#maybe one day I'll translate to english too

[hitchhikerwithoutguide]

Jag har aldrig varit med om något övernaturligt.

Men många tror inte på mig, för huset jag växte upp i är 200 år gammalt. En gammal herrgård som tillhört min familj i 150 år, men marken den står på har tillhört min familj längre än så. Exakt hur länge vet jag inte, men längre än husets existens.

Till herrgården hörde kringliggande åkrar, ett dränghus, en laggård och mycket mer. Många generationer av min släkt på mammas sida har levt där hela sina liv.

Men trots den långa historian som tillhör huset så har ingen i min familj upplevt något övernaturligt. Visserligen är det ingen av oss som tror på något sådant, jag är väl den mest spirituellt lagd av oss, men jag är fortfarande extremt skeptisk. "I want to believe", men aldrig fått några bevis.

Men en gång, när jag var 17 hände något. Detta är 9 år sedan nu, och en av våra gamla katter hade gått bort. Katten var 15 år och hans mamma ett år äldre.

Båda katterna tyckte mycket om att sova i min säng tillsammans med mig på natten, men de tyckte inte riktigt om varandra och fick liksom turas om. Den natt jag tänker berätta om var honkatten inte hos mig, och jag var på gränsen mellan vaken och sovande.

Plötsligt känns det som att en katt hoppar upp i sängen, men den var tyngre än honkatten. Samma tyngd som den nu döda hankatten hade. Den gick upp mot mitt huvud, och la sig vid huvudkudden. Precis så som hankatten brukade göra. Det kändes varmt där den låg.

Jag öppnade aldrig ögonen, jag rörde mig aldrig. Jag minns inte om det var för att jag var för trött, eller om faktumet att det kändes så tryggt och fint att det var precis som om hankatten hade lagt sig där.

När jag var 18 år gick även honkatten bort, vid 17 års ålder. Och några nätter efteråt låg jag i min säng i samma stadie mellan vaken och sovande. Något hoppade upp i sängen, och la sig vid min mage som att vi skedade. Precis på samma sätt som honkatten gjorde nör hon levde.

Men jag är osäker på om det som hände då för nästan 10 år sen faktiskt hände. Jag var övertygad om det då, men berättade det mest som att det var en verklig dröm. Kanske var det allt det var? En inbillning, en önskan, en dröm.

Men oavsett om det var mina bortgångna katter som för sista gången kom och sov i min säng är jag extremt tacksam för att jag fick uppleva det. Det hjälpte med att lätta sorgen något, som att dom ville berätta för mig att allt var okej, att dom var okej och jag behövde inte oroa mig för om jag hade gjort tillräckligt för dom.

[wildkitte]

Creusa’s disappearance: longe, pone, fefellit and Aeneas’ duty

Creusa’s disappearance is a curious part of Book II and has captivated me ever since I first read (and then reread and reread and reread) the book. Aeneas’ sorrow at losing his wife is so acute and palpable even after years on the run, but it’s still awfully… vague, isn’t it? What really happens to Creusa? And whose fault was her disappearance anyway? And how does this reflect on pius Aeneas, when he can’t follow his duty towards his wife?

I’ll be paraphrasing my thesis quite a lot here and I am leaning quite heavily on the Servius/Servius Auctus commentary, kind of as a jumping board to interpretations of this part of the book. (Also, in my first post I talked about the juicy bits starting from 2.768, and I must admit that I just glanced at my thesis summary and picked the wrong lines to start with. So, let’s actually start from 2.667 up to 2.760 and then finish with 2.768-795. These are the lines I spent 5 months staring at and hitting my head against a brick wall until the brick wall broke. Also, special un-thanks to Servius for being such a bitch to translate.)

So disaster unfolds and it all comes down to Aeneas’ plan

Let’s recap: Anchises will climb on Aeneas’ shoulders, and Aeneas clasps hands with little Iulus, and finally “let my wife follow our footsteps at a distance” – longe servet vestigia coniunx (2.711). Alright, solid plan there – but how far actually is this longe? This has been an issue of debate especially among modern feminist critiques (I once again raise Perkell (1981, 2021), Grillo (2010) and Hughes (1997) as ones whose articles I found the most useful for my thesis topic) but apparently this has been enough of an issue, a weird imperfection in Aeneas’ perfect image (I say image, because he is unwell and kind of not perfect at all), that it deserves its own comments in Servius’ commentary. So how long is “at a distance”? Or is it “a long way off” or “far away” (LSJ gives all these options)? How far away exactly did Aeneas order Creusa to follow behind?

Servius states that longe can’t be that long of a distance, since later (2.725) follows pone subit coniunx (“wife walks behind”). Pone, according to Servius, does not signify time – so it must express distance. Creusa does not follow some time behind, there is no significant delay between Aeneas & co. and Creusa, and with that logic she must have started out close by. Servius also defends Aeneas’ plan: it makes more sense to go individually like this, as a bigger group is easier to capture. I also do not think Aeneas meant for this distance to be so long – he clearly expected her to be right behind them, as she clearly should have been within sight (and also hey let’s talk about vidi crudelius soon, that’s a fun one). But why did she have to stay behind in the first place? This kind of leaves a bad taste in the reader’s mouth. Does pius Aeneas, the man embodying pietas, only extend his duty towards family to its male members? How could he be this neglectful of his wife? What is the reason for this?

Here I must bring up the curious case of fefellit in 2.774 (et comites natumque virumque fefellit). In Kline’s translation this line goes: “[she] had escaped the notice of friends, child and husband.” Sarah Ruden’s translation also uses this “escape notice” translation, but there is actually some disagreement on the meaning of this line. Fallo is quite rare in the Aeneid, and only appears a few times. Here Perkell points out, that in these other locations, fallo signifies “to betray, deceive” instead. Perkell argues, that we should interpret fefellit to mean deception instead. In a way this would fall into line with Aeneas’ desperate attempts to put the blame on someone, anyone else than himself.

Quem non incusavi amens hominumque deorumque, what man or god did I not blame in my madness? Himself, Perkell argues (and this is a compelling argument – though I always interpreted the genetivus partitivus also included Aeneas himself). He talks about some hostile power taking control of his wits, and even Servius says that this sounds like an excuse (and wow would you look at what happens in 12-948-949?). With the fefellit argument I don’t really have much to say myself – I think turning fallo into “Creusa was deceived OF her companions, child and husband” rather than she herself deceiving them is maybe more accurate.

There is no reason to believe that Aeneas is being dishonest about this progression of events – in general he is treated as a trustworthy narrator when it comes to Books II and III. But it does not escape my notice that while the description of Troy’s fall is so detailed and brutal and graphic throughout Book II, Creusa’s disappearance is almost… sanitized? And Servius actually points out the same: she disappears “pure and non-violent [like the wind]” (Serv. Aen. 2.794), she is the only one whose death gets a vague, sterilized description (if we compare to literally anyone else in this book). But for what reason?

My professor pointed out that one reason might simply be trauma. Losing Creusa is simply too painful to talk about. Perhaps he did come across Creusa’s corpse on the way (he actually reacts the same way to Polydorus’ corpse in Book III; obstipui, steteruntque comae et uox faucibus haesit, 3.48) but he does not wish to repeat this private tragedy, “the cruelest sight” in the entire fall of Troy: the loss of Creusa.

But hey let’s finally talk about that vidi crudelius. Servius makes a fascinating comment about this line:

VIDI CRUDELIUS bene se futurus commendat maritus, qui apud feminam sic ostendit priorem se amasse uxorem. (Serv. Aen. 2.746)

“future husband recommends himself well. thus, he demonstrates to [Dido] that he loved his previous wife.”

This comment changes the perspective, doesn’t it? Because suddenly Servius reminds us, that this is Aeneas’ performance to Dido, and it would kind of be bad optics to admit that you were so careless with your wife that she died due to your negligence and failure to perform your duty as pater familias. Austin suggests that Aeneas self-inflicted blame and sorrow moved Dido, making him a more desirable husband – it must be a relief for Dido to find someone who understands her pain of having lost her spouse. Could this be a calculated move from Aeneas? (Perkell does kind of think that Aeneas is being purposefully deceptive, but here is where I disagree with her)

But even with all this, it is probably safe to blame the gods and fate here (almost like that’s a theme that comes up over and over again).

In Creusa’s first words to Aeneas, it kind of seems that she already knows what’s to come: cui parvos Iulus, cui pater et coniunx quondam tua dicta relinquor (to whom do you abandon little Iulus, to whom father and the wife, who was once called yours? 2.677-678)? Servius directs attention to coniunx quondam, saying quod eventurum timet, quasi iam contigerit, deflet (she laments as if what she fears to happen had already happened; Serv. Aen 2.678). It’s like she can feel it coming, the fate about to steal her away.

She does in fact confirm this herself in 2.777: non haec sine numine divum eveniunt (this did not happen without the will of gods)! There is further proof in the scene where Aeneas dashes back to Troy. Previously in the book danger was everywhere, streets littered with corpses and the city on fire, Greeks and Trojans clashing in mad bloodletting all over the city – and yet now, as Aeneas tracks back his steps and calls out for Creusa over and over again (the “iterumque iterumque vocavi” is so phonetically delightful isn’t it), the enemy does not see him. Servius comments on two things in the passage 2.767-769: Aeneas shouting explicitly exposes him to danger – and this also proves that he had himself evaded this fate, while he lost his spouse to it (hic ostendit, et se fato evasisse, et fato coniugem perdidisse, Serv. Aen. 2.768). (Edit: holy shit how could I forget: Aeneas literally calls her fatone erepta, snatched away by fate. So there it is.)

As said, in my opinion there is no reason to believe Aeneas is lying or being dishonest, while it is kind of convenient that Creusa herself comforts Aeneas with this “oh well, that’s what the gods want, no can do” speech. Still I tend to agree with my professor: the trauma is simply too fresh and painful to share (“Infandum, regina, iubes renovare dolorem” applies here too). We’ll never know what truly happened to Creusa, and that is part of what makes her disappearance so compelling. What use is there to indulge in such mad grief, after all?

 Here's all I have to say about Creusa’s disappearance for now. In the next post, let’s talk about how cute Aeneas and Creusa are and why there should be more fanfiction of them on AO3.

[portokali]

also!!!! @thegarlicbreads tagged me to share my most recent, current & next read!!! ty lett that's a v fun game! 🍃

tagging @mothvhs @pherelpis @pinknoisemp3 @quillsand @catboyparrish @librarybi @byrons and everyone else who wants to do it!!!

[intravention]

u/Evangelion2004 on Reddit has been working on translating Dogra Magra (an epic feat given how notoriously long and complicated the original is). I hope they finish it, I'd love to read it all one day.

I know there's a recently published translation of the novel as a translation of a translation from Japanese -> French -> English. I'm not sure if it'll get reprints, though, so I don't think I'll be reading that translation any time soon.

Translation is hard, and inevitably, some details will be lost in translation. I wish I was more proficient in Japanese or at least Chinese so I could read it without being dependent on a translator. For now, I'm thankful to the people who do TL work. There are so many stories I'd never get a chance to know without help crossing the language barrier.

[aniesvision]

distraction (bff!colby x f!reader)

based on a request! (im sorry it's not exactly how u asked for but i'll do more fics with colby and try to use all your requests, for now i hope u like this one 💕)

warnings: little angst at the beginning, mentions of break-up and cheating (not her or colby), crying, kissing, making out, fingering, oral (f! receiving), handjob, p in v, pet names (baby, pretty girl), kinda rough (?), slight dumbification, spanking but just a lil bit, all fours!, orgasm denial, praising, pleading, backshot.

a/n: hi! I had this in my notes but in portuguese, so I tried to translate it, if the writing is different that's why! i hope you guys enjoy it, and just the usual reminder: english is not my first language!

synopsis: you go through a breakup and decide to drive to your best friend's house to distract yourself, but he surprises you with his choice of distraction.

note: Colby's purple!

🪻🪻🪻

Although I had always loved rainy days, the gray clouds covering the sun and the drops of water soaking the concrete streets, today I couldn't see it in a positive way. Traffic was at a standstill, a thunderstorm was falling on the glass, and the sound of my music was being drowned out by the loud noise of drops contacting the roof and windows of the car.

In any other situation, I would've just parked, turned up the sound and enjoyed the time. But now, I would do anything to stop all this and just get to my destination right away.

The stress of the current situation and the memories of what brought me this far rolled through my mind and all I could do was feel the tears forming and falling on the steering wheel.

It was just a few more damn blocks, just a few more streets, just a little bit more. The crying came as hard and heavy as the rain outside. If there's one thing I've always hated it's feeling weak. To be collapsing in the car, standing in the middle of the street with a storm happening, the feeling of being so close, yet so far from where I wanted to be, was too much.

Not only that, but having just moved out of my, now ex, boyfriend's house after he decided to finally confess that he had been cheating on me for the past few weeks while I had been traveling for work and thinking about how I missed him didn't help at all.

I didn't want to go for so long, I hated being out of the house, out of my comfort zone, and even though I enjoyed my job and learned a lot, maybe I could have avoided it all.

Of course, if he cheated, it wasn't because we were separated for a long time (witch wasn't even the case, it was just two weeks), it was because he was a dick.

But still, I can't help but wonder if things could've gone differently if I had simply refused the trip.

It was only two weeks, which in theory wouldn't be that long. Two weeks, in which I dedicated myself to work and tried to improve my career. Two weeks in which he was always too busy for a facetime, but said he missed me. Two weeks in which I bought gifts for him, in which I texted him whenever it was possible, in which he was fucking another woman in the same bed that I used to spend my nights.

I returned from the trip straight to him, straight to his house, straight into his arms. The hug and touch I wanted to feel so much.

He opened the door and didn't even smile at me. I walked in, asked what was wrong, my heart already felt that something was going to happen, that there was something wrong. I knew, even before he said anything, that we weren't going to stay together after that conversation.

When we sat down and he explained his reason for not wanting to be with me anymore, for making me feel guilty for leaving him alone, apologizing for cheating on me but not seeming to regret it, my heart broke into a thousand little pieces.

I didn't say a word, I just handed him the gift I bought him during the trip, knowing he'd like it, and walked out the door. I hadn't cried until then, even though I was destroyed from the first moment.

My idea was to go to my best friends' house and try my best to forget about all this. But, traffic happened, and the tears kept coming, and I couldn't even pull myself together enough to drive a few more damn streets. I cried, and cried some more, and even more.

I cried until I had no more tears left, and then I felt so tired that I couldn’t even think straight. I took a deep breath, started the car, and drove the rest of the way to his house. I knocked on the door a few times, and as soon as it opened, I didn’t even wait to figure out who had opened it, I just buried my face in the chest of the person in front of me and clung to their body with all the strength I had left.

The person in front of me gently pushed me back. Colby looked at me with concern, his eyes softening as he take in my state. He pulled me into another hug, allowing me to stay there as long as I needed. After a while, we separated.

He locked the front door and explained that he was home alone, but Sam would probably be back later if I wanted to talk to him too. We sat on the living room couch. Colby hesitated to ask what happened, due to my state. I took a deep breath, removed my sneakers, crossed my legs on the couch, and mindlessly played with my fingers while I told him what happened, without looking at him.

-He cheated on me. — I said, simply and directly, my voice slightly hoarse and still filled with sadness.

Colby's eyes widened in shock, and he quickly stood up, stopping in front of me.

-What?? —His voice carried anger.

He was in disbelief, caught off guard by my confession, but it was clear how furious he was.

I remained silent, unable to repeat the phrase that had already been so difficult to say out loud.

-He’s a damn idiot for cheating on a girl like you. Fuck, I want to punch him so bad right now. —Colby ranted, pacing from one end of the room to the other.

It was hard not to break down right there, but it was even harder to cry in front of someone else. Despite having cried in front of Colby before, I didn’t want to shed tears for someone who didn’t deserve them.

-I don’t want to remember it anymore. Can we talk about something else, please? I just need a distraction. —I said, frustrated.

Colby looked at me, the anger gradually turning into understanding. He took a deep breath to calm himself and nodded, extending a hand to help me up before pulling me into another hug.

-Yes, of course. Whatever you want. —He said, his tone softer now.

He stroked my hair with one hand and my back with the other. We stayed like that for a while, not saying anything, just appreciating the closeness. After a few minutes, he pulled away just enough to look into my eyes, studying me carefully, trying to understand my feelings. It looked like he was examining every detail of my face, maybe to gauge how I was doing, simply out of concern.

Colby gave me a small smile, cupping my cheeks with his hands and leaving a gentle caress there. His gesture made me smile back, and I looked at him as attentively as he looked at me.

Without saying anything or even preparing me for his next move, he pressed his lips on mine in a delicate, quick kiss, pulling away in less than five seconds, afraid of my reaction.

I stared at him, not angry, not irritated, not disappointed, just extremely confused.

-You said you needed a distraction. —He explained, his voice low and hesitant, as if he still wasn’t sure if he should have done that, if it had worsened the situation or possibly helped.

I think about what he said. Colby and I had shared a few kisses before at parties when I was single, and he was too. But, at parties, we were in a more appropriate setting for friends to just kiss spontaneously without needing any justification, purely out of desire or a “fuck it” moment.

And now, despite not being at a party, I was upset, heartbroken, and genuinely needed something to take my mind off things. So, the “fuck it” moment happened, and I leaned in to kiss him again.

What was supposed to be just a quick peck, turned into something more when he decided to deepen the kiss and brush his tongue against mine. It was the first time we kissed for real. It wasn't just a simple touching of lips, but a true tongue battle, with our heads slightly tilted to opposite sides.

His hands moved to my hips, pulling me closer, and I wrap my hands around his neck, playing with his hair. He was a good kisser, the synchrony of our mouths was perfect, and the distraction was working way too well, until he pulled away, with a smug smile on his face.

-Do you feel distracted yet? —He asks, in a sarcastic tone, like he wanted to find a way to provoke me as he always do. I roll my eyes with a small smile on my lips, not even thinking twice before responding.

-I think I'm not distracted enough.

He pulled me into another kiss, even more intense than the last one. Gradually, he took two steps back, sitting down on the couch, with his legs slightly open, his eyes focused on mine.

He pulls me by the hands, making me sit on his lap, each leg of mine on one side of his body.

We went back to kissing, not even giving ourselves time to process what we were doing. It felt so natural, as normal as a routine, it felt comfortable enough that I didn't even wonder if I should be making out with my best friend.

The kiss became deeper, more intense. Colby moves his hands to my ass, pulling me even closer, making me feel his already hard member through his sweatpants. In an automatic action, I move my hips, grinding on him and making him separate the kiss to let out a loud sigh.

Our gazes met once again, his pupils were dilated, his eyes looked different, the tension in the air was almost palpable.

He squeezes my ass, making me gasp, and a smile appears on his lips. I didn't know when Sam was going to come back home, I only knew that this was in fact happening when I felt my shirt being pulled off my body and thrown on the floor.

Fortunately for me I wore a nice bra today, which matched my panties. My idea was that someone else would see it, but it didn't happen as I expected.

I didn't know how to feel when my thoughts went to how slutty I was to let someone else see me that way so quickly after my break up, but considering that I trust Colby with my life, and it was visible how fascinated he was, I couldn't case less.

His eyes scan my body, his fingers lightly moving at my sides, almost shyly, feeling my skin. But he wasn't shy, it was obvious from the way he was basically eye fucking me.

- I really want to do this, but I don't want you to feel like I'm taking advantage of the situation to get in your pants. —He says. I smile, grateful that even though we were making out, he still thinks of me with respect.

I take one of my hands to his chin, lifting it with two fingers.

- I trust you. —My voice is firm, although it contains a certain sweetness.

He nods, getting the message, and kisses me again. In one quick motion, he takes off his own shirt, tossing it close to mine on the floor, wasting no time in exploring my exposed skin with his fingertips.

His lips trace kisses from my mouth to my neck, where he leaves some hickeys. My eyes remain closed, feeling every touch my best friend provided.

Without thinking too much, I run my fingers through his skin too, feeling every detail. Even though I've seen him shirtless before, this was different, it was another context and another occasion.

I let my fingers slide down to the waistband of his sweatpants, but before I could pull it down, he switches our positions, laying me down on the couch and doing what I planned to do, taking off his sweatpants and tossing it aside.

He does the same with mine, his eyes looking me up and down, his lips finding mine to another kiss.

Our glued bodies, the friction between our skins and the last pieces of clothing are reasons enough for us to understand that we were crossing a line. Even so, neither of us took the time to stop and ask if we were sure, it was obvious from how unable we were to stop. From the fact that I was already hot, my panties soaked and how hard he was.

There was no room for questioning.

Slowly, Colby's hands find the clasp of my bra, gently taking it off. He stares at my boobs for a few seconds, his mouth agape like he was seeing the best work of art of all times in front of him.

-So beautiful. —He mumbles, before bringing his lips to my nipples and leaving wet kisses there.

He squeezes my other boob with his free hand, making me gasp, which gave him even more confidence to continue.

He gave the same attention to the other nipple, gradually moving his kisses to my belly, stopping just before my panties, looking up and smiling before letting his fingers curl around the elastic.

Even though I didn't say a word to stop him, his eyes asked for my permission, and I answered him only with a quick nod.

He took off the last piece of clothing that covered my body, my skin completely exposed to the eyes of my best friend. A wave of nervousness hits me, making me somewhat anxious about the situation I got on.

Colby leaves light kisses on the inside of my thighs, getting closer and closer to where I wanted, taking his time to tease me. When finally his lips make contact with my sensitive area, his tongue tracing a line from my entrance to my clit, a small moan of pleasure escapes my mouth.

-Mhm, Colby, please... -I whine.

It only served to boost his ego, his tongue moving faster and more precise, my hips moving involuntarily against his mouth, his hands firm on my thighs as he kept his head in between my legs, making me completely forget how strange and maybe even wrong it was that I was so easily surrendering to another person.

-Colby... - His name comes out low, in a small plea for him not to stop, one of my hands intertwining in his hair and pulling him closer, my back arching on the couch.

Even though I can't see, I feel a smile forming on his lips, one of his hands sliding down my thigh. He slides a finger under his chin, pushing in and moving it at the same speed as his tongue.

A few moans come naturally from my lips, my hand holding his hair tighter, my head being thrown back and my eyes closing in pleasure. It was almost impossible not to give in, all the anxiety I felt earlier going away with the knot that formed in my stomach.

-Colby, fuck, I'm... -I try to warn him, his voice interrupting me.

-Cum on my fingers, baby.

A feeling of tension followed by relaxation takes over my body and little by little he withdraws his finger and his tongue from me, looking at me intently.

My only reaction was to hold his face and pull him in for a kiss, feeling my own taste. My hands move until I managed to get the last piece of clothing off his body, leaving us equally naked. I use one of my hands to feel him, his veins pulsing in my fingers, the tip hot and red. The sigh coming out of his lips as he feels my hand working on his member, not letting me continue until I'm done as he uses one of his hands to hold both of mine above my head, his other free hand lining up his member at my entrance and thrusting it all at once.

I bite my lips, trying not to scream when I feel the burning sensation and light pain before I got used to his size, a shaky moan leaving my throat. Colby continues to hold my hands, the other now at my waist, his face buried on the curve of my neck.

-Harder... -I plead, his head tilting so he could see me, a smirk on his lips.

-Yeah? Want me to be rough with you? Fuck you dumb? -His thrusts were faster and harder now, with each thrust he'd get balls deep into me, hitting all the right places.

-Please, please, fuck, Colby. -I cry out as he lets out a cocky laugh.

I didn't even tried to keep my moans low and quiet, they already came out loud and frequent, some curses and pleading being constant acts at this point.

The phrases I never thought I would hear coming from him, and from me to him, were the touches of reality that showed me that it was real, it was happening, I was enjoying it, and that, for some reason, my best friend was making me feel more pleasure than my ex made me feel in all the months we were together.

My fingernails had left marks on his back, but he didn't seem to care.

-Turn around. -He groans, pulling out and turning my body so I was in all fours.

I didn't even had a chance to speak before he was burying his dick inside of me once more, the new position making me feel him even deeper than before. Tears were already starting to form on my eyes.

He grabs my hair, keeping me up, leaning to whisper in my ears.

-Such a good girl for me, letting me fuck you like this.

I whine at his words, my legs shaking and another orgasm building up quickly in my stomach.

-Gonna cum for me again, pretty girl? —He asks, leaning down to kiss my shoulder.

I couldn't even speak at this point, so all I do is hum in affirmation, moans getting louder and louder.

-Hold it. —His demand was low and firm, and my eyes widen in surprise.

-C-Colby, fuck, can't, please, I need it so bad, please, please. —I look over my shoulder, catching his smirk before he pushed my head down onto the cushion and slapped my ass harshly.

-Cum with me, baby.

He slaps my ass one last time and my orgasm snaps, making me release all over his dick with a loud moan of his name. I feel him pulling away and shooting his load on my back, making me whine.

×××

We were already both lying down, next to each other, recovering the air and energy we had expended in the last few minutes, in silence, which was only broken by my laughter.

-I can't believe we did that.

He laughs along with me, shaking his head in denial and sitting up. Colby picked up all of our clothes on the floor, and handed me mine carefully, helping me up next.

-Wanna take a shower? —He asks, with caution in his voice like he wanted to proceed carefully from now on.

I nod my head, and he helped all the way through. The affection he showed was genuine, and I appreciated that very much, especially now.

After we are properly cleaned and in comfortable clothes, we lie down on his bed and he pulls me closer. I put an arm and a leg around his body, getting comfortable, and he wraps his arm around me, hugging me back. I rest my head on his shoulder, feeling his hand playing with my hair.

We stayed like this, no need to talk about what happened, just enjoying each other's company, until Sam arrived. I had to say, once again, the story of my breakup, but I didn't feel so sad to tell it anymore. Not while Colby held my hand and listened to everything intently, giving me the assurance that he would be there whenever I needed him.

a/n: I'm not sure how to feel about this one 😭

[luxsky]

Kicking out

Rhysand x reader

Summary: Reader tries to have a peaceful day without their partner hovering with overprotection, but destiny has other plans.

Warnings: Pregnancy, mentions of body aches, Rhysand being an overly protective rooster. Ignore any biological errors; I've never been pregnant and have no background in any health-related field, so everything here is either from my imagination or a quick Google search.

Autor's Note: This is my first time posting here, and I'm anxious and very, very nervous (especially because it's the first time I've written in a long time). I don't know if I like this or not, but this idea has been lingering in my head for days. Maybe I'll do a part two, but I'm not sure. Please, I welcome any kind of feedback here! (but be careful with how you say it). I apologize if the grammar is... bad? English is not my first language, and I'm not fluent (much of this had help from AI for translation, so if something doesn't make sense or is placed incorrectly, please let me know so I can correct it).

It's the beginning of fall, all you wanted to do was sit on the expensive and cozy sofa decorating the House of Wind and read a soft and cliché romance book while sipping on a cup of hot coffee. Except, you couldn't consume caffeine for the sake of the baby growing in your belly. Still, you had the option to sit and read a book, but your large and exuberant belly prevented you from sitting comfortably for too long. Well, nothing a few pillows and a blanket couldn't solve. Okay then, you didn't have coffee or a comfortable position, but you could still read your book, right?

Well, no, you've been trying to do that since the early afternoon when you sent Rhysand to his office, asking him to work a bit in his own court instead of watching over you. In fact, he had been a mother hen since the beginning of the pregnancy, and that was just one of the excuses you gave to get rid of his overprotectiveness. But it was becoming a challenging mission to concentrate on reading. You're nearing the end of your pregnancy, which is exciting in part, with the anticipation of meeting your little one consuming you, but the discomfort of carrying a baby constantly kicking your ribs has proven quite persistent.

It's been more than five minutes since you were stuck on the same page, reading and rereading but unable to focus on the book, back pain and intermittent cramps stealing all your concentration. You were used to a slight discomfort in your back since the beginning of the second trimester, but today, in particular, it was more of a significant and noticeable discomfort. You sighed in frustration and decided that maybe eating something would help. Putting the book aside, you remove the blanket from over you and swing your legs out of the sofa, prepared for the struggle it would be to get up. Normally, Rhys would help you, but if he left the office long enough to realize something was bothering you, he would spend the rest of the day hovering over you, worried and concerned.

Breathless and almost sweating, you managed to get up. At this point, the only clothes that fit you were light fabric dresses, or what you were currently wearing: one of Rhys's sweatpants and a sweater stolen from his closet. Your partner started sharing half of his wardrobe when your beautiful, stylish, and beloved clothes no longer fit you—you cried for a whole hour after trying to put on one of your favorite pants, and Rhys almost cried too, not knowing how to comfort you.

Walking towards the kitchen, you almost laughed, remembering the various times when hormones provided you with uncontrollable tears and frightened your partner. In those moments, you felt slightly vindicated by his insistence on being present for every breath you took. It's not that you didn't love your partner and appreciate his concern; it's just that he didn't know how to balance it at certain times. As soon as you told him you were pregnant, he became an overprotective mother hen full-time, and it suffocated you a bit. Of course, you talked about it, and he promised to control himself, but if you made a different move, he was already on top of you, asking what was wrong and insisting that you needed to stay in bed.

Reaching the kitchen, you pause for a moment to catch your breath and lean your hands on your back while deciding what to eat. God, this belly was weighing more than usual. Deciding to make a big, hearty sandwich, you start gathering all the necessary ingredients from the cabinets and placing them on the counter.

You feel your partner gently pulling that thread connecting you two, and the next moment, he's entering the kitchen, a furrow between his eyebrows indicating that he's thinking, and the slight contraction in his mouth tells you he's worried. "Darling, you should be resting."

You roll your eyes and let a faint smile form on your lips as you reply, "I was resting, but then I got bored." You lean against the counter for a minute, then turn to grab a knife to cut the tomatoes. When you turn again, Rhys is in front of you, reaching out towards you and taking the knife. "If you wanted something to eat, you just had to ask." You pout at him, but he ignores it and turns to the counter, starting to cut the tomatoes. "I just wanted to do something for myself; you don't let me touch anything since you found out I'm pregnant."

You're beside him, staring at the tomatoes he cut, waiting for a response. He turns his face to you and plants a quick kiss on your forehead, grabbing the bread and saying, "Because the only thing I'll let my partner do while she's pregnant is to make this baby. That's consuming enough energy, and I don't want you to tire yourself out."

"Well, your partner may be making a baby, but she assures you she has enough energy to make her own sandwich."

He raises an eyebrow, and a shit-eating grin forms on his lips. Like she had enough energy to organize the baby's clothes last night? His voice fills your mind, the thread connecting you two vibrating with his amusement. Bastard.

I only slept because you decided to intervene and didn't let me do anything else.

"Darling, I only intervened because you were asleep." He starts putting each ingredient on the bread, and you decide to sit — not because you're tired, obviously — in front of him. You go around the counter as you respond, "Well, I don't remember... Argh." The sudden pain reverberating in your back and cramping that comes and goes cut your speech in half. Damn, you really hoped it wouldn't happen now.

Rhys is in front of you before you can even move, one hand on your belly and the other gently placed on your face, guiding your eyes to meet his. "What's wrong? Is it you? The baby? Panic fills his voice and shines in his beloved violet eyes. His mouth has that contraction again.

The only response you give is a negative nod, trying to catch your breath as the pain passes. He continues with his hands on you and doesn't seem satisfied with your non-verbal answer. I'm fine, the baby is fine. It must have been just another kick in my rib.

His right hand holds the one he placed on your face, and his lips try to form a reassuring smile, which is probably just a funny grimace at the moment. He kisses your forehead, and there's still concern on his face when he pulls away just enough to put both hands on your belly. His gaze alternates between your face and your belly; he still seems reluctant, so he asks again, "Are you sure? I can call Madja just to check, and..."

''Shh." You interrupt him, placing a finger on his lips. Your gaze softened, and now you're the one placing both hands on your partner's face, your thumb stroking his cheek." I said we're fine; it's nothing serious. The baby has been restless all day."

That seems to convince him enough because he agrees and holds your hands, bringing his face closer to yours and planting a gentle kiss on your lips. You pull away after a moment, this time with a complete smile when you playfully say, "Now, go finish my sandwich, or else this baby will start kicking for food." Rhysand laughs with your remark and turns to the counter, finishing your sandwich.

He starts putting away the ingredients again after placing the plate in front of you. "Why didn't you tell me you were in pain? We could have asked Madja for something." He finishes putting away the last ingredient and turns to you again, only the counter separating him as he watches you take the first bite of the sandwich.

"Oh God, this is so good." You ignore his statement, too focused on savoring what might be the best sandwich of your life. He accepts your lack of response with a soft laugh and turns to the cabinets to grab a glass. "Do you want some juice?" you mumble a yes, with your mouth full of the sandwich, and wait for him to fill the glass. He has his back to you while rummaging through the cabinets.

Splash.

"What kind of juice do you want, dear? Because I think we only have orange or grape, but I can ask the House to make some other flavor." He turns to you, waiting for a response, but his face transforms when he sees your expression. "What? Is something wrong?"

Oh, well, this is going to be funny. You finish swallowing the sandwich, trying to formulate a word. He stays where he is, waiting for your response, frozen. But it's your next words that make him run towards you.

"I think my water just broke."

Another pang erupts in your back, and you realize that maybe it wasn't the baby that was restless. It was contractions.

And this baby is about to kick its way out of your belly.

[grnpurplgrmln]

with this new version of bluza that we got, i feel like i have to talk about the lyric "da se nagledam lepote te" (and also maybe the entirety of the last verse bc it drives me crazy)

for starters, it is such a romantic lyric i CANNOT get over it

no english translation can do it justice, the closest i can think of off the top of my head is "so i can soak up that beauty", but even that's not quite right

nagledati is a very specific type of verb (idk what the actual name for it would be cause i don't think it's a svršeni verb?? could be wrong idk grammar was never my strong suit)

it comes from the verb gledati (to look) and the prefix na-

the prefix na- gives it a sort of full quality. najesti (na- + jesti (to eat)) would mean that you've eaten so much that you're now full and can't eat anymore. nahodati (na- + hodati (to walk)) would mean that you've walked so much that you're now tired and can't walk anymore etc etc.

now, nagledati, in the context of looking at the person you're in love with, specifically their beauty AND the additional context that you're going to have to be away from them, for an undetermined amount of time?

looking at your lover so closely and so focused, so you can remember their every wrinkle, every blemish, every freckle, every twinkle in their eyes as they stare at you with the same love you feel for them, just in case you start to miss them, because you know you will, your heart would never let you fool yourself into thinking otherwise?

devastating, i want more of it

as i've stated earlier, this whole ending verse just trips me up so bad, in the best way possible

"ne palite još svetla" "don't turn on the lights yet"

"još samo jedan tren" "just one more moment"

"da se nagledam lepote te" "so i can really take in that beauty"

"ne palite još svetla" "don't turn on the lights yet"

"ne prizivajte dan" "don't summon the day"

"spasite me, smislite neki plan" "save me, think up some plan"

"ako svane sunce" "if the sun rises"

"ostat ću sam" "i'll be left alone"

it's so tragically romantic that it makes my heart break.

one thing i noticed here though, are the lyrics "ne palite još svetla" and "spasite me, smislite neki plan" mostly because they're in plural

now, i think it's probably just because that's the closest serbian has to gender neutral pronouns*, but i also think it's interesting to think of bojan, as the "protagonist" of the song, pleading the world to stop so he could get more time with his lover, a moment of selfishness

and the way the rest of the song sets up this almost domestic feeling "soba nam je mala"/"our room is small", which could also be translated to "the room is too small for us" as in "this room is far too small for our love, to handle us"

and i just... how can you not love this song...

additional notes:

* i'm an idiot, i just remembered that singular imperative exists and is also gender neutral so the lyric could have been "spasi me, smisli neki plan" but it's not so the whole protagonist talking to the world stuff might have been the intended purpose

[httplilyyy]

𝐒𝐄𝐂𝐎𝐍𝐃 𝐁𝐄𝐒𝐓 || 𝐀𝐋𝐄𝐗𝐈𝐀 𝐏𝐔𝐓𝐄𝐋𝐋𝐀𝐒

pairing: alexia putellas x reader

summary: you were always second best but maybe this one time you’d be first.

warnings: like one swear word, angst, fluff & slight smut

word count: 3.6k

a/n: i was watching friends whilst making this, hence your ‘best friend’ being called rachel.

woso masterlist request

You were used to being second best in everything. The league, the ballon d'or and now the world cup. But you had just transferred to Barcelona so you hoped that would all change.

Another English prospect joining Barcelona caused a lot of media to be focused on you throughout the world cup. Especially during the last game where you’d be playing against your future teammates.

But what the media didn’t know was that you were quite close with their star player. Alexia Putellas. Although you used to play in the WSL, you had met one night in Ibiza and immediately hit it off.

There was a slight problem, however, you had fallen for her and so had your best friend.

Your best friend, Rachel, had met Alexia one day by coming over to yours unexpectedly.

You knew of her crush on Alexia and you did everything in your power to stop yourself from falling too, but it was pointless. You were already in too deep and you feared there was no way out.

What you also knew was how Alexia would never feel the same way about you. So you let your feelings be buried deep inside whilst you tried to put on your best brave face and be a wingwoman for your best friend.

It was currently the first training back from the world cup and you had just pulled your car into park. Rachel sat beside you, sporting the Barcelona gear, fiddling with the hem of her top.

“You’re going to be fine, I promise.” You smiled, giving her hand a squeeze before getting out of the car.

“But what if I make a fool of myself, I hardly know any Spanish.” They replied, getting out themselves.

“Use google translate.” You shrugged with a teasing grin, getting your kit back out of the boot before making your way into the building.

“You’re an ass.” Rachel muttered, jogging to catch up with you.

“I know, you love it though.” You chuckled, nudging her with your elbow.

“I like someone else's.” Rachel whispered, watching as Alexia walked a few paces ahead.

“Uh huh.” You murmured, feeling jealousy begin to bubble in your stomach. “So I'll see you after training?”

“Wait what?” Rachel questioned, seeing as you skipped off in front and joined up with Alexia. “Y/n!”

She could hear your laugh bouncing off the walls as you turned a corner and left to the pitch with Alexia.

Although it was the first session back since the world cup, it was not an easy one. With the blistering heat beaming down on you it made the drills just a little bit more harder.

You caught yourself staring at Alexia throughout the day, going from little glances when she wasn't looking to blown out stares. You cursed yourself every time for looking at her that way but you just couldn't help it.

It had gotten to the end of the session when a mini game was formed, unfortunately, Alexia wasn’t on your team. After half an hour of an intense game, your team came up short.

A lucky goal scored by Patri secured the win for the other team and although it was only a game for fun. You couldn't help but feel a little down, but this was what you were used to, being second best.

You took your bib off and made your way to get a drink. Sitting alone, you finally let yourself calm down. But that didn't last very long when a shadow appeared in front of you.

“There’s my runner up.” Alexia teased, squirting some water in her mouth as she looked down at you.

“Ha ha, very funny Ale.” You huffed, a smile escaping your lips.

“I was hoping we would be paired up together today.” Alexia sighed, sitting beside you, her leg bumping yours causing goosebumps to erupt all over your body.

“Oh really? You like me that much, do you?” You chuckled, leaning back on your arms and looking up at the sky.

“You have no idea.” Alexia whispered but it fell deaf on your ears.

Someone else walked up to the two of you, causing you to look away from the sky. Rachel appeared in front of you both, an apologetic smile on her face.

“Oh, hey Rach.” You smiled, standing up from your position.

“Hey, you two.” Rachel replied, but she didn’t look at you, so focused on Alexia, watching how the muscles in her arms tensed as she pushed herself up and off the floor - not that you noticed.

“How’s the first day as a physio been?” You asked, hoping to gain her attention but it was futile.

“It’s been great.” Rachel grinned, still not looking at you.

“So what brings you over here?” You questioned, using the bottom of your top to wipe away the sweat on your face.

“I’m here for Alexia, actually.” Rachel said, looking at the midfielder with a certain glint in her eye.

Whilst you wiped your face, you didn’t notice how Alexia wasn't focused on Rachel at all but she was looking at you and more specifically, your abs that glistened in the sunlight.

“Huh, I'll leave you two to it then.” You smiled, sending a wink to your best friend and walking away, trying to ignore how your heart panged with each step.

After you left the two there wasn't much else for you to do. So you headed for the showers to change out of your sweaty gear.

Some of the other girls were already in there but they soon left, leaving the showers to yourself. You didn’t want to spend too long, not wanting to keep Rachel waiting after she had finished with Alexia.

Stepping out of the showers, your body wrapped in a towel, you quickly walked to your kit bag to get changed.

You were about to unravel your towel when you heard someone cough from behind you. Turning around in one quick motion, you nearly gave yourself whiplash at the speed, you were met by a certain midfielder.

“Jesus, Ale.” You sighed, hand placed over your heart. “I thought you were with Rachel?”

“She just wanted to do a quick check up on my knee.” Alexia shrugged, taking a step towards you.

“Right,” you mumbled with a slow nod before turning back around to your bag. “We’re uh, actually going out for some coffee, or something, tomorrow and you should come.”

“For coffee or something?” Alexia teased, moving so she sat next to your bag.

“I mean, you don't have to come.” You replied, raising an eyebrow.

“No, no, I didn’t say that.” Alexia rushed out, her hands finding your waist.

You didn’t say anything, looking down at the midfielder, waiting to see if she realised what she had done. It took a few moments but she got there and removed her hands from your waist in record time.

“Lo siento. I didn’t-”

“It’s fine, Ale.” You chuckled, placing a hand on her shoulder and giving it a squeeze. “But I do need you to leave so I can get changed.”

“Oh! Right, well, I'll see you tomorrow?” Alexia said, the tips of her ears burning.

“I’ll send you the details. Now go you perv!” You smiled, chuckling as Alexia’s eyes widened before she ran out.

You shook your head, a smile forming on your lips at the woman but it quickly disappeared, remembering that you shouldn't be feeling that way about her.

Scolding yourself, you quickly got changed, packed your bags and made your way back to your car where Rachel was waiting for you. She sent a smile your way but you ignored it, rushing to put your bags in the car.

“You okay?” Rachel asked, raising an eyebrow at your actions.

“What? Yeah, yeah I'm fine.” You replied, getting into the driver's seat.

“You sure?” She questioned, getting into the car herself.

“Mhm.” You hummed, starting the car and reversing out of your spot. “Oh, before I forget, I invited Alexia to our little coffee thing tomorrow.”

“You what?!” Rachel exclaimed, making you turn your head to her for a split second before focusing back on driving.

“What? You like her, no?” You wondered, grip tightening a little on the steering wheel.

“Of course I do, I think the only person who doesnt is Alexia.” Rachel huffed, playing with her fingers.

“See, I'm helping you out.” You shrugged with a grin.

“And how are you helping me out exactly?”

“By being a wingwoman.”

“Brilliant.” Rachel muttered sarcastically causing you to lightly punch her arm.

“You’ll thank me when you’re married.”

“Yeah, yeah, whatever.”

The rest of the drive back to Rachel’s apartment was in silence, a comfortable silence, but you could feel a little tension though you weren’t sure what why. Pulling up in front of her place, she thanked you before walking into her building.

Sighing to yourself, you drove back to your house. Parking your car, you sat in your driveway, occasionally looking towards your phone before you decided to pick it up and message Alexia the address of the coffee shop.

Ale

Ah, so that’s where I'm meeting you tomorrow. I thought you’d forgotten about me

You

Why’s that? You know I could never

Ale

Took you an hour to message me the address

You

I had to take Rach home

Ale

Mhm, not second guessing inviting me were you?

You

Why would I do that?

Ale

No idea

You

Okay, good night Ale

Ale

Wait, what time do I have to be there for?

You

11?

Ale

Okay, I’ll see you then

You

Buenas noches, ale

Ale

Sleep well, Y/n

Turning your phone off, you let out a breath you didn't know you were holding and resting your head on the headrest, staring out in front of you.

Finally deciding to move, you grabbed your bag from the backseat and made your way into your house. You left your kit bag by the front door and slumped your way upstairs and into your room.

Quickly changing into your pyjamas, you did your nightly routine and went straight to sleep, not bothering to charge your phone and as soon as your head hit the pillow, you were out like a light.

You woke up to the morning light beaming onto your face, mentally cursing yourself for not shutting the blinds the night before. You rolled over, checking your phone for the time only to realise it was dead.

Groaning you plugged your phone in and got ready for the day. Finally getting dressed, you checked your phone once again, nearly screaming into the air as you realised the time was 10:58am.

Running around your house to find your shoes, you slipped them on before tumbling through the front door and into your car.

Driving a little over the speed limit, you managed to get to the coffee shop in record time. Finding somewhere to park, however, was another story. By the time you made it into the shop it was 11:24.

“Look who's finally decided to show up.” You heard from the side of you.

“I forgot to charge my phone.” You muttered, rubbing the back of your neck as you turned to see Rachel and Alexia sitting at a table together.

“Of course you did.” Alexia said, smiling behind her cup as she brought it to her lips to take a sip.

“Let me go order and I'll be right back.” You said sheepishly, before walking off.

You could hear a chuckle from behind you but you paid no attention to it. Ordering your favourite, you were back at the table in record time, thankful that the line wasn’t too long.

The three of you talked about anything and everything, you occasionally slipping out of the conversation to let Rachel talk to Alexia by herself.

Scrolling on your phone, you only looked up when a hand waved in front of your face. Seeing it was only you and Alexia at the table, you tilted your head confused.

“She went to the toilet.” Alexia said, knowing what you were wondering.

“Ah,” you said, nodding in understanding, “you okay?”

“I’m fine, you?” Alexia smiled.

“Good.”

“Are you doing anything later?” Alexia asked, her fingers tapping on the table.

“No, nothing really.” You replied, straightening your posture.

“Do you want to do something together?”

“Like what?” You wondered, resting your head on your hand.

“Not sure, maybe a movie?”

“Yeah, okay. Do you want to come round mine, or we could go out?”

“I’ll come to yours, if that’s okay. Then it could be just the two of us.”

“That’s fine.” You smiled, internally beaming. “It’s a date.”

Unbeknownst to you, your words caused butterflies to erupt in Alexia's stomach. Although you meant nothing by what you said, Alexia couldn’t help but feel a little hope.

“Hey, what have I missed?” Rachel questioned as she sat back down in her seat.

“Nothing, just talking about football.” Alexia replied, sending a small yet discrete smile in your direction.

“Boring.” Rachel huffed, leaning back on her chair. “I was hoping you’d be talking about me.”

Before you could stop yourself, a cough made its way up your throat, quickly covering it up with a smile.

“What’s so funny, y/n?” Rachel asked, tilting her head towards you.

“Wha- nothing. I promise.”

“Mhm, I better get going anyway.” Rachel smiled, standing up from her seat.

“Same here.” Alexia said, standing up as well.

“I guess that means me too.” You joked, getting up yourself.

“I’ll see you both soon.” Rachel said, giving the two of you hugs, Alexia’s lasting a little longer than yours.

“See you.” You smiled, fishing your car keys from your pocket.

After Rachel walked off to her car, you were left with Alexia. You stood beside the midfielder not knowing what to say, rocking backwards and forwards on your feet.

“What time do you want me to come over?” Alexia questioned, turning to face you.

“Any time, I don’t mind. I've just got to clean up a few bits.”

“Okay, how does six sound?”

“Good, yeah, I'll see you then.”

“See you later.” Alexia said, giving you a quick hug and a small kiss on your cheek before walking off.

Blushing profusely, you got to your car, quickly driving home. You went from cleaning the living room to cleaning the whole house, scared that even a miniscule thing could put Alexia off.

Going all out with the snacks, opting to place a variety on the coffee table as well as drinks, you felt that everything was okay, or at least, you hoped it was. Opening netflix on your tv you waited for Alexia.

You didn’t have to wait long and before you knew it, the doorbell rang, indicating that Alexia was here. You felt your heart rate increase knowing that you’d finally be spending some time with her alone.

In a friendly way, of course. Right?

Shaking your head, you scrambled yourself off the sofa, remembering that Alexia was waiting outside your door.

Opening the door to the catalonian, you smiled, noticing that she had changed her outfit from earlier on, opting for something more comfortable.

You opened the door wider, ushering her in and closing it behind her. The midfielder waited for you in the hallway, letting you guide her into your living room.

The two of you sat down on your sofa, a small gap between you as you played a random movie that was recommended to you by one of the girls from barca.

“You really went all out with the snacks.” Alexia chuckled, making herself comfortable, resting an arm over the back of the sofa.

“I couldn’t choose.” You mumbled with a shrug, leaning forward to pick up some crisps. “Want some?”

“These are my favourite, how’d you know?” Alexia questioned, taking a couple from the bowl.

“I had a hunch.”

“Oh really? Okay then.” Alexia said teasingly, moving a little closer to you, your thighs only mere inches apart from each other.

“Just watch the movie.” You said, huffing out a laugh and taking one of the crisps from her hand before popping it into your mouth.

“Hey! You have a whole bowl.” Alexia complained, slapping your arm and shaking her head at your antics.

“Sorry.” You replied with a grin, turning your attention back to the movie playing.

Alexia, however, kept her gaze on you. Long forgetting the movie, she watched every little thing you did, the way your eyes would widen at something one of the actors said or how you’d smile at the jokes.

You hadn’t noticed her gaze on you, completely focused on the movie and you were really enjoying it, until a sex scene came up. Shifting in your spot, Alexia noticed your discomfort.

She turned towards the tv and saw what was playing, lewd moans came from the speakers and it was as if the two of you were watching soft porn.

“You alright, y/n?” Alexia questioned, a small smirk displayed on her features.

“Mhm,” you hummed, eyes widening at the screen, “they’re really going at it, jesus.”

“Jealous?” She teased.

“What? No!” You exclaimed, turning your body towards the midfielder.

Only then did you realise the close proximity of the two of you. You could feel Alexia’s breath on your lips, her eyes staring into yours and your heart felt like it was going to beat out of your chest.

“You sure you’re okay?” Alexia asked again, this time a little quieter.

“Yeah, I’m just-”

“Turned on?”

You paused, contemplating your next words.

“Yeah.” You whispered, looking down at Alexia’s lips before trailing them back up to her eyes.

“Lean back.” Alexia ordered softly, pushing you gently against the sofa.

Your back hit the cushions, your head resting against the armrest. Alexia smiled, moving to hover over you. Her hair created curtains, blocking out the rest of the world as she looked deeply into your eyes.

“Is this okay?” She asked quietly, her lips hovering over yours. You nodded, not trusting your voice. “I need words, cariño.”

“Yes,” you whispered, “this is very much okay.”

“Then can I kiss you?”

“Yes.”

You barely got to finish the word before her lips were on yours. Desperate and hungry. A silent understanding of how long the two of you had been wanting this.

As much as you were loving every second, your mind couldn't help but wander back to Rachel. Kissing Alexia didn't feel wrong, it was perfect, but you had a deep nagging feeling that you were betraying your best friend.

“Ale, I- I can’t-” You mumbled between kisses, but still pulled her in for more.

“Why not.” Alexia questioned, swiping her tongue against your bottom lip.

“What about Rachel?”

“What about Rachel? I don’t want her, I want you.” Alexia said, pushing her knee between your thighs causing you to involuntary roll your body.

“Shit, I-”

“Y/n?” A voice called out and you immediately stopped what you were doing. “What- Wow, unbelievable.”

“Wait no. Rach!” You said, pushing Alexia off your body.

“How’d she get in?” Alexia questioned, creating a little space between the two of you.

“I gave her a key, not important right now.” You said, waving Alexia off.

“I can’t believe you.” Rachel muttered, throwing her hands up in the air.

“I-” You started but Aleia cut in.

“Why are you acting like this? It’s not like you liked me?” Alexia questioned, confused at your best friend and ignoring you slap her arm in an attempt to get her to stop talking.

“You know what, you both deserve each other.” Rachel shouted, scoffing before storming out of your house.

“Rachel!” You said, chasing after her, leaving Alexia alone and confused on the sofa.

“Save it, y/l/n, I don't want to hear what excuse you come up with!”

“I’m sorry, I didn’t want you to see that.”

“Real classy, Y/n.” Rachel scoffed, shaking her head as she came to a stop on your driveway, finally turning to face you.

“No I didn’t mean it like that-”

“How did you mean it then, huh? You knew how much I liked her! You knew, and you go behind my back and do that, what a friend you are.”

“No, Rach. C’mon, please.” You pleaded, desperately trying to get her to listen to you

“No! You know what, we’re done. Don’t talk to me again.” Rachel said, pointing a finger at you.

You watched as she shook with anger and sadness, before she let out a sob and turned to run away again. This time you didn’t follow her, lowering your head in sorrow.

Walking back to your house, you stumbled into the living room, seeing Alexia still sitting on the sofa, looking down in her lap, fiddling with her hands.

“Hey! Y/n, what just happened?” Alexia questioned, standing up as she heard your footsteps get closer.

“I uh- I can’t do this Alexia.” You mumbled, tears brimming your eyes as you looked to the floor, folding your arms in front of your chest.

“Do what? Us? What do you mean?” Alexia wondered, walking closer to you, your bodies just inches away from each other.

She took your hands in hers, her fingers tracing delicate patterns. You felt yourself grow weak at the knees but suddenly pulled away from her hold.

“I just can’t, I'm sorry.” You said, ferociously wiping away a tear that fell before walking away.

“Y/n!” Alexia said, her voice breaking as she followed you through the house. Watching as you got in your car, seeing it pull off the driveway and disappear around the corner.

You were finally first, the girl shared the same feelings, yet you still managed to throw that away. Maybe you should stick to what you know. Being second best.

[lilibrownlabonita]

Last nigth- Old Logan Howlett x reader

Summary: Logan needs to take three would-be bridesmaids and a bride to a bachelorette party.

Warning: oral (woman receiving), vaginal penetration, infidelity, casual sex and no commitment (notice for those excited, like me).

Rating: +18

Work count: probably more than 13k characters.

A/n: I'm rusty since I haven't written in months, and I used the translator, since English is not my native language, sorry for any spelling mistakes.

That night was cold and it froze Logan's tired body. It's the last race, he mentally repeated to himself, one more trip and he could go home.

The car stopped in front of a large house and then four young women appeared, well dressed and made up, among them a bride, or at least one wearing a wedding dress. Logan snorted, wondering who had come up with the idea of getting married on such a cold night, but that was none of his business, on the bright side, they had paid him well. The four young women fell silent and decided on a destination. Logan nodded without saying anything and started driving, the passengers generally not wanting to talk to him.

During the journey, he listened to the little plans they had made for the evening, and it wasn't an evening wedding as he had initially thought, it was a bachelorette party. How times have changed, he thought. He watched the four of them laugh and start to drink the sparkling wine they had brought in their bags, at least they had asked if they could drink it in their car before opening the bottles. What he hadn't expected was that two sparkling wines could intoxicate four people so quickly. He allowed himself to laugh as he saw, through the rear-view mirror, the bride babbling and giggling with complete nonchalance.

They were only a few minutes away from their chosen destination, a nightclub that apparently only welcomed women. As Logan told them they were nearing the venue, he heard one of the supposed fiancée's friends question how they were going to get home, as they were probably too drunk to find a driver. He looked in the rearview mirror again and saw that bride looking back at him.

"Can you wait for us for a few hours? We can pay for the ride back to the same place we left from and also for the wait." The bride said as she stared at him through the rearview mirror.

He didn't want to keep driving for the rest of the night and needed to get some rest. They might have been drunk, but they didn't seem to be as much of a problem as the drunken men he encountered in the early hours of the morning when he needed to drive longer to reach the day's goal.

"All right, I'll wait outside, when you've finished I'll take you back."

He parked the car in front of the nightclub and watched as the four women got out, laughing and tripping over their own feet. The bride got out of the car last with the help of one of her friends and probably her godmother. When he realized that they had entered the nightclub, he snuggled into the back seat, closed his eyes and tried to sleep. Over time, his body could no longer cope with long hours without sleep, he felt more and more tired and took every minute to rest.

Minutes passed and Logan couldn't sleep, he sat up and wiped his hands across his face. Maybe he should have a smoke. With a cheap cigar in his hand, he got out of the car and lit it.

Logan could see the movement inside the nightclub through the glass windows, bright colored lights, loud music probably composed by Britney Spears, half-naked men on a small stage and women dancing around. He wasn't supposed to, it wasn't part of his job to be the bouncer, but he looked for the bride with his gaze and couldn't find her.

Several more minutes passed and the bride came out of the nightclub, her long dress swaying with every step, her small veil just covering her hair, which was loose and decorated with a few small flowers, maybe clips or something, Logan thought.

"Is your party over?"

"No, I just wanted to get some fresh air." The bride said, approaching the car where Logan was leaning against.

"I can put out my cigar if you like."

"You don't have to do that, actually, I'd like to have a smoke, do you have another one?"

She didn't seem to be the type who liked cigars, not that Logan thought women shouldn't smoke, he'd had his share of cigarettes for a lifetime, he wasn't anyone to tell her what she could or couldn't do, but it surprised him that someone like her smoked.

"Are you sure? You don't look like you could stand a bit of sparkling wine, I don't want to make you sick with a cigar."

"Don't be silly, it's just a cigar, by the way, I'm not resistant to alcohol because I'm not used to drinking."

"Got it."

Silence fell between them, Logan didn't seem convinced, the woman stared at him, but he didn't seem to care.

"Please...?"

"I don't have another cigar." He lied.

"Well, then I can smoke some of yours."

"You're not going to smoke my cigar."

"Why?"

Logan snorted and stared at her.

"Are you always so grumpy?"

"I'm not a grouch."

"Well, you seem to be, you're also very quiet."

"Passengers don't usually want to talk."

"But I do."

"Why?"

"I don't have much to do right now, my bridesmaids are having fun and I don't want to get in the way, all I can do is stay here."

"You can go back to your bachelorette party and stay there."

"I don't want to go back into that club, I don't like the noise."

"Then why did you decide to have a bachelorette party?"

"It wasn't my idea, my friends thought it would be fun and I just agreed."

Again, they both fell silent.

A strong wind hit them and the bride tried to cover herself with her arms, her long dress swayed and she grimaced as she felt the cold.

Logan stretched out his hand and offered her his cigar, he didn't look at her.

"Have a smoke, it'll warm you up."

Without question, she took the cigar and puffed. Looking around, she wondered why she had agreed to be there.

"When will it be?"

"What?"

"Your wedding, when is it happening?"

"In a few days, two nights to be exact."

She approached and tried to return the cigar, but he denied it.

"No, throw it away, get in the car if you want, the wind might give you the flu."

The bride threw the cigar on the ground and stomped on it with her golden heels, opened the car door and got in.

"Aren't you getting in with me?" She asked when she saw Logan closing the door.

"No, I'm fine out here."

"You're lying, you're probably more likely to get sick than I am."

Logan glared at her through the glass.

"Why?"

"Because you're old."

"No, I'm not." He knew he was, but he didn't want her to think he was that old.

"I didn't mean to offend you, I just don't want you to get tired in the cold."

Grumpy, or at least pretending to be grumpy, Logan got into the car and sat down next to her.

"Do you think your friends will stay long?"

"Why? Do you want to get rid of me?"

"No, I just thought they'd notice you were gone and go back to the car."

"They're having too much fun to notice my absence."

Logan shut up and felt the fiancée's gaze on him. He tried to ignore her presence, tried to ignore the scent emanating from her body and pleasing his nostrils.

"Are you married?"

His eyes widened, married? Logan had never imagined himself married, least of all now.

"Why are you asking?"

"Curiosity."

"I'm not married."

"You didn't get married because you didn't want to or because you couldn't?"

"Maybe I'm too old for that."

"You're old, but you're handsome, I think someone would want to marry you."

He didn't know what to say, except to stay silent and wonder if he'd heard wrong or if she'd really called him handsome, cheeky girl, he thought.

"Sorry, did I make you shy?" She smiled.

He rolled his eyes at her and snorted, smiling that she was toying with him.

"Do you think I'm lying?"

"No." He lied.

"I can prove that I'm not lying if I want to." He's so petty, she told herself.

"You don't have to prove anything to me."

"But I want to."

"Well, how do you intend to do that?" He stared at her.

"Kiss me." She didn't know exactly why she wanted to kiss that stranger, maybe it was his bitter, sad face that attracted her, but either way, she certainly didn't care about the consequences, it was her bachelorette party.

If he was smoking, he'd probably choke on the smoke.

"What?" He stared at her.

"I said I want you to kiss me."

"No, not at all."

"Don't you think I'm pretty?" She said, resting her head on the bench and blinking her eyes at him.

"It's not that."

"So, what? Is it because I'm getting married?" She asked and saw him turning to her, so that was it, she thought.

"No, it's not that."

"Well, anyway, my fiancé doesn't care what I do if wants to know."

"Then why are you getting married?"

"Long story."

Maybe she didn't trust him enough to tell him her story with her future husband, but it didn't matter, he wanted to kiss that woman in her wedding dress, he needed to feel good, it had been a long time since he had felt someone else's skin against his, always having to look after Charles and his friend, there was no time left for himself.

"Are you going to kiss me or not?"

"Do you always look for unknown men to kiss?"

"Only when they're old and beautiful." She smiled, her red lipstick decorating her lips well, making them look so kissable.

"Besides, it's my bachelorette party, I think I deserve a kiss." She was right, so young, probably getting married and maintaining a married life for years just to please her family.

Logan didn't say anything, he just slowly approached the fiancée, her breath hitched against his skin and he finally pressed his lips against hers. The kiss was slow, but Logan didn't complain. It was nice to feel that time had stopped and that he didn't need to rush.

It took a few seconds for them to pull away, they both stared at each other, suddenly that chill disappeared, maybe it was because they were inside the car and all the car windows were locked or maybe it was because that kiss made them sweat and gasp.

"Do you want to kiss me again?" She asked as the two of them looked at each other as if they had been in love for years, as if he were her fiancé and this were their honeymoon. Of course not, but she liked to think and imagine that yes, that sad stranger was her future husband.

Logan just nodded and kissed her again. This time, he was more daring, more intense, he held her by the back of the neck so that she wouldn't run away from him, so that she would kiss him harder. Their tongues touched several times, and occasionally they let out little moans, as if they were having sex, even though they were both still fully clothed. That's it, Logan thought, they were still dressed.

"Let's stop here."

"Why?" she asked, blushing and with her red mouth stained by smeared lipstick, Logan didn't look at her.

"I don't want to cross the line."

The bride realized what he meant, smiled and moved closer to him, touched the stranger's tired, stiff shoulders and whispered in his ear.

"I want to fuck you in this car."

"You don't know what you're saying, you're drunk." He said, his voice thick and hoarse due to his dry throat, perhaps he was missing that woman's saliva.

"I'm not drunk, I've had nothing but those sparkling wines and I'm sure the little alcohol has already gone from my digestive system."

"You don't even know my name, you don't know me and you're getting married, I don't want you to regret what you're doing."

"I won't regret it, anyway, you don't have to care about that. Why don't you tell me your name and we'll kiss again?" He finally looked at her again, stared at her for a few seconds and sighed.

"Logan."

She smiled.

Soon he was on top of that fiancée again, his mouth pressed against hers, his rough, large hands gripping her waist tightly, as if at any moment she would escape.

In the midst of the kisses, she slowly pushed off her suit, then her shirt, and finally, with difficulty, her tank top. Logan mentally thanked the lack of lighting in the car, he didn't want to answer any questions about his bruises and cuts.

Need coursed through Logan's old veins, and despite his age, he still had a sharp nose. The smell of that fiancée's wet pussy was driving him crazy, his throat was dry again, he wanted to taste her wetness, before his cock burned with the amount of hot blood that centered on his cock. He stood up and helped her wrap her dress around her waist. The voluminous dress irritated him, but he couldn't deny how beautiful it looked on her. When Logan knelt down, he saw the sheen of moisture running down her thighs, a pity that the lack of lighting didn't let him see all of that pussy, and his vision wasn't the best.

He approached her thighs and kissed them, feeling her lubrication on his lips, he moaned and licked, every drop that ran down her crotch was consumed by Logan's tongue, when he was satisfied with his work he tried to catch the fiancée's gaze and faced her, his tongue slowly came out of his mouth and licked her wet pussy, he heard her moan and close her eyes tightly, her thighs tightened around his head, Logan moved his tongue up and down, trying to feel her pussy on his tongue, moaning and grunting he closed his lips around her small clit and sucked, the woman screamed and held Logan's grey tufts tightly pushing him against her pussy, he tried to memorize the image of that woman in his head, he knew he would hardly find anyone as beautiful as her now, he licked her again and kept the image of her biting her lower lip, his tongue positioned itself against her small wet hole and she looked at him and nodded repeatedly, Logan began to penetrate her pussy with his tongue, in, out, in, out, the bride whimpered and squirmed as she came.

She could see his gray beard wet as he stood up and approached to kiss her lips again. His nails lightly scratched the skin of her large back, and he hurried to undo his belt.

He didn't bother taking off his pants, just unzipped them and pulled his thick cock out of his underwear. Logan looked at her as he rubbed the tip of his cock against her wet pussy. Seeing her eyebrows draw together and her eyes close, he smiled and positioned his member against her wet hole. He felt that little hole sucking him in and moaned loudly as he pushed his entire length inside.

"Fuck, baby, you're going to kill me." He said as he felt his cock being squeezed hard by her.

The bride moaned and pushed her hips against Logan's, trying to feel him more deeply. He understood what she was trying to do and began to slowly thrust his hips against her, his cock entering her pussy and coming out wetter and wetter, the gray hairs on Logan's groin stained with her lubrication, a few seconds later he couldn't stand being so slow.

Logan's mind clouded over as he tried to concentrate on the speed of her hips, moving further and further away from consciousness and closer to the sensation that coursed through the veins of his cock and up into his brain. His breathing became shaky and the muffled smell of sex in the limousine made him lose control. His hips thrust harder against her pussy, soon the impact was no longer enough, he thrust his hips faster, she scratched him and moaned in his ear.

"Logan, Logan, Logan." She whimpered, spreading her legs as wide as she could.

Logan's eyes rolled back and closed, the only thing he could feel were nails in his back, his cock going in and out of that wet, hot hole, in, out, in, out, in... out..., the loud moans in his ear and the need to come inside that womb coursing through his veins. He knew he was close to cumming, and he felt that pussy squeezing him tighter and tighter, she was close too.

"Come for me, baby, squeeze my cock and come around it." He said, looking at her, who had a red face and mascara smeared around her eyes. The veil was still firmly in place in her hair, even though he was thrusting his cock hard enough to rock her body with every thrust.

"Come on, baby, get my cock wet, squeeze me hard... I'm close." Logan's voice sounded thicker and needier, the bride found it so exciting, an old man who was almost crying to have his cock squeezed.

"Will you come inside me? Please?" She moaned, she knew it would drive him crazy.

"Fuck yes, I'm going to come in that pussy, I'm going to fill you up, squeeze me tight, I know you want my cum, baby." He felt that at any moment his cock was going to explode inside that hot wetness, his balls were heavy and he needed to come inside her or he would go crazy, Logan pushed his member against her until he felt his balls slap against his fiancée's cute ass, he felt like he could die at any moment.

The two of them looked at each other and saw the lust in their eyes, they kissed and continued thrusting their hips against each other. The bride's legs trembled and wrapped around him, her pussy clenched around Logan's member and he felt her cum spreading over his member. Logan penetrated her with difficulty and emptied himself inside her, grunting in her ear.

Neither of them moved or said anything, they just snuggled with Logan inside, just a few minutes they both thought, they needed to get some rest.

Unfortunately, neither of them planned to sleep, but they both woke up to laughter outside the limousine, heels tapping with every step the three bridesmaids took and whispers about the bride's whereabouts.

During the journey home, neither the bride nor the driver looked at each other or said anything, nor did they comment on the smudged make-up or the suit that had only a white tank top underneath instead of a shirt. Luckily, the three bridesmaids were too drunk to notice the details.

When the car stopped in front of that house again, the bride and her friends got out of the car. The payment was made by one of the drunk women who also gave Logan a fat tip, he thanked her and drove away from the place. He knew it was nothing more than a bachelorette party, he was too old and had too complicated a life to offer that bride another ride.

[insolentgod]

⚠️Attention:⚠️ very long post. It talks a little about: state of lack, take your desire off the pedestal, time it takes for a manifestation, get distracted about your manifestation , self-concept, and Cassies

one more night high and having crazy epiphanies about manifestations. and another day using a translator to translate my text to post here, because I haven't claimed to be fluent in English yet 😛 So, as I always warn, if there are possible grammatical errors, it's for this reason.

I'm here to bring you an analogy I created while discussing with a friend haha. (Yes, this time there's nothing about lana del rey!)

you know those people who humiliate themselves for others? Who do everything for someone specific to love them, try to talk to them even if it's unhealthy, or beg them to stay in their lives. (yes, it's quite depressing and sad)

i haven't been like that much in life, usually when someone didn't care about me, i cared even less about them. but I won't lie, there have been situations where I may have humiliated myself a little, but it's human.

anyway, going straight to my analogy, let's imagine that you struggling to manifest something is a friend "Cassie," and the manifestation will be her ex-boyfriend, okay? (i swear it will make sense in the end)

what I write outside the parentheses is Cassie's situation, and what's inside the parentheses is possibly the situation you're going through on your manifestation journey.

okay, you have this friend Cassie who keeps saying that her ex-boyfriend doesn't care about her, doesn't respond to messages, and shows no signs, and she's going crazy and desperate about it (just like you when you see no progress in your manifestation). so she does EVERYTHING to get him back (just like you when you try multiple methods non-stop and feel needy). and as Cassie's friend, you think, "poor cassie, she doesn't deserve to suffer like this" (and she really doesn't deserve it, just as you don't deserve to suffer for your manifestations). there are also moments when she sends a message for you saying, "I'll forget him this time, I promise." but after two days, she's there messaging him again (just like you affirm on the first day all motivated and trying to convince yourself that this time your manifestation will come true, but after a few days, you see no progress and start panicking), and then she gets very sad because she thinks they will never get back together and she will never be happy with him again (just like you think you can't manifest anything, that the universe hates you, that you will never get what you want, that the loa doesn't work). But meanwhile, there are other people out there getting back with their exes and you admire them, wondering what it would be like if it were you... (just like when you look at other people's success stories and think "why can't I do it?") spoiler: You can do it too, honey. If everyone else can do it, so can you. Wake up.

If I were Cassie's friend, I would tell her to STOP acting like that and start valuing herself and just distract herself. because let's be honest, men ALWAYS come back, right? 🤣 and many people may disagree with me on this and think that if she doesn't chase after the guy, he won't come either. but that's how it works for me, even before I started using the law. every time I started valuing myself and stopped begging for others' love, the person came to me. so let's agree with my thinking on this, okay?

and one more point that I think is worth mentioning is that if Cassie really doesn't want to do this alone, maybe a manifestation coach would be a good idea (if it were a real situation, I would suggest her to seek a therapist). There are nuances about "manifestation coaches," I honestly don't use them and I recommend working on your self-concept. but it's an option if you want, but please do thorough research and find a trustworthy one.

returning, what can you do to not be another Cassie? I'm telling you to stop doing whatever you're doing to try to achieve your desire? no. just get out of the state of neediness and desperation, like a Cassie. you don't need that, my love. you don't need to worry, "Is my manifestation coming?" You don't need to use a thousand methods because you don't think it's enough. whatever you believe will bring your desires, will indeed bring your desire. If you believe that jumping three times, building a castle, and kicking an elderly person will give you what you want, guess what? If you do all that, then you will get what you desire. and if you believe that affirming once in your life will get you a beachfront mansion, guess what? you will achieve that.

so, to not be a Cassie:

1 - trust what you're saying, please trust yourself. nnow that ONLY WHAT YOU THINK is the truth, and it will be. (my last long post talks about this exactly, I highly recommend it, okay).

2 - take your desire off the pedestal. your desire may be your biggest dream in life, I don't care. take it off the pedestal. the powerful person who can have anything they want is YOU, not your desire. tou are a thousand times greater than your desire. you don't chase after your desire, your desire chases after you. you know when manifestation coaches tell you to start manifesting just a blue butterfly or a candy? well, it's because for you, that's not difficult. It's something you find easy to manifest and know it's totally possible to have. but you can literally manifest a Porsche at the same speed as manifesting an ice cream, okay? take your desire off the pedestal; you are fully capable of having it.

3 - get out of the state of lack. In the law of assumption, some people talk a lot about states and some manifest just by being in the state of the wish fulfilled and ready, they succeed. but the state of lack is literally when you feel the lack, the absence of your desire. you don't feel like you have it or you don't feel worthy of it, so you probably fall into a spiral of despair with millions of thoughts like "what will I do if I don't achieve it?" "I don't see any progress" "time is passing and I don't have my results". Anyway,

- But what do I do to heal my state of lack?

just don't be in it 💐💐💐 yes, it's easy, okay. please believe that it's easy and it will be. I know it's very easy to affirm when you're motivated, especially after reading a success story. but motivation doesn't last forever and I don't think it's healthy for you to keep restoring your motivation by reading success stories all the time. there's nothing wrong with it, but you don't need success stories to heal. every time you feel like you're entering the state of lack, start trusting yourself. when it happens to me, I start affirming "none of this, I have my desires" "I don't care about what my 3D shows me" "I have what I want", I also imagine myself with my desire as if I really have it now. I'll admit, there are times when I start affirming this to avoid entering the state of lack and at first it feels like I'm feeling wrong, the feeling of hopelessness even. but regardless of how I feel, I keep visualizing and eventually start feeling strong and motivated again. in those moments, you have to be strong and disciplined with yourself, okay? you can do it.

4 - try not to care about time or the 3D reality. i know it's difficult, but please live in your imagination and believe that if you have it in your imagination, you have it now. about time, it depends, okay? Some people manifest in seconds because they believe they can, while others manifest in weeks because they think it takes weeks. if you're the second type of person, you can definitely manifest in seconds if you allow yourself to do so. self-concept affirmations help a lot in this aspect. Just don't worry about time in the 3D reality. If you know that in your mind you have your desire NOW, then you have it now. once you're fully living in your imagination, it will come in the 3D reality. I know it's difficult, but just trust yourself and your mind. I promise that if you live 100% in your mind, your desire can come very quickly.

5 - distract yourself! don't spend the whole day thinking about your desire. usually, the desire comes when you accept that you have it and continue living your life. I know it's complicated, especially when it's something you want, but distract yourself to avoid excessive and negative thoughts about your manifestations. and please get off tumblr for a while

6 - improve your self-concept, please. Just do that, and your manifestation journey will be much easier.

I think that's it for today. I talked a lot as always 😛😛

I usually don't respond to people asking for help here on my blog (mainly because I don't receive any requests) but if you're having problems, you can send me a message, and I'll respond ❤‍🩹 I just want to help someone like loa bloggers helped me when I needed it. good night everyone, and stay hydrated.

[writingwisterias]

(I don't speak English, I trust Google Translate, please don't treat me badly like other writers 😔) Seeing that on your list, Piers and Jake are very empty, and I don't know if you can do this type of writing where each character reacts to X situation.

In this case I would like to know the reaction of Piers, Jake and Chris (Leon optional) if Reader gets her period in public, in case it is uncomfortable for you to write that, maybe a simple writing of the RE guys reacting reader snuggling tightly against them and hiding her face in the middle of their chest

If you don't know how to write everyone's reaction, I'm fine with just Chris (my favorite) I hope you pay attention, if not, that's fine, thank you.

Thank you the request! I trust google translate too so don't worry I have to use to talk to some of my non english speaking coworkers! I hope you enjoy this! ~ Mads <3 (Not proof read)

Warning: Periods, Cramps, Blood, Period accidents in public, Comfort

Masterlist

Chris Redfield

Chris had taken you out to brunch with his friends, all of them enjoying the one rare moment of peace they all go together. You spent the time getting the office gossip from the girls that Chris never bothered to get whilst he was at work. You were having a good time until you felt the familiar stabbing pain in your lower back. You suddenly straightened your back in response accidentally knocking Chris' arm. Chris turned to you thinking that you were trying to get his attention, his brows furrowed in confusion as he looked at your pained expression. "Everything alright, Love?" He whispered leaning in close. You shook your head slightly, "My period has just started, I'm having some cramps" Chris laid his hand on the small of your back and began to rub small circles in hope to ease some of the pain you were feeling. "Do you want to leave?" he whispered again before placing a small kiss on the crown of your head. You shook your head again leaning into his arm. "I'll be alright if you keep doing this" you joked, you posture loosened as he continued to rub your back. Chris chuckled and moved his hand up your shirt so you could get the heat of his palm too. You smiled at him, giving him a quick kiss before returning to the conversation with Jill and the others.

Piers Nivans

You had somehow managed to persuade him to take you to disneyland. You had spend the day meeting all the characters, eating all of the expensive themed junk food. Piers even treated you to your own lightsaber which you repaid him with lots of kisses and thank yous. However you were both now stood in the que for a rollercoaster ride, Piers was just ahead of you looking over the heads of people to try and see the board displaying the wait time. You were absent mindedly scrolling through your phone at all the photos you had taken during the day favoriting any of the one you wanted to post or print out. The girl behind tapped you on the shoulder, you turned to look at her with a smile. "I just wanted to let you know that you are bleeding through your jeans, do you need any products? I have some spare" she asked you, her tone was comforting and she held out a few tampons. You smiled taking the products she had held out to you and put them in your bag, you were too far in the queue now to be able to see the damage. Instead you tapped Piers on the shoulder causing him to turn and look at you with a smile. "Can I borrow your hoodie please?" You asked him innocently. Piers nodded not even hesitating to pull it off and hand it to you. You took it and wrapped it around your waist to cover the stain. "My periods bled through my jeans according to the girls behind us. I'm just using it to cover it up" You said sheepishly as you tried to gauge his reaction. "No worries Love, it's getting kinda hot anyway" He said kissing you on the head before he leaned round to make sure that the hoodie covered up the mark.

Jake Wesker

You were in the ladies toilet at the grocery shop as you silently cursed the world for the timing of your period. You couldn't leave the stall without making a mess of yourself and you didn't have any products in your purse to use. So you had to call your boyfriend who was waiting for you outside. "Hey babe, I need you to run to the female hygiene section and get me some pads please" you asked him. Jake stood by the entrance of the doorway almost like he was buffering. "Uhhh sure, What type do you need?" he asked as he began to walk over to the correct aisle. "just the basic ones please" you responded down the phone silently praying he would go a bit faster so you could actually finish the shopping and return home for cuddles and junk food. Jake stood there for like 5 minutes staring blankly at the wall of products trying to think about the ones you might have had at your house. "what brand?" he asked nervously. "just always jake, it should be a pink packet" He didn't respond for a while but you could hear the chatter of the other customers at the store as well as the beeping of the cashier. He eventually spoke as he approached the bathrooms. "I've got them" he said looking at the packet that was in his hands. "You'll have to come in" There was a beat of silence as you assumed Jake was taken aback by your statement. "There's no one in here, just come in, I'm in the last stall" Jake didn't reply instead you heard the door open and the packet landed at your feet. You muttered a thanks through the phone laughing at his delivery. Once you had finished and walked out the bathroom you were met with a scowl which made you chuckle as you finished the rest of the groceries.

Leon Kennedy

Leon was tucked underneath one of the many throws you insisted of having whilst you were out drinking with a few of your friends from work. He was scrolling through his phone as the crappy late night tv was on in the background. He was waiting for you to eventually call him to be picked up but it was rather early on in the night. He felt his eyes begin to close until he was scared awake by his phone vibrating in his hands. You were calling him. "Hey Sweetheart is everything alright?" He asked. He could hear you crying on the phone which made his heart beat fast as he tried to think of what could have possibly happened. "My period started and it's down my legs, can you come and pick me up please" You whimpered as you looked down at the blood streaks. You felt disgusting and just prayed for the earth to swallow you up whole so you didn't have to stand here like this. Leon quickly got up and raced to his car, taking a small towel and one of his hoodies with him to give you. When he arrived he gently guided your form towards the car, allowing you to hide behind the door as he wiped your legs down as best he could. He then passed you his hoodie to slip over your form knowing it would fall at least mid thigh and hide the mess. "The seats, I don't want to ruin your car" You spoke quietly. His heart broke at how small you looked as you stood there, he couldn't wait to just snuggle with you when you got home and hopefully try to ease the symptoms. He put the towel on the chair and sped home as fast as he could to make sure you got comfortable and forgot about this as quickly as you can.

[hurpdurpburps]

Otherside Picnic Manga Yuri Club Special Story 1 English Translation

It has recently come to my attention that Japanese animanga merch store Gamers (ゲーマーズ)'s Yuri Club (百合部) benefits programme's publication of the OP manga series come with an exclusive bonus short story for every volume (not the same as the Kozakura POV shorts).

Since I haven't come across any English translations of these bonus stories online, and they seem unlikely to receive official English licensing, I've decided to translate them myself and share them with the internet.

You can check out the official Yuri Club website if you wish to find out more (Japanese-only).

-

SPOILER WARNING: Takes place immediately before the events of File 3 - Station February in Vol 1 of the novels.

Written by: Miyazawa Iori

Translated by: @hurpdurpburps

-

Chapter 1: Shinjuku, The First Meet-Up

As it was my first time meeting up with someone in Shinjuku, I asked about where we should meet.

A message saying "I don't know, I'm not very familiar with Shinjuku," returned in response.

What an unreliable woman. You’re the one who insisted on having an afterparty…

I was glaring at the screen of my smartphone when the next message appeared along with a goofy pop-up sound effect. "You can pick a spot, Sorawo."

You’re not supposed to say "You can pick a spot". Shouldn’t you be saying "Could you pick a spot, please?" [1]

Oh, whatever. She helped me out when we encountered Hasshaku-sama the other day, so I'll pick a meeting place as a way of returning the favour…

After consulting the internet, I decided for us to meet at 4.30pm in front of an installation called "The Eye of Shinjuku". From there, we would make our way to the commercial district along the West Exit of the station and pick a restaurant at random.

It's going to be early Friday evening, so it shouldn't get too crowded yet… Is that too optimistic of me? No, I'm sure it'll be fine. This is Tokyo, there are lots of shops, I’m sure it’ll work out somehow.

With excessive trust in Tokyo's crowd capacity that was typical of someone from the countryside, I informed Toriko of the meeting place.

The next evening. The station's layout was more complicated than I thought, so I got a little lost. I cut through the underground hurriedly and finally arrived at my destination five minutes late. Toriko, who was leaning against “The Eye of Shinjuku' - a shining eye-shaped object against a black stone wall, waved as soon as she saw me.

Toriko stood out, so she'd caught my eye before `"The Eye of Shinjuku" did, which was supposed to have been the focal point of attention. Perhaps we might have been able to catch each other anyway if I’d gotten Toriko to stand at a random location.

"Sorry to keep you waiting."

"No, it's okay. I just got here." [2]

"When did you actually arrive?"

"About fifteen minutes ago, I think."

"… That's a little early?"

"I was looking forward to it!"

Toriko was in a good mood despite having been kept waiting, and looked like she was about to start hopping around.

"Let's hurry up. I haven't eaten anything since I woke up, so I'm really hungry."

"Fine, fine. Well, um… I guess it’s this way."

Together with Toriko, I started walking towards the West Exit.

"By the way, why did you choose this side of the station? Isn't the East Exit side more bustling?"

"Well, that side seems a little scary… Isn't Kabukicho or whatever over there?"

"Yeah. Haven't you been there?"

"Absolutely not. Isn't it scary?"

"No it’s not. There’s lots of stuff over there, like a movie theatre. It's annoying when people call out to you when you're alone, though."

"It's scary after all."

"It'll be fine, I’m with you. Wanna head over there now?"

"Nope, I’m good. Maybe next time if I feel like it." [3]

As we engaged in frivolous conversation, I was suddenly struck by a strange feeling. Meeting up with a friend to go drinking made me feel like an ordinary college student. I wasn’t planning on going to the Otherside today, had a surplus of cash in my pocket, and I didn't have my gun with me either.

So even I can do something like that…

As I indulged myself in the sentiment, I walked side-by-side with Toriko through the streets of Shinjuku, where bars were starting to open for business.

TL Notes

General note: I adopted a more 'literary' prose style to match the tone of the novels. Hence, the translation in this series will be significantly more liberal than my usual analytical posts. Feel free to ask me anything. Feedback regarding translation accuracy is also welcome.

[1] The original Japanese here says 決めていいよじゃないよ。決めていただけませんか、じゃないの？

TLDR Sorawo is just being petty and griping about Toriko's not using formal/polite language for what was essentially a request/favour while not having the 'moral high ground' so to speak.

[2] More of a cultural note than a translation one. These two lines are something of a standard greeting for scenes depicting a (new-ish) couple going on a date.

And also throwback!!!! To their conversation at Shosen Grande when Sorawo was waiting for Toriko before their second trip to the Otherside in Vol 1 (File 2 - Hasshaku-sama survival).

“Did I keep you waiting?” “Fifteen minutes.” “Isn’t this where you’re supposed to say, ‘I just got here’?” “Did you think this was a date or something?” I said curtly, heading outside without listening to her response.

Gotta love how Sorawo just punched through social niceties and interrogated Toriko about the truth. But more importantly she didn't call out Toriko again on the date-ish line lol.

[3] Vol 5 foreshadowing!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 'Nuff said.

List of Yuri Club's Otherside Picnic Short Stories [my translations]:

1. Shinjuku, The First Meet-Up (新宿、初めての待ち合わせ)

2. Hasshaku-sama Epilogue (八尺様エピローグ)

3. Ochanomizu, The First Afterparty (お茶の水、初めての打ち上げ)

4. Ikebukuro, Cafe Meal For One (池袋、ひとりカフェ飯)

5. Naha, After The Big Job (那覇、大仕事の後)

6. Ishigaki Island, A Dazed Vacation (石垣島、呆然のリゾート)

7. Mercedes AMG, The Backseat (メルセデスAMG、後部座席)

8. Otherworldly Elevator, On The Way Back (異世界エレベーター、帰路)

9. Kozakura Mansion, Pizza Party (小桜屋敷、ピザパーティー)

10. TBD

11. TBD

[vorrentis]

Reader x Jihyo - Looking Out For You (Part 1)

I can't believe I haven't put this up yet lol.

Just in time for Jihyo's solo so let's say it was planned.

One of my first chapters ever so if it's crappy, I'm sorry.

WORDS: 6314

========================

It was early as usual, and you were the first one in class, since you had nothing else to do.

You walked into class, ready for the boring lecture set for today, but today had a surprise for you.

Behind your seat, was a girl you've never seen before. 

She was sitting there looking at her phone. 

You went towards the teacher who was at her desk.

"Um, Ms. (teacher)?"

"Hmm," You used your eyes to motion to the girl. "Oh, she's a new transfer student. It's her first day here. That's also her new seat by the way."

"Ahh, okay. Thanks." The teacher nodded and you went towards your seat, which was in front of hers.

She looked up and you waved your hand. She was really cute.

"Hey. My name is (YN). I'm guessing you're new here?" You asked.

"Jihyo, sorry, my English...not so good." She said with a bit of trouble.

"It's fine," You then looked down to see her handwriting, it was in Korean, "Korean right?"

"Yeah. How'd you know?" She nodded a bit surprised.

"Mannaseo Bangawoyo" (It's nice to meet you)

"You know Korean as well?" She said in her language.

"Yeah, my dad's side is actually Korean so I know Korean." You said in Korean.

(You're speaking Korean to her from here on out.)

"Hey, do you need someone to help you out? I'll show you around and everything, I can even teach you English if you want."

Her face looked surprised.

"Sorry, I know it's sudden, but I don't want you to be lost or anything."

"Oh no no, it's just that I don't want to waste your time though, and no offense, but you don't even know me." She said.

"Well, I know your name so that's good enough for me. Besides, it's much easier with a person translating than the machine you have." You said pointing at her translator, which was a mini laptop that she typed into to get her translation.

She looked back and forth at you and the mini laptop. Then she closed the laptop and put it away.

"Then (YN), I'll take your offer." She said smiling as you smiled back.

That was the start of a new friendship...

----------------------------------------------

Throughout the next couple of months, she was by your side whenever you both had classes. You did not mind one bit though. You were helping her with her assignments, notes and even teaching her the basics of English.

She was learning pretty quickly, but she said that she was learning lessons at home to, so it was no wonder she was learning quickly.

By this time she was getting used to the language and soon was able to understand some of the lessons too. She was very thankful for your help.

You just waved your hand and said that it was nothing.

Soon both were hanging out outside of class: showing her around the city, taking her to your favorite places to eat, the mall, even each other's places.

She introduced you to her parents and her to yours. Her's were happy that she found a friend quickly that was helping her out and they were thanking you for it. Your's were happy that you've finally found a girlfriend.

You quickly corrected them as both you and Jihyo blushed. She knew what they were talking about since she was learning quickly.

But other than that, everyone was going smoothly...was...

--------------------------------------------------

"I don't know what to do bro." You were currently at your room, on your phone with another friend of yours, (FN).

"Easy, just ask her out. Simple."

"It's not that easy, (FN). Maybe for you, but for me-"

"Man you're really taking this hard...and since when did you start liking her that way anyway?"

"Last week, I took her out for dessert, you know the ice cream place at the mall."

"Yeah...and."

"and when we were at the table together, I just imagined that we were on a date..."

"But haven't you already taken her out before and stuff."

"Yeah, but last week was...different. I've never seen her that way before, but the way she looked, ate, laughed...It was just ice cream, but I really felt like we were on a date...and I wanted to go on more with her."

"So just ask her out."

"I don't even know if she even likes me. What if she sees me as a friend only? Imagine this...

"Jihyo, I was wondering...umm...would you like to maybe...go out with me?" 

"Ohh...(YN)...I'm sorry," You said impersonating Jihyo's voice. "I...I don't have the same feelings as you.

"(YN)...I'm sorry."

"No it's fine really...um...can we just...forget about this..."

"Y-yeah...sure, she says and then after that, we both don't talk regularly and both start to avoid one another

Yeah, that's how you thought in your mind the scene was going to go as you told your friend about your situation.

"Listen (YN), no offense, but you're pretty stupid for thinking that that's going to happen."

"It's just...I don't know what to say to her...we've only been friends for a couple of months, but-"

"I know, I know, she's the best girl you've ever hanged out with, she's different, she's funny, cute, etc, etc. I get it." Your friend said cutting you off. "Look she's not going to say no to you, after everything you both do. Look I've got to go, but you better ask her out soon, I'm rooting for you." Your friend said as he hanged up after.

With a sigh, you laid in your bed, covered your eyes and prepared for tomorrow.

========================================================

ONE WEEK LATER

Yeah, it's been a week since your conversation.

You were really nervous and kept coming back to your initial theory of what might happen. But today was the day, you had all your courage and made it a mission to ask her out.

You were looking for Jihyo, but she wasn't where you would usually meet. You shrugged thinking she went on ahead.

You then walked into the lunchroom and looked at your usual table, but she wasn't there. You looked around...until you saw something that was hurting you.

Jihyo was sitting somewhere and someone had their arm around her shoulder.

'No...don't tell me...'

Jihyo then spotted you and got up from her table and went towards you.

"Hey (YN), sorry for not meeting you."

"No it's fine, it's just that, why are you over there?"

"Oh...well, you know Daniel right." You nodded slowly. "I wanted to wait till I thought we were doing well and it just so happens that that day was yesterday. Dan and I are in a relationship."

'...No way...' Your heart was dropping after this.

"R-Really, umm, when did he ask you out?"

"Maybe a couple of weeks ago, we already went on a couple of dates too. But I wasn't too sure about the relationship, but he was sweet and told me that we could take it easy." Jihyo happily said with a big smile.

------------------------------

There was one major problem with that...

Daniel was a playboy.

No one knew to expect you. 

You caught him on multiple times with different girls, sometimes being with someone else when he already had a relationship with someone.

You've seen him with a girl at school and on that same night, with someone else.

You hated this kind of people that treated women like 'trophies'. 

How you caught him is that you got a job at this restaurant, one of the best around actually...as a busboy, but it still was a job for you.

The worst part was that it was Dan's family restaurant.

And being one of the best around, your guess was that he brought them here to show off his wealth. He even has his table prepared whenever he wanted.

Good thing was that he wasn't that smart. He doesn't even notice you since you've never interacted with him, school nor work, but you saw him from afar, flirting and holding on to his ladies. It was always the same antics.

You didn't see the same girl often and you've seen only about 1 or 2 girls from school. Your guess is that he dated girls from other schools as well.

And now here he was taking Jihyo as well.

You wanted to say don't bother and go out with me instead, but you didn't...you couldn't...but she seemed so happy at the thought that you couldn't just say don't do it to her.

Even if you did, she wouldn't believe it anyway or even simply agree with you.

"That's great Jihyo." You said with a fake smile.

"Thanks (YN)... but that doesn't mean that won't hang out though. Today I'm going to sit with them if that's okay with you?"

"No, go ahead. I'll hang out with (FN) instead."

"Great thanks (YN)." And with that she left, leaving you miserable.

----------------------------------------------------

ONE WEEK LATER

You've been hiding the fact that you still didn't like the relationship Jihyo has been on. You both still hang out, but whenever Jihyo brought his name up you couldn't help, but ignore her. You also spend fewer days together since she was now hanging out with Dan and his friends.

Saturday night came and it was your day off, you asked Jihyo if she wanted to do something, but she was busy studying for a test on Monday. At least she wasn't with Dan you thought. But your parents asked if you wanted to see the new Halloween movie that came out with them after the learned that you aren't going anywhere.

You nodded and got ready.

It was nighttime and you were leaving the movies with your parents, you both went to see that new Halloween movie that came out.

As you three were walking out, you saw someone at the side of your eye. Your eyes widened at the sight.

It was Dan and his friends...but that wasn't what caught your eye, Dan was with a girl...and it wasn't Jihyo. They were kissing with each other in line while his friends ordered the tickets.

'Damn it. I knew this was going to happen. Okay just need to take a quick-' but Dan then turned towards your direction, and you quickly turned around yourself and left.

'That was too close...' you turned around and saw them head inside.

'Well it's too late now, but at least I caught him. I knew it, I just knew something like this was going to happen...now for the hard part.'

Jihyo

=========================================================

THE NEXT DAY

You quickly went to find Jihyo, this wasn't something to do over the phone, but in person. You went early to school again knowing that she was going to be there, she was there earlier than you sometimes.

And it turns out she was.

She was at her locker grabbing stuff. 

You quickly went to her and she saw you while smiling.

"Morning (YN)."

"Dan's cheating on you." You whispered as Jihyo didn't seem to understand.

"W-what?"

"Dan, he's cheating on you." You were assertive as Jihyo gave an short laugh.

"Heh, are you serious?" 

You nodded.

"I've caught him last night. I went to the movie theaters and saw him with another girl."

Jihyo shook her head.

"(YN), Dan told me he was going to the movies with a cousin of his that he hasn't seen in a while. I didn't go because I was studying. It was probably her."

"Jihyo, they were kissing." You whispered the last part.

"Kissing? Are you sure?"

"I'm pretty positive."

Jihyo looked away for a few seconds and turned back to you.

"Do you have proof? (YN) this is-I can't believe that."

You mentally sighed.

"No I don't, but Jihyo I know what I saw. You have to believe me."

She took some seconds thinking and you saw her lips purse.

"...I'll talk to him."

"Talk? Jihyo he-"

"(YN), I'll talk to him okay. I need to hear from him."

"He's going to lie Jihyo." 

"He's honest (YN)." You rolled your eyes.

"No he's not Jih-"

"Hey babe." You both looked to see Dan coming closer as Jihyo smiled even more at him.

"Dan~"

He came close and the two hugged as you scoffed and gave a look at Dan.

"How are you doing?"

"Great, just talking to (YN)."

"Sup (YN)." You motioned your head to say hi.

"Hey sorry about yesterday," Jihyo nodded.

"It's okay, don't worry," Jihyo excused as you turned away from them and started walking, catching the eyes of her and Dan.

"Did I interrupt?" He asked as Jihyo looked at him.

"Dan, we need to talk." 

----------------------------------

RING

10 minutes passed by and students were starting to get into their seats. 

Eventually Jihyo came along as well and sat behind you whie Dan came in with his friends.

TAP TAP

You felt a tap on your shoulder and turned as Jihyo leaned closer.

"I talked to him."

"And..." Of course, you knew what the answer was going to be.

"He said that he was with his family/friends and what you saw was him kissing her on the cheek, that was a cousin of his that he hasn't seen in a while. Even his friends confirmed it."

'That lying piece of-'

"He also said that I was the only girl he's ever had his eyes on. He said that he would never go behind my back. Even though we only been dating for some weeks now, but I can tell he was sincere in his words."

You couldn't say anything to argue that, what could you say. You didn't have proof.

"I know what I saw Jihyo."

"(YN) seriously, Dan is nothing like that okay. Just drop this." She said with a serious tone.

"...Fine."

"Good."

And after that, none of them said a word to each other. The whole day. It was hurting you, but you needed some kind of prove that Dan is cheating on her.

------------------------------------------

You walked home alone, you didn't bother saying goodbye to Jihyo.

About a good 10-minute walk from school and someone shouted your name.

"Hey (YN)."

You turned around to see the man you despise himself, Dan. Along with a couple of friends of his.

"Can I help you?" You asked.

"Yeah you can. So you're good friends with Jihyo, right?" You nodded.

"And as friends, I can understand how you would want to protect her."

"Where are you going with this?" You said as he had your full attention.

"Now I know that nobody knows about my...relationships that I had before. And somehow Jihyo knew about last night and of course, I had to sweet charm her into thinking I was the only one for her. Now I don't know how, but I know for a fact that she was told this...am I right." His friends then circled around you.

You looked around at the three.

"Jihyo deserves better. I know you're seeing someone behind her back." You said.

"Saw you last night...you were right by the way. Can't keep this a secret any longer from you."

"So it's true. Why?!" You said angrily.

"Why not, Sarah's cute and all, but Jihyo...with that body...I think I'll keep her for a while."

You clenched your teeth and formed a fist, but suddenly your chest felt pain and all the air was gone from your lungs as Dan kneed you in the stomach making you get on your knees.

You clenched your mouth and hugged your stomach as the pain was coursing through your body.

"If you ever, say anything to Jihyo again. I will personally make you suffer."

You got up after the three left you. You clenched your stomach. But the pain was going away. Now you know that it's true, you have one objective.

Catch him again.

---------------------------------------------

ONE WEEK LATER

It's been a week since the incident and you were now focusing on trying to catch Dan. You barely even talked to Jihyo.

You came up with a plan though.

Your plan was the restaurant. You haven't seen Dan yet for a while, but that means he hasn't brought Sarah (his other girl) here yet.

You asked for a shift for each night, it was going to be hard work and you didn't know when he might come, but you needed to catch him. You couldn't get all the nights, but four of them only.

You were praying that this night was his night to be here.

'Please...you know you want to bring her here.'

Luck was on your side today, as of course, Dan came through the entrance with the same girl as you saw him with last time.

You smirked as you waited till you got some photos of him doing something flirty with her.

It took a while, but you saw him putting his arm around hers and even gave a kiss on the cheek.

SNAP SNAP SNAP

'Perfect' You thought as you scrolled through the photos.

-----------------------------------------------

The Next Day

You immediately went towards Jihyo's locker and there she was alone too. You both were always the first ones here. There was no one, but a couple of students walking around.

'Good.'

"Jihyo." You said as you fast walked to her. She turned towards her name and saw you.

"Hi (YN), look about last ti-" She said with a smile.

"I caught him. This time I have prove."

"Caught who?"

"Dan," Jihyo rolled her eyes, "I caught him cheating on you again, except this time I have some prove." 

"(YN), I'm not having this conversation again." She said with her tone getting agitated.

You didn't respond, but you took your phone out and showed the multiple photos that you took of Dan and the girl he was with.

Jihyo took the phone and looked through each one.

"(YN)..."

"See, now I know this must be har-"

"Have you been spying on us!?" She said angry.

"What?"

"These are fakes aren't they." She looked up at you.

You just blinked a couple of times. 

Surely you didn't hear that right.

"What do you mean 'fakes'?" You said confused.

"(YN) this is the same exact place that we had our date a couple of days ago. We're even sitting on the same table...wait...have you been stalking him?" She said with a shocked look on her face.

"N-No, Jihyo look I-"

"Why are you so hellbent on making us break up?" She spat as you...

"...I-I'm looking out for you Jihyo. What other reason could I possibly have or need?"

"..."

"..."

"...you have feelings for me." She uttered as your heart raced.

While it wasn't how you wanted her to know, it wasn't the time to act timid.

"My feelings have nothing to do with this Jihyo. He's been cheating on you this entire time," You pointed at your phone. "Look at it again and tell me that these aren't fake." You pushed your phone forward as Jihyo stepped back.

"(YN), now you're taking this too far...you're starting to creep me out." Jihyo said worryingly, "...maybe...maybe we shouldn't see each other for a bit." Jihyo said.

Your head leaned back.

"Y-you can't be serious?! You think this is a joke Jihyo?!"

"Why can't you understand (YN) that he loves me and I love him."

"Jih-"

"No (YN), you don't have the right to even speak! Dan is sweet and caring and he's been nothing but loving with me." Jihyo was getting angrier.

"And I haven't?! Who's been there for you since day one Jihyo! And now I'm suddenly the villain!" You pointed at yourself.

"Well you certainly aren't acting like a good person right now (YN)! Dan makes me happy! Why can't you get that!"

"He's only using you Jihyo, he wants to brag about getting you at his side! Jesus why aren't you getting this!"

Jihyo took a few moments.

"...you're jealous."

"Oh my-"

"No, you are. That's why you're trying so hard to get rid of Dan, so you can have me for yourself." She said accusingly.

"I told you my feelings-"

"Well it ain't happening. Dan is a lot of great things (YN), more than you can think! And right now, more than you! That's why I would choose him over you! Dan makes me feel wonderful and I want you to stay away from us!"

"..."

...

...

...

Your heart shattered at what she just said.

It was at that point that whatever you said didn't matter...not that you had anything else to say...what could you say?

You closed your eyes and shook your head.

"...do you what you want then," you muttered, "I was only looking out for you. And if you think it's best if we don't see each other, then, fine." You said while turning away, trying to keep your composure.

Jihyo then huffed her frustrations and turned around towards her locker. 

She couldn't believe what just happened. 

You were getting too far.

'I can't believe (YN). How could he just say things like that.'

Then she closed her eyes and took deep breaths. She opened her eyes and the first thing she saw was the inside of her locker door. 

It was with a two clips of selfies of you and her. Each photo had both of them smiling and goofing off.

She remembered each one when she and you took them in the photo booth machines in the mall. One for the first time they went there and the other wasn't that long ago with her new hairstyle.

She shook her head and closed the door after getting her materials. 

===========================================

TIMESKIP

TWO DAYS

Two days have passed and it wasn't good for Jihyo.

She didn't mean what she said.

She was angry at what you were suggesting and lost it.

She liked Dan a lot, but she enjoyed being with you too.

You were right, you were looking out for her well being.

She was going to apologize to you the next day and talk about this more calmly but you didn't show up.

She called you but no answer.

After school, she went to your home, but you weren't their either as your parents wondered the same.

That's when Jihyo started to get worried.

She went and called her friends and asked, but no.

She called your friends but nothing either.

That's when Jihyo started to panic.

She remembered the last words she said about not wanting to see you for a while, but she didn't think you'd take it this hard.

Guess that's what happens when you break someone's heart.

Now she felt horrid about what she said about 'choosing Dan over you' and 'to stay away'.

That's not true at all.

You made her feel welcomed and happy too.

God she was an idiot.

If she hadn't lost it, this mess wouldn't be happening and if anything happened to you...she didn't know what she'd do.

And now, sitting on her desk, staring forward at the lone table while students around talked, she couldn't think of anything but you.

'Where are you (YN), I'm so sorry. Please be safe.

As class was about to start...

"Jihyo?" The teacher approached her, "Mr. (Principal) wants to see you in his office."

Jihyo nodded slowly.

"Is it about (YN)?"

"I don't know."

Jihyo's breath shook.

"...okay,"

With that Jihyo sat up from her desk and with a heavy weight, proceeded outside the classroom, noticing the lack of emotions from other students, including Dan fooling around with his friends.

'Can't they see he's missing...'

With a couple of minutes walking, she made her way to the principal's office and knocked on the door.

"Come in,"

is what she heard and she turned the doorknob and stepped in...to see the principal, along with two officers.

She started to stress seeing them.

'No...no, i-it can't be-'

"Ms. Park, please sit." The principal waved at the empty chair as Jihyo sat down as her heart couldn't take it.

"Is (YN)-..." She couldn't bring herself to say what she thought.

"That's why we're here. We're from the (Location) police department, we're here to question students about him. His parents filed a missing report."

Jihyo felt her body go limp.

Ice in her veins.

And a loss of breath.

"M-missing..."

"Yes, now, Mr. (Principal Name) has informed us that you and (YN) are close. May I ask your relation to them?"

"..."

Jihyo's mind was scattered.

She just assumed you were at home moping.

'(YN)...missing...' 

"Ms. Park. I understand it's difficult to process, but we need your information."

Jihyo turned her head to the principal and then to the cops, one who had a notepad.

"...w-we're friends."

"And when was the last you spoke to them?" He wrote down her answer.

And that's, when the conversation of you and her came in like a flood.

"T-tuesday morning...a-are you sure he's missing?"

"His parents stated that he hasn't been in contact at all and based on the school cameras, he walked off the grounds shortly before school ended. You were the last seen talking to him in the halls."

Now Jihyo was starting to freak.

"May I ask what you were talking about?"

"...I-it was about my boyfriend...w-we were talking about...about..." Jihyo's breath rate increased.

"It's okay, take your time." The second cop suggested, "and take deep breaths. I know it's difficult, but we're doing everything we can to find him and every information helps." The cop explained as Jihyo nodded slowly.

"..."

"..."

"...we were talking uh, my boyfriend potentially cheating on me. I didn't believe him, we had an argument and he left."

"Did he say where?"

'What did I do...'

Jihyo shook her head.

"Did he say something that he was going to do?"

'I did this...'

Jihyo shook her head once more.

"He said that...that he was sorry about it and he left. I-I didn't see him after..." Jihyo rose her hand over her mouth, "I-I didn't mean to be rude-I-I-was mad at that point and-"

"It's okay Ms. Park, no one is blaming you." The principal lowered his hand but it was futile as Jihyo started to shake in her chair, "these men are looking for leads."

"Ms. Park, are you absolutely sure that he didn't say anything." The first cop asked as Jihyo shook her head as the first cop nodded.

"Well, then may we ask everything about (YN). We're hoping you have something new for us. Something that may lead us to somewhere."

Jihyo slowly looked up at the cop and nodded.

----------------------------------------------------------------

TIMESKIP

SLAM

Jihyo hurried and ran towards the door of your home.

Immediately after school, Jihyo drove towards your place.

After finishing up questions, she went back to class and hurried for school to end.

She only gave information that they seemly already knew from asking your parents.

Favorite restaurants, places, etc.

Although nothing was new as the cops assured her that they're doing everything they can and she was excused.

And when Jihyo left the room, she went to the nearest bathroom stall...and cried.

You were missing and Jihyo blamed herself for it.

After sobbing for some time, even when class was almost over, Jihyo vowed to find you.

She had to find you.

KNOCK KNOCK

"(YN)! Is that you!" Jihyo heard from behind the door.

The door swung open to reveal your mother with your father behind her

"J-Jihyo..." She said weakly as started to become emotional, "w-we don't know where (YN) is..."

"I know, the cops asked me about him."

"Oh god..." Your mom started to cry a bit. "We tried contacting him and now we have the police out searching, but...but..." She stopped talking as she broke down. 

Your father came over and consoled her.

"Jihyo, if you know anything, anything that could cause him to disappear, please tell us."

She broke your heart.

That's what happened.

"...N-no, I-I don't know. I'm going to look around as well."

"Maybe something at school, was he getting bullied?" Your dad asked.

Jihyo shook her head.

"My baby..." Your mom sobbed as Jihyo was almost at the same state, "(YN)..."

"Shh, he's okay (mom's name) he's okay, he's strong. Jihyo, help us find him," Your dad asked as Jihyo nodded.

"I-I'll look around..."

"Thank you," You dad said as he hugged your mom and ushered her back in, "I'll join as well," he said as he brought your mom back inside, instructing her to remain here.

Jihyo's eyes fell and her body felt like gravity increased by 100 times.

'I did this...'

----------------------------------------

TIMESKIP

Five hours later

Jihyo was sitting in her car, thinking of anything. 

ANYTHING that she could have missed.

It's been five hours since your parents and she couldn't find you.

She wished to every god and deity to find you sitting somewhere safe, but no.

It was getting night and Jihyo was all out of ideas on where you could be.

But she wasn't going to stop.

She'd search every corner of the city to find you.

'Where could he have gone...(YN)...maybe...maybe Dan knows something? After all, this started with him...but I'm hoping he didn't do anything.' She didn't think of Dan at all after these two days.

She texted and after a bit of not answering, she called him twice, but he wasn't answering either.

She scoffed and she drove towards his house to see if he was there. 

After a short drive, she arrived at his house, parked outside his pathway, went out the car and towards the door.

She rang the doorbell as she looked around the front yard.

CLICK...SWING

"It's about t-" Jihyo noticed that Dan's eyes widened to the fullest and he was all in a pretty nice attire as well, "J-J-Jihyo!?" He then looked over Jihyo's head and back to her, making Jihyo wonder why he was acting strange, "W-What are you doing here? Damn it you should have called!" Dan demanded and had panic in his tone.

That was a bit much, but Jihyo didn't care at the moment.

"Twice I called you pabo. We need to talk, but I'm guessing this is a bad time." She said as she nodded.

"I-I'm just about to head out with family, so we'll talk later okay!" Dan said quickly as Jihyo sighed. 

"Fine, I'll talk to you later then, but I have one quest-"

"Jihyo just go." Dan said as Jihyo burrowed her brows.

"Don't tell me to just leave!" Jihyo barked back. "And why are you so paranoid?" She asked with venom in her tone as Daniel's eyes tightened.

"Just ask your damn question." 

Jihyo did not like that language.

"(YN) is missing. Do you know anything about it?"

Daniel scoffed.

"How should I know? Maybe he's just done with life."

SLAM

Jihyo then rushed towards him as Daniel's eyes widened as the door was pushed open and Jihyo was in front of him with a glare that sends shivers down his spine.

"Don't! Don't you dare say something like that!" Jihyo pointed at his face, "this isn't a joke or laughing matter! (YN) is missing and I need to know if you know anything Kang Daniel!"

Jihyo was fuming and it was only going to be worse since...

HONK HONK

Daniel's eyes widened and prayed to the gods for help.

Jihyo turned around and noticed a pretty nice yellow car was parked and someone stepped out the driver's seat and started to come towards them.

"J-Jihyo I'll answer anything, but you have to leave now." Daniel said fast as Jihyo kept her eyes on the person arriving.

A blond girl with a nice attire as well.

"Hey Dan~" Was the girl's tone as she stepped closer "Sorry for being la-and who's this?"Jihyo didn't know who she-...no...wait...

No, no she recognized who she was...she just can't figure it out...

"M-Marissa...c-can you give us a minute." Dan asked cautiously as Jihyo kept her gaze on the girl. 

"Sure babe~"

.

.

.

Everything in Jihyo froze.

"B-babe..." She repeated.

Then it hit her...

It was the same girl from your phone.

Jihyo froze and stared at the girl's appearance, it was exactly her and her saying babe...

She turned around and saw Dan's perplexed face.

Her frozen body was engulfed with fury.

"(Y-(YN) was right...you were cheating on me..." Her fist formed and her tone was cold.

"Ji-" 

PUNCH

Dan held his nose hard as he looked at Jihyo, who had a glare that looked like she was going to murder him.

"You bastard! You two-timing bastard! (YN) was right!" Jihyo shoved him as Daniel went back a step.

"Ji-"

"We're done! We're so over! I don't ever want to hear or see you again you hear me!"

Jihyo screamed so powerful that it left Daniel and even the girl hurt in their ears as Jihyo stormed off.

"C-cheating?! You were cheating?!" Jihyo heard the other girl yell from behind, but she didn't turn around to observe.

She was so furious...and so blameworthy.

She, in quick time, got into her car, and drove away without looking back.

During the drive, she thought how incredibly stupid she was. 

You were right...

The whole time you were telling the truth and she didn't believe you because of affection for that piece of shit.

She drove you away from her because of that...

Because of her blindness and mistrust...

"(YN)...oh god...I-I'm so so-agh..."

The tears came down.

-----------------------------------------------------

TIMESKIP

THE NEXT DAY

Jihyo was at her desk, by herself in the class. 

She came to school early to avoid that piece of garbage Kang Daniel, knowing he never arrives early to school

She was staring at her phone, nothing was going to distract her. 

The very millisecond it rings, she was going to answer and no one was to stop her.

All night last night, Jihyo cried and called you many times.

She felt horrible and felt every negative emotion in her as she was on her bed just calling and texting nonstop.

You were right...

You were looking out for her.

She should have known better.

And what hurt the most is that you could have been-

No, no she couldn't think of that ending.

Jihyo needed you to be with her ASAP and safe and she'll do whatever she can to have your trust and friendship back.

But she didn't even think that's possible now with what she said to you, but Jihyo will find a way no matter what.

"Jihyo?" Jihyo tensed up, she knew that voice.

It belonged to Leon, one of Dan's friends.

"How are you doing?" He asked but she didn't turn around.

"Ms. Park, Leon here would like something to you, I think you should listen." Another voice spoke up, she turned around to see the principal behind Leon, whose expression was hurt.

She didn't reply, nor did she want to talk to any one of them. 

If they were friends with Dan, then they were now nobody to her.

"..." 

The principal nodded and looked down at Leon.

"Understandable, Leon." He spoke with a serious tone as Leon gulped.

"Listen Jihyo. I wanted to tell you that we got expelled," Jihyo's glare softened and her eyes were curious, why was he telling her this? "Mason and Dan included." 

"And?" She spoke with confusion as he looked downward.

"We threatened (YN)." Jihyo recoiled, "Dan even hurt him."

Jihyo stood up with lightning speed and rushed at him only for the principal to stop her in time as a couple of other students and the teacher was staring with awestruck looks as Jihyo swung her arms.

"You bastard! ALL OF YOU! WHAT DID YOU DO TO HIM LEON?!" Jihyo screeched with malice in her voice.

"Ms. Park, Ms. Park! I know you're disconcerted, but please lower your attitude. He knows nothing of (YN) after that." The principal fought against her grip as Jihyo lessened her movement, but kept her glare.

"...why? Why the hell would you hurt him?!" She barked at Leon as he looked down.

"Dan wanted to keep him shut, he told you that he was cheating on you." Jihyo's eyes widened and her whole body went solid. "He threatened him to keep quiet and...god I'm so sorry Jihyo, but I swear we had nothing to do with him after. I felt so guilty about it and I turned us in." He rubbed his arm as Jihyo remained still.

"The other two don't know about him telling me and all three will be expelled. Even though he says he's done nothing with (YN) after that, we fear that that bullying led (YN) to being scared and leaving." The principal added as Jihyo felt a dagger in her already wounded heart.

"Jihyo, I'm so sorry. I know it doesn't really mean anything now, but Mason and I were trying to find him too. We didn't mean-god we-I-I'm sorry..." Leon apologized, but it was meaningless as Jihyo didn't acknowledge him with the principal figuring that was it.

"Jihyo? Would you like to ask or say anything else?" The principal asked as she shook her head.

"I want him gone..." She muttered as he nodded.

"Leon let's go grab your belongings." He instructed him as Leon nodded with the principal walking forward and turning back to see Jihyo's heartbroken look, "And don't worry Jihyo, rest assured we'll find (YN)." He expressed up as she merely sat in response, as the principal felt horrible that she was like this and looked to see the teacher as she nodded at him. 

With one look at her, both males left the room as Jihyo sat with her face buried in her hands.

"Jihyo?" The teacher was near her as the other students watched, "I don't mind if you need to go home. Would you like to call your parents to leave?" She asked, "I'll send you-"

"No..."

"...Okay. And I'll allow your phone to be on your desk, but silent please."

"..."

The teacher knew how much you meant to her, you were her first friend here.

"We'll find him Jihyo, we will." She spoke with a soft tone as she patted Jihyo's shoulder and left her to her desk, leaving Jihyo. 

Dan hurt you, he hurt you...

Jihyo couldn't 'believe it...

She couldn't believe she dated that monster...and she said that she'll choose him over you...

.

.

SNIFF...SNIFF

Jihyo started to shake and cry silently.

If she had believed you back then, you would still be here.

They would still have lunch and be close and...

And...

Jihyo shook her head.

'(YN)...please come back...I'm sorry...'

---------------------------------------------------------

THREE DAYS LATER

News about your disappearance was all over the school and even news station.

The students in the class at the time gossiped and of course, like any rumor, it spread like wildfire.

Students were chatting about you which led to multiple guesses about why you left.

All Jihyo did was search around and hoped that you will come to school or her home soon. 

She and her parents helped your parents by looking for you at places you have been to.

Jihyo went to each spot that was both her favorite place to go each day, but nothing but hurt and sadness were brought to her as she recalled memories of each place.

She left messages, voicemails, and calls just about every time she picked up her phone hoping you will hear her and come back to her. Each one was apologetic about how she was and that she needed you.

Currently, Jihyo was on her bed, holding onto her phone. She hardly talks at school and rushes home and lays on her bed, watching and waiting on her phone to ring.

Her parents were worried, but they understood that you were important in her life. 

Even though it was only about three months of them knowing each other, you were her first friend here.

You got her adjusted to the school, to the language and showed her around.

And what did Jihyo do...

Break your heart.

Told you to stay away.

That she'd want...

Jihyo just held onto her phone for dear life, she felt empty on the inside and she just wanted to hear your voice, she wanted to be near you.

She just wanted-

RINGTONE

Jihyo's eyes widened and answered right away.

"(YN)!" Her hopes were in the positives after what felt like an eternity...only...

"Jihyo?"

It wasn't your voice.

"Who's this?" Jihyo asked sadly.

"It's (Mother's Name), (YN)'s mom." 

Jihyo sat up in bed.

"Did you find him?!"

"Sadly."

She started to shake.

"W-where is he?" Jihyo asked frightened.

"..."

"Ms. (LN)?"

"...the emergency room."

=============================================

And that's that. 

Thanks for taking a pause in your life to reading this. Vote/Comment if you want. And thanks again.

[doxypsychlean]

Aegon II Targaryen x reader who is manipulative and uses the motherly love he never got to get her own way. They both love each other but in a toxic yandere kinda way 😂

Wrapped around your finger

Yandere!Aegon ii Targaryen x Yandere!Reader

Headcanons|

Warnings: none? pls tell me if I've missed sth

Thou shan't repost/copy/ translate any of my work or I'll sneak into your home late at night and bite your nose off!

English isn't my first language. I don't proofread. I slap commas wherever I feel they're needed.

A/N: Aegon and Halaena aren't together in this one. It's also pretty sweet, despite their ?yandere? tendencies.

Oh, he really thinks he's that good.

Then you come around.

You, a lady of noble descent and a member of one of the greater houses in Westeros, are also one of his greatest rivals when it comes to having the worst reputation in all the realms.

At first, it's just harmless fun. Nothing too serious.

But then you become a witness to the way his family treats him.

You work your way into his heart and head. I mean, who in their right mind would miss out on the opportunity of being Queen of Westeros one day, amirite?

He bites the bait pretty quickly.

Aegon is obsessed with the way you shower him with affection and love.

He'd be spending most of his time in your arms, begging for you to tell him how much you love, how unfair his mother is to him.

Alicent hates you at first.

The hatred turns to admiration with time, seeing as you gain complete control over her son and mold him to your liking.

But there's more to what she's feeling towards you- fear. With the way things are going, all it would take is for you to snap your fingers and Aegon would kill them all. For you.

You never do, thank the Gods, and for that you have the Queen's utmost respect and gratitude.

She never lays a hand on him again. She doesn't have to, but she's also too scared to do it.

He still drinks, maybe not as much as he did before, but he no longer chases after the servant girls. As if you'd even allow it to happen.

The first time you realize what you feel for him might be actual love, is when you order for some noble lady to be "displaced" from the Red Keep. You didn't like the way she stared at him. Cue, girly losing her eyes for that one.

He was yours and the only way to get him away would be to pull him out of your cold fingers. And you had no intention of dying any time soon.

Aegon rarely goes out of the Red Keep anymore and when he does, you're always with him. The Prince has glued himself to you, whether you like it or not.

On the rare occasions of you two not being present in the castle, golden scales could be seen shimmering high above King's Landing. Sunfyre loves you, the golden beast could feel the strong bond between his rider and you.

Expect lots of expensive gifts- lavish dresses, the rarest perfumes from Essos, jewelry, books, horses, ginormous bouquets of your favorite flowers, commissioned portraits of you two, gold, sweets, etc.

You want it? You'll have it. Simple as that.

He'd never thought of himself as a jealous man, but the second he sees his brother talking to you and you laughing... All Seven Hells break loose.

Aegon turns into a sniveling, whining mess, hands wrapping around you as if his life depends on it.

All the while shooting daggers at Aemond behind your back, daring him to come closer so he could claw his remaining eye out.

Few soft words from you and he's melting.

You love him. He loves you. Everything is more than fine. He completely forgets about Aemond, who's slowly backing away from you two.

You get married not long after. Neither one of your families is brave enough to say a word against the union, seeing as ...

You absolutely never tried to hide it from the public.

You're all over eachother for the most of it.

Both men and women are dropping like flies around you, if they just as much as stared at either of you for a second too long.

Both yours and his family are equally scared and would rather keep away, than try and separate you.

Word spreads around quickly. You're with child.

Aegon's over the moon. You're his. He's yours. Completely.

The prove pops out not long after. Then another. And another.

He would 100% elbow the midwife in the face if she tries to keep him away from you while you're giving birth.

"My Prince, you cannot..."

"Out of my way, you old hag, my wife is in there!"

He was there while you were making them, he has every right to be there while you squeeze them out.

Definitely cries his ass off when he holds your firstborn.

His tunic is discarded quickly as he holds the small bundle close to his bare chest.

Then he wraps one hand around you, almost crushing your neck with how strong he's squeezing you.

Same thing goes down every single time- he storms in, kid comes out, he's bawling his eyes out at the sight.

You pick the dragon eggs for each and every one of them together.

Aegon's just as obsessed with your children, as he is with you.

Gods forbid someone makes one of his little bundles of joy cry...Heads will be flying in all directions, no matter who they belong to.

Not even the Stranger would be able to pull you apart.

Even in death, you'd find a way to be back together.

[aniesvision]

dating? (matt sturniolo x f! reader)

warnings: lying, anxiety, panicking (nothing too bad), mostly just fluff

a/n: hi!! this one is just a cute little short fluff, it's translated from my wattpad account. friendly reminder: english is not my first language, i'm sorry if there's any mistakes ✨

synopsis: your friends were going to have Madison Beer as their next guest on their podcast and you were excited to meet her. Things take a different turn when, finally talking to her, you realize one of your friends lied to her.

colors: matt you nick chris madison ✨

⋆⁺₊⋆ ☾ ⋆⁺₊⋆ ☁︎

Just over two hours after entering the podcast studio, the three boys and the day's special guest, Madison Beer, appeared in the living room.

I had only arrived a few minutes ago and let myself in with the extra key that Nick had given to me once, considering how many times we went to each other's houses (he also have a key to my apartment).

I was practically family now. And, for that very reason, they accepted me only coming here today with the interest of getting to know Madison.

-Hi! It's so nice to finally meet you. -I smile excitedly as soon as I see the girl.

I was a big fan of her work, not the kind who followed every detail of her life or waited anxiously for news stories to find out when the new album was coming out, but the kind who listened to her songs from time to time and liked them. And also related with the lyrics.

Madison gives me a genuine smile, not waiting a second before pulling me into a hug, kindly greeting me and walking with me to the kitchen.

I showed her where the glasses and water were while the boys threw themselves down on the couch I was on earlier.

-The boys have told me a lot about you, especially Matt, you guys make such a cute couple. -She says with a big genuine smile, setting her empty glass on the counter.

-Huh? -I ask, confused. -What do you mean "couple"?

Madison spent her whole day with the guys. They decided to hang out before filming so it'd feel more natural. I haven't been able to talk to any of them yet, considering they were filming and I immediately went to talk to Madison when they were done.

I glance in the direction of the couch, seeing that Matt is looking at us suspiciously. Maybe he said we were dating for a reason, and I'll find out later, but for now I'm going to be the good friend who lies to get in on the act and help him out.

-Matt told me you guys are dating. And I'm sorry, I didn't know you had something, I have a friend who has a certain interest in him and I tried to help her, but neither of us are the type to destroy happy couples, so don't worry, it won't happen again.

Madison explains, making some gestures with her hands and I smile, trying to dispel the feeling of guilt that exuded from her face.

-Oh, it's okay, it's a recent thing, we haven't really announced it yet. -I answer, tucking a lock of hair behind my ear. It's so hard to lie, specially about something like this and specially to THE Madison Beer.

-I understand, but now I know, and she knows, and I'm sorry again. -Madison says, but I can't answer as Matthew appears in the kitchen.

-Hey, can I talk to you for a minute? -The boy looks at me with a fake smile and pulls me by the wrist to his room, locking the door as soon as we enter.

He didn't even give me a chance to excuse myself, he just dragged me away from Madison.

-Matt, what the fuck was that? -I ask, disbelieving that I've been taken out of the conversation so abruptly.

I crossed my arms and looked at him in confusion, trying to understand his reaction. He seemed nervous and kept looking down, running his hand through his hair repeatedly.

-I don't know. -He replies, his voice low.

-Why did you tell her we're dating?

I tried to keep my voice as calm as possible, to show him that I wasn't angry, just confused. Annoyed, for sure, but mostly confused. I didn't want to make him feel bad in any way.

-Madison tried to give me her friend's number, and I don't know, I guess I panicked. -Matt rubs his eyes a little.

-If you didn't want to, you could've just said 'no' or 'I'm not interested'. -I uncross my arms, but continue to stare at him in confusion.

-I panicked. -He repeats, starting to play with the rings on his fingers.

I take a few steps forward and take a deep breath. I put my hand on his, squeezing it lightly and making him look at me.

-It's okay. -I smiled, trying to calm him down.

-Are you mad at me? -He asks, squeezing my hand tighter.

-Of course not. I was just confused, I still am, but I think the biggest problem isn't that you said it, it's that Madison is no longer the only one who knows about our "relationship" and maybe we need to talk about what to do now.

I keep making eye contact and standing close to him, not stepping back so he wouldn't think I was somehow mad at him. Matt and I have been friends for a long time, and we both show affection through touch, so hugs, holding hands, sleeping in the same bed and things like that, are normal. But it's always just friendly.

What's not so normal is hearing that he invented a relationship between the two of us so that he wouldn't have to dump a girl and for some reason during his moment of panic I was the person he thought of to say he was dating.

Although we have a very strong friendship, not just me and him, but me and his brothers, I understand that maybe I was a kind of easy answer because I was always there.

Part of me believes this theory, that it was just a mistake out of anxiety, nothing major. Part of me wants to believe that he feels something more.

It's not like I like him, or have a crush on him or anything. I don't feel anything other than friendship for him, I can't feel it.

He's my friend and he should probably just stay my friend.

He really is an amazing person, he's attractive, I can't deny that, he's funny, we have a lot in common, we get along well, I enjoy being with him and he would certainly make a great boyfriend.

But not for me, he doesn't see me that way.

He could've gotten someone's number, he could've gotten along with a nice person, and yet he preferred to lie and say he was dating me.

He preferred a fake relationship to the chance of something real.

He panicked, but why did he panic? It's not as if anyone would think it was that bad to be dumped, it's not. It happens all the time.

I don't know how I'd feel if he told me that he'd got the number of a new girl. That he's going out with her, that he likes her. I don't know how I'd feel if he had someone else in his life. Someone that's not going to be just a friend.

I should be happy, but I probably wouldn't.

It's Matt, after all. He's my best friend, he's the one who's with me in every situation, he's the person I want to be with in my days and rely on for every moment. That's Matt. And I love him with all my heart.

I don't want to distance myself if I know he has someone else with whom he's going to do all the things we do. And even more things we've never done, but in any case, the attention would be hers, it would all be for her.

And as selfish as it is, maybe I don't want that person to exist for him. I want to remain the focus of his attention.

-I don't know what to do. -He says, getting more anxious and pulling me out of my own thoughts, back to facing the situation.

-Matt, it's okay. -I put my hands on his face, forcing him to look at me as I spoke. -It's just a fake dating thing. It's not the worst thing in the world and we'll work it out together, okay?

Matt puts his hands on my hips, pulling me closer.

-I don't know if I want to lie anymore. I can't. I need to tell the truth. -He whispers, shaking his head repeatedly.

I put my arms around him, hugging him and feeling his rapid heartbeat as he tried to take a deep breath.

-Breathe, Matt, I'm here, and it's okay, it's going to be okay.

I keep squeezing his body and he squeezes mine back, only pulling slightly away to look me in the eye.

-I lied to Madison and I couldn't say "no" because I'd feel guilty accepting another girl's number knowing that there's only one girl in this world that I want. -His voice is just above a whisper, a little shaky but firm enough to show how serious he was about his words.

He placed his hand on my cheek, caressing it gently.

-Matt... -I try to say something, but I was so stunned with the confession that I couldn't.

-I lied because I'm in love with you and I do want to date you for real, I'm sorry, I should have just confessed all this before and avoided this situation, I'm really sorry, I'm an idiot.

I giggle at the way he said it. Matt has just confessed his feelings for me and he's so anxious that he looks like he's going to die at any second and I can only laugh. It's so silly. So stupidly silly, the way I've been shoving my feelings down the ground and he was out there lying that he was dating me because he feels the same. And neither of us though of talking about it before acting stupid.

-Then we don't have to do anything, silly. There's no fake relationship to unmask if it's real. -I smile, slipping my arms around his shoulders and getting even closer to him.

-Wait. Does that mean you feel the same? -He asks, his eyes widening in a mix of confusion and surprise.

Without thinking too much, I close the distance between us, bringing our lips together in a long affectionate kiss. We pull apart from lack of air and I smile with our faces still close.

-Do you want to be my girlfriend? Like, for real this time? -Matt asked, with our lips ghosting.

He had a smile on his face that immediately made me realize how much I am and always have been in love with him, I just never wanted to accept it.

-Of course I do. -I accept, with a smile.

He joins our lips in a kiss once more and leaves several kisses on my face, then on my neck and finally back on my lips.

-Matt, everyone's in the living room, we need to go back. -I giggle, with my eyes closed, still feeling kisses on my face with a smile.

-Yeah, you need to talk to Madison more, I forgot you came just to see her today. -He lets go of me, chuckling and taking my hand.

-It's not my fault she's perfect. -I laugh too, interlacing our fingers with a shrug and pulling us towards the bedroom door.

-You're the only one who's perfect for me. -Matt whispers in my ear before opening the door and pulling me into the hallway, his face completely red with a silly grin.

We sat down together on the couch next to Madison and I got back into talking to her again, about the podcast, her music, her day, what she liked to do and things like that. She's such a sweetheart and I was so happy to meet her that my heart was racing. Obviously not just because of that, but honestly this day is just full of surprises.

At some point, Nick and Chris got closer and joined in the conversation too and it was amazing to see how everyone was so comfortable talking to each other.

Madison seemed to be a great friend and I intended to keep her in my life.

While Nick asked about what we wanted to eat and they discussed seating options, Matt wrapped his arm around my shoulders and sank his head into my neck, leaving little kisses all around.

-You guys are so cute. -Madison draws the attention of the whole group to the two of us, making me feel a little embarrassed, but happy.

-It's normal, they're clingy, it's disgusting. -Nick comments, still not connecting the dots.

-Don't say this, Nick, every couple is clingy at first. I think it's cute. -Madison looks at me with a smile.

-COUPLE? -Nick and Chris yell together, confused, looking between everyone in the room.

I hear Matt's giggle, his face still nestled in the crook of my neck. He must have been as embarrassed as I was, but it was still funny.

-Yes, a couple, people who are dating and all that. I think we forgot to tell them. -I say, sarcastically, trying to stay serious and not burst into laughter as I nudge Matt.

-Dating? You two are dating? -Nick asks again, confused. He took turns looking between me and Matt, arching an eyebrow.

Chris was looking at us laughing and Madison was a little confused, but finding the whole thing just as funny. Then Matt lifts his face, showing his big smile and red face, pulls me closer, making me lay my head on his chest this time, and starts messing with strands of my hair before looking at his brothers.

-Yes, Nick, we're dating.

With that, he lifts my face by the chin and leaves a quick kiss on my lips. I could feel my heart beating faster, but Nick and Chris's reactions were so good that I couldn't pay attention to my nervousness.

-AND YOU TOLD MADISON FIRST?! -Nick looks at us indignantly.

-I didn't mean to, but yeah, I guess. -Matt comments, shrugging and running his free hand over the back of his neck.

-Since when? -Chris asks, pointing at the two of us.

Matt looks at me in slight despair. We needed to be cautious not to seem like he lied to Madison too.

-It's recent, we'll tell you the details later, where are we going to eat now? I'm hungry. -I say, trying to change the subject.

And it worked, everyone went back to discussing where to go out to eat and forgot the information about our recent relationship, which was more recent than they could ever know.

-Thank you. -Matt whispers in my ear and I smile in response, snuggling closer to him and enjoying the moment.

I certainly could never have imagined Matthew with anyone else, and I'm glad I realized it in time. It'd be painful to see him with another girl.

tags 💕

@riowritesitall

[accio-victuuri]

follow up clowning related to gg’s weibo post from here. a reminder first that i don’t think everything has to mean something and most of the time what they post is just plain and simple. we are clowns, so we will speculate but that doesn’t mean we have to find some candy for every content they post before we can enjoy & appreciate it. for example, we also think that the reason GG is doing these solar terms right now, while he is filming LoZ is in the synopsis of the drama, his character is the son of the “director of the Imperial Observatory of the Great Yong Kingdom” , that’s the english translation. but the key here in the original text is this word: 钦天监 [qīn tiān jiàn].

what is it? thank you to good old baidu for always having the answer:

Qin Tianjian is the signature of an official whose function is to observe celestial phenomena, calculate solar terms, and formulate calendars.

calculating solar terms. so that could be the connection he is hinting at that is somehow significant to the character he is playing. makes sense right?

this is not me washing anyone’s candy. i’m only laying out alternative explanations cause that’s how i do things. lol. the addition i have seen going around is kadian related and i’m not a kadian girlie so i was blocking it out when i first saw it. 😅😅😅

okay, now let’s go to the cpn. ⬇️⬇️⬇️

the post he made is his 1085th on weibo. oh what a good number, like a mashup between their birthdays. and the kadian that was used 191919. which means still still still. or you can concentrate on the repeated use of the number 999 ( In Chinese, nine is pronounced jiu, which also means “long lasting.” As the highest single digit, it represents the maximum level of mortal happiness, longevity, and good luck. A perfect ten is reserved for the gods. Case in point: in respect to the Heavens, the Forbidden City in Beijing has 9999.5 rooms, just short of a flawless 10,000. )

who is saying still too? forever with who? wang yibo. based on my first post about it, his use of that word 谷雨 that also came up in LTS lyrics.

another coincidence is that in the song itself, the word comes up in the 0:19 mark. 👀

commemorating the anniversary of when he followed yibo on weibo, 4/20/2018 so he posted on the eve of that day. maybe he is celebrating something else that only the two of them know and it’s not necessarily something as mundane as following a person on weibo. who knows. however, it’s on the bxg calendar so we are marking that down as a possible reason. 📝

i love this explanation tho, that goes back to that actual day years ago and what happened. it was the 5th day of filming CQL and they did not have scenes together, so why did he pay attention and followed him? he was filming the scene in the burial mounds, WWX was drunk and reminiscing about when he first met LWJ. WWX misses LWJ cause he is not there. Was XZ also missing WYB that time? to the point that he went to his weibo account and followed him?

it’s not a secret that XZ prefers it when WYB is there, not only to act with, but just there for him. plus this level of attachment on the 5th day of filming is not surprising when it comes to them.

finally, the imagery of the rain when it comes to them is one that holds some meaning. much like how we fixate on the stars and moon. photos below to show some of those relations to the rain. ☔️

and that lrlg conversation they had that went:

XZ: "I'm waiting for you"

WYB: "I'll come and have dinner with you when it rains”

XZ: "Tomorrow's meal"

WYB: "Then tomorrow"

before we end, i’ll add this quote that seems to fit the whole subject of rain:

"Because it rains so often, many important things in life seem to have happened in the rain. Those memories are now uncovered and still feel wet. Even if they dry, they are like a book soaked in water, with ripples on the paper that are difficult to calm down."

sources aside from the ones directly linked: one / two / three / four 💛