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shewhowillnotbenamed1 · 5 years ago

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Beach House

An escape from the city for just one weekend.

The thought alone sent an eruption of butterflies bursting into Raven's stomach and a series of tingles down her spine.

It sounded like a dream.

The drive up the coast had been idyllic. Though, there was one thing Damian failed to mention until they made it past the hedge-lined walkway to the entrance of the mansion-size beach house. Their 'impromptu' visit fell on the annual Wayne family weekend. And it would also mark the first time they met Raven. He hadn't prefaced this trip with a warning, but any mixed feelings quickly melted away into amazement.

There was nothing that could have prepared her for the Wayne family weekend in the Hamptons.

Boats and brunches. Lobster bakes, crab cakes and country clubs - it was another world.

It was hardly Raven's usual scene, but it was his family's. So for the next few days, it would be hers. Even though Damian hadn't warned her, she wasn't worried. Raven knew he had a reason for springing this on her. Besides, if she had him by her side, she could handle one trip. Maybe even enjoy it, too.

And with the view from the top of the lighthouse on Montauk Point with Damian's heavenly arms surrounding her or skinny-dipping with him on a darkened corner of Cooper Beach, she was enjoying herself - a lot.

But, one of her favorite parts of being at the beach house surrounded by Damian's family was the new ways she got to see him flustered. Whether it was rolling his eyes at Tim's caffeine intake and Dick's immature eating habits. Or even elbowing Jason for the bad puns, then swiftly cutting off his father when he insisted on camaraderie.

She even heard him arguing that Cass had to be present for the entirety of the five courses and dessert, if he did. And of course, he spent a good deal of time slapping away any unsolicited hands (Steph) that tried to pinch and prod his nonexistent baby fat.

Off to the side, watching push-up and handstand contests followed by Tim and Damian's stock talk with their father, Raven fought off smiles all night.

Damian seemed to be in a perpetual state of annoyance with his family and there were several times she found herself stifling laughter. This was another side of him she hadn't gotten to know yet - his sisters and brothers teasing him, treating him like the baby in the family and him refusing it at every turn. Raven liked to watch him like this, interacting with them. Even though this atmosphere was completely new to her, she felt at home. Because it was still him - it was exactly Damian.

But around her, he wasn't.

It was concerning when they arrived and Damian hadn't argued against Selina's offhanded mention of separate rooms. In fact, he encouraged it. And every time Raven turned the corner, he was shutting the door or closing drawers. Not only were they not spending their nights tangled up together, but Damian had morphed into a pod person when she needed him the most.

Raven couldn't believe her biggest worry when meeting Damian's family would turn out to be Damian.

------------

He was pulling away from her.

Damian regretted bringing her here and introducing her to his family, so he was pulling away. No wonder he agreed to separate rooms, he had been skeptical from the start.

And by extension, his family wasn't sure about her. Or maybe it was the reverse. After all, Raven had spent far too much time reading on the beach, under an umbrella and a thick cover-up, or drinking tea on the back porch, or at the island in the kitchen conversing with Alfred.

She had a difficult enough time fitting in with people who weren't her boyfriend's family, let alone people who were so comfortable and at ease with each other they knew all of each other's ticks to a fault. Even their dog seemed to be privy to all the inside jokes and the gags.

The joking around and teasing, Raven had never had that. A family.

A real one.

It terrified her, but she was willing to try because Damian was the most important person in the world to her.

"Maybe Raven would like to join us for our tradition of game night...?" Bruce suggested at the breakfast table, before taking another long sip from his coffee cup. Unsurprisingly, Raven, Bruce, Dick, and Damian were the first ones up that morning. Raven, Bruce, and Dick by choice. Damian, of course, picked up the habit from her over time.

"Oh..." Raven glanced at Damian who peered sideways at her, a half quirk on his lips as he fiddled with his fork. He was still acting strangely. "I'm fond of games, Mr. Wayne... Chess, checkers, scrabble, backgammon, cards," She offered.

"Great, it's tonight at eight." Dick finished, before taking in a huge spoonful of Lucky Charms. "With your repertoire you can replace Damian on my team..." He coughed out something that sounded along the lines of losing streak. "We should talk strategy, Raven," he said out of the side of his mouth, while Damian shot him a glare so threatening, it could have boiled his milk.

"It'll be great to have you on the team." Bruce folded his newspaper neatly, about to take his leave. He stood, his stern stare softened for a split second. "And please I may be getting up there, but, you really should call me Bruce."

Raven felt her cheeks warm and mentally cursed herself for being overly formal. After a breath, she excused herself from breakfast as politely as she could. "Breakfast was lovely." Alfred nodded, as she rose up to place her teacup and saucer on the metal tray. "Thank you, Alfred."

As soon as she was out of sight, she headed in the direction of her room. Raven stood against the wall, resting her head against the cool plaster and stared up at the high beam ceilings.

All the names of Damian's family members and their friends, who was dating whom, and who was still speaking to whom swirled around in her head in an endless loop. Social engagements weren't terribly difficult and normally she could handle them. But with Damian acting strangely, suddenly it felt that much harder. There were times during the weekend that it felt as though Alfred was her only ally in a sea of chaos.

Not far behind, Damian had haphazardly refolded his napkin and excused himself from the breakfast table. Raven let out a startled yelp as he touched her arm. She hadn't heard him come in. "Damian - what are you doing in here?" He drew her back into his body's embrace - enveloping her with heat, the way he did to ensure she felt safe. From his parted lips to the curl of his fingertips, he vowed to wield her with wonderful wickedness. Raven felt her whole being blush, clearly there was much more than a casual caress on his mind.

"It's important." His mouth inched closer to her own. Those dark green were burning of dangerous promises, the growl under his tongue was audible. The surreptitious and svelte movements until she was backed into a corner were all reminiscent of a dangerous predator, a jungle cat. "This can't wait." Raven was almost sure he could hear her blood pounding in anticipation of whatever sinful act he planned to commit.

Her body's reaction could hardly be helped.

"What exactly can't wait?"

He pressed his lips to her neck. Nibbling and nipping with his hands disappearing under the sides of her shirt to massage her waist. Up and down, his fingers danced. And Raven could do little but whimper, feeling herself heat up faster than she had in the beach house's steam shower. And then, she melted. She was falling further into Damian's touch with her hands at last bringing themselves up to thread through his hair, as though to cement him even more tightly against her.

"My need for you... Something about you in the house I spent my summers in growing up..." Damian let out a ragged breath. "But not being able to touch you... I'm not going to make it..." He attacked her jawline, chin and cheeks with an onslaught of frantic, feverish kisses. "But, I promised myself I would wait..." Those green eyes singed her.

"Damian..." She gasped at his words, smoldering gaze, and his fingers sliding down the expanse of pale back before they ran across the dimples above her ass. Raven only managed to pull herself back a fraction of an inch. But he seized the change in perspective as an opportunity - to catch her earlobe between his teeth. "Damian, what if someone catches us?"

"Screw them... I need you." Damian murmured into her ear, clasping their palms together. "I wanted to do this right, but... I'm not used to you being so far from me." She hardly needed the reminder. The separate rooms. There was no cuddling, no spooning. No candles and late night kisses that turned into - this. "I'm suffering..."

So was she.

That was hardly fair.

Raven turned her face. "I'm a guest in this house. I'm your guest..." She angled her hip away from his, but he wrapped his fingers around it insistently. "It wouldn't exactly bode well for me if we hooked up here. Or now." Her argument dissolved away, diluted with his hands diving into divots and dips.

He grasped her chin. "Just one more kiss." Every letter pronounced like a purr brushing her mouth with their hot strokes. "I need another... That one wasn't long enough..."

"I can't - I shouldn't." Raven tried. Her hands were braced on his hard chest. The tautness of his muscles hardly helped. Every ab line and pec was heightened and heavy and wrought with tension under her touch. And it was all for her. But she couldn't. "It's your family, Damian... I want them to like me or at least tolerate me..."

She heard low grunts of frustration echo up his throat. "Raven, relax. Everything is fine... In fact, they could stand to like you less if you ask me," he said under his breath. "What does it really matter if we're caught?"

Raven felt herself recoil from him. No matter how much she didn't want to. "No, Damian. We can't." She turned her cheek. Pulling away and wiping her mouth. "And you can't just...kiss away the distance between us the last few days."

There was a tonal shift in the atmosphere. And his body went completely rigid and his expression went grave.

"Raven, what are you talking about?" Damian asked her, but he avoided her eyes for a second too long. It had to be true. He knew exactly what she was talking about. He flashed in palms in a wide armed surrender. "Look this weekend... It's not...what you think..."

"The separate rooms..." She said slowly. He wasn't looking at her. Raven's heart plummeted down to the soles of her feet. They weren't in lock-step. Things really had veered off course if they weren't in sync. "You do know what I think. You have for a while." Raven shook her head and turned on her heel.

This time, Damian didn't follow.

-----------

In the back of the Waynes's private beach, Raven sat alone facing the tides, her petite body elongated along the rail of the gazebo. She watched the waters wash away the sand, over and over, lapping at the shore.

Everything began to flow out of her.

There was a whole world Damian shared with his family that he had never shown her. She felt like she was getting to know him all over again. Normally she would have leapt at the chance to get to know her boyfriend even better.

But this was different.

What if the people who raised Damian decided they didn't like who he had become when he was with her?

Damian approached the small silhouette of a girl, her body overlaid on the rail of the gazebo, the connected arches carved in wood. He watched the way the wind whipped through her hair as she stared off into the sunset with the thick slip-covered book laying on her lap.

It was a framed photograph.

"You must be freezing." Raven turned to him when she felt a thick blanket drape across her shoulders. But, he sounded a bit worried and his brow creased with concern. "You missed dinner... When you weren't in your room. I thought... Part of me was afraid you..."

He stared at his feet in the sand. "You thought I left?" Out of the corner of her eye she saw him close his eyes, squeezing them shut. "I couldn't do that..." She tucked the blanket around herself. Suddenly Damian leapt up and grabbed her tight, holding her quietly. For several long moments, she felt the truth in each frantic pound of his heart. When it slowed at last, Damian exhaled and released her. Breathing heavily. "I missed a lot more than dinner... Didn't I?" Raven gave him a sad, knowing smile.

"What are you talking about?" Damian started. He stared oddly at her amethyst eyes. "Did someone say something to you? Was it Stephanie? Or Jason? Because I swear -"

"No - no." She said softly. Damian watched her, as the wind wildly swept strands of her black about her face. "I missed things... Like having a real family."

They were a part of him. They were a part of who he was before he met her. She knew she was the odd woman out, but being around them was nice.

Really nice.

"Oh..." Damian stared off at the water pensively. "No - if anything you lucked out..." He ran a hand through his hair. "They go overboard and they talk too much... They're annoying. They push your buttons and borrow your imported silk tie without asking -"

"You know that doesn't make them any less great..." Raven sighed. "In the back of my mind, I knew if I ever met them, they would be wonderful. They would have to be if they were your family. But... really they are..." Raven stared off at the fading red sphere on the waters, like a bright beacon. A guide... Or a warning. "And I'm not."

"What?" Damian spat harshly. Almost accusingly. "Raven, why would you say that?"

"Because... this is the Hamptons and this is your family..." She said quickly. "You're already notorious in Gotham, here you're practically royalty..." Raven fumbled. "I'm just an outsider."

It was hardly the Hamptons she cared about. Raven felt like the waters should rise up and take her away.

"No, that can't be it..." He shook his head. "You never cared about those things before." Damian's face bordered on anger. "What changed?"

Raven bit her lip, trying to contain it as she made sense of it in her own mind. "I met the most important people in your life and they're perfect." Raven confessed. "But your family probably wants you to date someone who's equally perfect. Someone who belongs with you..."

It would be far worse to lose Damian if they decided they didn't approve or didn't want her.

"You belong with me." Damian spoke as though she was delirious. He edged closer to her. "Everyone in my family has felt like an outsider at one point or another. Hell, we're not even all related. Most of us are adopted or step-somethings."

"You guys certainly fit together like you're related." Raven hadn't meant to sound accusing, but she couldn't help it. He had to realize that only served to make the family even more perfect - not less.

Just like Damian.

The pale girl shifted and dangled her legs off over the side of the gazebo as she faced him.

Those dazzlingly vert orbs were staring into hers, searching. "Are you regretting meeting my family?" He asked softly.

"No." Raven's pale feet kicked at the sand swept air absentmindedly, feeling childish as she did so. "I just wanted everything to go perfectly..." Then, even more so as she spoke the words aloud. "I wanted to make the best impression possible - I wasn't prepared and I didn't pack enough outfits or separates..." She dragged a hand down her face. "I didn't even know separates were their own clothing category until two days ago."

Damian fixed her a disbelieving stare. "Separates...?"

"I'll never fit in at a yacht club, I don't tan, and this is the one white dress I packed... " She gestured down to the loose linen mini dress. She was losing her nerve or her grip - she didn't know what, but she was losing it. "I hardly have enough white to make it through the rest of the trip -"

Her words died in her throat the second he placed those comforting hands onto her thighs. Holding her steady and supporting her with ease. "That's too bad." Raven froze and he smirked. "I'm sorry, but you have to stay for the whole weekend, my family already loves you... It's too late for you."

Her mouth opened and closed several times before she could finally bring herself to speak. "I made a horrible first impression..." Raven's lips parted. "And I was much too quiet... There's no way - they could...?" She couldn't bear to finish her words.

"I do... So why wouldn't they?" And Damian braced himself on the wood railing on either side of her hips and placed a long kiss to her forehead, trailing down to each of her cheeks and Raven promptly muffled her face into his chest.

She gasped. "Game night," Raven realized, wiping an escaped tear quickly. "Is it...too late for game night? Did I miss it?"

Damian traced her cheek with his fingers. "No, everyone waited for you. It's not a proper game night without you. You're one of us now." Damian smiled. For one long moment, his handsome face lit up, painted with vibrant reds, pinks, yellows, like the sunset. He looked ridiculously, genuinely happy in ways Raven had never seen before. And he captured her lips softly. Solidifying that fact. Driving it home over and over with his warm mouth caressing hers. She was one of them, she belonged.

"Okay... What about -" He kissed her again and pressed his forehead to hers.

"Don't worry. We'll get you more white -" Raven's entire being rose up with the tides at what he said next. "A dress..." It sounded like a promise of so much more. "The perfect white dress."

And true to Damian's words, Raven looked stunning in white.

Damian clasped her hand, stretching out their interlaced fingers between them, until only their pinkies remained linked before the colors of the sunset. And they walked with their bare feet kicking up the sand on the wind by the glistening water of the beach. Until they finally made their way to the back of the house where his family stood waiting.

They were silent - no chattering or arguing, but waiting patiently, tensely, or even eagerly.

With his other hand, Damian reached into his trouser pocket and dragged a finger once more over the black velvet box before squeezing it tight.

Yes.

He had known for a while.

That Raven belonged at his side, with his family all around them, wearing a white dress.

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becausewerebatfam · 6 years ago

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Age Matters (2)

Damian Wayne x Reader

Damian falls in love with an older woman.

Warning: Talks about age when it comes to relationships. Not at all inappropriate. Maybe some suggestive content.

[ Master List ]

"Father, what are your thoughts on courting an older woman?”

Bruce turned away from the Batcomputer almost instantly. Damian always seemed emotionally closed off, he had worried he would never care for anyone but himself. The question thankfully brought some peace of mind. “Age does not matter as long as both of you are responsible adults.” Of course, he also began thinking, calculating if you will, who could have caught Damian’s eye. To his very accurate knowledge, his son had never been in a relationship.

Damian nodded acknowledging his father’s response. He was nineteen now, only months away from his twentieth birthday. He was able to do just about anything with the exception of consuming alcohol but he had no desire to drink it anyway.

It wasn’t too surprising to hear he was interested in someone older. Having been raised like an adult by Talia made him mature for his age. Bruce figured the woman had to match Damian’s mental age, with a tough personality that could handle Damian’s. A name came to mind, “Are you seeing someone?”

“Not yet, soon.”

If he was right Bruce knew he had to give his son a warning. “It can be difficult to mix work and romance.”

Damian wasn’t the least bit worried about that or the fact that his father seemed to know it was you he was referring to.

After your incident with Owlman Damian went back to his usual self around you. He didn’t want you to push him away or distance yourself further. He wanted to be there for you when you needed help. Even if it hurt, he assured you his feelings had gone away. It all seemed to work because soon you were back to your usual self. You visited the tower again, confided in him, and once again he was the first person you called when you needed help.

Feigning to forget you was much harder. Especially when he had to see you with Roy. Yeah, you dated Roy Harper and he blamed Jason for it. Even if you two didn’t last long the jealousy he felt was overwhelming. If he was able to handle that he knew he could handle this. “I can handle it.”

+++

The manor was quiet allowing Damian to hear the light footsteps that quickly approached his bedroom door. He opened it just in time for you to bump into him. Your face hit his chest reminding you that you had one less thing you could tease him about. He was now taller than you and made of bricks apparently because the impact was strong enough to send you falling onto your ass. “God, Damian!” You pinched the bridge of your nose hoping no blood would come from it. “Are you trying to become a wall?” you laughed seeing his disdain.

“I was going to apologize but you can forget it now.”

“You? Apologize?” you asked incredulously. Your right hand extended out towards him, “a little help?”

Damian rolled his eyes but helped you up nonetheless. “Why are you sneaking up here?”

“I wasn’t sneaking.” You were but you weren’t going to admit it now that you had failed. “I was just looking for you.” You walked in taking a look around his room noting all the new paintings he had brought back from the tower. “I heard you finally came back and left Jon in charge of the Titans.”

His lips curved up slightly seeing you walk into his room unlike at the tower where you would awkwardly stand at the door.

“I also heard you broke some hearts this last year.” Jon had told you everything about Raven’s crush on Damian and how oblivious he was to it. What surprised you most was his anticlimactic response to the kiss she had given him right before he left. Although Jon didn’t disclose his words to you he said Damian had other things on his mind. Whatever it was you were relieved Damian had experienced teenage love.

“Tt,” Damian cursed Jon’s big mouth. “That kid-”

Although you hated to admit it, a part of you was also jealous. He had really gotten over you but all you had been doing was thinking of him. You tried your best to forget what Damian said, even going as far as dating Roy, but it stuck with you. “W-why did you reject her?”

Your stutter didn’t go unnoticed. Damian began to examine your expression but you turned your back to him wanting to hide the fact that you were biting your lower lip. He smirked suddenly feeling very in control, “Why are you so interested?”

“I’m not!” you huffed. Trying to compose yourself from the outburst was hard. Your heart was racing and you knew why...you couldn’t deny it. This had solidified your assumption, you loved Damian. “I just...” you trailed off unsure of what to say.

While your heart raced your cheeks began to change color. Damian eyed you remembering his own actions when you would speak of Roy. “Just what?” He began to hope you were jealous as well.

You couldn’t handle being alone with him any longer. “Sorry, I know it’s none of my business.” You smiled your usual smile trying to put the awkwardness behind you. This was a special day for Damian. Not only did he come back to the manor with the intention of taking over as Batman but he was also reaching a new milestone. You didn’t want to ruin it with your unwanted emotions. “Can you come with me?” You pulled him by the arm knowing everyone was waiting for you to bring him down.

“Where?”

+++

Upon entering the Batcave Damian was attacked by colorful confetti. “What the-” Damian growled at Tim who had thrown the colorful pieces of paper a little too enthusiastically at his face.

“Happy Birthday!”

Tim laughed feeling a lot better about having to wait so long for you to get him. “You’re right Jason, that was fun.”

Dick charged at Damian hugging him tightly. “My Dami’s all grown up!” He felt more like a father than a brother at that moment. His little sparing partner who fought for the cowl was finally going to wear it.

Damian had lost count of how many times he had said that over the years. “Grayson get off of me!” He struggled to push the older male away as another arm was wrapped around his shoulders. “Welcome to adulthood kid, let’s go get you a drink.”

“He has to be twenty-one Jason!”

“I know a place that-”

Bruce cleared his throat making everyone turn and note his entrance. “There will be no underage drinking.” He was accompanied by Alfred and Steph who was carrying a birthday cake with Damian’s name on it.

“Sorry I’m late-” Jon flew in at full speed in a fit of laughter when he saw the group hug situation going on with Damian. “Can I join too?” he asked even though his arms were already open.

“What are you doing here Kent?” Now Damian really was stuck in place. “Don’t you have work to do?” Even though he was scowling Jon knew Damian appreciated when people remembered his birthday. “Aww, I love you too buddy.” It had only been a week since Damian moved out of the Tower but Jon already missed him.

Both you and Steph couldn’t resist taking a picture of the moment. “Bruce, Alfred...” you guided the two of them closer to the action. No one could forget about the two most important men of Wayne Manor.

“Tim get in there!” Steph pushed him towards the group but Tim didn’t hug him. There was no more Damian to go around and he was fine with it. He simply stretched his hand out to poke his bicep. “Happy?”

“Very!”

Damian sighed as the picture was taken. Here he was thinking everyone would finally start treating him like an adult instead he’s being coddled more than ever. Once everyone finally let go he went straight to you. “You are to blame for this.”

You giggled, “guilty as charged.” The bright smile a result of having pulled off the surprise. “I know your birthday isn’t until tomorrow but this was the only way to surprise you.” It was always your wish to get the drop on him. “I know how much you hate surprises.”

Damian silently scowled not wanting to admit defeat.

“Can we go now?” Jason asked and immediately Tim, Dick, and Jon got into one of Bruce’s luxury vehicles. The driver’s seat was left empty for Damian knowing how much he loved to drive. “Hope he doesn’t kill us before our own birthdays,” Tim commented securing his seatbelt.

“Come on kid while the night is young.” Jason opted to drive his bike, luxury cars were too small to accommodate his stature.

Damian looked to you for an answer.

“Tonight the city is being looked after by Gotham’s finest female vigilantes while the young master Wayne celebrates his twentieth birthday Jason Todd style.” Your response sounded scripted because it was. Jason only agreed to sit through the surprise part if you said those words exactly. “Whatever that means.”

“What?” His eyes narrowed in a way that told you he was not very fond of the surprise and was about ready to kill you.

“Don’t worry Jon’s a minor so it can’t be too bad.” When Jason revved his bike you sensed how excited he was for tonight. Genuine worry settled in. Even though you explained numerous times that Damian turned twenty not twenty-one it was possible he would break some laws.

Damian immediately caught the doubt in your eyes. “Even you don’t believe that.” Your shaky sigh confirmed it. Both of you knew Jason had a way around everything.

“Please take care of Jon for me.” In your eyes, Jon was like a sweet, innocent, little brother who needed protecting from the world or in this case Jason Todd.

Damian thought about the situation at hand, "On one condition.”

“What condition?”

Damian leaned in closely to whisper in your ear, “Don’t go home tonight.”

Chills ran up and down your spine when you felt his lips ghost over the shell of your ear. His voice was huskier and lower than usual making it sound like there was a hidden meaning to his words. You quickly dismissed it until you felt his lips press against your temporomandibular joint. “Wha-” you pulled back, wide-eyed, to see him smirking.

He had felt your uneasy heartbeat at that moment when his lips came into contact with your skin. There was so much he wanted to say and do but for now, that was enough to get him through whatever Jason had planned. “You owe me that,” he left not letting you protest further. If you had anything to say to him then you would have to wait for him to get back.

Frozen, you stood. The person walking away from you wasn’t your Dami it was Damian Wayne.

Steph and Alfred were long gone, putting away the intact cake knowing Jason will be back for his half for sure. The guys were all so excited, they didn’t see or hear you two. Only Bruce noticed but thought nothing of it already knowing it was you who Damian spoke about all those months ago.

+++

When Damian got back he found you waiting for him in his room. You had been pacing back and forth, arms crossed, waiting for him. Seeing you in your civilian clothes was a nice change from earlier. Now you both had no mask to hide under.

“Can you explain what I owe you exactly?” You were mad, there was no real reason for you to be so but it was the only way you could hide how flustered you were by the situation earlier. The last thing you wanted was to show weakness to Damian.

Damian easily read through your facade. His heart was racing knowing that the only way he could get through to you was to break you, to break through your false sense of seniority and make you say what you really felt. “I rejected Raven because I already have someone I love.”

Your arms fell down to your sides. This was exactly what you were afraid of. How could he so easily confess his feelings to you? He was never the type to show his emotions or speak his mind. “Damian you don’t love-” you were cut off by his lips.

Damian held either side of your face in his hands, holding you in place, not letting you pull away from the kiss. He couldn’t stand hearing you question his own emotions. He may not know much about emotions in general but he knew his own. Every time he saw you... this was all he wanted to do.

Your eyes closed involuntarily and before you knew it your lips were moving along with his. It felt right, the softness of your lips against his rougher ones. The longer you kissed the softer his lips became. No one had pulled away and you were becoming lightheaded. Your hands rested on his hips before wrapping themselves around his torso for support.

He slowly pulled away leaving you breathless. Training had come in handy, he was able to hold his breath for long periods of time thanks to all the underwater exercises. “Don’t tell me how I feel or I’ll have to show you.”

“Dami, I’m in my twenties-”

“As am I beloved,” he quickly responded having waited three years to call you that. He was no longer a teenager like you previously stated. “Your argument is no longer valid.”

Your heart skipped a beat as all the blood rushed to the apples of your cheeks. How could he be so sweet? The boy who once called you an old hag. (When he was twelve.)

He inched closer resting his forehead against yours. “If you want me to stop loving you-you'll have to say it.”

“Say what?”

“Say you don’t love me.” You bit your lip a tell-tale sign you were in conflict and a reminder to Damian of the day he stole a kiss from you. “You can’t, can you?”

You shook your head. “I love you Damian.”

“I know,” he smirked before kissing you again and solidifying the fact that you were now his and he was yours.

-end-

pic credit; to the owner/artist.

A/N: Hope you liked it ^^ let me know your thoughts. (Will look for mistakes later >.>)

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elementalwriter67 · 6 years ago

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The Void Chapter Nine

Pairing: (eventual) Jason Todd x Reader

Word count: 7709

Chapter One, Chapter Two, Chapter Three, Chapter Four, Chapter Five, Chapter Six, Chapter Seven, Chapter Eight

Summary: The Void is a hellish place filled with screams that echoed throughout the place at all the hours of the night, and where pain is a very close friend. You’ve spent your entire life in the Void, having been there since you were ten and you’ve just recently gotten a new cellmate… Who’s a little more hopeful than you are that either of you are going to make it out of this place alive. Though you have to admit that maybe his hope is rubbing off on you because you slowly find yourself hoping that the two of you do get out of here.

~Batcave Gotham City~

It had been a long two weeks for the entirety of the Bat Family. A long two weeks full of long days and even longer nights fueled by caffeine and desperation as night after night they returned to the cave either empty-handed or with stories that were told in a hushed and fearful tone, stories that held little information. Stories that had nothing to back them up except the city block long list of unsolved missing person cases. Missing person cases that they had all looked into they had checked every lead that they had found that the cops had and just when they thought that they were getting somewhere they ran head first into the brick wall they thought they had left behind. Each and every time no matter what they did they always ended up back at the wall, continuously beating their heads against the wall over and over again expecting different results. Which was why when Tim proclaimed that he had found something he was met with skeptical looks rather than excitement, still something was better than nothing.

“Alright, what ya got Timmy?” Dick asked his voice betraying just how tired he was. He stood up from the table and the files that he had been looking over in favor of walking over to Tim and leaning against the back of the chair looking up at the screen.

“Something good I’m hoping. A police report from the night that Jason went missing, along with security footage from the area that he was patrolling.” Tim answered as he clicked around on the screen pulling up the police report that he had mentioned.

“How do you know where Jason was patrolling that night?” Stephanie asked from where she was sitting on the railing that overlooked the training mats and the Batmobile.

“Roy told me where Jason was patrolling the night he went missing, figured I could find something and I think I finally did,” Tim explained as he scanned over the police report while simultaneously scrubbing through the security footage.

“What’s so important about the police report then?” Damian asked and Dick’s brow furrowed as his eyes scanned over the police report.

“The Scarecrow robbed a gas station on 17th street near crime alley,” Dick told them and everyone’s brows furrowed at that. It wasn’t the fact that Scarecrow robbed some place it was the fact that Scarecrow robbed a gas station that was confusing them.

“Are you sure that it was actually Scarecrow and not one of his men?” Barbara asked and both Dick and Tim nodded their heads.

“The cops asked the same thing and the store clerk was very adamant in that it was Scarecrow himself who robbed the store,” Tim stated turning around to face the others, forcing Dick to step back but he didn’t turn around to look at everyone still looking over the report and scanning the security footage that Tim had paused. The footage was twenty-four hours and looked like it was coming from an ATM camera that was across the street from the gas station that Scarecrow supposedly robbed.

“Alright, so Scarecrow robbed a gas station how is that important to Jason having gone missing?” Kate asked as she looked up from the missing person case that she was looking at and leaned back in the chair.

“Because it happened on the night Jason went missing and look who turned up to answer the silent alarm,” Tim said as he spun back around in his chair and fast forwarded the security footage before letting it play out and enlarging the screen. Everybody watched as Scarecrow busted into the shop without any weapons but that didn’t stop the clerk from very clearly freaking out for several seconds as Scarecrow terrorized him before handing over the money. Tim paused the video seconds after Jason landed right in front of the camera blocking Scarecrow’s escape path.

“Jason answered the call meaning that Scarecrow was the last one to see him that night,” Tim stated turning back around to face them and there was a moment of silence as they all came to the same conclusion knowing/victorious smiles spreading across their faces each in turn.

“Do we know where Scarecrow is now?” Stephanie asked jumping out of her seat. Everyone suddenly looked a lot more awake than they had a couple of minutes ago, this new information sparking little fires of hope inside all of them as they crowded around the computer as Tim spun around to face the computer again.

“Yes, we do. Southside of Gotham in the warehouse district, abandoned warehouse that used to be an ACE plant.” Tim stated pulling up the location on a map of Gotham. Excitement passed through everyone like a wave as they all looked to Dick and Kate since they were the oldest right now it was up to them to make the decision on what to do. Bruce and Alfred otherwise being preoccupied with a charity gala for one of the Martha Foundations.

“Tim, Damian, Steph, Cass, suit up we’re going to go ask Scarecrow some questions. Kate, Babs, Duke, see if you can find anything else in the security footage, and one of you tell Bruce where we’re going we’ll be back.” Dick said and there was surprisingly no argument as everyone sprang into action eager to chase a new lead even if it leads back to the same wall as before.

~Warehouse District Gotham City~

The door to Scarecrow’s office was viciously thrown open by one of his men being thrown through the door and landing heavily on the floor in front of Scarecrow’s desk. Closing his eyes Scarecrow sighed heavily reaching up and pinching his nose through the mask, he had several dangerous and highly explosive chemicals, if mixed together, sitting in front of him on his desk he did not have time to deal with the bat clan breaking into his warehouse. Looking up and dropping his hand he glared at Nightwing and the others as they all filed into the room blocking any hope at exiting through the windows or door.

“I don’t suppose you’ll be fixing that door before you leave?” Scarecrow asked as he glared at each one of them in turn, a glare that they all returned.

“Depends on if you answer our questions,” Nightwing responded crossing his arms over his chest as he came to stand in front of Scarecrow’s desk. At that Scarecrow’s eyes widened slightly in mock surprise as he sat back in his chair his elbows resting on the arms of the chair and his hands spread in a wide welcoming gesture.

“What questions could those be? I haven’t done anything that would warrant such violent questioning so pray tell what have I done to anger you five little Batlings?” Scarecrow asked all the confidence in the world that he truly hadn’t done anything wrong.

“June 5th what were you doing robbing that Gas Station?” Nightwing asked, choosing to ignore the cockiness in Scarecrow’s tone as Damian slammed the office door closed. Scarecrow jumped slightly at the sound glaring at the kid.

“Answer him,” Robin growled and Scarecrow chuckled.

“Cute you actually think you’re scary.” Scarecrow didn’t jump when Robin suddenly lunged at lunged at him but was caught by Cass and Steph who were easily blocking his path. “What gas station?” Scarecrow asked as he looked away from the struggling Robin and at Nightwing again who still stood with his arms crossed over his chest.

“Don’t play dumb with us Scarecrow we know you were robbing that gas station on 17th street we’ve got you on the ATM security camera.” Red Robin said holding up a little video player showing Scarecrow entering the gas station and the clerk handing over the money before he stopped it and shoved it back in his utility belt. Scarecrow was silent for a moment staring at where the video player had been before looking up to meet Red Robin in the eyes, making his eyes seem as cold as he possibly could before looking back at Nightwing.

“Alright so I robbed a little gas station a handful of weeks ago all these theatrics can’t possibly be because of that silly little thing, can it? Because if that is the case then I kindly ask you to either arrest me or get the hell out of my building.” Scarecrow growled as his glare hardened but none of them looked at all concerned about the look he was giving them.

“Why did you rob the gas station? It’s a little beneath you isn’t it?” Spoiler asked moving to stand up beside Red Robin and Nightwing.

“Felt like it,” Scarecrow stated, his word rushed a little, as he sat back in his chair with a shrug of his shoulders. One of his hands slipping into the pocket of his lab coat, if they kept prying like this he was going to have to get rid of them forcibly something he was hoping to avoid. A hand wrapped around his forearm and he looked up to see Orphan standing there her hand gripping tight on his forearm and a stern look that showed surprisingly well despite the fact that she was wearing a mask.

“Don’t.” Was the only thing she said and Scarecrow stared her down expecting her to back down but she kept her gaze walked with him. Her grip on his arm tightening as her hand moved to a Batarang, snarling under his own mask Scarecrow let go of the canister and Orphan, in turn, let go of his forearm allowing him to pull it out.

“So you’re telling me that a big-time villain such as yourself, someone as powerful as you, as terrifying to the general public like you, someone with enough chemicals that he could knock out the entirety of Gotham robbed a convenience store because you felt like it?” Dick asked, taking a couple of steps so that he was standing directly in front of the desk.

“You flatter me Nightwing but as hard as this might be to believe I did, in fact, do that because I felt like it,” Scarecrow stated never letting his facade drop even when Nightwing leaned forward his hands slamming down on the desk as he got in Scarecrow’s face.

“Bullshit.” Nightwing hissed and Scarecrow growled rising out of his chair as he glared at Nightwing who stood up straight glaring right back at him.

“Enough with this bad cop routine Nightwing. Like you said I’m a big-time villain meaning I’m a very busy man so if you don’t get on with whatever the fuck your on or else you can leave.” Scarecrow growled. Nightwing easily stood his ground, pulling his shoulders back and glaring at him.

“What did you do to Red Hood? We know that he ran into you after your little escapade and we haven’t seen him since so what did you do to him?” Dick asked him and at that Scarecrow paused. He was very silent as he stared at Nightwing, he had been afraid that’s what they had been here for, he knew it was only a matter of time before they figured it all out. He knew he shouldn’t have trusted the Void, for as cocky as they were, they never would have been able to fool Batman and the others it wasn’t possible, many had tried and many had failed.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Scarecrow stated. Just because he knew he shouldn’t have trusted them doesn’t mean he wasn’t going to try to lie and say he had anything to do with it.

“We know that he was taken by some people called the Void and we’re willing to bet money that you had something to do with it so spill it Crane what do you know.” Red Robin stated moving to stand beside Nightwing the two of them staring him down.

“Or do we need to release Robin on you?” Spoiler asked stepping away from Robin who grabbed his sword and walked up to Scarecrow an evil smirk on his face that Scarecrow would be lying if he said it didn’t unnerve him. Scarecrow looked between Nightwing and Robin they had effectively backed him into a corner. He didn’t need to ask them how they knew Red Hood had been the one to try and stop him, now what he needed to know was which was worse. Facing the kid or facing an organization that scares him more than he would like to admit… but then again the idea of taking down Void, of no longer having them being a player in the underworld of Gotham would be nice. It would certainly leave him with more test subjects.

“What do you want to know?” Scarecrow asked as he sat back down in his chair leaning back. For a couple of seconds, they stood there staring at him like he’d just said he could shit gold and he chuckled at their expressions.

“What exactly is the Void?” Nightwing asked quickly schooling his expression back into one of seriousness as he crossed his arms over his chest.

“No idea,” Scarecrow answered and it wasn’t a total lie, he wasn’t entirely what the Void was or who they were, just what it was that they did.

“What do you mean you don’t know? You just asked us what we wanted to know!” Red Robin shouted and Scarecrow scowled at him annoyed with his sudden outburst.

“I mean I don’t know what exactly the Void is, the best I can do is tell you that it used to be some government run organization and they’re running experiments on the people that they capture. What experiments I don’t know, I try to stay out of their way, most of us villains do it’s easier that way.” Scarecrow explained and they nodded as Red Robin typed something up on his phone.

“Government-run organization? Do you know what their title was back when they were run by the government?” Tim asked looking up at Scarecrow who was silent for a moment.

“I believe it was called the Tabun Project I believe that’s what it was called if you want any more information you’re going to want to look them up. Now leave my office.” Scarecrow demanded and Red Robin opened his mouth to say something else but Nightwing placed a hand on his shoulder.

“Thank you for the information. For your sake, I would hope that Red Hood is ok.” Nightwing stated and made a gesture with his hand. The others piled out of the room while Nightwing stood there and stared him in the eye until they were all gone and he didn’t say anything as he turned and left leaving Scarecrow feeling rather uneasy.

~Outside~

“Did you get all that Babs?” Dick asked as soon as they got outside and were a few streets away.

“Looking it up as we speak,” Barbara responded and Dick nodded as he paced the rooftop all nerves and anxious energy. Not that any of the others were any better, well maybe except Damian and Cass who was oddly calm but besides that, no one else was able to stand still. Tim was on his phone doing his own research, Steph was pacing with Dick but also scanning the surrounding area which each turn. Though not a single one of them made a move to go back to the cave all of them too hopped up on nerves and desperation to go back when they felt like they were getting close. This was the first solid lead they had since all the missing person cases, the first lead that didn’t involve them staring at screens or pieces of paper for hours on end. They were starting to get close and they could all feel it, the excitement and accomplishment flowing through them all.

“So what did you guys find?” Kate asked taking over the com system while Babs worked, not wanting to leave to the deafening silence.

“Crane said that the Void used to be a government run organization that went by the name Tabun Project, have you heard about it?” Dick asked pausing for just a moment at the edge of the roof before going back to pacing.

“Tabun Project, Tabun Project, Tabun Project,” Kate muttered to herself as she thought, wracking her brain trying to figure out why that sounded so familiar.

“Sounds familiar but no I’ve got nothing,” Kate answered honestly and Dick sighed running his fingers through his hair glancing at the others who wore the same deflated look like him.

“I on the other hand do.” Barbara butted in taking the coms back and a large smile spread across Dick’s face.

“Barbara, you beautiful woman, please tell me you have more than a sentence of information on this place and please tell me it’s official.” Dick’s tone was only slightly pleading and if you would ask him later he would deny that it was ever there.

“Yes, I have a total of two lines and official government documents.” Barbara joked and when she was met with dead silence on both ends she quickly continued on.

“Alright, so it looks like the void was originally called the Tabun Project like Crane said. The project was started shortly after the United States joined World War two in 1941 to test varies chemical weapons and find a way to make their soldiers immune to the chemicals. The project went on for a couple of years before finally losing funding in 1946 when the country turned its focus on the Manhattan Project.” Barbara summarized as her eyes skimmed over the file she had on the screen and Dick nodded along.

“What happened after they lost funding?” Tim asked not looking up from whatever he was doing on his phone.

“The usual, the guy running the place was called Doctor Roberts and to say he was a little pissed after losing funding would be an understatement. The guy sent numerous request and threats to the government claiming they had to let him continue his research. They kept shutting it down because they found out that he was testing on humans. Oh, gods, there are videos.” Barbara muttered as distantly they could hear some sort of video playing in the background. Dick gulped silently as he glanced around at the others who had stopped whatever they had been doing.

“I’m sending the video to you, you have to see this,” Barbara stated and seconds later Dick’s phone went off. Pulling it out he motioned to the others who gathered around him, opening the video Barabara sent him he handed the phone to Damian so they could all watch.

“And how is our dear little test subject doing?” A male voice asked as soon as the video started playing. The video was grainy and very clearly old but it was clear that what they were currently looking at was the inside of a room that was lined with vents and where a single solitary person sat curled up in the corner. They were hugging their knees together and they were very clearly shaking whether it was from fear or something else none of them could tell.

“Vital signs are stable, brain activity is normal, they’re ready for the serum doctor.” Came a much younger sounding female voice.

“Perfect. Inject the patient with the serum then.” The doctor stated and then there was the sound of a door opening before a guard walked into frame. They couldn’t hear what was going on inside the room but they could very clearly see the person freaking out and trying to get away from the guard who put the person's resistance to an end with an ease that you only get after years of repeatedly doing something. It wasn’t until the guard had left that there was sound again.

“Excellent, how long again until the serum takes effect?” The doctor asked.

“Five minutes sir, it’ll need to travel through their bloodstream and settle so that way we can test its efficiency.” The woman told him and he sighed.

“Very well then.” He said and then there was a crackling sound and a couple of seconds of silence before there was the sound of someone sobbing.

“Patient 645 how are you feeling?” The doctor asked his voice devoid of any real concern or sympathy for what he was about to do. Patient 645 looked up from their knees their body shaking with the force of their sob’s as tears and snot mixed and ran down their face.

“Please. Please. Please, just let me go. I promise I won’t tell anyone what you’re doing here, please just let me go. I just want to go home. Please, I just want to go home, I just want to go home, I just want to go home.” Patient 645 muttered over and over again their voice shaking and hoarse as they sat there sobbing and attempting to rock back and forth between the shaking. The doctor sighed in what could only be described as annoyance.

“Patient 645 I assure you that you will be able to head home shortly but until then you should be glad. You’re serving your country right now, you’re helping your country defeat those wretched Nazis with this work, you’re saving hundreds of soldiers lives with this research. Now is not a time for that pathetic crying and fear, now is the time for celebration. We’re on the verge of a scientific breakthrough! We’re on the verge of saving thousands of lives! You should not be crying! You should be celebrating the fact that you were able to help us discover all of this!” The doctor exclaimed but patient 645 just sobbed harder, shaking their head as they continued to rock back and forth.

“No, please, I just want to go home. I just want to go back to my family, please let me go! Please! Let me go! I just want to return to my family! Please! Please! I don’t want to die! I don’t want to die!” Patient 645 screamed, their voice hoarse and cracking. The doctor growled in frustration, clearly not understanding how this person didn’t see how close they were to solve this, to create a serum that would protect everyone from the toxic clouds people were so fond of fighting with. Didn’t see how close they were to create a serum that would save thousands of lives and not just the lives of soldiers overseas but of lives everywhere. Didn’t see how this serum had the potential to make everyone immortal instead they were just being a selfish little baby who had no idea the good that they were doing. Who only cared about themselves.

“Release the gas.” The doctor growled and the sobbing and pleading only grew louder from inside the room. With another annoyed growl, the sound was shut off and they could no longer hear the patients pleas.

“But sir, it’s too early, the serum still needs another minute before it will be fully effective you can’t possibly-” “Release the gas.” The doctor ordered cutting the woman off before she could say anything else.

“Now!” The doctor shouted slamming his hand down on the table rattling the camera in the process and causing the woman to squeak in surprise.

“Yes, sir.” She rushed out and then there was silence. They couldn’t see the gas that was being released into the room but they could tell that it was there by the fact that what had been fearful rocking back and forth had now turned into a frantic, panicked, movement of limbs. Patient 645 jumped up from where they were sitting their eyes wide in terror as they sprinted at the glass throwing themselves against it and causing the glass to shutter but not crack. They beat their fists against the glass their mouth moving in a silent plea, begging to have the gas shut off, asking what was going on, why this was happening and so on.

They threw themselves at the window when they didn’t get the response, and they did it again a couple more times. When that didn’t work their eyes widened and filled with a manic sort of panic as their shoulders shook and they reached up to grab at their neck frantically looking for a way out of the gas-filled room. They ran at the wall throwing themselves at it and beating their fists against it like they had the window, only when beating the wall didn’t work they began to scratch at it their shoulders shaking as with every movement it became harder to breathe. Each movement became more and more sluggish as they clawed at the wall desperate to get out. Eventually, they realized that wasn’t going to work so they turned around to face the window. There was an audible gasp from the woman at the sight of patient 645.

The skin on their face was bubbling like it was being boiled off the side of their face matching the rest of their body. Their hands were a mangled mess of blood and broken bone from where they had tried punching the wall, and their chest was rising and falling rapidly like they couldn’t catch their breath. They took one shaky step forward and that was all they could do before they fell to the ground their eyes rolling into the back of their head. For several long seconds, no one said anything, no one did anything, they just watched the person in the room waiting for them to do something. When they didn’t it was clear that they were dead and the doctor sighed.

“Stop the gas and expel it and make sure that once it’s gone you bring them down to the lab I want to see what exactly happened to them.” The doctor ordered and that was where the video stopped.

“Jesus Christ.” Dick breathed out staring at the paused video on his phone. His hand shook from both anger and fear as he took the phone back from Damian and shoved it back into his utility belt, those people had been monsters in the worst way possible and they were also the people who have Jason. They have Jason and they do shit like that, there was no telling what they were doing to Jason, there was no telling if Jason was even alive not after watching that video and seeing just what they were capable of. If that was what they were doing back in the day then there was no telling what they were doing now.

“Yeah I know, it’s bad, there are more videos like that. Pictures too, I’ll give you the courtesy of not having to see them.” Barbara said with obvious disgust in her voice as she quickly scrolled through the file that she had found on the place.

“Barbara please tell me that you have a location for this place, because if these people really do have Jason then-” “Then there’s no telling what they’re doing to him or if he’s even alive, I know.” Barbara cut him off and a weak smile tugged at the corners of his lips at that.

“Shit.” Barbara cursed and that weak smile died where it was at that.

“What? What’s wrong?” Dick asked not liking the sound of that shit.

“The building that the Tabun Project was in was demolished shortly after the project was shut down, the government didn’t want anyone getting a hand on these chemicals so they had it destroyed.” She explained and Dick sighed heavily running his fingers through his hair as he commenced his pacing.

“Alright look just send us the address now and we’ll go check it out anyways see if we can find any clues as to where exactly the Void could be hiding.” He stated stopping at the edge of the roof, already pulling his phone out.

“Already sent it, are you guys going to need any help looking?” She asked and he shook his head as he scanned the address it was all the way on the other side of Gotham.

“No we’ve got it, just make sure that you keep Bruce informed on what’s going on.” He told her as he put his phone back.

“Will do, good luck out there guys,” Barbara stated before the line went dead.

~The Void~

“So, how are you feeling?” Jason asked from where he was laying on the floor spread eagle with his shirt off. A position that he’d decided to take after several minutes of sitting on his bed trying to get comfortable before he’d finally decided to lay down on the floor without a shirt hoping that the cold concrete would help sooth the pain he was probably feeling. You were sitting up on your bed with your back against the wall, your fingers lightly skimming over the bandages wrapped around your wrists almost absentmindedly.

“Better. How are you feeling?” You asked him looking down at him as he shifted so that he could see you better.

“Sore, stiff, like I just got cut open which I did.” He grumbled and a bittersweet smile spread across your face as you nodded your head. Your vision swimming a little at the motion which you quickly stopped before you felt like throwing up. Today had been the day that the guards had finally come and taken Jason back to the basement for more testing and well to say that it went well would be a bit of an understatement, his entire torso up to just below his chest was wrapped in heavy bandages. Meaning that the doctors probably cut open his stomach and taken tissue samples of his organs and muscles, at least that’s what you thought that they had done it’s typically what they do on a person’s second to third trip to the basement. He’d come back to the room limping and grimacing with each step so you were sure that they had probably taken more than was necessary and him open wider than they needed too.

“Yeah, that’ll last for a couple of weeks. Eventually, it’ll stop hurting, you’ll either get used to it or you’ll learn to ignore the pain.” You told him and he groaned loudly and over dramatically as he rolled his head away from you. The ghost of a smile made your lips twitch but it never fully formed as you looked away from him and back at your wrists, your fingers moving to rub against the bandages again.

“So excited for that to happen,” Jason muttered and your lips twitched again but you didn’t say anything as you sat there rubbing the bandages. Neither of you said anything after that, a heavy silence falling over the two of you as you both sat/laid there. You rubbing at the bandages memories of what happened in the basement coming in horrifying flashes that caused goosebumps to race across your skin with each flash. Jason laying on the floor watching you a concerned look on his face. You’d been like this ever since you’d woken up there but not there at the same time, you would talk to him and respond to him but that was it you would never react emotionally. You would just say what you had to say and then look back down at your lap and continue to touch your wrists with this look on your face that just screamed you weren’t actually in the room.

“I know you probably don’t want to talk about it but and I’m not asking you to, not really anyways, but I have to know…” Jason started, trailing off slightly as he broke the silence that had fallen over the two of you. Pushing himself up into a sitting position to look at you better.

“Where is this going, Jason?” You asked him a heavy ball of dread forming in the pit of your stomach as you looked at him. You could already guess where this was going, what he was going to ask and while you weren’t looking forward to it you knew that it would have eventually come up. You had just been hoping that it would take longer than a handful of days after you’d woken up. Jason sighed reaching up and running his fingers through his hair as he shifted around so that he was sitting a little closer to you.

“Why was your punishment so much worse than mine? Mine was a slap on the wrist compared to yours, all I came away with from my punishment was a couple of broken ribs and a fuck ton of bruises. You, on the other hand, look like you went through a meat grinder, you were asleep for two weeks, you couldn’t even sit up on your own for four days, hell you can’t even walk on your own. So why, why was your punishment so much worse?” He sounded upset and angry and confused but not at you, at least you were pretty sure it wasn’t directed at you.

You looked back down at your lap, at the bandages coiling their way around your feet, your legs, your wrists, and your arms like a snake playing with its food tight enough to squeeze but not enough to cut off circulation. You’d been right about the question but now that it was out you wanted nothing more than for him to take it back, for you to have been wrong, for him to have asked a different question. You couldn’t tell him the truth at least not all of it anyways, he already blamed himself for what happened to you and you would be lying if you said that a small part of you didn’t agree with him. That this was all his fault. His fault that you had been punished in the first place, but you knew better than to listen to that part of you. Knew that it was as much your fault as it was his, you’d made your choices and now you had to live with them beside you couldn’t really judge him you had used people before too. You had used them to help you escape, people you knew wouldn’t make it past a week if they stayed here, people you knew wouldn’t make it when you tried to escape. At the time you had convinced yourself that it was the right thing to do, that you were giving them mercy in a place without any, that, of course, didn’t mean that what you had done was right so you couldn’t judge him not completely. Because at least he had had the decency to try and protect you to the end.

“I’m sorry I-” “My punishment was so much worse because it wasn’t my first time trying to escape. The first punishment is never as bad as ones that come after the first one.” You stated your voice devoid of any real emotion as you cut him off. For a handful of seconds, he just sat there silent and staring at you before a confused look crossed his face.

“What do you mean? What do you mean that the first punishment is never as bad as the ones that come after it, don’t they want to discourage people from escaping why would they make the first one less painful?” Jason asked and you leaned back against the wall sighing heavily as you closed your eyes clenching your hands as you did. You took a deep breath as you opened your eyes so that you were staring up at the ceiling.

“Yes and no. They don’t want you to escape that’s true but they want you to think that it’s possible to escape that if that is what the punishment is going to be like then you think that you can suffer through it again so why not try to escape again. Why not try and get out again if the punishment is just going to be a simple beating? So you do it. You try to escape again and they let you get a little farther than last time so that you think you’re actually doing it, that you’re actually escaping. Only then you get caught again and you’re left wondering why and how you got caught when you were so close. Then there’s the punishment and it’s like last time only this time the guards hit you a little harder than they did last time but it doesn’t stop you from trying to escape a third time and then again and again and again. And each time the punishment gets harsher and harsher but you keep doing it because you got a little farther than you did last time. It’s this sick sort of game that they play with us when they get bored or testing us, they were never going to kill us when we tried to escape for whatever reason they like us, want to keep us around. They only kill the people who they don’t need anymore but they want to make a spectacle out of their deaths so they let them attempt to escape before they kill them in the hallways where everyone can watch.” You told him careful to let yourself ramble on, to give away anything about you as you continued to stare at the ceiling refusing to look at him.

“Are you serious?” His voice was full of disbelief as he stared at you with his eyes wide in disbelief. Your hands were shaking in your lap and you clenched your hands trying desperately to stop them from shaking as you stared at the ceiling blinking rapidly.

“Yes.” Your voice was hoarse and you mentally cursed yourself for letting yourself show emotion, and you forced yourself to stop, to put it all back in the hole that it was now trying to climb out of.

“What?! Why?! Who gave them the right to play that sick sort of game with these people?! Why would they do that?!” He shouted and suddenly he was on his feet the movement fast enough that you flinched slightly, that Jason noticed and he slowed his movements down careful not to do anything to make you flinch again.

“Because they can Jason because they want to because they like to. They like punishing people, they like making us think that we can escape, give us hope only to crush it, they like the screaming.” Your voice was barely above a whisper as you spoke as you dropped your gaze so that you were looking in your lap.

“What?” Jason asked as he stopped his pacing and was standing right in front of you. You bit your bottom lip as you shook your head, you wanted to take it all back as soon as you had said it and fix the rapidly spreading crack in your emotional damn.

“(Y/N) what did you just say?” He asked and when you didn’t answer he got down on his knees in front of you carefully placing his hands on your knees as he looked up at you. Your hands were still shaking and you clenched them harder, fisting them in your pant legs as you shook your head again.

“(Y/N) please, talk to me, tell me what you just said, please.” He pleaded as he looked up at you waiting for a response and you squeezed your eyes shut.

“They like making people scream, they like knowing that you’re in pain, that you’re helpless to stop them, to protect yourself, they get their rocks off to it or something. It’s why you’re not supposed to scream because then they’ll just make it worse.” You told him, squeezing your eyes closed more as years worth of pain and screaming flashed by in your mind.

“That’s why you keep telling me not to scream whenever they come to take me away because you knew what they would do if you did.” He said and you nodded your eyes burning as your shaking got worse and you shoved them further into your lap.

“Yes. Sure it hurts, it always does. But the more you scream, the more blood they take, the more cuts they make, the more they take and take and take until it feels like they can’t take anymore but they do and then they don’t stop they never stop. So the louder you scream, the more you scream, the more pain they cause you and you try to fight against it, oh god do you try to fight against. You try to fight against the pain and the building scream but you can’t you just can’t. So you scream because it’s the only thing that you can do because you’re strapped to that table or that chair and you can’t get away so screaming is the only thing that you can do. And the whole time the doctor is standing there laughing, smiling, cutting, carving, and taking from you as you lay there strapped to the table withering in pain, straining against the restraints desperate to break them, desperate to get away from the pain, from the doctor but you can’t because. So you keep screaming because it’s the only thing you can do but then it’s like a dam has burst inside of you and suddenly you can’t stop screaming so you scream and you scream and you scream. Until your throat is raw and you’re exhausted and you feel like you can’t possibly scream anymore but you do. Oh god do you scream, but this time it’s not just a scream it’s a plea, it’s a prayer, it’s you begging for someone, anyone, to just end it all. To kill you, to make the pain stop, to make everything go away, to make everything stop, and then. Only then. Does the doctor stop cutting into you, stop taking from you. But the pain doesn’t stop, the pain never stops and the screaming never stops and nothing ever fucking stops!” You shouted.

You were shaking and your eyes were burning as you stared down at your lap every last memory you had of this place, every second of every day, month, and year was currently flashing through your head. Every cut of a scalpel, every pinprick of a needle, every snap of a bone, every hit, every cut, all of it was playing out before you in sharp and terrifyingly clear detail like you were back in those moments again. A single tear slipped down your cheek followed closely by another and then another and another until they were all but cascading down your face and you were hugging yourself as you rocked back and forth. Years worth of pent-up emotions breaking free in one giant tidal wave that made you feel like you were drowning in all the emotions that you’d been trying desperately to ignore for years. It wasn’t until the first sob escaped you and made your already trembling body tremble more that Jason finally moved from where he had been rooted to the spot.

“Hey, hey, it’s alright (Y/N), I’m sorry, I’m sorry, you don’t have to talk about it anymore I’m sorry I brought it up. Everything’s going to be fine, everything’s going to be alright.” Jason stated his voice soft and soothing as he sat down beside you and wrapped his arms around you. You shook your head as your arms tightened around yourself.

“No! Don’t you get it! Nothing is going to be alright! Nothing is going to be fine! We’re all going to die in this fucking hellhole and we all just need to accept that! There is no fine! There is no alright! There is only pain and suffering and death! So you need to stop holding on to that stupid! False hope! That we’re going to get out of here! That everything is going to be fine because it’s not! It’s not going to be fine! It’s not! It’s not, it’s not, it’s not, it’s not…” You trailed off as more sobs forced their way up and out of your body and as you shook harder. Jason held you shushing you softly as he carefully rocked you two back and forth doing his best to calm you down and himself. Watching you break down and knowing that he was surrounded by the people who had broken you like this had caused a fresh wave of anger to wash over him. The two of you sat like that for a couple of hours you sobbing into Jason’s chest as he held you, gently rubbing your back as he continued to rock the two of you back and forth until you had eventually cried yourself to sleep. For a while Jason just sat there with you, his arms wrapped securely around you as he listened to the steady fall and rise of your breathing and to the guards marching past outside and to the distant screams. Eventually, when his legs started going numb, he moved to lay you down on your bed but you made a noise of protest your arms shooting out to wrap around his waist and he tried to gently pry your arms off of him but you whined loudly.

“Stay. Please.” You whined half asleep and completely exhausted. Jason looked down at you attached to his side and sighed as he gently pried your arms off of him and laid you down, you whined and he chuckled softly before laying down next to you.

“Don’t worry (Y/N) I’m not going anywhere.” Jason murmured as he laid down and you immediately curled into his chest your arms wrapping around him. Hesitantly Jason wrapped an arm around your waist, careful of where your bandages were and you murmured something as you burrowed deeper into his chest releasing a deep sigh of relief. A smile tugged at the corners of Jason’s lips as his arm tightened slightly around you and he pulled you closer.

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