#maybe it's not a big deal and I'm just exaggerating but I don't know what to think honestly

[aguita-mineral]

Have you ever been afraid that a project quite similar to yours will come to light and gain relevance and popularity, making it difficult to want to continue your own project because of the possibility that people will later say that it is a copy, or simply because you feel that your project is no longer original or interesting?

Because I do, and now that fear has come true :')

[alchemistc]

i like your voice in person

Evan's staring at the bed like he's trying to navigate a minefield.

Six months ago that would have sent Tommy on another journey of self-deprecation, a reminder that he'd known Evan wasn't ready for this, known this was a possibility, but Evan, for all his own insecurities, knows what the hell he wants and if he'd felt even an ounce of pressure or remorse up to this point he'd have said something long before now.

Sometimes Evan likes to work it out himself, and sometimes he needs a little nudge, and Tommy watches the head tilt and the angle of his pursed lips for cues as he settles under the sheets.

"Something on your mind?" he prompts, and Evan blinks, like he hadn't realized he'd gotten lost in his thoughts.

"Uh...nothing, maybe."

"Sounds like something, probably."

Evan's smile tilts up at one corner, and he settles on the bed a little stiffly. "It's nothing major. Just. Something I've been thinking about?"

He can feel his brows jumping, can see the way Evan takes in the look with a fond expression. Evan steels himself for something -- they're still muddling through past experiences and learning how to be a bit more intentional in some of their conversations, because they both have a bad habit of reverting to flirting and deflection.

"You remember what we talked about last weekend?"

Tommy can genuinely remember about 93 percent of what he and Evan talk about at any given time, which is an astronomically high number and not at all an exaggeration. He'd be embarrassed about it if he didn't have clear evidence that Evan was as deep into this as he was.

They talk a lot, is the thing, about inconsequential shit just as much (definitely more) than the important stuff. They talk far more than Tommy can remember talking in any other relationship he's been in. But Tommy can pinpoint the exact one he means.

"You mean the roles thing."

Evan hadn't been a stranger to a little daddy talk in bed when they started to explore it, and he'd brought it up right at the start for a reason, but Tommy had taken a while to come around to the realization that Evan had sort of internalized the 'I don't have daddy issues' of it all in a way that Tommy hadn't actually meant it. There'd been little things, here and there; like Evan reaching a door before him and then bashfully waiting with it half open like he'd made a misstep; like twisting his mouth a little funny when he snatched the bill from the table before Tommy could get it. Little things.

Things that, in the abstract, yeah, Tommy liked to do for his partners, but in reality weren't actually that big a deal to him.

He'd needed to clear the air.

Evan nods. Curls a hand around his knee before he shifts his body so that he's facing Tommy. "So, I like taking care of people."

(A conversation, a month ago, Evan grimacing around "My therapist says I have to stop calling myself a people pleaser in a derogatory way.")

Tommy hums, something to remind Evan he's listening.

"And I guess I sort of built up this idea in my head that that was like, a hard stop with you."

("Everyone likes being taken care of sometimes, Evan.")

"And I'm not -- I'm not upset at you, or like, feeling guilty, I just -- I've been thinking about it, and I feel like I forgot to ask you how you wanted to be taken care of."

The thing with Evan is that no matter how often he'll deflect with a joke, when he wants to say something serious he's blunt as hell about it. There might be some hemming and hawing to get there but sometimes he says things that just make Tommy wonder if he'd ever actually learned how to say things before Evan.

"I don't really have a list, babe," he says, and then sort of hates himself for it. Deflect, distract, hey baby how about I blow you about all these big feelings inside my chest I can't articulate.

Evan, though, Evan squinches his eyes and runs a heavy hand through his hair. "I...sort of do?"

"Lay it on me."

Evan grins. "That's actually one of the things on my list."

Tommy blinks. Tries to figure out that trail of thought, but he's coming up with nothing. "Okay, can you expand on that?"

"Like --listen, you know I'm a huge fan of being the little spoon. I'd let someone put screws back in my leg just for continued little spoon privileges. But sometimes I miss being the big spoon, and in my head the idea sounded so stupid to bring up but now I'm wondering if, like, maybe I've just been denying you the joy of being the little spoon?"

Tommy thinks of Evan's hands spread big and warm across his belly, of knees tucked up behind his, warm breath on the back of his neck like when Evan stumbles up behind him in the mornings whining about coffee, and maybe he blue screens a bit because he's never actually dated someone so close to his own size, because there's always been an assumption at the outset that he wouldn't want that.

Alex had been a little too into the same dynamic he'd seen Evan stumbling through, and Colin had hated sleeping with someone's flesh touching his own. Beyond that he hadn't really dated anyone long enough to really form a preference.

Maybe Kara might have been willing, back when he'd been closeted enough to pretend it wasn't an effort to get it up when she had his dick in her mouth, but they'd been young enough that staying the night wasn't really a consideration.

"And like -- listen, I don't necessarily prescribe to gender roles as a thing in general, but a few weekends ago I spent like twenty minutes staring at a bouquet of flowers in Trader Joe's and convinced myself you wouldn't like the gesture so I didn't buy them but you have a few vases in your moms old china cabinet and the moment I remembered them I felt stupid for not buying the flowers."

There's something curling tenderly underneath Tommy's ribcage that he's not sure he's ever felt quite like this before. It's not new, exactly, but it seems to be thrumming particularly hard tonight.

Three months in, Tommy had gotten the man-flu from hell, temperatures so high he'd been grounded and sent packing to rest it off, and he'd texted Evan a jumbled mess of barely discernible things when they'd tucked him into the Uber.

Evan and Bobby had made chicken noodle soup at the station and Hen had sent Evan off with a laundry list of things he could do to help drop the fever, and Tommy had spent the duration sulking and glowering and dragging himself out of bed every time Evan had wanted to change the sheets, to keep Tommy as comfortable as he could, but when Evan had caught it four days later he hadn't hesitated to do all the same shit with gusto. Evan hadn't been particularly grateful either, because neither one of them liked being laid up when the world was out there waiting for them, but he'd at least had the grace to not be an asshole about it.

He had, though. Been grateful. A little awestruck, too, at the mere idea of someone so unafraid of just being there through all the moaning and groaning and hacking and coughing, keeping the tissues from piling up on the bedside table and switching out cold packs to the freezer so he always had one ready in case he wanted it. In the clarity of a full day without fever making his brain feel like cotton candy he'd stared down at a sleepily wheezing Evan and known he could absolutely lose his heart to this man.

"Also I don't want to toot my own horn here but I give excellent foot rubs, and I feel like there's about a million other things I've just been -- holding back from doing?"

"Because of the role thing, or because all your stupid exes told you you were needy?"

It's not a night to pull punches. Also Tommy wants to send thank you cards to every single one of them and attach them to boxes with a bark scorpion inside.

"Both," Evan says without a second of hesitation. His smile crinkles at the corners of his mouth, and Tommy is suddenly annoyed with the space between them. When he holds out his hand to tug Evan into him, Evan melts into it for the space of a moment before he pulls back. "I actually kind of desperately want to be the big spoon right now, if that's something you'd be into." Evan had definitely clocked the look on his face when he'd mentioned it, but he's keyed into the way Tommy checks in and reciprocated in kind since the start of this, so.

Tommy peels his glasses off, snags his bookmark to keep his spot in the monstrosity of the Wrangler maintenance manual he'd stopped being cagey about the fifth time Evan caught him flipping through it, and watches Evan settle comfortably into bed next to him. The problem is, Tommy actually isn't sure where to go from there, which is a ridiculous thought to have because Evan hadn't either and he'd figured it out just fine.

"How do you want me, Buckley?"

The roll of his eyes is so bitchy that Tommy has to remind himself that for all his people pleasing attributes, Evan Buckley is, at heart, a huge fucking brat. Evan tugs and twists and maneuvers his arms and Tommy sort of sinks into it, head tucked in the crook of his shoulder, draping his leg over one of Evan's when he shifts his knee pointedly, a massive, unruly breath escaping Tommy once they're all done shifting.

"You should absolutely try out the rest of your list," he murmurs into the space where Evan's shoulder meets his neck. "Although you don't need to woo me anymore, I'm actually fully wooed."

Lips against his crown, pressed tightly enough that he can feel the smile against his scalp, Evan chuckles. "You don't know how good my wooing is."

The fingers shifting up and down his arm feel somehow different, from this position, even though Evan has done it a hundred times before from the spot he likes to claim with his head right over Tommy's bleeding, three-sizes-too-big-for-him heart. It's ridiculous, and it shouldn't feel any different, but it does. He wants to be greedy with it, soak it in and then never let Evan do this again because he finally understands the appeal and he doesn't want to deprive Evan that.

"This is nicer than I expected."

Evan's soft laugh ruffles his hair, and Tommy wonders if he's dumb enough to ask Eddie how long he should wait before he can reasonably beg Evan to spend the rest of his life with him.

"Save the reviews for when I actually spoon you. It's gonna rock your world." His hand drifts up, fingers digging into the dimple of Tommy's skull.

The hum in his throat has a mind of it's own, going thin and reedy and --

Evan pauses, and Tommy can practically see the gears whirring in his mind, because this is new information.

To both of them, actually, but Tommy doesn't have time to process it because the fingers on the back of his skull spread and sink deeper, just enough pressure to be more than a glancing ruffle, and Tommy can't quite help the way he tilts his head back into it, or the way he hitches his leg to press his groin a little more firmly to the outside of Evan's thigh.

They're both too tired for it to really mean anything -- both off 48's and a fumbled round in the shower while they were already bone weary -- but Tommy wants the reminder for them both when they wake up in the morning.

He can feel his eyes drooping the longer Evan scrubs his fingers against him, and the thought pops into his head as he's drifting off. He doesn't want it to disappear into the fog, though, so he murmurs it into the soft, warm skin of Evan's neck. "I like camellia's. White ones."

Evan hums, and Tommy just knows that the moment he drops off, Evan will be reaching for his phone to google the language of flowers.

[littelovelunette]

How do you feel about Pitfigher Vi x Medic Reader? (may or may not have blue hair in locs)

I don't know so much about the blue hair it feels like you're trying to put CaitVi on me :')

Binding

Pitfighter!Vi x Medic!Reader

"You're an idiot," you snapped seeing Vi enter your chamber. You weren't officially a doctor, of course, who was in Zaun?

But you did your best to help the people with what you knew. And Vi was a regular to say the least. She always had one issue or another.

She was a pitfighter. You knew it.

But you didn't support it.

You sighed and opened the door further to let her come inside.

"Thanks for the greeting, doc," Vi sat down with a groan, you could see the blood dripping from her chest bindings, some her own and some others'.

Vi sat down with a groan.

"Just patch me up, I wanna go home."

"So, you can intoxicate yourself in more alcohol?" You asked, taking your medical kit out of the cabinet. Vi gave you a look.

"I'm just saying!"

You started working on her wounds, applying some ointment on the bruises and bandaging the cuts, "You have to stop being so reckless," you said, pressing on a particularly deep wound.

"Hey, that stings," Vi jerked a little.

"Well, don't go around getting them, maybe?" You rolled your eyes as you made the remark.

"You need new chest bindings," you said getting up.

"They're fine," Vi said glancing down at her blood soaked and grime covered chest bindings.

"That's disgusting and reeks of blood," you said with an exaggerated scrunch of your nose.

"Are you always this much reproachful with all your other patients?" Vi asked, crossing her arms.

You looked away, not answering her as you took out some bandages to help her do her chest bindings.

Vi seemed to be waiting for your answer though.

"Keep the silence up and I'd start thinking you're a little... Fond of me," Vi smirked.

"Shut it," you grumbled, reaching to undo her chest bindings. Yeah, you'd seen her naked. You didn't care about neither did she.

Vi assumed you've seen a lot of your patients naked before so it probably wasn't a big deal for you.

It was true, but you only wished your other patients had been so muscular, jocked up and hot as her. You tried to keep it professional with Vi however, no matter how hot you thought she was. She was absolutely fine, head to toe.

Your hands worked efficiently undoing the chest binding to let her breasts breathe. "You should take a shower," you said walking away to grab a clean towel for her.

Your fingers brushed against hers only slightly when you handed her the fuzzy white towel which she took with a grateful nod.

"Show me to the bathroom?" Vi got up, swinging the towel over her shoulder as she followed you out of the cheap infirmary, and to a strangely pretty yet minimalistic bathroom.

"I'll leave some clothes out here for you, okay?" You smiled softly.

"Yeah, that'd be great, thanks."

"Don't sweat it," you said.

"It's pretty nice actually, how do you even pay rent for all this and your apartment?" Vi asked, stepping in the shower room and examining the toiletries.

"Yeah, well, it's a breeze really when you're so focused and hell bent on fixing every little injury Zaunites sustain," you chuckled.

"Thank you for your service," Vi mock bowed.

You rolled your eyes, "Enjoy the shower," you closed the door behind yourself.

"Will do!" Vi called back.

As you walked down the hall, you could hear the sound of the shower running. You were happy Vi had this one place after her brutal breakup with Caitlyn. She could always count on you for staying over, getting patched up, a nice warm shower and a meal worth eating. You were happy to provide and never expected anything else in return.

As you put your medical supplies away, you heard soft footsteps and you knew it was Vi, she smelled fresher, you could say just by taking a look at her. Water dripped down her fiery reddish hair making you sigh with a shake of your head.

"No one taught you to dry your hair?" You walked upto her, grabbing the towel and using it to dry her hair, a little roughly than intended but Vi was used to it so she didn't exactly complain.

Vi liked being cared for.

"Tell me, birdie," Vi sat down, "Why do you care so much whether I live or die in this hellhole?"

"What do you mean?" You put the damp towel on your lap, not caring as it soaked your dress. You sat down beside her.

"Well, I haven't had a lot of people care for me in the past," she shrugged, "So it feels as if you want something from me now that someone does show they care."

You didn't say anything and looked at your lap, you hadn't really thought about it that way, ever since your little sister died from Sepsis at a young age, you'd been very isolated. And solidarity gave you a lot of time to think about the way Zaunite children suffered solely due to the political disputes. They didn't choose the land they were born on, same way they shouldn't have to suffer but why did they?

Your little sister's death had contributed to your current profession and you had buried that part of your past so deep down that now that Vi brought it up, it felt raw. Unhealed.

"I guess I didn't realise," you said, your voice a faint whisper, "I didn't realise along the way I didn't lose a lot like most others did. I only lost my sister and that made me lose a part of myself and I've been desperately seeking validation unknowingly by helping others."

You stopped speaking, Vi's blue-eyed gaze on you wasnt firm and wary like usual instead it was soft and mixed with understandable concern. Her hand rested on top of your, she knew all too well the pain of losing a younger sister. Although, Jinx wasn't dead yet, there was an unbelievable amount of madness circulating in her brain that now Vi blamed herself for.

"And I've been trying to piece myself together by doing what I do, and I'm unsure if it's a healthy coping mechanism," you looked up at Vi, "I don't want anyone to have to worry about seeking proper, affordable medical help ever again in Zaun."

Vi nodded, eyebrows curling up slightly as she pulled you closer in a side embrace.

"Even if that be a nine-year-old older sister just trying to save her dying younger one," you blinked and a few warm tears tricked down your cheeks.

"Oh, dear," Vi pulled you in for a hug.

You both remained in that position for quite a while and that mattered only in that time. Her hug was surprisingly warm and well practised. You could've gotten used to the feeling. But then Vi shifted, her hand placing on your back.

"I'm here for you now, okay?"

"Mhm," you shifted closer, "Thanks."

After a while when the tension in the air had subsided, you got up slowly and wiped your tears away. You were ready to help Vi do her chest bindings now, you had to be. Other patients would be coming in any second.

"Let's do those chest bindings, yeah?" You grabbed the fresh bandages and Vi nodded, taking the shirt she'd put on temporarily off, letting you help her.

A few days passed since you had your mini breakdown in front of Vi and to be fair, it only bonded the both of you over similar trauma. One of your busy days at the infirmary, when you were moving supply boxes you came across a card that was left at your place by Vi, it was small and scrappy and the words read 'Whenever you get to this, meet me at my place? 6 pm is fine.' You smiled mentally seeing the card and quickly pocketed it so you could aid to your patients.

Upon arrival at her doorstep, you were a little nervous. Vi had never really seen you out of your white apron, and this was a first time. You dressed up a little for Vi even, and did your hair. A girl can fantasize.

"Well, look who it is," Vi smiled, opening the door, "Looking gorgeous as always, doc."

"Oh, thanks for the flattery," you let Vi kiss your hand dramatically and lead you inside.

"What's with the note card? You couldn't tell me you wanted me to come over at yours in person?" You sat down on the couch.

"Nah, I prefer old school."

Her apartment seemed cleaner than the last time you'd helped her back there after you had patched her up. There were no more booze bottles laying all over the floor, and it didn't smell like someone died and was left to rot there.

It was actually humane.

Seeing Vi cleaned up moved something in you and you felt proud of her. She had managed to put the Caitlyn breakup behind herself and finally get a move. You were thrilled for her, you were so proud.

As you watched Vi taking a seat beside you, you could tell she knew exactly what was on your mind. Vi took a look of her own apartment and then looked back at you.

"Not gonna say you're proud of me? I know you're dying to say it," Vi raised a brow.

"And you're as cocky as ever," you giggled.

"Hey, that's just my charm!" Vi said in mock offense.

"Yes, I am proud of how you turned things around," you said with a genuine smile which Vi returned.

"I didn't just call you over to make you say that," Vi said, taking your hand in both of hers.

"These past few days have been pretty nice, with you always being at my aid and bandaging my bruised ass up, I've realised you're one of the few people who genuinely care and don't want advantage from me," Vi said, looking at her floor, the golden lights for the room flickering in reflection in her blue eyes, "It's hard to find people who're true to me, I guess, and you just happen to be one of them."

"Vi," you whispered, staring at her.

You knew what she would say, and you were bracing yourself for her to say it. You didn't know how you'd react, you just needed her to throw the words there.

"I am in love with you, doc."

Vi exhaled deeply, "It's been there for so long."

"Why didn't you say anything?" You asked, sitting straighter.

"Didn't wanna screw out friendship up," she mumbled, her grip on your hand loosening, "Do you... Feel the same way?"

The words rised in your throat but didn't really come out, your lips parted and then closed again. You were unable to say anything because of the happy tears building in your eyes. So instead of saying anything, you leaned in and kissed her.

At first, the kiss was soft and innocent before Vi grabbed your waist, pulling you closer against her own frame. With your body pressed flush against hers, the kiss turned into something else completely, her tongue dominated your mouth easily as if she'd been doing this for a living. Her hand on your waist was tight but not painfully tight, just enough to ground you to reality.

You both parted and you whispered, "I love you," and went back at it again.

Let's just say, that's how you both spent the evening.

[lobotomiesatclaires]

Asaba Harumasa Character Psychology, Headcanons and Kinks

They got me lads. I am now playing Zenless so I lied, you will be getting more of my zzz content (including a part 2 for lighter’s stuff) Harumasa is my man (lighter is my friends) but when I tell you this man has me in CHOKEHOLD, I'm not exaggerating.  Also bunni-v1 writes great Harumasa fics if you need more content.

Also: Spoilers obviously 

Edit: I forgot to add the playlist i made so here you go

Harumasa Playlist

And I will be headcanoning that the cure his master gave him (in his mission) prolonged his life because I don't feel like crying while writing headcanons for the other alternatives. His issues with his chronic illness will not be erased (as an endo chronically ill girlie myself) but we are aiming for the good end here. also this does feature a little Lighter (go read his for context if it is confusing)

General Headcanons

Harumasa is not the type to sit on the sidelines and pine—he takes action. Unlike Lighter, who behind the bravado is riddled with self-doubt and would likely self-sabotage out of fear of not being good enough, or being stuck in his own head, Harumasa knows what he wants and makes sure he gets it. He doesn’t have the luxury of fucking around. While his pursuit of his desired partner would be relentless, it would still be charming enough to not come off as desperate or creepy.

Whereas Lighter might see someone flirting with the object of his affection in its early stages and back off, (very Wyll in BG3 at the party coded) thinking he’s too much, too messy, and that they would be better off with someone less damaged, Harumasa is not that type of guy. If he sees something (or someone) he wants, he will make it happen. He fears rejection, but not enough to stop him from chasing what he wants.

He’s cunning but playful—his approach is not overtly aggressive, but he manipulates situations to make himself the best option without it seeming deliberate. Harumasa would definitely “accidentally” ruin his competitor’s moment by interrupting a heartfelt conversation they’re having with his desired partner.

"Oh wow, sorry for barging in—didn’t realize you were getting confessed to. Wait, never mind, I totally did. Don't mind me, though."

Harumasa grins and plops down next to them, pretending it’s a joke, when he knows damn well what was happening.

Unlike an outright toxic or possessive character, Harumasa wouldn’t openly block other suitors—he undermines them in ways that seem coincidental. He would love to “accidentally” give bad advice to someone else who’s interested in his desired partner.

"Oh, they love really dramatic gestures! Go for something big and public. You should invite them out to that five-star restaurant and serenade them on the stage! Yeah, they have a stage—let me send you the reviews."

(Knowing full well that his wanted partner would be mortified and reject the person immediately.) He would also find any reason to insert himself into situations where his partner and another suitor might get too close.

"Oh wow, you two were gonna get coffee? Crazy—I was just heading that way. Let’s all go together, I need it after working so much overtime!"

Harumasa plays dirty, but subtly. He won’t start a fight with another suitor or his preferred partner—he’ll just make the other guy seem worse by comparison. If another suitor brings a gift? Harumasa one-ups it instantly.

Other suitor: "I got you flowers."

Harumasa: "Cute. I got them a custom-made choker that matches my own. No big deal."

He leans over, fingers tracing their collar, brushing the hair away, enough to be charged but not enough to warrant a callout.

"Looks good on them, doesn’t it?" (very regina george of him, getting the other suitor to agree)

If another suitor says something awkward or embarrassing, Harumasa makes sure his partner notices.

"Did he really just say that? Oh, babe, I think you broke him. Maybe you should go easy on him."

If he and his partner had a fight, the resentment we see in his interactions with Lighter or Seth would rear its ugly head. Harumasa wouldn’t argue when his partner says they need space after a fight, but that night, he makes a quiet note of every interaction they’ve had that week. Were they laughing less? Kissing him shorter? Did they forget to say “I love you” first this time? It’s stupid, he knows. But if he doesn’t count, he won’t be able to tell when it’s really over.

He tends to catastrophize small fights and might overcompensate when he feels distance creeping in. If he senses his partner pulling away, he floods them with affection, gifts, and attention—but also gets quietly resentful because deep down, he fears he’ll never be enough to make them stay. Nothing communication couldn't solve between him and his partner, but his partner would probably have to make the first move to reassure him. Otherwise, his attempts will be thinly veiled worries disguised as jokes.

Sexual and Romantic Headcanons

Sexting - Sex Tapes, Nudes, and Unsolicited Pictures

Harumasa is a known photographer and a good one at that. He knows all the tricks of good composition, lighting, and angles. Not only would this man hound his partner for nudes—both video and picture (though if his partner was uncomfortable, he would drop it)— the things he would send would be filthy.

His partner could be at work, and Harumasa would send a text:

"I have something to show you, baby."

Followed immediately by the most out-of-pocket shower pic known to man. He also sends videos of himself finishing, moaning, and masturbating to the pictures his partner sent him. His partner has to be careful anytime they receive a message from him. Silent mode is a must. He would send the foulest, most down bad texts to his partner, so they would need a good poker face in public.

He would also send nude requests in the middle of meetings. If his partner doesn't answer back quickly enough, he spams them with memes. Eventually, he calls, and when his partner picks up, he just acts nonchalant but keeps them on the phone for an hour talking shit.

Additionally, amateur porn and couples' videos would be something he’s enthusiastic about trying. Nothing too crazy or uncomfortable (although if his partner is adventurous, he would be thrilled), but he would love a personal library of videos of them together. Harumasa likes to say they keep him from feeling lonely when he’s away, whether on a mission or just at work.

Breeding Kink 

Sub categories: Overminding, Pseudo Mommy Kink

This man hates condoms. Harumasa hates the feeling of latex, partly because it reminds him of his time in hospitals. The smell and sensation bring him back to the long, painful periods spent in captivity. He also despises any sort of barrier between him and his partner.

Under normal circumstances, he's already like a velcro dog, attached at the hip with separation anxiety, but during sex? He doesn’t want anything coming between them. That means lights on, or daytime sex where he can see everything.

A subconscious part of him loves the idea of getting his partner pregnant, whether that’s possible or not. Remember how he made little Bangboos of each Section 6 member? Yeah. Part of him wants something that permanently ties him and his partner together.

A child is a forever bond, one that can’t be undone. Before receiving the cure that prolonged his life, Harumasa had already been obsessed with preserving moments. Now, the idea of a legacy through his partner—someone who will exist beyond him and prove that he loved them—is something he fixates on, even if he won’t admit it.

"Just let me come inside. I'll get you Plan B after, promise."

(His partner has to remind him, otherwise he will absolutely forget.)

If they did get pregnant? He wouldn’t be mad. In fact, he would probably commission a custom Bangboo of him and his partner as a “practice baby” to test the waters and see how they react.

I also think in terms of a pseudo mommy kink, he would enjoy being overminded, or overmothered. I don't necessarily think he would call his partner mommy but I think his need for nurturing would come out in certain ways such as nagging for attention when they are busy, loving his partner's chest or wanting to suck on their nipples.

Domination Play 

Sub categories: Femdom and Overstimulation

Half-truths, control, and vulnerability are big themes in Harumasa’s character. Being sick for most of his life, he’s used to feeling weak, being used, or being treated like a fragile object. Sex is one of the only places where he gets to reclaim control, but it’s also where he gets to be completely vulnerable.

For him, overstimulation isn’t just about pleasure, it’s about being pushed past his limits and about feeling alive. But it’s a delicate balance; while he craves intensity, he also hates feeling physically weak. In his professional life, he would rather lean into his genius slacker persona than admit his actual limitations. There’s a fine line between pleasure and frustration for him.

For example: his partner keeps pushing him, overstimulating him, until he physically can’t move anymore. He hates it and loves it at the same time—his body isn’t used to exhaustion feeling good.

“… You’re making me weak. Don’t stop.”

He’s clinging to them, shaking, but refuses to be the one to tap out.

Harumasa’s abandonment issues are so prevalent that they could fill an entire book. He was a child discarded by his parents because of his ether sickness, and his picture book episode makes it clear—he believes that if anyone saw the full mess of who he is, they would run.

A partner with dominance or possessive aspects would actually relax him rather than intimidate him. He’s already possessive himself, but if his partner doesn’t reciprocate that energy, he can feel unbalanced and even ashamed of how much he needs them. Harumasa has cared deeply for people in the past, only to realize that they didn’t love him as much as he did them. Now, as an adult, he wants a partner who is upfront and a little obsessed with him too.

He thrives on a type of possessiveness that toes the line—noticeable in public but not over-the-top PDA. It’s not that he doesn’t want his partner all over him; he just doesn’t want to draw undue attention and be bothered while he’s with them.

Public possessiveness he loves: Sitting in his lap? Yes. A hand on the back of his neck? Even better. Leaning in to kiss him in front of people? Be careful he might make it an uncomfortably long kiss for the public. I feel like if his partner gave the impression that they were embarrassed by him, especially in public, it would be an ugly dealbreaker. He wants to be wanted.

Going back to the intersection of domination, overstimulation, and his need for consuming care—he doesn’t just like to be dominated. He likes being taken care of in a way that doesn’t make him feel small.

For example: his partner pins him down, taking control, and for a moment, his brain flashes back to the times he was trapped in hospital beds, unable to move. His breath catches. His partner notices—pauses and reassures him. And just like that, the panic shifts into trust.

He doesn’t want to feel used or like a tool, like how people have viewed him in the past. And even worse—he doesn’t want to feel like a problem to be discarded.

Harumasa needs to sleep in the same bed as his partner. He has nightmares from his time in the lab, and sleeping next to his partner helps keep the bad nights away. Once he gets used to their presence, he cannot go back to sleeping alone. If they ever suggest separate sleeping arrangements, he hates it.

When he’s on missions, he barely gets any sleep until he gets back.

He would also love it if his partner forced him to take his meds. He’s taking them religiously but he might pretend he’s not just to see them worry and nag him. He’d grumble about it, but secretly, he loves the attention.

For example: his partner constantly reminds him to do things he already knows he should be doing—call the doctor, get some rest, eat the food they cooked, take his meds.

"They taste so bitter and gross, though," he mutters, swallowing the pill. He worries it will change the taste of his saliva, make it sharp and unpleasant, and maybe his partner won’t want to kiss him as much.

But he always gets a kiss after taking his medication.

Later that night, he holds their hand in bed and rubs slow circles over their palm, a silent thank-you.

When he feels like he’s close to losing something, he holds onto it even harder. If he senses his partner is upset with him, he feels the distance ten times more intensely than what’s actually happening in reality. His instinct isn’t to talk—it’s to pull them closer, physically.

People often see dominance as something aggressive or forceful, but real dominance is a service role—it requires carrying the needs of both partners. That’s what attracts Harumasa to a dominant partner, I think. He has carried his own needs alone for too long without any real support.

Aesthetic Domination (Luxury as Control, Beauty as a Tool)

Subcategories: Dressing You, Restriction Through Elegance, Ritual in Presentation

For Harumasa, control isn’t always about action, sometimes, it’s about aesthetics. It’s about curation. It’s about how you match him.

Power doesn’t have to be loud. It can be subtle, whispered through carefully chosen details. Unlike Lighter, who is a little more straightforward with an established relationship, with commands and agreements, Harumasa treads between lines. He tells half-truths, like how he “pretended” to be sick to slack off when, in reality, he really was sick. He moves in ways that make things seem effortless when they’re actually highly deliberate.

Everything is curated. Clothing. Jewelry. Scent.

He would love coordinating outfits. He’s the type of man who picks out a set of jewelry that matches his partner’s eyes. He buys them his favorite lingerie set—not for him, but because they’ll look stunning in it.

And scent?

 If his partner doesn’t have a signature scent, he’s helping them find one. And if they do, he’ll wear traces of it himself. He wants his presence on them at all times. Unlike how Lighter uses his partner’s scent to ground himself, Harumasa uses it as a form of possession. Harumasa would also throw out any perfume that was a gift from anyone else, even if he has to go out and buy you a similar one.

Example:

Harumasa lays out an outfit, every detail carefully chosen so they match. He enjoys knowing he’s connected to how the world perceives his partner today.

"Wear this," Harumasa says, fastening the last button, styling their hair. Maybe they are going out to collect an award. "Think of me on stage, yeah?."

Later, they’re out, and someone compliments their bracelet.

Before his partner even has the chance to respond, Harumasa is already there.

Arm slung over their shoulder, wearing the smuggest shit-eating grin possible.

"Yeah, I got them that. It’s a matching set, see?" He lifts his left wrist, showing off his own.

Jangling it in their face.

It’s a not-so-subtle "They’re taken" move.

Harumasa is very petty like that.

Love Languages – Gift Giving (Both Receiving and Giving), Quality Time

Harumasa never had stability growing up. He treasures material things because they last.

His love language is "I saw this and thought of you. "or ‘I made this for you’.

Harumasa casually drops expensive gifts on the table without making a big deal out of it. If his partner gives him something, he wears it constantly—even if it doesn’t match his usual style. He’s willing to try new things for his partner. But more than expensive gifts, Harumasa loves gifts that take time and effort. He would love to make something homemade or receive it.

For example: If his partner started packing him lunch for work, he would keep the little notes they left him—filled with their handwriting and tiny Bangboo doodles. Eventually, he would begin collecting them, turning them into a scrapbook. It's a reminder that someone loves him enough to fill a book full of post-it notes.

He would also love making picture albums of the two of them—similar to the ones moms make for their kids, but instead, it’s filled with snapshots of their relationship. This is completely my own headcanon, but I also believe Harumasa would write his partner love poems—so many that they could eventually be compiled into a book.

And when he dies (late in life, for my own sanity), I like to think his partner and Section 6 would help get his picture books and, eventually, his poetry published after his partner passes as well.

Messy Sex and Communal Intimacy – An Extension of His Need for Care, Communal Sharing

Messy sex, to me,  just makes sense for Harumasa. Sweat, Spit-slicked kisses, the bed sheets being ruined ect. He loves when things drip onto his partner’s skin, when things get wet and slippery and overwhelming. He loves grabbing his partner by the jaw, pulling them into the mess, sucking their tongue into his mouth. He doesn’t just want to fuck—he wants to drown in them.

Also this man doesn't care about period sex or whether or not his partner has  shaved. It gives the energy of-

‘I used to eat lollipops off the hospital carpet, lie down already’ (11)

I debated on putting a spit kink in this section, because I have read so many good fanfictions that tease that, so if you decide that makes sense, I will never argue with you.

Harumasa wouldn’t care either way if his partner were a stay-at-home or career-focused type—both have their perks. However, I do think a boss bitch partner would do something for him. Not only would it allow him to take time off to recuperate when needed, but he would love the feeling of being minded. On the flip side, if his partner stayed home, he would adore coming home to a cooked meal and a sense of family—something he’s never had and something that would sooth his fear of being left behind again.

For example: After a rough day, Harumasa pulls his partner onto his lap, burying his face in their neck.

"Stay like this." His voice isn’t teasing or light for once—it’s low, almost desperate. If his partner tries to move, even slightly, his grip tightens.

"Please, I said stay." His tone is firm—but there’s a crack in it. Like if they leave, even for a second, they might not come back. His partner cups his jaw, pressing a slow, grounding kiss to his lips.

"I’m not going anywhere."

Harumasa exhales. But only just.

There is also no "mine" or "yours" in the household. His partner’s clothes? His. His clothes? Theirs. His partner would walk into the kitchen to find Harumasa wearing their hoodie—which does not fit him at all.

Harumasa calls it the communal hoodie.

Auralism – Attraction to the Sound of a Voice, Attraction to Sounds or Audio

Harumasa is LOUD. He’s a whiner, a moaner, a whimperer. He and his partner would have to soundproof their apartment because one time, he was so loud the neighbors complained.

He craves a space where he can be completely himself. Sex is one of those few spaces. If he has to perform or censor himself, then he doesn’t want to do it at all. Likewise, he wouldn’t like it if his partner held back their moans or sounds—he’s the type of man who needs to hear them to get off. If it’s too quiet, he gets frustrated.

"Why so quiet? I want to hear everything."

He loves not necessarily just dirty talk but pure reactions. He thrives on noise—breathy gasps, high moans, even shaky, incoherent sentences drive him crazy. A well-placed word or a high-pitched moan from his partner could shock him in a good way and have him finishing earlier than intended. His mind would just blue screen. 404 error. Not found.

He’s also the type to enjoy Skype sleep calls or call his partner while away on a mission just to listen to their voice while falling asleep. When his partner finally drifts off, he stays on the line, enjoying the sound of their breathing—at least until his phone battery dies.

Given his fear of being alone, he would find immense comfort in hearing his partner’s voice, even when they’re not around. He would record their voice—whether it’s a casual conversation or something more intimate—just so he can play it back when he’s alone.

When he’s on a mission, he can only fall asleep listening to them hum or talk on the phone.

"I want you to record a message for me. Just say anything. I don’t care what—it just has to be your voice."

Harumasa would also have a playlist for everything.A playlist for his partner. A playlist for sex. A playlist for when he’s missing them.

If his partner sends him a song that reminds them of him? He plays it on repeat.

Cockwarming – A Subtle Possessiveness, a Need for Closeness

Listen, if this man could live in his partner’s skin, he would. He whines and pouts about wanting closeness, whether it’s bothering them while they cook, playing with their hair, or just resting against them. It allows him to feel completely connected to his partner without the pressure of performance.

A lot of people—especially men—misunderstand the need for intimacy with the urge for sex. It’s common to confuse the two. This is why so many men, for example, sleep around but never feel satisfied—because the need they wish to sate is emotional and intellectual, not just a physical cog to be greased (9,10).

This aspect of connection for Harumasa sates both a sexual urge, a need for intimacy, and soothes his fear of isolation while maintaining his subtle possession of his partner.

Harumasa, sleepy, half-mumbling, "Just… stay like this a little longer."

Will not move unless physically removed. He would spend hours like that—reading, sleeping, just existing while still connected.

Chronically ill people tend to struggle with temperature regulation, fatigue, and sensory overstimulation. Cockwarming allows Harumasa to use his partner as a source of warmth, comfort, and grounding. His body is often cold, weak, or aching—being wrapped up in heat and softness could help with muscle relaxation ect.

He struggles with sleeping alone and sleeps better when he knows his partner is physically connected to him. He has nightmares from his time in the labs, and if he wakes up in a panic, cockwarming becomes an immediate grounding tool.

Risky Sex – Spontaneous Sex, Teasing Dynamics

Why does Harumasa like risky sex? It’s not just the thrill of it.

It’s because it makes things feel urgent—like he has to have his partner now, or he’ll lose them. Sometimes, it’s not even a conscious realization; it’s just that he’s feeling things he doesn’t want to feel, and his partner is the only thing that can make him feel safe again.

He loves the kind of sex where you’re both at a work dinner, and his hand brushes against your leg under the table. He enjoys watching you flush and squirm at small touches, playing it off like nothing. It keeps happening until you excuse yourself to the bathroom to cool off, only to find he’s followed you when no one was watching, locking the door behind him before fucking you up against the creaking stall door.

He’s a fan of these types of quickies—not just for the thrill, but because they release tension and reaffirm that you want him always. That you won’t leave him.

If someone almost walks in on you both, his first instinct isn’t to stop—it’s to cover your mouth, press his lips into your skin to muffle his own moans, hold you deeper against the wall, and keep going.

He whispers against your skin:

 "Shhh… You don’t wanna get caught, do you?"

The real truth? He doesn’t actually want to get caught. But he wants that moment of danger—the moment where nothing else matters except the two of you.

If his partner initiates something like this? He loses it.

Roleplay – Both Sexual and Non-Sexual

Harumasa would love to pretend silly things with his partner.

He would be the type to drag you to IKEA just to have a fake fight in the showroom kitchens. He would pick out furniture and household things like you’re married already—even if you’re not.

He would upgrade his flight tickets to first class, just to walk up to the flight attendant and say, "Can my wife/husband come with me?"

He also lies to every restaurant you visit, telling them it’s your birthday so you can get free cake—even if it’s nowhere near your actual birthday. Then he makes sure to take embarrassing pictures of you blowing out candles at every single restaurant you go to.

If you hate having "Happy Birthday" sung to you in public? Too bad. It’s for a good cause. Free cake.

Harumasa also romanticizes scenarios between the two of you. He holds onto small moments and becomes deeply invested in them.

If you ever jokingly pretend to be married in a conversation? Harumasa casually starts using the pet name you made up, like it’s real. If his partner tells him a story about how they first met and their perspective? He wants to hear it again.

One evening, sprawled across the couch, head resting in his partner’s lap, he suddenly asks:

"Tell me how we met."

His partner glances down, confused. "You already know that story."

He shrugs, lazily tracing circles on their thigh. "Yeah. But I like the way you tell it."

Hearing them say it, over and over again, reminds him that they chose him. That they still do and that they haven’t changed their mind.

Arousal Misattribution – Emotional Overload and the Need for Reassurance

With Harumasa’s high-risk line of work, I think there would be a level of Arousal Misattribution (6).

Arousal misattribution happens when the body experiences heightened physiological arousal from one source (fear, stress, adrenaline, etc.) but the brain misinterprets it as sexual attraction or desire.

I think, for Harumasa, this is particularly relevant because his job is constantly putting him in life-or-death situations. His body is used to stress and adrenaline spikes, so his brain starts associating those feelings with the need for intimacy.

Sex is also beneficial for overall health, and disabled and chronically ill people who have more sex tend to experience a better quality of life and an alleviation of symptoms (7,8).

Harumasa’s underlying abandonment fears make him crave reassurance through physical closeness.

When he comes home from a dangerous mission, his body is still full of adrenaline, tension, and emotional intensity. Instead of processing these feelings through words or rest, he might translate them into an urgent need for intimacy.

His fear of death and the thought of not making it back to his partner often manifest as him coming home, stripping, and throwing himself at them desperately—like they’re his lifeline.

Unlike Lighter, who seems to disassociate after a fight, the pain being a deterrent, and would not want to engage in sex right away, Harumasa needs to. Otherwise, he becomes anxious and unmoored.

Example 1: Coming Home from a Mission

Harumasa walks through the door after a brutal mission. His hands are shaking slightly from residual stress. But he acts like nothing’s wrong, he’s good at that, and tosses his coat and bow onto a chair, smirking like usual.

But there’s a flicker of something behind his eyes.

"Miss me?" he asks, his grin seems easy to most but to his partner it's stretched just a little too tight. Not as easy as it usually is with them.

He doesn’t wait for an answer before grabbing them, kissing them like he’s starving. They don't even get time to finish what they were doing.

He’s not just horny. He’s overwhelmed. His body is still pulsing, buzzing with leftover adrenaline, Subconsciously, he needs to feel something real to remind himself he survived. It’s not conscious, he doesn’t even realize what he’s doing. He just knows that if he doesn’t touch them right now, he might spiral.

Example 2: Coming Home Late at Night

Harumasa comes home after a mission. It’s late, and his skin is itching. He calls out.

 "I’m home."

Silence. No response. The lack of an answer is unusual. His breath is shallow. His tie is too tight as he stomps upstairs to check the bedroom. His partner is asleep. Harumasa stares at them for a second. He can’t help but pout. He begins to undress. He climbs into bed, wraps himself around them, presses kisses against their shoulder.

"Hey. Wake up."

His partner groans, rubbing their eyes. "You’re insufferable." They register he's completely naked.

"Mm. Thought you’d be awake." His lazy grin is half-visible in the dark room. "Guess I was wrong. But now that you’re awake..."

They mumble as he presses hot, desperate kisses into their skin. "What do you want?"

Harumasa presses closer, arms locked around their waist.

"I can think of a few things."

Final Thoughts

Harumasa’s character is both playful and possessive, deeply affectionate but riddled with anxiety and a fear of loss. Everything he does is a balancing act between his desire for connection and his fear of losing it, between his ability to manipulate situations in his favor and his underlying need to be truly chosen, without tricks or interference. 

The fact he was left by his parents, abandoned for his sickness before he could talk cuts deep. Since then, a lot of his relationships have a transactional element to them, where he has to give a huge amount of himself, whether physically e.g spine taps and tests with his master or professionally by putting his health on the line in the field of duty. Harumasa’s desire for intimacy is tied to his need to be wanted, his abandonment issues, and proving his lifelong struggle with illness does not exclude him from being worthy of love.

Every physical connection he makes with his partner isn’t just about pleasure—it’s about reassurance, grounding, and the overwhelming need to feel wanted. Harumasa is actually a very kind and giving person but very few people get to see how big that side of him really is.

References and Bibliography for Further Reading:

Theswaddle.com. (2019). The Psychology of Sexual Kink. [online] Available at: https://www.theswaddle.com/what-is-kink-the-psychology-behind-sexual-behavior [Accessed 9 Feb. 2025].

‌Li, S. (2024). The Psychology of Kink: A Cross‐Sectional Survey Investigating the Association Between Adult Attachment Style and BDSM-Related Identity Choice in China. Archives of Sexual Behavior, [online] 53(6), pp.2269–2276. doi:https://doi.org/10.1007/s10508-024-02829-1.

When Kinks Come to Life: An Exploration of Paraphilic Behaviors and Underlying Predictors. (2024). The Journal of Sex Research. [online] doi:https://doi.org/10.1080//00224499.2024.2319242.

The Kink Orientation Scale: Developing and Validating a Measure of Kink Desire, Practice, and Identity. (2024). The Journal of Sex Research. [online] doi:https://doi.org/10.1080//00224499.2024.2387769.‌

Kibbe, K. (2018). 55 Kinks and Fetishes You Should Absolutely Know. [online] Cosmopolitan. Available at: https://www.cosmopolitan.com/sex-love/a24481923/kinks-fetish-list/ [Accessed 8 Mar. 2025]. 

Neff, M. (2024). Unmasking Emotions: The Science of Misattribution in Social Psychology - Neurodivergent Insights. [online] Neurodivergent Insights. Available at: https://neurodivergentinsights.com/the-misattribution-of-arousal-theory/ [Accessed 8 Mar. 2025].

A Dominguez-Bali, Santana, R., Basta, J., Belizaire, J. and C Dominguez-Bali (2023). (459) Healthy Effects of Sex. The Journal of Sexual Medicine, [online] 20(Supplement_1). doi:https://doi.org/10.1093/jsxmed/qdad060.431.

‌Renu Addlakha, Price, J. and Heidari, S. (2017). Disability and sexuality: claiming sexual and reproductive rights. Reproductive Health Matters, [online] 25(50), pp.4–9. doi:https://doi.org/10.1080/09688080.2017.1336375.

MensLine Australia. (2024). Men and intimacy. [online] Available at: https://mensline.org.au/relationship-advice-for-men/men-and-intimacy/#:~:text=Men%20often%20confuse%20sex%20and,to%20experience%20intimacy%20without%20sex. [Accessed 8 Mar. 2025].

Emotional intimacy, sexual desire, and sexual satisfaction among partnered heterosexual men. (2025). Sexual and Relationship Therapy. [online] doi:https://doi.org/10.1080//14681994.2013.870335.

https://www.tiktok.com/@yourdailybanter/video/7451675839659380000?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7441036674731476513

Zenless Zone Zero Wiki and Game - https://zenless-zone-zero.fandom.com/wiki/Asaba_Harumasa

[shelbgrey]

Gabriel Being your guardian angel and falling in love with you

Paring: Gabriel x Singer!Reader

Summary: the only thing gabe has ever tooken seriously is keeping you safe, but what he didn't expect is falling in love with you. -SMUT warning

🧡MasterList 🧡ML2 🧡Dating Moodboard

When he found out he didn't really care. Michael and Lucifer were desened to inhabit the Winchesters bodies and he got the boring job of being Bobby Singer's Nieces.

But it's the first and almost only thing he has ever taken seriously. He was the trickster after all and it was mostly deadly jokes to him, but when he saw you he immediately took the role of guardian angel seriously.

You didn't have an encounter intill years. You were an adult and a hunter. Your first case involving him, he was just known as the trickster. He left you untouched but screwed with Sam and Dean.

That pattern continued when with the mystery spot Fiasco. Gabe knew how much you cared for Dean so he didn't put you in the time loop with Sam.

He didn't bring Dean back till you asked.

During his TV land joke he purposely put you and the boys in shows you liked. Like Dr. Sex MD was based off Greys anatomy(a show you liked).

“it's him! It's Dr. Sexy” Dean said excided.

“McDreamy trumps Dr. Sexy” you said, rolling your eyes.

After you got out of TV land, you confronted him while he was in the holy fire.

“I'm always left untoched during your practical jokes, why is that?”

he just chuckled, crossing his arms. 'Dammit.' He thought, he couldnt get a rise out of you. It was time to see his more sincere side. “What? You dont think the big bad "Trickster" has a soft spot?”

His sarcasm to drop. He wanted you to know the real reason but was he supposed to be like "oh. I'm your angel. I dont like putting you in harms way when I can control it?"

“I don't know... Do you have a soft spot?”

For some reason you felt some kinda connection. You never looked into his eyes until this point, there was this feeling of safety you felt. Heck, looking back you never felt threatened by him. He was good at being your guardian angel.

“Not usually. But for you? Maybe a little” He just grinned and winked. He did have a soft spot for you and he felt a sense of overprotectiveness over you. he has to deal with you being in constant danger and being a hunter doesnt help.

“Why?” you looked down at the holy fire he was trapped on. “you ain't going anywhere any time soon... Might as well awnser”

“I'm your guardian angel, baby” he smirked, his his eye brows bouncing up and down like it was some big spectacle he just revealed.

“wow... I thought guardian angels was just bullshit”

He nodded, his normal goofy and sarcastic tone dropping to more sincere and gentle. He also hated that you picked up on the sarcasm quickly. “Yep. Most are. They are assigned randomly. But well, I was your guardian the second you were born... Now let me out- I dont like being in a holy fire” He teased, a smile creeping back on his face.

You chuckled sarcastically. “you think I'm just gonna let you out just like that? You're still the trickster”

“Pretty please?” He smirked and gave you an innocent look with wide puppy dog eyes. He knew he was playing dirty but hey, it's the only way he was getting out.

“Pretty please? Seriously?”

“Pretty. Please” He said the words slow and with exaggerated hand motions. He was pushing his luck now.

“If I do, you have to lay low for a while... No more tricks”

“For how long?” He groaned at the idea. He has been playing tricks on people for centuries. So he wasnt very keen to stop. But it was you. That's the only reason he would do it. Not that hes even admitted that to himself yet.

“Until I say so”

He groaned. “Fine. Fine”

You paid mercy on him and convinced the brothers to let him go. You also didn't speak to sam or Dean about him being your guardian angel.

After that he wouldn't leave you alone. It annoyed the hell out of the boys but you brushed it off.

“Gooooodd Morning miss. Y/n Singer. It's a beautiful day in Lawrence Kansas. The weather is gonna be sunny and dry. But better get ready because the forecast predicts a pesky Windego on the loose. I'm your host Gabriel the Trickster”

You groaned, rolling over on your stomach and hiding your head under your pillow to drown out the noises. This happened for weeks, he'd use his tricks to tap into your alarm and annoy you. Every morning.

“And now for music time! Because everyone loves moooousic!!” He spoke the last word, the music switched to Rick Astleys 'never gonna give you up'. Just another stupid prank to piss you off, because he was in denial about his growing feelings.

Guardian angels aren't supposed to fall in love with their person. It was just the rules.

Then again when did gabe ever follow the rules.

After yours and Dean's failed atempt at a relationship gabe flew in. It started off casual. You slept together once or twice but Never confermed anything.

Not wanting that in a relationship you told him how you felt. “everyday I'd wake up to your stupid music and your stupid voice. I feel in love deeper and deeper with you”

You kept it on the down low afraid of how the boys would react.

The boys didn't find out about you guys dating or the fact he was still alive until the boys walked in you guys fucking in the library in the bunker. They had gone on a hunt and you thought it was gonna be days before they came back, oh boy were you wrong. Gabe has no shame, he was balls deep inside you and had you seeing stars when the brothers walked back into the bunker because they forgot something.

“How long have you been alive!?” Sam asks, exasperated.

“How long have you been banging y/n?” Dean grumbles, with jealousy in his eyes.

The first time you watched him died hurt worse than any wound you got on the job. He lied there lifeless after saving you from Lucifer. The boys didn't know how to comfort you. It felt like part of you was missing.

He stayed 'dead' to keep you safe.

Then you found out Asmodeus had captured and torchored him, you were beyond furious. Gabe was beyond scared when he was in the bunker but he trusted you. It was your turn to protect him.

You were the one to convince him to take his grace and heal himself. “I need you gabe, I can't lose you again”

He took his grace then looked at you. “I love you...” that was the first time he ever said that.

He didn't leave your side after that and even helped you look after Jack who you took under your wing. He took the role of an uncle oddly seriously.

Then came your time in purgatory. You were determined to get jack back and Gabe wasn't gonna let you go alone. He loved you and by the laws of heaven he had no choice.

He never left your side during your time in purgatory. It angered Dean and Sam but Gabe could care less, you were his girl.

During that time Lucifer teased the both of you. It infuriated Gabe and he did his best to keep distance between the both of you. “lay one hand on her it'll be the last thing you ever do”

During the cold nights you lied awake next to gabe wrapped in his leather jacket.

When it was time for you to leave gabe didn't make it back. And he was gone for real this time. It took all Sam's power to pull you back as you screamed and cried his name. “Gabriel!”

While everyone celebrated their return home you stayed in your room in the bunker crying in his leather jacket he left with you.

The pockets of the jacket were filled with candy wrappers. you never took them out.

After he died your post hunt injuries hurt worse and they were more often. That proved gabe did his job well.

Dean nor Sam didn't know how to help you. He comforted you when you cried but Castile was the only one that willingly talked to you about it.

“he really did love you... In fact him being your guardian angel was the only thing he ever took seriously.”

NSFW headcanons:

He loves missionary, keeping eye contact while he fucks you. He loves how you dig your nails into his back and wrap your legs around his waist to bring him impossibly closer.

If he's had a rough day, he either needs one of two things. A rough fuck or he needs to curl up beside you and rest his head on your chest while you play with his hair.

He's not very vocal during sex. He mostly moan or grunt, but he's never not praising you. If your giving him head or ridding him he's a complete moaning mess though.

He's a boob guy. He'll bury his face into your boobs as he pounds into you. He loves it when you start moaning and tugging at his hair, He honestly can’t get enough.

Cock warming and usually he's a little shit about, conveniently gets in the mood for it during move night with the Winchesters and Cas. Usually it's dark and you're both under a blanket together in the back in the Dean cave. “Gotta be still for me. Can you do that?” He murmured, making your pajama bottoms disappear with a quiet snap of his fingers. You'll have to bite your lip to keep quiet as he helps you sink down on his cock while he litters your neck with kisses.

It'll be hard to keep your mind off the feeling of his hard cock inside you and not the movie you were supposed to be watching. Don't even try to roll your hips, Gabriel will stop it immediately by giving your hips a warning squeeze. “the movie is almost over, just a little longer Sugar”

He always wraps your legs around his waist so he can go faster and harder,hitting your g-spot every thrust, keeping control of every movement.

He loves the feeling of you wrapped around his cock. It's like a vice, and loud moans escaping your lips is just icying on the cake.

He has a huge wing kink, the feeling of your fingers running through his feather or gripping them is a feeling he'll never get tired of. Sometimes he'll thrust into harder because he knows you first thing you'll grab to ground yourself is his wings.

 The way your small hands grip his feathers hard, especially at the base of his back will have him losimg all common sense.

He'll lift himself up on his knees with you still wrapped around him and pound into you. This new position helps him sink deeper as he jerks your hips down as his spring forward.

When his tongue enters your mouth, you didn’t even try to fight for dominance, you never have a problem with him taking the lead.

He'll lap at your clit with so much hunger, circling his tounge over your swollen bud until you're a moaning mess. When he thinks he's teased you enough he'll take it into his mouth, eating you out like a starving man until you're cumming hard on his tongue.

Gabe doesn't let you off easily either, He'll have his arm over your pelvic bone keeping you on the bed bed and overstimulating with his tongue till you're begging. “G-gabe...t-too much, P-please”

“I’m sorry, sugar. You’re too damn sweet” he sat up, his face slick from your release.

[ever-eilish]

Hi could you do a Billie x reader where they’ve been arguing for a while now and y/n went to Billie’s studio and she seen Billie with some other girls at the studio

Spare keys

billie eilish x reader

fights between couples are normal, and when you decide to make up with Billie, your girlfriend, you discover something that would haunt you forever.

author's notes: hii!! sorry for disappearing!! I'm happy to say I'm back now ;) thank you so much for your request, I hope this was what you were expecting, I decided to make it a bit more angsty, so let me know what you think! once again, english is not my fist language so sorry for any mistakes, enjoy💕

warnings: cheating, some cursing and angst with no happy ending

You always knew that fights between couples were normal, that even when you love someone more than yourself, there will always be something that bothers you about the other person. And that's the difference between a good couple and a toxic couple: good couples can deal with their differences and go through it together; toxic couples hold on to these differences and make a big deal out of it.

At this point you don't know what kind of couple you and Billie were.

You loved her, obviously. Her smile enchanted you, her stupid jokes made you laugh and her blue eyes would make you decide that blue was your favorite color.

The only problem was that you didn't know if she loved you.

At first, it was all very subtle. First it was one of her bouts of jealousy that would be resolved in some kisses and making out on the sofa in her mansion. Then, an idiotic fight about who should wash the dishes, which was once again resolved with a few more kisses, hugs and promises of eternal love.

However, over the past few months, the fights were no longer so simple to resolve.

"Holy shit, Billie! I asked you not to go out with her, since she's clearly flirting with you all the time." You scream with your hands on your head "and what did you do? You went out with her, and on top of that you hugged her all day"

"Stop being dramatic!" Billie says. "She's just a friend"

"Marlena is a bitch! That's what she is" you say, grimacing as you mention the name of the slut who's been keeping you up at night.

"Don't talk about her like that!"

You freeze. Was Billie really defending the bitch who tried to kiss her a few days ago and then just said she was joking?

You shake your head at the bitter memory of your last - and perhaps worst - fight with Billie.

You and your girlfriend hadn't spoken since the day of the fight about Marlena, and you were feeling bad, really bad.

Maybe it was all a misunderstanding and maybe you just exaggerated, right? Right.

Billie is your light, and you can't lose her to a stupid fight. You have been through so much; this is just a troubled phase.

With this thought in mind, you get up from the bed - in which you had been lying since you stopped talking to your girlfriend - and get ready, deciding that you will surprise her. Putting on some worn jeans and a random shirt from your favorite rock band, you walk out the door of your apartment in downtown Los Angeles, and head towards Billie's studio.

You knew that your girlfriend would be recording today, since Finneas - her brother - had told you that they were both there, knowing how much you cared about his sister.

After passing a few meters, and laughing at some kind of bizarre Spider-Man that hung from the ceiling of the first subway station you took, you finally see the studio doors.

Out of breath, you just say your name to the angry-faced security guard, hand over your ID and he lets you in.

You run to the place where you knew Billie was and finally see the dark blue door, which had a transparent circle in the center that allowed you to look inside the cabin. With a sigh of relief for finally having found the correct location, you extend your right hand to open the door and enter the place, however, before you even enter, you decide to take a peek at the transparent circle, and that's when your world stops.

Wearing a pink mini skirt and a transparent black blouse, Marlena is sat on Billie's lap, apparently watching her do something on the computer.

Everything you ever believed in was shattered in a matter of moments. How could Billie have done this to you? While you were crying and brooding, was she with Marlena?

Tears well up in your eyes and you just can't move.

Suddenly, everything made sense. All the times she stood up for Marlena, all the times she canceled your date night to go out with Marlena, all the times she wouldn't let you take her cell phone. Everything makes sense now.

You wanted to scream, you wanted to go into the studio and break all the equipment. Pull Marlena by the hair and make her regret messing with your girl.

And Billie? You wanted to kill her. You wanted to kill her for deceiving you, you wanted to kill her for making you believe that you were the love of her life, you wanted to kill her for making you fall in love with her.

However, that's not what you do.

With a defeated sigh and stubborn tears that insist on falling from your eyes, you turn around and head towards your home.

On the way, you don't laugh at the bizarre Spider-Man on the subway, you just head towards your house.

When you arrive at your apartment, you realize that every corner of this place is haunted with pieces of Billie, and you decide that maybe it's time to move out.

Laying down on your bed, you snuggle into the comforters and cry for what seems like an eternity, until you hear a very familiar voice call you from the room.

"Hi, love, I'm sorry for everything, can we talk?"

Damn time you gave her the spare keys.

[hgfictionwriter]

Maybe This Time - Part Three

Jessie Fleming x Reader

Summary: Jessie and you finally get some 1:1 time together (thanks Janine!). You work to build new memories together, but hurt from the past needs to be addressed.

Warnings: None. Temporary, very light angst, but mostly sweet fluff.

A/N: Part two and one.

"What do you think? Should I go for it?" 

Jessie smirked as she saw the screenshot you sent her of her jersey in the Thorns' site shopping cart. 

"I don't know. I thought you said that was too big a commitment." 

"I did. But I was rather impressed at the last game. And we went for drinks after, I finally got to meet Janine – so you know, points for that. And if I think about it, I'm like an OG fan. But if you think I should get a different jersey..." 

Jessie laughed under her breath, her smirk now a full blown smile as she read your message while she ate lunch. The conversation she'd been on the periphery of carried on as she ate another bite before typing out a reply. 

"Oh yeah? Post-game drinks were a hit, huh? And you know, my stats are only getting better with each game 😉 And let's be honest, I'd be pretty offended if you got someone else's jersey. Except Sinc's. Because, you know, GOAT." 

"Oh, well, say no more. You had me at 'stats' lol. Done. I'll pick it up before next game." 

"Lol I figured. My plan all along – I know how much you love stats." 

"You know me so well. I have to say, I'm kind of tempted to modify the jersey. Add some sort of patch or stitching, 'Yay sports!'" 

Jessie laughed out loud, less discrete than before.  

"Don't you dare lol. I've taught you better than that. But hey, if you ask nicely, I could actually sign it for you 😎" 

"I'm sure I have an old group paper kicking around with your signature on it. I need to be able to wash this thing lol. What else can you offer though?" 

Jessie swallowed her food hard, the bite getting caught temporarily in her throat with a wince. Okay, no signature – how humbling. However, there was an opening. 

She stared at her phone temporarily before a loud clearing of someone's throat caught her attention. She lifted her gaze with a curious frown on her face to see Janine staring expectantly at her. Jessie instinctively tilted the phone inwards towards her body. 

"I don't even have to spy to know who you're texting," the blonde said rather self-satisfied. Jessie looked around, heat building in her face already as she hoped Janine was the only one focused on her.  

"Yeah?" Jessie retorted, attempting to appear as unfazed as possible. "You should be pleased. You keep pushing me to text her." She cracked a smirk. "Now that you don't think she's the devil incarnate for 'stringing me along' in university." 

"Oh I don't think you need to be pushed," Janine teased with a wicked grin. "And I never said she was the devil incarnate." She lifted a hand to her chest in exaggeration. "I merely questioned things. But you're right," she relented, "she's quite lovely. And she gives you butterflies, and she makes you blush - more than usual - and you try to act all nonchalant and it's just too adorable for words." 

"Uh huh," Jessie muttered with a flat look. Janine leaned in excitedly. 

"And I have to say, I got the sense that she and I could riff off of each other and just tease the heck out of you, so that really sealed the deal for me." 

Jessie rolled her eyes. "Oh yeah, that's exactly what I need in my life." She'd never admit that it actually excited her that her best friend and you could get along so well. If – and it was a huge 'if' - anything evolved between you two, it was key that you got along with her friends and family.  

She started thinking about how well you got on with her parents and sister – you'd met before during your days at UCLA and they loved you. She also remembered how disappointed they'd seemed when she eventually told them that you two didn't speak anymore.  

"Well, since you're so invested," Jessie went on, rolling her eyes facetiously once more as she opened her phone again and turned it to Janine, "what should I say?" 

Janine squinted as she leaned in to read and it only took a moment for her expression to light up. Before Janine could say anything, Jessie snatched the phone back and placed it on her lap with a frown.  

"I don't want to hear it," she pre-empted the girl. 

"What?" Janine said innocently with a mischievous glint in her eye. "I am totally supportive of the flirtation between you two." She ignored Jessie's look of complaint and cut off her protest. "Her shutting down your autograph is pretty hilarious, by the way," she said with a marginally apologetic look. "Not smooth on your part – you know she's not impressed by your elite football skills. Don't lean on your Jessie the Footballer identity." 

"I wasn't," Jessie nearly hissed, trying to keep her voice down and avoid drawing attention. "I was joking. Half joking." 

"You were flirting, or at least attempting to. She left you an opening here though. So, you should ask her out." 

"I'm not asking her out," Jessie pouted, her shoulders rounding as she scooched closer to the table. She huffed upon seeing the scrutinizing look her friend gave her. "We're still getting to know each other again." 

"Fine. Don't define it as a date, then," Janine dismissed with a wave. She leaned in, folding her arms on the table. "Ask her to go for dinner." 

"Basic," Jessie remarked as she sat up and crossed her arms in disapproval. She frowned. "Plus that's too date-like." 

"Fine," Janine said curtly. "How about a hike?" 

Jessie hummed and hawed, unconvinced. "Maybe someday. Doesn't seem right at this point though." Janine rolled her eyes in exasperation.  

"Well, what did you two used to do back at UCLA?" 

Jessie shrugged. She saw the frustration Janine was telegraphing at how unhelpful she was being and jumped in. "We went to drop-in art classes sometimes." 

Janine held a hand up to the sky. "Thank you. Finally – something I can work with. Okay! Let's find a drop-in class for you two to go to then." She pulled out her phone and started browsing before shooting a look at Jessie as an aside. "Oh, and dinner's too date-llke, but an art class isn't? Okay." 

Jessie grunted and pulled out her phone as well to look.  

"Here," Jessie announced after a couple of minutes. "This'll work. She enjoyed painting." 

Without further consultation, Jessie began to type out a message to you. She bit back a laugh at how Janine's head was bobbing around periodically trying to peek at the message from across the table.  

"Don't send it yet! I want to see it," Janine pouted.  

"You are not writing my messages for me," Jessie told her pointedly, but gave a heavy sigh as she turned her phone for the blonde to see. An affronted look crossed Jessie face as Janine let out a guffaw and snatched the phone out of her hand.  

"No," Janine simply said with a wag of her finger before she started typing. Jessie reached out for the phone, but Janine turned her body away. Jessie clamored more, but stopped as soon as she noted some of their teammates glancing their way. She shrunk back into her seat, a hand rubbing the side of her face as she spoke in a harsh whisper.   "What are you doing." 

"Jeff. Relax. I would never lead you astray," Janine assured her. "And this is so very satisfying for me since I never got to help you with any of this during uni. Cause let me tell you, if I had been involved, you two definitely would've been living happily ever after." 

Jessie breathed in exasperation. "Please. Give me my phone back." 

"Okay, okay. Here," Janine said, all humour from her tone gone as she now offered Jessie a sincere smile. "Read it over, but I think this is good." 

Jessie gave her a lingering stare as she took back her phone and let out another withering sigh before reading.  

"Funny you should ask. I was thinking about how much I missed art classes together. How about I take you to one of the drop-in painting classes across town when I'm back from Houston?"  

Jessie lifted her gaze to meet Janine's and she studied the blonde for a few moments before relenting with an inaudible sigh. It was better than her original "I don't know. Paint class?" reply. She hit send and released another heavy breath as she tucked the phone away once more.  

"You're welcome," Janine said with a saccharine smile. Jessie gave her a fake smile in return, pulling a laugh out of the girl. "Hey, let's remember which one of us is engaged and which one of us is perpetually single." 

"Ouch," Jessie said with a light laugh.  

"I'm just teasing," Janine went on. "I genuinely hope this turns into something for you. Considering you've only come back into each other's lives, what, like a couple months ago? You two seem pretty solid already. And you seem happier." 

Jessie wanted to give a dry retort of some kind, but Janine was right. You two talked every day now and the chemistry you had in university was still very much present. And the depth you once had in your friendship was something that was quite easily and naturally being broached again. Even if you'd both grown and changed, the cores of who you were still aligned well and fit together. Too well. 

She'd more or less dismissed the spark of emotions that came up during your initial interactions as some sort of emotional muscle memory, but the feelings were proving to not be fleeting or diminishing.  

If anything, her feelings for you were growing. And this time they felt different, too. Heavier, deeper in some way. She was a more realized person now, as were you, and it made the connection between you more substantial. Less juvenile.  

Her phone buzzed. She opened her lock screen.  

"That sounds like a lot of fun! Let's do it." 

————

By the time your paint date night came around, Jessie was nearly buzzing with anticipation. It wasn’t an official date, of course, but she hadn’t seen you since that night after the game, and truthfully, it felt like it had been too long.

She was early - as usual - but as she rounded the corner to the building, she bit back a smile upon seeing you waiting. You were always early too, which she appreciated.

“Hey.” Jessie greeted as she approached. Again, she had to tamp her smile when you beamed back at her.

“Hey, good to see you,” you said as you stepped in for a hug, which Jessie reciprocated. “I love your shirt,” you continued when you stepped back.

“Oh,” Jessie said with a slight frown and a mild laugh as she looked down at herself in question. “Thanks,” she said as she gave a shrug and fought off a blush. She looked you up and down, not entirely discretely. “I like your outfit.”

You rolled your eyes affectionately and gave her a look. “You don’t need to reciprocate my compliment. But thank you.”

“I legitimately like your outfit,” Jessie retorted, her pitch rising and pulling a laugh out of you as you both walked towards the building. Jessie took a few quick steps and grabbed the door, holding it open. “After you.”

“Such service. Thank you,” you said, both teasing and appreciative. Jessie didn’t wink, but she did give a teasing lift of her eyebrows as you passed.

As the instructor gave their directions for the lesson, Jessie found herself distracted, glancing at you out of the corner of her eye. The whole lesson carried on like that, really. Jessie had to make a point to not fall behind as she’d uncharacteristically lose concentration. The worst, well, best, moments being when she'd lean over feigning critical assessment of your work when really she just wanted to be close.

By the end, she was decently satisfied with the forest landscape she’d painted. However, she felt it paled in comparison to the ocean sunset you’d crafted.

“I love your colours. And the little cabin you added is great,” you told her as you were both leaving, canvases in hand.

“Well good,” she said as she got to a clearing on the sidewalk and stopped to turn to you. “Consider it my gift to you,” she went on as she held it out to you.

“Jessie,” you said sweetly with a smile as you took it and looked it over more thoroughly. “That’s really sweet. Thank you. It’s beautiful. And bonus - I get my Jessie Fleming signature, but on a far rarer painting as opposed to a jersey,” you laughed. “And what a coincidence. I painted this for you.”

Jessie looked at you for a moment before a smile broke out across her face as she belatedly took the painting you held out.

“Thank you,” she said softly as she studied the image. She frowned in realization as she lifted her eyes to you. “Is this the same beach from our photo?”

You nodded. “It is. Nice eye.”

“Who knew you were so sentimental?” Jessie teased.

“Apparently not you,” you replied with a roll of your eyes, but gave a small laugh. “Come on. It’s been a while, but you know me better than that.”

Jessie was quiet for a moment as she took you in. She eventually nodded. “I know.”

A small lull fell over you both before you asked. “So, what now? Do you have to leave?”

“No.” Jessie spoke quickly with a shake of her head. “I don’t have anywhere to be. How about you?”

You shook your head in return. “Same. Well, it’s beautiful out tonight. Want to just go for a walk? We can drop these off at my car first,” you proposed as you held up the painting.

“Sure. Sounds great.”

After a short detour, you both began your stroll along the quiet, tree-lined street.

“Thanks for suggesting that class,” you said. “I don’t really get to paint or pursue creative hobbies as much anymore. It was nice to make a point of it. I can’t imagine you have much of an opportunity to focus on things like that anymore, hm?”

Jessie sighed quietly in contemplation and gave a shrug.

“Not extensively, no. But we do lots of team building, so sometimes we’ll do artsy things. And I can do hobbies and such in my down time, whether during the week or between seasons.”

She looked over to see you giving her a soft smile.

“What?” She asked.

“Nothing really. Just kind of crazy how everything turned out. You’ve achieved so much and your life is so impressive.”

Jessie was about to interject with a compliment for you, but you carried on.

“Are you happy with how things turned out?” You asked with a slight cock of your head.

“I-um, yeah.” Jessie stammered slightly, caught off guard by your question. “I mean, yeah it’s been incredible. More amazing than I could’ve ever pictured. And I know I’m very lucky.”

“You’re not lucky, Jess. You’ve worked exceptionally hard.”

She huffed lightly. “Yes, but luck is involved too. Lots of people work hard and still don’t get half the opportunities I’ve had.”

“I suppose,” you relented. “But you’ve made the most of those opportunities and haven’t taken them for granted.”

“That’s true. But look at you. You’ve worked so hard. And I know what you’ve been up against, but you’ve risen above and built a great life for yourself,” Jessie emphasized.

“Thank you,” you accepted with a half smile. Jessie knew the ins and outs of your family dynamics - something few people truly knew. You smiled more fully at her. “And look at us now. We both left LA and then found ourselves in the same city again and got to reconnect,” you finished with a laugh. "It sounds strange, but it really feels like in some ways like no time has passed. Not really, anyway. Like you and I were able to pick up where we left off."

You let out a quick sigh, giving a deep shrug as you did so. Your eyes remained trained on the ground as you two walked. "I mean, we talked the other week about my family and it just felt so different. Like, I've told recent friends or girlfriends my history and everything, and they listen and they 'get it', but it's not the same. That conversation with you – via text, no less – had more depth and weight than any comparable conversation with my exes or current friends. You were there. You know it – and me, I guess - inside and out. And even if I retell things, it's just not the same." 

Jessie nodded, watching you. It did feel like yesterday when she was sitting next to you on your bed, sobs wracking your body after one confrontation too many with your family. Normally, Jessie was so analytical and tentative about her physical contact with you, but the second you started crying she put her arms around you without hesitation and you leaned in, resting your head on your shoulder as she held you. That was the first time, but it wasn't the last.  

Looking back on it, maybe your girlfriends did have good reason to dislike her. 

"I know what you mean," she told you. "It's different. I mean, it's the same with you in a lot of ways. You were there for me during some critical points – big decisions in my life and you understood who I was and who I wanted to be." 

You smiled at her fondly. You looked ready to say something and Jessie waited. A moment passed and you exhaled, saying, "It really meant a lot – having you in my life and the support you gave me back then. I hope you know that." 

"I know," Jessie accepted with a smile of her own. "And likewise." 

Her mind drifted. She should probably just leave things be, but not speaking her mind is what held her back all those years before. She needed to share her thoughts and feelings if things were going to be different this time. She took a breath.  

"You know, I was really shocked when we saw each other here." She paused briefly. "I don't know. We hadn't talked in so long. I think I'd relegated myself to assuming we'd never see each other or ever talk again. Despite how important we were to one another at some point." 

Her statement seemed to give you pause, the mild surprise evident on your face. You eventually glanced down at the street as you two continued to walk. 

"Yeah. That's true, I guess," you conceded, your voice soft. 

Jessie studied you, unsatisfied with the response you gave. She pushed.  

"I knew we wouldn't be able to stay as close as we were. That was inevitable with us living so far away from one another, but I don't think I expected contact to fall apart as quickly as it did." You didn't reply right away and she went on with an ironic laugh. "We went from talking all day every day, to a few times a week with a video call scattered in there, to the odd message every couple of weeks, then just texts on birthdays and at Christmas, to nothing at all." 

She wasn't sure what she was anticipating, but she didn't expect you to turn to her with a perplexed frown.  

"Yeah. It did taper off pretty quickly."  

Despite the time that'd passed, Jessie still knew when you were telling half-truths. She gave a bit of an empty chuckle. "What else are you thinking?" 

You returned her laugh with a mild look. "I don’t know. I'm just kind of confused, I suppose." Jessie frowned.  

"About what?" She questioned. Faint alarm bells went off in her head when you stopped walking. She stilled her movements as well and you turned to one another on the sidewalk.  

You took a moment to gather your thoughts. You spoke with a smile that didn't quite reach your eyes. 

"I know it was me who stopped replying right away to messages – I don't deny that – but you weren't exactly giving me a lot to work with." You took a breath, dropping your shoulders before you spoke further. "Honestly? It was kind of feeling one-sided. Yeah, you replied, but a lot of your replies were brief and noncommittal. And when I asked if everything was okay you just told me you were busy. Which," you let out a slightly rueful laugh, "is absolutely fair. You were building this brand new, big life. Which is exactly what you were supposed to do. I don't begrudge you at all. I don’t know." You shrugged and averted your gaze momentarily. "I guess things just started to feel off." 

Jessie exhaled quietly as she processed your reply. What you were saying wasn't false. It had been so long it was easy for Jessie to just recall the end result – that you'd stopped replying altogether. That you'd given up on her; on the connection you'd both built for years. 

Standing here now though, if she was honest with herself, it was true that Jessie grew distant in her messages - purposefully so - knowing it would drive you away. What was she supposed to do? You two were never going to be together. And being friends was so incredibly hard sometimes because it was never just friendship for her. There was always this bittersweet feeling to everything and now that you were on completely different paths, there was an inevitable conclusion. Yet, she struggled to cut herself off cold. So instead, she took the coward's way out.  

Jessie scratched the back of her head. "I was busy," she repeated. She contemplated doubling down, but thought better of it. "And I guess I was finding it hard. We were building two very different lives." 

There was so much more she wanted to say, but she couldn't. What would be the point? Her chest panged when you gave her a sad smile.  

"I know," you accepted with a sadness in your eyes. "And I really wanted that for you. I just - it was hard to not feel like a nuisance. Like some obligation. So I just stopped writing."

Jessie's frown deepened. She knew all those years ago that she had to be hurting you, but she could lie to herself about it and focus selfishly on herself. Seeing you talk about it in front of her wasn't something she'd anticipated.

"I didn't mean for that," Jessie said. "And I never stopped caring about you," she compromised. 

"Yeah. I never stopped caring about you, either," you reciprocated in a subdued manner. Despite her role in everything, Jessie was still harbouring hurt from all those years prior and she felt compelled to push on. Sure, she'd pushed you away, but you'd let her. She erased you from her life little by little, day by day and you allowed it.

"Funny how quickly things change sometimes," Jessie went on. She didn't mean to scoff, but she did. "You didn't even tell me when you and [y/ex] broke up. You didn't even tell me you were having problems."  

In years past, Jessie was your sounding board for all your girl troubles. She remembered it well – it was painful. Having to hear you either swoon or – more often – complain about your girlfriends. Hearing how they disappointed or frustrated you when Jessie knew she could love you better. Just thinking back to it stoked a fire in Jessie's chest again. While she had genuinely loved you and cared about your well-being, she'd vowed to never get stuck in that dynamic again.  

You cracked a smirk. "It just seemed frivolous to bother you with something like that at that point." 

Another pang in Jessie's chest. "Well," she kicked idly at the concrete beneath her, "I would've been there for you if you ever needed me. I hope you knew that." 

You sighed and gave a hollow laugh as you pushed your hair back, causing Jessie to get momentarily distracted by the way the rays from the street light hit your face.  

"I know," you said quietly before meeting her gaze. "And I hope you knew the same about me. I know you're surrounded by people who love you, but," you shrugged listlessly, "I'd be there for you, too." 

Before Jessie could respond you gave her another smirk. 

"Besides. Though you never said anything explicit, I know you didn't like her. And by the end I could see why, too. No point wasting any of our limited conversation talking about her." 

Jessie bit back a smirk, but knew her eyes betrayed her. "Well, I guess that's poetic. Your girlfriends never liked me and I never liked them." 

Despite the mounting tension in your conversation, you laughed and gave her a nod. Jessie didn't return your laugh though. She gave you a solemn look. 

"You always deserved better than them. I know some of them were just fine, some of them even good, but they didn't seem earnest enough and they didn't love you enough." 

You were taken aback by her sudden proclamation. You opened your mouth to speak, but couldn't find the words.  

Jessie never understood how they didn't worship the ground you walked on. She practically did, even if she didn't show it. While those girls showed they cared through superficial acts like a generic bouquet of flowers, Jessie listened. In many ways. It was obvious to Jessie that they didn't really get you – not the way she did. And if they were so in tune with you, then why was it her you came to when things were hard or you were scared or even hopeful. If she'd been your girlfriend, she would've given you everything you needed and more. They clearly didn't. 

You eventually gave a soft huff and offered Jessie a quiet smile. 

"You've always been very observant. And very thoughtful. I get it now. There's a reason I'm single now. I don't want to settle anymore," you told her. 

Jessie was quiet before giving a nod of acceptance.  

"I'm glad to hear that." 

You both started walking again, though neither of you spoke right away. There was still a heaviness in the air, but it felt different now; hopeful.  

"I'm sorry for how things ended," you said as she glanced over at Jessie as you two strolled through the quiet street. "You've always been really important to me – regardless of whether we were in contact or not. I don't want to say that I wish things had been different, because I really don't see the point in regretting anything, but I will say I'm very grateful that we've had this chance to reconnect and rebuild." You paused. "I've really missed you. I didn't realize how much." 

"I'm really sorry, too," Jessie said, a smile spreading across her face. "And I agree – we can't change the past, but I also appreciate the chance to be friends again. I've missed you, too." 

She swallowed as she contemplated whether to add more. The lull that naturally formed told her to forge ahead.

"And you were never a nuisance or an obligation. I'm really sorry it came across that way."

"Awww, Jessie," you said in a teasing voice, lifting your conversation up again. You paused your steps and Jessie stopped and turned to you in question. "Come on," you beckoned as you waved her over and brought out your phone. "We need a new photo together." 

Jessie didn't fight it. Instead, she smiled at you and walked over to stand next to you. You leaned into her and Jessie found her hand naturally gravitated to your waist. It rest there before Jessie could even realize it, but before she could fret, you looked back at her with a smile before facing forward again. 

You took the photo and immediately opened up your messages with Jessie to send it to her. Jessie belatedly realized her hand was still on you and she pulled it back, holding her hands behind her. 

"There," you announced. "Now we can start rebuilding our collection. Portland memories – not just UCLA anymore." 

Jessie laughed and held up her phone, pointing the camera at you. 

"No, come on," you whined immediately and she laughed further.  

"Hey, this is part of the deal," she countered. You huffed, but eventually smiled for her. "Just remember. This goes both ways. I get new photos of you, too." 

She found herself giving you a wink. "I'll allow it."  

A/N: Part Four is available here.

[wannaeatramyeon]

Could you do relationship headcanons for our big deal boys Jerry and Brad (and Jason and Lineman too if you want) 👉👈 Or maybe them eating dinner with reader for the first time in a while and realizing how much they miss reader?

Hi Anon! Thanks for requesting :) I can't believe I haven't done more boyfriend/relationship hc?! This has been sitting in my drafts forever and soooorta is what you asked for.

Lookism guys as YOUR boyfriend hc

Uhhh almost everyone here (Brad, Jason, Lineman, Jerry, Jake, Sinu, Daniel, Jay, Vasco, Jace, Zack, Vin, Goo, Johan, Eli, Warren, DG, Samuel, Xiaolong, Ryuhei, Eugene, Jihan, Jibeom, Hudson + crumb for Hangyul, Taejin)

Brad Lee

Happy go lucky most of the time. Brad will make you smile and laugh, your best friend as well as your boyfriend. Don't be fooled, just because he can be silly doesn't mean he doesn't take this relationship seriously. Sincere and committed, will do what he needs to make you and him work. A girlfriend privilege, or chore if you're being honest, is constantly shaving his head. If he pisses you off? Shave a stripe down the middle and hide the razor.

Jason Yoon

Self professed as not that great with words, and can be a little standoffish but worships the ground you walk on. Loyal to a fault, and waits on you hand and foot. He's not the most physically affectionate but anticipates your every need, doing things for you before you even realise you wanted them. Self-sacrificing with Big Deal and as your boyfriend. Make sure his needs are taken care of, he deserves it!

Lineman

Listen, this guy bullshits a lot. He's full of bravado and confidence but he is surprisingly earnest when it comes to you. Everything may be exaggerated and said flippantly, but Lineman does think you're the most beautiful, the smartest, the absolute best. No competition. Completely fearless with anything you throw at him. Whether that's something adventurous in the bedroom or a life plan 10 years in the future.

Jerry Kwon

If he is Jake's sword, then he is your shield. Most of the time he barely needs to do anything, just being with him makes sure thugs and troublemakers will stay away. Nevertheless, protects you from danger and cuddling with Jerry will melt all your stress away. Loves you as much as he respects Jake. Which is a whole frickin' lot. Probably more than you would ever know. A big teddy bear, and can be shy - needing you to make the first moves or read his moods.

Jake Kim

You've done it. You've reached the peak. Maximum good times, minimum mental breakdowns. He is stable, a great caregiver and maybe the funniest person you will ever meet, or at least he likes to think so. Does tend to prioritise Big Deal over your relationship and being his girlfriend. You need to be very understanding. Shame he spends a lot of time away from you dealing with the crew but he more than makes up for it with kisses and cuddles and attention (where he can spare it).

Sinu Han

Who do you think taught Jake how to respect women? Gapryong? Nah. It's this girlboss. Didn't used to have much time nor money as Big Deal boss. Now at least he has lots of time and will make sure you are top prority. Literally got yourself a whole househusband. He has nothing better to do than look after you. When you're apart, loves making and sending little videos of himself to you to cheer you up. And it's not hard once you see his beaming bright smile.

Daniel Park

Very sweet, Zack might have stole his first kiss but he wants you to be the first for everything else! His obliviousness to all the girls hitting on him would piss you off though. Once you've spoken to him and he realises, he'll apologise profusely and makes sure it's very clear that he's taken. "Yes, I've got a girlfriend. Yes, I'm very happy. Please I'm not interested!" Very easy for you to make him blush. He might have heard a lot of flattery, but just tell him how cute he looks today and he will flush bright red.

Jay Hong

Are you ready to be spoiled? Have all your whims fulfilled? This man will literally go to the moon and back for you, and he could pay for it to. Loves spoiling you, shopping with you is one of his favourite pastimes but enjoys spending time with you even if it's chilling with the pups. Writes you little messages and notes for you to find throughout the day. Very sentimental and keeps a memento of pretty much everything. Apart from having cash for days, other major girlfriend privileges include seeing his eyes and riding around on his motorbike. Which is pretty sexy, not gonna lie.

Vasco Tabasco

This cinnamon roll!! What else is there to say about him! He's innocent and naive and doesn't really know how to be the best boyfriend but he's so eager to learn and to make you happy. Make a big deal out of every milestone and anniversary. Looks forward to big occasions like meeting the parents until the actual day comes and he almost passes out from nervousness. Being with the head of Burn Knuckles means you've automatically adopted the rest of the gang too. Watch out for your sanity.

Jace Park

Goes a bit too hard on the romance front, but unfortunately picked most of it up from kdrama or romance novels. Imagine his surprise when after your first fight you actually did want space and wasn't pleased when he turned up on your doorstep. Kind hearted and good intentioned. He's dotes on you and a great listener. Insufferable to the rest of Burn Knuckles as he won't shut up about you. Once he's with you, he is WITH you. He may be 'married to Burn Knuckles', but in a relationship, you two are as good as married. And yes, he is the best househusband. Obviously.

Zack Lee

BIG softie. Clingy, a little obsessive but He. Loves. You. We've seen how he is with Mira. Being in a reciprocal relationship with someone would turn that up to ELEVEN. He will always always try his best, and gets a little insecure and sad if he lets you down but to you it doesn't matter. Seeing his effort is enough and you make sure to let him know. Will walk to the ends of the earth for you, you barely even have to ask. Also will deny he's a simp to everyone as they look on at him incredulously. Seriously? It's the most obvious frigging thing!

Vin Jin

Oh my god this guy. He will play his music for you at ANY opportunity. It's a good job you love him, otherwise you would need to jam some chopsticks in your ears. You can't help but be charmed though seeing him doing what he loves, so you take up the role as his number 1 fan. Plays it cool but he is very clingy. Probably text you with 'wyd' and if you don't respond in the next 10 mins, expect a barrage of messages. And if you're busy and haven't seen him for a day or 2? He's on your doorstep: "Here I got you a gift. Me."

Gun Park

He's a surprisingly good partner. He doesn't like wasting time and least of all his own so he knows already you're a good fit with him. The fact that he agreed to be your partner means that he already holds you in exceptionally high regard and cares about you a great deal. Still a walking red flag though. Especially cold and callous when he's had a bad day or you ask him about something he doesn't want to answer. You can go hours or even days not talking after your fights until he finally asks if you can hear him out. He's not stupid. He knows the way he reacts isn't how you should treat a partner and promises to keep working on it

Goo Kim

A rollercoaster ride of a boyfriend. In an established relationship, he can be exceptionally clingy. You better be patient and on the same wavelength as him or you're going to have a bad time. Your nights together can flit from watching anime to light arson in the blink of an eye. At least you can't say he's boring. Soft in his own way for you, and spoils you with your demands and requests, and his money! Really does let you get away with a little too much.

Johan Seong

He was shocked when he realised he cared more about you than Eden and Miro. You were too, you know what they mean to him... And now what you mean to him too. A little feral and not the best at expressing himself but if you have the patience to support him then he'll have the patience to try. Do not offer to share food with this man. Not a bite, no snacks, nothing. He would take advantage. The definition of give him an inch and he'll take a mile. Leave your plate unattended, and the food will be gone the moment you're back. Eden and Miro will get the blame.

Eli Jang

Hope you're ready for 2 cuties in your life because Eli and Yenna are a package deal. Eli never thought he would get the fairytale happy family but with you it's actually happening. He loves planning family dates and seeing you and Yenna together. He's already carved out a future for you and him otherwise he wouldn't encourage you and Yenna to bond.

Warren Chae

Absolutely adores telling you he loves you. With you the words flow, and so do the compliments. In his quieter moments, you catch him staring at you a lot until hegrabs your hand and gives you three squeezes instead. I. Love. You. Privately, renames himself from 'Gangdong's Mighty Warren Chae' to 'Y/N's Mighty Warren Chae'. Super silly, but it makes you giggle everytime. He means it though. Will look after you any way he can.

DG

Keeps you out of the spotlight. Please don't be insecure, it's not that he doesn't want to be seen with you - he's just protecting you from public scrutiny and his horde of fans. Generally cool and aloof but with you he can be surprisingly soft and romantic. Truly a k-pop idol capturing the heart of millions. You will become his biggest stan, and he would find that equal parts amusing and endearing. As long you are kept a secret, he will tell the media he has a special someone, someone that really knows him. Makes you and the general public melt everytime he is heard talking about you.

Samuel Seo

Aw Sammy. He just wants some praise and love and you readily offer it to him. Puts up a lot of walls at first before seeing that you don't care who he is or where he's from and love him for him. Definitely one to wait for you to say I love you and fall first before he could reciprocate. He needs to make sure this is real and you are real. Sometimes though, the moment just feels too right for him to keep his feelings to himself... Spends obscene amounts on you to try and impress you. It doesn't. Not really. Ok maybe a little bit.

Xiaolong

One to go to extremes to please the one he loves. Old example: Vivi. Please see updated example: You. There is nothing he will not do for you. To the point that it terrifies you a bit and you need to calm him down. "No, if you don't actually want to go on an ice cream run at 3am that's completely fine! I was only joking about punching my boss, please don't do it!!" Hope you're ready for an unconventional sex life because this man will do what he can to satisfy you, penislessly

Ryuhei Kuroda

Theres a long list of simps in Lookism and he's close to the top of the list. Hes an avid texter but since he likes to follow you everywhere, you wouldn't know. Despite how much of a shit he can be, genuinely respects you and thinks the world of you. Will happily and without hesitation sock anyone that says a bad word about you. Unlike Xiaolong, all in working order downstairs since you met. You have no issues getting him to stand to attention. Have fun!

Eugene

A bit of an absentee boyfriend. He has a lot on his plate. He never regret his position or what he's achieved until you started dating, and now he wishes you could spend more time together. When he's with you though, he's WITH you. You have his full attention. He even turns his phone off. His assistants know that they can't reach him when he's with you. Building burning down? Nope. Don't care.

Jihan Kwak

You thought he was a troublemaker at first. And you would be right. He can run rings around you, teasing and a little mean, the cause of many headaches. All the words are meant with love though. Just look at the way he looks at you as he calls you an idiot. This guy is impossibly soft for you. Make sure you don't let him get away with too much though. As the youngest and spoilt, he can be bratty and a little inconsiderate. He's no fool. Tell him and he will adjust his behaviour.

Jibeom Kwak

There's something so fun about stealing the clothes from your teddy-bear boyfriend. So what if his taste is terrible and ugly as hell. Seeing you in his t-shirt or shorts or even boxers will absolutely break his brain. A little dense, but very trusting - bit like our other cinnamonroll, Vasco. Always well-intentioned, but you may need to be explicit with him. Don't worry, he's a quick learner. Loves you an awful lot and has no problem telling the whole world, even if that means teasing from his brothers.

Hudson Ahn

There's two very people that are at the tippity top of Hudson's list. Taesoo, and you. Your boyfriend is your sun. Quiet and a little stoic, watching you with an intensity and a little smile on his face that takes your breath away. Especially when he's usually cold and reserved with most people, the fact that you can make him look like that just being in your presence? The BEST. Blessed with one of the better asses in Lookism that even Heat Daniel couldn't resist. Always rolls his eyes whenever you grope him, you not being able to resist a quick squeeze even as you walk by, but he could never tell you no.

Hangyul Baek (here's a crumb)

Looks at you a lot with a smile on his face. Which is sweet you suppose, if he wasn't a plastic surgeon and scrutinishing faces and bodies all day. And then he calls you beautiful. A true beauty. And you preen, happy with the compliment.. until. Hold on. What exactly does he mean?!

Taejin Cheon (here's a crumb)

Wew, this guy is flashy. Which is great if that's your thing. Will likely get you kitted out in all sorts of designer brands, even more so than Samuel Seo. Despite not shown as having any tattoos, has the vibe that he would get your name tattooed on his neck. If you break up? Will just get a line put through it lol.

[mdhwrites]

"In the first episode, Luz brings wild animals and fireworks to school without permission or without any regard to safety."

Isn't that just a case of Early-Installment Weirdness?

Boy there are so many problems with accusing this of that. See, Early-Installment Weirdness IS a thing. In TOH, one of the best examples of that is how in the same episode that Amity goes "I've never seen a spell like that cast before" you also have the power glyph. A famous one from another cartoon is how Andrea of Molly McGee starts as an EXTREME bitch but quickly shifts to more so being unaware and selfish, rather than actively malicious. Hell, I know one of my own series has it where I have a transmuter in the first chapter change pancakes into a pot of flowers which I made WAY too casual for the amount of energy shifting to something living should take.

A common thread between all of these though are that they don't show back up. Andrea's characterization becomes consistent AFTER the shift to it and she never goes back to being as bad as she was in her first appearance. The power glyph is never mentioned again, MAYBE visually it's seen like once on the coven head but glyph magic is just Luz's. And yeah, my own story sticks to its power costs better afterwards. That is the biggest sign of Early-Installment Weirdness because in the long run you can see that these elements were dropped because they were incongruent with the actual goals of the show.

But do you know what does keep appearing? This characterization of Luz. S1 is filled with times when Luz will disregard other people's feelings, fuck something up because of it and then have to make amends. Episode fucking two reinforces the idea that she treats the world as fantasy. Yesterday's Lie actually HINGES on the idea that Luz is actually selfish and uncaring of those around her because she could not appreciate what she had and that she had to be special. This is what Vee calls her out on. It's also why, in the blog you're referencing with this, I bring up how in S3 she has a dilemma where a decision that she made on her own blew up in her face. In response to that, instead of thinking ANYONE else should comment on it, she makes a drastic, big deal decision... That also gets her out scott free from all consequences which is exactly what she did when she ran to the Isles. I'm not even exaggerating. In episode 1, Luz decides to stick to the Isles because otherwise she has to go to a camp she doesn't want to where she'll actually have to put in the effort to improve as a person and respect reality so she sticks to her fantasy world. In S3 Episode 1, she decides to abandon AN ENTIRE WORLD to their fate, that she believes is her fault, so that she can stay at home and live with her caring mother and new sister while she will also send her friends to ostensibly their deaths because of how big of a deal this is. And like in that blog, S3 E2 only reinforces the idea that Luz only cares about what is important to Luz when her goal on the Isles is not beating the Collector, she says that to everyone who doesn't know the truth, but instead to find Eda and King, make sure they're safe, and leave. She tells that to her mom, the only person who knows already she doesn't give a fuck about this place.

That's also without bringing up btw the signs that reference her early montage that appear in S3 E1, meaning the show wants you to remember it, especially when Luz sighs at the sign. It is NOT an element that is just one and done and a whoops on the writer's part. It is the first action in a long, LONG line of selfish, unthinking, uncaring actions for our 'protagonist'.

Our protagonist who is told that she has never, ever, done anything wrong. That's abhorrent. See you next tale.

======+++++======

I have a public Discord for any and all who want to join!

I also have an Amazon page for all of my original works in various forms of character focused romances from cute, teenage romance to erotica series of my past. I have an Ao3 for my fanfiction projects as well if that catches your fancy instead. If you want to hang out with me, I stream from time to time and love to chat with chat.

A Twitter you can follow too

And a Kofi if you like what I do and want to help out with the fact that disability doesn’t pay much.

[randomizer971]

Wakfu The Geat Wave : Chapter 18

Spoilers ahead.

Seriously, look at what Rasalar and Julith did to my boy ! Yugo looks like death warmed over.

I'll never forgive them. Just like I'll never forgive the writers for what they did to Amalia and Eva from Season 3 onward ! On my boy Armand, I'll never forgive, I'll never forget !

I'm saying all this but you know I'm collecting those Yumalia crums like the precious gems they are! 💙💚💙💚

In this chapter, Joris and his two unexpected guests reach the library. The view is breathtaking. So many details were put into drawing those few panels. It feels like a world in and out of itself and it's alive !

The bat-books were a nice touch and so was this little book!

Joris looks so proud to show off his secret archive. I love how expressive he is in this comic. The last few Seasons of Wakfu left no place for a more nuanced Joris. It is nice to see him showing more of his personality instead of the eternal "austere guy on a mission".

Oh, no...

I know where this is going and I don't like it!

[that scene from Wakfu Season 3]

No fanservice, I'm begging you !!

Breath in "ecchi fanservice hater" : Thank Sadida! Crisis adverted ! Nobody got stuck or-

Come on, Amy! You guys are trying to save the world!

😂😂 Amalia is so unserious! I love her! Wait...Maybe Yugo's wet dream wasn't exaggerating about Amalia's "big appetite" (see Ch1). Ok, I'll see myself out.

Anyway, the trio has now entered Joris' man cave. Most importantly, who is this lovely woman in the portrait? She looks like a Cra. Since this is Joris' secret room, she might have been important to him and/or had an impact on Joris' life, for her to be there alongside a portrait of Grougalorasalar.

Even Khan Karkass, the star gobbowl player from Joris' youth, is there as a small statue.

Time for a walk down memory lane with Master Joris Jorgen. Amalia and Yugo finally unlocked Joris' tragic backstory. It only took them almost 10 years and 3 averted apocalypses.

With Joris growing his found family, revealing his origins and being so expressive, it feels like he is raising death flags left and right. I'm scared for him.

I know Joris appears in Waven but I don't wish him more trauma or grief, especially with his undead mom and Rasalar causing trouble.

By the way, idc about that Asalar nonsense! Let it be known that, in this house, Grougalorasalar is and always will be Rasalar the Mewing Reptile! 🗿🦎

All in all, chapter 18 was a good bridge to the main plot. The small moments of levity didn't feel too forced. The new "universe" (the library) deserved the awe from both the characters and the readers. For a few panels, I was sent back to the time Wakfu the animated series was introducing new places filled with wonders and adventures for the heroes and the viewers to enjoy.

Joris' origins are finally out in the open. It was long overdue, given that the Brotherhood had to deal with the Primordial dragons back during the Special episodes "The Quest for the Six Dofus Eliatropes".

The chapter was nice but there is nothing to learn from it, except for people who are totally new to the fandom, of course.

The lore from both Dofus and Wakfu, even with its conflicted information and many retconnings, already told of Joris' peculiar life, his link with the Ebony Dofus and its dragon, as well as the stories about the Primordial dragons, including Grougalorasalar. This chapter felt like a repeat on this regard.

Hopefully, Joris will soon give his friends more intel on their new foes and how to defeat them because time is running out : Rasalar's ultimatum draws near.

Chapter 19 will be out on 14 March 2025.

---

Only a few days left until 12 March 2025 ! Link to the Kickstarter for Wakfu Season 5 HERE or copy this link : http://kck.st/41aL7R8

[mearyvet]

MASTERMIND SPOILERS

Rewatched this Masterpiece several times already. Though it felt truly bombastic and huge - witch by all means it IS - I feel like I'm gonna explode if not bring some crucial moments that tormenting me and forcing to dove deeper:

1) trial by jury or not. Okay, you called the rank of Gonetia - it makes sense (although, even for the semblance of a jury trial, it’s a little shameful that the only one who cast a vote was Vasago).

But why. In the Hell. Calling whole crew of Sins?) *exeot of Luci of cource* Am I the only one who finds it a liiitle too much exaggerated ? Like... what's the point?... Maybe the motive of Threat to all of Hell & fear of living realm to discover actual afterlife is real an' shit. But you know what?)) They failed to convince me this is suuuuch a big deal😁.

Except of Ozzie and Bee (ok, Mam, you too) all others went silent whole session. They not so much as even pretended to care. And maybe this is even understandable: itst not like there were signs Rings other then Pride were much involved since the clients of IMP is earthborn sinners.

So..what the actual hell ?

2) Evidence?...

Hear me out. I understand that "this is Hell and noone fuckin' cares" but just think about it: Andrie calling up whole ass court hearing to a court hearing in order to accuse of theft, illegal unregistered activity and ATTEMPTED MURDER, based ONLY on the words of the interested, relative to himself person. PLUS NOT SINGLE BIT LOW KEY ABOUT HIDING YOUR MATERIAL INTEREST AT ALL.😳🤯

And Satan never ONCE pointed to hear words of the one , who appears ACTUAL VICTIME. Like... my ass this is CRAZY

And its not like there weren't SURFACE THINGS that couldn't be brought out: Ozmodeum Crystal for example!!! How did Blitz got it? By who? Why?... For real, there were so many opportunities to get Ozzie involved and make things even more tense.

IT WAS WILD TO ME HOW WHOLE COURT WENT BY, SRSLY

3)

I guess after these statements and formulations all further questions about fair trial, evidence and all this crap can be omitted🔥🫣

Blitz is right - that red bitch didn't plan to hear imps out in the first place. Highlighting power imbalance at its peak was the core of this episode for me. This trope only got juccier after "Ghostf**kers" Bloody Hell...

4) What about I.M.P. future? At the end of episode we witness Blitz's triumph but we never heard any punishment lended on crew for their actions. After Stolas got all punishment on himself everybody moved on and alike forgotten about still illegal business. No one took them under any control, did not take Crystal away in order to stop subsequent attempts to do business, did not even fine Blitz!

And don't get me wrong I'm glad that everything worked out pretty for crew, but it's just high level of fairytale, guys🤨💗

5) Plus what do you think will happen in the lowest circles of Hell society now that ipms has witnessed they actualy have opportunity to try rise above the system.

Like, yea, you tried to show who's boss man here. But in reality, I feel if he actualy killed Blitz, Satan would most likely end up with rebelion on his hands . Here's why;)

And after this statement he finally coolers his brain enough to cut himself down here

Aloso CRAZY REVELATION that explains a hell out of our characters behaviour. Imps were CREATED to be OBEDIENT 👀🔥 (furthermore excuses to kill the one who "broke the code, but what do I know😏)

Well... I suppose here I shouldn't be that shocked, it was kinda expected. But regardless - Jesus Christ, guys🤯

** little "saint-demon" on Satan's shoulder appreciation moment, because guy freaking NEEDS one😆🙏**

____________________

Overall I hope noone would yeal at me for thus criticism, these moments did not ruined my experience with the episode at all. I simply kinda feeling nerdy-ish now and I find it interesting to outloud different minor inaccuracies here. There's SO MUCH to unpack in Hellaverse and I can't wait to get for know more! And when show failed at some points to explain some things to me it catches my eye..

Plus, there is already tons of appreciation posts here and there)) Little analytical salt booming would not hurt🥰

[sirfrogsworth]

Froggie's (Almost) Very Productive Day

I try to fit as many out-and-about chores as possible into a single day so I only have one set of post-exertional malaise consequences instead of consequences after each day of doing a thing. So any time I decide to drive, I try to find several tasks to accomplish all at once.

My first stop was the Family Services Division in the hopes of getting some help with grocery bills. I am making ends meet, but it seems to be getting harder each month. And maybe I could have skipped my trip to Florida and saved that money, but if I don't do something drastic for my mental health, I fear this first holiday season without a parent could send me into the darkness.

I needed to do an interview to finish applying for SNAP. I wanted to do a phone interview, but the next appointment was in January. So I went to social services where they allow walk-in appointments. I waited in a tiny plastic chair for several hours until they called my name. She yelled out "Benjamin" because when most people see "Grelle" they aren't really sure how to say it. (Rhymes with belly.)

She started my interview and it was going swimmingly at first. But then she started asking questions about the house and my inheritance and my trust. I had no idea what to tell her. It feels like a mistake now, but I have had pretty much no involvement in that process. I have no idea how it works. And I started to panic because she was acting like I was committing fraud or something by not mentioning the trust. But the entire point of the trust was to protect my benefits. Nothing is mine. I own nothing. I have no access. But I had no idea how to explain that.

Maybe my lawyer can help me apply, but I did not want them investigating everything and screwing things up before we even have the estate through probate. We specifically hired a lawyer and went through this convoluted process to make sure everything was on the up and up. But she really made me feel like I was doing something wrong. And that made me panic, which probably made me look even more guilty of something. So I just canceled everything and left.

After a few hours in a crowded government office, I decided to head to a different crowded government office.

I know I didn't need it until 2025, but I decided to go ahead and get my Real ID thingie before my first flight. I was kind of hoping they'd retake my picture because my current driver's license is... well...

And I'm so glad they took my big terrible picture and made it into a smaller, more terrible picture.

People complain about the DMV, but the one near me runs like a machine. It was filled with people and I still only had a 10 minute wait time.

I'm starting to wonder if all of those 80s comedians who were all, "What's the deal with the DMV?" were exaggerating.

Good stuff, Jerry.

I head up to the counter and ask for a Real ID. She asks for two pieces of mail and my birth certificate.

And this disappointed me a little bit.

I did my research. I went to the Real ID website and used their interactive guide to figure out exactly which documents I would need. They gave me this entire checklist and I printed it out and went through all my records and mail trying to find everything.

I had to wait a week for my internet bill to come because it's the only thing I forgot to change to paperless. This took a lot of effort and I was ready to be validated for being so prepared.

And she asks for two pieces of mail.

Any mail.

So I was off to get new tires.

Driving around on 8 year old bald tires was giving me anxiety. I didn't have the money for new tires, but I remember the guy saying they had financing. Recently several of my past debts went past the statute of limitations, and so my credit score lifted itself out of the pits of "poor" and into the realm of "fair." So I decided to take a chance and apply for a Discount Tire credit card. It's a 6 month payment plan with no interest, so that didn't feel as predatory as all the credit card offers I get in the mail with 8000% interest.

We started going through the approval process and I was answering all of the questions and then I saw the name of the bank offering the credit. It was the same bank that tried to sue me and also the bank that can longer collect due to the statute. I was worried they put me on some sort of list and would deny me. But, to my surprise, they approved me instantly. And wouldn't you know it, they gave me almost exactly the amount needed for a new set of tires.

I'm hoping we'll be doing another auction of the house stuff soon, so I plan to pay off the card and then cancel it, but this was the only solution I could come up with to drive safely until then.

I was having a weird day where photos of crusty rich wide dudes followed me everywhere I went. Here is my good ol' boy governor at the entrance to social services.

And at the tire place, I noticed this fella...

Why does every rich CEO think they are a font of wisdom capable of creating compelling quotes?

Does he think no one has ever said "work hard" and "have fun"? And after he said this was he like...

"That's gold, put that in *every* store."

"Oh, and use that picture of me where it looks like a handsome gal just grabbed my undercarriage."

He probably thinks, "Well, no one has put these specific generic platitudes together into a single mega-platitude. I am a genius."

"Be honest, work hard, have fun, be grateful, pay it forward" sounds like he had a bunch of motivational posters on his wall and started reading them all at once.

Like, every line could have a picture of an eagle above it.

In any case, the guy at the tire store, Dakota, was really nice. He made the experience very low anxiety. And he really liked my Thor's Hammer keychain with built in fidget spinner.

He went around showing it to all his coworkers. "Look, it even spins!" And they were like, "Dude, where did you get that??" And I was like, "Amazon." Now I'm just imagining 10 dudes at a tire store all fidgeting their hammers.

As nice as he was, Dakota was still a salesman and had a job to do. He gave me two tire options and tried to upsell me. The cheapest tires had a "1" rating for winter. He said they get "super hard" in the cold... I tried not to giggle. But I explained I drive about twice a month and mostly to the grocery store. If it is a bad winter day, I'll just wait or get delivery. He understood and set me up with the cheaper tires.

He then checked out my car and noticed my tire pressure sensors were dying. I keep getting a warning light on my dash. Apparently they all have tiny batteries in them that die after 7 years. And you can't just replace the batteries so you have to install brand new sensors.

And this is where my social anxiety got me into trouble.

I don't actually need these sensors. They are usually inaccurate. I prefer to test my tires with an actual gauge. But I got so caught up in his sales pitch that I agreed to replace them... at $60 each. For that I could have gotten the fancier tires. I really don't care if an orange light shows up on my dash. And I looked up the price online and a pack of 4 is $30. Though that is without installation.

But still... I wasn't thinking and he was so nice that I was just like, "I want to please Dakota. Saying no might make Dakota sad." Dakota's job is selling me but that doesn't mean I have to buy anything. He would live if I had said "no thanks."

To make my blunder more blunderous, when they finished the tires he asked for my key fob. And it decided that was the time for the battery to die. And in order to reset the system for the new tire pressure sensors, you have to press two buttons on the fob for 7 seconds. Thankfully I had a spare fob at home, but if I want my fancy new $240 sensors to work, I have to return to Dakota and have him initialize them.

I really hope these are the Cadillac of sensors.

Or, like, the ones they use on Cadillacs?

They better be accurate, is what I'm saying.

I do feel safer with new tires. So I am glad I did that. And I gave them a good obligatory kick and felt the tread. They seem nice enough even if they get boners in the winter. It's crazy how bald my other tires were in comparison. Like, I can fit half my finger down into the tread on the new ones—which did not get them super hard.

The way I drive, I probably won't wear them down. They'll probably start to rot before I do.

Before I do, meaning before I wear them down.

Not before I rot.

I am not in a rotting competition with my tires.

I was then off to Sam's. I decided all of my hard work accomplishing 2 out of 3 goals deserved some sushi. So I grabbed some California Rolls and headed home. On my way out, a Hummer and a Porsche nearly collided in the parking lot. And they sort of got stuck facing each other. One of them needed to back up and they both signaled at each other like "You back up, I'm not backing up." And it was just this weird standoff between the two douchiest looking cars you could imagine.

I mean, you have to be a douche to drive a Hummer.

I still remember the mystery Hummer dialysis patient from when my dad was going 3 time per week. We could never figure out who owned the Hummer, but we knew it was not the underpaid nurses and techs. So it had to be one of the patients. And none of them seemed the type. We never solved that mystery.

That hummer started off a delightful safety yellow. (Elon would cry.)

They decided this wasn't extra enough... so they did this...

Katrina and I could never decide... are these cow spots or the world's least effective camoflauge?

There was another patient who drove this old beater...

And I loved seeing this car because we had the same one when I was a little kid. I'm afraid the aesthetics of the 1980s Caprice Classic did not stand the test of time, but it had great sentimental appeal for me.

But this maroon beast that squeaked and sputtered its way from here to there belonged to a very sweet older gentleman. Sometimes he and my dad would be dialysis buddies—sitting next to each other in the recliners. And the worst thing about dialysis was the boredom. All you have to do is watch broadcast TV with 4 channels.

All of the TVs require headphones. They give you your own set of super cheap headphones in the dialysis welcome bag. They were very uncomfortable so I ordered my dad better ones with cushioned ear cups.

His dialysis buddy noticed them and thought they looked nice. And then he revealed that his free headphones broke and he didn't know how to get new ones. He had been watching TV with no sound for weeks. So, I bought another pair with the soft ear cups and my dad gave them to his friend. And it just made me happy imagining the two of them watching The Price is Right in matching headphones.

I do have to make fun of this sweet old man a little bit. When I walked passed his car I noticed he implemented the world's most effective anti-theft device ever created.

That's right... The Club™.

If someone decides they have to have a 40 year old car with an engine that sounds like a dying hyena and a hubcap missing... they are out of luck.

But hey, you gotta protect what is important to you. And if I needed a getaway car and my choices were between his beater and the Cow Hummer, I'd take his ride for sure.

Well, I'd try... and then get arrested because The Club™ is undefeatable.

Do NOT look that up on YouTube. It's 100% true. (And the Lock Picking Lawyer doesn't count due to him being able to break into Fort Knox with a paperclip and then doing it again to make sure it isn't a fluke.)

The dialysis center is in the same complex as my local Tolerable Schnucks and I still see that maroon boat of a car every once in a while. I always smile whenever it is there because it lets me know he is hanging in there and hopefully still has sound for his TV.

Wow, I went off on a mega-tangent.

I didn't even finish talking about my day. Where was I? Oh, the douche standoff finally ended. The Porsche Douche capitulated and backed up. Probably due to the fact the Hummer Douche has 0 visibility behind him.

When I got home I started devouring my sushi. I finally heard back from my lawyer. He submitted the last of the evidence for my appeal. And I was finally able to confirm he got the records of my ECT treatments from 20 years ago. I worked so hard to get those. At first, they forgot to send all records before 2011. I had to call back and figure that out. They shipped them and they didn't arrive until a week before we had to file. Everything was so last minute and my anxiety has been... palpable. It felt like when I did my science fair project on Sunday night.

He's hoping to get a decision at the beginning of next year. He warned me that these appeals are usually rejected. And that the most effective method of approval was a hearing in front of an administrative law judge. But that could be delayed by up to a year. So I might need to figure out how to survive until 2025. As long as my brother does what he is legally required to do, I should be okay. But counting on that also gives me palpable anxiety.

And that was my day.

Every time I go out is always an adventure.

But remember...

BE NICE. EAT YOUR VEGGIES. PET CUTE DOGS. DREAM BIG. KEEP YOUR TIRES WARM... FOR REASONS. 5 LIFE LESSONS -Froggie, Mildly Famous Internet Person

[peavhyshy]

⋆˚ 𝜗𝜚˚⋆ - PEPPERS

ᯓᡣ𐭩 pairing ─ ୨୧ ─ JJ Maybank ⋆ Reader

ᯓᡣ𐭩 summary ─ ୨୧ ─ in which you keep JJ company while he recovers from COVID-19, playing nurse and cuddling up to take care of him.

ᯓᡣ𐭩 warnings ─ ୨୧ ─ covid-19, sexually suggestive comments, fluff, some angst?, mild language, mention of JJ's dad, JJ kisses reader even though he has COVID, obviously you shouldn't kiss someone if you have covid but this based on that one Lana Del Rey lyric

ᯓᡣ𐭩 wc ─ ୨୧ ─ 1,424

𓏲ּ ᥫ᭡ ₊ ⊹ ˑ ִ ֶ 𓂃Peppers࣪ 𓏲ּ ᥫ᭡ ₊ ⊹ ˑ ִ ֶ 𓂃

(༝༚༝༚ lana del rey)

─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ── Outer Banks Masterlist ─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ── Navigation ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆

You knocked on the screen door of the worn-down beach house, peering inside for any signs of life. "JJ?" you called out.

A round of violent coughing echoed from down the hall followed by a raspy voice. "In here!"

You let yourself in, wrinkling your nose at the lingering scent of beer and cigarettes that permeated the Maybank home. You found JJ curled up on the couch, wrapped in a tattered blanket. His nose was red, his blond hair a tangled mess. Used tissues littered the coffee table in front of him.

"You look like death," you said, plopping down on the couch next to him.

JJ cracked a smile. "Thanks, that makes me feel so much better." His voice was hoarse.

You playfully hit his arm. "You know what I mean. How are you feeling?"

"Oh, just dandy," JJ said. "Peachy keen." He erupted into another fit of coughing.

You grabbed a half-empty glass of water from the table and handed it to him. "Here, drink this."

JJ took a few sips to soothe his throat. "So I'm guessing you got my text about testing positive for the 'rona?"

"Yup, got it this morning," You said. As you absentmindedly pushed JJ's hair back from his sweaty forehead to feel his temperature.

"And you still came over?" JJ asked in disbelief. "I'm like super contagious right now."

You shrugged. "What can I say? I'm a ride or die. Gotta make sure you're okay."

JJ grinned and pulled you in for a big sloppy kiss. You squealed and pushed him away.

"Ew JJ! What the hell?" You dramatically wiped your mouth.

"Hey, you're the one who came to see me, COVID cooties and all," JJ said with a laugh that turned into a cough. "Might as well seal the deal and swap some germs."

You rolled your eyes but couldn't help smiling. "You're disgusting." you tossed him the TV remote. "Now pick something to watch while I make you some soup or something. We'll ride out this quarantine together."

JJ clicked on the TV, settling back into the couch. "You know, you really are the best."

"Yeah, yeah," you waved dismissively but you were still smiling. "Just don't cough on me anymore."

JJ grinned mischievously at you despite his sickly state. "Don't tempt me, I have no problem about getting you sick too if it means more time with my best girl." He faked a dramatic coughing fit, eliciting an exaggerated sigh from you though he could tell you weren't actually annoyed with him.

"You're just loving having me play nurse for you, aren't you?" You joked as you headed to the kitchen. He could get used to being quarantined if you were taking care of him, that was for sure. Maybe he'd milk this illness a little longer than necessary.

JJ stretched out languidly on the couch, the old springs creaking beneath his weight. He grabbed another tissue to blow his nose which was growing raw and irritated from constant wiping. At least he could still vaguely taste and smell - the steaming bowl of soup you soon presented to him was evidence of that.

"You're a lifesaver, I don't know what I'd do without you Y/N," JJ said earnestly after finishing the entire bowl in record time, his appetite apparently unaffected. He playfully patted the spot on the couch next to him, waggling his eyebrows suggestively. "Now, nurse, I believe your patient requires some additional tender loving care, if you know what I mean."

"Come on baby, you know you want to play nurse with me," he cajoled, patting the empty spot on the couch next to him. He faked another dramatic coughing fit. "I think I need some mouth-to-mouth resuscitation," he joked, making exaggerated kissing noises.

Truth be told, he just wanted you close to him, to feel your soothing presence. Having you here taking care of him made him feel cared for in a way he rarely experienced from his drunk deadbeat dad. He reached out and grabbed your wrist, pulling you down onto the couch. You let out a surprised squeak as you fell into his lap. JJ wrapped his arms around you, nuzzling into your neck.

"Mmm you smell good," he mumbled, breathing in the sweet floral scent of your skin and hair. You squirmed against him but didn't fully pull away. JJ reached up and playfully tugged on one of your strands of hair.

"Just let me hold you for a bit," he pleaded, giving you his best puppy dog eyes. "It'll help me feel better, I promise." He cracked a mischievous grin. "Unless you want to do more than cuddle…" he added suggestively, waggling his eyebrows.

You felt your cheeks flush as JJ pulled you into his lap, his arms holding you close. Despite his illness, that cocky grin of his still made your stomach flutter.

"JJ!" You tried to scold, but couldn't keep the smile off your face. His enthusiasm was infectious. You playfully swatted his hands away as they drifted to your chest.

"Cuddle only mister. I'm immune to those puppy dog eyes," You said firmly. Still, you relaxed into his embrace, nestling your head on his shoulder.

"For now at least," JJ teased, his warm breath tickling your ear. 

Maybe you’d regret this later, but right now taking care of a sick JJ felt natural. He needed you- and knowing that filled you with purpose. You glanced up at him, heart melting at the open affection in his eyes. You reached up and traced the bruise on his jaw from his latest fight.

"I'll always be here to patch you up JJ," you murmured. Impulsively you pressed a soft kiss to his forehead. JJ sighed in contentment, tightening his arms around you. For now, you simply held each other, letting the steady beats of your hearts lull you into comfort. The rest of the world could wait.

''Will your dad be back soon?''

JJ glanced nervously at the front door before settling his gaze back on you. "He shouldn't be back for a while," he said quietly. "Went on one of his benders last night so he'll probably sleep through the day."

JJ shifted on the worn couch, wincing slightly as the movement aggravated his sore ribs. He hoped you wouldn't notice - the last thing he wanted was your pity. "I wish he'd just disappear for good," JJ muttered bitterly. He scrubbed a hand across his face, not wanting to dwell on his useless excuse for a father.

"Anyway, enough about him," JJ said, forcing a grin. "I've got way better company right now."

He playfully tugged on one of the hair strands, admiring how the sunlight filtering through the blinds brought out the highlights in your hair. You were so beautiful it made his chest ache. JJ wished he could freeze this moment - just the two of you here together, your kind eyes gazing at him with understanding rather than judgment.

"You're too good to me Y/N," JJ said quietly. Before he could overthink it, he leaned in and pressed a gentle kiss to your cheek. Your skin was petal soft beneath his lips.

JJ pulled back, heart hammering in his chest. He gave you a crooked smile, hoping you couldn't hear how loud it was beating. "So, wanna raid the crappy cable TV options with me? We can trash talk all the awful daytime soaps."

You looked shocked, unable to speak for a few moments before recovering. You composed yourself before answering, "You know I'll always be here for you JJ, whenever you need me." You give him a soft smile, trying to convey your sincerity. If he wants to drop the subject of his father and move on, you'll happily oblige.

"Daytime TV sounds perfect right now. Let's see who can come up with the most ridiculous plot summaries for these shows," You say with a playful grin. You grab the remote and start flipping through channels, settling on a particularly melodramatic soap opera.

Leaning into JJ's side, you point at the screen. "Okay, that guy definitely just found out the kid he's raising isn't actually his. And that woman is clearly his scorned ex-lover who's out for revenge." You dissolve into giggles, amused by your own silly narration.

You are glad to see JJ's somber mood start to lift, a small smile creeping onto his face. Moments like these make all the chaos and hardship feel worth it. As long as you have each other, you'll be okay.

[chippedshake]

I'm fine

Darry is fine. He swears he's fine. Never been better.

Okay, maybe that's a bit of an exaggeration. But he is fine. He really is.

Sure, he's juggling gaining custody over his brothers with finding out how much to pay for two coffins with considering getting a second job with figuring out how the fuck one pays one's bills with actually being a guardian for his brothers with grieving for his parents, who disappeared with a knock on his door from the police.

But he's fine. He really is.

But I realize that the worst is to come when the storm is gone

And even if he's not fine – which he is –, it's not like he can afford to complain right now because he's facing a steep uphill climb with no help. If he admits that he's not okay now, then what is he going to do for the next four years?

Or after that, when he has to scrape together enough money for Pony to go to college somehow?

He has to be fine now. He has to be. Because if he's not, there's no hope for what comes next.

And I try to recognize that it's all in my head now

Darry isn't fine.

But that's okay. That's fine because everything is actually fine but it's just his head playing tricks on him and making him think everything isn't fine when it is fine.

Because everything is fine.

He's just always made a big deal out of nothing, like when his friends would prank him sometimes in school. It was never that bad, he just liked to catastrophise.

Classic Darry, making a mountain out of a molehill.

Because. Everything. Is. Fine.

Or it will be. Even if it kills him.

But lately I've been feeling tired but I can't sleep

Darry turns over again, dragging his sheets along with him.

Against his better instincts, he checks the clock on his wall.

Two AM.

He sighs. It's not happening tonight. He's been trying for two hours and needs to be up in three.

May as well be productive.

He groans as he sits up. He'll leave the bed unmade a while longer just in case he gets tired enough to go back to sleep, because he definitely won't get back in if it's made.

He stifles a yawn as he cracks Sodapop and Ponyboy's door open. They're fast asleep, Soda's arm around Pony. Darry lets himself breathe a sigh of relief.

They're okay. They're fine.

His eyes struggle to stay open as he sweeps the floor. He can feel his eyebags growing as he scrubs the kitchen counters. Falling asleep standing up is seeming like a genuine possibility by the time he starts mopping.

It's three thirty when he goes back to sleep.

My head is running miles but I can't breathe

Soda's thinking about dropping out. Soda's thinking about dropping out. He's thinking about dropping out because Darry's failed.

Failed at keeping his brothers safe, at maintaining their childhood as best he could with the neighbourhood they live in. Because now Soda is going to have to worry about bills and paychecks and bosses.

He can feel his breathing getting faster but he can't get it to stop.

And he's not a fit guardian is he? He can hardly keep them all under control on a good day and he can't keep Soda in school and Ponyboy's always mad at him and Soda'a dropping out–

Are these grounds for the State to take them away? Of course they are, everything is. Any step out of line, any tiny mistake (Darry makes so many he doesn't understand how he's been allowed to keep his brothers for so long), it's all grounds to take his brother away.

Oh, God, he can't breathe, he can't breathe

Will I ever get my mind under control?

In for four, hold for seven, out for eight.

In for four, hold for seven, out for eight.

Like his mom always did.

In for four, hold for seven, out for eight.

I don't know

'Cause I'm in the eye of the storm

Most people feel calm when they reach the eye of the storm. It has the lowest pressures in the whole storm, and it seems like you've escaped.

It seems like everything's back to normal.

Like Ponyboy still likes books just because he likes them. Like Dally's still got someone to trust. Like Soda still lets himself be a kid. Like Two-Bit just drinks for fun sometimes. Like Johnny can trust him as much as he trusted Darry's parents.

Only Darry knows better. He knows what's on the other side of the eye. He knows the storm goes on.

That Ponyboy's reading to escape reality. That Dally’s hardened back to how he was when he arrived. That Soda knows they can't make do just with Darry's paycheck. That Two-Bit's become an alcoholic. That he's never bothered to form a bond with Johnny in the past and he still seems scared of him.

And I've never been here before

Darry used to think he was stressed.

When he got a bad grade on his physics final in junior year and thought all his hopes for college were crushed unless he doubled down during senior year.

When he realised he didn’t like his girlfriend like he was supposed to, and he hadn’t liked any of his girlfriends like he was supposed to. And he hadn’t liked anyone That Way and he was at prom and had to dance with his girlfriend and felt like he was failing her constantly.

When they were in second place towards the end of the football league and they needed to win this game or it would've all been for nothing.

He scoffs at the memories of what his oh-so-stressful life used to look like. What wouldn't he give for that to be his greatest worry?

All of my thoughts screaming loud, saying that I'll never make it out

When Darry looks at the kitchen, he sees all the meals he needs to make. The table is just its short leg that needs fixing. The mailbox is just the bills.

When Darry looks at Pony and Soda, he can hardly see his little brothers anymore. He sees two boys who need clothes and food and a reminder to bring a blade wherever they're going.

He loves them, too, but that comes second.

You can't love a dead body, or a boy being kept by the State fifteen miles away.

'Cause I'm falling deeper and deeper into my head

"Darry?"

Darry snaps out of his thoughts. Soda and Pony are looking at him worriedly. He's not even sure who said his name.

"Yeah?"

Soda's brow furrows. "You okay?"

"I'm fine, Soda, don't worry about it."

His half-hearted reassurance doesn’t seem to comfort either of them, but they carry on with their conversation.

Darry tries to think of what they were talking about so he can follow the conversation, but he can't remember anything after he started cooking.

And I'm scared that I can't see the light at the end

Darry stays on autopilot until he collapses into his bed.

All he wants is for sleep to take him. He just wants his head to slow down for once.

But of course it won’t.

It starts with the usual: mental math he loses track of but that helps him feel in control of everything. Calculating his paycheck and Soda's and the bills and Pony's college savings account and groceries and Darry's own savings account.

Then that turns into worrying about Pony at school: whether Socs give him any trouble, whether he's doing alright in his classes (because if anyone knows that grades don't mean anything, it's the boy that sold essays throughout his junior and senior year to pay for college), what classes are his favourite (because Darry doesn't talk to him enough to know).

What classes he'll choose when he gets electives.

What he'll major in.

And then Darry's thinking about what he'll be doing when Ponyboy's in college (because Ponyboy's getting out if it's the last thing Darry does) and he's realising that he has no idea.

There's no future for him after his brothers leave.

He used to imagine what his life would be like once he gathered the money for college. If he tries hard enough, he might be able to remember what it was like to hope.

But then he threw away all his dreams, all the possibilities of somehow getting out, and he doesn’t know how to find them again.

I'm in the eye, I'm in the eye of the storm

[nogenderbee]

♡˗ˏ✎*ೃ˚ 𝕐𝕠𝕦𝕟𝕘𝕖𝕤𝕥 𝕗𝕠𝕣 𝕞𝕒𝕟𝕪 ₊˚ˑ༄

*ੈ✩‧₊˚ @kataba request: Hi there, Bee! Could I request Tsukasa, Akito, and Toya with an s/o who has a large number of older siblings (they're the youngest child)?

*ੈ✩‧₊˚ Hi kataba!! ^^ Yeah absolutely! I might've written it quite badly since I'm the oldest sibling but... I tried!!

*ੈ✩‧₊˚ fluff

✧ Akito definitely knows a bit about being the younger sibling... and trust me, he doesn't have too many nice stories to tell. Or... maybe he's hiding them?

✧ either way, when he discovers you're the youngest sibling, he immidietly sees room to have mutual obstacles

"Oh! I'm youngest sibling too!"

"Seriously? Well that's a similiarity... how's your oldest sibling?"

"Which one?"

"Which o- uh... How many of siblings do you have-?"

"Around 8..."

"EIGHT?! AND WHAT DO YOU MEANT AROUND?!!"

✧ he's under big impression how you manage to deal with this much older siblings when he hardly deals with one!

✧ but from your stories, he also starts to think that Ena just must be hard to deal with in general

✧ when he hears this many stories, he actually kinda wants to meet them! Maybe not the... energetic and problematic ones... but the calm, kind and mature ones sound pretty cool and obviously he wants to have good relationship with your family

✧ I feel like your siblings would have 50/50 about him... some would love him, some would have mixed feelings for him, but none of them would hate him! After all, he shows his good side for a reason~

﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌

@bleachtheidiot @akitosheart @yulikesminori @toyaswif3y @miya-akane @hayillaaaaaaa @stellas-starry-stove13 @nenes-numberonefan - come get your pancake lover!

✧ Toya doesn't have any siblings, so when you mention you're the youngest from many siblings, he's immidietly intrigued

✧ he only heard few stories from Akito, but he already got to know he tends to... exaggerate his stories a bit...

"Oh? This many siblings? How was life with them?"

"Well~ When I was aging up, I..."

✧ he's genuinely interested in your stories and how aging up looked from you view

✧ he doesn't have any siblings so of course he's interested how it feels to have so many and be the youngest of them all!

✧ you don't even need to ask him if he want's to meet your siblings, the moment you start telling your stories, his face says it all

✧ he's so nervous for nothing! All of your siblings definitely would love him, he's just so sweet and mature, maybe comes off as a bit shy and nervous but they don't mind! They all aproved of him <3

✧ and let me tell you, if you let him on a little secret, that all of your siblings liked him, you'll see the cutest smile ever!!

"They really did? Well I couldn't be more glad~ I was nervous I might've been too... quiet..."

﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌

@bleachtheidiot @akitosheart @yulikesminori @toyaswif3y @miya-akane @toyaslove @bl4cktourmaline @r4wrclwz @stellas-starry-stove13 - come get your cookie lover!

✧ Tsukasa immidietly gives you the "I knew it!" text for some reason... is it the big brother magic that he could tell? You'll never know...

"Yeah, I'm the youngest sibling of like... 8?"

"Hah! I knew you were the youngest! It's written all around you, my star!"

"How-"

✧ he just laughs it off... you'll definitely never discover why, because Saki has no idea how he could know either-

✧ either way, he's still eager to know how it looks from youngest siblings so he'll listen your stories and in exchange tell you his own!

✧ you also odn't need to ask him if he wants to meet your family, the moment you start telling him stories about your siblings, he literally exclaims he wants to meet them

"Huh, so that's how they are... Well they seem great! I can't wait for the day of our meeting in that case! I'll make sure to prepare my best entrance for this special occasion!!"

"Oh cool, where are you free?"

"Any time! I could even go like right now! Oh but wait... I'd have so little time to prepare... Well then maybe tomorrow!"

✧ I feel like your siblings would have a little bit of 50/50 with him too... most like him but for some he's just a bit too... loud and energetic and all... but they still approve since he seems to be a nice guy?

﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌

@bleachtheidiot @akitosheart @bad-the-an-enjoyer @yulikesminori @alicewinterway18 @nenes-numberonefan - come get your future star~

[sarascamander]

My favorite Sherlock x John retelling

1) Holloway Holmes & Jack Moreno from The Adventure of Holloway Holmes (book series).

- These two have the most special place in my heart. They are the healthiest, most adorable pairing I've ever encountered and I love them like my own sons. (And they are canonically together!!!!).

- they really said MISCOMMUNICATION WHO?? IDK THAT BITCH. Couple goal at its finest, really 😭🤌🏻 Jack will sit Holloway down an be like, "TALK YOU EMOTIONAL CONSTIPATED MF 👺👹 ILY 🥰💞✨���

- HOLLOWAY HOLMES IS MY SAD MENACING CINNAMON ROLL AND HE NEED A HUG.

- Jack Moreno is really out there casually being Holloway's #1 defender. He needs a hug too let me give it to you, baby 😭 (and this is a SPOILER but he IS a Watson. He just didn't know that).

- again, they are just ADORABLE. SICKENINGLY DOMESTIC MARRIED CRIME SOLVING BOYFRIENDS. And Jack's internal monologue is so fun to read, he's hilarious!!

2) Ty Blackthorn x Kit Herondale from TDA (book series)

- okay this is not technically a Sherlock retelling but they have the vibe!!! Ty basically fancy themselves Holmes and Watson and I'd do anything Ty told me to do.

- fella is it gay that you're waxing poetry for this boy who held a knife at your neck the first time you met? Kit doesn't care he's dying. He was too shocked at how pretty Ty is (I am NOT EVEN EXAGGERATING)

- HOWEVER they are the KING OF MISCOMMUNICATION. KIT HONEY I PROMISE YOU TY HAVE A BIG FAT CRUSH ON YOU.

- the way Kit adores Ty is peak literature. I CANNOT deal with their angst. I wouldn't survive it.

- hope they solve more crimes (and kiss!!) in the coming books. I'VE WAITED YEARS FOR THEM OKAY.

3) Sherlock Holmes x John Watson (BBC Sherlock)

- the first two seasons of them are SO ADORABLE.

- they matched each other's freaks so much. What do you MEAN John shot someone for Sherlock just a DAY after meeting him???

- I haven't watched beyond season 3 but I know what was gonna happen and maybe that's why they're kinda low.

- THEIR FANFIC IS FIRE. I LIVED OFF IT. WHENEVER AO3 WENT DOWN ITS LIKE MY LIFE SUPPORT WAS PLUGGED OFF.

- they aren't canonly together tho 😭😭

4) Charlotte Holmes x Jamie Watson from A Study in Charlotte (book series)

- I ate them up when I was 14. Still crazy about them.

- their relationship is SO COMPLICATED and low-key toxic. It makes me want to tear out my hair, it makes me want to eat paper and scream and cry.

- they love each other, they truly do. As far as I remember, they're still not canon by the end because Charlotte wasn't ready (and what happened to her was heartbreaking. I understand why she isn't ready to be with Jamie but it still broke my heart) 😭😭

- Charlotte Holmes can be BBC Sherlock's daughter. They are so similar in so many ways. And they are so destructive 😭😭 AND CHARLOTTE NEED THERAPY PLEASE GIVE THIS CHILD A THERAPY.

- Jamie just... He needed a break. Give him a break, you guys. He's tired and sad. He's only 17, he doesn't know anything but he knows he loves Charlotte.

- (I can write a whole essay about their relationships and of Charlotte. I think I did at one point lmao).

- okay now that I'm writing this should be at least the top 3. I'm ranking it 2 but I'm too lazy to move it up. This book is the one that got me into the Sherlock lore in the first place, I was obsessed.

5) Enola Holmes x Louise Partridge (I don't remember the characters name sorry 😭)

- I watched this movie on my ex bestie's birthdays when I was like, 14 so in a way I have a special connection to this movie

- but honestly I think it's boring lmao.