#maybe something in there about Doing The Same Thing Again in a way that appears superior on the surface while not substantially effecting
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tarbuchyloewenthal · 1 day ago
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Questions About Creating Your OCs - Envoy Idunn
‘Cause sometimes the stories of how OCs come to be are just as interesting as the OCs, themselves. Tell me how your virtual kids came into the world.
What was the first element of your OC that you remember considering (name, appearance, backstory, etc.)? - absolutely the name. i usually go through phases where i name every new rpg character i make the same name, and in the run up to avowed's release i zeroed in on idunn, the norse goddess who tended the gods' immortality granting apples.
Did you design them with any other characters/OCs from their universe in mind? - not particulary. i've toyed with the idea of her being acquainted in some way with my watcher, wulfrun
How did you choose their name? - jumped the gun on this one lol
In developing their backstory, what elements of the world they live in played the most influential parts? - her relationship with empire. she was always going to end up breaking her oath to her homeland. but as the personal envoy of the emperor, who personally pardoned her crimes and recruited her, i needed to come up with reasons why that wouldn't be enough to keep her loyalty.
Is there any significance behind their hair color? - i just like dark brown hair because i have dark brown hair.
Is there any significance behind their eye color? - same as above but w/ blue eyes
Is there any significance behind their height? - same again because i am tall
What (if anything) do you relate to within their character/story? - her feelings on empire are meant to be directly correlated with my own realization of what it means to be a citizen of empire
Are they based off of you, in some way? - ^
If they have an LI, how much of their character is tailored to be compatible to that person? - no love interest, really. maybe she'll romance kai in a couple playthroughs idk
Did you know what the OC’s sexuality would be at the time of their creation? - all my oc's are vaguely bisexual lol
What have you found to be most difficult about creating art for your OC (any form of art: writing, drawing, edits, etc.)? - haven't gotten around to making any sort of fic or art for her
How far past the canon events that take place in their world have you extended their story, if at all? - might take her into the next few months/years post campaign
If you had to narrow it down to 2 things that you MUST keep in mind while working with your OC, what would those things be? - her sense of isolation and alienation & her evolving views on her homeland
What is something about your OC can make you laugh? - she is *very* sarcastic
What is something about your OC can make you cry? - she feels deeply the pain of sapadal and the ekida
Is there some element you regret adding to your OC or their story? - nah :^]
What is the most recent thing you’ve discovered about your OC? - i mean, i've always had her look more or less sketched out but i think i've really refined it.
What is your favorite fact about your OC? - aedyr is known to be a tropical empire, but it spans a whole continent. my envoy is from a rural region on the edges of the empire that's more arid/high desert in climate. because she is a self-insert in a lot of ways and that climate is the one i grew up in.
Questions About Creating Your OCs
‘Cause sometimes the stories of how OCs come to be are just as interesting as the OCs, themselves. Tell me how your virtual kids came into the world.
What was the first element of your OC that you remember considering (name, appearance, backstory, etc.)? 
Did you design them with any other characters/OCs from their universe in mind? 
How did you choose their name? 
In developing their backstory, what elements of the world they live in played the most influential parts? 
Is there any significance behind their hair color? 
Is there any significance behind their eye color? 
Is there any significance behind their height? 
What (if anything) do you relate to within their character/story? 
Are they based off of you, in some way? 
If they have an LI, how much of their character is tailored to be compatible to that person? 
Did you know what the OC’s sexuality would be at the time of their creation? 
What have you found to be most difficult about creating art for your OC (any form of art: writing, drawing, edits, etc.)? 
How far past the canon events that take place in their world have you extended their story, if at all? 
If you had to narrow it down to 2 things that you MUST keep in mind while working with your OC, what would those things be? 
What is something about your OC can make you laugh? 
What is something about your OC can make you cry? 
Is there some element you regret adding to your OC or their story? 
What is the most recent thing you’ve discovered about your OC? 
What is your favorite fact about your OC?
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imjustabeanie · 2 days ago
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Flowers Exchange
For @tillichan
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Dandelion— Are they protective? How would they protect you?
Xavier… protective? Well yes and no. While this man’s default setting is hovering like a very well-dressed, annoyingly handsome guardian angel who doesn’t know the meaning of personal space. He still sometimes bring danger home with him (I am talking about his cooking). You are safe from any enemy except his cooking and tendency to appear behind you. But the thing is, it’s not much in a suffocating way. I mean he doesn’t even tell you that he dealt with someone who targeted you because you’re his lover. But he will stand a little closer when someone’s giving you weird vibes in town. Or the way he always texts if you’re safe even when he left 30 mins ago cuz he got paranoid (spoiler alert he comes back in secret to check). But don’t blame him for this! When you sacrificed the throne, changed planets and waited who knows how long for your love then of course you’ll be protective.
Despite his aloof exterior (if I saw him outside I’d think he’s lost), he’s terrifying to his enemies. If someone actually dared to cross you? Xavier’s whole vibe would shift. That pretty-boy prince aura? Gone. Suddenly you’re looking at the man who’s fought wars across galaxies, and yeah, maybe it’s hot but also terrifying. He’s the kind to settle things with a calm, icy “I suggest you leave. Now.” And yet his hand is ready to take out his sword. Calm him down please. Or else he might do something bad.
But the cutest part? He protects you in ways you don’t even realize. Like learning your allergies so he can steer you away from danger without making a fuss. Or discreetly fixing something at your house and pretending it was “always like that.” (that’s when he knows how to fix it. He’s not as bad as Raf but let’s just say his skills sometimes make the matter worse) He protects your peace by trying to shoulder the hard things so your world stays a little gentler. And if you’re in fatal danger or worse, another mc situation? Then he’ll be this close to throwing hands with fate itself.
Jasmine — What is their biggest fear related to you? Are they insecure about something in your relationship? Do they share their fears/insecurities with you?
Well, with Xavier…his biggest fear? It’s losing you without knowing why. Like, not some big dramatic breakup. But you slowly drifting away, getting quieter, smiling less around him. He worries that one day you’ll wake up and realize you deserve someone simpler. Someone fully human. Someone who doesn’t come with cosmic baggage, weird alien quirks, and centuries of complicated history.
He’d never say it outright at first. He keeps it bottled up in that polite, prince-like smile. But you’d catch it in the little pauses. The way he sometimes double-checks if you’re really okay. The times he looks at you like you’re a fleeting dream he’s scared to hold too tightly. And when he does open up? It’s at night, when you’re curled up together under a blanket, his voice soft and a little hoarse:
“I know…I’m not easy. Sometimes I think you deserve someone less…complicated.”
And you’d have to kiss him quiet. Pull him closer. Remind him he’s not too much, he’s exactly right. He needs that reassurance sometimes—that no, you didn’t settle, you chose him. And every time you tell him? You swear he falls in love with you a little more. You make him believe that all his pain and suffering is worth it.
His other fear is that an mc situation happens again. That he finds himself in that same cycle. Only this time he doesn’t have anything to give (he already gave up his throne) so fate can offer you two another chance in another timeline. Sometimes he finds himself wishing to reincarnate as the same time as you cuz he knows it’ll be painful to see you age while he stays the same…
Daisy — How easy is it to embarrass them? What can you do to fluster them and make them melt?
Xavier? Embarrassed? Hell yeah. Have you seen the bunny card? This man can face down wanderers without blinking but call him by a pet name in public and he’s a tomato. He tries to hide it, to tease you back, but as long as it’s in public he will be flustered. In private it’s another story tho…we’ve seen in some cards how he can be when teased too much
Want to fluster him? One was is to praise him unexpectedly. Doesn’t matter what it’s for, he will immediately malfunction. He tries to play it off cool, runs a hand through his hair, maybe tease you back. But you can see the faint pink creeping up his neck. And one of his habits when flustered is to rub his neck and burry his face in your hair (even blowing raspberries) Bonus points if you say it while tracing his jaw or fixing his collar. He gets flustered when you touch him like that in public. And that’s from a man who insists on holding your hand and hugging you.
Next, use pet names. Especially sappy ones. Call him “my prince,” “darling,” or (if you’re feeling chaotic) “my E.T (you do this when you catch him eating reeses)” and watch him short-circuit. He’ll bury his face in your shoulder or pull you into a hug just to hide how flustered he is. And if you kiss his cheek out of nowhere, or worse, his lips? Congratulations, Xavier.exe has stopped working. Don’t do that while he’s in battle tho. He’d still win but will be very distracted.
Now, people might think he doesn’t like it cuz…He’s embarrassed, sure, but he also walks around the rest of the day glowing like he just won the cosmic lottery. He won’t even hide the marks you could possibly leave.
Now to finish this off…spoiler alert, he will get back at you once you two are home.
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inkyrainstorms · 10 hours ago
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how this all appear to him? Ford spent thirty years bringing Stanley back, but Stanley fully believed Ford left him for dead. Probably was told that too. but it wasn’t true, and Stanley has to understand that. is this resentment? some odd stomach churning guilt? (your twins spent thirty years bringing you back. he could have made a life for himself)
For my thought process of this au, I had to think about the original Stan Twins, by making Ford go through the Portal and Stan stay what it did to Stan. It gave Stan a place to feel stable for 30 years, it gave Stan a goal of redemption, he had time to soften, to build a family. If Ford and Stan swapped places I think the same would happen to Ford. The man melted like a puppy when he saw his grandniece and nephew, in my mind he’s just as family oriented as Stan. So by pushing Stan into the portal, by pushing people away I think that would make Ford course correct hard.
Because I think that’s what Ford does, when he makes a mistake, he tries to correct that mistake by doing the opposite of what he initially did. Trusted the wrong person? Trust nobody. Pushing Stanley away leads to him having to shoot Stanley with the memory gun to fix his mistake? Ford spends the rest of his life with Stanley.
So by pushing Stanley into the portal, I think he would try to let his family in, and tries to be with them.
However for Stanley, I think getting pushed into the Portal…it changes him. Because he dropped everything to come help Ford, after years of holding out hope that he’ll make it back to family, snapped. Because he ended up back where he started ten years ago.
He can never come back to family. He’s losing a game, so why try?
It’s heartbreaking but he gives up on the idea that love can be reciprocated for him.
And with Bill throwing out the idea, that Stanley maybe was thrown through the portal as a sacrifice to buy Ford some time, Stan doesn’t want to believe it. But as the extra Stan, that’s what he was always for wasn’t he?
As years on the run from bill go on, the memory is a fickle thing. He goes back and forth, between the idea. Ford would never sacrifice him, he was his brother!
But then again it was ten years, he hadn’t see his brother in a long time. And he didn’t think it was possible for Ford to be Buddy Buddy with a demon, but somehow Ford managed to.
Was Stan remembering Ford correctly that night? Or could it be that Stan only was remembering that night through rose tinted glasses out of the hope that his brother would save him?
Struck by indescion, Stan does what he does best. He gambles or in this case makes a wager with himself.
Ford was the genius who built the portal right?
So if this whole thing was an accident, then Stanley would probably be out of here soon.
Because Ford, would try to save him. However if this whole thing was in fact a way for Ford to save his own skin, Stanley would not be able to make it back.
So if he gets rescued in a year or so, it was an accident. If he’s still stuck out here, then Ford tried to use him as a way to save himself.
So as the year goes by and Stan meets several Fords that say that they wouldn’t save Stanley, it just confirms it in Stan’s mind that Bill at least in that instance was telling the truth.
And Stanley can’t even get mad at Ford for it.
He just feels… like it just slotted something into place. Ford, was like everyone else, he just saw Stan as a thing to use, just like everyone else on the streets.
Funny, how he wasn’t even able to be a good sacrifice. Bill was still alive trying to get his brother. And even if Ford saw him as a way to survive, that’s fine. He’ll just have to do what he was sent to do. And save Ford, kill the triangle and get rid of Ford’s problems in one fell swoop.
So he watches what other Fords do, pretends to be one of them, to steal plans from them.
He watches other dimension trying to find one where they succeed in killing Bill so he can replicate it.
There was no use in getting home, there was never any use of getting home.
Might as do what he was born to do instead.
Also once Ford does bring him home, Stan’s still in that mindset, he needs to save Ford. And by the end of the summer he needs to leave before he gets kicked out, he can’t let himself be vulnerable and get his heart stabbed again.
Anyways so those were my thoughts/ Stan interlude a bit?
OH MY GOD ANON YOU ARE A GENIUS AND ALSO EVIL DID YOU KNOW THAT
god. Okay. We’re calling this part 3.5 where I get stabbed in the gut by feels for new and interesting reasons
of COURSE he’s being distant if he’s trying to protect himself. Of course he can’t bring himself to believe he’s worth something in the eyes of his family after not believing so for 30 years.
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notreallythatlost · 1 day ago
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AAAAAAA i can’t. everything you write is literally a masterpiece 😫😫
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and of course i’ve noted down my life reactions for you again hehehehe
Joaquin Torres.
HELLO PRETTY BOYYY
“Going, going,” Joaquin grinned, walking backwards toward the hall. “If either of you cry, I want a full recap.”
i love him so much, he’s so funny omfg
“I can see people’s emotions. Auras. I can feel things — what’s coming, what’s hidden. It’s instinct, but stronger. Like… something crawling under my skin.”
i have one word for you: AMAZING
“And I’m asking you to do the same. Join us.”
awww samuel, that’s so cute
“Neither was I. Until Steve gave me the chance to be. Now, I’m giving you that chance.”
here i am, bawling my eyes out
“Brace yourself. It's like a reality show in there. But with superpowers and less shame. Maybe.”
did i already say that i love him?
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Sam sighed beside you. “Welcome to the New Avengers.”
THE WAY I LOVE EVERYTHING ABOUT THIS IS INDESCRIBABLE
And then, amidst the chaos, a familiar figure appeared — Bucky Barnes. Standing at the top of the stairs in full tactical gear, arms folded, jaw tight.
JAMES BUCHANAN BARNES THE LEADER YOU ARE
He was your enemy.
goosebumps
Still, you could feel his presence — heavy, watchful, tense. And it made your skin crawl.
did i mention goosebumps? (AGAIN)
Bucky sighed, running his metal hand through his wavy hair.
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And with that, he was gone, practically leaving an air of smoke behind him. 
omg i can literally see it before my eyes
Bob laughed so hard he choked on his dumpling.
same bob, same (but without the dumpling)
“One shot for every ‘Never Have I Ever.’ If you have, you drink. If you lie, I will know.”
HAHAHAHA ALEXEI
“I was Russia’s answer to Captain America, you know? They call me the Red Guardian,” He flexed his bicep. “Touch it.”
😭😭😭 why is this so him
Sam gave you a sheepish shrug. “It happens.”
as if he would do it everyday 😭
Before you could hit the ground, there was a hand on your arm, warm and steady. Then another, pulling you back up with an ease that made your stomach flip.
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You slowly looked up, meeting his eyes, and for a split second, you forgot where you were.
and this ladies and gentleman, this is the bucky barnes effect
“We’re family now. And family takes care of each other.”
i’m sitting in a corner, crying over this quote
“I see the way Sam looks at you,” he said, voice tight. “It’s not just a teammate thing.”
i can feel it coming 😏😏
Or, he hated being hated by you.
i don’t know if i said it enough, but you are so talented. i love this series so much omfg. AND I CANT WAIT TO READ THE TRAINING SESSION HOLY SHIT—
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a body to break against [bucky barnes x f!reader]
pairing: new avenger!bucky x f!reader
synopsis: a night of chinese food, shots, and unexpected camaraderie with the new avengers forces you to confront your place on the team, and it's especially difficult with bucky’s stare lingering on you.
word count: 6200
warnings: 18+ for eventual smut, enemies to lovers, thunderbolts* spoilers, alcohol consumption, mention of family member death, details of physical and emotional abuse, grumpy!bucky, avengers tower fic
masterlist
previous chapter | current | next chapter
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You didn’t know what woke you. Maybe it was the absence of weight in the air. Or maybe it was the silence—thick and undisturbed, like something had finally shifted. For a moment, you lay still beneath the blanket, eyes fixed on the ceiling, waiting for the storm to return.
But it didn’t.
You stepped out of the room barefoot, expecting to find Bucky Barnes still haunting the apartment like some cold draft. Instead, the kitchen was empty. The chair he’d claimed last night was vacant, the beer bottle gone. His presence, which had been so sharp and intrusive, had vanished.
And you were relieved.
Until a voice startled you from the table. “Morning,” it said — warm, casual. You turned your head and saw him.
He was younger than you expected. Messy curls, soft features, and a grin that looked like it came easy. Joaquin Torres.
He waved a spatula at you. “Sam said you might be up soon. I made eggs. Hope you’re not vegan.”
You hesitated in the doorway, unsure how to exist in a space that felt suddenly… normal. And then, because your stomach growled before you could think of an excuse, you nodded and stepped in.
Joaquin talked about the grocery store being out of oat milk again, about some neighbour who kept confusing him with his own cousin, and about music. He didn't ask who you were or why you were here. That made it easier.
You ate quietly, letting the rhythm of his voice fill the silence.
When Sam walked in, the room changed. Not with tension—not like it had with Bucky—but with a kind of quiet awareness. He froze in the doorway when he saw you sitting at the table, a plate of half-eaten eggs in front of you, a rare flicker of something soft brushing across his face before he caught it and cleared his throat.
“Morning,” he said, nodding.
You nodded back, unsure if you were more startled by how natural this felt… or by the way Sam looked at you. Like he was trying not to look too long.
He joined you at the table, grabbed a coffee, and the three of you sat like a real group of roommates — almost.
But even as you smiled faintly at something Joaquin said, you felt it: Sam was watching you more closely than before. Like he wanted to say something, he hadn’t quite found the right words for.
The eggs were almost gone. Joaquin had started poking fun at your lack of hot sauce tolerance, making exaggerated wheezing noises every time you reached for your water. You rolled your eyes, but the amusement was genuine — fleeting, but real.
Sam watched the exchange with a half-smile, arms crossed, leaning back in his chair like he was cataloguing something in his mind.
“Hey, Joaquin?” he said suddenly, voice steady but layered.
Joaquin glanced over, a piece of toast halfway to his mouth. “Yeah, Cap?”
“Can we get a minute?”
Joaquin blinked. Then his eyes flicked between the two of you, his expression comically exaggerated. “Ooooh. Private talk. Say no more.”
You raised a brow. “It’s not—”
He was already standing. “Hey, I support emotionally mature conversations. You want me to pretend I didn’t hear anything, I will. You want me to eavesdrop through the wall, also doable.”
“Joaquin,” Sam said, a warning threaded through the name.
“Going, going,” Joaquin grinned, walking backwards toward the hall. “If either of you cry, I want a full recap.”
You huffed a breath through your nose. Sam waited until the bedroom door clicked shut, and the apartment fell quiet again. Then he turned back to you.
He leaned his elbows on the table, hands laced together.
“I opened my home to you,” he said quietly. “I gave you a safe place. I know it’s only your second day here, but you know I’m on your side. I need two favours from you. I want you to know, they aren’t conditional. You don’t have to answer. You’ll still have a home here, for as long as you need, until you get back on your feet. But I also need you to consider doing the right thing.”
You looked at your plate, then slowly lifted your gaze to meet his.
“I need the truth,” he said. “About your powers.”
You didn’t say anything at first. Just sat with it. The truth. The weight of it. The danger in it. Sam was right. You knew what the right thing was. You knew he deserved to hear it. 
You swallowed. “I’ve had them… for as long as I can remember.”
Sam didn’t blink.
“Most of the time, it’s just…” You hesitated, unsure how to put it into words that wouldn’t make you sound unhinged—crazy, even. “I can see people’s emotions. Auras. I can feel things — what’s coming, what’s hidden. It’s instinct, but stronger. Like… something crawling under my skin.”
“And the rest of the time?”
You met his eyes.
“Sometimes I spiral,” you said. “Sometimes it’s not just reading emotions. Sometimes I feel this… surge. A force. I can predict people. Their moves. Their lies. I can see through them. And if it gets loud. Too loud…I…”
Sam leaned back a little. Not away — just adjusting. Digesting.
“Have you ever hurt anyone with it?”
You didn’t answer.
That silence was enough.
Sam looked down, nodding once. Then he spoke, voice calm but weighted. “There’s a war in space.”
Your eyes narrowed.
“The New Avengers know. Joaquin knows. The government knows. It’s not public, and it’s not simple, but it’s coming. And if it’s already happening above the atmosphere, it could be a matter of days—weeks, even, before it comes to Earth. We don’t have enough people ready for what’s next. And I need all the help I can get.”
You stared at him. “So this is a recruitment speech?”
“This is me telling you the truth. Which leads to my second favour…” He leaned forward again, tone shifting into something firmer, something that settled into your bones. “I don’t want to sign Bucky’s peace treaty. I don’t trust it. But we both know I’m going to do it. For the greater good. Because we don’t have time for egos,” He paused. “And I’m asking you to do the same. Join us.”
You folded your arms across your chest, more for comfort than defiance.
“You want me to be an Avenger?” You bit your lip, looking down at the table. The proposition made your stomach twist with unspoken anxiety. 
“Have you ever wanted to be more?” Sam asked softly. “Because now’s your chance. You’ve already survived so much. But if you step up, you won’t be alone anymore. You’ll have purpose.”
You looked at him. The man who’d picked you up off the street and offered you warmth and protection. A home.
“I’m not a hero,” you said quietly.
Being an Avenger was your brother's dream, not yours.
Sam smiled, just a little. “Neither was I. Until Steve gave me the chance to be. Now, I’m giving you that chance.”
You didn’t answer right away. But something shifted in your chest. The tiniest spark of belief.
And when Sam stood and grabbed the treaty folder from the counter, you didn’t stop him.
You watched him sign it.
And for the first time in a long time, you wondered what it would feel like to stop running — and start becoming.
────✪────
The ride to Avengers Tower was quiet—not tense, but contemplative. Sam sat in the front, flipping through the treaty folder. You didn’t get a chance to read it for yourself, but you had gathered that they were filled with terms authored by Valentina Allegra de Fontaine herself, chairman of O.X.E. and figurehead of the New Avengers. You remembered yesterday, Sam’s passing comment about her being Bucky’s girlfriend. 
That had to have been a joke. 
Joaquin, in the backseat beside you, kept trying to lighten the mood with whispered jokes and dramatic gasps every time the tower came into view.
“Ever been in the Tower before?” he asked, nudging you.
You shook your head. “No, this is all very new to me.”
“Oh,” he said, eyes wide. “Brace yourself. It's like a reality show in there. But with superpowers and less shame. Maybe.”
“Torres, you haven’t even been to the tower before,” Sam snickered, shaking his head. Joaquin’s cheeks flushed a dusty pink, and you quirked an inquisitive eyebrow.
“Forgive me for trying to impress the lady,” Joaquin grumbled. “Okay, I’ve never been, but I’ve heard a lot about it.”
“I imagine it’s very different now, compared to what it was like when I lived there with Tony, Steve and the rest of them.”
“I would have loved to be part of that.” Joaquin hummed, his eyes filled with dream and longing.
“Yeah, it wasn’t so bad.” Sam reflected with a small smile upon his lips.
The car pulled up to the glass entrance, sleek and towering, the A emblazoned above the doors like a warning more than a welcome. Security scanned your faces — or rather, Sam’s — and let you in.
Inside, it was exactly as Joaquin promised.
Before you could say a word, someone shouted.
“Yelena, stop putting gum in John’s helmet!”
“I’m conducting an experiment!”
“Your experiment almost took out my peripheral vision!”
“Maybe use your brain instead of your biceps for once, huh?”
From across the lobby, a burly man with a strong Russian accent called out, “Does anyone know where I put my beer? It is emotional support.”
You blinked.
Sam sighed beside you. “Welcome to the New Avengers.”
A woman with sharp, blonde hair and electric blue eyeliner passed by, muttering under her breath and typing furiously into a tablet. “I swear to God if Bob drops those milkshakes again—”
Right on cue, a clatter, broken glass and milkshake all over the pinewood floor. Bob, you assumed, stood with wide eyes, examining the mess he had made with an almost delayed response. Again? This wasn’t the first time he had done this?
“Why did you even make so many milkshakes?” Yelena sighed, already grabbing a mop to clean the mess.
“Bucky said we might have guests,” Bob replied, looking genuinely disappointed that his time making milkshakes had been wasted.
“Oh my god,” you murmured.
“Don’t say I didn’t warn you,” Joaquin whispered, clearly delighted.
And then, amidst the chaos, a familiar figure appeared — Bucky Barnes. Standing at the top of the stairs in full tactical gear, arms folded, jaw tight. His eyes swept over the three of you, stopping on you for half a second longer than necessary.
He descended slowly, calculated and unreadable.
“Nice of you to show,” he said to Sam. “Been waiting.”
Sam held up the signed treaty. “Got what you wanted.”
Bucky didn’t smile. But he did take the folder, nodding once.
Then his eyes returned to you. Just for a breath.
You met his gaze and said nothing.
Because whatever this was — truce, alliance, manipulation — it wasn’t over. And Bucky Barnes wasn’t just an Avenger.
He was your enemy.
And now you were on his team.
Bucky led the three of you through a winding corridor of glass and steel, toward a meeting room tucked behind reinforced doors. He hadn’t said a word since taking the treaty, and you were fine with that. The less you had to hear his voice, the better.
Still, you could feel his presence — heavy, watchful, tense. And it made your skin crawl.
Joaquin gave you a sympathetic look as the doors closed behind the four of you. “This feels like being summoned to the principal’s office,” he whispered, earning a glare from Bucky that only made him grin wider. “Yup, confirmed.”
Sam ignored them both and took a seat at the table, gesturing for you to do the same. You hesitated — only a beat — before sitting across from Bucky. He opened the folder and flipped through the pages, then set it aside.
“The team’s unstable,” Bucky said bluntly, addressing Sam. “We’re barely functioning. Half the government wants to shut us down. The other half wants to use us as weapons. This treaty… it’s not just a co-leadership agreement. It’s our last shot at legitimacy.”
Sam nodded. “That’s why I signed it. But you know, I still don’t trust the system behind it. This whole thing is like the Accords all over again. Everything that we fought against.”
“I was on Steve’s side that day, regardless of his beliefs. I didn’t care for the politics. Kinda had my own shit going on.” Bucky sighed, running his metal hand through his wavy hair. The metallic black caught a sliver of light and sparkled under the afternoon sun. 
“Which is how it’s always been,” Sam frowned. There was that look again. The betrayal. If you hadn’t known any better, you might have thought that Sam and Bucky were ex-lovers, going through the breakup of the century. The tension in the room was sharper than a knife. “You saying you’re okay with being under the control of Val, Congressman?”
“No. No. And I’m not a Congressman anymore,” Bucky corrected like it was an extremely important detail he had to defend himself from. “You know me. You know what I’m trying to do here.”
Sam nodded briefly, something in his face softening. You read his aura, and it glowed with faith. Belief. Hope. “I still don't trust this.”
“I don’t either,” Bucky admitted. “But I trust you.”
Silence settled between them. You watched closely — the decades of history between them pressing into every glance, every pause. There was something unspoken there. Something heavy.
“Then let’s get to work,” Sam said. “She’s in.”
Bucky’s eyes flicked to you again. “You sure?”
You crossed your arms. “I didn’t come all this way to sit on the bench.”
“Good,” Bucky muttered, standing. “You start training tomorrow. Physical and tactical.”
“With you?” you asked, unable to keep the disdain out of your voice.
“Problem?”
You gave him a tight smile. “Guess I’ll just have to lower my expectations.”
He stared at you, unreadable, before turning to leave.
Sam caught your gaze as the door closed behind him. “He’s rough around the edges,” he said. “But he means well.”
You didn’t respond. Because it didn’t matter what he meant.
You had a personal mission. And this was only the beginning.
You were still sitting at the conference table when the door slammed open like a bad sitcom entrance.
“Lena said she’s ordering Chinese food,” Bob announced, stepping inside with the grace of a golden retriever on roller skates. “Anyone staying for dinner?”
Joaquin leaned forward immediately. “Does that include dumplings? Because if so—hell yes.”
Sam chuckled under his breath. “I could eat.”
You hesitated, eyes flicking to the door that Bucky left from. You were still recovering from sharing air with the man, let alone sweet and sour chicken.
But... maybe you needed to see what you were up against.
“Sure,” you murmured.
Bob smiled. “Great. Fun. Exciting. Oh! I can make you a milkshake too, if you’d like. I can do vanilla or chocolate, or strawberry. But not banana. They don’t blend properly because John freezes them. And come to think of it, someone keeps hiding the strawberries from me.”
“What do you mean, someone is hiding the strawberries from you?” Sam asked, puzzled with a hint of mild concern. Not concerned for the strawberries, but for Bob. 
“I’ve said too much,” Bob stilled. “Gotta run!”
And with that, he was gone, practically leaving an air of smoke behind him. 
“I can’t believe this is the team Bucky formed,” Sam sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose.
“Right?” Joaquin grinned, his brown eyes gleaming with excitement. “I can’t wait to get to know everyone.”
────✪────
When the sun set, The Avengers Tower common room looked more like a college dorm—empty takeout containers already littered the table, and someone (Alexei) had managed to crack a fortune cookie clean in half before opening it.
You were seated on the oversized sectional with a plate of noodles in your lap, wedged between Yelena—who kept stealing your spring rolls with zero shame—and Joaquin, who had already named three different sauces after himself and started rating them out loud.
“I call this one ‘Torres Tang,’” he said, holding up a little cup of neon orange sauce. “Sweet with a kick. Just like me.”
Bob laughed so hard he choked on his dumpling. Ava handed him a bottle of water without looking up from her phone.
Sam had taken the big armchair like some kind of dad overseeing chaos. Bucky sat at the edge of the couch, mostly silent, mostly brooding, chopsticks barely touched.
And somehow, somehow, it didn’t feel as tense anymore. You were still wary. Still watching him. But the noise helped. The food helped.
Empty, grease-stained boxes were scattered about, chopsticks poked out of rice bowls at odd angles, and someone had already spilt duck sauce on the rug (Bob, according to Yelena, who’d ratted him out instantly).
You were half-listening as Alexei brought over a full bottle of vodka—his contribution to the evening.
“Let’s make it fun,” he said, plopping it down with a loud thud. “One shot for every ‘Never Have I Ever.’ If you have, you drink. If you lie, I will know.”
“Dad… this is so weird.” Yelena groaned, squeezing her eyes shut.
“You're terrifying,” Joaquin said with an impressed whistle, already reaching for a shot glass.
Alexei didn’t use one. He took a clean swig from the bottle and grinned like it was water.
You blinked.
“Jesus,” you muttered under your breath. “Is that even safe?”
“No,” Ava answered without looking up from her phone. “But here we are.”
“Russia’s finest,” Alexei smirked, licking his lips. “Me, not the Vodka. I got this from Walmart,” He nudged you, and you looked at him with a hardened yet confused expression. “I was Russia’s answer to Captain America, you know? They call me the Red Guardian,” He flexed his bicep. “Touch it.”
“I uh—“ you glanced around the room. Yelena looked like she wanted the ground to swallow her whole. Bucky watched, his stare unreadable as usual. And Joaquin was beaming, amused, like this was the most entertaining thing he had ever seen. “No, thank you.”
“One day, you will touch it,” Alexei smiled, proud. “100 percent super soldier serum coursing through my veins. You see how I am much bigger than these two?” He gestured to John and Bucky. “That’s the vodka.”
“The serum actually went to his head and made him delusional,” John said pointedly. “I can bench press 600kg. Nice to meet you.” He extended a hand for you to shake, but you just looked at it, speechless and slightly disturbed.
“Can you guys stop being so odd, you’re gonna make her run away,” Ava warned before mouthing an ‘I’m sorry’ in your direction. You smiled, grateful for her comfort. 
You had no plans on running away, and in all honesty, you weren’t really that creeped out. You’d dealt with a lot worse, like Shane and some of the men who frequented McCready’s bar. Because of that, you were quick to realise that these guys were no more than just a simple group of harmless misfits. And for the first time, you felt like you could fit in with them. Besides, you were certainly confident that they weren’t going to harm you, and that counted for something. 
Everyone settled into positions on the sectional. Sam had taken a seat in the armchair, casually draped like he wasn’t watching every interaction in the room. But you felt it. The way his gaze drifted to you more than once. Not heavy, not unwelcome — just steady. Soft. Like he was trying to read you.
And then there was Bucky Barnes, sitting across from you.
His drink was untouched at first. But when Alexei took his second swig, Bucky gave a quiet sigh and knocked his own shot back. No flinch. No change in expression. You had no idea what kind of alcohol tolerance came with a super soldier serum, but whatever it was, it was intimidating.
“Okay!” Yelena bounced beside you, already a little flushed, a little chaotic. “Never Have I Ever—uh—crashed a government vehicle!”
You stared as Bob, Bucky, Sam, Joaquin, and Alexei all drank.
“Seriously?” you asked.
Sam gave you a sheepish shrug. “It happens.”
“More often than it should,” Ava muttered.
“I’ve never even driven a government vehicle.” You revealed, almost feeling a little left out. 
“Don’t worry,” Yelena grinned at you. “You’ll get there.”
Another round.
“Never have I ever... kissed a teammate,” Ava said, a coy little smile playing on her lips.
Joaquin drank immediately.
You blinked. “Wait—what?”
He didn’t explain. Joaquin just leaned into you and whispered, “Regret nothing.”
You didn’t drink. But you did feel two sets of eyes on you.
Sam’s—quiet, full of something like concern or curiosity.
And Bucky’s.
His was different. His stare settled against your skin like a spark. It crawled across your collarbone, dragged over your throat, and stayed. Hot and unmoving. You didn’t dare look back.
You felt your face warm — maybe from the shot, maybe from something else.
“I need another drink,” you muttered and reached for the bottle.
“Atta girl,” Joaquin said, clinking his glass against yours. “Let’s ruin our livers together.”
You laughed. Too loud. You were getting tipsy, and Yelena wasn’t helping — giggling as she told stories about “murder yoga” and missions gone wrong. Joaquin kept the mood light, telling stories about Sam and Red-Wing. 
“Who’s Red-Wing?” You asked with a slight stumble over your words.
“Oh, you’re gonna love him, he’s adorable.” Sam beamed proudly.
“He’s like… your dog?” 
Joaquin laughed at your suggestion.  
“No! He’s my surveillance and reconnaissance drone!” Sam answered, taking a swig of beer, like it was the most obvious thing in the world.
Even John Walker got into the discussion, though he was a loud, cocky drunk. Every time he spoke, you wanted to toss an egg roll at his head.
Alexei, on the other hand, drank like a man built to survive nuclear winters. You were genuinely impressed he was still upright. He did, however, disappear to pee every ten minutes.
And somehow, Bucky had knocked back three shots without blinking. But he had been so quiet all night. You wondered if this was normal for him. 
When it was your turn, you found yourself blurting it out before thinking:
“Never have I ever… felt like I belonged on a team.”
The room went still for a beat too long.
Everyone drank, except you.
Yelena bumped your arm. “That’s because you haven’t had us yet. These guys aren’t just team mates, they’re family. And we hope that, now you join us, you'll feel the same.”
You smiled. A little. But your fingers tightened around your glass.
You wanted to believe her.
And as your eyes flicked across the room—to the quiet kindness in Sam’s, to the electric weight of Bucky’s—you wondered if, for once, you finally might.
The chaos had dulled. Yelena had passed out sideways on the couch, her braid tangled in a takeout box. Ava and Alexei disappeared an hour ago—something about a chessboard and bad Russian soap operas. Bob wandered off humming a lullaby in a different language.
Sam was at the door, pulling on his jacket while Joaquin tried to find both his shoes.
“I told you to keep them on,” Sam muttered, exasperated.
“They were cramping my style,” Joaquin replied, wobbling dramatically with one sock on. “Besides, Yelena dared me to do a split.”
Sam gave you a look like this is my life now.
You grinned, maybe a little dazed, leaning back against the counter in the kitchen. The vodka had crept up on you with slow fingers, leaving your limbs warm and your thoughts fuzzy around the edges. You weren’t drunk, but you were hovering somewhere on the ledge between honesty and recklessness.
“You good?” Sam asked softly, his voice low so the others wouldn’t hear.
You nodded. “Yeah. Just need to cool off. And maybe drink a gallon of water.”
Sam gave your shoulder a squeeze, lingering just a second longer than necessary. “Don’t disappear tonight.”
You blinked. “I won’t.”
“Good,” he said, but his eyes lingered, warm and heavy. Like he was seeing more than you wanted him to. “Call me if you need anything. You know that, right?”
You nodded again, trying to pretend you didn’t feel the heat of his hand even after he let go.
Joaquin blew you a kiss on his way out. “Don’t let the assassin bite.”
You rolled your eyes. “You’re thinking of Yelena.”
“Same energy,” he called, already halfway out the door.
The apartment fell quiet.
And then you realized you weren’t alone.
You turned — and found him there.
Bucky Barnes.
Leaning against the fridge, arms crossed, eyes unreadable.
You stiffened.
Of course he’d be the last one standing.
The buzz of alcohol still coursed through you, making everything feel a little lighter, a little less sharp. You weren’t sure if it was the drink or the chaotic energy of the night, but your mind had begun to drift in and out of clarity.
You slid off the counter, intending to steady yourself, but the room suddenly tilted, and you stumbled forward, your feet tangled up in the wayward stretch of your own legs.
Before you could hit the ground, there was a hand on your arm, warm and steady. Then another, pulling you back up with an ease that made your stomach flip. His chest was hard beneath your palm, his muscles flexing as he adjusted his grip, the heat of his body surrounding you like a wall.
Your breath caught in your throat, and you instinctively pressed your hand a little firmer against him, your fingers brushing the fabric of his shirt, feeling the warmth and strength underneath. He smelled like soap, leather, and something faintly metallic — unmistakable.
You slowly looked up, meeting his eyes, and for a split second, you forgot where you were. The intensity of his gaze—blues that seemed to see right through you—made your heart flutter uncomfortably. He didn’t pull away. Didn’t look away.
"Got you," he muttered, steadying you, his voice low.
You swallowed, suddenly aware of how close you were to him. How alive you felt in the space between you.
There was a moment of stillness. A breath.
"Are you... reading my aura?" he asked, his voice quieter now, though it carried a hint of teasing.
You tilted your head, eyes locking onto him, your lips parting slightly. "No, I'm just looking at you."
The words came out before you could stop them, and immediately, the flush of heat spread across your face. You couldn’t take your eyes off him. The way his muscles moved beneath his shirt when he adjusted his hold, how his eyes flickered for a second—soft, startled. Almost shy.
And then, just like that, you saw it. The faintest blush creeping up his neck. His cheeks flushed a soft pink, and for the first time tonight, he seemed... off-balance. The man who had walked into every room like he owned it, now suddenly unsure of himself. It felt like power. Like control slipping through his fingers.
You couldn’t help but smirk at that, though your head spun slightly, making it harder to focus.
"Didn't mean to make you self-conscious," you said, your voice a little slurred.
Bucky laughed softly, shaking his head. "No... you didn’t. Just... wasn't expecting that."
You both stood there for a beat, caught in the weird energy hanging between you. He still hadn’t let go, though you didn’t know if it was because you were still too wobbly to stand or because he was hesitant to break the tension. Either way, you didn’t pull away. The air felt thick, charged, and you could sense it—there was something about him that made you feel like you were about to do something you weren’t quite ready for.
But then, in a sudden shift, Bucky cleared his throat, letting go of your arm but standing close enough that you could still feel the heat radiating from him.
He didn’t say anything at first. Just stepped forward, opened the fridge, and pulled out a cold bottle of water. He held it out to you without a word.
You eyed it like it might explode.
“I’m not gonna poison you,” he said flatly.
“I didn’t say that.”
“You didn’t have to.”
Reluctantly, you took the bottle from his hand. Your fingers brushed his glove. Static popped between your skin. You pulled back too fast.
“Thanks,” you muttered.
Bucky didn’t move. He just watched you twist the cap, take a long sip, and then wipe your mouth with the back of your hand. You could feel his eyes on you. Focused. Cautious.
Like he was trying to piece you together.
“I guess tonight we learned that you shouldn’t mix vodka and Chinese food,” he murmured.
“Smartass. I’m fine. You sound like an Avenger,” you shot back. You weren’t even sure what you meant by that, or where the relevance was. Maybe you were also reminding yourself that you were an Avenger now, too.
“I am one.” He deadpanned.
“Yeah. Unfortunately.” You sighed.
He flinched—just a flicker of something in his jaw, something regretful—but didn’t fight you on it.
“You still hate me,” he said.
You looked away. “I haven’t decided.”
“Okay.”
“Okay.”
The silence stretched, soft and brittle.
You hated how nice the water felt. How steady he was, even when you didn’t want to trust him. He hadn’t tried anything. He hadn’t said anything clever or smug. Just… stood there. Let you exist in your tired, tipsy state without pushing.
“I can get you a cab,” he offered after a moment. “Or you can crash here. We’ve got spare rooms.”
“Why are you being so—” you stopped. Swallowed. “Why are you trying to take care of me?”
He held your gaze. “I just… I don’t know,” he looked away. “We’re family now. And family takes care of each other.”
Your throat tightened.
You wanted to say something cruel. Wanted to twist the knife, remind him of your brother, of what he did.
But the words wouldn’t come.
Because you didn’t feel like spiralling tonight.
Not when he looked at you like that.
Bucky hadn’t moved. You were still clutching the cold water bottle like it was a lifeline, and for once, he didn’t feel like a threat. Just a quiet presence, filling the silence without demanding anything from you.
You hated how easy it was to let your shoulders relax around him.
“I guess I’m just not used to this,” you muttered.
He tilted his head slightly. “Used to what?”
“Someone… noticing,” you said, voice low, almost embarrassed.
His blue eyes softened.
“I don’t need it, by the way,” you added quickly. “I’ve been fine on my own.”
Unlike Sam, Bucky didn’t contradict you. Didn’t say that doesn’t sound fine.
He just stayed quiet.
You didn’t look at him when you spoke again. “You’re not what I expected.”
He raised a brow. “Cold-blooded killer with a vibranium arm and a brooding attitude?”
“That’s not… entirely wrong,” you smirked faintly, despite yourself. “But you’re less of an asshole than I imagined.”
He chuckled, just once. A real one, deep and unexpected. “High praise.”
You took another drink of your water. Bucky watched. “What kind of name is Bucky, anyway? It’s kind of dumb.”
“My name is James,” He revealed, and something in you shifted at the revelation. A sliver of his personal life. “My sister was called Rebecca, and we called her Becky. My middle name is Buchanan, so my folks called me Bucky. Becky and Bucky.”
You felt your heart stop in your chest. “You have a sister?”
“Had,” Bucky corrected. “Being 111 years old means I don’t really have much family left.”
“Oh," Ditto. "So you’re really old. Like, older than my grandpa…”
Bucky frowned. 
“Do super soldiers die?” You pondered out loud.
“Yeah, sometimes.”
“How does one kill a super soldier?” You giggled through the water bottle, enjoying the sudden confidence that the alcohol had instilled in you.
“You’ve had way too much vodka,” Bucky huffed under his breath, extending his hand and having it hover over your shoulder, like he was afraid to touch you.
“No, no no no, trust me, if I were sober I’d be asking the same questions.” You laughed harder this time. Bucky stood there, watching you, confused, but then he finally let his hand rest upon you, and you let out a sigh you didn’t know you were holding in. 
"Come on," he said, a little more briskly, though his voice had the same softness as before. "Let's get you to bed. You need water."
You blinked, still a little dizzy, but nodded. "I’m fine," you protested, but the words felt like they slipped out half-heartedly.
He raised an eyebrow. "Sure you are."
The two of you walked quietly back into the living room, but you didn’t miss the way his hand floated just a little too close to your back, as though it might reach out again if you needed it.
But you didn’t need it. Or did you?
You weren’t sure.
You followed him down the corridor. The tower was dim, most of the lights on a motion sensor timer. You could still hear someone’s snores echoing faintly—probably Alexei, given the volume.
He stopped at a door and opened it for you. The room was surprisingly cozy. Not lavish, just… calm. A bed with fresh sheets, folded blankets, and a little chair by the window. It felt untouched, like it was waiting for you.
You stepped inside, but before you could say goodnight, Bucky’s voice followed you.
“Training starts at six.”
You turned, narrowing your eyes. “Seriously?”
“Dead serious,” he said. “You want to stay on the team, you train with me. Early.”
You groaned, already regretting everything.
“Water’s on the nightstand,” he added, nodding toward it. “And Tylenol in the drawer. You’re gonna want it.”
You didn’t thank him. Not out loud.
But you lingered in the doorway.
“Why are you like this?” you asked, quieter than before.
He looked at you, confused. “Like what?”
“Careful. Thoughtful. Like you’re trying to be better.”
He paused for a long time.
“Because I have to be,” he said. “If I’m not, then I’m just him again.”
Your breath caught. You didn’t have to ask who him was.
He turned to leave, but then hesitated.
“I see the way Sam looks at you,” he said, voice tight. “It’s not just a teammate thing.”
You blinked. That was the last thing you expected him to say.
You shrugged, feigning nonchalance. “Sam looks at everyone like that.”
“No,” Bucky said. “He doesn’t.”
You didn’t answer. Just stepped into the room and let the door click shut between you.
But even after you lay down, curled into the strange sheets and tried to close your eyes, you could still feel Bucky’s voice in the room with you.
And the strange, unwelcome comfort that came with it.
Bucky closed the door to his own room with a quiet click.
He leaned back against it, exhaled slowly, and raked a hand through his hair. The dim light from the hallway disappeared under the seam of the door, and for a moment, he stood there in silence. Listening. Thinking.
You.
God, you were loud in his head.
He moved across the room, sat on the edge of the bed like he was waiting for something to pass—some thought, some feeling—but it didn’t. It just kept building.
The way your lips had curled, tired but amused, when he’d handed you that bottle of water. That small smile like it wasn’t supposed to be there.
The way you looked tonight—dressed in soft cotton and drunk warmth, all fire and fight and something almost tender.
You had a sharp tongue. You didn’t hide your disdain for him. In fact, you wore it like perfume—thick and impossible to ignore.
But he saw the way your expression faltered when you thought no one was looking. The heaviness behind your posture. The moments where you softened, briefly, like you didn’t know how to hold it together anymore.
And your eyes—those damn eyes. Always reading. Always pulling more out of him than he gave.
He hated that.
He hated how much he noticed you. Hated how it pulled something out of him he didn’t have a name for.
You hated him. You should hate him.
And maybe that’s what made it worse. That he knew he didn’t deserve anything else.
But still…
Still, when he closed his eyes, it was your face he saw.
The tilt of your head. The sliver of skin at your collarbone. The sound of your laugh—rare, unpredictable.
He sat back on the bed and dragged a hand down his face.
“This is stupid,” he muttered to himself.
Feelings were messy. Dangerous. They clouded judgment. He didn’t want to want anything—not peace, not forgiveness, and definitely not you.
But wanting had a way of sneaking in. Quiet and slow and relentless.
He lay back on the bed, arm draped over his eyes, heart beating too loud in the stillness.
Tomorrow, he’d train you. Tomorrow, he’d look at you and pretend none of this mattered.
But tonight… he couldn’t stop thinking about the way you felt when you stumbled into his chest.
So, so stupid.
You hated him, and he hated you.
Or, he hated being hated by you.
────✪────
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atomicpirateperson · 2 days ago
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why is rob so mischievous??
here's a yapfest of 6 reasons i came up with!
some of this is essentially canon and some of this is just theorization. i really like analyzing rob's character and if anyone wants to shoot me an ask about him i'll be grateful :]
1. to not die.
rob ended up in the void because he was useless to the show. if he couldn't die from the lack of food or water there, he would have spent an eternity in isolation. it makes sense that he's afraid of what happens if he becomes useless again, so he really needs a niche. his dilemma starts because the only niche available is the antagonist. in his monologue from The Disaster, it's clear that villainy is far from his dream job and he feels forced to act this way.
2. for revenge and closure.
of course, revenge against gumball is his most iconic and obvious motivation. however, on a deeper level, i think it's about more than the wattersons. despite his behavior, rob might have a strong sense of morals and justice. for example, in The Rerun he couldn't bring himself to end gumball's life after being saved, and his guilt was clear.
as for the closure part, he can't undo any of the traumatic events in his life, but because of this strong sense of justice, he still needs something to do about it. he still needs to resolve this somehow and he chooses vengeance.
truthfully, most of these vengeful thoughts should be directed at the void, but he can't enact revenge on the universe itself. so, he targets the closest thing to take his anger out on: gumball. in fact, as a villain, rob never brings up gumball's past offenses. who knows, maybe he doesn't even care what gumball did!
3. as a creative outlet and source of purpose.
there's no doubting that rob likes to be theatrical and extra in his villainy. there's definitely some real passion put into it even though he doesn't have a choice.
as a homeless orphan who doesn't appear to be in school, he probably doesn't have much to do in life. he's a creative and imaginative person for sure, so he needs a way to express and entertain himself.
it's easy to interpret his melodramatic moments as pure acting/exaggeration, but it could also be a genuine coping mechanism and/or way of venting, which ties into the closure thing.
4. for control.
with no house or family to provide stability or support, control is something he has been robbed of in life (pun not intended).
his shenanigans might help him feel in-control and safe by taking control and safety from others. this is especially prominent in The Disaster/Rerun with the literal remote control that sends him into a power trip.
also, while it's partially his fault, other people don't listen to him, so he has to get what he wants through force. this is probably the reason why he worked towards his benevolent goals so forcefully in The Inquisition.
5. for attention.
6. to defend himself.
this is pretty self-explanatory. real kids show attention-seeking behavior just from having inattentive parents. with no parents and little to no friends, this is probably the case for him as well. regardless if the attention is negative or positive, he really needs to be noticed and talked to by others. this would also be an additional reason for why his actions are often gumball-centric because that puts him on screen, at the center of attention.
this one doesn't show up often. i'm mainly adding it because of the scene in The Future where gumball and darwin charge at him unprompted. sure, he went into defense mode first, but he wasn't the ones who literally killed him first and asked questions later (actually, they never asked why he was doing that). the episode would have ended differently if they stopped to pick up on the many clues that this wasn't just typical rob shenanigans. (interestingly, gumball was less presumptuous in encounters before this. maybe he and darwin were angry because banana joe and his mom had nothing to do with rob's evil upbringing... but at the same time they don't always care about joe that much)
outside of that, rob's crimes might also serve to intimidate others to keep himself safe. a homeless kid alone on the streets needs to deter dangerous people as much as possible.
...and that's all i have to say :] again lmk your thoughts about this!
and before somebody acts like it is: this is not meant to say that all of rob's actions were completely normal and justified. it's just a villain analysis don't start
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mysecret02 · 2 days ago
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Hello lovelies!
I have seen a post somewhere on Tumblr about RH!Jason meeting Robin!Jason and surprisingly liking him so I must comment on the idea.
So the batfamily trying to hide little Robin so he won't meet Red Hood but RH didn't tell them that he would be in the cave because he was there to steal supplies, which would have been given to him if he would do as much of asking, but he's still on and off with the bats so he just collects new antidotes and gadgets which were left outside- meaning weren't locked in impenetrable lockers- every month. Barbara was at the Clocktower as it became her place to lead the bats around from so the cave was free game to Jason.
The batmobile arrives and little Jay jumps out before anyone could stop him. He starts to look around and wander in awe of how much has changed and how much has stayed the same. I like to think the house got remodeled few years after him meeting his unfortunate and temporary end but the cave barely changed only got modernized and new rooms got added.
So he is in the back stealing a blanket he found comfortable- they have more anyways so it's not like B couldn't get a new one, just like he got a new kid- he thinks bitterly and starts to go back to the main area stuffing the blanket in his bag on the way when he hears the tires on the cave ground and just stops.
He sees the black haired little boy in a Robin costume and thinks he really needs to get Dick to talk to Bruce because it's getting out of hand. Damian was one thing but a new one and so soon, that's a lot messed up.
But then Robin!Damian gets out of the car and it doesn't make any sense anymore. The new kid didn't seem like a match to Damien in physich and the little demon didn't try to kill him so maybe another bastard?
Alfred appears and the new kid happily runs to him and yells about some time and universe twists? "Like that pastry you like to make on Sundays! Can I have it, can I have it pleese🥺?" and others start to gather around, parking their vehicles and fast walking towards the boy.
Spoiler gets to him first and ruffles his hair earning a yelp and an adorable blush as the boy fidgets with the seam of his cape, it's a familiar motion, he used to do it when he was still... Robin.
He just stands there, frozen in time, ice crawling in his veins, his ears are ringing and he holds the zip on the bag half-made, watching as his family loves him, that boy right in front of them and he wants to yell "But I am right here!" and "Why can't you love me if you can love me-him?!" but he can't, he is so mad yet he just stands there watching as Cass calls him her little brother and the kid lookes up at Damian with sparkling eyes of a kid who suddenly has a sibling his age so he won't ever need to play alone. Dick looks at him as if the world gave him hope after showing him everything bad in it. Steph just calls him cute continuously and he shouldn't be jealous of being called cute but he always liked when someone complimented him or just cared enough to say something nice, that's partially why he tried to get Batman to smile. It was his new dad and his greatest achievement was making his caretaker happy like he never could before because his mom was too deep in addiction and dad needed to work a lot for two-face so they could pay rent until B said he wasn't his son anymore, then everything went downhill.
He wants to back away, he can wait in the medical wing or sneak out through the cave systems. And as his boots scraped the ground little Jay looked straight at him. His mask wasn't on anymore, his blue eyes, a shade he can't see in the mirror anymore, looking curious, interest clearly peeked as everyone else noticed it too.
Worried and pale looks were switching between the faces. The voices died down, the silence was deafening, his breathing starting again but being too erratic.
Bruce tried to put his hand on little Jay's shoulder but he slipped away and walked closer to Red Hood. He wasn't wearing his helmet but he was wearing his full uniform sans the guns, he didn't like making Alfie mad, who was watching the scene unfold with shiny eyes.
They met in the middle and when did he start walking? He looked at the small child wearing his favourite Wonder Woman socks B always scolded them because a small seam was showing. His unruly black curls with barely showing red roots because he wanted to look like Dickie and no sign of white at the front. He still had a crooked teeth Barbara sat him down and explained how much it can make chewing painful in the future and made sure Alfie took him to the dentist's.
More and more little signs showing up on his small form, his little mannerisms, the way he played with his fingers and the seams of his costume and he couldn't be mad at this child, he was just a kid doing his best. And Red Hood notorious crime lord and protector of Crime Alley had a reputation for having a soft spot for kids.
He got down on his knees -and God the kid was small-not much bigger than him on his knees and hugged the kid. He cradled his hand through his thick curls like he rememberd his mom doing it and pulling him sideways on his lap, little Jay's head being on his armored jacket. He heard a tentative whisper: "You look big like dad...-he buried his face in his neck-but you love me..?"
It made him smile in a bitter but comfortable way as he hugged himself closer and somehow they got on the couch in the library with the blanket on little Jay's shoulder and partially on Jason's own, reading to himself on the voice of his dad he always hated after the pit and finding it not that bad anymore, he could bring comfort even looking like this, maybe being this way wasn't so bad, if only for little Jay. They stayed like that until the other universe's Batman came to collect his little bird and bring him home. Maybe it was enough to have changed things there. Maybe.
The family feltdumb folded and monitored the interactions between the two Jasons but there was nothing out of the ordinary, no long lasting physical damage to be seen. Just one soul and two stories interlining and mixing, maybe it can change the future here too." Maybe" thought Bruce and put the blanket on a sleeping Red Hood, his son.
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izumiphoenix · 3 days ago
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Reflecting in Their Eyes
(5/? part of “Astarion: In Search of True Self” — [masterpost here])
The episode where Astarion is looking in the mirror, quietly questioning his appearance, is one of my absolute favorites.
Since he is a vampire, we know he doesn’t cast a reflection. So at first glance, it seems a little bit pointless… unless! He was trying to make Tav notice, to draw them into a conversation without saying it directly (and it worked!) - isn't it just a sweet way to set up a difficult conversation without being too obvious about it, but at the same time not hiding it too hard? One might say it is another manipulation, but I rather like such a subtle approach. On the other hand, you can see in the camp that Astarion always has a mirror in his tent, so maybe I’m wrong in my assumption.
When Tav asks if he misses seeing his face, Astarion reluctantly, with a snarky comment, admits he does and confesses that he hasn’t seen his reflection since the night he was turned. He doesn’t even remember much about how he looked before.
In my story, I chose an option where Tav takes a moment to quietly study him. When he asked, “What?” she simply said, “I can be your mirror. What do you want to see?” And Astarion answered with something I didn’t expect him to say out loud, yet somehow knew was coming:
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“I want to know what the world sees when looks at me. What you see.”
(There’s a more intense version too, where Tav simply says “I see you.” And in that moment, he’s stretched taut like a string - waiting, terrified, hopeful.)
He is quiet at first, but breaks into a smile, realizing what they are doing, when Tav starts describing him - those strong, piercing eyes, they say. And when they get to that “dangerous smile,” he interrupts with a grin:
“Just say I’m beautiful and we can call it a day.”
It may seem like he is back to his usual flirty sass, but I believe he was just incredibly relieved and even flustered to hear that they don’t see him, a vampire spawn, as a monster, but still find him attractive and beautiful. So the shield is up again, back to the safer tone, when the moment is over and he has confirmed what he wanted to know - not to push Tav away, but falling back into familiar habits because opening up like that is so much.
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Watch his body language: he turns away, putting some distance between them, as if to regulate the emotions stirred by the moment. He seems overwhelmed, uncertain what face he should make right now, but he is still listening, still thinking. People often look into the distance like that when they’re remembering something - like he does, still processing Tav's words.
But the important thing is: those words weren’t just about his physical appearance, but also his personality or, rather, his presence, because “strong piercing eyes” and “dangerous smile” speak more about the inner qualities rather than outer beauty.
And when Tav does say - “You are beautiful” - Astarion is clearly lifted and cheered, especially compared to the beginning of their conversation. I just love this episode, it is so sweet and touching!
For someone who carefully cultivates control over his appearance, who hides his uncertainty beneath vanity, it is a big deal to open up like that and admit he is actually unsure about his looks. And to someone he is starting to trust. And it’s not just about his looks. When he asks how Tav sees him, it’s also a quiet test: he realizes he is developing feelings for them (well, at least for me, this episode was right before his confession), and he finds a way to find out if his feelings might be returned. It’s a subtle way of asking, “Is it possible for you to see me behind this appearance?”
This is the first moment he let his guard down to show something fragile underneath. To see how they react when he is not playing the role. He showed us small glimpses before, but this is the first time Astarion lowered his defenses that low. And when Tav doesn't recoil, mock or dismiss him but stays warm and sincere, it reassures him that he is safe and seen with them. And he dares to tell them the truth - about his feelings and his "simple plan".
This moment is one of the most breathtaking parts of their journey together that yet again connects to our next realization - I want to talk about it in the next post.
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<back to masterpost>
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katerinaaqu · 2 days ago
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Oh absolutely you do not even need to agree. I am only expressing my own personal opinion and why I have the stance I have but of course you can like it is up to you and of course you can be eager on it or see only the positive it brings. It definitely is your opinion. I respect it. 🙏 I only express why I do not like it
Yup exactly or that people think that in order to do something "trendy" instead on focusing on making it more accurate they do exactly what you say. Basically use the popularity of an old tale to do their random and original stuff they just use the names for popularity and then Basically not do anything of that tale they adapt said or stood for.
Yup you get it. Or worse that you do not matter. "It is popular so who cares?" "There are versions so this is equivalent to your ancient history" or "it is a fake story and fanfiction who cares?" And as you said use it only for anesthetics and fun instead of truly appreciating it. Do we feel happy that our stories continue to inspire? Sure. But why do we need to pay the price of being used like a happy meal advertisement all the time? (By the way I would love to hear more about your culture too)
Oh please not at all do not feel like that because as I said you did your research you actually got curious and showed interest. This definitely is how you are being respectful and you do use your inspiration and enthusiasm for actually delving into it and that is definitely the best way to do it. The fact that you liked the result doesn't make you morally inferior in any way absolutely not. You must never apologize for the things you like especially since you delve into the roots of this culture.
Please never apologize. You must never apologize to anyone since you know and you do separate some things. You enjoy music and you enjoy the feeling of coming together and you definitely bring a good point that indeed in a world where art is underrated (and I know because my brother is a professional musician and barely manages to work at celebrations) artists managed to elevate their careers and make a name for themselves and push forward and indeed that is great the same as it is great that people like you come out of it that actually delve deep and do not consider the retelling as 5he source
But yes speaking on sources should have been the rule not the exception and unfortunately it isn't happening. I definitely understand how such efforts are appreciated which is why I am disappointed because it would have been so awesome if he had used that talent to actually promote the Odyssey instead of something that just uses the Odyssey as a name.
Here's one example that I discussed with a friend; instead of the ridiculous culturally "600 strikes" that made Poseidon one of the most powerful gods look like a boasting idiot and his previous "get in the water" badass song appear like useless empty threats Here's an idea:
Why on earth didn't he put a duet battle between Poseidon and Leucothea?
Like Leucothea appearing giving him her belt. He could play again with the "get in the water" pattern but this time Leucothea encourages him. Then she fights with Poseidon to protect Odysseus..maybe fails miserably but keeps going on occasion singing "get in the water" Odysseus struggling in the water calling for help or chanting the names of people he lost as he struggles. He could make use of the suffering pattern here like Leucothea singing to Poseidon to take the suffering from him.
Even better use the same voice actress of Penelopw to play Leucothea and use the same pattern of Odysseus finding strength hence etc and that is only one example that one could use and make it loose but still be more respectful to the text but given the changes it wouldn't mean much at that point but GOSH would I appreciate it more than whatever the hell happened in that saga!
Thank you for understanding and please do not feel the need to change your taste or opinion on the musical swayed by this only. But I am happy that you understand where I come from and of course I will continue my work even if no one sees it because that is MY passionate project!
Most people on Tumblr: Yay! We can have a musical based on the Iliad! Me after seeing what happened with Odyssey plot especially the last saga and the fandom logic inserting the ancient sources (again):
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twig---verginix · 2 years ago
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thinking about season 3 this morning. as a viewer, the introduction of the "Jennifer incident" felt almost cheap, at first– it's so painfully not present in any previous seasons that peels back the layers a little bit, forces you into blinking and saying heyyyyyy. you're making that shit up now. >:/. But I think it can work diegetically, even if it wasn't planned.
It presents it this way: not only has fucking with the timeline forever impacted the present world that these characters reside in and the only other people they'll ever interact with, but it's also impacted their past, their story. Not changed, per say, but more unlocked it. Like taking different actions in a video game and getting more dialogue. And it drives the viewer away from the Umbrellas in the process, widening the gap between where we are and where they are, knowledge-wise, which arguably does a nice job of adding to that off atmosphere that Hotel Oblivion seems to be going for.
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fragmentedblade · 2 years ago
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I've been reading about xiangqi a bit and now I'm even more obsessed with that one video of Jing Yuan
#Obsessed with the fact they made a point of him not leaving the palace#Anyway I was rewatching this because I still find very amusing that you can see when he steals that piece from the board#Which is something that makes I think more sense considering the ways in which you can check and win in this game#It seems pretty fun actually I think I'll try. Maybe with this being different this time I'll be able to convince someone to play with me#No one wants to indulge me when it comes to chess and I don't like playing online#Hmm actually this game seems less unpleasant to play non physically based on aesthetics#With chess I always have to take out a physical board and it's sort of annoying. The pocket chess I carry around is not much better#Yes I think I'll give xiangqi a try. And look for good books about it and its evolution. I hope I find something#It's always so hard to find things worth reading about topics like these. Like with fencing. Still unsure about what I got about that#After rewatching the video again I have half a mind to make gifs to keep track of his moves. I just really find it very amusing#I love how the move and what is happening in the rest of the video work with what we see him do in the actual game#Personality wise yes but strategically#I think I actually rambled about this in a post a few days ago? Oh wait that was in my main blog I think#I don't know why I make sideblogs if I end up reblogging the posts in the main after all. I always do the same thing#I'll stop now but oh I am really so so fond of him. I think I could talk for hours haha#I talk too much#Jing Yuan#Right now it doesn't seem to appear in the general tag for me but I'll check in a bit again#I really don't know how to organise my rambles anymore with this feature#I miss the five tags thing#Now no matter how much I talk it seems the general tag will always find my posts
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corameiwrites · 2 months ago
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𖦹 i want somebody to want 𖦹
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pair: jason todd x gn!reader
plot: When you turn 21, the name of your soulmate appears on your forearm. Not everyone is born with a soulmate, and Jason Todd never thought he would have one. 
wc: 2k
authors note: I remember reading in a fic somewhere about the Wayne Scholarship, and I forgot who/where I read it exactly, so credit to them whoever they are. Also, some characters may seem a little ooc and tbh I don't really care. I had fun writing this which is all that matters, and I hope you have fun reading it!
pt. 2
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The place Dick had dragged Jason to wasn’t all that bad, considering it was located in Blüdhaven. Unless it was near the University area, there was always something sinister and more corrupt happening under the alcohol, vomit, and blood-stained floors of Gotham bars. Normally no amount of bribery or guilting could make him voluntarily dress up and go out drinking with his older brother, but today was not normal. 
It was his twenty-first birthday. 
Meaning that by 11:59 tonight, if a name didn’t appear somewhere on one of his arms, he was destined to be alone. Not everyone is born with a soulmate, and realistically, after all the shit he’s been through, Jason Todd never thought he would have one. Despite that, there was some sort of dread slowly filling his body the more he thought about it. Maybe it was that small flame of the little boy he used to be—before Robin and the Bat and the Joker—igniting at the chance of finally having one. It was the same boy who would trace his parents’ names on their wrist, asking them to tell him once more how they met, what they felt seeing the names appear on their skin. Unfortunately, that little boy would be let down yet again by the end of the night. 
His plans had originally been to stay in his main apartment (the one where he stored all his books and indulged in a comfy couch), buy a 6-pack of the cheapest beer and get drunk alone. That was ruined, however, when he received multiple annoying texts from Dick, begging to go out for drinks tonight, specifying multiple times that it would be on him. Jason told himself the only reason he agreed was for the free drinks and to keep himself from checking his forearm every five goddamn seconds (a night out with Richard Grayson was known to be entertaining and unpredictable).
If it was Dicks plan to get Jason blackout drunk, he was doing a pretty good job of it. After agreeing he would be the designated driver, Dick had laid back on the drinks and only taken 3 of the five rounds of shots they had already ordered. Jason was opening up bit by bit, reminiscing on their childhood together. By his fifth shot, smiling seemed to come easier to Jason. 
Currently, they were both watching the flatscreen hung behind the bar showing a news channel covering Batman and Robin putting an end to another bank robbery. 
Dick pointed at the screen. “Damian learned that move from me.” 
“No, I taught him that.” 
“I’m the one who taught you that move when you were younger, big dummy,” Dick teased. 
“Oh, I forgot.” Jason's tone lost its joking edge, and Dick looked over at him. “You know,” he continued almost somberly. “Ever since coming back, I seem to forget a lot of things.” 
His eyes were glued to the screen, watching as Batman jumped out a window in pursuit of the bad guy. Robin shouted after him.
“You’ve been through hell and back, Todd. Normal people wouldn’t have been able to handle it the way you did.” 
“No, you see, that's the thing.” Jason's voice was frustrated, his previous smiles gone. His brows furrowed the longer he ranted. “I’m not normal. I cycle through apartments and bunkers like crazy to help me lay low. I sleep in until 3 pm and I put a helmet on to chase down crazy guys with guns for hours at night. The public knows me as some traumatized kid who somehow survived a terrorist attack.” He pauses to take a gulp of beer, slamming the glass onto the bar, lifting his arm to wipe his mouth. Dick watched his jacket slip down his arm.
“Jason–”
“I don’t have a home, I don’t have a stable routine, I don’t even have life insurance!” Dick had somehow managed to get the former deceased and outlaw brother of his drunk and ranting about life. And the worst part? Nobody was ever going to believe him.
“Jason,” Dick puts a hand on his younger brother's shoulder, gripping him like a vice. His eyes never left his arm. “Your soulmate.”
Both of them are silent for a moment. Jason sighs, shaking his head. 
“Damn, you're good at this.Yeah, it's about the soulmate thing.”
“You fucking idiot,” Dick slaps him on the back of his head. “Look at your arm!” 
Dick watched as Jason stared him in the eyes, his brain clearly trying to catch up with what his brother was insinuating. When he finally looked down, it was comedic the way his eyes bulged at the fresh ink on his left arm. Dick tried his best to keep his excitement at bay, biting back his proud smile. His grumpy, tough, and borderline psychotic little brother had a soulmate. After a couple more seconds of silence, Jason cursed under his breath.
“I’m too sober for this,” Jason mumbled, chugging down the rest of his beer.  
Dick laughs, waving the bartender over and handing him a card to close their tab. Jason slams the empty cup down, staring straight ahead at nothing in particular. “I have a soulmate.”
“Yeah man, congratulations!” Dick pats his brother on the back, but recoils at Jason turning abruptly and staring him dead in the eye. 
“I have a soulmate.”
“I…yeah, you do bud.”
“...I have a soulmate.” He repeats, annunciating each word, as if he can’t believe it. “I need to find them,” Jason says, standing and walking towards the exit of the bar. 
“Woah, Jason–” Dick hurriedly stands, apologetically yelling for the bartender and grabbing his card. Rushing outside, he sees Jason recklessly crossing the street to the parking lot. “Slow down!” 
Jason stands awkwardly next to Richard Grayson's blue convertible, clambering over the door and into the passenger seat. Dick watches from across the street, shaking his head with a smile, making his way to the car. He couldn’t find it in himself to be annoyed with Jasons drunken behavior. 
Hopping in the driver's seat, Dick puts the keys into the ignition. “Alright loverboy, where are we going?”
“The mansion,” Jason struggles to get his seatbelt on (Dick intervenes). “The Batcave’s computer can find anyone.”
“Huh. That’s actually really smart considering you're drunk.” 
“I’m not. Just shut up and drive.”
Dick laughs, hitting the gas pedal and doing as he was told.
✮ ⋆ ˚。𖦹 ⋆。°✩  ♡  ✩˚。⋆𖦹。°⋆✮ 
Bruce was home early, having quickly left the bank robbers tied up as Gordons responsibility. Currently, he was sitting in the library going over a case file. Damian had already gone to bed when he had gotten an alert of a vehicle coming up the manor's driveway. He checked the security cameras in the garage and was shocked to see his eldest rushing to the passenger side of the car to stop his sluggish brother from falling out. At first, Bruce had thought that he was poisoned or impaired in some way. He called for Alfred, asking him to prepare the medical rooms to tend to Jason. A few short minutes later, he heard faint voices approaching. 
“I used to live here before I died, I know where I’m going.”
“Clearly not, we passed the entrance already.”
“The old man has a sensor on that door. We need to take the entrance in one of the bookshelves, they don’t notify him when someone enters.”  No one but Alfred was supposed to know that. 
“I doubt it’ll matter, he’s out fighting crime with—oh shit!” Bruce watched through his freakish peripheral vision as two figures hurriedly backed away from the doorway of the library. “Code Bat! Code Bat!” Dicks voice had dropped to a whisper, though not so quiet that Bruce couldn’t hear. 
“B’s here?” A head with a white streak of hair popped through the doorway before quickly vanishing. “Oh no.” 
“It’s only 11:45, what is he doing lounging around?”
Bruce chuckled quietly, now coming to the realization that they weren’t drugged or in danger; they were just drunk. Jason especially, which made sense. Quietly, he sent Alfred a message telling him to disregard the request. He feigned ignorance to their presence, going as far as flipping pages of the case file in his lap while they bickered, attempting to formulate a plan. Listening in to their not very secretive conversation, Bruce deduced that they had come to find Jason's soulmate on the Bat computer. It was his 21st afterall, and why else would he come drunkenly to the home he tried so hard to stay away from? Bruce found himself smiling for the boy. He had been through so much, and he deserved to have some good in his life. He only hoped that whoever they were, they took care of him in places where Bruce failed. 
Sighing exaggeratedly, he stood, stretched and slowly made his way to the doorway, listening as the two brothers hushed. He allowed himself one last second of respite before wiping the smile off his face and walking out into the dark hallway. Dick stood alone, leaning against the wall and whistling. He turned his head, seeing Bruce standing, observing him. 
“Oh, hey Bruce! I’ve been looking for you.” Dick pushed off the wall, going to stand next to his Father. “I thought I’d visit, wait for you to get home, but you’re here!”
“What do you need?” 
“Oh nothing much,” taking Bruce's arm, he began to drag him in the opposite direction, past the library. “I just got nostalgic, and wanted to take a trip down memory lane with my Pops.” 
“You smell like alcohol.”
“Like I said, I was feeling nostalgic!”
Dick rattled on, leading him down the dark halls, and Bruce noticed Jason slipping into the library. He smiled, turning his attention back to his eldest. He couldn’t find himself to be angry about his sons keeping secrets from him. If he felt anything about tonight's endeavor, it was disappointment. Bruce Wayne had taught his sons to be sneakier than they had been tonight. 
✮ ⋆ ˚。𖦹 ⋆。°✩  ♡  ✩˚。⋆𖦹。°⋆✮
Jason, in his drunken haste, had almost tripped down the short flight of steps leading to the massive computer. He couldn't really blame the alcohol though—it was his fault for looking down at his arm every couple seconds, as though the black ink would fade away before he ever found out who you were. Even if it did, he had already committed the name to memory.
He knew how many letters were in your name, the number of syllables in the different parts of it. Despite this, he hadn’t yet spoken it out loud. For the last 30 minutes of his life, every breath he took held a certain weight to it, and the beating of his heart had persisted to be about 120 beats per minute.
He blamed it on the alcohol, but logically he knew the reason.
 That little boy—the one he thought was dead and buried—was coming back to life, crawling his way out of the depths of Jason and settling into his gut. 
His hand shook as he typed the name, every click of the keyboard ringing dully in his skull. Inhaling deeply, Jason hesitated for only a moment before clicking enter. Your name popped up surprisingly quickly, specifically registered under the “Wayne Scholarship” file.
His hand moved by its own volition and the link was clicked, a government ID popping up on the display. 
Staring up at the photo of you in awe, his eyes flickered to the name and back to the photo, unbelieving that this was you. Your simple beauty was evident even through the low quality government ID.
He stared for a while, just taking in you. It was a little odd looking at the huge screen, knowing that you two were made for each other. The thought only made his heart speed up even more. 
Digging into your file, he finds that you’re 20 and won’t be turning 21 for another seven months. The knowledge that he knows and you don’t makes him nauseous.
Clenching the edge of the table, he remembers that the reason he found you so quick was due to the Wayne Scholarship. You moved to Gotham for your third year of college to attend Gotham University, with most of the tuition paid for as long as you agree to stay away from any and all crime. Suddenly, he had found another reason to be thankful that Bruce was filthy rich. Your current residence was an old apartment complex in the University area, which was for the most part, free of crime. The more information he got from Bruce Wayne's files, the more his stomach fluttered. 
That little boy was practically jumping up and down inside of him, chanting over and over again, “I knew it! I knew we would have a soulmate!”. As the information sunk in, he began to shake more violently, and he felt like his legs were barely holding his weight. In fear of throwing up or collapsing on the floor (or both), he fell backwards into Bruce's chair. A tear slid down Jason’s cheek, and then another, and another. 
For the first time in a long time, Jason Todd sobbed.
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dollishmehrayan · 1 month ago
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# “I NEED YOUR LOVING, LIKE THE SUNSHINE, EVERYONE’S GOT TO LEARN SOMETIME.” ── .✦ ( batboys when they have a crush on you ⋆౨ৎ˚⟡˖ )
dollish note ౨ৎ: yes this is based off that one korgis song and if you know it, your elite marry me immediately anywayss I need like more cute events to do omgg and guys I’m going to look for a new divider edition but the bunny will always stay don’t worryyy tags: (batboys x reader)
© dollishmehrayan — ( all rights reserved to me. These works cannot be reposted, translated, or modified. Thank you for understanding dollies! )
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DICK GRAYSON ── .✦
He’s so obvious. Everyone knows. Even villains probably know, even you probably know but we always play hard to get. (that’s js me sorry)
Overly casual compliments: “Wow, you look… good. Like, really good. Is that new? No? I just never noticed how great you always look??”
Purposely hangs around you way more than necessary. “Oh wow, fancy seeing you here again... at this coffee shop... at this exact time... for the fifth time this week…”, “uh.. sure okay dick.”
Gets physically flustered. You smile at him and he bumps into a wall.
Brings you little gifts like coffee, snacks, or something you mentioned once two months ago that he totally remembered.
Accidentally lets it slip to Barbara. You find out two days later because she’s evil (and supportive). GIRL BOSSSSS
RASON RODD (IF YKYK) ── .✦
Denies it to everyone. Even himself. “Me? Crushing? Pfft. Please. I'm just being nice. I’m always this nice. Shut up.”
Acts all chill and tough but turns into a sarcastic teddy bear when you're around.
Tries not to care but notices everything about you like when you’re tired, upset, or need space.
Gets really protective, then downplays it. “Yeah I threatened that guy because he was being annoying. Not because he was flirting with you. Nope.” ( our little nonchalant guy )
Will read/watch your favorite stuff in secret so he can talk about it with you, then pretends he hated it. “No, I didn’t like it. But the plot twist in episode 7 was wild. Just sayin’.”
Probably punches a wall the first time someone calls him out. Literally everyone in the family: “Just ask them out already.”
TIM DRAKE ── .✦
Has a million tabs open on “how to tell if someone likes you back.”
Obsesses over every text you send. Sends a reply. Deletes it. Writes a better one. Deletes that too. Eventually sends “lol yeah same” and regrets it instantly.
Runs into you and forgets how to function for 3 seconds. “Hey—hi—hey. Sorry. I mean. Hello.”
Will research your interests so he can impress you or casually bring them up. “Oh, you’re into ___? I read a couple papers about that, super cool stuff.”
Accidentally calls you “cute” in passing, then vanishes for two days to a point you wonder if he might appear on the missing website thing.
You find out he has a playlist called “maybe someday” and the first song is something painfully romantic.
DAMIAN WAYNE ── .✦
Pretends he doesn’t like you. Like, aggressively. But it’s so obvious.
Gives you weirdly thoughtful gifts and says things like, “I noticed you were using inferior supplies.”
Blushes if you compliment him. Denies he’s blushing. “Tt. The temperature is simply warm.”
Subtly changes his schedule to be around you more. He’ll be in the library when you’re there, in the gym at the same time it’s definitely not a coincidence (even though he insists it is).
Draws you. Like, sketches. Constantly. Says it’s “for anatomy practice.”
Acts annoyed when you talk to someone else, then pouts in a corner like a feral cat.
BRUCE WAYNE ── .✦
He doesn’t even realize it at first. It hits him out of nowhere, like genuinely out of thin air.
Brooding increases by 200%. He stares off into space, thinking about you, and Alfred has to snap him out of it.
Becomes awkwardly formal. “Would you… perhaps… like to join me for dinner? I understand if that’s… inconvenient.” ( like despite being a former player and all and smoothhh as hell when he genuinely likes someone he can’t be smooth, your like his Andrea beaumont but if they worked out )
Totally asks Alfred for advice. Alfred gives him the same advice he gave him at 16.
When you smile at him, he short-circuits a little. You get a rare, soft Bat-smile in return.
Once he’s sure of his feelings, he’s all in but oh boy, it takes a while.
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mommypieck · 1 year ago
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⌗︙・jjk men waking up after a wet dream about you ⸜⸜・
gojo
a small chuckle leaves his mouth when he wakes up from a pleasant dream about you. his cock is aching for attention, precum already building at the top. it's the first time he had a dream about you. not to lie, he fantasized about your cute little body before but never in a dream. he wraps his hand around his cock and tries to remember little details about the dream. the way you would bounce on his cock or your little hand wrapped around it. he's not ashamed, you're a pretty girl after all. but from your behavior, he can see that you're shy and timid. maybe he can ask you out to turn his dream true. he speeds his hand around his cock, bringing himself closer to his orgasm. he thinks about a specific scene from his dream - you spread in front of him with your fingers in your cunt. he cums at the thought, covering his hand with his cock. he giggles, gojo hopes he will have similar dream soon.
geto
he wakes up with sweat on his forehead, groaning when he notices his hard on. the girl in his dream was too similar to you, same hair, eyes, body type. he can't believe he had this kind of dream about you. it was a good dream, he has to say. geto can't decide if he should take a cold shower and forget about everything or take care of his little problem. after all, he's gonna see you today and he doesn't wanna be awkward. his lips turn into a little smile as he thinks about what would happen if you saw what he is about to do. or what if you had the same dream? mmm, you took his cock so well in his dream, would you be able to do that in real life? he's seen your tiny ass move in your little skirts, you would have problem taking him for sure. fuck it, he thinks as he wraps his hand around his cock. he softly massages his shaft, imagining that it's your tiny hand stroking him. all problems leave him in that moment, he's gonna relive that dream now and hopefully later today when he invites you over.
nanami
he groans when he finally opens his eyes to meet a familiar decor of his room. he doesn't wanna think about it, he doesn't wanna think about how hard his cock is right now. he throws his arm around his eyes, trying to breathe deeply to forget all about the dream. he hasn't had a wet dream since he was a teenager and now someone like you is gonna make them pop up again? he thought you were cute when he first met you but he never thought you would be capable of doing such a slutty things. it was just a dream, he has to remind himself, maybe you are innocent. he taps his fingers on his cock, he really doesn't wanna do this. nanami tries to think of different porn starts he's seen online but his thoughts come back to you. his hand finally grips his cock and he squeezes it until it's painful. it's all your fault, maybe it you weren't so cute, he wouldn't have to do this.
toji
she's even haunting me in my dream, toji thinks when he wakes up. his cock is already standing proudly, just begging for him to take it in his hand. he doesn't waste any time wrapping his hand around it. he always thought you were pretty, your body is basically all he ever dreamed about. it's not the first time you appeared in his dream but this time, he is certain that it was you. all of the other dreams were blurry but this one was way more vivid. he strokes his cock slowly, thinking about the way you bended for him in that dream. the only thing that's pissing him off is that you're not here with him right now, that you can't use your mouth or your little pussy on him. he feels himself getting close as he thinks about all the things he would do to you if he could. he cums on his hand, surprising himself how strong this orgasm was. there's something about you and he has to find out what it is.
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sevsgiirl · 2 months ago
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— do the girls back home touch you like i do?
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sevika x insecure!reader. men and minors dni.
synopsis: having feelings for the most feared woman in zaun had more cons than it did pros - her being popular amongst women and a regular at the brothel just to name a few. it hurt because you knew with her history there’s no way she’d return your feelings… right?
word count: 5.5k words.
tags: insecure!reader, jealousy, miscommunication, public sex, oral sex, vaginal fingering, porn with feelings, top!sevika, bottom!reader.
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it was silly, honestly.
you knew it was a shot in the dark for sevika to reciprocate your feelings. much or less consider you an option on her roster.
sevika gets around. there was no denying that, and you’ve come to terms with it the second you caught these stupid little feelings that just wouldn’t go away. no matter how hard you tried.
you assumed it would. back when silco hired you to be his informant, you saw the opportunity as nothing more but an upgrade from your previous jobs. it’s safe to say, you’ve gone through a lot just to get to where you are now. whether it was scrubbing the floors of a dingy, run-down diner that made jericho’s look like a michelin star restaurant, to going as far as thinking about working at babette’s.
but then silco saw some potential in you that not a lot of people have seen before, and you were grateful for it. a lot of your co-workers were tolerable, just as long as you looked past the carnage of their jobs, it was pretty easy to get by when working for silco because he never really asked you to get your hands dirty.
no, he asked sevika to do that.
you knew she was different from the others the second you laid eyes on her. she remained unyielding in the eyes of catastrophe, she gets the job done no matter how tedious the assignments were, and she navigates through life like an enigma.
you were intimidated by her at first. when she walked into a room, her presence demanded to be felt, crowds of people would always make space for her to walk through and she could silence someone with just the heat of her glare. it was then you understood why she was silco’s number two.
but despite her brooding personality, you couldn’t help but gravitate towards her. maybe it was the allure of wanting something you can’t have, but every time you were sent on a mission with her, this desire to know her better always tempted you. even though you wouldn’t know the first thing to say to strike up a conversation with the older woman, you couldn’t deny that what you felt was beyond just physical attraction. you were intrigued by everything about her.
it tethered the line of obsession but hadn’t quite got there yet, the better way to describe it was infatuation.
she’d occupy your thoughts but not so much to the point that she was all you thought about, but when you did, you had to force yourself to snap out of it before it became borderline creepy, and you wanted to justify your feelings thinking she wouldn’t feel the same in a million years.
not only that, but her reputation precedes her.
you knew your hesitation to make a move stemmed more from just being shy or thinking you wouldn’t get along with the older woman, and it was because her sexual proclivities scared the hell out of you.
again, she gets around, far more than most people. before you worked for silco, rumors regarding his second in command traveled through the streets of zaun in whispers, whether it was good or bad, it didn’t really matter.
one detail that caught the attention of many, specifically those of women, were her frequent nights spent at the gardens. you couldn’t deny that aside from being incredibly scary, so much of sevika’s appeal came from her appearance as well - her tall stature, impressive built, corded muscles, the rigged lines and hard angles of her face. she was just as beautiful as she was domineering.
that’s why it didn’t surprise you that women tend to set aside her notoriety in hopes of sleeping with her, but that doesn’t mean the thought didn’t cause your insides to flare up with jealousy.
as mentioned, you thought about working for babette at one point. when your low paying jobs in the past couldn’t suffice to get you through the week, the idea came to mind on some occasions. but you knew it wasn’t easy work, not to mention your looks paled in comparison to the girls you’d seen working there. all slim waists, toned arms, long legs, big tits and even bigger asses.
you didn’t possess any of the traits that made the girls there appealing.
you just set aside the idea because your ego wasn’t big enough to make you think you were up for the job, and knowing that’s where sevika prefers to spend most of her nights made your insecurities worse.
especially when she’d stroll through the last drop late at night littered with hickeys and bite marks around her neck that she’d let the world see without shame, and how you’d just ogle at them with the ugliest emotions churning in the pits of your stomach.
it didn’t help when silco’s men would poke fun at her for it “damn, was the night that rough? you gotta take it easy on those girls.” they’d joke as a sly grin would make its way on her face.
“they love it,” would be her response, which would earn a roar of laughter from the group meanwhile you’d walk away after eavesdropping, with a heaviness in your chest that wasn’t there minutes ago as you tried to erase the image of sevika indulging herself with countless women.
you understood the intention behind it. you knew it was her way of escaping the stress of silco’s workload, and having sex with multiple women was just as much of a coping mechanism as gambling and drinking was.
that doesn’t mean it wasn’t any less painful to think about, even though you knew you couldn’t have stood a chance.
because how could you? who even were you in the bustling, chaotic world that is sevika’s life? if simply nothing more than just her co-worker?
𐙚 ˙ ⋆ .˚
you didn’t think she’d ever acknowledge you outside of work.
you’ve had your fair share of interactions but it was all professional so those don’t count. you were delusional but you weren’t delusional enough to think that your quick conversations about paychecks and shipment were considered bonding.
it wasn’t until an incident transpired in one of her missions where silco asked you to come along, and it so happened that the firelights decided it was a good day to ambush you, sevika and the rest of the team.
you cowered away from the commotion because it’s not like you possessed any of sevika’s combative skills. you were an informant, for crying out loud.
but you weren’t quick on your feet, and when the leader of the firelights threw one of their bombs in your direction you were crystallized in place near the cargos, unable to move.
you knew the crystals would dissolve after five minutes, you were aware of how their weapons worked, but the fear of being unable to move still stressed you out, and as you kept squirming you caught sevika’s eye who was immobilized herself.
one thing led to another, silco’s daughter came up from underneath the airship and began firing at the firelights, grazing you with one of her bullets as you let out an agonizing scream in response.
suffice to say, the mission went horribly and everyone who go out was reprimanded by silco, because of course he’d never put the blame on jinx. while you on the other hand, were hunched over the bar later that night, nursing your sides that were still bleeding due to jinx’s mishap.
thieram was more than happy to help, aiding you with your injury but your pain tolerance wasn’t necessarily high, so every time he dabbed you with the wash cloth dunked in alcohol, you couldn’t help it as you let out a wince, clutching thieram’s forearm.
“I’m sorry,” he said, cringing at your pitiful state “I don’t know how-“
“move it.”
your eyes widened as the shadow of sevika’s tall silhouette casted over you, pushing past thieram while she took the bottle of alcohol and cloth from him. she nodded at you for you to raise your shirt up.
“let me see the wound,”
blushing, you were debating whether or not you should let sevika see you in such a compromising position, but she probably only wanted to help and couldn’t care less about seeing you exposed.
so you did as you were told and let her press her large palm onto your rib where a lot of the bleeding came from.
you hissed, gripping the sides of the bar and sevika cursed “fucking jinx,”
you shook your head “it’s okay, it’s not that big of a de-“
“but it is,” she grumbled “if only she did her fucking job and didn’t lose her shit, maybe you wouldn’t have gotten hurt.”
gulping, you tried not to overthink her choice of words and how she only focused on your injury and not the rest, considering you weren’t the only one who got the brunt of it.
“it’s fine, I’m just worried if the others are tending to their injuries.”
“don’t worry about them,” she muttered “they’re built for these kinds of things, you aren’t.”
you snickered, pretending to take offense “excuse me? are you calling me weak?”
sevika couldn’t hide her amusement, wiping away at the little blood smeared on your lower stomach.
“not weak,” she replied “I just don’t think a pretty little thing like you is meant for this kind of work. you’re not equipped for it.”
“I can look out for myself, you know.”
she hummed, her grey eyes staring up at you “maybe, but still. it’d be better if you didn’t need to.”
you tried not to let her words get to you, and calling you a pretty little thing didn’t help with your growing infatuation. perhaps she was just playing coy with you, you thought.
but then silco continued to let you join in on her missions, and you couldn’t ignore the way your heart fluttered every time she’d ask you to ‘keep close behind’ or how she’d shield you with her massive frame every time danger was imminent.
if she couldn’t trust you to look out for yourself, then she did it for you.
you wanted to excuse it thinking since she’s already lost so much men she didn’t want your name to be crossed off on the list as well. but that doesn’t mean you stopped dwelling on it.
especially when on most nights where she’d catch you in the last drop, she’d ask you to have a drink with her. going as far as to teach you how to play cards when you’d watch her gamble with the rest of silco’s men and how she’d win every time.
“you’re so good at this,” you said in awe during one of her games which earned a chuckle from her.
you were seated right next to sevika, not too close but not too far apart either, that sometimes you’d feel her elbow brushing against yours.
“want me to teach you then?”
“hey, that’s not fair, how come she gets to have you as her teacher while we’re stuck here getting our asses beat?” one of the men she was playing with chided in.
she only ignored him, flipping her cards over to reveal she’s won yet again, making them groan “then play better.” she quipped, turning over to you with a smirk on her face.
you swore butterflies almost erupted out of your belly. she was so smug, but radiant in her victory that you couldn’t even bring yourself too feel bad for the others, if you’d get to see her this way all the time, you hoped she’d win all of her games.
the guy huffed, taking a swig from his beer as he looked up at her, grinning “I dropped by the gardens today, by the way. lily said she missed you.”
you froze as those words left his mouth, but sevika remained ambivalent by the information as she shuffled her cards “I’ve just had a lot on my plate,” and perhaps it was just your mind playing tricks on you, but you swore you caught her eyeing you for a brief moment.
“well, better not to keep those girls waiting. you know you’re their favorite,” the table laughed and sevika couldn’t help herself from joining along.
“ain’t that right,” she said, chuckling.
you gulped, feeling a lump in your throat as you forced yourself not to spew something bitter because really, who were you to act jealous over who sevika chooses to spend her time with?
she may act flirtatious with you from time to time but it’s not like it meant anything. you wanted to set it aside, and tell yourself it was just never going to happen. spend less time with her if you need to.
but as if it fate wanted to play a joke on you both, that was thrown out the window when one night, sevika came stumbling into the last drop all battered and bruised. her prosthetic dangling from her arm in ruined wires while she tried her best to steady herself as she walked in.
instinctively, you rushed to her side and examined her state “sevika, oh my god.”
she groaned “it’s not a big de-“
“like hell it is,” you reprimanded as you told thieram to fetch the first aid kit and inform silco of sevika’s condition.
she was against it but you simply silenced her, pulling up a chair as you pushed her down “you need to be more careful.” you said.
“stop fussing over me, I’m built for these kinds of things. it’s my job.”
“just because it’s your job doesn’t mean you have to be so reckless! you’re more than just silco’s killing machine. you can’t keep putting your life on the line like this.”
sevika remained silent before soft laughter bubbled out of her, making you raise an eyebrow.
“I guess this makes us even.”
“what?”
“from when you got hit by jinx’s bullets,” she said as realization dawned on you “I guess we’re even now.“
you rolled your eyes at that “I’m not doing this because I owe it to you. you’re more than just my co-worker.”
she eyed you, curious “what am I then?”
there was a moment of silence as you knelt down in front of her, staring at the uneven lines of the wooden floorboards, refusing to meet her eye.
“a friend, if you’d let me,” you muttered.
she hummed, leaning against her seat “I don’t do much of those,”
you snickered “you don’t do much of anything really,”
“what’s that supposed to mean?”
you realized your mistake but decided to keep it going anyways.
“you’re too guarded. you keep your circle too tight, and I haven’t really seen you out with anyone. romantically, I mean.”
you knew you should’ve kept your mouth shut, but you couldn’t help it.
she was silent for a minute “I didn’t know you kept tabs on whether or not I date.”
you scoffed, although it sounded unconvincing “I do not.”
then there was that god awful smirk on her face again, eating away at you as she cocked her head to the side.
“sure you don’t, princess.“
your mind immediately went haywire because oh god, did she know?
on one hand, you weren’t exactly subtle. even thieram would tease you about it. noticing the way you’d sneak glances at sevika whenever she strolled through the bar and you’d hear him let out a snort from behind the counter.
“take a picture, it’d last longer.” he’d joke while you flipped him off.
but judging by the way she teased you about the idea, you’d be lying if you said there wasn’t a part of you that felt a bit hopeful that maybe, just maybe, there was a chance.
because if there was, it wouldn’t hurt to try and seize the opportunity.
𐙚 ˙ ⋆ .˚
when silco suggested the group had a day off and to use the bar to their liking for one night as compensation for a successful mission, you were elated. for a number of reasons.
because this is it. this is the moment that you’ve been waiting for, to finally make a move and to squash your fantasies once and for all.
you’re aware about wanting to keep your feelings at bay and to never let sevika know about them, but as the days flew by it was getting harder and harder to stay silent.
especially since the night you tended to her injuries and how she reacted at the idea of you taking an interest in her, and how she didn’t seemed fazed by it, if anything, she seemed intrigued.
it was worth a shot, because it’s better to say you tried than not at all.
so on the night of the party, you went out of your way to doll yourself up for once. your days were normally mundane and your job was tedious enough as it, so you never saw a reason to dress up. living in the under city, going out partying and sleeping with people was scarcely something you ever thought about.
but that doesn’t mean you never anticipated it, and so you went digging under your closet for the handful of dresses you’ve stolen from a couple of boutiques in topside. something you kept for special occasions and this was one of them.
you settled for a black halter dress that stopped below your thighs and also accentuated your cleavage, along with a pair of sheer dark tights that allowed you space to move around freely.
you rummaged through your drawers and pulled out a couple of broken makeup pallets, likely expired, but you didn’t really care as you meticulously dabbed silver eyeshadow on yourself and applied some red lipstick.
you inspected yourself on your mirror and let out an approving hum. you looked nice. you didn’t really consider yourself drop dead gorgeous but when you made some effort to make yourself presentable, the pay-off was worth it.
your chest swelled with hope thinking maybe this will be the day sevika sees you, really sees you. not just as a co-worker, friend, but someone worthy to replace the girls at the gardens with…
with that, you slipped on your combat boots and strode out of your apartment building, walking through the streets of zaun and not minding the lewd comments thrown your way by the men passing by you.
you showed up at the last drop and one of the bouncers, after taking a good look at you, opened the door for you while shooting you a sly grin.
perhaps you’ve outdone yourself, or maybe the people around you just weren’t used to seeing you all dressed up but either way, their reactions stroked your ego. all that’s left now was to just find sevika.
you made your way up to the bar where thieram was busy serving drinks, and he didn’t recognize you at first until you called out to him.
he blinked as he said your name “damn, is it really you?” he chuckled “you look great.”
“thanks,” you said, smiling “I never had the chance to wear something like this before but since silco is in a good mood…”
“and it suits you. everyone’s eyeing you like a piece of meat, I don’t know if you can tell.”
“yeah, well. they don’t matter,” you looked around “where’s sevika, by the way?”
because she was the only one that mattered.
she was the reason why you even showed up looking like this, why you got out of your comfort zone even though these types of settings weren’t your thing, but you tried, because you wanted to prove yourself to her.
thieram turned to the side and pointed to his left “she arrived about an hour ago.”
you stood up and were about make your way towards her when the sight that greeted you quickly stopped you dead in your tracks, all previous excitement dying as you sunk to the nearest stool.
because there, in her usual booth, sat sevika with not one, but two girls cozied up against her sides while one of them was practically sitting on her lap, and the other was kissing along her neck while a cigarillo was dangling from her mouth. making more room for them to grind against her as she whispered in one of their ears, causing the girl to giggle as she grabbed sevika’s jaw and connected their lips.
you took a step back as your chest begun to feel heavy, while the room suddenly felt ten times more crowded as you couldn’t tear your eyes away from the scene in front of you because of course, this just had to happen.
how dare you think you had a chance when she went out of her way to bring two of babette’s girls to this blasted party when she already visits them on a regular basis? how dare you think you ever stood a chance against these girls, with their pristine clothing, nicely styled hair and perfect bodies?
you wanted the world to swallow you whole.
“hey, you okay?” thieram asked as your breathing became shallow.
you nodded, harshly swiping the tears that threatened to spill at the corners of your eyes as you walked back to the exit.
“y-yeah, I’m just-“
in your stupor, you didn’t even realize a man was behind you not until you bumped into him, causing him to spill his drink and cuss you out as you started apologizing, creating a commotion.
“I’m so sorry!” you said, your cheeks heating up as you looked around the room before your eyes landed on her again.
but this time, sevika was staring straight at you.
swallowing nervously, you pushed past the sea of people and made your way out of the bar, not even bothering to say goodbye to thieram as you busted through the doors of the back exit, breathing heavily as you slid against the wall of the bar, with your hands on your knees and your tears ruining your makeup.
you should’ve known this was a mistake. you mentally scolded yourself over and over because who were you fooling when you thought sevika would spare a glance your way? even if you dolled yourself up, in the end sevika had countless of women to choose from, and you were never going to be an option. no matter how hard you tried.
stewing in self-pity, you wiped away at your cheeks and stood back up, planning to just head back home and forget the night even happened when the doors of the bar suddenly burst open, making you jump as you whipped around, and your breath hitched when you were met with sevika’s steely grey eyes.
she assessed your frenzied state, staring just a bit longer at your attire, scanning your legs up to your thighs until it stopped at your chest, which was heaving erratically, drawing attention to your cleavage.
“leaving so soon?” she quipped, not hiding the shameful way she was ogling at you “especially when you look this pretty?”
biting your tongue, you tried so hard not to let her words get to you. no. this is what she does, she butters you up and makes you think you have a chance then she turns around and makes you feel like utter shit. this is what she does and you’re not going to sit around making an idiot out of yourself.
“I’m just not feeling good is all.” you said as you attempted to walk past her.
but you were immediately stopped when she grabbed your arm, though her touch was gentle “let me walk you home. it’s not safe especially when you’re out here dressed like that.”
you couldn’t stop yourself, you were filled with so much unnecessary bitterness that as soon as those words left her mouth, you could only scoff before ripping away your arm, causing her to look at you with her eyebrow raised.
“I can handle myself, just go back to those girls that were all over you. it seemed like you were having a great time with them anyways.” you spat, attempting to bristle past her.
however, you gasped when she not only blocked your path but abruptly pushed your body against the wall of the building. not too harsh but with enough force to make you look up at her in compliance.
she towered over your smaller form and took your chin using her prosthetic hand, her metal fingers making you shiver as her breath mingled with your own.
“what’s with the attitude?”
“just let me go-“
“the fuck I will,” she cut you off, her tone harsh “now, I’ll ask again, what’s with the attitude? you’re never like this.”
you clenched your jaw “never like what? you don’t even know me enough to make assumptions of how I normally act.”
“like a bitch is what I’m saying,” she said through her teeth “seriously, what crawled up your ass? you show up looking like this and you can’t even be bothered to stick around let alone have a drink,”
“why should I?” you shook your head “you looked too busy anyways. just forget it and go back to those-“
“what’s with you and the girls I brough-“
“because why waste your time on me?” the dam finally broke, and all your thoughts came flooding out as sevika blinked at you, dumbfounded “you never give me the time of the day even though we’ve been working for so long, and it had to take me getting injured for you to even strike up a conversation with me. you’re always at the gardens and I know it’s none of my business what you do with your time but just…”
you looked to your feet, regret washing in “just forget it. it’s so stupid.”
however, her grip on you only tightened “no, you’re right. it is none of your business, that’s why I want to know why you’re acting this way. I’m not a mind reader, princess. you can’t expect me to know what you want and you haven’t really made it easy either. you think I wanted to wait that long to approach you? talking goes both ways. and you avoiding me so much in the past hasn’t really given me the chance to get to know you. fuck, I even thought…”
you waited for her to finish as she faced away from you “thought what?” you said, your voice merely a whisper.
she sighed as she pressed her body closer to you “I thought you didn’t like me. you never a spoke a word to me but I’ve always noticed you. you’re so good at your job but you only kept to yourself. I just thought you found me and the others too vulgar. I get it. we’re different. but then you had a drink with me and you seemed genuinely interested…”
you inhaled sharply “I was, and still am.”
“then what’s the matter? why are you acting like you’re disgusted with me all of a sudden?”
“it’s not you! it’s just…” you let out a shaky breath “it’s just hard to be around you because I’ve always noticed you too. I was just intimidated but I’ve admired your work ethic, just everything about you really, so much that I even… god, it’s embarrassing.”
“no,” she pulled you closer “tell me,”
you swallowed the lump in your throat, looking away “it’s silly.”
she lifted her flesh hand and pushed away the strands of hair that fell over your face. leaning closer that you felt her lips brush against your cheek.
“you got a little crush on me is what you’re saying?” her mouth quirked into a teasing grin as you groaned, trying to push her away.
“you’re such an ass…” you muttered as her hands slowly maneuvered down to your thighs, and suddenly, she was lifting you by her arms and against the wall as you squealed.
her nose nudged your jaw, leaving a soft kiss underneath and your hands found purchase on her strong shoulders.
“you should’ve told me sooner…” she purred, her voice deep and enticing “it would’ve saved me a hell lot of money from visiting the gardens when I could’ve had you all this time.”
you weren’t given the chance to speak when she suddenly captured your lips in a fervent kiss, making you gasp as she lets out a growl hearing your needy whines.
eventually, you surrendered to it, moving in sync with the frenzied way she was kissing you. almost as if she was just as desperate for this as you were.
you rolled your hips against her torso and sevika lets out a chuckle at your urgency, taking your legs as she wrapped them around her waist.
she took the ends of your dress and pulled them up, tearing your tights down and you let out a whine “s-sev… we’re outside-“
“then let them hear,” her breathing was staggered from all the movement “I’ve waited for this for so long.“
you bit your lip “yeah?”
she nodded, slipping your tights off your legs and discarding them to the side “if you think whatever feelings you’ve had for me was one-sided, you thought wrong.” she kissed your lips with bruising force and you could only moan against her mouth “ever since I laid eyes on silco’s pretty little informant, you’ve always been on my mind.”
her fingers felt down your covered cunt, and you writhed against her palm as she pushed past the waistband of your panties and slowly slid them off, teasing you as your slick met her calloused fingers, making her head spin “you’ve been waiting for this haven’t you, princess?” she asked softly.
you nodded as you begun soaking her palm with your juices, riding her fingers and she parted your folds, thumbing at your clit before she slid one finger in, feeling at your gummy walls before adding a second finger and soon, she was scissoring them in you as your forehead dropped to her shoulder.
jostling in her hold as your body shook, she curled her fingers and started a slow pace that got you moaning her name, and she nodded at your desperate sounds “yeah, that’s it, baby. let everybody know how much you needed this.”
she bent her head down and nipped at your jaw while you humped her scarred hand in earnest “you should’ve fucking told me sooner. do you know how much torture it was to see you walk around the office, all pretty and shy, and not wanting to make a move because I thought you didn’t like me? when all this time your tight little pussy has been weeping for me to fill it.”
you cried out, getting closer to that awaited peak especially when she starts to piston her thick fingers inside you at a maddening speed “I needed this so much, sev. fuck.” you admitted, completely lack of shame.
“I know, baby. now that I know how much you’ve needed this I’m never letting you out of my sight again.” she said and you opened your tear stained eyes to look at her.
“do I feel better than the girls you’ve had before?” you whispered and she nodded, an urgency to it as if she wanted to drill it inside your head that she means every word.
“fuck yeah, baby. I can’t wait to have you in every way that I like. on my tongue, around my fingers…” you let out the most obscene moan at her words “and my cock.”
your orgasm tore through you like a punch to the gut, your mouth falling open into a guttural cry as you creamed against her fingers while she kept curling them inside you, already feeling overstimulated while she talked you through it.
“that’s it…” she said in awe “you feel so good, baby.”
she slowly pulled her fingers out of you and you whined at the loss. but your eyes widened when suddenly sevika planted your wobbly legs down onto the ground and knelt down in front of you and started lapping away at your soaked pussy, her pupils blown wide as she began cleaning you up.
once she was done, she stood up and helped you into your underwear, breathing heavily before connecting her lips with yours. you melted as you tasted yourself on her tongue and the kiss was warmer, gentler this time.
she pulled away, leaning her forehead against yours “let me take you out?”
it took a while for your mind to process her words, still fuzzy from the aftermath of your orgasm but once it sunk in, you could only chuckle as you smiled up at her.
“usually you’d ask that first then try to have sex with me in an alley…”
there was a playful glint in her eyes “what can I say, I couldn’t wait any longer.”
you hummed, cupping her face as you drew her in for another kiss.
“yeah, me neither.”
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saeist · 2 months ago
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it's no secret to the public that itoshi sae is allegedly in a relationship
there has been speculations from media outlets that the soccer superstar, re al's famed midfielder has been seeing someone behind the public eyes. some sources say he is dating a famous model while some say he's seeing a local girl next door he met at some coffee shop in the streets of madrid
but who really knows?
recently though, a mystery woman (you) has been seen around sae's known manager. you were chatting along with the man that has been with sae since he was 14 when he first moved to madrid. knowing that sae doesn't really hang out with his peers that much, this was certainly a little odd to say the least
who are you to itoshi sae and why are you seemingly close with his team?
this caused an uproar with the media. for the next following weeks after your first appearance with his manager, all interviewees and reporters questions towards sae was "who was the mystery woman seen with your manager?"
sae simply brushes them off with his infamous blunt short ended answers but he manages to shake these media reporters off his back
for now.
however, one candid shot by his fan changed everything
it was just an innocent picture of sae walking along the boarding gates of madrid's international airport when you had accidentally walked into the frame mid picture, wearing what seems to be his tracksuit jacket that's typically reserved for players
so that could only mean one thing..
twitter and tiktok blew up overnight and re al's pr team (mostly sae's team) was in shambles
articles after articles being published left to right about speculations and insider scoops about who you are and your relationship with sae. luckily, you aren't in the spotlight and long before you even started seeing the famed midfielder, your social media accounts were always on private. you had little to no information about you on the internet much to sae's delight. this way his fans and the media that he hates so much can't say much about you since there was nothing to report about you
it's a win win situation
or so he thinks
sae tried. sae tried so hard to keep his relationship off the public's eye but since he was a high profile athlete, all eyes and cameras were almost (if not) always directed at him whether he likes it or not. it's hard to keep things like a whole relationship a secret
it didn't help that sae had managed to tick off a referee during an official game causing him to get suspended for the next 5 official games. something about vulgar language being thrown around. whatever, sae probably meant every single word he threw out in the field. referee or not, sae does not give a single fuck
maybe all this speculation of his profound relationship was getting to him the way he was ticked off by every little thing his team was telling him to do like "don't get caught again" or "try to lower the attitude" and the likes
and how does sae react to his suspension plus all the reprimanding from his pr team? he decides to metaphorically say 'fuck you, fuck this and fuck everything i'm going to expose myself and my relationship so you all could hop off our dicks' by showing up to the next official re al game with you
it was his first official game where he sits out of the match. there he was in all his glory, seated comfortably on the vip section of re al's home stadium all cozy with you, his long time partner
the very same partner that's been seen with his manager and the mystery woman on the infamous itoshi sae airport sighting photo that went viral on twitter a few weeks ago
sae fails to hold in his smirk when all the camera flashes were aimed at him instead of the ongoing game. even if he was off the field, he still manages to take control and lead the scene. talk about immense star power. literally and figuratively
sae leans back on the cushioned seats, lazily throwing an arm around you. pulling you plush against him after hearing whispers and gasps all around the stadium after arriving
he decides to take it up a notch by leaning towards your ear to whisper something, seeing that you were skittish and fidgeting with your hands with all the attention being directly onto you
"relax," sae murmurs in your ear, causing you to tense up as you were not used to all this. if you were being honest, you would've preferred to be kept away from the limelight
"i'm trying. it's just weird feeling all eyes are on us right now" you mumble, strictly keeping your hands on your lap
sae shrugs, turning around to look at all the cameras before he simply mouths, "enjoy the game" before turning back around to watch the game before him
though its looking like no one seems to care about the match anymore. not when the suspended soccer superstar itoshi sae just basically hard launched his relationship after getting suspended from official matches
even if you guys don't check, you all know that social media is going crazy right now. everyone is tweeting, posting about this one hell of a way to hard launch a relationship— unapologetic, direct and straight to the point, just like his passes
you glance at sae, expecting some kind of reaction. maybe a smirk, a knowing smile, the typical bitch face he makes when reporters are around but no. his face remains stoic and calm. not a single thought behind those teal eyes that's just watching the game below without a single care in the world
like the world isn't going crazy at what he just did
that's when you realize something. all these flashing lights, cameras, reporters and the like are nothing to him. it's not another misleading headlines for articles, it's not just a moment, this is him showing to everyone that if you mess with him, he's going to hit back harder in ways you don't expect him to
for what itoshi sae is, he once again proves that he is untouchable
after all, in itoshi sae's world and everyone (with the exception of you) is just living in it
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briefinquiries · 3 months ago
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Tommy Shelby x Reader: By Order of Blood
Summary: Tommy Shelby thought sending you away would keep you safe, until the carriage was intercepted. Now, as he cradles your trembling, broken body, he swears two things: he will never let you go again… and the men who touched you won’t live to see another sunrise.
Word count: 8.5k
Warnings: angst, violence, injury descriptions (mentions of blood, torture, SA), PTSD, nightmares, and panic attacks, emotional distress, and revenge-driven violence (also includes lots of hurt / comfort).
A/N: Lost all motivation to write my normal stuff recently, but currently rewatching peaky blinders and feeling all sorts of ways about my boyyy tommy shelby.
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"Tommy, please. Don't do this." Your voice was barely above a whisper as the weight of the moment pressed down on your chest like a stone.
You reached for him, fingers trembling as they grazed the fabric of his coat. 
But he didn’t budge. He stood rigid, back straight, his jaw locked so tight you could practically see the muscle ticking underneath his skin. A cigarette burned low between his fingers, a thin wisp of smoke curling in the dim light.
His face was unreadable, a mask of cold detachment. It was the same one he wore when giving orders that decided life or death. 
"You’re leaving tonight," he said, his voice quiet but firm.
You shook your head before he was even finished speaking, your breath catching. "No– no, I don’t want to leave."
Tommy exhaled slowly, as if he was gearing up for a fight. "This is not about what you want."
Your throat tightened. "Tommy, please–"
"You’ll be safer away from me."
You let out a dry, hollow laugh. "Safer?" The word tasted bitter on your tongue. "Tommy, I’m safe when I’m with you. The further away you are, the less safe I’ll feel."
For a second, you thought you saw something flicker in his eyes. Hesitation. Regret. Maybe even doubt. But then, just as quickly as it appeared, it was gone. Buried beneath layers of steel.
His shoulders stiffened, his fingers tightening around the cigarette. "You’ll have guards."
"I don’t want guards." Your voice wavered. "I want you. What if something happens, Tommy? What then?"
His breath hitched, but he remained stoic. "It won’t," he said firmly.
You searched his face, desperate for something, anything, that would tell you he wasn’t as sure about this as he was pretending to be. That this was tearing him apart, too. But all you saw was cold resolve. Complete certainty. 
A hollow feeling spread through your stomach as the truth settled in your bones. He had already made up his mind. And there was nothing you could say to make him change it.
Panic pressed against your ribs. You wanted to tell him that being away from him would be worse than any danger that lurked in Birmingham. But you couldn’t find the words.
For a long moment, neither of you spoke.
Then, Tommy took one last drag from his cigarette before putting it out with slow, deliberate movements. When he finally looked at you, his blue eyes were unreadable.
"The carriage is waiting."
The words hit you like a blow, stealing whatever fight you had left.
You felt yourself nod, but you didn’t say anything. There was nothing left to say. Without another word, you turned and walked away, the sound of your footsteps echoing in the silence.
And Thomas Shelby let you go. 
The wooden seat beneath you felt cold and unforgiving. But not nearly as cold as the hollow feeling in your chest.
You sat stiffly, arms folded across your body. Your stomach churned– a mixture between fear, anger, and grief. Each emotion fought for dominance, and yet all you could do was stare blankly at the road stretching endlessly ahead of you, your surroundings blurring past the window.
You tried to rationalize his actions and remind yourself why he made the choices he did. But this didn’t feel like protection anymore. 
It felt like a punishment. 
The hours dragged. The rhythmic clatter of hooves and the occasional creak of the carriage were the only sounds filling the silence. You hadn’t spoken a word to the driver or to the men Tommy had sent to guard you. You refused. Who cared if they thought you were some entitled brat?
But then, suddenly, something in the air shifted.
You weren’t sure what it was at first. Maybe it was just a feeling, an unease that coiled in your stomach like a vice. But then you noticed the hooves come to a gradual stop. One of the guards riding ahead straightened in his saddle, glancing toward the dense trees lining the road.
Your pulse quickened, but before you could even part your lips to ask what was wrong, you heard the gunshot.
A sickening crack followed by shouting. One of the men slumped forward on his horse before crashing onto the dirt road in a heap. The horses screamed, rearing violently. The carriage lurched, sending you slamming into the side with a sharp gasp.
Another shot. Another thud. 
The second guard fell before he could even draw his gun. Then the driver let out a strangled yell, yanking hard on the reins. 
But it was too late.
Figures emerged from the darkness of the trees, their boots pounding against the dirt, moving fast. Panic seized you. Without thinking, you scrambled toward the door, heart hammering, fumbling for the latch. You could still get out, still run, still–
But when you threw your weight against it, the door didn’t budge.
The impact from the gunfire, the carriage rocking on the uneven road– it had bent the frame inward. The wood creaked, but the metal hinges were jammed tight.
"No, no, no–” you pleaded. You pushed harder, shoulders slamming against the door.
Then, the other door was yanked open violently, nearly ripping off its hinges. You barely had time to turn before rough, gloved hands grabbed you, wrenching you forward. You thrashed against them, kicking, clawing, screaming for them to let go. 
"Shut her up!" A voice snapped. 
And just like that, the back end of a gun slammed into your gut, knocking the air from your lungs. Your vision blurred as your body doubled over. Fingers fisted in your hair, yanking your head back so hard your scalp burned.
One of the men leaned in, his breath hot against your cheek.
"I guess Shelby should’ve sent more men."
Your heart pounded violently in your chest as the other men chuckled darkly.
Your hands shook as you tried to fight, but there were too many of them, too many voices, too many shadows closing in around you. You screamed again. 
Then, a final, crushing blow to the side of your head sent the world tilting. Your knees buckled. 
And then– total darkness.
The office smelled of whiskey and smoke as the low glow of candlelight flickered against the walls. Tommy sat behind his desk, fingers wrapped around a glass he hadn’t yet touched.
Across from him, Arthur was talking. Something about business, numbers, men needing paying, but Tommy wasn’t listening. He had been distracted all night.
His mind kept circling back to you. It didn’t matter how many times he told himself he made the right choice– that sending you away had been for your own good, that it was the only way to keep you safe. That image of you, eyes wide, pleading, your fingers brushing against his coat before he had forced himself to turn away remained at the forefront of his mind.
"Tommy, please," you had begged. 
He had ignored the way it made his chest ache, forcing himself to shut down the part of him that wanted to keep you close.
Because this was the only way.
Right?
But if it was the right choice, then why the fuck did it feel like such a fucking mistake?
"Tom?" Arthur’s voice cut through his thoughts.
Tommy blinked, setting the untouched glass down with slow, deliberate movements. His fingers tapped against the wood, a restless habit. "What?"
Arthur frowned, watching him closely. "You haven’t heard a single thing I’ve said, have you?"
A muscle in Tommy’s jaw twitched. 
Arthur exhaled, rubbing a hand over his face. "Jesus, Tommy. Forget about it. You did the right thing, yeah? She’s safer out of Birmingham. You said so yourself."
Tommy leaned back in his chair, running a hand down his face. He shook his head, reaching for the cigarette pack on his desk, desperate for something to quiet his mind. But just as he struck the match, the door burst open.
Tommy’s head snapped up.
John stood in the doorway, breathless and pale.
"Tommy–" he panted, eyes wide with urgency. "The carriage– we just got word– it was intercepted–"
For a moment, the words didn’t register. A slow, heavy silence fell over the room. Tommy just stared at him, cigarette burning between his fingers, unmoving. Then, a sharp, cold wave of panic slammed into his chest.
His chair scraped against the floor as he shot to his feet. "What?" His voice was dangerously quiet.
John swallowed hard. "One of the scouts came back. The men– the guards you sent– they’re dead. Driver too."
The room tilted. A deafening ringing filled Tommy’s ears, drowning out everything else.
No, no, no. No. 
"Where?" Tommy demanded, his voice now urgent, raw, trembling with barely contained terror.
"We don’t know yet–"
Tommy’s chest heaved, his breath coming sharp and ragged. "Find out," he snapped, grabbing his coat. His hands were shaking. "Find out right fucking now."
Arthur was already up, grabbing his gun. "We’re going after her, Tommy."
Tommy ran a hand through his hair, pacing, trying to think, trying to breathe, trying not to fucking lose it.
He had sent you away.
He had sent you away.
His heart pounded violently, his throat tight with a kind of fear he had never felt before.
Not anger. Not fury. Not vengeance.
Fear.
Because if they had taken you…
If they had hurt you…
Tommy couldn’t finish the thought.
Because the moment he did, he wouldn’t be able to fucking breathe.
When you woke up, the first thing you registered was the pain. 
The deep, aching throb in your skull. The metallic taste of blood coated your tongue, thick and suffocating.
Your body felt heavy, your limbs sluggish as you tried to move, only to realize that you couldn’t.
Panic slid into your chest, sharp and immediate as you became aware of the restraints, of the rough, biting feel of rope digging into your wrists, binding them behind the back of a chair. Your breath hitched, vision swimming in the overwhelming darkness that surrounded you.
You struggled against the restraints, muscles screaming in protest, but the chair barely creaked beneath your weight. The air was damp, thick with the scent of rotting wood and stale sweat. Somewhere in the distance, you heard the faint melodic drop of water.
A basement. Maybe a warehouse. Somewhere completely forgotten.
A door creaked open and your breath stilled. There were footsteps– slow and leisurely. 
A shadow loomed at the edge of the room, then a man stepped forward, boots scraping against the concrete floor. The dim light of a lantern illuminated his features, dark eyes full of amusement, a smirk twisting his thin lips.
"Well, well," he drawled, tilting his head. "Look who's awake."
Your stomach coiled in disgust as he came closer, circling you like a predator playing with its prey. You clenched your jaw, forcing yourself to stay still, to keep your expression blank.
The man stopped just beside you, tapping a finger against his chin, mockingly thoughtful. "You’re prettier up close," he mused. "Is that why Shelby keeps you so close? Well… not this time I guess."
A beat of silence. Then, his voice dropped into something colder, sharper. "Where’s he keeping his next shipment?"
You didn’t answer but his smirk only widened. "Playing the silent game, are we?"
He moved closer to you, and before you could react, a sharp, stinging slap cracked across your cheek.
Your head snapped to the side, your vision blurring with the impact.
"You’ll want to answer me," he said menacingly. "Or this is going to get a hell of a lot worse for you."
You clenched your teeth, forcing your breath to stay even. 
He let out a disappointed sigh. "Stubborn little thing, aren’t you? Brave, even?" He stepped closer, gripping the arms of your chair, leaning in until his breath was hot against your ear. "But tell me, sweetheart… how brave do you think you’ll be when we’re through with you?"
You refused to let him see your fear. But inside, terror clawed at your ribs, sinking in deep.  
The man stepped back, studying you. His smirk hadn't faltered, but you could see the frustration flicker in his dark eyes.
"Not talking, eh?" He exhaled sharply, rolling his shoulders as if this were some inconvenience, some tedious task he had to complete before moving on with his night.
Then, without warning, his fist slammed into your stomach.
Your body jerked violently against the ropes, a strangled gasp ripping from your throat as the air was stolen from your lungs. White, hot agony flared in your gut, the chair beneath you rocking from the force of it. You coughed, your body instinctively trying to double over, but the ropes held you upright, forcing you to endure it.
Still, you said nothing.
The man let out a humorless chuckle. "Tough girl, huh?"
Another blow. To your face again. You bit the inside of your cheek, swallowing the cry that threatened to escape.
"Tell me," he continued casually, shaking out his fist, "where the Peaky Blinders keep their weapons."
You lifted your head slowly, breathing heavily through your nose. Then, you spat blood onto the floor at his feet.
A muscle in his jaw ticked. And then, his hand fisted in your hair, yanking your head back so sharply you let out a strangled gasp.
"I was hoping you’d be difficult," he murmured, tilting his head. "It makes this so much more fun for me."
Deep fear curled around your bones like ice. Because you knew exactly what men like him were capable of. He let go of your hair abruptly, your head snapping forward from the force of it, pain splintering through your already throbbing skull.The next blow came before you could brace yourself. It was a heavy, brutal punch to your nose. Pain exploded behind your eyes, your body lurching sideways, nearly toppling the chair. Your ears rang, the room spinning wildly.
Your nose was dripping. It took you a second to realize it was blood, warm and thick as it trailed down your lips. Still, you didn’t speak. 
He let out a long, slow breath, tilting his head as he studied you. "I can do this all night," he said lightly, as if he weren’t already beating you bloody. Then, something darker crossed his expression. 
"But maybe," he continued, voice lower, silkier, more dangerous, "I could find other ways to make you talk."
Your stomach churned at the sight of his gaze, predatorial. Every muscle in your body seized as he took a step forward, one hand reaching for his pocket. Then, metal glinted under the dim light.
A knife. Not small, not discreet, but long, sharp, wicked.
He flicked it open with an almost lazy motion, rolling it between his fingers like a coin, as if the weapon was nothing more than a casual accessory to him. "You know," he mused, tilting his head, his eyes dragging over your bound, broken form with something close to amusement, "I've always wondered how many pieces a person can be cut into before they bleed out."
He crouched beside you, the blade dancing along his fingers, before slowly pressing the cold steel under your chin.
"Tell me what I want to know," he murmured, his voice almost gentle, like a whisper of silk against your skin. 
More silence. 
He smirked. A devilish grin spread across his face. “Maybe I'll start with the fingers."
Your heart pounded violently, every nerve in your body screaming at you to run, fight, do something– 
But what were you supposed to do? The ropes bit into your wrists, your limbs too weak, too battered, your breath too shallow.
"Think I'm bluffing?" he asked, watching your reaction. "Think I won’t carve you up, nice and slow?"
The knife dragged downward, grazing lightly along the column of your throat, just enough to prickle your skin, to remind you how easily he could cut deeper.
He leaned in closer, his breath hot against your cheek.
"Because I will, sweetheart," he whispered, almost fondly. "And when I'm done, I’ll send the pieces back to Shelby. One by one."
“I don’t know where the weapons are,” The words spilled out before you could even think, desperate, shaky, but holding just enough bite to make them believable. “Tommy doesn’t tell me those things– says it’s not a woman’s business to know– that we’d break too easily if we got questioned.”
Your breath hitched, your pulse roaring in your ears as you held his gaze, willing yourself to look small, weak, unimportant.
He laughed. Low, dark, amused. He leaned in again, the overwhelming stench of sweat and smoke rolling off him in waves.
"You think I believe that?" His voice was smooth as he tilted his head, watching you with something cruel, calculating. Your breath came in short, shallow bursts, your hands twisting uselessly behind your back, fingers numb from the ropes cutting into your skin.
You didn’t answer. Because you knew better. Men like him didn’t want the truth. They wanted excuses to hurt you.
He sighed, feigning disappointment. "See, sweetheart, here’s the problem with your little lie." He reached into his coat pocket, pulling out a scrap of paper, something smudged with dirt and blood.
"One of your guards had this tucked in his coat. An order from Mr. Shelby himself," he said, unfolding it with a lazy flick of his wrist. "Says to keep you safe. Says not to let you out of their sight."
The bastard grinned as he tossed the paper onto your lap. "Now, why would Thomas Shelby go through all that trouble for someone who doesn’t know anything?"
You felt cold all over. He knew. No amount of lying was going to save you now.
"Yeah," he murmured, standing upright. "That’s what I thought."
His hand shot out suddenly, gripping your jaw, forcing your head back. You winced, but didn’t look away. A cruel smile spread across his face. "That’s good," he murmured. "I like when they look at me."
Then, cold steel pressed against your cheek. You flinched violently, your breath stuttering, but he only grinned wider, his grip tightening, holding you in place. 
"You’ll tell me what I want to know," he promised, his fingers digging into your bruised skin. "Sooner or later."
The blade slid downward, slow, deliberate, tracing the delicate line of your jaw.
Then, it pressed in. A sharp, searing pain bloomed beneath your skin, and you gasped, body jerking instinctively, but the ropes held you tight, trapped.
A thin line of warm blood trickled down your cheek. He hummed in satisfaction. His thumb dragged across your bottom lip, slow, taunting. "Maybe I’ll give you some time to think about it," he mused, releasing you with a sharp shove.
Tommy paced the office like a caged animal, fingers tugging through his hair, his mind racing faster than his body could keep up.
The room was too small, too fucking suffocating, and the longer it took to get information, the more his chest tightened, the more his hands shook.
"Where the fuck is she?"
No one had an answer.
Tommy turned on John. "Who told you? Who gave you the fucking word?"
John swallowed, shifting on his feet. "A scout, one of our boys in Small Heath– he saw the wreckage. The guards, the driver… all dead, Tommy."
His stomach dropped.
Bodies.
But no mention of her.
He felt sick. Cold. A new kind of fear he hadn’t felt since the war clawed its way up his throat like bile. He clenched his fists, forcing himself to focus. If they had taken you alive, that meant they wanted something from you.
He had to find you. Now. A sharp knock on the door cut through the tense silence. Isaiah stepped in, breathless, eyes wide.
"We’ve got something."
Tommy’s head snapped up so fast his vision blurred.
"Where?"
Isaiah wiped a hand down his face, shaking his head. "We don’t know for sure, but one of the lads caught wind of a group setting up shop in an old distillery just outside the city– on the outskirts near the river."
"Who?" Tommy’s voice was deadly calm, but the way his hands shook slightly at his sides betrayed him.
Isaiah hesitated. "You’re not gonna like the answer, Tom."
Tommy’s chest tightened. "Say it," he demanded.
Isaiah exhaled. "Sabini’s men."
The room went deathly quiet.
Arthur swore, kicking the leg of a chair so hard it splintered.
Sabini.
That filthy fucking bastard had been waiting for an opportunity to strike, and Tommy had handed it to him on a silver fucking platter when he sent you away. Tommy felt his pulse roar in his ears, drowning out every other sound in the room.
He turned to Arthur. "Get everyone. We move now."
His brother didn’t hesitate. As Arthur stormed out, barking orders to the rest of the men, Tommy grabbed his coat, his revolver already in his hand.
He didn’t just want to kill them.
He wanted to wipe them from existence.
Because they had taken you.
And Thomas Shelby was going to burn the fucking city down to get you back.
Your wrists were raw from the ropes, skin rubbed red and torn from how hard you had fought– fought for nothing, fought for no one to come, fought just to survive another minute, another second.
You were too weak to fight anymore. Your entire body was screaming in agony, every nerve burning, every muscle aching with exhaustion.
Your stomach throbbed violently, a deep, searing pain radiating from one of the larger gashes that had been carved into your skin. You could still feel the sting of the blade as it sank into your flesh, the warm trickle of blood spilling down your ribs, soaking into the shredded remains of your clothes.
What was left of them, anyway.
Your dress had been ripped apart, torn from your body in jagged, humiliating shreds, exposing bruised, violated skin.
The men had touched you, their hands roaming, gripping, forcing you still, their laughter ringing in your ears as they stripped you down like you were nothing more than something to be used.
You had fought, God, you had fought, thrashing, kicking, but their hands had been stronger, crueler, unyielding.
Now, you could feel the cool air biting at your skin, the exposed places where they had left their marks– dark bruises, bloody scratches, shame carved into your very bones. Your arms shook, the fabric clinging to what was left of you, offering little protection, little dignity.
You felt disgusting.
Ruined.
And even though they had been interrupted before they could take it any further, the damage was already done.
The way they had laughed. Cruel, mocking, like your pain was amusing, like your struggle meant nothing.
"Shelby won’t want you now."
The words had sliced deeper than the knife, burrowing into your chest, your ribs, your bones.
"Damaged goods."
"Bet he won’t even look at you when we’re done."
It was all still there, burned into your mind, bleeding into your skin like an invisible brand you would never escape.
And your ribs– God, your ribs. Every inhale was a battle, every breath felt like knives digging into your sides, sharp and relentless. You didn’t know if they were bruised or broken, but the deep, throbbing ache that rattled through your chest made you certain that something was damaged beyond repair.
Even the slightest movement sent sharp, unbearable pain lancing through you, making your vision blur, making bile rise in your throat.
Your face was swollen, beaten, the metallic taste of blood thick on your tongue.
Your body flinched violently as hands roamed over you, rough fingers gripping, bruising, tearing fabric, exposing too much. A cruel chuckle ghosted over your ear.
"Not so tough now, are you?"
The words barely registered through the haze, but the hot breath against your skin did, the weight of a body pressing against you. Suffocating.
You turned your head, gasping sharply, choking on a sob as your body tried to shrink away, but the ropes held you firm, like an animal waiting for slaughter.
Another pair of hands gripped your thigh, fingers digging hard enough to bruise.
You squeezed your eyes shut, trying to disappear inside yourself, trying to will yourself into a place where this wasn’t happening, wasn’t real.
Then– footsteps, shouting.
Not inside the room, but outside.
The hands stilled.
More voices now, low, urgent, laced with something that sounded close to alarm.
"Go check it out," one of the men shouted.
A few of them grumbled, hesitating, as if reluctant to leave, but then another loud thud echoed from beyond the door, followed by the distant clatter of metal hitting the floor.
The man above you cursed, pushing off of you abruptly, leaving behind a nauseating heat where his body had been pressing against yours.
"Fucking deal with her," he ordered the one who stayed behind before storming toward the door.
You heard them shuffle out, their boots heavy against the floor, the door creaking as it was pulled shut behind them. One remained. 
Then– Gunfire. A sharp, brutal crack shook the walls. The man froze. Another shot. Then another. Shouts of panic cried outside the door, the unmistakable sound of bodies hitting the ground. And then the door burst open.
The man barely had time to turn, barely had time to lift his knife, barely had time to do anything, before a bullet tore through his skull, the shot echoing like thunder.
His body crumpled to the floor.
More boots pounded into the room. Your swollen, half-lidded eyes struggled to focus, your mind fading in and out, but you knew– you knew those voices. Someone dropped to their knees beside you.
"Fuck– It’s her." The voice was urgent, but familiar. "She’s alive. Love, it’s me– it’s John. Can ya hear me?"
He moved to untie you, but you let out a small, broken noise. Weakly, you tried to turn away, as if you could somehow hide your exposed body from him– hide from what had been done to you.
"Shit– someone get her a coat, something!" John hollered. 
More hurried voices. More boots scuffing against the ground.
Then a voice rang out. "Get out of the fucking way!"
The tone was raw, shaking with rage, sharp enough to cut through the chaos like a knife. Everyone moved aside instantly.
Tommy’s blue eyes locked onto you, widening as he took in the bruises, the gash on your stomach leaking blood, the torn fabric barely covering your body.
Then, under his breath, so low it was barely a whisper, he muttered, "Jesus Christ.” 
His coat was off his shoulders in an instant. He crouched down and carefully draped it over you, covering as much of your exposed skin as he could. The weight of it should’ve been comforting, should’ve felt like protection, but you flinched. The sudden movement sent a fresh wave of pain coursing through your body, making your breath hitch sharply in your throat. Tommy’s jaw tightened. His hands hovered, like he was unsure if touching you would only make things worse.
John knelt beside him, fingers moving to quickly undo the ropes. 
Your body swayed forward as the last rope fell away, your muscles too weak to hold you upright, but Tommy’s hands shot out instantly, catching you before you could collapse completely. He felt the way you tensed. The way your body tried to shrink away, as if you weren’t sure whether his hands were safe ones or not. 
“Can you walk?” His voice was low, controlled, but his heart was fucking pounding.
You didn’t answer. Couldn’t even manage to look up at him– like you didn’t even register his question.
Your head hung limply forward, resting weakly against his shoulder. Your breath came in shallow bursts as the weight of exhaustion and pain dragged you down.
That was all the answer he needed. Without hesitation, he scooped you up into his arms. The moment he lifted you, a sharp, strangled cry tore from your throat as the wound on your stomach pinched.
“I got you,” The sound of your pain sent a violent shudder through Tommy’s body, his grip instinctively tightening. “I know, love. I know.”
Your head lolled against his chest, another small whimper escaping your lips as his arms adjusted their hold, careful but unrelenting. His breath was uneven as he stood, keeping you pressed tightly against him, shielding you as much as he could.
Your pain was his pain now.
Your suffering was his burden to bear.
And he was going to make every last one of those bastards suffer for what they had done to you.
The night air was cold, but Tommy barely felt it. His grip on you didn’t waver, his arms locking you against his chest, shielding you from the world as he carried you through the bloodstained corridors of the warehouse.
Every step he took was controlled, deliberate, but inside he was barely holding it together. You were too still, your body too limp in his arms. 
“Almost there," he murmured, his voice softer than he’d ever let it be, barely audible beneath the pounding of his own heart.
You didn’t respond. But when his arms shifted slightly, having to adjust his hold as he stepped over a body on the ground, you let out a small whimper of pain. His grip tightened instinctively.
"Shh," he soothed, his lips brushing against your temple, voice raw. "I’ve got you."
The car was waiting outside, its headlights cutting through the darkness, and the backseat door already open. Arthur was barking orders to the men, his voice clipped and deadly, but the moment Tommy stepped outside, all movement stopped. The others watched as he carried you– silent, grim, waiting.
They had seen Tommy Shelby furious before.
But this was something else entirely.
Without a word, Tommy laid you down in the backseat, before climbing in himself. He adjusted his coat so that it covered you again before guiding your head to rest more comfortably on his lap. 
The door slammed shut and the engine roared to life. The moment the car jolted forward, you let out another soft whimper, your fingers weakly reaching for him. 
"It’s alright," he murmured, as his hand brushed through your matted hair. "You’re alright."
You heard his words, but they felt far away… like a voice carried through water, muffled, distant. Your head shifted slightly against his lap as you forced your swollen eyes open. 
And then you saw it.
Blood.
Deep red, seeping through the white fabric of his shirt, thick and dark, staining the material all the way down to his waist. Your breath hitched. For a second, you didn’t understand. Your dazed mind struggled to catch up, struggled to process how he might’ve gotten hurt. 
Then it clicked. It wasn’t his blood.
It was yours.
Your fingers twitched weakly, brushing against the soaked fabric.
"Tommy–"
The word came out slurred, almost inaudible.
His hands tensed around you instantly. "I’m here, love," he said quickly, his voice sharper now, urgent. "I’m right here."
Your vision blurred. The world was tilting again. The blood, so much blood– 
"Tommy, am I dying?"
His arms tightened around you, his grip firm, protective, as if holding you together was enough to keep you here. 
"No," he said immediately, but there was something frantic beneath his voice now, something breaking. "No, you’re not dying. You’re alright."
You blinked slowly, the exhaustion dragging you down. 
Tommy turned his head sharply.
"Drive faster," he snapped, his voice thick with something close to desperation.
Arthur was already pushing the car to its limit, the tires kicking up dirt and gravel as they sped toward home. Tommy’s hand cradled your cheek, his thumb stroking gently along your skin, even as his grip shook.
"You’re alright. But you have to stay awake," he said, almost pleadingly. 
You tried. And really, you wanted to. 
But the last thing you felt before the darkness pulled you under was the way his fingers trembled against your skin.
You felt the car lurch to a stop, the tires skidding against the dirt, but the world around you was hazy, your body heavy, weighed down by exhaustion and pain.
You jolted further awake when Tommy shifted, pulling you onto his lap before he pushed the door open.
Then, a rush of cold air. Sharp as it bit at your skin. Tommy stepped out, his grip on you unwavering, unrelenting. There were voices, then footsteps. The sound of boots pounding against the ground. 
Polly’s familiar voice. "Oh, my girl," she gasped. “What have they done to her?”
You tried to lift your head, to focus, but your vision swam, the world tilting in and out of darkness. 
Polly was moving fast, her skirt rustling as she rushed toward you, her hands reaching for you before you even realized what was happening.
"Get her inside," she ordered, her tone sharp, controlled, but beneath it there was fear.
Tommy didn’t hesitate. You felt the urgency in his body, the tension coiling tight in his arms as he carried you up the steps, past the doorway, into the dim warmth of the house.
Everything was spinning. 
When he set you down, the wound in your stomach pinched and a warm rush of liquid poured from it. You clutched at it– felt the blood pooling between your fingers. 
"Tommy, put some pressure on that!" Polly’s voice cut through the haze, sharp and commanding.
Your breath hitched, your body already trembling from exhaustion, from blood loss, from the deep, horrible throbbing wrapping around your ribs like a vice.
Tommy moved instantly, his hands already reaching for you. You felt him brush your hands away before pressing a towel firmly against the open wound on your stomach. 
The moment the pressure hit, white-hot pain exploded through you.
You screamed.
 Your body arched off the mattress, hands flying to his wrist, gripping hard, your nails digging into his skin, trying to push him away.
"I know," Tommy rasped without budging, his jaw clenched so tightly it looked like he might break his teeth.
You tried to twist away, but his hands didn’t move, didn’t falter, didn’t let up.
Your vision swam, a high-pitched ringing buzzing in your ears, agony coiling through your body like fire, licking up your ribs, burning through your spine.
Polly was moving fast, grabbing bandages, ripping fabric, preparing whatever she needed, but all you could focus on was the pressure, the unbearable weight of Tommy’s hands pressing against your stomach.
"Fuck," Tommy cursed under his breath. "Pol, do something. Help her–"
"I need supplies, Tommy," Polly snapped. "I need you to go get them."
You saw Tommy hesitate.
"Tom," Polly’s voice was firmer now, demanding. "Go. Now."
A beat. Then, the pressure on your stomach lifted as he moved away. The moment Tommy’s hands left your body, you felt the loss like a cruel snap of cold air.
Your breath hitched, your body instinctively tensing, but Polly’s hands were already there, replacing his. 
She pressed tightly against the wound, and fresh agony ripped through you, another strangled cry spilling from your lips.
"Shh, darling," Polly murmured, her voice softer now, gentler than before, but still edged with urgency. "I know, I know. We’re going to get you all fixed up."
You let out a soft, weak noise as Tommy moved, as if your body somehow knew it was losing its only source of warmth, of safety.
"I’ll be right back," Tommy’s voice was hoarse, raw, full of something broken.
And then, the door swung shut. 
Your fingers clutched weakly at the sheets, your body writhing slightly, trying to escape the searing pain, but Polly held firm. "Easy," she murmured, one hand moving up to smooth your hair back from your face, her touch gentle despite the blood coating her fingers. "Just breathe."
You tried. But every inhale sent sharp daggers through your ribs, every second felt like your body was tearing itself apart.
"That’s it," Polly encouraged, even as her hands remained firm, even as she continued pressing into the wound. "Just keep breathing, sweetheart."
Footsteps. A door swinging open.
Then, his voice.
"Here," Tommy said, sounding breathless as he stormed back into the room. His hands were full of supplies.
Polly barely glanced up. "Put them on the table."
He did, his movements fast and urgent. But the moment he turned back to you, his face fell.
His blue eyes flickered to the blood pooling around Polly’s hands, to the torn fabric soaked with red, and then, to your face.
Your body was trembling, your breath coming shaky and weak, your skin far too pale.
Tommy’s hands curled into fists. Polly looked at him before releasing the pressure on your wound.
"It’s not clotting," she said, flat, grim. Polly exhaled sharply, grabbing the needle and thread. "We’ll have to stitch it up."
His jaw clenched, his throat working around words he couldn’t say, his hands hovering uselessly at his sides. Without a word, he took his place back beside you, his hands finding your shoulders, his grip steady, firm, unyielding.
Polly met his gaze. "Hold her down."
And with agony in his eyes, he did.
A sharp, searing sensation that tore through your body like fire, ripping you from the darkness and into the cruel reality of the moment. Your eyes flew open, your breath catching instantly as a white-hot, unbearable sting shot through your stomach.
A scream tore from your throat before you even knew what was happening.
"Keep her from moving!" Polly’s voice was urgent, firm, cutting through the haze of pain and confusion as she clutched the bottle of alcohol she was using to clean your wounds.
Then, strong hands gripped your shoulders.
"Shh, love, I know, I know."
Tommy pinned you down, his weight pressing against you just enough to keep you still, but not enough to hurt you.
You fought against it anyway, your body thrashing violently, panic and agony blurring together as Polly’s hands worked quickly, pressing something sharp against your skin. Another wave of pain crashed through you, and you sobbed, gasping, your body twisting uselessly beneath Tommy’s grip. 
"Please–" Your voice cracked, weak and frantic, as the burning sensation only grew worse. “Please, stop–”
Tommy’s grip tightened, his breath harsh against your ear as he whispered, "I know,” he repeated. “You have to let her do this."
You couldn’t do it, couldn’t bear the pain, the sting, the relentless wave of agony pressing down on every nerve in your body.
But Tommy wasn’t letting go. His hands stayed firm, keeping you still as Polly continued, her voice clipped, professional– but you could hear the pain in it too.
"It’ll be over soon," she murmured, but it barely reached you over the sound of your own ragged sobs.
Another sharp pain seared through your ribs, and your body arched violently, another broken cry ripping from your throat. Your fingers latched onto Tommy’s arm, gripping him so tightly your nails dug into his skin.
He didn’t flinch.
His voice was hoarse, desperate, like this was hurting him just as much as it was hurting you. "I got you," he murmured, his breath warm against your temple. "I’m right here, love. Just hold on. Just hold on."
But you couldn’t.
You felt yourself slipping away, the pain too much, too unbearable.
Your sobs grew softer, weaker, until the darkness swallowed you whole.
Sleep clung to you like a heavy shroud, pulling you under, keeping you trapped beneath the surface.
But then… voices.
Low, hushed, urgent.
You weren’t awake, not really. But the words drifted through the haze, barely reaching you, like an echo through water.
"I don’t know what happened in that room," Polly said, soft but grave, laced with something heavy, unspoken. "But our girl was hurt beyond what the eye can see."
There was silence– so suffocating that you could feel it settle over the room like a funeral shroud.
Then, Tommy’s voice, low, rough, dangerous in a way you had never heard before.
"What are you saying, Pol?"
A pause.
"You saw the bruises on her thighs, Tommy. The way her clothes were torn."
The words barely registered before a deep, unbearable shame clawed its way up your throat.
You wanted to pull the blanket tighter around you– to disappear, vanish, sink back into the darkness where none of this was real.
But your body wouldn’t listen. Your fingers twitched, barely moving against the sheets. Another silence. Longer this time. Heavier.
Then, Tommy’s voice, but it was different now. Not sharp, not angry. Shaken.
“Jesus Christ."
Another pause.
Then, a sound you never thought you’d hear from Tommy Shelby. A shaky exhale, almost like a breath that had been trapped in his chest for too long, forced out in a way that wasn’t entirely controlled.
You wanted to open your eyes.
Wanted to reach for him, for Polly, for something that made you feel whole again.
But your body was too broken, and your mind was too tired.
The room was quiet when you woke up.
Not the kind of peaceful quiet that brought comfort, but the kind that felt hollow, empty, like something had been ripped away. Your body felt heavy, every inch of you aching, wrapped in a deep, throbbing pain that radiated from your ribs, your face, your legs.
For a moment, you didn’t move. Didn’t even breathe too deeply.
Just listened.
The soft crackling of the fireplace. The distant murmurs of voices downstairs. The faint scent of whiskey, tobacco, and something familiar lingering in the air.
Then, movement
Your eyes shifted, and that’s when you saw him.
Tommy.
He was sitting in a chair beside the bed, his head bowed, his elbows resting on his knees, hands clasped together like he had been praying but never finished the prayer.
His hair was disheveled, his coat abandoned somewhere, his sleeves rolled up. He looked worn down.  Like he had been carrying too much weight for far too long.
Your throat felt tight. When you shifted slightly, trying to ease the ache in your body, the mattress creaked softly beneath you.
Tommy’s head snapped up instantly. His blue eyes locked onto you, and for a brief second they widened, raw and unguarded, before he jolted forward, hurrying to your side.
"Hey–" His voice was rough, low with exhaustion, relief, and something deeper, something broken. “Hey, hey, hey. I’m here. I’m right here.” 
You tried to speak, but nothing came out. Your throat tightened painfully, your lips parting as if to form words, but all that came was silence. Then– tears. Hot, silent tears spilled over your cheeks, streaking down your skin before you could stop them.
Tommy’s breath hitched, his face contorting slightly, as if the sight of you like this physically hurt him.
"Hey," he repeated, his hands reaching up, cupping your face carefully, his thumbs wiping away the tears as fast as they fell. "It’s alright. You’re alright."
But you weren’t. And you both knew it.
More tears spilled, your body trembling despite the warmth of the blankets, despite the fact that Tommy’s hands were steady, firm, and safe. You let out a weak, shaky exhale, your breath stuttering.
Tommy’s jaw tensed, the pad of his thumb still brushing along your cheek.
"You’re safe now," he whispered, his forehead nearly pressing against yours. "You hear me?"
You closed your eyes and nodded weakly, but the tears kept falling. They wouldn’t stop– wouldn’t slow, no matter how hard you tried to breathe through it, to swallow it down, to push it away like it wasn’t happening.
His hands never left your face, gentle, steady, as if he thought you might shatter completely if he let go.
He watched you closely, his expression tight, unreadable, but his eyes gave him away. They were soft. Without a word, Tommy shifted, slowly, carefully, and sat on the edge of the bed. His weight made the mattress dip. And then, he reached for you. Not all at once. Not suddenly. Just gently. One of his arms slid behind your back, the other under your legs, his movements slow, deliberate, giving you time to pull away if you wanted to. But you didn’t.  So, when he finally pulled you into him, when he gathered you against his chest, you just let him. Because the desire to be held so gently by him outweighed the pain in your stomach. 
A soft, shuddering sob broke from your throat the second your face pressed into his shoulder. His arms tightened and his chest rose and fell beneath you.
"I’ve got you," he said.
You just cried harder. Cried into his shirt, into his chest, into the only thing that felt remotely safe.
And Tommy just held you.
Like you were the only thing in the world that mattered.
… 
The hands were everywhere. Gripping, clawing, pressing against your skin.
Hot breath ghosted over your ear, cruel laughter filling the darkness as rough fingers bruised their way over your body.
"Not so tough now, are you?" 
You thrashed, but you were trapped, bound, helpless. No matter how hard you fought, kicked, screamed, you couldn’t get away.
"Shelby won’t want you now."
"Damaged goods."
"Bet he won’t even look at you when we’re done."
No. No, please.
You screamed.
You jerked awake violently, gasping, drenched in sweat, heart pounding in your chest like it was trying to escape. The room was dark, shadows stretching across the walls, but the nightmare was still there, lingering, suffocating.
A figure moved beside you, reaching for you–  Too close. Too fast.
"Don’t fucking touch me!" The words ripped from your throat before you even registered them, your voice sharp, frantic, trembling with terror. 
"Hey, hey, hey. It’s me. It’s just me."
You sucked in a sharp breath, your pulse roaring in your ears as the terror began to splinter, reality bleeding through the nightmare. Your eyes darted to his face.
Not them.
Tommy.
A shuddering sob broke from your lips as you reached forward. Tommy caught you immediately, his arms wrapping around you, holding you firmly but carefully.
"Shh, you’re alright," he murmured against your hair. "You’re safe. I’ve got you."
His warmth grounded you, but the nightmare still clung to you like poison, lingering in your skin, in your bones. You inhaled, your cheek resting against the curve between his shoulder and neck. His scent wrapped around you, familiar and safe. He smelled of whiskey, tobacco, gunpowder, something darker, something uniquely him.
The fabric of his shirt was soft, worn, and beneath it, you could feel the subtle heat of his skin, along with the steady rhythm of his heartbeat. It was faster than usual, uneven, like he wasn’t as composed as he wanted to be.
The silence stretched between you for a long time, a heavy, fragile thing hanging in the air.
Then, Tommy’s voice finally broke it. "What did they do to you?"
You stiffened. Every muscle in your body locked up, panic flaring hot in your chest. Your breath shook, your fingers twisting into his shirt as your mind raced, panicked, hesitated. 
If he knew, would he still want you?
"Shelby won’t want you now."
"Damaged goods."
"Bet he won’t even look at you when we’re done." 
The cruel messages from the men lingered in the forefront of your mind. You were damaged. Used. Broken. What if he’d see you differently now? What if he never touched you the same again? What if he’d– 
"Please,” he cut in. “I have to know." 
Slowly, you swallowed, your throat tight, aching, before you finally forced the words past your lips. "They–" your voice was barely a whisper. "They touched me, Tommy."
The air in the room shifted as Tommy stiffened. Then his jaw clenched, his breath sharp and ragged through his nose. Before you could process it, he was moving. Standing up and turning toward the door. For a second, your brain didn’t register it– or understand.
Then, it hit you. 
He was leaving… Heading straight for the door. Panic slammed into your chest, raw and frantic.
"Tommy–" Your voice broke, but he didn’t stop.
No, no, no– 
"I’m sorry, I– I tried," you choked out, your throat burning, your hands reaching for him but too weak to move from the bed. "I swear, I fought. I– I should’ve fought harder, I–"
Tommy froze in place.
You didn’t realize you were crying again, but the words kept spilling out, rushed and broken, desperate to keep him here, to explain how hard you fought. "I’m sorry," you gasped, barely able to breathe. "Please– please, don’t go– don’t leave me– I’m so sorry–"
Tommy turned sharply, crossing the room in two strides, and then, his hands were on your face, cradling you, forcing you to look at him.
"No." His voice was firm, steady, but his eyes… His eyes were shining, raw, and shattered. "This is not your fault."
Your breath hitched, but he didn’t let go.
"I should’ve been there," he whispered, voice thick with agony, regret, fury… at himself, at the men who did this, at everything. "You hear me? I should’ve been there. And I should never have sent you away. I was wrong. And I’m so fucking sorry."
A tear slipped down your cheek, and Tommy wiped it away with his thumb, his touch careful.
“I thought–” you stammered. “I thought you were going to leave.”
"Christ, I’m not leaving you love," he murmured, his voice so quiet, so broken it nearly undid you completely. "I just–" he swallowed thickly, his jaw tightening. "I want to go back there and kill every last one of those bastards for what they did to you."
You closed your eyes, your body shaking, exhausted, drained. But when you leaned forward, Tommy caught you instantly, pulling you into him, holding you tightly against his chest.
"Please stay," you whispered, your voice thin, fragile, desperate. "Please, Tommy– don’t go."
His hands tensed against your face, thumbs still brushing against your cheekbones, his blue eyes searching yours, reading every ounce of fear buried beneath the words.
"I’m not going anywhere, love," he murmured, his voice low, rough with emotion, as if saying the words out loud solidified them in stone.
A quiet, broken noise escaped your throat– not quite a sob, not quite relief, but something in between.
His hands slipped down, his arms gathering you close. Your forehead pressed against his chest, his warmth grounding you.
He dipped his head, his lips brushing against your temple, barely a whisper of contact, but the weight of it was enough.
"I never should’ve sent you away," he murmured, his voice softer now, but still laced with the guilt he would never forgive himself for. "And I promise you, love, I won’t make that mistake again."
Your fingers weakly clung to his shirt, your body melting against him as the last of your strength gave out. 
And Tommy held you together.
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