#maybe i have a tapeworm or something idk

[seethinglikeme]

girl help i need to shit but i keep forgetting to eat 😔

[toytulini]

god hes really making this difficult with the tweets, but, I hope we all recognize that the reasons hes a bad person, and the reasons he would make a bad president, are because of his shitty beliefs, and not, because of an infection that could and does happen to anyone?

There is absolutely nothing you could make up about American politics. Imagination is dead. It's useless.

[fawnforgold]

| I Wanna Make My Murder Look Like A Suicide | 

Pairing: Diluc x Fem!Reader

Warnings: Dark content, Yandere, Yan!Diluc, Fem!Reader, Reader wears a dress, Diluc is your husband, Abuse, Manipulation, Reader is disabled, Reader uses a cane, Reader is referred to as Diluc’s ‘Wife’, Mentions of past forced feeding, Arranged Marriage, It is implied that reader’s family was abusive, Scratching (Reader), Diluc is very cruel in this, Kaeya appears towards the end, Dissociation, Reader has a mental breakdown, Stockholm Syndrome (? I’m unsure about this one ?), 4.6k Words. 

A/n: Reupload because I deleted this foasijfasodi but yeah idk I really just think yandere!Diluc is neat. Also, the title are lyrics from the song Cotard’s Solution by Will Wood and The Tapeworms.

Summary: When your family arranges a marriage with the wealthy owner of Dawn Winery, you jump at the first chance you can to escape your cruel family, but what new hell awaits you on the other side?

“Where do you think you’re going?” He asked in a cold tone. 

It threw you off for a moment but only briefly, because if there’s one thing you could promise yourself it’s that your husband, Diluc, would never harm you. But somehow you couldn’t help but clutch onto the fabric of your dress, the same one he gave you on your first wedding anniversary, hands shaking for some unknown reason.

“I was just going for a walk. Would you like to j-” He cut you off mid sentence, snapping at you in response.

“No, I don’t want to go anywhere and neither should you. It’s”— He checked his pocket watch before quickly tucking it back into his pocket— “Three in the morning and both of us should be heading to bed.” 

“But-” Before you could get another word in he’d grabbed your wrist and pulled you forward.

That was your cue that it was indeed time to end the night, in bed… with your husband. Your beloved husband who would never steer you astray. So, then why did you have this feeling in the pit of your stomach that something was terribly and unmistakably wrong? 

Soon the sun rose and pierced through the window of your bedroom, waking you up with its warm rays and urging you to get ready for the day. You didn’t have anywhere to go or anything to do exactly—to be fair you never did—but that never stopped you from looking your very best. So, you quickly put on a decent looking outfit, brushed your hair, and grabbed your cane. And just as you were about to descend down the stairs you saw the flower embroidered basket out of the corner of your eye. It always tempted you, or maybe taunted is the more appropriate word, and you decided against fighting your desires and instead hooked it over your free arm. 

You checked both ways before tip-toeing downstairs, hoping your walk was closer than it was last night. Closer and closer you came to the front door, you knew it was silly but you really wanted to take a walk and you couldn’t understand your husband’s rejections towards it. Your hand was on the bronze knob and you were just about to turn it when a hand placed itself on your shoulder. You jumped and looked to see who it was and to your surprise and relief, it was Adelinde. It made getting caught a little less scary and a lot more tedious, because you knew there was nothing you could do to keep her watchful eyes off of you. 

She smiled fondly, too fondly, and finally spoke. “You’re supposed to be resting. Come on, let’s get you some breakfast. Master Diluc is expecting you.” She led you into the dining area.

Pulling back an open seat, Adelinde helped you into your seat, pushing your chair closer to the table while the both of you waited for Diluc to arrive. And once he did she did the same for him and walked outside as he dismissed her. Not once did she look back and it made you nervous for reasons you weren’t sure of. The both of you waited in thick silence for the food to arrive, and once it had he took a few bites before he ordered everyone in the house to give you two some privacy.

It was that moment, that moment right then and there that made you question just what exactly your husband would say or do. Maybe an answer to last night’s little event, or something truly dreadful instead. It was the very minute you happened to look at him that he set down his utensils and spoke at last.

“Are you unhappy?” he said casually, as if he hadn’t just questioned the very existence of you in his life. 

You were stunned, but not too much that you couldn’t speak. 

“Of course I am! What kind of question is that?” you replied defensively. 

Your heart began to pound harshly against your chest, and you could feel the sudden drop of your stomach. Clenching the fork in your right hand you tried grounding yourself, controlling your emotions, but the feeling was so strong you started to cry. 

Diluc reached over and gingerly wiped away the stray tear on your cheek. “Please, don’t cry.” You were silent aside from the hurtful whimpers you let out. “I’m not mad.” 

Diluc slowly made his way out of his chair and knelt beside yours in an effort to comfort you, but that did quite the opposite. He gently held onto your left hand and looked at you with softened eyes, except for the fact that they were grey and empty. You tried to stop crying but your tears became uncontrollable, and soon you were sobbing into the crook of your right arm’s elbow. It felt like your world was caving, as if your heart stopped and the air was stripped straight from your lungs. The worst part was how you had no clue what was the real problem, that was until you said that loathsome phrase you always did end up blurting out.

“Are.. Are you leaving me?” you asked timidly.

The fear in your voice was evident but you couldn’t find the strength or courage to pretend otherwise. Sometimes when you blurted it out you hoped he wouldn’t answer, just so that there was no choice for rejection. It was better that way you told yourself, even though he had never rejected you. To be frank, if he hadn’t put that worry in your head in the first place, then you wouldn't have reacted this way. But if there’s one thing you learned from this marriage it was that Diluc would show you only what he wanted you to see. So, to the world he was an honest man, a doting husband, and above all, kind, but that was not the reality you lived. 

Diluc took both of your hands now and gave them a tight grip, looking you deep in your eyes. “I will never leave you. Okay, sweetheart?” 

His words felt less like a promise and more like a threat. You used to have so much more fight in you, but these days you barely had any left. So, you nodded and allowed him to give you a hug before the both of you finished up your breakfast. The remainder of the day was spent watching out the windows of your regal prison, dreaming of the day you could finally feel the sun on your face again. This was the pattern of your every day, from the moment the sun went up and till the very time it fell below the ground; wishing and praying that someday your fate would change. Perhaps that day was closer than you presumed, but you were doubtful. 

The pattern continued for weeks, you had constant flare ups and Diluc would consistently refuse to let you leave the house. Until, one day ,the pain had lessened enough to the point where you didn’t need your cane or wheelchair, and instead could truly stretch your legs for once. It was by no means a permanent thing but you wanted to celebrate this small relief, and with what you might ask? A nice walk through the outside breeze of course. Today was the day you were so sure that Diluc would let you outside, or at the very least walk with you. 

So, you found a comfortable outfit to wear, looked at your aid with a triumphant smile, and carefully descended down the stairs. You were proud to be able to have a day free of your mobility aid, it was liberating, but you knew once you saw Diluc at the bottom of the steps that something was wrong. Something was very wrong, indeed. Slowly you walked down the staircase and once you were face to face with your husband, you could see his face was that of a truly frustrated and fed up man. 

He knows, you thought to yourself. 

“You’re late,” he said in a cold tone as he pulled out a chair at the table for you, and helped you into your seat. 

You kept your sights on your food as much as you could, because you knew damn well that Diluc could sniff out your true feelings with ease. Making sure to hold eye contact with Diluc as much as you could stomach, you took deep breaths as you readied yourself to ask the question you’d been dying to ask. This all depended on how healthy you appeared, if he caught even a whiff of pain or weakness it was all over for you. 

“Sorry,” you said weakly. 

Already your heart was banging hard in your ear drums, causing chaos before the eruption had occurred. You both waited patiently, and you, silently, for the remainder of the food to be served to you. Once you had been served the usual meal you were given, you stared at it for a good moment while Master Diluc began digging in almost immediately. Maybe he was in a better mood today, you thought to yourself. Maybe, or maybe not. He soon noticed you hadn’t touched your food and ushered for you to eat. 

“Eat,” he demanded, a hint of urgency lingering in his voice, but the overall tone was still harsh. 

It was when your teary eyes were long focused on the meal with no urgency to touch it that he raised his brow in suspicion and watched you with an angered expression. It was one thing to try to run away from his hot and cold exterior, but it was another to avoid his good deeds entirely. He set down his utensils with a loud clank and looked straight forward at you, trying his best to contain his rage. 

“I said, eat.” He demanded through grit teeth. 

This was the side of him that many– no, everyone missed completely. Those close to him didn’t see how cruel and unforgiving he was behind closed doors. They didn’t know that if all your food was not eaten how Diluc would sit there to make sure you ate even just a little more than you could stomach, against your begging wishes, of course. No one, and I mean no one except those that resided in the home, knew about his harsh tendencies. And that meant that not a single soul knew just how horribly he treated his sweet angel of a wife, but maybe it was better that way. After all, if someone like you was stupid enough to stay then maybe you really did deserve all the torture he’d constantly put you through. And you’d think that after his hardened voice demanding you to eat that your fear would kick in and force you to shovel down your food, but you’d be wrong. 

“Is there something wrong with the food, my dear?” He asked through grit teeth, again. 

You shook your head and tears fell into your food. 

Diluc stood up from his seat and stared you down. “Then what is wrong?”

You said nothing. Instead, you continued to cry into your food as Diluc stared down at you like a troublesome child. You just couldn’t stop, no matter how hard Diluc told you to calm down, relax, or ease yourself, it was all to no avail. It only furthered your pathetic tears. Diluc wanted to know the truth, just for you to tell him why you refused to eat, but if you told him the truth he’d only become more angry and you weren't sure you could handle that at the moment. You weren’t sure you could handle this life a moment longer, but unfortunately you didn’t and never had a choice. It was tragic really, but that was life for you. 

It wasn’t that you hadn’t tried to leave him before, trust me, you tried, but it was all to no avail. You could hardly make it downstairs without some help, so what made you think you could escape all on your own unscathed. When your family arranged the marriage you blindly accepted, thinking escaping your heartless family must be a better life than if you were to stay, but boy were you wrong. Diluc was sweet at first, kind and gentle just as he is in the public eye, but it wasn’t till the honeymoon that you realized something was terribly wrong. And by time you realized your mistake it was far too late. 

“I-” You started to speak, but were quickly cut off by your choking tears. 

You tried your best to speak up, say something, anything, but each time you were silenced by gut wrenching cries. The one time you attempted to look up to address the situation you were met with cold, unfeeling eyes and averted your gaze with hiccuping sobs. 

“Ugh, will you just spit it out already?” Diluc groaned in frustration. 

That only furthered your sobs and worsened it. Your hands tangled into your hair and began to scratch at your scalp for relief, but you only ended up with a sore scalp and traces of blood underneath your fingernails. Your tears grew bigger, your cries louder, and all sense of rationale left your body. The atmosphere was foggy and unclear, like looking into a cloudy looking glass for reasoning and coming up with absolutely nothing in return. You swore you heard a voice through the thickness of it all, but even as you were dragged from your seat in the dining room and led back into the privacy of your own room, you held no grasp on reality. It must’ve been hours, maybe days, or so it felt like, before you started to come to. A strong grip held you close to something, something warm, and rocked you comfortingly as small shushes could be heard near your ears. 

It was only moments later that you began to recognize the world around you, and the familiar figure holding you close. Too close. It was none other than Master Diluc. Why he was holding you in such a tender and intimate position, you weren’t sure you knew, but you one thing was for sure, it felt extremely uncomfortable. You writhed in his holding, trying your damnedest to squirm out of his hold, but he was much stronger than you. A pins and needles sensation spread from your hips to the tip of your toes, and you could barely move from your position. Your hands were free aside  from the vice grip Diluc had on your arms, almost crushing them as he held you closely. You felt the need to cry all over again, but suppressed it as hard as you could. Thankfully, your attempts worked and this time you remained strong.

You tried to remain quiet and confident, but your confidence was shattered the moment you heard his sweet yet poisonous voice ring through your ears. “You’re awake.”

Unfortunately

“Y-Yes. What happened?” You asked, trying to put the pieces together. 

Diluc shifted into an upright position and prepared to tell you some of the truth. He couldn’t have you trying to run off, again. Unfortunately, what Master DIluc didn’t know was that your determination far outweighed any punishment he could potentially give to you. After he explained it to you in his own version, you nodded in agreement and expressed your exhaustion. You wanted to go to bed and forget all about this day., even though it felt like it had just begun. Sure, Diluc had his suspicions as to why you so suddenly wanted to sleep after such a conversation, but he brushed it off as his own paranoia. After all, he’d curated a life that he made damn sure you could never run away from. At least, not without some help. 

That night was spent with eyes vigilantly open, wide and observant as you rested your head on the pillow, keeping out for when Diluc would come to bed. If he caught you in bed awake right now he was sure to have a few words, but you’d simply lie and say the pain kept you awake, which wouldn’t exactly be far from the truth, but it wasn’t the truth. You watched out the only window you had in your room, gazing at the open sky full of stars and the full moon and wondered what was taking Diluc so long. What was taking him so long? He should’ve long been in bed by now. So, why was he still hard at work in his study? Regardless of the reasoning you calmed yourself down, trying your best to satiate your impatience, because if you weren’t careful it could very well be the thing that led to your downfall. 

It must’ve been about an hour or so later when you heard the heavy footsteps of your husband head up the stairs and then quietly trail into your shared room. You could vividly hear him discard his clothes and climb into what you guessed were more comfortable ones. He kissed you softly on the forehead, foolishly believing you were asleep, and climbed into bed with you. Feeling his hot breath against your neck sent shivers down your spine, you couldn’t remember the last time you slept without him breathing down your neck, literally. It was awful. Although you were thankful that tonight his vice grip wasn’t holding you in place —making it perfect for your little escape plan— there was still a heavy feeling of discomfort floating throughout the bedroom. 

You were patient, and all that patience of yours finally paid off when you heard the light to heavy snores of Diluc behind you. It was time, time to make your escape. It would be tricky getting out of the bed with him in it, but thankfully Diluc was a heavy sleeper. Slowly and very very carefully you removed the blankets from your body and started to slide down to the edge of the bed. Closer.. Closer.. Closer.. Until finally, your legs hung off the edge of the bed. Diluc shifted in his sleep and let out a loud snore which caused you to jump in your own skin, but looking back you saw he was still fast asleep. Letting out a silent sigh of relief you steadied yourself with both hands as you placed both of your wobbly feet to the ground. Now, the next part would prove one of the most difficult tasks, getting your cane. It currently sat in a cage with other canes and umbrellas you owned (not that you ever actually left the house) and could potentially make a lot of noise if you weren’t careful. 

Cautiously you tiptoed to the cage and took a slow, deep breath before reaching inside and slowly pulled it out. It was a wooden cane so if hit at just the right amount of speed it could make quite enough noise, not as much as it would if it were metal, but it would be just enough to awaken the young master. With extreme caution you began to pull it out, further and further, until it was almost fully out, but in an unfortunate turn of events your hand began to grow weak and numb and you dropped it. Thankfully, you were able to grab it with your other hand before it could wake up Diluc, but not before it banged against the cage in a painfully loud manner. You froze in place, not moving a single muscle until you heard the light snores of Diluc once again. Carefully pulling out the entire cane you then positioned it as you usually would for the day and used it to help you hold your weight upright, as you gradually turned the doorknob and opened the bedroom door. 

Peeking out the door you could so no one and nothing except for the moonlight illuminating the hallway. Now was as good a chance as any to make a run for it, and so you quickly tiptoed down the stairs with the help of your cane to steady you, eagerly walking towards the door the moment your feet touched the first floor. Your hand hovered above the knob as you stopped in shock. Was this it? Were you finally going to leave this miserable and pitiful life to live one full of joy and freedom? It is what you deserved after all, you thought. It’s what you had always wanted and needed. Without wasting a moment sooner you turned the knob and braced yourself for whatever waited for you outside those doors, and stepped outside for the first time in a long time. 

It must’ve been summertime because the heat was thick and the air was muggy. If you had been out on a daily or constant basis you were sure you would’ve hated it, but in that moment you loved nothing more than to feel the heat and thick, muggy air. You never realized how beautiful the Dawn Winery was from the outside until just now. Crystalflies flew through the air and around the grape vines. The moon was full and the stars shone brightly in the nighttime sky. It was beautiful, everything you’d always dreamt of and more. The flowers were even more beautiful than you had remembered and they smelt even better than you could’ve ever dreamt of. Everything was perfect, absolutely perfect. That is until you saw the mansion lit up with lights and realized that he and possibly everyone else was awake. 

You tried to make a run for it as best as you could but you were stopped by a hand on your wrist pulling you backwards and down onto the ground. You fell into a puddle of mudd, soaking your nightgown as you looked up in horror at the man that was supposed to be your husband. His face was cold and full of fury, you’d never seen him look like this before. This wasn’t like those other times when you tried to take walks, because this time you had actually tried to leave him. Leave him all alone with only his wounded pride and broken heart for comfort. He was seething with rage and all you could do in reply was cry, cry like a child that had been caught with their hands in a cookie jar. You didn’t know what exactly prompted you to cry so much, so hard, and so pathetically, but you continued to do so anyway. 

“Come inside, now.” Diluc demanded.

But now that you had a taste of the outside world after such a long time of being deprived of it you wanted more, so you shook your head and rejected his commands. This only further angered Diluc, because he then pulled you up by your forearms and dragged you back inside. You clawed at the door frame trying to stay outside, but he was much stronger than you. He threw you onto the floor and slammed the door shut, proceeding to lock it tightly with a key you’d never seen before. Immediately Diluc started cursing at you, a bright fire in his eyes that consumed his very being began to spread as you realized you had royally fucked up. You couldn’t even focus on a word he was saying because all you could imagine was whatever hell he was about to put you through.

One Week Later…

“Come on, let’s get you all nice and pretty.” Adelinde said, tightening your brand new dress that Diluc had bought you.

It was an apology, a present, but you knew the true nature of the young master, and nothing could fix this marriage, not even your own freedom. You stood there and looked in the mirror as Adelinde fixed your hair with a smile. You too would’ve smiled if it weren’t for the grim reality you faced. Especially on days where Diluc invited over his brother for dinner. Kaeya had no clue of anything that went on in the mansion, not a damn idea, but that didn’t mean he had no suspicions. Kaeya was smart like that, could catch onto things quickly especially being the cavalry captain, and this sort of thing was no different. 

After Adelinde had gotten you all nice and ready the two of you descended down the staircase where you ran into Diluc and his brother, Kaeya. Kaeya looked towards you and smiled, helping you down the rest of the way. Kaeya always was a helpful and kind man like that, constantly helping those in need. Sometimes, just sometimes, you wished he’d help you escape this place, but that was a childish dream. The two of you exchanged pleasantries as you all sat at the dining room table and awaited your food. Everything was going well until the events of a week ago started to come flooding in. You tried your best to hide it but with how brightly the sun started to shine through the windows you couldn’t help but miss the heat and the thick air you once touched. 

“Are you alright?” Kaeya asked, but you playfully brushed off your odd behavior with laughter and a joke, but he was not convinced.

No, Kaeya was not so easily swayed by the same type of joking behavior he too would use to cover his own emotions. So, he watched you the entire dinner all the way till the end. He noticed how flinched against his brother’s touch and noticed how your gaze always seemed to find itself lined up with the open windows. Something was wrong, something was not right about this and he was determined to get to the bottom of it. He would not let you suffer a moment longer, no matter how impossible the mission seemed. Kaeya wanted to tell you this, he wanted to reassure you that he was going to help you escape, but he could never find the right time with Diluc and Adelinde breathing down his neck as he was sure they did the same, and much worse to  you. 

It soon came time to say his goodbyes and as he did he locked eyes with you, saying things with them that he would never dare to say out loud in front of the young master. Even though it was just a dinner, and a revealing one at that, he planned to have many more dinners with Diluc in the future, warm up to you, get closer to you, and hopefully gain your trust enough to help you escape this awful, awful place. That is if he didn’t get killed in the process of it all… 

[hoooooooooot]

Worm AU but instead of shards it's a magical girl/miraculous AU. Every power has a fucked up plushie or creature that embodies it. Instead having to make a costume the shards give you a magical girl transformation. Also the thing changed with you and your transformation with it. Let's try and come up with different new looks for the characters and have some fun with it.

Okay so I'll start with the guys who actually matter, the underseiders. I'll go easy/interesting to hard/boring.

Let's start with my boy Brian. Favorite wallflower. Now, you might be thinking "Brian would never wear frills, he can't be a magical girl" and you'd be correct. Plus, the whole point of his power is to hide him and his so he won't be too sparkly. Instead, he gets and elegant black suit with medieval armour haphazardly added on top. He looks like if a modern day bouncer in final fantasy. Also, his darkness is constantly leaking out of gaps in the armours and where it would have a feather.

As for what fucked up plushie I want to give Brian... At first I wanted to give him a pair of eyes that can only exist in the dark but then I realized that was basically just a grue. Then I realized a grue would be perfect! Yes, I'm not very creative but it is fun.

Next we have Taylor. Good old Taylor Hebert... What to do with you. See, I kind of want to give her a tapeworm that grows alongside her. Something literally eating her up inside, growing to consume more of her. To the point that she eventually puppets herself to be slightly faster than humans should be using it. The only problem is that it feels too on the nose. Eh, workshop later.

Now, what dress do we give good old Taylor... Taylor would hate wearing anything that calls attention to her, so she would probably get something lame. Boring even. A long dress with plenty of bulk and frills to hide her actual figure, some victorian era type thing. Expect as she grown into skitter the dress aquires layer for her to keep bugs in. The fold of the dress begin to resemble the layers of a hive. Or something idk.

Jean-Paul! See, this guy is interesting because I don't quite get his deal. I do think his final costume will be more or less what he wears in canon but the change form Hijack to Regent sounds fascinating. I can imagine his first transformation being more so based around his father, and either dramatically changing into canon or slowly adapting into canon until he escapes.

As for what his little animal will be... Instead of an animal I kind of want to give him an object. Be it his scepter, a crown, a series of puppets strings that wrap around him, or maybe even the ceramic mask. He's just an object kinda guy, yannow?

1/? I'll think more about this later

[garf-lover96]

my long ass elaborate ranking of Will Wood's (and The Tapeworms') albums!! (Everything is a Lot ranking list)

for the purpose of making this i've been listening to this whole album like non stop for the past week. i even made my parents listen to it with me (my mom liked it and said that she'd go to see the songs live if she could!). it was actually pretty difficult to rank all of them but i think the top 3 will remain unchanged forever, they're some of my all time favorites from will wood!! the way i'll do this i think is i'll write down all the things i like about a particular song, maybe a favorite lyric and a favorite moment or something. or just some general rambling. also i split Everything is a Lot into Everything is a Lot and Destroy to Enjoy, like in the remastered album!

———

1. Skeleton Appreciation Day in Vestal, NY (Bones)

first time i heard this song was over a year ago so i can't tell what my exact first impression was but it did almost immediately become my favorite song ever. I LOVE IT SO MUCH IT'S INSANE. also fun fact, memberoflottiescult really likes this song!

my main thing with this song is that it sounds like?? you know, bones?? it sounds like skeletons. the melody is like something a skeleton would've come up with. i can't explain it but it is hearable. best song ever

2. 6up 5oh Cop-Out (Pro / Con)

it was one of the first will's songs i've ever liked on spotify. ughhhh the energy, the general mashing of the piano and it sounding like it's about to fall apart any second lol!! the high ass notes. perfect, so perfect. i was listening to this song while purchasing a meter long plush goose. the song is like a brother to me

my favorite part is the spoken "am i being detained? am i under arrest? read me my rights please! I WANT MY PHONECALL" it's uhfhdfhkf. showstopping

3. White Knuckle Jerk (Where Do You Get Off?)

it took me exactly one (1) full listen to this one to absolutely fall in love with it, holy fuck. one of the best things i've ever heard. every time it's on i have to loop it a few times

my favorite parts are the "i wonder how i woke up in the middle of my surgery and i watched them botch my heart. only the second worst thing that i could've thought was 'this won't have to end if it doesn't start'" and "i'll never know what it's like to love you" because ummm???? the emotion in his voice omfg, i love it when this happens. it's so perfect (reminds me of julian devorak..........)

4. Lygerside Daydream

had me hooked after the first listen as well. i love the melody and i love how the lyrics are written here. i, too, want to blow the seeds of dandelions and wish for nothing more. such a sweet sound. one of my favorites as well. nice to daydream to, ha!!!

5. Front Street

idk how to explain this but the pace of the song, like the way the lyrics are sung is so satisfying. just the sentence structure and stuff.. uhhh i really don't know how to describe this, but i love it a whole lot. the piano melody here is amazing as well it so???? I DON'T FUCKING KNOW it's just good

6. The First Step

so nice to sing along to!!! "and i hope i don't choke on my vomit tonight" and "take my anxiety and my sobriety, i'll kill two birds with one stoner. so if you see me please, take my keys i don't wanna be an organ donor" are my favorite parts:3 so satisfyingly said

7. Chemical Overreaction / Compound Fracture

one of my first ones too i'm pretty sure. the chorus really pulled me in. fast and fun. i think i showed it to my godfather once. the spanish part scratches my brain so good

8. Cover This Song (A Little Bit Mine)

very nice to sing along to as well. i love the melody on the very first verse. i love the part with the piano solo so much

9. Everything is a Lot

i love the melody sooooooo much, "all the moments you've lost, all the money it cost" part is my favorite. shouldn't be overlooked!!!!!

10. Red Moon

i had to come around to it a bit but i actually love it. love the "the constellations form infinite paisleys in the sky" part, such a nice sound. satisfying lyrics in general

11. Thermodynamic Lawyer Esq. G.F.D.

nice to listen to when i want to have something screaming into my ears. loooove the fact that liar liar was sampled in the beginning, i really like that movie. i used to be obsessed with jim carrey also. i binged pretty much all of his movies as a little lad

12. Jimmy Mushrooms' Last Drink: Bedtime in Wayne, NJ

the kalimba kind of bothered me initially but i got used to it. i enjoy the melody. don't have much to say about it

13. ¡Aikido! (Neurotic / Erotic)

it's not horrible by any means, it just kind of doesn't do it for me. i usually skip it

14. Destroy to Enjoy

satisfying rhymes, i prefer not to listen to construction work as a past time

———

this took so long to put together, i kept forgetting about it or rearranging it...

[saltygilmores]

Thoughts While Watching Gilmore Girls- Season 2, Episode 16, "There's The Rub", aka a Masterpiece of Gilmore-dom, AKA Forrester Can't Bring Me Down, AKA Jess Rory And Paris Eat Together And All Is Right With The World-Part 2

Before we continue I'd like to acknolwedge the sweet and thoughtful people who have been leaving generous compliments about this shitcircus of a thing I'm doing here. Mwah. Who's ready for more TTR? (PS-Don't forget to check out part 1 and all of the previous episodes I've recapped! You can find them in my pinned post. Tryna work on a new master index in the meantime).

Dean Forrester's reaction to a woman talking. Can I just ask a question? Forrester, why are you even with this girl in the first place? Why did this relationship drag out over the course of five long years? You clearly don't like her. Every word she says seems to bore and annoy you. You don't want to join in any activities with her. She's clearly not gonna have sex with you (yet). You don't respect her or support her in any of her endeavors. Every week you do something to frighten her or make her fear you, and frankly, she's not a big fan of yours either. Truly, what is in it for you? Oh right, it's cause you're using her so you can eventually fuck her Mom. Silly me. Carry on, you sexist worm (no offense to decent worms everywhere).

Rory:

R: Do laundry, and watch tv and eat the Indian food that I love but my mom hates. Can ya'll believe this is an actual exchange of words that is happening right now? They're really going back and forth so Rory can gain Dean's approval to do her laundry. Oh hey, my Gilmore Girls Bingo Card is filling up! We have a "Dean, are you mad?" TIMES TWO.

WHY SHOULD HE BE MAD THAT YOU WANT TO SPEND ONE EVENING WITHOUT HIM. RORY... PLEASE. This is so worrisome.

Idk maybe cause you're a fucking tapeworm? Sorry tapeworms. You're head lice. Your leather coat fucking smells.

WHAT IS HAPPENING? Dear God, Rorygil. I love you but please grow a spine. In the span of mere minutes we saw her cave under pressure from Paris to the point she agreed to tutor her for an entire week, which was totally unnecessary. Paris was asking for like, one evening. A minute later RoryGil caves under pressure from Dean, and now she's talking like she's going to cater to his every (probably sick and perverse) need like some kind of servant, just because he scowled when she said she wanted to do her laundry. THERAPY NOW, RORYGIL.This people-pleasing is wildly out of control. If therapy is not a viable option, just fucking kick Forrester in the nuts and tell Paris to chill because you'll have plenty of time to play Dysfunctional Marriage when you're older and married to each other someday.

(TWWGG is alone in her room, repeatedly saying KICK HIM IN THE NUTS out loud) IT'S OKAY NEIGHBORS. I'M JUST YELLING AT DEAN FORRESTER. FICTIONAL CHARACTER FROM EARLY 2000s TV SITCOM. SLIMY WORM. NOTHING TO BE CONCERNED ABOUT. GO ABOUT YOUR BUSINESS. Let me translate this DeanSpeak for you. I'm a pro. "I'm a saint": "I'm a saint for dating you even though you won't let me do things like come over while your mom is out of town and feel you up on the couch." "I'm confused": "I'm confused as to why you would ever prefer blissful solitude over giving me an awkward handjob on your Mom's couch." You know, if you weren't enough of a worm as it is, you probably fucking pressure her sexually too. Me singing to Dean Forrester:

Is a kissing coach a thing? Couldn't someone at the WB Network put aside a couple of bucks to teach Jared Padalecki how to kiss? Barring that, at least a blow up doll or pillow to practice on? The fault CLEARLY does not lie with Alexis Bledel.

Can you imagine you're AB, you fucking get paid to kiss Milo at work and if that wasn't enough, you're really dating him, so you leave your job where you got paid to kiss him all day and go kiss him some more at home... I think about this A LOT. Cut to Emily and Lorelai at the spa, where hell has apparently frozen over because Lorelai Gilmore has actually shut the hell up. Me trying to make small talk on a first date:

HA, someone won't shut up and leave you alone and is constantly invading your personal space! How about them apples, Lorelai!

What is this magical place called a "Quiet Room" and can I shove any gilmore girls character of my choosing in there at any time? L: Mom, you booked us for a couples massage. Do you know what most couples do 5 minutes after this is over? They have sex, together, probably while wearing their robes. Someone on Gilly Girls said S-E-X. I am scandalized! E: You've been pouting, sighing, sulking, mumbling, rolling your eyes the whole time. L: That's just how I detox. LMAO. What a stellar line. This episode is so great. Despite the presence of Forrester the Worm.

Whoa Nelly! What kind of cosmic alignment was in place that day for Lorelai to actually apologize for something?

Err, two things... Firstly: Mr. Peanut Pajamas. I always love Rory's pajamas and I wonder where they all came from. Secondly: Is Rory running a laundry service for all 9,000+ citizens of Stars Hollow out of her home? Five days a week she wears a school uniform. Where did all these clothes come from?

I love it when Paris shows up on Rory's door step, she always looks like an abandoned puppy looking for a home for the night. And she sort of is. P: I tried to stay home and study by myself! But I can't! There is this aching in my heart that I just cannot ignore! It grows louder and louder by the minute! Rory Gilmore, I love you! Will you marry me? Okay, so I made up everything past the first line, but you know she was thinking it.

Paris guilt trips Rory into letting her stay because Rory feels bad that Paris' parents don't love her. Poor RoryGil. Just let her LIVE. R: Fine I'll study with you for one hour then you have to go home!

Narrator: Paris Geller would not in fact, be going home, but her NotGoingHomeNess would make for one enchanted evening.

Literally puppy eyes! This is after Rory said they would start studying after she got changed, and Paris responded "My hour doesn't start until you get back, right?" To be continued.

[bulldog-geckorahhhhh]

I just wanted to infodump about Herman for a bit rq :')

He's heavily aware of his needs, which is why he's a taxidermist in the first place, so he can satisfy them.

However, even though his needs are somewhat in control because of his job, there ARE some moments where he accidentally kills something. Specifically a cat or even a person if his needs were that bad.

Whenever that happens, he does cry and hold the victim close to him, and tries singing a song to cheer himself up (But it's a slow/sad song, maybe something from the Beatles or whatever)

Speaking of which, Herman loves music, including musicals XD. Sometimes he'd hum songs to himself while at work, and he tried making a theme for his shop! It goes something like this:

(I wrote the lyrics myself)

Idk if I might make this official, but he probably got his "needs" from his childhood (He didn't really have the best childhood)

HUGE abandonment issues

Definitely cried when his son Dexter was born :') (He also taught his son to "Hide his murderous tendencies with a reasonable job")

If he was an animal, he'd probably be a coyote

Despite how much he enjoys killing them, he love rats! And he likes infodumping about them too :3

And finally, 5 songs I associate him would probably be Dr Sunshine is Dead (Will Wood and the Tapeworms), Terry's Taxidermy (Teddy Hyde), In My Room (ICP), Afton Family (KryFuZe), and Uncontrolable Urge (DEVO)

Honorable mentions include Weird Science and/or Insects (Oingo Boingo), Copacabana, Michelle (The Beatles), Dentist! (From Little Shop of Horrors), and Eighth Wonder (Lemon Demon) (Also one more fun fact, he would've sang Michelle by The Beatles to Michelle when they were younger <3)

HERMAN MY BELOVED

[sniffanimal]

vague tw that I'm talking about weird fears and triggers I have, I'm gonna try and not be detailed but listing them above the cut seems redundant so only read below if you want to read about weird upsetting things

notably death, pregnancy, and suicide are mentioned.

I have like 4 fears that are like to my core absolute terror fears and like 3 of them are the easiest things to never encounter and the last one is so unlikely but they're still like terrifying to me

one is freezing to death, specifically on a mountain. I hate hiking and rock climbing already, so I'm likely never going to climb a mountain in the first place, let alone an icy mountain. but I'm terrified of dying in the cold, especially from low oxygen/nitrogen poisoning.

similarly, I'm terrified of being far underwater, really more than a few feet underwater in general. I'm afraid of drowning, but also afraid of decompression and nitrogen poisoning. I don't like swimming in the first place so the odds of me like, scuba diving, are so slim. but I'm so scared

those two also combine to my fear of dying in the vacuum of space, which again is very easy to not do.

next, I'm VERY afraid of getting pregnant. this is relatively easy to avoid, using contraceptives and such, but stuff like the Handmaid's Tale is deep horror to me. the entire process of pregnancy makes me sick, I'm scared of not only like the social emotional repercussions of having a baby, that's also terrifying, but the medical biological process of developing a baby and giving live birth is skin crawlingly terrifying to me. I think it's similar to how most people feel about the idea of getting a parasite. part of the horror is the fact that my body is designed to do this, and that people all over love doing it and seek out doing it, and it's regarded as a general good. what if you woke up one day and everyone was telling you it's extremely good and normal to have tapeworms and that God will bless you with a tapeworm someday. horrifying.

the last one that I can think of is assisted suicide. my full opinion is just people have a right to make informed medical choices about their bodies and nothing further than that. but something very specific about assisted suicide like gives me the willies. idk what aspect of it is, maybe it's just my entire history of suicide prevention depression therapy repelling against the notion of it being the best option for someone, idk. hospice care also sorta freaks me out in general. I think I'm really just scared of death in its many forms, but that's anxiety, babe!

I find the fact that I'm watching Grey's anatomy, a show where death is probably the second biggest plot driving force behind sex, interesting. It's kind of like watching a horror movie you know will scare you, or looking at a picture of something fucked up out of morbid curiosity. it helps knowing it's a TV show and thus not real, so it's like a safe way to engage with this fear of death in a way.

[mossify]

hi! :D hi there! :3

THE BASICS

the moss.

Moss or Manny

he/they

aroace and i guess transgender? maybe just agender. idk.

Random Interests

Chonny Jash

literally any mcyt (mostly Purpled)

Will Wood (And The Tapeworms)

Lemon Demon

Tally Hall

Should I just put indie artists?

The Amazing Digital Circus

Billie Bust Up

Ninjago (Zane my boy :])

Chikin Nuggit

Smokeebee

Anthropology (Did you know that the man who invented the frisbee—)

I can't think of more :/

Random Shit

side blogs: @mossifier @ask-showfall-media @pixelation-of-posts @jandthf-daily

reblog tags (art only. I only add comments if it's a text post, and if I have any): #monch #moss monch

autism + adhd

uh.

emoticons. yea. I use em.

tone tags, blease, I need em. 3:

DISCLAIMER

I might like art without reblogging it, mainly due to not wanting to articulate my thumbs to add the reblog tag.

(Just reblog it without the tag?)

I have a NEED to tell artists how much my stomach has claimed their art. If I see a piece of art that I haven't reblogged: I will do so later. I always have.

DISCLAIMER NUMERO DOS

I will not create multiple blogs for different interests, fuck that. You can handle my autism.

DISCLAIMER #3

I am NOT a Dream supporter. I like his silly little SMP lore, but I do not like the actual person. Please do not send hate just for me liking something/someone who's even moderately interacted with Dream.

I also don't support Wilbur.

bye! :3

[god-mouths]

i wanna hear about,,,, literally any of ur guys actually i love hearing abt ur guys :] if thats too vague pick me a guy and tell me about their inspirations/how you came up with their stories/designs/traits!! i think your stuff is so fascinating and i wanna know how that rotates in ur brain

OOOG…. Thank youe…. I’ve realized a few patterns in how I tell my stories lately so I do want to go over those! I’ll be using yvette my buddy my pal to demonstrate this because he’s the best example. ( later edit : Actually I have more stuff to talk about I’ll number it)

1. I’ve noticed a ton of my story material is based on how the people around us or our surroundings effect us. The cycles and whatnot. For yvette he starts out as a yellow blood and, in trying to forcefully change the oppression imposed on him from his surroundings, actually sort of just continues it by killing a close friend of his. That friend ends up haunting him. Teed hee

Idk if the pictures will come across well since I’m on mobile but to break down this specific piece the colors used on REPENT and the tapeworms in the back are actually the colors of his old psionics before he did all that mad scientist crap to change himself. OLD ART!! AUGHH AU AUGGHH

Is it a little stupid that he changes his own blood color? Yes. But homestuck as it’s own is so beyond stupid that I can do whatever I want I’m a scavenger a critter.

But by changing his blood color yvette essentially locks away his psionics (there must be something very specific to yellow blood to make the psionics work to me) siphoning them off into the trident he wields. He can’t get rid of ALL of his original blood, so the yellow just stays dormant. Should he choose to use his psionics in this new state he’s made for himself he risks fucking up his organs even further.

Anyways it takes a human child with the same exact problems as him to realize Heyyy…..maybe what I did and have been doing is a little fucked. Which it was. But it was the only thing he could have done, in his eyes, because the alternative was getting hooked up to a machine for the rest of his life.

At the end of the story (? Fan venture?) he does break out his psionics again which causes the blood to mix. He’s redeemed but he’s not nearly as cool anymore. Big bummer

2. colors always mean things more often than not in my art. I am a “why is the curtain blue” type of asshole, and I love to do it. For instance in MATSC green is for heaven and blue is for hell, but they have more than just that meaning. Green is confinement and being trapped and whatnot, while blue is freedom. Still kind of iffy on what purple means but it may mean the same as green. We’re figuring it out. In LEM I’m also still working on it, but blue is a mainly bad color there while orange is instead the signifier of good things. As for paradigm shift it’s more of a character-to-character basis. They all get their own specific colors. I loveeee colors colors colors :)

3. I LOVE writing villains. It is my personal goal with every villain I write to see how genuinely horrible I can make the villain as a person and still get people to enjoy reading them. It’s so fun, I mean it. Like the type of guy that would absolutely stump tumblr’s famous reading incomprehension. I love it I LOVE IT

4. This isn’t about my stories overall, just one, but I finally finished the first draft for act one of paradigm shift which I am PSYCHED about. I sent it out to a few people for feedback- only a select few people, though. If it were any other story I’d send it to a wider range but it is IMPERATIVE that my buddies that experienced max first hand when we were little 12 year old kids doing stupid roleplays get to see it first. They know him very well, and Vice versa. I’m so excited. (Air horns) (yippee sound!)

[thenineofus]

Ok, I'll do it then, I need to talk about Things Have Gotten Worse Since We Last Spoke.

I have been rotating this in my head for months now, and the reason it frustrates me so much is because there are many interesting concepts the book introduces but Eric LaRocca can't write to save their life!

Take for instance the Oedipus Rex thing. So the book is heavily inspired by Oedipus Rex, with the mommy issues and the eye thing at the end. But it feels so shallow, the mommy play happens exactly once and it's not enough to drive home the theme, and if this was their goal, why not imply that the Zoe IS Agnes' mother catfishing her, and that's why she never sends pictures and rejects the offers to meet up irl? Or idk, be more heavy handed with the mommy play, but even that wouldn't be so effective, Oedipus is only shocking because it really was his mother all along, mommy play is very vanilla in my opinion.

One interpretation I saw someone have is that maybe Zoe killed Agnes and forged the emails they exchanged, since she had Agnes' passwords. But if that was ever truly a possibility that the readers should pick up at, then there should be SOME indication that there could have been some action Zoe took that could threaten Agnes' life before idk a sudden change in the emails subject or something. And most importantly: the characters should have unique voices! Well, they should no matter what, that is just decent writing anyway. But if at some point we need to suspect that one of them is impersonating the other, then it's vital that we can recognize their writing, which we don't at all, they talk exactly the same from the very beginning.

The way Eric LaRocca writes characters is one of my biggest issue with their stories. Eric is very well read and knows many complicated words, and they want us to know that, so EVERY SINGLE ONE of their characters talk in this unnatural way, using very specific words, for very mundane conversations. I have read 3 stories they wrote and across all three, the 6 main characters ALL talk like that.

Another issue I have with their writing is that they want so bad to describe the fucked up things and disgust/disturb the reader, but they don't really know how to weave all these things together, so characters just randomly tell each other about that one thing they read on the paper, that one thing their father told them he did, that one thing they saw when they were a child. And none of the things comes back thematically, it's so gratuitous that it even fails to disturb.

Which brings us to the most disappointing part, the tapeworm thing. It all happens so fast and so inconsequentially. The author really thought they were being sooo clever by making this girl contract a parasite on purpose to feel like there is a baby growing inside her. But then we barely get any description of negative reactions a person gets when they contract a parasite, she has some cramps and that's it? Then it passes and she gets sad, it's all so pointless.

It is a wasted opportunity, what if Agnes started getting thinner and thinner, lost hair and teeth because tapeworms absorb the vitamins their host consume. What if she had instead gotten a brain worm instead of her desired intestine one. What if in that part of the story she thinks she didn't contract anything she starts getting seizures, hallucinations and behaving erratically, only to find out she DID get her tapeworm, but in her brain instead!

That would actually have been clever, because she specifically eats raw pork, and taenia are more likely to spread via pork. And also one of the most common symptoms of these parasites is that it affects the EYES, which would make the ending even more thematically coherent.

Anyway, I guess I'm saying all of this because I can't stop thinking of all the potential this book has to be genuinely interesting, but that are never realized because Eric LaRocca is a bad writer, they should hire a co-writer or a better editor, someone that pushed them to do more and do better, all their stories feel like a first draft.

[libertys-lovers]

CW/TW: Parasite Mention (?)

(Yes this is about the book where Karamatsu takes you to the Meguro Parasitological Museum again BSJWKEK)

~~~~

I just… I’m sorry, I fucking love thinking about that as a Kareedom date. Idk if it’s canon enough that he’d feasibly take her there in their lore… but idk man just entertain the thought for a second NSKDKD

So, imagine being Karamatsu, right? Imagine having your first girlfriend that you reeeaallllyyy wanna impress, right? You wanna take her on the coolest dates, the ones you know she’ll like; you have an image of being the best boyfriend ever to keep up, after all~! She’s gotta feel lucky she scored ya!

One day, offhandedly, you learn she likes museums! Perfect, that’s a perfect date opportunity! The only problem is… you’re not a museum person. You don’t know what the fuck you’re doing with this. So you start trying to figure out, like, what the coolest sights would be. You want to show her something that she’s never seen before! …and you land on the fucking pARASITE MUSEUM. She’s probably seen statues and paintings and dinosaurs a million times before, but has she ever seen Meguro’s longest tapeworm?! I don’t think so! Hell, maybe she’d get freaked out by the lil guys and cling to you for comfort… yeah… yeah this was a great idea.

And you know what? It WORKS! Not her being scared or anything, no not at all! You were probably more disturbed than her, to be honest! But she’s fucking ecstatic. She’s making you take photos of her with the tapeworm. Somehow you end up getting matching parasite shirts. She’s gonna be talking about parasites to her friends for at least a week. Needless to say, you did your job, and you did it very well…. Good luck dealing with her beg to go back every other month-

[luc1ferian]

Giving this a try if you don't mind!

January: Marketland - Lemon Demon (I get a lot of opportunities to buy things but they all suck)

February: HUMANS - GEN.KLOUD (My "dishumanity" arc furthers)

March: I Earn My Life - Lemon Demon (More pain and suffering over living in a capitalist society where life feels so small and limited)

April: The Ocean - Lemon Demon (Either I get really into the sea and ocean or I do things with my sea monster oc :D)

May: Spring and a Storm - Tally Hall (I go through hard times but I learn to find the good things within them)

June: The Man in Stripes and Glasses - Lemon Demon (Idk, I forget something important?? I get forgotten?? I finish a project I've been working on all my life and now I feel kinda empty??)

July: This is Home - Cavetown (Oh boy uhh, I lose a friend somehow and have an identity crisis?)

August: ¡Aikido! (Neurotic / Erotic) - Will Wood and The Tapeworms (Uh I get a crush on someone)

September: Willard! - Will Wood (OH SHIT NOT THIS SONG UH I FEEL LESS AND LESS CONNECTED TO HUMANITY OR SOMETHING??? Maybe it won't be bad and I'll get a mouse or make an animal friend)

October: Stay Alive - Hamilton The Musical (Fighting to stay alive)

November: Rule #21 - Momento Mori - Fish in a Birdcage (I get addicted to caffeine and get stuck in a work spiral)

December: Vs. Lancer - Toby Fox (Silly time)

open tags! (bc im too shy and nervous to tag people)

i wanna start a tag game so: let your spotify predict your 2024!

shuffle your on repeat playlist, and the first twelve songs represent your 2024

january- guns and ships- hamilton (idek what this could represent but okay)

february- we fell in love in october- girl in red (PLEASE)

march- say no to this- hamilton (…i have nothing to say about this)

april- castles crumbling- taylor swift ft hayley williams (damnit sad month then?)

may- you’re losing me- taylor swift (FUCK TWO SAD MONTHS?? breakup songs are even worse now that im actually in a relationship. please. better not be accurate)

june- astronomy- conan gray (please stop why am i having so many sad songs)

july- stoned- ed sheeran (oh fuck this)

august- new year’s day- taylor swift (hm okay. idk what to say about this)

september- heather- conan gray (i consider heather to be a happy song AND it’s mine and my partners song so i’m taking this as a good one)

october- 18- one direction (yessss we’re going okay now)

november- king of my heart- taylor swift (YESSS)

december- all too well (ten minute version)- taylor swift (i take it back ugh)

no pressure tags!!- @autumnleavesforwinter @weeping-in-the-willows @swiftieannah @felizusnavidad @jittyjames @anixknowsnothin (please help me get this off the ground, but also if this flops you saw nothing)

[lexpressobean]

Thoughts on Kikaichu as actual Parasites.

Knowing how skin and the body generally works on a medical level, the "hive" aspect of the Aburame clan really drives me crazy. 'Cause parasites are real, obviously, but the size of Kikaichu beetles makes absolutely no sense in comparison to irl skin parasites. At least not in a bee hive sort of way lol

rambling because my mind craves logic and I'm specializing as a wound care nurse but it's literally anime so what do I expect lol

No, wounds don't freak me out, I'm more terrified of generally handling vomit and babies than I am a dehiscence of a 15cm long surgical site lol. The human body can literally take so much abuse before it really starts to give and try to alert you that you need help! And once you give it help, it really can come full circle to the wound 100% looking like it was never there. The body is an amazing thing <3

However the first thing that comes to mind when I hear the word "parasite" is always going to be "tapeworm". That's not gonna change. However, kikaichu are not worms and CERTAINLY don't grow that fucking huge or live that long. (A tape worm can live long enough to graduate with a fucking PhD. Can you believe?) I haven't been exposed to any urgent situations involving parasites yet, however, the one I would compare a Kikaichu to that is (unfortunately) also common is the scabies mite.

Very briefly, scabies mites (Sarcoptes scabiei) are technically a type of arachnid that grow no bigger than a bout 0.5mm in size, but CAN be seen with the naked eye if you're looking for them. They crawl around the skin and burrow specifically in the top layer of skin, called the epidermis. The epidermis is that protective layer of skin and can be between 0.5mm to 1.5mm thick depending on which part of the body you're looking at. After the epidermis, you have the dermal layer, which is where sweat glands, nerves, and capillaries are found. Scabie mites will not burrow that deep because they only burrow to lay their eggs and such. As they do this they can cause visible tunnels and other marks that can be mistaken for acne or other skin conditions if not properly identified. You'll most likely know because the itch is VERY BAD.

They're very easily spread by close contact and a scabies infestation needs to be treated with a prescribed pharmacological means.

However, kikaichu are definitely a lot bigger than 0.5mm. In the case of size, I would compare them at minimum to fruitflies/medflies, which grow up to 3-5mm and maximum to ladybugs 4-7mm.

3-7mm > 0.5-1.5mm... obviously. And the holes which Kikaichu swarm out of that the audience has seen before are about a size comparable Shino's nostrils, IT DOESN'T MAKE SENSE!!

You're telling me those things were in his mouth?????????? S H I N O N O

That would mean, in realistic terms, the Kikaichu are fucking around in Shino's body to the bone and muscles and THAT'S A REALLY SCARY THOUGHT. Even just passing the epidermis to the dermis is alarming! Compared to the dry, protective epidermis that can and does take damage, the dermis can be 1-4mm thick depending on where you're looking and is where skin does it's business. All together that becomes 0.5-5.5mm of space BARELY big enough for a fruit fly do mess around in. It makes just enough sense in terms of THAT size, but last time I checked, having the skin penetrated to the dermal layer is just asking for infection to happen. You're first natural line of defense has been breeched, there's a pretty good chance you're gonna be bleeding (blood vessels) and general body fluids are going to be draining, which is bad for a multitude of reasons, and there's damage that gonna affect the nerves, and realistically this shit is going to be ABSOLUTELY painful if they're constantly manipulating those areas near nerves. These kinda of things CAN make new connections and things like that, sometimes damage is forever. (Case by case basis).

So my first thought to more or less "magically" solve the problem with anime logic, is that first of all, it's an anime and logic doesn't have to apply haha.

On a more sci-fi level, in which kikaichu are smaller than we've seen them shown, maybe they have been purposefully been allowed to burrow into the dermal layer of the skin at least because the blood vessels seem to be in direct contact with the chakra system. Kikaichu's prefered food is chakra, but they WILL mutiny and eat their respective Aburame from the inside out if they don't balance their chakra smartly. So it's safe to say Kikaichu are at least carnivorous as well, and so I only imagine these absolute nightmares would swarm their prey in the wild, and actively bite through and burrow into the body of the prey until they found the chakra system and went to town on that poor unfortunate soul. Eaten alive, how the hell did they "tame" them in the first friggin' place??

I like to think two things:

1) Kikaichu are passed down from parent to child, and the parent has control over the Kikaichu until they have been RIGOROUSLY trained for generations to comprehend that this baby/child isn't food, it's a new hive. If bees can comprehend time, Kikaichu can comprehend what an Aburame is. If they insist on trying to drain the babe or the babe just can't tolerate them, the parent takes the Kikaichu back and the babe is assigned another insect or position in general. Like hell they're gonna try to force a relationship like that.

2) As part of the successful symbiotic relationship, Kikaichu regularly debride the tunnels and borrows that they carve into their respective Aburame, and are naturally intuitive in avoiding as many nerves and blood vessels as possible. The chance of infection is never 0%, however, kikaichu are pretty good about taking care of their tunnels, and so it gives the Aburame more time to focus on their things, like increasing the amount if chakra in their system. To ensure that they stay healthy, Aburame are encouraged to eat as much protein and Vit C possible every day, whether it be meat, beans, lentils, eggs, oranges, tomatoes, or even supplements as times modernize. The dermis is living tissue and as long as debridement/tunneling is going on, it needs to be nourished as much as possible.

I don't know how the hell Aburame deal with the obvious drainage that would be coming from their bodies, assuming the dermal layer really is free game for the Kikaichu. But the magical solution is that... they don't? Because... drainage is minimal. The Kikaichu just do such a good job lol. Maybe they purposefully... carve entrances to be flappy, or they purposefully create pocket spaces underneath seemingly healed areas of skin to easily burst open when necessary. That's the biggest thing for me, leaking body fluids. There's no way around that shit besides straight up denial lol Maybe they wear a special kind of dressing underneath their clothes, or that's directly applied with their clothes. Maybe that's what that cute little backpack is filled with, who knows!!

Idk man. I'm sure the Aburame authority forces encourages many of their non-hive members to pursue medical nin training in order to give the clan more privacy in general too. All medics that claim the Aburame name are exclusively used by the Aburame Clan. A non-Aburame medic may end up healing tunnels and burrows that were meant to stay open because "oops" and now you have an X amount of insects possibly suffocating within a completely sealed pocket of the skin, and also now there's a very good chance that after those insects die, that whole area is gonna frickin' abscess and cause infection induced tunnels the longer it's left alone and GROSS THAT WASN'T SUPPOSED TO HAPPEN! THERE IS A DELICATE, ORGANIZED, SELF-SUFFICENT PROCESS TO ALL THIS!! A PROCESS!!!

Like... the other ninja in the NartVerse can make as many jokes, jabs, and comments about the Aburame as they please (INO? BITCH??? but to be honest I still love her lol). But these MFers are constantly playing Russian Roulette with these high maintenance demon spawn from hell, and there are VERY little defences against Kikaichu, virtually none. Like the only thing I've ever seen actively thwart Kikaichu across all media is killing them with mass fire, countering them with large amounts of poison gas (both very exterminator like) or literally just feeding them chakra until they're so stupid full, they can't move, the little gluttons. As far as genjutsu, it's been stated that it's both effective and ineffective, so idk about that. But the Aburame are just SO set up to be the living breathing embodiment of Shinobi as defined by the NartVerse. They're whole clan culture relies on the threat of enemies. If they have no enemies, the whole relationship is an exhausting endeavor for literally no reason. It's not worth it if there's no one to fight or protect! But when there is a threat, you want them on YOUR side.

I suppose the best bet is to incapacitate the Aburame individual asap and the Kikaichu will tend the individual, making escape easier. But, if you DID manage to kill that Aburame right away, that particular Aburame's swarm is now suddenly without its food source and without restraint.

What do you THINK is gonna happen, bro?? The second an Aburame loses their grip on their consciousness due to external influences, the bugs go bonkers because I'm pretty sure Kikaichu are simply persuaded to be in this relationship and have NO tolerance for bullshit like alcohol and overheating temps. If their Aburame dies, they probably cause just as much chaos as they would as a wild, unattended swarm. Then YOU BETTER HAVE fire or poison gas or SOMETHING handy. The only way to calm them down is to offer them chakra and a new host with equal or even more chakra reserves. Otherwise the mutineers must be eradicated.

And for serious... Like, any deeper and the kikaichu would be in the hypodermal/subcutaneous layer of the skin and that's where a lot of connective tissue is located. Let's NOT mess with that shit, shall we? NOT a good idea. It's called connective tissue for a reason first and foremost...

[neon-zoologist]

Thank-you @kat-in-books for the tag!!

Nickname: I mean I guess Neon and Tommy count as nicknames? Idk most of what I am called are nicknames haha.

Gender: nonbinary woman with that nonbinary being a bunch of xenic and kenochoric genders

Sign: cancer

Height: 157.5 cm and I can never remember if that's 5'2" or 5'1"

Time: 11:55pm

Fav band: uhh idk mcr maybe?

Fav solo artist: Will Wood (maybe he counts in the band section since the tapeworms still play too but idk)

Song stuck in my head: currently nothing since I'm listening to music right now

Last movie I saw: I am in the middle of Brave so let's go with that

Last show I saw: would have been some episodes of Stargate Atlantis :)

When did I create my blog: this one specifically would have been 2020 I think (checked and it was end of 2019 actually which tracks now that I remember this started as a tgs blog specifically)

What do I post about: pfft anything, mostly hlvrai and mad science stuff, but there's also a lot of gothic lit, horror, animals and plushies

Last thing I googled: would have been the temperature where I live since it's been all over the place and so I've been constantly wearing the wrong clothes unless I search it

Why did I choose my url: wanted something new and non-fandom specific, my name is cool and I'm studying to be a research psychologist so

Do I have other blogs: yes, 2 others (and I've had others before and then deleted them haha but these 2 are remaining) (I assume this means side blogs)

Do I get asks: not really, unless I do an ask game

Following: 226

Followers: 243

Average hours of sleep: pfft ranges so much from like 5-9, but can be more or less

Lucky number: idk, family's is 2, 7 and 0 though

Instruments you play: none

Last book you read: Junji Ito's Frankenstein

3 fictional universes you'd like to join: Idk ahh i hate these questions because there's so many things to consider. There's always bad stuff happening in these universes. Umm but like any sci-fi or fantasy world would be cool really.

Tagging: won't tag anyone this time but feel free to do it and say I tagged you ^^

[thesumlax]

Posting increasingly shittier-looking content once in a blue moon as usual, yay!  Anyway, I`ve had enough dreams to assemble another page of these, and now I`ve got an opportunity to scan some haphazard sketches, so, as usual, top to bottom, left to right:

1) There was a some kind of page with six pictures of monsters, of which I only vaguely remembered two. This dream might have also taken place in the world of Monster Hunter - or not, the setting was in constant flux, sort of. Anyway, here on the right we have a "spotted bearshark" - nothing like a bear or a shark, really, and I`m not even sure if it was actually spotted, but it was probably blue. On the left is an "oceanic kitten" - some kind of swampy-green cat-penguin that couldn`t even walk, but was apparently a great flier, and a swarm of these scared away even the most powerful monsters and hunters alike. 2) All I know about these two is that they`re a cartoon protagonist duo. The buff lizard girl may be an amalgamation of several dream beings that I misremembered, IDK. 3) What my subconscious considers an elf, apparently. Not sure how his face is supposed to work, and I know absolutely nothing about his armor/clothing, but I remember him being a nice shade of pink. He was singlehandedly waging a revenge-motivated war against a race of "orcs" (they were called something else, but whatever, I forgot that word) - beings of similar body plan, but redder and pointier. They had a crippling weakness in that killing their sole queen would make them go extinct, so that elf better be stopped! 4) Now this was a rare one - an actual nightmare, kind of. I even submitted it to Bogleech`s Nightmare Menagerie 2021, so I`ll just copy my description from there: It starts as some sort of simple, 2D, probably pixel-art video game – which I guess I am playing, though I can`t see myself at the computer or anything, the game is the whole dream. Nonetheless, I associate myself with the player character – some sort of simple, unsegmented yellow worm with little eyespots – look at some terrestrial nemerteans and you get the picture. The only thing it can do is spit a little webbing or goo. It crawls through a winding, but completely linear corridor of brown dirt and equally brown (though sometimes not) ribs and skull interspersed through it (ostensibly human ones, though sometimes the skulls are just weird bone lumps with circular orifices). The only obstacles here are strange double-ended spikes that rotate in the middle of the corridor, which must be locked in a transverse position for the worm`s head to pass through them (the rest of the worm does not seem to be affected by the spikes). At the end (bottom?) of the corridor is a bigger pile of those weird bones, and puling it apart (with the worm`s webs, I suppose) reveals the monster. It`s another, bigger worm (exciting, I know) – this one is segmented, with either some markings on its back or the organs showing through skin. Something like a semi-transparent tapeworm with a planarian`s head. Now I (the player character worm) must run from it backwards through the corridor, and the only thing that can hurt it (not that there are any consequences to it later) are the rotating spikes locked in the same transverse position that allowed me to pass through them unharmed. Finally I emerge from a hole in the ground, and it`s now the “real life” – I`m somewhere at the highway near the place I grew up in (it`s a decent-sized village, or maybe a town by American standards, near the city of Barnaul, Russia), and also my mother is there. It still retains the aspects of game – apart from the fact I`m still the worm (now actually in first person), there are some characters I can only describe as videogame NPCs and I must navigate a short labyrinth of tiny walls in order to proceed (thankfully, a can crawl over the walls now that I`m 3D). The monster worm emerges soon after, scaring away the NPCs, but it`s much slower than me, so I flee through the village towards my parents` house. It`s placed differently from what I remember, and in place of the garage they`re building a new house – starting with a roof placed directly onto the foundations, so it must be lifted constantly to build the walls. Also all the neighbors are replaced with my relatives. I look for places to hide and eventually find one in the basement of the unfinished house, as the neighbor-relatives alert me that the enemy worm is approaching. From its back, it extends multiple noose-shaped tendrils of wispy cloud-like substance high into the sky, trying to locate me via electroreception. In the end, the weather grows cold and wet for some reason, and the monster worm is anticlimactically defeated by spraying it with water until it freezes and can be shattered into pieces. I get to keep its head, which is surprisingly snakelike, impaled onto a huge needle (I’m still a worm, though I managed to grow hands somewhere along the way apparently). 5) This is the oldest one here, and one I remember surprisingly well. This creature was an alien species hunted by humans for valuable pelts and chelicerae. It was huge and metallic in composition, and the humans were only allowed to use melee weapons, which was not a good time to say the least. Naturally, some people decided to do some poaching with a powerful armed drone... and were immediately arrested by a squad of even stronger police drones coming out of nowhere. It turns out the aliens had their own well-hidden civilization, and the individuals being hunted lost their minds due to a certain disease. This is because they need to consume "metallorganic embryos" sucked from some kind of massive superorganism, but there`s a deficit of those due to overpopulation, and that causes them to irreversibly turn into mindless feral animals. Fortunately, an artificial replacement can be made from human automobiles, so they arranged a deal with the human government. Apparently this species is fine with sick individuals being hunted like beasts, but only if it`s honorable melee.