#maybe i'm safer when i'm on the run // no time to open up my heart. (jackson)
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lunaandco · 4 months ago
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guys my age; part three
pairing: alexia putellas x ofc summary: alexia realises that by trying to protect claudia she might be doing more harm than good. author's note: the last one! taglist: @htpssgavi ; @joaosnovia masterlist // series masterlist // I do not take requests
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Alexia wanted to bang her head against the wall. Everything she tried had worked against her. Avoiding Claudia meant that the younger got hurt, whether because she needed her captain in the context of her career, or because she was confronted with the posibility of a broken heart.
It also ended up causing Alexia to just want her more, and when she caved in, it was more explosive and intense than it was healthy. She needed help, and there was only one person that could provide that advice without judgement.
"It's a messed up situation," Jenni said on the phone. Her voice was a reliveing balm on Alexia's skin. "That girl is really into you. And by the sound of it, your're really into her too."
"Yes, but—"
"Ah, ah, ah, there it is. You just admitted you want her, right?"
"Yes."
"Then that is all you need to know. You want her, she wants you. It's going to do more harm to push her away, don't you think?"
"Yes..." Alexia could not stop replaying the moment Claudia left her home, crying.
"If you're worried about the power imbalance, I'm sure they can help you from HR. There is no way there isn't a protocol for situations like this."
Jenni saw life like everything was just so easy, talking to her made Alexia wonder why she was worried about something in the first place.
"Alright."
💙❤️
Alexia reached Claudia's apartment that same afternoon. It had been less than 24 hours from her argument with Claudia, and she hoped she was still on time.
The door opened, but it was Gavi who greeted her. He was frowning, his arms crossed over his chest.
It hit Alexia with the realisation that there was a lot of things she didn't know about Claudia. She had mentioned before being in the same age group as the men's teenage sensation, but Alexia had never thought they were close enough to comfort each other during a break up as delicate as this one.
"I hope you're here to apolpogise," he said, his voice trembling a little. He had the usual hero worship glint on his eyes that Alexia was used to recieving from little girls.
"I am," she said. "Is she...?
"Heartbroken," he replied, letting her in. "But I think that it's better that you two talk it over, whatever the outcome is, you two need clousure."
"Thank you." Gavi was known for his explosive character, so this calm was all Alexia was going to ask for.
Alexia walkded to Claudia's room, where she was laying on her bed, sniffling.
"Who was—" Claudia fell silent once she realised she was not talking to Gavi. "Oh."
"Hey, Claudia," greeted Alexia, reaching the bed. "May I sit?"
Claudia nodded fuiously, and also sat properly, allowing he more space.
"If you're here to break up with me fully, I don't want to hear it." She said. "Consider it done, just don't make it hurt anymore."
"Actually, I was going to ask you if we could maybe talk with the club's psychologist and HR. I think it would help us, not only be healthier, but also have a safer realtionship, if you still want it."
Claudia blinked perplexed.
"You mean it?" she asked.
"Yes."
"Say it." Claudia crossed her arms, frowning. "I won't believe it until I hear it."
"I want you, Claudia. And I' sorry it took me so long to understand that I can't run away from my feelin—"
Claudia's thorwing herself on top of Alexia cut her speech short.
"Thank you," she said burying her face on her shoulder. "I've wanted you too. So much."
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blueberri-blu · 5 months ago
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Serious \|/
[rise] leo x reader (post movie)
Movie Spoilers!!
Angst to Fluff <3
Prompt 7: "I'm trying to have a serious conversation with you!" "And I'm trying to subtly avoid it!"
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Emotions were running high, to say the least.
Everyone was coping anyway they could
Donnie was locked away in his lab, tinkering with his tech in hopes of making it safer
Raph was cooped up in his room, refusing to come out, practicing anger management
And Mikey kept practicing and practicing his mystic magic.
Leo on the other hand? He kept on going as of his usual self.
Albeit, he was a bit more serious, but he was acting as if nothing had ever happened.
You thought maybe he just didn't want to talk about it so soon. But days turned to weeks, turned to months. And now it had been 7 months after the invasion, and he had yet to talk about it.
You asked all of his brothers if had opened up and talked to them, not needing to know the details, just wanting to see if he had been able to speak to someone about the traumatizing event. Yet, everyone said no.
Leo had his lips sealed... Other than his typical one liners and puns, that is.
You were determined to get him to talk, to anyone, really, it didn't have to be you! You just wanted the best for him, and suppressing his feelings just wasn't the way to do so.
You were going to trap him. No way for him to escape, no way for him to avoid you, nothing.
You promised Leo a romantic night out. A rooftop with fairy lights, blankets and pillows, his favorite foods and snacks, the whole works.
"A surprise you say, and what brought this on Mi amor?" "oh nothing, just thought I'd do something nice for you, mi rey" (mi rey = my king) oh he was putty in your hands, especially after that nickname. And so you two continued on with your day as normal.
Once evening rolled around, you texted Leo the address, and started your trip there.
Surprisingly, you were the first to arrive, meaning you could double check everything, just in case.
Poor Leo arrived and practically melted, the scene was so romantic, with New Yorks city lights making a beautiful background for your two's night out.
You ate dinner, had a dessert, and then just laid together under the fairy lights.
"Oh, mi vida (my life) you have truly outdone yourself, really, you've swept me off my feet." "I'm glad Leo, really, I know these last few months have been... Rough" "haha, right ... Ahem, anyway, that dinner was impeccable, mi amor, this whole date has been delicious, yet I still have room for more... *Wink* because I could just eat you up!" His fingers went to your sides, tickling you to the point of you not being able to breathe. The only sounds you could make, were wheezing.
"LEOOOOOO STO- HAHAHAHA- STOOOOOP" He only stopped when he noticed your face was too close to a blue hue.
"ok, ok, ok, my hands *jazz hands* are up, officer"
You sighed, "Leo... Look, you... You're great, really, and... I want you to know that, I love you, so so much, ok? And, all I want is the best for you!"
"I'd sure hope so, we are dating y'know"
"Leo... You know what I mean Mi Rey"
"Of course I do! This romantic gesture, your loving words, are you going to propose to me mi amor?"
"Leo..."
"I mean, I do believe we are young, but, he'll! I'd say yes!"
"LEO!"
"Mi Vida!"
"I'm trying to have a serious conversation with you!"
"And I'm trying to subtly avoid it!"
...
You stared at each other. And that's when you saw it. The fear. Leo was scared, you could see it in his eyes, it swirled around, grabbing him, choking him. He quickly looked away, feeling the lump in his throat grow bigger and bigger
"Leo... I know it's hard to talk about but... You can't keep it bottled up, it will only make things worse, mi rey" "... I know but..." He looked back up at you.
You could tell he was struggling, so you took hold of his hand, and started rubbing hearts in his palm. "It's ok, Leo, take your time" you said softly.
Your voice always calmed him. You were kind, and calm, a grand contrast to his... Grand and expressive personality. He loved it.
"y/n, I- my brother's, they're all- they're all struggling and I- I just wanted to-" he broke into a sob. You hugged him, tightly, allowing him to melt into you.
You took deep breaths, knowing Leo would mimic your breathing.
As he calmed down a bit, he continued "all go my brother's, they're all, they're all struggling so much, and I- all I want to do is- is cheer them up y'know? I- I wanna be their rock, I wanna be your rock too" you sighed, hugging him tighter "Leo, as much as we all appreciate the sense of normalcy you've given, that's, that's not the way to do so. What your brothers and I want is to bond over this big traumatic event we've all faced, together. You don't have to talk to me about it, it could be anyone, so long as you're not keeping it to yourself, mi vida"
It was Leo's turn to sigh. He turned, looking into your eyes, they were a bit red from his crying, and a bit puffy, but he seemed... Relieved.
He then buried his face in your chest, and continued
He talked and talked, about his fears, his regrets, how he wished he could've done more, how he was so scared, how he tried his best, and still almost failed
You and Leo were there all night. Until the sun came up, waking you both. He seemed... Lighter, as if a weight heavier than life itself had been lifted off his chest.
And all Leo could think about, walking hand in hand with you on his side, back to the lair, was how much he loved you, every part of you.
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fernpetals · 8 months ago
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And (Part 2 of 'The Night is Dark)
Masterlist
Yandere Constantine x Reader
This is the sequel of this fic. I suggest reading this drabble before continuing with this piece.
You have not been on a date for ages. Never felt the need to, it has been so long, pining over John Constantine, playing hide-and-seek, and playing with him.
It's not like you did not understand his reasoning when he first deflected putting a tag to what you two share...shared. You still understand his reasons. But you are tired of putting your feelings aside for the sake of the man you have loved like no other before.
You are finally putting your heart first, your feelings, yourself first. And for that, the first step is avoiding John Constantine at all costs.
You have considered going out with someone else, just to take your mind off. But like the coward that you are, you chickened out in the last moment.
You have come to realise that if you truly wish to move on, you will find no solace in someone else's arms, but in yourself alone. The fruits will take time to bear, but will be sweeter and never run out.
So, you are, for once, present in your office party, truly mingling in rather then spending your nights either alone in your apartment or with Constantine---he would always insist on being with you every night, afraid that something might attack you.
And now, it has been two weeks without him by your side, without hearing his voice, feeling his touch, feeling him inside you. It feels odd, but you know that it will get better.
----
Being a Friday, your colleagues have taken the liberty of enjoying the night and by the time your car pulls up at the parking garage of your apartment, it's 3 AM, the time Constantine is most alert. You roll your eyes at the thought as you stand in the lift. He is a permanent resident in your mind and the termite eating away your heart. You feel the tiredness finally kicking in as you near your floor. You are ready to hit the bed as soon as you can.
Your slumped shoulders, however, stiffen up as soon as the doors open, revealing Constantine by your apartment door, fiddling with a cigarette. His gaze rises to meet yours.
"Where have you been? Do you have any idea how worried I was?" He strides towards you, flicking the toxic stick away.
"I was at a dinner party." You regret explaining your absence to him immediately.
What is done is done, you can blame habit for this.
"At a dinner party this late? Alone? You know the dangers lurking in the dark don't you?"
You do not respond, instead focus on unlocking your apartment, trying to keep your quivering hands steady. You hope that he doesn't notice.
"You have been ignoring me. Why?" You pause at the way his voice drops.
You look up, seeing him tower over you. Maybe this has to be done now.
"Constantine...I think...I think we should not see each other anymore."
His eyes narrow at your words before his hand wraps around your wrist, ceasing your nervous movements.
"What are you talking about? Are you drunk?"
"I'm not drunk Constantine. I am finally brave enough to let go of something that has only brought me heartbreak." You snatch your wrist from his hold and open your apartment door, refusing to meet his gaze. "What do---Is it about the other day? You were drunk out of your mind, you were imagining--"
"I know when I imagine things and when they are real. Don't try that trick on me, John." You snap, glaring at him as you hold the door handle, ready to slam it shut. Constantine sighs and looks away "I already told you (Y/N). You don't understand."
"I do, John, trust me, I do understand now. I see it clearly now. I must protect my heart first. I'm tired John, I'm tired of this, I can't do this anymore. I am choosing myself this time, I cannot allow you to keep breaking my heart just because you think I am safer that way." "Because you are and---"
"Goodnight John." You say, cutting him off and shutting the door on his face.
You have had enough.
A third part is under construction
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ghost-bxrd · 11 months ago
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And now I'm thinking of talon!Calvin + reverse robins, in which Calvin is about the same age as Damian, or older, and was sent to guide Dick to kill his parent's murderer, as a begining of his talonisation, as killing does break you a lot, especially when you're already vulnerable, or pick slack if Dick can't kill Zucco, and allow him to join, despite falling the test of being capable of killing without electrium running in his blood, which would've made him the best Grey Son
Cue, Calvin clearly remembering being close friends with John Grayson, and being like wait this owling is my friend's, yes, he would be safer if he would be turned into the talon, but I can't let him be broken like I was, maybe I can just give him a shot of electrium without all that to protect him
Cue, while Calvin has a whateoido Bruce, who had his fair share of wild children, starting with his own blood son for crying out loud, adopting the kid
Omg Damian would hate Calvin. Like—- so much. (While Calvin would be largely indifferent and just ignore him. Which just makes Damian angrier lmao)
But the way I understand it, a dose of Electrum strong enough to make a difference on the human organism would have to kill them first! So Calvin would have this awful dilemma about wanting to make sure Dick can’t be hurt but having to kill him in the process. It would tear him up inside. Especially because the kid is so trusting and happy that he met someone who knew his parents well (and angry, yes. There’s also the anger. But there’s also joy still there despite it all. Joy over Calvin of all people.) He doesn’t even have to coax Dick away from the manor, he follows Calvin like a duckling the moment he mentions living in the circus with John and Mary for a time.
(Damian nearly has a heart attack when he goes to check up on the traumatized, angry boy that’s been living with them only shy of a month and finds him missing. The window wide open. No signs of forced entry, but a suspicious track of claw marks on the window sill (the moment Calvin realized just whose child Dick Grayson was) and a parliament of owls suddenly perching on the large oak tree a few yards away. And Damian doesn’t even care that Tim still hates his guts, or that Jason has school in the morning, or that Bruce is still stuck in a WE meeting— he mobilizes all forces to find Dick and bring him home.)
Meanwhile Calvin is screaming internally, perched between the spires of Gotham cathedral with an energetic little circus kid in his lap munching on a hotdog and asking questions about Calvin and the Graysons nonstop. And by the time Dick yawns and sleepily and nestles his head under Calvin’s chin, content to be in the presence of someone from the circus who was friends with his parents, Calvin realizes he can’t kill Dick. Not even temporarily. He can’t do that to him. He’ll just— he’ll just have to protect him himself. Make sure the Court never gets their claws on him. Ever. They get to have him over his thrice dead body.
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goginaporter · 2 years ago
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lyrical analysis of love you forever
or, breaking down ricky's love (confession) for gina
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we're a little under three months out from the series finale of high school musical: the musical: the series. I've spent those months freaking out over rina and appreciating the beautiful arc they got in s4 that closed out their story over the course of the series. there are a million special moments that rina has in s4 (I mean, a rain kiss? can I have this dance? a duet together about their commitment to each other despite uncertainty? we really got it all) but one definitely stands out among the rest. love you forever is ricky's declaration of love for gina that he sings to her at her press conference for her new movie that, as far as he knows, is about to send her across the world. this post is gonna be a line by line analysis of the lyrics, as well as talking about everything that brought them to that moment and that made it special. enjoy <33
I've been wishing on a falling star for too long
this line opens the song and is such a beautiful callback to when there was me and you, the song ricky all but serenades gina with in 1.06 (the lines it references: I thought you were my fairy tale / A dream when I'm not sleeping / A wish upon a star / That's coming true). wtwmay is a song that gabriella sings after troy's betrayal in hsm and when ricky sings this line, to me, it represents a callback to his past relationship with nini. he was holding on to nini and that relationship too tight, wishing on a falling star. as gabriella says, wishes on stars just "don't come true" and for ricky, this relationship ultimately ended in failure. however, as much as this line signifies the crash and burn nature of that relationship, it's also a reference to the start of his relationship with gina in that bunker room as he strummed on a guitar, in a similar fashion to love you forever, to these lyrics.
I've been running, I don't know what from
this line references the conversation that ricky had with ej in 4.05 when ej forces ricky to reckon with the fact that he runs away from those he loves when faced with hard realities and that this tendency hurts both those around him, but also hurts him. it's incredibly full circle when you pair this with the fact that ricky is singing the song on the guitar ej gave him after they sang speak out, where ej tells him that "you'll probably get more use outta this than me" (4.05). i think it's really cool that this line also references gina's similar character flaw of running when things get hard, which she also sings about in second chance (Maybe I'm safer when I'm on the run / No time to open up my heart / Maybe I'll hide behind my walls again / Instead of tearing them apart) (also important to note that second chance is non-digetic and ricky has never heard gina sing these lyrics). so fascinating that ricky and gina have the same habit of running, with ricky running back to things that are familiar and gina pushing forward to leave things in the past before they can hurt her.
But you and I've become a sacred kinda home
this is one of my favorite lines of the song, especially because this theme of finding a home is such a critical cornerstone for both ricky and gina's arcs throughout the show. ricky's home life in s1 turns on its head when he discovers that his parents are separating. pairing this with his breakup with nini nearly sends him into a spiral, but he finds a new home of sorts in the theater program, telling gina "it's just nice to have somewhere to go after school every day, y'know" (1.05), which she herself resonates with, affirming his feelings.
of course, at the beginning of s2, we find out that ricky and his dad are moving to an apartment after his mom moves out. this drastic shift, the loss of his childhood home, is again disorienting, and again paired with changes with nini, what with her moving to denver. in 2.02, he tells nini that she is his home, which is really interesting, placing that kind of pressure on her. but what's even more interesting is that he knows he's moving, knows from the beginning of 2.01, and yet nini does not find out about his new home until 2.03 on valentine's day, months later. this is juxtaposed to gina showing up to his apartment that same episode. it's especially special that ricky is placed in the same situation that gina typically faces, the unpacking and getting accustomed to a new space. it is those undertones that serve as the undercurrent for their conversation. the apartment is in disarray when gina arrives, and remains that way for much of the season. gina, however, is endeared by the messy environment of the apartment and jokes along with ricky to put him at ease. by the time we return to it in s4, it's (naturally) much more lived in, with clothes strewn about, pictures of gina, and aptly placed posters lining the wall of ricky's room.
as I mentioned earlier, ricky calls nini his home in s2. this line says that he and gina together have become a home of sorts for each other. singing this to gina is important for ricky, but it also speaks to the unpredictable nature of gina's childhood, where she moved from city to city, never staying in one place for more than a few months, which she tells ricky in 1.05. by the end of s1, we think that she has to move again, something that's harder for her now that she's made connections with the wildcats, namely with ricky. as we see in the flashback scene in 2.06, she tells ricky that she wouldn't quit on them if not for her move, that they would essentially remain close if she weren't leaving salt lake. of course, she doesn't leave and instead moves in with ashlyn. it's her first taste of stability that she can really remember, but as she tells carlos in 2.04, she feels out of place living in a house she doesn't own and with a family that isn't hers. these feelings culminate in gina wanting to leave, a subplot we see primarily in 2.05 and 2.06. after revealing to ashlyn what she said to ricky opening night of hsm, ashlyn sings home from beauty and the beast to gina, telling her that she has a home with ashlyn, not just physically, but within their friendship. there is so much symbolism in that one scene that we don't have time to get into but this moment definitely shifts gina's perception of what a home can look like. in s3, we learn that her mom is moving back to salt lake city where she'll be staying long-term to allow gina to complete her time at east high. in fact, it's in this very house that we get our first scene of rina in s4, with ricky sneaking into her window. one's room is a reflection of oneself, and ricky and gina are all over each other's rooms, both literally and figuratively, throughout the season. combining this with the connection between the two that only strengthens over the course of the season, it comes as no surprise that ricky sees his and gina's relationship as a sacred home.
I'm in love, I'm in love, I'm in love and I know it / No net, no fear, right here in this moment
my twitter account was littered with theories and thoughts and hopes for ricky's love confession to gina, but whether it was public or private, planned or spontaneous, the one thing that I knew I wanted was for ricky to say that he is in love with gina. so on august 9th when ricky got to the chorus of love you forever, tears started pooling in my eyes because the confession, which was already literally perfect, delivered my biggest wish. one of my favorite aspects of the song is how much it reflects their journey because these are all the words that ricky would tell gina in some big speech, evidenced by him practicing all throughout 4.07. but when it comes down to it, after references to moments between them and beautiful metaphors, it builds to him telling gina not only does he love her, but that he's in love with her. there's no doubt in his mind of this fact. the sky is blue, the sun shines, and ricky bowen loves gina porter. so much of ricky's love for nini was tied to fear, especially a fear of change. that his love for gina transcends fear, that he is confident in what he tells her both shows his growth in romantic relationships but also in how much gina has redefined what it means to love someone for him.
I've never been more sure of what I got, yeah / Cause this is so much more than puppy love, so
continuing with the theme of confidence, ricky tells gina that he's never been more sure of what he's got in their relationship. I know I'm bringing rini up a lot but that relationship is a perfect frame of reference for how much ricky has changed when it comes to love. both his singing of I think I kinda you know in 1.01 and his love confession to nini in 1.10, while genuine, are riddled with stuttering and uncertainty ("I think", "I don't know", etc.). when you compare the ricky of 1.01 and the ricky of 4.08 and how he attempts to use song to profess his love, the differences are stark, and that's the point. as he all but said in 3.08, everything he's known about love has been changed by gina and that is reflected in love you forever. I love the puppy love nod and think it's narratively important for so many reasons. for one, it's a reference to their first date, as well as to gina's childhood. in that vein, it seems to mirror what gina tells ricky in 4.02, that mack was a crush of her childhood. calling what they have "more than puppy love" also nods to their growth, not just over the course of the series, but even throughout the season. from dealing with scrutiny in the fallout of the documentary to gina's increasingly busy schedule to their temporary pause to gina nearly moving across the world, they've been faced with many problems, and while they didn't handle all of them perfectly, they handled them together and came out that much stronger.
I'll say it first, no matter what the cost / Here I am full heart, full stop / I love you
in 3.05, ricky talks to jet following the fallout of the real campers of shallow lake drama. he asks jet what he's running from and tells him that sometimes when feelings are hard to articulate, it helps to sing instead. with love you forever, we see ricky taking his own advice. I love that ricky is insistent that he tells gina "I love you" first, both because he wants to rectify mistakes from his last relationship, but also because gina says, in a talking head, that she doesn't want to be the first to say "I love you," (4.06) further cementing the connection that rina has. it also affirms that there is no doubt in either of their minds that they love each other and want to say it to each other. it's also important to note that ricky understands the risk of singing this song at this point in time. for all he knows, gina is about to board a plane that will be taking her to the other side of the world for six months. however, he sings this song, affirms his love for her, no matter the cost, because he just wants her to know. he loves her in salt lake, he loves her in new zealand, and he loves her forever. ricky sings that he is there with a full heart, full stop I love you. in an interview after s3's finale, tim federle, the showrunner, states that while nini will always have a small part of ricky's heart, gina has a way of making hearts race. this line, to me, symbolizes the notion that gina is his heart, that his love for her encompasses it. there's a beautiful analysis of ricky being gina's heart canonically that I think helps tie all of this together, establishing that gina is ricky's heart, just like he is hers.
of course, I would be remiss to not talk about the full stop of it all. as we see in a flashback in 4.06, ricky opens up to gina in their first meeting about how he struggled saying I love you to nini, his ex. after hearing this, gina presents him with a possibility you can tell he's never considered: "maybe you just don't love her, full stop." ricky stutters in response, but doesn't fully negate gina's statement, in fact telling her that he's "kinda" planning on telling nini through song later that night outside her window (ironic that this plan doesn't pan out for him twice in the show, both here and in 2.03). that he brings up this notion of full stop, where there's no room for doubt, in his confession for gina further proves how deep and real and true their love is for each other. super small thing before I move on but I love how "I love you" gets its own special moment of pause in the song to fully communicate the gravity of such a statement.
I never knew that I could feel so sure and so strong /How can three old words feel so brand new?
Again, this idea of being sure comes up again in this second verse/buildup to the chorus. ricky has done the love confession before. he's been in love before. but again, with gina, it's different. it's deeper, more strong, more secure. and so when he says these words, in a situation that mirrors his audition for hsm, of course it feels different. in that auditon, he was singing nini's words back to her. love you forever, in contrast, is all ricky. those three words do feel new because now he's singing them to gina and for gina, where previously he sang them for himself. also a really cool note about the parallels between ricky's audition and love you forever is that tim federle released the initial script for love you forever, and one of the descriptions writes that ricky "launches into the audition of a lifetime." this song, this confession, is the start of his forever with gina. of course these words feel new.
Mm, so rare, so real right here in this moment / And I'm starin' at the only thing I want, so
I tear up hearing ricky say that the love that he has for gina is both rare and real. both ricky and gina, at different points throughout the show, cast doubt on love. ricky says in a talking head in 1.01 that love is dead (fun fact: ricky is wearing the same denim jacket from that talking head during love you forever teehee). gina, in the 4.06 flashback, calls love lame. their faith in love ebbs and flows throughout the show, but once they are together, there's no question. it's why ricky encourages the seblos reconciliation in 4.06 or why gina tells jet to confess his feelings for kourtney in 4.08. if they've found this beautiful love in each other, where they got a second chance on love in every sense of the words, why wouldn't they want that for everyone else, for the people that they love?
the second half of this lyric, of ricky "staring at the only thing he wants," is my absolute favorite line of love you forever. ricky's eyes are naturally drawn to gina in nearly every episode of the show, whether she's looking at him or not, whether they're speaking or not. even before he recognized those feelings in himself, we could see it because she was always the apple of his eye. this rings especially true during love you forever, where ricky does not take his eyes off of gina the entire song, except when miss jenn turns the lights on. gina is the center of his universe and who he has been drawn to since she entered his life. there was a tweet after s4 aired that stated that ricky looks at gina as though he's falling deeper in love with her every time and this line captures that.
I wanna finish what we started in the stairwell where we met
the bridge opens with this line and it's so fitting. to suggest that committing to loving each other forever is finishing what they started when they had that first conversation in the stairwell is so insane and will always make me spiral when I think about it. this line all but confirms that ricky and gina began to fall for each other in that moment. that their conversation in the stairwell is what catalyzed their respective character arcs also all but confirms that they're soulmates, that there was an invisible string that connected them, inexplicably tying their fates together forever.
I wanna live like I have never even heard the word regret
both ricky and gina have instances that they look back on and wish they had done things differently. gina says so explicitly in 2.05 when speaking to kourtney. she alludes to her goodbye to ricky after hsm's opening night, stating that it was something she wishes she could take back. in 3.06, ricky tells jet that he wishes that he didn't let color war gina slip through his fingers, suggesting that he would've done things differently if he were more cognizant of his feelings for her. ricky never wants to feel like that again, that he's missed his chance with gina due to fear. he wholeheartedly embraces his love for her because he knows what it was like to live without it and doesn't want to live in a world where gina isn't his reality.
I wanna scream what's in my heart and I won't ever take it back
ricky and ej's duet in 4.05 is about speaking your truth and speaking even when it's hard. the song even has a line about "screaming out." where in speak out, screaming out solicits no sound, ricky singing this line in love you forever is him being able to vocalize the feelings in his heart. he also commits to never taking these words back. his feelings for gina are eternal and everlasting. this is important for gina to hear because words have always been unreliable to her. people that she cares about, whether her mom or jamie or even e.j., have made verbal commitments to her at one point or another, and each one of them has later reneged on that commitment, whether intentionally or not. ricky can say these words, can say "I love you" to gina, because he's been saying it through his actions the entire show. gina doesn't always trust words, but she trusts actions. ricky has more than proven his love for her, and it's this continued declaration through his works that allows these words to ring true for her.
'Cause I love you feels a lot like high school and forever after that
I made this observation a couple weeks ago but this line is so fascinating. when the season first dropped and I heard the line, I was a tad confused. what does it mean for love to feel like high school? I was listening to the hsm3 soundtrack when it all clicked for me. in high school musical, the final song they sing in hsm3, the last line is "I want the rest of my life to feel just like a / High school musical" with this line, ricky is basically saying that he will love gina for the rest of his life. throwing in a hsm reference is also incredibly fitting given that they've just completed the first night of their run as troyella, further cementing their legacy as the troyella of the show. i love that, even when the bridge is repeated, ricky and gina are the only ones to sing these lines. when the bridge is sung for the third and final time, ricky and gina are now together on stage singing the words "I"m in love, I'm in love, I'm in love" to each other in between the lines of the bridge. the song closes with ricky singing "I love you feels a lot like high school" with gina singing "and forever after that." I love this ending for two reasons: ending the song with rina singing together re-emphasizes that they're in love, and in love together (for the first time), as tim mentions in an interview. I also love it because even as the wildcats join to sing the bridge near the end of the song, ricky and gina are the only people to sing the lines "I'm in love x3" and "I love you feels a lot like high school." even though their friends step in to sing some lines, ultimately, the song is a love song for gina, about gina, and that's why it ends with her. as tim (love how much I'm referencing him) mentioned in an interview, rina is the beating heart of the romance of the show, and their friends coming in to sing along to ricky's love song for gina fully solidifies this.
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bluiex · 2 years ago
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I got to pirates smp an hour late and then had to dip before the stream ended nonetheless I was watching Scar's POV and now I'm having Scarian thoughts.
Mostly spoiler free all I really share is a mention of Scar's faction.
-@scitties-enjoyer
---
Scar drops the anchor on his boat. It's not much now, but one day he'll have something grand, he's sure of it. He hops down onto the rocky shore and picks his way inland.
In hindsight, maybe a single knife was not the right weapon, but Scar doesn't have anything better. Yet.
Scroll, scroll.. where was- Ah
Scar spends more than a moment reading the piece of paper... 'return to the mainland with the head of the isle's monster for 300 gold'
Yep, that's a good deal. Hopefully.
Unless it's something really vicious in which case, Scar is absolutely being ripped off here. Goddamn inflation.
Again, all he has is a knife.
This is... fine, probably.
Scar can hear Jellie meowing from his ship "I'll be back before you know it!" He reassures his cat.
It takes hours. He scours the island at least twice, with no success.
Then he spots a cave he didn't notice before, stepping in to an animal den of some kind where... a bird creature is goring the wolves.
Yeah this is ... fine actually. Mhm, definitely fine. Definitely not terrifying.
It's even more fine when the creature looks up at the sound of Scar's presence, dark eyes locking with his before it scrambles back in fear, wings braced around itself as if that can possibly protect it from him.
Scar makes a reckless decision, carefully putting his knife down behind himself. He's not completely stupid, if the bird-thing makes a lunge for his knife, he's dead.
Scar had been expecting an animal, not something that had the intelligence of a human. And Scar knows what it feels like to be hunted - or, knew once - so in a moment of uncharacteristic gentleness he's opening his heart to this so-called monster.
"Do you understand me?" Scar asks, softly.
The creature flinches at the sound of his voice. So it's that bad...
"I was sent to bring back your head. But neither of us want that."
The thing curls tighter around itself.
"My name is Scar. If we play our cards right we can get the reward money without you getting hurt."
The bird hisses. Which is progress, in Scar's eyes.
"I know how you feel, I do. If you come with me- if you come aboard my ship, you'll be safer." Scar feels a little faint, thinking of how mercilessly some of the other pirates would no doubt have already slaughtered this bird in Scar's shoes. "You could be my bird! Every pirate needs a bird!"
---
It's three days back to the kestrels' tavern base of operations. Or, it should be. It ends up taking Scar around a week, because Grian - the bird creature has a name! - doesn't quite have his sea legs yet so they have to stop at this island and that island and then Grian has to hide from other pirates
.Grian had gotten washed up after they left the cave, and it turns out that he's completely adorable under all that blood and viscera. Scar thinks it's very unfair that he can't just spend hours watching Grian, and instead has to steer his little ship.
Grian spends his time on the boat playing with Jellie, and honestly it warms Scar's heart.
It's one such stop where Grian finally accepts more than the bare minimum of physical contact necessary from Scar. It's particularly cold that night, sleeping under the stars, and Grian huddles up to Scar for warmth, burying his face in Scar's hair.
After that, it's like a switch has been flicked in Grian's brain. He's constantly latched onto Scar's arm, or perched on top of his hats, or his shoulder, asking questions.
---
Insert continued falling in love here I've run out of traction. Anyway the quest loophole Scar had *worked* so they do get the reward money
OOOOH BROOO THIS IS SO CUTE. PIRATE SCAR TAKING A CONTRACT TO KILL A CREATURE
And it being birb Grian- AAAAH this is so good Scitties. I love it so VERY MUCH
It takes awhile for Grian to come out of his shell fully and start speaking to Scar- he's started with the physical touch and protectiveness because Scar's his flock now
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ohmyronpa-imagines · 1 year ago
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Hi I was the person who requested the Gundham x reader killing game AU awhile ago and I loved what you wrote.
Would I be able to request a Ryoma x reader one shot where the reader stops Kirumi from killing him…. if this is too specific I don’t mind if you do something else, I’m sure I’ll like whatever you write.😸
Here you go, anon! I'm glad you enjoy my work! Also, do y'all like my new icon? Made it myself! (Apologies for it being a little blurry haha!) -Mod Hajime
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Reader Saves Ryoma From Kirumi's Murder Attempt (x Reader)
It had all happened so quickly.
You had been having a hard time sleeping since Kaede’s execution and were aimlessly wandering around the academy.
Sure, it was dangerous, but you sincerely doubted that anyone was actively scouting for a random victim.
Unless you had become someone’s target.
A pit formed in your stomach at this idea and you immediately stepped away from the doors that led to a random classroom. Maybe going to your room was safer than being active at night. You rushed back to the dorms but paused when you heard a loud crack coming from a hallway. 
You turned the corner against your better instincts and froze. Kirumi was standing above Ryoma with some long pole, or was it a stick? What you did know was that Ryoma was unconscious and Kirumi was holding a possible murder weapon.
For some reason you didn’t run away to call for help. That’s what a smart person would have done.
But no, you ran straight into danger, nothing but adrenaline and an odd sense of justice fueling your once tired body. Kirumi barely had time to register what was happening by the time you slammed her into the ground.
She struggled against you, both of her eyes visible to you. The maid looked crazed and with an impossible surge of strength, she threw you into the wall. Your head bounced off the drywall and you grunted in pain.
However, when you saw Kirumi going near Ryoma’s unconscious (you hoped) self, the pain dulled and you staggered to your feet. You reached your hands out and shoved her to the ground. With a speed you didn’t remember possessing, you picked up Ryoma and hauled him over your shoulder before running away.
Your heart thrummed in your chest as you ran, leaping up flights of stairs to reach a destination that felt too far away. Was Kirumi following you? Did that even matter right now?
Eventually, after what felt like hours, you reached your dorm, flung the door open, and rushed Ryoma to your bed. You pulled his hat off, which was damp. When you removed your hand, you saw a messy smudge of pink on your fingers and palm alongside the disturbing scent of iron.
Stifling your gag, you checked his hair and saw what looked like a gash in his scalp. Luckily, you had gone into the nurse’s office, stolen a bunch of supplies, and stuffed them into your bathroom before this had happened.
You were hesitant to leave him, but after you finally checked if he was breathing, you rushed to your bathroom and grabbed supplies. Returning with a damp rag, gauze, and some kind of ointment, you got to work.
You really hoped that this wouldn’t make his wound worse.
By the time you finished, your hands were shaking and you were near passing out. You put your first aid things aside and crawled onto your bed, wrapping Ryoma in a layer of blankets and setting his hat on your nightstand.
In your sleep, you were hugging his cushioned body.
When you woke up, you realized that Ryoma was also awake, but he was as still as a statue. You looked down to see him red in the face but with his eyes wide open. Quickly, you asked if he was okay.
“Yeah. What happened? Wasn’t Kiru-” He cut himself off. You got out of bed and changed his bandages, happy to see his wound was minor and had scabbed during the night.
Even though you stayed silent, Ryoma could tell what you were thinking. “Don’t… Don’t blame Kirumi. What she did was out of love for the country.” You raised an eyebrow at this and asked him what he was talking about.
He explained as well as he could, but the obvious concussion was causing him to blank on some parts of information. He also mentioned random names and places that he didn’t recall. You brushed it off as a delusion from getting his head whacked.
But when he said why Kirumi picked him, you felt your heart squeeze painfully in your chest. What did he mean his life meant nothing? And why did his life mean everything to you?
“I’m only a shell of who I used to be. For a cause as noble as hers, it’d be pretty damn shameful to deny her request. So-” You pulled him into a gentle hug, tears threatening to fall from your eyes.
It was quiet except for your occasional sniffling as the two of you sat on your bed. After a minute, Ryoma decided to hug you as well, patting your back. He didn’t understand why you were crying. The killing game must’ve finally hit you after days of living in shock.
You parted from your hug and handed him his hat, apologizing for the blood. He shook his head, giving you the faintest hint of a smile. He put it back on his head and sighed.
Ryoma patted his pockets, rubbing his hat when he realized he was missing his candy cigarettes. You sat with him, keeping a close eye on him.
The sound of the Monokuma announcement blared through your ears and you both grumbled about that “damn bear”. 
You stood up and reached your hand out for him. He hesitantly took it and you left your dorm holding hands. He looked away from you and huffed, smiling to himself.
“I guess I’ve still got a ways to go.”
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helyiios · 1 year ago
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Gabriel in mi8 mocking Benji in front of Ethan. He knows a lot of stuff about Benji from the Entity. Imagine him mocking Benji's self-harm and maybe other personal things Ethan doesn't know about in front of Ethan.
Gabriel was rotting behind bars. It had taken Ilsa almost dying, Luther having to disappear for at least three months, Benji barely surviving frostbite in Antartica and Ethan jumping from a cliff on a motorbike, but at last, Gabriel was no longer free.
Which, all things considered, Benji should feel relieved about. Sadly, he doesn't. There's an odd pull at the back of his mind, a fear that it was not over—after all, even after London, Lane had come back, almost killing him. He'd learnt not to take jailing for granted.
More importantly, Gabriel had made a request, something odd in itself, anyway, to see him and Ethan, to, and he quotes, 'talk some things out,' which by the way, he thought was complete bullshit. He's still on his way, though, walking nervously down the IMF's large halls and cream coloured tiles, tugging slightly at the sleeves of his suit.
It was going to be fine, he thinks, you're not in danger. Ethan will be here, Gabriel can't harm you, it was going to be okay.
Ethan was also here, when Lane abducted you, a seething voice coos back at him, and he shakes it away.
Enough.
When he gets to the doors he notices that his friend was already here, running a hand through his hair (which has grown longer and thank God he hadn't thought of cutting it away just yet,) and smiling once he'd spotted the other man.
"Hey," he offers to him, a small smile curving his lips. "All good ?"
"Nervous," Benji admits, shrugging barely. "I think I liked him more when he was unconscious in the back of our truck."
"Isn't that the truth," Ethan chuckles lowly, but still raises his hand to gently grab his friend's shoulder, barely applying pressure there, "it'll be alright. Don't worry, it's not like he can do anything."
"I know. I'm just anxious like that."
"You can rely on me, yeah ?"
"Yeah."
They leave it at that, making their way to the cell, staying sat up straight as the curtain clicked open, revealing a very unkept and tired looking Gabriel staring back at them, sporting a beard and cuffs on his wrists. The glass that separates the three men does not make Benji feel safer.
There's a faint silence where they all breathe, glancing at one another, looking determined on Ethan's side, unsure on Benji's, and delighted on Gabriel's. Which was, in no way, a good thing.
"I see you've granted me of your presence," the latter says finally, voice more alike a chirp than anything else, "the IMF has a heart."
"What do you want ?" Benji forces out, his hands linked behind his back, fingers laced anxiously, "was a life sentence not fun enough ?"
"Of course not, Benjamin," Gabriel smiles, moving his attention to him, "I just thought that it would be interesting to...drop the masks, you know ? If we were to come clean, of course."
"There are no masks here," Ethan rebuts him, face commanding. "You're talking nonsense, and making us lose our time."
"Please," a laugh, "are you not interested in knowing the man who helped bring my AI down ? Knowing him more...deeply ?"
Benji shifts uncomfortably.
"I know what I need about Benji," his friend replies carefully, tone not betraying anything but disinterest. "You're bluffing."
"Oh, but I think that he's hiding a few many things from you, are you not, Benjamin ?" Gabriel retorts, locking their gazes mercilessly. "I'm not in a rush, unlike Solomon Lane was. I don't kill my preys, I play with them a bit, before engulfing them whole."
"Okay, mate," Benji snorts, "you're not," he raises his hands in air quotes, "engulfing shit. You're serving a life sentence. In hyper secure jails."
"Oh, do be careful, I can see your disgusting wrists when you raise your hands," the man grins, wolfish, pointing at him with a vague gesture of his arms. "Now, we don't want Ethan to see that, do we ?"
Benji's face visibly blanches, and he immediately drops his hands to his side.
"Leave Benji out of this," Ethan growls, forcing his own arm in front of his friend in a defensive stance, "I don't know what you're talking about."
"What I am talking about ? Why, of course, about his fun extracurri—"
"Quiet," the third man seethes, eyes barely slits with wrath, "shut the fuck up, understood ?"
That seems to take his friend aback.
"Benji," he starts, worried, "are you okay ?"
"I'm fine," he replies, fists shaking, "don't listen to him."
"What ? You haven't told your little friend how you like to slash your arms when you're upset ? You mean to tell me he's never seen you in short sleeves ? Because I have, and it's not pretty."
"PISS OFF !" Benji barks, taking a step towards the cell and banging on the glass wall, teeth bared, "how fucking dare you—"
Ethan's gone quiet, eyeing Benji like he'd just told him the world was about to collapse. His mouth hung slightly open, and his brows were raised in alert.
"You'd think I didn't know ?" Gabriel mocks him, eyes at the other's level, "I saw it all, with the Entity. I saw you in that shitty motel room doing lines of cocaine after a stressful mission, and I saw you cut your arms and thighs with that very ugly razor. I saw who you are, Benjamin Dunn," he continues, voice sweet as honey, sticking everywhere and leaving sugary traces, pretending like his words were not crude and cruel.
"Ethan, don't listen to him," Benji presses on, slamming his right fist on the wall, "Ethan."
"Is this true ?" the other agent can only ask, face falling completely, "Benji, do you—do you self-harm ?"
"You weren't fu—you weren't supposed to know," his friend frustratedly says, his body not facing him, "it's just—it helps me calm down."
"Benji, I don't think scarification has ever helped anyone calm down !" Ethan protests, voice raised in sheer alarm, "fuck, I—“
"I know what I'm doing, leave me be."
"No—Benji," he insists, "I had—I didn't know, I'm so sorry—“
"I don't need your pity !" Benji shouts back, finally turning to look at him, "what I do in my free time is none of your concern, alright ?"
"Not if it harms you !"
"What the fuck happened to bodily autonomy ?!"
"Benji, please ! I just—" Ethan closes his eyes, running a hand on his face, "fuck. And that makes you laugh ?" he says brutally, turning back to Gabriel, fuming, "you think this is laughing matter ?!"
"I think it's hilarious," the man replies, face twisted in a sick, disgusting smile. "You both make me laugh."
"I'll kill you," Benji furiously spits, "I'll fucking kill you."
"Like you killed Solomon Lane ?" Gabriel beams, before having the gall to look contrite, "oops. Another thing I shouldn't have said ?"
"You k—"
"Oh, piss off," the Brit cuts him off, anger directed at Gabriel, "you know what ? Sure. Sorry you've got to learn it that way, Ethan, but I got permission to put a bullet in Lane. There."
"Benji. I had no idea," Ethan flatly says, but he doesn't seem too fazed by it. If anything, there's a twinkle of interest shining in his irises. "I hope it felt liberating."
"D'you have other secrets you want me to spit out ?" Benji cackles, looking at the jailed man, "because I can go on for days. The—you think telling the world that I self-harmed is bad ? Wait until they learn about the rest. Huh ? You don't know what I'm capable of, Gabriel. The Entity saw what I did, but it'll never see what's up there," he smiles, and it's just as crooked, and horrifying, tapping his index next to his temple. "Fuck you, you hear me ? Go fuck yourself, you fucking nonce."
He pulls away from the glass, walking past Ethan in angry steps, the soles of his shoes echoing in the wide room. He slams the door on his way out.
"You'd be lucky to live another year," the agent seethes, shooting him a furious look. "You're a dead man."
He doesn't know if his words will actually be met with actions, but a little faith never hurt anybody. Soon enough he's out of the room as well, finding Benji sat on the floor, head on his knees and arms around his legs.
He's shaking.
"Benji," Ethan softly says, letting himself drop to his level, "hey. Benj."
"I don't want to see you," his friend mumbles, "I don't want your pity."
"I'm not pitying you. I'm—I'm worried."
"You think I'm disgusting."
"I'd never think that. Least of all of you."
"You won't be saying that when you see the shape of my arms and thighs," Benji humourlessly says, shaking his head. "Fuck. Of course he knew. God."
Ethan scoots closer, so close that their shoulders brush.
"Hey. I don't think any less of you. I'm just...I wish you'd told me," he mutters, voice soft. "You know you can talk to me, yeah ?"
"It's shameful enough to me, I didn't want you to know. You won't tell anyone else, right ?"
"Of course not, Benji. I won't tell a soul."
There's a sniffle, and then Benji's looking back to him, and Ethan kind of hates himself for thinking that the blue and gold of his eyes shone even brighter on red retina.
"I'm sorry for not telling you about Lane. I'm—I'm sorry."
"None of that," his friend whispers back, circling his shoulders with his left arm, pulling him against him, "I'm just surprised, I suppose. Who gave you carte blanche ?"
"Hunley."
"Ah...of course. Does Brandt know ?"
"Only if Hunley let it drop during one of their gross sex times," Benji shoots back, a hesitant smile forming on his lips.
"Ow, too far, Benj !"
"Sorry," he laughs, wiping the tears away. "Sorry. I—I actually was thinking of going to see one the IMF's psychiatrists. About—about the scarification ? And—and the PTSD. I guess."
"I think it's a brilliant idea, Benji," Ethan softly says, letting his fingers brush against the soft curls. "You're right, I'm sure it'll help."
There's a pause, something where it seemed like the other was about to say something but didn't, and the silence floats above them for a few seconds.
"Would you—" a cough, "would you mind, huh. Coming with me ? At the first appointment."
"With you ?"
"I haven't seen one since London. With, huh, Lane. I'm—I guess what I'm saying is that I'm scared," Benji mutters, looking down. "I'd like to have someone come with me. Not in the actual, huh, room, but, like. Being with me until it's time for the meeting. You don't have to say yes, actually it's silly, forget about i—“
"I'd love that," Ethan smiles back, letting his forehead rest on the crown of Benji's hair. "If you think it could help, then yeah. With pleasure."
"You mean that ?"
"And more."
Benji's face finally breaks into a beaming smile, and Ethan's heart finally starts beating good again.
"Okay," he whispers, like it was their own little secret. "Thank you, E."
"Thank you for trusting me, Benj."
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exouniverse · 2 years ago
Text
Serendipity
Pairing: jimin x gn reader
Genre: fluff, birthday fic
Warnings: none
Summary: A blind date on his birthday—at first glance an unusual choice for a global star like Jimin. But deep within, a tugging intuition he couldn’t deny stirred, as though destiny had plans beyond reason’s grasp.
Word count: 4.9K+
A/N: This one got a little out of my hands with the words lol. My initial idea was to make the birthday fics of about 1K but the premise of this fic needed these many words, otherwise it would have been too basic. Also, I struggled at the beginning with making this one a non-idol au or not, but I went with this and that also made the story what it is now. I just couldn’t gift this to a non-idol au Jimin lol. Happy birthday, Jimin!
Listen to Serendipity, It’s All Love, Honey, and Let Me Know for a better experience.
MASTERLIST | MOODBOARD
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The numbers on your watch changed as soon as you entered through the door of the café, showing 6:39 p.m. You almost didn't make it, and you were now torn between indifference and feeling embarrassed for almost ditching your date. Frankly, you've grown weary of your relatives and friends arranging so many unwanted dates for you. You weren't sure anymore, but if you do happen to want to date someone at the moment, you would prefer it to unfold more organically rather than on a blind date.
As late as it was, you still stopped to scan through the customers for a face that could give you any hint of an average desperate weirdo, in case it felt safer to just run away. Not many people seemed to frequent the shop, so you briefly checked your cousin Jon's message that indicated the specific café section where your date would be waiting. The place exuded an air of elegance and seclusion with such minimalistic style, as if designed for the elite, maybe a reason why it looked quite empty. However, it was the fact that your meeting spot was tucked away in the back that heightened your anxiety.
You relied on your trust in your cousin—even when he knew nothing else but teasing you all the time since you could remember. After all, you knew him to have a thoughtful soul beneath all of his façade. He is the only one who understands your frustration with blind dates and how bad they have been for you in the past. On the sole occasion he happened to arrange a blind date for you before, he did it just to humor your family with what they required from you so persistently.
Your date's name sounded nice, at least. You decided to count on that first impression to convince yourself to make your way towards him after you confirmed the exact place where he awaited your arrival. As you reached him, you noticed he was busy with his phone. Seizing the opportunity, you took a moment to observe him. But just as your footsteps neared, he glanced up, catching you off guard. At last, you had the chance to take in his face, and a little spark ignited right inside your heart. His eyes were like the sweetest honey, yet deep and playful.
Your knees turned to jelly when he stood up and bowed, showing you that smile that could probably light up the darkest corner of the universe. His eyes continued to make your heart sprint as they formed two crescent moons over his reddened cheeks.
"Hi, Y/N-ssi?" he spoke up, and the echo of his voice found a place in your mind. You didn't leave, so he continued after he wiped away the little bit of sweat forming on his hands, "I'm Park Jimin; it's nice to meet you!"
You took your seat in silence, barely even conscious that you were doing it. How could it be the Park Jimin from BTS? Was there a possibility that it was his impersonator? No way—his voice, his eyes, his lips, his hands... it was undeniably him.
"I promise to make this date fun; you can trust me?"
You nodded.
"So, first blind date?" he asked, but you were still not even opening your mouth. "First-timer here..." he tried to start up any conversation. "Sorry, I probably am not what you expected."
"No, yes, no, sorry," you blurted out. "I am so sorry."
You had to at least take a sip of water, and thank goodness you already had one served in front of you. How could Jon not say specifically which Park Jimin was the blind date with? His name is so common that it never crossed your mind. It was a friend of a friend of your cousin, not this Park Jimin. Your clown of a cousin had never been this cool to think he could have met Park Jimin or even know someone who knows him.
Your cousin has made a name for himself as DJ Young, and he surely knows a lot of people, but you couldn't fathom the fact that one of those people could be the person you are seeing smiling at you from across the table.
"You're really my cousin's friend's friend?"
"Yeah, I am, I met—"
"This is... crazy... I guess now I get why no one showed me a picture of you." A giggle escaped you after all the calmness you managed to gather.
He was nervous too. It must have been scary to agree and even come to a date without even having seen the likeness of the person you were having the date with, so he empathized, "I'm sorry if that caused you to put your guard up. I guess that explains why it seemed that you were not going to make it."
"No, I'm sorry! Well, to be honest, I'm not a first-timer. Blind dates are just too weird and exhausting most of the time. The people around me push me too much into them because I... sorry, I get to overshare when I'm nervous."
"Oh, you're nervous?" he wondered and raised his eyebrow.
"Yeah, you're a little intimidating—not that I am uncomfortable, just really nervous..." you took a deep breath before you continued, "I really don't know what to say and I'm totally messing this up."
"No, you're not. It's cute." The last two words were almost a whisper, but you did hear them. You chugged the water in your glass, only making him chuckle.
"Let's start again; do you agree?" he suggested. Something about you made him feel at ease.
"Yes, that'd be great!"
He smiled again and waved at you. "Hi, I'm Jimin!"
"Hi, I'm Y/N!" Another nervous giggle escaped you, but at least this one was more controlled and really just due to the silliness of the repeated introduction. Surprisingly, he joined in on the laughter.
You got lucky that the waiter only came after the initial awkwardness had subsided, so you calmly made your order. It was surprising the vast options that the menu offered, but you did manage to decide quickly as your favorite dessert was displayed as a specialty.
A little chitchat between the two of you began soon after the waiter left to get your order. All about the same standard of weather talk. It was only when the drinks and desserts arrived that the conversation started to deviate from the predictable and become more engaging.
"Oh, that's a cute bear on your coffee; is it chocolate?" Jimin asked.
"I don't want to kill it, but it must be tasted," you joked as you felt more comfortable, making him chuckle. As you bit into the soft bear candy, a chocolatey coffee flavor filled your mouth. It had a dash of fruity flavor you couldn't recognize, but it was delicious.
Jimin looked expectantly, which brought a smile to your face. "Would you like the rest?" you offered.
He stopped to think and shook his head, but you still put the last piece of the candy bear on his plate. He smiled at you and hesitantly grabbed the little candy bear’s paws and tasted it. His eyes widened, and he chewed faster. "That was good; was that raspberry? It reminds me of the chocolate we had last year when we went on this trip with your cousin," he reminisced.
This fact sparked curiosity within your thoughts, "come to think of it, how did you end up meeting my cousin?"
"Oh, I’ve known him for about four years now? But the trip was a year ago, around my birthday, when he helped produce one of my songs."
You didn't even taste your drink for how shocking it was to hear something so different from what you know, "wasn't he backpacking through Europe?"
"No? He didn’t tell you?" Jimin got a tiny bit tense. He wouldn't want to cause any issues between you and your cousin just because of NDAs regarding his projects.
Your merry-go-round mind was too fast over this new information, but it stopped when a tiny detail suddenly filled your thoughts: "around my birthday." You gathered up your index of facts about Park Jimin and checked the date on your phone.
"Jimin-ssi, our date, today... it is your birthday, isn't it?"
The gleam in his eyes revealed how caught off guard and surprised he was, and the blush on his cheeks just added to his charm as his nervous chuckle resonated in your ears, leaving you smitten.
"You... yeah, it is. How did you realize?"
"Oh, it was hard to discover it, but I managed," you teased, "but I'm curious... why are you having a blind date with me on your birthday, of all days... of all people?"
"I have to admit, I'm surprised you realized that about me so quickly. Even knowing you're a fan... it's really reassuring to know someone cares enough to remember all those little details," he expressed, appreciating your attentiveness.
He paused and shifted in his seat to get more comfortable. The fondness in his eyes didn't escape you, but it only made you more eager to know what he hid behind his decision.
"To answer your question... and it has to do with your cousin, so I hope he doesn't kill me when I reveal to you all of his secrets," he laughed nervously.
You giggled and took a bite of your dessert to settle for the story that Jimin was about to tell you.
"Uh... well, over the past years, we have always talked about collaborating since he wanted to start producing. Last year, we did," he recounted.
"I had a set of demos we were looking through, and there was one song I really liked but couldn't quite figure out. He looked through the lyrics and told me they reminded him of you. He is a real good talker, so I kinda know a lot about you too," he joked, lightening the mood with a playful tone.
He got you to laugh so easily, prompting you to ask, "so you're my fan too?"
"Nice one!" he laughed along with you.
He grabbed a bite of his dessert before he continued his story, "you know, I remember you calling him once when we were in the studio. I didn't overhear, I swear. However, he really wanted to produce that song after your call."
"What was the song about? If you can share..."
Jimin was hesitant. He remembered the song not being cheery when it came to lyrics. You could feel his indecision, and now you weren't sure if it was okay to ask.
"I could, um, share. It's just... the lyrics weren't... happy?" he revealed. "Your cousin, however, switched it up with some arrangements and made it quite upbeat, more empowering if that makes sense."
You smiled, knowing in your heart that you had healed tremendously after so long. "I see, Jon needs some explanation to do though," you both chuckled.
Now, your curiosity was piqued by another detail, and you couldn't help but ask, "so how, why did you accept—"
"The date?" He smiled and paused.
"It was a few months ago... your cousin mentioned setting us up very casually, almost like joking even, and I surprisingly accepted. I don't really have an explanation as to why I did... something about it just felt... right. I was intrigued by you because of that song and the little bit your cousin mentioned about you. That might give you a better idea. Coincidentally, my birthday was the only day I could spare some time, and my friends were not all going to be around, so we planned on celebrating later. That's why..." he trailed off, offering an explanation for his decision.
He finally understood the magnetic pull that drove him to accept a blind date with you. He thought it was his intuition whispering "why not?" The idea of meeting this mysterious person appealed to his adventurous spirit. However, as he looked at you now, he saw the answer in your face. Your eyes radiated wonder, empathy, and strength. You appeared to be the epitome of honesty and genuineness, surpassing any expectations he had formed in his hopeful imagination. He couldn't help but feel a tinge of guilt for having the advantage of knowing about you beforehand, having seen your picture when all you had was his name and your trust in your cousin.
"That's more than enough reason for me. I'm flattered you accepted," you smiled warmly. Jimin couldn't help but notice the subtle shyness in your expression, which you attempted to conceal behind your drink.
He was about to say something, but you completely derailed his train of thought with your subsequent suggestion, causing him to forget what he was about to say.
"Let's celebrate your birthday!" you exclaimed, your enthusiasm infectious. "I understand we probably can't do much outside, but we can do whatever you want, or can. You deserve to celebrate on your actual birthday."
"Oh, I don't really know... I got caught off guard a bit there," he responded, a little taken aback by your selfless suggestion. He liked it though, it just confirmed everything he already knew about you.
As he pondered for an answer, you tried to ease him into his decision, "just clear your mind; what's the first thing—"
"How about the beach?" he suddenly said.
"The beach? Well, I think we can manage... just—" you stopped, trying to think of how the logistics could go and if it was safe to be in such a public place. "A beach is quite public... although I can find a place less crowded, it takes at least an hour to get to the closest ones from here."
"Well, from Seoul, an hour isn't so bad, especially with good company," he said warmly. "There can be a lot of people at the beach, but we can take some precautions. Although annoying at times, they work quite well. And don't forget, I'm from Busan; I'd do anything for a little beach trip," he encouraged, keeping an upbeat, optimistic tone.
He got you enthused about the trip. It was his wish, after all. "Alright, then let's do this!"
The next ten minutes were spent organizing the spontaneous trip Jimin wanted to embark on. None of you had ever ventured into such an out-of-the-blue plan before. During the brainstorming and preparation for your trip, you both realized that you shared a preference for planning before any adventure. His caring nature was evident in the way that he offered his car, but he still considered your preferences in case you were more comfortable using your own car. However, your plans before the date didn't include meeting Jimin and taking him to the beach for his birthday, so you took the metro after work.
Jimin skillfully navigated along Olympic Road as the two of you left Itaewon. In a moment of connection, you decided to share your favorite playlist with him. To your delight, you discovered that you both coincided with many of your favorite artists.
"Oh, please, play ‘Honey.' That is one of my favorites of Kehlani," Jimin requested after finding out your love for the artist.
You giggled at his liveliness. "Of course, right in the queue," you announced while searching for the song.
Jimin was so serene listening to your choice of music. He paid close attention to the rest of Jimmy Brown's ‘It's All Love' and took a second to look at you while he was driving. You looked so beautiful to him. He couldn't fathom how someone could hurt someone so sweet. You caught him looking at you. Surprised by the gesture, your cheeks heated up, and you could only chuckle quietly. He looked back at the road, smiling, with his heart full of warmth.
"So, should we get the regular rest area food or look for something different?" you asked after a while of contemplating both the scenery and the music you both shared with each other.
"Mmm... I think I'm really craving rest area typical food. It's been a while since I had Sotteok Sotteok," Jimin made his vote quite decisively.
"We can still get some fruit too and balance our dinner, but I do want to indulge a bit too and get ice cream," you confessed.
"Okay, I'm in for the ice cream too, but can I pick the fruit?"
"Yes, you can, Jimin-ssi." You noted on your list that he would pick the fruit.
"Can we talk informally?" he casually asked.
"Are you sure?" you asked curiously. Jimin only nodded enthusiastically since he had to make a turn to finally bring you two to the Yeongjong Bridge Rest Area.
You gazed at him in awe. He was so genuine and funny. You never expected to start feeling this way about him, but he made it so easy. You must have done something right in your past life to be granted this chance to not only meet someone as talented and admirable as Jimin, but to truly understand the kind of person he is. It's unbelievable that this understanding came about not through any other circumstance but a blind date. You had despised them so much for so long, and yet this one, in particular, has brought you so much unexpected joy and appreciation.
"Do you think you'll get recognized?" you wondered. "I can go for the snacks by myself while you stay here, and then we go fill up the tank together."
"I think we're safe. I can wear a beanie and a mask to blend in just a bit, but if anything happens, we can find a way to get back to the car," Jimin alleviated your concern. Yet, you were a little startled when he approached to get something from the storage compartment.
"Beanie or cap?" he asked, looking up at you, not at all serious, as his grin was the widest you had seen on him.
You took a second to get some composure and said, "I'll take the beanie, you take the cap." You grabbed the beanie from his hand, feeling a warm sensation as your fingers lightly brushed against his.
The look that crossed both of your gazes connected the beat of your hearts in flawless unison with your smiles.
"That is a great idea," he could only whisper the words.
The walk towards the rest area's shops was a tiny bit tense. You didn't know what to do with your hands, and Jimin didn't know if he should walk along a little bit closer or keep some distance. The butterfly nerves caught up in both your cheeks, but luckily your masks concealed them. The sight of the enormous bear statue at the rest stop momentarily distracted you from your wandering thoughts, bringing you back to the present. Although it wasn't until Jimin noticed someone stumbling ahead that he gathered the courage to reach out and hold your hand.
"Careful," he whispered, "looks dangerous up ahead."
You felt so comfortable somehow that if there was any agitation for the sudden motion, the spark that lit up in your eyes burned it away.
Just the right amount of people were around for you to blend in easily with the crowd, as everyone enjoyed their time with their own families and friends. Hand in hand, you effortlessly reached the convenience store to grab your snacks. It seemed none of you wanted to let go because you headed in the same direction towards the ready-to-eat items.
"Sandwich or Samgak Gimbab?" You asked.
"Oh, the Gimbab, for sure!" He replied.
After some debates on what to buy, you decided to buy some chips and Jimin’s favorite Homerun Ball. You also indulged further and bought a couple of matcha red bean buns that looked and smelled delicious. Next, you looked for the Sotteok Sotteok for Jimin and decided to buy the ice cream too, intending to enjoy it there before hitting the road again.
It was almost serendipitous that, as you reached the second floor, you stumbled upon the Slow Mailbox. The enticing aroma of coffee from the nearby shop could have easily distracted you, but Jimin pointed towards the area and remarked, "that looks fun."
"Do you think it works?" you asked as you giggled.
"Well, we'll only know a year from now," he shrugged.
"Let's do it! What's knowing what you think of our unbelievable outing until a year later?" you joked.
"I could tell you now," he teased.
You pulled him towards the mailbox, and said "aaah, c'mon, Jimin. Not a word; let's just write it all down."
You purchased your postcards and then sat closely together, enjoying your ice cream as you wrote down everything you had both experienced since the blind date at the café. It has been a magical ride for the both of you, but the most exciting part is that it is far from over. The promise of celebrating Jimin’s birthday at the beach still remained, and now there’s a new expectation with the letter you’ll receive next year on this same date. You might feel too hopeful to think that you will still be in touch with him after all that time, but hope had to be the last remaining sentiment in your heart when you felt such a powerful connection pulling you towards him.
For Jimin, it had also been a magical day. He had come to the date with an idea of you that he needed to somehow affirm. Your cousin had told him you had gone through a lot with the pressures of the world on your shoulders, and he empathized. Creating that song that never even saw the light and he regretted it so much gave him so much insight and hope for you, as well as a desire to truly know you. Words failed to describe how he was feeling in that moment, after everything had fallen into place so incomparably, and yet he had to write it all down so you could find out about it in a year. He really wanted to tell you straightaway, but the hope of still being around you after a year couldn't be jinxed.
"I can write my address on your letter," you proposed once you finished, "you write yours on mine, and we still keep it a little more private."
"That sounds good," he said, briefly looking at you while still writing, and once he finished, he looked back and said, "thank you for thinking so much about my privacy; you didn't need to in any moment, but you still do, and I appreciate it tons."
"I was supposed to know until next year," you teased, making him laugh. "Now c'mon, let's get these letters into the mailbox." This time, you grabbed his hand to lead him to the big red box on the wall.
You put your postcards in the mailbox at the same time, sharing kind looks before you said, "welcome, Jimin! I wouldn't want to cause any trouble."
"You don't," he simply responded.
With the ice cream finished and the snacks bought, the only remaining item on your to-do list was to reach Angel Rock, so you made your way back to Jimin's car easily enough.
"If you don't mind, can I drive now?" you asked as you came closer to where his car was parked.
Your confidence and initiative thrilled him, making him nod as soon as you finished your question. He took the bag you were carrying with the fruits he picked and gave you his car key.
"Keep playing your playlist; I'll switch to mine whenever you want," Jimin said once inside the car.
"You can switch after this song," you accepted as you turned the volume up to yet again Jimmy Brown, now with ‘Let Me Know.'
Switching between R&B, pop, and even some old classics, Jimin curated the perfect playlist to set the mood for the remainder of the trip. You enthusiastically sang along as you continued on your way, occasionally catching Jimin's gestures as he pointed out airplanes flying in the increasingly starry sky.
Jimin received a message from Jon while you were getting closer to Wangsan Beach. He giggled and showed it to you while you waited at a stoplight.
Young: Yo how's the date?
You playfully rolled your eyes but still laughed along with Jimin.
"What should I reply?" he asked.
"Let's send an audio message," you suggested, despicably.
"Oooh, what are you gonna say? I'm intrigued; I like how you think, Y/N."
As the light turned green, you grinned at Jimin mischievously. "Let's give him a little scare; just wait ‘til we get to Angel Rock."
"Ooh I'm excited!" he exclaimed, getting comfortable in his seat to await the teasing you were plotting.
Only five minutes later, you finally reached the public parking lot near the beach. A few cars were parked there; it seemed enough for a Friday night, so at least the beach was not going to be too crowded. Glancing back at Jimin, you noticed his eager anticipation, prompting a laugh from you at his excitement.
"I can't concentrate looking at you," you said between giggles.
Jimin was so caught up in the mood that you two had a little moment just laughing before he grabbed his phone and opened the conversation with your cousin, handing it to you.
"Play along," you grinned, hitting record.
Clearing your throat dramatically, you started, "It's been awful; Jimin is soooo boring! All he does is talk about himself. Where did you find this Hongdae foam-brained guy?"
Jimin burst into giggles, snorting with delight at your theatrics. "My turn, my turn!" He took the phone, adopting a pleading tone. "Jon, hyung, Y/N won't stop speaking in weird accents. Is your cousin a clown? Oh no, a magic trick now?"
You chuckled, playfully shoving Jimin's arm. This was such a new development between you two. It warmed you up to see him joining in your shenanigans, all without judgement.
Jimin hit send, but you still wanted to send your cousin some nice message "Can I?" you asked for his phone back.
Jimin handed it to you, expecting more pranks from you. You hit record once more, "no, Jon. It's been amazing," you sincerely said, "but you'll probably get the details until next year," you joked again, catching his gaze on yours.
Jimin laughed yet again, his heart warmed by the sight of you growing even more at ease in his presence. "You agreed, so don't joke about it," he protested playfully.
"Anyway, I'll let Jimin update you on it when you celebrate with him. It's my turn today after all, thanks coz!"
"It really has been amazing, huh?" Jimin commented without intending to get it on the audio, but you pressed send a little after.
You nodded. "Are you ready for your wish to come true? Let's hit the beach now."
Jimin kept his cap but left his mask behind. Same as you; Jimin's beanie was still on your head, feeling almost like it were yours. You walked across the street to the beach, looking for a place to set up your picnic. It could've been luck or fate, but Jimin happened to have a blanket in his car that he had bought recently but forgotten to get it out.
Jimin had immediately taken his shoes off as soon as he touched the sand; he carried yours too, so you got in charge of spreading out the blanket on the sand when you reached a more secluded side of the beach where fewer campers were around. Every action between the two of you seemed to flow in perfect harmony as you arranged the snacks to enjoy together. Jimin couldn't resist and wasted no time biting into the Sotteok Sotteok. You watched with amusement, captivated by his enthusiasm, as you engulfed the matcha red bean bun.
The sound of gentle waves crashing against the stones further eased you two into the evening. Feeling adventurous, you even dared Jimin to join you in the water. You had played it out so perfectly that he believed you when you reassured him that the water wasn't too cold. His face was hilarious, but he stayed, braving the chill and even splashing water at you. You threw water back at him, but the splashes stopped there since you two got even colder.
Realizing how cold you were, you hurriedly returned to your designated spot and grabbed your coats as soon as possible. As you were getting settled, Jimin whispered, "you know, penguins huddle close together to keep warm," playfully suggesting the idea of getting even closer. Yet, he pulled up a shy smile to try to conceal the fact that he had just poured his heart out.
You couldn't help but melt, looking at him with doe eyes because of the cute way he just asked you to be close to him. Silently, you just moved towards him and smiled.
"Let's not get our feathers any wetter; it's super cold now," you whispered too, trying to ease the tension.
The two of you found warmth and calm as you cuddled and watched the starry night sky merge with the ocean. The shimmering, waning moon, radiating its gentle light, looked exceptionally beautiful. You allowed your head to rest on Jimin's shoulder, cherishing the serene moment together.
"I know we're not supposed to know until next year, but small spoiler alert... I've had an amazing time with you," you confessed and looked up at him, smoothly connecting your gaze with his. A bright smile adorned your face as you continued, "and also... happy birthday Jimin. You deserve so much joy, and I hope you find it every day."
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Epilogue
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frozen-orbit · 11 months ago
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Some of my favorite lyrics from my Renegades playlists that i associate with Nova:
"Don't you call me a coward traitor." - Partisano, Miguel Bosé
"I am not a child now, I can take care of myself. I musn't let them down now." - I'll try, Jonatha Brooke
"I'd be starving if I ate all the lies they fed." - Get it together, India.Arie
"I don't know where to go. What's the right team?" - Scream, HSM3
"I don't trust nobody and nobody trusts me. I'll be the actress starring in your bad dreams." - Look what you made me do, Taylor Swift
"I don't wanna fight alone anymore, break me out from the prison of my own pride. My God, I need a hope I can't deny. In the end I'm realizing I was never meant to fight on my own." - On my own, Ashes Remain
"I feel just like an actress up on the stage, I can't believe what I'm hearing myself say." - Say Goodbye, Katharine McPhee
"If I could go back and change the past, be a little braver than I had and bet against the odds, would I still be lost? Even if I woke up in my dreams, would there still be something I'm missing?" - Wondering, Julia Lester feat. Olivia Rodrigo
"If I could show them everything I've seen, open their eyes to all the lies, then would they change their minds like I did?" - This Wish, Wish
"I know what I came to do and that ain't gonna change. So go ahead and talk your talk cause I won't take the bait." - Focus, Ariana Grande
"I'm afraid of the things I don't say, the thoughts in my head that keep me tossing, turning, lying awake." - Low, Wage War
"I'm more than what you've made of me. I followed the voice you gave to me, but now I've gotta find my own." - Listen, Beyonce
"In darkness I've walked by relying only on the shining star. I know I've been walking this way based on my will and choice, but I keep looking elsewhere. Are these my lingering feelings? I know it shouldn't but I'm afraid that it will turn into regrets." - TMT, Stray Kids
"In youth, you'd lay awake at night and scheme of all the things that you would change." - Warriors, 2WEI feat. Edda Hayes
"I've seen you before, you all are the same, you're just another going up in the flames. And if I'm dying in the fight, it'll be while I'm bringing you down to the grave." - Enemy, Tommee Profitt
"Love to watch all the stars when they align. Come alive, I don't ever take a night off." - Miracle, WayV
"Maybe I'm safer when I'm on the run, no time to open up my heart. Maybe I'll hide behind my walls again instead of tearing them apart." - Second chance, HSMTMTS
"Now there's blood in my hands. Guess we're one and the same." - Interlude, Stormzy
"Only got one shot, I’m a one-girl army." - Do or Die, AleXa
"Should I question every move I make?" - Bet on it, HSM2
"So I had this dream. It meant everything, and I watched it come alive. Then I let you in, underneath my skin, and I learned to love the lies. Now I lay awake and I contemplate, have I become what I hate? Can I take it back? 'Cause it's all I have. Will it get the best of me?" - Bow down, I prevail
"They say that I must learn to kill before I can feel safe." - In the shadows, The Rasmus
"Whatever they say, I’m not guilty. Yeah, I’m a bad hero." - Villain, AleXa
"You still don’t really know me. People might think I’m a nice girl but they don’t know the real me." - BEcause, Dreamcatcher
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hosannan · 1 year ago
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@boundlesschaos asked:
[garden] Though the garden holds a magical sense of wonder, it is, by all intents, safer than the labyrinth-like maze of plants that graced the ball last year. Still, the quiet atmosphere that comes from the open space is a welcome one by Niamh. It's the perfect place to rendezvous when she's run out of steam attempting to socialize. As she takes note of the various shapes and colors of the flowers throughout the garden, her eyes meet with another. At first, thought to be a stranger - but no, Niamh knows this person, doesn't she? This manages to net a soft laugh from her. "...what are the odds, meeting someplace like this?" With the sounds of the party drowned by the closed doors, she's able to listen to the wind as it brushes pass the flowers, and weaves through the strand of hair that Niamh's purposely left loose. It's a nice change of pace from the rowdy partygoing that's happening on the other side. And, on top of that; "...I'm wearing gloves this time..." Niamh says, showing off the gloves to make a point. Maybe this time, she won't immediately need some first aid.
Nanna gasped, hand flying up as her heart leapt to her mouth. "Ah! Ahhh! It's been so very long, Niamh!" Clutching her chest, she began to sprinkle the flowers with a pitter-patter of laughter. "Hahaha! Oh my goodness, you're quite right, this should be odd, should it not?" They are no longer the size of a thumb, nor are the flowers a daunting bell tower above them. But as the wind sends the field of flowers into an ocean of waves, Niamh feels like the right figure to part them.
"But when I look at flowers, I do also think of you."
She giggled, holding up one hand, fingers parsed like a flower. No gloves on her own. "Should I be the one that's careful this year?"
Pulling up her heavier, curtaining skirts, Nanna made her way to close their space down the middle. The slight draft encircles them both, pushing the flowers into a soft ebb and flow. "Can you believe that it has been a year? And now the theme suits your mask perfectly..."
She leaned over to pluck a flower and rest it in the girl's hair. Her fingers gently skim the ridges of the girl's mask, which to her surprise, remained the same. Year in and year out.
Nanna usually loves to keep a good secret. But for once, because she knew Niamh's mask like it was her friend's own face, she thought it wouldn't hurt to make the sentiment mutual. Pulling her mask out from her purse, she held it up over half her face and closed her eyes. A smile runs deeply on her lips. "Do you like it? Now I'm like you, too!"
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voxiiferous · 1 year ago
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🎶 (for Vox and Maria) and 🎶 (for Hellaina, Dia and Maria :3) I know it's the wrong blog for the second one but stiiiill
@do-these-eyes-look-human | No worries it works! Unintentionally angsty because that's what 90% of my music is!
Vox & Maria
Happiness Is A Warm Gun - Across the Universe
She's not a girl who misses much She's well acquainted with the touch of the velvet hand like a lizard on a window pane The man in the crowd with the multicoloured mirrors on his hobnail boots Lying with his eyes while his hands are busy working overtime A soap impression of his wife which he ate and donated to the National Trust
Turning Out - AJR
Am I ready for love? Or maybe just a best friend Should there be a difference? Do you have instructions? Maybe I'm stuck on what I see on TV
April to Death - Flower Face
And he's smoking out the window every morning While I get high in the bathroom We're always on the upswing, baby Phosphines in our starry eyes today April to our deathbed We're always on the upswing, baby He's got a new girl, and I'm sure that she's alright But he still calls me late at night Never meant to leave him here like this
Devil Town - Cavetown
Devil Town is colder in the summertime I'll lose my mind at least another thousand times Hold my hand tight, we'll make it another night I still get a little scared of something new But I feel a little safer when I'm with you Falling doesn't feel so bad when I know you've fallen this way too
I Come With Knives - IAMX
The paradox of our minds Too much to believe, too much to deny You fool me again to quiet my pride But I’m a human, I come with knives I never promised you an open heart or charity I never wanted to abuse your imagination I come with knives, I come with knives And agony to love you
For Comedy Reasons: Dear Maria, Count Me In - All Time Low
Live and let live, you'll be the showgirl of the home team I'll be the narrator telling another tale of the American dream I see your name in lights, we can make you a star Girl, we'll take the world by storm, it isn't that hard 'Cause I got your picture, I'm coming with you, Dear Maria, count me in
Maria/Hellaina/Dia
May I Have This Dance - Reinaeiry | How much of this is them to each other and how much of it is them to some unfortunate victim? Uhh... yes?
Hey, what's a pretty thing like you doing here? Don't you know it's dangerous To be out so late at night? Be careful Before the night is done You might end up on someone's plate So you best be running Because I like the chase
Horizon - Luna Blake
I can tell by the way you carry yourself You've got a perfect comprehension Of a whole other dimension in your head Take me there Show me the very beginning, the first few cells The minute the world as we know it Is coming to an end You tower over me You are sky and I am sea
I Kissed a Girl - Katy Perry (rock remix)
I kissed a girl and I liked it The taste of her cherry Chapstick I kissed a girl just to try it I hope my boyfriend don't mind it
Sinners - Lauren Aquilina
But they're the ones that we'll look down upon The rules say our emotions don't comply But we'll defy the rules until we die So let's be sinners to be saints And let's be winners by mistake The world may disapprove But my world is only you And if we're sinners then it feels like heaven to me
And because Dia refuses to let me do this without at least something sort of cannibal-y and morbid! The Red Means I Love You - Madds Buckley
'Cause my insides are red, and yours are too And the red on my face is matching you And goodness, you're bleeding, what a wonderful feeling You're down, and you're pleading, my head is just reeling The red means I love you Tasting your blood means I love you
Bonus Song for All Four
Human - Of Monsters and Men | Extra points if you can guess which muses correspond (most heavily) to which line!
Cage me like an animal A crown with gems and gold Eat me like a cannibal Chase the neon throne
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musekicker · 2 years ago
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gibotto for pride month? how about "motorcycle duo" for the light hearted prompt? if my prompts no good u can delete it <3
I feel like this drabble isn't my best written, but I do like some of the scenes. So I hope you like it. And always feel free to send writing prompts by the way. I'm pretty much always open for them.
Otto had made and remade so many machines and devices. When times were slow, or repairs were not needed, it kept him from getting bored. Currently, Sprx and Chiro were looking at the most recent thing Otto had rebuilt.
"You made a motorcycle?" Sprx asked.
"Sure did! Actually, I've made and remade it twice, each with different little change." Otto said.
He shrugged slightly.
"I get bored sometimes." he finished.
"Why did you build it with wheels?" Chiro asked. "Isn't that out dated?" 
Otto nodded, running his fingers down the front wheel of the vehicle.
"Well, yeah. But I was just curious to see how it ran." Otto said. "And as out dated as it is, there is something neat about it."
Before anyone else could ask anymore questions, Gibson was passing by the workshop. Otto noticed, face lighting up at the sight of his boyfriend.
"Oh hey Gibson! Look what I made!" Otto called out.
Otto calling out to him got Gibson attention out of whatever it was he had been reading on the tablet. Entering the workshop he placed the tablet down and looked at the project that Otto was pointing out so excitedly. 
"You are going through your motorcycle phase still I see?" Gibson asked. "It looks good. I may be a little biases for various reasons. Was the blue color choice a specific reason or.."
Otto smiled, though did not offer answers on the color choice for the vehicle. 
"Glad you like it. I think it might be my last one. But... before I eventually break it down for the parts and use it for another project... want to go for a ride?" Otto asked.
Otto clearly was excited about the idea. Gibson looked to the motorcycle at the suggestion and thought a bit.
"I have been curious.." Gibson admitted.
Otto grinned wider. A tad too wide for this to be a completely on the spur of a moment question. Sprx and Chiro picked up on the fact that Otto was very much up to something. Casually, Chiro turned to the door and Sprx followed after him.
"We'll just leave you two to this then." Chiro said. "Me and Sprx have a video game challenge to get to."
"You're going down kid." Sprx said.
"We'll see about that." Chiro replied.
With Chiro and Sprx gone, Otto got onto the motorcycle. A beat of a moment later Gibson had climbed onto the motorcycle, sitting behind Otto. He hung onto Otto around the waist. Before Gibson knew it the motor on the vehicle sprang to life in a rumbling sound.
Reaching the streets of Shuggazoom, the motorcycle weaved through traffic. Enough that Gibson thought about covering his eyes. But that would mean taking his hands off of Otto. And he was not entirely sure if that would be a wise idea at these speeds. Instead he pressed his face into Otto's back.
Sensing Otto's tail wrapped around Gibson's waist. It was a soft gesture that brought both a smile and a safe feeling.
Otto would not let him fall off.
Feeling safer now, Gibson was able to enjoy the scenery moving. People and buildings passing by in speeds Gibson normally didn't have time to sit back and notice if he were going that fast.
He noticed when the buildings started to get a bit more sparse. It was still just as lovely to watch everything pass by. Eventually, they stopped at a part of the city, close to the out skirts, where there was a lovely set up waiting.
It was a picnic.
As the motorcycle slowed to a stop, Gibson spoke since there was no more roaring engine or wind to try and yell over.
"You've been planning this, haven't you?" Gibson asked.
Otto grinned.
"Maybe." 
Maybe very much meant yes. Off the motorcycle now and walking to the spread out blanket. Then they sat down. Just in the perfect spot to see the city from a better view. It was not a surprise that there was a lot of snacks in the picnic basket either. Not that they really spent a lot of the time eating. Eating was not currently the mood either was feeling.
It was getting closer to dusk, and Gibson was laying down, his head in Otto's lap. Gibson reached a hand up to place is against the side of Otto's face.
"I love you. Dearly." Gibson said, in this moment feeling so very soft.
Otto was feeling equally soft, put his hand on Gibson's hand as he looked down at him.
"I love you dearly too."
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addycorcoran · 7 months ago
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marry me, juliet, you'll never have to be alone, i love you, and that's all i really know ➝ ameline.
TAGGING ➝ Addy Corcoran, Amy Schuester (@amyschue).
LOCATION ➝ Locked down at The Spare Room.
TIME FRAME ➝ 10/15, afternoon.
WARNINGS ➝ None.
SUMMARY ➝ Finding each other at their new lockdown location after being separated, Addy and Amy have an emotional reunion resulting in a change to their relationship status.
ADDY CORCORAN
Like a captain going down with their ship, Addy did not want to leave her studio. She could say it was because she felt safer being somewhere familiar, which she did, but realistically it was because, again like the ship's captain, she had a purpose there; she was in charge, and being in charge, taking care of everyone, helped distract her from what was happening, from all of the people she was worried about. So, she fought the emergency personnel all the way there, and was thoroughly worked up by the time they arrived at The Spare Room. The only thing that could've made it worth the move would've been seeing Amy or one of her siblings there, but no such luck, so Addy continued to feel angry, frustrated and upset about all of the wrong things. Phone in hand, despite how pointless it was, she stared at the empty service bars, and cursed under her breath as she stomped over to the restrooms like a petulant child. She just needed to be on her own for a moment, to splash some cold water on her face and maybe cry. Honestly, she didn't know exactly what she needed, but still, she pushed open the door, eyes glued to her phone, and only looked up at the sound of someone using the hand dryer. "Amy..." She said, like she didn't quite believe what she was seeing at first. Her heart jumped up into her throat then, tears immediately springing to her eyes. "Oh, my God." Overcome with emotion, she practically ran across the room, her arms immediately flinging around her girlfriend and her eyes beginning to stream. "You're okay," she whispered as she gripped tightly onto the fabric of Amy's shirt, a relieved statement more than a question. Their fight didn't matter anymore; all that mattered was that Amy was here, she was okay, and Addy had no intention of ever letting go.
AMY SCHUESTER
Amy was miserable. Not only had she been on lockdown, but the people that she was surrounded by only cared about talking about their families and whatever drama was going on between them. It all felt juvenile. Their constant chattering was giving her a headache - along with the fact that the coffee that was provided was awful, and she refused to drink. On top of all of that, she couldn't stop thinking about how she'd last spoke to Addy. The love of her life. Not knowing if she was alive at first was terrifying. Even now. When had she sent that last text? Had anything changed? Amy found herself sitting in the bathroom, wasting time by being away from everyone else. It was disgusting, but it was better than their incessant chatter. In the middle of drying her hands, she looked up and saw Addy. Amy's heart dropped and she practically went running to her. "Baby," Amy whispered, tears pooling in her eyes. Her eyes burned and she blinked away the tears, holding Addy as close as possible. "I'm okay," she nodded. "You're okay." She pulled back, tears still flowing. Everything hit her at once. She could've lost her. "Addy, I'm sorry. I love you so fucking much. I'm an idiot, okay?"
ADDY CORCORAN
She wasn’t sure why she hadn’t expected their reunion to be so emotional, she just…hadn’t. If anything, she thought she’d be too happy to cry, and she was, she was elated to be right here, holding her girlfriend and knowing she was safe, but she was overwhelmed by everything: their fight, the earthquake, not knowing if Amy was okay. It all spilled out in waves of tears, and they rolled down her cheeks as Addy pulled back only far enough to meet Amy’s eyes. Her hands remained gripped to her shirt, not ready to let go, though they eventually found their way to Amy’s face, one palm cupping her cheek while her other hand brushed her hair out of her face. “We’re both idiots.” She said with a soft laugh, her voice croaky. She tilted forward to press a kiss to Amy’s lips. “I love you. I don’t ever want to be without you. I don’t wanna fight with you anymore, okay? Never. No more fighting. You’re just…you’re all I want. Forever.”
AMY SCHUESTER
Amy never really thought she was one for marriage. It just never seemed like she would find someone that she could stand to be around the rest of her life. Then Addy showed up in her life, and the more time they spent together, the more Amy was sure that this was going to be the woman that she married one day. And here she was, in tears over her. If nothing else proved that Addy was the one, her crying like this definitely did. She nodded. "No more fighting." Amy kissed Addy again, not being able to get enough of her. "You're never allowed out of my sight ever again, you hear me?" Amy pouted, pulling her even closer, if that was possible. She kissed her again. "I want to marry you," Amy breathed out, heart hammering.
ADDY CORCORAN
"Deal," Addy mumbled into the kiss, allowing herself a soft chuckle despite her tears. Honestly, after this, if she could come up with some way for the two of them to literally be together 24/7, she really would. For now, she was content to just hold onto Amy with no intention of letting go, and continued to push soft, salty tear-soaked kisses to her lips. She wasn't sure how serious Amy's admission was, but it still caused her heart to skip, and Addy nodded in agreement. "Yeah?" She pressed another kiss to her lips, echoing the sentiment, "I want to marry you," against them, before pulling back just far enough to rest her forehead against Amy's, the hand in her hair slipping to the back of her neck to stroke her fingertips softly against the warm skin there. Her eyes closed at first, but she opened them to meet Amy's, and whispered a soft but sure, "Marry me."
AMY SCHUESTER
It felt crazy, considering the circumstances. They were standing in a bathroom together, having been on lockdown for days. When Addy said marry me, Amy knew in her bones that this was her asking. Would she rather something more romantic? Amy never cared about being romanced, only that Addy felt as if she was. Would she rather have a ring to give to Addy? Absolutely. "Okay," Amy nodded, not being able to help the cheesy smile on her face. "I'll marry you. That's the easiest decision I've ever made in my entire life." She wished she could live in this moment forever - knowing Addy was safe and was going to be her wife one day. "When we get out of here, I'm getting you the best damn ring there is."
ADDY CORCORAN
Her emotions were still a jumbled mess, but Addy knew what she was doing, she knew what she was saying, and despite her rapidly beating heart, when Amy responded, Addy's lips curved into a grin. "That would've been so embarrassing if you'd said no," she joked, her tears slowing but still not quite stopped. She dropped a hand to find Amy's, easily lacing their fingers. "There are a lot of things I'm doing when we get out of here, and every single one of them involves you." With her free hand, Addy gently wiped the remaining tears from Amy's cheeks with her thumb. "You maybe wanna get out of the bathroom?" She paused, glancing towards the nearest stall. "Or, uh, wanna stay in here?"
0 notes
books-and-catears · 3 years ago
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Goodbye Dearest MC
Brothers reacting to MC dying while protecting them (Part 3: Leviathan)
<- Mammon // Satan ->
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Leviathan
...MC...I'm a failure after all. I know you keep telling me otherwise but I'm an utter failure. Why couldn't I even keep you from getting hurt..
Levi fell as you pushed him out of the way. And he watched you, frozen in his place, as you took the brunt of the weapons. The weapons meant for him.
"MC!!!", he screamed his lungs out, fumbling to run towards you, press his hand over your wounds, stop the bleeding. He ripped the sleeves off his coat to make a tourniquet for you.
"Levi!" You smiled, even with streaks of blood pouring out the side of your mouth. The same smile you always have whenever you came knocking at his door.
"WHY DID YOU DO THAT?!!! Demons can heal faster than humans!" He bit back tears as he hoisted you up, looking around frantically for a safer place, for someone who could help stitch you up.
"So what? I didn't want to see you get hurt..." You pouted. "And besides you're my favourite, you know? And we always go all out with our fav-" You stopped to cough, "favorite..."
Levi had a sinking feeling in his heart but he had to ignore it. He's been in wars before, he's seen wounds like yours, it didn't end well. But he wouldn't dare let himself indulge in that thought.
"Keep your eyes open. Stay awake." He looked down. "Keep looking at me. Please keep looking at me." The admiral in him wouldn't give up without a fight.
"Why are your eyes flickering...why are you blinking like that... stop looking so faraway...stop it MC...don't you dare leave me here! DAMNIT, WHERE IS EVERYONE?!" He muttered to himself, turning away
"I'm not leaving you, silly." You tried force a giggle, his white cloth drenched red. "We have that TSL convention to go to next week, don't we? We worked so hard for the entry passes..."
Levi held you tighter against his body. "Yes, yes exactly! Exactly, MC! We have places to go to, so you have to stay awake okay?"
"Mhhm." You knew you weren't going to make it. You were trying to make it easier for him. From the look of his watery eyes, maybe he already knew that. Maybe this was just another roleplay. The last one.
"Levi." You tugged at his collar, "Have I ever told you have really beautiful eyes? They get even prettier in your room, when we turn off all the lights except the computer...I really love them..."
Even in this state of chaos and helplessness, Levi blushed. That's the sort of power only you could have. "Your eyes are prettier. Just keep them open like this okay?"
There was silence for a while. Only his pounding heart and your ragged breathing to fill it.
You tugged at his collar again. "Levi, please sleep on time... And don't bunk classes for games anymore...And use that magic I taught you to hide things from Mammon..."
"MC, why are you talking about that now?! Stop it, you need save your energy! Just stay put and stay awake, we're almost home!" Levi was openly panicking now.
But it seems you didn't listen. You were losing your sanity along with your conciousness. You sounded drunk. "Hey Levi...if I don't wake up in time, go have fun for the both of us...at the convention okay...?"
"STOP THAT! DON'T TALK LIKE THAT!" Levi knew what last words were. And he had heard enough of them to last a lifetime. You're far too young, far too good to have your last words now. No he won't allow it.
But to his horror, you listened. You didn't say another word. Your head tilted away from him, your hand fell limp.
But he didn't stop running. Even as your body grew cold, even as his vision blurred from his tears, even as you didn't respond to him screaming your name. He didn't stop running.
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neonacity · 3 years ago
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BLOOD RED | CH.3 | HAECHAN X READER
Summary: You’re a forensic psychiatrist assigned to one of the country’s high-profile criminals. You want to unravel him, but he’s set on catching you in his web instead.
Characters: Haechan, Reader, Jungwoo, Johnny
Warnings: crimes, blood, weapons, toxic dynamics, psychological themes, personality disorder, mental health disorder, dissociative identity disorder, smut (fingering, F receiving). Please, please, please, do not interact if you are a minor.
This work is not meant to romanticize any personality disorders or toxic dynamics. Also, I am not a trained psychologist or medical professional so there might be inconsistencies on some of the scientific things here. Most medical references mentioned, however, are based on the book “The Minds of Billy Milligan” which is based on a true story. This is a work of fiction and I am not implying any likeness between the characterization here of the boys to their real life counterparts. I also reserve the rights to all my work—I do not post anywhere else other than tumblr.
CHAPTER 1 | CHAPTER 2
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The bitterness of the last few drops of coffee spread on your tongue like poison. You looked at the flimsy paper cup with a frown—as if it was its fault you'd downed the rest of its contents—before crumpling and throwing it to the bin beside you. Your eyes were heavy and yet your mind was in overdrive—as if you weren't running on two hours of sleep today, just like how you were yesterday and many nights before that.
You can remember the first time the nightmares started coming.
The feeling was similar to being slowly being undone, as if your seams are on the verge of falling apart any moment. You couldn't understand the cause of it...
It was two weeks ago when things slowly started turning for the worse. You couldn't remember the last time you've had such vivid dreams before, but you knew—the moment you woke up with pure fear sitting at the back of your throat that night—that what you had was out of the norm. Frustratingly, you couldn't remember much of your nightmare the moment you opened your eyes, but you could tell from the way your heart thundered in your chest and the cold sweat that soaked you that some switch has been flipped inside of you. You remember voices, but not their words, and a part of your fear-fogged brain could still draw up silhouettes that were too hazy for you to make out. For the next few days the nightmares would come and go, leaving you shaking in fear from something you don't even know every single time.
Or maybe you do. You're just too afraid to admit what it is.
The sudden sharp knock from your door made you almost jump from your seat. Your surprise must have been so obvious, because the moment you turned around, you caught the look of obvious worry on Jungwoo's face. Clearing your throat, you decided to quickly gloss over your reaction before he could even have the chance to point it out.
"Hey. What are you still doing here?"
Your friend strolled inside and gave you a look that made you shift your eyes away from him. He stopped just beside your table while you tried to busy yourself in fixing the messy folders cluttering your desk.
"I could ask you the same thing. You've been pulling so many long hours lately."
"I'm just taking care of a couple of things."
"Is the 'couple of things' the Lee kid's case?"
You hate the way your hand froze in the middle of picking up something. It was a quick slip, but it was enough to catchJungwoo's sharp, observant gaze. Pointedly, you pushed through the roughness in your throat and tried to divert the conversation to safer grounds.
"I'm fine. This is the first time I've ever handled a case like this so I'm just a little bit more fixated than usual. You have to understand, I don't even know if I'll ever come across someone like him again."
Jungwoo gave you a look that told you he wasn't buying any of what you were saying.
"That's bullshit and you know it. Have you taken a look at yourself lately?" He paused, his jaw ticking as if he was stopping himself from saying something he shouldn't. You couldn't bear to look at him, knowing exactly where the conversation was going.
"This case is consuming you. He is consuming you. I'm worried that this is becoming an obsession."
You tried to push back the bitter taste at the back of your mouth. Your stomach had turned into knots and for a second, you actually thought you were slipping from reality. Jungwoo put into words what you couldn't—and what you refused to acknowledge—but hearing it straight from him felt like an actual punch in the gut. You barely realized you have been shaking in your seat until you felt the warmth of his hands covering yours.
"You need to stop…"
"I can't."
"Why?" He frowned, concern evident in his voice. His hold on you tightened when he felt your hands tremble more in his grip.
"I don't know," your voice finally caught as you looked at him helplessly. "Jungwoo, I've tried. I tried stopping, believe me, but I can't. He is everywhere, even in my sleep. I don't know what's happening to me and I'm terrified. I can't get rid of him. It's like… he's inside me."
The punctuated silence that followed after your confession was almost physically painful. Jungwoo took a while before he spoke again, his steady on you as if he's trying to dig through whatever it is that was festering inside your head. The dead air in the room became unbearable, and it's only until you've started feeling the dull pain of your blunt nails digging against your palms that he decided to reply again.
"We're taking you off the case. I'm calling the headquarters right now."
Your head shot up so fast as he started pulling away from you. Quickly, you scrambled for his hands again as if they were your lifeline.
"What—W-Wait, Jungwoo, please. You can't do that."
"I can and I will. I can't just stand around watching you like this. I don't know what the hell that boy is doing to you, but I'm not letting him lay another finger on you."
"Okay. I understand. Y-You can call them. But can you do it tomorrow? It's late. I can—I can give my own supporting testimonial if they want to. But—let's just do it tomorrow, okay? Please?"
The fear and desperation in your chest was almost making you gag. The still rational part of your mind was trying to connect the dots to understand why you are acting this way, but the choking feeling consuming you was overriding any sort of logic left in you. You knew Jungwoo was right. You probably look like an addict being threatened off his source of heroin right now, but you didn't care. All you know is that cutting lines from that boy would make you drown more in whatever murky mess you're swimming in at the moment.
What the hell are you doing?
The voice in your head reflected the same look of confusion that Jungwoo gave you. You honestly have no idea why you blurted that or what you were even trying to do, but you've gotten to a point where you've let your impulses finally take over. Despite yourself, you were able to gather the little control you have and gave the man a convincing look. You squeezed his hand, your eyes determined but pleading.
"Please, Jungwoo?"
A shadow of something passed his gaze. You couldn't exactly point out what it was, but you were relieved that you sound like your old self again. He also probably noticed, because he gave you a small nod after a few more beats of silence.
"First thing tomorrow… okay?"
"Yes… I promise."
"Good. You should go home and take a re—"
"Wait," you tugged at his hand to gently cut him off. His brows slightly shot up at the action, surprised by it.
"Can I sleep in your house tonight?"
His lips parted in confusion.
"What?"
"I've been jittery because I've been losing sleep. I've tried everything. I think having someone with me will help me relax better. Calm down my anxiety…"
"Don't you have… someone who can help you out? That man you went out with?"
"He's nice, but he's a stranger. I would feel more comfortable with my best friend," you said, almost way too smoothly. "Please, Woo? Just like the old times…?"
You saw the way his jaw tightened again as you trailed off. The strange shadow in his eyes flickered once more, except this time, you have half an idea of what could be behind them. After a long pause, he finally sighed and looked away as he ran his hands through his hair.
"Fine. That will be easier for us to call the headquarters tomorrow. Come on. I think you still have a few things in my apartment.”
Your smile didn't betray the erratic beating of your heart. You squeezed his hand before finally letting it go.
"Thank you. I owe you one."
*******
You have no idea what time it is when you finally decided to crack your eyes open. The room was pitch black, so it took your vision a couple of seconds to make out the glow-in-the-dark hands of the clock nailed to the wall. 2:55 AM. If luck's on your side, you can pull off this stupid plan of yours without setting off something.
Carefully, you moved your head to the side without rustling the covers around you too much. You couldn't really see Jungwoo's face, but you made sure to closely listen to the sounds of his breathing to check if he is already deep in sleep. For a good ten seconds you just watched him, making sure that he really is out, before you slowly started peeling the duvet off of you so you could get up from the bed. You winced in discomfort the moment your bare feet touched the cool marble floor of the room, but you decided to push on and forego slippers to mask your steps. Your heartbeat was drumming so hard against your ribcage that you almost feared Jungwoo could hear it, but that didn't stop you from feeling your way out of the room in the dark. You had to thank your muscle memory, because you were able to navigate to the door without hitting anything or tripping over yourself.
The stiffness that has climbed up to your neck has lifted a little when you finally managed to step into the hallway. Allowing yourself a soft sigh of relief, you didn't waste any time after to go to the small study that Jungwoo uses as his home office. If there's one thing about your friend that you are a hundred percent sure of, it's that he is a big sucker for organizing things. So if you're going to be snooping around his files, you're sure you will all find them in one place and one place only.
You weren't disappointed when you finally managed to crack open the door at the end of the hallway. Not wanting to risk it by opening a light, you moved quickly towards the table where a laptop is and quickly tried to revive its screen. It was passport protected as you expected, but the light from it now bathed the pile of folders filed neatly beside it. You quickly grabbed for them with shaking hands and opened them one by one to check their contents.
You were on the verge of giving up when your hands finally froze and hovered over the last file. Slowly, you read the words typed on the first page under the blue light of the screen.
If you're going to be honest, you don't exactly know what you are trying to look for. Your gut feel tells you that there is something and that you are close, but your disappointment grew by the second as you realized that all the folders you went through are the same ones that have already been given to you. Could it really be possible that you're simply paranoid? Was Jungwoo correct after all about this case affecting you so much that you are slowly losing grip in reality?
Case 04532
Status: Unclosed
Year: 2018.  
File Record: Alias, The Apothecarist
You frowned at the lines of text in confusion. Your first thought was that Jungwoo might just have misplaced the folder and placed it in the pile of Haechan’s records, but you knew for a fact that he is not assigned to any other case at the moment. Slowly, you turned to the other pages, hoping that something there might give you a clue about what exactly you’re looking at.
A minute of fast skimming gave you a quick review of the case. From the year 2015 to 2018, a serial offender given the alias of The Apothecarist supposedly committed no less than 50 crimes across the city and its closest neighboring areas. The person’s signature offense was through poisoning, supposedly using a combination of lead, arsenic, and still unknown herbal blends to kill their targets. However, other unverified crimes were also connected to the suspect, with the police believing that the person’s mastery in mixing chemicals also extended their talents to creating bombs and other explosives. In 2018, after a particularly large fire that injured dozens and killed many, all the crimes came to a sudden halt. To this day, no leads about the serial offender have ever been found.
Your mind slowly processed the information as your eyes continued to skim over the pages. Nothing still makes sense to you, not until your gaze landed on the list of dates the crimes were supposedly done. You paused. 2018… Four years ago. Slowly, things started moving in your head as a cold feeling made its way up your spine.
Four years ago, Haechan was eighteen years old… The same age Donghyuck supposedly started with his crimes.
It felt like time started moving slowly for you afterwards. Your frozen fingers went back a couple of pages so you could read again the list of crimes that happened during the three year period. Large scale poisoning… Arson. Bombing to the point of total incineration. All victims died without blood mainly because nothing much was left of them in the first place. Even the poisoning cases could have been easily disguised as a random heart attack.
"Do you like blood?"
"I'm not particularly against it."
"Is that why you committed three arson cases, four bombings, and ten mass cyanide crimes across the city?"
"Princess, none of those drew any blood, but if you're asking that question to confirm my love for violence, then yes, I did them all."
Your head was reeling. A dull ringing has already started at the back of your head when you pulled Haechan's file and went straight to the page that lists his own crimes. When you focused on the dates, it felt like you finally closed your fingers on the missing piece that you've been desperately trying to fumble for in the dark.
The years are different, but each and every recorded attack that Donghyuck confessed to happened on the same date that The Apothecarist did theirs. Even the nature of the crime was almost similar—like a well-made replica of another maestro's work. When your gaze landed on the date of the first crime ever recorded under Donghyuck's name, you swore you stopped breathing.
It was exactly a month after The Apothecarist's last and biggest crime… also done on the same day and almost in the same manner. The pattern says it all. It was a continuation of an unfinished work, a struggling effort to keep an obra maestra from entirely dying. 
Donghyuck is not the master of Haechan.
Because he's been under the influence of someone else all along.
*******
You tried your best to keep your gait steady as you passed through the heavy metal gates of the prison. You have no idea whether Jungwoo called the headquarters already to officially take you off the case, but the guards barely even looked your way when you told them that you're here for another interview. In fact, the pair currently flanking the main entrance didn't even miss a beat in getting back to their card game when you told them you wanted the session to be entirely private. Their lack of blatant care told you that it might be Haechan that they escorted today. Or at least… who they thought was Haechan.
He was already waiting by the table when you finally walked in. Turning to look at you, the boy gave you his usual wide smile, before it froze on his face when he saw your expression. For a while, you only stood in silence by the door, watching him quietly. When you finally started slowly walking towards him, he followed you with his gaze, like a predator tracking his prey.
"You did a great job fooling the guards today, Donghyuck."
The slow smirk that replaced his once innocent smile sent pins of cold straight to your bones.
"You're getting better at this too, Princess."
"I've figured you out," your voice came as an almost shaky whisper as you stopped at a distance from where he was still calmly sitting. Something changed in the light of his eyes as you said it, and in that moment, you were sure he knew exactly what you were talking about.
"You did," he said, his tone not giving away whether he is stating a fact or asking a question.
"Everything you've done… You did it for your teacher, didn't you? You weren't just acting out. You were following a legacy. Does Haechan even know about this?"
He didn't answer. He only stared at you, his face devoid of any emotions you could pick apart.
“Were you under his orders? Does he know the police caught you?”
More silence. 
"Are you his successor? Of the Apothecarist?"
His blank facade finally cracked as he curled his lips before giving an empty laugh.
"Am I their successor? Darling, I think we got a little lost in translation there,” he said, his eyes dancing with a light that almost made you physically shiver. “I would give anything for that person to give me as much as a glance. Why do you think I have done all these things?"
You froze. Trying to scramble your brains, your train of thought was easily lost on you as you watched him slowly rise from his seat. He started moving closer with measured steps towards you, his gaze pinning you on the spot. Before you could even stop yourself, your gut instinct took the best of you and made you take a step back to keep him from closing the distance.
"I have done everything to find that person again. You see, people like me and Haechan, we're wrong in the head. We're outcasts. That person was the only one who could have understood us, but they made the stupid decision to stop. I didn't like that. So I took up their activities, because I thought, maybe if they see me doing it, they'll have no other choice but to crawl out of their hellhole and find me. But no. Even that didn't work no matter how many places and people I ripped apart. It was very, very frustrating."
Your breath caught in your throat when you felt your back hit the cold wall behind you. He was towering over you now, eyes dark and hooded as he slowly and pointedly rested both arms beside your head to cage you in place. Goosebumps rose on the skin of your arms when he spoke softly again, his face close enough that his breath was fanning your skin.
"You said you figured me out. The question now is… What are you going to do about it?"
You didn't know how you managed to answer, not when he slowly lowered his head to run his nose gently over the curve of your cheek. His lips ghosted over the shell of your ear after, causing your eyes to flutter shut. Your knees have gone weak, but you couldn't really find it in you to push him away.
"Y-You need… to leave," you croaked. He laughed softly as he pressed his lips to the sensitive spot of your neck, a move that finally made your legs give way under your weight. Before you collapsed though, one of his hands caught you by the hip and pressed you against the wall harshly to keep you steady.
"You'll make me leave? How are you even going to do that, hm?"
You were fighting for air. You pressed your hands against his chest now, though that didn't stop him from trailing his hand on your hip to the hem of your skirt. You gasped as his knuckles grazed against the skin of your thigh.
"What are you—"
"Answer. Or I'll turn you around right now and fuck you against the wall."
Your voice died in your throat. You knew he wasn't kidding, not when he slipped his fingers under your clothes and started slowly rubbing circles inside your thigh. Every now and then, he would stop the gentle movements to bury his blunt nails against the soft skin there to leave half crescent marks on your skin. You were absolutely wrecked, breathing heavily as you became painfully aware of the wetness and heat that has now gathered in the apex of your thighs.
"Answer… Now."
"M-Merge. You need to merge. With H-Haechan."
Your reply made him momentarily pause. It was quick though, his movements soon enough resuming to leave burning tracks on your skin.
"Merging… That's very... novel. I've read studies of it. Multiple personalities are merged and fused together with the core personality to make a single entity," he said casually in an almost thoughtful voice that was a complete contrast to the way his hand started inching closer and closer to your core. Both your hands dropped to his wrist, trying to stop him.
"So you're thinking you can merge me with Haechan… Make us into one person so that I can be held back, is that it?" His voice was brimming with amusement now as he smiled down on you. You gave a dry sob, absolutely hating the way your body was screaming for him to touch you where you needed him. You didn't even bother to answer as you painfully became aware of how his fingers suddenly stopped moving a pitying few inches from your dripping core. For a moment, none of you talked and moved. The only sounds in the room were that of your heavy breathing and the ticking hands of the clock on the wall. When he spoke again, his soft words were like the crack of a whip that shattered the tension that shrouded you both. 
"Do you cum from thoughts of me, noona?"
Your head shot up at him, stunned by the question.
"Wha—"
You broke off into a scream before you even managed to push the word out as he suddenly moved his hand and plunged two fingers inside of you. He moved so fast in pushing your soaked underwear to the side and burying himself to the hilt that the only thing you managed to do was to grip at his shoulders as a mixture of stretch and slight pain overcame your body in waves. He was quick enough to cover your lips with his other free hand, the action softening your voice into muffled groans against his palm.
"Shhh… Keep quiet now. You wouldn't want the guards to come running here and see me knuckle-deep in you, right? Or maybe that's your thing?" He laughed softly, his voice sweet and gentle. It was an ironic contradiction to the way he pumped his fingers deep inside of you, fast, deep, and unforgiving. He didn’t even let you adjust, instead starting a pace that made you shake against him. Unable to answer, you shook your head vehemently as tears started pricking your eyes.
"Fuck, you're such a dirty slut. Can you hear yourself? You're soaking wet. You're even spreading your legs for me."
"I know you dream of me. Don't even try to deny it," he whispered against your temple as you struggled to keep yourself up. Without warning, he pushed another finger inside of you, so deep this time that it hit that spot that always made your vision turn white. The sensation made you actually scream again behind his hand, a reaction he ultimately caught as he smirked at you.
The realization hit you like a truck when he said those words. Looking down in panic, you caught yourself trying to spread yourself wider for him as your thighs continued to tremble. You watched as his fingers disappeared inside of you again and again, massaging your walls that were desperately trying to suck him in. A broken groan left your throat as you felt yourself tighten against him, desperate for more. When he resumed his pace and went deeper, you clung to him harder, nails digging against the fabric of his shirt.
"Oh… So it's this, huh? Your special spot. Look at you trembling. Are you close? Are you going to cum with just my fingers?"
All sense and reason have left you at this point. Tears have started spilling down your cheeks, but all you could care about was the way he continued to drive himself deeper inside you again and again, right where you need him. Your legs were in pain, and you threw your head back against the wall as the beginnings of the tight knot in the pit of your stomach started to unravel. Donghyuck pressed his lips against the column of your throat and nipped your skin in between murmuring words that your foggy mind could barely understand anymore.
Come on.
Give in.
Beautiful.
Stop fighting me.
"Cum."
Your eyes rolled to the back of your head as he made one last thrust and buried his fingers against the spot inside of you. Vision turning white, the pressure inside you finally broke and sent waves and waves of electric pleasure through your veins. You could hear everything and nothing, your mind temporarily blanking out to block everything but your high. Just as you were at the crest of your orgasm, you heard him whisper words against your cheek as he gently kissed you there.
"Perfect… You're so perfect."
"Too bad you can never be her."
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A/N: Well... that was a ride. This is the second to the last chapter. Enjoy! 
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