#maybe ill actually make a plan for next year
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Diagnosed with Hanahaki, a genetic autoimmune disease, as a child, Steve has learned to live with it. Along the way, he finds a family and falls in love with Eddie. He is never cured, but he lives.
Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6
The conversation with Jonathan and Nancy couldn't be called easy, but it was manageable enough for Steve to do it at a time that wasn't even planned. Maybe it was the lack of planning that made it easier, maybe it was the practice he'd been getting over the last few weeks.
Jonathan apologized profusely, for the pictures he'd taken in '83, for the punch, and for having gotten together with Nancy before she and Steve had actually broken up. Nancy was a little more complicated. Her apologies only came after a lot of pointing out, about all the times she hadn't noticed what was going on with Steve, and she ended up feeling so bad and guilty that Steve almost had to console her.
Luckily, Jonathan had the good sense to try to hold back their emotional response for later, and they both tried to act normally. The next time they met, it was impossible for Steve to help but notice how worn out they both looked, with even bigger bags under their eyes than usual. So, they had to talk a second time, just to make sure that no, Hanahaki didn't start because of either of them and with everything related to the Upside Down happening, they were far from having caused his health to worsen.
It was a lie, but there was no point in wanting them to blame each other after all this time, especially just because of Hanahaki. Steve wished things between the three of them had been simpler, but the illness had nothing to do with it. And after all, compared to everything that had happened, it wasn't that important.
In the midst of all this, he kept talking to Eddie. He shared the fact that his parents' marriage seemed to have improved after his mother was diagnosed and he had never been able to understand that.
He told her how his mother seemed like the protagonist of a dramatic movie, always suffering with such elegance. He remembered one week, when she was bedridden at home, he had to get up very early to get her makeup and help her brush her hair, even though a nurse would come in later and do exactly the same thing.
When he asked about it, his mother said, “I don’t want to be seen like that, Steve.”
At the time, he didn’t understand, but he was happy to be of service. Months later, when he was diagnosed, he remembered that day and was even more confused, because it was so tiring just to exist, how could he care how shiny his hair looked? When his cheeks were flushed and his lips were soft?
It took him years to realize why it felt so good to try to take care of his appearance when there was so little he could do for his own body. It was comforting.
But he didn’t share that memory with Eddie. Not yet.
He just kept talking about his parents. About how Mrs. Harrington liked to have romantic dinners regularly and she had mentioned about ten honeymoons. It was one of her favorite topics of conversation, and she especially loved trying new hobbies or even sports during those trips. His father was okay with it, just so she would be happy.
“I don’t think she wanted to be a mother, just my father’s wife.”
“Absurd!” Eddie exclaimed, anger hidden under theatrics. He let go of the steering wheel for a moment before gripping it tightly, pulling the van into the center of the correct lane. That day, Steve had his monthly checkup and Eddie asked to accompany him, promising a movie afterwards, in a neighboring city. “How could anyone choose your father over you?”
And there it was, once again, Eddie’s ability to make the wounds that Steve hadn’t even mentioned hurt less.
“It’s just that she’s always been in love with him. When I was a kid, I thought it was the most romantic thing in the world. I even wanted to have the same thing.” He laughed thinking about the absurdity of it. “To love so much that even if that person made me feel so much pain, they would also make me very happy.” Steve sighed, serious again. “But I still want someone who would stay with me on a romantic night or sleep in an uncomfortable chair in the hospital.”
Before Eddie had time to say anything, he turned up the volume of the music.
A few hours later, he confessed that Mr. Harrington was that person to his mother, but not in the right way. Because he indulged in his illness almost like a hobby, very involved in it until he was not around Mrs. Harrington and something else caught his attention.
Steve noticed this when his father called and informed him, very casually, that she was in the ICU. He would spend a fortune to make her live well, yet he seemed barely able to realize that her life was in danger.
A few days later, with the test results in hand and feeling stronger, he invited the kids over for a movie night at his apartment. Hopper offered to help tell them and was so worried that he decided to spend the night at a diner when Steve refused. Joyce, less extreme, promised to be just a phone call away.
Jonathan and Nancy weren’t there, because they all figured the kids would be less upset if it wasn’t obvious that they were the last ones to find out.
Guys.” Steve clapped his hands together, then put them on his hips, standing in front of the TV. “I have an announcement to make.”
“Are you serious?” Mike yelled. “We’re here for the movies!”
“Shut up, idiot.”
“We’re here for the movies,” Dustin interjected into the fight that was already starting to form between Max and Mike. “But we’re going to listen to Steve.”
“You’d hear it anyway, you know, we have three adults here to keep you brats in check.” Robin stood next to Steve and began clapping her hands until everyone was quiet. “Steve.”
Then she went to join Eddie, who was standing behind the kids, silent and watchful.
It was good to have them both there, someone to look at without letting himself be consumed by terror.
“This has nothing to do with the Upside Down, but it’s very important, so I’ve already talked to Hopper and Joyce too and I don’t want you to get upset, okay? I’m going to talk to everyone about this in the way I thought would make this easier.”
At this point, no one seemed more scared than Max or Dustin. Even Mike, who was trying to keep his expression irritated, looked worried and was the only one who had the courage to speak up.
“Why make such a mystery? Just say it.”
“I’m sick. Hanahaki.”
There were no more movies for the rest of the night, just tears, screaming and hugs. Max barely left Steve’s side and Dustin kept checking his pulse, as if he couldn’t see with his own eyes that Steve was alive. They also had to explain Hanahaki to El and she was so upset that she joined Max. Lucas did too, after a few minutes. He and Will were the quietest, looking too shaken to know how to react.
Dustin got irritated and started talking nonstop about the health care system. Eddie, finding resonance in Dustin’s feelings, also started roasting the pharmaceutical industry.
They all slept together, huddled together, in the living room.
In the middle of the night, Mike, having the same thought as his sister, asked if Nancy had anything to do with it and after being assured that she didn't, Steve realized that he would once again need to educate the people he loved about how Hanahaki really worked and about his family.
When everyone finally left in the early evening of the next day, he only had a few hours before he realized that he would probably need to have a walkie-talkie on him at all times, because everyone wanted to make sure he was okay.
The next time he and Eddie were alone together, Steve continued to talk.
It was a little embarrassed that he confessed that, although he had always wanted his parents’ love, he was relieved by the huge distance between them, because he wouldn’t have to worry about being the cause of his mother’s downfall. Because he couldn’t even imagine what it was like to be so loved by someone who had a disease so influenced by emotions. It seemed terrifying.
“I must be very selfish.”
“For wanting to preserve yourself? Everyone wants that, it’s not selfish, it’s human.”
“I didn’t give you that option.”
Eddie grabbed Steve by the shoulders so they were face to face.
“You did. You practically put a warning sign on your forehead. We all chose to stay here. Because you’re part of our lives and we love you, Hanahaki isn’t going to change any of that.”
Careful with every move he made toward Steve, Eddie leaned in until he could put his head in the crook of Steve’s neck, for the first time in a long time looking like he was the one who needed comfort.
Steve couldn’t describe how happy he was that he could still provide that and tightened his arms around Eddie.
“If it were up to me, you know where we’d be right now. You’re the one being so careful about this, so I don’t regret it. Don’t ever insinuate that you’re selfish for allowing us to feel the joy of being in your life.”
Steve didn't know if he could ever stop feeling guilty, but he would try.
One afternoon, when Steve came home from his shift at Family Video, he found Eddie standing at his door, a folder full of papers in his hand. He didn’t say anything, just waited for Steve to come in and followed.
“I did some research,” he announced and waved the papers. “Dustin helped me a lot, because he’s much better at research than I am.”
And Eddie launched into a somewhat confusing monologue about how 4.4 out of every 500,000 people had the Hanahaki gene and only a few of them actually had a real chance of developing the disease, and even in those cases, environmental factors were very important. In conflict zones, for example, the chances of acute and fatal manifestations were up to 300% higher than in other patients. 5 to 10% of carriers would be lucky enough to only have mild symptoms even under periods of intense stress, but without proper treatment, even those people would be at very serious risk.
Almost all of Hanahaki’s patients who survive the first two years require at least one transplant at some point in their lives. He talked about the complications, the lacerations of internal organs, the blood clotting problems, the cirrhosis, the hypertension, the encephalopathy.
“Steve, I said I’d do my research, and I did. I’m not a smart guy, not that smart.” He held up a piece of paper at random. “I’ve never been interested in medicine, and I’ve never been good at science, so there are some things I may not have understood that well, but I’ve learned a lot. I’m not going into this blind. I know what the expectations are here, I’m a grown man and I can make my own decisions. And I want you. I’ve wanted you, somehow, since high school, I wanted you when I saw how the kids adored you, I wanted you when you came to me even though everyone thought I was a murderer. I wanted you when I saw you take off your shirt, when you jumped in the lake, when you fought the Demobats, when you walked with me through hell. When you pulled me out of there. I’ve wanted you constantly, all the time, for all these months.” He took a deep breath. “I want you. I love you.”
Steve knew that no matter how happy he was, there would always be things that would hurt him. He would always have scars on his lungs, roots tangled in his ribs, internal bleeding, shortness of breath, injuries… There would always be a million problems, one after the other. Maybe he only had a few years left.
But Eddie knew that too. He knew that sometimes he would need to take care of Steve, and that he would need to learn to control his anger better, that he would always have to be careful when he communicated a problem, that he would need to offer reassurance and remind Steve that he was loved. He knew it would be hard. He knew the risk of coming out of this with a broken heart.
Even knowing the potential disaster, Steve kissed Eddie knowing it would be worth it.
#Now I just need to post some of my thoughts while writing this#I had a lot of thoughts#because I wanted to write more#but it didn't fit into my initial proposal of writing two parts#Also#some things are just vague ideas#nothing that I really knew how to develop#steddie#steve harrington#eddie munson
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𓆩♡𓆪 crazy that there are infinities inside me for real.//.
#imjustsittinghere#my friend texted me from berlin right now just like#he said all the outfits hes seen so far are crazy and that id love it there#he said its montreal if montreal was serious lol#literally how i was like maybe ill move tomontreal or berlin like. if that isnt serendipitous#gonna make my way there one day i swear#maybe ill actually make a plan for next year#think i might try to spend some time in malta maybe meet up with some friends in berlin? would be kind of cool for like a week or something#spend a month in malta if i can maybe?#ideally if i could get someone to sublet my room in toronto that would be perfect so i wouldnt waste all my rent money#but if i hold onto my job i can bring my laptop there and work a couple shifts so its not like a complete write off u know?#maybe next fall...thatd be the fun time to go i think anyway n gives me a lot of time to save up#if i can stop myself from spending money on clothes i could fr do it lol#jus gotta focus on making my own#n i just got a brand new dope ass hoodie so im satiated for now#extremly jealous tho my friends are in berlin rn and going to paris for a couple days#going montreal at least tho next weekend with some other friends n going skiing n probably to a cool skate bar#at least thats hype <3#on my evil villain arc which really just means im trying to be less scared and follow my dreams a little#hope it works : )#really do love the whole my boss said i look like a villain thing tho im latching onto that heavy#kind of been playing with this creative space/idea of embracing the lil demon imp that lives in me so it just seems very timely and fitting#jsut really identifying with the word imp idk more on that later
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Hello Zundamon.
#i built the little plafia zundamon figure kit! i was like#a little scared because ive only ever done like one gundam once years ago#BUT it went pretty smooth and it was fun#a couple tiny pieces i think ill need to glue later (the tiny necktie specifically) but most stuck together pretty solid press fit#her legs fall off all the time while posing but thats just the nature of this type of joint so im used to it#the default and scared face are pre painted but the other four have waterslide decals which was scary cause id never done those before#BUT actually it was chill and pretty easy LOL just finicky#later i guess ill use some doll sealant i have around to seal the decals in#shes so silly....maybe sometime ill get the ankomon ver too...and i think theyre planning on making a zunko#id specifically looooove an itako but i imagine if they do all they'll do kiritan next#which also isnt bad theyre all silly sisters + their weird freak pet zundamon <3#SHE didnt come with a stand i think that was exclusive for like. a limited edition from the companys store#which that will be an adventure trying to find a stand for her.....but somehow i got her to balance for this photo LOL#she canNOT stand by herself 99% of the time tho her big ass head tail thing and tiny feet forbid it#but i had fun building her and now i have a funny little thang on my desk. hello zundamon.#edit: now i will say. my aim is bad when cutting off the plastic nubs#i am going to be stepping tiny plastic bits stuck in my carpet for days <3
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several days and 15 thousand words later, i am relieved to report that the suffocating urge to Write Something has been sated and no longer has me in a chokehold
#Seven.txt#writing stuff#thinking of that post that’s like ‘u Have To make art or all the ideas stay stuck in ur brain and make u sick’ bc yeah thats been the vibe#wish i wasn’t so all or nothing about it tho. but alas. i’m that way with everything in my life#i either expect 10k in a day from myself or i don’t write at all for weeks. or months :)#and my average pace is about 500 words per hour. so u can see. how that might be a problem. given how many hours are in a day.#and that’s obviously not sustainable. but idk if it’s adhd or what but it’s So hard to quickly start and stop tasks just Whenever#i struggle to be one of those ppl that can consistently write like. 500 words a day every day and then wow! soon you have a whole novel#nah. once i get myself in the Zone then i’m Goin’ and i can’t stop until i’m Done or i collapse from ignoring my body’s needs lmao#it’s something i should make an effort to do though bc i’d love to be consistently chipping away at things instead of working in bursts#anyways this is a lotta negative self-commentary for what is actually a Positive post! bc yay!! i wrote a thing!! Two things actually!!! 🎉#i got the follow-up to last year’s Matt oneshot done And i wrote the next chapter of Heaven in Hiding after uh. a year and some months#i wanted to blow the dust off the ol’ keyboard by starting with writing some less. uh. high-stakes(?) stuff#not that i didn’t put my all into writing them. i always do. just that ik they’ll have less of an audience so ill cringe less if they suck#so then i can hopefully do justice to the [N]MbD stuff that i’ll be putting out next! ehehe *rubbing my hands together* Finally#the next two [N]MbD fics r already written but the first little one needs a final edit#and then the Big one for. uh. someone (u kno who u r) needs a bit of rewriting i think. i wanna make it Better#so release schedule will be 1. Matt • 2. HiH Ch.3 • 3. [N]MbD small fic • 4. [N]MbD Big fic#then i’m gonna write a lil Boothill comfort oneshot. then i’ll edit/maybe rewrite and post that Dew (Ghost) OCD comfort oneshot#i also wanna keep writing the last couple chapters of HiH before i unintentionally abandon it again#and after/amidst all that maybe i’ll manage to get ES Ch.6 written and posted before the end of the year 😭#anyways ik i’ve made posts like this before. talking abt all these Plans of mine. and most of those things r Still stuck in the pipeline#so don’t put too much stock into this plan. i could have another Bad couple of months and get None of it done#but god i sure fucking hope not. i’d really like to cling to my creativity. if for no other reason than that it makes me happy
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happy valentine's day i don't have anything prepared rn but i am making heart chocolate cookies and some art so i might show them later for now just take this reminder
#theyre not having sex for valentines day so somebody has to in their stead#i wanted to treat myself to shortcake and a fancy meal but im actually going out to see kaguya sama movie tomorrow#and i need the money to treat myself then#japanese food... chocolate ice dessert ....pita gyros....choco frappe....maybe a vintage item or two#those are my plans#i guess its belated valentines plans?#i cant meet my friends cause something came up but i have money next month so ill be ok then hopefully#anyway#happy gaylentines#yaoimas (february edition)#cant wait for yurite day next month#valentines is my favourite season cause everyone makes everything chocolate and melty and i love grand romantic gestures#ive never been in a relationship but hopefully one day#when i get out of shoptanuki era#but yeah#i#yeah#happy valentine's 2007inators#hopefully i can celebrate and treat my friends to something neat next year
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I can't wait until we don't have to say goodbye for weeks on end.
#i just want to get married to him#and then we wouldn't have to me hundreds of miles apart#this isnt nearly as bad as when we were 6 hours apart#but its going to be 3½ hours away#ill get to see him once a month at least#and we'll have to video call or something#maybe play like deep rock galactic or something#i do pc gaming and he does Xbox#we'll figure it out#long distance relationship#long distance love#he has a year and a half of military obligations and ill have 2 years of grad school#again I literally just want to be with him#its so hard not being together for such a long time#we'll make it through but jeeze#and if anything next year we can actually start planning a wedding#which will either be at his church or the one ill be at for grad school#i like fr kelly but again we shall see what happens#thats at his church#he said hes more worried about me because ill probably low-key lose my mind#or just cry#i cried on the way home because I won't be back home with him until Thanksgiving or Christmas#its tough when I feel called both to marriage with him and to grad school#grad school is also fully funded so im not paying anything#through the university
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man I don't even wanna watch this ep anymore
#cant rly cancel bc im the one that made plans. maybe i can just leave halfway thru and say im too tired but ill finish it in my own time#or maybe ill sit there and just shut my mouth and no one will care either way#at least this isnt a mentally ill mood swing its just bc im tired and crashing snd its my birthday next week and i fucking hate birthdays#not even bc of ageing i dont give a fuck abt that i just cant celebrate them its too much and i dont even wanna get into it rn#but i can almost guarantee i will end up ventposting abt it clsoer to the time anyway bc im insane#remembering now i even made a whole vent comic for it 3 years ago.. and here we are still with the same problems. ugh!#okay. okay making an effort to be nice and play along its just an hour or so anyway and then i can finally fucking sleep#and ill apologise tomorrow. when im actually sorry#.diaries#.vent#my magical ability to get pissed off at anything. theyre talking abt how u have to suffer to get anywhere in life in the gc rn#barely restraining myself jumping in to say that sometimes suffering is just suffering and unnecessary and we dont need to valorise it#as a form of purpose or whatever. why does life even need to have a purpose cant we just be trying to get by and get along#ouuuuurgrghrgrgghrghgrghrgfrhgrh okay. i need to wash up my dishes
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𝐁𝐢𝐫𝐭𝐡𝐝𝐚𝐲 𝐬𝐞𝐱 - 𝐂𝐡𝐫𝐢𝐬 𝐒𝐭𝐮𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐨𝐥𝐨
summary: it's your special day, your 20th birthday! chris hasn't given you a present all day, and nothing seems to be going to plan, but he makes up for it later.
contains: public sex, smut, fluff, soft dom!chris, swearing, crying.
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8:54am
i wake up to chris planting kisses all over my face, a stupid grin painted across his face.
"chriss.." i groan, rubbing my eyes as i sit up in our double bed.
"happy birthday!!" he says, pulling me by my arms up onto the floor, im so unstable i stumble over.
my birthday has always been my favorite day of the year, everyones attention were on me, it was just going to be a stress-free day with my friends, my boyfriend and his brothers.
"shit." chris says, picking me back up, holding me in a bridal position. "you excited!!" he says, placing me back down on my feet
"love you chris." i smile, walking over to the wardrobe and pulling out the outfit ive had planned for days.
ive known chris for 11 years, he was my bestfriend until 1 year ago, when he became my boyfriend.
i strip off my pyjamas, leaving me revealed as i scramble through the shelves to find underwear.
i feel chris's eyes laying on me, "you feel elderly yet?" he says, breaking the comfortable silence.
i scoff "very."
"you look good for how old you are" chris jokes, walking over to my side.
i see his hand reach out, but he pauses instantly when the door rattles. "y/n!" i hear nick call out, i can hear the smile on his face.
"im butt naked right now nick, ill be out in a few!" i call out, chris shakes his head with a grin painted across his face.
"gross." i hear nick say back, slightly quieter this time.
"nick its 9 in the morning what do you take me for!" i say, pulling up my skirt, and readjusting my tanktop. i get on my toes, planting a kiss on chris's nose before unlocking the door.
im met with nick, a bunch of balloons in hand with matt standing next to him. their face light up as they see me.
"you're looking kinda wrinkly.." matt says, pulling me into a hug.
"do i actually look old cause you're the second person to point out my 'aging'" i ask, nick handing me the balloons
-
12:06pm
nick, matt, chris, madi, nate and i have been hanging around the sturniolos house for the day, i've spent the majority of the morning laughing, until a pile of wrapped presents from my friends appears in front of me.
i open them all, thanking whoever gifted it to me with a hug.
chris doesn't give me one though?
i brush it off, maybe he just forgot.
to make things worse, ive just been told madi and nate were both scheduled to leave at 1, both needing to go to nates final ice hockey game, which the sturniolos and i were going to skip.
"oh fuck, we better go madi." nate says, jumping up off the couch and grabbing his keys. madi's sighs before leaning down, squeezing me in a hug. my heart sinks a little, today was meant to be a day with my friends.
"love you y/n, we'll update you about what happens later!" they call out before the door swings shut.
-
ive been sitting on my bed for 2 hours, scrolling aimlessly on my phone as chris sits on the other side of the room at his desk in silence, the faint clicking noise from his keyboard filling the room.
today was meant to be perfect.
i feel my throat dry up as i let out a shaky breath.
ive never cried on my birthday, i've always been too distracted to even think about getting upset, but now, when today has just felt normal, the tears are building up.
i mean, it hasnt been a bad day. its just been too regular.
i feel a few tears fall down my cheeks as i stare at chris's back.
i try my best to stay silent, but a broken sob exits my mouth, i slam a hand over my lips. chris's head snaps back to look at me, his face drops. "oh shit.." chris mumbles before speed-walking over to me, throwing himself down onto the bed to face me.
the tears won't stop now, even with my failed attempts to make excuses up to chris.
"sweetheart please don't cry." chris says softly, holding me in a tight hug as my eyes dampen his shoulder. "talk to me gorgeous, i know you love your birthday you shouldn't be crying yeah?"
"i dont know.." i say in between sobs, chris stays silent, he knows im lying.
"i just wanted it to be perfect.." i sniff, chris rubs my back.
"can i show you something..?" chris says awkwardly, pulling away from the hug. my eyebrows furrow, "okay..?" i say. chris grabs my hands, pulling me up out of bed. he leans down and grabs a sweater from the floor, putting it on my body before taking my hand again.
he walks us downstairs in silence, he seems nervous. chris opens the front door, we walk towards his car and he opens the door to let me in. "ladys first.." he says, trying to lighten the mood.
-
we've been driving for about 3 minutes before chris breaks the silence, "i was meant to take you here later but.. you know." he says, tapping his fingers lightly on the steering wheel.
i nod, chris accelerates slightly as we drive up a hill, we suddenly come to a halt. chris clears his throat, as he turns off the car.
we're parked in a small parking lot on top of a hill, theres trees directly infront of us, the sunset just peeking through the leaves. chris grabs my hand gently, "uh chris?" i ask, he just kisses my lips "shh."
we go through the trees until we they stop, my jaw drops, theres a small picnic blanket, some flowers layed on it along with a note.
its the same spot where me and chris kissed eachother for the first time, 4 years ago.
chris has never been the romantic type, he finds it 'yuck' apparently.
"chris oh my god.." i say, chris is fidgeting with the ties of his sweatpants. i sit down on the picnic blanket, with a groan chris sits down next to me.
"i think this is the sweetest thing anyones done for me.." i say, wrapping my arms around him.
chris shakes his head "shut upp..." he smiles.
"no seriously, i might cry again right now."
"don't you dare." chris says with a small laugh.
a comfortable silence grows between us as the sunsets, i break it after a few minutes.
"we should fuck."
"what?" chris says, his head snapping round to look at me.
"no just think about it, 4 years ago we had our first kiss here, so we should hook up here!" i say, concealing my laugh.
"i meannn whatever you want" chris says, trying not to seem as eager as he actually is.
i pull off my shirt, discarding it on the picnic blanket. theres trees behind us, and a cliff infront of us, its pretty private.
chris helps my shorts off, before laying me down softly on my back, he places his hoodie down under my head as a pillow. "you comfy?" he asks, spreading my legs open wider. i nod, chris pulls down his sweatpants and boxers in one motion, his erection springing out.
he smiles, holding my waist with two hands and lining himself up with me, "ready?" he asks, maintaining eye contact. "very." i smile back.
chris presses his tip inside of me, i stretch around his size, reaching out a hand, chris grabs my it.
he finally pushes the whole way into me, a desperate moan escapes my mouth. "such a pretty noise yeah?" chris says, his voice hoarse as he starts to thrust into me, his tip brushing my cervix each time.
strings of moans and whimpers exit my mouth as i squeeze his hand tighter, chris keeps a firm grip on my waist. "so so good for me, squeezing my dick so well." chris groans.
with each thrust, the knot in my stomach becomes tighter, i arch my back off the picnic blanket, "fuck chris oh my god." i yell, "cum for me gorgeous, can feel you clenching..." he says, stumbling over his words.
with a scream of his name the knot in my stomach snaps, chris pulls out, painting my stomach with white streaks. "g-..good girl." chris says, flopping down next to me on the blanket.
-
we've been laying here for the past hour, laughing, talking and watching the moon. the summer air is warm on my bare body, we both couldnt be bothered to get changed just yet.
"you know.." chris says, running a hand through his hair.
"hm?" i ask, looking over to see his face, which is barely illuminated.
"we should make this a traditon, ya know? birthday sex."
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i really liked writing this, thank you for the request babe
#sturniolo#sturniolo smut#sturniolo triplets#matt sturniolo x reader#chris sturniolo x reader#sturniolo fanfic#nick sturniolo#matt sturniolo#chris sturniolo#sturniolo x reader
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𝐘𝐨𝐮 𝐰𝐚𝐧𝐭 𝐭𝐨 𝐠𝐢𝐯𝐞 𝐦𝐞 𝐚 𝐠𝐢𝐟𝐭 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫𝐬𝐞𝐥𝐟?
𝐒𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲: Your buddy Ethan had some other plans for you on your bus trip. A perfect chance to exchange gifts.
𝐂𝐰: Literally just a handjob in a bus.
It was 6.30 in the morning when the usual alarm, that had been put to rest for a while now, made its final wake up call. With a groan you dragged your hands across your face before ultimately lying on your bed. Sprawled out like a star just staring at the ceiling for a good while before actually deciding it's time to get up. ‘One last trip with these losers..’
This trip was an ‘end of the year’ sort of event, compiled by your homeroom teacher as a surprise for the class. You all had passed your finals and now were walking on the path to adulthood or university if that’s what you fancied. A nice trip with the people you’ve known longest, as a goodbye of sorts seemed nice. That was exactly what you intended to do, have fun.
---
Waiting for the teachers and classmates ended up taking longer than anticipated, so your gaze that for some odd reason was hyper focused on the abnormally tall blade of grass whipping in the wind brought some comfort in the chilly morning. Though the appreciation of a nice morning was cut short when you were practically jumped by someone. Hands wrapping around your neck as a familiar voice could be heard next to your head. ‘Of course it’s Ethan.’ Your best friend from practically first grade, though neither really know when or how the friendship started.
“Agh- you could have chosen any other way to greet me.” Taking a hold of Ethan's hand so he wouldn't choke you completely, holding on to give yourself some air.
“What's the fun in that? Plus you looked completely out of it man, I doubt you would have noticed me had I been ‘normal’.” The response earned a sigh from you. Of course he'd try to be all over the top. It surprised you how he had the energy.
“It's 7 in the morning. Get your melatonin levels fixed.” Ethan finally let go of you and opted for standing next to you for the time being, looking around the place.
“So..no one’s here yet? He swayed on his feet and tried to keep his hands warm as he pushed them into his pockets. Obviously planning something in that unpredictable mind of his.
With a huff that was visible in the air, given the chilly temperature, you shook your head. “Nah, few of the girls are here. Just went in for a moment. Called it a ‘bathroom mission’ of sorts.” As soon as those words left your lips the group of girls walked back out. Then.. the teachers and rest of the classmates. Now all that was left to do was to wait for the bus that was supposed to take all of you to your destination. Some casual talk between Ethan, some of your other friends and occasionally the teacher seemed to make time go by faster. Lucky.
With the bus finally here, everyone would think the very back was the absolutely perfect spot to hang out. Maybe even cause some mischief by blasting music, playing games and such. That’s what you thought too, very much trying to save yourself a spot there, until Ethan practically dragged you elsewhere. Grabbing you by your upper arm as Ethan’s legs beelined elsewhere, away from the usual friend group. A spot in the middle, right before the middle door. Pushing you in the window seat before sitting down next to you.
With a confused look you questioned Ethan, you would have never thought the self proclaimed ‘party monster’ would claim a seat somewhere the action would likely not take place. “The rest of our friends are back there.” You nudged your head to the side to really ‘ask’ why you were sitting here.
“I know.” He seemed to be completely aware and content with that. ‘Okay that’s odd.’ You sighed out at the reply and then used a different approach.
“You ill or something?” Ethan chuckled and shook his head and instead of getting up as you would have expected he got more comfortable in his seat.
“Just wanted some quiet this time. Save the energy for when we’re there. You know?” Now that sounded a lot more like the Ethan you knew even if it was a bit questionable as it was Ethan you were talking about.. Letting it go this time with a sigh as you too got yourself comfy in your seat. It was a long bus ride after all. Better save the energy.
---
You had descended into your own world again, very comfy and with headphones on, just enjoying the moving scenery in the vast green fields. You all were going to the countryside camp. A nice breath of fresh air. Literally. The ride had been going on for about an hour give or take, most people had turned to sleep seeing as it was still rather early. Plus no one was that hyped right now, the fun would happen later in the cabins.
What seemed to pull you out of your thoughts was Ethan, unsurprisingly enough. The guy had decided to be close to you. Which in most cases was totally normal, had it been a lean against you not a grip on your knee. Ethan just happened to be a very touchy person, always hugging and keeping close to people. It’d be wrong to deny that your classmates had joked about you and Ethan being together. It was a tad annoying but at least that phase had long passed.
Moving your head to look at the suspect in question, pulling one headphone out of your ear to quietly ask: “Ethan?” To which he just innocently smiled at you.
“Hand.” A simple word or rather request on your part. He seemed to understand and move his hand away from your knee. Muttering a small ‘sorry bout that’ and things went back to normal...for 2 seconds that is. Ethan had only shifted in his seat and put his hand on your thigh this time.
Upon the glare he got from you Ethan simply pretended not to see it and ever so slowly moved it higher and higher. The touches are teasing and light, with a clear purpose underneath it all. Which you had caught onto immediately. Now properly removing your headphones, you let them hang over the collar of your sweater.
“Ethan. What the fuck are you doing?” His wrist gripped tightly in your hand, yet gently enough to not be painful.
“What? I’m just resting my hand.” Anyone could see through such a blatant lie and the deadpanned look you gave him confirmed he had to come clean. So, with a new motive he leaned closer to whisper into your ear.
“Consider it a gift. I thought it might be time for a little prize I wanted to give myself.” Yeah no you heard it correctly. ’A prize for himself???’ Ethan wasn’t making any sense so the confused look on your face made him smile more. His other hand moved over to lightly press on your abdomen.
“Something to make sure you won’t forget me after we both go our own way, yeah?” It would make sense in any other context but not now. You’ll be spending a long while with him. Even after finishing school, so what the hell was he on about??
“Ethan what the actual hell are you on about?” You leaned your head away from him to properly look at him and given his satisfied smile you connected the dots. This wasn’t Ethan saving his energy for later, it was a neatly constructed plan to ‘reward himself’. The more private part of the bus, pulling you away from friends, making sure people around you two were asleep. Yeah, this was no coincidence.
Your attempt to fire back was cut short by the hand now on your hardening bulge. Only a sharp breath entering your lips by the sudden action. “Let me do this, please? I want to make you feel good, been wishing for it..”
Ethan gave you the most pleading look ever, his small pout and puppy dog eyes really poking at your soft spot for him. This was Ethan you were talking about, the same guy who has been with you through thick and thin. Your Ethan. Who would be so cruel not to let him have his so-called ‘prize’? Definitely not you.
“Ugh..fine but if anyone sees this. I expect you to take full blame.” Ethan’s smile doubled and with a quick nod he made sure his body was positioned in a way no one could see. Not like anyone was awake right now anyways. You just had to keep quiet.
“Thank youu..” Ethan whispered and then pressed down on your erection, making sure to palm you through your pants. All with an abnormally pleased smile on his face. You probably haven’t seen him this happy with himself after the time he managed to convince his parents for a pet.
His hand seemed to know exactly when and where to use more force, putting pressure on your dick as he moved his hand along the fabric. All while you were focused on keeping your increasingly heavier breaths under control. Ethan looked so focused it was almost endearing how much he wanted to make you feel good. Makes you wonder what caused all this. Your breath hitched slightly when you heard the familiar sound of a zipper being opened. Your zipper to be exact. The sudden freeing feeling your dick got, earned a small relieved sigh on your part. Though as soon as the feeling came just as fast did the feeling of a warm hand around you make itself known.
Never in your wildest dreams did you think to see Ethan’s hand in your boxers, gripping your hard and needy dick so eagerly. Looking at you to see if he was doing a good job. The thoughts made you twitch in his hand. To which Ethan made sure to squeeze your dick before slowly moving his hand up and down your length. Glad to be the one pleasing you. A small shaky breath leaving your parted lips as you felt your head fall back against the seat.
“You seem to like this.” The words that came out of Ethan felt teasing and purposefully trying to rile you up even more. Though as soon as you wanted to speak back with something along the lines of "I'd like to see you try and keep your composure when getting a handjob.” the attempt was very quickly shut down by Ethan, given his hand neatly moved to your tip, sliding his thumb along the slit before cupping it into his palm. Seems he knows your snarky remarks pretty well and he knows how to shut you up even better.
“Shhit- careful.”
“I am, aren't I?” Oh that sly bastard, he knew exactly what he was doing. Moving his hand in such a precise and smug way. Pushing all the right buttons. You had to give it to the guy, he was good. Pumping his hand faster, his grasp a bit tighter the closer he got to the tip before moving over it again.
Your head was now properly leaned back, eyes shut as Ethan jacked you off. It was surprising how no one had woken up or taken notice of highly ‘interesting’ breaths coming from you. A miracle really.
Feeling that familiar knot forming in your abdomen, that sweet sweet warmth that made you involuntarily buck your hips into Ethan’s hand. Breathing through your teeth as you gave Ethan a look. Practically telling, begging him to speed his hand up, all with your eyes. And that he did. Perfectly squeezing your dick as he picked up the speed making sure to use his wrist, flicking it. All the way up over your tip and then back down, over and over to the point the pre coating his hand made sounds with each pump.
Ethan was smirking as he watched how your chest was beginning to heave, desperately looking for that good relief. Under his breath Ethan whispered ‘Come on…’ a few times as he got really rough with his hand.
“Ethan-fuckk…” You practically mewled out in a whisper as your hips bucked up and came right into Ethan’s hand. Eyes shut as you slowly came down from your high, most importantly making sure your breathing was back to normal, trying not to be suspicious. ‘Shit. This felt way too good..’
As soon as Ethan dug his hand out, you opened one of your eyes to lazily glance at him. You were met with one of the weirdest sights imaginable, not even sure whether to be turned on or grossed out. With direct eye contact Ethan licked up his hand with a smirk. Leaving his tongue out to show you how your cum covered his mouth, all before swallowing it. At least he was not wasting napkins, right?
“Dude??”
“My gift.” You just rolled your eyes at Ethan being Ethan and zipped up your pants. No one needed to see any more of this.
“You’re a fucking weirdo.” Ethan laughed and gave a shrug, clearly happy with himself and how things turned out.
At least the rest of the ride was going to be nice and relaxing. You both were extremely lucky no one seemed to catch on to this little exchange. Otherwise you’d be in big trouble. Seems Ethan’s wishes got granted this time…and to think you’d be spending a whole week with him in a cabin. What could go wrong?
#Stateac's works.#I am so normal about this trust#Who would say no to a freebie like that?#Totally not me..#Just bros being bros am I right?#male reader#masc reader#top male reader#dom male reader
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dress - VETTEL - part 3
pairings: sebastian vettel x famous!reader (fc: taylor swift)
summary: the fans think they have finally recovered from the bombshell yn and seb dropped a year ago, only for it all to break down when she goes on tour
authors note: ok lets talk quickly, this is set in the future because past me wasnt planning on making more parts so i said there would be no tour, turns out i want the tour so lets fast forward to like summer 2024. seb and yn have still been keeping a pretty private relationship, but shes turned up in the background of sebs insta lives and hes been in the background of stories etc. next, shes on tour!! only really just started in the fic, maybe at show 30-35 and kinda like the actual eras tour its taken a little bit for her to be comfortable and seb has been backstage/not seen (yes this is important)
authors note 2: i mentioned a little bit ago that i wanted to do the rep vault tracks but i dont know when that will happen so in the meantime you can have this and then ill do one more part when rep tv and then i’ll probably end this fic (maybe i think i’ll definitely miss them)
authors note 3: hi this is from future me who has already finished writing. i apologize for how all over the place this is but as i already said i will be doing another chapter for the rep vault tracks and i love writing for these two so i probably wont ever end this fic.. anyways hope you enjoy!! (also i was watching smallishbeans while writing this so sorry for any typos😭)
part 1 part 2 masterlist
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cardiff that was so much fun!!! loved every single second of it and thank you for coming out to see me! see you soon london🫶
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oh wow! london you have just blown me away, seeing not only you all inside the stadium but seeing videos of you all outside having the time of your lives makes my heart so warm!! i cant wait to play for you all again🐝
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landonorris and lilymhe added to their stories
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#f1 x reader#f1 instagram au#f1 smau#f1 social media au#social media au#formula 1 insta au#formula 1 social media au#sebastian vettel x reader#sebastian vettel fanfic#sebastian vettel#formula 1 x reader#formula one x reader#★ famous seb#f1 insta au
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What's happening for you in December 2024?
Randomly, doing a tarot reading. Probably should have done one before the election, huh? But actually, I went to Asia in October and that was after being extremely ill for like 2 and 1/2 weeks with an infection I'd never heard of.
Anyway, I wanted to do something fairly simple so this shouldn't necessarily be a collective reading [future me: JK I do have global predictions in here], but that tends to happen when I do these types of readings. Hopefully it will just apply to you individually and I will try to give as many specific examples of what to expect as I can.
Pick the pile or piles you feel most drawn to and scroll down. PS: apologies for typos as always. I voice to text and I'm too lazy to go back and edit.
Pile 1
Significant dates in December could be the 10th definitely, the 4th, or the 2nd. I think you can see what's happening based on the oracle cards... For December, it kind of reminds me of when you're using a navigation app and you suddenly find out that the way that it's taking you is a dead end and it has to reroute. Because I almost feel like that closed door is at the top of the escalator and then you reach the top and then you have to come right back down.
Or I also get the sense that maybe there was an opportunity or plans that end up getting canceled. It could be like a flight, it could be a party, it could be a job opportunity, it could be some type of obstacle that comes up in a relationship. I mean the literal way of looking at it if you want to go by the cards and what the circumstances could be. If you start with the ten of cups which is joyfulness and happiness or family and then it's followed by a ten of swords well it definitely feels like a period of happiness is probably coming to an end. I don't mean that in a like terrifying way. At least I don't think. I just feel like December for you if I'm honest and I want you to be prepared, you might have a lot of ups and downs. Clearly there are going to be some good times and then there are going to be some bad times and then there are going to be some more good times. And then you might be faced with a choice in which you have to figure out a different way of going about something.
Basically what I want to tell you is that for those of you who picked this pile, you might want to have a plan b for anything that you have coming up. It might even seem like everything is going to work out fine but then you get to the airport and at the last minute your flight is canceled. And it's like okay well what are you going to do now because you were trying to get home for the holidays. So are you going to get into your car and drive? Are you going to try to find another flight?
I mean if you are American, there's a good chance that you might feel a little depressed going into the next year. If you are American and not depressed knowing what I'm talking about, please unfollow.
But even after the ten of swords, we have the four of wands. So maybe it is a little bit of a tower moment that happens for you in that something that was working before is possibly coming to an end but with the four of wands, it might be that something else will come in that provides a stronger foundation. And I see you in the 2 of wands looking for that. An example would be let's say you want to quit a job. It was good for a while but it's sort of coming to an end where maybe you aren't learning anything anymore or it's getting tedious or something else is going on. And you start to think okay maybe I want to work abroad or maybe I want to do something completely different so you have this choice to make.
You might be looking for a different kind of happiness or you might even need to go on a vacation to think about things. Some of you might have had a relatively rough last few months of the year and so you need to do something fun? I sort of wonder if the four of wands represents New Year's. Not that it really matters. Plus people's New years are different
Other specifics or collective kind of readings. Again in terms of the collective, there could be some up and downs in terms of good news that happened throughout December. I do see people needing to go around to get the information that they want or to get where they need to go. It's almost like if anybody is trying to advance like in an upward trajectory whether it's career or seeking something, it looks like there will be blocked doors.
I have two cards that for me indicate family or the home. So some of you could be relocating or moving house. Some of you may be breaking up. Some of you may get not great news about a family member. But more than anything I just see annoyance at like a plan or event having to be canceled or rerouted. Like you were really excited to attend a concert or a party and at the last minute it gets canceled.
On a worldly level if we take it just a little bit dark, and you look at the word defenses and you look at this ten of swords and you have a castle and you have somebody who kind of almost looks like a general looking out at a globe, we might see some more conflict in terms of wars or discord among countries. I know that might seem obvious because it's always ongoing. Maybe serious enough to where there's some type of lockdown. Sometimes when I look at the escalator I get a bit of an ominous feeling. Like you go up the escalator but you don't really know where it's taking you. And then even when you get up there the door seems to be locked or guarded or blocked.
On a lighter note it could be about being blocked from your creativity or some type of blockage in the way of feeling happy or being happy or finding happiness. Some of you might be feeling a little depressed and you're looking for answers about how to be happy or what makes you happy or things you could do to be happy. Some of this might especially have to do with relationships or family. Because it's almost like if I was the ten of swords person and on either side of me I'm thinking and daydreaming about a fantasy life where I'm happy but in the meantime I'm pinned to the ground with like 10 swords and I just see darkness above me. And two of wands guy is also searching.
But what can I say other than December is just going to be up and down for you. You might feel guarded or you might be dealing with other people who are a bit tense and also guarded, especially if you are going home for the holidays and maybe you have negative interactions with family. But also you might have a little bit of fun with family.
We can talk about how you have two tens and 10 is the number of completion. But that just makes me think well the year is coming to an end. I do still think that an era of happiness is sort of like maybe coming to an end in some way whether it's like friendship or you're an American and you feel like dark days are coming again.
For those of you that do have to make an important decision by the end of the year, I do see you finding your answers that you need. Or being able to come to a decision.
Random but back to being collective, I do wonder if there are going to be some negative things happening toward the gay community or gay rights. That should be obvious but when you look at the little rainbow colors and the ten of cups and then you put it next to the ten of swords and then you have a card next to that that's usually indicative of marriage. You might see more states in the US voting on gay rights and gay marriage. And it could even be that the world will be watching these events as well maybe the US sort of falls apart in terms of its social and legal freedoms.
It's interesting Dad the mountains and the ten of swords are far away and then in the two of swords sorry two of wands, it's like you've moved past that moment and are now on the shore that you are longing for. So again since I misspoke, I think there's a decision to be made on maybe your perspective or attitude about how you are looking at something and then finding ways to change that perspective or to find different solutions. Just like how I was saying that you would have to reroute it might be that mentally or intellectually you have to change your perspective or else you're going to be stuck.
It definitely seems to be putting emphasis on finding what brings you Joy and not just yourself but maybe people around you or making sure that you surround yourself with people that make you feel good and happy. And if you don't have people like that then maybe the alternative is to just be by yourself if that's better.
And I do at least see a few people who are looking for love or wanting a family or wanting to start a relationship or to settle down in something like that that feels domestic and stable. But maybe it seems like it won't happen or it's far off. But again I think it comes back to perspective and okay well let's say you're only trying to find people through dating apps and that's not working well sounds like you might have to try a different way of finding people.
And the last thing I will say is that the escalator looks to me like it has stopped and the defenses card obviously also is about being stopped and the ten of swords is the most negative card here and that person is stuck. So I think if you are feeling stuck even though this is obvious advice, you're going to have to think about another way of doing something. If it's not working. Or if you aren't making any progress. And this doesn't indicate any particular choice one way or the other since it's the two of wands. That's just the part of the path where you are making a decision. So the answer right now is to find the path. And it's whatever path leads to you being unstuck.
But also in general also see some division around the world. I mean that's to be expected. Like factions being split in 2. More situations in which people are split into groups and separated and like pitted against each other or being on opposite sides of some issue. In conclusion basically I think we'll see an arise of global conflict as we enter the new year. More things on the news.
It could even be that people are forced to start paying attention more to what's happening on a global scale, watching more news, needing to be more educated about the things that are happening. Not just the US obviously but Africa, Middle East, Europe and the western part of Asia. All the bits you can see in the globe there.
There's an emphasis on water to me. This could be we might have more issues with contamination in the oceans, hurricanes, tsunamis, some issues being weird with the water or a focus on water.
The last thing I'll say is that I see an emphasis on blue and yellow in particular so maybe the confidence to speak out or say what you think or to speak as in to make decisions. Or have confidence in the way you're thinking. Confidence in the decisions that you're going to make.
There's definitely a sense of being planted firmly. So I think again maybe people having to choose sides and being firm in that.
Yeah I wonder if there's going to be some type of outbreak that happens through water. Like contaminated water or water shortages.
Or if not that then a particular country that is surrounded by water might be in the news in December. I'm feeling more like it's Europe though. Or like the Mediterranean. Like Greece or I don't know. But something curious that has to do with water around countries like that or even Spain or Portugal. I can't tell if it's good or bad I just feel very fixated on the idea of water. It doesn't feel like it has to do with weather though. But it feels weird. Like something incredible happening? In my mind I'm seeing like submarines emerging from water or maybe it's because I watched too much of this alien show and it kept talking about UFOs emerging from the water. But it's almost like this feeling of people being fascinated by this thing that's happening and then it turns out to be kind of like not good. But I don't know why I feel that way
Or maybe it's like a Titanic situation and people go on a cruise and some type of cruise ship accident happens and it's around Europe. Or like not the Olympics but like some major international event that's happening in Europe by water and something surprisingly catastrophic happens? I don't know why I feel that way. I hope that doesn't happen though. I don't think it's a why. A volcano?
An oil spill? Yeah I'm leaning more toward a situation like one of those and it maybe pollutes the air or the water. Like turns it black. And maybe it f**** up the water. An earthquake? Maybe it's like something like that happens and then for some reason you can't get resources to those people. Because like you can't fly through the air or you can't get through the water. I don't know if it's a military thing. I'm still just getting something more to do with the water but I guess even militaries could potentially like poise in the water or drop weapons and then that destroys the water or land or sky
Well that got pretty dark. But I feel so strongly that it has something to do with water or the sky and turning black and people potentially dying because of contamination or poison or toxins... sorry just keep in mind that's the collective part.
I probably should just do a separate reading on world predictions....
Pile 2
I wouldn't be surprised if some of you are drawn to both piles one and two. I kind of feel like they overlap a little bit. Hopefully I remember that there was a point when I was laying at the cards and I kept not being able to figure out which way the hanged man went.
My first impression was to say as advice for December to not consider shortcuts or cheating. Or be wary of people who are going to try to cheat you to get what they want. I almost feel like you will be at a point where you have to make a decision whether you want to do it the right way or you want to accomplish it through kind of nefarious methods. Granted that could be somebody else to be wary of. In particular they could be a Pisces or you could be a Pisces. Or maybe there is a particular planet in Pisces this December. The last pile I talked a lot about water in terms of a collective event but again I'm drawn to blues and water for this pile as well but I'm finding this more to be a theme related to emotions or even blocked creativity
I also feel like there's advice to block out people who are like that who are looking to start a fight with you. I see the two of swords as someone protecting themselves from the negative energy that's happening and the five of swords. And even with the hanged man I see like a sense of protecting your mind and your space. So I don't usually say things like this but I wonder if you should request protection from your guides or whomever or if you will be especially under protection this month. I also feel like you have a lot on your mind in terms of philosophically or creatively. But you have a lot of thoughts going on in December. It almost feels like a lot of contemplation in terms of trying to find peace? Like if your job is particularly stressful, consciously making effort to find ways to avoid that type of conflict. Like whether it's literally doing yoga or reading more or exercising
I should also say the dates of the 2nd, 5th, and 12th or 3rd could be significant.
It might be that you have a decision to make early on in the month and then there might be a little bit of conflict but by the mid part of the month I think it should be worked out relatively somewhat
I think you might be standing your ground more and having to introduce firm boundaries with people. Again I'm thinking about the defense card from pile one. You may find yourself getting into Petty arguments with people so you might need to find ways to avoid that or remove those people from your life.
To look at it less negatively per se, you might actually win out on some type of competition or project? That's not really what I'm seeing it as about but the five of swords doesn't always have to be the worst card, I mean it could be that there's a competition and you end up being the winner and you collect your reward.
But I don't really see that. I see the message as being to protect yourself from that type of energy whether it's you starting to feel angry or like you want to pick a fight or it's other people picking a fight, I'm seeing the hanged man and the two of swords are saying to relax and go with the flow and be more mindful.
It could be that some type of wisdom or information that you come across allows you to win over a certain circumstances or I guess I just feel like it's more use your best judgment or wisdom in a situation when you come across conflict. Like don't be rash to react, I'm getting you should think things through and don't rush it and really use your head the right way before you make any kinds of decisions. Especially ones that could hurt other people. But if you think it is the right decision, you should probably follow your gut
I wonder if you might have some restless dreams this month. Not nightmares exactly but fitful sleeping or when you dream come with the dreams are of like fighting with people or yeah maybe some bad dreams. Like with pile one though, there just seems to be a blockage...
And with that pile the advice was also to consider your perspective and changing it when you want to find the most amicable solution... The hanged man is about saying things from a different point of view. So I think there will be a lot of reflection on some type of conflict with friends or at a job or people in general.
It's interesting in two cards the figures are holding swords.
I suppose I should bring in the oracles. But integrity and play time was what made me think even when playing a game not cheating or not taking shortcuts. Or when engaged in a battle, not using cheap tactics to win.
This could also be an overall message of when you want to deliver a message. Like if you want to get your opinion across you can't do it by forcing it on anybody or making it seem like you are absolutely right and now I'm going to push this on you. It's almost like delivering a message in a kind and respectful way. That's not really something I can do well. Because often we have emotional reactions to situations and we go well you were wrong and I'm right. When sometimes it's about perspective. And if you really want to convince someone, that wouldn't really be the way to go about it
So I guess to be specific you might have an argument with somebody in December. And before the argument happens, I can put it in your head that before you take on that mentality that I'm right and you're wrong, to consider the other person's point of view even if they are like completely wrong by normal standards, if you really want to reach them, you're going to have to put a little bit more thought into how to communicate that. Like even if you are in a relationship now, and you have a fight with your so, and you start to think well I just want to be right I don't care, thinking about okay like how does your tone or how harsh you need to say that affect your partner
In that instance, there are ways of getting your point across that you don't have to be cruel and you don't have to make it into a competition if you really care about the person.
The hanged man makes me want to say maybe be a little bit more benevolent than you normally would. Even if the person is despicable. I think also maybe whatever is happening in Pisces in December will be affecting you creatively and in terms of your sleep again. Because with the two of swords and the hanged man I feel really drawn to that aspect of Pisces that has to do with like the sort of nether world. I don't mean like Scorpio, I mean that like 12 house stuff. So in conclusion you might be experiencing some spiritual conflict or philosophical conflicts in December related to conflicts with other people and their beliefs and you not having the same beliefs. I feel like you will have choices whether to stoop to their level or not and you should take the high road
But there are indications of somebody in the situation being Petty and cruel
I also see opportunities for creativity. This could be anything from going out with friends to try to make a candle or feeling like you want to write or paint
But mostly my advice is to for this month in particular for December is to act with a little bit more decorum and maturity than you normally would. If you're always like that then don't worry but I just feel like you get special bonus points if you act a little bit more mature than normal. Like if you go home and you fight with the siblings, you decide to be the mature one if a fight breaks out. Like leading by example is what I'm getting
You might do something at night time that is particularly fun. Like stargazing or a concert or doing something fun but it's night time. I also feel like in terms of when you will feel the most creative will be more at night time as well
Silly little things to say would be being around water will feel inspiring, listening to music, doing yoga and meditation will help a lot this month. I also feel called to tell you to consider taking vitamin c. Make sure you're getting enough sleep and as my friend would tell me drinking water. It just feels like a good time for you to detox. Emotionally and spiritually and even physically
For me in terms of colors there's an emphasis on blue and red with a little bit of green. So finding ways to feel stable, stabilizing the way that you think, which makes me think of meditation and you know maybe writing and journaling to organize your thoughts, this is what came to me just now is listening to the kind of music that stabilizes and connects your mind with your heart? Like whether you're working or exercising or doing something creative but listening to music, listen to music that fits your mood or what you're trying to accomplish. Or maybe I just need to say that music will be a great mood stabilizer for you this month
And again besides you being a Pisces, you might meet somebody this month that is a pisces or a Pisces will have a lot of influence on you this month
More than likely I see conflict with that person but still. But if you are feeling like you are spiraling in some way or stressed out, definitely turn to spiritual and creative practices as a way to stabilize and calm yourself or distract yourself. Because I do think that you might be attracting people who want to annoy you or pick little fights with you or they might be little tests to see if you'll react emotionally when everything in the cards is saying that this is a time to work on that and remain calm in those types of situations... and again really listening to your gut this month. Listen to your instincts when it comes to people or situations.
And also if there's high amounts of allergens or environmental irritants or pollution, wear a mask or don't go out. I don't know why for the first two piles I keep seeing like pollution as being a big deal whether it's the sky or water or something
There's lots of gray in the cards too which I'm not really sure what that means because none of the chakras are gray. But that color is coming in pretty strongly like a gray and silver. I don't know if that's supposed to represent smoke. Nothing really comes to mind for me when I think of gray or silver so I'm not sure how to read that....
It could also be that something significant is going to happen for you during Pisces season. I just get the distinct impression that there might be somebody who wants to or tries to take advantage of you and maybe they are a Pisces or this happens in the Pisces season so be especially vigilant and discerning between now and like March. And then to be even more specific, if you're traveling be mindful of pickpockets or making sure to lock your cars or your apartment when you leave and keeping a close watch on your valuables
I don't know, maybe watch out for people wearing yellow boots or shoes. And red tides...
Also I know you always hear this on YouTube but genuinely as I'm trying to think about why this creepy five of swords guy is looking at two of swords lady like this, you might have somebody who's kind of creepy and watching your social media. If it's an x or a weird jealous acquaintance or friend or frenemy. You might consider blocking them or turning your social media private. Because I do get the sense that for some of you, you're being watched and I feel like you need to be protected or you need to protect yourself a little bit, especially because they could be energy vampires or trying to send you negativity. So that's why I feel like you need to be especially spiritually and even physically vigilant this month. It's not like I'm saying I see impending doom
It's more I feel obligated to give out a warning to be especially vigilant toward people who would want to do you harm or cheap or like be a bully. But it reminds me of sword art online when you can put a tracer on people and keep track of what they're doing and where they are. There's just this feeling of something following you.
But on the other side of it it could also be something as simple as you being stuck on some type of fight that you had with somebody. Whether it's road rage or something somebody you know said that was kind of hurtful. But I talked a lot about negative stuff but keep in mind your Oracle cards indicate fun times and keeping your integrity and being a bit more creative this month and wanting to feel more in touch with your spiritual and creative side and finding outlets for that this month. That way you can tell the negative people to f*** off in a more spiritually progressive kind of way
Pile 3
This is the first pile to feel like it's really about the people in your life. But there are a few ways to read it. For example since we have perseverance here, it could be the expectation of receiving something from somebody. Page of pentacles indicates it's more likely to be physical or the physical manifestation of something. As in there's something that you have been wanting to give someone or I've been wanting to receive from someone for a long time and then receiving it. Of course it could also be about a communication or message regarding this as well. Something that you've been wanting to hear for a long time from somebody. The people involved could be somebody like the Queen of wands and somebody like the king of cups
So yes it could be a romantic message especially with a red rose involved. Obvious examples could be receiving an engagement ring or some type of token of affection from somebody. If the Queen of wands is giving it, it could even be something that she creates to give to the king of cups.
But I think also if the cards just represent aspects of your personality, it could be something that you yourself are creating or even saving for since we're likely talking about money or finances or again something physical. We have two of the more creative and sensitive Court cards, so it could be writing a book or making an album or whatever creating something physical that takes a bit of a creative and sensitive process. It would also be you taking the lead on it.
It also feels like there takes some time to create this and maybe even some difficulty or obstacles along the way in order to create it or establish this relationship. It could even be a romantic situation in which you have been waiting for a soulmate and you might hear from them this December or the chain of events leading to this meeting could start in December. If you already have an established relationship, something significant could happen in December or just something romantic.
Flowers in particular seem to be something happening here because I'm drawn to the sunflower on the queen and we have the rose. So it could be just somebody giving you flowers or something related to growing something. Or just something easy and romantic. It's just that this could stand in for so many things since it can be a physical object or sometimes when I read pentacles, it can be something that's been thought about for so long or talked about for so long that it becomes a physical element or a part of you. So for example like a commitment could be seen as a pentacle. So two people are talking about a relationship and taking it to the first level or the next level. So that pentacle can represent an offer of commitment.
Let's break it down to be a little bit more specific though. If we look at the order that the cards are in, it seems like the queen is offering something to the king but the king isn't looking. This could be that it's the queen that is the one who takes action first, it could be a sign that you are the Queen of wands, and if you have been waiting for a soulmate or something that the king facing away from the queen means that you haven't met this person yet. And sure you could meet them in December.
That could make sense as the queen here is known to be more bold. So I would guess that she's going to be the one that makes the first move. And just because I say she it doesn't really matter. This could be either person in this situation but they would represent those type of qualities of being more bold and outgoing. So it's almost like she is either making the first move by saying hey do you want to talk or hey I like you or she's bold in the way that she sends him a gift or some type of offering. This could be an example of how you even meet. Like let's say you go to a bar and you buy somebody a drink. In this scenario, you probably wouldn't know the king but you would be the one making the first move. There would be a conversation because pages have to do with communication.
If you aren't looking for something romantic, of course you could read this as platonic or even work related. Granted the rose in perseverance kind of throws that off but that could just be speaking about you...
At the most simple way of reading this, it could be words or some type of communication that's being exchanged by these two people. It could be a person who is quite bold and creative and confident and they decide to have a communication with somebody who is emotionally mature and a good listener. And maybe the conversation is somewhat serious and about some type of problem that you're having that requires strength or perseverance. Basically just saying maybe in December expect to have a somewhat deep and serious conversation with someone.
But what are my first impressions when I just look at the cards? Do I see it as kind of romantic? Yeah if not romantic then some type of long-standing affection or feelings. To me it feels like both an established relationship or something that will be coming. Because when I look at the perseverance I see this as either two people who have gone through a lot together and sharing some type of commitment and communication being a big factor of their relationship. And on the other hand I see the perseverance as someone who might be have been somebody who has waited a long time to have this conversation with this person or to find this person at all. Like it feels like celebrating an anniversary and exchanging gifts for that. Or talking about the relationship.
Again I see one person as being a bit more bold and extroverted and outgoing and the other person might be more calm and not necessarily quiet but probably the queen does most of the talking. Hence why it seems like she's the one approaching the king or talking to the king or giving something to the king. And maybe sometimes it seems like he's not listening but he definitely is.
Other things could just be some type of contract happening between two people. I mean this could be so many things like somebody taking out a loan, signing a lease, purchasing a house. What seems to be Central would be it's something that is investing a lot of time or has taken a fair amount of time. But whatever it is is a serious commitment. It may also involve something physical and financial. So that's why some of those things may come up as well.
Other simple things are just receiving a text, email, phone call from someone that you've known for a long time. It could be unexpected. It could be that you haven't heard from them for a while. But you do seem to have some type of communication or exchange of communication about something. Almost like getting together with an old friend and you start talking about old times. So that could be a situation you'd go home for the holidays or go on a trip or whatever and you run into somebody that you've known for a long time and you talk about the old times. But to me there's more an aspect here of two people talking or exchanging something that has taken time to cultivate or grow and having been through different challenges and struggles together maybe or the two people talking about similar challenges that they have faced. I mean this could literally just be somebody's therapy session as well. But I feel more like it's a struggle that both people have been through and have shared and them talking about it or discussing something related to it or are embarking on a situation in which commitment and finances are likely involved and also talking about those matters.
It could even be if you haven't met this person and you meet this person part of how you become closer or the things you talk about initially in the relationship or friendship have to do with challenges or struggles that you both have experienced in life and having one of those long deep conversations about it kind of like lost in translation. The movie. And again it doesn't have to be romantic if you don't want it to be, this could definitely be a good friend or somebody who becomes a good friend or a relative or even like a stranger you sit next to on the plane or train or bus and you end up having a long conversation throughout your flight or journey. But it's a nice shared moment with somebody. It feels a little bit vague so I probably should have pulled more cards to figure out who the people are but I don't think it really matters.
It can also be just somebody giving a gift to a friend who's having a hard time or for any other purpose possible. But it feels like it's the Queen of wands giving something to the king of cups, that has meaning and purpose and will be helpful toward him or acknowledges him or represents some type of affection so like giving a gift to a friend, giving a gift to a partner or a lover or someone you care about and thought goes into it and care goes into it and it seems to be a token of affection. Kind of unusual for the third pile as usually it's the second pile that has a bit of relationship vibes but this pretty clearly has to do with probably two people and any of the above types of interactions. It's not like a passionate love or romance that I'm feeling it's feeling more long-term or mature in affection. It's not a hookup.
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YO WHAT HAPPENS NEXT WITH THE BOYS IN THE MANHUA AU????
Bsjsjsjsjsj THIS GONNA BE SO LONG AGAIN BECAUSE THE SET UP GUYS!!!!
Ok starting out, the trio of Malleus, Azul, and Jamil HATE Yuu. They think she's the most annoying thing their parents/guardians ever put in their line of view and hate they keep putting her there.
Malleus’s father was Crowley's adopted brother (which is how he gained the status to marry Meleanor and how Crowley gained his arch duke status). Crowley's catch is that he wanted a deal that his family and royal family were to always be close. A promise that Lilia keeps after his friends die by making Yuu Malleus’s playmate.
And Malleus is...a fucking brat, raised being told he was going to be the strongest in the land and how he could have anything he wanted. It kinda inflated his little ego though Lilia tried to keep it at a decent size. But then to be presented a magicless human girl and told she was his EQUAL he kinda pitched a bitch fit and has been until Yuu just...stops talking to him.
Yuu is invited to Malleus's birthday ball every year, so Lilia is freaked out when a maid tells him that Yuu rejected the invite and didn't even plan on sending a gift in her place. Crewel tries to save face by claiming Yuu is sick. Malleus is happy because he thinks the party would be much better with no Yuu. Instead, he stands alone for basically the whole night because he never realized that Yuu was the only one who would happily come up to him, not an ounce of fear in her. He misses it...He hopes Yuu will feel better soon...
Azul comes from a marquess family that Crewel was very close to before his marriage to Crowley. So that's another playmate for Yuu! Azul completely thinks Yuu is bullying him and mocking him when she remarks how cute his chubby cheeks are. The other kids at banquets don't come near them but Azul can see out of the corner of his eye that they laugh at them. So when Yuu refuses to come with Crewel to this fancy dinner party, Azul thinks this is his chance to FINALLY establish himself with the other noble children.
Instead, Azul finds out that Yuu was the only reason the other children weren't bullying him, they liked her better than him and the fact she isn't there is basically saying she finally dropped the 'dead weight'. Azul spends the whole party actually being mocked and not teasingly cooed over, he hides behind his mom while she pleads for Crewel to bring Yuu to the next party, wondering if Yuu really was keeping him safe from the other kids.
Jamil hated Yuu purely because he kept getting in trouble. Kalim is the child of a duke family and he adored Yuu as his playmate. Because she liked Jamil! He had started to realize that Jamil was pulling away from him, coming to understand the true meaning of his role in Kalim's life. So Kalim thinks it's great that Yuu spends their playdates mostly trying to get Jamil to play with them, he misses playing with Jamil!
Jamil is PISSED, because after every play date he gets scolded for taking too much of Yuu's attention and told to act accordingly next playdate. He's openly cold to Yuu even though she's much higher in social status than him, he just wants her to leave him ALONE. But then, Kalim is nervous before a playdate. He's been hearing rumors about how Yuu is ill and doesn't want to leave her family's home more and more these days. But maybe a day with him and Jamil will be enough to brighten her spirits!
Yuu spends the entire playdate not even looking at Jamil let alone talking to him, he might as well be a smear on the wall. She's even withdrawn from Kalim, very quiet and not up for playing any of their normal games. When Yuu has gone home, Jamil goes to his room and just CRIES. He never realized just how much Yuu SEEING meant to him. He found her clinginess to be annoying, she talked too much, she couldn't just focus on Kalim like every other rich kid whose family tried to cozy up to the Asims. But now...going an entire day with her not even looking at him...it hurts...
So yeah! When Yuu comes back to life she's basically heartbroken that her crushes and the men who she considered to be her best friends didn't even try to help her while she died. If they hate her so much, then fine, she gives up she won't talk to them anymore...But now she's sad and alone, she had three 'friends' and now she has no friends. so She just stays alone in the family home while her dads worry and try their best to brighten her days and keep her socialized.
#twisted wonderland#twst#disney twst#twst wonderland#yuu oc#azul ashengrotto#jamil viper#malleus draconia#manhwa au
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Wow, I loved chapter 11! Would be funny if batfam discovered a cure for cancer trying to figure out how to deal with the mold, was just a thought that stuck in my head when I read the description 'benign tumor'. Would also be a good way for batfam to start dealing with the PR nightmare this is turning into. Has Bruce been trying to fuck over Lex? Also was wondering if maybe Gould made any bonds in the four years back home? Is there any jealousy rising in batfam from a brotherly or fatherly bond they discover, or has he mostly been keeping to himself? Either way, I'm excited to see what's coming up with this next confrontation, hope the inspiration narwhal visits you!
Yeah, I can see them using their discoveries to change public opinion about them.
Now, they know the Megamycete is similar to a benign cancer that eradicates native cells and replaces them with unstable mold versions, but since they only have the one sample of your blood (and it’s kinda lost all viability due to the batter of tests its been subjected to), they’re still far from discovering any usable weapon to attack the Megamycete at the cellular level.
While their tests have yielded nothing to combat the mold, their failures have led to the discovery of a treatment that’s highly effective against actual cancers, tumors, and viral infections. Bruce had the data forwarded to Wayne Pharmaceuticals to begin development of new medicines based off their work, leading to several new drugs being developed that promise to either treat several incurable diseases and illnesses or eliminate them altogether.
It definitely makes people see Bruce Wayne more favorable, but not enough to reverse all the bad publicity done to his company. He’s also made several attempts to get back at Lex for his actions at the gala, both as CEO of Wayne Enterprises by showing him up in business and as Batman by exposing his less-than-legal activities.
He’s actually very grateful to you (despite the fact you’re infected by some sentient mushroom) since it’s helped complete many projects the pharmaceutical division has been working on for years, which will help countless people in the long run.
But make no mistake, he fully intends to find a way to purge the Megamycete from your body. He says it’s because it’s dangerous and that it’s making you act out, but it’s because it gives you the power to oppose him and fight back when he tries to bring you back to Gotham. Let’s be honest, Bruce Wayne is a massive control freak and is used to being the one in total control of every situation and the smartest person in the room and he can’t stand it when he doesn’t have something under control.
Thanks to the Megamycete, you’re not only stronger than him, but smarter, too.
This is a huge no-no and he’ll stop at nothing to correct the situation, under the guise of “helping” you and “bring you back home.”
As for the second part of your ask, I’ve had several people ask about the reader dating/marrying people and making friends; I’ve even made a post about Eveline from Resident Evil 7 being your adoptive daughter, but I don’t have any plans on making a canon family and friends for the reader in the series.
Believe me, you want a family and friends. You’d love to find a man who will give you the love you were denied for so long and maybe even adopt a child (although several people asking about kids has made me think you’d be capable of carrying biological children since you can alter your body due to the Megamycete), but after all that you endured at Wayne Manor, you think you have too much emotional baggage to properly care for a family (not to mention the whole Megamycete situation) and you’re just subject your potential family and friends to the same treatment you were given for most of your life.
Right now, you’re working on yourself. You moved back to Goodsprings immediately after graduating and turned your childhood home into a home you’re really proud of and now with the ulcers of Salvage Rights, you’re seeing a small fortune building before your eyes (of course, you still have most of the money you got from Lex for seeking WE secrets).
Of course, Bruce and his children had to show up out of nowhere and reset all the progress you made in the last four years and making people stare at you every time you walk into a room and whisper about you when they think you can’t hear them.
So, any plans you had on making a family and finding friends are on hold for right now. You just have to take care for your little bat problem.
But, let’s say you did have a family and friends. That not long after you moved to Goodsprings, you made a few friends either in town or in the surrounding area, which eventually lead to you finding a boyfriend and after two years of dating, you got married (Alfred attended, he wouldn’t miss it for the world).
Now, he didn’t tell them about the wedding at the time, but after the four year mark of you leaving Gotham, he reminded them that you exist and dropped the bombshell that you’re married.
This leads to every one of them going berserk.
You’re married?! And they weren’t invited to the wedding?!
They immediately dislike your husband, Bruce especially since he has the insane belief that as your father, any man should ask for his blessing to date/marry you (of course he’d turn down any request before it even leaves the man’s mouth).
“There’s no man in this world that’s good enough for you, Y/N. Besides, you only need me and your brothers.”
Damian is in the same boat as he believes very few are worthy enough of joining the Wayne legacy.
“Our bloodline is a sacred one, brother, and we must be selective of who is a part of it. If you insist on finding a mate, I’m sure Father would be capable of finding one for you. But you needn’t worry over that, I’m more than capable of continuing the family in his stead.”
Dick would lose his shit if he hears that you have a husband.
“He just proposes to you? Without asking to meet your family? That’s very suspicious, baby bird! He clearly wants to take you away from us!”
Jason would be silent during the entire ordeal, but he’d stand there, glaring at you poor husband and showing off the gun he has on his hip, filled with real bullets.
Tim’s immediately researching the shit out of this guy, going back to his birth and will use anything and everything he finds to convince you that he’s unfit for you and you should divorce him.
“He got a speeding ticket when he was 16, Y/N! He clearly lives on the edge and doesn’t care about respecting the law! …Why are you staring at me like that for?”
Steph is actually kinda proud of you for causing this kind of chaos in the family. She’s always pulling stunts that cause Bruce’s hair to turn grey and loves messing with everyone, but what you’ve done is nothing short of astounding in her eyes. Of course, she’s just as opposed to the marriage as the others and wants you to divorce your husband and move back home at once.
“Y/N, if you wanted to drive Bruce into an early grave, you could’ve just done what I did and wreck the Batmobile. Hey, we can do that when we get back home!”
Cass actually understands the desire to find love and create a family; thanks to Bruce, she knows what a family is (a lesson you were never taught) and wishes she could find someone to spend her life with. But thanks to her upbringing and her vigilante lifestyle, she knows that’s a pipe dream. Besides, Bruce and her siblings are more than enough.
However, that doesn’t mean she supports the marriage; in fact, she opposes it and believes you must divorce your husband and come home right away. People can’t be trusted and the world is too dangerous. You need to come home where they can protect you.
And god help you if you say your new friends are more like your siblings than them.
As expected, Damian doesn’t take the news well and accuses them of trying to take his place as your true brother (this delusional bastard really believes that after everything, the two of you can really be brothers).
But I think Dick would take the news worse than him; he takes his role as the elder brother of the Wayne children seriously and he doesn’t like the thought of you seeing someone other than him as your big brother. He’d probably cry and beg you to take it back, say you were just lying to hurt him, anything! Just say you don’t see anyone as a big brother!
Lastly, if you have any children, be it through adoption or biological, they immediately stake a claim on them and try to bring them into the family.
That just leaves you, fighting these delusional freaks tooth and nail to keep your friends and family safe. If your husband is a meta, he’ll try to join in, but you insist on dealing with them yourself. You know they’ll use any dirty trick they can find against your husband and you’d rather not put him in any more danger than you have already.
Plus, if anyone has the right to kill them, it’s you. After all they put you through, you’re determined to be the one that finally puts an end to the Bats.
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Hi I was wondering if you could do a amajiki x reader where reader is on her period and has really bad cramps and mood swings and amajiki has to ask mirio and nejire for advice
SUMMARY: Very apologetically Tamaki has no idea how to handle your shark week, so Mirio and Nejire are here to help him out! A/N: Very apologetically I too am not sure if things were accurate I'M SORRY I DON'T EXPERIENCE THIS so I'm literally trying to remember what my ex gf was like FORGIVE ME ALSO FOR BEING SO LATE I HAD TO STOP HALFWAY BECAUSE OF EXAMS WARNINGS: Fem!Reader, period, maybe inaccuracies (refer to above)
🌸Let’s set the scene.
🌸Please pity him. It was in the middle of a cafe date that suddenly you stopped slurping your drink, freezing with a funny expression and your waffle piece halfway to your mouth. Obviously Tamaki’s voice peters out and away as he sinks into his jacket….oh crap, did he say something wrong? Maybe his breath smells bad?
🌸Then you ask to borrow his jacket. He gives it over, relieved, thinking you must’ve just been cold or something - wait, why are you tying it around your waist and heading to the toilet?
🌸When you finally come back out you awkwardly ask to cut the date short with much apologies, but you really wanted to head back and change….why? Oh right, your period kind of….leaked.
🌸”….”
🌸”Sure, sure! All’s to worry, not to fine!” Tamaki’s just happy it isn’t because of him - it’s your third date after a year of hopelessly pining and finally using up all the courage he had in this lifetime to confess and ask you out.
🌸Then it actually hits him.
🌸Silly boy’s even more panicked than you are, and YOU’RE The one on your period. It’s mostly because he wants to help you cover up and not have the date ruined but he has no idea how, not having much experience in this - come to think of it, Nejire never brought up her period with him and Mirio, so honestly he had no idea what he was doing.
🌸Hell, he’s suddenly forgotten how the menstruation cycle works - where did all those science lessons go??? Help???
🌸You have to assure him it’s not a big deal, his jacket is enough, could he help get a doggy bag for the waffles and get the drinks though?
🌸After he drops you off by your dorm Tamaki is immediately whipping out his phone and googling about periods, but it’s only explaining to him why and how it happens…wait, you’ll get mood swings, headaches, loss of appetite, lethargy and cramps? And girls go through this every month?
🌸That sounds worse than a villain attack; Tamaki’s respect for you probably broke the meter.
🌸He’s gonna be the supportive boyfriend! This is his chance to show you you didn’t make any mistake in choosing the quiet weirdo to be your partner! Tamaki nods, trying to hype himself up.
🌸Problem is…what is he supposed to do…
🌸Nejire and Mirio are more than happy to play wingmen once more, of course!
🌸All his plans collapse when you didn’t show up in class the next day however. Not only that, you’re pretty dry when he texts you and you’re - you’re ending the conversation first?!
🌸*>>sry im not feeling my best rn and dont wanna take it out on you*
🌸*>>ill talk to you ltr?*
🌸Tamaki ends up overthinking as usual, picking away at his lunch so obviously, leading to Mirio and Nejire’s interrogation and him spilling his guts. He wants to go check on you to see if you’re fine, but do YOU want him to go check on you?
🌸Nejire scoffs and tells him of course you’d want him to check on you! Girls could get clingy on their periods, of course you’d appreciate it if he came over…hey, you both could always do a stay at home date, nothing fancy! You’d surely be up for movies to cheer you up - Nejire would gladly lend Tamaki her account, no payment required.
🌸What’s he supposed to do? Nejire’s winking not so subtly as she slyly suggests cuddling under blankets with - oops, he looks like he’s about to faint now. No surprise, Tamaki nearly had a heart attack when you both first brushed fingers.
🌸Tamaki’s social anxiety having him debating between being the object everyone in the corridor must surely be gawking at or running somewhere far far away? No worries either, Mirio’s there to stop him from getting a concussion slamming his head against the wall.
🌸Mirio helpfully knocks very loudly on your door, calling out Tamaki’s name when your groggy voice drifts out. He gives his stunned, dark-haired friend a thumbs up and shoves a box of chocolates into his arms, mouthing “give this to her!” before taking off.
🌸Regrettably Tamaki’s first words to you were not…er…
🌸”You look terrible.”
🌸Immediately Tamaki backtracked, yelping about how it was probably the dim lighting that made him see things wonky, he’s SORRY, he didn’t mean it he was just surprised, please FORGIVE him, uh, uh, please have this box of chocolates as apology! 🌸Oh dear, he’s just too cutely flustered to be mad at, so you accept the box (thrown at you accidentally) with a hoarse laugh, self-consciously trying to smooth down your mussed hair and wrinkled sleeping clothes, asking what brought him here.
🌸Tamaki didn’t miss the way your arm was wrapped around your abdomen, or the way your eyes were a little screwed up from the pain and sleepiness, but he decided to go ahead and ask anyway if you were okay and why you didn’t show up to class today.
🌸Awkwardly you explain your cramps were really bad and after going to Recovery Girl she decided you were better off resting than doing anything physical for the day, admitting you probably shouldn’t have succumbed to the temptations of cold boba the other day.
🌸”Can….can I…can I stay with you? I brought a movie and uh, chocolate and I can bring blankets we could make a fort if you’re not too mad at me-”
🌸”Mad at you?” You tilted your head, surprised and confused. “Why would I be…oh. Is it about our earlier texts?”
🌸He nods, and you reach out to take his hand comfortingly. “Dummy, I know it’s probably a lot for you, but no matter how bad my mood swings are, I’d never get mad at you, alright?”
🌸Tamaki must have some real good karma from his past life to deserve an angel like you.
🌸”So…about that movie date?”
🌸The next day Mirio and Nejire eagerly await news of what had transpired; Tamaki hides his face when you grin brightly and say “I wouldn’t mind having cramps that bad again if he’ll come and cuddle me like that.”
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Chapter 18
Summary: Wanda has been seeing someone. Daisy reconnects with Reader. Jean and Anna have special plans.
A/n: Heeeyy, please don't hate me. Enjoy!
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Wanda checks her watch nervously. She had arrived at the office thirty minutes early to mentally prepare for the appointment. She wasn't sure what she was going to discover in that room. All she knew was that the idea made her feel ill. Her mind jumps to all of the people she slept with and she begins to feel like an idiot. Her leg bounces nervously as she thinks about how she will be judged by the doctor. It won't happen in front of her but she's almost certain it will happen.
“Wanda Maximoff?” Her head snaps up at her name being called. “I'm ready to see you now.” Wanda nods and rises as she collects her things. She was going to be fine. Agatha swears by therapy. She was going to be fine. This was the next step to getting better and getting on with her life.
You are standing in the backyard of your former home. “You wanted to show me my own craft space?” You ask with arms crossed over your chest.
“No, we wanted to show you our future craft space,” Jean says and Anna waves her arms around as she presents a stack of boxes where your tools and materials used to be laid out.
“What's this? You know that I need the space when I get an order. I know it’s been a while but it’s not just for me. I’ve been able to help you guys with the money I make from this side job. It’s not some frivolous hobby,” you walk around the room.
“Yes, well, it’s actually been a year – close to a year and I’m pretty sure we were your last customers,” Jean says. “Besides, since we’re going to have all of this time we thought would be occupied by a baby… We want to make it into a craft space.”
You clamp your mouth shut as you look at the boxes. It wasn’t fair for them to throw that in your face but this scenario was eerily similar to the one you’d witnessed with Wanda’s basement and Vision. You couldn’t stoop as low as that man so you sighed and nodded. “Okay, can you give me time to find somewhere to store it all? I don’t have the space right now.”
“Sure,” Jean says, “just please don’t take too long. I have a lot of idea’s and I’m excited. Well. We’re excited.” She pulls her wife close to her and the two share a kiss. You find their behavior to be odd but you don’t think about it too much.
“Okay,” you drag out. “I should get going. I need to do some grocery shopping and make some phone calls to see who will be willing to store my things until I can find a better place.” You walk through the gate to get to your car as they allow you to go. You scroll through your contacts to see who you can trust with your tools and supplies. You pause for a moment when you see Daisy’s contact. You know that you didn’t love her the way she deserved but it still hurt to see her name. You decide to leave that task for when you’re home because you needed to focus.
You walk around the store with this nagging feeling that you should contact Daisy for some reason. You didn’t understand it. In the time since she ended things with you, you haven’t wanted to contact her once. Maybe it was because things with Wanda have crashed and burned alive. You don’t know, but you had to fight it because it wouldn’t be fair for you to try and insert yourself in her life again. As you shop you recignize her friend and you can’t stop yourself from saying hi. Because you mistakenly feel as though that would be rude. “Hey, Jemma!” You greet with as smile.
Her eyes go wide and she almost runs but instead turns around smiles back. “Y/n, it’s been a while. How have you been?”
You take a deep breath as you mentally run through the chaotic months you’d been having. “I’ve been better,” you nod. “Yeah, um, how have you been?”
She makes a face and narrows her eyes at you, “Let’s not waste our time here. I’m not the person you want to know about. Am I?”
You’re surprised by the implication and you shake your head. “No, I’m genuinely curious about you. I wouldn’t ever put you in a position to update me about Daisy. She made it very clear that she wanted me out of her life.”
Jemma’s eyes scan you and she nods. “I’ve been well. Daisy, however, not so much. I’m telling you this because she is going to reach out to you soon. As much as I don’t like you, you do deserve the warning.”
Your eyebrows twitch and you frown slightly, that was not what you expected to hear. “Oh, I hope I can help her with whatever it is. I just… She’s not going to try and get back together right?”
Jemma bursts out laughing and you smile and nod as she makes a big show of her amusement. “I’ve forgotten how funny you are!” She points at you with a grin. “No! She doesn’t want you back!”
“I’m sorry,” you say as you try not to roll your eyes at her reaction. It was unnecessary. “Just, let her know that she can contact me whenever she wants. I’ll see you around, Jemma. Or maybe I won’t.” You walk away and continue to shop for the week. You go home and put your groceries away and don’t think about Daisy the rest of the day.
Wanda sits in her office and goes over her budget proposal for the project she was assigned. The company has been trying to score her former in-law’s as a client for years. She knew Stark Industries was a big corporation when she married into the family. It’s what paid for this house. It’s what allowed her to not work for six months. It’s what has paid for her new land. But for some reason she still feels weird about using her relationship to the Starks to help this company land them as a client. It made her realize why they probably hired her in the first place even with the unexplained unemployment gap after being fired from her previous firm. She runs through the proposal a couple more times and hopes that this doesn’t create a rift with the people she was getting to build a healthier relationship with.
When she feels confident about the proposal she sets it aside and starts to work on the digital blueprint of her dream home. It has gone from sketches to utilizing the program on her computer to draft together a more visual representation of what she wants her house to look like. She has lots of windows and an open floor plan. She knows where she wants a dining room and how she wants the kitchen to look like. The second floor has a den space and an office space and multiple bedrooms. Then she considers adding a third floor but thinks it might be too much.
She starts to shuffle the rooms around and considers moving the office to the ground floor. Then she adds a basement. Then she takes it away. She plays around with the design until her stomach grumbles and she is reminded that she has to eat. She shut down her work and walks downstairs to make herself something to eat. As she sets out ingredients, she fantasizes about you standing in the kitchen helping her. She wonders if you'd wrap your arms around her and kiss her cheek as she chopped vegetables. She thinks about how easily she could melt against your body. She allows herself to think about moments she could have with you without making herself feel guilty about it. She's tired of feeling guilty for wanting a better life for herself.
As she lays on the couch and watches a show that she has been binging lately she mindlessly traces the letters M, I, N, E, on her upper thigh. In her mind, it's a memory of you, but really it's only another fantasy. She doesn't know why she can't just give in. She doesn't know why she pushes you away. She knows she shouldn't have but she also knows that she probably would have hurt you. She takes a deep breath and sighs.
She walks up to her bed as her mind prepares her for waking up early the next morning. The mental checklist of what she has to take care of tomorrow. What she should wear for her meeting with Tony. What she should make herself for breakfast, lunch and dinner. Should she go out? Should she anticipate Tony offering to take her to lunch?
She thinks about the therapy sessions she has scheduled for the next several weeks. She thinks about wanting to hang out with her friends. Then as she closes her eyes, she thinks about you and a small smile lifts up her lips.
You are getting ready to take your lunch break when your phone goes off in your pocket. Your heart leaps into your throat when Daisy’s image covers your screen. You answer and start walking away from the job site. “Hello?” You say into the phone. There is a loud drilling sound and someone starts banging a hammer on a wall. “Hold on, I can’t hear you. One second please.” You cross the street and keep walking until you find a quiet area. You sit down on a park bench. “Okay, I can hear you now. Um, hey,” you say as you remove your hardhat. “This is a surprise. How are you?”
“Is it a surprise? Jemma told me that she warned you I might contact you,” Daisy says.
“Uh, she did say that but I wasn’t sure when to expect your call. So it is still a surprise,” you reply as you run your fingers through your hair. “She also warned me that you’re not doing too well. Is there something I can do for you?” Daisy goes quiet and you think that the call has dropped, you move the phone from your face to check but the sunlight makes it difficult to tell. “Hello?”
“I’m here,” she sighs and you can tell that she is trying to hide that she is crying. You take a deep breath as you brace yourself for what she might tell you. Maybe Phil is terminally ill. Maybe her mom passed. Maybe this, maybe that.
“I’m here for you,” you tell her. “No matter what, it’s okay. You can tell me.”
“I,” her voice cracks and you wish that you could do something more than sit here on the phone with her. “What I need to talk to you about is better done in person,” she finally says through her sniffles.
“Okay, um where do you want to meet?” You ask. “I don’t have Rachel this week so you could come over to my place because it's a lot more private than yours or if you don’t want privacy I can go to your place after work. Um or we can meet somewhere public. I’m willing to do whatever you need.” You softly offer her options. Your heart is pounding from the anticipation. What could be so bad that she had to see you in person?
“I’m okay with coming over to your place,” she replies.
“Okay,” you state, “does seven-thirty work for you? I’ve been working twelve to thirteen hour shifts to pay those pesky hospital bills.”
“Seven-thirty works,” she answers. “I’ll see you then.”
“I’ll see you then,” you say as the call ends. You sit on that park bench a little bit longer as you fear what Daisy has to say. What could she possibly be holding on to? What has her in tears? What can’t she say over the phone? Your mind races as you eat your lunch. It continues to run as you get back to work and think about what Daisy needs help with.
Wanda laughs with Tony as they sit together in a nice restaurant. Her pitch went well and Tony said that he would consider hiring her for the project. Then he offered to take her to lunch to celebrate. Now the two were discussing highlights of Vision’s finest moments during past holidays. “Oh, remember that time he convinced your dad to let him cut the turkey and he nearly cut his finger off?” Wanda says.
“How could I forget? I’m the one who pointed out that there couldn’t be that much blood on a turkey!” Tony laughs as he lifts his glass from the table and swirls it around. He shakes his head. “I have no clue how I’m related to that man.”
“I don’t know either,” Wanda says. “You are way more fun to be around,” she compliments and they clink their glasses together as they cheers to that.
“You know, Wanda,” Tony starts as he leans in closer. “Why are you wasting your talents working for a company like Nexus Developments? You are family,” he puts his hand on top of Wanda’s. “We could have helped you land a job with the company we usually use or hell, we could have made a branch for you.”
Wanda taps Tony’s hand as she pulls away and slumps back into her seat. “I know that you would have. But I couldn’t ask that of you or your family. Vision would have made it about him some how and lately,” she shakes her head as she feels tears building up. She takes a deep breath. “Lately, whenever your brother doesn’t get his way, my kids pay a price. Hell, even when he does get his way, my kids still suffer.”
Tony nods and takes a drink from his glass, he sighs as the aged scotch goes down smoothly. “I understand your position. Just know that if you ever need help, we are still here for you. Vision can go fuck himself,” he tells her. Wanda laughs a softly as she agrees with his statement. “Who knows, maybe I’ll be able to convince you into a Maximoff and Stark partnership once again. This one being a profitable business instead of an emotional headache.”
Wanda shrugs, “We’ll see. The future is quite unpredictable after all.”
As you walk through the your apartment building you run through the possibilities of the impending conversation over and over in your mind. The scenarios don’t stop until you see Daisy pacing in front of your door. You check the time on your watch and fill with relief that you’re not late, she’s early.
“Hey,” you say as you sort through your keys to find the one that will unlock the door. Daisy startles as you announce your presence. “Sorry, I didn't mean to,” you notice that she doesn't look too good and you just move to open the door. “Let's just,” you hold it open for her and she walks right past you. “Would you like anything to drink? Water maybe?”
Daisy shakes her head. “No, I don't know how long you'll want me in here after I tell you what I need to tell you.”
You make a face, unsure what she could possibly say that would have you kicking her out of your home. “I have a feeling this is something we should sit for. Come on,” you sit down on the couch and wipe the sweat from your forehead.
“Are you sure you don’t want to shower first? You’ve been working hard all day and I know you how much you hate sitting in–” Daisy rambles on as she paces the living room and you have to cut her off.
“Daisy, I hate waiting even more,” you tell her. “Come, sit,” you pat the space next to you on the sofa.
Daisy stands still and frowns at you. “No you don’t. You are the most patient person I know.”
You nod your head slowly, “I can be patient, that’s true. But I still hate waiting.” You admit to her. “I’ve been worried about you all day, Daisy. I don’t want to be pushy but I want to be able to help you. I can’t do that if you don’t stop stalling and tell me what’s wrong.”
Daisy sits next to you and drops her face into her hands. You sit there and wait for her to collect her thoughts and say something. Anything that will explain her behavior. You bounce your leg as your body decides to show your impatience. The movement has Daisy moving her hands from her face through her hair. “The night we broke up I,” the area around her eyes are red and her nose is pink. She doesn't face you because she can't say this and have you look at her differently. She doesn't know where you stand on a topic like this because every conversation the two of you had on the matter was purely hypothetical. She wanted to keep this to herself because she didn't want you to change in her eyes. She likes you the way you are. “I found out that I had um, sorry this is difficult for me to say.”
You hold your hand out to her, “Daisy, it's okay. Whatever it is,” you trail as she turns her head away from you. “Are you sick?” You ask softly as her shoulders shake.
She turns her head to stare in front of her as she shakes her head and wipes her tears. “No, I'm not sick. That's not the kind of results I had received,” she reaches for the box of tissues in the coffee table and blows her nose. “I found out that I was pregnant,” she finally says.
You feel your heart stop beating and drop to your stomach. You grow nauseous at the news. “Oh,” you grab onto the arm of the couch as if you're going to faint. “I um,” you blink a couple of times. “Is it someone else's?” The words stumble out before you can process the implication.
“I never cheated on you,” she states sharply and she looks at you this time.
“I'm sorry, I shouldn't have… I mean, can you blame me for asking? You didn't tell me until today. You broke up with me instead of telling me. I can't think of why you would do that unless the baby wasn't mine or —” you stop talking as you look at her and clamp your mouth shut. Daisy avoids your eye contact as you recall her behavior that night. She didn't want to be a mother. She kept telling you that as she tried to leave. “Oh,” you react again. The tension in your body releases and you try to figure out how you can address this conversation respectfully. “You decided not to go through with the um the uh pregnancy? Is that what you're telling me?” You try to keep your tone even and your features neutral, trying to avoid showing any insensitive emotions out of respect.
Daisy closes her eyes as she starts to sob. “I couldn't go through with it. I'm not ready.” She says through her tears. You nod your head because you don't know what to do or how to properly react. “It wasn't an easy decision, you know? I thought about it for a couple of weeks and I thought about telling you but I was so scared that you would be happy and I would have the baby to please you and I just —”
“Daisy,” you call her name until she stops rambling and you enter her personal space, pulling her against your chest to let her know that you are there for her. “Daisy, I get it. It's okay. I’m not ready for another kid. Shh, shh, it's okay. It's your body, I would have never asked—”
“I know you wouldn't have but I would have done it! For you!” She interrupts. “Because I know how much you love kids and you're a great parent. You're so great with Rachel and I know how much she wants siblings and I just couldn't. I couldn't be the one to give you that. But if I told you, I would have gone through with it and I would have been miserable,” she continues to ramble. You pull back and get her to look you in the eye.
“Daisy, you're not listening,” you say calmly. “Breathe with me. Okay?” She nods with you and you count to four with your fingers as you inhale through your nose. Then you put down the four fingers as you hold. You lift them back up as you exhale. And you repeat the process with Daisy until she appears a little more relaxed. “Daisy, recently I've been asked by my ex-wife to have more kids with her and I told her no. I — this is going to sound horrible but — I wasn't ready to be Rachel's parent. I love her, she is my world. But it took me longer than anyone realizes to be comfortable being her parent. I wasn't ready and I know that a lot of parents will tell you that none of them were ready and that's,” you wave your hand to the side. “It's quite clear that they weren't and I don't think it should be that way.” You shake your head. “Daisy, I'm telling you right now that I'm not ready for another child. When you told me about the pregnancy right now I nearly threw up. You made the right decision. I'm not mad at you. I don't hate you for making this decision on your own. It's your choice, I'm just sorry that I didn't make you feel like you could come to me about this. I'm sorry that I wasn't there for you.” Daisy closes her eyes and leans against your chest.
Neither of you talk for a moment. Allowing yourselves to process and accept the truths that each has shared. You think about how that night might’ve gone differently. You wouldn’t have lived with Wanda for almost two weeks. You wouldn’t have gotten as close to Wanda as you have. You would have been having back-and-forth conversations with Daisy. You would have developed a stronger relationship. Maybe. It could have turned sour. She could have grown distant and resented you or herself for the decision. Who knows? That wasn’t what happened. So it doesn’t matter now. But you can’t help but think where you could have been now had things happened differently.
“Did you deal with this alone?” You eventually ask her. Daisy shakes her head against your chest. You’re surprised she is still resting against you because normally she couldn’t stand the smell of your sweat and the other odors that come from manual labor when the two of you were together. “Jemma?” She nods against you. “Can I ask, uh, what… or why did you bring this to me now?” You ask carefully.
You feel Daisy take a deep breath and this is what pulls her away from you. She wipes her face and sits against the back of the couch. She plays with the rings on her fingers and flexes her jaw. “I didn’t get the abortion until a couple of weeks ago,” she admits. “I almost went through with the pregnancy because,” she takes another shaky breath. “Jean was at the same clinic I was at to make the appointment. I spilled my guts to her because Jemma had to leave halfway through since it wasn't the appointment and Jean was there when I had second thoughts. It took me a couple of weeks to even go in because I was in denial for a bit. I didn’t want to believe it was true. Then I saw the sonogram and I,” she shakes her head and looks up to the ceiling. “I had second thoughts.” She shrugs her shoulders and you take one of her hands to offer your support. It’s not an easy decision for most. That's assuming that it's ever an easy decision for anyone. “Jean offered to pay for my doctor bills and prenatal care if I decided to follow through with the pregnancy and gave her and Anna the baby and never told you about any of this.” You drop Daisy’s hand and turn away from her.
You stand up with that nauseous feeling again, not sure what to do about a betrayal of this caliber. You know that Jean has a tendency to do anything and everything to get what she wants when she wants it but… This was too far. “I can’t fucking,” you shake your head. You want to punch a wall or break something but you can’t. You can’t afford the injury. You can’t afford the plaster to fix the wall. You can’t afford to replace the things you have. You can’t afford any of this because you thought you were paying off debts before interest can build on them. You thought you were doing everything right. You thought you could trust Jean. You can’t believe she would go so far as to put Daisy through something like this.
“Please don’t hate me,” Daisy begs, “I was confused and I wasn’t sure what I wanted. I only said yes at first because I thought you would be allowed to be in their life and I thought you would like that and–”
“I’m not upset with you,” you cut her off. “It’s not your fault,” you try to focus on your breathing but you can’t calm down. You can’t focus on anything. You don’t know how someone can be so deranged. You look at Daisy and you feel so guilty for what happened to her. The position she was put in. It makes sense why one day Jean is ready to cut your head off for saying no and then next she’s perfectly fine. What kind of person could be so deceptive? What kind of person… you huff through your nose. “I’m sorry that you had to go through that,” you say to Daisy in the softest tone you could muster up. “You shouldn’t have… She shouldn’t’ve…” you shake your head and close your eyes.
Daisy stands up and takes your white-knuckled fist and massages the tight skin until you release your grip. “I am going to be okay. I probably shouldn’t have told you. I just, I don’t know. At first the offer was that I just give them the baby. I wrongfully assumed that also meant giving you the baby. Then she eventually told me that you would not know that the baby was even yours,” she shakes her head. “I couldn’t put myself in the middle of this. I couldn’t put anyone in the middle of that. I didn't want to be part of why Rachel’s parents grew to hate each other. You guys are such healthy examples for her.” You begin to grow upset again thinking about how Jean deceived Daisy. How she was ready to deceive you. It was one thing to ask you to knowingly not be allowed in your child's life. But to go behind your back and essentially kidnap what almost was your child… you couldn’t believe it.
“When I had the chance to think about it, I didn’t want to give birth. I couldn’t go through with it so without telling her, I went through with the abortion because that’s what I wanted.” Daisy closes her eyes as tears slip out and she continues to rub your hand. Something she learned that can keep you grounded. “The only thing that has been tearing me apart about this whole thing is how much of it was being kept from you. I haven’t been able to sleep because of it. You deserve to know.”
“Thank you for telling me,” you state as you watch her rub your hands. You clench your jaw as your eyebrows knit together. Normally an action like this would calm you down but the information was far too upsetting. “I need to go for a walk or something. I don’t know. I just can’t be here right now.” You pull your hand away.
“I don’t think you should be alone,” Daisy tries to pull you back to her.
“Trust me, right now, that’s what’s best for everyone,” you say as you hold your hand up to stop her from coming any closer to you. Daisy stares at you, wanting to be in your arms again. Wanting to feel that comfort that you brought her. Both in the past and just before she dropped the bomb on you. But you weren't someone that sought after touch when you were going through something. You retreated. You isolated yourself. At least, that's what you did when you were with her. She might never know that there are other sides to you. Especially not after tonight.
“Okay,” she says just above a whisper. “Okay,” she repeats as she walks to the exit. “I'm sorry for everything, again,” she says as she steps into the hallway. “Please, don't do anything stupid.” She disappears, leaving the door open.
You stare at the door as you think of what you want to do. You think about getting into your car but you're afraid that if you do, you'll drive into a tree or worse. You'll drive to Jean’s house. You couldn't do that to Rachel. You check that you have your keys, phone, and wallet in your pockets and then you lock up your apartment on your way out. Stepping out onto the concrete sidewalk outside of your apartment building you look every which way. There are bars and restaurants down each way. You could easily find somewhere to drink but that's not what you want to do. So you start walking.
You walk aimlessly for a long time. You walk until your legs begin to ache and your feet begin to hurt. You find yourself at a dock, there are many boats parked but you find a space without one. You sit at the ledge and look out to the water and breathe. The smell of the salty water is calming. You watch as the water moves causing the reflection of the lights to dance. You allow yourself to grieve because even though you didn't want another child, you contributed to almost bringing another life into the world. It was a weird feeling. You're not upset with Daisy for making her choice, you are grateful to her. But you still feel the loss. You didn't understand the feeling but you let yourself feel it. Because even though you don't understand why you feel the way that you do, you don't have to justify or explain it to anyone. You can just allow yourself to feel whatever you want to.
Then you grieve the relationship you thought you had with Jean. You can't believe she would pull something like this. You don't understand where an idea like that would come from out of her. You don't know how you'll be able to move past this. You feel like she took everything the two of you built together over the years and tore it apart bit by bit. You feel disgusting. You feel used. You take deep breaths as you feel it all. Hoping to release it in a healthy way. It was done, there wasn't much else that you could do about it now except to confront her. You couldn't do that until Sunday.
When you stand up to leave, you slip and fall into the water. You don't try to swim at first. You let the water move you. Trusting that it won't take you away. That it won't pull you under and shorten your time on this planet. You just float in the water. Eventually, the need for air is too great and you swim up until you break the surface with a big gasp.
You pull yourself up onto the dock and start walking home. You are grateful for the bulky phone case when you pull it out of your pocket to find that the phone is perfectly fine. You use the map application in order to navigate your way home. When you arrive at your destination you shower and eat a microwavable meal. You fall into your bed after taking a sleep aid and fall asleep.
The next day, at work, Wanda stops by the job site around lunch time. You walk into Pietro’s office and find the two of them laughing with takeaway meals in front of them. You still feel horrible from the night before. But hearing her laugh heals the wounds inside your heart.
“Y/n!” Wanda grins. “I brought you something too,” she holds up a container. You look at the container and try not to show that you have anything wrong with you by forcing on a smile.
“You didn't have to,” you say as you move to the sink to wash your hands before you join them. “I appreciate this. Is there an occasion I'm not aware of?” You ask as you open the container. The aroma of your favorite food should have made you happier, instead you began to feel nauseous again. It has nothing to do with the food or Wanda's presence and everything to do with the feelings that you're suppressing.
“No, I had lunch with Tony yesterday and it reminded me how much I enjoy having lunch with other people,” she shrugs. “Isolation can become a bit of a downside when it comes to working from home for me sometimes.”
You nod, “Makes sense. Why don't you do the hybrid method? That's what Daisy did with school. She would do online classes and in-person classes,” you suggest before you take a bite. You chew slowly because you do need to eat. No matter how sick you're feeling.
“That's a good idea,” Pietro agrees. “You could finally get better acquainted with the rest of the staff.”
Wanda makes a distasteful face, “I don't know. Getting to know people always leads to getting stuck in the middle of their drama.” She shakes her head. “I think I have enough of my own.”
Pietro shrugs, “You never know. Sometimes it's good to hear about other people's drama. It makes your life sound better. Why do you think I still talk to you? Just because you're my sister?” Wanda’s eyes widen and she punches her brother on his shoulder. “Hey! It's not my fault, you have the most dramatic life out of anyone I know! Y/n,” he nudges you, “back me up here!”
You are snapped out of your head and try to catch up with the conversation. You look between them cluelessly. “I'm sorry, I probably have her beat when it comes to a dramatic life.”
Pietro shakes his head, “What are you talking about? Other than that baby thing, you are relatively drama free. That drama even ended pretty well from what I remember.”
You feel a little light headed as you are reminded by the development of that issue. That there is a new ending to the situation. But you don't tell him. You don't want to tell him. You're not even sure you want to tell Wanda. Not right now at least. You nod, “Yeah, I guess you're right.” You turn to Wanda with a playful shrug. “Sorry, I tried.” Wanda shakes her head and the three of you share a laugh.
“Whatever,” Wanda mutters as she stabs her salad with her fork.
When lunch is over, you walk Wanda out to her car. You're quiet as she talks to you about her current project and updating you on her boys. Then she asks you if you are okay because you seem a little off. You shrug and stop when you reach the car. “Um the other day, Jean and Anna asked me to move my workshop out of their shed,” you scratch behind your ear. Feeling queasy saying her name.
“Your workshop?” Wanda asks as she unlocks her car.
“Yeah, just my tools and some leftover materials that I used on my last order,” you explain as you open the car door for her.
“Last order? What do you mean?” Wanda reaches over and sets her purse on the passenger seat but she doesn't sit in her car just yet.
“I have a little side business. Haven't I told you about it before?” You are surprised with yourself that you haven't mentioned this to her before. You try to think of a time that you might've brought it up before but you come up with nothing. There just hasn't been a reason to. Wanda shakes her head as she does the same. “Ah well, I have a small business. I take custom orders. Anything that someone wants built, I build it.” You pull out your phone and show her your website. “Just something to help with the bills whenever I can't get a lot of hours.” She takes your phone and nods, impressed by the stuff you have built in the past. “Anyway, the reason it's on my mind, they want me to move my stuff out of the shed. I can't really afford a place to be able to store everything and be able to have the space to work on orders.”
“I have a shed that, admittedly, could use some care,” she says as she hands you back your phone. “You could set up shop in there, at no cost, of course.”
“Wanda, I can't take you up on that offer,” you resist.
“Yes, you can,” she insists. “Why couldn't you?”
You look away and lick your lips as you are reminded of the night she rejected you. “I would need a lot of access to it when or really if I get another order. I don't know if it's a good idea for us to spend that much time together.”
Wanda nods as she understands where you're coming from. “Technically we wouldn't be spending any of that time together. You'd be working and I would be inside my house or doing something. Come on, we're friends. Let me help you with this.”
You focus your eyes back to hers and you think about just how much she has been helping you. It doesn't feel like there is a balance in the friendship with how often she helps you compared to how often you help her. “I don't know Wanda,” you say as you bite your bottom lip in thought. You can't think of a good reason to say no so you don't. You shrug and nod at her. “Okay, yeah, I will take you up on that offer. Thank you, Wanda. I really appreciate it. Is it okay if I bring it all by on Sunday?”
Wanda smiles and nods, “Of course, come by then. I'm sure the boys will be happy to see you and Rachel again. They were pretty upset about not having you guys there last week.”
“Yeah, Rachel wasn't happy about it either. She prefers cooking with you a lot more than she does with me,” you say with a soft laugh. Wanda smiles at her shoes as she thinks about how much she prefers cooking with you over anyone else. She looks back up and locks eyes with you. She feels like an idiot for pushing you away but she doesn't feel ready to tell you how she feels about you.
“I'll see you on Sunday,” she says and you nod as you repeat her departing words as you step away from her. You wave as she drives off and you go back to work without thinking about your problems with Jean and instead thinking about Wanda and how pretty she looked today.
Saturday night you can't sleep. You toss and turn even after taking a sleep aid. Your heart pounds as your mind races about seeing Jean the next day. You can't stop running through scenarios of confronting her. Are you going to do it right away? Are you going to choke? Is the sight of her going to make you nauseous? Or worse. Is it going to cause you to actually vomit? Will you be able to see her without getting angry? You're going to have to be there longer than you want to because you have to load your truck with your stuff but are you going to make it through? You don't know. And you're exhausted by the anticipation.
You are lucky to get in a nap before you have to pick up Rachel. You have to drink two cups of coffee before you feel awake enough to drive. On the drive over, you are yet again practicing what you're going to say when you arrive. You yawn as you park and shake your head to get you ready to knock on the door. You stare at the house as you try to remember that she is your friend. She was your favorite person once upon a time. You loved her. But it's all tainted now. She has slowly burned you out and ripped you to shreds.
You step out of your truck and knock on the door. You look at the welcome mat to keep yourself calm as you wait. When there's no response, you ring the doorbell. You take slow breaths as you try to clear your mind. You can't think about what Daisy told you in front of Rachel.
Anna is the one to open the door. Since Daisy hadn't mentioned her, you can tell yourself that she isn't someone that you should be upset with and you can tell yourself that she has no idea. At least until you can figure out when to confront them about this. You walk through the house to get to your stuff in the backyard but when you bring the tools to your truck you go through the gate that leads to the front instead of going through the house. You don't say anything to Anna, you don't even ask why she's the only person you've seen so far. You just focus on your task. Move your tools from the shed to your truck. When you're done, Rachel greets you with a tight hug that you are happy to reciprocate. It's a relief to see her and to hold her.
Jean is on the phone in the kitchen and you don't feel the desire to interrupt her conversation just to confront her. You decide to leave it alone. You take Rachel to the car and help her get inside. “Did you hear the good news?” Rachel asks as you get settled in the driver's seat. You shake your head and ask her what the good news is. “I'm having a baby brother! My mommies said so. I'm going to be a big sister!” Your heart stops as your entire body freezes. How could they tell her something like that? How do they even know what the gender would have been?
“Wait right here, I need to ask your mommies something,” you tell your daughter with a tight voice. You climb out of the truck and walk to the front door. This time, you enter without knocking and walk up to Jean as she ends her phone call. “How dare you,” you start bitterly. Jean is thrown off and her confused smile drops. “How dare you put Daisy in that kind of position. How dare you tell our daughter that she's going to be a big sister before there is a baby. There isn't going to be a baby! There never should have been. You shouldn't have tried to talk Daisy out of her decision. You are a cisgendered female, you should have some respect when it comes to another woman making a decision about her life and her body. Not only that, you are my best friend. Or at least you used to be. I thought you would have enough respect for me to tell me the moment you found out about Daisy's pregnancy. I was mistaken to believe the lies you told me but I will not allow that behavior to affect our daughter. So you better be a thousand percent certain when it comes to something as big as a sibling coming into her life before you tell her anything!” You take a split second to decide whether or not to continue and with how upset you are, you can't stop yourself. “And I was going to let Daisy tell you this herself but I will do what you should have done. She went through with her decision. There won't be a baby. Now I suggest that you either start looking into fostering or adopting — no. You should get your fucking head checked be clearly you are out of your fucking mind, Jean!” Jean slaps you clear across your face. The slap was loud and the impact was hard. It stings and you lift your hand up to your face in shock.
“Get out!” Anna shouts from behind you. You are shaking with anger. You weren't aware that you had gotten so furious with the situation. You try to say more but Anna won't let you. Jean is in tears and looking down at her hand, shocked by her own actions. Anna steps in between you and her wife. “Get the fuck out of my house Y/n! Get out! Get out!” She starts pushing you backwards. You hold your hands up and shake your head.
“You're both unbelievable. I'm going,” you walk out after Anna's last shove. You can't believe the reactions. You can't believe the lack of accountability. You storm across the yard and climb into the truck.
“What's wrong?” Rachel asks in a scared little voice. You feel terrible seeing her shaken up. You sigh and close your eyes before you look at her.
“Nothing sweetheart,” you say as softly as you can. “Nothing, let's just… we're going to go home and I'm going to go for a run and then maybe we'll stop by Wanda’s house to drop all of this stuff off later. How does that sound?” You try to make her feel more at ease.
“Why can't we go to Ms. Wanda’s first? I really want to see Tommy and Billy and tell them about the good news!” She asks innocently and you have to close your eyes to calm down. You open them and start the engine. You need to distance yourself from this house. From Jean and Anna. You're starting to wonder if your ex’s behavior is being instigated by her wife. You aren't sure how you can find out. But it's definitely something to look into with the lengths she's gone through to make this idea of theirs happen.
“Honey, mommies were mistaken. You're not going to be a big sister,” you correct her.
Rachel frowns, “Yes I am. They said so. My mommies don't lie to me, Baba.”
“I know that sweetheart, that's why I said that they were mistaken. That's not the same as lying, it's more like they didn't know what they were telling you wasn't true,” you take a second to glance at her. “Does that make sense to you?” Rachel nods with tears building in her eyes. “Awe baby girl, what's wrong?”
“I really wanted to be a big sister,” she says as she wipes her tears. You feel bad as you continue to drive.
“I know sweetie, I know,” you sigh as you start to reconsider their proposal. But you quickly shove that thought out of your mind. You cannot allow your daughters disappointment to change your mind on a matter of this magnitude. “Do you still want to go to Wanda’s first?”
“Yes please,” she says as she continues to wipe her face. “I want to see my friends.” You want to calm down before you see Wanda. You don't want to pull her into more of your problems. But you feel bad enough for taking away your daughters smile. So you suck it up and drive to Wanda’s house. You text her that you're on the way when you stop at a red light.
When you pull up the driveway, Wanda is waiting outside with a smile. She knocks on the window and talks as you roll it down. “I don't care what you say, I'm helping you move the stuff into the shed.” Her wide smiles drops to an expression of concern when she sees the red mark on your cheek. She looks further into the truck and sees Rachel's face is red from crying. “What happened?” She looks you over and you shake your head.
“Nothing, why do you ask?” You say, oblivious to the evidence on your face while you try to hide your frustration from the day.
Wanda leans in as close as she can get. “Have you looked in the mirror?” She says in a low whisper.
Your eyebrows knit together and you frown before you drop the visor mirror to check yourself out. Then you see the mark and you shut it. You want to curse yourself for not going home first. “I can't talk about it right now. Can we start moving this stuff?” Wanda nods and allows you to get out of the vehicle. You walk to the other side to help Rachel down before you start to take stuff down from your truck. You hand some boxes to Wanda and she leads the way to her shed. She talks the entire way about how she spent her entire Saturday reorganizing the entire space. You hardly listen as your mind replays the last hour. How Jean slapped you and Anna pushed you. How angry you felt — no, feel.
Once the pair of you set the boxes down Wanda asks again what happened and the words come out of you before you can stop them. You tell her everything from running into Jemma to what happened with Jean just moments ago. Wanda is quiet as she stands there and processes. She doesn't look at you as she does. You shift your weight uncomfortably as you wait for a response. When she finally moves you don't expect her to hug you the way that she does. She holds you tightly in a warm embrace that breaks your walls down.
“I'm so sorry,” she whispers against your chest as you break down in tears and she rubs your back. You let her hold you and comfort you in ways that you hardly ever allowed anyone to take care of you. You allow her to witness a side of vulnerability that you rarely let many see.
After a bit of time the both of you stop crying. You and Wanda sneak into the house and each go to a bathroom in order to wash your faces and then get back to work. Together the truck gets emptied of the tools and materials in an impressive amount of time and was put away in the shed. When the both of you finish, Wanda gets a phone call and excuses herself to answer. You follow her inside to wash your hands.
You get a message from Nebula and you feel slightly guilty when you do. You open the message and you clench your jaw as she admits how much she likes you and asks when she can see you next. The two of you went out on a date shortly after Wanda rejected you. It was an okay date but with everything going on, it doesn't feel right. You close your phone and head upstairs to check on the kids. As you do so you pass Wanda's office. Her door is slightly ajar. You don't mean to listen in but when you hear the words, “Thank you for introducing me… yeah he has made me feel things I haven't felt before,” and, “I feel like he understands me better than I understand me.” You feel your heart sink. You continue to walk to check on the kids as you try to tell yourself that you didn't hear the entire conversation so you couldn't possibly know what she was talking about. But a small voice in the back of your head is telling you that she rejected you because she found someone else. A reality that you'll have to accept if you and Wanda are going to continue to be friends.
After you check on the kids you schedule another date with Nebula for the next Sunday after you drop Rachel off. Then you continue on with your night with Wanda and the kids. Doing your best to keep your mind off of everything else.
Chapter 19
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Hi Mark! I've been following you here for somewhere around 10 years (I believe I found your blog shortly after I got into the game with the original Theros) and if I could just be a data point for a moment:
FDN reads to me like a love letter to many of the cards I've played over the years. I'm incredibly excited for the prerelease next week, and already making plans to pick up a box and maybe some jumpstart to play limited together.
However, with no ill will towards you personally, UB in standard may be what gets me to stop playing, at least for a while. It makes me feel like I'm playing an advertisement for the current pop culture rather than feel like I'm a wizard casting spells at my friends.
Regardless, thank you for everything you've done for the game I love.
Thanks for writing.
I do hear that many players are concerned about how having Universes Beyond in Standard will feel. I don’t wish to minimize the concern. I do want to hear how games feel when you start playing with actual Universes Beyond cards.
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