#maybe someday I'll share them here ... I just get nervous ;;

[throughpatchesofviolet]

Hellbat sent me some new Heathcliff fanart, earlier, and I haven't been able to stop thinking about it ... I miss him so much.

[cal-daisies-and-briars]

⬆️ 1k max please

Okay I'll be honest with you I don't have 1k at a time of this one in me right now. I'm struggling a bit with the shape of this chapter. So here is 600! Sorry!

---

“I’m here for both of you,” Buck says. “Always. Sorry if I implied otherwise.”

Shannon nods. “I know you are. Sorry if I came in hot, I…”

She trails off. But Buck gets it. She’s used to having to do that. Because of the exact period of time she’s scared of reliving. 

“We’ll be okay,” Buck says. 

Shannon takes a deep breath.

“Yeah. We will.”

🔼

Later that evening, when Eddie crawls into bed beside Buck, Buck turns over to wrap him in his arms.

“I’m sorry,” he whispers. “I shouldn’t have reacted like that.”

“I know how you react,” Eddie whispers. “It’s okay.”

“It’s not,” Buck replies. “Look how close we are right now? I know you’re not going anywhere.”

Eddie kisses the bare skin of Buck’s shoulder. “I’m not.”

“Is there something more I can be doing for you?” Buck asks. 

Eddie shakes his head.  “No. You… I know how much you love me. That helps more than you know.”

“I love you so damned much,” Buck says. He kisses Eddie. “I love you so much it’s like little worms in my brain controlling all my thoughts and feelings.”

“That’s disgusting,” Eddie complains.

“I love you a disgusting amount.”

Eddie snorts. “See? That’s it. That’s all I need.”

iii.

The fall moves quickly. At least, for Shannon it does. 

Eddie is home a lot more, which helps. He’s working eight to four, at Dispatch of all places. Like he stepped in where Maddie left. Except, he’s not a dispatcher. Regardless, the change in schedule helps Shannon significantly with her final term of school. She’s grateful for that, and she’s grateful for Eddie working through things she never thought she’d see him address. Mostly that, actually. 

Some days are harder than others. Eddie comes home from some of his therapy appointments looking ragged. Like he’s just experienced some of the things he must be talking about. Somedays, he’s hardly present. Buck and Shannon tip toe around it, advising the children to give him space when needed. That’s not often. But it does happen. 

Sometimes, she visits Maddie. Either with Buck or without. Maddie has received an official diagnosis, beyond the expected postpartum depression. Postpartum thyroiditis. She really did need time and medical help to recover, not just the meds her doctor before had left her with. It makes Shannon wonder, should she have sought more help? Was that an option? She doesn’t think she was ever quite as bad as Maddie got, but… Still. She’d struggled a lot after Chris. Maybe there was more she could have done about that.

Anyway, she and Maddie rebuild their friendship during those visits. She, Eddie, and Buck babysit Jee a fair amount for Chim now, and Shannon always has stories to share. Maddie seems like herself again, albeit sad and in recovery. Missing her child and her life. Shannon understands that. She never asks Maddie when she’s going to go home. She goes, she visits, she talks. That’s all she can do. 

iv.

Eddie is feeling sort of like a drowned cat when it happens. 

He’s sitting at home, in the living room, playing video games with his son. Which is the only reason he feels sort of like a drowned cat and not completely. He’d had a tough session. They’d really dug deep into Eddie’s time in Afghanistan. Into the chopper crash; Eddie’s guilt for being fine, when others had died. How that connects to his confusion over surviving the shooting. His fear about dying again. Frank wants him to call some of the other survivors of the chopper, to talk it through with them. He’s nervous. He’s hesitant. So instead, he’s playing video games with his son. Simulating war is easier than talking about it, apparently. 

[simslegacy5083]

Today's (5/20/2025) Episode: The Morning After

The next morning, Skye woke up with warm arms wrapped around xem, making xem feel safe and loved… and then xe remembered those arms weren’t Elyse’s.

Before xe had time to think about that or dwell on how xe'd gotten there a wave of nausea sent xem running to the toilet.

How can I be sick and starving at the same time!? Xe wondered, brushing xir teeth in an attempt to get the bad taste out of xir mouth I don’t know, but I do know a grilled cheese sounds AMAZING.

"Does this mean you and Valeria are going to be friends someday?" xe asked xir bump as xe headed to the kitchen to cook up a batch of sandwiches for xem and Betty to share. 

Betty… xe glanced up towards the loft, suddenly nervous I'll let her sleep, but once she gets up, we have to talk about what happened and what we're going to tell the others. 

Skye moaned softly as xe fought down a wave of queasiness that had less to do with the baby and more to do with the upcoming conversation.

Betty came down just as xe fired up the stove. “Morning” she smiled nervously. “I’ll work on excavating this artifact while you finish breakfast.”

“Sounds good,” Skye began “I was dying for a grilled cheese, and I figured we could…”

“Right” she nodded, turning to work on the huge dirt encrusted lump, only breaking the loaded silence as they sat to eat. “How are you feeling?”

“Like I want to devour this entire platter in one go but equally worried I’ll not be able to keep any of it down.” xe shrugged “Normal pregnancy stuff.”

“About last night…” they both began in unison “You first” Betty gestured for xem to continue.

Skye nodded, averting xir gaze “Betty, last night was… amazing… but it should never have happened. I don’t know what I’m going to tell Elyse; she’s going to be devastated.” At the thought of coming clean a new fear gripped Skye’s heart: It’s been so long, what if she also has something to tell me…

“Tell…? We can’t…!” Skye stared in shock as xir normally chipper friend burst into tears.

“If Greyson… found out…” she sobbed “You don’t know him like I do. He’s so hard on himself. He’s always saying I’m too good for him; that he doesn’t know what he did to deserve me. If he found out about this… it would break his heart! We have to keep this between us, please Skye, we have to!”

Skye didn’t know what to say. I don’t want to hurt Betty, or Greyson, but I have to tell Elyse… don’t I? 

As xe sat there, trying to decide how to respond, the memory of that night in The Hollow came back to xem. How much better would things have been if Elyse had kept quiet or said something less hurtful? What good did telling me that truth ever do anyone?

“OK, we don’t have to tell them, but it … it can’t happen again. I’m so, so sorry. I…”

“Don’t be sorry” she replied softly. “Last night was wonderful. You’re right though, it can’t happen again. That’s why I, well, I think I need to go.”

Now it was Skye’s turn to panic.

As Betty started talking about packing up her things xir heart started racing a million miles a minute, her voice fading out as xir own panicked thoughts took over If she leaves, I’ll be all alone! I can’t do this all by myself, I’m not strong enough, but I can’t go home. Elyse made it clear she doesn’t want to see me right now. What am I going to do!?

“…I mean I came here to explore the jungle, and I’ve barely scratched the surface. Maybe I’ll even find an ancient temple! Skye? Skye, are you OK?”

“I’m sorry, I’m so sorry, please don’t leave!” Skye sobbed, gasping for air, xir stomach a tight knot of anxiety as xe imagined being all by xemself again.

Not all alone… the baby… what if something happens to our baby!? Xe wrapped xir arms protectively around xir stomach, curling in on xemself and starting to hyperventilate as xe cried even harder.

Alarmed, Betty rushed around the table to xir side. “Please Skye, you’ve got to calm down and breathe, you’re going to hurt yourself or the baby. Here” she pulled out xir inhaler “This might help.”

“I still think we need some time apart,” she went on, “and I want to see more of the jungle, but I won’t leave you alone right now.” Xe told me xe was ready to give up because xe couldn’t handle being on xir own and here I am threatening to abandon xem… for making love to me… while xe’s pregnant with OUR baby! I’m the world’s biggest plumhole! she silently berated herself, running her fingers gently through Skye’s hair Of course xe freaked!

In the end they agreed that Betty would start spending her days exploring the jungle while Skye continued to explore the city.

“I’m truly sorry I scared you” Betty apologized “I promise I won’t leave you to deal with everything all by yourself, I should never have suggested it. I just…” *I just care for you so much, I always have. Now you finally see me, and its too late. “*I just wasn’t thinking”

“I’m sorry I freaked out” xe countered “I…” I’ve never felt this way about anyone… other than Elyse… before… “… I want you to go enjoy your jungle adventure, but I’m glad you’ll still be coming back here at the end of the day. I’ll make sure to keep the ice packs nice and icy for you” Xe grinned.

The pair spent the rest of their meal in a solemn silence, lost in thoughts of what was and what might have been.

Want To See More?

View The Full Story of My Not So Berry Challenge Here

[elle-p]

Differences between the events script in the original and FES, not including fixed typos/spacing(which is the vast majority of it)

Main story

This one is also voiced

Bebe rank 10

Maya rank 4

Mamoru rank 2

The first interaction is completely different. Text only since it's quite long.

Mamoru: Man this is good stuff… If I had the money, I'd get some for Mom. …Hey, {F1 0B}. Can you keep today a secret? That I had ramen, I mean.

{"A secret from who?"}

Mamoru: Y'know, my trainer, the coach… They all decide what I can or can't eat. It's not fair! Normal people get to eat whatever they want. But, if that's what I have to do to win, then…

> Mamoru seems confused.

{"Yeah, no problem."}

Mamoru: Thanks.

> Mamoru is pleased.

Mamoru: Y'know, my trainer, the coach… They all decide what I can or can't eat. It's not fair! Normal people get to eat whatever they want. But, if that's what I have to do to win, then…

Mamoru: Man this is good stuff… If I had the money, I'd get some for Mom. Oh yeah, I forgot to mention that, huh? I get to eat for free here. Not just here, but any restaurant in the whole strip mall. They're all supporting me. I'm the only one who can eat as much as I want, wherever I want. Cool, huh? But I feel kinda bad about taking advantage of their sponsorship, so sometimes I pay the bill anyway… Someday, I'll pay them back for everything I owe. But for now, I gotta keep letting those restaurant owners spoil me. Someday I'll be famous, and then I'll be the one sponsoring them!

{I'm jealous.}

Mamoru: Haha, yeah, right. I've got a lot of people to support… That's why I won't rest until I'm a big star.

> Mamoru seems a bit tired…

{No pressure, huh?}

Mamoru: Well, I'd be lying if I said there wasn't ANY. But you gotta have some pressure to keep you motivated, right? What matters is how you deal with it.

> Mamoru seems to keep telling himself that…

Mamoru rank 8

Mamoru rank 10

The Star ultimate Persona is different

All the test questions and clasroom lectures are different. That's so many, so I'll maybe do it in another post.

On 8/14, Edogawa doesn't mention his supplimentary lessons.

Starting Christmas date

Yuko: This is the best Christmas ever. I'm having an amazing time.

Yuko: This isn't my usual Christmas. To be honest, I'm normally not that interested in Christmas. It's nice, sure, but it's just another day. But when I was a kid, and we had chicken and cake as a family, after the presents in the morning… I'd wake up and find the presents right by my pillow. I really believed Santa had come during the night! Back then, it was so much fun… And now, this year, it's fun again in a different way. This is my kind of Christmas!

This one is after choosing 'So, what's next?', so I couldn't find footage of FES'.

Chihiro: What…? Umm, what exactly do you mean by that…? ……
I-If… If I'm with [F1 0B]-san…

Chihiro: I'm so glad we could spend today together… Um, thanks! I've been really nervous… ever since this morning.

Chihiro: This is, um, the first special occasion I've shared with someone… But, um… …if you don't mind, [F1 0B]-san… …… I'd like to spend more time with you like this…

Chihiro: Umm… I-I've been so nervous since this morning… Because, well… You know… Today is Christmas Eve, when you see lots of couples. This is… my first Christmas together with a boy… I don't really know what to do…

Chihiro: Ahaha… This is kind of awkward. It's not as if I'm with a stranger… I'm with you, [F1 0B]-san. I know I shouldn't be so nervous. After all, I've already embarassed myself in front of you so many times… …… Christmas… What a beautiful season.

Ending Christmas date

These are really long so just the text

Yukari: Oh, look how late it is… We better get going. Thanks for today.

> You decide to go back to the dorm.

Yukari: Wow, look at the time… …… We can stay a little longer, right…? I'm sure everyone else is going to be late getting back too, since it's Christmas… …Well, maybe not Junpei. I'm sure he's hanging out with the guys… But uh, that's a little off subject… What I wanted to say was… I want to be with you a little longer tonight… …… H-Hey, are you cold? It's cold, right? …… Can I… come closer? …… H-How about if you… wrap your arms around me…

> You spent time with Yukari until night fell.

Fuuka: It's getting late… Thanks so much for today.

> You decide to go back to the dorm.

Fuuka: We should get going soon… …Oh! Mitsuru-senpai said that since she doesn't think everyone will get back in time, we won't go to Tartarus.
I really look up to Mitsuru-senpai. She's so kind and reliable… …What about you, [F1 0B]-kun? …Oh, s-sorry! I think that came out the wrong way… I thought you might like Mitsuru-senpai… you know… as a woman. I guess I'm just afraid that… you'll go away... B-But I'm happy to be here with you today… It means a lot to me. …… …Thank you for staying with me. I'll always be happy to support you… and to be with you. Not just in battle, or during a mission, but… from now on, I… Love-- …*gasp* U-Um! Sorry about that! …… What should we do after this…? After all… we have more time…

> You spent time with Fuuka until night fell.

Mitsuru: It's getting late… Thank you for accompanying me today.

> You decide to go back to the dorm.

Mitsuru:
It's getting late… …Sometimes, when I'm with you, I wish the wristwatch had never been invented. What would you call this feeling…? …… Is it safe to say it's…? …… S-Sorry. I was talking to myself. …… It was only an idle thought. Don't look at me like that… You'll see my face getting red… …… This place is too bright… …Let's change places.

> You spent time with Mitsuru until night fell.

Yuko: Wow, look at the time… We'd better get going. Thanks for coming today!

> You decide to go back to the dorm.

Yuko: Shoot, how'd it get so late…? I don't wanna go home. …… I want to stay here… …... Just kidding! ……
I mean, we have school tomorrow. We can't stay here all night dressed in our uniforms! So we've gotta go home… right? ……
…Well… Let's stay a little bit longer…

> You spent time with Yuko until night came.

Chihiro: Wow, it's getting late… Thanks for today.

> You decide to go back to the dorm.

Chihiro: Did you… notice the time…? It flew by so fast. I hope we don't get in trouble with the police… their station is right there, too. …… …But I might not mind if that happens… I just want to stay by your side for a little longer… When I'm with you, I'm nervous, but I'm comfortable, too… I don't know what to think… But those are the times I love… the times I spend with you. …… A-And not just the times… Your face, your fingers, your smell… Everything… ……
D-Don't make me say it… …… Ohhh…!

> You spent time with Chihiro until night came.

[putschki1969]

2024/07/30 Blog post by Wakana 明日締め切りです！！〜夏の強めの目覚ましビーム〜

❗This is Fan Club EXCLUSIVE content❗ ❗PERSONAL USE ONLY❗ ❗Do NOT SHARE on other sites❗ ❗Join her FAN CLUB! Check out my detailed TUTORIAL ❗

The Deadline Is Tomorrow!! ~Powerful Summer Wake-up Beam~

These days, it's hot every day… 😇How is everyone doing? During the summer, I run the air conditioner in my living room 24 hours a day. When I go to bed, I open the bedroom door a little to let the cool air from the living room flow into the bedroom…The gap in my door is perfectly in line with a small vertical window on the east side of my living room. Every morning without fail at around 5 o'clock, the strong morning sun hits my eyes like a laser beam. (I took this photo while half asleep) It's a very intense way to wake me up. This morning, I was woken up by the beam as usual.

Hello, this is Wakana (0￣▽￣0)／

Of course I'll go back to sleep. 😪💤I've been thinking about putting up some kind of blind on this small window, but every year, the summer ends without me putting anything on it 😂

Now, everyone!! The deadline for this month's podcast submissions for the episode on August 10th is tomorrow! ＼＼\٩( 'ω' )و //／／

The talk topics arte:

What kind of pillow do you use?

Anything you want to ask me♪

Please tell me about your pillow situation at home! Which kind do you find comfortable to sleep on? Do you even use a pillow? Or maybe you have a bunch of pillows? Or you could share a particular way of sleeping on a hot humid night! I'm just very curious about everyone's pillows! 😄And of course you can ask me anything you want once again so please don't hesitate to send your questions＼(^o^)／I'm waiting! ! ! ･:*+.(( °ω° ))/.:+

Click here to submit a message! ↓↓↓ https://wakana-fc.jp/answers/botanical_oshaberi_12/new

Everyone, please take care of your health and don't push yourself too hard! The other day I felt a bit squeamish when I was drying my hair with a hair dryer 😱 I think it was probably because it was too hot 😓Even though I was in a cool room with a fan on and keeping hydrated🥺 Your head can get overheated easily even if you are being careful🥺Don't forget to take precautions against heatstroke even when you're at home!

Until next time~☆( '▽')/

＊＊＊Wakana＊＊＊

2024/08/01 Instagram post by Wakana

Last month, I went to "Ghibli Park and Ghibli Exhibition" in Tokyo‼️(^o^) It was so much fun~😍 This has made me want to go to Ghibli Park even more ✨I'll definitely go someday…😳✨There were so many great photo spots, I had so much fun taking a ton of picutres😂Today I'll focus on the Totoro section💕 I was happy to see Totoro and the Cat Bus welcoming me at the entrance♡ The inside of the the Cat Bus was so fluffy🥰 They also had Satsuki and Mei's father's study room in display. I love the wobbly pillars😂

I got a Totoro and a little Totoro as souvenir☺️💓 I have a lot of other photos so I'll post them later~🌻(Source)

2024/08/04 Instagram post by Wakana

"Ghibli Park and Ghibli Exhibition" Photos Part 2!! 🥳🎉 Today's post is dedicated to Princess Mononoke 🐾 Here I am at the photo spot where you can ride on Yakul and Yamainu on a merry-go-round 📸They were both so cute and beautifully decorated…😍💕I brought along my San keychain, so I showed it to Yakul 🤗 (Yakul didn't seem particularly interested though) (Source)

2024/08/07 Instagram post by Wakana

"Ghibli Park and Ghibli Exhibition" Photos Part 3!!🥳🎉 Today is dedicated to Spirited Away 🐲🍙 I got to take some photos with No-Face😍💕 I was nervous…😳💓No-Face was pretty tall😳 It was bigger than I imagined and I thought "Wow"😳

I also visited Yubaba's room🤗I had a big smile on my face while imagining Yubaba saying to me, "From now on, your name is Waka! Okay, Waka!"😂I wasn't intimidated at all😂

Tomorrow I'll post a little summary of my adventures at "Ghibli Park and Ghibli Exhibition"!!🧚✨ (Source)

2024/08/08 Instagram post by Wakana

I'm worried about everyone in Kyushu after the earthquake that occurred this evening. I hear that there might be a wave of aftershocks and other earthquakes but I hope that the damage will not be too great. The expected epicenter area also includes the Kanto region so I will do my best to be prepared. Please be careful, everyone.

Yesterday I mentioned that I would upload a little summary of my Ghibli adventure so here it is☺️ These are the last photos from my visit to"Ghibli Park and Ghibli Exhibition"🥳🎉I was able to look at various exhibits but now, more than ever, I want to go to Ghibli Park soon🥺 That really sums up my feelings…!!🥺💓 It's like a dream to be able to actually experience those amazing stories in the real world✨I vowed to myself that I will definitely go to the park someday soon🧚Until then, I will continue to dream about that day! 😻🔥(Source)

[rbkzz]

...[*whispered*] wip wednesday?

(context under the cut)

(is this is too long?)

(i wrote a trixie/keris one-shot)

(it is my first written thing)

(i am so nervous!)

(trixie pov)

Penelope Bunce is once again whirling around our room like a frizzy haired tornado.  She has literally picked up and put down every single article of clothing, book, paper, or other object at least twice (except the box under my bed, thank goodness I spelled that).

She’s such a menace – their whole golden trio is.  People say I’m annoying because of my dust, short attention span, and possessive tendencies (well anyone who had to grow up in a lower faedom and pay a tithe to the aes sidhe of all your most precious belongings each year would end up being a possessive brat too! I just don't like to share if I can avoid it is all)... 

…but I think the ‘golden trio’ made up of Snowbuncebelove should get an actual award for being the most annoying, self-absorbed students at Watford.  Nobody else would stand a chance - they’d win that award category every year.

Recently on discord my alpha @noblecorgi was lamenting the lack of lesbian smut in the CO fandom... they then got into an interesting discussion with @roomwithanopenfire about pixies/other fae folk. There was aaaalso a recent conversation about Niamh and their perspective in AWTWB about how the leads of CO had been living in their own bubble at Watford (unreliable narrators the whole lot of 'em!!)

Even though I don't write I loved the ideas that were shared, so I decided to try to smoosh them all together into a Trixie/Keris one-shot lesbian smut fic.

I got really excited about writing and caught up in the experience of it - it was so much fun!! Now I know why people do it! @roomwithanopenfire even beta read for me for which I am soooo grateful ♡♡♡♡

......aaaand then the next day I embarked on an intense perfectionist shame spiral (iykyk) and decided I should hide myself and my ideas away forevermore 🥲

However...... my brain itself is an unreliable narrator 🫠 And my recent therapy homework is to regularly try new things, mess up publicly, and be imperfect in order to rewire my brain to understand that I am still okay even when I am bad at things. Sooo I am posting part of my first fic here as therapy homework and for accountability as well as to continue on my plight of becoming consistently and unabashedly imperfect. Maybe someday I'll find the courage to post it on ao3 😬

I don't know about tags because I'm still so confused and shy about putting myself out here on tumblr 🙊 but I doooo want to say THANK YOU for tags and hellos! I love to read what y'all are up to, even though I usually wait til fics are posted in completion before starting (I'm too impatient to wait for chapter updates 🤪). xoxo!

my first wip wednesday!

[all-eyes-lead-to-the-truth]

All Eyes Lead to the Truth | Brand X (7x18)

It was a good arrangement– free smokes for him, a couple of tests for them. Darryl used to buy Lucky Strikes, mostly. Marlboros were fine. Newports did the job. Camels were shit. But these Morleys…

They were decent at first, but they grew on him. The more he smoked, the more he wanted. The ones at the gas station near his apartment weren’t the same. Not as crisp or earthy or whatever shit the men in suits used to describe how they were supposed to taste. For Darryl, the ones at the store just didn’t scratch the itch the way this new brand did.

Plus, there was the issue of his disability checks not stretching as far as they used to, what with inflation and the big guy in the White House and all his taxes. Not a lot of extra funds available after his landlord and a bite to eat, and a man needs to smoke.

Darryl saw the flyer for the study in Joe’s bar. Drunk off his ass with the same old townies that were always there. The black and white Xerox was tacked on the door of the bathroom. “Smokers wanted. New brand. Compensation.” There were those strips at the bottom with the phone numbers, but he ripped the whole damned sheet off the door and shoved it in his pocket.

And as they say, the rest was history. His history turned out to be better than some of the other participants. The other ones dropped like flies. Couldn’t take the heat, but that just meant more smokes for Darryl. Because once he decided he liked this new brand, he also figured out these men– these doctors and corporate types could come in handy. They needed him. He hadn’t quite worked out why, but he knew he had the leverage. They wanted him to keep coming to their office, to keep quiet about what he knew. If they wanted that, then he could get what he wanted, too.

Shame Dr. Scobie had to die. He understood what Darryl needed. First, it was a couple packs, then a few more, until he was bringing cartons at a time, right to Darryl’s door. No need to even leave his apartment. That doctor was better than the pizza guy.

He was gone now, same as the rest, so it was the other guy’s turn to see how this all worked. His house was nice, this Dr. Voss. Yard, big garage… nice car he pulled into it, too. They were all the same– Darryl, Scobie, Voss– all reaping the benefits of this very particular brand of cigarettes.

The fog was a nice touch. Voss didn’t see him coming until he was right there by the trunk of his car. “Evening.”

“What are you doing here?” Voss asked, like he hadn’t figured it out yet.

“Run out of smokes,” Darryl said. “Me and Dr. Scobie had an arrangement, as you know. So I figured, uh... Dr. Scobie not being around, that my arrangement with him... slides on over to you.”

Darryl flashed him a smile, because he was a good guy. Voss didn’t have to worry so long as he played his part. Judging by the way he closed his car door and walked towards him instead of heading into his house made Darryl think maybe he did get it.

He watched as the man in the suit put his ugly leather briefcase on top of the trunk of his car and pulled out two cartons. He handed them over almost like he was being robbed. Like Darryl had a gun held to his head.

“That won’t hold me,” Darryl said, not wanting to be a gift horse or whatever, but this wasn’t the arrangement.

“I'll bring you more,” Voss said with a nervous tone. “Just don't come here anymore, all right?”

Darryl watched as the other man closed his briefcase and smiled. “It seems everybody's acting funny around me all of a sudden, you know?” he asked. “Telling me not to talk, to stay away from their houses? Huh. Too bad about Dr. Scobie, huh?”

“Yeah.”

Darryl watched the doctor squirm, liking how it felt to be in control for once. “I bet people are wondering how he died, huh? I've been working my own theory up in the old noggin. I'd be happy to share it with you someday.”

Because he had figured it out. And he was pretty sure the local news would get a kick out of his story. Might pay him a buck or two for his time while they’re at it.

“I think that you should leave now.”

Voss was scared, which was good. Because then he’d do what Darryl wanted.

“Yeah. I don't want to wear out my welcome. We'll be seeing a lot of each other, I expect.”

He walked back to his car, got in, and pushed in the cigarette lighter. He ripped open the carton while he waited. Twenty packs. Should get him through for a little while, but Darryl wasn’t worried.

He’d get what he wanted. Those suits had gotten him here. They owed him.

Read the rest of All Eyes Lead to the Truth on Archive of Our Own!

@fridaysat9

[angelosearch]

Writing, and how it helps with a loud brain.

I am not an unusual person with mental illness in the sense that I think, a lot. My brain constantly searches for things to chew on, and it's natural inclination is toward self-criticism/hatred.

The thoughts move fast. I'll start with one concept and then other ideas get swept up with it. Supporting scenarios get analyzed. Social interactions get recontextualized. It builds momentum in the quiet, and the faster it gets, the louder it seems, until I feel like I've been sucked into an inescapable thought-tornado.

The trick is to slow it down early with some sort of intervention.

There are plenty of interventions that no longer serve me that are very effective - things that amounted to escapism, sometimes unconsciousness. At one time, I was so opposed to being with my own brain, I would avoid going home. I'd go out to bars every night, spending more money than I had, drinking more than I should, sharing my time with people I no longer know. I would stay at work long past my shift.

When I had to go home, I became set on clouding my mind until it was completely opaque. If all else failed, I just slept to avoid myself. I abused benadryl at one point so I could sleep through my days.

I've done a lot of work to understand where these thoughts come from, how to challenge them, and how to slow them, but there are still times when the thought-tornado touches down and picks up my perverbial brain-cow and takes it for a whirl. But I don't fear the funnel like I used to.

Writing helps me in multiple ways.

For one, if I chose to write out the negative thoughts instead of just thinking them, the narrative distance helps them feel less true. I also write slower than I think, so if I concentrate on capturing the ideas, I will never catch up. It's harder for the speed of the thoughts to build, especially in pen.

There is an element of escapism, but not to the point of avoidance. I will often start writing while I am trying to calm down, and then, once more level, I will come back and think about things more clearly. I also process a lot of what I think and feel through writing, even in fanfiction. Sometimes I give my characters the breakdown I am on the verge of, and the degree of separation makes it less severe.

And then, of course, writing is just fun sometimes. I get excited about ideas and it puts the self-hating thoughts on pause. It only takes a few minutes of a mindful activity to calm the nervous system, and it is important I don't let the thought-tornado hit those power lines.

I enjoy writing so much that I have learned to live more effectively with these thoughts. I don't want to run away from my brain, because yes, it is mean to me sometimes, but also it can create wonderful things. I find myself doing less and less to alter my state of consciousness because I want to be able to write. I can sit with myself, and that is something that, as an adult, I could not do until recently.

To mix metaphors here, I will tell you what I told my therapist this week:

My head used to be like a shitty gas station at night. I wanted to be in and out quickly, get what I needed and run. It was not a welcoming place, or a place that felt safe, and I would never go unless I needed to.

Now, my head more like a mid-teir grocery store (Safeway) a few days before a holiday. It's busy and stressful and over-stimulating, but I will go, and it will be safe, just a little frustrating. I will linger sometimes because I'll find an interesting product or I'll be willing to wait at the deli. As maddening as it can be, there will be some part of there experience to enjoy - maybe the early 2000s soft rock song over the PA or the fact the thing I needed was on sale.

Someday, I hope my head is like a really nice grocery store (Wegmans) at a time when it is empty, maybe at 5 am when they bring out the fresh bagels. Then, I won't mind wandering for hours.

Anyway that was a tangent, but I was writing this to calm a thought-tornado and, guess what? It worked. Writing for the win, ya'll.

[gutterballgt]

I'm kind of nervous doing this since I've only done this like, once before (despite all my years on Tumblr) and it was anonymously, but hi, I really, really like your Chaleigh fics. You probably get that a lot but they are absolute goddamn works of art and are literally inspiring all my muses as I read them. I remember reading through a ton of them a few years back before dropping out of Pacific Rim for a while, and honestly, rereading them now, they're definitely a must read if you're big on Pacific Rim (and Chaleigh)

Literally, they are reawakening the fanfic writer in me. I have so many ideas that I want to write inspired by your fics. A throwaway line from "Here a Dragon, There a Dragon" and I find myself plotting out a domestic future fic spin off because I cannot resist. Your works are a blessing and a gift and I just wanted to let you know (and set myself up to share all the ideas that your AUs and writing inspires because I need an outlet and what better place-)

Thank you so, so much for reaching out to tell me this! I am so stoked to hear that people are still reading and ENJOYING my work! I keep telling myself I'll finish all my in-progress fics someday, and posts like these make me think maybe I should.

I've been writing original stuff the past couple of years, but fanfic will always be near and dear to my heart, and Pacific Rim will ALWAYS be my fandom of choice, so I'm glad to know that you're there, too.

I'm seriously grinning SO HARD right now. Seriously. THANK YOU.

Eeeeeee!

[yakuzacanons]

If you're still taking requests, how would the boys help out their s/o that has scars/trauma around dogs?

Such a good ask, I have a few family members that struggle with this actually so I can kinda draw from some experience here. This is a relatively short one, just because my other recent post about comforting an s/o dealing with emotional/mental shit is up and a lot of it can be cross referenced here. Headcanons below da cut.

Kazuma Kiyru

He'll ask the kids to keep Mame away from you, especially since Mame barks a lot. If you decide you want to try to overcome this fear, he'll allow it but he'll keep a watchful eye and will notice if you've hit your limit. Not mindful of scars at all, as he has plenty himself. Very big protector energy, super understanding, never judgemental.

Majima Goro

Type of idiot to say "Dontcha worry, if a dog tries to bite ya, I'll just bite it back!" which doesn't really help but at least makes you laugh. Totally isn't afraid to tell strangers if the dog they're walking is barking at you too much, saying things like "Ya gots to be mindful of other people, ya know!". As for scars, like Kiryu, he's got plenty of his own. If you ever feel self conscious, he'll once again say something silly like "Babe, if ya can love me with a whole eye missin', then ya got nothin' to worry 'bout when it comes to yer appearance! Compared to me, yer hot as hell!".

Akiyama Shun

He kind of gets nervous around dogs too. Really, he's nervous around most small animals or small children as he has zero idea what to do with them, especially when they get noisy. He empathizes with you a lot in this aspect. Out of all the boys, it is easiest to confide your fears or trauma with Akiyama as he shares a similar mindset, even if he doesn't have personal trauma around dogs. Type of guy to wrap his arm around your shoulder if you're walking by a particularly aggressive dog while saying "Just keep walking, I'm right here, okay?".

Tanimura Masayoshi

Has never had a pet in his life and honestly never wanted one. Since he's a cop, he's good at enforcing neighborhood laws like owners having to scoop their dog's poop, so most of the pet owners in the area are pretty up to snuff. You won't have to worry about a rogue dog getting aggressive out of the blue. Type of sweet baby boy to kiss your scars when you get upset about them and say "There, all better now!".

Saejima Taiga

Has a really good connection with animals so they don't actually get super aggressive around him. Maybe it's because he's built like a tank. Either way, he's really understanding and is the type of guy to stand between you and a dog when you're on a walk, keeping the dog out of view, so you can cross the street and feel safe, all the while saying things like "Don't worry, I gotcha". He's super neutral on having pets so you never have to worry about him wanting to bring a puppy back home one day.

Ryuji Goda

Biggest dog person out of all the boys so he will want a dog someday. However, he would never make any important life decisions without talking to his partner first and he would make sure you felt safe and prepared if he really wanted to bring a dog into the family. Most likely to actually help you overcome the fear by slowly getting you to interact with dogs, as he really likes pets and frequents pet cafes. He'll show you how to approach them, how to read their body language, and the like, all while saying "See, sometimes they're just as scared as ya, but they ain't all bad." Ryuji would rather see you learn to overcome your fears than try to blindly shield you from them.

Nishikiyama Akira

He is ALSO actually scared of dogs. Just looks really shocked if one starts barking loudly at him and then just sneaks away. He'll comfort you by jokingly say "We survived that dog encounter", allowing you both to laugh about it in hindsight. Truthfully, he's kind of sheepish that he gets skittish around loud or big dogs so it's nice that you both can understand each other without feeling like you have to reason with each other or explain it over and over again.

Daigo Dojima

He's actually a cat person. He's not afraid of dogs but he's kind of sensitive to loud noises so when he hears a lot of dogs barking, he gets frustrated or annoyed. If you have particularly bad trauma with dogs, he'll enforce a no-dogs-allowed-on-Tojo-Clan-property rule. He takes a private car most places so you don't have to worry much about public interactions with dogs. Also the type of guy to kiss your scars but instead of saying they're all better, he'll say "I love every single part of you. Even your scars".

Mine Yoshitaka

Ever the fearless lad, Mine would probably bark back at a loud dog to make you smile before saying "I gave that dog a good talking to, he won't be bothering you" which only makes the two of you giggle. Glares at people who let their dogs wander around freely, as he thinks it's a public nuisance and not helpful for anyone. If you guys run into a dog on a walk out and you start to panic, he'll say "Let's take a detour and take the long way home." and he would never judge you for feeling anxious. Very good at removing you from situations of stress.

[starfragment1979]

i'm possibly making a poor choice, but i'm not gonna get any better at talking to people if i don't socialize more. soooo.. yippee? i'm gonna regret not sending this, but i'm also gonna be super nervous if i do send this, but i think it's worth the risk.

anyway, i really hope i'm not a bother! i'd usually be anonymous when sending asks to people who aren't my friends, but that's not an option, and maybe it'd be better if i wasn't anonymous anyways.

i really hope i don't come off as weird or anything! i tend to ramble about things i enjoy, and i struggle to compact things into smaller paragraphs/sentences sometimes. hopefully this isn't overwhelming or anything! please do take your time if you end up reading it. ^^

also please don't feel obligated to do anything about this! i just wanted to let you know, just in case it makes your day even a tiny bit better, regardless of how it's going.

okay, i'll get to the point and try not to overthink too much since then i might end up not even sending it.

so long story short, i'd been feeling particularly down during the time i stumbled upon the fanfictions. i did hesitate, as i really don't read fanfictions (i've only read a handful of them as of right now), but i decided there's no reason not to at least check it out.

and i didn't regret it one bit. i'd say it's genuinely one of the best things i've read, along with books from my favorite (non-fanfiction) author and a certain fanfic for the stanley parable. i actually got an ao3 account recently, mostly so that i could read them if they ever end up being restricted again, and for easier access to the very few fanfictions i've actually read before. (also, hahah, i think i was that one guest who left kudos on a bunch of the fanfics overnight, and it made my day better to see that it made you happy! ^^ i... may have accidentally pulled an all-nighter, but i probably would've stayed up all night regardless. reading helped take my mind off of the stress i was feeling and all the bad thoughts i'd been having, so they really helped me get through the night. ^^)

definitely fueled my fixation for animal crossing, and helped contribute to me starting to get over my fear of (most) bugs that i've dealt with for most of my life.

also, this is how i found out luna moths live in minnesota. i've lived here for over half of my life and love learning about lepidoptera, but i didn't know luna moths lived here. which is super cool. i hope i can see one someday, i usually only see the little tiny moths you find in houses. (actually, i have one of those tiny friends on my wall currently! ^^)

in short? thank you! ^^ i hope you're doing alright!

this wasn't supposed to be so long, but here we are. sorry for rambling and potentially being a bother! i spent about 30 minutes typing this, overthinking this, deleting it and starting from scratch, and all that "fun" stuff. sorry if it was confusing!

(sorry for jumping from topic-to-topic, i do it and by the time i realize i've done it it's too late. 🥲 also, i've shared them with i think 3 friends by now, and the only one that's read them as far as i know has been really liking them, too! ^^)

i should get going (i usually do my chores at 4 PM, but it's now 4:18 PM and they need to be done by 4:30), but i'd just like to say that "atlas_moth" was such a good choice imo. ^^ atlas moths are my favorite animal, and one of my mothers (yay for polyamorous parents!!) is working on some atlas moth wings (and possibly antennae) for me. ^^

okay, that's all, sorry for rambling for so long. hope your day is going well, and if not, i hope it gets better!

Aww, what a wonderful comment! I love hearing from my readers, and it means so much to me to hear that my stories helped you through a tough time. I hope you're doing better now.

(It's also awesome and very brave of you to be working through your bug phobia, and I'm glad I could help there, too. Incidentally I'm writing a story right now about Flick's childhood, and it includes a scene with little nine-year-old Flick encountering an Atlas moth for the first time. So you have that to look forward to. 🙂)

I am newish enough to Tumblr that I didn't realize I had to opt in to anonymous asks. But I've done that now, so if you or anyone else needs to be anonymous in the future, the option is there.

[gethoce]

I know it has been a while but I've been very stressed out and still am but I really wanna wrap this up somehow regardless.

First of all WOW to think that Valfrey would be number 2 in total propaganda! Sure, a lot was just me, but bunch of other people came in and ended up drawing her and making me feel included despite me struggling to socialise!

I was hoping I could draw the characters of everyone who showed their support at one point or another to celebrate, but as things stand I can not realistically tackle such a task. Just know that I am very grateful and have not forgotten. Maybe I'll be able to pay back your kindness someday. </3

(My honest recap of the tournament as a whole under the cut)

As some may know, I didn't join the first tournament. I was way too worried it'd just stress me out to be put into a competitive situation. So why did I join the second tournament? Mostly to finally participate in one of these Kirby community events. Put myself out there for once, jump over my shadow and attempt to socialise a little. So how did it go?

Uuuuuraaaargh…??

Trouble started already when I posted my character intro. I chose Valfrey because she is my favourite OC even though she isn't even my own most popular character. I didn't expect her to do well given how most posts that included her largely flopped. Since I didn't have much time and felt pressured to post my intro quickly I used existing art and quickly wrote some summed up information about her. Perhaps I could have done one of these cool intros some people drew up but I felt like I'd not be able to do that without ending up even more stressed. While I didn't expect the post to do well it was… still a little disappointing that it didn't really get attention. Panicked I drew up the icon featured in this post which also flopped so I stopped using it as my icon not too long after. Curse this insecurity.

The next hurdle showed itself when I noticed that my intro post didn't get reblogged by the tournament blog either. I was on the list of participants but the reblog didn't come. I decided to just wait and hope that it's just stuck in the queue somewhere. … so I waited. And waited…and waited… until it was clear that my post could not have been in the queue. I was frankly too nervous about contacting the mods, but thanks to the help of an amazin friend they were contacted and my post was finally reblogged.

That was also when people finally began to interact with Valfrey in my inbox too. It may have been a coincidence but I felt like the reblog might have helped.

ROUND 1 …

I fully expected to lose immediately. There was little hope in my heart in that regard. What I wanted to do was have a good time sharing my work and interacting with others. I did not have a good time during round 1. First of all I was too nervous to even look at the poll initially. I just didn't want to see it. It was pretty late for me when it was uploaded anyway (I live in Europe, that is public knowledge) so I decided to go to bed after posting some art.

The next morning I checked the tournament discord server. I was told people have said nice things there about me and Valfrey before and I thought maybe there is something new to improve my mood a little. Things were pretty tough irl as well so I was looking forward to a little pick me up. … There was… certainly talk about me and Valfrey. But not the kind that would bring me any joy.

First of all I want to be clear here… DO NOT HARASS THE PEOPLE I AM GOING TO TALK ABOUT. I'll just call them A and B. I just want to talk about my experience and hope that people will be more mindful in the future.

So, that not so beautiful Monday morning I stumbled across this conversation on the very much public discord server between A and B. A was apparently nervous because I had not yet responded to a message they sent me. Again, I live in Europe. It was night time for me. On a Sunday. For some reason neither of these two even considered time zones. One speculated that I was probably “getting flooded by asks” because they thought I have “a huge following” while the other thought I might be sick. The latter seems a bit more charitable at least but come on… I have things to do. Like sleeping at night. Just so you know the message A sent me was the only one I got that night. I have a niche blog within a niche fandom. I do not have a huge following, especially not the kind of following that would “flood me with asks”.

And then… oh, and then… B decided to hype up my opponent's OC… and tear down Valfrey afterwards. They basically called my work uncreative. This is something I do have absolutely no tolerance for. I dont even care which OC you are talking about, mine or anyone else's, this is unacceptable behaviour. Even if you do not like an OC, not all thoughts need to be expressed. You won't ever catch me badmouth anyone's OC even in DMs. You can compliment one OC without tearing down another.

I couldn't bring myself to answer that message for a few days and then finally told them that I am uncomfortable with what was said on the server and didn't want to continue interacting and blocked both A and B.

The next three rounds thankfully went rather smoothly. There was Artfight in between so I had less time to work on tournament stuff. Mostly narrow wins for Valfrey! Good fights and all. I even became comfortable enough to look at the polls sometimes. Not enough to look at the notes but still.

And then round 4 came around and you all know what happened. Some third party scumbag botted trying to get Valfrey to lose for unknown reason ruining the whole thing for both me and my opponent, who dropped out not long after and honestly I kinda wished I had too given what was waiting for me at round 5. I mostly kept quiet at the time believing in the ability of the mods to handle the situation. A lot of drama happened that I merely observed, not all related to the sabotage. I didn't think me chiming in too much would improve the situation so I didn't. It was very unpleasant overall and without going into too much detail I wished it could have been different. I honestly thought my opponent could have won against Valfrey naturally and was looking forward to it so I could catch a break but it wasn't meant to be.

Round 5, same thing happened again as round 4

Now to the grand finale… This time things went smoothly with the new system. Valfrey was actually leading at the very beginning much to my surprise. I predicted my opponent would win the tournament from the start so seeing Valfrey do decently meant a lot. Of course we lost in the end. A win would have been pretty cool but I was always fine with losing. Burnout hit me hard at the time though so I went into hiatus for a bit to recover.

The whole tournament was immensely stressful for me a lot of the time. At least some instances didn't need to happen. One thing I haven't brought up yet that bothered me was the mischaracterisation of Valfrey. Early on most of the time she was paired with Sir Uther as his “Sleep Paralysis Demon”, her actual lore being brushed aside. They actually hardly knew each other and the demon thing was supposed to be a one time joke. It felt like she was merely an accessory to this other OC which kinda hurt to see.

Then there were the times she was referred to as a “reaper” and towards the end as the creator of the suns… I don't really use the term reaper in my lore at all. A few times I did say it in response to others using the term though so maybe that's where that came from. Then the sun thing… Perhaps I didn't do a good enough job explaining her lore, but she only created a few suns, not all of them. For the record, she is considered a valkyrie and the primary focuses of her character are: warrior poet, samurai, duality, souls and most importantly she is the Underworld (Yomi) personified. The sun thing is like a thing she did a long time ago and doesn't really think about much anymore.

Also a few times people thought she was a man which, considering her lore, was more funny to me than anything.

Anyway, in conclusion… things didn't quite go as well as I was hoping but other things positively surprised me! Largely a mixed bag. If I ever get to participate in another community event I hope it'll go more smoothly!

Hello again all! After the riveting finale of last year's tournament, we've spent a few months collecting a selection of fun stats into our final 2024 Tournament Review!

From which participant had the most propaganda posted, to the total number of votes cast across the event, to which canon Kirby species was most represented, we hope you'll enjoy this send-off for the 2024 tourney!!

. · ͙ * ̩̩͙˚ ̩̥̩̥ * ̩̩̥͙ ✩ * ̩̩̥͙ ˚ ̩̥̩̥ * ̩̩͙ ‧ ͙ . . · ͙ * ̩̩͙˚ ̩̥̩̥ * ̩̩̥͙ ✩ * ̩̩̥͙ ˚ ̩̥̩̥ * ̩̩͙ ‧ ͙ .

★ POLLS WITH THE HIGHEST NUMBER OF VOTES a selection of the highest performing polls that attracted the most public attention

Mama D vs J: 848 votes

★ Dawn vs Starry Dee: 749 votes ★ Fylass vs Clark: 741 votes ★ Astro vs Noir Fontaine vs Techie: 592 votes ★ Sir Meteor vs Life: 554 votes

★ CHARACTERS WITH THE MOST PROPAGANDA characters who had the most propaganda posts for them, either from their own creator or from other artists

Fecto Flora 155 posts

★ Valfrey 112 posts ★ Sir Uther 108 posts ★ Noir Fontaine 98 posts ★ Dotty 95 posts

After applications closed at the end of April, the tournament ran from May 10th, 2024 to October 28th, 2024, just a few days shy of six months! During this time...

★ 143 competitors joined the tournament and made friends ★ 1,813 Propaganda posts were made by the community supporting those competitors, and reblogged to the @kirbyoctournament blog ★ 202 polls were made pitting your favorites against each other ★ across those polls, 43,165 votes were cast ★ and of all these, winners starstruck dee and Rope MF received 1179 votes and 699 votes respectively over the course of the event

★ RANDOM STATS

★ 36% (52) of entered OCs were of the "orb" species, with 33 of those taking up the mantle of "knight" specifically. far and away the most represented species ★ Waddle dees were the next most common entrant, with 17 OCs. ★ Ripple Fairies were the least showcased non common-enemy/custom species type, with only a single representative! ★ Of all OC names, "S" was the most common initial at 16 OCs, a statistic we do feel is influenced by the frequency of "sir" before names. Removing those, it was the letter "A", with 13. ★ The least successful initial was the letter "J", with all but one of their 4 representatives (75%) falling in the first round.

★ PROPAGANDA WITH THE MOST CHARACTERS INCLUDED most tournament characters included in a single piece (or single series) of propaganda

★ Tournament OCs Part One and Part Two by @ivynajspyder with a total of 60 competitors

★ 55 competitors Havent You Noticed I'm A Star? by @giantchasm ★ 29 competitors and 2 non competitors (total 31 characters) Congrats To Fecto Flora! by @ceoofmetagala ★ And an honorable mention with 13 competitors and 15 non competitors (total 28 characters), Stargate Commemorative Piece, by @moonverc3x

During the tournament, creators and fans of all kinds arrived to showcase their best skills in support of their own ocs, their friends, and even brand new favorite characters they had found. While it's of course impossible to pick just one stand out piece -and we strongly recommend you check our full propaganda tag to see many more of these incredible works- here are some notable and unique highlights suggested by the Kirby OC Tourney community!

★ Propaganda Hijack; Music cover by @boa35 ★ Vote Dotty; by @cauliarty ★ Vote Flora; by @metagalacafe ★ Valfrey icon; by @gethoce ★ Friendly Talk; by @sacrificecage

★ Dont Stop Rope MF Now; Animated music video by @mint-termsandconditions ★ Just another Astral; by @aseuki ★ Tea Time; by @quanblovk ★ Nighty Knight Mod; by @windstriker427 ★ Tournament armours; by @rosiegardenlove

★ Havent You Noticed I'm A Star; Animated music video by @giantchasm ★ Motifs and Symbols; by @kirbybecomesastarwarrior ★ Surprise propaganda; by @poppybros-jr ★ Go Life!; by @shippyo ★ Not In The Lead; by @hnm-tech-support

★ Noir's Field Trip; Masterpost of art, comics and asks by @desultory-novice ★ Space battle; by @pinkestmenace ★ Only In Passing; by @what-is-love-babey-dont-hurt-me ★ Wolfbell's Illustrated Roleplays; by @zombiecicada ★ Not Over yet; by @a-stardusted-sky

. · ͙ * ̩̩͙˚ ̩̥̩̥ * ̩̩̥͙ ✩ * ̩̩̥͙ ˚ ̩̥̩̥ * ̩̩͙ ‧ ͙ . . · ͙ * ̩̩͙˚ ̩̥̩̥ * ̩̩̥͙ ✩ * ̩̩̥͙ ˚ ̩̥̩̥ * ̩̩͙ ‧ ͙ .

And with this, we officially conclude the 2024 Kirby OC Tournament event!

Over the next few days we will reblog a few final propaganda posts we received notifications for since October. We also have a new pinned post with an FAQ regarding the tournament and when things may be picked up next!

Thank you for coming along on the ride with us, for sharing your creativity and supporting OCs, and for helping us to make this into a wonderful and enriching community event!

See you around!

[sendpseuds]

For the ask game: I'm going to be obnoxious and ask a shit ton but no pressure and just do the ones you feel like and/or have time for

How do you choose whose POV to write in?

What’s something about your writing that you’re proud of?

Is there a trope or idea that you’d really like to write but haven’t yet?

Does what you like to write differ from what you like to read?

How do you deal with writing pressure, whether internal or external?

What motivates you during the writing process?

Do you have any writing advice you want to share?

Dude. I have a surprise five-hour layover... I'm here to answer some questions hahaha

That being said, this first one...

1. I have no idea. POV is a real FEEL thing for me. I've noticed some patterns, for example, I tend to give the more tender smut scenes to whoever happens to be fucking Obi-Wan because I just feel like a soft Obi-Wan is more interesting through someone else's eyes, and Obi-Wan often gets his POV when he's hurting [of course].

This upcoming fic, [the infamous disaster threesome] has been a real lesson in perspective. Writing the same scene [especially a very intense and way too long smut scene] from three different perspectives has been WAY harder than I expected, but I really feel like it's only making me a stronger writer.

2. I'm really proud of the way my writing has evolved. I recently re-read a few early chapters and found myself desperately wanting to edit them. Not because I wanted to change any of the story or felt that my words weren't good enough, but because I can see how much I was clinging to traditional formatting.

I remember feeling like I needed to write in paragraphs and would get nervous when they didn't look as long as I thought they should.

Now, I've learned to embrace the return button.

Again.

And again.

And again.

Now, I'm writing the way I wanted to from the beginning but thought was WRONG.

I'm really proud of just letting myself write the way I want to.

3. I'm sure there are a million. The one my brain keeps coming back to over and over again is a Sith!Obi-Wan AU where HE is the one who tries to conquer Mandalore.

I have the vaguest of outlines and it's messy messy messy and maybe SOMEDAY I'll figure it all out, but alas, for now, it's just a mess

4. I... I don't read a lot. I'm a very slow reader which I've always been extremely insecure about [not that I think any of you would judge me on that but still].

This is actually one of the reasons I love fanfic so much.

With so many shorter works, I feel like I can consume just as many stories as my more literary friends in the same time.

5. NOT WELL! hahaha

Right now, the pressure I'm putting on myself is so intense, every time I open a doc I sort of just stare at the cursor until I close it. I actually haven't written more than a few sentences in, like, two weeks, because I just keep psyching myself out.

I'm working on it hahaha.

6. It was always FEEDBACK. Comments and Kudos are like a fucking drug that I need to ween myself off of, and what has replaced it had mostly been just fucking around? Just spitballing, brainstorming, and making stupid jokes and headcanons [mostly with @yourfavoritefridge who never yells at me].

7. A throwback to your second question: just write how you want to write.

Stop pretending that there is a CORRECT way to write. There isn't. Language is flexible. Grammar is made up. Punctuation is an incredible tool.

Write how YOU write.

🖤

[distortedataraxia]

Hi ^^) it's my first time doing this, so I'm kinda nervous (ahhh how should I start?). Well, I'm here because i got interested in the BSD Matchup thing, so thank you in advancement >////<)

Uh- Im pretty shy and calm in real life, but in Internet I tend to be more teaser (maybe because I can't see the other person's face) even tho I can't really handle them in rl, and because of that ppl usually misunderstood my personality, also I have social anxiety, so it's pretty hard to people ACTUALLY understand and know the real me (honesty sometimes i wish ppl could just read my mind, that would be so much easier?). Sometimes i think like i just have a mask that I can't get off to the point of me forgetting the real me.

About those personality tests: I'm INTP-A, 5w6 and my love language is affirmative words and act of service

If I bake you something/draw you, for sure i treasure or relationship.

As for my hobbies: I like to read, sell, cosplay, draw, listen to true crimes podcast, watch animes, teach, learn languages (for now I can speak 5) study and bake (most time sweets). My dream is someday have a pretty (vegan) coffee.

For now I am a volunteer physic teacher to help 9 graders to pass in exams for good highschools, but I can't wait to get a real job in some quiet place (like a library).

I am a short (150cm T^T), a bit chubby, I'm a sagittarius and I like the caos in the "not so monotonous" way (I just hate get bored), and when I'm not envolved, obviously, just watching, I hate have too many eyes on me. I also hate when people try to force a friendship with me, like, if i hug you, I'm showing that I don't mind you getting too close (even tho it can surprise me sometimes), but that change completely when "you" hug me without intimacy, i will 100% dislike your hugs from now on.

Also I really like to hear people talk about their passion and dreams, maybe I can get a bit of inspiration haha.

Sometimes when I take my medicines I may be oblivious to my own felling, so in that kind of situation i just like so see people I like happy by making them a treat or just walking through the city with no place in mind, just to focus on their happiness to make me feel warm

Whaa- sorry if it was too long, I don't know how much I should say or keep to myself to get a good analysis, usually I don't share that much oh things aaah that's embarrassing... but yeah that's it I hope you are having a wonderful day/night

Note : Hi! Firstly I'd like to apologize for the time it tooks to actually write this and secondly I'd like to assure you that you weren't embarassing ^^ Have a good day/night i hope and take care of yourself ! I haven't written any forms concerning matchups to help people requesting, so anything that you wrote is okay, it's never too long or too short and i'll try my best pairing you with a character with what i have. I hope that you like the one i paired you with and that it aha isn't too much or a mess, matchups aren't really my expertise ahah ^^'

I pair you with...

Atsushi ! ★

You, shy and calm in real life, a teaser on the internet, have came across the path of A CAT- I mean, weretiger.

He would be kind, understanding and considerate towards you and would respect your boundaries. Whenever you have troubles with anything, you know that Atsushi will always be with you and that it'll be okay, he'll support, understand and try to help you out.

That boy Atsushi needs theses affirmative words, he've been through a lot and only feel the right to live if he save people's lives and it's good sometimes to remind him that he's good enough just as he is.

if i got this wrong please run me over with a car , dig a hole and bury my brain inside of it... ACTUALLY NO PLEASE DON'T TOUCH MY BIGASS BRAIN

Atsushi would try to surprise you with some little gifts sometimes, he won't overdo it. If you're like kyoka by example, he'd buy you crepes and ice creams. If you're as mysterious as Dazai, he'll try to go with flowers probably.

Atsushi would be really happy if one day you bake or draw something for him.

Atsushi spent a lot of time reading in his orphanage's library as a form of escapism, so you can sometimes chat about books you both read without much problems.

You also love to ask about Atsushi's days as he works in the armed detective agency, and his days are never the ssame, as he like to ask about your day too.

Atsushi would absolutely support you in your dreams of having a pretty vegan coffee, and he'll do what he can to help you make your dream possible.

Atsushi gets flustered easily, and it can be pretty caotic. But cute?

When you're out on a date with Atsushi, he makes sure that you feel comfortable and to not get all eyes on both of you.

You both would be a nice pair.

[the-avengers-ate-my-tongue]

The Storm

Summary: You work with Jack Crawford and Alana is your cousin, both of you live together for a long time. She gets caught up with a flat tire far away and asks you to let Will in, for he's expecting her. A storm is coming, and she keeps taking longer and longer to show up. Will the universe conspire in your favor?

Pairing: Will Graham x reader

Warnings: swearing, insinuation of smut, fluff.

Word count: 4.328

A/n: I'm starting to consider changing this tumblr for a Hannibal one, mostly Will Graham, so some requests from other fandoms would be nice haha hope you enjoy reading this as much as I enjoyed writing ♥️

*not my gif

There wasn't a thing such as a boring day at the BAU. 

At least not when you're part of Jack Crawford's crew. There was always an interesting case to focus on, a disfigured body to study the reason of death, it was always a thrilling hunt for evidence. The best experience I've ever had so far in my career, and I could only thank my cousin Alana for putting me on the Guru's radar. I was a great crime scene investigator, albeit a little younger than people gave me credit for. I taught people not to underestimate me over the years, though. I got here by my own effort, being a tenacious, hard-working woman who wouldn't get a no for an answer. 

I got along well with my crewmates, Beverly Katz, Brian Zeller and Jimmy Price, though our relationship hardly extended for life outside work. Except for Beverly, we went out for a couple of beers sometimes, she was fun, witty and I really liked our conversations. Jack was the big boss, and that was it. I had a lot of respect for him, and I knew he didn't regret bringing me to his team, I could see it in his eyes in the first case I've got. I was very cunning when I shared my insights about the cases, sometimes I saw things no one else could, no one but…

Of course, I was far, far away from being a Will Graham. But ever since I was younger, I've had this sort of intuition that helped me to solve problems, I would solve riddles easily and when people asked me how I got to the answer, I wouldn't know the steps, I just knew deep in my bones I was right. That happened a lot when I was growing up and was even stronger now that I knew how to use it. It was some artifice of my inconscient, something I could always count on. It included everything in my life, math, logical thinking, riddles. My brain picked things I couldn't perceive clearly, bringing them to the clear waters of my conscience. 

Will Graham was a curious man. He intrigued me from the very first moment I saw him at the house of one of the last victims of The Minnesota Shrike, Garret Jacob Hobbs, now dead. He was practically hiding in a corner, his eyes closed behind the lens of his glasses, dark wavy hair, jawline for days. He seemed highly focused until Beverly started to talk to him, pulling him out of his daze. He could barely look at her, or at me, and although he looked socially awkward and troubled, he still managed to look like a daydream. I studied every inch of his face, lowering my gaze when he seemed to get uncomfortable, after smiling lightly. I was a bit shy myself. I lived with Alana and, when I got home that night, I absentmindedly asked her about that curious handsome man who seemed to be out of place, yet so connected to that scene. She started to talk about him, but stopped once she noticed my interest. Then, she told me he was a very unstable person, that she wouldn't even be alone in the room with him because of her professional curiosity. As time passed and he solved more and more cases, I could see how people looked at him like an attraction of the zoo. However, not me, and later, not Beverly. Brian didn't seem to like him very much, I could see. Envy, perhaps? Nevertheless, the more I saw Will, the more intrigued I got. He avoided eye contact like the plague, but as I was always friendly and tried my best to treat him like a normal person, not focusing only on work, dead bodies and serial killers, I saw more of those beautiful blue eyes. He knew I was Alana's cousin, and I sooner realized he had a fling for her. 

And boy, did that break my silly little heart. I wasn't surprised, though. Who could blame him? Alana was amazing. I never felt resentful for that, but as time passed, I started to detach from the idea of Will being somewhat more than a simple acquaintance. That afternoon, I was going home from work when I got a call from Alana.

"Speak fast, I'm driving." I said, keeping one hand on the wheel and the other holding my phone.

"You're going home? Great. I invited Will so we could talk about a profile I'm building, but I got caught up here. I already spoke to him, he's almost there, can you let him in? He said he'll wait, and I'll be home in about fifty minutes, no more than that, hopefully." She said in a hurry, and I felt my cheeks burn a little. Will and me? Home alone? 

"I…" I hesitated, chewing my bottom lip nervously. "You won't be long, right? Heard on the radio there’s a storm for later."

"I won't, promise. Just let him in, he's already aware I'll take a little longer to be there. See you soon. Thanks, Y/n!" She hung up, not leaving me any time to answer. I put the phone down, still chewing on my bottom lip. I could feel excitement rising on my stomach, making me feel slightly nauseated, and noticed my hands starting to sweat.

Please. That was ridiculous. What was I, a teenager? I was a grown-up, well-succeeded woman, for God's sake. I rubbed my hands on my jeans, driving a little faster than I usually did almost unconsciously. I got home after twenty minutes, parking outside the pretty house. Will was already there, leaning against his car, so lost in his thoughts he barely noticed I'd arrived. I looked at my reflection at the mirror hurriedly, fixing my hair, pinching my cheeks to look less pale, brushing my eyebrows with my fingers to make them look neat. I wasn't even wearing any lipstick today. It had been a long day at work. 

I opened the car door, exiting the vehicle, the noise from shutting the door finally bringing him out of his daze, and he finally seemed to notice me. He smiled lightly, lowering his eyes. He had his glasses on, but as soon as he saw me, he took them off, hanging them on his shirt.

"Hey, Will. I hope I haven't kept you waiting too long. There was a little bit of traffic." I justified, walking to the porch and waiting for him to follow me. 

"Y/n. Not at all, I just got here. Alana explained what happened, thanks for coming to let me in. Hope I didn't ruin any appointment you may have had." He waited until I unlocked the door, and we finally were engulfed with the warm air of the heater.

"Nope, I was coming home, no appointments lost. Please, come in. I'm not sure you've ever been here before, but make yourself home." I hung my trench coat, sighing with the pleasure of being home. I loved the atmosphere of that place. "Can I get you anything? Water, soda, beer…"

"Thank you. I'm fine. And no, I haven't been here before." I held back the temptation of saying "good", biting my bottom lip as I watched him sit on the couch. I just stood there for a while, not sure of what to do next. 

He frowned a little, probably thinking why I was acting so weird, and that made me nervous, because it was just an easy step to realize my silly crush on him. Did he know? What if Alana said something? Said something? For fuck's sake, he was Will Graham, he could probably see that written across my stupid face! Shit, he knows. I'm making a fool of myself. Why do I even…

"Is everything okay?" His voice startled me a little, pulling me out of my neurotic breakdown, and I wondered how my facial expressions looked. Was I blinking only one eye like the stereotyped madness of cartoons? I certainly didn't look normal. I cleared my throat, laughing lightly.

"Yeah. Yeah, I guess I'm not really used to having people over anymore. I've been working a lot lately. People are dying like flies." I sat on the armchair in front of him, sighing. 

"What we do can be overwhelming sometimes. What we see every day. It just… stains you." He said, with a dark look on his serious eyes. 

I nodded. I felt that way sometimes, but I was used to it. I stopped feeling that sense of inadequacy on my chest years ago. 

"I guess you just begin to cope with it, though. Our brain adapts to that harsh reality. But it's always nice to vent somehow. What do you do in your free time?" I asked, wondering if I was getting too personal. Did I sound like I was probing to ask him out?  I felt my face getting warm. Damn it.

Either he didn't realize, or he was just too chivalrous to point, but he didn't mention anything.

"I fish." He said, simply. I nodded with a light smile.

"And you play with your doggies." I pointed, smiling wider. I loved dogs. He'd mentioned them before, so I just brought the subject up, trying to shift the attention from me to them. Will smiled back, his eyes with a subtle glow. He really loved them, and that was so sweet. "Fishing sounds nice. Unfortunately, I could never. I'm too restless. I'd probably startle all the fish and wouldn't catch anything."

He laughed, and that was the first time I ever heard that sound coming out of him. I felt like I was someone deaf that was able to hear the sound of Mozart's symphonies for the first time, and I just knew. There was never detachment from the idea of Will being more than an acquaintance. It was tackled down inside my brain somewhere, for the brain tends to adapt to harsh realities, but it was still there, just waiting for some incentive. 

"It's just a matter of training, getting used to it. I could teach you someday… if you want." He blinked a few times, as if he was surprised with his own boldness, smiling lightly. "And you? What do you do to vent?" He asked, seeming genuinely interested.

"Well, I read a lot. Maybe I could read by the riverside while I watch you fish." I said, shrugging with a subtle smile.

"It's a date, then?" Will inquired, making me mortified. Caught me by total surprise, and when I was about to say something, my phone rang.

"Excuse me." I answered the phone. It was Alana. "Hey. We're already here waiting for you."

Not that I wanted her to arrive any time sooner, but she didn't have to know that.

"You won't believe me; I've got a flat tire. There's a guy helping me out, I was lucky, I'm in the middle of nowhere. But I'll get there in about fifty more minutes, more or less. Can you put Will on the phone? I'll explain everything to him."

"Do you need one of us to pick you up? I'm sure he wouldn't mind, I wouldn't…"

"No, he's almost done. Thank you. Let me talk to Will, I'll be there soon. The storm is about to catch me, I wanna hurry."

I sighed, grimacing at him. 

"She wants to talk to you." I passed him the phone, studying his expressions while he talked to her. As I looked at the window, I could see the dark clouds gathering up, making the end of the afternoon murky. The storm was about to hit hard. I could see a few thin drops of rain starting to wet the glass.

"I can stay a little longer, no problem. I'm being well attended." He traded looks with me, biting his lip slightly. "Okay. I'll see you soon, Alana."

He gave me the phone, but Alana was already gone. I put it on the coffee table, getting up.

"I think I'll pour myself some wine. Do you want some?" I asked politely. "It's one of the fanciest ones; Hannibal gave us a bottle when we dined at his house a few days ago."

"Yes. Thank you." He waited for me to come back with the beverages, and I did my best not to spill anything, sitting on the couch beside him while I gave him the glass. "So you're acquainted with Dr. Lecter?"

"Oh yeah, he's an old friend of Alana's, sometimes he invites us to dinner. He cooks the best meals I've ever had in my entire life, so I don't exactly decline the invitations. And he's one of the most brilliant people I've ever met, so it's always interesting." I took a sip of the crimson liquid, moaning low in pleasure. Good wine. I preferred a good cup of hot oolong, but it was impossible not to appreciate the quality of that drink. 

A few glasses after and a lot of talks about dogs, fishing and other hobbies, he finally felt safe to bring back the topic. The rain had started really pouring, the now thicker drops hitting the windows loudly. Alana hadn't called again. It was nighttime now, the sky seeming to be darker than usual. I was low-key worried about her, but the conversation was too great to interrupt. She was a good driver. She would be just fine. 

"I've been seeing Hannibal Lecter in his office. Not exactly his patient, though. A courtesy of Jack Crawford to keep an eye on the coping of my brain functions." He sounded a bit bitter, drinking a few sips of his wine.

I could see he didn't like therapy. Must be hard with someone with a mind like his.

"You know, sometimes, Alana psychoanalyses me. Like, she doesn't even notice. It's cute, but sometimes it creeps me out." 

"She has a professional curiosity about me, but she's too polite and considerate to let it slip out. We've never even been alone in the same room together."

I held back a bitter comment, not wanting to talk shit about my cousin, but he saw it right through me. 

"Sorry, I didn't mean to put you in a complicated position."

"I know. You're sweet." The word slipped through my tongue before I could contain it. Will blinked a few times, seeming surprised, and I felt my cheeks burn, starting to stutter. "I meant… I'm sorry, did I make you uncomfortable?"

"No, no. It's just… no one's ever called me that before." It was my time to get surprised. He didn't seem to be complimented much, and that just made me flabbergasted. I couldn't be the only one who saw how fantastic Will was.

"... Ah. Well, some people are just shy. I'm shy as hell, don't even know how I had the nerve to say that, it's probably the wine starting to kick in. Hope I really didn't make you uncomfortable, though. Don't need to be polite, it's okay to tell me."

"Actually, I'm curious to know what else you think of me. I sense it's not the only word you have to define me." He sounded bolder, and his eyes were on mine, giving me shivers down my spine. 

"Well… I think you're too exceptional to be defined with a few words. You're… Kind, brilliant… I see how seeing what you see, doing what you do, how it wrecks you sometimes, and you just keep doing it because you're saving lives. That's so selfless, Will. That's…" I was going to say more, but at that very moment, a loud thunder just made the house practically tremble, and I let out a real inelegant weep, coming closer to Will and holding his arm firmly, my fingers grabbing on the fabric of his shirt. He could've thought it was an artifice to get closer to him, but he could see how frightened I was, trembling like a cornered wild little beast. I hated thunders, fireworks, anything loud. Feeling ridiculous, I released his shirt, apologizing with embarrassment.

"It's okay. It's just noise. I'm here." He put some of my hair that had fallen to my face behind my ear with such a tenderness that I felt my stomach twitch, realizing suddenly how close we were. He was looking at me as if it was the first time he was actually seeing me. 

The phone rang again. Alana! I grabbed it from the coffee table, turning to face Will. He wasn't avoiding eye contact anymore, his pupils were dilated. My breathing was accelerated, and I knew it had little to do with the thunder.

"Lana, is everything okay?" I asked with genuine concern. "Are you close?"

"Ah, Y/n. I'm so sorry. I don't think I'll make it in time, I'm driving slow, the roads are slippery because of the storm and it's pretty foggy. I'll stop at a motel and spend the night, or at least wait for the storm to pass. I'm so furious with myself!"

"It's okay cuz, do what's safer for you. I'm sure Will will understand. I'll pass him the phone." I gave him the phone and he talked to Alana for a few minutes, but I wasn't listening. She'd ruined the moment unintentionally, and now he was probably going home. When would I have an opportunity like that again? 

"Okay. Don't worry. I'll see you tomorrow. Bye, Alana. Take care." He gave me the phone and I put it on the coffee table again. Before any of us could say anything, another thunder cracked the sky, and this time, Will held me so I wouldn't be afraid. The lights went out, and he held me against his chest protectively, making me smell his aftershave and some perfume. He smelled so good. For a moment, I just stood there in his arms, feeling his warmth, his breath, the steady beats of his heart. 

I moved away just a little to see his face, very close to mine, but it was so dark I could only see shadows. A lightning lit up the room and, just for a little moment, I could see his gorgeous eyes staring at me. After a soft touch of his thumb on my lips, he finally kissed me, so gentle, like I could break as fine china with any rougher move. I touched his neck with both my hands, playing with his hair, feeling how soft they were. He pulled me closer, his hands on my waist, and the kiss started to get deeper, voracious, as if we were hungry for each other. Maybe the wine was helping to raise the lust; all I know is that I've wanted that to happen for a long time. Will's kiss was everything I imagined it would be, but entirely different at the same time. All I could say was that he was great at it. His hands traveled through my body, and I grabbed his hair, pulling it slightly. That made a low growl echo through his chest, and I started to feel my body fervent as a bonfire.

I couldn't say much because I was breathless and I didn't want to stop what we were doing, so a single word left my lips as I kept my forehead on his.

"Stay."

Will bit his lip, kissing me again, and that was all the answer I needed.

xx 

Morning. Thin sunrays illuminated my bedroom floor through the curtains, waking me up. The storm was gone. I haven't had a nice night of sleep like that in ages. I looked at the other side of my bed and there was Will, sleeping heavily. It wasn't a dream, after all. Last night really happened. I smiled, staring at the roof with disbelief in my eyes.

I stared at him for a few seconds, unsure of what to do. Should I just let him sleep? He looked so heavenly, his hair was messy, his breathing steady, he seemed so less troubled than he usually was. I touched his hair lightly, caressing it with tenderness, and he started to move. I could see his neck, and a few hickies we marked on his albescent skin. That made me blush a little bit, and I laughed silently. 

He opened his eyes while I still touched his hair, but I didn't stop, and he didn't seem to want me to. We stared at each other in silence for a few moments, and he smiled, a different smile than the usual ones he gave me.

"Hi." He said, pulling me closer by my waist, stroking the skin under the sheets. I pecked him on the lips, then kissing his forehead, his cheek, his jawline. 

"Hey there. Good morning. I'm starving, are you having breakfast with me?"

"Actually, I gotta go home. Feed the dogs." He said, stroking my nude shoulder with his finger.

"Of course. Your dogs. I won't keep you then, poor babies must be so hungry." I kissed his cheek and was about to get up when he pulled me again, gently kissing my lips. I smiled, probably looking like an idiot. A joyful idiot. "I'll let you get dressed. I'll be in the kitchen."

I dressed up in my long and black robe, smiling at him before I left the room, going to the kitchen, where I started to make some french toasts. After a few minutes, I heard the front door open, and an exhausted Alana came in, her hair frizzy and her coat looking still a bit wet.

"Oh, Lana! Go change, you'll get a cold!" I stopped what I was doing, going to her and helping to take off her coat.

"That storm was a nightmare. I swear I won't ignore the warnings ever again. I'm so sorry, I had no idea it would get this bad, yesterday was one of those days where everything just goes wrong. Hope Will arrived well at home, did he seem disappointed or annoyed before he left? I was so inconvenient…"

I didn't even have time to answer, because Will opened my bedroom door, coming out while buttoning his shirt, suddenly realizing Alana was there.

"Oh." Alana said, looking so flabbergasted I almost laughed at her. Will rose his eyebrows at the sight of her, seeming a bit unsure of what to do or say. I wasn't planning for her to find out like this, it was a bit early, I wasn't expecting her to arrive so soon. "Hi, Will."

"Alana. Hi." He avoided looking at her, staring at me, and his eyes immediately softened. I smiled, he smiled back, and that was it, Alana was forgotten.

"Off you go to feed your children." I joked, biting my bottom lip. "I guess I'll see you later, then."

"Definitely." He simply said, kissing my forehead while caressing my hair, certainly a little embarrassed to kiss me in front of Alana. "See you later, Y/n. Bye, Alana."

"Bye, Will." I waved with a soft smile, and he grabbed his jacket, leaving the house.

My smile grew larger and I left my head fall back, squeaking low in commemoration. What a night! What a morning! I never thought I would thank a storm so much, let alone a bloody thunder.

Before Alana could say anything, I realized Will had left his glasses at the coffee table, and I picked it up in a hurry, bursting through the front door and calling him before he left, waving in front of the car.

"You forgot your glasses!" I said, and he opened the car windows, raising his hand to pick them.

I leaned against the car window, putting the glasses on him, and kissing his lips fiercely. He moaned in surprise, holding my face to deepen the kiss. After a moment, I pulled away, appreciating the view of his lips so reddish. 

"Go back inside, it's cold." He said with a cheeky smile, and before I could say he actually made me hotter, he took off with the car.

I went back inside, where Alana was waiting for me with her arms crossed. 

"What the hell did you do to Will Graham?" She asked, sounding severe, but a smile was trying to escape her lips "I mean, besides trying to suck his soul with your mouth a few moments ago."

"Oh, shut up!" I laughed, blushing violently. "You made that happen, you know? Thank you. Was that a set up or did the universe actually conspire in my favor?"

"I wish I'd planned this. That would mean I would've had a plan b and I wouldn't have stayed at that disgusting mote… Y/n, you're full of hickies, I can't believe you!"

"You're starting to sound like my mom, Lana. I'm gonna wear a turtleneck, don't worry, I don't want Beverly all over me like a bloodhound and Brian and Jimmy's witty comments today. In fact, keep it to yourself, okay? Will's discreet. I won't even tell Beverly, if she finds out, the whole bureau will know, hell, maybe even Freddie Lounds."

"I told you to let it go, Y/n. Will's very unstable right now. I… I only want what's best for you." She said with concern in her bright blue eyes. I sighed, walking to her and kissing her cheek with affection.

"You're a good cousin. But I'm a big girl. I can take care of myself, okay? Unless this isn't only about me, unless it concerns something else." I raised an eyebrow while staring at her, more confident that I've ever been. "Is there something you wanna tell me?"

She hesitated, clenching her jaw, but never spoke. 

I smiled, tapping her cheek very lightly in approval.

"I gotta get ready to work. Wanna grab lunch with me later?" I asked in a casual tone, a cynical smile on my face. She shrugged. "See you later then, cuz."

[thisismrswilson]

Part 2!

Part 1 is right here.

A/n: Just wanna get the story out of my system. Feel free to read though! Grade D English right here :')

No way. That long-haired baby he used to hang out with is standing right in front of him. He's never met him for a long time since. How should Sam even react?

'I really miss you!' or 'you clean up nice.' What kind of conversation should he start with? 'I see that your hair aged backwards.'

Sam shook off his thoughts and just held out his hand for a handshake. "It's been a long time." Formal, and decent.

Bucky was no different. He did not want to mess up his first impression on Sam. But wait, they've seen each other in diapers, what's the worst that could happen? Bucky had his mouth agape but no words came out. He sighed a breath of relief when Sam took charge. Bucky returned the handshake. "Yeah, you too." He wanted to say more but let's save him the humiliation. And goodness, he's never felt a hand as gentle as Sam's. Calloused, yes. But oh so gentle. Pretty orbs in his eyes, adorable cheekbones and gentle hands? Too good to be true.

When they let go of each other's hands, Steve smiled. "What have both of you been up to?"

Bucky and Sam shared their life journey until the present day. Steve was really proud to see them grow up to be good men. In return, Steve shared a few of his experiences after babysitting both of them. Let's not forget Alpine and Figaro, they have passed on.

"So, dating anyone? Married?" Steve asked, merely curious. Bucky snickered, "Look at me, who'd want to date me? Single as a pringle." Steve hit him gently on the arm. "Don't say that. You'll never know. Someone will love you for who you are."

Steve turned to Sam. "How bout you?"

Sam looked between both of them and a small smile creeps onto his face. There's the gorgeous smile, and the breathtaking tooth gap.

Bucky did lost his breath for a second. He's so glad he's in the hospital in case he desperately needs oxygen.

"I, uh, I'm dating someone. We're planning to meet. Maybe someday this week." Sam got really happy thinking about Patrick. Not today but someday, hopefully Patrick respond with a day in mind.

"I hope the best for the both of you." Steve gently pats his arm. Sam receives a ping on his phone and took it out. His face contorts, his eyebrows pinch together and oh boy, he looks upset.

"What is it?" Steve breaks the silence. Sam put his phone away a little bit aggressively and looked away. "Uh, forget what I said. I'm single."

"I'm really sorry." Steve apologized. Sam couldn't breathe in the room, filled with pity for him. He needed to escape. "It's alright, I- ah, I got errands to run. See you."

He rushed out of the room, and almost came close to a body with blood bag attached to their veins on a bed, passing through the hallway. He gasped at the sight and had to go to the nearest restroom.

Bucky left Steve's ward in time to see Sam disappear into the Gents. Bucky went after him.

He swings the door open to find Sam hunched over the sink, glaring at it.

"What did that sink ever do to you?" Bucky chuckled a little. Sam looked at Bucky through the mirror, still glaring. Good going Bucky, you're not making this any better.

"I- I'm sorry. What I meant to say was are you alright?" Bucky asked.

"I just got dumped and saw a blood bag on a wounded patient, I am peachy." His voice croaked.

Bucky winced. "I'd... Help if I knew how to.." he rocked on his feet, nervous on how to approach the whole situation.

"I'll be fine. Thank you."

One long pause. Sam raised his head, looking away from the sink and Bucky is still there. "Yes?"

Bucky stuttered, "Uh, no, yeah I'll be on my way out-" he planned to leave but his feet went back in.

Sam just raised an eyebrow at Bucky's reaction. Bucky's brain short-circuit having Sam's full attention and knowing that he's judging everything Bucky is doing right now. "Uhh- I um- So uh, you still got errands to run?"

"Yeah."

"Oh alright then-" Bucky turned on his heels.

"To get out of the hospital."

Bucky stopped and turn back. "So, you're free?"

"Yeah. What are you getting at?"

"I was thinking we could catch up over coffee? After, of course, we leave this place."

Sam considered his invitation. What was he going to do later anyways? Mope around because he got dumped? Darling, this is Sam Wilson. He's not letting any man get in the way of living his best life.

"Yeah, let's catch up over that coffee."