#maybe once i get used to it i’ll be zooming idk. like the controls make sense but i still can’t get my head around them

[fingertipsmp3]

Local woman downloads favourite game onto computer only to realise she likes it much better on switch, 15 dead 73 injured

[faithfromanewperspective]

sugar coated brain (the fluid ain’t to blame): unraveling Conor Aurelian

I don’t know if this is me admitting to have read embarrassingly little in terms of Actual Books since I turned 18 but. Wow. I loved sword catcher, and for once I was there eating up the plot rather than only relating to the characters so much I was obsessively hoping for a happy ending for them. 

I’ve said before that sword catcher was good, so good it’s almost above fandom discourse (like a Beethoven symphony perhaps, you think twice before making arrangements of a masterpiece like that) but even the best symphonies deserve, actually they’re honoured by, critical analysis of the phrasing and melodies and that which are used. And this is a Cassandra Clare book after all. The beauty comes from beautifully (read: realistic, somehow more human than real humans idk I’m blown away every time) constructed characters, and then from the plot. Which was character-driven and so, so delicious, but we’re not talking those kind of spoilers this early in the game. 

While I’ll admit that Kel was the most relatable character, followed by Lin or maybe Ana, there were some things about Conor that just cut a little too close in ways I hadn’t thought about in years. Taking me back to some worldbuilding of my childhood, a ‘reluctant princess’ I came up with based on feeling trapped and overprotected and that fantasy world has long since been archived in my head and it’s entertaining to think this weird kid in western sydney who didn’t get to run quite as wild as some of the other kids (but still did get to run quite wild) felt like that when we were the furthest thing from royalty. I didn’t expect to be reminded of that in an adult fantasy book, but here we are, and I’m being entertained to see all the different takes on Conor: some driven to fascination, some to annoyance, and somehow in the 5 of us who’ve actually read sword catcher already everything in between. 

But let’s be real for a second: who hasn’t heard the ‘oh you can’t be depressed you have everything you need’ and been like. Really hurt by it?? Who hasn’t sat among know it all adults in their younger years who would just judge the hell out of other young people who supposedly ‘never got to hear no’ and now they have ‘no resilience’ and ‘no wonder they’re having problems’? Referring to people you actually relate to and thought, well this definitely isn’t a safe space to be vulnerable I’ll just suffer in silence? I’ve grown up enough now to see Lin’s trauma behind the way she says this about Conor but part of me is still a little mad at her. As for Conor?? He’s everything I’d expect from someone in his position and I actually don’t think the majority of it comes from ‘never hearing no’ and ‘getting everything he wants’ but rather the things that those try to make up for: a lack of real autonomy over his life, not being allowed to feel Normal Child Feelings, having no one he can relate to and see as an equal, a heavy burden of responsibility before he was ever old enough to understand it, and the many levels of fuckery that’s all done to his parents making them not just emotionally unavailable but frivolous, trying to maintain their own autonomy and connection doing silly little rich people hobbies that just make the divide between and resentment of them vs Every Other Person greater (constant stargazing or Decoration and Control). Sugar-coated brains: how could they not be when everything revolves around you but there’s so little you can actually do but pursue the pleasure you’re told you’re entitled to? 

I didn’t expect to be this mad at the royal family culture within SC but when I look back on it I’m not surprised. Not when the setting of the book is on the edge of a revolution, the unraveling of a society that feels so much like today and allows me to zoom out in a way that makes my little revolutionist heart happy. But oh, the angst and the bad decisions as the world teeters on that razorblade. The lives that are lost in the fray. I don’t know what’s happening in our world now but after Cast Long Shadows and an arc I know that she’s proud of (our dear Matthew Fairchild) I do trust Cassie. And in the meantime I’ll let her convince me of what I already know: the lives of nobility are simply pawns in a much bigger game no one (except maybe Ana) knows how to take the reins of, and the life of a pawn, no matter the luxuries, is a sorry life indeed. 

This little revolutionist brain of the 2000s had one thing right, and I feel vindicated to see it in such clarity here: the relationship between social class and genuine connection. From the stark contrast of the opening with Cas and Kel, even also Mari and Lin, against the disaster that is the royal family, it couldn’t be clearer to me: when you’re nobody, when there are no expectations of you, you can be who you really are. Maybe not in the eyes of the authorities, and that’s an important distinction to make, but there’s no need to pretend around your nearest and dearest and sometimes that’s worth so much more than hypothetical safety. Because yes you can get away with things when you’re rich but you’ve also got more people trying to assassinate you for who you are specifically rather than just running the risk of getting killed because you’re unlucky and too unimportant for anyone to think you’d be missed. When you’re royalty (or just have parents with really high expectations or are a gifted kid even) you’re given a mold to grow into and no one really asks if that’s who you really are: why would they, when their worldview depends on you being exactly who they want you to be? So if you’re not it you pretend and even with those, like your children, who are close enough to see behind the ruse, you never quite show them who you really are either. You can see how that would drive one insane. You showcase that the only way to exist is to mask until you snap, or lose the ability to be yourself at all. Which leads me to the second type of sugar coat. 

(And I’m quoting songs as my inspo behind this post as always, title quote is empty wallets by 5sos and I’m about to move onto sugar coat by little big town aka the band with an irl fairchild in it): this sugar coat is politeness and etiquette. There’s a quote somewhere in Kel’s narration I believe that I can’t find but basically views social etiquette and the like as you know. War strategy or something, which is another little segment of the reminder it’s cassie writing this and there’s a lot of accidental neurodivergence, or neurodivergence existing in a world so very different to ours, because that’s a very neurodivergent way of viewing it imo. And in this case, the sugar coat is like a constructed mask you spend your whole life trying to perfect, wear it as it’s handed down from your predecessors: in Conor’s case, lilibet (passed down from my mum, she wears it so well, put it on my shoulders said it’s colder out there than you think/would I recognise myself, would anybody else, if I took the damn thing off and burned it up?) who does make the frivolity and politics of being queen into her whole personality. She’s equally a pitiable and annoying character for that. 

But as for Conor? He’s a Cassandra Clare Created (TM) young man. Of course he can’t quite manage this kind of sugar coat business. The politeness, the etiquette, the little social dances: he longs for real connection (and now we’re back in empty wallets territory, get you high when I’m high, so we see eye to eye: to me this sums out how he makes connections with those who are nowhere near his equals but he wants to have some sort of equal footed connection with: Kel and *[redacted minor spoiler, see below cut]). He’s snapping from the pressure of it, and that’s exactly the kind of driving force for the narrative Cassie uses excellently. We see him coming undone, and hate it (or at least I do) but hope maybe, maybe it’s the path for liberation for him from the life that’s obviously making him (more) depressed (than he otherwise might be), and as the audience we don’t care if the kingdom burns down for this, as long as it doesn’t cause too much collateral damage. And we know it’s going to be a wild ride to get there. 

I don’t reckon this is obvious to everyone else but it is to me, with my experience of Christianity and life and just everything that if you’re a leader in any way, you’re a better leader for being liberated in yourself, having autonomy and appropriate boundaries and Conor has none of that and he’s coming undone and yes there’s a lot of other characters (who I will post about later) with their own arcs and A LOT going on (seriously it’s so deliciously complex and so much more so than tsc ever was with maybe the exception of tec which is kind of adult fantasy anyway). But oh. She really knows how to deliver, all through the first book and I can’t wait to see what the next one has to offer!! And to me the characterisation of Conor is just proof on how expertly the whole world of Castellane and it’s stories is being carried out. 

BIG GAP CAUSE CUT ISNT WORKING

*and Lin later on, kind of

tagging: @daisymylove and feel free to mention anyone who might like it in comments/reblogs!

[jungshookz]

cee omg you could literally write a drabble about uni!yoongi making out with yn and i would literally die

➺ pairing; min yoongi x reader

➺ genre; uni!yoongiverse!! nsfw i think?? i’m not sure?? what do u call it if it’s simultaneously smut and not smut at the same time.,,. smaybe smut,,. smalmost smut,..  smerhaps smut,.,. 

➺ wordcount: 1.5k is this a baby drabble??? idk i’m counting it as a regular drabble 

➺ what to expect; “i’m going to need you to shut up now, please.”

➺ optional reading: not necessary but feel free to read some other drabbles from the uni!yoongiverse!

➺ note; this was originally a baby drabble (literally was only going to be a couple of sentences at the moST) but i got carried away so here we are :D also i wrote this while my professor was in the background talking about 16th century literature on zoom and now it’s a genuine concern for me as to whether or not ancient literature is my aphrodisiac 

                                   »»————-　♡　————-««

you never really know how yoongi does it

every time you tell yourself that this time, you won’t let yourself be distracted by your boyfriend, it’s only three seconds later that you find yourself straddling him on the couch with your hands all over him

and theN when you tell yourself that you’ll only entertain him for ten minutes maximum before getting back to work he does that dumb boyish smirk and head tilt thing (“you sure you wanna go back to your textbook?”) that makes your knees all wobbly and your tummy all warm and before you know it your poor textbooks have been abandoned on the coffee table

one time you even left a marker uncapped and when you came back an hour later it was all dRY

yoongi dipped it into a glass of water in a poor attempt to revive it but it was too late

(he bought u a set of new markers from the bookstore on campus to make up for it)

“do you- mm- do you wanna hear about the classes i’m taking this semester?” you pull away and reach up to adjust your glasses that are now a little wonky considering the fact you and yoongi have been kissing for- has it already been twenty minutes?!

what happened to your ten minute rule??

yoongi rolls his eyes playfully before nodding, “go for it, dork-” he snorts before nudging his nose against your chin to get you to tilt your head back

he knows that if he says no you’re going to whinE about it for the entire time he’s groping you on the sofa so he might as well let you get it off your chest

“okay, so i’m taking this super cool literature course on trauma-“ you hum as you wrap your arms loosely around yoongi’s neck

yoongi starts to press warm kisses against your jaw while his hand slides down from your waist so that he’s gripping the side of your thigh, “mm, yeah? sounds cool.”

“it’s so super cool!” you gasp excitedly, “and the professor is super nice - i mean, she’s a little ditzy with zoom, but that’s to be expected - oh, anD she has purple hair, which automatically makes her the coolest professor ever-” you absentmindedly shift in yoongi’s lap and he grunts when you grind down against him in the process

also

side note

(not that he’s not paying attention to what you’re saying right now, but it’s pretty hard to noT focus on the fact that he’s currently kissing up on his very pretty girlfriend)  

he was never really into dry humping before you came along

you guys don’t do it as often considering the fact that now,.,. now u can just have plain ol sex buT sometimes you’ll get into it if you’re on a tight schedule or something

like the other night yoongi had some dinner plans with a couple of friends (aka going to town on 5 XL pizzas in a grubby frat house) but yoU, for some reason, decided that while he was in the middle of putting his shoes on, that was the perfect time to tell him that you wanted to play

“the last person who gets there has to take out the garbage, and i am noT going to take out the garbage again-“

“but don’t you like it when i grind on you wearing just your sweatshirt?”

yoongi pauses in the middle of tying his laces

so yeah

he was the last one to arrive at the frat house which meant he was on garbage duty but it was totally worth it

and yeah, he supposes dry humping is typically something that only a couple of hormonal prepubescent teenagers would be into but.,,. with you, it’s just so,.,.., it’s so hot

he likes seeing you get so worked up over him when he hasn’t even taken any of his clothes off yet

his favourite is when he’s lying on his back and you’re on top just because he… likes it when you’re on top

there really isn’t a very deep explanation to his preference

it’s a nice view! sue him!

he also likes when you place your hands on his chest

you say it’s because it helps keep you from falling off but he knows you just like touching him there

and right as you’re about to cum, your fingers always twitch and he likes the feeling of your nails digging into the thick fabric of his hoodies

not to mention, he loves seeing your reactions whenever he starts talking dirty to you because your cheeks and the tips of your ears get super red and usually you get all quiet and whimpery but there’s always a fire in your eyes like you’re ready to rip all of his clothes off

like there was one time he actually just wanted to tease you just to see how far he could go (you weren’t paying any attention to him because your stupid nose was stuck in your stupid books as per usual and he was getting really bored) and he’d never seen you so needy before

“yeah? you like it when i talk to you like this?” yoongi coos and bites back a grin when you buck your hips against him with a pitiful whine slipping past your lips

he presses his palm flat against your hip to keep you from moving, “aw, what’s the matter, baby? need me?” yoongi pushes his bottom lip out in a mocking pout as he hooks a finger into the waistband of your skirt before giving it a playful tug

“yoongi, please-“ you prop yourself up on your elbows before leaning up to try to get yoongi to kiss you

he’s been dodging your kisses for the past five minutes which he’s been really enjoying because you look awfully cute when you frown at him like that

and to make matters worse (for you, duh! not him >:-)) he knoWs you really really like kissing him

yoongi nearly snorts when he notices you looking at him like you’re about to skin him alive

he totally gets it because he’s basically blue-balling you

it’s nice to be on the other side of the situation for once!

no wondER you do it all the time

“yoongi.” you clear your throat and he raises a brow

“mhm?”

“i don’t know what kind of game you’re playing here, but-“ you poke your finger against his chest, “in three seconds, i’m going to get on my hands and knees for you - and i want you to push my skirt up, tug my panties to the side, and fuck me. please fuck me.”

yoongi’s eyes widen in surprise and he pulls back a little

you very rareLY use swear words on a daily basis - in fact, you usually scold him when he brings his potty mouth into your apartment - so he’s not used to you dropping the f-bomb so casuall-

“did i mention i started taking birth control?”

yoongi’s mouth immediately goes dry

“-also taking a literature class on shakespeare, which is really bringing me back to high school-“ yoongi snaps out of his little trip down memory lane when he feels you shift on his lap again

okay well

he was like 5% horny earlier but now that the gates of his spank bank have basically flung wiDE open it’s safe to say that he’s roughly… 98% horny?

maybe a little more

maybe like 150% horny

you could flick his forehead and he would have a mind-blowing orgasm - that’s how horny he is. 

it’s not his fault!!! 

blame the spank bank!!! 

“and- oh!” you find yourself flopping back on the couch and staring up at the ceiling all of a sudden and you blink quickly as your brain attempts to catch up to what the hecK is happening right now 

“i’m going to need you to shut up now, please.” yoongi’s face pops up in front of your eyes and your eyes widen when he drags you down towards him until his very obvious bulge is pressing right up against your centre

you feel your face flush bright red and you find yourself struggling to come up with anything to say because a second ago you were literally talking about william frickin shakespeare, “but-”

“here’s what’s going to happen-“ yoongi tugs his sweatshirt up over his head, “first, i’m gonna go down on you,” he tosses it aside before leaning over and placing both hands on either side of your head, the thin silver chain hanging around his neck dangling down, “and then we’re gonna fuck-”

“language!” you say on instinct and yoongi immediately snorts

that’s pretty rich coming from you, miss flip-my-skirt-up-and-fuck-me-now 

“and you know, since i’m feeling particularly generous today,” he ignores your comment about his oh-so inappropriate language, “i’ll gladly let you choose how we boink-”

(you end up riding him which we all know is the decision yoongi is more than happy with.)

help me help you make your wishes come tru (aka send me a request)

requested drabbles masterlist

[krosaceae]

1, 3, 5, 15 :)

Fanfic Writer Questions! Feel free to send me an ask :)

Thanks a ton for the ask! I'll be answering all these in regards to Barriers, quite possibly the world's most self-indulgent Graire fic (Read on AO3 or FFN)

1. If you had to create a soundtrack for your story, what songs would you choose? Why?

Damn, this is so hard considering how much music I listen to while writing/planning Barriers. I do name my chapters after songs that inspired me while writing said chapter, so I figure my soundtrack would end up being those songs. 

There are over 20 songs on that bad boy, and I already feel like this post is going to be long, so you can view/listen to the playlist HERE! I’ll continue updating it as I post new chapters :-)

As for why I picked these songs… or really why I pick any of the songs on any of my playlists. It’s all about the feels, how the music and the lyrics come together to take me to a place I need to go to be creative. You know the feel you get when you listen to a song, and it just reminds you of an emotion, a place, a memory, etc.? I’m not sure if that makes sense lol, but the mood that a song creates in my little Brain World helps me find words to put on the page. Music a lot of the time helps interface Brain Scenes into Written Word, and these songs above did just that… and happened to have names that I enjoyed as chapter titles lmao. 

Either way, I do have some Barriers playlists that I will shamelessly plug here.

Gray’s playlist

Claire’s playlist

The ~Graire~ playlist

Rest is under the cut because ya girl went in hehe

3. If you had to direct a scene from your fic, what would you choose? Why? What would it look like? What techniques would you use to convey certain emotions? What would the set look like?

Oooh. Hands down Chapter 8, the Fireworks Festival, particularly when Gray finds out that Claire’s pregnant. AH. Such an emotional scene and I would love to take advantage of the fireworks in the background. I’ll be honest that I don’t watch very many movies, and I’m not a director in the slightest, so I have no idea what the fuck I’m talking about.

So obviously our set is Claire’s farm at night. I imagine everything dark and quiet outside, the only light being Claire’s house. Almost shooting that bitch like a scary movie at first because like, Gray is terrified and I’d want viewers to feel that same way.

When Gray finally finds Claire and she’s on the verge of losing her shit, you zoom in on the tears, the soaked blanket, just Claire’s general state of disarray (which at this point, is out of character for the way she's presented herself) the way she grips Gray’s shirt, etc. And once she finally starts talking I picture the camera just focused on the two of them, because Gray is on the edge of his seat waiting to find out what the fuck is going on and doesn’t see ANYTHING else. Plus the booming fireworks going off in the back just as the situation is getting more intense. Claire would say that she’s pregnant and then the screen would go black lmao.

5. What makes your main ship so compatible? Or, what makes them so incompatible? What do they see in each other?

Oooh. This is complicated, because right now where I’m currently at in the fic it could go either way. As much as I would LOVE to spoil everything, I’m going to speak only for where I’m at in the story.

Gray and Claire are quite compatible at their best, v incompatible at their worst. When the two of them both get out of their head and are real with the other, they work well together. Both are sarcastic, sassy, witty, and have similar senses of humor. They both appreciate the value of hard work and dedication to their craft, and overall, want to be successful in life by their own means. In addition to liking the way the other makes them feel and just like… generally finding the other attractive, I think Claire and Gray admire the other’s drive and passion to some degree. They feel like having someone like that around them (whether it be a friend or… y’know, something else >.>) helps them stay on track. Additionally, some of the things they experienced before moving to town, in addition to experiencing the whole pregnancy thing together, helps them connect and understand each other in ways that maybe others around them can’t. Neither of them likes to be judged, so at times this is conducive to them feeling safe enough to confide things in the other that they may not do with anyone else.

However, Claire and Gray are both also really fucking good at building walls (Hence the name of the fic lol.) and spend a lot of time either hiding, running, or pushing people away. At their worst, their relationship is a grease fire. Both have a tendency to mask how they’re actually feeling for various reasons, despite both of them ALSO valuing honesty from others. It's the hypocrisy for me. Claire’s gut reaction is usually to tell people what she thinks they want to hear, lying for the sake of self-preservation because GOD FORBID she be rejected or be perceived negatively. Gray’s gut reaction is to do or say nothing. He fears vulnerability and doesn’t want to be seen as weak, so if he’s not consciously thinking about it, he’s going to say and do whatever will keep the illusion that he’s got it together. Which is just usually acting unbothered and pushing everything down until he’s beyond bothered. The main issue is that they both also say and do things they don’t mean when upset, and it doesn’t help that for some reason Claire seems to really get under Gray’s skin, and vice versa. Their arguing styles are pretty combative, so without any framework for de-escalating the situation, shit can get pretty nasty between them. Especially when jealousy and other complicated feelings get involved. *Wink wink*

15. Pick a previous relationship (or multiple) of your character’s. Explain how that/those impact the way they navigate their way through relationships now.

Hehe. I’d love to talk about Claire’s previous relationship(s), but I’m going to focus on Gray because he’s the main character and like, major spoilers.

Gray and Mary though. Ah. What a beautifully confusing clusterfuck. There was a lot of push/pull in Mary and Gray’s relationship, and it's intentionally confusing in the fic. Idk if any of you have ever had a friend that you’re really close with, one that you’re crazy about, and you know they like you too, but for whatever reason, they don’t actually want to be exclusive or make it official? Whatever the kids are calling it nowadays. But like yeah. Both loved having the other around and hated the idea of losing them to someone else, even if they couldn’t have them. So on top of their actual friendship was a ‘relationship’ based on impulsive, desperate acts of affection, wobbly boundaries, and evading any actual conversations about it all.

For that reason, Gray is determined to be more open about how he’s feeling rather than sucking it up for the sake of not being lonely. He’s trying to be more honest and expressive instead of holding it all in moving forward, as scary as it is for him. Gray’s relatively been a man of inaction in his relationships (even before Mary), and when he did act, it was usually backed by anger, alcohol, or both. Basically the dude is just trying to take control of his relationships rather than being a passenger.

WHEW. That was a blast! I definitely wrote too much but I super appreciate the ask! <3

[immortalled]

A lengthy review on Misfits S3E1: I already gave some of my thoughts here last night, but I have a few fresh points and wanted to clarify some of the old ones. Below I discuss my thoughts on Rudy, Rudy’s “splits”, a little bit about how I feel he compares to Nathan, the episode as a whole, and what I hope the next episodes will bring.

On Rudy... At first I was a little bothered that the first episode primarily revolved around him rather than the OG gang, but I don’t mind it so much on a second watch. It makes sense that Overman would want to focus on him since he’s going to become a prominent member of the team. The episode really tried to pack a lot of information about him in an forty-six minutes, but, while I think the whole Alisha problem could have been handled less abruptly, it’s well done for its time limit.

I can’t judge Rudy’s humor or character too much after only one episode, but from this one alone, I’m not a fan of his style of banter. It’s not that there’s really anything wrong with it, he’s not any more disgusting than Nathan was (especially nearer the end of season 2), it’s just... different. I don’t care for being repeatedly reminded about his preferences in bed and his brand of obnoxious is a little less endearing than Nathan’s, in my opinion. He’s more awkward and less self-assured about his humor than Nathan was, and while that isn’t a bad thing (and I’m glad, actually, that he’s different in that way) it does feel... forced? Less funny? Try hard? I think it’s something that will take some getting used to. So far, that’s the only thing that bugs me about him. It feels like he’s trying to fill Nathan’s comedic role and he’s juuuust not quite making it work.

However! I do still find his character interesting and I’m excited to see where he goes. I don’t want to keep comparing him to Nathan because I don’t think they’re “the same character” at all, but for the purposes of critiquing how Rudy fills in for Nathan and what new dynamic I hope he brings to the main cast, I’m going to.

I think that the vulnerability that Rudy shows is something that Nathan’s character would have really benefitted from. Nathan has shown that he’s insecure and perhaps not as happy as he pretends, similar to Rudy, but with Rudy, these feelings run much deeper. So deep, in fact, that his power is the ability to split into two people: the confident, devil-may-care side which is him at his happiest (or perhaps just the mask that he wears) and the insecure, heavily depressed and more introspective side (the side he wishes he didn’t have). I almost see him as Nathan’s opposite power-wise; where Nathan’s power was most likely born out of a genuine love for existing and a natural sense of invulnerability and confidence, Rudy’s seems to be born out of a fear of living with himself, and, perhaps, a fear of living at all.

The way Rudy’s splits bicker and even going so far as attempting to hurt the other is an intriguing glimpse into his inner thoughts. Where we sometimes had to hold a magnifying glass up to Nathan to see his hurt (his more emotion-heavy episodes aside), Rudy has it all out on display for the audience. We don’t wonder if Rudy struggles with his sexuality or suicidal thoughts, or whether or not he loves or hates himself, his internal turmoil literally manifests itself into two different people. I kinda love that. My only concern is that this will be swept under the rug like Nathan’s sexual abuse, Alisha’s self-worth problems, Kelly’s insecurity and mistrust toward men, etc. Overman is surprisingly good at giving us delicious bits of insight into why characters behave the way they do, stuff that could really deepen their stories and be really fascinating and sometimes tragic to explore... and then... he never commits? I’m worried that now that Rudy and Alisha have “made up”, that his feelings toward her will have entirely been washed away and seeing her with Simon will no longer bother him. Or that he’ll somehow be less depressed because whoop, look, she apologized! I suppose I’ll find out soon enough.

On the OG cast... Gosh, it is SO hard to look at them as the same characters now that they all have different powers. I’m trying very hard not to let it color my opinions on the show moving forward, but, man. What a terrible move. I think it’s fair to have Alisha sell her power from a character standpoint, and I can see why Curtis’ power would be a problem writing-wise because all problems could simply be retconned and retconning is generally a sign of poor writing (*coughs* if you know *coughs* you know... *cough!*), but overall it feels like a sloppy way to try to keep the show more interesting. I wish that he had kept the idea that their powers were evolving and let their powers change that way. Maybe Kelly could have become completely telepathic, or used her ability to go into people’s minds and alter their perceptions of reality? Maybe Curtis could have eventually been able to control his time travel and could have taken people with him? Imagine the gang literally going back in time and hanging out in Victorian London! Or zooming into the future! It could’ve been cool. But I digress.

Besides their power change, I don’t have a lot to say about the gang. They feel mostly the same, save for Simon. He doesn’t feel wrong, per se, I’m very happy with his glow up and his little moments with Alisha are sweet, but I don’t know how I feel about him “glowing up” so quickly. Am I mourning his creepy awkwardness because it made him more interesting? Or is it a result of shoe-horning him into a superhero figure last second? Who knows. I only wish that he could be a little less cool. The fact he looks disgusted at Rudy yet didn’t seem to mind Nathan boggles me, too. Some people might say that Simon/Nathan is a stretch, and it might be, but... IDK, I’m just... I’m just sayin’...

I also don’t quite know how I feel about the gang just letting Rudy in on their secret so easily? Or Simon’s flat? They’ve just met this guy and because he says he’s cool with powers, they welcome him into their group, no problem? I understand that they become tangled up with Rudy’s trouble thanks to Tanya, but taking him to what is essentially their hideout seems like something that should have happened once they were sure they could trust Rudy. 

Overall... It definitely throws a lot at you and the pacing feels a little aggressive in that sense, but it’s not bad. I enjoyed it more than I thought I might. I appreciated Simon’s protectiveness over Alisha and how honest he is with her, as well as the small nods to Nathan throughout the episode (using his wheelchair plan to dispose of the bodies was a nice touch in particular). The episode definitely wasn’t as bad as I thought it would be and while I am somewhat apprehensive going forward, I am excited to see how the show uses Rudy and how he falls into place with the rest of the gang.

[twiddlebirdlet]

Inbox Collective Part I

Anonymous said: People are saying we should be happy because Chris looks happy. Looking happy and actually being happy are two different things. Yeah, he’s smiling in those pics but IS he happy? That’s the most important question. He said once before he’s a terrible liar and while I do believe he may have tells, he’s a talented actor, which means he I’m sure he can fake it good enough when be needs to. This is the same man who hid his face while out his fam at Disney now he’s facing the camera? 💁🏾‍♀️ LOL

Anonymous said: I hope whatever Chris is getting out of this arrangement is worth it because he looks like a joke now

Anonymous said: Here’s the thing, I wouldn’t actually mind if they were real. I’d support it and think it’s cute. But everything they’re doing looks fake and staged to the max. You never know, they could be Ben/Ana or Shawn/Camila 2.0 where it seemed fake, but turned out to be real, or Tom Hiddleston/Taylor Swift where it was clearly PR. Only time will tell. However, I do think it’s ironic that Tom/Taylor happened around the time Tom was nominated for a Globe, and won. Chris’ team def wants that Emmy nod.

Anonymous said: JS said in Vulture that he is extremely a private person and here he is doing poses for the paps in the middle of a pandemic lol. I thought MK was the girl who will call paps on them I guess here is Lily lol.

Anonymous said: Niall Horan said if you dont want to be papped you will not be papped. This photo reeks PR stunt. Taylor and Tom already did this back then when he is about to be nominated in emmys 🤣 I guess this one is way worse than Minka.

Anonymous said: you saw video 🤣 !! Backgrid said it was yesterday July 7, not today 😂🤣 DailyM they you left so bad as always 🤣 and they killed your article love in the park with the video 🤣🤣😂

Anonymous said: Srsly. They shouldve brought in the professionals to handle this. Did a table read. "Block the shot (set up up their positions, actions, etc)" at the hotel. Fincher, DuVernay, Joon-hoo. Or maybe Apatow since this and his life is a "big dumb comedy." His words. 😉

Anonymous said: For his next pap walk, I would suggest him making some training and some chemistry test before. Just the looks of him and the actress can sell the stuff for the public (who will not give a second thought after seeing that) but the older stans that will follow him through the years, will see through it quickly.

Anonymous said: Never thought we would reach another low level after JS.

Anonymous said: The fucker always walks like that when he knows he’s being watched. I can’t deal hahahah SO PR 🤣😂

Anonymous said: I could've lived without the video. It was bizarre. The ice cream eating was aggressive lol😂. Idc what anyone says they aren't comfortable around each other. She actively swung out of the way to avoid touching him while walking. They should've built up reporrt before public outings. But I guess Chris' time is limited like they bought his time along with the daily mail package. I feel like this is going to be very t swift hiddleston. He won't ever live it down and when asked insist it was real.

Anonymous said: I wonder how hard they’ll try to sell this crap in the coming weeks/months when it’s obvious that they’re trying so hard right now that they’re massively failing lol

Anonymous said: I kinda got a feeling after Saturdays pap stroll things fell through and after getting dragged for not wearing masks, and that this is damage control and he’s just not that into her. Especially with the watermelon thing paired with the weird body language. Like it seems so, odd.

Anonymous said: To the other anon questioning watermelon talking: Acting is actually quite ridiculous. If you saw hot things look on set, you would not be in awe. Everything is exaggerated and fake. It all comes together in editing. Most of the big actors I’ve seen on set often look quite silly in the moment.

Anonymous said: Biiiitch can you imagine? Lily: *licks ice cream* Hey Chris, watermelon. Chris: *licks ice cream* Haha, watermelon. Anyway all this just truly gets me thinking about if he does one day end up with a girlfriend and keeps it on the down low, is he willing to continue these types of publicity stunts. He has said in interviews that he wants to settle down and have kids but I think if that was something he truly wanted he could find it. I don’t think he’s ready to give up the Hollywood game just yet

Anonymous said: to the anon who said they would find chris and lily saying random words silly- they could be talking about how stupid the fans who buy this are and how many "cute couple"s and" they're adorable together"s they're gonna get after this cringe fest. or maybe she told him how she'd staged this to get rid of the "lily james snorting powder in a park" images that come up first on google search and she's happy he agreed 😏 for whatever reason none of us knows (yet)

Anonymous said: So they not even have a real conversation? Whoa 😲 this show getting worse every minute

Anonymous said: (Diff anon, I’ll use 🔅 as my marker for when I send in) As an actress upcoming in the industry watermelon talking is probs the first thing you learn in scene work if you’re a backdrop/extra/filler. This looks extremely staged and I’ve had training for dealing with paps/how to look and act when paps are around. Also notice how they’re “faced out”. If you’re an actor you know how to face your body outwards towards “the crowd” to get a good shot. They’re sitting to get perfectly photographed.

Anonymous said: I'm pretty sure I read on here or maybe elsewhere "We're not going to find out who his future girlfriend is based on who he follows on Twitter." Well technically I guess that's true :D Also we were dismissive of any chance of him and that athlete because she lives in Canada, and yet he was willing to go to the UK.

Anonymous said: They look like two people who are trying to ACT like they don’t want to be noticed and be all nonchalant but in fact they know the whole purpose of being there is to be noticed. It’s an act, pure and simple.

Anonymous said: The way they are eating their ice cream in saying one word between two licks is so weird! One strick tongue, one word, one strick tongue, one word. First time i see people eat like that. In a normal universe you talk and time to time you eat. You make break between. And are eating them so quickly. And Chris doesn't see to be the kind of man who lay down the grass like that. They are a big joke.

hagarsays said: But also we don’t know what’s happening behind the scenes maybe there is something going on between them we don’t know but saying this whole thing is stage well maybe it is but also what happen if they are dating and they are making it official now I’m not trying to start a fight or anything this is just what o think

Anonymous said: I'm feeling second hand embarrassment from all of this. Even if it seems it's working for his mentions on twitter.

Anonymous said: Me on Monday: Chris, where is 😷; me on wedneday afternoon: Chris, what 😯🤔🙄; me on wednesday night: oh, Chris 😂🤣🙈🤦‍♀️

Anonymous said: Maybe this whole things is the "work" he traveled across the ocean for…

Anonymous said: This is hiddleswift 2.0 😂

Anonymous said: Two PROFESSIONAL actors can’t fake one date. He really think he will be nominated for Emmy? Go back to Concord Youth theatre and learn some lessons how to look like you on a real date.

Anonymous said: For me what sold this as a PR move (no matter whether they get romantically involved with each other for real or not) is not just the fact of the timely pics and vid from BackGrid but usually when celebrities are "unknowingly"/ "unexpectedly" papped almost immediately you find fan pics of their sightings all over the place. But that's not on their case.

Anonymous said: I’m imagining a Ben and Ana situation where we get pap pics of Chris and Lily in Boston and Chris’s niece and nephews are running around with a Lily James cutout 🤣

Anonymous said: celebrities as big as chris and lily have incredibly talented teams... youre telling me BOTH TEAMS were unable to properly hide them from the paparazzi??? nah, they definitely wanted to be seen.

Anonymous said: That video has my DYING😂😂😂 y’all are actors do better😂😂

Anonymous said: At first I was mad at Chris for this shit he made, but after that video I can’t wait for more. THIS IS THE BEST COMEDY SHOW. Chris please don’t stop, give us more material to lost respect for you.

Anonymous said: Something that I always found attractive on Chris is the fact that although he played the PR game, it was subtle and he never looked thirsty. For me, the paps pics used to be a happy occasion to see him. Now he looks... thirsty? Still not on the same level of other celebs but it seems he took the first steps to reach that low. I have nothing to say about Lilly. That is her thing, she is just doing more of the same. And she is definitily not alone on this.

Anonymous said: He might hate having to do this, but he's choosing to, and not even bothering to *try* to look into her. That video made it glaringly clear that it's all pr

Anonymous said: I feel like you don’t want him and lily James to date Idk why

Anonymous said: I’m so sorry but this is not a real relationship. That video and these park pics really did it for me. I can’t stop laughing at this spectacle I feel like this is more Megan for damage control

Anonymous said: that video makes it look so staged even the way they are sitting. Wonder what will be next?

Anonymous said: I think these pics were taken on Saturday the day after. It has been wet in London (good ole British summer) and they would not be sitting on wet grass. Does scream PR. Chris will have to be returning soon to US for his ASP launch unless he zooms from London. Sill can’t believe he would fly over for a hook up it has to be work related as will.

Anonymous said: What’s going to happen if they come out and say they been dating you still not going to believe them you will still think it’s PR

Anonymous said: Also if they wanted this whole thing to be PR they would have started a long time go before DJ came out I really think they are dating like we can never know what happens behind close time

Anonymous said: I don’t even know which parts of that video more funny. That awkward ice cream licking while paps shouting or that awkward walk like two strangers. And some people really think these two are real life prince and princess love story.

Anonymous said: I feel like we are all jumping to conclusions with this whole lily and Chris situation but MAYBE JUST MAYBE they are really dating

Anonymous said: I feel embarrassed for them in these photos. No offense I don’t mean to come off rude. But this is so staged. I thought maybe this was real but a video I’m sorry there was a purpose for this

Anonymous said: There nothing wrong with the video the paparazzi is being so nosey you acting like they are staring at the camera but they are not they are just talking

Anonymous said: They look more interested in their ice creams than each other 🤣. Why didn't Jenny get this treatment? At least Minka got a few pap walks.

Anonymous said: There nothing wrong with the video the paparazzi is being so nosey you acting like they are staring at the camera but they are not they are just talking

Anonymous said: Oh yeaaaah, they seem super natural and in love in that video 🙄🙄🙄🙄

Anonymous said: Is there any possibility that they are genuinely dating/having a fling but are using it for PR at the same time? Or are perhaps just fwb?

Anonymous said: I know this is a weird thought, but her clutching the hotel bag felt like her guilty conscience speaking. If she really had slept with him, she wouldn’t be so desperate to prove it. Maybe I’m wrong, though. He flew all that way, he might as well get something out of it, since he’s killing his reputation. I thought I actually heard a story about him laughing at the TS drama on the avengers set. Oh, how the tables have turned.

Anonymous said: Do you think there’s any possibility they’re just starting out dating or just friends with benefits maybe?

Anonymous said: Someone on Twitter said Lily begins filming something later this month? Hopefully this nonsense won't last for long. He's sort of flushing away his credibility and good will by pulling such stunts when so may people are going through such hardships and tragedy. It's so insensitive and out of touch. Especially if this is all for an Emmy nom. That award belongs to Mark Ruffalo anyway.

Anonymous said: I would pay all my money to see Scott’s reaction watching those pictures from the park. I think he’s second hand embarrassed for his brother. Or maybe Chris will get some lessons how yo look more natural on their next date.

Anonymous said: I agree with you. Celebs can't scream "my privacy", "leave me alone", or "ugh, LA" (as Chris said once in an interview) when they are doing this kind of thing. That are actors and actresses who never used this kind of tool or are rarely papped and manage to have a good career. But maybe those are the more talented, that get screenplays at their doors? Or the ones who truly give a sh*t about fame?

Anonymous said: So we've decided all this PR probably isn't for ASP, and maybe it's for the Emmys, even though it's a long shot he'll be nominated, and he definitely won't win. That's a hell of a lot of hassle to go through. And I still don't get why it was necessary to go to the UK for this when he could've been papped with an American actress. Is it just because it'll be easier to break up with her when the charade is over? Long-distance, conflicting schedules etc.

Anonymous said: First time of his pap walk career I see Chris watching paparazzi. Not one made unintentionally but a few! And in laughing! He never did it with Minka, he lowered his head or acted usually, same with Jenny and their airport pics, just the time to order a taco or get their bags back but now he watches the camera, exposed during maybe one hour?

Anonymous said: I heard that today it is raining in London! people who live there mentioned it !! So maybe these photos were not really from today

Anonymous said: There’s always been something I’ve disliked about Lily, I’m usually really into actresses but with her there’s just something that is off-putting, perhaps cold or clout chasing etc. Do you know what I mean? I can’t exactly put my finger on it but my guesses/feelings/thoughts about famous individuals and people in general usually turn out to be correct without fail.

Anonymous said: I’m a Trevor Noah fan! How do y’all know him and Minka are dating?👀

Anonymous said: Why I want to know is why Chris would do this with Lily of all people, she’s so not his type from what he’s said but he’s also said that that goes out the door when you meet someone. They don’t seem to have anything really in common other than acting? Do they have any shared likes, he’s known for being really politically involved and she doesn’t, he seems a big animal lover but she doesn’t. Anything else you’d like to add? 😂

Anonymous said: Someone needs to create an account like that Ana de armas update account on twitter soon if this keeps going the way it is...

Anonymous said: So I’ve got a really really good intuition/sixth sense it’s actually quite scary. I can usually guess correct on things that happen months before they actually do or pick up on people’s changes etc. I have an uneasy feeling about Chris and Lily together, something doesn’t seem natural or adding up to me.

Anonymous said: I find this whole thing just odd. I think celebrities are so used to being at the forefront of news outlets that with the virus and movements they are doing really desperate things for attention and it’s almost humorous.

Anonymous said: Is it just me or was lily distant like alway looking away , and towards the paps ?

Anonymous said: I guess it’s safe to say this sh**how is going to get worse before it gets better (and less fake?)

Anonymous said: You said : “As for ASP, I don’t think he gives a crap about that at this point.” That’s kind of sad, seeing that he put so much effort into it, maybe that’s we’re all this comes from.

hagarsays said: Wait Chris probably went to London after he did his pre-recorded stuff for variety,deadline and 92y

Anonymous said: If i was chris’ PR, i would def not want this PR stunt to be bc we’re pushing for an emmy nom. Thats just tasteless & not the mark of a “serious” actor like chris wants to be. He made a mistake ignoring the deadline interview (unretweeting) bc it is just one of the few big ways that could get ppl taking him seriously bc it was MATURE. Lowkey weird to be 39 & doing classless PR stunts w/ an actress who isnt down to settle like he seems to want

Anonymous said: US said same thing as dm. I do not confirm the relationship between them again! that leaves me a lot to think about 🤔

Anonymous said: I’m confused. You do think that yes they are a real couple or no they’re not and it’s just PR?

Anonymous said: Def agree with you about ASP. Now it seems like he didn’t even give a shit. Some would think someone who wants to be taken seriously with his political website he would stay lowkey and wouldnt pull a PR bullshit but here we are. I guess Emmy nom is more important. Also guys its not about fans its about general public. The more ppl talk about him the more getting a nod from Emmy. Cuz the award shows need audience and if the ppl they nominate has new ppl interested in them it means more watchers!

Anonymous said: What post did he like that mentioned him? Was this on Twitter? What did the post say? Very confused and speculative rn bc this seems so staged.

Anonymous said: I can't wait till the paps 'accidentally' catch them strolling around Concord 😂

Anonymous said: Is that a new necklace Chris has, the pendant looks bigger than the usual one or is it just me. Also noticed the gold watch 😳

Anonymous said: Reminds me of hiddleswift that relationship started when he was in talks to get a GG. If we get lovey dovey pics i will be on the PR train. plus she has work scheduled for the fall and he’s kind of a homebody and she insta allowed in the country. So I don’t think it will last

Anonymous said: I’m confused about why get a cab to the park. Also it’s friggin cold here ATM. And many showers. Why bother.

Anonymous said: Mood, I'm not sure if it was you that mentioned that some of his friends posted pics on SM attending parties for 4th july. Analyzing all this situation I think that Chris and at least some of his friends can be entitled and irresponsible. He was even more irresponsible.

Anonymous said: This is backfiring on Chris big time. Some of his stans might be kissing his ass, but other people are pissed. The photos made it to ONTD and people are shitting on Chris real hard. And talking about Lily snorting it up in the park the other day IN THE MIDDLE OF A PANDEMIC. Those photos of Lily barely had any rotation and now people keep bringing them up. This is so stupid. Why would he do this now?

Anonymous said: Also, one last thing: I think this confirms that chris DEFINITELY has a type, and it has nothing to do with brunette hair, her own independence or a great ass. Instead, his type really does seem to be basic, emotionally needy and fame thirsty actress. Like, he's on chick #3 who seems desperately thirsty for media attention. It's a pattern ON HIS PART for sure. I don't think he really cares about privacy so much as he cares about being judged or seen in a negative way.

Anonymous said: all theses pics of Chris made me wonder why we never see any pap pics of him with his family I find a little strange cause they are very close

Anonymous said: It can't be just me that thinks that if the did indeed hook up this weekend or even before (where even is that theory coming from), then they'd at least look more comfortable around each other. Because you'd think the play would've been this park set up first and then the hotel stunt.

Anonymous said: Anyways, I wonder if Jenny is getting married soon? Because as soon as I saw the ice cream pics, my first thought was: oh, I see, so jenny's wedding must be coming up soon... like this is a kind of petty revenge on his part. He's just such a dumbass that he fucked it up by forgetting about the global pandemic. Doh! I may be crazy, but my intuition about stuff like that is very often on point.

Anonymous said: Idk why but i feel like maybe Michelle introduces them since lily and Michelle worked on downton Abby and Chris and Michelle worked on defending Jacobs maybe that’s how they meet or got introduced

Anonymous said: They went to the park so whenever you Google "Lily James Park" you get these pictures w/ Chris instead of the ones of her snorting whatever it was she was snorting the other day.

Anonymous said: Worse than that, wasn't the post actually criticizing/mocking him? So he reads. He's OBVI on board with this, so of course he's checking for or is being informed of it's reception in real-time. His "Old man yells at sky" spiel abt mod tech doesn't jibe w his deleting a couple of tone deaf tweets (months aft his mentions/comments were in shambles), getting "caught" liking/unliking at lightning speed, etc. He reads, he just responds subtly: Dodger content, blue hearts, got snippy in a kids video.

Anonymous said: It still sucks that he did this when people are literally dying due to Covid19. Surely, their meet cute could have waited till things were better? I was supposed to fly to London later this year but can't because I'm not a wealthy white men with an abundance of privilege. It's like they are rubbing their privilege in our noses. Even if this is real, it's a terrible way to begin things. Makes them both look careless and selfish.

Anonymous said: Why do you think Chris went on instagram Was it maybe to see what people thought out him and lily being together Or because he relieds he should of been wearing a mask , and wanting to see how people reacted to that

Anonymous said: What do you think is going on? I’m so confused as to whether they’re genuinely dating and whether they’ve been dating for a while or not, how they’re going to work the relationship- will she move or will he? Is it PR? She’s only been known lately for her Sky Mobile ads so publicity for her, and also the Backgrid stuff

Anonymous said: I think she called the paps at the hotel and now the morning after Chris is doing damage control with mask and ice cream. She is literally holding the hotel bag probably from the night before. To your point no way they would release his hotel

Anonymous said: Plus Lily has been papped multiple times since lockdown began. I don't she has ever been photographed in a mask. So this is a first for her. He obviously told her to wear one.

Anonymous said: I showed other people the pics, including someone NOT in the fandom, and they said it doesn’t look like a couple. It just looks like friends. None of the pics look “cozy”...he’s walking with his hands in his pockets and when his hands are out, they aren’t holding hands. They are just walking and talking like friends. And she looks directly in the camera again. She KNEW paps were there. It’s so staged it’s embarrassing 🤦‍♀️ Why would HE be okay with that? I thought he hated Minka doing that?

Anonymous said: dodger better be pissed about that shitty haircut. if chris was going to break quarantine anyway, what was it all for?

Anonymous said: The fact they went for a masked pap walk today totally shows they or their teams checked their mentions.

Anonymous said: Did they leave the park together in the taxi or just her?

Anonymous said: I guess that the mission was accomplished with the new pics. Anyone who dares to mention that there is still a pandem... STOP BEING JEALOUS!!!! CINAMOON ROLL IS JUST LIVING HIS LIFE! HE DESERVES IT!!! Wait, but he traveled from the country that has more cases... YOU ARE JEALOUS! HE NEVER DOES ANYTHING RIGHT FOR YOU BAD FANS THAT DON'T SUPPORT HIM! STOP! IT WILL HURT HIS FEELINGS!!!! LET ME CUDDLE MY CUTE 39 YEARS OLD BABY!!!!! But now on a serious note, I think I'm finally done with fandoms. Anonymous said: I’m confused about the timeline. The article says Wednesday but people who live in London say the weather is not consistent with the photos. It’s rainy and cold. Who rolls around in wet grass? But why lie about the day?

Anonymous said: Even if it’s not him checking what’s being said about him someone on his team is don’t be naive anon.

Anonymous said: She hasn’t been seen wearing one in public during the day until today...lol they knew to wear one

Anonymous said: Chris is wearing a bandana for dogs.... I was searching it up and yes it is for Dogs and it is the same pattern..... As a fan of taylor swift, this is basically the same with tom hiddlestone. A complete PR one lol. You can even clearly see it🤣🤣🤣

Anonymous said: Even if Chris wasn’t checking his mentions, his team definitely is. They are paid to do do. But he is checking 😉

Anonymous said: usa magazine said the same thing as daily M !! I do not confirm the relationship between them again! that leaves me a lot to think about?

Anonymous said: That fact that once again they are both looking into the camera has me rolling my eyes. You both are actors you are paid to NOT look into cameras🙄

Anonymous said: Times will tell if it's just a hook up or a serious relationship

Anonymous said: Wait did Megan courier that mask to him 😂

Anonymous said: i think chris needs to go home and have a serious think about his action maybe scott and mama evans can talk some sense into him

Anonymous said: it’s so strange that him and seb have this going on at the same time

Anonymous said: Damn. This all could have be done is such a cute and fairy tale way if they waited a little bit. But I guess overall people are liking and we are just a small piece of the internet. But in middle of a pandemic? Really gross for a "woke and political" bae. His privilege is showing.

Anonymous said: I’m sorry Minka dear for calling you the attention seeker who calls paps on you and Chris. I guess this one is the worse Lol.

Anonymous said: If this isn't for the Emmy nom, then I can't comprehend why he's doing this. Many people are saying "Oh, he's been seen too long without a public gf, he needed one." Okay, so why not find an actress in Boston, or NYC, or even L.A.? Do they have any managers or agents in common? This must be some kind of setup.

Anonymous said: What I really don’t get is why anyone is supposed to buy this stuff as real? Considering they live on different continents and in the long run, to paraphrase you a little, neither of them would likely to move. If anything, this doesn’t just look temporary, it looks tawdry and irresponsible. I have zero respect for either of them right now.

Anonymous said: did they leave the hotel only to have ice cream on park?

Anonymous said: There’s a picture of him holding her arm and one of her getting into the taxi. Looks like he followed her into it to me!

Anonymous said: both Chris and Scott have c*ke rumors about them and know he’s with a girl that has been rumored using drugs with a friends on a park what a great combo

Anonymous said: I always thought that fake relationships for PR are tacky, as using real relationships for PR is tacky (IMO). If this is fake, a hook up, or a real relationship in the beggining, being papped this way when he clearly knows how to avoid paps when he wants is tacky and cheap. And in the current moment that the world is, trash.

Anonymous said: The pictures are funny. The whole thing is funny

Anonymous said: This is giving me Bradley Cooper and Suki Waterhouse vibes. Down to the picnic in the park when they were reading Lolita. Also widely known as a PR setup to begin with and with similar star profiles (though Lily is more known than Suki was). At least someone on their staff picked up on the mask criticism. I agree it would be comical if we weren’t in the middle of a damn pandemic. But it very clearly had a distinct PR setup vibe.

Anonymous said: Do you guys noticed his watch? Completely different from what he normally wears. Actually, I think at his daily life, he doesn't wear watches.

Anonymous said: In other pics she’s looking directly at the camera

Anonymous said: I’m dying of cringe. People gave Ana de Armas so much shitty for being “thirsty”, bc you know, Chris is such a private person, but flashforward to July 2020 we have Evans eating ice cream and laying on the grass of a London park with Lily James during a pandemic. Hahahahaha. I honestly thought he could do better.

Anonymous said: It won’t even last lol, she is based in London. And this will end in a few months cuz of “hectic schedule and long distance” LOL.

Anonymous said: And if she was the ONE?

Anonymous said: I don’t know how he would manage a relationship where their in different counties and during a pandemic

Anonymous said: Remember the comments mentioning that there were no pics of Lilly entering the hotel and that maybe she stayed there just for being pictured? I wonder if the hotel bag was an answer for that? If the criticism about the masks were not unnoticed by them, to the point that for the first time she was pictured with a mask, I wonder if all this is answer for those comments and about her being treated as "dirty secret". Not damage control, but a way to control the narrative they want to sell.

Anonymous said: He’s not holding his chest while he laughs. So I don’t believe any of the pictures 😂

Anonymous said: Do u see this relationship lasting ?

Anonymous said: still from all these pictures they haven’t touched

Anonymous said: Is this on par behavior from Chris the last time he had a showmance with the other Lily?

Anonymous said: Something about this whole thing smells fishy. I just can’t put my figure on it. I have a deep feeling that this won’t last very long at all. Maybe even a month. For a new couple, they don’t seem affectionate at all. So weird honestly

Anonymous said: the one thing i can't wrap my head around is why now. I've heard rumors he has a website launch coming up? Maybe? Anybody? It really looks like he went abroad in the middle of a pandemic to see a girl. Sloppy management

Anonymous said: Being seen traveling just for fun during a pandemic shows not great judgement. Just a terrible idea to destroy any legitimacy or goodwill he had right before launching his already problematic and naive political website. Yikes.

Anonymous said: Maybe she watched DJ as Michelle is one of her friend and she sent message and that is the way all this mess started

Anonymous said: If they are dating good for them they make a cute couple but I think they way they have gone about it is not so great.

Anonymous said: I can’t even click the link you posted of the pictures cause that sneak pic I saw while I was scrolling... I cringed so hard 😬 I’m laughing honestly lol. idk if is the fact that he’s (they’re?) eating ice cream (and on a park? )or whatever, it looks so dumb to me lmao this is sending me 😂

Anonymous said: Do you think they’re actually dating then, Chris and Lily???

Anonymous said: Do you think it’s PR or real?

Anonymous said: lmfaooooo what a nice wholesome masked date in the park after being called out for no masks and looking tawdry

Anonymous said: surprise surprise the photos and the publisher are the same again

Anonymous said: Oh my goodness! Tell me he doesn’t pay attention to what’s being said about him. What a poseur. Ironically, the ET report started with celebrities like Tom Hanks stressing how important it is to stay home and wear masks. Chris is such an irresponsible jerk.

Anonymous said: 10+ pictures of them hanging for a while and none of them kissing??? Hmmm, sure Jan. They’re totally dating 🙄🙄

Anonymous said: Also, not to nitpick, but their body language doesn’t scream sex. They apparently slept together the first night, but it doesn’t show here. They should have reversed these pap walks.

Anonymous said: Chris never did that. it sure is PR

Anonymous said: This is looking more and more like the beginning stages of a relationship now. I can’t believe this is pr anymore. It seems to me like he flew to London to be with her and now they’re trying something new. I would hate for her to be the one he settles down with

Anonymous said: How do we know he’s trying to change his image, he seemed fine with how he was as far as it looked like from interviews. Have you read or heard something new about him out there?

______ said: What do you mean by'not friend zoned'? I don't get it.

Anonymous said: another blackgrid and DM exclusive. Why do this PR now?

Anonymous said: This is so staged lol.

Anonymous said: the mask in those new photos just proves he’s had one with him the entire time you wouldn’t get something like that in the uk

Anonymous said: this isn’t that deep. he was prolly there for something, has connections with her friend group, staged a walk, maybe hooked up. I would be surprised if they had been talking and dating for months. this was set up, him and Scott followed her at the same time. To your point zero pics of her inside and with her wandering around outside. Of course that was on purpose. she looks single and happy away from Matt and everyone is talking about Cpt. America & Cinderella. Just backfired and was too messy.

hagarsays said: So now that new pictures came out we can confirm they are dating now??

Anonymous said: anyone want to talk about his account previous username though joshpeck3030

Anonymous said: I’m not sure I buy him auditioning for her film. There’s a hierarchy in Hollywood. Bigger actors are usually offered roles first, and then the film is cast around them. He really hasn’t been the one up for a screen test in a long time. Like I said before, I work in this industry, and there’s a lot of ego. It is entirely possible, just highly unlikely.

Anonymous said: I wonder if we'll actually hear from Chris team closer to the weekend since it will have more impact for the weekend. Even if he was in on the pap walk it's nothing like Seb where both people actually look like they're together.

Anonymous said: What are carly & lisas instagrams? How do ppl know who follows who

Anonymous said: I think another thing to add is the JS said Chris likes to stay home and she would want to travel but he didn’t. He also said that he doesn’t like to travel in and interview. I don’t think that would change in the 2 years he’s been publicly single and 5 months in quarantine

Anonymous said: is it possible ce did some sort of screen test on like zoom or something for the paris trap before he came to the UK? idk about this whole thing. some people think because there are no pictures of lily in the hotel that she just came for the pictures then left after the paps left

Anonymous said: Makes me wonder if theres something wrong with hollywoods “most eligible” bachelors bc they’re single. If normal ppl can find love, they definitely can esp with how much exposure they get to love. Idk 🤒

Anonymous said: That Conversations at Home interview he did was dated 29th June. So he was definitely in the US last Monday.

Anonymous said: I know I'm going to get yelled at for this bc it's pap pics why does Chris look so angry in the last shots where Lily is on the other side of the gate/fence? He's also keeping alot of space from Lily at that point. Even in earlier pics he's not exactly walking next to her. I honestly don't think this was on Chris this time tbh.

Anonymous said: But what if the date was the work? If they’re setting up a long game PR relationship, maybe that’s why he went. If his next film is in London, he’ll be able to follow up with more daily mail stunts. Soon, he’ll have hey fever in the park with her friends.

Anonymous said: But logically if this wasn’t PR, which it is, this relationship would never work. The most i see is a causal summer hookup fling. She just got out of a 5 year relationship, l like JS and she lives across the pond. For someone the before the pandemic spent most of his time in MA I don’t see that changing. And lily is based in London and is an upcoming actress who, if she had to move to the states, would go to LA or NY. Not to mention mama Evans probably won’t like her “hay fever”

Anonymous said: some chris fans are so boring, we always talk about theories on fandom and it never hurt chris before. Sometimes this is entertainment, no one is hurting anyone, but there are some fans who pretend to be naive and love everything Chris does, but hate others like Jenny and Chris ex-girlfriends and are also the same fans who are chasing him on twitter like that episode in which they discovered the topics that chris follows

Anonymous said: Do you think he’s still in the UK or back in Boston?

Anonymous said: Also Lily doesn’t seem like his type whatsoever

_____ said: Also megan REALLY cleaned up chris’ image. She had to do the lord’s work of undoing every single time chris was papped pre marvel & i gotta commend her for that. What a gem, i hope she gets paid $3938383838293

Anonymous said: Two of the three people he followed were Bel Powley and Douglas Booth. He worked with Bel on Lobby Hero, and probably knows Douglas too as he is her boyfriend. Btw, where can you all see his location on IG? It doesn't appear for me at all.

Anonymous said: Do you think Chris is going to get the Emmy nom?

Anonymous said: Do you think there will be any more sightings of Chris and Lily together?

hagarsays said: I agree I truly think he really went there for work or some type of business cause I been his fans since 2016 and till now he only flys somewhere for family vacation or for businesses or movie or work he doesn’t seem the type of person to fly somewhere like London for a date cause that’s stupid THERE HAS TO BE A WORK REASON I can’t think of anything else besides work

Anonymous said: Who is this Gemma person that Chris follows? When was Chris with lily on Friday, I thought the club/taxi/hotel was Saturday?

Anonymous said: the last two were the girl who worked in Lobby hero and her boyfriend !! I already knew them !! And to add the location of Instagram is not so precise, I say it because I follow people and I see that their location is different on Instagram. another example, sebas is in USA but it was seen yesterday in Spain !!

Anonymous said: the last people he followed on instagram are British actors, maybe it’s a project to come

Anonymous said: Do you think Chris and Lily are dating?

Anonymous said: He follows her friends? That’s so weird to do after one date unless they’ve met before. I don’t feel like this is pr anymore

Anonymous said: it's funny, because Sebastian's account is based in the USA and he's in Spain, same with Chris Pratt! Something it’s not right

_____ said: Just going back to if chris is cheap/sleazy irl, i definitely think he used to be sleazy & the residual effect is left. On deuxmoi, ppl talk abt him going to taipei to hook up w ppl (while filming push) & he hooked up when he was in LA last month. (Not slut shaming) but just pointing to the fact that chris doesnt have the steve rogers personality most ppl think

Anonymous said: I can’t stand Lily’s friend Gemma. Don’t know why but there’s just something about her that grates on me.

hagarsays said: I will die of laughter if there a statement from either team saying they aren’t together but they where seen because they might start in a movie together that we don’t know about yet😂😂

Anonymous said: Does anyone from Chris's inner circle apart from Scott and Carly follow Lily on IG? That may be a good indication of whether this is real or PR/hookup or a relationship. Also, it's hard to believe that they started dating before lockdown like that anon claims given that they were on separate continents. Also, she wasn't even in the first batch of people he followed on IG. Wouldn't his gf be one of his first follows?

Anonymous said: I have a friend from England on Twitter and we've all been talking about this. She said the travel quarantine mandate for the US doesn't start until July 10. They have their own separate rules from the EU.

Anonymous said: Twitter is full of mentions of the new beautiful couple alert. People do romanticize everything that involves beautiful people. Even what seems tasteless PR/ booty call during a pandemic.

Anonymous said: I was looking at the pictures from Chris and Lily Collins date and at least they looked like that could be a date. I would be disappointed if Chris and Lily J announces they are dating after those embarrassing pictures trying to enter his hotel from different entrances. They clearly knew they were followed by paparazzi so they can’t denied they were busted. So tacky.

Anonymous said: What I'm trying to figure out is how they would try to play the long game. There are so far no films he would be involved in shooting in the UK. Unless he flies back and forth expeditiously, which once again bad idea, I think even publications would side eye it. The Blast, even though they seem like a fan blog, pointed out fans nonetheless found a discrepancy that this more than likely the first weekend they met. No way a physical relationship has taken place prior. I can't wait to see how they

Anonymous said: 2),because it's going to be flawed and totally dangerous to keep up. Possibly he could still be in the UK but not for long. I don't understand what they thought to accomplish. Unless there is a real relationship but there is too many plot points pointing to this either being new or fake. Like you said he can throw around as many big words as he likes it doesn't make up for the lack of common sense. I truly believe whatever happens next will be pulled out of his ass unless megan orchestrates it.

Anonymous said: I noticed how Chris keeps saying that he doesn't care about how he's perceived in recent interviews. I mean, it's obvious he does, right? He sits and checks his Twitter mentions for god's sake! Do we have any idea about whether he's back home yet?

Anonymous said: “press about skeavy side entrance hookups during a pandemic is quite an image overhaul for the two of them” Why are we still going with the side/back door story? New pics of him inside & she’s nowhere in sight. Maybe she was just standing at the side/back door while she was on the phone arranging her ride out of there or where she was going next, alone, & didn’t need to stand at the front since she wasn’t going inside?

Anonymous said: I hope lilly knows even after Chris is long gone that's all people are going to ask her about. She could win an award and one sentence would be about that the rest about how she dated/hooked up with captain america. If I wanted to be known for something I wouldn't be romantically linked to Chris lol. His captain america image follows him like herpes and attaches to anyone less famous he comes in contact with. Even Scarlett gets asked and she's just a friend.

Anonymous said: I feel like Chris is trying to go for a Clooney/Pitt/DiCaprio image. Sexy bachelor that every woman desires and is a serious actor. He has the superhero thing in common with Clooney😂

Anonymous said: Another question: did he intend his blatant disregard for human life to be showcased as well? Or was that just a fun bonus?

Anonymous said: I was actually wondering about image overhaul, but then why did he spend a year launches political site and trying to look respectable? He wants to play both sides? Also, doesn’t this make the intern hookup seem more plausible now? Poor judgment is his thing

Anonymous said: I wonder if this is his way of casting off the good guy Cap rep Marvel built him, and letting the world know he’s a real Boston douche. I actually remember that I didn’t like him pre-Cap. He used to strike me as annoying. I thought I was wrong about that, but, now….

Anonymous said: Something struck me with those new pics. I know we are making assumptions that maybe she didn't enter but if that was the case, why he was at the lobby of the hotel after entering it? It seems that he is trying to get permission for her, you know what I mean?

Anonymous said: Since as of now there isn’t anything about Chris and lily situation as of now can we move on and talks about anything until we get something new or important to talk about cause we haven’t gotten anything since yesterday😂

Anonymous said: (1/2) Idk what this is but the problem is the WORLD is in the middle of pandemic & he traveled to the UK to party into the night. The same wknd thousands of ppl flooded the streets of London because pubs reopened. If it's a PR stunt, I don't understand it at all because it makes him look privileged & out of touch. Especially w/ this club being an exclusive club for the rich 🙄. I'm just taken aback because he's been maintaining a mature image with ASP & social justice things lately. (2/2) He seemed to wear a mask at the BLM protest & then suddenly he's stunting in LDN in the middle of a pandemic? Right before his website is about to launch? What I do find interesting about the pics is they remind me of the Tom Hiddleston & Elizabeth Olsen pics in London from 2015. And idk how Chris & Lily could have had something this entire quarantine because there are pics of her w/ Matt Smith from May 15, so this would've been a very distant & fast relationship to suddenly have 🤷🏻‍♀️

Anonymous said: so they said was is single? in ET or did they just say same as the articles !!

Anonymous said: I just rewatched the Entertainment Tonight segment and it was mentioned that when Chris and Lily spotted the paps in the cab they decided that Chris would go in one entrance and Lily to a different entrance. It just said there were rumors of them being romantically involved. No mention about reaching out to their PR teams about this. So still don’t know what to think 🤔

Anonymous said: Is there a possibility that Chris knows his ASP endeavor was a waste of time and money and lost likely will be considered a failure? Therefor stepping out with a new woman as a distraction is the easiest way to make people forget (since he is one of Hollywood’s most eligible bachelors).

_____ said: Is anyone else noticing a sudden influx of articles essentially flushing the daily fail and other articles out mentioning them? I’ve seen 6 so far. 😂

Anonymous said: Someone on deuxmoi say that her friend hookup with Chris when he was in LA recently

Anonymous said: Do you think the ET coverage makes it more likely that it’s PR?

hagarsays said: You think we will every get any confirmation or statement from Chris and lily rumor romance cause every media outlets are taking about it reaching out for comment like I’m surprised they didn’t say anything YET it makes me think they want to people what they want to think

Anonymous said: Why is she walking to the front glass doors in one photo and then walks around more to the back? But the photos of him released today he was inside the glass doors and she was no where seen. Was she already at the back door and when did she take her little stroll to the front and he wasn’t there.

Anonymous said: I wanted to ask after you made that comment about in the past Chris’ team would mention he is still single or dating around if seen with a woman. So my question is since nothing was said from his team could they really be together?

Anonymous said: Just curious, why do you say Chris was never serious about his relationship with Jenny? I wasn’t around then

Anonymous said: They obviously didn’t make out in the cab. That’s really hot and heavy for a hook up. 🙄 Neither showed much emotion or smiles or anticipation. They looked quite bored actually. You’d think they’d get out and laugh about the situation. He looks panicked. This is Chris right?

Anonymous said: What was the PR issued statement with subsequent Minka days (I remember the first one being “she did a number on his head...which should have been a red flag for MK). I don’t remember the other rounds, though

Anonymous said: BBC Series ‘The Pursuit Of Love starring her is set to film late July in Bristol. No male lead has been posted on IMBD. Wondering if that’s why he was in London and getting them papped would sell that story. Wondering if Chris would do a BBC series, also Emily Mortimer is directing and that looks to be her first directing project (what I can see on IMBD)

Anonymous said: Why would a couple who was together want to pretend to not be together knowing the paparazzi was there? Do they get paid for an exclusive scoop so they make an effort to not look official? If they are together why not look happy & go in together? Why the smoke and mirrors? Is this because he’s not committed yet? If he’s dating her he was really rude. Wouldn’t a cute picture be a better win? They could go with couple or friends even work spin. This looks shady esp knowing the cameras were there.

Anonymous said: I was just reading what you said about the Entertainment Tonight segment that if Chris and Lily being together was that he was “still single” or dating around from his team but since they didn’t say anything yet could it be tru they are really together? Just curious

Anonymous said: Are you still thinking this is a stunt

Anonymous said: This whole thing is getting rehashed over&over again&if no new pics come out it'll be just like the other Lily where when they talk about their relationships she will have once been linked to Captain American star Chris Evans. Its same thing with J.S. most gossip sites can't mention her without him&it'll bring up articles with her name when you search him. The funniest thing I've heard about it is that according to ET they went in separate doors cause they spotted the paps.

Anonymous said: Do you think they'll be anymore pics released from that night or is that all of them, also has anyone picked up on the new pics of him or are they not bothering.

Anonymous said: I agree that this was most likely a PR stunt from Lily’s team, but it’s not like she’s completely unknown. She’s def more known and well regarded in the industry than Minka and Jenny. I don’t think she’s necessarily “using his fame” since they both agreed to the stunt. If anything, it maybe benefits both of them for the time being. Lily is well off without Chris’ money and status imo.

Anonymous said: I have a bad chronical hay fever and I... don't put medicine in my nose that way???? Seriously. Do I do it wrong?🤔

Anonymous said: I’m not even sure US Weekly came from Megan. When she puts together something there is sources who are friends etc. Even with Lilly Collins. US weekly seemed to be more on her info than him. What do you think

Anonymous said: So she was photographed sniffing and nothing happened? This is a white privilege, black people are murdered for walking on the streets. is this what Chris wants for him? That kind of privilege?

Anonymous said: Besides him traveling during a pandemic, no masks and whatnot is wrong on so many levels and can’t be defended. Some who follow Chris I think this is so weird as he says one thing and totally does the opposite. He wants a family life and carve pumpkins yet does Pr with Lily who is in Primrose Hill group that all kinda posh and party. It’s just confusing but entertaining 😆

Anonymous said: If it is just PR, why didn’t he pick someone local? Was his entire business in London being papped? He could have taken a page out of Ana and Ben’s book, and been papped in LA. Hell, he could have even photobombed their pap walk with his or date and gotten free coverage.

Anonymous said: I think that maybe we should stop talking about the women he dates or is linked with and start thinking of what them show about him as a person. I'm still waiting to see one that is smart and talented and has her own career, or business, for her own merits. The type of woman that a confident straight man would be proud to have at his side, you know? Maybe those one run away from him?

Anonymous said: "Why does Chris seem to have such bad taste in women?" /// maybe it's because if he was with a good woman she'll call him on his bullshit unlike the circle of yes men/ women he probably prefers and he doesn't want that per say so he retreats to women who enable him and when he gets tired drops them to the side and let's his fans eat them alive, since he almighty can do no wrong in their eyes so whatever happens it must be the women who were never "good" in the first place

Anonymous said: This is like totally random and idk if I’m the only one who thinks about stuff like this lol, but do you ever think about what Chris’ mom and other family member think about this whole lily thing?

Anonymous said: Well non of his inner circle of friends follow her yet so that's something 😂

Anonymous said: Now an anon's friend's cousin's mailman's building maintenance's 3rd grade teacher KNOWS abt this "months-long romance?" Ok. IT DOESNT MATTER if real or pr, new or old --- if they're sooo familiar with each other: 1. Why not stay in his/their luxury hotel and "make out" so to not get 'visibly' caught by anons, and 2. Why not arrange for her visit/stay at the hotel BEFORE even coming to the UK, let alone while on the cab ride after CLEARLY being pap'd, if they've been "courting" so long???? Mess.

Anonymous said: I can't imagine this English rose in Chris Boston friends circle if they actually a thing. Jenny and Minka fitted there and It looked like they were friends with his buddies wife's/girlfriends. At least at those moments they dated Chris. Lily is too posh and to immature for Chris friends. But this is just my opinion.

Anonymous said: Do you think they’ll continue or will it be swept away like Lily Collins?

Anonymous said: I know it’s impossible to say at this point, but how long do you think a PR showmance like this will last? He’s obviously done it before but I wasn’t very active in the fandom then.

Anonymous said: “classy isn’t her signature pap stroll” 🤣 i love you 😘 😂 Chris really likes cheap girls.

Anonymous said: Does Chris just not care about his image? Why would he be okay with PR/pap pics that make it look like he was having some cheap prostitute sneaking in his hotel? This could have been done so much better without it making it look like either one of them is trash. Why does he wanna look like trash?

Anonymous said: LOL Last time I checked you don’t blow your nose not with a slender piece of paper that looks like you are snorting something. Keep it classy Chris Evans. Keeping it classy.

Anonymous said: Talking of not a good look, your jealousy is coming through as hatred. I think you need to back away from the fandom

Anonymous said: Maybe this is his new image. He’s put out stories twice now about dating around. Maybe implied promiscuity wasn’t enough. He wants us to really know he sleeps around and to get used to seeing him do it, perhaps? Or he genuinely likes her and she’s allowing him to reveal his inner sleaze bag?

Anonymous said: Huuum... Minka now looks classier than her. Lol

Anonymous said: Also to note both Chris and Sebastian are signed to CAA. Stan signed with them on late may and now is going yatching to Ibiza with a foreign women that curiously has the right passport to enter the country. Chris and James looking straight at the paps. Both couples photographed by Backgrid. 👀

Anonymous said: Sebastian was seen with a fan there picture on twitter and he not wearing a mask he been see 3 times with no mask in Ibiza and Chris was only see with no mask once in London😂😂😂

Anonymous said: If they do have some kind of relationship, this might actually work, since he’s shown here he’s willing to ridiculous pap stunts. He didn’t do those for Minka and Jenny.

Anonymous said: Well since people are busting their chops. I think there is 3 options going forward. They double down on their ignorance (if they do hopefully they adhere to safety standards next time), he let's it fade away with no further mention, or the unlikely option his team releases a statement apologizing for the lack of safety/denying or confirming their relationship. Either way nobody but us is taking particular interest anymore. It was a flop.

Anonymous said: If you guys though Chris was worse look at Sebastian he was just seen taking a picture with a fan and wearing no mask and him and his GF was seen with no mask and while Chris didn’t take pictures with fans and wasn’t seen with lily at all since Saturday

Anonymous said: So is the new image supposed to make him look like a jerk? I don’t buy the new image thing. We’ve seen him where it looks genuine being polite to women. This group of pics just looks strange; he looks not very impressed and she looks like she has a chip on her shoulder.

Anonymous said: He went from 4.5 to 4.6 million followers on insta and 120 tweet per day to 1120 per hour. People are taking and this stunt worked. And like you said not money shot of her IN the hotel. My money is on that she is still with Matt but her team is going to play it like he got jealous of her male attention and came crawling back.

Anonymous said: Also-he was so in and out of London. Like what in Thursday/Friday out Sunday...if you were seeing a girl...you are flying to London for more than 72 hours.

Anonymous said: Now an anon's friend's cousin's mailman's building maintenance's 3rd grade teacher KNOWS abt this "months-long romance?" Ok. IT DOESNT MATTER if real or pr, new or old --- if they're sooo familiar with each other: 1. Why not stay in his/their luxury hotel and "make out" so to not get 'visibly' caught by anons, and 2. Why not arrange for her visit/stay at the hotel BEFORE even coming to the UK, let alone while in the cab ride after CLEARLY being pap'd, if they've been "courting" so long???? Mess.

Anonymous said: A showrunner from a TV show I follow resumes filming today in London. She has been isolating there for the last two weeks and posting discussing her quarantine. It wasn’t required since she was there to film. She did it because she has common sense and cares about people’s health. It’s really not too much to ask of people.

Anonymous said: I don't know if really his like was real? I say this because What a coincidence he like tweet of black Raven? a very critical account about him !! If there are screenshots of Chris's Twitter account on his likes, I will believe it !!

Anonymous said: The new pics make it worse for me simply because it shows him inside, close to staff, with disregard for masks. As someone else said, just because it isn’t required there doesn’t make it better. He’s a news watching American. He knows what the guidelines are. Him looking at the camera and her possibly not going in just makes this whole stunt even more stupid. It was irresponsible. Period.

Anonymous said: My head are spinning from all the theories I read about those pictures. Are they dating, are they doing this for pr, maybe Chris didn't knew about paparazzi, maybe she's already moving with him to Boston... oh boy 🤕

Anonymous said: This whole thing makes no sense. He stands inside while lilly walks around outside. The like makes no sense, but that was an accident I assume. Which makes me believe he's going through his mentions and knows people are pissed about the masks. If this is bad pr they should stop while they're ahead. If they're dating good for them keep it to themselves cause people are already doubting this crap. This thing is unbelievable and ridiculous, you're right he's not as smart as he seems so probably 2) Anonymous said: had a significant role in this. Maybe he does believe he needs the pr. Also I wouldn't believe anything an anon source says is from someone close to them. If they want this bs official they'll leak it to us weekly or some other junkie outlet they're dating. I think they're testing the waters with this pr stunt to see how much they can milk attention. I'm disappointed in Chris for even thinking this is acceptable.

Anonymous said: Yikes. He's gotta be as dumb as a box of rocks if he knew about the paps and still thought her going in the back way was a good idea. He's really not that smart (I think people play up his intelligence a lot), but with how tightly he's kept his private life shut down since Jenny, I find this to be strange, to say the least.

Anonymous said: I don't know if really his like was real? I say this because what a coincidence he like tweet of black Raven? a very critical account about him !! If there are screenshots of Chris's Twitter account on his likes, I will believe it !!

Anonymous said: The fact that he’s looking at his mentions just confirms my feelings of If being fake🤷‍♀️

Anonymous said: For me his behaviour this weekend was way worse than homewrecking a marriage, which affected few people. I didn't come back to the fandom after JS with the same energy I had before. Maybe this is what I need to leave. I never thought he was perfect or incapable of doing mistakes. But there are too many information out there right now about the virus. This left me with a taste of arrogance from his part.

Anonymous said: So we have money shots of him in the hotel but not her 🤔 but DM is the UK TMZ they are sleazy. They would have not problem waiting around for her to go in and leave his hotel. She could have never gone in or she could been in there but why not release them. There’s so many signs of this being fake but believable to people that don’t follow Chris/Lily/PR.

Anonymous said: the fact that he deleted two tweets just after post is a signal that his not that happy with this situation

Anonymous said: I also think maybe it’s why this was her team vs Megan. Even like his articles have “sources” of they are just having fun blah blah. Not even DM or any of the US ones have his team surrounding it. They are recycling DM as the source and no reps have confirmed or commented on anything. I think he wanted a sloppy night and she documented it. And also why it was posted later so Megan could get a handle on it.

Anonymous said: now we have pics of him in the lobby of the hotel but none of her so she really entered in the back door or she didn't even entered on the hotel

Anonymous said: Why would PR want ppl to see Chris as sleazy? Also why would Chris want ppl to think he’s sleazy? If he knew paps were there & was okay with the whole back door thing, looking like some hookup that was caught or something. Why would he be okay with that? Even if that’s not what really happened, why would he be okay with being looked at like that?

Anonymous said: ASP today posted and immediately deleted posts from instagram and twitter. I wonder if he's already regret this dumb trip to see a girl. I wonder what Mark K and Joe K thinking about this.

Anonymous said: “cheap, sloppy and sleazy are his hallmarks in real life” can you further explain this? I’m having one of those days, and I think I’m understanding it correctly but I just wanna make sure

Anonymous said: So why did he do this? I mean the PR game. The guy does not need this

Anonymous said: Can I ask your opinion do you think they hooked up or just a set up pap shlt as we don't see her enter the hotel

Anonymous said: Are you still saying it’s pr or have u changed your mind

Anonymous said: I'm a little bit lost here. He truly liked and disliked the tweet? It's ironic that yesterday you mentioned that there were no pics of him getting inside and today they are here. I wonder if pics of her will show up later or tomorrow. This wouldn't bother me at all in a normal situation. But the moment makes all cheap and irresponsible. Maybe cheap and dumb is what he is? Maybe that's why the asks in interviews are all the same. Not for privacy, but to avoid dumb answers.

Anonymous said: I wasn’t in the fandom yet, but from what I’ve heard about Chris in his 20s, it sounds like he had a “cheap, sloppy and sleazy” vibe back then too. And he had a cleaner image once he started doing the Marvel movies. Now that he’s done with Marvel maybe he’s showing his true colors

[purplesurveys]

1021

survey by lets-make-surveys

1 - Do you have cats? Tell me about them. No. My sister used to have a cat, but Arlee passed away last April, I think a day or two before my birthday.

2 - Do you have an open fire in your house? Would you like one? Idk what that is, but it doesn’t sound appealing as I live in a tropical country as it is. More heat would just be uncomfortable.

3 - Are you a fan of making things cosy? What kind of things do you do to make your home feel cosy and snug? Cozy is nice, of course, but I wouldn’t always invest in them. I’d want my own place to have scented candles and fluffy pillows and blankets, but those three things are probably enough for me. I don’t really need fairy lights or oil diffusers or whatever.

4 - Do you still buy DVD’s or do you just use Netflix? Netflix. The last time I received a DVD was around...2013 maybe? when my mom gave me a DVD of Gone with the Wind for Christmas. I haven’t sought them out since, since everything is now online anyway.

5 - What kind of games console(s) do you have? What kind of games are your favourite? I grew up around video games but of all the people in my family who enjoys them, I was and am literally the only one who was never any good. I learned to be content with just watching my dad and cousins from the side, haha. Anyway, at home we’re currently using the PS3, PS4, and Switch.

6 - What was the last thing you had to drink? Water.

7 - Do you like things to be colour-coordinated or does it not bother you? Not for absolutely everything, but sure. My notes, back when I was still in school, were always color-coordinated. Also, when my parents asked me to reorganize their closets when I was younger, I liked fixing their clothes according to color too.

8 - Are you a big reader? Do you own many books that you’ve not gotten around to reading yet? I used to be, as a kid. Everyone called me bookworm and I embraced that title, haha. Then I got depressed and that never went away and everything got busy in life, and I was just slowly unable to finish books that I kept buying until I stopped reading altogether. I definitely have a number of books that are still unfinished to this day.

9 - Are you a fan of scented candles? What kind of scent(s) do you like? Mmm no, but I can see the appeal. I’d love to try buying one or two one of these days. They’d probably be perfect for Friday evenings after a work week.

10 - Do you believe that black cats are bad luck? No. I don’t believe in symbols like that. It’s also so frustrating hearing that black cats are still among the least-adopted animals in my country, because it only means people continue to believe in that ridiculous mindset.

11 - What’s your favourite breed of dog? Have you ever owned that breed before? Every breed is my favorite, except for, honestly, chihuahuas and pugs.

12 - Do you have laundry that needs to be done right now? No.

13 - Who or what was the last thing you shouted at? My family was playing Pictionary during the blackout yesterday and that was just a lot of constant yelling, lol

14 - Is there anything in your home that needs repairing or replacing? One of our electric fans broke a few months ago and we have a couple of leaks in the ceiling of our dining room which make it inconvenient whenever it rains. One of the lightbulbs in the kitchen is also close to going out, but I think my dad has already bought a replacement bulb for it.

15 - What kind of phone do you have? Do you use it often? iPhone 8. I’ve definitely been using it a lot recently. My depression for the last two or so months has made me reliant on background noise, so I have YouTube Autoplay all day long. I’m starting to see the effects on the battery hahaha, but it’s okay as I plan to get a new phone once I can finally afford a monthly plan.

16 - Who was the last person you spoke to on video chat? I was on video call with Angel and our HR supervisor on our first day last Monday.

17 - When was the last time you took any medication? Is this something you have to do regularly? I think it was a Biogesic for my headache, which is the only kind of pill I ever take anyway. No, I only pop one whenever I feel my temples start to throb, which isn’t too often.

18 - Where do you keep your shoes when you’re not wearing them? We have a storage space under the stairs, where our shoe rack also is. All my shoes are on there as we’re not allowed to bring any shoes upstairs (welcome to Asian homes, hahaha).

19 - Is your room/home generally clean and tidy? How long would you say you spent on housework each day? It’s clean. I don’t move around in here much except to sit at my desk to work and then sleep at the end of the day, so. As for housework, my mom’s a total control freak when it comes to chores, so even though I always want to help she wants things done her way, the steps of which only she knows.

20 - If you could have any snack in the world right now, what would you pick? What about a drink to go with it? I don’t have any particular craving right now, actually...maybe sushi? Deep fried maki sounds great rn. Just water would be fine.

21 - What’s everyone else in your household doing right now? Dad drove out for his work and my mom tagged along. No clue what my siblings are doing downstairs as I haven’t showed myself today so far.

22 - What was the last new item you bought for your home? (something like curtains or furniture, not something unique for you like clothes). Mom bought new plates as she felt like replacing the plate set we’ve had and been using since first moving here in ‘08. She also got a new tornado mop after the old one broke.

23 - Do you have a favourite mug to drink out of? Does your favourite change depending on what you’re going to be drinking? Yeah I used to love my color-changing mug with the wi-fi design, but now I’ve been using my mom’s Starbucks copper mug the most. As for the second question, no it doesn’t work that way for me. I’ll drink anything in my current favorite mug.

24 - What are five things you like to have within arms reach when you’re sat on the computer or settled down to watch TV? Phone, laptop charger, a hairtie, a blanket, and the cleaning cloth for my glasses.

25 - When doing surveys, do you have a certain routine or anything, or do you just sit and do them whenever and whatever? I don’t have a ~routine per se but I do have a few traditions, so to speak:

I prefer a cup of coffee to accompany me while taking them though I don’t always follow this, like now. 

If I’m taking surveys in public, like at a coffee shop, I zoom out my Chrome to around 67% so that no one could see what I’m doing.

I try to check out Bzoink everyday for new survey leads, but sometimes Tumblr will be filled with good surveys (like now - there are so many good ones floating around on here recently??? I’m so not complaining) and I keep track of them by liking those survey posts to take in the future.

I generally avoid bolding surveys, but when I do take one I prefer to actually answer each item, so that it doesn’t end too quickly for me.

[alonzotheeboy]

If you want to talk about it, I would sure love to hear about that original thing you want to write!

…Goddamn it…

This is gonna be so incomprehensible if i say the FULL picture so imma just tell you the basic plot right up to when it starts to get COMPLICATED

Basically, it starts with two dudes, they dont know each other but they do go to the same school and are on the opposite sides of the spectrum. I found a doc i had made like 2 years ago that lists everyones name and these two characters are named Toby and Mathew. Toby is a track star and super popular while Mathew is just kinda getting by and sticking to himself. It’s a pretty normal world besides the fact that 50 years ago super heros were a big thing and people with powers were respected and stuff but now everyones kinda weary of superhumans since shit went down and they cant be trusted. 

So basically one night, Toby’s friends wanted to do some illegal shit and Toby tags along and they spray paint or some dumb shit like that. The cops show up and his friends dip out on him and now he’s running from the cops. It gets to a point where he might get caught when he suddenly just kinda zooms away and that’s when he finds out he has super speed and endurance. It’s pretty devastating for him because he’s scared that people will call him a cheat cause he’s a track star with super speed, and the cops will find him and lock him away for being a super and it’s all pretty horrible for him.

On the opposite side of town, Mathew was just sitting on the couch and didn’t wanna get up to get the remote so he just kinda

And that’s how he finds out that he has telekinesis.

Now the next day, it’s big news that there’s a super in town cause the cops obviously reported that shit and everyones on the lookout for the kid with super speed, especially a lady who I’ve named Maricela. She goes looking for the kid with super speed but instead of focusing on the track star cause its too obvious, she looks for the loners who look like they know somethings wrong with them and that’s how she finds Mathew.

She confronts him when he’s walking home alone and at first he’s like “lmao, no.” But then she shows him that she has the power to create fire from her hands and that’s when he’s like “holy shit im not alone.” and tells her that he has telekinesis which she’s like “that’s not what i was looking for, but

He can’t show her that he has telekinesis cause he can’t control his powers all too well so she just takes him to a junkyard and has him try and throw junk around with his mind but can’t even pick a bottle up. She’s like “Okay lol, thought u had something cool but i guess not.” And that upsets him af ton and it’s enough to get him to throw a car across the lot and she’s like “bingo.”

That’s when she tells him her plan to take over the city and get back at anyone who ever turned their back on supers. He asks her why it’s so important to her and she tells him about this program they had a few years back that promised to help train super children so she put her son in it hoping that he’d have a good education without being separated because of his powers. But the program was a sham and the people behind it were just trying to see how super humans worked by using young super children that didn’t know how to use their powers yet and couldn’t fight back. She only found this out after the kids revolted and tried to burn the whole place down, killing everyone, even the children. Almost every super child had been put into the program so they lost an entire generation of supers, and even though Maricela knows the truth, that’ doesn’t mean everyone else does. The government twisted the story and told the public that the super children became mad with power and couldn’t be controlled and that’s what started the whole stigma of super=bad

Now shes heard talk about a new program being instilled and she’s certain it’s to just drag supers out of hiding and she’s not gonna let that happen. She strikes a deal with Mathew and says that if he helps her, she’ll train him on how to use his powers. After hearing her story, Mathews on board and they both decide to team up and stop whatever’s going on.

It starts off after weeks of training that to where they think he’s good enough to use his powers if he concentrates on bad emotions, and they find out that the funds for the new program are being kept in a safe in a bank. They break in using disguises, she uses her fire to scare everyone away, and he gets to work on unlocking the vault from the inside out using his powers. They get it open and burn all of the money and dip.

The news goes crazy and the city is like “Omfg supervillains.” and that’s when we cut back to Toby who’s still distressed about his own powers. He sees the news and is like “the cops cant fight supervillains. Only superheroes can.” and that’s when he’s like “fuck it. Hero time.” and finds a purpose.

So he listens in on police scanners and when he hears about the villains planning to burn down a construction sight, he puts on his own disguise as to not out himself and goes off.

Unlike Mathew, he can use his powers pretty well, so when Maricella tells Mathew to take him on while she finishes the job, it’s an all out battle that surprisingly ends with Toby overshooting and running off the edge of the building and almost falling to his death except he’s *gasp* saved by Mathew who’s using his powers without focusing on negative emotions. He just wants to do the right thing and that doesn’t involve letting some dude fall to his death.

He pulls Toby up and him and Merci dip once again without finishing the job so now the news is going crazy about a superhero who stopped the supervillains.

While this is all going on, they’ve been living their normal lives and going to school and stuff and that’s when they get assigned as lab partners and have to work together outside of school. So it’s just them hanging out together and slowly becoming legit friends before one leaves and then 5 mins later they meet again except in their super disguises and beat each other up. They don’t know it’s each other until one day when their fighting as Merci burns some shit up, that Mathews mask fall tf off and Toby’s like “oh shit.” and Mathew and Merci dip out of there with Toby knowing it’s someone he knows underneath the mask.

So now Mathews paranoid that a superhero is going to expose him and Toby’s still like “oh shit.” So it’s hella awkward the next day. Toby doesn’t say shit and when they confront each other again in their disguises their alone, and Mathews like “Just expose me pussy.” And Toby’s like “bro, it’s me.” and they’re both like “oh shit.”

They avoid each other like the fucking plague in school and just pretend they don’t know each other when they’re in super mode. Mathew doesn’t tell Merci shit cause she’s in a “i want that fast af twink obliterated” mode cause Toby keeps fucking up her plans and Mathew doesn’t want her going after him. It goes on like that for a few weeks until Toby just shows up at his house one day and says “we needa fucking talk.” and they do, and they decide to just be friends when they can and keep the super business out of their main life.

And that’s when they start catching feelings for each other and this is where it starts getting complicated. I’ll see how this does and maybe i’ll write a part two or better yet, make an actual fic about it on ao3 but og stories dont do well on there so idk

[cruddyborderlandstheories]

okay this isn’t a theory at all but I wanted to talk about my 3 Zane builds... because I can and nobody can stop me ahahahahaha

I used this site: https://bl3skills.com/

so far they have Zane, Amara, and Moze available so you should 100% go check it out cuz the creator is doing god’s work and also making builds is fun

the kill skill build im probably going to use mainly on single player:

the reason it's a kill skill build is because the capstone for Hitman (Death Follows Close) is insanely powerful when you consider the Seein’ Red skill. That is, the Seein’ Red skill allows you to activate all your kill skills whenever you activate ur action skill. And Death Follows Close gives every killskill a 40% buff and +4 seconds. which is insane (I spent like an hour just doing the math for all my builds lol). This will be using Zoomer and the Clone, where Zoomer’s got both Bad Dose (radiation damage and movement speed/fire rate buffs for Zane) and Static Shield (if possible bc idk if u can take parallel augments- drains enemy shields and replenishes Zane’s (if not, we’ll take Winter’s Drone which does cryo damage)) and the Clone has Schadenfreude (when the clone takes damage, Zane’s shield is regened) and Which One’s Real (enemies will aggro the clone more often after teleporting - because we want our clone alive and taking aggro for as long as possible- if not possible then we’ll take Binary System in replacement of Schadenfreude). 

this is probably going to be my crowd control build. It likely won’t be outputting a huge amount of damage but if there’s a lot of people and i’m being overwhelmed i imagine the quick action skill charges and the increased movement speed will help a lot

which leads me to the omgwth build that i am v proud of:

This one is my kamikaze build because when I’m playing with friends I like to do dumb shit, and dumb shit includes running into a fight im most definitely not going to win without dying. I take inspiration from suicide psychos.

so basically I’m gonna use the barrier and clone. The idea is to deploy both action skills at once (and pick up the barrier), then run into battle screaming shooting at enemies through the shield. Hopefully at this point I’ll have picked up a nova shield and, i think you can see where this is going, then I can run into the middle of a bunch of enemies and as the barrier’s timer runs out and my shield depletes, teleport out using the clone once the nova hits (we don’t want to be there too long or else our clone’s timer might run out, which is why I didn’t go for Hearty Stock) and let my shields recharge in preparation to do it all over again.

an explanation for a few skills that may make you go “why??”: i chose Really Expensive Jacket over Futility Belt bc the latter is a kill skill, while REJ is always active- a -50% duration of DoT’s is REALLY good, especially if i get DoTed before i teleport, then the shields immediately recharging after i teleport (Quick Breather) won’t take effect because they’ll instantly be knocked out again. Also Zane screams a LOT when he’s on fire and I’m good. I’m good. As for why I chose Duct Tape Mod, I wanna see if it works with the Infinity. if it does, then my god. that’s glorious. Am also hoping it fires a grenade with your grenade mod attached. If it does, then it will likely take from ur stock, which is another reason to have Pocket Full of Grenades. if it doesn’t, then it’s a vanilla grenade and I don’t think that will take from the stock (that’d be kinda shitty), and, hey, free booms.

The barrier stays active for 9 seconds (12.6 with both action skills active) and the clone stays active for 18 (25.2 with both skills active- not sure how this will work when one action skill runs out). The reason I got Violent Momentum is because bullet damage is boosted by the barrier (+20%) and that’s an additional straight +30% gun damage on top of that without any speed boosts as we “run” into battle, but, even better, I’ll be using the Charged Relay (bonus speed!) and Deterrence Field (touch the shield as i zoom towards you and get zapped asshole) augments for the barrier. We’ll also have the skill Supersonic Man, which will maximize our movement speed when the barrier is up. Which is exactly what we want. And, of course, the clone will have Binary System (cryo nova on teleport) and Dopplebanger (booms whenever the action skill ends). because we want to maximize the amount of boom happening at the very end of this maneuver. 

The reason we’re going for grenade regen here (Pocket Full of Grenades) is because we want our clone to be a big strong boy so he can tank and output damage for us before going boom, since after we teleport to relative safety we’re going to need to let our shields regen. Binary System will cause a cryo explosion and Dopplebanger will cause a fire explosion, not the mention the skill that drops a ‘free’ grenade when the clone is killed (wondering if that stacks with Dopplebanger or not). without the Death Follows Close skill, we need to rely on the base 15%/s grenade recharge rate, so that leaves us with about 120% of a grenade 8 seconds after we kill an enemy. and, hopefully, with the way this build is gonna work, minimum 3 grenades before the next time our clone is summonable (with Adrenaline we get a 20.8 long second recharge rate w/ our clone and a 14.8 recharge rate w/ our barrier- 3 grenades would take ~24 seconds with max efficiency) and our shield is fully charged (not factoring grenade drops from enemies here)

Oh, also, my clone is getting a rocket launcher. because that’d be really funny with a +51% fire rate and +33% damage (not to mention the +10% damage from swapping places). If my nova shield burst won’t kill ‘em, then the cryo nova could, if the cryo nova doesn’t, then the rocket launcher could, and if the rocket launcher doesn’t, then the fiery explosion of death might! 

... or the grenade, depending on if i detonate the clone or it gets killed before i’m able to. We’ll see.

my turtle kwami build (that’s a protection build for those of you who don’t miraculous ladybug) for when i think i'm gonna get absolutely fucked without shields and/or I wanna snipe:

focus on cryo sniping and surviving mostly. i love cryo but uh im not the safety/surviving type so i am slightly disappointed it’s merged so far into his barrier tree. Thankfully, i don’t mind sniping/supporting my teammates every once in a while so it’s not a problem, i can get my cryo fix lol. i still prefer pretending this is Jackass the Video Game tho

anyway we don’t care much about increasing shield capacity because if things go according to plan we’ll have the barrier up most of the time (base barrier recharge is 18 seconds, it will become 14.4 seconds) and tbh capacity doesn’t matter much if our shields don’t regen fast enough. also if we’re using amp shields for sniping, then we want the charge rate to be as fast as possible for that as well. We’re also focused on health regen for surviving bc snipers are squishy and we might not be able to get out of danger fast enough so we wanna healthgate, so we got both Rise to the Occasion and Salvation

We’re also using Confident Competence and Nerves of Steel to maximize our sniping potential. To maximize Cryo stuff, we’ve chosen the skills Best Served Cold and Cold Bore. The reason I want to maximize cryo stuff is because of Calm, Cool, n Collected which is fucking amazing, and on a sniper where the duration or recharge of ur action skill can be fully reset? BEAUTIFUL. (even though I’m not big on the Under Cover tree, CCaC is one of my favorite skills. Holy shit is this awesome). Cryo is also great on a sniper in general, as frozen enemies can’t dodge you spamming their crit spot.

We’re also going to get Seein’ Red so activating an action skill will set off all kill skills. These kill skills include Futility Belt (all elemental damage is set to non-elemental damage- basically a 22% damage reduction to all damage for 8 seconds), Salvation (weapons grant life steal for 20% damage (which is AMAZING) for 8 seconds), and Cool Hand (increases reload speed). The reason we’re aiming for reload speed is because we wanted Almighty Ordnance and getting Praemunitus wouldn’t let us do that, so we take the second best thing to magazine size.

Our augmentations will be Nanites or Some Shite (health regen, reload speed (synergizes with Cool Hand) and shield recharge delay (amp shield)) and Redistribution (increased gun damage by +9% for 3s whenever the shield takes damage). For Zoomer, we’re gonna take Winter’s Drone (in hopes that will still proc Calm, Cool, and Collected- if not, well, cryo is brilliant for snipers anyway) and Almighty Ordnance (for long distance missile damage. I was thinking this plus whenever Zoomer drops a grenade (which will be a singularity grenade) will be absolutely amazing).

anyway, if it wasn’t obvious enough, im maining Zane and i'm going to have a great fuckin time yeet

im hoping i’ll be able to min/max further with class mods and artifacts. I get the feeling Zane’s class mods will allow him faster recharge rate for one action skill (either depending on slot or whichever tree the mod buffs most). Artifacts are apparently going to buff movement types, which I’m REALLY excited for. I hope I can get some cryo damage going with my slams/sliding.

I am also very much considering a Hyperion and Tediore build for my kamikaze build until I get max level, then we’ll see which legendaries i need to grind in order to maximize chaos with my gear as well. Idk what kinda rocket launcher i’d get though. maybe something Maliwan... ooo you know what, do the CoV make rocket launchers? I’d love to see how the heat mechanic plays with the clone getting a copy of your current gun...

EDIT: edited to add links to each build.

[ghostmartyr]

Pokémon Black 2 Randomized Nuzlocke Run [Part 3]

With some interesting carnage leading us through it, the second badge has been earned. Better yet, we got a TM for a Special Poison move, so Caspet can now be a little more secure in her help.

Team as of the moment:

Stella (Poliwhirl)

Caspet (Gastly)

Okay then.

New routes please.

Hey me.

I have been invited to Pokestar Studios. It’s like Hollywood. Roxie’s dad ran off there to be a movie star. Roxie’s now running off there to talk him out of it. We’re going to run off there and have a terrible time with movies.

I don’t know why I remember the movie place. I think there was either some achievement or plot barrier there, and I hated the process but perfectionism insisted on trying again and... idk. Hopefully that distaste won’t be part of this run.

Can I please just be allowed to catch a third party member.

Is there any grass here. Please.

Stop dragging me to movies.

Stop dragging me to terrible movies.

Like there’s clearly some Emotions going on with Roxie’s father, but oh my gosh I do not play these games for becoming a movie star. ;-; Free me. ;-;

I have control of myself again, so I don’t know if I actually have to shoot a movie, but I feel like Roxie and her dad might require me to, and in any case, one won’t hurt too badly. I guess.

Wait, was it a medal thing? Is that why I made myself nuts over this?

Movie shot, script followed, yay, leaving.

Ahoy, plot!

Sequel Team Plasma is so very open about wanting to take over the world. How refreshing. They’ve gone from knights to pirates. Most excellent.

Pop Roxie is back to captaining, so it’s time to run off to Castelia and find another darn teammate.

And our first act of being in Castelia is a clown giving us a bicycle. Rocking.

A boat takes us to Liberty Garden. I think this is where Victini is if Victini is activated, but I’m not sure if that will be the case with this version. The important question is... does it also have other grass.

Fuckdamn it doesn’t.

Yay, entering random buildings in Castelia gave me an Exp. Share.

In keeping with me doing stupid things, I go to the Game Freak building and chat up some of the trainers who are not nearly as strong as they are post-game, thank goodness.

I really.

Really.

Would like.

More than two pokemon in my party.

I also finally gave in and talked to the medal guy in the Pokemon Center.

My achievement hunting tendencies are going to be the largest obstacle between me and any progress ever.

-whispers-

I want all of them.

Other conversations gave me an Eviolite, so that goes to Stella. ...Wait, no, Caspet. Uggggggh.

Burgh is missing from his Gym, which is fine, since I don’t think I’m ready for another round. I’m just walking around trying to check off whatever plot stuff I can that will let me catch something else.

Oh hey, I think talking to Iris opens up the sewers! I think that means I can catch something down there! !!!!

Pleeeeeease give me something.

Please, ominous guise of darkness.

Oh no.

Russell’s partnering with us, so. Uh. What’s the rule for this? I have to catch the first thing I see, but as long as I’m in a duo, I won’t be able to throw a ball very easily...

Fuuuuuuck.

Okay. We took out Panpour.

I have the ability to throw a ball, which means.

This is my catch option for the route.

Haaaa. And Russell’s Dewott is using Fury Cutter. Its damage will keep going up. I think I have two tries to catch it.

Yeehaw.

Try one is a bust.

Oh hey that’s neat! The Dewott used Razor Shell on Stella, because Stella has Water Absorb and had taken damage! That’s smarter than I expected from the partner AI.

And that means I can spare a turn or two trying to put Serperior to sleep. Since Stella still has Hypnosis.

Yo, it hit! And Dewott heals me again!

But. I need Serperior to be more damaged. I shouldn’t risk attacking. ...I’ll just keep throwing balls and wait for Dewott to hurt it a little more.

HECK YEAH WHO’S DA MAN.

Hot damn that was stressful.

Now I gotta give this girl a name.

Sylarana, wanna rock?

Also, now having Russell with me is a good thing, because this squad could use some levels.

What are you like, Syl?

She’s Careful and proud of her power.

Yeah, pride looks good on that sprite.

I don’t know what Serperior’s stats are with a neutral nature. That takes some stress off, since I’ll just go with the flow, but I prefer to know what I’m getting into, usually. Either way, Defense is stronger than Attack, and that’s just fine.

Female Nidoran are down here, too.

This is working out well enough. Yay for buddy healing. I almost don’t want it to ever end. It’s so convenient.

I shouldn’t do this forever, though. That would get boring fast.

My starter breathing. Also cool pirate outfits in Pokemon Go.

Mooks dispatched.

Gym Leader located!

Look at Burgh being all artsy with his tour of the sewers.

Huh, and Russell just hands us Strength. Because all our pals are true bros in this gen.

Then a dude with anime hair walks out of the hole in the wall.

YO NEW ROUTE.

‘ello there.

...I am possibly not going to be able to catch you due to lack of poke balls and you being remarkably stubborn.

Hey, there we go!

What to name you... what to name you... A magnificent sea serpent with a rainbow tail...

Nessy!

Without Russell healing us every fight, we can’t stick around. Back out of the sewers we go, to receive happy words from Iris. Well. Sort of happy words. She worries about Russell and tells us to challenge the Gym.

I, being a compliant sort, walk back into the sewers after healing.

Okay I guess it’s a cave. Sylarana out front, Nessy with Exp. Share while I contemplate what the heck this team does against a Bug Gym.

Ooooh, Forretress.

...

Is. is there anywhere I can go that can pave the way to me getting a Fire pokemon?

You know what, I don’t like things that blow themselves up at me. Guh, this is taking forever. I might need to buy a few Repels just so I can explore the cave properly... I believe there’s grass somewhere past the sewers, and if I could have a slightly more diverse team going into the next whatever, I’d like it.

Oh, and before I forget, Nessy!

She is Quirky and mischievous. She and Stella have half their personalities in common. Delightful. Marvel Scale is also a neat ability to have. Not one I can utilize properly because I’m a competitive failure, but still cool.

Neat, there’s Pidgeot down here.

Looks like there’s not much of the cave to explore at this point in the game. Ah well. Back to the sewers.

Hm. Would the desert north of Castelia be open to me yet? That could prove useful. Heck, is anywhere outside of this city open? I just need a little patch of grass somewhere new.

Bridge still being inspected.

A wild Bianca appears!

Dowsing Machine get!

Hello, this is new.

But there’s still spots of desert.

OH MY GOSH LOOK AT IT.

Oh my gosh oh my gosh oh my gosh.

Caught!

Your new name is Itsy, and you are much beloved!

Itsy is Modest and somewhat vain, and ouch that is not a nature I think I like for this little one, but adorableness beats everything, so we’re good.

Butterfree is also in the desert. Oooo Pawniard. Back to the sewers, though. Easier training fodder.

Grass located!

...And if I were a better trainer, I would go back and buy poke balls before exploring, but I have the impulse control of a toddler. Oh, and it’s dark grass vs. light grass...

Decision will be made by rapidly running between the two and seeing what triggers an encounter first.

Dark grass it is!

Aaaaaaaa fuck off.

I love Lapras so much. So so so so so so so so much. But I have two Water pokemon already, as well as an Ice one. I. can’t focus on catching the Lapras. It would be a bad idea.

You have never seen anyone so sad to encounter a Dratini during a Nuzlocke.

The wild Lapras fainted.

Oh fucking hell the Dratini knows Dragon Rage and both my pokemon are under 40 HP. Caspet’s turn on healing Caspet, Sylarana’s turn on getting her out of there.

Okay. Confused and slept.

Now I just. catch it. With four poke balls and two great balls left.

...Three poke balls, and guess who woke up.

Great ball. C’mon great ball.

..One great ball left.

Also if Dratini hurts itself in confusion one more time it is dead.

FORTUNE SMILES ON THE CRIMINALLY STUPID.

Now let’s run everyone back through the sewers and--

Did. did I really hit the no nickname option.

Ffs.

Okay, run back through the sewers, hit the Pokemon Center, and then name the critter. The Name Rater’s somewhere in the city, I think.

Heh. The guy in the alleyway still gives us Flash.

Congratulations, Puff! You are now eligible for activity!

Puff is Quiet and alert to sounds. An adorable addition to our squad. He’s going to be temporarily up front thanks to Dragon Rage. The Game Freak fights are once a day, and it’s been a day, so!

I believe in you, Puff!

Dragon Rage is so op this early. Dreamor agrees. But Puff’s ours, so that makes it okay.

Hm. I have six now. They could keep each other out of trouble.

There are so many areas in these sewers I can’t get to. Or maybe I can, it just involves more maze work than I’m expecting. ...Yeah, it’s looking like that side. Hey, a nurse guy! Yay for less walking up to the Pokemon Center.

Oh, and Poison... might be super effective against Bug? I think the whatsit thing he has is Bug/Grass, so that isn’t actually much of a confirmation. Eh, I’ll find out soon enough.

I’ve found a room full of Zweilous. That’s a safe grinding area, right? Itsy’s got Ice and everything. Vullaby and Dwebble are also here.

Heeeeeey, Caspet’s evolving!

And wants to learn another physical Ghost move.

Bye Lick.

Okay, Gym it is.

...Wow Burgh. Really went full Art on the place, huh? Did trainers complain that you were forcing them to walk through honey before letting them fight you?

Puff’s up first. I don’t have much type advantage here, so it’s just going to be hitting things until they break.

Burgh.

Hey Burgh.

This Gym is creepy.

The cocoons just suck you in and zoom you up. Only think Willy Wonka style.

Mooks have level 20s, so this should be a little uncomfortable for a few of the younger members, but Caspet, Stella, and Sylarana should be fine. For now, Puff’s still in front and Dragon Raging all the things.

And we’re going to the Pokemon Center after every fight, but hey. Baby steps in all things. Puff is on one of the slower exp tracks, so every little bit helps.

...Burgh. Buddy.

You want to talk?

This Gym feels like a cry for help.

In true shounen protagonist style, I will settle your troubled emotions through battle! Even if none of the dialogue will admit to how concerning the aesthetics of your chosen arena are!

Everything is hitting critical hits.

...Oh wait, I’m supposed to narrate these fights, aren’t I?

Uh. Swadloon down, Dwebble down, Leavanny left, Leavanny’s level 24. Caspet’s out to deal with it after Puff handled Swadloon and Nessy handled Dwebble.

Caspet one-shots it like a champ, and on we go.

Burgh, this trinket in no way makes me less concerned for you.

Still, though! Everyone’s alive, and we have a team full of six! Nice work, ladies and Puff. Five more badges to go! Let’s hope they go well!

[seesarahaccomplishstuff]

Therapy today helped a bit.

I told my therapist how I’ve been having intense breakdowns since Monday and haven’t been doing okay.

She asked what happened and I told her how I thought the childhood stuff wouldn’t bother me because it was so long ago, but it’s so frustrating to see how much my parents fucked me up. And now there’s this huge list of ways I’m broken that won’t stop growing. And it’s my entire personality. And more people are leaving and that triggered my anxiety, and someone that I’m trying to trust massively crossed a boundary that made my rejection issues even worse.

So she nodded and said “you have a lot to work on. And you really jumped all into it, which is really great, but you’re going to feel like you’re losing for a while. It’s going to overwhelm you a lot. And it’s going to feel easier to lock yourself in your room and off yourself.” (Which I didn’t expect her to say, but she’s right) So I said, “I just don’t fully see the point in trying to fix 30 years of broken.”

“What’s wrong with your personality?” “It’s all fucked up. Everything I do is codependent.” “Sure. Give me an example.” And I couldn’t think of one offhand, so I said, “the thing I realized the other day was I do something for someone because I care right? Which is fine. But also when people are stressed about their situation they get mad. And when that happens I get snapped at and shoved away. So I help to avoid that too I think.”

She was not sold on that. “You used to buy dinner for friends a lot. You did that so you wouldn’t get in trouble?” “No. I did it because I like when people do nice things for me and they don’t always make sure they can eat so I do it so they feel cared about and are healthy.” “That’s just being kind. When you would pay a bill for them they typically pay it right back. So is that codependent?” “No. They need help so I help and they pay it back.” “The times you did it when you didn’t have money to spare. (Which I argued and she called me out lol) The times you let them blow off repaying- that was codependent. You do have a lot of codependent tendencies. But kindness is inherently codependent. You can’t rip apart any time you’ve shown someone kindness. Your biggest codependency issue is not holding boundaries for yourself.”

“You need to repeat the phrase ‘People treat you the way you’ve taught them to treat you’.” “My friend used to say that to me at least once a week.” “Yea well, they’re smart and we’ve covered that you needed to listen to what they’d tell you more than you did. You also need to remember that you don’t control other’s emotions. And other people don’t control yours.”

“People think you’re manipulative and controlling. That’s what they’ve taken from your behavior. You can’t control that. You know it’s not what you intended. You know you’ve been improving for many months. I know you have. But you made them feel a certain way and their opinions didn’t change. You can look at that and acknowledge it and re-examine your behavior like you are. But you can’t change their minds. And their feelings don’t make you that person. So fixating on it doesn’t get you anywhere.”

And then she asked me if I was doing all of this for me or them and I told her I’m having a hard time prioritizing myself. That it pisses me off when people pull the “great pain means great growth. You’ll look back and smile” bullshit. Because the way this feels is terrible and I hate it. So, I know I can’t change anyone’s view of me, but I’m doing all this to try and be who I wanted to be for people who had to leave because of my behavior. And she accepted that.

I also have to start some EDM... pretty sure it’s 4 letters. It’s something to work through past trauma. She said she’d send videos to watch. My alanon group leader asked if she did that sort of thing last week so I guess that’s just where we are. Wait lol... edm is music lemme actually Google the acronym so I seem less ignorant. EMDR, damn dyslexia. Anyway. That.

But basically, I need to really work to not shred myself when I’m low. It’s gotten bad. I also need to start on my books that came yesterday. 2/3 are here. She wants me to try and list my codependent behaviors. I also need to start painting and journaling again. I like this outlet and it’s easiest for my brain, but the way I was doing it all in my watercolor notebook was really therapeutic. It’s just been a bitch of a week.

I’ll be fine and I feel less like having a breakdown or dying. I think I know another thing that is really fucking with me through everything, but I don’t feel comfortable posting it here right now I think. I also can’t do anything about it.

Last night in alanon a woman said “when one door closes another one opens, but the hallway is hell.” And like, yea. Fuck dude. I took a psych class once where the teacher had a gazillion psych type degrees and would open the class with us getting to ask about mental health shit. And one kid asked if it was possible to change personalities. And he said “sure, but you usually see it following a trauma where it rewrites your thought processes. Because it’s hell to do otherwise, and a lot of people can’t handle it.” And I get it now. I thought he meant habits and comfort zones. But it feels like being handed a pile of shards that used to be your brain and given a timelimit to reassemble it. But half the pieces are trauma copies and you have to figure out which parts are imposters, but they actually fit better than the pieces that should be there. And if you fail you lose everything.

Anyway, that’s where I am today. I queued a couple posts last night so you might see random downers, but what I’m thinking of doing is only reblogging positive stuff, and queueing negative stuff that resonated for like, 7am. And I say that because sometimes I rescroll my blog to recount the day or previous day to either feel good with the good posts again or reevaluate the things I’ve said the day before. Since with my mood they don’t always apply still or I may have a totally different approach at that thought. And I do that when I go to bed around 2. So at 7 I won’t be seeing negative shit right before bed. Cuz I’ve fallen asleep and woken up bitter the last few days.

We’ll see. I have lots to do today. I’ve been off twitter so no children have reminded me to do my taxes. I also have to get a new phone today so I’m fully out from under my mother. And I have insurance stuff and inspection cleaning to tackle. It’s only 1 and I’m ready to call it a day.

I hope what my therapist said helps anyone else who is struggling. I like hearing the lines that have stuck with patients and really helped them. So when it doesn’t fuck with me I’d like to be open about what I discuss in therapy. I always used to think it’d solve so many of my problems if I could send my friends zoom links of my sessions since I’m so bad at expressing myself lol. So this is also a bit of an exercise for me to be more outspoken about my feelings (if this bothers anyone you can send an anonymous ask) And therapy isn’t accessible to everyone so maybe it gives someone what they need to go forward a bit in their struggles. (Alanon and CoDa are free and on zoom now though! Definitely look into it if it applies to you!)

There’s a line in a bts song. Idk which one honestly, Ik it’s in the BE photo book though I can post a pic. It comes to mind because my friend would write it a lot when they first heard it. And it’s something like “sometimes we get to know that broken is beautiful”. My therapist today said “you are broken, everyone is. And no one is as broken as they think they are.” I hope one day this feels like a beautiful moment in my life and not the purgatory it feels like. I hope I grow enough for it to be worth it.

[nekoabi]

All of them

Right, lets start oversharing.

Just a couple warnings: Some answers involve anxiety attacks, death and suicide talk. 

Who hurt you the most?Hmm... If I’m completely honest, it’s likely myself, due to overthinking and being an anxious mess etc.

Who have you hurt the most?Lel myself, I guess?

Who do you miss the most?Old friends that I lost contact with who I don’t know how to talk to anymore...

Who do you want out of your life the most?There’s this one person who I see frequently irl who is kinda getting on my nerves a lot... So them.

Who had the biggest positive impact on you?My mum. She is basically my life goals.

Who had the biggest negative impact on you?This friend I had who was toxic. Used to be best friends, but as time went on and we both started going in different directions, suddenly she felt controlling. She almost had nothing positive to say to me or about me, always talking shit about myself, never letting me get out negativity around her... It got the point where I was scared to talk because I didn’t know how she’d react... 

She’s the reason my anxiety blossomed into what it is. I’ve always been nervous and shy, but she made it so bad.

Who do you wish you could be honest with?Some people irl. I wish I could tell them what I really think so I could maybe work past some things...

Who have you harbored (any kind of!) secret feelings towards?Idk... I mean, I still have a crush on the first girl I ever crushed on (even though she’s engaged and I wish I could still be her friend... or at least, know how to talk to her), I kinda still have feelings for other people I’ve dated... 

Who would the world be better off without?Shitty people who do shitty things and don’t work past them, or realise what they’ve done is shitty.

Who do you wish you’d treated differently?My cousin, back when we had this weird falling out... Since then, things have never really been the same...

What was the worst day of your life?Probably the day I got broken up with which was like... almost 2 years ago? Like now, I’m over it, but I remember just crying all night, and stuff... But hey, I’m good now.

What’s your greatest fear?Either spiders (highly arachnophobic, hello) or being alone forever, or being crowded too much... I have a lot of fears, and I don’t know which is “greatest”..

What’s your biggest insecurity?Um... god, I don’t know... I have a lot, but the only one coming to mind is my outward appearance, specifically how clothes fall on me and if what I’m wearing shows my awkward body and stuff...

What’s your biggest regret?Not getting involved with the shows back in school earlier.

Describe your ideal world.Place where everyone is actually accepted, no one hates on anyone for something that doesn’t affect them, everyone’s p chill, everyone’s happy and good and stuff. 

Describe your personal hell.Stuck in the middle of a busy room with no one I recognise while everyone tries talking at once, asking questions that I can’t answer. People then getting mad, people then yelling, people getting so angry that they don’t even show it.

What’s a hopeless dream you’re still holding on to?I... don’t know... Honestly, I have no ideas. I don’t know what dreams I currently have for myself...

What’s the most embarrassed you’ve ever been?During a lecture, my friend and I were messing around a bit - Idk what we were doing, all I remember is I took a step back. I thought there was nothing behind me, but instead there were two black boxes stacked up and my lecturer’s laptop onto of them. And I fell into them, knocking them over. Everyone looked at me, I was so close to crying, I can’t remember if I was frozen for a second or what, all I remember is I ran off and hid somewhere around the performance gym, and almost had an attack.

What’s the angriest you’ve ever been?I don’t know... I’ve been angry a lot, but I’ve never had just one moment where I’ve been “the angriest”. I can’t describe a scenario, but I can describe what happens.

When I get really angry, I start shaking and everything starts kinda slowing down. My vision focuses down for a second, kinda zooming in and I feel a wave of heat flow through my body. This is how I know I shouldn’t say whatever I’m thinking of saying because I know I’ll regret it.

What’s the saddest you’ve ever been?Again, probably the day I got broken up with, or the day I found out my grandma had died.

What’s the most scared you’ve ever been?I seriously don’t know. There’s been so many times when I’ve been scared shitless because of spiders, as well as when someone’s wanted to talk to me, or I’ve done something that I’m scared someone will find out when it was accidental... and like loads of other times... I’m just constantly scared.

What’s the most hopeless you’ve ever felt?Back in 6th Form. Before I knew that I wanted to work backstage. My only life goal was to finish school. After that, my life was to be over. Honestly, I’m getting back into that stage again, because I don’t know how I’m going to progress after university’s over...

What’s the most frantic you’ve ever felt?I checked the definition of “frantic” because I wasn’t sure and “distraught with fear, anxiety, or other emotion.” is what I found so let’s go with that.

I mean, any time I’ve had a fucking attack or cried because of being so fucking freaked? To find a different example, back when my school did Notre Dame. During God Help The Outcasts, I had to set some props - sticks used for a scene later - in the wings, in the corner. I was doing it like I always did, and for some reason, I think I tripped on something? and I turned the work lights on in the wing. I almost puked right there. I managed to turn them off and just ran away to the changing room and locked myself in the shower room and almost cried...

Just remembering that makes me so fucking tense...

What’s the bravest you’ve ever felt?Probably when I did a solo in front of a paying audience for the first and last time. It was only one of our Showcase shows, so it was only a small audience but still, I did it.

What’s the best case scenario for your future?Find a good job somewhere in theatre (or get a good reputation and keep getting hired), have a comfortable amount of money, have a comfortable place, have someone who i can be with, have at least one cat. Be able to just live without worrying too much about the simple things...

What’s the worst case scenario for you future?Having a job I really can’t stand, constantly worrying about the simple things, being completely alone, being unable to relax... 

What’s the most physical pain you’ve ever felt?Uhhh... I had a time where I missed like a month of school due to stomach pains that no one knew what it was, and that was fucking painful.I had period pains that made me collapse once. I caught the back of my heel under one of the rolling cages at Waitrose one day, and it was the heaviest one as it was full of milk and I bent my foot back and it fucking hurt... Still had to work for another hour and a half and walk the 40 minutes back home, and then go back to work the day after...

I haven’t really had extreme physical pain, I’m too scared of being hurt... 

What’s the most emotional pain you’ve ever felt?#BreakUp

Describe a time you felt like a hypocrite.Anytime I’ve given someone advice and then not taken it myself, I guess... I really try my hardest to not be a hypocrite, but that’s the biggest one...

Describe a time you felt like a traitor.I’ve sat here trying to think of something and I fucking can’t. So, never, I guess. I’m sure there’s been something fucking stupid or tiny that was really dumb that I was like “omg i’m a traaaaaitooooor!!” but i can’t fucking think of anything and I’m getting mad about it. So, lets fucking move on.

Describe a time you felt like a hero.Nothing has ever made me feel like a hero... I mean, I’ve felt good doing things for people, but never been like “omg look at me so hero!”So, never.

Describe a time you felt inhuman.All the time. Like right now. I feel empty. I don’t know how I should be feeling, or what I should be feeling, but I just feel gloomy and gross and shit. I just don’t feel human.Also, all those times I’ve looked at my reflection and gone, “No... that’s not me. Is it? It moves like me, but I just don’t... look right...”

Describe a time you felt like a failure.Lol all the time. Honestly. I feel like I’m failing myself by doing nothing.

What’s the worst thing you’ve ever done?Last night, I came up with “we’re coming up on the ejaculation station.” That’s probably the worst thing.

What are you proudest of?I mean, I’m proud I finally finishing Wind Waker. I’m proud I got an 85 on an assignment. I’m proud I’m still here, on this earth. Idk, just... whatever.

What’s your relationship with your family like?Mostly, it’s good. My family are really nice, my parents are amazing and I love them. My aunts are kinda problematic - one I really don’t like that much, one drinks so much that I don’t think I’ve ever seen her fully sober. My uncles are p cool, chill. My nan and grandad are nice enough, they just say things and believe things that are just... not okay. And my cousins are really cool, I like them.

What’s your relationship with religion like?I don’t have one with religion. I respect people who are religious - as long as they’re not using their religion to be a dick, but that’s usually just a sign of someone being a general asshole.

Talk about someone you’ve lost.My grandma died a few months before the end of last year. I wasn’t super close to her, but like there are so many things that I didn’t realise I’d miss... She’d call our house every week to talk to my dad, we’d be able to go and see her like every few months, all these small things that are now just not ever going to happen again.She was amazing though. She was always so nice to everyone. She was an amazing seamstress. She made a wedding dress for someone, she was always willing to help and make something for someone. She was always welcoming, but she could fuck you up if you did something bad.She was so good.

Talk about someone who abandoned you.My old flatmates from first year.I see some of them around and they just seem to ignore me, like all the time. Two of them, the two I was possibly the least closest to, are the ones who have had full conversations with me and have even considered inviting me to meetups that they all keep having...

Talk about a desire you have that scares you.The desire of just wanting someone scares me.It scares me because I know I am incapable of doing what needs to be done to do so. I can’t talk to people well, I can’t confess to people unless I’m close to them, I just can’t.And it scares me that I can’t do something that I need to do to fulfil what I want, because I know its only going to hurt me more and more and more.

What’s something you wish you were capable of?I wish I was capable of talking openly about more of my feelings to the people who hurt them or cause them to be the way they are. I’m more than happy to be open about various things I’ve “been through” and I don’t mind talking about feelings, but I can’t talk about them with people who hurt them because I’m too scared of what they’ll say, their reaction, how our relationship will then change... I wish I were capable of conflict.

What’s something you’re afraid that you’re capable of?I’m afraid I’m capable of hurting myself.The other day, I gave in to my frustration and hurt and anger, and hurt myself on purpose. Like more than usual. It was nothing that would show, thank goodness... but if I can give in to something like that, I’m scared I’m capable of giving into other things similar...

Describe the kind of life you wish you’d been born into.Just one where I wasn’t such a fucking coward, and I wasn’t so scared and anxious about everything. I enjoy my life, for the most part, that’s all I’d change - I think...

Describe your worst heartbreak.#BreakUpI don’t wanna talk too much about it because he’s still a really good friend. It just hurt because, at the time, I had really strong feelings. I’ve been able to get over those and be happy he’s my friend.

Describe your worst disappointment.I mean, I was super disappointed that I got a job offer for like the perfect place - GAME - but I had to turn it down due to the fact I had literally just started working at Disney Store that month and because they wanted me to do my first training shift on CoD release day... Because that makes fucking sense.The manager was just a total dick...

Have you ever taken a fall for someone?Probably? Idk when... but likely...

Have you ever forced or let someone take a fall for you?Definitely let others take a fall for me, but never for anything extremely bad - just small things...

Have you ever done serious physical harm to someone?Lol no, I’m no where near strong enough to do that.

Have you ever done serious emotional harm to someone?Not to my knowledge... If I ever have, it’s never been intentional...

Have you ever self-harmed?In ways, yes. As mentioned above. I’ve scratched my face, I’ve pinched myself, I’ve gripped myself so hard that it hurts, I’ve slapped and punched myself. I’ve let myself get almost burnt by the cold.But what most people know as self harm? No, I’ve never cut.Doesn’t mean the thought hasn’t crossed my mind.

Have you ever attempted suicide?No, never attempted.Considered? Many times.

Have you ever stolen something?Not anything major. Like I’ve taken a thing from the fridge at home or something petty like that, I’ve never stolen anything major or done it in public.

Have you ever cheated on someone?No. Never. What the fuck.

Have you ever been cheated on?Not really? I mean, there’s always the possibility someone did, but that was just a sham of a relationship anyway - didn’t even really like the guy, just couldn’t say no...

Have you ever taken revenge on someone?I don’t believe so... Not like actually, I’ve definitely considered it before but I don’t remember doing it outright.

Have you ever seriously considered killing somone?Yup. 

Have you ever betrayed someone who trusted you?Only for good reasons, like sharing their stories with someone who they don’t even know because I can’t handle it all on my own or telling someone about what they’re going through because its scaring me.

Have you ever experienced something supernatural or unexplainable?I mean, kinda? Nothing major, and it probably can all be explained by something sciencey. But like, back home, when I’m laying in bed (and haven’t moved for like ages), I sometimes like feel something move over the bedsheets or like rest against my legs. Idk what that is, but I like to think of it as the cats we used to have...

I’m sorry for the shitty tone through some of these, it’s just a really shitty day...

Thanks for asking

[cryamore]

MINI UPDATE PART 1: Backer-only Discord Server Questions

Mirroring a recent Kickstarter update over here on Tumblr to try and keep all the social outlets up to date.

This has to be split into two parts because Tumblr only allows five embedded videos per post.

Thanks for everyone’s comments and support on the previous Kickstarter backer only update! A good number of people have joined the Cryamore Backer Discord server that I started up.

We’ve got about 132 members on there right now and it may grow a bit more once I send out the invite to the Paypal backers as a means to get them caught up with what’s been going on behind the backer-only posts. I just have to mirror the backer-only posts in somewhere like Dropbox for their prolonged perusal and prepare a short list of Q&A in case they have any queries and I’ll send out this draft I’ve done.

With that said, I wanted to make a short update reiterating questions gathered from the Discord channels and sharing some of the things we feel we can have non-backers see since it won’t spoil the game... too much.

FoolishWolf asked: I guess my first question is if it is possible to give an ETA on the project at this point?

Rob: We want to be finished this year. We're currently in the "Polish" phase where all the moving and working parts are in, it's just a matter of cleaning up presentation, major bugs, and final art.

Alan: There are going to be gameplay polishes too as we go along. The mechanics we've got are now all adjusted to any suggestions we've taken in from our publisher's testing but we'd like to see if during the backer tests, anyone feels it could be improved further.

That's fair. I guess this is just the marketer in me, but is there gifs and videos that maybe you can release for the community for #Indiedevhour and #screenshotsaturday that we share around. Kinda get the hype train going?

Rob: We want to get back into doing more of that, yeah. Now that we're polishing stuff up.

Alan: We'll be sharing stuff as often as we can on Discord which we'll then pool together for the mini updates.

Clay | Terminally Nerdy asked:

Once the game is in a “playable” preview state, would you all want someone to stream/talk about it?

We’re absolutely okay with it as this would help reinforce the fact that the game is legit. We’ll make sure to mark which builds are public ready.

Can you get Atlus to port the Persona series to PC, and will Jack Frost be in the game?

We sadly don’t have that kind of pull but I personally would like to see the Persona series on PC too.

Phosphatide asked:

How close is it to the proposed "40+ tracks" from the Kickstarter?

We’re pretty much within the forty track count already. I’ll share surasshu’s answer here as it’s better to hear it from one of our composers.

here's a link to a larger version (just adjust the zoom) in case Kickstarter decides to shrink the whole thing to an unreadable point.

fpwong asked:

What do ppl usually use for programming AI in Unity? UE4 has inbuilt behaviour trees but idk if unity has anything of the sort.

Alan: We’re not sure about other people using Unity but for us, we’ve been using a mix of C# and FlowCanvas/NodeCanvas to achieve an easily tweakable AI system. It’s the same thing we used to set up our cutscene/dialogue system too, so it’s multipurpose!

Rob: This video is quite outdated though; It’s mostly the dialogue on example there and a few older bugs but that shows how the dialogue tree is set up, how it can control objects to walk away from the scene, change sprites and more.

Brendan (luigimeistersa) asked:

Hey dev guys. Does Cryamore have any kind of buffs you can apply to Esmy?

Alan: We sadly don’t have much in way of buff abilities besides things like Oxy Barrier which provide you with a protective bubble and allow you to breathe underwater or other abilities like Time Paradox and Shadow Cloak. You do get a Well Rested buff though from sleeping at the inn though and the buff comes at various tiers.

Can you bind them (abilities) to the row of number keys on PC?

Alan: We're using Rewired for Unity to support keybinding and a variety of controllers (here's a list) so you should be able to rebind controls to any key you wish on a desktop keyboard.

Rob: Controllers may be more limited for keybinding in comparison, however.

AreYouSmarterThanACheeseGrater asked:

So, how are you going to work sleeping? Will time advance a set number of hours or will time progress to the next morning/evening?

Alan: Here’s an excerpt from our design document to easily explain how sleeping works.

Take note, costs are subject to change but sleeping in specific beds advances time by a set amount and you get better rest in a shorter amount of time from the more expensive rooms at the inn (to be fully rested and free from fatigue for a day in just two hours would be amazing). You do have the option to be cheap and just sleep in your own bed but you use up more time in a day.

Downing energy drinks is a way to stay awake without having to sleep but you can only carry so much and it won't fully restore your fatigue and you'll eventually find yourself sleeping on the ground, helpless against any threats around you.

shadowreaper5 asked: Are you still looking for help? I can't draw or code, but if you need someone to poke every corner for bugs I'm your man

We'll put out a public call for assistants when there's nothing else left but the art polish push, there's a bit of design polish that Rob and I still have to work on here and there but when the backgrounds and pixel tracing are all that's left, we're hoping we get many applicants that're willing to stick through.

As for poking every corner for bugs, I've currently given 13 members on the Backer Discord @tester status. Having them on Discord will help us all communicate as they run the builds. I expect we're going to have a few questions of why the game won't start when loading a save (recurring bug that happened in old builds regarding data from a previous build being kept in the %appdata% folder on Windows systems and conflicting with the new build)

Does your [insert magic equivalent here] regenerate quicker if you sleep in a bed/inn?

Alan: In our aim to nail down the fun factor without sacrificing too much of the original vision, we decided to make EP regenerate automatically.

You should see it in action in this older stress test video that Rob shared on the Discord server.

As you can see, the blue meter to the lower left goes down each time Esmy uses a skill. The meter is actually comprised of a number of cells but displays as a meter, the cell count is shown to the right of the meter as EP <number>. Each ability eats a number of cells, i.e. an ability like Ignite Lv1 costs = 1 cell but Shadow Cloak of any level will use = 4 cells. A channeled ability like Boulder Dash will eat up a cell every second.

Cells can be increased by finding certain collectibles in the game.

Rob: You can also see in the video above that even in-editor, the game runs pretty smoothly (60FPS+) with 8 monsters and numerous adds it summons.

Alan: I've personally tried it on my own PC with a 1GB video card from 7 years ago and it runs fine in-editor and runs even better on a compiled build.

lemon-rev asked: With your post regarding the update, I can now fully understand why the game looks at is base level, playtime on each of those levels sounds great, but are they leveling, completing quests, just beating up mobs, I am sure each of those other sections that have to be redone for unity as well as the type of content for each one.

Some context is necessary here for the non-backers reading this. During the previous backer update, I mentioned the listed completion times we got for each dungeon when we had testers run through it, here are those numbers...

Northern Caverns v1 Build: 20-30 minutes

Rime Rapids v1 Build: 30-40 minutes

Molten Mountain v1 Build: 30-40 minutes

Terrestrial Woods v1 Build: 40-60 minutes  

Vale of Gale v1 Build: 40-60 minutes  

Sunken Ship v2 Build: 40-120 minutes

Mekanika v2 Build: 40-120 minutes

Phantom Marshes v2 Build: 40-120 minutes

The v1 builds were before I ran a level design revamp over the layouts so those numbers can go up. All in all though, that's currently around 4.6 hours worth of dungeon crawling (and there's one dungeon unaccounted for still).

With that bit of context given, to fully answer lemon-rev's question, take note, these are all approximate numbers as there was a guide provided for the publisher testers to consult and these numbers also DO NOT include boss fights, cutscenes or enemy ambushes. There's also the time required to head out into the overworld and look for and access those dungeons so we estimate that we could hit 12 hours at the very least of regular gameplay without completing any sidequests and hopefully 16-18 hours if you try to 100% the whole game.

sky asked: Is Linux still planned?

Yes! This is also why we're going to have to reach out to our backers for testing assistance as we've only been able to test on PC and Mac so far and do not have much if any Linux testbeds.

We've had a number of people on the Discord server that I've tagged as willing testers and we look forward to working with them soon!

CONTINUED IN PART 2