#maybe it would help to talk about it to the void? you can send any thought if you read this i guess

[honeyboyfelix]

my dm asked me to guest in one of his other groups and im really excited but i only had like a week and its TOMORROW and im either 0planning or 100 percent planned kinda person with no inbetween so im just here like....stressed

[sukioyakio]

“𝚄𝚜𝚎 𝚢𝚘𝚞,𝚑𝚞𝚑?”-Y/L

Paring: Sukuna Ryoman x SingleparentReader

Summary: You thought that after your visit with Sukuna who you thought never would see again.He just kept on insisting on you about the deal.

(I completely suck at summary So can you please just read it😭🙏)

An: I didn’t expect that this would be doing well,I just thought that um that I post this and that it and boom 💥 People actually likes this and so here is part two 😃🫶.Im completely sorry for how long it took to post this.Also I loved all of your comments in the last one.I HAD TO FUCKING RESEARCH SO MANY MOVIES 😭 that I personally think Sukuna would be in AND fucking stuff about a retail company that made so much money 😭.i literally had a dream about this for the longest and yes there gonna be a part three of this.Im gonna be completely honest I don’t think I cooked 😞.

Ԝ𝗈𝗋ᑯ ɕ𝗈υ𐓣𝗍:6,023

pevious>next

past

Your body hurts so much,With every tear drop that fall out of your eyes a piece of you dies.The darkness of the blue night does nothing to help you sleep,as the moon light is company with the blue skies,barley shine through your empty bedroom window and yet nothing could make you sleep in these recents nights.

Constantly checking your phone for a certain person to message you back.As you scrolling through your messages. ————- {you}-“Sukuna please you can’t do this to me please,let just talk it out like adults please”*Delivered two weeks ago*

{you}-Please kuna all I’m asking is for you to come back with me.I’ll do anything just please. *delierevd two weeks ago*

{you}-“What did I do wrong?am I the problem here..please text me back please” *delivered two week ago*

{you}-“Kuna please I need someone to hold on please,I-i miss you please” *delivered two messages*

{you}- “Please god please just send me anything,Is it the baby that your afraid to have,Sukuna please if that the case then we can figure out something together” *Delieverd two weeks*

Multiple messages from you.All the having the same meaningless effort to get his attention

{you}-“Did you even love me,was I the wrong one here.Why can’t you tell me just one damn thing,I’ll take anything just please,text me whenever you are back from whenever you doing just please”*delieverd second ago * —————

You turn off your phone before you started crying again.You didn’t have to know that you looked like a wrecked;puffy red eyes with a mountain of red stripes that stain your cheeks with evidence of you crying.

Silence draped over the room like a velvet curtain, muffling even the faintest whispers.

The silence was deafening, each tear drop echoed like a raindrop in an empty hallway. The moonlight cascaded through the window, illuminating the room with a cold, pale light, casting shadows that danced on the walls like specters.

You clutched your phone tightly, hopelessly scrolling through old messages, searching for a sign of life, a sign of something, anything. But there was nothing.

Each message sent was like a plea into the void, a silent scream that went unanswered.

Curled up in a ball in your bed with no blanket on it because you hadn’t found the bother to cover yourself.

In the depths of the nights like this The worst enemy is the silence and yourself,it where you could hear the voices of your thoughts. Make-shifting them into monsters that drain you of any hope that he’ll come back and try to save ‘this relationship’.

“You were probably the one that deserved it,after all he probably didn’t want someone like you.He definitely did out of pity”

Another

“Maybe if you didn’t act like a cringy little lovesick child then you’ll get to live your fake loving lives together that you only lived in”

After another

“He never once said or tried to prove his ‘love’ in this relationship.Hadnt he?and yet your here with his child, who there father who’ll they never be able to have because he rather put himself then you from the beginning.”

After another voices that fills your head like toxic venom,but you can’t help but hear it.Particularly being drowned by it.

You acted like you couldn’t be able to handle yourself when you could fully do it.But after having your family completely taken away by death you were hopeless about having a place in life.

Without any support or guidance how will the baby bird survive in the world?Well the answer is to fall and embrace the dangers.

In which you did embrace the dangers of what it did to your heart by walking towards the tiger den.Completely swoon by him in every aspect that,in your eyes you ‘love’ him.You were so excited to have a child with him to share a future with him.

You knew you could just simply abort the baby and not have to stress about it but you couldn’t bring yourself to doing that to the baby.

As weeks passed by;Work suddenly became unbearable to deal with,being constantly yelled at for being late or having a bad presentation to the customers.

You were worried about losing your job due to uncertainty about how long it will take you for securing another one and the need to feed your growing child that lives inside of you.

Sometimes you couldn’t even take someone else orders without having the urge to throw up,or randomly get kick of anger or sadness.

Your hormones were acting up due to the stress and depression that you dealing with and could cause something to the baby.Moreover your hormones shouldn’t be acting this early on your pregnancy so please take mind of your care said a doctor.

With that being said,you really tried pushing the thought of him aside and should start taking of yourself but how can you when you’re carry his baby.

But you did it,you throw out all his clothes and stuff he left behind and clean up the house slowly but surely you were done.But over time the pregnancy was showing up and you knew that you were going to get fired because they can’t have a pregnant worker on there employees.

In which you did,Being called by your boss that you’re fired and you knew that everything is going to become more difficult for you from that point on.But You ‘moved’ on and now your ready to move forward with your baby. Present

You woke up an hour earlier than your alarm due to your body unable to rest.And so you decided that it better to go take a shower to refresh your mind.

You swing you feet off the bed, yawning, as you rise to a stand.Your groggy vision clears as you look at the time, seeing you have woken up an hour before your alarm.

Your body feels exhausted, as you were tossed and turned all night long. Deciding a shower would help ease the fatigue, you make your way into the bathroom.

But before that you took a peek inside your daughter room seeing how her pink hair was a completely mess and how you saw a bit of drool that sipped from her mouth.

The sight of your daughter’s messy hair and that little trickle of drool slipping from her mouth brought a warm smile to your face as you watched her sleep. It was adorable.

You always notice the little birthmarks under her eyes bags;there barely noticeable but you couldn’t unsee it.(there like Yuji marks) You smile softly as you shut the door quietly.

Now you taking a trip to the bathroom to take a well needed shower.As you turn on the water to be warm as you wait for the cold water to heat up,when ready you jump in it.Letting The warm water drip down your curves and down onto the floor.The warm water washes away all the soreness and sleepiness.You stood there for a couple of minutes recalling yesterday trip.

’Use me then’

A flash of frustration creased your brow and sparked in your eye,as you shake his words out your head.Now getting back to finishing your shower by washing your hair and then your body.

Once done you got out of the shower and started drying yourself up with your towel before getting dressed for the day today.

You still had a good amount of time to waste and so you tidy up your room and the living room since it wasn’t big like your apartment but it makes up the time before you have to wake up little Nova up.(who’s is five years old)

So you decided to relax for a bit on one of the chair,and use your phone in the meanwhile and spotted a message from an unknown person.

you press on it;to see a long message. —————

{Unknown}-Good evening Ms LN,

I’d love for you and I to have a chat sometime soon this week about the deal on the matter.If you’re interested please don’t hesitate to send back a message or email.Here is the address if you’ll like to come in person ‘xxxxxxxxxxxxx’

Bye have a wonderful night Lady L.N.

^5,000 dollars send to your bank account^ —————

Your eyes brow raised up with question of who’s this,but continue on reading you already answered that question.Your jaw clenched as your hands ran through your hair as you mutter underneath your breath a couple of curses words.It was as obvious as it sounds.

“Use me then” His voice rings again as you shake the thought again.Your lips turned into a straight line,”Yea no”you replied to your mind,as you blocked the number but You were sure that Sukuna made someone else write this to you.

Which only proves how he really did care only about himself.A annoyed sigh left your sigh as you close the app and went to watch about a 10 minute documentary on YouTube about a missing girl tape. (YouTuber :Rotten mango)

Before the alarm rang and making you get up from your chair with a yawn and go to Nova room to wake her up.

Now walking Towards the her room with a more relaxed posture then a few minutes ago.You gently opened the door with it making a low creek sound.You push the light switch making the room alive with the light;making it able to all the little things in her bedroom.

You walked more into the room now getting a clear view of her cute messy sleep posture. You chuckled slightly as you witnessed her uncomfortable facial expression, her small groans, moans, and movements.

Her messy hair all tossed about on the pillow, drool leaking from the corner of her mouth onto the soft pillow, and her body curled up in a small little ball.

She was quite the sight to behold.Your heart felt warm and full just by looking at her like that.

A small smile appeared on your face as you hovered over her and kissed her cheek, causing her to grumble and scrunch her face even more.

“It monday Nova sweetheart wake up you got school today” You said softly as you careless her messy pink hair.

You were always found yourself adoring the color of her hair not just because it looked just like his hair but how it looked majestic.

Even as a child, you found yourself at peace in the presence of your baby daughter. Whenever you shed tears over the struggles of parenting and the challenges of raising her, her tiny pudgy hands would reach out to yours, gently guiding them to rest upon her head.

In those moments the weight of your worries vanished,replaced by confidence to move forward because you had your precious little girl beside you.

Nova little hands rub her eyes to focus on regaining her eyes.You leaned back letting her wake up.

She grumbles as she sit up on the bed Looking half dose off from sleep and half awake.Her mouth opens with a loud yawn making you chuckle.

“B-but it’s soo-another yawn escape from her mouth- early in the morning cant I have more time t-to sleep” Her voice sounding raspy and sleepy as you ruffle her hair.

“No cant do Nova or you’ll never want to get up” You said with a calm tone,as a soft sigh come out of your mouth.

“Mhm.. ok mom”Nova says as she stand up from her bed before walking into the bathroom she stretches her body,her pink hair falls down reaching her knees.As she goes off to the bathroom to take a quick bath. You lips form a proud smile from how smart your daughter is,already herself into the shower without your help.

You hear your daughter saying loudly that she already in the shower so you don’t have to worry about her not getting ready.You let out a scoff,rolling your eyes at the comment.

“It mine job to be doing that,troll-you mutter that part-“Well if there anything you need help call me Nova” You sighed in defeat as you walked towards her closet to grab her uniform and put on her bed to make it easy for her to put her clothes.

A sunny morning that sprinkle its warmth onto a beautiful young girl who’s pink hair floats heavenly in the air making her look like a beautiful angel.The trees soothing with the breeze of the air and complimented with the sunlight.casting light to those around.

The girl seem running towards him with a radiant laughter that flowed through the air like soft melodies.He didn’t even mind the sound or the thought of moving his position,as the girl came closer and closer until he was face to face with her.

The girl who looked up at him,with her neck aching from having to look so high up.He immediately kneeled down towards her height.The young girl smile softly,and his lips turned slightly up in return.

He was about to ask the little girl what is her name,but his throat seem frozen.His crimson eyes widened.As in an instant the surrounding turned into more dark.

The soft wind that gently kiss his skin was now gone and replaced with a heavy and harsh wind that would blow him away from the little girl.But didn’t;the sun no longer shined it warmth now hiding it existence in the darkness of the dark clouds.The trees now were holding on their last leafs with how hard the wind were blowing onto them.

“Papa”

Sukuna immediately looked at her,noticing the change of her features.Her big eyes were looking at him with a serious sadness expression.As he saw her eyes forming a tears that flow down her cheeks.It hurted him to stand face in face and not to do anything.

“Why d-did you leave me-and m-mama. ..P-pp-papa?” She asked him with a shaky broken voice,as he saw the tears pooled in her eyes before they streamed down like rivers flows.

He looked at her eyes and saw your eyes in her.His heart banged Against his chest like a drum.His heart was heavy with the weight of his past mistakes. His vocal cords turned to stone, rendering him mute in the face of overwhelming emotion.

Then the young girl looked intensely at him with tears that ruined her beautiful bright face.

“W-what .. d-did I do wrong” She replied,her voice shaking like before.And then her presence changed into something he hadn’t seen before.

A young version of him,with streaks of red painful tears falling from his scarlet eyes ,Looking at him with pain,sorrow and loneliness in them.

“W-what . .. did I-i do wrong” His younger version said with a shaky hiccup.

Sukuna tried to tell him to say something,to speak but nothing came out of his mouth.

His younger version then disappeared into the young girl who now has her eyes widened slightly and her voice turned into more heavy breathing combined with shaky sniffing.

“P-papa. . P-Please d-dd-dont. . Leave m-mme” The young said in a broken voice as she steps closer to him and grabbing his wrists.Sukuna didnt even notice how his breathing become so heavy and how loud his heart beat sounded,especially when he could hear it banging in his ears.

He wanted to grab the girl and hugged her,to tell her that he isn’t going to leave her alone,to make her smile instead of crying like that.But his voice cut off.

And then the second the girl grab his wrist the scenery of the surrounding changed as well his body position changed,Now He standing up looking forward at a hallway that he knew to well and then he felt someone hands.

“.P-please. .don’t L-leave me P-pp-please”

He knew that voice,Your voice,as clear as he remembered.He winced in regret at hearing you choking on your tears.Then the his body moved on his own,his head turned to see you completely,

Shattered

“Please . . .S-Sukuna” a voice so painfully loud in his head,but so low that it could be miss taken as a whisper of the wind.

That was the only thing he heard from before everything went black.

As he gasp for out for air,his body covered in warm sweat,his body now in a sitting position.He heart banging against his chest like a drum,he quickly removed the blanket off his body.Sukuna felt something falling down his cheeks as he rubs his eyes noticing the wetness that come from it.

Tears,his tears.He hadn’t had a nightmare in so long that made him cry like that.He felt that his breathing was off,as he could feel the cold air brushing against his warm skin making him shiver.

“It just a dream”he spoke and so he stood up and glanced at the clock that stood there on top of the night stance.

“What time is it?”He asked in his head,as he keeps his breathing steady and his heart beating calm again.

4:30am on the dot,making him Groan and grumble as he walks around his large bedroom to the bathroom,he desperately needed a cold shower to wake up.To make him forgot about his stupid little nightmare.

Now entering the bathroom he turns on the light flashing his eyesight,making him scrunched up his nose and wince at how bright it is. He looks into the mirror showing his body and face.

“W-what . .. did I-i do wrong” A voiced ringed in his head,as he quickly turned away from the mirror and began to turn on the water.

Now waiting for it to become his prefer temperature,He just sits on the toilet manspread;head being held up by his hand;rubbing his hand against his face.

“It just a nightmare” He whispered to himself in agreement as he rans his hands in his striking pink hair.Taking off his clothes and jumping into the shower to be awake from the cold water.

The icy water hits his body,water sliding down his body and onto the floor of the tub.As it drips down from his face;smoothing his muscular fatigue just a bit.

But even that doesn’t make the damn dream go away.In fact it just keeps reappearing in his mind.

“Papa” “Papa” “Papa” “P-papa”

“P-papa. . P-Please d-dd-dont. . Leave m-mme” the little girl broken voice comes in his ears.Seeing an image of her crying for him;reaching out for him in sake of his warmth.

His breathe hitches as if it hurted to breath normally. ‘I-I won’t let you go’ he whispered to himself as if he knew what he saying is true or false or just a saying to him that maybe he just a hopeless as he was.

He didn’t know why he wanted to be in the little girl life,maybe because she his child,maybe because he it was his responsibility for making you pregnant with his daughter or,maybe because that it wouldn’t be fair to be her father and not care about her as her Stupid Ass father.

Or maybe that he saw himself in her,saw a glimpse of something that he couldn’t control,her hating him for the stuff he did.

He knew that deep inside he didn’t want her to feel like he abandoned her like how life did to him.

“.P-please. .don’t L-leave me P-pp-please” And then your voice comes in his mind as it comes out like an anchor of his regrets.He was really a piece of of shit.

“Please . . .”

-S-Sukuna”

He quickly opened his eyes that he didn’t even recall closing them,and decided to put the water into warm temperatures.He didn’t need this right now.A part of him says that what he did was for the best and the other part of him that deep inside of him knows that he should’ve turned around and walked back to you.But he didn’t.

He let out a big heavy sigh and remembered that he made his assistant ‘uraume’ to write you about the deal.Knowing that you wouldn’t accept it but he was willing to try at least.

And so he continued his shower and washed his hair and body,and once he was done he began wrapping a towel around his waist and glancing on the mirror to see how red his skin looked.

“Urgh fuck work” He reminded himself as he stormed out the bathroom and into his bedroom and started to get changed.

As soon as he was done it was already 5:40am and so he just went to where his garage where his cars are and then went to work early.

Sukuna was an actor and started a side company that was small when he started out,but soon grew into a big company as well as his acting career.

When he made it into his company he just went into his office,and that could be his start of his day.At 6:05am he started working in the morning as he kept his stern demeanor in place.

While you drop off Nova at school you were quick to go to work where it was hell.And so right now you’re on the bus,sitting down with boredom painted on your face,but you kept thinking about the 5,000 dollars in your bank account.It bother you for some reason,like you were happy that you have money in your bank without having to work your ass off.

But the other was like,now it feels like you own him now,and it wasn’t your money that you worked hard for;no it was his money that he just flat out gave to you.

As the bus stop at the station that you needed to get out.And so you walked out of the bus station,wincing at the sunlight hitting your eyes,covering your eyes from the sunlight with your hand.

It was probably 8:35am when you started to walked.

People passing and going,some simply walking around with smile on their face,and other people walking to get on time to work like you.

You made it,at your job as a waitress.Moreover you winced from how many people were there,making you slip out a defeated sigh of that. Hearing multiple voices of people chatting about whatever topic and some trying to calm down their crying babies.

As you check in at the register,as the other employees were busy cleaning,taking orders,cooking,etc.As you were quickly ordered to take people orders.

‘Here goes a fun day of hell starting right now’You spoke to yourself now,putting on your fake smile on.

After a long stressful day of work,your body ache from having to practically running to write orders.You check your phone to see the time is 3:00pm on the dot.You immediately sign off from your shift and onto to getting your stuff and immediately start your walk towards nova’s school.Knowing it was very late to get her up but it is the only way you could make money.

You started to walk quickly towards the bus station,making it swiftly into the bus,and getting a seat.As the bus waits for the other passengers to hop on.After a while the bus start to close the door and finally starts moving.

As the sunlight Glows passing through the windows of the bus,Making the windows hot and warm to touch.As bus passes multiple stations until it was finally your stop,in which you politely Maneuver through the bus towards the exit.You said your thanks to the bus driver and who replied with your welcome.

Now walking towards the school,You really needed a car by now but it doesn’t matter asking as you’re able to pay for life essentials.

As you approach the school, you spot Nova making her way towards you, her backpack bouncing with every step. You plaster a smile on your face, hiding the exhaustion you feel from the long day at work.

"Hey, Nova! How was school?" you ask, trying to sound cheerful.

Nova shrugs, a hint of disappointment in her voice. "It was alright, I guess. Math was tough today."

You nod understandingly, trying to appear more interested in what she's telling you. The thought of having to work longer hours now to pay for tutoring services crosses your mind, but you push it away for now.

"That sounds rough," you reply, showing concern. "But I'm sure you'll get the hang of it. You're smart, after all."

Nova looks up at you, a hint of worry in her eyes. "Can we grab a snack before heading home? I'm starving."

You stifle a sigh, knowing that you're also hungry but also tired and just want to get home. "Sure, we can grab something quick. What do you feel like eating?"

You look at Nova and stare in which she quickly answer the question “um ice cream!” Her eyes sprinkles in joy and excitement at the thought of eating ice cream.

You rolled your eyes at her reply,letting out a small chuckle,as you smile at her face.

“Sure thing sweet heart,there should be an ice cream shop nearby” You explain while ruffling her pink hair.You already are tried out from walking but some more walking wouldn’t hurt.Nova will be the death of you some day.

“YAY!!Thank You mama!!”Nova yelled happily as she jumps up and down,and then rushes towards you with a big hug making you slightly stubble backwards.

‘Yep,she’ll definitely be the death of me’You spoke in you mind as your lips turning up into a big warm smile as you kneel down to hug her back.And giving her a kiss on her forehead.

“You welcome you little troll,now come on before it gets dark” you replied to her.

Nova nods as she politely breaks the hug and looking at you with her adorable smile.You return to standing up,as you extend your hand in gesture of wanting to hold her hand in which she complies to it.

As you both walks towards the ice cream shop that was just three blocks from the school.During that time the Brightness from the sun starts to decrease but rather starts to rise it ironic sunset glow.While walking towards the shop,you listen to nova talk about her day.Passing through multiple citizens until you finally made it there.

You look at the door seeing how it written open with a marker.You let out a sigh of relief that it wasn’t closed;you could feel nova excitement as she looks intently inside the shop.

Now opening the door of the ice cream,as nova enter through the door it makes a light jingle sound as a signal to the person here.Forthwith you walked shop quickly right behind nova.

You notice how small the shop look but how well care it was;you also notice how it give off a comfy granny vibes,not that you don’t like it,it just makes the ice cream shop feel more unique than others.

You saw that there no other customer here,as you see how nova was already at the front desk where the ice cream was displayed,You chuckled when you saw nova expression.

As you glanced at the choices that were being displayed.Then a door opened behind the front desk.

“Oh-h hello there,Good afternoon,is there anything you’ll like or need” a voice coming from the back,whoever voice it was gave off a warm and gentle comfort.As You could hear the steps coming closer to you guys.

Before you could even say hello,or opening your mouth,nova began talking.As the stranger was finally infront of you,and it was an elderly woman with her hair having sprinkled of white hair.Having winkles that were visible,She still looked attractive in her age and her eyes definitely showed adventurous and wisdom.

You would estimate that she was in her early 50’s but she looked still in shape

“Goood aftermoon,Me and mamma Are here for some yummy ice cream!Also I could like cookie and cream ice cream pleasee”Nova cheerfully says.

The older woman chuckled at Nova's enthusiasm,finding it endearing,she smiled warmly. "Well, isn't that a delightful choice. Cookies and cream, coming right up."

She turned around and began preparing the ice cream, adding a generous scoop of the sweet treat into a cone.

"And for you, dear?" she asked as she handed the cone of ice cream to Nova, her eyes looking at you and awaiting your response.

You politely shake your head,with a reassuring smile.”No thank you I’m alright,how much will the cost be in total” your glance at nova who enjoying her treat and return to the elderly women and pulling out your credit card from your bag.

The woman smiled warmly as you declined the ice cream, appreciating your politeness.

“Oh,don’t worry about the cost,dear. It’s on the house today.” She waved off your credit card with a gracious gesture.

"Consider it a small token for brightening up my quiet afternoon." She explains with a warm smile on her lips.

Your eyes widen in disbelief,as you let out a heartfelt sigh.As you thanks her for everything as you check what time is it on your phone to see that it 5:30pm,and you eyes widen from how much time has passed.You quickly put back your phone in your cross body bag.

“Come on nova we have to go back home,we don’t want the boogie monster to come get us,right”You announced to her;nova looks up and quickly walks over towards you with her bowl of ice cream,giggle sip out her mouth finding the thought of boogie monster coming after them.

“Thanks you for everything Ms” You spoke to the elderly woman,giving her a reassuring look.

Now walking towards the direction where the school was,and then you’ll just have to take an another bus ticket to get home. As you glance that the sky to see how the sky color looks more like it sun setting color.Glowing it orange shines through the building of the city.

You carried nova bookbag so it will be easier for you guys to get into the bus.When you made it there You laughed at nova adorable messy face while getting onto the bus.

The bus was crowded, as usual, the city traffic bringing workers home and students home from school.Nova and you found yourselves crammed in the middle, Nova leaning into you as you stood and held her up to keep her from falling.

The bus moved swiftly with each stop, letting people on or off. Nova watched from the side of the bus as you looked forward, watching the city move by.

As you feel nova head leaning against your shoulder,you glances at her to see her eyes close and her breathing evenly,You smile heart fully.Brushing the streaks of her pink hair that were in her mouth.As you leaned to land another kiss on her forehead.

’I give you the world to live to see you grow up.I promise that I’ll never pick myself first before you,nova Ryoman L/name’ You whisper to yourself.

As the bus ride continues on,stopping at bus stops.

The bus rides on, stopping and picking up passengers at every stop. The hum of the engine fills the air, and the sun gone and the moon light shines over the city in a brilliant display.

Nova sleeps against you,as you gaze off to the windows of the bus.The bus finally reaches your stop, and you gently scoop up Nova to carry her off the bus.

You carried her and your stuff along with carry her on your back,with her head slumped against your shoulder making quietly snores.You were careful to not get into to any of random danger in you way home.

Moreover you made it home safely,It not the best choice of place to live in but it works.You wake up nova to go take a shower,as you put away your stuff,your back begging to have a break.But you still needed to go make food for nova. Before you get any sleep.

“Sir Ryoman!” uraume announced with a professional voice,As they knocks one more time against Sukuna office door.

It was 8:56pm in the evening.People always wonder how they are able to handle working with Sukuna,some admired their dedication and other would just make rumors about them and him.Either the rumors would be how they was making ties with him or how they was just his personal quickie.Which none were true.

As uraume thought of knocking on the door again but was stopped by Sukuna sternly voice saying to come in.

While opening and closing the door,They looked to see how dark the room is and how the only light was the moon light.They could instantly see his red eye, glowing under the light.As well his pink hair.

Uraume flicked the light switch on,Flashing the both of them with the bright white light.As they nonchalantly looked at Sukuna and now walking towards his desk,their shoes clacking off the floor,carrying a small stack of paper on top of them is their iPad,they carry it on the other hand.His silence hung in the air like a suspended breath.

Finally breaking the silence,he begins to talk.“What is it now uraume” He said, his voice cold and stern. He was clearly uninterested in what uraume had to say.

Uraume clear there’s throat,brushing their white bob cut hair with there hands.They began to speak with a direct professional voice.

“I have a few documents for you about the recents meetings and there are some paperwork in this pile that are needed to fill out” they say as they place the pile on his desk and grabbing their iPad and turning it on Before continuing on.

”You also are scheduled for three interviews and then your schedule to have meeting with your clients and providers.You have a email on from a director who is willing to give you a role for a upcoming movie” Uraume added off there voice steady and professional,as they turns off their iPad now looking at Sukuna eyes.

Sukuna leaned back in his chair,looking up at the ceiling of his office,a low grumble of irritation.His neck was slightly visible towards uraume,as he run his fingers through his appealing pink hair as it runs along his face and then he return to looking at uraume.His hand pinching the bridge of his nose.

“Thanks for the report uraume”Sukuna replied with sarcasm as well with irritation and uninterested into what uraume said.He already knew that he had new business to take care of,so this wasn’t any different from the other things.

“Is there anything you want to ask me about the regarding matters?” uraume said with control and professionalism,looking at him with a flat face.

He looks at his desk before looking at uraume face with a stern expression.His red eyes staring into uraume face.

“Did she respond back to the message that I had asked you to send?” He questioned along with his voice coming out harsh and demanding.But behind his facade the uncertainty gnawed at sukuna mind.

Uraume thought of the message he was referring too.They knew Sukuna had developed a strange interest for one particular woman.

But why should they judge him,after all it was a rare moment for him to express his personal interests to anyone else.

"No", Uraume stated in a professional tone, "I haven't received a reply from her yet. However," they added, "if you're looking for more answers, I can keep an eye on the situation and keep you updated."

Sukuna nodded,before adding on.

“Also I’ll like you to do a investigation on her life I want it to be done by the end of week with a full detail report on the matter,so If I hear as a simple person hearing about this I wont hesitate to chop your head off” He spoke with seriousness,every word carrying weight and importance.

“Yes sir” uraume nodded as they turns around walking towards the door.Stopping when they heard his voice again. Turning their head back to him.

“And send another message for me to her again today” He announced without looking at uraume figure,now looking at the paper he had to do.In which they simply nodded and left the room with a sigh as they walks to their own office.

Pondering What all this sudden interest in you;They has never seen him so clearly interested in a woman to actually ask for them to track them down,usually it was rather to get them out his house after every night stand he had.

As they enter their office,now walking to their desk with a heavy sigh,now looking at the time on their watch to see it 10:25pm.It was going to be a long night before they could get any sleep or even go home.

author note: I know I left This on a god damn cliffhanger but this isn’t even the original edited version,I HAD to cut out the original by half cuz I think I made it to 10k words and it aren’t even done😭 but I fricking hope y’all love this and part three will be out hopefully soon,I have never hated writing the words they/thier/and them 😭 it so new for me to do.But I already copy and pasted the cut part off and it in own draft so I’ll will be working on it.

Taglist: @lil-annonie @scoobysnakz @chilichopsticks @axkermanrenn @domainofmarie @laraackerman @manikosii @chrys23 @mangiswig @gladiatorgladiator @kosmisoo @midnight-138 @kkshahrewar. I hope I got all of y’all tags list right and it didn’t do that thingy that doesn’t allow me to tag you.

@mononijikayu

[peachesofteal]

This post contains resources for leaving a domestic violence situation (in the United States). If you have additional domestic violence resources from other countries/places in the world, please leave them in comments.

This is a content warning: beneath the cut is a conversation about Simple Math, domestic violence, and my boundaries.

Hi.

I want to preface this conversation by telling you how much I love you all. I'm so grateful to the little community that we've built here, and I really feel like we've created a space where we can talk to one another comfortably. I adore interacting with you all and I've been pleasantly surprised at Simple Math's reception. I knew writing a fic with a character who had survived domestic violence would open a certain kind of conversation, and I'm okay with that, to an extent.

That being said:

For my own peace, I ask that you refrain from sending me GRAPHIC messages about your experience with domestic violence. If you are a victim/survivor/witness/etc, and you want to open a conversation with me reference your experiences and/or trauma, I am absolutely okay with that as long as it's done in an appropriate way. A lot of us can relate to Bun, and I don't have an issue sharing enthusiasm for the story in relation to your life. I am not okay with DMs or anonymous messages detailing graphic descriptions of abuse. You don't know me, my personal life, or the things I've experienced, and sending a detailed play by play of your past or current experiences (without even a warning) is not okay. I understand that you need someone to talk to, or maybe even someone to ask for advice, but I cannot read the graphic nature of these messages, and I encourage you to turn towards someone who knows you personally so you can receive help. Leaving the details of a current or ongoing domestic violence situation in my inbox, with no way for me to report what is happening or ability to get you any kind of help or resources, cannot happen. Domestic violence is a crime. In the case of physical abuse, it is a violent crime. Please do not detail violent crime to me in my inbox.

I consider myself to be a kind person. I try to help my community in real life and here as much as I can. I strive to make this a space where you feel comfortable and welcomed. I enjoy the way we interact and talk about these stories. It pains me to have to write something out like this, but I really don't know what else to do. It's very upsetting to read a message from someone who possibly is being harmed, and then feeling like I'm screaming into a fucking void because it's an anonymous message and I cannot help.

I've included some resources below if you're in the US and need somewhere to start in regard to getting out of a domestic violence situation.

US resources: Phone: 800-799-7233 Text: Text START to 88788

Create a safety plan. It’s important to plan how to stay safe while still living with an abusive partner and how you can safely leave the home or relationship. Record evidence of any abuse you experienced. This could include pictures of injuries you received or threatening messages. If possible, keep a journal of violent incidents, noting dates, events, and any threats made. Store your journal in a safe place. Establish where you can go to get help. If you’re comfortable doing so, tell someone trusted about what’s happening. They can help you with safety planning or finding resources that support survivors. Plan with your children and identify a safe place where they can go during moments of crisis, like a room with a lock or a friend’s house. Reassure them that their job is to stay safe, not to protect you. When preparing to go to a shelter, if you can, call ahead to see what the shelter’s policies are. They can give you information on how they can help and how to secure a space when it’s time to leave. Our advocates can also provide you with local resources. Try to set money aside or ask trusted friends or family members to hold money for you somewhere an abusive partner can’t reach it. Financial abuse is very common and creates many issues for someone preparing to leave. If relevant and feasible, pursue job skills or educational qualifications that expand your opportunities for independence. Talk with an advocate at The Hotline. Our advocates are highly trained in all aspects of domestic violence. They can help you create a safety plan, give information on preparing to leave, and can connect you to local domestic violence resources for further support. Create a safety plan. It’s important to plan how to stay safe while still living with an abusive partner and how you can safely leave the home or relationship. Record evidence of any abuse you experienced. This could include pictures of injuries you received or threatening messages. If possible, keep a journal of violent incidents, noting dates, events, and any threats made. Store your journal in a safe place. Establish where you can go to get help. If you’re comfortable doing so, tell someone trusted about what’s happening. They can help you with safety planning or finding resources that support survivors. Plan with your children and identify a safe place where they can go during moments of crisis, like a room with a lock or a friend’s house. Reassure them that their job is to stay safe, not to protect you. When preparing to go to a shelter, if you can, call ahead to see what the shelter’s policies are. They can give you information on how they can help and how to secure a space when it’s time to leave. Our advocates can also provide you with local resources. Try to set money aside or ask trusted friends or family members to hold money for you somewhere an abusive partner can’t reach it. Financial abuse is very common and creates many issues for someone preparing to leave. If relevant and feasible, pursue job skills or educational qualifications that expand your opportunities for independence. Talk with an advocate at The Hotline. Our advocates are highly trained in all aspects of domestic violence. They can help you create a safety plan, give information on preparing to leave, and can connect you to local domestic violence resources for further support.

You are loved, even if it doesn't feel like it. You have the ability to do things you never could have dreamed of, and that includes getting out.

[monscrow]

intro post, i guess!!!

last updated 06/nov/2024

⚠️flash warning for blinkies at the bottom⚠️

free gaza, free palestine, stop genocide. you don't agree? block me.

i go by both mons and crow.

my pronouns are they/them, he/him and any neos/xenos that you think would fit either comedically or off of vibes.

lvl 16, so, a minor !! beware

aromantic, graysexual, something like that; qprs are sick asf and all hail relationship anarchy.

art sideblog is @monscrow-arts

super amazing pretty boyfriend !!!<3 🍎

audhdcd (asd + adhd + ocd 😻😋) and hEDS (+ ortho hypo 😛). i use tonetags.

bday is oct 7. 🎉🎉🎉

i'm mexican 🇲🇽!! i speak both spanish and english.

timezone is cst/utc-6.

i say slurs i can reclaim (mainly the f and t queer ones) and swear a lot, though if that makes you uncomfortable please either block me or lmk so i can try to tone it down when around you.

i love interacting!! feel free to tag me in stuff, send some asks (be it on anon or not), or message me! moots can ask for my discord even if we've never actually talked before. though i suck at keeping consistent, nothing personal i promise</3 /gen

i tend to spam-reblog so do with that information what you will.

some tags you might see me use here and there:

#mons rambles ← just my thoughts, ideas, opinions, and whatever i feel like throwing into the tumblr void.

#ask a crow / #anon asks ← askbox replies.

#save / #art save / #fav / #hellsite faves ← these are more for myself, but yeah they're pretty self-descriptive. just in case you get curious or anything.

#🍎 ← beloved.

hyperfixations/interests/things i'm passionate about !!! i guess, kinda

→ mcr (+ most of the members' solo projects)

→ killjoys (california + national anthem, but mainly calif and fanon)

→ demolition lovers lore (i have literally written like at least three different essays about it for school help me i'm so serious)

→ emo/alt/diy culture

→ will wood

→ bandom in general

→ graphic design, arts and crafts, illustration (that's right y'all graphic design IS my passion 😔)

→ fnaf

→ cosplay/costume-making

→ d&d

→ crows (no way, crow, really???)

→ australian shepherds

→ the umbrella academy (s4 isn't canon in my heart + currently reading the comics !!! )

→ gravity falls

→ neurodivergencies/psychology/disabilities (this one's pretty meta ngl)

→ lgbtqia+ identities (emphasis on the aroace-spec ones + relationship anarchy)

→ politics/activism

→ linguistics + conlangs

→ fantasy in general (high fantasy, magic, vampires, tieflings, you name it)

→ boardgames

→ the count of monte cristo (2024) (also i just bought the book so i'll be reading that too !!)

→ parkour civilization

→ uhhhh there's more but i don't remember rn, i'll keep adding as i see fit (probably... maybe..... perhaps....... quizás........ puede ser..........)

dni

trump supporters, terfs, transphobes, anti lgbtqia+/queerphobics, exclusionists, ableists, racists, prolifers/antichoicers, proshippers/anti-antis, irl gore, pro-israel/zionists, pro-ai generated "content", pro-nft, non-critical media consumers, classists, ed blogs, sh blogs.

also, i'm aware that dnis tend to not be effective and i probably will still get shitty ppl in my inbox so i can and will block. though i'm p chill as long as you're chill. this blog is run by a very neurodivergent, mentally ill, mexican, transmasc, aroace faggot, and any kind of bigoted hatred will not be tolerated.

blinkies made with blinkies cafe !!!

pssst btw, before you go, if you read my intro post i'd heavily encourage you to like it, so i can know!!! :] (/nf though!)

[rpgchoices]

How to romance Marazhai (mainly dom!Rogue Trager focused)

First of all, I need to send a thousand thanks to @pjenn @chonker-chan @wretchedelights and @milleart because without their comments, suggestions, warnings and guides I would have not been able to successfuly romance Marazhai as dom!RT. Also a thousand thanks to reddit user u/TohnoRin who also helped me fix the romance.

for an in detail guide on the flags this romance has, and how to avoid bugs and get the ideal ending please check wretchedelights post at this link!

Jan/2024 his romance is currently slightly bugged if you play as a dom!RT. I will update this in the future.

CHAPTER 2 (meeting Marazhai)

While I do not know if other options would also end up in romacne/recruitment, I made sure to choose the answers that were not "I will kill you" (or maybe he would have loved that).

Options and dialogue from act 2 is fromt he Marazhai romance playthrough 1/? post to the 7/?, and you can find them at this tag: Marazhai romance chapter 2.

The quest to meet him the first time is called "Blades in the Void".

CHAPTER 3 (recruiting Marazhai)

In the playthrough tags it is from n 8/? to n 20/?, all tagged Marazhai romance chapter 3. Plus, I did not have some scenes in this chapter so I posted them separately: Argenta and Heinrix about Marazhai; Marazhai's killing blow quest.

Before starting the chapter

Effectively, the chapter is triggered by the point of no return in chapter 2, which is Yrliet asking you to look into a lost ship. The quest is named "Following Breadcrumbs" and at this point just know that whatever characters you bring they will be the only characters with you in chapter 3.

In particular, if you have two between: Ulfar, Heinrix and Argenta, you will unlock some extra dialogue with Marazhai and will have to defend your recruitment of him. Given Ulfar is recruited in chapter 3, you should bring at least one between Argenta and Heinrix. Also, Ulfar needs to be recruited before Marazhai in this case.

Chapter 3 starts with your kidnapping. You will have to find all your companions but one (in a separate map) before your first fight in the Arena. After your first fight in the Arena, you can access Tarvantias' Anatomical Opera where you can recruit Ulfar, find one of your missing companions (for me was Cassia) and talk to Marazhai. Marazhai is on an elevated platform, right from Tarvantias. Here you can ask him to join you.

Recruiting Marazhai

Next is the Arena fight where, if you were successful, Marazhai will join your side, and this is where you recruit him. Back at The Pit you can chat with him and your companions.

Make sure to choose "you intrigue me" when he asks you why you decided to recruit him.

Sub/dom choices unlocked

Chapter 3 is the one that has the messy dom/sub flags, at least until Jan 2024, hopefully it will be fixed later. This means that if you want to be a Dom!RogueTrader you need to choose to sub-adjacent options (in particular at the Pit allow him to grab your chin, and later allow him to use the agoniser on you). If you want to have your character be submissive, then choose the dominant options. In any case, you will be able to change these values with Toybox mod.

The Spire

Once you are out of the streets you can get to the Spire. In my list of playthrough I missed a scene (I did not look for it and did not get the Killing Blow quest), but it seems like it did not change my game or romance.

Here Marazhai will also asks you to stop by and grab something of his (the agoniser, which is on the last floor of the map, the same where his sister is located). I can't confirm but I also read online that picking this up seems to be fundamental to unlock the romance. After you kill his sister, this is the end of Chapter 3.

CHAPTER 4 (romance)

Here is the full playthrough of chapter 4.

Back to the Voidship! This is also where the romance starts. From this point on, the dom/sub flags are correct so you can choose the correct dialogue options.

If you activate on toybox the chance to see dialogues flags and consequences it will be pretty easy, as you can see the tag for "ascension". This is basically an approval meter, the higher it is the more likely to get his true romance ending.

The order of the romance is:

1) In voidship, dialogue with Marazhai, ask him why he needed the services of Tarvantias.

2) First voidship warp jump, you will get news that Marazhai is on a rampage. Go to him, try to break him free from the demonette (I used persuasion, Yrliet's help and coercion) and then warn him of her attack.

3) The post fight dialogue has the romance trigger. Choose between giving him free hunting range (Sub!RT) or giving him a limited area (no dom/sub points but the only option for Dom!RT).

4) Go talk to him back in the bridge of the ship and he will give you the quest "Shards of Tempest".

5) Two jumps or more from this point, there will be a cut scene with him asking you to kill together. The sub!RT option is asking him to guide you; the dom!RT option is to tell him to ask properly and in this case if you did things correctly he won't complain and won't be annoyed with you. With dom!RT, he will just kneel and ask you to join him.

6) Go along with his murderous desires. Just know that for now the aftermath bed scene is sub!RT coded even if you have the correct dom!RT flags, it's okay! Also try to kiss him, I have been told it leads to a later scene!

7) Now you can do his personal quests. While the quest is pretty vague and open, the real quest is three rumors: Suspicious Ships (in Langrenn's Belt), Xenos Skirmish (in Orsellio Prophecy, the planet is Arid World), Fall of Santiel's Pride (in Nolla Septum). You will get fights (ex. clear the Nolla Septum planet and the Drukhari ships) or dialogue options where you can send Marazhai. Do not worry if the rumors don't clear, for me only the Fall one cleared as completed.

8) Go back to the bridge of the ship and you should have a cut scene where Marazhai gives you a gift. Accept one of the three gift options, and then use it accordingly to the role chosen (don't mix it up!), I am playing dom!RT and I chose to use a torture device on him, he was very happy. There is no dialogue difference between the three gifts, only the description.

9) At this point you can proceed with the main quest.

10) If everything goes well, you will get some ascension points (this will give you true romance at the end) and dominant (or submission) points through the main quest (be cruel, eat the brain, re-establish your dominance or submission role when he tests you)

11) After the main quest (the siege) you will get the branding scene. Remember to follow your role! I am playing as dom!RT so I branded him and he was pretty happy.

12) Talk to him on the bridge for some extra dialogue (he flaunts the mark).

CHAPTER 5 (ending)

Chapter 5 videos of the playthrough are here. (to be posted soon)

Chapter 5 is very short so it is almost impossible to miss Marazhai's tempest quest. Visit the few planets around you and you will see some Drukhari ships. Marazhai's old kabal will want to meet him so invite them on the ship.

If you are playing as dom!RT you can get more ascension points (this is for the true romance) by re-establishing your role. Do not be afraid to humiliate Marazhai in front of his people, he wants that and will be disappointed if you do not remind him of his place.

Follow the quest and go to the trap and kill Marazhai's old kabal. This is the final quest for him. I know there are other endings, so I am sure there is a way to make Marazhai into an archon, but for me I had no chance to.

At this point you will get his ascension scene. You will get this scene if you accumulated enough ascension points by re-establishing your roles (these are more or less "approval" points). The scene will start with Marazhai asking you for a bigger feast (murderous killings!).

If you refuse you will lose precious ascension points. If you accept you might have to kill one of your advisors. There is an iconoclast option so I suppose there might be a dogmatic or heretic one, and if you choose that you can reign in Marazhai and make him kill only on a limited side of the ship (the iconoclast option tho is very dom!Marazhai at the moment).

After, you will get him declaring his loyalty and affection for you!!

If you tried to kiss him before, remember to pretend to want to break things off so he will desperately pleade and you can actually kiss him:

(remember that you can add ascension points with toybox if needed).

This is the end of his romance, if everything goes well by the epilogue you will have a slide where it is said that Marazhai is often by your side and you have an unbreakable bond!

[breakerwhiskey]

262 - TWO HUNDRED SIXTY TWO

Please visit breakerwhiskey.com for more information or to send a message to Whiskey's radio. Breaker Whiskey is an Atypical Artists production created by Lauren Shippen. If you'd like to support the show, please visit atypicalartists.co/support.

If you'd like to send Whiskey a message, click here.

Transcript under the cut. For more episodes, click here.

Well, hi there, Red. It's good to hear from you. It's strange to hear from you, to talk to you, to talk to anybody, which I know you understand. I haven't been ignoring your transmissions if you really have been sending them for this long. I—I just really haven't heard anything until now.

And it’s..hard to think about. You know, when when we first got here and I switched on the radio and turned it to the channel that Birdie told me to, it was such a gift, hearing all those voices. But it was also hard. To think that so many people have been calling out and I just hadn’t…

[static]

It's something I've struggled with. I did…I needed time to breathe and to figure out what to do next, to figure out things with Harry. And, well, I'm not necessarily any closer on any of those things, but it's been good, I think, to step back a little bit. But I did feel bad. You know, I felt bad leaving people behind just when I finally found them. But then I thought, well, who do I respond to? How do I respond? How do I know that in all of the frequencies and all of the transmissions coming from all these different timelines, how can I make sure I hear from the people that I want to hear from? The next transmission you send, Red, if you send another one, how am I going to be sure that I can can hear it and document it? We've got the radio running all day, every day and are absolutely burning through tape recording it when one of us isn't there. I know we're going to run out at some point and…

Harry says I'm not responsible for the world, but hearing you talk what you've been through the last seven years…the loneliness. Missing the sun. I'm glad that I was able to bring some color, some light back into your life, but I just can't help thinking, where are you? Are you here? Are you somewhere else? Are you somewhere that I can get to? Birdie said that things shifted again and I still don't know how. Still haven't seen any sign of what's different. But to think that you and I could merge our disparate timelines. Our isolated little personal purgatories could somehow join up down the line, I don't know. I don't know how we would know or how we would find one another.

I guess if there's anything that you can tell me specifically about the world that you're in now…maybe that'll help narrow things down a little. I don't know.

[static]

But I'm glad I finally heard you. And I hope you hear this. I hope you know that I wasn't ignoring you. I've been listening. I've been trying to listen for so long. Also you should know that I got a real crack out of you assigning colors to everybody. It sounds like you nailed them, too. I mean, Pete being money green is…

[static]

And I did get a good chuckle out of you picking a color that you didn't like very much for Harry. I mean, that's probably what I would have done too. But if it makes you feel any better about things, I think she liked the idea of a yellow-orange. You know, because she's a painter too she thinks about colors differently. There is no ugly color to her. It's all possibility.

Anyway, Red, I hope…I hope your loneliness abates a little bit in the way that mine has. Being with Harry hasn't felt that void. Not entirely. I don't know that anything can or will unless we can find our way back, but it has helped. Being honest with her has helped. So I hope wherever you are that you're safe and that I can add more colors to your palette in the future.

Whiskey out.

[static]

[isa-beenme]

Heyy for the acotar bingo can you do second option??? Or maybe co workers but like modern! Au

I saw this and was like: what if I used BOTH??!!!!

I also noticed you didn't specified any character so WELCOME BACK RHYSAND HIGH LORD OF THE NIGHT COURT MUAHAHAHAHAHA

See? I did this without putting Feyre as a villain we can all do that

Also I made this angst I don't care I like pain

HEY, I kind of did a universe like CC so, faes and magic but elevators and cellphones? Is that right?

Warning: Almost happy ending more to the no than to the yes, no fluff, angst

Waiting On A Miracle

During the day in Velaris, it was not uncommon for you to find Rhysand, CEO of the renowned Nightstar Corporation, and your boss, pacing around his room in a nervous walk. He often found himself facing a problem that seemed almost insufferable. Despite his wealth, success, and influence, Rhysand's heart yearned for one thing that had eluded him for far too long – true love. He believed that having a powerful and talented woman by his side could raise his spirits and complete his life, filling the void he usually felt in his heart.

He carefully crafted the life he wanted to have, made plans for his future, and ignored the past. It wouldn't be different for the moment he would have to choose a wife. You knew that, always have. And yet, in the darkest moments of the night, you imagined yourself as his choice. You had the knowledge it would never be you. What could you even offer? Coming from a powerful family you were the only one without a drop of magic in your blood. You could winnow and that's all, it ended right there. Everything you lacked in magic you worked hard to compensate for in brains. You were at the top of your class, numerous prizes filled your house and you worked for the best. But in the end, you would never be enough for anyone but yourself.

Rhysand turned to you in one of his days of pacing around and thinking about his future. It was actually a routine to wait for him to finally sit down, you would offer any candy in your drawer and he would smile. Sometimes he would praise you and even send a kiss, memories of your bubbly past with him would fill your heart and both of you would go back to work. Now you worked closely with him in the upper echelons of Nightstar, but in the past, you had shared moments of intimacy, a colorful and passionate friendship during college and the years before his rise. This relationship, even if it had left an undeniable mark on both of you, had turned into a mere spark that often burned a little brighter with every interaction.

But now, Rhysand found himself feeling distracted and consumed by thoughts of his future marriage. It was difficult for him to concentrate on anything else, and he realized that he had to choose soon or else he would become a madman. Taking a deep breath, he picked up his phone and called you while you were in your office, requesting you to come to his room for an important discussion.

As you entered his office, you couldn't help but feel a mixture of nervousness and hope. You and he had been through so much together, and lately, things seemed different between you. Maybe, just maybe, he was finally going to confess his true feelings for you. You were waiting for a miracle.

-What did you want to talk about, Rhysand? - You asked, trying to keep your emotions in check - Is it so important for you to make me get up and travel to the other side of the corridor? - Rhysand looked at her with a mix of hesitation and determination.

-I wanted to talk to you about something important. I've been doing a lot of thinking as you saw, and I've come to a decision.

-Yes, what is it? - Your heart skipped a beat, and you leaned in slightly, your hope rising. It was stupid but you still thought. Maybe…

-I've decided to try a relationship with someone - He said, choosing his words carefully.

-Oh, really? That's great news, maybe the cabinet will finally stop bothering you with that - You were trying to sound nonchalant while your heart raced with anticipation.

-Yes, her name is Feyre - Rhysand said, watching your reaction carefully.

Of course, his choice was none other than Feyre, a remarkable and gifted individual, possessing an extraordinary talent that set her apart from others. Being such a powerful female and still making time to search for what she truly loves was definitely a courageous thing to do. You couldn't deny the appeal. The hope in your heart dimmed instantly, replaced by a mixture of disappointment and sadness.

-Feyre? That's... that's wonderful - You said, trying to mask her feelings. Rhysand noticed the change in your demeanor, and a pang of guilt washed over him. He knew he was hurting you, and he wished he could find the right words to make things better.

-I thought you'd be happy for me - He said gently, trying to explain himself - I've been trying to get over this step of my life for a long time - You managed a weak smile, though your heart felt heavy.

-Of course, I am. Feyre is wonderful, and you deserve to be happy - Rhysand sighed, feeling the weight of his decision.

-The thing is, I don't really know her. We talked once at a party and it was quite good. But I don't know her - Your brows furrowed at his declaration - I know what you're thinking, but I'm sure I'll get to marry her in the end. It's not that hard to fall in love with me - He tried to joke, but you weren't in the mood for it, both his decision and the situation being too much for you. He sighed and dropped his posture on the chair - Look, I care about you, and I value our friendship and our work together. I hope you understand that this doesn't change anything between us.

-Of course, I understand. What we had during college was just… distraction. I'm glad you found someone that can fit in your necessities - But inside, she couldn't help but feel a twinge of jealousy and sadness. You had hoped that maybe, just maybe, you were the one he had chosen. Maybe all those times he was thinking about you. Nothing less than a miracle could take you out of the place your lack of magic put you on.

As you left his office, Rhysand felt a mix of relief and regret. He had been honest with you, but he couldn't shake the guilt he felt for the pain he caused. He knew he had to give his relationship with Feyre a chance, but a part of him couldn't help but wonder what might have been with you.

In the days that followed, he tried to be there for you as a friend, hoping to mend any rift that had formed between your relationship. He wanted to preserve the connection you had, even if it couldn't be what none of you had hoped for. And as he embarked on his new pursuit with Feyre, Rhysand couldn't help but wonder if he had made the right choice. There was a part of him that still felt drawn to you, a lingering feeling that maybe, in another time and place, things could have been different.

As the sun dipped below the horizon, painting the city skyline with hues of orange and pink as Rhysand sat in his office, deep in thought. He had been racking his brain all day, trying to plan the perfect first date for Feyre, something that would sweep her off her feet and show her how much he cared.

-Okay, so first, we'll start with a candlelit dinner at that small Italian restaurant in the venue next to my house - Rhysand mused aloud, his mind drifting to the cozy corner table he had shared with you hundreds of times when you both worked late night and he invited you to sleep at his house, laughing and sharing stories over plates of delicious pasta and wine - Then, we'll take a stroll through the park, hand in hand, talking and laughing - He tried to continue, the image of your smile and the warmth of your hand in his flashing before his eyes.

Rhysand sighed, realizing that everything he was planning for Feyre was merely a reflection of the moments he had lived with you. It struck him like a bolt of lightning – he knew you so well, knew what made you happy and what made your heart sing, but when it came to Feyre, he was completely lost. A mixture of guilt and confusion washed over him. He had been so focused on pursuing Feyre, believing she was the key to completing his life, that he hadn't even noticed his own heart steering him in another direction. The truth hit him like a tidal wave – he was in love with you.

Rhysand leaned back in his chair, his mind racing with the realization. How could he have missed it? He needed Feyre in his life because of his job and status, but it was you who had captured his heart in a way he had never thought possible. You had been there for him, understood him in ways no one else did, and your moments together were the most cherished memories he had.

He only had to choose. Feyre and his job. Or you and his heart.

It never took him long to decide. With the decision already made in his head he dialed your number in his phone and asked you to meet him at the rooftop garden – the very place where you had shared so many of your intimate conversations and moments. As the stars began to twinkle in the night sky, you arrived, looking curious and slightly apprehensive.

-What's going on, Rhysand? - You asked, your gaze searching his face for answers.

-I was trying to plan a date for Feyre, but as I was describing it, I realized that everything I was saying… it's what we used to do, what we've done together - He paused after saying it, but you sensed it wasn't enough, his hesitation preparing you for the worst.

-What do you really want to talk about? - You asked, taking a seat across from him. Rhysand took a deep breath, his heart feeling heavy with the weight of what he was about to say.

-I need to talk to you about your position in the company - He began, trying to find the right words.

-What about it? Is there an issue? - You frowned, sensing the unease in his voice.

-I've decided to downgrade your position - Rhysand looked down for a moment before meeting your gaze again - You are going to work with Azriel now - The words hit you like a punch to the gut, and you could barely believe what you were hearing.

-What? Why? Have I done something wrong? - Your heart starts to beat faster. Everything you ever worked for, the life you sacrificed yourself numerous times to have, everything was crumbling down right in front of you.

-It's not about that - Rhysand replied, trying to keep his emotions in check - I've realized that I'm getting too distracted by you, and I need to focus on my pursuit of Feyre. I can't afford any more complications - Your eyes welled up with tears, and your initial shock turned to anger quicker than you could process what he said.

-Are you serious right now? You're downgrading me because you don't know how to flirt properly with Feyre without thinking about me? I can't believe you, Rhysand! This is ridiculous! - You shout out, your anger rising with each passing second as your mind realized what he just said - Are you fucking out of your mind? You are the one having problems and I am the one who had to suffer and sacrifice a part of my life?

-I know it sounds harsh, and I'm sorry - Rhysand said, his voice softening - But I can't deny my feelings for you any longer. You've become a distraction, and I need to put some distance between us - You stood up abruptly, your emotions boiling over.

-You're unbelievable! First, you loved me and slept with me, and now you're acting like it meant nothing? I thought we were friends at least! - Rhysand looked pained, guilt etched across his features.

-It's not that it meant nothing. It meant everything, and that's why I need to do this. I can't bear the thought of losing you, but I can't continue like this either - Your anger turned into hurt, and tears streamed down your cheeks.

-So, I'm just some inconvenience standing in the way of what you want? I thought you cared about me!

-I do care about you - Rhysand said, his own voice catching with emotion - That's why I made sure to keep the same salary, the same schedule and readjusted you to one of my best men. You will be treated well and-

-It's about that, you idiot! Do you even know me? It's not about the job itself, it's the fact that you are downgrading me for a problem that's not even mine to solve! - Your eyes poured out tears like no tomorrow would come. You looked into the skies and asked yourself if it was actually real - You know me. You know my family, my history. You know the world we live in. I don't have magic, Rhysand. And without that I have nothing. You know the number of colleges that denied my application because of my lack of powers. The only thing I ever had was my brain and my position and now you are taking it from me too.

-But it's not about your powers-

-Shut up - You interrupted him again, feeling a new wave of emotion flooding you - We both know that it is. If I had any kind of power, you would've chosen me to be your wife. Wouldn't you? - His silence told everything you needed to know, when he dropped his eyes to the ground you knew it was over - I can't believe I fell for you. I thought you were different, but you're just like every other male who only cares about his own ambitions.

-No, it's not like that - Rhysand protested, reaching out to touch your arm. But you pulled away before he could get any closer, his heart shattered a bit more.

-Don't touch me. And don't come looking for me. I need some time to take all of my things from the office and change to Azriel's - You said with a sarcastic tone, still in disbelief at what happened to you.

As you walked out of the rooftop, Rhysand sank into one of the seats, his heart heavy with regret and guilt. He knew he had hurt you deeply, and the weight of his decision was crushing him. He had let his pursuit of power and his job blind him to what truly mattered – the connection he had and the love that had grown between the both of you. He let his mind decide what was best for him and now he lost everything that mattered.

He realized that he had been selfish, trying to keep you close as a confidant and friend while pursuing someone else. It wasn't fair to you, and it wasn't fair to him either. He had to confront his feelings and figure out what he truly wanted.

As the minutes turned into hours, Rhysand couldn't concentrate on anything else, especially when he looked outside the door and the lights in your office were turned off, emptiness filling the room. The only thing you left at your table was the gifts he gave to you during all those years working together.

The night kept tense as Rhysand now stood before Feyre, his mind blank as the thought of your tears kept rushing back and forth. He had finally worked up the encounter to talk with Feyre, hoping that she would see the potential in their union. But as he looked into her eyes, he felt nothing and knew that the outcome would not be what he so fiercely desired.

-You heard my proposal. We could make a formidable pair, and I believe we could accomplish great things together - But his voice was an empty whole, his expression a paint of his sorrow.

-Is that all this is about? Power and necessity? - Feyre raised an eyebrow, and he could tell she knew something was wrong.

-It's not just about that - But the phrase came out in a whisper of uncertainty, he sighed and put his head on his head, not even looking at the female in front of him anymore - Or at least I thought or hoped it wouldn't be - Feyre's gaze softened, and she smiled a bit. Always the sweet and comprehensive Feyre.

-Rhysand, I appreciate your honesty and your proposal, I am truly honored. But power and necessity are not enough for a marriage. We need more than that. We need love, trust, and a deep emotional connection - He said with a smile, holding his hand through the table and offering reassurance.

-I know - Rhysand said, his heart sinking - And I thought I could find that with you. In the future - Feyre shook her head gently, even laughing a little.

-Rhysand, I'm attracted to females. I've always been honest about my feelings and who I am. I can't give you the love you deserve, not in that way - His head went up and his eyes widened in surprise.

-I didn't know. I swear to you. I'm deeply sorry if I knew I would never propose such nonsense - He captured her hands in both of his and took it to his head, pleading forgiveness - I shouldn't have proposed this stupid thing to anyone, actually. I'm so sorry.

-It's okay. I never talked about it in public, you wouldn't know. I'm still getting comfortable with it - Her eyes sparkled with something he couldn't tell, but he knew she had forgiven him - You're an incredible man, Rhysand, and you deserve someone who can love you the way you need to be loved.We both deserve to find happiness in our own ways - He could only raise her hand to his lips and press a kiss in it. Thankful. He felt thankful - You're a good male, Rhysand. Don't ever doubt that. But you need to stop being so stubborn and let yourself live for your emotions, not just your company.

-I'll try - He nodded, feeling a mix of gratitude and pain in his heart. As he walked away from Feyre that night, Rhysand felt a sense of both loss and relief.

As he found himself standing outside your door, he knew that the one who truly held his heart was waiting for him inside. It was time for him to stop denying his emotions in favor of his job and take a chance on love, on the person who had been there for him all along.

With a newfound determination, Rhysand knocked on the door, ready to embrace the future with open arms. Whatever the outcome, he knew that he couldn't keep hiding behind his company and ambitions, it was time for him to live for his emotions and the person who had captured his heart.

As the door opened, your eyes widened in surprise and confusion at the sight of Rhysand standing there, looking both heartbroken and determined. Before you could say anything, he began to speak, his voice wavering with emotion.

-I need to tell you the truth - Rhysand said, his voice barely above a whisper - I love you. I've loved you for so long, and I can't bear the thought of losing you. I've been such a fool, pursuing power and hiding behind my ambitions, when all this time, you were the one I wanted.

-You think a big declaration can make everything go back into place? - You cut him off before he could continue, your voice trembling with anger and sadness -Do you realize how much you hurt me? Did you even listen to what I said? How can I trust you, Rhysand?

-I know I hurt you, and I'm so sorry. I was blind to my own feelings, and I pushed you away when all I wanted was to be with you - Rhysand's shoulders slumped, and tears welled up in his eyes.

-You can't just say sorry and expect everything to be okay. You made your choice, Rhysand, and it wasn't me - The desperation in his eyes became evident as you moved to close the door. He ran and stopped you as fast as he could.

-I thought it was what I wanted, but I was wrong - Rhysand said, tears streaming down his cheeks - I can't lose you. I can't live without you.

-You can't just walk back into my life and expect everything to be fine. I don't know if I can trust you again - Your heart ached at the sight of his vulnerability, but you couldn't forget the pain he had caused. The things you lost because of him.

-I love you so much, and I'll spend the rest of my life making it up to you - He declared, his voice raw with emotion - Please, give me a chance to show you how much you mean to me.

You felt torn apart, your heart wanting to believe him but also fearful of being hurt again. You took a step closer, bringing him inside your house before closing the door again. The same way Rhysand had made his decisions days before, you had made yours. In a moment of emotion, your lips met his in a kiss, a mixture of love, pain, and longing shared between you. It was a moment of desperation and yearning, the culmination of your intense feelings for each other. But as the kiss ended, you stepped back.

-I need time - You whispered, voice shaking with desperation - I need time to process everything, to figure out if we can ever find a way back to each other.

-I'll wait - He said, his voice filled with determination - However long it takes, I'll wait for you.

You nodded once before kissing him again, the movement memorized in your own being, the pattern very well known by both of you as you took off his coat and his shirt as you moved blindly towards your room. He knew where everything was, he knew every part of your body and every part of your heart. But it wasn't enough. It would never be enough if he didn't know how to treat your heart. He knew you, you knew him, but neither of you knew how to deal with each other.

As the morning light filtered through the curtains, the heaviness of the previous night's emotions lingered in the air. Rhysand found himself lost in your room. Your side of the bed was empty when he tried to find you. He lifted his head and started to walk around, searching for you all over your house, a place he knew like the back of his hand. He found you in the living room, hair still messy from the night before, lips still swollen and only a robe covering your body. He could get used to this vision.

-Good Morning. I thought that maybe we could - But you held up your hand, stopping him mid-sentence.

-I've had time to think, and I can't be in a relationship with you - You said, her voice resolute but tinged with sadness. Rhysand felt a mix of shock and disappointment wash over him, but he understood your decision. He cut you deeply, and he couldn't expect you to jump back into a relationship with him after everything that had happened.

-I... I understand - His voice barely above a whisper, looking at you with the hope that you would look back at him - I was a horrible person to you, and I'm sorry for everything I put you through.

-I appreciate your apology, Rhysand. But I need to move on from this and focus on my own happiness - Rhysand couldn't help but feel a sense of loss as he watched you stand firm in your decision. He had hoped for a different outcome, but he knew he had to respect your wishes after all.

-Well, at least go back to your position as my assistant - He suggested, trying to find some semblance of their previous relationship. But you only shook your head, a small smile playing on your lips.

-I'm sorry, Rhys, but I think I've found my place with Azriel. I'm very comfortable working with him, and I believe it's the right choice for me - Rhysand felt a pang of disappointment, realizing that he had truly lost you in every possible way. He had been blind to what he had in front of him, and now he was facing the consequences.

As he made his way to his car, the weight of his actions and the loss of your presence overwhelmed him. He felt defeated, lost, and uncertain of what the future held for him. But just as he was about to get into his car, he heard your voice calling out his name. He turned around to see you standing in front of the door, he looked at you hesitant but hopeful.

You took a deep breath, and for a moment, he saw a glimmer of hope in your eyes, as you considered what you were about to say.

-You can still send me messages, you know? Maybe there's still a chance for us, or maybe not. But if you ever want to talk, I'll be here. I'll think about answering them.

Rhysand felt a mixture of relief and uncertainty at your words. Maybe there was still a sliver of hope for you, a chance to rebuild what had been broken. But he also knew that he had a long way to go to earn your trust and love back. And maybe he would have a bit of competition with Azriel as your boss.

-Thank you - He said, his voice filled with gratitude - I'll take the chance.

And with that, you stood there for a moment, watching as he processed his emotions. Neither of you knew what the future held, but both of you were willing to find out. And with that, he left, giving you the space you needed. It's not a happy ending, but it was a step towards something real – a chance for both of you to confront your past, and your emotions, and to decide if love could endure the pain and uncertainty that lay ahead.

[sugarushsuga]

Stay there, I’m coming to get you - #83

Genre/Au's: Smut, PWP; Hockey player AU – Friend with benefits(?)

Paring: Taehyung x F Reader

Words count: 2329

Rating: 18+

Warnings: Smut; Fingering; Dirty talk; Public sex; Car sex; Pining;

Synopsis: Taehyung is friends with your best friend’s boyfriend, what doesn’t make you both very close, beside the hang outs and constant teasing each other. But when you need help, he is there to help you, not once but twice in a roll.

Author note: If I didn’t procrastinate I would have it done much sooner. This is Tae’s bday piece. Also is part of my milestone drabble game, the ask for it went to void when Shay’s old blog did it too (Tagging the current one @egocypher) but I never forgot about it.

Masterlist

The ringing tune on your ear makes you anxious, is the third time you call Lolla’s phone, and it rings until voicemail. You know she is enjoying the victory party, but you need her right now and as your best friend it’s her duty to pick up the phone.

Her cheerful voice comes through your ears when you reach her voice mail again. Hanging up you sigh and let your head rest back on the wall. Something you would never do in a different situation. But despair is starting to fill your body and you don’t know what to do. Lolla has been your best friend since middle school, and you both have always looked out for each other, especially after going to college.

You both made a pact that whenever one of you went out on a date, the other had to send a text after the first hour, to know how things were going, if thing are so-so, a call in the next half hour, if things are bad a call right away to give the receiver an excuse to maybe ditch the date or have the friend come.

Today she didn’t send the message, she is celebrating the school’s hockey team classification to the nationals. Her boyfriend is part of the team. You were invited to their celebration, but you’ve already had plans with some other friends. Actually, now you’d say they are just acquaintances, you hoped to become friends.

They are like the cool group from your major, you have a few different classes with most of them. They were the ones who approached you, talking with you here and there, one at a time, in different classes, greeting you whenever you crossed paths on social occasions, until they asked you for lunch and then to hang out at a bar.

You press Lolla’s name again hoping that fourth time's the charm and she’ll pick up the phone.

Maybe you are taking too long in the bathroom, but you don’t really care right now.

The tune rings in your ear for the fifth time, another two times and it’ll reach her voice mail.

“Lolla?” You ask as the line connects and noise comes through the phone.

“No! Y/L/N, Lolla can’t come to the phone right now, she’s having her soul sucked off through her mouth right now!” The cheerful raspy voice, that usually makes your knees weak, says through the line.

“Oh!” You sigh, letting your shoulders drop.

“What is it?” The male voice asks.

“Nothing, I- “

“Wait a second!” He says. You can hear him talking with someone, some excuse me’s and indistinct noises until the voice comes back clearer. “What’s wrong? Aren’t you out with your new friends that are, oh so much cooler than us?”

You mentally curse Lolla for running her mouth about it to Seokjin’s whole team about why you weren’t going out with them after the game. “Yeah,” you roll your eyes.

“So, is it true that you ditched us, to hang with some unknown, much cooler group than us?” He chuckles.

“Hm… I didn’t ditch,” you say trying to explain.

“You just thought they were much cooler than us?” He teases again.

“No, Taehyung. I just…” Your voice fades. You don’t have any excuses; he is right on his teasing, and you just want to find an excuse to leave.

“If you are calling, things aren’t really that nice right now, right?” His voice comes softer, and the teasing is gone.

“I don’t have any excuses to leave, I came here with them. I'm not very familiar with this area and I’m unsure how to leave by myself.” You admit, voice lower as you sigh, remembering you put your own self in this situation.

“Hm, well, lucky for you, here it’s not very fun either. Stay there, I’m coming to get you!” His voice once again has that cheerful tone.

And just like that he is gone.

The line goes mute.

Taking the phone away from your face you see he hung up.

Sighing you get out of the stool and practice a smile on the mirror, you debate yourself if you should try to fix your hair that was sticking to the wall or just leave it. Deciding to leave it you walk out of the bathroom, back to the table where your new “friends” are.

They are talking about the significance of life or something else, you don’t bother enough to join the conversation, just sitting there sipping on your drink waiting for the ice to melt so you can have it for longer. You don’t want to risk getting drunk around people you aren’t close to or very comfortable with.

Twenty minutes later half of the Hockey team burst through the door of the bar with Lolla guiding them.

“Y/n!” She cheers loudly, “what a surprise to find you here!”

She has her phone in hand and Taehyung trailing right behind her looking at her phone over her shoulder. They tracked you. And you thank the gods the day she set up the sharing location app so you both can know where each other are especially when one is out on a bad date. And today you are the one out on a bad date.

“Hey!” You try to sound surprised and not let your happiness show.

“What a coincidence!” Lolla greets your group of friends with a smile.

You look around and there is half a hockey team around the table, Lolla standing with Seokjin by one of your sides and Taehyung on your other side.

“Oh, I think the bar is full.” Jen, one of the new friends, says in a discreet sneer.

“Oh, really?” Lolla responds looking around at the very chill and not full bar. “Yeah, I guess it is. We won’t be able to stay here.”

“But the bar is not full…” Namjoon comments.

Seokjin punches his friend on the shoulder, not even trying to hide it. “Yeah, it’s full, I guess we’ll need to take our victory party home.”

“Yeah, let’s do it guys!” Taehyung says by your side. “Y/n, do you wanna come? It's a free ride home, plus it will be fun, you know all our parties are fun.”

You look in between your friends and your new group of friends and nod. “Yeah, I’m sorry guys, I'll take their ride. We talk on Monday, okay?”

Getting up as you talk, you put the money for your part on the table and follow the hockey players out, Taehyung has your bag on his hand as you follow him.

The rescue is a success, but now you are worried about how you will all make it home. It’s hard to get an Uber or taxi around the bar, you’ve tried to call on through the app many times before calling Lolla.

The group stops by a minivan, it has the Hockey team name on it together with the college name. Jungkook, one of the youngsters of the team unlocks the driver’s door and opens the van. Telling everyone to get in.

He sits at the driver's place, with Yoongi and Namjoon by his side on the front. In the middle roll goes Seokjin, Hoseok and Jimin with Lolla on Seokjin’s lap and her legs over the other guys' laps. Taehyung goes to the back roll and offers you his hand, you follow and ends up sitting in his lap between their gaming gear.

You worry about the safety of all of you, but everyone else seems too hype and happy to care about it. There is loud music, and they all are talking at once as Jungkook starts the car.

Taehyung gently pulls you back against his chest. “I need to put the seat belt around us.” His voice is low and sends a shiver down your back.

Resting back, you let him pull the sit bet around you both, strapping you to him. His hands rest awkwardly on the edge of the seat, surrounded by helmets and other equipment.

“What’s wrong?” You ask, turning towards him. Your nose brushes his jaw and for a reason you don’t know you keep your voice low in a whisper.

“What do you mean?” He asks just as quietly as you did.

Running your hands down his forearms, you cover his hands with yours, to realize he is gripping the seat. “You can touch me, you know?” Pulling his hand, you rest them on your thighs with yours. “Are you embarrassed?”

“Embarrassed?” Taehyung asks without a hint of embarrassment in his voice.

“You are getting hard.” You laugh softly, nuzzling his jaw.

“Well, my dick doesn’t really understand that all this wiggling isn’t for our benefit.” He sighs.

Relaxing with his words you make yourself more comfortable against his body. “If it makes you less embarrassed,” you say still holding his hands. “I'm getting wet just by feeling your dick.”

The darkness of the car and the way Taehyung’s breath catches gives you confidence to slip your intertwined hands in between your tights feeling the warmth of it. You part your knees a little more to have more room in between them. You can feel his fingers almost brushing over the wet lacy of your panties. Maybe it is the thriller or the alcohol from the drink you had at the bar or could be the fact Taehyung is basically dicking you through his pants at every bump the car gives, but a new wave of arousal makes you wetter.

Taehyung lets go of one of your hands, letting it travel over your body, smoothing the fabric of your dress, placing his hand flat over your stomach and caressing his way up to your boobs. Gently molding them, fingertip running circles over your covered nipple but not adding quite enough pressure. You whimper his name, and he chuckles in response.

“Taehyung please,” you ask.

“Y/n, this is the nicer way you’ve ever talked to me in all these months since we’ve met.” His voice is hoarse in your ear.

Twisting your body, you manage to turn enough to kiss him, his lips are soft as his hand moves to your throat putting some pressure on it as his tongue explores your mouth. His thumb caressing your damp inner thigh. Your body reacts at its own accord, legs parting further to give his hand more room.

Biting his lower lip, you moan. “Taehyung.”

“God, I’d love to see your face when you moan my name like that.” His breath tickles your neck as he trails kisses over it. “And I’m not embarrassed to feel how wet you are all over your tights.”

“It could be over your hands if you made a move.” You sass.

The confidence comes over the darkness, the music that was turned up. You feel like the car is getting hotter and the air thicker. You don’t know how long the ride is still going to take but you need something to happen, or you won’t ever be able to look at Taehyung’s face again.

“Can you be a good girl and keep it quiet?” Taehyung asks while placing a kiss under your ear. His knees moving your legs further apart.

You eagerly nod in response to his question, but his hand doesn’t move any closer.

“Taehyung, if you don’t know what to do, I can do it myself. You just need to stay still.” You provoke.

“Y/n, someday I’ll fuck this pretty mouth of yours and you won’t be able to be such a brat.” His lips find yours again as his fingers manage to push your panties to the side and two of them slip inside of you at once.

You regret promising to stay quiet as Taehyung shallows your moan. The wet sound coming from his fingers pumping in and out of your pussy is all you can hear, over your friends' laughs and the music. If anyone pays attention, they’ll know what you both are up to in the back seat.

“Your pussy feels so good. Warm, wet and tight.” Your hips roll against Tae’s fingers, you bite your lip hard to keep your moaning quiet as the hot pleasure builds up in your lower stomach.

Letting your head drop back on his shoulder, you want to close your leg at the same time you want more of it. To shy away from him at the same time you want more of Taehyung.

“Are you going to come, all over my hand? Squeeze my finger in your pussy and give me a taste of what it will feel like when I have my dick buried inside of you?” Taehyung parts his knees further, spreading your legs and exposing his finger inside your pussy.

As your moans and whimpers start to get louder, he covers your mouth with his free hand. Making his fingertips brush your spot and his thumb caresses circles over your clit, sending hot pleasure over your whole body, making you tremble and shiver, as your orgasm rips through you, making your eyes roll back, your back arch and your body feel boneless.

Taehyung keeps pumping his fingers in and out of you until the spams are gone and you are just a sweaty mess slumped against his chest. Kissing your forehead, he gently slips his fingers off of you. “Open your mouth baby.”

Confused but too content to question him as you do as told. Parting your lips, Taehyung places his wet fingers on your tongue, and you lick it, feeling the bitter salty taste.

“Don’t worry baby, I’ll taste you when we get home, I promise I’ll clean up the mess I made in between your legs.” He says, lips moving against your neck.

“Tae- “

The music cuts off abruptly, and your entire body freezes, eyes widening as Taehyung quickly pulls his fingers from your mouth and unpins your legs so you can close them.

“Does anyone wants McDonald’s?”

100WTSILY - Masterlist

Feedback is always appreciated.

Ⓒ 2023 Sugarushsuga, do not copy, translate or repost.

[lains-reality]

hi love, this is directed towards the anon with difficult circumstances (or maybe you as well, if you can help)

https://www.tumblr.com/lains-reality/724561014842114048/hi-im-this-anon

I realise that your blog isn’t void focused or loa focused. I apologise for sending this ask anyway. I really don’t mean to trouble you with further questions, this one will be it.

I understand non dualism and it temporarily gives me peace, gives me temporary solutions to problems that i have created (myself) over time (that seem permanent like the anon mentioned about her uni)

After i read the post, i would let my thoughts pass by and just focus on “I AM” nothing else and i would feel instant pressure around my third eye, i feel like i’m in a trance. I have done this before too because i follow infinite.ko on instagram and that page is really good if anyone wants to understand or be in the loop of non dualism on ig.

My question to the anon and i’d throw it over to you too lain, if you feel like you have any advice. I want to enter the void, i observe my thoughts pass by and i get the trance like feeling and stay there. To the anon, how did you exactly enter the void? If you don’t mind talking about in more detail as to how you did it? (or anyone reading who has tapped in before in a similar manner)

i won’t be going into my circumstances but i’ll just say every second counts and as much as i detach myself from the situation cause i know that we are all one, it only gives me a temporary solution like i mentioned earlier. I realise there’s nothing to get or desire cause we are all one but i know in my heart that i’d be at so much peace if i would enter the void and fix my problems first. I feel like i can already hear “if you’d truly understand non dualism, you wouldn’t care for the void” and i see it, i promise you i can see how it looks for anyone reading this but any help would be so greatly appreciated.

I’d like to apologise again if this was out of line in any sense.

"I want to enter the void"

what is the void to you? a magical place? its just I AM. alone, with no conditions or labels. you are already that. you just want to realise it. so you want Self, not the void.

"I feel like i can already hear “if you’d truly understand non dualism, you wouldn’t care for the void”"

it sounds like you already understand... if you've read this much then you get that we drop desires here right?

read this and this (this one is loa).

quick quotes from the posts:

However, people treat it as something they have to acquire on the outside, the same as they do with their desires. And that's how the desperation starts. Changing consciousness means changing your state of being. To "reach" the void you don't become desperate in trying to get somewhere, you practice being it! What people do is struggle and expect that by some miracle they'll wake up there. Did I do it right? Was I there??? Where do you expect you're going?

It's still trying from ego so instead of dissolving it, you are seeking for something to happen (like have the mind engulfed by darkness) I don't recommend imagining to be anything, not even emptiness, but instead just disbelieve in the things you see or take yourself to be. 1

the reason you're trying to get into the void is because you don't like your current life and because there are so many aspects you want to change, you're carrying the burden of changing the 3d on your shoulders. you're viewing the void state as something that will magically change and solve everything. so you're trying to get into the void so you can finally change the 3d.

the void obsession is anti-neville, anti-law, anti-mental health, anti-well being, anti-manifesting, anti-everything.

ngl i really hate the void, people are so obsessive over it and it focuses on the wrong thing.

also

"but i know in my heart that i’d be at so much peace if i would enter the void and fix my problems first"

why can't you be happy now? why can't you see whats okay now? why can't you allow yourself some peace through the day now? why are you postponing your own life, happiness and peace for something you may or may not get? you already don't see yourself as the void already so.. you're not losing anything if you stopped striving for the void.

theres ONLY NOW. not later. you can only experience now. why stop yourself feeling a little better NOW?

the desire is not gonna do anything. you can absolutely get everything and then still end up depressed later. you get a high with the desire, and then when everything settles, you go back to being yourself (an ego, if you don't id as Self) and then there'll be more problems to fix. because the ego only wants to fix, consume, try, do etc even to the detriment of itself. all the non-dual bloggers are telling you 'be free of that!'

i've asked before.. do you want to be free or do you want the desire? do you want the truth, or do you want the desires?

things come into the "3d" to die.

[bluiex]

"Where had you been!?" Mumbo said the moment Grian stepped in, getting a shrug in return "Everyone is looking for you everywhere! The king thinks YOU killed Hawkeye and there's guards all over the shopping district i couldn't get anything done!" He complained but the shorter walked directly into the kitchen and opened the fridge, an exasperated noise coming from Mumbo. "Is Hawkeye actually dead?" He finally asked, anxiously running a hand through his hair "i- it's all over the news, they think Xelqua- YOU! Killed him, and with him missing it'll be so much harder to keep the resistance on the low- they're blaming it all on us!" Grian snorted, and that just confused Mumbo even further. "I don't feel very dead to be honest" He yelped when a new voice was heard in the room, turning around so fast he could have snapped his neck or worse, and- "He doesn't look dead to me neither" He could hear the smile in Grian's voice behind him, but he couldn't bring himself to care when none other but Hawkeye was standing right in front of him, and oh god he looks even better in person- WAIT. NO. BAD MUMBO.

The man had a grin on his face, and he looked different than when he'd see him on the TV (not dead!!), the scars all around his body and face were even more noticeable now that he had him in person, and instead of his first thought being acting frightened or protective or any emotion a normal person would feel when there's an unannounced guest at their home, he couldn't stop his brain from going OH HE IS ACTUALLY VERY VERY HOT- The hero's smile seemed to widen even further at his face heating up, walking closer, each step felt slower than the previous "I believe you're Grian's partner, Mumbo! I'm happy to meet you, i was told i can trust you so i'll hold you on to that" "I- you- h- how-?" He sputtered, confusion evident as he looked back at Grian, then to the scarred brunette, then back at Grian "W- weren't we- i- i thought he was our uh- target??" "Well, long story short, he's with us now, the king tried to kill him, i saved him, blah blah blah-" Grian explained as he sat on their kitchen table, looking uninterested but Mumbo knew better. The dirty-blonde would have never taken anyone to their home, while in his civilian clothes, for nothing. He also knew of Mumbo's admiration for Hawkeye, and, even if they were trying to get rid of him, it was because they were after the king, the person the hero was supposed to work for- "You're making it sound way less interesting" The brunette said, and there was something in his voice, so easy and soft that the bantering sounded like a talk between two best friends. "I stayed up all night making sure you didn't bleed out, i'm tired!" The way Grian answered made him think, maybe they weren't just enemies, maybe there was something emerging between all the fighting and chasing around, or maybe it was something that had been lost from a long time ago and was now getting reignited. He knew Grian wouldn't bring just anyone into their home. "Is he okay? He's all red in the face" It took him a second to realize they were now talking about him, but before he could say anything Grian answered for him. "Just give him a moment, he's a big fan of you, your tactics AND your muscles" "GRIAN!!" ===

i. didn't expect to make this so long, mumscarian has taken over my brain, and the Au i made isn't. helping. is anyone up to me sending these lil(not so little now that i got carried away) snippets of it and how mumbo is really down bad for grian and scar? -void(tell me if anyone has this name taken PLEASE) Anon

I'M SCREAMING VOID ANON. I'M YELLING TO THE ROOFTOPS ABOUT HOW AMAZING THIS IS. AND I NEED MOOOORE!!!!

I can just imagine Scar(Hawkeye) walking in, with thag tiddie window open(prob even more so since getting hurt) and Mumbo is just staring as you've written LMAO poor Mumbo gonna die from embarrassment

Mumbo: Oh no he's hot! (squidward meme)

[nomsfaultau]

Daily ask №32

Finale edition!

This has went on for entirely too long, and since I cannot keep this up, I have decided to officially close the daily asks. So, this is a finale of sorts.

1. What was your favourite question out of all? Or just a question that you found particularly interesting.

2. What was your favourite edition out of all? Aka a favourite ask.

3. Did you expect for this to go on for as long as it did? A month? That's not too long but still. What were your general thoughts about it at the start?

4. What questions you hoped I'd ask but I never did? Just in case you have those. Or take this as a space for rambling.

5. Replying to Tubbo from like the 4th or 5th ask, yes the wife revival does work on your wife too. And Rosalind. Boom they're alive now (if they still want them to be) woohoo

6. Any final words from you or the fault crew? Hope they had fun too in theory. With all of the scenarios that I put them into anyways.

Thank YOU for answering all of those questions, giving me the opportunity to ask them in the first place and giving me the opportunity to get to know you and your creations better. Sorry if I was ever annoying or uncreative or anything like that. GOOD LUCK!! CONTINUE CREATING BECAUSE WHAT YOU'RE DOING IS ABSOLUTELY AMAZING!! FAULT MY BELOVED

I'll probably send asks after that too but maybe not every day. So.. be ready : D

its been an honor

1.Undertale ask. Or the swap one. Very difficult to choose. Brain went brrrr and I had to stop myself from making a whole fic.

2. 15, the one about all the symbolism in that bad boy. And Evil Mole. Also the questions about Ranboo inspired new plot points given I was forced to really interrogate that part. 

3.I did not! Very long time, and like ~150 questions! I was honestly amazed you kept thinking up more and in such different directions. I think at the start it would be in that format of asking about the mcyt characters involved that it was initially, and so figured there’d be five of them. Obviously that was blown out of the water ^-^

4.I thought Niki might come up, but honestly she’s still in the oven so information given would be subject to change. Or potentially the NPCs. 

5.Tubbo: welp we did a whole lotta character growth for no reason! 

But for real though everyone is super stoked about it. Makes getting help from Rosalind’s family easier, plus she can safely get supplies from human civilization without needing to worry about discovery. Probably doesn’t really get rid of 100% all Tubbo angst since they still like made that decision and know that about themselves, but still. Feel like everyone (-tommy) might have some reserves because well Foundation employee, but The Blade remembers how she tried to rescue Tommy and so she’s cool in his books. The Rosalind and Wilbur dynamic would be so complicated between the human + Foundation, but nice? helped? nonthreatening? 

As for Martha. Oh she is so confused and so old. Very lovely lady, but life on the run is not meant for her at all. Not necessarily shocked about all the anomalies since she was less skeptical than Rhodes. Also her husband is now the kid she raised, which is like strange ngl. Freud would have a field day with this one. 

6.They’re mostly relieved with the scenarios, since they tend to be a nice laidback break from the Foundation. Plus the cookies were nice. Nom. 

As for me, thank you for caring so much about the story I’ve poured so much love into! From the start I kinda just intended to throw Fault out into the void to get it out of my head, and the fact little Creetures have decided to gather around a poke it is very warming. Especially having actual conversations, translating abstract numbers into real people. Making it seem real. Like, talking, connecting with someone through it, its very overwhelming in a positive way.

[gretavangroupie]

I would like to share something extremely and truly deep... emotional and devoid of any exaggeration.

Vigilance saved my life. and that's it.

I've been a Grestie since 2016 if I remember correctly, Greta Van Fleet played a very important role in my life, their love, their dreams and achievements, seeing them blossom, their music often pulled me back from the voids that always chased me.

At the beginning of the year I found myself again in a pure and cruel void where nothing made sense, recently diagnosed with bipolar depression, I faced the words "Sometimes you'll be fine, sometimes you won't. This is for life." and despite it being something treatable, I was still told that there is no cure, so not even GVF's songs were helping me anymore, simply my hope of being "normal and happy" was ripped away from me.

So I found myself simply looking for something that would make me at least stop thinking about the negative side, something that would distract me, so I thought "What do I love most after music? Stories. And who knows, maybe I can mix the two worlds and experience 'fanfics' and 'one shots'?" So I started reading about them and guess what I found? Vigilance.

And it was just at the beginning of the story, but I was intrigued by the writing, the description of scenarios, the feelings... And it brought to the surface feelings that I hadn't felt in a long time, sometimes the voids lead me to become "numb" from any emotion so when I came across the way Vigilance brought these feelings to the surface with such ease, I was surprised, intrigued, enraptured, it gave me strength to look for what else could bring me "back to life", the little things, words, moments and people.

So, it's been 8 months, is that correct? that I have been reading Vigilance and this has helped a lot in the healing of my heart, mind and soul. Less and less I face the voids and, when I do, the duration is shorter than the last time and so I continue.

I can only thank you and @gretavanmoon for this and I have a feeling others out there might say the same, we'll never know.

I finish by saying that with the last chapter of Vigilance, I begin another in my life, a chapter that was only possible thanks to you.

Thank you for giving me life. With love - V

Anon,

Thank you so much for sending this in, as I know it was probably not easy for you to talk about. I said from the beginning that if this story could help even just one person, it would all be worth to me. So thank you for taking the time to share this with us and giving us the gift of knowing we made an impact.

We received tons of love on this last chapter and we appreciate each and every message, like, comment, reblog etc. But THIS, by far, is the best thing we could have hoped for with the completion of this story. Helping someone feel empowered to make a change.

I am so happy to hear that we helped you, even in this tiny insignificant way, and that you're on the path to happiness, but as Glinda told Dorothy, "You've always had the power my dear, you just had to learn it for yourself."

[pandorafallz]

Vampire AU | Returning to Site 26

Grace’s return back to the Shack was…uneventful aside from the matter that she had Paz drop her off but her mind was still buzzing a little from what she had heard from Mansk.

For two days, she was away handling the aftermath of the Quad’s escape, she had worked with Mansk to help him out with the loss to the SciOps there, going over the details of possibly sending Molly up there if Walker was being sent back. Checked in with the others, except Hale who had been overseeing the mine more personally and Mansk had the gall to drop the news of the IVS Destiny on her in passing when talking about Dr Solis. Not that Mansk knew. She never told anyone aside from Paz and Hale about her daughter.

Her daughter could be alive.

If her heart was beating, she knew she’d be in a flutter and anxious about it; waiting to know when the ship came in planetary range but even then, she knew there was no guarantee she would have survived the trip. RDA protocols and all that bullshit.

If Ridley was alive, she had a chance to…reconnect with her long-lost daughter. If not…. Grace wanted to find the best place possible for her to bury her daughter’s remains. She couldn’t hope… but there was that spark and it was uncomfortable to have.

“You fed before you left, right?” Paz asked suddenly.

Grace nodded airily, the question pulling her attention thankfully away from her daughter. “Should be good for a few days.” She knew better than to return here on all three empty stomachs. She’d welcome the chance back to Hell’s Gate when possible as well so helping with Mansk was a fulfilling trip, so to speak.  She didn’t have to break into another bag tonight. “How’s Miles?”

Paz’s expression pulled in. “Sitting up, ready to start crawling. Not denting his iron teething ring I made but he’s chewed through rubber bottle teats now. I think he needs solids now.”

Grace’s head tilted. “He’ll need blood then… and meat.”

“I’m going to have to start hunting local game. Maybe a viperwolf might sustain him but… I don’t know where to store it if he can keep it down.” There uncertainty was very palpable in her tone ad with how she gripped the stick.

“The void space where our meetings used to be. Since we’re all scattered, we can’t use it.” Grace offered. “It’s far closer than our lab.”

Paz hummed, “I’ve considered the lab. I’ll use it when we can’t hide Mile’s Vampiric habits but.. I hope to hold out for another two months.”

“Try and wait till after the radiation storm week,” Grace suggested, “we can’t leave when that hits and you won’t have the supplies.”

Paz let out a redundant sigh to emphasise her wordless frustration.

Grace patted her arm lightly. “Look, I still have my avatar. I could still get you stuff if you have to ditch before then… but it’ll just be a long goddamn walk.”

Paz’s grip on the stick slacked a little. “Thank you.”

-

Arriving back at Site 26, Grace bid her farewell to Paz, jumped out of the Samson with her bag and headed towards the shack. She couldn’t hear anything questionable, which was a relief. There was no mistake that flame between Norm and Trudy and no doubt they had been waiting until she was gone to properly fuck each other raw. She didn’t need to cross into their minds to know they were both horny and waiting for an opportunity. At least she hoped they’d get it out of their system. She doubted they’d miss it given it was two days and Trudy had been very eager to return, after all.

Boy, she was gonna have to vent that shack to air it out. A lot.

Inside, Grace was proven right but the lingering smell was hours stale, nonetheless, she headed straight to the air con to up the venting system and then tossed her bag into her bed. Norm was in the bathroom, showering if the sound of the water running was any indication.

Trudy was reading on her bed though frowned as she realised who it was. “Shit, why didn’t you let me know to pick you up?” She scrambled out of bed, dressed in a simple tank and shorts.

“I considered it but I figured you were too busy doing something,” Grace spoke, unpacking her clothes and shoving her night clothes under her pillow.

“Shit…” Trudy worried, shaking her head, eyes darting around for her clothes. “I’m going to get into so much trouble.”

“Relax. I told Quaritch you were out with Norm running a sample gathering.”

“Wh-oh.” Trudy blinked in surprise. “Wait, you lied?” She sounded genuinely surprised

Grace raised an eyebrow at the pilot “Did you, at any time, take Norm to get samples in the two days that I was away?” She couldn’t help the slight exasperation because surely they were actual professionals out here to do their jobs.

“Yes,” Trudy said. “He got more of that resin-plant stuff.”

Grace relaxed, giving a satisfied nod. “Then I didn’t lie. I didn’t just specify timings.” Grace Left her bag where it was. “I need to link up. Are the samples in the lab outside?”

Trudy nodded, “I’ll let Norm know when he’s out.”

Grace left her at that without another word, happily starting up her link bed and slipping inside before she opened her big yellow eyes.

Boy, her avatar was complaining. She had linked up once at Hell’s Gate to feed it and take care of its needs but that had been brief since she had work to do elsewhere. Now, her stomach panged with hunger, her mouth dry with thirst and oddly enough, she actually enjoyed the unpleasant sensation as she weakly clambered out of the hammock, not bothering with shoes as she padded out to the fridge for some food. Coming across water first, she drained the bottle quickly then continued her fridge raid.

Grace knew, in some ways, it was wrong to enjoy the unpleasantness of her avatar’s discomforts but… it was the only way she could feel the differences. This body felt alive and screamed for it when needs weren’t met. Her…native body not so much. She missed that, oddly.

She missed how the thirst for water was just a dry mouth and the innate desire for water to saturation that mild sensation, not the horrible burning that grew hotter and hotter and could only be saturated by blood. Or the act of holding her breath, the relief of it when she released it. In her vampire form, she could hold her breath for as long as she wanted and the only discomfort she got was the lack of sense of smell. No relief.

Still, she’s never purposely do anything to harm her avatar and deny its needs when she could easily provide it. It wouldn’t last forever but she had to make sure it lived long. Only body she could age in and live through. It made eating that jello pot all the more delicious to the point she remained crouched in front of the open fridge as she ate. Contemplating another pot or granola bar when a voice rang out…

“This sight would be far funnier at 4 am.”

Grace’s head turned, spoon in mouth. “Hm?”

Norm was sitting up in the hammock, grinning a little as he pulled himself out. “Nothing, nothing.” He waved his hand, taking a second to roll his shoulders and pop something. “How’s the trip?” Norm moved to change his shirt and shorts so she turned away to focus on her quick meal.

She pulled the spoon from her mouth, snagged a granola and tossed the empty jello pot into the trash. “As expected. Selfridge is fuming about it. Quaritch… well I heard very little from him actually. I last heard he was in his office doing research on the defectors.” Grace spoke. “Quaritch has never done that so intently. Honestly, I debated on sending the chapel priest to his office instead. With Salt.”

Norm snorted loudly.

Grace chewed through the bar quickly, taking the moment to grab her day clothes and detoured for the loo but returned happily feeling far more refreshed and Norm was already prepping the lab and the samples he had taken were laid out on the central desk.

It wasn’t just resin samples, she realised but there were a few pots so clearly his sample gathering had been fruitful. She didn’t recognise the sealed container but it looked like it contained a water moss of sorts, a pale white with blue threads of colour. There was a Tsawksyul Petal (also known as  a sun lily), some sort of large orange-sized berries and an Acrid pod.

“You’ve been busy,” Grace noted, pleased.

Norm chuckled softly. “they weren’t easy to get.”

“I’m surprised you found an acrid pod, they don’t tend to be this far out East, they prefer the West’s temperature and biomes, water mostly.”

“I can only assume they grew from animal droppings.”

Grace pursed her lips as she took the pod first, pulling out one of her equipment to gather the oil from one of the twelve pods.

“What was the environment of the acrid pods? Riverside or pond?”

“A stream, actually. It wasn’t alone, there were three more on the rock it was on but I left it at that. The others looked immature.”

“Acrid pods are filled with this crude, thick oil,” Grace explained, watching as the yellow, pus-like liquid filled the syringe. “It can be used as a form of explosive at high speeds or ignited. Some na’vi clans can add these to their bow to increase firepower.”

“Oh, wow” Norm looked at it curiously, “I knew they were flammable but… I didn’t realise they’d be part of Na’vi’s arsenal like that.”

“They don’t use these ones often. I’ve never seen it in action but with this, we can run the chemical composition and see how it works and what it eats through. Once we empty the pods, the seeds, we can study but we can replant them by one of the nearby streams so we shouldn’t have to go too far. Also, the skin looks fascinating. I wonder if it has an internal mucus-like membrane to sustain itself against its oil like a human gut or if it’s immune to its own effects…”

-

Together, they worked for hours and the afternoon was soon becoming closer to twilight, taking apart the samples but setting aside the berry and resin into the sample fridge for another time as they broke down the samples, getting chemical compositions running and Grace took the time to get some people at Hell’s gate to look over what they couldn’t complete in the lab.

Grace set aside the physical samples she’d need to be delivered to Hell’s Gate SciOps lab for tomorrow for that as well, so Trudy was going to be busy tomorrow. They unlinked after their avatar’s dinner and Grace left Norm and Trudy for their meal and settled primarily to sit on her bunk. She didn’t change, even as the two humans finished, washed up, kissed and clambered into their bunks then the lights went out

She just lay there but in the darkness, her mind resurfaced this morning’s news again now she was no longer busy or occupying her mind with work. At least conversation had been a distraction. She didn’t have that now. Left alone with her thoughts and all her work was in the lab and she didn’t have the luxury be able to sleeping through it. Times like this, she damned the vampire’s inability to sleep.

Grace remained still, listening out as the two humans fell into sleep; their heartbeats slowing down and their breathing falling into a relaxed pattern of light sleep but even then, it didn’t offer a sustainable distraction despite trying to track each of their sleeping stages.

Noise outside did however pull her attention. Vampire hands and feet scaling upwards. Grace slipped from her bed and out, snagging a last last-second but didn’t put it on—on the off-chance she was seen coming back in.

The familiar sight of Hale appearing over the edge was a surprise but welcome.

“Katherine?”

Hale’s contacts were out, showing off the red hue that was tinged with darkness but she looked… uncomfortable. “I wished you popped over to MineOps before you left.” She said, leading the way from the front to the far side which covered any view from the shack.

“Everything alright?” Grace followed her though she could smell the dirt on her still and the metallic undertone that somehow lingered in her scent.. She could see the clothes were changed still and clean.

Hale let out a frustrated sigh. “I need some of your blood.” She said and the younger vampire peeled off her gloves and shrugged off her jacket, dropping them to the grass.

“Oh shit.” Grace reached for Hale’s arm.

Burgundy Splotches, almost like dust-patterns coated her skin like a horrible rash. Clear as anything with their eyesight despite the darkness of night. Hale pulled her hands away, only to pull down the collar of her turtle neck where more irritated skin was there as well and no doubt more underneath

“Unobtainium rashes,” Grace noted in concern, her hand touching the long curve of discolouration along her jugular, noting how it traced under the mask line. “I thought you were able to handle it.”

“We need to upgrade the filters in the refinery but we have no due-cause just yet for me to just do it. Nothing’s flagged up yet. Our other filters are struggling but keeping up. The downside is we need Selfridge’s stamp of approval to implement the upgrades both prompted and unprompted” Hale said, “The mask protects my face but the dust particles are settling into my clothes now. I shower every night but this keeps happening after I do my visit. It aches but doesn’t itch. Thankfully.”

Grace examined the rash. “These are more like blood spots, you’re body’s trying to heal from the exposure. How’s your thirst?”

“Not the best,” Hale admitted. “I’ve had to feed a little more than usual but it’s not enough. Since we’re MineOps, we can wash and decom our clothes as much as we want to avoid contamination but it’s hard to keep up.”

Within their group, Grace came to learn that while unobtainium was an irritant to vampire biology, not as bad as silver which flat-out burned on contact but this, with contact their bodies seemed to react with a rash instead which took time to go down once the source of the flair was removed from contact without fresh vampire blood. The flair was gone, now but the marks were still healing.

Now, younger vampires didn’t quite have the same vampire blood reserves as a mature vampire would. It took years after the transformation for a vampire’s heart to create enough of their Vampiric blood cells to fill their body and saturate through the current supplied in their veins. The blood cells would act as stem cells; to heal and grow for what the body needs. A mature vampire has blue blood to show their biological maturity (and the fact vampire blood was by nature unoxygenated). A younger would have red which would darken over time.

Henrik, being the youngest had a dark red, Paz and Hale had become burgundy, and baby Miles had a darker shade than his mother’s (and clearly non-human to outsiders). Since her turning, Grace’s blood had darkened to an egg-plant purple now and the rest of their group were at the shade of navy blue.

This meant that healing was also age-subjective as their vampire blood was a key factor to healing. A mature vampire would certainly heal more rapidly than a newly-turned. A Sire’s blood was more efficient than mature blood from another vampire. The closest ‘genetic’ match for vampire biology. It also means they couldn’t risk spilling blood in front of humans; that’d sell them out for sure.

From what she could see, Hale’s body was struggling to heal. If this carried on, the rashes would start to leave marks. Permanently.

Grace silently rolled up her sleeve and pushed it up her arm. “Have at it.” She said, there was no point delaying this, she still had a responsibility to maintain care over those she turned, even if it was the ever-prominent reminder of what they were. At least in her avatar, she could have moments to pretend.

There was no hesitation or awkwardness over it as Kathrine closed the distance and bit straight into the brachial artery at the crook of her elbow. Graced hissed out a little at the pain but it didn’t last too long. She twisted to better look Katherine's arm as she fed but gladly noted as the red spots began to fade out.

“You’re done,” Grace said, as the last few marks began to disappear entirely however, Hale didn’t stop or release so she yanked the fellow red-haired by the ponytail. “Stop.”

Katherine hissed, pulling back and baring her jaw with sharpened teeth in an irritable manner but Grace matched her, her teeth sharpening into fangs. She yanked her head back by the pony again, having not let go to remind the young vampire of her position. There was still a hierarchy between sires and their childes.

She best remembers that.

It took a few seconds before Katherine’s teeth reverted back to blunt-human-like teeth before Grace let go to heal her arm, glad to see that she hadn’t gotten blood on her clothes at the very least. Not something she wanted to talk to Norm about if she didn’t wash her clothes in time.

Hale licked her lips clean, taking a further second to compose herself. “Thank you.” She looked sharply towards the shack. “Your colleague’s woken up and wondering where you are.”

“Damn it, Norm.” She listened out, hearing him slowly clambering out of bed. It was 2 am, probably confused. Just what she needed right now. Grace slipped on the mask, glad for once she hadn’t removed her contact lenses.

“Why don’t you sit outside the shack, say you’re star gazing. New constellations?” Katherine suggested, adjusting her attire back, her jacket back on and gloves.

“Try and hold out but come to me if the rashes are that bad again.” Grace nodded to her arm as she said this. Katherine saluted and then jumped very casually off the mountain, her clothes rustling loudly in her descent.

With the lesser gravity, she was still falling by the time Grace moved and flittered back to the shack, sliding to sit outside the shack steps and ten seconds later, the airlock door opened before a very groggy-sounding Norm spoke.

“Grace? What are you doing? It’s 2 am. It’s not safe at night”

“Couldn’t sleep,” Grace said, not technically lying and letting out a sigh. “Insomnia is very common with avatar drivers…long-term.” She added. Again, not a lie. “Sorry… I didn’t want to wake you up.”

Norm stared at her for a long moment, frowning at her behind his mask. “Are you okay?”

Grace hummed. “Of course.”

Norm didn’t look convinced. “You know, you can talk to me if there’s something on your mind. Me and Trudy are here.”

“I know.”

Norm stared for a long moment then let go of the door, passing out and slowly sunk down beside her, taking a moment to look around, then up.

Silence fell between them for a few minutes.

“It’s weird to think Earth is upwards. We came from so far away and now, we’re looking up at our home world and…can’t even see it.”  Norm chuckled softly. “Has the RDA done any astrology studies from Pandora?”

“Not really. We travel through space, we don’t need to study the constellations again.” Grace admitted. “RDA won’t fund for it either. A redundant science.”

“I wonder what clans chart the sky.”

“From what Dr Harper told me of the clan, the Anurai clan have astrologists, or as they say, Stargazer,” Grace spoke.

“You know, if we ever get to meet one of the Na’vi, we should ask, right?”

Grace peered at him softly but said nothing. She could see where his question was coming from; to know the Na’vi’s perspective on space and how they saw the outside world. It was interesting, from a cultural standpoint but she’d leave those questions for him to ask.

After a moment, Norm sighed again, twitching a little in discomfort and his knee gave a quiet pop as he stretched out a little.

Her gaze turned up to the sky for a moment. She could see so much more but didn’t want to point anything out. She couldn’t remember the limit of human eyes. Even her avatar eyes were better than human eyes. Still, there was little to no light pollution in the mountains so even Norm had a spectacular view of the sky.

It was weird to think that… soon there would be another ship coming. Another ship coming that had her daughter on. Alive…dead… but here all the same.

“Ridley might be alive,” Grace stated quietly.

Norm’s head turned to her suddenly, eyes widening. “R-Really?”

Grace shrugged. “Just…rumour someone from higher up mentioned that…the IVS Density was located…and on its way. No passenger confirmation. She might be dead still.”

Norm looked a little startled before he let out a huff. “No wonder you’re out here.” He remarked, “Sorry if that sounded off...” He realised a second later.

Grace shook her head. “It’s fine, Norm.”

“No, it’s not but thanks, I guess.” He looked up to the stars as well. “If…you don’t mind me asking but…what’s she like? Your daughter?”

Grace let out a deep, redundant breath. “Honestly… I wish I knew. Before I left, she was this adorable, clingy two-year-old who tried to hide in my luggage or sneak into my bed. She absolutely loved water.” She smiled softly. “After the umbilical stump finally fell off, I started to let her float in the kitchen sink for me to study. She loved simply floating. She had this inflatable neck support that kept her head out of the water but… it allowed me to work and study beside her. I still had to get through avatar training and my Ph.D.s. Doing that with a new-born… really difficult”

Norm smiled softly, “Sounds adorable.”

“Ridley cried every time I had to pull her out.” She remembered how it used to tear at her heart to hear her cry so hard and her father had to stop her putting the baby back in the sink. Post-partum had not been easy but with her father’s support, she never would have made it in either her work or child-rearing.

“What was she trained in?”

“Well… Xenobotanist but she chose a speciality in water-based plants and life forms. I’m not surprised.” She had been following her daughter’s career the best she could in Pandora. “She’s trained in Xenoanthropology and Xenolinguistics. Dr Harper accepted her application into the Avatar program but I bet a lot of people are gonna make assumptions...” she wasn’t looking forward to that. If Ridley had become anything like her, she was probably gonna be equally annoyed about it. Ridley didn’t get a free pass to Pandora because of their relation. She earned it like everyone else (except Sully but she didn’t count him). She hadn’t been head of SciOps for nine years, only three and a half years but they weren’t gonna remember that now, would they?

“She’ll have an avatar?”

Grace nodded gently. “If it’s and she’s still alive, yes.”

Norm hummed softly, his tone gentle. “I hope she’s okay.”

“I hope I get to know her again. It’s… I know there’s a chance she won’t remember me but I hope she’ll talk to me.” That worried her the most really. What if Ridley wanted nothing to do with her? While they shared the same family name…a face even, they could be too different to get along. Or maybe Ridley just wanted to keep things at a professional distance. What if Ridley resented her for leaving?

“I hope so too, Grace. I really do.” Norm reached a little awkwardly, patting her on the shoulder but he took a sudden intake of breath, jaw clenching and nostrils fared as he tried to suppress a yawn, his eyes watering a little.

“Bedtime,” Grace decided, rising to her feet.

Norm shook his head. “It's fine, I can stay up a little longer. You can…keep talking. It’ll make you feel better.”

Grace shook her head but offered him a tired smile of gratitude. “Tomorrow…maybe.” She reached for the airlock, holding it open for him to clamber to his feet and head in first.

She did feel a little better, now that she realised it. Lighter, even but it was no guarantee the weight wouldn’t come back.

She just hoped Ridley was alive. It would be nice to be a mother again.

Masterlist

[dead-man-in-the-grave]

Season Switch (Really Just Means Floating In The Void For Months On End)

(Cross-posted on AO3)

part one | part two | part three | part four (you are here)

It's the end of the world.

All the Hermits' builds, their animals, their farms… the bases and shops and everything that's been done, all the impossibilities that had become possible with some redstone and spite…

Grian's Midnight Alley that he never got to finish the back of…

Scar's Swaggon that would certainly have even more wagons if he'd had the time to build them…

Mumbo's redstone machines that he'd spent hours upon hours tinkering with…

Impulse's factory that was almost completely empty on the inside…

Pearl's own tower, and her upside-down animals, and Padllama Co….

The Boatem Pole.

It was all gone, and it was all her fault.

She couldn't even reign in her powers for one whole season.

Could she get any more useless?

And even though she ruined their world, their hard work, their home… no one is mad at her.

No one has yelled. No one has glared. No one has disconnected her tethering cable and allowed her to drift off into the Void.

No one is mad, and Pearl doesn't understand.

She is the daughter of the Moon. She is a demigod. She's supposed to be better than this.

And yet, the Moon still fell from the sky.

She still failed.

…

Pearl wishes they would untether her; let her drift away, never to be seen again.

It'd be better that way.

Scar belts out the lyrics to Wellerman as loud as he can, clapping to the beat as he does. Mumbo and Impulse have joined in on his shenanigans, Mumbo hesitantly – almost shyly – and Impulse with reckless abandon. Grian rolls his eyes, but fails to hide his fond grin.

Pearl, though… hm.

Pearl seems bothered. Her knees are tucked up to her face, arms wrapped around her legs, and wings obscuring as much of her as they can. She's been like that ever since they jumped into the Void.

Scar knows the others have noticed, based on the worried looks they keep sending her, and they've also tried to snap her out of it. Nothing has worked so far, though.

The last lines of the song fade out, echoing out into the empty expanse around them.

It's quiet for a moment. A ringing makes itself known in Scar's ears.

"Are you actually done this time, or are you gonna start singing Drunken Sailor again?" Grian asks, arms folded over his chest, still smiling fondly. Scar laughs in turn.

"I could sing A Whole New World instead?"

"The last time you sung A Whole New World you dropped us both in the Boatem Hole."

"And what a fun time it was," Scar sighs wistfully.

He doesn't miss that, just on the edge of his vision, Pearl curls up tighter, tensing up.

But why?

She doesn't have reason to be tense at the mention of the Boatem Hole, at least, Scar didn't think so. Maybe something had happened near the end of the season relating to it…?

…

Wait.

The moon crashing into the server! That's why she's upset! She's a moon demigod, isn't she? She must think that the moon crashed because of her powers!

…Well, Scar has no evidence that it didn't. But in the event that it was her powers that had done it, he was sure it wasn't intentional, let alone malicious. It was obvious how guilty she felt from her disposition alone.

Scar decided he wouldn't let her feel guilty all on her own.

He just needed to figure out how to help…

Grian is worried about Pearl.

She's been… distant, lately.

Not physically distant, not at all - their tethering cables keep them connected even as they float through the endless darkness that is the Void - but emotionally distant.

Even when Scar went through what must've been his hundredth time singing one of the two sea shanties he knows, she didn't smile, or grimace, or emote at all. It was as though she turned into a brick wall.

Something is wrong.

Grian had tried talking to her. A few times, actually. The only result was her closing off more.

Does she still think that she's at fault? He thought they'd drilled it into her head that none of them blamed her for the whole moon thing. Maybe she's worried about what the other Hermits would think?

Grian shifts his wings, inadvertently pulling the sleeping forms of Scar and Mumbo closer, as they're using the feathery appendages as makeshift blankets. Impulse is also asleep on Scar's other side. And on the other side of Mumbo…

Pearl is curled into the same ball she has been for the past two weeks. Grian thinks she might also be asleep, but then again, the tense, coiled position her body is in would indicate otherwise.

Grian wants nothing more than to pull her out of the shell she's encased herself in, but she's been putting up one hell of a fight.

A sigh escapes Grian, and he wishes – not for the first time – that he could sleep while out in the Void. Something about his Watcher side absorbing energy from the endless expanse of nothing dashes any chance of him getting any shut-eye. 

In contrast, the others are rarely fully conscious. Mumbo and Impulse have been asleep practically the whole time they've been out here, and Scar has been awake only about half the time.

And Pearl… well, she's barely interacted with anyone aside from a few nods and the occasional murmur, so Grian's not entirely sure how often she's slept.

Grian licks his dry, chapped lips, and swallows down the painful lump that had grown in his throat.

"Hey, Pearl?"

At the sound of his voice, she only ducks her head down impossibly farther. Every muscle he can see is tense. She says nothing back.

"...Nevermind."

Grian closes his eyes, and lets his mind wander.

Pearl lifts her head from her knees, stretching her sore muscles for what must have been the first time in days. Grian's eyes are closed, his head is tipped back in a facsimile of sleep. She knows he can't sleep out here, the Watcher in his blood wouldn't allow it.

He looks peaceful, she can't help but think, with (his friends? partners?) Mumbo and Scar wrapped in his multi-colour wings, drifting in the endless nothing.

She wonders, passingly, why he'd called out to her. What had he been going to say?

Was he finally going to get mad at her? Finally, was she going to be untethered from Mumbo and Impulse, allowed to float away like the garbage she's sure she is? Or would he have tried to lie, say that no one blamed her for her own mistake? Left her to wonder when the other shoe would drop?

Well, it's not like it matters, anyway.

She resolutely ignores the stinging behind her eyes. It doesn't matter.

It doesn't matter.

She repeats it like a mantra.

It doesn't matter it doesn't matter it doesn't matter.

She doesn't matter.

Pearl closes her eyes and feigns sleep, hoping that it would claim her soon.

She knew it wouldn't.

The Void is pretty boring, if Impulse is honest.

There's nothing to do but talk to the others and sleep, and sleeping all the time was getting dull.

There wasn't even any redstone for him to tinker with! How's he supposed to keep his hands occupied?

Mumbo seems to be feeling the lack of redstone just as much as himself, based on the way he's always wringing his hands together and looking stressed. Impulse has to catch himself from doing the same thing absentmindedly.

The only real source of entertainment is watching Mumbo and Grian blush and stutter whenever Scar decides to tell them they're cute completely unprompted. And even then, that's only when everyone is awake at the same time.

Impulse can't help feeling like a fourth wheel whenever that happens, though. The three of them are very cute together, of course, but when they all get caught up in their own little world together, Impulse ends up on his own.

Well, not completely on his own. There is Pearl.

He glances over at her, and like usual, she's got her head tucked against her knees, face hidden from view.

So, in other words, he's basically completely on his own.

He turns his attention to the three lovebirds and finds them, predictably, curled up together.

Grian's wings are wrapped around the other two, and he has one hand in Mumbo's hair. Mumbo himself is out cold, drooling a bit on the inside of his helmet where it rests on Grian's shoulder, and Scar is resting his folded arms on Grian's stomach as he blathers on about something inconsequential. He's kicking his legs back and forth in the air the way those high school girls in movies do.

They're good for each other.

Impulse shuts his eyes, and hopes that they'll be out of the Void soon.

"Um, guys?" Mumbo speaks up, staring off into the distance with furrowed brows. "I think I see something…"

There's a speck of… something, way off in the Void. Barely noticeable, but it was strange to see much of anything out here, so Mumbo had latched onto it, squinting and turning his head in an attempt to make sense of… whatever it was.

"What? Where?" Grian asks head swivelling around to try and spot it.

Mumbo points a finger between Scar and Impulse, who both turn and look in that direction as well. He even sees Pearl look up from the corner of his vision.

All five of them stare into the Void, searching for the thing – that looks somewhat like a star, now that Mumbo thinks about it.

It's green, or maybe blue? It's hard to tell, with how small it is, but it glitters and sparkles in the blackness like a lone star in the night sky.

"Well, what're we waiting for?" Scar pipes up. His wings sprout from his back, and he flaps them a few times. "We'll never know what it is if we don't get closer!" He flips around and starts flying toward the sparkle, pulling the rest of them along with him.

Mumbo catches Grian rolling his eyes before flying up next to Scar and pulling some of their weight himself.

As they fly closer, the sparkle gets bigger, and bigger, and bigger until Mumbo can clearly see green grass and trees, grey stone, and blue water and skies inside of it. Because it's not just a random sparkle…

It's a portal.

It's a portal back to the overworld!

The others also seem to realise what it is, because Impulse is grinning from ear to ear and Grian and Scar are flying them all at a breakneck pace directly at the portal.

Pearl, when he looks, has finally uncurled from her ball. She looks to be in shock, eyes not quite seeing.

At least she's not curled up like she was before.

Scar and Grian shoot through the portal, the rest of them careening through after them.

Gravity takes hold the moment they're out of the Void, the combined weight of Mumbo, Impulse, and Pearl weighing down the two fliers too much to stay airborne.

Boatem falls into a heap of bodies and wings and tethering cords onto the stone ground.

Mumbo ends up landing on top of Grian and Impulse, Pearl having landed on top of him, and Scar laying face down a short distance away. The space suits seemed to save them from most of the fall damage, but the now-unfamiliar weight of gravity made it hard to move.

"M-Mumbo…! I c- I can't breathe!" Grian wheezes somewhere beneath him. Mumbo gathers all the strength he can and rolls off Grian, making Pearl topple off him in the process.

They all lay there for a moment, reacclimating to the force of gravity.

Scar, still face-down, starts to giggle, and it doesn't take long for the rest of them to join in.

Even Pearl, who's been out of it since they entered the Void, lets out a wet chuckle or two.

Mumbo can't help but think they'll all be okay.

Grian is the first to stand. He disconnects the cords tethering him to Scar and himself, and then removes his helmet.

Impulse is next, cracking his back as he stands, and Mumbo follows suit.

"Uhm, guys? I don't think I can stand on my own," Scar says from where he's managed to roll onto his back and get his helmet off. His wings have disappeared and he's sprawled out on the stone in a way that just can't be comfortable.

Impulse, his helmet now removed as well, pulls Scar to his feet and allows himself to be used as support.

Mumbo detaches his own helmet from the rest of his spacesuit, and is instantly hit with what must be the freshest air he's breathed in forever. The way the spacesuits recycled air made it livable long-term, but it got stale fast.

He vows to never take fresh air for granted again.

"Wonderful of you guys to join us," a new, but familiar voice butts in.

Mumbo turns, and just a little ways up the stone hill is Xisuma. He's got his admin control panel open in front of him and is typing almost frantically. There are seven different portals open around him, just like the one he and the rest of Boatem had come through.

There are also several other hermits wandering about. Zedaph is pacing around and writing things on a clipboard (where he got that, Mumbo doesn't know), Ren, Doc, Keralis, and Iskall  have begun deforesting the nearby birch forest, and Beef, Stress, and False are mining the exposed coal and copper from the stone hillside.

"You're the first ones to come through a portal," Xisuma says, "So at least I know that will work for everyone else as well."

As though on cue, Gem steps through one of the open portals, stumbling slightly, most likely unused to the much more powerful gravity here than on Season Eight.

"It's taking quite a bit out of me to generate the server, keep it stable, and keep all these portals open, though," X says, condensation fogging up his visor. "I'm not sure how much longer I can keep it up."

"I can help," Grian, who had at some point made his way to Mumbo's side, pipes up. He makes his way over to X and his admin panel. "I've been an admin for three servers before, I know what I'm doing." Xisuma nods in thanks.

And that is the moment when Mumbo completely loses track of what's happening.

X slides the panel over to Grian, who, instead of typing like X had, he sticks his hands directly into it. The panel changes from glowing Xisuma's signature green to a purple similar to that of a nether portal.

X immediately slumps like the weight of the world was just lifted off his back – which is basically exactly what just happened, actually – and Grian's eyes start glowing the same purple as the panel.

"Who are we missing?" Grian eyes flitting back and forth, but looking at nothing.

Weird.

"Tango, Cleo, Joe, Wels, Cub, and Jevin. Everyone else is here already."

"Alright then, here we go…" The panel glows brighter than before. It hurts Mumbo's eyes, but he can't seem to look away.

And then, there's code on the panel, moving so fast Mumbo couldn't ever hope to read any of it, let alone understand it.

"Holy moly," Scar says, and Mumbo can't help but agree. Holy moly, indeed.

All at once, there are figures falling out of the portals. Every missing hermit Xisuma had mentioned were now there, in heaps on the ground.

"That's everyone, right?" Grian asks, sweat building on his brow. X, who'd been staring wide-eyed, snapped out of his stupor and nodded.

"That's everyone."

Grian rips his hands out of the admin panel, and it turns back to it's normal green and closes. His eyes stop glowing as well.

It's quiet.

"I think I'm gonna pass out now."

Xisuma manages to catch Grian before he hits the stone ground.

Grian knocks on the door of Pearl's starter base, wringing his hands together nervously.

It had been three days since they'd arrived in Season 9, or so he was told. He'd been unconscious the whole time, recovering from the huge amount of energy he spent pulling hermits through portals and helping Xisuma keep the server stable.

Y'know, the typical stuff that happens at the beginning of a season.

The door opens to reveal Pearl, bags under her eyes and hair clearly unbrushed under her jacket's hood.

"Oh," she says, clearly not expecting to see him, "hi, Grian."

"Hey, Pearl. Can we talk?"

"I-" Her eyes flit back and forth, never landing anywhere for more than a tick, and never meeting his gaze.

She's looking for an excuse, he realises.

"Pearl," Grian says, desperate, "please."

She huffs, and continues to not meet his eye, but she opens the door wide enough for him to enter.

He follows her inside, and she leads him to an oak table set under an azalea plant with two oak chairs to match. Grian's head is on a swivel taking in every little detail of her base. The floors are spruce and stone bricks topped off with a moss carpet, the walls are sandstone, terracotta, and jungle and birch wood, and the ceiling is made of oak and warped wood.

It's made of so many different woods and stones that it should clash, but Pearl somehow found a way to make it work.

Pearl sits down at the table, and Grian takes the remaining chair.

Neither of them speak.

"So…" Grian says after a while.

"So," Pearl repeats, "what did you… want to talk about?"

"I think you know."

She pulls her legs up onto her chair, pulling her knees close to her chest and obscuring half her face. It's reminiscent of how she was while they were in the Void.

She's closing off.

"And if I do…?"

Grian ponders his next words carefully.

"Well," he licks his lips. His mouth is dry. He fixes his eyes onto the table as he begins to speak. "If you did know… I'd say that it wasn't your fault, even if you think it is. And- and no one blames you, because the season would've ended eventually anyway. And yeah, maybe it was your powers that did it, but you can't be sure! There are a load of other factors that you had no part in! And… nobody could have stopped it."

He hears a small sniffle and a shaky exhale, and Grian looks up at Pearl to find her on the verge of tears.

His heart tightens in his chest.

"Oh, Pearl…" Grian stands from his chair and wraps his arms around her neck. Pearl leans her full weight into him without hesitation. He feels her arms wrap around his back and clutch at his sweater, and she buries her face in his shoulder.

She lets out a broken wail, muffled by the sweater. Grian gently pulls off her hood and runs his fingers through her hair. There's a wet patch forming on his shoulder.

Grian's not sure how long they stay like that. He eventually devolves into braiding Pearl's hair while she sniffles and cries out the last of her tears.

"...I got snot on your sweater…" She pulls away from the hug, seemingly to inspect the damage, but Grian waves her off. 

"It'll wash out."

Pearl looks like she wants to protest, but lets it go. She doesn't say anything more, but seems to have something on her mind still. Grian stays quiet, letting her sort out her thoughts.

Finally, she speaks.

"You're sure no one's mad?"

"Positive."

"You promise?" She says. She leans forward. Grian can see the desperation in her eyes.

He takes her hands in his own, and gives a light squeeze. She squeezes back, and Grian knocks their foreheads together.

"I promise."

[tinypinkmouse]

So I had this ridiculous cracky fic idea and despite my best efforts I haven't been able to get rid of it. So here's the idea, I guess.

Okay bear with me for a moment here as I start with saying that I'm not up with current Marvel canon or fanon, and I don't know where people are at with any of that these days. In spite of that I was thinking of Loki (definitely have not seen any of the show, there is a show, right?). Anyway, I liked the thing people did at one point where they mixed Marvel Loki with whatever bits of mythology you please and more or less ended up with single mother of monsters Loki.

Onto to the actual idea then. So, what if Loki sends his kids away to some hopeful safety? Because he knows bad things will happen to them otherwise. Well, okay, unless they're all the same age, some bad things would probably already have happened to some of them. Lets go with some combination of prophecy, them being monsters and Odin being an asshole.

In that case, lets say Hela is the new one. Yeah, not accurate to anything probably but whatever, the thought of baby Hela is cute and anyway, I figure the others are easier for Loki to sneakily free once Hela is born so he can send them all away at once. If he did one at a time there would be suspicions so it needs to be everyone all at once. So Loki plans, Hela is born and then he gets everyone free. Right. Totally makes sense so far.

And then he sends them all away because for reasons he can't go with them himself. Hopefully if he stays behind people either won't be interested in going after them, or he can somehow prevent it from happening. Anyway, to the actual point of all of this. The kids end up on ancient Haixing, just in time to be found by baby!Shen Wei and Zhao Yunlan as Kunlun.

There's an eight legged horse and Zhao Yunlan has no idea if that's a thing in the past or if he should be very confused. Anyway, what with all the Yashou around, I'm pretty sure they'd be down with the idea that not all people are always people shaped, and these are kids and there's even a baby and obviously someone needs to take care of them.

Right, so, I have no plans whatsoever for writing a story where Shen Wei doesn't end up taking a dirt nap and raises some not very human kids together with Zhao Yunlan instead. Because look a very large and determined snake could probably prevent Zhao Yunlan from being Hallows-snatched and maybe Ye Zun doesn't fall down that hole either and so Shen Wei doesn't need to fall either.

Okay so maybe I also had a thought about how the whole not falling happens. Because Sleipnir while being a horse, maybe technically should be able to shapeshift, he just never has. Possibly because of something Odin did even. Anyway, the first time he does turn into a human is when Shen Wei is trying to hold onto Ye Zun, so he can help hold on because hooves are just not good for holding onto people. Why the kids are there in the first place, well, Sleipnir is a war horse so that makes sense. And maybe some of the others just kind of... snuck after them or something. Because why not.

Yeah, so. Then the kids have three surrogate parents suddenly. (Well once Shen Wei and Ye Zun talk through things anyway, but I figure they'll get there.) And then eventually, (once the first Thor movie has had time to happen) Loki falls through the void and instead of ending up wherever finds himself on Haixing. And yes, I realise I've now stuck everyone in old timey Haixing, because I don't think it's going to take ten thousand years for Loki to find his way there. Idk, they can figure out the Treaty and Dixing's place in things in the meantime and raise some kids and generally try to give everyone some space to recover from their various traumas. Before throwing Loki and all his issues at them, and his feelings about his kids finding other family even if that is a good thing because Loki sent them somewhere where there was someone who could keep them safe even if he didn't know exactly where that would be.

Yeah, that's about it. I definitely haven't thought about any of this. Because it's a ridiculous idea, and spending time thinking about it would be ridiculous.

[sharkiethedork]

Hi so I finished reading A Beautifully Foolish Endeavor by Hank Green the other day and I really enjoyed it! I do have a couple rambley nitpicks on how I thought the story was gonna go but I don't know anyone else who's read these books yet so I'm gonna throw it out here into the void. so spoilers below! (I do highly recommend these two books though so if you do read them we can talk about them hehe)

Okay I was SURE that the text that Miranda got from Maya about the the dresses was actually from Carl's Brother/One dgsdfgs like! I was reading that part and right when Miranda starts speculating on what Maya meant by that, I had a really incredible moment of dread when I remembered that, oh shit, April chucked Maya's phone out of the car earlier! I thought One got ahold of the phone or signal or whatever and sent that text to make Miranda feel bad and start doubting her friends so she would get mixed up in Altus easier! I believe Carl gives Maya her phone back in the next chapter and I was kind of waiting for that reveal to be made for a good chunk of the book, but then Maya said that she did send that text when she rescues Miranda from the Altus space. (And for a moment, that also made me wonder if that was actually a fake out too! But that wouldn't make much sense for One to do since Miranda didn't know they'd be coming to get her then anyway)

Which, isn't a problem and I know the whole book wasn't always strictly chronological so that's fine. Maybe I'm just a sucker for when the villain completely plays the protagonists (which, to be fair, was the case when it came to the Thread so I did get what I wanted in that way lol) but I was very slightly disappointed that my foreshadowing senses were slightly off there haha

And secondly. I was positive Robin was gonna die at some point lol. He's the only member of the gang who didn't have any chapters in the book, and Andy said something to the affect of "I never learned more about why Robin has issues with dating" after their heart-to-heat scene (Which was a scene I really adored btw). It just turns out that Robin just kinda...stopped showing up about 3/4th the way though.

While I definitely get that it probably wasn't feasible to have a SIXTH narrator in the book, and as an aspirational writer with a few minor projects under my belt I'm very aware that sometimes you just end up having a character that just kinda doesn't have anything to do later on and falls to the wayside, Robin's absence did kind of feel like a missed opportunity. Robin's reveal that he knew April's agent whos name escapes me soz was also working for Petrawiki was the partial catalyst that led to April "dying" in the first book, and he makes it clear to Andy that he's wracked with guilt about it. If I recall, the only interaction we get between him and April is that she hugs him when he shows up at the penthouse, and I'm pretty sure that scene ends up being his last appearance or at least his last major one. I think it would have been great if some time was spent in an April chapter where they make up. It's fine if April has forgiven him since then, but having some closure between them on the page would have been really great. Oh well.

At the very least when it comes to him not being a narrator, I can easily imagine them asking Robin to help write the book but he's just like "Hey it was your guys' job to do all the work on the ground, my job is to be your agent and get it out there, let me do that well."

Other than those two frankly minor nitpicks I thought ABFE was really good! I wish I had read them sooner but they came out while I was in the middle of my like five years where I didn't read shit, and also I hadn't been paying much attention to Nerdfighteria so I was only vaguely aware of the books for a while. I think I slightly prefer An Absolutely Remarkable Thing although I'm not super sure why I do, but you can't just stop at the first one!