#maybe my calendar

[riewritten]

this could be due to my calendar & perhaps a huge red flag on my end but sylvia plath... my mother in whoring... i...m afraid i agree...

[chelseabeecreates]

Uhh this has been in my drafts for EIGHT YEARS

From the 2016 Coinelot Merthur Art Calendar, so if you were lucky enough to snag it way back then, you’ve already seen this! It was the art for August, so at least I’m posting in the right month? 😅

[coolnonsenseworld]

Another day another sketch ✨ I always try to give Keith other colors than black and end up regretting

[sabrevine]

hypnotizes you. ooo you want to read the calendar by @some-dull-scissors sooo bad.

[pup-pee]

im still not over that issue

NOT THAT I DREW THEM FROM THAT ISSUE BUT LIKE LIKE >???????????????

[sacchiri]

Hellsing 2002 calendar illustration.

Ein wunderliche und erschröckliche Hystori von einem großen Wüttrich genant Dracole wayda Der do so ganz unkristenliche marrter hat angelegt die mensche, als mit spissen als auch die leut zu Tod geslyffen

A wondrous and frightening story about a great berserk called Dracula the voivode who inflicted such unchristian tortures such as with stakes and also dragged people to death

[wuntrum]

if i were to make a horror pin up calendar, are there any particular people/creatures you'd want in it..?

[plusultraetc]

today I almost bought a whole entire calendar for Them

[tiniest-hands-in-all-the-land]

Heyooo! I spent the last year creating an incredibly self indulgent Ronadora Pinup calendar!

❤💜Pre0rder here!! ❤💜

I'm putting them up for preorder from today (12/06/23) to 12/16/23! Orders are to United States only, for now. This is my first time selling, so plz be kind ;w;

(And shoutout to @biscuitgeekery for the awesome product photos!)

[linnaealyn]

[mulders-too-large-shirt]

s2 episode 7 thoughts

hmm. hmm. that is the sound if me pondering what i just watched.

(i understand that this episode was an analysis into mulder's self-destructive behaviors when faced with overwhelming grief, but. that does not mean i enjoyed vampire hookup time)

well. we shall start from the top!

i read that it was an episode about vampires which i thought was a weird narrative choice because. hello. scully still gone??? but then i remembered that i too ignored the main quest in skyrim to hunt some vampires and that i had no place to judge

(granted, my main quest wasn't finding scully though. might have given that a bit more priority than saving the whole world. because she IS my whole world)

we open with a guy that looks like joe biden meeting with an attractive young woman. they're making out in a hot tub and we just know someone is gonna get slurped upon. and woe, it be upon us! double vampire attack.

back in DC, mulder gets his old office back! it's covered in plastic. he takes some of it off. he adjusts his calendar from may to november, so we see how much time he and scully had been assigned to other tasks, which also has me wondering how she managed to get a new house that quick.

(also, this calendar is... scantily clad women posing next to tools such as hammers and saws. was this allowed? was this acceptable? was it normal? were the 90's a lawless wasteland and mulder an irreparable freak?)

well. scully is an x file now, and he puts her glasses and id into an evidence bag and closes the filing cabinet which was sooooo evil. but he can't bring himself to put her necklace away. oh man. oh he's gotta have it in case he finds her. he has to hold her close. i'm Fine this is Fine.

so. he goes out to california to deal with the joe biden looking fellow being murdered. and he is not wanted on the crime scene. we know this because someone greets him by saying "nobody called the bureau" and he says "well, they should have" and lifts up the tape to let himself in. because one thing about him is that he's gonna let himself into a place he isn't wanted.

he sees the writing of a bible verse in blood on the wall and says something about their grasp of biblical knowledge being "feeble and literal" and i was like okayyy need to have a theological discussion with him

he then scares the other guy who originally wanted to kick him out by reciting a LARGE amount of facts related to similar cases and it's very much giving photographic memory. got me thinking, have we ever seen this man forget something? (directions don't count. they're confusing. but everything else sticks in that man's brain)

he just needs one thing: a phone book. which he uses to call a blood bank and ask about a new guy. who must be the vampire who did this!

so he rolls up to the blood bank and i'm over here struggling because i do Not Do Blood, and i knew at this point this was gonna be a tough watch, but i didn't anticipate the non-blood related reasons why this would be true

anyway he's sniffing around the blood bank and he hears some slurping and wouldn't you know, this dude is tearing into a bag of the red stuff like it's a capri sun. somehow he gets him into custody, where the dude refuses to talk because the lights are on, and mulder comes in with a lamp he put a red filter over, because he was prepared for vampire interrogation.

the vampire is going on about how what he did isn't murder because it's not like animals hunting prey is murder which is. not the greatest approach in terms of legal defense. mulder tells the guard that the guy is delusional and it's best to play along, and he believed this to be true... until he, quite literally, burned to a crisp in the sunlight. and died.

he's talking to the coroner and rattling off a bunch of vampire facts and says he didn't believe in vampires which is so funny to me because like. why is that where you draw the line, my friend. not at bigfoot and definitely not at aliens. but man. vampires are just too out there for spooky mulder. until now!

the coroner has a very funny line: "you are really upsetting me... on several levels" which seems to be the general effect fox mulder has on people. and also because i felt the same way about his dumbass actions during this episode.

coroner finds a stamp on the dead body's hand, which seems to come from a nightclub. so naturally our fbi agent ends up there.

you often see posts saying that "(insert character here) should be at the club". i fear that this is not the case for fox mulder, but it's possible that it's his suit and tie that are throwing me off. he just doesn't seem like he belongs there. i ask myself, where should he be instead? perhaps some sort of star wars convention would suit him better. a book signing with some author he likes. idk, an interior decorating festival. not here.

i shall use my verbatim words to walk you through the next scene:

"pause. he's talking to a woman who was looking into a compact without a mirror. so. vampire suspect. and now why are they getting so close together. and getting a drink. okay now they're leaving to a new spot together? AFTER she admits to vampirism"

(here she did some stuff that required me to look away from my screen due to my Weak Constitution. but also it would have felt necessary to look away anyway because it was getting... charged)

she tries to get him to... suck on her finger... but he won't do it because aids. which is fair. i think that's a smart move, actually. it's just that getting flirty with a vampire he knows was involved with a ton of killings was such a stupid move, i don't know why it's now the braincells start to kick in.

that kills the vibe, though, so she gets another guy to take his place and things escalate.

mulder pulls in at a restaurant called ra. nice! the sun god! and he is... through a window, witnessing some more slurping action. he seems to want to intervene and save this poor soul being feasted upon...

but the poor soul is no poor soul at all! he comes out and decks mulder, and delivers this line with stunning conviction: "i don't know who you are, freak, but we're two consenting adults" and with this, he is forced to flee.

and yeah. it made me laugh. my expectations for the genre were subverted. he signed up for that shit! what he did not sign up for, however, was the next part, where he was killed by the other vampires.

cut to investigating the crime scene. mulder has brought along a forensic dentist, which is a job i had no idea you could go into. he needs to see about those bites, which are very human.

next they go to vampire woman's house. it's a very nice place. mulder... opens her oven. and sees a loaf of bread in there. and i'm thinking, man, i hope this doesn't go where i think it's going. baked goods... ovens... i never want a vampire pregnancy arc. but he cracks open the loaf and something red spills out and somehow, this to him means that she is gone and isn't coming back. he can read the signs of the bread. so add that to his resume. what did the bread tell you, my liege?

he seems to have stayed in her house, however, because he's there when she's back, and says he knows she was using the bread as a charm to ward off evil. because apparently that's an eastern european thing, blood bread to warn off evil. sound off if any eastern europeans in the chat wanna confirm or deny.

anyway. he's IN this woman he thinks is a vampire's HOUSE? what the hell. mulder seriously i need you to stop and think. like you should have stopped and done some thinking a while ago. honestly i'm not mad i'm just disappointed. and he's like "i want to save you come with me before they kill you" ohhh big tough man needs to save her huh. make him feel good inside. huh. certainly no ulterior motive here...

she's monologing about her horrible childhood and how sweet blood tastes. um girl. don't lie to him like that. i have busted my lip open before that stuff does NOT taste sweet and dangerous. it's like a penny with rust that you found in a parking lot.

it seems her vampiric origin story, if to be believed, is that things simply got too kinky. which is a new take on the genre.

(it's also about being caught in an abusive relationship and the damage that inflicts, but it seems abusive boyfriend came into vampirism at his kinky parties and things escalated from there. which. well. it blew the eyebrows clean off my head, to be fair)

at this point we see that he is WEARING SCULLY'S NECKLACE? he says something like "it's from someone i lost" and she says that she "hopes he finds her"

i did not like the undertones here and certainly not the overtones. because i knew where this was going. he was shaving in her bathroom. and let me tell you something: there is only ever a shaving scene in media because the writer needs a way to get some blood out of someone's body and into the real world. and man. i knew it was coming.

but what i didn't see coming was her SHAVING HIM??? girl. i am uncomfy. and she does, of course, cut him, and then they kiss. aggressively. terribly aggressively. can anyone answer what was going on in a satisfactory manner?

but the gag is: the original vampire- who burnt to a crisp in the jail cell, and was the abusive ex she spoke of- HE'S WATCHING THEM THROUGH THE WINDOW!

he breaks in and taunts the vampire woman about how he had to "wait for her to finish" and i was like cool. thank you SO much for that mental image i'm super happy with it. i definitely don't feel like i need a shower. but then he's going on about how he can't be killed.

here, at the tail end of the episode, we learn the rules of vampirism in this world: a vampire cannot be killed by a non-vampire. and a non-vampire BECOMES a vampire by consuming the blood of a believer and also taking a life. it is only here we realize that this woman is not an actual vampire yet, she just appropriates their culture by drinking blood unnecessarily.

mulder's still sleeping in her bed and she's like "you need to leave" and she stabs the wall to make her evil ex think she's killing him. but when they go to break out, mulder ties him up quite handily and he gets in the car to escape with vampire woman. until ANOTHER vampire woman jumps on the hood of their car. and main vampire woman knocks her out for a bit by running into her with said car, which is super effective.

mulder's leaving the place in shambles, his shirt still unbuttoned, wandering down the side of the hill. back at the house, now that we know the vampire rules, main vampire woman says she can finally kill the evil vampire ex. and he's like how!! you haven't had the blood of a believer or taken a life. so. she licks the blood off her hands (unclear if it's hers or mulders tbh) and says she'll take her own life. and drops a match after pouring gasoline.

so. that brings that to an end. and shabby looking mulder sits on a hill as he learns all four in the house died.

the episode ends with him playing with scully's necklace. which i don't even sort of feel like unpacking right now but maybe another time.

probably not, though, because i just didn't like this episode. and yeah, a lot of it comes down to me not wanting to see mulder hook up with people who aren't scully. can you blame me? is it so wrong to have preferences in this world?

but also, narrative wise- do you honestly see the guy fucking off to cali while scully's still missing to deal with an unrelated problem instead of devoting every hour of his life to finding her, like we saw him do in the last episode? you expect me to think he just puts it off for a lil while? the guy who, just last episode, pulled his gun on the ski lift operator to get to the top where she might be a little faster, and then choked his one and only suspect out of fury? you're thinking this is the guy that's gonna go soak up some west coast rays?

and yeah, he was obviously not himself through the episode- very cold and analytical- but c'mon. we all want to bang a vampire. he's not special. i just personally wouldn't do that if my friend were gone. like how is that gonna help the situation. be so for real. time and place!

and also the whole only learning the rules of being a vampire about 5 minutes before they need it to be plot relevant. that annoyed me too.

overall, mulder, like i said, i'm not mad, just disappointed.

let me know what you thought on this episode- i try to not be a hater, but i also understand that hating in small doses can be good for the soul. if it's a widely beloathed episode i'll feel better in my judgement as i join a long tradition of haters who have come before me.

[becca-e-barnes]

Not to be too filthy but the thought of dbf!bucky warning you that he's not going to pull out?? 🤤

I've been thinking about this a lot today and I really like imagining the way he'd position you however he wants you. He doesn't tell you what he wants you to do, he just guides you instead.

Because I love the thought of him pressing gently on your shoulders while he's kissing you, urging you to sink to your knees for him. You take the hint, opening your mouth while watching him undo his belt but he swears he might lose it when you press your tongue over your bottom lip.

"Good girl." He tries not to sound too breathless when he presses his slick tip to your lips, letting you taste his precum, smearing it over your waiting tongue. It's not long before you're eagerly taking all of him, sucking and licking and enjoying the weight of him in your mouth. You feel the tip press to the back of your throat and you do your very best to remember to breathe, trying to ignore your own growing arousal.

The hand on the back of your head keeps you in place while he thrusts in and out of your mouth and it's nice to just let him take for a little while. When you need to, you can press back against his hand and give yourself a break but the praise he showers you with makes it's hard to focus on anything other than the throbbing between your own legs.

"Fuck, look at you." He groans, applying a little more pressure to the back of your head and you try to stifle your gag reflex when he nudges the back of your throat once more. "Such a perfect mouth. Feels like you were made for this, weren't you, baby? You take me like such a good girl."

God, you want to agree. Something about being his good girl leaves your panties soaked and your body desperate. He treats you right. He cares about more than just your pleasure; he cares about how you're feeling, inside and outside of the bedroom. He's good to you and that simple fact makes the sex even better.

Before too long, he's pulled back from your mouth and he's holding your chin gently, encouraging you to stand up again before he presses you back onto the bed.

You whimper quietly at the feeling of his thick fingers grazing the little soaked lace panties you're wearing before he takes them off and lets them drop to the floor.

"Please." You gasp, letting your fingers drift over your soaked sex with an urgency that surprises your partner. Bucky watches as two of your own fingers slip into your cunt before you trail them up to circle your clit. He doesn't miss how they glisten, coated in evidence of your overwhelming arousal.

Relief floods you when you feel him press his tip to your entrance, letting him sink slowly into you. Nothing compares to the feeling of that first glide into your body. It's intimate but it's downright filthy at the same time.

"Best fucking girl for me." Bucky groans the words between kisses to your neck, slowly pulling out before pressing back where he belongs.

You can only whimper, fingernails digging into his back, forever urging him to fuck you harder.

"I hope you know I'm not pulling out tonight." The words make your cunt flutter with excitement and you almost wonder if he can feel it. "Feels too good. I'm going to stuff this pretty pussy full." He cradles your face in one hand, his eyes locked on yours and you're acutely aware that there's nothing you want to feel more than the gush of his cum into your body.

[cozylittleartblog]

... oh, that? that's just a fun picture book i get to change every month. i don't know what the bottom pages mean. anyway, i wish someone would invent a solution to this problem

[dnovep]

thank fuck may 2025 will start on a thursday!! i'd love to say i planned it

[kazz-brekker]

mostly i find the adaptational deviations that game of thrones made from the source text either bad or rage-inducing or both, but i do find it funny that we have it 100% confirmed from grrm himself that coldhands is not benjen stark and the show was just like "well what if he was anyway?"

[julykings]

kind of in my hermit era lately and trying not to feel bad about it im just such a homebody these days