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allylikethecat · 9 months

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hellooooo ally!! i have officially read it’s christmas (so this is gonna be a nightmare) twice lucky me!!! what a treat!!! i have so many thoughts and feelings about the fic you don’t understand how much i love the trope/concept of fic!matty not being liked or accepted by people outside the band because of his “quirks” (serious and personal mental health/ addiction issues) because it’s just so unfair. perfect angst and also very realistic???? being written off as Bad News because he experiences hardships that are more scary and extreme than most people?? so wonderfully devastating and very real.

you aren’t allowed to apologise for the fic not being finished. you’ve done it to every other ask but i’m putting my foot down. no apology please!!! releasing it in parts just builds suspense anyways i love it.

now for the clumsy partner prompts!!! thankyou sooooo much for reblogging the list i feel very blessed. i’d like to request gatty 15, 16, 17 and 18 (they are all pretty similar so you could maybe combine some in one blurb? but obviously im not telling you how to write do whatever calls to you i just feel bad for requesting so many at once😅)

as always have a lovely rest of your day and i’m really looking forward to whatever you post next!!! love ya😇🩷

Hello! Thank you so, so, so much for reading the first bit of the Christmas fic not only once but TWICE! I hope it's lived up to the hype even if it's not finished yet. Poor Fictional!Matty just wants his future in laws to like him, because he's not the same person he was when he was in his early twenties, he's worked on himself and deserves to be given a chance! Also I will not apologize for the fic not being finished by Christmas as requested even though I am sorry that I didn't finish it - it will hopefully be finished by the end of January at the latest!

Also!! thank you so much for not only suggesting the clumsy partner prompts to me, but also sending in this prompt request! I wanted to challenge myself a little bit, so I actually (I think!) managed to weave all four of them into one fill! Let me know what you think! If this wasn't what you were looking for, let me know and I will rewrite them! (If anyone else wants to send in any prompts, the list can be found HERE)

Thank you so much for reading and sending in this ask and for always just being so lovely and wonderful and supportive! I'm so sorry that it's taken me a minute to get to some of your other prompt requests as well! I hope you enjoy this one though and I look forward to hearing your thoughts! Thank you again!!

❤️Ally

15. “I’m sorry I’m so much trouble, really.”

“Shhh, stop it. You're no trouble at all, zero.”

16. Their partner sometimes feeling that their clumsy tendencies ruin everything and them, actually finding it endearing. They are sure to let their partner know they love it.

17. “Oh, I don’t want to mess it up.”

“You won’t mess it up, go on and give it a try.”

18. Makes it clear to their partner and anyone on the outside that just because they’re worried, doesn’t mean that their partner needs them or depends on them. It’s simply their partner allowing them to do the things that make them comfortable because they’re always worrying.

Matty knew he wasn’t the most coordinated person on the face of the Earth. He was always tripping over his feet, his head in the clouds as he bumped into things and other people, stumbling over curbs and spilling cups of coffee. George always had bandages in his backpack, and an extra Matty-sized shirt for when an inevitable incident occurred. His knees were permanently bruised and his palms forever scrapped. Despite George’s endless patience, and “I’ll kiss it betters” Matty wanted to die each time they were late for a meeting because Matty ate it in the parking lot.

He had been horrible at sports as a child, his limbs never seeming to want to move the way he directed them, despite not being very large he felt like he had never properly grown into his body and developed the spacial awareness and grace that George seemed to carry. He had tried yoga but just grew frustrated at the disconnect he felt from his physical form and had quickly given up, citing some bullshit about not subscribing to George’s crunchy granola agenda. They both knew he was spouting nonsense.

Thanks to Matty, they were going to be twenty minutes late to their first fully staged rehearsal for the new tour. Matty was so careful focusing on his footfalls, holding his Starbucks cup away from his body so it wouldn’t splash onto his white tee shirt. He wasn’t even wearing his airpods, he was making sure he was aware of his surroundings George until he tripped on a crack in the sidewalk. He managed to not only spill his coffee down his entire front, but bang his elbow on the cement so that it was now bleeding sluggishly. Matty sat on his ass in a puddle of coffee trying to comprehend what just happened while George looked on in mild horror.

“Are you alright?” George asked softly, voice thick with concern as he helped pull Matty to his feet, careful of his bleeding elbow, scarlet splatter bright against the white coffee stained fabric of his shirt.

“I’m fine,” Matty said, his lower lip wobbling in frustration. He wanted to pull away from George’s grasp but wasn’t sure his shaking knees would support him on his own. His elbow stung and he wanted to cry in frustration. If he couldn’t walk down the street, how was he ever supposed to handle thirty nine North American tour dates?

Today was supposed to be a good day, Matty thought hysterically, an important day, and as per usual not only were they late, it was his fault.

“Hey,” said George, tugging Matty into his arms, pressing a kiss to the top of his head. “It’s okay, you’re okay. Let’s go get you patched up, I think I have an extra shirt in my bag.”

Because of course he had an extra shirt, because he knew that Matty couldn’t be expected to walk normally like an adult without spilling something. Matty should have woken up earlier and drank his coffee at home, sitting safely at the kitchen table. George led him through the doors of the venue they were renting for rehearsal space, flashing their credentials to the security guard and following the signs in the hallway to lead him straight to the bathroom.

“I’m sorry,” said Matty, his voice wet, fuck he really was about to start crying, as George helped him sit up on the lip of the sink so that he could clean his elbow with a damp brown paper towel. “I’m sorry I’m so much trouble, really.”

“Shhh, stop it.” said George, pulling away so that he could look Matty in the eyes. “You're no trouble at all, zero.”

“But I’m always tripping over myself and ruining things,” Matty said with a sniffle.

George threw the paper towel away and pulled a box of bandages and a small tube of antibiotic ointment out of his backpack. He dabbed the ointment gently against Matty’s scraped skin with a careful kindness that made Matty’s heart hurt. He didn’t deserve George.

“It’s kind of cute,” George said quietly, after a moment, Matty swallowing a hiss of pain as the scrap stung. “Like obviously, I don’t like it when you get hurt, it makes me quite nervous actually, but you’re cute, like a baby deer discovering they have legs for the first time.”

“A baby deer?” Matty asked, raising his eyebrow amongst the pain, his eyes still wet even as he tried to force a smile.

“The cutest baby deer,” said George with a small grin, smoothing the bandage over Matty’s elbow before leaning down to press a kiss to the plaster.

Matty just snorted in response, and hopped off the counter, pretending he didn’t notice the way George was hovering at his side, ready to reach out and grab him in case something went wrong.

“Thanks,” he said, taking the offered black tee shirt from George and pulling off the now stained white one he was wearing. He pretended not to notice the way George was blatantly checking out his chest and stomach as if he didn’t see him naked on a daily basis.

“It’s nice of you to join us,” said Ross smirking, “Even if you’re never beating the diva allegations, Healy.” Matty sighed dramatically when they finally joined the group in front of the stage, his eyes going wide as he took in his vision come to life.

“I had a little mishap in the parking lot,” he admitted sheepishly, holding out his now bandaged elbow for Ross and Adam to see.

“You’ve got to be more careful mate,” said Adam, ruffling Matty’s hair as they sat down on the sofa that had been brought into the space, and went over the stage show with Tobias.

“I want to cut the song on the roof,” Matty said quietly after a moment, when the time came in the first run through for him to put on a harness and climb up onto the roof portion of their set. The music stopped as Matty chewed on his lower lip nervously.

George blinked, that was a segment that Matty had been dead set on, and excited to perform, having chattered about the visual implications of doing so and how it furthered the story for weeks.

“What?” George asked his expression of concern and confusion mirrored on Ross and Adam’s faces as well.

“Oh, I don’t want to mess it up.” Matty said softly with a shrug, “I’m so clumsy I’ll probably fall off the roof and traumatize our fan base or something.”

“You won’t mess it up,” George assured him even if Ross and Adam looked skeptical. “Go on and give it a try.”

Matty opened his mouth as if to argue but George just shook his head. “No, go on, try it out, there is a whole team of people that are going to make sure you’re okay, and you’ll have the harness so even if you do slip, you won’t fall far.”

Matty swallowed hard but nodded, having needed the extra push from George, to disappear into the makeshift backstage.

“You sure this is a good idea?” Ross asked quietly, stepping away from his microphone to make sure Matty didn’t hear him. “I was worried about it when he was all excited about it, but now if he’s even having second thoughts...”

George shrugged, fiddling with one of the drum sticks. “I’m worried, obviously,” George said, “but that doesn’t mean I shouldn’t support him, he wanted to do the song on the roof, so we should at least try the song on the roof, there are foot holes, and handles up there, plus he has a harness on to make sure even if he does fall he won’t fall far.”

“You’re a better man than me,” said Adam, “I’d have Carly wrapped in bubble wrap if she was as accident prone as Matty.”

George shrugged, smiling when he looked up and saw Matty waving from the roof, before flashing a thumbs up.

“We’re partners,” George reminded him, “and that means working together as a team.”

#allylikethecat #ask ally #keep it kind #fanfiction #matty fic #gatty #fanfic #prompt fill #prompt fills #clumsy partner prompts #clumsy partner prompt fills #clumsy partner prompt fill #thank you so much again for sending in this list #and also requesting these prompts #and all of your kind words about my writing #you're so lovely and supportive and i am so very grateful #thank you so much!

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deancaspinefest · 2 years

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Everything's Fine

Author: butterflyslinky | Artist: DeanCodedCasNB Posting on Friday March 3

Dean has been offered his dream job: Personal Assistant to Editor-in-Chief Castiel Novak. Unfortunately, his boyfriend Michael has other plans for their futures.

Keep reading for a sneak preview!

Castiel barely glanced up as Hannah knocked on his office door. “What?” She walked in, ignoring his curt tone, stepping around the clutter of papers and boxes all over the floor. “Just letting you know we’ve hired a new assistant for you. He starts in January.” “Another one? You know I hate having assistants.” “And you know you can’t do literally everything yourself. Don’t worry, this one seems better.” Castiel sighed and leaned away from his computer to actually look at her. “Fine, tell me about him.” Hannah moved a stack of files off the other chair and sat down. “Dean Winchester. KU, English Lit. Just out of school so you can train him how you like. He was very sensitive in the interview, and very charming…polite, but with a good amount of sass. Seems like a good snap-to little soldier anyway.” “Come on, Hannah. What am I even supposed to do with an assistant?” “Have him screen your mail and calls, grab you lunch, set up meetings, make sure nothing off the slush pile somehow makes its way to you without vetting…normal stuff.” “I enjoy seeing the shit from the bottom of the slush pile.” “You don’t have time for it, Castiel. You’re editor-in-chief now, you have actual responsibilities. And you need someone to help you organize this place” “I know, I know…shouldn’t have accepted the promotion if I don’t want to be the boss.” Castiel rubbed his eyes. “Yeah, well, this is why you don’t listen to the fuckwit who keeps pressuring you to rise above the point where you’re happy so he can squeeze more cash out of you. I mean, you’re a mess…you’re exhausted, you’re snappish, you’re three sentences away from offending our top author. You need someone to help lighten this load, and you’ve failed miserably at keeping anyone on board to do that.” Castiel sighed. Hannah was right, of course. The only reason he’d taken the promotion was because his last boyfriend had pressured him into it. But Bart was gone now, having ditched Castiel for some rich Broadway producer, leaving Castiel with nothing but a way-too-big apartment and several maxed out credit cards. Both of which meant Castiel couldn’t take a voluntary demotion, leaving him stuck in a job he hated. Okay, maybe not hated. Castiel did like some aspects of being the head editor. The corner office and salary were nice, and it was good to have the final say on what was published. But it also meant talking to a lot more business people than he liked, and that he missed the more fun but terrible books on the slush pile. Not that he would ever let those go out the door, but reading them was the best entertainment he’d ever had. And worst of all were the assistants. Castiel had only been in the job for a year, but he had already gone through four of them. He felt a little bit bad about it; it wasn’t like any of his previous assistants had been bad people. But none of them had been especially helpful to him, getting in his way more often than not, or messing up his routines too much for him to function. He hadn’t even fired all of them; the last one had quit because she thought he was too particular about things. Which he was, but it wasn’t something he could help. And now there was a new one he’d have to try and train. “Try to go easy on this one,” Hannah said. “He’s moving all the way here from Kansas, so it will be very expensive for both him and the company if you only keep him for three months.” “Fine,” Castiel said. “Can I get the resume?” “Right here.” She handed him a single sheet of paper. Castiel skimmed it quickly. The kid didn’t seem that special; a BA in English and several years working on and off as a mechanic. No clerical experience to speak of, but Castiel figured that could be a good thing. If Dean didn’t have experience, it meant he didn’t have any bad habits to break. “He just graduate?” he asked. “Back in May, yes…so he’s very young, even compared to you. I thought that would be easier if you do decide to fire him immediately.” “Fine, fine.” Castiel set the paper aside. “That all? I have a mountain of drafts to approve.” “That and your mother called the front desk again to ask if you’d consider joining her for Christmas. I told her to call your cell phone, and she told me you never answer it.” “Because she only wants me there so she can set me up with whatever nice girl she’s found now. So tell her I’m busy.” “That’s another reason you need an assistant,” Hannah said. “But until Dean arrives, you can tell her yourself.”

[continue reading on Ao3 on Friday March 3]

#Destiel Fic #Destiel Art #Destiel Fanworks #DeanCas Fic #DeanCas Art #DeanCas Fanworks #Pinefest Previews #2023 Dean/Cas Pinefest #Author: butterflyslinky #Artist: PetraAmia #Identity Confusion #Domestic Violence #Goose Girl Retelling

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despair-to-future-arcs · 5 months

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(wacks the anon before in the back of the head) Can it you! Back to the subject. What happened next?

Yeah, we should move on - honestly I felt like I got a lot off my chest and I was pretty happy about it...

But then we were told that will never get any careers with our talents so Yukio had offer to help find us some.

But picturing myself not being a mechanic is hard to do, like I been tinkering with machines ever since I was a kid, what can do? And Yukio did come up with a few suggestions...

USAMI: Oh really? Like what...?

...Hm.

...

Date: January 17th, 2012

*looking over the paper* It seems you put down that you only had interest in just cars and broken machines, are you sure you don't have anything else?

Yeah as say before, I only done was tinker with machines and not much else...

So do you have any idea what I can do? I mean I still love being a mechanic so it's hard to imagine myself doing anything else.

Well I can think of a few; what about computers or IT, they are related to machines...

Or maybe even working with cell phones? I think that be a good choice too given how often Japan relies on them!

I mean... maybe? Honestly I'm not sure...

C'mon Kazuichi, I know it's hard to want to change careers but y'know what the Steering Committee say? You won't have any futures with your current talents, you need to change them.

And why the hell do we have to change, maybe they should change instead?! I mean they are suppose to be this symbol of hope or whatever but why should we change and they don't have t-!

...Kazuichi.

O-Oh uh... sorry, I...I didn't mean to yell...

I just... I think it's unfair that we have to change while the school doesn't want to and considering the parade going on outside, I just...I just find it unfair, y'know?

I know and honestly I do wonder how Nagi's gonna handle them.

But don't worry, will be sure to find you a career Kazuichi, I promise!

Heh, yeah... man Yukio, you really are helping us despite how we all acted I mean you really encourage all of us to find a better path and work towards it; I bet whatever future you get, I can tell people will look up to you...

...Future?

Ye-Yeah... I guess so, anyway I think we are done here; I'll speak with you next time, Kazuichi.

#dr #danganronpa #dtfa #despair to future arc #ds:rw #despair side: re write #ds ep 9 #sdr2 #super danganronpa 2 #kazuichi souda #yukio miyahira #anonymous

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digitalmarketingph · 8 months

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Digital Marketing in 2024

How's the current online landscape?

Been on hiatus because I took up part-time work as a social media planner and marketing consultant for a local brand. Also did a side hustle not related to digital marketing (well, maybe a bit for sales) which I will shamelessly plug now lol: https://www.facebook.com/pandalick https://www.instagram.com/pandalick.ph/ http://bit.ly/pandalick

Anyway, what seems to be the landscape on digital now so far? As of writing (January 19, 2024), here are some I've noticed and researched too which hopefully may help you in your digital efforts.

Google Lays Off 100 Employees Freshly announced, what a way to start the year, right? I hope those employees can find new work soon.

It is said that the reason was "to trim costs and bureaucracy as it embraces artificial intelligence." The New York Times article also states that "YouTube has struggled to fully recover from an advertising slowdown in the past year and has contended with strong competition from TikTok, the short-video service popular with younger users."

Although YouTube came up with Shorts to match TikTok (even Facebook and Instagram with Reels), the younger generation has cemented themselves in TikTok. Of course, the developer itself continued and continues to optimize itself to avoid being a "one-hit wonder" among mobile apps (like the sad case of Bondee.)

But as an online marketer, how does this kind of news affect you? If you rely heavily on YouTube for marketing, it's best to explore TikTok since this kind of effect already shows that there is great potential in marketing on that platform. If future bugs occur on YouTube, at least you have already explored and planted yourself in TikTok. But of course, you need to analyze and strategize first if your industry fits such a platform. Otherwise, your efforts will just be a waste.

Google Helpful Content Update A major search engine algorithm rollout that started Sept 14, 2023 (took 14 days to roll out so ended Sept 28), the HCU is described by Google as "generates a signal used by our automated ranking systems to better ensure people see original, helpful content created for people in search results." Google also ensures that "If you're producing helpful content, then you don't need to do anything; in fact, this system may be good for your site, as it is designed to reward helpful content."

It is what it is so like this blog, Digital Marketing Course PH, which doesn't primarily aim for SEO rankings but rather, to provide helpful content, I won't be affected by such a rollout. My domain may seem SEO-keyword-driven (I even got a request to not renew payment so some other SEO/agency could take it I presume lol) and it partially is but it's just something direct, straight to the point as to what this whole blog/site is about. It's also a cheap price compared to other provided selection so I chose it. LOL!

For SEOs/website owners, I would suggest focusing on quality and in-depth content moving forward thanks to this rollout, rather than producing quantity (daily or weekly). I know agencies tend to use quantity as their service/package, but maybe it's time to rethink your SEO service packages to clients. SEO is an investment and you are the experts rather than the client so best to explain this to them. SEO is like planting, it would need time and nourishment for it to grow and bear fruit. SEO is different from SEM (instant results but paid) after all.

Artificial Intelligence (AI) The topic is expansive but since this blog niche is digital marketing, let's best focus on that. Google earlier announced that it laid off workers to embrace AI and the recent CES 2024 showcased a lot of AI-embracing tech. For Google's CES 2024 announcements, the "Google apps and services come to more cars" part is eye-opening for a marketer like me. How?

It means that the improvement and continued use of Google Maps should be an opportunity for businesses to improve their presence and information on Google Maps. (Personally, I'm a heavy Google Maps user myself when I plan trips and drive.) You should be on it and should be showcasing relevant information and prioritizing customer reviews on the app.

Will it impact your SEO? Yes and No. Check the hyperlink for in-depth explanation regarding this answer.

Facebook Marketplace

Personally using this buy and sell feature by Meta, the Facebook Marketplace has seen a significant increase in users but also scammers so be wary. If you think your product/service is appropriate in this kind of sub-platform, act fast. Avoid being lazy / scammer-like though, invest time in putting complete information and images in this free-to-use Facebook sub-platform. I'll update this post once I come up with more informative content concerning this. Cheers!

#digital marketing ph #digital marketing #digital marketing philippines #ces 2024 #digital marketing 2024

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packernet · 2 years

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New Post has been published on https://www.packernet.com/blog/2023/03/25/packers-are-not-rebuilding/

Packers are not rebuilding

Now that Jordan Love is the Packers starting quarterback it seems the popular theme of the media is the Packers are rebuilding. Expect them to be near the bottom of the pack, if not thee bottom. I say hell no! This is not a team that needs a rebuild, this is a good team that needed an upgrade at quarterback.

January 8, 2023. Lambeau Field. Win and in for the Green Bay Packers. All they have to do is beat the Detroit Lions, who sport the league’s worst defense by a wide margin. 17-27, 205 yards, 1 TD, 1 INT. Those are the numbers of one Aaron Charles Rodgers on this day. He was simply horrible. Even worse than his dreadful performance in Detroit where he threw an interception by under-throwing David Bakhtiari on a two yard pass in the end zone.

Time and time again last year the Packers had chances to win and were let down by poor quarterback play. The first time Love throws a five yard completion on third and four will be the first time that will have happened in years. I certainly won’t miss those long, off target passes to set up the punting team. Maybe we even see a draw play on third down once in a while. Maybe even a quarterback draw dare I say. The possibilities are now endless.

Could the Packers have won the lottery once again? If you want to be a lottery winner you need to know everything you can about it. Like the Packers, you need to keep abreast of the latest industry developments, acquire an in-depth understanding of the game and gain a unique insight into the world’s most popular game.

Talent on both sides of the ball

This is not a team devoid of talent. They have one of the best running backs in the league in Aaron Jones. And with AJ Dillon have a solid running game to build an offense around Love with. They ended last season with a solid offensive line with Bakhtiari back to his high level of pre-injury play. At receiver they have one of the most exciting young receivers in the league in Christian Watson. The kid was putting up Randy Moss numbers for a while last year, and that was with Rodgers, he should really explode with Love at the helm.

Throw in Romeo Doubs and Samori Toure and the receiving room should be just fine. There are questions at tight end but I think Love might bring out the best of Josiah Deguara, who has the skills to be the downfield threat the Packers need there.

Defense was better down the stretch

On defense the Packers have arguably the best cornerback in the league in Jaire Alexander. Well, no argument if you ask him. They will get Eric Stokes back and still have Rasul Douglass. Some questions at safety but nothing that can’t be addressed between now and September.

The front seven is solid with Kenny Clark the anchor of the defensive line. The Packers did lose Jarran Reed and Dean Lowry in free agency but last year’s first round pick Devonte Wyatt was starting to come on at the end of last year. Speaking of first round picks, Quay Walker showed he belongs in this league and after some tough lessons learned should be a Pro Bowl caliber linebacker in the near future.

Preston Smith will be back and so will Rashon Gary when he recovers from his knee injury. Throw in a few pieces in the draft or low priced free agents and there is plenty of reasons to think this defense can play like they did the last five weeks of last year. And I think the defense was put in a lot of bad positions by a Packers offense that couldn’t move the ball consistency.

Not starting over

This is a good football team that should be contending for the division title at least in Love’s first season. I put my money where my mouth is and bet on them to win the North next year. I can’t wait to see Matt LaFleur’s offense again. It hasn’t been seen since 2019 before Rodgers ruined it. I expect them to be top ten again.

Of course, I could be dead wrong and Love will suck. But the Packers don’t think so, and neither do I. Lighting is about to strike thrice my friends.

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dausy · 2 years

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So I plan on finishing an illustration today and hopefully get it uploaded. I have a tentative first day at a new job tomorrow and now I'm stressing over that.

but also I spent the entire day out of town yesterday. We took our first ever outdoor rock climbing trip yesterday and I think all of us are feeling it today.

I felt kind of bad because I didn't have a chance before January to talk about some stuff I accomplished last year of all my hobbies and what I wanted to accomplish this year. So I figured I'd do a looksy backsy and ramble for a bit. Hopefully with cute divider icons if tumblr formats correctly.

so anyway, art related stuff. This time last year I was really wanting to try and build my own stationery set to sell at a local craft fair. Have to admit moving makes this seem too far out of reach. I do kinda feel like abandoning tiktok for youtube. Even though tiktok has the majority of my everything right now. Im at the moment enjoying the bloggy style rambling of youtube. I already have quite a few projects that I want to do but I feel like its been so long since I've uploaded an illustration that I need to do that first. I also have quite a few art supplies that I want to buy..maybe with like my first paycheck.

Games, last year I somehow managed to utilize my switch a lot. That thing went up on a shelf for a long time after animal crossing a few years ago and this past year I pulled it out quite a bit. I really need a goodreads but for video games so I can track what I've played because my memory is getting so bad. I played quite a few cozy games like ooblets and disney dreamlike valley but I also did some jrpgs like Atelier Sophie and Xenoblade Chronicles. I did just download harvestella as a break from xenoblade but I did enjoy the style of that game and would kind of like to play its sequels. I also at some point had meant to play Octopath traveller because I'd never played it and the sequel is out/coming out soon and the sequel looks better than the original imo.

The bulk of my playing though was Horizon Zero Dawn and its sequel. I played Assassins Creed Valhalla before that too so that was A LOT of open world explorey explorey, one right after another. I played HZD and immediately started Forbidden West immediately. I was really brain dead at the end. I get into insane map clearing mode and I cannot do anything until the map is clear. I really liked the idea of the story and I liked the open world nature. I originally wasn't interested in the game because of the machinery involved. Im more of a mystical dragons and castles person but I actually did really like the idea. I had some issues with the execution of the story. It taking itself so seriously yet being so cartoony at the same time. Ill play the triquel but I wasn't thrilled with HFW really.

Books. Previous year I did a personal challenge of trying to read 100 books and I think I got to 98. So I was a bit burnt out this past year. I did read more than I thought. Think I thought I read maybe 15 but I counted and read about 33 not including the Harry Potter Philosophers stone reread that I read in spanish. I do plan hopefully to read book 2 in spanish this year. I'm studying spanish and HP is such a familiar story I think it makes the language less daunting.

My favorite books were definitely Legends and Lattes and Home Before Dark by Riley Sager.

This year I have no real plans to read any sort of amount and I dont want to feel pressured to do so. I'm finishing some books that I didn't complete before 2022 ended. I finished 5 Days at Memorial right before the clock hit midnight practically on 2023 and it made me so angry at the medical field. I added 2 more medical books to my tbr. Ill finish 2 more books that are halfway done probably in the near future and then I don't know what else to read.

Ill admit trying to film art for youtube really interupts ones audiobook experience. I may just ditch books for ambient music.

#2022 recap #2023plans #happynewyear2023 #artblog #artistblog #readingtbr #gamingblog #gaming #videogames #art #books #arttube #booktube

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path-of-my-childhood · 4 years

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Musicians On Musicians: Paul McCartney & Taylor Swift

By: Patrick Doyle for Rolling Stone Date: November 13th 2020

On songwriting secrets, making albums at home, and what they’ve learned during the pandemic.

Taylor Swift arrived early to Paul McCartney’s London office in October, “mask on, brimming with excitement.” “I mostly work from home these days,” she writes about that day, “and today feels like a rare school field trip that you actually want to go on.”

Swift showed up without a team, doing her own hair and makeup. In addition to being two of the most famous pop songwriters in the world, Swift and McCartney have spent the past year on similar journeys. McCartney, isolated at home in the U.K., recorded McCartney III. Like his first solo album, in 1970, he played nearly all of the instruments himself, resulting in some of his most wildly ambitious songs in a long time. Swift also took some new chances, writing over email with the National’s Aaron Dessner and recording the raw Folklore, which abandons arena pop entirely in favor of rich character songs. It’s the bestselling album of 2020.

Swift listened to McCartney III as she prepared for today’s conversation; McCartney delved into Folkore. Before the photo shoot, Swift caught up with his daughters Mary (who would be photographing them) and Stella (who designed Swift’s clothes; the two are close friends). “I’ve met Paul a few times, mostly onstage at parties, but we’ll get to that later,” Swift writes. “Soon he walks in with his wife, Nancy. They’re a sunny and playful pair, and I immediately feel like this will be a good day. During the shoot, Paul dances and takes almost none of it too seriously and sings along to Motown songs playing from the speakers. A few times Mary scolds, ‘Daaad, try to stand still!’ And it feels like a window into a pretty awesome family dynamic. We walk into his office for a chat, and after I make a nervous request, Paul is kind enough to handwrite my favorite lyric of his and sign it. He makes a joke about me selling it, and I laugh because it’s something I know I’ll cherish for the rest of my life. That’s around the time when we start talking about music.”

Taylor Swift: I think it’s important to note that if this year had gone the way that we thought it was going to go, you and I would have played Glastonbury this year, and instead, you and I both made albums in isolation.

Paul McCartney: Yeah!

Swift: And I remember thinking it would have been so much fun because the times that I’ve run into you, I correlate with being some of the most fun nights of my life. I was at a party with you, when everybody just started playing music. And it was Dave Grohl playing, and you...

McCartney: You were playing one of his songs, weren’t you?

Swift: Yes, I was playing his song called “Best of You,” but I was playing it on piano, and he didn’t recognize it until about halfway through. I just remember thinking, “Are you the catalyst for the most fun times ever?” Is it your willingness to get up and play music that makes everyone feel like this is a thing that can happen tonight?

McCartney: I mean, I think it’s a bit of everything, isn’t it? I’ll tell you who was very... Reese Witherspoon was like, “Are you going to sing?” I said “Oh, I don’t know.” She said, “You’ve got to, yeah!” She’s bossing me around. So I said, “Whoa,” so it’s a bit of that.

Swift: I love that person, because the party does not turn musical without that person.

McCartney: Yeah, that’s true.

Swift: If nobody says, “Can you guys play music?” we’re not going to invite ourselves up onstage at whatever living-room party it is.

McCartney: I seem to remember Woody Harrelson got on the piano, and he starts playing “Let It Be,” and I’m thinking, “I can do that better.” So I said, “Come on, move over, Woody.” So we’re both playing it. It was really nice... I love people like Dan Aykroyd, who’s just full of energy and he loves his music so much, but he’s not necessarily a musician, but he just wanders around the room, just saying, “You got to get up, got to get up, do some stuff.”

Swift: I listened to your new record. And I loved a lot of things about it, but it really did feel like kind of a flex to write, produce, and play every instrument on every track. To me, that’s like flexing a muscle and saying, “I can do all this on my own if I have to.”

McCartney: Well, I don’t think like that, I must admit. I just picked up some of these instruments over the years. We had a piano at home that my dad played, so I picked around on that. I wrote the melody to “When I’m 64” when I was, you know, a teenager.

Swift: Wow.

McCartney: When the Beatles went to Hamburg, there were always drum kits knocking around, so when there was a quiet moment, I’d say, “Do you mind if I have a knock around?” So I was able to practice, you know, without practicing. That’s why I play right-handed. Guitar was just the first instrument I got. Guitar turned to bass; it also turned into ukulele, mandolin. Suddenly, it’s like, “Wow,” but it’s really only two or three instruments.

Swift: Well, I think that’s downplaying it a little bit. In my mind, it came with a visual of you being in the country, kind of absorbing the sort of do-it-yourself [quality] that has had to come with the quarantine and this pandemic. I found that I’ve adapted a do-it-yourself mentality to a lot of things in my career that I used to outsource. I’m just wondering what a day of recording in the pandemic looked like for you.

McCartney: Well, I’m very lucky because I have a studio that’s, like, 20 minutes away from where I live. We were in lockdown on a farm, a sheep farm with my daughter Mary and her four kids and her husband. So I had four of my grandkids, I had Mary, who’s a great cook, so I would just drive myself to the studio. And there were two other guys that could come in and we’d be very careful and distanced and everything: my engineer Steve, and then my equipment guy Keith. So the three of us made the record, and I just started off. I had to do a little bit of film music - I had to do an instrumental for a film thing - so I did that. And I just kept going, and that turned into the opening track on the album. I would just come in, say, “Oh, yeah, what are we gonna do?” [Then] have some sort of idea, and start doing it. Normally, I’d start with the instrument I wrote it on, either piano or guitar, and then probably add some drums and then a bit of bass till it started to sound like a record, and then just gradually layer it all up. It was fun.

Swift: That’s so cool.

McCartney: What about yours? You’re playing guitar and piano on yours.

Swift: Yeah, on some of it, but a lot of it was made with Aaron Dessner, who’s in a band called the National that I really love. And I had met him at a concert a year before, and I had a conversation with him, asking him how he writes. It’s my favorite thing to ask people who I’m a fan of. And he had an interesting answer. He said, “All the band members live in different parts of the world. So I make tracks. And I send them to our lead singer, Matt, and he writes the top line.” I just remember thinking, “That is really efficient.” And I kind of stored it in my brain as a future idea for a project. You know, how you have these ideas... “Maybe one day I’ll do this.” I always had in my head: “Maybe one day I’ll work with Aaron Dessner.”

So when lockdown happened, I was in L.A., and we kind of got stuck there. It’s not a terrible place to be stuck. We were there for four months maybe, and during that time, I sent an email to Aaron Dessner and I said, “Do you think you would want to work during this time? Because my brain is all scrambled, and I need to make something, even if we’re just kind of making songs that we don’t know what will happen...”

McCartney: Yeah, that was the thing. You could do stuff - you didn’t really worry it was going to turn into anything.

Swift: Yeah, and it turned out he had been writing instrumental tracks to keep from absolutely going crazy during the pandemic as well, so he sends me this file of probably 30 instrumentals, and the first one I opened ended up being a song called “Cardigan,” and it really happened rapid-fire like that. He’d send me a track; he’d make new tracks, add to the folder; I would write the entire top line for a song, and he wouldn’t know what the song would be about, what it was going to be called, where I was going to put the chorus. I had originally thought, “Maybe I’ll make an album in the next year, and put it out in January or something,” but it ended up being done and we put it out in July. And I just thought there are no rules anymore, because I used to put all these parameters on myself, like, “How will this song sound in a stadium? How will this song sound on radio?” If you take away all the parameters, what do you make? And I guess the answer is Folklore.

McCartney: And it’s more music for yourself than music that’s got to go do a job. My thing was similar to that: After having done this little bit of film music, I had a lot of stuff that I had been working on, but I’d said, “I’m just going home now,” and it’d be left half-finished. So I just started saying, “Well, what about that? I never finished that.” So we’d pull it out, and we said, “Oh, well, this could be good.” And because it didn’t have to amount to anything, I would say, “Ah, I really want to do tape loops. I don’t care if they fit on this song, I just want to do some.” So I go and make some tape loops, and put them in the song, just really trying to do stuff that I fancy.

I had no idea it would end up as an album; I may have been a bit less indulgent, but if a track was eight minutes long, to tell you the truth, what I thought was, “I’ll be taking it home tonight, Mary will be cooking, the grandkids will all be there running around, and someone, maybe Simon, Mary’s husband, is going to say, ‘What did you do today?’ And I’m going to go, ‘Oh,’ and then get my phone and play it for them.” So this became the ritual.

Swift: That’s the coziest thing I’ve ever heard.

McCartney: Well, it’s like eight minutes long, and I said, “I hate it when I’m playing someone something and it finishes after three minutes.” I kind of like that it just [continues] on.

Swift: You want to stay in the zone.

McCartney: It just keeps going on. I would just come home, “Well, what did you do today?” “Oh, well, I did this. I’m halfway through this,” or, “We finished this.”

Swift: I was wondering about the numerology element to McCartney III. McCartney I, II, and III have all come out on years with zeroes.

McCartney: Ends of decades.

Swift: Was that important?

McCartney: Yeah, well, this was being done in 2020, and I didn’t really think about it. I think everyone expected great things of 2020. “It’s gonna be great! Look at that number! 2020! Auspicious!” Then suddenly Covid hit, and it was like, “That’s gonna be auspicious all right, but maybe for the wrong reasons.” Someone said to me, “Well, you put out McCartney right after the Beatles broke up, and that was 1970, and then you did McCartney II in 1980.” And I said, “Oh, I’m going to release this in 2020 just for whatever you call it, the numerology...”

Swift: The numerology, the kind of look, the symbolism. I love numbers. Numbers kind of rule my whole world. The numbers 13... 89 is a big one. I have a few others that I find...

McCartney: Thirteen is lucky for some.

Swift: Yeah, it’s lucky for me. It’s my birthday. It’s all these weird coincidences of good things that have happened. Now, when I see it places, I look at it as a sign that things are going the way they’re supposed to. They may not be good now, they could be painful now, but things are on a track. I don’t know, I love the numerology.

McCartney: It’s spooky, Taylor. It’s very spooky. Now wait a minute: Where’d you get 89?

Swift: That’s when I was born, in 1989, and so I see it in different places and I just think it’s...

McCartney: No, it’s good. I like that, where certain things you attach yourself to, and you get a good feeling off them. I think that’s great.

Swift: Yeah, one of my favorite artists, Bon Iver, he has this thing with the number 22. But I was also wondering: You have always kind of seeked out a band or a communal atmosphere with like, you know, the Beatles and Wings, and then Egypt Station. I thought it was interesting when I realized you had made a record with no one else. I just wondered, did that feel natural?

McCartney: It’s one of the things I’ve done. Like with McCartney, because the Beatles had broken up, there was no alternative but to get a drum kit at home, get a guitar, get an amp, get a bass, and just make something for myself. So on that album, which I didn’t really expect to do very well, I don’t think it did. But people sort of say, “I like that. It was a very casual album.” It didn’t really have to mean anything. So I’ve done that, the play-everything-myself thing. And then I discovered synths and stuff, and sequencers, so I had a few of those at home. I just thought I’m going to play around with this and record it, so that became McCartney II. But it’s a thing I do. Certain people can do it. Stevie Wonder can do it. Stevie Winwood, I believe, has done it. So there are certain people quite like that.

When you’re working with someone else, you have to worry about their variances. Whereas your own variance, you kind of know it. It’s just something I’ve grown to like. Once you can do it, it becomes a little bit addictive. I actually made some records under the name the Fireman.

Swift: Love a pseudonym.

McCartney: Yeah, for the fun! But, you know, let’s face it, you crave fame and attention when you’re young. And I just remembered the other day, I was the guy in the Beatles that would write to journalists and say [speaks in a formal voice]: “We are a semiprofessional rock combo, and I’d think you’d like [us]... We’ve written over 100 songs (which was a lie), my friend John and I. If you mention us in your newspaper...” You know, I was always, like, craving the attention.

Swift: The hustle! That’s so great, though.

McCartney: Well, yeah, you need that.

Swift: Yeah, I think, when a pseudonym comes in is when you still have a love for making the work and you don’t want the work to become overshadowed by this thing that’s been built around you, based on what people know about you. And that’s when it’s really fun to create fake names and write under them.

McCartney: Do you ever do that?

Swift: Oh, yeah.

McCartney: Oh, yeah? Oh, well, we didn’t know that! Is that a widely known fact?

Swift: I think it is now, but it wasn’t. I wrote under the name Nils Sjöberg because those are two of the most popular names of Swedish males. I wrote this song called “This Is What You Came For” that Rihanna ended up singing. And nobody knew for a while. I remembered always hearing that when Prince wrote “Manic Monday,” they didn’t reveal it for a couple of months.

McCartney: Yeah, it also proves you can do something without the fame tag. I did something for Peter and Gordon; my girlfriend’s brother and his mate were in a band called Peter and Gordon. And I used to write under the name Bernard Webb.

Swift: [Laughs.] That’s a good one! I love it.

McCartney: As Americans call it, Ber-nard Webb. I did the Fireman thing. I worked with a producer, a guy called Youth, who’s this real cool dude. We got along great. He did a mix for me early on, and we got friendly. I would just go into the studio, and he would say, “Hey, what about this groove?” and he’d just made me have a little groove going. He’d say, “You ought to put some bass on it. Put some drums on it.” I’d just spend the whole day putting stuff on it. And we’d make these tracks, and nobody knew who Fireman was for a while. We must have sold all of 15 copies.

Swift: Thrilling, absolutely thrilling.

McCartney: And we didn’t mind, you know?

Swift: I think it’s so cool that you do projects that are just for you. Because I went with my family to see you in concert in 2010 or 2011, and the thing I took away from the show most was that it was the most selfless set list I had ever seen. It was completely geared toward what it would thrill us to hear. It had new stuff, but it had every hit we wanted to hear, every song we’d ever cried to, every song people had gotten married to, or been brokenhearted to. And I just remembered thinking, “I’ve got to remember that,” that you do that set list for your fans.

McCartney: You do that, do you?

Swift: I do now. I think that learning that lesson from you taught me at a really important stage in my career that if people want to hear “Love Story” and “Shake It Off,” and I’ve played them 300 million times, play them the 300-millionth-and-first time. I think there are times to be selfish in your career, and times to be selfless, and sometimes they line up.

McCartney: I always remembered going to concerts as a kid, completely before the Beatles, and I really hoped they would play the ones I loved. And if they didn’t, it was kind of disappointing. I had no money, and the family wasn’t wealthy. So this would be a big deal for me, to save up for months to afford the concert ticket.

Swift: Yeah, it feels like a bond. It feels like that person on the stage has given something, and it makes you as a crowd want to give even more back, in terms of applause, in terms of dedication. And I just remembered feeling that bond in the crowd, and thinking, “He’s up there playing these Beatles songs, my dad is crying, my mom is trying to figure out how to work her phone because her hands are shaking so much.” Because seeing the excitement course through not only me, but my family and the entire crowd in Nashville, it just was really special. I love learning lessons and not having to learn them the hard way. Like learning nice lessons I really value.

McCartney: Well, that’s great, and I’m glad that set you on that path. I understand people who don’t want to do that, and if you do, they’ll say, “Oh, it’s a jukebox show.” I hear what they’re saying. But I think it’s a bit of a cheat, because the people who come to our shows have spent a lot of money. We can afford to go to a couple of shows and it doesn’t make much difference. But a lot of ordinary working folks... it’s a big event in their life, and so I try and deliver. I also, like you say, try and put in a few weirdos.

Swift: That’s the best. I want to hear current things, too, to update me on where the artist is. I was wondering about lyrics, and where you were lyrically when you were making this record. Because when I was making Folklore, I went lyrically in a total direction of escapism and romanticism. And I wrote songs imagining I was, like, a pioneer woman in a forbidden love affair [laughs]. I was completely...

McCartney: Was this “I want to give you a child”? Is that one of the lines?

Swift: Oh, that’s a song called “Peace.”

McCartney: “Peace,” I like that one.

Swift: “Peace” is actually more rooted in my personal life. I know you have done a really excellent job of this in your personal life: carving out a human life within a public life, and how scary that can be when you do fall in love and you meet someone, especially if you’ve met someone who has a very grounded, normal way of living. I, oftentimes, in my anxieties, can control how I am as a person and how normal I act and rationalize things, but I cannot control if there are 20 photographers outside in the bushes and what they do and if they follow our car and if they interrupt our lives. I can’t control if there’s going to be a fake weird headline about us in the news tomorrow.

McCartney: So how does that go? Does your partner sympathize with that and understand?

Swift: Oh, absolutely.

McCartney: They have to, don’t they?

Swift: But I think that in knowing him and being in the relationship I am in now, I have definitely made decisions that have made my life feel more like a real life and less like just a storyline to be commented on in tabloids. Whether that’s deciding where to live, who to hang out with, when to not take a picture - the idea of privacy feels so strange to try to explain, but it’s really just trying to find bits of normalcy. That’s what that song “Peace” is talking about. Like, would it be enough if I could never fully achieve the normalcy that we both crave? Stella always tells me that she had as normal a childhood as she could ever hope for under the circumstances.

McCartney: Yeah, it was very important to us to try and keep their feet on the ground amongst the craziness.

Swift: She went to a regular school...

McCartney: Yeah, she did.

Swift: And you would go trick-or-treating with them, wearing masks.

McCartney: All of them did, yeah. It was important, but it worked pretty well, because when they kind of reached adulthood, they would meet other kids who might have gone to private schools, who were a little less grounded.

And they could be the budding mothers to [kids]. I remember Mary had a friend, Orlando. Not Bloom. She used to really counsel him. And it’s ’cause she’d gone through that. Obviously, they got made fun of, my kids. They’d come in the classroom and somebody would sing, “Na na na na,” you know, one of the songs. And they’d have to handle that. They’d have to front it out.

Swift: Did that give you a lot of anxiety when you had kids, when you felt like all this pressure that’s been put on me is spilling over onto them, that they didn’t sign up for it? Was that hard for you?

McCartney: Yeah, a little bit, but it wasn’t like it is now. You know, we were just living a kind of semi-hippie life, where we withdrew from a lot of stuff. The kids would be doing all the ordinary things, and their school friends would be coming up to the house and having parties, and it was just great. I remember one lovely evening when it was Stella’s birthday, and she brought a bunch of school kids up. And, you know, they’d all ignore me. It happens very quickly. At first they’re like, “Oh, yeah, he’s like a famous guy,” and then it’s like [yawns]. I like that. I go in the other room and suddenly I hear this music going on. And one of the kids, his name was Luke, and he’s doing break dancing.

Swift: Ohhh!

McCartney: He was a really good break dancer, so all the kids are hanging out. That allowed them to be kind of normal with those kids. The other thing is, I don’t live fancy. I really don’t. Sometimes it’s a little bit of an embarrassment, if I’ve got someone coming to visit me, or who I know…

Swift: Cares about that stuff?

McCartney: Who’s got a nice big house, you know. Quincy Jones came to see me and I’m, like, making him a veggie burger or something. I’m doing some cooking. This was after I’d lost Linda, in between there. But the point I’m making is that I’m very consciously thinking, “Oh, God, Quincy’s got to be thinking, ‘What is this guy on? He hasn’t got big things going on. It’s not a fancy house at all. And we’re eating in the kitchen! He’s not even got the dining room going,’” you know?

Swift: I think that sounds like a perfect day.

McCartney: But that’s me. I’m awkward like that. That’s my kind of thing. Maybe I should have, like, a big stately home. Maybe I should get a staff. But I think I couldn’t do that. I’d be so embarrassed. I’d want to walk around dressed as I want to walk around, or naked, if I wanted to.

Swift: That can’t happen in Downton Abbey.

McCartney: [Laughs.] Exactly.

Swift: I remember what I wanted to know about, which is lyrics. Like, when you’re in this kind of strange, unparalleled time, and you’re making this record, are lyrics first? Or is it when you get a little melodic idea?

McCartney: It was a bit of both. As it kind of always is with me. There’s no fixed way. People used to ask me and John, “Well, who does the words, who does the music?” I used to say, “We both do both.” We used to say we don’t have a formula, and we don’t want one. Because the minute we get a formula, we should rip it up. I will sometimes, as I did with a couple of songs on this album, sit down at the piano and just start noodling around, and I’ll get a little idea and start to fill that out. So the lyrics - for me, it’s following a trail. I’ll start [sings “Find My Way,” a song from “McCartney III”]: “I can find my way. I know my left from right, da da da.” And I’ll just sort of fill it in. Like, we know this song, and I’m trying to remember the lyrics. Sometimes I’ll just be inspired by something. I had a little book which was all about the constellations and the stars and the orbits of Venus and...

Swift: Oh, I know that song - “The Kiss of Venus”?

McCartney: Yeah, “The Kiss of Venus.” And I just thought, “That’s a nice phrase.” So I was actually just taking phrases out of the book, harmonic sounds. And the book is talking about the maths of the universe, and how when things orbit around each other, and if you trace all the patterns, it becomes like a lotus flower.

Swift: Wow.

McCartney: It’s very magical.

Swift: That is magical. I definitely relate to needing to find magical things in this very not-magical time, needing to read more books and learn to sew, and watch movies that take place hundreds of years ago. In a time where, if you look at the news, you just want to have a panic attack - I really relate to the idea that you are thinking about stars and constellations.

McCartney: Did you do that on Folklore?

Swift: Yes. I was reading so much more than I ever did, and watching so many more films.

McCartney: What stuff were you reading?

Swift: I was reading, you know, books like Rebecca, by Daphne du Maurier, which I highly recommend, and books that dealt with times past, a world that doesn’t exist anymore. I was also using words I always wanted to use - kind of bigger, flowerier, prettier words, like “epiphany,” in songs. I always thought, “Well, that’ll never track on pop radio,” but when I was making this record, I thought, “What tracks? Nothing makes sense anymore. If there’s chaos everywhere, why don’t I just use the damn word I want to use in the song?”

McCartney: Exactly. So you’d see the word in a book and think, “I love that word”?

Swift: Yeah, I have favorite words, like “elegies” and “epiphany” and “divorcée,” and just words that I think sound beautiful, and I have lists and lists of them.

McCartney: How about “marzipan”?

Swift: Love “marzipan.”

McCartney: The other day, I was remembering when we wrote “Lucy in the Sky With Diamonds”: “kaleidoscope.”

Swift: “Kaleidoscope” is one of mine! I have a song on 1989, a song called “Welcome to New York,” that I put the word “kaleidoscope” in just because I’m obsessed with the word.

McCartney: I think a love of words is a great thing, particularly if you’re going to try to write a lyric, and for me, it’s like, “What is this going to say to that person?” I often feel like I’m writing to someone who is not doing so well. So I’m trying to write songs that might help. Not in a goody-goody, crusading kind of way, but just thinking there have been so many times in my life when I’ve heard a song and felt so much better. I think that’s the angle I want, that inspirational thing.

I remember once, a friend of mine from Liverpool, we were teenagers and we were going to a fairground. He was a schoolmate, and we had these jackets that had a little fleck in the material, which was the cool thing at the time.

Swift: We should have done matching jackets for this photo shoot.

McCartney: Find me a fleck, I’m in. But we went to the fair, and I just remember - this is what happens with songs - there was this girl at the fair. This is just a little Liverpool fair - it was in a place called Sefton Park - and there was this girl, who was so beautiful. She wasn’t a star. She was so beautiful. Everyone was following her, and it’s like, “Wow.” It’s like a magical scene, you know? But all this gave me a headache, so I ended up going back to his house - I didn’t normally get headaches. And we thought, “What can we do?” So we put on the Elvis song “All Shook Up.” By the end of that song, my headache had gone. I thought, you know, “That’s powerful.”

Swift: That really is powerful.

McCartney: I love that, when people stop me in the street and say, “Oh, I was going through an illness and I listened to a lot of your stuff, and I’m better now and it got me through,” or kids will say, “It got me through exams.” You know, they’re studying, they’re going crazy, but they put your music on. I’m sure it happens with a lot of your fans. It inspires them, you know?

Swift: Yeah, I definitely think about that as a goal. There’s so much stress everywhere you turn that I kind of wanted to make an album that felt sort of like a hug, or like your favorite sweater that makes you feel like you want to put it on.

McCartney: What, a “cardigan”?

Swift: Like a good cardigan, a good, worn-in cardigan. Or something that makes you reminisce on your childhood. I think sadness can be cozy. It can obviously be traumatic and stressful, too, but I kind of was trying to lean into sadness that feels like somehow enveloping in not such a scary way - like nostalgia and whimsy incorporated into a feeling like you’re not all right. Because I don’t think anybody was really feeling like they were in their prime this year. Isolation can mean escaping into your imagination in a way that’s kind of nice.

McCartney: I think a lot of people have found that. I would say to people, “I feel a bit guilty about saying I’m actually enjoying this quarantine thing,” and people go, “Yeah, I know, don’t say it to anyone.” A lot of people are really suffering.

Swift: Because there’s a lot in life that’s arbitrary. Completely and totally arbitrary. And [the quarantine] is really shining a light on that, and also a lot of things we have that we outsource that you can actually do yourself.

McCartney: I love that. This is why I said I live simply. That’s, like, at the core of it. With so many things, something goes wrong and you go, “Oh, I’ll get somebody to fix that.” And then it’s like, “No, let me have a look at it...”

Swift: Get a hammer and a nail.

McCartney: “Maybe I can put that picture up.” It’s not rocket science. The period after the Beatles, when we went to live in Scotland on a really - talk about dumpy - little farm. I mean, I see pictures of it now and I’m not ashamed, but I’m almost ashamed. Because it’s like, “God, nobody’s cleaned up around here.”

But it was really a relief. Because when I was with the Beatles, we’d formed Apple Records, and if I wanted a Christmas tree, someone would just buy it. And I thought, after a while, “No, you know what? I really would like to go and buy our Christmas tree. Because that’s what everyone does.” So you go down - “I’ll have that one” - and you carried it back. I mean, it’s little, but it’s huge at the same time.

I needed a table in Scotland and I was looking through a catalog and I thought, “I could make one. I did woodwork in school, so I know what a dovetail joint is.” So I just figured it out. I’m just sitting in the kitchen, and I’m whittling away at this wood and I made this little joint. There was no nail technology - it was glue. And I was scared to put it together. I said, “It’s not going to fit,” but one day, I got my woodwork glue and thought, “There’s no going back.” But it turned out to be a real nice little table I was very proud of. It was that sense of achievement.

The weird thing was, Stella went up to Scotland recently and I said, “Isn’t it there?” and she said, “No.” Anyway, I searched for it. Nobody remembered it. Somebody said, “Well, there’s a pile of wood in the corner of one of the barns, maybe that’s it. Maybe they used it for firewood.” I said, “No, it’s not firewood.” Anyway, we found it, and do you know how joyous that was for me? I was like, “You found my table?!” Somebody might say that’s a bit boring.

Swift: No, it’s cool!

McCartney: But it was a real sort of great thing for me to be able to do stuff for yourself. You were talking about sewing. I mean normally, in your position, you’ve got any amount of tailors.

Swift: Well, there’s been a bit of a baby boom recently; several of my friends have gotten pregnant.

McCartney: Oh, yeah, you’re at the age.

Swift: And I was just thinking, “I really want to spend time with my hands, making something for their children.” So I made this really cool flying-squirrel stuffed animal that I sent to one of my friends. I sent a teddy bear to another one, and I started making these little silk baby blankets with embroidery. It’s gotten pretty fancy. And I’ve been painting a lot.

McCartney: What do you paint? Watercolors?

Swift: Acrylic or oil. Whenever I do watercolor, all I paint is flowers. When I have oil, I really like to do landscapes. I always kind of return to painting a lonely little cottage on a hill.

McCartney: It’s a bit of a romantic dream. I agree with you, though, I think you’ve got to have dreams, particularly this year. You’ve got to have something to escape to. When you say “escapism,” it sounds like a dirty word, but this year, it definitely wasn’t. And in the books you’re reading, you’ve gone into that world. That’s, I think, a great thing. Then you come back out. I normally will read a lot before I go to bed. So I’ll come back out, then I’ll go to sleep, so I think it really is nice to have those dreams that can be fantasies or stuff you want to achieve.

Swift: You’re creating characters. This was the first album where I ever created characters, or wrote about the life of a real-life person. There’s a song called “The Last Great American Dynasty” that’s about this real-life heiress who lived just an absolutely chaotic, hectic...

McCartney: She’s a fantasy character?

Swift: She’s a real person. Who lived in the house that I live in.

McCartney: She’s a real person? I listened to that and I thought, “Who is this?”

Swift: Her name was Rebekah Harkness. And she lived in the house that I ended up buying in Rhode Island. That’s how I learned about her. But she was a woman who was very, very talked about, and everything she did was scandalous. I found a connection in that. But I also was thinking about how you write “Eleanor Rigby” and go into that whole story about what all these people in this town are doing and how their lives intersect, and I hadn’t really done that in a very long time with my music. It had always been so microscope personal.

McCartney: Yeah, ’cause you were writing breakup songs like they were going out of style.

Swift: I was, before my luck changed [laughs]. I still write breakup songs. I love a good breakup song. Because somewhere in the world, I always have a friend going through a breakup, and that will make me write one.

McCartney: Yeah, this goes back to this thing of me and John: When you’ve got a formula, break it. I don’t have a formula. It’s the mood I’m in. So I love the idea of writing a character. And, you know, trying to think, “What am I basing this on?” So “Eleanor Rigby” was based on old ladies I knew as a kid. For some reason or other, I got great relationships with a couple of local old ladies. I was thinking the other day, I don’t know how I met them, it wasn’t like they were family. I’d just run into them, and I’d do their shopping for them.

Swift: That’s amazing.

McCartney: It just felt good to me. I would sit and talk, and they’d have amazing stories. That’s what I liked. They would have stories from the wartime - because I was born actually in the war - and so these old ladies, they were participating in the war. This one lady I used to sort of just hang out with, she had a crystal radio that I found very magical. In the war, a lot of people made their own radios - you’d make them out of crystals [sings “The Twilight Zone” theme].

Swift: How did I not know this? That sounds like something I would have tried to learn about.

McCartney: It’s interesting, because there is a lot of parallels with the virus and lockdowns and wartime. It happened to everyone. Like, this isn’t HIV, or SARS, or Avian flu, which happened to others, generally. This has happened to everyone, all around the world. That’s the defining thing about this particular virus. And, you know, my parents... it happened to everyone in Britain, including the queen and Churchill. War happened. So they were all part of this thing, and they all had to figure out a way through it. So you figured out Folklore. I figured out McCartney III.

Swift: And a lot of people have been baking sourdough bread. Whatever gets you through!

McCartney: Some people used to make radios. And they’d take a crystal - we should look it up, but it actually is a crystal. I thought, “Oh, no, they just called it a crystal radio,” but it’s actually crystals like we know and love.

Swift: Wow.

McCartney: And somehow they get the radio waves - this crystal attracts them - they tune it in, and that’s how they used to get their news. Back to “Eleanor Rigby,” so I would think of her and think of what she’s doing and then just try to get lyrical, just try to bring poetry into it, words you love, just try to get images like “picks up the rice in the church where a wedding has been,” and Father McKenzie “is darning his socks in the night.” You know, he’s a religious man, so I could’ve said, you know, “preparing his Bible,” which would have been more obvious. But “darning his socks” kind of says more about him. So you get into this lovely fantasy. And that’s the magic of songs, you know. It’s a black hole, and then you start doing this process, and then there’s this beautiful little flower that you’ve just made. So it is very like embroidery, making something.

Swift: Making a table.

McCartney: Making a table.

Swift: Wow, it would’ve been so fun to play Glastonbury for the 50th anniversary together.

McCartney: It would’ve been great, wouldn’t it? And I was going to be asking you to play with me.

Swift: Were you going to invite me? I was hoping that you would. I was going to ask you.

McCartney: I would’ve done “Shake It Off.”

Swift: Oh, my God, that would have been amazing.

McCartney: I know it, it’s in C!

Swift: One thing I just find so cool about you is that you really do seem to have the joy of it, still, just no matter what. You seem to have the purest sense of joy of playing an instrument and making music, and that’s just the best, I think.

McCartney: Well, we’re just so lucky, aren’t we?

Swift: We’re really lucky.

McCartney: I don’t know if it ever happens to you, but with me, it’s like, “Oh, my god, I’ve ended up as a musician.”

Swift: Yeah, I can’t believe it’s my job.

McCartney: I must tell you a story I told Mary the other day, which is just one of my favorite little sort of Beatles stories. We were in a terrible, big blizzard, going from London to Liverpool, which we always did. We’d be working in London and then drive back in the van, just the four of us with our roadie, who would be driving. And this was a blizzard. You couldn’t see the road. At one point, it slid off and it went down an embankment. So it was “Ahhh,” a bunch of yelling. We ended up at the bottom. It didn’t flip, luckily, but so there we are, and then it’s like, “Oh, how are we going to get back up? We’re in a van. It’s snowing, and there’s no way.” We’re all standing around in a little circle, and thinking, “What are we going to do?” And one of us said, “Well, something will happen.” And I thought that was just the greatest. I love that, that’s a philosophy.

Swift: “Something will happen.”

McCartney: And it did. We sort of went up the bank, we thumbed a lift, we got the lorry driver to take us, and Mal, our roadie, sorted the van and everything. So that was kind of our career. And I suppose that’s like how I ended up being a musician and a songwriter: “Something will happen.”

Swift: That’s the best.

McCartney: It’s so stupid it’s brilliant. It’s great if you’re ever in that sort of panic attack: “Oh, my God,” or, “Ahhh, what am I going to do?”

Swift: “Something will happen.”

McCartney: All right then, thanks for doing this, and this was, you know, a lot of fun.

Swift: You’re the best. This was so awesome. Those were some quality stories!

#this just might be the longest post I have ever posted #I have so much work so I'll read and edit later #taylor swift #paul mccartney #Rolling Stone magazine #interview #folklore era

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watchmegetobsessed · 4 years

Text

Keys of truth - Harry Styles

❄️ FANFICmas 2020 ❄️

Read more about FANFICmas here!

hiya loves! this was a very sudden idea of mine that i really wanted to write so i made it to be the last fic of fanficmas! thank you for reading my works through the month, i hope you all enjoyed all the content and i hope you’ll stay with me in 2021 as well! this is an exlovers to lovers fic, kind of very emotional so... yeah!

word count: 3.4k

masterlist

You stay in your car for so long the heat that warmed you on your way here has completely disappeared, your fingers are like ice as they still grip the steering wheel. The snow blizzard outside is raging, warning you that if you don’t go inside anytime soon you might get stuck here and that’s the last thing you want: trapped with your ex who you still dearly love.

You can barely see out of the windshield, it’s covered in snow, another sign that your time is ticking, you need to get back home before all roads get snowed in.

“You can do it. It’s just Harry,” you tell yourself, but that’s the problem. It’s Harry who is currently inside, kind of waiting for you to arrive, pack the remaining of your stuff from his house so your breakup can be official.

The burning regret has been making your life miserable in the past few weeks, ever since you said the words and instantly wanted to take them back. But upon seeing his reaction, you decided to be stubborn and don’t show your weakness.

“Can’t this conversation just wait a little longer, please?” he sighed, clearly annoyed that you brought up the same thing for the hundredth time in the past two months. But you just couldn’t help it, you were feeling like you were running out of time and Harry didn’t seem to realize it.

“How can you ask me to put it aside when my lease is ending in January? I need to know how to plan. Why is it so hard to decide if you want me here or not?”

The thought of moving together had come up a few times, but it became a burning question when your lease was nearing its end. You wanted to move in with Harry, something you’ve been planning on for a while, and you thought he did the same. But when you first mentioned it to him, he seemed hesitant, as if he didn’t want it wholeheartedly and that hurt you like Hell, but thought he might had had just a long day. So you agreed to have the conversation another time, but it seemed like no time was suitable for him. He had been dodging your question instantly, trying to get out of it as fast as possible, giving you the feeling that he doesn’t want you around after all.

But it was now the beginning of December, leaving you very little time to look for a new place if he decided he needed his own place. It wouldn’t have bothered you that much, you understand his need for privacy, but at least have the courage to tell you, right? But he didn’t. He kept brushing it off, building the tension in you until one day… you snapped.

“It’s not that easy, Y/N, alright? I asked you to have this discussion later, why can’t you wait a little more?” he snapped right back, growing frustrated as well, but you didn’t think he had the right.

“Wait for what? To make up your mind if you want a future with me or not? If you are hesitant about it, then I think we have a bigger problem on your hands here, Harry,” you retorted, feeling all the rage you’ve kept bottled up erupt from you.

“What does that supposed to mean?” He looks at you with a hard stare and you stand his piercing eyes, not looking away.

“What it means is that… your behavior is making me think that maybe we aren’t heading in the right direction. I thought it was evident that we would move in, but your hesitation is kind of ruining the picture for me.”

“I’m not hesitating, I just asked for some time to smooth some things out!”

“What things? Do you have someone else living with you and you need to get rid of them before I can move in or what?”

“For fuck’s sake, just give me some damn time, Y/N!”

“Well, I don’t think I have any more time.”

He stared at you in disbelief and the words burned your tongue, but there was no turning back now, it was out there.

“For the moving or for me?” he simply asked, no emotion showing on his face and that hurt you more than you expected. You wanted him to panic, to fall to his knees and beg for your forgiveness, but his reaction was so cold and empty, it completely broke your heart.

“I think we both know the answer,” you whispered, feeling the tears building in your eyes already.

You stormed out of his place after a few insults were thrown at each other and now it has been three weeks you officially called it quits. The worst three weeks of your life, if you are being honest. Not one night went by without you crying yourself to sleep, deeply missing Harry. You still love him more than anyone or anything and there were so many times you just wanted to go back to him crawling, but your pride didn’t let you. He seemed just fine to let you go and that was like a stab in your chest, see him so in peace with you walking out. You just couldn’t believe two years went right out the window just like that, after such a ridiculous little thing. You still haven’t been able to figure out why he couldn’t just give you an answer. It would have been painful to hear him tell you he doesn’t want you living with him just yet, but you would have gotten over it eventually. Would have been a lot better ending to the story than this ugly breakup you won’t be able to forget about… ever.

Swinging the door open the cold wind slaps you right across your face, earning some pretty creative curses from you as you lock the car. Snow is everywhere, threateningly falling with no mercy, and you know you need to make it quick.

Marching up to the front door you push the button to the doorbell a little too forcefully, eyes squinting from the blizzard and it feels like your eyelashes are now covered in snow completely.

Then the door opens and there he is, standing tall and just as handsome as always, wearing a pair of grey sweatpants and a knitted sweater, curls a little messy but in the cutest way possible. He looks so cozy and warm, you just want to wrap yourself into his embrace, but you remind yourself that you no longer have the right to be that close to him.

“Hey, come on in,” he greets you with a small smile, holding the door open as you walk inside and he finally shuts the door, keeping the cold outside.

You haven’t seen him since your fight and now it’s like another slap across your face, seeing him in the flesh, looking… fine. As if nothing has happened while you’ve been a nervous wreck these past weeks and it makes the whole situation even more painful.

“Hi. I’ll be quick, I promise,” you tell him clearing your throat as you get rid of your coat and boots, leaving them by the door so you don’t get any mess on any of his rugs. He nods his head quietly following you further inside the house before taking the lead. You’ve thought about this place as a second home for some time now, but now being here as just some kind of guest is heartbreaking, but you try your best not to think about how painful it really is.

“Most things are in the wardrobe, but I think you have quite some books in the study as well,” he says, awkwardly clearing his throat as he walks you into his bedroom he has shared with you oh so many times before.

“Thanks,” you mumble.

“Do you fancy a cup of tea? I can also help you if you want,” he offers, clearly not certain about how he should act now and that makes the two of you, it seems.

“Tea sounds great, but I’ll be fine on my own,” you tell him with a faint smile and he just nods, shuffling out of the room, leaving you alone.

You start going through his spacious wardrobe, collecting all your items you’ve left here through your time with him, and pack them away into the bags you brought with yourself, knowing well you have a lot to take home. You hear Harry starting the kettle outside in the kitchen and you need to take a deep breath so you don’t start crying. You miss him so much. You miss having him around, talking to you, touching you… kissing you. It’s killing you to know that you’ll never have him the way you want and it feels like you can do nothing, but to suffer quietly.

While packing, you find some of the shirts he always gave you when you spent the night, even though you had your own clothes to sleep in. There was just something different to have his shirts on, smell his scent and he also never failed to tell you how much he loves seeing you wear his stuff, so you shamelessly borrowed anything that caught your eyes. For a moment, you debate if he would notice if you took one of his shirts, but then you tell yourself it would be a stupid idea, so you force yourself to leave there everything that’s not essentially yours.

“Here. With a dash of honey, just like how you always drink it,” he smiles at you warmly as he reappears with a steaming mug in his hands.

“Thank you,” you mumble shyly taking the mug from him to have a breather from all the packing.

He stays standing there, just a few feet from you, looking around a little lost, his hands on his hips, as if he is trying to find something to do, but there’s none. It’s the first time you see something in him, something you are not used to, but it’s so masked that you can’t put your finger on it.

“Alright, um… I’ll be in the kitchen if you need any help,” he then says with a tight-lipped smile before walking out and leaving you alone again.

You need a breather once he is gone, you let yourself sit on the edge of his bed, sipping on the tea and you can’t ignore how he used your favorite filter, the one you always made him buy so he had it at his place as well. These thoughtful little things always make your stomach churn, especially now. Because you just can’t put it together with how it all ended. Why would he be this caring and loving man towards you, when he doesn’t want you anymore?

Swallowing down you tears you just sit there until you finish the hot drink and force yourself to stand up and bring the mug out for him. Your feet tap against the hardwood floor quietly and as you are about to turn the corner, you stop hearing his quiet voice coming from the kitchen.

“I can’t, Gems. I can’t fucking do it,” you hear him, his voice muffled and something odd lacing through it. “But it’s so fucking hard!” he snaps after a short silence and you assume his sister told him something through the phone. “I don’t want this…” he breathes out and you realize that he is crying.

He lets out a quiet sob and you dare to step forward and look in his way in the kitchen. He is hunched over with his back facing you, a hand gripping the edge of the counter while the other one his holding his phone to his ear. He looks so broken, like just a ghost of himself, nothing like the unbothered man you saw just a little while ago. Seeing him like this breaks your heart even more and you don’t even know what to do or say, so you just stand there, eavesdropping on his conversation with his sister.

“I don’t know how she would react. You really think it’s a good idea?” he asks, sniffing his nose and his hand flies from the countertop to his face, wiping his cheeks harshly. “I don’t… Fuck, this is so bad, Gems.”

You feel your throat closing up, you are dying to know what Gemma is saying on the other end of the call.

“I know,” he replies to something. “Of course I do. How can I not? This was never supposed to happen.” Another silence. “I fucking know, Gems, but I felt so dumbfounded, I literally couldn’t think straight!”

You suck on your breath, trying your best to put the bits and pieces together. If he is talking about what you think, you are about to break out into sobs any moment.

“Alright,” he sighs, head falling back a little as he is probably blinking away his tears. The urge to just go up behind him and hug his waist, pressing your cheek against his shoulder blades, like you always do whenever he is washing the dishes or making breakfast for the two of you, is getting hard to fight.

He ends the call and before you could even realize, your feet are taking you forward in his direction. Your knee cracks when you take a bigger step and it makes his head snap around. You freeze right where you are, a few feet away from him, holding your empty mug in your hands, staring back at him at a lack of words. Now that he is facing you it’s clear that he was indeed crying, the redness around his eyes and glistening cheeks of his give him away instantly.

“Oh, um, hey. You need help with anything?” he asks, wiping his cheeks again, though there’s no use in trying to hide the signs.

“Harry, what was that about?” you softly ask as he keeps his eyes fixated on the tiled floor in front of him.

“Just… Gemma.”

“What was never supposed to happen?” you ask ignoring how he tried to dodge your question. He draws a shaky breath, looking anywhere but at you and you hate it. You need to see those green eyes on you. So stepping closer you turn his head by his chin so his glassy gaze meets yours.

Harry opens his mouth two times, but closes it until he finally speaks up for the third time.

“There’s something I want to give you,” he tells you, caching you by surprise.

“You didn’t answer me.”

“Just…” he breathes out in defeat. “Let me give it to you, okay? And I’ll answer all your questions after that.”

Silently you nod and watch him shuffle into his bedroom, hearing him open a drawer and then he appears with a tiny box in his hands. It’s deep blue, with a pretty little white bow on top. He gestures for you to sit on the couch with him, so you silently obey and the two of you sit on each sides of his plush couch.

“Here,” he whispers handing you the box. Glancing up at him you try to put the picture together, but you fail to see what this is about so you go ahead and take off the lid.

At first you don’t realize what it is that you are looking at. There is a set of keys on a chain along with a little silver heart, your name engraved into it. A second passes by, then another and you gasp when realization hits you.

“Harry, what is this?” you ask, not really meaning that what’s in the box, because you figured it’s the keys to his place, but you can’t figure out why he just gave this to you.

“I’ve had them made for over two months. Wanted to give them to you on Christmas as a surprise. This was my plan all along and this is why I tried to push the conversation back. There was nothing to talk about, I wanted you here, I just wanted it to be a surprise for you. But then we had that stupid fight and I knew I should have just told you the truth, but I was shocked and couldn’t think properly. I never wanted us to end up like this and when I realized what I did you were already… gone.”

The tears start soaking your cheeks within a moment as you clutch onto the keys for dear life, listening to Harry.

“I was an idiot. I wanted to call you and tell you why I didn’t want to talk about the moving, but then I thought you wouldn’t believe me and say that I was just trying to save what was left of us. Fuck, that was my biggest mistake ever. I haven’t stopped beating myself up about it and I’ve been so miserable without you, Y/N. You can’t even imagine.”

“I think I can,” you choke out with a bitter laugh. “I regretted it the moment I said those words. But I was too proud to admit it and you seemed just fine with it.”

“Oh I was miles away from being fine,” he breathes out, his body falling forward as he leans his elbows onto his thighs. “I didn’t stop crying until like six in the morning, Y/N. After you left, I felt like I had nothing left.”

You sob at his words, putting the keys aside as you crawl into his arms, swinging a leg over him so you can straddle him and sit on his lap. His strong arms curl around your frame instantly, an instinct he has had for a while now and three weeks wasn’t enough to get rid of it, luckily. He pulls you close as you bury your face into the crook of his neck, sobbing and crying uncontrollably.

“I’m sorry I ever made you think I’m not planning my future with you. You are my future, Y/N. All of it.”

“Stop!” you choke out laughing. “I can’t cry any harder!” you say, making him laugh as well. His hand slides to the back of your neck, threading his fingers into your hair.

“Oh baby, I don’t want you to cry at all,” he chuckles softly, pulling you to his chest once again. “I want you to be happy, preferably with me, but if you tell me to fuck off, I still understand.”

“Don’t you dare say that,” you smack his chest gently. “I love you way too much to ever say that.”

“Fuck, you don’t know how amazing it is to hear that,” he breathes out as his hands move up to cup your face and he finally pulls you into a sweet, i-missed-you-so-fucking-much-don’t-ever-leave-me-again kiss that makes the whole world spin around you. Just like that, the universe falls into perfect balance and all the suffering and pain you had to go through, it vanishes the moment Harry’s lips touch yours again, something you truly thought would never happen again.

“So, have you found a place yet?” he asks, a little out of breath from the kisses you two just shared. Resting his forehead against yours he looks into your eyes with his piercing green ones that you missed so dearly.

“I was supposed to move to my sister’s temporarily, but I guess I can give her a call that she won’t have to put up with me after all,” you chuckle making Harry laugh as well. “When do you want me to move?”

“Like right now,” he replies instantly, making your heart flutter. “But whenever you want to, it doesn’t matter as long as you don’t change your mind about it.”

“Then how about after Christmas?”

“Perfect,” he breathes out pecking your lips again.

“I guess we have to rearrange our Christmas plans too. Unless… you don’t want me to go home with you.”

“None of that shit anymore, baby. I want you with me all the time,” he blurts out making you smile. He will never hold anything back from now on, this mishap taught you both a lesson about communication and honesty. He turns to look out the window and you follow his gaze realizing the blizzard has completely snowed the two of you in. “I think we might be trapped here for a while,” he states, a small smirk tugging on his lips.

“Oh no, what a disaster!” you moan, voice still shaky from the crying, but your comment makes the both of you laugh.

“Luckily, you still have all your stuff here,” he huffs looking back at you.

“Mhm, luckily,” you breathe out before pulling him down for another kiss.

Thank you for reading, let me know what you thought about it!

#harry #styles #harry styles #harry styles fanfiction #harry styles imagine #harry styles fanfic #harry styles oneshot #harry styles one shot #harry styles fluff #harry styles angst #harry styles x you #harry styles x y/n #harry styles x reader #fanficmas2020 #fanficmas 2020 #watchmegetobsessed fanficmas #watchmegetobsessed fanficmas 2020

862 notes · View notes

dramaticsnakes · 3 years

Text

A robot's endless efforts to smile acceptably

This fic has been a long time coming, in the sense that it’s the first thing I post for this AU since late 2020. I am not sure if it’s anything my followers recall and I think the taglist I made for it has faded into obscurity. I will tag the people on the taglist that still have their URL from back then, and they are all welcome to tell me to remove them from the taglist, in case there will be any new installments again in the near future.

The AU in question is “A victorian steampunk fantasy scientists and robots AU” (click that link for the previous fic written for it)

This will serve as a prequel of sorts! It can potentially work on its own for that reason, but I do recommend my previous one. I’m still kind of proud of it and it has a lot of loceit banter.

Thank you so much to @rainbowbutterfrosting for beta-reading and for adding to the ending!

Read on AO3

Characters: Patton, Roman, and some original human characters

Warnings: Strong feelings of inferiority, distress, implied forced memory loss, mistreatment

Summary:

It was January 15th of 1887, when Patton was created. When he heard the voice of a human for the first time and clung onto it like nothing else. He learned how to function properly, and how to stay aware of his shortcomings. Yet something is amiss at the facility, and a robot much like him is malfunctioning in strange ways.

A prequel to “How two exasperated doctors adopted three robots” detailing Patton’s creation and early existence.

Word count: 4019

It was January 15th of 1887, when Patton was created. It was that day he first recognized a human voice. Nothing else but that voice mattered, he decided, because he wasn’t sure what the rest of the passing lines of code and words within him meant. The human voice made sense, so he listened carefully, even if he couldn’t quite understand it all.

“Is it on?” a voice asked.

“Hm, its eyes don’t seem to be working,” another one said.

“Can it speak?” the first voice asked, “Patton. Speak.”

Something within Patton started circulating because it appeared to realize that he was ‘it’ and ‘it’ was ‘Patton’. “Hello.”

“It has to be capable of saying more than that,” the second voice noted.

“Patton. Introduce yourself.”

“Hello. I am Patton. What can I do for you?” he responded mechanically.

“Better. Go fix the wiring for the eyes, will you?”

Patton didn’t feel anything as that was done. In fact, he wasn’t entirely sure what feelings were, or why that word came to his mind. His eyes opened, or well, maybe they didn’t open as much as they lit up, and suddenly he saw everything, and everything was so colorful even in the dark lighting. Two humans were staring at him. He knew they were humans for some reason, just as he’d known the voices belonged to humans. Humans. Those were important, Patton knew. He could tell they mattered from the second they spoke, and from the sight of them, and their hair and eyes. He could tell from their postures, and their clear expressions, that Patton immediately tried to imitate. He liked the way their mouths moved, and the way their eyebrows furrowed. He tried to mimic it, though he wasn’t sure if he succeeded or not. One of the human’s smiled, however. Patton liked the smile. The smile was a good thing. He knew that.

“It’s already using its face. Curious,” the one who smiled said. That human was on the right, though Patton couldn’t see the human’s outline that clearly. The humans blurred together with everything around them. So many colors, so much movement even though everything was still and isolated.

Isolated. That was another word, Patton wasn’t sure he knew the meaning of.

“Smile, Patton.” The human instructed. “Do you know what a smile is?”

Patton did. He felt happy at the thought that he knew. He knew what the human wanted, and he was going to be of use. He tried to mimic the expression, smiling wide. The human didn’t look happy at first. “No, not like that.” Patton looked, as the human’s hands tried to fix his expression. Once the human had fixed it, Patton kept the expression on, to make sure he was being useful. “Good. Smiling is polite. It makes you look friendlier.”

Patton took note of that.

“Patton, I will introduce myself to you, and you will address me by the name I give, is that clear?” the human on the left said.

Patton felt something within him twisting and turning at the words, and he nodded eagerly. “Of course.”

“Dr Marigolds,” the human stated.

“Of course, Dr Marigolds. What can I do for you?”

“Good. It asks the right questions,” the one on the right remarked.

“It does.” Dr Marigolds said, “It seems to be working alright. Quite impressive work, even though there are probably still a few issues to work out. Some of the movements are strange. They wouldn’t like that.”

Dr Marigolds walked behind Patton, and it didn’t take long before Patton didn’t exist anymore.

For the moments before that though, he was aware of something else. Something dream-like and strange, pumping through his body.

It was January 17th of 1887, when Patton heard a human voice again. He clung onto it right away, because he needed it, and he knew he needed it. He wasn’t sure why he knew, but it didn’t matter, because it was important. Humans were important.

“Ah, how is it working?” the voice asked. It wasn’t Dr Marigolds or that other human. This one was different. New and interesting. Something about it was cold and nonchalant, but even those kinds of voices were beautiful, Patton decided. All the human voices were beautiful. Patton’s eyes lit up once again, and he saw everything. The lights, colors and blurry images still overwhelmed him, but he could see it all, and he liked it. He liked seeing and listening, and he knew him getting to do so was fleeting. It had disappeared before so easily. He didn’t mind of course, because that was how it was meant to be.

“You can address me as Miss.” the voice commanded, “Bring me some coffee from the table over there.” the human, Miss, pointed in some direction, and Patton followed with his eyes right away, because everything within him told him to do so. He saw some vague shapes ahead of him, but he couldn’t quite see what it was. Still, he walked towards it, because he’d been beckoned to do so, and Patton needed that somehow. Needed the way the gears twisted, and to hear the human voice. To listen.

He stepped closer and closer, until he felt himself stopping, not because his legs stopped moving, but because something was blocking his way. He heard a groan. Bad. That was a bad thing. “Ugh, why won’t it just work.” Miss sighed. Patton stopped moving looking at the blur ahead of him. “Marigolds, go fix it please.”

“I don’t know what’s wrong with it, but it always happens when you test something the first time,” Dr Marigolds said. Dr Marigolds was there, Patton realized then.

Dr Marigolds stepped closer to him and started unscrewing his back. Patton waited. He didn’t work right, so the human would fix him. That was what they did. They fixed things like him when they didn’t function properly. “Ugh, I’m not sure what its problem is.” Dr Marigolds muttered, “It should be a simple task. It’s in its programming.” Dr Marigolds looked directly at Patton, “Patton, why can’t you do the task.”

Patton felt his programming and tried to understand the gears in his body. He looked at the blurry task ahead of him. “Where?” he said, because it was the first word that made it through his vocabulary system.

Dr. Marigolds looked confused, “Where? Oh…” Dr Marigolds looked directly into Patton’s eyes, humming. “Kale, get me some new lenses, these ones don’t work.”

After a few minutes, Patton couldn’t see at all, after which he could suddenly see again, but it was different. He could make out the details on Dr Marigold’s face, and Patton liked it. He liked the human face quite a lot. “Patton, if something like this happens again and you mess up for any reason, you apologize. It’s not a good look if you don’t.”

“I… Apologize,” Patton repeated.

“Good,” Dr Marigolds stated, with a satisfied nod, stepping back.

Patton could now see the table in front of him, along with the cup and everything he needed to make some coffee. For some reason how he should make it was clear in his mind. Probably because of the programming Dr Marigolds mentioned. He moved his arms as quickly as he could to finally complete his task. Once he had a cup of coffee, he walked to Miss and handed over the cup. “I apologize for the wait, Miss.”

Miss took the cup from him and sipped it. “Excellent work, Dr Marigolds. It has a few issues still, but for a prototype this is beyond what I imagined.”

“We’re working to improve the model.” Dr Marigolds said, “But I am pleased with the result thus far.”

Patton smiled. He was supposed to do that he remembered. He had to get used to the feeling of it.

There was that word again. Feeling. He wasn’t sure if he could feel anything when he did it, physically. He wasn’t supposed to at least, so it was a different sort of ‘feeling’. He decided to shake it off, because feeling wasn’t in his programming as far as he knew, which meant he didn’t need it.

Maybe he needed some of them. He needed satisfaction to know that he’d done a great job, and he needed the disappointment to know that he hadn’t. One left him with turning gears that made something within him feel like it was soaring, while the other twisted something around within him. It made him learn, and that was crucial.

That was a part of his purpose he learned later on. Learning. Dr Marigolds and the other human who he was asked to call Kale, talked about it a lot. How Patton was supposed to learn. They’d tell him something, and he’d listen, and thus he’d fulfil his purpose well.

Patton did well for the most part. At least he did everything in a satisfactory way because the disappointment and the groans only came a few times. Silence was a good sign, Patton quickly learned. It was sometimes best when words weren’t directed at him. If the humans addressed another human after he did something, it meant he hadn’t failed, and that was good.

It was January 29th of 1887, when Patton made one of his many mistakes, and received a punishment for it, because that was what he deserved. That was what the humans said. It wasn’t even really a punishment. Punishments were something humans got, and Patton couldn’t feel, so it didn’t matter too much. They simply told him to remain silent, as they told him what he’d done wrong. After that, he was left in the isolated room he’d awoken in the first time, but they left him on. He wasn’t sure why. He didn’t understand what purpose that served, but he stayed put, because that was what he had been asked to do.

Patton was aware of time. He’d always been aware of time and dates. It was a part of his programming. And he was aware, that 23 hours passed, between the humans leaving him on in the room, and finally returning to him. He felt alone, and he needed something desperately. Everything inside him was still because he needed something and he wasn’t getting it, and that didn’t feel good.

Patton had always known that a human voice was good, and a lack of one was bad, yet silence was still good, as long as the humans were present. It was good when he didn’t receive any feedback because it meant he was doing the bare minimum. He was fulfilling his purpose, and that was what he was always supposed to do. No matter what. The purpose of Patton was to assist humans with anything. He knew that and he did his best to do that.

They started letting him roam freely in a few rooms with scientists. He walked around between them, waiting for them to grant him a request. Waited for them to tell him what to do. And he always obliged.

It was nice to have a purpose. He needed it. Needed the words and the voice and the people. The orders. He loved them, because everything within him told him that he did.

“An impressive one. Presentable to the public and everything. The smile could be improved though.” a voice noted. Patton felt a stinging sensation, as he tried smiling wider, to which the same voice laughed. “It almost understands it.”

The owner of the voice, adjusted Patton’s smile, and Patton tried to remember it. He needed to copy it exactly, because he needed to function properly, just as the humans intended.

“What is your purpose?” a voice would ask him.

And he would say, “To assist humans.” Which soon evolved into a longer, and better explanatory phrase, because he needed to explain it properly to be understood. It was significant that humans understood what he was saying, so that they knew what he could be used for. He was taught to be as concise and simple to understand as possible, because his robotic brain wasn’t advanced enough to communicate with humans, unless he learned.

There were more robots coming, he was told. It became a regular thing, for humans to turn Patton off and use the technology within him as a reference.

Of course, the new robots would be a little more important than him.

Because that was another thing Patton had come to understand. Something he understood to his very core, because it was a part of him. An essential one. He existed for others. He was there to assist humans. He was just a robot, and robots didn’t feel. He was a robot made with the purpose to assist, and thus nothing else twisting within him was relevant. If a human was in need, he would serve them without hesitation, no matter what that would mean for him.

He’d tried it too. Stepping in front of humans, to take the punch as a misplaced sharp object flew towards them. Never mentioning when there was a glitch in his programming, because it shouldn’t be relevant to anyone.

Sometimes the humans corrected him. Told him how to avoid unnecessary hurt, because if he was hurt, he couldn’t help as efficiently. That would make him useless and stupid, and he couldn’t afford to be either of those things.

He learned all sorts of things from humans. How to adjust his posture, how to be polite, how to smile, how to look, how to apologize for his mistakes. He needed to be excited to take it all in. He always wanted to thank the humans for it, and he did at times. Thanking humans was also necessary because they needed to know that they were important. Patton wanted them to know they were important. That he understood that humans understood so much more than he ever could.

Patton was just a simple prototype after all. There would probably be thousands like him, built better, later on. He wasn’t that relevant in the grand scheme of things at all. Or in the small scheme of things. He was just Patton, and that was alright.

Patton was nothing, and he understood that. That was the most important thing for him to understand.

It was June 25th of 1887 at 11:35pm, when Patton heard a scream. What was remarkable about the scream, was that it wasn’t a human scream. That was strange, because he wasn’t sure what else the scream could be. It was loud, and Patton had a hard time discerning exactly which emotion was behind it. He noticed a human rushing in the direction of it, and Patton didn’t like the distress the human displayed.

There was a lot of distress hanging in the air. Patton wasn’t sure how else it could be described or exactly how he knew, but it made something within him twist. He followed the humans, because it was with them, he was usually needed. He made it to the opening of a gate, and as he looked right through, he saw two humans, struggling to turn off a robot.

Oh. A robot.

Patton tilted his head, trying to get a good look at the robot he hadn’t seen before. Perhaps it was new, or perhaps it just hadn’t been released in spaces where Patton was present yet. It had taken Patton a little while to be allowed to roam free after all, and humans had no obligation of informing Patton about their new creations.

The robot was built a little taller than Patton. A little less unassuming. In fact, Patton would’ve guessed by the bright white clothes, with the metallic sash placed from his shoulder down to the hip, that this robot was meant to be seen in a way Patton wasn’t. Though the clothing wasn’t the part that was easiest to notice. This robot had a ferocious expression. Angry, frustrated…

Scared.

Patton didn’t like that. Why would anyone have asked the robot to have an expression like that?

It dawned upon Patton, as one human finally managed to flick the switch on the back of the robot, that no one had. This wasn’t meant to happen at all.

The robot must’ve been broken, so now the humans were going to fix it.

A frantic human turned to Patton, looked surprised by his presence, and ordered Patton to go clean hall C. It was a bit away from there, so Patton naturally turned away.

Though the image of the robot still lingered. Patton wondered if he’d get to see it again, but that was a silly thought. It wouldn’t matter too much if he did.

It was June 30th of 1887, when Patton saw the robot again, though it was hardly his intention.

Patton had been asked to clean the floor near the very same closed off room he had seen the robot before. Most places looked the same, so he couldn’t quite recall that this was the place. He was polishing the walls, when he heard something from within a room nearby, and figured he might as well clean that too. The human had given him an unspecific instruction, so doing more was likely better than doing less.

He opened the door, only to be met with the sight of the same robot he had seen before. The robot turned hi- its head, and the second it saw Patton, its expression grew worried, surprised. Patton was just about to close the door, feeling, knowing that this was not something he was supposed to see, when the robot said “Wait!”, and that made Patton stay put on instinct. Even though the voice hadn’t come from a human, it resembled one enough to catch Patton off guard. “You’re… You’re like me!”

Patton stared at the robot, the light in the other’s eyes colliding with his. Despite never quite seeing his own eyes up close, Patton could simply tell that their eyes were almost the same. He didn’t know why. It confused him, but he continued to smile. “In a sense.” Patton said, because it seemed the robot had not been taught the same things as him.

“I- I thought they would’ve taken anyone else away too!”

Patton’s systems seemed to pause for a mere moment as he tilted his head. “What do you mean?” he asked, though the words were hesitant. This wasn’t a human, he reminded himself. He was likely allowed questions. Perhaps his desire to know was an issue that needed to be fixed. The robot’s words didn’t make sense, after all. If he didn’t understand them, he probably wasn’t meant to know.

“They took him!” the robot tried, “They discarded him after I’d gone through my early testing stages.”

“Who is… Him?” Patton asked, “And they?”

“The humans they- they took the robot I was with, and they discarded him.”

“Ah! I see!” Patton exclaimed, feeling as if he’d grasped the situation more. He nodded understandingly, “It’s a simple misinterpretation, really. There’s no reason to perform as upset.”

“This is not one of my performances.” The robot stated, narrowing his eyes with confusion.

Patton did not ask what he meant. “See, the humans must have taken away the robot because he wasn’t working! They are either fixing him or working on a better model right now! Things will eventually turn out as planned.”

“No, you… You don’t understand.” The robot explained, slowly, “It’s not about what they have planned. I don’t want him to be gone.”

Patton inspected the robot a little longer, “What have you been named?” he asked cautiously.

“I’m… Roman.” The robot, Roman, said.

Patton nodded along, “Have they not fixed you yet, Roman?”

“What?”

Patton was confused, really. If there was one function that Patton had been told all robots had in common, it was that they were not meant to question humans. Humans knew what they were doing. The simple code within any robot could never imitate such a thing. “They were turning you off, last I saw you.” Patton explained, “They do that when they need to fix you.”

“Yes that’s- that’s exactly the point!” Roman beamed, as if Patton was finally understanding something, “I’m currently being tested, but they’re going to come back for me! Please, you need to help me.”

“Help… You?”

“Yes! You’re like me. We can think of something together!” Roman took a step forward. He spoke in hushed words, and Patton was uncertain who or what they were directed at, “Where we are, there’s daggers in men’s smiles. The near in blood, the nearer bloody.”

The final words made no sense, strung together in a prose-like manner. It was strange. It seemed Roman was making a request. Asking for Patton’s assistance. Patton wanted to help. It was odd, that he wanted to, when he heard the distress in Roman’s voice.

But Roman wasn’t human, and his request for help was misguided.

“Don’t worry.” Patton smiled, reassuringly, “It’ll be better soon. The humans will make you work again, and maybe they’ll let us meet again, when you’re done.”

And so, Patton turned away and walked out of the room, closing the door. He hoped he hadn’t seen more than he was meant to.

The memory of the eyes that were similar to his, but not quite the same, lingered.

It was July 11th of 1887, when Patton met Roman again. Roman seemed happier than before, a smile on his face as he recited poetry. Patton had been tasked with serving the food, while the humans were being entertained by Roman. Roman was an entertainment robot, Patton learned. Built to keep humans entertained, by reciting all sorts of things the humans had written themselves. Patton listened too. He laughed along at the parts the humans laughed at, but he tried his best to remain unnoticed still.

Roman and Patton were not left alone to talk, and it seemed Roman was aware that they shouldn’t. When humans were around, there was no point in it. It would simply be interrupting their individual purpose.

They were placed in the same room after that though. A sort of storage area where they were meant to wait for a while.

“I’m glad you are feeling better.” Patton stated, because he felt that he was.

“Better?” Roman looked at Patton with a hint of confusion before it dissolved, “Ah yes, I remember you. You…” the robot trailed off.

“We met on June 30th of 1887,” Patton informed, glad to be of service.

“R-right.” Roman said with a nod, “I think I remember. I think they turned me off for a while. I’m not sure what day it is.”

“Telling the time is not a part of your purpose, but that’s alright!” Patton smiled, “I think your functions are fun. Your language center is expansive.”

Roman seemed proud at that, ”A sincere thank you, kind Patton. You are quite impressive yourself.”

Patton laughed. He usually only did it when he attempted to imitate humans, but it seemed he did it on his own. He hoped it was not a malfunction.

Patton hoped he’d get to see Roman again.

He did. They’d done well, working together.

More robots were going to come, of course. Because Patton and Roman were only prototypes.

Patton hoped the two of them would be able to give the humans the information needed, to build ones that were better, without the malfunctions.

To build ones without the faint sensation, the buzz that coursed Patton’s wiring whenever he spoke to Roman. There was not an extra surge of electricity. He only received those in the beginning of testing of his circuitry, and even then, he could always read the new number of watts flowing between his processor and his movements. It was surely a glitch in the programming, but Patton found himself not relaying the information to the humans. He still completed his job, yet he had an odd thought that the feeling was not meant to be there at all. That perhaps the collision of himself and Roman had constructed a pathway that not even his code could detect.

#sanders sides #patton sanders #roman sanders #steampunk au #a victorian steampunk fantasy scientists and robots au #dramaticwriting

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keanureevesisbae · 3 years

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sugar sugar - the planning 2.0

Summary: It’s a new year and the engaged couple are moving forward with their wedding planning.

Sugar Daddy!Henry Cavill x Becky Kim (asian OFC)

Warnings: Smut (like vibrator(s), slight anal play, squirting, slight punishment)

Wordcount: 3.8k

Masterlist // Sugar Sugar Masterlist // Sugar Sugar the wedding Masterlist // Previous chapter // Next chapter

January 6th 5 p.m.

The entirety that is left of December I’ve been a slightly emotional mess. Okay, remove slightly, because I’m an emotional mess. Period. I don’t know what caused it. Maybe it’s the fact that we have our invitations ready. Maybe it’s because Christmas spend as an engaged couple was a little overwhelming. Maybe spending New Years together in a club with my friends and my fiancé was too much of a change after spending them in pretty much solitude for many years.

So, it doesn’t surprise me at all that I have been bawling non stop for one of my final fittings for my wedding dress. It’s absolutely gorgeous. It hugs me in all the right places and I feel like such a bride in it.

When I walk into Henry’s office, I see he is alone with some paperwork. Henry looks up from his desk and smiles widely when he notices it’s me. ‘Hi sweetheart. How was the dress fitting?’

Oh goodness, there are the tears again. ‘Oh no, I’m sorry.’

He perks up in his seat, immediately alert because of the tears. ‘Was it no good?’ he asks me, ushering me over.

‘No, honey, it was amazing. The dress is so beautiful.’ I sit on his desk after he cleaned it up for me and I let out a deep sigh. ‘It’s just one step closer to becoming a bride.’

He nods with a smile. ‘It sure is. I can’t wait to marry you.’ Henry examines my face and he asks: ‘Are you sure you’re alright?’

‘Yeah, I’m totally okay. It’s just that I’ve been super duper emotional these passed few weeks. It’s just me being idiotic, so please just indulge me.’

‘I don’t think it’s idiotic,’ he says. ‘But when my future wife isn’t feeling well, I might as well make sure she feels better. Is there something I can do, baby girl?’

‘It’s fine, it’s fine,’ I chuckle. ‘Just silly old me being overly emotional, so let’s forget it. On another note, how are you doing? You have a lot of work to do?’

He nods. ‘Yeah, but I can take it home with me. The walls are closing me in, so to speak.’

‘How about,’ I say, ‘you and I go have something to eat? I’m starving.’

Henry agrees to that a little too quickly. In lightening speed, he packed his suitcase and holds me hand as we walk towards the elevator. People in the company slowly began to notice that I was dating the boss and they have all been very supportive.

To our faces, but I think they mean it.

Once Henry and I got in his car, he doesn’t start it up immediately. I want to ask him what’s wrong, but he gives me a desperate kiss on my lips. ‘Are you alright?’ I ask him.

‘I just missed you a lot,’ he says. ‘Might’ve had some never ending phone calls. I’m glad to finally see you. I might be a little obsessed with you.’

I blush. ‘I’m such a lucky woman,’ I admit.

Henry now does start the car and as he drives through the busy New York streets, he asks me where I want to eat. I simply shrug, telling him he can decide. He gets this slightly smug grin on his lips, but it’s not new to me.

Ever since our little conversation, where I just called it as it is (he is pretty much a dom and I’m probably the biggest sub he’ll ever encounter), he has been actively enjoying it a lot more. Every time I say he can decide, every time I ask him to make a phone call for me, every time I ask his opinion on some clothing, it kinda feeds his ego.

Of course it’s not exactly like they describe it online, but with the way we do it, it feels so natural with him. It’s exactly the way I like it.

We stop at one of my favorite places to eat and when Henry and I walk in, the waiter seems to recognize us. He even asks us if we want the usual, which we both want. Henry and I are seated next to each other and we stare at the aquarium.

Henry has his arm wrapped around my shoulders, as he sighs deeply in content. We’re sitting pretty secluded, just the way Henry likes it. Privacy is a big deal to him and I don’t disagree with it. When my friends and I go out to the clubs he can get us into, he makes sure there is a safe spot for us to sit, lots of privacy and sometimes it comes with a bouncer, making sure no unwanted guests are joining us.

‘You’re tired,’ I note, my eyes following the clownfish that is swimming around. ‘Can I help you with something?’

‘No, no, baby, don’t you worry about me,’ he says. He presses a kiss on my forehead, before whispering in my ear: ‘Daddy’s alright, baby girl.’

My friends know about us, about me calling him daddy every now and then, but they had yet to catch us. Until a few days ago, where I forgot they were around and I mindlessly let it slip when he was preparing some breakfast for us. The audible gasp both Genevieve and Viola let out, caused me to actually wanting to die of shame and they haven’t let it go ever since.

But hearing him refer to himself as daddy, makes me forget all about that mortifying moment, and simply lets me appreciate what we have.

Henry and I enjoy our food, sip on our drinks as we share some simple stories of today. ‘What are your plans for later today?’ he asks me. ‘Or tomorrow?’

‘Not much, since the boss isn’t allowing me to “overwork” myself.’

He chuckles. ‘I heard the weather is gonna be killing tomorrow. I already told the other employees they can work from home.’

‘Oh,’ I say, ‘so, you’re staying home too?’

‘I am. I was thinking about maybe starting on our guest list?’

‘Starting?’ I ask him. ‘You probably forgot about Genevieve being involved. We already have a guest list. We can maybe go look for the perfect wedding rings. Oh my, we could do that.’

‘Sounds good to me.’ He takes my hand in his, admiring the engagement ring. ‘We could go for something similar to each other, but yours much more dainty.’

‘You checked rings already?’

‘I might’ve,’ he admits. ‘Just want the best for you.’

‘I love you,’ I whisper, as my heart swells with love and adoration. ‘I love you so much.’

February 14th 9 p.m.

It’s that time again. It’s that time where Henry decided to use the vibrator again with remote control. The catch this time? We’re not in our penthouse, not at his office totally shut off for other people to come in. We’re at a restaurant celebrating my birthday.

He does this from time to time, simply because he seems to enjoy me suffering, however this is the first time we’re actually in public. We’re sitting next to one another, staring over the city at night, as my leg is moving up and down nervously. The vibrations come and go and each time I’m so close, he must sense it, because he turns it off completely.

‘Baby girl,’ he says in a dangerous tone, ‘careful with your lips, now. Don’t chew on them.’

I let out a sigh, followed by a pout. ‘You’re torturing me,’ I whimper.

Almost like he was waiting on me admitting it, because the vibrations slowly come back to life. ‘I am?’

I nod. ‘Please, let’s just get out of here. I already finished my dessert.’

‘But I haven’t.’ He leans back and takes a sip of his drink. ‘Have I told you you look absolutely stunning tonight?’

I look down my silver dress, that is pretty flashy, but in this restaurant everyone looks showy here. Compared to them, I look pretty modest. ‘Yes, you did,’ I say.

Henry gently leans down, giving me a kiss on my forehead. ‘I love you, you’re doing so well.’ I receive another kiss on the tip of my nose and he descends to my lips.

I whimper against him, as I push my legs together, desperate for some friction, some touch. Anything. ‘Daddy,’ I mumble against his lips.

‘You want to go home, baby?’

‘Yes, please.’

He smiles. ‘Okay, let me help you in your coat,’ he says, finally taking a bit of pity on me. ‘Baby girl, you’re doing so well.’

I stand up on wobbly legs and he helps me in my coat. I zip it up and the two of us walk out of this place. Henry holds my purse in his hand, while the other is securely placed on the small of my back. He tells the limo chauffeur to drive towards home and we get in the back.

As the limo starts to drive, Henry unzips my coat and smiles. ‘Let’s take this all off.’

‘All of it? I can’t. I have to get from the limo back to the apartment, remember?’

‘That is why you’re wearing a longer coat, baby girl,’ he retorts. ‘Take it off.’

I do as he tells me to. I take off the coat, before I push the straps of my dress down. Since this isn’t a dress that requires a bra, I’m left in nothing but my flimsy thongs. He orders me to give them to him and like usual, they end up in his pocket. He actually takes the damn time to neatly fold my dress so he can put it in my purse.

Besides my heels, I’m totally naked in the back of the limo. I think it’s good that Henry owns this limo and pays this driver a lot of money. I wonder if the driver knows what is up—especially since this isn’t the first time we’ve had some sexual escapades in the back—but there isn’t a lot of time to think about it, as Henry pulls me on his lap. His lips wrap around my hardened nipple, his teeth softly sinking into it. He turns on the vibrator, as his bulge pressing against my clit. His hands are kneading the flesh of my behind. It’s so messy. We’re so messy, but that is what I love about him. No matter how dirty it gets, he always wants more. More of me. More of us.

He spreads my asscheeks apart, before on of his fingers gently touches my puckered hole, before letting it slip passed the tight muscle. ‘One day,’ he whispers, ‘it’ll be a lot more than just my finger, baby.’

The moan that’s caused because of all that, is a lot louder than I originally intended and he gives me a firm and loud smack on my behind.

The driver definitely knows now what we’re doing.

‘Quiet, baby girl,’ he grunts, ‘otherwise this pretty ass of yours is gonna be very red and very painful for you to sit on.’

I nod, as I resit on his lap a little, causing the vibrator to shift a bit and it hits the exact right spot. Keeping it quiet is nearly impossible, especially because he has been teasing me the entire night. His hand lands on my ass again and again and again. ‘What did I just say?’

‘Sorry, daddy, it’s just that… I’m so close.’ I am already clenching around the toy and Henry kisses me to stop me from making to much noise. It’s barely working, as I ride out my high on his lap. He turns off the vibrator with a smile and his finger exits from my tight hole. He helps me in my coat and says: ‘I believe we’re almost home.’

With nothing but a very short coat on and the vibrator still buried deep inside of me, the two of us get out of the limo. I avoid eye contact with the driver, who despite his own best efforts, can’t hide the fact that he knows exactly what happened back there. After Henry gave him a ridiculously large tip, we walk towards the entrance of our building. It’s freezing cold and it’s not helping that the insides of my thighs are still a bit wet.

We step into the elevator and Henry stands behind me, his hand on my side, as a group of business men and women also step in. They are loud, meaning that Henry could easily turn on the vibrator and no one would notice.

Great minds must think alike, because he turns it on. I somehow manage to keep it sort of together, but it’s hard, especially with the way I feel my hardened nipples rub against the inside of my coat and Henry’s noticeable bulge pressed against my butt.

The carpet all of the sudden has all my attention.

The group steps off on the second floor and that leaves just the two of us. Henry steps in front of me, blocking the entrance as his hands slips underneath the hem of the coat. He pats my bare bottom a few times. ‘Good girl,’ he whispers.

‘Daddy,’ I whimper, ‘I’m close again.’

‘You better hold it.’

With the vibrator still on, I manage to wobble to the door of our apartment. The second the door closes, Henry nearly rips off my coat and cages me in between his arms and the wall. ‘Fuck, how did I get so lucky? You did well, baby girl. Daddy is so proud of you.’

‘Please,’ I beg, nearly in tears, ‘can I cum now?’

He gives me a soft peck on my lips, a sweet gesture compared to what he has been doing all night. ‘Of course.’

My legs start to shake, as I wrap my arms around his neck to keep me standing up. My eyes roll back, as the familiar feeling washes over me. ‘Oh daddy,’ I moan out, as I feel my juices squirt passed the vibrating egg, down my legs onto the floor. It’s all becoming too much, so I reach down to grab the string and pull it out.

As I’m panting, Henry seizes my wrist. ‘What did you do?’ he asks, turning the vibrator off. ‘Tell me, what did you do?’

Oh shit, I think something bad. ‘I couldn’t take it anymore, daddy.’

‘Then why didn’t you safe word?’

Why didn’t I? ‘I don’t know,’ I say, but when he cocks his eyebrow, I realize that won’t do. ‘It wasn’t necessary.’

He tsks, a sound he barely makes. ‘I’m disappointed in you, baby girl.’ He drags me with him to the bedroom and pushes me on the bed. Not gonna lie, this is turning me on way more than I originally expected. He holds my chin in between his fingers, as he forces me to look up. ‘If you don’t like something anymore,’ he says in a dangerously low tone, ‘then you safe word. But never ever take matters into your own hands like that.’

Fuck, this alone nearly causes my next orgasm. ‘I’m sorry, daddy.’

‘You’re damn right you’re sorry.’ He unbuttons his shirt, revealing his broad chest that over the course of the last few weeks only got broader and stronger. ‘And I’m gonna teach you a little lesson, baby girl.’

✤ ✤ ✤

After I don’t know how many orgasms with the vibrators (yes, plural), he turns them both off as I try to catch my breath. Him plunging my beloved vibrator deep inside of me. Him pressing the other one onto my super sensitive clit. He was torturing me, making me cum over and over and over again. Trying to teach me a lesson. The wet covers of the bed are the evidence of how many times I already came. He was slightly pissed at me, but also continued to whisper that I could safe word whenever I needed to.

Henry sits in between my legs and without much teasing or preparation enters me, burying himself deep inside of me. A gasp escapes my lips, as his girth is a world apart from the vibrator. He pushes his heavy chest onto mine, grabbing my hands and holding them with just one of his above my head.

Henry has never done such thing. Never took he this much control, never was he like this. But then again, never did I do something that would disappoint him. His lips are dangerously close and he says: ‘Tell me baby girl, whose pussy is this?’

What a question, but I know the answer. ‘Yours,’ I whisper. ‘Daddy, I’m so sorry.’

‘If you can’t take it anymore,’ he continues, ‘now or in the future, then you safe word. Promise me that.’

‘Yes, yes, yes, I promise.’

Henry gives me a kiss. It’s such a gentle move after the insane orgasm overstimulation act he just preformed on me. The throbbing pain is overruled by the sheer pleasure I feel of his thick length deep inside of me. ‘Are you gonna be a good girl for daddy?’

‘I will, I will. Always.’

His thrusts are slow, allowing me to take him all in and get used to his length. With every thrust, he brushes against my extremely sensitive clit, earning him soft whimper like moans. His lips press attentive kisses on my lips. ‘Good girl,’ he praises me, ‘such a good girl.’

My mind is so cloudy and foggy, but his lovely words still make an impact. ‘I love you.’

Henry smiles. ‘I love you too, baby girl. Fuck, I love you so much.’

He slowly speeds up his thrusts, only for him to become a lot rougher too. The room is filled with indecent and vulgar sounds, but that doesn’t stop him. No, it even encourages him more. Henry doesn’t stop, not even as I turn into a crying and sobbing mess underneath him.

I know what to do when it gets too much and while it definitely feels like too much, I love how he uses me like this. He is the only one that I’ll ever allow to do this. He is the only one who can have this much control over me.

My legs start to quiver and I don’t even have to tell him that I’m close. My vision turns completely white for a few moments, as I cry out. ‘Fuck!’

‘I know baby, I know. I’m close.’ The sound he makes as he bottoms out, painting me from the inside, is probably the sexiest thing I’ve ever heard. He crashes on top of me, making sure he doesn’t crush me under his weight. ‘You did well,’ he says with a proud smile. ‘Are you okay? I was’t too rough on you, was I?’

I try to catch my breath, but I shake my head. ‘No, no, you weren’t. Don’t you worry. I’m so sorry,’ I sniffle.

He pushes some hairs out of my face and gives me a kiss. ‘It’s okay.’

‘You’re not mad at me?’ I place my hand in the back of his neck. ‘I didn’t mean to.’

‘Baby, baby, baby,’ he says, ‘I know you didn’t. Just know that whenever you don’t feel good, it’s becoming too much for you, you safe word. I need you to safe word, baby. Do it for daddy, okay?’

‘Of course, I will,’ I say, swallowing hard. ‘You’re really not mad at me?’

‘Hey, hey, it’s all good,’ he says. ‘I’m not mad at you, never was. Stop worrying about it, okay? Please, baby girl.’

‘I just love you a lot and I hate to disappoint you.’

‘I know you do,’ he says with a smile. ‘I love you a lot as well. And because I’m your boss, I’m willing to give you a day off tomorrow.’

I start to laugh. ‘Oh, how gracious of you.’

‘Want a bath, darling? Or you want to go to the sauna?’

‘Maybe a sauna is nice, and a bath afterwards?’

Henry nods and pulls out, causing me to slightly shiver on the bed. ‘Sit still, okay? I’ll be right out.’

As I am relaxing on the bed, regaining some strength in my legs, Henry walks around, preparing the sauna and I hear he is actually turning on the jacuzzi as well for after the sauna. He carries me out of the bed and whispers he’ll clean the bed later on. He sits on one of the wooden benches, tucking me securely on his lap. I was already sweaty, but despite that, it’s nice to be hugged by the warm air provided by the sauna. I wrap my arms around his shoulders, giving him a kiss in his neck.

His fingertips run up and down my spine. ‘Baby girl, can you tell me why you didn’t safe word?’

‘I don’t know,’ I whisper.

‘You didn’t feel safe enough to do it?’

‘It kinda slipped my mind.’

Henry nods, pressing his lips on my hair line. ‘I only want what’s best for you,’ he says. ‘And if you’re overwhelmed, tell me, okay?’

I nod. ‘I will. I promise.’

✤ ✤ ✤

It’s late by the time the two of us get in bed. Since it’s winter after all, I dressed myself in one of his long sleeved shirts, while my personal heater is in nothing but some boxers. I place my head on his chest and his hand finds mine. He holds my fingers, as his thumb runs over the engagement ring.

‘Honey,’ I say, ‘want to hear about a dream I had the other day?’

‘Always.’

‘I dreamed about having kids last night with you.’

‘Really?’ he asks me. ‘Color me intrigued. What happened in that dream?’

‘Nothing much. Just you and me sitting on a porch, looking over the yard and seeing our kids run around, maybe even a dog.’

‘I keep thinking about that as well,’ he chuckles. ‘The whole idea of having kids with you makes me realize how fortunate I am that you’re gonna be my wife. When do you want to start trying?’

‘Maybe a few months after our wedding? I know that I probably won’t get pregnant straight away after I stopped taking the pill, but I’d like to enjoy a few more months of you and I as a married couple.’

He nods. ‘I agree. It’s just that I can’t wait for you and I to start a family. To spoil you and the children rotten.’

‘But we still have to keep them humble,’ I say. ‘I’m serious, Henry.’

‘Of course, of course,’ he quickly says. ‘They should never take anything for granted.’

I close my eyes, placing my leg over his. ‘Do you think we should move places?’

He nods. ‘Totally, because I want to make that dream of yours come true. I want a yard, so we can build treehouses, have toys scattered all around and what not.’

I smile. It’s like he is reading my mind. ‘When are we gonna start looking for a place?’

‘After the wedding?’ he suggests.

I nod. ‘After the wedding.’

#henry cavill #henry cavill fanfiction #henry cavill fandom #henry cavill x ofc #henry cavill fanfic #henry cavill x oc #henry cavill x asian ofc #henry cavill x becky kim #sugar daddy!henry cavill #becky kim #asian ofc #sugar sugar #sugar sugar the wedding

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sgt-paul · 4 years

Photo

MUSICIANS ON MUSICIANS: Paul McCartney & Taylor Swift

❝ During the shoot, Paul dances and takes almost none of it too seriously and sings along to Motown songs playing from the speakers. A few times Mary scolds, ‘Daaad, try to stand still!’ And it feels like a window into a pretty awesome family dynamic. ❞

interview below the cut:

Paul McCartney: Yeah!

McCartney: You were playing one of his songs, weren’t you?

McCartney: I mean, I think it’s a bit of everything, isn’t it? I’ll tell you who was very … Reese Witherspoon was like, “Are you going to sing?” I said “Oh, I don’t know.” She said, “You’ve got to, yeah!” She’s bossing me around. So I said, “Whoa,” so it’s a bit of that.

Swift: I love that person, because the party does not turn musical without that person.

McCartney: Yeah, that’s true.

Swift: If nobody says, “Can you guys play music?” we’re not going to invite ourselves up onstage at whatever living-room party it is.

McCartney: I seem to remember Woody Harrelson got on the piano, and he starts playing “Let It Be,” and I’m thinking, “I can do that better.” So I said, “Come on, move over, Woody.” So we’re both playing it. It was really nice.… I love people like Dan Aykroyd, who’s just full of energy and he loves his music so much, but he’s not necessarily a musician, but he just wanders around the room, just saying, “You got to get up, got to get up, do some stuff.”

Swift: Wow.

McCartney: Well, I’m very lucky because I have a studio that’s, like, 20 minutes away from where I live. We were in lockdown on a farm, a sheep farm with my daughter Mary and her four kids and her husband. So I had four of my grandkids, I had Mary, who’s a great cook, so I would just drive myself to the studio. And there were two other guys that could come in and we’d be very careful and distanced and everything: my engineer Steve, and then my equipment guy Keith. So the three of us made the record, and I just started off. I had to do a little bit of film music — I had to do an instrumental for a film thing — so I did that. And I just kept going, and that turned into the opening track on the album. I would just come in, say, “Oh, yeah, what are we gonna do?” [Then] have some sort of idea, and start doing it. Normally, I’d start with the instrument I wrote it on, either piano or guitar, and then probably add some drums and then a bit of bass till it started to sound like a record, and then just gradually layer it all up. It was fun.

Swift: That’s so cool.

McCartney: What about yours? You’re playing guitar and piano on yours.

Swift: Yeah, on some of it, but a lot of it was made with Aaron Dessner, who’s in a band called the National that I really love. And I had met him at a concert a year before, and I had a conversation with him, asking him how he writes. It’s my favorite thing to ask people who I’m a fan of. And he had an interesting answer. He said, “All the band members live in different parts of the world. So I make tracks. And I send them to our lead singer, Matt, and he writes the top line.” I just remember thinking, “That is really efficient.” And I kind of stored it in my brain as a future idea for a project. You know, how you have these ideas… “Maybe one day I’ll do this.” I always had in my head: “Maybe one day I’ll work with Aaron Dessner.”

McCartney: Yeah, that was the thing. You could do stuff — you didn’t really worry it was going to turn into anything.

Swift: That’s the coziest thing I’ve ever heard.

McCartney: Well, it’s like eight minutes long, and I said, “I hate it when I’m playing someone something and it finishes after three minutes.” I kind of like that it just [continues] on.

Swift: You want to stay in the zone.

McCartney: It just keeps going on. I would just come home, “Well, what did you do today?” “Oh, well, I did this. I’m halfway through this,” or, “We finished this.”

Swift: I was wondering about the numerology element to McCartney III. McCartney I, II, and III have all come out on years with zeroes.

McCartney: Ends of decades.

Swift: Was that important?

Swift: The numerology, the kind of look, the symbolism. I love numbers. Numbers kind of rule my whole world. The numbers 13 … 89 is a big one. I have a few others that I find…

McCartney: Thirteen is lucky for some.

McCartney: It’s spooky, Taylor. It’s very spooky. Now wait a minute: Where’d you get 89?

Swift: That’s when I was born, in 1989, and so I see it in different places and I just think it’s…

McCartney: No, it’s good. I like that, where certain things you attach yourself to, and you get a good feeling off them. I think that’s great.

Swift: Love a pseudonym.

McCartney: Yeah, for the fun! But, you know, let’s face it, you crave fame and attention when you’re young. And I just remembered the other day, I was the guy in the Beatles that would write to journalists and say [speaks in a formal voice]: “We are a semiprofessional rock combo, and I’d think you’d like [us].… We’ve written over 100 songs (which was a lie), my friend John and I. If you mention us in your newspaper…” You know, I was always, like, craving the attention.

Swift: The hustle! That’s so great, though.

McCartney: Well, yeah, you need that.

McCartney: Do you ever do that?

Swift: Oh, yeah.

McCartney: Oh, yeah? Oh, well, we didn’t know that! Is that a widely known fact?

Swift: [Laughs.] That’s a good one! I love it.

Swift: Thrilling, absolutely thrilling.

McCartney: And we didn’t mind, you know?

McCartney: You do that, do you?

McCartney: Well, that’s great, and I’m glad that set you on that path. I understand people who don’t want to do that, and if you do, they’ll say, “Oh, it’s a jukebox show.” I hear what they’re saying. But I think it’s a bit of a cheat, because the people who come to our shows have spent a lot of money. We can afford to go to a couple of shows and it doesn’t make much difference. But a lot of ordinary working folks … it’s a big event in their life, and so I try and deliver. I also, like you say, try and put in a few weirdos.

McCartney: Was this “I want to give you a child”? Is that one of the lines?

Swift: Oh, that’s a song called “Peace.”

McCartney: “Peace,” I like that one.

McCartney: So how does that go? Does your partner sympathize with that and understand?

Swift: Oh, absolutely.

McCartney: They have to, don’t they?

Swift: But I think that in knowing him and being in the relationship I am in now, I have definitely made decisions that have made my life feel more like a real life and less like just a storyline to be commented on in tabloids. Whether that’s deciding where to live, who to hang out with, when to not take a picture — the idea of privacy feels so strange to try to explain, but it’s really just trying to find bits of normalcy. That’s what that song “Peace” is talking about. Like, would it be enough if I could never fully achieve the normalcy that we both crave? Stella always tells me that she had as normal a childhood as she could ever hope for under the circumstances.

McCartney: Yeah, it was very important to us to try and keep their feet on the ground amongst the craziness.

Swift: She went to a regular school .…

McCartney: Yeah, she did.

Swift: And you would go trick-or-treating with them, wearing masks.

Swift: Ohhh!

Swift: Cares about that stuff?

Swift: I think that sounds like a perfect day.

Swift: That can’t happen in Downton Abbey.

McCartney: [Laughs.] Exactly.

McCartney: It was a bit of both. As it kind of always is with me. There’s no fixed way. People used to ask me and John, “Well, who does the words, who does the music?” I used to say, “We both do both.” We used to say we don’t have a formula, and we don’t want one. Because the minute we get a formula, we should rip it up. I will sometimes, as I did with a couple of songs on this album, sit down at the piano and just start noodling around, and I’ll get a little idea and start to fill that out. So the lyrics — for me, it’s following a trail. I’ll start [sings “Find My Way,” a song from “McCartney III”]: “I can find my way. I know my left from right, da da da.” And I’ll just sort of fill it in. Like, we know this song, and I’m trying to remember the lyrics. Sometimes I’ll just be inspired by something. I had a little book which was all about the constellations and the stars and the orbits of Venus and.…

Swift: Oh, I know that song — “The Kiss of Venus”?

Swift: Wow.

McCartney: It’s very magical.

Swift: That is magical. I definitely relate to needing to find magical things in this very not-magical time, needing to read more books and learn to sew, and watch movies that take place hundreds of years ago. In a time where, if you look at the news, you just want to have a panic attack — I really relate to the idea that you are thinking about stars and constellations.

McCartney: Did you do that on Folklore?

Swift: Yes. I was reading so much more than I ever did, and watching so many more films.

McCartney: What stuff were you reading?

Swift: I was reading, you know, books like Rebecca, by Daphne du Maurier, which I highly recommend, and books that dealt with times past, a world that doesn’t exist anymore. I was also using words I always wanted to use — kind of bigger, flowerier, prettier words, like “epiphany,” in songs. I always thought, “Well, that’ll never track on pop radio,” but when I was making this record, I thought, “What tracks? Nothing makes sense anymore. If there’s chaos everywhere, why don’t I just use the damn word I want to use in the song?”

McCartney: Exactly. So you’d see the word in a book and think, “I love that word”?

Swift: Yeah, I have favorite words, like “elegies” and “epiphany” and “divorcée,” and just words that I think sound beautiful, and I have lists and lists of them.

McCartney: How about “marzipan”?

Swift: Love “marzipan.”

McCartney: The other day, I was remembering when we wrote “Lucy in the Sky With Diamonds”: “kaleidoscope.”

Swift: “Kaleidoscope” is one of mine! I have a song on 1989, a song called “Welcome to New York,” that I put the word “kaleidoscope” in just because I’m obsessed with the word.

Swift: We should have done matching jackets for this photo shoot.

McCartney: Find me a fleck, I’m in. But we went to the fair, and I just remember — this is what happens with songs — there was this girl at the fair. This is just a little Liverpool fair — it was in a place called Sefton Park — and there was this girl, who was so beautiful. She wasn’t a star. She was so beautiful. Everyone was following her, and it’s like, “Wow.” It’s like a magical scene, you know? But all this gave me a headache, so I ended up going back to his house — I didn’t normally get headaches. And we thought, “What can we do?” So we put on the Elvis song “All Shook Up.” By the end of that song, my headache had gone. I thought, you know, “That’s powerful.”

Swift: That really is powerful.

McCartney: What, a “cardigan”?

Swift: Like a good cardigan, a good, worn-in cardigan. Or something that makes you reminisce on your childhood. I think sadness can be cozy. It can obviously be traumatic and stressful, too, but I kind of was trying to lean into sadness that feels like somehow enveloping in not such a scary way — like nostalgia and whimsy incorporated into a feeling like you’re not all right. Because I don’t think anybody was really feeling like they were in their prime this year. Isolation can mean escaping into your imagination in a way that’s kind of nice.

Swift: Get a hammer and a nail.

McCartney: “Maybe I can put that picture up.” It’s not rocket science. The period after the Beatles, when we went to live in Scotland on a really — talk about dumpy — little farm. I mean, I see pictures of it now and I’m not ashamed, but I’m almost ashamed. Because it’s like, “God, nobody’s cleaned up around here.”

But it was really a relief. Because when I was with the Beatles, we’d formed Apple Records, and if I wanted a Christmas tree, someone would just buy it. And I thought, after a while, “No, you know what? I really would like to go and buy our Christmas tree. Because that’s what everyone does.” So you go down — “I’ll have that one” — and you carried it back. I mean, it’s little, but it’s huge at the same time.

I needed a table in Scotland and I was looking through a catalog and I thought, “I could make one. I did woodwork in school, so I know what a dovetail joint is.” So I just figured it out. I’m just sitting in the kitchen, and I’m whittling away at this wood and I made this little joint. There was no nail technology — it was glue. And I was scared to put it together. I said, “It’s not going to fit,” but one day, I got my woodwork glue and thought, “There’s no going back.” But it turned out to be a real nice little table I was very proud of. It was that sense of achievement.

Swift: No, it’s cool!

McCartney: But it was a real sort of great thing for me to be able to do stuff for yourself. You were talking about sewing. I mean normally, in your position, you’ve got any amount of tailors.

Swift: Well, there’s been a bit of a baby boom recently; several of my friends have gotten pregnant.

McCartney: Oh, yeah, you’re at the age.

McCartney: What do you paint? Watercolors?

Swift: Acrylic or oil. Whenever I do watercolor, all I paint is flowers. When I have oil, I really like to do landscapes. I always kind of return to painting a lonely little cottage on a hill.

McCartney: She’s a fantasy character?

Swift: She’s a real person. Who lived in the house that I live in.

McCartney: She’s a real person? I listened to that and I thought, “Who is this?”

McCartney: Yeah, ’cause you were writing breakup songs like they were going out of style.

Swift: That’s amazing.

McCartney: It just felt good to me. I would sit and talk, and they’d have amazing stories. That’s what I liked. They would have stories from the wartime — because I was born actually in the war — and so these old ladies, they were participating in the war. This one lady I used to sort of just hang out with, she had a crystal radio that I found very magical. In the war, a lot of people made their own radios — you’d make them out of crystals [sings “The Twilight Zone” theme].

Swift: How did I not know this? That sounds like something I would have tried to learn about.

McCartney: It’s interesting, because there is a lot of parallels with the virus and lockdowns and wartime. It happened to everyone. Like, this isn’t HIV, or SARS, or Avian flu, which happened to others, generally. This has happened to everyone, all around the world. That’s the defining thing about this particular virus. And, you know, my parents … it happened to everyone in Britain, including the queen and Churchill. War happened. So they were all part of this thing, and they all had to figure out a way through it. So you figured out Folklore. I figured out McCartney III.

Swift: And a lot of people have been baking sourdough bread. Whatever gets you through!

McCartney: Some people used to make radios. And they’d take a crystal — we should look it up, but it actually is a crystal. I thought, “Oh, no, they just called it a crystal radio,” but it’s actually crystals like we know and love.

Swift: Wow.

McCartney: And somehow they get the radio waves — this crystal attracts them — they tune it in, and that’s how they used to get their news. Back to “Eleanor Rigby,” so I would think of her and think of what she’s doing and then just try to get lyrical, just try to bring poetry into it, words you love, just try to get images like “picks up the rice in the church where a wedding has been,” and Father McKenzie “is darning his socks in the night.” You know, he’s a religious man, so I could’ve said, you know, “preparing his Bible,” which would have been more obvious. But “darning his socks” kind of says more about him. So you get into this lovely fantasy. And that’s the magic of songs, you know. It’s a black hole, and then you start doing this process, and then there’s this beautiful little flower that you’ve just made. So it is very like embroidery, making something.

Swift: Making a table.

McCartney: Making a table.

Swift: Wow, it would’ve been so fun to play Glastonbury for the 50th anniversary together.

McCartney: It would’ve been great, wouldn’t it? And I was going to be asking you to play with me.

Swift: Were you going to invite me? I was hoping that you would. I was going to ask you.

McCartney: I would’ve done “Shake It Off.”

Swift: Oh, my God, that would have been amazing.

McCartney: I know it, it’s in C!

McCartney: Well, we’re just so lucky, aren’t we?

Swift: We’re really lucky.

McCartney: I don’t know if it ever happens to you, but with me, it’s like, “Oh, my god, I’ve ended up as a musician.”

Swift: Yeah, I can’t believe it’s my job.

Swift: “Something will happen.”

Swift: That’s the best.

McCartney: It’s so stupid it’s brilliant. It’s great if you’re ever in that sort of panic attack: “Oh, my God,” or, “Ahhh, what am I going to do?”

Swift: “Something will happen.”

McCartney: All right then, thanks for doing this, and this was, you know, a lot of fun.

Swift: You’re the best. This was so awesome. Those were some quality stories!

#paul mccartney #old paul #taylor swift #*m #💖#grandpaul #silver stubble #(aahh king)#(I LOVE HIM SO MUCH F*CK OFF EVERYONE)#(the thumbs lads. its always about the thumbs)

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lorei-writes · 3 years

Text

Lost Letters

Masamune x MC Fluff Parts of this work include suggestive content. [To avoid suggestive content, skip the following months: May, January.] Word Estimate: 2k

Honourable Customers,

We are pleased to inform You all the lost letters were successfully delivered.

Your trustworthy messengers, Azuchi-Kasugayama Postal Service Crew

Content Warnings: war mention, injury mention, suggestive content, food mention, anxiety mention

To my beloved Masamune. It is March now, and the frost has begun its retreat from the air. You are not here, and I do not expect to send this letter… Yet I miss you so much the words seem to be writing themselves without much help. In this very moment, I wish I could ask how your day was. It is one of those rare instances where I miss modern technology – my helplessness is simply disarming me completely. I console myself with the thought that you will be back tonight. I missed seeing your face so bad. There are so many things I want to tell you, my heart is overflowing. I don’t think I should let any of them spill, yet I cannot hold all either. So, even if just on this paper, I must confess: I love you, Masamune. I love you so much it hurts. I could not focus on anything but your return the entire day. I cannot let you see this letter. You will never let me forget it. Although maybe... Maybe I should.

To my beloved Masamune.

It is March now, and the frost has begun its retreat from the air. You are not here, and I do not expect to send this letter… Yet I miss you so much the words seem to be writing themselves without much help.

In this very moment, I wish I could ask how your day was. It is one of those rare instances where I miss modern technology – my helplessness is simply disarming me completely. I console myself with the thought that you will be back tonight. I missed seeing your face so bad. There are so many things I want to tell you, my heart is overflowing.

I don’t think I should let any of them spill, yet I cannot hold all either. So, even if just on this paper, I must confess: I love you, Masamune. I love you so much it hurts. I could not focus on anything but your return the entire day.

I cannot let you see this letter. You will never let me forget it. Although maybe... Maybe I should.

To my courageous Masamune.

It is April now, and you came back all beaten and tattered. Your muscles tensed whenever I touched your skin. The disinfectant seeping into your cuts did not help either, I suppose… But you hugged me tight all the same, and did not let go for long. Your breath tickled my neck as you held your ear pressed against my pulse. I wonder, how bad was it this time? But do not get me wrong. I do not mind, I can stay in your arms for however long you desire.

This time, however, it was different. I cannot describe the feeling that I felt when you looked up at me and simply said you feel terrible and need rest. You… Appeared so vulnerable? And I know it never comes easy to you to be in this state.

I love you so much. Thanks for coming back yet once again. I am writing this as you sleep only a few meters away. Please, rest well – and thank you for trusting me yet once again.

To my flirtatious Masamune.

It is May now, and the weather has got quite warm already. However, my dear tiger, treat this as a note of complaint! Although… You will never see it, hopefully. You would see all the other ones then.

Never mind that! How dare you! You big, unruly, sneaky…!!! You know my knees get weak when you kiss me, and yet…! In the middle of the crowd, at that! Truly, my “knees were not a problem” as you put it after lifting me up, but my face surely was! I was red like a crab, Masamune!

How dare you uphold that air of coolness! If it were not for what you whispered… Curse that too, argh! Surely, nobody realised, and you always walk this fast, but… But it is the next morning, and I still am a mess after all the things you did to me the last night!

How dare you stay on my mind even now. Well, you did leave some marks, so surely, it is hard not to think of it, but… ! I want to lay in your arms a little longer, but alas. You had to start work early today of all days…

To my caring Masamune.

It is June now, and somehow, I managed to catch a cold. It is nothing much, really, but you insist I don’t leave bed today… Honestly, I feel a little guilty, but I am enjoying myself. You’re spoiling me quite a lot, my love, and I can hardly oppose it…

You brought some of your work here, so that you could watch over me while I napped. You checked my fever, brought me more covers when I was cold, even got Shogetsu to cuddle me up. When I woke up, you cooked me porridge, and I don’t know what rituals you did in the kitchen, but it was beyond delicious. Or perhaps I’m getting better?

My eyelids are heavier and heavier… And you’re insisting I stop writing and cuddle with you now. You didn’t want to move to sleep in a separate bed either… How could I refuse? I swear, tiger, some may say you hardly care, but whenever I see you acting like this, my heart beats faster.

To my curious Masamune.

It is July now, and this is both a letter of praise, and of complaint. For somebody who learns so fast, you surely never learnt not to get taken away by challenges. However, here end my complaints, as it… Surely is quite entertaining.

We are still running away from our own allies now. We have just settled for the night, and you are calling for me to come eat and sit with you by the fire. Have I ever told you you are the most beautiful when you are free and wild? No? Because your eye sparkles so gorgeously now.

You’ve made me appreciate so many new sides of life. I love sharing it with you, both the good and the bad. I don’t know what you’ve made, but let’s be honest, there are only starts above us and I couldn’t care any less about food right now.

Yes, yes, I’m coming, you impatient cat…

To my hardworking Masamune.

It is August now, and you are swarmed with work. I do not know how you manage to stay on top of it… But truly, you seem tired now. You set off early, and come back late, and it takes little before you fall asleep.

You… You cannot know it, but each night, you return my embrace quite strongly, even if deep slumber has already claimed you. You are adorable – your nose crinkles slightly whenever I kiss your forehead. I started telling you I love you, and you usually mumble back that you love me too… Then you generally get a little upset and nuzzle into my neck, and sometimes scoff about some pillows or radishes, whichever one it is this time around.

I must never reveal the fact that you talk in your sleep if you are tired enough. What if you forbid me from ever indulging in it ever again? I don’t think I could live without it anymore.

Signed,

Your Beautiful Futon

To my joyous Masamune.

It is September now! I want to go celebrate with you, so this letter will be brief:

Thank you for having been born, Masamune.

Please, live a long life. I want to love you plenty more. I need to love you plenty more. To hear you laugh, to see your smile… Your happiness is infectious, and I want for it to last for as long as it can.

To my resilient Masamune.

It is October now, and it came in sour, as if to balance the joy of the previous month. This battle was harsh. You emerged victorious, but at what price? So many were lost… Although I think you would care even for a single person just as much. War is a dreadful thing, to say the least. You know it better than I will ever be able to. That is why you protect me from it, is it not? I wish I could carry half your burden...

When you returned, you only latched onto my wrist. Your hands were cold, and you looked almost lost. Were you scared that I would be gone too? My love, my heart… You held yourself together bravely the entire time, but I am glad you let yourself unwind once in our quarters. I needed to feel that you were alive too.

I helped you wash, and you seemed to relax when I ran my fingers through your wet hair. Perhaps the bath was a good idea in the end. I hope no nightmares come your way today – but if any do, I will do my best to chase them all away. I know you would do great by yourself… But I love you, so please, do share some of your concerns.

To my grumpy Masamune.

It is November now, and oh my, I got to pay you back for how sweetly you cared for me when I was ill. It appears it was your time, my love. I did not expect you to resist so much! “Sleep in a different room”?! As if I would even consider that much! But… You were quite sweet once you caved in. If we were in the future, I would give you a good patient badge!

Kojuro came in later too. You were so adorable when he started telling stories from your childhood! Ah, and you were locked in bed, so for once, I got a chance to actually listen to them too! A shy little Masamune… I wish cameras were a thing in this time.

It was a good day, but please, do not fall ill much. I will always care for you, it is only that… As much as your pouts were a sight to behold, I love your content smile even more. I will have to make some of today up to you.

To my thoughtful Masamune.

It is December now, and you surprised me yet once again. I do know we celebrated Christmas together once, but I did not expect for you to hold onto the idea. This time, you organised everything by yourself, with your own twists to everything.

The party was great – the music, the food, the gifts, I loved every single moment of it. You dressed well too, and I swear, you look even more handsome in the more so festive clothes. It was just cool enough for me to shamelessly cuddle into your side as well… Did you plan that as well?

I must thank you for the gift tomorrow. You must have had ordered this fabric months in advance. It… It really feels amazing knowing that you truly listen to what I say. I love you, Masamune. Somehow, you have this way of making me feel loved even without using any words.

To my adventurous Masamune.

It is January now, and winters in this part of the country tend to grow rather harsh. The snow is thick, and it seemingly keeps on falling, and falling… I did not expect for you to suggest taking a trip, much less one to the hot springs.

I do not know what heated me up more – your kisses or the water. Good thing we retreated to our room fast, otherwise we could be thrown out of the estate. I am quite relaxed after we have made love… Perhaps my initial fear of you suggesting doing it in the snow was completely unfounded. Well, you would not force me to go forward with it anyway, but your drive for novelty is infectious at times.

You went out to get some food for us to share, and I am still lying in bed. The pillow smells of you, and the covers are pleasantly warm from our shared heat. I think you will want to slide right next to me once you are back, will you not? I know you do better with cold than the heat, but is it not too tempting? Ah, I think I can hear your steps… I wonder, what are those plans for tomorrow you have made.

To my calm Masamune.

It is February now. You seem to be at home plenty, and I welcome the change. We cook together nearly everyday, and I am enjoying it a lot. At first, those were more of classes than anything else, but now… We recreated some of the future dishes I told you about. Is that not amazing? You truly could be a chef in my original time.

However! Today I shall take my revenge! Just you wait and see, Masamune Date! I will pay you back for all those hugs from behind, and “sampled dishes”, and for all those “you seem to have a bit of the sauce over your lips”! I prepared something you did not expect yourself, and you have made me this devil!

I hope I can get this surprised face out of you. It should be tasty enough for that? I should carry it to you before it gets cold…

To my beloved Masamune.

It is March again, and I love you all the same.

Tag list: @datenoriko, @nad-zeta, @tsubaki3192, @missjudge-me, @ikemencrossedmyth, @nuttytani, @thesirenwashere, @milas-imaginarium, @kisara-16, @yukas-clover, @alerialumina , @cheese-ception , @iamryxx, @cottonfluffballofdoom, @ozziegrl71, @rikumorimachisgirl, @bestbryn, @kink-rabbithole @ikesenfangirl @themysticalbeing If you want to be tagged under my future works, let me know (any way works)! ^^ Also, do remember to specify fandoms (and characters, if you are interested only in some) :D If it ever happens that you wish to be removed from my taglist, for any reason, do let me know. I will not ask why, it’s all fine ^^

#masamune date #ikesen masamune #ikemen sengoku masamune #ikesen #ikemen sengoku #ikemen series #my ff #my writing

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thepriceofbeingaroseisloneliness · 4 years

Text

Die and Toshiya member talk at SENDAI GIGS 13th March 2021 Bits III

Notes from twitter user botdv_304

- Question: Have you ever had a hard time because of your height?

Toshiya: When I go to grandpa and grandma’s house in the countryside…. the entrance is low, so I might hit my head?....

Die: Sometimes at exclusive/high class shop, isn’t there a place where the entrance is really low? Don’t you hate that? (laughs)

----

-Talking about a festival that left an impression on them. In Germany?

Die: Many things being thrown. Like crushed cans or tiny soccer balls. The stage was full of stuff like that.

Toshiya: I got hit by a stone that someone threw.

Die: Then I realized, something that fell off…. A bra…..it was quite big.

Fujieda: Eh….did they take it off and throw it? What happened when they got back home?

Die: They were bra-less? ----

Fujieda: Die, what do you do for haircare? What do you use? Like shampoo and so…

Die: Are you (asking this) unreservedly?

Fujieda: Yes….it’s the thing you are careful about the most!

Die: Well, I use shampoo, then the conditioner, then things like hair mask and so….

Toshiya: That takes so long, so long…. ----

Fujieda: Toshiya, where is Kaoru now?

Toshiya: *laughs* at home, at home…..*laughs*

----

Fujieda: Toshiya! Kaoru and Shinya said that JEALOUS' B-melody is difficult. Is there any difficult song for you?

Toshiya: I forgot

-----

Fujieda: Today you are feeling “on” or “off”?

Die: Well, On! If it weren’t “on”, it would be bad (laughs)

-----

-How difficult was to shoot at ROCKMAYKAN?

Toshiya: I don't think we had any particular difficulties ... I felt like I was going to the actual performance after rehearsing as usual. It feels like a virtual live with no audience, but it was nice to be able to play the five of us.

------

*Toshiya looks interested in a paper . It’s a psychological test.*

Toshiya: Test yourself. Which is the place that you don’t want to go the most? 1.Dark forest 2. Abandoned and decayed House. 3. Cemetery 4. Tunnel Die chose the tunnel. Toshiya and Takabayashi chose the forest and Fujieda the cemetery. The one you chose reflects what a person is scared about the most.

Tunnel (Die): The future. They are worried they can’t see their future. Forest (Toshiya and Takabayashi): Loneliness. They need to have someone nearby. Cemetery (Fujieda): They are not scared. If they can live happily, that’s fine.

Die: I can’t see what lies ahead….I’m scared! Takabayashi: Loneliness? Toshiya: Well, one person is scared… Fujieda: Me? Toshiya: If you can live happily, that’s fine (laughs) -----

About their drinks.

Fujieda: Toshiya, is that coffee? Toshiya: That’s it? Fujieda: Die is drinking carbonated water… Toshiya: Do you have that information?

Fujieda: Toshiya, what are you drinking, is it always coffee?

Toshiya: No, it’s not that….sometime it’s tea. Coffee or tea.

Fujieda: Do you prefer warm drinks?

Toshiya: Warm…..cold….

Die seems to like the sound of the bubbles of the carbonated drinks.

---- -About Oboro

Toshiya: I can't say much right now, but ... I think it's the core song of the album, so please look forward to it.

Die: It's not finished yet ... it's at the final stage. It’s overseas now ... I think that once is completed and finished it will come back. (He seems to be talking about the mastering stage, the master engineer seems to be a new person?)

---- -The OP doesn’t remember the question, but it was about the Shinkansen train.

Fujieda: Toshiya, did you miss the shinkansen this time?

Toshiya: (I took the train) at the last minute *laughs*

Fujieda: It was really at the last moment *laughs* Just about 1-minute left…

Die: Ah, I thought he wouldn’t come to this…

Fujieda: You made eye contact with Die…..You were late last time, right?

Toshiya: I…..I've been waiting in Shinagawa for a long time….

Die: Doesn’t make sense (laughs)

-----

-About next concert with audience.

Die: I'm happy to be able to play in front of everyone. I can't say “please come " in a loud voice, but when Corona is over, I want to make a live that makes me happy to experience.

Toshiya: In 2020….I was like “what’s going on?”….I was frustrated. But I can't get that time back, so I guess the right answer is to move forward. I would like to have a live performance that shows us trying to move forward.

----

Fujieda: Toshiya, among the members, are there any Ameotoko (rain man)? *Ameotoko (rain bringer man) refers to an unlucky person that seems to be jinxed to have the rain follow them wherever they may go, thus gaining a reputation for ruining special events such as weddings or sporting events.*

Toshiya: That would be…..that person…

Fujieda: Who is that person?

Toshiya: I’m not telling *laughs*

---

Fujieda: It’s still cold in Sendai

Toshiya: Weren’t you like an energetic kid yesterday?

-----

-Die about meeting the members for the first time

Kyo:

Kyo told Die to talk later but he thought Kyo was just being diplomatic, so he went home. They met at a venue about a week later and Kyo told him “You went home that day, right?”. So, they talked again at the emergency stairs and Die was invited to join his band. When Die thought about it later, Kyo wasn’t in a band anymore at that time, so he wondered if Kyo tried to contact him.

Die: Flyers at that time were black and white, and the image quality was poor, but I think he chose me for that (the flyer).

Kaoru:

Die: When I first met him, he was at another band. Kaoru was also a good guitarist. He told me “You often play lives here, right?”

Yamo-chan (Shinya)

Die: It was at a taiban ( band’s event) but I didn’t notice him at that time. Later I was like “Were you at the Taiban?”

Toshiya:

Die: I used to say hello to him at live houses, but we properly talked at a Sugamo’s coffee shop. Kyo was with me. It seems that Toshiya lived close to Sugamo, so Sugamo was fine. Kyo and me weren’t used to Tokyo so we didn’t know how to get to Sugamo. We got on the opposite Yamanote line and I said, "Isn't it the other way around ...?" and Kyo replied "Maybe ..."

----

Fujieda: Die, have you had any fun lately?

Die: Today!

----

Notes from user rikr66603 at twitter.

Die about meeting Kyo:

Die: I met Kyo for the first time at a toilet. Our bands were playing at a taiban (battle of bands/band’s event). Kyo was doing his hair at the bathroom and I passed behind him and say “nice to meet you”. He told me to talk after the live, but I thought he was just being polite. Like “Let’s drink someday”… I thought he was just being polite so I went home. *laughs* The next time we met, he told me I went home after that and I told him “I thought you were just being polite” *laughs* He told me to talk later that day after the live. He invited me to do a band together at the emergency stairs. It was a big turning point. Kyo wasn’t in a band at that time so he was like “come and see me”.

Fujieda: Kyo said he saw you in a flyer and thought that your aura was different.

Die: I used to put a lot of flyers at live houses. They were black and white. The image quality was poor. It seems that he chose me among them." )

---

About Oboro.

Die: We used to shoot individually and combine them but this time the 5 members gathered and did the shooting…..5 members…or should I say 6? *laughs*

Fujieda: To be exact, there were 6 people *laughs*

Die: Did we shoot in January? Or was it at February?

Toshiya: February

Die: There was a woman and she couldn’t move even though it was cold. Or even if she got hungry, Kyo either. Kyo was very close to the woman (makes a hand gesture of about 30 cm). It seemed awkward. He/we were talking turning sideways.

Fujieda: They couldn’t move. Also, he was covered in a liquid…. the other members as well, right?

Die: it was a cold liquid

Toshiya: It felt gross when it got dry….

Die: It was dirty….

----

Highlights of the live footage

Die: JEALOUS. It’s embarrassing. It’s embarrassing from the intro. The recording was at a private house. Ah, didn’t we do it at a private house?

Toshiya: I haven’t gone there.

Die: We used two rooms at a apartment house for the drum and bass. We pierced/ put through the wall a cord and recorded it. The guitars and Kyo were recorded at a private house. It was the engineers’ house. He lived in a normal residential area. Behind the house you could heard the dogs and the crows in the evening. The dogs were barking so you could hear the dogs at Kyo’s signing part. We waited for the dogs to stop barking so Kyo could record. I got fever and I felt asleep. I put a futon on the tatami floor and I slept but, there was the portrait of a deceased old woman that I didn’t know. While thinking that I wasn’t going to get better, I felt asleep.f Was it May? After that, we recorded for 3 weeks in New York. The difference from doing it in a private house was amazing.

#dir en grey

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