#maybe it was a way of protecting himself from ostracization that he forced himself to suppress those powers

[wrongcaitlyn]

so i was gonna do a full ass like actual essay and formatted as an argument essay thing for the why will is extremely powerful argument but turns out that after writing seven essays in less than a week, you don’t have much motivation to write anymore, even if it’s a subject that you want to talk about!

so instead i’ve got bullet points

so first of all, it’s canon that will came to camp when he was ten. yes he was on a trip to new york, but he still had somehow a strong enough scent to get attacked by stymphalian birds and be found by a satyr, when the average age for demigods to be taken to camp is around 12-13 (im assuming, bc 13 is the age they need to be claimed by)

now im just gonna go over his powers which are honestly crazily overlooked?? like obviously it’s partly his inner monologue that makes him seem way less powerful than he is, but i think we tend to glaze over the sheer variety and number of powers that he has, which is scarily impressive 

this isn’t part of the argument but if you go to the fan wiki one of his abilities is will power and ik it’s talking abt like resilience but i find that so funny and i love that pun😭

so YES WILL POWER‼️

now onto the actual powers (even though that should also not be overlooked, and i will come back to it later)

so starting with the obvious is healing. we aren’t exactly sure to what extent the other apollo kids’ healing powers are, but we do know that will is one of the strongest in that field - if not the strongest in a long time (if we’re assuming that that’s why is abilities in archery and music are slightly lessened - going with the idea that demigods will mainly inherit one of their parent’s fields). it’s a very popular hc that he’s the strongest healer in like centuries but i’m just gonna go with canon here - so we just know that he’s an incredibly strong healer, running the infirmary on his own, even managing to reattach limbs (toa, the hidden oracle)

still, when i’m talking about powerful, i’m talking about the kind of powerful that people tend to overlook with will - i’m talking about fighting powerful, like would get incredibly close to beating a big three kid in a fight at his full potential powerful

so in no particular order, here are powers that will has that are fucking badass and that we dont seem to talk about??

the ultrasonic whistle. are you KIDDING. he managed to use this against the romans in boo, and it worked particular well for the monsters with sharper hearing - but it still affects humans to a great extent, and, if anything, can most definitely be used as a distraction. and what good is a distraction in a serious fight? that split second that an opponent would be clutching their ears in pain would be the perfect moment for

light rays. in tsats, he managed to project the light within him into a light ray (that nico compares to a care bear lmfao), and guys??? that literally killed a demon (epiales). it only managed to shock and slightly singe nyx, and it severely exhausted him, but i think we’re also forgetting the very important fact that this was done in the underworld. aka, away from the sunlight which we know is fueling his power, or, at the very least, his energy - aka why he brings a little sun lamp with him on the tsats quest, and is just generally having a miserable time out there. it’s made increasingly obvious throughout the book that will is weak in the underworld. he gets a rush of energy when they’re near persephone’s garden, but that’s it - everywhere else in the underworld is quite literally draining him because he’s a child of the sun - and even more so connected to it, and Apollo, i’d say, than any other siblings

because of his ability to glow. now, i know that this power isn’t necessarily helpful in a fight or anything, but i just wanted to point it out because apollo compares it his and nero’s glow while in godly rage (toa, tower of nero)

that comparison specifically, combined with the fact that apollo said it’s incredibly rare for one of his kids to inherit this domain, makes me assume that this projection of light is a sign of something more for him

but im not going to dive into that because this is about canon information and not my own assumptions lmfao

anyway, the fact that he managed to pull his most powerful feat, i’d say, in tartarus? yeah, that’s insane. we should talk about that more. if he managed to kill a demon in the underworld, and affect a primordial goddess after an entire quest in tartarus, what does that mean for his light rays on earth? how would that affect a god? a regular monster? a human?

i don’t have an answer, but i have my own opinions, and that’s that he could kill a monster or a human easily. i do think he’d be able to take on a minor god - not kill, obviously, but maim them at the very least with those powers and on a sunny day

there’s also light/power channeling. technically, this isn’t him on his own, but it still deserves an honorable mention as will was able to make nico even more powerful - just thinking of in a fight, if he managed to do that (what an iconic power couple)

okay and then last but not least - sunburn immunity

just kiddingslkdfjs 

FUCKING PLAGUE POWERS???

once again this happened in tartarus, which in percy’s case or some other cases, you could argue makes them even more powerful - but i do genuinely think it’s the opposite way around here. he managed to give nyx a hay fever, and i truly believe he could channel a worse plague/more deadly disease if he had the heart to/wasn’t in the underworld

and we know just how dangerous any kind of plague power could be - choose the right disease and infect the right person, and that would’ve wiped out kronos’ entire demigod army - even if they wouldn’t be killed, a common cold is enough of a hindrance to keep any enemies at a weaker state and allow will to shoot some light rays or whistle or even just attempt to shoot his arrow

i think my main point here is just to get the facts about will straight: he’s not a healer because of his skills, he’s a healer because that’s just who he is. as a person, he chooses to be a healer and help people rather than harm. he doesn’t have the same abilities in archery as his siblings, no, but he’s still incredibly powerful - and yet he seems to downplay all of his abilities, and only bring them out when absolutely necessary. if he truly wanted to be a frontline fighter, would he not have attempted to project his light as a light beam earlier? would he not have tried to reach further into his light manipulation powers to be able to blind opponents and strike them with it? would he not have practiced his whistle more, making it strong enough to fully damage opponents’ hearing, or even make them pass out?

all of his powers have incredible potential. that’s proven when he goes down to tartarus, and, for the first time, is forced to use those powers to survive. he was given the excuse in chb to stay behind and be the medic because that’s all everyone knew him to be - but with nico, in the underworld, he had to be a fighter. and because of that, we finally saw the full potential of the light rays - which would only be made more powerful above ground, when he’s not completely weakened by the lack of sunlight. we saw the plague powers, which could be trained into something deadly. we even saw light channeling, combining will’s powers with nico’s to make his sword stronger, which - true, is not necessarily will on his own, but would be so much more useful in battle than just one other archer.

will solace is a powerful demigod, and i think that that scares him. he has plague abilities as well as healing, and he can emit light like a god would. maybe the reason he has these powers is because it is in his nature to use them for good, to stray away from the dangers of practicing his powers more and making them stronger - he’s a healer because he chose to, not because he won’t be able to help on a battlefield. 

@actual-gremlin @bleep-bloop-boo @aina-otsuki

will solace is one of the most powerful demigods in the riordanverse in this essay i will

[wortsandall]

Jake Lockley-the lies we tell ourselves au

buckle in, this one's long next

my biggest inspiration for this whole au was this man right here. mostly from reading fanfiction and thinking-who is this man to me? and noticing the pattern that jake had become kind of one note.

the fanon jake lockley had become a kind of stereotype-the rough macho man, slinging Spanish and banging ladies-and rarely did I see anything go past those interpretations. now there's nothing really wrong with that and I don't mean to shit on anyone's perception or enjoyment of the character.

in the show, the only things we know are that

he fronts in violent moments to get marc and jake out of a bind

he speaks spanish

he has to be the one who asked the woman out at the museum

and thats exactly why we get the jake that we often see.

personally, I just wanted to explore beyond that. maybe as a black person as well i found that one note portrayal to almost be in poor taste and starts to infringe on some Latino stereotypes even if it's not purposeful. (again you do you. and I don't mean to speak over any Latino voices who may feel differently)

but jake to me can go so much deeper than that. the framing of him as the "violent" alter is so harmful when it comes to D.I.D. we all remember split. those that are uninformed about disorders like D.I.D usually don't see the harm that can come in that kind of portrayal or can be dismissive. I don't have D.I.D myself, but I do have an unfinished psych degree focusing on abnormal psych and dissociative disorders and a LOT of free time.

my main point being that I didn't want jake to just be the violent alter. it was so obvious to me that jake engages in violence as a form of protection. and that alone brings so much more depth to his character. jake only fronts in the show to get them out of a dangerous situation. and when he doesn't have to kill-he doesn't. like with the kid.

so jake immediately screamed protector to me. and the violence that comes as his form as protection is the most effective that we've seen. it's not about making sure that marc feels okay with what's been done or happy. it's about keeping them physically safe.

tw for discussions of abuse, bullying

the show shows us that marc, and in extension all the boys were abused by their mother. it may be jumping to conclusions but my next thought would be that's where jake gets the violence from. and I don't mean that he enjoys it or wishes to hurt people like he was hurt as some sort of outlet. but that now they get some kind of control over when and how they are hurt.

to make some more leaps, I thought that it's not far-fetched to believe that there could be bullying in their childhood due to potentially being seen talking to themselves. or if I wanted to make it sadder, for being both Jewish and Latino. I've seen my fair share of mixed people being forced to "pick" one or being ostracized for not fitting in the way they are supposed to.

hell, I'm fully black and have had to deal with not fitting the standard due to the way I speak, or dress, or what music I listen to, etc. if something like that was going on, I can imagine dots being connected. that in order to be left alone-violence can actually be the answer.

my mom beats me -> I tend to stay clear of her as much as I can -> these kids are bothering me -> I can make them steer clear of me

and if I'm hurt -> then its my choice -> a side effect of being in a fight -> not something done on purpose to me

I imagine that's jakes origins. he's not great for anything else in his eyes, that's all he's used to. marc wouldn't register these fights as anything abnormal. marc sees himself as broken and angry, and even as a child I think that's what he would boil these fights down to. he wouldn't remember the specifics of it-just the aftermath. feeling so angry then nothing but seeing the bully on the ground holding his nose. and just fill in the blanks for himself.

as a physical protector, jake's concern is physical safety. as they get older and they end up in psych wards or other mental facilities after their dad's growing concern about the out of character behavior. (steven, not knowing how to be covert) jake would be more aware. they are in this strange place, away from what's familiar and being treated like an invalid.

I think jake would front much more often, even if he's just watching from a corner of marc's mind. he'd be used to that kind of hyper vigilance. I don't want to demonize mental health facilities, though I know that a lot of them can be very harmful. but I don't think marc would be the one causing "trouble" in there, nor is steven.

this is where the other alters that I want to add for this au to come in. where marc remembers these wards as no big deal and steven has zero memory. but jake remembers more of the unpleasant aftermath caused by outbursts of a different alter leo. I'll get into him and what I imagine his character to be in a different post but just know that this is leo's origin: the wards they were in and out of as a teenager.

I think that once they left, they weren't fully an adult. maybe 17, about to turn 18 but marc hits the bricks. tired of his mother's abuse and his father's enabling of it. I imagine that in those couple months before 18, marc would rather be anywhere else. and jake would be the one helping with that, guiding marc without him realizing. turning them away from potential areas of danger, fully fronting in order to fight off a robber. I don't think this would be a long period-maybe a month or two. and that's why marc thought they could just leave until the military. (jake, tired of being the one to watch marc's stupid ass would wish that marc had just toughed it out at home until their 18th birthday. their mother was a known danger, the streets are not)

joining the military and everything after is mostly marc. jake only fronting similarly to the show, in life and death situations. steven and the other two alters wouldn't be fronting at all. and in these long year periods is where I think jake's role would change slightly. as marc learns how to better protect himself on his own, jake would become more of a gatekeeper. maybe not a great one, still concerned more about their physical safety than anything else.

"survive. don't die." that's jake's priority. so in these combat scenarios it is impertinent that alters who can't fight, won't. in this sole endeavor, he becomes a gatekeeper. anything that might trigger steven and the others gets heavily locked down. he has a tight hold on the front, making sure only he or marc could possibly do it. I can't imagine he'd be able to keep that tight hold at all times. maybe there's small moments where their guard is down and any of the others could front for a moment. but for the most part, he's successful.

and when he gets tired of this, maybe the others are starting to front more or marc's fatigue starts to impact him, he makes the decision that in order to stay alive, they have to go. and that he's the one who tried to leave in a fugue state.

we all know what happens next and fast-forwarding through that, jake has less of a need to front. marc has the suit now. but jake is still a gatekeeper. marc's belief that steven and everything that came with that was over is partly due to jake keeping them all neatly held back and marc unaware.

due this backstory of jake's I don't imagine him getting out much. he hasn't had time for much else and doesn't know who he is outside of protecting them. after their mother's Shiva, I think jake would be the reason why marc and steven's life start to recombine. that he'd notice how shaken marc is after her death and know that it's not a problem that he can fight. so steven starts to front more, taking the brunt of these emotional moments. jake takes an even further step back, thinking steven has his role. as a caretaker and emotional protector this would be good for marc.

in this relative calm, where marc is trying (and failing) to balance his life and steven's, jake has a lot of time on his hands. maybe he watches how marc crafts a fake life for steven and thinks that it'd be nice to have one of his own-but not know how to go about it. he's never really been a person. in his eyes. he doesn't know how to be. so maybe he takes a small step on asking out the woman at the museum (I can't remember her name or if it's ever been mentioned, sorry)

thats the last part of fanon jake that I would like to dissect. I know in the comics I've read (and its only the 2016 and 2021 ones I apologize for that) there are references to this "woman-loving" personality. there are scenes where marc, steven, and jake are all talking and jake is in a club environment with dancers. and for me, it's never read as him being some kind of playboy hounding or thirsting after woman. in most of these scenes, jake is namely talking about finding community and people to care for in the rougher crowds. the crowds that might frequent these types of areas and crowds.

that's what I'd like to focus in on. jake may be a part of a system but it is a fairly isolated one. and part of that is due to his choices, but that doesn't mean he can't yearn for community. jake would be around during the time that marc was with layla. I imagine he'd probably have fronted a number of times as well. jake wouldn't know to navigate more emotional and intimate moments making him uncomfortable around her. he's covert enough to pretend to be marc in day to day scenarios, but not this. at the same time he'd see the way they interact and clearly love each other and become envious. so when he gets a chance, he tries it out for himself. though he never gets to go on that date.

all this to say jake lockley is aroace. he wants connection, community, family. due to circumstances both in and out of his control he'd never experienced that. and the couple times he has, it's been in a romantic sense. so he tries to copy that, thinking maybe that will be the key. but it isn't. he doesn't need that. he just needs some form of intimate connection to help him learn and remember how to be human. not just as a weapon, not just as a human shield. but as a person with his own wants and needs and personality outside of what the system wants.

that's my jake lockley.

the lies we tell ourselves au masterpost

[nerves-nebula]

In your neglected au, what is Leo and Splinter’s relationship like?

Been having trouble articulating what the dynamic is like (since its still pretty new) so I made a handy “Pros and Cons of Being Splinters’ Favorite” list :) maybe this’ll answer some of your questions

Pros:

Affection from dad 

Compliments from dad

Lighter punishments when doing things wrong (none of the other turtles would only get screamed at for breaking Raphs arm, they’d prolly have stuff confiscated or be forced to do some kind of manual labor as a punishment) 

Insane superiority complex (I AM A GOD NO ONE IS AS GOOD AS ME)

Gets told stories/myths/family history the others are left out of (Leo was aware of Shredder & the foot clan a long time before the others were told about it)

Cons:

Being responsible for everyone else (if the group fails a mission, then LEO failed to lead them, and he won't be punished as hard but Splinter will either imply its his fault or make the others hate him more by saying they slowed Leo down or something)

Being ostracized from siblings who are mad they aren't treated as well

Splinter doesn’t actually understand Leo all that much. Rather, he projects onto Leo in a way where he implies he knows Leo better than Leo knows himself. This is kind of ROUGH and really fucks with Leo’s sense of self.

Seeing how the others are treated makes Leo constantly aware that his position is not inherent to being splinters child/son, and if he fucks up hard enough he might be replaced (terrified of failure/being treated like the others) 

Self esteem issues/need for approval

Insane superiority complex (IF ANYONE EVER SHOWS ME UP OR EMBARRASSES ME I’LL KILL EVERYONE IN THIS ROOM AND THEN MYSELF)

General other notes: Splinter sees a lot of himself in Leo when Leo starts excelling in their training early on. As they get older Splinter sees Leo more and more as an extension of himself in a really toxic no-boundaries kind of way. Obviously he doesn’t have any concept of boundaries regardless, but it’s especially bad with Leo since he actually tries to spend time with Leo.

SPEAKING of spending time with ppl: Splinter will occasionally have one on one training with Leo, which isn’t always even training, sometimes it’s just Splinter venting to his literal child. Splinter will sometimes do this with the other turtles too, but not nearly as much as he does it with Leo. Usually if he vents at his other kids it's just because they were around him at the wrong time or something. It’s even RARER for him to ask one of them to come speak to him, and half the time when he does that it’s because he’s trying to fix something about them he's noticed he doesnt like.

When leo does something wrong Splinter tells the others “You’re all brothers you need to stick together and love each other” and when anyone else fucks up he basically tells them “You are such a disappointment/I expected as much.” or some other negative thing. 

Splinter was not at all prepared to be a father and took the turtles from Draxum as more of a “fuck you for mutating me” than a desire to protect the innocent. He wasn’t sure how intelligent they were at first and kinda treated them like pets until it became clear that they were like. Actually Children. And by that point he’d become attached to them so he kept them. 

Leo hangs on Splinters every word in a way that the others haven’t since they were like, ten years old. He doesn’t believe the others when they say he’s being manipulated or when they complain about Splinter. Because to Leo, he’s winning because he’s trying harder than them.

To him, the others are just quitters and could probably earn dads favor if they stopped being such baBIES about everything. He takes to heart every cruel thing Splinter says about them and kind of believes that Splinter would change his mind if the others “got better” or something. Leo hasn’t yet realized that Splinter is just making up reasons to dislike the others after deciding they aren’t as good. Splinter probably hasn’t realized that either cause he thinks he’s a good person tho.

[ichayalovesyou]

I’m Gonna Go Off About How Good Avatar: Way of The Water Was

Because apparently nobody else wants to and that is patently LAME.

SPOILERS AHEAD

I want to be so REAL with y’all, that movie BROKE me. Not just in a mindless entertainment way like soooooo many people believe the Avatar franchise is. It had some serious food for thought in it, hamfisted environmentalist allegories be damned because you know what maybe we SHOULD have more hamfisted environmentalist movies if the message ain’t getting through otherwise.

I think it’s so weird that some people seem to believe Way of The Water is just the first one over again but in the ocean. When really it’s just that Quadritch is alive for sci-fi reasons and it’s humans being terrible to an environment that doesn’t belong to them. So you know, normal stuff like ✨characters and themes✨

So many new elements got introduced to the story. The consequences of Jake’s actions from the first film having more ripples and settling with that guilt and the Na’vi themselves having diverse reactions to Jake and his family in a way that makes a lot of sense.

The Tulkan, yet another highly intelligent species on Pandora beyond the humanoid Na’vi and the complex consciousness of Eywa. The fact that the na’vi can communicate with them through sign language and that even tho they’re extremely intelligent humans with slaughter them for a tiny highly valuable fraction of their body? Hmmm 🤔 sounds familiar.

Neytiri’s hatred of humans in general strokes clashing with her love of Jake and her resentment for Quadritch’s son Spider.

OH MAN AND THE KIDS ARE SO INTERESTING TOO

Spider being the son of toxic military macho man and yet feeling as tho he belongs to the na’vi, human physically but not in his soul. Being forced to translate for his dad to try and protect as many na’vi as he can as him and his military avatar goons try and smoke Jake out. Knowing Neytiri will never accept him. That’s a FASCINATING character right there.

Lo’ak bonding with an ostracized Tulkan, having a complicated relationship with his dad (Jake) because they’re pretty much TOO much alike. The fact that he doesn’t let his dad let himself drown near the end by showing every ounce of wisdom he’s learned from the Metkayina. “I see you” INDEED. That shit b r o k e me!

And KIRI oh my gawd gurl what is UP with you??? I think the more we learn about this girl the more we’re going to learn about Eywa. My theory is because Grace was the first and probably only human to not only figure out at least a fraction of what Eywa essentially is on a scientific level but also died on the world and might’ve basically become part of Eywa and maybe even given her/it the means to interface with the na’vi (like KIRI especially) on a verbal/more direct level. Which potentially could make Kiri the bridge between Humans, Na’vi and Eywa. THAT IS SO COOL.

That’s not even getting into how cool all the new Metkayina characters are (with some serious potential) Ronal, Tonowari, Aonung and Tsireya. Ronal is just pure badassery (going to war while pregnant?! Holy shit girl!). I sense an intriguing friendship forming between Tonowari and Jake “Your son is buried with our ancestors, you are Metkayina now”. The beginnings of a possible friendship between Lo’ak and Aonung and the almost definite romantic arc they’re prob gonna do with Lo’ak & Tsireya.

All the relationships and interpersonal character drama in this franchise is intriguing to me. Even if the theme part is a little redundant, you can’t deny the new characters are gonna make things REALLY interesting provided the writing stays as good as it’s been.

Also I eat Pandora Na’vi clan lore for breakfast, I hope we get introduced to even more clans than the Omaticaya and Metkayina in the future.

Was it maybe a little longer than necessary? Maybe. Was quaritch’s resurrection a little slapdash? Yeah a little but not enough to make his evolution as a character boring imo.

Anyway I’m sick of people who act like stuff is bad just cuz it’s popular and doesn’t have a steady fandom. Do you know what did well critically that had environmental themes and barely had a fandom too? Dark Crystal: Age of Resistance I don’t think it’s any less cool or promising for it. Yes I’m a little bitter that people aren’t talking about this movie why??

P.S. If you like this franchise check out Tsu’tey’s Path from Dark Horse comics. Gives a bunch of deleted scenes lore more context and fleshes out one of the most interesting na’vi characters from the first film.

[olive-otterton]

Hey! Saw your post about the fanfic you're working on, you mentioned that your oc is a billford oc? What do you mean by that exactly? I'm so intrigued! Always love hearing people gush about their ocs and projects, tell me more!! :)

OMG YES- I didn't think I'd get a reply lolll

Ok- so I mean that in the sense of my oc is their kid. Sonar (the oc) was made by Bill by mixing their DNA (he stole Ford's lol) and incubating that (picture several timez's test tube situation)

Bill kind of realized Ford was starting to catch on and decided to make a vessel for himself in case he needed something to posses on Earth to get to the portal on his own. Add in the biological aspect of (theoretically) retaining his powers and he was very interested in creating Sonar.

He didn't realize/didn't care that creating an affront to nature would cause the creation a great deal of pain, and Sonar's left eye is legally considered blind as well as when he over-uses his powers he overheats like a shitty laptop and will get very very sick. He has limited powers that include telepathy, dream invasion, and minor clairvoyance. Basically, he can see into the future if he REAAALLY tries but will be benched for like a week if he uses it at ALL. Telepathy is easy for him and dream invasion is second nature. Sometimes it'll happen on accident if he has high emotion, but he can't dream himself. If he chooses to dream while asleep, it's just him talking to himself lol- he's constantly lucid dreaming, and wakes up a little more tired than he would've normally.

I've been playing with the idea of, since he should never ever existed, his powers are unstable. Not powerful, but unstable. When he overuses them to the point of minor-moderate physical harm, it will threaten to create rifts. These are very small and need extra force to expand large enough to allow anything humanoid through.

Another silly idea is him having a third eye when he is clairvoyancing lol. Like Bill's copy pasted onto his forehead- mostly bc it looks cool but it could have story impacts depending on where I decide to go with his powers. If his powers are his own, then I won't do much with it. But if it's an extension of Bill's powers, than maybe I could do something with it- idk lol

(Can you tell I didn't know how to pose Ford for this? ^)

OKAY ONTO HIM AS A PERSON- Sonar grew up in the Nightmare Realm and was born empathetic which caused him to be ostracized by his peers (I added a whole bunch of lore to the NR but we're not here for that) and would stay inside working his way through all the human media Bill had around. He got REAL obsessed with trying to make art, and is sometimes in a band(folk rock/hyper punk) depending on what I want to do with him, but he was always upset his art never felt 'human'. He's a bundle of social anxiety with legs and is generally regarded as strange (which doesn't help him feeling alien). He's very eager to please and tries to stay positive, ending up being the protective one of the Pines family when it comes to the mystery twins (since as a kid he had no one to protect him, so he ends up babying the kids of the shack so he can keep them from ending up like him).

In THIS specific fanfic, he ends up being Stan's right hand man and also pretend son. Stan fabricates a birth certificate and other stuff for him so he doesn't have to worry about the government being like "wait a minute", helping Stan out with the portal but not really being super helpful since (while he has very crazy knowledge about inter-dimensional societies) he has no real knowledge about building a dam portal and is more like a Stan2(who reaches under the couch bc bro's back is too bad lol) when it comes to the portal.

*HEAVILY BREATHING* Okay- *HUFF* I think that's all of it-

Come back anytime you need inane ramblings about any given topic or shitty poetry <3 And thank you for reading my yappening lol, I genuinely got SO excited when I saw someone ask me about my boy and was smiling ear to ear

[ghostly-wisteria-tea]

The Melancholy of a Moon God lost in another world - 1

Fandom: Moon Knight - MCU Rating: Mature, everyone will be VERY out-of-character, I'm still a newbie. Summary: MCU Khonshu got isekei-ed to another universe similar to his own. That's mainly it. Watch as he tries to navigate this familiar yet foreign world, meet strangers wearing a friend's face, and get very confused to why people are saying he is in Asgard jail when he is not even Norse, nor an Alien. AO3 Link: Here!!

Crack fic, but it pretty much became my weird side project for some reason and a way to practice my writing and English skills. English isn't my native language so please be kind. Now then, time to bring in Truck-kun!!

Prologue

It hurts...

It hurts everywhere.

He wonders if this is divine punishment for all the things he has done. Ironic since he is also a Divine being, but he is not ignorant to know that there are others. He grew up under the rule of his Godly parents. His entire pantheon focuses on diverse plurality, not a single force. He knows he is not all powerful.

He welcomes this pain though. He knew this was coming, but he didn't care. He was told many times that everything will come and bite him in the butt. And he has always known it. Afterall, you don't get to be the Lord of Justice without knowing what NOT to do, and how not following the moral codes of Ma'at will get you punished.

In the past his duty was to uphold the laws of morality and lead by example, but things have changed. No matter how many times he gave peace, he only got hate and curses in return. The world descended to chaos, wars, conflict, everyone backstabbing each other to gain victory. And those innocent lives caught up in the middle are killed. Souls that have nothing to do with the chaos. It got to a point that upholding the rules of morality is not enough anymore. Being "Good" is not enough to save the innocent. He had to do the opposite, stop trying to keep his hands clean and get it dirty with sin, so others don't have to. He is doing this because he has to fully know the consequences. His family hated it, his followers (former followers) hated it, his Avatar despised it but still stayed with him because they gained something from it. It was never out of love, but personal gain for them.

He knows he is forever ostracized by those he has loved and those that loved him in return.

Vengeance is not even his main association. He was not allowed to raise his hand in vengeance until he had to forcibly take the title from Petbe. If Horus can be called "The Avenger", then why can't he?

It's a very dirty job. you'll be hated, despised by the world. Vengeance is both a boon and bane, an unstoppable force at best, a toxic acid that corrodes yourself and those around you at worst. Walk the path of Vengeance with caution foolish child. May Ma'at forgive you to what you will become.

Those were the last words from his former mentor Petbe, The Egyptian God of Vengeance. The god sounded relieved? Sad? Khonshu's not sure. Maybe Petbe is relieved that he no longer has to bear the burden of vengeance alone, or sad that said burden is now being passed to a literal child.

How ironic, the Child God of youthful Innocence took up the duty of vengeance. Forever staining his innocence with blood.

As if he has any innocence anymore. He barely knows if he can still be considered the God of Youth anymore when nothing about him is youthful. He barely recognizes himself, yet he fully accepted his fate and never regretted it. Crossing the line and never turning back with no regrets or hesitations.

Maybe that's why he took the fall. When he said that his Avatar is worth protecting, he meant every word. He knows he found an opportunity for an effective and efficient weapon, but that’s just a bonus. What Khonshu is looking for, is Hope. Marc is a highly experienced soldier who knows the hierarchy of his superiors, he knows how to handle a gun and shoot with ease. But he also found a lost soul, someone broken and hurt by the world but still remained moral and true, who refused to be truly corrupted by the pain.

Khonshu found himself being sympathetic at the broken yet moral man, and deep frustrations that a child lost his innocence under the hands of their own mother.

Khonshu gave up his own innocence out of his own freewill. But Marc's innocence was stolen by his own mother. Khonshu never felt more angry at a human being than ever. He knows what a mother should do but he also understood Wendy’s fall from grace. She became a lost soul the moment Randall died, trapped in a spiral of grief that warped her to a monster. 

Funny that the worst monsters towards humans are themselves.

In the end, Khonshu took a fatal blow and was left with a choice, to save his Avatar or save the world. He refuses to give up his Avatar, nor stop his mission to protect humanity. So, he did what he has always done, He bent the rules.

Marc Spector is human; humanity is the world to Khonshu. So he picked the world of humanity, which includes Marc in it.

All he heard last was Marc's desperate screams at him, calling him an idiot for doing this and to just kill im. The man forgot one thing unfortunately, Khonshu never listens to anyone, not the Gods and not to a mortal man who deserves a second chance. And Khonshu is going to give him that.

" You always wanted me gone anyway."

"Not like this you moron!"

" Too bad, do me a favor and please take better care of yourself. Jake, I know your listening, make sure this idiot doesn't drink himself to death. Steven...pick a more updated manuscript next time, your latest find is laughably wrong."

He can still hear Marc pleading for him to stop, even Steven and Jake started begging him to stop. But he can't hear anything anymore now that his body is deteriorating. His banished state made him much, much weaker than a normal and pushing himself more will result in his obliteration, as his body can no longer withstand the weight of the cosmos. He doesn't even have his Moon crown anymore, just a staff and, in Thoth's words, "The most stubborn and stupid attitude in Egyptian history".

He wonders if this is what death feels like. Despite what mortals believe, Gods are not timeless. With a few exceptions since Osiris was able to resurrect himself, but that is simply transformation. From a god of life to a god of death. 

But this is not death, this is worse than death. Something the Gods feared. The issue with Osiris is that he was never truly gone. This is Oblivion, having his own existence removed from reality and this world, and the records of this universe. 

This is Damnatio Memoriae.

Khonshu will be removed from the world, no one will remember him, no one will mourn him. His godly parents, his family. Mortals and Immortals. All of them will forget he even exists. His images in Karnak will be wiped clean, nothing more than a morning haze while they go on without him. He wonders who will replace him in history now, who will be the son of Mut. Even in his last moments, he still worries about his mother.

Maybe this is a fitting end for him. Perishing by his own choice so he can't blame anyone but himself. He never regretted his actions even before. If he is going down, then he is going down on his own terms.

Well, there is one. His only regret was that he was never honest towards his Avatar, to express how he truly feels. 

Doesn't matter now, Marc and Steven made it obvious that they never liked Khonshu. This shouldn't bother him. Khonshu spends thousands of years being hated for simply being an Egyptian Deity. People who never bothered to read about his family, or his history, to actually know HIM . Just simply made assumptions as the ultimate "Other" in a story written by outsiders. He should be used to it by now.

It still doesn't matter anyway, he missed his chance. He has been missing that chance every second for the past for 10 years. But for the first time in a very, very long time. He felt something. 

Yes, for the first time since his banishment. Khonshu, the God of the Moon made a wish. To any one of his family still listening. He knows they are still listening, just not bothering to even lift a single pinky while he is literally being disintegrated out of existence to stop a manifestation of Evil Chaos from destroying the world.

It is part of the rules to give respect to other gods, Khonshu just stopped bothering about that when his respect for them diminished. If he still has his hands, he would be lifting both his middle-fingers at them. Actions he learns in his many, many travels and he finds them to be the perfect way to express how he feels. His name literally means "To Wander", so of course he is going to pick up stuff from wandering around the world, including as many profanities as possible that existed. He could already say "fuck you" in 50,000 different languages including programing if it's possible.

Will his father mourn for him? The siblings he used to enjoy hunting trips with? His former beloved Hathor? Thoth, his mentor and closest family member since they both share a father and powerset? Will his mother cry? His mother probably did mourn for her son, the son she lost to time centuries ago. Not this banished monster who is dying right now. 

He can feel his consciousness disappear. The pain is also subsiding, but it's also getting harder to think straight. Like a reverse birth, instead of growing more conscious and aware, you grow more and more dumb. Thoughts become harder to maintain, memories disappear, the pain is gone but so is everything else.

Until all that's left is just, nothing.

[rays-of-fire-and-ice]

You're finally here...and oh boy! Your thoughts sent me into an emotional spiel I couldn't not write ;_;

I've been looking forward to seeing your thoughts on this, and goodness I couldn't agree more.

Yes, I am someone who goes on and on about the powers Hyourinmaru's Completed Form gives him, and how this form came to be because of his dedication to wanting to protect Momo and I desperately want to see her reaction to it for that fact alone. Yes, I am someone who thinks part of this form's powers were based on his will to stop threats like Aizen in their tracks, hence potentially making it a self-transformation not the actual perfected bankai for Hyrouinmaru. And yes, I am hyped at the idea that this entire chapter will get adapted into the anime and show how freaking incredible this form's powers are.

But my God, you basically said why I also get a little heart broken by this form too. Toshiro has been forced to grow up, both literally (as seen here) and metaphorically. He's someone who had been forced into this world of war and violence, which has seen him grow up into the teen he is but also experience so many hardships that someone his age shouldn't have.

How did this all start? It's a combination of being forced into it, but also, he doesn't appear to be this way because the story never directly points it out, but Toshiro is a selfless character and I think it plays a small role in how he ended up here. This trait is shown in various ways across the series, but here, I'll focus on how it's shown in his powers/training.

This is a boy who HAD to leave his old life behind because a part of him was too powerful. It was a part of him, a part of his soul, a part of him he couldn't have controlled when he was born into or brought to the Soul Society, that was killing his Granny, one of the few people he cared about, in her sleep and potentially in her everyday life if we're to believe her declining health (he notes she is getting thinner) without realising. He had no plans to go to the Academy, even if his Granny saw he wanted more from life. As far as he was concerned, he was going to live the rest of his life out with his Granny, taking care of her, getting visits from Momo, and being ostracized by the residents of the Junrinan. He was setting himself to be settled with this, but then that gets completely thrown out the window and he has to leave the one person who not only loved him, but raised him and accepted him. He cared for her to the point he had to leave her, to save her life, discover who he is (this voice he hears in his reoccurring dreams), and get this power inside him under control.

He became a captain because there was no one else at the time to take Isshin's place (hell, Isshin had already decided and proclaimed Toshiro would be successor), but he could've rejected this promotion and I'm certain Central 46 would have to look for other candidates. He stepped up, because he likely felt he had to, but maybe because he also didn't want to see anyone else take on such a tough gig (it's something I can see him do, but maybe it's just headcanon...).

He then, after Aizen made him do one of the most horrific things he could've ever done to Momo, another of those few people he cares about, he dedicates himself to training in the caves to gain better control of his bankai. He wanted to protect her with his powers, the same ones that he fear will hurt her (read the lyrics for 'This Light I See", his song which even though not canon captures the essence of his character), forced away from his Granny, and that [on some level] isolated him as a child and made him a prodigy amongst his peers at the Academy -- which is in itself a form of isolation from the average Shinigami, I think. The guilt he felt was immense, but so was the loyalty and care he has for her and those he cares about. Him wanting to train was forced upon him, it was his choice, based on guilt towards his actions and his care for Momo.

He obtained these new powers, which force him to literally grow up, for the sake of protecting them and the Soul Society. He couldn't have them any other way. It's almost like he wasn't meant to have these powers yet, that he was supposed to wait until he was older. But for so much of his life, he's either been forced into something or felt he had to step up or has selfless put himself on the line for someone or something, and maybe that's why he got them.

Toshiro hates being viewed as a child or being disrespected because of his appearance, and it might not because he has pride in his title. He takes his duties seriously of course, but maybe it's because he had to grow up too quick. He's been through so much, has been forced into so much, had taken on so much, and some people will never see that, and to have someone disrespect him by not referring to him by his title or treat him like a child, it goes against that.

It's tragic, it's sad, it's even borderline heartbreaking, and it's amazing; because despite the fact he doesn't like this form and the physical toll it takes on him, he will absolutely don it if it means protecting Momo, his other loved ones, or the Soul Society. He never asked for Hyourinmaru's power, a power he fears and has cost him the life he wanted to live as a child, but he's ended up with one of the best zanpakuto-wielder relationships in the series, and he uses his powers to help and protect everyone and everything he cares about, no matter what form it has taken over the years.

Awww, this actually makes me feel for the guy a little.

He's got every right to be uncomfortable, because he really shouldn't be in this position. This form makes literal what has been a struggle for Toshiro during the entire story-- he really has been asked to grow up too soon. I'm not saying that the spirit academy should have turned him away, but they probably should have had a special educational unit or program for guys like him and Gin, instead of throwing them into the army immediately.

Instead, he got put in a (relatively highly ranked!) officer position, and had to take over when his CO ran away, which also moved the one remaining caregiver in his life into a weird position where he was also her CO. Then Aizen made his a target of his criminal conspiracy, which saw him and all his loved ones manipulated and grievously wounded. And then during the war, it all happened again. And now he's here, battling this mythical giant, and trying to teach basic common sense and responsibility to a man roughly 1000 years older than him.

He'll do it, because he has to, because there really isn't anybody else who can. But I do think that deep down, he wishes it didn't have to be this way.

[that-thing-that-feeling]

Sometimes I wonder if the rabid Eddie fans who get mad about Jonathan being stoned onscreen twice but handwave Eddie selling hard drugs think "Special K" is just like weed-infused cereal or something. (Idgaf if characters do/sell drugs, but the hypocrisy is odd.)

Wait—Eddie fans are dragging Jonathan for being stoned in two scenes??? Oof yeah the hypocrisy. It also totally misses Jonathan’s character—not caring that he was self medicating due to his own issues, and even later apologized about it to Will, when Jonathan has always been going thru so much.

A hot take: People say Eddie is the ultimate outcast (even going so far to say he’s the biggest outcast on the show lol), but for as much as he talks about “forced conformity,” he also enforces conformity within his own group. He’s King of a subset of Nerds in that school—he has power in his group of outcasts and uses it. If Lucas can’t play in the DnD campaign (Lucas is completely in the right and is owed an apology), Eddie can dominate and intimidate Mike and Dustin into finding another player. They’re literally afraid to tell him bc as King of the “freaks,” they know they’ll get in trouble. One of the reasons the ‘King of x subculture’ thing gets kind of sus is the Kings often replicate the exact kind of behavior they supposedly hate and criticize, but love to use in their own little group. I wonder if it’s one of the reasons Steddie is so popular—the fandom gets drawn to guys on the show with “alpha” traits, even if here with Eddie they’re pretty complicated. Maybe people are drawn to Eddie bc he’s proud of his freak status, gets on the cafeteria table and flaunts it in the school’s face, not taking their bs. However, in a less interesting way, he also doesn’t take any bs from the group he is a leader of—they will all do anything he says. Of course, what happens to him then is much more complex and sad—he’s ostracized by the whole town, his freak status is weaponized agst him by Jason and the police, he is ashamed at himself for running away and hiding, and he ultimately dies trying to protect others and the show doesn’t do a great job acknowledging it.

Meanwhile, we have Jonathan as the most hated in the fandom—an outcast outcasted by the fandom—in part bc he’s very different than any of the other male teens on the show. He’s never been King of anything, nor acts like it or wants it. He’s introverted and keeps to himself (until he got his first friend this year). He doesn’t bully or have power in a certain way he exerts over any group in school, he generally doesn’t fight, and rejects the toxic masculinity his father taught him (“real men” kill things). However, he fought through years of abuse, and turned it into immense sensitivity and love for his family—from helping to raise his brother and assuming a parental role, to worrying about his Mom’s anxiety, to working jobs to help pay the bills, to growing up in a town where his family is ostracized. He has a lot of inner fight and strength and trust issues and flaws—but the fandom ostracizes him either bc they don’t find him “attractive” enough or they think of him as useless and boring bc so many of his traits are interior and subtle, which is very different than the guys the fandom has been drawn to. Anyway, interesting.

[makeste]

some follow-up thoughts on BnHA 306

mostly Deku angst, but also a little Baku angst (and some TodoBaku angst) mixed in for good measure. because there’s plenty of angst to go around.

1. “if I’d only been stronger...”

I’ll talk more about Deku later in this post as well, because there’s definitely plenty to talk about; this is the most character development he’s gotten in almost 200 chapters. but for starters, I want to discuss the possible parallels between Deku’s current character arc, and what is arguably the most iconic moment of angst/character development in the series.

remember how this kid, who up until this point had rarely seemed to give two fucks about the world around him, suddenly revealed that he blamed himself for being the downfall of All Might? remember how it came almost out of nowhere? how he’d been hiding it, and trying to suppress it? “but even if I try to forget... sometimes it all just comes rushing back.”

yeah. so anyway, I got to thinking -- if being the cause of one hero’s downfall could affect someone this badly, what about being responsible for the downfall of all heroes?

what if a boy who wanted nothing more than to keep people safe suddenly found himself at the epicenter of a disaster that killed hundreds, possibly even thousands of people?

now obviously, this is not the sole thing that’s troubling Deku right now; this kid has a whole array of traumas as of the War arc. like, you know it’s bad when Society As We Know It Coming To An End Partially Because Of You is the least of your problems. but still, I think this is worth bringing up, because the hero kids blaming themselves for things that aren’t their fault is hardly anything new. and yet, what with everything else that’s been going on -- all of the Todoroki drama, and Vestige revelations, and hospital antics, and political strife -- I feel like it’s easy to forget or overlook this little detail.

the fact is that AFO put this entire plan into motion solely in the hopes of finally obtaining OFA. every single thing that happened at Jakku -- Tomura powering up; Machia waking up and going on his rampage (after being ordered to do so by Tomura); and even Dabi/Touya choosing this moment to finally strike (because he knew this was when the reveal would do the maximum damage -- when people’s faith in heroes was already wavering) -- every last bit of it can ultimately be traced back to AFO’s desire to steal OFA. which, obviously, makes it AFO’s fault, not Deku’s. but then, Kamino wasn’t actually Katsuki’s fault either. it wasn’t his fault the villains went after him (but he blamed himself anyway), and it wasn’t his fault that people got hurt in the ensuing battle to save him (but he blamed himself anyway).

just. I think we’re underestimating just how strong of an impact all of this likely had on Deku. we haven’t really had the chance to see him process it yet. he’s been too busy, and there have been too many other things going on. but I’m telling you guys, that empty look in his eyes in the final page of the chapter? I can all but guarantee you that at least some of that emotional weight is coming from this.

sure would be nice if he had a friend who knew exactly what that was like, and could help him process the guilt and all of the other associated emotions, just like Deku once helped him. unfortunately I’m not so sure things will be that easy this time around. anyways though let’s move on to a couple of other thoughts and speculations.

2. “...and I bullied him.”

one of my least-favorite BnHA fanfic tropes is the one where the rest of class 1-A somehow finds out about Katsuki and Deku’s history -- i.e. that Katsuki bullied Deku throughout most of their childhood. mind you, it’s not the concept itself that I dislike; it’s mostly how it’s used. a lot of times it’s just an excuse to have all of the other kids turn on Katsuki and ostracize him; either because the author thinks that’s what he deserves, or else so that Deku can eventually come to his rescue and defend him and shame the rest of the class for not seeing how much he’s changed. either way, it’s usually pretty awkward to read, and more often than not the characters are pretty OOC (especially Ochako and Todoroki).

however! there’s a big difference between fanfic and canon, and just because I’m not a fan of this trope in the former doesn’t mean it couldn’t be executed well in the latter. and lately I’ve been thinking about this a lot. mainly for three reasons:

the recent (can we still call it recent?? well whatever) scene where Katsuki confessed to All Might that he used to bully Deku is now one of my favorite scenes in the entire series, and proof that this can be executed well.

both Todoroki and Deku have finally had their respective big secrets revealed to the rest of the class. so like, idk. feels like it just might be secret-revealing season now, you know?

and lastly, as a result of Deku’s secret about OFA finally being revealed, the rest of 1-A now either knows, or can extrapolate, that he used to be quirkless.

and from there, I feel like it’s not all that hard to put two and two together with how terrible Kacchan and Deku’s relationship was when they first started at UA. that’s not a terribly difficult puzzle to solve. so I feel like it might come out anyway, and if so, I’d prefer Bakugou telling them himself, and taking responsibility as part of his atonement process. because we know that he regrets it. we know their relationship has changed. we know that he has changed. and so I think I might like to see this.

alternately, if confessing to the entire class is too much, at the very least I could see him confessing to Shouto, because I’ve always felt like this was one of the big things that made Katsuki so resistant to letting Todoroki call him a friend. because I feel like there’s a part of Katsuki that saw the parallels between Endeavor’s abuse of Shouto and his own bullying of Deku, and thought, he wouldn’t be so quick to call me his friend if he actually knew the truth. and so there’s actually been this roadblock wedged between them this whole time that Shouto doesn’t even know about. because Shouto hates Endeavor. and so it’s not such a leap to assume he’d hate Katsuki too if he knew just how terrible he’d been to Deku when they were younger.

not that I think he actually would! actually I don’t think either of those things is actually true (because Shouto clearly doesn’t hate his father either, in spite of everything that’s happened). but the point isn’t what I think -- the point is what Katsuki thinks. and I really do think there’s a good chance he’s worried about Shouto hating him, and it’s one of the things that’s made him so reluctant to accept his friendship. anyway, so I’m really just rambling now, but you get my point. I don’t know if this is actually going to happen, but it’s a scene I would like to see if Horikoshi decides to indulge me.

3. “...so when you wake up, please give him my best.”

and now, as promised, back to Deku.

ngl guys, when I first saw this image, my immediate thought was that Gran must have died. because I mean, hello, leaving U.A.?? donning himself in his teacher’s old cape?? empty, exhausted look in his eyes?? what else were we supposed to think lol.

but maybe that was an overreaction. because when I think about it more, Gran’s death isn’t strictly necessary in order to push Deku over the edge. first of all, there’s already the whole “hero society is in ruins now because of you” thing I mentioned earlier. but also, there are just so many other things. like, let’s just list them here because omg. what a rough couple of days this kid had.

he was forced to battle TomurAFO and was terribly injured in the process (most of which was his own fault, but he wouldn’t have gone that far with OFA unless he felt like he had no choice)

and it wasn’t just him that was injured, either. in fact, even though he tried to act as bait to keep everyone else safe, he wasn’t able to stop three of the people closest to him from nearly being killed right before his eyes

and of course that last one was especially traumatic, because it was Kacchan, and because he had to watch Kacchan nearly die just to protect him. out of all the things that Deku witnessed in this arc, this might be the one that had the biggest impact on him

he was also basically helpless to do anything to protect Shouto and Endeavor when Dabi showed up. so again, we have this running theme of people he cares about being hurt and him not being able to save them

and he also got sucked into the OFA Interstellar Dream Vortex for a brief spell during the battle, during which he learned that AFO had possessed Tomura. more importantly, he learned that Tomura was Nana’s grandson, a fact which was only briefly touched on during that scene, but which I think wound up being the trigger to the whole avalanche that ended with Deku leaving UA. but more on that in a moment

anyway so just to wrap this all up, the battle eventually ended, Tomura got away despite all of their efforts, and then Deku wound up comatose in the hospital for two days. which brings us to the most recent chapters, during which

Deku learns that he will be the last wielder of OFA, whether he likes or not

Deku learns the identity of the last two mystery OFA users

and then at some point, he wakes up and presumably talks to Gran, and winds up with his cape

something happened during these last two scenes which helped to push Deku over the edge. I won’t delve into the matter of the Second or Third users for now, although most of you already know my suspicions regarding that, and I do think that would fit into the general pattern here (that is, the pattern of Deku feeling more and more strongly that he is putting the people around him in danger, and his fear of losing them becoming so overwhelming that it eventually pushes him to leave).

but that’s not what I want to talk about for now. what I want to talk about is Gran. specifically, what it is that Deku discussed with Gran. and this is where we come back to that reveal I mentioned earlier -- that Tomura is Nana’s grandchild.

basically, what I think happened is that Deku mentioned seeing Nana in the OFA Zany Psychedelic Spirit Void, which led to the topic of Tomura, and the fun fact Deku recently learned about him being related to Nana. this, in turn leads to Gran divulging his various regrets about everything that happened with him and Nana and Kotarou. his intent is to apologize to Deku for placing the burden of their failures on him. unfortunately, the part that Deku actually gets fixated on instead is this:

All for One hunted down and killed Nana’s son (and probably her husband as well), and stole her grandchild and psychologically tortured him into becoming a mass murderer, for no other reason than that Nana had once held OFA

in other words, AFO can and will hurt and kill anyone Deku is close to, anyone who has any kind of connection to him at all, without mercy, and regardless of whether it actually gives him any kind of tactical advantage or not. he’ll do it simply to hurt him. no other reason necessary.

I don’t know about you, but for me that would be a terrifying realization. and for Deku, I think it just might have been the tipping point.

so, let’s recap.

Deku learns that AFO is after him

AFO/Tomura very nearly kills several of Deku’s most important people, including Kacchan

and then he learns that this is just the tip of the iceberg, and realizes that all of their lives are still in danger and will continue to be as long as Deku is AFO’s target

and then add to all of this the misplaced guilt about society already being shambles, and the heroes already having more than enough to worry about. they’re barely holding things together as it is. and we already know how Deku feels about being a burden to them:

and so instead, he leaves. of course he does. in hindsight, I think this was inevitable.

the question is, did anyone else also put the pieces together in time to realize what Deku was planning before he actually left? specifically, did Katsuki, who understands Deku’s self-sacrificial nature better than anyone else, see the signs and put two and two together? like he did back at Jakku?

and if he did, would Deku have been willing to accept his help again?

somehow, I can’t help but think it might not be that easy this time.

anyway, so that was a lot of rambling, lol. sorry about that. I JUST HAVE A LOT OF FEELINGS about all of this angsty shit. tired nomad Deku needs hugs and comfort and someone to reassure him that he doesn’t have to face this alone, and that everything is going to be all right. HE IS JUST A LITTLE BOY. this is too much, and I cannot handle any of these feels, and oh my god, somebody please help him.

[darkficsyouneveraskedfor]

Laisse tomber les filles 11

Warnings: non-consent sex and rape; size kink; age gap; manipulation; sexual acts and dubcon, possible untagged elements..

This is a dark!fic and Lee Bodecker x (short) reader and explicit. 18+ only. Your media consumption is your own responsibility. Warnings have been given. DO NOT PROCEED if these matters upset you.

Synopsis: You find yourself ostracized on campus by your shyness, but your reticence won’t deter an unwanted suitor.

Note: Thank;s for all your patience on this series.

Thanks to everyone for reading and thanks in advance for all your feedback. :)

I really hope you enjoy. 💋

<3 As usual, I’d appreciate if you let me know what you think with a like or reblog or reply or an ask! Love ya!

You just wanted it to be over. The suffocating silence had you paralysed against the seat as the two men roiled in mutual loathing. Lee kept a hand on the wheel as his other kept wandering close to your skirt. You were embarrassed at his lack of shame.

Then it started. The whole seat shook with each kick of Andre’s feet against the back as he stomped the leather like a child. Lee jolted and gripped the wheel with both hands as he glared at the rear view mirror. He growled and cleared his throat.

“Boy, you don’t want to do this,” he snarled, “right now, you got one maybe two charges. I don’t care how rich your daddy is, I can have you at the station for months if I wanna.”

“Blah, blah, blah, you’re just small time, buddy,” Andre hissed, “gettin’ your kicks with college girls. It’s you who should be sitting back here--”

“And what were you doin’, boy? Houndin’ the girl across campus like ya do,” Lee retorted, “I’m tellin’ you one last time to shut your mouth.”

“Lee, please,” you murmured, “I just… please, just let him go and we can… um, be alone.”

“Oh yeah, she sounds real excited for your fat ass,” Andre chuckled.

“Andre,” you turned to peek over the seat, “I’m trying to help you.”

“I don’t need your help…” Andre jutted out his jaw and looked out the window, “...slut.”

The silence pervaded the car again. Lee’s breath gristled in his throat but he said nothing at his cheek twitched. You sat back and hugged yourself as you watched the road through the windshield. The tension strangled you and you just rocked as you wished for it all to be over. You wanted to go back to your dorm and hide under your covers.

The way ahead grew darker and while you weren’t familiar with much beyond the campus, it didn’t seem to be the way to the station. You glanced over at Lee and fidgeted. Trees rose around you and the land plateaued before a long bridge that stretched over a loudly flowing river.

Lee slowed and killed the engine. A shiver crept up your spine as you got a bad feeling in your stomach. You watched him climb out as his weight shook the car. You held your breath, time slowing as you held your breath and watched him open Andre’s door. It was the younger man’s huffs that brought you back to reality.

The sheriff dragged him out and they struggled as you pushed yourself across the seat and got out on the driver’s side. Lee fought with Andre as he angled him around to the railing of the bridge. You followed and saw the dark shadows of the crashing river as it dipped down into a dam.

“Wait, wait,” you grabbed onto Lee as he turned Andre to face the water, “what are you doing?”

“Now, honey, you go back to the car, you don’ need to be out here,” he elbowed you away, “I’m just teaching the boy a lesson.”

“Lee, please, let’s go--”

“Go back to the car now, dammit, woman,” he snapped and you flinched at his tone.

“Fucking pig,” Andre spat, “oh, I’m so afraid--”

“Uh huh,” Lee grumbled and bent and grabbed Andre’s legs. He thrust him up and over the rail, dangling him there as his cuffed arms bent awkwardly behind him, “y’aint scared, I see.”

“Hey, hey, let me up,” Andre demanded, “you fucking pyscho.”

“Now I just want you to think about how you talk to authority, boy,” Lee taunted, “lots more I could do than close you in a cell for the night and give a meal to tide ya over, don’t ya think?”

“You’re fucked,” Andre swore, “get me up.”

“I got no problem lettin’ you up, I just wanna hear it,” Lee snickered.

“Here what?”

“Here you beg,” Lee sneered, “just like this girl’s gonna be beggin’ for me and not you--”

“Lee,” you uttered in shock.

“Honey, now, I won’t tell ya again--”

Lee stumbled back and his arms flew out as he tried to catch himself. You heard Andre scream and ran up to watch him plummet down into the depths, legs flailing and crashing with a terrible splash. You gasped and covered your mouth as he dissipated into the black waves.

“Shit,” Lee grumbled as he stood and came up next to you, “I told ya go back in the car, distractin’ me like that.” He grabbed your shoulder and squeezed, “ain’t ya a good girl? You know how to listen, don’t ya?”

“Andre,” you tried to shrug the sheriff away, “is he--”

“Even if his head still in one piece, he got them hands tied,” Lee tutted, “goddamn accident like that, tragic thing.”

“Why would you do that? Why would you hang him--”

You were stunned as Lee shot his hand up to grip your chin. He forced your mouth closed and pushed you against the rail as he closed you in with his size. He glared at you in the shadow of his headlights, “what are you sayin’, girl? You talkin’ back to me?”

“Please--”

He pressed his finger to your lips and shushed you, “please, nothing, honey. This is your fault. That boy be back on his feet if you weren’t out her naggin’ me. You aint my wife yet.”

“Lee--”

“Sir,” he corrected you and poked his finger into your mouth, “now, they gon find that boy and they’ll call me and I’ll make sure they don’t get a whiff of us. You know kids, into weird things these days, always where they don’t belong.”

You blinked at him as your eyes glossed and pushed another finger into your mouth and hummed, “well, looks like we can get on with our date, honey pie.”

📚

It wasn’t until the lights of the city blurred your tears that you realised you were crying. You were horrified by the man beside you and yourself. You kept seeing Andre falling, hearing his scream, hearing the sharp splash against the water. You imagined the way his bones would’ve cracked and his lungs would fill as he was helpless to escape the flow of the river.

When the car stopped, you winced and Lee grabbed your hand as it balled tightly in your lap. He pried your fingers open and laced his between them.

“Honey pie, I’m sorry I spoke to ya like that,” he purred, “it was only… I was worried for ya. I didn’t want ya to see all that. Just tryna protect you and all that.”

“Can you take me home--”

“Home? Is that small room really a home, honey?” he shifted closer to your on the street and caressed your cheek, “you seen my home, our home. I wanna share it with you.”

“I got school,” you wisped weakly as he let go of your hand and slid his arm over your shoulders, “I can’t--”

“What you learnin’ in that school? You don’t need none of it. History? You can read at home.”

“But I… worked so hard. I wanna learn--”

“Let’s not talk about this right now, honey pie,” he cradled your chin, “it’s been a long night.”

You looked down, too hollow to argue. You didn’t want to marry him, at least you didn’t think you did. You still had another three years of school at the end of the semester and you enjoyed your classes. You might be alone but you weren’t lonely.

“So, you read some?” he asked as his thumb tapped on your chin.

“Yes,” you said quietly, “a little.”

“That first chapter,” he said as he pressed your lip down, “you wanna try some of that?”

Your eyes widened and you gulped. You looked out the window and realised that you didn’t know where you were. You could push him away and climb out but you wouldn’t know where to go from there. And you couldn’t do all that. You were trapped.

“Sure,” you replied and kept from sobbing, there was no other answer he would accept.

“Alright,” he pulled away and stretched his arms across the seat, “like I said, honey, you take the lead.”

You gaped at him and felt his gaze in the dim. The headlights were off and you heard the distant sound of tires. You were all alone in the heart of the metropolis. You rubbed your hands together as you hesitated.

“Your mouth, honey pie,” he breathed, “I been thinking about it all day.”

You remembered the opening scene in the book, the explicit descriptions of the sloppy mess of the act. You inhaled deeply and told yourself not to be you, be the woman in the book, be Delilah, the temptress.

You reached for Lee’s fly before you could snap back to doubt and fear. You tugged at his belt clumsily as your hands shook and you pushed down his zipper. You felt him harden beneath his pants as you did and you sucked in a lungful of air.

Your lips quivered as he groaned and tilted his hips. You pushed his fly open and reached into his briefs. You gripped him and gasped.

“That’s all for you, honey pie,” he purred, “see what you do to me?”

You couldn’t speak. You couldn’t find your voice in your tight throat. You licked your lips and braced yourself for what you were about to do. You’d come this far, there was no turning back.

[starrysymphonies]

⬆️⬆️⬆️THIS ANALYSIS IS SO GOOD AND EVERYONE NEEDS TO READ IT

YES. ABSOLUTELY. I LOVE THIS INTERPRETATION OF THESE CHARACTERS

You mentioned the escalation from “Balloon was kind of a jerk” to “Balloon was a manipulator just like Nickel” and honestly I wouldn’t be surprised if it were partially due to the ii crew rarely looking back at their old work

Which, honestly, is kinda believable, especially considering their treatment of suitcase in iii13 (i.e. FORGETTING SHE WAS THE ONE WHO ELIMINATED NICKEL, NOT BALLOON), as well as other inconsistencies

What also bothers me is how in iii14 the writers make Nickel mitigate his actions in season 2 by making him sound like “oh everything was amazing and there were SOME rough patches but we were friends!!” despite the fact he seemed VERY AWARE of what he was doing in seasons prior.

Sure, he tried to make himself sound like the hero, where he’s “protecting” Suitcase from the EVIL Balloon and keeping his alliance “safe.” He had a misconception about Suitcase and him being closer than they actually were, sure, but he never believed things were a-okay. He thought Balloon was an ACTIVE threat to the alliance.

Having the writers double back on that very clearly stated fact feels kinda cheap from a writing standpoint.

There could’ve been so much intrigue where Nickel could’ve shifted that hatred of Balloon (which would RATIONALLY — though Nickel isn’t known to be rational so take this next bit with a grain of salt — lose a bit of steam after the double elimination since Balloon was shown to not be as heartless as they “seemed”) towards Suitcase

In ii invitational, this would still let Balloon and Nickel become allies/friends in the early episodes like they did in canon. Nickel is weary at first but his already waning hatred and the fact he’s being near Balloon which would force him to realize they’re not, in fact, a horrible terrible person. Balloon is just thankful Nickel doesn’t hate them anymore (maybe a little nervous that if they don’t also play nice, Nickel will go back to ostracizing them from everyone), and assumes Nickel holds no hatred towards Suitcase, at worst dislike, at best respect for her play in the game.

Instead of the “Remember how BALLOON got YOU ELIMINATED” (didn’t even happen that way) moment, Nickel would at some point reveal his dislike/hatred for Suitcase, possibly also through Silver & Candle intervention in case we want them to still be there!! It could even be Nickel trying to convince Balloon how “bad” Suitcase is as a friend and alliance member now that he thinks Balloon is On His Side

This Obviously hurts Balloon, who is already feeling upset because they’re not being listened to (something that the ii crew hasn’t really touched on either despite being more interesting than bringing up Balloon’s past for the fifteenth time!!!)

The vote proceeds as in-canon. Instead of yelling at Nickel about how he still sees Balloon the same way (though yelling at him about giving away the Immunity Cookie should stay because that was good), it would be an argument about how Nickel has never changed from how he was in S2.

He hasn’t ever changed, he’s just shifted targets and Balloon’s just seeing him from a different perspective. Suitcase’s perspective. And they’re cutting him off before they get wrapped up in his games again

I absolutely love hearing this ramble of yours. I LOVE hearing other people’s thoughts and analyses it’s the highlight of my day /gen

TLDR; The analysis above is AMAZING!! The ii writers are inconsistent esp. with the Armless Alliance plot, and I could’ve come up with a better plot for the Nickel + Balloon friendship and then divorce

Literally all Balloon did in s1 was insult their teammates, slingshot Sslt into the gorge (which was THE CHALLENGE, and Pickle tripped over Rocky and let go too early so that wasn’t even their fault tbh), and made an alliance with the INTENT to manipulate (but never did on screen). Yet the entire ii cast acts like he poisoned their crops, killed their mother, and kicked their dog

[silkling]

This is part two of an ask box fic. For part one, click below.

Part 1

———————————————————————————————————

Cody had been expecting to see Blades sitting in front of the TV when he and the others returned. He had not been expecting to see the large bot the team had rescued holding the copter while said copter made a sharp, painful sounding noise. When he, his siblings, and the other three bots had returned to the firehouse, they’d been chatting and teasing Heatwave about his increasing frustration with his difficulty at contacting Optimus. Then when they’d gotten down to the bunker, the three Cybertronians had abruptly stopped talking, before they’d looked concerned and panicked and rushed ahead. The humans had followed as quickly as they could, and the group arrived to see Blades in the large bot’s grasp, making that noise that Cody didn’t know the meaning behind.

The large bot noticed the, first, and a sharp, red gaze snapped to the group. “More younglings, little one? I suppose I should not be surprised, the Rescue Force did tend to match teams within the same age bracket.” he remarked.

Cody didn’t know what a “youngling” was by Cybertronian standards, but to human ears it sounded like the new bot was calling Sigma-17 kids. Or at the very least, younger than adults.

Heatwave clearly didn’t care about what the bot had to say. “You let Blades go!” he snarled, stepping forward and looking ready to tackle the larger bot.

Blades had startled and gone silent when the bigger flyer spoke, but at Heatwave’s words he jumped and pulled himself free, gathering his pedes under him and standing between his team and the larger bot. “Wait!” he protested. “He wasn’t hurting me. I was kinda…collapsing, and he kept me front falling.”

Cody frowned. “Why were you collapsing?”

“He told me something that Optimus should have told us a long time ago. Something very bad.”

“And what was that?” Kade snipped, eyes narrowed.

“I’d be curious to know too.” Dad’s voice came from behind them. Cody turned to see his father stepping out of the elevator. “But first, maybe we should sit down. Something tells me this news isn’t going to be pretty.”

“You are a clever human.” The stranger rumbled. “I believe that would indeed be best.”

Heatwave growled, but nodded stiffly. “This way.”

He led them to the lounge area, where everyone got settled and comfortable. The stranger sat on the floor, Blades and Boulder took the couch, and Dani and Graham sat beside their respective partners. Heatwave sat leaning against the couch, and Kade sat leaning against him. Chase pulled over a Cybertronian sized beanbag Graham and Boulder had made, and Dad squished in next to him. Cody, after a moment of consideration, stepped in and sat in front of the newcomer. The large bot shot him an arched brow, and the human just smiled and waved in response.

“So.” Heatwave grunted. “What’s this news?”

“We’re the last Rescue Bots.” Blades cut in, voice quiet.

Chase was frowning. “That is not entirely news. Optimus implied as much when we asked him about the rest of the Rescue Force. I assume the rest of the Rescue Teams were folded into the Autobot ranks when the War began.”

Boulder frowned. “That would make sense, though I have a hard time believing the others would just….abandon in the oaths of neutrality we all took.”

“They did not.” The stranger cut in. “When the War began, the Rescue Force remained neutral. They aided and rescued mechs from both factions. Megatron offered them the chance to join the Decepticons, and they refused. They wished to hold true to their oaths to serve and protect all who needed it. Megatron did not take kindly to the refusal. In order to make an example of them, and also to remove a faction that would aid his enemies, he destroyed the Rescue Force Headquarters and offlined every Rescue Team there. Survivors of the initial attack, as well as those who were simply not present, were subsequently hunted down and slaughtered.” he said bluntly.

There was dead silence in the bunker, with horror growing palpable in the air.

“Dreadwing.” Blades’s voice was weak. “Maybe that was a bit blunt.” He glanced at his teammates. “I think he’s right. I found a mention of the “end of the Rescue Force” in one of High Tide’s data pads. Plus…remember what Optimus said when he first saw us? “I was not aware Rescue Teams were still active.” That’s what he told us.”

Dreadwing. So that was the stranger’s name. Still, he was more worried about the bots. Boulder looked horrified and increasingly sick. Heatwave looked stunned and angry and grief-stricken all at once. Chase looked disbelieving. None of them seemed to be able to protest what they’d been told.

“Dreadwing, is it?” Dad’s voice rose in the silence. “You seem to know a lot about the topic.”

“Any Cybertronian who was alive at the time knows about the Fall of the Rescue Force. It was a great tragedy.”

“That’s why Optimus is so adamant about keeping us here.” Blades whispered. “He knew. He probably thought we’d be in danger if any other bot knew what we are.”

“You would be.” Dreadwing agreed. “If Lord Megatron were to discover your existence, he would send his forces to see you slain, even if it meant razing this island to the ground to do so. Perhaps he would even keep you alive long enough to force Optimus Prime and his team watch your destruction.” He stated, blunt and hard.

Everyone collectively flinched at that, looking sick and horrified at the prospect. Cody could relate. The way Dreadwing discussed such violence and such horrors…it was so casual. He didn’t know what to make of it. The Rescue Bots didn’t speak so bluntly about that sort of thing, but he knew that was due to lack of exposure to that level of violence. Optimus and High Tide were both also very…sanitized, in the way they spoke of the War. It wasn’t necessarily bad that Dreadwing didn’t care to censor himself, but Cody certainly wasn’t used to it. Just the idea of his friends being stolen away and killed to make a point made him sick.

Graham’s voice broke the silence. “Lord Megatron.” he sound, sounding strained. “You called him “Lord Megatron”. I can’t imagine any Autobot calling the leader of their enemy something like “lord”. Which means you’re not an Autobot. You’re a Decepticon.”

There was a second of silence, and then Heatwave surged forward and yanked Cody away from Dreadwing. As one, the Rescue Bots, baring Blades for some reason, lowered the windshields in their chests to let their partners climb in to safety. As for Blades…he just stood, carefully maneuvering Dani out of range of danger and stepping forward before anyone else could do anything. Cody, still dazed and now strapped into Heatwave’s passenger seat, could only watch in confusion.

“Everybody stop and calm down!” The copter snapped, his rotors rattling against his back. The other bots were still, and Dreadwing hadn’t moved from his seat on the floor.

The large bot shifted his gaze to Boulder, or rather, Boulder’s chest where Graham was tucked away. “You are correct.” he said, voice somber. “I am a Decepticon. Or rather, I was. It was Megatron himself who gave me the wound that nearly offlined me.” He paused. “I am afraid I am still teaching myself to shed the loyalty that once bound me to him. I spent many millennia calling him my Lord, and it is a habit that is very difficult to break.” He tilted his head. “Regardless, I assure you I have no desire to return to the Decepticons. I would be destroyed if I were to return.”

That seemed to calm the bots down, and Dani frowned from where Blades had stashed her. “You knew, didn’t you partner?”

Blades sighed. “I suspected.” he admitted. “I read in the data pads that Optimus left for us that after the fall of Vos, most Seekers joined the Deceptions. Dreadwing is a Seeker. I put the pieces together.”

Dreadwing bristled at the mention of “Vos”, though Cody didn’t know what that was. “Vos was destroyed and razed to the ground by Autobot forces, little flyer.” he rumbled. “Seekers did not join the Autobots when the War began because most of those who did were the same who had spent generations abusing and ostracizing any and all flight-frames.” he said bluntly. “It is why most flyers joined the Deceptions. They did not wish to be treated as lesser simply because of a different vehicle mode.”

Dani blinked. “Huh. So bigots exist on all planets, then.” she sighed. “The War…are you saying it started as a social revolution?”

“Just so.” Dreadwing nodded at her. “In the beginning, it was not Optimus Prime who led the Autobots. It was his predecessor, a mech called Sentinel. Sentinel was backed by the Senate. The same Senate that had created laws to force mechs to live only by the function of their frame types, and the same Senate that allowed flight-frames to be treated as filth. When Megatron rose up initially, it was to fight for justice and put an end to the caste system.”

This was news to all the humans. They’d heard about the War, of course, but hearing about how it started and why it had began put new context on things.

“The Senate refused to listen, and thus the War began. Megatron initially led as non-violently as possible, but then any who harbored even slight anti-Senate mentalities began to be culled by Autobot Enforcers. Flyers were confined to the ground by force when not in Vos, and in Vos they were not permitted to leave the city.” The Seeker continued. “What started as a fight for equality turned into Decepticons fighting for their right simply to live. And then the Senate was assassinated, and Sentinel destroyed, and Optimus Prime took his place. By then, it was too late for things to return to peace. Too many Decepticons feared they would be killed for the crime of wanting a better life and fighting for it, and too many Autobots were bitter and angry towards the chaos the Decepticon had wrought. And so, the War continued.” he sighed.

There was silence for a long moment, and the Rescue Bots finally returned to their previous positions, though they didn’t let the humans out just yet. Blades sat on the couch, and Dani shifted over to perch on his shoulder. Everyone present was silent for a moment, taking in what they had been told. This…changed things. Certainly, the Decepticons had done horrible things. The fact that they had slaughtered the Rescue Bots was a prime example. But to learn why they had risen and where they had come from…it put a lot into perspective.

“Blades.” Dani spoke up. “You’re a flyer. Did you run into any of that sort of thing Dreadwing was talking about, before your stasis nap?” she asked.

Blades sputtered. “Well, no.” he seemed embarrassed. “You know I wasn’t always a flyer. I was a ground-frame, on Cybertron. Sure, I’d heard about the anti-flyer and anti-Seeker stuff but I never experienced it. Dreadwing is telling the truth, though. Cybertron…didn’t have the best social system. I did know about the civil unrest, thought it hadn’t grown to a revolution quite yet the last time I was on Cybertron.” he said, sheepish.

Before one of the humans could ask for an elaboration, Dreadwing was straightening up. “Youngling. You mean to tell me you were able to shift from a ground-frame to a flight-frame by scanning a new vehicle mode?”

Blades paused. “Yes?”

Dreadwing was quiet, before uttering what Cody was very sure was a curse. “You do realize that is an extraordinarily rare ability? Even triple changers are more common than that.”

“Really?” Blades, and even all the other bots, seemed stunned by this revelation.

“Yes.” Dreadwing was frowning. “Most Cybertronian t-cogs will only allow for scanning and transformation into a vehicle mode that is compatible with your root mode. To be able to change from a grounder to a flyer by simply scanning a new vehicle mode…it speaks of a highly malleable and adaptable base frame type. The kind one expects from the tales of the Shifters of old.”

That made the Bots perk up, and Cody made a note to ask about that later. For now, he opted to stay quiet and let the Cybertronians figure this out. And it seemed his family had the same idea. Even Kade, for once.

“Are you saying I’m a Shifter?” Blades seemed frantic at the idea.

“No.” Dreadwing shook his head. “But perhaps you have coding descended from them.” He sighed. “Your ability, little one, is one I have only ever heard of on Cybertron. Many would be jealous of you. I know many flyers would not give up their flight for anything, but I know of many more who would have wanted your ability desperately in order to change to a ground-frame and escape the derision.”

Blades blinked, then looked down. “Oh.” he whispered.

Heatwave growled. “Look, it’s all well and good that we’ve figured this out, but now what? You were a Decepticon! You could hurt us or someone else on the island!”

Dreadwing looked unimpressed. “I have no intentions of doing any such thing, though I will leave if you prefer.”

“But won’t Megatron kill you?” Boulder asked.

“He will try. I will simply have to avoid him.”

“Then why not join the Autobots?” Chase asked.

The Seeker’s expression went dark. “No. While Optimus Prime is honorable, the Autobots have not always been such. I have lost too much to their regime to submit myself to the brand, even if it is different now.”

No one seemed to know what to say to that. After a long moment, the humans were finally let out of the cabs of their respective partners, and Cody saw an odd look in his Dad’s eye.

“Hoe about this, then.” Dad said. “We don’t feel right about sending you off where you might be killed. You don’t want to fight the Autobots, you don’t want to fight for the Decepticons. Am I right so far?”

Dreadwing simply bowed his head.

“Do you even want to fight in the War at all, anymore?”

Dreadwing paused. “The Decepticons committed a crime which I must put right. But other than that, no.” There was a pause. “Even with my end goal, it is not the Decepticons at large I wish to see defeated. It is only one mech among their ranks.”

Dad hummed slowly, then nodded. “I’m guessing you’re not ready to tell us the details, so I won’t even ask.” he said. “Here’s what I propose: you stay here on Griffin Rock. You don’t let yourself be seen by the humans here, we do have a cover to maintain after all. You can think and plan your next steps here. That lets us keep an eye on you, and keeps our minds at ease that you’re not out there running for your life from a tyrant. You just can’t destroy anything or hurt anyone or cause trouble.”

Cody was surprised by the offer, and clearly Dreadwing was too. What did his Dad see in this large bot that was making him take a chance like this? Cody wasn’t against it, but it was a little unusual.

Dreadwing seemed to think over the offer, before he nodded. “I will accept your terms.”

Dad relaxed, and before Kade could protest he waved his children along. “Now come on, everyone. It’s late and we humans need our rest.” he said. “Kade, not here. We can discuss this more later. Let’s go, everyone.”

Cody hopped off Heatwave’s knee, and followed his siblings and father to the lift. The last thing he saw before the doors closed was the Rescue Bots turning to their newest addition, and heard the start of a question before the doors shutting cut it off.

“So what else do you know that Optimus isn’t-“

——————————

Everything came to a head a week after Dreadwing had settled into the bunker. The Seeker had taken over one back corner of the large room, converting it into a small space for himself. None of the other bots or humans had raised a fuss at that. But Kade was getting increasingly agitated. It was clear that he didn’t understand why Blades and his team were so calm about letting a Decepticon live peacefully with them. Personally, the copter bot attributed that to the fact that the firefighter was human, so he probably didn’t understand the Cybertronian cultural or societal intricacies that had allowed the five bots to come to an understanding. That day, Kade had been particularly snarly. Even Boulder was starting to get put off by it.

They had gathered in the bunker. Blades was watching TV with Dreadwing and Chase, trying to explain the allure of his favorite show to the two bots. Boulder was painting, and Heatwave was on his little sparring platform. The humans had come down in time to see Dreadwing pinch one of Blade’s finials when the little copter bot’s rotors had straightened and extended, threatening to start spinning right there on his back due to his excitement. It had pulled Blades back to himself, and he’d sheepishly tucked his rotors back along his spinal strut while shooting the older mech an apologetic grin.

To a Cybertronian, such a gesture from an older mech to a youngling would not have raised any attention. The gentle tweak hadn’t even hurt his sensitive finials. But to a human, especially one who didn’t have or understand the context of Cybertronian culture, the gesture and lack of reaction from the bots could easily be misunderstood.

So really, Blades wasn’t surprised that Kade had finally snapped. As soon as he’d seen the interaction, he’d roared a demand to know what was going on, questioning how the bots could live with someone who had been part of the same team that had wiped out all the other Rescue Bots. That was when Chief Burns had sighed and suggested they all get settled in the lounge to talk again. They had, taking up the same positions as the previous time, though this time Boulder also dragged over a large beanbag for himself and Graham, while Dani perched on Blade’s shoulder and Dreadwing took the free spot on the couch. Which was where they were now.

“Alright.” Kade spat. “So I’m not getting something here, obviously. Why are you four so comfortable around him? He literally admitted that he used to be a Decepticon! The same guys that destroyed your Rescue Force!”

“But he wasn’t there.” Blades chimed in. “We talked when you went to bed that night. He joined the ‘Cons after the Autobots destroyed Vos, which happened after the fall of the Rescue Force.”

“And that changes anything?” Kade sputtered.

“It changes everything.” Heatwave grunted. “He wasn’t part of the group that destroyed the Rescue Force. And even though he joined them later, it wasn’t to inflict violence, it was in response to his home and people being destroyed. That may be hard to understand, based on what I know of your human culture, but for us Cybertronians that’s enough.”

Kade crossed his arms, scowling fiercely. “Fine. I guess I can accept that, even if I don’t get it. What I don’t get is why you’d defect.” he directed the last part at Dreadwing. “You hinted last time we talked that you served Megatron for thousands and thousands of years, and joined him because he was fighting for a just cause, one you believed in. What changed?”

Dreadwing frowned, staring hard at the human. “You are correct, Skyquake and I did originally join Megatron because we believed him to be honorable and just.” he tilted his head. “As the War progressed and left Cybertron, Megatron gradually became more…mad. However, we still followed him because we had sworn an oath of loyalty, and to break that oath would be dishonorable.” he rumbled. “And we did not fully agree with the Autobots either, even after Optimus Prime took command.”

“Hold on.” Graham cut in. “Skyquake?”

Dreadwing blinked, and something odd entered his gaze. Blades felt the flash of grief in his EM afield before it abruptly cut off. “Yes. Skyquake. He was my brother. We were split spark twins.”

“I thought you said you guys don’t have families like humans!” Kade said to Heatwave, eyes narrowed.

The fire truck scowled. “We don’t! Not usually! There’s only really one exception, and that’s so rare I didn’t think it mattered!”

“Two exceptions.” Blades intervened quickly. “There’s actually two exceptions, two ways for Cybertronians to have siblings.”

Looks were directed at him, and he squirmed under the attention. Slag, he hadn’t meant to say that. They’d want to know how he knew and that was something he wanted to keep to himself. It was his burden to bare.

Dreadwing sensed his discomfort, cutting in before the questions could start and drawing the attention back to himself. “Yes. The first exception is that of split spark twins.” He glanced at the humans. “We Cybertronians are not created like you organics. On Cybertron, our source of life is called the Well of All Sparks. It is where all sparks are created, and where all sparks return upon deactivation.”

“A spark is like…your soul, right? It’s what gives you guys life and makes you who you are.” Dani questioned.

Dreadwing dipped his helm towards her. “Indeed. When a new Cybertronian comes into be, their spark is created in the Well. It goes through several layers of the Well’s energy, the spark refining and becoming more defined as it progresses to the edge of the Well from the center. Often, the sparks will not maintain their form in this process, and their energy will dissipate and return to the Well.” Noting the human’s looks, he shook his head. “The spark has no life or sentience at that time, it is merely a small collection of energy. It is if the spark holds its form past the final layer of shaping that it gains sentience and life. At that point, the energy of the Well pulls resources from Cybertron itself to create a protoform, a physical body, around the spark. Then, the protoform is pushed from the Well, and thus a new Cybertronian is created.” the Seeker explained.

“That doesn’t explain how you guys can have siblings.” Graham pointed out.

Dreadwing dipped his head. “Twins like myself are a rarity. They occur when, just before a protoform is formed around the spark, a surge of energy from the Well causes the spark to split into two. When that happens, most sparks to not survive and dissipate. If they do survive, the Well forms two protoforms around the two halves. The two halves of the spark can function on their own, and are fully formed in their own right, but due to the fact they were one a singular spark those two halves are forever bound.” he explained it carefully.

“Two halves, one whole.” Graham said, eyes lighting up with understanding.

Dreadwing nodded. “Yes. That is how split spark twins are created. Due to the bond, twins are very close to one another. A spark bond is a precious thing, little human.” His optics went distant, and Blades’s own spark ached with painful remembrance. “Through a spark bond, you are always and forever aware of the one who you share the bond with. You know what they feel, how they think, you know them in every way that they in turn know you. You can talk and communicate using the bond, and it can never be detected or listened in on. Distance can dampen a bond, and the further one gets from those they are bonded to the more muted it becomes. At one point, the bond becomes too muted to talk in words, and you can share only base thoughts and emotions.” he rumbled. “But even so, the bond persists, and it allows you to know your bonded is still living.”

“And…this Skyquake. He’s your twin? Where is he?” Kade asked.

“Gone.” Dreadwing said, his EM field flaring with that sharp agony, and even the humans could hear the grief in his tone. “Offlined before I even arrived on Earth.”

“How did it happen?” Chief asked, voice somber.

Dreadwing stared at him for a long moment, and Blades could see the grief in the angle at which he held his wings, even if he had reigned in his EM field. “Centuries ago, Megatron stationed my brother here in stasis in order to guard over Deception energon deposits. I was aware of his mission, but I was sent to far off star systems to fight in the War.” he sighed. “Recently, Skyquake was awoken, and in an ensuing confrontation with the Autobots he was slain by Optimus Prime and his scout.”

Blades flinched, optics wide. Bumblebee had killed Dreadwing’s twin? He supposed he couldn’t really judge a situation in which he didn’t have all the information, but he still had a hard time imagining the friendly yellow bit he knew actually killing someone else.

“How did you survive?” he blurted out. Looks were directed to him again, confused, but Dreadwing understood.

“Distance.” he rumbled. “I was so far away at from my brother at the time of his death that the bond was too strained for me to even feel his strongest emotions. I could only barely tell he was still living, and even then only when I focused on the link between our shared spark.” His gaze went sad. “I felt his death. The surge of energy that came from the bond breaking did reach me, but by the time it did it had had to travel so great a distance that it had dulled too much to overwhelm and gutter out my own spark. All I felt was a very faint sting. It didn’t even hurt to feel him perish.” he said, and he sounded bitter at it.

Blades could understand. “I’m sorry.” he said honestly.

Dreadwing sighed. “He died an honorable death. For that much, I am grateful.”

Kade cleared his throat, frowning. “Okay.” he said carefully. “But that doesn’t explain why you left the ‘Cons. Shouldn’t you have more reason to stay with the, if the Autobots killed your twin?”

Dreadwing growled lowly here. “No.” he denied. “The Autobots gave my brother a good death, a death I know Skyquake would not have been ashamed of. For all I resent the Autobots from taking my brother from me, it is War, and I cannot find fault in them removing an enemy from the battlefield.” He turned a sharp look to Kade. “It was the Starscream, however, who is a Decepticon, who desecrated my brother’s rest by defiling his corpse and turning him into a Terrorcon.”

Blades inhaled sharply, rage clouding his processor. He seethed, his rotors clamping tight to his spinal strut, his optics going dark and angry, and his hands curling into fists. Dani was the only one to notice, and she didn’t want to draw attention to him just yet.

“Terrorcon? Cody asked.

“A zombie.” Boulder offered, looking sick. Actually, all the bots look sick. “Or the closest equivalent to it there is for Cybertronians.”

And now the humans all looked sick. “Oh.” Kade said. “That’s why you left.”

“Yes.” Dreadwing said darkly. “I learned the truth, and when I attempted to avenge my bother Megatron attempted to destroy me. It did not matter to him that Starscream had attempted to assassinate and betray him on countless occasions. He sought my death in order to protect a known traitor.” he growled. “Starscream turned my brother into something twisted and abhorrent. That is why I left.” he finished.

“I’m surprised you didn’t rip his spark out.” Blades hissed. Stunned gazes turned to the copter, and everyone was alarmed to see just how angry he looked. “I’d have tried to, in your place.”

The only one who wasn’t surprised was Dreadwing. “I did try, and I was almost killed for it. I will avenge Skyquake one day, little one. But for now, calm yourself.”

Blades actually snarled at that. His rotors rattled aggressively, the smaller ones in his pedes whirling to life with a loud buzzing, and his engine all but roared with fury. “Just the idea of someone doing that-!” he cut himself off, snarling again. Dreadwing was quick to pick Dani off the youngling’s shoulder and set her down.

“Blades.” he snapped. The others were too frozen in shock at the sight of the usually bubbly copter so aggressive.

“No!” Blades snapped. “If someone did that to ‘Aid, or Groove, or Streetwise, or Hot Spot, or any of them, I’d rip them apart myself!”

Dreadwing narrowed his optics, his processor working quickly. There was no reason for the youngling to get so upset at the idea of a spark sibling being so badly defiled, no reason for him to take it so personally. And those names…

“You are gestalt, aren’t you, little one?”

That was enough to snap Blades out of his angry haze, and his optics shot wide. Fear swamped his field, and his rotors abruptly silenced and clamped back against his spine while the rotors in his pedes cut off with a sharp grinding noise. “What?”

“Given your reaction, and those names you said….it is the only conclusion that makes sense.”

“Wait, Blades…you’re part of a gestalt?” Boulder asked, his own optics blown wide.

“That…would explain your reaction.” Chase offered hesitantly.

“Blades.” Heatwave prompted at the copter’s continued silence.

“Uh, hello? Clueless humans here!” Dani called. “Blades, put me back up. Also, what’s a gestalt?”

The youngling bent down, allowing his partner to climb her way back up to his shoulder before he sat up. He sagged, looking defeated,

“A gestalt is the other way Cybertronians can have siblings.” he said quietly. “It happens in the Well. Most of the time, the Well creates on spark at a time. Creating a living spark is a complex process, so it can’t afford to create too many at once. Every once in a while though, the Well has an excess of energy, undetectable to any technology. When that happens, it creates multiple sparks at once. If all those sparks survive to the edge of the Well, then the excess energy pulls them together into one large, massive spark. Many sparks, becoming one. They remain combined until the energy stabilizes, and then split into the original number again and that’s when the protoforms are created around the sparks.” He sighed. “When that happens, all the bots in that group are linked. They were created by the Well together, and they were merged together by the Well to bind their sparks. That’s a gestalt. Because of the spark merge that occurred in the Well, gestalt can actually merge themselves again outside of it. They can push together their sparks and processors and very beings to become a singular bot. Gestalt frames are even adapted to that they can physically combine, each member becoming a different body part, in order to form the body of a new, larger mech while their sparks combine to form the mech’s own spark. Many, becoming one.” Blades looked down. “My brothers and I are that. We can combine to form Defensor. I’m the arm.” he said weakly.

——————————

Part 3

[rainingpouringetc]

RAIN THEY KILLED YOUR COMFORT CHARACTER???

OH MY GOD NO *wraps you up in blanket* NOOOOOOOOO

YOU WANNA TALK ABOUT IT LOVE???

YES THEY DID AND NOW IM LISTENING TO SAD MUSIC ABOUT IT

like at least they didn’t do it in a totally stupid way? and the actor (joseph quinn my beloved <3) poured his heart and SOUL into that death scene like it was absolutely heart wrenching and there were so many parallels from earlier in the season and he was such a good character like. ya know what yes i am going to rant about it actually

the most obvious arc in eddie’s storyline is this exploration of heroism and it’s So Important to me ok. the very first episode during a dnd campaign, he tells the others that today isn’t the day to try and play hero and there’s no shame in running. then at the end of the episode when chrissy dies he runs away and feels really torn up about it with dustin and co find him later, like he wishes he could be better but just can’t bring himself to stand and fight. he states multiple times that he’s just a coward and he runs away from everything. he doesn’t think of himself as a hero at all

this is pretty different from just about all the other characters in the main cast who have a tendency to run headlong into danger because It’s Not Like It’s Gonna Kill Me Or Anything (even though it totally could). the main cast of characters are all undeniable heroic and brave, but also unreachable and not nearly as relatable. maybe i’m just speaking for myself but. if a demogorgon appeared in my life my response would not be to track it down and kill it to save everyone but rather to get the hell out of dodge before it gets me too.

eddie is sort of the bridge between that mystic unknown and reality, in my opinion. he runs away from the danger because that’s what we’d all do. he wishes he was better and could do the right thing because that’s what we’d all do. and then he goes and does what people want to see themselves as: in the end, he chooses to stay and fight and protect the people he loves even though he knows he will die in the process. it’s the whole “courage isn’t the absence of fear but the decision to act in spite of it” thing but it’s so powerful coming from an ostracized “freak” that you’d never expect it from.

then you add on the obvious queer coding — like to the point that i think one could make the argument that he is canonically gay or bi — and the story takes on a whole new layer of aldsfkasdfness. i just. this man ok. 

so yes, his death wasn’t pointless or meaningless but he was the first character in this whole show that i saw and immediately went “yes that one i want it” so it really sucks that he only made it through one season before they killed him off.

anyway. gonna go read my fics where he is very much not dead and ignore volume two until the next season comes out and i’m forced to acknowledge its existence <3

[dimigex]

Innocence - KakaSaku

A03, FF

Continuing my 'let's stop obsessively worrying about being perfect and get some things posted' trend.

Kakashi pulled backward, breath hitching in his throat as he fought to maintain control over himself. The room spun and he pressed his elbows into the couch, lifting his body several inches from the warmth of Sakura's. Her lower lip slid into a kissable pout that required nearly all of Kakashi's composure to resist. He brushed a hand over her flushed cheek and traced the soft curve of her lower lip with his thumb. Meeting Kakashi's eyes, Sakura curled her lips around the finger, trailed her breathy kiss down to his open palm, then settled against his wrist.

"Stop," Kakashi groaned, sitting back on his knees with palms resting flat on his thighs.

Sakura pulled her elbows behind her, shifting into a reclining position that made Kakashi uncomfortably aware of her curves. This was a terrible decision, probably the worst one that he'd made since agreeing to become Hokage. Maybe worse than that. Uncertainty arched through his chest, warring with the desire and the thoughts that he dare not put into words, even in the safety of his mind.

A soft hand touched Kakashi's cheek, followed his cheek bone, curled around his ear, then hooked behind his neck. Sakura pulled him closer, moving forward until their chests touched. He could feel the expansion of her lungs. Without giving him the opportunity to pull away, she brushed her lips against his exposed ones. Sakura murmured Kakashi's name close enough to taste it, and he shuddered, heart leaping frantically with the desire that Sakura always sparked inside of him.

"What is it?" Sakura half-disguised the frustration in her voice, as she placed a hand on Kakashi's chest. His flak vest lay on the floor beside the couch, and the man was acutely aware that only the thin navy fabric of his shirt stood between her touch and his skin. He didn't even have mesh under armour to protect him.

Sakura's hand fisted in his shirt, and annoyance leaking into her expression. "We've been together nearly eight months, and I've known you nearly half of my life." When Kakashi frowned, she realized the poor wording and waved it off. "Okay, that wasn't the best way to phrase it. I just meant that I've known you a long time."

Kakashi's cheeks burned crimson as Sakura combed through his hair with one hand. She kissed him again, lingering on his lips then sighing softly. "I'm sure Kakashi." Her smile made his heart skip a beat, and her voice turned sultry when she kissed his neck. "I want you."

Without Kakashi's permission, his hands closed around Sakura's lower back and pulled her close. She had no problem putting words to her thoughts on their relationship, or her desire to move it to another level. Sakura's lips slid over Kakashi's neck, drawing chill bumps in their wake as she tugged the collar of his shirt aside. Warm kisses followed along the top of his shoulder. When Kakashi didn't stop her, Sakura slid her hands beneath his shirt. Cool fingers caressed muscles as she inched it higher.

It's not that different from swimming together, we've done that before, some part of Kakashi's mind tried to rationalize. There was even that one hot spring, shared between men and women. Not that he'd stayed once Sakura joined him, but she laughed and let him go. That had been after the war, before he'd become Hokage. They'd been in-

The image shattered when Sakura kissed Kakashi's chest, fingers brushing his stomach. The skin contracted away from the touch, but Kakashi couldn't bite back the moan that rose in his throat. Sakura pushed the shirt higher until he had to choose between helping her, or putting an end to things before they went too far. She tugged the garment again, and Kakashi raised his arms.

Sakura had seen Kakashi shirtless before; she worked in the hospital, after all. So, he was surprised by her reaction. Her hands explored the ridges of hardened muscle, tracing the dips and curves of his abs tentatively at first, then with growing confidence as he groaned and trembled with every brush of her fingers.

A civilian might have found the scars that crisscrossed Kakashi's skin unattractive, but as a fellow shinobi, he knew that Sakura respected the stories they told. She pressed a kiss to the top of a long, pale line that ran from almost his shoulder to his stomach on the other side. Another matching scar ran in the opposite direction, making a perfect x on Kakashi's chest, a gift from Obito during the war. Kakashi had stitched it himself before rejoining the fighting.

Sakura followed the path of the old injury between the musclest, over Kakashi's abs and toward his stomach. She had to shift positions to reach lower. Sliding her legs from beneath him, Sakura nudged Kakashi backward on the couch. Their knees touched as she brushed the scar a second time then let her hand slide through the patch of soft, silver hair below his belly button. She paused there, raising her eyes.

Kami, she's gorgeous, Kakashi thought as he met the green gaze that had stolen his heart years ago. They'd been together eight months, yes, but Kakashi had fallen for Sakura long before that. He knew that she was sure, knew that she wanted him, but he didn't know if he could do this. Sakura settled between his legs, moving back to his lips with slow, careful kisses.

Sakura joined their mouths again, and Kakashi met her desire. When they broke apart for air, she pressed her hips toward his. Kakashi bit back a moan, knowing she could feel the effect that she'd had on him. He slid his hands over her cheek, tilting her face up. "This isn't something to rush into."

"We aren't rushing," Sakura argued, kissing along his jaw. Kakashi groaned, wondering when she'd gotten so good at destroying his defenses. He could still recall their first, tentative kisses when she wasn't sure what to do. Those were a thing of the past now. Sakura knew what she wanted, had known for months, and continued to encourage Kakashi's surrender.

"I need you to be sure about this," Kakashi slid his hands through her captivating pink hair, ignoring the way Sakura's lips pursed in annoyance. "There's so many reasons we should take this slow."

When Sakura pulled back, Kakashi felt his heart clench. The last thing in the world he wanted to do was hurt her, but he could see the pain in her eyes. "I love you, Kakashi." She tucked her hair behind one ear, then sighed. "I want to be with you. I want more than this, but I can't make you want it too."

Hurt filled Sakura's voice as she stood from the couch and turned away. Fear laced Kakashi's chest as she walked toward the door. Every logical instinct told him to let her go. They were too complicated; they would always be ostracized for their age difference. He couldn't give her the kind of life she deserved. She needed someone her own age, someone full of life and hope, not haunted by the specters of his failures. Kakashi couldn't offer Sakura any of the things she deserved.

Kakashi stood and caught Sakura's wrist as she reached for her sandals. He pulled her around. "I love you too," he choked around the lump in his throat, forcing the logical arguments away. Before she could answer, before she could ask him to say anything else, Kakashi sealed their lips together.

The pair stumbled backward into the wall; Sakura's shoulders bumping into it and she dragged Kakashi closer. He didn't fight her grip, kissing Sakura with abandon to banish every ounce of empty space between them. Kakashi's fingers raced down her sides, marveling at the combination of muscle and softness in Sakura's curves. His grip traced around her back and slid lower, cupping her ass. The moan that it drew from Sakura's lips was intoxicating, as was the way Sakura allowed him to lift her. Strong legs wrapped around Kakashi's waist, and it was all he could do to move slowly.

Kakashi had given himself over to their kisses before, surrendered to the blatant desire of her touch, but this was something new. "I want you," Sakura mumbled as Kakashi lowered his lips to her neck. His hands ached to explore beneath her shirt, still uncharted territory, but they were occupied with supporting her weight. Kakashi nipped at her ear, drawing out another sound of desire. It was enough for him to abandon reason.

"Hold on," Kakashi whispered against Sakura's neck before pulling away from the wall. Her hands closed on his shoulders, and her legs tightened until her hips pressed against his when he took a step. Groaning, Kakashi carried Sakura toward his bedroom.

Sakura tightened her grip on Kakashi's hair, tilting his head back to kiss him more deeply. He stumbled, pushing the door open with one hand. Kakashi pressed one hand to Sakura's shoulders and anchored the other against her lower back, laying her gently on his bed. Before he could pull back, Sakura's hand and thighs tightened to draw Kakashi onto the mattress after her.

Kneeling above Sakura, Kakashi ran his hand down her side again. This time, however, he slid one beneath her shirt to caress the warm skin. She moaned his name, and Kakashi dipped down to kiss just above Sakura's belly button and followed the garment upward over the gentle rise and fall of her abs. She arched, trying to speed the movement, but Kakashi's weight prevented it.

As the shirt slid to Sakura's shoulders, Kakashi's heart stuttered to a halt. He rocked back to his knees, gazing down the expanse of bare skin with a blush heating his cheeks. She grinned, but Kakashi could tell that she was self conscious. Some small part of his mind wanted to chide Sakura for not wearing anything beneath her shirt; another wanted to take full advantage of the opportunity. He traced along the outside of her breasts. "Planning this?"

"Well, it wasn't like we were doing anything physical tonight." A devilish grin crossed Sakura's beautiful features before she glanced up through her eyelashes. "And, if we were, wrapping them would have only gotten in your way."

The words sent a flood of desire coursing through Kakashi's body. Sakura burst out laughing and reached up to brush her thumb above his lip. Her finger came away crimson from a nosebleed he hadn't felt. She grinned. "Want me to heal that for you?"

Kakashi dropped his head, placing light kisses around Sakura's left breast. He took the other in the palm of his hand, kneading the skin. Sakura gasped, her clever retorts lost as Kakashi's tongue followed the same path, circling inward. He brushed the skin, reveling in the way her body jumped in response. Her fingers tangled in his hair, trying to pull Kakashi to where she wanted his mouth to be. He resisted, focusing on slow, torturous sweeps of his tongue.

When Sakura writhed beneath him, trying to get more, Kakashi pulled back and grinned. "Want me to take care of that for you?"

Sakura cursed, and Kakashi knew a moment of victory before the woman's hands and legs tightened, rolling him onto his back. "You're infuriating. You know that, right?"

Kakashi's hum morphed into a groan when Sakura ground her hips against his. She kissed down his chest, torturously easing the pressure between them. Sakura paused at the button and zipper of Kakashi's pants; his breath hitched in his throat as she took her time, running a finger over the skin beneath the waistband. Kakashi exhaled with the effort of not lifting his hips as she pushed the zipper lower.

Reaching down, Kakashi ran a hand over Sakura's cheek. "We don't have to, not yet."

"I want to," Sakura mumbled, blushing. "I just, what if I'm not any good."

Kakashi didn't mean to laugh, he really didn't, but he couldn't stop himself. Sakura tightened her hands, nails pricking against his stomach so he smothered the amusement. "You tie me in knots without any of this." Kakashi kissed her forehead. "I want you to be comfortable with anything we do."

"I am," Sakura repeated, moving up to kiss Kakashi for a long moment. "I want you to be my first, Kakashi, my first, and my only."

Fear and excitement washed through Kakashi's body as he brought his lips back to Sakura's breasts. He moved toward the nipple, flicking the sensitive skin until it hardened. Sakura pushed her hips against Kakashi's when his mouth closed around the nub. He pulled back, letting the nipple slide from between his lips with a soft, wet pop then focused his ministrations on the other side. A delicious moan slid from Sakura's lips as she wrapped her arms around his head to hold him there.

Sakura's eyes shot open when Kakashi's hand dropped between her legs, massaging through the thin fabric. She arched and rocked against his palm. It was all that he could do to keep his touch slow and steady. Watching the play of emotions on her face, he slid one hand inside the stretchy black material of her pants. Sakura's hips leapt toward his hand as he brushed the fabric-was that lace? It certainly felt like lace-below.

Pushing the distracting garment to the side, Kakashi teased his fingerss over Sakura's lower lips. She whimpered his name, lost in the new experience. Kakashi extracted his hand and took Sakura's shoulders, guiding her to lie beside him. The scent of her excitement waged war on the logical part of Kakashi's brain. He exhaled and hooked his fingers in her pants, drawing them down to reveal black lace underneath. Kakashi trailed warm kisses over Sakura's panties, and her hips bucked up toward his mouth.

"Easy," Kakashi murmured, marveling at the beauty that was Sakura's body. Her scent was overwhelming when he captured her eager hips. "Slow down, and trust me."

Nodding, Sakura stilled underneath Kakashi. He breathed against her skin, drinking in every shudder and twitch. When he kissed across the lace hard enough to conform the fabric to the skin beneath, Sakura's hand clenched in the beeding. It took most of Kakashi's considerable strength to hold her steady as he pushed the panties to the side. "I like these," he murmured.

Sakura's response was lost in a moan when Kakashi's tongue parted her lips and brushed the sensitive, pink skin between them. The woman's evident excitement suffused Kakashi's senses, and her desperate gasps added fuel to the fire growing in his stomach. Gazing up at the beautiful arch of Sakura's back, Kakashi circled the bundle of nerves at the top of her slit. Sakura bit down on her fist, holding back the cries of pleasure.

"I want to hear you," Kakashi breathed, pulling back for air. He released her hips, letting them move as she dropped the hand away from her mouth. Sakura threw her head back with an expletive when Kakashi slid a finger into her warmth. Driven by the sound, he pushed his tongue between her lips. His name tangled in her throat when his curled finger sent jolts of pleasure through her body.

"Please, Kashi-oh Kami, please," Sakura's cries rose another octave, and her hips bucked toward Kakashi's mouth. His body rutted against the mattress in desperation for her touch.

Sakura's world shattered with a cry of Kakashi's name. She tried to close her legs around his head as she came, but he continued the lazy passage of his tongue as she whimpered on the edge of painful pleasure. Rather than leaving his lover to freefall through the orgasm, Kakashi replaced his fingers with his mouth, lapping at her excitement. Sakura gasped. "Please. Ohhh, fuck, stop. I can't—."

Kakashi obeyed this time, pulling back to watch the delicate shudders passing through Sakura's body. She twitched and writhed as he moved beside her, placing lazy kisses along her shoulder. Rolling onto her side, Sakura captured Kakashi's lips. She rolled him to his back and set about removing his boxers. He grunted when her hand rubbed over his erection, and his hips jerked forward despite his efforts to stop them.

Regardless of everything they'd already done, Kakashi's cheeks warmed when the cool air ran over his bare skin. Sakura's eyes roved across his body before flicking back to Kakashi's face. He brushed a hand through her hair. "You don't have to," he assured her. "You never have to do anything you don't want to."

"I know," Sakura murmured, trailing her fingers over the hard length before closing a hand around him. As desperate as Kakashi was for the touch, he grimaced.

"Gently," Kakashi encouraged, and the fingers fell away.

Sakura frowned and blew out an exasperated breath. "This is harder than I thought."

"That's usually the idea." For the second time, Kakashi couldn't stop the laughter that rose in his throat. Seeing Sakura's expression, he sobered. "Here, let me help."

Kakashi pushed himself to recline against the pillows, half sitting up. He invited Sakura to touch him again. When the woman wrapped her hand around him, Kakashi closed his grip over hers, adjusting her fingers. Kakashi moved, encouraging Sakura into a steady rhythm. After a few moments, his heart rate increased, and his fingers tightened. He guided Sakura's thumb to the head. Kakashi's control slipped, and he thrust toward the combined pressure of their hands and closed his eyes.

Having gained confidence under Kakashi's touch, Sakura set the pace. Her movement drew soft moans from his lips. Kakashi's eyes shot open when her tongue swirled against the head of his cock. He managed a gasp of Sakura's name when her lips closed around him. Her mouth was devastatingly warm.

Sakura's hand pumped a couple of times, less certain without guidance. She reached out and caught Kakashi's fingers, guiding them lower. Taking the meaning, Kakashi stroked himself to free Sakura to focus on the pressure of her mouth. He grunted when her tongue pressed against the slit. If Kakashi had ever missed the sharingan, it was now. The image of Sakura's head bobbing up and down on him was one that Kakashi would have liked to have kept forever. The combination of his familiar touch and exotic feeling of her mouth nearly drove him over the edge.

"Stop," Kakashi gasped, dropping his hand to the bed. Sakura's replaced it. He cried out her name, hips thrusting toward her mouth. The movement shocked her into pausing, which allowed Kakashi to grasp at the vestiges of his self-control. "Stop," he repeated, voice trembling.

Kakashi felt Sakura's pout when he kissed her. "I wanted to-"

Sakura lost her complaint when Kakashi's fingers slid between her legs again. The dampness revealed how much she wanted him to continue. "You already have me," Kakashi interrupted, hooking his fingers in Sakura's panties to draw them down her legs. "All of me."

Running his hands under Sakura's thighs, Kakashi positioned himself between her legs. He brushed his cock against her core. The slippery warmth made it difficult to remember to go slow. "We need protection," Kakashi hissed, shocked that he'd let it get this far without thinking of that.

Hooking a hand behind Kakashi's neck, Sakura pulled him into a heated kiss. "It's fine," she breathed, shifting her body so his cock rubbed against her clit. "I've been taking birth control for months, waiting for you to be ready."

Sakura's kiss deepened, encouraging Kakashi to forget his questions and doubts. He didn't need convincing, they were both breathless and flushed with desire. Gripping himself in one hand, Kakashi rubbed the tip between Sakura's lips. Sakura watched him with a mix of apprehension and excitement. "If you want to stop-"

"Then, I'll fucking tell you," Sakura growled, raising her hips to encircle Kakashi. She threw her head back on the pillow with another curse, and he forced himself to be still. The warmth of Sakura nearly overwhelmed him, even when he was only partially inside her. Fingers tightened on Kakashi's back, nails digging into the skin as he slid back. He pushed forward a second time, and Sakura buried her face in his shoulder.

Kakashi confined himself to slow and steady movements, even when Sakura's moans argued against the patient approach he was trying to take. She kissed his shoulder and nipped at the curve where it met his neck. The next thrust carried Kakashi completely inside of Sakura. The woman cried out, biting down on his shoulder as he paused. Pushing back, Kakashi parted Sakura's lips and found her clit. She whimpered as he started to move. If there was pain, the pleasure outweighed it. Sakura pulled Kakashi's hips down with every thrust.

All at once, Sakura came undone under Kakashi's hands. Her walls tightened and she arched into his chest, pushing his hand from between her legs. Kakashi continued as the muscles rippled around him, encouraging her orgasm to last longer. When it faded, he started to draw back. Sakura pulled Kakashi close and kissed him with abandon. Her hips rose and fell, encouraging Kakashi to continue. He surrendered.

Heat spread through Kakashi's veins like fire. Sakura pushed him toward completion, and he let himself be driven. The tension built to a physical pain below his stomach, tight and aching. Then, it snapped. Three frantic hitches of his hips later, and Kakashi collapsed against Sakura. Every muscle in his body felt like it had turned to liquid.

Kakashi rolled to the side, removing the weight from Sakura's chest. He traced a thumb over her sweat damp cheek. "Are you okay?"

Sakura nodded, squeezing her legs shut as she fought to steady her breath. Kakashi willed his heart rate to slow, too exhausted to focus on anything but the gentle red flush on Sakura's cheek. "I love you," he murmured.

"I love you too." Sakura was silent for a few minutes, then pushed into a sitting position. Kakashi startled from his half sleep to blink at her in confusion. She smiled. "Do you mind if I use your shower?"

Kakashi nodded toward the bathroom. "Of course not. You know where it is."

Sakura slid out of the bed and walked across the room, hips swaying more than they needed to. She paused at the doorway and glanced over her shoulder. "You know, I think two people can fit in your shower, if we get creative."

The words trailed off invitingly, and Kakashi wished he was ten years younger. He chuckled and tossed off the blankets that he'd pulled around himself, then crossed the room and took Sakura into his arms. He kissed her long and thoroughly. Smoothing a hand down her back, he gave her ass a squeeze. "You're going to kill me, you know that, right?"

Sakura grinned. "And, you'll enjoy every minute of it."

[sepublic]

Unpopular King Opinion

           Unpopular opinion I’m about to repeat AGAIN; But King actually has a lot more depth and nuance than people give him credit for, and he has that depth regardless of whether or not he was an actual king of demons or has some mysterious, all-powerful backstory or whatnot. If we look at him just as-is, at face-value, with what we actually have in canon, no speculation; King IS a very interesting character, actually, with a surprising amount of darkness!

           There’s the parallels with Lilith that I’ve brought up in the past. King is a very artistic individual who wants glory and recognition, but on his own terms; He wants to be appreciated for stuff he cares about and feels he has agency in, not because he’s superficially adorable or anything! But at the same time, King DOES want to be coddled and cared for, given a sort of childhood he never really got- But he just wants some respect and agency with that as well, is that too much to ask for?

           And that fits with how Luz babies him, but in a way that respects and listens to King’s requests, taking heed of his advice and lessons; Eda treats them both with respect and a proper level of accountability, while also protecting them because they’re both kids who don’t deserve that. This contrasts with Amity who’s kind of forced to grow up and is superficially taken seriously, but on the downside, she’s severely emotionally stunted and feels like she has to do all of the heavy-lifting for herself and others, by herself.

           King is kind of coming to age in his own way like Luz, learning to take accountability and responsibility for his mistakes, as part of that quest to be taken seriously and respected, while still getting to be treated kindly and looked after, and then looking after Luz by himself occasionally. He wants power and control, but he sometimes has issues with the responsibility that comes with that, with demanding attention from Luz in Really Small Problems, and how King has to step up to his alleged leadership role by owning up to his mistakes, how we see him be a great teacher at Hexside for a day. 

          We see him start as a terrible teacher in I was a Teenage Abomination, before he improves in The Intruder, and by The First Day he can win the hearts of an entire class of teenagers, kids he once thought were terrifying after Once Upon a Swap- But who he grew to better understand thanks to his experience in Luz’s body, as well as learning to understand Luz herself and be a better person to her! Even when his fears of judgment aren’t fully conquered during Grom, no thanks to Eda’s own personal experiences and warnings- Gus manages to encourage King’s eventual confidence to speak out!

           King’s got a disconnect with Luz and Eda in that both are only really demonized or looked down upon, as criminals and troublemakers, a cursed witch and a human, dehumanized… While King has been mostly fetishized, but that too is also dehumanizing, reducing him to a prop and a toy, a doll and a pet; One that people like Roselle, Dottie, Tibbles, and Boscha think they can just buy and own without permission. Just a cute animal to own and be carried by his collar by say Lilith, who also dehumanizes Luz as another one of Eda’s ‘pets’.

           And as I said, that disconnect about being fetishized and seemingly ‘wanted’, to Eda who was cursed and ostracized and seen only as a monstrous freak; It means she doesn’t quite understand and even downplays King’s issues with that, which it’s why it’s important she literally walks in his shoes during Once Upon a Swap, that Eda realizes that being fetishized isn’t fun either, that her and King both just want respect and agency and to be treated by people with their own agency, and not like, say, someone’s younger troublemaker of a sibling who doesn’t understand what she’s getting into, as Lilith sometimes feels about her.

           Likewise, King has issues with feeling outpaced and left behind by others, we see it literally happen in Covention and Really Small Problems. And this inferiority complex makes King convince himself that it’s okay if he acts against his friends, THEY can easily handle a minor loss or two when they’ve got so many wins under their belt, when they’re much farther ahead; King just wants to catch up, to be on equal footing with them! And he IS, Luz and Eda do respect and care for him, even if they sometimes forget to, but it doesn’t justify King working behind their backs, using Eda’s owl-beast form to get revenge on a toddler, or taking the credit for Luz’s work and even trying to make her friends disappear.

           He’s got very artistic inclinations, if King were a witch he’d easily be a Bard AND Beastkeeper at least, maybe in Abominations as well! It provides a sense of control over mindless, obedient people… But honestly, I don’t think King is THAT obsessed with power. He just wants to feel in charge when for so long he’s just been brushed aside, ignored, and talked over. When he’s in a good environment and feels safe and in control to a reasonable degree, I don’t think King would actually care for an army to command as much, if at all.

           I’ll say it again, but it’s hilariously meta that people ignore King’s depth and personhood, his individuality often, and just boil him down to the cute pet, a borderline shallow mascot; Just another pretty face, a garnish to a more important criminal like Eda on her Wanted Poster, or as Luz’s little furry animal companion and sidekick. That’s what the characters in-universe do… And it’s what the fandom kind of does, in a sense? People in-universe don’t even have the luxury of getting to know King intimately as an audience member.

           …Mind you, I STILL love adorable King fanart and memes to death! I am not at all trying to fault anyone who doesn’t recognize King’s depth this way, I can see why you’d miss it in a sense, and I’m not implying that anyone is somehow a ‘bad person’, or a ‘fake fan’, or whatever, for not considering this a lot more. You do you, and I’m not saying it’s a personal requirement that people intimately discuss and consider King, I will always enjoy the cute fanart and depictions of King, the Incorrect Quotes, all that stuff! I just kinda wish we could have that, AND more acknowledgement of King…

           So I want BOTH things, so even if I’m missing out on one- I’m definitely going to enjoy the other, and it’s okay if one wants to as well! Go ahead, enjoy King as you please, guilt-free… I just wanted to get this out there, and anyhow, I’M not the boss of anyone, it’s not like I can tell anyone else how to engage with this show, its characters, or the fandom through the content that’s produced! I’m just another fan and viewer.

[aperfecttimeforscreaming]

10 reasons why a poorly adjusted adult Dib is a Valid headcanon

1. Dib is/was a neglected child

Dib doesn’t have a parent that he can lean on and go talk to for advice, his father is frequently out of the picture and doesn’t give a shit about the thing that Dib cares about. Dib is actively encouraged by his neglectful father to give up on it, actually. I believe this would make Dibs stubborn streak really bitter and spiteful. Most people reading this are LGBTQ+, I assume I don’t need to explain how a fucked up an isolated upbringing, or being unable to be yourself around a parent, hurts you in the long run. 

2. Dib is bullied for the things he is passionate about, and being bullied heavily colours your perception of other people 

The world of Invader Zim is not kind, Dib is frequently harassed by his classmates/superiors/family for his outbursts/lectures/overall investigator shtick. 

Now you might say “but, Screaming, wouldn’t Dib learn to tone it down as he got older?” and YEAH. Probably! But does that mean that he would just forgive all the people that made his life horrible before that point? Or who socially ostracized him for the things he’d done in the past? No. No one is under any  obligation to forgive anyone who hurt them, and I think Dib wouldn’t even try to forgive someone he saw as intellectually inferior 

3. Dib is a selfish rich kid

Dib is selfish. He wants to be the protector of earth- but he doesn’t do it for earths sake. He’s clearly doing it as a cry for attention/ a reason to eventually be vindicated for being spit on by his own kind.  I don’t think he would have genuine empathy for other people. If he did have it, it’d have to be something he had to work really hard at. However, I don’t see Dib putting much effort into understanding other humans. 

Dib is rich (probably). This one being more of a headcanon- in the series Dib wants for no material object, he wastes technology on his explorations like it’s something he can just pick up from the dollar store, his father is a world renowned scientist with access to crazy technology and the ears of world leaders. I think he’d feel entitled to one or two things 

4. Gaz is not her brothers keeper. 

She’s not responsible for his mental health, she’s not responsible for keeping him in line and “normal”. Most of the time she doesn’t want a damn thing to do with him. If we’re going by the standards of the IZ tv show, the only times that Gaz interfered with Dibs paranormal investigations were when Professor M. Was also involved. Either she wanted to see her dad and Dibs antics were getting in the way (forcing her to intervene), or she was directly ordered by their dad to keep Dib out of trouble.  Sure, you could argue that she would beat the shit out of Dib for doing something she didn’t like- but that wouldn’t “fix” the mind of a very stubborn person. It might even make them dig their heels in even deeper out of spite and bitterness as a “fuck you I’m right you’re wrong” 

Furthermore, as Gaz gets older she’s going to have her own life to worry about and might stop tolerating the way Prof. M uses her as a middle man to deal with his “poor insane son”. She’s under no obligation to fix any of the phases Dibs life might go through. If Dib was unpleasant enough, and Gaz had the resources to leave, I think she might just bail on him. 

5. Dib is arrogant 

He's gonna do what he thinks is the best course of action unless you physically stop him from doing so. He comes from a place of thinking that he is right, the opinion of anyone else is secondary. Dib will do “what needs to be done” for “the greater good”. Whatever he thinks that “good” is. He wants to play the white knight at any cost. He cannot be in the wrong, or that bravado towards being righteous in the end crumbles. I think Dib would subscribe to a “the ends justify the means” mentality

6. Dib would harm another person to get what he wanted

In a room with a moose, Dib debates letting himself die just to take his entire class down with him. In the unaired episode “return of Keef”, he co-operates with Zim in an attempt to make Keef explode, because he thinks Keef is irritating. Dib used Gaz to test out an ancient spell book, cursed Gaz to only taste pork, and then only helped fix the problem when threatened with physical violence. This could be the kind of thinking that gets worse over time as more people mock his attempts to save and protect them. Why care about people that don’t even give a shit if they live or die?  Dib is a smart fringe personality in his world, and the otherness that he feels for that could lead to a sociopathic way of thinking if things went bad enough 

7. Dib does not care about other peoples personal space

Dib hides cameras in Zims house. Dib ran right past the front gate at NASA Place, Dib chased a baby big foot up a radio tower. Dib bullied Zim physically on the playground using his known weaknesses against him. Dib would do anything to get the evidence he needed to prove what he wanted to prove, and that would get him in trouble. Repeatedly

8. Antisocial tendencies (like spending countless hours fused to a chair, or most of your young adult life spent hunched over a desk at a computer screen) make it difficult to smoothly socially integrate, and the world of Invader Zim is fuckin' mean

You know the world he comes from is mean. However, assuming Dib did find community somewhere, who’s to say they would agree with him? Or like him? Maybe one of them would cause problems for him that were bad enough he’d have to leave. I’ve always found that the IZ portrayal of earth to be like this funny cynical parody of a dystopian police state america. If we’re going by “what can go wrong will go wrong”, Dibs social integration wouldn’t get easier without a bunch of effort on Dibs part. Maybe Dib would have to pretend to be somebody unlike himself just to get by in his day to day adult life. If we see Dibs country of residence as a police state, the world Dib grows up in would encroach heavily on his personal privacy, and that might make him even stranger via paranoia 

9. Sadistic tendencies towards anything paranormal (obsessed with the act of dominating and exposing the unknown)

Dib is a fucking jerk to Zim (rightfully so), but Dib is a dick to pretty much every supernatural thing he comes across. Either out of an excess of enthusiasm, or using a supernatural being to further his own plans, or from an invasion of privacy, or being an irritant to the entity he’s dealing with. He LIKES to be mean to them.  He  wishes to have mastery over knowing how they work. (maybe it’s more fair to say Dib is a voyeur?)  

This is more headcanon than anything, but I don’t think it’s a stretch to say he might also want to control the paranormal for his own purposes. If Dib could say- catch a ghost in a jar so he could show it to everyone, he’d do it. If he could trick a werewolf into transforming on stage in front of a large audience? He’d do that.

10. Dib is created to be Zims equal

Dib is as “evil” as Zim is and vice versa. Neither of them is good, or pure, or morally justified. It’s a nice little grey dynamic. Both characters think they’re entirely in the right when they act. That they often aren’t in the right is fun because then you get to write/draw/ think about how they’d react to the consequences. Dib could still totally be a hero in his own mind, despite setting an apartment block on fire to flush out a coven of litches.

The reverse of this is also true, Zim can do nice things, and occasionally be good as Dib can be good. I figure the Zim/Dib dynamic changes for everyones interpretations at least somewhat. Having Zims terrible actions rub off on Dib as their battles escalate is a really fun way to go about exploring their relationship 

11. I like the it

There is no right or wrong way to enjoy a cartoon character! Live to make yourself happy in fandom! If you ever thought you needed permission to create rancid content, I’m sorry you felt pressured not to do it. 

You want to make a serial killer Dib?? You want to make a basement dwelling depressed zit covered Dib?? You want to make a Dib who struggles with his trauma through substance abuse?? Go HAM!!