#maybe put it past the sketch phase

[kozachenko]

Don't really have much to post again aside from some more sketching that I've done recently, this time of Reimu and Marisa, mainly because I just need a starting point as to how I would go about drawing them in my style (which is why the poses are so boring lol).

Artist's Notes;

So I mentioned in the last post how I've been wanting to experiment with how I wanted to draw Reimu, and I then got an idea for Marisa. So I wanted to try and contrast the two of them with each other via their shape language and body types. For scale I also put some numbers on the side just as a visualizing aid so I can imagine them easier. I wanted to make Reimu very tall and lanky and Marisa to be short and rounder. Also, this provides some interesting contrast in their shape language, and Marisa ends up being more round and Reimu ends up feeling more sharp.

I think what I'm most worried about is mainly that I don't 100% know if these two drawings still...feel like Reimu and Marisa. MMaybe because I made so many changes to both of them, but I feel like it's mostly in their faces. I kept the little personal touches that would add when I would draw them in the past (i.e. Reimu's tiny eyebrows and Marisa's freckles) but I dunno, maybe it's in the eyes? Like, Marisa's bigger eyes and eyebrows are definitley ideas that I want to play with in the future, but Reimu.... I dunno, I like the idea of her face shape in this drawing specifically, and I defnitely feel like I got closer to the monilid eye look I was trying to achieve in my previous attempt at drawing her eyes, but something still feels off with her.

When I drew Marisa, I really wanted to explore some other ideas for her body type, mainly in contrast to Reimu, so I wanted to give her a fuller figure and make her shorter than Reimu. I do feel like her eyes could be a bit sharper as eyes look maybe a little too innocent for Marisa, but I do still want to use these eyes I drew for her as a springboard for later attempts. I made some adjustments to her dress so that they would look good on the body type I gave her. I also need to draw shoes more because those boots....I just, I don't even know, I probably just need to draw that specific body type more wearing those types of boots or find references because I am not happy with how they turned out. Out of the two of them, Marisa was definitely my favourite to draw. I really enjoying drawing different body types when I get the chance to, and I feel like it's important to try your best to expand your variety when it comes to drawing the human body, I'm glad that I'm comfortable with drawing different body types. I do still have a long ways to go with this as I just need to do it more often and still need to do this but with different body shapes and weights and how to combine those two aspects to create unique body types and silhouettes. Also, please feel free to give me any critiques to how these two designs turned out, I remember that I drew Reimu when it was late at night and spent the entire day on Marisa so I defnitely feel like there's some things to critque here.

I'll be honest... I don't really like how Reimu turned out too much. Not to say it's a bad drawing, but I dunno. I think I just need to draw Reimu more, but she's honestly the hardest character to translate into my style. The thing is, I have an idea for her in my head but I just have a hard time putting it to paper. It's not like I've never drawn her before, in fact, aside from the height I really like how she looked in this piece of fanart (why tf did I make her so short in that piece) I did a while back despite the fact that I've imrpoved on my faces a lot since then (again, I do want to try my lineless style again, I just need to find the chance to do so), maybe because that was the drawing that provided me with some of my ideas on how to draw Reimu in my style? I do think I'm definitely in the rut of the "not knowing how to draw a character's face in your style" phase that I'm sure many fan-artists go through, so with enough drawings I'll get through it eventually, just gotta suffer through several more hours of trial and error though so yipeeeeeeee... As for things I do like, Reimu's hair turned out nicely. I did my usual technique for drawing Reimu's hair and then pasted the lineart layer underneath the main lineart layer and changed the colour to give it some extra pizzaz, and I do like how Reimu and Marisa contrast each other a lot. I just need to find a way to make them feel more like themselves while still taking liberties with their designs in my style.

Even if these are just sketches and me laying the groundwork for how I want to draw these two in the future, I still want to improve how I draw them a lot (also I don't like how much these two look like teenagers, I see both of them as being in their late 20s-early 30s and it just doesn't read like that and I definitely need to do more studies in the future to get them right in my style).

[queenie-avenue]

Hii! 🌟

So..i want ask for request about CEO ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ

What if one day reader is caught sketching the CEO in some fancy clothes? Would he like to wear this for reader?

(Thank you in advance! Hope u have really good day 👁️〰️👁️)

/// sorry for my English kinda bad at grammar (ง’̀-‘́)ง

He'll wear anything you make.

💌 ⤻ THE CEO, Adrian Houde

—> he's your muse, you're his obsession.

⤻ reader is gender neutral, reader has a crush on Adrian, obsessive behaviour, posessive thoughts, snooping, fluff, red flags but they aren't so apparent.

notes: i altered the prompt a bit, i hope you don't mind but thank you for the ask! i'm glad you like adrian as much as i do. feel free to send in more asks! love the cute emoticons btw <3 did not proofread, we die like men.

Adrian strolled about the fashion department, his hands raking across the abandoned tables now that everyone had headed home. He rolled up his sleeves to check the time as he walked past the messy and cluttered desks, the heels of his shoes clacking against the floor.

One might ask, what was the CEO of the company doing so late at the fashion department? Everyone had gone home, clocking off early for the holidays — even the ever-busy fashion team — except him. His blue eyes raked across the table as he searched for your table, and finally, he came across it and smiled.

You didn't have a table before, you cramped alongside the lower level employees but well, Adrian pulled some strings here and there for you to get your own table.

It also made it easier for him to look through your belongings.

"Hm?" He hummed when he saw an unfamiliar book on the table. He had memorised every detail of your table, to the point where he knew where you put your emergency snacks — sometimes even refilling them for you anonymously — but this sketchbook was new.

He knew it was wrong to sneak into someone's belongings, and his grandmother would no doubt absolutely pulverise him for such ungentlemanly actions but you already belonged to him. You didn't, but you would soon.

He was slowly cracking you down, he knew. Adrian could still see the blush on your face when you were caught staring at him for too long.

His nimble hands reached for the book and flipped through them. The pages crinkling in his hands as he gazed at all of the different designs. His eyes slowly widened as he recognised the dimples on the model's face, the tousled blonde hair, the dashing pale blue eyes, and the silhouettes you had crafted just for him. The suits, some dresses, some eccentric, some more subdued, and multiple designs made with styles he had a penchant for.

He smiled, knowing that you had to have been observing him rather closely to be able to craft such flattering outfits for him.

"Hah," he breathed out, feeling his cheeks heat up. "You're driving me crazy." He whispered to himself as he felt his entire body grow hot.

He continued to flip through the pages, taking in the sight of him as your muse. He almost wanted to hop in his car and drive off to your house now just to kiss you but he had to restrain himself.

He was a gentleman; even if he snuck into your belongings. He would wait for a while more. His grandmother had always said that a prolonged courting period was needed, filled with flowers, chocolates, gifts, and, of course, polite flirting.

He placed the book on the floor and snapped a few pictures, making sure to make it look accidental, like he had just stumbled across it and sent it to you.

Adrian. H: Stumbled across a cute little thing on the way to a late-night meeting. Mind if I get it privately made? I'd love to wear something you made.

He smirked, knowing that you would fluster. He just wished you were here just so he could see colour fill your face. He made a note to visit the fashion department during lunchtime just to tease you further. Maybe he'd even wear something akin to your designs tomorrow.

He just wanted to get this courting phase over so he could wrap you in his arms like a snake and never let go.

Your sketchbook was practically an invitation for him to do so.

[daisychainsandbowties]

ava only fully understanding now what mary had lost in shannon, having picked up more of the story than mary had been willing to share in those scant few weeks before her disappearance. having had time to sit with herself and be able to look back and see the way mary had been so thoroughly wrapped around an absence, a corpse, and now in the aftermath clinging so tightly to her, to this idea of what she could have done to bea had she not survived

picking the story out of bea like unwrapping a wound. nights in switzerland with the windows open and the lights off and the whole world reduced to beatrice’s voice.

talking about mary so precisely, never slipping on the grammar. always mary is, like words alone could bring her home. but then the shift, inevitable, as beatrice draws the past out of her pocket like an old receipt and smooths it onto the table so that ava can look, breathing in a half-forgotten scent.

cedarwood and oil paint drying (‘it takes a very long time’). turpentine and a mug full of paint water and shannon’s mouth against it. charcoal dust and pencils scattered over her desk. boots propped by the door.

how mary would look at her. the glancing touches, the way they’d hold each other after missions and it made beatrice think of atoms colliding at great speed. turning into light, turning everything to dust.

beatrice looking down at her hands as the grammar shifts to shannon was.

when ava phases, her body turns to diffuse light, threads of scattered gold. she wants to ask beatrice if there’s ever a trace, a sketch, a silhouette of someone else inside that light.

she doesn’t ask, but when mary comes back she tells ava that she sees shannon everywhere. in the light falling down behind the hills. in roof tiles and old hoodies and too many pairs of boots.

‘do you see her in me?’

‘i see her in beatrice. with you it’s… more of a feeling.’

‘like a vibe?’

a slow, fond smile. ‘sure. it’s like a vibe.’

both of them roasting marshmallows on a campfire and beatrice just visible between the trees, stooping to collect more wood. when mary speaks again her voice has an ache inside it.

‘sometimes when i’m standing next to you i forget where i am, and it’s like i’m catching her light, casting her shadow.’

ava taking her hand, putting her head on mary’s shoulder and feeling a sudden surge of warmth in the halo. like a hand reaching out to grasp them both.

but all she says is, ‘you fucked up your marshmallow.’

they swap sticks so that when bea comes back she kneels next to ava, puts her hand over ava’s hand to teach her how to do it right. mary shaking with silent laughter as ava pretends to be clueless for the sake of bea saying, ‘here, like this. close but not too close to the flames.’

ava thinking too late, i’m already in the fire. i’m already alight.

kissing bea when she’s finished her demonstration and making her taste-test the perfectly cooked marshmallow. mary groaning and ava laughing into bea’s mouth, tasting sugar, carbon, fire.

watching mary sit next to the dying light as bea sets up their sleeping bags. ava privately of the opinion that they definitely don’t need two of them. then turning, seeing mary upset the ashes, look into the sky, lips moving.

maybe it’s prayer. ava knows she prayed to beatrice on the other side.

going into the tent and kissing bea slow, tender, hiding an apology in her mouth, on the inside of her arm, between her breasts. knowing she was almost an absence, like shannon. a loss, a thing of light and dust. knowing mary will never unravel it from her bones. but knowing, as she did when she kissed bea the first time, that love is worth holding, worth having. even for an instant, for the length of a kiss and a goodbye.

that a house is only ever haunted because someone lived in it, slept in it, painted its walls and ate meals in the kitchen. she wakes up in the morning and mary’s there, making coffee, telling ava that shannon always put a spoonful of sugar in hers, but no milk.

‘bittersweet?’

‘yeah.’

and ava knows from bea that mary drinks her coffee unsweetened, but sometimes with a little milk. and yet watching as mary pours out the coffee and empties a sugar packet into hers. sipping it and looking out at the trees, at the forest, at all these places shannon has never touched.

[lilac-hecox]

I wonder if part of the reason there aren’t gonna be more ianthony sketches (which is such a disappointment 😩) is because Anthony doesn’t like to be on camera? I know he’s said in the past that he didn’t really think he was funny and stuff like that, so maybe that’s why he’s been phased out of videos? Maybe that’s just me being parasocial and thinking too much about things lol.

But regardless of the reason, it sucks that the sketches are gone and they couldn’t have communicated with their audience in a better way

What I have been thinking about is wondering if Anthony is nervous about being in a lot of Bit City because he has said that he felt 'rusty' at improv and comedy compared to Ian and the others. I don't want him to feel like he isn't as strong therefore shouldn't be featured as much.

Also, the fact that he hasn't attended the improv group things Amanda puts together which I assume now came about because of Bit City. I feel like if he wanted to get stronger he would attend them? But at the same time maybe he doesn't want to put himself in that situation?

*I do note this is me interpreting how he could be feeling and not that he is absolutely feeling that way. It's just a thought in my head as of late.

[sunnydaleherald]

The Sunnydale Herald Newsletter, Saturday, August 17

GILES: Let's not jump to any conclusions. BUFFY: I didn't jump. I took a tiny step, and there conclusions were.

~~BtVS 2x15 “Phases”~~

[Drabbles & Short Fiction]

Buffy/Faith + cold, scar, kiss (not rated) by explosionshark

Fuffy (Faith/Buffy) + scrape, rain, dame (maybe a noir vibe?) (not rated) by explosionshark

When It Rains It Pours (Buffy/Spike, T) by loverswalk89

[Chaptered Fiction]

[Russian language] Свидание, Chapters 1-3/3 (Buffy/Angel, E) COMPLETE! translation by B_E_S

[Ukrainian language] Forward to Time Past//Вперед у час минулий, Chapter 56/67 (Buffy/Spike, E) translation by Uraniya

Further From Home, Chapter 3/8 (Buffy/Giles, E) by zombiesam

In the Company of Witches and Slayers:, Chapter 134/200 (Willow/Tara, E) by VladimirHarkonnen (TheLightdancer)

Greener Pastures, Chapter 6/? (Buffy, SG xover, G) by Mirrored_Illusions

It's a Wonderful-ish Life, Chapter 5 (Buffy/Giles, E) by The_Night_Cat

[French language] Bloody Love, Chapter 5/? (Spike/Drusilla, M) by Petite_Laitue

Pick Me Up, Chapter 23/30 (Buffy/Spike, T) by Dusty87

Love will Light the Day, Chapter 11 (Buffy/Angel, M) by Buffys.playground

Stupid Thing, Chapter 1 (Buffy/Spike, R) by Misti

East of Nevada, Chapter 16 (Buffy/Spike, R) by Blissymbolics

Little Light, Chapter 2 (Buffy/Spike, NC-17) by Melme1325

Against All Odds, Chapter 10 (Buffy/Spike, NC-17) by CheekyKitten

Mirror, Mirror, Chapter 18 (Buffy/Spike, NC-17) by scratchmeout

Mirror, Mirror, Chapter 18 (Buffy/Spike, NC-17) by scratchmeout

Risque Roommates, Chapter 10 (Buffy/Faith/Spike, Adults Only) by shithappens

[Images, Audio & Video]

Artwork: I don’t need to breathe (Buffy/Spike, worksafe) by isevery0nehereverystoned

Artwork: [Buffy & Spike kiss] (Buffy/Spike, worksafe) by isevery0nehereverystoned

Collage: Collage #50 (Spike, worksafe) by thedecadentraven

Gifset: Every Tara look: S4E13 The I in Team (worksafe) by lovebvffys

Icons: Buffy the Vampire Slayer, S01E04 — Teacher’s Pet. (Buffy, Willow, worksafe) by nostalgc

Icons: Buffy the Vampire Slayer, S01E04 — Teacher’s Pet. (Buffy, worksafe) by nostalgc

Artwork: [Sketches of Buffy and Spike] (worksafe) by artofnicolle

Gifset: Buffy Meme: [¾ Villains] Drusilla (worksafe) by lovebvffys

Artwork: Tabula Rasa my beloved (Buffy/Spike, worksafe) by isevery0nehereverystoned

[Reviews & Recaps]

So I finally finished the Buffy the Vampire Slayer [...] The finale was impressive and I like one special thing about it by redhatmeg

Angel 1x1 & 1x2 REACTION | L.A has a Guardian & One Chest Burster of a Villain! by The Horror Bandwagon

Witch by Slayin It with Juliet Landau

Finished Watching Angel Season 5 For The First Time by Any-Instruction6273

PODCAST: Cause It's Wrong (S4E16) by It Stakes Two

[Recs & In Search Of]

ISO: [input on S3 'epic' recap video] requested by bigbadllama

ISO: Can’t find a scene that I remember as a kid [Spike standing up from wheelchair] requested by yeahthatsaname

[Fandom Discussions]

Buffy would put on turtleneck sweater because she’s cold and Spike would be like -Are we in a fight? by aphony-cree

I think that Buffy’s mistake was that she demanded to go back to vineyard almost right away by redhatmeg

I’m starting to think the scooby gang is more so bonded by trauma than actual friendship by there-are-many-ways-to-smile

spike vampire of all time. he goes out at night to kill vampires because he’s bored by airheadsbites

do you ever randomly think of a potential AU concept and can’t decide whether it’s good or stupid? by ohrevienssoleil

Did Angel leave for Buffy or himself? continued by multiple posters

Was Darla Jealous of Drusilla? by Priceless, multiple posters

The comment about a little sister coming in Buffy and Faith's shared dream by LightBlueSky55

Which Buffyverse death hurt you the most (or pissed you off the most) by nota-banana

Are they just real quick with autopsies and investigations? (Spoilers for Angel) by Ok-Koala-5240

Do we ever learn how and why Buffy was chosen as a slayer? by spectacleskeptic

Best Singer in the Buffyverse by Competitive_Bank8725

Just watched the first episode of S7 by rebelee_69

[Would’ve liked more of a backstory for Tara] by mistajc

Did anyone else expect Buffy’s father to show up in a season/episode? by -The-Observer-

[Articles, Interviews, and Other News]

CONVENTION: ICYMI James Marsters, Charisma Carpenter & Juliet Landau's ForTheLoveOfFantasy schedule by James Marsters News

PUBLICATION: James Marsters Shares How Filming the ‘Buffy the Vampire Slayer’ Musical Episode Mirrored the Show’s Theme | GalaxyCon by Tell-Tale TV

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Join the editor team :)

[kenyizsuartblog]

Skarner's full regalia (+chibi)

Despite being the very first Yun Tal and father of the Ground Axioms, ironically Skarner could never don the magical garments all other Yun Tal could - the brackern's mind seemed incompatible with the Vidalion and the artifact could not weave anything out of his magic.

So the people took it upon themselves to weave a headdress worthy of their eternal protector, featuring colors that mimicked the Yun Tal garments as close as possible, and lines of precious gold that resembled the Axiom patterns of Ixtali magic.

Creating this giant gift and then putting it on the equally massive head of the brackern was no easy task... but the Yun Tal aren't called elemental masters for nothing. Their protector's gratitude was well worth it.

----

LoL Train ain't stopping yet, boys!!

Although I will absolutely throw every ounce of my energy into finally finishing the Diablo fancomic in time, and will probably only upload small sketches on the side until it is done, Skarner and Runeterra in general continues to dominate my interest without fail. I have a lot of ideas for this amazing bastard, and I hope I can put as many as I can into drawn (and maybe written?) form.

We might just have another Solar Demigod Doc Ock situation on our hands here, cupcakes.

I must confess I'm so damn sad that I can't share my obsession and headcanon ideas with others about this scorpion. Man, I see so much potential in his story, his past, his justifiable fears and paranoia, and how he could become a more positive character... and immediately he gets labelled "evil boomer" by almost everyone else and that's the end of the discussion. :( I can understand OG Skarner mains, they have the right to mourn the loss of their purple crystal scorpion. But even those who had no emotional connection to his original design just brush him off.

I feel like people don't really put effort into putting themselves into characters' shoes anymore. I sure damn hope I am wrong about that, tho, because if I am not.... oh man, that is some sad state of the world.

I know right now Riot is going through yet another "lore allergy" phase in their existence, but come on guys. Can we give Skarner a chance?

No?

"Evil boomer" it is?

... Yeah, f that, not in this house! The Primordial Sovereign may rise yet!

2024.05.25.

[ozwuv]

I would like to draw more but I find myself overthinking it and then losing motivation. So, I was wondering if you ever had a similar issue and if so what do you do to stay motivated and not overthink?

Really good question actually!

What nipped the overthinking for me was just completely dropping the planning stage of drawing. I don't put much thought into composition, colors, etc. I don't have any solid ideas of how I want things to look before I begin. Obligatory disclaimer that this is from my perspective as a hobbyist and therefore not practical for an aspiring professional, & this is gonna sound like BS but hear me out lol

Most of the time the only things I have in mind are 1. What character(s) I want to draw and 2. A vague idea of the atmosphere I want the finished product to convey. And "finished" can mean a lot of things -- a messy sketch can be finished, a fully rendered piece I spent an entire day could be finished. A common pitfall people fall into is having an impractically rigid idea of what a "finished" drawing is and subsequently what they want their art to look like, all the bells and whistles etc, when realistically your art is never going to look exactly how it did in your head. But is that really such a bad thing?

I guess the overarching concept is to just fall in love with the process and enjoy the journey rather than the destination. This obviously sounds easier than it is in reality, but imo people focus way too hard on what they're producing rather than how and why they're producing it. Other people loving what you draw and praising it is wonderful, but if you don't enjoy the process, what was the point? Drawing (and I would venture to say most other forms of art in general) becomes a chore with that mindset applied.

A lack of planning may very well mean you wind up drawing a lot of stuff that doesn't seem interesting, maybe haphazard, difficult to parse, etc, but this is all your perception. It's cliché, but there is always going to someone out there that adores something you think looks like a dumpster fire, and that applies to the things you draw too. Over time, just doing whatever you want and enjoying the process has this trickle effect that will improve your output. In the same vein, constantly overthinking will also inevitably trickles into your output. You can often tell when someone enjoyed the process of something they drew vs when it was just a slog for them to get through (at least relative to their other works).

I would venture to say that you could spend your entire life studying and could be the most technically knowledgeable person about illustration ever in the world, but if you don't genuinely love the process, your work will never be as good as it could be if you did.

If you finish something and think it looks like shit that's always a bummer, but if you had fun with it, I think that was time worth spending. I've said this before, but most of the time I only truly dislike something I've drawn when I spent any part of the process frustrated with how it was going. It's counterintuitive, but I really think that placing so much emphasis in how you want the finished product to look is what ultimately is going to make it look like shit to you.

All that being said, once you do get past that initial overthinking phase, you can start to get more specific with planning and whatnot. The key is to just stop holding onto the idea of what you want and allowing things to develop as you go. Your art will naturally improve this way since you're actually enjoying it. To me, that's what people mean when they say they can tell something was made with love.

Side note: Let go of the need to be consistent/have a developed style. Just let yourself be inconsistent. You don't need strict consistency unless you're like an animator who needs to keep characters on-model or something. Experimenting is not only way more fun, but leads to improvement and discovering new things to implement into your process/style at large.

Tl;dr just get a lil silly w it :3c

[hellothere-generalangsty]

It's way past my bedtime ans my cat is sleeping-purring next to me but I thought I'd post the process of the @ailani-reillata Ailaniversary art I made today just to talk a bit more about it

Disclaimer: doing traditional art is cool until you need to scan it or post a picture of it 😂 also kinda long post below so ofc no obligation at all to read it!

Phase one: Sketching the Idea

My inspiration for the posture was a Yara Flor comic strip I found on Pinterest. Yara looks over her shoulder and her hair falls on the side of her face, and I loved the way it framed her face and thought it would look great with Ailani's hair.

I drew a little doodle on the page to help me visualize how the hair would be divided, and focused on 3 main parts (the lines, the bubbles, the empty space) which would - supposedly- help me during the lineart stage. Below are images of the final sketch.

I was hesitant on adding details to her arms, such as the folds of a dress, but I was so anxious about ruining the drawing I abandonzd that idea. I was considering adding her tattoos and was still not decided at this stage of the drawing.

Phase 2: Line-ing the Art

Is that even a real word? Idk, I'm too tired to English properly so we will say it is. Following the sketching phase was naturalle the lineart phase, which is one of my favorite stage when drawing. I bought new inking pens too so I was able to test them out, and it went quite well!

As you can see, the ribbons, outline of the skin and facial features have been done with my new pens, and i was quite happy with the result! It gives a more natural look to the whole drawing in my opinion.

At this stage I decided not to add her arm tattoos and consider this version of Ailani as the one you would find in the early chapters of Begged and Borrowed Time, so before she would get her tattoos.

Phase 2.5: Line-ing the Hair

This stage has it's own part because it was really fun to do! The inspiration for the way I draw hair comes from @/ssavaart (aka Scott Christian Sava on Youtube). I've been following him for a while now and I'm trying to push my art beyond my comfort zone and try new stuff thanks to him, and having fun with drawing hair is one of these things!

Look how beautiful these curls are. I'm not trying to toot my own horn or anything, but I'm really proud of the drawing at this stage 😂 it's the perfect moment where the inking went well and I have not yet ridked myself with the watercolours - so I always take a long sight (and tons of pictures) to celebrate reaching this stage without incidents.

Phase 3: Watercolours

Here comes the difficult part. It always makes me nervous because I always fear ruining my drawing and all the efforts I put into it by doing the watercolours. But I love the medium too much and if I want to get better I need to practice. So, testing the waters, I finally dive head first into this crucial stage.

The watercolouring goes well, I'm overall satisfied enough to take some pictures and even try to scan it, with the hope that the scanned rendering will be better than the usual "photographing and editing" I do with my phone.

Spoiler alert: the scan was NOT better than the pictures, and no amount of editing could change that. (Or maybe I am just very bad at editing.) So, back to my "photographing and editing" habits, I somehow managed to get a good enough result:

I still feel unsatisfied as I find these digital versions do not properly render the visuals I have on paper, IRL. With the digital versionsw the hair is either so dark we don't see the details, or too bright, the colours are too warm and light... And while Ailani looks light-skinned, the paper version has these visible brown tones that I struggled to find on the digital version, even when editing the pictures. The closest I got is the tone you see on the first picture, but the image is not lighted enough so the overall quality of the picture is a bit lessened by that.

Still, I won't complain too much, because overall it was a very fun drawing to do, I enjoyed every stage of it and I would love to do another piece like this! But for now I will go to sleep because it is Way Past My Bedtime 😂

If you've made it this far, thank you for your attention, feel free to let me know which stage is your favorite and what you liked most (or disliked most) about this drawing!

I for one really had fun doing Ailani's lips, as well as filling her hair, and colouring her eyes! 😊

[aajjks]

so who’s ready for tpol!yn’s yandere phase? 😈

TPOL!JK

so this is how jungkook was feeling like? now you completely understand…

the anxiety, the insecurity, the jealousy, you understand it all. when jungkook tells you that he’ll be late coming home from work because of a meeting with tina, the happiness in your voice is placed with a more curious-monotone like voice.

you don’t have to ask him why because you KNOW why but if he was going to work with her anyways then why would he ask for your opinion about it? either way, you aren’t comfortable with this meeting and now your mind won’t rest until he’s back home.

your thoughts are interrupted by your sweet three year old asking you to help him with his homework that requires him to trace his letters in both hangul and in english.

“jaemin, i thought i told you to let mommy be. she’s about to leave, bun”

“but i want mommy to help me”

“it’s okay ms. ji-ae. i can help him while you tend to the twins” you say with a smile and ji-ae just shakes her head. you’re always tending to the kids even though you’re supposed to be getting dressed for your outing with alina and jorja.

you remind her so much of herself when she was raising jungkook and jung-hyun on her own. jaekuk was always working day and night (cheating too) so it was her that did all the cleaning and raising two bickering boys that bonded like they were twins. she remembers the time jung-hyun and jungkook were fighting over the computer and let’s just say, that’s how jungkook got that scar on his cheek.

she can’t wait for you to experience and grow with your kids and so far, you’re doing such a great job managing a three year old and two two month olds with all three children constantly needing your attention including your needy husband.

once you’re finished helping jaemin, you freshen yourself up and put on a cute comfy outfit to wear while you’re out with jorja and alina.

“i made sure to pump enough milk for the twins but i should be back before you run out” you say but ji-ae doesn’t let you finish because she’s pushing out of the home. “go enjoy yourself! i got this” she says and before you leave, you press a kiss to all three of your children before you’re out of the door and driving to the movie theater to meet up with alina and jorja to watch the barbie movie.

meanwhile…

“hi jungkook! long time no see” tina says with a smile on her face before she’s reaching across to shake his hand. “you look handsome and your hair has gotten longer” she smiles as she and her manager take a seat and pull out documents containing clothing ideas.

“so” tina claps her hands together “i’ve got a good set of clothing pieces, outfits, and i’m thinking maybe shoes?” while tina is talking, her manager gives jungkook a binder with all of the clothing pieces they sketched to see if he likes them or not.

“last year i did a women’s clothing line and i still want to do that but i want to do men too…with you as the global ambassador. you’ve grown past being just korea’s wealthy businessman, you’re even known in the states, europe, everywhere! people actually like you and it’s mostly because of your baby features. you’re an attractive man and with your status and support, i’m pretty sure we can get this line to be sold out the moment it drops”

So far he’s liking the designs, but he actually chokes on air when she suggests he should be the global ambassador for the Line

“Tina?! Are you kidding me? I’m sorry, but no. I appreciate your compliments, do you even realise how much time is required to be a global ambassador? It’s gonna take all my time.” He scoffs, putting the binder back on the table. “ I’m willing to fund it and all of that but.. I don’t know, no.” He shakes head. This is completely ridiculous.

He’s a father and he’s a husband, and he wants to spend majority of his time with you and still he is unable to because of his own company and work- imagine him- no.

“you could get any celebrity or idol but I’m not really willing to do this… in fact, I have a few idol friends that could be willing to be the global ambassador for our men’s line.” He suggests, taking a sip of his water, yes, just water because of course he wouldn’t drink with her.

Actually, working with her might not be so bad at all because she’s actually behaving like professional and he doesn’t see any thing in her eyes for him so that’s a good thing, “listen to me.. I can’t I am a father and I am a husband first and foremost and then I have my company- I cannot dedicate myself to this.” He reminds her once again, eating away.

Of course his life isn’t the same anymore. He’s not the bachelor that he once was, and now you are officially a part of his life along with his three beautiful children. “Y-Yn needs my time.” he says your name before thinking, and she goes all silent.

It is true though, you need him and you just had the babies. “she gave birth literally two months ago to twins. Of course, she really needs me at this time.” Jungkook tries to make her understand that he doesn’t have time at all.

“But as for the clothing line, yes I’m willing to work with you as partners. My assistant and team will reach out to you soon about the contract.” he’s now focusing on his meal, it is a beef steak, with just water, because.. you know why, while he’s waiting for her response to all of this, he stabs the boiled vegetables with his fork.

And he wonders if you’re enjoying your time with your friends.

“are we done here? Can I go now?”

[soft-persephone]

I Don't Want You to Leave

Doug Renetti x Black!OC x Tina Lewis

Explicit: MDNI // WC: 5k // masterlist //

Angel perked up when Doug walked in the door. 

She smiled and bounced over to him. The embarrassment she used to feel waiting around for him to reach a lull in his work or at how people might look at her ditching work every now and then to hang out with him were long behind her. 

She was here so much, people were no longer interested in what she did here as long as she stayed out of their way. 

“Do you wanna get dinner later?” She studied his face. He smiled back at her, but it was polite. Nothing more or nothing less. 

She quickly pivoted.

“It doesn't have to be anything fancy. We could stay at home and  do something simple, or maybe go out,” she put  up her hands in a effort to ease him, just whatever feels less intimate and more casual to you!” Angel giggled a little before snapping her fingers.

“Oh I know!” She smiled even more, “we could order a pizza? Eat it on the couch? Watch some good and or terrible movies? Your choice?”

His smile wavered a bit before coming back into place. 

“May..maybe some other time.”

He patted her on the shoulder before brushing past her to his office, closing the door behind him.

It felt worse than the quietness that stretched between them or his constant need for isolation.

She sucked it up, gave him his space… but it’s been weeks now, and he’s still acting funny. 

This polite smile you’d give a well intentioned stranger to leave you alone, or the one you’d give an elementary student when they ask you to buy something for a fundraiser.

She blinked the tears budding in her eyes and sat in the chair she pulled up by Tina’s desk. 

She kicked off her shoes, and sat down on one leg, making the other one dangle above the little rug Tina’s space heater sat on.

Tina was bustling away, paper after paper rustled from one place to another. Some were filled with tabs as she made a call or two, taking notes. 

People came by and gave her even more paper’s which she absentmindedly put away into their designated piles for her to eventually deal with. 

Angel tried opening her sketch book and finishing some she already started on. Maybe she could finally finish one and start making a painting for it, but they felt too lonely or held so much love that she wasn’t quite sure she was up for looking at for an extended period of time. 

The newest one felt out of place from the previous ones. 

Her art started taking a sad turn as soon as Doug started going through whatever he was going through. 

But now, after what just happened, she could only fill the page with a few droplets of tears, her hand still as it clenched and  unclenched on the page with her pencil in hand.

She attempted to hide a sniffle by burying her face in the crook of her arm, quickly drying her eyes with a sly movement of her hands, but Tina was too quick to turn around. 

“Hey,” she placed down the papers in her hand and faced Angel completely, “hey now,” she started softly with a comforting smile, “what’s wrong? Didn’t Doug just come in?”

Oh fuck.

Angel started to cry for real now. She was a silent cryer, so no one would know what was up, unless they were walking by or looking in their direction. 

But that was just it, wasn’t it?

She only teared up when she missed Doug. Angel’s just a sweet sensitive soul in the honeymoon phase of her relationship, so she cries every now and then when she misses Doug, but once he walks in that door everyone knows little ole Angel will be okay. 

“Does.. does Doug hate me now?”

Tina bit her lip before pursuing them together in a frown. 

“Doug… gets wrapped up on his own bullshit from time to time, and he won’t talk about it or do anything about it which just makes it worse.”

Angel nodded, not really sure where this was going, but it helped… kinda.

“So you noticed it too?” Angel fought the urge to sob.

Tina grabbed a tissue of her desk and cupped the side of Angel’s face before wiping at her tears. 

Angel tried to push back in her chair away from the touch, averting her gaze towards the floor at the same time. 

“Mm-mmh,” Tina whispered softly, “look at me, baby.”

Angel softly laughed with a hiss of breath. She bit back her smile as best as she could before slowly looking back at Tina.

“Doug does not hate you.”

“B-but why won’t he spend time with me anymore? He won’t t-talk to me either and he barely looks at me anymore.”

New fears fell down her face and Tina whipped them away as they fell.

Tina sighed. 

“Doug hates himse—“

“—Wh..what does that have to do with anything?” Angel almost spoke a little too loudly. 

Tina gave her a pointed look and Angel fought the urge to start shouting out of spite. 

The disappointment and bitterness was building up a storm without her and she couldn’t even let it out at the person who deserved it because they were avoiding her. 

“I will talk to him,” Tina pulled back, smiling softly as she noticed Angel absentmindedly following the movement of her hands as she was pulling away from her her, “but we all decided that if this was going to work between us, we’d have to communicate.”

Angel balled up the tissue in her hands, not looking up at Tina.

“I’m trying Tina.”

“I know you are,” she smiled softly, “i will do my best to talk to him, but whatever is happening between you two is for your two to sort out.”

—

After calming Angel down, Tina encouraged her, forced is a more accurate word, to go to her job and actually work some, regardless of the fact that she’d get paid anyway, and to come back in the afternoon when she was done. 

That time was creeping up slowly, so she made her way to Doug’s office. 

He worked today like it was my normal day, but Tina had left more than enough passive aggressive tension in the air to let him know how pissed she was. 

She walked over to the minibar by his couch and made herself a drink before taking a seat. 

He gave her a smile like normal and went back to reading whatever he was reading. 

Tina hated him when he did things like this. 

He would outright lie to her, sometimes when he had the grace to be even a sliver of something resembling a human being, he would give her the grace of saying the sweetest things he could. Telling her how sorry he was for putting her in a certain position, making her do certain things.He would plead and beg for forgiveness. He would do anything and everything he could to make amends.

When it was like that, it made forgiving him easie. She chalked it up to having a vision for the future she couldn’t see. 

He was fucked up, but he  had his own ways to get to the right place in the end, but then there were times like this.

“How are things between you and Angel?” 

Doug’s neutral smile morphed into something unpleasant, not quite a frown, but equally unappealing. His eyes dimmed down to something almost cold, but not quite. 

Doug never could completely cool down or detach. 

He ran hot, and he always will.

Doug put down the papers and leaned back in his chair to give Tina an appraising look. 

In place of his usual defensiveness, his anger, or argumentative nature when accused of something he only looked at her. 

Shit.

Tina didn’t know what this was about. 

“Doug, why are you pushing her away? You are the one that wanted this!”

“We..” His voice was low and gravely.

He’s been drinking Tina sumerises from the sound of his voice. And when he starts drinking too much, his voice always gives it away, displaying the evidence of being unused for an extended amount of time. 

“We wanted it.” He corrected again. 

“And has that changed.” Tina raised an eyebrow. 

Only he could fuck up something so easy. 

“She..you…” he sighs, looking up at the ceiling. It stretches out between them before he speaks again, “neither of you need me.”

Tina stays silent. 

Doug isn’t the poster child for emotional openness, so when he speaks on them for once, she just listens. 

“I’m just going to fuck this up. Just like I fucked up with us.” He licked his lips. “Maybe I let her find out now before it’s too late.”

Tina nodded to herself for a moment. 

Doug could be a self sabotager, but not intentionally, not usually.

But this was.. new. Something only Angel could bring out of him. 

“Why don’t you just.. tell her how you feel?”

Doug’s eyebrows scrunched together as he looked at Tina.

“Angel won’t.. she doesn’t…”

“She does and she will.” Tina deadpanned. Burying the laugh bubbling within her. 

“Angel is the most emotionally patient and understanding woman I have ever met.” Tina stood up and took a seat at the edge of Doug’s desk. “She puts up with all your other bullshit. Why would this be any different?”

Doug eyed Tina's legs dangling off his desk before looking up at her face. 

She smirked down at him. 

“I.. I don’t…” his focus wasn’t on the conversation anymore. They were alone and everyone else was home for the day. He moved to touch her but she slapped his hand away. 

“You still lied to me.” Tina said casually. 

Doug gulped, his atoms apple bobbed a little, making Tina bite her lip.

She watched the wheels turning in his head. She watched him second guess whether to smile and charm his way out of this one or start lying some more. 

“I’m taking Angel to the movies, I’m going to spend the night at Angel’s,” she mocked him, “we’re going to do this, we’re doing that.”

Doug shifted in his seat, his eyes darting around the room as she spoke. 

“I—“ he started with a tremor and another bob of his throat.

“Shut up.” Tina spoke in the same tone. Not raising or lowering her voice.

She commanded, he listened. 

“Move.” 

He swiveled his chair back slightly, making room between him and the desk. 

She stood above him. The frantic rise and fall of his chest making her throb. With every second going by his cheeks grew an angry red, his chest slowly matching. 

She leaned down close to him, slowly moving to unbuckle his belt. He kept his hands firmly on the arm rest. His knuckles strained white with the effort, remembering their rule of keeping his hands to himself. 

With less than a tilt of her head she looked from his hands to his face. 

“Good boy.” She purred.

He groaned, his hips bobbed forward in a small thrust but he overall remained still. 

“You're so good, Dougie,” she wrapped her hands around his cock, moving her hand in slow tantalizing movements, “you behave so well now but you’ve been so bad lately. Being good now won’t let you escape your punishment.

A whine escaped his lips. His loud and desperate pants were growing by the second and Tina had to clasp her thighs closer together.

“Do you understand?” She closed her hand around him a little tighter than normal.

“Y..y-yshhhh.” He stuttered out in a strain before letting out a higher pitched whine than before. 

Fuck. If he kept this up Tina wouldn’t last.

Angel walked through the doors of Bottom Dollar. 

All the lights were off save for the golden light spilling out of Doug’s office. 

She bit the inside of her cheek to avoid becoming.. emotional, about Doug. 

She doesn't want to deal with the trouble of taking the bus or getting a ride from work to get there and back here, but Tina insisted she keep busy and clear her mind, but now she is not “keeping busy” and has nothing but time to just think about it.

Tina gave her a call before she got off telling her, “Doug has slanting he wants to say to you.”

She didn’t know what to expect. 

However, she did not expect to hear moans traveling out of Doug’s office. She did not expect to walk in to see all the buttons of his shirt undone with his cock bobbing up and down as Tina sat on her knees palming at his balls. She didn't expect to see Doug fight the high pitched whines and desperate strained moans with one hand over his face as the other held the arms rest in a death grip.

“Oh.” Her voice was a dangerously low whisper. Her hands tensed around the bag at her shoulder and the bifold in her hand. Her throat felt tight and the room too small and stuffy. 

Despite how low and soft she had spoken, Doug had heard her. His eyes fell on her at the sound and he threw his head back with a violent groan. 

“Angel,” Tina’s tone was sweet, disturbingly normal even, “you made it!”

Tina enveloped one of his balls in her mouth and Angel inhaled sharply. With a pop of her mouth she pulled back, sitting higher before wrapping her hand around Doug’s dick once more.

“Tell her what you told me,” Tona stroked him suddenly, his chest rising with the movement, filling the room with a loud ragged groan, “say. It.” Tina emphasized her words with a squeeze of her hand, choosing now to rub at his weeping head with her thumb.

Angel’s panties had never been so wet so fast. 

She matched Doug’s gaze, and he let out an even louder sound. 

His face half covered with his hand in effort to muffle his sounds, various teeth marks in place from how hard he’d been biting his own hand. 

“Sc..sc-scared you’ll hate me.” He whined out, and Tina stroked him harder, “don’t…d,” he moaned and Tina stilled her hand, squeezing him, “don’twantyoutoleaveme—“

Angel moved behind his chair. She moved his hair out of his face and cupped his face with one hand. She moved the other along his chest. Sliding it up and down in slow languid movements to comfort the frantic rise and fall and he let out desperate pant after pant. 

Tina stopped touching him altogether, and his face scrunched up into something frustrated, but his eyes were closed as he leaned into the semi embrace from Angel.

“It’s easier to push you away,” he kicked his lips, calmed down more now that Tina momentarily stopped her onslaught of teasing and torture, “and make you leave me first.”

“I don’t want to do to you what I did to Tina… What do to Tina.”

“I could never hate you.” Angel rubbed his cheek with her thumb. She closed her eyes to avoid his and Tina’s gaze. 

“You aren’t… the first terrible person I’ve dated.”

Angel opened her eyes, and looked down at both of them. 

Tina seemed more relaxed, but her gaze held a little tension as she briefly made eye contact with her. Angel ignored that worry for a moment. She focused on Doug and the way he sank back in the chair further, his brow relaxing and the way his eyes started to glow.

“Never?” 

Angel thought about every horror story she’s heard about him. Everything Tina’s hinted at but never told her. The warnings from all her friends and family. All the things she pushed toward the back of her mind and avoided thinking about.

“Never.”

He smiled. Bringing his hand to cover hers on his cheek.

“Doesn’t change what he put you through over the past few weeks though.” 

Angel looked down at Tina’s dark heated gaze. 

She hummed.

“No..it doesn’t.”

Doug looked up at her with raised eyebrows. 

He felt betrayed. 

She almost felt bad, but it was nice to be the one Tina wasn’t teasing for once. To be the watcher. She moved her hand from his face to run it through his hair. Pushing out of his face, before she pulled at it tightly.

His throat bobbed and he inhaled and exhaled in sharp movements. 

A new sensation of anticipation and an excitement she never felt before twisted at Angel’s stomach. Without thinking she moved to kiss at the large expanse of his exposed neck. 

She mouthed and sucked at it. Leaving as large of a mark as she could. 

Mine, she thought with a grin as she felt the pleasant hum from his throat vibrate in her mouth. 

Fuck, she needed to do that again. 

“Angel, stop.” Tina was looking up at her with a warning glance. “He’s not supposed to enjoy this.”

Angel moved her mouth from him with a frown. 

She would outwardly complain about it, but she didn’t want to risk the attention moving towards her. 

Satisfied with one hand in his hair and one on his chest, Tina moved her hand back on his cock. 

There were plenty of sex toys and tools about the office. Probably in a box or room somewhere, but the precum dripping from Doug’s tip since Tina started her slow sensual torture was more than enough to get his dick wet as she jerked him off with her hand. 

Angel bit her lip at the sight. His thick hard cock strained against his belly above the dark crop of his hair. 

She wanted to lick it. Lap at the precum on his tip as he moved the hair on her head  anyway he pleased, gripping it to keep her close to him, telling her how well she was doing for making him feel so good. Telling her what he’d do to pay her back as she bobbed her head up and down his length. 

She hid her moan with a hum. She didn’t want to risk diffusing the situation with how horny she was without anyone even touching her. 

Doug’s head suddenly turned the other way, bumping into hers, and Angel simply moved to place her chin on his other shoulder. 

He was gritting his teeth hard to hide his sounds, but he was failing. The more Tina’s hand moved, the louder he became. 

Angel rubbed small circles on his chest. She was mesmerized by how it puffed up and down with every pant and moan. 

Tina licked the underside of dick starting from the base to his tip. 

He covered his face with a hand, moaning out a whine before biting down on the finger closest to his mouth. 

“Don’t.. don’t hide.” Angel murmured softly, "You sound so pretty like this.”

He only groaned louder around his finger, closing his eyes tightly. 

Angel ignored him with an amused huff. 

Tina was jerking him off at an even faster pace now, steady but still not too fast, his hips bucking into her hand after every other movement. Her mouth was wrapped around one of his balls before switching back and forth.

Angel wanted to help him forget where he was and what’s happening. 

He needs to let go.

She pried his hand from his mouth and he opened his eyes. Without looking away, she put her finger in his mouth. 

He opened it, letting her slide it along his tongue. 

“Cute,” she murmured in his face, “but that’s not what I wanted you to do.”

She added another finger on his tongue and smiled as he closed his eyes again. She noticed a pattern between him closing his eyes and how his eyebrows tightly knit together. A very familiar pattern. 

He was annoyed… irritated. 

She pinched his nipple with the hand that was resting on his chest and he closed his mouth in a hiss around her fingers.

“See,” she pinched at him harder before rubbing slow small circles along his nipple, “that wasn’t so hard.”

Tina hummed, moving her hand faster. 

“You look like your enjoying this, baby. Have you done this before?”

Angel felt her cheeks grow hot.

“No.” She murmured into Doug’s hair in an effort to hide from Tina’s heavy gaze. “Maybe I picked up a few tricks from someone.” Angel smiled into his raven curls that were becoming looser and messier by the minuet. 

“Think I’ll have to make you prove it to me later.” Tina said nonchalantly.” 

Ang was suddenly aware of how hard her own nipples were  under her clothes. 

She took her fingers out of Doug’s mouth with a pop.

He covered her his face with his free hand, letting all his sounds fly. The other held the armrest in a death grip. His thighs and lower abdomen were drawn tight, straining the material of his pants.

Tina winked up at Angel and she averted her gaze as her thighs suddenly became even wetter under her skirt. 

Tina didn’t hold back anymore. 

Her hand was hypnotizing as it moved.

But all Angel could focus on was Doug’s face. The sounds spilling out of his mouth as he came closer and closer. 

“What do you finally have to say, baby boy?”

“Im s-rrryy.” He whined loudly. 

Babyboy?

She was definitely saving that for later. 

Angel matched Tina and sped up her fingers over his nipples, causing his whines to reach an octave she never would have believed possible.

“Imsorryimsirrhyimsorry.” Each sorry was more tense and breathy than the last. Every part of him an angry red, tears falling down his face in pain. 

He couldn’t stop. His limbs were tense and like jelly at the same time. He was on fire and boneless.

“I know you are. You are aren’t you,” Tina cooed, “you can cum now.”

Thick hot spurts of cum splattered over his chest. Glittering under the light of his office.

Doug’s pants were ragged and heavily, filling the room.

Some of it was on her hands. 

Angel would feel shame for it later, but her mouth watered at the sight. She moved to put her hand in her mouth but Tina stopped her. 

“No.” 

Angel fought the urge to smack her teeth. 

“Put it in his mouth.”

Doug opened his eyes with an unreadable expression. The vein in his neck rolled with how hard he was clenching his jaw. 

“You made such a big mess, baby.” Tina rose slowly to her feet, sitting on the desk in front of them, “you gotta clean it up.”

Angel swallowed. 

Tina only ever called her baby, but she was looking right at Doug with such a heavy look, matching the glare he was sending her way. 

Is this what they were up to when she wasn't around? 

Angel carefully moved her hand from the back of the chair without making a sound. The other hand, glistening with Doug’s spend she placed it in front of Doug’s mouth as he and Tina glared at each other. 

He tilted his head away as her hand got closure. 

Angel looked at Tina, unsure what to do.

It was like that for a few moments. 

Doug sighed through his nose.

“Tins, you can’t be serio—“

Tina had pushed Angel’s hand into his mouth. 

“Suck. It.” Tina smirked into his face. “I don’t wanna see any left on her fingers when she takes them out, or I’ll make you eat all of it.”

That was it for Angel. 

Was she turned on by this? Or just the situation overall, she didn’t have the effort to decide. 

With the hand she had carefully hidden. She pulled her panties to the side and slowly pushed them past her lips, but she was too wet and the sound was loud and obvious. 

Recent events involved and the feeling of her fingers on her clit moving in slow circles, she let out a quiet moan. 

“You touching yourself back there, baby.”

Angel moaned again. Louder this time, nothing to hide now that she’s been caught. 

“Yes.” She mewled. 

Her eyes widened at the sound. Her face on fire. 

Tina appraised her with raised eyebrows and a Cheshire smile. Doug looked up at her with dark intense eyes. 

“Come from back there. Let us see you.”

Fuck.. she was in it now.

Angel slowly made  her way to the side of the chair. The hand at her side glistened with how wet she was.

“Come. Here.” Tina hopped down from the desk and moved to Doug’s lap. 

Angel nodded, before swallowing. She moved to take Tina’s place.

Doug was hard again. 

They made her spread her legs and touch herself until she came. Again and again and again. 

Now, Tina started kissing along her thighs, her fingers dipped inside of her, sliding in and out at a languid pace. Her  mouth wrapped around Angel’s clit, making her whine. She couldn’t stop the tears from how overwhelmed she was. 

“You're doing so good, Angel.” Doug groaned. Tina slapped at his thigh with her free hand and he put his fingers back inside her, matching the pace of Tina’s fingers in yours. He’d been trying to rub his dick along her folds for a while, but Tina wouldn’t let him. 

“Just give us another one. I know you can.”

“Can’t,” Angel panted, “can’t. No more. Please.. no.. no more.” She mewled again. 

Tina sat up and whipped her mouth with her thumb with a satisfied smile. 

“I knew I could get you to make that sound again.”

Angel layed back on the desk.

Something prickly was poking into her back but she didn’t care. 

She was so overstimulated she was sure she was going to feel this tomorrow. 

She looked down between Tina’s thighs at the wet spot she was leaving on Doug’s pants, at how his cocked bobbed between her thighs. 

“So you aren’t gonna?” Angel started.nsure what to say or do.  For some reason Tina makes her nervous sometimes. Especially when she was like this. 

Tina raised an eyebrow at her with a huff.

“I’m fine. I made myself cum plenty of times when I was jerking him off.” She slapped at Doug’s thigh for emphasis, making his cock bob.

“No…” Angel played with her hands, smoothing down her skirt a little. She isn’t a prude when it comes to having sex, but she hates talking about it, “I mean, you or me aren’t gonna..” she looked down at Doug’s dick again.

Tjna laughed.

“You don’t understand what a punishment is, do you?”

“But you.. we.. it’s not over?”

“No.” Tina smirked at her frown and Angel ignored how that made her feel. 

“So is this like a you punishing or a me punishing—“

“—it’s both of us. He does not deserve it.” Tina frowned.

Angel bit her lip. 

She was not going to make it. 

“How,” she cleared her throat, “uhm, how long is he on punishment?”

“Angelina!” Tina glared at her, and Angel nodded.

She was so fucked. 

She watched Doug push back as Tina slid off his lap. She  watched as he put his cock back in his pants as he stood up, jumping a little to get the zipper over the bulge without irritating it. 

Buttoning the three to four bottom buttons of his shirt he caught her staring and winked at her, before buckling up his belt.

She pursed her lips tightly to hide her smile and fought the urge to move her hair behind her ear as she did so.

Tina groaned in frustration. 

“Angel, if you fuck him, your gonna get it worse than he did.”

“Alright! I get it!” Angel huffed. “I don’t get why I’m being punished just because he’s getting punished.”

“You can’t go a few days without dick?”

“A few days?!?” Angel stood up in a panic. “I can’t have dick for a few days? I thought this was a day after tomorrow type of thing.”

“I think Angel is making a very good point.” Doug chuckled and put on his coat before grabbing his keys from behind Angel on the desk. 

“Just take her home without fucking her.” Tina deadpanned. 

“And remember,” she added as she walked out the office, “I always know.”

[nananarc]

Sharing some vague plans for the future (long rant)

I have some long-term projects in mind that i want to be able to work on for the few years at least. Hopefully i can successfully monetize them and be able to make a living for myself doing what i actually love instead of having to take on a corporate job in a shitty company drawing fucking awful shits for awful people.

- a sporadic comic of the daily life of two women living in Hanoi. It's just gonna be a cutesy lovey story. And it's gonna depict the beauty of an ordinary life in my home country. I plan to release lineart version for free, while colored version with extras will be paid. This will allow me to work on the story faster bt dividing it into 2 phase (lineart and then color later), and also allows everyone to have access to my stories.

- nsfw comics: one shots or short series of sexual stories. I have a lot of stories in mind that i want to work on in the future. Stories of angst and fluff alike, but there's gonna be a lot of kinky boinking. I really like telling sexual stories and drawing sensual arts as you can see, so hopefully in the future i can properly share with yall what i have in mind. This is probably gonna be all paid, unfortunately. Nsfw comics are much harder and riskier to work with, so i need to make a living more out of it accordingly.

- some other slice of life comics from waaaay before: i honestly don't know how they are going to play out, but let's just put them here as a self reminder that they still exist lel.

- in the far future, a fantasy epic graphic novel with my sister: thus is more of a passion project at the moment, and it relies on my sister a lot so I can't really say much about it.

- "a complete dummy's guide to drawing" book that covers everything in the process of making art. I strive to cover all the fundamentals and self learn resources for beginners to start drawing. My goal is to provide a framework of thinking so that anyone can self study for art, especially beginner, making art more accessible to everyone. This is a very long term project and I'm only in the very early stage of skeletoning for it. It will be available for free on a pay-what-you-want basis. There are probably something like this already exist, but from my experience, the knowledge and content is very scattered and illogical. I want to give people a more scientific, logical and easier to follow approach to art. So there will be a lot of textbook formatting and havard citing xD well i came from a business background and i found scientific research methods are really convenient in self study. I have not think of a way to make this more profitable tho, especially when it's such an ambitious and long term project. Maybe I'll put it off for another few years before working on it more seriously, when I'm more financially stable. I'll still be writing notes on it on and off as i have been doing for the past couple of years tho.

- zines of artworks and sketchbooks: i plan on compiling more sketches and wips of the past and future into zines to earn some living money out of it. There will also be themed nsfw arts zines that are exclusive, but this is still a very vague idea that i have not hashed out yet.

- paid content will be either available through one time purchase zines, or subscription. Zines are simple to work out, suitable for oneshots, sketchbooks and tutorials. But subscription requires additional maintenance that frankly I'm reluctant to take on. I'm very much not a social person or social media person, and having to consistently giving creations and engaging with people sounds dreadful to me. It's also gonna be tricky to incorporate nsfw and sfw contents in the same subscription so I'll have to work that out in the future if i want to go this route.

- zines and subscription will probably be priced relatively cheap, as I'll mostly be making profits through volume, at least until i figure out a better fitted business model. Something like 5-15$, with nsfw priced higher.

- experimental art project, for a lack of better word: i have some ideas for some experimental shits, some are mixed media with original music and stuff. It will explore old ideas in a new lense, and also explore Vietnamese traditional values as well. I hope to be able to bring the full experience to both offline and online audience, but that's obviously not possible, so I'll try to tweak it so it will still be fun despite on how you experience it. There might be a way to make some money out of it, will figure it out later as i actually work on it. It's gonna be exciting and weird.

- in a far future, I'll open some sort of art mentorship that is based on subscription. I'll be coaching individual over online meetings and personal mentoring, and this is probably gonna be only 1-2 at a time. This is a far future tho.

- I think I'm gonna have a hard time making a living wage for myself considering how niche i am. All the the above are niche at least to a level. So maybe doing commission as active income is still gonna be main income. Even then my audiences are still pretty niche lmaoo but i digress. For the near future, maybe I'll only work for individual clients instead of company due to creative freedom. Not like there will be a line of company begging for me to work for them tho lel it's the opposite.

- i have always been interested in furry arts but never got to really explore this. You'll be seeing more experiment of my art on this in the future. Furries seems to be able to make money more easily too so that's a good thing.

All in all these are just some points I'm telling myself to work on in the future. It's truly hard to find a career here since no one i know irl walk in the same path, so all i do is just fumbling in the dark as i find a way. Tonight i managed to string a few coherent thoughts together so might as well put them down for future reference.

Sorry if i make it all sounds so money and business, but the hard truth is we are living in capitalism and I'm not born into a rich family. I need to be able to live alongside of actually learning how to enjoy living.

Please tell me if you have any comments or suggestions on this, because i really do need the help ahahahahhaa *crying uncontrollably

[marveladewithice-blog]

@soxthebox oki dokes i hope i did this right 😌👍

1. i have ibs paint on my phone, but i never use it for it’s intended purpose. i just occasionally use it to very quickly make stupid memes whenever the situation calls for it lol

2. front facing and/or 3/4 is my go to, but i’m practicing my side profiles (:

3. most of my oc’s i still use today stem from my childhood fandoms. like for example, the characters i use for my lil comics were organically my shitty fnaf oc’s and now they’re high schoolers isn’t that neat

4. i love how hands look and when i make good ones i have been blessed but my god is it hard to make a good one 😭

5. i post all of my digital works, but not often do i post my traditional pieces. usually the only way you’re gonna see my sketchbook work is if i transferred the sketch and redrew it on the computer if that makes sense lol

6. other people for sure. there are so many interesting people at my school with cool hair and fashion senses and i have definitely let that seep into my work whether i acknowledge it or not

7. all arts i don’t participate in lol. but for sure watercolors. they’re so pretty and light, i wish i could use them

8. i kind of go through phases for my two main “universes,” the superhero one and the high school one. some days i’ll be developing the backstories of these angsty superheroes, and the next day i’ll be writing all the favorite foods and celebrities of my high school characters. the duality of man

9. i think the question means what i usually name my files. they can range from something normal like “snazzy six comic 4” to something very stupid that i will definitely forget if i need to go back to it later like “OhOHoh DELICIOUS i need to eat this” and i hate when past me does that

10. love me right spaghetti strap tops, they’re easy and look cute so that’s a double yass

11. usually either music or youtube video essays. i made a playlist where i put all the long ass videos i find into, and whenever i plan to draw i just open up that bad boy and hit play, removing them when done

12. the neck is pretty chill. but the shoulders is where the problems start

13. myself lol actually idk i should be following more specific creators and all but honestly i’m kind of just existing and stuff at the moment

14. plaid?

15. usually just at my desk, anywhere else is to uncomfortable

16. not sure man, i don’t necessarily think i’m good at anything 🧍‍♀️

17. usually just water. i don’t have the energy to get food from the kitchen lol

18. uhmmm yea

19. paper that’s in the air or falling and stuff like hnnngghhh that’s so fun

20. recently i’ve been having fun drawing wrinkly old men and it is honestly so fun

21. extreme yet simplified cartoonish styles and slightly realistic styles

22. sometimes i shake my hand aggressively.. if that counts

23. idk what this means, i’m gonna assume it means like if i use multiply or overlay layers. the answer is yes, always all the time yes

24. bestie i use anything and everything i can find to get that one incredibly specific pose i’m looking for

25. someone said they liked my anime art style, and tho i see it, idk i never thought it looked enough like the usual anime art style. maybe it was subconsciously inspired by it lol

26. ngl i was not expecting the monster high art to do as well as it did but i appreciate so very much

27. no, that’s a thing? people do warm up drawings before they get into the good stuff?? maybe i should try that

28. every year i do the july art challenge, which is basically inktober but i made it and there’s no prompts and you just have to draw one drawing and post it every single day for the month of july. i made it so i could have my own inktober during the summer—when i could actually do it without having to worry about school and everything lol

29. i guess just like sitcoms and other live action type shows and whatnot? just shows i watch purely for entertainment and such i think

30. this was the first time i drew something that wasn’t an oc in a hot minute and i think we need to celebrate that

violla the asks have been answered yes yeah yes yeah yea yei

Weirdly Specific Artist Ask Game

Didn't see a lot of artist ask games, wanted to make a silly one.

(I wrote this while sick out of my mind last year and it's been collecting dust in my drafts, I might as well let it run free) 1. Art programs you have but don't use

2. Is it easier to draw someone facing left or right (or forward even)

3. What ideas come from when you were little

4. Fav character/subject that's a bitch to draw

5. Estimate of how much of your art you post online vs. the art you keep for yourself

6. Anything that might inspire you subconsciously (i.e. this horse wasn't supposed to look like the Last Unicorn but I see it)

7. A medium of art you don't work in but appreciate

8. What's an old project idea that you've lost interest in

9. What are your file name conventions

10. Favorite piece of clothing to draw

11. Do you listen to anything while drawing? If so, what

12. Easiest part of body to draw

13. A creator who you admire but whose work isn't your thing

14. Any favorite motifs

15. *Where* do you draw (don't drop your ip address this just means do you doodle at a park or smth)

16. Something you are good at but don't really have fun doing

17. Do you eat/drink when drawing? if so, what

18. An estimate of how much art supplies you've broken

19. Favorite inanimate objects to draw (food, nature, etc.)

20. Something everyone else finds hard to draw but you enjoy

21. Art styles nothing like your own but you like anyways

22. What physical exercises do you do before drawing, if any

23. Do you use different layer modes

24. Do your references include stock images

25. Something your art has been compared to that you were NOT inspired by

26. What's a piece that got a wildly different interpretation from what you intended

27. Do you warm up before getting to the good stuff? If so, what is it you draw to warm up with

28. Any art events you have participated in the past (like zines)

29. Media you love, but doesn't inspire you artistically

30. What piece of yours do you think is underrated

[bouncybrain]

I realize I said I'd share progress working on all the proper design work on Maddox, for me to put him on Art Fight for next season, but I never really did.

Just figured out today why that was.

It's a little frustrating because I have no reason to be irked by this, but my character design work very rarely goes through any major changes. Oftentimes I won't even make it past five major things adjusted during the initial design phases. I don't think I saw one instance where I made it past ten, but I'm bad at counting.

All that to say I didn't actually have anything interesting to share about the design process past giving myself a headache working out the colors I was (not really) seeing in my head. And that's not really all that fun, is it? I was going to share the design process but by the time I stopped to take a break I was basically already done with the design.

Half the time my initial design work just looks like warmup sketches for the actual bit I was working on instead of making a new design.

I guess I'm just disappointed that I can't share my joy in character design because it doesn't look like I even do all that much, even when a video is recording every line I draw.

Sometimes I go and completely redesign something I made, but that's really just because I no longer like it, a type of natural growth that happens all the time. I used to redesign a character like twice a year because of it. That still isn't very involved or elaborate, because, again, it just... happens just right, and then there's nothing else to do but labor over picking the right colors and drawing details I'll forget a thousand times over.

Maybe it's interesting to see me do it in real-time, I don't know. I can't really stream, anyway, because we have bad internet and I don't really know how or where I would stream it, either. I mean if anyone has tips and tricks on how to stream art from an iPad I'll listen.

I won't be promising process updates anymore, though.

[anime-grimmy-art]

Better than inktober, I might just try to complete your undertale folder of sketches before times up. I know it's only one submission that counts. I just want a personal challenge as I'm having a hard time breaking through my art block as of late. (I haven't been able to get past the sketch phase in a while)

I'm only gonna submit the single piece, but in my own time work on the others and maybe put them all into one post the day after the due date ( with you completely credited, tagged, and linked) if that's alright?

Hiya!

By all means, go for it!!!

I will have the sketches available for a while after the deadline too, cos I want ppl to have fun with this, even if they dont wanna participate.

Anyways, good luck and much fun!

[thebangtancloud]

He’s fascinated by something you do - Jung Hoseok

 “Sunshine,” Hoseok whined, dragging out the syllables and speaking in an adorable baby voice, “stop that now, come sit with me.” His words only appeared to hit your skull and then bounce back towards him.

‘Am I talking to the walls?’ he wondered to himself. All he wanted was for you to put away your notebook and come sit next to him, he wanted to hold you.

Having had enough, he jumped off the couch and walked towards where you were sitting rather awkwardly on a small chair, with your knees pulled up to your chest and your notebook resting on them.

“What are you doing? Are you drawing?” he inquired.

You looked up at him briefly, your hands not stopping for a moment.

“Huh?”

“What are you doing?” he repeated himself, moving to your side to sneak a peek into your notebook, the one which you had been scribbling away to glory for the past 20 minutes.

At first, Hoseok thought you were drawing something, maybe a sketch of his face, but then he figured that the pen in your hand was moving abnormally fast to be doing so, so he thought you were writing something important, maybe a song?

The last thing he would have ever thought of, was something that you were doing so intently and hurriedly. You were solving complex math equations, without a calculator.

He felt his eyes bulge out of his sockets, if that was even possible, gasping dramatically before choking on his own saliva, erupting into a coughing fit. This seemed to have caught your attention, placing the notebook down and standing up to pat his back.

“I’ll get you some water.” You offered, moving towards the cabinet above the sink to withdraw a glass. After filling it up, you turned around to see him standing with your notebook in his hand, his eyes as wide as dinner plates.

"Jagi...what is this- how did you- wait...how have you been doing this? You must be crazy." He shook his head, coughing slightly before handing you back the notebook as if it was burning his eyes to look at it, taking the glass of water in return.

"What are you talking about?" You looked up at him with a frown.

"You're not normal." He laughed, taking a tiny sip of water.

"Why?" You peered down at the notebook before looking up at him again.

"How on earth can you do that? No one does that!" He exclaimed, pointing weirdly at the page that was filled with various equations and numbers.

"I do that." You nodded, not really understanding what this was all about.

"Okay, I would've understood it if you were working on an assignment or something. But how can I digest the fact that you're literally solving these huge sums, without a calculator?! Just for fun?" He threw his hands up in disbelief.

"It's easy, I do this all the time." You replied calmly.

He looked at you with a blank expression for a moment, before raising his eyebrows at you as if you had just spoken Greek.

"Did you just say 'easy'? And you do this 'all the time'?"

"Yes, come here, I'll show you." You reached for his arm and took him to the table, opening the notebook and grabbing the pen in your hand.

"This is what you do, all you have to do is simplify the equation, first we do this multiplication here- 478 × 93 would be--" you paused briefly, looking up into the air as you calculated the answer in your mind, "44454." You wrote down the answer before moving forward, "Now we divide this by 6...that would be 7409. Now we have to find the cube roo-" Hoseok suddenly stood up straight, startling you.

"Stop, I don't think I can ever understand how you did that, or how you do that. Wow, my girlfriend is a human calculator." He spoke quietly, looking at your face before raising his hand to pat your head.

"This is weird... Keep it up, I guess?"

You laughed and stepped closer to hug him, wrapping your arms around his back.

"I do this whenever I feel like I'm stuck in some phase of life. Solving these difficult problems makes me feel like I've at least accomplished something." You explained.

He looked down at your face in concern, reaching for an eyelash that was resting on your cheek.

"You feel like you're stuck? You've accomplished so many things baby, what are you taking about?" He whispered, suddenly worried.

You remained silent, choosing not to answer his question. You held onto him tighter, letting out a deep sigh. He decided against pushing it further, rubbing your spine lovingly.

"It's okay, you don't have to say anything, but I'm always here for you okay?" You nodded.

"I mean it baby, I am always by your side, I'll never let go of your hand, so if you ever feel like you're falling, I'll pull you right back up." He promised you, resting his head against yours.

You didn't reply again, just nodding to whatever he said before melting further into his arms.

"Sunshine are you okay?" He tried to move you away to get a better look at your face, but you only pulled him even closer to you, locking him in your embrace.

"Yes, now stop talking and let me hug you." You whined into his shoulder, grinning as you heard his deep laugh vibrate through his chest.

He held you without uttering a word, sighing in satisfaction and relaxing completely in your arms, swaying the two of you sideways, until you both were slow dancing in each others arms.

"Can I say something?" He suddenly broke the silence.

You hummed in response, placing a tiny kiss to his collarbone.

"I'm sure what you have is a superpower. Even Namjoon can't solve such big calculations as quick as you do!" He squealed, clearly unable to swallow the fact that you were still able to effortlessly carry out a task that was otherwise nearly impossible in Hoseok's world.

You just giggled and poked a finger into his side, laughing even harder when he screamed and jerked to the side, immediately releasing his grip on you.

"I'm not lying! That's the coolest thing I've ever seen someone do, moreover, it's my girlfriend." He smiled fondly, glancing back at the notebook before reaching for his phone,

"I have to tell the boys this, my girlfriend is smarter than Namjoon! I'm never gonna stop bragging about this!"

.

.

.

DID YOU GUYS LIKE PERMISSION TO DANCE ??

Series Masterlist.

Masterlist.

[mostlycompetentwriter]

Hellooooooo! Okay, so I don't really know how to express myself, lol, so is okay if you get confused. I really like your writing and I think you are really good at writing drama and conflict between the caracthers. I want to request a history with Changbin, but I don't really know what theme to request? All I want is a history with smut, sexual tension and conflict between the main caracthers, maybe some angst? Sorry if this is not okay

Pairing: Y/N x Seo Changbin (SKZ)

Warnings: Smut, Language, Mention of Smoking and Alcohol Consumption

Word Count: 5K

Genre: Ex-Lovers AU

He left you at your most vulnerable, breaking your heart a thousand times over, shattering it into little pieces that took you years to put back together. For a long time, you thought you would never feel complete again, but the distance helped, ignoring his name when it appeared on your social media accounts, and there was some semblance of normal when you moved into a new apartment at the edge of your college campus. You were able to get your life back on track, set to graduate at the end of the Spring semester, and most mentions of Changbin went through one ear and out the other like a whisper of the cigarette smoke he used to inhale. 

You thought you could survive without him. But then the worst happened, and you opened your apartment door one morning to find Changbin standing on the welcome mat in front of your suite, clad in a leather jacket with a chain around his neck that probably cost more than your entire paycheck.

"Changbin?" you immediately questioned. After all, why shouldn't you wonder about his sudden appearance? Especially since the last time you had been together was five years ago when he dismissed your relationship as nothing more than a passing phase.

"Y/N," Changbin said with a timid smile, and that made you frown because he didn't deserve to smile at you. The same man who left your side after repeatedly promising to stay because he preferred to find success beyond your small town, and it looked like he had accomplished all those goals that you used to dream about together in bed. 

So why the fuck was he standing there like that?

Your fingers clenched around the door, and you wouldn't even allow him a chance to explain himself since you were slamming the door in his face.

Damn, that felt good.

You let out a deep sigh, shaking your head as if your mind was an etch-a-sketch and you could just pretend like he was never there in the first place. Changbin belonged in the past, and that's where you wanted to leave him.

But the past was also really good at creeping back up on you when you least expected it.

"Y/N, please open the door," you heard his voice through the thick wood, and your heart started beating faster.

"Fuck off," you nearly snarled, storming away upstairs so that you could lock yourself in your bedroom.

“Y/N!”

Why the hell did his voice carry all the way upstairs?

“Just go away,” you whispered, and you were left with no choice but to bury your face beneath your pillows, closing your eyes tightly together while you spent the next several minutes willing Changbin to leave you alone. 

Hadn’t he already done enough damage to last an entire lifetime?

Five years ago

You and Changbin were laying side by side in bed together, legs curled like twisted limbs, naked flesh against naked flesh. He was smoking above you, blowing thin wisps into the air, and his fingers were running up and down the exposed flesh of your hip.

"Did Chan like your mixtape?" you asked, briefly snatching his cigarette for a quick drag before returning it between his fingers.

He smirked at you. "Yeah, he said he might play it to the producer he knows."

"Really?" you grinned, thinking about how Bang Chan was basically the equivalent of Changbin's idol crush.

"I might call him tomorrow," Changbin continued, and you were glad to see the excitement on his features.

"I'm proud of you, Binnie," you said, leaning over to offer him a deep, passionate kiss.

He tasted like smoke, bitter against the tongue, but you would never grow tired of his kisses.

They were like a shared affirmation between the two of you, an acknowledgment of the other. The openness of a relationship where you felt truly loved and adored by the one person who you trusted more than anyone else.

“Baby, if you’re not careful...” Changbin purred against you. “I’ll have to fuck you again, and I have a shift in the morning at 6.”

“I wouldn’t mind,” you said, digging your fingers a little bit tighter in his dark hair. “I’ve missed you.”

The sentiment rang true when it was spoken aloud, and you suddenly realized that Changbin had been spending a lot of his time between work, classes, and his music. That left little attention for you, and it certainly made you feel like Changbin was sometimes prioritizing you last.

“I’m sorry, Y/N,” he breathed, running his lips across your own. “You know I’d never forget about you.”

You nodded, looking deeply into his eyes, seeing nothing but love and adoration reflected back at you. 

“I know,” you said, holding him close and ignoring the insistent whisper at the back of your head warning you that Changbin had no intention of sticking around.

Present

“I should’ve warned you about Changbin,” Jisung said when the two of you met for dinner that evening. “He called me last week.”

It was tradition at this point: meeting up with Jisung after your evening class to indulge in greasy cheeseburgers and melted milkshakes.

For $5.00, you certainly weren’t going to complain. 

Jisung had been your friend for years. Introduced to you through Changbin back when you had first started hooking up in the backseat of his mother’s car. You were instantly charmed by Jisung, and he was the perfect person to talk to when you had problems weighing heavy on your mind.

Even after Changbin had left, Jisung stuck by your side, and you thought he was someone you could rely on,

Until now.

“You knew he was coming back?” you huffed, trying not to feel annoyed with Jisung.

He was aware of your complicated past with Changbin. He understood all the pain, heartache, and the hardship you went through when the man you loved decided to leave you in this town alone. In a way, it almost felt like Jisung was showing you that he was far more loyal to Changbin than he was to you.

“How did Changbin know where I lived?” you asked, rolling your eyes when you watched Jisung dip his head, an apology whispering its way loose from his lips.

Jisung had always been Changbin’s friend before yours. How could you forget? “Fuck off,” you muttered, grabbing your jacket in spite of Jisung’s protests.

The second time you’ve had to say those words. Not that you wanted to make a habit out of it, but Jisung had really pissed you off.

You could feel him trail after you, hot on your heels as you rounded the corner to leave the restaurant. “Y/N,” Jisung said, grabbing your arm and forcing you to stop. “Changbin asked me not to tell you.”

“Yeah?” you spat, yanking your arm free from Jisung’s hold. “You can tell him to fuck off too.”

Three times.

“Y/N-”

"No, Jisung!” you shouted, attracting several pairs of eyes in your direction. “That’s enough.”

“I’m sorry!” Jisung pouted. “I - I just, he sounded so sad on the phone when he called, and I wasn’t expecting to hear from him. He hasn’t exactly kept in touch.”

“Yeah, and that’s the problem,” you snorted, taking a deep breath as you worked through the simmering rage bubbling in your stomach.

“Y/N-”

“Does Chan know?” you interrupted him again, and Jisung hesitated.

“Changbin called him last night,” he confessed. “Told him about what happened when he tried to see you.”

“Why would I want to see him?” you questioned. “I don’t want anything to do with him.”

“I know that, Y/N,” Jisung said. “But Changbin just wants to talk to you. It doesn’t have to be anything more than an hour in the library on campus or something.”

“So he can lie and tell me that he’s sorry?” you asked. “I don’t want to hear any of his bullshit.” You frowned. “You can tell Changbin that he’s not getting anything from me.”

Jisung sighed, and you could see another argument formulating in his intense gaze, but you didn’t give him a chance to plot his case, reaching for your keys in your pocket as you hurried down the sidewalk. 

8 Years Ago

Changbin liked you.

You smiled at the reminder, looking back down at your phone screen to re-read over your most recent text exchanges with Changbin:

From Changbin:

There’s a party tonight. If you wanna go.

To Changbin:

It’s not one of those things where I’m supposed to bring a plus one, right? I’m fresh out of eligible bachelors.

From Changbin:

Why would you bring anyone? You’re going with me.

You giggled while reading the messages, remembering when you met with your friend, Rachel, earlier that morning. When she had leaned in close to you in the cafeteria, smile conspiratorial, and whispered to you that Changbin had not so discreetly admitted that he liked you very much.

It was the main reason why you were indulging the prospect of Bang Chan’s party at his brother’s apartment. Usually, you avoided those parties, annoyed by the loud music and drunken shenanigan's. 

But you were willing to tolerate the hectic scene if it meant seeing Changbin.

Your crush of four years who you had always admired from afar, thinking he was so cool hanging out with a college student in Bang Chan and producing music that sounded remarkably professional. 

Sure, it was mostly SoundCloud mixtapes, but you were Changbin’s biggest fan, and the idea that he was giving you the time of day made you long for him even more. 

“Just be cool,” Rachel told you as you both ventured up the stairs leading to the party, ignoring the other students loitering around and the promise of a headache from the loud music inside.

“I know,” you grumbled, fishing out your cellphone to use your camera to check your reflection one last time.

“If you’re lucky, you’ll end up getting laid tonight,” Rachel giggled.

“That’s the idea,” you replied, matching her smile as she knocked on the door, taking a step back to allow someone on the other side to let you in, greeting you both with an enthusiastic wave of his hand while the ripe smell of alcohol wafted out into the corridor.

“Come on,” Rachel said, taking your head to move you through the heavy traffic of partygoers sipping from red solo cups and talking in loud voices to be heard over the heavy thumping of the bass music. “He’ll probably be with Chan at the Sound Table.”

You nodded, turning your head from side to side in your search to locate the object of your affections. It was difficult to see your way through the massive swarms of people, and all you could do was keep moving and wrestling your way to the living room. Thankfully, your friend was there to guide you, and you followed Rachel on her heels, smirking when you spotted Changbin up ahead talking with Chan. 

When he noticed you for the first time, Changbin startled, choking around the inhale of smoke from his cigarette.

He stubbed it out against the side of an ash tray.

“Smooth,” Rachel snorted, but you found it oddly endearing. 

“Hi,” you shouted at Changbin when you were close enough, watching Rachel grab onto Chan’s arm with a flirtacious pout.

“Y/N,” Changbin said, leaning in closer so you could smell the smoke on his leather jacket. “You look amazing.”

You smiled. “So do you.”

Changbin grinned, rolling back his shoulders. “Do you want something to drink?”

You nodded enthusiastically, waving off Rachel when Changbin started to lead you in the direction of the kitchen.

It was much less congested around the bar, and you watched with impressed eyes as Changbin expertly maneuvered you both up to the counter, reaching for two bottles before pouring a sweet-smelling combination that would likely leave you feeling a little bit tipsy.

“Here,” Changbin said, and you took the cup from him, tasting a small swallow and savoring the smell.

“Thanks,” you said, slanting yourself a bit closer, just to feel his warmth. “What music have you been working on?”

Changbin’s eyes lit up as he launched into an explanation, and you found yourself enamored with the passionate way that he spoke about his work. It was one of the biggest reasons why you found yourself drawn to him in a way that you had never experienced with anyone else.

Eventually, Changbin tapered off with a laugh, draining the last remnants of his drink. “I’m talking too much about myself.”

“No, No!” you protested, waving around your hands. “I don’t mind.”

“Oh?” Changbin smirked. “It would be nice if we could hear each other better.”

Your heart started beating a little faster. “It is loud...”

“You want to get out of here?” Changbin asked, and it was the question that you had been waiting to hear all night long.

You made a show out of pretending to mull over your response, taking the time to admire the sight of Changbin dressed in a tight t-shirt that clung to his arms.

“Yeah,” you said, reaching out for his hand. “Let’s go.”

You rode with Changbin several blocks down the road to escape the downtown area, recognizing a familiar suburb when Changbin stopped his car in the driveway of one of the pretentious houses.

You had heard rumors that his parents were rich, and the evidence was right in front of you, even though you much rather preferred to look at Changbin himself, switching the ignition off with a sigh.

“You want to come inside?” Changbin asked, and you knew that the invitation precluded much more than casual conversation.

“Yeah,” you agreed, smiling at him in return when he fumbled his seatbelt in a quick haste to escape the car.

But by the divine interference of fate, you both managed to make it through the front door, hands growing more and more anxious to touch. Your breathing was erratic, eyes struggling to adjust to the inside of Changbin’s dark house, and you gasped when he backed you against the wall, kissing you and forcing your lips to part around his own.

“Bedroom,” Changbin whispered, and you nodded as he wrapped an arm around your waist to drag you upstairs.

It was an awkward effort, exchanging quick kisses where your teeth meshed together far too often, stumbling over the raised carpet. But you managed to coral him past the open door to his room, gasping when he used his foot to kick the door closed, dragging you down onto the bed with a grunt.

“Changbin,” you moaned when he crawled over you, desperate fingers hurrying to remove all the clothing separating you from the skin-on-skin contact that you craved so desperately.

Changbin’s lips were slightly swollen when he reattached them to your own, tongue penetrating inside, and you ran your hands down the firm muscles in his arms, tracing the built form of his torso with a shiver of delight.

He was so strong, so big and thick in all the right places, and you couldn’t help but indulge in the defined ridges of his abdomen, running your hands all the way down to tease your fingers against his erect shaft.

“Fuck,” Changbin hissed when you took a firm hold of his cock, the slide smooth from the precum leaking at the tip, jerking your hand up and down as he filled to full hardness.

“Touch me,” you whined, parting your legs to let him know exactly where you wanted him to touch. 

“Yeah?” Changbin purred, grazing the tips of his finger across your clit, sending a shiver down your spine. “You want me to get this pussy ready for me?”

You could barely manage a nod, feeling yourself grow even wetter, making the curious penetration of Changbin’s finger easier to endure, clenching your teeth together as your walls adjusted to the gentle prodding.

He was looking for something, and he found it when he pressed up against your g-spot, sending your back arching from the mattress as your eyes rolled into the back of your skull. Intense pleasure building in your core.

“Right there?” Changbin chuckled, and you could practically hear the smirk in his tone, choosing to ignore him as he added a second finger, curling them in a hooking motion to glide against your sensitive opening.

He had been careful at first, testing your limits and experimenting with the right combination of motions to drive you insane. But with the rise in volume of your moans, Changbin threw all caution to the wind, fucking his fingers into your sopping cunt like he was determined to ruin you. 

Your hands bunched themselves into the sheets, taking shallow breaths as you worked against the strange combination of pleasure and pain, the dexterity of his fingers making their way as far as they could go. 

It was slick and wet, messy and sticky, but you wouldn’t want it any other way from him, reaching up for Changbin to beg another kiss, indulging in the bluntness of his chapped lips.

You smirked against him when you fixed that problem. Laving your tongue across his bottom lip before applying enough pressure to wrestle a deep grunt from his chest. A guttural sound that had your toes curling as he kept stimulating you just right, bringing you to the edge of a very promising orgasm.

But you wanted nothing more than to cum for the first time on his cock. 

“Fuck me, Changbin,” you nearly cried, reeling from the addition of a third finger, and feeling your orgasm burning at the precipice. 

“You want my cock?” Changbin nearly growled, and you gasped as the sound rasped right next to your ear, trembling from head to toe. 

Changbin pulled back, leaving your pussy clenching around nothing, and you heard the crinkle of the wrapper, tensing in anticipation as Changbin rolled the condom over his cock. 

He parted your thighs, holding them apart with a strong grip. Your muscles ached in protest from the stretch, but it was a good pain, and you wrapped your arms around his neck to drag him closer.

“Kiss me,” you requested, and Changbin was more than willing to oblige, parting your mouth against his and sending a swipe of his tongue over yours. 

The first glide of his cock was jarring, and you hadn’t expected him to feel so big inside you. 

He moved at a snails pace, eyes watching you for any signs of discomfort as he kept moving, pressing all around you until his hips were planted against your own, waiting there as you adjusted to his length. 

You moved your arms to wrap them around his neck, gasping as you nodded for him to go on, to pull all the way out before pressing back in, building to something that promised nothing but pleasure. 

You whined when Changbin offered you a sweet kiss, and it was much less primal than your earlier exchanges. In fact, you were almost nostalgic, tasting him everywhere and battling with your tongues.

But you realized only a second later that Changbin was distracting you, keeping your attention focused on maintaining the perfect rhythm between your lips, and you hardly realized that the tip of his erection was prodding against your opening. 

“Oh!” you moaned, jittery fingers curling into his hair as he started thrusting his hips at a steady pace. Gentle at first. Establishing a rhythm. But then he started going faster, cock sliding between your folds with a flaring friction, aiming for a faster kind of fucking that had your head spinning to keep yourself in the moment.

Trying not to lose yourself to him completely, wanting to remember all the sensations and pleasure. The way that he held you with both hands bruising your waist, dragging you up and down the mattress, chafing your skin and igniting a different kind of burning. 

Your orgasm was approaching fast, being pulled from somewhere deep inside that you hadn’t felt in a long time. Like you had been waiting for this perfect moment with Changbin, indulging in the thickness of his cock and the way he filled you again and again, balls slapping against your ass and intonating a vulgar sound over top of your combined groans and grunts. 

He pushed your legs even higher, giving him a new angle to attack your cunt, splitting you open on his pulsing erection, lips still battling with your own as you both struggled to comprehend the simple motion of kissing with the chaos of your bodies meeting in the middle.

“Close,” you warned him in between fierce nips of his teeth. 

“Come for me, then,” Changbin said, pushing his cock deeper, and reaching down to rub tight circles around your clit.

“Shit!” you cursed, fingernails digging into the skin of his biceps, closing your eyes when a series of hard thrusts threw you into a maddening loop of lust, unraveling one piece a time, descending into a vortex of pure gratification. Barely cognizant of Changbin still going above you, bending your legs at unnatural angles, and chasing his own high.

But you let him do whatever he wanted, and it was well-worth the overstimulation to feel him cumming in the condom. It had you reeling, tossing your head from side to side on the pillow as his breaths panted against the column of your neck, bared for his tongue and teeth to paint a colorful picture.

You were finished. Levitating on another plane of existence. Holding tightly to the simple action of Changbin feathering his fingers along your pursed lips, whispering sweet nothings as the world around you faded into nothing.

Present

It was perhaps inevitable, despite your best efforts, that a collision with Changbin would happen when you least expected it.

“Damn,” you cursed when you spotted him running at you from across campus, darting between students who gave him curious looks. 

Your feet weren’t fast enough to carry you into your classroom building, and you resisted a whine when Changbin grabbed your arm, pulling you back in his direction. “I thought I told you to fuck off,” you sneered, dismissing the startled looks from your classmates.

Four Times.

“Please, Y/N,” Changbin sighed. “I just want to give you an explanation. I think you deserve that after all the bullshit I put you through.”

“I don’t want to hear anything from you!”

“I know!” Changbin shouted, clearly exasperated as he combed his fingers through his hair. “I deserve that, but you shouldn’t have to live with the why, ya’ know? Why I did all the shit I did to you.”

“I don’t care,” you said, wrenching back your arm. “You had your chance.”

“Yeah, and I blew it,” Changbin said, darting back in front of you when you tried to walk away from him. “I know you have no reason to trust me, or to even give me a second chance. But I promise that I’m not just trying to clear my conscious.”

You huffed out a breath, looking around at the gathering scene of onlookers observing your exchanges. 

It was too early to deal with a crowd. “Come here,” you grumbled, snatching his sleeve and guiding him into a nearby classroom building, isolating you both in the first empty study lounge you could locate. 

Finally, alone one-on-one with Changbin, you could feel everything: all the anger, frustration, and hurt building back up at once. “You know that I fucking hate you,” you started, interrupting Changbin before you could spit out some kind of bullshit apology. “It’s insane, really. I used to want you more than anything, and now I can barely stand to be in the same room.”

Changbin swallowed hard, looking down at the floor. “God, Y/N, I get where you’re coming from, but it’s hard for me to hear that from the person I love.”

As soon as he said those cursed words, you saw nothing but red. “Don’t you dare say that you love me,” you hissed. “If you really loved me, you wouldn’t have left in the first place like you did!”

“Why do you think I did it that way?” Changbin asked, and you took the question as rhetorical, lips thinning into a firm line. “Huh?”

“Maybe you’re a fucking liar too.”

“No, Y/N. I wanted you to hate me,” Changbin whispered. “When I was out on the road playing shows in clubs and bars, I was able to keep going because I knew there would be nothing waiting here for me here. It killed me to leave you like I did, but in my head, it was the only way I could go.”

“But why did you have to go?” you asked, voice catching around a tremor, the first hint of the pain beneath the rage. 

“This place meant the world to you,” Changbin said. “You always talked about your plans of going to school here, of staying close to your family...I couldn’t possibly ask you to leave that for me.”

You shook your head. “I needed you, Changbin.”

“I know...”

“Obviously you didn’t,” you retorted. “Otherwise, we wouldn’t be at this point.”

“I was a stupid kid, Y/N,” Changbin said. “I get that it’s not enough of an excuse to invalidate your feelings, but there’s a reason I came back...”

“Don’t say it,” you pleaded, closing your eyes at the first sting of tears.

“Fame means nothing without you,” Changbin persisted. “I want you back, Y.N.”

“Changbin...” you trailed off, losing out to him in that moment at the first contact of his arms keeping you tight against his chest.

Five Years Ago

It was commonplace for Changbin to sneak in through your window at night. The old cliché that kept you both laughing over the secret ordeal like it was a private joke made just for the two of you to share.

Maybe you should’ve known, then, that something was different when Changbin asked to you to meet him outside, especially when he refused to return your smile as you approached him standing next to his car.

“I heard your new album,” you said, deciding on a topic that usually brightened Changbin’s mood. “I heard my voice. Do you remember when we recorded that?” You gave him a knowing look, leaning in to wrap your arms around his neck. “We hardly got any work done.”

Not when he had decided to fuck his cock into you over the side of the work bench. 

“Y/N,” Changbin said, and his tone was serious as he forced your arms to return to your sides. “I need you to listen.”

You swallowed hard, wondering if Changbin could hear the rapid thudding of your heart. “What about?”

He sighed, crossing his arms over his chest, stretching the sleeves of the t-shirt he was wearing. “I got an offer,” he said at last. “A producer in LA offered to sign me.”

You hesitated, confused as to why this would qualify as anything serious. In fact, it sounded like an amazing opportunity for Changbin. Something he had always wanted. “Binnie,” you said. “That’s great, isn’t it?”

“I’ll have to leave,” he said, and then he narrowed his eyes. “I can’t have anyone holding me back.”

You staggered backwards from the force of his cruel words. “Changbin-”

“This is me telling you that I’m not staying here with you,” Changbin said, and he was already attempting to walk away when you snatched his arm, digging your nails into flesh and forcing a hiss from between his teeth.

“What are you doing?” you asked, feeling the first tears fall. “You can’t be serious, Changbin. We can make this work.”

“I don’t need anything distracting me,” Changbin said, and he was fierce when he pried your fingers loose. “Music is all I care about.”

His tone cut through you like a knife, and you were already doing damage control on all the bleeding as you attempted to reason with him. The same man who promised to never leave you. The person you were supposed to go to college with next year and fight for your dreams together.

“You promised me, Changbin,” you said, voice breaking on every word. “Why are you doing this?”

“It’s not what I want anymore,” Changbin said, shouldering you aside as he moved to the driver’s side. “Music is my number one priority.”

“Please, Changbin,” you begged him, trying to keep him from closing the door. “You can’t leave me here! I love you so much!”

“Yeah? Well, I can’t do this anymore, Y/N,” Changbin whispered, and your tears were blinding, heart aching so painfully that you thought it might burst out of your chest.

Present

“So...” Jisung trailed off, gaze bouncing between you and Changbin. “Are you guys...okay?”

You rolled your eyes at the phrasing, ignoring Changbin’s penetrating stare as you sipped on your milkshake.

“Awkward,” Jisung sniffled, crossing his arms over his chest with a pout. 

“It’s not our business,” Chan gently reminded him, and maybe him coming to your defense made you slightly less angry that he didn’t warn you of Changbin’s plans to try and woo you back.

But only a little.

“They’re our friends!” Jisung protested, but it was an argument he couldn’t win.

You frowned, leaning back in the booth to glare at Changbin. “Do you still smoke?”

He was clearly taken aback, not expecting the question as he fumbled a response. “I mean, I’ve tried to quit...”

“Whatever,” you grimaced, sliding your milkshake away as you took out your phone.

Chan easily picked up on the tension, doing what he did best and intervening. “So, Changbin...are you still working on music?”

“I’m on a break,” Changbin explained, and it felt like he was talking directly to you. “My manager’s giving me time off to sort out some things.”

“Right,” Jisung snorted. “I guess Y/N is part of those ‘things’?”

“He might think so,” you said, “but there’s nothing between us.”

Chan let out a low whistle, and Changbin shifted next to you. “Y/N, can I talk to you outside?”

“Oh, shit,” Jisung cursed quietly, but you simply shrugged and indicated for Changbin to lead the way, following him with your head held high, determined not to break down again as you had done the previous afternoon.

The chill of the night hit you like a solid mass, zipping up your jacket as you stuffed your hands into the pockets, spinning around to fix Changbin with a stern look. “You think it’s easy, don’t you? Worming your way back into my life like nothing happened.”

“That’s not true,” Changbin denied. “Y/N, I can’t pretend to understand your hurt, but as the one who caused it, I want nothing more than a chance to make it better.”

“And you think you can do that by tricking me into these little dates?” you asked, watching him wince with a sick sense of satisfaction. 

“I love you,” he insisted, and you wished he would never say that again. “I want to show you that much.”

“Your love is brutal,” you said. “Leaving me so it’s more convenient for you. To make yourself feel better on the road knowing that you have nothing keeping you to this place.”

“It was so fucking wrong,” Changbin agreed. “It took me a long time to realize that.”

“Too long,” you sighed.

“I thought about you all the time,” Changbin said. “Why the hell I could never connect the dots goes beyond me. Maybe I was caught up in the fame, the big contracts, and the cool recording deals. But that just makes everything worse, doesn’t it?”

“What? That you prioritized LA over me?” you asked. “When you decided a chance to make an album for iTunes is better than keeping your promise to never leave me.”

Changbin closed his eyes, shaking his head. “It was all wrong. I was so fucking stupid. You have no idea how much I regret everything...”

“It’s too late to realize that now,” you said. “And to ask for another chance with me?” You scoffed at the idea, shivering at a passing breeze. 

“I’m asking for a chance with a different Y/N,” Changbin said, and you raised one brow in confusion.

“What?”

Changbin smiled. “God, Y/N, you and I are both different than we were at 18. I know you’ll call bullshit, but maybe being apart was a good thing. We’ve been through a lot of shit, and as much as I can still see the same fire in you that I did five years ago, there’s something more there....” He broke off with a chuckle. ���I’m not asking you to forgive 18-year-old Changbin who thought he needed the world at his feet. The same kid who gave up the best thing in his life to chase the illusion of fame.,,”

He took a deep breath, looking up at you with sincere eyes. “He doesn’t deserve your forgiveness or a second chance. But the man you see in front of you right now? He’s willing to do anything to get you back. Even if that means leaving my signature off that contract renewal, or giving up music altogether for a chance to be with the most beautiful girl I’ve ever met.”

Your heart fluttered at the sentiment, and you almost laughed because Changbin was preaching about how different he was, but his boyish charms remained untouched. “That’s a hard catch for me to accept.”

“Then I’ll keep asking,” Changbin insisted, and you could tell that he was serious, finding yourself totally conflicted as your very soul split into two diverging parts.

One half that craved for his return, and the other that held steadfast to all that he had done. Eighteen years old or not, he still broke your heart, and there was so much bitterness lacing those memories and you felt it every time you saw him.

Eventually, you settled for something in the middle, where you could keep him and deny him. Giving you time to think things through, and even being generous with your time and allowing him a chance to prove himself. 

A chance, at the very least, for forgiveness.

Even if it never happened.

“You’ll have to earn it back,” you said, and Changbin’s eyes lit up at the prospect.

“Maybe we could start over,” Changbin suggested. “I can be less of a dick this time around.”

“Oh, yeah?”

“Yeah,” Changbin smirked, holding out his hand. “Hi, I’m Changbin.”

You scoffed at the cliché greeting, but there was nothing else holding you back as you enclosed your hand into his own. “I’m Y/N.”