#maybe i wont kill the chain this time?

[hydraposeidon]

Yooo this looks fun! I guess ill do my best.

H - Hoist the Colors (Bass singers version)

Y - Yggdrasil (Brothers of Metal)

D - Dragonborn (Jeremy Soule)

R - Rise of the Chaos Wizards (Gloryhammer)

A - A Real Life (Greek Fire)

P - Powersnake (Brothers of Metal)

O - Only One (Miles Kang)

S - Skylander Main Theme (Hans Zimmer)

E - Enemy (Imagine Dragons)

I - Istanbul not Constantinople (They might be giants)

D - Diggy Diggy Hole (Windrose)

O - Overworld Theme (Koji Kondo)

N - Night Witches (Sabaton)

Thanks for tagging me Tia, this was fun but kinda hard. It took a long time.

@multifandomplease @all-the-verses @luminousenigma

Yall follow me get pinged.

okay well the reblog chain kept crashing so ig i'll start a new one lmaoo

i was tagged by @new-hyperfixation-every-month to participate in a game where you find a song title that begins with each letter in your url, and then tag as many people as there are letters in your url!

T - Trusted Component (Rain World OST) I - Iphis (The Mechanisms) B - Blood in the Wine (AURORA) A - Aman Syndai (Wheel of Time OST) I - It Happened Quiet (AURORA) A - Ashes (The Longest Johns) L - La Jardinera (Olivia Chaney) T - Tell me Prophet (Skippocalyptic) Y - Yankee Bayonet (The Decemberists) B - Burial (24 Killers OST) A - Allies or Enemies (The Crane Wives) L - 莲花空行 （克莱琪） T - Tähden Lentäessä (Loituma)

that's a lot of people to tag..... i'll just throw a few people out there

@hydraposeidon @tessenda @spiderworries @oraclebell17 @brightnessrandom @mankillercalledbunny @abarelysapientpairofshoes @hoidingaroundthecosmere

[infiniteseriesofhalfways]

sitting in the parking lot thinking i might vom

[ganondoodle]

my hatred for totk has many reasons, its like made in a lab for me to hate it and i cannot escape it, that is the worst part of it all and why it wont let me go

(this is even ignoring just how much is wrong with it from a game design perspective, which is alot too, and it too makes me mad bc i care about that as well)

i, unfortunately, care about the timeline, i care about the lore and its consistency, i care about the writing and characters, i like connecting dots that were likely never meant to be connected, and most importantly, I LOVE BOTW- as such, i cannot simply ignore totks existence, as much as i wish i could, botw gets lumped together with totk like they are one game all the time, botw basically ceased to exist as its own game, you cannot look or think about as its own thing, its now always chained to the much worse 'sequel' in a way i dont see it with other game sequels, totk messes with it all, introduces stuff i utterly hate, and i cant escape it, any time i start up botw, i think of totk, everytime botw is brough up, totk will be there, anytime i try to engage with botw content, totk is there, haunting me

i sometimes i wish it did actually kill my love for the zelda franchise bc at least then i could maybe, finally let it go, even if id still be bitter about it, i maybe could let go, but thats not how this kind of obsession works, i cant just choose to not care and move on

its like the worst kind of love hate relationship that keeps chasing me in circles without a chance to rest, and everytime i think it finally slowed down, theres news about it, still, that restart the chase at full speed

[daraku-ou]

ok ok i wanna talk about this at length and not on twitter where i can say like three sentences but i think a lot about how femt will sit around and say how humanity is just awful and disgusting but theres SO many times he seems to be rooting for them. like here how he Let Leo Go. he just let him leave. "he said he didnt wanna play so yknow. He Left." and he yells about how Of Course Hes Not Gonna Kill Leo. leo was so important to stopping the second collapse and femt just let him leave and then when he explained this to despair who is like Dude Why Didnt You Kill Him Or Leave Him There femt seems to be pretty genuinely concerned about despairs wellbeing and. general depression.

then there's in the ova where it's most obvious. hes running around trying to stop this restaurant from being destroyed which Just So Happens to have libra in it. tells leo to forget he was ever there. "i dont need a reason to help them out" femt i am shaking u

and THEN !!! theres curious. curious is fascinating to me for several reasons but i think its really interesting that femt seemingly shows up for no other reason than to Get Curious. wants to take him home for whatever reasons (i have thoughts on this but its too much so maybe another post). but then they immediately start fighting and it really seems like femt is just trying to keep curious preoccupied, buying time for libra to do something. he doesn't really have any reason to get into a petty fight with curious. then when curious is about to attack steven and klaus, femt IMMEDIATELY gets eve and odd to attack him which leaves them in pieces, ultimately ending up letting steven klaus and chain get the upper hand. and then femt just Leaves.

AND THE CALAMITY AUCTION !!! my favorite femt scene. pretends to be the president to break klaus out of jail as hes the only one who can really do anything about whats going on. and later when hes revealed to be the "president" klaus is surprised that someone like femt would even bother to get involved, cuz why WOULD he get involved?? hes constantly saying how worthless humanity is but here he is, actively trying to help. this pisses femt off who attacks briefly but just. Leaves. Again. destroys all the cameras in the room too. god forbid he be seen trying to help out a bad situation

which brings me to the light novel!! as i've said i've been translating it and theres a lot of interesting things. femt talks about how he feels extremely isolated from humanity and when people try to get information from him he just cant understand why they would ever want to be him or have what he has, cuz he clearly has..... Lots Of Issues! it's almost like he's so worried about what will happen to humanity if he isn't there to save them or on the other side of that he has to keep. testing humanity or something. he puts them through his games but even libra admits that theres a line he wont cross. they prefer to deal with him over Other Threats because while hes mass murdering lunatic he still wont. you know. Kill Everyone. unlike curious. i think femt and curious are being set up as foils and i have lots of thoughts on this but theres just too much to say about those two...

tldr i think femt cares a lot more about those around him than he would ever let anyone know. yeah he'll murder hundreds of people but the second hes faced with someone in person that he cant just pretend is part of this vague crude idea of humanity he has in his head its like something clicks in his brain that this is a Real Person and now he suddenly cares. he seems to have this recurring idea of humanity killing themselves or being unable to save themselves which leads him to Extreme Violence and when he helps its like he doesnt want to admit that he cares in some way. hes constantly distancing himself from everyone and i think he should go to therapy <3

[grapesrsogood]

Lonely

Asirel x Pet || Angst/comfort

3rd person and she/her pronouns

Masterlist here

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The room was cold as Pet sat on the sofa, awaiting the return of Asirel. He had been especially busy lately and only come to see her three times in the past week.

Pets ears prick and she turns her head as the door creaks open, she had heard his footsteps coming down the hall but time and time again he had just walked past, ignoring the festering annoyance and anger in her demeanour.

Asirel set down some files onto his desk and shuffles them into separate piles, being as picky with his ordering as usual, and moves to stand next to Pet, watching her closely as she turns her head away from him sharply.

“Whats wrong, Pet?” Asirel finally asks and Pet huffs, standing and moving over to the fireplace, placing kindling down and lighting the fire-lighter beneath them, attempting to warm the room up. It would be uncomfortable to try and sleep in a room as cold as this, of course a vampire would have no issue but…

“Talk to me, whats on your mind?” Asirels smooth tone makes Pet pause, taking a deep breath and watching the gentle flames wrap around the wood.

“You’ve been out a lot lately, and im hungry,” Pet finally mumbles, just loud enough for Asirel to hear and she continues to slowly stoke the fire.

“You know that work has been stressful lately,” Asirel perches himself on the armchair a few feet behind Pet, “especially with the recent death, his funeral was two days ago so im still going through paperwork for his coworkers to have.”

Pet stays silent for a moment, her frown deepening as she places a small log onto the fire, the dry wood catching quickly and the heat steadily rising, “you said id get attention and feeding, in return id protect you. I have not been needed, nor have i been fed. Im a wrestles person you know, Asriel,” Pet says lowly, her anger spiking, matching the flickering flames before her.

Asirel sighs as he stands again, sauntering over to stand behind Pet, “there are plenty of people here you can feed from, i told you that we have people being held especially for you, you just have to ask.” He crouches down and pulls back Pets hair, brushing through it gently with his fingers.

“I dont want to feed from them, i want you!” Pets voice rises as she shakes her head and turns to face him.

“Pet, im busy but i can give you attention now, i have a meeting early tomorrow though so i wont be i for most of the day,” he attempts to compromise but Pets hostility seems to grow even more.

“Exactly! You say you want me to intimidate people or whatever but you never take me anywhere! You keep me in this room, alone and hungry, but that’s not fair!” Pets anger mirrors the angry flames behind her, she balls her hands into fists and leans forward towards Asirel.

“I should just do what i did before! I should take what i want and drain you because you dont care! You never did!” Pet lunges at Asirel and his eyes widen, attempting to pull away and stand up but Pet was too quick, “i hate you! I hate all of you! You’re a liar!”

Pet keeps Asirel beneath her as she screams, her eyes welling with tears as she stares down at Asirel, his fear slowly starts to shift into understanding and maybe even sympathy as he stares up at Pet.

“I cant believe i thought you’d be any different! I should kill you! It’s what i want! It’s what I’ve wanted since the moment i was out of those fucking chains!”

Asirel brings an hand up to Pets face, his gaze meeting hers, “i can tell you’re not an angry person, i can see the sadness in your eyes.”

His words were soft and Pets breath catches, they hold eye contact before Pets face starts to crumple, finally letting their body go limp as Asirel sits up, pulling her body into his. She sobs into his chest as he rocks her gently and goes back to toying with her hair.

“Its alright, you’ll be okay. I know i haven’t been around much, youre right, you should be able to come with me to work meetings. Its why i originally wanted you, but i was worried that you would find it overwhelming, i thought you preferred to stay here where its quiet and peaceful. I was wrong, and im so sorry.”

Pet looks up, meeting his gaze as he wipes away a tear from her cheek, “i hate being alone.”

Asirel cups her cheek in his palm, keeping her grounded and focused on him, “then i’ll never leave you again.”

A sheep in wolfs clothing.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Do i end it there? Kinda feels rushed…

IDK

I know i said i didnt have time but im starved of writing (T___T)

Two posts before Christmas, im spoiling yall

(ˇ^ˇ)

I hope this was good, BAIIIIII

TAGLIST

@xxluneilaxxaus @penelopesbaby @claiestve @onasvigo

[majorasnightmare]

also on the topic of the difference between pre and post tadpole dirge, one might hypothetically wonder what the point is to have such a drastic personality change, with only one half actually having a real tangible presence within the context of the story.

and the point is that i just find it very enjoyable when your past self haunts you like a poltergeist. that at every step of the way someone who isnt you, but WAS you, that you no longer recognize, exerts a constant invisible negative influence over every action you take and every place you live, intensifying as time goes on, screaming to be seen, until their silent presence is akin to a natural disaster and theres no one you can turn to for help

that isnt you, but it WAS you, and it will always HAVE BEEN you and it doesnt matter how far you run or how much you distance yourself, you drag your own ghost with you by a chain wrapped round the ankle and both of you are both clawing towards each other and clawing away. he isnt you, wont ever get to BE you, because you took his place, and he hates that you got out and he didnt, and he cant stand to be away from you because you got out and he didnt, and you think that maybe things would go better if you stopped being you and started being him but he'll kill you before he lets that happen, and theres a home you cant remember that you can never go back to, but every step forward drags a weight that cracks the foundation of everything new you try to build. but you cant cut yourself away. thats your own specter. how do you stop haunting yourself

[disappointing-my-kid]

Bowser finally accepted that Peach wont ever love him but since he hates Mario so much he decides to kidnap his brother. The green on or whatever.

Since its not a princess and hes not trying to make Luigi marry him maybe Bowser is a bit meaner in this kidnapping. Ropes or chains either way they are actually made to hold the man. Cell in the dungeon of course. Why would this thorn in his side get a fancy guest room like the princess. Just toss em in what does he care.

Mean while Luigi after hearing Peach talk about how bad the kidnappings aren’t is one terrified out of his mind that Bowser has snapped and is gonna kill someone for once and two worried about his brother cause clearly the princess is into some weird shit.

I plan to write for this if yall want it but my shower ran out of hot water so i cant atm. It will have to wait till next time.

[whole-circus]

hi! i was wondering if u could make a jeff the killer x male reader general hcs? thanks a lot!!

Jeff the Killer x male reader general dating hcs!

➥ Hii! Here you go! ( ´ω` ) Im sorry that without NSWF part, dunno if you were counting for that!

˚　　✦　　　. ˚₊‧꒰ა ☆ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚. 　　　✦　　˚

I think that Jeff doesnt have preferences about his partner. That means that no matter what you do, what are your hobbies or what kind of person your are, he would be still into you. You can be either silly and crazy like Jeff or be calm and he will somehow match the energy with you anyways. High chance that he is "look > personality" type of person, but I believe he wouldnt be too picky.

When in relationship, he isnt the worst person to date! Jeffs mean coments turn into more teasing one? You know, you can tell when he is not being serious and just want to play with you. Once with him, you got more "friends and lovers" type of relationship. He really can be fun to have around. Not the best at comforting, but can be shoulder to cry or partner in destroying the world. He also has his clingy moments, nothing too direct but enjoys kisses and cuddles. Even if he isnt the best at showing that, he would do anything for you!

He just want someone who would take care of him, he needs that even if he will deny it. Jeff came through a lot, and under his tough, big and scary persona he wants to be cared for and loved. Will act like doesn't like it but if you pamper him he would melt - of course he will pretend to be mad but you know better! Boy doesn't live in healthy way, doesnt eat or drink enough and sleep isnt the most important for him (plus he is a killer???) so gladly appreciates all that. Bonus: be ready for cleaning bloody stains from his (or sometimes yours) clothes tho!

Jeff also need a lot of time to let himself be vurnable in front of you. Its hard for him to open up, hates the feeling of showing emotions and "being weak" (in his small brain being emotional = being lame). Im sorry but that can lead to him snapping on you, it happens when you buttle up emotions. I believe that Jeff would also have anger issues which wont be treated for obviouse reasons, so the beggining of relationship can be a bit hard. No worries, he gets better at controlling them (or just not taking anger out on you!) by time and who knows? Maybe once in a while he would seek comfort from you??

Well, Jeff is possesive and jealous, maybe sometimes to the point of this unhealthy way. Not that he would lock you in his room and chain to bed, but might get pouty when you are being too close with someone. Doesnt matter with who - your friend, stranger or just your family - there is high chance of him not talking to you for a while becasue of that or end up with rough making out session!

He is more of "I will beat or kill anyone who will look at you in the wrong way" type of romantic rather than "uwu cute dates for my cute boyfriend". Jeff can be pretty romantic...just not in standard way! You wont get expensive gifts or cheesy dinner dates with him wearing fancy suit, but you would recieve a lot of stolen things (jewelry if you wear, clothes, anything!) or just going on a walk/exploring abandon buildings at night! He is also down for cuddles, but its a secret..!

˚　　✦　　　. ˚₊‧꒰ა ☆ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚. 　　　✦　　˚

[anon-wilford]

TRICK OR TREAT !!!!

omg hi thank u! I wasnt sure what to do as am ccurently already working on two art pieces but not smth I can post to tumblr (I think) but I remembered this writers wip! hermitcraft angst incomming, with Evil X. Pain.

Pain is the only comfort Evil X Has. The little healthy tissue still to succumb to the void cold touch, screaming and begging for warmth, sending waves of agony up his arms. It's ironic that it feels like touching hot oil on a pan. His feet's no better either, but they're holding up better. At least that's what he hopes. He hopes that they're not just too far away from his heart for his body to have given up on them. Nausea forces its way to his stomach by the thought of his feet being black, frozen, and cold, to the point they've gone numb. He tells himself that the slight weird tingling sensation pushing its way up his legs means something else. But he doesn't dare look to confirm that. He gave up screaming a long time ago. The angry insults could have simply lasted an hour, or a day. Or several for all he knows. He's unsure if Time is ticking by agonizingly slow, or going by faster due to the lack of general stimuli, other than watch the few particles of the void rush by him, almost as if he was falling.

Falling...or floating for eternity. He's pretty sure he's falling. Just the way his stomach churns at every movement, like going over the peak of a roller coaster, down. Yet nothing around him would confirm that he was. No wind is whipping past him, screaming in his ears. No hair flailing wildly as the effects of Gravity takes its effect. No resistance of his limbs due to the natural force. Maybe he's not, the metal around his wrists and ankles to keep him from entering servers, worlds or the central hub in general, suggests he's chanied up, but there's not much here to chain him to, he supposes. He cant assume the magic ingrained in the metal would do much if he was falling. But

The feeling of slowly slipping further, and further. Deeper. Just his guts tensing and with a sharp cold energetic pain at every flinch, suggests his assumptions are correct.

His throat feels sore. Every swallow, cough or even breath feels like swallowing shards of glass. His thrasing and screaming had taken it's toll, ripping the inside of his throat open, littered with sores. Every heave his lungs crave, that his throat is forced through, screaming at him to let it rest, the infalmed irritated tissue fighting his very want to stay alive, sending waves of tears prickling and itching to fall. If he had any left to shed, that is. He guesses that he's too dehydrated to cry. Being in the void might pause several of his bodily functions, but it's mercy only extents so far. The tears he shed wont come back. His stomach's still empty. He's still running on fumes. And you can still wither away and die. It's not a time bubble. He's not sure if that's a curse or a blessing. Probably a blessing. It would be agony to be consicous till the end of time. Though still far from generous. Never forgiving the poor souls that's send into it's embrace. Most take forgranted how quick the death would be, in some- if not most- circumstances. Falling off an end island, falling through a glitched hole in the world. The gravity letting you slip, like breaking through water's surface tension, but scaled a hundred-fold, is what harms. The pop of of the void tearing you from the egde of your world, tearing you out from it's force's reach, like two siblings fighting over a toy. Killing you. Tearing you apart and in the end, nobody wins. Both crying over the loss of their precious toy. Though if given to the void. If you're send there intentionally. If someone negotiates with the worlds code, like writing a command, lessening the whiplash... you die from your body not being made to live there.

All he hears is the internal turmoil and the void's singing. The ringing in his ears almost resembling a tune if you listen for long enough. Attempting to soothe you, before the high-pitched ringing stabs your ear's inner organs like a million tiny needles, slowly yet surely digging everything out.

It feels like years have passed since he last saw his brother. Well, clone? Well, he himself is the clone. Xisuma is most likely the original. No matter how simillar he looked, he always stood out. He doesn't mind that, of course. That's what he tells himself at least. It's good to stand out, be different, not blend in with all the normies living their plain boring life, talking about their unitneresting lives. Their words tasts like boring plain bread left out on the counter for too long.

...and look what that got him...

A one way ticket to the void.

Handed to him on a silver platter by someone he once called his brother. Whom he had shared most of his life with, walking along side eachother. He never thought their roads parting ways would have lead him here.

The forgiveness he had once teased his brother for being too generous for giving so easily, is what he has been begging to receive for the past... Few years, most likely. Yet he remembers that spiteful, hurtful, look his brother had given him before the darkness of the void had embraced him.

At first he despised his brother for sending him here. Screaming about how Xisuma himself had talked and thought how unforgiving the void is. How no human being deserve such a slow and torturous death.

But Evil X is just a clone after all. Just another number. A duplicate, a fake. And the worst part is, that he's a terrible duplicate at that. Meant to be so much greater than whatever he had become. Or at least, that's what he felt was assumed of the situation. He rose so high, ignoring the promise of the inevitable fall being even harder than his success, plummeting and dragging it down with him. And oh, how ugly his fall was. Slow and agonizing.

It's ironic, isn't it? That this is how he dies. Falling slowly in the void.

At least he'll die the way he lived, if that means anything. Probably doesn't. He hope they didn't forget him. He hopes that the time that has passed, is time spent warming Xisumas cold shoulder. Yet he's sure they both know deep down that this is what he deserves. He deserves to slowly lose his senses. Slowly have his person, his soul, his very core wither away. He deserves the cold biting away at his body, circling his heart still pumping out the warm blood, like a predator seeking the warm flesh of it's prey. Seeking to suffocate any sign of warmth in its territory. He can feel the last bit of life draining from him, but he's too cold, too tired to fight it. And he knows it's utterly useless. The exhaustion is overwhelming. His eye's are heavy. He can feel his eyelids slip. His muscles loosing the energy to keep themselves together. He can feel the exposed skin on his face crack from the dry cold, blood seeping from his face. He really should have kept his helmet on and not chugged it as hard as he could, never to be seen again. Maybe it would have kept him alive long enough for his pleas of forgiveness to reach Xisuma's heart. The only warmth left in him is the blood seeping through his cracking skin across his corehead, lips and cheeks. He hoped that at the very least he would die in battle, with fellow warriors by his side to comfort him with the promise of vengance and victory; or someplace where he gets to say goodbye to mothernature. Hoping to die blissfully lulled to sleep in her lovingly warm embrace, with the beauty of the flowers, trees and animals she created and allows to live and die in her embrace with a promise of peace.

As his eyes close, he can feel a surge rush through his body.

And everything goes black. Everything disappears. He no longer feels the weight of his armor, the weight of breathing.

[ourflagmeansgayrights]

ofmd s2e4 rewatch where i pause to jot down my thoughts and other random shit

it's been a busy week since last thursday and shit's only gonna get busier for me after tomorrow so hopefully i can get through these two episodes out before i go to bed lol!!! anyway once again these posts are just me rambling so i can process the insane amount of information in these episodes and if u want to read them too that's fine.

s2e1, s2e2, s2e3, s2e4, s2e5, s2e6, s2e7, s2e8

rip everyone who wanted homoerotic sword fighting in the gentebeard reunion. have a headbutt as a consolation prize.

obsessed with stede holding raw room-temperature meat against his bruised face bc that's not even a little bit how that works. i love this show.

ok so jim saying "he'll probably get around to killing you after he's rested" in response to stede saying ed needs to regain his strength actually gives some pretty good context to why they want ed of the ship so bad. bc they DID fully try to kill ed and now he's here and alive and like. if i were jim i would be pretty worried abt ed holding a grudge abt that.

wont lie stede being like "we dont just banish people, that's not us!" makes me thinkg abt how they fully banished izzy from the ship in e6. i mean technically izzy banished himself on accident but. lol.

also izzy's absence in this scene indicating he is not yet considered part of the entire crew

roach: i need that steak back, it's dinner stede: (pulling the steak away) oh, right fang: maybe let's put the banishment to a vote? stede: (steak back on his face, apparently having forgotten he was literally just about to give the meat to roach) aw do we have to :(

ed chained to the ship is doing. a lot for me. i wont lie.

buttons saying he's been to the gravy basket a few times... how many times has this man almost died??????

it is deeply funny to me that they edit the split second flashback of the drowning and mermaid hallucination to look all creepy as if that whole scene wasn't set to an incredibly sappy 80's love song (said with immense affection)

OBSESSED with stede trying to be like. encouraging to izzy. and being like "he cant hear you he's got no head" about izzy yelling at the ruined figurehead. this fucking dork.

so ive seen ppl talking abt how the crew's in a deadlock abt banishing ed and which ppl they think were pro-banishment and which were against, but the scenes with the crew make it look like everyone's voting for ed to get kicked out. so tbh i think like either of the following interpretations are pretty valid: the crew is split 50/50 on if they should banish ed OR the crew 100% wants to banish ed and stede was gonna try and leverage izzy's vote to try and get more ppl to change their mind. doesnt rlly matter either way tho

also the fact that izzy was the one to keep ed's body is. interesting. the others must've known abt it and helped izzy hide the body in the secret room. but izzy being the one to be like "no we're not throwing him overboard" is. something. no conclusions abt this atm im just rotating this fact in my brain.

i also just have a lot of thoughts abt the mutiny and the fact that like, jim's a trained assassin and the others are also pretty experienced killers and they probably knew they hadn't completely finished the job. and there was plenty of opportunity for them to do something about that. but instead they hid his body and waited for ed to succumb to his injuries. it feels kinda like ed's "technically i outsource the big job" rule. idk. thoughtssss.

frenchie in this scene is so funny bc he seems both actually apologetic abt kicking ed off the ship but also very relieved/vindicated to see him go.

didnt realize olu almost said smthng to ed lol i thought ed was just saying "fuck you" to him for no reason ghfjkghjkfh

"first time i've ever been on this side of a walk of shame" wee john i have so many questions. how many times have you been banished from a ship.

obsessed with archie just being like "way to make this awkward brah." her shitty boss put her life at risk in an attempt to make her and her coworkers kill him in a weird roundabout suicide attempt and her summary of the situation is "well, this is awkward :/"

"shitty sailing with you" sick burn, jim

"you're making it really hard to look up to you, man" LOVE how black pete is still a blackbeard stan. despite everything.

just ONCE i want someone to appreciate roach's sandwiches :(

"dont you want your sammy" STEDE I WOULD DIE FOR YOU

also i disagree with the subtitles here im like 99% sure says "you're no fuckin mermaid" not "you're not a fuckin mermaid" but that's just me ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

stede looks SO sad abt not being a mermaid

love how everyone in this episode just sort of nods and is like "yeah okay" every time buttons tells them he's turning into a bird

altho with stede in this scene specifically im convinced that he's just jumping at the chance to follow ed to the island. he was absolutely gonna come up with some shitty excuse to go ashore anyway but it's nice of buttons to give him plausible deniability

i love how much ed hates nature

why do the subtitles say "gyp-" this has been bothering me all week. the line is "like a drifter"

i also love ed's line delivery of "a wolf?"

anyway dumb posts abt the spider tattoo backstory: 1, 2, 3

i love to see ed getting hugs... wish i could give him a hug :(

ok also buttons talking abt the gravy basket made me think ed needed like some sort of spell or smthng to snap out of it but instead it just kinda wore off by the end of the episode (maybe, depends on how you read the whole buttons turning into a bird scene). this is very funny to me for some reason

anne rubbing the cup she's holding against her tit. queen.

stede bonnet idiot dumbfuck moments

i LOVE anne's line delivery of "eddie motherfuckin teeeeach" like yeah that's cj's girl alright. or was cj's girl. who knows.

SECRET HANDSHAKE im cryinggggg. i love them.

stede's voice sounds so weird when he says "i wasn't looking for you" and that's because he's fucking lying through his teeth

LOVE how anne and mary look at each other after the "shipmates" "former" interaction like they are immediately on the same wavelength. and that wavelength is fucking with ed and his ex. they sniffed out a messy relationship dynamic and were like "oh hell yeah we need more of this in our lives"

ed is SO bitchy this whole scene i fucking love it. ed's face when he says "him?" fdhjksgfjhdgkj

ed: whatever 🙄 anne: whatever? 👀 mary: whatever! 😈

wee john getting more goth is so good

drunk izzy rambling at the ship's figurehead is so funny to me tho i miss drunk izzy

ed's crew lady macbeth "out damned spot" moments

i like how there's a goat in the background of this scene in anne and mary's house and it is unexplained and also never seen again.

ed's face after stede says "that's romance" is soooo good this bitch is so pissed. like oh would you have met me at the docs if i peeled the guard's face off instead of just paying him off? is that what fuckin does it for you???? not that it matters bc i dont care. but. cunt.

yeah im just focusing in on all of ed's faces in this scene. "quite the shift going from wearing people's faces to antique collectors" gets ed to freeze in the middle of bringing his drink up to his lips and just kinda stare off into the distance.

"how did you meet" has ed kind of frowning for a split second before stede starts answering and then he rolls his eyes very dramatically and sighs deeply

ed immediately being like "actually i was gonna kill him myself!" trying to undermine stede's meet-cute story. also anne and mary nodding along in complete unison bc this is just normal pirate conversation to them.

~~~

also as someone who has been team "no ed was dead serious abt the plan to steal stede's identity" this was very vindicating for me. it's a bad plan and it doesn't make any sense but logistics literally dont matter in this show. what matters is giving this story the "falling for the mark" trope makes ed's character arc in season 1 that much tastier!!!!

ed and stede going back and forth telling their story i cant fucking wait until theyre happily together telling this story and instead of ed trying to downplay it and ruin the meet-cute-iness of it they're just building on each other and being sappy and adorable

"more like i relented" one of the biggest lies i've ever heard this man say fjhkgjkfdhk

"until he completely boned it" SAY IT. FUCKING SAY IT. SOOOOO TRUE ED.

auauhghgh the beard bit......... crying

THE!!!!! QUIETEST LITTLE "thank you" OF ALL TIME. TIED MAYBE WITH ED SAYING "thank you" AFTER "i think you're very sophisticated" IN 1.05

i dont blame stede for trying to get ed to open up right after that bc that was the first bone ed's thrown stede's way since he woke up. unfortunately ed is not in the mood to talk abt his near-death experience and mermaid hallucination sequence.

LOVE anne's little gesture when she says "rabbit" and the little hip cocking

stede being like "uhhhh we could leave" during the knifeplay exhibitionism moment

i giggle every time at the way the crew is instantly like "fuck closing our eyes we're doing any fucking surprises"

ngl idgw the crew yelled abt the piñata reveal. but ok

loooove stede's half of the crew just blowing past all the screaming and tension from ed's half. jim screams "STAY THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME!!!" abt the blindfold and roach is like "you won't want to stay the fuck away from this caaaake!" like roach fdhsjfgdhfjkghkj read the room?????

i love how much stede just. completely misses all of annie's flirting

ed coughing during the blunt session i love himmmmm

ok but ed's trying to be like "im totally over stede i dont even like him" and then ed reminiscing fondly with a distant smile abt the 1.06 stabbing scene

"and that was the... second time you left your wife?" underrated line

love how annie's been all quiet and seductive and then when she goes to make her move she's just like "WOUND THIS" and aggressively sits in stede's lap

also ok. "they're gonna be so jealous" is that annie talking abt ed and mary or is that annie using they/them pronouns for mary.

BUTTONS JUMPSCARE

also i love how they have that one medusa painting just. in their kitchen. im obsessed with the interior decor of this lesbian antique store that annie and mary live in

the way she's so touched by the poisoning attempt hjfgfjksghskjhgjkh

buttons being like "aahhhhhh do i give her... this bowl......????" fhjkghkfsjhk

"yeah, babe" TEALORANGES WIN

im honestly sad izzy's pathetic wet beast moment only really went for like three tiny scenes in one episode bc this shit was so funny to me. crawling away saying "you're born alone you die alone" over and over again. sir what are you even doing.

god buttons in this episode is so fucking funny bc i keep forgetting he's there. also why is he even there. like was he even invited to dinner or did he just sit down and annie and mary were like "oh ok i uh. guess we'll go make another plate??"

ed's face after buttons says the bit abt "i can tell this rabbit was intelligent" is soooo funny why is he so fucking pissed fdhsjkgyjdfkghjk

NO WAIT HE'S PISSED BC THAT WAS HIS FRIEND. THAT WAS HIS FRIEND THE WOLF HE WAS TELLING HIS SECRETS. NOW IM KINDA SAD :(:(:(

stede talking abt the sea when what he's actually talking abt is ed part 2 electric boogaloo

ed very calmly. standing up. and smashing the chair. im obsessed with him.

stede bonnet stupid dumbass moments

IMPROMPTU BLANKET FORT TIME

ed's voice is so quiet at the start of this scene he's not even yelling at stede until stede says "it's not fair" ohhhhhh my babygirl is so fucking sad........

"you ditching me without a note or anything" ed's literacy confirmed

"expecting me to just melt back into your arms" eddie my man. stede has not given literally any indication that he expected this at all. you are telling on yourself fhdjskghfkjshd

this scene is so fucking good i barely have anything to say abt it. just. u can rlly tell david jenkins wrote this ep himself lolll

"i was all in, mate. i was all in." IM SOBBING

oh nooooo i forgot that ed's line delivery of "im sorry my horrible naked chin disgusts you so much" isnt actually as sarcastic as the words itself make it seem. like it feels like ed wanted to say that all angrily and bitter but instead he just sounds sadddddd

ok ok but the way stede says "i love your chin naked or otherwise" and then after a pause (during which ed is keeping INCREDIBLY still bc u know otherwise he's just gonna burst into tearssss) stede whispers "ed" and ed is immediately like "don't" and then. stede going in for the "i love you" but like the way he's so slow with it?? he's literally like "i. love." and idk if it's bc he's trying to make this as clear as possible or if he's giving ed enough time to cut him off if he doesn't want to hear it

and ed DOES he DOES cut him off with "you don't get to say that to me" and he like. keeps glancing at stede out of the corner of his eye but not quite looking at him directly bc he knowwwwws it's like staring into the sun baby and ed knows if he looks at stede's face it's literally all over.

but also ed's face after stede pivots to "i love everything about you" he's SO pissed. he quietly groans and rolls his eyes bc this bitch. finding stupid loopholes to not being allowed to say "i love you." fuck this guy ed hates him so fucking much (lying)

oooooh when stede says "you don't have to say it back to me" ed's mouth opens and closes a bit before "not about to" bc this man is trying. SO hard not to cry (so am i but it's not working sorry there are tears on my face right now)

idk idk idk smthng abt "it's nice. feels good." makes me hurt so fucking bad bc the entire time since ed's woken up stede's been getting headbutted and snarked at passive-aggressively but stede's still like "i love being near you it makes me happy :)" brb i need. a fucking moment.

honestly tho how did annie and mary even overhear that bit bc they were on the other side of the room and stede was whispering SO quietly. opposite of when ppl in this show dont hear things despite the things being said like two feet away from them (1.03 geraldo and jackie talking abt how blackbeard was looking for stede, 2.01 zheng saying the indigo was worth way more than she spent on it)

LOVE how anne being like "stede likes the ladies" is how ed figures out "ohhhh wait ok theyre just fucking with us, got it" bc this guy??? liking women????? lmao

this also HAS to be why he gets over mary like his brain mustve gone "wait hang on why the fuck would he go back to her he doesn't even like women. guess maybe he really did panic huh" hdjksghfckghkjsh

obsessed with these TINY tiny details abt the ed/jack/annie/mary polycule dynamics we're given. ed would've expected as much from annie bc she's a fucking psycho. mary apparently used to not be like this. im putting the pieces together im connecting the dots.

ed and stede's knowing smug looks at each other. im obsessed.

annie being rlly sensitive to the word "bitch" im considering that more hints abt the polycule backstory

yayy fanny newspaper

"really? i mean she stabbed you, you poisoned her, and then she jumped on my face" stede this is all part of their very elaborate and deeply toxic sex life ok stop kinkshaming them

~~~

curious if ed and stede are too distracted by mary spelling out their worst fears to comment on all the smoke coming into the room

"everything must go" like a fucking clearance sale. this is such a silly line. this is a silly show. i love it here.

WHY DONT THEY MAKE OUT SLOPPY STYLE HERE THO

wait are they crying while they hug??? bro these girls are so fucking messy i love them

ed saying "see you guys" before he leaves them in their burning house. i would die for him

ok team arts and craft time while making a prosthetic for izzy. obsessed with how the b plot of this episode is literally "the crew struggles to get along but they eventually set aside their differences and work together when they realize there's someone even more cringe and pathetic than any of them"

"YOU ARE!!! HARASSING A CRIPPLE!!!!!!" is suchhhh a funny line im sorry im gonna miss izzy at his lowest fhsjkhjksf. literally they just knocked on the door my dude calm downnnn

obsessed with izzy being genuinelly touched and expressing it by saying "fucking cocksuckers." this man is allergic to having feelings.

stede and ed painfully talking over each other bc everything is awkward and difficult. i love them.

ed's face when stede offers to let ed stay. his very quiet "yis." the way he says "might be nice" and then VERY QUICKLY looks away

stede yelling GREAT at the top of his lungs fhdsjkguydfgfjkhl

i love when these guys try to play it cool bc theyre so fucking bad at it hgdfgvjfxdkgjjdkkgjhfdkh

stede bonnet dumb idiot moron moments

ed staring off lovinglyyyyyy

buttons jumpscare

also is that fucking sage. are we doing cultural appropriation here

buttons saying "Earth Wind and Fire i wanna go higher" hfjkhgfdjkhgjkh

i love how ed. does not question this "fuck yeah, brother. fly."

ed teach lovesick fool moments

i love how happy ed sounds telling stede abt buttons he sounds like his old goofy self for the first time all season.... im gonna cry

also i like how the crew adopts izzy as their new creature. 10/10

post credits scene is annie and mary at dinner with buttons. i guess it's after stede goes to comfort ed but before they go eavesdrop on that convo.

buttons enjoying his last meal as a human. and also he's like "there's too much fucking on that ship i need to get away from it all." and his way of doing this is becoming a bird. love that.

[lvxybby]

it kills me to love you (kai anderson x reader) (part 6?)

WHAT! "kai- what! i cant be a mother! not now! i still have things i want to do first!" i said shocked. he looked up at me, his brown eyes looked right at me, like he was...begging? "i'll be there for you...we can do all those things you want to do together" he said sitting up. "kai...i...i dont want my son or daughter to be a messiah!...i wont let that happen..." i said standing up. "why not? our genes together will be so powerful...and i know you would be a great mother....to create my spawn...raise it together...and finally rule everyone....dominate the world together" he said also getting up. he moved closer to me, he placed his hands on the side of my face. "kai...i would love to...but i dont want a messiah and im not ready to be a mother...." i said looking at him. his hands were so large and cupped my face perfectly. his eyes pierced through me. "ok...when will you be?" he asked. "i dont know..maybe....35? around there...i dont know if i even want kids...sleepless night...so much money to spend on them...they're so fucking loud...i cant do it" i said putting my hands on his. "i dont even know....if both of us would be good parents...we arent together...were really busy with going places across town half the time...and...while im pregnant i cant do anything for the cult" i continued. "we can fix that...we wont go far at all...i'll make someone else do your tasks..." he said before continuing "and i never said i dont wanna be with you...i'd love too be with you forever...your smart...hard working....so beautiful" he said moving a strand of hair out my face. his voice was quiet and soft, not the usual loud stressed kai. no he looked like the old kai. the quiet, sweet kai who never wanted to hurt anyone. that kai. he moved in closer to me, our lips barely apart. "really?" i whispered. "yeah...i do...you're so perfect" he said before pressing our lips together. the kiss was loving and passionate. he moved closer to me, if that was possible. i wrapped my arms around his neck and pushed deeper into the kiss. his hands caressed my curves. the kiss felt amazing, it wasnt full of lust, no it was love. it was like my chained feelings were finally free. and kai...he seemed so calm for once. the calmest ive seen him in a long time. we pulled away from each other, a string of spit keeping us connected. kai stared into my eyes, his cheeks were flush, matching mine. he leaned back in but i backed up. "im sorry kai...but i cant...not now" i said. his face turned to confusion. "why not?" he said furrowing his brows. "im afraid...it'll be too much on you...plus you have meadow..." i said fiddling with my hands. his face grew a bit annoyed "dont worry about me ok. and fuck meadow ok? fuck her...shes...dont worry about it" he said with a slight attitude. "what did you do to her?" i asked a slight bit concerned. "what the hell did i just say? dont worry about her" he said. i didnt mean to annoy him...im just super concerned for him. i feel if we were to start dating, he'd either put too much attention into me or completely leave me alone so he could focus on the cult. im scared for his mentality. it wont work well if we dated. i love him though. is it worth a shot?

[selfspinninglies]

ok hi @aureoberlinerinn and the rest of tumblr i guess. My Death Note Honey I'm Home [Ghost and Pals] animatic concept thang that I probably wont make. I'm going lyric by lyric on this so it's going under the cut. Also just in case huge gigantic neon sign spoiler warning for so much of dn

opening instrumental: [not in order of where i would put them] bits of the shinigami realm, the death note falling into the human world, Misa's stalker dying, the death note in the grass [events that are catalysts essentially]

Father said that this world isn't for me/I tried to pray for a new reality: Light reminscing about how terrible the world/people is/are, shots of random people doing things

So come to me: Light seeing the death note fall/picking it up

We can change night into day: shots of the first 2 people Light kills, him realizing what he could do with it, him with a halo or something like that + red bg

A tied up moth: L logo on laptop in the international conference thing [presumably because im not drawing that hypothetically. Too many people]

Seemed to know a different way: closeup on L's face [blue background]

(Don't remember it/don't return to it): Light looking horrified when he first uses the death note

Oh, father tore out the umbilical cord: shot of a graveyard/funeral maybe, i cant think of anything else to be honest

There's nothing left/in the bottle keeping me scored: people dying, empty bowl of some sort of candies with [assumedly] L's hand above it, Light throwing an apple

We'll abandon the scenery in the: idk really, my first thought is Misa walking with Rem and a shot of bloody hands [Light's] but idk im flexible on that

(Dont remember it/don't return to it): Misa eye closeup [shinigami flavor], her holding the death note, dead bodies that are assumedly her parents [also unsure about this one]

Rear view mirror: i honestly have no idea

A petty line of white noise: Light getting pissed at Lind L. Tailor

Pack up your bags: Lind L. Tailor dying/Light laughing about it

And throw out the toys: L logo showing up, you know how that scene goes

Three strikes and "honey i'm home": Light intially seeing L, cut to gay tennis game

Three voices come from the gramophone: L and Light beind blue and red [i have a better image for this in my head but i cant explain it well], eyes in the background of the opposite color looking at them [blue for Light, Red for L if my phrasing was weird], flashes of different scenes through gra-mo-phone [syllables because they indicate scene change]

A vivisection of me: Light pinned like he's a bug getting taxidermied

Yielded the start of a mystery: hands above Light, camera pans up during my-ster-y to show that its L's hands [you would see his face]

Say "hello! Honey I'm home!": Light walking into the task force hotel but he doesnt have a full face and it's just a smile [red] [does this make sense]

Three voices come from the gramophone: L, Light, and Misa normally but on gra-mo-phone they change [Light has red eyes and looks evil™️ (idk how else to say it) holding the death note, Misa has shinigami eyes, and L's eyes are blue because idk what else to do with him here el oh el]

God returned with the moth chained to his hand: Misa with Light in some way

There's so many things that you'll never understand: Kira follower riot thing you get it

So come to me/we can change night into day: Light getting put into confinement + losing his memories, when night into day is said it shows glimpses of his normal life/memories from that time compared to his cell now

You'll hold my hand so you'll never go astray: L and Light in chains together [i have specific visuals for this that i cant really explain], a few eyes in the background again but theyre all looking at Light this time

(God devoured that of father): either Light getting the death note back and his expressions slowly changing as he gains back his memory or lawlight cannibalism. I cannot decide

A spider preaching with poison on its lips: Takada talking about Kira

To get out of here is to promise me a kiss: Light lying and looking pretty about it [i have visuals in my head that i cant articulate] or alternatively lawlight kiss. Many such cases

We'll abandon the scenery in the/mind of mother: Light + Misa fake execution is all i can think of to put here idk

(Dont remember it dont return to it): memory-less Light scenes

So with advice of the dead/and a halo over my head: Light with Mello, L, and Soichiro in the bg behind him [because they were all trying to catch him + died] and he has a halo again but when the beat drops it cracks and he looks horrified and theyre all looking at him

At last "honey I'm home!"/three voices come all alone: yellow box scene stuff

A vivisection of me/done by god for all to see: L death scene [kind of] but hes in a similar position to Light when he was being bug taxidermied but Light is vivisecting him and theres eyes in the bg again [red] also on "for all to see" it zooms in on Light's eyes then face and he smiles but evil™️

Say "hello! honey I'm home!": cut back to yellow box, Light does his Kira monologue

Three voices come all alone: zoom out of the scene, on "a-all a-lone" it closes up on Near, Matsuda, and Mikami, then Light but its framed so it looks like Light is completely alone

A vivisection of me/done by god for all to see: Light gettng shot + running away, past his younger self [anime ref you get it] + flashes of Light's life before the death note/Kira contrasted with his current situation between the gaps of the vocal interlude and the lyrics

A vivisection of me/done by god for all to see: Light dying on the staircase, hallucinating L you get it

Closing instrumental: [not in order] aftermath stuff like Misa walking + dying, the Kira cult, members of the task force, Minoru getting the death note, Sayu + Sachiko

[theddude]

Desperate

Im desperate for you touch, your smile, you presence, your huggs, your love, your little signs of affection, your kisses, your intimacy, your care and attention.

Im maybe a fool, waiting for your love, but I'd rather die as a fool than die as wasted love..

Am I selfish when I miss you? Or is you beeing you just so much to me that I captivates my live,...yes is the answer to that.

Maybe it doesnt help you at all, at this moment, but yes, I love you more than anything, so much it makes me cry thinking about loosing you, ...and you know how hard it is for me to cry...I have trouble functioning, dont feel sorry for me! But you is all my life is about

I know you are strugling now and I wished I could be there for you, to hold you to cuddle you to be there for you, to take care for you...

But I know your life with your spouse goes on, that hurts tbh... It is painfull to notice your spouse knew it all along and now has leaverage on you because of us...offcourse he hasnt but I think he has that thought. Its disturbing to notice how he behaved(s)... he will be a manchild for live,..

I fear that your plan of leaving me like you said after our first breakup is killing... because you also said that you dont wanna loose me...and yet you did ditched me again...I hope you know that your life is not chained up now because of your spouse. If your marriage makes you chained that I advice to reconsider ... I know all the confersations we had about him not giving a flying fuck about you, that you didnt had to do your best of hiding our intimate relationship, that says a lot...

To be honest, after the first break up my hart was shatered, I did picked up the pieces hoping and knowing you still love me. You luckily came back, however the second time after a short period of you breaking up again with me, my hart shatered again in more little pieces. I picked it up again. Knowing you still had to love me, because you are you...im still in love with you, and am still waiting on you, and you are always welcome at my place and in my arms and in my soul, because you cannot leave my soul, no matter how many times you break contact with me...

We dont have contact now, it hurts, im hurt, im sure you are hurt to, my life stopped now... and yours will go through just like after the first breakup...I know you, you will never forget, but so will I. And yes I cry, I cry a lot, lots of times during the day and nights... don't think that will pass because what now happend the last few months is life changing on so many ways...

I wish you well and I wish you all the wisdom, and yes offcourse you are welcome to talk to cuddle to hugg to do things together, and believe it or not...but im not angry at you. I am very upset but not angry at all! Im also upset about the relationship you now have...wished you so much better and more than this... don't know if it wise to say but its not okay...its just wrong... you deserve better, more, equal, free,... I hope people stop taking advantage of you for their own personal plan of life...

My marriage purposal still stands and will stand with you, I dont care how and when but it will stand until we are married...

Im lost now, this will last... I wont love again other than you its a fact, and you know it to. Im sorry if it hurts what im writing, but its what im feeling, and im hurt...

Maybe im a fool, maybe im stupid, maybe im a dick, maybe im not worthy, maybe im ugly, maybe im pathetic, and maybe I dont deserve to be alive at all, but i know im desperate...

Im desperately in love about you. And maybe you are not that into me as i am into you,... if that is true...time will tell...

But i will wait,.. you still have my keys you know where i live.. your welcome.. and if your not into me at all anymore, thanx for the joy and good times, thanx for the love you shared, the care you give, the feeling you gave me, the intimate moments we had, the awesome sex we had, all the huggs and all the time that your head was on my chest or shoulder...

I won't say farewell, i won't say goodbye, just see you later,.. now or in another lifetime,..

Your love,

Patrick

[nobodieshero-main]

Atlas Lavore

in the simplest terms: Atlas is the man who is going to save the world. He is the hero of the story, the leader of the quest, destiny's bitch.

He was raised in a noble family, by stiff and absent parents who neglected his emotional needs and were never very physically affectionate with him. He was the only child they had, and therefore their only heir and they were like. really weird about it??

wait- okay, so, the nobility ranks in this world work a little weird because of the gods so because Ako (learning, education, teaching, knowledge) is one of the Up There gods, good educators and scholars tend to be very high up on the nobility food chain, and Atlas' family are alchemists!

It's a magical trait that had been born into the family like a thousand years ago - (*checks notes* wow so interesting how that was around the same time the royal family was stripped of magic and atlas' destiny was written, wild, wonder what that could mean) - and then just Stuck Around so now there's an alchemist based caster in every generation who then goes on to teach at the university (big deal, makes you v important.)

So you can imagine the pressure Atlas grew up with, the expectations that he carried around with him everywhere.

And yet.

Atlas looks at the world as something to be loved, be embraced, to be seen. He's an optimist and is always ready with a kind word and a warm hug, he never lets anyone feel unloved or unwanted. He's hopeful, and kind - the kind of person that makes you think "there is bravery in being soft".

(not to say he is soft, bc atlas will kill a man with his bare hands and then turn around with a bright smile and ask if everyone else is okay, and he wont feel remorse for it if he genuinely thinks it was something that needed to be done.)

He became the person he needed when he was growing up.

He's also always been adventurous kid, climbing shit, and sneaking out, and attending festivals with Cecily. He always wanted more, wanted to see beyond the city walls and experience the world. (So, you can imagine his disappointment when he wound up as an teaching assistant for alchemy at the university, instead of attending classes where he would get to learn other stuff.)

So yeah! Atlas is the hero and he is basically the sunny skies to Keikas storms; the sun to his moon, the laugh to his sullen silence, the hands tugging at his face to force his frown upside down-

His destiny had been written in Vietua's constellations long before his parents were born, and the threads of fate run through his veins like puppet strings and will continue to do so until he finishes what Vietua has planned for him.

Then he'll be free to make his own decisions.

(Well, all of that would be true in a world without Keika, because i am a SLUT for romances that spit in the face of destiny and carve their own paths.) (and technically destiny does sink it's claws back into him-)

AND THEN!

Upset in the palace.

The Prince releases a royal statement of sorts that there's an organisation attempting to find and revive the last dragon alive. which would be terrible, so hes going to reward anyone who can find the dragon and/or stop the people behind it.

And so the threads of fate start tugging.

-

okay more just random information that i know about him

the man will eat ANYTHING (food related trauma from having his diet carefully monitored by strict parents?? maybe)

he's not afraid to get his hands dirty, and he loooves doing things himself

sometimes he does not know how much things cost though, bc he WAS raised in a noble family, so Cecily handles their coin (bc Ahria impulse buys weapons and cannot be trusted)

he's got his 5 4 keys for success locked down (confidence, getting along, organisation, resilience + persistence)

he has Really Good people skills (again: raised a noble)

he is excellent at fencing

he uses talismans and potions to direct and strengthen his magic, similar to the way keika uses a flute

[doyouknowhowtowaltz]

What would happen if a Pottsfielder recognized “mr hope” as the beast? maybe someone the beast was hunting got killed/died before they could turn into a tree so they rocked up in pottsfield and freaked out when they saw the beast show up there

I go back and forth over this idea every time I play with the idea. Functionally, I see three options, all of which can be independent answers, or which can layer up on top of each other:

The Beast doesn't really show himself to most of his prey. The vast majority of the individuals he hunts only hear his voice, and see very little if any of him at all, any prey that see him well enough to recognize him are the ones that are too far gone to die without becoming edelwood. A Pottsfielder probably wont recognize him unless they caught a glimpse of his eyes before they died.

The Pottsfielders would conclude that Mr. Hope and the Beast are the same species of creature, and not one in the same. I can't see this belief lasting more than a couple centuries, especially if they overhear Mr. Hope singing, in which case it bleeds into option 3.

Pottsfielders don't technically have free will. They're individuals of course, with their own personalities, and personal breaking points, they react to different situations differently, they can disagree with each other and even argue, they can make poor choices, but they can't oppose Enoch. It's just a by product of being animated by Enoch, there's a current running through them that lets them move, but it also bends them to fit its course, sometimes it shapes their perceptions, sometimes it shapes their rationality, it takes different forms. This is going to make them a lot more mellow about the whole thing than they normally would be.

This could take the form of them being like "Oh well, that's just the food chain, can't begrudge him for it, might as well just be thankful I got so lucky." Or "Must have been a misunderstanding, our Mr. Hope wouldn't have been hunting me, he must have been trying to help me" or even "Ah, well he doesn't seem to be looking for trouble, but I ought to be prepared to comfort Enoch... just in case."

I could see some nerves, and timidness around the Beast, maybe even a little outright suspicion, but I doubt it'd become a public spectacle, something for Pottsfield's gossip hour maybe.

[navire190413]

i am exhausted. i really need to stop drinking so much. i almost didnt make it into work today just because i wanted to sleep more. probably since i've been going to bed around 2 every night. i really gotta adjust my life style soon or i feel like there will be serious consequences somehow.

ive been considering giving up on x-chan. its been 4 months since we broke up, and then 3 months as "friends", where we're just doing this stupid game of ohhh we like eachother so much one week then dont like each other the next week, repeat. we met up after work yesterday and went to 神田 to go to 神田屋. idk why we even went there, x-chan hates chain izakayas. we only had one drink then decided to walk to 秋葉原。we found another chain izakaya to go to since they allow smoking at your seat. usually when we're together he always holds my hand, but he didnt reach for it at all last night, so i didnt reach for his either. i felt like, oh maybe its actually over now and we're just actually going to act like friends and not be all ラブラブ like we are most of the time. 

we left pretty early after having 2 mega lemon sours and some food. he was exhausted from work and was basically falling asleep at the table. we said bye and didnt kiss or anything. i went to my usual bar for a drink or two before going home. most of the usual people were there but i mostly just drank by myself and played with my phone. i was too exhausted and over thinking everything to even try to communicate in japanese. 

i texted x-chan while i was there saying i wanted to hold his hand earlier but didnt know if it was okay or not so i refrained. he told me its always okay and he likes when i do it, so i guess i will from now on. i also told him i still like him and after i got drunk i asked him to please tell me if he ever starts talking to a girl romantically so i can stop pursuing him out of respect for the both of them. he agreed, so i guess i should stop worrying about if he's talking to anyone until he tells me he is. 

my old drinking buddy ended up coming to the bar while i was there and we drank until 11:30, which is why im so fucking exhausted today. he's american from texas and has been in japan for less than a year. he's kind of sort of studying japanese but he hasnt really made much progress lately haha. he teaches english and is stuck in that terrible cycle. i couldnt do it. all of the people i know who are english teachers are miserable and on the verge of offing themselves. the pay is too low and their hours too long and they have weird ass fucking contracts with barely any time off. i definitely got lucky when i decided to go to language school. but also extremely lucky i had the means to save up for it and afford it. i love japan but i dont love it enough to become an english teacher just for a visa. i would absolutely move back to the states before i even considered teaching english as a job. which is why i was so panicked the entire time i was job hunting. 

im sure if i didnt come to work today it would have been fine, but i had a cold two weeks ago and something about me missing 3 days of work in a month when i just got my work visa 2 months ago doesnt sit right with me. i got ready in 10 minutes today so i could sleep in the max amount of time possible and didnt even bother with makeup. i really gotta get my shit togetherrrrrrr. x-chan also doesnt want to drink as much anymore and wants to save money, so if i stop hanging out with him as much i wont be drinking as much or spending as much money either. but if i dont hang out with him as much, he'll start hanging out with other girls! i dont think he will but my ocd is killing me. i want to give up so bad. i tried my hardest to make things right between us, but they keep going from good to bad and then from bad to good and i am frankly emotionally exhausted. he texted ME good morning today, and that made me more happy than it should have. i need to stop wasting my emotional resources on this and focus on myself. its so hard. 

i think im gonna go pray at a temple this weekend. it usually helps me clear my head and i feel like my luck usually turns around when i do. fighting the urge to look up 縁結び祈願 temples because i should pray about getting my life together, not getting back with x-chan haha. i typed this then immediately invited him to go with me.

i do the money management and accounting at my job. im still being trained on how they like their stuff organized and how to do everything the right way in japan. japan's tax system is so complicated compared to how "streamlined" it is in the states. also having to add up big amounts of money here is kind of comical. so many 0's. so. many. 0's. also dont ask me to say any number larger than 999万円 outloud because it takes me like 10 seconds to count from the end of the number and backwards to understand if its 万 or 億.

i need to go shooting soon. i have a photo series in mind, but it requires me being out all night long until like 6am, and i dont feel comfortable doing it alone since random men always approach me when im by myself so im kind of relying on my friends to go with me. i also keep blowing off my friends to hangout and try to woo x-chan. my life is a mess. i also need to study instead of drinking every night. and i need to not go to the bar as much so i can save up to move. and and and and. and i need to buy more film for my camera. and i want to play pokemon in my free time. and i need to study more japanese grammar for my job because im forgetting a lot of it now that im not going to school everyday. and and and and. i need to go to the grocery store after work today.

yesterday on my way to the station after work, there was a guy puking on the sidewalk. first thought was, okay gross? and at 5:30? kind of fucking early to be hammered… then i looked at his vomit and it was a giant amount of unchewed ramen noodles. like. so so so much. we made eye contact and that man was in PAIN. i wonder if he just overate or something instead of being drunk 😂 that image of those fucking noodles will stay with me forever.

i need to do laundry and clean my room when i get home tonight.