#maybe ill retweet one or two things

[coffeeforozzie]

twitter might be back in my country but i aint setting foot in there ever again, good evening bsky users

[kick-a-long]

so let me get this straight. elon musk retweeted or tweeted an antisemitic comment (because he's an antisemitic asshole from a very antisemitic country south africa) and he was critizised to the point that he took a trip to israel to like reflect and learn about how jews don't eat babies or whatever. but...

Ta-Nehisi Coates, an antisemitic asshole who's antisemitic dad also publishes antisemitic books just one's he's too lazy to write, says in person, recorded on video, without retraction.... that he would join in on the rape, murder, infanticide, and kidnapping of jews, if given the chance... and trevor noah (from very antisemitic country south africa) agreed whole heartedly and adding that it's like the american revolution.... which implies that isreal rode into gaza and lebanon ans was dictating how those countries operate and taking taxes which is WHAT IRAN DOES THROUGH HAMAS AND HEZBOLLAH ALONG WITH THE RAPES AND MURDERS... but there's no media outlet saying that might be kind of fucked up and maybe they should apologize or some vague insincere bullshit... I'm sorry?

and also Christopher Columbus... THE symbol for Catholics in America (which is why we that monster even got his own day. literally catholics, the knights of columbus, wanted a celebration of how interconnected the united states and CATHOLICS are) the Christopher columbus with MASSIVE statues around the globe in portugal, spain, america, italy... that guy is now jewish, just like hitler, because .... he has some jewish DNA. and we are just disregarding his recorded actions, relationship to the church, his very catholic life, lifestyle, origins, and catholic life.

and all this during the jewish christmas/ramidan (because goyim don't know what the fuck our high holy days are even if that name alone should tell you exactly how important they are) ??

which idiots are these things for? who is watching the ta interview and saying to themselves, "boy i would love to read the book by the guy who loves murder and kidnapping and rape! what a leftist humanitarian!" or, "WOW! I hate christopher columbus I'm so glad i don't have to feel guilty as a christian that he was under orders by my church because he was obviously a jew going rouge. because i'm a leftist but also a devout catholic? which is a thing that is a totally consistent world view?"

Who asked for this? I don't think this kind of shit is even for antisemitic leftists anymore. this is for some kind of POC leftist white supremesist with white guilt but also an arab supremasist .... i guess that might describe one or two very mentally ill people but... like ... who? is this stuff to get rage clicks from jews? there aren't that many jews you guys. I have no fucking understanding of these people's world's view other than they hate jews. none of this makes sense in any other way than to attack and increase attacks on jews around the globe. it's so mentally confusing because none of these people are saying anything that benefits them in anyway, nothing that is smart or true, nothing that makes sense if it is not generated directly from the thought, "this will increase jew hate, so i should do it!"

these people are risking their careers, being hella racist about arabs generally and Palistinians specifically, making both jews and arabs less safe, saying inflammatory things they obviously spent very little time thinking about, for the chance to normalize antisemitism. what planet are these media orgs even living on? they don't sound like nazis, they sound like fucking delusional Qanon derps who are improving "the day of the storm" ironically like the segments they show on the daily show, with TREVOR NOAH.

it's like really... sad. like, these guys and scientist have wasted so many people's time and their own talents which people tell me they have i guess, but it's sad that this kind of libel from the media doesn't even make sense to people who don't live on twitter.

[gubbles-owo]

man... constantly stressing over how to balance/manage horny on social media presence really sucks. on one hand my typical advice for other folks is just "be yourself, you do you, whatever that may entail." i'm starting to think that advice kind of sucks though, because it all feels much more tangled and complex than that. idk maybe it's because my own relation to and experience with intimacy has been uh, some sort of traumatic ig, that expressing such things feels difficult in certain contexts. sometimes i'm alright screaming it to the world, other times i feel rather unsafe in most contexts and would rather section off that sort of thing in isolation. sometimes i wanna be openly lewd, other times the very concept terrifies me. once long ago i made an anonymous alt account on twitter just to follow and retweet suggestive art, but then twitter died, and not wanting to deal with that dumpster fire i migrated to tumblr instead lmao. i'm sure some folk are fine with me thirstposting more risque art, but i'm equally sure there are other folk that don't wanna see that shit, who primarily follow me for the N64 dev and the adhd hyperspecific-topic posting. i don't know how to balance the two. i'm exhausted from chronic illness, maintaining multiple online presences is already daunting and energy-sucking enough. why is my brain like this i just wanna post hot anime women

[sugiwa]

small dreams

It took one 27 second long video for Keigo to fall in love

The video looped through every news cycle, and each reaction varied from outright derision to almost mythical awe emerging. On YouTube, it was viral in fifty-three different countries and Starburst—a name derived from a candy company that the pro-hero was fond of—jokingly tweeted that she was more famous than All-Might.

And she might have been thanks to the reporter that not only caught her decking the father of a girl she just saved but also recorded the subsequent twenty-seven seconds it took for three police officers to pull her off him and pull her away. The peace sign Y/N threw up as the police led her into a car probably didn’t help, nor did the live stream of her twenty-four hours in a holding cell while they investigated her claim of the man’s abuse and finally released her.

Though there were news outlets that tried to pin Starburst down as a hero on the edge of villainy, her public reputation hadn’t taken any damage. It was hard, after all, to claim that she did the wrong thing when they heard the girl’s testimony and pulled her medical records. But, Starburst—or L/N Y/N—still faced punishment from the Hero Public Safety Commission despite all this.

Attacking an unarmed civilian was apparently a big no-no—even if he was an abusive asshole. She was spared having her license revoked until she retested the simple principle that she had refrained from using her quirk. Her sentence was lessened to a month-long suspension with a strict patrol schedule in some city near Tokyo.

Y/N could work with it. She could put up with the Commission’s inane chatter for the sake of her job, but she drew the line at issuing an apology. It took three hours to wiggle her way out of a press conference to address the event. By the time her meeting with the Commission and sentencing was done, Y/N retweeted the initial video with the caption: Totally worth it.

Keigo was slightly in love with Starburst. Maybe it was the way she strolled into the Hero Public Safety Commission building fresh out of handcuffs and bluntly told them that she wasn’t apologizing and would rather become a vigilante than listen to ten more minutes of them debating the future of her career.

Or maybe it was the video which he’d seen a hundred times over, where she looked like a hero. The kind he’d always dreamed of as a kid, the kind who swooped in and beat the bad guy and then offered you stickers and candy and told you everything would be alright because it was exactly what she’d done for that little girl.

Either way, L/N Y/N was a hero who deserved a little rest, which was why he was currently tailing her patrol route and taking care of the problems before she could move. Her quirk was right out of a comic book too. The golden energy that left her capable of issuing an instant KO.

“Will you leave me alone?” she snapped, finally turning around to glare at him. She had a warm face, not made for anger which was probably why the glare fell away a moment later, replaced by a smile. “I appreciate the help, but I’m not offering any fanservice in exchange.”

“Who said I was a fan?” His wings flapped, feathers flying back toward him.

“You regularly stalk girls mid-air? That sort of thing does not fly with me.” Y/N laughed, nose scrunching at her own joke. “Get it…cause we both fly….”

He smiled innocently, “Thought of that all on your own?”

Y/N groaned, twisting her earring, “Just because I didn’t go to a fancy-ass hero school like Wet Jeanist and Flameo Hotman doesn’t mean I’m dumb.”

Slight insulted by the nickname she gave his favorite hero, he asked, “Flameo Hotman? You mean Endeavor-san?”

“Ohhh, that’s a man-crush voice.” Her eyes tightened with mischief, “I’m gonna have to dip since I got a hot date with my credit card. See you later, Chicken Little.”

He watched her go in slight awe because Y/N really was as crazy as the stories said. Starburst was a hero that had a bit of a cult following. She wasn’t high enough in the rankings to be wildly popular the way he was—up until she went viral, that was. A graduate of Ketsubutsu who went on to attend college before actually becoming a hero, she was on a watch list with the Hero Public Safety Commission.

Apparently, non-conformity was an issue…who knew.

A rain of confetti fell over Keigo’s head, brightly colored and all covered in specks of glitter. He inhaled deeply, turning to see Starburst’s grinning face as she eagerly clapped. Endeavor, like always whenever he was forced to be in Starburst’s proximity, turned around and stalked down the hall. Her confetti burned in his wake. Y/N’s voice followed him, offering an empty congratulations to the hero.

“How’s my precious senpai doing?” she asked, turning her attention to him.

“You really know how to annoy him, huh?” asked Keigo staring at the empty hall. If you gave Y/N too much attention, she ran with it. “What’s the deal?”

Y/N shrugged, rolling her shoulders confidently, “Some people are not equipped to handle true talent.”

“Yeah, right,” snorted Keigo.

“I may or may not have drunkenly confessed that I had no idea who he was to a bunch of reporters during last week.” Y/N made a rude gesture with her hand. “I mean, if you’re not Number One, then do you really matter?”

“Harsh,” he ruffled his wings, freeing the last of her glitter confetti and letting it rain on the ground. “You all good with the Commission now?”

“All thanks to you! I owe you one, you know that?”

“Nah,” Keigo waved her off, resisting the urge to laugh as she made her bright eyes as wide as possible. “It was pretty brave of you. Plus, I think anyone would have done the same thing.”

Three months out of trouble, Y/N once again made headlines for ‘accidentally’ dropping a child trafficker off a building. She caught him before he hit the ground, but apparently, the authorities deemed the emotional damage a little extreme.

“They probably would have been a bit smarter about it, though.”

“Well, don’t worry, no one expects you to be the brains.”

Y/N pouted. “True.”

Keigo laughed. “What are you doing here anyway? You’re not in the top ten.”

“Is bullying the new rage these days?” Her pout grew, arms crossing over her chest, “Everyone’s got something snippy to say to me. Where’s Rumi when I need her?”

“Gonna hide behind her?”

“Fuck yeah.” Y/N nodded emphatically as she reached into her pocket for a pack of gum. She offered him a piece. “Let’s see how your chicken wings stand against her legs.”

Keigo looked at the gum and then her. The words slipped out of his mouth before he could stop them, “Wanna get something to eat?”

Her smile looked like the sun, “Thought you’d never ask.”

“So, what’s the deal with you and Dragonbreath?” asked Y/N, sprawling across his couch. It was the third time this week she was here. He should tell her to leave, but the words die in his throat in his mouth every time he tried.

There’s too much risk. Dabi’s listening in on everything he does these days, and he doesn’t want her anywhere near them. Not when he’s aware of what they’re planning. Not when he knows how Y/N would react.

She was rough and improper in everything she does, but there’s no one brighter or better when it came to genuine goodness.

Keigo dodged the question with his own. “Endeavor again?”

“Ran into him last week and got yelled at for ten minutes for getting in his way. The guy was in my path, and I’m the one getting yelled at? Next time, I’m drop-kicking him off his skyscraper.” She kicked her leg in the air, reminding him that she was scarcely dressed.

Was this what having a girlfriend like? Constantly jumping between fondness and horniness? He wasn’t complaining.

He heard this threat a million times. “Still mad about the fact that he has one?”

“I’m a simple country girl. I’d be happy with a peach orchard and some chickens.”

“Come here,” he crooked his finger at her. Y/N got up instantly, crossing the room toward the balcony where he stood. Her hands wrapped around his waist, slipping under his shirt, across his skin, over his chest. Too much and too little at the same time.

“You’ll get cold out here,” she murmured. He could sink in the warmth she offered.

“It’s nice seeing the world so still.”

A noise left her throat, wet and worried, “Hawks, whatever it is, whatever they’re making you do, I’ll be here. I promise.”

People joked about Y/N being dumb—he did it too often to count, but she saw more than most people did when it mattered.

“Why’d you become a hero?”

“Saved a cute boy once, and he gave me a kiss,” she said. He’d heard that story before. She offered it in every interview, never expanding on what boy or how she saved him. It was also a glaring lie.

He didn’t push her. He lied about too many things to count.

Keigo took her face between his hands—the urge to kiss that tiny speck by her eyes thrummed through him. It would take a thousand-thousand years for him to forget her face. Y/N turned, her lips skimming his palm, cold and warm at once.

He loved her because she was Y/N. Because in her, he could love himself and not grow cold from it. Because the numbness he’d always known leaked out in place of affection. He loved her boundlessly—above, below, and across—unhindered, without ill will, without enmity.

It was with her that he was Takami Keigo and not the current Number Two.

His hand cupped her neck, fingers tangling in the curls of her hair. Her lips opened under his. A trail of fire burst across his lips, and for a moment, he only knew the sweetness of her mouth. He drank her in, each breath, each hushed sound leaving her throat.

He would do what they asked and make the choices no one else could.

It was worth the world he dreamed of.

[jinkicake]

You Fuckface!

Kuroo, Oikawa, Tendou with a seemingly cute and innocent s/o but when they start dating they realize that their s/o frequently cusses, is dirty minded, and kinky.

Kuroo Testurou x Reader

Oikawa Tooru x Reader

Tendou Satori x Reader

Anon, I’m really sorry that this took so long!! Also sorry bc I kinda went off on Oikawa’s version..... LOL I have been up all night crying over Junmyeon enlisting, I need a moment. 

Kinda smutty

WC- 2,131

~~~

Kuroo Testurou

Kuroo would be so surprised how you change when you become comfortable enough around him 

It’d make him really happy that you feel that relaxed with him that you don’t have to keep up a front

For Kuroo to fall for such a sweet girl who also happens to be into all the freaky shit he’s into… he’ll be so excited 

Sign him up

Listen, we all know Kuroo is the biggest dork but he also has such a flirty nature

He just emits passion and confidence, it’s his scorpio tendencies that make him so sexc

He’d be really entertained with your personality, finding it humorous whenever a swear word leaves your mouth

When he finds out about your kinks, how rough you want to be manhandled, his eyes will darken and he’ll tease you about it just to hide how turned on he is

Kuroo lives for when you swear at him, calling him random things like ‘fuckface’ or ‘shit lips’ 

He thinks it's hot

He’d def be the type to tease you about your ‘front’, jokingly saying inappropriate things in class just to see your reaction

The way you’d pretend to be shocked and act like you don’t know what he is talking about when your classmates look at the two of you, and then how you’d narrow your eyes at him and glare when they look away

He lives for that

Kuroo loves to see you blush, he will do absolutely ridiculous things just to see you flustered

He is a fool in love, can we blame him?

“Oh? What’s this?” Kuroo asks playfully, peering over your shoulder out of nowhere as you scroll through twitter. Before you can even notice him he grabs your phone and watches, with an amused smile, the gif you were looking at. “Shit, you’re into that kitten?”

You can tell he is trying to tease you but the way his voice lowered and his eyes darkened made your insides melt. Kuroo glances back at the phone and watches the screen all over again.

“You want me to spank your ass cherry red?” His voice is so teasing and sinful, it’s not fair, you can only whimper in response before you try to protest.

“T-that’s not mine.” You weakly try to grab your phone back but Kuroo simply grabs your wrist with his large hand. “Someone retweeted it and I was scrolling past it.” You lie, straight through your teeth, and Kuroo doesn’t believe you in the slightest.

“You’re saying you don’t want to be bent over my knee, marked by my hand over and over?” He lowers his face down to yours and you close your eyes to hide from his heated gaze. “You don’t want me to tie you up with your ass in the air and have my way with you?”

You can’t even believe these words are coming out of Kuroo’s mouth, you want to revel in it. It’s too difficult to form words, not as one of his hands pressed against the small of your back and brings you closer to him, not as his nose runs along your jaw.

“Come on, tell me.” He gently pushes, kissing your cheek reassuringly. At this you finally open your eyes once more, your nerves are all on fire as you look over his face for any amusement. Kuroo looks deadly serious.

“Yes, I would like that.” You tell him, looking down at the floor as his hand tightens against your shirt.

“The sweet, innocent (Y/N) wants to play?” Kuroo teases and nips at your neck, gripping your hip with his other hand. “Let’s play then kitty, I’ll take good care of you."

Oikawa Tooru

Something about King Oikawa tells me that he would not be surprised in the slightest when he finds out what you’re actually like

He’d be able to see right through the front, even before the two of you start dating, which made you really intriguing to him

Every now and then your provocativeness would catch him by surprise, he was never prepared with how vulgar you can be

Oikawa likes it though, he especially likes it when you unconsciously act that way around Iwaizumi

The way his best friend gets flustered every time a curse leaves your lips, or whenever you say something out of pocket makes Oikawa wheeze

It’s one of the funniest things in the world to Oikawa and he laughs even harder every time you apologize to Iwaizumi, just as flustered as him

More often than not, you do catch Oikawa off guard with your language

Not that he’d ever tell you that

If you say something really vulgar he would just stare at you, his wide chocolate eyes would be like 0.o

Almost as if he didn’t believe you said it and then he’d flick your forehead and tell you to knock it off

But you can see the deep blush covering his face, he does a terrible job at hiding it

He’d love to listen to you swear, especially when pleasure is being ripped from your core, it adds flavor to the experience~~

To put it delicately, is Oikawa a prude? Yes and no, because he can be such a tease and curse around you when he feels like it and other times if you swear too loudly in public around adults he becomes a b00mer

Just remember he is a cancer and they’re known to be sensitive…

Either way, love Oikawa and appreciate him or fall ill to my sword~

“Are you ever going to tell Oikawa all the nasty things you tell me?” Your friend asks one random day during lunch, you tilt your head at her and can’t hide the confusion off your face. “Don’t play innocent with me (Y/N), I know you better than that.” She scoffs and you glance around the hallway to make sure it is completely empty.

“What the hell are you talking about fucker?” You scoff and cross your arms over your chest, waiting for her reply.

“Oh, I don’t know, maybe that you want him to eat you out for so long that you lose feeling in your legs.” She snaps, amusement twinkling in her eyes before she lists another secret. “Oh or maybe that you want him to choke the shit out of you till you pass out, that one had me a little worried.” She smiles sheepishly and your jaw drops in shock as you gape at her.

“I said those things at three in the morning, they don’t count!” You try to defend yourself, saying that the lack of sleep made you dickmatized.

“You still said them!” She laughs loudly, throwing her head back and you can only turn red at your secret confessions.

“M-maybe I’ll tell him one day, I can’t just be like ‘oh Tooru please spank me and then fuck my face’.” You pretend to beg, clasping your hands together and looking at your friend with puppy eyes, your voice raising several octaves.

“You’re a dumbass!” She wheezes and you purse your lips at her in retaliation. “We will continue this conversation another time, I have to go meet Makki in the library to work on our project.”

“Try not to make too much noise while you suck his dick this time!” You remind her and she rolls her eyes before flicking you off, you watch as she walks down the hallway before you turn back to your own classroom. You were walking past an empty room when a warm hand grabbed your wrist and pulled you inside, pinning you against the door. Your face sours when you see your boyfriend, looking like his usual charming self yet, there is something off as he stares down at you.

“O-Oikawa? Are you okay?” You ask nervously, your breath hitching when he leans down to nip at your neck.

“Were you ever going to tell me how much of a minx you are?” He asks, his voice rough, as he grabs a handful of your ass harshly.

“Fuck.” You whine and lean your head back against the door, realizing you weren’t as quiet as you thought you were. “How much did you hear?”

“All of it.” He pulls back to stand tall, towering over you to watch you cower underneath him. “How badly do you want it, baby? How much do your words mean?” He taunts and you gasp when you feel his clothed erection pressing against your stomach.

“I want you s-so badly Tooru.” You whimper and your boyfriend’s grin only widens.

“I know baby, I know and I’ll give it to you.”

Tendou Satori

Please, Tendou would have a field day with you

He has a dirty mind and probably swears just as much

He’d be so shocked, lowkey because he didn’t expect it, not like he’d tell you

But he would think it's really funny to listen to you swear or point out how the cloud is shaped like a dick

Tendou just seems to be amused by that

Unless you’re with his family, he’d probably have you refrain from swearing around them

Bootleg hisoka would not appreciate you saying ‘fuck’ when you meet his mother…

But other than that he loves it!!!

If you ever start cursing out of anger and you become out of breath, just know that you may have killed Tendou

He would become very, very, very turned on

He’d be such a cheeky little shit, tease you and say you need to put soap in your mouth

And by soap, he means his dick

“You have such a potty mouth, let’s get something to clean it~~~”

Tendou would probably tease you for hours on end just to hear you swear and wither at his touch

Tendou swearing turns you on just as much so whenever he finishes his fun, you hop on him and do the exact same thing to him, you tease him for hours just to watch him fall apart~

“What’s the difference between being horny and being hungry?” You ask your boyfriend and stare up at him from where you rest on his lap. Tendou glances away from his phone to look down at you, his eyes narrowing suspiciously. “Where you put the cucumber.” 

Tendou watches as you struggle to hide your fits of laughter, your lips pressed together harshly.

“It wasn’t funny?” You pout up at him and he continues to stare at his phone. “Ah, fuck you bitch.” You push at his phone, the smile on your face makes him smile back down at you.

“You need to watch that mouth of yours.” Tendou teases and pinches the tip of your nose.

“Why?” You frown and narrow your eyes at him. “You don’t like it?” Tendou wants to reach down and kiss the pout from your lips but he instead he gently cups your cheeks.

“I think it’s hot.” He brushes his nose against yours and you smile at the interaction. “But you need to learn when you can and can’t say stuff like that.” Tendou’s voice lowers and you stiffen in his lap, nervously looking up at him. “Isn’t that right baby?”

“Yes.” You whisper and Tendou moves one of his hands from your cheeks down to rest on your throat, giving you a teasing squeeze.

“Yes what, darling?” The pressure from his fingers sends a lick of heat straight to your core and you almost shut your eyes in an attempt to savor it.

“Yes, d-daddy.” You whimper and shut your eyes, a few seconds of silence go by and you slowly open your eyes to see Tendou covering his mouth with his hand. When he looks down at you, his whole body falls back against the couch and the loudest laugh you’ve ever heard from him spews from his lips.

“Fuck, I-I’m sorry baby, I can’t.” Tendou wheezes through his tears, clutching his sides as the air leaves his lungs. You simply sit up and cross your arms over your chest, your face soured as you glare at him. “I’m still getting used to it.” He confesses, his entire face tilted red. It’s only been a few nights since you revealed the kink to your boyfriend and he has had a rather difficult time getting used to it.

“You suck!” You whine and poke his chest, turning away when he reaches out for you again.

“Don’t be mad baby, I still think you’re super fucking hot!” He tries to reassure you and you keep your deep rested frown. “Let me make it up to you!” You’re never one to deny Tendou of his offers so you simply turn your face back at him, allowing him to cup your cheeks once more. “That’s my good girl.” Tendou praises quietly before pressing his lips to yours.

[anonymous-swiftie]

If you are on twitter, please retweet this:

https://twitter.com/ASwiftie00/status/1334245577933148164?s=19

Dear #Swifties,

I'm new on tumblr, and I really don't know how to use it.

I know you are the best supporters of the music industry and I'm here to ask your help.

I'm fighting with a crippling depression, that due this covid situation just got worse.

I'm at my lowest, I truly don't know if I will make it through this time.

I always dreamed to talk to Taylor, since I was a teenager. She is the only one that make me feel like I do fit in this world.

I've created this account because I know she is very active here, and I'm trying to reach her with this part of my story.

You can read everything below.

I didn't write any personal information because I don't want this to be seen by my family or somebody that can recognise me.

I don't want upset anyone.

I know that everyone hope to meet or chat with her, and so you are probably wondering why you have to share this here.

You're totally right, maybe it's a stupid idea to ask you this, but I haven't anything left in my pocket to fight this situation, and you're my only hope right now.

Thank you.

#taylor #swift

*******************************************

Dear Taylor,

I keep writing and deleting this, over and over again.

I feel so dumb to write my personal story here, but this truly is my last chance to feel better and try to overcome this giant monster called depression.

I genuinly don't know if I can make it through this year. It's the worst period of my entire life and i don't even know if it's worth living this hell anymore.

I know you have millions of supporters (that probably write you every single day, and they are all better fans than I am, that's for sure) but I know that you proved, time after time, to be so down to earth and to use your time to read your fans messages.. so, in this moment, I'm just trying to share a part of my story with you.

You are the one that make feel understood, since I was like 13teen.

I'm so sorry if my English isn't very good but I'll do my best.

I'm not very active on social media , because I'm very shy when I have to talk about myself.. but If this could work, I must do it.

I will try to send a letter, If I can find the strength to mark this feeling on paper.

**IF I'M WRITING TO SOMEBODY FROM HER STAFF, PLEASE JUST LET THIS MESSAGE REACH TAYLOR**

I'll try now to resume, because I don't want to bother you too much.

This has been a crazy year so far, and the all the time I spent by myself during the lockdown didn't help at all.

This situation brought me back to childhood.

I spent a lot of my days back and forth in hospitals, due to my allergies.

I had to wear a mask all the time I wanted to go outside to avoid severe allergic reaction (that's why this Covid thing awakened some hurting memories)

I didn't have real friends back then, 'cause I've spent most of the summers at home, watching other kids playing around, from my window, or from the windows of my classroom.

It was so hard to make new friends, because the only thing that other kids saw was my mask.

I was the masked kid.

I was the strange kid.

I couldn't play with them.

Everytime I tried to play with them, the only thing I heard was "oh you are ill , I don't wanna be like you so stay away".

This situation made me start to write things in my personal diary.

I wrote small sentences, as a kid, and that was the only thing I could do alone inside an empty classroom during all summer.

This situation continued  for many years.

I wasn't the cool kid before, I wasn't the cool guy after.

The only things that let me enjoy those days were writing and listening to your songs.

I started to listen to your music thanks to my English teacher. She was a fan of folk and country music and she gave me a pic in which you were singing near a lake (I still have that photo somewhere, I strongly remember the white banner with your name written in red on it) and told me to listen to the cd she gave me that day.

I immediately fell in love (I think I still have a crush on you, I'm sorry).

I loved your album. I loved your voice. I loved the lyrics.

I remember having a "test" in school: each one of the class had to write their favourite lyrics and let the others guess the song.

If the someone guessed It, We could play the cd.

I chose Love Story and I translated it in Italian.

The class guessed the song, and I played it.

After the lunch break I went back to my desk and I saw some bullies that were breaking my cd-album and they started to laugh at me because I loved your music an I loved writing poems.

I was a boy so I was a loser because I enjoyed those things.

That felt terrible, but I continued to love your songs even more .

Those were my inspiration to write and to study english.

I felt so good when I listened to your album and this still happens.

Then I went to a private high-school.

Nothing changed, I still was the nerd guy that always got good grades and I have to say that the first year was quite good, but the second year was the start of the apocalypse.

I choose that school because two girls that I knew from childhood went there.

One of the cool new guys started to spread a fake "news" about me.

He said to everyone that I was the boyfriend of one of the two girls that I mentioned before.

So he was the cool guy and one of the girls believed him and told me to f*** myself.

The other girl was her best friend, so you could imagine by what happened next.

After 14 year spent together, I was nobody.

I didn't have "friends" in that class anymore.

I didn't say hello to anybody for 4 years, and nobody would say anything to me.

Nobody to talked with me.

That's great when you're a teenager.

I hated to wake up every morning.

I had an eating disorder, I lost like 22pounds in less than a month. Got hospitalized twice. I kept vomiting for 3 years, every single morning before school.

During that time I only talked with one of my cousins, who lived like 2 hours by car from me.

He was older than me but he always tried to help.

He knew that I loved to write poems so he started to give me guitar lessons.

I made it through a lot of things thanks to him.

I'm sorry, It's hard for me to write this part of the story.

I still get emotional when I think about this.

On the 10TH of December 2013 (some days after his birthday) we received a phone call from his mother: She warned us that he didn't return home after the last working shift.

I wrote a message to him like 3 hours prior to that phone call.

Never had the opportunity to get a reply again.

This year is the seventh year that he is missing.

That destroyed me.

I felt empty.

I felt like nothing couldn't help me.

I still feel that everytime I care about someone in my life, it will disappear someday.

This have happened several other times.

You know when ignorants say that men don't cry, is real bullshit. Men cry. I cried a lot.

I wrote so many poems , lyrics, thoughts in that period of time, that I destroyed my hands.

That was the only way to close my eyes and let me reach another reality because the real one was way too much for me.

Be a sensible man in this world is somehow a curse.

All these things made me afraid  even to hug someone 'cause I feel I'm too ugly or just to scared to be refused.

I will stop here my story, but there's so much more to tell.

I make it through all of these things and memories because I keep dreaming that one day I could meet you and we could talk together.

Dreaming about the fact I could spend a day with you made me find the power to battle my depression.

I'm 25 now and this year I'm not dreaming anymore.

I was going to start again university, I wanted to get a degree in marketing and have the chance to live in the us.

For years I believed that I would make it and hopefully be part of your marketing team.

I'm so stupid. All these years I kept dreaming to avoid pain.

I wanted to pursue my passion and continue to write lyrics but all I was doing was putting myself in unrealistic realities.

This covid situation made everything clear.

When everyone had someone to facetime (or video call) I was alone.

When everyone had someone asking them "how are you?" I only had myself looking in the mirror saying: "Will I ever feel better?"

I've never been the one for anybody, and I think I'll never be.

I won't be the one among all your fans to realize his dream.

Nobody likes me, and I'm exposing myself once again just because I want the opportunity to smile at something that could happen to me.

I'm tired to smile only for others best moments.

I've always seen the sun through a window.

I want to feel happy.

I want to burn my face with the sun.

I'm so sick of hiding my pain,

sick to cry when I'm alone in my car before going to work,

sick to let my eyes rain on my pillow every night.

I'm sick to say to my mother that I'm fine, just because I don't want to make her feel bad.

It's not her fault.

She is battling with a degenerative autoimmune disease, why I should put other weight on her shoulders?

I didn't give up to my weakness before because I don't want to hurt her.

I always say to her that soon she will feel better, that's why your song It's stuck in my head.

But when she won't be here anymore, how I can go through all of that?

I don't even know if will ever get better for me.

Will this pain ever stop?

Sometimes it's so hard to live and so easy to die.

Hope that my dream to spend some time with you can become true.

Thank you for everything, you gave me the strength to go on for many years.. But this time is so hard to put on my armor and continue this battle.

But is this even worth if thy I try to surround myself with people and I always feel lonely?

D.

@taylorswift @taylornation @jackleopards-thedolphinclub

[shoezuki]

adding onto that last anons message, tumblr also just doesnt let that happen ya know? like people on twitter give the negative people a platform

Y E A H honestly like. On here when ppl try n talk shit or Start Something in mcytblr we just. Block them. Maybe say some posts so people Know. The closest we've had to givin shitheads a platform was when i called out enderbees which lead to others making blocklists which is like. The Opposite of what id a been tryin to do but atill. That died in a day or two.

Honestly i feel tumblr in general like. On one hand its Built in a way thats. Easier to hide or ignore bullshit? Like even Me complaining on here doesnt go noticed outside of my followers. Maybe a bit stretched out if ppl rb. But i wont tag shit into main tags cuz i dont Want that shit spread all the time. Plus compared to twitter how blocking works is. Imo better?

But moreso i feel. We're all Tired. From what i seen the mcytblr ppl here tend to be Older or at least have been on tumblr a long while. And this shit site has had its fair share of bullshit. Most a us have had enough. Blocking people isnt seen as Horrible and its pretty common courtesy to tag such things for ppl who have it blacklisted

On twitter ive noticed like. Its almost Expected to directly respond to bullshit. Or to talk about it So Much that it may get trending. Like if i see a shit post on here ill make fun of it on my Own post and wont rb that person directly because. It feels rude tbh. But on twitter? Quote retweets and replies are fucking mess.

[muffinrecord]

How many of your followers are male pedophiles who only retweet the fetishized/swimsuit outfits?

Okay so like... I'm going to use this message real quick to talk about something serious. I think this anon is actually mentally unwell.

I don't use that in the way the internet typically does, which is "you are doing something I don't like, which means you have a mental illness." I don't mean this as a mean joke. I mean this sincerely and with some concern.

This anon has been at this for a long time, and even before Magia Record was actually going. I remember them bitching about Sleepless Domain on reddit before (and I think they still do!) and they always stick with the same ideas: that the only reason anyone is interested in darker magical girl content (even when written by women) is because they're male pedophiles getting off of girl's suffering. They'll write other things too, like how the genre is "proving that little girls have no value beyond suffering" or "the only way a girl is worth something is if she suffers/dies/provides something for men." But in general, this is what it revolves around.

You can always tell that who the anon is because of this. They don't change tactics. They don't ask different things. They always assume that fans are male pedophiles or that you like the series because there is something wrong with you. They don't change from this script.

I can't diagnose someone over the internet-- for one, I'm not a doctor and two it's over the internet. You can't understand someone from the little bit that they show you online.

However, a lot of what this anon does strikes me as very black-and-white thinking, they are absolutely obsessive about certain topics, and they have really odd reactions. I've gotten angry at them twice now and insulted them directly and they've... never actually responded to it. They'll respond to a small portion of the argument, but they never actually address the fact that I insulted them. I find this kind of off-putting, and I'm starting to think that there is more going on here besides a hobby of hating dark magical girl genres and their fans.

It might be because I had to get mental help, to the point of being hospitalized, but this anon is making me wonder if something is going on there too.

Because think about this logically for a second-- this anon is trying to argue that most of my followers are pedophiles and are following me because... once year-ish, I post characters practically t-posing in swimsuit image compilations, as part of costume sets? They're calling girls standing around and wearing swimsuits fetish content. This is their argument.

Maybe you think they're just being a troll, but I don't think that's the case.

There are so many other things you can bitch about for Magia Record. For example, Akari Mai has a horrendous design (which I complained about on this blog!) but this anon has never so much as mentioned her, or characters like Himika, Leila, or Kokoro. This anon never talks about Iroyachi or any other hot-button topic that is sure to get people talking. They always complain about things that don't actually matter or are easily disproven.

They follow the blog enough to know that I'm posting costume sets, but they don't follow it enough to know what makes the fandom upset? Like I said, I don't think this is a troll.

So again-- I do genuinely think that something is going on with this person mentally upstairs. I say this with no malice, because I also have problems with my brain that cause me to act and talk in ways that are off-putting.

Anyways, I'm saying all of this because I've seen people accuse anon of being a terf or an "anti" (whatever the fuck that is) or whatever, and I think the answer is just that this person is mentally unwell.

I decided I would no longer respond to this person because I don't want to get angry or insult or belittle a human who is struggling with issues and not doing this because of actual malice. However, I don't think that's working. I'm still getting messages from them once in a while. They're still getting something out of sending me stuff like this.

So....

I'm going to be turning off the anonymous function of my ask box permanently. I apologize because I know a lot of people prefer to use anon (I do too), but I feel like I'm feeding this person and their issues by keeping it up.

Anyways, I'm writing all of this publicly because they'll probably target someone else if I close myself off. Hell, I know I'm not the only one they target already. So, if this person starts to contact you, please know it's not actually about you. They're not actually doing this because you've done anything. They would do this to anyone.

And don't get mad at them or insult them like I have. It doesn't actually do anything to fix the problem, and it's possible it could make their thoughts worse. We're not responsible for why this person is acting this way, but it doesn't mean we should bully them or let them bully us.

So-- anon, I'm sorry for not realizing what was going on sooner, and I'm sorry for insulting you. I had to get help too. A few years ago, I was in a mental hospital for a week and that is one of the reasons I'm alive today. I hope you can get help for yourself, because this is an awful way to live.

[calacuspr]

Calacus Weekly Hit & Miss – Simone Biles & Rassie Erasmus

Every Monday we look at the best and worst communicators in the sports world from the previous week.

HIT – SIMONE BILES

Simone Biles has been the superstar of gymnastics - if not female sport - since she burst into global consciousness by winning four gold medals at the Rio 2016 Olympic Games.

With 19 world championship gold medals as well to her name at the tender age of 24, expectations were high at Tokyo 2020.

Not content with leading the world in gymnastics, Biles showed remarkable strength from one so young by putting her mental health ahead of the attention and anticipation of her performances at this year’s Olympic Games.

After pulling out of the women's gymnastics team final. Biles explained: “I have to focus on my mental health. I just think mental health is more prevalent in sports right now.

"We have to protect our minds and our bodies and not just go out and do what the world wants us to do.

"I don't trust myself as much anymore. Maybe it's getting older. There were a couple of days when everybody tweets you and you feel the weight of the world.

"We're not just athletes. We're people at the end of the day and sometimes you just have to step back.”

The Olympic Games may be one of the biggest stages in world sport, but Biles showed remarkable poise to withdraw given her unofficial role as the symbol of Team USA.

It is further proof, if proof were needed, that sports stars now feel empowered to stand up, not only for social justice but also for themselves, as we saw with Naomi Osaka withdrawing from the French Open in much the same way earlier this year.

Michael Phelps, himself an Olympic phenomenon, defended Biles after previously revealing his own struggles with depression. He said: “This is an opportunity for all of us to really learn more about mental health, to all help each other out.

"For me, I want people to be able to have somebody that can support them, who’s non-judgmental and who’s willing to hold space. There’s a lot that we can do to help one another and we have to start. We can’t brush it under the rug anymore.”

Biles, remember, has spoken out about the sexual abuse she and many others faced at the hands of the former U.S.A. Gymnastics doctor Lawrence G. Nassar and the devastating effect it has had on her life.

She has also spoken out about racism, which she has encountered in life and in gymnastics competition; She said: “It happens every day, and I feel like every Black athlete or colored athlete can say that they've experienced it through their career.”

Biles has had to watch as her brother Tevin Biles-Thomas was accused and then recently acquitted of 15 charges including murder related to an incident three years ago.

The gymnast later withdrew from the final individual all-round competition, with USA Gymnastics stating: “We wholeheartedly support Simone’s decision and applaud her bravery in prioritizing her well-being. Her courage shows, yet again, why she is a role model for so many.”

There have been accusations that she let down her team by walking away, that she displayed an appetite for ‘losing, quitting and failure’ rather than seeing the bigger picture of fighting through adversity.

American conservative activist Charlie Kirk was also quick to criticise, saying: "We are raising a generation of weak people like Simone Biles. If she's got all these mental health problems: don't show up."

“She's probably the greatest gymnast of all time. She's also very selfish, she's immature and she's a shame to the country."

Those opinions were echoed by other right-wing activists and yet US newspapers such as USA Today called Biles’ decision “important” and a “powerful message.”

The New York Times lauded the 24-year-old for putting her “mental health first and the expectations of others, at best, second” and after Biles spoke about the mental exhaustion endemic to being the best, the Washington Post asked, “What are we doing, breaking our athletes?”

Mental health organisations such as The Rethink Mental Illness charity praised Biles and said: “Everyone needs to prioritise their mental health, even the best athletes in the world.

“Simone Biles’s decision to withdraw from an Olympics final will not have been taken lightly, and it’s great to see the support she received from her teammates.”

Mind also congratulated Biles on her bravery and posted on Twitter: “Working in elite sports like gymnastics comes with unimaginably high levels of pressure, perfectionism, scrutiny, and comparison. Simone Biles is incredibly brave for speaking out, and highlighting the importance of looking after your mental heath.

“Simone is a role model for women and girls everywhere. She deserves our applause, respect, appreciation – and above all our support right now.”

MISS – RASSIE ERASMUS

Rugby union prides itself on respect and one of the most fundamental aspects of game is based on how referees are treated.

It’s common law within the sport that players and coaches accept refereeing judgments without abusive disagreement but in recent times, the game has been caught up in controversy due to reactions over refereeing decisions.

During the 2021 British and Irish Lions and South Africa test series, South Africa head coach Rassie Erasmus has taken the disrespect of officials to a whole new level, as he openly criticised the officiating of the first test match between the two sides.

In an hour-long video, Erasmus let out his fury towards Australian referee Nick Berry in which he analysed 26 clips from the game of incidents which he believed were blatant mistakes.

In the video, he said: "It's comical the respect the [officials] showed towards the South African players compared to the Lions players.

"Let the Springboks and the Lions have an equal chance on the field when it comes to laws, respect, the way players are treated, what is said in the coaches' pre-match meeting with the referees, how they give feedback post-match and how things are said in the media.

"When Siya [Kolisi] spoke to the referee and when Alun Wyn [Jones] spoke to the referee, I just felt the reactions on how they treated both those players, there was a vast difference between who he was taking serious and who he wasn't taking serious."

Erasmus ends the video by saying that he recorded the video “in my personal capacity, and not as part of the Springboks”, even offering to quit his position for the remainder of the series.

But when you’re the head coach of the world champions in any sport, let alone rugby union, recording a video criticising a referee is entirely inappropriate.

Despite his claims that neither Nick Berry nor World Rugby provided feedback on the officiating during the first test, Erasmus raised his complaints in a totally unprofessional manner.

In response to the video, Rugby Australia defended Nick Berry and deemed the comments from Erasmus as "unacceptable", while World Rugby reacted by saying they would be taking up the matter with the South African Rugby Union.

Erasmus has never been afraid to speak out, but his comments towards referees has cast a shadow over the already disrupted Lions Tour in South Africa.

In the week running up to the first test, Erasmus refused to disassociate himself from a burner Twitter account named “Jaco Johan”, which carries video clips of controversial refereeing incidents for the previous games of the tour.

“When something makes sense to me I like to retweet it,” Erasmus said. “If you do analyse the things that he is supposed to see, then you are actually spot on with the integrity of the game.”

It’s also not the first time that the Springbok head coach has been caught up in controversy regarding the officiating in rugby.

Back in 2019, the then New Zealand head coach Steve Hansen accused Erasmus of trying to pressure referees into preferential treatment towards his team, after the South Africa boss suggested that the All Blacks had for years received soft officiating during matches.

Debate surrounding refereeing decisions has been a constant theme of the Lions series, with the tourists also raising concerns regarding the appointment of a South African television match official in the first game.

With South Africa going on to claim victory in the second Test, Erasmus could claim that his mind games paid off, especially considering several decisions went the Springboks' way.

Regardless, raising concerns about refereeing in rugby should be done in a respectful manner and in that regard, Erasmus missed the mark completely during the 2021 Lions tour.

[the-secret-life-of-bi]

Oh man. Oh man oh man. Okay. I don't know if any of you listen to twenty-øne pilots, but there's some real drama happening on Twitter with front man Tyler Joseph that I feel the need/desire to speak up about.

I saw these tweets first:

[ID: two tweets from Tyler Joseph, @tylerrjoseph. The first states, "my tweet wasn't suppose to be about human rights. so in case you are wondering where i stand: Black Lives Matter. i just wanted to take a moment to raise awareness about something else that had meant a lot to me for a long time. but now I see there is no room for that right now." The second tweet, a reply to the first, states, "im truly sorry if i hurt anyone. here is a link to a lot of great info that i stand by." The thumbnail of the link is titled "Ways You Can Help" and lists several kinds of resources to help the Black Lives Matter movement. End ID.]

Of course I was like, "...okay, wtf is happening?" So I scrolled through his Twitter feed and found an essay about mental health awareness week and suicide prevention--all things he's been a vocal supporter of since I started listening. I figured, okay. Some people are upset he's talking about this issue and not BLM. Understandable to some degree, I guess, since it's so easy to just...say you support BLM, and maybe retweet a link about ways to help (which he eventually did), but no one necessarily deserves that from him. He's welcome to support whatever causes that he wants, and equally welcome not to mention others. And as his fans, you're welcome to be disappointed about that, but I was still confused. Why all the hate? That seems like a severe overreaction, no?

But then I saw it. The first tweet that people are actually upset about:

[ID: a tweet from Tyler Joseph, @tylerrjoseph. It states, "you guys keep asking me to use my platforms. feels good to dust these bad boys off." Below the text are two images of Tyler wearing white platform sneakers. End ID.]

OH. MY GOD.

How fucking tone deaf can someone possibly be? It is one thing to comment on the issue of mental illness in the same supportive way he always has, and also to not discuss Black Lives Matter for whatever reason. I would support him if that's what this was, I really and truly would! Do I feel that someone with such a massive platform should do the bare minimum to show support on such an important issue? Yes, but I also don't feel like it's my right to demand that of him. However, it is an entirely different situation to openly mock his fan base for asking him to speak out on an issue that is causing so much turmoil worldwide, and especially within his own country. Saying nothing at all, or even saying 'no' to calls for his support and claiming personal reasons, would have been better than this piss-poor attempt at a joke. And worse: he doubled down! Literally, in his own words. Before his apology that I provided at the beginning of this post, he tweeted this:

[ID: a tweet from Tyler Joseph, @tylerrjoseph. It states, "this isn't a notes app moment. i'm doubling down on my platform tweet. it was fantastic." End ID.]

Yes, Mr. Joseph. It was fantastic. As in, it must come from a fantasy, because I cannot believe this really just happened in the year of our lord 2020.

So, I don't know if he'll ever see this, but I think it needs to be said. And I feel the need to say it.

A brief and open letter to Tyler Joseph:

I do not even know where to begin with this, so instead of some fluffy, dramatic opener about my feelings, I'll just be blunt. The reason people reacted poorly to your tweets was not because "there is no room for [other issues] right now." It is because your original tweet was crass. It mocks people who are hurting, who just want some validation from people who have a larger platform which they've used to speak about important issues before. You didn't necessarily owe them your validation, but they didn't deserve such blatant disrespect for their feelings. Now they have to think twice, if you really do care about them the way you claim you do.

And to be honest, that's why I've always respected you--you really seemed to care about your fans. You reached out through your lyrics to people who were hurting, myself included. You've been vocal about mental health as long as I've followed you. As someone who has struggled with suicidal depression for over a decade now, I've always admired the way you've discussed mental illness in your music. I have found comfort in so many of your songs. So I cannot even begin to fathom how you thought that the original tweet was funny or harmless in any way. It was hurtful, plain and simple, and it seems like it was intended that way. I have lost a lot of respect for you today, and that makes me sad, and mad.

I'm not mad that you want to spread awareness about mental illness--many of us have always appreciated that about you. I feel that very few people are actually mad about that. What I'm livid and a little heartbroken about is that you felt the need to make a 'joke' at the expense of some of your fans in the process. If you can't see how callously uncalled for that first tweet was, I can't help you. Just know I'm very sad today, because you've proven not to be the kind of person I thought you were. I hope to see better from you in the future.

[laine-o]

Truth be told, as someone who does not believe in herself and values herself so little and constantly feels worthless, I have received such kind messages and gestures over the years during my time in the SS fandom.

Whenever that happens, the part of my heart that has gotten so numb and black over the years starts to feel and beat again.

I’ve actually cried over especially touching messages. It’s like a part of me starts to live again. It’s a jolt in my heart.

But why do I have such an extreme reaction? Some may ask.

Well, I grew up in a household where I was never heard and my emotional needs were hardly met. My mother suffers from mental illness, she’s to this day, extremely toxic and emotionally abusive. My father is an alcoholic, another manifestation of mental illness. My childhood was fraught with witnessing domestic violence on a weekly basis. All of this culminated in an ugly divorce that was never resolved maturely and it’s repercussions largely carried on throughout my formative years as a teenager and into my young adulthood. I largely grew up invisible and as a result, with an extremely deep-seated sense of worthlessness and low self-esteem. I’m an extremely traumatized individual that has started on a journey of recovery this past half a year.

Because of these experiences, I’ve never viewed myself above any other human being. In fact, I’m scared of most people and it’s hard for me to reach out and I’ve been trying a lot harder the past year or two than I have been before. And I’m still unsure of what I should be doing or if I am even doing the right thing half the time.

I have never once viewed what I do as something that needs to be exalted or endlessly praised, put on a pedestal or what have you. Being a lonely, depressed person and someone that feels so very worthless, sharing my art was maybe the only way I could communicate with others. It was, I think, a way for me to express that I wanted to give something and just share a little bit of myself. What I gave freely, I expected nothing back in return.

But the greatest gift I received in sharing artwork, was being a part of something greater than myself. And that something greater is being a part of a fandom. Namely, the SS fandom.

Gift (noun):

1. a thing given willingly to someone without payment; a present

Fanworks are all gifts presented to a fandom and therefore, to it’s community. They are given willingly without payment.

In real life, I give gifts to my friends and family. Some give something back in return, some do not. I am alright with this. I don’t give gifts so I can get something in return. To me, the pleasure of bestowing a gift upon a beloved person to show my appreciation is far more than enough. That’s already the endorphin rush I needed haha

In fandom life, among many other things I do, one of things I focus on is sharing my artwork. I don’t even feel comfortable calling my artwork a “gift” I am giving to the fandom because it imparts a vibe that I think my art is something that deserves special recognition or praise, because it’s not. I don’t expect feedback, reblogs, comments, tag screams or likes in return for my artwork. In fact, because of my own mental issues and depression, lack of self-value, I expect no reactions at all. I’m used to being invisible. It’s not new to me and the life I have lived. I never valued myself or my work enough to truly think it might have an effect on someone enough to receive any sort of feedback. But when I do get feedback and comments, they come to me as a pleasant surprise and are a gift that I appreciate so much. But like the definition states above, gifts are given willingly without payment. These are gifts given to me from the kindness of people’s hearts. This is something that I firmly believe.

Fandom may be nothing without the people who produce fanworks (not true!) because those people are also nothing without their supporters and cherished readers and followers, friends, support groups, group chats. Fandom is a community and is mutually supportive in nature. It is built upon supporting each another. Writers and artists provide emotional support to many by expressing their feelings through their works and stories. The readers and art afficianados (many of which are also writers and artists themselves) support their favorite writers and artists through their comments, likes, reblogs, tag screams, literally just flooding their own blogs, daily, full of content they like. Isn’t this what fandom is about?

I love that there are SO many blogs out there just full of SS content. I am first and foremost an SS fan and it’s these supporters (I consider myself a supporter too) with SS blogs that show us just how much SS work is available out there! That is a gift to me, to see SS everywhere and that’s simply not possible with just writers and artists alone. All of us in some way wallpaper a corner of the Internet with SS content. Some of us through the artwork and fics we create, some of us by sharing others’ artwork and fics on our blogs through retweets and reblogs etc (and I’m referring only to those who do it appropriately and not unauthorized reposters). And some of us, many of us, do both. The SS fandom itself is a gift. This is a great place to be! It’s a happy place.

Let’s keep it happy. Give and expect nothing in return. That passion is going to shine through your work. I promise you’ll touch someone’s heart the way so many of you have touched mine.

[banana-with-a-bow-tie]

"Sure. My inbox/messages are always open for genuine questions. " - Hello again, it's me. Um, since you are close with Lauren (my--darling--dear2), there's something I want to ask about her. About a week ago, she said she was going to turn off anons, but I looked and her askbox is still available to everyone, anons and non-anons. I've even seen her respond to anon questions. **

But the thing is, she hasn't responded to any of my asks. I tried asking once why her askbox was still open to anons if she said she was turning it off, but it's been a few days and she still hasn't said anything. It's making me wonder if that message was directed specifically at me. I know that's probably impossible since she doesn't know me, but, she hasn't really replied to any of my asks since she made that post. I know all this might make me sound selfish, but I'm just worried. **

** Is she angry at me? Did I maybe say something in one of my asks that upset her or made her uncomfortable? Is she just tired of talking to me because I've maybe sent too many asks? **

** I was just wondering if you might know something about this, her turning off anons. Did she really mean it or did she just forget?

Trying to play mind reader is a dangerous game, yet it’s the game everyone on Twitter and Facebook seems determined to play. People will see a 140 character tweet from someone they have never met, retweet it a hundred times over, completely divorce it from its context, then assume they have the authority and comprehensive knowledge to judge what kind of person the op was. We can’t even know the thoughts and feelings in the hearts of our closest friends and family unless they reveal them to us, and you are trying to guess the feelings of a stranger who may be thousands of miles away from you who doesn’t even have a blog to associate you with. 

I don’t know Missy personally, only what she posts, and from what I can tell she is having a hard time right now with a lot of things. There could be any number of reasons why she isn’t answering your questions, and it isn’t fair to her to make assumptions about her when only God really knows her situation perfectly. Nor is it appropriate to bring in another internet stranger who knows less than you do to dispense knowledge that she has apparently been unwilling or unable to share. 

This may not have been your intention, but by involving me in a private personal dispute and coming to me for information that was not forthcoming, you are really engaging in gossip. That’s tough to hear in our internet culture of openly and indiscriminately sharing information, but the truth is, no one is obligated to talk to anyone else on the internet, any more than they are obligated to talk to any of the countless strangers in their home town or country. 

The public forum is a helpful tool. We can use it to enjoy discussion about shared interests and even share the gospel, but there is a time and place for the information we share. Somehow we have turned that free decision to enter in public discussion to say that we are entitled to know everybody’s reasons for everything or that they are required to engage with us when we offer our voice. That’s just not true. The entire world is not entitled to my thoughts on everything. It is not beneficial for me to give my opinion on every ask and every post I see.

Missy has a right to answer whatever questions she feels she is able to answer without giving you an explanation. It doesn’t mean she bears any ill will towards you, and if by some miracle she was able to overcome the barrier of anonymity to bear a personal grudge against you specifically, the place to resolve that is not in the public forum, it’s in private between the two of you. If you love Missy, as much as you can without knowing her, you will assume the best about her and let her answer your questions in her own time.

[uwunnie]

Updates (December 17, 6:30 PM US Mountain Time)

There’s a lot to unpack, so let’s get into it.

-

Voting:

Seoul Music Awards

Android link

Apple link

3 votes daily

Voting ends January 22, 2020

Global Disk Awards

App link

3 daily votes & 2 additional votes if you share the link (there’s full instructions on the link)

Voting ends December 27, 2019

Global Golden Hands (fan-video for Wonho)

Stream the video

There’s also a poll on their YouTube channel page, I think, but I can’t pull it up from my app right now.

Voting ends December 20, 2019

HoneyPop Artist of the Year

Vote here

Twitter: #VoteTHPMonstaX

Voting ends December 20, 2019 - 11:59 PM EST

Idol Champ (Best Song)

Download app

I think you get 30 votes per day

This ends today, but I’m pretty sure there’s always new categories to vote in.

Streaming:

Middle of the Night

Follow and Someone’s Someone on Spotify (Spotify Awards)

Follow performance (MAMA 2019)

Forever & Never Die (MAMA 2019)

MX Moments (MAMA 2019)

⚠️ Remember to not skip ads nor put the videos on the mute. Do not replay otherwise the algorithm thinks you’re a bot. Watch the entire video - especially the mv - without pausing or skipping. Don’t play Spotify songs on loop, and listen to at least 30 seconds otherwise it won’t count. ⚠️

-

Twotuckgom videos:

I made a playlist of all the recent ttg videos. Please stream them! Minhyuk has mentioned that he wishes there were more views so that they could gain more publicity, so let’s stream them for him and all of OT7!

Playlist here.

-

Concerts:

Japanese MBB did the OT7 fan chant at MX’s most recent show in Japan.

At one of the recent shows, MBBs holding Wonho slogans and signs were encouraged by the boys to raise them higher.

If I’m correct, I believe Jooheon actually had a ment where he encouraged MBB to raise their signs up. He mentioned that the signs were very beautiful and that he wanted to see them and asked MBB to raise them up one more time. He didn’t specify exactly which signs, but it’s pretty easy to assume he was referring to the Wonho ones because of him mentioning he noticed MBB were hesitant to hold them up and MBB tweeting from that show explained how the ones holding Wonho signs were afraid of holding them up because they didn’t know if they could.

@joohoneybunch created an OT7 fan chant for their final jingle performance and I believe mbb used it

I think that may be it for concerts.

-

Appearances:

Going back a bit, Monsta X won two awards at MAMA 2019.

Fast-forwarding to more recent events, the active members went to the US for Jingle Ball and it wasn’t too chaotic.

Changkyun said Monsta Truck is about a truck for Monbebe that he wants us all to get on..sure, yeah, def.

When prompted to answer what MBB have taught MX, Minhyuk said ‘love,’ Hyungwon said ‘live,’ and Shownu said ‘dougie.’

They appeared on Ryan & Kelley.

Their B96 interviews are up!

Here’s a Spotify link, but I think there’s videos up on YouTube as well - especially their performances.

VLives were done.

Jooheon had fallen ill prior to coming to the US, but he’s since returned and informed everyone at the last US concert that he’s okay. In addition, at one of the recent shows, he said how MBB have been his strength for getting through his mental and physical sickness.

Back in SK, ISAC commenced and it was...chaotic good?

MX was two hours late - I presume because they had just flown in from America and went directly to ISAC.

MBBs attending ISAC fell asleep while waiting and one of the managers told them to wake up because it was “time to support.” 🥺

MBB said the food provided didn’t taste good.

Minhyuk told MBB to go home and rest.

MX only participated in the categories they had to - I think they were hoping to get banned tbh.

Despite their semi-obvious efforts to lose, MX ended up going to finals.

In addition, despite their efforts to lose and the fact that they had absolutely zero practice beforehand, arrived late, and just came back from the US with probably less than four hours of sleep - they won second place overall.

Hyungwon wore this shirt:

Kihyun basically dyed his hair blue after MBB talked about it on fc.

They’re aware of everything we’ve adopted and bought for them.

-

SBS/KBS:

The top two major news angencies played OT7 footage when talking about MX. This is very unusual, but a good sign because usually when an idol is terminated and/or no longer respected, they get blurred from footage or cropped out, but there was actually a Wonho focus throughout most of the broadcasts’ durations.

This could hint that the general public no longer views him negatively.

-

In addition to new merch for the active members, from my understanding, Twotuckgom has also restocked old Bebegom products, and continues putting a small BBG in the comics.

They also had one comic in particular that showcased one of the goms as a magician who is looking for the ‘rabbit in its hat.’ When it looks inside it’s hat, there’s another gom dresser as a bunny lifting weights with a little BBG hidden in the background. I don’t know about you, but to me that sounds like they’re finding Bebegom like we’re finding Wonho.

TTG’s Twitter also retweeted a rendition that a MBB made of the goms involved in the The Ugly Duckling (I think?) fairytale. Basically, Bebegom leaves because it doesn’t feel like it belongs and the other goms search everywhere until they find each other again.

-

There are projects going on, but I’m not going to post about any until I research them. There’s certain groups I do not support because their intentions are ill, but they hide behind a sort of..veil. When I get time to properly look into everything, I’ll make a post.

-

Searches have been cleared for the most part, but please continue a little bit more since some bad things still pop up when searching certain members.

-

Interesting things are happening with the 🐍🐍, but I’m not going to talk about it publicly. Maybe at some point I’ll release a post, but not until more info emerges.

In the meantime, please refrain from leaving negative comments on either of their social profiles. Don’t make posts, either - even if you think your profile is small enough that no one will see. Trust me, eyes are everywhere and a negative post on an account with so much as 0 followers will still pop up and travel like one for someone with 1000 followers.

-

I think this pretty much sums up what’s been happening as of late. Sorry for being slow - all of this occurred during finals, so I didn’t really have a lot of time to make long posts. Now that I’m on break for a month, I’ll catch up with the recaps and go back to the steady updates.

Continue with your efforts and try to ignore the hypocrites who continue spewing toxicity despite spreading positive mantras.

Honestly, Monbebes have accomplished a lot and made steps towards a positive change in both the industry and the world. In addition, at the end of the day, our goal isn’t to please other fandoms, but win justice for Wonho and other artists who have been wronged, as well as prevent the wrongdoings from incoming and current trainees.

Be proud of being part of the “sticky-note fandom” because regardless of other people’s opinions, we’re not only inspiring and demanding change, but succeeding in doing so.

[purplesurveys]

1053

1. What did you do in 2020 that you'd never done before? Other than the obvious getting-a-job and other adulting stuff, 2020 was the year of my first cigarette, the first time I had to use eye drops, the first time I got sick for longer than a day, and the first time I tried my hand in embroidery.

2. Did you keep your new year's resolutions, and will you make more for next year? I don’t make any because I usually get tired of maintaining them after a few weeks. But idk, last night I had an idea that I want to try a new restaurant by myself every weekend in 2021. It’s very self-care-y which is what I need these days, and it’s definitely feasible now that I have my own money. Given my track record with resolutions I’m not expecting too much, but I still hope I’m able to hold out for as long as I can.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth? I know a co-worker became a mom this year, but I don’t consider myself close to her. We’re cool with each other, but that’s about it. Her baby is the cutest though.

4. Did anyone close to you die? One of my great-aunts passed away in April.

5. What countries did you visit? I stayed put here. It wasn’t like I could get on an airplane this year anyway. The Thailand and Vietnam trips are going to have to wait.

6. What would you like to have in 2021 that you lacked in 2020? Me back.

7. What date from 2020 will remain etched upon your memory, and why? March 10 (the start of the lockdown); August 2 (my university graduation); September 15 (the breakup and Angela’s birthday); November 9 (my first day as an employee).

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year? Being able to be strong enough to stay.

9. What was your biggest failure? Self-harm, or blaming myself.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury? Yeah I got a UTI early in the year, which gave me a week-long fever. I’ve also gotten hundreds of scratches and play bite marks from Cooper since we got him in June.

11. What was the best thing you bought? My embroidery kits! I bought them on a whim and seriously doubting if I’ll ever enjoy it given my previous hatred for anything sewing/knitting; but I’ve already done two templates and I just ordered two more to do during the holiday break. I haven’t gotten much for myself yet because my first paychecks coincide with Christmas lol, but once the gift-giving is out of the way I want to get myself games on the Nintendo Switch, Airpods, and candles.

12. Whose behavior merited celebration? Andrew has been incredibly supportive and patient, and has stuck by me through the whole year whether I was on top of the world, stressing out over our thesis, or in my inconsolable black hole of sadness. No clue where I’d be without them.

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed? Gabie, at least by August. I don’t know anyone who consistently let me down in the last 12 months.

14. Where did most of your money go? Christmas gifts for others; for myself, Starbucks coffee and pastries.

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about? Graduating college and sharing my graduation photo with everyone. I remember also having been super excited to work on my birthday gift for Gab, which was to make a short video for her using iMovie (which I had never touched before until then). I was the best fucking girlfriend. Also, getting Cooper!!

16. What song will always remind you of 2020? Not sure. Music wasn’t a big part of my life this year. Maybe Why We Ever by Hayley Williams? I put it on repeat too many times in 2020.

17. Compared to this time last year, are you:

i. Happier or sadder? A lot sadder.

ii. Thinner or fatter? Said sadness made me lose my appetite and a whole bunch of weight by the latter part of the year. All of my shorts and jeans have gotten loose around my waist, so I’ve definitely felt the weight loss.

iii. Richer or poorer? I’m richer now, but only because I didn’t have a job before and I do now. My family’s finances have taken a blow due to the pandemic, though. I try to help by chipping in for the electricity bill, and buying my family nice food every now and then. 

18. What do you wish you'd done more of? Love myself, appreciate myself, thank myself. All the self-love crap I didn’t think I deserve.

19. What do you wish you'd done less of? Tolerating bullshit I knew I didn’t deserve but kept going with anyway.

20. How will you be spending Christmas? We’ll be with my mom’s side on the 24th; having family come over to our place on the 25th; and will be going to my dad’s side on the 26th. Gonna be the most hectic three days ever and I’m PUMPED tbh lol. It’ll be the busiest we’ve been all year.

21. What was the most embarrassing thing that happened to you in 2020? Meh, I just hated the times I made mistakes at work as I hate fucking up in general and looking bad in front of colleagues.

22. Did you fall in love in 2020? I stayed in it.

23. How many one-night stands? No thanks.

24. What was your favorite TV program? The Crown was, until it got associated with painful memories and I had to put my viewing indefinitely on hold. My favorite show this year would be either Descendants of the Sun or Start Up; both are amazingly good.

25. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year? I don’t think so. I don’t throw that word around a lot anyway.

26. What was the best book you read? Bret Hart’s memoir was a fun read.

27. What was your greatest musical discovery? Beach House and Chase Atlantic. ALSO, Twice lolololol

28. What did you want and get? My first job.

29. What did you want and not get? Commitment from the one person I asked it from.

30. What was your favorite film of this year? I didn’t watch a lot of movies this year. I actually think I just saw one?? which is really unlike me; but it wasn’t a big year for film anyway. I have yet to see Ammonite, which I already think I’ll love.

31. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you? I turned 22 and I just stayed at home with family while my best friend and her boyfriend sent over sushi for me.

32. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying? If I got to keep my relationship, which I thought had been faring well until she abruptly pulled the plug on everything.

33. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2020? Casual and didn’t really evolve too much considering I didn’t go out a lot.

34. What kept you sane? Good Mythical Morning. I owe my life to them. And embroidery.

35. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most? I didn’t develop a crush on him until this month lmaaaaaaao but Kim Seon Ho is so so so so so dreamy.

36. What political issue stirred you the most? The shutdown of ABS-CBN early in the year and the US elections.

37. Who did you miss? My friends in my org.

38. Who was the best new person you met? The people at my workplace that I ended up having a great rapport with.

39. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2020: From a tweet I retweeted: “You keep bad people around you and make excuses for their behavior because if you decided to hold even one person accountable, you’d have to recognize the offenses you’ve ignored and accepted. You’ll realize how much you’ve invalidated your own pain to ensure the comfort of others.” It was a harsh slap in the face, but I needed to hear it.

[centrally-unplanned]

(Some very uncharitable and high-context ranting of stuff coming up here)

Kipo and the Age of the Wonderbeasts dropped on Netlifx this week, and even though lots of western animation suffers from this “we are for kids! but also...not?” rut in terms of writing and plotting I still enjoy following the medium as an animation junkie. And Kipo has some real strengths going for it in the animation and design department. Its part of a growing trend of shows pushing away from the “CalArts” style, using the hybridized “western anime” design pioneered in Avatar: The Last Airbender, which allows for much more expressive action animation and a greater range of character emotion. Kipo also doesn’t shy away from putting in the work on detailed backgrounds, necessary given their fantastical apocalyptic setting, and getting creative with the way they communicate motion with some Warner-Brothers style zany-ness. 

(Also its definitely drawing some influence from The Boondocks. At first I wonder if that thought was, *ahem*, ‘biased’ in some way, but by the time you see Wolf in her flashback school uniform it goes from influence to straight-up reference. And its logical - Studio Mir, the South Korean company that Dreamworks partnered with for Kipo, made Season 4 of The Boondocks. They also made Korra, so yeah none of this animation direction is much of a surprise.)

Anyway, so Kipo has some inventive animation and design choices, despite its workhouse plot and a very thematically-contradictory ending (an essay for another time). It would be cool to talk about this direction with other people, right? So I go on twitter to see the discussion, and literally every single point of discussion is either official promotion or celebration of this:

I’m sure this is no surprise to anyone, and it honestly shouldn’t have been to me. I had momentarily forgotten that, though, because this scene in the show is...kindof terrible? Watching it made me groan out loud.

To give the briefest context possible, this scene occurs in an episode where the main female character, Kipo, asks out our friend Benson up here and this is his rejection. The problem with the scene are two-fold: for one, Kipo and Benson have had absolutely zero romantic chemistry before the 5 minutes leading up to this scene. Hes actually the background character in comparison to Kipo’s relationship to another character, Wolf. The romantic chemistry just sortof “appears”, she asks him out, he rejects, then after that scene, her feelings for him never come up again in the show. Its never mentioned or hinted at, they are just deleted from existence - which of course they were, they only existed so he could explicitly say the phrase “I’m gay”. 

The second problem is a world-building one - Benson grew up in the post-apocalyptic ruins of earth, alone, without a single other human around. He has only vague artifacts from earth, and no human society. He is maybe 13? And has never dated or had romantic feelings for anyone. He should really have minimal self-awareness of what his sexual orientation is, or the language to express it, certainly not in the confidence done here. This is actually a frequent issue with the show - characters from a post-apocalypse setting make casual references to things from modern society they would have no real way of knowing - this just happens to be the worst example of it. It was done this way of course because him being gay isn’t really sufficient - its about the declaration, about saying it in *our* words.

And I just know that, if I was actually engaging in the Kipo “fan sphere”, I could not say any of this. Not that I would be attacked or whatever - its just that no one would care. The logic, construction, art of the scene, all of that is irrelevant beyond the checkbox of validation-through-representation. And the density of conversations around representation, around shipping, etc, are just suffocating - there is very little space to get a word in otherwise sometimes. The weaponization of this suffocation to castigate non-participants as social regressives just compounds the problem.

Its moments likes these that crystallize how certain things are just not made for you, not because of the product itself but because of how the product is embedded into cultural groups. And its hard sometimes not to be judge-y about it, to watch media get reduced down to tokenized components by the fandom’s that consume them and think of that as bad.  And of course show designers know this dynamic - this Kipo scene exists the way it does to be direct fanservice to that audience. Its the jiggling anime breasts of western wokedom. These dynamics shape not just the fandoms, but the shows themselves, looping perpetually.

This is where this whole thought process is highly unfair - the actual people don’t individually only care about these few reified things, those are just the loudest voices, the most retweeted and upvoted comments. Yet I don’t see a reason to ignore my own feelings, that I shouldn’t waste my time engaging with people primed to be so distant from my own concerns. Ill just discuss animation with the communities that do value these things (anime, disney movies, etc). How that is a self-fulling prophecy, evaporative cooling writ large to fandom discourse, is obvious, but sometimes the fight isn’t worth it.

(I obviously need to post some of my policy/history/econ writings here, before I morph completely into a media discourse monster)

[spaloonbabooguuscooties]

I know I’m asking a huge question. But do have any headcanons for your new characters Henrietta Lang, Darling Dora, Plum Plaguily and Ace High? (Backstories, where they came from, if they are in any romantic relationships, and what is their relationship with other characters such as the Showdown Bandit and Redeye Rosario?)

AHHH well i can give very basic background info on each of them! maybe ill retweet that old oc promp list again for anyone that wants to know more or you can ask more detailed q’s later... ANYWAY

HENRIETTA- Used to be in a gang called the Bangtail Bandits with two other people. They were train robbers who were good at one they did with a large bounty on their head. Things were going well for them up until one of the other bandits sold Henrietta out, and she was taken to jail by a Certain bounty hunter.

Luckily for Henrietta, on the day she was set to hang she managed to escape jail, and fled to Showdown Valley. She happened upon a meager funeral service, and, claiming to be the recently departed’s grieving widow (she, fortunately, is a Very Good actress) shacked up in the house he’d left behind. Now she spends her days in disguise, writing trashy romance novels- sometimes taking ‘inspiration’ from the people around her- and painting.

Unfortunately for her, the bounty hunter Red Eye is still looking to collect the price on her head.

PLUM- Plum always had a fascination with the medical practices, but was always forbidden from following her dreams. She grew up frustrated, sneaking peeks at her father’s medical journals for as much info as she could, but never quite got to practice what little info she had- until the stringless started showing up.

One by one her family was picked off, leaving Plum to take what books she could and make a run for it. The tragedy of the situation never deterred her from her interest, and even stoked the flames of her passion. Now she lives in an old house on the outskirts of the valley, practicing her medicine on outlaws that would normally be turned away by more ‘upstanding’ doctors, and mostly keeping to herself.

Her goal is to hopefully one day find a solution to the stringless epidemic, and, when she’s able, runs experiments on what ones she can capture in the confines of her basement.

ACE- A no good low down Snake Oil salesman. She used to own a gambling ring out in the big city until she lost all of her money when it came to light she was cheating, and was chased out. Now she’s trying to make her money back the only way she knows how- by lying through her teeth.

Her charisma is high, and she commands the room quite well with a booming voice and a big personality. It’s hard not to fall for her honeyed words.

DORA- A young lady that came from a big, Big family of bandits, she was set to learn the tricks of her lineage trade at 18, until quite suddenly the sherriff arrived at the door of their manor and took every single member of her family in. Everyone except Dora, who had no bounty to her name.

Determined to bail them out, Dora set out to collect the money the only way she knew how- by stealing. Unfortunately, with such little skill, and her inherent clumsiness and kind hearted nature, she’s Very Bad At It. Even when joining other bandit gangs she always seems to fumble and get left behind. But even with her failures her optimism keeps her marching on, no matter how many jabs with a knife or shotgun slugs to the gut.