#maybe it's a little silly bc its not like this is her family but who said emotions were rational

[fadetouchedsilk]

,,,, shame-filled stress smoker camellia, actually

[strab3rr]

(long story and no short sorry) GUYSSS I DID ITT

I INDUCED IT!!!!! I WAS PURE AS A FUCKING BABY

IDK WHAT TO SAY (ok enough w capslock)

i have so much to say and not a thing at da same time idk how

anyway i want to begin with thanking you @b4ddprincess bc youre the reason i realized why i started this thing. thank you for making my life better and make me realized what i need to do: nothing. (its same for you guys, all u have to do is nothing)

two fuckn years ago i said to myself that i need a better life, quiter life, less fight with everthing bc everything was so loud and not clear i was feeling lost like a child in the market, and i wanted to make things better for myself in every way, but the main idea of my reasons to wanting to get in the void was: making anxiety go and having better people in my life. but the ''voidlist'' just never stopped bc im kinda greedy(having the idea of controling on your life, the idea of that power makes you greedy. yes thats a thing) anyway the more i add to the list the more i feel like im movin away from my desires then i feel depressed bc ive overcomplicating it bc theres so many things to do but i dont do anything so nothing happend bc i was waiting to be someth happen. and then i started doing awkwardly silly things such as: void routines and challenges and (im embarrassed of this one bc i was too desperate) drinking water

youve read it correct drinking water.

i was sooo desperate for having those things id do anything to get them.

i am simple. i want what everyone wants🎀🎀🎀: shifting realities bc i have so many crush and i need them to be crush me in bed(for 2020 girlies)

being an academic weapon is so easy for me🎀(bc of the urge to make my family proud) +dream collage

being the girl that everyone gets along w(basic needs)

being the girl who is pretty not cute(trauma response)

glowing aura(cats loves people w glowing aura yes thats a thing too)

dream body n hair(bc i deserve this🎀)

healthy (girlyfriend)friends(basic needs)

and of course him, my sp(i cant tell wich one at that time but i releived that its not him now, bc MY BELOVED CURRENT BF. guyss he is the one. dont u dare ask me how you know? i literally manifested him🎀)

then i realized i can have everything bc its my reality so why not add these:

new phone, +macbook air

dream apartment of my own

pinterest closet

lifa app for this reality

financially free-money(a lot. like really a lot)

knowing 4 languages like a native person(bc i want to be diplomat so bad) +sign language(its in general)

a little drama(its not gonna hurt anybody)

my parents being more lovable and away from me

every time i try to get in, either i was failing or falling

and im sick of it, sick of it so much i quit.(for a year)

then i go to the theraphy(ofc no im jk ilove being crazy)

one day i saw a post ss from tumblr about pure consciousness on pinterest and i was like whaat is thiiss. no mention of void so i thougt its a diffrent thing and i download the tumblr again and search everything abt it. and same excitement again after one year same thougts and same list popes up in my head. and i was like ok maybe this time itll happen.

still waiting to be someth happen so nothing happend, it was such a waste of time trying to get in while i was already be, i was already what i want to become. i was that girl that everyone gets along with but i couldnt even see bc i was too focused on wanting to be. but still tried every night and failed. and again tried-failed-quit circle bc.. have you ever met me🎀

4 month ago i saw the girl, iconic blogger and the goddess of my dreams, her @b4ddprincess thx again love u so much

a post pops in my fyp and i see the words ''pure consciousness'' i was like noo not again. and i was serious abt it i wasnt gonna read the whole thing but it attract me n i couldnt resist it so ive read it from the top to the bottom. and she got my interest so i stalked her page from the last and to the first post. it was quiet a beautiful journey for me. lasted like 3 days, the end of the 3rd day i was ''woaw it was this easy all along? u cant be serious.'' she was. i tried one last time, no breathing exercise, no ridiculous routines and no waiting something to be happen. it was just me being real me chilling out asf.

and it was this easy and it should be this easy bc being your 4d self is being nothing also being everything at the same time. if u wanna be everything you should be nothing first(as wizardliz saying: drop the old story, leave the victimhood, for being better stop being bitter etc.)u should make a space for everything first and then u can be everything.

for being 4d self of yours stop being your3dself.

sooo long story (no)short i am writing this from my mac in my new apartment(in middle of the night bc i couldnt sleep and then one tumblr notification reminded me i have a success story to share too) and my phone buzzing two minutes a time bc of my friends while im writing this, so if theres anything wrong ignore it pls.

oh u asking my bf how cute, hes sleepin in my bed now, exhausted from the work n school balance.

YWS SCHOOL!! im in my dream collage and im going to be in paris for a week. i deserve a vacation i guess(its for another conference), i kinda hate french men bc theyre so mansplaning(not like how i imagined, its hard to be friends w them)girls are cute but i feel like theyre aware im not permanent there so we just con buddies still cute and hepful for this foreigner.

and i canceled the lifa app thingy bc i can be my purest consciousness anytime i want, so i am my lifa app.

and thx to 4 languages i make a lot of money and that brings us to the pinterest closet, yesterday i realiased that. theyre not comes to me w an imaginary way like i imagined! i go outside for shopping casually and theyre there luckily i have enough money to buy them.

and my family theyre living in our hometown now so as i want it to be, we are away from eachother.

and the most magical thing: SHIFTING REALITIESSS

i did 5 world before i met w my bf. it was such a wonderful experience. if you have doubts abt shifting you can go fuck urself

because sir i did it and i am very sure that dean winchester being my husband is not a daydream, fantasy nor lucid dreaming. believe it or not he kissed me GOD HE KİSSED ME(someone should stop me i have a bf)

is there anything i missed let me see.. cats i have 2 cats now and theyre adorable. glowing aura-check

the girl who is pretty not cute- check +make anxietygo-checkcheckcheck

dream body and hair- check and check

i wanna give u a info i didnt have all my desires by being my4dself

not directly actually. but i have them all. and thats the point.

im not trying to be a blogger but if you have any question abt anything, id be happy to help

now i need to upgrade things in my farm byeess

loves, siena.

[sl-ut]

even more streamer!ellie hcs

part one | part two

ellie is not at all embarrassed to admit that a large portion of her own fame was largely due to her connection to y/n

like ofc she was already fairly popular on twitch but its not like the average person who didn't watch streams would recognize her

she ends up making a new priv instagram bc she gains like 50k new followers in a month

she only has like maybe 100 followers on the new one and basically just posts random photo dumps, family photos, and especially the literal cutest and/or horrendous photos of her gf

posts a LOT on her ig stories on both accounts

her main pfp is deffffff some screenshot that she took of their happy little sim family or like their little minecraft guys standing side by side lol

ik i said before that she loves playing like the sims w her gf on stream, but she also LOVES playing roblox together

starting drama in dress to impress, causing havoc in bloxburg, making friends and enemies galore in tdi

her avatar is definitely so dumb like its probably the hamster or squirrel or like the most basic ass starter avatar with a shirt that has her gfs face on it

and her username is def like "y/nstan420" or something

when she's streaming alone she's more focused and serious (but still her silly little self) but when she's with others, esppppp if her gf is on with her, she defffff gives weston koury vibes like im actually giggling at this so hard

they both make tiktoks of each other

y/n once did the "watch my gf for me" trend and she came back to find ellie holding the phone and ranting about something so random like she was probably explaining her favourite theory about how the dinosaurs went extinct or something about planets and space idek

ellie doesn't really follow trends as often, instead just posting videos of her scaring her gf or pranking her or maybe even like mukbangs or something

loves to post fit checks before they go out to do literally anything

also likes to lipsync to dirty audios

the video always ends as she's about to get smacked upside the head

idk if i ever actually gave much backstory???? but here we go anyways lol

i think we've established that y/n is an up-and-coming actress

they met through a friend of dina's, who was a costume designer on the set of y/n's first big film

dina visited her friend on set on the last day of filming and she ended up getting an invite to the cast/crew party that night

jesse was tooooo busy to hang out with his bombshell gf ig???? so ellie got to go with her

she already knew who y/n was since she was starting to gain popularity and was immediately adopted by lesbian twitter

she was so nervous when she clocked her on the other side of the room

spent the whole night shuffling around the room to gain the courage to go talk to her

also spent all of that time trying to come off like the coolest chillest most confident masc ever like she wasn't constantly wiping the sweat from her palms lmaoooo

she finally was forced to lay on the moves when y/n came over to join in on the convo with her castmates

ellie made her laugh and vice versa

she shocked herself when she offered to grab another drink from the kitchen "for the pretty lady"

she immediately considered throwing herself off of the impossibly high deck

was even more shocked when the girl only laughed and hopped up to join her, fingers curling into her bicep

she totally wasn't flexing the whole time

dina was wandering around looking for her, way too drunk to be there much later considering that it was almost 2 am and had to work a ten hour shift tmr :(((

she didn't have much luck bc she never thought to check the upstairs guest bathroom

ellie constantly be fighting them uhaul lesbian rumours

but she actually was ready to upheave her entire life to follow y/n around the world

reposts any and all posts of her gf on her story

adds little hearts and stars and little taglines that earn her a scolding

like that one time she wore a tight-fitting corset on the red carpet that had the girls lifted to the heavens

she captioned it "i <3 my gf('s boobs)"

fights with haters in her gf's comment section

wears her gf's merch

omg the way she SCRUMPT when she saw the paparazzi pic of her girl wearing ellie's merch out on a random thursday

they hadn't even made it official yet

flirts with her gf in random comment sections lol

like y/n comments on dina's selfie and ellie is instantly replying to her

"u come here often?"

they have def been caught in compromising positions soooo many times

like by their friends, cast and crew members on set, y/n's manager, even the paps

ellie felt so boss when tmz posted a pic of her pressing her gf against the wall outside of the club they'd gone to on ellie's bday

els had her tongue down her gfs throat and both of her hands jammed up the front of her top, very clearly grasping and squeezing her breasts

they got a stern talking to from y/n's pr team but ellie actually didn't care

she def has phantom dick disorder in literally all aspects of her life

lets not forget that this version of ellie does not have experience in fighting and has not lived through an apocalypse so she's contextually less tough than normal ellie

but that doesn't stop her from mouthing off to assholes three times her size

don't get me wrong, she can hold her own and still works out on occasion, but she fr looks like a chihuahua barking at pitbulls when she gets yapping

speaking of, stoned!ellie absolutely loves when her gf be yapping

i love the dynamic of ellie doing a chat stream w her gf where ellie's got her in her lap, leaning back with droopy eyes and a dopey smile, still giving her gf all of her attention while her gf ends up being more of a "alert and yappy" stoned and is rambling about strangely philosophical topics and answering questions in chat

ellie is just sitting there just giggling and when her gf turns to her she just goes "ur so smart baby" and "u look so pretty rn"

omg omg omg i luv this pairing im never gonna stop writing them like

bonus: this is the vibe of the ck campaign i mentioned in the last part

[giantkillerjack]

Update: Having finished Smile (2022) with only minimal fast-forwarding (I'll go back and re-watch it fully at a much later date), I can confirm 3 things:

I am an absolute fucking pineapple for starting a horror movie past 10pm. The previous personal rule I had was "no starting horror media after midnight", and I started this movie at 11:54pm. I see now that my previous rule was... insufficient. My adrenaline isn't going to go down enough to sleep until at least 5:00am. I am a kumquat of a man. I am a silly little transgender kiwi-lime spritz. I am a passionfruit-strawberry smoothie with boba for brains, and I have made an error.

Most people who are suicidal should not watch this movie. Just-- go watch The Babadook for now if you absolutely must watch a movie about a literal trauma monster, and come back to this one when it has less of a chance of causing harm to you. Both are great movies. Smile is just a lot more bleak. - And that is in comparison to a movie where a woman snaps her a small dog's neck in front of her 6-year-old child. I mean, The Babadook is absolutely hopeful in comparison.

This movie fucking slaps. It is extremely fucking good. If you are in a place to watch a bleak and TERRIFYING movie about suicide, this is an excellent fucking movie. (If you're not sure, please save it for later! It's not going anywhere!)

I mean, I want everyone in my life who failed to support me in my own time being suicidal to have to watch this movie because it is a brutal look at what it is like to have a deadly mental illness that you don't have the language to explain and that you just can't get people to understand the danger of. Gods know those folks who failed me would probably STILL fail to understand what I'm showing them, but MAN, it is a BRUTAL message about not believing mentally ill people.

My only real complaint tbh is that the character of the white cop ex-boyfriend was WAY too helpful and understanding to the mentally tormented main character. Which ultimately means that the film did fail to understand and highlight the way that the cops play a direct role in perpetuating the very same abuse and neglect of the mentally ill in America that this movie is about!

(The fact that the main character's therapist mentions that she is legally obligated to call the cops if she determines her patient is dangerous shows that the movie is at least partially aware of this issue, but it fails to commit in this respect.)

But otherwise, yeah, this is an amazing fucking movie and the most visceral demonstration of the horrors of psychosis and untreated PTSD that I've seen, while actively challenging the ableist horror movie tropes I've come to expect from any horror movie that shows ANYTHING related to mental health.

This movie really said, "NO, you're not gonna get murdered by a bunch of crazed lunatics. That's fucking stupid. You're MUCH more at risk to BECOME someone other people CALL a lunatic for reasons outside of your control... and then there will be nobody that can help you."

And THAT'S the horror story I think neurotypical people need to fucking hear. The same way I don't need another "oh man wouldn't it be scary if you met some POOR PEOPLE with FACIAL DEFORMITIES" cannibal hillbilly movie, when the REAL horror of THAT situation is the kind of treatment a poor person with an unusual face could expect from a group of lost college kids who represent wealthy society at large.

I give Smile a 9/10, with the caveat that, again, this story is a tragedy about mental health. And it's an important story to tell...

But as a person whose life was saved by the patients and counselors at a mental hospital's intensive outpatient program, I want to emphasize that this movie would have fucked me up really badly back then, and it could have even discouraged me from seeking the trauma treatment that helped my life stop being a living hell.

So I wanted to emphasize one more time to please be careful with this film if you're currently having a Bad Time, and also emphasize that not all of our stories end in tragedy. I'm alive and loved and often happy, and I don't want to die, and I once thought that was an impossible state of being for me.

Even though it was fucking chilling for me to recognize that twisted titular smile from this movie as the one I used to draw on my artistic representation of my own suicidality (her name used to be Sue), if i were to draw my trauma monster now, it would look like a small strange little creature that needs love and patience (they don't wanna hurt me; they're just... horribly scared sometimes. But they haven't been Sue in a long time). Things are so different now.

So. Good things are possible. And while sometimes good movies benefit from NOT showing hopeful endings in order to emphasize the real-life stakes of a societal problem, YOU, reading this, are not yet lost.

The possibility of a better life - however slim or grim - cannot truly die so long as you draw breath.

And I happen to personally know a lot of people working to help make that chance bigger and better because doing so is MY life's work, and this has led to me making a lot of awesome, radical, kind friends. We are Many.

And that matters. You matter. And even if you, now, are the only person who ever reads this - if you can be even a hair's breadth gentler to yourself today in any way, then, by my metric, I have written a wildly successful movie review.

(Especially considering that I am, at my core, a sapient mango who now has to watch funny YouTube videos until 5-fucking-AM because I am JUST A SILLY LITTLE GUY OKAY.)

The cool thing about a horror movie that takes place in a mental hospital and, shockingly, actually turns out to be on the side of mentally ill people is that it avoids all the common disgusting pitfalls of mocking, demonizing, and infantilizing mentally ill people.

The downside is

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!

[It's much scarier.]

[shima-draws]

Tell us about the AU! I know you want to!!

WAUGHHH. AGHHH. OKAY. OKAY SO. I've been watching one of my favorite content creators play through the DLC. Early on in the playthrough he was tossing around theories and said "Maybe KIERAN is Ogerpon??" and that gave me a BRILLIANT THOUGHT.

Ogerpon Kieran AU.......

I've already thought of a very long and complex backstory for this LOL but to simplify it. Before the ogre and its human companion came to Kitakami, said companion was actually living a very happy life with his child. However, they were caught up in the midst of a great war that ended up taking the child's life. The man was so overcome with grief that it summoned a great being (I'm thinking Xerneas), who blessed his dead child with new life. And that child was reborn as Ogerpon!! So kinda like how children who get lost in the woods and die are reborn as Phantump.

Fast forward to many many years later. A long chain of events leads to Carmine's grandfather's...father (so, her great-grandpa?) meeting Ogerpon and vowing to make it a new mask, a mystical and powerful mask that could grant wishes. Sadly, Carmine's great-grandpa wasn't able to complete the mask before he died. This project was eventually picked up by Carmine's father (and I have a whole other thing about him but I'm not gonna get into it right now lol). Carmine's father forms a very close bond with Ogerpon as he continues to gather materials to finish the wish mask. He expresses his desire for Ogerpon to finally be able to walk among the villagers with its name cleared, and for Ogerpon to meet his only daughter. He leaves for a journey to find the last material for the mask...and never returns 😔

Carmine's grandfather has a whole complex about the wish mask, but after seeing both his father and his son dedicate so much time and care into completing it, he takes the last material, imbued with the hopes and dreams of his family, and finally finishes the mask. When he presents it to Ogerpon, Ogerpon dons the mask and its wish is granted...it becomes human :") So it becomes Kieran, basically!! Kieran's wish was to be able to say thank you to all of the generations of mask makers that had helped him, and. To be part of their family 🥺 What he doesn't know is that his wish to be human stems from the fact that he already was human, once. But he doesn't remember his life before he was reborn as a Pokemon.

So, Carmine's grandfather happily accepts Kieran and his desire, and takes him home to live with him and Carmine. Note that Kieran is probably around 5-6 at the time, so he's BABY. And Carmine is only about a year or two older. She isn't sure what to think about suddenly getting a new brother, but she's happy to have someone to boss around lmao.

And once a year, during the festival of masks, Kieran lets his facade fall and wanders around as Ogerpon again. Just to keep in touch with his roots haha

So obviously with Kieran being Ogerpon the events of the DLC will play out differently than canon. Kieran slyly compliments the ogre in front of the player and mentions that maybe it's just misunderstood. He's been trying for a while to change the villagers' minds about what happened to him and the Loyal Three all those years ago, but it hasn't been going...too well lol. So when the player shows up, and things start to shift, Kieran gets really excited bc he realizes he finally might be able to clear his name :")

Is this AU silly and dumb as hell? Yes. Does it not really make sense with canon and is full of plot holes? Yes. Am I brainrotting over it anyway? Also yes.

Take a little edit I did of Kieran's official art to fit what I had in mind for the AU ;) I wanted to draw it but I'm at work rn lmao RIP

ALSO LITTLE DOODLE OF THE BOY

ALSO bc of Ogerpon's original gender Kieran probably goes by he/they pronouns in the AU

[radioroxx]

da bebes ;-; <3

THE BABIES <3 (link to og fankid post)

using this ask as an excuse to share some thoughts we had about the kids interactions with the others from the party! depending on some disc screenshots to help me lol

hehe!

OK FIRST. MIRABELLE

absolutely absolutely she is the type to spoil the kids. with candy and sweets and late bedtimes she just cannot say no to them ever she is far too fond. and yes she would read to them. she picks out book she especially likes, or ones that she enjoyed as a kid, and totally not as an excuse to talk about these characters she loves so much nooo-

(as long as the books are. age appropriate ofc. not too scary for the youngins,,)

on top of that she would be very easy to talk to! isa and sif do make sure to always be emotionally open with their kids, would never want them to feel like they cant talk about something, but even then. sometimes its nice to have someone else to depend on. just in case. and mira loves to chat with em :)

NEXT. ODILE

odile cares for these kids oooh so so so much. she would never admit it but, much like the rest of her family, she would do horrible horrible things to make them happy. even if she. isnt the best with kids. in general. shes trying her best and the kids definitely thinking her dry humour and sarcastic bluntness is funny as hell

also she is 100% the embarrassing stories one. the kids ask her for the same silly story about their parents again and again eeevery time she visits. they never get tired of it and neither does she. (sif and isa certainly do though fjnf)

BONNIE… we didnt talk much about bonnie,,

doing some very basic math bonnie would be arounnd their? early or mid twenties when the kids are. “born”. (wished into existence). which makes me honestly so depressed and sad to thinking about ohmy god theyre growing up i might die

i think they would bond very easily with the kids though! would enjoy getting to show and teach them things- things that make themself happy like cooking etc. i do think as well bon would be trying very hard, maybe a little too hard, to appear cool and chill around them. so that they respect them. (kinda how i hc sif to have been around bon early on pre-story,, bc nothing is more validating than the approval of an 11yo lol)

OK FINALLY… LOOP…..

i already talked a bit about loop in the original post but i guess i can juuust repeat myself a lil.

loops feeling are complicated. we joked about them being a funny babysitter, the kids probably think theyre so so fun to play with, buut it might take some time to get there. its been years since the end of the loops, working through jealously and learning to be satisfied with what they do have but! this is! different!! and its hard…

… but it gets better

(im out of screenshot space but we also had the idea of the kids putting on plays, maybe if sif ever shared his love of theatre with them, and tbey would absolutely rope loop into it. loop who is reluctant to participate until they realize how much fun theyre having with these two)

[basil-does-arttt]

DMC Questions Anon here!

How do DMC characters handle gifts, both giving and receiving?

Hello!!

I think Dante would try and splurge a little to get nice gifts for everyone. Nothing too fancy or expensive, maybe a box of chocolates and a card, and maybe some beer or wine for those who drink alcohol. When it comes to recieving gifts i can see him being quite bashful about it, maybe not expecting to get anything more than a pair of socks or a just a card. If he gets any expensive gifts, he feels a little guilty and wants to try and pay back whoever got it for him pff.

Vergil i think would just get some simple but personalized gifts for close family (Nero and Dante, maybe Kyrie too bcs of Nero.) He'd rather give it to them in person and in quiet rather than during a big celebration where everyone is gathered together. When it comes to recieving gifts, he's polite and humble about it, but secretly surprised anybody got him anything in the first place (esp it its not from Nero or Dante.)

Nero and Kyrie go all out. Gifts are wrapped in pretty paper, the cards might have a little bit of cash in them, the things he gets are all meticulously chosen to make absolutely sure the reciever likes it. He gets a little red in the face when actually giving the gifts, but a few hair-ruffles from uncle Dante and a soft smile from Vergil in the background and he's loosened up a lot more. When recieving gifts i think he'd be grateful for anything even if it was just a cheap pair of PJs or a silly little trinket.

Lady and Trish i think get wine and beer to share, and give out cards to the others (Trish writes them, Lady puts cash in.) Theyre mostly there for the christmas celebrations rather than gift-giving i think, but they're happy to recieve any gifts too.

Nico is making the gifts she gives to people, and its usually something practical like a tool for Dante/Lady/Trish's guns, an upgrade for one of Nero's weapons, or a little stand for Yamato to sit on when Vergil isnt holding it. She's a little awkward about recieving gifts, but its all with a big smile on her face :3

[crusadingcookie]

Hey i was wondering if maybe u can do a fic where reader is part of taskforce 141 and most of the time is super focused on the mission and her orders but seems out it it bc its her daughter bday or sum ,and they find out she used to have a family (husband,children the while shabang) but they were murdered or died in a terrorist attack. I just want something really angsty 😭💀

spring daffodils

Also on AO3!

Pairing: TF141 & fem!Reader, mentioned Reader x unnamed!Husband 

Summary: It’s been years since the tragic death of your husband and daughter at the hands of an enemy target you were tracking at the time. On the day of what would have been your daughter’s birthday, something in a mission causes you to break down in front of the rest of the task force. Or: 3k words of the reader crying and Task Force 141 comforting her

Word Count: 3k

Content Warnings: fem!Reader, angst, hurt/comfort, crying, brief argument with Ghost at the beginning but nothing too bad, Reader was married and had a child, mentions of death (including death of a child), brief mention of blood, Reader has the codename “Tigress”, this is all strictly platonic, Tigress has that widow trauma so no time for romance, no beta we die like Tigress' family, it's for the angst plot guys I swear

A/N: Thank you for the request, I’m sorry this is kinda late but I hope you enjoy it! The ending is a bit meh but I already felt bad with how late this is. I tried to make this as angsty as possible but with some comfort and a bit of fluff at the end. 

It was spring when you first met him. You were back home after a long, tiring time of non-stop tours and missions. You decided to take a small break of a couple of months before specialising further in your military career. A new café had opened near your home and you often found yourself there, spending the afternoon in the cosy shop. It was where you first met him. You had just picked up your cup of coffee when something bumped into you from behind, causing your coffee to spill all over the front of your shirt. You turned around, ready to have a word with whoever knocked into you when you were met with a ramble of apologies and promises to buy you a new coffee. Soon you found yourself sitting with the man in a private corner of the café, a hot cup of coffee in front of you and a promise of a new shirt to replace the coffee-stained one. One date quickly turned into two, the both of you enraptured with each other. And after a few years, a golden ring adorned your finger. After a year or so of the two of you being married, your daughter was born. A little human being who brought joy and innocence to your life, who did not know of the true horrors her mum faced to keep people like her safe.

=====

And it was spring when they died. The trees were starting to bud and the flowers were starting to bloom again. The sky was finally clear after months of grey clouds and cold winds. Mother Earth was once again encouraging and welcoming new life when their light was snuffed out. A bitter irony. 

The family of crows which lived in your back garden sat in the branches of the tree overlooking your driveway. Watching as you made your way across the driveway and to the front door, observing like a bad omen. Only for you to discover the bodies of your husband and daughter. Shot dead in the very living room of your own home. It was like a silly game of Cluedo, whodunnit and with what? Except this wasn’t a silly game of Cluedo. You knew exactly who had ordered this to be done. 

Their deaths were because of your line of work. A tragic event born from a multitude of failures. The target you were chasing at the time with your old squad had sent out the hit on your family. In a last-ditch attempt to attack your squad in some way. And if he couldn’t get to your squad directly, then he would hurt them indirectly. And that he did. Somehow it got out that you had a family, it shouldn’t have. Someone back at base fucked up because that information should have been strictly secret to prevent these types of situations in the first palace. It should have been redacted behind a big block of black ink on your file. But in the end, your target was the one with the last laugh whilst you were forced to deal with the sight of your husband and daughter murdered in your own home. 

Since that day you have thrown yourself into your work. Sinking in an endless ocean of mission after mission, wanting to give up and stop swimming and yet just as the last breath of air leaves your lungs you find yourself breaking the surface yet again. A never-ending cycle of peace until the storm of grief strikes anew.

Without anyone left back home, it was easy to dedicate everything to the military and a few years later you found yourself recruited by no other than Captain John Price himself. This new task force, the 141, was the closest thing to family you had experienced in a long time. And yet, you still couldn’t find it in yourself to tell the boys about them. About your husband and your little girl. A part of you reasoned that there was no need for them to know, what was the point when their fate has already been engraved in stone and nothing can change the outcome of what happened. Or maybe you were just too much of a coward to confront what happened that day.

What you couldn’t ignore was the current date. Its significance is seared into your mind, a constant reminder of what could have been. Of what you have lost. And of course, the task force was assigned a mission on this day of all days. At first, the mission you and the rest of the task force were on was going well. You always prided yourself in being professional and focused when it came to missions. You knew the seriousness of the situation and followed orders given to you. 

And then it all went to shit. You were already feeling off the moment you woke up. Not even looking at the small desk calendar to remind yourself of the date. As if you haven’t been counting down the days. Like clockwork, waiting for the guilt and grief to wash over you until the tsunami passed and you waited until another 365 days passed to repeat the process.

You and your team had cleared the abandoned village the enemy had set up base in. You were ordered to search and clear one of the buildings in case there were any enemies in hiding. As you methodically made your way through the house you came across what clearly used to be a child’s room. Toys were strewn about, but what caused you to pause was the sight of a teddy bear dropped at the foot of the bed. Intel had informed you that the village was forced to flee as the enemy forces occupied the area, some resisting and resulting in civilian deaths. Your eyes zeroed in on the blood splatter on one of the teddy’s ears, the fake fur matted with the dried liquid. 

“Mum, can I get that teddy pretty pleaasee?”

“Alright sweetie, but only this one okay?”

“Yay thank you! I will name you… hmmm… Sir Stripes!”

You honestly did not remember much after that. The rest of the village was deemed clear and soon you were on the flight back to base. You fought to keep yourself together just for a few more hours until you were back on base and could grieve alone within the confines of your own four walls. Your team watched with concern as you sat, back straight and staring ahead at the hull of the plane. 

A hand on your shoulder jolted you out of your memories. You recognised the face of the pilot and it took you embarrassingly long to realise the rest of the team had already disembarked the plane. You mumbled what you hoped was an intelligible apology and made your way over to the locker room. Thankfully the room was empty, you loved your teammates that was without question. But right now, you didn’t think you could make it much longer until you broke down. With practised ease, you stripped yourself of your gear and it seemed you were lucky enough that no one came to find out why you were taking so long. You should have known by now that luck typically doesn’t go your way. Just as you put away the last of your gear a voice from the doorway interrupted you.

“Care to explain what’s up with you today?” With a deep breath, you turned and faced Ghost. Your lieutenant was standing in the doorway of the armoury, already out of his field gear, although he looked just as intimidating in his normal attire. 

“I don’t know what you mean, the mission was a success.” You said, attempting to feign ignorance. Of course, Ghost saw through that.

“You were out of it” Ghost replied, his eyes piercing into yours, his sharp gaze never leaving you. 

You stayed silent, hoping that he would drop it and let you go so that you could inevitably cry in peace. The two of you stood in silence, staring at each other until Ghost crossed his arms over his chest, looking even more imposing in the doorway.

“Don’t bullshit me Tigress. You were clearly out of it, hell even Soap noticed and you know it takes him long to figure this kind of shit out.” 

“The mission was a success, so I don’t see why this is an issue.” You huffed, starting to get irritated at the man’s persistent probing. Any other day you would be happy to know that the infamous Ghost cared. But right now? Right now you just wanted to be left alone. You just wanted to stew in your grief, let the dark thoughts remind you of what happened. You had to keep the walls up. They can’t know how fucked up your life was. How you failed to protect them. You don’t deserve their comfort.

Ghost shifted at the slight tone in your voice. If it wasn’t clear before that something was bothering you, now it definitely was. “It becomes an issue when one of my soldiers is not thinking clearly in enemy territory.”

“Look, Lieutenant, it's getting late, we’re all tired. This won’t happen again.” You sighed, exasperated by both the exhaustion from the mission and the emotional toll it took on you.

You pushed past the man and made your way to the task force’s shared kitchen area. Hoping to get a fresh glass of water and some snacks before your inevitable break down. Of course Ghost, the stubborn man that he is, followed you. He wasn’t done with this situation and in his own way wanted to make sure you were okay so that you wouldn’t be distracted in future missions. You ignored the rest of your team sitting in the room and beelined straight for the kitchen cupboard, taking out an empty glass.

“This isn’t a joke Tigress. One mistake and it can cost you your life out there” 

“I know that!” You exclaimed in response to Ghost’s voice, not turning around to face the man who had followed you to the common area.

“Do you? Do you know that? Because today, out there it seemed like one of my soldiers was ready to put her life in danger because she wasn’t aware!”

Ghost waits for an answer but when he gets none he continued, “I can’t have you out there acting as if there is nothing for you to go back to back home”

“Well, there is nothing back home!” You yelled out, setting the glass not so gently on the counter. Immediately you closed your eyes in regret of your outburst. 

Ghost faltered for a second, the rest of the team watching you with your back turned to them

You faced the wall, feeling the sting grow stronger in your eyes. You tilted your face up towards the ceiling, hoping it would stave off the tears. The muscles in your jaw tensed as you clenched them in an attempt to keep your composure. 

“Tigress?”

You took a deep breath and turned to face your team. They watched as you faced them, your lip quivering as you fought to contain the sobs building in your throat, eyes brimmed with tears threatening to spill down your cheeks at any second. You rapidly blinked your eyes at the moisture building up in them. 

“I’m gonna go to sleep,” you said with a shaky voice.

“Hey, don’t pull away from us, please. Tell us what’s wrong” Gaz was the first one to break the silence, he got up and moved to stand in front of you. “Are you alright?” he asked, stretching his arms out towards you in a silent offering.

At the sound of his gentle voice the walls you so desperately built to shield your own heart broke. And with them your last composure. You sniffled a few times, inhaling the air up through your nose as your face twisted with both the emotional pain and the effort of not breaking down. You shook your head softly at him, words failing you at this moment due to the lump in your throat and the tight coil wrapped in your chest. You practically dove into Gaz’s outstretched arms, allowing yourself for the first time in years to have this comfort. His arms came down to wrap around you and in the safety of his embrace, the first sob escaped from where you tried to bury it down. The tears quickly followed and found their way down your cheeks. 

The two of you stood there for what felt like hours, Gaz gently rocking you from side to side. Years of built-up grief and anguish finally escaped from where you had buried those feelings deep within your heart, bubbling up into a series of broken sounds escaping your lips. After a few minutes, your sobs calmed down to a few quiet hiccups and sniffles. Another arm joined to draw comforting circles on your back, you tilted your head from where it was resting against Gaz’s chest to see Soap standing next to you. A warm smile on the Scotman’s face. 

“I- um…” you trailed off, your words interrupted by yet another sniffle. 

“Take your time lass,” answered Soap

You sent him a watery smile and pulled your sleeves over your hands to wipe at your eyes as well as your running nose. You coughed to clear the croakiness in your voice and took a deep breath in an effort to calm down.

“I had a husband years ago. We were married and even had a little girl together. This was before I joined the task force and everything,” you paused to accept a tissue from Price, you blew out your nose before continuing. “And well, they were both killed because of my involvement in a case. The target we were tracking sent out the hit.”

“Kid, I had no idea.” Price said, taking your used tissue from your hand and replacing it with a clean one. He may deny that he is the dad of the team, but all of you knew he cared for every single one of you.

“I didn’t want any of you to know. I tried putting that shit behind me. Didn’t want to talk about it, so I left it out of my file.” You explained and with a weak laugh you continue, “she would have been eight today. Her dad would always buy her those supermarket cakes, and if I wasn’t home she would insist I get one as well so that I could eat some cake too.”

All of your teammates’ hearts ached seeing how much pain you carried, how long you probably suffered and grieved for their losses without having anyone to comfort you. Never before had they seen you with this much pain in your voice, you were always the one who got the job done on missions. Who seemed like they had their life together and returned on leave to a happy home life.

You looked up after dabbing at your eyes with the tissue to see Price standing in front of you. You didn’t think you had any tears left in you but at the sight of your Captain, the unofficial dad of the team, with his arms out wide offering you a hug and a soft look in his eyes you felt the tears well up once again. 

You accepted Price’s hug and you felt the distinct lump in the back of your throat build up again and as much as you tried to will it away, it persisted and soon more sobs were forced from you. The smell of cigars and smoke enveloped you in the warmth of his embrace. Price only pulled you closer to his chest at the sound of your sobs, allowing you to fully bury your face into his shirt, no doubt wetting the fabric with your tears.

Soon Gaz joined you two, tears of his own in his eyes. Price reached up with one of his arms and pulled the younger man in. Soap followed shortly after and finally, you felt gentle yet firm arms enveloping all of you. You looked up to see Ghost, a rare soft look in his eyes and a silent apology for having pushed you for answers earlier. 

You felt safe here in the big, warm group hug of your teammates and slowly your sobs dwindled until they completely died down.

“I have some pictures I can show you guys,” you disentangled yourself from the group hug to move to one of the couches and took out your phone, scrolling past pictures of the task force members as well as pictures of your old team. You finally found your favourite picture, it shows your husband and daughter together, a tiger plushie clutched in your daughter’s hands. Your team gathered around as you showed them the picture.

“Wait, is that why?” Soap began to ask and you nodded.

“They were her favourite animal. And when she found out about codenames, she practically insisted on that being my codename”

“So like a secret spy!”

“Yes sweetie, it’s a secret spy name”

“Can you choose your own?”

“We can, or it’s a nickname given to us by our friends”

“Ooo how about Tiger? No! Tigress!”

“That’s an amazing idea, honey”

You took a moment to stare at the picture, smiling at how happy they both looked in it. Your hand which held the crumpled tissue reached up to lightly dab at the tears welling up in your eyes again. You accepted another tissue from Ghost this time, where he got them from you had no idea but you were grateful for it anyways. 

The rest of the evening was spent with all of you sharing various stories from over the years. Tucked in between your teammates, tired from the emotional day, you felt a sense of home. Something which you hadn’t felt in a long, long time.

[ferrocyan]

please tell us more about tart’s dad :3

oh this is gonna be so hard considering he has no name (and i will never give him one). this is a huge ramble www under the cut it goes

okay first of all: his reflection is kai-shirr. that boy is his spitting image, except tarts dad was older and had pale blue hair and eyes, hahah. that first time tart saw him on the kholusian coast felt like being gutted with deja vu. he was born in ilsabard, maybe around corvos, in a village of mixed miqo'te tribes. hes from a big family w many siblings and half-siblings. the second oldest and strongest of the boys, all set to be warriors who will defend their home from garlemald. he took good care of his little siblings as a kid, then started to take up mercenary work really young to help provide for the family. or well. actually it was to gain his fathers approval. bc his old man really, really hated that his son was gay. he kept trying to do more, be more famous and achieve impressive things, bring in more money, its no use. there was a limit to what a guy could do in backwater ilsabard. so he went okay! ill go be famous in eorzea and then youll see, pops!! so off he went, bumping into a young viera in the woods and becoming fast friends w him, then the two joined the wol and her elezen partner as a party of adventurers in ul'dah. and they got a full party later on and became friends forever (citation needed)! yay!!

he was always the moodmaker of the group. the guy who kept everyone lighthearted and motivated. though more like the big brother or nice senpai than a class clown. unfortunately unlike at home hes like the youngest in the party so it was pretty silly seeing him give pep talks to the other guys visibly older than him wwww. hes also the kind of guy to instantly jump into a situation whenever one came up like "no worries ill handle this one! oh god oh fuck–" well he always managed somehow. despite being impulsive and kinda dumb miss wol trusted him the most to handle situations w her and be her cotank hehehehe. hes also a crazy workaholic. like you wouldnt think so bc hes very sociable too but his days were like 50% work 40% shooting the shit w everyone in town 10% everything else. he thinks life can only get better when you achieve more!!! insane achievement hunter mindset going on here. theres always something to improve at everyday, or else something new to learn. he could not sit still and never spent more than 2 seconds at home. which you can imagine was pretty sad for tart. haha. but he was also a very positive and caring person, always looking for what he can compliment out of any and all situations. its so out of pocket too sometimes, but no matter, the important part is staying positive!

if that sounds like toxic positivity, ohhh yeah lmao this guy was. he certainly was. he would never, everrrr show anyone his negative or vulnerable side. hes the guy whos supposed to cheer everyone up! it wont do to have him bummed out! well he would never admonish anyone else for having issues, but himself, most definitely. if he had problems he would stop at nothing to solve them. if theyre unsolvable he would stop at nothing to do anything else that would count as an achievement to make himself feel better. oh yeah man this is totally never gonna backfire horribly and ruin the family you built with your own hands (citation needed)

uhh ok ill stop here and add more when i think of em. oh wait his job choice were warrior and monk altho more the latter now that mnk changes have brought balls into the game. fuck he wouldve loved monk balls so much lmfao

[wpmz]

a lil concept/design sheet of the gangs' costumes for my deltarune halloween comic! :]

multiple paragraphs of yapping about it under the cut bc i actually put way too much thought into who got which costume lol

i kept a few things in mind while trying to decide each character's costume, the biggest of which were probably A) it should still look good when combined with their dark world outfit B) i wanted them all to be classic halloween monsters (so no other characters like mario or minecraft steve or w/e) C) none of them could dress as a monster who is another major character in ut/dr just cuz i thought it'd be a little weird lol (so no skeletons or ghosts for example) and D) i tried to keep in mind each character's family life/accessibility to a costume in the first place (so kris + noelle have the more elaborate costumes vs berdly and susie having theirs be more low effort/over their normal clothes)

originally i had sketched susie as a zombie/frankenstein sorta creature, but then i remembered susie calling kris the 'school zombie' (plus kris's general zombie-like neutrality) so i ofc switched that over to kris. had the idea that the dark world would make their halloween costumes more 'real' so thats why their brain is out in that one lol

didn't have too many other ideas for susie, as a lot of the ones i was having broke some of the rules i listed above. at first i was thinking maybe werewolf but i felt that the ears/tail might lean a little too cutesy for her, and then i was thinking maybe like godzilla-esque but didn't know how to do that when susie is already vaguley godzilla-esque by herself. i also wanted to keep her costume looking more low-effort due to her parents (if they even exist) probably not caring enough to get a nice costume. which is how we ended up at toilet paper mummy susie

noelle is a witch because i thought it'd be cute + i wanted her to be matching with catti (who i think would also obviously be a witch for halloween). her costume is the most elaborate (complete with matching candy pail), both because i think she'd like dressing up for halloween and well. the mayor's daughter certainly has appearances to keep up doesnt she? (also quite proud of her little shawl changing to look sort of like angel wings in the dark world :] )

berdly i also struggled with. my first impulse was to make him some kinda video game character, but like i said i kind of wanted them all to be more classic halloween monsters, plus i didn't really think any of those ideas would mesh well with his dark world outfit. ended up going with vampire bc i feel like its one of the more nerd-coded halloween monsters out there. i liked drawing his little fake fangs it makes him look silly

[moonlit-imagines]

Rekindled

Dick Grayson x Kyle!reader

warnings: guns/violence, death, brutality. like, the typical arkham game themes. not graphic, tho!! mostly mentions

a/n: this sorta takes place in the arkham knight storyline but you really dont have to know anything about that game to read this, i wanted to give enough detail bc i liked this idea and the arkham game fandom is under appreciated. also lowkey y/n is based on an oc but almost all my y/n’s are <3

prompt:

Gotham was on fire. You were dumb enough to stay behind. Selina had been MIA for longer than you were used to, and every effort of contact was futile. Last time this happened, she had been arrested and thrown into Arkham City, so it was needless to say that you were a bit worried.

Last thing she told you was that a “pretty worthless supervillain” needed her help with something, but she left it at that. Yeah, she had a habit of making herself scarce, but she was your only family and you two always kept in touch. And now that the evacuation was in effect, you felt even more uneasy.

You pulled on your suit, black leather and spandex hugging your body tighter as you zipped up. Pulled your gloves on, claws and all. Clicked the belt around your waist, equipping your small set of weapons and utilities. The headpiece was pretty simple, just some silly cat ears to match your aunt’s, along with the goggles for good measure.

Gotham was more dangerous than you’d ever seen, only delinquents like yourself roamed the streets. Except, they didn’t carry a code like you. Scarecrow caused a panic, this “Arkham Knight” had a personal vendetta to fill, the city was on its knees. Tanks were starting to load onto the islands, troops taking over buildings, and riots overwhelmed what little protection was left here. You knew a few places to go, but your best bet was the movie studios.

Panessa, Batman’s secret base with the Wayne name slapped right on the outside, it always made you smile when you saw it. You were hoping to find an ally inside, maybe someone who could help you find Aunt Selina.

And you may be thinking you’d just sneak inside like a lovely little cat burglar would, but why not try the front door. “Stray.” You spoke into the voice box and chuckled as the doors opened for you. “It’s like they were waiting for me to crawl on back.” You stepped inside and into the elevator and poked the down button, trusting the rickety old elevator to deliver you safely to the lower level.

When you stepped out, there was only one familiar face that wasn’t behind a pane of glass. Didn’t know Batman kept prisoners. “Y/N?” Robin asked from across the room, setting down his tablet to meet you halfway. “What the hell are you still doing in Gotham?”

“Selina’s missing and I didn’t want to leave without her. What’s…all this?” You motioned at the containment cells, starting to understand why there were prisoners when you noticed their Joker-esque features. The lot began to make trouble, beginning to harass and poke fun the same way that clown would.

“Ignore them. I’ll call Batman.” Tim told you. “Make yourself comfortable, I guess. You already broke in.”

“Broke in?” You scoffed. “I used the door, actually. Still have my little voice thing activated. I just had to say my name and I walked in. Kind of rude to assume I just break in just because I happen to be a burglar from time to time.” You ranted and heard a chuckle from Robin just before Batman answered his call.

“He wants to talk to you.” Tim called you over, holding out his arm in an awkward way to you could talk to Bruce.

“Tell me everything, y/n.” Batman instructed.

“Hey, good to see you, too. Uhh, yeah, so Lina said she was hired by some loser supervillain to steal something they needed. That was basically all she told me before she left, been a few days. Can’t get ahold of her.” You explained, looking over at Tim and shrugging. “She considers most of the so-called ‘supervillains’ of Gotham ‘losers,’ though, so it doesn’t really narrow it down.”

“Okay. Stay at the movie studios. I’ll look into it.” Batman hung up just like that and you rolled your eyes.

“Yeah, I’m not allowed to leave either. This…” Robin motioned to the Joker lookalikes, “is what Joker left behind in his death. All that infected blood from Arkham City, it wasn’t all caught, and I have to find a cure.” Robin went back to his tablet and you sat on a nearby chair. “Catwoman tell you much about the City?”

“Only that it was a shithole and Two-Face is a loser.” You started scrolling through the computer before you, reading little lab notes here and there. “How’s Oracle?”

“She’s in the city, of course. Refused to evac, wanted to help, but no one expected anything less.” Robin noticed you snooping, but let you continue. “Nightwing’s okay, too.” Your eyes peeked to the side and your brows raised. “Well, not really. Ego’s bruised since Harley Quinn and Poison Ivy kicked his ass the other night.” You laughed out loud, quite amused by the news.

“Good, he probably needed it.” You leaned back in the chair. “You know, I could probably help out there.”

“I already tried, Batman said to stay here.” Tim sighed.

“I don’t work for Batman. Maybe I wanna go kick some ass and try to find my aunt.” You explained, only half-jokingly. If was only seconds after that projections of the Riddler showed up all over Gotham. “Oh, brother. Not this guy.” You groaned, watching Nygma go on about his plan until Catwoman appeared on screen, causing you to bolt up and out of your chair. You would have run for it now if not for his explicitly telling you to stay away.

“Oh, and Stray, dear? Keep away, please. This is for Batman and Batman only, and if you get too close I might just…oh, well, you know.” Riddler chuckled at the insinuation that he’d detonate the bomb around Selina’s neck. Robin looked to you, noticing you were completely flush as you watched the broadcast.

“Y/N, he’s won’t let Nygma do anything to her. Try to stay calm.” Tim tried to snap you out of it, which only caused you to transition from fear to rage, jumping up from the chair and pacing around to keep from hitting him.

“Just…shut up, T—Robin. Shut up.” Your claws were drawn and you were steadying your breathing before things got ugly for everyone. More taunts were thrown at you from the Joker-infected and you needed to get the hell out of here, so you headed for the elevator.

“Wait, hey! Y/N, you can’t go out there, it’s not safe.” Robin jogged up beside you, but you ignored him. “You can’t save her right now, Riddler is obsessed with besting Batman. You can’t interfere or it’s over.” You stepped into the elevator and just as you were about to press the button, “Dick is in the city.” You paused.

“Why do I care?” You rolled your eyes and watched Robin pull a wrist communicator from his belt.

“You care.” He handed you the comm. “You can call any of us with that. We have our locations on, too. Keep in touch.”

“Where is he?” You sheepishly asked, looking down at your boots. You knew Tim had a stupid, told-you-so smirk on his face.

“Near the docks, he’s working on something. He’ll probably need your help.” Your eyes sort of lit up when you heard that, but you quickly took yourself back to reality knowing Tim was just trying to make sure you weren’t alone out there. For Dick’s sake.

You were still considered apart pf the family, even if Selina and Bruce weren’t a thing at the moment and you and Dick had gone your separate ways. You still caught yourself thinking about Dick Grayson often, wondering what could have been, what you would have done differently, why you guys even chose to leave. Sometimes it made sense, sometimes you struggled not to pick up the phone.

But now you stood on the rooftop of Panessa Studios, looking out to a city in ruins. A city in need of saving. As much as you respected Bruce, there’s no way you believed he could do this all alone. And if he was going to save your aunt, maybe you should lend a helping hand in the meantime. You fiddled with the device on your wrist, trying to get the hang of the new model communicator until you found Nightwing’s contact programmed in. Clicking the button made your stomach drop, you froze up as the line rang.

This comm was given to you, but wasn’t updated in the system as yours, so Nightwing answered the message from Batcom #1 and was shocked to see your beautiful face waiting for his answer. “Y/N! Are you…are you still in Gotham?” Dick’s calling of your name was embarrassingly high-pitched, but he recovered it upon his question. “Please tell me you’re not here.”

“Dick, I’m wearing cat ears and my aunt is being held hostage at the moment, of course I’m here.” You sarcastically answered, just like he remembered. “Tim gave me this thing, said I could go help out if I wanted. Just have to stay away from Riddler stuff for the night.” You explained, showing the Panessa Studios sign in the background.

“Yeah?” You could see Dick’s smile, like he and Tim knew exactly how to plan and you just wouldn’t figure it out. But despite this cold, brutal night, you felt all warm and fuzzy inside when that smirk grew on his face, you knew he was happy to have this opportunity. “I kind of need a partner for what I’ve got going on, Penguin’s doing something shady down by the docks. Wanna join me?”

“I could get behind that.” He sensed a bit of flirtation in your voice. “Meet you there?”

“I’m already here, why don’t I meet you in the middle? It’s really bad out here…” Dick rubbed the back of his neck nervously, thinking he’d come on too strong.

“You’re worried about me?” You chuckled and he told himself his suspicions were true. “How sweet.” You began walking to the edge of the roof, beginning to plot your path to avoid any psychopaths that may try to murder or kidnap you. “It’s not that far, I’ll be fine.” You hung up on him and he took a deep breath. Seeing his ex, probably his first love, after a long, long hiatus, it probably freaked him out more that Gotham’s takeover right now.

You barely felt the nerves he did, you knew you had a certain power over him. Not that you’d like to use it, not like you used to. Getting away with petty little crimes with your charm until you finally gave him a chance, let him show you the other side of things. Betraying that trust would put you down the wrong path once again.

Dick waited patiently for you, staring at the rooftops you may travel across to try and spot you, completing ignoring the smoke and flames from below. Running into trouble up there wouldn’t be much of a problem, everyone was busy robbing stores and shooting each other on the ground. You’d heard about some freaky bodies strung up on rooftops, some more Riddler shenanigans hidden around the place. Honestly, it didn’t surprise you much. This was Gotham City, where anything could happen.

Soon you found yourself just a few more steps from your past. You and Nightwing, both masked, stood across from each other with only a gap between buildings between you. With a graceful leap, you swung above the road and landed right beside the vigilante, who was a bit too stunned to speak, but he was the famed Dick Grayson…he doesn’t stay quiet for long. “Nice landing.” His smooth voice made you smirk involuntarily.

“Hope I didn’t keep you waiting.” You rolled your whip up and clipped it back to your belt.

“Eh, you did…but I’m willing to forgive and forget.” He quipped in his nonchalant tone, same boy you’ve always known. “Bat bossing you around?”

“Yeah, he wanted me to stay at that run-down movie studio. I really wasn’t about it.” You sighed, looking down at the arms deal below. “But I guess you know the feeling a lot better than me. I never really listened to the guy, you know?”

“Oh, I know.” Nightwing chuckled, kneeling down by the ledge. “You’re my inspiration for breaking away. Always giving Bruce shit, not taking him seriously. He hated it.”

“Hated me?” You asked him, wide-eyed.

“Actually, I think it was the reason he liked you so much back then. Usually people see him as like, an authority figure.” Nightwing explained, still observing the Penguin goons below. “And the people who didn’t listen were usually still a little afraid of him. But you were just that ‘kid’ who never quite listened and didn’t quite care.” You chuckled at some old memories that came back to you with his words. Memories of awkward patrols and first encounters with Batman and the first Robin. You and him were so young back then. So young and so hopeless.

“So you’re saying he approved of me?” You teased with a taunting smirk and poked Nightwing in the arm, causing him to scoff and roll his eyes. “Oh, yeah, the big bad Batman approved of the poor little street cat.”

“Well, as close to approval as possible. He is still a hardass.” Nightwing realized in that moment how easy it was to fall into your old ways. No awkwardness, just two people who have a bond you can’t break with time. “So, uh, these guys down here.”

“Righttt, the Penguin guys. North Refrigeration, huh? Man, you’d think Oz wouldn’t be so predictable.” You remarked as a car sped past you on the street behind, shooting an automatic rifle into the sky, but you paid little mind to it. “Remember the Iceberg Lounge? He must really like the cold.”

“He’s definitely got a gimmick.”

“Don’t we all?” You pointed to the cat ears on your headpiece and you both burst into quiet chuckles. “Are we gonna go down there or what, Dickie?” Your nickname for him made his heart flutter.

“Bruce wanted me to wait, he’s got a plan.” Nightwing sighed. “I’m only listening now because of how insane it is tonight, but I wish he’d let us handle it ourselves. He needs a break.”

“I think we all do.” You crossed your legs on the concrete rooftop and wrapped your arms around them, looking past the illegal activities below and over at the city skyline across the water. “If we all make it out of here alive, I think it’s time I leave Gotham.” You stared in silence for a few moments, pretending not to realize Dick staring at your profile. “Wanna do my thing and not listen to Bruce?” You snapped out of it and raised your eyebrows in a playful way. “You can’t say no, it’s not in my nature to listen to big strong men.”

“You wanna go bother these guys down here? They’re just doing their jobs.” He joked, getting up to play your game.

“Oh, well that’s too bad.” You shrugged, nearing the edge of the roof. “Maybe I just wanna say ‘hi.’”

“Oh, well if that’s all you wanna do.” Nightwing stood beside you and you both took a quick leap from the building to the ground, startling the group of thugs and interrupting their very important work.

“Shit! Catwoman?” One of the thugs asked before getting punched in the gut by yourself.

“Hah, he deserved that! Rest of us know who you are, Ronnie’s just a dumbass.” Another thug assured you before Nightwing shocked him with an escrima stick. You both took turns knocking around these cronies until all of them were laid out across the ground, only ones left were hiding inside of the van beside you.

“That was fun.” Nightwing nudged you with his elbow as you walked side by side to the back of this van. “We’ll have to do that again sometime.”

“How about when we find their hideout?” You suggested, knocking on the van doors. They flung open and were shocked to see two vigilantes waiting for them, then desperately drove off just as you’d planned. Nightwing grabbed you by the waist, pulled you close, and used his grapple gun to bring you both back the the rooftops so you could easily follow the van without being spotted. It was a bit off-guard, being pulled in like that, but you didn’t mind at all.

After some time and a bit of flirty remarks here and there, you both made it to the Penguin’s hideout. “You sure you’re in? There’s a lot of people in there, we can still wait for Bruce.”

“Come on, Dickie. It’s nothing we haven’t done before.” You tilted your head to have him come along with you and led him to an unconventional entrance. “It’s gonna be tons of fun, you’ll see.” You opened the rooftop vent and slid down first, crawling beneath the floor and estimating how many men you’d be going up against with your infrared goggles. Probably twenty or so, but you and Dick had trained together for a long time, it would all come back to you in an instant—you hoped.

The both of you popped out from the shadows and immediately started beating on these criminals, watching them all scramble to figure out how to react. “Told you, fun!” You called out to Dick, tossing a pair of bolas at a goon’s legs causing him to trip right into Nightwing’s roundhouse.

“Never doubted you for a moment!” Nightwing answered, pushing another thug your way so you could catch his arm with your whip, pulling his fist into his face. “Ouch! Why’d you do that, man?” Nightwing punched your victim once again. “Starting to think you like getting hurt.” The two of you continued throwing punches in sunch a calculated, synchronized way, catching a few as well. Once a thug managed to land a punch to your face, Nightwing was right to the rescue. “You okay?”

“Never better, baby.” You held your cheek and he worried you’d got a concussion for a moment before realizing you called everyone “baby.” Dazed, he also caught a punch to the back, knocking the final thug down with only his elbow. “That was it? That wasn’t even a challenge, that was a warm-up.” You told Dick, who was still kind of staring at you. “Hey, I told you I’m fine, don’t worry.” You smiled.

“It’s not that.” Dick chuckled. “It’s just, I’m thinking about what you said earlier.”

“What’d I say?” You kicked a guy’s arm away from your foot, wondering what Dick meant.

“About leaving Gotham…I’ve got an extra room at my place.” Dick shamelessly offered, but you could hear the nervousness in his voice.

“An extra room? Did you move apartments?” You raised a brow and saw his cheeks turn red under his mask.

“Uh, well…no.” He rubbed the back of his neck with his gloved hand. “I have extra room in my bed, though…if you’re down.” You stared at him, shocked and expressionless. Not many people could do that to you. “I don’t want to put you on the spot, and I don’t want to make you uncomfortable. I don’t expect anything out of you, but y/n, I want you in my life again.”

“…What?” You quietly answered him, still dumbfounded by the sudden proposal. You absolutely loved seeing him tonight, and you loved fighting beside him, and you loved him. It was like everything was coming back together.

“I left Gotham, I left everything behind. I left you behind. And I know that was both of our decisions, but if you’d just leave Gotham with me tonight, after all of this is over, I’d like to start over with you however you’d like.” Dick and you stood below these dim string lights in this criminal base surrounded by beaten foes, piles of money, and loads of firearms. A hell of a place for a romantic speech like this. “I just realized how much I was missing without you. And all the dangers of tonight, and you and I getting stuck here. I don’t want to be apart again, y/n.” He confessed to you.

You both quietly stood there a moment, not knowing what to do. You were still sweating from the fighting that had concluded a few minutes ago. Still breathing heavy with a fast heartbeat, but now for a new reason.

You said it yourself, you wanted to leave. Tonight solidified that decision. And Selina would understand. You were a Stray, you went where it was good for you, and maybe Blüdhaven would be good for you. It wasn’t on fire nearly as much, didn’t have as many supervillains, wouldn’t give you a target on your back.

And it had him.

And he was offering you everything.

And without another thought, you took a few paces forward into his arms and pulled his face in for a deep kiss, hands carefully cupping his cheeks as not to scratch them. Dick was surprised at first, but couldn’t resist what he’d been wanting since he left for Blüdhaven. He wrapped his arms around your waist and slowly kissed you back, the passion was still there. Both of you felt it.

You pulled away slightly and gazed into his eyes, both smiling stupidly from the kiss. “Does this mean you’ll come with me? Please say it does.”

“Yeah, Dickie, I’ll come with.”

taglist: @ravenmoore14 // @summersimmerus // @xoxobabydolls // @evilcr0ne // @thedarkqueenofavalon // @elenavampire21 //

[tabbedtabby]

calamitous love and insurmountable grief

johanna mason x reader

summary: On a hard grieving day for you, you recall an old holiday celebrated centuries before Panem.

a/n: valentine’s day oneshot!!! happy valentine’s day! inspired by a round of frantic fanfic me and my friends did (ty ruby) and the title is a lyric from the lakes by taylor swift bc i barely slept and don’t want to think of anything better. implied fem reader

cw: cringe 😓

words: 1.9k

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Your head lies limply on Johanna’s lap, your face expressionless as you stare deeply into nothing in particular. It was just one of those days for you. One day you’d wake up and be completely fine, skipping down the tile to the shops that make up the streets of District 7. The next, the memories would come surging back twice as strong and ferociously crippling as the last. The images of the dead stained under your eyelids; family, friends, even the soldiers you’d hardly taken the time to know during your fight against the Capitol. Some lost to your own hands, but most to Snow. It seemed impossible to think that he couldn’t reach you here, trying your hardest to forget about the Hunger Games and the war and the people you’ve lost. You’ve been trying to enjoy the little things again in this past month, taking a train out to District 7 with your girlfriend after Snow was assassinated, if you could call it that, really. Swarmed by the mob after Katniss’ arrow found Coin’s heart instead.

It happens to Johanna, too, so she gets it. She simply rests one hand in between the strands of your hair, her fingers brushing through the pieces as she fights with her own memories. She never knows quite what to say with these things, how to help. Often she opts for silence. She hasn’t cared for someone like this in so long. But Johanna has come to learn that her touch helps you more than words ever could. The feeling of her hands stroking your hair calms you, sedates that awful feeling that always seems to rise up into your throat like bile. It hasn’t taken long for her to learn how to calm your fears with just one simple touch, even if it’s something that goes unspoken between the two of you. Like a covert oath held together by the most lenient of hands, gentle fingers that have a tendency to care. Johanna’s touch is the type that draws all of the emotion out of you, like a magnet to its opposite end. Her hands absorb your fear and lead your mind to simpler things. A lantern in the dark, the only star in a polluted sky. Your mind wanders as you try to remember what you wanted to say to her.

“Did you know that before Panem, there was this holiday? About love. And you’d buy stuff for them. Like, your lover. It was called Valentine’s Day. Reading about it always made me wish I was alive back then.” you say, your brain reeling back to all those history books you’ve been reading to pass the time. You can almost feel Johanna’s eyebrow raise above you.

“Who wouldn’t? Worrying about stupid shit like that instead of getting reaped for a death match,” Johanna sneers, although the ferocity in her words isn’t directed at you. It never is. She’s always seemed to have a soft spot for you in that way.

“Yeah… it would have been today, you know. February 14th.” you say hesitantly, and your mind wanders back to those pages. The stores with the synthetic white lights overhead that illuminate the rows of heart-shaped boxes filled with chocolate delicacies. You’ve only ever had chocolate in the Captiol because of just how expensive it is. You’ve never been able to wrap your head around the idea of it being sold for so cheap, so common that it was purchased by millions to offer to their lovers. How simple their world seems to you. So different from the Panem you know. The Panem that condones violence, prejudice, the slaughter of children. But that Panem is one of the past now, too. Maybe humankind could return to such a silly holiday that revolves around love and stupid things like chocolate and flowers. Maybe Panem could finally heal after all the damage that was dealt.

Suddenly, you shoot up from Johanna’s lap, an idea forming in your head. Johanna just stares at you expectantly as you attempt to sort your thoughts into comprehendable words. Usually, it’s to no avail, but you need these words to reach Johanna’s ears right now or you’re going to explode.

“We should celebrate! We can both go out into town and get a gift for each other. It doesn’t have to be traditional, or anything too fancy. But I want to get you something. We can just pretend we really did live back then, before Panem. Before any of this.” you say, pushing the words out excitedly at the thought of celebrating anything at all, really. The aftermath of the war has been heavy and overbearing. There hasn’t been much room for fun or excitement or any of the childish feelings receiving a gift entails. This prospect is what has your eyes looking expectantly up at Johanna, on the edge of your seat for a response from her.

“Sounds stupid, but fine. Only because you look like you’re about to throw up.” Johanna decides, rolling her eyes, but you can see the small smile on her lips when she stands up. The excitement fizzes in your stomach as soon as the words leave her mouth. Something to look forward to! Not only that, but you get to give a gift to Johanna in return. This was the best thing that’s happened to you probably since you saw the life leave Snow’s eyes. Your life was filled too much with remorse and grief for your liking; even this small celebration was sure to bring some light back to your world.

Johanna is someone special. The only person left on this earth you’re sure you love. She’s not just anyone to bestow a gift upon, she’s Johanna Mason, for fuck’s sake, so you have to make sure you buy something meaningful. Something that she’s sure to cherish until her dying days. You sling some coins in your pocket and head out the door, heading in the opposite direction as Johanna into town so that you don’t run into each other while buying the gifts. Although, you’re both pretty famous around here so you doubt the shopkeepers will actually charge you for anything. The entirety of the country knew you as survivors of the Hunger Games, so most typically go pretty easy on you and Johanna. Even if their pity makes Johanna want to tear their limbs off one by one.

Your excitement shows by the way your feet bound you out onto the streets, taking quick glances at all of the shops open in the middle of the week. But as you bounce down the tile, you suddenly slow and realize you have no idea what a meaningful gift for Johanna would actually be. Being so soon after the war, chocolate was out of the question. Flowers were too simple; hell, if Johanna wanted flowers, she could have picked some in your yard herself. You think of getting something to aid her hobbies, but she doesn’t have many hobbies really except for cutting wood with an axe, and she’s already got plenty of those.

You begin to feel a bit defeated now as you wander around town, your bag of coins still clutched unused in the palm of your hand. You haven’t known Johanna for too long, but you thought you at least knew her better than this. You almost turn around until your eyes catch on the blacksmith shop.

On the front of the stand hangs an axe that must be completely forged out of metal, the sleek black and silver parts illuminated by the sunlight. It’d be impossible for it not to catch your eye walking down the path, the way that it shines in the very front of the stall. It must be a premium, because you’ve never seen an axe with a steel handle like that before. It’s heavy, sure, but Johanna’s managed to rebuild a lot of the muscle she lost when captured by spending so much time hacking away at firewood. Now that you think about it, the axes she uses must be older than she is because when she comes back home, you always have to fish splinters out of her fingers with your tweezers. As soon as that shiny, new titanium reaches your eyes, your coins are practically already in the blacksmith’s pockets.

No matter how much of your trauma was broadcasted on national television, a weapon like that is going to cost you a fortune. But the blacksmith recognizes you and offers to put something on the handle for free. You watch intently as he carves you and Johanna’s initials onto the handle with a small, neat heart on the end. Just the sight of it makes your lips raise in a smile with pride.

On your way back to Victor’s Village, you pick up a small box for the axe and buy some red ribbon to wrap around it, just for added effect. When you arrive home, Johanna’s already waiting outside for you, a larger, flatter box slung under her arm. She looks a bit bored, but her green eyes catch on you as you approach.

“Sorry. Took me forever.” you mutter through your grin as you walk up to her, already placing your box in her hands. Johanna smiles similarly, her lips a small smirk as the sunlight catches in her eyes. You can see the small flecks of brown in her eyes, a brighter green in the light than typical. Her hair has grown back curlier than before, the wavy strands ending just below her ears. You miss the red streaks in her hair. You wonder if she will dye them again once hair dye begins to be produced and sold again.

When Johanna takes the box from your hands, it’s almost like she can recognize the weight of an axe instantly. Growing up in District 7 will do that. “Nothing light, huh?” she grins, her eyebrows raising a bit knowingly as she tostles the box around a bit, hearing the metal slosh against the cardboard of the box. You can’t help but think she looks beautiful like that, with the sun dappled over her skin. You watch her almost distractedly until she hands you the box she had kept under her arm.

“Here, before I open mine.” Johanna says, her smirk widening just a bit as she looks at you intently. You smile back up at her as you take the box from her hands. It’s quite flat and almost weightless. You nearly drop it from expecting something heavier. You look up at her in question, and she just tells you to open it again. You roll your eyes, but the smile doesn’t leave your face as you gently take the top off of the box.

Your brows furrow in confusion as you slowly take your hand to touch the fabric in the box. It’s a piece of clothing. You gently unfold it, letting the box fall to the floor. It’s a dress, originally white, but cream around the edges with age. But it’s clear it’s well cared for, not a single stitch missing or a piece of lace misplaced. It’s beautiful. You nearly gape your mouth in shock as you run your fingers along the white satin, the pattern forming small flowers, and it feels silky smooth beneath your touch. Your eyes raise back to Johanna, the emotion clear in your gaze as she looks back at you with pride in her small smirk.

“I looked into one of your history books. White for weddings, right?”

[c-kiddo]

Hi, I hope this question makes sense but as a fellow Clay family enjoyer, I felt there was some confusion between Clarabelle and Calliope at the end of campaign two - I thought Clarabelle was supposed to be the baby of the family with fun hair who makes things and is just happy to have Cad back, and Calliope is the older one who is more warrior-like and had the jealousy of Cad getting to save the world when it was 'her turn'. The scene with Matt and Taliesin after the M9 gets back from the astral sea seems to mix that up a bit, to me. You're very tuned into them so I'd just like to ask, did you pick up on any confusion there, or is it just me who misunderstood them from the start? And what do you think of the comic's characterisation of the two? Ofc only answer if you feel like it, have a lovely day 🌿

ye they get calliope and clarabelle mixed up basically the entire campaign, but at least to me its been pretty clear (at least after their first appearance) that clarabelle is the youngest sibling + feral art and bugs and rainbow hair kid. i remember people trying to argue she was the warrior one and like. no lol calliope has always been that one but matt just mixes up their names. she introduced herself to yasha in ep96 and was tough and yasha flirted with her its obviously not belle lol. idk ye maybe its bc i have autism abt the clay family but yarr. they did also confirm on twitter that belle is the art one and calliope is the warrior one , and then belle is in the comic as the wee art kid, so thats basically all the confirmation you need. (also reminds me of poor colton getting called colin accidentally by cad </3 maybe he just rly doesnt like him wont even call him his name)

i thought clarabelle in the comic was alright, restless and naive and stuff. i wish she was a little more weird and silly like in the show but i guess its a stressful situation so its whatever. the comic doesnt rly have enough pages to flesh out that kind of thing so it is what it is. calliope isnt in the comic apart from in the background in a flashback so i have no thoughts abt that .

[my-castles-crumbling]

hello cas! how are you?

i just wanted to ask something, i dont know, maybe have a little validation? im not sure

i have and regularly use a tumblr blog, and im an active ao3 author who will often project onto characters, both because its easier to write what i know and also because it makes for good storytelling. theres one thing though that i never talk about, not on my blog and not in my writing, but i feel like i should be?

i dont remember the silly medical word for it, but theres some condition on my dad's side of the family where weve got a higher chance of going blind, and usually earlier in life than most. my aunt has it, my grandfather had it, my older brother has it, and i have it. i didnt know my grandfather bc he died before i was born, but i know it only started affecting my aunt a little into her 50s, though it was much earlier for me and my brother (hes 27 and has about 50% of his vision, and im 20 and have about 70%, and for both of us what we have is also very blurred)

again, its not really something i talk about. ive been learning braille for when the inevitable comes (so far ive learned the alphabet and common conjunctions i can expect, so now im moving onto becoming more comfortable and confident feeling it all out) and honestly im pretty okay about it. its not that ive given up, im just... neutral? i have my peace with it. im working with what ive got or whatever, i dunno

but i feel like i should be... doing something with it? like, sharing my experience or using my writing to create representation. im always reading about people projecting their disabilities onto characters (especially remus, in place of his lycanthropy in muggle aus) like deafness, or epilepsy, or chronic pain, or migraines, but i rarely read about blind characters/sight impaired characters, and i just wonder like... should i be writing that? should i be doing something?

i dont know if this even makes sense haha. i just feel some sort of obligation to talk about it, but especially because i already project onto my characters with my mental health issues etc it almost feels like id also be writing about myself *too* much? it feels like theres no winning

im also sort of nervous that if i *did* bring it up on my blog now, that people might think im just making it up or something because ive never mentioned it before. i also dont know everything about it, and if people asked me something i didnt have an answer to, im afraid of that too. as though just because im losing my vision i should know every single thing there is to know about blindness. its silly and i know that, but it still makes me nervous to talk about it after all this time

Hi! <3

I understand why you feel this way, but please know that you don't owe anyone anything just because you have a disability. You're not obligated to be an activist or educator, in any way, shape, or form. There are plenty of aspects of my life I choose not to talk about and boundaries I draw when it comes to talking about my life on tumblr, and that's okay! Nobody who is part of a group that needs representation has to be the person to create that representation. For example, while I work to create trans representation in my writing, I choose not to address a lot of my childhood trauma. Sure, I could write about having a parent who is an addict, but I choose not to, and that's a choice I'm allowed to make, just as you are!

However, if you DO choose to talk about it and someone accuses you of faking? 1. Ew. Block them. 2. Send them to me. That's horrible and they need to be yelled at.

Naming you validation anon

[johnmurphysgirl]

PREVIOUS —> CHAPTER TWO

Pair: Thorin Oakenshield x FemOC

Genre: Fluff, angst, found family, heartbreak bc im secretly satan.

Word count; 3,298

NIENNA WOKE WITH A START, LONG BEFORE THE BREAK OF DAY; unlike Bilbo, who was still sound asleep without a care in sight, despite the silly dreams. He has no plan on waking or silly wonders of adventure.

Nienna, however, went straight to the kitchen with a renewed vigor as excitement trampled through her like an Oliphaunt in the wild. Of course, she does debate about waking him; but, seeing as she's needed in the kitchen for the breakfast Bilbo promised that has yet to be made, and she's fairly certain he'll wake eventually. Nienna doesn't think about it any longer. She hums quietly to herself; the song of the dwarves. The misty mountains. It was quite a catchy tune, and it gave her something to do whilst she waits for the last egg to finish frying, so she can start on the ham.

Nienna has just put the ham on, when Thorin enters the room with Filli and Kili behind him, followed by Dwalin and Gloin; and before Nienna knows it, all of her companions minus Bilbo are in the room. "Good morning!" Nienna greets them all with a smile so bright, Thorin had to look away from it; for it was slightly breathtaking and it would do him more harm than good to see it. He was still doubting their use on this quest, because after all, he still cannot promise their safety. Although, he'd like to.

"And a good morning to you, Miss. Greenwater," says Gandalf, smiling down at her with an odd look in his eyes that she's absolutely clueless on what it meant; but she again doesn't think much about it.

"Was that our song you were humming on just now?" Kili asks the question all the dwarves were thinking; especially Thorin, but he of course would admit to no such thing. Not one little bit of it, for he is doing just fine pretending to be a stone wall and only speaking to her whenever it is necessary. And if he had to do it at all, it would be more as a distance than anything.

"Yes!" Nienna breaths, her excitement growing steadier by the minute as she puts Thorin's plate in front of him first, and then Gandalf, and so on. "It's quite a beautiful little song, and its feeling is not so lost on me, as one might think, Kili. We may be small folk; but we sure do love a good song."

"That is fair enough, Miss. Greenwater," says Thorin, finally, as he picks up his tea. "Maybe there will be a time, yet, that you will grace the Lonely Mountain with song again."

Nienna is so surprised by the sentiment, she nearly drops her own plate right onto the floor. Oh, how angry Bilbo would have been; but she manages to save it in the nick of time. Nienna conceals her surprise by a flattered smile. Especially as each dwarf give a shout of agreement with Thorin, and Gandalf even raises his glass in her direction. As flattered as she is, Nienna is ten times more confused by the hot vs cold behavior; and starting to get deeply worried that Bilbo has yet to awaken.

"Ah, pay ye no mind, lass," Bofur informs Nienna. "Even if we get on with our journey, master Baggins will catch up. I'm sure of it."

Nienna nods. He is right. Bilbo had said the night before he would go, and she knows good and well that he is usually a man of his word. There's absolutely no way he'd abandon Nienna to a dangerous adventure without him. She smiles again and finishes her last bite of ham and starts to stand to clear the table when Thorin clears his throat to stop her.

"Leave it; there's not a moment to waste. Break of day is approaching and we cannot wait any longer."

Thorin stands and approaches the mantle, where he places a note for Bilbo underneath one of the things on the mantelpiece. Nienna frowns. Not for the last time; but she isn't really given a chance to argue as one by one the dwarves reclaimed their hoods and weaponry, only waiting for a couple of extra minutes for Nienna to retrieve her bag with items she needs for the journey. Including an extra pocket-handkerchief just in case.

Despite the hope and excitement of the unknown; Nienna's fear returns to her instantly, as they pass the Water's Edge. Leaving the only home she has ever known isn't easy. It's possible it could have been easier, if Bilbo had woken to come with them, but he hadn't and she can't rely on him for everything. Gandalf wants her to come for a reason. Even if she doesn't quite believe his moral compass clarification. So, she keeps moving, her eyes looking straight ahead and she doesn't look back, not once.

The sights alone are extraordinary. As soon as they left the Shire behind them, Nienna couldn't stop pointing at various things; things others might seem as quite silly. After all, the Shire has flowers and trees, but Nienna insists these ones are much, much different. Nienna is almost overwhelmed with excitement. The world beyond the Shire is absolutely breathtaking, and she can't believe she's never ventured this far on her own. The sky seems brighter somehow; as if to give her a little reprieve before the true adventure starts, or maybe she's being a tad pessimistic.

The Green Dragon Inn is an odd sort of place; but it is where Nienna and the Dwarves stop for preparation for their journey, and this is where they'll be meeting Bilbo; should he show up on time. Bywater is a place Nienna has only heard about. Despite her big talk of adventure and dreams, she's only been to Bree and even that was a short visit. She almost wishes there was time to explore the Inn before their inevitable departure; but alas there was only time for her to try a sip of ale, before they're off in search of ponies and provisions for the trip.

Time is a fickle thing; it can creep up on you slowly when you least expect it, and that's exactly how Nienna feels as she sits atop her pony, waiting and hoping against all hope that Bilbo shows up. It's almost eleven now. There's only ten minutes to spare, and despite Bofur's reassurance that morning, she's beginning to think Bilbo isn't gonna show at all; and then she'll be forced to act as their burglar in his stead and leave him behind.

"Wait!" A shout brings Nienna's head to swivel backwards and a grin to spread across her face. It turns out, the Hobbit worried for nothing; as Bilbo makes a mad dash for them. "Wait!" A bit of a funny sight, truly, as he had left the house without even a hat on his head. Nor any of his things.

"Up you two get, and off we go!" Says Thorin, who has been up until now quite impatient to start the journey; as it's thanks to him that the ponies were gotten along with parcels and other preparations for the journey.

"I'm awfully sorry," says Bilbo. "But I have come without my hat, and I have left my pocket-handkerchief behind, and no money. I didn't get your note until 10:45 to be precise."

"Don't be precise," counters Dwalin. "And don't worry! You'll have to manage without pocket-handkerchiefs and a great many other things before our journey's end. As for a hat, I have a spare hood and cloak in my luggage."

"I had a feeling you might have run off without a handkerchief, Bilbo," calls Nienna as Dwalin digs in his luggage for a cloak and hood for him. She rifles through the pocket on her knapsack and pulls out the extra one she grabbed for him. Nienna carefully pulls her pony until she's directly beside Bilbo on his, and hands it to him. "You're awfully forgetful, so I knew well enough to grab one for you."

"Now, since that is settled. We must be off," says Thorin once more, although looking a little bit more pleased.

*⋆*❀❁❀*⋆*❀❁❀*⋆*❀❁❀*⋆*❀❁❀

Gandalf made his appearance on a great white horse very soon in their journey, bearing Bilbo's pipe tobacco and Nienna's spare hat. Bilbo's spirits were lifted immediately after that. They rode on. Nienna told stories from the Shire to anyone willing to listen, and sang songs and laughed merrily throughout their trip; only pausing in all those things at meal times. And while, there was a longing feeling of homesickness welling inside her chest at being the furthest from home she's ever been, there is also a sense of belonging. The dwarves are exceptional company. And while most still had doubt in their minds about the two Hobbits; their spirits were high and welcoming. Even Thorin has warmed up some.

The world was as beautiful as Nienna had dreamed; at least for the first little while through their trip. The lands turn from beautiful and bright as any day in May as they passed out of the Hobbit-lands and into strange ones; but soon enough they came through the Lone-Lands. The weather which once brought Nienna to sing, brought dark clouds and a rain so cold and wet that Nienna was becoming more depressed than she's ever felt in her life. This is not like the adventures she has heard about. Although, she pushes on steadily clinging to the hope swirling in her chest.

To dungeons deep and caverns old.

The song had quickly become a lifeline for her; to hold onto that hope and loss. To anchor herself, for this is only the beginning. Try as she might to forget Gandalf's word; she can't shake it, and even if this weather puts a damper on her mood, she bears a brave face and a smile for all of them. To brighten the darkness and appear stronger than she felt.

We must away ere break of day.

"To think it will soon be June," Grumbles Bilbo, who has not the same thought process as Nienna.

Nienna's eyes soften as she glances behind her at a particular grumpy facial expression on Bilbo's face. She understands. Far better than the dwarves, how Bilbo is feeling; after all, this is the furthest the two has ever been from home, and truth be told, the Hobbits are a very safe bunch. For they have their hobbies, farms, and water, and it rarely ever rains there. Bilbo has missed tea time for the first time in a long time.

"We will experience sunlight again, Bilbo," Nienna says softly, turning back to look ahead as her pony splashes in the muddy track. "This is one hurdle, but nothing we can't handle. Soon, we can appreciate the sun."

"Hear, hear," says Kili and echoed by Fili.

Kili has seemingly taken Nienna under his wing; partly on his own accord, and partly unbeknownst to the party, for Thorin; as he had pulled him aside earlier that day and given Kili the task of looking out for her when he cannot. Dori has made that same promise in regards to Bilbo. To protect them when Thorin is otherwise preoccupied.

To seek the pale enchanted gold.

Nienna is nearly starving by the time Thorin suggests making camp for the night, although they all were seemingly in agreement that it couldn't have been a worse night if it tried. There's barely a dry patch anywhere. It leads them uncomfortably underneath a tree, and while it was dry enough, the steady drip of water falling off leaves was grievously annoying. They had little left for supper by the time they were all settled down; they had lost one of the ponies and Kili nearly drowned before his provisions were swept down the river.

The dwarves of yore made mighty spells.

Nienna is first to notice the light off in the distance. Although, she'll soon wish she hadn't. Balin had offered her praise for her keen eyes, for he is normally their look-out man. The others, however, were not as easily swayed. Argument after argument, along with the very real notion that their Wizard is missing and wondering just where he had gotten off to, before they finally decided to go and see what they could about this light.

While hammers fell like ringing bells

"Now, it is our burglar's turn," says Thorin as they went further up the hill; the light shining brighter in between two massive tree trunks. "Come back quick, if all is well. If not, come back if you can! If you can't, hoot twice like a barn owl and once like a screech owl, and we will do as we can. Miss. Greenwater will stay with us to let you move about more quickly."

In places deep, where dark things sleep

Nienna tries not to look more worried than she is, as Bilbo disappears into the darkness. Before she can think better of it, she turns to peer up at Thorin.

"Do you think that's wise? To send him scurrying off in the dark all on his own? What if it is goblins or orcs up ahead, Thorin? What will he do, then?"

It appears she asked one too many questions, as he doesn't look like he wants to answer her at all; to others it may seem like an inconvenience, but to Thorin her challenging words had got him to thinking. At the same time, however, it was Gandalf who had said there was more to meet the eye on both Bilbo and Nienna, and for now it is Bilbo's turn to prove himself.

"All will be well with master Baggins," Thorin says, instead. "And if it's not, we will be one step behind him, I assure you, Miss. Greenwater."

Nienna has no choice now but to trust Thorin's word; it wasn't a very complicated thing for her to do, but she seemingly can't drown out her worry for her old friend, despite it. She impatiently taps her foot into the ground, bouncing unsteadily on the balls of her feet desperate to keep herself busy until Bilbo returns.

But he doesn't come.

Not in two or three minutes. Nor five. A ruckus is all that could be heard in the darkness, and with a sinking heart Nienna realizes Bilbo has to be in trouble. There's no other possibility. Just as she turns to Thorin to address her concerns, it seems he has come to the same conclusion; he orders Kili and Fili to go on up ahead to see what they could see.

In hollow halls beneath the fells

Neither Kili, nor Fili came back. It was all Nienna could do to just stand there and leave all the decision making to the dwarves, but her limbs feel frozen in place. Nienna could almost feel herself being crushed as fear and bravery wage a war inside her heart. A cageless bird yearning to take flight; but afraid of the fall. At last, it is just Thorin and Nienna left.

For ancient king and elvish lord

Thorin gives Nienna a nod of encouragement, followed by a bittersweet smile of reassurance; his bravery is breathtaking. The way he looks tonight will be forever embedded in her mind. The soft crease of his forehead, the way his eyes tell a story of determination, and fiery bravery that could convince even the most cowards to step up and fight for him. With him. Nienna lets out a slow breath, allowing his look to stick with her long after he had disappeared into the chaos.

There many a gleaming golden hoard

So, Nienna takes the leap of faith; out from the darkness, inching closer towards where her dwarven friends were bound in bags, roasting over a nice, hot, flame. Nienna holds her breath and stumbles behind a rock; not daring to stick her head up for a very good while. It isn't until a movement catches her eye that she had gotten an idea. Gandalf. He's coming. Nienna just has to stall for a moment longer. So, she steps out to greet the hideously large Trolls.

They shaped and wrought, and light they caught

"Hey!" Nienna shouts, stepping out from the darkness with a renewed vigor of bravery. "I wouldn't eat them if I were you."

"Blimey, it's another one those burrahobbits," one of the Trolls shouted to the other two, simultaneously all turning to stare in Nienna's direction.

"That's compass Hobbit to you, mister," Nienna says, which only seems to confuse them further. "And just before you get any ideas, I am off the menu. The dwarves and the burra..hobbit, too."

“You what?”

Burrahobbit sure sounds peculiar, and Nienna could only guess Bilbo had almost let it slip of his burglar title; but apparently stopped himself at the last moment. Now, it's Nienna in a peculiar situation. The Trolls, at least for the moment, didn't clamber to grab her. Yet, now she's not entirely sure what to do. She had seen Ganfalf, but where is that flighty Wizard now? The dwarves seem most antsy by the situation. All of them are staring at her as if she holds the cards to their survival. This is Bilbo's quest. Not hers, and yet, Bilbo is nowhere to be seen and the Dwarves are one step away from being eaten.

"And why not? This one talks too much, William. Let's grab her and eat her raw." Another Troll says, looking from Nienna back to the dwarves roasting above the fire.

"Because…" Nienna trails off; the dwarves groaning doesn't help her nerves, but she finds Thorin's face in the crowd, and is surprised to find him relatively silent. Watching her with a keen interest. She looks past Thorin to the trees; the sun creeping up in the sky, and a shadow just behind the trees. "A troll turned to stone can't eat very well, can they?"

"Do what?" William asks, ignoring the other Troll. "What is she saying, Tom?"

"Dawn take you all, and be stone to you!" Gandalf says, pushing the trees aside and the rising sun casts them all into light. And once Nienna gathers her bearings once more, she turns with a satisfactory smile to see the Trolls had turned to stone right where they stood. "Excellent!" Gandalf turns, and Nienna is surprised when his first course of action was to help Bilbo out of a thorn-bush, where he had apparently been this whole time.

The dwarves were most annoyed and hesitatingly thankful for Nienna's quick wit, but soon they were all off to look for the Trolls' dwellings; which they soon found, thanks to Bilbo pick-pocketing one of the Trolls and found a key to their lair. None were too thankful once they stepped inside, however. The cave was dark and riddled with bones all over the floor. Nasty smells that make Nienna's nose curl, but a great deal of food and little treasures; swords and clothes too small for Trolls. Gandalf and Thorin each took a sword, leaving two tiny pocket-knives for Nienna and Bilbo. Although, Nienna suspects Bilbo's is more than meets the eye.

Nienna was thankful to be alive and not at all low spirited, for now they have enough food for breakfast for their trouble. Nienna sips her ale slower than the others. After all, the warmth in her chest emitting from it is enough; the toasts and the conversations, and by this point the dwarves had all come around to thank Nienna properly for her wit and ability to keep the trolls distracted. It was a nice sentiment. Dwarves are nice, if you can overlook some of their more prominent issues.

[welcometogrouchland]

could u elaborate on darius camila fake dating? ill assume its for convenience's sake but ure so right the complicated feelings this would stir in luz, hunter and even vee are delicious

Okay so, I don't usually write fanfic, but I do have several fanfic scenarios and jumping off boards that I, when inclined, rotate in my mind like a DVD. Most of them are remarkably silly and arbitrary in premise, and the Darius and Camilla fake dating scenario is no exception.

To set the scene, it's post canon, w/ a working portal at Luz's disposal and Hunter flitting between a couple houses atm

The Nocedas and Deamonnes are having family dinner in the human realm. Things are going well! Darius is telling mostly non-morbid stories (bc based on CotH he CAN get morbid when he wants), Camila is impressed by the things he has to say even if he's not so subtly bragging as he goes on (both about himself as a matter of bravado, but also about Camila's kids. They're tough little bastards and he admires them, even if he'd never admit it)

Luz and Vee like to push Darius' buttons bc frankly it's stupidly easy and rewarding to do so (he is an irritable man, Luz is a mischievous lil scoundrel and Vee is, fundamentally, a silly creature. Vee's still nervous around witches (excluding the hexsquad) so Luz takes the lead w/ teasing)

Meanwhile, Hunter's having the time of his life!!! He's getting double the amount of parental praise and affection he normally gets!!! Big win in his eyes!!! He's never realised how much he likes his lives in the human and demon realm intersecting until now.

and, obviously, the stars of this hypothetical show, Darius and Camila. on the surface they seem very different, and they definitely are to an extent! Camila's naturally a sweet woman with a tougher more authoritative side that she reserves for when her loved ones are in trouble. Darius is a naturally cold and sophisticated person who only reveals the softer side of himself to those he's close with. she's very sincere and has been at this whole 'parenting' thing for a while, Darius has a few layers of persona and hard outer-shell on at all times and he's literally only been something close to a parent for like. a few months max.

but fundamentally they both feel massively out of their depth. right now, they both have a bigger support network than ever before, but the fact is that they've both been very lonely people until recently, and they're used to doing things with maybe one person by their side, max. they have all these people eager to help them, but also all this fear of Doing It Wrong and i feel like they're both people who're very conscious of how they're perceived by others. it makes them want to pull away and keep doing things the way they always have. but seeing that same imposter syndrome and concern born out of love in each other is...nice. it's nice to know someone else gets it. that they're not alone.

It's a wonderful time all around, until someone (stealing the idea of it being Camila's coworkers from another anon) unexpectedly calls to the house for a visit (ig Camila forgot abt clinic potluck night)

IMMEDIATE panic breaks out; Vee greets the guests at the door and stalls while Luz and Camila shove Darius and Hunter into another room to quickly try and come up with an exit plan. There's one obvious solution: summon the portal and go.

We could say there's an issue with this somehow (idk maybe stringbean ate the portal key and they're waiting for her to cough it up) OR we could just say that while Luz and Hunter want to be responsible, protect the demon realm and all that, they were also having a really good time. Luz loves talking about her adventures in the demon realm to her mom, Hunter's only now realising how happy having two parents/families makes him, even Darius is coming out of his shell as the night goes on.

And thus, the Boyfriend Suggestion is given

(rest under the cut bc holy fuck this is long)

Which is to say, Hunter says they can excuse Darius' presence by claiming he's Hunter's previous foster parent/social worker/etc (since I think the only way Camila can really justify the 5 extra kids that stayed in her house over summer with 2 of them staying to people in town would be something like foster care)...AND Camilla's new boyfriend, hence why he's here for the night :] <- this is the face Hunter is making @ Camila and Darius btw

Now, this may seem like a lot of mental gymnastics on Hunters part to keep the night going. And it is! But fortunately, hunter has experience with mental gymnastics. Especially if it's for something that he really really wants. It's not entirely selfish on his part, he's perceptive can tell that both Camila and Darius are lonely people deep down. he wants to see the people he cares about being happy and connected and they were just getting along so well!

Maybe the extra connection is an unnecessary detail, but in his eyes, the worst thing that could happen is a slightly awkward evening, while the best thing that could happen is he gets to live like this forever. Hooray! He is not going to investigate his own possible desire to have a more conventional family structure btw. He definitely doesn't have any leftover fears about non-conformity and being neglected left over from the emperor's coven. Absolutely not.

exiting out of hunters inner monologue and returning to the scene- Camila laughs, Immediately and nervously, because really? Darius? her boyfriend??? As if her co-workers are going to buy that the middle aged, nerdy widow with the famously unpopular daughter managed to snag a 6 ft tall, buff-ass Adonis who, while not being able to tell them that he's secretly a beautiful elf man, you still kinda tell. There's a Vibe he's always radiating, even in human disguise mode.

She genuinely means it when she says all this, she thinks she's just being realistic, but it makes Luz, Hunter and Darius sad to hear. Luz and hunter love Camila SO MUCH. Darius has really appreciated her company tonight. they don't want to hear her talk bad abt herself.

And maybe it's Darius' own rebellious nature that spurs him to contradict her. He's the kind of guy who believes in sticking it to ppl and proving that you're not the person they thought you were! And he's not above petty victories either. He looks at Luz and Hunter. They look back at him. He steels himself.

He pretended to be a coven head for years. He's played the role of someone cool, calculating and utterly unattached to the point of nearly convincing himself along with everyone else...

...So surely he can pretend to be his son's mom's boyfriend for a night!

and essentially any amount of shenanigans can spiral out of that premise, lol.

You can have Darius fumbling his way through pretending to be a human!

(He's doing his best. Hunter is guiding him but he's also wrong a lot of the time. Honestly Camila's coworkers look at Luz and think back to Manny and are like. Yeah that checks out this woman's a weirdo magnet)

You can have Camila and Darius!

(2 full grown adults who haven't had significant committed relationships in a while) trying to figure out the Right Amount of fake affection and PDA it takes to be convincing w/o being weird

Darius not knowing how to operate around the Noceda girls now that he's been put in this liminal paternal space for the night. Gives them both these awkward head pats and then internally cringes

You can also have the kids wildly differing emotional responses to this frankly absurd scenario! I genuinely cannot afford to make this any longer than it needs to be so maybe I'll expand on this idea some other time BUT in my mind it's a lot of...

bickering between Luz and Hunter about if this is really necessary (they are both self motivated rn but in ways that are understandable)

Vee not even knowing how to approach the idea of Camila having a boyfriend/her having more than one parent (this is all very new to her). I'm honestly torn about whether she'd warm up to Darius and be happy at the idea of having a bigger family or if her own fears of abandonment would lead to her being possessive/protective of her mom. It could go either way depending on how you characterize her relationship to Darius

Luz knowing that it's fake but still having a visceral reaction to just the idea of her mom dating and finding herself torn between wanting her mom to be happy and not being ready to accept any new father figures in her life after losing her dad

Hunter realising that Luz is uncomfortable and that in his pursuit of his dream family he may have accidentally put the first person to make him feel like family in immense emotional conflict

There'd probably be some family conflict either during the coworkers visit (prompting them to leave) or after they're already gone. Mostly about Darius and Hunter being not totally honest and kinda Weird the whole night, and the Nocedas unprocessed grief that they've both been refusing to deal with for a while.

Then however the hypothetical fic would resolve is up to you! Do Darius and Camila actually get together? Does one catch feelings but the other is still hung up/hesitant? Do they just stay friends and confidants? It's all up to the imagination baby

Anyway, sorry for the terrible wait on this answer anon, I've had several funks/episodes in the interim between starting and finishing this ask, hence why it got delayed lol. It's probably not as polished as it could be, and is really just a functional ramble about things I don't think I'll ever write, but it was definitely a fun ride lol