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cjsinkythoughts · 4 years ago

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In Need of a Breath

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Avenger!Reader

Word Count: 4007

Warnings: !FATWS SPOILERS!, Cursing, Zemo, Feelings, Another PTSD Flashback

A/N: So…Part 4 is going to have a couple parts to it. Maybe even three. I didn’t even make it half way through the episode on this one, mainly because I really wanted to fit in the Reader’s backstory and I wanted her and Sam to have a heart-to-heart again. I’m suuuuper tired, so I probably won’t be posting the next part for another few hours (it’s 5 am right now and I haven’t slept), BUT it’s my day off work and I won’t be doing anything I planned because my grandmother had a stroke a couple days ago so plans have changed and I’m staying in to help her, meaning I’ll mostly be writing all day.

This Part is kind of a mix between off-screen and shot-by-shots, but it’s mostly off screen/what’s going on inside Reader’s head.

I’m really excited about future parts and the characters that are being introduced! I will say that after these parts, I will be doing one shots of previous MCU movies with the Reader, due to the information that is being given about the Reader now. You kind of see more of how she was affected/how she affected the previous MCU movies and what she was doing during that time.

Like always, this hasn’t been beta’d, again it’s SUPER early in the morning, and I’m really tired, so please excuse any mistakes! I hope you guys enjoy this part! Stay tuned for more to come later today!

FATWS MASTERLIST

cjsinkythoughts MASTERLIST

!SPOILERS UNDER CUT!

“You know…I’m really starting to regret saying yes to this.” You huffed out, craning your neck and squinting your eyes against the sun as you stare at the facility in front of you, hating the skin-crawling feeling of being back.

“Would you relax? Whenever you’re nervous, I get nervous, and I don’t wanna be nervous about this.” Sam shifted his weight from one foot to the other.

“Do either of you have a better plan?” Bucky grumbled, crossing his arms.

Gnawing on your lips, you finally take the lead and breathe out, “alright. Let’s go then.” You could feel the hesitance from your - what were they? Partners? Coworkers? Teammates? - the fellas before they started after you.

There was a sick twist in your gut as you entered the building, going through the lobby and security.

You had been there.

You had been there when Zemo impersonated Bucky. You had been there when Zemo unleashed the Winter Soldier at the Joint Counter Terrorist Centre Building in Berlin. You had been there during the battle at the airport. You had been there when Zemo turned Tony and Steve against each other in Siberia. You had been there when Zemo tore the Avengers from the inside out. Your family. The only family you’d ever known.

But you’d always been good about pushing your personal feelings aside for the sake of the mission. It’s what you’d been born to do. All you ever knew.

“Hey. Doll. You hear me?”

“Hmm. What?” You looked up from the ground to look into those enchanting blue oceans Bucky had for eyes, staring worriedly down at you, eyebrows pinched and forehead creased.

“I’m going in alone.” You frowned, opening your mouth to argue, but he shook his head. “Sam already agreed-”

“I didn’t necessarily agree-”

“You’re an Avenger, sweetheart.” Bucky tilted his head, speaking softly, those eyes of his worried. Worried for you. It made your stomach flip. “And you were there in Siberia, and that almost makes it worse. Especially considering you went after him. Just…just let me do this, okay?”

You cracked your knuckles nervously as you thought. It was a terrible idea. But it was an idea. And it was all they had. “Okay.” You finally relented, shrugging as your hands hit your thighs and slid up to your hips. “But don’t do anything stupid.”

“Steve took all that with him.”

Knowing about their little inside joke, you scoffed. “Sure he did. Go before I change my mind.”

You watched him walk down the hallway, hands fidgeting with excess nerves. “I think you’re the only one he actually seeks approval from.”

“Good thing I’m so lenient then, huh?” You joked, turning to Sam with a strained smile. Your smile slipped at the curious expression on Sam’s face, his eyes darting to each of your features. “What?”

“Are you doing okay?”

You groaned, throwing your head back. You thought you got out of talking about your feelings back in Baltimore. “Oh my God, Sam-”

“I’m serious. You…you just don’t seem like yourself.”

You shook your head, looking down the hall to where Bucky disappeared before turning back to him. It was weird to have a self that people recognized. Your whole life you’d been searching for it and when you finally found it…everything went to shit. “Honestly, Sammy, the only time I’ve ever felt like myself was with the team. Zemo took that away from me and now we’re here, practically begging him for help.”

Sam hummed, leaning against the wall. “Have you thought of taking a break?”

“What?”

“A break.” At your bewildered look, he rolled his eyes. “Cher, this time last year most of us were dead. This time a few months ago you found out about Wanda. This time last week you were out looking for her. Maybe you should just stop and take a breather.”

Shoving your hands in your pocket and looking at the floor, you couldn’t help but snort at his advice. “I haven’t taken a breather since I was eighteen.”

He clicked his tongue. “That’s my point. FBI academy as soon as you graduated. SHIELD recruit by 21, undercover operations leader by 24? Slow down. You’re in your thirties. Next thing you know, you’re gonna be ninety something, lying on your deathbed, wishing you had stopped to smell the roses.”

“If I live to be ninety, shoot me.” He chuckled in amusement. “I’m so fucking serious, Sam. I will not be put in an old folks home to play Bingo and be pushed around in a wheelchair. It ain’t happening.”

“I’ll see what I can do.” There was that infectious smile, which you unconsciously grinned back at. “Y/N…I’m serious. You’ve been in and out of missions since you were a teenager. What’s the shortest undercover operation you’ve done?”

“I dunno.”

He gave you an unimpressed look. “Yeah you do.”

Licking your lips, you turned away and shrugged. “A couple months. Seven weeks and three days, to be precise. September to October in 2012.”

“And the longest?”

“August 2007 to May 2009. Twenty one months.”

Letting out a puff of air through his nose, Sam pushed himself off the wall and caught your chin between his fingers to make you look at him. “That’s nearly two years under cover. And I’m sure you went right back under after-”

“I was sitting at a desk for four months doing paperwork on it.” You defended yourself.

He shook his head, brows knitting together, lips drawn down. “You say that as if four months is enough time.”

“It doesn’t matter anymore, Sammy. I’m out. I’ve been out since Ultron and Sokovia. I haven’t been under in almost a decade-”

“A decade half the world was dead for half of-”

“I wasn’t!”

“I never said you were.” Sam sighed, closing his eyes for a moment. You were always amazed at his ability to keep his emotions in check. To stay cool under pressure. Sometimes you forgot how experienced he was with dealing with other people’s trauma. It was no wonder why Steve thought he’d be good for Bucky. “Listen. All I’m saying is once this is done…don’t go diving back into searching for Wanda. Don’t go running to the kid every time he calls - and I know you’ve been doing that-”

“It’s just been homework and stuff-”

“Y/N.” You stopped, biting your lip at the stern look he gave you. “Go home. Order take out. Binge watch TV. Go for a jog through the park. Actually meet your neighbors. Go grocery shopping. Just…live. If only for a couple weeks. Don’t worry about anyone else. Don’t pick up the phone, don’t drop everything because someone needs you. You need you.”

“I-I…” You shook your head, looking at him, sincerely apologetic. “I can’t. I wish I could. But I can’t. I’ve never had one normal day in my life. I’ve never had someone to care for, never had someone to care for me. I can’t let people I’ve come to…I can’t let them think I don’t care. I don’t even know where I’d go.”

“Whaddya mean?”

You winced, not thrilled for his reaction to your next statement. “I, uh, I sold my apartment in D.C.”

He gaped at you in complete disbelief. “You got it in December!”

“I know, I know. I liked it. I really did, but…I dunno. Nomadic life has always suited me better. It’s what I grew up with.”

He took a breath, making you cringe again. You don’t think you’ve ever legitimately gotten on his nerves like this before. “Have you ever thought that, instead of going with the flow and jumping place to place, putting down roots might actually help?” He cut you off before you could say anything, holding up a finger to stop you from talking. “I can’t imagine going from foster home to foster home like you did. I can’t imagine not having a home for as long as you can remember. Louisiana’s my home. Always has, always will be. But I understand your life has been anything but stable. And maybe, just maybe, that’s why you need some stability.”

You clenched your jaw, crossing your arms. “The Avengers were my stability. Steve was my stability.”

“Because you loved him.”

“I’m not doing this with you again.” You turned to walk down to the lobby to wait for Bucky there, but Sam caught your arm.

“You were in love with him! It’s okay! You two were super close! No one would blame you! Why won’t you just admit it? I’m trying to understand! Why won’t you-”

You tugged your arm away, finally snapping at him. “Because he could never be mine, Wilson! Is that what you wanna hear?!” Sam took a step back at your exclamation. You closed your eyes, swallowing the lump in your throat and pushing down the tears. “He could preach all he wanted about moving forwards, Sammy, but we all knew he was stuck in the past. He visited the museum every Thursday because her interview showed in his exhibit on Thursdays. He carried around that broken compass because her picture was in it.” You looked back up at him sadly, shrugging. “And I get it; it’s hard to move past your first love. I get it because…that’s what he was to me.”

There was a silence that blanketed the hallway, before he spoke up hesitantly. “What about Bucky?”

“I thought - I thought I was projecting my feelings for Steve onto him because I knew Steve couldn’t ever…”

Sam raised an eyebrow. “You thought? What do you think now?”

You cleared your throat. “I’m still figuring that one out.”

“If you ever need to talk, I’ll be here.”

You chuckled, nodding slightly towards him. “Back atcha. Don’t think I haven’t noticed you not being yourself lately, either.”

“It’s…a tough topic.”

You nodded in understanding. “Just know that I’ll support every decision you make as long as you think it’s the right one. Because I trust you. Steve trusted you. It’s all we can do to try to do what’s right. That’s what makes you a good man, Sammy. He gave you that shield for a reason, and if you think what you did was right…I’ll stand by it.”

The two of you stared at each other for a moment, calming down in each other’s presences and taking comfort knowing you’d be there for each other through thick and thin. “Thank you, cher.”

“Of course, Sammy. Now let’s go see what’s taking the old grump so long.”

He laughed at that, nodding in agreement, taking your offered hand and squeezing it as you made your way down the hall.

****************

“What?”

Bucky eyed you as you spluttered, coughing on the water you were drinking. “Please don’t choke, doll.”

“Break him out of jail?!” You repeated his words and blinked at him, absolutely baffled by his plan. “Oh my God.” You groaned as Bucky and Sam started arguing, moving your flashlight around the room. “Where the hell are we?” There was no response as they kept going back and forth.

“Zemo’s gonna mess with our minds! Especially yours! No offense.”

“Heelllloooo!” You tried again. “Where the hell are we?!”

Bucky turned on the lights, giving Sam a look. “Offense.” Glancing at you he quirked an eyebrow. “Stop worrying your pretty lil’ head, sweetheart. You trust me, dontcha?” Your breath hitched at his words. You quickly recovered, huffing and pouting - although you’d deny ever pouting - and crossing your arms. You stood between the guys like that, eyes darting to whoever was speaking, waiting for them to stop so you could actually think.

“Look. Let me just walk you through a hypothetical. Can I walk you through a hypothetical?”

You and Sam exchanged glances. “What did you do?”

“I…didn’t do…anything.” Bucky shrugged.

“How is it that you, one of the most deadliest assassins basically ever, are one of the worst liars I know.” You tilted your head at him, an eyebrow quirking up in confusion.

“Shush it you. Just, okay. The weakest point in any system isn’t the software, the hardware, it’s the meatware. The human element.”

The more you listened to Bucky’s “hypothetical”, the stronger the gut feeling telling you this was a terrible terrible idea got. You brought your hands up to your head, eyes wide as he spoke.

“I don’t like how casual you’re bein’ about this. This is unnatural.”

You couldn’t help but agree with Sam’s words, your head falling back and your eyes closing. “Sweet Jesus. Listen, God, I know we don’t talk much these days, but please, please don’t let this not be a hypothetical. I’m fucking begging you.”

A noise to your right made your head snap over. “Oh hell to the fucking no!” You shook your head as Zemo himself walked in, wearing a prison guards uniform. “Uh-uh! No way! Bucky, this was not part of the plan!”

“What did you do?!”

“We need him!”

“You’re going back to prison.”

“If I may-”

All three of you faced him, simultaneously shouting, “no!”

You held your face in your hands as your head dropped, shaking back and forth, your eyes squeezing shut, tuning them out for just a minute to think. Bucky had a point. The enemy of my enemy is my friend and all that, and the Avengers were technically disbanded, which was Zemo’s whole objective in the first place, but…God. You were good at compartmentalizing, but not that much. You were willing to put your feelings aside for the mission so Bucky could talk to him. Not for you to work with him. But he had connections, you knew he did, and he had information…

“Doll?” You looked up, Bucky anxiously licking his lips as he met your gaze. “I need you to say something.”

You looked to Sam, who shrugged, gesturing to Zemo. “What do you think?”

What did you think? What did you think?! You thought that it was the worst idea in the history of ideas and you should turn back and find another way! But…you knew this was the fastest, probably most reliable way to get information that you needed.

Dammit, since when were you the deciding factor?

You sucked in a breath, looking over Sam’s shoulder at Zemo, who lifted his hand in greeting. You raised your eyes to the ceiling, pointing your finger accusingly. “This is why we stopped talking.” Gaze dropping to the still waiting fellas, you gnawed on your lip, before hissing out, “ffffine…” Running a hand through your hair, you threw your hands up as you shrugged. “Fine. Okay. Fine.”

“Okay.” Sam nodded, taking charge again.

You couldn’t believe this was happening. Except, that was a lie. You could. You’d seen weirder. You’d experienced the impossible. Lived through the unbelievable. This…this was completely imaginable.

Which is why, with a lot of hesitation and very little confidence in this plan, you followed Zemo through the auto shop you were in until you reached a large room with a ton of different old cars.

Bucky’s hand found yours as Zemo explained what the plan was, rather vaguely, in your opinion, but at least he was explaining. Point for him. Not that it would make up for the level of distrust you held for him, but it was something.

You looked up at him, giving him a puzzling frown. He usually only grabbed your hand in front of other people when he was feeling anxious. Which, yeah, he had a right to be anxious right now, but it wasn’t the right kind. The type of anxiety caused by large crowds and loud noises, ones that startled him and threw him into a defensive mode.

But the look on his face made you squeeze his hand in reassurance. He was pouting, staring at you although he did something wrong - a puppy that tore up a pillow - and all you wanted to do was give him a hug.

“You’re mad at me.” He mumbled as the four of you headed out with Zemo in the lead.

“No I’m not.”

“Yeah you are.

“Bucky, I’m not mad.”

“Listen, if I had a better idea I wouldn’t-”

You brought your linked hands up to your lips, pressing a gentle kiss to his gloved knuckles. “I’m not mad.” You repeated more firmly. “It’s just…a lot for me, right now.”

“Why? What’s going on?”

“Nothing’s going on, Buck, I-I just…” You thought about your and Sam’s earlier conversation and suddenly understood what he meant. “I need to breathe for a second.”

His features twisted into ones of uncertainty, eyes squinting as you stepped outside. “Do you…do you wanna leave?”

You shook your head, tugging his arm to stop him and grabbing the sunglasses on his collar, slipping them over his eyes. “No. I just need some time to think. Hopefully the plane ride to wherever the hell we’re going will give me that.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes, James. I’m sure.”

He lowered the glasses on his nose to scan you over the frames, before nodding and sliding them back up. “Okay. You ready for this, then?”

“No.” You breathed, turning back to where Zemo and Sam were still walking. “Let’s do this.”

*****************

Climbing onto the private jet, you raised an eyebrow at Sam, who shrugged, giving you a bemused expression. A Baron…huh…who knew? You feel like you should’ve, yet there you were.

You sat besides Bucky, across from Zemo, crossing your legs and leaning back while staring at him through narrowed eyes.

His butler seemed nice, which made you even more suspicious. You obviously didn’t know as much about Zemo as you wanted to. It was a habit you picked up after years of undercover work; once the mission was complete, that was that. There was no looking back on it. No sitting on it. It was over and you moved onto the next one. It was a bad habit in cases like this.

The moment you spotted the notebook over Zemo’s book you knew something was going to happen, yet you still flinched when Bucky lunged at him, grabbing his throat. You leaned back in your seat again, steadying your now racing heartbeat. You decided you were too tense, trying to relax your muscles as Bucky sat back down in his seat.

“I’ve seen that book. It was Steve’s when he came out of the ice. I told him about Trouble Man. He wrote it in that book.” Sam seemed so proud of himself that something he recommended was written in Steve’s little book and it made you smile.

You remembered that; Steve and you were supposed to meet up for coffee after his run, but Fury called him in so you rescheduled it for when he got back. He asked you about Marvin Gaye. For your opinion. You told him to check it out and make his own.

You remembered asking him about that little notebook of his, and he just shrugged you off telling you about his list. He would read items off to you, but he never let you read the book yourself. You never found out why, and you supposed you never would now. The thought made an ache behind your ribs that you’d come to familiarize yourself with appear.

You smiled a little more as Zemo and Sam told Bucky how awesome Marvin Gaye was. “C’mon, baby. Back me up.”

Chuckling, you looked at Bucky. “They’re not wrong. But,” you quickly added before Bucky could whine at you, facing Sam again. “Neither is Buck. I mean, c’mon. You can’t find music like the 40’s anymore. Ella Fitzgerald, Louis Armstrong, Benny Goodman, Fred Astaire. Ol’ Blue Eyes himself.”

“Thank you.” Bucky grinned at Sam, who rolled his eyes.

“Okay, okay. But, I mean, c’mon! Everybody loves Marvin Gaye.”

“I like Marvin Gaye.”

“Steve adored Marvin Gaye.”

Your face fell as Zemo started talking about Steve and icons and Red Skull, your mind once again slipping away from reality.

“Kids love you.” You giggled as you finally made it out of his exhibit. You’d wanted to show it to him since he moved to D.C., and you’d finally got an opportunity after coming back from being undercover for ten weeks. “You’re their hero, you know.”

“Yeah, well, I’m just trying to do what’s right.”

You nudged him, scoffing at his answer. “You’re too humble. You’re a national icon, you know.”

Steve shrugged, looking around the museum at the planes surrounding them. “I never wanted to be.”

“Why not? Everyone loves you.”

“I’m sure not everyone loves me.” He rolled his eyes. “And…I just wanted to help. To fight. Protect my country and the people I cared about. I-I didn’t ask for…all that.” He waved behind his shoulder where his exhibit was getting smaller with each step they took away. “People were dying. Bullies were winning.”

You shook your head, spinning and walking backwards besides him to face him. “Sure, but you did that. And you became someone people could look up to in the process.”

He narrowed his eyes at you before asking, “why do you do what you do?”

“...because I’m good at it?”

“Honey.” He gave you a look. “Answer the question.”

You hummed in thought. “Because I couldn’t stand by, knowing there would be orphaned kids if I didn’t help any way I could.”

“Alright. Why do you do it in the dark?”

“Whaddya mean?”

He shrugged. “Why don’t you come out and take credit for all the lives you’ve saved?”

“Because that’s not why I do it. I don’t want that attention. I just want to know I’ve helped people. I’ve kept them safe.”

He gave you a soft smile. “I just wanted to beat the bully. I never wanted to be a dancing monkey, too.” You looked at him in a new light then, understanding where he was coming from. “Watch out, honey!” He grabbed you and pulled you aside before you could crash into a wall, arms wrapped firmly around your waist. He gave you that charming smile of his. “Wouldn’t want you hurting that pretty lil’ head of yours, now would we?”

“Y/N!”

You snapped back into the conversation, moving your eyes from the window to Bucky, who tilted his head, eyebrows pinched and eyes narrowed. “Sorry. So, Madripoor. That’s a fun place.”

You ignored the side eyed glances Bucky and Sam exchanged, Sam turning to you curiously. “You’ve been?”

“Once. Back in 2010 for a few months”

Zemo raised his eyebrows. “You’re lucky to have gotten out.”

You shrugged nonchalantly. “Lucky, maybe. Skills were a part of it, too, though.”

“Good.” Zemo nodded. “Because we’re going undercover…and if we blow it. We’re dead.”

You breathed out, shaking your memory away and getting your head back into the game. Because like the man you were severely wary of in front of you said, if you blew this, you were dead. And, sure, you didn’t want to live until ninety, but you weren’t even half way there yet. So dammit if you were going to die soon.

“Hey.” You looked over at Bucky’s murmur, his head tilting as he grabbed your hand and pulled you from your seat closer to him. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah. I’m fine. Are you okay? You know you’re going to have to be-”

“I know.” He nodded. You watched his Adam’s Apple bob as he swallowed thickly. “I’ll be fine. Just…tell me right now if you need to step out for this one.”

You gave him a smile that you knew he didn’t buy, just by the slight narrowing of his eye, his lips pressing together. “No. No, I’m good for this. If you think I’m gonna let you two idiots go into Madripoor with him - alone - oil that cyborg brain of yours, because there’s no way.”

He squeezed your hand, eyes still filled with uncertainty. “Are you sure?”

“If there’s even a slight possibility that I can protect you, then yeah. I’m sure, Buckaroo.”

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lovely-angst · 3 years ago

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break ups and break ins

a/n: i didn't have any motivation to continue writing so it stayed in my drafts for forever. it's a super messy fic im not super proud of tbh i wanted to scrap it but i got so far lol

genre: angst to fluff

pairing: hawks x reader

summary: you and hawks break up, but someone breaks in?

word count: 3.7k+

09.16.21

"come on, stop being so sensitive," hawks groans with an eye roll as you gawk at him. "you think i'm being sensitive because I'm hurt that you're out there flirting with other girls while we are in a relationship?"

you scoff in disbelief before tears form in your eyes, "i can't believe you right now, keigo."

hawks' brows knit as he stares at you bewildered, "i've already told you that it's just an act i have to out up because of the commission. i can't let them figure out i have a romantic relationship with someone. you don't know what they would do or could do."

"but that doesn't mean you can flirt around with no boundaries!" your voice comes out loud as your arms flail out in front of you, tears streaming down your face, "do you know how much it hurts to see you on television sweet-talking every girl out there when you're my boyfriend? i thought you would respect what we have..."

"(name), just admit you're just jealous of the fangirls and leave it at that," hawks closes his eyes, shaking his head in frustration, "honestly, they appreciate me so much more than you do."

your eyes widen in shock as you feel your heart shattering into tiny pieces so small you aren't sure if you could piece it back up.

"keigo, i love you for who you are—not because you're hawks," your voice now small and laced with hurt. "if you can't see the reason why i am so upset, i think it's best if we end it."

hawks' eyes quickly glance to yours before they look away just as quick, "i think that's what's best too," he whispers, causing your brows to furrow in sadness as you purse your lips tightly.

taking a step forward, you wrap your arms around your now ex-boyfriend, taking in his comforting arms and smell, "thanks for everything." a heavy sigh left from his lips before he nuzzled into you, "can i hold you in bed one last time?"

words died in your throat as you felt the tears sting your eyes once more. a nod was your only reply as hawks lifted the two of you up with his large wings, carrying you into the bedroom.

no words were exchanged as the two of you allowed your quiet breaths to mingle together in silence.

your heart was still achey from the fresh break-up as your cries and tears quietly filled the air. your nose and eyes red and raw from all the wiping you had done—the tissues around you as proof.

"hey, come on. you can't keep living like this and expect to get better," mirko says and she stands infront of you with a small smile. "how about we watch something to distract your mind?" she suggests as she turns around to pick up the controller to turn the television screen on.

"hawks, being the number two hero must be so taxing! how do you do it?"

hawks gives that big bright smile you've always loved, "my fans always give me motivation to do my best! i love you my babybirds!"

"oh shit-" mirko quickly turns the television screen off before she turns over to you, watching as your lips quiver before you break out in another crying session.

"rumi," you whine, muffled behind your tissues, "he doesn't care for me at all!" letting out a sigh, she walks over and places a comforting hand on your hair before running her hand through your locks, "hey, don't say that. hawks' cared for you a lot. break-ups happen, but don't let it keep you like this. let's go out and have some fun today, yeah?"

your teary eyes glance up at her before you let out sigh, "okay."

but to your surprise, a quick hour later here you were on a chair getting your makeup done professionally as mirko sat on the couch, munching away on a carrot. "rumi? why am i getting my makeup done professionally?"

"my makeup artist is good at what she does when she beats my face with makeup for those hero galas. i thought it would make you feel better getting your makeup done professionally before we go out and explore the city a bit," she finishes, taking another crunchy bite of her carrot.

a small, "oh" leaves your lips before your attention focuses back on the lipstick that gently glided across your lips. "there, all done. you look great!" the makeup artist cheers as she hands you a mirror.

your eyes sparkled once you saw your reflection—you had never felt so pretty before!

"are you ready to go out now?" mirko asks with a smile as she stands from her seat. you couldn't help the small, yet excited, smile, "yeah."

your words had been on repeat in hawks' mind.

you were upset because of how he was treating his fans—flirting with his fans as you put it. it was a constant argument the two of you had and frankly, he was getting tired of it. why you couldn't understand where he was coming from?

he didn't want to break up because of something so trivial, but it seemed like a break up was the only option. but it was fine, his fans kept him going; or that's what he thought was keeping him going.

"hawks! we love you!" his fans cried as he landed down in front of them, his handsome smile swooning everyone lucky enough to get their eye on him. "thanks birdies! i'm always happy to have your support!"

"can i have a picture?" "sign my shirt for me!" "you're the best hero!"

fans; something he enjoyed about being a hero. everywhere he went, they were there to offer him their love and support which he appreciated and loved!

but there often came days when he just wanted to stay cooped in his apartment. away from the world and away from the hero hawks. he simply wanted to escape and enjoy being keigo for a little while.

maintaining a facade took a lot away from him. it was tiring, exhausting even, trying to keep up with how fast his mind was going. a million different things happening at once and hawks had to be able to solve them. a little much for a single guy, don't 'cha think?

landing in at his balcony, hawks let out a heavy sigh as he was finally done with another tiring day of being the number two hero. thankfully, he had the next day off to do, well, nothing.

staring at the dark apartment with a an empty look, hawks let out a groan of exhaustion before unlocking the door and stepping in.

it was quiet, extra quiet these days. since he had gone to living by himself again.

after removing his hero gear, hawks walked into the kitchen and frowned at his lack of food in the fridge. usually, you were always there to greet him with a smile and a hearty dinner after a hard day at work.

well, that didn't matter anymore because you two had broken up, hawks mentally responded to his thoughts.

it seemed like tonight was one of those nights he really missed you.

you made this place feel like home and the more he thought about it, you were his home. he was safe with you and it was okay to let hawks go for the night and just be keigo. you loved him as he came, his flaws and everything. even the emotional baggage!

letting out an exhausted sigh, hawks closed his empty fridge before making his way towards his bed, plopping down with a grunt. "i'll just get a bigger breakfast tomorrow," he noted, pulling out his phone to catch up on his social media for the night.

hawks wasn't expecting to see much on his social media, he's too busy to be checking these sorts of things. today though, he was a little extra bored at home—until he saw a photo of you that mirko shared.

hawks quickly sat up in disbelief. hawks was genuinely confused. you had always been super pretty, but you were extra pretty in this picture. was it because you were no longer his? his eyes glanced over you in the photo for many long minutes as he took in your beauty. you looked so ethereal.

hawks was so thankful for mirko, he would have never stumbled across this photo of you.

the more he smiled at the photo, the more his heart ached. if only he just listened to you more and tried to find a solution to this problem, you would still be with him, in his arms. he was a fool to let you go because he didn't understand your pain. especially when you were always there for him when you couldn't understand his pain.

hawks found himself pulling up that photo of you whenever the days were tough. it never failed to bring a smile to his lips.

until mirko deleted the post.

he should've saved it when he had the chance, hawks thought as he let out a groan upon finding no picture. but, maybe mirko still had it on her phone? thankfully, there was a top five hero meeting that day which meant he could ask mirko about the picture.

hawks sat impatiently in his chair as he drummed his finger against his thigh, counting down the minutes until the meeting would conclude. it must've been distracting, because mirko approached him first after the meeting.

"hey birdbrain, what's up with you? you looked distracted during the meeting," mirko questioned walking up to the winged hero. hawks perked up slightly, before giving her a smile, "hmm? nah, just sick of meetings, wanted to get out." mirko eyed him curiously, "if you say so."

"i saw that picture you posted of (name)," he commented, "you two were hanging out?"

"huh? oh, this picture?" pulling up the picture on her phone, she showed him the photo before pulling away to hawks' dismay. "yeah, we went out. it was about time too! (name) seemed to be enjoying herself, so i'm glad i got to capture that."

hawks couldn't help the smile on his lips knowing that you were happy and could enjoy yourself. he really just wanted you to be happy, even if that wasn't with him.

"if you wanted the photo, you could've just asked," mirko smirks, causing hawks to duck his head down in embarrassment. "but even if you ask, im not giving it to you." Hawks turned his head brows furrowed and confused, slightly offended, "why would you even suggest it then?"

"not sure, maybe it'll be a way to encourage you to find a way to get it."

mirko had an interesting way of talking, hawks thought as he continued on with his patrol. it seemed like she was hinting at more than what she was saying, but he wasn't really interested in solving puzzles when he was busy being the number 2 hero.

and boy, was he busy busy.

it felt as if all the villains knew hawks would be out on patrol today, using that to their advatange by stiring up so much more trouble than on a typical day—not that he couldn't handle it, it was just more work that he would have hoped to do that day.

from the sky, he could see a crowd forming below on the streets as they cheered him on for another successful capture. hawks let out an exhausted sigh, but floated down to greet his fans nonetheless. there even happened to be press.

"hawks! you were amazing out there!" "great work! i can always count on you!" "you looked so attractive fighting those villains!"

hawks lifted up his visor and gave the fans a handsome grin, causing a chorus of squeals. hawks glanced at one of the fans near him lips curled in a smirk, mouth ready to open and say a few lines that would send arrows straight to the heart when he subconsciously stopped himself.

closing his mouth, he gave her a gentle smile before a soft reply came out, "thank you for supporting me."

it was weird of him to respond to fans in such fashion, but your words were stuck in the back of his head. he wished he could have acted this way before you two broke it off, it would have saved a lot of heartache.

hawks hoped you would notice his change. and unbeknownst to him, you had.

your eyes were glued to the television that aired the news that also happened to feature your ex-boyfriend, hawks. your heart felt fuzzy as you watched him, he seemed different...more down to earth?

"your eyes haven't left the tv since hawks appeared," mirko comments causing you to avert your eyes embarrassed. "i was just interested in the news for today, that's all," you tried but knew mirko wouldn't buy into your lie.

"yeah, okay. keep telling yourself that," she chuckles as she she sits down beside you. "so, whats going on in that head of yours now?"

"he's different now, rumi," you state, eyes drifting back to the screen. "he's talking to his fans like they're fans." your shoulders slump sadly, "i wish he was like this when we were together...i guess he really doesn't care about me after all."

mirko lets out a grunt as she listens to your moping. turning towards her, you notice her adjusting her purple thigh high socks to sit snugly against her upper thighs, "you have patrol this evening?"

"yep, my turn for an evening patrol. they're not that bad, more bad guys come out at night," she jokes with chuckle but you don't find it funny. "i know you can easily beat them, but that doesn't mean i worry any less for you," you sigh. "stay safe please."

"will do, cry baby," she jokes once more causing you to angrily pout, "i'm not a cry baby!" "says the one crying over hawks. bye!" and with that she quickly leaves out the door before you could throw a pillow at her.

rolling your eyes playfully, you walk over toward the bedroom you shared with mirko. you had a nice futon on the floor beside of her bed that surprisingly was very comfy. organizing her room a bit and folding her clothes she tossed around, you tried to busy yourself until she came back.

which was surprisingly short.

you heard the main door swing open before hearing her move around the living room and kitchen. she must've forgotten something, you thought to yourself as you made your way toward the bedroom door you had previously closed behind you.

"rumi? did you forget something?" you ask as you open the door, just to find yourself staring at the stranger in the apartment who donned a black ski mask with some sort of weapon in their hand. unfortunately your voice had caught their attention and their head quickly turned toward you before bolting it down the hallway for you.

screaming, you quickly shut the door and locked it before the thief could get in. the rattle of the doorknob causes you to let out another shriek as you looked around for a way to protect yourself and to escape.

the only solution that came to your mind was to block the door with whatever heavy furniture mirko had on her room which consisted of her bed, a desk and her clothes drawers. you did your best to block the door, but it was proving to be not enough.

"open the door and i won't hurt you miss," the voice called out and you felt your stomach twist from their words.

you scurried around to look for your phone and thankfully found it amongst this chaos and your body went on auto-pilot and dialed the first person that came to your mind whenever you were in danger.

your shaky hand brought your phone to your ear as you ran into the furthest corner of her room. your free hand covering your trembling lips. please pick up.

"hello? (name)?"

"keigo please help me," you cried quietly so the person on the other side couldn't hear you, but the desperation in your voice was clear as day for hawks. "(name)? whats happening? where are you?" his voice was now firm and laced with worry as you began to sob in through the phone.

"i'm at mirko's and she just left for patrol but someone broke in and i hid myself in her room. i'm so scared, please come quick." and right after he heard you squeak in fear from the unidentified noises through your phone.

"i'm coming right now," you could hear the power his wings had as he lift himself into the sky, "does she have any windows you can exit from?" glancing behind you, you took a mental note that her windows were large enough for you to escape through—the only problem was mirko lived on the tenth floor.

squeezing your eyes shut, you nodded even though hawks could not see you, "yeah, but she doesn't have any escape ladders and i'm on the tenth floor." hawks cursed under his breath on the other side, "just hold on, i'm almost there."

clutching onto your phone, you jumped when the barricade you made against the door was getting tossed around from the force of the stranger on the other side trying to break in. scrambling around, you quickly unlocked the window before opening it, allowing the wind to flow in.

with another jolt from the door all of your barricades flew from the door, leaving it vulnerable. you knew the door would fall with his next move, so with trembling hands, you maneuvered your body outside the window, letting your bottom sit on the window frame.

from a distance, you could hear someone calling out your name. when you narrowed your eyes to focus, all of the stress left your body as you watched them shoot towards you. hawks had come to your rescue!

but hawks wasn't close enough.

the door behind you broke allowing the stranger into the room and before they could grab a hold of you, you jumped.

"(name)!"

as your body free fell down towards the earth, hawks used his wings to give himself one strong push forward before folding his wings tightly behind his back to gain speed to reach you.

reaching his arms out, he caught you in time before shooting back up towards the sky, "that was so stupid of you!" you shouted loudly against the wind, "what if i wasn't there in time?"

glancing up at him, you gave him a small smile, "i just knew you'd get to me in time ."

"agh, more paperwork i have to fill out!" mirko groans as she walks around her messy apartment after hawks and her had caught the suspect and had cops take care of him. as she walked away into her bedroom with a line of curses, you quietly turned over towards hawks who had his back facing you. he was on call with the commission.

"yep, i'll get that finished tomorrow," ending his call and stuffing his phone in his pocket, he turns around to find you staring at him. his cheeks flush slightly from the sudden eye contact, but he managed to compose himself. "are you doing alright? that must've been quite the terrifying experience."

"yeah, thanks for picking up. you were the first person i thought to call," you confess and he perks up. "oh yeah?"

"you've always kept me safe and i just really needed you when i was in danger. so thanks," giving him a smile he mirrors you. "of course, anything for you."

your heart flutters from his words, but you slightly turn yourself away, glancing down. you two were no longer dating, so there was no need to get butterflies over him again. "well, thanks again. you must have a busy day tomorrow."

"do you buy any chance still have that photo of you when you were out with mirko?" hawks asks suddenly causing you to glance up at him. "you know, when you two went out a couple weeks ago? you were all dolled up and honestly, just super pretty?" hawks says boldly with a sheepish grin.

"why are you asking?"

"send it my way."

you gawked at him, "you want me to send you a picture of me? we're not dating anymore, that would be weird!" hawks could only shrug, "okay, that's simple then. let's go on a date." you gawked even further, "what is going on inside of that bird brain? all this for a photo?"

"i want to be the one who takes those photos of you. i want to be the reason you get all dolled up. i know i messed up, (name). i've been changing the way i talk to my fans because i understand how i hurt you. could you give me another chance to make it better? i promise i will treat you the way you deserve to be treated."

this was coming too suddenly, your wounds were just starting to heal.

"you...you don't mean that, hawks," you say dejectedly as you back up to sit on mirko's couch. "i'm scared."

"he means it you know?" mirko pops out of the hallway suddenly and stands with her arms crossed against her chest as she stares at the two of you. "he's been asking me for that picture nonstop since he saw it online."

"but he really does love you still, (name) and i know you still love him too. go ahead and give it another shot, i'll be here to kick him to the curb if he does anything bad to you." she encourages, making you glance back towards hawks.

"promise?" your eyes are sparkly from the tears that had glossed over your eyes and hawks gives you a confident nod, "promise. i'll pick you up at six tomorrow?"

you couldn't help your growing smile, "yeah, i'll be waiting."

- e x t r a -

as hawks flew off towards his apartment, the notification ding of his phone went off causing him to take a look. you had sent him a text!

opening the message his eyes widen from the photo you sent, it was the cute pic of you all dolled up!

"i'm so in love!" he shouts loudly in the sky.

#hawks #hawks x reader #hawks x you #mha x reader #my hero academia x reader #bnha #bnha x reader #boku no hero academia x reader #keigo x reader #takami keigo x reader #keigo takami x reader

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k-s-morgan · 3 years ago

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Hi! My Internet gradually stops working well, but I’m still fine and my family is still safe. As always, I can’t tell you all how much I appreciate all the kinds words, messages, financial and emotional support you’ve given me. The fact that the world has so many wonderful and compassionate people is one of my comfort thoughts at a time like this, where there is so much grief and fear wherever you go.

I’m once again at the stage where I feel rather optimistic. I don’t think this war will last long. Both Ukrainian and Russian news (and I’m sure plenty of foreign news) are distorting the truth in completely opposite ways, to the point where it’s difficult to say which of them is closer to being objective, but facts remain facts, and they help make some conclusions. I’m hopeful that my home will remain a safe harbor for me and my family. It’s possible that Russian troops might use one of the roads nearby to make their way into the city, but even that is far enough, and they won’t be interested in this location much, there is really nothing of importance here.

Many of the shops nearby are working, and with the help of those who contributed to my Patreon, my Mom and I keep buying more food, water, meds, and pet food. Today we volunteered to look after a pet shop - the owner has fled and told shop assistants to leave all the animals to die. Since the assistants want to leave Kiev, too, they tried to find someone who could come inside and feed the pets daily. We live close by, so we said we can do it.

I’ve started writing short semi-fictional stories that play well into my mood. Maybe I’ll make it into a book at some point. I miss my fandoms and my fics, and I hope I’ll be able to get back to them very soon. It’s just so difficult to enjoy something when fear and worry became a constant part of my life. On good days like this one, I manage to distract myself for some time, but even that doesn’t last long, and before I know it, I’m back to reading the news, trying to separate lies from truths.

Answering questions from some asks: I’m a born Ukrainian, but Russian is my first language, just like it is for the majority of our population (if you count Crimea). So I tend to spell “Kiev” like this instead of using the Ukrainian version of “Kyiv.” Leaving without any of my family members and all of my pets is not something I can consider right now. I love them so much, they are my world. I’m not sure I can envision life without them. We all have a very close, maybe even obsessive relationship with each other, and the idea of separation is a nightmare. Also, like I mentioned before, there are many risks involved with the trip itself.

That said, if things get really, really bad here, I might take this risk. For now, staying seems safer and better than escaping, but it might change. I still can’t imagine leaving my loved ones, but if it comes to surviving or staying with them... maybe I’ll choose the former. I don’t know yet, I can’t bear thinking about it.

I want to stay as optimistic as I am today. Also, sorry for not replying to asks individually: I want to keep records of my own posts for later, and this format is more convenient for me. I also don’t want to clutter people’s dashboards with posts that I never thought I would be making on this site.

Thank you again, each of you. Here are two selfies I took with one of my cats and one of my pigeons today. I’m praying that we all stay safe tonight and tomorrow.

#personal #ukraine #kiev

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yutahoes · 3 years ago

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All About You

pairing: nerdy! Yuta Nakamoto x rich! bratty! Y/N (I hope I made justice) other characters: Johnny as your twin brother, Taeyong as your bestfriend word count: 4.2k words genre: fluff summary: He’s supposed to teach you Math, why is he teaching you to love? warnings: cursing, Y/N has a bad temper, cheating, cringe Some scenes are inspired from ‘It Started with a Kiss’

a/n: Based on this ask. I’m sorry anon, this took such a long time to write. 😭 I just feel unmotivated to write and the week had been such a whirlwind of emotions. I’ve also been so busy, it’s so crazy.

Also, this is my thank you post for reaching another milestone of this writing blog. I never expected that I’ll past 500 followers but now, it’s in 1.5k. Thank you for following me and reading my works. Please, don’t hesitate to give me feedback even if it’s good or bad. 😅

"Y/N!" Your eyes shoot open at the sound, groaning when you realize that it was your brother shouting. "You'll be late for school." You hid your head under the pillow to shut down the noise coming from outside the room. "Your car is towed, have you forgotten about it?" Once again, you groaned. "If you don't come down after five minutes, you'll have to take the bus."

Once again your eyes opened, raising your head. Five minutes? How will you get ready in five minutes? Your allowance is almost gone. You needed to go to school with Johnny or you might end up taking a bus. You were wearing your school uniform when you heard a car engine and saw Johnny leaving already. "Fuck!" You whispered to yourself before taking your bag and hurriedly ran down the stairs.

"Fuck you, Johnny Seo!" You shouted in annoyance, dragging your school bag outside the gates of your large house while taking your phone out and calling your bestfriend. "Pay for my cab fee."

“I don’t have any money left,” Taeyong whined. “Just take the bus.” He said before hanging out that pissed you off much more.

You groaned in annoyance before walking to the bus stop. You will get scolded for being late again if you don’t take the bus. You just wished that no one is going to see you.

Luckily, the bus isn’t that crowded but there’s only one seat available, beside a guy who had the same uniform as yours. How annoying.

The guy was focused on answering a worksheet, his name written above. Yuta Nakamoto. You heard that name before but instead of pondering over it, you decided to shrug it. You were thankful that he’s the only person from your school who is on the same bus as you or it will be really embarrassing. Once you walked to the gate of the school, you noticed the discipline director on the gates. Shit, you thought, you forgot your necktie. This has detention written all over it. This day is so unlucky.

A piece of fabric can be felt on your neck followed by the same male student walking before you. The discipline director saw him and scolded him for not wearing a necktie that startled you. You glanced at the necktie hanging on your neck and hastily fixed it before getting inside the campus. Your eyes meeting with the same guy you were sitting next to earlier on the bus. Yuta Nakamoto.

You shrug while passing him. It's his fault that he's punished like this. Why would he give his necktie to you? When you arrive at your locker, you exchange the worn-out necktie with the spare you have in your locker. "Hey, did you study for our Math exam?" Taeyong greeted that made you roll your eyes. He knew you never study for anything.

"You know everyone in school, right?" He's such a social butterfly, everyone is his friend. You handed him the necktie, "Return this to Yuta Nakamoto."

"You know Yuta?" But you didn't answer him and started walking the opposite way to your first class in English. Johnny's eyes were on you as you entered the class you shared with him, raising your middle finger as you sat down on your chair and slept on the desk.

The bell rang. English is done. Lifelessly, you walked to the other side of the building to attend your most loathed class of all. Math.

Everyone was busy reading notes as you sat next to Taeyong. "Did you study?" You asked and he nodded, grinning. "Just open your paper." He groaned and you gave him a glare before the teacher came in with papers in his hand. He asked everyone to keep their notes and handed out the worksheets.

Your head was aching at all the numbers and letters on the paper. Your eyes glanced at Taeyong's paper, lightly elbowing him to show his answer. The teacher passed your table and Taeyong lightly glanced at his paper then glared at you.

"Let me see." You whispered when the teacher passed your table. He opened his paper, lightly glancing around as you try to copy what is written. Someone called for the teacher while you were busy copying the numbers from Taeyong's paper then someone called your name.

"Copying, Ms. Y/N?" the teacher asked that made you turn to him. "Thank you for informing me, Mr. Nakamoto." Nakamoto? You lightly glanced at the guy in glasses next to the teacher. Of course, it’s him.

You were brought to the detention room after class. An hour of doing nothing. What’s more annoying is the fact that you were given a failing grade in Math already. There’s nothing you can do but hiss in annoyance.

When you got home, you had an earful from your grandfather about how you’re such a disappointment to your mom and even comparing you to the perfect Johnny. “Get Y/N a personal tutor.” the older commanded your twin brother, “Maybe she’ll stop cheating in exams.”

You were annoyed. It’s a one-time event. This is your first time copying from Taeyong since you really didn’t know about the Math exam. Why are they all acting like you’re a serious offender? This is all that guy’s fault for snitching on you.

The next day was more annoying because you came face to face with Nakamoto Yuta, the snitch, who even had the guts to sit in front of you. “He will be your tutor,” Johnny claimed that made you wide-eyed. He’s kidding. “Grandpa already agreed to it. He said if you pass Math, you’ll get back your car.” You glared before sighing. You needed the car back, going on the bus is a hassle and Johnny isn’t even helping you at all.

Even if you hated and wanted to ruin this guy’s life, he’s your only choice to getting what you want.

From your usual seat, you were always transferred to sit beside Yuta as per your grandfather’s wishes. If he’s this influential in school, why are you even bothering to study? Yuta is always with you every class and you were annoyed at how he seemed like a bodyguard, making sure that you attend classes, rather than a tutor. He’s quiet, you have to give him that. Always buried in his books. You believe he doesn’t even know your name.

That was until you pushed all his buttons.

It’s not because you’re dumb but school is unmotivating for you so you never put in any effort into your subjects especially Math. “You got this wrong again, Y/N.” Yuta exclaimed while pointing at your answer. Wow, he knew your name. “I’ve been explaining this for hours. Are you stupid?”

“What did you call me?”

“Stupid,” he said while looking straight at you. “Even a second-grader would know how to multiply numbers.” You hissed before taking the paper and started answering the question properly. Yuta chuckled when you returned the paper to him, checking your answer. “You have such a bad temper.”

“Piss me off more and you might get the worst temper ever.” You warned but he only smirked that annoyed you more. “Annoying loser!” you muttered under your breath.

"That's the reason why you don't have any friends." He really is here to annoy you, isn't he? And you have a friend, Lee Taeyong. Pissed off, you pulled the first thing you saw from him, his glasses, then threw them on the ground before stepping on them.

Johnny's booming voice can be heard in the library and you know, you're in deep trouble already.

------

"You broke your tutor's glasses?" your grandfather asked, voice rising. You rolled your eyes, poking the beef on your plate before cutting it so small. “Apologize to him tomorrow.”

You stared at him in surprise. You? Apologize? To that nerd? He started it! “I won’t, just buy him new glasses.”

“I already did,” Johnny whispered, drinking his juice.

“See?” You smiled cheekily, “Problem solved.”

The older man sighed before dropping down his utensils that startled your twin brother. “You’re hopeless, Y/N.” He claimed while glaring at you. “If you don’t apologize to Mr. Nakamoto, I’ll cut off your allowance in half. And we’ll pretend that the discussion about your car didn’t happen.” What? You gasped but he only stood up, making Johnny sigh.

“Y/N, please be nice to Yuta. He’s been through a lot.”

-------

You have no choice but to wake up extra early and come to school with Johnny. You were napping on your desk when you felt a thud beside you. Yuta is here. “Is that really Yuta?” You overheard your classmates asked that made you curious. When you raise your head to look at him, you were startled at his shining, glassy eyes staring at you as well. Before you could say anything, a female classmate called his name. “Yuta, do you want to eat tteokbokki with us later?”

You sighed before taking out your book, tapping a pencil on the cover. “Yeah sure,” Yuta claimed and you inwardly smile, no tutor lesson today. “Do you want to come, Y/N?” The girls were looking uncomfortable so you just shook your head, claiming that tteokbokki is disgusting which made Yuta roll his eyes. “Then I’ll just come to your place later for the tutor session.” A groan escaped your lips. What the hell?

It was late afternoon when the maid called for you, saying that Yuta is looking for you. Johnny welcomed him and even claimed that he asked the maids to prepare the garden for the session. You were seated in front of him, looking uninterested, books sprawled in front of you as a tower of cupcakes and tea was on another table. “Your house is on another level. Must be nice living in a house like this.”

You smirked before trying to substitute x with the equation. “It’s nice because I’m always alone.”

“Why?” He asked, “Johnny seemed so cool. Your grandfather, I met him once, he looks kind.”

You giggled, multiplying both sides of the equation. “I’m not like them.” You whispered. “I’m stupid and I have such a bad temper.” You focused on the numbers in front of you.

“I’m sorry, Y/N,” Yuta whispered, putting down his pen. “That was insensitive of me to say those things and I understand why you hate me.” You lightly glance at him. What’s with the turn of events? You should be apologizing for breaking his glasses. “But I want to be your friend, Y/N.”

“My friend?”

“I don’t have lunch plans. Whenever Taeyong or Johnny leaves you during lunch, I want to sit beside you.” You only stared in curiosity. What is he saying? “Let’s be friends, Y/N.” He held out his hand and you saw your grandfather watching the two of you from afar with a smile on his face. Hastily, you took his hand and shook it, smiling at him. Maybe your grandfather will return your allowance to normal.

The maid went out with a large bowl which made Yuta smile while thanking her. “I brought tteokbokki. Do you want some?” He asked but you shook your head, giving him a disgusted look. “Just try one.” He poked one tteok covered in orange sauce, showing it to you. “Just say ah.”

How weird. But you opened your mouth to taste this almighty tteokbokki he loved. It was so chewy in your mouth, the taste of spiciness and sweetness playing in your mouth. “How was it?”

“Disgusting.”

You didn’t realize how lonely it is to eat alone if not for Yuta. Whenever Taeyong would eat lunch quickly because of council duties or Johnny with his radio show, Yuta would always sit beside you and offer you dessert. He would ask you if you have trouble understanding something in class when you’re seated next to each other in almost all classes you have.

“Maybe they’re dating.” You overheard in class once, female classmates looking at you who just entered the room. “Why would Yuta reject you if not?” She was talking to a girl seated in front, touching her hair.

Another girl came to your table. “Are you and Yuta dating?”

What? You and Yuta? A chuckle escaped your lips. “Of course not, who would fall in love with that nerd?” You saw how the girl seated glared at you followed by a thump beside you. Yuta laid his head on the desk and the girl scrambled back to her seat just as the teacher came. You shrugged.

During lunchtime, Taeyong immediately left for a meeting in the council. But unlike any other day, Yuta didn’t sit beside you. It was weird. He was consistent these past few days. Why would he suddenly change? But once again, you shrugged. It’s not even lonely to sit alone.

You waited the whole afternoon for him to come to your tutor session but he's a no-show which startled you. He never misses a day even if he has part-time jobs to do. And you need him now because tomorrow is your exams in Math, the make and break of your car.

From Taeyong, you found out that he works part-time in a coffee shop near the school. He looked startled when you came in, even ordering a lot since you'll be studying. Yuta only laughed before taking your order.

The cake looks unappetizing after you kept poking your fork in it, annoyed at how you cannot understand the equation. Why are there letters in Math? It should just be numbers. "You're substituting it wrong," Yuta mumbled before placing his tray on the table and taking your extra pencil. He leaned closer to write on your paper but your gaze was on him.

You've been seated next to each other but this is the first time you saw him this close. He's handsome. A boyish charm that you cannot see in anyone else. When he turned to look at you, you blinked in surprise. He's so handsome. His red lips, the high nose, his glassy eyes. "Did you get it?"

A heavy breath followed by a shake of head, to return your focus to the equation and not the image of Yuta. "How did you get this answer?" You asked, looking at the answer which is way different than yours. Are you getting stupider?

He sighed heavily then glanced at his wristwatch. "Wait for me. I'll just finish my shift." And you nodded. That was your goal all along.

But instead of doing some practice exercises, you were focused on Yuta serving drinks. He looks like an invisible person in school but a really charming man outside. Whenever he looks at you, you look away from him and pretend to be busy in your workbook. Why are you so worked up because of him? This is crazy! Yuta is making you crazy.

He's a nerd. He's annoying. He's such a know-it-all. "Yuta doesn't like you, Y/N." you whispered to yourself then gasped when you realized you said it out loud. To your annoyance, Yuta just passed by your side with an empty tray. Did he hear that? You hope not.

It was the fifth equation when Yuta sat in front of you, yawning and stretching his arms. He was done with the job and had some break before he had to go to the gas station for his second part-time job. "You have a lot of jobs." You claimed while he checked your work. "Do you need that much money?"

"I have to pay for my tuition."

"Why would you go to a private academy if you can't even pay for it?"

Yuta put down your workbook, showing the mistakes and where you missed the question. "My parents met in that academy so it means a lot to my mom for me to graduate in the same alma mater as her." They did? Then Yuta might be rich. "My dad is filthy rich. She got pregnant but his parents don't want the child. My mom left him."

"That's just tragic."

Yuta smiled. "You know, it’s the typical rich boy - poor girl love story. It will just end that way." You glanced at him before pursing your lips. "Just try finishing three questions. It's the exams tomorrow, you need rest." Once again, he yawned. "And I have to walk you back home."

You stopped after one equation seeing how he almost fell asleep while waiting for you. He might be tired and you don't want him to be late for the next job. You promised you'll do the remaining exercises at home and show him tomorrow then hailed a cab so he won't have to walk you home. Just to be sure, you promised to message him when you arrive home.

But you never did. Never messaged him, never answered the remaining problems. All that's running in your mind is him. Yuta Nakamoto. He's not bad yet he's not great either. But something about him is piquing your curiosity. Something about him makes you want to be closer to him.

"Aish!" you shouted. You should be studying.

--------

You were surprised when the girls were left inside the room and the guys were brought outside for the test. You cannot copy from Yuta. Maybe it was your grandfather’s plan. Surprisingly, the questions aren’t as hard as you thought they would be. Or maybe you just got smarter. The studying to distract your mind from thinking about Yuta has paid off.

Taeyong sighed heavily while seated in front of you during lunch. “I think I’ll fail the exams.” You glance at him in surprise. Do you have a different question as him? You asked him the first question which you remember clearly and you had a debate on what the right answer is. When you showed him the solution, Taeyong just whined in defeat. “Wow, you’re teaching me Math now.” he claimed before tapping his chin. “Should I get Yuta as a tutor as well?”

“You can’t.” You raised your voice at him. “Yuta is mine.”

Taeyong snickered. “Speaking of him, did you know that he was sleeping while taking the exam?” That took your attention. “I don’t even know if he finished the questions. He’s just out of it.” Now, you’re worried. What happened to him? Why did he just sleep when he’s taking exams?

“How were the exams?” Yuta asked when you met in the library but you only stared at him. “Is it hard?”

You shook your head. “Did you finish your exam?” He chuckled while nodding, asking if it was Taeyong who told you. “You finished everything?”

Again, he nodded. “Don’t worry. I just didn’t get enough sleep last night.” You asked him why but he just smiled. “The exams are now done. We’ll just have to wait if you pass to get your car back.”

You nodded. “You want a ride?”

Yuta shook his head, smiling at you. “I’ll have to resign as your tutor, Y/N.” You stared at him in surprise. Wait, why? “I’ll have to take a new job…”

“My grandfather can pay you.” But Yuta shook his head. “Why do you need that much money anyway? Are you dating someone?” He smirked before leaning his back on the chair. He didn’t say anything but the smile in his eyes was enough proof to know that he is indeed dating someone.

Nakamoto Yuta? The nerd? Someone actually had the nerve to ask him out? Someone actually raced you to ask him out.

You passed by the tteokbokki shop and ordered some of Yuta’s favorite food. It does taste weird, but addicting. You poked one tteok and put it in your mouth, munching on it with a lot of annoyance. Why doesn’t it taste good now? It tastes good when Yuta was feeding you one. You just wasted money on this food.

You were annoyed. At Yuta. At this girl. He seemed friendly with everyone, it’s annoying. You sat beside Taeyong in class which surprised your friend. “You broke up with Yuta?” he teased that made you roll your eyes. “I thought he’s yours.” You stepped on his foot, earning a yelp from him which made the whole class look at the two of you, even Yuta.

When the results came out, you rushed to see if Yuta is still the first-rank student. You were worried the whole time when you found out he slept in class. What if he lost the top rank? He lost his scholarship? You grasped your hands together, wishing that he’ll remain in his spot. When you opened your eyes, in front of the rank one student, you beamed at the sight of his name. Yuta Nakamoto.

He’s still the rank one even if he slept during the exams. Yuta is really amazing.

Your phone rang and you answered it without even looking at the caller ID, “Where are you?” Yuta. “Did you see your rank?” Wait, what? “I don’t think your grandfather…” A crowd of students came and you almost lost your balance if not for someone who caught you. Him. “Hey.”

“Hey,” you called then glanced at your phone. You were just talking to each other. “My rank?”

He smiled. “Twelfth.” You almost ran to the part of the bulletin board that has the top 10-20 rank list. On the twelfth rank is your name, three spots higher than your twin brother and seven spots higher than your bestfriend. You felt a hand on your shoulder and you turned to hug the grinning Yuta. “You did it, Y/N.” He whispered against your ear, “I’m proud of you.”

You lightly glanced at him. The first person who told you that he’s proud of you. Now, you had an answer to yourself on why Yuta is someone you cannot shake off. He is the first person who believed in you.

“I’ll treat you to tteokbokki.” Yuta glanced at you in surprise before you took his hand.

The old woman greeted you and Yuta was surprised when you greeted her back. “We should eat something you like. I’ll treat you.” But you shook your head, licking the sauce from your fingers. “When did you start eating tteokbokki?”

You shrugged then dipped the tteok to the red sauce. “Why were you on the first bulletin board? Do you think you’ll get the top rank?” A light kick from you under the table made him wince.

“I thought you might lose your scholarship.” You claimed before eating tteokbokki again. "You were distracted during the exam so I was worried." He stared at you in surprise before smiling. "Shouldn't you stop all these part-time jobs if you want to keep your scholarship?"

"I lost the gas station gig," he confessed, poking his fork on the tteokbokki. "I'm worried that you didn't come home that night so I skipped work. Johnny told me that you did when I came to your house but I can't sleep that night."

That night? You were thinking about him that night. "Eomma said someone might be thinking about me." Shit! "But I guess I'm just worried about you." He's what? "But don't mind it." He shrugged before eating the tteokbokki.

"You were worried?"

He rolled his eyes, looking at you deadpan. "Of course. What if you fail your exam? Your grandfather's payment will all go to waste." You just munched on the tteokbokki, chewing loudly. "You're enjoying the tteokbokki so much. I thought it's disgusting."

You shook your head, stuffing your mouth with the chewy tteok. "When did I say that?"

Yuta chuckled, wiping your sauce-clad finger with tissue. "You're really charming, aren't you?" You rolled your eyes. Why is he shaking you like this? He's already dating another girl. "Just let me save a little more money before asking you out on a date, hmm?"

What? You choke on the chewy rice cake, coughing at his statement. Ask you out on a date? "I don't want us to be like my parents' story so I need to work hard to at least reach halfway to your world." He munched on the tteokbokki but your eyes remained on him. "Please wait for me before I can take you out officially."

Is that why he resigned as your tutor? How did this turn into this? "How are you so sure that I'll wait for you?"

"You said so yourself, I'm yours." He chuckled and you mentally killed Lee Taeyong. "And I do like you." Shit! He did heard you back in the coffee shop. This is so embarrassing. "Even if you don't like me romantically, just let me take you out on one date."

"Sure." You claimed, "Since you sound so desperate and I'm such a nice girl to reject you."

Yuta chuckled. "Of course you are."

“Yuta.”

“Hmm?”

“Treat me to ice cream after this.”

The guy nodded that made you smirk to yourself. This nerd isn’t so bad at all.

#hotpinklists #yuta #yuta nakamoto #nakamoto yuta #yuta fluff #yuta nakamoto fluff #nakamoto yuta fluff

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tyongxnct · 4 years ago

Text

𝘭𝘰𝘷𝘦 𝘮𝘦 𝘢𝘨𝘢𝘪𝘯 - 𝘔𝘢𝘳𝘬 𝘓𝘦𝘦

pairing: Mark Lee x reader

special guest: Lee Taeyong as your older brother, brief mention of Jaemin, Jeno & Haechan

genre: angst, smut, tiny bit of fluff

warnings: drugs (don’t do drugs kids), addiction, memory loss, being high, mentions of rehab clinic, Mark physically and mentally hurting the reader, reader being unconscious, Mark’s kind of depressed, SMUT,

word count: 8.7k

note: this is based on my imagination, Mark Lee is his own person and everything that happens in my story is pure fiction. I love Mark Lee and this story just popped up in my head and I wanted to write it down.

extra note: didn’t really proofread this, might have grammer and spelling mistakes

A/N: hey! I’m so excited to finally post ‘love me again’! I’m super nervous and I really hope that you have fun while reading this. I had to repost this because it wasn’t showing up in the tags :(

taglist: @luvlyjaemin @silent-potato @markshearts @likelikeines

song rec: courage to change - sia

“Please Mark, we just want the best for you…”, Mark’s mother cried.

“No you don’t! You have no idea what’s the best for me. You decided to move here, and I accepted it because it’s the best for you! You decided to divorce, and I didn’t say anything because, again, it’s the best for you! Now you’re thinking about what’s the best for me? Suddenly my feelings are important?! You two know nothing! Nothing. So don’t stick your noses into my fucking business!”, Mark yelled at his parents, finally letting out what he really thought and felt about his family.

“Son, we know it’s hard for you- “, his father tried to calm his son down.

“No, dad. No you don’t. Don’t act like you thought about me when you decided to leave Canada! I was happy there! And maybe you’d still be married!”, he was so angry and high, but it didn’t help him to ignore his parents- to stay calm, he was furious, and he needed his pills. “I’m leaving.”

Mark left his parents and ran straight to your house. He was high already, but he needed more, he needed his pills. After the fight with his parents, Mark was about to explode, and he did.

Mark knocked on your front door harshly and you opened the door with concern in your eyes. “Mark? Are you alright- “, he pushed you to the side and ran upstairs. “Where the fuck did you put them?!”, Mark’s body was trembling, his eyes red and his pupils wide. “Mark? What are you doing?”, you asked as you watched your boyfriend look through your shelves and closet, everything was a mess, but he didn’t care.

You held his arm to stop him, but he shoved you away. “WHERE THE FUCK ARE THEY (Y/N)?!”, he yelled at you. “I don’t know what you’re talking about Mark. Please calm down… You’re scaring me.”, you were scared and worried. He grabbed both of your wrists and looked at you furiously. “Where are my fucking pills (Y/n)?!”

“Mark are you high again? I thought- “, you started but he interrupted you. “I ASKED YOU A FUCKING QUESTION! ANSWER ME!”. You were more than scared right now, you hoped that you could help him, but Mark was high and that means that he’s not the Mark you’ve known. He’s that monster who hurts you and he didn’t even care.

“I- I flushed them down the toilette…”, you confessed.

You were too scared to look up, you could feel his hands around you tighten, and it hurt. “You did what?”, he asked through gritted teeth.

“I-I’m sorry but I don’t want you to take them- you don’t need them- “, tears were falling down your cheeks.

“WHO THE FUCK DO YOU THINK YOU ARE?! YOU FUCKING BITCH! HOW COULD YOU DO THAT?! HUH?!”, he was hurting you. Mark Lee, the love of your life was hurting you.

“P-Please… I’m sorry- I just wanted to help. I thought I could help you…”

“Help? You wanted to help? Do you have the slightest idea of how much those pills costed me?! Huh?! You know nothing! You’re just a fucking piece of shit. I don’t fucking need you do you hear me?!”, he yelled again.

“Mark- “, you said in pain.

“You’re fucking useless. I don’t want to see you ever again.”, there was no emotion as he talked.

Mark let go of you and left your room, you followed him, he was high, and you were scared to leave him alone even though he just destroyed you with his words.

He really chose drugs over you.

A tiny little voice in the back of your head always told you that this would happen, but you ignored it because you loved him. Your arms hurt, Marks grip was really strong, and it probably would leave bruises. “Mark please don’t leave- please don’t go.”, you ran after him and hugged him from behind before he could walk down the stairs.

“You don’t understand it, do you? You’ll never be enough! Let me fucking go!”, he yelled as he tried to get out of your grip. “No! I know that you don’t mean it! I know that the drugs are taking over and that this is not you talking!”. Mark grabbed your hands and pushed them away, harshly. “Let me go!”, he was screaming again. “No Mark please don’t go… “, you tried to hold him again, but it was useless, he was stronger than you.

You two pulled at each other and before he could stop himself, he pushed you down the stairs. Everything was in slow motion, as he locked eyes with you and saw the fear in your eyes. You closed your eyes and Mark tried to hold you, but he couldn’t reach you, and then you were rolling down the stairs. “NO!”, Mark yelled as he tried to catch you.

You were laying on the floor and you weren’t moving. Mark’s hands were trembling, and tears fell down his cheeks. He looked at you and he didn’t know what to do. Why weren’t you moving? Is that… is that blood?

Mark rushed down the stairs and kneed down. “B-Baby?”, he took your head between his hands and looked at you face. You were unconscious and your forehead was bleeding. “H-Hey… D-Do you hear me? Open your eyes, please open your eyes!”, Mark’s tears landed on your face. “Baby please open your eyes…”, he shook your body, but you didn’t wake up. Mark didn’t know what to do.

Suddenly the front door was opened by your older brother, Taeyong. “I’m home- “, he stopped talking as he saw you in Mark’s arms. “M-Mark?”, Taeyong was scared. “I didn’t mean to! I swear it was an accident! I would never hurt her hyung I didn’t mean anything I said.”, Mark cried as he pulled your body closer. Taeyong came closer and saw you bleeding. “Fuck! Why didn’t you call an ambulance!”, Taeyong yelled at Mark as he called the ambulance before it was too late.

“I love you please open your eyes. I’m so sorry, I need you please don’t leave me! Hyung it was an a-accident. I didn’t mean to!”, Mark cried and cried. Taeyong saw red. Did Mark do that to you? “Are you fucking high again?!”, Taeyong didn’t want to hurt you but he pulled your body to his, taking you away from Mark. “Hyung please I’m sorry…”, Mark’s whole body was trembling. The tears never stopped, and the pain and regret were eating him alive.

The next thing Mark remembered was when he was waiting in front of the emergency room. Taeyong and your mother were also there, your mother still didn’t know what exactly happened. But the way Taeyong looked at Mark, with so much disgust and hate, broke Mark’s heart.

Mark prayed. He prayed for your safety and he promised himself to never do drugs again. It was his fault, he hurt you. Physically and mentally hurt you. He could never forgive himself, you loved him even though he was a fucking drug addict, you were always there for him and now you were in a fucking emergency room.

The doctor finally came out and smiled at your mother. “You don’t have to worry, everything went fine. She’s asleep now, but she’ll be taken to her room.”

“Thank you so much, Doctor Byun.”, you mother was relieved. “And thank you Mark for being with her, I wouldn’t know what had happened If she- “, your mother said. “Stop mom, it was him.”, Taeyong said with anger. “What do you mean?”, she asked. Mark looked down, too ashamed to look your mother in the eyes.

“He pushed her. She fell because of him, She fell because Mark was high and lost his mind. In fact, you’re still high, right?!”, he yelled at him, pushing him with his hands.

Mark didn’t stop Taeyong from doing so.

“Mrs. Lee… I didn’t want that to happen- “

“Leave.”, she just said with a low voice.

Mark fell on his knees, “I’m sorry, please I can’t live without her… please forgive me I love her so much…”, he cried.

“You love her? You think this is love? Mark, I treated you like my own son! I accepted you with open arms because she loved you so much! I defended you in front of your parents and this is how my daughter has to pay? For loving you? Is that her punishment?”, she was crying, your mother felt betrayed.

You always told her, how much you loved Mark and how you helped him through his parent’s divorce, but you never told her about his addiction. You really thought you could help him with that, that he would stop taking them, but in the end you were wrong.

“I know, I know I’m so sorry… I’ll stop I swear I’ll stop!”, Mark couldn’t lose you.

“Do you think I’ll let you near my sister ever again?”, Taeyong said.

“No hyung please please don’t! I’m begging you I need her!”

But Taeyong’s decision was final.

ONE YEAR LATER

Today was Mark’s anniversary. It’s been a whole year since he became clean. It was his own decision to go to a rehab clinic, his parents were more than happy to hear that. After what happened to you, Mark wanted to change. Change his habits, change his lifestyle and just be better, be worthy for your love. Mark was allowed to go home after a year in the rehab clinic, he missed his last year of high school, which he needed to go to again to graduate officially.

You were always on Mark’s mind, the bad memories, and the good ones. He would fall asleep thinking of your pretty smile and wake up crying to your unconscious body. He never talked to you again and he still loved you, no, he loved you even more now. You were his light in the darkness, the reason to become better. Mark wanted to be a better man for you.

“Welcome home honey.”, Mark’s mother hugged her son, tears falling down her cheeks. “Are you sure you are ready to come back home? If you want to we can move- or we can go back to Canada, just tell me how I can make you happy.” Mark and his parents lived in Canada until he was almost 17, they moved to Korea and that’s how you met. They moved into the house across the street and you became friends. Mark first hated Korea, he wanted to go back to Canada, to his friends, and after his parents started fighting all the time, they got divorced. His father moved out and left him. He blamed Korea for his parent’s divorce. Mark was angry. Angry that his parents were getting a divorce, that he left his whole life in Canada, but the only good thing in his life was you. After spending so much time together, sneaking out after midnight, making out in your room or his until one day you two took a step further and had sex. You were each other’s first times and you fell in love, Mark would have left Korea If you weren’t here. Mark’s mind wandered to the first night you had spent with him in his room. The first time he had touched you, the first time you had sex.

Flashback

You were cuddling with Mark on his bed under the covers, you were watching friends on his TV and he was hugging you from behind. Mark and you were together for almost 5 months now, both of you knew that just being friends was something you didn’t want. You could say it was love at first sight for both of you.

Mark kissed your cheek and slowly kissed his way to your neck. He placed wet kisses on your neck and his hand was under your shirt, caressing your skin with his thumb. He stopped kissing you and started sucking and nibbling on your skin. You closed your eyes as you felt Mark so close to you, making you feel drunk on his kisses.

The furthest you and Mark went was making out. He never asked you to do more, he was waiting for you to be ready. Sometimes, you wanted him to go further but it was never the right time, you wanted him to touch you and you wanted to touch him.

You let out a soft moan and turned around, your butt slightly stroking his crotch. You kissed him on the lips, first it was slow and sweet, but he nibbed on your lips and you opened your mouth to give him access. Your tongues were fighting for dominance, his hand was on your butt, softly squeezing it and he pulled you on his lap, his lips never leaving your lips. Mark was laying on the bed with you on top of him, you moved your hips, which made Mark moan. His hands were on your butt, pressing you against his member to feel you better.

You broke your kiss and pulled back to sit on his lap. Your lips red and puffy and Mark was breathing heavily. You looked him straight into the eyes as you put your hands under your shirt to take off your bra. After you took it off, you threw it on the floor and your eyes never left Marks. “Give me your hand.”, you said. Mark slowly gave you his hand and watched you how you put his hand on your boob. Your hand was still on his as you gently squeezed your boob with his hand. “Touch me.”, you whispered.

You could feel Mark getting harder under you. He gulped and looked at you. “A-Are you sure?”, he asked. “Yes. Please touch me.”

Mark licked over his lips as he put his other hand on your other boob, squeezing both of them. His thumb was on your nipple, playing with them. “Can I take off your shirt?”, he asked you now. You just nodded. Mark tossed away your shirt and he gulped again as he saw you half naked on top of him. Mark sat up a little and was laying against his bedrest, your boobs right in front of his face. His face got closer to your breast and you felt his tongue on your nipple. He softly licked your nipple and with his hand, he played with the other one. You moaned, it felt so good having Mark’s mouth and hands on your breasts.

Mark started sucking on your breast, making you moan even more. You were wet and feeling Mark’s hard member against your pussy made you even wetter. “God Mark it feels so good.”, you moaned. His mouth travelled to your collarbones, he sucked and left Marks, he loved it.

“Mark I-I need you, please.”, you cried out. “Are you sure babe?”, he asked you while he flicked your nipple with his fingers.

“Yes yes please just… just fuck me.”

Within a second, Mark turned you so that you were under him now, your boobs bouncing while doing so and making him lick over his lips again.

“Okay babe just tell me to stop If you don’t want me to go further.”, he pecked your lips and smiled at you. You nodded and smiled back, your heart was racing.

Mark took off his shirt and you stared at his exposed body, you couldn’t believe that this guy was you boyfriend. You felt so lucky.

“I need to prepare you a little more baby.”, without telling you how, he slowly took off your sweatpants, leaving you in your panties. Mark kissed your pussy over the fabric of your underwear. “My baby’s so cute.”

You could feel Mark’s finger against your pussy over your underwear, spreading your wetness and drenching your panties. “So wet.”

Mark almost ripped your panties as he took it off, he wanted to taste you so bad. With his hands, he pushed your legs apart, his face right in front of your wet pussy. You could feel his breathe against your wetness and he licked your pussy with kitten licks once and then again and again. You moaned as you felt his tongue. “Shit- Mark- “, his tongue played with your clit, and you thought it couldn’t feel any better, but Mark slowly pushed one finger inside of you. You clenched around his finger and he cursed. “Fuck baby, you’re fucking tight.”, he kissed your pussy and sucked on your clit, after he inserted another finger inside of you, you couldn’t handle it anymore. “Mark it feel so good, I’m gonna cum.”

He fucked you with his fingers faster and his mouth did wonders down there. You hit your first ever climax and you could see the stars. Your grip around the bedsheet tightened and you moaned out. Mark put his hand on your mouth, his mother was still downstairs. “Baby If you keep being so loud my mother is going to hear you.”

You were breathing in and out as you giggled. He held his fingers, which were inside of you a couple seconds ago, to your mouth and looked at you. “Suck.”, you did as he told you, slowly sucking his fingers and tasting yourself.

Mark pulled his pants and boxers down, your mouth wide open as you saw his cock straight as straight as possible and precum on his tip. He was about to get a condom from his nightstand but then he could feel your hand around his cock. He hissed at that feeling. “Fuck- babe- “, your hand slowly pumped his cock and Mark didn’t know what to do. He wanted you to suck his dick, he wanted to be inside of you, and he wanted you to keep pumping him.

It seems like you were going to fullfill all of his wishes.

Mark felt your tongue on the tip of his cock. You licked him like a lollipop and sucked on his tip. Slowly, you didn’t want to hurt him, you put his cock inside of your mouth, Mark moaned loudly and closed his eyes for a second but opened them right after to watch you sucking his dick.

You bobbed your head up and down and it didn’t take Mark long to cum. “Babe I’m gonna cum, fuck you’re so good at this, fuck- “, he exploded inside of your mouth, and you swallowed every drip.

“You have no idea how hot you are- fuck, I’m gonna fuck you so good.”, Mark pressed you down on the mattress.

With his knees, he pushed your legs apart again, now to enter you with his cock. He pulled the condom down and placed his member at your entrance. “Are you ready baby?”, he asked you again.

“I’m ready- I love you.”

“I love you so much.”, he said as he slowly pressed his tip against your entrance. Mark slowly pushed his cock inside of your cunt and your gripped the bedsheets tightly. “I’ll stay like this a little.”, he didn’t move until you assured him that he could.

Pain slowly became pleasure, and you were almost begging Mark to go faster. “Please it feels so good.”

Mark rammed his cock inside of your pussy, and he kissed you, because you were moaning so loud, he was scared that the whole neighborhood could hear you.

“Mark I’m gonna- fuck- I’m gonna cum, god!”

“Me too babe, I’m gonna cum so hard.”, Mark’s hand travelled to your clit, circling it with his thumb and with that, you reached your climax. You clenched around Mark’s dick and you were so tight already, that he also came. He closed both of your mouths as he kissed you and he was still inside of you until you calmed down.

“Thank you Mark, I love you.”

“I love you, too. Forever.”

Mark started doing drugs with his friends Jeno, Jaemin and Donghyuck, it was harmless at first, just one or two joints, but behind your back he sometimes did coke. When you found out, he promised you that it was just a one-time thing, just to try it. But whenever you went to a party together, or just hung out, he did it over and over again. You didn’t need any drugs to be happy- after your father’s death, your brother, mother, and Mark helped you go through the pain. You wanted to help Mark, too, but he told you that there’s no pain to be erased. He was doing drugs ‘Just for fun’. You tried to stop him, you told him that he didn’t need any of this, but Mark never listened, he just pushed you away and stopped seeing you as often as before. When he started to take the pills, you did everything to stop him, flushing the pills down the toilette, hide his coke from him, tried to stop him from drinking, but you all know how that ended.

“Mom, I’m alright, and no, I want to stay here, I changed. Everything’s going to be alright.”, he hugged his mother back as he looked out of the window, staring at you room across the street.

Mark was in his room, nothing changed, he unpacked his back and he saw the picture of you next to his bed on his nightstand. He held the picture in his hand and looked at your pretty smile. His sight became blurry and he tried to stop the tears. No more crying, he believes that everything’s going to be perfect. He needs a little more time until he was ready to face you, your mother and brother.

First day of his last year in high school. Mark was beyond nervous and scared. You were probably in college now, on your way to become a teacher. It was always your dream to teach children, you adored them, and you always imagined a life with Mark as the father of your children.

Mark was really early on his first day, he was sitting in the classroom, next to the window. Memories flooded his mind of you two in high school. How you skipped class just to go to McDonald’s, how you went to the rooftop to make out and how you waited for him after, well, after he smoked joints with his friends behind the school.

The bell rang and everyone entered the class, what Mark didn’t except to see was you, entering the class while talking to a girl. His world stopped turning. Why were you here? Did you see him already? What were you talking about and why did you smile like that?

You saw someone staring at you, but you didn’t pay attention to that, you sat down and listened to your teacher.

“Good morning, everyone. I have an announcement to make. We have two new students in class. Mark and (Y/n). They both missed a year, please tread them nicely.”

Mark’s palms were sweaty, he couldn’t focus. You were here, here with him, but why?

After class ended, you packed your things and left the classroom with that girl you talked to when you entered. Mark needed to do something, he just had to.

He ran after you and called your name. “(Y/n)! Wait!”

You turned around, your new friend said goodbye and left you there with Mark. “Yes?”, you asked confused.

Mark stuttered “H-Hi. I-It’s been a while.. “

“Uhm hey? Sorry but, do I know you?”, you asked, very confused by his words.

Mark stopped breathing, were you going to act as if you didn’t know him? His heart was beating against his chest and he felt like collapsing.

He didn’t say anything, and you talked again. “I’m sorry but I lost my memory, did we go to high school together last year?”, Mark was speechless, you had lost your memory?

“Y-You lost your memory? H-How If I may ask?”

“I fell down the stairs, it’s a little embarrassing, I’m a little clumsy. I’ve spent a couple months in hospital last year, that’s why I am here again. And you?”, you thought making friends would be a great idea.

“O-Oh I’m sorry…”, Mark stuttered, he didn’t know what to do. Should he tell you that it was his fault? Should he tell you that he’s your boyfr- your ex-boyfriend?

“It’s alright, It just sucks that I can’t remember my life, like the most important time of my teenage years, you know? So, were we friends? Did you know me?”, you were too nice, he didn’t deserve that.

“Uhm… no, I mean we were in the same class, and, uh, you were always nice to everyone and you were always smiling and stuff…”, he blushed.

“Do you want to go to McDonald’s with me? I know we just kind of met but I want to hear more about last year, about everything I forgot, you don’t have to, of course.”, you didn’t know why, but your heart beats faster as you talked to that guy you didn’t even remember.

“Sure, yeah I’d love to.”, spending time with you? Mark would never say no to that.

You were sitting next to Mark as he told you stories about your past.

“One day, Mr. Jung send you to detention because you were eating a happy meal in the middle of class.”, he told you and you laughed for the first time since forever.

“No way!”

“You really did that, it was hilarious. And oh, we sneaked out before your detention ended to eat another happy meal- “, he stopped talking as he told you about a memory you shared. “We? I thought we weren’t close.”, you asked.

“I mean you, I-I just said we because we were just eating a happy meal.”, he tried to safe himself.

And that’s how your relationship with Mark Lee started again. You didn’t know that he was your neighbor, you didn’t know that he was your ex-boyfriend and the reason for your memory loss.

Mark and you got closer in the last couple of months, nobody knew that though, not your family and not his, you slowly but deeply fell in love with him and since he loved you already, it didn’t take you long to skip class and go to the roof to make out.

Mark wanted to tell you everything, he wanted to tell you that you have a history together, but he was scared, scared of losing you forever.

“Babe?”, he said.

“Yeah?”, you mumbled, eyes closed. Your head was on his thigh as he caressed your hair softly.

“I love you.”, he confessed.

You opened your eyes immediately and looked at him with big round eyes. “I love you.”, he said again.

“I love you too.”, you got up and sat next to him. You held his hand as you locked eyes. “Can I kiss you?”, he asked softly.

You nodded. You didn’t even know If you had your first kiss, or even a boyfriend, but it felt right. Everything about Mark felt right.

“Before I met you, I was really sad that I couldn’t remember anything, but If I hadn’t lost my memory, we’d never be like this- together. I’m glad that I fell.”

“No!”, he said, raising his voice a little. “I mean, don’t say that. You lost your memory and I’m just.. me. I don’t know I just- I’m also happy that I met you.”, he smiled at you and then he kissed your forehead. “I’m going to fill you pretty head with the greatest memories ever.”

Mark never brought you home, he would always go another way, wait and then he’d go home, when it was dark outside. His mother was a little worried, and after 3 months, your family still didn’t know that he was back.

You’ve been officially dating for a whole month now. It was your one-month anniversary and Mark asked you out. It was a simple date, a dinner and then going to the movies. You didn’t tell your mother that you were going on a date, you told her that you’d meet your new friends from school.

Mark was leaning against his car as you arrived at the restaurant- looking absolutely pretty in your black dress.

“Baby you look gorgeous.”, he pecked your lips. “Sorry that I couldn’t pick you up.”

“It’s alright. My brother drove me.”

His heart stopped beating.

“Y-your brother? I-Is he here?”, he tried to hide behind you. “Don’t worry babe, he let me out on the other side of the street. He didn’t see you.”, you smiled.

Mark was relieved. “Okay, good. I wouldn’t want him to see me with his, uhm, little sister.”

“I would also prefer that you two meet after I tell him that you exist.”, you smiled at him. He shuddered. “You’re going to tell him about us?”

“Of course, you’re my boyfriend and he’s my brother, I don’t want to keep you as a secret.”

Mark gulped, his hands were sweaty, and he was scared.

You entered the restaurant, a little Italian restaurant that looked really pretty. “Wow Mark this place is so great.”, you changed the topic and Mark wasn’t even really listening. His heartbeat louder than your voice. “It kinda feels familiar.”, maybe it was because your first official date with Mark was also here.

You also sat down at your usual place, which you, of course, didn’t know. “Do you think I was here before?”, you asked him as your eyes scanned the restaurant. “I don’t know.. maybe.”

“Are you ready to order?”, the waiter asked and without even glancing at the menu you ordered. “I’d like to have pasta with chicken.”

Mark looked at you, he was confused. What are the odds that you order the same meal you always ordered here. He ordered the pizza he also always ordered, hoping it was just coincidence.

After almost 30 minutes, your orders came. Suddenly, your head hurt. Images of this place rushed through your head. You were eating your Pasta, but you weren’t alone, there was someone with you, but you couldn’t recognize that person.

“Shit what was that.”, you held your head and closed your eyes. “Are you alright babe?”, Mark held your hand and looked at you with worry in his eyes. “Yeah it’s just- This place, I was here before with someone and I was eating exactly the same thing- but I don’t really know. It felt like a déjà vu.”

Mark’s heart was about to fall out of his chest. “M-Maybe it was your brother.”

“Probably.”, you smiled.

After your dinner and the movie you watched (which you couldn’t even really watch because Mark was so close and his hand was holding yours), you left and drove to a perfect spot to talk and, well, make out.

It started with a simple kiss, but now you were sitting on his lap on the backseat as you kissed him, his hands all over your body. You were so close to him, he was losing his mind. Your dress couldn’t even cover your body. His hands on your thighs pulling you closer as his tongue slipped into your mouth.

“M-Mark.”, you moaned as his lips now sucked on your neck.

You could feel him getting harder and harder and you wanted him, you wanted more, but you didn’t want to lose your virginity on the backseat of a car.

“M-Mark, fuck, wait- “, and he stopped before his hand could reach your panties. “Y-Yeah? Am I going too fast?”, he asked, breathing heavily.

“N-No, it’s just- I’m still a virgin.”, you said shyly.

“No- oh wait- “, he stopped talking as soon as he remembered that you didn’t remember. “Y-You’re right, I’m sorry, I got carried away.”, he blushed. After a whole year without touching you- feeling you, his mind was fuzzy. “It’s alright- I just want to do it, uhm, in a bed or something…”, you were still sitting on his lap, and when you moved your body, Mark moaned. “Y-You- Stop moving like this.”

“Oh yeah right sorry.”, how embarrassing, you thought.

“I’ll take you home now okay baby? Did you have fun tonight?”, he asked. It was late and completely dark outside, he’d never let you go home alone.

“It was an amazing day, thank you.”, you pecked his lips one last time before you moved to the front seat with him.

As Mark drove you home, he remembered that one last time you had sex. It wasn’t a good memory, maybe even one of the worst.

Flashback

“Mark? Where the hell were you? It’s fucking 4 am in the morning!”

Mark forgot that you were coming over, he was with his friends, doing things you didn’t want him to do and now he had to deal with you.

You noticed that he was drunk and high again. “Mark do you want to kill yourself? Did you lose your mind?”, Mark ignored you as he took off his shirt to change to his pajama. You were standing next to him as you tried to get answers.

“I really don’t want to talk to you right now, my head’s about to explode.”, Mark took off his pants as he ignored your presence.

“You don’t want to talk to me? I’m sorry but I texted you and called you hundred times. You could at least tell me where you were, or with whom and when you were coming home. Or just text me that you were safe. I was fucking worried!”, the last couple weeks were always like this, you talking and him ignoring you.

Mark jumped on his bed, getting angrier every passing second. “I told you to shut up.”

“No, I won’t shut up. You are acting like a stupid asshole. You need to stop, Mark please I’m begging you, stop this.”, you weren’t angry anymore, you were worried and sad.

“It’s none of your business.”, he said coldly, his world was spinning but he didn’t care.

“It is. I am your girlfriend, and I don’t want my boyfriend to kill himself because of his stupid friend and stupid drugs.”

You were standing in front of Mark and now he was looking up to you. “Right. You’re my girlfriend.”, he gripped your wrists and pulled you to him. He changed your positions, you were now under him.

“M-Mark.”

“If you are my girlfriend I can do this right?”, he kissed you on the lips, his cold hand under your shirt. You kissed him back, it felt like you didn’t kiss Mark for years. You had missed it, even If he just ignored the fact that you were worried.

He kissed his way down to you neck. You moaned as you felt his hand on your boob. “Let me take this off, alright babe?”, he asked you. You nodded.

Mark took off your bra and shirt and tossed it away. He kissed your boobs and sucked on your nipples. You felt yourself getting wetter and Mark was hard, even though he was still high and drunk. “Gonna fuck you, okay baby?”, he was suddenly sweet and nice to you. You were happy that he still asked you If you were okay with having sex. “Yes please.”, you moaned.

He took off your jeans and your panties, going straight to you pussy with his fingers and tongue. Without hesitating he pushed two fingers inside of you. “Fuck.”, it hurt a little, but it was alright. Mark sucked on your clit and he was so hard that he stopped before you came. “M-Mark fuck I was about to cum.”, he didn’t care. He looked for a condom in his nightstand and then you felt him against you entrance. You were still really tight, and you thought he’d be slow, but he rammed his cock inside of you.

And he didn’t stop, he penetrated your pussy with hard thrusts and tears formed in the corner of your eyes. “M-Mark… too much- “, but Mark was in trance, he pulled out, you thought he’d be slower now, but he just turned your around so that you were on all four. He gripped your hips, probably leaving bruises.

Again, Mark pushed his cock deep inside of your pussy, his thrusts were hard and fast, his hand was on your clit, circling it and you came. “Mark, stop- it hurts, please.”, you cried as Mark overstimulated you. With his other hand he grabbed your boob and finally released his seeds into the condom.

Your body arched, the way Mark fucked you so roughly was too much for you. You could barely move your legs as you wiped away your tears.

Mark was breathing heavily as he threw the condom into the trashcan.

You hid your body under his blanket. Mark slowly realized how you told him to stop, and how he didn’t listen.

Mark put on his boxers as he went to his bathroom to get a towel. “Let me clean you up.”, he asked slowly. “No, I-I can do it myself.”

He only nodded as he looked at you with heavy eyes. “I’m sorry that I didn’t stop, I didn’t want to hurt you.”, he was about to cry as he saw the pain in your eyes. “I just, I thought you’d like it, I don’t know why I did that.”, you knew why. The drugs, his friends. Everything, just everything around him changed him and made him rougher. Maybe even you.

“Just forget it, Mark.”, you told him, but you meant yourself. You tried to forget that he hurt you like that. “I’m going home.”

He remembered that day, no matter how much he tried to forget it. He was disgusted and angry at himself. He slowly turned to a monster and even If you tried to save him, he was too blind.

Mark wore a cap in the car, you didn’t question why, he stopped on the other side of your house, on his side of the street. The lights in his house were on, even though it was past midnight. “You know, I have no idea who lives in that house, my brother told me that a woman lives there and that’s it. And I never met her, well, as far as I can remember.”

“Maybe it’s better that way, who knows.”

“You’re right.”, you looked at him. “I love you Mark.”

“I love you more, (Y/n). You have no idea how much I love you.”, before he started crying, you kissed his cheek and went home. Mark couldn’t go home yet. He drove two streets further. He cried and cried, he didn’t know If lying to you was better than telling you the truth, the ugly truth.

You were in the cafeteria eating your sandwich with Mark as one of your old teachers approached you. She was your math teacher last year but obviously you didn’t remember but Mark did.

“Hello, you two, it’s nice to see you still together after last year. How are you feeling (Y/n)? You’ve spent so much time in hospital last year, we all missed you.”, she said.

You were confused. What did she mean with still together?

“Uhm, I’m much better now, I think Mrs.- “, you had no idea who that woman in front of you was. “Oh right I’m sorry- Mrs. Kim. I was your math teacher last year.”, Mrs. Kim smiled at you two. You were so confused that you didn’t notice Mark being nervous next to you. He was scared that Mrs. Kim would say more about your relationship with him.

“So do you remember Mark?”, she asked.

Mark’s eyes widened, he chocked on his juice and you did not understand anything.

“No, not really.”, you said with a sad smile.

“Oh, but look, you still found each other again.”

Before Mrs. Kim could say anything more, the bell rang, and Mark could finally breath again.

“Mrs. Kim we really have to go to class now.”, Mark grabbed your hand and pulled you with him.

“Mark what did she mean?”, you asked him, but he ignored you. “Mark? Can you let go?”, Mark’s grip tightened, and it started hurting.

He pulled you to the rooftop, ignoring the fact that you indeed had to go to class. “Mark you’re hurting me.”, you finally said, and he immediately let go.

“W-what? I’m sorry I didn’t want to! I’m sorry I didn’t want to hurt you please forgive me.”, Mark hugged you tightly and apologized. He hated to hear that he hurt you.

“Hey, calm down. It’s alright. But please tell me what Mrs. Kim was talking about.”, you hugged him back to assure him that it was alright.

“I don’t know, I guess she talked about how we ended in the same class again or something. I really don’t know.” he said as he placed a sweet little kiss on your neck.

“Oh, okay.”

Mark kissed his way from your neck up to your mouth. He kissed you slowly, his hand on your cheek slowly stroking your skin with his thumb. He entered your mouth with his tongue and the slow kiss turned to a heavy make-out session.

You were so lost in the kiss that you didn’t notice the raindrops slowly falling. It started raining heavily and as you kissed Mark, your head hurt again. Your lips left his and you closed your eyes, holding your head tightly.

“Shit shit Mark it hurts.”, the images In your head felt familiar, the way you kissed Mark on the rooftop of your school under the rain felt so familiar.

It felt familiar because It happened already.

Flashback

“Mark are you crazy? It’s raining!”, you laughed at your boyfriend who insisted to skip class to go to the rooftop.

“What about it? It’s just rain babe.”, Mark was standing in the middle of the rooftop, completely wet. He looked up to the sky, eyes closed and a big smile on his face.

“Your gonna get sick!”, but Mark didn’t care.

“Come here! Let’s get sick together and we can stay at home and cuddle!”, you laughed at his comment.

“Fuck it.”, you ran to Mark and hugged him tightly. “It’s so cold!”, you were freezing.

“I’ll keep you warm.”, and then Mark placed his lips on yours.

You really felt warmer, with his arms around you and his soft lips on yours. You made out under the rain until it stopped, and the dark clouds were gone, and the sun shined again. “Look a rainbow! Make a wish!”, you said as you looked up to the sky.

“My wish has already come true.”, you didn’t notice the way he looked at you. But after a couple months he stopped looking at you like you were the most important thing in his life. Mark slowly replaced you with drugs.

Bit by bit, your memories came back, but you weren’t sure If your mind was playing with you or If the memories actually happened.

Two weeks later, you were smiling so hard because of a sweet text Mark had sent you and Taeyong caught you. “Why are you smiling like that?”, he asked you. You mother was out, grocery shopping, and your older brother wanted to hang out with you, help you to remember a couple things.

“Alright, I’ll tell you. But don’t do that older brother cringe shit, okay?”, you smiled brightly. “Okay, I promise.”

“I, uhm, I have a boyfriend.”, you confessed.

“You? A boyfriend?”, he asked mockingly. “Shut up! I’m serious.”, you laughed. “Alright alright. So, tell me about him.”

“Well, just like me he’s repeating the last school year because he missed it. He’s super cute and so adorable, he’s like a little puppy you’d want to cuddle forever. He’s born August 2nd and he’s a Leo.”

“What’s his name?”, your brother asked casually as he ate chips. “His name’s Mark, he lived in Canada, that’s why he missed- “

“What the fuck are you saying?!”, Taeyong yelled.

“W-What?”, his sudden outburst surprised you. “His name’s M-Mark.”

“You’ve got to be fucking kidding me!”, Taeyong yelled again. “Yong, you’re scaring me. What’s wrong?”

“You stay here, you hear me?!”, you nodded even though you were really confused. Taeyong ran straight out of the house as you watched him through the window, running across the street and hammering on the door of your mysterious neighbor.

“Open the door!”, Taeyong yelled.

You were too curious to just stay here, and you didn’t understand anything that’s why you ignored Taeyong order and ran after him.

“What is going on- Taeyong?”, a woman, your mother’s age, opened the door with a shocked expression.

“He’s here isn’t he?! When did he come back and why didn’t you tell us?! I told you not to let him close to my sister ever again- “, he yelled but someone interrupted him, someone you didn’t except to see there.

“Mom what’s going- H-hyung?”, Mark almost dropped his phone as he saw Taeyong’s angry face, he could almost see the smoke coming out of his ears. Mark’s eyes travelled behind Taeyong, meeting yours.

“I told you to stay away from her! I told you to leave her the fuck alone!”, Taeyong screamed.

“M-Mark? W-What are you doing in… in that house?”, you were so confused, scared and your head started hurting.

“I-I can explain- ““No! You can’t explain shit! Didn’t I tell you to stay away from her? Are you fucking addicted to hurting her? She lost her memory because of you!”, Taeyong referred to Mark’s addiction before. Everything started to make sense, the déjà vu’s you had whenever you were with Mark, his fear of meeting your brother, his overprotectiveness and shit, even Mrs. Kim was so obvious about your connection with Mark.

“Hyung please just listen to me, I changed- I’m not the same anymore. I’m a better person now- “

“A better person?! You’re using her! Again! You’re using her memory loss! You’ll never be- “

“(Y/n)!”, Mark yelled as he saw you collapsing on the floor with blood coming out of your nose. Your head hurt so much like never before, seeing Mark in that house, that woman and just everything right now was too much. Why did they know each other? Scenarios of Mark, Taeyong and you played in your head. How you hung out together, how you talked to Taeyong about Mark and the memory of you talking to Mark’s mom about Mark’s addiction. It was too much.

You woke up with a heavy headache. Taeyong sitting right next to you and your mother on the other side. “W-Where’s Mark.”, was the first thing you asked. “I’m calling the doctor.”, Taeyong said coldly.

“M-Mom? My head hurts.”, you said. Your mother placed a kiss on your forehead. “Everything will be alright, honey.”

You fell asleep again, too exhausted because of the memories that came back. You dreamed of moments with Mark, moments that felt so real, moments that actually happened but you couldn’t remember before. Mark and you going to McDonald’s after midnight. Mark and you making out in your bedroom. Mark’s hands all over your body as you two had sex. Mark yelling at you, throwing things on the floor and just hurting you. Mark being high and fighting with someone who wanted to dance with you at a party. Many memories of you crying and him yelling. All your memories came back, many puzzle pieces finally together.

You remembered everything.

Mark played with you, again. He broke your heart, again, and you had lost your memory because of him.

You didn’t tell anyone that your memories came back. You wanted to talk to Mark about everything first, you wanted to hear him tell you the truth and that’s why you texted him to meet you at the rooftop.

“I was so worried.” as soon as Mark arrived, he hugged you from behind. “Are you alright, princess? I’m sorry that I couldn’t visit- “, you interrupted him “You can stop the act now, Mark.”

“W-What do you mean?”, he knew exactly what you were talking about.

“Were you ever going to tell me?”, you asked, trying to hold in your tears.

“Babe- “

“I asked you a question!”, you raised your voice. “I wanted to. I swear I wanted to tell you, but I was so scared.”

You pushed his arms away and turned to him. “I can remember. Everything.”

“I-It was an accident, I love you. I always loved you.”, he cried.

“Not as much as you loved your drugs.”, you were tired, your head was arching.

“No that’s not true… I-I changed… I went to rehab I’m clean… I love you”, he couldn’t even look you in the eyes. “And all you needed was to push me down the stairs to become clean?”, you allowed your tears to fall down no, it hurt too much to hold them in.

“I’m so sorry, I love you.”

“You told me that I’m useless. You told me that you never wanted to see me again, you told me that I’m a piece of shit. If so, why did you make me fall in love with you again?”, your voice cold as ice and your eyes empty.

“I didn’t mean any of it. I was high and… and angry and just stupid, I promise you I- “, Mark fell on his knees, holding onto your legs. “I didn’t mean it, I didn’t mean it.”, he repeated his words over and over again. “I didn’t mean it, please forgive me. Please I love you so much. I can’t live without you.”

“I don’t even know you.”

“You do. You know me! I’m Mark, the Mark who loves you forever until his last breath, I’d die for you, I’m the Mark you always wanted me to be. I love you (Y/n).”

“I-I can’t trust you.”, it hurt so much.

“Yes, you can, just give me a chance. The last months, they were perfect. You fell In love with me twice, we are destined to be together. Please just give me one last chance to make you happy.”, Mark was back on his feet, holding your face in his hands, slowly stroking your tears away with his thumbs.

“I-I don’t know, it’s too much for me right now.”

“Please, please give me another chance, let me show you how much you mean to me and how much I love you. I love you so much.”, Mark kissed your tears away. “I love everything about you. I love your nose, I love your beautiful eyes and I love the way you laugh. I love the way you want to help everyone. You’re so kind, sweet, you have a big heart. I want to hear you laugh until my last day on this planet. I don’t want to see you cry or hurt, I want to make you happy- I just want to spend the rest of my life with you. I’m so thankful that we moved here, I can’t imagine my life without you.”

You knew that Mark’s your soulmate, you fell in love with him twice and all good things come in threes, right?

You kissed him on the lips like never before, so many emotions were going through your bodies and connected like your lips. Pain, longing, yearning, hurt, passion, desire & bittersweet love.

“I still need time, this is just still too much for me to handle. The memories- it feels like I’m with two different Mark’s here right now. I know that you changed, but still, it feels like I just went through the pain all over again.”, you said as you broke off the kiss.

“I understand that, and you can have as much time as you want. I’ll wait for you, no matter what.”, Mark smiled at you and you could feel that he was genuine.

It took a few months until Taeyong accepted the fact that you and Mark were trying again. He still didn’t allow him in the house or any physical contact next to him. Mark proved you that he really changed, he always made sure to make you happy and feel loved. Not a single day without Your mothers started talking again and a heartbreaking, but sweet restart happened. Mark and you finished high school and fortunately you got accepted to the same college. You moved in together and lived the life you always dreamed of.

“Everything’s perfect, but do you know what’s missing?”, Mark asked as you snuggled up to him under the blanket.

“What?”, you placed a sweet little kiss on his jaw.

“Babies.”

#mark lee angst #nct scenarios #nct angst #nct smut #nct127 #mark lee x you #mark lee smut #mark lee x reader #nct imagines #nct 127 angst #nct127 smut #superm #nct2020 #kpop fics #kpop scenarios #kpop imagines

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chickenmcstucky · 4 years ago

Text

meet me in the hallway

Bucky Barnes x reader

Light angst, fluff || 5.1k

Your bad day gets worse when your less-than-friendly teammate catches you having a breakdown over your shitty morning.

A/N: So this is the second work I’m posting, but actually the first I wrote. Inspired by my own bad morning, lol. Nothing like a little cathartic writing. I’d love feedback!

You had to physically stop your whole body from tapping along with your impatient foot. If you didn’t get out of here and back to your sunny balcony soon, you might actually die of frustration. Sure, the whole sunny day stretched out in front of you, waiting, but it was the principle of the thing. Wasting sun is sacrilege to you. Still, the young woman behind the counter was only doing her job as she gathered your prescription and searched for the coupon you asked for. Why was healthcare so expensive?

As your body cooled from the workout you’d finished just before hopping over to the pharmacy, your thoughts wandered to the lazy hours of writing, tanning, and listening to music you had planned for the day. The team was between missions and somehow the stars aligned and your time off brought gorgeous weather and some much-needed you time. The thought relaxed you as the woman finally rang up your total; as you swiped your card you put your Starbucks order into the app and prepared to finally get home and enjoy your day.

That is, until the card machine gave a deep chirp and the cashier informed you your card wasn’t covering the entire purchase. You balked - how could this happen? The insurance debit was loaded up for the year, ready for any medical purchases. It rarely ran out so early in the year, and it was just April! Your brain scrambled to make sense of it. Had the account rules changed and some of your purchase didn’t qualify? No, that couldn’t be it, you’d done this same process just a few weeks ago.

Your cheeks bloomed with heat as you realized the declined card was the only one you’d brought with you, convinced it would be a quick errand and seeing no reason to bring your whole wallet for the short trip down the street from the Tower. Fuck. And there were people behind you; you shuddered to imagine what they might be thinking of you in your sweaty workout clothes as you stammered to the cashier you’d have to come back. Just fucking great. You felt your good mood at the prospect of a sunny day slipping as you left the store as quickly as you could, trying to save a little face.

***

Making your way around the construction - why did they need to close the entire sidewalk? - you hastily headed back to the Tower to grab your wallet from your personal quarters, wondering all the way how this could happen. Why do the simple things always have to go wrong? Rationally, you knew this wasn’t a big deal. You would just pay the balance out of pocket and deal with the insurance later. But it was embarrassing and annoying and just plain inconvenient. Sure, you had the time and the money to spare, but why couldn’t things just work how they’re meant to? Your swirling thoughts brought you through the private lobby of the Tower and to the elevators that led to the personal floors; angrily jamming the button for your floor, you whipped out your phone to check the balance on the insurance card.

Your jaw literally dropped as your eyes caught sight of the balance. There was more than enough to cover the charge at the store! Now you were really upset. Jesus, why was this happening to you? Stupid, simple nature of the occurrence aside, you felt tears of frustration welling to the surface as you berated yourself internally. Why did you have to be lazy and only take the one card? If you’d just taken your whole wallet and been prepared, you could’ve saved yourself so much humiliation and frustration. And time. You’d brought it on yourself, you always did. Your frustration with the pharmacy and your anger at the insurance company quickly turned to annoyance at yourself and your lackadaisical ways. Why were you like this?

You shoved yourself further into the corner of the elevator, letting your head fall back against the wall as it ascended to the personal floors. You could feel your face was still ripe with embarrassment, your throat thick with unshed tears. God, why did everything have to make you cry? Embarrassment, anger, and frustration brought tears to your eyes more often than not, while sadness rarely wet your eyes. Of course, no one else knew that and you felt like a dramatic cry-baby every time you got teary-eyed in front of your teammates and friends. You were an Avenger, dammit! As the elevator signaled your floor and the doors whooshed open, you could only hope the walk to your room would be deserted. You wanted to make a quick exit before anyone saw your despair.

***

The hope was short-lived. You walked out of the elevator with your gaze on the floor, and smack into a well-muscled chest.

“Oh, sorry,” you mumbled, trying to scoot around the body without making eye contact.

“Walk much?” and if that wasn’t the last voice you wanted to hear. Of course, your card gets declined and you get humiliated to tears, and not only could the universe not provide you a painless return to your apartment, it also brought you face to face with Bucky Barnes. You were hardly in the mood to deal with him on a good day, let alone today. He rarely acknowledged your existence except to quip mockery at you, it seemed. At first you thought he was just like that, but you soon realized he was perfectly funny and friendly with the others, if quiet. So it was something about you; what, you didn’t know. And you’d accepted it. You didn’t need him to like you, honestly. His attitude towards you might have brought you to tearful rages sometimes, but only in the quiet solace of your room where you could freely wonder why he despised you so. His devilish good looks and killer smile didn’t help. Avoiding him was the best strategy.

“Can you just not?” you snapped at him as he blocked your way down the hallway, apparently hellbent on making sure you knew he was making fun of you. As if you weren’t painfully aware of how he felt about you. It didn’t help your girlish crush, the little voice in the back of your head always telling you maybe he was mean because he liked you. Bullshit.

“Whoa there, no need to get in a twist doll. Was just havin’ a little fun is all. What’s got you so worked up?” you heard the teasing lilt to his voice but the question forced your eyes to his anyways. God, the asshole was smirking, those gorgeous blue eyes glinting with mirth. Horrified, you felt tears welling up in your eyes again because the universe liked laughing at you, apparently.

“God Bucky do you ever fuck off? Honestly,” your voice broke on the last word as tears threatened their way out of your glassy eyes. “Just leave me alone, why do you always have to be so mean? What did I ever do to you?” the words tumbled out before you could stop them, your anger and hurt getting the better of you.

Realizing your outburst, you floundered in the hallway as Bucky looked at you with a confusing mixture of shock and hurt on his face. Did he really have the audacity to be upset with you? After the way he’s treated you, so often making jokes at your expense? In the back of your head, you knew the jokes weren’t that bad, nothing more than you’d say in a harmless rib against your other teammates. But they were your friends; Bucky was a menace. Not knowing what else to say as the shocked silence stretched on, you averted your eyes from his now stony face and tried to will your tears - and your anger - away so you could get what you came for, finish your errand, and try to salvage the rest of your day. How did things go so wrong so fast?

You didn’t notice as Bucky’s expression morphed from hurt to cocky as he prepared to deliver his next blow.

“Oh, woke up on the wrong side of the bed this morning I see, sweetheart.” His smiling tone grated on your nerves - of course he was still making fun of you even after you yelled at him for just that. He couldn’t just be nice, could he?

“At least I sleep in a bed,” you spat, meeting his eyes once more. You knew it was a low blow, immediately regretting it as a pained expression flitted across his face. You sighed - only you could end up feeling guilty for dishing his own mockery back at him after months of his unanswered jibes. “Sorry,” you muttered, your eyes falling closed in shame and frustration at your inability to contain your emotions.

“Yea, okay, I probably deserved that,” you stopped yourself from mocking his ‘probably,’ refusing to dig a deeper hole for yourself, though the eye-roll was unavoidable. “I guess I’ll get out of your way then,” Bucky acquiesced, his voice quieter now.

Out of the corner of your eye, you saw his flesh arm reach out as if to pat your shoulder, but he jerked it away as if he hadn’t meant it to move. He hesitated as he half-turned away; why wasn’t he leaving, and since when did Bucky get so unsure of himself? Usually he moved with a sure swagger that riled you right up knowing he thought so highly of himself. Of course, you knew he probably didn’t do it on purpose; your inner feelings about someone had always colored your observations of them and Bucky was no exception - sometimes you manufactured your dislike, but it was inescapable. He infuriated you.

Your head swirled with anger, leftover humiliation, shame at your words to Bucky, and confusion at why he was still in the fucking hallway. You stuttered, mouth moving without your permission but no words forming.

Bucky glanced back at you, and your downturned yet clearly turmoiled face brought an unseen soft, caring look to his chiseled face. It hurt him to see you upset, though you were unaware. He didn’t know why his words to you always came out so biting. He knew how to act around the rest of the team but for some reason you brought out his inner turmoil and apparently his coping mechanism was to just make fun of you. Was he protecting himself? But what did his feelings matter when he had so clearly hurt you? His heart broke realizing that your lack of response to his mocking over the weeks wasn’t good-natured but instead was silent hurt. Fuck, he’d fucked up.

“Honey, why don’t you tell me what’s wrong?” the softness in his voice was so foreign and surprising to you that you jerked your head up, meeting his eyes in shock. “Maybe…I can help,” he gestured awkwardly.

You must’ve pulled a face at that, because his head immediately rolled back as he quipped out, “what, is it so surprising I can be nice?”

“Well…yeah,” you half-whispered, your mouth once more speaking without your mind’s permission. Suddenly you couldn’t meet his eyes anymore, your gaze falling anywhere but his soft blues. Once again you felt shame flood through you, even though you had told the truth - it was shocking to see Bucky offer kindness, at least to you. Had you somehow misread him so horribly? Fuck, there were the tears of frustration again. As if you weren’t embarrassed enough, this time a few actually fell, carving their way down your burning cheeks as your breath hitched.

“Shit. Okay, please don’t cry sweet girl, I’m sorry. I know I’m an asshole. I - I don’t -,” he cut off, not knowing how to explain. At his saccharine tone and the pet name - this time caressed with gentleness rather than thrown with cocky disdain - you broke as tears fell down in rivulets, your body wracking with silent sobs. Why were you such a mess today? Sure, you wore your emotions on your sleeve, but even you could control yourself more than this. Bucky’s sudden softness had caught you off guard. Where on earth was it coming from?

Unsure what to do as you exposed your raw nerves to him like this, you wrapped your arms around yourself as Bucky twitched in front of you, hesitating before once more reaching out to you, with purpose this time. He tugged at your shoulders until you were pressed into his chest, hiding your face in his faded blue henley. You felt the tension bleed out of you as he slowly brought his arms around you, his flesh hand running up and down your back in comfort.

“Hey there, it’s alright,” he cooed quietly, “it’s okay. We can figure it out. I’m sorry sweetheart, I’m sorry.” It was tearing him apart, seeing you cry. You’d never reacted to his jokes like that, at least not to his face. He wondered how often you held your tears in until you escaped to your room, and his heart fractured. He hated who he turned into around you. He’d fix it, he had to. A pretty girl like you shouldn’t cry over a stupid guy like him.

You finally hiccuped to a stop, the tears no longer falling as his sweet ministrations calmed you down. Before more embarrassment over your breakdown could set in, Bucky grasped your shoulders and set you away from him so he could look you in your eyes.

“Now, you tell me what’s going on. I’ll fix it,” his hands gripped you tighter with his last words, assuring you. His sudden change of heart, while shocking, was strangely believable. You trusted his conviction that he wanted to help you.

Sighing shakily, you sniffled and began to explain. “It’s stupid really, Bucky. You don’t gotta worry,” you deflected, walls going back up even though you longed for his comfort, his friendship that you hadn’t allowed yourself to crave.

“Little darlin, it ain’t nothing if it makes you this upset. Please talk to me,” his soft eyes pleaded with you, the kindness floating in their depths piercing straight to your heart. Your resolve - built less from stubbornness now and more from niggling shame at letting him see to your core - crumbled.

“It was just gonna be a quick run to the pharmacy - I needed a refill - and then I was gonna come back here and sit in the sun and try to just enjoy my time off alone but my fucking card got fucking declined even though it has enough money and God, Buck, it was humiliating. And then I came back to get my wallet and -,” you cut yourself off, unsure, not wanting to accuse Bucky of making you cry. He had, but it was the whole situation that had really gotten you going. You didn’t want to point the finger at him when he was being nice for once.

Your sudden silence clued Bucky in to the rest of the story quickly enough, though he took sweet pause at the nickname that had slipped from your pretty mouth. He had the grace to look a bit ashamed, but continued on. “Okay, that’s not so bad then, huh? You can just go back and finish up, it’s still early in the day, plenty of time to relax,” Bucky assured you, thinking he’d figured this out pretty easily.

“Easy for you to say,” you grumbled. “You weren’t the one humiliated in front of multiple people thinking you couldn’t pay. I mean I basically ran out of there, Bucky. Why am I so - UGHHH.”

He very nearly laughed, covering himself by clearing his throat - now that you were talking to him and his dumb brain was letting him be nice to you, he wasn’t about to ruin things by upsetting you again. He wasn’t going to push you away. He found it endearing how open you were with your emotions, wishing he could be more like you some days when his melancholy got the best of him. Maybe then he wouldn’t have to suffer alone.

“I see…well I’m real sorry you had to face that. I’ve been there a time or two, it’s no fun. But it ain’t bad as all that - they weren’t paying you that much attention. It’s New York City, everyone is so self-absorbed I bet they didn’t even notice. That’s not to say you don’t deserve attention ‘cause you do - I mean - that’s not - …yea,” he trailed off, cutting his rambling before he really embarrassed himself. He met your eyes sheepishly, surprised to see a small smile there. His heart soared knowing he was the one to put it there, even at the cost of some embarrassment himself.

“Well, I don’t have much of a choice, I need the prescription today. And - fuck! Whyyyyyyy,” you groaned, your face scrunching as you whined. And damn if that wasn’t just the cutest thing, Bucky couldn’t help but think.

The lilting, light tone returned to his voice as he gently laughed at your groaning. “What is it now, then?”

You moaned, blood rushing to your face as you admitted the silly annoyance, “I forgot my drink at Starbucks. I ordered it while I was in line at the pharmacy, I was gonna grab it on my way back. God, it’ll be warm now - or gone. Icing on the cake, just what I needed,” you sighed, resigned to the wasted money.

Bucky smiled genially as he reached over to ruffle your hair, tucking a stray lock behind your ear with surprising softness. You weren’t sure you’d ever gotten this close to his metal appendage. Something deep inside you fluttered at the prospect of more gentle touches, exploring each other and - now where the hell did that come from? You were beginning to think this morning’s commotion had somehow addled your brain. You shook your head at yourself, emptying those thoughts and Bucky chuckled. This time, though, it felt like he was laughing with you rather than at you. That was….refreshing. Nice, even. You yearned to make him laugh more.

“Alright. It’s no big deal,” Bucky calmly spoke, again determined to bring that smile back to your face and maybe, just maybe, get to know you as a friend. Something about how you’d opened up to him gave him hope he hadn’t ruined things beyond repair with his boyish taunting. He’d treat you like you deserved, be a good man to you, if he could take this chance.

“How about this - you go back, get that paid for, and I’ll go get your drink. If it’s warm or gone, I’ll make them make you a new one. Then you can get on with your day, and I’ll, uh…get out of your hair, I guess,” Bucky trailed off, suddenly unsure. Would this truce be short lived, lasting only until you resolved your dilemma? He guessed he’d deserve it if so, but he couldn’t help but hope you’d stick around him. He’d just have to give it his best shot.

“That’s - wow Buck, you don’t have to go to all that trouble. It’s nothing, silly really, I told you,” you scuffed your feet along the floor, suddenly feeling burdensome. A fearful voice in the back of your head wondered if you were just giving him more ammunition for future joking.

“It’s no trouble darlin’. It’s…it’s the least I can do for ya. I guess I know it’s a miracle you even talk to me. I don’t know why I’m so..” he cut off again, still not sure how to explain without exposing his inner thoughts. “Now, what’s the order?”

“Oh, uhm…,” you balked, disbelieving at what you were about to have to say to Bucky. “It’s, uh, called a Pink Drink?” you let the name escape your lips uncertainly, waiting for the inevitable mocking. But to your surprise, the sweetest smile graced Bucky’s face, lighting up his eyes.

“Well, if that ain’t just adorable,” he gently joked to you as you gave a grudging smile. “One Pink Drink it is, honey.”

And wow, these sudden sweet names were getting to you. You felt your heart flutter as he winked at you before sending you on your way down the hall to your room, finally about to clean up the mess you’d made this morning. He even waited for you to get your wallet, escorting you back to the elevator and riding down to street level with you.

“Go on then,” he encouraged, seeing you hesitate again. “I’ll meet you back up there,” he nodded back towards the Tower.

You smiled softly, half at him and half at the ground you were once more staring at, before making your way back to the pharmacy.

***

You supposed the second trip was actually rather painless. Not a big deal at all, just as Bucky had assured you. Perhaps you could salvage your afternoon indeed, let the sun burn the frustration and embarrassment out of you. Though something told you your newfound confusion at Bucky’s kindness would soon take hold. You still couldn’t believe the gentleness with which he handled you, the kind softness of his words as he comforted you - was this really the same man who spared few words for you but for jokes and laughter at your expense? Something had…shifted. You pushed the uneasy, yet warm feeling away. No time to dissect that right now, you scolded yourself as you headed up the elevator once more, this time for good. You were determined to put this morning behind you and enjoy your rare sunny day off.

As you stepped off the elevator to head to your room, you absently wondered where Bucky was. Surely he had made it back before you - the Starbucks was much closer than the pharmacy. Yet he was nowhere to be found. You weren’t sure if you were bothered or relieved about that. Bothered that he might have abandoned his mission to help you, relieved you might not have to face him again. At least before, his unkindness was certain. You had learned to deal with it. Now, this new kind, gentle Bucky? Just what in the hell were you supposed to do with that? You didn’t know what to think.

***

These swirling thoughts stuck with you as you walked into your room; you were so distracted by your own internal monologue that the open door didn’t phase you, nor did the breeze coming in from the now ajar balcony door catch your eye. Absentmindedly you flitted around the room, putting away your wallet and goods. When the breeze coming in from the balcony caught a lock of your hair, blowing it across your face, you froze. Why was the balcony door open? You certainly hadn’t left it that way.

Peering out to investigate, you stopped right in your tracks at the sight that met your eyes. Your lounge chair was covered in one of your beach towels, bluetooth speaker already gently playing your sunshine playlist. And there on the table was your Pink Drink. You were flabbergasted - had Bucky come in and done this? For…you? The mere thought of him taking the time to set this up sent your heart soaring. But where was he? Perhaps your earlier thoughts were right - his sudden kindness had run out, and he was tired of being your friend already. Somehow, you couldn’t quite believe that to be the truth.

Determined not to let this chance go, because now that you’d had a taste of Bucky’s sweet side you would be damned if you couldn’t sink your teeth in, you set off in search of the brooding man. Wandering down the hallway, you steeled your resolve - you were going to thank him, and you weren’t going to get flustered this time. Maybe this could be a new start for both of you. Maybe he was more than you thought.

The door to Bucky’s room was open, and you heard the soft notes of Billie Holiday float into the corridor. You pushed your hesitation aside and walked in, not seeing him anywhere until your gaze fell upon a brunette head just peaking over the top of a chair on his balcony. Walking towards the glinting sunlight outside, you lightly knocked on the doorjamb to alert him to your presence, knowing he had probably heard you come in anyways.

“Hey,” he exclaimed softly, rolling his head to the side to glance at you. He seemed less…pompous than earlier, at least, but less energetic too. Like something had popped his bubble.

You stepped gingerly out onto the balcony, as if you were wary of startling him. As if you even could. Suddenly you were lost for words, the atmosphere awkward in a soft way. Unspoken words flitted between the two of you, both lost as to how to approach the new dynamic that crash landed in your laps earlier.

“Uh,” you started, lapsing into a giggle. “Thanks for the uh, for my drink. And stuff,” you finished uneasily, letting out a sharp laugh at your inability to articulate your appreciation for his earlier kindness. You still weren’t sure if there would be more where that came from, or if you had simply taken him aback with your tears and his sudden gentility was a stress reaction. You steeled yourself to be laughed out of his room, just in case.

“My pleasure, sweet girl,” he sighed, gazing out over the city. “Least I could do, really.”

“I - Bucky,” you heaved a deep breath and continued, “thank you, you really didn’t have to be so….sweet.”

He didn’t respond immediately and you wondered if you’d taken it too far, but before you could get too worried he spoke again.

“Darlin,” he started, the term of endearment dripping from his lips sweet like honey, “I owe ya a real apology. I never wanted to be unkind to you, but it felt like I couldn’t stop it. Whenever I see you I just…forget myself. It’s like I don’t know how to act, you scare the decency right outta me.”

Was this really happening? You gaped, “wha - Bucky, what?”

He held up a hand to stop you as he kept speaking, his words further shocking you yet sending a warm buzz up your spine at the same time. “I’m sorry I’ve treated you the way I have. I like joking with people but it’s not right that it hurt you and I kept on. I’m sorry I made ya cry. It ain’t an excuse but girl, you really terrify me. In a good way, I think, but I didn’t let myself see that. I hope it ain’t too late, you know…to be friendly?”

You were sure he could see the astonishment clear as day on your face, and you watched as his own expression contorted with unease. It wasn’t hard to see this admission was uncomfortable for him. But why? Because it pained him to admit he was wrong, or because…he was as afraid of rejection as you were?

“It’s not!” you blurted before you realized you had even spoken. ‘“It’s not too late.”

Bucky looked at you with a small smile, hope blooming in his eyes. You couldn’t believe your shit day had turned into this - who would have ever thought Bucky Barnes, the asshole next door, could be nice. Could apologize, even.

An idea struck you and before you could lose your confidence, you spoke, “Do you wanna come sit out with me?”

You left the invitation hanging desperately in the air as you shifted from one foot to the other, hoping he would accept.

“Only if you let me have some of that drink,” he laughed as he got up and ushered you back inside, through to your own room and balcony. You smiled to yourself but stayed quiet as you sat down on your chair; Bucky got comfortable in the chair next to you as the tune of a love song permeated the thick, warm air around you.

Silently grasping your drink, you handed it to him. It felt like a peace offering.

His rosy lips wrapping around the edge of the cup mesmerized you, a rivulet of condensation dripping from the cup down his arm as he swallowed.

His low laugh snapped you out of your reverie. “Well?” you inquired.

His lips stretched into a smile, “sweet drink. Perfect for a sweet girl,” a husky tone to his voice as he handed the drink back to you, your mouth agape once more.

A laugh ripped its way out of your throat, loud and boisterous and before you knew it you gasped out, “who are you and what have you done with Bucky? So charming, jesus.”

“Guess I have my moments. Gonna try harder to have them around you,” he let out a breathy laugh, still unsure how to act around you. But this felt better, lighter. For the first time in a while, he felt at ease within himself.

“I think I’d like that,” you spoke surely. Then a streak of courage hit you and you went on, “maybe next time, I could go with you? I mean, you could go with me - together, uh..”

Bucky smiled then, wide, “you askin’ me on a date there honey?” he cooed, joking but in kindness.

This time, you were ready to dish it back. “If you think one drink and some sweet talking is enough to get a date with me you got another thing coming, Barnes!” you jibed. “I was merely offering to return the favor,” you turned your face up with false haughtiness, but your laughter and the way you averted your eyes told him the truth. Turning over a new leaf and all that, he guessed.

“Well, I suppose that’s a start,” he laughed, hope bubbling in his chest. “That’s a start.”

As you watched the sun reach its midday summit, your mind wandered. What a day it had been already. You never thought you’d share such emotion with Bucky, that he’d be capable of handling it, or even sharing some in return. Maybe there was some truth to his words - you wouldn’t let the pain of his mocking slide so easily, but you felt he deserved the second chance he was craving. You deserved it, too.

You stole a quiet glance at him, your cheeks warming as you realize he’d been staring at you. He looked away quickly, but not before you caught a blush spreading across his cheeks. Perhaps, you thought, bad mornings weren’t so awful if they ended with afternoons like this.

***

231 notes · View notes

pies-writes-and-more · 4 years ago

Text

a broken heart

Word Count: 2,543

Warnings: sad bean vibes today guys, sorry! Breakup angst and jealousy.

Pairing: Tsukishima Kei x Fem!Reader, Bokuto Kōtarō x Fem!Reader

A/N: I have no clue what got into me but we’re writing some sad shit tonight apparently. For all my broken-hearted beans out there, I promise I’ll write some fluff sooner or later! <3 Thank you to @thisnoodlewritesao3 for reading some of this for me and giving me the motivation to keep writing - sorry you’ll probably wake up to these feels (please don’t read if you’re not in a good head space, yall!)

Song inspo: When I Was Your Man by Bruno Mars (thank you @haikyuutothetop and @tobi-momo for bringing it up cause I totally forgot to add it 😂)

Haikyuu Masterlist

It was like life was stabbing him every few seconds, reminding him that you were no longer there.

Tsukishima woke up thinking that maybe everything would be okay today, pulled his headphones on while he got ready because he was refusing to be alone with his thoughts. But when his music shuffled, why did the first song to play have to be the song you had deemed your song? Why could he remember the melody so perfectly sung in your voice? The way you looked whenever the song came on on the radio.

He remembered how happy you looked that very first day, how you had dressed yourself up just to hang out with him, and how this song was playing in a playlist he had made you and was the one in the background when he had kissed you for the first time.

The melody made Tsukishima’s lips tingle. He wanted nothing more than to kiss you right now.

Yamaguchi’s half smiles didn’t help either. When he joined Tsukishima on his way to school, he just patted Tsukishima on the back like he normally did and danced around the question, “How are you?”

It’s not like Tsukishima would be honest. He’d just shrug and say, “Fine,” and hope Yamaguchi would fill the silence with some story or something dumb.

He knew Yamaguchi was still friends with you, that the two of you talked. He’d never ask for him to stop because if anything, Tsukishima could find out how you were doing without even asking.

“She’s okay,” Yamaguchi told him with a small smile, as if that was supposed to be comforting. Did he think that’s what Tsukishima wanted to hear? That you were doing okay? That you weren’t waking up in tears every night like he was? Part of him wanted to be happy that you were okay, because he always secretly knew you’d be better off without him. But he wanted to be angry at you, he wanted to blame you for the fact that he cried more in the last few weeks than he had ever before in his life.

Tsukishima just kept his eyes forward, like he didn’t even hear his best friend but Yamaguchi had seen the flicker of sadness in him. He had learned a few weeks into the breakup not to mention your name around Tsukishima, but not because the quiet boy asked him to. It was because every time he heard your name, Yamaguchi would watch as his shoulders tensed, how his fists would clench in annoyance. He missed you, but who would ever catch Tsukishima Kei admitting that?

Yamaguchi would never tell him, but he always wondered that maybe if Tsukishima had admitted his feelings more to you, maybe you’d still be here.

Tsukishima would never say it out loud, but he was already thinking the same thing.

It hadn’t taken long for it to feel like the whole world knew about your breakup. People whispered in the hallways, more than they usually did when Tsukishima’s cold aura came by. Your name fluttered into his ears through gossipy voices and the blond boy just wanted to tell everyone to shut up.

Why did your name have to follow him around? Why did people have to look at him like he had done something so wrong? It’s not like he had broken up with you.

“I just can’t do this anymore, Tsukishima, I’m sorry,” you had whispered to him, shifting uncomfortably in your stance. “It just feels like you don’t even want me around most of the time and I feel like I’m constantly bugging you.”

“I never said you were bugging me, did I?” he huffed. Looking back, Tsukishima wished he could’ve bit down on his tongue and cut the sass in half. You had winced at his bitter tone. It was the look on your face that made him realize you weren’t just being insecure or awkward again. You were genuinely trying to leave.

“I want to be with someone who actually wants me around… and I don’t think that’s how we are…” the words left your lips so easily but Tsukishima knew what you meant. You meant that’s not how he was.

“You’re the one who’s leaving,” Tsukishima spat out angrily, glaring at you as you picked up your things slowly, tears in your eyes. Why wouldn’t you look at him? Why wouldn’t you look him in the eyes and tell him why you were leaving?

But when you finally met his gaze, you were already at the door, glancing back at him with sorrowful eyes. Why did you look like you were mourning something? Had it really been that bad? Being with him? “You’re the one not stopping me,” you had said in a voice barely louder than a whisper. You waited there for a moment, as if proving your point to him as Tsukishima just stood there with his fists clenched.

He wanted to lurch forward and hold you to him, beg you to stay even though he wasn’t sure what words could possibly describe how he was feeling. He didn’t know how to explain why he was always so angry or emotionless with you. He didn’t hate you - how was he supposed to say that? He didn’t want you to go but you were already leaving. How pathetic of him would he be if he begged you to stay? What was the point of begging if you were already choosing to go?

The memory was still fresh in Tsukishima’s mind. He couldn’t help but think about it every moment of the day, even still. Some part of him had hoped you would come back - would show up at his house with tears in your eyes and beg him to show some sort of emotions so you could stay. He would if you had come. But he knew that you probably expected him to do the same.

But even if he did, would you accept it? Would you accept his apology? Or was he considered a lost cause?

Tsukishima’s ears perked up, hearing a familiar melodious laughter as he walked through campus for lunch. His eyes searched around and saw you with your friends, giggles erupting from your lips. He wondered how you were still able to laugh with your friends, how your smile still managed to brighten up the courtyard during your lunch. How were you so happy? How come you had never smiled like that with him?

Before he could stop himself, Tsukishima felt himself walking towards you. He needed to see you up close - needed to make sure that smile was genuine because it couldn’t possibly be right? How were you so okay when he was so not?

“Tsukki!” Yamaguchi’s hand grabbed Tsukishima’s arm before he could cause a scene, pulling him back from his zoned in thoughts. “You’re not gonna want to do that,” Yamaguchi insisted, meeting Tsukishima’s glare head on. “Trust me okay?”

Tsukishima watched him for a moment, his lips pursing into a thin line, “How am I supposed to apologize and get her back if I don’t see her?”

Yamaguchi’s gaze faltered this time and that’s when Tsukishima knew something was going on. Yamaguchi knew something. Something he wasn’t telling his best friend.

“What is it?” Tsukishima asked quietly, pulling his arm from Yamaguchi’s grip.

Yamaguchi started to say something but the most annoying voice you could ever hear was louder.

“Y/N! My angel! I did it! I ran all the way here just like I promised!”

Tsukishima’s eyes widened just slightly as he watched as Bokuto Kōtarō seemed to run over to Tsukishima’s girlfriend no, ex girlfriend.

“He didn’t, he’s just exaggerating,” Akaashi’s voice came next, trailing behind Bokuto with a look on his face that clearly stated he didn’t want to be here.

You were laughing awkwardly, a look in your eyes telling Tsukishima you really hadn’t expected them. So why were they here in the middle of a school day?

Tsukishima scoffed a bit, wanting to turn back and run away, bury his nose into his studies and pretend like it was fine. But it wasn’t fine. Because Bokuto wrapped you up in his arms and whirled you around in a hug that showed everyone nearby exactly how he felt about you.

“B-Boktuo, put me down!” You insisted through giggles, desperately trying to avoid everyone from staring at you but it was far too late.

“I’m just excited to see you,” Bokuto grinned, nodding towards his best friend. “Akaashi is too!”

Akaashi just gave a nod and continued his conversation with one of your friends, as Bokuto patted your head lovingly, “I told you I’d come see you today, didn’t I?”

“You weren’t supposed to skip school for it, you idiot!” You laughed, shaking your head.

“I’ll go back, promise! I just wanted to see you,” Bokuto grinned.

The smile on your face was wider than before and yet Tsukishima still didn’t understand why. How were you still smiling? How were you standing there with everyone assuming that you were dating Bokuto and not dismissing all the quiet rumours that were starting?

Tsukishima finally found it in himself to walk away, Yamaguchi calling after him and following his footsteps. You had left him and replaced him with a top ace. Of course you had. It didn’t matter how much Tsukishima practiced or didn’t practice. He was never going to be better than him, and he was never going to get you back either.

Over the next few weeks, Tsukishima would hear about everything that Bokuto was and did. He saw posts on your Instagram, which he still glanced at every now and then, and even stole Yamaguchi’s phone sometimes to see your Snapchat stories.

You had everything you ever wanted now from the looks of it. Bokuto would come see you every weekend, even if it meant coming right after volleyball practice. He’d crash on your living room couch or on your floor and according to your Twitter, your mom loved him already.

He brought you flowers one time, completely out of the blue, and there it was on your Instagram. Bokuto with a huge smile on his face and holding them out to you. Tsukishima could just imagine the glow in your skin as you accepted them, that shy smile that you had given to him, what felt like a million years ago.

Yamaguchi watched as his friend tortured himself with your social media, glancing at it with eyes said that he didn’t care, but his bad mood was just getting worse every day. Everyone on the volleyball team knew it too, and even the somewhat-empty-headed players like Hinata and Noya didn’t say anything.

“They’re not dating you know,” Yamaguchi spoke up after a while as the two of them walked home. Tsukishima shoved his phone back in his pocket, as if Yamaguchi hadn’t just caught him glancing at his text message history with you to see if you had randomly messaged him. “I think Bokuto just really likes her but she told me she’s not ready.”

Tsukishima wanted to tell him he didn’t care, but those words just twisted in his mouth and he couldn’t even make a sound. He did care. How could he not? He had loved you, even if he was absolute shit at showing you.

“He’ll be good for her,” was all Tsukishima said after a moment, staring out to the distance and trying not to note the surprise on Yamaguchi’s face. He wanted to mean it. He wanted to be happy for you because your smile was all that mattered to him. But... he couldn’t stop from thinking... from wishing... that your smile was at him instead.

As if the gods themselves had decided to torture Tsukishima some more that day, as the two friends turned into Coach’s shop to grab some snacks, there he was standing right in front of them.

Bokuto Kōtarō with his idiotic smile and a handful of snacks and ramen packets that he was plopping onto the counter in front of Coach Ukai, “Just these please!”

Ukai glanced uncomfortably at Tsukishima and Yamaguchi, clearing his throat as he started to check Bokuto’s items out.

Tsukishima’s ears were going pink - of course even the Coach knew. He wanted to leave right then and there, pretend like he hadn’t even come here in the first place.

But before he could turn on his heels, Bokuto caught his eye. The two of them shared an awkward look, Yamaguchi trying to walk towards the back of the store so that Tsukishima could follow him.

“Look man-” Bokuto started stiffly, his chest puffing out just slightly as he tried to come up with the words.

“It’s the wrong kind,” Tsukishima interrupted, a cold glare shooting right into Bokuto’s eyes.

“Sorry?”

“The ramen.” Tsukishima walked over to the nearby stand and pulled out two different flavours, dropping them onto the counter. “Y/N doesn’t like that one. You grabbed the wrong one.”

He should’ve just walked away then and there, avoided any more confrontational conversations but he didn’t. The two of them just stared at each other, Bokuto looking back and forth between Tsukishima and the packets of ramen.

“Boys,” Ukai’s voice was low, as if warning them not to start a scuffle in his shop.

After a moment, Bokuto just gave Tsukishima a smile, patting him on the shoulder, “Thanks.”

Tsukishima still stood there, even as Bokuto paid for his items (minus the ramen packets that you didn’t like) and as Ukai handed him his bag. The Fukurōdani boy gave a small wave to Ukai and started to head out, the tension just starting to lift.

“She likes flowers,” Tsukishima’s voice cut through the air like a knife, words thudding into existence. “She says it makes her feel like someone is thinking of her without an occasion. And she likes to have her hand held in crowds because sometimes she gets nervous around so many people. She’s not going to text you a lot at first because she’s going to think she’s clingy… and that’s my fault. I made her think she was clingy. But she’s not. She just wants to know that you’re thinking of her and that you’re honest with her.” Tsukishima’s fists were clenched so tightly, his nails were starting to sting into his palms, “And she likes to go dancing. It doesn’t really matter where but she likes to dance to music.”

You could’ve heard a fly buzzing around, or a pin dropping against the floor with how quiet it got. Bokuto’s back was still to Tsukishima, tensing slightly the more that he talked but never fully turning around.

“Slow dance with her okay? Because… I never did with her and she always wanted me to. Do everything I didn’t do with her, alright?” Tsukishima’s voice was louder now, as if desperately pleading with Bokuto.

There was another pause in the air and Bokuto only turned his head slightly to just say, “You got it,” before disappearing.

Tsukishima didn’t realize it until after he had gone that there were tears in his eyes. He thought about every time he saw flowers and thought about giving them to you and how stupid he had thought the idea was. He remembered every moment that he didn’t respond back to you right away when he had the chance to, or when he asked you why you sent him so many things on social media. The picture of that sadness growing in your eyes would haunt him for a while.

Worst of all, was all those times you two had sat in the middle of a field, just listening to music and humming to yourselves. How often you had looked around to find no one around and begged him to come dance with you. He had thought it was stupid. How childish, he had thought.

But right now, he’d give anything to slow dance with you.

Guess it’s true, Tsukishima thought to himself as he rushed home, ignoring Yamaguchi calling for him. He wiped his face aggressively, not even caring how crooked his glasses were getting as more tears streamed down his face. You never really realize what you have until you lose it.

haikyuu taglist (let me know if you’d like to join :))

@al0ehas @aurumk @devilkittymusic @thisnoodlewritesao3 @satan-ruler-of-hells @trashy-simp @jeppiet @tobi-momo @darkvadeeer @haikyuutothetop @livy384 @babyshoyo @jesssobs

#tsukishima x you #tsukishima kei x reader #tsukishima kei #haikyuu x reader #bokuto x reader #bokuto kotaro x reader #haikyuu!!#angsty fics #im so sorry yall lol #i really dont know what got into me #but here we are haha #i hope you guys like it

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jq37 · 3 years ago

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The Report Card – Fantasy High: The Seven Ep 1

Meet the Maidens

It is back to school baby, both for D20 and, funnily enough, myself as well (something I hope will give me more time to get the recaps out in a timely manner fingers crossed).

As I’m sure you all know if you’re reading this, this season of D20 takes place in the world of Fantasy High but with a focus on Aguefort’s OTHER most badass adventuring party who we’ve so far only seen on the sidelines, the Seven Maidens! You’ll recall, they’re made up of the seven girls who were captured by Penelope and co. to fulfill the prophecy that would let Kalvaxus rule the world freshman year. And, in fact, we start with a flashback to freshman year so let’s just jump right in.

We find our seven soon-to-be heroines chained in the Red Waste in front of what we know and they will shortly learn in Kalvaxus’ lair--a crucial part of the prophecy that was the subject of season 1. The structure of this episode is sort of like 2 rounds of introductions--first here with the maidens meeting each other for the first time and then again at home with their families a la the first episode of Freshman Year so I’ll be glossing over certain things that we’ll get to later in their second intros.

Anyway, the first two to wake up are Danielle (aka Yelle: half-elf, druid) and Zelda (satyr, barbarian as we know). Zelda is her usual, adorably nervous self in contrast to Yelle who is no less sweet but in a super chill, granola girl, fuck the system kind of way. We actually learn that Penelope had her on board with the plan for a hot second when she thought it was just “overthrow the government” but didn’t know about the “install a just as bad if not worse evil dragon overlord” part.

Ostentatia (dwarf, cleric) wakes up next and is, as Izzy--her player--describes her “Jersey Trash.”, all blinged up with jewelry that she secretly made herself and didn’t buy. She wakes up pissed and ready to bodyslam Aelwyn which are both extremely valid emotions as much as I love Aelwyn. By the way, all of the girls recognize each other as girls who go to their school but none of them are really friends though they very quickly start throwing the label around because that’s what you do when you wake up chained with 6 other people in front of a dragon’s lair in a place called the Red Waste.

Katja (half-orc, fighter) wakes up and immediately cares about nothing more than the status of her beloved horse, Cinnamon and declares that if Cinnamon dies, she’ll die. This is a fantasy world so Ostentatia and Danielle are a little concerned that might literally be true via a soul bond or something but it’s more that Katja just really, really loves that horse. Danielle tries to cast a spell to locate the horse but can’t get the somatic components quite right with her hands manacled.

They all get into a discussion about the fact that everyone for a fact knows they’re all virgins now (you know, the real issue here) and what exactly counts as “virginity” for the purposes of this prophecy (like, does second or third base count or only traditional home runs using the baseball analogy) when Penny wakes up and is, just so excited to be here gang! Penny (halfling, rogue), who is one of the girls who has been kidnapped the longest, is adorably and honestly a bit concerningly exuberant to be surrounded by all these new friends, totally disregarding the fact that they are clearly in some deep shit. Zelda mentions that Riz, her old babysitee, knows they’re kidnapped and is trying to help and she lights up.

Next up is Sam (water genasi, sorc/bard) who immediately starts thrashing to get out of her chains and, when she can’t get free, is devastated by the fact that her ex betrayed her (!?) Finally Antiope (human fighter/ranger) wakes up all out of sorts having started her growth spurt while in the crystal and also having needed to pee right before she went in which becomes a problem all over herself (which Sam helpfully cantrips away).

With all of them awake, the stones they’re chained to light up and some of Kalvaxus’ minions (the ones who tied them up) show up to do minion speechifying. Yelle does a horrifying Animorph style morph into a waterbear (a tardigrade if you wanna get all Bio 101) to get out of her bonds but then Sam who has a serious one track mind re: getting out of here (Correct) and has exactly zero patience for these guys casts Tidal Wave and just knocks them off the cliff. Yelle frees Ostentatia who frees everyone else with Animate Object on their chains. Hands free, Yelle also casts Locate Animal and tells a very pleased Katja that Cinnamon is doing a full Spirit: Stallion of the Cimarron down the highway searching for her.

The girls decide to explore the cave which has recently had most of its treasure moved (it’s currently in the gym for the Prompocolypse fight which is currently happening). Penny and Sam (who are in insanely different emotional places) find all these broken mirrors which Sam takes as a cue that they need to GTFO (which is what she was already doing) and Penny thinks would make a great material for friendship bracelet making which she starts doing as Sam physically pulls her away. Sam hears someone doing post-cry sniffles and is like, “Not today Satan,” still trying to leave. However, Penny sees that there is one mirror left and, inside, sees a ethereal looking human with flowing, preternatural, black hair who senses their presence and asks if Penny is someone named Anima. She asks for their names though she declines to give hers (hmm, feels very fae) and the girls give the fake names of Kelly and Cecelia which the figure says she will guard and not misuse. The figure says she is looking for her sisters (who she says when Penny asks are at Aguefort which...hmmmmm) and, all of a sudden, Sam and Penny are having a bad feeling about those mirror shards.

They ask her a question about the mirror and she gets really aggro when it’s referred to as “her” mirror as she would very much like to be out of it. The woman really wants to get out and says she can give them lots of power if they help. Sam pulls out her compact Mirror of the Past (magic item that does basically what you’d expect--shows you info from something’s past though in a cryptic way usually) to try and get some info on this thing and just barely avoids losing her mind in the process because this thing is ancient. Like eons old. She also learns the woman’s name (or maybe title): The Ending of Things (will be calling her Ending for now).

Yikes!

Right around now the other girls come in and can see at the angle they’re looking at her at the woman in the mirror is Not Really A Person and Antiope points at her and reflexively casts a ranger sense spell to try and clock its weaknesses and stuff but Ending grabs the spell energy like a lasso and tries to drag her into the mirror. She does however find out that she’s stacked with hella resistances (total immunity to necrotic damage and non-maj weapons, resistance to most elemental damage, and more).

Sam briefly considers using Lightning Lure to pull Antiope back before deciding on a much less ouchy Counterspell. Unfortunately, it’s not strong enough and now she’s being pulled in by her spell energy too. Yelle casts Erupting Earth which has some pros and cons.

Pros: Antiope and Sam are saved! Yay!

Cons: The mirror breaks and whatever was in it is fully freed. Not yay!

Shortly after (but not before Penny gives everyone their new friendship bracelets), someone calls into the cave looking for them--it’s Fig’s mom, Sandra-Lynn (with new art)! She’s happy and impressed that everyone is OK (also, Katja and Sam both have little lines that foreshadow their ~parental issues~ for the season--Katja being very moved by the simple act of Sandra-Lynn showing up for them and Sam saying that in her experience moms can be very evil).

As they all leave the cave, they all do checks and get some info:

Ostentatia: The mirror was kinda like a palimpsest (the crystals they were trapped in) and whatever this thing is is ancient and powerful.

Yelle: Gets the above info and the fact that when the thing left it wasn’t quite a bad vibe, just the vibe that something big and important is at play.

Penny: On an Arcana check she knows that what Danielle did 100% saved Antiope and Sam’s lives from whatever and wherever was on the either side of the mirror but the contact marked them in some way.

Katja: With History she sees some Primordial writing which is the writing of elementals (one of the things Ending has resistances to which might be relevant; also Sam reads Primordial but doesn’t get to read what it says)

Antiope: She knows that she and Sam are connected to Ending now somehow but it’s a two way connection which means they can also use it to their advantage.

Ostentatia casts Mending on the mirror shards which I think was to reconstruct the mirror but what it actually does is someone link their friendship bracelets. Cute!

And, with that, we cut to the present a year and a half later (which is Jr or Sr year for everyone).

We hop from kid to kid as they get ready to head in to school and get glimpses into their homes lives! Let’s do a quick rundown for each girl:

Antiope Jones

We see that Antiope is the youngest of five in what is essentially a military family full of basically every kind of fighter (she says she basically lives in a “Crossfit box”). There’s an 8 year gap between her and her sister Corsica who is the second youngest so her parents are kind of already living like empty nesters. When she comes downstairs she is promptly handed a protein smoothie and told two pieces of info: (1) from Corsica she learns that she overheard at school --where she teaches--that Aguefort needs to talk to her for some reason but she won’t say why which annoys the crap out of Antiope and (2) her parents lined up an internship for her at the Ministry of Adventure. She and her mom verbally spar a bit about them being all up in her life and how stressed she is and how she likes what she has going now with the Seven but her mom wins ofc because she’s a Mom and also a master tactician with a deft hand for loving mom guilt. On the way to school her bros (who include a gunslinger and an eldritch knight cause they run the whole gamut of fighter classes) Facetime her like, “Yikes Ant, heard about what happened with Mom, this is why you don’t fight her lmao.”

Sam Nightingale

This is a heavy one so strap in.

We check in with Sam who isn’t at her own family’s home but at Penelope’s family home which is off the bat eyebrow raising. It’s an upper middle class house and, on the way down, she has to pass Penelope’s bedroom which is conspicuously empty. Downstairs she’s greeted by Penelope’s human mom Rebecca who she learns is moving out soon because her elf husband is both cheating on her while away in Falinel and starting the divorce process. Sam clearly sees Penelope’s mom as a surrogate mom (for reasons we’ll learn in a second) and goes full ride or die assuring her that her ass is better than the ass of the woman he’s cheating with and offering to help burn his stuff even though drowning is more her specialty (she’s so cool). She also is a little stricken at the thought of Rebecca leaving her in the house alone but Rebecca says she can come with if she wants, she just didn’t want to disrupt her school life.

She also tells Rebecca that her bio-mom called recently which immediately sets Sam off. Through the convo we learn a couple of things:

Sam used to be an actor it seems.

And it seems like she was kicked out of the house after she transitioned or something similar which is why she lives with the Everpetals.

Now that it’s more “fashionable” to to be trans (her mom’s words, not mine) she wants Sam to talk to her so they can get her back in the game.

Sam is having none of that and tells Rebecca to just delete her mom’s number. Then they have a cathartic session of burning her cheating husband’s shit before Sam leaves in Sebastian--her sentient, seafoam blue, self-driving car with a very hot male voice which I am extremely jealous of. She picks up Zelda on the way to school and they commiserate a little and have a heart to heart about adults and change and how much Zelda wants to body slam Sam’s mom.

Penny Luckstone

Penny’s house is a whirlwind of activity and her harried parents get her and her 19 young siblings ready for school (no wonder she’s such a good babysitter). We see where Penny gets her type-A ness from as her mom and dad both have this cheerful but overworked energy of “EVERYTHING IS FINE” like that Good Place sign. Her mom spares a second to tell her that she recently got a letter for The Society of Shadows which is like a super secret rogue college (which her parents assume is legit even though they haven’t heard of it cause they’re Mumple people and also, if you've heard of a rogue school, how good could it really be?) Penny is excited except that it would mean she’d have to move and leave her party. Her mom is like “hey it’s a full ride and there are 20 of you guys so just take that into consideration but it’s ultimately your decision” before she dashes away to get to work because it is always Go Go Go with the Luckstones. She texts Sam for a ride and Sam swings by to grab her. This is not plot relevant but she has a booster seat in the back of Sebastian with her name carved into it and it’s important to me that you know that.

Katja Cleaver

Next up is Katja who lives in a Richie Rich style mansion and comes from very old money as she is descended from one of the first adventurers in Solace. She is in the barn with Cinnamon and the bugbear farrier they have employed (her name is Gertrude and a farrier is someone who does horseshoes). She eats the same breakfast as Cinnamon (hot dry oats and berries baybee) wo she loves so so dearly. Cinnamon is a magical horse--basically like a Find Steed spell that’s on all the time. She’s modeled the horse in her fave book series--the Babysitter’s Horse of course. Lockwood, the staff’s hobgoblin butler, is also there and they get a fantasy Zoom call from Katja’s dad who is in the middle of the insane 20th level adventurer stuff which he says might make him miss her graduation. She is extremely disappointed but just barely hides it from her dad (who seems to really care despite his not being around). She can’t hide it from the staff or Cinnamon however and Cinnamon offers to give her a ride to school via the scenic route.

Note: We also learn two sad facts about Katja from the conversation with her dad.

Her mother is Disney Princess dead* and

She wears one half of a friendship necklace and it seems like she’s waiting for someone to give the other half to. It’s implied earlier that the way Penelope got her was by promising to be her best friend. Sad!

*Edit: Well, she’s gone and we’ll leave it at that until next recap.

Ostentatia Wallace

Ostentatia wakes up and goes downstairs to have a very high energy in both directions interaction with her very fantasy-Italian mom and grandma. Her grandma is concerned her beard isn’t coming in--not knowing she shaves it on purpose which her mom is like, “Listen it’s fine but don’t tell grandma it’ll kill her.” She clocks very quickly that her dad isn’t there and his mithril working tools are gone. Her mom tries to play it off but she knows she’s being lied to and her mom relents. Her dad is at a meeting with the other workers of the shut down mithril factory and negotiations have ceased. It looks like he’s gonna be long term out of work. That explains where her dad is but not why the tools are missing. She decides to go do some investigating on her own and ambushes her dad in his car where, with the inaugural nat 20 of the season, she realizes he pawned his tools to get her 5 revivify diamonds. She's upset by this and he’s upset that she’s, in his eyes, questioning his ability to take care of his family. She’s like, alright, you did a thing for me, I’ll do a thing for you and she casts Animate Object to make his stuff steal itself back in a sequence that involves an animated crowbar using another crowbar which is just wild.

Danielle Barkstock

I’m gonna be real, Danielle’s life is exactly how you assume it is based on Who She Is As A Person so this one will be real short. Eco-friendly off the grid geodesic yurt. One super chill peace and love elf sorc mom and one rough and tough human ranger mom. She also knows and helps the Cubbies with their anarchist machinations because yeah, duh. She gets some messages from school on her crystal--one being a message from the principal saying that she and the rest of her party have first period off to meet with him and the other being a newsletter from the school showing, among other things, a photo of the Druid class doing a project but she’s not in it for some reason. She texts one of the other druids to see if she can figure out why she wasn’t invited but fully gets left on read. Brutal. Of course, she hasn’t messaged that person in 6-8 months so maybe that’s why.

Anyway, with that, all seven of our maidens make it to school and are all exuberant to see each other in a very teen girl way before getting to the principal’s office and learning that their party will be broken up at the year!

Bad!

Superlatives

I wanted to do something a little different for these recaps than the Bad Kid ones so instead of Honor Roll/Detention we are doing Superlatives and the inaugural one goes to...

Sam: Most Like To Survive a Horror Movie

Man she woke up chained in a ritual magic circle and she was Ready To Go Immediately. You will not catch this girl doing horror movie victim BS like exploring the spooky house or giving the creepy obvious ghost the time of day. She is hyper-competent and her goal is making it out alive and dragging her friends with her. Love her.

Random Thoughts

The season immediately starts with a bang or I should say a bing with Izzy trying to say “bling bang” and accidentally saying, “bling bing” and immediately getting roasted by everyone. I love the authentic girl group vibes (which include everyone clowning on her then immediately hyping up Zelda to the max after being way more awkward).

Handshake meme with Danielle and Moonshine from Naddpod. Also, Cinnamon and Horse from Centaurworld.

I love that Rekha and Erika just straight up were like, “Our characters are Asian”. Like obviously, make your characters Asian coded in your fantasy world--all my D&D characters are black like me--but it’s funny that they completely disregarded the, “There’s no Asia in this world so I guess they’re this world’s equivalent to--” Nah just, “I’m a half-elf and I’m Asian.” You love to see it.

I absolutely LOVE the choices the cast made to flesh out their characters based on the little info Brennan had about them, none moreso than rich horse girl Katja. Rekha is a genius.

“I only want one thing and he’s working” KATJAAAAAAA

Man if I was in that flashback I would have been wilding out so much with my flashback plot armor.

I appreciate that the first thing that Aabria has Antiope do is extremely uncool. I love it when players aren’t concerned about just being cool and on point all the time. Sometimes (read: often) that’s the less interesting choice.

But on the exact opposite side, she’s a ranger and an arcane archer which I think is extremely cool. Lmao also I didn’t mention in the recap but she HATES dragons now which, understandable. I’m guessing they're her favored enemy.

I can’t wait to see another group of kids interact w/ madman Aguefort.

Also, as a known Aelwyn-stan, I am very excited for the possibility of the Seven interacting with her cause as much as I love her they are under no obligation to acknowledge her redemption arc and I would love to see them throw hands.

I love the Greek myth naming scheme of Antiope’s extremely cool family as with her on the spot nickname “L-Cab” short for long caboose since she’s the youngest by a mile.

Also this is out of character not in character but Sephie is an extremely cool nickname for Persephone.

I wonder why Brennan didn’t let Sam read the Primordial in the cave. He just glossed right past her saying that she speaks it and she didn’t push it. Would it have solved his entire plot in the span of a flashback or was he just keeping things moving?

Sidenote, if I was married to an elf man and worried about aging like Rebecca, I would simply become a druid (or a monk or up my wizard levels so I could learn True Polymorph or Wish or something).

I wonder what the deal with Ending is. She seemed relatively sincere in the mirror but that doesn’t mean anything. She could be sincere and also Very Bad News.

There is an offhand comment by Brennan about how the dwarf forge god gives spells but doesn’t talk to his followers which I think means that Ostentatia is gonna be getting a direct god call soon enough.

Also she mentions that her dad is doing some criminal activity on the side which seems like a Problem for later. Honestly all of the kids have some pretty rich parent drama happening which should be interesting to see explored.

No nat 1s this ep and 1 nat 20 as I mention from Ostentatia.

#dimension 20 #fantasy high #the seven #fantasy high spoilers #dimension 20 spoilers

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bluemusickid · 4 years ago

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Hi! I hope you're doing well 🥰 Can you I request one where Steve breaks reader's arm or leg by mistake during training and has to take care of her afterwards? Definitely won't mind if some smut is added 😅 Thank you!!

OMFGGGG MY FAV WRITER SENT AN ASK ASDFGHJKL (Also full disclosure: this has been one of my kinks for a while :P)

Pairing: Steve Rogers x Fem!Reader

Warnings: slow burn (just a tad), 18+, SMUTTTT, unprotected sex (don’t be silly, wrap your willy), did I mention NSFW? Read at your own risk.

A/N: I would like to thank @imdarkinme for sending in this AMAZING ask! She’s a doll and I’ve been a fan of her writing for so long!! I would also like to thank @donutloverxo for converting me to a Steve Stan loool. I wanted him to be a bit dark here, but in the end his dorky side won. :P Without further ado, I hope you enjoy!! Send in your requests here and you can join my taglist here (or you could just send an ask lmao)! Thanks!

I post my stuff only on AO3 and here, nowhere else.

The Learning Curve

You groaned as you got up from the mat, yet again. It was dumb of you to ask Captain Rogers to train with you. As a new recruit, you’d obviously wanted to impress him; he was the leader of the Avengers after all. There was only one tiny problem you forgot to factor in: the man was a Super Soldier, while you were...not.

“Come on, get up! We still have two rounds to go!” a voice bellowed from above you.

You mentally cursed at the voice. You’d tried to not let it affect you, but like many others, you had a bit of a crush on the Captain. But it wasn’t solely because of his looks, it was more about his passion to help and save and to protect. He was always so passionate, it was hard to keep away(which was a fiercely guarded secret). You felt like Icarus, when you were with him.

Getting up, you tried to block his punches, while getting in a few yourself. It was impossible, the man was a champ. You saw your opening, however, when he seemed to be distracted by someone approaching him from behind you. Seeing this as a golden opportunity to catch him off guard, you threw a punch aiming for his face. Unfortunately, he blocked the punch and pushed you, to ward you off. It seemed as if he too, forgot that he was a Super Soldier, pushing you a bit too hard.

You screamed as you fell to the ground, twisting to save your face, your arm breaking your fall. Your suspicions were confirmed as you tried to move your arm but couldn’t. Steve heard you yelp and rushed to your side, carefully inspecting your injured appendage. You squealed as he touched your arm, the pain indescribable. Steve whispered his apologies a million times, trying to haul you up by your waist, in vain. Finally, he gave up and picked you up bridal style, like you weighed nothing.

You gasped, partially out of pain, but mostly out of surprise at the sudden move.

“Umm...Cap..tain..I..can..walk..” you stuttered, unable to keep the pain out of your voice.

He looked into your eyes and smiled, shaking his head. Oh dear lord. This man truly was gorgeous. Nearing the MedBay, he slowly placed you on the bed, his mouth tantalisingly close to yours as he lowered you onto the surface. You never realised how blue his eyes were, which at the moment were filled to the brim with anxiety and some other emotion; which you couldn’t quite place your finger on. Deciding you were probably delirious from the pain, you tried to focus on what the doctor was telling you.

“...so you’ll have to be on constant bedrest for the next two weeks before we can check again to see if you need a rod put in.”

“Err, I’m sorry doc, what?” you mumbled apologetically, embarrassed by your thoughts.

“As I was telling Captain Rogers, you seem to have a hairline fracture in your ulna, which could require support. You need to rest and take it easy for at least two weeks. Training will have to be put on hold, and I suggest you call a family member to take care of you in the meantime.” the doctor said, scribbling notes.

“Oh, that..won’t be necessary. I can do stuff on my own, I’ll be very careful.” you said with a grimace, not wanting to seem weaker in front of Steve.

“That’s not gonna happen.” Steve said, firmly. “She’ll stay in my quarters. It’s the least I can do after breaking her arm.”

You stared at him, a million things going through your head. You and him, in the confines of a room, alone. Oh no. This was going to be torturous in more way than one.

“Oh no no no, Captain. I couldn’t. I wouldn’t like to impose. Plus, I’m feeling better already! I’m sure it’s more than manageable. Please..I..I’ll be okay, really.” you rushed, pretty sure that your voice was betraying just how fast your heart was beating.

Steve smirked. “This isn’t up for debate. Plus, I’m sure it would be easier for the others to check up on you when we’re away on missions.” he said, taking the prescription from the doctor.

You winced as he helped you up from the bed, the warmth of his hand making you hyperaware about what your life was gonna be like for 2 weeks. You sighed. It was gonna be a loooong two weeks.

-------

You realised after a week that your worries had all been for naught. Steve was an excellent caretaker. He made sure you took all your medicines at the right time, ate properly and rested enough. He was also a thorough gentleman, always calling a lady nurse when you needed to take a shower or get dressed; really respected your boundaries. But you couldn’t deny the shift in his behaviour towards you. At first, you felt like you were reading into it too much, but then it started to get more noticeable. They were little things, but it meant so much. He would insist on having lunch with you, no matter if you were quiet or chatty; Steve always was there. He brought your favourite blanket from your chambers to make sure you felt more comfortable. At night, he would make sure you were comfortable, get you hot chocolate, maybe even sit next to you till you fell asleep. One time, he held your hand till you drifted off; but you were sure that you felt him leave a small peck on your cheek as you nodded off.

If you weren’t falling for him earlier, you sure as hell were now.

------

After hitting the two week mark, you went to the doctor again for a checkup. All seemed well, there was no need for a rod to be put in but the cast would have to stay on. Steve was there throughout the appointment, listening intently at everything the doctor said with his full focus. It was quite distracting and kinda hot, and you couldn’t help but sneak glances at him periodically. On one occasion, he caught your eye and grinned, catching you in the act. You wished the ground would swallow you up just then: this man fully well knew that you had a crush on him and was enjoying messing with you.

You nearly gasped as you felt his hand on your shoulder, guiding you to the lift. Something was different today. Steve seemed buoyant, which was very out of character for him.

“The nurse isn’t available today, she had some prior commitments. If it’s ok with you, I’ll be taking care of you tonight.” he said, softly. You gulped, his tone messing with your train of thought.

“Uh, that’s ok, I can manage things for a night. I’ve already imposed on you quite a bit and don’t want to create more of a hassle.”

Steve smiled. “Sweetheart, you’ve not been a hassle, trust me. It felt nice having you around, I enjoy your companionship. Just a few weeks more and you can get rid of me.” he said, with a mischievous grin. You groaned inwardly; this man was driving you nuts.

“Oh no, I really liked staying with you. You’re great company! I don’t think I want to get rid of you, ha.” you said in a flourish, mentally cursing yourself for being such a blabbering fool around him.

Steve looked at you, his eyes darkening. He stepped closer to you, opening his mouth to say something, but the elevator seemed to sense the tension rife in the air and opened at that exact moment. You both snapped out of the haze you were in with Steve beckoning you to his quarters, his hand resting softly on your back.

Back in your room, you realised you needed to take your nightly shower. You were about to call for the nurse, when you remembered that she wasn’t gonna come. Shit. You’d have to call Steve to help with your sling. Closing your eyes, you sighed before you walked to his room, praying to God that you would get through this. Just go in, get the brace off, and get out, you whispered to yourself. With that mantra in mind, you hesitantly knocked on his door. A muffled ‘come in’ reached you, and you timidly entered the lion’s den.

Steve was tinkering with the laptop, clearly engrossed in some work. You felt guilty disturbing him, but it was kind of an emergency.

“Is everything ok?”

“Yes, I..just needed some help with my sling; I tried to take it off, but it’s not coming off. Can you..unfasten it? I’ll be out of your hair in no time..”

Wordlessly, Steve sauntered over to you, turning you around to face the wall. Softly, his fingers undid the clasp of the sling, pulling the straps off your neck, his fingers grazing over your skin gently. You jerked, surprised by the small currents you felt with these small touches. Turning you around, he helped you take your arm out of the sling, his hands accidentally brushing the sides of your breasts. You didn’t dare make eye contact with him; you were sure you would say or do something you would regret later on.

“All done.” he whispered, his eyes not leaving yours. You realised he was merely inches away from your lips; the proximity driving you crazy.

“Thanks.” you mumbled, wanting to run out of the room.

“Are you going to bed? Do you need anything to drink?”

“Yes, I was just gonna head to bed after my shower.”

“You can shower here. I’d be able to keep an eye on you then and you won’t have to worry about any mishaps. See? Win-win.” he said with a grin.

You were about to decline his offer but stopped when he held up his hand. “You need to stop thinking that you’re a burden on me. I like doing things for you, it makes me feel like I’m not totally alone. These two weeks have undoubtedly been one of the best weeks in my life. I like you, and I know you like me. I just want to show you how much I care for you in my own, peculiar ways.” he said, taking your hand in his, drawing patterns on your knuckles softly.

Your mind raced with all the information. You never knew Steve felt this way, he was always so taciturn. Your gaze flitted to his face, his eyes darkening the way they did in the morning. He didn’t need words to convey what his eyes said; he felt the same way you did about him.

You melted as he raised your hand to his lips, placing a kiss which felt like petals grazing your skin. Leaning down, his lips inched closer to yours, his breath tickling your face.

“Tell me if I should stop, and I will.” he whispered.

You waited a beat before making your decision. Raising your lips to his, you touched his lips slightly before murmuring, “don’t stop.”

And that was it. You were lost in the maelstrom of emotions that was Steve kissing you. It started off sweet, with Steve engulfing your lips within his, taking his time to make sure you were enjoying. It turned heated the moment you ran your fingers through his hair, gently tugging on it. Steve ran his tongue over you, begging for entrance. You moaned and opened your mouth, prompting him to unite his tongue with yours, as if to memorise every inch of you. You broke apart, the need for air greater than your desire.

He picked you up and carried you to the bed, placing you on it carefully. Being extremely careful, he pulled off your tee, eyes widening as he took in your bare chest. Kneeling in front of you, he took off your sweatpants and your underwear, leaving soft but searing kisses at every inch of skin he exposed. You sharply inhaled, already feeling yourself get wet even though he hadn’t even touched you properly.

Lowering you to the bed tenderly, he made sure your arm was resting comfortably, placing a pillow underneath the appendage. Placing his hand next to your head, he kissed you deeply, pouring every emotion he felt into that kiss. You moaned as you felt his lips trail lower, leaving kisses along your neck, laving your pulse point. Moving lower, he kissed your breasts, leaving small bites along the way. Taking a swollen nub in his mouth, he sucked on it while massaging the other, prompting you to groan and run your uninjured hand through his hair, wanting him inside you.

While he moved his attention to your other breast, he trailed his fingers down your body, leaving goosebumps in their wake. He finally reached his destination, his fingers soft against your wet nether region.

“Steve, please..I need you..” you whispered in urgency. His intrepid fingers found your swollen nub and circled; gently at first, and then with more intensity. Moving lower, his digits swirled around your wet lips, before plunging into your tight channel. You gasped as he began thrusting, his knuckles bumping along your front wall, hitting your sweet spot. You had to refrain from arching your back, instead relegating to pulling his head down for a kiss. He increased his speed, adding another finger once he sensed how close you were. You shrieked as you reached your peak, breaking apart from the kiss.

As you opened your eyes, recovering from your orgasm, you saw Steve look at you, an unspoken question in his deep blue eyes. You nodded, cupping his cheek, running your thumb over his soft, soft skin. You don’t know what power he wielded over you, but it didn’t matter. You had no qualms being caught in this spell he wove.

Shedding his clothes, he returned to his place, widening your spread legs with his torso. Sitting back on his heels, he took in your body, his gaze running over every curve, every stretch mark, every beauty spot on your body. Taking his hard member in his hand, he gave a few strokes before lowering himself, running his nose against yours. He ran his tip along your wet folds before plunging into you in one swift move. You gasped and closed your eyes, your head falling back against the pillow. He gave you time to adjust to his size, your walls snug against him. After a moment, he began moving, careful to not move your arm. He started off slow, making sure you felt every inch of him. You hooked your legs around his hips, urging him to move faster. He took the hint, his pace increasing with each thrust. The coil in your belly was tightening and you could feel yourself hurtling towards completion for the second time. Running your hand along his back, your hand made it’s way to his ass, pushing down, begging him for more. Steve held himself up, looking deeply into your eyes, as he sped up his thrusts. You could feel him within you, each thrust hitting your weak spot over and over again.

You screamed his name as you reached your peak, your legs tightening around him; wrapping yourself around him like a vine. He was close too, his thrusts now becoming frantic as he was chasing his end. Your walls contracting around him set off his orgasm as he moaned, spilling every last drop of himself inside you. You both panted, as he dropped his head on your chest, trying to catch his breath. You both stayed like that for a while as you ran your fingers through his scalp, enjoying the feel of his weight on yours.

There were many things to talk about, sure.

But for now, this was more than enough.

-----

Tags: @chris-evans-indian-fanfic @donutloverxo @worksby-d @gotnofucks @imdarkinme @chris-butt @ozarkthedog

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notbleachtea · 3 years ago

Text

Favorite Shirt

Okay time to post again. Slight warnings, mention of death, toxic relationship, slight emotional abuse.

Word count ~2.9k

"Tch, I guess it’s about time I clean my desk. I can't work with all of this crap on it." Jotaro annoyedly says.

While cleaning off the countless stacks of paper he pauses. All desire to clean is quickly knocked out of him. He sits back down in his desk chair holding the group picture you all took in Egypt. He glances over each face in the image, some happy memories, some not so much. He would give anything to go back in time to change the way things played out. So many stupid mistakes. His eyes immediately halt when he gets to yours. His face expressed sorrow and longing.

His favorite memories of the two of you start to come rushing back to his head, and for a moment, he smiles. The constant flirting that always occured between the two of you. The silent stares you each felt from one another. No matter how much the others teased you two, you still weren't sure if admitting your feelings was the best idea. You each had your own reasons for keeping distant. The mission was much more important anyway, and so was your friendship.

He recalls one of his favorite memories with you.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

It had been a long week of tiresome stand battles, the closer you got to Egypt, the more intense they became. He noticed this was taking quite the toll on you and made the gang find a hotel that night so you could get some much needed rest. In the meantime he suggested that you use him as a pillow in the car on the way there.

Honestly, you took him up on the offer. You took everything you could at the time knowing that it would never go any further no matter how bad you wanted it to. Your head rested on his large chest, which was surprisingly soft for how tough he was. Every now and then he'd tug on his hat to cover his face when in fact he was just trying to steal a few glances at your peaceful, resting figure.

"Alright, we're here, group up and we'll get going into our rooms," Joseph states.

"I ca-"

"She's staying with me. There's no discussing it." Jotaro then picks you up and carries you to your room.

You started to wake up from the movements and the background noise going on in the hotel, and the first thing you saw was Jotaro's face when you opened your

eyes.

"Clearly I must be dreaming," you thought.

"Look who decided to wake up." he scoffed at you. "Really left it up to me to carry you all the way up here."

"I'm so sorry! I won't let it-"

"That's enough. I was just kidding anyway. You fought really hard today, it's the least I could do."

You smiled back at him as he set you down on the bed. That was honestly all the thanks he needed.

"Anyway, I'm going to go get something to eat, I'll bring something back for you if you want, but you should probably get some real rest soon."

You began to crawl up into the bed in your dirty and torn clothes from the day you just had.

"Good grief, what do you think you're doing? You're really going to sleep in a nice clean bed in your dirty clothes??"

"Well, I don't really have any clean clothes left right now, so, unless you have a better ide-"

You were quickly cut off with a soft hit to the face. Jotaro threw one of his clean shirts at you.

"Here. You can use this. It'll be more comfortable anyway."

Jotaro had left to go pick up some food and when he came back he was greeted with his favorite shirt filled with his favorite person. Wearing only that shirt made you look much smaller than you actually were, it practically went down to your knees.

"Thanks Jotaro! I promise I'll get it back to you as soon as I can."

"Keep it. It looks better on you anyway." He cooly tried to say as he pulled his hat down over his eyes.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

After everything that had happened in Egypt, you just wanted to get away from it all for a while. Go out on your own to a new place with no reminder of the loved ones you lost and all the feelings you never acted on. As a thank you for your hard work, the SpeedWagon Foundation offered to pay for everything of whatever you decided to do. You thought maybe you'd try going to school in America for a while. It was great, you had all the experiences you grew up seeing in movies and on TV. You made plenty of new friends there and even dipped your toes in the dating pool.

Right after you finished school, you and your boyfriend got married. You thought that's what you ought to do, you've been with him for so long. Everyone thought you were the perfect couple. He always took you out on extravagant dates and bought you expensive jewelry. Every girl wanted to be you. But that was only because they didn't know what happened behind closed doors. He never physically hurt you, not many people could, I mean you could hold your

own in Egypt, you're pretty tough, but mentally, he knew you were weak. You would confide in him in the beginning of your relationship about all your friends back home that you missed. He never let you call home or talk to them either. The ones you could never see again. Everytime he wanted you to hurt he would just remind you that they were dead because you weren't there for them, you weren't strong enough to save them. Countless letters came in from your friends and family and he'd throw them away before you could see them. He would even tell you that no one was writing to you anymore.

Every now and then you manage to chat with Jotaro. He'd call you on your lunch break at work from time to time just to play catch up. Asking things like 'how's life?' and 'are you doing okay?' and the sort of thing. Everytime you told him you were doing great. You love your husband and you even try to brag about how well he treats you by describing all the luxurious gifts he's been buying you. Everytime Jotaro ended the call saying he was happy for you and then a

quick update on his life.

To be honest, Jotaro wasn't falling for your phone calls. He knew something was wrong, but he never knew how bad it really was. He thought it was strange that you never wrote to him or called him outside of your work hours. It was also strange how you never really went into depth about your personal life either.

One fateful day, you're having a routine call with Jotaro when your husband decided to stop by to take you out to lunch. He asked the secretary why your door was closed to which she simply responded, "Oh, she's talking to her childhood friend Jotaro! He usually calls about this time every week."

He walks into your office catching you off guard while you're still on the phone. The shock alone causes you to drop the phone with a quiet screech.

"Y/n, are you there?" Jotaro stays on the line worried about what he just heard.

Your husband shuts your office door leaving just the two of you in there and is yelling just loud enough to where your coworkers can't hear him.

"I thought I told you no one wanted to talk to you anymore? They're all fed up with you, can't believe you let your friends die back in Egypt. They'll never

forgive you for that."

"You're right I'm sorry just please don't do this here."

"What makes you think you can tell *me* what to do? That's not how this works. And who gave you permission to talk to other guys? There's going to be some serious consequences for this when you come home." He walks out of your office smiling at all of your coworkers like nothing had just happened, followed by a shut of your office door and your muffled cries.

"Y/n?? Are you still there? Are you okay? Did he hurt you?"

"Wh- what did you hear?" You managed to squeak out, choking back tears.

"I heard enough y/n, he's not a good guy. I knew something was wrong. We have to get you out of there."

"No. This is my life now. I don't need your help, I told you I'm perfectly fine."

"Y/n I'm not kidding, you have to get out of there *now* and I won't take no for an answer."

"I can't, okay! I have nowhere to go. No one would believe me if I said the things he's done to me. Anyone who I try to run to just rats me out to him and the situation gets worse."

"Y/n, go pack your most essential things while he's out of the house. I'm buying you a ticket home for tonight. You'll be safe here this time tomorrow."

The instant care Jotaro had just shown you only causes you to cry more. How could you let yourself get like this? You really weren't okay. You were just too headstrong to admit anything was wrong.

"Thank you." You were able to muster through even more tears.

After picking yourself up off the floor and drying your face, you left your office, no intention to come back. You rushed home to grab only your essential items while your husband was finishing his day at work. You grabbed a few sets of clothing, your toothbrush, hair and makeup accessories, a few pairs of shoes, and your folder of important documents. Everything else was replaceable and or retrievable at a later date.

You take a deep breath and get the courage to call a ride to the airport.

Free from your husband's control, you weren't scared to text or call Jotaro on your own phone now. You called him letting him know that you were on your way.

One short plane ride across the ocean later and Jotaro was waiting there for you to take you home. You're not sure how long he was there for but you're convinced he was waiting there since before you even took off.

"Y/n, over here." He waves you over.

You walk over shyly and ashamed of what he had witnessed just the day before. You couldn't even pick your head up enough to look him in the eyes.

"Y/n it's okay now. You're here with me, he can't get to you right now."

"Ye- yeah I guess you're right. So where do I go now?"

"C'mon, I'll take you back to my place."

"We're stopping there before the hotel?"

"I'm not letting you stay alone right now. You're staying with me at my house. The only reason I let you fly alone was because it got you out of there faster."

Jotaro takes your bag and you both head to the taxi.

"C'mon short stuff, get those legs movin' faster."

"Hey! Not everyone can be freakishly tall."

Jotaro raises one eyebrow, "So I'm a freak, aye?"

"Sorr-"

"Don't apologize, you're already more vocal when you're free around here. I like it."

The taxi drops you two off at his house. The drive felt like an eternity when in reality it was only a few short minutes. You stared out the car door window in awe.

*So this is what he's been up to this whole time*

"Well c'mon now, let's get inside."

You quickly follow after him like a lost puppy.

"There's a spare bedroom upstairs and down the hall, why don't you take this time to relax and freshen up while I make us something to eat?"

"You really don't have to do this for me Jotaro, but I appreciate it."

You head upstairs with your bag. It really was a long flight. You decide to take a quick shower and put on some clean clothes.

About an hour goes by when Jotaro comes by your room to collect you.

"Dinners ready y/n."

"Okay, I'll be right out, I just have to put some makeup on first."

"Uhh, what for? We're not going out anywhere."

"I don't know. I just always do. He always made me wear makeup, even at the house, I guess I'm just used to it."

Jotaro quickly turns around and starts heading towards the kitchen, but not without leaving a remark, "well don't. You look better without it anyway."

You follow soon after him with a fresh blank face. The table has already been set beautifully and you can already smell your favorite dish. He brings over two plates of food followed by a new bottle of wine.

"Why don't we catch up for real this time?" He asks.

Hours go by at the dinner table along with a few bottles of wine. The two of you bickering just like the old days. You missed this. You needed this.

You finally caught a glimpse of the time and stood up to help clean up the table.

"You don't need to help clean this up y/n. We can even clean it up tomorrow. Why don't we go talk in the living room for a bit longer?"

You move forward as an attempt to get to the couch, finally realizing how much you actually drank, you're quite tipsy in fact. Jotaro moves over to the couch to join you. Sitting side by side he grabs your hand with a guilty look on his face.

"Y/n, I'm so sorry this happened to you. It's all my fault."

Clearly he's a bit tipsy too if he's actually trying to admit being at fault right now.

"None of this is your fault Jotaro, what are you going on about?"

"If I was just straight with you when we were younger. If I actually had the courage to say something to you. Maybe you would have stayed. Maybe you would've ended up with me instead. Instead I thought you were too good for me."

Your eyes start to swell up. "Don't say that. Ever. I'm the one that's not good enough for you. Why would you ever want someone like me?"

"Well, you're you, that's why. You're strong, you held your own in the desert, you tried your hardest for us and you made it out. I've never met anyone as strong as you, and to know that someone took advantage of you? And I wasn't there to protect you? I'm so sorry for all of it."

Now full on ugly crying again, Jotaro wraps his arms around you and pulls you in for a hug.

"I'm so sorry Jotaro. Can you forgive me?"

He lifts up your crying head by your chin and brushes all your loose pieces of hair out of your face. He holds you here until you return the look into his deep aqua eyes. He moves forward, crashing his lips into yours. There was no hesitation on your end, you kissed him back just as hungrily. Neither of you needed words to figure out what the other one was thinking. You could feel the admittance of your love for each other from just that embrace. Jotaro pulls back and pushes your head into his chest so he can hold you once again. He pats your head.

"It's all okay now, I'm sorry it took this long," and he leaves a kiss on the top of your head.

The moment is only ended by your yawning since you've been up for lord knows how long. Jotaro picks you up and carries you in his arms to his room. He notices the slight confusion in your face.

"I was thinking maybe you sleep in here with me tonight, kinda like old times?"

"Okay, just let me go change into my pajamas. I don't want to get in the nice clean bed in my dirty clothes.".

You walk back into his room in just his old t-shirt you kept from the desert.

"You really kept that old thing?" He spouted.

"I really did. It's how I kept you close that whole time I was gone." You said with an embarrassed smile.

"It really does look better on you ya know?" He says through a full face of blush. Just seeing you again in that shirt made him think of all the things he wanted to do to you now and then.

You moved to go lay down alongside Jotaro in his massive bed. He always wanted to know what it'd be like to hold you in his arms in his own bed.

Jotaro pulls you into his chest to hold you tight, with no intention of letting you go. He places a delicate kiss on your cheek. You squeeze his hand as a subtle sign of acceptance and nuzzle into his broad figure.

“Goodnight y/n. Sleep tight.”

#jotaro kujo #jojo #jjba x reader #jjba #jjba jotaro #jotaro kujo x reader #jotaro x reader #jojo jotaro #jojosbizzareadventure #jjba pt 3

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nishiisenpai · 4 years ago

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birthday forgotten - tsukishima kei x reader

REQUEST: “Hi babes! Another Haikyuu writer here! I saw you posted about doing requests and I was hoping on giving you one! Maybe an angst with fluff at the end fic where it’s the reader’s birthday (who is the karasuno manager and is also dating Tsuki cause I love that man) and they (the team) all forget, and when they find other later they feel bad because she has always made their birthday’s special. Then ending in fluff of them trying to make it up to her. Sorry if it’s not good I usually write and don’t request lmao. Hope you see more of your stuff in the future! - @nataliahaslosthershit “

A/N: I seriously can not thank you enough for sending in this request(deadass cried about it for a whole 10-15 minutes LOL - because i thought this blog was gonna flop ._. ) but thank you again for sending this in and i hope i didn’t disappoint you or anything!

WARNING: Angsty but with a fluff ending!

WHO: Tsukishima Kei x Karasuno Manager! Female Reader

“Morning Tsukki!” you smile at your salty dinosaur who had just entered the classroom. You followed him to his desk where he sat down and placed his bag, taking a book out.

“Morning.” Tsukishima said while giving you a small grin and paying attention to his book.

“Whatcha up to?”

“Reading.”

“Oh- uhm, do you want me to stay here or like?” You said as you were about to get up and leave though Tsukishima’s hand held onto your wrist.

“No no, it’s okay. You can stay here.” He looked at you with his norm straight face and you nodded sitting back down.

“I heard it’s a special day today...” you hinted. Today was your birthday and you were really hoping your salty dino got the message.

“Oh really?”

“Yup!” your eyes beamed with sparkles as Tsukki didn’t pay attention. “Hey are you ignoring me?”

“What? No! I was listening still. Keep talking.”

“Oh uhm, well today is a special day! A very very special day.”

“Is that so?” his eyes stayed on the book as he turned the page.

“Yes it quite is.”

“Well if you’re going to say something that mentions about practice then I think you’re mistaken.”

“No, silly! It doesn’t have to deal with practice. Something more exciting!”

“What is there to be excited about?” ouch.

“Well I don’t know, it seems that I am forgetting something...” you mumbled but screamed in your head to shout out the answer to your question. As much as you love this dinosaur, he sure is dumb to recognize the importance of your birthday.

“Well all I know is that today’s a normal and regular day, and there isn’t something special that I remember happening today.” suddenly the words Tsukishima was saying faded into a fuzzy noise. No longer were you able to connect back or hear anything around you, all you heard was the sound of your heartbeat slowly beating and your hurried breathes.

“Y/N? Hello? Are you okay?” Tsukishima snapped you back into reality.

“Huh? Oh yeah... I’m fine. Class is about to start, I’m going to head back to my seat and I’ll see you later yeah?”

“Okay, see yah.”

Class ended awhile ago and it was break. You had just left the washroom to see Kageyama and Hinata together bickering.

“What are you two boys bickering about, today?” as you walked up to them.

“Kageyama is calling me an idiot.” Hinata shot a glare at him.

“Again?” you chuckled.

“If you hadn’t ruined my favourite sweater Y/N got for me on my birthday by puking on it I wouldn’t be holding such a grudge.”

“HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO SAY SORRY!” Hinata jumped up and down.

“It’s alright, Kageyama. I’ll get you another one on your birthday!” you said with a small smile and Kageyama’s eyes lit up.

“Wait actually??? Th-Thank you.” he gave you a small bow and you laughed.

“WHAT? NO FAIR-“ Hinata started saying but you interrupted him.

“I’ll make your birthday even more special, Hinata.” That’s all it took to have stars shine in Hinata’s eyes.

“NOT FAIR-“ you probably shouldn’t have mentioned or said that as they continued to bicker.

“Hey- BOYS!” you stopped them and they apologized. “Get to class, you’ll be late.”

“Yes, Y/N.” as they trudged back to class. Hinata had turned around.

“Oh by the way, Y/N.” maybe he would remember or say something about your birthday.

“Yes, Hinata?” you waited for the words to come out.

“Are you ready for-“

“Yes! I am so ready and excited!”

“See Kageyama, I told you Y/N would be excited to see our quick.” wait-what? I thought he would say something or remembered.

“Tsk, whatever.”

“See yah Y/N!” Hinata waved. You tried not to look upset and waved back with a small smile.

“Bye, Hinata. Bye Kageyama. I’ll see you two at practice.”

You knew these two boys would be forgetful. What type of hope did you clutch onto? If Tsukishima didn’t even remember your birthday, how would the others?

“Oh hi, Y/N!” Sugawara had said.

“Hey! Where are the others?” you said as you saw Daichi, Asahi, and Tanaka.

“They’re just coming.”

“Ahh I see.”

“So are you doing anything after practice?” yes, I’m going to celebrate my birthday by myself.

“Uh, just studying for an upcoming test. How about you Suga-san?”

“Good luck with that! And uhm.. I don’t think I have anything in mind today. Maybe just take a shower and sleep when I get home.” Suga laughed and you chuckled a bit before putting a small smile hiding away the pain.

Even Suga forgot your birthday... This is honestly one of the most heartbreaking thing because he’s never the type to forget things. Especially when it comes to birthdays...

“Takeda-sensei, I think I’ll head out first. I still have homework to work on.” You said.

“Okay, thank you Y/N for coming.” He said before turning around. You went towards the door to open it quickly as tears were streaming down your cheeks already and you didn’t want to be seen with such emotion displayed on your face. You accidently hadn’t seen where you were going as you bumped into someone.

“Oh Y/N, are you okay?” Kiyoko asked. You wiped the falling tears from your eyes quickly and inhaled a breath of air before facing her.

“Huh? Ah, Kiyoko-san, yes. I am alright. I’m just going to leave early because I have homework to finish.”

“Are you sure you’re alright?”

“Yep! See yah!” As you quickly turned away from her and walked your way home continuing to have tears stream down your face. The slow mind process of doubt, and overthinking started playing in your head as to how this could have led you to such event.

“Alright everyone, good job today! Make sure to rest up well, eat a well balanced dinner and get enough sleep.” Coach Ukai had spoken before continuing to speak, “Where’s Y/N?”

“She said she had homework left to do.” Takeda-sensei spoke out.

“Shoot, I wanted to gift her this.” Coach Ukai was holding a bag of your favourite snacks from his store.

“What for?” The team questioned.

“For her birthday... Why else?” Coach Ukai looked at the team in confusion looking at the faces of shock and guilt before widening his eyes.

“Did you idiots forget it was her birthday?!?!?!?” Coach Ukai slightly raised his voice making everyone panic.

“Wait- what? It’s today?” Tsukki checked his phone and spat out his water.

“Holy shit, I’m a bad boyfriend.”

“Tsukishima! How could you forget!?!?!” Yamaguchi yelled at his best friend before slapping him on the back of his head.

“So that’s why she was crying...” Kiyoko spoke out and everyone froze.

“S-She was crying?” Tsukishima’s eyes enlarged before grabbing his bags and heading towards the door.

“Where are you going?” Daichi asked stopping at the door.

“To go apologize to my girlfriend and to spend the rest of the day with her, why else?” As Tsukishima stared down at his captain.

“We should all go and make it up to her. We as a team forgot so we shall go do what’s right.” Sugawara had spoken as Tanaka and Nishinoya had aggressively nodded their heads.

“Let’s go to Coach Ukai’s shop to purchase more snacks and drinks.” Hinata said while looking at Kageyama. “I’ll beat you there first.”

“Not unless I do it first!” As the two started sprinting towards the doors and to the shop.

“You sir,” Tanaka and Nishinoya said while looking aggressively into Tsukishima’s eyes, “Need to be a better boyfriend or we’ll take your girl.

“As if you can.” Tsukishima smirked heading outside before dashing to your place.

You were laying in bed after finishing your studies and staring at the ceiling thinking about how today turned out.

“Am I not important? Do they even know when my birthday is? I mean I had mentioned it before. Does Tsukki even know it’s today? Am I not special enough?” all these clouded thoughts were blocking out the noise around you but suddenly your phone vibrated next to you snapping you out of your thoughts. The caller ID showed a picture of you and Tsukishima on your second date at the park mindlessly being slight idiots at night.

“Hello-?”

“Open your door.” Tsukishima’s voice said.

“Huh, why?” As you got up and walked towards the front door.

“You’ll see.” The call ended and you stared at your phone questioning what Tsukishima meant.

You opened the door revealing your boyfriend.

“What are you doing here at this time?” You said looking up at your boyfriend and tilted your head in confusion.

“Hold on, you can come in guys.” Tsukishima mentioned and you cocked your eyebrow at him.

“Happy birthday, Y/N!” Hinata came in giving you a plastic bag. In came the rest of the team and you were suddenly now holding plastic bags and poorly wrapped gifts in your hands as each of them said happy birthday to you.

“What is this..?” you chuckled nervously looking at them all for an answer.

“We felt really bad for forgetting to say a happy birthday to you. Mainly that tall blonde over there.” Tanaka said and Tsukishima sent a glare to the older boy.

“Aww thank you guys... I will admit I was a little upset, but that doesn’t matter anymore because you guys are here now! What are we waiting for? Let’s get this party started!” you exclaimed and their moods brightened.

“I’ll go set up the board games.” Daichi said with Sugawara following behind. The rest of the boys went to set up the snacks meanwhile you went to your room and placed the gifts there before heading to the kitchen to get some cold drinks.

“Y/N...” Tsukishima said out of nowhere scaring you.

“Tsukki, you nearly gave me a heart attack.” you said as you placed a hand over your heart chuckling.

“I’m sorry.” your chuckling stopped.

“It’s okay, babes. You didn’t know.” you said placing the drinks onto the kitchen counter.

“No, it’s not okay! Today is significant and an important day. I am so stupid for forgetting that it was your birthday.” Tsukishima looked down. This wasn’t like your boyfriend. The Tsukishima you knew wasn’t all apologetic and or so soft?

“Tsukki, it really is okay...” you went over to him and stood right in front of him before wrapping your arms around your salty dino.

“But it’s not.” he said mumbling. You sighed before bringing your hands to Tsukishima’s cheeks pulling him down a bit and bringing your lips together for a light kiss and going back into a hug position.

“Baby, it’s okay. I already forgave you for coming and you guys making it up to me by purchasing all this stuff and bringing all this stuff too. I promise.”

“Really? Cause I feel like a shitty boyfriend right now.”

“You will if you keep being all pouty and soft. That reminds me, since when were you so caring and soft?” you push your head away from Tsukishima’s chest giving him a puzzled look before he placed his hand on the back of your head and pushed you back to his chest.

“Shut up.” he grumbled while blushing and you giggled.

“WOAH- TSUKISHIMA’S BEING ALL CUTE IN THE KITCHEN WITH Y/N!” Sugawara said telling the group and from there started chaos.

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nationalharryleague · 4 years ago

Text

Portfolio

Pairing: Harry Styles x Reader

Genre: AU, Angst, Boss!Harry

Word count: 3.5k!

Warnings: Domestic violence mention, boss/employee dynamic

A/N: Hi! I decided to write another fic after Overnight was received so well! Again, thank you to anyone who read and enjoyed it! I’m not sure how I feel about this one lol but I think it’s good enough to post. Please let me know if you enjoyed it and send feedback! Thank you for reading!!! More of my writing can be found in my masterlist!

Part 2

You had always been a teacher’s pet. Growing up, you were the kid who worked hard to get a 4.0 GPA just for the rush of getting a compliment on your intelligence from your teacher. You craved that validation for all the hard work you put in and you just wanted people you admired to like you. And not for nothing, you deserved the compliments. At work, you were the first one there and the last one to leave. You loved your job and it showed.

You were currently working your first job with any real power at an up and coming public relations firm, Styles Public Relations. SPR was quickly growing in size and recognition and being brought onto the team was a dream come true. You loved everything about working there. The offices were beautiful, it paid well, and your ideas and proposals were finally being heard and brought to the public. Well, you loved everything except one glaring, irritating, and gorgeous problem: your boss.

Harry Styles was a striking man. He was tall, impeccably dressed, and obscenely attractive. His skin was perfectly tan and when it got warm in the office you could see beautiful tattoos revealed by his rolled up sleeves. Those sleeves were worth more than your life and his head-to-toe Gucci ensembles usually showed his wealth off well. He looked like he should be on the front of a magazine, not behind a desk. Well, he was on the cover of Forbes that one time. While he was so nice to look at, the man was anything but nice. He had an abrasive attitude and not much care for pleasantries or mincing words.

Today, you found yourself on the opposite end of his brutal disposition. You had brought a campaign proposal to him for a newly acquired client and he began to rip it to shreds.

“I don’t know why you thought this campaign was a good idea, Y/N,” he told you sternly. “It’s childish, silly, and unprofessional.” Every word he said dug into you. You tried to attribute his harshness to it being Monday, but you knew he would say this to you any day of the week.

“The client said they wanted something more playful to soften their image,” you defended yourself. “I was doing what they asked for.”

“Well, you did a terrible job at it.”

That stung. You had dedicated your life for weeks to this proposal and had expected him to love it. You hoped this was finally the proposal that would secure your position in his good graces. Apparently, not.

“Okay. I’ll restart the project with a different angle.” You moved forward to grab the binder off the conference room table and flee the room back to the safety of your office. You were shocked when he put his own hands on the binder and slid it away from you.

“You’re off the account. I’ll have someone else do a better job,” he spat. Now, that really hurt. Your ego was closely related to your career and you knew you deserved better than this. You did everything you could to hold back your tears, but one betrayed you and fell down your cheek. You believed you saw his hard exterior soften for a split second before his ruthless demeanor returned.

“Fine,” you breathed, never breaking eye contact with the cruel man. “I’ll leave you now, your highness.” The words left your lips before you could fully register them in your own head. You turned on your heel and rushed back to your office, thinking about the insubordination complaint coming your way.

“Did I just get myself fired?” you asked yourself softly when you were finally in the safety of your own office.

The rest of your week passed in a blur. By Friday, you had accepted your fate and decided to get every passive aggressive dig at your boss you could before you carried your things out in a cardboard box. When you saw him around the office, you made sure to make direct eye contact and shoot daggers his way and you responded to his emails with one word answers. You were also producing the best work you had in years. Turns out, spite was a fantastic motivator for you. If he was going to fire you, he would feel bad about it.

As usual, you spent your Friday night typing away in your office. You were a workaholic and had no problem with staying at work late. Unfortunately, so was your new nemesis.

You caught your first glimpse of him after-hours on a trip to the copier. Your next was on your trek to the coffee pot. Later, on a walk around the office to stretch your legs. Each time you saw him, he was in the same spot. He sat at the conference table surrounded by spreadsheets and graphics and stared perplexed at the piles of paper encompassing him. You knew you could go in and ask him if he needed help, but you wanted to watch him suffer. According to him, you would just do a terrible job anyway.

It was about 7 o’clock when you heard a firm knock on your office door. You expected it to be the cleaning crew asking to vacuum your office. With a ‘come in’ your door opened and your boss’ large body leaned up against the door frame, careful not to enter the office he knew he wasn’t welcome in. While you were shocked he was coming to talk to you, you stayed quiet. If he wanted to talk to you, he would have to break the silence. After a few awkward moments, he did.

“Um, I was thinking about ordering dinner if you wanted to join me.” This was by far the nicest thing he had ever said to you other than ‘you’re hired.’

“Well, what are you getting?”

“I’ll buy you whatever you want for dinner if you take a look at the investor relations portfolio I’m working on.” You were taken aback. He was asking for your help. He needs me, you thought as you smirked to yourself.

“Make it the Italian place down the street and we have a deal,” you countered. You didn’t want to spend anytime with him at all but you were taking this as a sign that 1) he wasn’t firing you, and 2) he thought you did good work. Also, their spaghetti bolognese was calling your name.

Soon you were both knee deep in documents and investor information packets. You absolutely could not believe it but the two of you were collaborating well and making real progress on the portfolio. This was the working relationship you always wanted to have with your big shot boss; the opposite of his constant criticism and belittling of your work.

When the food arrived, you both decided to take a break and eat like an entire company’s stock shares weren’t resting on your shoulders. While your conversation stayed surrounding work, it inevitably steered towards the account he had taken away from you.

“So, how’s my campaign doing?” you asked. You knew it was a risky question but you two had been getting along and you decided you needed an update on the account that had become your baby.

“I gave it to Marcus and-”

“Marcus? Really?” You interrupted him. “Marcus is a shithead.” Your baby deserved better than Marcus.

“You didn’t let me finish,” he said in a joking manner, with a small smile. The smile was just big enough for you to notice that he had dimples. He had never smiled in front of you before. “He’s doing a horrendous job and I was going to give it back to you on Monday.”

“Thank you. I appreciate the second chance,” you confessed. “Can you level with me for a minute?” you asked after a moment of silence. “Why did you rip into me like that? You could have just told me that it wasn’t right for me and taken it away.”

You watched him think for a moment. He scratched at his five o’clock shadow (that was more like a 9 o’clock shadow now) and you could tell he was searching for the right words.

“Because it got you fired up, but I could tell I hurt your feelings and I apologize.” You never expected an apology for the way he acted and you no longer regretted showing him your emotions. He had hurt you and he should feel bad for it. “I thought you were getting complacent in your ideas and you’ve been killing it since Monday.”

“Thank you for the apology. Here I am thinking you did it just to be a dick.”

“Is that what people in the office really think of me?” He looked genuinely hurt and you felt slightly guilty for being the bearer of bad news. But you hoped if he saw it from his fearful employees’ perspective he would lighten up a little.

“Do you want me to be honest?” He nodded his head. “You act like you have a stick so far up your ass it’s touching your brain and that you’re better than everyone else because your suit costs more than my rent.” If he never minced his words, why should you?

“Oh Y/N, tell me what you really think,” he said after a pause with a light chuckle. You were surprised by his reaction. You never expected him to take something like that so well.

“Listen,” you began again. “I understand and respect your toughness on us. But there is a line between criticism and just being mean.” You decided this was a time to call him on his shit, during this very very rare moment of comradery between you. You wanted to have a healthy relationship with him, maybe even a friendship.

“I understand that I can get a bit harsh. It’s just the whole ‘is it better to be loved or feared’ thing. I’ve always thought fear would be the safer option.” You felt like you were getting to pull back the layers of his hard shell and see the human being underneath for a brief period of time.

“But if you were truly loved, no one would ever betray you,” you whispered softly, always the romantic.

“Love has never been reliable, has it?” Your heart broke for him and you realized someone doesn’t become as hardened as he is overnight. Something did this to him.

“What about love being the most powerful force on earth?” you wiggled your eyebrows at him, referring to the slogan for an engagement ring campaign you were both working on.

“Well, when your wife tries to steal the company that you built together and run away to Spain with her personal trainer, love gets a little bit more complicated.” There it is, you thought to yourself. This was the first time he ever felt like a real person to you; not like a teflon shell of anger, wealth, and ambition. His features looked softer and he seemed less like your evil boss, and more like someone dealing with a painful trauma.

“I’m sorry, Harry,” you said softly, genuinely meaning it. “Oh shit, sorry. Mr. Styles,” you corrected yourself. He laughed at your mistake and you watched his dimples reach their full potential. He looked down at the table, obviously a little uncomfortable with his rare moment of vulnerability with the woman who was probably the biggest pain in his ass in the office. Before you knew it, you had decided to share your own uncomfortable vulnerability.

“My ex put me in the hospital while I was still living in New York,” you began, watching his eyes immediately jump to yours and listen intently.

“Oh Y/N, you don’t have to talk about this… I didn’t mean-,” he tried to stop you but you figured if he shared with you, you could share with him.

“No, it’s okay. It’s been a long time,” you reassured him, shaking your head softly. “We were fighting because I found out he had been cheating on me. I had packed a bag and was trying to leave when he pushed me down the stairs of our apartment building. I broke my arm in two places and I had to have a few surgeries.” You rolled up the sleeve of your blouse and showed him the scar that ran down your forearm. You scanned his face and it looked like he genuinely cared about you for a moment. You brushed it off. “After that, I decided I needed to leave New York.”

“Why London?” he said gently.

“I was obsessed with this English boy band when I was growing up,” you laughed. “I guess I romanticised London in my head and decided it might be a good place for a fresh start.”

“While I’m incredibly sorry you had to go through all of that to get to London, I’m very glad that you found your way to me,” he spoke tenderly. His face was serious, but not the seriousness you were used to while getting scolded about your work. It was gentle and like he meant every word he said. You were happy you found your way to this version of him too.

“To the firm, I mean,” he corrected himself and you felt a weird pang of sadness inside of you. You are just his employee, remember that, you thought to yourself.

“I’m happy I found the firm too. If only I could figure out how to deal with my hellish boss?” you asked sarcastically, rolling your eyes dramatically and laughing at him. You realized that this could definitely be taken as flirting, but you decided were okay with that.

“Maybe they’re just trying to push you because you are by far the best campaign director they have,” he said nonchalantly, leaning back in his seat and watching your every movement. You felt your cheeks heat and the rush of adrenaline from finally getting his validation. This was all you ever wanted from him.

“Oh, I know,” you smirked, leaning back in your own chair and studying him as well.

He really was gorgeous. His quaffed hair had fallen over the course of the day and a few stray pieces hung on his forehead. His black dress shirt fit him so well. You were fully able to appreciate the tailored fit after he had shrugged off his blazer and removed his tie, unbuttoning the top few buttons to reveal glimpses of two swallows that sat on his collarbones. A chain that you had never gotten to see hung around his neck, a cross and the Star of David resting on his chest.

“We should get back to work,” he murmured after a few extended moments of staring at each other.

“Probably.”

You two worked for another hour or so before you let out a small yawn and Harry insisted you both call it a night. Although you protested and told him you were fine, he was firm in his demand that you go home and rest. As you packed up your things in your office, he hovered in the room and watched your every move. Conversation was relaxed and casual, not stained with the malice you usually had towards each other.

He took your briefcase from your hands, offering to help as you struggled to carry a poster and a few proposal binders, and carried it as you walked in step with each other out of the office. When you reached the front doors and went to go your separate ways, you were met with a puzzled look on his face.

“Where are you going? The parking garage is this way?”

“Oh, I don’t have a car. I take the tube wherever I have to go.”

“Let me drive you home,” he offered. When you denied his proposal, you were met with a stern, “Let me drive you home or you’re fired.”

Although you fought him the entire walk to his car, asserting that you were fine to take the train, you climbed into his beautiful jet black sports car with a huff and a pout. He had a triumphant smirk on his face that you were tempted to slap off, but decided to take this as a sign from the universe that you just weren’t meant to get blisters from your heels walking home tonight. You watched as his long fingers gripped the steering wheel skillfully and you both sat peacefully, the silence between you only interrupted when you gave him occasional directions to turn right or left. The soft sounds of a Fleetwood Mac song you couldn’t remember the name to flowed through the speakers and his mouth silently lip-synced the words. You admired him the whole drive home and you didn’t want to get out of the car when he pulled up to your building.

You both departed the car, walking around to the trunk where he had stashed your briefcase. Your casual conversations had long passed, both of you beginning to mourn the night you had together. You had enjoyed this night far more than you anticipated and you hoped this would be the first of many late nights at the office that he would join you for. You looked up at him when he handed you your briefcase and you both stood there in silence for just a few more fleeting seconds, neither of you wanting to be alone yet. You were first to break the noiseless night.

“Thank you for dinner and the ride home, Mr. Styles.”

“Please call me Harry,” he said with a subtle smile, stepping up on to the curb, closing much of the space between you.

“I can do that, Harry.” His first name felt foreign on your lips but it was a welcome change.

“Thank you for all your help tonight. I needed your fresh set of eyes on that portfolio.” This interaction felt so intimate; his words hushed and complimentary, intensified by his body’s proximity to yours.

“Whenever you need me,” you breathed, refusing to break the eye contact you were both desperately holding on to.

With one swift step he pressed your bodies and your lips together, backing you up until your body pressed against his car. You dropped your briefcase to the ground and your hands flew up to the base of his neck. He tasted like the lemon cookie he had ordered for dessert and you smelled his intoxicating cologne as you drank each other in. His hands snaked their way under your blazer and rested on your hips, pulling you impossibly closer to him. His kiss was deep and demanding and you weren’t sure if you ever wanted it to end.

This morning you couldn’t stand to be in the same room as him and mere hours later you were ready to bring him up into your own. He was infuriating and rude and knew just how to push your buttons. But, he also seemed to be gentle, kind, and thoughtful when he wanted to be. Harry Styles was an enigma. You couldn’t wrap your head around him and it drew you to him even more.

Your bodies flowed in perfect sync with one another and your open-mouthed and hungry kisses were so hypnotizing you couldn’t think. Harry was the only person that existed to you anymore, tuning out the murmurs of a passersby, and anywhere your skin touched his was lit on fire.

Finally coming up for air, you breathlessly peeled your lips away from the other. You both refused to break your eye contact, your hands gripping tight to his biceps to steady your weak legs, and scanned each other’s faces.

“You have a little something,” he murmured, reaching to wipe your smudged red lipstick from your bottom lip with his thumb. You leaned into his touch and smiled up at him.

“So do you,” you panted, staring at his lips that were now stained red.

You both just stood there for a little while, soaking up the other’s company before you pulled away and things got more complicated. He was your boss after all, was this even allowed? Did he want to be something more than coworkers? If things ended poorly, would you still be able to work together? Would he be nicer to you now?

“It’s late. You should get some sleep,” he eventually broke the silence and your spiraling thoughts.

“I agree. You worked me real hard today,” you smirked at him, unable to pass up the innuendo. An amused grin spread across his lips and he took a step back from you, releasing you from his grip against the car. He gathered your things you had dropped on the ground during his assault and handed them back to you.

Harry leaned forward and pressed a kiss to your cheek that lingered a little too long to be considered friendly. It made your cheeks burn.

“I’ll see you Monday, sweetheart” was the last thing he said to you before he climbed back into his car and drove off into the night.

Part 2

#harry styles fanfiction #harry styles #harry styles one shot #harry styles angst #harry styles fluff #harry styles x reader #harry styles x you #harry styles x y/n #harry styles drabble #harry styles blurb #boss!harry #CEO!harry #one direction #harry styles au #harryandhockey

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theyarebothgunshot · 4 years ago

Note

I’d be very interested in your thoughts on the JIB8 cockles panel. just a suggestion for your rewatch 👀

i’ve seen the jib8 panel so many times, because it’s honestly one of the wildest things i have ever seen and i just never get tired of it.

first of all i want to give you my take on the overall vibe, and then second of all i will get into the details and link to certain timestamps in the video.

disclaimer: i am not gonna be linking to every single thing i talk about, but i will try my best to link to the moments that stand out to me the most. i have read long posts about this panel before, so not everything in this post is gonna be original or said for the first time ever, simply because there is a good chance that information has stuck in my mind and has subconsciously formed my view of this panel. this is also in no way, shape or form gonna be coherent, unfortunately. i’m just gonna hope that the cockles hivemind will be able to make sense of this regardless. love and light. and lastly, this is all in good fun, so don’t come at me if you think this is too out there please and thank you.

fun fact: i was today years old when i found out that the airbnb story took place one day before this panel. what a sexually charged weekend that was for them dude (gn).

the vibe that i get from this panel is that their moods were off before they got on stage, and where misha kind of looks tired and not 100% enthusiastic about things, jensen apparently decided to get drunk and is trying to make it look like he is thriving. yet, a little while into the panel we learn that it has been an emotional rollercoaster of a day for him, which might have something to do with the overall mood. then again, it could be that something else happened in between the autographs and that panel, who is to say?

i have talked about the d/s subtones in their interactions before and this panel makes my radar ping like nobody’s business. if my interpretation of their dynamics is right, then one could assume that jensen was being very bratty on purpose, trying to stir up a reaction in misha, and i think he probably got what he wanted (more or less. maybe he thought misha would find it more amusing than he did, or but honestly, at that point they have already known each other for nearly 10 years so odds are he knew what he was doing and how misha would react to it. it would surprise me greatly if these two didn’t work out their mutual frustrations with the day and each other after this panel ended- in the bedroom.)

i genuinely think i have never seen jensen flirt more openly and aggressively with misha, ever, and i have never seen misha in the state he was in during this panel either: tired, a little annoyed about the fact that jensen was going off the deep end and that he was not able to stop him, to the point where he just gives up and says things like ‘when in rome’ etc. let’s get into it.

the mood is set from the very first second: misha is kinda subdued, and jensen is being a bit of a clown, coaxing misha to join him in the madness, which he does to a certain extent.

we are off to a great start with not just one [0m15s], but two [0m20s] moments in which i just know in my bones they wanted to hold hands. how do i know? because i have been there my fucking self. wanting to hold hands with your crush when you are drunk and acting silly is a love language okay.

as soon as they sit down, misha tries to make conversation and jensen just starts pushing him and pushing him, [1m11s] saying ‘shut up’ and ‘yeah it’s really stupid and it embarrasses me’, but misha tries to ignore it at first and just marches on through. which is probably why i never see people talk about that little comment. it embarrasses jensen when misha sits like that? why would he need to feel embarrassed by his friend’s actions? kinda weird tbh, sounds like husband behavior to me. i have a feeling that when misha said ‘by which he means it’s an innie’, jensen REALLY had to bite on his tongue not to go all ‘you weren’t complaining this morning’ or something like that. look at his face bro [1m55s].

and then jensen opens up his legs like the little tramp (affectionate) that he is and when misha tries to stop him he just TURNS to misha with said open legs like a mad man and goes ‘here’s the thing. pick a leg.’ [2m05s] LIKE? who DOES THAT? that is insane people behavior!!! admittedly i am a cis woman and i don’t have conversations with male friends about their bodily anatomy all that often, but i legit cannot phatom that this is a normal thing to talk about with your platonic buddy. pick a leg for me to rest my dick on, old buddy old pal. NOBODY DOES THAT. it’s not even something that i would consider flirting because even though i am into men, i would not find that arousing? so it’s either an action to provoke annoyance in misha or it’s something they have discussed before or both. because misha immediately understands what he means, starts shaking his head in frustration, and actually turns to jensen as if to say ‘are you fucking kidding me right now? really? you are really doing this?’ followed by a ‘this is making me feel so uncomfortable’ aka one of the phrases they both like to use even though they never mean it.

then when jensen actually goes up to do his ridiculous mating dance and sits back down again, he automatically sits down with his body turned towards misha.

quick side note: if anybody understands what the joke was about when they talked about ‘cas has big dolls’ i would love to hear it, because that has never made any sense to me, but it’s probably a me problem lmao.

when misha goes ‘could you watch your language please’ i think that’s a sign that he is genuinely getting a bit frustrated [4m53s] with jensen even though he is obviously playing it off as a joke. right after he says that, jensen puts his fingers against his mouth, as if to shut himself up. i know that a lot of people don’t wanna read too much into body language but hey, i am writing an analysis here so work with me for a sec: i think that could be a subconscious decision to listen to what misha is telling him to do, which ties into the d/s dynamics i’ve mentioned earlier.

i know people always go crazy when misha goes ‘what did i tell him’ [5m19s] and jensen whispers in his ear. i personally think misha probably told him about the fact that they booked kansas the band, but it’s still pretty telling that that is how misha would react to the question if something he told him is public knowledge. evidently that goes to show that there is enough that misha tells jensen that cannot be shared with the public, which i thought is interesting.

now that i am watching it again, the ‘j*red would have just said it’ comment kind of stumbles around in my brain asking me to dissect it. let’s just say that i wouldn’t be surprised if they were both thinking back on the many, many times that j*red put his foot in his mouth and made a suggestive comment about jensen and misha’s relationship.

god i just cringed [6m14s] watching jensen interact with that first girl who asked a question and he just goes off on her about how twins are cool and misha is shaking his head lord oh lord and that is the minute daniella decides that hey maybe they need even more alcohol lmfaoooo it’s a lot. poor misha i genuinely feel bad for him.

and then he goes ‘real men have twins’ and looks at misha and misha is still not having it so he goes ‘it’s just a shirt’ like girl (gn) pleASE that’s husband behavior, yet again, why else would he feel the need to clarify it. ‘look babe don’t be mad or jealous i don’t mean anything by it, it’s just a shirt’ i hate him.

i just know misha would have wanted to take the apple juice away from jensen lmao.

one of the moments [9m35s] that always stands out to me is when they go ‘that’s why we don’t bring steven’ ‘that’s right, that’s why he’s not allowed’ idk how to explain it but the way that just flows out of them so naturally feels very coupley for some reason.

i think we can all agree that jensen’s reaction [12m22s] to misha’s ‘i always wear orange underwear’ story is completely fake, right? because there is no way he didn’t know that, and his reaction was very exaggerated. plus, the little gesture to make misha show his underwear? bitch, please. whipped. there was also exactly zero reason for him to come that close to misha in order to inspect the color of his underwear.

the one thing that i wonder about, though, is why misha didn’t know jensen was wearing the famous underbear briefs? but as i am writing this i realise that even if they slept in the same hotel room, there are obviously a few different possible reasons why misha didn’t know what underwear jensen was wearing that day: either jensen showered and changed in the bathroom, so by the time he faced misha again he was fully dressed, or misha had to leave their hotel room earlier than jensen, or jensen changed while misha showered, etc etc.

in any case……. jensen dropping trou in the middle of this fucking panel? absolutely batshit insane, 10/10 thank you for your service nesnej.

this [13m54s] is where shit really starts to hit the fan. jensen is OUT OF CONTROL. the long stares??? the ‘rawr’s??? ‘you didn’t even get the full picture’??? (sidenote i would love to know what misha whispered to him right after).

OKAY so. when the girl mentions j*red and jensen goes all Knowing What’s Up and says ‘oh he has had a rough time today. misha kept us up way too late last night. *glances at misha* rrrrrrr’ listen. the only reason i am not reading too much into this is because i do not believe they had a threesome with j*red but also the way he said it was very sus and my mind can’t help but wonder if they were disgustingly flirty and way too touchy feely in front of j*red whilst drunk and honestly that’s probably the case.

of course this is followed [15m15s] by the insane man saying ‘by the way they go down to here’??? and the potentially whispered ‘i’ll show you later’?????? sir i have a lot of questions. number one: how dare you?

bless this next person for this question, because she starts her sentence with: ‘people who have been together for a long time…’ i actually already made a post about this once so i implore you all to read that because i still stand by what i said in there.

it is of course followed by them both not being able to think about ANYTHING appropriate to say to the question if there is anything they only do in front of each other that doesn’t involve pants. and then misha goes ‘why don’t i just share a private moment that we had’ and jensen’s first instinct is to say ‘shit’. i mean. i am merely perceiving.

this is the moment we realise that it has been quite The Day for them, but especially for jensen, because he has been emotional earlier in the day. which, again, could explain his demeanor during the panel. trying to distract himself. notice that he gets up and shakes his legs again and goes for a drink the second misha starts to tell the story: coping mechanisms aka distraction, just like he did at the start of the panel.

the moment where he goes ‘it’s hitting me now. shit.’ really solidifies this theory for me, that he has been acting like a goofy drunken guy all panel, in order to drown out the emotions he felt that afternoon, but alas. once he started to talk about it, it still all came back to him.

i will say this though: it kind of warms my heart that he was so touched by the fact that the fandom spawned something good. makes me feel slightly less dumb for forming parasocial relationships with that man. only slightly, but still.

misha going ‘god he’s so grouchy’ [25m32s]? say it with me, folks: husband behavior. once again misha tries to talk jensen down and jensen listens (sort of). say it with me, folks: d/s behavior. and RIGHT after that jensen walks towards misha with this intense fucking stare in his eyes that makes me feel like i am intruding, and then after he gets another drink (nesnej, why?) he just. gently massages misha’s neck and shoulder before draping his arm around him? and his hand lingers when he goes to grab the keychain? okay.

insert the famous ‘when in rome’ debacle lmao misha was so done with jensen by then it’s so hilarious. the funny thing is that misha says ‘what i mean is show each other our underwear, nothing weird. you can’t look at me like that, because of what you did’, while the question was ‘what would dean and cas do in rome’ and not ‘what would jensen and misha do in rome’ but clearly, once again, the actors cannot make a distinction between the two. interesting :) it also wouldn’t surprise me if jensen has told him to tone down the dean/cas answers but now that jensen decided to fully flash him on stage misha is like ‘sorry but i am not playing by your rules after what you did’ lmao. of course, jensen’s reaction is to go back to parting his legs for misha, like he is challenging him. i mean. you can’t make this shit up.

am i the only one who thinks that jensen might be thinking dirty thoughts when misha repeats ‘what would dean and cas do’ [27m50s]? because like. that’s quite a face he is making.

when he says ‘i don’t know how to answer that’ and misha agrees, idk, for some reason i get the feeling that that’s in the sense of ‘i don’t know how to answer that in a way that won’t get our fans’s hopes up because we know what they would want and we know what we would answer but we can’t go there’.

i really feel like the final straw for daniella was the way that jensen reacted to that last question like he was gonna have another breakdown lmao and that’s why the rest of the cast and crew were pushed onto the stage prematurely. because when you think about it, it’s a pretty rude thing to do when somebody is still answering a question? but okay.

listen - the last 6 minutes of this panel are so chaotic sdjfhsjh the only thing i can conclude from it is that jensen is hella drunk but we’ve been knew. his mood changes by the fucking second. i love him and his little dance and how he sits down on the stage. i feel like i might be jensen coded when i am drunk. i too get slutty and unpredictable.

so anyways long story short: jensen was hella drunk and wanted to provoke misha, it worked, they had hot sweaty sex after this panel, and the fact that jensen got drunk enough to entrust misha with taking care of shit during the panel makes me very emotional for some reason, and i just love them a lot. thank you for coming to my ted talk.

#cockles #i am sorry this is such a mess lmao but enjoy i guess?#jib 8 #alsaurus-loves-dean #i edited in the timestamps because apparently the links dont work on mobile and just jump to the beginning of the vid. sigh

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mystical-marauder · 4 years ago

Text

Painting stars

Sirius enters an art shop, hoping to finally buy the supplies he'd been saving up for for months, but walking through that door brings him much more than expected

This is my first oneshot and I hope you like it and I'll post more writing like this hopefully and my writing can also be found on ao3 my username is @loveglowslikethemoon hope you enjoy :)

Today had been pretty quiet with only a couple customers and the shop was closing in 10 minutes, I was ready to go home...

Ding!

I look up from my book, ‘What kind of customer turns up this late?’ I think. I look around to the door, standing there is a tall, handsome young man, his grey eyes excitedly glancing over the shop, his black hair tied up into a bun. His fair skin is disrupted only by a small beauty mark, under his eye. The confident smile that suddenly splits his face as he turns to me, brings out two dimples that break his otherwise smooth cheeks.

"Afternoon! I'm looking for art supplies, I mean I am in an art shop" he says, chuckling. "I actually need some advice, you have a very wide selection and I'm not quite sure what to pick." he gestures vaguely at the shelves full of pencils and brushes, paint and charcoal, canvases and sketchbooks... "You see I love painting but I have no idea which brushes to use, it's embarrassing really."

"There's nothing to be embarrassed about, actually it's quite common, that’s what I’m here for” I reply with a smile “So you said you paint, right? What do you need, brushes, paint, canvases…?”

“I… um… I actually need everything… You see my parents, well, they kicked me out… and I left everything there… but I've finally saved up enough money to buy new supplies so here I am” he explains chuckling nervously. I look around nervously, unsure what to answer to that but I try to remain as steady and professional as possible.

“That's… terrible, I’m so sorry.” I say, smiling nervously, trying to seem comforting.

“It’s alright, it’s a good riddance I guess.” he replies cheerily “so about those supplies, what do you recommend?”

“Follow me, I’ll show you my recommendations. You’ll have to tell me a bit more about your style of painting so I can give you my best advice.” I say, leading him over to the shelves.

I quickly give him an overview of the different supplies before giving him a more detailed review of each product and advice. We slowly go through the shop and I don’t even notice the minutes fly by. As I walk to another shelf, I catch a glimpse of the clock. I should’ve closed the shop half an hour ago but I decide to leave it. I was having fun. What was the harm of staying open a little while longer? As the minutes pass, our chatter becomes less professional and more friendly. We talked and laughed together and soon enough, we’d picked out all his new art supplies.

“Well there’s everything you need!” I say, walking back to the counter. I start counting the price while chatting to him. “That’s £81.99, the easel is on the house for being such an amiable customer. Do come back if you ever need anything else, it was a pleasure to serve you.” I smile sadly, it had been more than a pleasure and I wish we didn’t have to say goodbye now.

“Thank you” he answers, giving me another of his confident smiles “I- I was wondering if umm… this might sound a bit weird but-” his piercing grey eyes quickly shift away, his normally confident appearance fading to show a childlike nervousness. “Before I left home, well, before I was forced out, I was studying anatomy, and well… I think you'd make the perfect model… Would it be alright if I painted you? If you don't mind, of course. Please don't feel forced to accept anything, but I'd love it if you do. And we could get a chance to get to know each other a little better, maybe somewhere where you don't work.” he clears his voice, as though happy to get this over with, and shifts his grey eyes back to me, his confidence returning. A new childish smile splits his face, as though it had never left it.

My eyes widen as I register what he just asked, and I quickly look away, embarrassed. ‘Perfect?’ as the word races through my mind again and again, I feel my face heat a little. Perfect? Me? No one had ever even called me pretty, let alone perfect, but now this man, who looks like a model himself, wants me to model for him and used that word to describe me. I return the smile, although mine is more nervous than childlike. He tilts his head slightly as though reading my emotions but seconds later, he lets out a small laugh which I quickly copy, trying to diffuse the awkwardness that flourished in me throughout this interaction.

“Are you sure you want me? I mean-” I cut off as I watch him nod confidently “alright I'd love to then!” I answer him, flattered, yet I can't stop the slight shake of my hands. What if I mess up? What if he ends up hating me?

“See you then” he says happily, turning away with a wink. I watch him as he walks out, finding myself to be grinning like a child, like him. I only have one thought left, ‘I don't have to say goodbye.’ I stay standing there for a few minutes with this thought before I snap back to reality. My eyes snap to the clock.

“Fuck” I whisper as I work out the time. If my boss finds out I closed the shop two hours late, I'm done for. ‘Oh well, it was worth it’ I think ‘and anyways he might not even find out.’ I start packing my bag when I suddenly realise he didn't give me a name let alone an address, how was I ever going to find him?! My eyes trail back to the door but of course he is long gone by now… I look around, panicked, as though expecting something to magically give me his address and that's when I notice the folded piece of paper on the counter. I slowly open it, my fingers trembling at the thought that it may not be what I think. I flatten out the paper and quickly read the snippet of writing. I smile inwardly, holding the small, unfolded piece of paper, relief slowly flooding through me as I trace the sentence again and again with my eyes, struggling to believe the evening's events.

19:30 tomorrow room 29 Mirror Hotel - Sirius Black

“Sirius Black” I whisper softly, smiling. “It's nice to meet you, Sirius Black”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I try to steady my hand as doubt rises in me again, one thought racing continuously through my mind ‘What if I mess up?’ I reach out and knock on the door hesitantly. I wait for a few seconds, yet it feels like an eternity, before the door is swung open.

“Found my note I see!” he exclaims, standing in the doorway with a huge grin lighting up his face. I smile back, trying to look as confident as he did.

“Here I brought you this” I reply, showing him my bag. I take out a small black book and present it to him, “it’s my favourite book, actually I was reading it when you came into the shop, I thought that maybe...” I trail off, embarrassed. I rub the back of my neck, feeling the warmth radiating from my palm. “I just thought maybe you'd find it interesting, I've read it so many times I practically know it off my heart” I laugh quietly, quickly glancing up at him “sorry I'm rambling”

Sirius looks at me, curiosity in his eyes. A small laugh escapes his lips before he turns to me and takes the book. He flips it, seemingly interested before looking back at me and taking a step back, to free the entrance. “Well why don't you come in?” he asks, before marking a pause, “I'm sorry I don't think I caught your name.”

“I'm Remus.” I respond, looking back up at him.

“Remus, that's a nice name.” he comments, his grin never leaving his face “the book seems interesting! I'll be sure to give it a try” I listen to him talk while I walk into his room, which is surprisingly organised. There isn't much, a table with an old laptop on it, two chairs, a bed, which takes up most of the space, a set of drawers, a small window and, in the corner, the art supplies he'd bought the day before. “You can sit here” he tells me, pushing one of the chairs towards me, I take it and sit down, putting my bag down next to it, unsure what to do next, I watch him walk over to the corner and pick up his art supplies.

“What do I need to do?” I ask, my hands still trembling slightly in my lap.

“Nothing, don't worry” he replies “just sit there and relax, there's nothing to be scared of” he addresses a friendly smile at me, pulling up the other chair to face me and setting up his easel in front of it. He takes out a brush and some paint, mixing them on his palette, and starts moving his hand up and down the canvas in big yet careful gestures. As the minutes pass, I start to feel more relaxed, watching his movements getting smaller and slower. “So, tell me a bit about yourself” he says, his eyes not moving from the canvas.

“Hmm oh well my life isn't very interesting. I grew up here with my parents, they're both gone now. I work in an art shop, as you know, I really like reading and I don't know what else to tell you…” I answer, thinking that my life must be too boring for him.

“That sounds interesting to me, you must know the surroundings pretty well then! Maybe you could show me around a little, I've been here for a few months but I still manage to get lost sometimes.” he tells me, chuckling.

“I'd love to, but only if you show me how to paint” I reply, nodding happily. As the minutes turn into hours and his painting progresses, we keep talking, about everything and nothing. It felt easy to talk to him, no not easy, right. Soon enough, I knew him like he'd been my friend for years. While we talk, his eyes tend to stay on the painting but sometimes they glide over to me, snapping back to the painting seconds later. In what felt like a short period of time, yet was a few hours, the painting was finished.

“Are you ready? If I'm honest, I'm a little nervous but if it's bad, blame it on the fact I couldn't paint for the past few months.” he admitted with a nervous chuckle, grabbing the canvas and hesitantly turning it towards me.

‘wow’

That's it. That's the only thought that went through my head as my eyes met themselves on the canvas. It's so beautiful and…

“Well? What do you think?” he urges nervously. I suddenly notice his hands trembling slightly and his eyes watching me intensely. He always seems so confident, yet I can see the fear in his eyes now.

“It's so… It's stunning… I'm speechless” I reply, looking him in the eyes quickly before turning back to the painting. The painting looked so realistic, my light curly brown hair and pale green eyes standing out against my pale skin, there is only one alteration. Instead of the freckles that normally sprinkle my face, are little stars. They're beautiful, shining like the stars I can now see from the window.

“Your freckles, they're beautiful, they look like the stars in the night sky. I thought I should paint them as such… They're like little beacons of hope and friendship, when I walked into that shop, I never thought I'd make a new friend, and well, thank you for giving me hope.” Sirius looks at me, his eyes sparkling with the same hope he was talking off. As I look at him, straight into his eyes, I feel a smile reach my lips, knowing my eyes have the same sparkle in them. And as our eyes dig deeper into one another, as we share a smile of happiness of who we found, the minutes slow, as though this moment was frozen in time, which I wish could be the case. Suddenly, we both break eye contact, as though embarrassed by the connection we'd both felt in that second. We both look back up to the painting, our eyes meeting again for a second, causing my face to heat a little. I slowly lift myself out of my seat, taking a step towards the painting to get a closer view of the talent etched on the canvas in front of me.

“It's- it's really stunning” I mutter, still speechless, taking yet another step forward. As I slowly edge forward, I notice something, something that had escaped me at first glance, as it usually escapes others' attention. A thin scar, tracing along the bridge of my freckled nose. Freckles which usually hide it, making it hardly noticeable, especially at first glance. A scar that had been given to me when I was only five, by an overexcited grey dog at the park. It's claw had scratched against the skin of my nose, after it had ambushed me. It had left me with a gash, one that never properly healed and could now be observed under the shape of a scar. This scar. The one he had noticed, when no one else had.

“You got my scar” I whisper in amazement. I slowly reach out to touch it, feeling like all that matters now, is this single detail. A small detail yet seeing it there had given me hope. At the last second, I pull my arm back, like an instinct, and, remembering the paint is still wet, I drop my hand to my side.

“Of course I got it, how could I miss it?” as his voice reaches my ears, I glance to my left to find him standing next to me, admiring the same spot as I was. Him. The man who, right now, felt like a dream come true. We both turn to face one another at the same second, almost as though we're in tune with one another. I find myself getting lost in his stormy grey eyes again, knowing that he was looking straight back into my emerald green ones. For a moment, there's no movement, we both stand there in silence, our eyes sparkling at each other, knowing that this is right. A shadow suddenly masks one of his eyes and I understand that a lock of his hair escaped his small bun. I watch it sway slightly before I instinctively take a step forward, closing what little distance is left between us, and reach out. I mark a pause, waiting to see if he'll reject the movement, but nothing happens. Carefully, I grab the small lock of hair and delicately brush it behind his ear.

As I hesitantly move my hand away, Sirius lets out a low throaty laugh, and I suddenly feel compelled to do something I'd never dreamed of. Instead of pulling my hand back, I instinctively slide it down to the back of his neck, cradling it carefully in my hand, and lean forward, closing the distance between us centimetre after centimetre until we collide. It was a short kiss but our movements were coordinated perfectly.

We pull away, almost reluctantly, and I watch his face quickly turn a deep crimson, knowing mine isn’t much better. I watch his eyes, like two storms lost in the middle of all this redness.

“That was… something” my eyes move down, as I utter these two words, as though expecting them to close the distance again. Our faces were still within centimetres of one another, making me struggle not to kiss them again.

“Something utterly spectacular” Sirius laughs breathlessly, intensifying my impulse to lean in again.

The room falls silent again, as I continue to watch the slight quiver on his lips. The only disturbance in the otherwise perfect silence is the sound of light rain splashing against the window and pavement along with our shallow breathing.

For a long while, we stand there, gazing quietly into each other's eyes, not uttering a single word, yet I feel complete, everything I need is right here, in front of me. This man, who has the most luscious hair, elegance and grace radiating from his unpolished appearance, a mischievous yet friendly glint in his eye, who is staring up at me with those mercury eyes.

And in that second, I feel certain that this is where I belong. That being with Sirius is right.

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