#maybe i'll give him a treat... maybe

[yanoverload]

im too tired and dealing with a flare up to write something proper

imagine its been a long day, the appeals process is an arduous and demeaning exercise in futility. you just want to come home, drink some hot cocoa and watch shitty reality TV.

that would be great. if your home wasn't invaded by the most exhausting perpetrator imaginable. he's standing there in a pink heart apron holding a bloody knife. and you're too tired to deal with his whole flirting thing. you push through to your kitchen, looking for the body of whatever poor soul he slaughtered in the name of love this time. then your bedroom, while he eagerly follows behind you like an excited puppy. nothing in the bedroom.

"where is it?"

he tilts his head at you cutely.

"i know you killed someone. where is the body?"

"i left it in a special place for you~"

you slam him against the wall getting increasingly annoyed by his presence. you rip the knife from his hand and press it right against him.

"is this what you wanted? is this what you were hoping for?"

"please... sir..." his breathing hitches and you can feel his hard on pressing against your leg.

you don't know what comes over you but next thing you know you have a handful of his hair and you've shoved him into your bed. the knife in your hand helps you rip through his clothing and it's not delicate. but every little knick makes him moan and squirm.

"shut the fuck up."

you want to tell him this is punishment but you both know that isnt the case. this is just your anger, your fury being taken out on his body. and he's so grateful for however you show your wrath.

dae-ho practically creams himself when your foot comes down on his head. your cock lining up to fuck his slightly loosened hole. he actually does cum when you slam into him and begin fucking him brutally. you fuck him like you hate him, the bed shaking, his hips bruised from your grip, his head stuck under your foot. he keeps telling you he loves you but you can't hear him past your own haze of pleasure.

you fuck him rough and hard for hours. dae-ho ends the night with a mural of bruises and cum and cuts. he's so happy. but he knows he has to leave, to go get you more gifts~ so he makes you a nice breakfast before he vanishes.

the next morning when you get up, body aching. you head to the shower and..... you found the body. and a message written in blood.

"thank you, dear. i love you 💕"

RAAAAH WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF

LITERALLY YOU GOT HIS PERSONALITY TO A T!!!!!!!!!! OMIGOSH

LITERALLY THIS:

[sayakxmi]

Saiouma Puella Magi AU, but Kokichi takes Madoka's role and Shuichi takes Homura's.

For one, Kokichi's too naturally distrustful to just hear "I can grant you any wish :)" and not think ok where's the hook. So he just does what no one ever has & essentially interrogates Kyubey, so he knows it all even before he gets to make a contract. So, some of his classmstes are MGs & he won't become one himself BUT he still ends up tagging along to just protect them in his Kokichi ways. (Though I'm entertaining Kokichi lying about being a magical girl, because, well, it's Kokichi).

(I also got a small idea of Gonta being a magical girls and Kokichi originally tagging along him into labyrinths, Gonta also makes him a magic gun from the toy one he had, and at some point witches out & Kokichi manages to kill him with that gun. So he always has that spare Grief Seed on himself, bc it's still his best friend & he can't handle the idea of just giving it away or using it himself (he does anyway in the end).)

Shuichi prolly ends up being a new kid & it isn't like MadoHomu, the ppl who reach him first are Kaede & Kaito, classic. Kokichi's there, too, but he's his usual sus self. He's actually discouraging ppl from making a contract when they find out magic and miracles are real, which absolutely includes Shuichi. He's very vocal abt it, but he won't explain stutf, bc 1) he's a liar, so who'd believe him? and 2) he doesn't want them to witch out upon finding out the truth or, idk, murder everybody Mami-style.

Anyway, fast forward, bad things happen bingo & by the end of the run most charas are dead, there's Walpurgis nachting, and he makes his wish to bring back the ppl who died notably not as magical girls. Contract signed, he fights & fails, rip. I also thought it was similar to how he thought he could end the killing game by himself - he though he could finish Walpurgisnacht by himself, too. And he failed in both times. Whatevs.

Shuichi doesn't actually make his time travel wish for Ouma specifically, he wants to save all his friends. Timelines are messy esp at first bc he either tells then or it backfires or just makes himself look very sus bc he's trying not to tell them. He also realizes why Kokichi hadn't told anybody aby witches at some point, bc, yeah, it messes them a lot, assuming they believe it.

Still, Kokichi ends up one of the few people who are nearly always giving him a chance, not necessarily out of belief, but out of pragmatism - bro can stop time & knows the truth, that's just too useful. So they often work together & Shuichi grows closer to him but still we ain't there yet. But the thing is, Shuichi's time travel still makes Kokichi more & more powerful with each timeline, bc Shuichi usually goes back after Kokichi dies, so the universe figured out this guy's life's important. Anyway, another notable thing is the iconic Homura kills Madoka scene, but it's Saiouma with guest stars of Kaito & Maki. It's Walpy, it's not defeated yet, but the training trio are spent & just kinda accept their fate of turning into witches together. And then, boom, Kokichi appears & steals their Soul Gems for a sec & he's like did u know you can cleanse your Soul Gem with a darkened one? But it's a lie & he quickly tells them so, he just had a spare Grief Seed after cleansing his Soul Gem & he needs them to do some stuff. Shuichi can travel back in time & fix things, and Maki & Kaito are needed to fight Walpy here. He actually questions what happens to the timelines Shuichi leaves behin, and ofc he doesn't know. There's a chance they remain, so Kokichi needs Maki & Kaito to fight Walpy here.

Kaimaki leave, and Shuichi finally looks at Kokichi & realizes sth is Wrong. Kokichi struggles to hide how he's trembling & grimacing, and it's Kokichi, so obviously it must be extremely bad. Shuichi dreadfully realizes something worse, and he weakly asks Kokichi why aren't his wounds healing. And Kokichi just falls, laughing weakly, and Shuichi catches him & searches for his Soul Gem and, God, he knew it. It's nearly completely black. Kokichi laughs & admits he lied abt having two Grief Seeds, he only had one he never wanted to use. But they'll have the second one soon, so no need to worry. He asks Shuichi to maybe destroy his witch form as it's hatching, so he'll have the Grief Seed without any fighting… and he admits that he hates fighting, he hates this magical world and all its violence. He says that Kaito was right in calling him a coward, even here he just can't handle the idea of fighting any longer, he's so sorry. And Shuichi tells him he ISN'T a coward. He was scared, but he always followed everybody, trying to help, and when push came to shove he would always make a contract for the benefit of others rather than himself. He's a lot of things, but a coward isn't one. Kokichi actually tears up hearing that, and Shuichi promises he won't let him fight ever again, and especially he won't let him turn into a witch and hurt anybody, because he knows it's the last thing he's ever wanted. Even now he only accepts turning into a witch to help them fight to keep others safe. So Shuichi won't let him. Kokichi probably apologizes and thanks him and then he dies.

Keeping Kokichi from fighting starts off as a side quest that gains importance with time, bc it's something Shuichi won't compromise on (ah, trauma), which leads him to occassionally neglect others a bit, which makes them more likely to get hurt & ironically Kokichi more likely to make a contract, especially since he gets more powerful & Kyubey is more interested in him with each timeline. And that also makes him witch out super quick. Shuichi's paying more attention to him & over time grows resentful of others for how they're treating him. To Shuichi it's no question that Kokichi cares & is just doing his best to help, but nobody realizes that.

But the biggest obstacle in keeping Kokichi from fighting is actually Kokichi himself, bc he's too smart and nosy, lmao. Even if he knows nothing, he will find out quickly. Doesn't help that Kyubey wants him to make a contract.

Also, obviously Kaito is Sayaka-coded and Maki could be Kyouko-coded, so that's a thing, BUT it's usually Maki that witches out. Kaito is usually pretty close, but Kokichi intervenes & he survives, but Maki later cracks on her own (and since in the new timeline Kokichi isn't there, Kaito's the one to die, so he's still the secretary). So it's Kaito who gets the dramatic sacrifice. I imagine he genuinely hoped you could bring somebody back if you tried Very Hard & Kokichi called him a moron bc obviously it's not possible. If it was there'd be far less witches that there are. But it's Kaito, he doesn't listen to reason. So, Kokichi follows him to the labyrinth. At first Kaito's mad cuz what if Kokichi being there ruins the plan? Maki hates his guts! But eventually he gets hit pretty hard, and Kokichi is near immediately by his side, trying to help him get up, which kinda makes Kaito short circuit a little bc wait Kokichi's trying to help? But witch!Maki attacks them & Kokichi pushes Kaito away & gets caught himself (and choked until unconsciousness, naturally). Anyway, Kaito gets him away, Shuichi catches Kokichi & Kaito makes up his mind about going down with Maki & asks Shuichi to tell Kokichi that he's sorry. He doesn't get him, but he got hurt trying to protect him, so he'll believe in that if nothing else. F.

As for The WishTM, in the last timeline Shuichi lashes out at Kokichi for his willingness to just become part of the system. In no timeline has his wish actually helped, it did NOTHINHG, which OUCH but it also makes Kokichi think out of the box more & he becomes the Law of Cycles. And Shuichi realizes what is happening & freaks out bc Kokichi's doing it bc of what he told him & like Homura they end up having a momentTM in space & Shuichi remembers. He feels a lot of guilt even tho he also questions whether anything was real, but if it was, he pushed somebody he far too realized he loved into erasing himself from existence.

[cuteniarose]

The consequences of my poor financial decisions are here!!

[queenerdloser]

my christmas eve drinking game includes: my mom saying something about me "outdoing" her with presents, my dad bringing up trump in a completely unrelated conversation to rant about him, my brother in law saying something that gets completely unheard by my parents, my sister giving me a Look after our parents do something completely insane

[not-brionnnne]

hey has anyone ever considered doing shinjiro smut for after the fade to black but he lays you across his lap, like has anyone ever considered the canon praise kink with him more—shinjiro who scolds you, calls you trouble and tells you to stay close to him like a "good girl", shinjiro who acts tough, pretends to be fed up with you pushing him around (he loves it, but that doesn't mean you're not gonna hear about it), ignoring what he wants, so two can play that game, and you think, god, he's not holding back anymore, he's going to kiss me, finally, we're going to— but no, he settles on his bed and pats his lap and tells you that you need to "take responsibility" for teasing him like that, messing with his feelings — "be a good girl." remember, you started this.

[technofinch]

Okay now that everyone on earth has read dj unprotected sex and I can spoil it with impunity. I'm very tempted to write an alternate version where Mulligan does in fact get facehugged and bust it chestburster style (as enj so eloquently put it)

[jlf23tumble]

Speaking of retcons. What fans does Liam have to manipulate? Liam has always been the least popular member of 1D and what fans he did have disappeared when his 2018 album got yanked. You can tell that because his most popular music required GP interest. Plus he can’t sustain a UA and there’s no one defending him on Twitter. Every thing goes viral because there aren’t enough accounts to muddy the algorithms with other tweets. It’s the least believable thing Maya has said. That and her descriptions of his team as powerful. A powerful and manipulative team looks like Harry’s. They’ve been sweeping his indiscretions into a very dark corner for years. One day they’ll come spilling out and he’ll have his Diddy moment. His team will have made their money so they won’t care.

[lab-gr0wn-lambs]

someone in the makeup department playing "how much bigger can I make Daryl's scar each episode until someone notices"

[strfe]

finished rebirth & i'll maybe write more about it some other time but for now i'll just say it was ok

[thingswhatareawesome]

MOM HOLY FUCK

STANDARD WARP HAS NEVER TREATED ME THIS NICE EVER? WHAT?

[bemtevis]

hate to say it but matthew's bearable in this book

[furshrimps]

I'm soooo 🤏 close to messaging my trainer if she knows somebody who would be a good fit for Sammy and his issues.

The more time goes by the more I think about this idea. I don't think I can give him the quality of life that he deserves and needs anymore.

The most noticeable thing for me is that he's regressed with grooming a lot and I don't have the (physical and mental) energy to put the constant effort in that would be required to improve that. Same goes for muzzle training, and he needs that done. I just don't have that anymore. Training fun things here and there is a whole other matter, but this is something that needs to be done continuously and with a lot of patience. I think he might be better off with someone else at this point.

[beevean]

cars use fuel to work

i use terrible takes about hector and n!hector :)

[spocksbedsidemanner]

.

[ishibishie]

WE FUCKING GAMING

[throughpatchesofviolet]

In happier news ... I'm currently stimming over the newest Heathcliff 2* ID I've wanted for the past five months. Quite thankful I'm home alone for this event because the noises I'm making ... this man has done something to me. /lh