#maybe its a foolish thing to be upset about but i feel hollow

[waitingx2xdie]

"I'm not hiding anything from you." Words felt HOLLOW in the wake of the messages Kat had seen on that phone. Made her question EVERYTHING. Perhaps she had no right to be upset. That much was true. They were not together. They had shared no such intimate conversation. Rather, Kat had AVOIDED those conversations at all costs… But they were moments. And there were memories. Had those meant NOTHING? Was Kat so foolish to believe that maybe, just maybe, they’d both been happy sharing in their quiet comforts together? Had she been FOOLING HERSELF that unspoken as it may have been, these feelings did not, in fact, go BOTH WAYS? “I would have liked to know that there was someone else…” Voice was drained of energy, tainted with pain. Crackling as she choked out the words. "Go on. Check the dates." Eyes glanced down at the phone. Did she WANT to see those dates? Could she BEAR to witness those messages? “And you didn’t flirt back?” Brow raised. An olive branch. A careful compromise, concession of trust. Kat wouldn’t look at those dates, and in turn, Nora had one more chance to be UP FRONT & HONEST with her; FORTHRIGHT. Follow-up deflection had her eyes narrowing in judgmental confusion. "What does her age have to do with anything?" She shook her head. “Are you kidding me? You’re telling me you WOULDN’T be more worried about Trent if he was an 18-year-old stud?” Question for question. Counter for counter. Things were TENSE. Seems they both had a lot of lines to draw in the sand. "So what? You're saying if I came home and TOLD YOU some twenty-year-old girl was trying to get in my panties, it would suddenly be OKAY?” 

Head bowed. That much was true… The lack of communication was but a SYMPTOM; COMORBID TO THE PROBLEM AT HAND. The real issue Kat was having was the very IDEA that a twenty-year-old girl was trying to get in Nora’s panties. And Nora was INVITING that attention upon herself. ENJOYING IT. She’d never once so considered that Nora would LOOK ELSEWHERE… That she WOULDN’T BE ENOUGH. “There never should’ve BEEN a twenty-year-old…” She spat as Nora called out to her, admonishing her control, as she shoved her in front of the mirror and FORCED HER to look at the evidence painted in her reflection. “Good…” She finally relented, releasing Nora from her grasp. “No. I’m not happy. Of course, it’s bad. We…” She hesitated, catching her words and avoiding Nora’s inquisitive gaze. “We both should’ve known better…” Another compromise. Was hard for Kat to admit when she was WRONG. Because she was never wrong, but she was wrong about this… She was wrong about Nora… She was wrong to assume… To… To take this for granted… She’d grown too comfortable in the security of their shared fears and doubts. The unknown of what EXACTLY they were while in turn each knowing that something WAS INDEED HERE. Kat supposed, she was the only one who truly knew… And Nora had given up on Kat ever acting on those feelings… So she’d… Gut twisted, ached, pain, she wanted to VOMIT and her hand slipped down to brush against her abs. FUCK IT HURT. "I'm still a human, Kat! I HAVE NEEDS." 

"I'm still a human, Kat! I HAVE NEEDS."

Those had been the words that had TRULY pushed Kat over the edge… It was like a demon had taken control of her, moving like a ghost through her body, and all of a sudden she had Nora pinned and their lips CRASHED & BRUISED. She groaned out and whimpered against those pretty purple lips. Those hands returned the lust, clutching at Kat’s hips as Kat CLUTCHED To those shoulders, eyes fluttering. “Mmmhh~~” Life of its own, one hand slid to press against the hot bare flesh of Nora’s chest, just above her heart as the other tangled into her hair. TUGGING FEROCIOUSLY as she held her close and kissed her deep, tongue BEGGING for access. If Nora had NEEDS then Kat needed Nora to know that didn’t want Nora to NEED ANYONE ELSE. For every need Nora had in life, Kat needed to be the one to be the one, THE ONLY ONE, capable, necessary, wanted, to fulfill them. If their current relationship wasn’t ENOUGH, then she’d give her more than she could take… Heavy breaths, gasps, she cursed softly against those lips, nails SCRAPING  across the bare flesh, tangling up in those curls. “Fuck…” She tasted so damn sweet. Hips bucks, crashing against Nora’s own losing herself in the sharp tear of those nails shoveling into her skin as Nora sunk teeth DEEP into her bottom lip, a sharp inhale, seethed through her teeth, a hard swallow. “I wanna be the only thing you need…” She breathed out before grabbing at the tie and holding her bathrobe together. With nary a thought given to whether she might just RIP IT OPEN, she pulled and reversed their positions, grinding her OWN spine against that mantle and pulling Nora ON TOP OF HER, gripping her hips in turn…

Flash freeze, freeze frame, static as the knife DUG into her spine, severing the chords on its way through to her heart. Tunnel vision, bleary-eyed and hazy. No breath, caught in her throat, burning, suffocating, lungs aflame. Aches in her heart, her lungs, her bones, her skull. Sharp, piercing, like a drill, lobotomy, leucotomy, digging into her brain and prying out the last of her ability to cope. Everywhere and all at once, for all time. With no end in sight. “Should've known it was you." Words replayed in her brain. All the bitterness and scorn. The way she had cowered. “I’m-- I’m sorry… I… I never--... I just… I saw it as I went to grab the remote and…” She’d offered no further justification at the time. And instead just TOOK the cheap shots and scathing remarks. “That's right. I'm not dating either of you and I don't need to tell you every time some girl flirts with me." She was right. OF COURSE she was right. SHE WAS ALWAYS. RIGHT. “You’re right. You’re right, I… I don’t know what came over me…” Hard swallow, anxiety building. “You don’t owe us anything…” Finally she said something RIGHT. Something that spoke to her big sis and helped ease the storm crashing through her heart like one of those Hurricanes that would tear through Florida. “Yeah... We should all calm down... Take a break and recoup..." Now if only THAT had been what happened… Maybe Emily would still be okay…

Chill shuddered up her spine, an ice-cold grasp curling around her heart; CRUSHING IT BENEATH HER RIBCAGE. For those few seconds of complete paralytic shock, she could do nothing but watch as Kat shoved her sister up against the fireplace and shoved that tongue down her throat. Seeing her sister RESPOND WITH APLOMB only further crippled her with sheer agony. “S-Sis… K-K-Kat…” The moans drowned her out and she began to tremble, backing up against the wall, fading against it like a DYING CHAMELEON. “G-Guys…” Hard swallow, tears welling up, vision only blurring further, breath starting to pick up into a PANICKED FEVER. “Nora!” She called out again, slipping down the wall and hugging her knees to her chest, burying her face in her hand, pressing her eyeballs into her own flesh hoping to blind it away only to find her ears FIXATING IN, unable to deafen out the moans and groans of her sister’s UNQUESTIONABLE LUST. Palms plugged at her ears, and she shook. “Nora!!” Again she called out. “Nora!!” And then… Then came what happened next… In a blur of vision and unsteady movements, Emily scrambled to her feet and dashed across the room, wrapping her arms around Nora’s waist and pulling at her, yanking her away from Kat. “NORA!!” The two collapsed down on the couch where she looked up with teary eyes. SNIFFLE. SNIFFLE. Despite her sniffling, she was glaring a hole through her sister’s skull. 

"I'm not hiding anything from you." Voice rose, BREAKING under the stress of the situation. She'd never been in a love triangle before. (or was it a love square?) Being a mother & teacher had mentally prepared her for dealing with tantrums, but it hadn't prepared her for dealing with THIS . Kat might have been acting like a child, but she wasn't one. She was a grown woman struggling with confusing emotions ─ Same emotions they were BOTH struggling with. & IT BROKE HER HEART seeing her in such a state. But, what was she supposed to do? Roll over & take the verbal punches? Let Kat walk all over her because she LOVED HER . ( wait loved her? ) No. Nora REFUSED to be in that type of a relationship. If the brunette wanted to stake claim, she needed to commit. It was only FAIR . "Go on. Check the dates." If she needed proof, she had it right there in the palm of her hand. (of course, she also had proof that nora had reciprocated the flirtation) "What does her age have to do with anything?" Reflexes had her uncrossing arms to catch the phone as it was tossed in her direction, though she had no intention of actually going through the thing. Not that she 'd even know how. Kat's phone was far more advanced than her own. "So what? You're saying if I came home and TOLD YOU some twenty year old girl was trying to get in my panties, it would suddenly be OKAY? " They both knew that was a crock of shit. There was no winning here. Kat was allowed to have a boyfriend she was seeing, but Nora couldn't innocently flirt with someone. Talk about hypocritical.

" KAT! " ─ Scolding tone as the other gripped at her shoulders & turned her toward the mirror, forcing her to look at her own reflection. Skin only further ignited. Painting her as red as a tomato. She'd never been SO HUMILIATED . "Okay, okay! I get it! You've made your point!" Frustrated groan as she set Kat's phone on top of the mantle. Digits dragging through hair, head falling back, "You're right. I'm not stupid. I know she was flirting with me. Happy?" Didn't take a rocket-scientist to figure it out. Darcy had been blatantly obvious. Even aggressive. "And yeah, maybe I let her. Maybe it made me feel good. Is that such a bad thing?" This reminded her of the first, & only time she tried to date a guy after Eric passed away. Tim had shouted at her, called her names, & locked himself in his room. Insisting she NEVER loved his dad. Was it her job to remain miserable & unloved until the day she died? "I'm still a human, Kat! I HAVE NEEDS ." God. She really didn't wanna have this conversation right in front of her baby sister. Girl was having a mental breakdown...

Incredulous scoff, "Should've known it was you." Sounded more bitter than intended. She really didn't want to take this out on Emily. But, could anyone really BLAME HER? ─ She'd been in the shower a total of twenty-three minutes, & in that time her sister had managed to snoop through her private belongings & show Kat. Intentionally getting her all riled up. Couldn't she learn to keep her nose out of her business? WAS THAT SO DIFFICULT? " That's right. I'm not dating either of you and I don't need to tell you every time some girl flirts with me." As if that happened frequently. Lids fluttered & she let out a heavy sigh, fingers rubbing circles into her temple. She could feel the start of a migraine BURNING BEHIND EYES . Emily, the voice of reason? You couldn't have paid her to believe it. But, for once, her sister had a good head on her shoulders. So, Nora breathed. In & out. In & out. Trying her damnedest to calm her RAGING HEART . "Yeah... We should all calm down... Take a break and recoup..."

'I don't like the idea of ​​anyone else… Y'know… With you…'

One more deep breath in through the mouth & out through the nose. Just as she'd taught Tim for when anxiety got to be too much for him. Heavy lids lifted, concerned hazels snapping to Kat as she heard the HEARTACHE in her voice, followed by SOFT SNIFFLING . Was she crying...? Guilt hit her like a freight train, all anger washing away, replaced with concern. POOR THING was trembling. Had she been too hard on her? "Kat..." Whispered softly under her breath, she chewed at bottom lip, taking a step toward ─ THUD & CRASH . Before she could comfort the other, shoulder-blades slammed into the mantle, spine smacking oak. Pain shot through bones, but it wasn't the unwelcome kind of pain... No, it was very, VERY welcome. "Mmngh...!" Loud groan into the shorter woman's bruising mouth, hands moving to clutch at those hips, holding her in place. V of the bathrobe further opening. Exposing the top of her breasts to the room. Were her nipples showing? God, she hoped not. Her sister was still in the room. (as if her sister hadn't had her lips wrapped around one of them the other night...) Eyes shutting, she lost herself in the throes of passion. Nails digging into Kat's hips, pulling her body closer. Matching her aggression. She'd spent too many nights DREAMING of this, to let it slip through her fingers. Teeth toyed with the other's bottom lip. SINKING DEEP & RIPPING AT IT. Was a good thing emotions were so high. She didn't second-guess herself. Just did what FELT RIGHT.

[thoughts-of-the-unheard]

this doesn't go public for another few hours but the zero people who will see this before it does wont even know what camp so it doesn't matter

hi im a teenage girl who works at a nature lodge at a camp in the summer ive been working there for years and since staff lives together for like two months theyre like family when i go to camp, i get up at 6:30 in the morning after going to sleep around 12 or 1am and im busy from 7am to 9pm every day some days its after 9pm we get up and do the flag ceremony and eat breakfast and set up program which is 9am to around 3pm and sometimes its til 5pm if your area has open program that day and i teach kids about rocks and minerals and erosion and dinosaurs and fossils and animal sounds and tracks and the animals we have in the lodge (we catch and release our animals every year from whats on property) and we might do a turtle race and i do that again until lunch then i do it again after for each session and if they have a second day we teach the greenhouse and the bug house and when program is over we do work projects until flags and dinner and sometimes we do work projects after dinner and the last day of the kids stay is chose your own adventure where the areas have all sorts of things to do and leaders chose what the kids do and they build their own schedule and the nature lodge usually does cubs who care and the river tour with some a-quad staff and my personal favorite, tracking, and their last night we have closing campfire where the packs can sign up to do a song or skit and staff does songs and skits inbetween and when all the songs and skits are done staff lines up and sings vespers as the scouts walk away and the nature lodge does a night hike and nav does a storytelling session and the rest of staff do humpty dumpty where we circle up and clap a beat singing (closer to chanting ig) “hump ty dump hump hump ty dump hump ty dump hump hump ty dump say what” and in-between each of those someone goes in the middle and says smth like “mary had a little lamb the doctor was surprised” and other variants and some things ppl say every time and theres smth we have to do with it like singing “its a small world” as all the short people go in the middle and ending with “so get off my world” as we try to intimitate tall ppl and we respond the same but saying “its a tall world” and when people finish in the circle we say “huh aint that funky now” and go back to the chanting and clapping and eventually some admin steps in and says goodnight or its girls shower hour or some other news and from 9-11 its free time essentially and i can go on a walk with my best friend or talk with a group of friends or sit in the dining hall and play games or watch videos or whatever and we do that every day all summer except for the days we check people in and staff weeks where its all work projects and getting ready and shut down week/weekend where its all putting things away for next year and we get nights off where we go to Walmart and fuck around or to some food place like wawa or the energy station or taco bell and bring food back for staff who wanted stuff and we have a Christmas in july event where everyone has a secret santa and theres tons of snacks and we put up a chrismas tree with oradments from all the program areas and we decorate the dining hall and play chrismas music over the speakers with a fire on the projector bc we don't have an actual fireplace and some times admin just does nice things for us like open pool time or pizza and a bonfire or open boating or .22s and shotguns at the rifle range or open archery or chances to tie dye our shirts bc we have certain days were we wear tie dye shirts or hawaiian shirts or oa day with the oa sashes which is the day of the overnighter where scoutcraft takes a bunch of aol’s hiking somewhere (usually the garrison field but sometimes the archery field) to pitch tents and cook dinner and whatever else they do on the overnighter and we don't get paid much but ig that ensures that we aren't there for the money right and sometimes its hard and sometimes its stressful mostly for directors or admin and you might want to cry from smth mean that an angry dad said but theres always that kind mom and her kid to tell you they've been coming to camp for years and they love it and its not fair of that guy to expect us to stop the rain or smth so his campsite isn't muddy and theres always the staff kudos usually written by the kids with their wobbly letters and their kind words to the one with the glasses at or the girl at or the tall one at and the parents who tell admin about the lovely staff and the kids you see every year growing before your eyes and they packs that always come back and the leaders who are friends with the staff and invite us to their campfires and give us food bc we legally cant accept anything else and some staff love camp for the kids, some for it being a summer job, some for being with their friends, some for being away from home, some for being in the woods, and some, like me, who are there for all of it camp is my safe place my home the only place ive even been where just being in the vicinity makes me peaceful i drive the road through camp and im happy, i step foot on property and im gleeful, i stay the summer and im elated, theres nothing bad for me at camp, i mean sure theres always the annoying kid in a pack or the pack that doesn't stop talking long enough for you to teach or the parent whos mean or whatever else might not be the ray of your sun but im not asking it to be perfect, i don't expect it to be, i just want it to be there when i need it and it always has

until now

council cancelled all camps

so these people who work full time overseeing stuff for my camp and the other one in council and all the people who work at the camps and the shop and work with the districts and the packs and troops and crews that are within, these very important, very hardworking people whos priority is always safety, have determined that any in person camping experience is too much of a hazard to conduct and i understand and respect that

but it doesn't stop me from being devastated

it dosent stop me from being angry

two weeks ago we had a zoom call saying we still have jobs and its just going to be a little different this summer, today we have no jobs and im panicing

[findingjoynweirdstuff]

Dream SMP Recap (March 1/2021) - Breaking Point

Sam has been unable to find a cause for the security breach, leaving Tommy trapped. A heated argument in the cell escalates to a horrifying end.

As the rest of server mourns, the Eggpire celebrates. With their biggest obstacle in the way of their objective gone, it’s time for the next step.

It’s the start of the Final Stage.

---

VOD LINKS:

HBomb94

Ponk

Tommy

Tubbo

Ranboo

Jack Manifold

Connor

Badboyhalo

Captain Puffy

---

- HBomb hosts Foolish and Jack Manifold’s episode of L’Cast!

---

The Prison Stream

(This portion of the recap will be more detailed than normal since it’s one long conversation and there are many important lines here, including a couple that were hard to hear during the stream)

---

- Tommy’s stream starts with him making sounds and singing “Roadtrip.” Dream tells him to stop, he’s trying to write a book.

Tommy: “What are you writing, Dream? What are you writing?”

Dream: “None of your business.”

- There’s a little gray and white cat sat on the chest. Tommy says it’s annoying.

Dream: “No he’s not...he’s actually the best thing that’s happened to us.”

Tommy: (Trying to lead the cat away) “Come with me, come with me...you know what I named him, don’t you? Pussboy, Pussboy!”

- The cat returns to its spot on the chest

Tommy: “Oh, Pussboy, you are so ugly.”

Dream: “C’mon, you’re being mean!”

(Tommy punches the cat)

Dream: “Tommy! Stop!”

- Tommy starts singing “Roadtrip” in autotune. Dream tells Tommy that if he can be quiet, he’ll give Tommy more potatoes.

Dream: “I think that...the cat is the best thing that’s happened to us.”

- Sam joins the call to say hello and ask how it’s been going. He’s come to drop more food into the cell. Tommy also picks up a new clock.

- Tommy asks to be let out, but Sam says he still hasn’t found out what the security issue is. Dream asks how long Tommy will be in here for. Potentially for a while, but not forever.

- Tommy protests about how bad the prison has been. He threatens to get lawyers on Sam, he knows Big Law.

Tommy: "Sam...you know I don’t deal very well in...close quarters situations for a long time, Sam. Sam, you remember when you visited me in exile, Sam? Alright, this is worse than that, Sam...let me out. I don’t like this. Let. Me. Out. Sam.”

- Sam insists he’s doing the best he can and leaves.

- Dream tries to say that it’s not that bad. He’s been in there for a long time, but now it’s better! Tommy writes a book to Dream, signs it and throws it to him.

Dream: “I have company. I have a cat -- I mean, technically it’s not my cat, technically it’s your cat, but still! It’s just as good, keeps me company when I write and everything, we talk sometimes -- ‘cause you’re annoying a lot of the time--”

- Dream throws away the clock in the lava, saying they don’t need it. Tommy punches the cat again.

Dream: “Tommy, hear me out, hear me out...what if...we get out together, okay?”

- Tommy is not a fan of the idea, Dream shouldn’t be let out too. He goes over to the cat and shouts at it for being in his spot. He punches Pussboy twice.

Dream: “Tommy...TOMMY, STOP!”

Tommy: “Excuse me! Come this way, come this way, excuse me Dream I’m trying to right-click Pussboy--”

(Dream moves to get in front of the cat)

Dream: “Tommy.”

Tommy: “Come here, come here! Do you like this cat, Dream?”

Dream: “Yes, I do.”

Tommy: “Why?”

Dream: “Because he -- Tommy, he keeps me company --”

(Tommy punches Pussboy again and leads him towards the lava)

Tommy: “Pussboy, this way. Pussboy, this way. Let me show you the light--”

Dream: “He’s probably low, he’s probably low!”

Tommy: “Oh what, you love him? Do you love him? Do you love him?”

Dream: “Yes, I do...Tommy, he’s made things better in here -- okay listen! When you leave, can you sit him down and leave him here?”

(Tommy goes over and punches Pussboy again. He tries to lead Pussboy away again, but when the cat doesn’t come he punches Pussboy twice more, killing him)

Tommy: “Yeah. And that’s what happens when you love something, bitch.”

...

Tommy: “See, now when I leave, when I leave, you’ll have nothing! ‘Cause you are lonely, and you’re m-m-manipulative, you’re a fuckin’ twat, and I mean that.”

Dream: “Tommy...I’m gonna get out! And you just motivated me -- you motivated me all the time, you just -- that was hope, right? The cat was hope -- the cat was hope that I could live a nice life in here--”

Tommy: “And now it’s dead, now it’s dead.”

- Dream insists that he’ll get out, and when he does, he’ll get his revenge on everyone who wronged him. Tommy asks if he’d kill Tubbo. 

- The subject goes back to Dream’s plan of escape.

Dream: “I have a plan. And the thing is, Awesamdude’s never gonna believe you that I have a plan because he thinks it’s unbreakable, unescapable--”

“I have a plan. And you know, there’s a certain someone who owes me a favor, but -- that might be a part of it, but...I do have a plan.”

- They argue about the conditions of the prison again. 

Dream: “I’ve been in here a for hundred times longer than you, and you sit there trying to tell me that it’s so horrible, that it’s so bad -- yeah, it was! But guess what, we have each other to talk to, and we had a cat until you fucking killed it!”

Tommy: “Dream...Dream, and listen to this -- fucking engrave this on you, write this into your arms, Dream...You don’t have me. You’ll never have me. We don’t have each other, alright? I am me, and you are this fuckin’ loser who goes around manipulating people, lying to get what he wants. You are a fuckin’ no one, man, alright? And when I’m going to leave here, you’re not! You might have a favor -- you think, who is it, Technoblade’s gonna be able to come in here to let you out -- Technoblade, he doesn’t like governments, but he likes self gain! You think he wants to piss off the owner of the most POWERFUL building on the entire server, just so that he can get a video that BARELY scrapes the five million view mark -- NO, Dream, alright? You’re a fuckin’ asshole, you’re deluded, you’re delusional, and I fuckin’ hate you.”

Dream: “Okay...yeah, but I have something Techno would want, so...it means knowledge, alright?”

- Dream says that even when he’s in here, he’s more powerful than Tommy outside. Tommy replies that if he wanted to, he could kill Dream right now. The only reason he doesn’t is because they need the revive book.

- Dream says that he will never use the revive book to help Tommy or his friends. Ever.

Dream: “So kill me. Go ahead, come on.”

- When if Tubbo dies, Dream says, they’ll come begging for Tubbo to be revived, and Dream will ask to be let out.

- Tommy then says that this isn’t worse than exile, because in exile, Tommy thought Dream had all the power, and Tommy knows something...he thinks the revive book isn’t real. Jschlatt was just a drunk, why would he have this book?

Dream: “Jschlatt gave me the book -- why else would I switch to Jschlatt’s side?!”

...

“I’m not lying! Jschlatt gave me a revive book after...before he died....because...he said--” (he cuts off here)

- Dream asks why he would be lying about that.

Tommy: “You’re a liar! You’re a liar, and really, through your Netherite armor and skin, I look at you and you know what I see? I see a sad little man who’s insecure about the fact that this server has gotten so far ahead of him that his only little glimpse of power in this world is gone. And I see an insecure, sad little man. So fuck off. You stupid green lad.”

Dream: “Your life...is literally in my hands. Does that piss you off? Does that make you mad? Does that make you so mad that I -- if you kill me -- I MIGHT AS WELL BE A GOD, TOMMY! YOU CAN’T KILL ME, AND I CAN KILL YOU! So what does it mean, that you can’t kill me because of the revive book -- what does that mean? If you can’t kill me, does that make me some kind of god?”

Tommy: “No Dream. I could kill you right now. If I wanted to.”

Dream: “Okay. But you won’t. But you won’t! I could kill you if I wanted to! I could kill you right now, actually.”

...

Tommy: “I don’t think this revive book is real. Schlatt? He’s fuckin’ dead. I’ve seen his grave! His grave is real, his corpse is there!”

Dream: “Okay...Why don’t you go see him then?”

Tommy: “NO -- stop it stop it stop it st--”

--- ---

CANON DEATH: TOMMY

Cause: Punched to death

--- ---

End of stream.

---

- Tubbo, Ranboo and Jack see Tommy’s death message in game chat.

- They go to the prison and Sam is there to tell them what happened. Sam couldn’t get there in time. He didn’t think Dream would actually kill him. They’re all in shock. 

- Tubbo and Ranboo think Tommy will be back. There’s no way he’s actually dead, right? 

- Jack Manifold is in celebration. He got what he wanted! He thought Dream would want Tommy alive, and killing Tommy himself would be an extra jab in the chest for Dream, but apparently not? And now he has a hotel!

- He decides to check on Tubbo and makes sure he’s okay. 

- Jack walks down to the shore and looks up at the prison, and...it hits him. He’s spent months plotting to kill Tommy. Jack realizes his victory feels hollow. Even now, Tommy and Dream have managed to take away this from him. 

- Of Ze Haus, he says that this place no longer means anything to him. He gets a flint and steel and sets it alight, watching it burn.

- He passes by Tommy’s house and finds Ranboo planting red and white flowers outside.

- Jack switches into his L’manburg uniform and walks along the Prime Path.

Jack: “I remember the day I joined the server. The day after the first war. L’manburg was still a big hole, and we built it up. And Tommy invited me to join. And I betrayed him (laughs), so really this has all come full circle.”

“Maybe I was always really just upset because I always felt like he cared more about the discs than...anyone. And I guess I just enjoyed it when we were friends...and...I’ve not really had any friends...since...then, really. Never really wanted any.”

- Jack later speaks with Foolish and tells him that Tommy’s never coming back from prison. Foolish didn’t know him too well, but he’s still a bit sad. When anyone passes, it’s sad.

- Jack heads back out into the wilderness, wandering to the beach area at the edge of the forest where Quackity had his argument with Badboyhalo a while back. There’s something just beyond the hill.

- Quackity meets him there and escorts him back home, telling him he was heading too close to something, could have gotten “a nice view of it.”

- He’s been thinking of writing up a draft of their contract. He also sees the new McPuffy’s.

- Jack tells Quackity that Tommy’s not in the prison anymore. Quackity says they need to talk to him and make sure Jack keeps his hotel. As the rain pours, Jack tells him. Tommy didn’t make it.

- Quackity and Jack have a moment in front of Tommy’s house. Though upset, Quackity says it’s time to get back to work.

Quackity: “Jack...don’t let this affect business. The train doesn’t stop.”

Jack: “No, it only goes faster.”

- Jack also speaks with Antfrost. Antfrost gives his condolences, and says he’ll put together a celebration “of life.”

Ant: “Bad and Sam will be happy...to attend, of course!”

- Afterwards, Jack heads down into Karls nightclub and ends stream there.

- Connor speaks with Sam Nook at the hotel.

- Bad meets Ant at the Holy Land. Ant asks if the church would be a good place for a celebration. Ant sits Bad down to tell him. Bad is overjoyed. 

- Bad says that now, they don’t even have to do any preparations: 

They can move into the Final Stage.

- They get milk for the cake and decide to throw the party at Tommy’s house!

- They meet with Sam at the prison entrance. He sounds dejected.

Sam: “I didn’t think Dream would ever actually...try and kill him”

Bad: (laughs) “Is this the same Dream we’re talking about? It’s Dream, Sam.”

Sam: “I mean...Dream had...I thought I had...broken the will out of him, to do something like that. But he...he did.”

- He says they need to find out what it was -- he wandered around the prison several times and couldn’t find any sign that someone had done something.

- Ant and Bad try to reassure Sam that Tommy signed the waivers, he went to see Dream, and Sam shouldn’t blame himself. Sam doesn’t see it that way.

- They say they’ll talk to Sam later and leave the prison. They see Sam Nook at the hotel. Sam is excited about the new upgrades for the hotel! Tommy will be so excited to see them!

- They return to Tommy’s house and speak with Punz as they make a party floor and sing the Crab Rave song in dudududus.

- Meanwhile, Captain Puffy is grieving, feeling like she failed Tommy. As she logs on, Bad and Ant decide that Puffy might want to join them for the party! 

- Punz meets them there, and they tell him that Tommy’s dead. Punz isn’t sure how he feels, it’s bittersweet.

- Puffy arrives and angrily tells them to leave. What’s wrong with them?!

- The Eggpire sees Sam Nook at the hotel and goes up the floors to find a place to party. Puffy comes up and tells them to find another place to party. They argue again.

- Foolish arrives to visit his room in the hotel. Puffy leaves them. They quarrel about who has the room for the night.

- Puffy mines down the Eggpire’s meeting room. She’s noticed that being a hero hasn’t worked. Sparing people, being merciful, it hasn’t worked. She might need a change of perspective. 

- The Eggpire decides to visit the Egg and break the news to it. They see the wreckage, but Puffy is in the Nether by the time they get there.

- Puffy visits Logsted.

- The Eggpire goes down to the Egg Room and finds the pathway blocked up with obsidian...is this why the Vines have been slower to grow lately?

- They break the barrier and find the Egg drenched in water. They wake up the Egg and it speaks.

“This world is mine. It belongs to me.”

“No no no, I know, but we’ve got something to tell you!”

“I see all...I...am...all...”

“Oh so you--”

“I know all.”

“You know then! Guess -- well, we’ll tell you anyway in case you don’t know -- but guess what? Tommy’s dead! Dream -- the green guy, you met him -- killed him in the prison! I guess Tommy got stuck there, and Dream killed him! Are you happy?"

“Feed me...I require nourishment.”

“No no no, don’t worry -- that’s coming soon! We’ll take care of that! We’re already gonna begin the preparations, right guys? Yeah, we’re gonna begin the preparations, and we’ll send out the invitations, we’ll let everyone know...and the final stage can commence! This is wonderful!”

- Once on the surface, Bad announces that with a little more preparation, they’ll all get exactly what they want. The final stage is about to commence. 

The day of celebrations, the day they’ve been preparing for, the day the Egg has been preparing for, is about to happen...

- Bad goes down to the Egg Room one last time and stands at the Egg to give a final speech.

“Everything leading up to this point, EVERYTHING, all the way going back to the discovery of this...beautiful, luxurious Egg, okay...we had it all planned. As soon as we found it, we knew what was gonna happen. We knew the objective...”

“We may have forgotten what it was, forgotten the ultimate goal as soon as we boxed the Egg up in obsidian. But guess what -- that didn’t stop the Egg! Boxing it up only made it STRONGER, and LARGER, and more powerful! And the Egg’s been storing up that energy, okay? You may have been thinking the Vines have not been spreading...but that’s because we haven’t WANTED them to spread. We have been working, storing energy, storing power...in preparation for the final plan. The final objective. And there were only a couple people getting in the way. But guess what? One of the biggest obstacles -- Tommy -- is no longer in the way...now that he’s not in the way, we can commence with the final stage...the final party...before it all comes to a conclusion...”

“Brace yourselves...everybody on this server, prepare. Anyone who is anti-Egg...you guys better get ready, because we know who you are. And at the end of the day, the Egg is gonna be victorious. And there’s nothing ANYBODY can do to stop it.”

“Good luck.”

[lightrises]

"Only in allowing her to pass..." — Hornet, The Radiance, and the means by which Hallownest turned its victims against each other

A quick note: I read Hollow Knight as an anti-colonialist text. As such I'll be touching on topics related to colonialism as it's depicted in the world of the game, and said analysis will reflect both a sympathetic take on The Radiance and a critique of The Pale King that won't pull its punches. If this sounds up your alley, hello and thank you for the read! Let us be sad about these bugs together.

———

So!! A while back I realized something about pre-canon that felt rather... "curious" is one way to put it, I think. To wit: for all the effort and scheming and determination The Pale King poured into trying to get rid of The Radiance, neither of his plans involved directly killing her.

Was that his long game? Well, sure, that seems clear enough. His tack changed from luring the moths away from their god and creator to a more literal form of incarceration once the infection became a factor, but at its core the end goal never really changed—The Pale King very sincerely wished to destroy Radiance via obsolescence. The Seer lends us foreshadowing to confirm as much:

[Image descriptions: Two screenshots from Hollow Knight, showing the Seer and Ghost in the Seer's alcove at the Resting Grounds. Across both screenshots, the Seer tells Ghost the following: "None of us can live forever, and so we ask those who survive to remember us. Hold something in your mind and it lives on with you, but forget it and you seal it away forever. That is the only death that matters." End description.]

(Which, by the way and given the context, talk about an extremely unsubtle allusion to cultural genocide huh!!! Whew.)

In any case, we're left with a whole bunch of machinations which build up to... well, two very roundabout attempts at committing deicide. That's kind of weird, all things considered! Why not just do the deed in one fell swoop and get it over with?

This could be for any number of reasons. Maybe the king was devoid of the means to instantly kill another higher being. Maybe his personal sense of scruples stopped him short of signing off on MURDER murder (although, y'know, the aforementioned genocide + eternal imprisonment = still cool and copasectic apparently!). Maybe the long drawn-out cruelty was the point. Maybe the idea of playing fuckign 4D chess with the circumstances was too delicious for him to pass up—that man did love to tinker and stick his claws where they sure as hell didn't belong—or maybe it was a little bit of All The Things. Who knows!!

But interrogating The Pale King's methodology on this count isn't what I'm here for, at least not really. The main reason I raise this question at all is that in her own way, Hornet did too.

"I'd urge you to take that harder path... "

See, going by The Pale King's actions and what The White Lady explicitly says, they both foresaw two outcomes wrt the infection: it can be allowed to spread, or it can be contained. At Teacher's Archives, Quirrel acknowledges the fact that Ghost is expected to do... something about this, but he doesn't elaborate on what HE thinks that's supposed to be apart from the obvious "Gotta bust into Black Egg Temple first". Hornet is the one person who presents to us—to Ghost—what's framed as a third option: confront and destroy the infection at its source.

And she doesn't bring it up like it's just another tactic for Ghost to consider, prim and indifferent to what they would do. She nudges them towards it, actively, up to the point where she throws herself into the fray against Hollow at a juncture that's uniquely dangerous to her and her alone just to make that option feasible.

Even when she's couching it in disclaimers that this is still Ghost's decision to make (and let's be fair, she's extremely not wrong about that lol), no one can pretend Hornet is unbiased. It's obvious in that buttoned-down Hornet kind of way that she is way the hell done with the increasingly tenuous stalemate that's kept Hallownest's desiccated corpse from collapsing in on itself. Personally it's hard for me not to read some Toriel Undertale-esque "My father was too entrenched in his own foolishness to pursue any course of action that would have DEFINITIVELY ended this" shade into her stance here, regardless of whether that's strictly true in canon.

And that bit—Hornet's hopes for an end to Hallownest's stasis, moreover her grim calculation of what needs to be done to get there—that's the bit I find super interesting but likewise tragic and depressing as shit, on multiple levels. In no small part because a) canon itself gestures towards Hornet feeling conflicted about the very plan she's pushing, and moreover b) she has at least two (2) damn good reasons to feel that way.

So, what do I mean by that? Let's look here first:

[Image description: A screenshot from Hollow Knight, of Hornet and Ghost inside the Temple of the Black Egg, standing in front of the unsealed egg itself. Hornet has been struck by the Dream Nail and her dialogue is displayed as follows: "... Could it achieve that impossible thing? Should it?" End description.]

As the curtain is about to drop on things one way or another, Hornet thinks,

... Could it achieve that impossible thing? Should it?

Now, looking at that last bit it's easy to go "Oh no, Hornet's worried that Ghost won't survive killing The Radiance!" And I do think that's part of it: Hornet is, categorically, not her father. By endgame it's clear she's not content to view her Void-borne siblings as tools to be used then disposed of. She's also well aware that as a healthy autonomous Vessel amongst the countless dead, Ghost is the only person left alive who has a fighting chance against The Radiance. Knowing someone is the only qualified candidate for the job doesn't make encouraging them to embrace a probable death sentence any less of a bitter pill to swallow, though. And odds are on that this sentiment extends to Hollow too, who IS going to die no matter what happens here. To put it bluntly, it's more than reasonable to conclude that Hornet hates the absolute fuck out of this.

But I don't think that's all there is to it either. Remember what I said earlier about The Pale King's bids for genocide? Well, it's not like the man deigned to limit his efforts to just the moth tribe.

"We do not choose our mothers... "

On top of everything else—an infected Hallownest being all she's ever known, the fact that she only exists because of the infection, the list goes on—Hornet has spent her life wedged into a position that's been uncomfortable and terminally unglamorous at best: she is both a daughter of her father's kingdom and of Deepnest.

Deepnest, which like the moths and many others was here long before the wyrm and his lady wife swanned onto the scene and the God Become Bug laid claim to everything the Light touched plus a considerable amount of change. THAT Deepnest, which has fought claw and thread to retain its sovereignty against same-said settler king, and for which Herrah not only surrendered her life but also agreed to bed her worst enemy, all in hopes of securing a viable future for her people (put a pin in that last part by the way, I'll come back to it soon).

Two Worlds, One Family (Ft. An Indigenous Woman Trying Her Damndest To Work With What She's Got Versus An Imperialist Who Only Signed Up For This Because He Needed The Political Favor THAT Badly, So It's The Height Of Dysfunctional Actually). Fun times!!!!

The baggage this entails for Hornet is gnarly enough without implications made by The White Lady and the pre-canon timeline of events and even Team Cherry's dev notes that the king may well have looked at baby Hornet, gone "YOINK", then ensured she spent the lion's share of her childhood reared within the pearly auspices of his Pale Court*. That would be rather advantageous for Him Specifically after all, the potential to mold a born foe into a future ally and even have her trained in combat under the same tutelage as her doomed sibling. And far be it from him to stop a grown Hornet—his own flesh and blood too!—from making Deepnest her forever home if she so pleased. He totally wouldn't be reneging on his "fair bargain made" by doing this one simple thing until Hornet came of age, not t e c h nic c a l l y.

If that is indeed the case, there's a non-zero chance Hornet's formative years were a hot mess of cultural alienation and being a good deal more privy than most to just how much of a bastard her father could be. There's an equally non-zero chance that at some point she stood or sat within earshot as The Pale King finally, finally dropped all pretense and euphemism to name the Light for precisely what (for who) it was.

See, in conjunction with the question that started this whole dang train of thought I've been asking this one too: Does Hornet know? When she speaks of confronting "the heart of [the] infection" does she know she's talking about not just a literal person but someone very specific? The Radiance, who god though she may be shares skin in the game alongside Hornet as a native woman screwed over by the same settler king, likewise deprived of her kin and saddled with a life gone horrendously pear-shaped?

I'll assume for the sake of exploring the possibility and because I think it's a likely one anyway that yes, Hornet does know. She knows, and despite everything can't help empathizing. She might even look at Radiance and see bits and pieces both reflected and slightly inversed in her own mother: Radiance was forced to the sidelines while her people—her children, the brood she was meant to lead and care for—died out under The Pale King's rule, and it's no stretch to assume she's at least as upset about that as she has been about everything else; Herrah too took drastic measures for her people's sake, trying to head off annihilation by relegating herself to the sidelines in an act that was as much calculated risk as an attempt to find wiggle room and leverage in the face of a nasty proposition.

A calculated risk that, if things continue as they are, might well amount to nothing as the rest of Deepnest gets eaten alive by the infection. It survived The Pale King's advances for so so long, only to fall here. Herrah's sacrifice would be for naught; the other tribes—themselves the king's victims—would keep succumbing to the infection too.

And this is where things fall apart.

"... or the circumstance into which we are born."

Let's be clear: I think Hornet is wise enough to know what's what here, that all the carnage and suffering falls on her father's head for starting this slow-motion trainwreck in the first place. Hallownest wasn't always Hallownest. This domain was Radiance's home first, along with many others. It was the worm-turned-king who rolled up on the scene unsolicited and decided this was a ""'problem""" that had to be """solved""".

But the fact of the matter is that he's gone and The Radiance is here, raging, seemingly inconsolable. Above and beyond being Deepnest's rightful heir, Hornet isn't in a position to countenance more splash damage even if the grief and fury fueling it makes perfect sense. She can understand without ever bringing herself to love Radiance, and she can bend her knee to practicality even if she hates the everloving shit out of it because the fact that it "has" to end this way isn't fair.

This lends itself to one last awful conclusion: that Hornet has probably considered and (rightly or wrongly) discarded the possibility that Radiance can be saved, at least not without dragging more collateral along for the ride. If even her mother and every other enemy to the king seemed to dismiss talking Radiance down as an option way back when... well. Why should Hornet hope for any better after things have escalated so far?

Again, it's practical. A practical net good is what Hornet strives for. And again, it fucking sucks.

For extra tragedy points, this makes Hornet's extended crypticness around Ghost followed by her last minute casting about for a reason to tell them "Wait, don't; not just yet" that she never voices even more of a gut punch. She can't bring herself to burden Ghost with the context that haunts her so, least of all when it might weaken their resolve to go through with what (she thinks) needs doing.

It's the "same song, different verse" which led to the mantis tribe and Deepnest being pitted against each other: Hallownest rigged the game so that two women who could have been powerful allies—who have a mutual vested interest in driving out settler rule—wound up poised as enemies instead. And how awful is that? The king for all his being extremely fucking dead still gets the last laugh, because outside of a miracle the game never manifests Hornet can salvage what her mother started and look forward to a future where Deepnest pulls itself back from the brink if and only if The Radiance dies.

Resolution comes at the price of a completed genocide. Add two more dead siblings to the unconscionable pile thereof, while we're at it. That's what it boils down to whether or not Hornet can bear to articulate it as such, and there's no grace or even a properly bittersweet ending to wring from this clusterfuck. And that is rough.

———

* This has been better explained elsewhere, but a quick rundown: The White Lady tells Ghost that Hornet and Herrah "were permitted little time together." On its surface this can be taken to mean that Hornet was still very young when Herrah was shipped off to Eternal Dreamland—except this doesn't jive with the fact that we meet Hornet as an adult. If the stasis kicked in once the Dreamers went to their rest, which in turn halted the aging process for every living bug in Hallownest, AND before all this Hornet experienced little by the way of quality time with her birth mother... I think you can see where I'm going with this.

To top it off we've got Team Cherry weighing in ominously from their dev notes on Herrah: "As part of the agreement for her alliance and her role as a dreamer, King gave her a child (Hornet). Was she allowed to keep this child or was she taken away?" This isn't confirmation by itself of course, but given additional canon details (see above): Can I get a "yikes" in the chat fellas.

[petri808]

And That’s How We Became a Legend...

Bakudeku alpha/omega fantasy AU written on Twitter based on this idea: I plan to clean it up and post it on AO3 later :)

Think of the story as an origin to the Bridegroom’s Oak.

The old alpha worn with time sat his grandpup on his knee. “Shall I tell you a bedtime story?”

“Yes!” The green-eyed child beamed brightly.

“Very well. Once upon a time...”

In his tiny village, Izuku Midoriya was just born to be unlucky in love. As a tiny male omega he was at the bottom of the marriage pool because alphas preferred buxom stock with firm child bearing hips, as they called it, so a skinny choice like him would never get chosen. He wasn’t ugly... many even called him cute with his curly green hair and bright emerald eyes. But cute didn’t guarantee a brood. Izuku was more fated to be a lonely servant or a whelping docent for another family. His poor mother could only look on in sadness at her sons pain.

So, by the time he’d reached adulthood, Izuku stayed mostly to himself on their small farm. Tending the crops his mother would sell to support them. During heat cycles, the lowly omega locked himself away and made due through the tears and desire he alone could soothe.

There was one thing he could do to bring himself some happiness. With little to no friends, the forest became his second refuge. When chores were completed, Izuku would wander the dense woodlands surrounding the village, or trek the nearby mountain and its hidden waterfall. He loved the peace and quiet even the remote and darkest areas because it wasn’t any worse than the loneliness he felt in his own home. There was always a chance of running into a wolf or other animal, but so far they stayed clear. Perhaps even predators thought he wasn’t worthy a kill or pitied the omega. Some say animals can sense such sullen energies. That’s okay, at least he could commune with his thoughts in these woods to the sounds of birds chirping or bullfrogs croaking.

Of all the areas he’d roamed, there was one particular tree he loved. An old oak tree, twisted and worn who’s trunk was so large Izuku couldn’t wrap his arms around it. The top branches melded with the canopy high above his head, and during spring and summer it’s leaves sheltered all that rested beneath it. He spent many a day resting at its base.

In its trunk was a deep hollow, weathered by time and the creatures that once created it. Perhaps a squirrel or woodpecker, who knew but the gods who watched over these forests. For Izuku, this hollow became a treasure chest where he could write about anything and hide away those words in a journal that only he would read. He poured his heart out into that notebook. All his pains and anguish, of forlornly outlooks, and heartaches desiring but one thing in this world... a family of his own. The omega in him wept to fulfill its purpose.

This journal allowed him to bury his sadness so when he went home he could put on a brave face for his mother. ‘I’ll be okay,’ Izuku would smile brightly at the woman. ‘I have you’ and I have my forest... fear of making her sad was the only thing keeping Izuku going.

Then one day in his eighteenth Spring, Izuku ventured out to his tree as he often would to vent. This season always left him saddened for it represented new beginnings and new life, something he believed he would never experience. But once he reached the tree, he immediately noticed something amiss. Izuku always tightly wrapped his journal in a thick bear skin to keep the weather from reaching it, and made sure it was pushed as far into the hollow too. But not only was it too close to the edge, the wrapping was messy as if re-bound hastily.

Izuku growled. People were so irritating! His refuge was violated and it left him feeling vulnerable. Now he would need to find a new hiding place! He pulled the journal out and inspected it to see if anything else was wrong with it. It better not be damaged! But his eyes zero in on a ripped piece of parchment that was folded and tucked into the first page of the notebook. The intruder had left him a note?! Why?! He unfolded it, eyes widening, and moisture gathering as he read the poorly written words someone had left behind.

‘Damn runt you sound like a mess, what the fuck happened after I left? If this is who I think it is and based on the simpering rambles and scent I think I’m right, be here at high noon each day so I can find you.’

The letter lowered in Izuku’s hand as he processed its contents. Who was this mystery person and why did they want to find him again? They seemed to know who he was just based off his words. He had vague memories of a possibility, but after all these years had chalked it up to an imaginary friend for a lonely three year-old. Plus it made little sense since a three year-old couldn’t write, so how would this stranger know he tended to talk a lot or ramble?! His brows furrowed, or it could be a trap. Slavers were not unknown in these parts, which was why only alphas tended to roam the woods or hunted. But Izuku wouldn’t make for a great prize either. This was certainly intriguing to say the least. The prospect of someone wanting him too good an opportunity to pass up. Though he was no fool.

The next day, Izuku trekked early to the tree and hid away in the brush. He wanted to see just who this stranger was, but if it was someone he didn’t recognize, he’d slip away again. As he waited, he wrote in his journal, chronicling the whole situation. His emotions, how the pangs of loneliness and longing for love fueled his curiosity as well as anxieties to sit there and unravel the mystery.

He hears the cracking of fallen branch litter and sure enough a form rounds the tree. Izuku’s heartbeat paused in recognition of the platinum blonde hair, and once the man turned to where he could see ruby red eyes glaring, he knew exactly who it was. His imaginary friend! But this was no child’s fantasy, for the virile male standing beside the tree was as real as the blood in Izuku’s veins flowing south.

“Come out,” the man commanded. “I can smell you.”

Izuku stepped out with the journal clutched to his chest and walked slowly towards the alpha.

“By the gods, you’re still as tiny as I remember,” the male snickered. “Do you even remember me?”

“I thought I’d made you up,” Izuku stammered.

The man came closer, grabbing the omega by the chin. “Oh, I’m very real.”

Izuku swallowed thickly, “what do you want from me?”

“What was promised,” the alpha responded. “You may be weak, but your scent was the only thing that calmed me as a child, so our mothers arranged for our betrothal at your 18th yr.”

Though a true statement, being called weak still upset Izuku. He pulled his face away from the alphas grip. “You need not pity me. I release you to choose a more suitable dame if you feel I am too weak.” Never mind the fact his mother has never mentioned him being betrothed!

“Tch! I don’t want another and your writings speak of family desire. What fool would refuse my offer to give them what they long for?!”

The tears well up in Izuku’s eyes. “I don’t even know your name.” And so many more questions ripple through his mind. Why hadn’t his mother said anything? Why had this man disappeared all this time? How did he even find him here?! Because this tree wasn’t even close to the village.

“You called me Kacchan cause you couldn’t say my name back then. But my family name is Bakugou.”

Izuku shook his head with all his thoughts and confusion. “Still, why wasn’t I told?!” He looked dead straight at the man, “and why’d you leave the village in the first place?!”

“Tch, fool, like I had a choice! I was five! This village is small so my parents moved to a bigger township with better opportunities.”

“But you could have kept in touch...” Tears now fall freely. “All my life I was so lonely. If I’d known you existed I would’ve had hope!”

“Look, I can’t help—“

“Don’t!” The omega roared cutting the alpha off. “So many nights I thought of ending my misery. How would you feel if you’d come back to find me dead?!”

The alpha snarled. “I can’t fucking change the past! Screwed up or not, at least I’m here now!”

But when the omega flinched and a flurry of fearful pheromones hit the alphas nose he stopped and took a deep inhale to calm himself. “Izuku, I’m here now, that’s all I can do to start things over. So, will you accept my proposal or not?”

Izuku hung his head, how could he say no?

To say no would mean throwing away the best chance he’s had for the life he’s craved. An opportunity to have a family, a sire for the pups he desired to bear. This alpha was a perfect specimen, and Izuku would be a fool to turn him down. But all his life, he’d only known disappointment. What if this turned out to be too good to be true? This alpha would take him away from all he’d known, granted he wasn’t happy there, but what of his mother? As a widower she had no one to care for her in old age. What if he couldn’t bear pups? Would this alpha cast him away for another? To go from loneliness to heartbreak? Which would be worse? And on top of that, he doesn’t know this man, or at least doesn’t remember much. The memories are vague, children playing, maybe some bullying, that’s all. He didn’t hate nor love him... yet.

But he could grow to love this alpha.

This Kacchan has a wondrous scent of spice and power brimming from within. He’ll produce fine pups for sure.

“Are you really sure you want me?” Izuku’s voice was meek and full of hesitation. “Nobody else has ever wanted me before.”

The alpha sighed. “Nobody makes me do what I don’t want to. I’m here by choice.”

“But look at me.” Izuku gestured at his body. “People say I won’t be able to carry a litter, I’m too small. You even called me weak. Why take a chance on me when surely you could find better?”

“Pfft, ignore these foolish villagers. In the larger cities I have seen many just like you do perfectly fine. Have produced perfect broods. These small-minded fools know not about such things and only believe in superstition. Give your answer now for I grow tired of this banter.”

After a brief pause, Izuku decided to accept his fate, whatever that may be. The alpha wanted him and only him. If in the end it doesn’t work out, at least he got to experience what he’d longed for, and that was better than never having to at all.

“Okay Kacchan. I accept.”

“Good. Then we shall pack up your things and travel to my home post haste. I’ve arranged for a horse and cart to transport everything, so you won’t need to return.”

“What of my mother? I-I cannot leave her alone.”

“She’ll come with us as a docent. You’ll need help to raise our pups.”

True to his word, the alpha took the Midoriya’s back to a sprawling estate located a four days journey away. The Bakugou clan had done well for itself in the fifteen years since they’d left the tiny remote village. On the property, the alphas parents lived in one home, a second was built for the young couple, while Izuku’s mother had a smaller one next to theirs. There was a farm and ranching enterprise along with trade that Bakugou senior engaged in to grow their wealth.

“Wow...” Izuku’s eyes lit up as he walked in. “It’s so much bigger than back home.”

Through the long journey, Izuku caught up on many of the questions that plagued him, such as how his mother thought when the Bakugou’s left the arrangement had been canceled, so that’s why she never mentioned it. But the alpha he knew now as Katsuki had never forgotten about him.

A beautiful nest had already been prepared and scented for the omega. It would need to wait until their formal ceremony took place the following day, but Izuku was just excited this was taking place. All the pain of the last fifteen years dissolved away in that moment. He turned to his alpha with tears streaming down his face and his scent filling the air of lavender wildflowers. It’s been so long since Izuku released a happy scent, even he’d forgotten what it was like. His eyes twinkled, crinkled in delight. “It’s so beautiful Kacchan, like in a fairytale.”

The alphas eyes roll back as he purred from his omegas pheromones filling their new home. He pulled Izuku to his broad chest. “That’s the scent I remember. The scent I loved as a child. How could anyone not snatch you up just for that?”

“Maybe because no one else has smelled it?”

Such a statement makes the alpha growl low from happiness, his chest rumbling with content. “Good.” He tipped Izuku’s chin up, red eyes boring down as he swept away tears. This scent belonged to him alone. “It’s all I wanna smell from now on. No more sadness or fear, understood?”

Izuku nodded his head as he smile grew. “Yes, my alpha.”

Katsuki placed a long, lingering kiss on the omegas lips that made Izuku’s heartbeat soar. For such a large male, the alpha was gentle with him. He knew the man had a fiery side, but Katsuki also knew how to love....

As autumn leaves made an entrance, tiny cries broke the air as two newborn pups came into their world. The pregnancy had been a bit difficult for the tiny omega, but with the support of his mate and family, Izuku accomplished everything he’d been told would never come to pass.

“Kacchan...” the omega, flushed with exhaustion, but beamed with pride, and shed tears of joy as he rested his head against his alpha’s supportive hand.

“See, I told you those villagers were fools.” Katsuki smiled, while lovingly soothing his omega. “You gave me two beautiful pups.”

“I love you Kacchan...”

“And they lived happily ever after,” the old alpha stated. “The end.”

“But grandpa, that’s nothing like the stories.”

“What do you mean?”

“Izuku didn’t leave a letter in the tree, a-and he knew Katsuki as a kid.”

“Well, you see over many, many Springs the true story was lost and all that remained is the story of an alpha finding an omegas sad love letter. People thought if that omega could get lucky, maybe I can too and began leaving letters in the tree. Today, the tradition continues.”

“Then how do you know the true story?”

“Izuku had green eyes right?”

“Yeah, like me!”

“Because he’s your great, great, great grandpa.”

[yandere-daydreams]

Can we get more of dragon bakugo??? Just him like trying to make them have a good best and taking care of them, after all the times they took care of him. Maybe Kirishima joins them after a while?????

I didn’t want to let Kirishima factor in just yet, but if I ever continue this further, I’ll consider it. Y’all know how I feel about that boy, but this is about Bakugo, at the moment.

Part One Here.

TW: Mentions of Captivity and (Minor) Physical Violence.

~

Your wrist was beginning to hurt.

Bakugo, or ‘Katsuki’, as he demanded you call him, hadn’t let go of you for more than an hour over the past three days. It was unnecessary. You were a hostage, but a willing one, so far from a home that was little more than ash and cinder, now. When he hunted, you didn’t try to run, and when he flew, you clung to his back for dear life, knowing a movement too sudden or a separation too complete would leave you plummeting to the Earth, with little hope of sprouting a pair of wings as substantial as Katsuki’s. He held you at night with an equal level of desperation, his nails never failing to embed themselves in your flesh whenever his eyes closed. The wounds were shallow, easily treatable, but it was enough to make you hesitant to trust him. Not that you’d do so easily if he treated you like the most fragile treasure in the world.

He tried to, of course. As he guided you over the rolling hills of valleys and open land, so different from the forests and crowded cities you’d grown up in, his hold on your forearm was loose, but the scales coating his palm irritated everything he touched, his talons occasionally scraping against your wrist and never failing to draw blood. He didn’t seem to notice, but you refused to give him the satisfaction of a struggle, biting back your complaints as they came.

Instead, you broke the silence by stating the obvious. “If they come to recapture you, I won’t be able to stop them.”

Katsuki spared you a glance from the corner of his eye, his stride never faltering. “And I won’t need you to,” He assured, tugging you forward and letting you stumble to his side. “I don’t plan on being imprisoned again, not by humans foolish enough to release me. Nor do I have any intention to treat my mate as a bargaining chip.”

Mate. There was that word again. It’s meaning was foreign to you, but Katsuki used it with reckless abandon, treating the title like the most tender term of endearment he could vocalize. You grit your teeth, swallowing dryly before you spoke. “They did once. There’s nothing stopping another kingdom from locking you so deep underground, you won’t remember there’s a world outside to escape to. I… A human escort won’t change that.” You paused, attempting to gauge his expression. His eyes were narrowed in the unfiltered sunlight, intent and sharpened, as if he was searching for landmarks and signals you couldn’t see. Focused on anything but you. “If someone comes, and they will, your intentions won’t matter. You’ll be defeated, and my people will be avenged.”

That got Katsuki to pause, coming to a stop as he thought over your declaration. “Your people,” He scoffed, his distance turning to disregard in the blink of an eye. “Is that why you insist on agitating me? Because you’re upset the tyrants who sent you to tend to a beast had to suffer? Because they had their little castle and their pathetic home toppled over?” He grinned, a chuckle from deep in his throat slowly becoming a laugh, hearty and unabashed. You pulled away, a red haze lining your vision, and Katsuki let you, releasing you and watching as you stumbled backward. You barely had time to regain your composure before Katsuki saw fit to strip you of it, sweeping you off your feet and holding you to his chest, an arm tucked under your thighs to keep you balanced. He sighed, a strong hand cupping your cheek, keeping you pressed against his shoulder. “I should thank them, once I’m settled. They sent me such a diligent mate, it’d be a shame not to show my appreciation. Perhaps another siege--”

“I’m not your mate,” You spat, more to silence him than to establish your counterpoint. You shoved yourself away from him, he overpowered you with ease, forcing you flush against sculpted shoulders and skin that was much too warm. You wondered if he’d burn you, if you stayed against him for much longer. Knowing you couldn’t force your way out of his arms, you did the only thing you could. “I’m not your ‘mate’ and I’ll never be. You don’t have the right to do so much as say my name, let alone start whatever courting ritual you’ve forced me to be a part of. I’m following you because I don’t have another choice, I don’t--”

Katsuki silenced you with a jerk to your skull, his nails strapping against your scalp as he entangled his fingers in your hair, pulling your head back and forcing you to meet his eyes. There was a constant fire in those blood-red irises, but his resolution came before his wrath, any rage he could’ve felt numbed by his determination. “You took care of me,” He explained, such a delicate sentiment seeming wrong on his tongue. “You kept me fed, and housed, and you did so with much more care than you had to. I had caretakers, but you-” The flattened pad of his thumb pressed against your forehead, as if it would do anything to further his message. Instead, it only made you feel smaller, weaker, patronized by a predator who could rip out your throat in a moment. “You were the only one to care for me. You can’t say you didn’t want this.”

“I pitied you.” Katsuki cringed, his eyes narrowing into something between hurt and disappointment. You swallowed dryly, continuing before he could respond. “I pitied an old, imprisoned monster. There’s nothing more to it.”

Abruptly, you were dropped, allowed to fall to the dusty, hard ground before he took hold of your bicep, dragging you to your feet and carrying on with a steady pace, attempting to make up for lost time. “You’re lying to yourself. I should’ve known you would, it’s all humans are good for.” There was a slight incline, bringing you to the top of a hill you hadn’t noticed, not until you were at its crest.  Katsuki pulled you to his side, allowing you to look out at what should’ve been little more than tall grass and empty fields. “Your place is at my side. You’ll come to see that. Anything else wouldn’t be fitting of my mate.”

You didn’t respond. You were too busy taking in the dip in the valley, the hollow ravine hidden by higher ground. Or, more importantly, the village inside off it, filled with tents and animals and people, all as tall as Katsuki and as inhuman, too. Some had horns, others tails, but all of them were beginning to gather around, gawking at the two of you with open mouths and rushing forward, Katuski making no move to call them off. No, no, for the first time since the beginning of your companionship, he was smiling, his hold on you tighter than ever.

But suddenly, the growing ache in your arm was no longer your biggest concern.

[19tozier]

lookalike pt. two (bill denbrough)

part two of this imagine

warnings: angst, swearing, but a hopeful ending!

[losers&reader are 17/18 in this]

bill denbrough, you have found, is not an easy person to love. loving him is the hardest thing you’ve ever done.

it burns inside of you, burrowing into your heart and into your stomach until you feel hollow with it. sometimes, you want nothing more than to scrape yourself free from it, but you don’t think you could; it would destroy you as well. but loving bill the way that you do is going to destroy you, too.

you’ve been avoiding him even harder after your fight, coldly ignoring his every attempt to talk to you or even look at you. you thought you’d have to avoid the other losers at times, too, but they’ve made it clear that they understand. you don’t know how they found out, but you know they know what bill said. and you know they’re upset about it. they’re almost as angry as you are.

and god, are you angry. you have to force yourself not to think about what bill said or else your rage will choke you, thick and cloying and hot in your throat. at inopportune times, his words will play through your mind, and your blood begins to boil.

however, your life hasn’t changed much. you were already avoiding bill to begin with, so not seeing him at all hasn’t really done anything. you still go on dates with jacob, trying not to feel guilty when you look at his smile, and you hang out with the losers whenever you are certain bill won’t be there. there’s a hole in your life and your heart where he should be but slowly, you think you are beginning to grow numb to that absence.

of course that’s when it comes crashing down around you.

foolishly, you had been certain jacob had been none the wiser to the tension inside you. you’d never told him that you had stopped being friends with bill, after all, and you’d even brought the losers along to meet jacob on one of your movie dates. you had thought that things were as perfect as they could get between you two.

he’s already leaning against your locker when the final bell rings one day, fidgeting with the straps of his backpack. he doesn’t return your smile when you greet him, nor does he go to wrap you up in a hug the way that he usually does. instead, he sighs and looks down at his shoes.

“can we talk?” he asks you quietly, his eyes sliding to where richie and eddie are waiting for both of you a few steps down the hall. “alone?”

you swallow, a cold feeling settling in the pit of your stomach. you wave the boys on, trying to smile as reassuringly as possible when they both look concerned. judging by the look richie gives you, it’s shaky at best and downright worrying at worst.

you follow jacob outside, your heart rate spiking even more when he leads you to the place where you and bill had your fight just a few short weeks ago. seemingly oblivious to your anxiety, he sits on the wall where bill had waited for you, and hesitantly, you sit beside him. the few inches between you feel as cavernous as miles.

for a long moment, neither of you talk. you stare down at the sidewalk, your palms sweating against your thighs. you’re about to bite the bullet and ask what’s wrong when jacob murmurs, “i think we need to break up.”

your heart freezes inside your chest. it sits there, colder than you’ve ever been, spreading numb out through your veins as you shakily whisper, “what?”

jacob doesn’t look at you. “i think we need to break up,” he repeats, slightly louder and slightly stronger.

part of you had known this was coming, and that part had honestly been waiting for it to happen. but that part is not the majority, and you are so blindsided that your lips tremble enough that you almost can’t talk. “but... why?”

he sighs, and finally he meets your gaze. he looks sad and resigned, a frown curling the edges of his mouth, but there is something in the set of his shoulders that looks lighter. more free. “we don’t like each other the same way,” he whispers. “and i think i’ve always known that, but i don’t think i can stay with it anymore.”

every word he says spears into your heart. you feel almost sick with guilt and desperation. “jacob, i do like you, i don’t understand—“

“not in the same way,” he interrupts, gently but firmly. “i really like you, (y/n), but you’ve always had feelings for someone else. and that’s okay, really. it’s not your fault. but it’s not fair to either of us.”

the tears you have been trying to suppress finally make themselves known, trickling slowly down your cheeks. you make no move to wipe them away. “how did you know?”

he smiles, soft and small and sad. “i have eyes, y’know,” he murmurs to you. you don’t deserve his kindness, especially now. “it didn’t take a genius to figure out.”

your heart is unthawing, only for fractures to spread through the ice. you can feel it breaking in your chest, slowly but surely with every word he says. “i really do like you,” you rasp. you want to grab his hand but you don’t think you’ll be allowed. “i need you to know that. and i never, ever cheated on you.”

jacob blows out a breath, tilting his head back to stare at the sky. “i do know that, (y/n). i know you like me and i know you’d never hurt me like that. but it’s not really enough, is it?”

he doesn’t say it to be an accusation but you feel it like it is one. your heart splits jaggedly in two. “no,” you whisper. “it’s not.”

you are both silent for several minutes. the bustle of your classmates leaving school for the day continues around you, all of them oblivious to the turmoil inside you. no one has even glanced at you or jacob, even if you feel like there is a neon sign pointing directly to your conversation. lookie here, folks, karma always comes to collect its debt!

“can we still be friends?” your voice is small. your fingers are twisted together in your lap hard enough that they ache. “i don’t want to completely lose you from my life, jake.”

jacob sighs, shaking his head slightly. “i don’t know,” he admits. “i don’t want to lose you either but i think it would hurt too much to just be your friend right now.” he pauses, then gently reaches to bump your shoulder with his own. he gives you a watery smile. “maybe eventually, though.”

there is a note of finality in his words. this is the ending you had been building towards from the moment it all began, and you had been foolish to think otherwise. you had already lost bill, and now you were losing jacob as well.

he gives you a nod, trying to smile again, and then he stands up and walks away. he doesn’t look back.

almost as soon as he’s left, you feel two other people sit down, one on either side of you. you can’t see through the tears blurring your vision but you know that it’s eddie and richie, come to try and comfort you. you don’t say anything, just turn your head into eddie’s shoulder and let yourself cry. they don’t ask, but you hope they understand anyways. you wouldn’t be able to explain if they didn’t.

***

it takes you a little while, but eventually, things start to get better.

the other losers are the best friends you really could’ve ever asked for. bev helps you talk all your feelings out and cry all you want to; stan and mike help you study and keep you from noticing all of your extra free time; ben brings you sweet little gifts, flowers and chocolate and candy, to make you smile on days you don’t feel like doing so; eddie and richie make you laugh with their antics and hug you whenever you need it.

but there’s still that hole left behind where bill was, the one that you desperately try not to think about.

you still haven’t talked to him. you know he knows that you and jacob broke up, because it feels like your entire school knows by now, but you don’t know if you’re ready to face that. you’re still so angry with him but you also miss your best friend.

you’re sitting in between eddie and stan one day at lunch, giggling at something mike said, when richie leans across the table and whispers, “come outside with me?”

he’s flicking his pack of cigarettes in his hand, and even though you don’t smoke you’d never pass up the opportunity to hang out with your favorite trashmouth. you pat stan’s shoulder, ruffle eddie’s hair, and follow richie out the huge double doors.

there’s already someone sitting against the wall in richie’s usual smoking spot, and you turn to say something to richie only to notice richie’s disappeared. you swing around wildly to look for him, and that’s when you realize the person sitting against the wall is bill.

you are struck with sudden deja vu for the day of your fight. you hope this doesn���t destroy you more.

he offers you a small smile, patting the concrete next to him. “c-can w-we talk?”

your heart races at the sound of his voice but you force yourself to keep your face blank. you carefully sit beside him, leaving several inches between your thighs. you don’t look at him at all.

he sighs, his hands balling into fists in his lap. “d-don’t b-be m-m-mad at r-richie. i a-asked h-him to b-b-bring you o-out h-here.”

“why?” your voice is cold and impassive, and you watch him flinch out of the corner of your eye.

he swallows. “s-so i c-could a-apologize t-to y-y-you.”

it makes your heart race for an entirely different reason. you almost crack and turn to look at him, maybe to see how sincere he is, but you’re scared that doing so will make you forget why you’re angry. already, the feeling is melting away at having him by your side again. “i’m listening.”

almost as if a dam has been broken, he tilts his shoulders to face you. his words come out choppy and fast, his stutter infinitely worse than you’ve ever heard it. “i-i-i-i’m s-s-so-oh suh-suh-suh-sor-ry. i-i-i-i wuh-was s-s-s-stupid a-a-and m-m-m-m-m—f-f-fuck—“

without your conscious effort, your hand shoots out to wrap around his wrist. both of you freeze, staring down at the point of contact. you want to pull it away and take it back but something inside of you has unlocked at the feeling of his skin against yours.

“calm down,” you murmur, still staring down at your hand. “it’s just me.”

bill draws in a ragged breath, his shoulders trembling with the force of it. his wrist flexes within your grip but he doesn’t pull away. “i-i-i’m s-s-sorry,” he whispers, now slightly calmer. “i-i’m s-s-so s-s-sorry, (y/n). i-i s-shouldn’t h-h-have s-s-s-said t-that. a-any o-of i-i-it.”

you nod, slowly. “so why did you?” you ask, your voice low. “because that hurt, bill. i was so fucking mad at you. i am so fucking mad at you.”

he makes a wounded noise, deep in his throat, and the hand still in your grasp curls into a fist. “y-y-you s-s-should b-be,” he croaks. “i-i w-was a d-dick. i-it d-doesn’t e-e-excuse it, b-but i-i w-w-was... i w-was j-j-jealous.”

it’s not really news to you, since bill had admitted he liked you in the same breath he used to tell you to break up with jacob, but it still makes your blood thrum through your veins. he’s right, it’s no excuse at all, and your anger will likely simmer inside of you for a while to come, but the worst of it is disappearing.

you sigh, finally turning your head to look at him. he’s already looking back, his eyes wide and sad, his expression destroyed. you let go of his wrist but don’t move away from him.

“why didn’t you apologize sooner?” you ask quietly.

he shrugs, giving you a small smile. “i-i d-didn’t th-think y-you w-w-wanted to h-h-hear f-from m-me.”

he’s not wrong; you probably would’ve punched him if he’d talked to you sooner. you nod, looking down at your lap. “i’m still mad at you,” you repeat. “that was fucked up, bill. you just expected me to break up with jacob because you asked me to. you realize how awful that is, right?”

bill blows out a long sigh, nodding his head. “s-stan n-n-nearly k-killed m-me f-f-for i-it,” he admits. “i-i th-th-thought b-ben a-a-actually w-would.” he pauses, and then says, again, “i-i’m s-s-sorry, (y/n).”

you turn to look at him again; he still hasn’t looked away from you. “i don’t know how to forgive you for that,” you confess quietly.

his expression turns anguished, but he doesn’t look surprised. he bites his lip, tucking his chin down into his chest. “c-can w-we s-s-start o-over? i-i-i d-don’t m-mean f-f-forgetting w-w-what i-i d-did. i-i j-just w-w-want t-to e-earn y-y-your t-trust b-b-back.”

it sounds too easy, but as you look at him, you’re shocked by the longing inside of you. you want your best friend back, you want to go back to the days where it was you and bill against the world. and if this is how you’ll get there, then you’ll absolutely take it, if it means you get to have him again.

you swallow and smile, shakily. “yeah, bill,” you breathe. “i’d like that.”

he smiles back at you before he sticks his hand out between you. as you stare down at it in confusion, he nudges your shoulder with his own. “h-hi, i-i’m b-b-bill.”

it makes something warm curl in your chest. you throw your head back and laugh, hearing him laugh along with you. you take his hand in yours, shaking it fondly. “i’m (y/n),” you grin.

maybe that day didn’t ruin anything at all, you think, as he offers you a hand up and holds the door open for both of you to go back to lunch. maybe there wasn’t actually any bomb and you and bill will eventually be okay.

as you rejoin the losers, as you watch stan bully bill relentlessly, as bill smiles at you shyly across the table, you are certain you will be.

[cartoonfangirl1218]

What now?

A little post coronation day Estoma and some ideas of how Esteban is grappling with forgiveness.

The bell ringed noisily but he breezed past the eager salesperson wanted to persuade him to buy unnecessary items like scented tissues and mangos as well as the bored expression of Martín who lacklusterly warned him that Doña Paloma was too busy in her office to have visitors.

Ah well, she'll have to get used to her presence considering the number of times she barged into his life when he was busy with something. 

He tapped his staff to the ground, a bit smug that with his magic, no locked door would ever stand in his way again. Nor those stupid push-pull doors that always made him look like a fool.  "Esteban what are you doing here?" Doña didn't even look up from her ledger at his surprise transportation.

"I want to talk." Esteban said smoothly. 

"About what? We don't have any work to discuss." Doña raised an eyebrow at him. 

It was true. Now that he no longer was Chancellor, he had no work load. At first he had felt relief, and enjoyed his mid-morning siestas safe in the fact that he wouldn't have to cut them short for paperwork or the like. 

However, after three days the thrill faded and boredom set in. He had been helping Naomi get more into the swing of things since she had to take on more responsibility now that she officially had the title. He was to use his expertise to guide her through the minutiae of diplomacy as long as he didn't try to take over her work which he didn't. Naomi was much bolder in keeping him away from her duties and asserted her claim when she felt he was getting controlling. 

And he had to admit she didn't need as much help as he thought she would. He had approved of her appointment when Elena gave her the job though he had been sure she would need his help in understanding the heavier workload and handling formal affairs. He had been wrong. She was not exactly the etiquettless port girl he had left her who complimented dockhands on their eye patches. She wasn't rash, she analyzed the words, she put Avalor's interests first. 

She was knowledgeable, knew ancient Maruvian, and had a knack for getting to the heart of the matters while slicing through trade jargon. She made nobles laugh with her stories and she was simply herself, no formality required though he was pleased to see that his dancing lessons had paid off impressing the snobbier circles. And as she pointed out, she'd been sharing his paperwork during the year he had spent running around the Avaloran countryside with criminals. 

So Naomi was doing well. Very very well. 

So that's why he was here. He had nothing to do. He felt useless since Naomi didn't need his help, Elena was confident in her role as queen, and he was certainly no use to the wizard and guard sectors of the kingdom. It was a confusing feeling. 

So many of his years had been devoted to being useful. Useful to Shuriki. Useful to Elena. Even as a teenager he aimed to impress his uncle and the rest of his family with his knowledge in politics so people would be amazed at him.

If he was useful, they would keep him around even if they didn't love him. Now he knew he didn't need to keep up that work anymore. His family loved him even though he was no longer Chancellor. They loved him because he was familia and that was all. And he was going to keep their love he knew even as he tried to amend his ways. They loved him, they forgave him. But that still left too much time on his hands. 

Elena said maybe he should start up community service. A way to earn back the trust of the people while using up his time in a productful way. But they agreed to hold it off for the first week of Elena's queenship, to let everyone relax after the chaos and excitement of Coronation.

So here he was, talking to his rival though he supposed they were rivals no more if they no longer had to compete with each other in royal duties. "I heard you tried to take my place." Esteban stroked his mustache with a knowing look which earned him Doña’s attention away from her work.   

"Why shouldn't I have been Chancellor. I was the most qualified." Doña looked at him as if daring him to make a snide remark, "I knew what you did. I certainly helped you enough times when you were chancellor. I had more time since I wasn't Magister. Besides it shouldn't be that hard to handle a full load if you could do it." Esteban was about to retort that it was a lot harder than she thought and weaker people than he would have broken under the strain but he saw her smirk and knew she was trying to goad him. 

“I'm just surprised you weren't more upset that you didn't get it." Esteban shrugged. 

Doña looked thoughtful, "It's Elena. She made her decision, and I wouldn't be able to change it. Besides, I learned some things from that cousin of yours, and from what she said about the qualities she needs in a chancellor, ultimately, Naomi was the right choice." 

Esteban was a bit surprised at the maturity of the statement and more than a little curious at what exactly Elena taught her, "Yes, Naomi has been doing very well. She'll help make Avalor great." 

Esteban smiled but still felt a small hollow feeling knowing he wouldn't be working behind the scenes anymore. It was a tiny thing and he knew it would get better in time. Just for now, it was still a bit too soon.

So he continued with a fond smile thinking of how grown-up, mature and strong his cousin was sitting on the throne just as she was meant to, "Elena is a wonderful queen and with Mateo and Gabe by her side... Avalor will be alright."

Which left him where?  

"Now that you're not Chancellor or Magister, are you thinking of retiring?" Esteban asked with genuine interest. She had been working almost as long as he had, maybe she too felt the strain of constant effort. Dona looked at him as if he had suggested she saw off her own arm, "NO! No, no, no, no, no, Never. No, I would no no, No, Unthinkable. No. No." 

"Wow, 13 "No"s." Esteban smiled at her horror. "This store is my chil-I worked so hard for it. I can't just give it up. I need the money." "You're the richest woman in all of Avalor. You don't need more money." Esteban scoffed. 

"Yes, but there’s no such thing as too much money." Dona insisted. "Yes.. but I saw you and Julio become very close. Surely, you're going to spend more time with him." Esteban commented, unsure of what to make of the tight knot in his chest every time he remembered the kiss they shared behind her fan.

He had been surprised. Very surprised. That was not a match he would have imagined considering Julio beat her in All Kingdoms Fair and he was a much kinder, considerate person for others while Doña was.... Doña considered herself before other people. 

And also.. there was that sense of change he never liked. 

While he was away, Elena became a better ruler, Isabel had grown, Naomi learned parts of his job, Victor and Carla were living in the palace now and now Doña found a love. 

He didn't know why he had expected things to stay the same when he returned. Maybe it was a foolish hope that he could start over to the moment before his betrayal. Now he knew better. He was starting in the present to fix his past.

"Well, you know." Doña fluttered her fan, shrugging, uncharacteristically tight-lipped, "It was a party, heat of the moment."  

The knot grew tighter. Hmm they meant something to each other. Wonderful. He was happy for her, he told himself. So very happy. 

"It looks like you really matured if you're willing to forgive and forget how Julio's Magister when you're not." Esteban said, perhaps a bit too nonchalantly.

Doña’s eyes flashed with irritation just as he knew she would when he brought the subject up, "He won only two times to my thirteen. Thirteen! The first time was only because you put that fool idea into his head! The people don't know what they're missing out on having him as Magister instead of me. He puts so much trouble in making sure everyone gets a fair share. This is business, he should be working for Avalor's interests only, not make everyone comfortable. And, and he actually cut off our trade deal with Hectoria for more ships because he said, the Avaloran Navy doesn't even use half of the ships in its fleet. He should know that's not the point! Those Hectorian ships were for the nobles to use for vacationing. I'm the one who had to hear all the complaints from Lady Yolanda and Dolares but I can't do anything because Julio says I'm not allowed to talk to him about Magister duties unless he says he needs my help. Which he does, he just won't admit it." 

Esteban’s knot lessen, this relationship wasn't going to last. Not as long as Doña still had her ego about her former job and Julio wouldn't allow her to talk about how he could improve his Magister duties aka let her do it from behind the scenes. 

Ah yes, maybe some things, at least some people never changed.

"Also he made a "No talking about work" rule which is.. I can't even begin to say how stupid that is. It's not that he does anything else that's interesting with his day." 

Esteban wanted to point out it wasn't like her day was very interesting between her work and gossiping with her friends but held back. He wanted to move the subject away from Julio to other matters. 

Especially one question that had been burning in the back of his mind. "It's nice to banter with you. I was ..I wasn't sure I'd have a chance to do that again." Esteban hummed under his breath. 

Truthfully, he had thought he wouldn't do many things again. On the run he had an ever present fear in the back of his mind that he wouldn't live through his adventure. 

And after Elena hugged him, proclaiming her forgiveness, he thought she would be the outlier, that everyone else would look at him in disdain. 

The opposite had happened, Francisco and Isabel immediately welcomed him with open arms. Mateo, Gabe and Naomi had given him shy smiles before being whisked away to help Elena ready for her coronation. 

Naomi even called him, Mr. Flores in return for all the "Miss Turners" over the years. And Luisa... He had feared his reaction the most next to Elena. Her final words of how the kingdom would only fear him, and never respect him struck his heart like a mortal blow. 

He understood her words, how honest they were, and there was a potential she may never forgive him. 

But as he changed for the ceremony, she knocked on his door just as in times of old. 

He opened the door thinking it was Isabel as she had been stopping by to stare at him in amazement that he came home and lots of hugs. Instead Luisa stood there, her eyes watery with feeling. 

She held his face in her hands and Esteban teared up too when she said, "Mi nieto, you saved the kingdom today And with time and patience and so much love, you can work to fix your mistakes and one day you will grow into that strong magnificent man I know you're supposed to be." 

It was a new beginning between them, and he wept into her arms. 

The rest of the palace had been wary of him and he was wary to look at them knowing the hurt he caused and how much he'd have to do to earn their forgiveness when he didn't know where to start. 

Armando had been the first to break ranks and welcome him back and Esteban had melted with relief and when Armando said the three words, "Welcome back, Esteban." 

Esteban knew Armando happily agreed with most of Elena's opinions but he had feared that his actions were too awful for the good-hearted chief of castle to forgive considering he endangered all Armando loved and lied to him for years. 

But Armando forgave and soon, other servants started to follow suit with less tip-toeing around him. 

Victor and he were still on icy terms. Though they no longer through their former crimes at each other's faces since they were on pretty even ground in that regard.

The citizens of Avalor were tougher people to butter up but it was the people he personally knew that he worried the most. 

So he was more than surprised at the party when Doña smiled at him without a hint of malice or comment on his criminal deeds. Nor had she brought it up all in this conversation which made it feel like an elephant in the room. 

Doña shrugged, "Everyone else forgave you so who am I to go against the wishes of the crown princ-I mean Queen of Avalor." 

Esteban scoffed, royal titles hardly stopped Dona before when it came to doing what she wanted, manipulating events behind the scenes, deriding comments in front of people's faces. 

So if she really hadn't forgiven him, she'd be ignoring him right now, banning him from her emporium. He had to know why she had forgiven him. 

Esteban cocked an eyebrow in her direction, with questions like these, to hear the deeper truth, words were not needed. Sometimes all it took was a look for each other to know that they wanted more of an explanation.  

Doña shrugged which made Esteban wonder if this was going to be a new habit with her when she didn't want to answer his questions, "I'll admit I was surprised that you ran. But then again, you did run so many other times in the past." 

Esteban pinched the bridge of his nose, regretting the fact that Doña had worked with him for 13 years and thus knew about some of his worst moments, including the days when he couldn't take Shuriki anymore and attempted escape before guilt and duty drove him back under her thumb.

So apparently Doña forgave him because she knew he was a coward and didn't expect him to be any braver than to run away from his problems. That knowledge felt good.

"Besides, I know how you wanted to be with them and for them to love you despite what you did under Shuriki and then.. they forgave you for betraying them and.. I'm glad it happened. You wanted it so much." 

Esteban felt a smile grow though tempered by the memories of the past and the constant guilt he had felt back then. 

That was part of the reason he hadn't wanted to face his punishment at the trial. He had spent years under Shuriki, constantly miserable. 

Hounded by guilt, by depression, an ache of sadness that would never leave despite the many nights and days he tried to numb the pain with alcohol, wishing he could die. 

He had felt he had atoned with his hard work and misery during those years. Now he understood he was just miserable for the mistake he had made and for trusting Shuriki. 

He hadn't acknowledged how he caused the pain himself with more bad decisions and inability to accept the blame. He was working on it. 

And he kept forgetting that Dona had seen him have panic attacks or guilt-fueled nightmares during business trips over the years. Seen him cry over the death of his aunt and uncle though she didn't know how fully responsible he was for their demise. 

Perhaps she had thought he'd atoned already too? 

But the more peculiar thought was the realization that Dona was happy because he was happy...

He was no longer Chancellor and she was growing a heart. 

These were strange times indeed. 

"Thanks." Esteban murmured. 

Doña gave a small, almost shy smile, "Maybe I was a little angry that you lied to me. Even though I would have been a brilliant chancellor, I guess some of it was, sort of a revenge. That you would come back and see I have your job."

"And I drop dead on the spot from shock and thus you save the kingdom." Esteban joked. 

“Something like that."

“I just can't believe it. A whole new generation leading the kingdom we helped shape. Shuriki's gone, our titles gone. I'm just a duke and you're just a shop owner."  "Emporium owner. Richest woman in all of Avalor. I'm not just anything." Dona corrected, "Chancellor, I thought you said you were trying to change. Stop being so morose." 

“I can't help it. I have so much time with my thoughts now." Esteban sighed. 

He knew redeeming himself was going to be a challenge he needed to do, but facing up to all the people he had hurt, all the bad he had done, was bringing up the guilt that he had tried hard to ignore, weighing him down again. 

He needed some activity to keep from just reflecting. He needed to do something. He was going to tell Elena not to hold off on the community service.

He'd like to start tomorrow if needed, maybe that would ease some of his conscience. He just needed to remind himself that even if his insecurities returned, his family still loved him. He had been wrong when he was a teenager and he was wrong now. His family loved him. They forgave him. 

“Chancell- I mean Esteban, I'm talking to you." Doña snapped her fingers in his face. "What? What?" Esteban stuttered.

Doña huffed, "I said if you're bored you can help me garden." 

Esteban shook his head at her, knowing she was pulling his leg. He'd seen her garden. She had a surprising green thumb when it came to flowers and used them to make her own one-of-a-kind, exclusive perfumes. 

While he, he hated plants and all the time and effort it took to grow them just for ornamentation. His green thumb might as well have been flower clippers since he always killed whatever plants mistakenly left in his charge. 

He'd rather go advise King Hector in state affairs than be on his hands and knees grubbing in the dirt.

“Thanks for the offer but no." Esteban deadpanned. 

“Still if you ever want to hang out, I am available." Doña said, looking too nonchalant as she examined her nails, her eyes looking to him for an answer from under her eyelashes. 

"You missed me." Esteban sing-songed, understanding the deeper meaning behind the offer and the admittance that maybe she was as bored as he was.

Surprisingly, she didn't deny it, "I missed you. We worked together for 13 years. I- I couldn't push those memories away even if I tried..and I have tried."

Esteban sobered, understanding hitting him in the face. Her little comment that she was angry he had lied to him, she was happy he was happy, wanting to hang out. Maybe she had been more hurt that he left than he envisioned. 

Admittedly, he hadn't given a thought to her when he ran. Fear and survival had been his ongoing guide throughout his hellish fugitive lifestyle. 

And before that, he had been consumed with staying with his family, keeping them in the dark of his betrayal. She was just a minor annoyance, a friend turned rival due to their conflicting views and escalating egos. 

But now, all the secrets were out and time to spare. 

She understood the real angst behind his breakdowns and tears, the vicious hatred and helplessness he felt under Shuriki, the defensiveness he always held in front of him like a shield when her comments hit too close to the truth that he was like Shuriki's second in command, as evil as Shuriki by association. 

Thanks to Elena blurting out Doña’s secret while recounting her adventure during the Feast of Friendship, he knew she didn't grow up the richest woman in all of Avalor. She had been the exact opposite. That some of his classist comments of how pitied villagers and laid blame on the poor for their lack of education and manners, of which he cringed since Naomi made him see his offense, might have contributed to her overcompensating boasts of her wealth.

And if he were to dwell on the past, the few, very very few happy memories he had during Shuriki's reign, Doña was in them. 

Either because they had closed a victory in trade deals or they were exploring a new kingdom by making fun of a particularly hot-headed King Hector and those snobby Paraisan ambassadors or even mocking each other's foolish mistakes.

She had been another constant though he hadn't realized it. Someone who understood the strain and the inside jokes which made some of the pain ease if only for a day. She was in all those happy memories and apparently they mattered to her more than he knew. 

Now they didn't have a kingdom to serve. Potential to be with each other without the masks hiding their secrets.  Maybe he would hold off his community service for a few more days. 

"I'd love to hang out with you in my free time. Say we have lunch in your place?" Esteban said.

"If you insist. You make the lunch, consider it part of your redemption project." Doña winked.  “Or we can start now, I can teleport you from here to your house in a second.” Esteban held out his hand, his trusty staff in the other, “Do you trust me?” 

A feline smile slowly graced her lips as she took his hand, “Let’s go.” 

So as you can see that I heartily believe they reconnect it a nicer way now that they can’t exactly directly compete for Royal prestige anymore. (They still compete in other ways). Basically it’s like they’re getting to know each other again as this song puts it https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wAPbNkxcsOI

[multifandom--imagine]

Underwater (borra x fem!reader)

N / A: ok I saw Maleficent yesterday and it was a really good movie! And well what to say? I fell in love with Borra, I still fell in love with Diaval and so much more. Excuse me for my awful English, I am Italian bish

The waves were tongues of obsidian, the foam rusted the wood of the boat, the colored fabric of the sails broke like the skin from the flesh, the thunder crashed into the vast sea of ​​the kingdom. The screams of your father who kept repeating "down the sails!" echoes in your mind, as you see the crew startled and confused by the unrestrained storm that hindered your return home. The life of sailors is not easy, your father has always reminded you, but that night, you thought that nothing could have saved you. From the bowels of the sea, a wall of water rose up that only when you remembered, your skin get upset with terror, it was only a matter of a few seconds before it hit your ship with a deafening blow making it overturn and swallowing it deep in the abyss. you feel your body slip away from the ship, while you screamed desperately at your father's name, then a violent dip in the water made you lose consciousness and from that moment there is darkness.

Your eyes snapped open and you screamed out of your lips a terrified gasp, your forehead was beaded with sweat, while your skin stiffened because of the sudden feeling of frost. You were lying on the ground, in place that was unknown to you, it looked like a cave, maybe you were shipwrecked somewhere? With the last thread of voice that you had left you called your father's name in fright, but I received no answer but your echo. You tried to stand up but a dizziness forced you to lose your balance and fall to the ground, then you dragged yourself close to the nearest wall and leaned against it, you started to walk slowly towards the hypothetical exit of that cave. Were you terrified, and if there were animals or banquets? How would you defend yourself? "Is anybody there?" you asked worried.

You observed the landscape in front of you but there was not much to see, it was pitch dark and this was not improving the situation. You had to stay in the cave or maybe venture to seek help. As absurd as it could be, you gathered all the courage possible and bracollando you entered the dense vegetation. "Is anyone there? I am unarmed, please do not attack me" you said to some possible passerby, hoping it was not a desert island. Yet something in you you felt a little voice that told you that you were not alone in that place, you felt that something was there, you felt the disturbing feeling of a pair of eyes that followed you with every step. Suddenly you felt the dry throat and the distant sound of rustling water, made your eyes light up. You dragged yourself out of the vegetation finding a small pond in front of you, without thinking twice you knelt and quenched your thirst, also washing your face steeped in salt and sweat. In fact, only now did you realize your unkempt and dirty appearance, probably better to give yourself a wash, so as to disinfect the few wounds you had gotten yourself in the sinking.

Taking a quick look around, you quickly get rid of your ruined clothes and touching the water of the lake with your feet you could feel the temperature being slightly cold. Little by little you submerged yourself until the water touched your shoulders, you inclined your head backwards to wet your hair, at that moment your eyes narrowed and it was then that you placed yourself in front of you new that frightening wave that swept you and your crew. Your eyes barred scared and breathing hard, you felt like the feeling of being underwater, as if the salt had clogged your nostrils and your lungs filled with water. You brought a freaky mouth to your mouth trying to fight those demons inside your head. But meanwhile another demon was staring at your figure between the thick and dark vegetation. A human, a small and frightened human. It was almost a tender mink if it weren't for its non-magical nature. Yet despite that, those eyes looked at every inch of the girl's body, while in her mind the hatred clashed with the sudden physical attraction, which slowly drank her tense nerves.

"Who is there?" suddenly the young woman's trembling voice made the magical creature awaken from her thoughts. A languid smile rippled in her thin lips, it would have been fun to play with this new prey. "Oh believe me, in the depths of your heart you know you don't want to know" a hoarse voice rose up in the bushes, making you stop your heart for a few moments. "Are you a bandit?" you asked trembling as a light laugh echoed low in the dark. "A bandit you say?" he asked ironically "Oh you humans are so dull as well as being ruthless" Human? Was he a freak? "Why don't you come out into the open?" you asked, trying to defend yourself, while your arms covered your breast, a threatening growl made you almost jump. "I ask the questions here" said the male voice as the trees slowly seemed to move, your eyes barred with terror when you saw a mighty dark figure behind you on the water. The thing that made you shiver was those long horns that protruded from his head. "Come on, why don't you turn around?" the monster asked in a teasing tone "Didn't you want the beast to come out in the open?" he whispered hoarsely in your ear, brushing your skin with his sharp teeth.

Your spine was shaken by a sinister shiver and you half-closed your eyes and whispered "Is it hell?" you asked, feeling like a fool "Am I dead?" at that point the rough fingers helped by the sharp nails traced a slight outline on your neck moving your wet hair on your right shoulder. A guttural laugh preceded his words. "Oh no little flower, you are alive and well, to your misfortune" the monster said, savoring the scent of your wet hair, and then grabbing your face with a firm hand making you turn towards him. "And until you tell me who brought you here, I will enjoy eating you inch by inch" he said a step from your lips. You opened your eyes with fear, finding yourself in front of a hollow face of a young man with long tousled hair, his eyes were something scary but at the same time magnetic, as if they were devouring your soul, but the even more shocking feature was its enormous wings, the plumage seemed similar to one of those wild but at the same time majestic birds of prey that you had seen with your father in the eastern deserts. "Mmmmh...I could start with this nice little arm" he said in a threatening winged monster tone, pulling your left arm from your breast too easily, bringing your wrist closer to his teeth. Obviously he knew he was playing his part well, he would never have devoured a human, but it was delightfully fun to see your body tremble, while your eyes were strained by tension. "Borra! Leave that girl immediately!" another male voice echoed towards the shores of the lake, you turned and your eyes met another winged man with a dark complexion and long black hair adorned with braids. The man who apparently was called Borra raised his eyes to the sky, giggling profoundly. "Oh come on Conall! How did I not understand that it was you who brought this little poultice to our land?" he replied ironically.

“Her ship was hit by the last storm, she is the only survivor of her crew” Conall explained, still waiting for Borra to leave your naked body alone. "So?" Borra asked with disinterested approaching his teeth towards your wrist in a threatening way, in panic you turned towards the other man, silently imploring help. "And then I couldn't let her die" the raven tried to justify himself. "This does not change things, you know that humans have exterminated our population and forced us into exile and she is a human" replied Borra agonized. "I will keep her under my wing, I will teach her our customs and culture, you will see that she is not like the others, she would have already attacked you" he tried to object Conall. A few moments passed that for you were centuries and when you turned towards Borra's eyes he gave a sinister smile, which caused the rubbing of his canines on your wet skin, you thought he would bite you and instead he placed a kiss on your wrist, letting go of your arm. "All right, my friend, today I feel quite magnanimous and I agree with you, but on one condition..." he said as suddenly a wing of his enveloped your body away from Conik's viksta "I will take care of her, on my way"continued the other man with a small grin “You can be sure that I will not twist a hair, you have my word" Borra finally explained resting his hand on his muscular chest.

Conall threw you a glance at this point, noticing your worried face peeping out from Borra's wing and with a light sigh hovered in the air with a flap of wings. "I'll come to see her every now and then to see if you don't lie" said the raven and then disappeared who knows where. You remained silent until a draft of icy wind made you remember your clothes on the shore of the lake, so you started to take them back and while you were about to dress again, you threw a sgaurdo to the winged monster in front of you who kept looking at you without the minimal shame. "Could you please look elsewhere?" you asked a little nervously, while Borra snorted loudly, obeying. "As if it will be the last I will see you naked in my arms, foolish human..." he said making you blush conspicuously.

[driedletters]

The Cruel Prince • Holly Black     ★★★★★

•  Quotes

Jude ran at the man, slamming her fists against his chest, kicking at his legs. She wasn’t even scared. She wasn’t sure she felt anything at all.

•

As for dancing, once begun, you mortals will dance yourselves to death if we don’t prevent it.

•

Three is an odd configuration of sisters. There’s always one on the outside.

•

“Dirt. It’s what you came from, mortal. It’s what you’ll return to soon enough. Take a big bite.” “Make me,” I say before I can stop myself.

•

Nicasia���s wrong about me. I don’t desire to do as well in the tournament as one of the fey. I want to win. I do not yearn to be their equal. In my heart, I yearn to best them.

•

Cardan is even more beautiful than the rest, with black hair as iridescent as a raven’s wing and cheekbones sharp enough to cut out a girl’s heart. I hate him more than all the others. I hate him so much that sometimes when I look at him, I can hardly breathe.

•

You mean because of Cardan and his Court of Jerks?

•

The pictures are taken one right after the other, the kind you have to sit in a booth for. Vivi is in the photos, her arm draped over the shoulders of a grinning, pink-haired mortal girl.

Having stepped off the edge, what I want to do is fall.

•

Liking both girls and boys is the only thing in this scenario Madoc wouldn’t be upset with Vivi about.

•

I delight in the chemicals that would doubtless sicken all the lords and ladies at the Court.

•

We’ve gone three rounds like this already. I keep thinking of the lazy blink of Cardan’s lashes over his coal-bright eyes. He looked gleeful, gloating, as though my fist tightening on his shirt was exactly what he would have wished. As though, if I struck him, it would be because he had made me do it.

•

Beg. Make it pretty. Flowery. Worthy of me.

•

You think because you can humiliate me, you can control me? Well, I think you’re an idiot. Since we started being tutored together, you’ve gone out of your way to make me feel like I’m less than you. And to coddle your ego, I have made myself less. I have made myself small, I have kept my head down. But it wasn’t enough to make you leave Taryn and me alone, so I’m not going to do that anymore.

• 

As I make my way back to the tournament and my sisters, I can’t stop thinking of Cardan’s shocked face, nor can I stop considering Locke’s smile. I am not altogether sure which is more thrilling and which more dangerous.

•

Not that I’d be the first to green gown her. Faeries

•

It feels a little bit like expecting a proposal of marriage, only to get offered the role of mistress.

•

“Now no one will be able to control you,” he says, and then pauses for a moment. “Except for me.”

•

Truly, he has come by his cruelty honestly in Balekin’s care. He has been raised up in it, instructed in its nuances, honed through its application. However horrible Cardan might be, I now see what he might become and am truly afraid.

•

Welcome,” says the Roach, “to the Court of Shadows.”

•

Not totally Cardan’s puppet like the rest of them.

•

Hard enough to dig through the page, maybe to scar the desk beneath. If that’s what he did to the paper, I shudder to think what he wants to do to me.

•

I have been trying to feel nothing about what happened. I am afraid that if I begin to feel, I won’t be able to bear it. I am afraid that the emotion will be like a wave sucking me under.

It’s not the first awful thing I have endured and pushed into the back of my brain. That’s how I’ve been coping, and if there’s another, better way, I do not know it.

•

He’s kind of a weird kid, maybe because he’s a faerie or maybe because all kids, human or inhuman, are equally weird.

•

Why don’t you ever trust me with him?” I shout, and Oriana wheels around, shocked that I said a thing we don’t say.

•

Mithridatism, it’s called. Isn’t that a funny name? The process of eating poison to build up immunity. So long as I don’t die from it, I’ll be harder to kill.

•

I do not understand why he likes me, but it is exciting to be liked.

•

We are children of tragedy.” He shakes his head and then smiles. “This is not how I meant to begin. I meant to give you wine and fruit and cheese. I meant to tell you how your hair is as beautiful as curling woodsmoke, your eyes the exact color of walnuts. I thought I could compose an ode about it, but I am not very good at odes.”

•

He watches me as the girl kisses his mouth, watches me as she slides her hand beneath the hem of his silly, ruffly shirt.

•

Do not reveal your skill with a blade. Do not reveal your mastery over glamour. Do not reveal all that you can do. Little did Prince Dain know that my real skill lies in pissing people off.

•

I think of Cardan’s mouth, flaked with gold

•

I love my parents’ murderer; I suppose I could love anyone. I’d like to love him.

•

Time to change partners,” a voice says, and I look to see that it’s the worst person possible: Cardan. “Oh,” he says to Locke. “Did I steal your line?”

•

Dark silver paint streaks over his cheekbones, and black lines run along his lashes. The left one is smeared, as though he forgot about it and wiped his eye.

•

With a sigh, I take down my braids, rubbing my hands through my hair until it hangs wild in my face. “You look…” he says, and then trails off, blinking a few times, not seeming able to finish. I am guessing the hair thing worked better than he had expected.

•

Jude?” he asks, up against the wall, pronouncing my name carefully, as though to avoid slurring. I am not sure I have ever heard him use my actual name before. “Surprised?” I ask, a fierce grin starting on my face. The most important boy in Faerie and my enemy, finally in my power. It feels even better than I thought it would. “You shouldn’t be.”

•

The High King Balekin is a friend to my lady’s Court,” Cardan says, silver-tongued in his silver fox mask.

•

Tell me anyway,” he says, and yawns. I really want to slap him.

•

I hate how I feel around him, the irrational panic when I touch his skin.

•

Cardan’s clothes are disarranged, from crawling under tables or being captured and tied, and his infamous tail is showing under the white lawn of his shirt. It is slim, nearly hairless, with a tuft of black fur at the tip. As I watch, the tail forms one wavering curve after another, snaking back and forth, betraying his cool face, telling its own story of uncertainty and fear.

•

Only in my dreams has Cardan ever been like this. Begging. Miserable. Powerless

•

...a love mark on my brow so all who looked upon me would be sick with desire, ...

•

Let’s talk about your behavior tonight,” says Madoc, leaning forward. “Let’s talk about your behavior tonight,” I return.

•

So he proposed to you,” I say. “While the royal family got butchered. That’s so romantic.

•

I think of Cardan tied to a chair to cheer myself.

•

Then I think of the way he looked up at me through the curtain of his crow-black hair, of the curling edges of his drunken smile, and I don’t feel in the least bit comforted.

•

... ‘mortal feelings are so volatile that it’s impossible to help toying with them a little’.

•

He smiles down at me, as if the reason I’m on my knees is because I am curtsying.

•

I’m nervous,” he says. “I smile a lot when I’m nervous. I can’t help it

•

Very well.” He fixes me with a spiteful look. “I hate you because your father loves you even though you’re a human brat born to his unfaithful wife, while mine never cared for me, though I am a prince of Faerie. I hate you because you don’t have a brother who beats you. And I hate you because Locke used you and your sister to make Nicasia cry after he stole her from me. Besides which, after the tournament, Balekin never failed to throw you in my face as the mortal who could best me.

•

Most of all, I hate you because I think of you. Often. It’s disgusting, and I can’t stop.”

•

Just looking at him makes me feel hot with shame. “You sure you brought me here just to talk.

•

Jude Duarte, daughter of clay, I swear myself into your service. I will act as your hand. I will act as your shield. I will act in accordance with your will. Let it be so for one year and one day…and not for one minute more.

•

I fix him with a look. “I can be charming. I charmed you, didn’t I?” He rolls his eyes. “Do not expect others to share my depraved tastes.”

•

Oh, really?” The human surprises me by speaking first. “Yes, mortal,” I say, like the hypocrite I am. 

•

We go over the plans again, and Cardan helps us map out Hollow Hall. I try not to be too conscious of his long fingers tracing over the paper, of the sick thrill I get when he looks at me.

•

By this point, I have told this story enough that it’s easy to hit only the necessary parts, to run through the information quickly and convincingly

•

With Vivi, I feel forever doomed to be the little sister, foolish and about to topple over onto my face.

•

I do not have endless patience,” Balekin growls. “Cultivate it,” Cardan says, and with a small bow, he navigates us away from Balekin and Madoc.

•

Jude?” I may never be used to the sound of my name on his lips.

•

The Ghost tosses the crown to my identical twin. It falls at Taryn’s feet.

•

Of Nicasia giving Cardan a lingering kiss on his royal cheek.

•

He rises from the throne. “Come, have a seat.” His voice is replete with danger, lush with menace. The flowering branches have sprouted thorns so thickly that petals are barely visible. “This is what you wanted, isn’t it?” he asks. “What you sacrificed everything for. Go on. It’s all yours.”

•  Black, Holly. “The Cruel Prince (The Folk of the Air Book 1)”. 2018.

[wonderlusttwilight]

♡ Alice, Jasper x Reader ♡ 18+

{ Includes: dirty talk, blowjobs, petnames (only like.... two) and eating out. Will probably get more graphic if I write a part two. Lmao. } *~* Jasper has been watching Alice for some time now. Which, yeah, it was a given due to the fact they've been together for centuries. However, the typical loving and affectionate look she would always give him was no longer there. And that was not only concerning but worrisome for Jasper. Had he done something wrong? Usually, Jasper never acted like this. He was better behaved than that. He never acted as if he was an anxious, teenage girl, worrying about what was going on in the relationship. Expect, that's totally how he was behaving. And he hated every second of it too. One day, he finally gathered enough courage up and put all those concerned and anxious feelings to the side as he goes to ask Alice about it. "Darlin'?" He gives a gentle tap on the frame of the door as he waited for an answer. He hears muffled whispers, a faint giggle and then some shuffling coming from inside. Finally, the door is being pulled open and Alice is standing there, giving a sheepish yet... almost shy smile. "Hi, baby." She cooed, leaning up on the balls of her feet as she plants a gentle yet adoring kiss on Jasper's cheek. "You know, I've been expecting you." She said as her feet came back to touch the floor. Alice reaches over, taking Jasper's hand into her much smaller one as she goes over to their queen sized mattress. There, on the bed was another female, looking at Alice and Jasper both with the same expression Alice had given him not only a second ago. "Jasper, you remember (Y/N) correct?" Alice asks, dropping his hand as she makes herself comfortable on the bed besides the girl. (Y/N) (L/N) They've only met a few times. Five, if not the most. They saw each other at a party they held not too long ago, bumped into her while taking a stroll into town once and of course, they all went to high school and shared classes together. He wouldn't deny the obvious fact - (Y/N) was as beautiful as Alice. And a girl that gorgeous was hard to forget, truly. Though, he would never admit that. Even though Alice, really, wasn't the jealous type. Jasper preferred to keep that thought to himself. Jasper couldn't help but feel concerned and somewhat frustrated then. (Y/N) was a human. Why was she here? Among us, blood drinking and undeadly creatures? Jasper wondered. She, so easily, could expose our secret too! He thought. And right as that thought popped into his head, Alice gave a nervous giggle and shook her head from side to side. "I'm no mind reader like Edward is but I know what you're thinking, Jas. Come, sit down with us. We've got to talk." And as confused as he may be, - especially with what she just said in front of a human - Jasper obliges and sits in the middle of them both, the mattress sinking beneath his weight. "What's going on?" He asks, eyebrows furrowed, arms crossed and lips parted to the side as a mixture of emotions paint itself across his face. All of which were negative but that was a given and quite obvious. Alice takes a deep breath in and he can't help but take notice that (Y/N) had reached over and squeezed Alice's hand. Why - he didn't know. But he was soon going to find out. "Jasper, as you already know, I haven't been myself lately." Jasper nodded and gave a chuckle. "I'm very well aware of that, doll." He replied. "And... well, I don't know how to tell you this but... (Y/N) is the reason." Jasper blinked. Once, twice. He didn't understand. Alice and (Y/N) both looked at each other once they took notice of his expression and they erupted into a storm of giggles. Almost as soon as it started, however, they stopped and their expressions changed back to serious. "I've been having visions. Of this exquisite, gorgeous and oh, so wonderful girl." (Y/N)'s cheeks gave away a hint of crimson and this time, it was Alice that squeezed her hand in return. And Jasper knew in that moment Alice was talking about (Y/N). "And... well, some of us just don't have one love. We have two. Maybe even more. But in this situation, it's you two." She explained. "And I know you feel the same way about her aswell. Don't even try to lie or deny it. I've been seeing the visuals everywhere. The feelings for her are the same you have for me. You gained them at the party we had a few months back." And Jasper sat there, feeling dumbfounded and yet totally foolish too. Of course, he couldn't get away with his thoughts or actions. Alice could see everything. Even before it happened. "That's why I've been distancing myself." Alice continued. "I didn't mean to, my love. It has nothing to do with you, either. You're as perfect as you were when I first met you. So, do not fret and think you have done something wrong because you haven't. However, I had to have you come to me before I could tell you what was going on and why I was acting the way I was. Or... well, come to us, anyhow. So, we could show you how this all would work. Us, three, together." Alice's tongue darted out of her mouth as she wets her lips. "Besides, isn't it every man's fantasy to have two, beautiful women beside him?" "Or, perhaps underneath him?" And that was the first thing (Y/N) had said during this entire conversation. And quite frankly, both women's words went straight to his cock and he could feel it twitch in his pants. "Come on, Jasper. Admit it. Don't lie to yourself. You've been wanting her for some time, yes? Wanting - no, craving for this for awhile. Now, is your chance. Today and every day, you can have us." Alice purred, leaning down as her tongue comes within contact of Jasper's neck as she sets soft yet wet and seductive kisses over the smooth, cold surface. Jasper grunts in reply, eyes fluttering shut as he gives a weak, timid nod. "Hm," He mumbles. "Today and everyday?" He asked, a smirk finding its way on his lips. "I can live with that, darlin'." "Heyyy." (Y/N) mewled, her bottom lip jutting out into a pout. "If she's darlin', what's going to be my petname?" She asks, the pout only growing bigger yet both Alice and Jasper knew she wasn't truly upset by it. "Considering you just mewled like a kitten, that's what you will be. Now, kitten, why don't you and darlin' both come here and show me a good time, hm? After all, I have been wanting this for some time." Alice tssked, slapping Jasper's chest playfully. (Y/N) watched with fond in her eyes and love written across her face. How, on earth, did she get so lucky to be involved in this relationship? She'd never know. She's quick to snap out of her thoughts and she goes to stand up, eyes never leaving her now boyfriend and girlfriend's. She, as she strips down to nothing but her panties and bra, watches Alice and Jasper lazily yet hungrily kissing each other. Jasper's hands were on Alice's waist while Alice's hand was dangled inbetween his golden curls, tugging it here and there as the session grew hotter and the two grew more sexually frustrated with each other. Even though neither three had done anything sexual yet, the room was beginning to gain the scent of it. Jasper and Alice are quick to pull back and this time, while Alice is getting rid of the clothes she wore, Jasper gestured (Y/N) over with his fingers. "C'mere, kitten. Think you can undo my belt and unzip these jeans for me?" Asks Jasper, his eyes dilating as they gaze down, taking in her perfectly rounded body. Noticing every small detail there was to her. The small freckles on the outside skirt of her stomach, the moles on her thighs and hips and fuck - the sweet scent of her wetness dripping down into the fabric of her underwear, getting the layer of her panties smothered with her own juices. Fuck. "Actually, on second thought, strip out of those pretty little panties, kitten. Then, come and sit on my face." Jasper's eyes flicker over to Alice who now was fully nude and looking at them both with lust and hunger. "As for you, darlin', undo my belt and zipper and suck my cock like a good girl." Alice smirks in reply as she goes and focuses on the lower half of her boyfriend while (Y/N) goes to the top part. With her breath hitching in her throat and her heart pounding loudly against her ears, (Y/N) squats down and pushes her warm, wet pussy onto Jasper's face. Moaning in response, Jasper is quick to devor her tasty cunt. This causes (Y/N) to shriek out in pure ecstasy and bliss, already quick to rock her hips back and forth against the man's tongue. His tongue was going in and out of her pussy while doing figure 8's on her clit too here and there and Christ - this is what Heaven was. (Y/N) was in it, for sure. Meanwhile, Alice had Jasper's eight inched, thick and full cock in her mouth and she was bopping her head up and down, hollowing in her cheeks as she tries to take him all in. Jasper, because of this, fucks (Y/N) with his tongue faster, even adding his finger into her warm, massively soaked walls. "Ohh... fuck!" She squeals, feeling Jasper's cold yet thick and long finger inside her vagina. (Y/N) could feel the end of his lips turning up into a smile against her skin as he continued his actions. He then added another finger and by this time, (Y/N)'s body is trembling, her head is thrown back and eyes are nearly back in her head. "Oh, fuck, oh fuck, oh fuck-" She chants, feeling the familiar heat pooling at her stomach and before she knows it, an orgasm is ripping through her and she's making an even bigger mess on Jasper's face, coating his skin with her juices. It doesn't take long until Jasper is fucking himself into Alice's mouth and in five thrusts, he's cumming with a cry of both of their names. (Y/N) tumbles over and flops onto the bed, her chest heaving up and down as she tries and catches her breath. Alice is humming in pure delight and satisfaction as she wipes her mouth off, seductively licking her fingers with bits of Jasper's sperm on them. "Always taste so good." She smirked, leaning over as she kisses her boyfriend, moaning softly at the delightfully sweet taste of (Y/N) on his tongue. They kiss for awhile before pulling back and looking at (Y/N) who now had her hands down inbetween her thighs, a sheepish smile on her face. "What? That's not all we're going to be doing, is it?" And both Jasper and Alice smirk in unison before shaking their heads 'no'. "Okay, good. Now, I want both of you to fuck me. Right here and right now." And well.. Jasper, really, didn't expect his night to go like this at all nor the conversation with Alice to end up like this. But... really, he isn't complaining. 》 My first smut which I am full aware isn't the best. But nonetheless, I hope you enjoy it. I'm actually thinking about making this into a small, 3 or 4 mini series. Not sure yet. I know the next part will have more sexual explicit shit 😂 Actual fucking rather than just a blowjob and eating out. Anyways. I hope you enjoyed :) 《

[unordinary-analysis]

Episode 162

Honorable mentions:

Small bit on John up here concerning what I said last episode because I didn’t want to ruin the flow of this post with this, but when John kicked the Joker impersonator, I knew that the old John is back. Like for certain, I just got this feeling. John may still feel like he’s running from himself or that he might be able to fight back like I brought up last time, but the thing is: John’s already lost the battle. You can’t run from yourself and you certainly can’t fight your true personality with one that’s entirely false. I’m not sure if it’s better that John doesn’t understand this or not.

Honestly, can we go somewhere with the Leilah thing? It’s just sitting there and, I don’t know, it’s not interesting anymore

Sera (as promised):

Ok, I know a lot of people have been getting worked up recently over Sera and her whole perspective of the situation at hand. And I have literally not talked about it yet. So. Yeah. Here we go

If you read the top comments, you know that people are upset and sympathetic towards Seraphina, more so than any other character currently. And that’s for a reason. Seraphina has had a rough couple of months. She lost her powers, got bullied, got harassed, got kidnapped, and then soon after, she finds out that her best friend for a long time, someone who’s she’s probably connected with more than anyone else before in her life, has been lying to her about himself. And not a small lie either. A lie that totally changes the entire meaning and foundation of their friendship. Not only is John not a cripple, but he is currently the most powerful student at Wellston and is using his power to anonymously assault other students. And it’s not like John shares anything with Sera, like his issues with the hierarchy (excluding a few comments here and there) and the majority of his thing with Arlo. Sera knows the truth, but she doesn’t actually have an explanation, which honestly is so much worse.

And the thing is, John still hasn’t actually told her himself. He’s still putting on this facade for Seraphina, not knowing that it probably hurts her the most. Because if he didn’t tell her about this, then there was this whole possibility that he was lying about other things that he also didn’t tell her. I don’t know, just… things are looking pretty shitty for Sera atm.

In this episode particularly, when Seraphina interacts with John, she seems angry and cold. Not in the way that she used to be before she met John or even when they were friends, that was a different, more apathetic feeling. Now all I’m getting from Seraphina is attempted indifferent anger, but even here you can tell that her emotions really are acting up in this. She isn’t able to pretend she doesn’t care.

Anyway, Seraphina gets really vague when talking to John, hinting however she can that what Tuesday is doing is foolish. One line in particularly is aimed at John. “Nobody’s safe anymore. So much for trying to live a peaceful life, huh?” It’s calling out all the times John has said all he wants is to be left alone by the other students, that all he wants is peace. Because, like I said, Seraphina hasn’t talked to Arlo yet (something that better be a thing soon. Maybe next episode. I don’t know. I’m not reading it until I’ve finished). Sera doesn’t know that the whole reason John is acting as Joker is because Arlo dragged him into this (not exactly, but both John and Arlo feel this way so).

All she knows is that her friend has been lying to her and still is about something so earth-shatteringly huge. The whole basis of their friendship is being stripped apart because of this secret and John doesn’t even want to tell her.

So: Sera also tries to get a reason out of John for why he’s doing things as Joker by asking some random, suspicious questions like “Was all this intentional?” About the consequences of Joker’s existence. And I don’t know I guess John doesn’t really suspect anything too bad with Sera, but honestly, are you dumb. Anyway. This is about Sera. And since we are at the end of that hallway scene it means we’re moving on to that infirmitory scene, the one that really had the comment section bawling.

I know I’ve been making a big deal out of how John has impacted Sera in the last bits, but honestly the loss of her powers seems to hold an even deeper significance to her, I feel. Sure, she cries for John and he’s on her mind, but below all of that we always see her thinking about her powers and I really think that that is really the thing that turns everything sour for Seraphina. Ever since she lost her powers, she’s had to get used to feeling helpless and less than before. Seraphina was raised to believe that her power made her special and that because of it, people would expect a lot from her and she would have to deliver. Sera was told that her powers meant that she would always come first, in everything.

This involuntary loss of her powers has in a way stripped Seraphina down of everything that made her special, that made her her. She had always identified with her ability, even when she decided she didn’t want to be queen anymore and started to hang out with John. She still walked around like she had purpose and like she could fuck up anyone she wanted. And she could. That was just who Seraphina was. In the beginning of the comic, the only way students would refer to her would be in whispers or calling her “basically a god.” That’s. Who. She. Was.

This bit isn’t articulated very well, but I’m just trying to stress the meaning Sera got from her powers, and now that they’re gone, it’s like everything in her life has suddenly become unsteady. Like even though she’s faced so much, it was only after her powers were taken that everything became so much more harsh and real. Now, there’s no safety net. In this episode, Sera thinks, “I was able to stay strong because I thought John would always be there with me. But now…. After seeing the truth… I’ve never felt so hopeless.” This quote emphasizes her hurt about John’s betrayal and her hollowness because of it. But the fact that the only thing holding Seraphina up was John after her powers got taken away is astonishing. It’s hard to believe, when I read her in the earlier chapters, that she would need someone other than herself for anything. And it’s because her powers are gone.

One of the more substantial pieces of evidence is when Seraphina asks herself, “What am I even supposed to believe anymore?” She doesn’t have anything left. She had her powers. And then she had John. What Does she have left?

Anyway I know I should talk about Sera more and what she’s growing through, but the thing is: I think I have an answer to my question and I would much rather talk about that. I’m no good at talking about feelings sorry ;-;

Theory:

Okay: I’m very excited for this. And when I thought of it I was smiling and stuff ok.

So: you know how the comic is called UnOrdinary? The flashbacks in this chapter of when John and Sera were talking about the actual book UnOrdinary make me think of something.

Is the comic re-enacting in a way the story? The book of UnOrdinary has always been so puzzling to me. It’s existence, it’s reason. Because why would uru-Chan name her comic after this one book? At first, I thought it was because it was John’s inspiration and he was going to use its morals to make the world a better place like he talked about, but that’s clearly wrong now.

I think that the book UnOrdinary itself, as an object, is not important. And it won’t be very much so for the characters. I don’t think we’ll see much more interaction with it in the future. I think, however, that the content, and not just the moral message of the book is directly guiding the story of the comic.

Every once in a while, I’ll say, “Why don’t we know how the protagonist dies in UnOrdinary,” and I’m sure by that sentence alone, it’s pretty clear what I’m thinking. Anyway, I was always confused as to why such important details were kept out of the story because if this book really is important to the story, which it has to be, why is there like no information about it. All we know is that the main character, “was the most powerful yet he still listened to others. And through that he realized everyone has something valuable to offer.” (Direct quote from flashback John in this episode). So: that was suspicious.

And that’s what I’m here to talk about. UnOrdinary as UnOrdinary.

The thing is, all this emphasis has been put onto John in regards to the book. His father wrote it. He’s read it countless times. He admires the hero. We’ve been tricked for so long that the protagonist John, but its not. That literally screams anime cliche and the whole concept of UnOrdinary is that Uru-chan wanted to write a comic that would make fun of anime stereotypes.

I believe that Seraphina is the protagonist that represents the protagonist in the book UnOrdinary. It makes sense because in John’s words, “He was the most powerful… yet he still listened to others. And through that… He realized everyone has something valuable to offer.” And as the story goes on, it’s obvious to see that Seraphina is progressively identifying more with these traits. She’s teaching low-tiers how to fight, trying to convince John that violence is bad. All John ever did was ignore the other “low-tiers” despite apparently trying to act like the UnOrdinary (book) protagonist.

Also the way that Sera thinks of John’s betrayal as if he was playing a part suggests that he himself was trying to be the main character.

This does bring other questions though. Will Sera get her powers back? What about the whole idea that in the book, the protagonist is the only person in the world that has powers? Is that some cruel twist of the current situation?

Is Sera going to die like the protagonist of UnOrdinary?

Okay I’m tired so I’m leaving this here. Because my writing is really bad today and I have homework.

I just want to bring something up quickly that’s a little more short-term. I know Seraphina has been watching John. John’s been dropping hints, but his actions don't align with what she’s saying. I’ve already said she can’t trust anything he says now and she should figure that something else is up that she doesn't know about yet.

I think that Seraphina is going to finally uncover John’s past. The stuff we know from Arlo and Isen, but maybe even something more. I want Seraphina to meet Claire.

That’s it because I can’t properly explain my ideas, but yeah. See ya soon for the next episode review. Probably won’t be tonight but who knows.

[sexvimpulse]

Elias: [Hasn't seen Emme in a while as he's been so busy with Vivien occupying all of his time. But he sets aside a day off for her and waits for her to show up so they can explore Paris together] Mon Chatonne? [Hears a knock at the door and opens it] Bonjour, baby. [Murmurs as he pulls her against him] I've missed you.

Emmeline: [Pulls on a mini sundress and applies makeup, wanting to look good enough to eat and better than his precious Vivien. Beneath it all she feels hurt and upset. Scheduling a date with Augustine, she goes to see Elias] Bonjour, Monsieur. [Swallows as she sees him, instantly captivated by his scent and appearance but she tries to resist] Sure. [Pulls out of his embrace as she stares up at him] Why am I here, Elias? [Isn’t sweet with him, already expecting him to end things with her]

Elias: [Bites his lip as she looks so fucking good, he's genuinely surprised as she's sour with him] I thought we could have a date in the city like we used to. [Pouts] What's wrong? [His brows draw together, confused]

Emme: [Barely meets his eyes as she doesn’t want to give in] Porquoi? Why should we do that, Elias? [Raises a brow as she folds her arms against her chest. She parts her lips and feels her chest heaving as he doesn’t understand why she’s this way] Nothing. Why would anything be wrong, Monsieur? [Tilts her head] You have everything you want again, non? [Bites her lip as her eyes are filled with pain]

Elias: [He listens to her, tilting his head as he makes sense of her words] This is because of Vivien? [Cocks a dark brow] Porquoi? [Blinks his baby blue hues] I told you I was in love with her. [Licks his lips] Non? [Eyes her incredulously, suddenly itching for a cigarette] She knows about us. [Shrugs] I told her I wasn't giving you up just because she decided to show up again. [Chews on the inside of his cheek, thinking he was so transparent with her and not understanding her attitude]

Emme: [Her features are expressionless until he reminds her of his feelings for the woman—something that he’ll never feel for her] Oui, the woman who broke your heart and left. [Retorts before hearing him. She parts her lips, blinking as she really doesn’t matter to him] Oh so I’m your backup in case she leaves again? [Feigns Innocence] Thats it isn’t it, Monsieur? I’m not stupid.

Elias: [Blink as he hears her words, parting his lips to speak and then thinking against it. He remains quiet for a moment, not having seen this side of her] No, that's not what I said. [Speaks softly but his patience is wearing thin. He hollows his cheeks as she crams more words into his mouth] Why are you being like this? You know how I feel about you. [Shakes his head] I would be giving you part of my earnings if I didn't care about you. [Tries to be patient]

Emme: How you feel about me? What do you even feel? [Stares at him incredulously] How you feel will never be what you feel for her. Isn’t that right, Monsieur? [Her chest aches as she speaks the words out loud. She bites her lower lip as he mentions the tips] Maybe a part of you does care, Monsieur. But at the end of the day you want her. [Walks up to him as she furrows her brows] Say it. Say that she’s the one you want.

Elias: I care about you, Emmeline. [Tells her the truth as she bombards him with accusations] I want you both. [Blinks] That's why I'm not letting you go. [Clenches his jaw] Is that what you want? Do you want to end things with me? [Asks as his chest aches] You weren't just someone to fill my time. Otherwise I wouldn't be trying to spend time with you now.

Emme: [Raises a brow as she doesn’t understand his reasoning at all] You want us both but your heart is with her, non? [Narrows her eyes before biting her lip as the thought of really ending things makes her feel so much pain] Then what was I? [Studies him but doesn’t understand, feeling so foolish for falling for him when he said he never feels things for others] This is the only time you’ve reached out to me! Do you know how many times I’ve waited to hear from you? [Raises her voice as her chest aches] You say you want us both, but it would make no difference if I was out of the picture!

Elias: [Stares at her] You could have reached out to me too, Emme. [Blinks as he points out the truth] I've been busy but I still thought of you enough to want to see you and make plans with you. [Swallows as he doesn't like this pressure she puts on him when he thought they had an understanding] I think what you want and what I can give are two different things, Emmeline.. I can see this is hard for you, oui? Should we end things?

Emme: [Scoffs and looks away, shaking her head. She doesn’t reach out because he’s the one who really leads them] For what reason if not to pass the time until she comes back? Is the fucking not good enough? [Her jealousy shows before she feels her heart breaking] You love her. So end it. [Swallows before looking away as tears well in her eyes]

Elias: [Is taken aback at the disrespect and her not understanding his position] Oui. I love her. This is true. [Shrugs] You don’t like that. So I think we should end things. [Purses his lips as his chest aches, but knowing it’s for the best if she’s unhappy] It’s over, Emmeline.

Emme: [Doesn’t look at him he tells her how he feels for Vivien, reminding her how she’ll never measure up. She lowers her head as tears fall down her cheeks, quickly brushing it away and stepping back from him] Its over. [Repeats after him] It was going to end this way anyway, non? You pitied me and that’s why you wanted us both.

Elias: [Sees her tears and weakens slightly, taking her hand and pulling her closer] It wasn’t pity that made me cum inside you, Emmeline. [Kisses her forehead] I don’t want to stop seeing you.

Emme: [Can’t bring herself to look at him but doesn’t resist as he takes her hand. Hearing him, she aches inside and feels more vulnerable] Porquoi? [Her lower lip trembles as she finally looks at him] You have everything with her.

Elias: I don’t have you. [Swallows as he grabs her face and kisses her deeply]

Emme: [Doubts him and almost pulls back before he takes her before she can. She moans into the kiss, not resisting anymore as her hunger consumes her] Daddy.. [Grips his hair as she presses her body against his] Even if you don’t love me.. don’t let go of me yet.. [Whimpers as she showers him with kisses]

Elias: [Loves as she grips his hair and melts into him, his hands roam her body before gripping her ass] I care about you, Emmeline. [Returns her kisses] And that’s more than I’ve felt for most people. [Melts at her kisses, having missed her so much] I’m too selfish. I want you both. [Sucks on her lower lip]

Emme: [Missed his hands on her as she moans in response. She closes her eyes and commits his kisses to memory, hoping that this is real between them but is afraid to give herself] Daddy.. I’ll take what I can get. [Feels desperate as he sucks on her lip, weakening her and clouding her judgement] What if she doesn’t let you have me..?

Elias: Good girl. [Licks her mouth as he lifts her into his arms and wraps her legs around his waist] It’s not up to her. [Shrugs as he takes her to their beloved couch and sits with her straddling him] Je suis desolee. Do you forgive me, Mon Chatonne? [Kisses the tops of her breasts] Can we go on our date today?

Emme: [A smile finally forms on her lips as he picks her up. She lays kisses all over his face before staring at him heatedly as they end up on her favorite place] I can never resist you, Daddy.. [Pouts before closing her eyes as she feels his tender kisses against her flesh] I forgive you. Do you forgive me? [Kisses the corner of his lips, addicted to his taste] Oui.. I want to have our day together.

Elias: I don’t know. [Pouts as he pretends to contemplate] You were pretty bad. [Scoffs as he looks up at her]

Emme: [Stares at him with saddened doe-shaped eyes, pouting at her] Daddy, don’t tease me.. [Sulks as she nuzzles his neck] Je suis désolée.. I want our day.

Elias: [Tilts his head as she pouts] But you were really disrespectful, Chatonne. [Presses her, half serious] You were out of line. [Chews on the inside of his cheek as she apologizes] We can’t continue like this if your expectations don’t meet reality. [Murmurs as he makes her look at him] I’ve told you where I am with this. If you can’t accept it you should let me know.

Emme: [Blinks and looks through her thick lashes, a pout still on her lips as she hears him] Daddy.. [Whines but he cuts her off before she can continue. She aches as it seems like he’ll never fall in love with her, saddening her. Not wanting to lose him she lies and just nods her head] I know what to expect now, Monsieur. [Speaks through pouted lips, secretly telling herself that she needs to slowly fall out of love with him] You love her.. not me. [Meets his eyes] Can you forgive me now?

Elias: [Rubs the nape of her neck] I just want you to be honest with me. I will be with you. [Murmurs as he kisses her softly] Je vous aime bien. [Pouts] You are special to me. [Says as she brings up Vivien] I’ve barely known you.. [Frowns as he doesn’t like this and takes her off of him] I don’t want to do this anymore. Just go, Emme.

Emme: [Her heart aches as he sets her aside, making her realize that she’s pushing him away with how much she actually wants him] Elias, don’t.. [Looks at him and swallows back her emotions as he ends it] S’il vous plaît.. Je suis tres désolée. [Her voice trembles] It’s hard not to want you to myself, Monsieur. But I accept how it is.. If you want us both then I accept it.

Elias: [His chest aches as he doesn’t look at her] It’s not something you have to accept, Emmeline. If it’s too much for you, it’s okay to say that. [Bites his lip] I’m selfish.

Emme: [Frowns as he uses her full name. She keeps her eyes on him even when he doesn’t look at her] I know.. But I still want you, Monsieur. And I want to be wanted by you. [Takes his hand] S’il vous plaît?

Elias: [Bites his lip as he finally looks at her, taking her hand and kissing it] I want you so badly, Emme. [Pulls her stop him again] You’re my little girl.

Emme: [Longs for him as he kisses her hand before burying her face against his neck as she holds him tightly] I want to keep being your little girl, Daddy. [Whimpers as she meets his eyes] I’ll be good now. Je promets.

Elias: [Wraps his arms around her and kisses her head] Now can we have our date? I have car privileges. [Smirks as he pulls the keys to a restored mustang convertible from his shirt pocket] Shall we go, my baby?

Emme: [Nods her head before staring at the keys in excitement] Ooh, Daddy. This will be fun. [Grins as she kisses his cheek, forgetting all about it and taking what she can get] Yes, Daddy. [Hops off his lap as she takes his hand and looks up at him] Ive missed you so much.

Elias: [Smiles as she seems to be in a better mood. He leads her to the garage and opens the door for her] Isn’t it beautiful? [Muses as he gazes at the car before starting the engine and driving off the premises] Where do you want to go first, Mon Chatonne?

Emme: [Nearly gasps as she sees the car, finding it incredibly sexy] Oui, it is! [Gushes before thanking him as she gets into the passenger seat. Leans over and kisses his cheek as he gets in] Mmm.. How about we see le Eiffel? [Runs her fingers through her hair with an amused smile on her lips] We can explore the grounds. [Rests her hand on his thigh as she showers him with affection by kisses his neck]

Elias: [Smiles as she has such a simple request] Oui. Let’s go see Le Eiffel. [Feels warm as she shows him affection. He takes her into the city before they arrive at the site] Let me take a picture of you. [Pulls out his phone and captures her]

Emme: [Melts as he fulfills her request before smiling for his picture] I want one of us together, Daddy. [Extends a hand to him before holding his phone to take a picture] Merci beaucoup, Daddy. [Kisses him sweetly] Maman and I always used to have picnics here. [Takes his hand, smelling savory scents in the air] Should we find something to eat?

Elias: [Kisses her cheek as she snaps the picture] Oui, baby. What are you in the mood for? We can go to une boulangerie. [Smiles as he takes her hand] There are some shoppes here. [Shows her across the way] Merci, Emme.. for coming with me.

Emme: [Laces her fingers through his, loving how he towers over her and enjoying their time together] Mmm. Steak frites? [Follows his lead, admiring him as she looks at his face] I’m almost done filling my journal, Daddy. Can you help me find a new one? [Asks sweetly] Don’t thank me, Daddy.. I would go anywhere with you. [Purrs before pulling him in for a quick kiss]

Elias: [Returns her kiss] Anything you want. [Nods] I’m going to buy you an embossed leather cover. Then you can just fill the pages. [Tells her as they walk to one of his favorite leather boutiques near the tower]

Emme: Daddy, you don’t have to. [Speaks shyly before looking around the boutique. She looks at one with a rose designed on the front] What do you think of this one, Daddy? [Tilts her head as she holds it up] I love it in here. It reminds me of you. [Grins]

Elias: I want to. [Loves the smell of it as he looks through] I like that one. [Smiles as he takes it from her] It does? [laughs as he looks at some shoes] I like leather. [Pulls her to him, taking a trendy backpack off of the rack for her] Can I have E C embossed on this? [Asks the clerk as he pulls out his wallet and thumbs through euros to pay]

Emme: [Nods her head as her dimple appears] Oui, this whole shop is you. [Wraps her arms around his waist, practically glued to him before biting her lip as he grabs a backpack] For me? [Blushes as she feels so spoiled. She watches as the owner embosses the backpack before placing the items in a bag] Merci beaucoup, Monsieur. [Speaks charmingly before gazing up at Elias] Its so beautiful. I love it very much, Daddy. [Beams as she admires the backpack before kisses him on the cheek] Can I get dessert for us? I want to return the favor. [Coos sweetly, scratching his jaw]

Elias: Yes, for you. [Smiles as he likes to give her things] De rien, baby. [Looks down at her] Non. You need to save for your mother. [Says softly as he kisses her forehead] La boulangerie has food too. [Smiles as he takes her hand and walks down the strip to the bakery] What do you want for our picnic? [Smiles at the girl behind the counter, being friendly as he’s in a good mood]

Emme: [Pouts at him as he denies her, but appreciates that he’s doing it to help her] Still, I want to get you something. [Narrows her eyes playfully before melting from his kiss. She walks alongside him, admiring the sights] Le Refrectoire is amazing, but I’ve missed food like this. [Keeps their fingers laced together as she looks at the selection] Mm. Un baguette.. Cheese.. Fresh cuts of meat? [Points out some of the food for them to make a sandwich. She notices how the girl practically drools over him] What would you like, Daddy? [Places his arm over her shoulder, locking their fingers together as she has smug little smile on her lips]

Elias: [He lets her choose what she wants, wrapping his arm around her] Hm.. one of those and I’ll take that. [Chooses a few pastries for them before he looks at their wines] Can we have a bottle of the Cabernet? [Pulls out his wallet as he pays for them and grabs some napkins and cups for them] Ready, Chatonne? [Takes her out to the Eiffel’s lawn, taking off his jacket so she can sit on it]

Emme: Oui, Daddy. [Tips the girl even though she ignores her and has all of her attention on Elias. Helping him with some of the items, she follows him out] Merci beaucoup, mon Daddy. [Coos as she kneels on his jacket, making some room for him. She pulls the food out and sets it on top of bag] I feel so content. [Leans in as she kisses him on the cheeks and the tip of his nose before playing their food] Have you done this before, Daddy? [Cocks her head to the side as she admires the tower before feeding him some cheese] Or was this too simple for you back then? [Laughs softly]

Elias: I’ve only done this with my mother when I was small. [Tells her as he sits beside her and helps her with the food. He smiles as she feeds him] This is nice. [Savors the flavors before feeding her a little bite of cheese and meat on a slice of bread]

Emme: [Finds him endearing as she can’t stop kissing him] Sometimes I feel like we’re the same, Daddy. [Whispers sweetly before biting into the food that he offers, giggling softly as she makes a mess] Ah, désolée. [Wipes her lips before pouring some wine for him. She fills his cup before giving it] This is so perfect, Daddy. I love spending time with you. [Coos before taking her phone to take pictures of him] It feels normal. [Grins]

Elias: [He finds her cute as she makes a mess, taking the cup from her and sipping it] Mm.. [Coos, pleasured as the wine pairs well with the cheeses she chose] I love it too. [Leans in to kiss her forehead] Will you use the backpack often? [Tilts his head] When we go on more adventures?

Emme: [Drinks some wine, feeling warm inside and melting as she watches him. She takes another slice of bread and adds some meat before feeding him] Oui, Daddy. I will. [Squints her eyes in amusement before taking it out] We’ll have more adventures? [Tilts her head, heart racing] We can go out of Paris and visit Belgium. [Beams as she crawls to him, moving between his legs] Maybe even runaway. [Grins against his lips]

Elias: Of course. Why wouldn’t we? [His brows draw together as he eyes her] That sounds fun. [As she mentions running away, he smiles] You’d hate me if we ran away together. [Chuckles] I’m useless. I don’t have any life skills. [Shakes his head] I wouldn’t be able to provide for you. [Knows exactly what he is but no longer feels shame about it] That’s why I do so well at La Boîte. I don’t know how to do anything else. [Shakes his head as he looks at her between his legs] You look very beautiful today, baby.

Emme: [Tilts her head and furrows her brows] Porquoi, Daddy? I think it would be the opposite. [Listens to his words but doesn’t judge him at all. She adores him regardless of how he is] You can always learn, Daddy. [Nuzzles his neck] All I’ve done is work. [Laughs softly] You could be a writer.. or model.. maybe even a stylist. [Kisses his cheeks before blushing] Merci beaucoup, Daddy. I wanted to look good for you. [Rubs his thighs before turning around to lean against his chest and stare up at the tower] I feel happy with you, Daddy.. It makes me forget about everything else. [Sighs before looking up at him]

Elias: [laugh softly at her hope and optimism] I’m too old for that. [Shakes his head and shrugs, as he holds her when she turns around. He places a kiss on the nape of her neck] You’re young and beautiful. The whole world is yours, baby. [Rubs her arms] I want you to be free of La Boîte. [says softly as he holds her tighter against him] You make me happy too, Emme. [Nuzzles her neck and inhales her scent]

Emme: [Rolls her eyes playfully] Daddy, you make it sound like your sixty. You have a long life ahead of you. [Giggles softly before purring in sweet bliss as he lays a kiss on her. Closing her eyes, she enjoys the feel of their embrace and sighs softly] I don’t know if I want that.. [Trails off as she doesn’t want to leave and lose him] Mmm. Daddy. [Reaches over her head to run her fingers through his scalp] I always want to be this way with you. [She moans, loving the feel of his breath against her neck before turning her body more to capture his lips, kissing him slowly as if her tongue is meeting his for the first time]

Elias: You don’t know if you want to be free from La Boîte? [He asks, confused but soothed by her hands in his hair] Mm.. [Pulls her up against him as he kisses her deeply] You’ve got so much going for you. [Tells her what he truly believes] I’m crazy about you.. but I know I’ll have to let you go when you get tired of me. [Murmurs against her neck as he hides his face]

Emme: [Nods in response to his question, blushing softly. Tenderly strokes his jaw as she sucks on his tongue] I can’t stop kissing you. [Continues to press her lips to his for quick kisses] Moi? Like what, Daddy? [Tilts her head before her heart races at his words. She then furrows her brows] I’ll never be tired of you. [Speaks truthfully as she moves to see his face] Do you think you’ll get tired of me? [Pouts]

Elias: [Laughs softly as she says she can't stop kissing him. He sucks on her lower lip to tease her] You're beautiful, young, smart. You have a sweet optimism about you that I could get drunk on. [Murmurs as he cups her face, feeling weak for her] I feel like you are a part of me. [Says softly] You make me want to be hopeful. I wish I was your age. I would have liked to meet you earlier in my life. [Pulls her close to him] Never.

Emme: [Closes her legs together, writhing a bit as he sucks her lower lip and makes her moan] Daddy, don’t start. [Pouts before playfully biting his lower lip. She’s hypnotized by the sound of his voice, mindlessly playing with his hand while blushing at him] You do? [Parts her lips as she feels the exact same way about him] You can still be hopeful with me. [Whispers against his lips] Maybe fate has something in store for us and that’s why we didn’t meet until now. [Kisses his knuckles as she feels enamored with him] Promise, Daddy? [Turns around to face him as straddles him and drapes her arms over his shoulders]

Elias: [Wraps his arms around her as she straddles him] Hm.. Maybe you're right. [Cups her face and pulls her down to kiss him again. He takes out his phone and snaps more pictures of them, wanting to remember this day] Je promets. [Nods as he looks up at her]

Emme: [Plays with the ends of his hair as she cranes her neck to kiss his cheeks, his jaw, and the bridge of his nose—not caring about onlookers] I hope I am. [Purrs, smiling warmly against his lips before she feels his mouth on hers. Slipping her tongue between his lips, she kisses him deeply] Mmm. I love being yours. [Loves how he’s taking candid shots of them] Where to now, Daddy? [Sucks on his lobe, slowly grinding on him just to feel his heat against her] Greece? [Teases, although tempted to just sneak off with him]

Elias: [Closes his eyes as he's showered with her kisses, loving it so much] Mngh.. You are mine. [Grips her hips as she grinds on him] Don't.. [Groans as he bites his lip and looks up at her] I haven't been able to get this off for two years. [Frowns as he holds up his left hand showing his escort ring] They would find us.

Emme: All yours. [Eyes him heatedly as he has his possessive hands on her body. She smiles coyly as he says “don’t”, liking that she’s able to tease him] Don’t tell me “don’t”, Daddy.. I just want you. [Licks his lips before gazing at his hand] Do you like this finger? [Has an innocent look in her eyes with a mischievous smile on her lips, wanting to amuse him] It won’t be on you forever, Daddy. I know it. [Kisses his ring] And when it’s off, and you still want me, we can run away together. [Looks at him with a dreamy gaze]

Elias: [Growls as she's feisty with him, liking it] Hm? [Cocks a brow] Are you crazy? [Laughs] You want me to be missing a finger? [Tickles her sides as she teases him] You are cute. [Murmurs but he doesn't answer because he really thinks he's going to die being an escort] I like your fantasies. [Cups her face] I like you.

Emme: Quoi? It’s just one finger.. you’ll have nine left. [Teases him more before giggling as he tickles her. She squirms beneath his touch, trying to resist] Daddy! [Tries to catch her breath as she playfully bites his cheek] I suppose you do need it. I love being fingered by you. [Grins as she can see a life with him] They’re going to come true. Trust me. [Purrs as she stares at his handsome face] I adore you, Monsieur DuBois. [Gives an Eskimo kiss before resting her forehead against his]

Elias: And if we get married what would you have me put my ring on? [Scoffs as he teases her. He bites his lip] You’re naughty. [Wrinkles his nose] I adore you too, Emme. [Kisses her nose. He picks up a dessert and feeds her] How is it?

Emme: [Parts her lips as he mentions marriage, the thought instantly makes her heart race. She bites her lower lip and tries not to think too much of it] Mm. We’ll use your other finger. [Reaches down and pats his member as she grins at him] Dis le encore, Daddy. [Melts as he returns the affection, clearly enamored with him. Seeing the dessert, she has her eyes on his as she takes a bite] Mon dieu.. It’s heavenly. [Gushes as gets some cream on her lips, wiping it off and smearing it on his lower lip] I like it more on you. [Leans in and sucks it from his mouth before grabbing a piece for him]

Elias: Mm, baby. [Groans as she sucks the cream from his lips] Ah. [Takes a bite of the dessert] Delicious. [Smiles as he feels absolutely blissful]

Emme: [Takes her phone and records him as he eats, loving the way his mouth looks] Mon dieu. I am too addicted to you, Daddy. [Cups his face with both hands before kissing him on the lips again and again]

Elias: [Eyes her camera as he finishes the treat, he lets her hold his face and kisses her back, letting her taste the sweetness from him]

Emme: [Has deep feelings for him but doesn’t let her say it out loud, fearing that it’ll push him away. She sucks and tugs on his lower lip, gripping his hair while grinding against him] Is a part of you mine too? [Whispers as she buries her face against his neck, sucking on his flesh to leave a little mark]

Elias: Of course. [Moans as she leaves a mark on his neck, liking the sensation] You’re being naughty. [Wraps his arms around her] Where do you want to go next, mon Chatonne? [Kisses her jaw and neck]

Emme: [Kisses the mark she leaves on his neck before smiling deviously] Is that a bad thing, Daddy? [Playfully bites his neck before moaning as he shows attention] To the car so we can fuck. [Chest rises and falls as she speaks her filthy words] Or we can walk around the Louvre?

Elias: [His cock throbs as he hears her words] You’re fucking filthy, little girl. [Takes her to the car, putting up the roof before he pulls her inside with him so she can straddle him] You’re only this filthy for me, hm?

Emme: [Bites her lip as he matches the need that she has for him. Following him to the car, she feels almost impatient before he finally takes her in with him] Oui, Daddy. No one makes me a little slut like you do. [Licks his lips before pulling back as she rubs on the drawstring of her dress, revealing her soft breasts to him] Put your hands on me, Daddy. [Grinds her hips against him, moving sensually as she creates friction]

Elias: [Bites his lip as she tells him what he wants to hear. He groans as she grinds on his cock, feeling so desperate for her] Baby.. [Grips her breasts and kisses and sucks on them hungrily] This is my little whore body. [Leaves marks all over her tanned flesh] I want to be inside you, baby. [Undoes his belt and pushes down his pants to free his cock. His hands move her panties to the side and rub her wet little pussy] Mm.. I love that little girl pussy. [Slaps his thick head against her cunt]

Emme: [Pulls his hair and arches her lower back, pressing herself against his mouth as he devours her full breasts] Mmngh.. S’il vous plaît, Daddy.. fuck your little whore body. [Watches as he reveals his hard, perfect cock to her, making her mouth water for him. She shakes as he teases her pussy, making her clit throb harshly] My little girl pussy loves you too, Daddy. [Bites her lower lip as she feels his head against her cunt. Reaching down she slides her pussy lips against his girth] But what about my tight little ass, Daddy? Do you love that too? [Lifts her hips to guide his tip into her pussy, not moving all the way down. Once she gets his throbbing head coated in her juices she quickly brings his cock to her tight asshole, lowering herself as he tears into her and catches him by surprise] Unghh.. I want to be a filthy whore right now, Daddy.. I need to feel it in me like this. [Slowly adjusts to him, only taking in the tip as she bounces up and down, moaning roughly for him]

Elias: [Groans as his cock fills her up, spitting on her again as she asks for it. His fingers move to her clit, teasing her as he fucks her ass] God.. you’re going to make me cum too soon. [Growls as he pinches her little clit to tease her] You want my cum deep in your little asshole, Emme?

Emme: Merde! Daddy, don’t! [Grips his wrist as he stimulates her aching clit. She lowers herself all the way down his cock as she grinds into his hand while her walls grip his length] Oui, Daddy! Use me like a little cum whore. I want to feel it in my ass. [Bounces her thick mounds on him and maintains eye contact, aching desperately as she squirts on his cock] Ughhh! [Whimpers, gripping him against her as she doesn’t stop her movements]

Elias: [Loves when she squirts for him, watching her face as she continues to bounce on him] Mngh.. [Busts inside of her, but keeps making her milk his dick with her tight ass] Fuck, baby. [Moans as he wraps his arms around her] You make me feel so good.

Emme: [Her body writhes as he overwhelms her with pleasure. Shaking her hips, she smiles lustfully as he fills her with his cum] Daddy, I’m your cum slut.. [Features contort as she feels more of his cum spilling inside of her] Mmngh.. [Gasps as she feels spent and dated at once. Feeling whole as he remains inside of her, she kisses him all over his face] I adore you, Daddy.. Mon dieu.. I just want to be yours.

Elias: [Melts as she covers his face with kisses] mm.. you are mine. [Gently lifts her from him, taking his handkerchief and cleaning her up a bit] I’ve missed you, Emme. [Kisses her as she remains atop him] You’re going to be sore tonight..

Emme: Ooh. [Whines as pulls her off of him, biting her lip to stop from moaning as he cleans her] Merci beaucoup, Daddy. [Kisses his forehead] Did you? [Blushes, wondering if he did even when he was with the other woman] I miss you all the time. [Gazes deeply before pouting] Oui, I know.. I’m already so sore now. But I was so horny. [Kisses her fingers and sends the affection to his cock before fixing his boxers and pants] You made me squirt. Forgive me for the mess?

Elias: I did. [Nods as he rubs her back] I like it when you squirt. [Bites his lip] You are forgiven. [Has a feigned smug expression on his features]

Emme: [Knows the devilish expression on his face, making her roll her eyes as she tries not to blush] You always make me squirt. [Pouts] It’s a good thing I’m not a different kind of escort otherwise I would be too sore to perform.

Elias: [Laughs as he hears her] it is a good thing. [licks his lips] Because you’re only mine. [Cups her face]

Emme: [Nods as she finds him irresistible, leaning in to kiss him deeply] Oui, and you’re mine too. [Speaks in a possible tone, showing a different side as she knows that he really does care]

Elias: [Sucks on her sweet little tongue as he kisses her back] Oui. [Nuzzles her neck] I have somewhere I want to take you. [Sits her beside him as he starts the car back up and drives them to Bercy Village] Sometimes I get tired of the high end shops and expensive art at La Boîte.. I like coming here to feel normal. [Takes her out as they walk along the little shops] It’s like you and I just met on the street and we’re on a normal date. [Laughs as he takes her hand]

Emme: Mmm. Where? [Settles back in her seat but leans over and rests her cheek on his bicep as he drives. She’s surprised as he takes her to a simpler side, making her adore him even more] Can you believe that I’ve never been here before? [Looks excited as they step out of the car, keeping close to him] It does feel that way, Daddy. [Smiles amusedly as she kisses his hand. She sees a shoppe that sells handmade jewelry, getting an idea] I want to get you something too. Wait here. [Gives him a quick kiss on the lips before heading inside. She looks around before spotting a gold coin necklace. With her extra cash, she purchases it] For you. [Hands the little box to him] Maman used to say that it’s good luck. [Bites her lip shyly] Do you like it?

Elias: I’m surprised. It’s become a popular spot. [Murmurs as he walks with her] Huh? Ou tu vas? [Pouts as he waits outside, wondering what she’s up to. He’s surprised as he sees the box. He opens it and smiles] This is mine? [Feels a certain delight as he is used to receiving gifts but this is the first from Emme. He takes it out of the box and puts it on] Je aime beaucoup. [Smiles as it rests against his tanned flesh between his unbuttoned shirt]

Emme: Oui. [Watches as he opens up the box before beaming at his reaction] C’est parfait, Daddy! [Finds him sexy with his long hair, shirt, and necklace on—wondering if he knows the meaning of the coin] You look too good. [Growls lowly as she moves into his arms, taking a close up picture of him] You’re so special to me. [Kisses the pendent before meeting his eyes]

Elias: [Laughs before he kisses her forehead in her picture, the necklace visible but you can see his stubbled jaw and long hair in his profile] As you are to me. [Murmurs] Let’s shop. Monsieur Berger gave me extra spending money. [Smirks]

Emme: [Adores the sexy smirk on his lips as it makes her feel heated inside] I love these shirts on you, Daddy. [Rubs his chest as they walk] Get more of them so I can steal this one. [Grins as she points out a clothing store to him] Daddy, do you ever get weird clients? [Laughs softly, feeling curious] Like ones with crazy fetishes?

Elias: [Takes her into the clothing store and chuckles] Oui. Lots of fetishes. [Chews on the inside of his cheek as he browses] Why do you ask? Are you thinking about switching?

Emme: [Giggles softly as his laughter is infectious. She looks over some clothes, plucking a few that she thinks would match him] Hmm sometimes I do. But I don’t think I would be able to follow through with it. [Suddenly thinks of August and how he really wants her] I belong to you, anyway.

[brooklynislandgirl]

@mynameisanakin​ {{xx}}

To say time was immutable was the worst kind of fallacy. It can be stretched or dilated. It can be shrunk. Filled to the very possible edges or shut up and forgotten. It was subject to individual perception which then was galvanised by a cohesive agreement to believe in the same fractured set of moments corresponding to external reality. At least that was what her Master had explained to her once. She wasn’t sure she understood what he meant then, nor is she sure she has a grasp on it now. Or if both were the same and she just chooses to see it differently. What she is absolutely certain of is limited to a minor handful of things. The first being that hours ago the Temple had come under attack. Which meant that somehow, somewhere, something had gone catastrophically wrong. It’s the sound of screaming and pounding feet that first alert her. So of course instinct takes over. She ushers her charges ~younglings that are injured, sick, and otherwise impaired~ to the safest place she can think of.

Thrulan knows even the forgotten places, pathways that most Jedi are unaware even exist. There aren’t so many. Only three. She gives him medicine for them. All of the credits she can scrounge so they aren’t a burden on his small family. The only other thing she knows with absolute certainty is that Anakin is still alive. The agony he was in was significant. Had nearly buckled her to her knees and she wasn’t sure if he felt her reaching out to him. Offering what strength she could that he might take it, enfold it around himself, to protect him until she can find him. Likely wishful thinking, but she wanted to believe it so much that she simply accepted that as a truth. Especially when she can’t feel him reaching back. That there’s distortion thick and heavy between them.

She can only fear the worst; that Anakin is here, and she knows he is. That he is trapped in some corner unable to free himself. That he is hurt. That he is...no. Twisted and cloaked as his brilliant presence in the Force has become, it isn’t waning. She won’t let that be the truth. She won’t let him go so easily.

That becomes a third thing. The halls as she moves are too quiet in places. Too loud in others. The great library is empty. There’s so very little to find there. Even the Temple Guards are not at their posts, and of course, why should they be? They were under an attack, there was better places for them to be. Her sabre flashes as she makes her way ever closer to Anakin. Though she’s brought up short when she sees who the invaders really are. As if she wouldn’t know the legion by sight. These men, never just clones, who have been under his command, whose wounds she’s mended, whose grief she tried to ease, whose deaths and sacrifices she’s recorded painstakingly for the archives so that they might be remembered beyond purpose, beyond what they had been created for. Only to be betrayed. Why would they have turned on Ana-

No. Not...turned. Parrying blaster fire as best she can, she senses....a link. They...They... Two clones go down and she tries to press forward, stopped in her tracks seconds later by a third trooper she hadn’t seen in the shadows. His rifle is aimed at her, held level. But he hesitates. Brows knit above her eyes, sweat damp strands of hair threatening to slip into her vision as she tilts her head. “....Biscuit?” Against all hope, the trooper removes his helmet, confirming that this was in fact the one she thought him to be. The one who still had an both legs thanks to her. “My Lady. I am so sorry. I don’t want to do this.” Not General. Not Master or even Knight Ivers. Not Melakeni. But...lady. She swallows past the rapidly constricting lump in her throat.  “Wha... what is happening, here?”

The trooper looks sick, green under his tawny skin in a way that is both natural and unnatural to her and the more he speaks, the more his face hardens into a mask of duty and remorse.

He doesn’t attempt to kill her when she staggers back under the weight of this new knowledge, one palm splayed against the smooth metal wall to catch herself mid-collapse. Her mind reels. Her sabre thumps dully against the floor as that hand comes up to her chest.

She takes hold of the Force and wraps it around her like an impenetrable wall that nothing can escape from or press advantage into as her heart breaks. The faces of her friends sweep through her memory alive and full of life. They are gone. As are the Masters she has spent the last decade serving. 

Remember these lessons well, little padawan, for suffering is a crucible of strength. Her Master’s voice comes to her unbidden and she knows he still lives as well. Where she cannot quite tell. But the voice, a silken thunder of a whisper in her ear, is not wholly wrong. She knows as terrible as the Dark Side must be, that the Jedi had long ago become corrupt. They slaved under the will of the people, currying favour and gathering quiet power until they no longer resembled what they once purported to be; servants of the Force.

And the Force is a living and breathing thing. A river that flows through everything from the most infinitesimal speck of stardust to the edges of the galaxy and perhaps even beyond, to places unknowable beyond the imagination of even the greatest enlightened minds. Its intention was not to steal and enslave infants. Its will was not to be ruled by fear of upsetting those in power in exchange for some small semblance of a voice in galactic matters. The Jedi Order, she can see more clearly now than ever before, was nothing more than rotting fruit on the Force’s branches, dragging it down with the weight of its corruption.  And as surely as the tears flowed freely down her face for what she knows has been lost because of it, for the innocence and sweetness and life that was now nothing more than a guttered candle, she understands that the will of the Force was for Anakin to... to wipe clean the slate. To destroy every last vestige of what was, in order for what could be to come about. The restoration of balance, to restore the Force itself and not what sentients had made of it.

She recalls a poem she had read in the archives, only a fraction of it as she let go of her anger. Her confusion. As she gave herself as always, to the Force and its will.

Even as it is for your growth, so it is for your pruning. Even as it ascends to your height and caresses your tenderest branches that quiver in the sun, So shall it descend to your roots and shake them in their clinging to the earth.

Biscuit retrieves her lightsabre without a word of protest from her. She can hear the sigh as she looks up into his face. Despite this directive of his, there is some kindness left in the clone. “I’ll make it quick, Lady. Painless.” “A moment more, please?” He nods. She straightens up as sharply as her spine will allow, and levels her chin. She passes a hand over her face to wipe away any traces of emotion that lingered damply on her cheeks and tried, ridiculously, to straighten her hair. Doing so, she conceals clever little gestures with her fingers. “You should take me to him. He will want to do this himself.” “I...I should take you to him. He will want to do this himself.” She takes a step forward, relieves him of her sabre, and wraps a delicate hand around the white and blue armour. Her steps to the grand hall are silent compared to his own and they do not speak during the trek. She looks neither left nor right. Doesn’t look at the bodies strewn where they fell. Does not acknowledge the char and pockmarks that scattered across the walls from blaster fire. The fire and smouldering ash does not make her tremble though she fears that only second to what they will find. The smoke doesn’t bother her at all. In fact she forgets to make herself breathe in those achingly long moments. The Temple all around her that was once home is now a tomb.

Biscuit leaves her there in the centre of the hall. Takes a stance somewhere out of her periphery and she wonders later how badly he will be punished for allowing her to cloud his mind. For allowing her to come into the presence of his Lord armed and utterly capable of cutting him down if she were fast enough, clever enough.

And what does she find? Significantly more than she had hoped but disturbingly less than what she feared. He looks like a ghost haunting himself. Blurred and fractured at the edges, worn so thin she can practically see Coruscant beyond the doors behind him. Awash with old blood and new, and light that could be either from the dying of the day. His eyes are so hollow. His face drawn and remote and before he even acknowledges that she is there, she can feel him crawling over a threshold of breaking. This is not a man proud of what he has done, not a man who will ever sleep again knowing he has done the right thing, even if that is exactly what Anakin has done. Frangible arms wend around her in his terrible silence. Her eyes close as he brushes his mouth against the crown of her hair and breathes her deeply as if for the first time he can. Breathe. Take air deep into his lungs and scour his psyche with her presence. A hand comes up to his chest where his heart beats strong but erratic. And then? It isn’t a question. Nor is it a command. It isn’t even a choice because choice implied she had a say. No senator, no chancellor, no master, no living being loves Anakin the way she does. Nor had they in all the years before except for maybe his mother. And in an entirely different way. No. It isn’t a choice. And no one would ever have been foolish enough to believe that it was. She untangles herself from Anakin. Braces one foot behind her, shifts her centre of gravity. With preternatural reflexes, she reaches for and takes hold of her sabre. Thumbs the near flat depression on the hilt and allows the purple blade to ignite in the gathering gloom around them. Sees its glow flash in glossiness of his eyes.

Her other hand comes up. There’s a little flip and suddenly the blade is laid across both hands, and she curtsies before him, deep and tired and inscrutable. She does not have a heart, but if she did, it would be bleeding for her little sun, for her Anakin. “In all things, in all ways, I am yours to command, my Lord.” Loud enough to be heard by the gathered clones. Then quietly, more intimately, meant for his ears alone... “That is maybe the stupidest thing you have ever asked of me, Ani. The answer is always yes.”

[marauder--harder]

Let Her Go- A Sirius Black Imagine

A/N: Hey y’all! Long time, no talk to! I’m really sorry about how MIA I’ve been lately but I honestly haven’t had the inspiration to write anymore. This story is something that has been sitting in my drafts for a while, and I never was quite happy with it. There are some plot errors in correlation to the timeline of the books but I decided fuck it because maybe finishing this and posting it would help me get back on track. So yes, I know that it wouldn’t be plausible for Sirius to be in Godric’s Hollow at this time (or at least him heading back) but I liked this idea. This fic lines up with the song “Let Her Go” by Passenger. Hope you like it. Enjoy!

Sirius felt the cold snow seep into his trousers, his knees quickly burning against the soaked cloth—the only barrier between his legs and the frozen ground. His eyes were trained to the floor, staring at the muddied gray snow piled around a slab of stone. Words etched into it now show white, filled with years of leaves and dirt, only to be topped off with a fresh coat of frozen water.

Sirius had to dig his way to see the words; his raw and reddening hands both, somehow, burning from the cold and completely numb. He didn’t feel the way they shook against the freezing stone, nor the way his cheeks burned against the warm tears sliding down them. All he felt was the dizzying feeling as his eyes blurred out of focus, leaving only a swimming of the white, browns and grays in front of him.

“You shouldn’t be here,” the voice was soft, yet firm in its convictions. He knew that Sirius was hurting, but it didn’t excuse him for being there.

Sirius didn’t have to lift his head to know that it was Remus, standing far enough in the shadows to not be seen. He was always so careful and meticulous—a reason that Sirius had once thought could have been evidence of being the leak. Remus was at just a far enough distance where it wasn’t obvious, that he would not be suspected of any connection if something were to happen. Years of being a werewolf made it easy for him to lie in the shadows, knowing how to adapt and survive—another reason Sirius had once suspected him of betrayal.

How foolish he had been.

“People can see—you’re out in the open for Merlin’s—” Remus murmur grew sharper, more scolding. It was as if Sirius was back in Hogwarts, on the receiving end of his punishment for another prank. How he longed to go back now; even if just to tell himself to hold onto those moments tighter. To remember them better, not waste every moment like he had in thinking that the world lay at his feet.

“I know.” Sirius’ own voice was nothing but a hoarse whisper in the deafening silence surrounding them. “I couldn’t just not—after all this time I had to—” The words cracked against his throat, leaving him raw and sore. He knew that he shouldn’t be there, in a place so obvious if anyone had wanted to look. Yet, after twelve years away he had to see them. Had to see for himself where they were; remind himself that what happened was real and just where he had let everyone go.

The dizzying swimming of colors ceased for a moment after he blinked once, then twice. Tears that he didn’t realize had trailed down his cheeks grew behind his eyes again. He relished in the burning sting as he kept them at bay. He had told himself nearly eleven years ago that he wasn’t going to waste any more energy crying over the life he had been served and this was not going to be a time he broke that to wallow in his own pity.

Glancing to his right, he slid his body closer to the matching grave, wiping at the snow covered tombstone just as he had before. He watched as the dull gray of the stone slowly revealed her name, beautiful and pure as she was, like magic. His fingers danced over the engravement, through the contours of her name reverently. His hands were nearly purple now, bare and positively aching down to the bone.

“I’m sorry, Evans,” he mouthed, the nickname still not lost on his tongue, even years after their marriage. Even years after their deaths.

Sobs, too broken to make any noise, wracked through his frame violently until he was leaning forward, curling in on himself as he cried. He didn’t want to cry and he actually wasn’t, not really. Only a few tears were shed as he shook, leaving him feeling hollow and just as empty as he felt when he first found them—their bodies, his mind had corrected—that night on Halloween.

“Sirius,” Remus prodded, closer now. The warmth of his voice made Sirius’ soul crack further just by the unfamiliarity of the feeling.

Looking up into his friend’s eyes, he saw the pain there, too. Remus, even if for many years did Sirius think was the lucky one in this scenario, was hurting just as much as he was. Staring for a few moments longer, he searched his face only to find hesitation dancing across his features.

His mind racing at the thought of the anger and yelling that was to come, Sirius flinched involuntarily. He prepared his body, without realizing, for the feeling of desperation and aching loneliness. Years upon years of being nothing but a delicious game for dementors left him expecting the worst when he was in trouble. The sobs that had him trembling like a small boy had long stopped, fearing that his crying over the friends he had lost would only upset Remus further. Who was he to be crying over them anyway? It was his fault that they had died.

Yet, Sirius’ long list for Remus’ expected anger had been interrupted by a hand slowly reaching out to stop in front of his face. Ignoring Sirius’ flinch, Remus simply sniffed and offered a sad grimace, “Pads, there’s something you need to see.”

On shaky feet Sirius allowed himself to be hauled up by Remus and followed him, wondering what could have been so important that he would risk being seen with one of the most wanted fugitives of the wizarding world. Sirius also noted the way Remus was guiding him, gentle and hovering as if he was waiting for his legs to give out.

A bitter scoff left his throat, but even it sounded weak. He must have really looked like shit.

As the two friends walked a few more meters, towards an old tree that would hide them from view, Sirius felt the pit deep in his stomach grow. He couldn’t think of many that Remus would need him to see, his mind already so tired of hearing about the people he had lost. Yet, Sirius’ whole body seemed to tense as he realized who that was six feet below him. Remus’ hand collided with his back when Sirius stopped dead in his tracks, unwilling to move another muscle.

“No,” he said, his voice louder than it had been in a long while.

“It was a few years after you had been in Azkaban and—”

“No,” he cut him off, head dizzy and eyes swimming with more unshed tears. “Moony, no.”

“Okay,” he relented, just for a few moments before Sirius felt the warmth of Remus’ hand leave him. “Just—”

Sirius heard Remus sigh and then walk closer towards the tree, before bending down and making a short wiping motion with his glove covered hand. It was the same motion Sirius had made at the headstones of James and Lily. He wouldn’t let it be the same motion for you.

Closing his eyes for a moment, he squeezed his hand into a fist at his side. For a few moments he felt nothing, until the low ache of his nails digging into his raw skin made its way to him. A cold wind swept by him and Sirius briefly noted how much he would rather have had the wind blow him away, back to Azkaban.

His feet moved on their own accord, knowing that his own mind would neither command them to move closer nor have the strength to do so. Slowly, the name Remus had been staring down at made its way into his line of focus and Sirius felt his whole world fall around him.

Sinking to the floor again, this time involuntarily, he wailed. It was a noise that made Remus’ heart shatter, sounding more like a wounded animal than any human noise he had ever heard. Sirius felt his empty stomach roll and heave against the cold, dead air. The bitter bile he tasted in his mouth made no show of itself yet he couldn’t stop his stomach from trying to contract over and over again.

He had remembered the only other time he had felt this hopeless, this lost. There were only two moments in his life: when he found his brother and his wife dead and the first night he spent in Azkaban. The way everything surrounding him was seemingly circling overhead, waiting to come crashing down, made the fear and panic set in.

You were gone and he hadn’t even known.

As the sun began to rise over the houses, Remus remembered just where they were. Even if partially hidden by the tree, it was only a matter of time before the rest of Godric’s Hollow woke. They couldn’t risk being seen. “Sirius, we need to go.”

The words fell on deaf ears as Sirius continued to rock himself ever so slightly, trying to remember the way you felt in his arms. He had known that he had lost you when he went to Azkaban, but he didn’t realize how little he ever had of you to begin with.

Your timing was always messed up, you’d said, smiling sadly at him. Things had happened in the world around you that neither had control over and things just hadn’t aligned properly. Sirius had spent years pining over you, trying desperately to ignore messing up the one good thing in his life. He, at the time, had not known that you were just as desperately pining away after him. Yet, once it had finally come out in the open, you both were in the midst of a raging war. There was no time for love or romance, not to him.

He had seen first hand the worry and stress love had put both James and Lily through and he couldn’t stand the thought of you caught up over him. Whether he liked it or not, ever since the birth of Harry, James was compromised in the field. He had been sent into hiding for Merlin’s sake! Naively, Sirius had thought, that James, while being smart to protect his family, was foolish to let himself love in a time like that.

No matter how hard you tried to fight for him, Sirius had told you no. That once this was all over and you were safe, he would allow himself to be with you. Because if you would still be gracious enough to have him, he would need to have you without being terrified that something would happen.

With a smile and a chaste kiss—the only one the two of you had ever shared—you told him that if it was what he truly needed, then you would wait. You would wait through the worried, paranoia filled nights and the long, gruesome battles. Because you had said that he was worth it.

“She—” he sobbed, remembering the soft lilt of your voice clearly for the first time since he had left you. “Did she believe that I—that James—”

“No,” Remus cut him off, throat catching as he tried to sound convincing. “She believed in you, Pads. Always had.”

Another wounded sound tore from Sirius’ anguished heap of a bony form and he slowly reached out to have his fingers dance along your name, just as he did with Lily’s. “Y-You’re not just saying that, yeah? She really thought I was innocent?”

Taking in a deep breath, Remus bit his lip and tucked away his own guilt that was gnawing at him sharply. “Yeah,” he chuckled slightly, rocking back on his heels, “caused a bit of a rift, actually. She was just so sure she knew.” There were a few more moments of silence, Sirius’ sobs have quieted again and Remus’ own tears had started flowing silently. “She had tried to get you a trial. Jumped through every hoop imaginable with the Ministry, but she—she never gave up. ‘Said that you wouldn’t give up on her, that waiting wasn’t good enough this time.

“She was trying to figure out who else could have done it, looking into every Death Eater she could. A-And that’s when they got the drop on us… I tried to help but—Sirius, I’m so sorry but we can’t be out here.”

“Go, Remus.”

There was a few moments of silence before Sirius felt the comforting squeeze of his hand on his shoulder. The presence was comforting and calm and just as he got used to the feeling, it disappeared. By the time Sirius had gained the strength to sit up and turn around, he heard the loud crack of apparition and saw nothing standing behind him.

He was alone again.

It was many nights later when Sirius had finally made his way back to the cave he had come to call ‘makeshift home.’ Finally, he let himself fully mourn the loss of you. Staring into the bottom of a bottle of cheap scotch—he had bummed it off of some muggle store; something to add to the list of ‘things he wasn’t proud of’—Sirius had realized that everyone he touched dies.

“Reg, James, Lily, Y/N…” he trailed off, lolling his head to the other side to stare at a sleeping Buckbeak. “I killed them all.” He paused for a moment, feeling his eyes blur with more unshed tears. “I’m a right fool, Beaky ol’ pal. I never told her I loved ‘er.”

Buckbeak simply shifted in his sleep, curling into himself further to shield himself from the rain now pouring outside. Sirius sobbed again, thinking to himself how pathetic it must be for him to be crying in the middle of the night, in a cave, while he was a hiding fugitive. If only you could have seen him now.

Closing his eyes, Sirius imagined the way you would have looked at him in both mild accusation and concern. You always were one to tell it to him straight, never sugar coating it to spare him. You preferred being honest, a quality that he always admired in you. Used to admire in you.

“Your honesty probably got you offed,” he mumbled, eyes still closed but speaking as if you were right there with him. In a way, maybe you were. You were in his mind and even if you were alive, this would still be all he had of you. “That and your smart mouth. You always did know just what to say to rile them up, love. ‘Get them right where you wanted them.”

Pushing roughly against the wall of the cave, Buckbeak woke with a start and tried to stand before Sirius was stumbling over to calm him. “Sorry, boy. Just can’t get her out’ta my head. You ever know what that’s like? A pretty bird,” he paused, snorting to himself at the slight joke before continuing, “ever catch your eye? Y’know how to love, Beaky?”

Buckbeak simply nudged him, tucking him under his giant wing. The action startled Sirius and the corner of his mouth turned upwards in a hint of a smile, splitting his cracked lip further. Sirius hadn’t felt that sort of comfort from anyone, human or creature, in so long that he didn’t know what to do with it.

“I really loved her, Buckbeak and I fucked it all up. Merlin knows how sorry I am; s’all my fault too.”

Staring up at the ceiling of the cave, Sirius’ mind went blank as his heart began to numb. The usual freezing shakes had not bothered him tonight as he carefully cuddled closer into the hippogriff; yet, he could not help the shiver that ran throughout his body at the thought of your cold, lifeless body six feet below him.

It just didn’t feel right; him being escaped from Azkaban, living a life—albeit a shit one—when you or James or Lily didn’t get to. You would never know how much he loved you, how much he had needed you. You would never be able to follow the dreams you had for after the war. You would never be able to sit and relax in his arms.

You would never be here, again.

As Sirius’ eyes slowly drifted closed, he hoped he’d have dreams of you. Because maybe he could have you in his sleep, never to touch and never to keep. Yet, it was as good as he would ever be able to reach, now that you were gone.

And maybe then he could tell you; maybe then he could have the life he so desperately wanted. Even if he didn’t deserve it.

Because he couldn’t let you go.

[adellytaloveshiddles]

I have been enjoying all the pictures coming from Ace comic con this weekend, seeing Tom looking so genuinely happy and as always beautiful, but then I read some of these posts and I feel so ashamed to be part of this fandom.

Let's first talk about the post and video that talks of why Tom left social media. This news wasn't exactly new, he has made comments like this in the past, his private life is separate, as it absolutely should be, and sadly because of how BOTH media and fans twist and distort things that are said (I'll speak more on this in a bit) the small glimpses he once allowed us to have now must be taken away. Now the OP on this post blames Taylor Swift, guys seriously we need to stop this. I will be the first to admit I have no love for the pop star, which was the case long before Tom, but by bringing up her name anytime something even seems wrong with Tom we are contributing to the problem. It was a 3 month relationship 2 years ago. A wonderful and amazing person threw himself headfirst into a romantic relationship and it didn't work out, and because of his job it was made public. Let's look at how rare and fantastic it was to be able to dive in rather than speculating foolishness or falsehood. Now the video that the OP shot and posted. She was breaking con rules by recording and the look on Tom's face when he realizes what she's doing its heartbreaking. He looks scared (for her), and so disappointed that someone would betray the trust this way.

Now on to some of the things I've been reading from "fans." Someone has began talking about how Tom is planning to retire. Where on earth did this come from? Tom has said time and time again that he loves what he does and feels very lucky to do it. I found one random article from a London source posted today supporting retirement but as hes been in Seattle for the last few days I dont put much stock in that one. Supposedly this was said to a fan at the con, what we know of Tom, this would be so far out of his character, he is so kind, gracious, and giving to his fans, I don't believe for one minute he would ever burden one with something so heavy. But, I dont know Tom and I could be very wrong, I just think that one side of the job has become less enjoyable due to media and fans twisting everything so he has "retired" from social media, not acting. I have also read that it's because Loki is dead... seriously Tom is not a one trick pony. Loki is fantastic and he does an incredible job with him but if you think that's all he can do please go watch The Night Manager, Only Lovers Left Alive, and for the love of God, please watch The Hollow Crown...

The panel... the lack of Q and A was twofold I believe. After the appalling behavior at the panel the day before they couldn't trust attendees to follow the rules and behave. Someone posted that upon speaking with the moderator it was Tom's publicist who made the call, and then again blamed it on the residual questions about his relationship with Taylor. 2 YEARS AGO!!! Now we have no way of knowing if that was true, though I am inclined to believe it is, and so many were getting upset with his publicist for overreacting. Well here's the deal, he would not have made that call if it wasn't what Tom had wanted. After Saturday's panel anything could have happened, he is so kind and eloquent, he didn't want to be put in that position. So due to the actions of the few who behave badly we were denied asking some of the burning questions we have for him. And hey maybe he is retiring and he didn't want to have to address that also.. but I dont really believe that

Here's the deal guys. We dont know this wonderful human being. We have lost the privilege of getting small glimpses into who he is as a person when we started making too many assumptions about his relationships or the way he lives his life. While I feel the media is equally to blame we cannot ignore what we, his fans who supposedly love and support him, have done. Stop diagnosing his "depression" (as someone who suffers from various mental illnesses, if you dont want the world to see something it's not impossible to hide and he is a tremendously talented actor, it would be even easier for him) what we are seeing is a subdued and careful Tom, someone who is aware that every action will be analyzed.

Lastly on Loki. Yes he absolutely confirmed Loki's death. We watched it, it happened, hes dead. Guys, put the puzzle pieces together. It has been stated that the next avengers will not follow a linear timeline. We have seen production stills of Loki in post battle of NY scars and armor with a present day Tony Stark. With the Time stone time travel is made possible and who knows what Captain Marvel will bring. Yes on the current timeline Loki, Gamora, and all those turned to dust are dead and gone. They are going to alter time... will he survive the next movie? no clue, but he is in it and will play a key part. Relax. Tom himself told us everything is fine :-)

Here's the conclusion to my long rant; Tom is a wonderful and vastly talented man who has been so incredibly good to us, his fans, and he deserves so much better from us. We need to be better to him or we very well may lose him.