, "how about this weekend you and I take a trip, wherever you want to go. We'll take some time away from everything and just enjoy our time" she suggested. 
You nodded, loving the idea of not having to worry about your insecurities. Although they didn't go away completely but Florence always had a magic way of making you forget about them. 
----
The sun kissed the top of the lake that you looked over, sitting on Florence's lap while she traced random shapes and patterns on your back. Like the sun, her presence and comfort brought a sense of warmth to you. Nothing else mattered in this moment but spending it with the one person you loved and adored so much. The weekend had only started, you and Florence had booked out a lake house for the weekend to enjoy, arriving in the early hours of the morning Florence still was able to cook up an amazing breakfast which the two of you enjoyed on the porch overlooking the lake. 
"It's so beautiful here" you commented as your eyes traced over the mountains that overlooked the lake. Florence smiled softly, "it is, isn't it" she replied. Although she didn't care much for the view of the lake but more the soft smile that you wore proudly. She placed a kiss on your cheek which only made you blush at her unexpected affection. 
"Thank you" you said as you looked over your shoulder at Florence, "I'm sorry that my mind gets the better of me sometimes" you added. 
"Oh darling, you don't need to apologise nor thank me" she smiled before leaning up and kissing your lips gently, "just promise me that when you start to feel down again, you talk to me. I am always here for you, my love. I'd drop everything just to see you smile, never forget that" she added before you kissed her once more, smiling against her lips before you pulled away. 
"I love you" you whispered to her.
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dira333 · 8 months ago
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The sky is everywhere - Hawks x reader
A/N: requested by @misfit-megumi - Prompts are: "the sky is everywhere" and "I'm tired of love songs"
Warning: heavy angst to somewhat fluff. I just let my brain take the wheel
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“I′m so tired of love songs, tired of love songs, tired of love songs, tired of love…” You’re swaying a little as you sing, almost miss your mouth when you bring the bottle of wine back up to your lips. 
To call the last few months “rough” would have been an understatement. 
Something in you is begging you to go home, but that place doesn’t exist anymore.
Your formerly shared apartment feels more like a trap now. You don’t want to be in there, yet you just can’t move out. 
“Hey,” your friend’s grip is soft, cautious. Like you’re one of those hurt animals that might lash out. She thought it would be a good idea to party, try and meet somebody new. But two months is not nearly enough time to forget about someone you loved so deeply.
“Do you want me to take you home?”
“I’m fine,” you argue, but you both know that’s a lie. You haven’t been fine in weeks. Not since…
“Can we do some shots?” You ask, dreading the moment you have to leave this place and face reality yet again. If you get hammered enough… maybe it will buy you some time.
They say Grief comes in stages. If that’s true, you’re still stuck in denial.
-
There is no place on earth where you’re free of the memories.
Even when all the blinds are closed and you’re lying in the dark, you can clearly see the twinkle in Keigo’s eyes. Hear him whistling low at your sight. Feel the caress of a single feather.
He left a few months ago. 
It wasn’t the first time he had to leave for an undercover mission. Not the first time he didn’t give you any information. 
“You’re too clever for your own good,” he said often, kissing your temple when you connected the dots yourself, came up to him with what you thought he was going to get into. You had been right every time.
So you knew to be scared when he packed his things this time.
Because he was going to infiltrate the League of Villains. 
“You should stop doing that,” he said, but there was no twinkle in his eye when he said it. He sounded tired, resigned to his fate. It should have been a warning.
You should have locked yourself in the spare bedroom, put your hands over your ears, and pretended you didn’t hear him.
But you didn’t. And he broke up with you.
Two days later he went officially missing. Some think he’s dead.
You don’t know what would hurt less.
-
The light is hurting your eyes. 
You close them and sink back into the pillows, no more willing to face the day than you have been yesterday.
The air is heavy with the smell of sweat and alcohol. If only you could fall back asleep but now that you’re awake, all the noises seem to increase by a tenfold. The clock is ticking so loud it feels like your head is vibrating. Someone in the apartment above you is showering and the water trickling down sounds like rainfall. Then there’s the smacking sound of your fridge door being closed-
Your eyes fly open but you blink against the pain as you try and regain your memories.
Did you bring someone home last night?
You wouldn’t, right?!
But there’s someone in your apartment, footsteps coming closer and closer.
You grab your pillow and push yourself up, the room spinning. The blinds are only partially open, leaving the doorway in the shadow. But what you can see is black and glistening, like leather-
Your scream cuts through the silence like the pillow soaring through the air. 
Your invader catches it with ease. When he lowers it and steps into the room, your breath catches in your throat.
You know those eyes.
“Keigo?” You ask, your voice scratchy. He’s wearing a black mask that covers almost all of his face. Bandages cover the rest of his head, but some of his hair is still peaking through, confirming your guess.
He nods slowly and drops the pillow to the floor. In his right hand is a bottle of water.
You want to ask, yell, beg him to stay… but all you can do is lean forward and empty your stomach.
-
It’s unnatural for Keigo to be this quiet.
It’s unnatural for you to be the same.
But if this is a fever dream, you don’t want to end it with your words.
Wordlessly he cleans the floor. Wordlessly he urges you to drink water and take the painkiller he found in the kitchen cabinet. 
Wordlessly he slips into bed with you and holds you, and you pretend that everything is okay.
It hurts even more when you wake up a second time and he’s gone yet again.
-
When he returns, almost a week later, after a press conference that shook the world, he’s no longer wearing the mask. His face is scared and the room painfully empty of his wings, his presence. He seems to have shrunken in on himself.
“You’re too clever for your own good,” he tells you, feet planted on your doorstep. You step aside to let him in, hoping that he will. He does. 
Neither of you talks about the topic at hand. To someone who doesn’t know your history, it might look like nothing ever happened. You cook dinner together, your hand raised to stop him from stealing the noodles out of the pot, plucking the chicken out of the pan before you can serve the food. You sink into him whenever he’s close, but neither of you addresses the question that needs to be asked.
At least until the dishes are done and the kitchen is clean and your body heavily sinks into the mattress, your heart longing for him to stay near.
“Would you take me back?” He whispers, quiet enough that you might have missed it, had you not been waiting for it.
“Would you?”
He shakes his head. You can feel the motion where his chin dishevels your hair. 
But isn’t that why the two of you have always been so great together? Because you do what he wouldn’t and he does what you never will?
Your hands find his arms, take hold of him in the only way you can. 
“If you ever break up with me again, I will make you regret it,” you say, though it’s an empty threat. He chuckles, but it doesn’t sound amused.
“You already did.”
-
You’ve always been too clever for your own good.
Does it soothe the hurt to know he only broke up with you to keep you safe? No.
But it makes it easier to take him back.
One day, hopefully, he will realize that you’re safest when you’re with him.
But until then, you will try your best to hold him close.
My Kofi if you want to tip me
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miaoua3 · 1 month ago
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Hi! I have been stalking your page for a while now and I love it! Could I please request a hc of husband Junhui, he's my bias and the sweetest cutie pie
hii! i'm so glad that you like my page! and ofc you can, i've been waiting for somebody to request something for my junnie, so i hope that you enjoy this!
Husband!Jun Headcanons:
•(sfw! hcs):
so very clingy in the morning, he won’t let you out of his arms, his arms are glued around your waist while he's hugging you from behind, his face buried in your neck, probably nuzzling his face on your skin every so often, he's just so cute and such a cuddle bug that you let him get away with it (no matter how badly you need to go to the bathroom lol)
if it happens that he's awake before you, he will most definitely make you breakfast in bed, he always feels like he isn't doing enough for you so this is one of the ways to repay you for everything that you do for him
he's always texting you, like no matter where he is or what he's doing, he always has a few seconds to spare to text you back and to remind you when he will be back and to ask if you need anything from the store, as well as to remind you that he loves you
if you ever thought that this man is anything other than the small spoon while cuddling, think again. there's no better feeling for him than burying his face in your titties, your soft fingers playing with his silky hair while his arms are wrapped around you, your soft voice talking in his ear either about your day or simply little words of encouragement to him. for him, home isn't necessarily the apartment you two live in, it's your arms and your heart
your bed is filled with plushies thanks to your dear husband. god forbid that you let him go shopping alone, he will be back with like 5 huge cat plushies (that he already named without you (which like, rude)). he just loves plushies, especially the ones that remind him of you two (he's such a cutie i love him)
you two rarely fight because if you two do end up fighting, he will 100% end up crying and let me tell you- the sight of jun crying while hiding in the bathroom because he didn't want you to see him how much your words affected him is probably the most heart-breaking thing you have ever witness, so now you two always try to talk it out
while he is quiet for the most part, whenever he's with you he lets loose and can't seem to shut up lol, he can talk with you for hours to no end, be that your conversations are light-hearted or more on the serious side. he has never had somebody who understood him on such a deep level like you do so he always feels so free to talk to you because he knows that you would never judge him
•(nsfw! hcs):
his favourite position to fuck you in is when you're both laying on your sides, your hubby from behind, holding your leg upwards, his lips and teeth glued to the back of your neck, biting and sucki8ng hickeys onto your skin. it just feels so good, plus sometimes he's just so tired that he can't even hold his own weight but he still wants to feel your tight pussy clenching around him so this is a great alternative. and if there's a mirror in front of you that he can see your face in? well you won't hear him complain
speaking of mirrors- he in general likes fucking you in front of one regularly. just something about bending you in front of him, your hands pressing into the cold glass, his own hand wrapped around your neck, his eyes looking deeply into your own from behind, his soft lips moaning into your own ear-it all just gets him going
i see that a lot of people see him as a sub, but tbh i don't see it at all, maybe a switch at best. i feel like a lot of people see him as this fragile and soft man, and i think that could affect how he views himself too. so i feel like he would want to show you just how strong he is through his actions in the bedroom. but trying to reassure him that he can be whoever he wants to be with you could probably help him relax and let you take the rains every so often during the sexy times. but i truly believe he leans more on the dom side
he is a titties lover first, a man second. he just loves your tits so much, he could spend literal hours just sucking on them, just imagine-him laying between your legs, his eyes closed in peace as he's sucking on your nipples and the skin around it, leaving a hickey or two every so often while his hand plays with your other one, your hands softly playing with his hair as you moan- yeah, he is the happiest man ever whenever you let him do this
not a very big talker during the deed, but a VERY big and enthusiastic moaner. he can't even control it, your pussy just feels so good wrapped around his big cock, pulsating around him as he's rocking into you, and it's just so warm and tight- how can he not moan in your ear when you feel so god?
is very much so into light food play, nothing too much, just leaving a bit of whipped cream on your titties and stomach, maybe a bit right above your pussy but nowhere close to it (he doesn't want you getting an UTI because of his kink) and just licking it away while he's worshiping your body is enough to satisfy his urge
very much a big enjoyer of a good ol' 69. there's just something about having you basically sit on his face, his lips locked around your own heat while your own struggle to take his cock all the way in. it's just so good, him struggling to eat you out properly and give you just as much pleasure as you're giving him-yeah, he loves it lol
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lookingforuravity · 14 days ago
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the man who can't be moved
shoto todoroki x gn!reader
word count: 914
IN WHICH you and shoto's unspoken feelings come to light.
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it seemed to always be the same story for you. no matter how many times you tried at love, you always seemed to fail. it was a repetitive cycle whenever you thought you had interest in somebody. there was a small moment of ecstasy at first, but then as it progressed, you felt repulsed, like you were meant to be with someone else rather than the person who was actually in front of you.
maybe it was your head messing with you. maybe you just weren't cut out for love. or maybe it was the effect that shoto had on you. your best friend that you'd be in love with for years and the same boy who was seated right next to you.
the two of you were engulfed in silence as the moonlight dazed upon you at U.A’s rooftop. it wasn't an awkward silence, surprisingly no, it was comforting. no words needed to be shared, but the way you and shoto's legs pressed against each other without the other pulling away was enough said. the clock currently struck midnight, way past the curfew aizawa had set for the students, but it didn’t matter to the both of you.
you don't know when you fell for him, or how, all you knew was that you fell and fell hard. it was the type of love that made your brain fuzzy and made you blank out whenever you're near him. the dangerous kind of love.
moving on would be easier than confessing, you always thought to yourself. but you never realized how his gaze would stay on you for seconds too long.
“are you… okay?” his voice cut through the silence. shoto has never been one for comforting, but if it was for the one that he loved, he'd do it a thousand times and more. you turned to face him as his eyes searched yours for any sign of pain. but for some reason, you didn't feel any pain, which is weird for someone who just got stood up. you didn't feel anything about it. you couldn't tell if it was relief, disappointment, or a mixture of both.
you shrugged carelessly as you turned back to gaze up at the sky. “just another failed date. i'm okay though, i swear.” you replied, failing to mask the uncertainty. for once, you just wanted at least *one* date to work out. one date where you could detach from the small amount of hope you held that shoto could possibly reciprocate your feelings.
“they have no idea what they're missing,” he muttered, his eyes leaving yours and facing his hands as he fiddled with his fingers. he felt your eyes stuck on the side of his face as he nervously attempted to avoid eye contact. “you're too good for them.”
you chucked awkwardly at his words, thinking that you were misinterpreting what he was trying to say. “maybe i'm just not cut out for this whole… dating thing.” you desperately wanted him to mean what you were thinking. you started to feel that same flicker of hope you got every time you'd get asked out on a date, but this time it was like an unstoppable wildfire.
“… i like you.”
his confession hung cold in the air, and you felt your breath catch in your throat.
“what?"
he turned his head to finally face you. his face playing a rare display of expressions, contrasting his usual stoic demeanor. “i can't be just friends with you anymore. seeing you go out with all these people frustrates me.”
all the ‘what ifs’ you stacked in your brain for years washed away. it made you feel euphoric, it had your mind spinning like a ballerina. you took your hands and pressed them against his slightly rosy cheeks. “you're serious?” you asked. he nodded, his eyes searching in yours trying to find any sign of reciprocation.
“i've liked you too… for so long,” you finally admitted. getting it off your chest felt like a breath of fresh air, all of the tension escaped from your body. “i didn't want to go on a date with all of those other people. i just wanted to get over you.”
shoto sighed and shook his head. “i couldn't tell you how much i hated it. i'm tired of sitting here and watching other people have you.”
he caressed your hair, your heart swelled at his words and actions. “let's start again,” he proposed. “no more hiding.”
you nodded as you agreed with him, gently clasping your hand on his. “i'd love that.
his lips slightly curved up, his fingers gently brushed against your cheek as he lost himself in your eyes. the shine of the moonlight and the stars was only making it harder for him to peep his eyes off of you. it made you ten times more beautiful than he already thought you were.
“can i kiss you now?” shoto asked, his tone unwavering.
you laughed at his blunt statement before nodding. “please.”
his kiss was tender, filled with all of the unspoken both of you never said. a shiver ran down both of your spines at the softness of each other's lips. his hands slowly traced down from your face to your waist, pulling you closer to his body. shoto waited for so long to have you. even if today wasn't the day, he'd wait a thousand more just to call you his.
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©lookingforuravity 2024 | please do not copy, translate, or repost my work onto other
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adventuringblind · 1 year ago
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I didn't know if you take requests but I have been thinking about this for a while. You are Scotty James younger sister and you meet Daniel while they are hanging out and you both like eachother and him and Chloe set you up. At first Scotty didn't agree but Chloe showed him that both of them are actually in love. I'm kinda seeing this with something with age gap, about 8 years (sorry if the grammar is not right, English is not my first language and I'm very tired because of school and stuff)
Atermoiememts
Genre: Fluff, Spice
Summary: Daniel is pining after his best friends younger sister. Drunken confessions lead to a black eye.
Warnings: drinking, sexual innuendo, and references, alluded to smut, Scotty throws hands
Notes: Sorry I haven't posted in a few days! I've been working on my master list, and I've had work and school to attend to. I can't believe I posted first daily since mid-July, and now I've finally slowed down. I'm so sorry for requests taking longer!!
Masterlist
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Scotty James. Professional Snowboarder and protective older brother. Well, protective isn't the word he would use. Maybe loving? A wall between his sister and men who have poor intentions?
Chloe loves his sister. She is great friends with Lance. She gets along great with Daniel, his best friend, maybe better then he would like at times, but it's whatever.
She's the one who drags Scotty to more then half of the F1 races. Given he has time. She's obsessed.
Yet, Scotty can't help but think it's because of somebody specific on the grid. He's yet to figure out who. Max? Charles? She gets along with them well enough.
She spends to much time clinging to Daniel that it is probably scaring away the boys she actually likes! Not that Daniel is intimidating or anything. The guys smile is infectious. But it probably doesn't help her at all with getting the attention of the drivers her age.
~~~~~
Y/N James. Professional F1 enthusiasts. Sister to Scotty James. Annoying younger siblings to him but shy to everybody else.
She would like to add girlfriend of Daniel Ricciardo in there somewhere, but the backlash from her brother keeps her from saying anything. Plus, she's probably to young for him. A nine year age gap maybe isn't his thing. But he could help her out a but and stop flirting with her.
She knows it's teasing. It's sarcastic like with all of his friends. It's not like she's special or anything.
Her reason for wallowing in her thoughts? Chloe had just made her a third drink. The two are sitting on the couch in her and Scotty’s hotel room post qualifying. Daniel had a good session, so him and Scotty are out having mocktails.
"I see the way you look at him." Chloe wiggles her eyebrows suggestivley. Her legs are crossed on the sofa and she continues to take small sips of whatever she's drinking.
"And how would that be?"
"Like you love him."
The younger James eyes her suspiciously. How could have possibly outed her by just watching? Is she really that obvious?
"So what if I do? Not like anything is gonna happen." She shrugs.
"But he likes you too? I see it. His flirting is different with you."
"What? That fact he can and will describe in detail what he would do to me?"
"Don't lie!" Chloe shouts and playfully hits the younger on the shoulder. "You totally like it."
She can feel her face heating up but the alcohol has made her filter disappear.
"He really could do whatever to me. I'd let him."
"What if he wants you to call him daddy?" Chloe starts cracking up laughing.
"... I would."
~~~~~
Daniel Ricciardo. Formula 1 driver. Lover of Texas. The honey badger himself. Cannot for the life of him fix this stupid crush on Scotty’s younger sister.
He personally doesn't care about what the media has to say. But he does care about her and the backlash she would get. He'd hate to see her hurt just because he couldn't keep his feelings to himself.
And it really doesn't help that Chloe has been trying to get them together for weeks now. Months even. It's driving him insane. How is he supposed to keep up his playful flirting at this rate?
She's been shoving them onto awkward scenarios and leaving them alone together (much to Scotty’s dismay). Scotty picked up on something after the fifth encounter like that.
"Do you even like her like that?" He'd said while that ate dinner. It was just the two of them and Chloe.
"He definitely does!"
"I really don't want to talk about it anymore."
"Chloe, my sister would be into guys her age."
"And if her and Daniel did get together?"
"Then I owe you a date for being right and I'd punch Daniel."
The conversation left Daniel feeling both relieved and terrified. Scotty had made a valuable point, though. She's around the same age as Max and Charles. Two good-looking and kind men who he trusts. It wouldn't shock him if she went after one of them instead.
But if that's the case, why has she spent the entire night dancing with him? The music is blaring, and their cheeks are pink from the alcohol. Yet the feeling of her hips up against hasn't left since they got here.
His impulse control is lacking, and he doesn't know he's doing it until after. Doesn't know what he's implied or how she'll respond.
"Do you wanna get out of here?"
He mentally slaps himself for asking such a thing, but it's too late now. He can't take it back.
"That sounds nice."
And oh, how he melts. Her smile is his everything. Though with her reply, his is definitely bigger.
Daniel drags her back to his hotel room. Is a flurry of pent of emotions. Hands and lips explore to the point where their driver is probably annoyed.
In the hotel room isn't any better and they are both definitely under the influence.
"Maybe we shouldn't-"
"When was your last drink?"
Daniel thinks back. Already straddled over the top "two hours ago I think?"
"Same, i stopped when you did. So please don't think to hard about this. If I only get to do this once then I want to enjoy every damn second of it."
Something between love, adoration, and confusion passes through him. "What do you mean by that?"
"This is a one night stand, no?"
"It doesn't have to be."
"Not sure my brother would like me having a friends with benefits type of deal with his best friend." Her eyebrow quirks up in the lamplight.
"Fuck that's - that's not what I mean." Curse his lack of filter for heat he's about to say. "I love you. I have for so long but I didn't want to say anything."
She freezes, likely due to the shock of the statement. "I love you too, also for awhile now."
Yeah - every ounce of restraint he had before is gone. Clothes are shed in record time. He doesn't hold not one damj thing back.
"Let me show you how much I adore you."
~~~~~
To say Scotty is staring at Chloe is an understatement. He's glaring at her. "I've been played."
"Do you wanna go punch him now?"
It's eight in the morning and Scotty is throwing off the covers and marching to the door of their room. Sharing a wall with Daniel definitely wasn't the best idea.
He knocks aggressively. "Daniel! Open up!"
There's a bit of shuffling then the door swings open to reveal a sleepy eyed Australian. His eyes get wide when he realizes who it is.
"Look Daniel, I know you'll take good care of her. You're a good friend and a better boyfriend. But I swear to you if you ever hurt her I will not hesitate to knock your teeth out."
Daniel's shoulders sag in relief. His body relaxs. His sister standing in the entry way also does.
Then scotty swings.
But hey! If one black eye is all it takes to convince Scotty not to stalk Daniel's every step to protect his sister, then he'll take it.
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squerlly · 8 months ago
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flames of desire chapter 4: I'm creepy?...
Alastor x (f! bunny reader)
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your POV:
back at the hotel, I went straight to my room, putting all of my clothes that angel bought for me in there drawers and hangers. angel said that there weren't any shoes that work for my paws so he said to try and wear toeless socks....there comfortable but I just have to be carful were I step. walking to the lobby I decided to grab a drink, sitting on the stool "what do you want kid?" "nothing strong" sliding the drink over to me I decide to ask about what happened earlier "hay husk right..." "yeah?" "do you know who valentino is?", setting down the glass he was cleaning he turns "hes an overlord, part of the Vees ...owns a strip club angel works at" well that explains it "what's an overlord?" "you ask to many damn questions kid" "sorry...just asking since I'm still getting used to the permeant damnation thing..." "overlords are powerful demons, ranked by there power over others. humans deal in favors and money, but down here...you deal in souls. and fuckers like radio face abuse that power" radio face? that's new "you mean Alastor? "yeah kid, hes an overlord, haven't you ever seen those posters outside?" now that I think about it, no...I haven't but that would explain his whole dark and twistedness "is that why hes so creepy.." "I'm creepy?...", whipping my head around my heart feels like it just fell out of my ass "oh how you wound me dear, tell me what makes me so creepy hmm..." "well I- no I didn't mean- how long have you been standing there..." "well I heard my name and couldn't help but listen, tell me what is it that has peeked your interest in me?", "w-well husk was telling me about overlords and that you were uhm-...one" "ah yes my dear, husker is correct!, what brought up such a subject?" "oh well... me and angel ran into this Valentino guy and when I asked angel he looked so scared..." "hmm well if he works for valentino, then there's a high chance he made a contract" "contract?" "yes, a contract for his soul~" of course, a contract or a deal for a soul "husk also said something about the Vees who are they?" hearing loud static I look up, Alastors smile was tight and his expression was that of irritation, the static getting louder "oh nobody important..." "oookk..." I'm not gonna pry into that anymore, I like my second life...sorta.
Alastors POV:
so our little bunny got into some trouble with the Vees? and it seems valentino has caught interest in her, I cant have that... "tell me dear what did valentino say to you?" "hmm he asked me if I wanted to work for him, said he could make me rich or something like that" oh Valentino, how does one fine joy in taking advantage of young women, maybe he has an animal fetish or something, for once that makes my skin crawl "and what did you say?" "I told him no naturally, the guy has no boundaries, and from the way he treated angel I don't think I would want to work for somebody like him" hmm smart girl~ "well its good to know your alright!" wouldn't want my toy to be broken before iv played with it first... "i just hope angel is ok" "you need not worry about angel, I'm sure hes doing just fine dear, you shouldn't get involved" especially with the likes of such nasty people like valentino, how dare he attempt to steal my plaything, I guess ill have to show him that I don't like sharing.
your POV:
chatting with Alastor and husk I feel a bit tired, probably had one to many refills of my drink, iv always been a light weight... "its getting a bit late, I think I'm gonna head to bed now" husk takes my half empty glass as I stand from the stool "well goodnight my dear, sweet dreams~..."
I had writers block for like 30min because I just felt like adding a whole extra part for Alastor and it nearly killed me!!! but anyways I love you guys and please enjoy this chapter stay tuned~
-squerlly
@pooplyface1423 @strippezzz
for more stories and more chapters please click this masterlist
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spidrzfall · 3 months ago
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I'm Not Her. ⤑ Peter Parker.
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Hello Everyone to my very first post !! oh my gosh, im literally so nervous about uploading this, but here it is, i hope you guys enjoy it and love it! feel free to comment if you guys want a part 2, lol! Love you guys, and i hope you enjoy !!
☆° Peter Parker x Male Reader
☆°• ANGST !
°•▪︎ Fem readers DNI ♡♡
♧ warnings: None ♧
♡ NOTES: GWEN IS NOT DEAD IN THIS FIC ! HER AND PETER JUST HAD A FALL OUT AND ARENT DATING ANYMORE ♡
Part two :
Good Ending: Click me! Bad Ending: Click me!
┏ •◦இ•◦ ┓
Peter didn’t know what he was doing, it was all subconscious for him. It’s been a year since Peter and (M/N) got together, at first everything was just ideal; they hit off for a couple of weeks of going on dates, having mutual interests and mutual likings. They had a good relationship, except for when it all took a turn for the worst. It was strange for Peter to start being off out of nowhere, maybe something had happened regardless of what it was (M/N) hated it, he was patient enough, at first thinking Peter just made a slip up but for it to happen every other minute it was infuriating
“Gwen would’ve loved this place” Peter said aloud, interrupting (M/N) mid conversation on their date to a brand-new restaurant that had opened in their area. (M/N) scowled, cursing in his mind ‘here we go again’ as the man put a somewhat tired smile up trying not to cause a scene and finally call Peter out on his little comments. “Yeah, I’m sure she would've loved it here” (M/N) replied, his voice laced with tiredness and slight annoyance. This was the 3rd time in the whole day Peter was talking about his ex-girlfriend, Gwen. Nevertheless (M/N) had to make the most of tonight, he wasn’t going to let comments like those get to him and his relationship with the brunette, afterall Peter loved him, right?
The night progressed, they ate dinner together (M/N) really trying to hold down a conversation for them both to enjoy only for Peter to not get the gist and go back to talking about Gwen. “I still don’t know why you bothered to order the steak; you know Gwen would’ve ordered salmon. It looked good on the menu and immediately thought about her.” Peter pointed out as (M/N) took a bite out his steak, a smile once plastered onto his lips before frowning. “Well, It’s a good thing I’m not Gwen.” (M/N) mumbled, already tired of Peter’s jabs. “What’s that supposed to mean?” Peter blankly looked at his boyfriend, as he set his fork down on his plate seeing as the man across from him had a tired expression. – “It means I’m not Gwen and I have my own likes, Peter” the other exclaimed as he put his fork down as well his eyes meeting the same old brown doe eyes who once looked at him with love now staring at him with nothing.
“I know you’re your own person. (M/N)”
“Then why do you keep bringing her up”
“I’m not. You make it seem like I’m mentioning her every 3 seconds when all I did was make two comments the whole night.” Peter retorted as he crossed his arms, blinded by his own ego to admit his faults. “Are you serious? It’s not just about today, Pete. It’s about every other day! You always bring her up, it’s always Gwen this! Gwen that!” – “That's far from true” – “is it?” silence filled their small booth, that uncomfortable silence until a small mutter evaporated the tension.
“Gwen wouldn’t have started a fight.”
That shattered something in (M/N), “Well maybe you should’ve asked her out instead of me!” (M/N) replied, wanting to sound normal but his voice faltering as it slightly cracked in between sentences. “Well maybe I should’ve!” Peter snapped back “At least then I wouldn't have to pretend to love somebody I don't!” Shit. It all hit Peter so fast as soon as the words left his mouth, he felt ill and sick to his stomach, his regrets crawling on his skin as he saw the other man's eyes lose their spark..their shine. 
“Wait (M/N) – I didn’t mean that I swear it was just the heat of the moment. I promise I love you; I always have but these past few weeks have been stressful between work and Spider-Man” Peter tried to explain the slip up, but it was too late. (M/N) wasn’t taking it as Peter's heart shattered seeing the other’s eyes coat that pinkish color as tears escaped his eyes, Peter's own starting to form tears as well. “(M/N)...”
“Save it, Peter…I think you’ve cleared things up plenty” (M/N) whispered his voice broken as the man got up his seat and left, leaving Peter behind at the booth alone to think about what had just happened. 
┗ •◦இ•◦ ┛
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hotchfiles · 10 months ago
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can i request prompt 14 and 17 with remus!? Maybe the third person is james in both cases?
Would be awesome if you could include both the prompts in the same
<3
send me one of my boys + a prompt
remus + reader ⋆ "can you both just kiss and make up—" both of you: JAMES— + almost kissing. but somebody walks in. "HOLY FUCK, ABOUT TIME THIS HAPPENS! I'M SO SORRY, PLEASE CONTINUE—"
you both weren't on speaking terms for almost two weeks now, thirteen days. even during breaks from hogwarts you two wouldn't go as long without as much as a letter. but there you were, sat in the same room, avoiding each other's gaze as much as humanly possible, talking to everyone else besides each other.
of course, of course, remus was the one to start it, he was the one to avoid you like the bloody plague after making out with you at a gryffindor party. you tried looking for him, talking to him, confessing, and the boys would always cover for him, he's not here, dunno where he went. and what were you if not the pettiest fifth year hogwarts has ever had? you could avoid him too, better, you could simply not talk to him at all. not a hello, not a good night. if he couldn't face you to reject you properly, you wouldn't face him at all.
it was getting ridiculous, it was messing up the whole group dynamics, lily and james had to switch desk mates to acommodate your resolve, lily sitting with remus as she felt you would go as far as isolate yourself from all the boys if it meant getting your point made, so she wouldn't give you the chance to, james would be your desk mate. to you, not that big of a problem (but oh, james was a talker, was he always? did he ever shut up?).
as the minutes passed and you kept quiet, sleepiness took over, the fireplace warm, the voices of your friends bringing a sense of home and security, you lay flat on the comfortable rug, your arm going to your eyes to block the light, no one says anything, it's something you're used to do.
you're not sure how much time has passed since you dozed off, it could be minutes or hours, but you were awaken to muffling sounds and one particular voice you knew being raised above it.
"she's the one not talking to me, why're you ganging up on me!?" your eyes opened immediately as your upper body flew up, eyebrows close in a frown as you glanced over remus.
"i'm not talking to you!? now you're blaming me!?" your tone made every sound disappear, only breathing being heard from everyone in the common room. you can see other students outside of your little friend group shuffle around getting their things to leave what seemed to be the beginning of a fight.
remus doesn't even bother to answer, shrugging it off as if it was an obvious thing, that you were the one making things harder and weird. you curl both your hands into fists, trying to keep your cool, "you vanished, avoided me and asked the three moronic musketeers to cover for you." gasps come from the other marauders at the offense, remus opens his mouth to reply, nothing comes out. he didn't think it was that obvious, he had been thinking you were ignoring him.
"my dudes, just, can you just kiss and make up—" james proves that no, he indeed doesn't ever shut up, earning the most genuine yell of his name coming from both you and remus.
your mood and your body softens as you glance over remus for the first time in days, actually taking him in, he looked tired as always, but his eyes were glued on you, sweet, yearning. lily is quick to notice the switch, pushing all the boys outside so you two could talk.
the two of you stay silent, but remus takes it on himself to make the first move and try to fix what apparently he was the one to break in the first place. he gets up from where he is, getting closer to you as your heart beat like it hadn't done that the past two weeks. he offers his hand and pulls you up, not hugging, not touching more than the hold on your hand.
but he's so close you can hear his heart, his breathing, his scent is manly and sweet and you're drowning in him, your eyes glued to his as you try not to sink. "i thought you'd want to forget it." it being the several minutes his hands roamed your body as your lips didn't leave his. or the way his hands gripped on your waist to dear life, almost scared you would disappear in thin air. you take one step closer, but you don't reply, in case he has more to say, and he always does, he's an over explainer by heart. "you were—hammered. i needed time to deal with that."
why couldn't he just ask. why did he just assume you were only kissing him because you were too drunk? the question comes quick and the answer is in his eyes so evidently it makes your heart bleed. because he's insecure and thinks that little of himself. your hands pull his collar without thinking, the desire to show him how silly that was, and his hands find balance in your waist not to fall over you.
it's happening again, your lips are about to touch, you're about to feel him again. if it wasn't for james coming into the goddamn room talking about his forgotten scarf. "HOLY FUCK, ABOUT TIME THIS HAPPENS! I'M SO SORRY, PLEASE CONTINUE—"
remus takes notice and uses the opportunity to regain a bit of dominance, pulling you to him in the kiss you were both longing the past thirteen days. thirteen days he spent thinking of you, remembering the party, wishing he could feel your lips on his again, writing little notes to send you and throwing it away, glancing at you hoping you'd glance back at him so he could somehow read you for answers, was he in love alone?
no. he wasn't. and now he finally knew and he could melt in your arms as he always wished to.
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ad1thi · 4 months ago
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stevetony recs you won't see on other rec lists
I've (surprisingly) been reading a lot of stevetony lately, and have come across a couple of gems that i feel are vastly under-appreciated, and wanted to show them some love. Obviously, the title is a misnomer because maybe you have seen these on other rec lists, but it's clickbait okay !! Don't forget to leave kudos and comments, if you like what you've read !!
No Trait As Much As This : @kandisheek-art
Tony gets hit with truth serum. It's a terrible time for everyone.
the year you were mine : @areiton
The night that changes his life forever, Steve is on a date with another man. Or: Steve is a pricy escort and Tony buys him for a year. Neither of them are doing this for love.
Meant : @ardett
What Steve meant when he asked out Tony was very different than what Tony meant when he said yes.
One Last Second Chance : @/Muccamukk
Tony Stark, second newest engineer at Rhodes Labs International, is just trying to rebuild from the ruins of his failed company, vanished fortune, and struggles with alcoholism. His goals include keeping his head down, avoiding stress and convincing Dr. Rhodes to let him build a really cool robot, so why does the universe keep throwing Avengers in his path?
Not just a river in Egypt (Tony is most certainly not in denial) : @lilgideon
"You are most definitely not in love with me, Cap, what you are experiencing is called cabin pressure," Tony explains, because he has a rational train of thought and he's met enough shrinks to have figured out their tactics by now. "And possibly, you know, sexual frustration, because it doesn't matter at all that you're, like, America's national icon, Fury still won't let you out. I know that, I see that, I acknowledge your pain, I feel with you, Cap, believe me, I do. And I get it, because I am a very good-looking fellow and we spend a lot of time together, stuck in this tower, and it's easy to--" "I am," Steve cuts off, equal parts amused and frustrated and concerned. "In love. With you. Tony, I'm in love with you."
then sirens, then bells (the broadcast remix) : @isozyme
“I tire of this,” Amora says, and with a casual gesture the entire team is pinned in place, frozen in mid-air. Steve has the unsettling, half-familiar feeling of someone rifling through his head like it’s a card catalogue. A mind-reader as well as a witch, then. A female voice whispers into his mind’s ear. It’s very tragic in here, dearheart, but I think your armored friend is, somehow, more psychically toxic than even you. What’s wrong with Tony? Steve thinks, but the presence is gone, leaving his memories of war stirred up like flying insects rising off a lake in at dawn.
The Enchantress opens Tony's mind to anyone and everyone near him. Steve knows he should let Tony keep his secrets, but he's not noble enough to stay away
The Twice-Told Tale : @arysteia
For someone he'd hero-worshipped for so long, Steve Rogers in the flesh is a pretty big disappointment. For one thing, he keeps looking at Tony as though he reminds him of someone else, and even if he never says anything, Tony's pretty sure it's his father. A lifetime of not measuring up to Howard's expectations is more than enough, thank you very much, and he's certainly not going to make an effort to live up to any of Steve's. Steve's pretty clearly failed to live up to his expectations, in any case, and that's not hypocritical at all.
i'm going too far (just to have you near) : @/zaynerpaner
“Rhodey, why did you leave me here?” Tony demands. The voice on the other line doesn't sound exactly like Rhodey’s – in fact, it sounds like he’d woken somebody up, which couldn’t be right since Rhodey had been here with him earlier. “Who is this?” the voice speaks again, and – it’s too deep. Rhodey’s voice isn’t that deep. “Rhodey? It’s Tony, m’phone’s dead and I need you to pick me up,” he tries again, frowning as he leans against the bar. “Uh, I think you have the wrong number.” OR the one where Tony drunk calls the wrong number looking for a ride home from the bar, and Steve comes to pick him up.
Living In The Future : @/Closer
Eighteen-year-old Tony Stark is the boy genius who woke Captain America, and now he's stuck with him. That's not a bad thing, but between Steve's wide-eyed wonder at the new world and Tony's little fanboy crush, the awkwardness just keeps happening.
if we ever meet again : @/anonymous
"It’s been two months," Steve says, voice low. "Rhodey- Colonel. It’s been two months.”
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multi-fandom-of-madness · 1 year ago
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For the fluff-tober may I suggest Day 4 with Ifrit x Reader please
Leech
Pairings: Ifrit X GN!Reader
Type: Fluff w/ allusion to smut
Summary: Once Ifrit returns from tour, he is all over you, trying to envelop you in his scent. You decide to try your own version of marking him.
Warnings: Marking, sex jokes, allusion to sex (fade to black), friendly teasing
Word Count: 726
Notes: Read here on ao3. Just warning you that I am so beyond tired right now. This is not as good as I want it to be, so I'm sorry in advance.
~
“Ifrit!” You shout, trying to push the grinning ghoul away from you as you try to stop yourself from laughing. The two of you were curled up in his bed, watching a cheesy romcom, when he buried his face in your neck. He wasn’t doing anything other than rubbing his scent on your skin, trying to say that you were his. He knew what he was doing, but of course he acted oblivious. “That tickles, you know,” you accuse, poking him in the chest.
“What? Don’t like when I claim what’s mine?”
“You didn’t shave this morning, and your stubble is very scratchy.”
He hums in consideration. “Well maybe you should just be less ticklish,” he offers.
You scoff and roll your eyes in a playful manner, pulling him to lay down next to you. “Maybe you shouldn’t abandon me while you go on tour. Then you wouldn’t have to ‘scent me’ all over again.”
“I didn’t abandon you, dramatic ass. I could have brought you along,” he countered. “Plus, don’t act like you don’t like it,” he smirked, pressing a chaste kiss to your lips.
You giggle as he pulls away. “See, I could go along with you, but then I’d be cramped in a bus bunk with a ton of ghouls, and I’m not doing that.”
“Hey, Terzo isn’t a ghoul,” he protested.
“He’s close enough.”
“Maybe once Omega gets his hands on him,” Ifrit laughs.
“Filthy, filthy mind,” you chide, though you let out a small chuckle of your own.
Once the laughter dies down, Ifrit grabs your waist, pulling you closer. “Come here, baby,” Ifrit says, his tone shifting.
You hum as he rests his chin on your head, wrapping his arms around you, completely engulfing you in him. You buried your head in his neck and hummed, breathing in the sweet, spiced scent of him. Acting out of instinct, you leaned forward and bit him.
He pulled back with a confused, yet amused expression. “What was that for?”
“Well, you alway try to claim me with your weird scenting thing, so I’m claiming you in my own way,” you explained as if this were the most normal conversation to be had.
“With hickeys?”
“With hickeys,” you confirmed. “Is that okay?”
He rolled over, then sat against the headboard, pulling you onto his lap. “Oh, you pretty little thing,” he mumbles, eying you up and down. “I couldn’t have asked for anything better,” he grins, giving a playful growl.
You giggle, then lean back into him, attacking his neck. You alternate between kissing, biting, and sucking, listening to him groan every so often. You thank whoever is out there that he isn’t wearing a shirt, allowing you to trail the marks down his chest.
He pulls you up, pulling you into a passionate kiss. “You’re perfect, you know that?”
“You remind me at least once a day,” you smiled.
He grins as he flips you over, hovering over you with a predatory look in his eyes. “Well, then…let me remind you again.”
“Lucifer almighty, did you get attacked by a vampire?” Dewdrop cackles as Ifrit walks into the common room. Ifrit gives a sheepish grin as he looks at his pack, but ignores them.
“I think somebody missed you,” Zephyr laughs from his spot next to Mountain on the couch.
“Yeah, yeah, yeah. You all would have acted the same way,” Ifrit said, sitting in one of the reclining chairs in the corner of the room.
You walk into the common room, wearing nothing but one of Ifrit’s flannels and a pair of underwear, then curl up on his lap.
“There’s the leech of the hour!” Dewdrop shouts.
You give Ifrit a confused look, watching him blush. “Don’t worry about it,” he says, wrapping one arm atop your legs, the other around your back as he holds you close.
“And I thought Dewdrop and his fucking shark teeth were bad,” Aether mutters.
You look at Ifrit, and once you take in the sight of his neck, you understand. There are so many hickeys. His neck is bruised almost entirely, hardly any of his gray skin peeking through.
“Unholy shit,” you gasp as you finally realize the number you did on him. You bury your face against his chest in embarrassment as he laughs.
“It’s okay. At least you’re a pretty leech.”
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