#maybe it's sleep deprived me talking
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@the-stove-is-divorced I know I said I'm gonna read your newer fics, and I know I did my homework to read some of them (I've just found a way to watch LMK and I'm gonna do just that once I'm finished with Danny phantom)
But I need you to understand that I am a weak nostalgic simple frog who fell for the temptations of rereading your older fics for the hundredth time rather than start on any of the new ones that I know for a fact I would love and I'm sorry for that
#i can't help it#the ben ten one is too much fun#the steven universe ones are amazingly done#i especially adore the character study in your works#the mha one is sucking me deeper by the second#also btw on tumblr i usually call you stove in my mind#on ao3 it's wreck#sometimes blue too#anyway is it just me or can the word stove actually work as a name#maybe it's sleep deprived me talking#also im not over how your fics either start light and become so much darker and realistic#or start dark and become so much lighter#and how even in your darker fics there is still comedy#abd dod i mention how much i absolutely love your writing style?#cause i really really really do
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Dude what if Shinsou heard voices in his head from his quirk, just random voices saying whatever. But they freak him out really bad
#he just hears screaming#or someone saying something creepy#ooo amd to bring Aizawa into this#(maybe dadzawa)#he can earse his quirk and get a break from the voices#even tho they're a few minutes between usally#thats why Shinsho is sleep deprived#(part of it)#and maybe Aizawa helped him sleep one night#boku no hero academia#mha#my hero academia#bnha#hitoshi shinsou#j realized i spelt his name wrong lmao#mha shinsou#aizawa shouta#dadzawa#may or may not be because i just heard a little girl screaming and some guy talking to me while trying to go to sleep#this is why i camt go to sleep in silence
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big sketchbook art dump i suppose
"GIRL HELL 1999" – femtanyl with monika my dear <33
drawings featuring colin
drawings of tony n monika because theyre totally bffs i swear guys i sweaaarrr ......
the yellow one from the rock show
the two nerds from "Creative" – Ghost and Pals remix cuz i quite like them a bit i suppose
my awesome silly nr 1 kinnie that i love to draw when i feel like utter shit <333
#itz not very good . i meow#ive been struggling a lot the past days and i guess drawing physically has helped me out#not as much stress as opposed to digital drawing ; i can just doodle a character doing the same pose over n over again n call it a day#ive done more but honestly im proud only of these particularly#i love drawing tony n monika hanging out because they seriously are the only little guys i still cling onto#we have a rich history together i swear#i like how piko came out also ; maybe hes not as stupid as i thought ahaha ....#i already loved rana sm so there's nothing more i can say about her – she's perfect as she is#and i hope you can see that sayori's eyes are lifeless and decaying because shez just like me frfr#art dump#doodle dump#dhmis#dhmis art#dhmis colin#colin the computer#dhmis tony#tony the talking clock#ddlc#ddlc monika#ddlc sayori#bocchi the rock!#nijika ijichi#can we ignore the fact my sleep deprived ass misspelled her name ?#please ?#ghost and pals#ghost and pals fanart#utatane piko#piko vocaloid#rana vocaloid#that is all .. bye-bye ...........
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a poolverine fic when each chapter is inspired by a song of Hozier that's it, that's the post
(setlist needs to have Work Song/Like Real People Do/Francesca/Would That I just because i decided it)
#deadpool and wolverine#poolverine#deadclaws#wolverine#deadpool#deadpool 3#logan howlett#wade wilson#poolverine fic#deadpool and wolverine fic#fic ideas#poolverine x hozier is so important to me#like im not kidding it's so perfect#“honey just put your sweet lips on my lips” THAT'S WADE TALKING TO LOGAN#LIKE COME OOOOOON do you see the vision???#maybe im a bit sleep deprived#but yeah here i give you this
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Appalachia has bested me so I gave up on backpacking and booked a last minute room at a government run resort and had dinner at the resort bar (which I will reiterate, is run by the state of Kentucky) and ended up doing shots of bourbon with two middle aged women from a nearby holler who work at the local prison. All of this while in my pajamas.
#maybe this is the bourbon talking#maybe this is the 4 sleep deprived nights camping during thunderstorms#but. wtf.#you know there’s so much life to be lived in the world#this is the most comfortable bed I’ve ever been in#it’s objectively mid but it’s so wonderful to me#has anyone considered the wonders of the world lately? has anyone marveled at how incredible the world is?#this morning I hiked along a cliff to a cave with an abandoned moonshine distillery#and saw rock arches that span over some of the oldest rivers in the world#I’m having a great time :)#ONLY TO LOG BACK INTO TUMBLR DOT COM AND SEE SOMEONE ARGUING WITH MY PEETA POST#I’m objectively correct I actually ran into peeta I’m West Virginia and he told me himself btw
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I literally want you but you never pay attention to me
well rn you're on anon so idk who u are.. also im sorry that im not paying attention to u everything is too jumbled and cloudy and im not capable of making out what is infront of me or around me. i just dont know. im sorry.
#also its just hard for me to comprehend anyone wanting me#also maybe thats a littlw bc my brain works dofferently and i need a deep emotional connection to strongly want someone#differently* im not wearing glasses#like dont we have to talk? get to know eo? how else can we know eo well enough to know eo#well enough to want eo** ugh i cant type when im sleep deprived#and what does it mean that im not paying attention to u? are u messagin me or talking to me like idk :(((#anyway im sry i actually dont mean to ignore u i just dont know#like we need a talking stage and becoming friends and then know that we want eo#and if i sound too needy for u then yeah.. idk :((#what i mean is that as far as i know im like only even talking regularly to 2 ppl#and there needs to be a built rapport and mutual connection and like conversation for me to even feel something#so im just a bit confused.. do u want me.. actually get to know me and know eo#or do u just want me to be a certain way and fot a certain image? im confused#fit*... i need glasses
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outsider pov was severely underutilized in spn like it's actually criminal the more you think abt it
#we get a few outside pov episodes but babes that's like giving a man two drops of water in a desert#you could probably say smth abt the correlation btwn spn's slow separation from gothic horror into a more sanitized version of itself#with their decision not to lean into their own protagonists weirdness and weirdness abt each other#via depicting them as firmly offputting when viewed at through an outside lens#ouroborous thy name is sam and dean winchester#not sure if i articulated this quite how i wanted but yeah#feel like they kinda talk abt it in the later seasons but the tone fluctuates instead of staying consistently disturbing with it#but maybe that's just the gothic horror girlie in me wanting more from a show that at the end of the day still had to air on cw#smth smth post-apocalypse samdean as frankenstein's monster#sam's s8 relationship w amelia paralleled with the creature's desire for a perfect mate in the absence of his actual true partner#aka dean who was stuck in purgatory and adding a new layer to sam's desire for intimacy#amelia as the theoretical perfect wife who's never realized bc the creature's other half returns#does this make sense idk anymore i need to nap#nothing to see here just my sleep-deprived ramblings into the aether#spn#supernatural#sam winchester#dean winchester#samdean#gencest#weirdcest#wincest#spn rewatch
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personally, i think if some sort of apocalypse happened, we wouldn't immediately collapse and get set back hundreds of years wrt technology, infrastructure, etc. it's not like every engineer, doctor, construction workers, etc. are going to also be wiped out. and even under the constant pressure and threat of capitalism, people go into these careers wanting to do good. (depending on how the apocalypse is started/how it happens) there would probably be a few rough years at first but people are really good at getting their shit together
#also idk. this might be putting too much faith in people. maybe we'll just create fallout irl#if this all sounds like nonsense i got 3 hours of sleep and im running solely on adderall and coffee (:#new argument for keeping physical media: knowledge being preserved if the internet and most computers get destroyed#and yeah there would be several attempts to rebuild capitalism but look at how at the beginning of the pandemic people got a slight taste o#freedom and realized what they were being deprived of. like i watched a lot of people i know get 'radicalized' in real time#unfortunately only one i know took an interest in communism while the others are just radlibs :/#and also knowing physical skills like sewing. gardening. basic chemistry. food preservation. and hunting would help#ive thought a lot about this because the adults in my family constantly talk about what theyd do in the apocalypse#the real answer is dying of cholera or dysentery if they insist on the individualistic isolationist route#also this is not me thinking that once the weight of capitalism lifts everyone will automatically be cool with each other and build a utopi#my main point is that i dont think we'll lose Everything#these tags are so long im so sorry
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eating a big ass pickle over the sink like a rabid dog past midnight makes it taste better
#crunchin and slurpin and juicin alone in the kitchen#moaning a little maybe#am i alone here#if so well then if nobody got me at least this pickle got me#resumes obnoxious slurping#sorry pickle haters for this semi graphic description#venus talks#i’m on smth tonight i’m cackling to myself in my bedroom at everything#it’s probably the sleep deprivation
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sheepatron
#expect d-16 sheep soon#my kinsona /hj#ACTUALLY. i dont usually talk about my other hearted ids (aside from. well. sheep)#but oughhfhdbsjd d-16 you were so me during your first arc. before murder ofc#ouhshandm.. ouhf.. something special about d-16 that makes me go “shes so me. sometimes we get too violent. we cant control emotions well#too blinding by betrayal#goddd#if the design slaps ill make it another fursona#i could explain it better. when sleep deprived maybe and my filters disappear#OK ANYWAYS WHY DO I RAMBLE HERE. GOODBYE#txt
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its hard to imagine bill as a top in like a general sense. like there r certain situations where i think he could be (like him possessing ford for example but even that depends on what the context of the scene is) but like, him as is? all the time? i cant. bottom at a minimum, switch at a maximum and even this is pushing it 😭😭😭
#dan yapping#idk he gives me pillow princess bratty bottom vibes#my friend and i talked about this otw home yesterday and we both agreed bill is a brat#hed be a terrible top lets be honest here#also im sleep deprived im barely making sense even to myself but srsly all i see everytime that mf pops up on screen is a bottom LMAOOOO#maybe the overwhelming urge to shut him up and humiliate him made me biased in this#but i RLLY need him to shut up#if it means i need to write him getting fucked within an inch of his triangular life then sure??#i have no idea how to write top bill tho HAHAHAHAHAHAHHA
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When I'm in a tiny sized pizza making competition and my opponent is Deeva wielding this
#I'm so sorry Deeva but that one facial massager voice line is funny to me-#like.... it's not just that she genuinely didn't know what that was#it also tells a lot about her poor cooking skills 😭#maybe I should let my sleep-deprived self in charge of writing voice lines more often#Udi talks
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It's taking me two hours to watch the first frickin hour of Fit and Pac's VODs today because I keep having to cover my face and scream, WHY IS IT SO CUTE!!! THEY'RE SO CUTE I CANT STAND IT!!! FIT SAID "I like you" IN PORTUGUESE AND ABSOLUTELY BUTCHERED IT BUT HE STILL TRIED BECAUSE HE CARES AND HE'S TERRIBLE WITH WORDS AND EXPRESSING HIS FEELINGS BUT HE FINALLY FACED IT HEAD-ON AND SAID IT SO BLUNTLY AND WENT A STEP FURTHER FOR PAC!!! AAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!
They're trying and fumbling and they're awkward in the sweetest way ever and my heart feels like it's going to burst.
#i talk#qsmp talk#I can't stop grinning#like genuinely grinning#I'm the most sleep deprived I've been since college (maybe not even then) and it's been a Real Bad Mental Health Time#but this VOD has put such a giant smile on my face :')#it all feels so sweet and genuine#this kind of story and relationship appeals to me so much. it just feels so sweet and sincere and realistic#Pac and Fit are such great actors I utterly adore their characters and I'm so happy they did this :')))#IM NOT EVEN DONE WITH THE VOD
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Yayyy happy movie night, I hope you had a good time <3 I think I'm gonna watch a movie later tonight too. I heard nothing but good things about Lisa Frankenstein and I hope you'd reanimate my corpse (or whatever happens in that movie)
-🧁
you should watch!! it’s my new fave movie!! i could see it definitely becoming a comfort movie that i watch on repeat <3
and yeah, lotta corpse reanimating in that movie, it’s all v cute amongst all the horror, which is the type of shit i love <3
#thanks for asking 💕#🧁#movie night was fun!!! first movie was depressing™️ but lisa frankenstein cheered me up <3#i hope you have fun at your own!#anyways yeah brb gonna go reanimate your corpse real quick so we can continue our chats <3#or maybe you should reanimate mine as i’m sleep deprived™️#you might have to poke me so i stay awake to talk to you <333
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have been getting up at 6:45 every morning to drop the lich at work & run to the gym & oh boy. my sleep schedule has Not adjusted. i’m seeing double
#k talks#good thing chronic sleep deprivation is simply a normal state of being for me 😌🙏🏼#shoutout to those five years where i actually fell asleep maybe once a week#& the rest was lying perfectly still with my eyes closed supplemented by increasingly dangerous amounts of caffeine#would prefer not to revisit that phase of my life if possible
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I'm trying to get the energy and motivation and desire to do...well. Anything. It's not really working out so well.
Like I know I need to write. I won't feel good about this stupid fic unless I work on it, finish it, edit it, etc. but I just...am drawing blanks as far as motivation.
I should draw. I feel better being creative. But there's no juice.
I should go to the gym. I like exercising, and I went yesterday after work and it was good, and with my work schedule changing again I won't be able to go on Wednesday for much longer...but I just want to go home and sleep for 12 hours.
Hell, I should actually try to find work to do at work. There's some things I could be doing; not much, but something...but what's the point? Nobody ever uses any of the stuff I work on in the catalog. Even with students coming back next week, nothing I do is going to feel like it makes any sort of difference or positive impact.
I need to catch up on CR and get excited for d20 tonight, but I just wanna lie down forever. Hell, I need to think about healthy actual food to eat and make, but all I've done is eat a sleeve of Ritz, insult myself, and decide that's probably enough food for the next few hours.
I'm really hoping the medication changes we're making are going to help, or at least cut some of this exhaustion and apathy off at the knees a little bit... I'm tired of not enjoying anything, not really, and of having things I like and want to do feel like this big obstacles that are easy to put off and ignore. I'm tired of being tired. I'm tired of being unhappy.
#the reason I dump about this crap on Tumblr is that I know my family won't ever see it#and my friends likely won't either#so I can say whatever I want about myself into the void of the Internet without raising eyebrows or causing concern#I wish I had a therapist again#but trying to find one has beem difficult and nothing has worked out#and the fact I can't get a specific referral to a specific person or group is really not helping either#like it's just spiking my anxiety and making me less likely to try and find one#I know in the grand scheme of things everything going on with me is small potatoes#I've got a roof over my head and a job (which sucks and doesn't pay enough but at least I've got one) and a cat who loves me#and a family who tries to support me#logically I've got no real reason to feel like an empty sad tub but here we are#maybe some of this is the sleep deprivation talking. most of it probably is.#but late night dnd on Tuesday is the one constant I've got socially and if I didn't have that I'd have nothing.#so the sleep deprivation feels like a fair trade for a few hours with some online friends#I just sometimes wonder if I like. vanished or stopped or something.#outside of my family bubble. would it really matter?
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