#ouuuuurgrghrgrgghrghgrghrgfrhgrh okay. i need to wash up my dishes
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man I don't even wanna watch this ep anymore
#cant rly cancel bc im the one that made plans. maybe i can just leave halfway thru and say im too tired but ill finish it in my own time#or maybe ill sit there and just shut my mouth and no one will care either way#at least this isnt a mentally ill mood swing its just bc im tired and crashing snd its my birthday next week and i fucking hate birthdays#not even bc of ageing i dont give a fuck abt that i just cant celebrate them its too much and i dont even wanna get into it rn#but i can almost guarantee i will end up ventposting abt it clsoer to the time anyway bc im insane#remembering now i even made a whole vent comic for it 3 years ago.. and here we are still with the same problems. ugh!#okay. okay making an effort to be nice and play along its just an hour or so anyway and then i can finally fucking sleep#and ill apologise tomorrow. when im actually sorry#.diaries#.vent#my magical ability to get pissed off at anything. theyre talking abt how u have to suffer to get anywhere in life in the gc rn#barely restraining myself jumping in to say that sometimes suffering is just suffering and unnecessary and we dont need to valorise it#as a form of purpose or whatever. why does life even need to have a purpose cant we just be trying to get by and get along#ouuuuurgrghrgrgghrghgrghrgfrhgrh okay. i need to wash up my dishes
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